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#my immune system is weak right now
andy-clutterbuck · 2 years
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Entertainment Weekly | 2017
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feralnumberfive · 1 year
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Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery
Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3
tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood
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Bisuke: Gai's Back!
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Gai: GRAAH!
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Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,
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Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?
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Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.
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Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then
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Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!
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Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry
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Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.
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Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.
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Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners
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Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it
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Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...
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Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.
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Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"
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Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]
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Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?
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Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken
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Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that
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felikatze · 10 months
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ISAT and Ludonarrative Harmony: Combat is a Storytelling Tool
Or: How Siffrin is stuck in the endgame grind, forever
Please Note: This is primarily aimed at an audience that already played In Stars and Time, because I am bad at explaining things, and it's good to already know what the fuck I'm talking about. I tend to only bring up game elements as I want to talk about them.
Spoilers for.... all of ISAT! Especially Act 5!
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(image to show how i feel posting this and as an attention grabber over my wall of text)
To pull a definition of ludonarrative harmony out of a hat, game writer Lauryn Ash defines it as follows:
Ludonarrative harmony is when gameplay and story work together to create a meaningful and immersive experience. From a design implementation perspective, it is the synchronized interactions between in-game actions (mechanics) and in-world context (story).
It is, generally speaking, how well game mechanics work hand in hand with the story. I, personally, think ISAT is an absolute masterclass of it, so I want to take a look at how ISAT specifically uses its battle system to emphasize Siffrin's character arc and create organic story moments. I want you to keep this in mind when I talk here.
So, skills, right? If you've played any turn-based RPG, you know your Fire spells, your "BACKSLASH! AIRSLASH! BACKSLASH!" and the many ways to style those.
Well, what does casting "Fire" say about your character? Not all that much, does it? Perhaps you'll have typical divisions. The smart one is the mage, the big brawny one is your tank, the petite one's the healer. And that's the barebones of ISAT's main party, but it's much more than that.
Every character's style of combat tells you something about them. Odile, the Researcher, is the most well-travelled and knowledgable of the bunch. She's the one with the expertise to keep a cool head and analyze the enemy, yet also able to use all three of the Rock-Paper-Scissors craft types.
To reflect her analytical view of things, all her skill names are just descriptive, the closest to your most bog-standard RPG. "Slow IV" or "Paper III" serve well to describe their purpose. The high number of the skills gives the impression there were three other Slow skills beforehand - fitting, considering the party starts at level 45, about to head into the final dungeon. She's also the oldest, so she's the slowest of the bunch.
Isabea, the Fighter, has all his skills in exclamation points. "YOUR TURN!!!" "SO WEAK!!!" "SMASH!!!" they're straightforward, but excited. He's a purposefully cheerfull guy, so his skills revolve around cheering on his allies. He's absolutely pumped to be here, and you see that from his skill names alone.
Mirabelle, the Housemaiden, is an interesting case. She's by all means the true protagonist of this tale - She's the one "Chosen by the Change God," the only one who survived the King's first attack, the only one immune to his ability to freeze time, the only dual-craft type of the game - just a lot of things. And her skill names reflect that facade she puts on herself - she can do this, she can win! She has to believe it, or else she starts doubting. This is how you get "Jolly Round Rondo" and "Mega Sparkle Heal" or "Adorable Moving Cure." She's styled every bit a sailor scout shojo heroine, and her moveset replicates the naming conventions of "In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!"
Even Bonnie, the Kid, who can't be controlled in combat, has named craft skills. And they very much reflect that Bonnie is, well, a kid. "Wolf Speed Technique" or "Thousand Blows Technique" are very much the phrasings of a child who learned one complicated word and now wants to use it in everything to seem cooler than they are, which is none, because they're twelve.
Siffrin's skills are all puns.
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You have an IMMEDIATE feel for personality here. Between "Knife to Meet You!" and "Too Cleaver by Half," you know Siffrin's the type to always crack a joke no matter the situation, slinging witticisms around to put Sonic the Hedgehog to shame. It's just such a clever way to establish character using a game mechanic as old as the entire history of RPGs.
This is only the baseline of the way the combat system feeds into the story, though.
The timeloop, of course, feeds into it. Siffrin is the only character who retains experience upon looping, whereas all other characters are reset to their base level and skills. And it sucks (affectionate).
You're extremely likely to battle more often the earlier in the game you are - after all, you need the experience (for now.) Every party member contributes, and Siffrin isn't all that strong on their own, since they focus on raw scissor type damage with the addition of one speed buff. (Of course it's a speed buff. They're a speedy fucker. Just look at him).
At first, the difference in level between Siffrin and the rest of the group is rather negligible. Just a level or two. Just a bit more speed and attack. And then Siffrin grows further and further apart. Siffrin keeps learning new skills. He gets a healing skill that doubles as an attack boost, taking away from both Mirabelle's and Isabeau's usefullness. He gets Craft skills of every type that even give you two jackpot points instead of one - thus obliterating Odile's niche. Siffrin turns into a one-person army capable of clearing most encounters all on their own.
Siffrin's combat progression is an exact mirror of story progression - as their experience inside the loops grows, they also grow further and further away from their party. The party seems... weaker, slower, clumsier. Always back at their starting point, just as all of their character arcs are reset each loop. Never advancing, always stagnant. And you have Siffrin as the comparison post right next to them.
I also want to point out here a change from Act 2 to Act 3 - Siffrin's battle portrait. He stops smiling.
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Battles keep getting easier. This is true both for the reason that Siffrin keeps growing stronger even when all enemies stay the same, but also for the reason that you, the player, learn more about the battle system and the various encounters, until you've learned perfect boss clear strategies just from repetition. Have you ever watched a speedrunner play Pokemon? They've played this game so many times, they could do it blindfolded and sleeping. Your own knowledge and Siffrin's new strength work in tandem to trivialize the game's entire combat system as the game progresses.
(Is it still fun? Playing it over, and over, and over again? Is it?)
You and Siffrin are in sync, your experience making everything trivial.
As time goes on, Siffrin grows to care less and less about performing right for their party and more and more about going fast. A huge moment in his character is marked by the end of Act 3; because of story events I won't delve too deeply into, Siffrin has grown afraid of trying something new. And his options of escape are closing in. They need an answer, and they need it fast. He doesn't have the time or patience to dumb himself down, so you unlock one new skill.
It doesn't occur with level up, or with a quest, or anything at all. At the start of Act 4, it simply appears in Siffrin's Craft skills.
(Just attack.)
No pun. No joke. Just attack. Once you notice, the effect is immediate - here you have it, a clear sign of how jaded Siffrin has become, right at every encounter. And it's a damn good attack, too! The only available attack in the game that deals "massive" damage against all enemies. Because it doesn't add any jackpot points (at least, it's not supposed to), you set up a combo with everybody else, but Siffrin simply tears away at the enemy with wild abandon. Seperated from the rest of the party by the virtue of no longer needing to contribute to team attacks (most of the time. It's still useful if they do, though).
Once again, an aspect of the battle system enhances the degree of separation between Siffrin and the static characters of his play. You're incentivized to separate him, even.
Additionally, there are two more skills to learn. They're the only skills that replace previous skills. You only get them at extremely high levels, the latter of which I didn't even reach on both of my playthroughs.
The first, somewhere in the level 70 range, Rose Printed Glasses, a paper type craft skill, is replaced by Tear You Apart. It's still a pun about paper, but remarkedly more vicious.
The second is even more on the nose. At level 80, In A While, Rockodile!, a rock type craft skill, is replaced by the more powerful Rock Bottom.
I didn't get to level 80. If you do, you pretty much have to do it on purpose. You have to keep going much longer than necessary, as Siffrin is just done. And the last skill he learns is literally called Rock Bottom.
What do I even need to say, really.
Your party doesn't stay static forever, though.
By doing their hangout quests, side quests throughout the loops that result in Siffrin and the character having a heart to heart, all of them unlock what I'd call an "ultimate" skill. You know the type - the character achieved self-fulfillment, hit rank 10 on their confidant, maxed out their skill tree, and received a reward for their trouble.
These skills are massively useful. My favorite is Odile's - it makes one enemy weak to all Craft types for several turns, which basically allows you to invalidate the first and third boss, as well as just clown on the King, especially once Siffrin starts racking up damage.
But the thing is. In Act 3, when you first get them, yeah, they're useful. But... do you need them? After all, they're such a hassle to get. You need to do the whole character quest again, you can't loop forward in the House or you'll lose them. If you want to take these skills to the King, you need to commit. Go the full nine-yards and be nice to your friends and not die and not skip forward or skip back. Which is annoying, right?
Well, I sure did think so during Act 4. After all, a base level party can still defeat the King, just with a few more tricky pieces involved. Siffrin can oneshot almost all basic enemies by the time of Act 4. It's this exact evalutation that you, the player, go through everytime you return to Dormont. Do I want this skill, still? Would it not be faster to go on without it? I'm repeating myself, but that's the thing! That's what Siffrin is thinking, too!
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I also want to take a quick moment to note, here - all skills gained from hangouts have art associated with them, which no other skills do. This feature, the nifty art, hammers home these as "special" skills, besides just how they're unlocked.
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Siffrin also has one skill with associated art.
Yeah, you guessed it, it's (Just attack.)
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At first, helping the characters is tied to a hefty in-game reward, but that reward loses its value, and in return devalues helping Siffrin's friends every loop. It's too tedious for a skill that'll make a boss go by one turn faster. You, the player, grow jaded with the battle system. Grinding experience isn't worth it, everybody's highest levels are already recorded. Fighting bosses isn't worth it, it's much faster to loop forward.
Isn't this what all endgame in video games looks like? You already beat the final boss, and now... what challenge is left? Is there a point to keep playing? Most games will have some post-game content. A superboss to test your skills against, but ISAT doesn't have any of that. You're forever left chasing to the post-game. That's the whole point - to escape the game.
As most games get more difficult as time passes, ISAT only gets easier. The game becomes disinterested in expanding its own mechanics just as I ran out of new things to fight after 100%-ing Kingdom Hearts 3. Every encounter becomes a simple game of "press button to win."
The final boss just takes that one up a notch.
Spoilers for Act 5 ahead boys!
In Act 5, Siffrin utterly loses it. His last possible hope for escape failed him, told him there's nothing she can do, and Siffrin is trapped for eternity. So of course, they go insane and run up the entire House without their party.
This just proves what you already knew - you dont need the party to proceed. Siffrin alone is strong enough. And here, Siffrin has entirely shed the facade of the jokester they used to be. Every single skill now follows the (Just attack.) naming conventions. Your skills are: (Paper.) (Rock.) (Scissors.) (Breathe.)
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To the point. Not a moment wasted, because Siffrin can't take a moment longer of any of this. Additionally, his level is set to 99 and his equipment becomes fixed. You can't even pick up items anymore! Not that you needed them at this point anyway, right? Honestly, I never used any items besides the Salty Broth since Act 2, so I stopped picking items up a long time ago. Now you just literally can't.
Something I've not talked about until now - one of the main equipment types in this game are Memories, gained for completing subquests or specific interactions and events. They all by and large have little effects - make Odile's tonics heal more, or have Mirabelle cast a shield at the start of combat. For the hangout events, you also gain an associated memory that boosts the characters' stats by 30. It lets them keep up with Siffrin again! A fresh wind! Finally, your party members feel on par with you again!
...For a time. And just like that, they're irrelevant again, just as helping them gave Siffrin a brief moment of hope that the power of friendship could fix everything.
In Act 5, your memory is set to "Memory of Emptiness." It allows you to loop back in the middle of combat. You literally can't die anymore. Not that Siffrin could've died by this point in the first place, unless you forgot about the King's instant-kill attack. This one memory takes away the false pretense that combat ever had any stakes. Siffrin's level being set to 99 means even the scant exp you get is completely wasted on them. All stakes and benefits from combat have been removed. It has become utterly pointless.
Frustrating, right? It's an artistic frustration, though. It traps you right here in Siffrin's shoes, because he hates that all these blinding Sadnesses are still walking around just as much. It all inspires just a tiny fraction of that deep rolling anger Siffrin experiences here in the player.
And listen, it was cathartic, that one time Siffrin snapped and stabbed the tutorial Sadness, wasn't it? Because who enjoys sitting through the tutorial that often? Siffrin doesn't. I don't, either.
So, since combat is an useless obstacle now meant to inspire frustration, what do you do for a boss? You can't well make it a gameplay challenge now, no. The bosses of Act 5 are an emotional challenge: a painful wait.
First, Siffrin fights the King, alone. This is already nervewracking because of one factor - in every other run, you need Mirabelle's shield skill, or else you're scripted to die. You're actually forced to fight the King multiple times in Act 3, and have to do it at least once in Act 4, though you'll likely do it more. Point is: you know how this fight works.
You know Siffrin's fight is doomed from the outset, but all you can do is keep slinging attacks. Siffrin is enough of a powerhouse to take the King's HP down, what with the healing and buff skills they have now, not to even mention you can just go all in on damage and then loop back.
(And no matter which way you play it, whether you just loop or use strategically, it reflects on Siffrin, too. Has he grown callous enough not even death will stop their mission? Or does he still avoid pain, as much as he can?)
This fight still allows you the artifice of even that much choice, not that it matters. The other shoe drops eventually - Siffrin becomes slower, and slower. Unsettling, considering this game works on an Action Gauge system. You barely get turns anymore. The screen gets darker, and darker. Until Siffrin is frozen in time, just as you knew he had to be, because you know how this encounter works, know it can't be cleared without Mirabelle.
And, then, a void.
Siffrin awakens to nothingness. The only way to tell you've hit a wall is if Siffrin has no walking animation to match your button inputs. You walk, and walk, until you're approached by.... you. The next enemy encounter of the game, and Siffrin's absolute lowest point: Mal Du Pays.
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Or, "Homesickness," in english. If you know the game, you know why it's named this, but that's not the point at the moment.
Thing is, where you could damage the King and are damaged in turn, giving you at least a proper combat experience, even if its doomed to fail, Mal Du Pays has no such thing.
You can attack. You can defend. But it is immune to all attacks. And in return, it does nothing. It's common, at least, for undefeatable enemies to be a "survive" challenge, but nope. The entire fight is "press button and wait." Except, remember the previous fight against the King? The entire time, you were waiting for the big instant death attack to drop. That feeling, at least for me, carried forward. I was incredibly on edge just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, as is a pattern, Siffrin is, too. As Siffrin's attacks fail to connect, they start talking to Mal Du Pays.
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But he gets no response, as you get no attacks to strategize around. The wait for anything to happen is utterly agonizing. You and Siffrin are both waiting for something to happen. This isn't a fight. It just pretends to be. It's an utter rugpull, because Siffrin was so undefeatable for most of Act 4 and all of Act 5 so far. It's kind of terrifying!
and it does. It finally does something. Ma Du Pays speaks, in the voice of Siffrin's friends, listing out their deepest fears. I think it's honestly fantastic. You're forced to just sit here and listen to Siffrin's deepest doubts, things you know the characters could not say because it references the timeloops they're all utterly unaware of. This is all Siffrin, talking to himself. And all you, all Siffrin, can do, is keep wailing away on the enemy to no effect whatsoever.
So of course this ends with Siffrin giving up. What else can you do?
And then Siffrin's friends show up and unfreeze them and it's all very cool yay. The pure narrative scenes aren't really the main focus but I want to point out here:
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A) Mirabelle is in the first party slot here, referencing how she's the de facto protagonist, and Bonnie fills in the fourth slot left empty, which shows all characters uniting to save Siffrin
B) this is the only instance of the other party members having act specific battle icons: they're all smiling brightly, further pushed by the upbeat music
C) the reflecting shield Mirabelle uses to freeze the King uses a variation of her hangout skill cut in, marking it as her true "final" skill and giving the whole fight a more climatic feeling.
It's also a short gameplay sequence with Siffrin utterly uninvolved in the battle. You can't even see them onscreen. But... it feels warm, doesn't it? Everybody coming together. Siffrin doesn't have to fight anymore.
At last, the King is defeated. Siffrin and co. make for the Head Housemaiden, to have her look at Siffrin's sudden illness. Siffrin is utterly exhausted, famished, running a fever. And this isn't unexpected - after all, their skills in Act 5 had no cooldown. For context, instead of featuring any sort of MP system, all skills work on a cooldown basis, where a character can't use it for a certain number of turns. The lowest cooldown is actually Siffrin's Knife to Meet You, which has a cooldown of 1. In universe, this is reasoned as the characters needing a break from spamming craft in order to not exhaust themselves.
Siffrin's skills in Act 5 having no cooldown/being infinitely spammable isn't a sign of their strength - it's a sign that he refuses to let himself rest in order to rush through as fast as possible.
Moving on, Siffrin panics when seeing the Head Housemaiden, because seeing her means one thing: the end. Prior to this in the game, every single time you beat the King, the loop ends when you talk to the Head Housemaiden.
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Reality breaks down, the whole shebang. It's here that Siffrin realizes - they don't want the loops to end, because the end of their journey means their family will leave, and he'll be alone again. The happiest time of his life will be over.
Siffrin goes totally ballistic, to say the least.
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As it turns out (and was heavily foreshadowed narratively), Siffrin has been using Wish Craft to subconciously cause the timeloop because of their abandonment issues. It's rather predictable if you paid attention to literally anything, but it's extremely notable how heavily Siffrin is paralleled to the King, the antagonist they swore to kill by themself at the start of Act 5. The King wants to freeze Vaugarde in time because it is, in his mind, "perfect," for accepting him after he lost his home - a backstory he shares with Siffrin.
Siffrin has become the exact antagonist he swore to kill, and it's shown by how the next fight utterly flips everything on its head.
Siffrin is the final boss.
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In a towering form made of stars, Siffrin looks down at their friends. His face is terrified, because of his internal conflict; he can't hurt his friends, but he can't let them go, either. The combat prompt is simply changed to "END IT!"
This fight is similar to the previous, in that you just need to wait a certain number of turns until its over. However, this time, it's not dreadful suspense. It's... confusion, and hesitance.
You have two options for combat: Attack your friends, or attack yourself.
And... you don't really want to do either, I think. I certainly don't. But what else can you do? It's Siffrin's desires clashing in full force. Attack your friends, and force them to stay? Or attack yourself, and let them go safely without you?
Worth noting, here - when you attack Siffrin's friends, you can't harm them. Isabeau will shield all attacks. And when you attack yourself, Mirabelle will heal you back to full. And the friends don't... do anything, either. How could they? Occasionally, Mirabelle heals you and Isabeau shouts words of motivation, but the main thing is...
(Your friends don't know what to do.)
None of them want to harm Siffrin. Both sides simply stare at each other, resolute in their conviction but unwilling to end it with violence. It's of note that this loop, the last one, is the only loop where the King isn't killed. Just frozen. And now here is Siffrin, clamoring for the same eternity the King was. Of course everything ends in a tearfilled conversation as Siffrin sees their friends won't leave him, even after the journey ends, but I still have to appreciate this moment.
Siffrin is directly put in the position with their friends as his enemies, forced to physically reckon that keeping them in this loop is an act of violence, against both their friends, and against himself.
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It's a happy ending. But... what does it mean?
Of course, ISAT is obviously about the fear of change. Siffrin is afraid of the journey ending, and of being alone. However, ISAT is also a game about games. Siffrin is playing the same game, over and over, because it's comforting. It's familiar. It's nice, to know exactly what happens next. These characters might just be predictable lines of dialogue, but... they feel like friends. Have you ever played a game, loved it, put countless hours into it, but you never finished it? Because you just couldn't bear to see it end? For the characters to leave your life, for there to be a void in your heart where the game used to be?
After all, maybe it became part of your routine! You play the game every day, slowly chipping away at it for weeks at a time. For me, I beat ISAT in four days. It utterly consumed me during this time. I had 36 hours of playtime by the end. Yeah, in that week, I did not do much more than play ISAT.
And once i beat it, i beat it, again. I restarted the game to see the few scenes I missed, most specifically the secret boss I won't talk about here. I... couldn't let go of the game yet. I wanted to see every scrap I could. I still do. I'm writing this, in part because I still do. It's scary to let go.
Ever heard the joke term of "Postgame Depression?" It's when you just beat a game, and you're suddenly sad. Maybe because the ending affected you emotionally and you need to process the feelings it invoked, or you search for something that can now fill your time with it gone.
The game ends, for real this time, the last time you talk to the Head Housemaiden. But Siffrin gets... scared. What if everything loops back again? And so, his family offers to hold his hand. They face the end, together.
For all loops, including the ending, you never see what happens after. After they leave the loop for good. Because the loop is the game itself. It's asking you to trust that life goes on for these characters, and it holds your hand as it asks you to let go. There's a reason for Siffrin's theater metaphors. He is the actor, and the director, asking everyone to do it over one more time. He's a character within the game, and its player.
There's a reason I talked about endgame content. This, the way it all repeats, there's nothing new, difficulty and stakes bleed away as you snap the game over your knee - it's my copy of White 2 with two hundred hours in it. It's me playing Fire Emblem Awakening in under 3 hours while skipping every cutscene. Are you playing for the sake of play, for the sake of indulging in your memories, because you're afraid of the hole it'll leave when you stop?
Of note: the narrative never condemns Siffrin for unwittingly causing their own suffering. He's a victim of circumstance. It's seen as endearing, even, that Siffrin loves their friends to the point of rather seeing the world destroyed than them gone. But Siffrin is also told: we'll stay with you for now, but we'll part ways eventually. And one day, you'll have to be okay with it.
Stop draining the things you love of every ounce of enjoyment just because you're afraid of what happens next. I'm not saying to never play your favorite games again. Playing ISAT a second time, I still had a lot of fun! I saw so many new things I didn't before, and I enjoyed myself immensely, reading the same dialogue over and over. But... it makes me look at other games I love and still play, and makes me ask... is this still fun? Do I still need to play this game to enjoy it? Even writing this is an afterimage of my enjoyment, but it's a new way to interact with the game, to analyze it through this lens. Fuck, man, I write fanfiction. Look at me.
All of this, fanart, fanfic, analysis, is a way to prolong that enjoyment without making yourself suffer for it. Without just going through the motions of enjoyment without actually experiencing any. But one day, the thing you love won't be fun to talk and write and draw about. And it's okay. You'll have new things to love. I promise.
In the end.... I'm certain I'll replay ISAT one day. Between great writing, art, puzzles and unresolved mysteries, it's my shoe-in for game of the year.
But I won't replay it for quite some time. I've had enough, for now, so I let my love take other forms.
Siffrin is never condemned, because love is no evil. Be it love for another person, or for a game. And please, if you're overempathetic - it's still a game, at the end of the day. The great thing about games is that you can always boot them up again, no matter how long its been.
A circle within a circle indeed.
To summarize:
The repetitiveness of ISAT's combat, lack of new enemies, and Siffrin's ever increasing strength eventually allows you to snap the combat over your knee, rendering it irrelevant and boring. Though this may seem counterproductive at first, it perfectly mirrors how Siffrin has also grown bored with these repeated encounters and views them only as an obstacle to get past. The reflection of Siffrin's own tiredness with the player's annoyance increases the compassion the player has for Siffrin as a character.
Additionally, the endgame state of the combat system serves as commentary on the state of a favorite game played too often, much like how Siffrin has unwittingly trapped themself in the loop. Despite the game having no more challenge or content left to over, a player might return to their favorite game anyway, solely to try and recreate the early experience of actually having fun with it. This ties into ISAT's metanarrative about the fear of change and refusal to let go of comfort even when the object (here, your favorite video game) offering that comfort has become utterly bereft of any substance to actually engage with. Playing for the sake of playing, with no actual investment to keep going besides your own memories.
Later on, stripping away even the pretense of strategy for a "press button and wait" format of final bosses highlights the lack of options at Siffrin's disposal and truly forces the player into their shoes. Truly, the only way to win is to stop playing.
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raeathnos · 2 years
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#my dads been sick for several days and is outright refusing to go to the doctor#he keeps saying it’s just allergies and then not covering his mouth when he coughs and sneezes and it’s like#it’s very clearly not just allergies#he always does this when he gets sick#refuses and refuses to go to the doctor#I have a really weak immune system so it’s pretty much just a matter of time till I catch whatever it is since he won’t go get medicine#and it’s very frustrating because I’ll get much sicker than him#and it’s thanksgiving next week#if I catch it I won’t be better so I’ll miss the holiday#but then we’re not allowed to call off on Black Friday so I’ll get to go unload a massive truck and deal with obnoxious customers#I’m trying to isolate myself in my room but like#he’s been sick for like a week now and today I don’t feel right#so I bet that’s me starting with it#it’s so frustrating#like you clearly very sick just go to the fucking doctor#he’s so cheap he doesn’t want to pay the copay or for the medicine is what it is tbh#I wanna scream 🙃#his immune system is like an ox so he’ll be fine#meanwhile whenever I get sick it turns into like three different things#last month I had a sinus infection/bronchitis that was starting to turn into pneumonia 🙃#so you know#wish my dad would take that part more seriously but I’m not surprised that he doesn’t#he almost got me killed a few years back cause he refused to take me to the ER#if that gives you a better idea#I had neurovirus and had become so dehydrated I had slipped into unconsciousness#I got taken at all because my mom got worried when she couldn’t get me to wake up#my dad still didn’t want to take me and was just like she’s resting leave her be#I wound up in the hospital for three days#they estimated I had about two hours left until I actually would’ve died when they finally got me to the ER#doctor ripped him a new one
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cocoreallylovesraiden · 7 months
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MK1 characters and sick! reader
(johnny cage, bi-han, smoke +liu kang & shang tsung)
not proof read not thought out not nothing i am SICK and this is my OUTLET (again this is not serious, just goofy stuff)
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Johnny Cage
- sick equivalent of “it’s not uterus it’s uterUS”
- Especially if he doesn’t have much going on in his schedule? It’s like there’s two sick people in the house
- He has ZERO issues laying in bed all day with you- until he decides on a group excursion to the living room couch where you will… continue to lay there! Exciting.
- Depending on how sick you are he’d be more serious, if it was just a little cold and nothing to worry about, expect to have some movies in the back while you doze in and out of his incessant chatting
- (I personally think he can’t cook well) so your favourite takeout is ordered and put into one of those fancy ass bowls to make it look like a home cooked meal. Bless him.
- Wearing matching ugly pjs like the worlds bleakest slumber party
- Says he doesn’t care about getting sick from being close to you, but makes jokes about your ‘heebies’ getting all over him if you ask for any physical contact (he will over enthusiastically oblige)
- If you’re seriously ill, he would be at a loss, especially when his usual demeanour can’t seem to cheer you up.
- Since i imagine his relationship with his parents isn’t the best, he’d probably call one of your family members to ask how to best care of you, and take it from there
- He wouldn’t treat you like a glass vase though, still cracking jokes while he attends to your needs; but in a way where you can tell he’s trying to mask how vulnerable he feels in his care for you.
- Calls you his sicky wicky honey boo boo sugar tits pumpkin pie
- Definitely gets the man flu once you recover no question about it
- As you lay in bed, sweating from your fever with this huge piece of man meat hugging up on you, all you can hear in the back of your head is “BAAAAYBBUHHHHH…. IT HUUURTTSS…” (congratulations! You can see into the future!)
- Also would call his assistant to ask for help. What are they going to know? They just do his accounting!
Bi Han
- You are sick? Have fun not being allowed to do ANYTHING. No chores, no training, no oily food, no Netflix- NO NETFLIX?
- He claims that extended screen time will only agitate your condition.
- He takes it upon himself to care for you; making easy to digest food, offering to help you shower when you feel physically weak, buying all sorts of medicines, etc.
- it would be easier to send someone to do some of these tasks (aside from the showering.) but no. Out of the kindness of his heart? Yes, of course. He loves you dearly. But also because he does not trust anyone to be as competent as he is.
- As the grandmaster gives you several containers of traditional Chinese medicine, you can only wonder if some pharmacist is sponsoring him. If you dare complain they taste horrible, he will GLADLY take a pill or a bit of powder just to show you were being a wuss
- Nags you for not being careful, and at first it’s annoying but you figure out eventually it’s because he’s worried and this is how he shows his love and concern
- During the day he has to be off at work, and as the hours pass those around him see his shoulders tense higher and higher. You’ve eaten lunch, right? You’ve taken your medicine?
- But don’t worry! Once you show the SLIGHTEST signs of recovery, it’s back to the grind.
- You can sniffle and puppy eyes him all you want, but once he deems you fit for daily life, we are back for business! No more Mr Marginally Nicer Bi Han!
- That being said, once you’re back to smiling and laughing, he will admit that it’s nice to see you back to your usual self.
Smoke
- feels horrible that you’re sick, but secretly proud of his immune system for staying strong; now he has an excuse to show off his hospitality skills!
- sort of like bi-han, expect instead of professional fussing you get excited pampering, gets to the point where you have to ask whether or not he should be at work instead of here
- “Work? Taking care of you is my work!”
- Uses this as a chance to freshen up memory on his hometown; making foods, remedies and tricks he remembers his mother doing for him as a sick child.
- If you ask him more about it, he will gladly go into detail- telling wonderful stories even if he occasionally gets emotional through them
- Cleans your face with a damp cloth and uses it as an excuse to get all close with you- again! He has a strong immune system, so nothing to worry about.
- While he’s off at work, he leaves you notes around the house to remind you that he’s thinking of you and hopes you feel better soon- if you collect all the notes, he becomes embarrassed and acts like he doesn’t know who wrote them
- Comes home and snuggles with you, mentioning even if you did have a fever, it was nice because outside was so cold and you were so warm.
- A little tone deaf, but he’s… got the spirit?
- Secretly upset once you get better because you’re less accommodating to his needy/ clingy behaviour, but it’s also great that you can communicate with words and not pained groans!
- You are WAITING for the day he gets sick. There’s no way you’ve gotten the flu 4 times, and he hasn’t. He sleeps in the same bed as you when you’re sick! Kisses you!
- How did they raise kids to be so strong where he’s from?
BONUS
Liu Kang
- you don’t get sick.
- flu season? he makes you take traditional medicine to prevent it.
- cold? you’re funny. around him? Liu “Set Off Fire Alarms With His Flaming Biceps” Kang? Haha.
- food poisoning? he Knows if the food is off, and won’t let you get the chance to eat it.
- Papa is going to make sure influenza season hits a new low this year
- Seriously, medical insurance companies are terrified of him.
Shang Tsung
- very creepily offers you an elixir and asks you to drink it.
- (Here is the part where I say: but you know he won’t hurt you, so you take it. But, you don’t know. He’s looking at you reeeaaalll funny)
- Notices your glare and takes a moment to re-do his sales pitch, this time a lot less devil-binding-contract and more… human…like?
- turns out, the elixir was just a failed experiment on shape-shifting. he sheepishly offers practical medicine while you roll your eyes.
Kung Lao
- is also sick.
- You both are idiots.
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walpu · 7 months
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Hello, first of all i want to say i really like your work and your writings 💞 Can i request some sickness headcanons with Aventurine when dating reader? Preferably hcs about how he would act if he was the one sick, and if the reader was sick. Thank you!
Thank you so much 🥹
Hope you'll enjoy it!
sickness headcanons with Aventurine
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characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, hurt/comfort, no beta
I think Aven has a weak immune system due to the hardships he faced as a child. It's quite easy for him to catch a cold even if the weather is nice.
Hates it with a burning passion.
I mean it always sucks to be sick but he hates it for a bunch of other reasons as well.
It's time-consuming and he's a busy person, that's what he tells everyone.
And while it's true, the main reason is that he simply hates being so weak and vulnerable.
He has a private doctor who treats him but Aven doesn't fully trust them either.
He usually just takes his meds and tries to walk it off. Not like he can afford to take a day-off anyway.
When the two of you start dating and you notice that he doesn't feel well, he would try to brush it off. No big deal, baby. Just a bit tired. If we cuddle I'll get better <З
He trusts you, he truly does. However, it doesn't mean he wants you to see him miserable, weak and with a red stiffy nose. He doesn't like this image of himself so what if you won't like it either?
If he has a fever he will try to distance himself from you. Doesn't want you to get seek as well, he truly doesn't wish to be a cause of your discomfort.
Plus, what good can he give you when he's like that anyway? A bit off-topic but I just keep thinking about his "you can use me however you want me even betray me <З" line and his lunar new year card where he's like "yeahhh if you spend the day with me you'll be lucky for the rest of the year soooo" babygirl i promise you don't need to bribe me or be convenient just to have some company
Would never refuse your care though. Simply can't do it, he's a weak weak man. May whine a bit at the beginning, trying to convince you that this is not necessary, but as soon as you sooth him and maybe kiss his forehead he gives up completely.
Suddenly forgets all about the possibility of you getting sick if you keep being too close to him, will cling to you like a kitten.
"Your cuddles are the best medicine~" my ass.
Would follow all of your instructions even if they're questionable.
Wants to be spoon-fed too. Anddd tuck him in. And kiss his forehead. And stay by his side until he falls asleep.
He's needy okay. He never had anyone who would care for him when he's so weak so he cherishes every moment. May even get a bit upset when he's feeling better.
Would ask you to look after him for a few more days juts to make sure he's 10000% okay. Keep dotting on his tho because what if he'll get sick again because of the lack of cuddles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you're the one who's seek he'll overreact.
Like even if it's the smallest thing, he'll insist on calling his own private doctor to check on you.
You're the best thing in his life, his promised dawn. Of course he'll look after you. Even if looking after you means being a clingy mother hen.
No excuses, he'll take care of you. Even if you have seen worse. Even if you're very busy. Even if it's not that big of a deal.
The problem is. He's never looked after a sick person before.
His every attempt to nurse you back to health is overwhelming. Tries every single method he can find in the internet so please stop him if needed.
Insists on cuddling you all of the time. Generally tries to do everything you do for him when he's sick since you're literally his only example.
If you receive too many work-related phone calls from someone he would not hesitate to pick up the phone before you and say that yeah y/n is busy right now, they are sick, so the optimal solution would be for the caller to deal with their own problems, surely they are not so helpless to rely on a sick person to do everything for them :)
Just wants for you to be alright as soon as possible.
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cvrsedslytherin · 14 days
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Finding Comfort in You.
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Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x female!Reader
Summary: Sweet & protective Sebastian being a wholesome boyfriend to his girl, who’s not feeling well.
(Just a short fic. I randomly wrote this now while I’m secretly going through it again these last few days. Haven’t been online. Spent hours in a medical lab yesterday, killed me. Sorry if there’s any mistakes, haven’t slept in days. Needed some comfort though. I hope this comforts anyone else who may feel unwell 💕)
— ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ —
“Sweetheart, how are you holding up?” Came the gentle, low tone of her boyfriend, Sebastian Sallow.
The freckle-faced brunet saw his girlfriend curled up on a lounge chair in his dorm— luckily, just the two of them were in there now. She had gone through a lot in the past few days, not having felt well at all. Her body making it to a point of slight exhaustion now. Her whole, small & delicate frame was hugging the pillow, burying her face into it as she shook her head to answer his question. Other small shakes shown by her body, indicating how bad she felt.
A muffled, “not well” barely heard from the girl’s fragile voice. 
A huge part of him fretted and worried as she temporarily reminded him of his twin sister, Anne. Just for a short moment and that made him go straight to her. Wanting to pull her away from the pillow and into his arms instead. An overprotectiveness came over him, like a high tide. He hated seeing his girlfriend suffer too.
His girlfriend had a weak immune system; she was prone to easily collapsing at times when she’d catch something or even at random. And she constantly got upset at herself when it happened— feeling so meek and weak, which was not welcomed by her. 
Then again, nobody likes feeling that way. 
But Sebastian knew her well and wasn’t going to let her shy away from him now. Not after everything they’d been through. The feelings of weakness, he wouldn’t let her fight through that alone.
Carefully, he approached the chair and her backside— gently, he reached out with his strong hands, starting to rub it. 
“Love, come on… get in my bed. Let me help.” He always kept his voice soft at these moments but also with a slight firmness so she wouldn’t be stubborn about it.
However, being stubborn was in her nature; just as it was for him. She knew all he had gone through with Anne and watching her crumble apart— so she did not want to add another worry to Sebastian’s life. Especially when the boy was so fond of loved ones and would kill for them. Anne and her were his weak spots. She knew just how passionate Sebastian could be and how that often led him down a darker path. 
Though she felt feeble right now, she lifted her face off of the pillow a bit, to be heard and spoke out, “It’s fine… Seb. You were given… so many essays to do. Just focus on your studies, not me. I’ll… get through this.” She tried to sound convincing but her voice truly was strained and it didn’t help that a cough came out after all that. Plus it was a weak answer in general. 
Sebastian let out an unamused sigh, his hands still soothingly rubbing her back as he leaned closer to her. 
“Since when did I become a Ravenclaw? As if I care about that… especially right now. You’re my priority.”
She also let out a sigh of her own, knowing it was a stupid thing that she just said now. Sebastian cared more for her than the blasted schoolwork. He’d always be able to catch up on that anyway. That’s how he always got by. He was smart; even a bookworm— but preferred to not follow rules so much and do his own thing.
“Seb… really, don’t worr— eek!“ she started but he cut her off, making her squeak out. The hands rubbing her back had now snaked around and started lifting her off. For him, it was an easy feat— she was small compared to him and he liked using that to his advantage.
And she had been too weak to even wriggle out of that grasp; they both knew it. Her body had mostly gone limp from feeling sick these days. There was a nauseating feeling bothering her for hours lately, along with a headache plaguing her sometimes.
So there he had her in an instant— her back flush to his towering frame. He immediately took an arm and put it under the back side of her knees once he got them standing. Lifting her into a bridal style, knowing she wouldn’t be able to squirm her way out of it.
Once he had her in that position and saw her weary face along with that messy hair from clear stress, his brows furrowed and a deep frown etched onto him.
“You don’t have to do this alone… please. Just accept my help… I’m your boyfriend, aren’t I? I… don’t want you carrying your burdens on your own.” He calmed himself internally, speaking quietly. Usually, he could get hot-headed but seeing her look so unwell made his heart ache completely. 
His voice always had a way of soothing her— not just his touches. She could feel the care through his words and felt slightly guilty but she was usually like this. Not one to call for help due to past traumas. She’d try handling a lot alone until it got too much. She had those rare moments of breaking down & seeking him— he just wished, she’d seek him more; not only when it became extreme. 
Feeling too tired and even more of that guilt creep in, she leaned her head against him, mumbling. “I’m …sorry, baby. I just… don’t want to stress you.”
That pet name always made his heart burst a little. Honestly, any of them did. He adored being hers. The slightest twinge of a flush graced his handsome, freckled face. 
He huffed though, reaching his bed in that short distance and gently placing her on it. The covers had already been undone luckily and he made sure her head got placed tenderly onto his pillow. She always enjoyed his bed; it smelt of him. His scent always lingers on his pillows.
“Not stress. I worry… and maybe my emotions can get the best of me at times but I’m with you… I’m yours. You’re mine. I care a lot.” He paused, looking at her; starting to gently brush away hair from her face as she let out another cough. 
A slight wince followed after, indicating she felt some pain still. 
“We share these things. You’d never leave me alone if I’m going through it— through anything! So why would I leave you? We’re a couple and I’m not gonna let you get away with this anymore.”
That tone of his stayed soft but the firmness returned, a mild command rushing into those words and she knew, he was utterly serious. Her eyes stared at him… the way that perfectly sculpted hand brushed away her hair and then how those deep brown eyes, (that could melt into honey in the light) looked at her with nothing but devotion. A plethora of emotions hit her as if an ocean wave just rolled in. 
He caressed her face sweetly next, the worry still on him— especially upon feeling that she was of a very warm body temperature. 
“I’ll hold you when you need it most… I can’t stand seeing you suffer, just let me do it more.” Those words had been in the form of a plea now; his hand still lovingly caressing her face. He had gone from mildly commanding to begging a little— only for her. 
Closing her eyes to enjoy the touch of her boyfriend, she nodded slowly. “Okay, love… thank you.”
A small smile finally formed, “don’t thank me for that.”
With that said; of course— he got into the bed with her, pulling the covers over them. He meant it when he said he’d hold her— in the most literal sense. There was no letting go.
Plus it was his bed and it wouldn’t be like Sebastian to NOT get into the bed too. Perhaps that slight mischievous side… was slightly using the situation to his advantage but he meant it all genuinely.
So he cuddled up with her; making her bury her face into his chest while he rested his chin on the top of her head. Legs slightly tangling together; her strained but quiet breaths, touching the skin of his neck. The possessiveness in him wanting to escape out and almost cuff her to him so she could never leave his side. Those thoughts were always whirling in that mind of his. He had his hands wrapped around her; tightly, securely— making her know that she was safe with him. 
The security she felt with him was off the charts and she sighed contently; almost forgetting she was unwell for a split moment. As silent praise— she placed a little, quick but gentle kiss on his neck, making him shiver in sweet torment for a moment. His arms around her getting a bit tighter but not enough to harm— one hand lazily tracing mindless patterns on her back, through her clothes. 
“I love you, darling. Lean on me, rest… and get better soon.” He whispered with all the affection in the world and she replied with an “I love you too Sebastian,” before drifting off in his warm embrace. He would stay the whole time until she woke up. 
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the-writer-arrived · 1 year
Text
In Sickness and In Health
Synopsis: how does your lover act when you're sick?
Characters: alhaitham; wriothesley.
Warnings: gender neutral!reader; established relationship (marriage); pre-4.1 release so wrio may be ooc; wrio is a duke, so i think he'll have a mansion and people working for him like navia and diluc have (servants? retainers? idk); wriothesley is portrayed to be a bit overprotective, but that's just his alpha wolf side talking lol.
A/N: this will be very self insert of me bc i'm sick and want my two husbands to take care of me :( also we can finally hear wrio speak!!! i melted at his first words <3 AND HIS THEME SONG??? ABSOLUTELY FIRE!!!!
(p.s: today may be my birthday, but this is a gift from me to you all <3 thank you so much for all the support and love <3 feel free to drop an ask, brainrots or just fangirl over the new genshin characters :D)
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"I told--"
"Not another word."
You know exactly what Alhaitham is going to say and you really do not want to hear it right now.
The glare you send his way would be """intimidating""" to your lover (no, it wouldn't), if it weren't for the fact that you're buried under the covers, making you look like a burrito (a verycute one, in his opinion).
You see, there was a sudden shift in Sumeru's weather: the week began so very hot, even during the night, but then the temperature dropped and became chilly and rainy out of a sudden.
Alhaitham had told you to take an umbrella and you did have it with you! But it was just a few droplets of rain when you left work, so you didn't bother to use it, thinking there wouldn't be any consequences.
...Well, you felt the consequences when you woke up this morning with a sore throat and a stuffy nose.
Luckily for you, your husband, who's trying really hard to not say 'I told you so', doesn't have work today and can spend the day taking care of you.
Wether he really doesn't have to go to the Akademiya today or has decided that himself, you're not completely sure.
Alhaitham doesn't loom over you nor follow your shadow 24/7 asking you if you need anything.
He lets you do your thing, since you simply have mild symptoms of a cold, but checks on you from time to time, reminding you the right time to take your medicine, drink water and rest.
Of course, if he catches you overworking your body, Alhaitham will gently but firmly drag you to bed or the nearest couch, going as far as carrying you in his arms, if you refuse to concede.
When he asks you what you want for dinner, you jokingly say you want a soup, knowing that your lover isn't the biggest fan that kind of dish.
To your surprise, however, you wake up from your nap with a delicious smell in the air (which is a sign that your nose isn't as stuffy anymore) and find your husband taste-testing the soup he has prepared for you.
"You misunderstand." He says, after you question him about his dislike of the dish. "I don't hate soup, I just find it inconvenient to drink it while I am reading. Now, come eat dinner, I'll feed you."
You laugh, thinking Alhaitham is joking about feeding you.
...Jokes on you, he isn't. And if you continue to resist, he will make you sit on his lap while he feeds you. You obey, fearing you might get a fever from embarrassment.
When it's time to go to sleep, you offer to sleep in the guest room to avoid having him catch your cold.
"My immune system isn't weak, I don't get sick so easily like you."
You feel somewhat offended, more by the fact that you can't deny that, rather than by the words themselves.
Even if what Alhaitham says is true, you don't want to risk it, so the solution you come up with is: spooning!
...But with him as the little spoon.
It is quite an amusing sight, really. You look like you're hugging a giang body pillow by the way you're snuggling your face on the back of your lover's neck. He's glad you can't see his face while he tries not to show that action of yours tickles him.
Feeling that your breath has slowed down and you are asleep, Alhaitham turns around to face you, staring at your peaceful expression. You look much better now than in the morning, which he's glad he took the day off to take care of you.
He gives you a kiss on the forehead, before closing his eyes and allowing sleep to come to him.
'How troublesome.' He thinks.
'But, since it's you, it's always worth the trouble.'
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"But, Wrio--"
"Absolutely not, you are to stay in bed while I call a doctor."
You huff, looking away when Wriothesley continues to frown at your sniffing figure.
Fontaine's weather has been crazy lately. One day, the heat is almost sweltering; in the next, it's cloudy and rainy for days. Only those with strong health can endure these drastic changes. Unfortunately, you are not one of those people.
Yesterday's weather wasn't exactly cold, but it was raining the whole day. You didn't have work, but still had one last errand to run.
Yes, you could let the workers of Wriothesley's mansion do that. Would you actually do that? Of course not <3
It was becoming late, afternoon quickly ending and you were starting to feel antsy. You looked at the window and didn't see the droplets hitting the glass, which makes you believe the rain had stopped momentarily. No way you would let that opportunity slip by, right??
Hah, sike!
The moment you step outside, you realize that no, the rain hadn't stopped and you were foolish enough to not grab an umbrella on the way out.
The smart thing to do was to turn back and grab it, right? Yes. That's what you did, right? Nope :D 'Too much work' was what you thought as you stepped onto the streets.
...It doesn't take a genius to know what happened then. No umbrella + very cold rain hitting your skin = sickness!
And it didn't even take long for symptons to appear. Goosebumps, runny nose, cold sweating, sore throat... Although things weren't looking serious, you looked for medicine to keep those symptons under control.
Also, your husband has been very busy with dealing with the Fortress of Meropide and coming home late, you shouldn't add more to his plate by making him worries about a simple cold... At least, that was your plan.
What you didn't count on was to have a fever in the early morning, which is what brought you to the current situation.
For outsiders, Wriothesley seems quite angry at you. However, the truth is that he's angry at himself.
He hasn't been able to spend much time with you lately, having to be up at the crack of dawn and come back home late into the night. As lovely as your sleeping face is, he misses your smile, your laughter and overall misses being by your side.
And now, you've fallen sick and he can't even stay to take care of you. Who wouldn't be upset in his place?
Your husband's tense shoulders relax by a fraction when the doctor tells him you're just with a cold, but he still tells the people of the mansion to take care of your evey need and not let you lift a finger.
The workers think it's a bit of an overreaction on their lord's part, but they know it comes from a place of deep care and affection for you, his lovely spouse.
Still, they are a bit more lenient after Wriothesley leaves for the Fortress, allowing you to get up from bed and do things on your own, but someone is quickly by your side when fatigue wears you down.
Another order the servants received from him is to send him frequent reports about your well-being throughout the day, which... quickly gets tiring...
Thankfully, you decide to take that task to yourself and turn the reports into a exchange of short letters to one another.
I sure hope this is by a (mechanical?) messenger pigeon or else, poor servant running through Fontaine LOL
For the first time in weeks, Wriothesley comes back to the mansion at a reasonable hour! Past dinner time, but oh well, he worked really hard to finish every task in record time just to go back to his spouse.
"What are you doing up and about? You should be resting, my love." He says, after you appeared to greet him like a puppy running to his owner.
"Darling, please, I already spent way too much time in bed. I'm not bedridden, for celestia's sake!"
After a much needed couple quality time, it is time to go to sleep... which brings a problem to your husband's mind.
Considering that he owns a cryo vision, his body is a bit colder than normal, so that may make you--
"I know what you are thinking and you are NOT going to sleep elsewhere. You are to sleep by my side and that's final."
Wriothesley, the famous Administrator of the Fortress of Meropide, the man who can maintain peace in that place by using his words or his fists, will always give up on doing or saying whatever that he had planned and concede to the words of his spouse. Especially when they use that particular tone that leaves no room for negotiations.
Still, it is true that your man's body temperature is a bit on the colder side due to his powers, but that will NOT get in the way of your cuddling.
You wrap yourself with the warmest blankets you have, looking like the most adorable burrito he has ever had the pleasure to love, before worming your way into his strong arms.
Wriothesley huffs a chuckle and holds you protectively to his chest. He has a good health, so he's not worried about getting sick.
"...Is it irresponsable of me to think it wouldn't be that bad to catch your cold?" He quietly asks, not expecting an answer while looking at your sleeping face.
"Heh, I can almost hear you scolding me for wishing for such things." He gives you a kiss on the top of your head. "Rest well, my love."
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thanks for reading <3 likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated <3
heart divider made by @/cafekitsune
pink alhaitham and wriothesley banners (fluff) made by @/the-writer-arrived aka yours truly ;)
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foldingfittedsheets · 2 months
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Hey! If you don't mind sharing, I'd be interested to hear more about your chronic illness diagnosis journey (I also get that it can be a private thing!).
I've been struggling for the last 5 or so years with chronic fatigue, muscle weakness, muscle pain and brain fog, and my doctors have checked a bunch of different things. EBV, thyroid, vitamin D, "are you sure you're not just depressed" and they've now gone for ME/CFS. A part of that just doesn't feel right to me because I feel like they should have done more tests or walked me through alternatives before settling! Especially because it fluctuates so much. Sometimes I can't leave the house, sometimes I have to borrow a wheelchair if I'm in a shop, sometimes I can walk 5000 steps??
Love and support for you and your gluten free adventure - potatoes, rice and polenta tend to be pretty good for me when I want something bready! (Doesn't quite hit the spot as well as buttered toast does though...)
My decline was really painfully gradual. I didn’t realize why things were getting so much harder. It manifested first with friction between my beloved because they were frustrated I was always too tired to run little errands myself. I went to the doctor and talked about my fatigue but was assured I was fine. I went on Chinese herbs and they buoyed up my reserves so I could keep functioning.
That went on for months, just getting more and more tired. I’d wake up sobbing because I wasn’t any more rested than I’d gone to bed. I went to a new doctor at that point. I got diagnosed with anemia until my blood work came back normal and then I was told I was fine.
Then I started fainting. My hair was falling out. I went to a different doctor. She ran my blood. I got told I was fine, but that maybe I had a food allergy. She slapped me with a full elimination diet that broke my spirit. I did feel some minor improvement but I wasn’t healthy by any means.
Finally, my good friend who is a doctor said that’s enough. She was in a different state but she was furious that I wasn’t getting any help. She ran my blood on a bunch of different ailment tests that were less well known. She tested for antibodies to EBV. If you have over 20 they consider you to have an active infection.
I had over 700 which is when they stop bothering to count.
I was so chock full of virus I was pound for pound virus by that point.
Then came the hard part. Knowing you’re bursting at the seams with a virus doesn’t make it easy to treat. The virus was living in me, in my cells. Too much of the medication and my body would start siccing it’s defenses against its own tissue.
I went on a bonanza of supplements. There was syrups to boost energy, pills to increase my immune system, antivirals, iron and vitamin D because those were kinda low. It was a three times a day regime of medicines.
My initial dose of antiviral was too high. I experienced a pain unlike what any mortal should bear as a result, dropping to the ground to writhe in agony when it hit. My dosage got lowered and my progress crept along.
I started school sometime in there and barely kept my head afloat above coursework. My stress load from school correlated to how much energy I had and I longed to finish my degree and just prioritize feeling better.
Then things got worse. My original doctor friend let her prescription rights for my state lapse, it didn’t make financial sense to keep them. A different friend from yet another state wrote my antivirals for a while but eventually I needed a new doctor.
I found another, this time a naturopathic doctor like my friends, hoping I’d keep receiving good care in that scope of practice. I didn’t. I had the most painful blood draw of my life in her office, writhing in agony, then didn’t hear back from her. I got ghosted by my doctor. When I pestered her for results she wrote me a script for antivirals but that was all.
I’d find out about eight months later when my health was declining and my friends demanded to see my blood work that my iron had been dangerously low but she hadn’t bothered to tell me. I got on iron supplements and staggered along.
Through precision time management I could budget my functional time into schoolwork then collapse to recuperate. It was working, but barely.
When my scrip on antivirals ran out I hunted once again for a doctor. This time I’d realized that any good care I’d gotten was when I’d made a personal connection with the doctor, a rare privilege not many people got. So I sought out a friend of a friend, someone I’d seen on occasion in the doctory social circle.
I have never been more happy with a doctor. She tested my viral numbers and pronounced herself satisfied that it was in check but was suspicious that although my thyroid numbers always looked normal that something was going on there. She ran more tests and lo. A thyroid imbalance.
Around that time I’d sunk into needing the chair. I stopped functioning, it was almost as bad as my first collapse. And yet again the fun part of getting my thyroid in balance was a delicate balance of making sure I wasn’t taking too much and hurting myself.
That balancing act took about a year to stabilize. I was still so weak from years of fatigue and inactivity. An able bodied person cannot imagine how hard it is to build up from ground zero on all your muscles. And the worst part was any time I felt tired I was terrified I was going to slip back down into the depths of exhaustion.
Then my beloved and I got Wyvern the puppy. And before we realized we had both somehow developed allergies to dogs and had to break our hearts giving him up, he saved me the last time.
Potty training meant I had to get up every two hours to take him out. I didn’t have to walk far but I had to do it consistently. Every single day I’d go to bed aching in every muscle, terrified to wake up. But every day I woke up with energy and was able to do it again.
It was like puppy boot camp, and I was able to go longer and farther every walk. By the time we realized we couldn’t keep him I was mobile again, I hadn’t needed my chair at all. When we said goodbye to him I promised I wouldn’t lose the progress he helped me make.
Now I finally, for the first time in six years, feel healthy again. I can go on long walks, I can run little errands for my beloved, I can fill my days with activity and wake up to do it again the next day. It’s the most amazing thing.
I hope you can stumble upon a doctor who can listen to you and help you. I know how hard things can get, but sometimes they can get better.
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covid-safer-hotties · 15 days
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Also preserved on our archive
By Jessica Wildfire
Our friends and family think they understand their immune system because George Carlin explained it to them in the 90s:
"Where did this sudden fear of germs come from? What do you think you have an immune system for? It's for killing germs. But it needs practice. It needs germs to practice on. If you kill all the germs around you, and lead a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along you're not going to be prepared. What are you gonna do? I'll tell you what, you're gonna get sick and you're gonna die and you're gonna deserve it because you're f-ing weak and you've got a f-ing weak immune system."
George Carlin was right about a lot of things, but he was wrong on this one.
(He got plastic wrong, too.)
Unfortunately, this part of his 11th HBO standup special became permanently lodged into the American cultural memory. I only saw it once as a kid, but it stayed with me for the rest of my life.
Not even AP Biology could dislodge it.
I, too, used to think you built your immune system up by exposing yourself to harmful germs. How could the great prophet George Carlin be mistaken on something that made so much intuitive sense, especially when you dropped a few f-bombs in there? I also thought it was a good thing to exercise your way through a cold. Then I opened myself up to the possibility that I was wrong.
In the words of Carl Sagan, I'd been bamboozled.
In early 2020, this Carlin bit inspired countless reaction videos that still litter the internet. Anti-science zealots have used George Carlin's monologue on disease thousands of times over the last four years to ridicule masks, vaccines, and clean air. Everywhere you look, that piece of standup looms in the background, and it's getting revived again for bird flu. But even George Carlin got the idea from somewhere else.
You can trace this misguided notion back to hygiene theory, proposed by David Strachan in 1989. Strachan argued that a whole range of health problems in the late 20th century had roots in "a lower incidence of infection in early childhood." Basically, our immune systems weren't getting enough exposure to bacteria and viruses. He was mainly talking about the rise in childhood allergies as the result, but the media began printing loose interpretations of his studies and jumping to conclusions that less exposure to disease was a bad thing in general. So the public developed the idea that somehow getting sick was good for you. So began the myth of the "bored immune system" that needed practice in order to stay healthy. Gurus and quacks latched onto this idea. So did talkshows.
And then comedians...
It wasn't until 2003 that Graham Rook offered a more accurate description of the situation. As he explained, "microbes have evolved into an essential role in regulating our immune system... the microbes involved are not infections, but friendly microbes which make up our human microbiome. These are acquired by exposure to other humans or animals and microbiota from our natural environment."
This became known as the "old friends hypothesis."
The old friends hypothesis now serves as the dominant model for how microbes work with our immune system. According to immunologists, kids need to be playing outside more and eating fresher, healthier foods. That's what helps their immune systems.
Getting sick all the time just hurts them.
Like many debunked ideas, hygiene theory and the myth of the bored immune system have become entrenched. A couple of years ago, hygiene theory got repackaged as "immunity debt." Now Americans, Canadians, and many Europeans think they need to get sick to stay healthy. The elites have absolutely no problem with that. It saves them countless billions to let everyone continue thinking they're better off letting diseases run around in their cells.
So:
Your immune system doesn't work like a muscle. It doesn't get stronger the more it's exposed to different harmful germs.
It doesn't need practice.
Phillipp Dettmer gives a vivid, accessible breakdown of the immune system in his 2021 book, Immune. You can show it to any internet troll who brags about their knowledge of the immune system. Dettmer destroys misinformation, explaining how your adaptive immune system actually works, as well as your gut microbiome.
As many articles and books explain, your body has an innate immune system that already knows how to fight off pathogens. You can help your immune system by feeding it the nutrients it needs. (That's an entirely different article.) You can protect your immune system from pollution, cigarette smoke, and other toxins. But genetics determines a lot of your immunological makeup. You can be born with an immune system that doesn't work the way it should, and it's not your fault.
You also have an adaptive immune system that stores chemical blueprints of pathogens in memory T and B cells. According to a 2024 article in Nature, these cells respond better to specific pathogens your body has seen before. Those blueprints last only as long as your memory cells. Sometimes those cells mature and stay around for years, even decades. If they don't, then your body won't remember the pathogen.
Your body doesn't need exposure to viruses.
Your immune system responds to harmful microbes and it can develop memories from previous infections. Most of the time, those memories apply specifically to that specific strain, variant, or clade of the virus. For example, immune memory to one type of adenovirus or rhinovirus doesn't confer automatic, guaranteed protection against all of them, and there are hundreds.
Sometimes, cross-protection can happen, but it's limited and hard to predict. When it does, like with the original smallpox vaccine, it's a big deal. If that were easy, we would already have a universal coronavirus vaccine and wouldn't have to update flu shots every year. Most of the time, getting sick with one virus doesn't train your body to respond any better to other viruses, especially when those viruses aren't related.
Victoria's state department of health puts it very plainly:
"The immune keeps a record of every microbe it has ever defeated, in types of white blood cells (B-lymphocytes and T-lymphocytes) known as memory cells. This means it can recognise and destroy the microbe quickly if it enters the body again, before it can multiply and make you feel sick. Some infections, like the flu and the common cold, have to be fought many times because so many different viruses or strains of the same type of virus can cause these illnesses. Catching a cold or flu from one virus does not give you immunity against the others."
You can add Covid to that list.
Some research has suggested that because catching one virus activates your innate immune system, your body's broad layers of defense offer brief protection against other pathogens. Viruses also compete with each other, meaning that infection from one virus can ward off others. That's called viral interference. Neither option means your immune system benefits from exposure to viruses.
We can't explain all of the human immune system in a single post, but here's the point. It's way more complicated than George Carlin explained. There's a lot more going on. It's not as simple as training your immune system by giving it practice.
That's not how it works.
It just sounds good.
No credible doctor or immunologist recommends building your immune system by welcoming viral and bacterial infections into your life. The costs far outweigh the benefits. Many viruses exact a price on your body and your immune system. Getting infected over and over again makes you weaker, not stronger. Vaccines don't work because they give your immune system practice. They work because they allow your body to develop a memory of a pathogen without all the risk.
Many viruses, like the flu, often leave lasting damage even when your immune system fights them off. Your immune system actually does some of that damage itself by attacking infected cells. In the wake of flu, your entire body including your immune system needs time to recover. During that stage, you're vulnerable to opportunistic infections. Other viruses, like measles and ebola, disable your immune system and even wipe out memory cells.
That's also what Covid does, among many other things.
You can't develop full immunity to viruses that evade, attack, and disable large parts of your immune system. Sometimes you can develop partial immunity, but the virus still invades and still does damage every time. Just because you can recover from these infections, that doesn't mean you're better off afterward.
Think of it like this:
Your body already knows how to heal its skin and bones. You don't have to teach it how to do that by cutting yourself or breaking your arm.
As it happens, many westerners also think bones grow back stronger after they're broken and scar tissue is tougher than normal skin.
That's also false.
Scar tissue remains functionally deficient in many ways compared to uninjured skin. Broken bones form a temporary calcium callus that's stronger than ordinary bone, but it's eventually replaced.
These misguided ideas fit in a culture obsessed with tough love, the idea that abusing someone somehow builds their character. And while it might make you interesting, it's certainly not "good" for you.
Sometimes I wonder what George Carlin would think about having one part of a standup special used to endorse bad science and eugenics. I'd like to think he would have a problem with it.
There's a lot you can do to boost your immune system.
Getting sick isn't one of them.
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mayearies · 1 year
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POCO LOCO FOR HOCO .. miles morales ⟡
󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠 “there she is! ganke! my dream girl.”
✦ synopsis miles had been crushing on you since freshman year. of course he couldnt confront you about it, even if he believed he was naturally smooth with the ladies. but today was the day.
✦ genre hugs n cuddles
✦ disclaimer none!
✦ note! the title isnt corny shut up
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“man, come on.” ganke sighed. miles wanted to ask you out to the homecoming dance since he really adored you. having a crush that didnt wind down for over a year was taking a toll.
miles paced against the marble floor of the hall as people passed by. he was a nervous mess, and ganke wasn’t helping much. “i knoww.. i know!” he crossed his arms, “come on, miles. it’s just homecoming.”
miles gave him a bothered stare and put his hands on his hips, “it isn’t ‘just homecoming,’ ganke! we’re talking about asking the girl i’ve liked for a year, two months, five days, and 2 hours to go to homecoming with me here! lighten up, would ya?”
“you’ve been pacing in the same hallway for the last 15 minutes. i’m getting dimmer and dimmer.” ganke slammed his hands on miles’ shoulders and gave him an inspired look. “you got this. you bought her flowers, tickets, the sign…”
it was a corny spiderman pun he got off the internet a few days before. i mean, it was an attempt. “… could have been better, but we were running short on time. so to sum it up—go get your girl.”
“…thanks man, that was really enli-”
“before someone else does. now go!” he shoved him into you, making you jump in surprise. he was really nervous and sweaty. he wouldn’t know what to do if you said no.
“oh! miles, right?” he was surprised you knew his name, he isnt that well known around visions. he was at one point, on like the first day of school of freshman year. “yep! t-that’s me.”
“i almost never see you around, though. and i know most people in here.” well, crap.
“i just… do a lot of online school! yeah, yeah, i get sick a lot,” he fake coughed while turning his head away, “weak immune systems, y’know?”
ganke facepalmed in the background and gestured miles to get it done and over with before their break ends. he swallowed shakily, “so, i wanted to ask you something.” you rose your eyebrow.
shuffled and pulled out the poster that he made last night, which had a pun writing of “just like spiderman saves the day, will you save a dance for me at hoco?" it looked like he spent a lot of time on it too. “so… will you..?”
“i…” you didnt plan on going to homecoming with anyone, actually. but it was too cute of a proposal “i’d love to.”
his face lit up of sunshine. ganke gave him a thumbs up from just over your shoulder. he hasn’t been this happy in a while. “seriously? like you mean it?” you nodded, “what made you ask me, though?”
“it was a choice.” you giggled a little. “same thing for your shoelaces?”
“you already know me so well, jeez!”
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@ mayearies , no swiping!
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ostrichmonkey-games · 3 months
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The Ostrichmonkey Hack
Hey, its out!
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Behold, the Basic Rules iteration of my personal NSR/OSR ruleset.
This ruleset came to life when I needed something to run an Into the Cess & Citadel campaign, and decided to take a stab at cobbling something together. It ended up being a mix of different N/OSR conventions I liked, plus some other twists to fit my own personal preferences.
Fundamentally, its a "roll under your attribute" system, and should be broadly compatible with your favorite NSR/OSR/minimalist rulesets and adventures. Made with fantasy-adventure stuff in mind, but with some bending, could probably be made to work with other genres.
So let's get into what's inside.
This first release covers the Basic Rules;
Classless character creation
Rolling the dice
Items
Characters have no defined class, and are made up of a Knack and a Domain. Knacks cover any special abilities and skill you might have, and are activated by spending attribute points (and typically circumvent rolling the dice - spend the points and do the thing!). Knacks are specifically inspired by how Whitehack's Wise class casts "miracles". Domains are broad fields of knowledge and understanding.
Like I said, rolling the dice involves rolling under your attribute score, but there is also a way to apply full/mixed successes to a roll. These rules also cover things like combat. Enemies are immune to damage unless you can target a weakness, meaning that the bulk of combat is about trying to discover and exploit an enemy's weakness.
For the items section of the ruleset, I ended up adapting some of the mechanics I'm developing for Stampede Wasteland, specifically the abstracted resources and money. Gear is also one of the main ways you can change your stats by altering everything from HP to your attributes.
The long term plan for this ruleset is to continuously update and tinker with it, adding in extra subsystems, mechanics, and whatever else I feel is interesting at the time. There's no set schedule for this, so expect updates eventually and whenever.
Right now, you can pick up a text only version of the Basic Rules, which will always remain free (scroll down to the bottom of the page to find the demo files, including character sheet), and then the paid files will be getting the major updates.
First planned update is to finish up the Archetype rules to introduce a class system that can replace or be used alongside knacks. So look for that down the road.
Anyways, go check it out!
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himimosa · 1 year
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when they are sick
taking care of bsd men when they are sick...
fyodor, kunikida, dazai
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Fyodor Dostoevsky
He is the person who walks around sick for almost half of a year, with a lot of sniffs and sneezes. Somehow he can manage to catch a cold even in summer. You say it is because he has an awful immune system
He already has anemia that makes his body weak. And if a bad cold is added too, he becomes almost pathetic...
If you ask him, he says he is used to being sick most of the time, but that is not true. He tried to take pills a few times for his anemia but they were useless (no, i am not self-projecting here, nope)
Most of the time, he can pull to do his work even if that means carrying tissues with him everywhere.
He hates the times when he got extra bad cold, it causes delays in his work. He is not someone who will accept to see a doctor even though his fever runs high. So if you're going to accompany him, you have to use more conventional ways...
You know hot soup, warm shower, herbal teas... He will act like you are being too "histrionic" and he is doing fine, but he will appreciate it secretly...
You put a mix of mint and linden leaves into the french press, added a tiny piece of ginger, and then poured hot water. After you waited for a while you poured out the liquid through a strainer. You had chosen your fav “I like mugs because they’re very comfortable in your hand” mug for it.
You entered the room where Fyodor was laying, he was trying to read a book but he was coughing constantly. You pulled the book from his hands: "Please drink this and rest a little. I am sure your book can wait for you." you scolded him lightly. He didn't argue with you, which was a sign that he was really feeling bad.
He took the mug, and looked at the writing on it "I don't understand why this is written on a mug" You chuckled "Because either you don't have a sense of humor or you have never heard Demi Lovato before dear.."
"Is it really an inadequacy of me that I don't get the references from the pop culture that was brought to people by no one but-"
"Darling darling..." you interrupted him "You can talk for hours about fatuity of popularism later, but I am begging you, drink this tea. now..."
He was annoyed by your interruption but he complied with your request. He sniffed before taking a sip. Then his face turned into a disgusted expression.
"Did you put ginger in this tea?.."
Kunikida Doppo
This poor man will go through the 5 stages of grief in order...
Denial: "I am not sick, I just got shivers for a second! This doesn't mean anything!" "No, I don't look awful or tired, I am fine!"
Anger: "This is because of that Dazai asshole! That nasty bastard sneezed right into my face and contaminated me with his viruses!"
Bargaining: "...Okay some inconveniences might happen but it's not that bad", "I will drink this tea and get better in an instant. No, I don't need a break, I will be fine"
Depression: "... What will happen to the agency if I use two days off?" "...my program... I will be left behind on it.."
Acceptance: "..President, may I use two days off to recover?"
He knew it is natural to get sick for people... But it wasn't written in his ideals book... He must add some notes about this too...
All he wants is quickly recover and get back to his responsibilities. So he will see a doctor, he will take his medicines, will drink all the herbal tea he needs to drink...You don't have to do much indeed, he is someone who takes care of himself well. But this doesn't mean he won't appreciate it if you do some thoughtful things for him...
"I'm home" you called to him when you entered the house with your keys. You dropped the bags that you got from the grocery store to the kitchen. You could organize them later, you went right ahead to the room where Kunikida was resting. He tried to get up to greet you but you acted quicker and hugged him while he was still sitting. He froze for only one second, then slowly wrapped his arms around you
"Y/N... You shouldn't be this close to me, you will get sick too..." He murmured but didn't push you away too. You shrugged your shoulders while still hugging him "Then I will use a day off with my sick boyfriend, that doesn't seem so bad to me" Kunikida chuckled lightly "If we both use a day off at the same time, I can't imagine what sort of chaos would the agency have..." Then he slowly pulled himself back to see you eye-to-eye and started to ask you questions... How is the agency going? Were budget calculations accurate? Have you taken new cases? What kind of ruckus did Dazai cause when he wasn't around to lecture him? How many calls did you get for his suicide attempts this time?
You told him about how you took care of everything on his behalf with everyone's help (well mostly with the help of Atsushi, Kyoka, Kenji, and Tanizaki siblings... basically with minors of Ada...) But even Dazai wasn't acting so "wild". He was whining about how the agency became too quiet and no-fun without Kunikida and all the joy he got from work vanished without Kunikida...
"Everyone can't wait to get you better love they are planning to visit you tomorrow night," you told with a smile. Kunikida coughed and covered his mouth, then mumbled: "I see..." You knew he did it to hide the light blush and embarrassed smile on his face, but you didn't tease him for it. After all, he was deserving it all...
Dazai Osamu
Here comes the drama king...
First, let's be honest here... He is treating his own body like shit... We saw him in his flat, this man doesn't even cook for himself. He literally feeds with sake and canned crabs only... Despite that, he doesn't get sick easily. He has the durability of a cockroach (i swear i love him, these insults are with affection)
He is the kind of person who doesn't get sick even there is a cold season and everyone around him got ill. He catches the sickness not more once than a year, but when he gets ill, it is always the most unexpected time.
Once, while he was still in the port mafia he got a very bad cold right before an important mission. When Mori saw his situation, he had to cancel the mission.
Because this man acts like he is on the deathbed when he is sick...
"So I made some research on the internet... With all these symptoms on me; either I have some kind of chronic illness, or brain tumor.. which leads us to the conclusion that I have only 2 weeks to live..." "Or, you have a cold, you shithead.." "Do not act like you are a doctor now Chuuya, or I will throw up to your precious hat..."
He didn't change much... The only difference is now he is being your boyfriend, you have to take care of this man like you are taking care of a child. He will act like he is much worse than he is to get all your affection and care... You will need a lot of patience, to be honest...
"Ew, there is no way I would drink that crap!" You thought for a millisecond to throw the bowl of soup to his face but you didn't have the heart for it. Even though he was acting like a spoiled brat, he was miserable right now. You knew he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning, you had to convince him to put something in his stomach no matter what...
"Why don't you want to drink this babe?" you asked with your sweetest tone. Dazai shrugged his shoulders "It smells bad, makes me want to puke..." You tried again "What if you push yourself? Just a little? I know it doesn't look appetizing but this soup is too good for cold, you will feel better after your drink I promise..."
Dazai looked at you with defeated eyes, he couldn't resist any longer "..fine then"
With excitement, you took one spoon from the bowl and carefully held it towards his mouth, you were cupping the other hand under the spoon to keep it from spilling. Dazai slowly opened his mouth, only to make a sour face "It is too hot!"
"Sorry baby, my bad" you apologized and started to cool it down by stirring it with the spoon. You took another spoon from the bowl, this time you blew a little air before giving it to Dazai. When he started to make some teasing comments on you would be a great nanny, you decided he was already getting better. You tried to get up after he finished his soup, but Dazai held you weakly by his wrist. "You won't leave me alone on my deathbed, right?" You rolled your eyes: "You're an idiot, you know that right?" He smirked lightly "But I am your idiot, and you still love me..." You couldn't control your smile this time. You gently removed the hair on his forehead and gave him a little peck "Yeap... Only mine to love..."
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well, i couldn't still get over from this week's episode and couldnt't write anything new. this was on the drafts and not proof readed, but i will still share it. fyodor stans can use it as a denial of ep 11 :')
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kingconia · 1 year
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hi! are your requests open (feel free to delete this ask if not)? i love ur writing style! i’d like to request hcs of leona with an s/o who gets sick easily.. like if it’s cold, they’re sick but if it’s hot they’re also sick. my immune system is weak irl and i’d love to see this written (only if u can tho!!)
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR WITH S/O, WHO GETS SICK EASILY
— Leona grew up around beastmen, and other specific creatures, who rarely get sick, thanks to their strong immune system. So, when Leona notices how often you catch cold, he is absolutely confused;
— He is not even sure how it happens? Leona always makes sure to wrap some additional clothes around you, when it is chilly outside, and yet, you wake up with temperature as you cough your lungs out;
— You explain that it is natural for you, something that had been happening in your previous life too, and that yours immune system is that weak. Leona still having a hard time to proceed this fact;
— When winter ends, bringing back a warm and familiar to him weather, Leona relaxes. Surely, you are not going to fall sick in the spring, right? Right?!
— He is wrong. And desperate;
— The fact that you yourself don't even pay attention to your state, irritates him even more. What do you mean that's normal?! You can die! (He is such a drama queen, but isn't that sweet?);
— When Leona brings you to the Afterglow Savanna, thinking that there you will be safe here from any kind of diseases, and you still manage to lay down with temperature, Leona gives up;
— Or not really? He still thinks that, perhaps, there is some potion to fix the problem! And he is sure about being able to figure it out, sooner or later;
— But for now, Leona can take care of you! His laziness means nothing, when it is a question of your health;
— He can easily feed you, bring you medicine, and generally sit with you, when you are feeling weaker than usual. And if you sleep a lot, when you are ill, it is a perfect bonus!
— Leona will never admit, but he secretly likes being able to pamper you so much. A proud lion taking care of his great lioness!
”...Leona?”
”Hm-m?”
You open your mouth, but close it again, when you meet these emerald eyes of his.
There is a question you are meaning to ask him for a while, but all your attempts fail. Either because you get too nervous about to this topic, or because Leona distracts you effectively.
”Well?” He raises his eyebrows. ”Spit it out, herbivore.”
You scrunch your nose, watching him to put more meat on your plate. Leona seriously needs to stop calling ’herbivore’, when all he does it feeds you with meat...
”Don't you get annoyed?”
”I am always annoyed,” he chuckles with unhidden amusement.
”No way,” you roll your eyes. ”I mean... Don't you get annoyed that I am sick all the time? It is not fun to have me around, you know.”
Well, it is not like you are chained to the bed on the daily basis, of course! There are always weeks, when you have no troubles in paradise at all; much like right now. Yet, it still bothers you.
”And I am the fun to have around?” Leona huffs.
You shrug.
It is Leona. He might have a specific character—and a streak for angry issues—but deep inside, he is truly nice and comforting person. And, funny. Especially, when he mocks the headmaster.
“Oi, herbivore, are you serious?” He blinks, a genuine surprise paints his face for a second, before he sighs. ”Where it comes from?”
Well, it is only natural to be plugged by these thoughts. That is how things worked in your previous worlds, after all. You were troublesome in eyes of others—and your own—and even kind jokes from your friends about this matter, made you feel bad about yourself.
”Listen,” Leona frowns. ”I am not annoyed. What about I should be annoyed? It is how your immune system works, that's it.”
”Yeah, but,” you gesture vaguely in the air, ”I am not really a sport person, so we can't share some quality time together. And I even caught the fly, when we were in Savanna. Which was extremely embarrassing, by the way. And—”
Leona catches your hand in his, letting out another exasperated sigh. You instantly cut your speech, carefully starting to study an expression on his face.
”Tch. First of all, we have chess matches—that what am I calling a good quality time,” of course, he does. He wins all the time. ”Secondly... Yeah, of course, I was freaking out, when you got sick in Savanna—I mean, had you seen the fucking weather here?—but, you gave me a mighty excuse not only to skip meetings with Falena, but also sit without Cheka for a while. If it wasn't fun for you, sorry. But it was the best holidays in my life.”
You scoff.
Prince Cheka wasn't allowed in your chambers back then, his mother being worried that he might catch cold from you. And Leona seemed indeed happy by that...
”You are such an ass—”
”I am acting irritated sometimes,” he continues, ignoring your remark. ”But, I am not mad at you. If anything, I am just frustrated about how useless I am.”
Ah, what a sweetheart.
Your faces softens instantly, and your hand grips his tightly.
”...I love you.”
”Yeah, just no need to thank me. You are a perfect justification for missing classes, you know?”
...Nevermind.
”Leona, fuck o... Achoo!”
His lips curl in a smirk.
”Oh, seems like I am about to miss housewardens' meeting. Again. What a shame.”
You hate Leona sometimes. You really do.
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sociopathicartist · 3 months
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hiii!! i really love and appreciate your work! i was wondering if you could do more more (classic) sans x reader (romantic) headcanons? whenever you get the chance of course! thank you :)
hi! thanks for requesting, i had fun writing these:3
Classic!Sans x Reader romantic headcanons.
I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about how physically affectionate he’d be, but It’s something I think is great to talk about with Sans.
After a bad day, no matter the reason, the first thing he wants to do is just be wrapped up in your arms.
The touch- your touch- is a big comfort and like of his, so if you don’t live together yet and he’s had a bad day at work or he’s just dealing with life, poof! He’s there in your house. There’s not even time to react before he’s practically buried himself in your embrace, nuzzling his face into your neck and wrapping his arms snugly around your figure to bask in the fact that he just has you. That everything is okay now. It’s so difficult for him sometimes to grasp the idea that you’re not going anywhere, and you won't leave him despite anything, even if it’s something that neither of you has control over. He’s been told by people to enjoy your little honeymoon phase while it lasts, that one day he’ll take it all for granted and you’ll both be sick of each other, but after a bad day where he can just cling onto you and take in your scent, your looks, your voice, the feeling of your fingers running along his skull and spine, he doesn’t see how he’ll ever get used to it. Sometimes he’ll sit there for hours just wrapped in your arms without saying anything until he’s finally ready to talk about his bad day, and other times he’ll just end up passing out and waking up 8 hours later confused about when he even fell asleep.
-
Since monsters don’t get sick until they are dying, you can imagine the fear whenever he sees you sick for the first time.
The concept of germs and infections is interesting to Sans. It’s so crazy to him how one little germ can just tear up a whole human immune system. Monsters don’t have this problem unless they’re dying, so hearing about other people getting sick was always so interesting for him to learn more about. Their symptoms, how it affects them, and how quickly they can recover.
Then he came home one day and saw you sick in bed, curled up under the plush covers feeling weak and tired.
He had no interest in germs and infections after that.
His obvious and immediate focus would be on you, rushing over to the bed and carefully pulling the covers back from over your head, and brushing some hair out of your face to see you.
‘baby, are you okay?’
‘you didn’t tell me you were sick. i would have come over sooner.’
‘i told you to take my jacket when we went out last night. are you sick from being cold outside?’
Even though he took care in raising Papyrus and has had experience in most caretaking situations, he had never dealt with a sick person before, he hadn’t even been to a monster funeral and seen them sick on their deathbed. Toriel had mentioned Frisk getting sick recently, right? What did she do?
So, his next focus will be on making you soup- or getting it from the store or his brother if his own attempts fail. (he hasn’t cooked in a while, give him a break). God forbid your throat start hurting too. He’s making sure you have enough blankets, a warm rag on your forehead, and despite being a bit worried you’ll throw up on him if he gets too cozy, he’s more than happy to give you small kisses and cuddles until you’re asleep or feeling better.
-
He talks about you to everyone.
It gets a bit nagging to hear after a while, especially for his coworkers who hear about you all the time.
‘oh my god, look at what y/n just sent me.’
‘check out this photo i took while we were out yesterday. aren’t they so pretty?’
‘that’s y/n’s favorite too.’
Everyone is aware both of you are together, there’s no avoiding the topic. How could he not talk about you to everyone? You’re so cool, amazing, and kind, there’s no reason he shouldn’t talk about you. A lot of people who you aren’t even aware exist know all about you. Sometimes whenever he takes you out to Grillbys or whenever you pop in to surprise him at his work with a homemade lunch, you can hear the snickers from his coworkers or friends whenever they realize who you are, practically famous to them now. He’s not sure if he’s talked about someone this much, but then again, dating you has had a positive influence on his behaviors and self-care, so maybe it’s not so bad that he never shuts up about you.
-
He can be avoidant to sentimental topics and conversations.
It’s not the best trait to be shut off about your feelings. Sans is very aware of that, and he’s trying his best to work on it now that he has you in the mix and relationships are built on a lot of sentimental topics and conversations.
Sans just has a hard time opening up about… anything, really. Most things people know about him are because they’ve seen him do it or they’ve heard something from someone else, almost never because he’s outright said something about himself. It was a hard adjustment to make whenever he started dating you, and still, even months or years later into your relationship, he finds himself getting nervous or choked up at trying to explain his bad day and why he’s feeling upset, or sharing past trauma with you that he wants you to know about, but it’s just suddenly very difficult to find the words, and it’s just suddenly very difficult to even speak. He might hit you with the classic subject change, or sudden diversion, but it never really works. Not whenever you know him so well and can easily see what he’s doing.
This takes a toll whenever it comes to arguments, big or small (which happen to everyone, no matter how healthy your relationship is). He really has to do his best to not just teleport away somewhere and ignore the ongoing situation like he used to do with 90% of his problems back underground, or really just before he met you. His stubborn personality also doesn’t help with any sort of arguments, but that doesn’t mean he’s manipulative with you (unless he’s cheating while you’re playing a card game together) and he doesn’t hesitate to call out one of your problems or apologize for his, it just makes it even harder for him to actually voice that he’s upset, or worried, or sad.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t try, though. He does, and even though he still finds it difficult to share something with you sometimes, he does his best to talk with you about it anyways, and hold you close to him after any arguments.
-
Petnames. He never thought he’d be a pet name guy, even in the crazy future where he started dating someone (which ends up happening, surprise surprise), but he guessed he should have seen it coming. He does use nicknames for most relevant people in his life, even if a simple shortened version of their name, ‘bro’, ‘buddy’, ‘tor’, ‘kiddo’, so it makes sense for him to naturally pick up on some for you too. Dating just unlocked a whole new vault of petnames he gets to use.
Babe would be a classic that he likes, he’s a simple guy after all. He likes how easy and thoughtless it is, and he nearly substitutes it for your name all together with how frequently he uses babe on you in his sentences.
‘no, babe, i’m serious.’
‘Serious? I thought you were Sans?”
Baby is also an easy one that he likes, but he only really uses it whenever one of you is upset, or when you’re sick or something of the sorts. He doesn’t like calling you Baby around other people. Maybe that’s because it feels more intimate and close to him for some reason, but it just rings as a more personal nickname.
‘baby, what happened?’
‘oh shit, baby, don’t cry.’
‘are you okay? c’mere, baby.’
There’s a few petnames that he likes using for more romantic settings too, whether that’s a date or a more intimate setting, and he just doesn’t feel like baby or babe sits right in the moment. Once again, he’s a fan of the more classic petnames following EX: Sweet-stuff, beautiful, pretty/handsome. All of the petnames he uses on you coordinate to their setting, and if he’s being honest, he doesn’t even realize he does that. It’s just whether or not the petname feels natural rolling off his tongue to you in the moment, but those are the select main ones he uses for different times or settings.
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