#my gi is flaring and im

[greenieflor]

God bless hyosciamine

[drustvar]

May I be vulnerable. For a moment. Will you guys promise not to laugh at me

[catbuspass]

Aw are you sick?

Ya

[orcelito]

Whines bc im a few hours into my sleep and I'm not so nauseous now but my limbs...! My limbs, they ache...!!! And it's just all of them, the bone aches in all of them, so I feel like Peter Griffin Death Pose in this bed tonight

[mejomonster]

Goodbye 2023. Wrote 30,000 words of my Danny story, 20,000 words of my Freyna story, 25,000 words of my Khan story, 13,000 words of my Celest story, 48,000 words of fanfiction, and including notes and scraps I wrote 211,007 words in 2023! >o<)/ a lot of fucking words!!!

(Also future me, now you can find this next year to find out how much more u wrote)

I did not hit last years goal of finishing one of my original stories. But on the bright side, I did write over one novel's Worth of words. So here's to hoping this new year I focus more on One story at a time so I can start finishing things. I'll count this as a kind of win. (I'd still like to finish at least one of my original stories before January ends just so I can say I've finally finished one asap lol)

In other news. This past year, sunday, I had italian bread with butter. I had lemon cake this year. I had pizza, the last two days in a row. I have had a waffle almost every day of the week. I still have to take benedryl if I overdo it, or more gi medicine if I really screw up. But this time last year I couldn't touch bread, pasta, waffles, any wheat. This time last year I was dreaming and hoping miserably I'd get to have toast and pizza again. That I'd be able to risk any dairy. Any wheat. My only severe allergy left now is potato. I'm still a ways away from being able to stop needing my gi meds to eat. But rhe fact I simply CAN eat, most days, relaibly without worrying I won't be able to the next day? Awesome. I had a bad flare in August and was on a liquid diet and feared I'd never eat yummy food again. And all of 2022 was awful mush. I'm so so grateful I can eat a waffle, and will probably still be able to eat the next day. I'm going to sincerely hope now this is the year I'll be able to transition off of needing gi meds.

[big-tees-and-short-skirts]

healthcare bullshit cw

HEY. LOCAL HOSPITAL. WHY DUD I HAVE TO FUCKING CALL TO FIND OUT WHICH PROCEDURE IM GETTING TOMORROW MORNING?!?!? NO INSTRUCTIONS SENT, JUST, "dont eat or drink for 4 hrs pls," AND NOTHING ELSE?!???

heres a baby snapper to apologize for the caps spam <3 thats about to follow

[bunnyboy-juice]

i am so icky sicky sad

[bisexual-yuri]

95% of the time I am okay with my disability and can deal with the way it affects my life. 5% of the time though.... there is the Grief

[champagnesupernoel]

Chronic health issues are so overwhelming. I've been tracking my symptoms lately. And I make lists of which doctor to call and I keep a religious kept up calendar for appointments and shit. But I still struggle staying afloat. It's so overwhelming. I miss work. I lose out on pay because of it. My work is very understanding and I am immensely grateful because any other place would fire me. My GI issues are proving hard to treat because I have a mix of symptoms that all affect my functionality. And then some symptoms being more common or having flare ups. It's a lot.

Its just a lot to keep up with. But i never get a break because its me I'm dealing with. I just feel like im in a Neverending uphill battle with myself. Shit sucks. Id like a break sometimes my off days don't feel like off days because I'm still physically and mentally exhausted.

[chronic-creation]

I am so close to losing my entire sanity

I have a final research essay to write, final art projects to assemble, and child development test to study for, im behind on my work, im having a flare up of ALL my symptoms including back pain, POTS, GI issues, and anxiety, and my roommate and partner both want time with me but i dont have time to give. I want to spend time with my partner but they also keep wanting to talk about stressful subjects and feelings and deep stuff that i dont have the spoons for. And then my roommate/best friend keeps wanting to hang out and smoke and watch our fave shows while also reminding me every five minutes about all the chores that we have yet to complete, and my dog is sick. She has chronic utis and ear infections and she has another ear infection and its bothering her so im doing the naturopath methods my vet recommended since she doesnt respond well to antibiotics but shes really not feeling well and shes my retired service dog so if shes not feeling well i lose my absolute goddamn mind and my best friend isnt helping because she has PTSD around dog illness and death and so do I so her constant anxiety about meatball is making me super fucking anxious and i cant fucking handle it on too of the new diagnosis stuff, the new meds, the school, the nightmares. Everythings just too fucking stressful i cant handle it anymore.

I’m suicidal from stress. Not to the point of doing anything because i know better but jesus christ i want out of this stressful life immediately.

Can i have a new body that isnt disabled? Can i have a bed that isnt fucked up and making my back pain worse? Can i have friends who understand my time constraints and physical and mental limitations around time and the abilities that i have????

People wanna say theyre understanding of disabilities until shit gets real hard and stressful and then theyre mad you dont put them and their needs before your health smh

[everlastingremorse-blog]

We are officially in spoiler zone. From this point, spoilers for In Sound Mind.

So, before we get into the good (and it is really good), I want to get into the bad. Now, this criticism is coming from a place of love. This game was amazing! It’s just in my instinct that when I love something I want to rip it to shreds so I can look at all the little parts.

Now, before we begin, I want to say I played this game on the hardest mode except for a little bit at the ending. It’s possible that some of the problems I faced could have not been an issue in an easier game mode. That being said, I don’t think Harder should mean more frustrating. And I know that’s absolutely easier said than done, but still. I wanted something that was more of a challenge, not something that was more of a headache. How to do that, Im not entirely sure, but still.

Let’s start with Alan Shore. He’s the second patient you investigate, but his tape wasn’t as good as it could have been.

Unlike the other characters, when he’s chasing you, he auto locks onto you. Unlike the other bosses, you cannot stealth away from him. He knows where you are and will try to get to you, and you just wait in a light for him to leave. I think this is to add some variety to the game play, because like I said, he’s the only character that works like that.

Unfortunately, it’s not fun. It’s really annoying and tedious and kinda just annoying to deal with. You can get him off of you by either shining your light on him (and getting hurt no matter what) or shoot him with a gun or flare gun (and waste ammo). The thing is that I didn’t want to hurt Allen, but it just makes sense to hurt him from a gameplay perspective.

This is called Ludonarrative dissonance, where there is a clear divide between how the game is played and the narrative of the game. (Think yu-gi-oh/shadowverse. You’re trying to save the world by playing a card game. Maybe just punch each other. It’s different in shadowverse, but that’s not what this post is about.)

Anyways, there’s a lot of ludonarrative dissonance in Allen Shore’s chapter. He is very socially awkward person who tends to isolate himself… so why is he the one that’s always attacking you? Like his whole thing is that he feels like he’s stuck in the bottom of a pit. That he’s isolating himself, so why is he attacking me?

And there’s absolutely something there! Sometimes a mental illness makes you destructive to the people around you. I don’t think he wants to hurt you, but he’s doing it accidentally (kinda). There’s something there, I just don’t necessarily agree with how it’s done.

Furthermore, you get a flare gun in his chapter. This let’s you burn up darkness, an obstacle you can’t deal with before. It also gets Allen to leave you alone… and that’s it. The flare gun isn’t a useful weapon against anyone else and can only be used to get weird trick shots on explode barrels. Sometimes later in the game, they’ll just have random pools of darkness that kinda give justification for the flare gun, but they could just remove those and the game wouldn’t necessarily change.

And this is really annoying because you literally face a “bull” in the next level. You know what would have been great, if the bull chased the red flare. I think I read somewhere that you can use it to stun him, but I would vastly prefer if he saw the flare and chased after it. This would give more use to the item, and add a new layer to your inventory management. You can only carry five flares at a time, so do you lose a flare, or do you try to outrun it? I would have preferred that option, especially because you get an automatic stun later in that level!

The next enemy could have also been stunned this way. When I hit him with it, he just shrugged it off basically immediately. It would make sense that causing a ton of light would cause a lens flare that helps you escape, but no, he just shrugs it off.

Now one part that also annoyed me was with the bull I mentioned before. There’s this one part where he has to charge you, and you quickly run out of the way so that he breaks through the wall. This would have been fun to use the flare gun, but I digress. No my problem with this section is that it’s impossible to do without getting hurt, which is very frustrating. It’s ESPECIALLY frustrating when the bull stops in front of you to do a different attack from the charge. Which he does A TON. It was super frustrating.

The next enemy, “The Flash,” just sticks onto you way too hard. Like if he’s on you, it’s basically impossible to get away from him. That’s hyperbole, but it is really really annoying to deal with.

Those were the major things (excluding what I’m about to get to). There were some minor things like sometimes aiming/parkour is hard to do on switch, but I blame the switch more than I do the game.

But none of those were awful. Like, even though Allen was annoying, he wasn’t game breaking. The flare gun not used, annoying, but like, so what. No, the one thing that I think was absolutely wrong was the final boss fight. It was absolutely garbage. And it’s so sad because it didn’t even ruin the game. I still fucking love it, but I don’t EVER want to play that ending again. I kinda have an urge to play the other parts, but that ending? Absolutely not.

The ending constantly has barrels that explode coming for you. It’s not too bad except that they all basically one shot you no matter what difficulty you’re on. Literally, sometimes they’ll take you down 5 health, other times they’ll take 70 health. And I switched to easy because I though “oh, it’s because I’m on hard.” No, it’s fucking office. And it’s not TOO hard to dodge… except when you’re dealing with all the little enemies chasing after you. Which is basically always. And further on the fight, you have to let them hit you, so you basically have the same problem as the bull from before. This was absolutely intentional, but god damn you could have done it better.

Also, I’m the second to final section, the boss will have these huge aoe attacks that are impossible to dodge and aren’t telegraphed well. Like, it’ll make the ground turn read before it happens, but it’s not for a lot of time, and sometimes you have absolutely NO CHANCE to dodge it. And those hits are sometimes 1 hit KOs. Which is fucking awful and I hated it.

You beat the boss by using the previous tapes/levels to defeat it, because you’ve been able to learn from your patients, and that’s made you stronger. It has multiple sections, each reminiscent of a previous tape.

Except it didn’t do a good job of thematically tying itself into those tapes. You just use them when you get from point A to B because that’s what the fight tells you to do. You got a specific item in every tape/level of the game, but the only time you need to use them is for the last tape and at least ONCE for the flare gun.

The first item you get is a mirror that reveals the truth and can be used to cut tape… and in the first section of the final boss, you use it to cut tape. I would have absolutely preferred to use it in a cool way for something, using the mirror to find the truth. Maybe there were a bunch of tape recorders, and Virginia is pointing out the real one. That would have been cool, but didn’t happen.

The flare gun was only used to get rid of darkness in front of the tape (and maybe a few darknesses before). Imagine instead if you used the flare gun to call for help, like a flare gun usually does, and then boom, Allen Shore shows up and you can use the second tape recorder.

The third faze is the one reminiscent of the bull where you have to let the exploding stuff flying at you hit them. It would have been amazing if you had to use the lure pills (the item you get during the third tape) to get past the doors, but no, nothing cool like that.

And it’s not like the entire tape was bad, it had some AMAZING moments. Between the first and second phase, you can high five a mannequin that helped you along the way. I missed it the first time, so I went back and redid it. AND IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL M. I LITERALLY WAS INSTANTLY REENERGIZED TO KEEP GOING. But that’s the ONLY time they did it. They could have done something like that between each phase, but once again no. Between the second and third phase maybe a whale helps you get between them (it makes sense if you’ve played it.) I can’t think of something for the third and fourth phase (maybe a car taking out a bunch of enemies for you), but in between the fourth and final phase, Rosemary can come and help you. There was room to make the boss fight much more enjoyable, but it’s just kinda sad that it wasn’t.

But your character beats Agent Rainbow with a cool one liner and I literally jumped up in joy it was so fucking cool I literally said “Fuck yeah,” the ending of the story was amazing, the final gameplay was not.

So now that we got the bad out of the way, let’s get to the good.

OH! Also Allen gets associated with Icarus for some reason. It doesn’t make sense in any way and it just weird. But now onto the good stuff really.

Edit: one last thing I wanted to add (seriously this time) is something I said in the good post. The game ends with Agent rainbow coming back and basically telling you he’s still out there in the hearts of other. I think it would make sense if he survived in Desmond as a representation that overcoming trauma is a process that continues even after you think you finished.

Ok, so, In Sound Mind is an amazing game and you should definitely play it if you think you’d like it. So I’m gonna be posting a lot about it because I finished it and it’s super good.

So let’s start with what it is.

It’s a psychological survival horror indie game with a soundtrack by The Living Tombstone (‘you should’ve picked Mercy’ guy). If you’ve played any persona game, then it’s like if that was survival horror. It has some really cool ‘monster designs,’ that are like symbolic and stuff.

Anyways, you play Desmond Wales, a therapist who wakes up in the basement of your building. As you start to explore, you realize that the world isn’t quite what it seems, and you begin investigating the situations of your patients (one died, one is in a coma, and two are missing). While they at first seem unrelated, a large narrative and conspiracy starts to unravel.

Quick note, Tlt didn’t do the sound design, he just made 6 incredible songs for the game.

It’s made by this small indie company called We Create Stuff. It seems to be their first foray into an original IP that is a full game with a narrative and stuff. They have other games, but they’re not necessarily “games.” That mean. If you check out their website, you’ll see what I mean. They have other games, but In Sound Mind is their first game game.

Anyways, I’ll get more in depth in later posts, but we’ll end here rn because no spoilers.

[zorkaya-moved]

what if this is zarina’s outfit when the traveler first meets her in sumeru?  it’s her returning back from liyue or somewhere else, so she didn’t wear anything of the akademiya clothing. instead, something she preferred herself.  as in, her attending a meeting with the sages (that were left) after coming back. the white as the symbolic trickery but also because wearing black in sumeru’s climate will end her. also having been called back by naphis to update her on the situation and once again offering to her to take over as a sage of amurta, but... yet once again, she refuses.  

[catboyfurina]

It is gensh1nposting

:readmore:

Hope that works uhmmmm HEE HEE

So I'm in the rana quest because I love her and exploring and stufffff also . Mihoyo let Rana become playable ? Please please please ur nothing?

(I love her ridiculous half hoodie girl why is only one side warm. I also love that she has a big hammer)(the npcs have pretty strong characters even if they still arent allowed luxuries like moving mouth)(also. I could fix her (minmax her stats and be really stubborn about keeping her on the team))

I GOT sidetracked POINT IS

we are talking about the children avoiding questioning and she mentions that the dendro archon is connected to the forest people SO

I think she was a forest people like how venti was a wind spirit

(I'm connecting the doooooots)

I wanted 2 post this so I could have surety of my bragging rights when this is confirmed later. Because it will be because I'm Right

[memories-are-all-we-have]

Fellow Crohn's sufferers: are flare ups more common early on? I had a flare in November (about 3 months after starting meds) and I'm p sure I'm having one now. Is this normal/expected or am I doing something wrong? I'm fairly certain the medication is working (overall, I've seen significant improvement and have felt so, so much better), but it feels like I've flared so much already (ik this is only 2, but it seems so close together). I'm just kind of scared.

[briarpatch-kids]

I’m 2000% sure dissociated sick blogging during multi illness flare ups are the cripplepunk version of a bender

[mejomonster]

My gastroparesis driving me up a wall. And by that i mean ive been barely eating for over a week now and my symptoms still arent improving and im really not havin a great time im exhausted my bodys in pain trying to get me to Rest but i gotta work full time and my abdomen absolutely hurts but painkillers slow digestion even More so ive been laying down on heatpad as much as possible and i really dont wanna go back to an All Liquid diet (but even if i did im at the nausea and vomiting point of a gastroparesis flare which means even liquid only im likely to throw up either way) and like. I just wanna comfort eat bread cause i feel miserable exhausted in pain and it would be a small joy. But bread is absolutely not something i can eat during a flare. I can only eat it when doing good if i take benedryl. Im so angry and tired and id like to sleep for days. And i gotta still Make myself eat chips and protein shakes even tho i got nausea cause my gi meds dont work unless i eat Something. Even if i got nausea and tons of pain wooh

Anyway im getting flack from family for being so tired the last week and i love em and all but its awful feeling guilty for not calling Enough when its like goddamn eating (something humans gotta do at least once a day) hurts phenomenally and i barely can but i obviously desire to like any human then i eat and Ouch my body didnt fucking like that and punished me for it and im so mad. I feel awful and yeah im mad i dont got energy to hide how much pain im in and chat false enthusiastically for 20 minutes after already doing it all thru work. I had 1 teaspoon of peanut butter today and my remaining options are soup broth (but it had beans cooked in it and my body cant take fiber today so idk if its worth the risk of any accidental beans) and salad (which is of course raw vegetables fiber very hard on stomach rn so i can probably just eat a handful size portion and hopefully ill chew enough its mush and my body will tolerate it). And a protein shake (but its got fiber and is made of chickpeas i think for the protein so idk if my body is tolerating it or not im just drinking it so i dont have no calories). I had chips yesterday but i think my body considered it too solid or large to digest idk cause im eveb worse today. I also had toast yesterday cause i was so angry and hungry and wanted comfort food. So of course that messed me up. Which means i should take more benedryl. But then i wont just be hungry and pain tired, ill also be drug tired. And im so sick of being miserablr all day at work just to pass out the second its over cause allergy meds knocked me out then ive lost all day. But without allergy meds i can eat hardly anything i like. I mean i cant eat rn but like. Right before this fuckjng flare and hopefully once its over. Im just sick of it. Im tired and when i go to therapy next week shell probs ask oh what do you do to stress relief and its like... i get it but are u fucking kidding me. Im knocked unconcious from benedryl. And tired anyway cayse no food, and pain nonstop from gi tract. So im barely doing anything. I cant really get outta bed cause i need the 4 sq feet heatpad or ill be in agony over my abdomen. Dont have tv in room so i can use phone i guess. So tired i can barely keep eyes open or think so im not writing reading or watching shows on phone. I can idk listen to a reaction or lets play since if i fall asleep and wake up i dont need to follow a plot. But like im not in a state to be going for a fucking walk (i wish! I wanna dance and walk but my abdomen and back feel awful and im so tired im dizzy when i stand) or hang out w friend, which im sure idk shed prefer to hear some productive ass activity like god im just trying to keep myself employed and out of the ER until the flare rights itself. Please

And i know jts not that bad. Ive been worse. I couldnt eat solid food for 6 months once. I was in the ER weekly it was so bad i blocked most of it outta memory. This is only a couple weeks. And i havent thrown up much! I was throwing up 5 times daily back then. And i have had chips and peanut butter! I recognizr thats nice, i got some solid food and held it down! I know my gastroparesis is EONS LESS severe than it was when it started.

Its just like. It still sucks barely eating for weeks and any eating hurting immensely and nonstop nausea for days and pain not lowering. Like a normal healthy person might snap from anger if they try to go 20 hours without eating, or crash and need to eat to keep going, or just be run down as fuck and justifiable if they barely do anything that day. But i go days like that and im expected to just appear fine and live life normally like im not worn down af and just desperate to not feel nausea and pain and i just really wanna eat again. Normally.