#my life is different now
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Just finished reading the wicked book
I see so many people saying that elphaba is a very inspiring character and that shes relatable to a lot of people, that her story is very important, that her story matters. And although its mostly said through the filter of the movie i think its even more important in context of the book. Elphaba being convinced that she never accomplished anything, that everything she tried to do she failed at. And yet so many people consider her inspiring. I havent yet watched the musical, i dont know how it changes the book (probably a lot) but i too think if elphaba as inspiring despite it all. Because she tried.
#i sobbed so much when she was show the puppet show from the time dragon#and the reason for what was because she tries so hard at life#and i think i need this energy in 2025#that trying is good#and important#elphaba thropp they could never make me hate you#oh and fiyero jfc its so over#i know what happens to him in the musical and i dont know which way i prefer more#the book version is so tragic idk do we interpret that he IS the scarecrow or was he brutally murdered???#the latter is more tragic so im picking that#but perhaps the musical ver will heal my yero fae soul#my life is different now#who knew that me randomly going to see wicked would impact me this heavily#wicked#wicked spoilers#wicked book#elphaba thropp
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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Inspiring
since i can't post only sad stuff here one of my greatest masterpieces
#I have been inspired#This is#This fixes everything m#This changes everything#My life is different now#Just changed forever#Woah#Wow#Amazing#Cool#Thanks Bee#Awesome art#Awesome shitpost m#Gonna go eat this now
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Michael Afton wishes he had FNAF Movie Mike's life,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt#michael afton#elizabeth afton#fnaf movie#sister location#fnaf fanart#tbh this comic was an exist to draw different looks for Mike and Michael#it’s just cool to think about the ‘what ifs’ now and again#I think Michael does prefer Mike’s life seeing compared to his it’s currently simple#he’d love to be alive and just taking care of Elizabeth as best he can#though Mike is definitely not as enthusiastic 💀#his life would just get significantly worse if he had Michael’s life#so he’s not interested at all BAHAH#It was fun to draw them out though in swapped looks#Mike being scooped and Michael and Elizabeth being in more movie inspired clothes#my boy Michael can dream!!
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When you spend 20 years attempting to bring down the child slavery, murdering, human trafficking exploitation ring that stole your childhood, murdered your friends, and killed countless innocents only to have them rebrand as 'Noble Freedom Fighters™' off-screen.
#rip zevran's crusade against the crows >:(#when people said they wanted to be crows they didn't want devs to make the faction nice so we won't feel bad or conflicted about it#people wanted to be conflicted! they wanted to see the faction in all its glitz and glamour - then see what it hid beneath all the mystique#choose to play as a crow that loves the life/hates it/is undecided/etc...#but i'm sorry i forgot that this game doesn't want to do 'role play' options my bad#i will not stand for this zevran erasure!!!#they set up a schism with zevran's da2 codex entry - with other crows joining him!#have the antivan crows faced with a threat that challenged their outlook on why they fight#have the talons be the one to sell out antiva! in exchange for allowing their business to resume (have it be a sneaky reveal!!!)#their work has purpose and order to it so the antaam might agree! they're like 'babys first ben-hassrath!'#have Crows look around at their own home - see the vendor they bought fruit from disappear or the smiling old lady now cowed by grief#then have them decide to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT#have a schism! have Zevran take in Crows who are unhappy - have them realize how shit the organization is!#boom! somewhat-noble freedom fighters! (they're doing their best okay)#if there were differences between different crow houses they needed to explain it better...let us talk to Lucanis! I want to know him :(#my art <3#dragon age#datv critical#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#zevran arainai
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You'd think after getting your dear daycare attendant out of the Pizzaplex you would live happily ever after, hm?
look who changed their mind to post the whole thing together oops
#my art#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#moon x reader#moondrop x reader#as much as they hate being treated this way#you matter more#they are already happier than before#because you're here. close#they wish you could be happier‚ too#while you can't understand how someone is so willing to give up their personhood#you refuse to understand. refuse to let it go. they deserve so much better#and after you're gone#spending your life fighting for your loved ones#they get passed into different hands#from home to home#like properly you didn't want them to be#but they couldn't leave the work of your whole life to go to waste#and now? that it's finally done?#what can they even do?#They wouldn't even know what to do with themselves after the law is in place#because they didn't do it for themselves to begin with#you wanted then to live like people after you pass. how unfortunate#but what is properly without an owner if not a person without a sense of purpose?#long post
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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secret wars secret love you will ALWAYS be famous
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#//draws eriks weird reindeer thing differently to make this pose work// vjELAKVJEALKJV#maybe ill stick to this but i kinda like the 'barricade' vibe of the other option but anyway#mom said its MY turn to reference the famous bridal carry panel#this was supposed to be a quick warm up but as i was lining things my hand started to tremble really bad#i dont know why ??????????????? thats never happened before and my hand's perfectly fine and normal now#like my hands tremble a little from time to time but nothing ever detrimental#the trembling i had today was ACTUALLY crazy bad. had me concerned but i was also able to still draw so not that bad ig#ANYWAYS. yeah <3 i wanted to reference tha panel we all love ......#i draw this mfer carrying his mfer so much i fear i cant be stopped. charles is a princess who needs to be princess carried#i usually draw it like. An Actual Block or whatever but its flatter ... so charles may rest his weary head ...#i did draw charles getting a handful. its what he deserves. its also what i deserve but i cant have that now can i#erik living my dream too tho ..... life is so unfair i wanna carry charles xavier and kiss his head this life SUCKS#slowly being able to feed my cherik fix again we're Semi back. once i finish my work for once THEN we'll be so fuckin back jWRKLJLAKF#ok thats all from me bye bye
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Finished The Good Place several years later after dropping it right before the finale (to avoid intence emotions). Found out the last ep is called "Whenever you're ready"
#and now I'm a mess and don't know what to do with my life#the wave was just a different way for the water to be#the good place
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i was an avid anime shitter uponer until i was reformed by Akira (1988)
i have a new outlook on life and my eyes are open
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It's a Wonderful Life (1946) dir. Frank Capra
#It's a Wonderful Life#filmedit#filmgifs#tuserdana#usersugar#userfilm#cinematicsource#userbbelcher#moviegifs#classicfilmsource#fyeahmovies#classicfilmblr#classicfilmedit#old hollywood#cinemapix#mygifs#<3#idk if this is showing in tags now but hopefully#i know the crops r off but the scenes are different n i wanted to make it as even as possible#blame my ocd
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I could've been a better man, but I'm not
more lmhs megu bc i love him. he is here fr ur lunch money :>
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#fushiguro megumi#megumi#jjk atla!au#atla!au: art#atla!au: illust#lmhs#megu i love YOUUUUUUUU i have $2 in nickles and a crumpled receipt but its yours u can have it<3#i just . wanted 2 draw him fighting n looking menacing fgsfhsfk#we decided tht his bending style is an homage 2 his canon technique so ! Hands my beloved <3#had to pose in front of th mirror to get proper ref smh when will my kotobukiya hand return from war :(#honestly cruel tht we're doing this au Now before i have it JHSDG my life wld b so much easier re: bending ref if i did#well. ref fr everyone but yuuji rly#anywayyyy#decided 2 try smth different n leave the Base sketch visible ? i think i like it w th current style ive got going#makes it Soft n Sketchy#also im SO proud of my me ths the best upward tilt head angle ive ever drawn ?? n it didnt even give me any trouble????#character growth <3#*looks at clock* hey not bad ! 12:30 !#ws this....4 hours?? 5??? time blurs man idk
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Speaking of blankets, in the second movie, when Sonic tries to go to bed after coming home from Seattle, he gets under a blanket with imagery on it that's way too specific to him to be store-bought, including sneakers, a baseball and bat, a golden retriever, and an owl head, so I think it's fair to assume that the blanket was handmade, and I refuse to believe Tails and Knuckles didn't get such blankets of their own as well
Bro I’m actually going to start sobbing I never noticed that before so I went back and sure enough…….
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I NEVER noticed this before……..I’m actually choked up that’s the sweetest thing THEY LOVE THAT KID SO MUCH💙
(Anyone know what that last thing is in the top right corner? I can’t make it out?)
Oh and you just KNOW that Tom absolutely went in and made one for Knuckles and Tails too.
#genuinely losing my mind#thank you for pointing this out to me my life is different now#Tom not beating the sewing allegations this is pure fuel for the fire#sth#scu#sonic movie#sonic wachowski#sonic the hedgehog#i’m screaming
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okay but what if. video game designer marinette...
#miraculous ladybug#marinette dupain cheng#this is brainstorming for one of my WIPs technically but#i increasingly headcanon marinette as realizing in university that fashion design isn't really what she thought it would be#and then having a crisis of what the heck do she wants to do with her life. and taking a long time to figure it out#and feeling like she's falling behind because all her friends know that now. and adrien even knows what he wants to do now#and he keeps reminding her of all the times she told him not to worry. that he'd figure it out in the end. but she's like IT'S DIFFERENT#and every time she finds something she finds 100 reasons she can't do it or won't like it--mostly cause she's sort of lost faith in herself#maybe i just want to project the mid 20s experience™️on her okay? KJBADFKJDKJBGFKB#BUT YEAH SHE'LL FIGURE IT OUT IN THE END#and i think she could get so into gaming. she can't decide if she wants to do more game design or art or programming aspects#so she tries out multiple different programs before settling into a job#but then she's a badass#do you see the vision?
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the *other* part! i felt the need to draw this one too, considering the events of the latest episode...
(for @cherrifire 's dtiys! again)
/also, small thing; you can see where i messed up a bit on grian's face (that's just the downside of using biros to draw with)
#i did do this in a different order to the other piece#but still#besides i was thinking about watching skizz's pov as i kinda wanted to see how far he could go#but i guess thats not happening how i thought now :v#anyway!#my art#art#drawing#sp7 does art things#traditional art#skizzleman#skizzleman fanart#grian#grian fanart#mumbo jumbo#mumbo fanart#trafficblr#wild life smp fanart#wild life fanart#wild life smp#sorry for the ramble in my tags i will probably do it again#sp7's rambling tag#cherridtiysnail#(EDIT: HOW TF DID I FORGET TO TAG THAT?!)
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