#my media aesthetics class definitely would that class was all about how the look of the shot reflects the meaning

[demadogs]

Honestly I find it really telling that every person I see that is a professional writer or studied/studies film like you is convinced of Byler endgame but none of them support milkvan...

i am so dead serious when i say this, byler WILL be taught in professional film lectures and classes for years after its canon. they do so many things with film alone, other than just dialogue and actions.

a lot of film/video/editing classes bring up things that you wouldnt even think were something that was studied or analyzed that seriously. in one of my classes we watched the twilight baseball scene. in an editing class im taking right now we watched the happily never after disney videos by jon cozart. so if you think this wouldnt be something talked about in film classes youre so wrong.

in pretty much all of my film classes stranger things has been brought up for multiple different lessons. after byler is canon everything like the closet framed kiss, the aesthetics of the mlvn breakup compared to the rain fight, blue and yellow symbolizing mike and will, framing will in the middle of el and mikes reunion, the fact that will is in the shot when mike says he loves her. all of these will be in slideshows and used as examples of how you can film your subjects in ways that foreshadow whats to come. i wouldnt be surprised if it already is being used in lectures.

if i asked any of my professors if they think byler is happening i think all of them would say yes.

[seonghwaddict]

★ NEVER SAY NEVER. [ 001 ] over my dead body.

synopsis. something about the eight most well-known boys of your campus just didn't sit right with you, so you never gave any effort to interact with them. but after a series of... interesting incidents, they can't seem to leave you alone. pairing. college students! vampires! ot8! ateez x fem! reader. genre. fluff, angst, eventual smut, college au, vampire au. chapter warnings. suggestive comments, swearing, wooyoung being an annoying piece of shit. word count. 1.1k

　　　　　　　　chapter i // chapter ii

"The groups have already been decided and the list can be found on the bulletin outside. See you all next week." And with that, your professor walked out of the studio and left your classmates scrambling to get out of class and find the list.

All things considered, your day could have been worse. Yes, you'd gone to bed at 5 am and woken up at 7 to your housemate blasting music in the bathroom as she showered. Though, that was a daily occurrence, being mad over it just didn't make sense anymore. Yes, when you got into the shower and turned on the water without paying attention to the heat dial, you pretty much burned off your skin. Yes, on the way to the art department you had dropped one of the paintings you've been working on for over a month, getting mud all over the bottom half of the artwork.

But, nevertheless, it could've been a lot worse.

As you gathered the used paintbrushes next to your easel, you thought about who could be your partner for this collaborative project with the dance majors. Professor Yun just spent about ten minutes informing you and your peers that the art majors were to pair up with a dance major to create an artwork. The specifics—such as whether it'll be a painting or collage or other media—were completely up to the students.

You holstered your bag on your shoulder, finally leaving the art studio to see who you were paired with. Maybe it'll be Suncha, possibly the most beautiful girl you'd ever seen. You could definitely see yourself working with her. She moved with grace and would probably be the best subject you could ever wish for. Maybe Daehyun—you'd always found his face and body aesthetically pleasing.

The crowd in front of the bullet slowly dissipated and people found their partners in the crowd, already making conversation and talking about the project. With a slight sense of dread but a pinch of anticipation, you stepped up to the list and scanned it, quickly finding your name next to-

Oh you've got to be kidding me.

Nevermind, this was definitely one of the worst days you'd ever experienced. Because right next to your name, stood a name associated with one of the eight most sought-after men on your campus.

Jung Wooyoung.

They'd never done anything to you personally, but you just weren't a fan of the way they'd go from girl to girl without being ashamed or being called out. Granted, you weren't sure if all eight of them behaved like that (though this particular Jung Wooyoung did), you still disliked them (except for one of them, but you'd never admit that). Maybe it was how they were practically handed everything they needed at any given moment on a silver tray. Or how ridiculously good looking they were. Either way, something about them just felt... off.

An arm being slung over your shoulder broke you out of your thoughts of just ending your life right then and there. Without even looking at the person, you already had a suspicion of who it could be.

"Hey there, partner," He stepped in front of you, hand lingering on your shoulder for a second longer than you'd like. A mischievous smile graced his features, "I don't think I've ever talked to you. What's your name, pretty?"

"It's on the paper right behind you." You deadpanned, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

For a second, Wooyoung's eyes hardened before that playful glint returned. "I know, but I'd like to hear you say it. After all, I don't want to be pronouncing it wrong."

With a sigh, you gave him your name and he repeated it, testing the sound of it on his tongue. Seemingly satisfied, he returned to your side with a hum and once again slung his arm over your shoulders, steering you toward the exit of the arts department and practically dragging you with him.

Along the way, you passed multiple clusters of girls and boys, some of them watching Wooyoung with admiration and lust in their eyes while others simply glared at you out of jealousy. Feeling their stares, your head turned to the ground and you screwed your eyes shut, wishing it was Daehyun dragging you. Not this painfully pretty, charming man that you couldn't stand.

"So," Wooyoung started—though he never really stopped talking, "I was thinking, if you don't have any courses or stuff for the rest of the day, you can come over to my place and we can start working on whatever it is we have to do."

"I told my roommate I'd be back early to clean our apartment."

"Oh, then I can come with you, help you and then you can come to my place."

"Why not just do it at my place?"

"That's fine, too. Maybe you can show me to your bedroom?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and you had to hold back the urge to smack him right then and there.

"Over my dead body."

"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not really into necrophilia."

It was then that you noticed you were walking towards the campus' parking lot. You stopped in your tracks and waited for Wooyoung to turn.

"Ok, first of all, what the fuck. But I guess I'm glad that's not your thing. Second, what are you doing? Where are you taking me?"

He blinked. Once, twice. "I'm taking you to my car...?"

"Why?"

"To take you to my place so we can work?" He looked behind him and then back to you, his dark hair bouncing around and revealing the bleached layers underneath.

"But I have stuff to do." You crossed your arms over your chest, shifting your weight to your right leg as you looked up at him. He wasn't that much taller, but because of his proximity, it was hard to look him in the eyes without craning your neck just a bit.

A chuckle (though it sounded more like a giggle) escaped him. "The dishes and vacuum can wait. I'm only available for the next two hours, after that you're free to do whatever you want."

You took a second to mull things over before dropping your head and groaning. "Fine but–"

"Great!" Wooyoung grabbed your hand and resumed pulling you across the parking lot. "Let's get going, maybe the food Seonghwa-hyung made will still be warm when we get there and–"

"Wait!" You tugged on the hand that held yours harshly, making him stop to look back at you with a raised brow. "But... no funny business. Please."

He let out another high pitched laugh. "Oh, YN, my dearest darling YN, I don't plan on doing anything like that with you. Today, at least. Though if you'd like-"

"No!" You extended a hand to stop him from finishing that sentence, cheeks blushing dark crimson. "Please just- just lead the way."

That specific mischievous grin returned to his face as he whipped around and practically skipped to his black Mercedes with tinted windows. You didn't stop to appreciate the car, getting into the passengers seat and strapping the seatbelt on.

　　[ lilo's notes ... ] hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter!! any guess as to who the ateez member is that YN likes more than the others? hint: it's not wooyoung. also, i'm basing each of the mebers' looks off of different eras. in case you couldn't tell, we will be dealing with oreo wooyoung here.

　　ଘ(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ taglist ... @atinytinaa @marievllr-abg @legohwas @moonsangie @kiss-hwa @cqndiedcherries @ateezourstars @r1kitti @sarahleighflora @kyukyustar

　　NEVER SAY NEVER　©　seonghwaddict, 2023

[blade-ranger-301]

Sorry about the bots!! I have the same problem on my main and side blogs. 🥲

So here is a normal question for ya! What are some of your favorite Blade HCs?

Ah glad I'm not the only one. They're so annoying 😭

And thank you for the ask! Means a lot and I'd love to be able to interact with others about our OC's and headcanons

I have a few of my own personal HC's for the angry helo 🚁:

- British. Despite the Planes 2 film being set in the US (I'm assuming), I'm writing my own fanfiction which is basically my own version of the film with added OC's, and it's set in the UK JUST for the sole reason that I can write Blade as a Brit 🇬🇧 (I have another post that support this lore: land, fire statistics, etc)

If Blade was British, he'd be from Northern or North-Western England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 He's got that vibe in him: Typical working-class, an unmatched taste in humour, down to earth, sarcastic, takes no shit, stubborn and incredibly stoic (especially this), and I would imagine he would swear.. a lot

I think another reason why this is fun for me is that I can show other non-UK followers what the UK is really like. None of that London aesthetics shit. Idk how others view my country but whenever you look at ✨️UK aesthetic✨️ pics online, it's either London or cute little countryside cottages. A lot of photos and posts on social media perceive the whole of the UK as one big "London" island. Blade is none of that, and I think it'll be fun to see what he brings to the table 🇬🇧

- another HC is that he's best friends with Bravo and Echo. I've not yet explored how he meets and befriends them

- Blade occasionally drinks on the job. Not intense drinking, but Maru would definitely make him a glass or two to prevent him from going on a rage induced murder spree on everyone when he's in one of his bad moods. It's even hinted in the film when Maru sarcastically replies to Cad via radio "Oh, he's out back sipping a Motojito". So Blade's definitely having a few cheeky mojito cocktails on the sly whilst on duty. Maybe that's why he's sometimes so calm and chill in the movie XDDD

- The biggest HC I'm exploring is a big self-insert in Blade's past. Nick is alive so there's a reason why he leaves filming, but he's dealt with another traumatic experience in the past.

For the entirety of 2024, I've been dealing with the aftermath of a best friend breakup. In all 24 years of life, this is probably the worst BFF trainwreck I've experienced to date. That person is also a member of the LM community (not here) and have since replaced me with a new best friend also in the LM community. So this year I've been processing the up's and down's in my mental health. It's been 1 year since it happened, and I'm still not the same and it still affects me, but I've survived and maybe I've come a long way since but it doesn't feel like it - but I'll keep on trudging forward *keep calm and carry on Brit energy 🇬🇧✨️*

I'm planning on Blade going through the same 'best friend betrayal' ordeal because I think that maybe this will help me in some way. Due to this event, Blade will be affected badly and will become depressed, withdrawn, melancholic and angry, and will actively isolate himself from his team and others. When my heli OC Toni comes along, she'll have a hard time earning his trust, but with time, patience and Maru's help, she will eventually break through his shell and he'll be a much happier character in future and they'll become a couple.

I'm not sure how the timeline and scenes will pan out, but I use quotes to take notes and ideas for now, but I struggle with motivation and creativity often. But I'm going to get the Planes 2 fanfic out the way before I can worry about this one XD

But anyways thank you for letting me ramble and I hope you all enjoyed the read ☺️

[film-score-simp]

OKAY FOOLS HOW YALL DOING IM BACK AFTER BEING DEAD FOR LIKE MONTHS-

See, I had a Thought which the Merlin fandom might be interested in. Especially the fanfic writers.

I was browsing Pinterest, as you do, and stumbled across a few tumblr posts instead of actually looking on the site… again, as you do.

And I came to a fun idea.

So y’know how with some pieces of fantasy media they go ‘oh with the amount of stupidity here this is totally a D&D game’?

Well… that, but Merlin.

Like we already have scenes that would totally fit the bill of a D&D game. The whole scene with old Merlin and the knights with the stepping stool onto the horse is just so unbelievably D&D, and I can imagine the scene with the “..reading poetry.” as just real bad persuasion/deception rolls from both Merlin AND Arthur.

Just imagine the chaos.

Here are my personal headcanons for their classes, but feel free to debate about it:

Merlin: Sorcerer. This man is too much of an idiot to be a wizard (though he DOES get hurt enough to be one), and I reckon being a wild magic sorcerer would totally fit the bill. He’s powerful, but hijinks must ensue- thus, the wild magic. Or perhaps not. People might assume it’s wild magic and turns out it’s just Merlin thinking he’s funny.

Arthur: Bard. Immediately. He’s got paladin energy as in like the ‘Chosen One’ and also he’s a knight, but he’s so stupid and also charismatic that he just gives bard to me. Like he’s so stupid and charismatic with literally everything, that Merlin ended up liking him. Like this man is a himbo that dresses brightly.

Morgana: Absolutely a warlock. She would have so much fun with eldritch blast, and being weird and spooky totally fits her vibe later in the series. She would probably be the one to sometimes have the braincell in the party and use her magic responsibly… but also eldritch blast. You gotta use eldritch blast-

Mordred: I don’t think he has chill enough vibes for the druid stereotype, but he definitely could be a druid. Giving funky nature powers to this kid would really be a hilarious idea. Like imagine Mordred with wild shape. I also think he has the possibility of being the Dionysus kind of druid… y’know, the greek god who turned people into dolphins just because? Yeah, him.

Gwaine: Barbarian. Or fighter. He may be a knight, sure, but with the amount of bar brawls he gets into? Absolutely. The fool definitely would fist fight someone in a dark alleyway at 2AM, it’s just what he’s like. He likes to hit people and drink alcohol- it just fits his whole MO.

Percival: Also a barbarian. His entire thing is strength, and the ‘little man’ comment just screams of a man with high intimidation. He may be a gentle giant and not going for the whole stereotype of angry rage beast, but this guy can totally scare without it.

Lancelot: Lancelot is a paladin. He’s the very epitome of ‘Good Boy.’ This guy is such a Righteous knight and just a generally cool person that I think that a god straight up WOULD get in contact to have him fight for the forces of good. I love this man so much. I also love paladins. Perfect combo.

Elyan: Elyan’s a cleric. He’s caring and loyal, as well as not bullying Merlin regularly. He’s also pretty cunning so possibly rogue there as well? I’d be more inclined to lean towards cleric the most though, cause he’s one of the most chill knights and also balances out the chaos of Gwaine and Percival as a duo… they’re nuts-

Leon: Also a paladin. Less of a ‘pure and true soul’ guy like Lancelot, but more of a ‘stands for what’s right and upholds the law’ kind of paladin. Like he’s totally a follower of chivalry with all the traditional ways of doing things- always respectful and polite but just kinda a little at arms length.

Guinevere: Stereotypical druid. Totally a tree-hugger and loves plants. Also she gets to be a Disney princess now and talk to animals in forests. Living out her best life in the forest with her whole cottagecore aesthetic. Even with her becoming queen, she’s totally still a druid. Albeit a royal one now.

Gaius: Oh he’s so gonna be an artificer. But specifically an alchemist artificer. He can make healing potions and mix weird medicines together, sure, but jesus christ the old man gets into just as many shenanigans as the main group. I mean, the whole possession fiasco with the goblin is enough proof for that-

(And before anyone tells me a character’s missing, it’s been a while since I watched the series, I’m trying my best hhhh-)

[thatsparrow]

post-honor among thieves thoughts

a delight!!

truly, a fun fantasy film with all the right blends of serious stakes and goofy missteps that is so emblematic of playing dnd

one of the things I was most curious about going into it was—given that so much of dnd is a) collaborative storytelling and b) ultimately determined by dice rolls, how would those elements of unpredictability translate to a scripted story? (which I suppose is not new to dnd-based media, there have been novels and the 80s show, but those aren't things that I've consumed.) and like. yes the story was pretty predictable overall, but I did like that there were moments of abject failure scattered throughout that really captured the vibe of rolling a nat 1 (it was also very fun to half-watch it through a lens of, oh, this person would be rolling a deception check right now. this person is succeeding then failing on a bunch of acrobatics checks, etc.)

it is. so very fun to me that bards are categorically also spellcasters, and yet they did not let chris pine do one damn magical thing, that lute was a melee weapon only

michelle rodriguez barbarian my beloved (also like, in terms of balancing references to the game with still making the movie accessible, part of me was expecting/hoping to see some visual indication of her going into a rage, but I did like that they didn't tip the hand quite that much while still making clear during fight scenes that, oh, she definitely has some rage-fueled strength right now that is allowing her to yeet a dude across a courtyard)

seeing all the spells and wildshaping was incredibly fucking cool!! that may have been the bit I was most excited about, and it did not disappoint—doric's whole infiltration and then escape of the castle was so good. the displacer beasts. the mimics!

sir that's just a portal gun

the comp het was so funny. look, I really loved both justice smith and sophia lillis but cmon guys. there was nothing there

although speaking of, edgin and holga as determinedly platonic best friends raising a child together was an absolute delight—the bit when edgin says to kira like 'I'm not trying to bring back your mom but my wife' bc yeah!! kira's mom is already right there!!

halfling bradley cooper having a clear type of 'women twice my size who could break me in half' is so valid

god paladin regé-jean page be still my heart (although yeah, the paladin as a straight-laced LG humorless type is not the only way to interpret the class, but I thought it did make for a nice contrast w the rest of the party)

but also his armor! I thought the costumers did a great job of giving them all designs/looks that spoke to their classes. truly, the visuals of the whole movie were so cool—not just in terms of the aesthetics, but the framing and movement of the shots, too. very dynamic, very fun to watch

overall, a genuinely good time!!

[katesprocessblog]

Week #1

Introduction

In class I had explored the topics of Belonging, Movies, and the Uncanny Valley. After doing the mind mapping exercise, I decided that for this week I will explore the idea of belonging and nostalgia in unsettling media. I don't have a particular destination in mind with my research, so for this week I want to expand upon those ideas and just go wherever the internet took me.

Research

Beetlejuice (1988)

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024)

With the sequel coming out, I thought it would be interesting to rewatch the original which I haven’t seen since I was a kid and then watch the new one in theaters. After watching them both as well as looking into the reception of the new movie, I realized how Tim Burton occupies a very niche place in Hollywood. And I think it makes sense to research him because I guess I am interested in exploring things that are unsettling, but I am not a fan of typical horror.

What I found out was that Burton got his start as a Disney Animator but slowly transitioned towards things that were more “spooky”. Here’s a list of all of the spooky movies he’s done: Beetlejuice, Sleepy Hollow, Frankenweenie, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, Hansel and Gretel, Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and more. Looking into his background, Burton grew up in Burbank, California. Burton said that growing up there left him deprived of seasonal change, and the spooky holiday was a time he could experience that without actually having it.

Now knowing his background, it makes sense that most of his work is about a young outsider “suspicious of adulthood's normalcy”. I loved learning about his work. Going into this I actually was not a fan of Beetlejuice. I just thought it was too creepy as a child, but being able to look back as an adult now I was able to relate a lot more to the themes behind the films. While researching him, I also checked out some work from an art exhibit of his. I think the aesthetic in Beetlejuice is not for me, but I enjoy some of his other work a lot more.

"Untitled (Ramone)," 1980-1990.

"Untitled (Romeo and Juliet)," 1981-1984. 

Room of installations at the Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA

I Saw The TV Glow (2024)

Another movie my research made me think about was I Saw The TV Glow.

The director Jane Schoenbrun uses nostalgia and horror tropes to portray the feeling of queerness but that can be expanded to feeling alienated in general as a kid. In the movie, the main character Owen is introduced to this one show that he becomes obsessed with called the Pink Opaque. We see many clips from it throughout the movie. There’s a really powerful scene near the end of the movie where many years later he rewatched an episode from the show and it looks nothing like it used to be. It was far more childish. I think the movie really captures the feeling of rewatching something and your perception of that media being completely different from what you had in your mind. Sometimes a memory of something from your childhood persists far past the actual thing itself if that makes sense.

Don't Hug me I'm Scared

Salad Fingers 3: Nettles

Going down a bit of a nostalgia trip, I remembered some videos on YouTube that went viral when I was younger. I remembered how my brother liked to show me things like Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared and Salad Fingers because he always liked to freak me out and scare me.

These series were huge for my generation and they tap into this like collective cultural fear of unsettling dangerous things that are hiding “beneath the facade of normality”. It goes into the idea of the uncanny valley, the phenomenon whereby nonhuman objects or creatures’ resemblance to a human creates a feeling of unease and fear. You definitely feel this when watching these videos, where the characters depicted are seemingly harmless because they’re 2D or animated and resembling kids toys that should be safe. But then it devolves into a more sinister world and nature. While these examples don’t go super deep into a meaning or explanation, I thought it was a good starting point due to their huge popularity.

Other Sources

DeSalvo , Robert. “Exploring Tim Burton’s World of Outsiders and Misfits.” AV Club, www.avclub.com/tim-burtons-world-of-troubled-misfits-1850735603.

Southern California Public Radio. “Last Chance to See Tim Burton’s LACMA Exhibit.” Southern California Public Radio, 14 Oct. 2012, https://archive.laist.com/programs/madeleine-brand/2011/10/31/21195/talking-with-tim-burton-lacma-exhibit-winds-down/.

“‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.’” Spotify, The Big Picture, 6 Sept. 2024, open.spotify.com/episode/4vC26kGPTqJmboI8nJIZ1E?si=0968e62393964919.

Reflections

I think I explored some really interesting ideas pertaining to the topics that I started with. I like how this eventually led to where I am now. I also like how a lot of the media I watched and researched centered around the idea of not belonging and the feeling of being alienated. Going forward I’m not sure if I want to continue down such a creepy path and I might explore the topic of belonging through a different lens.

[xtrablak674]

Finding Your Tribe

Initially I had come across the image during my morning Tumblr'ing, and as I was wont to do I was doing a reverse image search to find a higher quality version of the image. I mean if I am going to download smut, better have a good-looking version of said smut. During my search I had come across the young man's Twitter account and prayed to my goddess that I wouldn't have to scroll long to get to the image I was looking for.

The thing about scrolling through someone's social media is you get a sense of the person, even if it's a highly curated and polished version. Its the version that they would like the world to see. One thing that became immediately apparent to me is that this curly-haired light-eyed sort of middling looking young man had found his tribe.

His "friends", because I am not sure what the kids are calling them these days, especially when the lines between plutonic and sexual were so clearly blurred, were clearly of the same tribe. Young people and others who had similar sexual interest and also loved documenting their merry-making in photographs, gifs and videos. Celebrating their lust and loves in a very public fashion. It had me very curious what these misfits did for work, because clearly they didn't care that their faces with dick in mouth were on very open display for all to see.

I could map the similar aesthetic between them, artsy but alternative, definitely not the main-stream gays that colour places like Chelsea but the on-the-edge queers who would exist in places like Bushwick barely boarding on being hipsters but divergent enough to be their own sub-genre of gay. Whereas a Manhattan gay may brag about wearing Prada and Louis Vuitton these ones would thrive in a new piece thrifted at L Train Vintage, never caring for those luxury brands but finding solace in their grandfather's old boots or jacket, paired with their grandma's pearls.

After watching the twelfth episode of Tracker last night where Colter finally met up with his wayward and possibly murderous older brother Russell, this made me think of the last time I had a tribe to speak of. And it would be back when my mom was still alive and I lived with my two younger siblings. It was the only time in my life I had a true connection to someone else around me, and albeit after her passing and our separation I would never truly find anything remotely the same.

In college I had a "crew" of sort largely based around the terraces where I lived my freshman year at this private college in upstate New York. They were gay, like I was at the time, some were lower-class like I thought I was, and would only later find out I was actually middle-class. None were of color, which then made me a novelty of sorts. I recall quite often being quizzed about how to use the language these upper-class queers had just learned from Jennie Livingston's infamous documentary Paris is Burning.

Ms. Trevor how do I say FIERCE? And what exactly is shade? Girl, teach me how to vogue! I mean I did my best to hobble together bits an pieces from my short-lived foray in the queer culture of New York City, which I had only really begin to explore the peaks of in my last two years in high school right in the middle of Manhattan. But this didn't feel exactly like my tribe, I seemed to be torn between allegiance to the HEOP Black kids on campus and the LGBT queer kids, not totally fitting in with either because of either class, orientation, how I preformed gender or how I performed race.

Post-college I continued the activism I had started moving into HIV/AIDS education through GMHC. Joining their youth program which was made up of primarily of other post-college kids but unlike upstate was more diverse having more woman, Black and people of color in its ranks. I can say I felt a connection to these young people as we tried our best to educate others our age and younger about how to navigate the complexities of trying to stay safe while being a young queer.

I have always had very mixed feelings about work relationships and albeit there are some people I met at my first advertising agency job that I would connect with an be friends with years after I left that company. I am not sure any of those relationship had a tribal feel to them.

My next significant connections would be to small or micro-business owners I had associated with through a non-profit that was out to help us with micro-loans. I was never really interested in the loans having long had an aversion to debt, but I did like the fellowship with the mostly Black business owners and using my own brand design business to help these folks out, at least with the visual aspects of their own brands.

But like all things that passed too.

The last fifteen years I have been a loner, most of my friendships drifting a part for one reason or another. I even stopped dating and then sexual relations too. It is a popular platitude to say to young people that you will find your tribe, I just haven't found that to be true. It has felt like all throughout my life I have had to partition pieces of myself to be accepted in certain areas. Even my fifteen year stay on Flickr seemed to be primarily based on folks sexual desires towards me, not really seeing me as a whole but just parts of a whole.

At this point I have let it all go, and find solace and comfort in my own company or in having parasocial relationships with the characters in my comics, books or television shows. If a tribe is a thing, its a thing that has always eluded me, maybe my not being able to compromise my values to 'group think' and allow folks to make me feel less than I am has not allowed me to assimilate into a group dynamic. Maybe my strong sense of self and moral aptitude and not ever being one to succumb to peer pressure or other ill-conceived notions has left me adrift. I am not sure I will ever understand how to be a part of a group.

My nephew was talking to me last week about this group chat, and I thought I have never been in anyone group anything. Even my attempts to start them have failed, like the group I created on Facebook for my fellow grand jury members. I thought we had an amazing eighteen month together, but I think afterwards we became the strangers that we were before. This has been the rhythm of my life since my mom died and I truly don't think it will ever change, and curiously I am okay with that.

Albeit our society loves to preach about how important relationships with others are I have found I think the most important relationship you can have is one with yourself, one unbound by pretense, pretensions and falsehoods. One unencumbered by expectations, animosity and aggression. One that lies in seeing who you are and appreciating all aspect of whom that person is and what they bring to the table never asking them to select which pieces are the most suitable for acceptance. But embracing, loving and encouraging them to come as they are and be welcomed.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

[smokeringsofmemory]

Hey ladies just popping in bc I have been seeing waaaaay too much content on “high value men” on my already narrowed + selective media platforms, so I just wanna drop a few things here:

Looking fantastic won’t put you in the same class. -This is a lesson that I learned inadvertently, and then explicitly when I realized that those around me who came from well-to-do backgrounds or Ivy-League universities were looking for someone to match their lifestyle— not just aesthetically, but intellectually as well. I’m not just saying “read a lot of books”; there is a cultural fluency that is expected (even if it’s entitled) that they expect you to know (and definitely respect!!!!!) in their spaces. Please don’t be too enamored with the high-quality man who might notice your pretty face, take you out, and then not speak to you again— or only expect sex. These men will step out of their statuses for flings but not for futures.

Yes: family matters. And I think it’s really sad and unfortunate and *extraordinarily unfair* but the reality is that they want to know where and from who you come from. I’ve seen this to be the case because those in good social standing rely on the continuation and support of that to happen with whoever they decide to bring home/marry. I know that insane/awful/devious stuff happens to rich people too, but if they feel as though your family isn’t a “fit” then it might be a bust.

They expect you to know what you’re getting yourself into. I’m in a very loving relationship right now and although I’m not dating anymore, this lesson still stays with me— and I oftentimes share it to warn my girlfriends. *The top 10% of men know that you’re competing to have them, and they’re moving accordingly.* So I ask you: if this is the tier that’s in your vicinity and that you’re looking to date, mark your priorities. A faithful man can be hard to find, *but a faithful man making 6 figures and up*? Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t stick around and/or expects the world from you. These men do believe that they have the world to give, and many women treat them as such. A faithful man was my biggest non-negotiable, and I started realizing just how insane the numbers are. Call it misogyny or whatever you want, but if you want high-value men, you’ve got to be top of your game. You should take excellent care of yourself (non-negotiable), have great characteristics, and know that men who want you will do anything for you. There’s no need to worry about that.

Many men won’t keep their word. One of my girlfriends said to me: “I’d pay you $100 to date an American.” I’m black + my man is Kurdish, but my pattern of dating Eastern European men has long since been established… but anyways, something that would make me insane would be men who wouldn’t keep their word with me. I found it traumatic. I found it condescending. But more often than not, I KNEW THAT IF HE DIDN’T KEEP HIS WORD FOR HIMSELF THAT HE MOST CERTAINLY WOULDN’T KEEP IT WITH ME. Ladies: pay attention. If a man commits to something, he’ll follow through. Even if it’s hard, even if it takes time… he’ll make it happen. These are the men who will make you feel safest and re-assured. Why? *Most women associate money with stability and security and most men find it burdensome.* The men who find it burdensome are typically the ones who have (or have had) a lot of it and know the hardship it can bring: such as everyone expecting so much more out of you (including women). It’s a weird thing that men have explained to me, and I can tell that having money makes them even wearier of women, but *know that men who can exhibit his abilities to commit to his word is a man who can yield you the safety and protection you are looking for and also propel you and him both into the life of your dreams.* -That’s all for now, ta-ta ladies!!! xoxoxo

[garrettwrites]

Hi, how's it going? Anything new and exciting in your life?

I see you're obsessed with vampires, who are your favourites? 👀

Sorry for the 3day delay I had to think on this. Picking favourites is hard. Reminder that I welcome all sorts of asks! Especially vampire and Worldbuilding ones!

Life's hard, gotta study the hell out of roman fish productions while simultaneously making art for social media and my portfolio, but what's life without a little stress.

Onto your question (which I ended up rambling on, sorry), lore wise I have two absolute favourite pieces of vampire media:

VtM: Bloodlines (2004 game). My love. I like how they write vampires and set their powers, clan divisions and hierarchies. The aesthetic of the game is also early 2000s late 90s, which is nostalgic. It's more fantastical than straight forward, a vampire DnD in fact, so it offers a lot of liberty and flexibility for whatever story you want to tell. It also works well as inspiration for original works, since the more you look into it the more you can pick what to use for your own vampire stories.

Second one is the netflix series Vampires (2020). It's french. It is an... incredibly fresh take on vampires. The series unfortunately only has one season with six episodes. It follows the life of this poor vampire family, but the twist is that vampirism is biological and vampires are born as such, and can die of old age (they just age much slower). Their weaknesses, their biology, their social structures and the way the series explores them through the eyes of a teenage girl slowly coming into her vampire disease (because it is kind of an illness), the way the series IS NOT AFRAID of pushing forward extremely embarrassing moments (such as the girl, still unable to control herself, biting the boy she loves IN CLASS and being viewed as a weirdo for it - refreshing when many writers are afraid of such realistic moments due to how cringe they may come across as for general audiences.... It's pretty solid. The scenes with the girl's mother walking into the sun covered in scarves and pieces of cloth is also really good, more series should do that - makes sense that a vampire would still go outside during the day, they'd just need to look absolutely out of place while doing it. Which they should. Vampires don't belong in daylight.

Honorable mention: Interview with the Vampire. Of course. Especially the new TV series. I love the psychological exploration of vampirism in there. However, I think the series is good because of the characters themselves rather than the blood sucking of it all. Vampire wise I don't care much for the lore, it is there to solidify the fact they're all monsters.

Extra 2: Unironically? I know this might sound cringe, but if you ignore the main storyline and exclusively look at the lore... Vampire Diaries is kinda good. The writers clearly did their research and included ideas from all over the world in their social structures, vampiric powers, etc. One of my favourite aspects is how they utilise the concept of "vampries can't enter a house without consent" to its absolute fullest. There's even a character who is turned into a vampire, and gets locked out of his own home because he lives alone and no one is in there to allow him in. Hilarious.

CHARACTER WISE...

Lestat is definitely one of my all time favourites. He symbolizes what a vampire should be for me, but is still multi faceted enough to be a person rather than a caricature.

Olrox from Castlevania: Nocturne (animated series). I miss drawing him. I wrote two whole ass fanfics about him, but they were romantic rather than focused exclusively on him.... A shame. I think he's pretty interesting. Depending on where Nocturne goes, he might surpass Lestat in the future. He's charming, but dangerous. Tragic yet with a chance of rising above the rubble. He's also native american, and possibly a god - all really fresh concepts. I really love Olrox. Top tier vampire dude, sorry Alucard but you're just not as cool.

Talking about Castlevania... Carmilla. She's not even that original as a character, but she's what people nowadays call a "Girlboss" except she's actually well written. You feel for her. You love her. You hate her. And she's a vampire that knows she's a monster and wants to keep being one. None of that "oh naur I'm immortal but must... commit the sin of drinking blood" bullshit. She, much like Olrox, steals every scene she's in.

Jonathan Reid from Vampyr (2018 game). A very... text intensive game. But I like reading, so I don't mind. He's a doctor, and was a soldier during WW1. He's the main character of the game and you can take his path in multiple directions. He's a favourite of mine because I like the concept of a doctor vampire, plus I genuinely love Vampyr.

The cast of The Lost Boys. No explanation needed,

Least favourite vampire: Astarion because 1) he took over my dash, can't talk about vampires anymore without that man being there and 2) people can't tag his fucking name properly and I'm over here trying to find minotaur content (AstErion) and I see that kind of muscular kinda lean white haired small fangs elf taking over the tags. Please people. Learn how to tag.

[therk900]

🎄December TC Challenge (Day 1-31)🎄

1. Have you ever had any TCs before? If yes, describe them very briefly Yes. I have 4. S is tall and really cute. He is one of the kindest people you will ever meet. B is taller than me but not as tall as S and is handsome. He is there when you need him and he is so lovely. M is so fun he teaches. A is just so sweet and adorable.

2. What is the main thing that attracted you to them? Their personality and looks

3. In an ideal world where you’re similar ages, they’re not your teacher and they return your feelings, how far would you like your relationship with them to go? (Friends, dating, marriage., etc.) MARRIAGE ALL THE WAY 

4. How much of your attraction to them is sexual, romantic, platonic, aesthetic or admiration? Great question for my birthday! i guess in a romantic way

5. Have you found them on social media? If yes, have any of their posts caught your attention? I have found S and M on lots of different social media pages but it’s all private. I haven’t told both of them yet that I have found them. I may ask to follow them when I graduate though. i am still on the hunt to find A & B's social media. i know they have it!

6. What is one song that makes you instantly think of your TC? A song that reminds me of B is “here with me” by d4vd. For S, that song would be “Enchanted” by Taylor Swift. For A, maybe “Hard for me” by Charley. For M, it would be “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers

7. At this current moment in time, what is your relationship like and how close to them are you? With S, we are SO FUCKING CLOSE to the point that I know I can’t turn back now. With B, We are close but not as close as S and I. M and i are also really tight! It's the same with A

8. If they hugged you, how do you think you would react? I would definitely hug them back while my heart would be absolutely melting, and i would be going feral

9. Have they ever said or done anything which gave you the ick? S decided to cut and bleach his hair at the start of the school year. My friend didn’t even recognise him. That didn’t stop me loving him though since it's back to normal now!

10. How do other students generally see your TC? Are they well liked or seen to be disliked a lot? S, M and B are liked by students. Some students even give S nicknames (This includes me. I have a little nickname for S and I call him by it all the time. He doesn't mind at all!). If A taught at my school, i'm guessing he would also be liked by students!

11. Have you ever felt jealous when you saw them with another student? If so, why? No. I know it's their job to help other students

12. How do you think they see you? Do they appear to have a good opinion of you? Hopefully they all see me in a positive light. They have a good option of me, I think. A said that i was his favourite student. i also think that M sees me as a good student since i participate in his class lots!

13. If your TC had to teach something else, what subject would you choose for them? I feel like B would teach Humanities and S seems like the guy to teach some sort of art subject

14. What do you think a typical evening looks like for them? S plays a sport outside of school on some nights, so he plays that then goes home to do some marking or chill. For B, I think it would consist of him marking work. A seems like the type of person who would go to a bar sometimes with his mates. M may just be sleeping or spending time with his family

15. Has your TC taken any holidays which you know about? If yes, where did they go and what did they do? I know that S recently went to Tokyo. I think he went to Disneyland while he was there. I recommend that he went there during Halloween since it’s all Halloween themed. He also went to Cairns in Australia. He visited the Great Barrier Reef which he said was really cool!

16. If you got the opportunity to have a date with them, where would you go and what would you do together? B: Going down to the beach when there is a sunset S: Out to a fancy restaurant most likely A: Watching a movie at a cinema M: Chill out at a park maybe

17. What’s the weirdest dream you’ve had about them? this is the weirdest one i've had so far, i guess. So, S and I were somehow riding a Penny-farthing together and we went to this massive fair thing. I then saw a teacher I had for 2 years in one of the tents. He yelled “what’s that?” While running over to it. He ran behind a wall of a tent and then I yelled “there’s this instead” while pulling out a pineapple. He crazily ran back while grabbing it. He then walked out as if nothing happened. Later on, we witnessed B fall down a MASSIVE staircase and just walked off like nothing happened like the other teacher. S and I wondered how in the world he didn’t die. Then we just chilled out for the rest of the time and sadly that's where the dream ended

18. What do they usually sit like while teaching? S sits with his back completely straight and his legs closed while he is mostly on his laptop doing work. B was more chill. He leaned back in the chair and sometimes his legs would be open a tiny bit. A is kind of similar to B, but the only difference is that we sit closer together! He also does the leg bounce thing like i do! I personally haven't seen M sit down that much while teaching since he is always up and about, but i have seen it once. He usually leans in while he lets his head rest on his hand!

19. If known, how long have they been teaching for? B taught at my school for 2 years and S has teaching for 3 years. M has been doing it for 4 years at my school.

20. Have you got any pictures of them? If yes, how did you get them? i have got pictures of all of them and I get them from our school website and social media pages

21. If you could tell them one thing with no limits, what would it be? i would tell them all that i like them!

22. How are you dealing with your feelings for them? Are you pulling away or getting closer to them? I’m getting closer with them in some way. But now that B is gone, i feel like i'm semi pulling away from him, but there will still be that part of me that will still like him

23. If you heard your TC was now famous, what do you think it would be for? For B, he may be working in politics. For S, maybe a scientist and maybe curing something. A and M would most likely both be mathematicians

24. If you could get them anything as a Christmas gift, what would you choose and why? I would most likely buy chocolate for all of them, since you can't go wrong with that 99% of the time.

25. Does your TC like Christmas? Merry Christmas everyone! I’m pretty sure they all like Christmas!

26. If known, what are your TCs political beliefs? I have no idea about their political beliefs

27. Does your TC set much homework? B and S did set a tiny bit of homework. M kind of did! A doesn't

28. Do you know if any other student has a crush on your TC? I’m HOPING that no other student likes them the way I do 

29. Is your TC currently dating anyone to your knowledge? Well, i know that M is married. i'm not sure of the others

30. If your TC was a colour, what colour would they be and why? B would be green because green is a calm colour and B is calm 99% of the time, and green is known to be a calming colour. I feel like A, M and S would be yellow because they are bright!

31. In the new year, how would you like your TCs class to progress?  In a positive way, I guess

[sadgirllbbadgirl]

Process Note (part 1)

This time around researching for me was way more specific and tedious compared to last time during the creation of the podcast script. At that time I used articles that you had linked for us and since I was familiar with them and the concepts they had I used them thinking it would be easier to speak about my idea. This time around I found that I almost had more flexibility because of the fact that I found articles directly pertaining to my specific idea. My idea didn't really change as I mentioned I wanted to stick with the same idea but dive deeper into it. What was helpful about the scholarly articles was that it made it easier for me to understand the breakdown between certain negative emotions and mental illnesses that people experience and the link artists are creating between the two. Unfortunately I did struggle quite a bit with finding scholarly articles and had a tough time trying to not only understand what the difference is between a scha;rly article and a typical magazine or news outlet article. This is due to absences that caused me to miss out on informational class work. Because of that it definitely held me back from completing this project sooner than later. Thankfully I was able to find out and emerge myself to distinguish what a scholarly article is but still unaware of how to find out how to know if it is peer reviewed. When it came to locating visual text I went to a website that I'm familiar with, that being pinterest. I know they hold this angsty and aesthetic collection of images somewhere on the site so it was my job to find them. I had searched into the search engine sadness, sad girls, and glamorization so see what exactly come up. It took some digging for the first two images. I think they do make the theme of glamorization quite well though. As they are alms directly doing that highlighting this emotion of sadness in a  literal glamorous way. Upon submitting my draft a new note of the tv series Euphoria was mentioned. It made me want to not only try to find new articles about the media and also how they play into sad girl troupes but also help find additional visual texts. The next time I began looking for images I wanted to see if I could pull any from the television series. I searched for euphoria on Pinterest and came across the next two images which I think also fit well. Since I also know the stories behind the two of their characters and they’re life predicaments it adds onto this idea I speak about which can be more relatable or understandable to the audience in my tumblr post. Attached one of the photos I included a link to a youtube video. That was the exact clip that the image was taken and I think it gives an additional understanding and context to the image. It really shows the distress that the Euphoria character Maddie was facing how even through the front she puts on in the show of this content popular girl she is even in sad situations as we all are. However, like I mentioned, since her character is this popular perfect girl in times of sadness she's still surrounded by this fabulous pink room in sad moments like this. Almost glamorizing this feeling of pretty girl sadness. Now when it came to creating my drawing for this project it was a bit spontaneous. It's not a style that I'm familiar with and it was quite the quiet drawing so I don't think I executed it to the best of my abilities either . But I was trying to show a girl who is visibly sad or upset with these flowing tears drawn coming down from her eyes but also around the page. I wanted it to hold similar ideas as the visual text I picked but it came out a bit confusing to me.

[zongyiwang]

Week11 Summative Preparation

 The official definition of "Manifesto" is a written statement that declares the intention, motives and views of the issuer.For designers, manifestos help us to translate our design believes into words. This reminds me of the week 2 topics of CTS B: This Is How You Connect Theory and Practice, where we learn to connect our identity with design, because we are using our own voices to express what we believe in. Below is a picture of our group’s manifesto

The one that says “Your Surroundings Are Free Inspiration” is very true, because for a designer, the best inspirations are hidden in our daily life. For example, during the summer holiday, I was travelling in a city called Yushu, it is a Tibetan region, so there are a lot of beautiful patterns that have Tibetan characteristics, just like this one:

The style of the patterns are very inspiring, so I decided to use a similar style to my own project.

 If I were to change our groups’ manifesto, I would remove the parts where it says “We design useful things”. Just after class today, I was involved in an argument with a designer on social media. Our argument was about “ Does design always need to be meaningful?” My statement was yes, but the designer had refuted me with an example of meaningless design from a Japanese designer: Kenya Hara. Almost all of his designs communicate an idea of “ the beauty of meaningless things”. If we look at the elements of his designs, we might think they are simple and boring. Below is an example of his poster design for Muji.

When we look at the elements of this poster, we might get confused by the character in the middle because although it looks aesthetic, it doesn’t have any meaning, and the only element that is meaningful is probably the text. But on the other hand,“meaningless” is also the idea that Kenya Hara is trying to communicate through his works, and his works are successful because of the unique style and the way he communicates the concept with his style . Therefore I would change the manifesto from “We design meaningful things” to “ We design communicative things'', and I would like to add another manifesto based on this one, which is “Be inclusive to any forms of designs”. This is my own manifesto, the reason for choosing this as my manifesto is because I believe that by accepting different forms of designs, it will not only open my views to the wider design world( such as the example of Kenya Hara, I didn’t know him in the first place), but also help me to adapt to different customer needs. For now, my lecturers are my customers, every semester we will have a different lecturer, therefore by being inclusive to any forms of designs can help me to understand what my lecturer is looking for. For example, in Image and Materiality, we have a different lecturer this term. I remember showing my lecturer what I did for the UIUX for Digital Skills, and he told me to change the typography because he thinks it is too simple and boring, and he showed me this website that has a lot of fancy typography and told me to use one of it. I showed him my collage as well, and he told me to add in a grain layer, because he thinks my college is too clean.  From there I understand what style he is interested in, and I start to know what style I should apply to my summative submission. 

(596)

“Definition of Manifesto.” Merriam-Webster Dictionary, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/manifesto#:~:text=manifesto%20%5Cman%2Duh%2DFESS,or%20views%20of%20its%20issuer.

“把无聊发挥到极致的，除了原研哉，还有他？_康广_铃木_作品.” Copyright © 2017 Sohu.com Inc. All Rights Reserved., www.sohu.com/a/571616484_611151.

[mariel-mallana]

Waist Over Mind

Philippine Beauty Standards

What is beauty? Beauty is different in every person. We appreciate the beauty in different ways, but when we set our definition of beauty in a standard, that's when insecurities and discriminations begin. Beauty standards in the Philippines are changing. We can't deny the fact that we are influenced by other countries' standards, mostly Americans and Koreans.. Filipinos usually tend to imitate other countries' fashion and trends. As I have observed over the past years and up until now, our beauty standards are to have fair skin, a skinny body for both sexes, , a pointed nose, straight hair, and a lot more aesthetics.

Having a skinny body is a big deal in the country. Many people lose their confidence because they are bullied and judged about how their body looks. If you're too skinny, people will still judge you. But most people that are being discriminated are those who are fat or gaining so much weight.

Growing up, I used to not care about how my body looked, but because of the people or celebrities I saw, I set my standards too high. It affected my mental health, and I felt so conscious. I tend to always look at how many calories of the food I eat and have the mindset that I can gain weight by eating. I have observed many people attempting to conform to beauty standards. They tried many products they didn't know were unhealthy and dangerous. You will never notice, but one day you will wake up and want to be skinny like K-pop idols and cry if you fail. You begin to build insecurities and set your standards too high, to the point that you also begin to judge other people around you. Setting too many standards is like putting gas on the fire; everything will make you struggle, especially loving yourself.

- Mallana

Insecurities and Discrimination About Weight

Ever since I was a kid and until now,

For my 20 years of existence, I have experienced and still experiencing discrimination from other people because of my weight, and my insecurities have grown bigger and bigger. Being big is not unusual in my family since it is in our genes to have big hips, big thighs, and big arms. And apparently, I have taken it all. Since they are my family, I should feel supported, right? But no, unfortunately. They were the first ones to tell me that I am fat and call me names like "balyena" take note, I was only a kid then. Because of my family and other people, I became shy, insecure, and conscious and felt uncomfortable with my body.

When I was in elementary I was what you call "obese," and I was the biggest in my class. I was called ugly and fat because that's how my classmates saw me. When my puberty came in grade 5, I lost weight but was still fat. Growing up, people around me and the media instilled that being thin is pretty and sexy while being fat is ugly and could only result in bullying. That's why my insecurity about my body developed, there was a time I would come to class without eating breakfast, and while the teacher's having a lecture, I was sitting there dizzy. When it was break time, I would only buy some biscuits just for me to lose weight. But still, in the end, I am fat.

During junior high school, I met many people and made friends. I gained confidence because I knew I had them, and they supported me. In my BMI, I am normal, but because of my body build, many still consider me fat just by looking at me. Still, I am called many names, such as "baboy" and "taba," but now that I have people around me who I know support me, I have become more confident with my body. Even so, there will always be a time when I wish I was thin and fit the beauty standards. And because of this, I did everything: I jogged after class every day, drank slimming tea, didn't eat breakfast before going to school, and even tried consuming only water for days. I lost weight, and some noticed it and told me that I lost weight, yet, it is still not enough. I am still fat. Every time they saw that I had lost weight, they would continue the sentence with "kulang pa, papayat ka pa" I got tired. I stopped. Also, I stopped because someone told me I looked ugly because my face got thinner.

Now, I am in college, where everything could make or break you. College is very stressful; whenever I got stressed, my only coping mechanism was eating. I eat every time I get stressed with my studies, and because there is a pandemic, I don't have someone to talk to, so food is the only one that comforts me. I gained weight. Everyone noticed that I gained weight, and every time they say something about me gaining weight, I smile, but I am still hurt. And because I got annoyed and hurt, I did intermittent fasting and lost weight, but stopped. Do you know why? My family noticed that I don't eat; every time I eat, it is only a small portion, so they were alarmed by my eating pattern. But, they were the ones who told me that I was getting bigger and bigger, calling me again "balyena".

I am still insecure about my body and still experience discrimination. Nevertheless, I admire it for being strong when I am not.

- Mariel

Things We Did To Lose Weight

SLIMMING TEA

I drink this at night, and the morning the next day, I would excrete waste. It would be best to use slimming tea every other night and make sure you have a full sleep. Once I drank slimming tea, and after I discharged my waste the next day, I got dizzy and fainted. It is because of dehydration and lack of sleep. Slimming tea is effective if you want to lose weight faster. It's just that you have to be careful.

INTERMITTENT FASTING

It is an eating pattern where there is time for eating and time for fasting. It depends on how many hours your eating and fasting period will be. It is effective, but you must be strict with your calories. Intermittent fasting is unlike slimming tea, where you can lose weight faster. It takes time and discipline. Also, it could be more effective if you also do some exercise.

WORKOUT

What else is best to lose calories but to exercise and sweat off? I've tried a home workout and made my workout plan. I did it every day, and it made me feel good. I did become consistent but stopped it because I became so busy with school, and I started to binge and stress eating, which made me gain weight again. My workout plan is composed of what I want to focus on, like losing belly fat, building abs, and losing thigh fat. Before my workout, I eat a banana so I won't feel dizzy. It's hard at first, but I always remind myself why I started it.

AVOIDING SWEETS AND SODA

Avoiding sweets and soda is something that isn't hard for me. I experienced a severe UTI back when I was still in junior high school, so I got traumatized from drinking too much soda. When I feel stressed and on my period, I want to eat sweets, but I don't like to eat sweet foods on normal days. This method has a lot of good benefits, and it also protects your teeth from cavities.

Why Should We Love And Be Confident About Our Body

Loving and being confident with our bodies means we are free. We are doing what we want and enjoying ourselves because we don't care about the judgment of others anymore. We can focus on our goals more and improve our mental health. Loving and being confident with our bodies is hard at first, especially with what others say, but I know we will in time. We must be strong and surround ourselves with positive and supportive people. We only have one body, and let's appreciate it for the fantastic things it has done for us; it is unique, and you are unique.

-Mariel

I can say that the most challenging thing that you can attain is confidence and loving your flaws, but there are millions of reasons why we should start loving our bodies' flaws. Start hating it first, and say everything you want about your body. Feel sad and cry about it, but promise yourself that tomorrow you are ready to get out of your comfort zone. Don't be scared to be proud of yourself. Don't be scared to make a slight change or even a massive step out of your comfort zone. Loving means you're giving attention and being appreciative of things; start by giving yourself affirmations after waking up every morning.

1. I am beautiful

2. I am loved

3. I am capable

4. I am going to be successful

5. I love myself

6. I love my body

Being confident means you love yourself, and when you show it to people, you're helping them to love themselves too.

-Mallana

A Letter For You

Hey, how are you feeling? I want you to know that your feelings are valid. You can be mad, disappointed, tired, and sad. When you receive comments that may hurt you, smile them out, but don't ever doubt yourself. At the end of the day, you only have yourself. You'll be the one who can make yourself loved and secure. Take note that those words will destroy your peace, but you're brave and prioritizing your mental health. Just cry it all out, take a walk, and listen to your favorite music. It's not good to focus on how people will look at you. One thing that will help you is not always looking in the mirror. Think of doing things that will make you healthy instead of being skinny and getting praised. Battling with your mind is hard, don't overthink too much. Be with people that you're comfortable with. Take time to listen to different podcasts about self-love, meditate and enjoy your life. Look at your surroundings, and there's so much to pay attention to rather than focusing on people that are probably bored talking bad things for fun. Maybe today you feel down, but there's always tomorrow, don't be scared to grow and learn as a person. Don't be scared to take small steps to improve yourself; drink healthy juices, avoid unhealthy foods, and praise yourself for your progress. Self-love is hard to work for, but there's nothing wrong if you start now. This is a letter to say you are beautiful and you are loved because God created you.

A Letter For Everyone

Judging is normal and can also be helpful in certain situations. But judging someone without knowing anything about that person is something we should not do. We should be mindful of what we say and be sensitive and considerate of what other people might feel, especially if we only know very little about them because we might cause more and more profound problems to that person than helping them. Let us all practice the 5-second rule where you can comment on someone's appearance, and they can change it for 5 seconds and then do it, but if that person cannot, then don't. We should apply to be empathetic; let's try to put ourselves in other's situations.

[voidstilesplease]

Written for @steodiscord's Steo Secret Santa (2021). This one's for @stilesshipper. Hi Em, sorry the Tumblr post is late. I knew I would pass out after I posted the fic on AO3. It took forever to post because I did everything on mobile 🥴. I'm still drunk on caffeine, I think. LOL. But as promised, here's the amazing aesthetic for the fic created by a dearest friend, @sunel0. Sonya, thank you SO MUCH!!! It was fun designing the mood board with you (and by that, I mean: I'm relieved to finally attach a structured one to my work at last 😂).

title: can't believe his luck

ship: Stiles/Theo | word count: 11.5k | rating: T | tags: AU, A/B/O dynamics, friends to lovers, fluff, getting together, werefoxes & werewolves, Stiles and Theo are neighbors and childhood best friends, their parents are best friends as well, Claudia is alive, Theo's parents are very much alive, Stiles & Theo & Scott are best friends, Jackson's an asshole

summary: Stiles, Theo, a treehouse, two gold rings, and three hundred sixty-five volumes of Stiles's favorite manga.

i. take me back when our world was one block wide

Stiles can't believe his luck.

He springs from his desk over to his open window at the sound of the car horn, eyes glinting in excitement as he eyes the family stepping out of a silver car next door and the giant U-Haul truck tailing them. Their new neighbors have arrived. Oh, how long has Stiles waited.

He flips his storybook close - a tale of adventure and friendship between a young fox, much like Stiles himself, and a young wolf. He enjoys those stories the most.

Stiles loves wolves; his best friend Scott is one. His dad is, too.

He gawks at the group, watching each one like a hawk. There's a couple, about the age of Stiles's parents, and two children. Definitely wolves, Stiles confirms to himself with his nose hunched up the air. While the new neighbors' daughter looks too old to want to hang out with Stiles, their son is definitely young enough to be Stiles' wolf buddy!

When Stiles's parents invite the new family for a welcome dinner, Stiles practically leaps down the stairs in his hurry. And when he comes face to face with his prospective new friend, he grins at him through a missing front tooth.

The boy, Theo, frowns and sticks his eyes down to his plate the entire meal. But Stiles isn't deterred by his rather lackadaisical response. It's understandable to be shy at first, after all. His sister, though, Tara, is more amiable. They quickly find something in common: werefox manga. They chatter about it all night and discover that they have the same favorite: The Fox Prince!

At school, Theo enrolls in Stiles's first-grade class. He immediately becomes friends with Jackson, though, and Stiles deflates. Stiles hardly likes that boy. He's mean and a bully. He picks on Stiles because he's smaller than the average bunch and teases him 'omega' like it's an insult. Stiles isn't an omega. He won't know until he's sixteen - no one knows until they're sixteen. And if he was, it wasn't anything to be ashamed of - his parents always make him repeat that. There are also infographics put up all over the school; even educational tapes during orientation and first day in homeroom are available. Pro-omega rights are all over in different media, but some choose to be ignorant.

Their bedrooms, he realizes, are across from each other, overlooking through the side windows. Every night, Stiles shouts his good night to Theo. Even though he never says it back or closes his window pointedly at his face.

Stiles helps his mom bake cookies every Saturday, and he saves some to bring over next door to see Theo. The boy is always upstairs playing when he comes over, and Tessa, Theo's mom, smiles apologetically before inviting him in for a homemade milkshake. Theo comes down only when Stiles is bidding his thanks and is already by the door to leave.

Siles figures - after a few weeks of this pattern - that Theo dislikes him. But why, is the question? Is it for the same reason that Jackson doesn't like Stiles? Because he's small and clumsy, and his mouth spits rapid fire? He really wants them to be friends.

It's kind of rotten, really, because Theo has no problem befriending Scott. They meet when Melissa drops off Scott for an overnight stay, which coincidentally is on one of the nights when Stiles's parents host dinner with the Raekens. Yes, it's how close their families are now. They have a calendar of alternating schedules for dinner. And Saturday park dates. And even Sunday barbecues.

They hit it off pretty fast, and it... stings. Scott is smaller than some of their classmates, too. He's asthmatic and needs his inhaler most of the time. Though, his lungs are starting to get better as Scott grows older, according to his labs - his wolf-healing doing its job at last. He's not mouthy like Stiles, but he's gullible - even for his age. He likes everyone. Which, Stiles admits, is pretty naive but also admirable. All those, and Theo likes him. Enough to compare canines with him whenever Scott comes over while not sparing Stiles a single glance. So, is it because Stiles is a fox that Theo dislikes him?

In his books, the fox and the wolf become friends even when they start off suspicious of each other. Maybe Stiles will have to wait a bit more for Theo to warm up to him? Yes, he'll do that.

But three months after Theo moves into Beacon Hills, Stiles stops waiting.

In the first grade classroom at lunch, he's flailing his hands, explaining to Scott why the new volume of The Fox Prince is the best one so far.

In the middle of it, he hears Jackson fake-whisper to a friend, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Yeah, because he dreams of becoming the Fox Prince and finding a Wolf Knight to build him a palace, like in the comics," Jackson's friend snickers, spraying food all over their shared desk. Jackson grimaces but waves it off to continue, seeing as he has an audience now. "He's too weak to lift a hammer, you see. So limb-y and small. And he's not even pretty. He's too mole-y." Then he turns to Theo, "Theo, you better start running. We all know he's got the most pitiful crush on you."

Stiles tears up even as the teacher reprimands Jackson and tells his classmates to stop laughing. He looks at Theo, hoping that he, at least, looks the slightest bit chagrined on Stiles's behalf.

But Theo smirks at Stiles and says, "Foxes are naturally faster than Wolves. I think I'll just beat him up."

Stiles speeds out of the room, wiping angry and humiliated tears off his face, with Scott following close behind.

It's not because of Stiles that Theo doesn't like him. This, Stiles is finally sure of. Theo is really only - pardon the language, mom and dad - a natural jerkface.

***

ii. take me back to the house in the backyard tree

Stiles can't believe his luck. That is to say: he can't believe how much the universe hates him.

Five years have gone by, and his parents still insist on shoving Stiles and Theo on each other. It's like they never listen. Stiles tells them, over and over, that his and Theo's friendship is never going to happen. But they only roll their eyes at him.

"You were obsessed with him when you were seven," his mom says, placating like Stiles is just being petulant about this. "Of course, it's going to happen. Just be a little less snotty to him."

Be a little less snotty. Right. As if Stiles is the reason for their nonexistent friendship.

Today's Sunday. Therefore, Stiles finds himself in the Raekens' backyard, sulking on the picnic bench with a smug Theo sitting across from him.

"You're gonna climb up to my treehouse, whether you like it or not," he tells Stiles confidently after Stiles shots him down harshly. "Your mom will make you."

Stiles scoffs.

But Theo's right.

Theo and Stiles's dads man the barbecue, talking about the recent werewolf rugby preliminaries, while their moms are sipping red wine and laughing pleasantly at each other's account of embarrassing baby stories of Stiles and Theo. After all these years, they still have more to tell.

Stiles is huffing and puffing, sipping grape juice while kicking aggressively at Theo's feet under the table.

"Really, Theo built that by himself?" Stiles's dad, the Sheriff, exclaims in surprise.

Theo's dad, Richard, laughs delightfully. "Well, I assisted some."

The two of them look over to their table, grinning proudly at Theo. Theo straightens in his seat, preening at the attention of two elder alphas. Stiles scowls.

"He's going to present as an alpha. I tell you, Rick."

Their moms hum in agreement.

As if strength is all that makes an alpha.

"Unlikely," Stiles mutters under his breath, full of petty disdain. "Omegas create the den."

Theo hears him, but he only smirks.

"It's beautiful, Theo!" Claudia, Stiles's mom, gushes loudly, and Stiles groans into his hands. He knows what she will say next. "Why don't you show it to Stiles, honey? I'm sure he would be ecstatic."

Stiles is not ecstatic.

Especially when Theo's dad jokes to Stiles's dad after he grudgingly stomps behind Theo in the direction of the treehouse, proclaiming, "They look good together, wouldn't you say, Noah?"

"I definitely wouldn't mind having Theo as a son-in-law, Rick."

Their moms coo and Stiles briskly walks away, flushing in embarrassment and avoiding Theo's eyes.

The ladder up to the treehouse is rickety, there's a nail protruding by the door that almost brains Stiles, and there are gaps between some of the wood planks on the floor - obviously, that half is Theo's work because it screams amateur. It's spacious but dusty inside. The window is only the size of Stiles's head enough to poke out, and the sill is rough. And Stiles is sure it shakes just a bit as Theo climbs in after him.

"So, what do you think?"

Stiles looks around some more. A blue paint would be nice, he thinks. There's also a skylight as he looks up. The branches are trimmed mindfully so that the sky is visible from where Stiles is standing. He thinks it's amazing.

"It's all right," he offers, at last.

Theo snorts. After a pause, he says casually, "You can come by whenever."

Stiles turns to Theo, drawing his brows. "Why would I?"

"So they'd stop pestering us to talk to each other."

"So we come here instead," Stiles gestures at the general vicinity. "To do what?"

Theo shrugs. "Anything but talk."

Stiles narrows his eyes suspiciously, but Theo's expression betrays no hints of nefarious plans to smother Stiles when his back is turned.

Stiles huffs. His new mini bookshelf will look nice in that one corner, he admits. It doesn't mean he hates Theo any less, though.

Stiles tells Scott about the treehouse at lunch the next day.

"Theo built a treehouse for you?" Scott blurts out dramatically, attracting the attention of a few lunch-goers.

"Theo built a treehouse," Stiles corrects him, gritting his teeth. His cheeks heat up consciously at the passing glances. "Period." Actually, his dad did while he butchered his part of the share.

Scott looks confused. "You said he told you that you could come."

Stiles rolls his eyes, wiping cafeteria pizza grease on his school pants. "That doesn't mean he built it for me."

"Well, did he ask anybody else to come up to his treehouse?"

"No," replies Stiles, dragging the syllable like explaining to a child. "Not that I know of."

"Then he built it for you," Scott concludes, grinning triumphantly into his soggy burger. He adds thoughtfully a bit later, "Maybe it's his odd way of saying sorry."

Stiles sighs. Scott can be stubborn sometimes; it's really no use arguing with him. It doesn't matter anyway. Theo didn't build it, and definitely not for Stiles. Especially not to apologize for a cruel comment he made when he was seven.

But-

"Why did you even build this treehouse?" Stiles asks during the succeeding Sunday afternoon barbecue at the Raekens.

Last weekend, when Stiles's family hosted the afternoon affair, Theo helped Stiles set up his foldable mini bookshelf in the treehouse. And Stiles, in turn, helped Theo arrange pillows and blankets once they polished the floor together. It was wide enough to give them berth, keep them in their half of the space. It was the most agreeable they'd been together in… ever. Theo didn't act obnoxious, and Stiles didn't act snotty. It was actually quite pleasant. But he refused to make any of it. Theo doesn't add to Jackson's mockery anymore, but he still laughs at Stiles's expense. He's not any less a jerk than he was five years ago.

Theo looks up from his portable gamepad, frowning. He's been moody today. "I told you."

"Why didn't you invite Tara, then? She wanted to see." Stiles challenges. He wants to prove to Scott that Theo did invite someone other than him to his treehouse. He doesn't know why it's so important, but it is.

Tara is sixteen, and she recently presented as an alpha. She's living with her grandparents in their old home city. She's here to visit after her presentation to give the news to her parents.

Theo's chest makes a gurgling sound, and he looks appalled by the idea, "I don't want her to see."

"Why not? You let me see."

Theo growls low in a warning.

Stiles continues hotly, "You let me put my bookshelves and books in. You let me lay in your blankets. You let me stay. My scent is all over the place. But you hate me."

Theo gnashes his teeth, "I don't hate you."

"Right," snorts Stiles. He finds himself so worked up over this. "You just enjoy making fun of me."

Theo's face turns a giant blotch of red. The atmosphere inside the treehouse is dense with the scent of his anger. "I don't enjoy making fun of you. I thought I should, to fit in."

"Oh, yes!" Stiles cries out. "You're doing a spectacular job fitting in with the assholes."

Theo's fists are clenched tightly around the gamepad, and he looks ready to burst. "That's why I asked dad to help me build this treehouse, okay?" snarls Theo. "Because I'm-"

Theo cuts off sharply. Huh. What do you know? So, Scott's right, and Theo's buttering him up for an overdue apology. But he can't even say it. He's gnawing his lips hard, chest heaving, as if it's so difficult to push the words out.

Just say it, Stiles thinks. Just say it, and you have it. I won't even make it hard.

After all these years - underneath his grudge - Stiles still wants them to be friends. Wants to open his side window again and yell good night to the boy across his room. Wants to bake cookies and share them with Theo. Wave at him in the school hallways and get a response.

Stiles scoffs, shaking his head. "You probably can't even say it, even if I dare you to."

Theo straightens at that, lifting his chin in a challenging stance. "I'm not scared of anything," he hisses defensively. "I can do whatever you would dare me to do."

Egotistical jerk.

Stiles rises to the game. "Whatever, huh?"

"Whatever," Theo agrees.

"Anything at all? I'm not so sure about that."

"Stiles,"

He doesn't know what makes him blurt it out. Probably his growing amusement at the strange situation they've fallen in. But whatever it is, Stiles says:

"Then kiss me, I dare you."

He's so sure Theo would blink, balk in disgust, and finally beat him up, as he said many years ago. But, at least, Stiles has made his point, right? So, Stiles is not prepared when Theo stands - his head almost brushing the roof - and stalks forward, crossing the invisible barrier they set to separate the space.

Stiles's smile instantly drops, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to kiss you," Theo replies decisively. "I can't do it from the other side of the room, can I?"

Stiles meeps, eyes quickly darting to the exit. "I- but- what," He's only twelve! Not that having his first kiss hasn't crossed his mind or that he's against sharing it with Theo, but neither is the point.

A lone fox in a fight or flight situation. Of course, Stiles bolts out.

Theo's laughing when he pokes his head out of the window. He shouts down at Stiles, "I thought you were a fox, not a chicken!"

He glares and makes rude gestures at Theo before running back to where their parents are busy with the food prep, unaware that Stiles's fast-beating heart is not because he's been running at all. Stiles is still blushing hard when he settles on the picnic bench with his traitorous brain unhelpfully chanting what if.

He still has the most pathetic crush on Theo, apparently.

***

iii. take me back to the creek beds we turned up

Stiles can't believe his luck.

Being friends with Theo is not, at all, how Stiles imagined it would be. Especially when Theo presents as an alpha shortly after turning sixteen.

Scott has also presented as an alpha. Which, frankly, surprised everyone, even Scott himself. For the longest time, they assumed Scott would be a beta. He's just too easy going to be one of the temperamental knotheads. He knocked everyone's breath away when he came to school smelling like kneel before me. He never exploited that, though. Scott would never. He's still the same Scott who's loyal to Stiles and finds the good in everyone.

Stiles has yet to present, although he's a good few months older than both Theo and Scott. But now, he has two alpha best friends. He's basically untouchable at this point. But Theo's protectiveness is noticeably different from Scott's. Enough to catch the attention of Lydia Martin, an alpha werewolf, top of the class, who never once spoke to Stiles even though they shared plenty of classes in middle school, freshman, and sophomore years.

She sits next to him in AP English. "You're Stiles, right?"

Taken aback, Stiles can only nod.

Lydia hums, her kohl-rimmed eyes giving him a deliberate once over. It's really intimidating. Because it's, well, Lydia. When her eyes settle back on his, she says, "Your boyfriend broke my boyfriend's arm during lacrosse practice yesterday."

His eyes widen. None of what she said computes.

"Jackson," she thankfully clarifies after pursing her lips, noticing his utter confusion. "Theo broke Jackson's arm."

Stiles's eyes widen some more. He didn't know about it. Stiles skipped track practice yesterday, and Theo didn't mention it last night when they played Uno on Stiles's roof until midnight. Everything felt normal, but he does remember Theo saying that his mom's miffed at him. He passed it off as nothing serious because it's a fairly regular occurrence. Then, his forehead creases, processing the rest of Lydia's words.

"Theo's not my boyfriend," he adds hastily.

Lydia scoffs, smiling sharply, "He sure acts like it."

Stiles corners Scott by his locker going to the third period.

"What happened at lacrosse practice yesterday?" he demands without preamble.

Scott blinks at him. "Theo didn't tell you?"

Stiles huffs impatiently, "I wouldn't be pestering you if he did." He can't find Theo anywhere, too. Now of all days.

Scott closes his locker door, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I don't know the entirety of it," Scott starts cautiously. "They were already pretty tense when they came out of the locker room. Then, they just started baring their fangs out and pouncing on each other."

"You've no idea what they could be fighting about?"

Scott looks uncertain for a moment before he sighs resignedly. "Jackson made inappropriate comments about you," he confesses. "I told him to shut up. But Theo totally... snapped."

Stiles pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes with a deep inhale. He opens them again after a second, "Jackson called me omega again, didn't he?"

Scott nods, flattening his lips wryly. "And more."

It's Stiles's turn to sigh. Ever since Theo started hanging out with Stiles, he hung out less and less with Jackson and his lackeys. It's only one more reason for Jackson to hate Stiles and for him to start growing bitter feelings against Theo. They still talk, being in the lacrosse team and all. But Theo openly shuts off anyone who badmouths Stiles and threatens them with bodily harm - and makes good of his promise, see: Jackson - when push comes to shove.

"Theo got suspended for a week," Scott adds after a moment. "He'll also be benched in the next game."

Considering what he did, it's a pretty light punishment. But the new alpha aggression is easy to blame. It's an acceptable excuse. Still.

"Stiles?" Scott places a gentle hand on his shoulder. Stiles looks up, lips wobbling just the slightest. He hates to cause his friends trouble. God knows how many times Scott set aside his amicable nature to warn people off of Stiles's business. Scott's fingers squeeze consolingly, "It's not your fault, okay? He just wants to protect you."

Stiles is not entirely convinced, but he nods.

Later, after school, Theo pulls his truck up deep into the Preserve, to that one spot they both think is the best-hidden treasure within the woods of Beacon Hills: the creek.

They'd discovered it together during a Saturday run after they called a truce and went back there during family date runs, sometimes with Scott. They visit more frequently after Stiles inherited her mom's Jeep and Theo's dad bought him a truck, usually without Scott. He's got a girlfriend now, Allison, who's such a nice girl, a sweet beta. He's trying to win over Allison's family, so he spends a lot of time with her. It's not a problem. Courting is a serious matter, and the Argents are a clan of old conservatives. Stiles and Theo are perfectly capable of enjoying themselves.

It's… nice. Sitting practically flushed together on the tailgate of Theo's truck, their pinky fingers linked innocently in between them. The streaming water, soft snaps of wood in the distance, and their own heartbeats close to each other are the only sounds they can hear. Theo's scent is basically the same as Stiles's own, and it feels like comfort to him.

They're playing sideward footsie with shoes on, and Stiles hates to be the one to break their companionable silence.

"You got suspended," he starts. There's no point posing it as a question. By now, Theo must have figured out that Stiles already knows about it.

Theo nods, hopping off the tailgate.

Stiles tracks his movements. From taking off his shoes and socks, rolling up his pant hems, jumping down a shallow slope to the creek bed, and dipping ankle-deep into the cold water. He picks up a handful of pebbles and starts casting them onto the deeper parts of the creek.

He speaks after a moment, "It's nothing."

Stiles frowns at his dismissive tone. "It's not nothing. You broke Jackson's arm and got suspended."

Theo shrugs. Another throw. "He'll heal."

Stiles sputters in disbelief, "I know he'll heal. But that doesn't mean you had to hurt him."

"I was supposed to do nothing?" Theo snaps, turning bodily to look at Stiles. "He disrespected you."

"It's not like I was there to hear it to get affected," he reasons, though he knows it's a weak argument.

Theo's eyes flash, jabbing at his chest. "Well, I was there to hear it and wanted none of it. Scott and I already warned Jackson, but it's like he's testing me. He thinks my threats are all bluff. They're seriously fucking not."

"Language," Stiles admonishes reflexively.

Theo ignores it, dropping the pebbles mindlessly, as he walks out of the water, up the slope, into Stiles's space. His knees make contact with Theo's abdomen, and they're close enough for Stiles to feel the heat of his body.

Theo's hands settle around his lower thighs, and Stiles's breath catches. "He's not gonna call you a 'hot piece of ass for alphas to bend over', and get away with it unscathed, the sexist bastard."

Stiles inwardly grits his teeth at Jackson's disdainful words. But his indignation is dulled by the fluttering in his stomach. Theo moves just another inch closer. Their position and proximity, Theo's warm hands on him, are distracting. "So, you broke his arm."

"I would have gone for the balls," replies Theo flatly. "If it wouldn't have sent me straight to juvie in two seconds. Procreation is still an alpha's greatest pride, and it's against the law to sabotage it."

Stiles's mouth twitch. Then he remembers, "Lydia called you my boyfriend because of what you did."

Theo pauses, processing the information. Then his face breaks into a grin, "Nah. I'm worse than any boyfriend or girlfriend you will ever have. I'm a permanent fixture."

Stiles throws his head back in laughter because there's no doubt about that. "I'm counting on that."

***

iv. take me back to the time we had our very first fight

Stiles can't believe his luck.

When Stiles's heat finally comes, it comes unexpectedly, as it's wont to do. Stiles in the treehouse with Theo, snuggling under Theo's bedcovers and telling him about the final volume of his favorite manga, The Fox Prince. All day they've been extra tactile. Like it's physically impossible not to reach out and touch each other. The amount of times Stiles stared and nuzzled absently against Theo's neck is embarrassing. And the smell they make together should have been a dead giveaway. But no, they have to suffer the first-hand ramifications of alpha and omega pheromones clouding one's judgment.

"So, they lived happily ever after," Theo comments drily after Stiles's long and detailed regaling, playing with the short strands of his hair.

Stiles twists his head on Theo's chest to send him a narrow-eyed glare. "And what's wrong with that?"

"It's plenty predictable."

Stiles rises on one elbow to properly have a look at Theo's face. "Of course, it's going to end happily. All of the fans knew from the beginning," Stiles says matter-of-factly. "But the ending's hardly the reason why fans stick to their favorite book, or movie, or TV show. It's the in-between that matters the most. How they got their happy end."

Theo arches a brow, and the corners of his lips pull up to a soft smile. His big hands settle around Stiles's hips. "All right. If you say so, Fox Prince."

Stiles's cheeks heat up, glancing at Theo's mouth and looking away quickly. He's been doing a lot of that today. He mutters, "I'm not calling you Wolf Knight."

Unlike Stiles, Theo shamelessly stares at his mouth. Theo's been doing a lot of that today, too. It's a rather jarring development, but he refuses to overthink his way out of this. His body's telling him it's right. Who's he to oppose? Theo's voice lowers imperceptibly, thumbing under Stiles's shirt and tracing circles around his soft skin. "Why not?"

The heat spreads in Stiles's body at once; strong, and all-consuming, making his toes and fingertips tingle and his core burn. He splays his fingers on Theo's chest, pressing himself against his best friend, and slowly rubbing their scents together. His brain turns hazy with the smell of alpha.

He peppers open mouth kisses on Theo's collarbone as the hands around him grasp tighter, running up to his spine. He arches into the touch, kissing the underside of Theo's jaw. Stiles whispers, "Do you want me to?" but he almost forgets what they're talking about, too busy putting his hands under Theo's shirt to clutch mindlessly on his defined torso without the fabric barrier.

Theo moans, maneuvering Stiles so their bodies align. Him underneath and Stiles above him. He slips a knee in between Stiles's legs, taking the back of his head with one hand and gripping meaningfully at his hair.

Stiles obediently bares his neck.

Theo growls, biting the proffered skin with his blunt teeth before nuzzling his nose along the line of Stiles's shoulder. "You smell so good. Why do you smell so good?" He mutters absently.

Somewhere in his brain, Stiles hears a warning that they're moving too fast, close to crossing a line. But most of his senses are clouded with want, a yearning he's never known before.

"You're so hot," Theo whispers.

Stiles kisses the shell of his ear, instinctively grinding against Theo, chasing the satisfaction he instinctively knows he will find in Theo's body. What was it they were talking about earlier? He can't even remember. His mind is filled to the brink of thoughts of alpha, need, and please.

Suddenly, Theo's body goes rigid, and his hands pause. "Stiles," he says, tone sharp. "You're hot."

Stiles's lips journey down to his chin. "You too," he murmurs.

"No," he shakes his head, and suddenly Theo is yanking on Stiles's shoulders to pull them apart. Stiles looks down at him with hooded eyes. "You're burning."

Stiles is confused. But now that Theo mentions it, yes, he does feel unusually… warm. And he can't think straight. He knows he prefers there to be less distance between Theo and him though. He wants to roll around in their den, clinging to the scent of safety, of home, of unbridled want.

When he moves to close their distance again, Theo immediately sits upright, knocking Stiles off of him like it's a do or die to physically separate them. There's panic in Theo's eyes, and Stiles feels the sting of shame and rejection in his bones. His whimpers, feeling small and inadequate.

"Stiles," Theo scrambles to stand, untangling the sheets from around him. His pupils are lust-blown, but the look of abject horror overpowers it. "Oh crap. You're in heat."

He doesn't remember much of what happens after Theo hurries down the treehouse, but he knows it's a torment without his alpha. He whimpers and whines, smelling his own agony overtaking the atmosphere. Then his parents come, the same look of panic he saw on Theo in his dad's eyes before he, too, scurries to the exit. Theo's mother, Tessa, takes his dad's place, and she and Stiles's mother help Stiles down the treehouse and into Stiles's room.

Then eternity of hollow emptiness after that.

But it's actually only a week. After the seventh day, his heat breaks. And all Stiles is, is a mess.

His mother pokes her head into the room, seeing Stiles lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, reeling from the aftermath of his presentation.

So, Jackson is right after all. He's an omega.

Claudia sits on the edge, reaching to pet his head. She smiles, "How are you, honey?"

Stiles manages to croak out, "Like Hell swallowed me and spat me back out."

Claudia chuckles. Then she sobers up and tells him, "You were lucky you were with Theo when you presented."

Anywhere else would have been dangerous, Stiles knows that much. There's always the risk of some alpha taking advantage. Although, it's more uncommon at present, ever since the emergence of more specified omega laws and pro-omega support groups. It's still a terrifying possibility.

Stiles nods, "I was."

Melissa calls him, asks about his well-being, congratulates Stiles, and tells him he will have Scott bring over omega pamphlets from the hospital. Scott rings him next, sounding like he's a mix of ecstatic that Stiles finally presented nine months after he turned 16, and worried about his orientation.

"Are you all right?" Stiles translates it as: are you all right with being an omega?

"I am," replies Stiles honestly. "I think I kinda knew all along." He's only been reluctant to embrace it because of Jackson and a few other sexist dickheads at school.

But this is him now. And like his parents have always implanted in his brain, like the signboards all around the school say, like the theme of the media he consumes: being an omega is nothing different than being an alpha or a beta. It's only biology, and like everything in the ecosystem, has a purpose no less important than the other species.

"I'm glad Stiles," he can hear the sincerity in Scott's voice. "Remember you have me and Theo."

The next time he sees Theo is when it's his family's turn to host dinner. Their eyes meet, and his face goes up in flame. Stiles can't look his best friend in the eyes without the memories of the treehouse flooding to the forefront of his mind.

God, the way he rubbed himself wantonly against Theo. Definitely not the proper thoughts to be having at the dinner table.

He doesn't know the extent of their parents' knowledge on what took place before Theo sobered up and ran out of the treehouse, but Stiles's mom and dad look at Theo like he had saved the world from an extinction-level event.

Noah claps Theo's back and places a hand on Theo's shoulder. He grins, "Son if you ever need it, you have my blessing."

Stiles's mouth drops. He hisses from his seat, aghast, "Dad!" Because now's the time to joke about them getting together, why not. Stiles fights the urge to burrow underneath the table.

Theo's parents only laugh, but their eyes twinkle, too.

"Uh, thank you, sir." stammers Theo. His is bright red, looking to the world like he wants to be anywhere else but there at the moment. At least, that makes two of them.

Claudia rolls her eyes, playfully smacking the Sheriff's arm. "Stop teasing the boy, Noah." she chides with a smile. Then she leans over the back of Theo's chair and pecks his cheek affectionately, "But for what it's worth, you have mine, too."

Stiles groans and sinks lower in his seat. What do they say about grounds opening and swallowing a person whole? Where's one of those when you need it?

After dinner, one spent sending furtive glances at one another across the table, Theo excuses them, asking Stiles's parents for permission to take Stiles driving around for a little bit.

They try to do it surreptitiously, but Stiles catches the knowing looks that both his and Theo's parents exchange as they make their way out the door.

They take Stiles's Jeep. Theo drives - Stiles trusts only two people to drive his Jeep: Theo and Scott - and Stiles fiddles with the pebble he keeps in his Jeep's compartment, doing his best to reign in his thundering heart. This is the first time they're alone together after… that. He doesn't do a very good job at it, he thinks. He can smell his own nerves.

"I didn't know you kept that," Theo says, breaking the silence.

It takes Stiles a moment to understand what he means, "Oh, this?" He raises the pebble, about half the size of Stiles's palm, smooth and distinctly shaped like a deformed heart, but a heart nonetheless. "Yeah," he says, looking at the object fondly. "It's pretty. I've grown attached since the first time you showed it to me."

"Say the word, and I'll scour the entire creek bed for more."

Stiles blushes but laughs, forgetting his previous anxiety. "I don't think the local environment office will appreciate you rearranging the creek bed, but thanks. The one's enough, though."

"If you say so," replies Theo with a grin.

Their eyes meet briefly, and Stiles uses the easing of tension to finally say it. "Thank you, Theo."

Theo's brow arches in amusement, "For giving you a pebble?"

"For the treehouse," Theo glances at him in surprise. Stiles licks his lips, forcing himself to continue speaking before he loses the gall again. "For being more in control and calling for help. For-" the image of them necking and feeling up each other plague his brain, and he feels himself flushing crimson from the neck up again. He also recalls Theo's panic and pushing Stiles away before running. Stiles doesn't want to think about what else he would've done, what he would've let Theo do if Theo's senses got completely fogged by his omega pheromones. "For saving me from complete and utter humiliation."

Theo doesn't say anything for a while, but Stiles can smell the trepidation on him.

"You don't have to thank me," starts Theo. "I-" he cuts himself off and heaves a deep breath, swallows, tries again. "If anything, I should apologize. I'd noticed the change in your scent before we came up, just thought it was because of that manga you were so excited about. I should've known immediately."

"I should've known immediately," Stiles counters. "I couldn't stop thinking about your neck."

Theo snorts, but there's a remaining scent of guilt lingering in the air.

Stiles reaches out a hand to rest over Theo's on the gearshift. It's such a small gesture, one that he's done countless times throughout the years, but Stiles feels the weight of their touch much more now. Theo glances at their joined hands, then at Stiles. Stiles smiles at him in assurance, "I'm glad it was you."

Theo smiles back, his unease settling at Stiles's words. He twines their pinky fingers, something they've also done countless times before but somehow means differently now. Stiles sighs in contentment, and so does Theo.

When he comes back to school, all eyes are on him. All noses, too, it seems. Stiles expects no less. There aren't many omegas in Beacon Hills and much less in BHHS. In fact, there's only one other currently enrolled. She happens to be in Stiles's year and a werefox like him. And they also have homeroom together.

When Kira enters the room, her eyes immediately find Stiles, and she beams, making her way to him. Everyone's eyes track the progress of her steps, shameless in their gossiping and obvious in their sniffing. Apparently, Stiles and Kira are the hottest topics at school now.

"Hi, Stiles!" She gestures at the seat beside Stiles. "May I sit here?"

Stiles nods eagerly. It's not unsurprising that they instantly fall into a comfortable companionship. Stiles had been Kira's first friend when she first came to BHHS freshman year, helping her figure out her schedule and pointing her in the right directions.

At lunch, Stiles waves at Kira to sit with them. Them being: him, Theo, Scott, and Allison. She comes over smiling, bringing a friend in tow.

"Hey," she greets everyone, high-spirited. She points at the boy behind her. "This is my friend, Isaac. Is it okay if we sit with you, guys?"

Stiles readily scoots to make space, and the two set their trays down. Isaac nods at Theo and Scott. They're teammates in lacrosse, so they're familiar. But while Scott moves to start a friendly conversation, Theo swoops in for his neck.

"So," he starts, unmindful of the pleading expression on Scott's face. "How's Jackson's arm these days?"

Isaac stops short, then shrugs. "We don't hang out much lately."

"Really?" The sarcasm drips from Theo's tone, and Stiles sends him a warning glance. "Weren't you one of his most loyal puppies?"

"Theo," Scott sighs tiredly. It's like they've had the same conversation before.

"Well," Isaac straightens, leveling him with the same look. "Weren't you, too?"

Theo scowls, but before he can retort, Stiles grabs his hand. Theo takes one look at his face, then turns away with a roll in his eyes. He picks up curly fries from Stiles's plate, with Stiles forcing himself not to swat his hand, and opens his phone instead. He keeps Stiles's hand curled against his own and doesn't speak to Isaac the whole lunch period.

Later in the afternoon, Stiles finds Isaac loitering by his Jeep in the parking area, in his lacrosse uniform, clearly waiting for Stiles. The boy lifts his head, likely smelling Stiles, and offers a bashful smile.

"Hey," he says when he's near enough. "What are you doing here?" Stiles asks a little dubiously.

It's not that he doesn't trust Isaac. He's friends with Kira, and Kira is the sweetest girl Stiles knows next to Allison. She wouldn't be comfortable with him if he's still an asshole. But the fact remains that everyone else is in practice, and he's here seeking Stiles out. He can't help but be a little conscious of their privacy. Isaac, after all, used to be one of Jackson's closest friends. He used to laugh along at Jackson's gibes against Stiles. He only distanced himself after Theo left.

Isaac shifts on his feet, not quite meeting Stiles's eyes. "I just- wanna say sorry."

Stiles pauses. "What for?"

He shrugs. "For, you know, teasing you before."

He doesn't expect it, but it feels nice all the same. Stiles nods, smiling. "Yeah, dude. It's all good."

"It's just - I was never a popular kid or anything," he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck with his gaze averted over Stiles's shoulder. "So when Jackson wanted to hang out with me, I thought I had to do everything to keep him around."

Stiles eyes him softly. He's never been this up close to Isaac before, always afraid that he might say something awful. Stiles prefers not to hear what they think about him. But here today, he only looks vulnerable and honest. It's probably the omega in him that wants to console people in distress, even ones that used to cause him anxiety, but he moves forward, a display of trust to Isaac.

He rests a hand on one of his shoulders, drawing Isaac's attention to the touch. "You don't have to explain."

Isaac exhales in relief. "If I could take back all the nasty things I did, I would."

Stiles smiles, "As I said, it's all good. Just don't be a stranger."

Isaac and Stiles end up exchanging phone numbers. He gives Kira's to Stiles, too. They sit together every lunch, and Theo gradually starts talking to Isaac, albeit passive-aggressively. Kira and Stiles grow a sort of bond, being the only omegas in a school full of alphas and betas, and it's all nice, adding two more in Stiles's little group of friends.

Junior year passes. Theo gets into another fight with Jackson, but thankfully, nothing gets broken this time. Scott says Allison's father asked him to go on a hunt with him, which is stellar news for the courting couple because it means they're trusting Scott implicitly to provide for the pack. Kira reveals that she's secretly crushing on Isaac, and Isaac enlists Stiles's help on finally asking Kira out.

"I don't know, Stiles," he says nervously over the phone the evening before the first day of Senior year. "I don't think Mrs. Yukimura likes me that much."

"How can you say so?"

"She gives me the stink eye whenever I come over, and I haven't even hinted at my intention to court Kira."

Stiles snorts, "The stink eye. What are you, twelve?"

Isaac huffs, a little annoyed. "Not everyone's parents play matchmaker like yours and Theo's, you know."

Blushing, Stiles ignores the comment. "Look, stop overthinking. Just do it."

It takes a moment for Isaac to form his reply. When he does, his voice is quiet, "I have nothing to boast. I'm an alpha with no self-confidence. An antithesis to my kind." It's like he doesn't mean to say it out loud when he adds, "My father made sure to beat it all out of me."

Stiles closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. It's a subject they don't talk about. Everyone knows that Isaac's father is in prison for domestic abuse of his son - a result of losing his wife untimely, turning to alcohol to quell his grief, and taking out his anger on their only son. It was a whole commotion in their middle school, just a few months short of Isaac leaving Jackson's group. People gossiped. But since Isaac already established a reputation for being an asshole, nobody dared talk about it. At least, to his face. Isaac moved into his aunt's ever since, who doted on him, but instead of growing out of his shell, he burrowed deeper into it. He maintained the asshole persona, joined the lacrosse team, and pretended nothing could shake him.

He met Kira through her dad in their freshman year. Mr. Yukimura teaches history, and during freshman year, Isaac was the first to receive a detention from him. Isaac sorted through a century's worth of archived international print media, and Kira eagerly jumped in assistance when she came in after her class. Mr. Yukimura invited Isaac to dinner the same night, and it had only been the first of many. He became an almost permanent fixture at the Yukimura's, with Kira's dad taking him as his unofficial student assistant. It gave him so much time to know Kira, grow fond of her, and eventually fall for her.

Even though Isaac doesn't talk about his past abuse, it left a dent in his self-esteem, and it shows. He refers to himself as a dysfunctional alpha because of certain societal stereotypes and unworthy of Kira's attention.

"I'm not good enough for her," Isaac says after a long time of silence.

Stiles replies, "Let her decide for herself. You're a good person, Isaac. Kira knows that. Give it a chance to blossom before you try to kill it."

"Theo's a lucky guy," says Isaac after a second of silence. Before Stiles can ask him what he even means by that, he's already saying his goodbye. "Thank you, Stiles. See you tomorrow."

Stiles spends another minute staring at the ceiling of his room, contemplating Isaac and Kira's mutual feelings for each other and the sure chance that, should things go to plan as they likely will, his friends will officially begin courting. The thought brings a smile to his face.

He's settling into his blanket when he hears it: a soft tapping pattern on his window. He gets up, already knowing who he's going to see on the other side. Theo has knocked on his bedroom window - the one facing the front of the house, not the one overlooking Theo's own bedroom - so many times now that Stiles is in tune with the pattern.

He slides the window open, smiling at the beaming face of his best friend. "I thought you guys were doing a family thing?"

Tara is home from college. After tonight's dinner at the Raekens, one which Stiles spent talking to Tara about the ending of The Fox Prince even though they'd already freaked out to each other on Skype the week of the release, Theo understandably cancels their evening stroll in the creek. They are taking Tara out because she's only staying for a few days.

"We just got back," Theo helps Stiles climb out the window and onto the terrace roof.

When they are seated, facing the full moon, Theo says, "I gotta give you something," and takes out a small velvet box from his pocket.

Stiles looks at the box, stunned. The logo at the top makes his mouth drop open, gasping, "It's The Fox Prince limited edition collectible ring set!" Stiles takes the box from Theo with the utmost gentleness, as if the wrong brush of his finger will dissolve it into a mist. "Oh my god!" he exclaims, turning to Theo with shining eyes. "Did Tara give this to you?"

Theo pauses, but Stiles is too busy admiring the box to notice. Instead of answering, Theo nudges Stiles's shoulder, "Open it."

Stiles looks at him again, astonished, and nods. Carefully, he opens the ring box and squeals in excitement at the sight of two gold bands, genuine 18 karat gold bands, that he only ever fantasized about while reading the manga. Now he's holding the impression marriage rings of his most favorite fictional couple.

Theo takes the band with the symbol Ω and takes Stiles's left hand. Stiles watches in awe as Theo smoothly slides the ring to his pale finger, the exact size for it, and drops a featherlight kiss on his knuckles.

Stiles admires the ring as it glows under the moonlight. "It's so beautiful." After a few more seconds, Stiles moves to take it off, but Theo stops him, confused.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking it off," replies Stiles, also confused.

Theo frowns, "I thought you liked it."

"I do!" Stiles hastily affirms. "But if it's Tara's-"

"It's yours," Theo cuts him off, rolling his eyes. "I put it on your finger."

"But-"

Theo abruptly interrupts his protest. "Stiles," he intones his name a little exasperatedly. "Remove it only if you don't want it."

Stiles hesitates, stares at the perfectly-sized ring around his finger, and chooses to indulge. He's wearing the promise of commitment of the Wolf Knight to the Fox Prince. It only took them years to arrive at that moment.

Picking up the box from his lap, he plucks the second gold band, one marked with Α, and smirks playfully at his best friend. "So I take it you want to be my Wolf Knight," he jokes. "You didn't have to beat me up after all."

"I want to be," Theo replies seriously. "If you will allow me."

Stiles shivers slightly from the night air, mostly from the look in Theo's eyes.

He swallows, reaching for Theo's hand. He slides the ring into his finger, and it fits. Stiles can't believe their luck. The rings fit exactly like they're made for them. They fit perfectly like Stiles sometimes thinks he fits perfectly with Theo.

This childhood crush is going to be the death of him.

Or maybe his obliviousness will. And Theo's temper.

It crashes a month into Senior year. Isaac ended up not confessing his intentions of courting Kira the night before Senior year, and both he and Kira are getting frustrated, and by extension, Stiles. The scent is all he can smell from them whenever Stiles is around one or both of them. He takes to spending more time talking Isaac out of his nerves - at school, during track practice together (because Isaac also does track on top of lacrosse), over the phone, even during the weekend. And Kira, too, to listen to her wax poetry about Isaac's blue eyes and blond curls. And how she's sure he feels the same, but he looks away when she thinks they're gaining progress, and she's back to square one.

Ultimately, Stiles has Isaac writing his confession if talking isn't cutting it. Isaac cocks his head thoughtfully, then nods and writes a whole freaking narrative poetry or something. It's so well constructed, all of his thoughts flowing smoothly like the water in the Preserve creek, and Stiles is dumbstruck. They should've done this a long time ago.

He keeps the draft of Isaac's letter, thinking about framing it for his friends' first wedding anniversary in the future, and of course, Theo finds it.

And he absolutely flips.

Stiles can't believe his luck.

"We're you ever going to tell me?" Theo growls in anger, knuckles white on the steering wheel, eyes red as he drives home.

Stiles can't help but whimper. The scent of Theo's fury is sharp against his nostrils, and it hurts. He wants to reach out and appease the alpha, but he's also upset for being yelled at for no reason. His eyes sting with tears threatening to spill any second. He holds onto his own keys, his Jeep abandoned in the school parking lot, and snaps back.

"Tell you what?"

Theo growls again, pressing the car horn hard, the opposing cars veering away in alarm, and bares his fangs at the road. The veins in his arm and neck stick out prominent, and Stiles really sees the physical difference between an alpha and omega. Stiles has always been taller than Theo. His long, lithe, agile legs are the most remarkable features, the apotheosis of a werefox. But while he's always been lean in structure from the omega gene, Theo is broad, strong, and imposing. He loves it about Theo. So Stiles hates that it's scaring him now.

"That you were courting with someone else!"

"I'm not!"

Theo's eyes flash, "I saw Isaac's confession, Stiles. Don't lie to me!" He doesn't give Stiles a chance to speak, to correct his assumption, because he continues, still as livid, but the hurt is also bleeding in his voice. "How are you still wearing my ring if you're breaking intentions with me?"

Stiles is gobsmacked, "Breaking intentions- what?"

"His scent is all over you, fuck!" He swears, turning to their block with a hard turn. He grits his teeth, jaw clenching tight. "How could I be so stupid?"

When Theo screeches to a stop in Stiles's gate, Stiles hurries to get off his truck. The atmosphere inside is suffocating. "Yes!" He cries indignantly. "The confession was for Kira if you cared to read the entire letter before going feral on me. So, yes, how could you be so stupid?"

Stiles slams the door of Theo's truck, the gate, the front door, and the door to his room. He slams his windows shut, both of it, rolls the blinds down because Theo will try to reach out, and Stiles just doesn't have it in him to deal with him right now.

He refuses to go down to dinner, telling his mother to absolutely not let Theo in no matter what he says. Scott drives his Jeep home with the spare key but doesn't ask to talk to him. Scott shoots Stiles a message instead, telling him to call whenever he can. His dad knocks on his door, asking if he needs to snap someone's neck off.

"It's just a misunderstanding, dad," he says weakly.

"You're not eating dinner or going out of your room because of a misunderstanding?"

Stiles sighs, deep-set. "It's a really crap misunderstanding."

His dad also sighs behind the door, "All right. Tell us if you need anything, okay?" He walks away, leaving Stiles to his thoughts.

He's staring at his ring, replaying the conversation in the car again and again, when he hears the faint rhythm of Theo's rapping on his window. He sighs.

"You don't have to let me in, or say anything, or even listen to me," Theo says to begin, sobered up and apologetic. The scent of remorse pouring out of Theo is evident even with the wall barricading them. Stiles hears rustling and the sound of Theo's back thudding against his windowpane. "I just- want you to know I'm sorry."

His heart has always been soft for Theo. He could never resist him when they were boys, and he doesn't know how to start doing it now. Stiles seeks him out, missing him when they're apart for an indefinite amount of time. It's not because he's an alpha or Stiles's best friend. He has two of those. But his affection for Theo is for a different reason.

Theo heaves a deep breath, "I acted terribly out of line."

Stiles throws his blanket aside and gets to his feet. Theo momentarily falters, startled by the sound of Stiles's movement. Stiles imagines him straining his ear, trying to determine whether Stiles is moving closer or away. As Stiles takes his steps toward the window, Theo's heartbeat steadily grows louder and faster, matching Stiles's own. They'd always been perfectly synchronized, now that Stiles thinks about it.

He stops, right by where Theo's sitting. Stiles waits until Theo speaks again.

"I was jealous," Theo admits, voice tinged with embarrassment. "It's not an excuse, but it's the truth. I knew you were friendly with Isaac, and that's fine. But I started catching his scent on you even when he's not around. It drove me insane. The letter was the last straw."

"It wasn't for me," says Stiles quietly.

Theo sighs, swallowing. His head thuds softly against the pane. "I know that now. I was hasty to think of the worst. I just- I was scared."

Stiles takes one more step, putting him right against the window. He places a hand over the blinds and imagines touching Theo's back without the barrier between them. He looks at his ringed finger and says, "You don't have to be. Scared, I mean."

Theo holds his breath in reply.

Stiles rolls up the blinds, revealing Theo, who shifts to face him immediately. Their eyes meet; Theo hopeful and Stiles in wonder.

He lifts his window and leans over the sill. They stare at each other for a few more, Theo not moving further before Stiles finally asks the question he's been longing to ask. "Do you really want to be my Wolf Knight? Like, for real?"

Theo answers without missing a beat. "Since we were twelve."

Stiles is stunned. He gestures at their ringed fingers, "So- the rings-"

"Aren't Tara's," Theo finishes for him. "I've been saving to buy an actual ring since we were fifteen. It's by chance that your favorite book sells an actual pair of gold promise bands. I asked Tara to buy them in Los Angeles before she came home."

Stiles can't believe his ears right now. All this time?

Faintly, he asks. "The treehouse?"

Theo nods, "Is for you. It's an experimental project for when I give you the real thing."

It's taking everything in Stiles not to tear up right now. It's so… romantic, damn it. He wishes he could bottle up this moment to visit it, over and over again. He only ever felt this while reading The Fox Prince.

Stiles moves first, reaching out to curl a hand at the back of Theo's neck. Theo follows his beckoning, crouching low and drawing near until their foreheads are touching and their breaths mingling.

"You have me at day one," Stiles confesses. Theo cups his neck as well, tracing patterns against the moles of Stiles's skin, his own ring glinting in the night light. Stiles grins, "So, all right," Theo's face breaks into a blinding smile of his own. "I'll be your Fox Prince. For real."

Theo closes their distance, and they kiss, the first of many they will share. And it's gentle, no more than a pressing of the lips, but it's a vow. And, god, will they make good of it.

***

v. take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle

Stiles can't believe his luck.

After that first kiss on the window of Stiles's room, Theo officially asks Stiles's parents for their blessing to court him. Their dads shake each other's hands, joking for old time's sake.

"I always said they looked good together, Noah."

"And I always said I would love to have Theo as my son-in-law, Rick."

Their mothers are absolutely delighted with the news, smacking kisses all over their faces.

"My baby," Theo's mom coos, "Not a baby anymore."

Theo groans but doesn't pull away from her.

Claudia cups Stiles's face and whispers so no one else hears. "I'm glad it's Theo."

"Me too, mom." Stiles laughs. "God, me too."

The news quickly spread around the school. After all, the only two omegas in attendance are both exclusively courting almost at the same time. Isaac's letter worked. And though he almost shit himself while revealing his intentions to Mrs. Yukimura, she accepted. With no ounce of doubt that her only daughter is in good hands.

Jackson walks up to Stiles in the cafeteria. Theo moves to intercept him, but Stiles stops him with a hand to his chest. Jackson looks reluctant, but he forces himself to smirk.

"Congratulations, Stilinski," he says. "Although, I think you could do better than Raeken."

Theo growls in warning, and Scott sighs exasperatedly like they've had this conversation before. "Jackson,"

Jackson pays him no mind, slipping his gaze to Theo. He casually shrugs, "You couldn't have run fast enough, anyway. He was always going to catch you."

He backs away, nodding one last time at Stiles. "Have a good life, Stilinski." Then he walks back to his own table and kisses Lydia in the mouth. Their eyes briefly meet over Jackson's shoulder, and she, too, smirks before giving her full attention and brightest smile to Jackson.

It's the closest thing to an apology Stiles could get from Jackson. It's good enough.

Senior year passes by in a blur. Lacrosse finals find BHHS winning against Devenford Prep for the first time in many years. Stiles says goodbye to the track team and grimaces his way through Coach Finstock's speech about how the losers left on the team better start watching werefox documentaries to learn how to match up to the speed of one. Prom comes and goes. A whirlwind of college acceptance letters, and then graduation.

Stiles and Theo work through a long-distance relationship. With Theo attending UCLA - where Tara is taking her graduate studies - to study architecture and Stiles attending a pre-FBI program in Quantico while gearing up for criminology. It's both a surprise and not. Stiles has always admired the work of his father, appreciates law enforcement. And though he never particularly voiced his desire to follow the same steps, his parents support his decision. And so does Theo.

They communicate a lot, but it unavoidably almost fractures their relationship the first year apart. The end of the second year finds them agreeing to take a break from the courting without fully being uncommitted. Stiles struggles the first half of the third year, missing Theo so much and worrying about him finding someone else in his absence. When they come home for Christmas break during the fourth year, Theo drives Stiles up to the Preserve creek.

They sit on the tailgate of Theo's old truck, flushed against each other, their pinky fingers twining in between them. Stiles can feel Theo's Wolf Knight band against his finger and smiles to himself. After they broke up, they never talked about returning or removing the rings. It was to stay true to the plan to pick up their relationship when time allows them a better chance.

Theo hops off the truck, Stiles tracking his movements like he always does. Theo rolls his pant hems up and steps into the flowing water, picking a handful of pebbles and throwing them one by one back a little further.

"You'll be staying in Virginia after graduation, right?" Theo asks suddenly.

Stiles's mouth opens in surprise, hesitates, closes again. Then he clears his throat, "Yeah," he replies tentatively. "How did you know?"

"Your dad told me," Theo admits without breaking his pace.

Stiles sighs. He says weakly, "I was going to tell you."

No answer.

"It's only for a couple of years," he adds abruptly. "Scott's dad, he's an agent, put in a recommendation, and his seniors are recruiting me into the Bureau after my final exams. And they'll be assigning me specifically to the Omega Special Task Force. I just- think I'll do a really great job specializing the omega cases." he finishes, voice getting quieter in the last few words.

Theo stops, turns to Stiles, smiling faintly. "I'm sure you'll be one of the best."

"Are you- " Stiles pauses, dreading the answer to his next question. It's only been companionable thus far, but this crucial discussion about their relationship is always going to come. "Are you upset? Do you want to... terminate our commitment? For real?"

Theo gets off the water, drops all the remaining pebbles with a splash save for one, and walks into Stiles's space without hesitation. He pushes the pebble into Stiles's palm - another heart-shaped one would you look at that - and takes Stiles's face in between his hands. Their gazes lock, and he says, "My love is not fragile, Stiles. It can wait."

Stiles's breath catches. They have never used the word love in their relationship before. But after all this time, he knows what they have is that. He closes his hand tightly around the pebble.

"I love you, too," Stiles whispers.

Theo smiles wide, "Just think of this like that time the Fox Prince and his Wolf Knight had to part to work on making themselves ready, their warring clans consumed by old vendetta ready, for when they fall back together."

They drive back home more faithful of their bond that by the time Christmas and New Year are over, Theo drives Stiles to the airport without the anxiety of separation but the anticipation of seeing each other again.

Two years fly by quickly. They see each other twice in that period: once when Theo and Stiles's parents visit him together. And the other when Theo visits him alone.

They talk through Skype and Facetime and the old school phone call, sometimes with their other friends, too. About what they've been up to, their work, their plans. Theo's been busy; overseeing a project for the past year now, but he says it's almost through. He tells Stiles that he can show it when he comes home for Christmas - two years from the first Christmas when they said their first 'I love you'.

Theo picks him up at the airport, and Stiles launches straight into his arms. He nuzzles Theo's neck, practically inhaling the scent he's yearned for so much, mumbling how much he misses him and pulls him into a passionate kiss right there in the crowded arrival area.

Stiles's parents host the Christmas dinner with the assistance of Theo's parents. Tara comes home, a beta boyfriend named Jordan in tow, who's, coincidentally, Sheriff Stilinski's newest deputy. Melissa comes over with Scott and Allison. Isaac and Kira, too, who's four months pregnant with their first child. When it's time for the presents, Theo leans into Stiles and whispers in his ear that his gift is outside.

Everyone shuffles to the backyard, and Stiles gasps when he sees it: a bed of the first edition copies of The Fox Prince - all 365 of them - lying on the grass in the shape of a heart, surrounded by candles and a smattering of rose petals. Theo moves forward, handing one to Stiles, open to a specific page. Stiles can suddenly hear his heart thundering in his ears because he thinks he knows what he will see when he looks down.

"Spend the rest of your life with me, my Fox Prince."

"My afterlife is yours as well, my Wolf Knight."

Stiles's mother starts to weep behind him, his dad consoling her. Kira is crying, too, full-on sobbing in Isaac's chest. Pregnancy hormones, she will say later. Scott looks like he's close to losing it, too. After all, they're his best friends. And this is a long time coming.

Theo takes Stiles's hand in his, caressing the ring on his finger, the one he slipped into Stiles many years ago.

"Spend the rest of your life with me, my Fox Prince," he says.

Stiles's throat closes up, his eyes welling up in tears. "My afterlife is yours as well," he replies in kind, voice hitching. "My Wolf Knight."

***

vi. take me home where we met so many years before

"Almost there," Theo says, guiding a blindfolded Stiles to the backyard of his childhood home.

Stiles chuckles, holding onto Theo's hand. "Where are you taking me?"

Theo snorts, "Yeah, it's not like you don't have these directions memorized by now."

"Right, okay," concedes Stiles. "So we're going to the treehouse," Stiles laughs, stumbling a little and Theo catching him immediately. "But why?"

"I told you, my wedding gift to you is in there."

"I'm really starting to feel insufficient," Stiles mutters in a half-assed complaint. "First, you give me a real-life 18 karat omega gold ring from my favorite manga's limited collectible items - when you were seventeen. Then you buy me the entire first edition collection of said manga, which, by the way, I'm still not convinced that you got on e-Bay." Stiles practically hears Theo's eyes rolling. "And now, you have this mysterious wedding gift that took you a while, and probably a lot of money, to acquire. But then there's me. Aside from my lifelong devotion and virginity, I gave you nothing on par with what you've given to me."

They stop, Theo taking off his blindfold. Stiles blinks, mouth falling open at the sight of pictures and hanging lights adorning the outside of the treehouse, like a waterfall of stars and memories.

Stiles climbs the same rickety ladder, almost brains himself from the same protruding nail by the door, they have to crouch low to fit inside, the wood planks are old and creaky, and the window is slightly smaller than Stiles's head now. The space is clear save for Stiles's old mini bookshelf full of werewolf and werefox tales, the blue paint is faded, but the branches are still mindfully trimmed for the stars to be visible through the same skylight of their childhood. Stiles thinks it's even more amazing now with the years of memories it holds.

In the center, where the pictures and hanging lights cascade more densely, is a velvet box.

Stiles laughs from inexplicable joy. "I'm already married to you. Why are you still gifting me more rings?"

Theo nudges him forward, "Open it."

Stiles kneels, takes the box, and opens it.

"A key?" He turns to Theo, curious. "A key to what?"

Theo smiles his little lopsided one that always makes Stiles's heart tumble. "To the palace that the Wolf Knight built for his Fox Prince."

Stiles stops short, eyes widening. The project that Theo's been working on for close to two years now, that he's very secretive about. It makes sense now. Stiles almost investigated but reckons Theo will tell him in time. And finally, the key to that pet project is in Stiles's hands.

"Someone told me before that omegas create the den," Theo adds, kneeling in after Stiles. He wipes the wayward tear that escapes Stiles's eye. "And you're wrong, you know. You give me everything I need. I can't wait for you to turn our house into a home."

Stiles sniffles, shaking his head. "I don't deserve you."

"You deserve the world," corrects Theo.

And, oh, Stiles can't believe his luck.

***

[tundrainafrica]

Which would you say are your favorite fanfics ever? (Levihan ofc)

Okay, I don’t think I’m the best judge of what’s quality or not quality cause I ain’t no writing authority so I cannot vouch for whether you will like these fics or not. But I am a firm believer that good writing makes readers feel things and leaves a lasting impression. 

So lemme rephrase the question… What fics left a lasting impression?

So brace yourself for one hell of a ride while I talk about fanworks that just fucked me up in the following ways: 

Caused me to irrationally hate one random character

Made me forget something isn’t canon

Made me completely rearrange my day because I completely f-ed myself up.

Made me feel guilty for fucking up the view count because I keep going back there.

Makes me remember the fic as an aesthetic, not as actual words. Like literally I will imagine the setting almost perfectly in my head and like when I try to remember what happened, I don’t really remember the writing style or anything, but I could probably create a sim house about how exactly I imagined the house to look like or the yard to look like.

Changed the way I approach fic reading.

I don’t wanna spoil these fics because I’m assuming people are gonna read it so as much as I wanna make a long ass detailed review about why I love each of them, I won’t. I’ll probably just mention what the hell I was doing when I read the fic and how I completely fucked myself over. 

I probably will miss some since I’m just listing these out from the top of my head. So here goes…And I’m only posting completed fics because I’m just that way. 

Second chance by @fanmoose12

This is my comfort fic. The first time I read this fic, it was like 4am or 5am in the morning and I remember after reading it once, I read it like 5 more times that day. 

This is literally the fic I just randomly open on my computer at work on some incognito tab when I’m just tired from all the shit they make us do at work and this is the random fic that I just open up when I feel like reading. And this is one of the fics I plan on showing my children one day when I explain to them what love is. 

This isn’t depressing so I guess it doesn’t fall in the ‘fucked me over’ category but definitely one of the fics I read too many times to count that I remember it scene by scene like some simp. 

Partners by fanmoose12

Woops, one exception for WIPs. I just had to post this here because it definitely left a lasting impression. 

This was the first AU I have ever read and been invested in and I have been reading fanfiction since before I could remember and I have always stuck to canonverse fics until I got into Levihan. 

This fic got me into the AU genre and I have never read AUs in my life before this so I think that says a lot about how much this fic means to me. 

Somewhere Only We Know by @someonestolemyshoes

It’s not completely posted in ao3 yet. But since I beta-ed the fic, I finished it long before SSMS posted it but this fic. It started slow so it took me a week of on and off work to get through  but I got through the second part of the fic, the last 30,000 words  incredibly fast. I vividly remembered reading those last final scenes over breakfast completely in shock while my whole family was there. I literally had to leave the room and take my dog out for a second walk . 

I remember the aesthetic of the overall story vividly enough to actually make a moodboard of it and spend a good 1 hour going through country side pics after finishing it. . 

Yellow by @ariadneamare​

God, this fic. I read this over a day of work. Like breakfast, first few thousand words, Lunch next few thousand words. And I finished the rest before bed and oh god, this is the type of fic that builds a great aesthetic, some lightness and just to fuck you over in the end. 

I like to compare it to a longer and AU version of Pristine in terms of how it strings emotions along. I know they’re two completely different fics but the energy of the fic, the stream of emotions on how it strings you along is fairly similar. 

This is literally one of those fics where I’m just having a good day, and my mind goes ‘remember that one fic’ and I just wrinkle my nose like ‘yeah THAT FIC’ 

Pristine by @mannatea​

I’m sure everyone has read this, it’s practically a classic and I cannot count the number of people who told me it was depressing and I do not know why I did not believe them. I read this while waiting in line for milk tea. I lost my place in line around the time I finished that last part and just gave up on buying milk tea.

It has this build up, this incredibly fluffy build up which won’t make you think it will end the way it did. 

Well. you know a fic is good when you know it’s gonna end a certain way but you allow yourself to get strung along anyway. 

A Simple Choice by just-quintessentially-me

This is one of those fics for me that double as an aesthetic piece and a plot piece. I remember INCREDIBLY WELL, the road I was imagining that they were walking through and it satisfied my hurt comfort feels as well. Definitely one of my favorite 115-126 fics and one of the first ones I read in the fandom for sure. 

So those are the english fics, I have to Japanese fics that fall in that category. 

(For anyone who knows Japanese I guess but I personally think they’re worth a google translate.)

熱に浮く(Feverish Dream)

Classic canon compliant. Hange takes care of Levi when he’s sick fic but there are misunderstandings here, they contemplate their relationship and they are incredibly emotionally constipated here. Definitely one of the classics imo and it feeds my need for hurt/comfort.

前世なんてクソだと言う女と 全て忘れた男 

(A girl who thinks past lives are not real and a boy who forgot everything)

Hange is a teacher, Levi is a janitor. Hange remembers stuff and Levi doesn’t and just really cute stuff. 

I’m pretty sure you guys are tired of me rambling about how much this fic means to me but really, I wrote a Tale of Two Slaves (Which is just brushing 100k words already) because this was just so beautiful it got me into the reincarnation genre.

私の中の少女、あなたの中の少年

(The girl inside me and the boy inside you) 

Levi and Hange are exes/childhood friends and they meet again in a matchmaking party. This is just the greatest balance between emotional constipation and love. The premise was just perfect for the type of build up 

Closest thing I’m gonna drop to smut here. Will leave my smut recs for another post but I’m low key really still thinking whether or not I should expose myself by dropping my favorite Levihan smut pieces hahaha.

Filo Socmed AUs

A lot of these probably aren’t google translatable since Tagalog google translate sucks but if anyone is interested, most Filo Socmed AUs have a fair amount of English so it’s coherent. I guess? I completely forget though how much is in English and how much is in Tagalog but these are the Filo Socmed AUs I REALLY remember and really go back to. 

Vividly Remembered 

This one got me blowing my days worth of salary on some meal in a restaurant because I didn’t wanna go back home to my house yet so I remember just crying over a meal while finishing up this fanfiction instead of going home. 

Basically a fic where Levi and Hange were together already and were about to get married already but shit happened. I irrationally hate Nanaba because of this Socmed AU. Like everytime I see Nanaba, i think of this Socmed AU and I just hate her again. 

Photographs 

Levi and Hange are part of the photography club and shit happens. I remember being behind on work because I decided to take a three hour lunch break to finish this AU. This satisfied my sick Levi craving in so many ways (especially after reading Yellow)

Wherein Levi doesn’t have social media accounts and Hange is the class beadle

This last one just has the overall aesthetic of my own university so it really stuck tbh. And the premise of the build up is just incredibly cute. 

These are the ones I can remember from the top of my head so I’m sure these are among my favorites. I’ll definitely update this as I read more.

[but-the-library-of-alexandria]

A Character Questionnaire

Here’s my character questionnaire for writing and/or rpgs! They’re a mix of stuff that comes up surprisingly often though you wouldn’t think of it, stuff that seems meaningless but tells you a lot about someone, and stuff that just entertains me.

Why is your character called what they’re called? Who picked their name, and why? (and I don’t mean you, I mean in-story.) Does it mean anything?

You know how your character looks, but why do they look like that? Why do they wear their hair like that, or choose those clothes? 

How is this character’s relationship with their hometown? What about where they live now, if it isn’t the same place?

Can this character sing, play an instrument and/or dance? Do they?

What is this character's role in their friend group? How do their friends see them?

Tell me something cool or stupid this character did when they were younger. 

What motivates this character to take risks, and what tends to hold them back?

Is this character good with kids? What about babies? Preteens?

What draws this character to a potential love interest? (or friend, if they’re not into romance.) Conversely, what’s a personal ‘red flag’ or turn-off for a potential partner?

What do other characters like about this character? What do they not like?

Does this character like people who are like them, or prefer to hang out with people who are very different from them?

What tarot card does your character draw from the deck at the beginning or the turning point of their story? And no, you can’t just pick a card that means ‘beginning of a story’.

How does this character walk, or carry themselves when they stand? Can they sit in chairs normally, or in dumb ways that are bad for their back?

Hogwarts houses are bullshit, but justifying your answer is still interesting.

Jung’s archetypes, however, are great for character building. 

Does this character talk a little, or a lot? Why, and in what way?

Which other character is this one similar to, and what makes them different? Can be someone in-story or from some other piece of media.

How does this character feel about animals or pets?

What is this character afraid of? Give me one deep, meaningful fear and one dumb, surface-level fear, eg. spiders and dying alone. 

What does this character want most out of life?

Does this character generally avoid offending people, or do they tend to cause upset? By accident, on purpose, or in spite of their best efforts?

This character is throwing a party. What is it like? How do they generally behave at parties?

This character is getting married, or organising a wedding for a loved one. What is it like? What do they wear?

What is this character’s attitude towards love, especially romantic love? 

What is their philosophy on life? Does this character believe in fate, karma, ‘everything happens for a reason’ etc? Or do they believe in nothing?

What kind of story or role - be it another genre or a particular example you can think of - would this character do terribly in? And which would they suit better than the one they’re currently in?

What kind of sense of humour does this character have? 

How does this character handle diplomacy?

Is this character more high wisdom, or high intelligence? Both, neither?

What does this character think is their core motivation, and is this different from their real one? 

What’s a quote from another piece of media that makes you think of this character? It can, indeed, be a vine.  

Alcohol? 

What kind of person was this character (or would they be) in high/secondary school? 

Assuming this character lives/lived in this world, what’s their favourite movie?

Does this character tend towards self-deprecating or self-aggrandising humour? Does this differ from how they actually see themselves, or does it reflect it?

If someone was pinning quotes, images etc. from this character to an ~aesthetic~ Pinterest board, what would the board be called? Note: ‘nobody would see aesthetic value in anything relating to this character’ is a valid answer. 

Who does this character trust, and why? You can say ‘nobody’, but only if it’s actually true.

How does this character feel about their height? 

Who has this character stolen personality traits from? We all do it. Their friends, siblings, partners, celebrities, fictional characters?

Can this character ‘code switch’, or are they consistent in how they talk to all kinds of people? 

Are they an optimist, a pessimist, or something else?

How does this character feel about traditions and institutions?

How would a preteen fanfic writer say your character smells? The formula is: one thing that smells good, one thing that smells kinda questionable, and one thing that definitely doesn’t have a smell or even a corporeal form. 

Does this character have a good memory?

What about this character is surprising or non-stereotypical, given the rest of their personality? eg. are they a barbarian who loves to crochet, a sweetheart with hidden anger issues, a genius who can’t read 24hr clocks? 

In what way is this character hypocritical or contradictory? No real person makes perfect sense or plays true to their values all the time. 

Coffee or tea?

What would this character’s DnD class be? And if this character already is a DnD character, what class would they play if they played DnD? 

Is this character datable, or are they hirable? ‘Both’ should not be an option, but ‘neither’ is.

Free question: just state some dumb, random detail about this character. 

I highly recommend filling in this and any other character questionnaire with maximum humour, tangents and breaking of rules. 

Link to the google doc for better formatting.