#my knees are shit
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they should invent eyes that can actually focus at the end of the day
#i can literally feel myself aging and im only twenty fucking four lmao#kinda hate this like yeah i might have to get a eyeglass prescription by the time im 30#my knees are shit#my eyes are starting to go to shit#my hands are on the knife's edge of going to shit (ty ergo keyboards for saving them lol)#my hair is already graying way faster than it should going off of genetics#but yeah i guess thats just what happens when the first 20 years of your life are made 100% of stress and trauma#im living now and i guess thats the important part
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I love seeing characters make the wrong choice. Like logically, morally, whatever. It should be so easy, so obvious, to do something right for once! But they don’t see it or they don’t care. Their instincts always lead them to choose poorly. Bad for them but great for me because it’s so interesting and I like to watch the suffering. ^_^
#going ‘you absolute fucking donkey’ to my faves but while holding them in my arms anyway#it’s about the knee-jerk reactions of ego and revenge outweighing their self-proclaimed values of rationality and intelligence#I’m chewing that shit like bubblegum
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RIP Annabeth, I just know Percy sacrificing himself for you, after knowing you for a week, after telling you that you’ve done more for him this week than his father ever has, is permanently altering the brain chemistry of your avoidant attachment self
#epitome of the quote: there is something really healing about being loved#which is from a book I CANT REMEMBER SO I CANT LOOK IT UP PROPERLY#let me know if you guys know what I’m talking about#i just know Percy’s actions had her on her knees#what is this? unconditional love?#is this why people make friends?#i am lovable?#this is amazing#oh shit my new friend is about to die#I’m so normal about them (I’m lying)#pjo#pjo spoilers#pjo tv show spoilers#pjo series#pjo tv show#percy jackson#annabeth chase#Percy and Annabeth#mine
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Your "non-confrontational" choices not to communicate hurt the people you don't confront btw. You're not a martyr for keeping everything inside and then running away when other people don't know what's going on with you. You just decided avoiding rejection and sparing your own feelings was easier than being honest and giving them the agency to respond and make their own decisions. You chose to hurt them so they didn't hurt you. You think your feelings are realer and more important than their own care and love for you. You were always just waiting for a sign to run.
"If they cared about me they would have–" did you tell them that? Did you let them know how you feel? How much importance you place on those requirements they don't know they have to meet? This secret criteria and secret signs for your secret feelings? Or are you making them play a game they don't know even exists?
Your choice not to communicate isn't cute. You didn't run because they didn't feel the same for you. You ran so you wouldn't have to risk rejection. You chose to prioritise your own self-protection over their trust in and love for you. At least own that.
#vent post#i'm having enough of non-confrontational people in my life atm#im tired of paying the price for their emotional cowardice#i'm too neurodivergent for this shit#either spell it out or fuck off#nice to know how much all my love and care and loyalty is worth#personal#knee of huss#relationships#toxic relationship
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People call him happy feet
But listen
How does a middle-aged man move his legs like that?? I mean, his knees are something else.
New addition:
#i love this oldman here#so hobbitcoded#but no really#my knees could never#and he makes it look so simple#so easy#hes not even sweating#he was quite the dancer in his youth#dungeon meshi#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#my shit
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Joseph Quinn for British GQ photographed by Grace Difford
#joseph quinn#jquinnedit#josephquinnedit#stcastedit#mancandykings#dailymenedit#mensource#dilfsource#dailymalestarsedit#flawlessgentlemen#usersavana#tuserbritt#userisamy#usereri#userspree#useraurore#joesquinns#usertiny#useremz#icallhimjoey#userallisyn#holy shit i'm literally on my fucking knees#suddenly i forgot how to breathe#jfvgvjfdjgkhd ahhhh
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THIS SUNOO PIC OH MY GOD???!?!?!?
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I don't remember this but HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIITT LLOYD WAS CONFIRMED TO BE AT LEAST 9 YEARS OLD HERE AND HE WAS ABLE TO DO THAT??? JESUS FUCK
#This might be proof that lloyd is quite jacked#i mean lloyd literally cracked the entire floor split open under ONE fucking FIST#and in dragons rising lloyd literally blocked the empress' sword on her big mech with his tiny ass gold sword#and lloyd also literally lifted and threw kai across the ship in dragons rising too..#and in the magazine comics (not entirely canon sadly) lloyd threw a big ass enormous fucking vengestone mech in his oni form with his HANDS#ANNNNDDD lloyd can even handle the power of the source dragon in dragons rising..#ANNNNNDD the original ending for crystallised was gonna be about lloyd lost in his oni form and beating the overlords ass and rule ninjago..#in which apparently the ninja save him from the power of FRIENDSHIP#lloyd literally fell on piles of glass and wasn't bothered by it#HE WAS 9 AND HE FELL ON PILES OF GLASS WITH NO HESITATION!?!?!#fucking OUCH#and yet wu says lloyd is “the wise one” fuck that shit he should become a GOD#lloyd literally risked to sacrifice his life to the three dragon cores in dragons rising like holy fucking shit I'd marry him#if lloyd was a villain I'd fucking root for him so hard I'd be on my knees they should make it happen PLEASE PLES PLEASEE#sorry i love lloyd hes my wife#ninjago#ninjago fandom#lloyd garmadon#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lloyd garmadon ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd ninjago#ninjago lloyd garmadon
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“Don’t watch Thirteen’s era” they said, “it’s no good,” they said. I just watched Demons of the Punjab, I’m driving to your house with a baseball bat
#i will never emotionally recover#when i say it floored me i mean i was LITERALLY on the floor on that#I WAS ON MY KNEES#HOLY SHIT#demons of the punjab#series 11#dw#doctor who#the thirteenth doctor#thirteenth doctor
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(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
#i give up#im knee deep in this shit now#theres no coming back#vashwood#TRIGUN#TRIGUN STAMPEDE#vash the stampede#VASH#nicholas d wolfwood#WOLFWOOD#my art#sketch
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Whumper pressing a knee into Whumpee’s back, pinning them to the ground with their own weight. A gloved hand yanking at a fistful of hair. A knife angled against Whumpee’s throat, Whumper’s voice whispering a warning or a threat into their ear.
#Whumpee’s eyes shut tight in pain or fear#their hands tied behind their back and pinned beneath Whumper’s knee#Caretaker shouting threats or pleas when Whumper presses the knife against Whumpee’s skin#whatever this aesthetic is#it’s my favorite#shit’s so gas okay#whump
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utena and chuchu doodle i forgot to post the other day <3
#art#my post#my art#rgu#revolutionary girl utena#utena tenjou#chuchu#i get a kick out of drawing her like a teen. i feel like it makes all the shit she went through hit harder#like daaaamn thats a kid#and her scraped knees <3
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#us politics#dick Cheney#white liberals#shit liberals say#liberals touch this post and I will kill you with my bare hands#or any of my posts#warmongering#knee of huss#Iraq war#war criminals#us imperialism
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really hes an icon
#saiki k#saiki k fanart#art tag#physically disabled#disabled artist#im just getting progressively more disabled irl so u kno what that means *looks intensely at the disabled anime boy*#if u think about it his powers (which do physically disable him. tbc.) getting progressively more intense while he has to get more and more#aids to deal with them and live a normal life#Is a lot like my relationship with My Legs#if u think about it#also hes wearing wrist and knee braces bc he is hypermobile#this is also canon he can dislocate all of his joints and also do some wild shit w his bones
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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max maxine maximus
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#love you maxine#always knees deep in some shit#you can tell that some days drawing is tough and some days it's very easy#it's ok#life is strange#lis#life is strange double exposure#lis de#max caulfield#sketches#csp#my art#fanart#lis max#life is strange fanart#game fanart
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