#my gods i adore susan so much

[siriusblack-the-third]

Matching Misfortunes: Susan Pevensie

I enjoyed writing this one so much. I hope you enjoy reading it just as much!

.

Susan’s cheeks hurt.

She smiles at the boy as he throws an arm around her and winks, and she feels the muscles of her face ache with the effort of holding a smile for hours and hours on end. She wants to shrug off the black-haired boy’s arm, wants to tell him to piss off and not bother her again lest she ask Peter to ensure his distance from her with violence, but she simply smiles at him.

She straightens her spine and smiles.

She ignores the glares her female classmates are throwing at her from all corners of the classroom. She is beautiful, she knows she is, but that does not mean he enjoys being the nectar to the bees that are the hormonal, idiotic boys of Westbrook. She has never enjoyed being known for her beauty, for it has always been nothing but a miserable curse— three wars had been fought for her hand in marriage over the course of twenty years, and Edmund has sometimes called her Helen of Troy for her troubles.

She hates that fucking name.

Her cheeks hurt. Yet, she smiles her most charming smile as she subtly leans away from Raymond— she has heard of the way he treats girls, and she has no interest in being one of his thrice-damned conquests. She has no interest in being a challenge, a trophy to be earned, a thing to be owned. She is to be respected, dammit, she is smart and keen-eyed and knowledgeable. Heaven’s sake, she is a Queen��

She breathes. Pushes the thought out of her mind. Maintains her smile.

Raymond smirks back, dull greyish blue eyes glinting like a broken steel sword in the sunlight that streams in through the windows, and tries to draw her closer to him using the arm that he has around her shoulder. Susan does not deign to move. She does not bother to pretend that she is not stronger than this arrogant youngling, this boy playing at being a man, and simply sits there, unmoving and seemingly oblivious, until he furrows his eyebrows and stops trying to move her without her permission.

Her cheeks hurt.

“C’mon, Pevensie,” he leers at her, and she stops herself from lifting a hand to her back. Five and a half years, and she still hasn’t forgotten the phantom presence of her quiver full of arrows, her bow made of the finest wood covered in intricate carvings.

“Say yes, darling,” he says, and she smiles so that she does not try to stab. “The party would be boring without the prettiest girl in school there.”

Susan has heard that compliment fall from the lips of powerful Kings and lovesick fools alike, and she has never been affected by it. Raymond falls into the third category of the people who have called her pretty, the one where they simply want to be known as the one who broke the prettiest girl’s heart, who claimed the love of the Beauty of Narnia—

She breathes in. Pushes the thought out of her mind. Maintains her smile.

“Well, I don’t know about that, Raymond,” she says in the smoothest, most convincing one that she can muster, and she does not fail to notice the way boys and girls alike sway towards her just to listen to her speak. She ignores the way her heart hums at being listened to, a song she has tried (and failed) to forget for five and a half years. “Parties aren’t really my fancy, you see.”

Raymond waves a hand lazily, and Susan wants to scoff at how far the action is from the effortlessness she is sure he wants to portray. He is an arrogant airbag of a boy with an inflated sense of importance playing at being a powerful man. “Oh, now we both know you’re lying, my darling.”

Susan feels the sudden urge to cut off his tongue, for daring to refer to him as his darling. Instead, she folds her hands in her lap and laughs softly, notices the way the students gathered around laugh with her as if following her lead. Her throat feels tight and her eyes burn, and she pushes both feelings away.

“No, I’m telling the truth,” she says, laughter colouring her words in just the right amount that tells everyone that they are welcome to laugh along and sure enough, they do. They do not take their eyes off of her, and follow her unspoken command by laughing along. She ignores the strange warmth that settles behind her heart in her chest. “I get too tired at parties, they’re too much for me.”

She loves parties. She has loved parties for ages and ages, since she was a nine-year-old child and she dressed up to let her father take her and mum out for dancing, and then a twenty-something year old Queen dressed in the finest silks and talking circles around Princes enchanted by her beauty and Kings madly in love with her—

She breathes in. Pushes the thought out of her mind. Maintains her smile.

Raymond’s arm tightens around her shoulders. Susan’s fingers twitch, but she forcefully presses her hand into her lap to stop herself from reaching for the quiver that no longer hangs from her back. There is no quiver. There is no bow. She is a schoolgirl, not an archer. She has textbooks in the bag that hangs from her back. She is a schoolgirl.

“Oh, be a sport, Pevensie,” Raymond scoffs, and Susan wants to rise to her full height and demand that he treat her with the respect she deserves. “It’s just one party, and it’s the first party of term. C’mon, you can even be my date.”

Susan ignores the way the glares are once again aimed at her, ignores the disgust that roils in her stomach, and masterfully stops her smile from curving into a disdainful sneer. An arrogant boy playing at being a powerful man, who wishes that she would clamour for his love. Ha. She has seen many thousands of men just like him.

Many thousands of men trying to seem more important than they are, vying for her attention, looking to claim her, looking to own her, aiming for her throne and her kingdom—

All of them learnt to fear her over time.

All of them learnt over time that she was not just Beauty. They learnt that she was not just respected for her looks. They learnt, over time, that she was Beauty and Brains and Brawn. She was beautiful, she was the peacekeeper, and she was the most talented archer in all the known lands. She was a dangerous enemy to make, and despite her preference for non-violence, would not hesitate to hand out gruesome and painful deaths if needed.

Susan is Gentle, not Harmless.

Men learnt over time, in Narnia, and so will Raymond learn it in England.

She straightens her spine and gently shrugs off Raymond’s arm. He tries to move it back to its former place, and she stares at him with a smile she knows looks too wide and too sharp, making him stop halfway through his movement. That is one good thing that comes out of being truly beautiful— Beauty, true Beauty, is terrifying. It is deadly. It is something that a simple human cannot help but be bewitched by, and Susan knows this. She has known this for decades. She has successfully used this piece of knowledge to her kingdom’s benefit time and again.

Raymond does not try to throw his arm over her shoulder again, and Susan makes sure her smile goes back to its most charming as she engages the rest of the students.

“I will have to decline your.. generous offer,” she says, laying the sarcasm on so thinly that only Edmund would have noticed.

Alas, her dearest younger brother is not here to witness her exercise her power over her classmates. If he were, he would have enjoyed watching them move to her word like mice moved to the Pied Piper’s tune. He is absurd like that, but who is she to deny him his entertainment?

“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” she sighs as she pushes herself off the desk and stands to her full, impressive height. She brushes her hands over her skirt, takes her water bottle from a boy with a soft smile that has him blushing bright red, and waves to everyone. Without saying a word more, she walks out of the classroom with her head held high and her shoulders pulled back.

Her cheeks hurt.

She walks in silence, ignoring the students that mill around in the corridors of the school. The girl’s bathroom is on the floor above, and it takes her barely a minute to reach it; people clear a way for her, moving out of her path as she walks with measured and careful steps. They do it almost without noticing that they are, almost like a force is making them do it.

Susan locks the door of the bathroom behind her, takes a good look around to make sure she is alone, and bursts into silent tears.

She drops her bag to the floor and leans her back against the door, screwing her eyes shut and letting the tears run down her cheeks and drip off her jaw. Her chest heaves with quiet sobs, and she sucks in shuddering breaths as she slides down to sit on the floor with her head buried between her knees. The warmth behind her heart turns into a painful burning sensation, and she chokes on her tears and emotions that she cannot fully understand.

No matter how much she tries to bury her memories behind smiles that sway the students, no matter how much she tries to forget, she knows what she is. She knows what she always was, and what she always will be.

She is Queen Susan the Gentle of Narnia, the Eagle-Eyed Marksman Queen, Second of the Beloved Four, Defender of the People.

[harlowes-home]

finished mort.

That ending made me feel so many emotions I am kind of reeling and sobbing right now

[solelyseeking]

AITA for trying to bag the new kid at my school? PART 3.

Due to the continued lack of progress, I am back, seeking help from the vagrant scum of this subreddit.

Dear basement dwellers and unwashed perverts: If even I, Tom Riddle, cannot get a date, then there truly is no hope for the rest of you.

Time to freshen up your cleaning charms and “lock in”.

For those of you whining about how I ought to just ‘approach him like a normal person’- I am not a normal person. I am a God, baptized in the blood of my enemies. Stop giving me meaningless platitudes, and start helping me smell his hair!

His little sycophant has been following him around everywhere, which has only made approaching him harder. Orion calls himself Harry’s ‘best friend’, but everyone knows Harry only hangs out with him because he feels so sorry for him. (Generations of inbreeding made one ugly baby lol!)

Harry’s very charitable like that. All the more reason to indoctrinate him into my cult, but he’s being weirdly stubborn about the whole thing?

“I don’t wanna learn dark magic, Tom.”

“I don’t believe in blood surpremacy, Tom.”

“Stop trying to take me into your murder dungeon, Tom.”

Isn’t that ridiculous? Anyone with half a brain would love to be invited into my murder dungeon the esteemed chamber built by my lineage!

Harry is very lucky to have so many muscles, as no one expects much brilliance from him. Still, I know he’s cleverer than he lets on. Just the other day, he noticed me cursing Grace Bell for lingering too long outside of the Quidditch changing rooms.

I was just looking out for him. And clearly I was right to do so, since I caught her creeping around while I was waiting for him to emerge, shirtless and damp, from his post game shower. Imagine the kind of obsessed weirdos he’d have to deal with if I wasn’t there to curse them all!

Still, other people would have been totally fooled- but not Harry. He gets me.

Clearly, he’s paying a lot of attention to me, so how can I capitalize on that? I tried spilling a bit of my potion on him in class the other day, so I could remove my shirt sensually and dry the liquid off of him. Only, then he started shouting at me about how I “wasn’t going to get away with this like I did with Myrtle.”

See- another example of how well he knows me! (That’s a girl I killed near my murder dungeon lol)

As you can see, this is a dire situation. Hurry up and provide me with some useful information before he kisses the incest baby.

Harry is very handsome, and I cannot afford to waste time. I have enclosed a photograph of him so that you wastes of genetic material understand the stakes.

[Harry_Potter_Riddle.Jpeg]

suziehiggins: oh, i get it. that guy is adorable

| OP: Stay away from my man, Susan.

Orion.Black: @harryjamespotterr

| OP: You will rue this day, you incestuous hellspawn.

harryjamespotter: Tom, is this some kind of prank?

| OP: Who is Tom I’ve never heard that name in my life.

| harryjamespotter: you literally posted a picture of yourself in the last update…

| ed_hardy: It’s okay, he was just catfishing

| OP: NO I WAS NOT

goonermachine: did you doodle Tom + Harry = Soulmates all over his picture?

| OP: I know you have eyes so I don’t see why you’re asking me such a stupid question. Yes

[car-o-line]

HIII!!! I LOVE YOU'RE POPPY PLAYTIME WORK SO MUCH!!! Could you do a jack kevin and matthew where the reader was jacks younger sibling and came back to the factor years later in there teens and a little reunite with each other (I NEED THEM TO BE BROUGHT OUT OF THE FACTORY AND READER SAYING TO DOEY BEACUSE THEY ARE 3 KIDS "So does that mean I have 3 brothers now?" Or somtehing like that sorry for this being long lol)

THE POPPY PLAYTIME STREAK CONTINUES🙏🙏🙏 this is literally adorable, if y/n and Jack are happy then I’m happy as well.

The Doey consciences with Jacks younger sibling who reunites with him<3

Info:

I think Jack is around 8 or something, so for the sake of that let’s just say that he was born in 1985 and made into Doey in 1993.

You were 4 years younger than Jack so you were 4 when he “passed” away.

Now you’re 13 and the reason you’re at Playcare is because you turned into an orphan there when erm, Kevin(I think) killed both your and Jacks parents.

You weren’t brought down to the labs like the other orphans, instead you snuck away from the Prototypes sight and paired up with Poppy to save the other orphans.

Sorry if this makes no sense, y/n lore is weird.

Also this is me editing, half of Jacks stuff is based about a whole ton of things so sorry about that😭

Jack Ayers:

He adored you when he had a normal life.

He would always be excited to play games or toys with you even if the toys you chose weren’t to his liking.

You were actually at the Playtime visit when Jack fell into the vat of dough, but the memory was so vague you could barely remember it.

All you knew is that your older brother, who wasn’t even that old, had gotten into an accident at the Playtime facility.

Then your parents got a call, a call to come visit the factory and see their “son” again. It would lead to their demise.

“Yes. It’s mommy and daddy and y/n! you remember, don’t you?”

“Leave. Me. Alone.”

“Hey. Hey, you’ll be okay. I promise. Mommy’s only here to talk.”

“No, no I don’t WANT to talk. Get out!”

“Susan, I think we should leave…”

“Jackie, I’m staying right here. I’m not leaving you. Not ever again, do you hear me?”

“The gentle voices lie. I know what they do, they lie..and they poke..and they hurt!”

“Mommy won’t lie to you, mommy won’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you-”

“Hey… hey open this door! Oh god, Susan! PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR LET Y/N AND I OUT! PLEASE-”

Unfortunately, both your mother and father died during that incident, that’s how you could recall everything. Their death was recorded on the VHS tape.

You were saved by a scientist who grabbed you out the last minute before Doey could do any harm to you.

After that you were brought down to the orphanage.

Fast forward into when you run into Pianosaurus and he tried to attack you.

And we all know what happened to him :(

But it’s okay because he wanted to kill you(I’m gaslighting myself rn)

Anyway! Matthew who was in charge at the time was shocked to see a child who was barely even a teenager.

So, he lead you to Safe Haven right away, he didn’t need a kid to be doing tasks for him and Poppy.

You went with him without resistance because even if you didn’t admit it, you were tired as hell.

You rested up in Safe Haven, unlike the player the toys were actually welcoming towards you. Some even recognized you as their past friend.

But there was a specific boy who recognized you more than anyone.

“I know them..I love them.”

“Huh..? Jack, you just met Y/n.”

“Y/n..y/n Ayers. Y/n Ayers right?!”

My boy was saying that out of excitement.

He let his emotions take him over and immediately went to go find you.

He was a bit overwhelming to say the least, Matthew had to calm him down.

Eventually he did calm down and Matthew and Kevin left him in control so he could speak with you as his brother.

He sat down on the ground while you laid in one of the Safe Haven beds. He grabbed your hand in his and played with your finger tips, curious.

You both talked for a bit, he apologized profusely for everything you’ve been through.

He told you about Matthew and Kevin, to which you asked if that meant that you have 3 brothers now. He pouted for a moment before nodding slightly, if it also went by his logic they were also his brothers. So it’d make sense that they’re your brothers as well.

Matthew Hallard:

Okay first off.

He’s pissed at Poppy for letting a CHILD do her dirty work for her, so he’ll definitely have a discussion with her about that later.

He’s more focused on not letting you out of Safe Haven for now, trying to make sure you’re as comfortable as you can be in a place like this.

Then he overheard something odd from Jack, talking to Kevin.

“We they were tinier, I’d let them ride my back like a horse..they really liked it.”

“Hm.”

“When who was younger Jack?”

“Me and Y/n! They’re my family!”

He immediately whipped his head towards him, calling a “I’m sorry?” at that.

It makes him remember when those people came by, saying Jack was their son. And a little child in their father’s arms, that was you. They killed your parents.

Either you didn’t mention it or completely forgot since it was long ago, either way he felt horrible. Even if it wasn’t directly his fault, he was part of the reason you were here. In this hell.

He made extra sure to treat you as gently and as kindly as he could, and make Kevin behave himself around you. He thought that it could bring flashbacks that you don’t want to remember.

Once you figured out about Jack being part of Doey, and talked with him a bit, Matthew asked you a few questions himself.

Nothing deep, just what your favorite animal was, or your favorite toy at Playtime was. Just a few icebreakers.

When you asked him if him and Kevin were basically your brothers now since they’re apart of Jack he gave you a wink and his signature smile.

(he thought you were too cute he could die)

“Of course!! Everyone here is family, especially us four.”

Kevin Barnes:

Like Matthew, Kevin was a bit pressed about Poppy having such a young person to fill out her list of commands, but he wasn’t too upset that he had to scream at her about it, he just thought she was stupid. Because, thinking logically, they were all kids. So what’s one more going to change?

He was wrong🫶

He was..more tolerant around you. Matthew tells him that you’ve been through enough already and that you needed to stay in Safe Haven and get rest, and he actually agreed with that himself.

Butttttttttttttt, he’s more thoughtful about he, Matthew and Jack, more than a teenager he just met.

That was until Jack said something about you.

“Kevin! Let me tell you something!”

“No-”

“I know Y/n!”

“Me too.”

“No, like before everything! They’re my family!”

“What.”

So that’s how Kevin started to pity you<3

He took the liberty of asking Matthew about you, information that he got from Jack..and that odd VHS tape.

Just because he finds you tolerable, that doesn’t mean he likes you(he loves you like you a sibling and he hates it)

So when you asked him if that since Jack is your brother, and that he’s stuck with him and Matthew that makes you and him siblings to.

His eyes watered a bit but shhhh(he needs a hug)

He still said you were a dumbo.

#Kevin’sLoveLanguage

I hate my life my writing was way too confusing to be this long😭

[charliemwrites]

Ur nikto krueger konig meowmeow neighbor au had my hand itching and i cannot resist itchy urges so i hope u like it

sorry i couldn't find any descriptions of Little Guy so i just whipped up a black Scottish fold hihi

and also Shithead Susan chaos-ing Krueger's hood from the game

I love love love everything u write and i hope the passion is there for whatever subject/project u desire and forever (๏ᆺ๏υ)

Oh. Oh my god? My heart 😭😭 thank you thank you thank you for this!!!!! They’re absolutely perfect and I adore your art style. Konig and Nikto having a great time and Krueger out here struggling with Shithead Susan 💕💕💕

This means so fucking much to me oh my god. Seriously you have no idea. It’s changing my brain chemistry as we speak. I could go on and on.

I hope you get the sweetest dreams, the comfiest blankies, and the best drawing inspo ❤️

[firephoenix2305]

AGHASBNSDLBFGKSDNVBKXCBVKDB KZXBFV I'M SORRY I NEED TO SCREEEEAAAAAAM

THE CHEMISTRY. THE FLIRTING. THE PROPOSAL (which was real as far as I'm concerned). THE DANCING. THE KISS. THE EVERYTHING. THEM. JUST THEM.

THIS EPISODE WAS IMMACULATE.

I just...I...just....

They're so...they're just...

AAGHTFJGFIEJKGBISDJFBJKB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTEN. LISTEN. LISTEN.

I just spent an ENTIRE 43 MINUTES squealing and twirling my hair like a SCHOOLGIRL because these two...

THESE TWO...

ARE

TOO

GOD

DAMN

CUTE AKLJFHKAJSFHJKSHBFJDH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOUR HONOR THEY ARE SOULMATES.

This entire episode has made me so happy.

And what a bittersweet ending. Although, what is it with the love of The Doctor's life getting stuck in alternate dimensions? Bit of a parallel with Rose there...

Anyway, digressing. Where was I? Oh, yeah!

ALBNFKKLBVSKVBJKB!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM. I ADORE THEM. I MEAN, LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY HEART IS EXPLODING. JUST. JUST....AAAAAAAH I AM BLUSHING LIKE A GODDAMNED IMBECILE OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Need I tell you how I screamed my little lungs out with...

"Find me"

"FIND ME"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THEY ARE SO IN LOVE STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Takes a deep breath*

Terribly sorry, I don't know what has gotten into me with this episode. Possibly one of my favorite Doctor Who episodes ever. Certainly this season's best so far, Imo.

Did I mention I love The Doctor and Rogue? And that they are extremely adorkable and that they're killing me and that I will fangril over them until my dying breath? Probably did.

I am so invested in these two I didn't even pay much attention to Susan Twist. Or the fact that the bad guys were canonically roleplaying Bridgerton cosplayers. Or to Ruby, really (bless her).

New hiperfixation unlocked. This is going to be great and horrible at the same time. It's like ineffable husbands all over again. I need fics. Like right now. Please. Thank you.

And one more thing. Just one more, I promise, and then I'll stop shouting in your ear :)

If Rogue (aka the love of The Doctor's life/fiancé and nobody can tell me otherwise) is not brought back at some point during Ncuti's run I WILL START A FUCKING RIOT. I MEAN IT. I WILL MARCH INTO THE BBC WITH A TORCH AND A PITCHFORK AND I WILL....

*Takes another deep breath*

Ahem. That got a little away from me...

Anyway, that's all. Thanks for bearing. Shout with me in reblogs or replies if you want. If anyone needs me I'll be rewatching the scene of them in the TARDIS approximately three thousand times and smiling at my screen like an idiot.

Good evening. <3

PS: Haven't been this excited about a TV couple since Good Omens, and THAT is saying something.

PPS: I just went on a crazy gif hunt and might have now possibly got a folder full of Doctor X Rouge (Someone tell me when you come up with a ship name please) gifs. So I have absolutely no clue who made what. But yeah, they're not mine, and whover created them...thanks!

[panelshowsource]

rather than who you would like to see on the next taskmaster series, who do you think will be on it? like just your predictions or any inklings you may have!

anon if you're still around then you'll know i really took my time with this hahaha so sorry! i hope anyone reading this takes it as just a bit of fun and nbd, who knows who we'll get or who alex & the network have in mind! i'm answering thoughtfully (bc i always feel guilty not to 😩 so sorry this is long lol) but it's really just fun!!

i will say, of the more recent-ish series, i did get a few right!!! krishnan guru-murthy, nicola coughlan, alan davies, judi love, sue perkins, john robins, and joanne mcnally were people i just knew would eventually be on if the show could get their schedules right, and i was also certain sarah millican and dara ó briain would be asked — though not necessarily that they'd actually agree. when you have a level of seniority and esteem, the "it's such a great opportunity" aspect of the show isn't such a draw 😅 for some reason i feel SO PROUD about guessing nicola! i was just WAITING and wish sooooo much she had done a full series 😭😭😭 (how fun would saoirse-monica jackson be too!)

anyways, as for people who haven't been on yet — and this isn't to say i want them all to be, just that i think it's likeliest they have been asked or will be asked; i talked about who i want to see a little while ago here — it's important to consider the casting 'roles' the network has in mind when working with the producers to form a series, so i will keep that in mind too!

established comedian, typically a straight white man over 40: bill bailey, vic reeves, harry hill, geoff norcott, kevin bridges, adam buxton, ade edmondson, paul whitehouse (tommy tiernan? god i feel bad for not saying ed byrne but why do i feel like he's not gonna make it in the next few series? i'm on the fence with nick helm — unless he's friends with alex, then his chances go up significantly imo — and tom allen for some reason, and i feel like john bishop is almost too much of an ask?)

fresh talent comedian, typically a man under 40: rhys james, huge davies, ahir shah, darren harriott would be my top guesses but tbh any of the semi-recent edinburgh comedy award finalists are good bets as a majority of the winners from the last ~10 years have been on the series + throwing out tom rosenthal (i know he's not fresh fresh and also mostly an actor)...and, like, jazz emu?...just because if taskmaster know how much its audience adores weird little white twinks then they'll cast them

female or non-binary comedian: 100% sarah keyworth + harriet kemsley, maisie adam, jess fostekew, suzi ruffell. i've shifted away from betting on cariad lloyd and catherine bohart for some reason... (joanne was my no.1 lady bet for the last like 4 series hahaha)

non-comedian: this is very, very hard to predict because between comedy actors, non-comedy actors, tv presenters, news people, reality & social media stars... the potential predictions are just so endless! logically, the most likely is an established actor with a lot of comedy connections (think sally phillips, lolly adefope, liza tarbuck, sian gibson, daisy may cooper, susan wokoma; this category is where tm gets quite a few of its female contestants): matt holness, kevin eldon, amanda abbington, tom davis, sharon horgan, kathy burke, georgia tennant (also friends w alex?), su pollard, tom basden, apparently anyone from the cast of ghosts, and so on and so on and so on... + i'll also throw out maggie aderin-pocock as a serious contender + i really feel like one of the spice girls will be on new years treat

friend of alex: john robins was the prediction for the past few series, so just worth keeping in mind other people in this circle include elis james, matthew crosby, tom neenan, and so on

freebie answers because alex/greg have mentioned them before: jack dee, lorraine kelly, joanna lumley (i want jennifer saunders SO BAD give us an epic series w both ade and jen pleaseeee tm gods!!!!)

complete wild card bets that are either my instincts kicking in or my bias taking over: limmy, adam buxton, paddy mcguinness, diane morgan, daniel sloss, joel dommett, jess hynes, spencer jones??, alasdair beckett-king or josh pugh + if suzy izzard wasn't doing a big nyc show i'd say that's a good guess if only bc you know greg & alex grew up big fans

did i mention too many people?? if i had to put my money behind a single person it would be either ahir shah or sarah keyworth

these are almost all of my fr big heavy hitters when it comes to placing bets! but there are of course so many people i didn't name who i could totally see on either a main series or the ny treat — so many people just make sense and that's the beauty of taskmaster!!

[leashybebes]

Random question incoming.

What is you favorite Discworld subseries? (Watch, Witches, Wizards, Death or stand alones?)

ohhhh okay so by random question, i assume you meant "ramble for ten solid minutes about one of my oldest special interests", right?

SO. gun (gonne) to my head, i would probably say the watch books because night watch is one of my favourite books of all time, not just my favourite discworld books. i also read books like jingo at a formative age and they have stayed with me SO MUCH. ALSO. the subversion of the fantasy tropes in discworld is one of my favourite things about the series, and one of the subversions of all time has got to be carrot's "birthright" stuff. as someone who is pretty strongly anti-monarchy, this storyline and the ways it informs the relationship between carrot and vimes is SO GOOD. also also, some of my favourite secondary characters come to us via the watch books, and sam and sibyl are one of my all time favourite fictional relationships ("not a gentleman but a gentle man" rewired my brain istg)

THAT SAID. the first discworld book i read was reaper man, and i do think some of the best philosophy in the series comes in the death books. what can the harvest hope for, if not the care of the reaper man? i'm not religious or spiritual in the slightest but GOD that line makes me wish i was. and of course the whole discussion in hogfather about justice and fairness, the big lies and the little lies. they're just untouchable. and without the death books, we wouldn't have SUSAN. character of all time, SUSAN STO HELIT. she's cynical, she's stern, she's a born educator who knows that children are horrible little gremlins, she's DEATH'S GRANDDAUGHTER. no one's doing it like her.

and then THAT SAID, the witches??? idk man, i really really struggle to separate these from the death books in terms of my ranking because granny?? hello??? i have been able to read the shepherd's crown only twice because i can't see through my fucking tears, good lord. the part in witches abroad where she confronts lily ("because i had to be the good one") speaks to some complicated family stuff of my own and will forever have a place in my heart. and the part where she's trapped in the mirrors and has to find "the real one" and just immediately looks down at herself and says "this one" is like. that's what i aspire to be and to have. and GOD, as a fat, anxious little kid, agnes/perdita was just such a revelation to me. and of course, via the OG witches we get tiffany aching, my queen of cognition and meta-cognition. and of course, because i love a horny old lady, NANNY OGG. and GREEBO. and MAGRAT, my beloved. god, there's just so much in these books to adore.

so the wizards, i adore them as characters, but the wizard focused books generally aren't my favourites, possibly because so many of them are from so early on when i feel like pterry was still finding his voice/world etc. so while the archchancellor (aka fantasy ron swanson c'mon) is a delight and while as someone who works in academia, the commentary on universities is EVERYTHING to me, they don't tend to make the top of my list.

the standalones are easy to lose sight of, because of the (general) lack of tie-in to the wider world BUT a couple of special shout outs:

moving pictures (or is this considered a wizards book?) for the NEVER ENDING parade of puns and references, some of which i STILL get for the first time when i re-read

small gods. THIS BOOK. THIS BOOK, y'all. there are so many things i adore about it, but possibly nothing more than the scene in the inquisitors' office that gives rise to these lines: "And it all meant this:  that there are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal, kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do."

monstrous regiment. WHAT IN THE GENDER. i feel like this, along with things like the development of the dwarfs throughout the series really show what an amazing, kind, loving and thoughtful a person pterry was. GOD i miss him.

lol okay this got even longer than anticipated and i'm STILL NOT DONE. one of the things i love best about this series is that there really is something for everyone. my dad is NOT a fantasy reader in the slightest, but even he liked men at arms and guards! guards!. a friend of mine was struggling to get into the books but because i Know Him and his interests i was able to say "bro. carpe jugulum. immediately." my mum wasn't much of a reader at the time, but i knew that equal rites would get her, and it did.

exTREMEly tl;dr:

1. watch books 2/3. (impossible to separate) death books and witches books 4. standalones 5. wizards

lmao, thank you so much for the ask, i just enjoy thinking and rambling about these books so much 💕

"do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?" gnu sir terry.

[jamieroyjamieroy]

Wine Drunk

Thanks @xtarmanderx for the idea 💜

“He does look stupidly cute when he falls asleep when we watch movies though. Even if he has the volume on a dumb level.” Luca grouses. “Rocker is so stupidly adorable with, with his crinkly face when he smiles. And his hands, oh my god his hands are so big and strong. But who needs hands that big?” Luca considers this as best as his drunken mind can, those hands have done some wonderful things. “Although it is great when he takes… I can’t say that to you oh my god.” He’s drunk but he can’t say that to Rocker’s mother no matter how much wine he has had. They both giggle at Luca’s gasp of horror over what he nearly said out loud.

“Like I don’t know what you two get up too. I maybe old but I’m not blind. Nice hickey you got there. And you have big hands too. And your muscles have to be as big as Donny’s” Susan looks at Luca and they burst out into giggles again.

“Well then I probably shouldn’t tell you how last night he held both my wrists with one hand and” Luca starts to say.

“Nope, nope, nope that’s enough of that” Rocker interrupts walking into the room, he doesn’t need his parents hearing about his sex life.

Tales of Ruca

[hellishdeer]

Live reactions and ramblings about the two final episodes of Hazbin Hotel

Warnings: SPOILERS!!! Same as the other two posts, Incoherent, unfiltered thoughts, I wrote them as I was watching. Most of them are in chronological order, but not all. It's also longer than the others, since It's the finale 💀

EPISODE 7:

Everybody already knows Vaggie is an angel?! I thought she would still try to keep it on the down low after coming back, but hey, good for her!

SIR PENTIOUS PETTING KEEKEE 😭❤️

Charlie has hooves :00

Alastor just kicking his feet please- 💀 why is he so babygirl coded

"Just because you see a smile, don't think you know what's going on underneath." This entire piece of dialogue might be on of my new favorite Alastor moments ngl

ALASTOR ONLY OFFERED HIS INFORMATION IN EXCHANGE FOR A DEAL WITH CHARLIE I FUCKING CALLED IT-

THE DEAL MAKING SCENE OOOOO

"What's that you said about smiles?" "Good girl :)" The head pat I can't- 😭

"Bank accounts are scam created by the shadow-goverment!" 💀

Alastor listening to Charlie vent :'D he seems so fucking done

"Come on now Alastor, she's much too young for you! Just kidding, I know you're an ace in the hole!" "A what now?" I ADORE ROSIE ALREADY

"Tell Auntie Rosie what she can do for you!" 🥹❤️

"Susan, who's a bit of a..." "Ornery old bitch?" Alastor has stopped holding back all together, huh? 💀

CARMILLA FIGHTING BY KICKING WITH HER ARMS BEHIND HER BACK YOOOOOO-

"You have an X over your eye, and you wield an angelic spear. It's not exactly rocket science." The entire Hazbin fandom:

CARMILLA'S SHOES ARE ANGELIC STEEL?!??! I mean duh but

The dance choreography in "Out of Love" is goddamn stellar!!

VAGGIE'S WINGS LET'S GOOOOOOOO-

The entire scene with Rosie talking to Charlie, she's such a fucking sweetheart and one of my new favorites!! ❤️

Alastor letting Charlie borrow his microphone!!!

"She's bound to pass the test as the princess of Hell!" There's a test??? Hopefully I'm taking this too literally, because otherwise there is a lot of new unanswered questions 💀

"She's filled with potential that I could guide!" ..Is anyone really surprised at this point?

THEY ALL STAYED AND FORTIFIED THE HOTEL I'M SOBBING-

EPISODE 8:

"Oh Alastor, I can't wait to see you get fucked!" Vox sweetie, do you even know who you're talking about?

GENERAL PENTIOUS!!!! HE LOOKS SO GOOD OH MY GOD 😭❤️

Even getting off a random ass pole, Angel has to do it in style :'D

Cherri Bomb is there too, hell yeah!!

Cherri ffs, can you at least pretend to care about Charlie's speech 💀

"An enjoyable collective to be around, I admit one could get accustomed.." OH MY GOD????

THE KING OF ROACHES 😭😭❤️ I need to draw it at some point

ANGEL WANTING TO SPEND HIS POSSIBLY FINAL NIGHT ALIVE WITH HUSK AT THE BAR I-

SIR PENTIOUS TRYING TO SAY "I LOVE YOU" TO CHERRI BOMB Cherri if you don't want him I'll take him!!

THEY MADE THE TWO DICKS THING CANON WHAT- 💀

Charlie being afraid of loosing all of her friends :(

"MORE THAN ANYTHING (REPRISE)" *quiet sobbing*

Even Adam thinks Lute should chill the fuck out :'D

EVERYBODY'S BATTLE OUTFITS, ESPECIALLY CHARLIE'S AND VAGGIE'S :OO

"Let the slaughter begin." CHILLS.

NIFTY STABBING THE CORPSES 😭😭

"I'm about to end your fucking life." FUCK 👏 HIM 👏 UP 👏 ALASTOR

THE ENTIRE FIGHT BETWEEN ALASTOR AND ADAM my 15 year old self is having a stroke

HE BROKE ALASTOR'S FUCKING MICROPHONE?!??!!?

"Radio is not dead, but it is ending this broadcast.." Even when retreating from the battlefield, he does so with class, I love him so much-

Charlie apologizing to the angles as she's fighting them, this girl-

THE KISS!!! THE SCREAM I SCREAMT.

On a more serious note I really hope that Cherrisnake won't develop further than this. They have clearly very different needs and wants, that I can't see mixing together very well. Cherri enjoys being free and doing as she pleases, with nothing tying her down, whereas Sir Pentious seems more traditional. It's also kind of shallow on both ends, Sir Pentious developing a crush seemingly out of no where, because "ooo hot lady!" and Cherri only being actually interested in sleeping with him after finding out he supposedly has two dicks.. :/

THEY FUCKING KILLED SIR PENTIOUS AND IN SUCH AN ANTI-CLIMATIC WAY FUCK YOU ADAM??!? I kinda saw this coming after it was said Angel wasn't the one to die but

RAZZLE AND DAZZLE TURNING INTO DRAGONS LET'S GOOO!! FUCK THEM UP GIRLS!!

THE FIGHT BETWEEN LUTE AND VAGGIE IS STRAIGHT UP BRUTAL OH GOD-

Charlie's devil tail :0

LUTE RIPPING HERSELF FREE FROM THE RUBBLE I'm just straight up terrified of her at this point

LUCIFER?!!? LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!!!!

"Sorry I wasn't here sooner." YEAH ME TOO BECAUSE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER MIGHT STILL BE ALIVE IF YOU DID 🙃 But seriously where was he??? Surely he had heard about his daughter going to war against HEAVEN????

IT WAS A MASK??? I love how Adam just looks like.. a guy.

Lucifer not taking the fight at all seriously, I love him :'D

FATHER/DAUGHTER TAG TEAM WOOOO!! GET FUCKED ADAM.

NIFTY KILLED ADAM???!!? I'M SO PROUD OF YOU GIRL!!!! ❤️👏

BAXTER??? IS THAT YOU????

Nifty just zoning out during the TV interview, I love when jokes go full circle :D

THE "HAPPY FIRST WEEK SIR PENTIOUS" BANNER. I'M.. VIOLENTLY ILL. SOBBING. THROWING UP. CURLING UP INTO A BALL-

ALASTOR'S PART IN THE FINALE SONG. I got some serious chills. He looked actually frantic, only for him to pop up later, pretending like nothing is wrong, he's such a good character oh my god???

THE MEMORIAL FOR SIR PENTIOUS. I GET IT. STOP TWISTING THE KNIFE IN THE WOUND IM BEGGING YOU-

SIR PENTIOUS MADE IT TO HEAVEN I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW, HE LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL 😭❤️ VIV DON'T EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN OR I SWEAR- I also love Emily's and Sera's reactions to him pffft

LILITH HAS BEEN IN HEAVEN THIS ENTIRE TIME??? HUH????

I... feel like I'm going to combust. There was so much new information.. I need to go lay down and sleep for like a day.. or two 🙃

[billpottsismygf]

Empire of Death

That was a very enjoyable 55 minutes, but I can't help but feel a little underwhelmed. So much happened and I enjoyed a lot of it, so it's going to take a while for me to fully untangle all my thoughts, but my current feelings are mixed. First, for things I liked!

I loved Gabriel Woolf's delivery; it's just as good now as it was 44 years ago, with so much menace but also a great subtlety to it. I also actually quite liked Sutekh's redesign this time. It feels like a nicely scaled up version of his bat face mask at the end of The Pyramids of Mars. I also like a lot of the ideas at play here. I like the Doctor realising he has literally trailed destruction in his wake, especially after him saying he brings disaster last episode. I like the Doctor killing Sutekh and saying that Sutekh has won because of that - coward or killer returns, and this time he was forced to choose killer. It also places the Fourth Doctor's lack of remorse for killing Sutekh originally into an interesting contrast. I'm also generally fine with the Doctor taking Sutekh back through the vortex and bringing death to death. I'm not entirely sold on why that works, but it's fine in the context of the episode.

However, there were issues at play. The level of destruction wants to make this feel extremely important and epic, and it did remind me of Flux at times but with more emotional reaction from the Doctor and companions, but, much like Flux, it did more to undermine itself than anything. For instance, Kate's death really shook me (and everyone else in the room, but I was focused on Kate). I fully expected some people to not make it out of this episode alive, so it seemed very possible that she might actually be dead. However, as soon as the death dust spread out a certain amount, I knew it would have to be undone and that Kate et al. would be absolutely fine. Now, I love an 'everybody lives', but it just fails to have any stakes at all when it's so obvious that that will be the outcome.

Mel's death was similarly shocking, though I was a bit more prepared for it. Again, I thought there was a real possibility she might really be dead because she wasn't dissolved like the others but turned into an agent of Sutekh. However, I didn't fully trust it because I could already tell there were going to be a lot of death retcons, and indeed her death seemed to be undone just as easily as everyone else's. Susan Triad too, of course, who seemed entirely unfazed by being a transplanetary and transtemporal being with thousands of different existences.

What actually is Susan's initial origin? We know why she was everywhere and why she's called Susan, but not who she actually was originally or why Sutekh created/used her specifically. Continuing with the agents of Sutekh, what about Harriet? Her name is Harbinger, so is she like that little boy from The Devil's Chord? Or is she like Susan or Mel and is still just a person underneath it all? I think she got killed for real by the TARDIS blast when the Doctor whistles open what I assume is the heart of the TARDIS (though that's never actually said), but this is not focused on at all. Does she not matter? She may be the only person to actually die in this story and I had to go and check the episode again just now to make sure she really had. It all seems rather underexplained and underwhelming - and unfair! Justice for Harriet!

Another underwhelming aspect was Ruby's mother. Now, don't get me wrong, I adored the Doctor's speech about Ruby's mother being ordinary and being important because they think she is, like gods but also like people. However, it's extremely underwhelming after the question of who she is has been hyped up so much. More problematically, I just do not buy that Sutekh cares so much about her. I'll see what I think on rewatch, but right now I'm just left wondering what all this was about. Sutekh's desperation, the extremely dramatic pointing, the way she flickered and moved about in the time window, the way the memory changed, the goddamn snow! What does it all mean? I really liked Ruby reuniting with her, but there's a disconnect between the set up and the pay off.

Mrs Flood is a remaining mystery, but at least she's meant to be. Last week gave the impression that she was malicious, but in her interactions with Cherry this episode she doesn't seem so at all, and her remark about the cup of tea not happening now seems to be just because she knows Sutekh will kill them both. She's even got her arms around Cherry and calls the Doctor 'that clever boy'. We're back to her speaking directly to the audience, and this time as an all-knowing narrator figure. It feels very book at bedtime on Cbeebies, especially with the 'night night', which was in fact name-dropped in The Legend of Ruby Sunday. It also feeds into the unreality/TV theory a lot of people are running with. Mrs Flood's final moments also felt rather Mary Poppins, with the umbrella and the suitcase. The latter perhaps suggests she's no longer going to be Ruby's neighbour, maybe because Ruby is no longer actively travelling with the Doctor (for now).

Speaking of Ruby, this was far more of a farewell than I expected! We know she's going to appear next series, but I wonder how much. Will she jump back in as a main companion pretty quickly? Will she be in a handful of episodes series 4 Martha style? Will she only appear once? I can't remember if much has been spotted of series 2 filming, so I guess we'll find out. One possibility is that she's dragged back into the storyline due to proximity to Mrs Flood, but as I mentioned above, I suspect Mrs Flood is moving out. Does Cherry remember the strange things she said, I wonder?

I don't know where else to put this, but we also got more 73 Yards stuff. My favourite of those was the confirmation that the Doctor stopped Roger ap Gwilliam in the original (and current) timeline, because it solves one of my lingering problems with the episode. Even though I like the episode enough to ignore its issues, I'm still glad to get that resolved. It just makes it a lot neater. It's interesting that the focus this time was on his DNA testing rather than the nukes. I don't mind that, but I think it would have made the reveal of how they can find Ruby's mother more satisfying if that had been seeded into 73 Yards itself. I just checked the transcript, though, and it doesn't look like it was mentioned at all. We also get the TARDIS field being 73 Yards and the Doctor saying that you can see things at 73 Yards, but there's no further exploration of that. I'd be happy to just leave it at that, but that combined with the CCTV footage of the church being 73 yards has me wondering if more will come of it.

So, that's all I have to say for now. It's a somewhat underwhelming finale after all the hype, but then this is also the first RTD finale I've ever experienced fresh as an adult. I knew going in to this era that I probably wouldn't be quite as forgiving of its flaws as 9-13 year-old me was the first time round. Still, I've overall really been enjoying this new era. I wish we'd had more episodes this series, but that can't be helped. At least there won't be such long gaps between series as there have been!

I don't like hating on the Chibnall era too much, especially given all the unwarranted flack it got, but Flux broke me somewhat and even before that there was something a little meh about it for me, so this has been re-invigorating. It should be clear from this review that I don't think RTD is perfect, but I also can't deny the fact that I'm excited about the show again in a way that I haven't been for years and it's been so wonderful and exciting. This finale was messy and ridiculous in a number of ways, but that's kind of the nature of the show and I'm still very excited for what comes next.

Misc:

I really liked the idea of memory dying because the things that created those memories have died.

Likewise, I love that the memory TARDIS was indeed explained and relevant.

Morris literally having guns in his mobility scooter? I know Shirley did in her wheelchair, but who let the thirteen year-old have deadly weapons? And he's shooting them behind other UNIT officers who are higher up than he is. He might be more dangerous than Sutekh.

Kate got to have a little hand hold with Ibrahim, which sure okay. I don't really care about them apparently having a thing and it feels a little odd to just shove it in there, but I suppose it's kind of sweet.

Still no Susan (Foreman), though I enjoyed seeing her in old footage. In fact, I liked all the old footage used. I thought it was funny that the Doctor didn't ever explicitly say that the man with the curly hair was in fact him.

I loved the Doctor calling Sutekh Sutes at one point. That was so extremely Fifteenth Doctor.

Sutekh's been attached to the TARDIS since the 1980s, so like throughout the Time War and everything? When House took it over? That's such an insane lore bomb to drop.

Also, as I keep bringing up, what about Fourteen's TARDIS? Did Sutekh just stick to Fifteen's TARDIS at the diverging point? Is part of him still attached to Fourteen's?

[being-of-rain]

In the days before The Legend of Ruby Sunday, I thought to myself 'RTD did a lot of big bombastic series finales in his day, and always with Classic Who villains. But that was fifteen years ago. Maybe he's mellowed.' Dear readers, he had not.

Here's my thoughts on the episode! But fair warning, they're mostly that it was just okay. I mean it was fine. It was a fun, mindless bit of build-up and spectacle. Of course it was very much a Part One, so a lot of my thoughts are just 'I wonder where this will go next episode.'

Firstly, I don't think I'm a massive fan of RTD's method of story arcs, which is to sprinkle references to something throughout a season that'll be part of the final story without much elaboration. It feels less like a story, and more like a drawn-out teaser for the finale. And continuing a trend that started in RTD's last full season that I'm not crazy about, there was so many arcs and plot hooks too. Before the episode my brother and I listed as many we could think of, and it actually addressed almost all of them, plus one or two we forgot about or thought wouldn't come back. It started to feel like the characters were ticking off a shopping list of questions. And I know that these things basically just exist for fans to speculate about. And I can't pretend I didn't have fun joking and memeing about all the arc elements with other fans. But as someone who both isn't really that interested in genuinely theorising about how a series is going to end (odd for a Dr Who fan, I know) and who really likes story/character arcs that develop over time, I guess I'm just not the target audience. This season the arcs have pricked my curiosity, but not much more than that - except make me wish they did more with the supernatural elements than a few badly-conceived gods and the cool fairy circle episode.

Anyway, Sutekh! In the last few years the TV show has done the Morbius Doctors, Beep the Meep, the Toymaker, the Shalka Doctor... I really shouldn't be surprised by anything anymore, but I still sit in bemused shock when a finale revolves around Susan and Sutekh. And that is pretty fun. We had basically nothing of Sutekh this episode, so I'm very interested what the next episode will do with him.

I'm especially curious how much it'll dip into the Egyptian mythology aspect. Because on one hand, Pyramids of Mars is sorta built on the problematic and awkward trope that aliens at least inspired Egyptian culture. On the other hand, I think the Egypt link & aesthetic is a big part of Sutekh's identity as a villain/monster. I remember being bored when Big Finish tried to divorce him from it in their latest audio with him (but tbh I trust RTD to at least do a more entertaining story than that, even if he's boiling Sutekh down into simply a God of Death). Similarly, I think a really big part of why Sutekh made a big impact on the original Dr Who fandom is how he was a genuine overwhelming threat to the Doctor, something that probably won't be as big of a shock today. But the final part of Sutekh's identity is Gabriel Woolf, and he's absolutely as entertaining as ever.

As for Susan, after all that drama it'd almost be stranger if she didn't appear in some form in the finale. I'm wondering if Mrs Flood is Susan, something that's really weird to say seriously after thinking people were wrong about her being an important character for 6 months. At the very least I really hope they give Carole Ann Ford some kind of cameo, because it'd be such a missed opportunity if the very first companion actress was still alive and they didn't do anything with her.

What else? Mel continues to be lovely, and I continue to wonder if there's any reason it was her in particular who was brought back or if it was just to have a classic Who companion hanging around. Rose continues to be precious, and her instant bonding with Ruby is just adorable. I missed Ruth Madeley's Shirley, I assume it was filming conflicts that led to her being replaced by a preteen? When Harriet was introduced I distinctly remember thinking 'oh she's cute, I hope she sticks around.' And the Vlinx continues to have 1-2 lines and no explanation.

The VHS-powered time window was an extremely cool concept, but I feel like it didn't look as good and distinct as it could have. I'm not totally certain what I'd have done different but I still felt underwhelmed. And I'll say something I've said a lot, but I wish there was at least some vague rules to things like the time window. I don't care about scientific accuracy or real life logic, only narrative logic; if anything can happen with only a bit of poetry to justify it, the stakes and losses and victories aren't nearly as satisfying.

And this might make me sound like someone who looks for anything to complain about, but I feel there's something off about how UNIT is depicted recently. Like it's being glorified and simplified as 'the good guys' maybe more than it has any time before in the TV show's history. And it feels especially awkward when some of the UNIT characters are armed and armoured soldiers. I'm just very not in the mood to heroise someone who I might see committing war crimes on the news, you know. So I'm not really a fan of this version of UNIT and how it's consuming so many past companions.

Anyway!

Mystery Woman 1 (Susan): Sutekh. Mystery Woman 2 (Mrs Flood): Susan? Mystery Woman 3 (Ruby's mum): At this point I have to assume it's the Rani or Iris Wildthyme or Gillian Who or something.

[verdemoun]

there will be a detailed post about dutch van der linde in timewarp in the next 24 hours watch this space but before then The Ex's of Dutch Van Der Linde is an absolute posse

the main trio is annabelle, susan grimshaw and molly o'shea. molly catches up with the girlies more than any other members of VDLs. side tangent i know in my soul grimshaw and molly made up like grimshaw thought she was protecting the gang. molly would be hurt grimshaw actually believed she talked. she was just saying it to get a rise out of dutch. grimshaw would recognize the effect dutch has on the people that love him and be very apologetic for being blinded by the idea of molly talking and putting the gang at risk, and not doing more to help her as she mentally declined in 1899. they made up they're friends shut up let me dream

the first time molly went over for a formal exes of dutch meeting kieran was also there and the sheer panic poor molly felt please please do not tell me dutch slept with the o'driscoll!! he cheated on me with the o'driscoll!!!?! (she doesn't love dutch but she damn well will have another reason to hate him if she's adding cheating to the list)

he didn't!! he was hanging out with annabelle before the meeting. 1. she lowkey forgot he was there because he's so quiet 2. she's holding him hostage in an effort to get hosea to come. they all damned well know 3. it's a surprise tool that'll help us later

it starts off as just a nice wine dinner talking about girlie things bitching about work, modern era life but by the second bottle of wine someone has to break the ice 'remember how fucking annoying it was when dutch put on the gramophone' 'jesus christ yes i still fucking twitch hearing opera' and then it is all out war they are holding the roast of dutch van der linde

it is very stereotypical like they're making fun of how he preens like the pits of fashion they're saying he was bad in bed and things he did that gave them universal ick they're making fun of mangy tobacco pipe breath when he kissed them and all the red flags in hindsight like the gaslighting and the whole time they are still pouring more wine and smoking and getting more and more animated

finally, with the biggest shit-eating grin on her face, annabelle goes up to kieran who's just been sitting there playing on his tablet having a few drinks and zaza and casually asks 'hey kipper what do you think of dutch'

and fellas let me tell you when he's drunk enough to be chatty kieran duffy has Opinions. he will talk so much shit and the girls are just sprawled on the couch drinking wine listening to kieran duffy pace around calling out shit like 'why is dutch such a creep around women has he ever dated a woman older than 25 also what the Hell is his deal with pretending he's a moral superiority 'dutch is a teacher uwu' fucking horseshit half the gang was only so devoted to him because they didn't know anything else and he deliberately picks out people he can mold people to follow his ideals at least colm had the decency not to pretend he cared about people i wanna punch his god damn face so BAD and his moustache is stupid'

the girls are just sitting there snapping their fingers go off kieran he was there for entertainment value the whole time. annabelle just adores him if she could steal one of bessie's boys it would be kieran they have such a special bond as fellow victims of o'driscoll torture. she is his timewarp mom

they put on REAL music out of spite and by real music i mean they are drunk dancing and shout-singing along to 'vampire'. by the time hosea gets there the energy is just so contagious he does join in the 'fuck our ex dutch van der linde' party while bessie is stealing the leftovers. kieran has somehow managed to fall asleep on the couch and bessie quietly sits beside him and has herself a sneaky glass of whisky while the girls + her husband have moved from alternative pop 'i hate my ex' to country 'i'm going to fucking murder my ex'

[review-of-all-who]

Boom

Everyone was shitting on this title so much and then Moffat gave us an absolute banger. This episode is incredible. Ncuti had to stand in one place for a full fucking episode and still gave us some of the best acting I've ever seen. The pathos of it is excellent. And god the themes and commentary.

Moffat is commenting on so much here and it deeply helps that he's a grumpy old man in the exact same ways I am. The episode really is a my philosophy speed run. He really just said.

"the church is an organisation created to justify atrocities, war is perpetuated by capitalism because humans matter less than money, medicine run like a business devalues human life and costs lives, faith is a powerful tool that when wielded unwisely can be used to justify horrific acts because it needs no proof but can be a useful tool in providing comfort when faced with life's biggest questions, fundamentally after death all that matters is the impact you make on others, Susan should be talked about in terms of her affect on the doctor more, the cooperate sheen of pleasantries as it commits horrific acts is deeply dehumanising and frustrating, thoughts and prays mean nothing and are annoying as hell, algorithms should never be in charge of decisions that require an ethical system and compassion"

Just incredible that he manages to put all that in 45 minutes so succinctly. I am very much forgiving him for his show runner crimes because this was such a god damn banger.

Also I'm really interested to see where Mundy goes considering she might well become the next companion. The doctor did say he was coming back so it would be super cool if we actually get a companion from the future again. Her being an Anglican marine and thus having some tension with the doctor would be fascinating to explore. Bonus points is Mundy Sunday becomes real. I'd adore that.

My hopes aren't too high, doctor who does avoid future companions nowadays but if we are keeping Ruby on board then maayyyybe it's won't just be a future version of her.

Also if you want my predictions, Ruby or the doctor are related to the toymaker. Mrs Flood is Susan (she's been brought up way too much not to be in the show). That's my theory. We'll see if I'm right

[thethirdromana]

In honour of Doctor Who's 60th birthday, here are 60* things that I like about less popular** Doctor Who stories.

(*in multiple posts because I'm falling foul of the character limit)

(**IMDB rating of less than 7/10)

1. Susan is great in The Sensorites. She's at her absolute best in stories like this where she gets to be genuinely a bit alien and a bit weird.

2. "So," said someone at the BBC, "we're going to produce an allegory for different political systems, using insects. Choreographed by a mime artist. On a budget of about £2.50." The Web Planet might not entirely have succeeded, but my god, you have to love that they tried.

3. They introduced Jamie, the best companion, in The Highlanders! How is does this have less than a 7/10 rating, what is wrong with you people. It's Jamie.

4. I applaud the utter bonkersness of The Underwater Menace, and Patrick Troughton really gives it socks.

5. The Wheel in Space is proper 60s sci-fi: Servo-Robots, x-ray lasers, radio beams! I can practically smell Penguin mass-market paperbacks thinking about it. And with the introduction of Zoe, it completes my all-time favourite TARDIS team.

6. The Dominators contains the Quarks, who are adorable. They weren't supposed to be, but it doesn't matter.

7. Zoe is still relatively new to the TARDIS, but she has heaps to do in The Krotons. Nice having a female companion who's written as smart and capable.

8. We have entered the 70s, so with Colony in Space, we get Social Issues. Especially an Evil Mining Corporation, which are always fun.

9. More Social Issues in The Mutants, but this time they're paired with big sci-fi ideas. Ancient tablets! Strange life cycles! Love how much is going on here.

10. The Time Monster is like the Eurovision of Doctor Who. Deeply silly, but what would Doctor Who be without silliness? I'm sorry about Jo's coccyx too.

11. I love that they returned to Peladon in The Monster of Peladon, especially with the 50-year time jump. I'd like to see that kind of follow-up more often.

12. Is it not cool to love K9 any more? Well, I like my Doctor Who with a dose of silliness, and The Invisible Enemy delivered that. Every time traveller needs a robot dog.

13. The design of the Seers in Underworld is excellent, I love a brass dome.

14. Doctor Who doesn't have enough giant squidmonsters looming on the horizons. I'm glad the The Power of Kroll does something to address the deficit.

15. The Creature from the Pit gave us the line "a teaspoon and an open mind", and I appreciate it for that at least.

16. Romana wears one of her best of many splendid outfits in The Horns of Nimon.

17. I liked all the arch dialogue between the Doctor, Enlightenment and Persuasion in Four to Doomsday.

18. Heathrow airport is an underrated setting. I also appreciate how Time-Flight prominently features Concorde, making it far more 80s than they could ever have planned.

19. I don't intend this to be damning with faint praise (even though it probably sounds like it) but my favourite thing about Arc of Infinity is that we get a little jaunt through 80s Amsterdam. I do love a tram.

20. Babyfaced Martin Clunes doing his spoiled princeling thing in Snakedance is enjoyably disconcerting.

21. Terminus is tense and scary and bleak. Another one that I'd expected to be more highly rated.

22. Warriors of the Deep gives us a very solid base under siege. Silurians + Cold War is a winning combination.

23. Landing in a modern village doing a historical re-enactment in The Awakening is a witty touch.

24. I can’t say I enjoyed the idea of the Doctor’s violent moods in The Twin Dilemma, but I have to commend it as a punchy way to introduce the new regeneration.

25. The Mark of the Rani should surely get some love just for introducing the Rani: camp, delightful, iconic.

26. Herbert turning out to be HG Wells in Timelash is a lovely twist and handled well.

27. The Trial of a Time Lord is so grand and ambitious. If the show hadn't been struggling in general at this point, it would be among the all-time greats.

28. With its colour-coded gangs and faux-urban slang, Paradise Towers is gloriously of its time in a way that currently feels quite naff, but that I suspect will be fascinating to revisit in about 30 years.  

29. Delta and the Bannermen is action-packed and has one of the best titles in 80s Who.

30. Possibly the most terrifying moment in all of Doctor Who is Kane's face melting in Dragonfire. This series is nothing if it doesn't send children running for safety behind the sofa.

31. Got to love it when Who gets aggressively anti-Thatcher, and they never did it more than in The Happiness Patrol.

[funtimespringscare101]

Just finished watching The Walten Files 4: Cyberfun Tech and...

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?

Oh My FUCKING GOD Susan's death was so much more brutal than I originally thought from Bunnyfarm's showing of it. The way her limbs stop as "Bon" snaps her fucking neck... Jesus.

Speaking of movement, ACTUAL ANIMATED CHARACTERS?! Fucking Stunning. *mhaw* Chef Kisss!

Seeing Jack fucking ready to kick Felix's ass breaks my heart even more for him, hell, he has been missing in the future/last episodes and whether he's dead or alive, i'm still speculating. Also WOOHOO SMILEY TUMBLR SEXY MAN RETURNS!

The imagery of Felix in his unburied grave with Rocket (which I presume is already possessed by Edd and Molly) and later his attempt to FUCKING JUMP OFF THE CLIFF is so Disturbing! Also his tape and dialogue after is so sad man!

Edd and Molly... Ahh Molly... Our new Red kid Guardian... You adorable babies.

FUCK "BON"! HIM AND HIS WHITE BALD-HEADED ASS!

The Voice acting in this episode was incredible. Great Job to every VA who worked on this!

”Bon” gifting Susan the Banny mask reminds me of Vanny and Glitchtrap in a way.I