#anyway my guts are so upset and active

[bunnyboy-juice]

man having GI/digestive tract issuesnis wack bc i have been in a flare up for a month now and it is showing no signs of stopping and it is one of the worser ones (not the worst[tm] but between length of time and side effects of it..) and my body feels horrific bc its been a MONTH and all i can tell most ppl is "im feeling a bit bad!" or "I'm feeling a bit ill!" or even "Im a bit under the weather" bc the GI/digestive issues I have are so gross and TMI and i cant share that with most ppl but using these nondescript incomplete excuses esp when calling out of work is making me lose my marbles bc i cant stop being anxious bc these are such vague excuses, but i cannot tell my boss about [redacted statement about my GI issues] so like...... womp

[luxurychristmaspudding]

Weightless | On Call

summary: your curtains are closed, truck silent on the drive. today of all days, you shouldn't be alone.

pairing: neighbour!frankie morales x f!reader

ratings/warnings: 18+, MDNI. dual pov. loooots of angst. active grieving for a dead parent. a very soft frankie. vibes are better in the next chapter lmao.

wc: 2.1k

an: my grandad was a man who loved flowers. today marks seven years since we lost him. he was gentle and kind and so talented.

have some forget me nots, which are in my garden and now also in your hands. for @morallyinept's flora and fauna challenge. for anyone you may also miss <3

When the time came Just like you are He was weightless In my arms

- weightless, elbow

series masterlist | main masterlist

Your house is quiet.

Quiet like Frankie has never heard. 

There’s always some kind of noise. A record turning, the hum of your voice. The TV on, windows open to birdsong. But today, there is nothing. 

His legs are heavy. Heart heavy, fingers shaking, wrapped around the bag of groceries he’s brought. He’s taken two steps in through your front door, and now he doesn’t know what to do. 

He watches the dust motes swim in the sun of your hallway. Shifts on his feet to look through into the living room. You must be upstairs, but to call your name in the silence of the morning feels like too much. Invasive. Cruel. 

Instead, he swallows and takes the remaining strides into your kitchen. Breathes in the fresh smell of your plants, the familiarity of your spice rack in the corner, the spread of miscellaneous stuff that he’s rarely seen tidied away. He gently places the bag of groceries on the counter before opening your cupboards for a vase. 

Once he finds one, he fills it with water and trims the stems. Forget-me-nots and white carnations. Something simple. Remembrance and love. Bright and pretty. No lilies. They only remind you of the funeral.

He’s biding his time. Trying to tamp down the nerves swirling in his gut, the somersault of his heart in his chest. He knows from the gaps left in his own life that today will be hard. And he wants to make it easier for you. He just hasn't worked out how.

He knows what works for him. The long hikes, the pull of a bottle. In murkier times, many years ago now, the sharp taste of powdered gums. Knows what works for the boys. The days with drawn curtains, video games played in the gloom. Tequila and memories shared across barbeques. Even his parents - honorary pastel de choclo, flicking through photo albums. But for you, he’s not sure. 

Once he’s happy with the way the flowers are arranged, he takes off his shoes. He leaves his cap on the counter, and pads up the stairs.

It’s still quiet. You’re not in the bathroom. No reason for you to be in any other of the rooms. He holds his breath and raises his knuckles against the wood of your bedroom door.

He knocks, softly - once. Waits for an answer that doesn’t come, but pushes it open anyway.

‘Bug?’ He says gently into the morning sunlight.

You’re swaddled in bed, still in your pyjamas, eyes red and swollen. You sit up slightly with a watery smile as he edges in, managing a crackled hey, Fish.

A sharp lump rises in Frankie’s throat. Something about seeing you upset has always hurt; the same kind of ache he gets in his chest when Lucia or his mum cries. His eyes flick from yours to your bedside table, to the picture of your father settled on top of it. Frozen in time, his smile is wide - just like yours. Greying hair, a little more chin fat than he would have had as a younger man. A younger you tucked into his side, his arm slung over your shoulders. Your arms around his middle, squeezing, laughing. Fuck.

Frankie’s heart shoots out the bottom of his legs and skids across the floor. He looks you over, and your chin wobbles. Too much. Too vulnerable. The smile drops, your face cracks. Your mouth clamps shut with a snap of teeth, and a fresh wave of tears begins to pour down your cheeks.

Frankie feels his own expression crumble, and he’s at your side before he can even think for his feet to take him there. Perched on your mattress, arms around your shoulders to pull you close. Shushing like the gentle in and out of waves, lips pressed to your hot forehead. 

You’re tense, so tense. Breath coming in choked hiccups, shoulders up to your ears. Hands gripping the sheets. There’s another pull in Frankie’s chest.

‘Stop trying not to cry,’ he murmurs, ‘I can feel it.’

You release a ragged breath, a heartbroken cry as you cling to his sleeves. Like you're being ripped apart. Like you're being drowned.

‘I’m sorry,’ you gasp, ‘I’m sorry.’ 

Frankie shifts you further across the bed so he can fit next to you, shaking his head. 

‘Don’t be sorry. Why should you be sorry?’

‘You don’t have to be here,’ you choke, ‘It’s okay. You don’t have to stay.’

Frankie closes his eyes. Leaving you here is the furthest thing from his mind, a notion that wouldn’t even cross it.

‘I want to.’ He says.

You nod, curled tight to him. He can feel dampness seeping through his hoodie, and he sits back against the headboard, cradling you to his chest. His heart is beating so fast. You can hear it, the conch of your ear pressed to the cage of his ribs. You try to focus on it, try to think of nothing else. Try not to think of this day four years ago. The weightless feel of your father in your arms in the last minutes of his life. How you held him when he could hold you no longer.

‘What do you need, baby?’ Frankie asks.

The streams of tears, the bow of your brow, serve to split his heart in two.

‘I don’t know.’ You whisper.

So Frankie holds you closer, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

Unwittingly, he’s answered the question for you. For the last four years, you have needed to be held like this. Needed to be held together by someone who is not yourself, someone who can shoulder the weight of the grief you have carried alone for years, just for a moment. 

You lose yourself to it. To the warmth, the smell, the comfort. You let the flood come, you let Frankie rock you. You ask him how Luc is, and he understands the need to hear about life outside this room. So he tells you about her arts and crafts, her newfound dislike of mac and cheese, what she wants for her birthday. The daisy chains she's been making, the sweetpeas they're growing in their garden. And it’s wonderful. It reminds you of the good of the world, that it keeps spinning, that there is love out there even when it feels lost to you. 

If there is something out there other than life, you hope your dad is in it. On a deck chair with a beer on the beach, a little basket of fries delivered to him every so often. He’s smiling, laughing. You hope he’s still around, because the idea that he’s not is too big, too great to face. It’s too lonely. Too terrifying to be alone in this world, no anchor, no tether, a family with their backs to you after you’d told them who you loved, too far in the distance to turn back to you with outstretched palms. An ex-fiancée who simply didn’t love you enough.

But he’s here, you feel. Here in this moment, watching from somewhere above. Mixed with the fabric of now like clothes in a washing machine. A spiral of colour and feeling. Pink, purple, blue, green. Love, joy, heartbreak, loss.

Orange. Orange and white is what Frankie can see. The warmth of the sunlight, the pale of your sheets. You’re far away but safe in his arms. He wants you there always. Wants to be wherever you need him.

He thinks of this day in his own life, four years ago. The tiny, warm body of his baby in his arms. Weightless as you are now and yet so heavy, the two of them fighting sleep in a nursery elsewhere in Florida. He can still smell her hair, still hear the way she’d babble, the way she still fit tucked into one arm. He swallows, hard. Holds you tighter still, thumbs rubbing your shoulder, your side. There is so much of his daughter’s life to see. He can’t imagine having it cut short. Can’t imagine knowing it would end soon, counting down the days as his body wasted. The milestones he’d miss, the moments and memories. The stories and people she’d introduce him to. It doesn’t bear thinking about, her out in the wide world without him to guide or protect her. And he knows you’d hate it, but he’s sorry. So sorry that that’s the life you have, that you don’t have him to turn to anymore. And he’s sorry for your dad. For him to have missed who you are now, to miss who you will be. 

He presses another kiss to your head, hoping to convey this. This nebulous thought, this strange feeling.

‘He wrote letters for me,’ you whisper into his neck. So quietly, voice strained to breaking as you force the words out. ‘For birthdays. For jobs. For my first home. For my wedding. For a first child.’ You try to smile, but it’s flattened with a broken breath. ‘He thought of everything. And I read them again today - the ones I’m up to - but it’s like - it’s like his voice -’ you cut yourself off, burying your face in your hands as you try to calm down. ‘Sometimes it’s like I can’t hear him properly anymore.’ 

Frankie strokes the back of your hand, and it drops easily. He holds it in clammy palms.

In the cold days after your dad passed, through numb dissonance you had googled everything to do with grief. The stages, the remedies, the processes. What you forget first.

Voice. There would be a day, before anything else, when you wouldn’t be able to remember how your name sounded spoken by his lips. When you couldn’t remember the texture of I love you spoken in his tongue.

Frankie knows this. He googled it after Colombia, when the weight of every body he’d seen or carried seemed to settle on him. It had comforted him. He didn’t want to remember shouts and screams, couldn’t stomach the memory of Tom’s orders rattling through his brain. But he feels so desperate to take this from you, to retract and hide what you know. So useless in the face of so much hurt, so much loss. Even when he knows the best he can do is sit here in it with you. 

You press your free fingertips into your eyes. 

‘I’m so scared, Frankie,’ you whisper from behind the dark in your head. ‘I’m so scared I might forget him.’

Frankie’s seen the simplicities of grief before. Knows them intimately. Knows the horror of these realisations, understands as he presses his lips to your hairline and you shake in his arms. He loves you too much to lie.

So instead, he tells you a truth.

‘I’ve got you. I’ve got you.’

When the light turns from golden to white, the sun a little higher in the sky, you disentangle yourself to blow your nose. You manage a laugh as you do it, muttering a bashful ew as Frankie watches you, still stretched out on your mattress. Any other time, and your heart would be hammering in your chest at the sight. But now, it’s all the comfort you need. 

He stands, stiff, stretching his arms to the ceiling before gathering you briefly in his arms again. 

‘You okay?’ He asks.

‘Better.’ You say, brushing a curl from his forehead.

His eyes are so warm, so gentle. 

‘Breakfast?’

You hum, offer him the best smile you can. A sludge of guilt slops in your stomach, but you try to swallow it.

‘Thank you. I’ll be down in a bit.’

When he’s downstairs, listening to the sound of your shower, he unpacks his grocery bag and begins making a stack of pancakes. Blueberry, banana, strawberry, chocolate chip. Syrup enough for you to taste through the salt at the back of your throat. Methodical, mechanical, more focused on listening for your movements through the floors of your house. The shutting off of the water, the soft thunk of your drawers. Your footsteps heavy on the stairs, down the hall. You appear in the doorway, hair washed, eyes red, cosy in sweats and a t-shirt. He smiles at you, and you smile back. It’s small, but it’s a start.

You move closer, and he takes you under his arm as he turns the stove off. You wrap your arms around his middle.

‘Thank you for the flowers,’ you say, quietly. Frankie follows your eyes to the bouquet arranged in the vase. Forget-me-nots, white carnations. ‘Thank you for not getting lilies.’

He smiles, kisses your forehead. Wonders whether he could leave a mark simply from doing it so often, so you’d always feel safe.

‘No problem.’

He guides you towards the table, pulls out the chair and makes sure you’re settled. Makes sure you have your coffee, your pancakes. The smell of the flowers is sweet, something blooming in your stomach. You trace the outline of them before you, the simplicity, the thought. Frankie asks what you want to do for the rest of the day. You deflect the question back at him, and he smiles.

‘Anything.’

‘Anything?’

You raise an eyebrow at his mhm.

‘That’s dangerous.’ You say with a wry smile.

Something in Frankie’s chest lifts. There she is.

Later, when Luc is tucked into your side and you’re tucked into Frankie’s, you’ll wonder how you can ever repay him. The kindness he shows you, the patience.

You only hope that you will, someday. Promise it, head leant against his shoulder.

Even if it takes the rest of your life.

[myfictionaldreams]

Overwhelming // Mafia!Stucky x fem!Reader

Summary: It had been your birthday a few days ago and both Steve and Bucky had made it their mission to give you the most lavish party followed by intense, long nighttime activities. However as you lay in bed on Monday morning, something just didn't feel quite right.

Prompt: How would the boys help Reader through a subdrop?

Requested by: @southern-goth​ (thank you so much for the request! And for the amazing header that I’ve included in your previous request, I love it!)

Tags: sfw, polyamory, subdrop, dom/sub relationship, mentions of rough sex, fluff, hurt/comfort, aftercare (lots!!), soft steve & bucky, crying/anxiety, size difference, pet names, praising, kissing

Words: 2.8k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

The night was filled with restless tossing and turning from the edge of the bed. There was nothing in particular that you could definitely pinpoint as the reason for the unease but you saw every hour of the night.

Even as Bucky’s warm, solid body found yours across the bed, his mind still deep within the sleep world, he still enveloped himself around you. Normally, the strong beat of his heart against your ear, even his natural musk would be enough to make you feel safe and relaxed in your own peaceful sleep.

However as the clock ticked to 04:30 am, all hope was lost for the land of rest and as you found yourself needing to turn in Bucky’s arms once more, the decision was made. Carefully, as to not wake the sleeping gang member, you inched out from underneath his metal arm, gently laying it back down on the bed.

Stretching out your body, you had to refrain from sighing, for no reason in particular. There was a heavy feeling settled through the centre of your chest, making your body feel heavy and weighted, almost making it an effort to even find the energy to stand.

But you pushed yourself to stand, needing to move and shake off whatever feeling had been disturbing your sleep. Deciding to go and make a coffee, you gave one last glance at the two men still sleeping, usually feeling a happy calm at being able to witness them both look so peaceful. However, your gut twisted, a lump forming in your throat that took a moment to pass.

Exiting the bedroom, your steps were slow and dragging along the carpet. Confused as to why you were feeling upset, almost like there was a rain cloud hovering over your head.

Waiting for the coffee to heat, your mind began to wonder, trying to deduce what might be wrong but in reality, you were already aware, it had just never been this impactful before.

It had been your birthday a few days ago, Steve and Bucky had made it their mission to give you the most lavish party however, it was the nighttime activities that might have been the cause for your emotions. Not only were you the centre of attention during the fucking but it had been long, intense, mind-blowing sex that left you begging for more, of which your boyfriends were happy to oblige.

The mental headspace that a session like that gave you felt almost euphoric, nothing could be negative, even falling into a little bit of subspace following it, giving the sensation of floating, like being drunk. Then a couple of hours later with the unbalance of hormones (something Bucky had to explain), it would feel like depression with how low your mood would go as you experienced a subdrop. Luckily you were never far from the boys who regularly checked in on you anyway to give the support you desperately needed.

Concluding that this was the cause for how you were feeling, you should have contemplated waking either one of your boyfriends but the shame seemed to overpower any rational thought. You were your own worst enemy during these subdrops and the added exhaustion that was influencing your body, it was a toxic pair.

Steve and Bucky had made the weekend so incredibly special for you, every moment had a smile permanently stitched to your face so for it all to come crashing down and be this needy, depressed person, you were embarrassed and ashamed. The feeling would pass, and it always did so making the decision to just suck it up and keep it to yourself, they’d already done so much for you.

As you poured the now steaming hot coffee into the cup, you heard the recognisable sound of heavy footsteps approaching from behind and rather than being excited and giddy which was usually your reaction to your boyfriends, the heavy sensation only increased in your chest.

Unbeknownst to Steve, he padded into the kitchen, smiling upon seeing you with fresh coffee. Walking up behind your much shorter body, his hands cupped your hips, gently pulling you back into his muscular build, his handsome face dropping to give a chaste kiss to your cheek.

“Good morning baby”, his voice was thick with sleep, croaking slightly. Trying to play along with it, leaning into his warmth, even though you wanted to run away and cry so he couldn’t see.

“Morning”.

As Steve spoke, he manoeuvred around you, finding his own cup to pour coffee into. “You’re up early, how are you feeling this morning?” his question was innocent but it caused your heart to pound.

“I’m fine”, you were thinking coherent thoughts to be able to think of an excuse for being up so early, usually being the last to rise. “How are you? Are you off to the gym?” referring to his attire and it wasn’t like he was travelling far with the homemade gym in the basement.

A subtle frown momentarily crossed over his expression at the monotone way you were answering his questions but he shrugged it away, you would tell him if something was wrong, putting it down to tiredness. “Yeah, need to work off some of the cake from this weekend”, he joked, a twinkle forming in his eye. “After that, I’m all yours”.

“I had you all weekend”, you were quick to take a drink of your coffee, even as it was too hot and slightly scorched your tongue. Steve squinted at you in curiosity, noting your flat tone once more.

“You can have me every second of every day if that makes you happy” he admitted softly, brushing his lips against your forehead. It did make you happy but with the mood you were in, you felt selfish and guilty for this. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“I’m just tired, I might go back to bed”, this was a lie but he seemed to accept it, kissing your cheek once more for comfort and then heading off towards the gym. Finally being on your own, and getting what you wanted it would be an assumption to presume this would make you feel any better but it only made you feel worse. Not realising just how much you were depending on his warmth and the coolness returning to your skin as you sulked into the living room, turning on the TV to a random channel, not paying attention at all.

No, instead you stared into space, holding one of the decorative cushions to your body to try and fill the void that was aching your chest but this of course did nothing. The longer you were awake, the worst you were continuing to feel, emotionally and physically.

It was almost like being hungover, the anxiety that follows a heavy drinking session and the fatigue from the effects of alcohol, except there was no alcohol involved and you were feeling all of these effects just from a hormone imbalance.

As you continued to sit in your pity, Bucky had begun to descend the stairs in joggers and a white shirt, following the noise of the TV to find you sitting on the couch. He didn’t say a single word or notice the off-mood and simply reached your head over the back of the couch, tipping it back to peck your lips.

His touch had caused you to jump slightly having been lost in your thoughts and not heard him approaching but he was already walking into the kitchen, probably to pour his own morning drink, like he did every morning.

As if right on queue, the hulking form of the brunette returned to your eye line, smiling before taking a sip of his black coffee as he sat next to you. “What are you watching, mama?”

The lump had returned to your throat so instead of answering him, you shrugged your shoulders, not even looking at the TV, knuckles adding to the discomfort with how aggressively you held onto the pillow as if it was your lifeline.

Bucky wasn’t stupid, he knew were off the moment he saw you on the sofa, alone. Even without the glazed-over look in your eyes or the tension in your shoulders, he had known you for long enough to know what was going on. Carefully placing his cup onto the small table between the TV and the couch, Bucky sighed in frustration. Not that you were in this situation, but because you hadn’t come to him or Steve, wishing your anxiety would understand that they wanted to help and wouldn’t be annoyed or aggravated by you just simply needing them more than other days.

It was half expected anyway following the weekend, that's why Steve and Bucky had made sure that they were home today rather than in the office, making sure only to be contacted in case of emergency.

Not that this had even crossed your mind at all this morning, in fact, if asked, you couldn’t name what day it was in the week because all that consumed your mind was the hope for Bucky to get up and leave. Hope that he would find something he actually enjoyed doing instead of wasting another hour with you.

Of course, this was ridiculous thinking and if Bucky truly knew what was going through your self-sabotaged thoughts, he would probably sit you down for three hours and rant about how absurd and untrue this was.

“How are you feeling after the birthday weekend, it was slightly intense wasn’t it?” he asked casually, not taking his eyes off you for even a second.

“A bit”, was your only answer.

He continued to try and ask questions, hoping to draw some kind of a reaction of out you to engage just how severe this subdrop was and so far, it wasn’t looking that positive. “Does it hurt anywhere?”

Again, he referred to the activities from the weekend. Your response was half a shake of the head to say no but that was mostly for his benefit, desperate to not have him feeling bad because, in reality, your body was aching. Especially between your legs and upper arms from where they held you in a firm grip. It wasn’t like they hadn’t prepped but they were so much bigger than you, it always felt a little uncomfortable the day after and yesterday, you’d been begging for them to keep going, thriving in the pain mixed with pleasure. However now as the arousal was swept from your body, and feeling as fatigued as you did, it only emphasised the areas that were especially sensitive.

Judging by your demeanour, he contemplated continuing talking to you, to better understand the stand-offish behaviour but with the slight tremble rocking your body, this wasn’t what you needed.

Bucky instead opted to reach for the pillow, attempting to pull it away but you held on tightly, muttering that it was comfortable. The brunette didn’t relent, however, putting a little more strength until the pillow was firmly in his grip and being placed on the table.

Without missing a beat, Bucky was gently pulling on your arms, coaxing you into his lap. Before you could even straddle his hips, you began to sob, the emotions finally overwhelming you.

Grasping his shirt tightly, you cried heavily into Bucky’s t-shirt and he just held you, running his warm hand up and down your spine in slow circles whilst his metal hand rested on the back of your head.

You cried and cried until completely exhausted and only hiccups remained, eyes now sore and Bucky’s t-shirt soaked. Your boyfriend hadn’t asked you any further questions, he didn’t need to, having been right about his theory, Bucky knew you just needed to be close and present with him and Steve once he returned from the gym.

“You’re safe mama, I’ve got you, I’m not going anywhere, I love you”. Bucky repeated these four statements repeatedly, over and over until his mouth was dry and even then continued until his fists loosed the grip of his t-shirt.

“I know you’re going to be feeling some negative emotions right now Doll but I need you to listen to me and believe what I’m saying. We love you, this feeling is going to pass and we’ll be right next to you the entire time.”

Bucky’s words did help to break down that mental barrier but now you were completely exhausted.

“What we are going to do first is go upstairs, I’m going to run you a hot bath then we’ll have some food, maybe have a midday nap, we can watch a movie or play a game. We are going to take today slowly but we’re not leaving your side, not until you’re feeling better, ok?”

With your eyes closed, you were only able to nod against his chest in response. His list of activities sounded perfect, the desire to run away having completely disappeared now which you were thankful for but it was only replaced with the sensation to be cradled to his body. 

Luckily for you, Bucky knew this and was more than happy to mostly carry you up the stairs and into the master bathroom, settling you into the bathtub, and helping to discard your clothes before filling it up with water hot enough to relax your tense muscles. Bucky himself didn’t climb into the bath, instead sat on the floor, stroking his fingers across your head exactly how you liked it, smiling as your furrowed brows relaxed.

You could have fallen asleep right there and then, until Steve’s voice was drifting into your ears as he stood at the bathroom door, sweat dripping from his brow. “Everything ok?”

For the first time that day, you properly looked at Bucky, feeling slightly anxious at the thought of him having to tell Steve about the subdrop. But your boyfriend was quick to swipe away the negativity as he said in a low voice, “Remember what I said downstairs? About the list of activities, we’re doing today? Well Stevie here is going to take my place here and I’ll go and cook us some brunch, how does that sound?”

Surprisingly, the corner of your lips lifted into a subtle smile. Bucky beamed at this, the corner of his eyes creasing with the joy he was displaying before he reached across the kiss the tip of your nose and speak to Steve.

You couldn’t hear what was said but Steve was soon joining you in the bathroom and you sat and watched silently as he took off his gym attire. “Enjoying the view baby?” he asked teasingly before helping you to sit forward, giving him room to sit behind you in the water, eagerly pulling your body back to rest against his. “I love you” he whispered as he held you tightly.

If you weren’t so exhausted, you probably would have cried at even that smallest statement because it was all you wanted to hear.

Turning slightly in his embrace, once again you didn’t feel like talking, even though you wanted to repeat your love to him just as much as you had wanted to with Bucky, the words seemed to fail you. So instead you lay your head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat thumping against your ear. Steve understood your intentions, knew these little signs that showed your vulnerability and made sure to tighten his grip slightly, making you feel enclosed more.

Unsure of how much time had passed, Steve eventually had to move the two of you to make sure you were both washed before the water cooled too much. Then once out of the water, he didn’t waste any time helping to dry your body in a large cream towel, dressing you in oversized pyjamas before even starting to care for himself. As the two of you returned downstairs, Bucky announced that brunch was nearly finished and from the smell, it was going to be delicious.

Throughout the entire time, you were attached to either Steve or Bucky, whether that was holding a hand or sitting on either of their laps and they made sure you didn’t do any chores such as washing up. It was important that you rested when feeling this low so straight after finishing the food, they situated into the living room, finding the TV still on from earlier.

You weren’t particularly bothered with whatever movie was selected. No, you were more distracted by the hulky sandwich they’d somehow squashed you into. Your legs were thrown over Steve’s lap, head laying on his shoulder and Bucky was spooning you from behind, it felt like there wasn’t one part of your body that wasn’t touching both of them and you loved it, not even needing a blanket to feel secure in.

Sleep came peacefully now, the ache in your chest having eased after all the comfort you’d been given. Your last thoughts before succumbing fully to sleep were how thankful you were to Steve and Bucky, looking forward to waking up with more energy so you could show them just how much you really loved them.

[therealcocoshady]

Are you still taking requests if not by past this

Lilly (Marshall’s daughter) has a recital that she invited him to but for obvious reasons (him being a celebrity) he isn’t able to go so Lilly is upset and Marshall is kinda bummed and he try’s to make it up to her

« Just Daddy » - Eminem One Shot

Author’s note : THANK YOU for your request ! I am so in love with the Lily/Marshall duo ! If ay of you guys have any requests about this… PLEASE keep them coming, because they make my heart full ! (Also, it is the perfect opportunity for some cute and comforting fluff !!!) 

MARSHALL’S POV 

Marshall usually needed a very good reason to interrupt a studio session, especially if it was one with Dre. In that case, he had interrupted a studio session with Dre, Fifty and Snoop, which could only mean one thing : there was an emergency. In that case, the emergency was Lily’s first big ballet recital, which he couldn’t attend. In truth, he could easily have rescheduled his trip to LA to record a feature and produce a few tracks for Fifty’s latest album, but he couldn’t have attended the recital in person anyway. So far, he had managed to attend the smaller representations, but since this very recital involved most of the art schools in Detroit, with a bit of press coverage involved, he couldn’t take the risk of causing any problems. So instead, he had his wife FaceTime him, so that he would not miss the whole thing.

The sight would make anyone raise an eyebrow : four hip-hop legends sitting in front of an iPad, watching a five year-old’s ballet recital. 

Which one’s yours, man ? Snoop asked. 

Here, Marshall said proudly. Front and center. 

He lovingly watched his baby dance on stage, dressed as a little mouse (or was it supposed to be a cat ?) In a tiny pink tutu. He arbored the brightest smile upon noticing his good his baby was doing. And, being totally objective, she was the one shining the brightest ! When the performance ended and his wife ended the call, he reluctantly turned off the iPad. He had been gone for a whole week and he was gutted to miss such a big event for Lily. So far, in spite of his hectic schedule, he had been able to attend all the major events for her, showing up whenever he could, whether it was school activities or dance performances. 

You good, bro ? Fifty asked. 

Yeah, yeah, he shrugged. 

Missing the family ? Dre chimed in. 

… Yeah, he admitted. I’m usually able to be there for these things. 

We could have rescheduled, you know ? Snoop said. This shit’s important. I’d never miss my grandchildren’s things. 

I know, Marshall replied. I would have. But it’s a fairly big city event, there’s press and I can’t show up like that. You can’t have Eminem ruining a children’s performance by causing a riot or whatever… I wouldn’t have been able to attend anyway, so I might as well work, you know ? 

The press still don’t know about your kid, right ? Dre asked. 

Nope, he said with a smile. Best kept secret in the country, so far. 

Drake’s meat gets leaked on the Internet and meanwhile, you have a family the world knows nothing about, Fifty mused with a grin. 

It’s better this way, Marshall shrugged. Lily’s living the life I always wanted for my eldest : I can give her everything and she doesn’t have to deal with the whole « being Eminem’s daughter » craze. And Y/N doesn’t have do deal with the attention either. 

Not bad, Dre conceded. We all know you love your privacy. 

And how you get crazy when it comes to your kids’ lives, Fifty added. 

They never asked for the bullshit, Marshall simply said. And I swear to God, if Lily’s face ever gets leaked to the press, you guys will have to visit me in jail. 

The others all chuckled. He had always been a protective father but it was even worse when it came to Lily. Rightfully so, though : when the eldest were growing up, attention was a bit easier to avoid. But now, with social media, his baby could become viral in a matter of hours, with no hope for his team to be able to kill the story by bribing the press or threatening to sue. Even now that Alaina, Hailie and Stevie were grown up, they were always dealing with the consequences of having a famous dad, and he wanted to avoid that for his youngest. The less she knew, the better. As far as she was concerned, her Dad made music she didn’t really care about (who was Eminem to compete with Disney princesses and puppies anyway ?) and she had no idea of the magnitude of things. Most of the time, he was able to go places with her and, on the rare occasion people walked up to him, she just assumed it was people he knew. He was also lucky that, so far, she hadn’t really batted an eye when it came to the security officers that discreetly accompanied them. 

They slowly went back to their recording session, the conversation shifting to the others’ kids, then going back to what brought them to Dre’s studio in the first place : music. A few hours later, he was getting ready for dinner, while FaceTiming Y/N. 

We miss you here, she said. 

I miss you girls too, he admitted. Three days and I’m back home. Is Lily with you ? I want to congratulate her. 

In her room, his wife said. She… doesn’t want to talk to you.

What do you mean she doesn’t want to talk to me ?! He asked. What’s wrong ? The performance was good, she was amazing on stage… What went wrong ? 

You weren’t there to hug her when she walked off stage, like you usually are, Y/N explained. She’s upset. She was a mess for fifteen minutes and Hailie had to bribe her with ice cream. 

Shit, he sighed. 

I told her you had to work, she explained with tears in her eyes. But yes… That was a hard. 

Babe… Are you crying ? He asked. 

Don’t worry, she said with a smile. I’m tired and hormonal. Blame it on the babies you put in me. 

How are my sons, by the way ? He asked with a soft smile.

Your possible sons are making their mom’s life a nightmare, she laughed. If I could, I would sleep all the time. And I don’t sleep as well when you’re not in bed with me. 

A few more nights and I’ll be able to cuddle the shit out of you, he said reassuringly. And I’ll stay home for the rest of your pregnancy. 

It’s fine, she said with a yawn. I’m only nine weeks pregnant. I can manage. 

I can’t wait to tell everyone we’re having two more babies, he said. We talked kids with the guys and I swear… Keeping it a secret is harder than I thought it would be. I’m so excited for my sons. 

Possible sons, she giggled. I have to go and put Lily to bed. Say hi to everyone for me, will you ? 

Sure, he replied. Tell Lily I love her ? I’ll try and call tomorrow morning, ok ? 

Of course, Y/N said. I should warn you though… She’s really upset. And she has her Daddy’s temper, too. 

Fuck, babe, can you… Can you try and get her to talk to me ? Please ? 

He could see Y/N open the door to Lily’s room and ask her if she wanted to say hi to him before bed but he heard his daughter’s voice say « No. He wasn’t here, I’m not talking to him ». These two sentences were enough to break his heart, nearly making him sick. He could see his wife looking annoyed and upset, mouthing a silent « I’m sorry » to the camera. They exchanged a few more words and « I love you » to each other and they ended the call. 

It took about thirty seconds for Marshall to make up his mind : screw dinner, screw work, he was flying home. When he decided to adopt Lily, he promised himself to love her, care for her and never do anything to hurt her, and there was no way he would stay in LA while knowing his baby was sad because of him. What kind of father and husband would that make him, leaving his hormonal pregnant wife to pick up his slack ? In five minutes, he packed everything he had in the guest bedroom he occupied at Dre’s house and went downstairs, carrying his bag. 

Ready for dinner ? Dre asked before seeing he had his bag in hand. Oh… 

Sorry man, he said. I have to fly home. 

Anything wrong ? His mentor asked. 

Upset daughter, exhausted pregnant wife, guilty me, he summed up. 

Pregnant wife, huh ? 

Shit. Wasn’t supposed to tell you, he chuckled. But, yeah. Twins. 

Congrats, man, Dre said as he dapped him. Alright. Go back to the family, we’ll pick up sometimes soon. 

Sure, he said. Thanks. Dinner’s on me, I already put my card down at the restaurant. Say bye to the guys for me. 

I should have known you’d fly home, Dre grinned. 

Why ? Marshall chuckled. 

Because it’s Lily, Dre replied. As far as you’re concerned, it’s her world and we’re all living in it. 

Ten minutes later, he was in the car, begging an annoyed Paul to arrange for the jet to fly him back to Detroit as soon as possible. The manager tried to argue with him about his schedule and how late it was but he knew him well enough to know that there was no convincing him to stay in California any longer. Six hours later, in the middle of the night, he crossed the threshold to his house, his heart warming up at the sight of his family’s things scattered all over the place. Evidently, Y/N had had her arms full with Lily in the past week and he couldn’t help but wonder how they would manage once the twins would be born. He usually preferred tidy spaces, by far, but the realization that the mess was caused by his growing, loving family put a smile on his face. He let his bags in the foyer and went to the bedroom, where he found Y/N fast asleep in one of his tee-shirts, hugging his pillow. He got undressed and tried not to wake her up, though he failed miserably as she jumped as soon as she felt the dip in the mattress. 

Hey beautiful, he said softly. It’s just me. 

You’re home ? She asked with a confused expression on her face. 

It’s 90°F in California but the bed was too cold without you, he said with a smile. I was missing home. 

She immediately engulfed him in a hug and he took in her lovely scent as he returned the embrace. One week without the love of his life was too much. He sniffed and noticed something different. His cologne. On her. 

Missed me ? He asked with a grin. 

Oh, shut up, Y/N said as she rolled her eyes. You know I need a big if you you to fall asleep. 

I see, he said with a smile. Enjoy the tee-shirt, babe. Soon, you’ll be too fat to put my clothes on. 

And you’ll have to sleep on the couch to give my fat ass some space in bed, she giggled. 

No way, he chuckled with a shake of his head. We’re sleeping together until the end of this pregnancy. The four of us. 

He placed a loving hand on his wife’s stomach. She wasn’t really showing yet, but he could swear it was just a tiny bit rounder than when he had left. Or maybe he was simply too excited. Y/N laid back down and he kissed her tenderly before kissing her stomach as well. 

Hey guys, he said softly. I’m home. Thanks for taking care of your Mama for me. 

They’re beating the shit out of me, she giggled before yawning. Between fatigue and morning sickness, work and taking care of Lily, I’m a mess. Haven’t had the time to clean up much. 

I saw that, he replied with a smile. I’ll take care of Lily and the mess tomorrow, you just rest, alright ? 

Ok, she said before kissing him. I think Lily’s going to be pleased to see you. 

You think ? He asked anxiously. 

She’s mad but she’ll get over it eventually, she shrugged. 

How mad are we talking, exactly ? 

« The time you forgot our anniversary » mad, I think, she chuckled. 

Any chance the Hermès bag works for Lily as well ? He joked. 

You’re not getting our five year-old a designer bag, she warned. And you know what got you forgiven wasn’t the bag, or any of the other thousand fancy presents you bought to suck up to me that day. 

I know, he chuckled. I’ll find a way to make it up to her. Hopefully it doesn’t involve watching Frozen again. 

You’re on your own with this one, buddy, Y/N said. If I have to sing « Let it go » one more time, I am jumping out of the window. 

Buddy ? He asked. One week away from you and I’ve been downgraded from « My love » to « Buddy » ? 

Make up for your absence and we’ll see, homie. 

You’re lucky I slept on the jet and I’m all energized, he grinned before pulling her to him. 

Safe to say they didn’t sleep much that night, making up for the time spent apart. Y/N was fast to blame the horniness on the hormones and he couldn’t help but think to himself that, if that was true, he would have a lot of fun in the upcoming months. After the deed was done, though, she immediately fell asleep in his arms. She did seem exhausted and it was probably a good thing that he was back, so that she could rest as much as possible. A glance at the clock and he noticed that it was almost 8:00. Lily’s wake up time. And time for him to make amends to his baby girl. He put on some clothes and made his way to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. He was putting everything on a tray, ready to bring it to her bedroom when the doorbell rang, the florist delivering the huge bouquet he had ordered just in time. Bouquet in one hand, tray I the other, he went up the stairs and knocked on the door with his foot before entering. 

Daddy ! Lily said as soon as she saw him. 

Hey bug, he said with a smile. 

She was sitting up in bed, in her pink PJs, her hair still in the bun she wore for the representation. A smile passed on his baby’s face, before being quickly replaced by a frown. Almost as if she suddenly remembered that she was mad at him. Y/N could say what she wanted, that she took a lot after his personality (which was not wrong) she was so her mother. Thankfully, fifty years of life, countless girlfriends and four daughters had taught him a lot when it comes to charm offensive. 

Thought you’d enjoy breakfast in bed, today, he said. Got you some flowers, too. Do you know what they are ? 

Lilies, she said with a smile - and he could see she was trying hard to conceal it. Like me.

That’s right, baby, he grinned. You did amazing at your recital, you know ? Made me proud. 

You missed the recital, Daddy  she said. 

I know, bug, he said as he put the tray and the bouquet on her bedside table. But Mommy FaceTimed me and I still watched you dance, you know ? 

You did ? She asked. 

Of course, he replied. Wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Uncle Dre, Uncle Fifty and Snoop watched with me, too. 

But it’s not the same, she pointed out. 

I know, he said. Mommy told you I had to work, right ? 

She nodded with a small pout and mumbled something about him usually never working on Saturdays. At five years old, she wasn’t exactly a baby anymore and she was perfectly capable of sensing when things weren’t usual. Seeing the sadness and disappointment in her eyes broke his heart. He sighed and sat on the edge of her bed.

Want to eat, bug ? He asked. I made your favorite pancakes. 

Ok, she said, still frowning. 

You’re mad at me, huh ? 

She nodded as she started eating. He sighed, not sure what he could say. His wife giving him the silent treatment when she was mad at him wasn’t enjoyable, but having your five year-old do it was a nightmare. 

I’m really sorry, he said. 

Will you come to the next year’s ? She asked. 

I… uh… maybe, he said. 

Obviously, this wasn’t the desired answer. She stared at him with her big blue eyes, as if she was giving him an opportunity to correct his answers. He scratched his throat and realized that it was probably time to have a talk about him possibly having to miss some events. 

Look, bug, I might not be able to make it to next year’s recital if it’s a big event, he explained. 

Why ? She asked. You don’t want to see me on the stage ? 

No, no, it’s not that, baby, he said reassuringly. I always want to see you on stage. No one is more proud of you than I am. I want to show up to all of your recitals, but sometimes, there’s a lot of people. 

So ? 

So… You know I make music, right ? He asked. You know that’s my job, and that’s how I make money ?

Yes, she said. In the studio. With the big words I can’t say. 

That’s right, he nodded. Well… A lot of people listen to my music. 

They do ? She asked with a raised eyebrow. 

The side-eye almost made him chuckle. With his level of fame, it would be easy for him to get big-headed but, thankfully, having children usually did a great job in keeping you humble. Rap God or not, his kids usually weren’t too impressed. It had taken years for his eldest to start showing an interest in his music, and Lily was no different. 

They do, he nodded. I’m sort of… famous. So a lot of people know me. You know, the places where we usually go, a lot of people wave and say hi ? 

Yes, she said. 

They’re not my friends, he said. They know me from my music. 

Ok, she said, still not seeing what he was getting at. 

Usually, people are very nice to me, and it’s not a big deal, but if I turn up at a big event, a lot of people might come and talk to me. Like… A lot of people, he explained. And if I show up to one of your big events where the press is, people are going to take pictures and if they see you with me, they might start bugging you. 

Really ? She asked. 

Yes. And, as your Dad, it’s my job to be there for you, but a most important part of the job is to make sure that no one bothers you, he added. So, if you have these big events, I’m super proud of you, and I want to be there but, sometimes, I’m going to have to watch from somewhere else. I will always try to show up, and I can do it if it’s small events for school and stuff, but big events with thousands of people is a bit harder.

Oh. Ok, she said with a hint of disappointment. 

But no matter if I’m here or not, I’m always super proud of you, you know ? And I never want to make you sad, he added. 

So, it’s not that you like work more ? She asked with pleading eyes. 

Of course not, bug, he said as he stroked her cheek. Work will never be more important than you. Never. 

Ok, she said with an understanding face. 

Are you still mad at me ? He asked. 

No, she shrugged. But I’m still sad. 

Let me make it up to you, ok ? He suggested. How about we spend the day together, just the two of us ? We can do whatever you want. 

She nodded with a sly smile and, deep down, though he was relieved to see her smile, he knew he was doomed. And, indeed, she made him go through the labour of Hercules. They went to walk Winky, the corgi they got her for her fifth birthday and then, she wanted to go for some ice cream. She knew full well she wouldn’t be allowed to have it so soon after breakfast, but she reminded him that he said they could do « whatever she wanted », while making puppy eyes at him. He obliged and took her to her favorite ice cream place, at the mall. Thankfully, it was Sunday so there weren’t a lot of people around. The two security guards, dressed in regular civilian clothes so as not to attract attention, were almost unnecessary. It was one of the perks of living in Detroit : not as many people as NYC or LA, no paparazzis, not so many tourists and, mostly, people either didn’t recognize him (perks of dressing with regular, inexpensive clothes for everyday life) or treated him as part of the scenery. He knew full well that, if he had lived elsewhere, everyone would know about his marriage, him adopting Lily and his wife being pregnant. Thankfully, though, he was able to maintain a private family life and prayed that it would remain this way for as long as possible. At the mall, they saw a poster for Taylor Swift’s album and Lily was really excited. 

Daddy, when you say you’re famous… Do you mean like her ? Lily asked. 

Yes, he said. Kind of like her. A bit more. I’ve been doing this for a long time, you know ? Longer than her.

Because you’re old ? She asked. 

Older, he grimaced. 

Mommy says you’re old, she pointed out with a giggle. 

Well I’m going to have to have a talk with Mommy, he said as he rolled his eyes. 

Lily ended up dragging him to what seemed to be every single store of the mall. Ice cream shop. Build A Bear. Clothing stores. Toy stores. They finally went home after he spent an ungodly amount of money but the smile on Lily’s face was worth it. However, the day was still young and his daughter was clearly not done. Once they were home, she insisted on having a princess tea party with him and the two bears they made at the mall, so he found himself on the floor of her bedroom, drinking juice in a teacup while she applied makeup on his face. He inspected himself in the mirror. 

Are you sure that’s the exact same way you had your makeup done for your dance recital ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Yes, she nodded. Just like that. But I had whiskers because I was a mouse.

Mmmh, ok, he said as he tried to hold a chuckle. I need the whiskers then. 

When his wife came to see them, she burst out laughing as soon as she saw him. 

Are you guys having fun ? She asked with a grin. 

Time of our lives, he said sarcastically. Right Lily ? 

Yes, she said. Daddy said we can do whatever I want today. 

Is that so ? Y/N asked. Looks like Daddy should be more careful with his words. 

Aren’t I the prettiest princess in all the land ? Marshall asked. 

Yes my love, she giggled. Though I believe a princess would have a proper manicure. 

Mommy can I have your nail polish for Daddy ?! Lily suddenly exclaimed. 

I’ll bring it right away, Y/N said with an evil grin. 

I can divorce you. I have my lawyer on speed-dial, he warned - but she was already gone. 

Of course, Y/N just had to join the fun and get in on the torture. He loudly complained but, in truth, he was too happy to see the smiles on the faces of two of his favorite girls as they did his nails. 

Starting to miss Dre’s house ? Y/N asked. 

Missed you girls too much, he said. I don’t think I could get such an… artsy manicure in California. 

Do you like it, Daddy ? Lily asked proudly. 

Oh, sure, he said. I never thought my cuticles could use sparkly nail polish all over them, but I was clearly missing out. 

You’ll be so pretty for tonight, his daughter said. 

Tonight ? He asked. 

Your daughters are coming for dinner, Y/N said. I didn’t tell them you’re back, it’ll be a nice surprise. Especially if they see you like this. 

No way in hell, he chuckled. 

Not even the nails ? Lily asked with puppy eyes. But you said…

Maybe the nails can stay, he sighed. 

They spent the rest of the day as a family of three and, just when he thought he had dodged a bullet, Lily begged them to watch Frozen. Again. And just like every parent bullied by the smiles and supplication of their little one, they obliged. Y/N fell asleep on Marshall’s shoulder and Lily sang along to Let It Go while coloring his tattoos with highlighters. 

I missed you, Daddy, she said. I’m happy you’re home. 

I’m happy to be home, he said. I missed you too, bug. 

I’m having fun today, she added. 

I’m glad, he chuckled. 

In the evening, the whole family was reunited for dinner and no one missed Marshall’s elegant manicure. This brought back memories for Alaina and Hailie, who used to beg him to do his makeup. Being a girl Dad for about thirty years, he’d certainly had his fair share of tea parties and home spa sessions. He absolutely loved having daughters, though, and if that’s what it took to put a smile on their faces, he would happily endure hours of this. However, he wondered what it would be like, having boys in the house. He was absolutely positive the twins were boys - no specific reason, just a gut feeling. Originally, Y/N and him had agreed not to find out the gender before the birth, but he wasn’t too sure how he could be expected to wait for about seven more months. And he couldn’t wait to hit the twelve week mark either, because keeping the pregnancy a secret from the rest of the family was a nightmare. He was just so excited to be a Dad again and he was so proud that the love of his life was carrying his children. She was already a splendid Mom for Lily and he knew it would be the same for the twins. The conversation shifted and someone pronounced the word « delusional ». 

What’s that word ? Lily asked. 

Delusional ? Hailie said. When someone’s delusional, it means that they believe things that aren’t true. 

Oh ok, she said. Like what ? 

Like believing in San- Stevie began. 

Like Stevie believing she’s getting that new car if she doesn’t pay attention, Marshall scolded with a smile - not wanting Lily to be crushed if she learned Santa wasn’t real. 

Oops, she said. 

Is Daddy  delusional then ? Lily asked. 

Wha- No ? Y/N said confused. Why would he be delusional, baby ? 

Because he thinks he’s more famous than Taylor Swift, Lily explained. 

You don’t believe me ? He asked, almost offended. 

She is really really famous you know ? his daughter explained. You, you’re just Daddy. 

Everyone chuckled and stared lovingly at Lily. They all knew how important it was to Marshall that she be shielded from his fame, also because he didn’t want it to get to her head that her Dad was famous. He kissed the top of her head and smiled. He was fine with the title, really. When he was at home with his children, he was just Daddy, and that was more than fine with him. There was nothing more upsetting to him than Eminem getting in the way of his family life. So he was really fine with her not getting the level of things for now, hoping that he wouldn’t have to miss another event anytime soon. 

When it was time to put Lily to bed, he went with her downstairs to tuck her in and read her a bedtime story. 

Time to sleep, now, baby, he said. Good night. 

I had fun today, Daddy, she said softly. And thank you for the flowers. 

Am I forgiven ? He asked with a smile. 

Yes, she said. 

I love you, you know ? He said softly. And, as much as possible, I promise I will not let work get in the way. I always do my best, you know ? Whether it’s for you, Hailie, Lainey, Stevie or the babies…

What babies ? She asked. 

He stared at her with a hint of panic, internally facepalming himself. Oops. 

Do you know how to keep secrets, baby ? 

[thetrexartist]

OK that's it I'm making a post about this-

To all those who think the thirteenth doctor is not a good doctor i have some points I want to say to counter.

I'll get this out if the way first if any of yall try to put down Jodie- get the fuck off of my post and account. She did the best with what she got.

Moving on, the few episodes I see people talking about as proof of her being bad are the spydoc p2, kerblam, and Rosa parks episodes.

Now don't get me wrong I definitely see why people get upset at these episodes.

Let's start with the spydoc episode, the doctor left the master, who is a person of color with the Nazi's. HE WAS THE ONE TO SIDE WITH THEM IN THE FIRST POINT. some of yall are acting like this isn't the MASTER, out of anyone you should know he would have taken something like this into account.

He was literally playing with fire, even the doctor mentioned how he doesn't usually hang around that type of crowd. In her defense she was also in a actual time crunch as well. she does not under estimate the master and had to get things rolling.

Kerblam episode.

In this specific circumstance the system WAS NOT THE PROBLEM. Someone was actively ABUSEING THE SYSTEM. In that matter it honestly was not the problem, hell it was even the thing to send out and ask for help.

twelfth doctor was the doctor to point out how bad capitalism is: " that human progress is measured by the value placed on a life, especially an unimportant or unprivileged life". The system in question was reaching out for help because it valued the lives that were being killed in its warehouse.

Sure its a kick in the gut because the villain is a image of gen z. Especially with the job market for the younger generation. but truthfully i'm from this generation and? we are so fucking mean at sometimes.

I have seen my teachers quit their jobs because of us, we are human we are fallible. In that episode a younger person was abusing the system. It happens today as well.

Rosa Parks.

For a lot of people this is a sensitive episode/topic. So i wont go to far into detail as i'm not the absolute best person.

The doctor did not put down rosa parks, she was even in awe about Rosa. But the episode is literally about how someone was trying to change history. So they had to stage the exact circumstances that got Rosa parks arrested. its even shown to be emotional and honestly? i teared up at the scene because it hurts to watch someone be discriminated against. But it had to be done.

I thought about this while rewatching thin ice. The doctor punched that racist because the guy was unimportant in the long run. He was able to punch him- and rightfully so imo. But with Rosa the timeline was at stake, so the doctor couldn't do anything like that but was able to recognize how wrong everything that was going on was.

one things all of these have in common are the politics behind them for us. Is our real world system corrupt? Most definitely i will not say that it isn't as that is ignorant. We have a real problem with racism in our world that i hope will one day not be as big of a problem.

But isn't that what doctor who is about? Politics and showing sides to our society and making us ask questions. That's what makes doctor who one of the greatest shows personally.

Anyways, this is all rushed. But i just wanted to say my piece and please, if anyone sees this and wants to talk about it. even if you don't agree with me. reblog or reply, i want to see all sides. I'm getting really pissed at people who will not even attempt to see the other side, even if you share my views^

[aching-tummies]

Hunger RP-Starter

Hunger RP-Scenario Starter inspired by recent events. Been stressed to the nines lately and went to bed last night with my stomach finally feeling pure 'hunger' rather than hunger mixed with a dash of upset somewhere. It growled quite a few times for me at that point--wish I had a partner to enjoy them with. It was too late to bother hunting down something to eat--and eating at 2AM would have likely caused an upset that I didn't want to deal with. Woke up about six hours later to more hunger pangs and more growls. While the hunger pangs were intense, it felt really, really, really nice to not have any trace of upset anywhere in my guts. Felt 'clean' and 'light' if that makes any sense.

You hurry to the couch, still-steaming bowl of popcorn in-hand and a cold drink in the other. Less than an hour ago, you were at work, counting down the minutes before you could trade your work-pants for PJs and just chill out over a movie.

Finally--date night. Considering the cost of actually going out, the two of us opted for an at-home movie night. Streaming exists as well as the countless DVDs and other formats we've each collected over the years.

As you get settled, we start the movie. I've claimed the far right side of the couch, curled over on my side of the couch. Shockingly, I've turned toward the armrest rather than toward the middle of the couch. Closed-off posture. Seems a bit odd to you, but you're hoping that I'll unwind a bit as the movie gets underway and 'date night' vibes start to hit or something. Until then, you've got a warm bowl of popcorn to warm your lap in place of me.

"Babe--want some?" You ask, nudging the bowl toward me.

"Pass. Sorry--I love the way you make it and all…but I don't really wanna pick kernels outta my teeth tonight." I explain, curling up on my side of the couch and nudging the bowl back at you.

About ten minutes into the movie, you pick up on a sound and pause the movie. I curse under my breath, having hoped that this action movie would have enough explosions and fight scenes to drown out any noises made here on the couch.

"Babe? What's going on? You okay?" You ask with a frown.

"Fine--Fine!" I stammer. A loud growl from my stomach interrupts my statement--a clear cry that the tank is empty. I blush at the sound, curling defensively against the arm-rest yet again.

"So…you're…hungry? Wasn't the plan to eat dinner separately? If you'd said something, I coulda picked up something for you on the way home--I was at McD's anyway." You suggest.

"N-No…i-it's not that." I stutter, causing a frown to replace your features. If I don't come clean with an explanation soon, it'll probably ruin date night.

I palm at my belly with a sigh. "I…My stomach's been really nasty the last few weeks. Stress and whatever. Been kinda…uhm…messed up and icky the last week or so. Y'know…s-stuff not digesting properly or quickly, guts tied in knots…that kind of thing." I begin, you nod, waiting for me to continue. "I just…t-today's the first day in a week and a half where my guts feel 'normal'. No residual sludge just sitting somewhere, no awkward cramps or twinges anywhere. No sickly, sticky bloated feeling anywhere. Nah…it just…feels like it's finally cleaned house and…w-while I am hungry…I just…I don't wanna rush into putting something in it. Kinda just wanna enjoy feeling cleaned out in case it acts up again with the next meal."

My stomach snarls angrily throughout my explanation, clearly hungry.

"S-Sorry…I-I know you really like this movie. I can take a nap or something in the bedroom if you wanna watch the movie in piece." I suggest, moving to get up.

What do you do? Pull me onto your lap? Come with to the bedroom to advance 'date night' activities? You gonna respect my desire to leave my guts empty? Is the replacement entertainment for tonight gonna be my very, very vocal tummy? You decide. Send me your best responses.

[tunamayuuu]

“i actually stopped being into bsd for a full ass year and ever since that shin soukoku doodle i made, it comforted a big part of me that felt horrible everytime i'd post bsd onto socmed knowing my more passionate works didn't get as much engagement as shitposts ahaha...”

• Oh yeah I remember you mentioning that somewhere and tbh I get that it happened to me too but with Kny (⁠〒ω〒) It's unfair, and upsetting, the engagement rate on most art posts–that aren't either skk nor a meme–in this fandom, but I'm glad you're getting more love, because you deserve all of it with your work!! You put a lot of care into it and your hard work bears fruit to beautiful art! I can't really blame the people for wanting some relief from the depressive canon through memes and shitposts, but I also can't deny that it does sting.

“the kny-ified bsd au was and still is an au project i want to keep working on!! i have a looong list of the full cast, it's just that i always get side quests and wanting to draw OTHER things and getting into OTHER new medias i wanna draw and yeah that's why it's taken years for me to complete anything orz (i have plenty of files of the au that i never posted because they're all unfinished or uncolored and i thought i won't do my au justice if none of them were colored yk?)”

• I felt that on a spiritual level istg ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ It's understandable, and imo drawing for a different fandom is a good change of pace and helps avoid burnout since drawing the same fandom all the time could get tiresome, even if you would generally find it fun. (I get it, and I honestly admire your dedication to give the best you have for your works, so take your time with your projects, I know you're working hard and I think I speak for a lot of us when I say we'll never rush you to have anything finished and posted right away.)

“i'm not an inokana fan myself but i'd love to hear your take on them! i just wanted to draw kyokenji at that time ehehei will always say that rengokunikida was def not my idea. it was an idea from a bsd friend! they even explained to me how it could work and i never looked back”

• My take on inokana: They complement each other in many ways. Inosuke is very loud, and Kanao is very quiet, but they've both seen each other in the rare state where they're not. I feel like Inosuke could bring out a little immaturity in Kanao and that she could teach Inosuke a fraction of patience. Inosuke definitely has some form of appreciation for her skills and capabilities, and he'd definitely hold her in high regard in his own mountain king way. I don't know why, but a gut feeling tells me they'd agree on a lot of things for completely different reasons, and I suppose she'd humour him when he wants to go exploring in the forests because why not? Personal hc: they would've stayed by each other's side during recovery where Kanao would tell Inosuke more about Shinobu, and would also tell him the occult stories Shinobu always used to tell while Kanae covered her ears. Anyways yeah I care about them a lot. The bsd friend that suggested rengokunikida is a genius because it's so fitting. The immaculate coincidence of both of them getting impaled in the stomach by an immortal being WHILE SMILING AND LOOKING AT PEACE is too perfect.

“i'm actually not sure who would take murata's role in the au because we know next to nothing about canon tecchou. michizou already takes sabito's role so.....? ALSO I FINALLY GOT TO ANSWER THIS BECAUSE! fukuchi is not urokodaki in this au! fukuchi takes kokushibo's role”

• we'll probably get backstory in the next few chapters when he melts so we'll possibly get an option for murata in the next two months. KOKUSHIBO FUKUCHI??? I'M INSANE OVER THISAAAAAJDJDBD???

“jouno and fukuchi unfortunately do not interact in this au.. i'm so happy to see my au still getting love even after the years i've been on and off in activity! comments like these fill me with so much motivation to upkeep this au!”

• oh well, we can't have it all. I'm glad!! I will keep supporting and I'm excited for what's to come !!!

-anon called Grace

grace we have GOT to stop this yap contest (huge slash joking, i love these thank you)

"the engagement rate on most art posts–that aren't either skk nor a meme"

literally my most popular post on this account is STILL the soukoku memes i made back in 2021. which i'm grateful for! yet at the same time, it's a little ironic i guess because i'm not crazy about soukoku or fukumori anymore :(

"but I'm glad you're getting more love, because you deserve all of it with your work"

i am super grateful for the followers that have stuck with me throughout the years!! (yes i can recognize some of you in my notes haha) and i was honestly really comforted when i saw love for my traditional work in the reblogs and asks.. it genuinely healed a huge insecurity i had about my art...

"drawing for a different fandom is a good change of pace and helps avoid burnout since drawing the same fandom all the time could get tiresome, even if you would generally find it fun"

i have a friend who's crazy abt one pairing in their account and they've kept it up for probably more than half a decade now? i just realized along the way that i can't be like that... i literally joined the community wanting to be a ranpoe acct but ahaha... i get interested in too many things...

"I think I speak for a lot of us when I say we'll never rush you to have anything finished and posted right away"

uuu i've read this sentiment so many times on my account, and i'm always grateful... it brings me so much joy to see love for an au that's basically 2 years old now...

"They complement each other in many ways. Inosuke is very loud, and Kanao is very quiet, but they've both seen each other in the rare state where they're not. I feel like Inosuke could bring out a little immaturity in Kanao and that she could teach Inosuke a fraction of patience."

stop this. you're convincing me. you can't do this to me i'm already attached to too many pairings in kny PLEASE /j but fr though, this is such a sweet interpretation of their relationship! personally, i still see them as more platonic, or even queerplatonic if they're more committed to each other specifically... but that's just because i think inosuke being aroace would be silly...

"The bsd friend that suggested rengokunikida is a genius because it's so fitting. The immaculate coincidence of both of them getting impaled in the stomach by an immortal being WHILE SMILING AND LOOKING AT PEACE is too perfect."

what's crazy to me is the fact that my friend made that comparison two years ago. we never would have known kunikida would've been a donut too......

"KOKUSHIBO FUKUCHI??? I'M INSANE OVER THISAAAAAJDJDBD???"

fantastic! because i think fukuzawa and fukuchi would make for amazing tsukiguni twins

super happy to hear from you again, grace!

[feline-evil]

I think a large part of why i'm so enamoured with and empathetic towards inanimate objects ESPECIALLY robots stems from one very specific experience as a kid.

So i have a science museum in a town a little ways away from where i live, it's not very big but it's an interesting one- way more hands on and active than other museums i'd been to as a child. They have a 'build a bridge and earthquake test it' table, they have a 'we put footage of the Takoma narrows bridge on a tv you can rewind and fast forward and speed up or slow down' table. For some reason. Thats not important for this story, um, ok. Ok so they also have this one big exhibit. This giant plexiglass enclosure housing two robot arms used for building cars, one a riveter and one a painter arm.

When you approach them they wave at you, they dance, and then they'll demonstrate their job; simulating the delicate, precise motions they make to make a car, gliding effortlessly through a routine they've done a million times over. And then they dance again, and wave at you, pointing their robot heads like real heads, like animals, like they're looking at you. I, as a kid, was lonely- i can admit that- so it's hardly surprising that something in my tiny tiny brain latched onto the fact these huge machines had just danced for me and waved at me like they were happy to see me. Something clicked in me and pretty soon i was asking to go back to this museum constantly to go see them, these machines made for manual labour were real creatures to me, animals who were so happy and friendly that i wanted to hang out with them and play with them- i wanted IN that plexiglass, but of course toddlers cannot go into cages with heavy machinery because unbeknownst to a small child that will result in them getting mulched. But i came back time and time again over years and years and years, always predominantly to see these mechanical arms, fascinated with them in the same way i was fascinated with dinosaurs and dragons, wanting to be their friend so so bad.

And then one day they weren't there!

Their exhibit had been replaced, vanished, instead there was a big x ray exhibit that let you see inside the mechanisms of various things instead. And as an adult this is no big deal, exhibits rotate, things break and new knowledge is given through newer things. But as a kid this was harrowing. This was like i was a kid in a movie and my fantastical unicorn i'd bonded with had just been sent to the glue factory, i was Distraught. They killed my robot friends!!! As you can imagine this was hell for every adult around me to handle, because what the fuck do you do to reassure this kid, this isn't a situation they prepare you for- they don't write 'what to do when your kid gets obsessively attached to a piece of machinery' in child care books! So anyway i spent the rest of that day glaring in deep rage and upset at x rays of machines, feeling like i was looking at the splayed guts of my fallen comrades, and then vowing to never go back there again.

A vow that i broke because listen. That Takoma narrows table called my name when i was ten i won't even lie to you. AND they had a full miniature diorama of a town you could flood? Museums are good folks.

[justafriendofxanders]

enjoying your leverageposting!! question for fun if you want: do you have any headcanons about hardison?

hi thanks so much! i'm glad my descent into madness is bringing some enjoyment to people. 😄 this isn't so much a list of headcanons as it is one i've been thinking about a lot involving hardison running a game of dnd -- he chooses 5e (assuming some timeline wibblyness) not because it's the simplest system out there, but because he figures it's the most accessible given the cultural baggage around it. it's not that the others aren't smart enough to figure it out (they definitely are), but they're a little intimidated by the various handouts hardison has printed out and put into individual binder sleeves. eliot (jokingly) gives him a hard time about not wanting to dress up as an elf and do "nerd shit." hardison picks up on everyone's reticence and goes, "well if this is too complicated we can do a different system," and then stays up all night gutting and retooling the entire game and making premade character sheets and a presentation explaining how to play, but then something more important comes up and nate's gotta pull the plug on their scheduled game night. hardison gets actually bummed about it and they can tell because he insists "it's cool" and is not actively bringing it up except to occasionally give them sad puppy-dog eyes from the corner.

anyways the team make it up to him one night when he comes home and they're all sitting around the table wearing silly costumes. a couple of them have brought dice; eliot's the only one with a d20 and is arguing with nate who's brought, like, craps dice ("it's a very distinctive rolling system"), except hardison's reworked it into some 3d6 system so technically nate has the right ones. (no one can tell if nate actually knew this all along or just got lucky.) sophie's like, "oh i have six-sided dice!" except everyone knows they're loaded and she's not allowed to get them. also every single one of them is a control freak who gets upset when their rolls don't go well ("a BABY could pick that lock"). after a while, parker starts consistently rolling very well, and no one can prove that she's manipulating the dice but also no one can prove that she's NOT manipulating them.

hardison also makes premade characters for everyone based on what he anticipates their playstyles will be:

parker's a cool thief that can only do three things (sneak, steal, and stab) but does them very well

nate's a shifty used car salesman of a bard that tries to talk his way through every situation

sophie's a beautiful actress that everyone recognizes and adores. tries to seduce her way out of the situations nate gets them in.

eliot is squeaky the gnome. he grumbles about it until combat rolls around and everyone learns squeaky is built to kick absolute ass.

[segretecose]

black sails rite of passage: right now, what do you imagine happened to Flint in the black sails finale? it's something that can change from one day to the next even for the same viewer - and it's a rather pointless exercise because obviously the actual finale IS the ambiguity, and not either one of the options (and that's what makes it the perfect finale for the series.)

but anyway, it's tradition to give a subjective guess. I first wanted Flint to be alive but then my gut feeling didn't allow it to be true in my mind, so if someone asks right about now I'd say I personally feel like Silver killed him there. and you?

there were 0.3 seconds in which i believed silver's version of events as he was recounting them but there's no way captain james flint walked out of that island on his own legs. he's fucking dead and silver fucking killed him and then lied about it so he could live with it. i'm actively choosing this option because it's the least upsetting to me personally at the moment. there's also a third option in my mind which makes me want to throw up so i'm not going to type it out

[rasairui]

It is so fucking exhausting seeing how misogyny is just completely accepted in supposedly progressive LGBT+ spaces again and again like I don't know how all of you are so STUPIDD like we literally cannot have the very basic conversation of "hey why do you treat women as objects with no depth both in fiction and real life" without a bunch of you morons going "Uhm this is MISANDRY" or "haha I'm gay so I don't HAVE to care about women" as if the average straight cis man DOES care?? You are not subverting expectations or being revolutionary by treating women like secondary accessories you are in fact fulfilling standard conservative expectations. Literally the most basic of feminist sentiments gets an insane amount of misogynistic pushback by people who call themselves progressive, and yeah we make fun of it but it's genuinely gut-churning to see GBT+ men, who not only should know better but often actively claim to do so, treat trans women and wlw like utter shit over and over and over and any time someone gets upset it's usually some variation of "actually let me do whatever I want or YOU'RE the bigot" you people are barely two steps away from talking like a reddit MRA and I'm convinced you'd start the "not all men" shit again if it didn't already have a reputation. My fucking god. Putting a flimsy faux-progressive veneer over your conservative rhetoric doesn't stop it from being conservative rhetoric. Either put in the effort to stop being a stupid cunt or stop pretending you had any real values to begin with.

Anyway. Feminist website my ass you guys can barely even handle hearing that women are interesting lmao

[thedragonchilde]

Ship meme spam continued

1. Who most initiates PDA?

If the moment is otherwise right, Domon is likely to go for it with little notice or regard for things like being in public! (Don't get me wrong, he can get flustered, especially in the beginning, but "is this a socially appropriate time and place" does not factor into it for him.)

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to?

Aside from Domon waking up at the crack of dawn out of habit?

3. Hot and Steamy or Soft and Tender?

You might assume exclusively the former, and you'd be surprised

4. How did they first meet?

With a goddamn sucker punch, that's how

5. What is their love language?

They're both pretty heavy on physical touch, as one might guess. Chibodee also responds shockingly well to words of affirmation

6. When did they realize they loved each other?

In retrospect, Chibodee will cop to having had a crush since Guyana, though the gals will tell you he was fixated from the first match. But in love? That came with a heartsick sort of gut punch as he found himself hoping that Domon and Rain worked things out even though it hurt to watch, because seeing Domon so upset over her hurt so much worse. Very bittersweet "I want my beloved to be happy".

Domon realizes much later, and more or less all at once. It's a small moment that sets it off, but one that gives him the fleeting thought "I'd be happy to have someone like this by my side", which turns into "...I already do, right here" → "not in that way" → "maybe in that way??" From there the epiphany hits like lightning and he almost can't process it.

7. Who is more sentimental?

Might have to give this to Domon "Manly Tears" Kasshu

8. What’s one way their personalities complement one another?

Okay so "complement" implies not similar traits, but rather different traits that fit together. In that case, I'd say the way their attitudes are sort of the inverse of each other: Domon is serious and melancholy, but deep down is trusting and wants to believe the best of people, where Chibodee keeps things light and devil-may-care, but he's a little more world-weary, a little more easily discouraged. In that way they work as a grounding balance for each other.

9. How are their personalities different?

I mean, Domon's kind of an introvert, isn't he? Or at least easily overstimulated by the pressures of socializing. Whereas in the other corner we've got Chibodee "Social Butterfly" Crockett who almost seems uneasy when alone for very long. There's also an understated city mouse/country mouse thing going on.

10. What are some non-sexual activities they do together?

The obvious would be sparring and other sports, but also like… sometimes they just chat. Chibodee's a talker anyway, Domon is still relearning how to socialize with peers, and there are some cool experiences to share between them.

On that note, hiking. If Domon hadn't already been into nature, he sure is now.

11. Which member is more physically affectionate?

Chibodee moreso at first, and even then not a whole lot because Domon starts out awkward and tsundere. Once he's more comfortable, they're pretty evenly matched! (Mind you, this does depend on the type of physical affection. Hugs and hand-holding come more naturally, where kisses are more loaded even when they're less physical contact.)

12. Which member is more verbally affectionate?

Chibodee's a talker, and this is no exception, but dare I say Domon goes for quality over quantity ;)

13. Which member steals borrows the other one's clothing?

Not sure about actually wearing each other's stuff, but I can see a potentially mutual "our stuff got mixed up and I have your x so I'm just gonna,,, hang onto it while we're apart"

14. Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

Oh my god Domon would ninja-disappear from a party so fast

15. Who is more likely to make an impulsive decision and who is the voice of reason?

They both have their moments, and "voice of reason" is overstating things, but goddamn if Chibodee doesn't go off half-cocked sometimes

16. Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?

No dragging here; Domon just shrugs and goes "You're gonna regret it"

17. Who fell in love first?

…bruh.

18. What song fits them perfectly?

Song? I've got a whole playlist!

19. How do they deal with being away from each other for a long time?

There's plenty to keep them busy, but they can certainly go harder (maybe too hard) on the training to blow off stress. Of course they do what they can to keep in contact, and uhhhh they do attempt video/cybersex. It's a hot mess. Honestly, someone should capitalize on the precepts of the Mobile Trace system to enable long-distance physical contact, it would be revolutionary.

20. Who holds a grudge the longest?

Domon is never living down the way they met, just saying.

21. Which of the two is quick to speak and which one is quick to listen?

They both have to work on listening, or specifically when to listen. Given that they both have a bad habit of shutting themselves down when they should be reaching out, the opening is not always obvious.

22. Who gets more easily embarrassed?

Tricky, but probably Chibodee, being a little more conscious of his image. He's certainly the one who reacts more strongly to embarrassment, anyway.

23. Who overthinks the most?

They both vacillate between "overthink/don't think at all" at times, but this one goes to broody Domon by a long shot

24. Which of the two is the most competitive?

Not only are they both competitive, they actively bring that side out in each other!

25. Who’s the most stubborn?

Oh, now this one's hard!

26. How do they comfort each other?

This is one of those instances where physical touch is very important, just tangibly knowing they're not alone. Letting the other vent (whether physically or verbally) too. Encouraging words are usually called for, even if they're clumsy.

27. What random everyday object/activity makes them think of each other?

Sunrise is definitely associated with Domon. Hearts too. Chibodee is stars and neon lights and bourbon.

28. Do they get along with each other’s friends and family?

Well, I mean, they share a friend group! As far as family, Chibodee is trying his damnedest to get Dr Kasshu to like him, and Domon… well, the gals already know him, but that doesn't mean they won't give him the shovel talk all the same.

29. What is their sex life like?

As I've said before, very intense and a little spiritual, thanks in part to Shuffle Alliance empathy, and “communicating with your fists��� translating to other physicality. Their sessions tend to be loud and long (not to say that there are never wham-bam rounds), and you'd be forgiven for finding them half-dressed and out of breath and not knowing whether they'd just banged or sparred.

30. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.)

Chibodee absolutely kisses Domon's scars, just putting that out there right now. On the other side, don't think Domon hasn't realized the reaction he gets when he goes for the jaw

31. What’s the relationship like? Smooth? Rocky?

You're not gonna get the smoothest sailing with such a high-energy dynamic, but even when it's hard they're ride or die

32. How do they resolve their arguments?

By separating and cooling off, for starters. It really depends on how serious the argument.

33. Who has the most nightmares and how do they deal with them?

They're both prone, I think, though as Chibodee's been getting them most of his life he's more or less prepared when Domon wakes up screaming - hands off until the fight-or-flight wears off, then grounding touch, low voice, cold water, and let him cry it out.

34. Do they give each other nicknames?

Well, 'King of Hearts' could certainly take on a flirty tone–

35. What movies do they enjoy watching most?

Here's where I make the joke about how their son gets his name from the Rocky movies

36. How’d they meet each other’s families?

I mean, that's basically in canon

[avelera]

Looking at your rant on the Crowley-Lucifer theory as a Jewish person myself who actually majored in World Religions- I one hundred percent agree with everything you said. It was nonsensical from the start and I'm glad Neil ran it into the ground. Even without the S1 line stating that Lucifer was not Crowley, Gaiman knows his religion and mythology. Definitely knows it better than the majority of GO fans do. And you didn't come across as antisemitic or ignorant to me at all, idk what that other person was on about.

Thank you! Seriously, this is a huge relief. I know I shouldn’t get this angry about it but I have vast respect for Jewish people and the Jewish tradition and so being accused out of the blue of ignoring or diminishing Jewish people or Jewish thought is incredibly upsetting to me.

I personally am not a Christian (if anything, I’d consider myself a Hellenistic pagan, or an atheist if called upon by those I didn’t want to talk about that faith with) however I was raised in the Catholic tradition albeit unwillingly pretty much from the start. I’m informed on Catholic Christianity from that context, but I feel no connection to it or protectiveness of it (indeed, I welcome future iterations of GO absolutely tearing into Christian dogma, I think it’s hilarious and fertile ground for satire). I also took several courses on religion in college, both on the Christian and Jewish tradition. I don’t claim this makes me an expert by any standard but I am at least educated beyond a casual understanding of these faiths, I would like to think.

Anyway, it’s actually my gut feeling that a pivot from a context where Christ is the explicit son of god in GO to one where the Jewish tradition was actively called upon and needed to understand the text would be absolutely fraught with potential to give offense to the Jewish faith. It’s one reason I think GO stays far away from invoking the Jewish tradition, specifically out of respect.

GO takes place in a fantasy world where the Antichrist is real. To say the Jewish tradition is active would imply it’s only accurate to a point and then it becomes inaccurate because it would mean that Jewish people were wrong about Jesus being the Messiah, ie it means that in that universe Jewish beliefs are wrong and then superseded by the objective existence of Christ as the son of god and the events of the Second Coming, which is an incredibly offensive thing to say and ground that is incredibly fraught with echoes of arguments from the history (and present!) of Christian bigotry towards Judaism. It’s not disrespectful, in my opinion, to separate out the Jewish tradition from the discussions of GO lore, quite the contrary, to borrow from Jewish and Christian tradition while giving Christian dogma and its Messiah preeminence within the story as objective fact would be far far more offensive, and I personally think Neil understands that.

[ghostpaynes]

Please someone dm me if I'm over stepping I'm prefacing this with I'm white so I don't know its really my place to say

But that plantation controversy that is going around idk if it's well known here. The cosplayers who went to nola and took pictures with a movie accurate Louis? Horrific I feel gutted even though I know it doesn't effect me.

What we shouldn't do is be racist while being upset. I don't really want to say specifics as I don't want people to harass them even though what they did was awful I just want us to do it in a way that calls them out while not being actively racist because I saw one comment about it that kinda was

Anyways psa to do your research and when people tell you you're doing something wrong and it's a culture you're not a part of listen to them respectfully please.

[armslikeanchors]

my first meal today is breakfast cereal at 1:00pm

im looking at this picture and reflecting after a short text convo with my best friend after 3 days of silence on her side

she’s pictured here

took this photo when i went on a solo trip to oakland california to visit her for a couple days, im surprised my mom let me take the plane by myself

i actually really love the airport and plane trips. it was my first time going by myself and it was a bit daunting but, i really love being alone sometimes

it felt natural, i felt grown, in a good way

anyways i took this photo while on a walk with her and her mom at a botanical garden-park in san fran, if i remember correctly

3 months after this we would have a falling out over something miniscule, which we overcame a bit over a month ago this year; i’ll get into it in a bit

sam, my best friend, and i had been inseparable since the day we met in 2nd grade

by the end of the school year she moved back to california, but we kept in contact: playing minecraft on our ps3s while on a skype call

simple times

every year we would meet up maybe once or twice for a day or two since then

in october of 2023 she got upset at me over a text i sent her regarding a festival we wanted to go to

i told her that i had a couple friends going to the festival and that i hope she wouldnt mind if i was really invested in spending time with them, since i had never hung out with them before

it was never meant in the way she took it, but the damage was done

i guess she felt i wouldnt make her feel included

which i wish she knew wasn’t true

she can be dramatic at times. growing up together shes always been like that and, in a way, i admired it because it was silly. it was raw, and she would apologize and own up to any little thing she did.

i dont tell her or her mom often but, ive truly always believed that her mom really raised her well. ive always supported sam through everything and i know she’ll make the life she dreams of

anyway to the reflecting:

i texted her i believe early august (i tried looking for the message but they wont load)

and apologized that what i said came off as rude but that it wasnt intended to be that way

she apologized too for taking it the wrong way and we admitted to each other that things have been hard and that our friendship-breakup had been eating away at us since then

the whole time i believed she was over me and didnt care, as i fall victim to overthinking and drawing conclusions (though i have learnt since then that things arent always worst-case scenario)

she visited me in august and we spent a day together (sleepover, junk food, movies and all) and we caught each other up on everything that had happened since october in the mall food court

i was annoyingly loud about things since i get heated over certain topics but, in the moment, i didnt care if i made a fool of myself in front of everyone there because i was just glad to have my best friend back

cut to today and ive realized that since our hangout, she hasnt been talking to me much. i get it though because shes starting college and met the sweetest boy, and im proud of her

im just afraid that we’ve grown too different.

its one of those cliche moments where one friend gets in a relationship and does things in life and the other one is sitting, waiting for a text back

it feels kind of pathetic but im trying not to let it get to me

i dont know,

the day we hung out was really nice but i get this gut feeling with people thats nearly always, unfortunately, true

in which

we’ve grown so different it seems they’re not the same person anymore

i dont know if shes truly my best friend anymore, yknow

shes made several friends since our falling out, friends that she does activities her and i would do when we got to meet up

even trips together like we did !! which is really cool !

anyway, ill love her forever but, the distance was so long and the taste of it all was so bitter i dont know if theres hope for recover anymore

i tell my friends: losing someone in your life makes space for people you never knew could make life feel worth living

maybe that’s what’s happening

the scary part is that only time will tell

but thats okay, here i am

[navree]

Are you still working on that velaryons team green fic? if yes can you talk more about it please it sounds really intresting

I've got an idea of it in my head, haven't done much to put pen to paper because I've got a bunch of other fic drafts that I want to get out (I'm legit so close to being done with my "Rhaenyra doesn't react to B&C like a dumbass" fic, and I want to get my MAWS Slade/Addie fic and my TMA season 5 au fic out into the world sometime this year too, plus I do have a Dance au that I'm far more actively plotting out, it's just between Daemon and Rhaenyra rather than Aegon and Rhaenyra, where fun fact the Velaryons are on Daemon's side). But I've definitely thought about it, and plotted some stuff out tentatively.

Basically, this is all based on the fact that, as I've mentioned in other posts, the show has given me no reason to believe that the Velaryons should want to side with Rhaenyra, any of them. Corlys should be feel antagonistic to Viserys and whatever his final wishes may be because of the constant disrespect he has been shown by Viserys specifically. Rhaena shouldn't be on board with anything Daemon is on board with because he's been a profoundly shit father to her. Baela, as someone who grew up on Driftmark watching it be ruled by a woman, should not be on board being no more than someone's consort (especially when she doesn't know him because she spent the first ten years of her life in Pentos and then the ten years after that warded at Driftmark, she shouldn't know any of the Strongs or Rhaenyra at all) and losing a throne that should have gone to her own mother to someone she doesn't know either. Rhaenys especially shouldn't be on Team Black in the show, because she spends the entire show hating Rhaenyra's guts, first for just being the heir (OK girl) and then for seemingly cuckolding her son and later, in her view, straight up murdering him, to say nothing of the antipathy she feels for Daemon as a person and specifically in keeping Laena away from her for the last ten years of her life. None of these people should be willing to follow Rhaenyra (and to a lesser extent, Daemon) down the fucking road, much less in a war. This is an inter-familial succession crisis, who the family members choose to side with comes down largely to personal preference, and based on what the show wrote, the preferences of the Velaryons should lean far away from Team Black. Like, I'm supposed to believe that Rhaenys does a complete 180 on how she's been characterized for the last twenty five years of the show's timeline because Rhaenyra managed to avoid singlehandedly starting World War Westeros in the twelve hours since she'd been crowned? Be serious.

So basically, the AU of the Velaryons being Team Green rests on the premise that the show would allow the Velaryons to be, like, upset at the constant disrespect they've been shown by the key players of Team Black. Corlys is upset at how Viserys has treated him, Rhaena is upset at Daemon for how he treated her, Baela has a stronger connection to her maternal side and Driftmark as a result, Rhaenys is consistently characterized and thus consistently upset at how Daemon and Rhaenyra affected her children, both of whom she's outlived. So during the Driftmark inheritance debacle in ep 8, Rhaenys does not magically come to Rhaenyra's aid after hating on her the entire episode, but instead keeps out of it and is neutral, as does Baela herself. And when episode nine rolls around, Rhaenys is much more amenable to Alicent's proposal. One, because Alicent saying "let us direct things behind the scenes since we're smarter even if we can't have institutional power because of the gender roles of our society" is the exact same thing Rhaenys has done her entire marriage (we legit see this in episode 5 and it's the entire basis of her power anyway). Two, because Rhaenys is, again, consistent, so she's against Rhaenyra having power, though largely for personal, petty reasons, though she does have legit concerns over having unrepentant murderers on the throne, since Rhaenyra and Daemon letting people believe they committed Laenor-cide unprompted just to satisfy themselves should have, like, consequences and people should fear what they're capable of as they said, thus not wanting them on the throne. Three, because Rhaenys and Alicent in this AU would have a pre-existing working relationship. Rhaenys has essentially been ruling over Driftmark ever since Corlys left ten years ago, while Alicent has simultaneously been the acting queen of Westeros as Viserys has grown more infirm. They've had to communicate with each other, as rulers, during that time, and be able to do so cordially and effectively in order to do right by the people living on Driftmark, who are under both of their purviews as liege lady and queen. So when Alicent gives this proposal, bolstered with her sincerity about how queens need to count the cost to their people when it comes to conflict, Rhaenys takes her at her word, and does decide to stay in King's Landing and lend legitimacy to Aegon. She stands with him on the dais, and she takes charge in sending negotiations to Rhaenyra to get her to capitulate without causing bloodshed, and she also leverages this for her own power.

One thing Rhaenys is adamant about in this AU is the same thing she's adamant about in episode 7: that the Driftwood Throne should pass to her granddaughters, not Rhaenyra's sons. So she uses the promise of her support to get the Greens to agree to that, that they will proclaim that, given the obvious bastardy of Rhaenyra's boys, the true heir to Driftmark is Baela. And Baela, who has gone back to Driftmark in the meantime, is on board with this. Again, Baela spent the last ten years there, watching Rhaenys rule. She has seen how a woman can be a ruling liege, and she has also seen Rhaenys treat with Alicent on occasion and how those two have operated as rulers themselves. And Driftmark is her connection to her mother, a mother she mourns and spent too little time with, a mother she can't even talk about with to her father because her father immediately remarried and treated his first wife and their children as if they didn't even exist. She doesn't know Rhaenyra, she doesn't know Jace, but she does know Driftmark, and Rhaenys, and even Alicent a bit. So she's fully on board with Rhaenys essentially kinda blackmailing the Greens into supporting her claim to Driftmark. And the Greens are on board with it because it gives them a PR boost. Now, they can say that they're not just disrespecting Viserys's wishes and being "sexist" for the Hell of it; they're trying to prevent a succession crisis by not allowing a woman whose heir is a clear bastard to ascend the throne and cause chaos in the realm. Look, they're fine allowing a woman to rule Driftmark, but she has trueborn Velaryon blood, even if it is descended through the mother (and this in turn vindicates Rhaenys even more, since it's lowkey a repudiation of what Jaehaerys essentially did with the Great Council, saying that not only could women not inherit but that men could not inherit through their female relatives, denying both Rhaenys and Laenor the Iron Throne). Rhaena, meanwhile, is conflicted. She has spent time on Dragonstone, she does know Rhaenyra and she does know Luke, though there's never been any formal betrothal. But she also knows and loves Baela as her sister, and she has legit issues with Daemon that have only grown and kind of left her standoffish towards her half-brothers and Rhaenyra as well. She's not sure what side she falls on, and she doesn't even know what power she really has because she doesn't even have a dragon. Corlys meanwhile I haven't given much thought to, since he's not that interesting to me, but I'm sure if I ever actually tried to write this I'd figure something out for him.

One knock-on effect of this, for the broader teams, is that it obviously gives the Greens a boost, since the Velaryons being on their side means that they get the fleet, something also important considering that Rhaenyra is on an island and desperately needs sea power as well as other kinds of power. And it makes Rhaenyra and Daemon a lot more militant, since they're now firmly disadvantaged. They're gonna be far more reliant on dragons, and far more willing to use them, and there likely would be a dragon battle involving Meleys, though not ending the way Rook's Rest did since Sunfyre and Vhagar would be on her side, not against her. I'm unsure as to whether I would have Rhaenys die in this version too, but I know at least Baela and Rhaena would live, and Baela would end up lady of Driftmark (and likely also the Greens firmly win with fewer casualties since this is my AU and I like the Greens). Luke also probably wouldn't die, since Storm's End might be less necessary now than it was in canon, and also Rhaenys would be the one to go to Storm's End to deal with the Baratheons since she is, in fact, part Baratheon through her mother, rather than sending Aemond, thus there's no chance for him to get mad and for his and Luke's dragons to then act out as a result.

Also, I haven't read it, but I saw it in the bookmarks of someone who'd left a kudos on my fic about Alicent and Viserys's engagement period, but I think this is also a bit along the lines of "Velaryons join the Greens rather than Team Black", if that idea interests you and you don't want to wait ten million years to see if I write something for it or not.