#my life is a lot and i know this sounds like rich ppl shit now that i'm typing it but

[tbh-entp]

ok so infj invited me to a chalet at the end of this week/this weekend. Supposedly we will be skiing (which i have done literally once, he knows this) and jacuzzi-ing. imma pigeon up and tell him that i still gotta thing for him in a non joke way (the key part)

[crguang]

always love the violinist au lore drops, omg.

so...was their instructor elio? if so thats crazy. always imagined him playing a stringed instrument (like pulling strings, puppeteer-esque bc he's like manipulating the future idk) so i always pictured him playing like violin, or harp. but also maybe bass bc he's sort of setting everything up and he like tells the future, and his v basic instruction (bc lets be honest they're barely following the script, its v lenient) there just wouldnt be stellaron hunters, and usually basses keep everyone on beat, idk.

btw i've been meaning to ask, how does kafka know blade in this au? like very funny to me how the ppl she's closest to in canon are basically her coworkers 😭

also the angst, like damn. them not rlly knowing each other until they meet again, even tho kafka is literally haunted by their presence, omg. and their instructor being a piece of shit and kafka not rlly realizing until later...i can't. and r being insecure and guilty abt it all, im going to implode. and kafka practicing until her fingers bleed ik her fingers are callused af.

also r not being able to recognize that kafka likes them bc of their insecurities, and kafka wearing sunglasses to hide that bc she thinks its so obvious, I'm gonna die. ik they're so annoying whenever kfr hangs out w acheswan. and kafka inviting r to the opera saying "i have two tickets" like blade isnt right there if she rlly needed someone to go with, and she's rich probably and one ticket doesn't mean much, she's so obvious.

but honestly it'd be kind of embarrassing to admit that u like kafka, shes such a loser. could never imagine admitting to liking kafka like that.../s

my finals also didn't start out very well, but im finishing them up this week and then im free for a month. do think i will fail my last one tho. its like my worst subject and im a pretty bad test taker in the first place, but wtv, it'll totally be fine. I'm sure you'll do good tho

-🌠

oh my god i didnt even think that far but i love this a lot. elio playing a string instrument always felt right but the bass especially would be so good… violin and bass sounds right to me it’s added to the lore 😋

kafka and blade…. once again plugging this insane animation about them because while it wouldnt apply exactly to a modern au, this is the vibe they’ve always given me. like no he didnt try to kill himself in front of her but this sort of chance meeting where each of them goes “oh, this one knows emptiness.” is how i want them to find each other every time. to me, blade might be the person that understands kafka the most and his care for her makes me want to die. they obviously care a lot about each other, they’re the best friends ever for me. implicit understanding of how the other works, long comfortable silences, them going through life together… i cant stand kafblade as a ship but i cant even lie like i get it man. blade’s perception of destiny is full of pain bc he’s left to suffer through it while kafka strives to make it her own wow sorry they mean so much to me. im realizing i havent actually answered your question but thats because i havent thought about it too much hejdjfkg i want her to find him on the side of the road or something. but i believe the stellaron hunters understand kafka best that’s why they’re closest to her even if sometimes it’s not the influence she needs

https://youtu.be/EED6XGHX7DI?si=jE7KkuZtSosG0zbB

kafka with calloused hands is so important to me she’s always wearing gloves now but won’t really wear them when she’s playing the violin because it’s much more intimate that way. UGH r tracing her fingers and knuckles and going over the faded marks there… let’s all cry. hanging out with acheswan and blade has made kafka believe that she’s so obvious she has to wear sunglasses around r for her own sanity but the whole time r is thinking “does she even like me 😣😣😣”, ridiculous. they’re both so stupid it’s really insane that it took them almost 15 years to get together like what’s wrong with them.

“i have two tickets” = i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you—

i would never tell kafka i like her i don’t think this is information she needs to have… it’d be obvious tho and she’d manipulate the shit out of me because of it but thats ok this is literally me

hope your finals arent too hard bc mine are definitely not going well so far hdhdjfkg but its fine we’ll live to write gp!kafka smushots during winter break

[queenlua]

Writer interview game

tagged by @ultrakatua , hello thank you i’m a slut for attention

(if you're reading this you should feel free to consider yourself tagged, even/especially if you feel like you don't know me that well!)

When did you start writing?

Since I was pretty little… my 1st/2nd grade teacher had this thing where everyone had to write something in their journal every morning and I was SUPER tryhard about it, and when she told us we didn’t have to write about our lives, we could write about ANYTHING, I definitely started making up wild stories n shit

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I read anything and everything. I guess I wouldn’t be a very good writer of big nonfiction history tomes, but that’s mostly because it requires, y’know, knowing a lot of history first; if I had that knowledge it seems like it’d be fun to try!

I used to say “I could never write a mystery” but then I read Tana French and was like ooooh maybe mysteries are cool actually so. huh. i guess i can imagine myself trying to write just about anything once. (in practice i mostly end up writing a combination of moody litfic and shlocky scifi/fantasy)

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I’ve occasionally tried to actively emulate a specific author’s style, but that kind of thing feels kind of hard to sustain for more than the length of a writing exercise. it's kind of like trying to talk with a different accent. like, sure, you CAN train yourself to talk a different way… but i like how i talk fine, i’m too lazy to change :P

i dunno if i’ve heard many ppl comparing my writing to Actual Authors! and i lack the objectivity to figure it out myself haha

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

i do the Truman Capote thing where i mostly write lying down (but on a couch instead of in bed b/c partner is an extremely light sleeper and i do most my writing between midnight and 4am lol)

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

god i wish i knew!!! then maybe i’d be able to muster it up on demand!!!

(in fanficland i seem to tend to glom onto a specific character and then just write ten fics Examining That Character From Every Angle. in origficland it’s that but usually with some sort of archetype or folktale or something that i’ve become briefly obsessed with)

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

…I did have a moment earlier this month where I typed a line of dialogue, thought to myself “that sounds faintly familiar hm,” did a ctrl+f on my computer, and discovered I’d used a very similar line of dialogue in an abandoned WIP from seven years ago, in a scenario VERY THEMATICALLY/SITUATIONALLY familiar to the WIP i was working on, and i was like. oh my god. i so have a Type why am i like this

(in this particular situation the Theme & Variation was along the lines of “doing a Horrible Thing under duress but also none of these other fucks are willing or able to do it so i guess i gotta, jfc.” skimming over my past few pieces, inasmuch as there’s any commonality between them, i think i can point at, like… “feeling trapped by a mostly-internal sense of obligation that is nonetheless *experienced* as though it were external,” “people talking past each other for very good yet nonetheless tragic reasons,” “clueless rich guys,” “angry women contemplating murder”)

((wait, also: awful dinner parties and awful sex. fuck, why didn’t i lead with that one. i want to write awful dinner parties and bad sex for the entire rest of my life))

What is your reason for writing?

passes time between now and the grave

(less glibly: i get pretty unhappy if i go a long time without Making something, and of all my creative-ish abilities, writing is the one i find most satisfying)

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Once I finished playing a game, thought to myself “that was good but I really want backstory for [character] and actually I’m pretty sure I have the only correct take on said backstory,” and then proceeded to write that fic. A commenter came in saying “hey I came here because I was really craving backstory for [character] and now I can stop reading because yours is clearly The One that I was looking for, thanks." That felt really good! how often have i had to write a fic, not because I wanted to, but because NO ONE ELSE had written the one I wanted to read??? Glad to spare you some trouble, random internet person.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

for origfic: the author is dead babey. do not perceive me. i am not here

for fanfic: i still don’t mind if the reader simply Does Not Perceive Me; the work itself is the thing i care most about. but, y’know. if someone reads my fic & is like “i’m insane about this character in the exact same way Lua is, i’m-a slide into her DMs,” i’m very down for that, lol. it’s like whale songs. i’m out here singing my goofy tune and maybe i never hear anything back but if i do that’d be a sweet bonus

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

hmmmm. i’m never quite sure how to think about this sort of question… people often answer with something like “dialogue” or “descriptive imagery” or whatever, but that started to feel kind of weird to me at some point? like pointing at a symphony piece and being like “the low winds were especially good at staying in tune,” like it may be a correct observation, but also the whole orchestra has to be in tune to *some* extent for the piece as a whole to work, and when it *is* working the thing you point out as a strength isn’t gonna be something ticky-tack like that

…but i’m not sure what i’d specifically point to as a higher-order thing haha. i guess, last time i reread some of my own stuff, i was pretty pleased with how much interpersonal *tension* there was in various “ppl talking in rooms” scenes (see: awful dinner parties), so maybe something along those lines

How do you feel about your own writing?

arguably the main reason to write fanfic is so I can go back and reread it 2+ years later and be like “damn this shit rules, bitch was really onto something there”

(i like it! it’s pretty fun good stuff! a pleasing mix of action/plottiness/gratuitousness and, like, actual character and narrative work)

[pop-punklouis]

Hiii love 💗

I'm feeling better year!! My ears are annoyingly still closed which is bizarre but otherwise good! How have you been 💞

Yeah no it wasn't the best time to come to England probably, it deffo gets pretty cold! I'm still waiting for snow here ahhh so cool that it snowed for y'all! Snow is still so new to me and idk if I'll ever stop being in awe of it. Unfortunately I'm not a big fan of soup (smth about the texture 😩) mum sometimes makes varieties of rice with chicken which is always a filling, warm meal. I also just like peach tea and coffee when it's cold lmaooo

Oooh shit I should watch home alone we should've done that for Christmas tbh. We just watched some local movies (in my language) and I think we watched some horror movies for whatever reason bc we thought it'd be fun to do that while also being a lil tipsy 😭😭 it WAS fun though

Re: inspiration: oh same. H and L and the fandom were the biggest reasons I felt comfortable with my sexuality too and being open about it at least on the internet and it means a lot to me bc I can't really get to do that irl. I'm so happy they could provide that safe space for you! Both of them continue to be my safe/happy/comfort ppl as they always have been, and has truly been the light during some of the worst years of my life so I think it'll stay like that for a while at least.

Re: song: that's so sweet bless. It's a good song too! A song that's been a constant fave is Brave by Sara Bareilles.

Last question before I reveal myself tomorrow: what would you consider some of your achievements this year?

It's not quite midnight here, and I'll wish you tomorrow anyways but happy new year in advance babe! It's been so wonderful for me to get to know you over this month, I love that you always matched the spirit and energy of my asks and random questions 🦋

Sending you all the love and best vibes ever xx

~🌱

hi babe!!! 🤍

i’m glad you’re at least feeling better. having ear aches/stopped up ears is one of the worst feelings so i feel for you :/

noooo you not being a big fan of soup perhaps this is the end of this blossoming friendship 💀🔪 but yeah coffee/tea are always good when it’s cold. speaking of hot drinks, when i was smaller i was big into hot chocolate when it was cold but i had some for the first time in years last month and it….. disappointed me severely lol it was so rich and as someone who isn’t a big fan of milk chocolate as it is anymore it was whew

wait omg horror movies for christmas and while blitzed sounds so fun. very much an on brand for me to do i cannot believe i’ve never done that before djdjdk i bet it was a blast. what horror movies did you guys end up watching 👁

yeah HL are good souls and have made me feel warm and seen and present for many years so i don’t see that feeling disappearing for a bit either. i love hearing about how they’ve impacted others too it’s always so lovely 🤍

since it’s technically new year now for us all, happy 2023 babe!!! i hope your new year is full of so much warmth and love and kindness ✨ i’m so glad we’ve been able to talk over the past month and get to know each other. i’ve looked forward to your messages and your thoughts so thank you for helping to make my december sweet 🫶🏼

sending you all my love 4ever 🫂

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

hi I usually love ur takes n some of them have literally meant a lot to me when I was struggling to find myself n somewhat still am but not this time. there's absolutely no need to even try to defend the rich texan man jus cus disappointment isn't a new thing for u guys who've been in the fandom for years. horrible behaviour w/ fans need not be normalised under any circumstances n there's just no need to say 'oh the rich white man mustn't have heard the question or the crying he's not like that.' No. Just no. The solution of going in w/ no expectations may be rational but that's not what happened right. We fully expected to be disappointed wrt destiel n I personally expected a full jomophobe panel tbh but not this shit w/ the grieving fan & girl!jack. if ppl are calling him out on being shitty I absolutely don't see the need to call it an overexaggeration on our part. Sorry it got too long. Sorry if I've hurt you in any way, not my intention. I love you and your patience.

okay so i got a lot of asks yesterday, the day Jensen Said The Thing About Jack, far more than i can possibly answer. and while the majority were positive support (and thank you so much to everyone who sent support, i see you and i love you), but i got several hostile, antagonistic asks, and there was a particular reoccurring theme in them that i did not have the cognitive energy to address yesterday.

however, i have now had time to have a good old fashioned shower argument session, so i'm going to write this out, and i'm choosing this ask because it was at least less hostile than others.

here's the thing. basically everyone who was hostile to me used the exact same words: "why are you defending the rich white middle-aged texan man."

they said those words over and over. rich white middle-aged texan man. rich white middle-aged texan man.

now, if you don't know, i happen to be a white person who has lived in texas my entire life, and is closer to middle-aged than i'd prefer. just so we're all starting on the same page here.

while it's a dangerous thing to do on tumblr, i would like to try and deconstruct some of the logic here.

it appears as though the argument to this statement is simply, "this person has multiple axes of privilege, therefore he is wrong by default and everyone agreeing with him is wrong by default." it appears as though the argument is, "a debate on morality and correct vs incorrect is won or lost based on the amount of privilege held by those having the debate".

because, let me make it perfectly clear: i never said that jensen did absolutely nothing wrong. i never "poor baby"d him. i said that he was probably stressed out and anxious and he probably didn't mean it to come out the way it sounded, but i completely understood why people felt grossed out and upset by what he said. i said that i would like for someone to sit him down and explain to him why what he said was gross so he could do better, because i think that he's a sincere person would do better once he knows better. i did not pull the "stop being so mean to my poor little meow meow" routine. i discussed the subject at length, with what i think is a proper degree of nuance.

but every time i wrote 500 words of nuance, somebody else told me "stop defending the rich white middle aged texan man."

and i don't want to get into a whole essay here, but like..... do you people understand that each one of those things are not, in of themselves, bad?

yes, jensen is "rich", but is not wealthy. if you don't know the difference between 10 million and 10 billion, please do some math. he's a c list celebrity, not elon musk. yes, jensen is white. so am i. so is misha. so are lots of quite decent people. yes, jensen is middle aged. are we really gonna get ageist here and act like not being 20 is a character flaw? all of you will be middle aged someday.

yes, jensen is from texas. do you know why texas is shitty? because of gerrymandering and voter suppression, not because the people who live here suck worse than anywhere else. i see people make posts going "lmao he's literally from texas" like it's hilarious. donald trump was born in new york. what's your fucking point?

and yes, jensen is a man. is radfem rhetoric really so pervasive that i need to say that being a man is not bad? i mean like, it's one thing to vent and joke about men as a class, it's another thing entirely to act as though being a man makes you a bad person. men are not bad. men are fucking great. i love men.

and the thing is, i say all of this, but of course you know it already. because two days ago you knew that jensen was a rich white middle-aged texan man, and you still called him "king" and parasocialized like fucking crazy. when you thought he was gonna go out on stage and say "dean wants cas to fuck him in the ass" you LOVED him, you wanted to suck his dick. you didn't care that he was a rich white middle-aged texan.

but, when he didn't say the things you were demanding he say, you turned on him. he wasn't your king anymore. and then he fumbled a lame joke that was, at worst, casually sexist. (i will no longer entertain anyone saying he sexualized a child. if you cannot understand that alex calvert is in his thirties i do not know what to say to you anymore.) and it's completely fair to say "i don't like that joke, it was casually sexist and made me feel gross." that is completely fair.

BUT. with that, you have to admit that you're not upset about jensen being a rich white middle-aged texan man, you're upset about what he said. and, again, that's fair, as long as you're not twisting it into shit it wasn't. anyone who's upset and grossed out by the "a few more glances" comment, i sympathize with you. i'm not excusing the fact that he said it.

so... we're back to the fact that when i was discussing this, i was trying to discuss the morality of what he said, and whether those of us having the discussion were correct or incorrect in what he meant by what he said. and over and over, people responded with the "rich white middle aged texan man".

which, if you've made it this far, brings me to my ultimate point: i don't know how to tell you this, tumblr, but morality and correctness is not determined by privilege.

the most marginalized person in the room is not inherently the most moral person in the room, or the kindest. being gay or Black or disabled or poor doesn't make you a good person. being kind makes you a good person. and i guess this might be controversial on here, but sometimes privileged people are kind, and sometimes marginalized people are unkind assholes.

i was not defending jensen because he's white or a man, but because i think he's kind, and i think the people trashing him were both unkind and incorrect. i am not going to become so fucking brainrotted that i say "kill him" because the him in question is a white man who said one mildly upsetting thing, and i'm not gonna just go along with people who do.

i do not fucking like the way my dash turned so swiftly from kissing jensen's ass when they thought he was gonna say something gay to literally calling for him to be murdered because he said one dumb thing. the way people acted was unkind and cruel and undeserved, and i don't care how marginalized you are, if you are unkind and cruel for sport, i don't like you. you make fandom a terrible place.

i will defend anyone that i think is a kind, genuine person, and i will call out anyone who i think is an unkind asshole. i don't care if you're gay or trans or a person of color, if you're an unkind asshole, i'm not going to stand by you. your oppression is not an excuse for being a shitty ass person.

and before i end this post that DID turn into an essay despite my best efforts, there's one more thing i'd like to bring up that i found... interesting.

as soon as the dash starting going to hell over The Comment, i immediately saw people saying things like "well what do you expect from a straight man." and those people were the SAME people who have spent months making jokes about jensen being "[gunshots]" and gleefully partaking in my cockles masterlist. in other words, these people have spent nigh a year joking around and agreeing that jensen is a queer man.

but the moment he displeased them, he became a straight man again. as if being queer is only reserved for good people (you do know that queer men can be sexist, right?) and straight = bad. as though they were punishing a queer man by calling him straight.

and ultimately, i think my point is that you don't say "(straight) rich white middle-aged texan man" because you think those really are inherently bad things, because you were a fan of jensen five minutes ago. i think you say that so you have an excuse to be mean. just fucking nasty and unkind and violent and disgusting, really.

as long as he's all those things, there's no problem with saying that he should be shot in the head, right? because of course, it would be Wrong and Terrible to say that a poor disabled native lesbian should be shot in the head because she said something that upset you, right? and the difference would be because, uh... because being marginalized inherently makes you Good and being privileged inherently makes you Bad? so as long as the person in question was born under certain circumstances, it's totally cool and funny to make jokes wishing violent death upon them.

and, before anyone comes to tell me i'm a hypocrite, then, for saying rude things about jared, i'm going to explain, if i must, that the reason i hate jared is because he's not only a self-centered bigot, but because he thinks being cruel for sport is funny. do you get my point?

lastly, before i press post, i'm going to say this one more time: jensen absolutely did not hear that girl crying from backstage. i have been in a convention audience and not been able to clearly hear what a questioner said, because they are not mic'd as well as the person onstage. that is not an excuse, that's just a fact. some event coordinator told jensen to round up misha for the next thing on the schedule, jensen did not know what was currently going on, and he came out teasing in a way that would have been perfectly fine if the question was light-hearted, which they usually are. someone asking a question involving how to cope with the death of their abusive father is simply not what is typically happening at convention panels. he didn't. fucking. know.

at this point, i think that you guys actually just enjoy tearing people down and manipulating something into an excuse to be cruel. you view real, actual human people with feelings as toys to be played with, and when they don't dance the way you like, you throw a tantrum. and if that's what you want out of fandom, stop making any pretense of valuing kindness.

[golbrocklovely]

I’m not trying to be rude but I get so sick of hearing Sam talk. Like yes we know life isn’t easy but sir you have two mansions lmao I feel like he gives the same energy as kim k telling people to get off their ass and work. Rich people are so detached from reality and sadly Sam seems to be one of them. Sure he makes some good points here and there but most of the time it’s just a bunch of nonsense bullshit

this might have turned into a bit of rant here but i'm constantly think about this type of stuff anytime sam goes on his spiels lol

i think one of the things i've always hated about celebrities, influencers included, is that they all like to pretend that they just worked hard and that's how they got where they are. and while that's true to some extent, to pretend that luck wasn't also a huge factor pisses me off deeply. to just tell ppl "work hard and you'll go far and succeed" is such a cop out to admitting that hard work can only do so much for you. and if luck isn't on your side, you're not gonna be as successful as you want to be. that's just a fact.

so with sam, and colby too, while they definitely have worked their asses off, i also think a lot of it was also right-place-right-time and luck. and maybe that luck manifested itself into smart business decisions. maybe their luck was being born attractive thus ppl paying attention to them more. maybe it's a whole list of other shit i can't think of. either way, they were lucky. and for both of them to not admit that, or at least not tell ppl that that to some degree that's how they got where they are now, is annoying.

and as for what sam talked about on snapchat….. oh brother lmao

this is gonna be a long winded story, but it goes with what i think about sam. so i went to a liberal arts university. and since i was in the arts side of the school, i knew plenty of philo majors. i also had to take a bunch of philo classes myself (plus my brother was a philo major too) so while i'm not the smartest about all different types of philosophies, i've heard of a lot of them and can understand them decently well. and one of the things i HATED when i was in college was the amount of ppl, literal teenagers/young adults, claiming to know the meaning of life or trying to argue which one was right or not. and i think the reason why i hated it so much is bc i was literally suicidal the last two years of college. and at the time i hated hearing about "oh life is about this and that and this other thing" when life to me has never had meaning. even now, while i'm mentally a lot more healthy than i was back then, life doesn't have meaning. but i don't mean that in a cynical or sad way. i just mean that i don't think there is an answer. you're supposed to exist, and what you make of that existence is your own meaning or reason. i don't think there is one mold that fits everyone. especially when you haven't lived that much life. and on top of all of that, i don't think the meaning to life, if there is one, is easy to find. so a random 20 year old in philly ain't gonna know it lol

most times, it felt like a lot of the ppl that were saying what they thought the meaning of life was, or just generally any philosophy that they were talking about, it sounded to me like they were trying to sound deeper for the sake of looking smarter. they wanted to come across as intelligent so that's why they were saying nonsense.

so, to bring this back to sam, he reminds me of those ppl i went to college with. good ppl, kind ppl, but they were only speaking to sound smart. and personally to me, i would much rather talk about "vapid" things than pretend to talk about something i don't understand fully (or might not even have an opinion on). plus, sam hasn't had a bad life and hasn't had any crazy experiences, at least to my knowledge. and i'm not trying to discredit him just bc he hasn't had any major death or loss in his life, but… when you have experienced hardships, things are put into perspective in a way that ppl who haven't experienced that type of stuff just don't see. i don't wish the life i've lived on anyone bc i've experienced a lot of terrible things. at the same time, i've grown from those experiences and realize what truly matters and what doesn't.

it also helps that i'm extremely introspective, which i kinda think is sam's major issue: he isn't. every book he reads is a how-to book; how to be stoic, how to influence ppl and make friends, how to speed read, ect. i think he's doing everything in his power to find himself in other ppl's work. "oh see, i relate to how stoic ppl act", "i can see myself doing something like that to make friends". he's trying to understand himself thru other ppl's work instead of just looking inward and trying to figure things out. which is why i find it funny he talked about emotions for a while on snapchat bc i was just like "…you are one of the most emotionally constipated ppl i've ever not met. what the fuck do you know about controlling your emotions?" but then it kinda makes sense bc that's all he does is control his emotions. he needs to express them more.

like i'm extremely expressive with mine, and i might react with them a lot, but i don't just blow up at ppl. i think most ppl who are emotional based in their thinking or acting aren't constantly angry or sad. and plus i've gone on this rant before, but those two emotions are always used as the negative emotions when i really wish ppl would realize there is no negative emotions. the only thing that can be perceived as negative is your reaction to your own emotions and what you do with them.

to kinda connect this all together, i think some of this type of stuff is why i always disliked metalife. for the short period of time i was on there, i just… didn't get why ppl were going insane for the shit snc were talking about. like a lot of what they were saying was either really basic or not as deep and profound as others claimed it was. not to mention, even if i wanted to follow with what they were telling me, it's hard to see two privileged white guys who haven't had even an ounce of the struggle i've had tell me life is worth living and all i gotta do is put in the work and i'll succeed.

they don't want to seem like they're above us, but they're trying to tell us this information from the top of their grand staircase in their gated community mansion so…. it's a little hard to listen lol

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—��� -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[kimnjss]

grand gesture | ksj

⤑  series: sugar free

⤑ genre: angst, rich!jin x artist!reader, college au.

⤑ rating: PG13

⤑ word count: 1.5K

⤑ warnings: there aren’t any, lmao.

⤑ A/N: this is a bit short, but it’s straight to the point and meant to be that way!! just felt like this part worked better written then told through text, so yeah you’ll see what i mean! let me know what you think x

A full week passed. A full week of ignored gifts being dumped on your front porch. You were seriously considering selling them, no desire to collect his half ass-ed apology. This was the exact reason why you were hesitant to get involved with him in the first place. He was exactly like how you thought he'd be.

Of course, he'd approach you on a bet. Of course, this would all be about money. It was all that kid cared about. The way he was flaunting it, trying to buy your forgiveness was proof enough. Did he not get it? Was he that dim?

The only thing that bothered you about this whole situation was the time you wasted hanging around him. All that time you could've used working on projects or perfecting your craft... spent and wasted with the hope of trying to get to know the guy. What a waste.

Despite the constant interruption of a knock at your front door, you had decided that you were going to use all this new free time to concentrate on your art. Summoning all the inspiration you could to create... something. It actually was harder than you thought, feeling unbelievably uninspired and a little bit sad.

From your friends, you had requested they didn't pop in whenever they wanted. Felt like you'd work better if you had a chance to be alone. What you didn't realize was that with all this alone time you really had a chance to evaluate your feelings... what you had been suppressing since that night out with Jin.

It had been obvious to the people around you, but you refused to listen. It was hard to ignore now. You were a bit sad, to be honest. It had been a while since you were able to let go and actually enjoy being around someone... romantically, and you hadn't expected it at first but you really were starting to like him.

Things were comfortable around him, he was funny in a nice way, cared a lot about keeping things light, and actually listened when you ranted about whatever was bugging you at the time. It had only been a few weeks spent with him, two dates in that time but you really enjoyed yourself.

A little bummed that it had to end this way. Couldn't help but wonder if you had overreacted, if you should have listened when he tried to text you about it. Stopped being so stubborn and forgave him like everyone had said that you should. Maybe then you wouldn't be this miserable, suffering from this horrible artist's block, you didn't even know if you were holding your paintbrush correctly.

The welcomed knock on your door had you standing a little too quickly, ready to ditch this blank canvas and see whatever had been sent your way. Nothing came in yesterday and you had assumed he got the hint... hoped he hadn't.

There's an arch in your brow at the lack of delivery man at your front door. With confusion written in your features, you're putting the front door open; eyes landing on a sad-looking Seokjin. He's dressed casually, opposite of the expensive tops and form-fitting jeans he usually put on. Pair of joggers and a plain t-shirt. The change was nice, made him look younger.

He shifted on his feet, hands behind his back eyes trained on his sneakers. You had to fight the smile that pushed it's way onto your lips, happy to see him standing in front of you – but quickly reminding yourself why he had to show up like this in the first place. Main priority was to be strong in this situation, figure out what he was doing here and deal with it. Not swoon and go all heart-eyed just because he showed up.

He should've shown up before all of this.

“What are you doing here? No ridiculously expensive coat to add to the donation pile?” Jin shifts at the sound of your voice, lifting his head to look up at you. He looks sad that you can't help but wonder if you're being a bit mean to him.

Although, him betting on your sex life was pretty mean in itself, right? Getting you to like him just to turn around and make you apart of some sick joke, that's mean.

“N-no, no gifts... they weren't working anyway,” He sighs, arm reaching up to rub at the back of his neck in the awkward way you notice he was always doing. Couldn't believe you had started to find the action cute.

“Yeah, sucks. You can't buy someone's forgiveness,” There's bite in your tone but he doesn't flinch, just looks down nodding his head. “Yeah, I deserve that. I shouldn't have treated this like some business transaction. I hurt you... I should've manned up and came to you.”

You're reading to rip into him again until his words are registering in your mind. Did he come here to... apologize? Eyes blinking as you stare at him, Jin takes your silence as a sign he should continue.

“Yn, I'm sorry. I hate that I fucked with you like that and even more that you're upset. I know you won't forgive me, I'm not expecting you to... I just figured I should at least say it, like for real, you know? We were having a good time together and I really like you, so I owe you at least a proper apology.”

There's a warmth that spreads throughout your body at hearing his words. Not sure if it was from the apology or the fact that he had just told you... to your face, that he liked you. What you had been wanting to hear this entire week was an explanation from him, not through text and not in the form of some designer shoes... like a real explanation. Could see yourself forgiving him if he gave you that.

“Why'd you do it?” Your voice is quieter than you remember as if you're afraid of the reason. Either way, you don't back down. Staring straight at him as if you're strong, waiting to hear what he has to say. “Because I liked you. And I know how stupid that sounds, but I was too chicken shit to do something about it... so I just used the bet as an excuse,”

Jin had said that you didn't have to forgive him, but that didn't stop the hopeful look in his eyes. Watching as you tossed his words around in your head, waiting for that smile of yours to appear as you told him that it was all okay. That you forgave him and if he promised he never did something stupid like this again, you two could go back to falling for each other as you had been before.

It didn't come. Instead, you were just nodding, taking a step back into your house. “Alright, well... thanks for coming here and apologizing.”

“So that's it?” The words are falling from his lips before he has a chance to stop them. Not realizing how expectant they sound, how he had promised himself he wouldn't act that way at this moment because he knew you hated it. “I mean... were you thinking we could, maybe, try again?” You can hear the hope in his voice and you don't miss it.

Did you want to try again? Let him in all over again as he attempted to break down your walls, he had done a pretty good job at it before. Were you ready for all that? All that came with being with him... like actually being with him. Before it had been different, you weren't sure of your feelings then, but now, you knew that you'd want more from him. An actual relationship. Would he even be able to do that?

“Was that what you were hoping for? Why you came by to apologize?” He's shaking his head before the words can fully leave your mouth.

“No, I came here because you deserved a proper apology because I was sick of being a coward about all of this. I want to be with you because... well because you're amazing and I don't want to miss out on that,” He's offering a small smile up to you, one you're returning almost instantly.

Still, there's something holding you back, but you're unable to place it. Needed to figure out what it was before you were leaping into a relationship with the guy. “Could I...? Could I think about it?”

“Yes, yeah!” The smile on his lips grows as he steps off of your porch, mission accomplished. “Take all the time you need to think about it... you can call me when you decide? My numbers the same!” You can't help but laugh at his quick shift of demeanor, the way he basically runs down your driveway before you can change your mind.

You stand and watch the entire time he jogs down the street until he's ducking into his car, and speeding off with a wave out the window. A hand lifts to wave back, heart thudding in your chest as you stepped back into your house. About to give this situation some serious thought... were you really going to be able to handle being with Kim Seokjin?

– rich, spoiled and a bit of a womanizer. but underneath all of that, there’s a heart of gold. and no matter how determined she is to reject him, he won’t stop trying until she sees he’s kinda sweet.

↲ masterlist ↳

taglist: @randomkoalablog​​​ @smoljams​​​ @dee-ehn​​​ @jaiuneamesolitaiire​​​ @lilacdreams-00​​​ @sw33tnight​​​ @bangtansonyeondayyyum​​​ @okblve​​​ @jinhitwhore​​​ @tae165​​​ @hellotherehoneybee​​​ @bangtansbun​​​ @betysotelo18​​​ @cherriigguk​​​ @koostime​​​ @kooinluv​​​ @butterflylion​​​ @kookiesjoonies​​​ @uxwi​​​ @honeyoongles​​​ @imajiningseokjin​​​ @amoreguk​​​ @beeeb05​​​ @tommasauras​​​ @bluefaeriefury​​​ @butterflylion​​​ @withlovestudyblr​​​ @samros95​​​ @korkanswers​​​ @houseofarmanto​​​ @soulstaes​​​ @thesunisup-theskyisblue​​​ @jinsearth​​​ @aizuwusho​​​ @moonb0yy​​ @tan-dulset​​ @8sjaf​​​ @mini-coop25​​​ @marifujioka​​​ @sunskook​​​ @elliemeetsevil​​ @ratking101​​ @leovaldezisfire​​​ @greyaceupyoursleeve​​ @emmy17jane​​

A/N: timestamps are important throughout the fic!! if you want to be added to the taglist, send me an ask! also if you asked to be on the taglist and aren’t on there, it’s because tumblr sometimes doesn’t let me tag ppl for some reason.

[chaoslynx]

Hi Chaos!! I hope you're having a great day! If u feel comfy answering, I'd be really interested in knowing ab ur perspective about potentially studying English at college and pursuing writing as a career. Most ppl I've talked to have discouraged me from both in favor of doing some science shit and writing on the side cuz financially it's kinda unstable but anyway I was wondering what you think

Okay, I'm going to start this off with please please please do not make me the only advice you listen to on this. You asked for my thoughts, and I'm going to give them to you, 100% honestly. Just my own personal opinion. That does not mean that you should necessarily listen to me just because I'm a person you might admire(?) online. In fact, I'm about to say something that you're probably not going to like.

I dropped out of college. After five years of changing my major a bunch and not ever graduating, I dropped out due to covid-19 complications, six weeks before I would have graduated with a B.S. in Psychology. I had completed over 150 credits in a university that requires 120 to graduate, but they weren't all in the same major, so I never actually graduated. I went through majoring in economics, computer science, electrical engineering, applied mathematics, and eventually psychology with a medical focus. I had no idea what I wanted to do, and I hated school because I didn't know why I was there.

My opinion on this shit now? I encourage people to not go to college unless two things are true. One: They know what they want their next (not necessarily final!) career to be. And two: That career requires a college degree.

Not every career requires a college degree. Some require trade school or a certificate, and some don't require any higher education. Writing is ... an interesting one. What are you wanting to do with your writing? The hard fact is that a B.A. in English probably isn't a actually going to help you be a novelist. The things you learn in school while getting that B.A. might, but you can also just ... teach them to yourself without going into debt. There are some things like performance (acting/singing) that don't necessarily require a college degree, but (from what I've heard) it might be worth it for the connections you can make while in school. Connections in writing could be helpful too—literary agents definitely pay more attention if you're a referral—but honestly I'm not certain how likely you'll be to make those while at college?

Science shit usually does require a college degree, but ... if you're not interested in it, that's going to be 4+ years of suffering through a major you hate in college, plus however long you stay in the field after that.

I'm going to say right now that I think you should absolutely pursue writing as a career. Hands down. If that's what you want to do? Yes.

That being said, that doesn't necessarily mean an English degree. And ... unfortunately, pursing writing as a career usually does involve a "day job." In fact, most published authors are ... not rich. A lot of those authors that you see on the shelves at Barnes & Noble—not the big name ones, of course, but many of them? They still have day jobs.

Advances on a debut novel are often around $10,000. And yeah, that's a lot of money! But that's $10k for the months or years that went into writing, editing, and publishing that novel. And you don't make any royalties until you earn out that $10k. Also, that's pre-tax and with no benefits.

I know this sounds harsh, but yeah. Many authors have a day job. Does that have to be science? No. It can be anything. But it is totally possible for you to go to school for science shit or anything else that interests you, and while going to school and working after, still be writing on the side. Or you could try to find a career/trade that's mindless and gives you time to think about your writing. Maybe something with your hands, or number crunching. Whatever works for you. But if you're interested in science, that could be a good "for now" plan!

No career needs to be final. No college major needs to be final, either. If you start school for one thing—or even if you graduate and start a career in one thing—that doesn't mean you're stuck with it for life. Maybe you decide to go for the English degree, and realize ... I already know all of this shit. They're making me read and write things that are taking the fun out of it. So don't stay! Change your major or drop out.

Adults are going to tell you (I'm assuming that you're ~18) that this is an important time of your life, that these decisions are going to affect your whole life, blah blah blah. And yeah, you know what? Every time is an important time of your life. Every decision you ever make impacts the rest of your life. So fuck it, man. Do what you want to, and if it doesn't work out, try something else.

I sometimes regret going to college at all, but at the time I made the decision that I thought was best for me. And that's what you're about to do, too. And it'll work out in the end.

[nbdybutkj]

You prolly won’t see this but I’m jealous of how you and a few others just left social media. I have tried to quit before and yk didn’t succeed but I want to. Badly. Any tips on how or idk... anything that would help me?

Ummm I- It’s a lot to take in. A lot to type however!!!! if you really want to know, you’ll read it.

So first thing... Um... I’m not too sure where to start. Idk you so I would like to ask this, why do you want to leave social media behind? There’s a lot of ppl on social media and shit tons who aren’t on it too. And not just older ppl, they are young ppl who aren’t on it either. For me.... Okay so I was NOT fully in control of my own social media as I have a management team and everything, I wasn’t on it hours a day. Some days it was 25 minutes, sometimes less than that and sometimes adding up the times from the whole day it would average to be MAYBE 45 minutes but it wasn’t consistent. Some days it was not even 10 minutes. Social media isn’t how it used to be. It’s gotten worse and there’s a lot of toxicity on social media and it’s crazy how ppl are trying to normalize crazy shit or toxic shit as if it was something normal as hair growing out of our heads🤦🏽‍♂️ I started to see social media for what it really is. I started getting into different things yk? I kept busy and did a lot of shit. I found other things to do, so like if you were the type to use social media when you need a break from work, kids, schoolwork, friends WHATEVER it may be, for me, I would find other things to do. Yk? I actually find it disgusting how ppl are addicted or don’t even realize that they feel like they have to go scroll or see this picture or watch this video on whatever social site. But back to the main point, if you need a break find things that ease you. Sitting down on social media is doing what for you exactly? Maybe entertaining you or taking your mind off of your problem but what is it really bringing to YOU?? Let’s say you like to cook, bake or sing or dance. Why not find recipes to try out? Pick up on notes, practice singing or CREATING your own choreography? If that’s not what you’re interested in, or if you don’t know what you like at all. Do some self exploring! Like writing, or studying, drawing, painting, shopping, going on walks, swimming, try some weird food combos, try to learn a new skill or trick. Perfect your craft. Try having conversations with ppl and not just hey wyd convos, really have conversations that are meaningful that you can take away from or learn about the other person. If you like to knit or color go do that, if you like math or puzzles then go do that. You’ll learn a lot of shit by stepping back and analyzing things. Find something you researched and thought it was amazing, learn some trivia, find out what you can do to better yourself or make money or learn some skills. Further yourself. Learn how to form your own way of things. Like literally it is all within you. Your 2nd question was why did I leave. Well, this is a long read too. I left bc for 1, the group was talking about it and I realized a lot things about myself, I again saw it for what it was and I met ppl who don’t have it. So many of them were happy or had something about them that made them special or different. They even had their own set of skills. I think they’re amazing ppl. Um after doing it, I felt much better. Extremely better even tho that may sound like its an exaggeration, I felt great. Like a huge relief and my mind was into this “What do we start on now?” Mode. I did it without thinking too much. (Tbh tho, overthinking can do damage or fearing holds you back from the other side of success.) So I did it and I was proud of myself. The more I’m off of it tho, I’m changing. Almost everything. I feel like I got my life back tbh. If you need ANY further help or tips or want to explore more of what I think or how I can help, comment and I’ll send you a text from a secondary page where I’ll text you but here on my main page I don’t allow messages from ppl unless I’m following them. 52 # of books the average CEO reads. “The more you learn, the more you earn” and that doesn’t always mean money, you can be rich in a lot of areas of yourself and your life without it always meaning money. 💯❤️ peace and love to you if you read this far❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ EDIT : 60 is the # of books my bad guys

[tellywoodtrash]

Hi TTji, here I am with more TV digest. SP: MHRW - Amma replaced by new actor with HECK LOT foundation to 'darken' her and Raghav is TPDBD. Same plot (luck again FL, ML taking badla, FL turns innocent, ML being savior) in a loop. YRKKH - Sensible for time being. Sirat's ex is in picture. Kartik & Sirat have healthy convos. Obv Rhea is dying to break the marriage and grab most wanted Munda for herself. SNS - Most sensible leads as of yet? The show still remembers she wants education??? [1/4]

Aksjdlsakjdlskajdlskajldkjslj TPDBD has truly entered myyyyy daily vocabulary as well. It’s such an amazingggggg acronymmmm. Fitteh muh on these fucking ppl who can’t just hire one actual dark skinned actress. I hate this show without even watching it because of everything it stands for. It offends me on a personal level. 🤬🤬🤬

Ofc YRKKH mein abhi bhi shaadi ka silsila jaari hi hai. Ouff, India ke wedding industry ko iss ek hi couple ne kaayam rakha hua hai. 🤑🤑🤑

SNS ke baare mein I never cared, and I never will. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

YHC - Not Chaahat, only mystery and horror like Aahat. FL attempting to expose villains but ML blind cuz it's his true mum and step bro. Anu - Overdramatically yet sensibly depicting divorce and it's ripple effects on fam (kisses for healthy maa-beta & saas-bahu jodi). SM - Preeti is replaced by Nupur from MJHT.  KT pretends to be good friend Keertan and shitty rich dude KT to Nu-*cough* Mohi/Preeti. Idk abt the kids. Imlie - Malini reacts normally seeing Imlie wear her sindoor. Finally [2/4] 

NO CHAAHAT, ONLY AAHAT 🤣🤣🤣

Anupama, SM, aur Imlie reiterating the life lesson ki pyaari beheno, zindagi mein kuch bhi karo, parrr shaadi mat karo, saaaaalon tak siyaapa hi siyaapa hai. Just be single, have awesome friends and pets, aur mazze ke life jiyo.

SAAKK - FL thinks ML in love with ex. ML clears the air, tells *cough* yells I LOVE YOU DAMNIT *oh wait that was another show* but same and FL is like WOAH. PANDYA - No one realises the DISASTER getting FL forcibly married to her beloved's brother (who marries his own lover) cuz now she gotta live in the same house with her beloved but as his bhabhi? ANNS - The  blind ML has been the most aware ML in ITV history. Understands to-be-wife being slighted and flips shit! Next is Zee, Sony & Colors 

SAAKK ki incredibly cute FL is stuck in such a michmichi-inducing (for me) show ke mera dillllllllllllll dukhta hai. Koi isko aur GHKPM ke Sai ko bas foreign bhej do where they can do padhaai and become their best selves without being distracted by boy troubles. Sahi kehte hain desi maa-baap, padhai ke waqt ladkon ke chakkaron mein nahi padna chahiye, warna poori zindagi kharaab ho jaati hai. Abhi dekh bhi liya.

Pandya mein seeing Sonakshi from KHKT ki bitchy choti behen be one abla bechaari, and Nazar show waali achchi behen being a hellraising chantomayi is giving me whiplash. Beech mein bechaare bhaiyya-bhaabi jabaran phasein, who kinda deserve it coz honestly wtf were they thinking forcing this bloody shaadi no one wanted. 🙄🙄🙄

ANNS ka hero is wholesome bean but ouff the FL’s family (???? is it even her family? Or her sister’s sasuraal or some shit in which case, phew.) Anyway kaafi off-brand Gauri Kumari Sharma vibes mil rahe mujhe FL se toh I can’t somehow get into it yet. 😐😐😐

ZEE. Kumkum - Pragya asking fam members to help her (Abhi in jail) Rhea (the twin who hates Pragya) agrees. Kundali - Preeta has her hair perfect in jail while ML tries to fix shit. Jindri - Locking wife in room is the new way of showing love. Katti Batti - shit show from promo so no info (total biwi#1 when she should be dumping his dumb ass). Rest IDK, the plots above my head. SONY. 7 1/2 - The show has bad prod quality for some reason. Not watching. (need more space for next so see you in #5) 

Yeh poora ka poora ZEE channel hi nahi chahiye mereko. Nothing on it has appealed to me since Qubool Hai and I highly doubt anything ever will. Bleargh. 🤢🤢🤢

Yeh 7 1/2 kaunsa show hai Sony pe??????? 🤔🤔🤔

KUDCA - FL runs away from marrying Veer. He hires fake bride (turns out it is FL who was briefly reunited with her bff who is now kothewaali). COLORS. Namak - Always abusive ML (can't act) now in love with FL (can act) and his family is shitty, as usual. Pinjra - Makers pulled a Main Na Bhoolungi. SSK - archaic shit is back. Shakti - ML post plastic surgery trying to convince FL that he is ML. Fans hate new actor btw. BB - Kid topped, so going to hostel? Bawara Dil - TOXIC SHIT!!! Love, Baby J

KUDCA ka main kya hi boloon, whole thing sounds like a clusterfuck.

Namak is such a weird mindfuck of a show, beech mein kuch kaala jaadoo type bhi hain. ML nafrat se pyaar tak pohunch gaya lekin majaal ho jo uske chehre pe shikan tak aaye. Someone explain to me why that Nazar waali daayan ki character is the mom to two of the ladies (who are easily in their 30s, yet mummy looks younger......... Must be all the kaala jaadoo), but everyone calls her didi, including her daughters??? Also why do these two families live together???? Why does this show exist in general??????////

Pinjra waali shaayad na bhoolegi but I sure forgot this show exists. Thank god for my brain just filtering out the info it doesn’t want and being like sorry 404, page not found. Saves me a lot of rage.

SSK mein I just need to know what new species Simar (or choti Simar, or whoever) is gonna metamorphize  into. May I suggest a cow, since that’s the only animal that gets any respect and protection in this country these days.

The way I gaspeddddddddddddddd when I saw OG Anurag Basu backkkkkkkkkk??????// Bhai is on what virgin-blood-drinking regimen ki he still looks exact same???? Sir pls to share sekrits.

Bawara Dil - First I’m ever hearing of this show, and thus, I really dgaf.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

comet, moon, pluto, aquila, protostar

Thank You vm

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?

lmaooo oh you know at any given time i’m weaving this rich tapestry of continual frustrations lol.....i’d say i’m in an Upswing Period of [simmering frustration levels closer to the surface] lately too lol like earlier in the week i pushed through a day or two there more casually but then it was like ah jeez here comes the malaise. more specifically today, even just before sitting down to answer this, i emerged from the bathroom to find there was a “dog has pooped inside despite having been outside within the last 10 min” shituation, which was wonderful.....annoyed from Waking by “smh at not being able to adjust my nocturnality, still frustrated about the near success of last friday being thwarted by the dead of night hammering debacle,” & regular Antagonizing Audio issues, aka being stressed by both the [loud, alarming] type sound & the [gross textural misophonia hell] type.....earlier i was like “where is the dish sponge” (still don’t know) & went to get a new, packaged one which had been in a drawer, but that one was gone too, good that there’s no pressing need to wash dishes rn i guess.....still struggling with the “well i guess i’m trying to put myself out there Socially” attempt to find relevant public discords, being generally overwhelmed as actually talking to randos in a group is A Lot & in theory it’s like well you meet someone Specific you’d enjoy talking to & branch off from there but unfortunately you can’t just skip to that step, also i do not genuinely Expect to get to that step either way, also i am not easily finding servers in the 1st place b/c it’s like, well i talk about Interests but what am i interested in? who knows. don’t do art “seriously” enough to rly wanna discuss it much, thought abt Language Learning but one i found wants you to have a verified account lmao like, no thanks. in theory i enjoy Socializing some but in practice it is sure a trial & i have not said anything to anyone anywhere yet, just a “well, not sure what else i could do here situation,” in theory take up an In Person hobby / group to make it all easier but that’s not happening. which, i was also Frustrated remembering oh right i spent a year as measured by my personal age in 1 location, both Pandemic & other [society] problems, & speaking of Interests & Hobbies not having them, i was also >:| over something having kicked in my Math Sensibilities (aka that i like math) & wondering like, would i have enjoyed getting more into math / some particular application, who knows, same but also even more so re: other things i get the sense i’m quite Into, like learning languages & ~performing arts~, which, i at least took math / math related classes into college level courses, which is not true for those other things (took a Language Class: never, took a theatre / drama class: for 1/4 of the schoolyear in 7th grade, & prior to that, just did a scene or two of a play in english class 4th grade, & the approx decade extracurricular of ballet, which is related but of course a different thing. anyhow, annoyed that i Simply Do Not Know & hardly see opportunities to find out on the horizon, although who knows.....which is related to being frustrated about [Society] some more like, thinking about “boy how different would it be if people were guaranteed the right to Essentials For Life like housing, food, medical care, both electricity & the internet Now A Days...” like, agonizing What If there, it is all so unnecessary that It Is Like This......just now someone made an unnecessary Post lmfao thank you xkit.......oh right, i was Frustrated, with an emphasis In Aro / Ace, about Media & Life, what else is new & then, you know, musings on The Theoretical Future & One’s Personal Past that would become even more of a like, audioscape: therapy session topic, these are frustrating things. and all of this answer has been stuff i remember getting Frustrated about in the past 24 hours. Also!!! that last night i was like, i want to play scrabble, so i looked up an online game but the Computer settings are a nightmare like, as far as i could tell the Difficulty settings were mostly attuned to Average Word Length but it was like, yeah you’re playing against this opponent given this effective total familiarity with the most obscure / archaic shit in the scrabble dictionary, not even simply the like, q words / two letter words ppl might happen to know specifically for the purposes of scrabble. there was also no “new game” button?? just had to refresh the page? smh. oh lmfao! also! you Know i was frustrated thinking about Billions, the series / interest that antagonizes you, jokes on you when you hone in on the Quant where it’s like, is he just meant to be the guy who sucks, plus he’s got depression....suppose they do at least handle him w/some sympathy / nonzero Care for this Char acter, but smh at sighing about [bracing yourself for anything promising (cough riawin) to spiral into disaster one way or another, whether it turns into a joke or plot device or just something introduced / built up / demolished for ambient drama/conflict].....what else is new. the periodic cycles of Billions Thoughts lol. was just frustrated at a video’s Editing Cadence basically lmfao. i also find it grating when the word “the jab” is used in tweets re: vaccination, which i just saw, presumably in the same sort of way where i automatically dislike the phrase To Be Fair or referring to food/eating with “fill / filling” or any variants lmfao, or earnest use of the description “hearty”......some words i hate the sound of no matter what, some i hate to hear used in a particular phrase / context......need to simply stop doing things in the middle of answering this b/c it will inevitably involve Frustrations lmfaooo. oh also i was annoyed to wake up to a clear sky. where’s that overcast atmosphere

Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

i am not, but i’ve been considering it! just inconvenient b/c a) i gotta like, choose what book/s to read, & b) i have to read via laptop, which is kind of a pain, & c) like with everything, i always tend to basically read stuff all at once, but i’m also a slow reader lmao, so it’s like, okay, i’m probably basically devoting days on end to Reading Through whatever.....

Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?

another classic Fascinating Answer of “i dunno” lol, i’ve never really had a go to answer for this or anything that’s particularly leapt out.....plus re: how i tend to feel nervous with on the spot socializing, the concept of like “if you could have dinner with someone” is too much lmfao like, a waste of time, i’d simply Be Nervous my way completely through it. the only way i could think of things is like, here i go giving someone an interview, i guess, and whomst tf would i feel Prepared to talk to lmfao. relevant to interests it’s like well of course you could ask w. roland things the in depth secret jared questions, or Any questions about quant n billions, but then it’s also like, well, there’s the questions I already have an answer for lol & either you have the same answer or i have a mini monologue, not like i don’t speak in mini monologues all the time if i have something to say at all, and my Questions go like that too lmfao, a disaster already trying to ask people about pertinent Information......never able to think of things re: people who have died, i suppose there’s fun answers re: like, getting lost / unknown Historical Info......when it comes to meeting people i don’t really consider it much in advance b/c i am nervous about everything & aware that any interacting is a Challenge lmfao. whenever these things actually happen, it’s hardly always a disaster, but i’m just improvising in the end. also, i could meet people i actually know but have never met, i.e. you, who i talk to but we are Virtual & Pandemic’d & etc & so on. but i suppose that’s kind of a given lol

Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?

i think movies are less Involved for me, like, even if it takes me 3x their runtime (or longer) to watch any videos thanks to getting distracted & stuff, still quicker than i read a book, & unless i’m watching something for the first time and/or really wanting to properly pay attention, i can do other things while putting a movie on, whereas if i’m reading that’s the One Thing i can be doing. but overall i’m like “media, what media” whichever format lol like. haven’t consumed things, don’t often think of specific works i want/plan to consume, don’t often get around to it, etc. classique.....

Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.

speaking of classic, me struggling to recall 101 info about myself or answer not that out there Questions, but when it’s like “alright hater what are you disgruntled about now” it’s like, Deep Inhale lmfao, but [are you okay? Is Anyone].jpeg on that one as well, we are out here......uh i’m sure i’ve said it before but i’m around 5′11″? maybe 6 ft tall but that might be overdoing it. sort of Average Tall but i am always literally looking down on people lmao.....and bumping my head into a low hanging light fixture around here.....

[jyndor]

paul krugman and the art of doubling down on shitty takes

so on september 11th, famed nyt editorial writer, keynesian economist and fave of your racist liberal uncle, paul krugman, wrote one of the shittiest takes I have ever seen on twitter, which is SAYING SOMETHING.

krugman famously tweeted this:

and got a million virtual shoes thrown at him for being so ignorant, because anti-muslim hate crimes did actually escalate after 9/11, and the bush administration eagerly fanned the flames of islamophobia in order to make their illegal wars in afghanistan and iraq popular with the public. muslims, sikhs, indians, literally anyone vaguely brown, and lots of black ppl too, were terrorized by their neighbors, (former) friends, classmates, coworkers, etc. and anyone with a muslim friend knows this happened because they've told us about it. and these attacks were reported on. they were, I remember reading about them when I was a kid.

(paul krugman works for the new york fucking times, and while I think the nyt is warmongering centrist garbage, they do actually report on things that happen in the world. he writes editorials for them, surely he reads the damn paper once in a while).

so today, I log on to twitter and see he has decided not to apologize, but rather do the ol' double down, which always works out well.

here are some highlights:

okay so first thing's first, no apology (obviously) since this is a double down. but we got a chart, and liberals do love a good chart when they are being racist and ahistorical.

he admits that the chart is actually inaccurate because it excludes all the other victims of anti-muslim hate crimes who weren't actually muslim (read: the innocents). okay. so already he is losing credibility because he is using an inaccurate chart as the basis of his double down, and really, we love to see it.

after this there's some shit about how he didn't say there wasn't an outbreak of white americans attacking muslims and people mistaken for muslims, but rather that it could have been worse. lol well anything can be worse than it was, as 2020 has taught us. it’s a pedantic mess and I didn’t feel like that was the meat of the double down.

so first off, the iraq war was definitely started for many reasons, but islamophobia was part of it. the bush administration wanted to invade iraq and depose saddam hussein, and steal iraq’s oil for multinational oil companies lbr, and so they exploited americans’ fears about muslims by propagandizing about how it was important for us to attack them over there before they attacked us over here with their weapons of mass destruction, and of course they would attack us over here if given the chance. why? because they hate our way of life here, our freedom. those things were LITERALLY said by bush people and also by their stans at fox news and the wsj, and yes, in the editorial pages at the nyt.

so to someone like paul krugman, who knows lots of conservatives who don’t seem racist, or are educated and distinguished and just... like war? idk but to him, he sees people like them and says, well... they’re not like uneducated filthy poors in west virginia, not that kind of racist.

but what he doesn’t get, or he is being deliberately obtuse about, is that in order for the bush people to dehumanize muslims the way they did, they had to personally place less value on the lives of iraqis than on the value of that sweet crude oil. they were willing to go to war, sacrifice hundreds of thousands of civilians in the process (as well as thousands of american soldiers, but this isn’t about them) because they didn’t see them as anything but collateral damage. and that is fucking racist.

and while I have no interest in playing the “which racist is worse” game, when the west virginia uneducated racist endangers those around them, the politician rich harvard educated racist writes policy and lies us into illegal wars that endanger millions. both are bad, both are racist.

and by the way, him “sticking his neck out” to speak up against going to iraq was brave and necessary, especially because the nyt was pushing the invasion. but when you put it like that... you just sound like a tool. like it was a burden to call out the liars and imperialists. bitch, you’re paul krugman, a nobel laureate and renowned economist. I do not want to discount the IMMENSE pressure and blacklisting that opponents of the bush administration experienced, because showing any opposition to the wars at the time was risky. but idk the way he put that just irked me, especially since he didn’t even lose his job like many in the media did when they spoke up.

usually what liberals do when they fuck up publically is a fake ass apology and a few hail marys, and I assumed he would be on twitter begging for forgiveness on this one since his garbage take went so viral and pissed off so many people. and of course was wrong.

but then he does this:

yeah. your eyes are not deceiving you. that chart is measuring anti-black, anti-lgbtq and anti-”islamic” (lmao who says that bro just say anti-muslim or islamophobic) hate crimes. shut up leftist twitter, black people have it worse than muslims according to my inaccurate chart. so stop attacking me, a rich white man who doesn’t really care about anything other than my reputation.

there is a lot to unpack here, namely that paul krugman is using faux concern for black people as a way to deflect from his shitty ahistorical take about how much restraint white americans showed after 9/11 towards muslims. maybe krugman doesn’t know any black muslims, but they exist. also oppression olympics is stupid even when used by well meaning essentialists, let alone by milquetoast academics.

not to mention that he has already discounted his own shitty chart by saying it doesn’t show the full picture of what happened in these anti-muslim attacks. but even if we take this chart seriously, it actually does not really support his point. look at how many more hate crimes there were against muslims in 2001 than there were in 2000. there are significantly more black people than muslims in the united states. I am not good at math, and surely I am no nobel laureate, but it seems to me that hate crimes against black people increased a little, and hate crimes against muslims increased a lot. and this chart only takes into account three years, and only two of which are post-9/11. so... idk man maybe we should look at what happened in, say, 2003? 2004? how about all of the 2000s?

(source: https://www.pri.org/stories/2016-09-12/data-hate-crimes-against-muslims-increased-after-911)

oh, that is actually pretty consistently bad! yes, there was one spike in 2001/2002, but it isn’t like we went back down to pre-9/11 numbers afterwards. and I am not sure if this information includes non-muslims targeted for “looking muslim” but I would say it is unlikely, since the data seem pretty similar to krugman’s olympic shit.

I am not writing this because paul krugman is particularly shit-for-brains, or because I hate him more than like... idk any other moron on twitter. there were plenty of anti-muslim takes on twitter friday like there are every 9/11, and every day. but krugman is actually someone liberals respect. he is, after all, a nobel laureate and a keynesian economist, and fairly mild mannered. when people in the media like krugman write these ahistorical shitty takes they are, as chomsky wrote, MANUFACTURING CONSENT. it is a deliberate tactic, and it works. and if you want to learn more about this theory, check out this short clip by al jazeera narrated by amy goodman (of democracy now). the media manufactured american consent when they pushed the wars. they continue to do so when they try to rewrite george bush’s history by making trump seem uniquely terrible to muslims.

elites in the press and in government have been trying to whitewash and rehabilitate george bush’s reputation for YEARS, and they are succeeding. and why would they want to do that? well, there are a lot of reasons. one, a lot of people in washington are complicit in bush’s crimes. two, democrats think they need to appeal to moderate republicans (lol) in order to win elections, and I guess they think there are moderate republicans left (lol!), and that those moderate republicans like george bush (LOLLL). three, they want to make trump look uniquely terrible. if they do that, then no one but trump needs to be held to account for his government’s failings. but these are just my speculation.

do not let them rehabilitate george bush any further than they have. it is a fucking shame he will never be held to account for war crimes, but an extra slap in the face to all of his victims when we act like he didn’t do things he did. like stoke anti-muslim hate. he invaded muslim countries with a smile on his face, and that is pretty fucking hateful.

paul krugman doubled down and tried to use Black Lives Matter like a human fucking shield. seems a bit racist imo.

[fairycosmos]

I hate Instagram culture so much and even tho I've tried once I never used it but i feel so much pressure to do so all the time!!! And sometimes i take cute pictures and wanna share them somewhere so I kinda get tempted to use it, i never do tho. Even the thought of it kinda makes me sick but y'know how we want to feel appreciated/accepted but at the same time hide ourselves? That's the feeling. Anyway sorry to bother you, love you the most lol

bro how did u just summarize my entire adolescence in like one paragraph lmao….for real, i cant tell you how much i understand where you’re coming from. i think a lot of people experience this duality between wanting to be seen, but not wanting to engage in that sort of environment. it’s enough to drive anyone mad. honestly the app itself could have actually been pretty cute initially, just sharing cool pics of your life with your loved ones. yeah it’s performative but it didn’t have to progress into what it is now…..a total cesspool of ads, completely fabricated realities, rich people trying to get richer and mental illness inducing mindsets. it’s completely bizarre. i want to say that you can use insta healthily if you’re not too involved, if you’re careful about who you follow and who follows you, but part of me knows you’ll still be exposed to dumb shit just by being on there. it’s why i cant stay on for too long. it’s so much falsity, all the time and it’s fucking tiring. i think as teenagers/young adults, our identities are inherently tied into our online lives. we’re literally raised to seek validation from it, it’s basically second nature at this point. which is fucking weirddddd because it’s not like we’re portraying an entirely accurate image of ourselves, due to the fast paced bite sized nature of social media itself. it’s a good way to be seen without showing the parts of yourself that you want to hide. and that’s not exactly healthy, despite how easy and ideal it sounds. so point is think it’s important to remember that there are so many ways to be appreciated and known besides getting likes or curating a certain image. of course it’s natural to want to try, to want to share your creativity. and you should absolutely keep taking fun pics and showing them to ppl!  but your mental health is always more important. i think a lot of ppl my age and younger don’t realize just how much they’re compromising their own stability/sense of self by endlessly chasing a lifestyle that is designed to be unattainable….anyway i love you more!! and i hope you’re okay. i know it’s weird to be stuck between two mindsets. if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to, just let me know :)

[kyliexc]

BUENAAAASSSSSSSSSS ! soy yo , mini from da 6ix , again . coming at you with my original kid . she’s changed just a bit , but still pretty much a god damn  M E S S .  and bad bunny’s vete came on shuffle soOoOooOoooOOOOOOOOOOOOO LEGGO !

chicago’s very own Kylie Castillo has been spotted on madison avenue driving a BMW X5 , welcome ! your resemblance to Becky G is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty second birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re impulsive , but being loyal might help you . i think being a Aries explains that .  3 things that would paint  a  better picture of you would be a bottle of patron, late night partying and 20grams of weed . 

hit the mfng like button for plots bc I WILL mssge u or else

BASICS ! 

Full Name: kylie valentina castillo

Nickname(s): ky, kyky, k, kybby

Age: 22

Height: 5 ft

Date of Birth: April 15th 1997

Zodiac sign: aries

Hogwarts house: slythindor (slytherin + gryffindor)

Ethnicity: mexican

Nationality: american

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation: bisexual

Religion: agnostic-catholic

Tattoos: a peach on her ass, #2 tramp stamp and canon becky g tattoos

Language(s) Spoken: english + spanish

Accent: american with a hint of spanish

BACK STORY ! 

kylie castillo is the third born child from alejandro and lupe castillo ! alejandro was a renowned soccer player from jalisco, mexico . he played for the mexican national team AND for Barcelona FC . lupe castillo is also from jalisco , mexico , but she attended school in spain where she began as a seamstress for a small vintage boutique before going off on her own to start her own exclusive brand that made it big - as in , only those who could really afford the clothing could wear it . lupe is owner to ROSARIO . lupe and alejandro met in spain , but ultimately moved to chicago to settle down with their kids since kylie’s paternal grandparents lived there.

Kylie was born in Chicago , Illinois , but throughout her childhood , she bounced between Chicago, Los Angeles , and Barcelona ! 

kylie took after her dad , immediately falling in love with soccer since she was little . it wasn’t like the castillos pushed her into it , she found the sport herself . kylie , along with her siblings were a sports family in general . most of her siblings got into some sport growing up , whether they took it seriously or not was up to them , but kylie definitely did. 

kylie and her dad are really close for the fact that he basically coached her throughout her entire athletic career . kylie is very competitive because of this , and super into keeping herself fit . she sees a goal , she wants it , and she’ll do anything to get it . her jersey is #3 !

besides soccer , she really loves to sing and it came out of nowhere but it was due to all the family parties she has . often an acoustic guitar would be brought out and everyone , including kylie would be singing along to vincente fernandez - heck , you know the castillos hired a mariachi band to be part of these gatherings . 

ky spent a lot of time with her grandparents who would ALWAYS be blasting old mariachi / love songs , singing at the top of their lungs to each other , and from this kylie enjoyed what music did for her . performing was just another thing that came easy to her . the stage , whether it be an actual stage or just a small little space where she was surrounded by family , it was home to her , and she was never afraid . the one place where she could vocally express herself is through her lyrics . ky and her cousins often would write down song lyrics , pretend to perform for thousands of people - but it wasn’t something she ever thought she’d do . it was just for fun , and she took up extra curriculars besides soccer that related to it . i . e dance , acting , etc. 

yet , that was something else , her eyes were on the prize , and that was soccer . sort of . 

kylie had everything set for her to continue playing soccer after high school , to eventually make it onto the US Women’s Soccer team - yet she deadass started to slowly give it all up at the beginning of her 4th year of high school , hanging with the stoner kids , practicing less , putting less effort. she eventually found the underground rap scene -  she loved soccer , but it was time for something else , especially when her dad was mad at her , the field didn’t feel like home like the stage did .

on soundcloud , and youtube , kylie lent her vocals to some guys she met , being on their tracks . her sound was unique because she sang and rapped in both spanish and english . she was earning a name online , her followers going up and tbh , she wasn’t trying but it came to her and when she saw the numbers rise , and her name get out there a bit . she rlly started working on that part of her life . 

A MESS ?! * TW : abortion , drugs , etc .

in high school , she met giovanni ho ho hoe narciso . they were friends for a long time until finally , they started dating . definitely one of the reasons, but not the main reason why she also didn’t care about the sport as much - but kylie’s dad blamed gio a lot fo kylie not playing soccer . so her dad didn’t like gio , and to make matters worse , he didn’t like gio’s dad . so it was a HOT MESS . kylie ultimately had to choose between her family and gio , and when she said yes to marrying gio , she chose gio .  

18 years old and she ran off to marry gio - except that didn’t happen . 

she woke up one morning , he was gone and she couldn’t get a hold of him anymore . ky really didn’t have a choice besides going back to her family , and BET her dad was all ‘i told you so’ 

she couldn’t contact gio but YOU BET she ended up finding him eventually to get in the lasdt mfng word but that conversation ended up with her just being hurt , and it was the last time she really saw gio . he moved on , whether she believed it or not , he did .

so fast forward not long after that meeting . kylie found out she’s pregnant . obviously , it was gio’s . and she had two choices , keep it or get rid of it . 

without telling anyone , except her best friend , kylie got an abortion . which , no one knows , not even her family , not even gio .

SECRET ! 

        ***again , not many people know this ? but the                  one above is a secret too ?? she’s just full of          secrets. JKFDHDFKG

from 20 - 21 , kylie moved out , hopping from place to place within chicago . but she definitely went off grid . not caring for social media , not contacting her parents . 

kylie went into a strip club and at first it was for jokes , but when she got on the pole - she was actually good ?? JDKHGDKFJHDFKJH so the manager offered her a job and well , bitch took it . so she did that for a year , hanging with the wrong crowd, drinking every day , smoking weed which is a staple for her , but she started to do blow - which is .. not a staple for her . it was a dangerous year for kylie .

but doing blow , and selling it for awhile while working the pole gave her the connections she needed to meet rich guys with status in the music industry. 

so eventually , her EP made it in the hands of a producer for sony music latin . 

so she left the pole and started being featured with big time Latin names 

think cardi b’s start up and yeah , she definitely drugged men and stole from them while doing this too DKJGFHDKFJ

PERSONALITY + CURRENT SITUATION !

kylie’s back bitches ! as in people already knew her but she’s been M.I.A for a year , so she’s back and ppl are like wtf KDJGHDKFJGHSFKDJ and she lives in New York now

currently she’s working on her first album release.

besides the mess , she’s a GOD DAMN GOOD TIME. if you ever need to get drunk and party. kylie is your girl . if you need to get fucked up, you better have her on speed dial.

kylie’s the bitch with the bottle of patron , serving tequila shots , and then dancing on top of tables.

highkey always ready for a fight . she doesn’t care where she is , she will always SWING. don’t play games thinking she’s gonna back down from a fight bc she won’t. if u want a fight , ky will give u one KJDHGKSFJDHGKSDJGH talk shit get hit is her motto and i hate her for it

she has a black cat named mijo

her friends and family are the loves of her life . literally , if you mean something to her , there’s nothing she won’t do for you . she will ADORE YOU

if ur her enemy .... that’s fun too. :)

confident AF

she’s an all around bitch i hate her , but she’s a mess , and she’s funny , and she’s too much sometimes .

too stubborn for her own good all the time bc she thinks she’s always right. 

she’s also really goofy when she wants to be

has a hell of a good work ethic , will get shit done when it needs to be done . is definitely the pushy friend to encourage others to do the same.

BEST HYPE WOMAN EVER

she loves assholes.

her lito, lita, ita, tito {grandparents} are her favourite people ever

will cuss you out in spanish and english

hella hot tempered and uhm...

YEAH THERE’S A LOT BUT YEAH I THINK I GOT IT COVERED KGJHDSKFHG

[dottie-wan-kenobi]

I loveeee all the songs u chose for Tim!!! Can u maybe do a post or smth explaining why cus it’s so interesting seeing the choice behind these songs

Hi yes I can!! I’m not gonna do all of them here (I can def do the rest if you’d like!!) bc that’s just a Lot all at once lol. Also I might have typos and I apologize but dkjsfhakh I have bandaids on my fingers and it’s hard to type :^/

Disclaimer: some of these songs fit a lot better than other ones

Hard Times by Paramore

I chose this song bc it’s abbout being sad, but the tone is upbeat and happy. Something I’ve noticed abt Tim is that he is (usually) functionally depressed. Like, I read an article about high functioning depression, and it said that a lot of people who have it have a hole in their life – that they can have a job (and Tim does, being either CEO or Red Robin or both), a partner (who I like to think of as Kon), and be part of a family, maintaining this happy/upeat facade, but if you ask them what they do for fun…they usually can’t answer that. And I don’t think Tim can. When he was younger, he could, but what now? 

Fave Lyric: “Walking around / With my little rain cloud / Hanging over my head/ And it ain’t coming down / Where do I go? / Gimme some sort of sign / You hit me with lightning! / Maybe I’ll come alive”

Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons

I chose this bc I can picture Tim, during a low moment like when Kon or Bruce died, just falling apart and thinking he’s not going to survive it, isn’t strong enough, had something to do with their deaths happening,,, etc. Also there’s a line that references anxiety and like lmao that’s Tim!

Fave Lyric: “Tremble for yourself, my man, / You know that you have seen this all before / Tremble, little lion man, / You’ll never settle any of your scores / Your grace is wasted in your face, / Your boldness stands alone among the wreck / Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck”

Heroes (we could be) by Alesso feat. Tove Lo

I chose this bc Tim needed a happy song and also because this has such Young Justice vibes !!!! This is Tim and his friends having fun, roaming around, kicking bad guy ass together!! Actually upon looking at the lyrics again, it’s both YJ and Batman & Robin. It just encompasses Tim’s early days of being a hero I think, the happy carefree nature and the bravery and the hope

Fave Lyric: “Everyday people do everyday things but I / Can’t be one of them / I know you hear me now, we are a different kind / We can do anything”

Burn The House Down by AJR

Tbh I mostly chose this bc its a bop and I think he would sing along to it. BUT I also think this kind of represents his life as a public figure/celeb??? And if I wanna go even further, I think it could represent him when he’s older and more confident, with a better self esteem and maybe a lil less depressed (which I hope is in the cards for his future). Also it talks about lying a lot???? I’m sorry, I don’t have a good analysis for this one lmao

Fave Lyric: “Way up way up we go / Been up and down that road / Way up way up, oh no / We gon’ burn the whole house down / Watch me stand in the line / You’re only serving lies / You’ve got something to hide / We gon’ burn the whole house down”

Don’t Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers feat. Daya

I chose this bc it reminded me of Tim and Dick. I’m of the opinion that Tim getting fired from Robin was the right choice and that Dick wasn’t being cruel or anything like that at all, but I also think that Tim probably saw it that way which is valid. So it’s like, to him, Dick was his big brother who was basically always there for him, and then suddenly… he’s not. And everything else going on in his life starts to suck dramatically, and not having his big brother makes it worse, and he feels betrayed. Meanwhile Dick really is on his side, life is just also terrible for him too so they can’t be as close as they were when Tim was Robin. It can also be about Bruce or Kon tbh – just, wanting one of them to be there and they’re not.

Fave Lyric: “Crashing, hit a wall / Right now I need a miracle / Hurry up now, I need a miracle / Stranded, reaching out / I call your name but you’re not around”

More under the cut!!

Don’t Play by Halsey

This…. I chose this bc I really love the celebrity versions of the Bats, and also how competent Tim can be, and this song brings both of those together. Lol this could also be like…what other people think the Bats/Tim think like?? “Don’t play with me, I’m rich and will fuck you up” kinda thing. This is one of the ones that fits less well than the others but I still get Tim vibes from it so I’m keeping it

Fave Lyric: “Tryna take back what you say to me / I don’t give a damn what you say to me / There ain’t no time for games with me”

Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray

I get the feeling that after bad shit happens to Tim, he feels the way this song shows. I haven’t read much YJ so I can’t be sure, but I get the feeling that Tim, no matter what the truth is, feels like he’s alone and there’s no one who will help him. Obviously that can be tied back to his childhood and how he had to take care of himself, and so when there are people who actually do wanna help him he doesn’t see it?? And he’s down on himself so he’s probably thinking “they don’t want to help me, and I can’t blame them”

Fave Lyric: “But that’s how it’s got to be / It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy / I’d rather run the other way than stay and see / The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears” 

Icarus by Bastille

Okay not so much the drinking aspect of this song but EVERYTHING ELSE. I even used one of the lyrics for a fic title. Basically my thoughts here are: 1) everyone looks to the Robins and sees how much they do and it’s just A Lot, 2) Tim knows Jason died and so he probably thinks that’s in his future too even if Dick survived, and 3) Tim is doing a lot and feeling a lot and trying to protect himself and his feelings, which is hard work especially for someone so young

Fave Lyric: “Living beyond your years / Acting out all their fears / You feel it in your chest”

Needed Me by Rihanna

Again,,,, the Competence. I love that shit. I love BAMF!Bats, and tbh I think this could apply to more than just Tim, but I picked it for him bc of the first lyric!! This is also one of those ones that doesn’t fit super well but djkhfjkdshah I think this could really fit an AU Tim where he’s like. More morally gray. Not necessarily a bad guy but just more confident, more arrogant maybe, and more jaded from the hero-ing life

Fave Lyric: “I was good on my own, that’s the way it was, that’s the way it was / You was good on the low for a faded fuck, on some faded love / Shit, what the fuck you complaining for? / Feeling jaded, huh?”

What I’ve Done by Linkin Park

Okay I think this fits a lot of different things: his actions after Kon’s death, his and Damian’s relationship, the lies he’s told (to ppl like Steph, his dad, Tam?), his relationship with Bruce maybe?? I can also see it as him thinking on who he was as a kid – a stalker basically lmao, but ultimately harmless – versus who he is now – a skilled vigilante who’s definitely not harmless. Stark difference there. Also he’s forgiving himself, which is something I think is important for somebody with a low self view

Fave Lyric: “In this farewell / There’s no blood / There’s no alibi / ‘Cause I’ve drawn regret / From the truth / Of a thousand lies”

Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato

I chose this because I think Tim is fucked up by the neglect he suffered in his childhood. I think parts of this song can be directed at his parents, the Batfam, his partner(s). He’s afraid that they’ll leave him and he needs the reassurance. Whether or not he gets it is another matter but kdsjfjkdsah. Really, I think this is all just what he’s thinking, and NOT what he’s saying. He needs the reassurance, yes, but he’s not actually asking for it because he doesn’t know how

Fave Lyric: “Bad at love, no, I’m not good at this”

bellyache by Billie Eilish

When I first added this to his playlist I somehow didn’t realize it was about a murderer but dkjfhkjshjkah whatever I’m keeping it. Let’s just go with this is a song about being fucked up (in whatever sense u wanna take that as) and it’s not happy? But like the first one, it’s upbeat and positive. I think the happy sound hiding the less pretty truth is something that explains Tim a lot. Also its a bop and he might sing along to it

Fave Lyric: “Everything I do / The way I wear my noose / Like a necklace / I wanna make ‘em scared / Like I could be anywhere / Like I’m reckless”

Migraine by Twenty One Pilots

Just Another Song About Tim’s Abysmal Mental Health

Fave Lyric: “Behind my eyelids are islands of violence / My mind ship-wrecked / This is the only land my mind could find / I did not know it was such a violent island / Full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions / They’re trying to eat me, blood running down their chin / And I know that I can fight or I can let the lion win / I begin to assemble what weapons I can find / 'Cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind”

Fake Love by Drake

I hate Drake but kjdsfkjdsfhajh this goes back to a few things. His celebrity and how he’s seen/treated differently by others because of it, his low self view and the paranoia that people aren’t really there for him no matter what the truth might be, how he sees things others wouldn’t, his relationships with people like Damian and Bruce. I think he’s more forgiving than this song would imply, so maybe this is also for that AU Tim I mentioned above???

Fave Lyric: “I’ve been down so long it look like up to me / They look up to me / I got fake people showin’ fake love to me / Straight up to my face, straight up to my face”

Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish

TIMKON TIMKON TIMKON. Post Kon’s death TimKon and Tim is grieving and trying to forget bc it’s so painful!!!!!!

Fave Lyric: “Our love is six feet under / I can’t help but wonder / If our grave was watered by the rain / Would roses bloom? / Could roses bloom / Again?”

Flaws by Bastille

Idek, I feel like this could be how he could view his relationship with Steph, Cass, Damian, Bart, Dick??? Anyone? Just feeling like he hides his flaws and how he feels, and they don’t really (or at least, he thinks they don’t), and he likes that.

Fave Lyric: “There’s a hole in my soul / I can’t fill it, I can’t fill it / There’s a hole in my soul / Can you fill it? Can you fill it?”

do re mi by blackbear

I’m mostly joking when I say this but this is how he feels about Ra’s al Ghul. It doesn’t fit exactly, bc Tim and Ra’s were NOT together ever at any point, but this song is about being annoyed by someone you have a history with and wishing you’d never known them. Which is how I feel Tim should feel about Ra’s. lol

Fave Lyric: “If I could go back to that day we met / I probably would’ve stayed in bed / You wake up everyday and make me feel like I’m incompetent”

Bored by Billie Eilish

I really think this is Tim talking to his parents. Like, when he’s a kid, or when he’s older and looking back, he’s thinking “I did everything I could, it wasn’t enough, and I know it’s not fair but I can’t do anything about it.” I think this song is supposed to be romantic but I’ve never heard it that way skdjfkjsdhakjh I just always think about Tim, home alone and thinking about his parents.

Fave Lyric: “I’m not afraid anymore / What makes you sure you’re all I need? / Forget about it / When you walk out the door and leave me torn / You’re teaching me to live without it / Bored, I’m so bored, I’m so bored, so bored”

Rose-Colored Boy by Paramore

This one is like… everyone else seems to have an easier time being optimistic and positive than Tim does, in his mind. Idk I don’t have much to say kdsjfhsdjkah

Fave Lyric: “Hearts are breaking, wars are raging on / And I have taken my glasses off / You got me nervous / I’m right at the end of my rope / A half-empty girl / Don’t make me laugh, I’ll choke”

King of the Clouds by Panic! At The Disco

This is mostly because it’s a bop and Tim would like it. But also…this is a song about dimensional travel (apparently) and having ambitions that seem lofty, both of which I think Tim can definitely understand!! 

Fave Lyric: “And when I fall to rise with stardust in my eyes / In the backbone of night, I’m combustible / Dust in the fire when I can’t sleep a wink, I’m too tired / This old world, this old world”