#my gi is flaring and im
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God bless hyosciamine
#lav rambles#little angel of a pill#my gi is flaring and im#nervy#that its gonna persist#i think i know whats causing it tho
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Aw are you sick?
Ya
#bus stop#i have gi issues and my medicine from after surgery sent me into a gastritis flare#its veey painful and im very sAd and sick
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Whines bc im a few hours into my sleep and I'm not so nauseous now but my limbs...! My limbs, they ache...!!! And it's just all of them, the bone aches in all of them, so I feel like Peter Griffin Death Pose in this bed tonight
#speculation nation#sometimes the chronic pain decides Fuck You especially#i always have some measure of pain but sometimes it decides to flare in Multiple limbs. and it's never fun.#just laying here with pain radiating out of my limbs in a slow steady pulse#*why* dont i have a fibromyalgia disgnosis yet...? bc my fuckin liver readings were off & im waiting for a february GI appointment...?#would my Fucking liver make my limbs all hurt for no goddamn reason in their Bones?????#like i know my doctor is just trying to do her due diligence and if i have a liver problem that can explain the fatigue.#but idk man it's way more than just fatigue. and it's the fact that i have to wait until *february* before the GI appointment#that really gets to me.#if it was sooner id care less. like yeah lets cover our bases yeah. but i have to wait five Fucking months before i even have the Chance#to get a fibromyalgia disgnosis (and hopefully Treatment after)#and in the meantime my limbs will continue to Ache and Ache and Ache...#ive. lived with it up to this point. i can continue to live with it. as yes. this is just the rest of my life.#but god damn itd fucking be nice if i could get some Help for it ykno?#they cant rly change the chronic pain aside from pain relievers. which i dont wanna be too dependent on anyways#but just. idfk theres gotta be Something. some kind of treatment!!! massages?!? i dont know!!!!#i just know my limbs hurt and i have to wait At Least 5 months for a diagnosis (& even then it's not assured)#and it's just. so frustrating. i really hate our healthcare industry.#negative/
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healthcare bullshit cw
HEY. LOCAL HOSPITAL. WHY DUD I HAVE TO FUCKING CALL TO FIND OUT WHICH PROCEDURE IM GETTING TOMORROW MORNING?!?!? NO INSTRUCTIONS SENT, JUST, "dont eat or drink for 4 hrs pls," AND NOTHING ELSE?!???
heres a baby snapper to apologize for the caps spam <3 thats about to follow
#upper GI means SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS#imaging means SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS#ESPECIALLY TO A LAYMAN#'so i called the imaging dept and they said ur doing a barium swallo--' WHY DIDNT U JUST SAY THAT INSTEAD OF 'UPPER GI. CHECK IN HOSPITAL'#im so fucking done w this place#guess ill be driving 2 hrs to the next hospital for now on cuz FUCK THIS SHIT#MY DAD IS TAKING TIME OFF WORK BC WE THOUGHT I WAS GETTING SEDATED FOR AN ENDOSCOPY (also called upper gi BTW 🙃)#im so tired of my dysmotility and my joint pain and my migraines yall. i wish i wasnt fucking allergic to THE ONLY MEDICINE that fix me#i had to take ANTIPSYCHOTIC TRANQS for 5 days that have flared up ALL OF MY PROBLEMS#bc my GI told me i cant take fucking steroids.#im probably gonna be fucking hospitalizwd fir this damn migraine and my GI cant fucking tell me if IM GONNA BE SEDATED OR NOT#OR WHAT PROCEDURE IM DOING TMRW#🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪#...#okay rants over 🤥<-lying#healthcare#cant believe im gonna say this but my healthcare was exponentially better in Georgia than in Illinois#i had better care in middle of nowhere georgia than FUCKING CHICAGO#i go a school famous for its medicine school....#now class imagine if this was happening to an old person living alone w a million health problems and no techsavvy#or strong self advocacy skills 🤗#wouldn't that just be fucked up 🤗
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i am so icky sicky sad
#personal#):#i have a tummy bug#i feel so gross and like im having a bad high#but i havent consumed any drogs today#it's just the sick ):#and it doesnt help that i also have GI problems separately so idrk if this is a stomach bug [tm] or a mild flare up#either way i feel like ass ):#my ears are ringing and im stupid nauseous
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95% of the time I am okay with my disability and can deal with the way it affects my life. 5% of the time though.... there is the Grief
#i lost three days to a flare up that I desperately needed to be used on literally anything other than lying in agony#and the fact that this is just a normal part of my life fucks me up bad#people around me do not seem to get it#i look ok most of the time so they assume im fine#the amount of pain im in on a regular basis would have an average person bedridden#meanwhile for me it takes straight agony to lay me up#and then nobody sees how bad I am bc im stuck lying on the floor or in the bath because my back is so agonizing#and then the GI issues#why cant I just be normal
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been feeling very on edge to the point of barely being able to think without ruminating lately and i Dint Know whether it’s the pregabalin, the sudden flare up of gi stuff, the stress of barely having any money or just. all of the above
#my gi symsons always flare up when i’m under stress im not able to work through but it also triggers a baseline of anxiety on its own#doubt it’s the pregabalin since i’ve been on it for like. 20 days already and i’ve been Like This for only about like. a week or so#but i’ve been known to be made anxious by medications that are supposed to lower anxiety so. it may also be#though it most likely is because of the dire need to afford to switch to the more expensive medication while being Quite Insecure about my a#ability to work toward that on my current one#once again i am wishing i had a shitty office job.
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We are officially in spoiler zone. From this point, spoilers for In Sound Mind.
So, before we get into the good (and it is really good), I want to get into the bad. Now, this criticism is coming from a place of love. This game was amazing! It’s just in my instinct that when I love something I want to rip it to shreds so I can look at all the little parts.
Now, before we begin, I want to say I played this game on the hardest mode except for a little bit at the ending. It’s possible that some of the problems I faced could have not been an issue in an easier game mode. That being said, I don’t think Harder should mean more frustrating. And I know that’s absolutely easier said than done, but still. I wanted something that was more of a challenge, not something that was more of a headache. How to do that, Im not entirely sure, but still.
Let’s start with Alan Shore. He’s the second patient you investigate, but his tape wasn’t as good as it could have been.
Unlike the other characters, when he’s chasing you, he auto locks onto you. Unlike the other bosses, you cannot stealth away from him. He knows where you are and will try to get to you, and you just wait in a light for him to leave. I think this is to add some variety to the game play, because like I said, he’s the only character that works like that.
Unfortunately, it’s not fun. It’s really annoying and tedious and kinda just annoying to deal with. You can get him off of you by either shining your light on him (and getting hurt no matter what) or shoot him with a gun or flare gun (and waste ammo). The thing is that I didn’t want to hurt Allen, but it just makes sense to hurt him from a gameplay perspective.
This is called Ludonarrative dissonance, where there is a clear divide between how the game is played and the narrative of the game. (Think yu-gi-oh/shadowverse. You’re trying to save the world by playing a card game. Maybe just punch each other. It’s different in shadowverse, but that’s not what this post is about.)
Anyways, there’s a lot of ludonarrative dissonance in Allen Shore’s chapter. He is very socially awkward person who tends to isolate himself… so why is he the one that’s always attacking you? Like his whole thing is that he feels like he’s stuck in the bottom of a pit. That he’s isolating himself, so why is he attacking me?
And there’s absolutely something there! Sometimes a mental illness makes you destructive to the people around you. I don’t think he wants to hurt you, but he’s doing it accidentally (kinda). There’s something there, I just don’t necessarily agree with how it’s done.
Furthermore, you get a flare gun in his chapter. This let’s you burn up darkness, an obstacle you can’t deal with before. It also gets Allen to leave you alone… and that’s it. The flare gun isn’t a useful weapon against anyone else and can only be used to get weird trick shots on explode barrels. Sometimes later in the game, they’ll just have random pools of darkness that kinda give justification for the flare gun, but they could just remove those and the game wouldn’t necessarily change.
And this is really annoying because you literally face a “bull” in the next level. You know what would have been great, if the bull chased the red flare. I think I read somewhere that you can use it to stun him, but I would vastly prefer if he saw the flare and chased after it. This would give more use to the item, and add a new layer to your inventory management. You can only carry five flares at a time, so do you lose a flare, or do you try to outrun it? I would have preferred that option, especially because you get an automatic stun later in that level!
The next enemy could have also been stunned this way. When I hit him with it, he just shrugged it off basically immediately. It would make sense that causing a ton of light would cause a lens flare that helps you escape, but no, he just shrugs it off.
Now one part that also annoyed me was with the bull I mentioned before. There’s this one part where he has to charge you, and you quickly run out of the way so that he breaks through the wall. This would have been fun to use the flare gun, but I digress. No my problem with this section is that it’s impossible to do without getting hurt, which is very frustrating. It’s ESPECIALLY frustrating when the bull stops in front of you to do a different attack from the charge. Which he does A TON. It was super frustrating.
The next enemy, “The Flash,” just sticks onto you way too hard. Like if he’s on you, it’s basically impossible to get away from him. That’s hyperbole, but it is really really annoying to deal with.
Those were the major things (excluding what I’m about to get to). There were some minor things like sometimes aiming/parkour is hard to do on switch, but I blame the switch more than I do the game.
But none of those were awful. Like, even though Allen was annoying, he wasn’t game breaking. The flare gun not used, annoying, but like, so what. No, the one thing that I think was absolutely wrong was the final boss fight. It was absolutely garbage. And it’s so sad because it didn’t even ruin the game. I still fucking love it, but I don’t EVER want to play that ending again. I kinda have an urge to play the other parts, but that ending? Absolutely not.
The ending constantly has barrels that explode coming for you. It’s not too bad except that they all basically one shot you no matter what difficulty you’re on. Literally, sometimes they’ll take you down 5 health, other times they’ll take 70 health. And I switched to easy because I though “oh, it’s because I’m on hard.” No, it’s fucking office. And it’s not TOO hard to dodge… except when you’re dealing with all the little enemies chasing after you. Which is basically always. And further on the fight, you have to let them hit you, so you basically have the same problem as the bull from before. This was absolutely intentional, but god damn you could have done it better.
Also, I’m the second to final section, the boss will have these huge aoe attacks that are impossible to dodge and aren’t telegraphed well. Like, it’ll make the ground turn read before it happens, but it’s not for a lot of time, and sometimes you have absolutely NO CHANCE to dodge it. And those hits are sometimes 1 hit KOs. Which is fucking awful and I hated it.
You beat the boss by using the previous tapes/levels to defeat it, because you’ve been able to learn from your patients, and that’s made you stronger. It has multiple sections, each reminiscent of a previous tape.
Except it didn’t do a good job of thematically tying itself into those tapes. You just use them when you get from point A to B because that’s what the fight tells you to do. You got a specific item in every tape/level of the game, but the only time you need to use them is for the last tape and at least ONCE for the flare gun.
The first item you get is a mirror that reveals the truth and can be used to cut tape… and in the first section of the final boss, you use it to cut tape. I would have absolutely preferred to use it in a cool way for something, using the mirror to find the truth. Maybe there were a bunch of tape recorders, and Virginia is pointing out the real one. That would have been cool, but didn’t happen.
The flare gun was only used to get rid of darkness in front of the tape (and maybe a few darknesses before). Imagine instead if you used the flare gun to call for help, like a flare gun usually does, and then boom, Allen Shore shows up and you can use the second tape recorder.
The third faze is the one reminiscent of the bull where you have to let the exploding stuff flying at you hit them. It would have been amazing if you had to use the lure pills (the item you get during the third tape) to get past the doors, but no, nothing cool like that.
And it’s not like the entire tape was bad, it had some AMAZING moments. Between the first and second phase, you can high five a mannequin that helped you along the way. I missed it the first time, so I went back and redid it. AND IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL M. I LITERALLY WAS INSTANTLY REENERGIZED TO KEEP GOING. But that’s the ONLY time they did it. They could have done something like that between each phase, but once again no. Between the second and third phase maybe a whale helps you get between them (it makes sense if you’ve played it.) I can’t think of something for the third and fourth phase (maybe a car taking out a bunch of enemies for you), but in between the fourth and final phase, Rosemary can come and help you. There was room to make the boss fight much more enjoyable, but it’s just kinda sad that it wasn’t.
But your character beats Agent Rainbow with a cool one liner and I literally jumped up in joy it was so fucking cool I literally said “Fuck yeah,” the ending of the story was amazing, the final gameplay was not.
So now that we got the bad out of the way, let’s get to the good.
OH! Also Allen gets associated with Icarus for some reason. It doesn’t make sense in any way and it just weird. But now onto the good stuff really.
Edit: one last thing I wanted to add (seriously this time) is something I said in the good post. The game ends with Agent rainbow coming back and basically telling you he’s still out there in the hearts of other. I think it would make sense if he survived in Desmond as a representation that overcoming trauma is a process that continues even after you think you finished.
Ok, so, In Sound Mind is an amazing game and you should definitely play it if you think you’d like it. So I’m gonna be posting a lot about it because I finished it and it’s super good.
So let’s start with what it is.
It’s a psychological survival horror indie game with a soundtrack by The Living Tombstone (‘you should’ve picked Mercy’ guy). If you’ve played any persona game, then it’s like if that was survival horror. It has some really cool ‘monster designs,’ that are like symbolic and stuff.
Anyways, you play Desmond Wales, a therapist who wakes up in the basement of your building. As you start to explore, you realize that the world isn’t quite what it seems, and you begin investigating the situations of your patients (one died, one is in a coma, and two are missing). While they at first seem unrelated, a large narrative and conspiracy starts to unravel.
Quick note, Tlt didn’t do the sound design, he just made 6 incredible songs for the game.
It’s made by this small indie company called We Create Stuff. It seems to be their first foray into an original IP that is a full game with a narrative and stuff. They have other games, but they’re not necessarily “games.” That mean. If you check out their website, you’ll see what I mean. They have other games, but In Sound Mind is their first game game.
Anyways, I’ll get more in depth in later posts, but we’ll end here rn because no spoilers.
#in sound mind#survival horror#psychological horror#indie games#video games#horror games#spoilers#tons of spoilers#it’s so good#allen shore#max nygaard#lucas cole#Virginia Ruhr#in sound mind Virginia#Virginia in sound mind#criticism#good faith#it’s a good game
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what if this is zarina’s outfit when the traveler first meets her in sumeru? it’s her returning back from liyue or somewhere else, so she didn’t wear anything of the akademiya clothing. instead, something she preferred herself. as in, her attending a meeting with the sages (that were left) after coming back. the white as the symbolic trickery but also because wearing black in sumeru’s climate will end her. also having been called back by naphis to update her on the situation and once again offering to her to take over as a sage of amurta, but... yet once again, she refuses.
#❅ 𝐕. GI: SUMERU AU ⤻ the frozen moon’s daughter‚ ichor spills in the iris of your serpent eye. ❞#anyways im done with my call to my family#im gonna... im gonna... u know... eat before heading out to the field#❄ ― WARDROBE. ╱ the silk flares up in flames,then turns to a pool of blood.
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It is gensh1nposting
:readmore:
Hope that works uhmmmm HEE HEE
So I'm in the rana quest because I love her and exploring and stufffff also . Mihoyo let Rana become playable ? Please please please ur nothing?
(I love her ridiculous half hoodie girl why is only one side warm. I also love that she has a big hammer)(the npcs have pretty strong characters even if they still arent allowed luxuries like moving mouth)(also. I could fix her (minmax her stats and be really stubborn about keeping her on the team))
I GOT sidetracked POINT IS
we are talking about the children avoiding questioning and she mentions that the dendro archon is connected to the forest people SO
I think she was a forest people like how venti was a wind spirit
(I'm connecting the doooooots)
I wanted 2 post this so I could have surety of my bragging rights when this is confirmed later. Because it will be because I'm Right
#beeep#gi#<- i assume some of u have this blacklisted djbjbzjv#also the baby lesbian.....i believe in u you will get a coolgirl gf later#for real though some playable characters im like. i struggle to care about you in your dedicated story quest#but then genshin is like here. world quest npc lesbians.#and i am like 🥺 omg#idk if rana is a lesbian. she could be ! but also the other time im thinking of was the whale research lesbians#like fuck yeah girls..... write your funky whale essays. that could be a date#the main quest npcs plotlines were hitting a little too close. aheemheem#its not even that similar but flares restricting your ability to exost is like. yeah . it is SO frustrating#so i went to party with rana my other npc bestieeee#sumeru spoilers#this might also be blacklisted hrmmm#but also ooooh rana . rana quit your job. join my emo band#i could triple crown you. you would fight like a princess's champion#could even use elemental stuff if i stick you with chongyun....#. it did not work. alas
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Fellow Crohn's sufferers: are flare ups more common early on? I had a flare in November (about 3 months after starting meds) and I'm p sure I'm having one now. Is this normal/expected or am I doing something wrong? I'm fairly certain the medication is working (overall, I've seen significant improvement and have felt so, so much better), but it feels like I've flared so much already (ik this is only 2, but it seems so close together). I'm just kind of scared.
#personal#health#crohns#ibd#flare#medical#pls im so worried#im calling my gi tomorrow but im really anxious rn#ugh#i feel so bad rn
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I’m 2000% sure dissociated sick blogging during multi illness flare ups are the cripplepunk version of a bender
#im on one now but im so out it that im not having a bad ti#i cant feel my body and it sucks#cripplepunk#chronic illness#ehlers danlos#pots#gi illness#dont worry though. my husband is also home sick minus the flare ups so im not alone
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knowing my dad might make comments or be like "why do you need a cane you're 24" doesn't hurt that much bc hes antagonistic and rude to me all the time and I'm used to it but like
knowing that mom will see me with one, pity me cause of her own internalized shame, feel like its "her fault" and have that one shitty boss's words echo thru the lens of her daughter
that hurts
#thots et al#I haven't really told her about the increasing unmanageability of my flare ups bc idek what to do about it lol#still have no diagnosis to speak of beyond HSD#i have a feeling my GI follow up may uncover more in what could be a tightly connected endocrine web#if hormones have my reproductive system messed up#and they think they might have my GI system messed up#then by golly they might just be darn tootin messed up#its just sad bc i want to tell her about it#and i know she'll quickly come around to the idea of me getting the help i need#but it requires A. admitting to her that its getting worse#and B. looking her in the eyes (video call) when she realizes i need a cane too... and just all the complex emotions that brings#i guess its kinda hard to explain the emotions but my mom REALLY suffered for her disability in her life#she was hurt by her family her friends her employers#so like idk unless you were raised with a mom who just couldn't walk sometimes or who needed to lean on you every time you went shopping#who was in and out of the hospital for surgeries#on and off medications that hurt as much as they help#then its kinda hard to explain the look im fearing so much#she'll just wish... she could have done better by me#but she never did ANYTHING wrong
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// I do not know what is up with my body and at this point I'm too afraid to ask but I'll be lurking around today. Mutuals and those who already have it are free to bother me on di.s.c.ord.
#{ i am dizzy and i hope its just from this swollen lymph node which is#most likely from seasonal allergies#and not a severe neuropathy flare up#trying to get a doctor's appointment right now is a joke#because everyone is so backed up because we are still in the middle of a g.d pannini. a fuxking hot pannus#a patricia if you will. and going to urgent care is also pointless because theyll just tell me to do#the exact things im already doing#I haven't seen my gp in over a year but I think i have a hematologist appointment ij the next few months#i def need to see an GI specialist at some point#thankfully my onc-heme doc is pretty good with ordering tests i request#and trying to get in with an obgyn has been like pulling teeth. also need to get in with an oral surgeon uuuggghhh }#outofgraves
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Stelara didn’t work, and Humira/Amgevita isn’t quite working yet. I had pneumonia & pleurisy in Oct/Nov so I was on quite a few rounds of antibiotics. I never know if that changes how IBD meds work in our bodies and my doctor can’t tell me either.
This flare up is awful, I borderline begged for prednisone which I got. Im decreasing every 3 days instead of every 7, so we’ll see how it works. I’m terrified to be even more immunosuppressed given the state of the world we’re in. I’m exhausted and frustrated, and it’s hard to not dream about the days I was on Remicade and living a completely normal life. It was incredible. It feels like a different lifetime. I’m scared and I don’t know what it’s going to look like from here.
I have a tentative appointment to get a sigmoidoscopy first week of January, so we’ll see what that shows, but there’s a good chance that I break down in my GI’s office….
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man having GI/digestive tract issuesnis wack bc i have been in a flare up for a month now and it is showing no signs of stopping and it is one of the worser ones (not the worst[tm] but between length of time and side effects of it..) and my body feels horrific bc its been a MONTH and all i can tell most ppl is "im feeling a bit bad!" or "I'm feeling a bit ill!" or even "Im a bit under the weather" bc the GI/digestive issues I have are so gross and TMI and i cant share that with most ppl but using these nondescript incomplete excuses esp when calling out of work is making me lose my marbles bc i cant stop being anxious bc these are such vague excuses, but i cannot tell my boss about [redacted statement about my GI issues] so like...... womp
#personal#i hope this makes sense#anyway my guts are so upset and active#im lowkey mad at them for being so silent last week at my doctor appt related to this
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