#my little ketchup packet

[mixakuu]

Absolutely feral for this man 💛

[punkitt-is-here]

rainbow dash plays against a mysterious new opponent

[somegrumpynerd]

I'm about to be off for a few days so I was leaving some extra food out to hopefully hold the little guy over until I'm back, and I saw him again!

He kind of stared me down for a bit like this but he didn't immediately run when he saw me so... progress? Hopefully I left enough to keep him well fed, I might drop by on a day off just to check

Will keep you all updated c:

[ask-circleswithincircles-archive]

wed love to see clasp !!

Four Handed Clasp is now available for asks.

[midoribai]

Sorry I should’ve clarified that was /lh. I was intentionally like acting ‘like a remix’

-owo

:3 its okay

[skaluli]

legacy tord

tord : babe it’s not uteryou , it’s uterus

[bngurngheart]

I died at “my little ketchup packet”

Hi! Can I make a request for a moodboard with texts?? Noah trying to make you smile when you're on your very painful, very bloody period. Please take your time. I love you 😘😘😘

i love youuu 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[nishibai]

when you love a character everything they do becomes a lot cuter

[obsessedwrhys]

I would like to request being sickly sweet/mushy with ROTTMNT Leo- I'm talking always kissing, cuddling, holding hands, giggling, holding/carrying each other around and even using the most dramatic names (mostly to mess with the rest of the Hamato family- April included) ie. Calling each other shmoopie poo and stuff like that

LOVESICK!LEO DATING HEADCANONS

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ major fluff, lots of cheesy stuff, reader is fem!! (I love this ask sm)

To put it together, you both act like those highschool sweethearts.

One wouldn't be seen without the other, everyone just immediately sees you two as a pair that does everything together.

The dates would be so over the top too.

The most recent one would be when he prepared a dinner date on top of a musuem so you guys could enjoy the view. The place completely decorated with flowers and fairy lights.

Ya'll would definitely have matching things. It doesn't matter if it's a bracelet, necklace or onesie. You both just have the urge to have something that reminds you of the other person.

Which comes easily that you'd own something of his and him having something of yours.

Apparently he had given you his old bandana when he had gotten a new one. Instead of leaving it lying around to catch dust, you decided to use it as a ribbon for a hairtie. Trust that the first time he saw you with it, dude was levitating with heart eyes.

For him, you had gifted him a scarf. He was on cloud nine when he got it because it was entirely your scent. He would smell it every now and then or just wear it when you'd be busy with your daily tasks. It brings him comfort.

That's why everytime you visited after a long time, he'd completely shower you with cuddles and kisses. He doesn't really care if his family sees. Boy is just overjoyed to finally spend time with you again.

Even though his family are happy for him. They honestly wished he could tone it down a bit.

That's because he wouldn't even focus during patrols or missions because he'd just be talking about you. It drives his brothers nuts sometimes.

"Aw man! I forgot to tell (Y/N) goodnight!" Leo panicked.

"We're fighting off a huge squid monster and THATS your concern?!!" Donnie shouted while fending off one of the tentacles.

To be clear, the family doesn't hate you, they are actually welcoming towards you. It's just HIM they find annoying.

It got even worse when they overheard the petnames you both had for each other.

Ranging from petnames such as Booboo Bear to my little ketchup packet (???)

It's worst when he says them in a baby voice towards you.

"Here's your food! I got it all for my shnookums wookums" He'd say as he caresses your face.

Since he's so in love with you, he's willing to give you piggyback rides and carry you around the lair. He's so dramatic with it too.

"Make way!!! The queen is headed to the kitchen!!" He'd shout, making your grand entrance known to everyone nearby.

He has once pushed Donnie aside when he wouldn't move out of the way.

Also, Leo enjoys kissing you a lot. I'm just saying 🤷🏻‍♀️

His favourite spots to kiss you would be easily your cheeks. He finds them super cute that he wishes he would just leave his lips on there forever.

If you happen to have a mole on your face or anywhere on your body, he's kissing it, that's cause he sees it as a marking for him.

One thing I wanna say is that you two happen to have this weird habit of acting out scenes from any tv series you guys would watch together.

It catches the family off guard sometimes because you guys would just break into character out of nowhere.

Scenario ↴

"Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, could you pass me the salt?" You'd ask and Leo would suddenly turn to face you with a soft smirk.

"Oh my sugar-plum, here you go, just the way you love it" He'd say in a more dramatic voice as he hands it to you.

"Uh oh..."

"Oh, you know me so well. A little sprinkle of love… and salt" You'd say, sprinkling the salt into your soup.

"I always do sprinkle a little bit of extra salt in your life, you know... to keep things exciting" He winks at you which earns a disgusted groan out of his brother.

"Uuugggh!! C'mon!!!"

"Don't get carried away now cuppy-cake. I still want you to enjoy our lovely soup" You'd say, feeding him a spoonful that he drinks with a satisfied hum.

"It's perfect... just perfect. We must celebrate this!! To eternal love, salted and peppered!!" Leo would say, holding up his drink, pretending it was wine as he takes a huge gulp from it.

"You guys need help and I mean serious help" April said, pointing her spoon at both of you.

It's always fun to act it out (only for you two) because it would end with you and him bursting into laughter everytime.

Last thing I wanna add is that Leo definitely prepares the bed before you guys cuddle.

He always make sure everything is in place. The pillows, the blankets, some squishmallows, whatever it is that you need!!!

Honestly? He is 100% a loverboy.

[trashmouth-richie]

eddie x reader ; a very light hint of steve x reader

a follow up to this which is a follow up of this

tw 18+ content, tied up, temperature play, steve is baby girl himbo in this very s3 coded, eddie is jealous + mean.

“that tickles, wow, cold— ow, very very cold— shit, shit!”

You slap a hand over his mouth, wide eyes staring into yours as if he is scared beyond belief.

“Shhhhh..” you press a chaste kiss to the underside of his jaw. 

Your body was pressed in his, an ice cube held limply in your fingers as you traced it along his veiny shaft. Leaving goosebumps on his summer tanned skin. 

“Eddie is home, do you want him to know that we’re fooling around? Cause I prefer to keep my bedroom adventures private.”

“No, no! You’re right, it’s just— really cold, when you said you wanted to get freaky I thought maybe you had a friend or something to go up my ass? I don’t know!” 

You stare at him, waiting for him to say he was kidding but it never came. You sit up, the ice melting on your fingers dripping onto his sack, little whimpers from his mouth. 

“Alright… King Steve is curious about assplay, noted. We can unpack that another time— for now, it’s either the ice or nothing, you choose.” 

You kiss his chest, waiting for him to decide. He’s mumbling to himself, and you work your fingers in between the tufts of hair, eyes on him, your nipples skimming over his hot skin. 

“…okay! Okay fine! Can I kiss you maybe?” 

Steve was stretched like a voodoo doll across your bed, large hands tied to each bed post, unable to reach you, his lip in a pout as he attempted to wiggle his wrists free. 

“Keep trying to get out of your restraints and you won’t be kissing me anywhere.”

He huffed, a strand of caramel hair tousling into his forehead, “I mean they’re tight— like really tight, you sure this is normal?”

You rolled your eyes and sat up again to examine the human ken doll that was played by Steve Harrington for the evening. 

His wrists were red, fingers pale… fuck. 

You tug at the knots, trying to wedge your fingers beneath them, and after five minutes of you trying you could see Steve’s hands looking worse.

“Alright— don’t panic!” you announced, sliding from the bed and pushing your arms through the red silk robe hanging from your closet, “and don’t move…. I’ll be…” scissors! “yeah, I’ll be right back!”

“What!? You can’t just leave me like th—!” he hollers your name and you try to muffle his calls of distress by shutting your door quickly.

Eddie was in his room, you could hear him playing his guitar— and he prayed he didn’t hear the muffled pleas from Steve. 

Rifling through the kitchen junk drawer you find everything but the scissors. Chopsticks from too many late night orders of chinese takeout, ketchup packets, pens, a pack of markers, Eddie’s fake ID he had in high school, Wayne’s expired ID he tried to use at the gas station when you were sixteen and more rope. 

The pair of you didn’t own a knife set, never having cooked anything that required culinary skills— you were at a loss— the only option left was to ask Eddie for his pocket knife. Goddamnit.

The walk to his room felt like miles long, and honestly you would have preferred if you never got there. His door was open, the low times of his acoustic guitar filled the air along with a haze of smoke. 

A quick rap on his door and Eddie was looking up at you, cigarette limp from his lips, as he motions to the other side of his room with a nod of his head. 

“…ham & pineapple no pepperonis, cash on the dresser.” 

“What? Oh yeah, sure— forgot it’s Friday. Hey, ummm. I need a favor.” 

Eddie smirks and shakes his head, “I’m not loaning you anymore bud, you already owe you twenty.” 

“No— I’m not here for free weed, I need your knife.” 

His eyebrows quirk and he waits for you to ask his silent “why?”

“It’s an emergency.” 

“Your boss sucks sweetheart, 100%— but you can’t kill him.” 

“Eddie shut up,” you whine, stomping your foot, “I just need to borrow it—I'll give it right back!”

He rolls his eyes, leaning over to grab his knife from his back pocket, “tell me what you need it for.” 

You stare at him, mouth open, “I…can’t.” 

“Okay? and why not?”

Your name is heard in a wail from your room and your cheeks heat with embarrassment. 

“is someone in there?”

Scrubbing your hands down your face you finally admit it, “Yes! Jesus fuck! Now will you please either help me or give me the knife, he’s stuck!”

It takes everything in Eddie to try not to laugh, but he simple hides his lips and nods, thinking to himself what kid. of shit you’d gotten into now, and with who?

He follows you into your room, watching your form move beneath the silk robe, trying to keep his eyes from staring too long or imagining what lie beneath the thin fabric. 

Your eyes are covered when you open the door so you miss the shock on Steve’s face to see his best friend walk into your room. His dick is still out, laying against his hairy thigh, and the only thing he can do is an awkward jock head nod followed by a “sup?”

Thankful that he has a good poker face, Eddie nods back, ears crimson in anger, biting his tongue as he flips the blade out with flare. Behind his dark eyes He was fuming. 

Steve? 

STEVE HARRINGTON?

Of all people you could have tied up in here in some makeshift attempt at whatever you thought you were doing— it had to be him.

Heads would fucking roll when this was over and him and Steve were alone. 

Slicing through the ropes like they were nothing, Eddie simply raises his eyebrows and shakes his head, leaving with his mind grinding like gears on how to stop this from happening again. 

—

“Thanks for calling Family Video. Our hours are 10-10 Sunday through Saturday, stop in to rent our latest releases, this is St—”

“Harrington.”

“Hey man, hey— thanks for uh, helping me out the other night. I really o—”

“Yeah, you do,” the cord bounces on the floor as Eddie turns the corner, looking back at you in the living room asleep on the couch— walking to his room,  “that’s why whenever she calls… you are going to make up whatever excuse that big hair of yours can..”

“Wait..?”

Eddie grits your name out through clenched teeth. 

“If she calls to hang out, you will find a reason not to, y’ catch my drift, pal?” 

“Ye-yeah, sure thing… what should I say?”

“I don’t care Harrington, make something up… tell her you have a girlfriend, you have the measles, I really don’t give a fuck what it is, as long as I never have to walk into her room and see your dick again.”

Steve narrows his eyes, blurring the neon lights in the video store, “dude, what the hell?” 

“Sarah is single— I’ll give you her numb—”

“Okay? But so is she, why are you acting like an asshole right now?”

You. He was being a dick because of you. Sick and tired of you not willing to admit you both had feelings for eachother, and he was ready to pull out the big guns in order to make it happen. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

taglist: @likedovesinthewnd @dashingdeb16 @joejoequinnquinn @min-geniusx @ho3forfakeguys @taintedcigs @b-irock @queenimmadolla @serasvictoria @the-unforgivenn @curlyjoequinn @munsonlore @eiightysixbaby @munsonburn3r

[caterpillarinacave]

HAVE Y'ALL NOT HAD CONCRETE MIXERS???

okay now i have to ask, re your last answer, what is a concrete mixer?

@loweqxpectations

It's basically a Dairy Queen blizzard but like a million times better. Higher quality ice cream that's actually custard.

[seat-safety-switch]

To my parole officer, I am sorry. I didn't last very long at the Honda dealership. Too many people wanted me to sell them cars that they didn't need. If I can be accused of a crime, it's honesty. And also I stole a lot of snacks out of the customer coffee section, but I'm pretty sure that's below the threshold to be prosecutable. Strictly small-claims-court shit.

I'm sure you've attempted to buy a car, or at least fantasized about it. One of the peculiar aspects of our civilization is that everyone is expected to have at least one chunk of steel that weighs between two and ten thousand pounds, which they use to go to the grocery store. Because of the inherent paranoia of our society, folks buying cars gravitate towards the heavy ones that make them feel big and strong and immune to consequences. They are, in their modern-day tank, protected from every other dipshit on the road, who is also driving a heavy vehicle that makes them feel big and strong and immune to consequences.

Someone needed to break this cycle. Politicians won't – telling folks they should buy a slightly smaller, or lighter, or more fun car is career suicide. Most people, despite their claims to be rational, research-guided adherents to Reason, actually buy cars based on the dealership experience and The Holy Test Drive. That's where I inserted myself, to tell everyone maybe to buy a slightly smaller car.

Now, I'm no dummy. I understood the value of margins, especially as they affected my commission. They were still the same value of car, but much smaller and more fun. No, where I think I went wrong was my sales strategy.

Placing a child-sized mannequin, pumped full of pressurized ketchup (courtesy of the Burger King across the street, it takes forever to steal all those little packets,) in the blind spot of a large vehicle during a test drive. That was a faulty plan. Backing over a humanoid water balloon full of tomato entrails may make great television, but it doesn't endear people to buy a smaller car after all. If it wasn't for all the bribes I took to "make all this go away," I wouldn't have made any money at all in this job.

[sanjisblackasswife]

More Embarrassing/Funny Moments in Bed with Them (Crack/NSFW)

Part 1 Here

Black Fem Reader in Mind

I read more Reddit post.

Ft. Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Law, Ace, Shanks

Luffy

You were going down on him and you felt something hit your head, you look up and see Luffy was eating a pizza and a piece of meat fell (he ate the meat btw), he looks at you and ask why did you stop and you asked why was he eating and he proceeded to say, “Because eating food taste 10x better when you’re sucking me off, y/n. Duh. You should try it.”

When it was your turn, He gave you a cookie to eat while he ate you out and you almost choked when you started to cum.

Zoro

He was hitting it from the back and he wanted to slap your ass, but somehow miscalculated and slapped his own balls very harshly. He let out a shriek that to this day you cry laughing at.

You sometimes call him “Ball Slapper Zoro”

Sanji

He was inside you with his face buried in your neck, eventually he came to a stop and you opened your eyes and heard him crying. When you got a good look at his face his eyes were pink and snot was rolling down his nose.

When you asked him what was wrong he shook his head and simply said “Your pussy just feels so good.” And cried some more.

Bonus because I’m biased: You, Sanji, And Zoro had to share a room while out on an island, you and him shared a bed while Zoro was on the floor, Sanji wanted to cum on your breast but he got startled by Zoro waking up yelling “Stop fucking!” And it accidentally got in Zoro’s hair.

He is now Cumhead instead of Mosshead

Law

You were riding him, and he underestimated how good you’d be at bouncing his cock his toes began to curl so hard he got a foot cramp.

He pushed you off of him and he fell off the bed losing balance.

Ace

Ace was a bit tired, but still wanted to have some lazy sex, so he held you from behind on the bed and decided to fuck you slow from the side, without looking he shoved his cock inside you and said, “Fuck you’re tight today.” And you said, “Yeah because that’s my ass.”

Another bonus: He was eating you out and got hair stuck on his tongue, usually he would lick your thigh to rub it off, but it wouldn’t come off so he stopped and did a bunch of spitting noises (ya know like pftpftpftpftpftpth trynna get it off.)

Shanks

You told him you didn’t want to have sex on your period but he literally did not care. When he started to pound into you, he hit a spot and you squirted AND queefed a little on his abs and it freaked you out because it looked like he just killed an animal or something.

You tried getting out of his grip feeling so embarrassed but Shanks being Shanks Just smiles, rubs your thighs and says “Look at you…my little ketchup packet.”

[ask-circleswithincircles-archive]

I stand by my point that Clasp is a precious bean that must be protected at all costs

[midoribai]

agreed... but its the only sandwich spread we had so...

- 🎐

"What."

"This is.. very strange of you to do."

[str4ngr]

was it worth it?

k. sakusa. | my drug, my addiction.

cw: angst no comfort, foul language, ooc/ dramaticized his 'germaphobia' for the plot, no established relationship, first date, gn! reader. wc: 670. notes: so... write a comfort or not? not proofread.

Everything felt a lot colder now. The A.C. of the diner, the cushion of the seat you sat on, the iced coffee you drank.

Sakusa had gone to the restroom, grumbling about needing to wash his hands. You had barely touched, let alone grazed, his hand when you leaned over to grab a ketchup packet. It was the same, always like this. Of course he would be disgusted by you, utterly revolted.

⋆

Komori was the one who set you two up, being friends with you, he told Sakusa he wanted him to "expand your social circle!"

Komori was far too nice. He was, truely, a kind soul, who probably meant no harm when he added in his offer to Sakusa,

"What? C'mon! I'll buy you a meal if you can last a full date."

So he went. Maybe it was against his morals. But he went. He watched you order. He watched you go and wash your hands. Fuck, you even bought him those cute mini hand sanitizers as a gift for him!

Sakusa felt like utter shit that he couldn't even handle an accidental touch from you as he scrubbed his hands. It wasn't like you were nasty, or dirty, but he couldn't fight is need to.

⋆

Your brows were pinched together as you slowly ate a fry, unentertained and, frankly, ashamed. Your food felt like a waste because of how your stomach twisted in disappointment. What could you have expected? The name 'Sakusa Kiyoomi' has always been associated with a cold stare and crude words. So how could you come to the conclusion that he would be any different because his cousin offered a blatantly false idea of a date?

You sighed as you wrapped up your sandwich, placing it back in your bag along with your fries. You quietly waited for him to return.

⋆

Sakusa finally returned, pale fingertips pruned and flushed as he sat back down across you. His eyes met yours as he asked, his tone lacking any merciful softness,

"What?"

It was sharp and quick, your lips pursed and your eyes fell from his face,

"Why?"

One word conversation were weird. While saying so little, everything meant so much. Just like now. Neither of you said it, but it was obvious. You knew, he knew, and now you were both stuck in limbo of discomfort and disappointment. His eyes snapped to your repackaged food, and they widened. Your phone was no longer on the table, your coat was back on,

"Wait— What?"

Sakusa's voice was more desperate. What was happening? What mistake did he just make? He watched how your eye brows pulled tighter and he wished he had the strength to pull them back to when they were smiling.

Was this attraction? Sakusa couldn't tell. But, he could say his stomach dropped when you held your take out bag a little tighter. He heart beat in his ears as your voice shook,

"You... don't want to be here, right?"

Sakusa sucked his cheek in, face tight. That wasn't a question he expected. He was hoping this would be like those interviews, What's your volleyball position? How did you become one of the best aces? Blah. Blah. Blah. It wasn't, and now Sakusa had to decide whether to give into the saddening curve of your eyes or deal with Komori's teasing. His answer was no. Truthfully, but he needed to say yes.

"No."

The word falls from his lips and he watches as your expression becomes tighter. His fingers twitched on his lap and Sakusa wished he could've been kinder. He won't tell you, he won't weigh you down further than his indifference already had.

"Then it's okay. We can just end it here."

He could tell your smile wasn't real. He could tell you struggled to push those words past the lump in your throat. He felt the same. Sakusa Kiyoomi truely wasn't such a merciless man, and you capture a glimpse of his guilt as he breathlessly whisper,

"Okay."

notes: exhausted. jaded. in tears.