#absolute answers.

[meltedbluecaterpillar]

You know, I am not a Jamil person, I never have been. But for some reason I find myself going "No, I won't accept Kalim's confession. You're right, he is stupid. He isn't for me. Here Jamil, this is my bedroom." after reading the jamil fic... maybe he really can hypnotize us through fanfiction. I'm gonna say something nice about Jamil and next thing I know I'll end up like our friend, drunkenly mistaking Leona for Jamil and then it all goes downhill from there for me. Sigh

Good evening Cheese. I am amazed... You see the light that is Jamil Viper... It truly is hypnotism at work. Luring you in with sweet words and a very strange tongue... It's okay to have some Jamil in your daily diet. Kalim would surely nod and say "Yes! Jamil is amazing isn't he?" or something like that. For him, it is okay, because it is just Jamil.

You will be next to mistake Leona for Jamil at a party. Allowing the handsomest lion I have ever seen to sweep you off your feet... Yes. It is working. This world will be filled with Ruggie propaganda... And Leona propaganda... And Jamil propaganda... Kalim as well if I can make time...

[jeanmoreausautismstickers]

this actually the funniest (and truest) tweet ever

[canisalbus]

Sighthounds are so sleepy by nature it just makes Machete even funnier that poor guy must be absolutely EXHAUSTED beyond regular standards. The greyhounds around him are baffled that he stays up all night working.

[hornetvoid]

let me take it all away (wip)

[reds-skull]

Could we possibly get Soap yelling at a recruit for trying to steal Ghosts mask, with Ghost in the background like that’s my mans.

Or something you want to do for shits and gigs because you can and it’s fun

Sorry this took a while, I kinda made a mini comic because, as you said, I can and it's fun lol

Thank you for the ask! This was quite fun to make haha

[beescake]

im a sollux kinnie and ur art is great. like a delicious meal. 1 million courses. my compliments to the chef.

AOGHHH TYSM I REALLY APPRECIATE IT

in gratitude i present a little guy doing setup for the first time 🐝

[radiance1]

The Ghost Prince does not, under any circumstances, answer a summoning after it was made aware he existed. None know why he doesn't, some are bitter and hateful of it while others are thankful that it's one less bloodthirsty manic to deal with.

The Ghost King meanwhile hasn't been seen in multiple eons, so the magical community who wanted to use his power just, stopped, trying to summon him for a long time.

Most magic users knew that the Ghost Prince never answered a summons, and that the Ghost King just dropped off the radar.

So could you really blame Constantine for not taking it that seriously when some wannabe hotshot cultists try to summon both of them in the middle of a city to wreak havoc?

He'll give them some credit though. Points for doing it in broad daylight and actually being somewhat of a threat with not relying on just summoning the Ghost royalty and figuring out what to do from there.

The area they were in was somewhat destroyed, then the cultists manage to complete the summoning circle to summon both of them and Constantine, well he just light up a smoke.

It isn't going to work anyways so what does it matter?

...

Is that a fucking Ice cream truck he hears? Who the fuck is driving an Ice cream truck while their city is being under attacked with cultists trying to summon eldritch ghost royalty?

He'll give them some points for dedication, though.

Then he looked at the cultists and nearly had a goddamn heart attack to see that the summoning circle is actually fucking lighting up and working.

The Bat is so gonna give him a headache over this.

----

Danny Phantom, crown prince of the Infinite Realms. Does not answer summons.

For one, it is annoying as shit, whenever someone interrupts his day just to ask for infinite power (that he can't give), world domination (that he won't do) or infinite riches (which he also can't do).

It just got annoying being summoned all the time so. One day he just, well, no. And hey, it worked out well enough for him to not continue doing it.

Then he also learned that Pariah Dark is basically the same, after he got out the coffin and stopped trying to take over the world for whatever reason. He was actually a pretty swell guy!

He was just with him too, with him being not so swell at the time for making him go through lessons about Ghost etiquette, rules, stuff that's expected of him as the crown prince.

And don't even get him started on the engagement and marriage proposals.

Overall, he just wanted to find an excuse to leave. Then he felt the familiar suggestive pull of a summoning and, instead of rejection as he usually does in a second. He thought for a bit if he wanted to go with that or crown prince duties.

It was tempting, but dealing with cultists seemed worse than this so he was about to reject.

At least, before he heard an Ice cream truck playing in the background. He doesn't even know how the hell that popped up through the pull but by the gods has it been a while since he's had Ice cream.

So he answers and is gone with a pop.

Pariah Dark just stares for a good second or two, before breathing out and deciding to also answer. Fright Knight is just there, off to side, questioning what he should do now.

Danny wastes no time with the cultists on the other side and in fact, he pushes them out of the way and goes diving for that Ice cream truck he hears. Only to realize he doesn't, have any money on him.

Fuck.

Pariah Dark is less inclined to follow the rules imposed by humans like money, but he does know it can be important. Once in a while. Not that often, but it has its times.

So when he sees his adopted son being sad over being unable to pay for some kind of human delicacy, he digs around in his hair (yes, his hair.) and pulls out some money and puts it on the counter as payment.

The man inside the tiny vehicle had shrieked before getting what they wanted. Which is good. Fear is a good motivator, Pariah thinks.

Unknown to him, it wasn't out of fear (Well, mostly) but because the Ghost King placed down a coin made of pure, solid gold on his counter.

The two then go about their business in the human realm, completely forgetting about the fact that they were summoned here for something.

Constantine is both relieved and about to have an aneurysm at seeing Infinite Realm royalty only answering a summon because of Ice cream.

[lucabyte]

So does anybody else ever think about how Loop felt the need to demonstrate that the party's deaths wouldn't have any effect on the loops. I know I do but that's besides the point. Anyway I don't think Loop actually needs to bathe, they just like to feel included.

[shkika]

AUGH I love VV1 so much!!! I’d love to see a wholesome bonding moment between the two of them, possibly they were questioning their identity and started to get worked up but then they coaxed themselves down

Little reassurance before they make their way to hell.

[lil-lemon-snails]

decided to draw some of your guys' tags from my harlequin sun and moon post!!! These guys are so much fun and you're all so funny >w<

[meltedbluecaterpillar]

This is not necessarily a request, but just a thought I just had after thinking about today being Friday the 13th. Can you imagine your favorites trying so hard to make your Friday the 13th a good one? But they feel like everything they do is making it worse, when in the end it is the best day you've had in awhile?

I am specifically thinking of Takemichi right now, not for me (ew :D) but for you lmao. I feel like he would try so hard to do everything to make your day better. He tries to surprise you with flowers, but it rains and now they're sad and wilted. And though it may not be what he was envisioning, you can't help but smile at the wet dog of a man in front of you. And the rain is fine anyway, it just means he has to get a change of clothes and you two can spend your evening on the couch together. The movie he rented from Amazon prime? Yeah, it won't actually play. There is video but no sound. And you know what, that's fine. You two make your own abridge movie of whatever it is, making it way funnier than the original.

Ahh, simple things in life. Friday the 13th, it's a lucky day I swear. The beings above told me so.

Good afternoon Cheese! It has been a bit, and I hope you are having a happy Friday the 13th. So far... I am accepting my iced coffee cramps like a champion. I am shaking... I am sobbing... Takemichi my honey... He's such a big sweetheart and he does his best... His big round eyes look so sad when he awkwardly presents me wilted flowers... It's okay my darling, I will dry and press them so they will live forever. He even got us a movie but it won't work... Ahhhhhh!~! I'll make up my own voice lines and we can do our best... I wanna kiss his face... It's not his fault... Not at all... The universe gave him these 'problems' to bring us closer.

He's so charming and he doesn't even know it... Takemichi... Please... I want to kiss you... You're my crybaby hero! (//////) <3

[chamiryokuroi]

Sex education in middle school at my nun run catholic school was unhinged, the teacher showed up with a glass dildo, a shoe box full of condoms and a powerpoint presentation and proceded to give the most hilarious class ever.

“Girls if he says he is too big for a condom, no he isn’t” proceeds to shove her entire arm in a condom “and if he is then he’s a horse”

Picks the “bad boy” of the class and forces him to show how to put on a condom with the glass dildo in front of everyone to our amusement.

“And if you’re going to have sex for the first time for the love of God do it when you’re not in your period or it will look like a murder scene in your bed”

[kedreeva]

We drove across the state today to set up a photo frame device for my aunt, and introduce her to Bug. While we were there, we took her and her bf to dinner across the street from her complex, and my mom texted to ask how we'd gotten my aunt over, since we're in my dad's fuckoff big truck and she's not able to climb into it. My dad texted back that he just tied a tow cable to her wheelchair and drove over, and my mom texted me to find out the truth but

My aunt laughed until she wheezed and told us to stop being so mean to her sister, but when we got back to her apartment:

She helped us get "proof" to send my mom because you gotta have a little fun teasing your siblings

[canisalbus]

This Italian greyhound(I'm pretty sure) I found on Pinterest is so machete coded. This creature is just 95% anxiety. How can one possibly possess such wet scared eyes. It looks like kid Machete was gifted a sweater by a grandma oh lord

.

[yeah-yeah-beebiss-1]

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highest-grossing multimedia juggernaut of all time

[trashedinpluto-jpg]

this is an appreciation post for elle argent's wardrobe 💖