#my household included as in my entire family are all religious

[look-at-the-soul]

Behind the scenes- Peaky Blinders (Part 1)

Cillian Murphy x reader

BTS master list

Request

A/N: I wrote this to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the series… right on time before this day ends! I had to cut it into two parts because it got a bit longer… there are no words enough to thank each of you (the peaky fam) for what writing and reading has given me. This little project is really really special and I want to thank @notyour-valentine for tagging me in this request a while ago, thank you for your generosity Val, there’s a little gift between the lines for you. And for the help you provided for another part related to horses♥️

But also @heidimoreton for creating this gorgeous moodboard to go with this story! And my dear @holacia3 for the help you gave me too about horses and @forbidden-forest-witch this is for your belated birthday and the little surprise♥️

Word count: 4,745

✨ Summary: Join us at the stables as Cillian gets riding lessons for his iconic role as Tommy Shelby in the series Peaky Blinders. He came to learn all about horses, but he ended up falling in love not only with them.

During his career, he had played several roles, learned how to walk on heels for Breakfast on Pluto, about space for Sunshine, even played a part in a film that was close to home in “The wind that shakes the Barley” about the historic war between Northern Ireland and Great Britain.

Acting was such a treat to calm -in a way- his hyperactive mind.

He preferred to not answer what he wasn’t willing to do for a role, because he’d probably do anything.

That included riding horses. Which, in reality he wasn’t a bit familiar with.

He had never even been close to one in his life. His driving skills were so poor, how would he fucking manage an animal that big?

Yet, here he was waiting in the living room of the horses sanctuary located in a remote place of England he had never heard before.

The sighting was breathtaking, the air so pure, no city noise, it was quiet, calm, everything he was looking for before the storm started, he had never been on a series before and the mental challenges of this character was the biggest of his entire career, he had never met a man as complex and with so many layers as this Tommy Shelby he had spent weeks reading, the internal turmoil this man has been through after the war wasn’t his only problem, his background included a household with lots of family problems, taking care of his younger siblings while stepping up to build an ilegal business and endless enemies that he would encounter along the way.

Cillian was greeted by the teenager behind the desk and asked him to wait because the trainer hadn’t show up that morning and she rushed to call someone else on a radio.

“Someone will be here shortly, can I offer you something to drink in the mean time sir?”

Cillian chuckled at the sir part.

“Water would be great.”

Turning around, he was able to see through the window, finding a woman galloping at speed and coming down from the horse without really stopping with just a jump.

Seconds later, the same woman entered the reception out of breath and walked straight to the girl.

“Your horse trainer called in sick again.” Cillian heard the teenager say.

“Thanks Willow, can you help me reschedule the appointment with the bank?”

“Sure, Y/N. Will you also reschedule his sessions?” The teenager pointed at him.

Until now, Cillian had only being able to watch her from behind; petite but lean frame, she had black tight pants, riding boots and a cream jumper on, her hair up in a high pony tail cascading on her upper back.

But when she turned around, Cillian was lost for words as the most angelic face met him.

And he wasn’t one bit religious.

“Mr. Murphy nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.” She offered her hand firmly along with a smile. “Our trainer isn’t available today, please accept my apologies could we reschedule?”

He stammered, not knowing what to say.

“Y/N, you could show him how to ride too.” The teenager proposed.

“I thought you’d be on your way to school young lady.” Y/N raised her eyebrows at the girl. God she was just like her aunt.

“Whatever, I was just saying.” Getting her bag, she stormed from behind the counter. “Should I tell aunt Val dinner is cancelled?”

Oh no.

She knew that look, it was the same her aunt would give her.

“Honey don’t tell your aunt anything.”

“Bye auntie! Bye Mr. Murphy!”

“Sorry, so? I think one of our trainers comes back from a horse fair on Saturday if that day works for you.”

Leaning on the counter, Cillian decided to take a risk. There was something about her.

“I’m in a bit of a hurry, would it give you a lot of trouble if you show me?”

“Not at all! I just thought you wanted a professional trainer that’s all.”

He smiled and for an instant, Y/N’s heart skipped a beat.

“Right, well… follow me this way.” She lead the way outside of the property. “Is this some kind of bucket list thing?” Mondays were usually quiet days at the sanctuary, nothing like the weekends when they were usually packed.

Cillian walked next to her, hands inside his pockets. Unsure about how much to reveal.

“I need to learn how to ride.” He chuckled a little, the script was phenomenal and he was extremely excited about it, but until now he wasn’t able to talk about the project.

Y/N guided him towards the stables, he had seen a few in movies or the telly, but being there in person, it was another story, it was huge and his heart got too excited as his eyes found the horses.

“Do you’ve a particular preference for a horse?” Y/N asked curious about the hermetic man before her.

“Racehorses.”

Y/N turned around slowly to look at him. There was a subtle accent different from his voice, but she brushed it away.

Cillian tried to clear his throat, aware of the voice tone he just used, he was still practicing the accent and mannerisms he had been building over this new character.

“Okay… I can’t let you ride a racehorse if you’ve never been on a horse.”

“Why not?”

“Look, horses are just like people, they’ve their own temper, feelings, the know when we’re scared or aggressive, we don’t mess around them… I’d suggest you start with a gentle horse first.”

“You seem to know a lot about them.” Cillian observed the way she was caressing one as they walked.

“I grew up in this place, my grandparents started this sanctuary, my mother was the only child and she kept the family business, then it was my time to take over.”

“How long have you been running this place?”

“Since I was eighteen.” Y/N admitted. “This is Sally, she’s a good girl.”

Cillian observed Y/N’s moves, the way she approached the horses. And she showed him the right way to caress the animal.

“Can I touch her?”

Bringing the hose to her by the muzzle, she giggled. “She says you can.”

“What else does she says?” It felt soft and he noticed the way Sally was moving her ears.

“That she doesn’t believe you, horses are one of the most intelligent creatures.”

Cillian chuckled, accepting the snack Y/N brought over. He was fascinated by the level of trust she showed with each animal, the way each of them reacted, it was so true, as he was noticing little differences in each horse as their own personalities, it was amazing and as Y/N shared more details about the place with him, he found it was impossible to keep lying to her, she had such an energy that was so inviting, giving him a lot of comfort.

Y/N introduced him to all of the horses, caressing each of them, mentioning little details about their personalities or a couple of qualities. She seemed to know them all well and Cillian was marveled by the way each horse behaved with her. Y/N spent a good amount of time explaining him some of the basics.

“I think I learned how to ride a horse before I started walking, all my childhood I was eager to get out of school to come home and run straight to the stables. They’ve been with me through my worst moments, they own such a healing power humans do not understand about, they’re pure creatures… sorry, I’m boring you.” She mumbled feeling her cheeks burn.

“Not at all, I find it fascinating… the way you talk to them and about them, it’s magical.”

“Y/N! The foal is coming early!”

Y/N’s face went blank they still had a few week left. Turning to Cillian she apologized, but she needed to be there, so she asked Jonah the guy how took care of the saddles to show Cillian around while she was gone, but it could be hours.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, I’m staying at the small bed and breakfast that’s close.”

And he saw her run out of the stables, Jonah explained to him they built a small facility to those special occasions. The boy around his early twenties showed him the racks full of saddles and other equipment they used, he was surprised by all of the things they had around to use with the horses.

It was until around nine o clock when Y/N came down from the stairs, after taking a long bath, she had been so tired helping in the delivery that she just wanted a cup of tea and head off to sleep.

“Jesus, what are you doing here?” She gasped closing the robe tight against her body, she wasn’t expecting to find Cillian sitting by the window.

“Well I asked if I could use the books you’ve here and they said it was alright.” He smiled gently pointing at the pile of books he placed on the table next to him, an empty cup in the corner.

“You’ve been here reading since I left the stables?”

He chuckled a little, not aware of the track of time, he had been reading. “Yes, they’re fascinating.” He debated himself whether revealing her the truth or not.

Y/N threw him a puzzled look.

“You live here? Upstairs I mean.”

She nodded. “Yes, the house was so big so I turned the first floor into the main offices, the kitchen is in the back if you need anything.”

“Thanks, I’ve been looking around at the portraits, hope you don’t mind.”

Just as Y/N was about to answer him, a loud thunder echoed through the property. it was so loud it felt like the house would come crashing down. The sound of droplets of rain against the windows followed right after.

“I’d love to stay and talk about the books with you but I really need to go.” Y/N explained just as she rushed upstairs to get changed when she came back down a few minutes later, he noticed her hair was pulled back in a loose braid, cascading down her back.

“Wait.” Cillian stopped her placing his hand on her arm, “can I come with you?”

She was unsure because of his lack of knowledge, but Cillian seemed to read her mind. “I promise to stay back.”

“Okay.” She nodded and offered a rain jacket from the small closet next to the door.

“Is everything alright?” Cillian asked her with curiosity after getting in her vehicle to protect themselves from the heavy rain.

“It’s one of my horses… he gets pretty scary of this terrible weather.” She explained absently, holding the steering wheel with such force that made her knuckles turn white.

“Tell me about him.”

“Thunder is… special, he was born on a night like this and I know doing this sounds ridiculous, but how can I stand there and do nothing?”

She looked at him for an instant, all of her feelings right there in the surface for him to see and read. Cillian nodded, fighting against the lump on his throat that formed after detecting the passion in her voice.

In silence, Cillian followed Y/N inside the barn rushing immediately towards Thunder.

“There it is my good boy.” She started caressing the horse by the muzzle, gently. The horse was extremely agitated. “Everything’s fine… just a loud noise, you know that.”

Cillian found himself staring at her, unable to look anywhere else, he was under some kind of spell.

“Shh, shh.” She held the horse by the curb rein, -he now knew some of the horsemanship-. “Listen to me, Thunder.”

Marveled by her tactics and control over the horse, he couldn’t help it but start whispering a Romany poem he recently learned as part of the script for the series he was working in. Locking eyes with the beautiful animal, he felt like time stood still, it was as if the horse was going through every layer of his mind and soul and the rest of his surroundings faded away. Eventually, the horse started to give in, coming to a calm state.

“What did you do?” Y/N asked squinting her eyes. “It takes me ages to calm him down.”

Cillian shook his head, realizing the deep connection with the horse was gone but it was impossible to explain that it wasn’t him… it was his character’s nature. It was in his blood.

“It’s a poem.” He admitted quietly noticing the storm was coming down.

“In a foreign langua-?

“Thunder!” A boy stormed through the barn directly in the horse’s corral.

“Arlo what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“I thought Thunder might get scared.” He argued, poking his head in to make sure the horse was safe.

“You’re not allowed to come here by yourself in the middle of the night.” She argued.

“But Muuuum!”

Cillian’s heart skipped a beat.

“No buts, Thunder is perfectly fine.” She transformed into a completely different person. “We’re going back to the house right now.”

“Who are you?” Arlo gave him a look, a serious one.

“I’m showing him to ride a horse, focus… on the truck now.” She then turned to look at Cillian. “The only road that could take you to the b&b is probably stuck, it would be better if you stay at the house tonight.”

He wanted to argue, but judging by the intensity of the storm, she was right.

“Sure, thanks.”

She touched the horse’s nose a few times before closing the gate. Cillian followed them in silence, still moved about what just happened with that horse.

“How long are you staying?” Arlo asked Cillian from the back seat.

“A week.”

“What’s your favorite horse?” The kid asked.

“Arlo, it’s late and Mr. Murphy is probably tired.”

He shook his head. “Just Cillian please and it’s fine.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she saw Cillian giving her a wink and tilting his head.

Parking the truck, Arlo flew inside the house, leaving a wet patch on the floor of his footsteps.

“Boots and bed.” Y/N instructed with a firm voice. “You can stop by tomorrow morning to meet the new Filly.” Cillian saw her kissing the top of the kid’s head and the hint of a smile spread on her lips. “Sorry about that.”

“He looks like you. Must be awesome to have them help you around.”

Y/N made a face. “Them?”

“Arlo and his father?” Cillian asked in confusion.

And now she was moving her head from left to right. “There’s no father around, he left us after learning I was pregnant.” Y/N looked towards the stairs where her son disappeared a few minutes ago, shuddering. “Can I offer you some tea? It’s cold.”

“‘M sorry… shouldn’t have assumed.”

Brushing off the topic, she started the kettle and Cillian went back to feel extremely comfortable around her. And considering the personal revelation she just shared with him, he needed to be honest in return.

“I’m working in a project that involves horses, but like such a real passion for horses.” He ended up confessing after meeting all of them.

“That sounds interesting.” She admitted but decided to not ask further.

“Yeah,” Cillian ran his hand over the back of his neck. “I need you to show me everything about them… please. I’m portraying a character that involves a man that used to be in love with them, horses are a huge part of this man’s soul, it’s for a BBC series.”

Y/N turned with two cups in her hands, her mind trying to register his words.

“I-I’m an actor.” Cillian revealed after an instant. “But I need you to keep this between us because I signed a confidentiality contract and I could get kicked out of it.”

“Goodness I’m sorry, thought I had seen you before but I couldn’t remember where,” an adorable blush turned her cheeks pink, “I hope you understand I don’t go to the movies a lot, my whole life is this sanctuary and my son…”

“Please don’t even say it.” He chuckled. “I actually prefer it that way.”

“I think the last movie I saw you in…” Y/N stared into the ceiling thinking about it, “was it Inception? Probably.”

Cillian smiled and he lighted the entire kitchen with it.

“Yeah.”

Pouring both cups, Cillian stood up to take them from her hands.

“So uhhm… this project? Why exactly do you need a racehorse?” She asked cautiously.

“My character is a bookmaker, he arranges races… it’s placed in 1919 so he moved around horses after World War I. It’s quite interesting.” Cillian raised his eyebrows in appreciation for the tea after taking a sip. “Fascinating actually.”

“Definitely sounds intriguing.” Y/N admitted leaning her elbow on the table.

“As soon as I started reading the script I was attracted into his world.” He smiled, revering when he got the call for the audition. “Sorry I don’t want to keep you up.”

“It’s fine, I’ll stay for a little longer checking some paperwork.” Her thumb rubbed a chip in her mug. “So would it be okay if I show you everything? From brushing the horse, how to hook the saddle? The way you should approach one?”

Leaning back, Cillian looked at her with his head tilted to the side. “I actually need to learn how to ride bareback.”

****

The following morning, Y/N was preparing the lunchbox for Arlo when a deep voice startled her.

“Good morning.” Cillian saw the little jump she did.

“Hello, did you sleep well?”

Nodding, he smiled in her direction. “Thank you for the accommodation, much better than the B&B.”

“So! I just came here to check the new-” Val announced from the front door just as Arlo stormed into the kitchen but she cut herself when she spotted a man in the corner, “horse, but I see you’re busy.” She replied looking at you. “Just wanted to say it’s highly approved by the comitee. Hello, I’m Val.” She greeted Cillian.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Val…” Y/N added as a warning, knowing how Val was.

“What? It fills all the requirements… great breed, elegance, experience.” She made an OK with her hand.

“Val.” Y/N repeated. “Arlo go or you will be late for school.” She kissed the kid goodbye and felt Val’s eyes on her.

Of course her best friend wasn’t talking about a goddamn horse!

“How about I see you later today? I’m about to get a bit busy.” Y/N asked, she needed to get her friend out of her house before she could keep talking about Cillian as if he was a horse. “We’ve a riding lesson about to start.”

“Have a great time at the barn!” Val gave her a look before leaving them.

After a quick breakfast, Y/N gave him a pair of high boots and introduced Cillian to the different tools they used with the horses.

“To check the heel, you have to take your horse from here.” Y/N showed him how to carefully bend the horse’s leg. “It’s important to let them know that you know what you’re doing. They’re very sensitive.”

Cillian watched intensely every single move she made, how her tone was soft while she had a firm grip on the horse. He couldn’t get to move his eyes from her as she used one of the many tools to brush the mare’s neck.

“They also love to get petted.” Y/N added as she noticed Cillian got quiet. “Would you like to give it a try?”

Finally snapping from his trance, he took the brush and tentatively started to brush the mare.

“She likes that.” Y/N encouraged him noticing the little noises Goldie was making.

“She’s beautiful.” Cillian complimented.

“One of the most gentle ones I’ve seen so far.” Y/N caressed the mare from the other side, giving Cillian space to get comfortable around Goldie. “Her owner, Cia is a great friend and client.”

“And I assume the name is because of the color?” Cillian asked with interest, toiling the soft texture of Goldie.

Y/N nodded profusely.

“She’s recovering from an injury so well, now just needs some rest and she’ll be able to go back on the road in no time.” Cillian noticed the way she whispered to Goldie, looking straight into her eyes.

And she showed him how to get Goldie saddled, adding important tips and tricks to do it right, how to do it properly. It took him a few tries to do it right, but Y/N was so patient, she even admitted that was a virtue she had to thank the horses for.

“Y/N I’m sorry for not coming yesterday.” A woman approached them. “They said I could find you here.”

“Brie don’t worry, is everything alright?” Y/N asked while she eyed Cillian from the corner of her eyes.

That’s when Bries’s eyes sparkled. “Yes! Oh! Y/N… I’ve something to tell you.”

Cillian didn’t even look at them, he was totally engrossed on Goldie, all of his senses on brushing the mare, carefully to not stand behind her just like Y/N instructed. She had been answering all of his endless questions.

“Brie what’s happening?” Y/N looked at her horse trainer with curiosity.

“I just found out I’m pregnant!” She explained with excitement, unable to contain it or hide it any longer.

Y/N pulled her for a tight hug. “Brie, congratulations! This is the best news.”

There were tears in her eyes. “That’s why I couldn’t make it yesterday, I got morning sick and stayed in bed all day. But everything is perfect!”

Y/N couldn’t be happier, by the corner of his eyes, Cillian noticed the genuine smile on her face.

“Okay, so how about you go into the office and help me with the paperwork? I will be in charge for the training from now.” Y/N wrapped her arm around Brie and gave her a tender squeeze. “Made some sandwiches, help yourself.”

“That’s delicious! I brought some chips because, well cravings!” She chuckled giving Cillian a quick glance, it had been ages ago when Y/N went to the barn to give riding lessons.

Turning again towards Cillian, Y/N noticed how good he was, and he learned fast. “You’re a natural.”

Cillian smiled pleased with his improvement, he couldn’t wait to get on the horse.

“Got the best trainer to teach me.”

As time was flying, she noticed it was almost time for Arlo to come back home. “Look, how about we take a break? I need to make lunch for my son but you can join us if you want.”

“I don’t want to disturb your dynamic, Y/N.”

Y/N shook her head. “Non of that.” After caressing the horse’s ears, she added; “come have lunch with us.”

Leaving the boots right next to Y/N’s, Cillian changed into his shoes as they walked into the kitchen, finding Brie with her back at them.

“I hope you don’t mind, I made some pasta.” She smiled at them. “Enough for all of us.”

“Brie you’re going to spoil me just like that baby with some delicious food all the time? I mightjustb open the guest bedrooms and rent them.” Y/N joked leaning over the pot, the smell made her stomach growl.

“Well given the financial circumstances that isn’t a bad idea.” Brie admitted.

“Congratulations.” Added Cillian from the corner of the kitchen.

“Thank you!”

“Mum! I’ve already chose a name for the filly!” Arlo’s voice resonated from the entrance.

“Hello, good evening to you too, can you show some modals please?”

“Hello!” Arlo went to wash his hands and started helping his Mum set the table, Cillian offered to assist the kid. “Do you like riding?”

Looking at him, Cillian nodded. “I’m hoping I won’t be an embarrassment.”

“It’s easy!”

Cillian chuckled at him. “You say that because you were born riding.”

“Are you friends with my Mum? Does it means you’re my friend too?”Arlo gave him a hopeful look. Cillian answered him with a nod. “She needs some.”

Catching the last part of the conversation only Y/N approached them with the food, Brie following her steps.

“I need you to not bother our guests.” She answered and disheveled his hair playfully.

“Y/N I was thinking on what you said.” Cillian looked at her cautiously. “If you want of course… I could pay you and stay here instead of the B&B.”

“Are you sure?” Y/N asked considering his offer.

He nodded. “I rather stay here and use the driving time from there to here and back in learning more.” Deep down he loved the familiar energy.

“Mum, say yes! I can show Cillian my cars collection!” Arlo suggested excited.

“Well, yes. How can I say no?” She accepted earning a round of happy chants from everyone.

By the end of the day Cillian learned how to get the horse saddled, it was so important to hold it firmly in place. But also he learned to listen to the horse, he needed to make sure the horse was comfortable. Y/N suggested they could go for a walk and take the horses, it was extremely important for Cillian to learn to control the horse while being on the ground first to then be able to ride one.

The following day, they spent a good amount of time working on showing Cillian how to get on the horse, it took several attempts. It was harder than Y/N made it look. But Cillian was determined to give all of him. And more than once, he found himself staring at her until she motioned him to get closer to have a better look and he’d snap out from his trance.

In just a few days he realized Y/N had a very kind heart judging by the way she treated the horses, she showed them respect and loved them with every fiber in her body. The work she did was admirable, being right there away from everything and everyone allowed him to really understand a fundamental part of his character.

By the third day in the facility, Cia paid Goldie a visit, she wanted to take her mare back home but Y/N suggested waiting a few more days until she was fully recovered. While Y/N walked Cia to her vehicle, Cillian decided to stop by Thunder’s corral.

“Hello! Is Y/N around?” Val approached him. “Arlo said she was here.”

“She went to walk Cia out after checking her mare.”

Val doubted whether to ask him directly or not, but she knew her friend better than anyone. “I hope you don’t find me or what I’m about to say rude… but I’ve seen the way you look at her, Brie says Y/N is smiling again, something she hasn’t done much apart from Arlo of course. Do you like her?”

Cillian took a step back, surprised by Val’s sharp eye. But he ended up nodding.

“Don’t look at me like I grew another head, I care about her but I also know she has been disappointed and hurt before,” Cillian looked down, not knowing what to do or say, “she likes you, secretly.”

Val’s words made him snap his head up to look at her.

“She does, I can see it in her eyes… so all I ask is give her time, slowly just like you would start riding a horse, you don’t go galloping after getting on them. She’s like a wild horse after getting kicked so many times, she acts on defensive mode but underneath she’s a softy.”

And just as she arrived, she left, leaving Cillian alone to face an avalanche to a door he closed because when he signed the contract for the Peaky Blinders series, he decided to end the relationship he was in and making the firm decision that he’d focus on this project only.

But sometimes, life has a different plan than yours.

“I came here willing to learn how to ride, but I think I’m getting so much more than that.” Cillian confessed to the thorough, extending his hand to caress the horse’s muzzle.

***

Part 2

A/N: Nothing, just THANK YOU! ✨♥️🚬🥃

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @gypsy-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @elk96 @heidimoreton @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989 @rangerelik @lovemissyhoneybee @ironpen @kittycatcait219 @shelundeadxxxx @speckledemerald @creativepawsworld

[ausetkmt]

What Did Christmas and New Year's Mean to the Enslaved?

Christmas Day was the immediate focus during my childhood, with New Year’s Day being the afterthought. The hopes and expectations of presents filled the months before Christmas. What toys would I receive? There was also the religious component, learning my part in the church play and participating in school concerts. New Year’s Day signaled the countdown for returning to school and that vacation would soon be over.

As an adult, New Year’s took on greater significance. Some years, I made resolutions reflecting the best intentions, though the will to follow through wasn’t a given. Gifts became more about giving than receiving. But both as an adult and child, it was primarily the Christmas season, with New Year’s coming in a distant second.

For the enslaved, Christmas and New Year’s also had special meaning. Christmas on some plantations did have some positives for the enslaved people. They might be allowed to sing, dance, and possibly mingle with relatives from other plantations. They might even receive small gifts from the master designed to instill loyalty and productivity.

Then again, the enslaved might be the gift. There are multiple documented cases of enslaved people given as gifts to family members or business partners on Christmas, including Louis Hughes, author of Thirty Years a Slave.

Despite revisionist historians suggesting how joyful Christmas was for the enslaved, many worked extra hard preparing the feast for the master and family. Some had the day off, but the work would always be made up elsewhere. It was always New Year’s Day that was at the forefront of the mind of the enslaved person. New Year’s was the day the owners settled their debts and taxes, often resulting in the sale of slaves and tearing apart families.

New Year’s had entirely different concerns for enslaved people in America. It might be the day their families were broken up for a year or forever, depending on their owners’ whims or financial concerns. In those days, the fiscal year began on January 1st, and all settlements were made at the end of the year. Farmers and plantation owners who were in debt often paid their bills by leasing or selling their enslaved people. Resistance was futile; whippings and slave jails were the response.

For those enslaved people fortunate enough to have families, what happened was obscene. If the husband was sold off or leased and the wife remained, she was still expected to fulfill her role as a breeder. Whoever the master designated would come around and take her as violently as needed. If her husband returned, he might find a child he didn’t conceive or an impregnated wife he hadn’t been with. His only option was to deal with it, just as she had.

Related: Florida Teaching Middle Schoolers That Slavery Benifited the Enslaved Is Wicked

The reasons the husband might not return were numerous. There was often danger in the work. Leased enslaved people often worked for the railroads or in mines, using dangerous explosives to dig out tunnels. Any who tried to escape, whether seeking freedom or returning to their family, were subject to beatings, returned to their new environment, and, of course, faced death, for which the perpetrator would receive no punishment.

The economy of several states depended on the forced breeding of enslaved people. Black women were mated with appropriate Black male “specimens” to produce bigger and stronger children who would fetch a higher price. They also might be raped by their masters or relatives and friends; their lighter-skinned children would also fetch a high price, whether they ended up as household servers or “fancies” in the girls’ case that would work in brothels.

The economics of slave breeding were set up in the Constitution. Slave states like South Carolina were able to negotiate a twenty-year extension of the international slave trade, with Charleston, South Carolina, being the main port. Little did they know that the day that agreement expired, Thomas Jefferson would end the international slave trade, causing southern plantations to rely entirely on domestically produced slaves. Virginia, Maryland, and other states had excess enslaved people due to the lower yield of tobacco caused by poor farming techniques. They made up for it by churning out as many enslaved people as possible by whatever means necessary to sell them down South, where they were needed to harvest sugar, rice, and cotton.

Related: Is Picking Cotton Really the Best Way To Teach Kids About Slavery?

Depending on the wealth of the plantation, Christmas might be somewhat of a celebration even for the enslaved. They might receive special food, small gifts they weren’t expected to reciprocate, perhaps even a few days off. But it was all a set-up. Come New Year’s Day, families might be broken up and whatever slight joy might have come from small gifts was offset by tears and the destruction of homes.

As 2024 approaches, there is still reason for anxiety, like the beginning of any new year. There will be a presidential election; war rages in areas of the Middle East with the potential for expansion as the Russia/Ukraine war continues. These types of concerns existed throughout America’s slave history, whether it be the War of 1812, the Civil War, the enactment of Fugitive Slave laws, or the general risk associated with enslavement. Knowing that you could be killed without cause and there would be no punishment due to prevailing attitudes and laws like the Casual Killing Act of 1669, is called qualified immunity today.

Still, as a parent and now a grandparent, I’ve never had to fear having my offspring sold away on New Year’s to settle another man’s debt. We’ll have to consider that progress.

[sab-teraa]

my entire family, including myself, kept clocking my aunty (rip) for talking crap about her daughter-in-law.

Turns out … she was right as hell 😭😭 and my fam, including my mum, experienced her rude behaviour firsthand (they stay at my aunts house for 16 days bc of religious custom).

And I thought my aunty was just being sexist wanting her daughter in law to do household stuff + the kid. Turns out, not only does she do not help at ALL with household stuff … she only goes into work once a week and spends the rest of the time at her mums place and doesn’t even help with anything related to their kid either 😭😭😭 while my uncle, works 9 hours a day, plus a 4 hour commute, has to come home and do everything???? I really thought my aunt was being traditional and talking shit 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Like???????? YALL NEED TO WORK TOGETHER PLS! Or hire help for longer periods!!! Twice a week is not enough! At least my aunty was there to take care of the kid… they neeeeeeed a au pair I fear

[bardicbeetle]

pssst, hey, are any of your vampires your vampires religious? Not in the like "vampirism has religious elements" anne rice sending lestat back in time in his head to drink the blood of christ kind of way but more in a, did the characters have religious tendencies while human and did those stick around or shift or vanish entire? Did immortality change their outlook on g(G)od(s)? sincerely, a very old friend, ~bonnie

BONNIE!!!!!! Darling, delight of my long sleeping RP life, how have you been my dear?

I apologize now for the fact that it's gonna be a few days on this answer. It's a slightly longer one.

But hi, i love you <3

So.

This is another of those person-by-person answers. Because, yeah, all the answers are basically different. I'm gonna stick to the vamp!house, because otherwise this is gonna get horrendously long, but I'll touch on the chaos trio briefly.

Alex, Daniel, Jesse, and Tom all grew up varying flavors of religious and ascribed to it for a fair amount of time. Isaac and Carrie were both raised agnostic/atheist adjacent/religion free. Moira grew up in a religious household but both never paid any attention to it, and it was so background to the rest of her family life that nothing much came of it.

At one point she refers to the vamp!house pre-Alex as someone having walked into what amounts to "An ex-catholic, an atheist by design, and a witch." having to slightly amend her statement at the insistence from Daniel that he's not a witch.

So, Jesse grew up catholic in the way of are we gonna send you to catholic school? no. are we gonna make you sit in church for a gazillion hours? Yes. He decided roughly around the same time he got thrown out that religion was bullshit, and has not looked back since then. So he's been very solidly No Fucking Thank You since about age 14-15. Then he gets terminally ill, meets a vampire, and ends up immortal, that kinda cements his own worldview that religion is bullshit and he neither wants nor needs any piece of it.

Moira I think is the most indifferent. She gets that some people enjoy religion and ritual for whatever reason, but her alignment falls way more along the hedonism is a form of religion on its own kind of thing. She doesn't particularly believe in a god or gods, but really doesn't care either way. As far as she's concerned, it need not apply to her.

Daniel also grew up very catholic, in, somewhat of a different way than Jesse. He was an altar boy, he went to catholic school, he will tell you if pressed that he's been smacked by more nuns than he would care to count. However. His older sister Lucille more or less drags him into some family history studies and both of them end up practicing what is closer to italian folk magic flavored catholicism than anything either of their parents would ever have wanted to look at. Including ancestor veneration, saints-and-angels-as-deities, and all sorts of other delightful stuff. Hence Moira's occasional insistence that he's a fucking witch.

Alex's parents are... were, what you would call... extremist. Both ascribing to some degree to the quiverfull movement and deep in hardcore evangelical circles. I'm not gonna say a ton on this because I have a post about it brewing somewhere in the depths of my drafts.

Anyways.

Thank you for the question Bonnie <3

Love you.

[keisoule]

BLIND FAITH WILL LEAD YOU SOMEWHERE, NOT IN HEAVEN, THOUGH: A REFLECTION IN THE MOVIE "PRAYERS FOR BOBBY”

TW: mentions of suicide, blood, blade, and death.

Any LGBTQIA+ individual could relate to the movie Prayers for Bobby. The story revolves around a young gay man from a religious family who believes that homosexuality is a horrible sin against their God. After realizing that Bobby's death was a result of their ignorance toward him, Bobby's mother started advocating for LGBT rights. Bobby's mother, Mary, realized that her blinding faith prevented her from seeing how her son's situation was getting worse. Bobby was already experiencing religious trauma from his family, but her mother believed that he was ill and that God would heal him. Consequently, Bobby committed suicide.

I also experienced being a Bobby in the family. I experienced the same thing that happened to him: my sibling outed me. The only difference is that she unintentionally outed me, but the outcome was the same for both of us. My family was making homophobic remarks toward me. They started questioning my faith in God and quoting verses they believed would make me feel guilty. I felt pain in response to what they did, and a part of me thought it was because of who I am. Because I had already anticipated this picture, I assumed that I would feel numb and was hoping I would be wrong. Sadly, they are opposed to my sexuality. In the early phases of grief, I initially rejected the possibility that they might be in shock and still be processing what happened because this is not typical for them, given their religious beliefs. In the same way, Bobby did when he denied that he was possibly not gay and had fallen prey to temptation. I also had doubts about my sexuality and believed I might just be confused. Bobby was angry during the second stage of grief because his family insisted he was ill and not normal. I became distraught with myself. I was questioning why my mother was frustrated, how much my sexuality had hurt them, and other such things. Like Bobby, I read the Bible and attended church-related seminars when I was in the negotiation stage. Because I am not viewed as a heterosexual, I need to perform nice deeds for God to accept me in heaven. As I nearly killed myself with a blade when going through the depressive stage, I believe this is a sensitive subject for me. I slit my wrist and shoulders, allowing the blood to pour all over my body. Because I shut my room door, no one was able to see it, and I assume no one noticed that I had been in my room the entire day. I didn't think I was depressed at the time since I was avoiding self-diagnosis. I want to get checked out, but my parents won't let me because we can't afford to counsel. They believe it to be a financial waste. "Kaya ka nagkakaganiyan e, magdasal ka kasi."  It is really tough growing up in a religious household, "Kakasama mo sa barkada mo mga ganiyan natutunan mo at nangyayari sa'yo." I also went through traumatic religious experiences, just like Bobby endured. You will always hear their irrational opinions and observe how they force their beliefs on others. Acceptance, which is the final stage, is a challenging one to get to. In my instance, I started being extremely harsh on myself mentally, emotionally, and physically. Once more, I came close to committing suicide, but I don't know why I hesitated. I've never figured out the cause, and I still don't. I just found that I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that there is nothing wrong with who I am and that I should not let anyone hurt me—including myself—just because they believe homosexuality to be a sin. I regained some of my confidence since my friends genuinely embraced me without making judgments. They are so dear to me. At my darkest hour, they did give me comfort, and I am genuinely thankful for that.

To summarize, the movie is a great representation of how one's parents' ignorance could lead to their child's death. Homophobia is still a big issue in most parts of the country since Christianity dominates the Philippines. This mindset being hard to remove to the people’s mind is the biggest challenge to the community. Being homosexual is not a sin; no one has the right to hurt a person just because of their sexuality. We humans should choose whoever we want to love without feeling any guilt. If being queer will make me go to hell, I will gladly accept my fate rather than be a hypocritical believer in God.

[tpe4ltr]

Looking for a M/s Long-term Relationship

1. You will be the head of our household. I will submit to your authority, and will have no rights except for those granted to me by you. Everything in your home, including me, is your rightful property. 2. You will have complete authority over every aspect of our lives. I will abide by any and all decisions made on my behalf. Disobedience will be punished severely. 3. When permitted to speak, I will address you as "Sir" at all times. If I'm being scolded, I will be required to speak in complete sentences and to both start and finish my response with "Sir." (i.e. "Sir, I understand, Sir.").

4. You will make all religious and political decisions for our family. I will be required to convert religions and/or political affiliations accordingly. 5. It is entirely your decision whether I should be allowed to hold a job and earn money. Any money earned by me will go directly into a bank account controlled exclusively by you. I won't have access to credit cards, debit cards, or bank accounts. I will not be allowed to touch or handle money without first receiving your permission. 6. If I am permitted to work outside of the home, I will be outfitted with a locking GPS monitor that will provide you the ability to monitor my whereabouts at all times. 7. I will not be allowed to leave the house without my husband's permission. It is likely that I will only be allowed to leave home with a chaperone. I will not be allowed to hold a set of house keys. 8. I will not be allowed to keep a cell phone unless it is configured to only send/receive calls from you. It will be your decision when/if I am allowed to speak with friends and family. This privilege is earned through good behavior and obedience. 9. I will not be allowed to access to the Internet, television, or radio. Instead, I will be expected to focus my efforts on taking care of your needs and looking after your home. 10. Every aspect of my diet, nutrition, and exercise will be decided for me. My husband will decide what sort of body he wants me to have. This includes the use of TRT, HGH, or other similar PEDs. 11. Every aspect of my daily routine will be subject to your approval. This may include a wakeup time, a schedule for daily chores, and a strictly enforced bedtime. Your house will be outfitted with security cameras, allowing you to monitor my behavior when you are not home. 12. You will make all decisions related to my appearance, including hairstyle, grooming, wardrobe, piercings and tattoos. 13. Any disobedience or disrespect on my part will be swiftly punished by whatever means you deem necessary to correct my behavior. It is your absolute right as head of the household to use violence and coercion to correct any willful or unacceptable behavior. 14. I will obey any specific protocols regarding eye contact (i.e. being forbidden to make eye contact with anyone other than my Husband). 15. There is only one Man in this relationship, and only your penis is to be used for sexual gratification. My penis will be locked in a chastity device at all times. Under no circumstances will I be allowed to achieve an orgasm. My only sexual organ is my "boy pussy", which must be made available to my Husband at all times. I am not allowed to deny you access to any part of my body at any time, for any reason. 16. If you are called away for any considerable period of time (deployed overseas, extended work trip, solo vacation), you are permitted to temporarily transfer your ownership of me to a temporary owner (or owners) for a prescribed period of time. The temporary owner(s) assumes all rights and privileges of ownership until you return. I am obligated to serve and obey anyone as ordered by my Husband. ... Message me if this sounds like something you'd be interested in. Especially eager to serve soldiers and men from the Middle East.

[xtrablak674]

Family Emergency

I heard this term mentioned on a podcast and I can say definitively that I have never been about that life. You need to have family to have an emergency. My mom has been dead for four decades, my father for three. I didn't even get a full decade with my mom before she died, and after I was estranged from my father we may have gotten roughly the same if I actually add up all the time I saw and spent time with him. Ten years of parenting does not a family make.

With my moms death her three children were scattered. I was sent off to my paternal grandparents in the Bronx, the two younger children went to Yonkers briefly before my mom's cousin couldn't deal with the youngest child's behavioral issues and had him removed from the home. All of this was the death knell to whatever family I had.

My grandparents covered the basics but were both emotionally aloof. Holidays were really an afterthought, we saw family but this paternal side of the family wasn't as familiar to me, my first cousins once removed were all a lot older than me, my father was their contemporary but I was his child, not one of their clan. I was the oldest child of the cousins but not old enough to be readily included. This was very different than my maternal first cousins, not at all removed but my contemporaries and younger, but they were left behind in my childhood city.

With my mom's death I went from being one of three kids, actually four if you include my much older brother. To basically a single-child in a household with two grandparents and one intellectually disabled uncle. Now my two great aunts were very present in my life primarily around my grandparents religious service and participation with their local place of worship. For a very long time I was very close to my middle great aunt her taking on the role of a maternal figure giving me the affection that her older sister didn't seem capable of or even interested in.

I grew up and left my grandparents house a bit abruptly being evicted while I was away at college. I have said this before but I always felt like a guest in my grandparents home, a large part due to the matriarch of the house, the patriarch largely deferring to her indomitable will.

I want you to understand there was no one with whom I had a clearly defined close relationship with, as to warrant being a point of contact in case of emergency. My grandparents had each other, their youngest son had them and more than likely they would call their siblings over me, if something came up. My siblings grew dependent on each other because they finished growing up within close proximity. I was more or less left on my own.

No one has been checking on me for my entire adult life. I have had friends in and out of my life who had some concern for my well-being, but that has been the outlier to the norm. It makes me think more and more about the planning of my estate and what exactly I am doing with the wealth I have accumulated. My first and intial instinct was to make allowance for the children, meaning the kids of my siblings. But more and more that is becoming less and less likely.

The older kids who now live on their own and in some cases have children of their own, whom I don't need the permission of their parents to interact with, have had very little contact with me. It seems silly for me to make provisions for children whom in my life gave little more than a damn for me. I think my wanting to was a residual expectation from my mom, who really did an amazing job of providing for her kids in the inevitability of her death.

But what I am realizing is these kids are not my kids, and I am being treated thus. Most of their feelings coloured by the adults in their life, not based on anything I have done or haven't done to them. For a few years I had tried my best to have contact with them, but the cost was too great. One set were adopted and the adoptive parents albeit mostly familial prevented me from further seeing the children. The second group of kids I stopped on my own because the unresolved anger, homophobia and hostile feelings from their parents was exhausting and was too steep a price to continue to have a relationship with their children at the cost of my own mental health and well-being.

The word family has become meaningless to me, and without the emotional connection to that word there can never been anything warranting the level of urgent, or an emergency for me. To an outsider not understanding the full context this may sound callous, but for me I have been an outsider to the word family for most of my adult life, I haven't really known another existence and even though my default is to continue to honor familial obligations, it seems that I am the only one operating on this premise, and frankly it no longer serves me. Fuck doing what is right, I need to do what is best for me, because at the end of the day I am the only one checking for me.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

[taylortalkss]

Blog #1: Television - Family Matters

The subject of my selection is the TV series Family Matters. This series aired from 1989 to 1998 and revolves around the Winslow family, an African American household living in Chicago. It explores various aspects of family life, relationships, and societal issues. This series relates to our course topics as it offers a subtle outlet to examine the representation of race, ethnicity, and cultural diversity within a popular TV series. The show itself can resonate with the audience through different characters such as Steve Urkel. The “Do the Urkel Dance” scene was a humours moment during the TV series that ultimately became a memorable scene for the entirety of the show. Most might view it as somewhat silly or obscure, but what we don’t realize is that as an outside audience, we are now relating to Steve Urkel’s persona as this scene ultimately brings a sense of shared enjoyment to the viewers; a sense of community. It expresses and shows many different cultures and races coming together and finding a similarity despite the visual differences.

This TV series generates crucial conversations regarding race and cultural diversity through its portrayal of characters and narratives. The show challenges certain stereotypes placed on those of color for example, Carl Winslow; the patriarch of the family who is not known as a “token black character” but a fully formed figure with his own struggles. Carl Winslow’s character within the family aligns with Takai’s argument in which he emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the diversity within racial and ethnic groups.

Additionally, the introduction of the character Steve Urkel, while initially fitting into certain nerdy stereotypes, evolves throughout the TV series to showcase to the audience his intelligence and kindness to the Winslow family. This portrayal challenges the one-dimensional representation of African Americans in media. It prompts a discussion among the audience about how race intersects with other aspects of identity like class.

Family Matters expresses a great value towards democratic citizenship and cross-cultural understanding. Takaki discusses throughout the readings the importance of negotiating your identity within cultural contexts; meaning, understanding the process of navigating one’s sense of self including aspects of race and ethnicity. The TV series Family Matters occasionally incorporates bits and pieces of unspoken celebrations regarding cross-cultural understanding by integrating cultural traditions into the storyline. Holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Kwanzaa all highlight the importance of cultural heritage and shared experiences among the entire family and characters towards the audience. The episode attached below highlights a scene from Family Matters where they are celebrating Christmas. This scene portrays Steve Urkel giving Laura a gift, which happens to be a doll of himself. This scene did wonders not only for the show but for the society around the early 90s as well. Steve Urkel's doll came to life and was a very popular gift for families and kids, somewhat ground breaking as the 1990s was a time for addressing racial segregation.

Additionally, the series is great at expressing a “pluralistic society” or a diverse cultural, ethnic, or religious ideological group, as Takaki states. The Winslow family portrays many interactions and does a great job of promoting an inclusive and community-based sense in their lives. Each character has a diverse background but can further explore and personalize their interactions with each other all while embracing the diversity of one another and reinforcing a sense of unity.

In summary, Family Matters goes beyond entertainment for viewers. It is a TV series that is able to address important topics such as race and diversity through its evolving characters as well as challenge stereotypes. This series relates greatly to Takaki’s readings and contributes to a broader discussion on cultural representation in popular media.

Works Cited (MLA Format):

“A Merry Winslow Christmas | Family Matters.” YouTube, YouTube, 20 Dec. 2023, www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEMtsZiz5Zk.

“Family Matters | Do the Urkel | Warner Bros.. Entertainment.” YouTube, YouTube, 10 Aug. 2020, www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S2kljloUHY

“Steve Urkel Doll 1991 - Family Matters ‘Did I Do That?’ Vintage Hasbro.” Starflower Designs, www.starflowerdesigns.ca/products/urkel-doll. Accessed 8 Apr. 2024.

“Steve Urkel.” Incredible Characters Wiki, Incredible Characters Wiki, 4 Apr. 2024, greatcharacters.miraheze.org/wiki/Steve_Urkel. 

Takaki, Ronald. “A Different Mirror : A History of Multicultural America : Takaki, Ronald T., 1939-2009 : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming.” Internet Archive, New York : Back Bay Books/Little, Brown, and Co., 1 Jan. 1970, archive.org/details/differentmirrorh0000taka_n6a3

Wiki, Contributors to Family Matters. “Carl Winslow.” Family Matters Wiki, Fandom, Inc., familymatters.fandom.com/wiki/Carl_Winslow. Accessed 8 Apr. 2024.

[2q5b]

MIKEITZ

By Ezra

December 13th, 2023

There was no such thing as a gay religious Jew. Such a thing had never been imagined, much less heard of as actually existing. This is what I thought, anyway. It was the early or mid 2000s. The word “queer” was an insult. I was a teenager and I didn’t know how big and various the world really was. I didn’t even know I was gay, much less trans. I had never heard of trans people. I didn’t know I existed. I was not yet imaginable to myself.

I wanted to be an Orthodox Jew. I got into it via an older kid who I looked up to, who was passionate, full of fire. I wanted to go toward the fire. I wanted to really live, not just watch TV and go to the mall and do my homework. I wanted to devote myself to the ultimate. Orthodoxy was a far cry from the hippie-adjacent Reconstructionist Judaism of my parents and synagogue, or even from the Conservative Judaism of the private Jewish school I went to until I was thirteen. Attempting Orthodox observance was a transgression, a passionate non-conformist campaign I undertook, closely parallel to my obsession with punk rock.

The inconvenient facts of my sexuality and gender were very slowly coming into view, through the charged fog of adolescence. I thought I could carry it all, and keep the inconvenient parts hidden. I thought I wouldn’t get hurt.

Our parsha is about the life of Joseph after he is exiled from his family at age seventeen, after he wears something pretty and gets the shit beaten out of him. His brothers want to kill him, but they throw him into a pit and sell him into slavery instead. They get rid of him, is the point. In a way, they did kill him. His life as he knew it has been stripped from him, and no one knows where he is. He no longer exists. The word Joseph’s family use again and again for his non-existence is “einenu.” He is not.

 But Joseph is. He has survived his own extinction. His life in Egypt has the frenzied zigzag of the young and untethered. He is traumatized and vulnerable, but also vigorously himself. What is striking is how spiritually connected he remains in the wake of his banishment from his community. He mentions God almost every time he speaks. Multiple Egyptians recognize that “God is with him,” and people repeatedly entrust him with positions of enormous responsibility. “The spirit of God is in him,” says the king of Egypt. Everyone seems to fall in love with him. 

But when it comes down to it, all the charisma in the world won’t protect a member of the despised underclass, an immigrant, a slave. Joseph is incarcerated for years for a crime he didn’t commit. The text calls it a prison, but he himself, still in the wake of his teenage trauma, refers to it as “the pit.” He asks a fellow inmate who is about to be released, the royal wine steward, to plead his case to the king, but as last week’s parasha concludes, “The chief wine steward did not remember Joseph, but forgot him.” Once again, Joseph does not exist. Einenu.

When Joseph finally gets out, he becomes instantly and maximally assimilated as an Egyptian. He becomes second in command over the entire Egyptian empire. He is dressed in new clothes and is given an Egyptian name and an Egyptian wife. The Torah breathes no hint of disapproval at this total assimilation. Just the opposite: this is the rise to power that saves countless lives from the severe famine that begins seven years later, including the lives of Joseph’s entire family, the forebears of the Jewish people.

In the process of gaining this crucial influence, he becomes unrecognizable, completely cut off from his origins. Almost no one even knows he is, or once was, a Hebrew. He has fully transitioned, and he passes. Entirely stealth, he is finally fully succeeding in life. He names his first born son Menashe, a form of the word “forget,” in gratitude that “God has made me forget all my hardship and my father’s entire household.” He makes his son into a constant reminder to forget his terrible past. It sounds like a contradiction, but people who have needed to flee from their past know that it’s not. There is the passive kind of forgetting, simply dropping the thread of memory, but then there is active forgetting, forgetting forward. It is enshrined in your present day life: my past can no longer hurt me. The road I took has led me to healing. The old Joseph is dead. Einenu.

It is a natural, and often a necessary, thing to turn away from the home community that harmed you and completely sever your ties to it. So many of us urgently need to leave our religion or family behind in order to thrive. And yet. There is no total escape from one’s past. Even when the way toward healing involves a clean break from a former life, we avoid a relationship with our origins at our peril. Even if no interpersonal reconciliation is possible, you are going to have to learn how to live with your past. Like it or not, your memory and your present-tense self are roommates. And memory is the messy roommate. You and your memory can stagger your schedules, even avoid each other completely, but you will still find dirty dishes left out in the middle of the living room. 

Eventually, Joseph’s past comes knocking on his bolted-shut door. Ten of his brothers show up in Egypt, devastated by the widespread famine, desperate to buy food, and it’s Joseph they have to deal with. He knows who they are, but they don’t know who he is. “We, your servants, are twelve brothers, the son of one man in the land of Canaan,” they tell him when he grills them for information. “The youngest is with our father, and the other is gone.” Einenu.

Again, Joseph undergoes the experience of not existing. Of outliving himself. His brothers do not see him. But this time, the power is all his. They tried to kill him and now they are entirely at his mercy.

But even more urgent than the opportunity for revenge is that Joseph has a chance to rescue his youngest brother, the only other son of Rachel, who never did anything wrong to him, and who has had to live with these abusers for years now. He projects his hurt onto Benjamin and desperately tries to seize this moment, as if he could undo his own trauma by saving another child from having to go through it. In trying to remove Benjamin from the other brothers and bring him to Egypt, Joseph is trying to save the child in him who was hurt so badly, who was thrown into a pit with no one to help him. The innocent child who is no more. Einenu.

Joseph is now reliving the past that he swore he would always remember to forget. He’s stuck in the old story, replaying it and scrambling to undo it. He creates a drama of false accusations and manipulation to bring Benjamin to Egypt and to put his brothers through psychological torture in the process. But as he spends this terrible time with his former family, disguising his intentions throughout, his anger begins to lapse into heartbreak. More than once he leaves the room to weep in secret. It starts to slowly dawn on him, even amidst his deceitful engineering of the situation, that perhaps his brothers really have changed. That maybe it is possible to see the past differently, to see it as a prelude to a liberated future. Never to excuse what was done to you, but to understand it differently as the story gets longer, as life gets longer. To allow it to mean something new, something better.

So many of us have been traumatized by where we come from. So many of us Jews have been not just alienated from Jewish community, but harmed by it, attacked by it, erased from it. 

You may be a Jewish woman who was forced by a misogynist tradition to be silent, subservient, domesticated, degraded.

You may be a politically inconvenient anti-Israel Jew, asked to ignore your moral conscience, to excuse the continual oppression and recurrent murder perpetrated by the state of Israel.

You may be a non-white Jew harmed by creeping white supremacy in Jewish community. A disabled Jew blocked and degraded by ableism. A convert or a non-Jew drawn in by love  and spirituality, and then othered and erased.

You may be, like me, a queer Jew who was told by people she trusted that she had to throw her queerness into the deepest darkest pit and never let it out.

Or maybe you were just not loved by your community, not listened to, not cared for, and you knew in your bones you had to break away.

Regardless, I hope you got free, or are getting free.

Joseph’s story is asking us: how do we want to live with the painful past? What could it start to mean for those of us who have now found a way to thrive despite it? If the ones who hurt us came begging our forgiveness, ready to care for us, ready to see that we do exist, that we are human–what would we say to them?

I don’t know what I would say. What I know is that I am trying to unclench the fist that I have closed over my hurt, to open my hand and let myself heal. To allow memory to be only the painful beginning of a very long and very beautiful story.

[automatismoateo]

I don't know what to do about my parents threatening to disown me if I admit to them that I am agnostic via /r/atheism

I don't know what to do about my parents threatening to disown me if I admit to them that I am agnostic

Ok, this one is a doozy so get ready to hear it..

My (f19) entire life I have been raised in a very conservative, Roman Catholic household. I'm talking about going to Church every week and a private Catholic school kind of life. My parents are extremely strict and steadfast in their religious and Christian values, notably that they are Pro-Life and believe anyone who is Pro-Choice is like the worst form of humanity. For the first part of my life due to indoctrination, I never questioned this line of thinking and didn't think too hard about it. However, as I got older and experienced high school and my first year of college, I'm beginning to realize that what I have been taught to worship is false and hurtful for many groups. Naturally, I kept this fact to myself as I was going through major phases of self-discovery and kept quiet. I continued to reluctantly go to Church and agree with my parents because I knew that otherwise there would be major consequences to pay that I was not ready for.

Fast forward to 2 years ago, and I met the most amazing guy (m19). I'm aware that I'm young and acknowledge that we are both growing and changing and have a lot of life to live, but I really love him and am in the middle of n LDR with him due to college with the plans of staying together later on in life. He makes me smile, laughs, treats me like a queen, and makes me so happy I can hardly believe I got so lucky to have him in my life, much less be loved by him. One of the reasons I love him so much is that we have similar perspectives on life, including that of religion. He himself is an atheist and I consider myself to be agnostic/questioning faith. However, he always reassures me that whatever I choose to do with my life, he will always love me no matter what and is always supportive of whatever I choose to do. Still, I am quite sure of my rapidly growing agnosticism.

About a month ago, my boyfriend came to visit me and my family. It was seriously the best vacation ever except for the fact that he started talking to my mom about his opinions on abortion and his atheism. I would like to clarify that I am absolutely not upset at him for being honest with his views and opinions with my mom. I would never ask him to lie and pretend he's something he is not (which is another reason I love him). After he left, my mom really stuck to the fact that he was an atheist and essentially freaked out saying that we weren't compatible long-term and I shouldn't expect support from my parents in this relationship (even though they've known him and have enjoyed his company for the past 2 years). She kept mentioning how he and I have fundamental differences in our religions, except for the fact that we don't because I don't consider myself to be a Christian anymore. We have had on-and-off conversations with me kind of cowardly avoiding the question and vaguely bringing up my points of confusion with the idea of Christianity, but it all came to a head today.

My mom somehow got into the topic of abortion today and I finally was honest and admitted that I consider myself to be fully pro-choice. She connected the dots to this meaning I was not a follower of God, This completely set her off and she started calling me a disgusting person, and immoral, and when she looks at me she feels like vomiting. She threatened to kick me out of the house and told me that if I continue down my current path I'm not going to have a relationship with them and they will refuse to be a part of my wedding and my life. I've been long accused of using my parents for various reasons (college tuition, shelter, etc.) and this was a repeated instance of that. I have never felt so lonely and depressed than when my mom looked at me and said I was the biggest disappointment in her life. With the impending threat of being put out on the street, I cowardly backtracked and made it seem like "I was still figuring things out" and "I didn't say I don't believe in God". I know this was awful and put me three steps back from where I started but my survival instinct kicked in and as I'm not completely financially independent, I felt like I had to lie to my parents in order to continue my college education and continue living in my house (in a state where I recently moved to and have no close friends that aren't at least 1,000 miles away. I ended up easing my mom's anger with these lies and I feel like a terrible person. I'm lying to my parents and I feel like I'm lying to myself. I know my boyfriend will support me and comfort me too, but I also fear that he deserved better than someone who lies and misleads their parents because they are too afraid of the consequences at this point in their life. I know at some point I'm either going to have to choose to lead a life estranged from my parents or one where I am forced to live in a lie and the thought of this is incredibly depressing. I feel like a coward and a manipulator and I'm honestly disgusted with myself for not having the balls to stick up for my beliefs.

I'm sorry this is so long, I really just needed a place to vent and seek out some advice. How should I continue on knowing what my parent's reaction will be once I finally come clean?

​

Submitted July 09, 2023 at 01:22AM by AbbreviationsIcy3319 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/1MXGsSU)

[thesimplyluxuriouslife]

347: How to Savor Christmas at Home, Alone, Simply Luxuriously

The holiday of Christmas is a festive time that arrives a mere one week before the new year begins.

The arrival of Christmas stirs up nostalgia for some, angst for others, seasonal stress for most of us and a stream of quiet hope for perhaps nearly all of us that a Christmas miracle will occur. And regardless of what we imagine it to be as November arrives and we look ahead to the final two months of the year, it is a holiday capable of being exactly as we most wish it to be when we approach it with a conscious and loving heart and mind.

Discovering and then honoring what brings us joy is a step in the direction for a most enjoyable holiday.

Nigel Slater reminds in his The Christmas Chronicles that "many of the festival's observances date from pre-Christian times, and those who celebrate it as a purely religious event might be surprised to find out how much of the festivities hails from pagan times." The celebration of the winter solstice just days before the 25th, the beginning of more light to our days was, again as Slater shares, celebrated long before Christmas was celebrated "Saturnalia was the Roman festival of honor of the God Saturn, with feasting lasting from December 17th to the 23rd". And so in many ways, while religious or not, spiritual or atheist as Slater shares he is happily, we all borrow from each of the reasons to celebrate during this Christmas time of year, and that too is something to celebrate.

I had planned on posting on an entirely different topic for today's episode/post, but in the days and weeks leading up to curating this episode, I found myself becoming increasingly excited about my own plans for Christmas. Knowing that how I am choosing to celebrate is a less celebrated approach by the culture, I wanted to share because as I wrote in the December chapter of my book The Road to Le Papillon, it is imperative that we celebrate all holidays that come with traditions in such a way that brings us true joy. I acknowledge that not everyone lives alone by choice as I do, but even in a household of a couple or a family, knowing and voicing and observing what brings true joy to those we love and then honoring this need in some way as you design your day of celebration is a priceless gift to give.

So day, as the final episode of 2022, the holiday episode it will be, and along with the ideas for savoring Christmas home alone simply luxuriously, today's Petit Plaisir will be holiday inspired as well and ties in quite nicely with the theme of our conversation. While alone typically signifies one person, it can also include you and your significant other/partner/spouse or you and your household - family. Let's take a look of how to savor Christmas by focusing on quality rather than quantity thereby elevating the entire experience.

~Note to readers: More is discussed in detail in the audio version, so do be sure to tune in. 😌

1.Choose to celebrate alone

During the past three years, more than most of us had no choice but to celebrate Christmas alone, so understandably, doing so yet again, may not be enticing or desired. However, I was one of those people during the pandemic who enjoyed spending some of the holidays in my own company, but this is also coming from someone who prior to 2020 chose to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas in my own company more than a couple of times and had, hands down, some of the best holidays in my adult years I have ever had.

Knowing you have chosen to spend Christmas Day in your own company gives you time to plan, to anticipate, to prepare and thus to then savor the day when it arrives.

Especially if we are changing our plans from previous years of spending this day with family, knowing we have communicated and perhaps shared some holiday time together earlier in December, will make the change into a holiday tradition you desire more enjoyable knowing you have prepared well, so that your conscience can be at peace.

2. Savor other holiday social outings/gatherings/volunteer activities leading up to Christmas

Christmas Day has always been a day I don't want a grand dinner, nor do I want to dress up and throw a dinner party; however, as many of you know, I love hosting a dinner party, so it is rather how I view what Christmas Day is - cozying-in, getting snuggly and just having a wide-open day to savor the joy that has culminated over the past month or so. With all of that said, we need not wait for the actual date of the 25th to arrive to celebrate Christmas. No, no, no, no!

As I know many TSLL readers do, plan a special lunch or dinner date with your dear friend or friends to exchange gifts. During the past couple of years, my dear friend Veronique and I have done this, and dined at a favorite European-cuisine restaurant here in Bend, enjoying sparkling wine and oodles of conversation as the hours pass by, only remembering at the end to exchange our gifts because we've been talking so much! :)

3. Do something special on either the 23rd or the 24th

Every year I have done something slightly or significantly different, but these two dates are the special ones for me when it comes to soirées, hosting a dinner, going out to dinner and splurging, seeing something special with family or dear friends.

Every year as a child, Christmas Eve was the BIG dinner at my parents' house in which we and our guests would dress up for and we kids would do so obediently because we knew soon we would be in bed awaiting Santa's arrival. Now as an adult, the energy of the season is palpable and spending time with others, more than a handful is something even this introvert enjoys because it only happens once a year.

One year, in fact the last Christmas season I was in my house in eastern Oregon (Pendleton), I threw a soirée and more people came than I imagined, and it turned out to be one of the most beautiful memories of my time living in this home with the people attending from my neighborhood, my colleagues at school and my brother and his wife. It was held on Christmas Eve Eve (the 23rd), and it was perfect timing as then I had time to decompress on the 24th and look forward to a quiet Christmas Day.

This year, I am excited to be able to enjoy a full five course meal and share the meal at my neighbors', along with my own, respective houses as we will be enjoying a progressive dinner, and since we all live either next to each other or on the same street, we need only walk a couple house-lengths to enjoy the next course. The clean-up is less, the cost for each of us is more affordable, and as the weather looks to be snowy, it will be safer to imbibe and thoroughly just enjoy the evening. I cannot wait!

4. Plan your Christmas meal - brunch, dinner, dessert, etc.

As you will be in your own company and can dine whenever you prefer, decide what meal you want to enjoy and then do so at your leisure. Brunch is always a must-have on Christmas with pastries, eggs, a meat of choice - sausage or bacon, perhaps a Bellini and paired with The New York Times annual Puzzle section, I will be enjoying a good long meal in my pajamas, of which doesn't take that long to cook. Speaking of pajamas . . .

~Here is my recipe (and video) for homemade French croissants~

5. Select your favorite pajamas and have them ready to be worn

As it is quite cold in Bend, I enjoy wearing linen pajamas, and make sure they are freshly laundered and pressed. Just knowing you are wearing something comfortable and warm that you will likely be wearing part, if not all of the day, eliminates the guilt of doing something that is quite foreign to most of us, but something to savor on this special day.

6. Stuff the stockings for your four-legged companions

My pups each have their own stocking, and while Nelle doesn't know the fun that is in store for her just yet, both Norman and Oscar loves/d their stockings, and as you can see below, waited patiently to explore the contents each year.

7. Don't forget to give yourself a gift

While no doubt you have already shopped and wrapped and delivered your gifts for loved ones, even filling out holiday cards to send to personal and professional contacts and acquaintances you are grateful to have in your life, be sure to remember to include yourself on Santa's list to shop for.

Whether the gift to yourself is tangible (a nice Trudon candle) or not (purchase those tickets for your trip next year, or put the deposit on the vacation rental), give yourself something you've been dreaming about and maybe wouldn't purchase freely any other time of the year.

8. Make plans to do something unique/special on Christmas Day

Whether you stay home and take part, attend an event locally or pop up to the mountain to go skiing if snow is in your backyard as it is mine, have a plan to do something special on this day. This will get you up and give you an opportunity to move and perhaps exercise and just looking forward to enjoying this special something is a joy in and of itself.

9. Plan a special evening ritual to savor

As shared above in #4 if you have already planned on either a brunch, a lunch or a dinner, I would encourage to also include a delicious evening-into-the-night treat. What I will be up to after having a good brunch, then a jaunt to the mountain or a long walk in the snow somewhere nearby, is enjoying a slice of homemade Bu1che de Noël that I will be making a few days earlier, paired with hot cuppa or maybe a sip or two of cognac and enjoying whilst sitting by the fire, reading a bit from a book that is calling my name to suit whatever mood I am in, and then watching a bit of the new series that is this week's Petit Plaisir (see below).

A preview of what I hope I can recreate in my own kitchen. This was my mother's Bûche de Noël made, and we all enjoyed, last Christmas Eve.

Wishing you a wonderful, happy and merry Christmas this coming Sunday (and a Happy Hanukkah as well). Thank you for stopping by and look for a new episode on Wednesday January 4th, 2023.

SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY

Why Not . . . Enjoy the Holidays Even If You're Single?

M.L. Longworth Talks Provence during the Holidays, Favorite Cookbooks and her new Provençal Mystery, episode #268

Merry Christmas and What Made Me Smile This Year (2019)

Petit Plaisir

~A Storm for Christmas, Netflix limited series

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #347

~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate:  iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify | Amazon Music

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

[wiggles-mcgee]

Every year for Lent for the past six or so years, I do give something up! I'm not fully religious - I would define myself as agnostic, or religious by practice but not by beliefs - but I do celebrate Easter and the Christian traditions due to my family and my upbringing. So we have been partaking in Lent for a while now. For me, it tends to be foods and so on, and I give this up until Easter Sunday, while others in my family give up until Maundy Thursday or Good Friday instead. However, this year I would like to try something else instead! I will give something up, cut back on other things, and commit to certain things too!! Lent for me is both religious/sacred, and a test of willpower and my own strength. I find it empowering, and I also find that while I do enjoy the things I sacrifice during this time, all of the things I give up, cut back on, and commit to, does benefit me!

Right at the top of the list, I give up unhealthy and snack foods!! Any of my family that participates in Lent does this. This is always a vague definition and what we give up varies in my household, but I include in this: snack foods (chocolate, sweets, crisps), fast food and takeout, and generally fatty or sugary foods (varies depending on product). I choose to do this because, apart from the health factor, I find these foods drain my finances unnecessarily. Plus, this is the committment I make for Lent every year, and everything else is just extra, so it's my traditional thing to give up.

I have certain exceptions to this rule for myself - for celebrations such as events or birthdays, where I am not given a choice in food, then I will break Lent, and maybe have a bit of cake too. Or, if certain foods are needed for my health - salted crisps or pretzels if I am unwell, for example, or dark chocolate on my period, or honey for my sore throats. I also do not include squash, and to an extent, hot chocolate, because these drinks bring me comfort and actually make me hydrate myself. Of course, by Easter I have like a bazillion chocolate eggs to eat and that makes me happy too.

I am now at university and will also be giving up alcohol for Lent!! This one is actually so much easier than the snacks one for me, because booze is expensive. And frankly not worth it for one drink. So it makes

That is what I give up in its entirety, but I also try to cut back on certain things during Lent too. Unnecessary spending - sure, snacks and fast food and alcohol are part of that, but also things such as buying plushies or small trinkets or more clothes when I already have a full wardrobe. I don't think I can give this up entirely, as I may forget, but again, this will help me save money and not buy unnecessary things that I won't use all too much or just don't need. Also, I don't think I can give it up entirely, but I will attempt to limit my hot chocolate intake - its my favourite drink, comforting, great for when I'm on my period, and an exception to the foods I give up. But that doesn't mean I should drink it all the time.

I will commit to trying to hydrate myself more - drinking at least one glass of water a day. That doesn't sound like a lot but frankly last week I went two days in a row without drinking anything, my levels of dehydration are concerning and probably contribute to me being sluggish.

I am also going to commit to making appointments for my mental health during Lent - I've been procrastinating this for a while and need to do so. The big two are making a mental health appointment with my faculty at uni, and making progres towards an autism assessment.

So yeah, this is what I will be committing to for Lent this year!!!

Nothing like panicking on Mardi Gras to figure out what you’re doing for lent.

Where’s that post I had seen a while back about people giving ideas for lent? That may have been last year. I’m going to try reading lord of the rings again. Like last year I’m starting late but I think what I don’t finish I’m just going to skip ahead to where I need to be. Also, there’s a podcast for it with short episodes about 4 minutes long that I’ll probably listen to. Maybe I’ll go back to listening to Christian music or listening to the podcast on my drive home from work. I already listen to Christian music on my way to work so I can try to be kinder and not punt any teenagers.

All this to say:

What are y’all doing for lent this year? Not as a brag but as a means of giving ideas/ helping yourself feel accountable by saying it.

[char-lotteral]

It still baffles me to know that despite how conservative and religious the Philippines is, a huge majority of the population still chose to support a man who is known for his crimes, his impunity and the countless bloodshed that he has caused during his dictatorship

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

Meme Culture in 40K

The Guard: regular shitposting. Often about eccentric characters of the "I knew that guy back in..." variant. Everyone knows the guy who shot his nuts off with a modded lasgun. Names change, often there is no official record, but everyone says they knew the guy. Also a lot of shitposting about certain commisars that is just vague enough to not get them shot on the spot.

Strapping your lasgun to your body so it looks like you are shooting with your dick is an evergreen joke that has not died down for centuries.

Space Marines: in its thematic combat and training focussed for obvious reasons, but utterly incomprehensible to outsiders. Some of the in-jokes and references date back centuries and sometimes puns include several generations of lingual drift to make sense. The events referenced might already be entriely gone from living mortal memory. One of their favourites is "funny mortals I met during a mission"-stories that they swap. Guard officers who just don't give a shit. Civillians who tried their best to "help". Sometimes just humans who just were not intimidated and treated them like any other person, which is very unusual for them. Some people have become meme-characters in their own right by now, even if they have been dead for centuries.

The Inquisition/Officio Assassinorum: No Fun Allowed. If you feel a fun-neuron in your brain firing off report to your superior for mental reconditioning.

Sisters of Battle: Officially also no fun allowed, but when they know no one's looking there is SO much religious shitposting. Sometimes it is bordeline blasphemy, but they usually stop before it goes full heresy. Fire jokes are always in style, and as with any zealot group there are also sub-groups that have their own eccentricities, and oh do they love roasting each other.

Grey Knights: Overly serious and will never be caught making a joke in public. Internally there is a lot of "I punched a Slaanesh demon its dicks with a powerfist once" jokes.

Custodes: Space Marines but x10 worse. Imagine memes that reference minor events in the unification wars. They are essentially a very small club of isolated weirdoes.

Knights: Very dependant on the household, but expect a lot of references to obscure family history. Also every now and so often someone takes a knight arm weapon and makes it look like its firing from where the mecha's genitals would be. That joke is just a human constant by now.

Adeptus Mechanicus: Madness. Utter madness. Their entire binary language is a mess of references and memes piled onto each other, combined with code and mathematical concepts pressed into linguistics. Within all that incomprehensibleness it is almost absurd that "I replaced my dick with a neutron laser" is still an evergreen joke.

Tyrannids: the Overmind is pretty sure that a "meme" was something it ate last week.

Genestealer Cults: they literally just post propaganda. They are genetically conditioned to only find that funny. Quite sad when you think about it.

Demons: are memes. Literally. Chaos is a memetic danger. The trouble is just that they are sentient with their own agency. They definetly have a preference for things that get people killed, such as weird challenges and so on.

Orks: Stories. So many stories about warbosses and the like. Half of them don't make any sense but as long enough Orks agree they do... well... you know the drill.

Craftworld Eldar: Very sensible humor, nothing too exciting. Quite polite. Often with a very melanchonic and depressive undertone. Looking at craftworld memes for too long as been cited as a cause for clinical depression.

Dark Eldar: a weird mirror-universe scenario: if you want to be really punk and edgy in their society, you post on "wholesome memes boards".

Harlequins: Shitposters Surpreme, Clown God and all. However a bit too self-referencial so it gets boring quite fast.

Exodite Eldar: every now and so often someone straps a laser gun to a dinosaur to make it look like it fires with a place where on a mammal there would be genitals.

Necrons: a bunch of royality who literally has nothing left but weird hobbies and shitposting. 90% of memes is someone roasting someone else, somtimes in a very roundabout way. Leads to multi-system civil war sometimes, especially when grudges are held for millenia. Often utterly incomprehensible to outsiders.

T'au: masters of the optimistic meme, also loves throwing shade on Imperial living conditions. Their favourite sort of comedy enjoyed by T'au and auxilliary races alike is essentially auxilliary races or very eccentric T'au driving the Ethereals insane with actions of the "they are a bit confused but they got the spirit" category - the characters definetly do their best for the Greater Good, but in entriely diferent ways the Ethereals would have wanted or planned them to act.

Every now and so often, someone submits blueprints for a battlesuit or Stormsurge that has its massive cannon in a rather peculiar spot. The recent increase of such submissions has been blamed on the humans.

[recovering-catholic]

My friend Fatima is currently trying to claim refugee status in Canada, but has hit obstacle after obstacle. If she is unable to claim refugee status, she could be deported back to Bahrain, where her life is almost certainly in danger.

If you would please sign and share, it would mean the world to me and to the many other people in Canada who love her.

Thank you so much in advance. 🙏🏻

"Fatima is a Bahraini born immigrant seeking refugee status here in Canada to escape persecution. She grew up in Bahrain in an extremely restrictive religious household. Forced to wear the hijab for most of her life, Fatima was forced into Islam from a young age. Day in and day out, she had to pray and act the part of a faithful muslim despite not believing in Islam. Her entire life growing up was restricted and controlled. This included who she saw, what she wore, and what she said.

Finally, at age 19, Fatima managed to immigrate to Canada to study. She spent five years studying at McMaster University, and graduated with a Bachelors of Liberal Arts in 2020. In Canada, Fatima found a sense of freedom she had never had in her home country. She was able to live without religious control and enjoy a secular life. She made many friends and has found a sense of community here.

Unfortunately, Fatima has been fighting to remain here with her friends and community. In 2021, her Post-Graduate Work Permit was rejected. Compounding this, her family from Bahrain found out about her secular lifestyle. This resulted in horrible harassment from her family, including threats against her life. They have also cut off all financial support in an attempt to blackmail her into returning to Bahrain. If Fatima is forced to return to Bahrain, she will no doubt face horrible persecution and be dragged unwillingly back to a faith she does not believe in. Most troubling of all, her life may be at risk.

In order to stay in Canada, Fatima has applied for refugee status. The office of immigration has been challenging her case, citing a number of small discrepancies as an excuse to keep her from receiving refugee status. This has only made this whole process more challenging, and means that Fatima faces deportation.

In 2017, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated “To those fleeing persecution, terror & war, Canadians will welcome you, regardless of your faith…diversity is our strength.” We only ask that the Canadian government live up to these words. Canada has fostered a reputation around the world of being a welcoming place for those fleeing persecution. It makes no sense that a woman fleeing for her life and liberty should be sent back to a hostile and dangerous environment. All we want is for Fatima to stay here, with her friends and partner, where she is safe to continue working and living life as she sees fit.

Please sign this petition demanding refugee status for Fatima!"

[nothorses]

My thing about all the "culturally Christian" stuff is that a lot of people who get labeled as such. Aren't? I'm sure that a lot of people would assume that I'm culturally Christian because I'm a white person living in the US, and a lot of white USians are actually culturally Christian.

But I don't celebrate or participate in any "secular" Christian holidays unless I'm forced (which I do not enjoy), Christianity doesn't inform my beliefs in any way, and I didn't even grow up in a Christian household. Christianity has like, practically zero affect on my life. And yet I just know people will still call me culturally Christian.

As someone who just doesn't really care about religion it's very frustrating.

Oh, absolutely same.

My family is three generations of atheists. We celebrate Christmas, but that's the only Christian holiday we do- and it's in such a way that I fully didn't know Jesus was involved in Christmas, or that it was a religious holiday at all, until I was, like, 10. It's an excuse for family to get together, eat food, and give gifts.

I recognize that's still participation in Christianity to some extent, but I'd also point out that this is pretty intentional on the part of Christianity, too; Christians have historically worked very hard to get people to participate in Christianity in whatever way possible, including in Christmas even incidentally, as a possible avenue of conversion.

And personally, I have done a lot of work to recognize, unlearn, and rebel against Christianity! I've spent most of my life doing that! I have had endless conversations with people about it, I've learned what I can, I've discussed it, listened to people, analyzed my own thoughts and ideals backwards and forwards countless times- and not only that, but I have been actively nervous around, if not outright afraid of, Christians and Christianity my entire life. Because I have always been an atheist, and I have no intention of changing that, and that makes Christians really, really, really fucking angry.

But I'm a white atheist in the US, so I'm generally presumed "ex-christian" and "culturally christian", despite all the work I've done and all the shit I've dealt with to the contrary.

I don't think "culturally Christian" is a label anyone should apply to anyone else- some folks use it for themselves, and that's totally fine! And the phenomena of cultural Christianity does exist; we can recognize and acknowledge when folks are participating in it. I really just wish we'd treat it as a behavior instead of an identity.