#my hatred for kevin knows no bounds

[kalpasio]

This is really weird but I want to punch Kevin way more than I do Kalpas, even though Kalpas is the one berating us at every turn. I guess I just have a soft spot for how caring he actually is and I sympathize with his longing for a normal life. I just want him to be happy 🥺😭

something about Kevin though… I want to spray him with a garden hose.

nOLISTEN Kalpas is aggressive and rude, but Kevin is just flat out abrasive at all possible moments and I want to strangle the man. Like Kalpas might hurt my feelings a lil but I Kevin makes me angry enough to rival fiery man and I want to kick his teeth in. I cannot explain it, just I see him on the screen and immediate angy. Get him OUTTA here

[butchmarner]

My hatred for Kevin Bieksa knows no bounds

[duckapus]

You Witness a Weeb's Revival

Welony grinned as her two favorite lackeys entered the room while in the middle of their latest argument, “well well well, look who’s finally home.”

Predictably, Kohga immediately stopped what he was doing to grovel, “forgive our tardiness, my Dark Mistress! We would have arrived sooner, but he caused our mission to take longer than expected!”

“Wha-me?! I did most of the work! Do you know how hard it is to search an entire exploded island, even with the water-breathing powers my mask gave me? You barely even got out of the boat!”

“I told you, I’m a weak swimmer! It comes from living in the desert!”

“Enough!” as amusing as they were, she had work to do, “it doesn’t matter how long it took as long as you got what we need. So did you?”

Byte smirked and gave a sweeping gesture towards the door with his right hand, “one mangled chameleon corpse, as requested.”

Right on cue, a quartet of Yiga Footsoldiers wheeled in a large cart that held a horrific, twisted mass of metal, glass, and charred, shattered, bleached bone. Though it was unrecognizable and very, very dead, Welony could feel the hatred and malice emanating from it.

“Oh yes, this will do nicely. Prepare the ritual!”

-----------------

In a few minutes, the entire Clan had assembled at a large altar, and were creating a massive pile of assorted anime merchandise, boxes full of printed out fanfics, and even actual dvds and manga collections, along with some Mighty Bananas because of course they would. Set between the pile and a podium at the front of the altar was the corpse that Kohga and Byte had brought in, surrounded by candles lit with purple flames.

After the pile had reached a size Welony was satisfied with, she held up her hand, “Arrange the sacrifices!”

At that, three teletubbies, dressed as Sasuke, Hatsune Miku, and a catgirl maid, were led out while bound in ominously glowing chains and set around the pile at roughly the points of an equilateral triangle.

“And now, for the final piece,” this, she would do herself.

She floated up to the peak of the pile, placing one last item; an unopened physical copy of the Collector’s Edition of Kevin’s School, then went to the podium, where Master Kohga stood on her right side and Byte on her left.

“Now, let us begin.”

On cue, a Yiga Clan member who was quite conspicuously a default TF2 Pyro with a Yiga mask glued to their gas mask hefted their flamethrower and set the pile of offerings ablaze. Two of the teletubbies started screaming in agony, while the catgirl maid one was seemingly unphased.

“This is fine.”

As the offerings burned, the assembled Yiga Clan Members circled the fire and began to chant in order to strengthen their dark mistress’s already formidable powers.

“Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy. Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy…”

And so it went as Welony began to glow an ominous red, raising her hands to the corpse and pouring her power into it.

“HEAR ME VENGEFUL SPIRIT! I HAVE OPENED A CHANNEL TO THE LIVING REALM! RETURN TO YOUR EARTHLY VESSEL AND SERVE ME, AND YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR REVENGE!”

In answer to her calls, the corpse rose into the air, and both it and the bonfire were quickly engulfed in blinding white light. Catgirl teletubby was still unconcerned despite being reduced to a flaming skeleton in a cute dress at this point.

“I am okay with the events that are transpiring.”

Eventually it was too much and the group shielded their eyes from the glow, which then died down as quickly as it came. And when they did look, they saw that both the corpse and the offerings had been replaced by a hulking, skeletal figure.

It was clear from the body shape and pixelated art style that this had, at one point, been Francis. However, he was now several times his original size and just as picked clean of flesh as he had been moments ago. He was augmented with a variety of mechanical components, most prominently a wide array of different weapons mounted on his arms and tail, a vacuum tube running from the back of his head to the inside of his left hand, and two parallel rows of Splatoon-style Ink Tanks running down his spine. Both his eye sockets and a pulsing orb in his ribcage glowed dark purple. A Zelda-style Boss Caption appeared before him.

The Incel’s Vengeance

Stal-Zuccer

He leered down at the watermelon girl who had summoned him, and for a moment it looked as though he might attack her…before he ultimately kneeled, “SEN…PAI…”

Welony’s mouth stretched into a wide, sadistic grin, “Boys, how do you feel about a trip to the Splatlands?”

Kohga erupted into evil laughter, while Byte simply smirked, “I’ll pack my bags.”

[kevinharrispastor]

God is Holy

By Kevin is pastor of Illawarra Community Baptist Church, a suburb of Wollongong, NSW.

God is holy.

Habakkuk 1:13 says,‘Thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil, and canst not look on iniquity...”

Ezekiel 18:4 states, ‘. . . the soul that sinneth, it shall die.’ Why? Because God is absolutely holy!

Exodus 34:7 declares that God ‘. . . will by no means clear the guilty...’ There is only one reason God does not overlook our sin – He is holy!

Zechariah 8:17 says, ‘And let none of you imagine evil in your hearts against his neighbour; and love no false oath: for all these are things that I hate, saith the LORD.’ Hatred against sin is part of what it is to be holy.

Do you know that God is holy?Psalm 113:5-6 asks,‘Who is like unto the LORD our God, who dwelleth on high,  Whohumbleth himself to behold the things that are in heaven, and in the earth!’

God is incredibly holy!

Many of God’s choice servants were confronted with a holy God at the beginning of their ministries.    

Moses encountered a holy God when he came across a burning bush one day.  God said in Exodus 3:5 ‘. . . Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.’

One day, the Lord Jesus performed a miracle that astounded Peter so much that we read in Luke 5:8,‘When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord.’

And in Isaiah chapter six, Isaiah stands before a thrice-holy God and trembles. 

God’s holiness is the one characteristic above all of God’s other attributes that the angels of heaven choose to exclaim over!  He’s holy!

God is so holy that when Nadab and Abihu, Aaron’s sons, offered strange fire, God immediately struck them dead.

He is so holy that when the Israelites murmured and complained, God wouldn’t overlook it. Thousands were destroyed in judgment from the Lord.

He is so holy that in the book of Joshuawhen Achan disobeyed God and stole, he was stoned to death.

He is so holy that when Ananias and Sapphira lied in Acts chapter 5, God struck them dead.

I believe we need a fresh picture of the holiness of God in our city of Wollongong and in the nation of Australia.  If we could just get a good understanding of God’s holiness, it would dramatically reduce the pleasure we find in wickedness.

God said in Psalm 50:21,‘These things hast thou done, and I kept silence; thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself: but I will reprove thee, and set them in order before thine eyes.’

When I see that God is not sinful like me, but that He hates sin, and when I realise that I will stand before Him someday in judgment for my sin, I’ll be careful how I live. 

You see, sin will not go unpunished.

Let me illustrate it with Australia’s justice system.  It is the responsibility of our nation’s courts to pursue justice, not to be merciful.

Have you ever heard anyone say, ‘I could never live in a country that would build places to punish people — some for the rest of their lives — just because they raped a girl and murdered her’?  Not very likely!  It is obvious that a government is within its bounds when it dispenses justice.  ‘You do the crime, you do the time,’ is a saying almost everyone agrees with.

What many people do not understand, however, is that God is perfectly just in sending those who break His laws to a place of punishment.  Yet a popular argument for those who deny the God of the Bible is that a loving God would never punish anyone in hell.   God has a system of justice too, and it is of the purest form.  He has a set of guidelines that must be obeyed.  If they aren’t followed exactly, punishment eventually results.  And since none of us is perfect, we all deserve that punishment.

But God is not a God of justice only.  We can be pardoned from our sin because Christ paid our debt when He died on the cross.  By receiving Him as our Saviour, we escape eternal punishment because Christ has already been punished for us. 

God’s holiness demands justice, but He also offers mercy.  That’s a loving God in action.

Let’s bow before Him, worshipping Him for being both holy and merciful.

Kevin is pastor of the Illawarra Community Baptist Church in Dapto, located approximately 15 minutes south of Wollongong, NSW.

[satuguro]

tenshi | pt. 2

IN WHICH: tsukishima can’t let go and your sadness turns into anger.

PAIRING: tsukishima kei x ukai!reader, kageyama tobio x ukai!reader

INSPIRED BY: freckles — kevin atwater, hikare are (moonlight) — burnout syndromes

WARNING: angst, cursing

A/N: sorry for taking so long to update! i’ve been having really bad writer’s block :,)

prologue, pt. 1, pt. 2

tsukishima wasn’t sure when it happened.

he always had a gut feeling that he had always felt that way when he looked at you. the feeling of caring so much for one person terrified him. he had never felt like that before— it was new and unexpected.

tsukishima didn’t like new and unexpected. he wasn’t like you, who practically craved the outside world that it was almost annoying.

he had spent countless nights trying to figure out when he realized he loved you.

was it when you gave him a box of dinosaur bandaids that you had stolen from your dad’s store? you given it to him with a smile and a short, “it reminded me of you.”

was it when you let him pick the movie for movie night, but instead of him picking jurassic park, you picked it? “you always pick jurassic park, and you always pick the first one because it’s your favorite,” you had stated with a nonchalant shrug.

or was it when you told him you were leaving? when you muttered out your mom’s plans and tsukishima’s blood ran cold because no, this wasn’t some sick joke. you were leaving and never coming back.

you had told him you were leaving, and all he did was walk away.

“i’ll walk home with the guys tonight!” you sent your dad a bright grin, one he only huffed at as he reluctantly handed the keys to kageyama.

“be safe,” he said sternly. his words would’ve almost come off as cold if you didn’t know your dad well. he was worried, that was all. as he made his way to the door, he paused, not looking over his shoulder as he said, “if you all don’t leave soon y/n won’t treat you to meat buns.” immediately, ukai shut the door behind him.

instantaneously, hinata bound over to you, his arms going up as he jumped around you over and over. you could never get used to the sudden height he gained “y/n teach me more about what you know you never got to—!”

hinata’s loud screaming was interrupted by a volleyball that hit his head.

kageyama, who was practically fuming as he stood behind the middle blocker, barked, “do you want meat buns or not? help us clean, dumbass!”

as the freak duo continued to bicker as they cleaned up, you nudged yachi softly as you watched on in amusement. “it’s good that they haven’t changed,” you commented, and she smiled widely.

“oh yeah, they’re still exactly as before. they just learned more, i guess,” yachi laughed. in front of you, yamaguchi tried to calm the two down, his freckled cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. tsukishima only loomed over them with an unimpressed look on his face. “same thing goes for yama. tsukishima, though...”

“i expected it,” you cut her off, words coming out more forced than you would’ve liked. without missing a beat, you smiled. you didn’t want to tell her that tsukishima was the last thing you wanted to hear about. “we should help out. knowing by dad, he’ll probably purposely close the store if we’re late.”

“they have the best meat buns, trust me!”

akiteru’s cheerful voice made kei let out a disgruntled grunt.

ever since he found out that his brother and his position as an oh-so-great ace, akiteru had ben doing everything to make it up for him. tsukishima’s frown deepened as he reluctantly walked into the store, his eyes set on his sneakers as he slowly followed his brother.

he lied. no amount of meat buns was going to change that fact.

“ukai! two of your best meat buns, please!” akiteru’s grin faltered for a moment as he turned back to kei, but that didn’t change his spirits as he turned to the cashier.

you sat behind the cash register, your fingers reaching up to your mouth and pulling out the red lollipop you were sucking on. it was obvious that you were kei’s age, yet you acted like you owned the shop (and maybe you did).

“my dad says i’m not allowed to get meat from the dish because it’s too hot and i’ll die,” you said pointedly, leaning forward in your plastic chair. you looked at kei with a curious tilt of your head, and kei only stared back.

your hair was pulled back with a thin headband, and he recognized the logo on your beige sweatshirt; a volleyball sweatshirt.

“i didn’t know you had a lil’ brother,” you said with a tilted grin, eyes switching between kei and akiteru. in response, akiteru ruffled kei’s hair, making the boy scowl and try to slap his hand away. you giggled in amusement. “he’s grumpy.”

kei gave you a nasty look. “am not.”

your beaming smile didn’t falter at the glare he gave you. you were perfectly unfazed by it, and to kei’s surprise, you only laughed more. “you’re funny.”

kei’s face bloomed a slight shade of red.

“s’bout time. i was about to close,” your dad sighed as he handed you the packs of meat buns.

you knew that was a lie. he always liked night shifts at the shop.

“even if you did close the shop, i’d feed them,” you hummed, looking behind you. your friends were outside, all standing in front of the glass door of the shop. yachi was laughing with hinata while kageyama sipped his milk peacefully. farther away from them was yamaguchi and tsukishima; the green haired boy was trying to speak to the other, but the blonde was too busy on his phone.

“whatever,” keishin managed a small smile as you turned back to him. “don’t stay out too late.”

“i won’t. thanks, dad.” you gave him a short side hug before you made tour way back outside, blind to the growing smile on your father’s face.

“oh my god, i love you!” hinata took the pack from you and began eating it almost immediately. you scrunched your nose as you saw part of the wrapper disappear in his mouth.

“hinata you ate like half of the paper—!” yachi yelled in panic, her hand smacking hinata’s back as she tried to get him to spit it out.

you turned to kageyama, handing him his meat bun with a close lipped smile. he squished his milk carton with one hand, his free one taking the meat bun from you. “... thank you,” he managed a smile, and you laughed.

it wasn’t as scary as his smile before you left. then again, you never really minded his smile.

you walked over to yamaguchi and tsukishima, both of whom were talking intently between themselves.

“you can’t keep this up— y/n!” yamaguchi’s freckled fave bloomed red as he forced a smile, his expression immediately changing. wordlessly, you handed the meat bun pack to him.

“what’re you guys talking about?” you found yourself asking, eyes daring to meet tsukishima’s for a second before meeting yamaguchi’s once again.

“none of your business, ukai,” tsukishima answered before yamaguchi could. you stiffened at the use of your last name; he never used it before.

“tsukki!” yamaguchi scolded, but you only smiled.

god, tsukishima hated it when you smiled. he hated how his glare, which was supposed to be nasty and full of hatred, would falter at the sight of it.

“it’s whatever,” you shrugged, playing off your feelings, “enjoy, you guys.”

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

of course he was the last to leave.

you wanted to curse whatever god was in the skies that made him the last one to leave. the awkwardness hung in the air, and you could’ve easily just chosen to go inside the shop and he could’ve just gone home, but you were both frozen in your spots.

you two were sitting on the curb, making sure that there was a distance between you both. the only light was the flickering street lights and the dim lights of your shop behind you both.

you both could’ve just left. so why didn’t you?

“we haven’t—“

“shut up.”

your mouth shut and your gaze returned to your feet.

why wasn’t he leaving? why weren’t you leaving?

how could he still be so mean? this is kei, but still.

your confusion slowly turned to anger as your fists clenched harder and harder, before you snapped your head towards kei and finally let it out.

“what the hell is your problem?”

to your surprise (and anger), he only shook his head, letting out an incredulous laugh.

“really, ukai? you have no idea?” kei didn’t even look at you as he chuckled, his glasses nearly slipping off his face. “you’re as dumb as you look.”

“i’m not a fucking mind reader, kei,” you seethed in response, your eyes never once leaving his form. all the sadness that he once been caused by him turned into pure rage; his blunt words didn’t help. “so tell me. what is your problem?”

“fuck off,” kei snapped, standing up from his seat and shoving his hands in his pockets. he began to walk away without another word.

“no, tell me.” you stood up after him, your tenacity getting the beat of you as you followed him. “kei—“

“i told you to stop calling me that!” kei turned to you, meeting your eyes for what fet like the first time in forever. he was angry, that much you knew. his brows were knitted together as he looked at you, and his eyes held nothing good behind them. yet, despite all of this, you stepped closer. “leave me alone, ukai.”

“i just—“

“what, you want it to be like old times? you want me to accept you with open arms and a big fucking smile?” kei took a stop closer to you. he saw the way your lip was quivering and how you hid it by pulling it between your teeth. his haze was stone cold, and no matter how much he wanted to say, “i’m sorry for being such an ass,” he did nothing. kei was driven by the hurt you caused him before you left and the pain he went through by keeping his own words to himself. you left.

“leave me alone, ukai. i mean it.”

the first time you argued with tsukishima kei was when you were in middle school.

you had accidentally stepped on his favorite dinosaur figurine when you were dropping off his notebook at his house. in an immature fit of rage, kei told you to get out while he desperately tried to fix it.

his brother gave him that figurine before he left for college. of course it meant a lot to him.

you had come back to next day with a dinosaur plushie that you had bought with all your chore money. you had messily embroidered a small moon on the stuffed t-rex’s chest, and you had shoved it to his chest when he opened the door.

you didn’t like accepting defeat, but this was an exception. “i’m sorry, please accept this as a token of my affection.”

kei remembered that he had responded with a judgmental raise of his brow, but you had cut him off before he could make fun of you.

“i spent all night making that damn moon. accept it or die, kei.”

he walked away again.

you only stood in place, your eyes watching his form leave as you clenched and unclenched your hands. you wanted to scream. you wanted to find a punching bag and punch the living daylights out of it, but all you did was watch him go.

“y/n?”

you tensed up at the voice, and you turned around towards the voice. tobio kageyama stood right behind you, his hand reaching down for the pack of pencils he seemingly forgot before he left. knowing him, that was probably all the pencils he had.

“you’re crying,” the setter said dumbly, standing up at full height as he looked at you with a concerned frown. what else was he supposed to say?

you managed a laugh as you aggressively wiped your tears away. god, you hated crying. “no shit, genius.”

kageyama stepped closer to you as you continued to wipe your eyes. you laughed tearfully once again.

“i don’t even know why i’m crying,” you felt more tears flow down your cheeks as you hurried to wipe them away again. once again, you laughed. “it just keeps coming.”

quietly, kageyama pulled you closer to him, his arms holding you close as you continued to softly cry. your words of, “the tears won’t stop. why isn’t it stopping?” were muffled as you cried into his sweatshirt.

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

A/N: again, sorry for the late update! writer’s block sucks ass :(

TAGLIST: @grapesauze , @neijiwave , @whothefuckstolemykeds , @sugakuns , @lexysclubhouse , @bakibakini , @animeanxiety , @kodzu-ken , @ukhyeonn , @sana-li , @differentballooncollection , @thechaosoflonging , @scrappydaisies , @nnessworls , @emogril , @killuaking , @vinnieluv , @kageyamas-whore , @helloshoutohere

prologue, pt. 1, pt. 2

[thebookreader12345]

On the Loose - Chapter Three

Chapter One     Chapter Two   Chapter Four   Chapter Five

The coffee in my system helped me wake up a bit, but I was still pretty tired considering that I had been shaken awake at around 5:00 in the morning. I yawned and rubbed my eyes again as Jay pulled up to our newest scene. I stepped out of the truck and glanced around to see police vehicles everywhere, along with a few crime scene investigators waiting for us to view the scene so that they could gather all of the evidence. The bright blue and red flashing lights of the police cars clashed with the light color of the barely morning sky, giving the street an almost unsettling look.

“Uh, hey. Detectives Halstead and L/N. Is Sergeant Voight here yet?” Jay asked the nearest officer, who nodded and pointed to the direction of the house we had appeared in front of. Jay thanked him quickly and started off towards the front door with me following behind him. It didn’t take us long to find the body because as soon as we stepped inside, we were met with a blood trail leading to the bedroom. And when we entered said room, I was greeted by a crime scene that looked very similar to the others. Except this time, something was different. There wasn’t a letter for me in sight, and instead, on the foot of the bed, right below the victim’s body, was a huge book. A photo album.

“Anybody open it yet?” I question. My voice caused Voight, Hailey and Adam, those in the room from the team, to look up at the sound of my voice.

“It’s addressed to you,” Adam responded. “Forensics dusted for prints and found nothing, so it’s safe for you to touch.”

“I’d rather not touch it, but I don’t want to offend the killer,” I counter and take a huge step over the puddle of blood in front of me. It hadn’t had time to dry yet, which meant this kill was fresh. Recent. Perhaps very recent. “Well, lets see what my admirer has to give to me today.” I reached forward and slipped my fingers under the front cover of the album, flipping it to the side to reveal the first page. The first page’s pictures were all of our first victim. One showed our victim bound and gagged, but still conscious on the warehouse floor. And the second showed her dead with dozens of stab wounds on her body. The second half of the page was of our second victim, the one found in her house, which was also where we found our first note. Again, the first picture was of our victim alive, this time unconscious. The second, the dead body. I then flipped the page and came to our third victim’s photos taken when she was alive, and when she was dead. On the other half of the second page was a letter.

“Terra Bretton was my first victim. I remember the first time I saw her. She looked so much like you, Y/N, that I was transported back to the time when you destroyed my life. Everything was taken away from me just like that. When I saw Terra that day, I got angry, so when she was closing up her bakery, and no one was around, I kidnapped her and then I took her to an abandoned warehouse on the other side of town. That’s where I killed her, stabbing her so many times to rid my body of the hatred it held for you. Killing made me feel better, and so, when I saw my second victim, Addison Reed, I knew I had to do it again. She was a lot feistier than Terra, and when I broke into her house, she fought back. I didn’t want to kill her while she was unconscious because I wanted to see her squirm, but she wouldn’t stop talking, so I chloroformed her. A few minutes after the chemicals had set in, I struck. Again, I used my method of choice; stabbing. My third victim, the one lying dead in front of you, is Luci Denton. I saw her around a lot, and every time I caught a glimpse of her, I was reminded of you. I followed her home one night, and when she got out of her car, I was ready for her. I placed my knife against her throat and led her inside of her house where my attack began. I stabbed her once in the stomach, breaking the skin easily. As she bled, I dragged her body into the living room where I stabbed her a few more times, and finally, to the bedroom, where I ended her life with a knife to the heart, the blow that killed her. You may think that because you’ve got a whole team of police officers to back you up during the day and a detective for a boyfriend sleeping with you at nights that I won’t dare to come for you. But I will. I won’t stop until I kill you, and be warned, you’re next.”

“Well, that was comforting,” I murmur and close the album.

“Sarge, I think this is getting too far. Y/N’s life is in danger. We need to catch this bastard,” Jay exclaimed.

“And I understand that, but we’ve got nothing. There hasn’t been any forensic evidence at any of the scenes, and we’ve got almost no leads. The best we can do is continue combing through all of the cases Y/N has worked on and hope we find our guy,” Voight spoke.

“Um, hey. Do you mind if I keep this?” I ask the nearest CSI. She shook her head, and I thanked her before grabbing the photo album, holding it against my side.

“What do you plan to do with that?” Hailey questioned.

I shrugged. “Maybe something will jump out at me.” We left the crime scene quickly and headed back to the district to start working. Kevin and Kim were already in the bullpen going through files when we arrived. I slid into my desk chair and got straight to work. The first thing I did was re-read the note that came along with the photo album, and something jumped out at me. Our killer had said that he saw Luci around a lot. That could either mean he was always near where she worked or her house. That’s when I got an idea. I dug deeper into Luci and discovered where she worked, a book store out in Humboldt Park. Then, I started searching for PODs that might have a view of that building. After searching for a bit, I finally found a camera that was on the same street as Luci’s workplace, but the problem was, its view didn’t quite reach where Luci worked. I could see part of the store, but not the entrance. I guess that would have to do. I started scanning the footage, trying to remember as many faces as I could, but it didn’t do me much good because there were so many people passing by, and many of them could have fit the description of our killer. By now, it was 8:00 in the morning, and the bookstore’s website said that they were open, so I figured I’d head down there to see if there were any cameras that actually had a view of the bookstore’s entrance, and maybe see if anyone who worked there could ID our killer. “I’ll be right back,” I tell the team and stand up, grabbing my coat as I did.

“Where are you going?” Kim asked me.

“I just need some fresh air,” I lie. “I’ll be back shortly.”

“Y/N,” Jay started.

“I said I need some air,” I repeat. “So just give me a few minutes, okay?” And with that, I pulled on my coat and exited the bullpen. It was about a fifteen minute drive to the bookstore, and when I climbed out of my car, I spotted someone sitting at the front desk inside. I pushed the door open gently, and a bell jingled above me, signaling that I had entered the store. The woman at the desk looked up and gave me a small smile, which I returned, and set down the book she was reading.

“Can I help you?” the woman, whose name tag read Lila, asked.

“Yeah,” I reply and show her my badge. “I was wondering if you could answer a few questions for me.”

“This is about Luci, right? I saw it on the news this morning,” Lila confessed.

“Were you guys close?” I question.

Lila shook her head. “We never spoke outside of work. As soon as we both left after closing, we went our separate ways. She texted me a few times, but they were all work related texts. Things like she’d be late for work or couldn’t come in because she was sick or something.”

“Okay. Uh, this past week, have you seen any guys around here: blonde, green eyes, thirtyish, on the taller side?” I ask. Lila hesitated, meaning she probably knew what I was talking about, but she didn’t answer my question and looked out the front window. “Lila? Have you seen the man I described?”

“I don’t believe I have,” Lila responded. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work.”

“Lila, you’re impeding a murder investigation, and by lying, you’re committing obstruction, which means you’ll get up to three years in prison along with a pretty expensive fine. And I know for a fact that you won’t be able to pay it off with the salary you get from working at a bookstore. So tell me what you know,” I demand.

“H-he said he’d kill me,” Lila stammered out, tears brimming the corners of her eyes. “He said that if I talked to the police, he’d find me and kill me.”

“When was this?” I question. Lila didn’t answer the question and looked down at her hands. “Lila, I promise that you’ll be kept safe, okay? I just need you to tell me what happened.”

Lila sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “A man came in this morning right as we opened that fit your description. I had seen him around a lot. He came in a few times asking to speak to Luci, but she told me that someone who looked like him and been following her the past few days, so I always told him no. When he came in this morning, I somehow knew he had killed her. I just knew. He threatened me, said he’d kill me and anyone I loved if I told the cops that he’d been stalking her.”

“Okay. Did you happen to catch his name?” I ask.

Lila nodded. “He said his name was Jeffery something.” That’s when something hit me. Or should I say, someone. 

“Was it perhaps Jeffery Smaldor?” I question.

“Yeah. That’s it,” Lila responded.

“Okay. Um, I think it’s best you take the day off. Head down to the 21st district and say Detective L/N wants you in witness protection. Thank you for the help,” I tell her before leaving the store. As I got back to my car, I had the feeling that someone was following me, but when I turned around, no one was there. The whole street was empty. I pulled out my keys to unlock my car, and that’s when I felt a pinch in my neck. I reached up, my hands brushing against a needle, and suddenly, my whole body went limp. I then collapsed against my car, my keys falling to the ground. Hands grasped at my waist and turned my body around, and that’s when I saw him. Jeffery Smaldor. The man I was after.

“Hey, Y/N. I heard you were looking for me. Looks like I found you first,” Jeffery spoke and smirked. And with that, my eyes began drifting close, and after a few seconds, I fell unconscious into Jeffery’s arms.

_______________________

Tag List:

@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @lorenakaspersen @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13 @dreamingmanip @campingmonkey @winterberryfox @nevertoofarfromivar @anotherfan07 @giagma @mrspeacem1nusone @i-like-sparkly-things

[imaginingsoftly]

For the Love of the Game - Jake DeBrusk

Type: first meetings, mini-rants about hockey culture thinly veiled as plot

Requested: No

Warnings: lots of swearing

A/N: An ending miraculously made an appearance, so the Jake thing is actually a one-shot and not a series. 

Night shifts were the time to work. Y/N sighed as she finally sat on a stool halfway through her shift, the first chance she’d had to sit since the night began. Weekend night shifts, while her favorite, could be demanding. Everyone was out, it seemed like, and they were all drunkenly breaking bones. Not that she’d ever complain about the volume of work. It was lucky, really, that she’d managed to get a radiology tech job in Boston at all. Mass. General was an enormous hospital with some of the best staff in the country, and it wasn’t often they hired new grads without prior work experience. 

Mary, one of her favorite coworkers, slumped onto the chair next to Y/N with a groan. “I just had a 220-pound drunk guy fall on me. I’m gonna feel that for weeks.” Mary rubbed at her back as Y/N laughed. Mary was small, barely five feet tall, and maybe 100 pounds. Her size had been an advantage in college, when she was a flier for one of the cheer teams at a university in Texas, but was a disadvantage now when she had to manhandle people over twice her size. “How many X-rays are you up to tonight?” Mary asked. “I’ve seen you running around non-stop since our shifts started.”

“I lost count about an hour ago,” Y/N chuckled. “I can tell you that it’ll be a new personal record though. I’ve never seen so many random injuries before. Most of the time my people are coming from car accidents this time of night, but now it just seems like a ton of drunken reverie.” Mary made a face in agreement, and they watched in amusement as one of the orderlies hauled another drunken patient back into his room. It was madness in the halls, and Y/N shook her head. “Am I missing something? Is there a holiday I don’t know about?”

Ben, one of the doctors, appeared at Y/N’s side suddenly. “The Bruins played tonight. They won, but it was a really rough game. There were a couple of brawls in the stands, and some in the streets. That’s probably where most of these people are coming from.” Now that he mentioned it, there were a lot of people wearing sports gear. Y/N recognized the black and gold as belonging to the home team, but she didn’t recognize the blue and white the others were wearing. “The Toronto Maple Leafs,” Ben said, before she could ask. “They’ve got a bit of an intense rivalry going the last few years. A lot of tension, on and off the ice. Doesn’t help that Boston tends to come out the victors in playoff games.” 

Sports. Y/N’s mom was never a sports fan, minus Premier League, and even then she was just a casual observer. There had never been any intense feelings about sports in their house, and Y/N would never understand the hatred people felt for each other over teams. Ben squeezed Y/N’s shoulder gently, drawing her back to the present. “You guys need any coffee? Kevin’s making a run for me before he gets in for his shift.” Mary shook her head with a smile, but Y/N nodded. She would never turn down a good cup of coffee. Anything was better than what they’d get in the cafeteria. 

“Black, please. With a shot or two of espresso.” Ben shook his head disapprovingly at her, and Y/N shrugged with a smile. “I know, I know, caffeine is bad. I promise I’ve only had 3 other cups today. I’ve been good.” The coffee addiction was real. Honestly, it wasn’t so much the caffeine most of the time so much as it was the taste, but Y/N knew she shouldn’t be drinking this much of it. A voice sounded over the earpiece Y/N was wearing before Ben or Mary could say any more, and Y/N stood again with a sigh. “Duty calls. We’ve got a transfer from a Pete Asnis?”

“That means it’s an athlete,” Ben said, beginning to walk with Y/N. “I’m going to guess Bruins, since the Red Sox didn’t play tonight.” A nurse handed Y/N a clipboard with the information on her patient as they rounded the corner to the room Y/N was bound for, and Ben stopped. “I hope nothing is broken. They can’t afford another injury.” Seriously? That’s what he was worried about? Not that the guys might have a broken bone? Y/N rolled her eyes, though she slapped on a smile as she slid into the room. 

Said Bruins player was sitting on the hospital bed clearly unhappy to be there, a scowl painting the face she was sure smiled more often than not. He was arguing with an older bald man when Y/N entered, and she knocked on the door once to gain their attention. “Hi there; I was told a,” she stopped to look at the name on the clipboard, “Jake Debrusk needed some x-rays done?” The man on the bed managed to scowl even deeper somehow, and the bald guy sighed heavily. He was clearly a trainer of some sort, dressed in his joggers and team pullover, but he also looked like this routine was far too familiar to him. “He needs a scan on his right clavicle. Took a nasty hit and heard a crack. He can’t lift his right arm past about 45°, and I’m already seeing some swelling.” 

Good. At least the trainer could tell her everything she needed. “Alrighty, let me just check out that swelling and we’ll decide if we can take that picture yet, yes?” Jake softened slightly at her smile and nodded. He had a nice face, though there was a nasty bruise forming over his eye. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N, one of the X-Ray techs here. Hopefully we can get a scan of your shoulder and get you home ASAP.” The trainer reached out a hand, introducing himself as Don Delnegro, the head trainer for the team. Jake barely acknowledged her words, and looked absolutely miserable from his seat on the bed. He began to slide his shirt off so she could get a look at his shoulder, but stopped when he jolted it. “Can I help you?” Y/N reached out her hands slowly, and when Jake nodded began to help him slide the shirt over his head without jostling his arm too much. 

The bruising on his shoulder and torso was spectacular. Of course, they were nothing compared to the muscle they were coloring, and her mouth dried a little at the beauty sitting on the hospital bed. Y/N tried to keep her reaction to a minimum, but Jake clearly caught the slight widening of her eyes. “Toronto always plays us rough. We’ve got a little bit of history.” He grinned at Y/N. “We always come out on top though.” Delnegro scoffed from behind Y/N, and she reached out a hand to feel for swelling before she lost her mind. It was definitely swollen, a bit too much to get a clear scan. 

“I have some okay news, and some bad news.” Jake groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. “Please don’t tell me you can’t do the x-ray,” he begged, “I don’t want to stay.” If it weren’t for how childish and dramatic he sounded, Y/N probably would have been a little offended. Hospitals weren’t for everyone, but she liked it here. “So bad news, you’re too swollen for a scan. Okay news, it should only be a few hours before we can scan you. You might be able to go home before morning.” Delnegro sighed and settled in. 

“You don’t have to stay, you can go home.” Jake looked at the older man almost apologetically, like he felt bad about an injury outside his control.

“I don’t trust you to take care of yourself. I’m staying until they discharge you.” Delnegro fixed Jake with a stare that would have had even Ben cringing, and Y/N smirked at the stubbornness of the trainer.

“You’re going to want the company, trust me. It may be a couple of hours before we can get the scan.” Y/N spoke before she could stop herself. It really wasn’t any of her business if he was alone or not. Jake took his turn to glare at someone, though Y/N was completely unimpressed. No matter how threatening he tried to look, the guy just didn’t look mean. Her pager signaled a new patient that needed scanning, and Y/N sighed. No more time for conversation. “A nurse will be in to check on you every hour or so, and when they let me know the swelling is down I’ll come back.” She smiled at the two men one more time and slipped out the door once they nodded. 

Now to find someone to check in on him. If he was a professional athlete, the hospital big-wigs were probably expecting her to give him preferential treatment. They had when one of the Patriots players had hurt himself during a workout. Dealing with the business side of hospitals, the one that didn’t put patients first, was her least favorite part of the job. Mary was power-walking down the hallway when Y/N walked out of the room, and she flagged her down. “I’ve got a possible broken clavicle with a good amount of swelling in this room,” she said when they met halfway, “do you know who’s got him?” Mary looked down at her clipboard and then at the door Y/N came from. 

“I do. You want me to let you know when the swelling is good for a scan?” Y/N smiled. Mary could read her mind. “If you wouldn’t mind,” Y/N said gratefully. Mary nodded her confirmation, and Y/N headed towards her next patient. Broken wrist and a possible concussion. Jesus. The game must have been pretty wild. 

It was yet another hockey fan, this one in blue and white, Toronto’s colors. He was so drunk Y/N could smell the alcohol as he entered the room, and she tried not to gag as she positioned him to get scans of his wrist. “Those motherfuckers think they own us just because they win more often than we do. News flash, we have more cups than they do.” Y/N nodded silently as the man ranted, though she almost wanted to ask him what the hell he was talking about. Cups? Own who? Rivalries made no sense. “And do you know that a whole bunch of those assholes decided it’d be a good idea to start a fight in the middle of the goddamn game? My team was winning and they decide they’re gonna start making jokes about choking? Not on my watch.” These people are crazy, Y/N decided. No sport was worth a broken bone and a concussion. Alcohol and sports don’t mix. 

She finally got the scan, after telling the man several times to stop moving while the machine was working, and it was indeed broken. She gave the scans over to the nurse with the instruction that it was a clean break and then slumped at her desk for a breather. Ben stopped into her space with the coffee she’d ordered, and Y/N jumped up to hug him. He laughed as she sighed heavily into his shoulder. “That guy you just scanned was something else. I could hear him yelling from down the hall.” Y/N sighed again and then stepped back. 

“I appreciate this coffee more than you and Kevin could ever understand.” It was scalding, clearly fresh from the coffee shop across the street, and Y/N drank as much of it as she could. Yes, she needed this. Ben raised his eyebrows. “You know,” he said teasingly, “I’m not going to take it away if you don’t suck it all down right away.” Y/N shoved his shoulder, and they walked together back into the hallway. “How’s our Bruin? Mary said it was too swollen to do anything with so far.” Y/N nodded. She had forgotten Ben was a fan and would want to know how he was holding up. “I’m not asking just as a fan,” he said, almost like he knew what she was thinking. “He’s my patient. Just wanted to see what I was going to be working with.” He bumped Y/N’s shoulder and smiled when she glared up at him. 

Ben was like the big brother she’d never had, and she would never admit how much stupid things like that meant to her. He cared enough to jostle her around or make sure she ate dinner when the shifts got crazy. “The team trainer was with him, and he said that arm movement was limited to lifting below 45°, and he was having a lot of trouble moving. I had to help him take his shirt off.” Ben smirked, and Y/N groaned. He was not about to make a pervy joke. “No, Benjamin, I did not just want his clothes off. It was just as much a test of his range of motion as it was to check on the swelling.” She punched his shoulder. “Get your head out of the damn gutter.” Ben’s laughter followed her all the way down the hall as he left, and Y/N had to bite her lip to keep from laughing too. She may not have wanted his shirt off for that reason, but the muscles underneath definitely hadn’t been a sacrifice to look at.

It took almost 3 hours before the swelling went down enough for Y/N to get a scan of Jake’s shoulder. It was indeed broken, and some muscle was torn. Y/N bit her lip as she scanned the x-ray alongside Ben. It looked bad. He would be out a few weeks at least, more if the tearing didn’t heal properly. Ben sighed heavily. “He’s done for the rest of the season. No way he plays with this.” Y/N felt a sudden rush of sadness for the athlete in the room behind them. She may not have been a sports fan, but this was his livelihood. It would be like telling her she couldn’t come to the hospital for a month. 

Y/N let Ben go so he could break the news to Delnegro and Jake, and she went looking for Mary at the nurse’s station. “A clean break, and some muscle damage.” Mary looked up from the salad she was devouring, her fork freezing halfway up to her mouth. “Ben said he’d be out the rest of the season. Poor guy.” Mary frowned. “Hopefully they don’t let him come back in a week or two,” she said heavily, “it is the playoffs. Sometimes they do that.” There was no way that guy would be skating in a week, let alone playing in a game. Mary took a bite of her salad, chewing thoughtfully.

Ben appeared at Y/N’s side, apparently done giving the diagnosis to Jake. “I know it seems crazy, but he’s actually played through a pretty serious concussion before. And one of his teammates played through a couple of broken ribs and a punctured lung. The lung actually collapsed during a game, and he spent 3 days here.” Y/N stared up at Ben horrified, and she knew Mary was making the same face. “It’s the culture of the game. You pretend you’re not injured until you drop.” What a horrible game. 

Y/N shook her head in disgust. “Thank you for reminding me why I’m not a sports fan. That’s absolutely disgusting. How irresponsible could those doctors be that they let them play like that?” Ben shrugged like he had no idea, and Y/N scoffed. Sports were ridiculous. 

She ran into Jake and Delnegro again as they were discharging, running into one another at the doors. “Thanks for all your help, Ms. Y/L/N,” Jake said sincerely. He held out his left hand for a fist bump, and Y/N chuckled. Delnegro held out a hand for a handshake, and Y/N smiled at him as well.

“It was nice to meet you both,” she said. “Please heal up and don’t do anything stupid.” Delnegro laughed as Jake looked at her in shock. “One of my coworkers mentioned you boys like to pretend you’re not injured. Broken clavicles aren’t anything to mess with.” She nodded at them both with another smile, walking off in the direction of her car while Jake stood there flustered. A wild end to a wild night. 

_______________________________________________________________

Jake did indeed go back early, a little over two-and-a-half weeks later, and Y/N had the game on in the break room just to keep an eye on him. She could only check in for a minute at a time, but those minutes pieced together gave her a new appreciation for the game. The game was so fast, and she had to admit watching them hit each other was a rush. It was all fine until the third period, when he took a hit and went down hard. Ben happened to be in the room with Y/N when it happened and he swore viciously, something about a cheap shot and a dirty player. “That was the bad side,” Y/N said anxiously. Jake stayed down on the ice, and the pain was evident on his face. “Why isn’t he getting up?” Ben swore, shaking his head. 

“You’d better get ready, shorty. Your favorite patient is coming back.” Ben laughed when Y/N punched his shoulder in response. Ben used humor to cope, and he was clearly upset to see a patient and a player on the team he loves injured again. Or still injured. There was no way that clavicle and muscle damage was already healed completely. Y/N sighed heavily and trudged out of the break room. A call for the transfer and scans would be coming any second. 

Sure enough it did, less than ten minutes later, and Y/N was accepting a coffee from Kevin as he came in for his shift. “Heard you got the Bruins player again. Good luck. They lost tonight. He won’t be happy.” Y/N groaned. Not only did she get an idiot that didn’t know how to let himself heal, but she was getting an idiot that was going to be an asshole too. Kevin patted Y/N’s shoulder as the man himself strode past the pair at the nurse’s station, Delnegro by his side again. “Whelp duty calls, shorty. Good luck.” Y/N took off after the pair, intercepting them before they reached a room. 

Y/N touched Jake’s left arm gently, though she stepped back when she saw the intensity and anger in his eyes. He hadn’t looked this threatening a couple of weeks ago. “Why don’t we go ahead and get you scanned real quick, if there isn’t too much swelling.” She shook the anger off. Being intimidated wouldn’t help anyone. Jake’s eyes softened slightly as he took Y/N in, and he reached out his hand awkwardly for a shake. “Welcome back,” she said with a small grin, “I was hoping I wouldn’t see you back here. I told you not to do anything stupid.” Jake barked out a laugh, and Y/N thought she saw a small smile on Delnegro’s face.

“Sorry, Ms. Y/L/N,” Jake said sheepishly, “it’s the playoffs.” Yeah, she’d heard all about it. He remembered where her machines were, and Y/N was kind of unsettled at how normal it was for him to be back in the room getting scanned again. Hopefully he wouldn’t make this a regular occurrence. “So,” Jake began as she moved him into position for the scan, “the doc from a couple of weeks ago said you weren’t a sports fan.” Damn him.

Y/N ignored Jake’s eyes as she finished arranging his arm, though she answered him as she walked across the room for the kevlar apron. “I’m not. My mom wasn’t and it was just her when I was a kid. I never got the appeal.”

Jake groaned. “How can you live in Boston and not like sports? All the teams are good!” He looked so sincere, and for the first time Y/N felt a pang of loneliness for not being a sports fan. It was rare to find someone in the city that didn’t care about at least one of the teams, she knew that. “So look: our season is over after our loss tonight, but the playoffs are still going on. If I promise to be good and not injure my shoulder more, will you watch a game with me? I’ll explain the sport and maybe we can make you into a hockey fan.” Y/N opened her mouth to refuse, probably make some sort of excuse about him being a patient, but Jake hurriedly continued. “I was planning on coming back here once the season was over and asking you out. Since the season is over and I’m already here, I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone. It doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be, but I’d love for you to see how beautiful the game really is.” 

Well, when he put it that way. “Sure,” Y/N said, surprising herself. “I’d like that.” The smile that lit up Jake’s face made one night of sports well-worth it. Maybe she would become a hockey fan after all. 

[anna-justice]

Lost or Found - 12

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

12 - Need You Now ...

Jay clenched his jaw as he took the man’s hand. He wanted nothing more than to sock him square in the face--a thought that was becoming a pattern--and tell him to get the hell out. But, that was a sure way to get himself thrown out, and he refused to let Hailey wake up alone in this horrible situation. So, he bit his tongue and played nice. “You too, sir. Wish it was under better circumstances.” Jay said, forcing a smile. It was true, he did wish that they had met under better circumstances, for two reasons. One being that her dad wasn’t a sadistic asswhole and two being that he wished he was in a position to beat the shit out of him. 

Eldon nodded, agreeing with the young man standing in front of him, none-the wiser of his bubbling hatred. He wrapped an arm around his wife and thankfully didn’t notice Jay’s not so subtle flinch. 

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, Jay had once again sat down in the seat adjacent to Hailey’s bed while Anne and Eldon pulled chairs up next to her. Jay’s knee bounced nervously, he was wondering how long it took to buy a sandwich and where Trudy was. He wanted to leave and remove himself from the terrible silence, but the thought of Hailey waking up to face her father without him was as appealing as drinking battery acid. Instead, he sent a quick text to Adam, hoping he would come and share his wit and charm with the group.

Jay: Hailey’s parents are here…

Less than five seconds later, he replied.

Ruzey Ruzek: Are you serious?

Jay: Deadass

Jay: I’m gonna kill him if you don’t come stop me

Ruzey Ruzek: Don’t do that…

Ruzey Ruzek: A hospital is a terrible place to kill someone

Ruzey Ruzek: If you are going to murder him, put a little more effort in. For me?

Jay rolled his eyes, he was thankful for his best friend who was obviously trying to distract him. He also took notice of the fact that yet again, Adam had changed his contact information to something stupid. 

Jay: I hate you

Adam Ruzek: No you don’t

Adam Ruzek: You love me

Jay: Whatever

Adam Ruzek: Love you too bestie ;)

Jay: Stop being a little shit pls

Jay: This is not good

Adam Ruzek: I know

Adam Ruzek: Let me talk to Kim and then I’ll come down there

Jay: Thanks

Adam Ruzek: Ofc

Jay let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding, relaxing into his chair a bit more. At least with Adam here he wouldn’t have to bear the hostility alone. 

“So. Jay, tell me about yourself.” Eldon said, turning to face him. “Anne made it sound like you and Hailey are very close.” 

Jay leaned forward in his chair, deciding that a faked conversation was better than deafening silence. Plus, he couldn’t risk Hailey’s dad thinking he knew anything, he didn’t want to put her or her mom in harms way. “We are, she’s my best friend.” He said honestly, with a soft smile.

“I hope you have only pure intentions with my daughter…” Eldon threatened, a eyebrow cocked.

Jay fought off the urge to scoff, “The purest.” 

Eldon nodded, feigning relief. “Good.” Jay was convinced he was only speaking to keep up appearances. “You play any sports son?” 

“Baseball.” Jay said courtly, his own father wouldn’t own up to him being his son, he didn’t need anyone calling him that, let alone an abusive arse. 

“Hailey’soldest brother went to college on a baseball scholarship!” Anne said, piping in. Jay gave her a big smile, happy to transfer the conversation to her. 

“Really? Where?” Jay asked, genuinely interested.

Anne beamed,“Indiana State.” 

“Wow, you must be proud.” Jay said.

“We are.” Eldon cut in, a little too harsh for Jay’s liking. 

Just like that the almost friendly conversation was over and the silence returned, Jay was about to text Adam to ask him where he was when Trudy came bounding into the room holding a pizza box. Her jaw dropped and Jay stood immediately. Her eyes met his and then focused back on the couple in front of her. “What the hell are you doing here?”

…

Kevin sat in the locker room with Matt Casey and Connor Rhodes after their saturday morning practice. He hated that he couldn’t be with his friends at the hospital, but football season stopped for no man and he was counting on impressing college scouts a year early.

“You coming to the party tonight?” Connor askes. Kevin shakes his head and Connor rolls his eyes. “Of course you aren’t, you haven’t been to any in months. Matt?”

Matt shakes his head as well. “Can’t, I have a date with Sylvie.” 

Before Connor can respond, Kevin claps his teammate and friend on the back. “Man, you’ve been crushing on her for like a year now.” He teases and Matt smiles big. “Congrats.”

“Thanks.” Matt says, “I’m really excited, really nervous and really worried that I’m going to screw this up.” 

Kevin is taken aback by the blondes sudden outburst of transparency, Matt wasn’t usually one for sharing his feelings. Anxiety must be his truth serum. “Where are you taking her?” 

“Molly’s, you know it? I think it’s perfect, not too fancy but enough to make a good impression. Plus, the owner works with Wallace.” Matt explained and Kevin knew exactly what place Matt was talking about. He had gone there for Kim’s birthday last year with the rest of their friends. 

Kevin picked up his bag and waved goodbye to Connor who was heading out. “Sounds perfect man, she’ll love it.”

“Thanks.” Matt said, he grabbed his bag and followed Kevin out of the locker room. “I heard about Kim and Hailey, how are they doing?”

Kevin sighed, “Last I heard, Hailey hadn’t woken up yet and Kim was doing good, no hearing loss like they had expected.”

“Damn, that’s great about Kim, but Hailey’s not out of the woods yet?” Matt asked.

Kevin shrugged, “Not that I know of.” There was a hint of sadness to his voice unrelated to his friends current state. The balance in the group was off and Kevin was taking the brunt of it. When Erin was alive, there were six of them. He always had someone to pair off with whether it was Adam, Kim or Hailey. Now there were five and as happy as he was for his friends, it was hard being the fifth wheel. 

He and Kim had been friends for years, that’s how he was brought into the group, it just happened that he knew Adam and Jay and clicked with them well. He was a little jealous if he was being honest, not only did he not always have the time to be totally  invested like the rest of them, but any time he did he felt like he was being held at an arms length. Kevin wanted to have a person, like Hailey was to Jay (anyone who wasn’t blind could see it, and even then they probably knew) or Kim was to Adam. He had been interested in Nadia at first, but her obvious feelings for Jay caused his to fade fast. Besides it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, Erin got rid of her at the first sign of weakness. 

Kevin bid goodbye to Matt and made his way to his old jeep, still wrapped up in his own thoughts. He felt guilty placing blame on a dead girl, but he couldn’t help but think that all of this was Erin’s fault. He wasn’t usually the one to displace emotion, he grew up in a household where they were almost too out in the open. However, his hatred for Erin--or the dramatics that surrounded her for that matter--was increasing by the day. He had no idea how she got herself in the situation she was in and he sure a hell didn’t understand how she dragged the rest or them and their families into it.

When he got home he found Vinessa playing in the family room and his mom in the kitchen. He said hello to his mother and told her about practice before sitting down to play with Vinessa. She had a barbie in her hand, and Kevin knew for a fact that she didn’t have any barbies. Taking a closer look over her shoulder, Kevin realized that it was no normal doll. It looked exactly like Erin.

…

Jay dropped his gaze to his phone and shot Adam a quick text.

Jay: Abort abort

Jay: Trudy is here

Eldon slowly stands and gives his sister-in-law a fake smile. “Checking on my only daughter, since you were so forth coming on her condition when you called.”

Trudy set the pizza down on the small table near the door and took a step toward him. “You are not welcome here. You need to leave.” 

Jay looked back and forth between them, trying to decipher where this was going. “What are you going to do Trudy? Call security? I haven’t done anything…”

“Like hell…” Jay said under his breath, Eldon’s head whipped around and Jay realized that his thought that slipped had not been as quiet as he hoped. 

Eldon was seething, Jay was convinced that he had literal steam coming out of his ears. “What did you say?” He took a step towards Jay and Anne reached out to grab his arm.

“Eldon--”

He ripped his arm from her grip, “Don’t touch me.” Anne backed away, much to Jay and Trudy’s approval. “You have no right to speak to me that way.”

Jay took a moment to consider her next move, he had already gotten himself into to some deep shit so he might as well go full send. “You have no right to smack around your wife or your daughter.” The last part came out more spat than in sentence form and Eldon clenched his fists.

The way he saw it, he had two choices: lay the kid in front of him out and high tail it out of there, or, play dumb and make him look like a idiot. He went with the latter. “I don’t know what your talking about.”

Jay scoffed, glancing at Anne who becoming one with the wall. He felt a wave of guilt wash over him, there was no doubt that he had put the woman in danger due to his anger getting the best of him. “Sure, of course you don’t. You don’t anything about the injury that damaged Hailey’s body so bad that she needed a pacemaker?” He was almost yelling and a look of shock crossed Eldon’s face. He guessed that he thought no one knew. 

“I don’t have to stay here and listen to this.” Eldon grumbled, turning to face his wife.

Jay stood his ground, determined to have the last word. “Leave.” 

Eldon shot him a glare like he had never seen before and stormed out of the room. Jay let out a sigh of relief along with Trudy, who had jumped out of the doorway to make room for the brooding man. Anne began to gather her things, grabbing her purse and pressing a chaste kiss to her daughters forehead. Jay had forgotten Hailey was still there in the midst of all the craziness. Anne reached the threshold before Trudy spoke up. “You don’t have to leave with him.” Anne gave her a teary shrug and disappeared down the hallway. 

Trudy collapsed into one of the chairs they had abandoned so quickly. “I’m sorry.” Jay said softly, his guilt eating him up.

Trudy rann her hands down her face, “You didn’t do anything wrong Jay, you did what you thought was best.” Jay shrugged, her approval doing very little to calm the pit in his stomach. “But Hailey can never know they were here.” 

Jay nods, “Yeah okay.” He took a seat next to Trudy, placing his hand over Hailey’s. He wished he could erase the past few hours, and he wished Hailey’s beautiful blue eyes would open do the pressure on his chest would lift. He was ready for the nightmare of waiting to be over. 

Hailey felt like she had been hit by a ton of bricks when she woke up, she opened her eyes and quickly shut them, groaning at the bright lights. 

Jay shot forward in his seat, “Hailey?” He gripped her hand a little harder and pulled his chair closer to the bed. 

She forced herself to open her eyes again, squinting. She recognized his voice and smiled softly. “Hey.” She croaked out, her throat dry from being asleep for so long. Hailey looked around the room and slightly nudged her head towards the pitcher of water beside her bed. Jay got the message and jumped up, getting her a glass. She gulped it down quickly, feeling a bit more like herself. Trudy announced that she was going to find a doctor, giving the two of them the room. 

“You scared me.” Jay said honestly, he had grown another set of balls since that morning. “How are you feeling?”

Hailey attempted to shrug, but it came out more of an awkward shake. “Okay, I guess.” 

Jay nodded, taking the next few moments to remind her what happened and explain their story. Thankfully Hailey remembered everything, right up to hearing his voice before she passed out. 

“How long was I out?” Hailey asked.

Jay sighed,“Since you got here last night, I’ll let the doctor explain everything.” 

“Everything?” Hailey asked, panicking a bit. She didn’t know the extent of her injuries and she had been in this position once before. It wasn’t fun. 

“Hey, hey.” Jay said, brushing a piece of tangled blonde hair behind her ear. “It’s gonna be okay, you’re going to be okay.” 

Hailey nodded, blinking back tears and deciding to change the subject. “How long have you been here?”

Jay grinned sheepishly, “Six this morning…” 

Hailey gasped, “When did you leave last night?”

“One.” Hailey was about to chew him out, but he beat her to it. “I know exactly what you are going to say and don’t you dare. I wanted to be here, I couldn’t have been anywhere else. I was going crazy at home when I was there.” 

Hailey blushed at his words, she hated that she was reacting to him this way because of their obvious situation, but she couldn't help it. The thought of him sitting in her hospital room for hours on end made her heart swell, as twisted as it was. 

“Let’s see what’s on TV…” Jay coughed, clicking the button on the remote. 

Hailey nodded, glancing past him. “Is that pizza?” 

Jay laughed and got up to get the box. He knew she probably wasn’t supposed to eat, but after his confession he would give her any distraction she wanted. 

Hailey turned her head to face the TV that was currently playing the local news. It was a press conference, the man speaking looked familiar and he was wearing a crisp uniform that she recognized. She had seen her uncle in it before. She read the heading on the bottom of the screen. 

Benjamin Severide - Office of Fire Investigation

Fire that potentially claimed the life of local teen Erin Lindsay has officially been ruled an arson.

Hailey’s eyes widened at the name. Severide. That was all the confirmation that Hailey needed, she knew she was right. Kelly’s dad worked in the very department that was controlling the investigation, if he was a part of it, they could make it go away. “Jay, look.” Jay glanced at the screen and by the look on his face, Hailey knew they were thinking the same thing. Someway, somehow, Kelly Severide was at the middle of all of it, and Hailey was going to find out exactly how.

[weedle-testaburger]

To mark the show ending, a whole load of my personal favourite bits of SU over the years

‘so i guess you could say it’s a... balanced breakfast?’ *steven’s face like melts*

steven’s funky flow

‘why did pearl throw butter out the window? to see a butterfly!’ ‘I never did that! steven, are you telling LIES?!’

the giant woman song, steven junior, steven’s reaction when he finds out he can fuse too, just everything about giant woman really

amethyst’s gem going screwed up and her talking backwards

‘i guess i’m too tough to cry’ ‘just today you were crying about snakes’ ‘they don’t have any arms’

‘no prob bob’ ‘...it’s lapis’

the whole ‘mom universe’ bit from fusion cuisine

‘tiny hands, my one weakness’

everything about alone together, i could watch that episode a million times and still adore it frankly

‘it isn’t lying when you’re the mayor, steven. it’s politics’

rose’s scabbard, just the whole episode really

the wailing stone

everything rupphire related in jail break

‘i want to be part of your universe’

garnet’s reply to jamie’s love letter (’n. o.’)

so many things in sworn to the sword- the jam buds song, do it for her, steven’s ‘how to talk to people’ book, she’s the strawberry and he’s the biscuit, WHY WON’T YOU LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU ROSE, all so good

steven’s little STORYYYY when greg tells him and connie about when he found out about fusion

amethyst going ‘hey! are you dead?’ to young greg on the beach

steven doing sadie’s performance for her when she gets stage fright in sadie’s song and saying fuck you to gender norms in the process

‘aww, you’re like an angry little slice of pie!’

steven helping peridot cope with the rain

steven spinning on the swivel chair continuously for a whole scene in back to the barn

the answer, it’s just perfect in pretty much every way really

peridot calling yellow diamond

‘i’m just trying to lion the mood. lion... the mood’

steven and lapis bonding in same old world

the baseball game in hit the diamond

mr greg, what more can i say

stevonnie realizing they don’t care about losing to kevin in beach city drift

lapis rejecting jasper in alone at sea

steven and connie camping in the cave in gem hunt and they’re ‘you’re the best!’ ‘nuh-uh, you’re the best’ thing in crack the whip

stevonnie coming to amethyst’s rescue when jasper poofs her

the crystal gems all being buds with bismuth

bismuth admitting to steven he’s braver than rose was

peridot discovering her metal moving powers and steven and amethyst forming smokey quartz for the first time

‘eyeball, army, leggy, navy and... doc’

the gems comforting steven when he escapes from the bubble at the end of bubbled

peridot failing to capture the corrupted gem and ‘THIS IS LIFE FOR YOU NOW! END-LESS-SUFFERING!’ in the kindergarten kid

sardonyx’s talk show in know your fusion

steven’s bald cap, garnet’s ‘go steven + connie/go stevonnie’ sign, here comes a thought and connie comforting steven from mindful education

pearl being gay for mystery girl and getting her number in last one out of beach city

uncle andy’s first impression of lapis and peridot being ‘I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE! YOU’RE HIPPIES!’

everyone choosening gareg

what’s the use of feeling blue

GO, CRYSTAL TEMPS! (i kinda wish we got another crystal temps episode ngl)

steven getting to interact with and then confront rose in storm in the room

topaz almost freeing steven and lars after their heart-to-heart

meeting the off-colours and steven bringing lars back to life

sadie bonding with the cool kids and forming their band

‘jam buds?’ ‘jam buds’

‘bingo-bongo’

all the blessed stevonnie screentime in jungle moon

garnet’s motivational story in your mother and mine

the cute af behind the scenes band documentary in the big show

garnet meeting and adopting cat steven

finding out steven was reading lars’ letter out while sticking out of his head in letters to lars

that distant shore, it took lapis 5 seasons to get a song but it was so worth it

the pink diamond reveal (and how everyone lost their shit over it)

pearl revealing the truth about her and pink/rose

ruby rider and the proposal in the question (oh and ‘psst. it’s me. i’m a horse’)

the rupphire wedding, lapis coming back, how greg put steven to sleep, and ‘THIS IS OUR HOME! OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY! WE ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS!’ in reunited

pink’s leg ship

familiar (the song)

connie convincing steven to fuse in together alone

everything- just EVERYTHING- about change your mind and the movie. i can’t even pick favourite moments from either tbh they’re both just gorgeous from start to finish

jasper getting ludicrously excited about fighting in little homeschool

amethyst, pearl and greg’s reactions to the rose quartzes in rose buds

steven naming white pearl volleyball, and pearl and volleyball comforting each other and bonding

eyeball and aquamarine basically fusing out of their hatred for steven and his done look when they do

steven ‘dying’ in a very special episode

pearl overcoming her dislike of fusion to play steven tag

why so blue (the song)

the off colours graduating, shep and looking forward now from little graduation

steven and peridot bonding over how much the cph reboot sucks

stevonnie’s dance in bismuth casual, idk about anyone else but i literally cried

i’d rather be me with you and connie and garnet comforting steven after the proposal (’is it a no?’ ‘it’s a not now, steven’ still kinda makes me cry)

priyanka inadvertently making steven confront all his childhood trauma at once and greg coming to comfort him in growing pains

steven and greg’s argument about their upbringing in mr universe

‘i bow to your strength, my diamond’

basically everything spinel does in homeworld bound she’s a slapstick queen

all the dumb stuff steven does by accident in everything’s fine

THE GEMS RECOGNIZING THEY HURT STEVEN AND ALL OF THEM COMING TO HELP CORRUPTED BOI

just all the callbacks and cute stuff in the finale, i defy anyone not to cry

just. this whole show is wonderful and amazing and i’m never gonna get over it, thank you for everything crewniverse

[atsixesandcevans]

Light

Summary: Jake is awed by their newborn baby girl, and promises to look after her, no matter what. Inspired by the song 'Light' by Sleeping At Last.

Pairing: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: nothing, just pure, tooth-rotting fluff

A/N: I wrote and posted this a couple years ago, but with all the ‘Trying’ talk going on, I thought it was an appropriate time to share it here :)

Read on AO3

May these words be the first to find your ears. 

About an hour after the last visitor left the room, Amy, Jake and their baby girl – Jelly Bean, as Jake had taken to fondly calling her while they decide on a name – were left in a moment of peace. Their whirlwind day drew to a close, just as the rest of the city started theirs.   

The world is brighter than the sun now that you’re here.   

He glanced over to the bed, where Amy slept soundly, exhausted by the day’s events. Strands of hair had fallen from her usually-neat ponytail, framing her makeup-free face. She had tried to push Jake away when he tried to kiss her earlier, saying that she hadn’t showered in days and her skin was still clammy from sweat. But in that moment, sweaty-faced and exhausted, Amy was the most beautiful he had ever seen her.   

Though your eyes will need some time to adjust to the overwhelming light surrounding us…   

Sunlight began to flood the room, the warm light giving an ethereal quality to the otherwise fairly clinical space. Jake watched as the light fell on Amy’s still-sleeping face, highlighting and accentuating every contour of her complexion. Not wanting to disturb her well earned rest, Jake stood to close the curtains before moving to marvel at their peaceful baby girl.   

I’ll give you everything I have, I’ll teach you everything I know.   

Jake gently reached into the cot, hands sliding under Jelly Bean’s tiny body (seriously, were all babies this small?) and lifted her slowly, careful not to disturb her and consequently Amy. He sat down on the little sofa at the edge of the room, placing Jelly Bean along the length of his thighs, adjusting the pink wooly hat on her head.   

I promise I’ll do better.   

Better than my father did. The words, though unsaid, linger in Jake’s mind, taking him back to the numerous reassurances Amy had whispered into his ear during those late-night breakdowns where Jake was filled with fear – fear of becoming like his father.

“You’ll do better than him, Jake,” Amy had told him then. “We’ll do so much better than your dad ever did.”

Those words calmed him then, and continued to do so, through every doubt he had had over the past nine months. They had been enough to calm him, but he had never truly believed them.

Until now.   

I will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go.   

She shifted slightly, flexing her little fists and kicking around with all the force of a butterfly, causing Jake’s heart to melt and a warmth spread through his entire body at the impossibly perfect creature they had created. He vowed he would never leave her – either of them – and swore to hold them close as much as he possibly could.   

I promise I’ll do better.   

Jake repeated the sentiment in his head like a mantra, over and over, all throughout the pregnancy, until he finally started to believe it.   

I will soften every edge, I’ll hold the world to its best.   

With a certainty Jake hadn’t felt since he finally told Amy he loved her, he knew that he and Amy would bring up their child the best that they possibly can, and create a future for her that they would later be proud of.   

And I’ll do better.

With every heartbeat I have left, I will defend your every breath.   

With an overwhelming sense of determination, Jake knew, and promised that he would do anything and everything he could to protect their daughter – although, in the back of his mind, Jake knew that she wouldn’t need his protection. Growing up with three such strong, kick-ass women, some of that strength was bound to rub off (or, in Rosa’s case, be affectionately forced) on her.      

And I’ll do better.        

’Сause you are loved, you are loved more than you know. I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so.   

Jake’s heart was fit to burst with happiness, with pride, with love for his wife and daughter. He was proud to be brining her into an environment so full of love; from Amy, who spent 10 hours in unimaginable pain to bring their baby into the world; Charles, who had signed himself up for babysitting duty not two minutes after they announced the pregnancy; Rosa, who pretended not to care but would sit, drink and listen to Jake’s worried about becoming a dad and promised to teach their kid self defence when they became of age; Gina, who, despite claiming to hate pregnancy, spent every waking minute making sure Amy was comfortable, painting her toenails when her bump meant she couldn’t do it herself, insisting on bringing her endless mugs of herbal tea when Jelly Bean was being particularly active; Terry, who had effectively taught Jake all he knew about parenting, from books, movies (by Jake’s insistence) and his own knowledge, and would later give Jake endless advice when he worried that he was doing everything wrong; and Captain Holt, who teared up a little when he and Kevin came to visit, who was unable to speak because his overwhelming emotion formed a lump in his throat, and so gave a single nod of approval at the sight of Jelly Bean in Amy’s arms… His family. His weird, wonderful, loving family, which was now Jelly Bean’s too.  

Though your heart is far too young to realize the unimaginable light you hold inside…  

He wondered, then, how something so small and innocent could possibly exist in a world so full of hatred and greed. How the universe that created such horrible, corrupt people could be the same universe that created both of the sources of his sudden, overwhelming happiness.   

I’ll give you everything I have, I’ll teach you everything I know.   

Years later, when Jelly Bean is old enough, Jake will teach her all he knows; he’ll introduce her to die hard and, much to Amy’s displeasure, will become her favourite movie too; he’ll teach her how to make Nana Peralta’s chocolate chip cookies and help her sell them outside their home to raise money for her friend who’s ill; he’ll be absolutely doted to her, the newfound light of his life.   

I promise I’ll do better.  

I will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go. 

In years to come, Jake would hold this promise countless times, after arguments (she would grow to be as stubborn as her mother, and occasionally, their stubbornness would clash) and breakups, he would be there, for both of them. Jake would also develop a protective streak over his only daughter, and would eventually, reluctantly, take a step back and let her live, with strong persuasion from Amy.   

I promise I’ll do better.  

I will rearrange the stars, pull them down to where you are.   

Jake made a silent promise to himself, to Amy, to their newborn daughter, to do whatever it takes to make them both happy. He knew this was already the case, of course, but he hadn’t realised how far he would willingly go; he’d reorganise the galaxy – the sun, the moon, and any number of stars – if that’s what they wanted him to do.   

I promise I’ll do better.  

With every heartbeat I have left, I’ll defend your every breath.   

Feeling his eyes well up with emotion, Jake leans down and gently presses a kiss to Jelly Bean’s forehead, smiling against her skin as she gurgles quietly to herself.   

I promise I’ll do better.   

I will soften every edge, hold the world to its best.   

I promise I’ll do better.  

With every heartbeat I have left, I’ll defend your every breath.   

He looks again at Amy, now awake, with tear tracks running down her cheeks at the sight of her husband and daughter. She places her phone on the bedside table, the image of Jake with his lips pressed to Jelly Bean’s head the newest addition to her camera roll. They lock eyes, still filled with unshed tears, and send each other wide, disbelieving grins as Jelly Bean faintly sneezes in Jake’s lap.     

(I’ll do better.) 

[boyfriem-moved]

the foxhole court bad

(aka the eden’s twilight chapter is gross, the thanksgiving chapter is also gross, andriel is an abusive ship, and nicky and andrew are two terrible people being terrible to each other, a passionate essay by a dude who’s real sick and tired of this garbage)

I was gonna try to reread the whole series so I could factually and definitively prove that tfc sucks once and for all but after 2 chapters I concluded that reading it again was killing my last 3 brain cells, so I stuck with rereading the worst two chapters and gathering a few other moments I thought were noteworthy, and we’re just gonna have to go from there. I’m gonna discuss a bunch of stuff so I’m putting the entire meta under the cut. Also! If you have no idea what tfc is and follow me for other reasons but are intrigued by my hatred I doubt you could get through this whole thing without being bored. I’ve made a couple short posts saying what’s wrong with tfc, most recently this one here, which you could read instead of this long ass mess. 

If you know nothing about tfc and still wanna read, trigger warning for mentions of drug abuse, rape, physical abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, sexual abuse (both of children and adults... well of one adult who was once a child), actually. all abuse. just. don’t read if you’re triggered by any general categories of abuse

You still here? So sorry about that. Now let’s get going! 

I can’t deny that there’s some sort of appeal to tfc. “Sports team for fucked up weirdos” is an interesting concept and one that can draw you in, if it’s done well. But Nora Sakavic thrives on shock value and can’t write to save her life, so it’s not done well. It’s done very, very badly. Now I’m not here to complain about the terrible writing (even though I could, believe me). I’m here to complain about how Nora writes like she gets into tumblr discourse with teenagers and makes anti blocklists. So we’ll just go in chronological order, because I think it makes the most sense that way. 

Eden’s Twilight

Up until the Eden’s Twilight chapter, the bad parts are more or less excusable. Andrew is...being Andrew, but the book has just begun, and as long as he doesn’t get any worse he’s bound to have some character development soon (which ha funny joke but we’re hopeful, the night’s still young). Nicky is likable and seemingly the good guy who’s said maybe a couple iffy things, Aaron isn’t noteworthy (and boy does he stay that way), and we haven’t seen much of Kevin’s “fun alcoholism” yet. 

And then there’s Eden’s Twilight.  The setup to the chapter has a couple interesting moments, most notably Nicky pushing Neil to take out his contacts despite the knowledge that it makes him deeply uncomfortable because everyone just bends to the fucking whim of Andrew apparently (a running theme that I’ll get to later) and a gross bit of setup where Nicky comes onto Neil and Andrew threatens to kill him. 

“...his happy expression faltered when he got a good look at Neil. “Oh man. Neil, you clean up good. Can I say that, or is that against the rules? Just--damn. Aaron, don’t let me get too drunk tonight.” (tfc pg 129)

(Nicky is an adult with a fiancee who he allegedly loves. Neil is 18. Just in case anyone’s forgotten.)

Then they go and buy some drugs! Nora shows a worrying misunderstanding of how drug withdrawal works (Nora do even one ounce of research for your shitty book please ma’am I’m begging you) and they buy some drugs with vague side effects (I have no idea if the stuff they take is based off real world drugs and I’d rather not find out) in a scene that seems unrealistic but I couldn’t tell you for sure (never bought drugs. not about to ask the people in my life who have.). They buy their drugs, Andrew takes some drugs, Nora continues to know nothing about withdrawal, they go to a nightclub! The night is still young!

And now comes the big problem area. 

Their nightclub adventures begin with a complicit bartender who says, “Back so soon, Andrew? Who’s your newest victim?” (tfc pg 133). On a later page it’s established that the bartender was spiking Neil’s drinks and fully aware of everything the siblings planned to do (as is routine with them? apparently?) so. Fun guy. 

They do some drugs, drink some alcohol. Neil refuses to do both. Andrew and Nicky are adamant about him doing drugs with them, but he refuses, so they concede. 

“Drink with us if you won’t dust with us,” Nicky said, holding his open packet in one hand and his shot in the other. 

And Neil does. Because there’s no reason not to, really. Andrew’s gang accepted it when he said he didn’t drink. They’ve so far not forced him to do anything he doesn’t want to. He watched the bartender pour his drink. He has no reason to suspect he won’t be fine. 

So, of course, his drink is drugged, and Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky hold him down as he tries to run away. The twins force him onto the dance floor, then leave him with Nicky, reigning defender for World’s Most Predatory Man. 

“Bodies and lights blurred around him, making Neil nauseous. He clawed bloody lines down Nicky’s arm as he fought to get free. Nicky didn’t let go until they’d reached the middle of the dance floor. He pulled Neil up against him and caught Neil’s chin in his fingers to force his head back.  Nicky’s kiss was harder than Neil expected it to be, and there was more than just tongue in it. Beneath the burn of vodka Nicky shared with him was the sweet tang of cracker dust. Neil didn’t mean to swallow, but it hurt too much to hold it in his mouth.  “This is how the game goes,” Nicky said against his lips. “Stop fighting if you want to survive.” (tfc pg 136)

Nicky is a good guy of the story. Not only that, he’s a fan favorite character. This isn’t even a chapter people gloss over to glorify their faves, either. People often point to this chapter and the surrounding scenes as one of the series’ most iconic moments. Neil’s night ends with him paying a bartender to knock him unconscious to put an end to the drugged abuse, which can be found near the top of pretty much everyone’s “top ten iconic Neil Josten moments” lists.  This scene is fucking disgusting. He’s forcefully assaulted, allowed and encouraged by Andrew, who’s supposedly the force keeping Nicky in line, and who told him earlier in the chapter not to try anything. Aaron and Kevin are complicit in this, as is the bartender. As are the rest of the team members and Coach Wymack, even if it’s to a far lesser extent, because though they’re horrified that Andrew and his gang brought Neil to the club, they’re not surprised. For people who seemed to know it was coming, they did an awfully lax job of keeping Neil safe though they claim that’s their top priority, and Wymack hardly reprimands Andrew. And no one even shifts blame towards Nicky, despite the fact that he’s the worst person here out of all of them.

People tend to ignore Nicky in general when it comes to how bad of people all these characters are. Which is weird, because Nicky is a horrific predator, and this scene can’t be excused. Though he never assaults Neil again, he continues to be interested in him up until his lackluster apology (which, by the way, does not excuse his actions in this chapter so fuck off if you’re gonna say it does), and it’s pretty clearly implied that he only stops flirting uncomfortably with Neil (who, side note, is still barely not a child) because Andrew forces him to, and not because of any personal growth. 

This should be the end of my explanation of why these books are terrible. Writing a scene like this, in which the assaulters are the good guys of the story and will, throughout the next three books, improve as people by exactly 0%, is reprehensible. There’s no coming back from that. But some of you obviously disagree, so let’s keep going. 

There’s more scenes like this, one in particular, but I’m gonna talk about it later. My point is just that “token gay character is a blatant predator” is not a good look, especially when written by a straight woman.

Thanksgiving

Nora Sakavic would not know how to write a rape victim if one punched her in the face and told her she was a horrible writer. I wish I didn’t have to say more. But I obviously do, so let’s go. 

(as always: necessary disclaimer that I am not a csa survivor and if anyone out there is and disagrees with me I’m more than willing to hear you out, however, i don’t think it takes one to tell that Nora Sakavic is a Fraud And Hack) 

This one wasn’t quite as hard to reread as the Eden’s Twilight chapter, probably because even though the acts are worse, it doesn’t have a bad message overall. The rapist is, thank god, the bad guy in this one. 

It does, however, have problems. Because Nora is still unable to write about serious issues without incorporating scenes purely for the purpose of shock value. 

Like, y’all, it’s really not hard to say “this character was raped as a child and has problems with consent and intimacy because of it”. You don’t need to bring the rapist into the story and have them rape the character again only for the main characters to walk in on it and kill the rapist with a lacrosse racket. 

Oh yeah, spoilers, that’s exactly what happens.  

The chapter starts out fine. If anything, it’s tame for a chapter of a book out of The World’s Most Unnecessarily Over The Top Book Series. 

The basic setup is: Nicky’s parents have invited him and the twins home for Thanksgiving after being estranged for 5 years. Andrew refuses to go. He won’t tell anyone why, but after a talk with him Neil learns that it’s because he was raped by his stepbrother and when he confided in Nicky’s dad about it, Nicky’s dad told him it was a misunderstanding. 

Y’all know what that is? Perfectly fucking adequate writing. We learn this thing about Andrew’s past. He has, for probably the only time in this entire series, adequate motivation to do something. But Ms. Sakavic, known Fraud And Hack, said fuck that. We need more. We need to really know what Andrew went through. “Like in a longer conversation sequence?” Someone sensible asked. Nora shook her head. “Like in the second worst scene I have ever written because I am a Fraud And Hack.” 

So they go to Nicky’s house for Thanksgiving! This also gives Nora a chance to remind us all that she is a straight woman and Nicky is a gay stereotype. Andrew is on edge the entire time, but Neil manages to keep him under control for the most part. Then we learn that Nicky’s dad invited Andrew’s rapist ex-stepbrother to the house. And than they’re upstairs together. Alone. 

So y’know, Neil and Aaron run upstairs, break down the door, there’s a page and a half of description of the scene of Andrew about to get raped before their very eyes, Aaron kills the rapist with a lacrosse stick (exy stick, whatever), and scene. I’m not gonna quote this one, because I don’t wanna make anyone read it, but it runs roughly from page 215-220 of The Raven King if you wanna see for yourself. Highly recommend against it. It’s nasty. 

This is a chapter that goes from 0-100 in pretty much too seconds. Someone should probably tell Nora that forcing Andrew to have dinner with the man who discredited his rape is enough digging up of his traumatic past. We don’t need to go deeper. She can stop now. She should stop now. We know Andrew’s history of csa at this point. If Nora thought that wasn’t enough, there are a million ways she could go more in depth without doing this. This scene doesn’t even go more in depth. In terms of advancements in the story, all that happens is that Aaron, Kevin, and Nicky find out about Andrew’s past (something that could have happened in so many different ways) and Aaron kills a man (which doesn’t actually matter because it takes no toll on him and is never mentioned again because nora is a fraud and hack). I was appalled and horrified the first time I read it, and rightly so, because that’s it’s only purpose. 

And putting a rape scene in a book for the sole purpose of shocking your readers is just a nasty thing to do. 

Bonus Point: Riko Moriyama Is An Evil Monster And That’s Bad Even If He Is The Villain 

Riko’s an evil monster! Yeah! Obviously! We’re glad he died! He sucks! But...he’s a very badly written evil monster, and I don’t feel like unpacking all of him, but I just want to point to a couple scenes towards the end of The Raven King real quick since they fit with the whole “Nora don’t write about rape like this” theme. 

I’m not gonna quote this one either because it’s Real Gross. But basically, Riko convinces Neil to spend winter break with him by telling him that he arranged for Andrew to get raped over Thanksgiving, and that if Neil doesn’t comply with his terms, he’s paid off one of the doctors at the psych ward Andrew is staying in and will get that doctor to rape him again. 

So that didn’t...need to happen. It’s quite frankly disgusting that Nora wrote all this (the language in this scene is very explicit). It’s disgusting that she couldn’t think of any other way to portray her villain as evil. This is bad writing. Riko doesn’t need to be cartoonishly villainous. It’s unnecessary, it’s over the top, and it’s sickening to read. 

Also? That scene at the end of The Raven King where Riko handcuffs Neil to the bed and like...stabs him and it’s never said he rapes him but he definitely rapes him because Nora’s predatory subtext is more obvious than a slap in the face? That didn’t need to happen either. 

Andriel is a terrible ship, Nora you FRAUD AND HACK

So Andrew and Neil get together in the last book, because every series written by a straight woman needs a super unhealthy gay relationship for fangirls to call cute.

(This one is...weird because a lot of the fanbase are gay themselves, but I’ve heard there’s gay people who like the captive prince too so. i guess it just be like that sometimes.)

I don’t have time to comb through the entire book looking through problematic moments, and I wouldn’t want to. I’m just gonna grab a couple noteworthy scenes in what I hope will make an adequate outline of this fucked up relationship. 

The Foxhole Court starts by setting up a running theme of Everyone Disrespecting Neil’s Boundaries All The Time with Wymack, Andrew, and Kevin coming to his high school and refusing to leave until he agrees to sign on with their Not Lacrosse team. His first meeting with Andrew is when Andrew hits him with a lacrosse racket to forcibly stop him from leaving the locker room, a pretty good encapsulation of the sort of person Andrew is. They spent the next three books allegedly falling in love.

Neil establishes boundaries. Andrew breaks them.

“I don’t need to be persuasive,” Andrew said, putting a hand to Neil’s chest as the elevator slowed to a stop. “You’ll just learn to do what I say.” 

This is on page 33 of tfc, during their second meeting. Andrew establishes that he’s controlling and manipulative pretty damn early. 

A list of other “romantic and iconic” Andriel moments include:

Andrew breaks into Neil’s room and goes through his belongings

Andrew drugs Neil and allows Nicky to assault him (after threatening to kill Nicky if he tried anything??) because he doesn’t trust him

Andrew uses threats of sharing personal information to force Neil to tell him secrets

Andrew is repeatedly physically violent (their first meeting, beating him up at Eden’s Twilight)

Andrew tells Neil’s secrets to the team psychiatrist, knowing full well it’s a betrayal of Neil’s trust

Andrew delights in Neil’s fear and goes out of his way for most of tfc to make him fear for his safety

Andrew didn’t look at Wymack. “Neil wants to come with me.”  A day ago, those words might have been an order or a threat, but today Neil heard only truth. He’d chosen the Foxes. He’d chosen to trust Andrew, whatever that meant and whatever consequences it brought down the road. (tfc pg. 152)

After that quote the moments are harder to spot (read: I reread less of trk and none of tkm so I don’t have any bookmarks to turn to), but they are still there. The last moment there is from trk, so the abuse doesn’t stop, I’m just too exhausted to keep looking. 

And let me be clear, that quote is barely consent. Andrew physically and psychologically abuses Neil into the position he’s in when he surrenders and sides with Andrew on page 152.  This scene takes place right after Eden’s Twilight, and above all of what went down there, Neil has just been forced into telling Andrew more personal information than he’s ever told anyone. After a night of abuse he feels trapped, like resistance is futile, so he gives in. Saying he wants to be part of Andrew’s crew doesn’t count as consent when his hand is being forced. 

Even though scenes towards the end of the series show Neil beginning to learn how to control Andrew and the two of them coming to stand on a more level ground, their relationship is one built on abuse and violence, and it’s important not to forget that. It’s unrealistic that Neil would come to trust Andrew, honestly. And having the abusive, more mature character give Neil his first ever relationship and teach him that he’s gay (or bi, or whatever he is) is not a good look. Especially when this book has everything else I’ve already mentioned. Especially when Nora is, once again, a grown ass straight woman. 

Nicky And Andrew Are Two Terrible People Being Terrible To Each Other And Actually I Hate Both Of Them 

So Nicky’s predatory and Andrew is violent and their relationship is as unhealthy as can get. Andrew’s relationships with Nicky and Aaron are both unhealthy, but Aaron’s much less so, so I’m just gonna get into Nicky today because I’ve been writing for almost 3 hours and I kinda wanna die right about now. 

We’ve already established that I don’t like either of them. But let me be clear, it takes a lot for me to admit that Andrew “knives hidden up my sleeves” Minyard is right in any situation. And yet, in pretty much any situation where he threatens Nicky, it’s easy to see him as the good guy, at least up until a certain point. 

Andrew is a bad person. He’s violent and manipulative and has no regard for people’s boundaries. Nicky is arguably worse, painting himself as the peacemaker while being horrifically predatory. 

(A point on Nicky: Nora spends pretty much all of the first book showing Nicky as predatory, then abandons it entirely for the next two books, making it easy to forget the kind of person he is. Just because the predatory behavior stops doesn’t excuse it. Just because Nora thinks one lousy apology makes Nicky a good person suddenly, doesn’t mean it does.)

I’m gonna paste in a pretty massive chunk of text from the foxhole court, but I think it’s all important, so bear with me. 

“Andrew is scary territorial of him. He punched me the first time I said I’d like to get Kevin too wasted to be straight.” Nicky pointed at his face, presumably where Andrew had decked him. “So yeah, I’m going to crush on safer targets until Andrew gets bored of him. That means you, since Matt’s taken and I don’t hate myself enough to try Seth. Congrats.” “Can you take the creepy down a level?” Aaron asked. “What?” Nicky asked. “He said he doesn’t swing, so obviously he needs a push.” ... “Nicky’s scheming to rape Neil,” Aaron said. “There are a couple flaws in his plan he needs to work out first, but he’ll get there sooner or later.” “You’re such an asshole,” Nicky said as he started for the door. “Wow, Nicky,” Andrew said. “You start early.” “Can you really blame me?” ... Andrew caught Nicky’s jersey in one hand and threw him hard up against the wall... “Hey Nicky,” Andrew said in stage-whisper German. “Don’t touch him, you understand?”  “You know I’d never hurt him. If he says yes-”  “I said no.”  Jesus, you’re greedy,” Nicky said. “You already have Kevin, what does it-” He went silent, but it took Neil a moment to realize why. Andrew had a short knife pressed to Nicky’s jersey...Neil knew Andrew meant it. If Nicky so much as breathed wrong right now, Andrew would cut his lungs to ribbons, any and all consequences be damned. 

 So there’s a lot to unpack there. I loose Andrew at the point where he’s ready to murder, but though he’s extreme as fuck, it’s not like he’s unjustified. We learn later from his backstory why he’s so extreme in shutting down any behavior he sees predatory, and rightfully so. (Even though there’s still Eden’s Twilight soon after this... it’s Nora’s incompetent writing isn’t it.) Nicky is a creep. He’s an adult. He has a fiance. And he’s talking about how he’s going to coerce a teenager into having sex with him because he won’t tell him his sexuality. 

He says he wouldn’t do anything without consent, but we know that’s not true. He’s just saying what Andrew wants to hear. 

And as for Andrew, though his violence is excused by backstory and mental problems, it’s a big fucking deal. He nearly killed his cousin, who we know he feels at least some sort of fondness for, because it’s established at this point that the reason he’s so heavily medicated is for attacking men who threatened Nicky. Would he regret it later? It’s impossible to say. He killed Aaron’s mom and assumed Aaron would be grateful. He’s threatened or attacked pretty much every member of the Not Lacrosse team. And I honestly don’t know what Nora is trying to tell us about him. He gets tamer once he’s permanently off his medication, but he was violent before it. I suppose that’s because by then Neil has learned how to calm him down, but is that the message? Abuse a boy into hanging out with you and eventually he’ll be a boyfriend who knows how to deal with you? 

Nicky is a predator and Andrew is a violent abuser and neither of them are the good guys and that’s the only conclusion I can possibly draw from the way they’re written. 

Assorted noteworthy moments that didn’t fit into any larger part: 

the part in trk where Nicky’s parents are homophobic and he tells them he loves his fiance and this is the moment that’s supposed to make us sympathize with him? “The sexual predator has homophobic Christian parents feel sad for him” nice try Nora but he’s not getting shit in the way of sympathy from me, your straight is showing

the part in tfc when Seth says the f-slur is bad because uh. Nora that’s not your word to say

bonus Nicky is predatory bit: Nicky waggled a hand at Aaron. “Quick, have we said anything totally incriminating these past few months?” “Aside from your endless inappropriate comments about what you’d like to do to [Neil], I don’t think so.” (tfc pg 239) 

Kevin is also manipulative! I felt like covering it would be a bit of a rehash of Andrew and this was getting really long but he continually uses exy as leverage to get Neil to do things he feels will put him in danger the same way Andrew uses threats of sharing his secrets. 

bonus bonus Nicky is predatory bit (I’m discovering more and more as I go): Nicky’s stare was appreciative when Neil returned, but for once he kept his mouth shut. (tfc pg 243) Is this supposed to be character growth? Being predatory without explicitly saying anything is barely better Nora!! (Side note, in this same scene Nicky does make a comment about Neil jacking off in the bathroom stall which? Seems kinda bad considering everything else with him?)

I didn’t touch on it very much because no one cares about it and it’s way harder to convince people poor writing about drug abuse is bad than poor writing about sexual assault is bad (even though it shouldn’t be, and i could have tried both but again. long post) but Nora’s attitude to drugs and alcohol is bad. Every character and their mom is addicted to something, with Kevin and Andrew being the most obvious touched on (also Seth but I don’t think anyone cares about him), and Nora’s attitude towards writing it is quite frankly disgusting. She’s offensively misinformed and it pisses me off to no end. But that’s a rant for another day.

Every sex scene between Neil and Andrew is gross. (I think there’s two of them from what I remember? At least two, maybe more.) I googled plenty and I couldn’t find Nora’s age anywhere, but I know for a fact that she’s an adult, and I also know the series took her 13 years to write, so I’m fairly sure she’s at least in her 30s. 

I know I said I wasn’t gonna complain about bad writing but. It’s so bad y’all, and I honestly think it gets worse as the books go along. Every time Neil monologued it took a year off my life. 

So yeah. There’s a lot that’s fucked up about the foxhole court. And the worst part of it is that it never gets better. Andrew makes marginal improvement, but Nicky never does. Nora writes shock value scenes until the series end (I didn’t write about the scene in tkm where Neil gets tortured because it’s the same shock value effect of the thanksgiving chapter in a different sort of way but it’s also bad). I am of the honest belief that this book is far too fucked up to salvage. This is my official tfc bad masterpost, because every time I criticize it someone wants to know more. But I’m also putting it in the fandom tags because it annoys me to no end that y’all support these books, and I’m hoping I can at least change someone’s mind. 

[supernaturalqueeranalysis20-blog]

Minority Representation in “Supernatural” - A Look at Disability

Supernatural is infamous for its ever-changing cast. In a universe plagued with deadly monsters and body-stealing angels and demons, each episode holds the potential for a radically different array of actors to fill its characters’ roles. However, it is no secret that, like many other tv shows in mainstream media, Supernatural lacks diversity.

Supernatural has often been criticized for its lack of representation. It’s official main cast, for example, has been exclusively white through all its thirteen seasons. Of its nine leads, only two characters have been female (and they have long since been killed off the show). Overall, Supernatural’s issue with diversity is often obvious even to the most casual of viewers.

(Bela Talbot - An expert thief in the world of Supernatural. Played by Lauren Cohan. Was recognized as a main cast member through Season 3).

(Ruby - A demon that takes a human vessel to help the Winchesters. Played by Katie Cassidy and Genevieve Cortese. Was recognized as a main cast member through Season 3).

For its credit, Supernatural has made visible efforts to write in more minority characters over the years. Charlie, Billie, Kevin, Cesar, and Jesse are just a few examples of the show attempting to represent diverse sexualities and ethnicities within its episodes. Yet, many of these identities are left to minor and background characters that are usually written off the show sometime later.

Within this essay, I will analyze another minority identity Supernatural has explored through its years - individuals with disabilities. Specifically, I will be focusing on the characters Bobby Singer (Season 5) and Eileen Leahy (Season 11-12). Through these two characters, I will analyze how Supernatural’s representation of those with disabilities has changed throughout the years, and how these characters relate to the broader topic of ableism.

Bobby Singer

When the audience first meets the retired hunter, he is able-bodied. Bobby’s backstory is that he’s been hunting for many years, chasing and killing monsters similar to the way Sam and Dean do in the show. In his older years, Bobby is shown often acting as an educational resource for the brothers, helping them research cases and answering phone calls with their questions. Labeled as “an old drunk”, Bobby nonetheless proves to have a deep-rooted sense of responsibility for the Winchester brothers, often acting as a father figure to them.

It is this protective nature that causes Bobby to stab himself in the legs during Season 5 to rid himself of a demon possession (and thus, in the process, save Sam). The action, however, leaves him wheelchair-bound throughout the remainder of the season.

Bobby was one of the first recognizable and textually confirmed main characters to appear with a disability. In many ways, Bobby was the first example of how Supernatural explored representing non-able bodied characters.

Bobby’s first reaction to his new disability is extremely negative. In a scene where Bobby stares idly out his hospital window, Sam whispers, “[Bobby] hasn’t spoken in days”. When the angel, Castiel, appears soon after, Bobby’s dialogue has him anxiously awaiting heavenly forces to heal him from his disability. When it’s discovered he cannot be healed, Bobby responds in anger and frustration.

BOBBY

You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?

CASTIEL

I'm sorry.

BOBBY

Shove it up your ass.

Throughout the season, Bobby’s response to his disability continues to spiral into negative, depressive episodes. In 05x07, “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester”, Bobby makes the risky decision of gambling with a witch to earn back his ability to walk. Instead of money, Bobby bets years of his life. After the game, it is revealed Bobby gambled, and lost, 25 years, leaving him on the cusp of death. While the deal is reversed with the Winchesters’ help, Bobby still retains his disability by the end of the episode.

Bobby’s depression soon becomes textualized after he admits to thoughts of suicide. In 05x07, he claims,

“I ain't a hunter no more. I'm useless. And if I wasn't such a coward, I'd have stuck a gun in my mouth day I got home from the hospital."

In 05x18, “Point of No Return”, Bobby is also seen holding a bullet, telling the Winchester brothers,

"That’s the round that I mean to put through my skull. Every morning, I look at it. I think, 'Maybe today’s the day I flip the lights out.' But I don’t do it. I never do it. You know why? Because I promised you I wouldn't give up!"

These two quotes reveal that Bobby’s suicidal tendencies are linked to the day he discovered he could no longer walk. For Bobby, his disability completely invalidates his identity as a hunter. In his mind, the two identities cannot coexist. His disability leaves him feeling incapable of doing his job and protecting those he loves. For Bobby, his disability correlates to weakness, uselessness, and passiveness. These feelings are so extreme, in fact, that by 05x18 the only reason Bobby hasn’t ended his life is not for his own sake, but for the sake of others.

Bobby’s suicidal tendencies can be noted later in 05x20, “The Devil You Know”. In this episode, Bobby makes a deal with a demon to help the Winchesters. By doing so, he sells his soul and faces the chance of spending eternity in Hell. Bobby’s actions speak of duty, but also a lack of self-worth.

BOBBY World's gonna end. Seems stupid to get all precious over one little...Soul.

However, by the end of 05x21, “Two Minutes to Midnight”, Bobby regains his ability to walk through the demon deal. The change leaves Bobby feeling happy and hopeful, even telling Dean, 

“I walked up and down stairs all night for no damn reason. I'm sore. Feels so good, I'm scared it's a dream.” 

Overall, Bobby’s reaction to his disability is typical of most media. By obtaining this disability later in life, Bobby is a reminder that able-bodiedness is, and can be, a temporary state. Once Bobby loses his ability to walk, he is shown as incredibly depressed with suicidal tendencies, risking the lives of himself and others just for the chance to walk again. By doing so, the show gives a single image of disability, which is one full of pain, sadness, and the desperate chase to find a “cure”.

Supernatural’s representation of Bobby’s disability can be linked to ableism - the system of power in society that gives privilege to able-bodied individuals. Bobby’s character falls into many of these media stereotypes. He is shown to be incredibly depressed because of his disability. His self-hatred is so low, in fact, that he values death over having to live with his inability to walk. His newfound disability characterizes him as weak and useless as well. Despite having hunted his entire life, Bobby’s character claims that his disability invalidates this entire side of his identity. Instead of exploring the ways Bobby could adapt to hunting after his disability, his character is shown completely unwilling to even try. In this way, Supernatural is essentially showing us that individuals with disabilities simply cannot exist in the “hunting world”. Like many other parts of society, hunting is portrayed as inaccessible to the non-able bodied community.

Bobby’s obsession to find a “cure” to his disability is an example of ableism as well. It retains the pattern in media that those who are disabled are constantly wishing for, and searching for, a “cure”. It is part of a societal belief that able-bodied is a standard every individual aspires to. If one does not fit this image, then they must be constantly searching for a way to achieve this standard. This belief fuels the idea that non-able bodied individuals are somehow abnormal from the rest of society. In Supernatural, we can see this stereotype played to the extreme through Bobby’s suicidal gambling game.

By the end of the season, Bobby’s disabled status is given no redemption. He’s not shown working through his emotional trauma nor finding any sort of emotional conclusion. Instead of self-acceptance and exploring new ways to hunt, the show’s “solution” to Bobby’s disability is to magically erase it. Afterward, Bobby is seen as finally happy and optimistic, making jokes and comparing his re-ability to walk like being in a “dream”. In this way, Supernatural reasserts the stereotype that those with disabilities can only be happy once they are able-bodied. Overall, Supernatural’s Bobby Singer represents the many negative and harmful stereotypes of disability in our mainstream media.

Eileen Leahy

Eileen Leahy first appears in 11x11, “Into the Mystic”. After Bobby Singer, she is one of the only recurring characters on the show with a textually confirmed disability. When Eileen was a baby, a banshee invaded her home and killed her parents. While Eileen managed to survive the attack, the banshee’s supernatural screams left her deaf. She was later found by a hunter who raised Eileen into the world of hunting. Eileen’s character is first introduced to the show when she and the Winchesters work on the same case; both hunting the banshee that killed Eileen’s family.

Eileen’s character is given incredible complexity despite her only one episode introduction. The episode opens with the scene of her parents’ death, allowing audiences to empathize with Eileen’s history. Throughout the episode, Eileen also discusses important topics to her character, like her background in hunting and her feelings of revenge.

SAM

Eileen, in my experience... Revenge is not all it's cracked up to be.

Killing this Banshee is not gonna bring your parents back.

EILEEN

I never met them. They're just pictures to me.

[Eileen picks up her wallet, opens it to a picture of her as a baby with her parents and hands it to Sam]

SAM

But...

EILEEN

They're family.

My family.

By providing all this, the show invests in giving her a complex backstory and provides explanations to the motivations behind her actions. This is rare for the show’s usual treatment of new introductions, reserving such plotlines for major characters.

Eileen even talks about her future, contemplating about becoming a lawyer. But, by the end, she accepts that her future remains in hunting.

SAM

What now? Law school?

EILEEN

No. This is my life.

Eileen’s character represents a minority identity. The complexity given to her character, therefore, is important to recognize. Instead of becoming a two-dimensional image of her disability, Eileen is recognized as a real life, dynamic individual. While deafness plays an important role in Eileen’s character, it is an identity layered upon other characteristics for the audience to empathize and understand her through. The show’s attention to Eileen’s character, therefore, is a successful step towards the positive representation of individuals with disabilities.

Most importantly, in fact, Supernatural shows Eileen fully capable and happy with her life alongside her disability. There is no focus on her character being “cured”, nor does Eileen show any negative thoughts against her deafness. Instead, Eileen is confident and resourceful, proving herself a force to be reckoned with.

Throughout the episode, Eileen shows incredible talent and skill in hunting. She is reliable, courageous, and strong-willed. During the episode, Eileen doesn’t hesitate to lure Sam into a trap of runes she’s painted, mistaking him for a banshee. By doing so, Eileen becomes another character in the show that is able to outwit the Winchester brothers, who they themselves are considered at the top of the hunting world. It is only by Sam explaining her mistake that he is able to escape from her trap.

As well, Eileen’s deafness serves as an advantage to the case. When the banshee’s screams become too loud for any of the hunters to hear each other, Eileen is able to communicate the directions to a spell using sign language. In this way, Eileen’s deafness is not shown as a limiting factor to herself or her work. Instead, it represents the advantages and strengths Eileen has because of her identity. This can be contrasted heavily with Bobby’s character, who felt he was no longer a hunter due to his disability. As Eileen shows, individuals with disabilities can (and do) easily exist within the hunting world.

Eileen’s deafness is explored in many ways throughout the episode. The show even brings great attention to Eileen’s experience with deafness by allowing her to communicate in sign language with another character. Sign language is not just another form of communication; it can be part of an entire culture in deaf/hard-of-hearing communities. Allowing Eileen to sign throughout the episode brings a greater understanding of Eileen’s experience with deafness.

Overall, Eileen’s characterization in Supernatural is a progressive step for a show that previously failed in positive disability representation. By addressing disability, Supernatural gives voice to a group that greatly lacks such recognition on screen. For individuals within this community, characters like Eileen can represent a hopeful future of better disability representation in media. 

[luobingmeis]

hawk in the raven nest, chapter twenty-three

chapter summary: okay so you know that song that goes "oh shit,,,,,,,,,, oH SHIT" ??? yeah

tw(s): nsfw ahead

read on ao3

previous chapter

chapter list

Nathaniel wasn’t worried for the Foxes. While the Ravens had lost two of their best players, causing a need for athletes out of the Perfect Court to step into Kevin and Jean’s place, the Foxes had a national champion and worked using Raven drills and tactics. By the time January rolled around, the Foxes had their place secured in the spring championships and were on their way to being in the death matches. With Kevin on their line and Nathaniel and Andrew motivating the Foxes from the outside, the Foxes increased their point gaps and wins.

The Ravens remained on top while the Foxes worked from the ground up. It was much easier to remain on top than to start from nothing; Nathaniel’s confidence in the Foxes was growing sturdier and sturdier.

The orange grew less obnoxious each time Nathaniel saw it on their TVs in the lounge.

What added glitter to gold, though, wasn't just the Foxes wins or knowing that Jean was in a better place; it was what happened on February 17th. Lord Kengo Moriyama was a powerful man with a tendency for violence and murder. He was the one who called Nathan Wesninski to his side to be The Butcher, the executioner for the Moriyamas. Lord Kengo was the man who was going to have Nathaniel killed because he didn't believe his lackeys’ positions should be passed down through family. The only reason Nathaniel was still alive today was because he proved he was good enough at Exy to be a Raven.

Lord Kengo Moriyama was also an old man, and with his age came sickness. Over the course of almost three months, more and more people who worked for the Moriyamas came into Evermore to discuss the depletion of their Lord’s health. They had to figure out what would happen when he finally died and his first son Ichirou took the family business.

On February 15th, that day finally came. February 17th was the funeral, and while Kengo’s brother Tetsuji was attending, his second and abandoned son Riko didn’t even receive an invite from his older brother. Nathaniel, being one of the many who hated Riko Moriyama along with his family, felt no pity for Riko and no grief for Lord Kengo.

Riko, however, felt otherwise. Despite barely even knowing his brother, and his father for the matter, his hairpin trigger temper was more sensitive than usual. Nathaniel knew it wasn’t because his father was six foot under; being ignored by his own family was just another blow to his too-high pride. In the Nest, everyone was forced into treating Riko like their king because he was of a higher position of power; they might all be top Class I Exy players, but Riko was a son of Exy. He had more power in his little finger than they all did combined. The Moriyama family, however, had an immense amount of power that trampled Riko’s, and Riko was worth nothing to them. It was one of the few times Riko didn’t have people bowing down to him, and he was not enjoying it.

Nathaniel was glad that Jean wasn’t here to face what was going on. Despite his absence, Tetsuji still called for them to have a captain’s practice while they were gone, which meant that Riko was left in charge. They didn’t run any scrimmages since no one was there to referee, which meant that they practiced drills for a good two hours, Riko berating them and all. Nathaniel’s body was tired and he was tired of Riko. At the two hour mark, Riko ripped off his helmet to really begin ripping them apart.

“You’re all fucking worthless, everyone here. You all think you’re topshit because you’re a Raven? What a fucking joke, you won’t be anything on this team, in your pathetic lives, if you don’t step up and-”

Nathaniel had taken his own helmet off during his rant. He decided to speak up. “Do these insults apply to yourself?”

Nathaniel might as well have slapped the words out of Riko’s mouth. He fell silent and turned his eyes to Nathaniel, as did his team. Andrew in goal leaned on his stick, though Nathaniel could feel his eyes boring into him. “What?” Riko asked, too quietly. Nathaniel could hear the murder in his tone, but that didn’t stop his next words.

“I get it Riko, I get it,” he started. “You had a complicated relationship with your dad. No really, I do get it. My dad never called me on my birthday, either. I probably won't be invited to his funeral, too. It must suck to naturally get all this power from your family but now be forever unable to call up dad and be like, "Hey dad! Guess whose life I just ruined today!" But, and now I’m just going out on a limb here, I don't care. You have done everything in your power -which is quite a lot since the good ole Moriyama family gives the most power to its pricks- to make our life here living hell, and now you want us to sit back and let you berate us more than usual because your dad kicked the bucket? No, we would have actually felt bad if you were, you know, not the scum of the earth, but, you know, things can’t always be as it should. So please, at this point, it would just be better if you carried out your temper tantrum by yourself and let us continue our practice in peace. Maybe finally make your dad proud by shutting the fuck up.” Nathaniel made a pointed pause. “Thanks.”

Nathaniel realized that saying these words to Riko Moriyama was about as suicidal as anything, but he wasn’t going to take them back, and he sure as fuck didn’t regret them.

If Riko was able to strangle him in front of everyone, he would have. However, he was held back by witnesses and the fact that the Ravens couldn’t suffer another close call, so he resided to punching Nathaniel across the jaw. Nathaniel had seen him bounding up to him, ripping his gloves off, but he didn’t bother trying to back away. Riko wouldn’t do anything more in front of a crowd, and if he tried to run, it would only be worse when Riko had him alone.

The punch was strong enough to knock Nathaniel to his feet, and he thought about how Riko would have loved to do this the night Kevin premiered for the Foxes.

Riko loomed over Nathaniel, and Nathaniel’s jaw ached. Heat was blooming over his entire face, yet he managed to throw a savage grin onto his face. “You’ve been waiting to do that. Now, don’t we have a practice to continue?”

Riko scowled at him. He picked up Nathaniel’s helmet, which had fallen out of his hands on impact, and dropped it onto his gut. “Get the fuck up,” he said before pulling on his own.

Nathaniel pushed himself up. He pulled on his helmet and stood up, barely letting his body adjust to being knocked down so fast and then picked up at the same rate. His head hurt and he was exhausted, still he pushed himself on to finish the practice. He wasn’t going to give Riko the satisfaction of knocking him down.

When practice finally came to a close, Nathaniel was set on spending his day sleeping, or at least avoiding Riko until their practice that evening. He was about to enter his own room when he heard a voice behind him.

“Nathaniel.”

He turned to see Andrew standing in his own room’s doorway. Then, Nathaniel decided that he would rather spend the day with Andrew than alone in a room too big for one.

Andrew shut the door behind them and turned to stare at Nathaniel. Nathaniel sat on his bed and stared up at him. Andrew silently followed him and sat down besides him.

“Are you going to continue being an idiot and running into Riko’s fist?” Andrew asked.

“Probably,” Nathaniel said with a shrug. “He says so much bullshit, someone has to call him out for it.”

Andrew shook his head. “You’re an idiot.”

Nathaniel smirked. “You like me, though.”

“We’ve been over this before, I hate you,” Andrew said. Nathaniel didn’t believe him. Still, Nathaniel played into it.

“Of course you do, you obviously hate me so much.”

“One-hundred-and-eight percent, Nathaniel,” Andrew said.

Nathaniel’s gaze on Andrew softened. Each time the percentage increased, the percentage that Nathaniel didn’t believe measured hatred, warmth spread more and more in his chest. He enjoyed the presence of Andrew, enjoyed how easy all of this came and how he could just be with Andrew around.

“Staring,” Andrew muttered, though Nathaniel didn’t miss Andrew’s eyes scanning his jaw where bruising and swelling had most likely began to occur. He jutted his chin out to Andrew, and Andrew only waited a moment before gently taking his chin in his hand. He tilted Nathaniel’s head, observing the damage done, and gently probed at the swelling.

Nathaniel wanted to make a joke of Andrew, who claimed to hate Nathaniel, offering so much attention to his barely-there injury, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. He wanted to remember this, remember Andrew with something that wasn’t quite softness in his eyes but something close enough.

Nathaniel hadn’t realized how close their faces had gotten until he was staring right into Andrew’s eyes. Andrew’s eyes flicked from Nathaniel’s own to his lips. “Yes or no?” Andrew asked, his voice barely filling the room.

“Yes,” Nathaniel said without hesitation. He’s never been more comfortable than with Andrew.

Andrew pressed his lips to Nathaniel’s. His hand still cupped Nathaniel’s jaw and warmth radiated through Nathaniel’s body. Everything he felt for Andrew ran through his veins and ignited his heart. With Andrew’s lips on his own, he never felt more at peace and more alive. He was more with Andrew, more than just a number or an Exy player. When he was with Andrew, he was Nathaniel Wesninski, he didn’t have to hide behind a three or a helmet, and that meant more to Nathaniel than he could ever think about saying.

Nathaniel fidgeted with his hands, wanting to find something to do with them but not wanting to cross any boundaries. He wanted to hold onto Andrew, hold onto him like he would be the last joy Nathaniel would ever have, but all he allowed himself were fingers reaching but never making contact. Andrew must have noticed his yearning, for he took his hand away from Nathaniel’s face and grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands to his hair. Nathaniel wasted no time in fisting his hands in Andrew’s hair, finding comfort in the touch.

At one point Nathaniel’s kisses started to stray from Andrew’s lips, but the moment they touched his jaw he pulled away slightly. “Is this okay?” he asked lowly.

“Keep going,” Andrew said, his voice gruffer than Nathaniel expected. Still, Nathaniel nodded and continued to kiss down Andrew’s jaw and to his neck. Andrew’s hands balled in the front of his shirt as Nathaniel restrained himself from leaving marks along Andrew’s neck. When he made his way back up to Andrew’s lips, Andrew’s hands started to inch downwards but paused at the hem of Nathaniel’s sweatpants.

“Yes,” Nathaniel breathed out the answer to the unspoken question against Andrew’s lips. Andrew’s one hand clamped itself behind Nathaniel’s neck as the other reached under his sweats and boxers. Nathaniel gasped at the touch and his fingers tightened in Andrew’s hair. Nathaniel’s breathing was coming in quick breaths and he felt hot under Andrew’s touch. His pulse was flying so fast that he wondered if Andrew could hear it.

When Nathaniel came to completion, it was in heavy breathing and words tumbling out of his lips that sounded a lot like Andrew. His eyes were clamped shut and his hands clutching Andrew’s hair. It took a moment for his heartrate to straighten out, and when it did, he finally opened his eyes and his blue met Andrew’s hazel.

“Go back to your room,” Andrew said.

“But- you-” Nathaniel’s eyes flicked downwards.

“I can take care of it,” he said. “Leave.”

Nathaniel nodded and managed to stumble out of Andrew’s room and into his own. His legs felt wobbly with the thought of Andrew and he laid on his bed, motionless, for a couple of minutes before finally moving to get changed.

[timotay-chalamet]

Best TV of 2016: 20 - 15

Here’s part 1 of a long list of shows that I have loved over the 2016. Part 2 will be up tomorrow, and so on...please forgive me for my essays, editing has never been the strong suit in my life.

20: GIRLS

I know Lena Dunham is enemy 1 on this site, but I’m sticking with fact that Girls was amazing this season. Whatever Dunham’s faults as a human are (and the list is truly endless), this season of Girls was emotionally raw and I appreciate her ability to write Hannah in a way that is both unlikeable but also pitiable. Adam Driver still continues to be a dynamic presence within the show, and his relationship with Jessa this season underpinned one of the most heartbreaking moments. Another shout out must go to Allison Williams (which is something I never thought I’d say), but she really brought it this season, particularly the episode with Christopher Abbott. This season the show really had direction, a purpose and it continually delivered episodes that were both haunting and at times extremely funny.  

Best Episodes: The Panic in Central Park, Hello Kitty, Homeward Bound, I Love You Baby

19: THIS IS US

In a world of ‘prestige’ television, This is Us comes as a welcome relief from the bane of fantasy and the anti hero. I’ve always believed that family drama can provide some of the most interesting and nuanced storytelling on television. What This Is Us did perfectly in the first episode is set up storylines running opposite and parallel with each other; how does the past shape the people that we today? This is an interesting viewpoint that gets explored every week, and somehow the show can deliver sentiment without becoming annoying. Milo Ventimiglia and Mandy Moore as Jack and Rebecca Pearson are perfect in their roles as parents and on a shallow note; Milo’s ass and mustache are out of this world perfection. Sterling K Brown as Randall Pearson is the real star here, and arguably the star of the year with his terrific performance in The People vs OJ. In Randall, Brown is able is explore the feelings of abandonment, loneliness and a new connection with a father he never knew. His siblings, Kevin Pearson (Justin Hartley) and Kate Pearson (Chrissy Metz) are less developed but still have their moments of levity. I will also give a shout out to the children who play the siblings as children, not only is it perfect casting but their acting is beautiful, and the child who plays Randall is particularly good. This Is Us shows us that family drama can be effective and arresting television, and that the small moments in life can change us forever.

Best Episodes: Pilot, The Pool, Career Day, Pilgrim Rick, The Trip, Last Christmas

18: STRANGER THINGS

There isn’t a show anywhere that tapped more into the pop culture lexicon that Stranger Things. Part 1980s nostalgia, part mystery and part Steven King novel, this show tapped into our desire for pulpy television. While this is a genre show, it’s strength lies in the interpersonal relationships between people, and the trauma that occurs when somebody particularly a child goes missing. The show’s strength lies in the way it is able to weave in this mystery and make it completely believable; and this is underpinned by the performances. Winona Ryder lets go of any vanity in playing the distraught mother Joyce Byers and the all the child actors are excellent. The standout however has to be Millie Bobby Brown playing the mysterious Eleven, her ability to be vulnerable and scary, as well as some truly iconic fashion looks (that pink dress and wig were perfect Halloween fodder) makes her the breakout star of the year. This show is able to weave in mystery and nostalgia into a concoction that is both able to excite and scare.

Best episodes: The Vanishing of Will Byers, Holly Jolly, The Body, The Monster, The Upside Down

17: SEARCH PARTY

What if ‘Girls’ was crossed with Nancy Drew, then you would get Search Party. A story of a group of 20 something embroiled in the disappearance of an acquaintance from college. This is not simply a comedy, nor is a detective story but a character study of what occurs when a seemingly directionless person, in this case Dory Sief (Alia Shawkat), is given direction and a sense of purpose. The show masterfully combines black humour, pathos and social commentary in a way that never feels forced or tacked on. By combining genres, the show is able to challenge and defy tropes of both the millennial comedy and the detective genre. I also appreciated the fourth commentary about both detective dramas on television and the lack of diversity within the realm of this genre. Dory’s friends, Elliot Goss (John Early) and Portia Davenport (Meredith Hagner) provide much needed comic relief, while also providing commentary on celebrity and infamy. This show will keep you guessing, and the final episode is a beautifully constructed piece of television that will stay with the viewer long after the after the episode airs.  

Best episodes: "The Mysterious Disappearance of The Girl No One Knew", "The Return of the Forgotten Phantom", "The Captive Dinner Guest", "The House of Uncanny Truths"

16: WESTWORLD

I have to admit, that I was not looking forward to this show. Firstly I had no idea what it was about and secondly I have an almost pathological hatred of westerns; so this show was not up my alley at all. But I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised and intrigued by this show, and the final few episodes did actually surprise me, although going into the second season I hope the show relies more on character exposition rather than ‘twists’. The performances in this show are excellent, particularly Thandie Newton who just steals the whole show and I wouldn’t be surprised if she won an Emmy. Anthony Hopkins does what Anthony Hopkins does best, monologue like a champion and Jeremy Wright’s as Bernard is a revelation. Evan Rachel Wood and James Marsden also hold their own, although their characters are in the periphery for the second half of the season. Ben Barnes is also good as a moustache twirling villain without the moustache and I commend the show runners for examining the ‘nice guy’ trope with Jimmi Simpson. I do think the show relies too much on ‘twists’, lore and psychological quotes but it is entertaining and I think we can agree: don’t trust robots. Just don’t trust them…

 Best episodes: The Original, The Adversary, The Well-Tempered Clavier and The Bicarmel Man

15: TRANSPARENT

Transparent is always unrelenting in its portrayal of family, for better or for worse The Pfefferman’s more often than not, are shown to be petty, selfish and self-centred. This show can be so unspeakably raw in its depiction of family, gender and religion that at times it does become hard to watch. But at its core it’s a story about family, about where we come from, about what drives our behaviour. This season the main focus was self identity, gender identity and religious identity. But the standout this season, has to be Judith Light, and her performance in the finale episode should earn her at least an Emmy nomination. But knowing the Emmys like I do, I am fairly certain she will be overlooked. But her singing performance was spectacular.

 Best episodes: Oh Holy Night, The Open Road, If I Were A Bell, Exiting and New

[adambstingus]

5 BS Celebrity Stories We Need To Stop Clicking On

We are currently drowning in a sea of entertainment news. For every one event in Hollywood, there are 500 articles written about it. This means that in order to get hits, some websites find themselves bending the truth eeeeeever so slightly. Or in the case of headlines like these, they take the truth, put it in a paper bag, and light it on fire on your doorstep for you to stomp out.

5

Your Favorite Star Just Teased Their Next Big Movie! Or Not!

Before the internet, you mostly found out that a new movie was going to be released when you saw a trailer which confirmed that yes, Batman would be returning. Now, you can learn such information years in advance, due to headlines screaming that the star or director has proclaimed a movie is “in the works,” or something to that effect. Then, two years later, you’re like, “Wait, wasn’t that thing supposed to be out by now?” That’s because those headlines are usually manufactured bullshit.

For example, while I was writing this, Rotten Tomatoes said the biggest story of the week was Steven Spielberg revealing that after Harrison Ford goes scowling into retirement, the next Indiana Jones would be played by a woman:

Stuff

Complex

CNN

But Spielberg didn’t really say that at all. He said the upcoming Indiana Jones film would be the last for Harrison Ford, so the series could only continue in a different form (i.e. as a reboot). A tabloid straight up asked him about going with a female lead, and he said that there was nothing wrong with it and joked, “We’d have to change the name from Jones to Joan,” revealing that, while he is a master filmmaker, he is first and foremost a dad.

Throw in the fact that Spielberg doesn’t own the rights to Indiana Jones (Disney will decide where the franchise goes next), and you realize that asking about anything beyond his personal involvement is futile. But interviewers do this all the time. They give a leading question about a film, get a vague “sure,” then run with the scoop. For example, interviewers have been asking Scarlett Johansson about a solo Black Widow movie for years, resulting in headlines like …

Polygon

… which is misleading, because there is no “Black Widow movie” set in stone yet. Or they’ll ask Marvel captain Kevin Feige, leading to the headline …

Empire Online

… even though an exec saying they’re “creatively and emotionally … most committing to” Black Widow but not actually putting it on their three-year schedule is the exact opposite of a commitment. It’s like when your parents said “We’ll see” when you asked them to buy you a drum kit.

No matter what project it is, whether it’s a TV show or a movie or a stick figure flipbook of a boy hitting a can with a stick, you’ll find the same bullshit. Asked about a Family Guy movie, a producer said, “There are no specific plans,” but also, “if I were a gambling man, I’d say within the next five years,” and joked that he was putting money on that. Thus, headlines read:

Independent

This is a pattern you’ll see throughout this article — celebrities will say vague shit off the cuff, and journalists will dig through it for a headline. In fact, it’s pretty hard to find an actual article about an interview that feels honest. One of the few that I found concerned Daniel Craig, who, when asked about playing James Bond after Spectre, said, “I’d rather break this glass and slash my wrists.”

The 25th James Bond film stars Daniel Craig and hits theaters next year.

4

A Celebrity Admitted That They HATE Their New Film! But Not Really!

When an actor hates life on set or hates their famous role, that makes for a hell of a story. But you’re probably only going to hear it years later, because no actor wants a reputation for sabotage. So every time you see a headline about an actor badmouthing their movie, there’s a good chance that they … didn’t badmouth anything. For example, apparently, the lead actress in the new Tomb Raider began literally taking a dump on a film reel when asked about her experience playing Lara Croft.

Bounding Into Comics

Wow, Alicia Vikander trashes Tomb Raider? Let’s see this clip, in which she says … the previous movies were good, hers is also good, the video game’s realism was good, a sequel might be good, and, in the last 15 seconds, she agrees with the interviewer that it’s weird that the film has so few women in it. Huh. She didn’t trash anything.

OK, well then how about when Jennifer Lawrence spontaneously burst into flame when asked about playing Mystique one more time:

Refinery29

Lawrence’s first quote in the article is “I love these movies.” She then says that she loves the director, and loves fans, and that Dark Phoenix is her best experience yet. So what does she hate? “The paint.” Getting into costume is difficult. You might notice that this isn’t bashing the film. Very few people like to be doused in paint and latex for 16 hours a day. Most people don’t like wearing pants for 16 hours a day. So it’s not unreasonable, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean that she “hates being in X-Men,” as the headline proclaims.

OK, fine. So it seems like a lot of these sites are blowing minor things out of proportion. But how about the time that Batman v Superman was so boring that it caused Michael Shannon to slip into a coma?

GQ

First off, Shannon wasn’t in Batman v Superman. They used a rubber model of him. He was never on set, and though he recorded a few lines, they weren’t used. Also, he fell asleep while watching it on the tiny screen on an airplane, because it was an international flight and he was tuckered.

But what about actors who hate their characters? That’s got to be something that happens in real life. Actors who find the characters they play to be so morally reprehensible that they have to shout it out loud. Actors like Jamie Dornan, the guy who portrayed Christian Grey, who was apparently doing something to the extent of burning copies of Fifty Shades Of Grey on set.

The Loop

Nope, he only says that Christian’s “not the sort of bloke I’d get along with. All my mates are easy going and quick to laugh.” And who would want to hang out with the characters they portray? Jack Nicholson doesn’t sit around waiting for homicidal clowns to buy him a beer, and Dornan probably won’t be chilling with any sociopathic billionaires in the near future.

3

This Celebrity Is Fed Up With Political Correctness! Maybe?

Hollywood is known as a bastion of liberalism, but if you believe clickbaity headlines, aging actors with no stake in the matter are calling press conferences to loudly tell they world that they’re not going to take it anymore. You tell ’em, boys!

Express

AOL

Read Next

Create A Jetson’s Future With This Machine Learning Bundle

Almost always, a site is reprinting one extract from a much longer interview some other outlet did on a bunch of topics, such as John Hurt’s terminal cancer diagnosis, or Eastwood doing family friendly films against his lawyer’s advice. “70/80-year-old thinks younger people are different” may be the least interesting part of the interview, but it’s the only part the sites highlight, so they can scratch a specific itch. I’d love to tell you the movie stuff John Rhys-Davies told Adam Corolla or Mel Brooks told BBC, but the full recordings are gone, and all we have left is:

Hollywood Reporter

DailyWire

But that’s all old news. Here’s the latest on Seinfeld and Alec Baldwin literally calling the #MeToo movement shit!

Page Six

Famous News

Must Haves

By “bowel movement,” Seinfeld meant we’re expelling something we must be rid of — the harassers are the shit in this metaphor. It’s a #MeToo endorsement. The story could really have been just about smarmy Baldwin being an ass (watch Seinfeld alternate between agreeable and then dying inside, realizing he must tactfully fight Baldwin on this), but the twist here is that Baldwin was the interviewer. He was luring Seinfeld into making their conversation controversial. Jerry didn’t take the bait. The media did.

When Matt Damon was interviewed about #MeToo, one line got quoted again and again. “There’s a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right?”

Huffington Post

Boston

Out of context, it comes off like his entire cause is to defend butt pats, proclaiming it loudly and defiantly with a sword and shield in front of the Damon family crest. But Damon was talking about an actual person who’d touched butts and an actual person who’d molested children, saying there’s literally a difference (one so obvious, you might call it self-evident) — but noted that both acts “need to be confronted and eradicated without question.” He also said a bunch of other pro-#MeToo stuff, and then a really interesting bit on NDAs.

But the headline’s going to be whichever part grabs the most outrage. If manufacturing disagreement and drumming up hatred is what it takes to pay the bills, then that’s what they do.

2

Holy Shit, The Star Was Injured On Set! Or Maybe They’re Just Joking!

Acting can be physically challenging. And like any activity that requires movement, you can get injured while you do it. SERIOUSLY injured. Like Jennifer Lawrence in Mother! levels of injured:

Indiewire

LADBible

Indy100

Given that rib dislocation isn’t a real thing, I wondered whether this was a joke (specifically a reference to the movie, in which Ed Harris loses a rib). Or they might have meant some other rib injury, and Lawrence also supposedly tore her diaphragm. Diaphragm rupture is a real injury … one usually caused by stabbing, gunshots, or car accidents. If someone ruptures their diaphragm and hurts a rib by “hyperventilating,” that would be an extreme medical oddity, not a cute anecdote about how method J-Law is.

But no one apparently cares enough to clarify. Also, “breathing so hard she ripped herself open” is apparently a whole genre of on-set accident:

Express

US Magazine

A ripped stomach muscle is generally not caused by yelling a bunch. Was Theron even being serious? It’s reported seriously, but in the interview, everyone’s laughing throughout. She gave the stomach story in another interview too, and the interviewer immediately changed the subject to her wardrobe.

And wait till you hear about poor, afflicted Gary Oldman:

Screenrant

NME

Independent

He did say that. But actual nicotine poisoning is a big deal — as in phone poison control, because it can be fatal. And it’s caused by swallowing a lot of nicotine at once, not by smoking for several weeks. Maybe Oldman only meant “I went through a whole LOT of cigars”? That’s not dramatic enough. Gotta hint that the toxic cigars have brought him one step closer to the grave.

I’m not calling these celebrities filthy liars. Maybe something crazy did happen to them, or maybe they’re indulging in a little hyperbole to liven up some interviews. And that’s fine, as this is the film junket and not 60 Minutes. But unexplained anecdotes shouldn’t end up as headlines, not without additional reporting.

So when Jonah Hill talks for 25 seconds about being hospitalized for bronchitis due to snorting Wolf Of Wall Street‘s fake coke, maybe 800 sites don’t have to share that in a headline. Not until someone asks, “When you first said this a couple years ago, you didn’t mention hospitalization and weren’t so sure it was bronchitis, and also, bronchitis doesn’t lead to hospitalization, unless you’re like 90 years old. So what I’m asking is this, Mr. Hill: Are you secretly 90 years old?”

1

A Celebrity Confirmed Your Favorite Fan Theory! If You Twist Their Words A Bit!

Fan theories are so prevalent now that they’re getting back to the actors involved. For instance, someone sat Neil Patrick Harris down and asked about the popular fan theory that How I Met Your Mother‘s Barney wasn’t really a womanizing jerk — we just see him that way because unreliable narrator Ted wants his kids to hate Barney so they’ll prefer that Robin be with Ted. Harris said that the theory made a lot of sense. So we were all treated to headlines saying:

Pretty 52

Digital Spy

The Sun

But Harris didn’t confirm anything. He didn’t offer insider info about what the writers intended, or about how he played the character. Nor did J.K. Rowling when she said a convoluted fan theory about Dumbledore being the physical embodiment of Death is “beautiful and it fits,” yet headlines reported that she too had “confirmed” a huge fan theory. And nor did the Jar Jar Binks actor when headlines said he released a “Bombshell” about Jar Jar being a Sith Lord. (He said, “That’s really a George Lucas question. I cannot answer that question.”) At this point, it seems like literally any combination of words would have been interpreted as a confirmation.

The reality is that celebrities will almost always cheerfully nod along with a fan theory if it’s interesting enough. They’ll even jokingly accept balls-out absurd theories, and don’t count on websites spinning their amusement into truth bombs. So no, no one on iCarly seriously confirmed their character is half-bee (but headlines say they did). Tom Holland didn’t confirm that he keeps a frog in his mouth (but headlines say he did). And Steve from Stranger Things is probably not the father of Jean Ralphio from Parks And Rec, despite the headlines that screamed that the genealogy lined up.

Headlines about fan theories are next-level bullshit because they’re lies about fiction. And besides, the coolest fan theories are so weird and so involved that they’ll probably never be confirmed. Let’s say your theory connects all the Pixar movies, and it later becomes the most famous theory of our age. Don’t wait for Disney to “confirm” it. If you like the theory, believe it, and to hell with anyone who says you’re wrong. To return to Star Wars again, Mark Hamill said of a fan theory, “I’d say it is meant to be interpreted by the viewer … You should not be ashamed of it.”

Vanity Fair‘s headline about that interview with Hamill:

Vanity Fair

CONFIRMED! THANKS, MARK!

Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for bits cut from this article and other stuff no one should see.

Start collecting your own sound bites for the world to misinterpret, get yourself an audio recorder.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more dumb news that shouldn’t be news, check out 5 Stupid Things We Need To Stop Clicking On and 6 News Stories Everybody Needs To Stop Sharing On Facebook.

You SHOULD click on THIS LINK and follow us on Facebook.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-bs-celebrity-stories-we-need-to-stop-clicking-on/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182618263082

[allofbeercom]

5 BS Celebrity Stories We Need To Stop Clicking On

We are currently drowning in a sea of entertainment news. For every one event in Hollywood, there are 500 articles written about it. This means that in order to get hits, some websites find themselves bending the truth eeeeeever so slightly. Or in the case of headlines like these, they take the truth, put it in a paper bag, and light it on fire on your doorstep for you to stomp out.

5

Your Favorite Star Just Teased Their Next Big Movie! Or Not!

Before the internet, you mostly found out that a new movie was going to be released when you saw a trailer which confirmed that yes, Batman would be returning. Now, you can learn such information years in advance, due to headlines screaming that the star or director has proclaimed a movie is “in the works,” or something to that effect. Then, two years later, you’re like, “Wait, wasn’t that thing supposed to be out by now?” That’s because those headlines are usually manufactured bullshit.

For example, while I was writing this, Rotten Tomatoes said the biggest story of the week was Steven Spielberg revealing that after Harrison Ford goes scowling into retirement, the next Indiana Jones would be played by a woman:

Stuff

Complex

CNN

But Spielberg didn’t really say that at all. He said the upcoming Indiana Jones film would be the last for Harrison Ford, so the series could only continue in a different form (i.e. as a reboot). A tabloid straight up asked him about going with a female lead, and he said that there was nothing wrong with it and joked, “We’d have to change the name from Jones to Joan,” revealing that, while he is a master filmmaker, he is first and foremost a dad.

Throw in the fact that Spielberg doesn’t own the rights to Indiana Jones (Disney will decide where the franchise goes next), and you realize that asking about anything beyond his personal involvement is futile. But interviewers do this all the time. They give a leading question about a film, get a vague “sure,” then run with the scoop. For example, interviewers have been asking Scarlett Johansson about a solo Black Widow movie for years, resulting in headlines like …

Polygon

… which is misleading, because there is no “Black Widow movie” set in stone yet. Or they’ll ask Marvel captain Kevin Feige, leading to the headline …

Empire Online

… even though an exec saying they’re “creatively and emotionally … most committing to” Black Widow but not actually putting it on their three-year schedule is the exact opposite of a commitment. It’s like when your parents said “We’ll see” when you asked them to buy you a drum kit.

No matter what project it is, whether it’s a TV show or a movie or a stick figure flipbook of a boy hitting a can with a stick, you’ll find the same bullshit. Asked about a Family Guy movie, a producer said, “There are no specific plans,” but also, “if I were a gambling man, I’d say within the next five years,” and joked that he was putting money on that. Thus, headlines read:

Independent

This is a pattern you’ll see throughout this article — celebrities will say vague shit off the cuff, and journalists will dig through it for a headline. In fact, it’s pretty hard to find an actual article about an interview that feels honest. One of the few that I found concerned Daniel Craig, who, when asked about playing James Bond after Spectre, said, “I’d rather break this glass and slash my wrists.”

The 25th James Bond film stars Daniel Craig and hits theaters next year.

4

A Celebrity Admitted That They HATE Their New Film! But Not Really!

When an actor hates life on set or hates their famous role, that makes for a hell of a story. But you’re probably only going to hear it years later, because no actor wants a reputation for sabotage. So every time you see a headline about an actor badmouthing their movie, there’s a good chance that they … didn’t badmouth anything. For example, apparently, the lead actress in the new Tomb Raider began literally taking a dump on a film reel when asked about her experience playing Lara Croft.

Bounding Into Comics

Wow, Alicia Vikander trashes Tomb Raider? Let’s see this clip, in which she says … the previous movies were good, hers is also good, the video game’s realism was good, a sequel might be good, and, in the last 15 seconds, she agrees with the interviewer that it’s weird that the film has so few women in it. Huh. She didn’t trash anything.

OK, well then how about when Jennifer Lawrence spontaneously burst into flame when asked about playing Mystique one more time:

Refinery29

Lawrence’s first quote in the article is “I love these movies.” She then says that she loves the director, and loves fans, and that Dark Phoenix is her best experience yet. So what does she hate? “The paint.” Getting into costume is difficult. You might notice that this isn’t bashing the film. Very few people like to be doused in paint and latex for 16 hours a day. Most people don’t like wearing pants for 16 hours a day. So it’s not unreasonable, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean that she “hates being in X-Men,” as the headline proclaims.

OK, fine. So it seems like a lot of these sites are blowing minor things out of proportion. But how about the time that Batman v Superman was so boring that it caused Michael Shannon to slip into a coma?

GQ

First off, Shannon wasn’t in Batman v Superman. They used a rubber model of him. He was never on set, and though he recorded a few lines, they weren’t used. Also, he fell asleep while watching it on the tiny screen on an airplane, because it was an international flight and he was tuckered.

But what about actors who hate their characters? That’s got to be something that happens in real life. Actors who find the characters they play to be so morally reprehensible that they have to shout it out loud. Actors like Jamie Dornan, the guy who portrayed Christian Grey, who was apparently doing something to the extent of burning copies of Fifty Shades Of Grey on set.

The Loop

Nope, he only says that Christian’s “not the sort of bloke I’d get along with. All my mates are easy going and quick to laugh.” And who would want to hang out with the characters they portray? Jack Nicholson doesn’t sit around waiting for homicidal clowns to buy him a beer, and Dornan probably won’t be chilling with any sociopathic billionaires in the near future.

3

This Celebrity Is Fed Up With Political Correctness! Maybe?

Hollywood is known as a bastion of liberalism, but if you believe clickbaity headlines, aging actors with no stake in the matter are calling press conferences to loudly tell they world that they’re not going to take it anymore. You tell ’em, boys!

Express

AOL

Read Next

Create A Jetson's Future With This Machine Learning Bundle

Almost always, a site is reprinting one extract from a much longer interview some other outlet did on a bunch of topics, such as John Hurt’s terminal cancer diagnosis, or Eastwood doing family friendly films against his lawyer’s advice. “70/80-year-old thinks younger people are different” may be the least interesting part of the interview, but it’s the only part the sites highlight, so they can scratch a specific itch. I’d love to tell you the movie stuff John Rhys-Davies told Adam Corolla or Mel Brooks told BBC, but the full recordings are gone, and all we have left is:

Hollywood Reporter

DailyWire

But that’s all old news. Here’s the latest on Seinfeld and Alec Baldwin literally calling the #MeToo movement shit!

Page Six

Famous News

Must Haves

By “bowel movement,” Seinfeld meant we’re expelling something we must be rid of — the harassers are the shit in this metaphor. It’s a #MeToo endorsement. The story could really have been just about smarmy Baldwin being an ass (watch Seinfeld alternate between agreeable and then dying inside, realizing he must tactfully fight Baldwin on this), but the twist here is that Baldwin was the interviewer. He was luring Seinfeld into making their conversation controversial. Jerry didn’t take the bait. The media did.

When Matt Damon was interviewed about #MeToo, one line got quoted again and again. “There’s a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right?”

Huffington Post

Boston

Out of context, it comes off like his entire cause is to defend butt pats, proclaiming it loudly and defiantly with a sword and shield in front of the Damon family crest. But Damon was talking about an actual person who’d touched butts and an actual person who’d molested children, saying there’s literally a difference (one so obvious, you might call it self-evident) — but noted that both acts “need to be confronted and eradicated without question.” He also said a bunch of other pro-#MeToo stuff, and then a really interesting bit on NDAs.

But the headline’s going to be whichever part grabs the most outrage. If manufacturing disagreement and drumming up hatred is what it takes to pay the bills, then that’s what they do.

2

Holy Shit, The Star Was Injured On Set! Or Maybe They’re Just Joking!

Acting can be physically challenging. And like any activity that requires movement, you can get injured while you do it. SERIOUSLY injured. Like Jennifer Lawrence in Mother! levels of injured:

Indiewire

LADBible

Indy100

Given that rib dislocation isn’t a real thing, I wondered whether this was a joke (specifically a reference to the movie, in which Ed Harris loses a rib). Or they might have meant some other rib injury, and Lawrence also supposedly tore her diaphragm. Diaphragm rupture is a real injury … one usually caused by stabbing, gunshots, or car accidents. If someone ruptures their diaphragm and hurts a rib by “hyperventilating,” that would be an extreme medical oddity, not a cute anecdote about how method J-Law is.

But no one apparently cares enough to clarify. Also, “breathing so hard she ripped herself open” is apparently a whole genre of on-set accident:

Express

US Magazine

A ripped stomach muscle is generally not caused by yelling a bunch. Was Theron even being serious? It’s reported seriously, but in the interview, everyone’s laughing throughout. She gave the stomach story in another interview too, and the interviewer immediately changed the subject to her wardrobe.

And wait till you hear about poor, afflicted Gary Oldman:

Screenrant

NME

Independent

He did say that. But actual nicotine poisoning is a big deal — as in phone poison control, because it can be fatal. And it’s caused by swallowing a lot of nicotine at once, not by smoking for several weeks. Maybe Oldman only meant “I went through a whole LOT of cigars”? That’s not dramatic enough. Gotta hint that the toxic cigars have brought him one step closer to the grave.

I’m not calling these celebrities filthy liars. Maybe something crazy did happen to them, or maybe they’re indulging in a little hyperbole to liven up some interviews. And that’s fine, as this is the film junket and not 60 Minutes. But unexplained anecdotes shouldn’t end up as headlines, not without additional reporting.

So when Jonah Hill talks for 25 seconds about being hospitalized for bronchitis due to snorting Wolf Of Wall Street‘s fake coke, maybe 800 sites don’t have to share that in a headline. Not until someone asks, “When you first said this a couple years ago, you didn’t mention hospitalization and weren’t so sure it was bronchitis, and also, bronchitis doesn’t lead to hospitalization, unless you’re like 90 years old. So what I’m asking is this, Mr. Hill: Are you secretly 90 years old?”

1

A Celebrity Confirmed Your Favorite Fan Theory! If You Twist Their Words A Bit!

Fan theories are so prevalent now that they’re getting back to the actors involved. For instance, someone sat Neil Patrick Harris down and asked about the popular fan theory that How I Met Your Mother‘s Barney wasn’t really a womanizing jerk — we just see him that way because unreliable narrator Ted wants his kids to hate Barney so they’ll prefer that Robin be with Ted. Harris said that the theory made a lot of sense. So we were all treated to headlines saying:

Pretty 52

Digital Spy

The Sun

But Harris didn’t confirm anything. He didn’t offer insider info about what the writers intended, or about how he played the character. Nor did J.K. Rowling when she said a convoluted fan theory about Dumbledore being the physical embodiment of Death is “beautiful and it fits,” yet headlines reported that she too had “confirmed” a huge fan theory. And nor did the Jar Jar Binks actor when headlines said he released a “Bombshell” about Jar Jar being a Sith Lord. (He said, “That’s really a George Lucas question. I cannot answer that question.”) At this point, it seems like literally any combination of words would have been interpreted as a confirmation.

The reality is that celebrities will almost always cheerfully nod along with a fan theory if it’s interesting enough. They’ll even jokingly accept balls-out absurd theories, and don’t count on websites spinning their amusement into truth bombs. So no, no one on iCarly seriously confirmed their character is half-bee (but headlines say they did). Tom Holland didn’t confirm that he keeps a frog in his mouth (but headlines say he did). And Steve from Stranger Things is probably not the father of Jean Ralphio from Parks And Rec, despite the headlines that screamed that the genealogy lined up.

Headlines about fan theories are next-level bullshit because they’re lies about fiction. And besides, the coolest fan theories are so weird and so involved that they’ll probably never be confirmed. Let’s say your theory connects all the Pixar movies, and it later becomes the most famous theory of our age. Don’t wait for Disney to “confirm” it. If you like the theory, believe it, and to hell with anyone who says you’re wrong. To return to Star Wars again, Mark Hamill said of a fan theory, “I’d say it is meant to be interpreted by the viewer … You should not be ashamed of it.”

Vanity Fair‘s headline about that interview with Hamill:

Vanity Fair

CONFIRMED! THANKS, MARK!

Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for bits cut from this article and other stuff no one should see.

Start collecting your own sound bites for the world to misinterpret, get yourself an audio recorder.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more dumb news that shouldn’t be news, check out 5 Stupid Things We Need To Stop Clicking On and 6 News Stories Everybody Needs To Stop Sharing On Facebook.

You SHOULD click on THIS LINK and follow us on Facebook.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-bs-celebrity-stories-we-need-to-stop-clicking-on/