#my hand hates me
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I have overdone it on drawing once again, please remember me... /lhj
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Slightly awkward WIP of my shadow sorc Brevor
#my art#dnd#sorcerer#my hand hates me#but this turned out better than i thought#love love love the hand too#brevor#centii's art
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HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!
#tiger tiger#ludovica bonnaire#remy bonnaire#jamis arlesi#This comic has been on my radar for *years* and I only recently - finally - sat down to read it. And by god is it amazing.#I don't want to spoil anything! But if you like amazing art and character writing *and* high seas adventure? READ TIGER TIGER.#If you asked my who my favourite character is I could not tell you. I truly like them all!!!#I even like the sleezeball who has less charm than a dead rat. He's *my* darling little rat man. With every disease.#A special shout out to my lad (he is the lad of all time) Jamis Arlesi.#Who - upon walking into frame makes me go 'Sir! Is your bosom too heavy? Do you need a new bra? My hands are free on Thursdays!'#And Ludo! My lass! I love her dearly! Every page made me more fond of her.#Book smart and uses it in very good ways! Naive enough to think it is all she needs! Learns a lot and stays kind through the horrors!#I could go on and on but...you...the person reading this...you *are* going to read it - aren't you?#So I'd hate to spoil you any more! Go read Tiger Tiger! Do it! For the sea sponges!#Rumour has it they are also freshly divorced. It was messy. Sea sponge needs a distraction. That could be you. Distracting that sponge.#You wont know until you click that link and start reading!
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Oh to be held lovingly by your giant fish husband <3
#pressure roblox#sebastian solace#zerum#FISHBUNS SO CUTE.... I LOOOOVE WIFEGUYS SNIFFLES AND CRIES#“guy who hates everyone but his wife” is everything to me they're so cute CRYING INTO MY HANDS
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Scary Sunset.
I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art#deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement#but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way#when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too#fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory#and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her#anyways toxic yuri yayyy#my art#the grand galloping 20s#character design#i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days#i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate#is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey
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jizzie as flynn rider and rapunzel,, ignore the shitass quality i dont know why its so bad im gonna tweak out
#smallishbeans#ldshadowlady#jizzie#shadowbeans#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#ldshadowlady fanart#lizzie ldshadowlady#what else do i tag#my art#im gonna tweak#ignore the hands#i hate hands#I STILL DONT KNOW WHY THE QUALITY#IS SOOO BAD#tumblr hates me
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When your fav charas have no silly shenanigans
#no aigis hating on ryoji doesnt count#it was funny tho#atlus wont give me my favs interacting cowards#im taking matters into my own hands ((shakes fists))#art#illustration#my art#sketch#persona#makoto yuki#minato arisato#persona 3#persona 3 reload#ryoji mochizuki#persona 3 ryoji#aigis#persona 3 aigis
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the absolute unbearable cruelty that the writers foisted upon Cressida
a woman taught from the beginning in her home, by her own mother, that she cannot trust any other women, who finally, FINALLY felt she had a friend- who didn't care for her much at all. a woman who grew up in a house that is more akin to a mausoleum, a woman dressed up as a doll and made to masquerade and sing and dance for the attention of a half decent man, never to be considered seriously. a woman who is foisted onto a man old enough to be her grandfather, who wants 4 children from her, and intends to keep her locked up in his estate with at most 1 social outing a month, who didn't believe in listening to music, or art.
a woman who goes to the only person she ever considered a friend, saying 'I need to save myself. Run with me. Write with me. Help me.' only for that friend to turn her back on her, and talked ill of her for the rest of her time in her society. a woman who tried to claw her way out of a horrible circumstance, only to be told she's too stupid to do so. a woman who's mother wrote the article that insulted her friend's family, an article she still regretted. a woman who tried to save herself and was then sent off to an aunt even less warm than the circumstances she'd grown up in.
what was Cressida meant to do? she had no one to turn to, and when she tried, she was turned away. she had no options left to her, she exhausted all of them. yes, blackmailing Penelope was harsh, but I would have done almost anything to save myself from sexual assault at the hands of a husband old enough to be my father twice over who was clearly intending on mistreating me, especially if I was dropped by the only person I ever considered a friend.
Cressida's story is so fucking tragic. My heart cracked clean in half for her
#cressida cowper#eloise bridgerton#eloise turning her back on cressida to go back to penelope as if cressida hadn't been a good friend to her. . .#eloise i love you but that was FOUL#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#they could NEVER make me hate you cressida#i felt so much empathy for her you wouldn't even believe#the way i would have clawed my hands bloody trying to escape what they put her into
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these two are so interesting to me
characters belong to @canisalbus
#clenches fists. im so sosososo normal about them. i think about them a normal amount (lying)#actually the 2nd image is based on some sort of anime couple pose template(?????) that i saw a while back and wanted to draw them in it#but i swear to god i CANNOT FUCKING FIND IT. i was literally knee deep in yuri and yaoi fanart for hours trying to find that god damn photo#but i dont even know who the characters were and pinterest just shows me bakugou and deku making out sloppy style whenever i try#so i gave up an tried drawing it from memory and cried the whole time. i hate anatomy.. but they look so happy so its fine#god whenever i see Lore or sweet little tidbits for these two i want to tear into something with my teeth and throw something /pos#i genuinely want to study these gay little renaissance dogs under a microscope#what fucks me up is the fact that we all know it ends horribly but u cant help loving them anyway.. they are so. incoherent hand gestures#my art#myart#others ocs#vasco#machete#vaschete#furry art#fur#anthro
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blink and you'll miss it moments around skyhold....
#solavellan#solas#gotta put out some tender stuff to balance the chaos target team leader solas has caused.#look i just need to go feral in the tags for a moment#okay the fucking. what's he call himself? the great adversary of her people's mythology....falls in love w a woman being forced into a role#not unlike his own#i t makes me c r a z y#like at one point he's all ooooh we're elves need to make sure the humans trust us to ensure safety. gives them a castle......#then he's all ''ooh you cant change the way your legend is getting out of hand. might as well accept it''#but he disapproves if you lean into it/call yourself the herald.#he approves of you fighting against the status quo. encourages sera to sow chaos and has a VERY interesting convo w her about power#''what lop of the top?'' ''yes.'' ''well what's that do except make room for a new top to come and fuck it all up?''#at which point he fuckin STUTTERS and is like. oh fuck. you're right. my bad. and then he shuts up in quiet contemplation#he's clearly wrestling w himself. and Ohmygod the felassanstuff.#like the Guilt. the Regret.#haunting that fucking rotunda.#and yet he's so in love w lavellan if they go that route.#like clearly some stuff was missing/fumbled in game. but like#how he fuckin screams for the inquisitor at the well?????!?! OK BOI?!#im just. the dread wolf. great adversary of the dalish pantheon.#turns out to be some somber grim guy with a fatalistic sense of humor who hates tea and greatly values free will#pina art
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simp
#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life#this changes everything#I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle??#I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on#anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing#I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat#ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing#like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems#I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk#chuuya nakahara#dazai Osamu#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#myart#I’m gonna post and pass out now
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wife
#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate#my art#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart#black butler#black butler fanart#grelle sutcliff#grell sutcliff#anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush???#it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes#oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful#back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again#i haven't in a while#if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there#and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr#and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute#enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece
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Once you stop thinking about queer people's labels as strict indications of what's in their pants and who they do/don't bed and instead view queer people's labels as how they interact with the world, you'll find that you'll get along with queer people better and treat them better, I think.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#like of course some people use labels in the way i described first and i don't think that's inherently bad...#...but like. as a trans person i hate when people try to like... use my labels (or their labels they force on me) to say what's in my pants#i think there's a fone line between somebody using a label in the first way i described and somebody forcing their understanding of other...#...people onto them. like.#i think it can be a small shift in thought but it's helpful#it reminds me of the shirt that went around of the boston dyke march (<3) shirt design...#...which basically listed who was welcomed at the march and it was a super long list#if anybody is wondering what i'm talking about wrt the last two tags i have the image on hand
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mmm throwaway conversation between Dan and Danny that popped into my head that I had to write out:
"You spent ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, then went back in time and fought me, and lost." Danny snarls, arms crossed and throat tight. His mouth pulls back to bare dagger-sharp teeth, and his eyes burn with the familiar thrum of ectoplasm heating up behind his eyes. "If I didn't believe you were half of Vlad before, I do now."
His other self -- and really, can he even call him that? He's half of Vlad too. Two halves severed from each other and welded together to make a new whole, -- snaps his head over to him. Wild-eyed and furious, he looks unlike the man Danny fought before, the one unruffled and untouched, unbothered by the world around him. It's familiar, but not like the way a reflection is.
"What's that supposed to mean." The Other hisses, matching Danny's scowl one-for-one with fangs much bigger and sharper than his.
But there's a reason lions fear hyenas. Danny matches the rumble in The Other's chest with one of his own, and shoves his face close to his. "I don't lose."
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp prompt#danny phantom prompt#dan phantom#dark danny#not meant for any particular au i just had the idea of danny going 'wow you can tell you're half of vlad' to dan and when questioned abt it#he says; 'if you were REALLY only me you wouldn't have lost' which is fucking BASED as hell. and also technically true#thought process for danny here was 'hates dan's fucking GUTS bc he tried to kill his family and friends without remorse and would actively#rip out his throat without a moment's notice.' some fr 'im going to beat you to death with my bare hands!' vibes rn.#not totally in character for danny but also i was thinking that it got to this point bc dan was goading danny about 'being his future self'#when that's not technically true. he's half of vlad too he just has danny's face and powers. and he pissed off danny enough that he#retaliated. just not in the way dan expected. dan was expecting a physical attack not a verbal one.#danny called him a loser in more ways than one.#also the reason danny never calls him 'dan' in this is because i was thinking that danny doesn't actually *have* a name to call him. bc he'#certainly not danny. but he's not vlad either. he's someone else entirely. so 'The Other' it is.#danny fenton is not the ghost king#<- down here because while its still MY DP post its not DPXDC so it doesnt need to be front and center for people to see it.
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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