#my gf is not confused abt what she wants to do + i am not using romantic relationships as a career progression device + i do in fact have

[faaun]

i feel conflicted abt my relationship...need advice etc . in tags . pls i need input sm

[wandagcre]

What do you think abt Sam (non g!p) has the first time with her gf and she cums first (and gets very embarrassed afterwards, cuz she didn't even need to be touched for that!)

first time | sam carpenter 🔞

(Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader)

Sam never understood the clichés of firsts, until you – the only one that mattered.

WARNING: make out session, fingering, first time - set in Scream universe | 18+ men & minors dni. Words: 1.1k Note: the softest smut i have written yet ahh enjoy! <3

"Fuck," Sam gasped, breathless as you were. "You feel- it's blowing my mind..." she tilts her head and slips in her tongue.

A small smile escaped your lips, knowing how the woman couldn't compose her words properly at your intense make out sessions as this. you let her in, finding her eagerness adorable. The soft rubs of your thumb on her nape only reeled Sam further to your touch. She takes off your top and the hunger in her motion made you arch your neck.

You slow down a little and Sam is tad confused but it doesn't stop her. Her own lips chased yours as you pull away and it didn't faze Sam, who continued caressing her hands onto your bare torso.

You and Sam had barely left one another enough for your lips to become numbed with the well-known dance that has been going on for minutes now. Her eyelids fluttering as she's wrapped in a dazed sensation – the rustling of your limbs against each other and touching and seeing you – has left the entirety of Sam scorching hot.

"Baby, baby," you moan in muted tone. The pit of fire in Sam’s stomach continues to burn, although she finally looks at you in concern.

"Are you okay? we can stop anytime,"

The tenderness is palpable on her doe eyes. You can't resist but run a finger softly on those hooded eyelids.

"Funny how i was going to ask you the same thing. You beat me to it," you say with a crooked smile. Your hands loosely wrapped around her waist and somehow, Sam’s body reacted too enthusiastically, and it made her hips buck onto your front. "Someone's excited."

"I can't help it, you know that too well, querida..."

"And I can definitely attest to that." An inevitable grin breaks out of Sam’s pretty face. It's so easy with you. "I’m all in, baby."

"I am, too. all in. I love you," Sam murmured as if she was in a daydream, stroking your cheek.

Sam drinks the appearance that beholds her. Your skin so soft and delectable, that she failed to keep her hands off you. The creases in your face with your gentle smile. Your soul that welcomed her without a hint of prejudice; paired with your eyes that relayed nothing but acceptance and love.

How Sam got lucky with you is lost on her.

Sam pulled you in once again, the softness gritting into a deplore of conviction; wanting to express how much you mean to her – cheesily enough, you are her world now.

Unfortunately, it also meant she had grown ridiculously damp. a stretch of her lower limb would make it seep much worse. She feels the electric coursing through her veins, prickling soundly onto her sensitive areas. She feels bare and vulnerable in all forms, you didn't even have to touch her that much for her to come undone.

It was mind blowing how Sam haven't thirsted this much to her previous partners before. Even with your limbs intertwined and skins grazing upon another, it simply wasn't enough. Sam is constantly chasing for more.

"I want to have you first," you breathed softly on Sam’s ears to her surprise, making her temperature rise even more. "Please, let go for me, Sammy. I promise to take care of you."

You look at her with glossy eyes, filled with devotion. How can Sam ever say no to you?

She nods with no reluctance to your glee. Oh god, this is happening. Sam feels your fingertips along her abdomen, touch so incandescent, that it made her muscles contract, as it makes its way further down to your goal.

When the heel of your palm laid on her lower stomach, fingers stretching in to go underneath her underwear, Sam felt herself vividly ooze a palpable amount of wetness that made her heave out of breath – thigh muscles spasming that she can barely move.

She rasped a moan as she laid her forehead on your shoulder.

"Are you okay, Sammy?" your eyes went wide in concern.

She weakly laughed. "Yeah, yes. Shit i think– this is unreal. I just came. I surely just felt it," she retracts her hold around you to cover her face in embarrassment. "Now I feel ridiculous. that- that wasn't supposed to happen,"

You looked at Sam bewildered at the news she had dropped.

"Baby, no, no. look at me," you shook her by the shoulder gently and cradled her face. "That's nothing to be shy of. If anything, I’m happy to make something as sex not only pleasurable by means of aggressive throes of lust, but comfortably mind-blowing to you."

It took a while for your words to sink in for Sam. She bit her lip, nodding in agreement. Sam looks at you straight in the eye. All she saw was comfort. Safety. Love. All of which resounded strongly when it comes to you. Slowly, the feel of embarrassment ebb out of her system.

This wasn’t a quick fuck, nor a casual thing. You weren’t cheeky and condescending as the other men she had encountered.

Sam felt like she mattered for once – as though she wasn’t a meat or a conquest.

The thought wasn’t lost on you as Sam looked at you in wonder and it breaks your heart. You decide to grasp her hand and place gentle kisses on her knuckles. The same hands that have gone through unimaginable violence, yet it’s gentle and slightly trembling in your hold.

"Thank you, mi querida."

The kissing resumed as your fingers also continued making its way to the depths of Sam’s crevice. The pad of your fingers that she ushered for you to rub harder had sent her on the edge. The soft gasps of excitement and pleasure, Sam couldn't take it.

Every touch had her entirety reeling, as though you had her absolved all her sins. Nothing else mattered.

"Listen to me, you're doing great. You look... beautiful."

Albeit it came rarely, Sam was somewhat desensitized to praises. But yours were raw and innocent. Sam feels her heart thumping louder than ever.

"Always a charmer,"

From there, she cants her pelvis closer to you, rocking her hips to the newfound rhythm – riding your fingers. All Sam can think about was your name. She met your thrusts and each time, you never failed to give her praise. I love you, I love you, I love you -- you confess, akin to worshipping a deity. The open mouthed kisses on her sternum and chest that you spread all over her, has made Sam's head spin. You simply understood how vulnerable and hard it was for the woman to let go. Sam swore she felt heaven – it made her surrender all her strength completely under your touch. She has never known a safer place as yours.

Wet enough she was, and this time both of you couldn't hold back your smiles, complemented by neediness, as you make love for the first time.

do not repost/translate on other sites. © wandagcre

[crazykitsch]

heyy babe! just had a thought abt marc and reader being in the same friend group and they have a friends with benefits thing going and at a party some guy is flirting with her and he gets jealous and there’s an angsty confession🫣

Marc Guiu : killin’ me good

pairing: marc guiu x reader

warnings: none(?) apart from my terrible writing

❝I think of you more than I should, I die when you give me that look. You’re killin’ me, killin’ me good.❞

Recently my .. friend I guess? Well, Marc has been gaining quite a lot of attention from the media. What nobody knows though, is that me and him kind of have a thing going on. I mean we’re definitely not official, it’s more a friends with benefits kind of thing.

It started with one kiss, and then one more came and more and more and we kind of started acting like a couple when no one’s around but then again also not?? Really confusing, I know.

One big thing about being friends with benefits is obviously to not catch feelings. Failed. Can you blame me though? He’s fine, tall, sweet and I can go on for an hour. I don’t think he likes me like that though, im not really a special girl or anything to be honest.

~

GROUPCHAT: la masia 💙❤️ + y/n & liz😒

lamain hoe:

are we still all going to mateo’s party tonight ??

pau cubarsi:

depends if youre all going

liz gf mwah 💋:

im going if y/n’s going 🤷‍♀️

hector 👎:

same thing for marc

y/n:

im coming for liz ❤️❤️

liz gf mwah 💋:

love you bae

marc 🫶:

hi

hector next time i see you i’ll hit you and drag you to the ground

but yes im coming too

lamain hoe:

didnt need to know all that but okay! i’ll see all of you then ig ??

~

PRIVATE CHAT: liz gf mwah 💋 & y/n bae 🎀

y/n bae 🎀:

kill me 🙏🙏🙏🙏

liz gf mwah 💋:

oh

no hi

no good evening

but alright!

want me to get you a therapist?

y/n bae 🎀:

my life is too complicated for a therapist to handle

friends with benefits is the dumbest thing i’ve ever done oh my god how did i fall for him

liz gf mwah 💋:

OOOOOOOOOH

YOU LIKE MARC?!??!?,?

y/n bae 🎀

STOP.

i dont know what to do ☹️

and that party tonight ????should i talk to other guys??? or is that weird???? and would he want to talk to other girls????

i guess theres only one solution: moving to a another country 🎀💌🩷🦢

liz gf mwah 💋:

i mean if you want to talk to other guys you should do it, you could try to get over him if thats what you want

and if you move to another country pls take me with you 🙏

y/n bae 🎀:

thank you queen you’re so wise

~

I’m getting ready for tonight while listening to some music. I can’t stop thinking about marc though.. but I guess that’s a problem for in an hour.

Okay i’m finally ready and hear the bell ring, I look out of my window and see Liz. I run downstairs and open the door. ‘Hi future mrs Guiu!’ she says teasingly, ‘Liz oh my god shut up.’ I reply. I mean not that I wouldn’t like it.. but still.

‘Are you ready to go y/n?’ ‘Yes Liz’ I say and we start walking to the party. Luckily Mateo only lives like 7 minutes away from us. As we enter his house we see Lamine and Hector and greet them. We talk for a bit but then I really needed to go to the bathroom. ‘I’ll be back in a few minutes, bye!’ I say.

I’ve been at Mateo’s house a few time so luckily I know where the bathroom is.

After i’m done I wanted to walk back to where my friends were but then a guy walked up to me. He’s quite tall and attractive.. but nothing next to Marc though.

‘Hey pretty girl.’ he says.. oh my god what do I say!?!?? ‘Hey, i’ve never seen you before’ I reply. I suck at talking to guys oh my god. ‘I’ve never seen such pretty girls in Barcelona either’ ‘Oh really? There are a lot.’ I say, my god y/n am I trying to introduce him to other girls or something?? ‘Hmm I highly doubt it.’ he says and I notice he’s standing closer to me now.

I smile as we hold eye contact but then I look to my left.. from all the people I could see right now I see Marc. Marc Guiu. This world is plotting against me.

I see him looking kind of annoyed? But at the same time upset and mad. What do I do? Do I go after a guy that’s technically just a friend or do I stay here talking to a guy thats actually interested in me? The first option.

‘Sorry.. i’ll be back!’ I say to the guy who’s name I didn’t even get. I walk towards where Marc was walking and see he’s with our friend group.

‘Hi..’ I say. ‘You took long, thought you were making out with someone for a minute’ Liz says and I can see Marc getting more annoyed.. ‘Wouldn’t be surprised at this point.’ Lamine says jokingly and I reply ‘Don’t be mad at me because you cant pull Lamine.’

‘I’m going home, you coming with me Hector?’ Marc says all of a sudden. ‘Oh yeah sure.’ Hector replies. ‘Oh.. ehm, bye Marc.’ I say but he ignores me, maybe he just didn’t hear me.. but then again when the rest of the group says bye he does say something, odd.

A few hours later the party is done and me and Liz walk home. ‘Liz? After I went to the bathroom a guy walked up to me.. we started talking and he seemed interested.’ I say. ‘Oh my god really? Im so happy for you!’ ‘Thank you, don’t think Marc is happy for me though. He saw us and didn’t look too excited for me.. and when we both were back to our friendgroup he also looked annoyed and ignored me.’ I say. ‘You know what that means right y/n?? He likes you.’ You see, I really love Liz.. but sometimes she IS delusional because there’s no way.

The next day I wake up and luckily it’s still weekend. I open my phone and decide to text Marc since we were supposed to hang out today.

~

PRIVATE CHAT: marc 🫶 & y/n 😺

y/n 😺:

hi marc

are we still hanging out today ?

marc 🫶:

dont know

wouldnt u prefer to hang out with that ugly, shrek looking guy?

y/n 😺:

wdym?

is that why you didnt talk to me at all yesterday?

please reply ☹️

~

Fuck. He’s leaving me on opened. Now a smart woman would take this as a sign to leave him alone and move on. Yet I am not that intelligent so I decide to text Hector.

~

PRIVATE CHAT: hector 👎 & y/n 🦭

y/n 🦭:

hiiiii bff!

hector 👎:

since when

y/n 🦭:

since now.

look you and marc are besties right

and you love me right😁

hector 👎:

no

y/n 🦭:

oh

well ..

would you be so kind to tell me why marc is so upset with me all of a sudden

hector 👎:

not saying marc said anything to me, but imagine if a guy you really liked started flirting with other girls all of a sudden 🤷‍♀️

y/n 🦭:

OH

~

What do you mean Marc likes me? What the fuck should I do now??? Okay you know, fuck it i guess i’ll just go to his house.

Ten minutes later i’m walking to his house and think about what I should say to him. Before I know it i’m there and knock on the door. ‘Okay girl, you got this.’ I say to myself.

His mom opens the door, okay atleast it’s not Marc. ‘Hi y/n! Marc is in his room.’ she says, ‘Hi, thank you’ I say as I walk in. ‘He seems a bit upset.. maybe you can cheer him up?’ his mom says. ‘Yeah I noticed, i’ll try.’ I say and I walk to his bedroom. Okay girl you got this just knock on his door and tell him how you feel.

I knock on his door and walk in ‘H- Hi Marc..’ I say, god why do I do these things to myself. ‘Hm? What do you want?’ he says. ‘Uhm.. I..’ I say, I can’t find the words to tell him how I feel. ‘Continue.’ he says. Okay this is my chance, don’t fuck up. ‘Look, long story short.. I do not want to be friends with benefits, as a matter of fact I.. I do not want to be friends at all. I like you. As in more than a friend and more than a friend with benefits way.’ I say and only now I realize what I just said. I hope he really does feel the same.

Marc is silent for a minute and right when i’m about to freak out he says ‘I like you too. I don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore either.’

‘Then.. lets not be.’ I say. ‘Y/n, will you let me be your boyfriend?’ He asks and that question sounds unreal to me. I never really expected Marc to ask me that. I reply ‘Yes, i’d love that Marc.’

I smile at him and hug him, he grabs my waist. ‘Were you jealous? back at that party?’ I ask him, ‘How could you tell?’ he says while laughing like it wasn’t obvious. ‘You’re not the best at hiding your emotions.’ I say. ‘Can’t help it when someone flirts with you, don’t like it when you give other guys attention.’ he says. I laugh and say ‘I won’t from now on.’

His mother walks towards the stairs and shouts ‘Y/n? Are you staying for dinner tonight?’ I smile, look at Marc and say ‘Yes i’d love to!’

A/n: Hellaurrrr pookies,, im a bit slow I apologize but im trying my best to work on all requests!! Hope you like it 😜🫶

[mymelodymia]

Accidentally coming out as a lesbian to your brother, Mike // Mike Schmidt x sister!reader

**not a ship**

Summary: your afraid to come out to your big brother, Mike

Warnings: fear to come out, crying,

A/N: idk, I just wanted to write abt lesbians 🤷‍♀️

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

You and Mike always had the best relationship. Especially when it came to caring for one another, you both loved each other more then life, and you felt as though you could go to him for anything.

But, you had soon developed a secret, and kept it from him, scared for his reaction.

You had liked a girl for a while now. This girl, was none other then your best friend, gf/n.

You had learned that she liked you too not to long ago. You had agreed to go out with her that evening, but what you did, maayyy have put your plans on pause.

Mike had asked you what you were gonna do this weekend, he was very obviously just lonely and wanted time with his little sister. "So, what are you doing this weekend?" He asked looking up at you from the table he was sitting at.

"I got a date with the girl i like." You gasped and covered your mouth, staring at him. He looked at you in confusion, which you misunderstood as him being upset or angry.

You ran to your room as fast as you could, locking the door behind you. You picked up the phone to call gf/n and inform her that you might have to cancel for a few days.

Once you did that, you hung up and slid down the wall, now sitting on the floor with your hands over your head, you began crying. Which turned into sobbing.

You tried to be quiet with it, but sadly, Mike heard every sob that fell from your mouth. Secretly sitting by your door.

You stayed in there the rest of the night. The next morning, he knocked on your door, you groaned while turning over. You soon realized that it was Mike who was at your door.

You quickly sat up, you stared at the door for a while, before he knocked again "y/n, get dressed. We gotta talk." and walked away.

You were very scared and nervous. You put on the first thing you saw, which was jeans and one of his hoodies that you had stole.

You walked out to see him sitting at the table, fidgeting with a pen. You took a deep breath and sat down across from him.

You eventually looked up at him, he was just looking deep into your chocolate brown eyes, for some reason, for the first time ever, you felt small under his stare.

"Y/n.." you hummed in response, feeling tears come to your eyes. "I-im not mad....i just wanna know, why didn't you tell me?"

"Cause..." you whimpered out, he gripped your hand. "Cause why, you thought id be mad?" He asked and you nodded,

"You and me have always been so close, y/n, baby, did you really think id stop loving and caring for you just because you like girls?" You let out a small sob, Mike didn't immediately go into comfort mode just yet, he wasn't finished.

"Y/n, i love you more then anything, and nothing, nothing could ever change that. I promise you that no matter what happens i will always be here for you. And i will never stop loving you. Always and forever."

You let it all out after that. You leaned into him. You snuggled into his chest, staining his white tee with your tears.

"But i am gonna need my sweatshirt back." He said playing with the loose fabric. You giggled at him, "never."

You went on your date that night, and Mike approved of gf/n, obviously.

+•°+*°•+

Tags

None :(((

[soobinsfavfuck]

baking cookies w yunjin<33

: fem!reader + light swearing

“ so do you want to do oatmeal or chocolate chip? “

“ CHOCOLATE CHIP CHOCOLATE CHIP !! “ yunjin giggled at how excited you were abt the cookies, but what can you say chocolate chip cookies are DELICIOUS‼️

“ do you have the eggs ? ‘ yes ’ the butter ? ‘ mmhm ’ the bowel ? ‘ right here ’ the milk ? ‘ ofc ’ the mixer ? ‘ yep ’ k all set !! ”

you poured the mix into the bowel while your gf melted the butter “ yunjin how much milk am I supposed to put in this ? ”

“ ummm just abt 1 cup ” you forgot the cap to the milk jug was already opened and : “ SHIT ” you yelped bcs of the cold milk spilling all over your lap

“ oh my gosh ” yunjin rushed to you quickly grabbing one of the white towels that were on the counter in case something like THIS were to happen. She gave you one of the towels so the both of you could attempt to get rid of the milk. “ damnit !! i just bought these leggings 😪 ”

“ dw you left that white skirt with the little cherries on them last time you came, you can change into that ” she patted your head softy as to reassure you

“ what happened ?? ” chaewon entered the kitchen with a confused look on her face

“ yn spilled the milk all over herself while we were TRYING to make cookies ” she playfully glared at you causing you to role your eyes dramatically “ LISTEN. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE STUPID CAP WASNT ON ?? ” you sassily yelled back while taking the now covered in milk apron off

“ umm idk maybe by looking🤦‍♀️ ” she said in a very sarcastic tone chaewon just laughed at the two of you’s adorable bickering while she poured the remaining cup of milk into the bowel and started mixing

moments later -

as soon as u entered the kitchen in a totally new aesthetic outfit, white crop top, the skirt, a white beanie and thigh high white socks you hear both of the girlies taking deep sarcastic sighs “ FINALLY , thought my gf had disappeared ” she mocked rolling her eyes

“ we actually already finished the cookies while you were having a fashion show ” chae joined into the BULLYING. “ y’all just mad bcs I’m in a better outfit🙄 ”

“ yah yah whatever taste the cookies ” yunjin offered the tray of freshly made chocolate cookies that smelt so fucking AMAZING “ OMGGGG THEIR DELICIOUS MOUTH WATERING FR ” they tasted oh so so sweet you wished you could eat them all up right now “ ik right , yunjin the best cook🤭”chae’s comment making yunjin flip her hair proudly at her achievement

“ I THINK NOT ” sakura entered the kitchen glaring at the three of you causing you n chae to giggle meanwhile yunjin took offense to that glaring back at the oldest

“ COOKIES?? LEMME TASTE LEMME TASTE ” the youngest came running into the kitchen stealing the tray of cookies “ HEY ?!?? not the whole tray ” you snickered stealing the tray back only giving her one cookie in return.

<33

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi :) I’ve seen you give other people advice and I was wondering if you could help me out w/ this. so like two weeks ago my now ex gf messaged me and told me she was breaking up w me because she likes a guy. (we are both girls btw) im an out lesbian but she has never explicitly talked about what she identifies as. she had also broken up with me 3 months before this bc she thought her parents were gonna find out ab us (they r very homophobic) but anyways after she texted me that she asked if we could still be friends. (before we got tg me and all her sisters were very close childhood friends.) i told her i didnt want to be her friend and she started getting really upset and begging me to be her friend. this pissed me off bc she didnt even try to understand why i wouldn’t want to immediately be besties w her and was acting like she did nothing to hurt me. i started cussing her out and then her sister texted me and said i was being dramatic. but anyway now she is telling everyone her best friend left her just because she likes guys, and i’ve blocked her and her sisters on everything. but i need an unbiased person to tell me if im in the wrong bc i guess i cant hate her just for being confused abt her identity. i was just wondering if you think i should apologize. (im sorry this is so long 😭)

Hi!

I definitely understand why you would need some space after a breakup. It's completely natural to not be able to jump right into friendship after! It's also okay to never want to be friends- it could be that you're too hurt to want that. The only thing you might need to apologize for is cussing her out. But honestly, if reaching out and apologizing for that would just cause more issues and confusion, I would just continue reinforcing the boundary you've set by blocking her. You have a right to take space and you don't HAVE to be friends with anyone!

(Also I am naming all the anons who write to me in case they want to write in the future, and I am using a random positive affirmation generator to do so. So I dub thee: joyous anon. Enjoy your free tag!)

[xamaxenta]

Just juiced a pomegranate, I'm about to go Zagreus mode. >:3c

You know I never knew what a pomegranate even was until i went to the US of the A where my roommate brought some home one time when drunk and she was sloshed, her boyfriend had driven her home and apparently she really wanted to eat pomegranates

I was halfway smashed myself back in the dorms and shes like XAM DO YOU KNOW HOW TO OPEN A POMEGRANATE????

And im lying on the ground with all my crisis’ on the floor around me (all the pencils never again never again) like a what now? And she shows me this shit like ??????????? What do you want me to do with this?

As per everyone’s student kitchens no one knows how to sharpen a knife so im watching her hack away at this thing with a blunt knife

And im extremely confused bc its H A RD? Thwack thwack thwack ??? Shes getting nowhere with it so I suggest crushing it with something but we are both weak little bitches and i assume this thing was unripe so it didnt yield

So we try another one and idk where she got these pomegranates from but it was the least worth it fruit I’ve ever had the pleasure of eating at the end of all the effort I’d sobered up so i spend half an hour painstakingly shaving this thing down until i could open it up and we both came to the conclusion that it sucked ass

My gf comes home and she sees us passed out in the kitchen with bits of pomegranate everywhere LMAO (roomie went to town on one with a rolling pin)

But xam why didnt you google how to cut open a pomegranate?

Genuinely, didnt think abt it at the time

It was also three am and then i fell asleep and missed my midterm review LMAJSND

[madzenhaisof]

Wow okay I actually thought I be away from here longer but there’s some important stuff I need to talk about to get my emotions about it together. Also real short talking about my emotions this week has been crazy I saw inside out 2 by myself which I needed because it’s something special to me cause what it did for me when I saw the first one. Anyways I’m here to talk abt sex and relationships and what I want. Okay first thing first I always say I don’t have a type but I’m not sure if that’s true anymore. I know enough types of women now that I think I have an idea. It doesn’t really matter abt the type of girl cause. I kinda feel like I’ll date almost anyone. But just like who they are at their core. They have to be nice, but also strong and fierce, and then also freaky like they have to like sex as much as me, then sarcastic or funny, extroverted, but also smart and have strong opinions, and of course independent. Ok I think that’s the main stuff now race I always. Say I want whatever but I’m kinda confused. I don’t want to marry a white women because I just can’t see me being a black guy with one and there’s a lot to think abt like they won’t understand different things I’ll have to deal with their fam and they get ugly af when they old. But I do find them attractive and I would fuck em, then there’s Asian women that everyone think I’m obsessed with like I do want one but then I feel like they don’t see my ppl the right way and they are all really picky type shit and I won’t be. Able to understand their culture they can’t understand mine but they are so hot I just can’t to try one for like one time just to see, then there’s Latina women who I think are basically black for real but there is things abt them I don’t like. But they may be the ethnicity that I’m most ok with interracial marrying. So no real problem there for real. Then there’s the middle easterns who I think of kinda like Indian women who I am for someone reason obsessed with. They also dark like black ppl so I don’t care too much other than like culture stuff. But then there’s black woken who I use to feel forced to want since I’m black but recently I haven’t felt that way anymore I actually really wouldn’t mind finding one to marry because I just love black ppl so much for real. Okay now for sex I feel like I don’t know what I actually want when it comes to this. I feel like being a virgin at 27 I have zero experience and I want to have it just to get some becuz the older I get I’m wasting my youth with it and also when I find a girl I want to be experienced for her to know what I like. But I also wouldn’t mind losing it to the love of my life. But I don’t want to wait to find that because I’m too old. So it’s like whatever comes to me first type shit, Now that brings to me do I want to relationship or just sex and I always say both like whatever I get first but I don’t know if there’s more to it like do I really just want to have sex with just anyone. Because I don’t feel like that’s me cause I could just try to fuck an ugly girl and get it over with, but I don’t want to and think it’s against my morals, but if I go with a pretty girl just for sex it’s the same thing but it’s just the girl is more my type. But it’s literally the same so I can’t really think like that. So it brings me to am I even actually a hoe type of person. Cause I still don’t want to have a crazy high number but I also feel weird if I get a gf and she’s the only person I fall in love and never be with anyone else like that’s not a bad thing like I don’t believe that but for some reason the thought of it bothers me because I think to much abt the future and eternity. So maybe what I want right now is just to try to have sex and find what I actually want because if do it with just one person I can see where I go from there cause I don’t care if I lose it to someone whose not my true love cause I could always break up or divorce that person anyways so I gotta stop thinking so hard. So just have sex and if it turns into something I’m happy if it doesn’t I have experience

[faaun]

update on gf situation btw . for those who r curious or sent asks etc

[v1ci0us]

bro i am SO excited u do not understand, abt to watch the movie after this fic

It was actually the one thing she wanted the least. Catching feelings for someone only opens up more opportunities for her to get hurt.

honestly so real

"What's wrong, Carpenter?" The guy in the mask said in a mocking tone, his friend joining in on the laughter, "thought I was your sister?"

about to throw hands, ain’t nobody treat my girl like that 🙅‍♀️

Sam still had a confused frown on her features but she took the hand offered to her anyway, while Mindy leaned closer to Tara so she could whisper; "always knew you had good taste," before both of them walked again.

AHAHAHA YA frfr always good taste when it comes to me 💆‍♀️

You held her back, glancing down as your fingers intertwined with hers. Tara observed the way your lashes kissed the corner of your cheeks; you were all golden softness and spring warmth, presence rivaling the one of a welcoming sun on a cold day. Tara wanted to memorize that, keep it in her heart as if it was the first and last time she'd be seeing you.

there is literally no way to describe how majestic ur writing is, giving u the award of best romance author frfr 

"No, it's not," Tara forced out, her voice tight with a sudden rawness. She turned her back to Mindy so the girl wouldn't see her crying, "there was another attack… Anika didn't make it.”

oh damn what?? did mindy js lose her gf??

She looked up, any words she'd been saying dying on her lips when she saw you. For a beat, it seemed as if she was assessing if you were real or not, before she was all but running towards you.

ugh the way everything js stops when they see eachother is so perfect likee peak romance i am not joking how do u do it?? nobody knows ur js 2 good 

You only squeezed her tighter, pulling back just enough to land a kiss on her temple. And you allowed your lips to linger, to feel her skin against you and her heartbeat pressed to your own.

Tara melted in your hold, allowing you to support most of her weight. With her cheek pressed to your collarbone, she spoke; "you still owe me a date.”

mxkfnendwbc tara is literally sooo.. making my head dizzy always and the trust she puts in us?? like honestly we’re js meant 2 b nothing cna tear us apart. the fact that we’re safe for her is just an amazing notion 

i always love love love ur work and this is not an exception, my whole life revolves around ur writing it is THAT good. ur most definitely my favorite author , no way to describe it but ur writing is everything i need. settles a desire inside of me  

you're all I want love to be

Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: Tara is still afraid to allow people close, to allow herself to trust again. Until she finds someone who makes it easier.

A/N: The idea for this was also given to me by my dear @iamnicodemus. Hope y'all like it. Tara, I love u. <3

Masterlist

Tara never meant for it to happen.

It was actually the one thing she wanted the least. Catching feelings for someone only opens up more opportunities for her to get hurt.

And yet it happened so easily, so subtly, that she only realized it when the damage was already done.

She found you on her first day at the university. When she was admittedly very lost; backpack hanging from one shoulder, fifteen minutes late for her class, and walking in the opposite direction of it. You were the only person she'd bumped into when going past Blackmore's cafeteria, and after a bit of an internal pep talk, Tara walked up to you.

And if kindness could be a person, it would be you. Instead of just taking her to class, you gave Tara a simple tour of the university, promising to be around if she ever needed anything else.

Tara started noticing you on every corner of the campus after that. She didn't take you up on your offer though, choosing instead to keep her distance. Still, you always had a smile reserved for her at times you'd catch her staring. That didn't change when the rumors about her and Sam started, if anything, you became more approachable than before.

But it was only after an unfortunate incident, that Tara actually started hanging out with you;

October had started four days ago, and with it, the Halloween season. Parties were already being scheduled every other weekend and sometimes on weekdays as well.

Tara was walking towards her class, her head in the clouds while she thought about what costume she would wear if she were to go to one of those parties.

She was usually one to be early for class now that she had her paths memorized, preferring the calmness of the minutes before everyone started rushing to arrive on time.

So she wasn't exactly expecting what happened next.

As Tara rounded a corner, she was surprised to come face to face with two other students; one of them adorning a black hoodie and a cheap Ghostface mask. The 'boo' that left his lips was as childish as it could be, but the abruptness of the encounter got Tara stumbling on her own feet as she took several steps back, eyes wide and her body momentarily entering fight or flight mode.

"What's wrong, Carpenter?" The guy in the mask said in a mocking tone, his friend joining in on the laughter, "thought I was your sister?"

Tara's voice was tangled up in her throat, she couldn't remember if she packed her inhaler this morning, or was it her taser that she forgot?

If unkind memories weren't flashing behind her eyes, Tara would have recognized the two idiots in front of her; the boys who came here to do anything but study, taking getting on people's nerves as a hobby.

It was only when the back of their heads was hit — quite forcefully — with a book, that they stopped laughing. The cheap mask fell to the ground with the hit, gaining a crack on its edge.

"Don't you guys have anything better to do?" You came from behind them, tucking the book back in your backpack, "fuck off before I tell the director what you've been doing out in the parking lot when you think no one's watching."

With a few complaints under their breath, they eventually walked away, allowing Tara to let out the breath she'd been holding.

"Morons," you huffed, tugging on the straps of your backpack before turning around to Tara, your gaze softening immediately, "you okay?"

Her dark eyes found yours. She simply nodded, feeling her lower lip quivering when she tried to speak. She noticed the way your hand twitched to reach out to her but you stopped yourself midway, instead tucking both hands in your pockets.

"I'm sorry about them," you told her with the usual gentleness you never lacked, "they should know better than to do that."

Tara shook her head softly, managing a smile when her heartbeat started to settle, "thank you for… stepping in."

You just shrugged, your smile coming as a copy of hers, and it got Tara wondering if it could hold the same sentiment too.

"Anytime," you told her then, and Tara hardly left your side after it.

It was easy to fall into the routine of having you near and pretending she was just a normal girl with a crush on her friend. Being with you was so easy that it made Tara forget about all the bad, forget about all the reasons why allowing people close became dangerous.

And today? Today should be a good day, it's a day Tara has been looking forward to, a day that took away her sleep for all the good reasons. And it's not like she never stopped to get coffee with you on the way to campus, but today felt different because you had asked her to, as a date.

And Tara had been counting the seconds for it; until Ghostface came back and nearly killed her and Sam at that grocery store, until Mindy said 'never trust the love interest', until her worst nightmares came back again and suddenly nothing was easy anymore.

"Alright guys, as much as I love discussing possible suspects with you," Chad pushed himself off the bench he'd been sitting on, "we've still got classes to go to, come on Ethan." The two boys gathered their things and walked away, Quinn soon following behind.

Tara slumped back in her seat, her hands coming up to cover her eyes. With her sight momentarily gone, it felt like everything else was louder, heavier; she could perfectly hear the rustling of leaves from the trees around, the cacophony of voices from all the other students hanging out outside, and feel the weight of Sam's gaze on her.

"I think someone's looking for you, lovergirl," Mindy said out of nowhere, kicking Tara's sneaker with her own. When Tara glanced up at her friend with a frown, all Mindy did was tilt her head towards the university, where you had just walked out from and were now making your way to them.

"Don't think I haven't noticed," Mindy teased with a sing-song voice and a grin plastered on her lips.

"Noticed what?" Sam sat up straighter, her gaze shifting from Tara to Mindy.

"Tara's girlfr-"

"Nothing," Tara interrupted quickly, getting up so she could land a gentle punch to Mindy's shoulder, "nothing to notice," she said again, pointedly.

"Alright, let's go, Sam," Mindy extended a hand for the older girl, "we'll meet back at the dorm later."

Sam still had a confused frown on her features but she took the hand offered to her anyway, while Mindy leaned closer to Tara so she could whisper; "always knew you had good taste," before both of them walked again.

Tara's cheeks went aflame as she let out a groan, predicting the onslaught of questions she'd get later today. She slowly turned around to meet you in the middle, her soul naturally filling with incessant butterflies.

Had she really been that unsubtle when regarding you?

"Hey," you greeted her a little breathlessly, letting go of your backpack and leaving it on the floor as you took a small extra step closer to Tara, your eyes frantically looking her over, "I was so worried when I saw what happened last night, are you-"

"I'm okay," it was instinct, but Tara didn't know if the words were true. There was something about you that always made her feel more than she wanted to, she suddenly felt like the last pieces of herself she'd been trying to hold together so hard over the last months started crumbling. Tara took hold of your hands, squeezing tightly. She didn't know who she was trying to comfort, you or herself.

You held her back, glancing down as your fingers intertwined with hers. Tara observed the way your lashes kissed the corner of your cheeks; you were all golden softness and spring warmth, presence rivaling the one of a welcoming sun on a cold day. Tara wanted to memorize that, keep it in her heart as if it was the first and last time she'd be seeing you.

It should be easy to forget and pretend, but it suddenly wasn't, because Mindy's words kept ringing inside Tara's head even if she didn't want them to be true. She felt tears steadily collecting on the bottom lid of her eyes.

"But," she closed her eyes at the unsteadiness of her own voice. More than anything, she wanted this, wanted you. But she was stuck. It felt like quicksand, pulling her further down the more she struggled to get out. "about today…"

It's like you knew her better than she knew herself sometimes, maybe for you, it still felt easy. "It's alright, Tara." Your thumb brushed over the scar on top of her hand, "we don't have to go, I understand."

Tara pursed her lips, blinking away her vulnerability. She let go of your hands only to loop her arm around yours and bring your bodies closer together, "walk me to class, though?"

—

"Come on, spill it, what's up between you two?" Mindy leaned back on the kitchen counter beside Tara, "I was joking earlier today, but now I actually think there's something there."

The carrot Tara was cutting ended up with a slice too big, she had to turn it around and cut it one more time in the middle, "I've told you, there's nothing going on," Tara told her friend with a sigh, making sure to cut smaller slices so she could keep her hands busy as long as possible; "she's my friend."

Mindy scoffed, she picked up a spoon from the sink and tasted whatever Chad was cooking up on the stove. A grimace came to her face at the lack of seasoning, "I've heard that before."

"It's not like that," Tara dropped the knife then, unsure what she was frustrated about or what she wanted to convince Mindy of, "how can I get… involved with someone after what happened?" Her voice grew quieter by the end.

Mindy softened at that, she turned to face Tara fully — everyone knew the younger Carpenter was still struggling with what she'd been through, even if she didn't want to admit it. "I know it's not easy, T. But you can't close yourself off for everyone, some people are still worth it," Mindy glanced towards the living room, a soft smile on her lips when Anika's silhouette came into view, "people aren't meant to be islands."

—

There are times when the pain is so big, that it almost doesn't feel like pain anymore. If it comes from a wound, that's usually the time when you'll pass out. If it comes from inside, you start to feel numb.

Sitting at the back of an ambulance as she watches cops walking out with another one of her friends in a dark body bag, Tara thinks she's close to that feeling. Mindy is sitting beside her, she's not moving. Tara doesn't know what to say in moments like these, they feel almost awkward. A morbid kind of awkward.

So when she gets up, cell phone in hand with your number already ringing, she blames it on that; on the pain squeezing her chest almost to the point of unbearable, on the helplessness she feels twirling in her gut.

Tara paced back and forth on the sidewalk, trying to draw out the noise of the sirens as she counted up the seconds until you picked up.

… Two, three, four.

Tara could hear her own heart rate quicken, she closed her eyes, thinking about how her inhaler was still all the way up in the apartment; where there's blood, and-

Please, pick up. Please, pick up.

"Hello?"

A long sigh of relief left Tara's lips as soon as she heard your voice through the phone. As if she hadn't cried enough, she could see tears clouding her sight.

"Tara? What happened, is everything okay?"

"No, it's not," Tara forced out, her voice tight with a sudden rawness. She turned her back to Mindy so the girl wouldn't see her crying, "there was another attack… Anika didn't make it."

"Oh god, I can't-" Tara could hear you choking on your own voice, "are you okay? Please tell me you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm-" Tears made a steady path down to Tara's chin, some getting caught under the phone pressed tightly to her cheek, "I'm alright."

"Tell me where you are, I can be there in like ten- five minutes."

"No!" Tara said with urgency, "don't come here, please, I don't want you anywhere near this," she gulped back a lump in her throat, "it's too dangerous."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be okay," Tara closed her eyes, wishing the words really were true, "I just-" she hesitated, a confession lingering on her tongue, "I just wanted to hear your voice, is all." She bit onto her lower lip until it drew blood.

"We- we can talk for as long as you need," it was like Tara could hear your smile, "I'm happy to hear your voice too."

—

Ambulance lights and police sirens were clouding your senses as you run up to the commotion. It was quite a sight; your oversized shirt, shorts, and sneakers with mismatched high socks. But you couldn't remember to care because your heart had been at your throat ever since Mindy called.

There were several reporters blocking your view but you squeezed your way through them until you reached the police tape. You've always hated this; the white and red colors of the vehicles that only showed up in tragedies, the panic and grief that lay heavy in the air, the clicks of the cameras from people who saw it as an opportunity — you hated it all, but right now the only one on your mind is Tara.

You ducked to go under the police tape, immediately attracting the attention of one of the cops, "Miss, you can't be here, please go back behind-"

"No, you don't understand," you gripped at the fabric of his jacket when he tried to keep you back, trying to push through, "I know them."

And the cop kept speaking, probably about things you weren't allowed to do and places you shouldn't be. You didn't hear any of it, because you found her. Her blue shirt had more red than blue in it, dried blood was all over the fabric, making you feel a mix between relief and nauseousness; her hair was messy, tangled, and damp in some places; her skin still coated with bits of dirt and blood too; her arm was held up by a makeshift bandage. But she was there, talking to a blonde woman on a stretcher; she was alive.

"Tara," you called quietly as your sight blurred over, and then a little louder, "Tara!"

She looked up, any words she'd been saying dying on her lips when she saw you. For a beat, it seemed as if she was assessing if you were real or not, before she was all but running towards you.

Not caring for consequences, you pushed the cop off of you and met her halfway — lucky for you he apparently noticed you really knew them.

"What are you doing here?" Tara's eyes were glinting under the red and blue lights, there were clear tracks on her cheeks where tears had run down.

"I was-" you tried, stumbling over your words as you took her in, all blood stains and bruises. You raised a hand to push back her fringe, the strands of hair were damp to the touch; from sweat or blood, you didn't want to know. "Mindy called, and scared the shit out of me. I came as fast as I could."

With her lower lip stuck between her teeth, Tara leaned into your touch. Her eyes closed tightly when your thumb traced the outline of her eyebrow.

"Are you okay? I mean of course you're not okay, what am I even-"

You were cut off when Tara threw herself at you. She pulled you close with her free hand, nails almost digging into your skin with the force of it as she buried her head on your shoulder.

Quiet sobs shook her body and you held her back the best you could whilst being mindful of her injuries. One of your hands cradled her head, fingers tangled in her dark hair as you breathed in everything that was her. "Shit, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."

Tara only pushed herself into you more as you spoke. There was a beat, a moment of hesitance from someone who'd had the bitter taste of betrayal more than anyone should. Trust was a gamble, but when you had a place in her heart no one else could ever have, Tara knew you'd never break it. "I'm okay now," she spoke against you; and she believed it.

You only squeezed her tighter, pulling back just enough to land a kiss on her temple. And you allowed your lips to linger, to feel her skin against you and her heartbeat pressed to your own.

Tara melted in your hold, allowing you to support most of her weight. With her cheek pressed to your collarbone, she spoke; "you still owe me a date."

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Tara’s taglist: @milkiane @v1ci0us @alexkolax

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary71

11/21-22/2023

tuesday - wednesday

listening to arab on radar, made cookies, read some julia kristeva.

not as much as i would have liked. her book called black sun, about misery. she says melancholia a lot, but something feels distantly embarrassing about saying that. saying i am melancholic. i am, though. it's so obvious it's painful, which is why it's a bit of an embarrassing word to say. i'm excited for her chapter about beauty, in the book. i want to read more of her stuff, so i dled some pdfs, might check that out tonight. anyway:

today i woke up annoyed, because the thing that got me out of bed was being told about how my friends got confused, because of the one guy in there who i find really frustrating, because he is making my friend depressed, gently, or not gently, but it's not aggressively, i guess. he was like, it's next week right, and other guys were like, is it?? and then they were like, well maybe it should be. my friend's gf was like, well, you should all try to come by tomorrow! which got a lot of them to be like: okay. the only one who seems like a maybe at this point, is the annoying guy. i am still expecting him to show up, though. he is saying he's going to be cooking w/ his family for thursday, but who knows, he's not a good cook, he cooked for us on his birthday (a kindness, certainly (strangely, he talked to me extensively that day, that day only, about how much he wanted everyone to be together always, all the time, and how much pleasure he got from getting everyone together "like this"(lends credence to the idea that he really wants to be the center of whatever group he's in))) and when he cooked he burnt all the meat, overdone, a friend said it was quote unquote dog-food. so i think his family would actually be happy to lose his hands.

i made 31 cookies, 33 technically but i ate 1.5, gf ate the other half (too full).

i'm still looking forward to tomorrow. i'm going to bitch abt the annoying guy with my friend's gf, i'm sure she'd be happy to complain a little, since he tried to fuck her plans up, or not tried, he just kind of almost did, by stumbling in the dark. everyone was like, making me so mad, when they were like, maybe we really should do it next week. it felt like a bunch of men deciding that when women make plans that they aren't central to, they can freely ignore them and decide what would make for better plan-making. one said that it'd be easier to plan if it were next week, but this has been a plan for about a week, already, it feels like at least. maybe less? it's just casual, though. i guess i gave myself something easy to do, with the cookies, compared to other things people might cook.

anyway i want to post some dolls and then sleep:

@_godog_ hijikata haruna

i wonder if her name is her actual name or if a chosen name based on tatsumi hijikata, the butoh dancer/ pioneer. it would fit, aesthetically, the dolls are right on the edge of corpselike, i would like to put special attention to the recent works with dolls that have these nacre eyes. they're so dead, and so like cataracts, but still intone something beyond or before death, not lifeless, just beside the void. it gives voice to the experience/ thought that one speaks it, or is a vessel for that nothing to pass through, a perfection written with lightness, i also quite like what must be the earlier dolls with extremely off kilter / askew eyes, also near death, but also near the to the erotic experience, also dissociative, distant, it reminds me of being places and doing things i didn't like but also had no way to imagine excusing myself from, so i was just like, okay.

also, all the hands, they are between searching and articulating pain. arthritic and curious. (and the toes on the one with exposed feet, really special detail work across all the digits)

either way, they are really beautiful to me, i quite love her work.

~

freak's circus

some of these skew a bit too trevor brown for me to want to post here (unfortunately i like some of his stuff, because i guess i look at it and have the stupid, wow, girl with surgery equipment looking crazy, i love that, response (he is so clearly a gross perv but i guess i excuse it in certain artists and not others (that's fine though because i don't think i'm ever excusing pedophilia like i feel like i'd have to w/ trevor brown (i don't think these dolls are pedophilic, though, so)))) anyways, i'm shocked i never saw or heard of these dolls anywhere, they're quite cute, and pretty. they just kind of lean on the whole creepy cute thing (all these dolls do) but these ones are much more willingly the kind of creepy cute pop art that can either become very bad or be very good, i'm fond of it. it's like so near bad taste it's kind of lovely/intoxicating, like the weird amputee dolls, it's an externalization of a cluster of feelings or ways you can feel like you are seen in such aggressive manner, i guess if you are one to read it that way, it's compelling no matter what. another reason i guess i'm so stricken by it, is the tension between perfection/the pristine, wanting terrible things to happen, and real malady, subtle bruising, illness, wanting to be tortured, being tortured actually, and needing to be beautiful, and that impossibility, all projected onto a toy, also remains compelling for me, in particular the conjoined twin dolls connect. the fish stomach one is simply very stunning to me, really really beautiful, and also silly and simple, it's stepping the line of good taste in certain ways, it does not have any restraint, none of these do, all excess all the time, everything at full volume, subtlety isn't absent, it's revived from a corpse though, killed and brought back by all the noise, it exists in the (dis)harmonies and nested thoughts happening as you are blasted by that image, sneaking many things in, dirty fantasies and the worry over the fantasies all the same.

ofc the mari shimizu feeling thing w/ the anatomical venus belly cutout w/ something religious feeling placed inside instead of organs (the sacred is the bodily??? gaspppp) is cute. i can't tell if it bothers me when anyone but her does that. i'm in favor, i suppose, because it is such a pretty/cute idea, to me.

~

@sekisyoku_metro

these ones really caught my eye, as where the last creator leans very hard into the kitsch/pop art area, and the first feels so heavenly almost, corpses stuck in a threeway of transcending, rotting, and still living, returning to themselves, or having never left, these really are the most corpselike and grotesque without being actually ugly. the first doll here, has a stomach as rough as the moon, it resembles io to me, the body is the color of a corpse left in a sulfuric lake, the face is that of an angry god. the noh mask features are quite insane, these dolls are maybe the most physical i've seen, or they immediately strike me as physical, heavy. the one missing her arm, she is less impersonable in her face, but she still remains strange, uncanny. i also quite love the desaturated pink ribbon as a mote of viscera. somehow more effective than anything grosser, it feels, it gives a sensation in my arms, of the tendons quieting after an execution.

~

anyhow, uhh, what else did i do, today. i tried redoing vox for another song, i think it's almost there, need to go back in and do a couple lines probably, i want some parts that are like girlier sounding i guess, no better way to put that. and then find a way to mix the vocals a little better, maybe just low shelf some stuff out. it can be quieter too, listening to arab on radar, it's not like the stuff i want to be like is really like, upfront vocally.

another song i think it'd be good to keep in mind:

i think maybe next super short song i do i should let myself use a synth sound that's really obvious, instead of these guitar thingies, just give myself like, a break, with mixing. i think it'd be easier.. . but who knows. i love to #fuckeverythingup and #dotoomuch (earlier in the blog, when i talk about subtlety revived, life poured into its mouth by noise i was also talking about something i think i do and #lovesomuch)

anyway i have to sleep soon. i get so much more talkative here when i ready anyfuckingthing. it's crazy. i have to make myself do it a bit every day. it made me write a little too. nothing substantial (substantial right now has to be me going in and working on the structure and slotting things together for the story) but doing anything is good. it keeps my mind working.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!

[dirtmunch]

when i get involved w peopel i always very quickly get the sense that the other person likes me a lot more than i like them which makes me feel so uneasy and uncomfortable and guilty, like im puttin on an act and trying not to get caught. but also like mad that theyre over interpreting how i interract w them and assuming its the same head over heelsness as theyre feeling, like theyr eputting words in my mouth :/ its not as if i dislike them at all, but i can tell they are way more invested in me than i am them :( i feel like im deficient in that sense and can never rlly feel true love or attraction like that wholesale like other ppl seem to be able to and ill never find true love bc of it ughhhhh.

but the one time i DO feel genine yearning and love and affection to someone its w a girl itll never happen w cuz she moved ;O; she was a grad student in print n me and a couple otehr print gworls got super close, but i graduated before them and i felt like they didnt give a shit about me after even tho i tried so hard to keep up the connection. she graduated in may n recently moved outta state fir work next i see shes made an insta post talking abt another girl in the group as her best friend n how grateful she was to have met her and im just like :’‘‘‘‘‘‘( so jealous and sad and mad at happenstance that i happened to graduate when i had to and they still didnt and because fo this someone else became the closest one to her.... like the one time i feel like im feeling actual love this is what happensssssssss but what can i do abt it!!!!! im also so mad ive been made to feel liek such an outsider and scrapped by ppl just bc i moved like... slightly farther away. liek they never responded to texts never tried to reciprocate when i tried making plans never tried to reach out first to make plans w me themselves

makes me feel awful bc im dating a rlly nice girl rn, we ARE explicitly open and casual bc we r both moving in 2 weeks n knew we’d have to split at the end of the summer but i just find myself thinking abt how much fun and geuine joy and how relaxed id be having if i was with the other girl and how i could actually b myself instead of putting on the act in front of my gf bc she expects the same amout of love she feels towards me *from* me. but i also feel like my gf and i are dating more out of proximity and convenience cuz we’re both 20 somns living at home w parents in the burbs, but i dont think she rlly gets me in the way i know the other girl does and has. like we like each other but at a fundamental level dont mesh. somethign somethign divergent evolution of a twitter user vs a lifelong tumblr girlie.

when i think of the other girl i want to cook for her bc i love how happy she looks when she eats the food i make, i wanna talk about dumb shit without putting on the front i have to w my gf so she doesnt feel totally confused, i wanna crochet for her i wanna decorate for her but its never happening!!!!!!!!!

[cephei-ea]

Helllooo!! hope you’re doing well :) I was wondering if you could write a reader x arlo angst? i feel like a main flaw abt him is his tendency to expect too much while also being too “lecture-y” or condescending even when talking to ppl close to him. so maybe reader is his gf and couldn’t finish some responsibilities cause she had a rough week and his flaws pop out before he realizes she’s having a hard time? thank you!!

Hi anonnie!! I'm doing well, I hope you are as well! Thank you for being my first request <33 (And I am so so so sorry for answering late, forgive me) I am not super familiar with his character, as it's been a while since I caught up with UO, but I hope you enjoy !!

Genre: angst to comfort

Warnings: argument, cursing, Arlo says some mean stuff, (I rushed this, I’m sorry, I usually don’t :( I wanted to finish asap)

Synopsis: Arlo treats you poorly when you're having a bad week, seeing your tears fall because of him seems to flip a switch in his mind.

Word Count: 1.7k

___

It'd been cruel how the universe truly believed in how much you could handle. It's not like you were a god, after all, a few exams and plenty of expectations from everyone around you piling up was enough to wear you out. It would anyone. It felt as though you hadn't seen your boyfriend properly for days and getting back home, all you were hoping for was to fall into his embrace and sleep until your issues were forgotten, even if it were fleeting. Your bag was heavy, your belongings weighing down your arm as you dragged yourself through the door and shut it behind you with a foot. You immediately dropped your bag to the ground and slipped off your heels. You really hated that pair, but you had to wear them for a meeting with a few higher ups and now your feet screamed at you for rest.

"Arlo? Love, where are you?" You heard a gentle hum resound from the bedroom down the hall and quietly made your way down; the walk torturously long. "What are you doing here all alone? How's your work going?"

"Could be better." He answered curtly. You could tell he was irritated just by his attitude and the tone of his voice, but the way he stood staring at the basket of unfolded laundry on the floor made you feel like you should just focus on something else. You wandered over to the closet to grab a change of clothes and began to slip out of the uncomfortable clothes of the day. It was late, you noticed, eyeing the clock on the adjacent wall.

"Can I help you feel better?" You smiled softly, your eyes full of sleep as you reached behind you to unclasp your bra. Arlo turned suddenly and a perpetual frown seemed to stain his features. You quickly grabbed your night shirt and covered your half exposed chest, feeling shy under his intense gaze. "W, why are you staring?" You tried to laugh off the confusion in your voice, instead it came out as scratchy and cornered.

"You didn't do the laundry." He stated as though he wanted a yes or no answer, despite clearly seeing it hadn't been done.

"No, I haven't had time to, I've been really busy with school work, I'm sorry!"

"We're you half asleep when you put the dishes away? They're all in the wrong spots, did you truly not notice?"

"O...oh. I'm sorry, I'll get them done tomorrow if that makes you hap-" you sighed, finally realizing he was having a little tantrum of his. Arlo and his systems.

Though, you had to give it to him, he was persistent. He wanted every dish in a specific spot behind another specific dish in the right cabinet or in the right drawer. It came with the package that was him, you were fully willing to work along his schedule, it just got a bit overwhelming sometimes.

"-Forget it. You can't seem to do it the way it's meant to be done, so I'll do it." He grumbled, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I mean, come on. I've told you countless times how it has to be, can you really not even accomplish something as simple as chores?" You clutched your shirt to your chest, feeling small; smaller than you should. Vulnerable with nothing but a pair of underwear firmly on your body. But his eyes that burned into you had made you feel as though you couldn't move. The gaze that looked down on you and made you feel like a useless child.

"Arlo, I don't think it's a big deal, I mean all the cups are going in the same place anyways. Why should it matter which-" his voice suddenly boomed over yours.

"Because it just matters okay!?" He actually began raising his voice, and you weren't nearly in the mood for an argument. But this was outright ridiculous. He picked up the basket of laundry and carelessly dropped it onto the bed, allowing the laundry to spill all over the sheets and the basket to fall to the floor at your feet. Your eyes followed, jaw working with frustration. He thought you incompetent. "A child could do this better than you, do I seriously need to remind you everytime-" the rest of his speech about 'the way things must be done' because 'there is an order to everything' that must not be looked past, went in one ear and damn straight through the other. He still had the mindset he did when he was infatuated with the hierarchy. "-Are you even listening to me!!??" He yelled, eyes piercing through you as he let his emotions rip through your resolve. "You can't do anything right; all I want is to come home to the place in order and this is what I-" he paused suddenly, when you made your way promptly out of the room with your clothes and a pillow in tow. "Where are you going!? Are you seriously walking away from me right now!!?" His eyebrows furrowed deep into the crevice between them, his irritation gaining. Quickly, you slipped into your shirt and slid a pair of shorts on, feeling tears drip down your cheeks and a slight dizziness prompted behind your eyes. Arlo was fast in catching your wrist, halfway down the hall to your living room and he was, to say the least, shocked to see the tears that stained your beautiful face. "Are-..."

Was he the cause?

Of the one thing he hated most?

He swore to never hurt you and yet you stood in your own home, crying because of him.

His entire mood switched up like a light switch.

"Are you...?" He began, his voice now soft as he took in your pained expression. "...crying?"

"I tried!! I'm trying, damn it!! Arlo, I can't do it all, everything is piling up, it feels like the world is on my shoulders, how can you try to argue with me right now!!??" You sniffled, trying to tug away from his grip. "How can you put so much on me!!?? Have you even noticed that I've been stressed out of my mind or that I've been coming home later every night or that I'm touch starved or that I miss you!!?? Why are the dishes and laundry more important!!?? I'm sorry I can't do it right but I'm... I'm-!!!" He pulled you into his strong arms, heart heavy in the cavity of his chest. Arlo placed his chin atop your head, any issues he'd had a mere minutes ago been completely forgotten. He was too upset with himself to care about the damn dishes anymore. He let his frustrations get the better of him and his emotions cloud his judgement. "How can you be so condescending!?" Your voice cracked horribly, nose squished against his firm chest as you cried into his shirt. "How can you treat me like a toddler!? I'm your girlfriend, Arlo, not your employee or your inferior or your-" he hushed you softly, sitting you both down onto the couch, he shut his eyes, wishing he had a reason to justify the way he spoke to you. Alas, he did not and his stomach merely churned fit the idea that this could have been the last straw for you. "I'm your girlfriend..." you barely whispered, frustration lacing your tone with sadness. Arlo couldn't find his words, for once. You were the one and only person that could render him desperate and speechless at the same time.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know... I don't know why I said those things, I,I didn't mean them-"he paused, pulling you away to wipe the tears gently from below your eyes, his fingers grazing your soft skin and holding your face like you were a jewel he couldn't drop. "I was just taking my anger out on you, I would never say anything like that in my right mind- I... I'm sorry." He kissed away your last tears and met your eyes. "I don't care about the chores, I don't." You sniffled a time or two and Arlo felt his heart break in half. He never would have made you cry had he been himself and not allowed his feelings take control of him. "I love you. I can't lose you. Forgive me. Please, love; I will never speak to you that way again. I was frustrated, I’m sorry I didn’t think about your issues as well. I would never say those things to you of all fucking people in my right mind, I know it’s not that important, of course I do… I miss you so much and I haven’t seen you all week— and it’s making me anxious, I just handle it the wrong way... It will not happen again, I can asure you.” He chanted out in hopes you would believe him. “I don’t know what came over me…” he whispered to himself. He treated people like his inferiors in the past, it was no secret. But you? Of all people, he lashed out at you? It’d never really happened before and for a second, Arlo realized he could have single handedly pushed you away for good. His blue eyes bore into yours and the gentle blonde locked from his head fell against your temple as he stared at you. “I love you. I apologize.”And despite the anger and frustration and sadness you'd been feeling mere minutes ago, it all felt washed away when your boyfriend lifted your head between his hands and hesitantly leaned down to meet your lips in a soft, deep kiss. He felt unsure as to whether you were still too mad to want to touch him, but with the way you leaned into the kiss as if you didn't want to part, told him otherwise. In fact, Arlo began getting worried for your oxygen supply or lack thereof when you wouldn't take a break, even as he leaned away to part...

However when he did manage to break away (for both of your sakes), and you told him that, "It's okay." And that, “I forgive you.” Arlo felt as though he was the one who had lost his air. He smiled wide and crushed you against him, leaving himself a mental note to finish the house chores for you today, so that you could sleep.

[night-fallz]

XY’s Muse

Based on this prompt

Like I have stated before, this is my first fanfic. Please let me know what you think of it. Any kind of criticism will be welcome.

uploaded on 01/23/21

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Ao3 // Wattpad

previous II next

Chapter 2

XY was staring at the ceiling. A week has already passed. And he still couldn't stop thinking about the day he spent with Marinette. It was the most fun he'd had in a while.

Before the whole Silencer fiasco, his father would not stop pressuring him to produce a new song. So when they met up for dinner and his dad came up with the idea of stealing someone else's music, he couldn’t bring himself to decline.

XY knew it was wrong.

But all he wanted was the chance to finally impress his dad. Bob Roth might not have the best attitude towards him, but he was all XY had left.

Xy already lost his mom. He would not lose his dad too.

At least, that's what he believed. He should've known that his father was just using him for money. According to his dad, money was the most valuable thing in life.

XY scoffed. He should've known better. He should've known that all his father thought of hi-

He felt a buzz in his pocket and his face immediately brightened. Marinette just texted him!

Marinette: what's up?

Marinette: have u been inspired yet?

Marinette gave XY the idea to just sit back and let inspiration hit him. It was a common idea but it was one that most people tend to forget in the long run.

XY: nothing much

XY: and nope.

XY: my dad has been pressuring me to come up with something tho

Marinette: ignore him

Marinette: he's just mad cause he can't get any ladies

The three dots popped up on his screen.

Marinette: OH CRAP I'M LATE

Marinette: TTYL.

XY rolled his eyes and smiled.

They've been texting back and forth these past few days. He's learned so many things about her and vice versa.

It was nice. It's been a while since XY has had a friend.

Maybe she'll be even more, XY couldn’t help but think as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Huh," XY said out loud. "Even more"

And just like that, inspiration for his next song hit him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Marinette was thinking of a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed musician when she heard her phone ring.

"Tikki!" she screamed, staring at her phone as if it was Hawkmoth himself.. "He's calling me. XY is calling me."

Tikki sighed and floated next to Marinette, "Maybe you should answer it. It would be pretty rude to keep him waiting."

"Right, right," Marinette answered his call and hoped her voice didn’t sound as squeaky as she thought it did.. "Hey."

"Hey."

There was a moment of awkward silence.

Marinette didn’t know what to do. She glanced at the small goddess.

Tikki rolled her eyes at their awkwardness as she gestured to the phone. Ask him why he called you, she mouthed to Marinette.

Marinette nodded. That was a smart idea. "So," Marinette cleared her throat. "Why did you call me?"

"Right, Uhm." Marinette heard him shuffling around his room. "You know how you've been asking me if I was inspired and stuff?"

Marinette's eyes grew wide and a huge smile took over her face as she started to nod before remembering that he couldn't see her. "Yep." she eagerly said, "Did you find any?"

"Yes!" Marinette could hear the excitement in his voice. "I was actually wondering if you wanted to design the outfits for my music video."

Marinette's eyes looked shocked. "Yes!" she jumped around in excitement before remembering she was still in a call with XY. "Why me though?"

XY’s voice sounded confused.. "What do you mean, why you? You're literally perfect for it. You're talented. Plus, everyone loves your designs."

Marinette’s cheeks resembled a tomato. She has never been more thankful for the fact that he couldn't see her right now.

"Thank you." Marinette managed to mumble. "That really means a lot."

"You're welcome." XY said. Marinette had a feeling he was smiling though. "I have to go and have my dad listen to the demo. But I'll text you later, okay?"

"Yep," Marinette whispered and gave Tikki a cookie. "Good luck. I know that whatever song you came up with is gonna sound good. No matter what he'll say."

Marinette heard a faint "Thanks" from the phone before the call ended.

Marinette screamed into her pillow and looked up and saw Tikki look at her with amusement. “I think I like him.”

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"So, what do you think?" XY asked as his father finished listening to his song. "Is it bad? Do you think people will like it?"

Bob Roth grinned at his son. "This is a Masterpiece. Where did you find this?" He gestured to the video of XY singing the song, "Who did you steal this from?"

XY's proud smile immediately turned into a scowl. "What do you mean, who did I steal this from?" He yelled at his dad, his blue eyes glaring at him as he grabbed the demo from the table. "I made it. I came up with it myself." XY felt his eyes tearing up. "Something you would actually know if you thought of me as something more than a money-making machine."

How could he? XY thought as he climbed up the stairs. Is it that hard to believe that I could come up with something good?

XY slammed his door shut. "All I wanted was to prove to him that I wasn't a talentless son." XY put his hands on his face. "I just wanted to make him proud."

XY felt a buzz in his pocket and immediately knew that it was Marinette. After all, she’s the only one that ever texts him.

Marinette: how did it go?

Marinette: did he like it?

XY wiped away the tears that were starting to come out of his eyes. He couldn't help but smile. Marinette certainly had an effect on him.

XY: he called it a masterpiece

Marinette: yes! I knew he would like it.

XY: yeah

XY: but then he asked me who i stole it from

Marinette: THAT JERK

Marinette: WTF

Marinette: THAT's SO MESSED UP

Marinette: HOW COULD HE-

Marinette: DO YOU WANT ME TO BEAT HIM UP FOR YOU????

XY laughed at her text messages. He only started to text her and he already felt better.

XY: no, it's fine

XY: i actually yelled at him

Marinette: ...

Marinette: do you feel better?

XY: actually, yep.

XY: he's a really sucky father

Marinette: for some reason, a lot of the blondes i know have a toxic parent

Marinette: it's kinda sad

XY: maybe it's a paris thing

They texted back and forth, XY laughing at the memes Marinette sent.

XY: You're definitely a daughter of Athena

Marinette: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

Marinette: is that a percy jackson reference i see

XY: yep

XY: have u read the books?

Marinette: duh

Marinette: you haven't lived til you've read the books

Marinette: sadly, the movies sucked tho

XY: I KNOW

XY: ANNABETH WASN'T EVEN BLONDE

Marinette: EXACTLY!!

Marinette: SJSJSJSJSJSJ

 Marinette: THE MOVIES SCARED ME FOR LIFE

XY: oh yeah

XY: before i forget

XY: what's ur insta?

Marinette: which one

XY scrunched his eyebrows up in confusion.

XY: What do you mean by which one?

Marinette: i have two

Marinette: one as my personal one and the other one for commissions and stuff

XY: ohhh

XY: smart

Marinette: i know ;)

Marinette: my personal one is @Mdupaincheng and the one for my commissions one if @MDCdesigns

XY switched his apps and searched up Marinette's personal instagram. He clicked on the first result that came up.

The profile picture was Marinette in a blue, silky dress that went just above her ankle. There was a slit on her left leg that showed her knee. It was nighttime and Marinette was practically glowing under the city lights. She was staring at something on her right side, with one hand running through her silky black hair which was down for once.

She looked hot.

After XY stopped admiring her profile picture, he finally noticed her follower count.

She had 200,000 followers. 200,000.

It wasn't as high as XY's follower count, that was still quite a lot.

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XY: i didn't know u were insta famous

Marinette: wdym?  

Marinette: which acc

XY: ur personal one

XY: u have over 200k followers

Marinette thought that she read his text wrong. There's no way that Marinette had that many followers. 200,000? There was no way.

Marinette: ur lying

XY: I'm not.

XY: check ur acc

It's been a while since Marinette has logged onto her personal account. The hate she got the last time she's been signed in was too much for her and when Alya told her to log out and just focus on her other account, @MDCdesigns, she couldn't bring herself to argue against her.

Marinette hasn't even thought of that account since that day. So when she logged in and saw that XY wasn't lying, she accidentally dropped her phone in shock.

Tikki looked at Marinette with a questioning look.  

Marinette ignored her kwami and texted the blue-eyes boy back.

Marinette: HOLY SHIT

Marinette: I HAVE 200k FOLLOWERS

Marinette: HOW TF DID THAT HAPPEN

XY: when was the last time you checked ur acc

Marinette: about 3 months ago

Marinette: the media thought i was adrien's gf and his fangirls came at me

Marinette: i got a ton of hate and a friend of mine told me to log out and just focus on my @MDCdesigns acc

Marinette: so i did

Marinette: i haven't thought abt that acc since then

XY: the fangirls were probably just jealous

XY: it's been months so they probably calmed down

XY: I'm looking through the comments rn and so far the latest hate comment you've got was about 2 weeks ago

XY: you've got a bit of a fanbase yk

Marinette: WHAT DO I DO

Marinette: DO I JUST CONTINUE NOT TO POST OR SHOULD I POST SOMETHING ON MY STORY ABT HOW THANKFUL I AM FOR 200k

Marinette: HOW COME NONE OF MY FRIENDS TOLD ME ABT THIS

XY: don't post anything rn

XY: post a picture of yourself and the caption it something that shows ur thankful for the number of followers u received

XY: OH

XY: a few hours before u post the picture, make sure u post on ur story abt how ur back from ur break on social media

XY: that way ppl will understand why u haven't been active

XY: it'll also have ppl prepared for ur post and they'll be waiting for u to post it

XY: that'll give u more engagement and stuff

Marinette: thank u

Marinette: that was really helpful

Marinette: when should i post something?

Marinette: AND I STILL DONT KNOW WHY MY FRIENDS DIDNT SAY ANYTHING ABT THIS

XY: u told ur friend that u were taking a break from social media right?

Marinette: yes

XY: then they probably weren't expecting u to post anything so they weren't checking ur insta

XY: u should post something on the weekend

XY: that way ppl wouldn't bother u during school this week

XY: if u want i can help u come up with ideas tomorrow?

Marinette: yes, please!

Marinette: do u wanna come over

Marinette: we can plan it in my room so that ppl won't overhear us

XY: guess I'll see u tomorrow then

XY: just text me the time ur available and I'll be there

Marinette: make sure to wear a disguise tho!

Marinette: we got lucky last time and no tabloids caught us

XY: ur right

XY: we must've been really lucky if no one got a pic of us

XY: but okay

XY: I'll wear my best disguise

XY: goodnight, princess

Marinette blinked a few times, making sure she read the text correctly.

Princess.

Marinette: goodnight ♥

previous II next

This is the first chapter of the story. Please let me know what you think

1,967 words

Tag list:

@iglowinggemma28 @mica-aa @lady-bee-fechin @maskedpainter @snnoww26 @ravenr22 @spiritofchaoticdreams @ravennm84 @heaven428 @finn-cipher @peterxwade24 @aliceofice22 @queenamongthorns @captainmac6

[athenaseden]

we are always talking abt seeing mel w another woman so see barbs response but consider its not that shes w someone else, its that barb didnt know. this is gonna read more platonically them btw. also over a few episodes.

jacob and janine and zach saw mel out on a date w some girl. they are all shocked bc what she was going strong w gary !?! so they come in monday and are interrogating barb abt mel and gary. They somehow manage not to expose themselves but make barb massive suspicious. she checks in w mel and mels like oh yeah we didnt work. im sorry I meant to tell you that. barb is a little disappointed but decides to give it a break. we see janine and jacob investigating. get a few shots of mel smiling at her phone and her walking out on the phoneall giddy but she always has an excuse. and we as the audience have no proof this isnt a prank. one day mel is late. And the cameras and barb, greg, janine and jacob are all outside waiting for her. up coming a motorcycle w two women, one w flaming red hair under her helmet and it stops in front of the door. mel gets off and waves tells her gf bye and walks up the steps and everyone is just standing there. you have ava who is watching the motorcycle leave and eyeing mel in her leather jacket. janine and jacob proud to be right, greg walking in bc honestly why does he even like them again. And the barb who looks disappointed. Mel explains she had to take her mustang in so she needed a ride but there was construction on some short cut so they had to take the main road. Then they go abt their day bc mel says no to all questions that come from the knuckle heads. We see barb distance all day. then when everyone is leaving and cant find the two we are dragged back to their room where barb is upset "why didnt you tell me?" mels so confused "tell you what? ole girls in the shop? you were already here you couldn't have help." that sets barb off bc yes she could have. "that you have a girlfriend!?!" and melissa is so stunned bc what. barb knows she dates women. what is this. "what are you talking about? why does it matter?". please barbara is so done. "I am your best friend melissa ann schemmenti and in the past two months you have neglected to tell me that you broke off one relationship and started another! what happened? i used to know every detail. did i cross a line? was i too hard?!" and melissa finally gets it and realizes what this is. "barbara, i havent neglected to tell you about my new relationship. ive been planning to tell you this weekend. i am sorry about not telling you about gary, i just didnt want you to be disappointed. you wanted me to be with someone and i am! she just wasn't ready to have other people know about our relationship. and i like her barbara a lot. i didnt think I could contain myself if i told you because i do tell you everything." and then ya know. everything is better.

[jd-loves-fiction]

Hey! If you’re taking requests can I get a Frankie Morales x reader where they’re both friends and has crushes on one another but don’t say anything. Then Santi invites everyone (with Tom? Up to you) to a bar and Frankie invites his gf and reader is crushed abt it. Tons of angst but you can end in fluff or keep at angst. Thanks in advance if you write this! :)

🌙 the yearning 🥺 hope you like it :))

[22:09] “Look who it is! My favorite girl.”

“Knowing you, I have a hard time believing that, Santi.” You teased as you walked through the doors and towards the bar, receiving various amused chuckles from the men that had heard you while the accused shook his head.

You immediately asked for a drink as you sat beside Benny who smiled at you as he patted you on the back.

“Been awhile.” Tom commented, gaining your attention as he took a sip from his beer. “Sure has. How’re the girls?”

“Fine. Tess says she misses you. Should come and visit sometime.” He speaks calmly, smiling at the mention of his daughter while you do the same out of fondness for the young girl.

“I will. Soon. Just been kind of busy lately.” Tom squeezed your shoulder as a sign that he understood. You finally began to take in the space around you.

It was a quiet night at the local bar Pope had picked out, only a couple of lovebirds and a few teens (that probably shouldn't be in there but the place sold food too, so who knew), plus William, Benny and his newest fixation, which you promptly moved to greet as they had sat themselves in front of the TV playing a random MMA match. Of course.

You greeted the brothers with the usual banter, and the new lady politely, though you did tease her about picking Benny just a little. To keep her on her toes and to push his bottoms just a little. At least William seemed amused.

You then moved to Pope himself, who seemed to be staring off into space, not jumping but moving his gaze quickly to the one that had given him a forceful pat on the back, you.

You smirked a his lost expression for a moment, to which he chuckled while blinking the haze away from his eyes. “Didn't know you had an interest in interior design."

"I don't."

"Then, what's so enthralling about that wall, over there?" Your teasing gets a sigh out of the absentminded man before he shakes his head, "Nothing."

"By the way, is Frankie ever gonna show up?" You’d never really tried to be subtle about your not-so-little crush on Frankie, so you figure there’s no use trying to hide it now. Knowing that Pope definitely knows what’s up by the glint in his eye.

“He said he would. Also said he’d be bringing a plus one.” You furrow your brow at the added comment but don't think much more on it.

It's not long before the man himself steps through the door, eliciting excited shouts from the men in the bar waiting for him. You miss the look Santiago shoots you as you turn around to look at Frankie... And his plus one.

He walks in first, followed by a woman you don't recognize, understandingly embarrassed by the weight of all the interested gazes suddenly on her.

You look down, back at your drink, hoping she didn't catch the dark expression that passed over your features. Jealousy, heartbreak, and a cocktail of something else that suffocates you and makes your stomach churn.

They come up to you and Santi once they finish greeting the other guys. "Hey, how’s it going?” Frankie asks amicably as he reaches you, patting Pope on the back until he lets go of his beer to give the older man a warm hug. He then does the same to you. You only hope he doesn't notice your stiffness. “Who’s the pretty lady?”

“This is Vanessa. She works with me.” He says simply with a painfully soft smile while motioning towards her. She smiles beautifully bright while waving at the two of you at the bar. It makes you feel faintly sick. Which then makes you feel guilty.

You try your best to get through your heartbreak without popping off to the bathroom to cry it out, knowing your friends would somehow notice something was wrong and you'd have no way of hiding it from them. But it hurts. It aches deeply. And such pain is hard to hide.

You're sure Frankie notices, knowing you as well as he does.

Your companions get essentially shit faced incredibly quickly, which makes them get louder and less aware of their surroundings, so you use this opportunity to bid them all farewell and attempt to slip out the door without too many questions. Attempt.

You've had enough of watching what you once thought could be the love of your life be all lovey-dovey with Vanessa. So with your heart in your hands while holding back the tears, you slip out.

It's only an attempt because Frankie himself, of course, the cause of all this, calls out to you as you're walking out.

"You alright?" He asks, those soft brown eyes wide with concern that warmed your still broken heart.

"I'm fine, Frankie, just tired. It's been a long day." You chuckle awkwardly, lying through your teeth. It had actually been a fantastic day. You were excited to meet up with your friends after getting out of work early. So a pretty fantastic day overall, compared to the usual.

"I know you're lying." He said simply, sighing and looking away as if to gather his thoughts. "And I saw the way you looked at Vanessa. Are you jealous?"

Of course Frankie, the group mom, would be able to tell you were lying. And notice your envy, on top of that.

The alcohol cursing through your veins takes the wheel finally, "Yes, I am." you admit. Frankie's eyes soften even further, if possible, and those nasty feelings of heartbreak and assumed rejection come swirling back around in your gut and all you really want right now is one of Frankie's bear hugs. The type that make you feel unbelievably safe and comfortable and warm, but most of all, protected, so neither your body nor your heart can be damaged. Except he's the one causing the damage this time.

"So, you have feelings for me." He states more to himself, to be sure this is real, while you roll your eyes, embarrassed and wishing you could just get to your car and book it out of there.

"I- You- You idiot." He exclaims almost fondly with wide, disbelieving eyes. He sighs at your confused expression, motioning wildly with his hands to make you understand the stupidity of the situation. "I've had feelings for you for years!"

"So have I!"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why didn't you?"

"Fair point." He chuckles, softly at first, but it's not long before he laughs at the situation with his whole chest, prompting you to do the same because of his contagious laugh.

"Then, Vanessa...?"

"Well, I kind of rushed head first into it, hoping to... Not think about you." Frankie rubs the back of his neck as he looks back to the bar. "Honestly, I'm sure we'd be better off as friends but, I had to try."

You nod understandingly, fiddling with your sleeves nervously, "So that means that we..."

"Need to go on a date asap? Yes, it does. I'll drive." Frankie jokes, glowing with happiness while holding onto your arms.

"No date, I'm too tired. And too drunk, but I will accept a ride home instead." You smile, also consumed by the excitement of very much requited love as you two laugh while getting in your car.