#my life is very boring but it is pleasurable even if the sleep has been minimal as of late

[bitch-butter]

Dear Anon idk what happened but your Ask has disappeared! god willing you see this, wherever you are ~ 💕🎄🥂

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

that my time has come and gone and nobody cares about what i do or don't do so i should just like enjoy my retirement lol

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

it's the one thing i do where i feel completely comfortable and completely myself.

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

a. in the morning i write at the kitchen counter. i get up around 5 and shower, feed fiona, and make a cup of coffee. i sit in a tall black chair i have to be very careful getting into because i'm short. i keep the lights off so the light doesn't leak down the hall and wake hannah up, and after a few bites of her breakfast fiona will usually hop onto the counter for a pet then go back to sleep with her. i look out over the kitchen, which is small but relatively clean (cluttered countertops because hannah loves kitchen accessories), and our fridge which has tons of pictures of hannah and her friends, postcards from my friends who live in other places, and a big picture of Princess Diana i tore out of a magazine. my coffee cup has strawberries on it, and i drink and write in the dark for about an hour before i get up and get ready for the day.

b. in the afternoon i write at work, but only when the girl who sits behind me isn't in the office. next week i'll move into the clergy offices where my Real desk is, but the woman i'm replacing is retiring at the end of the day and until then i sit at the front desk. it's not a good desk, it's too small, and the office chair is uncomfortable because it was configured for a pregnant woman's body and i can't reset it. it's usually really quiet in here, which is such a beautiful change from where i used to be. on the wall over my desk i get to watch security cameras, and on days when hannah comes to pick me up after work i can see the lights of her car pulling into the alley and it makes me feel loved. because it isn't my real desk nothing on it is made to stay, but i inherited a plant from the lady who retires today. i'm taking it home later.

c. at night before bed or when i can't sleep i write on the couch, which has lots of pink pillows with strawberry motifs, in our living room. i prefer having the lamp on, but sometimes i just turn the tree on because it's pink and beautiful with multi-colored lights and ornaments we bought together and ones given to us by our friends and family. to the left is our big door to the balcony, and it looks out over the pool in the summertime but now just looks out over the covered space and at night we can see our neighbors balconies lit up with christmas lights. i put my feet up on the coffee table which is bad manners, but i need to be able to melt into nothing but the story, so i keep the TV off or low and light frasier fir scented candles so nothing in the world seems bad. our upstairs neighbors are new, and their baby screams and screams and screams until the sun comes up, then i move and sit at the kitchen counter.

[luvneymar]

MOMMY SENSES — NEYMAR JR

— SUMMARY: You wake up to Neymar trying to get some sex but you’re sure that your son is awake.

PARING: fiancé!neymar x fiancée!reader

CONTENT: slightly suggestive ;), neymar had a stupid hard on, Davi is a professional pussyblocker lol

NOTE: I recently watched a show with this scenario & thought it was so cuté 🤭 enjoy! as always this is suited for all types of races, body types & ethnicities!

The feeling of the warm Brazilian sun washed over your peaceful sleeping body which laid next to her awake fiancé, who’s body was draped over your own, head in the crook of your neck & arms wrapped around your waist.

The smell of vanilla perfume crowded his nose as he pulled her sleeping body closer to his shivering in pleasure at the feeling of your plush ass engulfing his hard-on. Just the feeling of being close & intimate with the one he loves the most was an unmatched feeling.

The wind softly blew through the open window, the scent of washed up overnight rain & dewy grass washed over the couple. Bored of watching his fiancée sleep peacefully he decided to kiss down her neck all the way to her collarbone.

“Anjo? Wake up, please?” He pleaded with his sleeping beauty in-between kisses that travelled down her warm back lips making contact will all of the moles decorating her delicate body.

With him pleading in you ear so gently, you couldn’t stay asleep as she slowly woke up moving her hand that rested on the warm silk pillow to her fiancés that rested on her upper arm.

As your warm palm rested on his, the feeling of your diamond ring brushing up against his made you smile softly, if this was the way you were going to wake up everyday for the rest of your life, you was definitely weren’t complaining.

“Mmh?” You hummed out, not wanting to move an inch. The position you were in was just too comfortable to move from. Neymar continued to press kisses down your body rubbing his rough hands up & down your figure.

“Mornin’ my pretty lady.” He muttered into your ear, breath tickling your ear-lobe. You shivered at the feeling of his raspy morning voice all up in your ear.

“Good morning, how was your night?” Your turned Your body around slowly to face her fiancé who had a more than cheeky look on his face. You knew exactly why he did as his boner was the first thing you registered once you regained consciousness.

“Fantastic, I had an amazing dream.” He informed you as he kissing your forehead, Already you had an idea of what the dream was since you had more than a welcoming awakening pressed on your ass when you woke up

“Oh really? What was it about?”

“You. On-top of me. Doing less than appropriate things.” Neymar looked at you with a cheeky smile, before he even finished his sentence he flipped you onto your back mounting himself on-top of you.

“And those things were?” You question giggling at him as he buried his face into your neck kissing down your body. Once he reached your chest he unbutton your pyjamas shirt exposing your breasts.

“Very inappropriate, naughty things.” He whispered before diving his face into your chest clasping his lips around you sensitive nipple. You shivered at the feeling of his tongue swirl around your nipple & how his teeth would bite down on them just enough sting bordering pain & pleasure.

You arched your back body tingling in pleasure as you ran your hands through his locs pushing his head into your chest trying to chase more pleasure.

As you were drowning in pleasure you turned your head glancing at the angry red numbers on the alarm clock; 5:50am. Recently Davi has been walking up at the brink of dawn to sleep in your bed. “As much as I would love for you to show me, we can’t. Davi’s awake.”

Neymar groaned out in frustration but had no intentions of stopping as he muttered back pulling away from your breast just for a second, “It’s okay I’ll be quick.” He whispered, diving right back.

“No seriously! You don’t want our son to walk in on his parents having y’know, sex?” You whispered the last part as if Davi was in the room with you both.

“How can he awake? it’s 5:00am.” You smack his expose back getting him to finally pull away from your chest, as he rose from your breasts he had a slightly annoyed look on his face as he rolled over to lay beside you hand still resting on your breast squeezing it like some stress ball.

“I’m telling you, he’s awake.” You slapped his hand away from your boob & button up your shirt just enough for your girls to be inaccessible from Neymar’s grabby hands.

Neymar looked at you before sliding out of the bed walking towards the door, just before he could reach the door it swung open revealing non other than your son scratching his arm as he held onto his frog stuffy. “Hi daddy.”

Davi greeted his dad who stood there in disbelief as he made his way towards your bed plopping his body where Neymar was previously laying. “Hi mommy!” He greeted you snuggling under the covers.

“Told you.” You mouthed at Neymar who was still standing in the doorway in disbelief as to how you even knew he’d be awake at this time let alone come to your bedroom.

Neymar walked towards the bed joining the bed on your side sandwiching you between your son & your fiancé, you could hear the playful tension rising from Neymar’s side as he pulled your body towards him. “No daddy! Mommy’s mine!”

“I had her first you little squirt.” Davi gripped your shirt pulling you towards his side as he wrapped his arms around your arm squeezing as hard as he could. “That’s not fair daddy! She’s my mommy.”

“And she’s my wife.” He reminded his son as he pulled you towards his side once again copying his son as he wrapped his arms around your arm squeezing as hard as he could.

“Wife to be.” You reminded Neymar sticking your tongue out as you released your arm & turned your back to face him as you cuddle your son leaving your husband to be in the dust.

Davi stuck his tongue out as he hugged you burying his head in your chest as he wrapped his arms around you. “My mommy, daddy.”

[evita-shelby]

A Dull Party

Aka Eva/reader gets invited to the russian orgy and tommy gets pegged fic

Tommy x Eva/reader x Tatiana Petrovna

Cw: smut, nudity, unhealthy lifestyles, debauchery, a threesome, male receiving anal, pegging

Mdni/ 🔞

When he confessed to having considered sleeping with May, he should’ve known you wouldn’t just deny him sex until you felt better about it.

Tommy had seen the new lingerie and assumed you’d add salt to the wound by prancing around in it to remind him of your one rule.

If you fuck a whore, I will fuck a man before I leave. You hurt me, I will hurt you worse, Thomas Shelby.

This you had vowed with your hands wrapped around his prick to get your point across.

You promised him the world at a very low price, monogamy.

Easy, he’d been monogamous before. Greta had been the only woman he’d ever been loyal to until he met you.

And until he found himself alone with May lying about his marital status when she assumed he was unmarried, Tommy had never considered betraying you like that.

He hadn’t done it; he’d almost done it before you called telling him Arthur and Michael had been arrested and framed for Billy Kitchen’s murder.

You hadn’t known until you got it out of him when Tatiana Petrovna set her sights on you.

“The Duchess invited me to the orgy you neglected to tell me about, honey.” Your falsely sweet tone tells him he’s going to sleep in a guest room tonight. “Imagine my fucking surprise when I learned it from the Russian twat, dear husband of mine.”

“And have them leer at you and paw at you all night, I’m there for business, not pleasure, Evie.” He responds reminding you he doesn’t share either.

“So, am I, do you think you’re the only one of us involved in this mess?”

It’s not the end of the trouble, it is merely the beginning.

All the jokes die when the Russians demand you undress just as John and Arthur had.

Tommy’s this close to taking the offered vodka and making a poor man’s bomb out of it when she kneels and takes the knives in your garters sensually.

You keep your eyes on him with a wicked red smile as the Duchess continued her show, thinking you have a boring sex life.

The sapphire always looks better nestled between your bare tits, something he knows better than the affluent people here. If they knew the sort of games the two of you play, they’d throw a better party.

“Such beauty, you cannot even tell she gave him two children already.” The duchess caressed you, playing with your nipples and forcing everyone to see how she turned you on with the finesse of a maestro.

“These may stay on for now.” The mad woman reached the too short knickers made entirely with see through tulle and lace. “She won’t need them later, right, Mr. Shelby?”

Temptation in the flesh, so tempting Tommy briefly considers fratricide when his brothers are forced to see what only belongs to him.

They’re only half-joking, he’d told Arthur. This was a test of his commitment to the cause, a fucking cause he knows isn’t worth the money they’re getting.

“Your orgy would have been a failure if I didn’t lose every stitch of clothing, your grace. The last orgy I attended left me in such a state I left with one of my conquest’s underwear.” You answer for him driving the Russians’ attention back to you, you love being naked, a thing he only enjoys when it’s just for him.

Tommy has no idea if you are shitting with him, or you were as crazy as these fuckers are.

Both, your smile says, always both, darling.

You have not seen this sort of debauchery since you hosted a drug and alcohol fueled orgy during the summer solstice of 1918 to celebrate the Xochipilli and Xochiquetzal.

Of course, yours was much more tasteful and none were coerced, underpaid, and mistreated servants. No wonder the Communists were so thorough in their takeover.

The people stare and try to get your attention, but Tommy stakes his claim on you by refusing to let you wander away no matter what Tatiana tries.

“Once you marry a Shelby, you belong to them until you die.” Tommy said and the duchess believes him.

“The more the merrier then.” She said with that mad look in her eyes and allows you to dress again.

You’ve met people like her, drunk on their power and money until they die in a crash of pretty glass and blood on the cobblestone below a high balcony. In fact, you had aspired to be the beautiful and tragic creature dead on the ground.

But now your eyes have opened and the dense fog in your head has cleared.

And now that you’ve arrived at the stronghold with the jewels, you are even less impressed by these parasites with worthless titles.

“Couldn’t trust me to be professional, eh, Shelby? Had to bring your posh wife too?” Alfie is more interesting than the phony jewels they’ll offer.

“Oh, Mr. Solomons, can’t call it a party unless I am here, and I won’t be leaving until I get another Fabergé egg for my collection and have a good fuck in this dull party.” You bare your teeth through your smile, already tasting their fear in the air as they present you with paste instead of stone.

They just had to ask, didn’t they?

“It’s quite dull, much like the jewels, I am afraid. My husband won’t let me fuck anyone but him and now perhaps I shall punish him to be bored with me, dearest Tatiana.” You say lounging in only your tiny drawers and the sapphire now accompanied by a gaudy paste thing they tried to pass off as real.

“Might make an exception to share him with you, if you show me something that will make it worth the new lingerie.” You are resting your naked legs on your husband’s lap as you eye Tatiana, knowing exactly how you will get the night you came here for.

She wants to fuck your husband; all people want to. You don’t share, your selfish and spoiled ways from before the war have never left and you don’t plan to leave them now.

Now you were shown the only good place for an orgy in this old shell of a house.

The private chapel in all its glory.

Nothing gets you wet like mocking the god in whom you do not believe.

“Better?” the unhinged Russian noblewoman says as she shut the door behind the three of you.

And it was.

“Haven’t fucked a woman since ’18, and my dear husband refuses my offer of adding one to the mix, you know. Thinks I might leave him for her if he does.” A lie, Tommy just thinks it’s a test of his loyalty.

“And would you?” Tatiana asks, dark eyes glittering in the candlelight as you take the initiative and show your husband this is a one-time offer only.

One night to give into their fantasies with the Russian twat and leave him in a state where he will be glad you don’t share.

“Women are too wet for me; men are so nice and dry.” You giggle and pull her into a kiss relishing the way your husband looks on to this sordid entertainment.

Been so long since you’ve tasted lipstick and felt the softness of a woman against you. If the night ends better than it began, you might consider letting Tommy add May or even whichever woman crosses his path next have one taste of heaven before you send them to hell.

“Have you ever fucked a man like man fucks a woman, Mrs. Shelby?” the story of the priest in Tsibli forgotten in her need to appear much more interesting than you, who are nothing more than another dime a dozen wife.

Oh, how wrong she is, but you let her interest you as she reaches for a box holding the most beautiful set of dilators, carved to look like the real thing and one even resembled Tommy’s cock.

Even better it came with the harness you’d tried in Mexico, the one that let a woman fuck another with the wooden cock. A thrilling thing, the reversal of power where you are given the position of a man.

Something you have been dying to try out with Tommy after you discovered you were not the first to explore his asshole.

There is a clear no in Tommy’s eyes, but if this business were to go without a hitch, especially now that Tatiana wanted to change things up for the thrill of it, they must go along with it.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise.” You say repeating the words he told you when he convinced you to let him fuck your ass. You had enjoyed it, you were far more adventurous in bed than him, and those few times he wanted to do something different were never disappointing. “You can even fuck her to your heart’s content in exchange for this one little measly gift, my love.”

He nods as if he ever had a chance to say no.

Maybe if you hadn’t opened your wicked mouth the two of you would be pretending erotic asphyxiation was new and exotic. But you had and now you feel your toes curl at just the sight of Tommy fucking Tatiana against the prie-dieu and his most sacred hole exposed to your devilry.

Nothing you’ve done before can ever match up to this, you think as you fuck your husband as he rails the woman no longer speaking English at the merciless pace you’ve set.

A religious experience in every sense of the word.

“We’re never doing this again.” Tommy vows in Romani as you leave the place wearing someone else’s dress and the mink coat Tatiana gave you in exchange for your diamond encrusted knives.

“And we won’t, I promise.” You say knowing you’ll receive a perfect replica of Tommy’s cock and a harness tailored to your measurements once the Duchess leaves for Austria with her cut of the money.

[celebtf]

Harry and The crown

I was so done, I had been working too many hours for this, serving meals, cleaning all 17 floors and all 30 room in the castle, I never get any respect around here for all the work I do.

If you haven't guess it, I work as a server for in the Royal castle in England for Prince Harry. I been working there for 15 years and I still get treated with such a disrespect. I deserve more, I clean, serve him food, fix his paper work, at this point even being his body-gaurd, he has people for that but it's me who still needs to do it.

" You can leave now for today, I need to sleep and everything that needs to be done is done" Harry said to me and I turned around and rolled my eyes and started walked towards the end of the castle.

" I wish he could feel how I have it everyday " I said to myself quietly and started to leave. I opended the gate and I started to walked the road and down to the city where I had my car parked.

" Hey you, I heard what you said. You wish somebody else could walk in your shoes, right? " I man came up to me, young, handsome, I didn't think I was speaking so loudly.

" Go home and sleep and tomorrow when you have the chance take it" the man said and later walked away, I countined to walk, thinking about what the man said and drove home.

The next day Harry had to be in the Royal church, it was a sunday, he always was in the church during the sunday-service. I just walked alone in the kitchen, cleaning, doing the dishes. It was as boring like yesterday. I checked my watch " 10:30 " well Harry will be away for atleast two more hours, I can walk around a little.

I went upstaires to check all the rooms, to see if I missed any, I never did but I had some time. I was walking around, I came to Harry's room, I'm usually never in there but maybe it needed some cleaning.

Then I saw it, on a display in harry's closet, I saw the royal crown. It was so beautiful.

I took out the crown from the display, and I put it on my head, it was so heavy. I was being very careful not to drop it. " It should've been me, why does I never had any luck".

I knew I had time so I put on one of Harry's suits, I wanted to see how it would feel to be a Prince just for a Moment.

" What are you doing with that and why are you in my room " Harry had come home earlier then I thought, shit, I was so screwd.

I was about to unbotton the suit when I felt my body starting to fill it out, my muscles started to grow, so did my feets, the shoes was not big anymore. I felt an electric touch and I felt myself grow a few inches. My face was on fire, my nose got smaller, my jaw shaper and freckles started to appear. My dark hair bleached to a ginger color and my hair got shorter. I felt this wave of pleasure down there and I felt myself grow harder. I grabed my hard bulge and laughed.

I saw Harry and he looked at me in terror, I looked in the mirror in the closet. " Looks like I'm the Prince now " and Harry's body started to change in to my old, his ginger hair darkend, he grew shorter.

" Guess I have a new Butler " I said in my new brittish accent. I picked up my new phone " Hey Henry, can you pick up this butler, he isn't doing his job right " I saw the fear in Harry's new eyes.

" I have places to be, but good luck in life and your car is parked down the road " I laughed and went outside to the cab waiting.

I steped out the car, heard hundets of screams, only for me, because I'm the Prince of England and nobody knew the diffence, I laughed to myself and walked up the staries to watch the Tennis game that was playing.

I started to think about earlier, how I had become the Prince of England and nobody here knew it, I felt myself growing harder in my suit-pants " Harry, you have hide this, well later when I get home, I will have some fun in my new bed and might have to explore under to see if I can find some toys to use " l laughed and pretended to know the game.

[seoafin]

I cant go to sleep so have my cursed stsg nanami foursome thoughts so I can be in peace (it's not really a foursome)

it's gojo that originally throws out nanami's name AS A JOKE to geto and when geto is like hm. that wouldn't be a bad idea. gojo is like !?!?!? whines and complains for the next few days although he's also warming up to the idea of watching nanami fuck you. they both know nanami liked you in high school.

unfortunately this means gojo is the one who ultimately propositions nanami who stares at gojo likes he's an ant (it turns him on). nanami is like please be serious for one second of your life. then he's offended on YOUR behalf that gojo (and by extension geto) is offering you up like a slab of meat because he respects you too much for stsg to be playing with you like that 😭

gojo is like why don't you talk to her then?

geto is the one that approaches you about it. the first thing out of your mouth is whether or not they're growing bored of you (communication!) and then you say they can fuck nanami. you don't mind although you are a bit sad that you aren't good enough for them to which geto immediately reassures you that are you more than enough and everything they need. he wants to grow old with you. and it's not exactly them nanami would be fucking....

you and nanami talk. nanami tries to feel out if stsg offering you to men is a regular occurrence (it's not he's just a very special case) (nanami thinks the WORST of them help 😭) you tell him that it's okay to say no. that you aren't sure you'd be able to please him anyway and nanami who has been mostly silent asks you if YOU want it. after a more embarrassed pause you say you'd be lying if you never thought of it. nanami says he'll do it although he already knows stsg are going to be unbearable

unfortunately that doesn't mean free reign. nanami has to watch stsg fuck you first. an almost unwilling voyeur as stsg are determined to give him a show by fucking 7 ways to Sunday and manhandling you and telling him all the small ways he can make you come. all the small things that you really like. nanami is kinda horrified 😭 and you're so embarrassed you cant quite meet his eyes after even when he's undressed and on top of you.

the entire time through it he asks you if you're okay. if you want him to stop and get off of you.

stsg are sick because the only position they let nanami fuck you in is missionary so close the two of you look like actual lovers. geto hums making completely inappropriate comments to rearrange you, tells you to put your arms around nanami's neck, just the way you do to him. the way you squeeze him when you come is just so cute. while gojo is practically interrogating him on how you good you feel. he's such a good superior for letting him have a taste of you like this, isn't he? anyway nanami blocks it all out through sheer willpower and by focusing purely on your pleasure

you are the only person in the room that does not know nanami used to love you

even though you already came a handful of times from stsg you come so easily with nanami. hes so kind and gentle and never loses control. he's never seen you like this, flushed and teary eyed, biting your lip when you come again. he doesn't know why you keep apologizing. so he makes you feel so good you can't string the apologies together. he kisses you at the end, taking your lips with his when you cry out into his mouth. that's the one thing that makes stsg completely silent. they weren't expecting him to kiss you.

anyway the entire experience makes him down so bad he kinda wishes he never did it

[gabessquishytum]

So we all agree that Hob is the World's Greatest Lover, 600 year reigning Pussy Eating Champion, etc etc. But think of the comedy potential if instead he was just...kind of mediocre at sex. After all these centuries he's still satisfied with a quick wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, and he's not a particularly generous lover. A lot of the sex he's had over the years has been with prostitutes, so he doesn't feel very guilty about not making sure they finish, and his wives and long-term partners have mostly been a bit prudish/sheltered because of the time periods they lived in (some of them may not have even been aware that female orgasms were a thing). But none of them ever complained, so he assumed he was pretty good at sex.

And sure, he's had experiences with men (he's been a sailor at times, after all), but back in his day oral sex with any gender was kind of unhygienic and gross (cue the "ripe smegmatic sausage" meme) so the man's never given a blowjob in his unnaturally long life. Now, he *thinks* he knows all there is to know about sex because, to be fair, he has probably done it more times than any other human alive. But the reality is, his idea of "kinky" is any position other than missionary.

So he's surprised (and his ego is a bit bruised) when Dream seems disappointed but amused after their first time. He's worried Dream is going to dump him (and he's beating himself up, thinking he's so stupid for ever believing he could live up to Dream's standards), but Dream just smiles fondly at him and promises to teach him everything and train him to be a worthy lover for an Endless.

So after that, every night when Hob is in the Dreaming they work on his sexual education. Training montage: Dream makes him practice sucking his dick and eating his pussy until he really is the Pussy Eating Champion. Dream expects to come at least three times before Hob is even allowed to think about his own orgasm. Dream fucks his brains out and makes him a plug and a cock cage out of dreamstuff to wear in the waking, so he's always ready and can't cum unless it's on Dream's cock. Hob is, of course, a very eager and studious pupil, and he's more than happy to do anything Dream wants; he's realizing he's actually a lot kinkier than he thought. He loves being dommed by Dream, and Dream considers his education to be complete when Hob is able to successfully Dom *him* (which may or may not have been his goal from the beginning). The student has become the master, etc etc.

I love it here, you guys are so good to me <3 bad sex is so one of my kinks, especially coupled with a lil humiliation kink.

It's entirely fair to believe that Hob might have got a little bit too comfortable over the years. Recently his sexual experience has very much aligned with his modern image - middle class, a little boring, would probably rather just have a cup of tea. He's been sleeping with women mostly, and sadly he's been lulled into a false sense of security when they assure him that yes they did cum, honestly. Even in the decades before that a lot of what he did was drug fuelled and he can barely remember most of it.

Dream is a little disappointed, but on the whole he's amused and quite looking forward to giving Hob an education - after firmly telling him that his dick is nothing special and he really needs to work on his stamina (Hob is sitting there in stunned silence wondering how on earth this conversation is making him hard.)

Hob spends the next few months not being allowed to put his dick anywhere near Dream anyway. He's only allowed to pleasure Dream with his mouth, and only very occasionally allowed to cum. Dream is the strictest of teachers and resorts to corporal punishment when his student doesn't behave (spoiler alert, Hob also enjoys this more than he ought to).

Slowly Hob picks up the skills that he either lost or never had in the first place, and Dream becomes much more agreeable with him. After nearly half a year Hob is finally allowed to fuck Dream again, only this time he's wearing a cock ring and his purpose is only to bring his lover pleasure. Dream is so pleased with his progress that he even lets Hob cum inside him.

Before long Hob is coming home from work, grabbing Dream by the waist and hauling him over the sofa to tongue-fuck him until he screams. Which was more or less what Dream was hoping for during their first encounter. He's quite happy to sit on Hob’s (admittedly quite nice) dick these days, because he knows that Hob’s primary objective will forevermore be to make him cum.

Even if he does occasionally have to tie Dream up to do it. Oh yes, Dream needs to be educated too - about the perils of working too much and not letting off steam. Hob is only too happy to take on the role of teacher, this time.

[lavendertales]

Guilty pleasures: Chapter 3

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: cautious with your questions to and about Ellie, Joel snaps at you in private, the conversation culminating with a very surprising twist. But even that can't prevent you from drawing your own conclusions about Ellie.

word count: 4.7k

A/N: TENSION. that's all. this is a birthday gift for @katronautt. Happy birthday, my love, I hope your day is as cool as you ❤️and happy Valentine's Day to you all, my sweet lovebugs!

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

gif: @magnusedom

series masterlist | AO3

JULY

The air had grown thinner in the past month. Everyone could feel the warmth of the season wearing them down to the point where all they sought to do is kick back and enjoy a cold drink.

Despite the low number of raids and sightings of infected, the patrol group remained alert. You didn’t mind, really; starting the night shift when the sun was going down, after having spent most of the day in the sun, it offered you a sensation you hadn’t felt since your childhood back in California. If anything, it made you nostalgic. Even with everything that was going on.

Since news broke out that Tommy singlehandedly took care of a group of raiders in June, the people in Jackson have become more vigilant of their whereabouts and surroundings, but there was also a bizarre concoction of fear and admiration targeted at the man who built an entire town from scratch. Tommy was just as loved as before—people just knew now to never get on his bad side.

The other Miller brother though, that one was the thorn in your back.

Things have gotten more… quiet between the two of you. Which was preferable to the rest of the patrol who were growing tired having to listen to you bicker all the time. But, since that June night when the two of you nearly committed what could’ve only be described as a fatal mistake, Joel simply distanced himself from you. And you followed his lead; you did the exact same thing. It was much better this way. You both relished into the stillness of the environment, neither one of you being on the talkative side, and you only spoke when absolutely necessary.

The interesting thing about that? It grew to be bothersome. It was actually kind of upsetting that all you and Joel did was gaze at each other from afar, eyes darkened by unspoken things that you would’ve rather buried than to ever allow to come to the surface.

And that made you even grumpier and angrier. You failed to understand this kind of reaction to someone who repeatedly called you stubborn and relentless, and it was causing you to lose sleep too, to dwell into the littlest things and put them for observation under a microscope.

You knew why this was happening, of course. It was a no-brainer. But it’s not like it was your fault. Not even his, really. It was a silly little moment of distraction, nothing else. So what if you were caught in the rain and his calloused hands were over your waist, keeping you close, and you were unable to look away from his lips?

It was nothing but a momentary privation of judgment, a mere result of years of solitude and finally coming in contact with human warmth.

But, rather than stewing in your confusion, you chose to mind your business and go about your days as usual. Aside the occasional run-in with the infected, your life in Jackson has been pretty boring throughout the past seven months, as opposed to the unstable and chaotic life you’ve led in the past seven years. You can’t really complain though; it’s been a nice change of pace. It makes you think of your family, how they would’ve fit right in here.

Today, however, upon Annie’s request, you agreed to train some of the kids in town how to handle weapons. It wasn’t the easiest task if you really thought about it. You found it to be a grim scenario, teaching children how to use guns. But the world you’re living in is cruel and unforgiving, and there are worse punishments than death. In retrospect, learning how to defend yourself from a frail age might be a preferable choice than the alternatives.

A bullet flies right by your head, and you duck instantly. You search the fairly small crowd of children to find the culprit, and your eyes land on a brown haired, doe-eyed teenager. You make a face when you remark the guilt on her face.

“Sorry,” she apologizes.

You inch towards her. “Ellie, right?”

“The one and only. I think.”

“So you’re the infamous Ellie.”

She looks you up and down, eyes landing on the holster strapped to your right thigh, then moving back up to your figure.

“Saw you around with Joel,” you explain, unwilling to be misunderstood. You knew that sometimes people found your dry-spoken words to be intimidating, and you didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. Trust was very important, and a must-have in any situation. “He seems fond of you. Which makes me think he’s part human.”

Ellie smiles, and so do you. “Jury’s still out on that one.”

“Ah.”

Her eyes drop to your holster again. “Can you teach me how to use that?”

You follow her eyes to the same spot, noticing she’s referring to the special knife you keep in the holster. You then raise your brows at her.

“What for?” you ask rather amused.

Ellie shrugs. “What if I need it?”

“You mean my one-of-a-kind knife that only I possess? Highly doubt it.”

“You said it yourself, it’s not a regular knife. I mean—look at that thing! It’s got that curve thing right there… it’s a nice blade!”

You suppress a chuckle, staring in admiration at her. She’s got spunk, alright. She’s excited and funny and warm, in spite of everything that the world may have thrown at her. You suppose that’s the magic of being a kid. You can still find the light in the darkest of places.

“Not many kids are interested in weapons, you know?” you tell her as you pull her aside. “Take a look around. They don’t wanna do this. But it’s a necessary evil. You, on the other hand… you’re a pretty special kid.”

“So I’ve been told.”

There’s playfulness and sarcasm in her voice, and it makes you like her more. You can definitely see why Joel took a shining to her as well.

Now, you don’t know the full story. You only know the bits and pieces Tommy deemed acceptable to confess to you. All you heard is that Ellie was wanted by the Fireflies and that Joel was supposed to deliver her to them, but changed his mind and saved her from them, killing an entire group of people who stood in his way. There were some pieces of that puzzle you could put together without anyone telling you anything explicitly, but you kept to yourself. You sure as hell wasn’t gonna ask Joel about what happened.

“So? What do we think?” Ellie asks. “Do we have a deal?”

You frown, half amused and half impressed with her boldness.

“It’s not up to me, you know.”

“Sure it is. It’s your knife, isn’t it?”

You huff, staring at her and hoping that she’ll get the message without you actually saying it. Luckily, she does; within the next second, she makes a face to reveal her disappointment.

“Do not say it’s up to Joel,” she nearly whines. “He’s just gonna say no.”

“Okay. Then I can say no.”

“Oh, come on! We’re at a how to use a gun camp filled with kids and you’re gonna deny a kid a little weapon?”

“You still gotta work on your aim with the regular gun. You nearly shot me in the head.”

“Holding a grudge, I see.”

You smile. Unbeknownst to you, Joel is somewhere in the background, your silhouette in close proximity to Ellie’s having caught his attention. He watches carefully, a dozen scenarios invading his mind at that very moment.

“It’s not a grudge,” you reassure her. “I just think that if you can’t handle something as simple as a gun, you won’t be able to handle this knife.”

“A knife is easier than a gun.”

“You think so?”

Ellie nods, and you pull out the knife, twisting it between your fingers. Her eyes go wide with admiration, thirsting for knowledge. Then, as you hand the blade to her, she looks at you utterly stunned.

“Go ahead,” you tell her. “Stab me.”

“Uh… what?”

“You said it’s easier than a gun. Show your work. Try and stab me.”

“I’m not gonna—“

“Try to.”

Indecisive, Ellie holds the knife, weighing it. Then, she moves towards you, swinging the blade as you instructed. You duck, and as she pulls away, she notices a little string of blood coming from her hand.

“Shit,” Ellie says under her breath, noticing her bleeding palm.

You take the knife back from her and sliding it into the holster.

“It’s not a regular knife,” you say. “You were right. Which means that if you don’t know how to hold it properly, you’ll most likely kill yourself before you kill someone else.”

Joel moves closer in the background, reckoning something was wrong. He sees Ellie slouched, staring into her palm, and his pulse starts to race.

“If you’d teach me—“

“You already tried to shoot me today, so I’m gonna stick with no. And as much as you might hate hearing it—or as much as I hate saying it—Joel is technically your guardian. If he says it’s okay, I’ll teach you.”

“So that’s not gonna happen.”

You shrug. “Looks like we’re both stuck on Joel.”

“We?”

Taken aback by your own words, you clear your throat as your eyes drop to her hand, still bleeding in the slightest. You take it in your hands, examining it, but she shyly pulls away, dragging the sleeve of her shirt over it.

“It’s just a cut, it’s not that bad,” you try to reassure her.

But Ellie looks even more hesitant as she gulps, staring into the ground.

“Why are you wearing long sleeve shirts in the middle of summer?” you ask. “Aren’t you warm?”

“I’m good.”

Her tone, like her face, drops, and it only raises more questions for you. Questions you don’t pose. Instead, you put a hand on her back to guide her through the crowd and head to the little stand you and Annie set up for this exact purpose, filled with medicine and bandages. You wrap her palm nice and tight and in the process, her eyes catch the tattoo on your right wrist. She opens her mouth to say something, to ask you questions, but when she glances over your shoulder and sees Joel fast approaching, she goes silent.

“Are you okay?” Joel asks Ellie, and she nods. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Ellie says. “A little scratch.”

His dark glare goes to you, and you can tell he’s angry.

“Why don’t you go back to the group?” you suggest to Ellie.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

The tension between you and Joel must’ve been more obvious than you thought.

“What happened?” Joel asks you instead.

“She wanted to try out my knife, I said no. She insisted she can handle it, and I proved to her she can’t.”

“By cuttin’ her?”

“I didn’t cut her. She scratched herself with the tip. I told her this kind of blade can be dangerous if not held properly.”

“Wrong time to do a show and tell.”

You huff, visibly displeased. “What’s up with Ellie, though? Why is she still wearing long sleeve shirts?”

The question stuns Joel. It’s written all over his face; you swear you detect some fear in his eyes too, but dwelling into that wouldn’t bring you anything good. Maybe just another headache and sleepless night.

“I’m not her father,” Joel retorts coldly. “She can wear whatever she wants.”

“I’m just saying. It’s the middle of summer, it’s hot as all hell. You’d think—“

“I don’t know, okay? What’s with the interrogation?”

You frown at him, raising your hands in surrender. “Pardon me for taking an interest.”

“Others have taken an interest in her before. Didn’t turn out so well.”

“The Fireflies?”

Joel’s face hardens with anger as he moves closer to you. You can even hear his teeth clenched in fury. You haven’t seen him this mad thus far.

“What the hell do you know about that?” he growls.

“I know that the Fireflies are just an excuse for doing fucked up shit of their own,” you reply, hands crossed at your chest. “They’re not so different from FEDRA if you think about it. So I’m guessing that whatever happened that made Ellie wanted by the Fireflies, it had to be a huge deal.”

Joel keeps quiet, munching on his bottom lip as he stares you down. You’re a stranger, basically, and the history between him and Ellie is known only by the two of them, Tommy and Maria. And there’s no way that Tommy would reveal everything to a stranger, even if he valued your skills and even thought of you as Maria’s right hand.

“I don’t want to know what happened,” you tell him. “And I don’t care about it. I was just expressing interest in Ellie. She’s a great kid.”

“She is,” Joel admits rather grudgingly.

“You got nothing to worry about. You and I, we’re just on patrol together. If you wanna ignore me because you got scared or whatever, that’s fine by me, I don’t care.”

Joel’s stares you down with a vicious twinkle in his eyes, as if he’s suggesting you to stop talking before you regret it. But you don’t care; you said the truth and if the truth is bothering him, there’s some food for thought.

“I’m not scared, and least of all of you,” he emphasizes viciously.

You inhale, rolling your eyes. The gesture brings out to the surface even more anger, anger that Joel can barely contain.

“Whatever you say.”

You turn your back to him, to which Joel responds with his fingers curling around your wrist and holding you in place. The touch is unexpected, electric, and the grip itself is far from harsh. On the contrary: it holds a gentleness to it that you wouldn’t have thought such a rugged man is capable of.

“If you’re talkin’ about that night on patrol last month—“he starts, but you instantly cut him off.

“I’m not talking about that. I was just pointing out the facts. You’re the one who brought it up.”

“How the hell are you so—? Jesus fuckin’ Christ.”

He lets go of you, rubbing his temples as he impending sensation of a headache takes over. He looks at you, shaking his head in dismay. When he sees a smirk forming in the corner of your mouth, he furiously licks his lips.

“How the hell am I so—what?” you ask, downright curious.

“Quit askin’ about Ellie,” he warns instead.

After Joel storms off, you smile in Ellie’s direction. You notice she doesn’t even roll up her sleeves, and your suspicion lives on. You don’t go around asking anything, though. It’s dangerous to talk about such things out loud, especially when this is merely a hunch at the moment. A very strong hunch based on plenty you’ve seen, but a hunch nonetheless.

You respect Joel’s words though, which again, it baffles you. Normally you wouldn’t care, but minding your business is top priority right now.

Which is why you’re surprised when you find Ellie on your doorstep later that evening. She has the same spark in her eyes as she did when she asked about your knife, which points to curiosity.

“Ellie,” you greet her, doing nothing to conceal your astonishment. “What are you doing here?”

“Well… I was gonna ask you something, if you don’t mind.”

“If it’s female-related, I understand why you wouldn’t ask Joel.”

Ellie chuckles, rubbing the back of her neck. “I don’t know why everyone thinks I tell Joel everything, or that we got some sort of father-daughter relationship.”

You scoff, hiding the laughter that’s about to come out of your mouth.

“You’re kidding,” you tell her. “That man was ready to shoot me today when he thought I hurt you. I’ve never seen a man so protective over anyone. He cares about you. A lot, based on his reaction.”

“I care about him too, he’s a pretty cool and badass guy, but he’s not my dad.”

“Sure he isn’t. Come on in.”

As Ellie enters your little house, she takes a quick look around, fidgeting with her fingers. You find the habit quite adorable, seeing as how Joel struggled with that too sometimes when he thought no one saw him.

Fuck. Did you just use adorable and Joel in the same sentence?

Fuck no.

“So, what are you doing here? What can I do for you?” you ask.

“I saw your wrist tattoo today. It’s pretty cool.”

You sneak a glance at your left wrist, then you look back at Ellie.

“Thanks,” you say. “You came all the way here to compliment my tattoo?”

“I came here to ask… if you’ve got any other tattoos.”

“Why?”

“I’m… thinking of getting one.”

Let me guess: on your right wrist.

“Where?” you ask instead.

“Not sure yet.”

You notice the hesitation on her part, but you have enough common decency to pretend like you don’t.

“Okay, well,” you start, taking a seat on the couch with Ellie following suit, “I got five tattoos in total. The one on my left wrist, then one on my right thigh, one on my left ankle, one behind my left ear, and one on my lower back.”

“Can I see them?”

You raise your brows at her, and Ellie’s face gets flushed.

“I didn’t mean that to be in a creepy way,” she quips, rather embarrassed. “I know some are private. I meant… for visualization.”

You smile reassuringly at her, and she seems to relax a little.

“Yeah, we’re not that close,” you joke, and that manages to steal a giggle from her side.

“Which one is the biggest?”

“My lower back tattoo.”

“What’s it of?”

“A snake with a half moon.”

“Whoa. Cool!”

The look on her face is quite adorable. You can tell that no matter what life threw at her, Ellie still carried some of that childlike innocence.

“What about the others, what are they of?” Ellie asks.

“I got a flower with leaves on my ankle, butterfly on my thigh, M for my sister Maya behind the ear and the rose on my wrist, which… you’ve already seen.”

You search her face for any reaction, anything that might tell you what she really noticed about your tattoo, but nothing appears. After all, she only caught a glimpse, a fleeting look. She didn’t have time to study the real reason behind the tattoo.

“You said the M is for your sister?” she inquires, and you already got a knot in your throat when you murmur a faint “mhm”. “Where is she?”

“Uh… filed under ‘people I’ve lost’.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

You clear your throat. “What about you, what tattoo do you want after all?”

“I don’t know. Something big enough to cover… scars.”

“Where?”

She falters yet again. “Right arm. I can’t—I can’t show you.”

“That’s okay. I wasn’t gonna ask you to. But I do hope this is helpful.”

“It is, thanks.”

“Why me though?”

She shrugs. “I think you’re pretty badass and I like you.”

To that, you smile. “You’re pretty badass yourself.”

“Does that mean I get another go at the knife?”

You shake your head and reply No before she can even fully finish the sentence.

“What happened to your sister?” Ellie asks.

The air feels constricting as you stare at her, trying to verbalize the answer. Turns out, seven years in the making and the wound still remains fresh.

“That’s a… that’s a story for another time,” you say with a bitter smile.

Ellie knows better than to push when the conversation is clearly sensitive. After all, there are things about Riley that she can’t quite fully disclose, even though, paradoxically, she loved to talk about her.

She rises from the couch, headed for the door when she turns to you and sports a charming smile.

“Thanks,” she tells you, and you nod. “I don’t know why Joel keeps insisting you’re annoying.”

You do nothing to conceal your surprise at the reveal. “Aw, he talks about me? How nice.”

“He complains a little too much to make his case believable.”

“Yeah, well. Tell him I think he’s just as stubborn and thick-headed.”

“Tell him yourself.”

Your eyes shift to the window, noticing his silhouette on the porch. He’s got his hands on his hips, and his face is darkened by anger. You shake your head and huff whilst guiding Ellie to the door.

“Speak of the big, bad wolf,” you greet him.

“Ellie, get outta here,” Joel tells her.

“I was going anyway. Sheesh, such a drama queen, relax.”

Joel waits until Ellie is out of earshot. You both watch her get farther and farther away till eventually, it’s just you and him on the porch, underneath the stars-filled sky.

“May I help you?” you ask.

Joel is like a ticking bomb. And with those words, you just pushed the button.

“What the hell do you want from Ellie?”

“She’s the one who came to me.”

“For what? What do you want with her?”

You’re taken aback by how spurred on Joel is, how protective he’s become of that sixteen year old girl and the lengths he’ll go to in order to keep her safe. It doesn’t intimidate you though; if anything, it makes your hunch turn into something more.

“She came over to ask me about my tattoos,” you carefully enunciate each word. “That’s all we talked about. She was here for ten minutes. I didn’t snap her neck.”

Joel makes a dissatisfied sound. “I told you today to stop askin’ about her.”

“And I didn’t. Get it through your thick head: I have no interest in hurting her. I have no intention of hurting anyone here.”

Jaw clenched and lips pursed, Joel looks at you, some of his anger vanishing.

“She’s just a kid,” he says, guttural. “She’s been through enough.”

“I am well aware of that.”

“She doesn’t need other problems.”

You cross your arms at your chest. “You think I’m a problem?”

“I don’t know. Are you?”

You inhale slowly, painfully aware of how close you are to one another. The thick, dry summer air is boiling in between you, rendering this moment even more asphyxiating.

“What are you so terrified of?” you ask him.

You can tell the question stumps Joel. He frowns, his lips quiver, and he looks at you with genuine confusion.

“What?” he retorts harshly.

“What makes you freeze dead in your tracks when there’s someone else around you?”

Joel’s frown deepens as he tries to determine whether you’re being serious or not.

“In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been in this fuckin’ outbreak for twenty something years.”

“The infected don’t scare you, not anymore,” you continue seemingly mindlessly. “I know, cause that’s me. I see ‘em, I’m ready to shoot them down. Most of the time, anyway.”

You open your mouth as realization sinks in, watching a distressed Joel Miller drink in the sight of you.

“It’s human contact that terrifies you,” you conclude. “You can’t stand having people around you. You’re surprised when they stay.”

“I’m surprised when they don’t wanna kill me.”

“Lemme guess. Sad and tragic past, now you refuse to let anyone in because you’re afraid of the hurt and you can’t do it again. You tell yourself you can’t keep losing people you care about.”

“Just—stop.”

His voice is husky and harsh, filled with painful undertones that make you wonder of the tragedies in his past. You wonder what pieces of him are so far gone that he refuses to let anyone in.

That, in return, is scary to you.

“What’s the fuckin’ point, anyway?” Joel asks as if he’s having an internal monologue. “Some are lucky enough to live another day, others could die tonight. Living is a luxury. And getting’ attached… it’s got no upside to it. We’re gonna lose in the end no matter what.”

“I understand that,” you reply, much to his surprise. “Clickers, infected… those are easy. They have but one purpose: to kill. Humans, on the other hand… they’re tricky. You may never know what’s inside their heads. That’s the terrifying part.”

“You got your degree in psychology or somethin’?”

You stifle a chuckle, resorting to a mere smile. “Or something. What I can’t quite put together though is why you’re afraid of me.”

Joel cocks an eyebrow in your direction, growing more alert and aware of the fact that he is so close to you he could count your eyelashes. He swallows harshly, nearly breathless.

“Afraid of you?” he fights back. “I could pin you to the ground in one second. You ain’t a threat.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You avoid me, you refuse to talk to me directly, but I hear you do talk about me with Ellie, quite a lot… so what gives?”

Joel does not avert his eyes from yours. On the contrary, he stares you down, fighting a losing battle with his own mind. There’s something about your words, so tantalizing and filled with shameless subtexts that cause his head to spin and his breath to come out ragged.

“Pin me down then,” you instigate him. “Pin me against the wall for all I care. You’re not doing it, and you are not going to. Because you’re afraid that you don’t actually find me annoying at all.”

The twitching in Joel’s fingers worsens, his heart racing and his throat completely dry, as opposed to his mouth which is damn near watering.

“Keep talkin’, see what happens,” he mutters.

“I think nothing’s gonna happen. Wanna know why? You talk a big game, but you’re just—“

The warm, intoxicating sensation over your mouth doesn’t register at first; it takes several seconds before you realize that this is, in fact, Joel Miller who’s kissing you.

His lips are tender against yours, but his hands provide a harsh contrast with that as they grab your hips and hold onto them for dear life. His moustache is tickling against your upper lip, his tongue glides against yours and you sigh; you actually sigh right into his mouth, the sound reverberating throughout Joel’s entire body and making him feral. You cup his face, desperately holding onto him, onto anything that might provide some stability because this… this is something wild and needy, and it utterly consumes you.

Joel is practically holding you into his arms as he’s kissing you like a starved man. There’s an omnipresent throbbing in your body, but especially in your belly, and you squirm against him, starting to crave more.

But then, Joel pulls away from you as abruptly as he began this whole shenanigan. Breathless, he stares at you with a hunger you wouldn’t believe if he weren’t right there in front of you.

Lips swollen and reddened, you fight to regulate your breaths. “Did you just—?”

“No.” His answer is rough, quick to deny everything.

“But I—“

“It’s nothing,” he says, licking his lips. “Don’t make a big deal out of this.”

You remain speechless. Truthfully, you’re not sure what could you possibly say right now. You messed around and teased him and now here you are, lips swollen from a kiss that Joel Miller gave you. A wet, needy kiss that opened a floodgate of desires for you.

He mumbles something to you before he leaves. What, you don’t fully comprehend. You’re all alone on the porch on that hot July evening, trying to process the fact that you shared the hungriest, most passionate kiss of your life with someone who did everything to keep you at bay.

Maybe this is why.

And maybe his overprotectiveness over Ellie isn’t that far-fetched either.

After all, protecting a girl who’s immune to a fate worse than death is a big deal.

previous | next

[norah-posts]

Bambi and the Freak

Modern!Older!Eddie Munson x Dark-skinned!College!Reader

Summary: Being a student in an university is not a big thing in your life.

But falling in love with a long-haired metalhead?

Well, it’s an unexpected thing.

NSFW 18+ - minimal use of y/n, roommates to friends to lovers, angst, smut, mutual pining, mention of bullying, sexual tension, emotions, mention of loss of a parent

Author's note: Since English is not my first language, I like to give to me new goals and a lot anxiety because of that. So maybe there will be some grammar mistake, but I'll try my best (I hope I wrote it good, because that shit kept me awake for a few nights). Anyway have fun and I hope you'll like it! (Oh God, I'm so nervous...)

Chapter one: The Metalhead in the house (wc: 3k)

This will be a typical boring Friday night.

Lucas has a party with his basketball teammates, Max is working at her night shift at the bar. But Eddie… Eddie stays at home that night which is suprising, because he uses to hang out too on Friday nights with his coworkers or his friends. But tonight he doesn’t.

You and Eddie are standing in the kitchen, watching Max as she gets ready for work. She takes out her lunchbox from the fridge and puts it in her bag, while she complains about how much she doesn’t want to work tonight and how tired she is. You and Eddie nod in understanding.

Max stops at the front door, she looks around to see if she forgot something, then look at you and smiles, ’’Alright then. Have a nice evening, lucky people who have Friday night off. I hate you! Bye bye!”

’’Bye!”you and Eddie say in chorus as Max opens the door and leaves you alone with Eddie.

This is your first time to being alone with him. Eddie has been living with you, Max and Lucas for a few weeks. He got a mechanic job nearby, and since Hawkins is too far, he moved in your apartment, which you share with Max and Lucas.

A two-bedrooms apartment is not too big for four people, but four of you can handle this situation. Max and Lucas share one bedroom, the other is yours. and Eddie sleeps on the couch in the living room which is in the same space as the kitchen. This means after Eddie fell asleep you must be quiet if you want anything from the kitchen. But it’s okay because he isn’t at home much, only at night, except when he is somewhere else at the weekends. But that weekend, Eddie stays home for mysterious reasons.

You glances at Eddie and turn around immediately when you see that he is looking at you with those dark eyes. To avoid his eyes, you go to the fridge, open it and take out the stuffs for your dinner. While you take the ingredients on the kitchen counter you start to apologizing to him, ’’I’ll be quick and I will not bother you, I promise.”

’’You’re not bothering me” Eddie says and you smile a little under your nose.

You and Eddie haven’t talked much with each other before. He is nice and all, but he is not your friend, he is your roommate and that’s all. You didn’t try to get to know him and he didn’t try to get to know you. You know guys like Eddie well. Long hair, chains, lot of rings on his fingers, wearing black boots, listening metal music and always being loud – these are the ingredients of a metalhead. Eddie is that kind of guy you see on the street, you try to be invisible to not catch his attention You’ve met too many guys like Eddie in the past, and you can tell these guys are not very nice. They are the worst.  They find pleasure in insulting you with racist words. They don’t care that you are a human like them. They like to joke about your history, when your ancestors were slaves.

But Eddie is different. Even he looks like those guys, you know that he is not racist. Lucas said he knew Eddie from high school and Eddie was the only guy who was nice to him. Eddie showed to Lucas and his friends that the high school isn’t a nightmare, it can be fun if you are with the right people This story melted your heart, and you became a little curious about Eddie, but you didn’t dare to talk with him. And he didn’t too with you.

Until the moment, you hear his deep voice, ’’Are you cooking something?”

’’Yep” you nod as you take out the cutting board from the kitchen cabinet. ’’I found a recipe on Pinterest. I thought I’ll try it.”

’’What kind of recipe?’’

You take out your phone from your back pocket, open the recipe and hand the phone to Eddie. He looks at the screen with furrowed brows then looks at you with raised eyebrows. ’’Marry-me chicken?”

You can hear the judgment in his voice, but you don’t care, you just shrug, ’’There’s parmesan and a lot of garlic.”

Eddie gives back your phone to you. ’’Yeah, I saw it. It can kill a hundred vampires,” he smirks.

’’We don’t hurt vampires. They’re hot,” you say as you slice the chicken breast with a knife.

’’Hot? They want to kill you!”

’’Not if the vampire is Edward Cullen and he loves you,” you grin at Eddie and he shakes his head in disbelief. He mutters something under his breath, then to your suprise he takes out a black hair band from his pocket and starts to tie his long hair into a bun.

’’What are you doing?” you ask in shock when Eddie walks up to you.

’’I’ll help you cook,” he replies, glancing at your phone’s screen and taking out a plate from the cabinet. ’’We have to eat all the food, you know. Garlic protects us from vampires. And who knows? Maybe I’ll put a ring on your finger at the end of the night, if it’s really good,” Eddie gives you a cheeky wink and pours flour into the plate.

You giggle and give Eddie a slice of chicken breast, and he dips it into the flour. This happens for a while. You cut up the chicken, Eddie dredges it in flour, and while you’re working you glance at him for a few times.

You just noticed how tall is he. You have to lift your head to see his face. You look up at him for a few times and you notice his strong jawline, his straight nose and his kissable lips. Kissable?! Your strange thoughts make you turn back to the chicken as fast as you can and try to calm down.

’’You’re okay?” Eddie asks and tilts his head down to scan your face what is burning under your skin.

You swallow and nod, ’’Yeah.”

’’Are you sure? You’re panting,’’ Eddie furrows his brows as he continues to stare at your face.

’’I’m fine. It’s just a little hot here, isn’t it?” you fan yourself with your hand to chase away the burning feeling and smile at him awkwardly.

Eddie looks at you like you are an idiot then turns aways from you and glances back at your phone screen,’’The next step is put them into a pan with oil and butter.”

You nod and squat down to the lower cabinet for a pan. When you straighten up you notice Eddie’s eyes on you. ’’What?” you ask.

He shakes his head and mumbles, ’’Nothing.” You raise an eyebrow at his answer and put the pan on the stove.

The next few minutes pass in silence. Only the sizzle of butter can be heard in the kitchen as Eddie takes the chicken breast into it. Now the chicken is sizzling too, and both of you are waiting. Eddie stands next to counter with one hand on it. You rely on your elbows on the counter and watch the food starting to be cooked. There is nothing but the silence. The silence what is coming to be awkward and you glance at Eddie for a moment. To your suprise he stares at you and when Eddie catches your eyes he chuckles a little.

’’What?’’ you ask.

’’Nothing,’’ he grins and shakes his head in disbelief before looking back at you. ’’You know, you are not like what I thought at first.”

’’Well, you are not too.” you grin at him. ’’I thought you will be mean with me.”

’’Mean? With you?” he raises his brows.

’’Yeah.” you nod and start to rocking on your heels nerviously. ’’The guys like you, you know… They’re not very nice to girls like me.”

’’Like you?’’ Eddie asks back, then looks down on you and back. ’’You mean, because of…?” he touches his arm with his hand reffered to his skin and you nod. ’’Oh…’’ That’s all what he says.

You shrug like it’s not a big deal but for some mysterious reasons Eddie starts comforting you. ’’They were idiots because if they were smart, they would know that we are all the same under our skin. I mean flesh, veins and blood, and this is my personal opinion, but these people are colored, not you, because white guys like me go out to have a sunbath and they’ll have red skin after thirty minutes, but you…” Eddie points at you. ’’You will reamin as beautiful as you are right now.”

You blink at him in shock. These things what Eddie said are shocking and strangest thing is that Eddie thinks you are beautiful. Unsure what to say, you clear your throat and look away for a moment to collect your thoughts. What can you say to that? A ’’thank you” is not enough.

Suddenly, a knock breaks the atmosphere between you and Eddie. You raise your head up curiously and straighten while Eddie goes to the door and opens it. A small smile crosses his face as he welcomes the unexpected guest. ’’Harrington!”

’’Hi! Hi Bambi!” Steve Harrington smiles at you as he enters the apartman and you smile back at him.

’’Hi, Steve! How are you?” You ask sweetly, follow Eddie with your eyes who steps to his bag on the couch.

’’I’m good. You? What are you cooking?” Steve looks at the pan on the stove and before you can answer, Eddie walks back to Steve and hands him a small bag of weed. ’’Thanks.” Steve nods and puts it into his back pocket. ’’Would it be a problem if I’ll pay for these later?”

Eddie rolls his eyes at him. ’’Yes, it would be a problem if you don’t get out in five seconds.”

Steve grins at him then waves to you with a ’’bye, Bambi, nice to see you” as Eddie closes the door behind him. You shake your head and chuckle, then turn to the stove. While you take out the chicken breasts into a plate you see Eddie in the corner of your eyes, still standing by the door, watching you work.

’’So, are you a drug dealer?” you ask him to break the silence.

He snorts and walks past you, ’’What can that guy say whose mother died when he was a kid and whose his dad was shit?” he asks mockingly.

Now you are the one who snorts and says, ’’My mom died too and I’m not a drug dealer.”

’’I’m sorry for your mom.” His voice is serious and when you look up in his face you see his face is serious too, like he really mean it.

’’It’s okay,’ you shrug and turn back to the food. ’’My dad wasn’t shit as yours, so…”

’’Yeah, Sinclair said your father is doctor and you have siblings.”

’’I have four brother and one sister,” you nod and grin at Eddie when you see his jaws dropped. This is a frequent thing for you, everybody gets shock when they find out that you live in a big family. Eddie can’t say anything too just ’’Wow!” and you giggle.

’’Do you have sister or brother?” You ask and Eddie shakes his head.

’’No, just me and my uncle.”

’’Did you live with your uncle?”

’’After my dad got into trouble and went to the jail, because the real work was stinky for him and he found the worst way to make money.”

’’Oh… Sorry about that.” And you mean it, because you can’t imagine how hard it must have been for Eddie, but you can see it in his eyes when he nods and says, ’’Yeah…”.

You feel like you have to say something to make him feel better, so you start with a smile on your face, ’’But you are better than him, right? I mean you have a real job so you’ve outgrown him.”

Eddie snorts and nod with a little laugh, ’’Outgrown him is a little bit too much, because I’m still dealing with drugs, but yeah… Maybe you’re right.”

You smile at him and asks, ’’Are you doing it?”

’’You mean, the drugs?” And you nod. ’’Sometimes.”

’’I’ve never try it before,” you confess to him shyly.

’’Really?” Eddie raises an eyebrow.

’’My brothers used to smoke weed sometimes, but I didn’t dare to try it because I was scared,” you explain and Eddie nods in agreement.

’’Weed can be good if you have good company.”

Without thinking you ask back, ’’You mean, your company?”

Eddie snorts and nods again, ’’Yeah, my company. We can try it if you want to.”

You lift your head up for his answer, ’’Now?”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head, ’’Maybe next time when the others aren’t home again Okay?”

You nod, ’’Okay.”

*****

Eddie said you’ll have to wait because he is too poor to give you a ring, but he’ll work on it. The marry-me chicken was great as the night was also with Eddie. You and him ate together and talked for hours about everything that came to your mind. Eddie is really nice and smart, even though he failed in high school twice. ’’The education was not for me, because I was too lazy,” he said on that night.

The atmosphere between you and Eddie has changed a bit since that dinner. It became like between friends. Not best friends, just simple friends who live together. Sleepy smiles and greetings every mornings. Little questions about yours and his day in the end of the day before you two go to have some rest.

In the middle of the week, you sit at the dining table with your friends. Beverly and Mia are your classmates, and have been friends since the first day of college. Mia says all the time ’’Black girls should stick together”, and Beverly and you agree with her, so three of you spend a lot of time together. Just like that afternoon when Eddie comes home from work.

’’Hello, ladies!” He grins at them and looks at you for a moment as he takes off his shoes. Three of you smile at him and turn back to your textbooks. You need to write an essay due next week and you got an idea with the girls helping each other out.

You see in the corner of your eyes that Eddie goes to the kitchen sink, drinks a glass of water and sighs a big when he swallowed the last gulp. Then he turns around and goes to the couch where are his stuffs. You don’t see him, just hear the sound as he rummages in his bag. You look up for a moment to the girls and you see they’re watching Eddie curiously.

You want clear your throat to catch their attention from Eddie, when a hand touches your shoulder and you almost jump, but you don’t, only a shiver runs down on your spine. It’s Eddie’s hand on you. It’s warm and you can feel how strong, even if his touch is affectionate, when he squeezes your shoulder softly when he says, ’’I’m gonna take a shower. Can I use your shampoo?”

You nod in your textbook and you don’t dare to look up to Eddie or your friends. For a moment it felt like the whole world disappeared around you while Eddie’s hand was on you, but after he let it go you wake up and feel the heat around your face.

You don’t move or look up, until you hear the bathroom’s door voice as Eddie closes it behind him. You want to take a deep breath, but it’s stuck in your lungs when the girls lean closer and start to whispering, ’’What the hell was that?” and ’’Did you see the fact that the metalhead wants the chocolate girl?”

You roll your eyes sarcastically but your mouth twitches, ’’Eddie is just nice.”

’’Yeah, he would be so nice between your legs,” Beverly adds and Mia continues, ’’You know what the rumours say about the guys like Eddie?”

You furrow your brows at Mia, who smiles mischievous and shrugs. ’’They like it rough. Really rough.”

Beverly giggles and covers her mouth with her palm, ’’Now I see why he has handcuffs on his belt.”

’’It doesn’t mean anything,” you say, avoiding the fact that Beverly took a good look at Eddie’s belt.

Mia holds up her hands and shakes her head, ’’I don’t make the rules. I’m just saying the facts about the guys like Eddie. They like to bite if you know what I mean.”

Beverly snorts, ’’You sound like who has experiences with metalheads”. To your suprise, Mia nods and giggles. ’’I had a one-night-stand with a guy. He was creepy, because he wanted to biting my black ass and girls, that shit made him so hard. He fucked the life out of me and left me alone in the morning with bruises around my butt. He was a freak with a beautiful white cock.”

You and Beverly screaming with laughter, you bet Eddie hears your loud joy in the bathroom. As you calm down, you remember the first time you and Eddie met.

A few weeks ago int he kitchen Eddie extended his hand to you and he introduced himself as Eddie Munson. You looked into his dark eyes, as you told him your name - Bambi. He nodded and shaked your a hand a bit as he looked down on you. It was like he eating you with his eyes, which is not mean too good. He looked at you like a predator. A white-man predator who knows he will break you because of your dark skin. You’ve seen this look too many times, and it gave you anxiety as always.

Eddie smirked when he looked up into your eyes. ’’This name is fits to you, because you look at me like Bambi, when the hunter killed his mom. I won’t bite you, unless you ask for it.” He gave you a wink, what made your face burning. But thank God, he let go your hand.

[spicywhumper]

febuwhump '24: 19. "please, don't" + @femslash-february bingo: unrequired

series: untitled | rating: mature | trigger/content: captivity, chained, implied future dub/noncon

Krystian isn’t sure when her life started to go wrong, perhaps when her twin brother had the audacity to die merely a week after his birth. Right when her father said “I need a heir, so I guess I don’t have a daughter”. That’s a simpler way to explain how she has never been this lucky (even if she does like the fact she never had to marry a man and carry his babies).

She sighs, captivity is even more boring when you don’t need to sleep.

She shackles aren’t heavy, but with the carved runes on the metal, they’re quite uncomfortable, the collar’s a lot worse .

For decades, now, she has been using her charm and mildly awkward flirting to get thinks she needed. A place to ‘rest’, supplies like clean clothes and warm bathing water, and blood. The unintentional thrill had helped her to get blood so many times, makes her miserable lonely life a little less miserable. Not very, but enough to make it bearable. She prefers a calmer way to get blood than hunting. The human dies anyways, but makes less of a mess and means she can stick around for a little longer.

Perhaps she should have followed her gut feeling when the woman smiled at her with too many teeth to not be dangerous, eyes with a predator glint.

She didn’t, she allowed the woman, call me Karr, dear, to take her into the inn. Vampire, cold-blooded, Krystian still likes warm rooms and soft beds. Maybe it’s the human in her, maybe it’s growing up as a Prince. She accepts the wine, like she forgot that humans are the most dangerous creatures on earth. The ones with poison on their voice are even more dangerous.

So, maybe it’s her own fault that she go herself in this situation, in a cage, it looks like the inn’s basement, shackled to the wall. She tested the chains multiple times, they’re clearly built to be unbreakable. Or they make a vampire weaker, she thinks that’s more probable, considering that whatever the woman has put on her wine, it took her out for long enough to be dragged down here.

Krystian hasn’t been in such an unpleasant situation in decades.

“When we met for the first time,” she looks up at the sound of her captor’s voice. “I suspected you’re not human, with those red-ish brown eyes.”

“So you gambled by giving me something that would definitely kill me?”

“No,” she tilts her head (it reminds her painfully of Savina and her carrying over wolfy ticks.”You don’t remember me.”

“Apologies, I’m an old woman.”

She steps even closer, Krystian feels the back of her throat burning, sweet metal pulsates under delicate-looking skin ,throught easily broken veins: “It has been a few years, feels longer for me than to you, of course. I was in the business of getting a couple copper coins for a night of pleasure.”

“I mean no offense, but I don’t exactly commit people ot memory. In general, really, not specifically sex workers,” she looks her up and down. She can almost feel her blood pumping in her veins, she wants to taste it. “I imagine you could still make some coins that way.”

“I don’t do that anymore,” she licks her lips, Krystian recognizes the lust in her eyes. A mixture of sexual and violence urges. “I’d enjoy it with you,” her predatory smile reminds Krystian of those weird older women in the court, the ones that really, really wanted ‘him’ to marry their daughters – nevermind the Prince already had a chosen bride.

“You’re quite attractive,” and she’s not lying, the woman might look like she’d be older than Krystian’s mother (if she was human), but Krystian not the type to lie about this. “But I’m not interested. Let me go before I make you acquainted with my fangs.”

“I’ve been looking for your for thirty years, that’s longer than the time you’ve been alive, correct?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Why not? You’re the last of your bloodline, that’s tragic, Prince.”

“I haven’t been a prince in a long time.”

“I thought it was a rumor, you know? The runaway prince’s a woman. Even a hundred years after the death of the disgraced king, people were still interested in the prince that has never been a prince.”

She grits her teeth, the rumor has started over an incident she’d like to forget: “Why don’t you come in, do whatever you want, and let me go?”

“Sex with a vampire is not nearly as satisfying if the vampire doesn’t want it.”

“You won’t make me want you if you keep tainting me about my past.”

“Oh dear, there are herbs and such for this kind of thing, aren’t you aware of that?” She leaves for a moment, only to come back carrying a simple metal cup, a glass vial with a brown-ish liquid and a dagger. “I promise you’ll have a good time.”

Krystian frowns, tries to find what that could mean in her admittedly small general vampiric knowledge. The woman enters the cage and kneels in front of her, just far enough that Krystian can’t try to reach her. She watches with apprehension as the cup is put on the floor, the woman pulls her left sleeve up, and thirst burns on the back of her throat, hot like an inferno, as the woman digs into her wrist. Blood flows easily into the metal cup. Not much, maybe two sips, perhaps a third. She’s not sure where the bandage comes from, but she sees that the woman wraps it around her wrist too easily to not have practice doing this.

Whatever’s inside the vial, it smells absolutely fool and she almost gags as the woman mixes it up with perfectly appetizing blood.

Then she remembers of stories about vampires bounded to humans, to witches or simply people that have minimal knowledge of the type of magic that does more harm than good. Vampires that get addicted to their captor’s blood and become their personal puppet, their sex slave more often than not.

That finally makes dread and fear.

She has escaped too many things to let it happen to her. Krystian pulls at the chains harder, so abruptly that the woman in front of her is startled by the noise. Krystian snarls at her, teeth coated with venom, eyes bright red.

“Don’t you fucking dare!”

The woman snarls back. Faster than she appears to be, she grabs the chain attached to the heavy collar around her neck. She pulls back, the choking’s uncomfortable even if Krystian doesn’t need to breathe. And her body still responds like a human that does need to breath would. The woman adjusts the chain, pulling her closer to the wall, she did the same with the others chains, Krystian’s skin would be raw and bleeding if she was human by now.

“Don’t-” it’s half begging and half growling. “Please, don’t- I-” that’s way more pleading as the woman grabs her jaw and forces it open.

She begs again, sounding more pathetic than she has ever sound in her life, human or not. The liquid tastes foul, corrupted and wrong, it’s thick as it forces its way down her throat. It feels like ice, she wouldn’t be surprised if there’s frost forming on her neck and down her chest.

It hurts, she hates how it makes her whole body feel ice cold. The woman’s touch burns, her fingers are soft but they don’t feel right as they run through her hair.

“Shh, you’re mine now, you’ll be fine.”

[tkeyahwrotethis]

When the Days Get Better, The Nights Get Brighter.

As a college student, I’ve made some really good friends of all different majors. One of my best friends created a robotic entity that has AI technology and needed to spend time with a human to learn more about us on a quest to be fully emersed in humanity, to be seen as human. The robot was created from N.A.T.E. technologies. So I just called him Nate. My good friend dropped Nate off at my house and said he would be back in about a month to update his system to see how much he has learned. I was a bit hesitant at first to have something almost alive, something almost human living with me for about a month but I thought it could be a new and exciting aspect of my life that had been a bit boring lately.

I showed Nate around the house. Although he doesn’t do normal human things like eat (unless he’s eating for pleasure to learn texture or recipes), or sleep (unless he’s recharging which he can do at any time he doesn’t necessarily need to lay down and close his eyes like regular humans), I still wanted to show him the kitchen and the bedroom. I took a shower put on a nightgown and sat on my bed I pulled out my book to unwind and figured maybe I should bond with Nate a little so I called him into my room. I laid down and turned on my side and he sat on the edge of the bed. I told Nate that I’m not entirely sure what it means to be human because I’ve never been anything else. I know right from wrong and I have control over my impulses and instincts, unlike animals. I told him in the simplest terms, to be human is to divide your life into 3 sections: work, play, and pleasure and it’s up to you to decide who and which goes where. BUT love or money is usually the bottom line for any motivation. We made a lot of what seemed like eye contact and he said he understood. 

The next day I explained working. My motivation for money is a job. However, being human is having the ability to love your job and be passionate about what you do. To have love and respect for your coworkers and depending on your job if you're a first responder, having love for the patients and citizens in your town. Sometimes work and love go hand in hand. Nate understood this. I showed Nate my family, my friends, and my pet. I explained love to him, it’s a feeling as well as an action. I explained pleasure as the best thing the human experience has to offer because it’s different for everyone and so many factors contribute to our pleasure aspirations and it’s constantly changing.

Over the next couple of weeks Nate and I lived life to the fullest. We went to concerts, we went to work, we played sports, we went to clubs, we went to parks, and we went sightseeing. Sometimes I forgot he was N.A.T.E. and I thought he was more like a new friend. It was our last couple of days together and it felt bittersweet. Late one night, the house was quiet I figured Nate was charging or something so I went downstairs and started watching some porn on the couch slowly exploring my body rubbing my breasts underneath my shirt, my breath increasing while I pinched my nipples, and my other hand rubbed my swollen clit through my panties watching as some hottie gets completely railed… when a voice called to me and asked me what I was doing, asking what human experience this is. My face grew hot I was so embarrassed Nate had seen me masturbating and I explained sometimes people in love touch each other and have sex but sometimes people do it for pleasure and can even do it alone. He sat beside me on the couch and grabbed my breast in one hand and my pussy in the other. He asked me if this was pleasure or love and I didnt know how to answer, on the one hand, we’ve been having a lot of fun dating and a bond had formed on the other hand he’s not real and was leaving soon. I never answered him and I just turned on a regular television show. He laid his head in my lap which felt very natural and very human so I started playing in his hair. We watched one of those Netflix series all night.

The next night and honestly a few nights after that went similarly. He would lay his head in my lap I would play in his hair and things would slowly escalate. He would rub on my thighs sometimes. He would want to be cradled and have one hand in my shirt cupping a breast. On our last night together, Nate closed his eyes while laying in my lap, cupped my right breast, and started sucking my left one it was almost like he was sleeping just sucking my breast rhythmically. I just kind of froze and let him I wasn’t sure if this was okay or right it was all so confusing. I just stared at the tv screen for 2 episodes I couldn’t even pay attention or retain anything happening. My pussy was wet, and I felt confused, I didnt want him to stop but I felt nervous to ask him any questions. Suddenly he grabbed me and made me caress his hair as usual. From the corner of my eye, I noticed that his dick was getting harder and harder. I wasn’t sure how this was possible he wasn’t a real person. Still, I was curious. I rubbed his head with my left hand and began exploring his body with my right hand. I gently rubbed his dick while looking at the screen. This went on for 4 hours. We were done when he decided to stop sucking on my nipple and he just casually flicked the other breast and nipple with his fingers and smiled at me. My head was swimming with confusion. I didnt know what to say. I fixed my shirt, said good night, and rushed to bed where I couldn’t help but masturbate thinking about the night I had with Nate. I was rubbing my clit to the thought of him on my body suckling my tit when my door opened. He pulled his pants down exposing his dick to me and climbed into my bed. He began fingering me deeply. Deeper than anyone ever has before and my moans filled up the room. I couldn’t hold back anymore I pulled Nate closer to me on top of me in my bed and the fingering got deeper, faster, and more intense… borderline painful. He pulled my panties to the side and rubbed the tip of his dick on my clit as though he was about to put the head in, I panicked and told him NO! We can’t do this !! I’m literally best friends with the person that made you !! This is insane!! Nate, with a smile, asked well this is okay though right? While slowly but still deeply fingering me feeling the grip of my tight wet pussy I couldn’t fight it. I think this is okay, I melted back into my pillow, back into my mattress, and embraced Nate being ontop of me. He was fingerfucking the shit out of me and dry-humping my body while my arms were wrapped around him and my face buried in his neck. 

The next day N.A.T.E. was leaving to download his human experience to his hard drive. I was emotional and my pussy was so sore I couldn’t get the feeling of him all over my body and inside of me out of my mind. My bestie came to pick up his robot. We all had some small talk and he exclaimed that N.A.T.E. seemed so much more human in this month with me than he ever did. I started blushing my face feeling hot again with a bit of guilt and embarrassment. He loaded Nate into the car and turned to me and asked if there were any behaviors that needed to be reported. I said no hastily. He replied okay that’s good, I just want to note that Nate’s eyes have built-in cameras. He smiled and drove off. 

[persephoneflouwers]

I was letting it slide, but since Louis was seen with this cardigan…

I really can’t sleep on it. So there you have my 2.25 am rant on

Louis and the theory of pleasure in FITF era

This huge parallel post was born yesterday morning on the train to work after the first listening of Saturday (as this freaking out post shows). I don’t want to be boring, but also I fucking love everything about it so… I’m not even saying Louis really knows this! It’s just my interpretation of his lyrics given the background studies I have (I spent all my last year of high school on Leopardi). It’s also fun to analyse concepts like this. I think it’s the first time ever I find something lowkey pessimistic in Louis’ art. He’s usually very positive, that’s why I would have never imagined his lyrics could related to Leopardi’s, the most famous Italian poet (probably second only to Dante), basically known for his pessimistic and lowkey depressing philosophical view (he wasn’t for me, he was just a sad gay lover).

To give a bit of context, I don’t know if any of you is familiar with Schopenhauer, but there was this debate on how deep the influence of Leopardi in his theories (or the other way around?) was. The main concept in Leo philosophy was indeed pleasure. He wrote plenty about it in a book called Zibaldone (July 1820). Here’s some extracts if you want to have a read :)

“all the ... sources of unhappiness make us inevitably and essentially wretched because our nature makes it so, and cannot change”;

“Given that man never properly experiences true pleasure, it follows that he never feels he is alive for any length of time without experiencing displeasure or boredom. And as boredom itself is pain and displeasure, it follows that for as long as man feels life, he also feels displeasure and pain.”

The chain of reasoning behind what Leopardi calls his “theory of pleasure” is seductively simple. Every person, indeed every living thing, is endowed by nature with infinite self-love: to exist is the same thing as to love oneself. This is why every creature naturally seeks its own good, which is nothing more or less than pleasure. In all our actions, including those that appear selfless, we are in search of some kind of pleasure, even if it is only the pleasure of self-esteem. But while our desire for pleasure is infinite, our mental and physical organs are capable only of limited and temporary pleasures; and this mismatch between desire and capacity dooms us to perpetual dissatisfaction. There is no pleasure big or total enough to quench, even momentarily, our thirst for pleasure. But since the absence of pleasure is pain, it follows that we are always in pain, even when we might believe otherwise. And if life is nothing but an unbroken experience of pain, it would be better for every human being never to have been born. (X)

Essentially from his poetic we can extract a few take home messages:

Humankind has an innate tendency to pleasure

Pleasure is temporary and pretty often an illusion. Only the ability, proper to human brains, to simulate the realisation of pleasure in mortal forms (arts) give us the impression we find pleasure, but as Leo would say soon enough humans realise that “the waiting for pleasure is the pleasure it self”, cause pleasure as it is is only as volatile as the idea of it.

As pleasure is ghost (!!!!!!) you can’t properly meet, what’s very real is the pain surrounding it. Schopenhauer would say “life is a pendulum swinging from a moment of pain to another with little moments of pleasure in between”.

Hence pleasure IS pain. You can’t separate them and you can’t have one without the other.

How’s all of this relevant in Louis music though?

This all huge embarrassment of a rant clicked when I was listening to Saturdays. Specifically the lines:

We always used to say

“Saturdays take the pain away”

But nobody stays the same

My first reaction was to stare the guy in front of me on the train to the point he got scared and I got tears in my eyes. But why Saturdays among all the 7 days? It’s definitely a concept in Leo’s poetry. Leo wrote this poem called “il sabato del villaggio”, a classic. Here you can find the translation if you are into poetry, I 100% recommend!

Saturdays are the symbol of youth, dreams, hopes, the antsy feeling of celebration and the excitement of waiting for the good things to happen. On the contrary Sundays are the symbols of the harsh reality, the end of the party, the adulthood, the concrete fall of every illusion. Living in a Saturday haze means to leave in a perpetual moment of pleasing illusion, but that’s not possible because Sundays are gonna come sooner or later. I also enjoy so much the way Louis narrates stories through his songs. He’s so good at describing moments. That’s what basically happens in sabato del villaggio.

Anyway I don’t know what I wanted to say here. It’s 3.58 AM and I should get some sleep, but I was so excited about this! Again this is just a parallel and I’m not saying it’s a reference or whatever. Even if I think Louis knows some Italian (i mean why not, his husband does and they both love italy so why not) I wouldn’t go that far with the knowledge of the italian literature. I just love finding parallels with stuff I know and I’ve studied in other artists art. It’s what we study for after all <3

[ladylimerence]

cvnt

i am bored with social media— need creative outlet- one without boundaries— one with design—-

i think im going to dive deep into shibari , im gonna teach myself — teach myself everything- no discouragement, no one to impress but myself. —-

—- let’s see how this goes—- i wanted to delete everything, but im too fucking creative for that—- what does it matter anyways? it doesn’t.

—— guy at gym getting creeper— i had to walk down the plaza today to grocery store to get an energy drink— when I came out i saw him by my car— knocking on the window. why is he so obsessed with me? What is his presence in my life trying to teach me? i was approaching the gym doors and saw him walk out, i thought i was going to get away with him not seeing me— but right when I opened the door he turned around and saw me—- i kept walking— hoping he wouldn’t follow me —- he approached me and started waving —— told me he finished the book—- and he was anxious— and he was short— and he was in a hurry—- he said goodbye and started to leave—- it was such an odd interaction—- i make him feel very vulnerable- i will not accept any of his offerings of pleasure- but i will accept his offerings that he gifts me— it’s like he is bringing things to my throne and laying them at my feet, — hoping that if the materialistic things get bigger then his changes of even touching me get higher —-

here is all of the things he has brought to me so far — there has been absolutely nothing exchanged for these items but conversation at the gym—

1. $200

2. a $250 facial gift card at a salon

3. $60

4. $160

5. $400

— see what i mean, he brings gifts, i say no- well i mean because i am not a sec worker lol— even though he doesn’t want me to do anything to him— he wants to pleasure me sexually, and i have to hear about it every time i go—- i can’t stop interacting because well—

1. i am evil

2. i am the observer and this is the most entertaining thing i have been apart of for a long time

3. i trust myself. 💯

4. everyone deserves love

i feel his intentions are genuine, - he doesn’t scare me , i have established platonic boundaries- but why waste my time you say? please read #2 above.

go the fuck to sleep.

-x

[concealeddarkness13]

WHG 20 Prompt 7 - Triel

Content warning for mentions of abuse. This one’s a lot shorter! I’ll just be writing the interview. Tagging: @ratracechronicler, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @drabbleitout, @grailfish, @forthesanityofsome, and @pied-piper-of-hamlet!

I walked out onto the stage after Chess had been hurt, and good thing Ashont was still there! I was wearing this lovely dark purple evening gown with a long coat and a wide hat, and I hadn’t gotten this because I threatened the stylist, surely not!

I snagged Ashont’s arm before he could slink off the stage, and I grinned wider when I saw how bruised his damn face was already. I sat him down and took Caesar’s chair before Caesar could sit down. I hooked a foot on Ashont’s chair and pulled him closer so he couldn’t run before I could grab him again. And he was dazed enough to not say anything about it.

Caesar stared at me with wide eyes, and I grinned and ignored him to look out at the audience. “I hope this has been a good night, dear audience, because I have a treat for you! Instead of learning about me—I must be very boring, alas—you can learn about dear Ashont over here! Such an exclusive interview! You don’t want to miss it, do you?” When Caesar tried to take his seat back, I just shoved him to the side, and the audience laughed.

The audience cheered an answer to my question, and Ashont looked over at me with real fear in his eyes. Not so confident now that one of the brats from the districts could fight back without the Peacekeepers beating her within an inch of her life, now was he? I smirked at him and tapped his nose, causing him to flinch. “No worries, dear Ashont. I would never lie about you. So, let’s start with an easy one. How many tributes have you sponsored in the Games?”

He tried to smile, knowing he couldn’t convince the audience otherwise to stop this. “Why, about ten.”

“And how many of them have won?”

He looked out at the audience, who was dead silent by the way, and swallowed hard. “None of them.”

“And how many have magically reappeared for one year before they mysteriously disappeared before the next Games?”

He blinked and looked over at me, not saying anything. I leaned forward and smiled wider. “Please answer the question. Or maybe you’d like to answer how many of them were victims of the prosthetics experiments?”

He smirked, as if this would help him and not me. “All of them, of course. They deserve this treatment.” The audience cheered, of course.

I rested my chin on my fist. “Yes, but you’re Ashont. The loose Snow advisor! You always seem to have a new woman at your hip for every party! And not all of them were from the experiments. Or from the districts. You seem to have sway with the Gamemakers, getting them to take tributes illegally from the Games. But what about the other women? They never seem to have a name.”

I paused, letting the silence hang for a bit. “Have you heard of Allanah Vaca? She disappeared two years ago from the Capitol. An up and coming socialite, super promising.” I looked out at the audience. “I have evidence that Ashont has been dealing with Peacekeepers, having them kidnap young women from the districts to use and then dispose of!” I swung my head back to Ashont. “But you became a little too greedy, eh? I have proof that you had Peacekeepers kidnap Allanah for your pleasure, and that you had her killed after you were done with her!” I grinned at the audience, who was staring, dead silent. “Tune in after the Games for the shocking evidence! Should you trust Ashont around anyone? Or should he be locked up for kidnapping a daughter of the Capitol? Please be assured that no matter what happens in the Games, the information will be released!” I grinned and stood up, bowing at the audience. “See you then!” I winked and left to stunned silence.

I checked on Chess that night, but she was already sleeping, so I left her to it, and I went back to my room to banter with Nesri and Shine as we all stayed up to make sure the plans were perfect.

[meltedbluecaterpillar]

Good evening Absy ^.^ can I call you Absy..i always think it in my head and refrain. I can't help my inner Cater sometimes..

But oh my gosh..a girl can only cross her fingers and pray it was Azul and Jamil on the boad...especially after Azul was in Jammys dream. Yess.. they can have a messy inky makeout. Would they,,bust in black...lol..? I don't know if they would be accostumed to each others preference,, they can figure it out. Ive seen fanart of them which is what struck the interest. Now i love jazul a lot.

I'm not too sure about mallekei..i just don't understand it. But i understand cater as a powerbottom,,teaching malleus all he needs to know because he's a professional! (He really isnt. He just likes being his fuckbuddy and getting recked by Malleus Draconia...even moreso when Malleus suddenly tops him. Why would he complain? If he can't get a selfie with him,,this wll suffice.)

Just for the fun of it I want to say Ruggie can swim. But he really isnt good. He can float and doggy paddle. Maybe Floyd gives him swimming lessons. Which Ruggie instantly regrets when Floyd tries to drag him under and tries to kiss him while he's hardly afloat. He probably panics a little. He can save himself from drowning yes,,just..not with the eels weight on him as well. He's too skinny. I feel like ruggie fits into the category of disordered eating with azul and vil..

But aahh..that sounds like such a cute au to write ugh. Pirate Rugs and Floyd being his helpful little eel (he doesnt know.) Floyd interacts with him for upfront slowly but surely, expecting something in return for his hard work. I can imagine Floyd evily shanking the poor fish,,

Lilidia though yes,,i see them more as good irl bffs if they met..but fwb is also so good. Let the old man show Idia how its properly done! He likes it! Its okay if he doesnt wanna date!! Just fuck him :(. His dating sims can only do so much, Mr. Lilia.

Cater and Idia though yes. They are such a silly duo..Cater would do his best to keep them on the dl..he probably likes to take photoshoots under idys led lights..hes probably invited idy to lm club and Ortho basically insists he go and not decline an invite from a bff!! (He knows)

Iam..talkingso much..my apologies "t.t - 🐍

Good afternoon Viper, I like Absy. I think it is cute and short. Also, forgive me. It has been a few days already.

I think it would be amusing to see an ink-based orgasm. Coating each other and staining their skin. It is oddly romantic as it is sensual. Cater is a professional. The known sleep around. And he is very proud of his skills and how he can bring pleasure and give it. Malleus is a shut in, lacking experience. So he is grateful to have such a bubbly teacher show him the ways of human pleasure. But Malleus getting excited and rutting into Cater is unexpected. But Cater feels happy. He's getting fucked by a future king, this is something he keeps close to his heart even if they end up separating some day. No one will ever give it to him the way Malleus did...

I think it would be a cute AU because Floyd wouldn't end up getting bored. Visiting parts of the world by hitching a ride on the back of the S.S. Savanaclaw. Seeing Ruggie fishing and telling stories about how he's positive he saw a hot mermaid... Merman? A hottie either way... And just for fun, during a late night drink... Ruggie wanders to the dock with a beer in hand. Swaying about before falling in. Where he should have drowned, he wakes up on the slimy chest of his little helper. Lilia is amazing at showing Idia a good time. But Idia thinks life and romance is just like a dating sim. I would like them best as a dramatic slow burn. I am a big fan. I do enjoy Cater x Idia a lot. Especially as boyfriends you don't expect to see as boyfriends. It makes me smile when I think of them getting each other into the things they like. Cater can teach Idia to skateboard, and they can do candy tasting videos together, and Idia can show Cater the wonders of multiplayer and co-op games.

I don't think you're talking too much. I appreciate you for chatting with me as always.

[fantom-thoughts]

Time to read: 6 min

So I just found out about this:

since I am feeling edgy and bored, I would like to try refuting as many of these points as possible. Let us start:

how do I do that tho

what a way to remind me of my almost nonexistent social life

I have never done this, therefore I´m giving it an F

what a way to remind me I have only one (1) close friend

that is indeed nice

but the inside of the pumpkin is all gross and sticks to your hand... 9/10 experience, but it comes only once a year...

i should be looking at pictures of kittens on the internet instead of writing this... but oh well

what a way to remind me I don´t have a partner (it is not that big of a deal, but I think it gets worse with age...)

yea thats cool

but is it really a reason to stay alive? not sure

haven´t had one in a long time. that´s my excuse

the cold will pass. sensations of the body are only temporary. I will endure

by who tho? show me that person. don´t be vague

ok?

but I do that first part all the time, and when I cannot sleep in... I´m ****ed

not sure I ever did this

what are babies? like, they operate by different rules than kids, teenagers and adults. I do not understand them

never did one

I have never been more than 500 km away from my home. they are neat, but that is not a reason I stay alive

refer to point 4.

they are very nice. rainbows are truly magical

BY WHO THO? who will ever tell me this?

I prefer my tea at room temperature and my water warm. I will not elaborate

not the healthiest of behaviors. not saying I haven´t done it. 7/10

what is that

is that a threat? what if I want to be alone? (I do not)

refer to point 2. + new people scary

surprisingly nice

unsurprisingly nice. watermelons are the best. am I... doing a bad job refuting these points? are they not meant to be taken literally, instead reminding you of the little pleasures in life? nah let´s keep going

never took the time to watch one. should do that

YES

I want one really bad

I don´t know what you are talking about

ok, late night calls are sweet

why do I feel like life is already worth living? I´m not even halfway through the list!

NO, must resist good feeling. ha! you don´t know how that feels like. and never will

dangerous! do not do! might have fun!

heard it is great for mental health

refer to point 2. and 4. + ouch

... too much feelings to process. skip

compliments are nice...

very rare, if it even exists

I suck at it

escapism. 10/10

want to do that more

oh. that is a good reason. ok post canceled, life has meaning. I want to hug people. I want to share secrets. I want to make them happy. So I will make more friends. I will deepen existing friendships. Time to make life worth living. To start, I´m going to look at pictures of kittens.

[beommiya]

Xuan sighed in contentment, keeping Kibum close as the other rested his head onto his chest, clearly exhausted and overwhelmed after the passionate night they had just shared. While Kibum was working on regaining his breath, Xuan smiled and started humming a soft sweet little tune, something Kibum probably wasn't able to recognize, but gave them both a sense of peacefulness and inner calm. It was a soothing lullaby. "I'm so happy Bummie... So happy and grateful to have found you and taken you here, so yeah, in a way I guess that you could say that I consider the decision of kidnapping you that night to be the best decision I could have ever taken, as crazy as that might sound." The raven haired chuckled lightly and kissed the top of Kibum's head.

They both then sat in silence for a moment, taking in the romantic atmosphere within the room that has now became their personal love nest. One hand on Kibum's small of the back, the Chinese began then to gently rub his back once more, with a touch as light as a feather, almost as if he were afraid more pressure could have broken his beloved lover. Xuan smiled upon hearing the comment made in regards to his heart. "It does beat pretty fast, doesn't it?~ Well, it's all thanks to you. You breath new life and energy into it, making it melt from the ice casting that had kept it frozen all these years. So now, it beats all for you, to express how much love it holds for you." It was safe to say that Kibum had been the only one to actually achieve this feat, of making Xuan's heart leap in his chest and so, his words meant to compliment the younger also bore an ounce of truth to them. "I know you'll take good care of it. I trust you, Bummie! And I promise you that I will take care of your heart too. I will make sure that nothing will ever reach in to cause it any harm from this day onwards." With his free hand, the young man took Kibum's hand into his, bringing it to his lips to give it a loving kiss.

Xuan then nodded and gave another kiss to his lover, on the top of his head. "Yes baby, we should go to sleep. I imagine it's been a very tiring day for you, so you should get as much rest as you can. And don't worry about a thing, from now on all you have to ever do it be happy, because I will protect you no matter what." Grabbing the blanket, Xuan then pulled it over them so that Kibum could be warm, then reached out to close the nightstand lamp. "Goodnight my beautiful prince!" The young mob whispered and wrapped Kibum in a loving embrace, all while starting to hum again that sweet and soothing lullaby. Kibum could finally rest, and go to sleep peacefully, for the next day, a lovely pancakes breakfast was going to await him, along his beautiful and caring man.

Xuan's voice was extremely comforting. It was fascinating to Kibum the way this man was rocking his entire world just moments ago and now he was humming him a lullaby. His duality was giving him butterflies and he loved it so much. He wouldn't have it other way. Also the contrast between the life he left behind and the glimpse he had into what life was having in store for him was almost brutal, in the most positive way. Feeling so much love and care and pleasure in such a short amount of time compared to the pain and suffering he's know for his entire life up until now was mind-blowing. And he was here for it, here to make sure their story goes on, booms and grows as it is meant to be, as they are meant to be. Kibum didn't even dare to bother Xuan by asking him what was the name of the lullaby that was luring him to sleep, a sleep that he was still fighting against just to spend more time with his partner.

Soon the lullaby turned into more confessions of love between them, more sweet promises and words that were both making him excited as well as feel extremely safe and secure in this connection. Xuan was the one for sure. If anyone dared to tell Kibum Xuan was bad for him, the younger male was ready to fight that argument until the end of time. "I love you, now and until my very last breath." his last confession for that night followed right away, wanting for Xuan to feel just as loved and treasured.

"Sweet dreams, my love" he sighed and snuggled up with him under the blankets. Fighting against his exhaustion was useless at this point, falling asleep rather fast and slipping to dreamland where Xuan was already waiting for him. No words were enough to describe how well he slept, opening his eyes as excitement was building up. It was a new day which meant a new oportunity of learning more and more about Xuan. Kibum was like a sponge, so ready to absorb as much information about his lover as possible, hence him waking up first. Nothing could wipe away the smile that was forming on his lips as he woke up still in his arms, allowing himself a moment to admire his sleeping lover. Xuan was simply gorgeous like that, his long dark hair slightly messy but perfectly shaping his stunning face. He shyly reached to brush the hair out of his eyes, not wanting to wake him up but also not resisting the urge to give him a feather light morning kiss. With much care, he slipped out of his embrace and grabbed Xuan's bath-robe to wear it as he carefully left the room. He hoped this wont anger Xuan but Kibum wanted to surprise him with breakfast and for that, he needed the help of his mortal enemy, Watari. Fortunately or rather unfortunately, he bumped into Watari as he was walking out the room, both of them panicking for a moment. "I need your help, Watari. Show me where is the kitchen and then go do your…maid shit or whatever you're good at and leave me alone, okay? Okay" he said with great confidence as he walked into the wrong direction with just as much confidence, Watari sighing in despair but still guiding him and helping him with everything Kibum needed.