#my general attitude towards these things is at this point ''it's not that deep'' because it really isn't!!!!!

[elysiicns]

ig some people might consider my time IDing as aroace as a "waste" of time bc it was years of my life but genuinely i don't see it that way. it let me examine the social pressures and attitudes around sex and romance in a detached way and ultimately i've carried the mindset of not giving a shit about social conventions surrounding romance especially, and honestly it's really freeing

[maxdibert]

Do you think Snape had romantic feelings for Lily? What do you think about how main part of fandom associates his story only with his «undying love»?

I’m somewhere in the middle between those who think it was romantic and those who think it was platonic. I believe it was both, because the two can easily get confused.

To put it in context, I work with people who not only had terrifying childhoods and youths but, in general, pretty horrible lives. On top of that, most of these people have severe mental disorders like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or similar issues where severe emotional deprivation has been a major conflict in their social and emotional development. That said, one of the things I’ve learned (because my boss is amazing and pays for training courses for the whole team so we can better understand the people we work with) is that people with severe emotional deprivation tend to choose, throughout their lives, one or more individuals as their “attachment figures.” Usually, it’s just one person, though this can change over the years since these relationships often fall apart. This attachment figure isn’t necessarily someone they have a romantic or sexual relationship with, but rather someone they unconsciously choose as the object of their affection. All their emotions are directed at this person: all their attention is on them, and they are willing to do anything for them. They always talk to them, are always attentive to what’s happening to them, always worry about how they’re doing, always share everything with them, and always count on them.

But because this attachment is completely excessive and unregulated (since these people don’t know how to regulate themselves due to not having been taught, nor are they capable of forming healthy emotional bonds because of terrible role models and deep emotional wounds), it also works negatively. In other words, if you are someone’s attachment figure and suddenly stop responding to their messages, they will demand an explanation. If you hang out with other people, they will demand an explanation. If you make plans without them, they will demand an explanation. Being the attachment figure is a substitute for the emotional role model that wasn’t provided in childhood, like parents, so you’ll face tantrums like those of children feeling they’re not the center of their parents’ world. To these people, you are the center of their world, and unconsciously (because these kinds of attachments are entirely irrational—it’s super important to understand that this isn’t something they do on purpose), they want to be the center of yours. When they realize they’re not, they explode. They don’t know how to handle it because their insecurity and fear of loss and abandonment are so overwhelming that they feel they’re about to lose their attachment figure. Since they can’t control their emotions, their response is always incredibly anxious and aggressive.

With that in mind, I think that for Severus, Lily was his attachment figure. I believe that during his childhood, he saw her as his first equal (a witch), someone he could share things with that he wasn’t allowed to at home, someone with a functional and stable family, someone who treated him kindly and was good to him. I think that, because of this, she unconsciously became his emotional reference point. I think he was entirely dependent on her attention, as many people with emotional deprivation are with their attachment figures. I also think that, because this happened during his adolescence, and because she was a girl, was beautiful, and was loved by everyone, he probably confused it with love, a crush, or something like that. Let’s remember that Severus had no idea what healthy or functional romantic relationships were because the only example he had was his parents’ relationship, which was probably a complete disaster. In fact, that’s why I think he never questioned many of Lily’s attitudes toward the bullying he suffered—because in his home, the normalization of violence was justified, and contempt between partners was the norm. So, when she hinted that the bullying he endured wasn’t such a big deal, it probably seemed normal to him compared to how his parents treated each other.

In my opinion, it was both platonic and romantic, but not romantic in a deep sense—more of a deviation from the concept influenced by adolescent sexual awakening and the fact that she was the closest thing to someone he cared for. But primarily, I think Lily was his attachment figure from childhood. And as often happens in these situations, the attachment figure doesn’t feel nearly as strongly or intensely in return. It’s not reciprocal—not because the attachment figure is bad or inconsiderate, but because this is something that only develops when there are severe emotional deprivations, which Lily didn’t have. Honestly, this theory fits much better with the idea that feeling even slightly responsible for her death was something that paralyzed him for the rest of his life. It wasn’t just about being responsible for someone he might have felt romantic feelings for, but also for someone who was like a sister or even a mother to him. For people like this, the attachment figure is all those things—they are everything. And it also explains why, when begging for her life, he didn’t consider anyone else—because, in reality, no one else mattered to him. For people with attachment needs, only their attachment figures matter. This can be complex to understand for those without severe emotional traumas or serious mental health disorders, but it’s quite normal if you regularly interact with people like this.

So maybe during his adolescence, he thought he was in love, because such an intense feeling toward someone of the opposite gender is always culturally justified as romantic love under the heteronorm. And he was probably sexually attracted to her, which is super logical and normal because, well, teenagers, hormones, and all that. But if we get to the root of the matter, I don’t think it was that kind of love. I think it was actually a more platonic feeling, one of pure emotional and affective dependence on her.

[thestitchywitchy]

Future Spouse: First Impressions Pt 1

Hello my dears! Here’s a little PAC I’ve been working on…. This is going to be a 2 part (possibly a third, 18+ post, depending on how well these do) series as this one became a lot longer than I intended it to lol. This one will be about your future spouse’s first impression of you. The next one will be your first impression of them. Please leave feedback 😁

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To book a reading with me, please DM or send an email to thestitchywitchy@yahoo.com with your inquiry 💌

My Links <- 🔮please support your witch💕 -> Masterlist

Please donate if you’re able to 🙏

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Here we go! Shake it out, take a breath, close your eyes, and choose one of my favorite movie couples that calls out most to you. This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you feel inclined to choose more than one group, please feel free to do so.

Pictures are from Pinterest, credit to the owners. Editing was done by me, Stitchy!

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Gomez & Morticia - Pile One

6 of cups reversed, Queen of Swords, Page of Pentacles

All right, pile one, welcome to your reading! You will strike your future spouse as a complex individual from the very first moment. You may have seemed a bit guarded and reserved, which made them immediately think “💡I need to see what’s past that guard”. Aw cute lol. Some of you have a femme fatale thing going on and some of you are incredibly private or reserved, so you give off this mysterious vibe to your FS. The energy is as if you were carrying a heavy emotional burden from your past experiences on your shoulder, which makes you seem hesitant to open up to someone new.

As you two start conversing, they notice that you may have an air of authority about you. You may even be a manger/boss. Could even own your business or attempting to at the point of meeting them. This is only for some of you, but I’m also seeing kids? So you may be a parent or work with kids often. Teenagers/middle school age, specifically. They will also notice that you are very clear and precise in the way you communicate, and you seemingly have a sharp mind and quick wit about you. You may talk with your hands a lot too. They can tell that you’re someone who values honesty and straightforwardness above all else, and you are not someone who would suffer fools gladly. Get it, boo! Show those suckers what you’re made of 😉 But there was also something very innocent and curious about you under the surface that they are going to be intrigued by. Despite your guarded nature and no-nonsense attitude…you still seemed eager to learn and grow. They like that you may be open to new experiences and perspectives. You may have even called them out playfully or wasn’t afraid to stand up to them when they said something out of pocket. They aren’t typically used to receiving that energy so you made them go a bit gaga (even turned on for some of you lol) with this display of power.

Im sensing that, for a lot of you at least, you guys may really gravitate towards each other when you first meet because it seems like they were able to get to know you better on a deeper level right off the bat. They see that your past experiences have indeed left a deep mark on you and that you may be struggling to move past them. You may even bring up an ex or family issues during your conversation? But They also see that you had the strength and resilience to face your pain head-on and work towards healing and growth. They have/had no doubt that you have the intelligence and determination to make progress. They were inspired by your willingness to learn and explore new ways of thinking. You inspire them to become a better version of themselves. They may be going through some personal issues of their own at the time and the way you tackle issues may differ from they way they would usually do it. But they prefer your outlook on life so they may get inspired to take a page out of your playbook.

By the end of your meeting, they were left with a deep respect for this complex and multifaceted individual standing before them. You may have had a guarded and stand offish first impression, but they could see that beneath the surface was a person with a strong will, an open mind, and the courage to face your past and move towards a brighter future….and they would do anything in their power to be apart of it. Aww I love that for you, pile one! I hope you enjoyed your reading.

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Adam & Barbara - Pile Two

4 of pentacles, Ace of swords reversed, 9 of cups

Hey pile two, thanks for joining! Upon first meeting, you left a deep impression on your future spouse. To them, you seem to have an air of wealth and luxury about you. You may be dressed in your finest clothes or rockin your most expensive jewelry. Lmaooo I just heard “they’re bangin!” Sooo they’re really going to like your body, pile 2! 😂 can't get enough of it, apparently! That night/day, you will just all around be dressed to the nines and that will catch your FS’s attention right away. They may have noticed you right away, but it’s going to take them a little time to approach you. So as they continue to examine you from afar, they could sense something underneath all of the pretty wrapping paper. They feel a sense of possessiveness emanating from you. Like you’re holding on too tightly to your material possessions. It’s like…though you’re dressed to kill, they catch on to your insecurities beneath the surface. They’re trying to get familiar with your poker tells, basically.

Oop. Ok….Your FS may think that you might be having an identity crisis. Not necessarily in a negative way (although it might be for some of you who chose this pile), but it is apparent to them. You may be the type of person that struggles with their decision-making abilities. You may even seem lost and unsure of yourself, even though you’re dressed confidently. Like you don’t really belong in that setting, but you’re trying to fake it until you make it for whatever reason. This lack of clarity may also hinder you from making better choices for yourself. What I’m getting is like a nightclub, bar, or busy restaurant setting (take what resonates). You may have a lot of suitors physically surrounding you before your FS gets to you, so they’re still watching you from afar. They may see someone flirting with you and you’re eating up the attention and they’re just thinking to themselves… “really? You’re impressed by *that*?” Lmao your future spouse cracks me up. They’re a cerebral person, that’s for sure. They take in their surroundings before doing anything.

To them, it seems as though you are trying to use your wealth or material possessions to fill a void within yourself. Your future spouse feels like you’re trying to find emotional fulfillment in all the wrong places. They may also think you may be hard to satisfy or please, but are still not entirely sure what you really want. They see that you are seeking happiness but are met with fleeting moments instead and may even have lost touch with your emotional well-being. But they’re thinking that you’re knock out gorgeous, so why are you so sad?

Overall, their first impression of you is that you are struggling to find true happiness and emotional fulfillment in your life. While you may have amassed great wealth, luxury, and success ( whatever that means to you), you still seem to be missing something important in your day to day. They may have a fleeting thought of “ could it be me that’s missing from this equation?” Aww cute 🥰 hope you enjoyed your reading, pile 2!

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Seymour & Audrey - Pile Three

4 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups, Knight of Pentacles reversed

Hello pile 3, ready for your reading? Your future spouse’s first impression of you would be one of complexity and depth. They would see in you someone who is highly guarded and may be struggling with a fear of financial insecurity. You may be going through some difficulty at the time of meeting your future spouse and you may wear your worry on your face. For some of you, they felt your energy before they laid eyes on you. You may have been in a whirlwind of panic or frustration, maybe even tripping over yourself a bit, and they picked up on it before you even entered the room. Fear not, they will think your dishevelment is rather adorable lol awww!

However, they would also sense a deep emotional intelligence and sensitivity in you, much like the Queen of Cups. They would think that you’re someone who is highly empathetic and in tune with your and other’s emotions, but you may also be very protective of your feelings and hesitant to fully open up to others. I see a lot of nervous chuckling happening when you’re around them. They may have approached you in a teasing manner and you reacted shyly and a bit embarrassed. That’s so adorable pile 3! But remember, you’re the prize…no need to be nervous 😉 oh, I’m getting that they really like your smile! They instantly see in you someone they can start a life/family with. There’s just something about you that tick off all their boxes.

Your FS will also feel that you may be resistant to change and may prefer to stick to a routine or maintain the status quo. They see you as the type of person who doesn’t want to step on any toes, even in detriment to yourself. They feel that you may be cautious when it comes to taking risks or trying new things, but this energy can also indicate a strong sense of dedication and a willingness to work hard and persevere. They see that you like things done a certain way so that’s how you’re going to do it.

Overall, their first impression of you would be that you’re a person with a complex and multi-layered personality. They would see someone who is both highly sensitive and guarded. They want to tear your walls down. Make you feel safe with them. Hmm…Your fear of financial security keeps coming up… like you fear financial instability, so you’ve married yourself to your work to never see your bank account dip lower than a certain amount. It may worry them a bit that you may not have room for a relationship (with them) in your life because of this. However, On the same note, they would also see someone who is dedicated and hard-working… Someone who has the potential to break through their blocks and achieve success and fulfillment in life. Your FS would be drawn to your emotional depth and dedication, and would be eager to help you navigate any challenges that may arise….they’re just hoping you’ll make a little bit of space for them in order to do that. Aw, congrats pile 3. That sounds sweet!!

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All rights reserved to @thestitchywitchy . Thank you for participating in this pick a card reading 😊 if you liked this reading and would like to dive in further, please DM me for a $7.77 extended reading 💞

[musicalmoritz]

Good Femslash Fics Already Exist

With the whole push for more femslash in fandoms, I’ve never understood the amount of hate I see femslash “fans” direct towards existing creations. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more variety, I do too, but every time someone brings up the fact that femslash fan fictions are already being written someone opens their mouth to say “yeah but those suck.” And then they proceed to read 300+ atrociously mischaracterized mlm fics. They complain abt plotless fluff and then read the exact same pwp scenarios over and over again

And hey, if you don’t want to read femslash that’s totally fine. You don’t have to pretend it interests you. I’m someone who actively looks for femslash and my only problem has been a lack of content in smaller/male-dominated fandoms, the fics themselves are cute af. Ya’ll are missing out on some real masterpieces by labeling all existing femslash fics as “boring,” some of my favorite fics ever are femslash. If an mlm ship invades the tags just filter it out, filter out every mlm pairing in the fandom if you have to. AO3 gives us that option for a reason

I’m not saying we don’t need more variety, but we’re not going to get that by shitting on writers who actively put in the work to make more femslash. When I started writing femslash consistently it was very discouraging because I’d seen soooooo many people online saying they want more femslash fics, yet nobody was reading mine. Then I looked at the stats on other femslash fics and they were the same, really great fics were barely getting any hits or kudos. It kinda sucks knowing that an mlm fic I wrote in 3 hours got more kudos than a wlw fic I spent months on (for pairings of relatively equal popularity). This seems to be the biggest roadblock for people wanting to write femslash, no one supports it. Even tho fandoms claim they would support it, they never do. It’s something I’ve learned to stop caring about but not every writer is gonna push through

This brings me back to a comment I saw about “boring, hair-braidy wlw fics.” That description really stood out to me, and to this day it makes me feel a little self-conscious about my old femslash fics that were “boring” and “hair-braidy.” But then I came across a fic for this one pairing that had actual hair-braiding. It was incredibly well-written and meaningful, exploring how both characters struggled to ask for help but they were able to recognize each other’s dilemmas and help in subtle ways. They did this, of course, by fixing each other’s hair when they both felt helpless to do anything with it. Such a simple way to express a very deep bond. This made me reassess the way people talk about femslash fics, and the way I’d been thinking of them myself. Is fluff really that much of a crime?? Do all cottagecore-type fics really have no substance?? Do femslash fics have to copy exactly what slash fics are doing, or are they allowed to have their own tropes??

My attitude towards the overload of plotless fluff wlw fics is “this is a good starting point.” We need more people writing femslash, more variety in what is written, but that doesn’t mean what we have is bad. I critique wlw fic tropes a lot but I always give the disclaimer that I actually love the fics themselves, I just want to see more of a different thing. And I comment on every femslash fic I read (every fic I read in general but especially femslash), I try to leave something thoughtful to let the writer know I appreciate the effort they put into their work. You’d be surprised how many writers said they were encouraged to update a fic or write more femslash because of a positive comment I left them. Engaging with fics will give you more of a good thing. It has so much more influence than that video you’re about to make talking about how there’s no good femslash fics. When you say things like that it actually discourages people from writing, and makes them feel bad about things they’ve already written. Support femslash writers guys, it’s sexy

[lilacxquartz]

PRETTY LITTLE TRINKET

harpy shoko ieiri x f!reader

plot: while lost at sea, you find yourself saved by a monster yet unable to leave.

summary: as you recover, you find yourself bonding with a monster but her friends are cautious of your existence — a/n: this is yandere, so it will still feel unsettling at times.

chapter 2 of 5 • < previous chapter • next chapter > main masterlist • ao3

Chapter 2: Danger?

You stared at the bird-like, human-like hybrid that nestled before you with both caution and awe, battling between falling asleep and staying awake at the same time in a conflicting moment. Internally, your instincts begged for you to get away but your heart told you otherwise—claiming that this creature only wanted to help—to give in, to not fear the unknown.

As she woke up next to you, her attitude seemed almost… indifferent towards you, as if dissecting who you were, analysing your very being. It was ever so slightly unsettling, if you were honest but you tried hard to not let it bother you considering the bizarre circumstances otherwise.

Your eyes drifted around her form, taking in the coppery brown feathers that adorned her body with a sleek amber sheen; looking straight ahead into her deep, black eyes that you could have sworn absorbed all hope into exhausted nothingness and yet… there was a flicker of something just beyond what she let on.

Was it hope?

You couldn’t quite yet tell.

Slowly but surely over the last day or so, you worked with her to attempt to communicate that you couldn’t live the same way she could, only for her to share a common tongue with you. It was frustrating, but you had to wonder why she withheld such crucial information from you. There was otherwise the chattering from before, something akin to bird-like warbling and then there was an understanding, albeit with an outdated grasp of what you otherwise knew.

“Fire,” you repeated in an attempt to get her to understand, her initial response to the word was met with flinched retaliation, but as you continued to preach the requirement over and over, she warmed up to it. “I need… fire for warmth, to cook so that I can eat,” and just by looking at your leg, not knowing exactly what was going on beneath the bindings, you likely needed to cauterise the wound lest it got infected, too. You needed fire to do such a thing.

Tilting her head to the side, she then without warning leaned into your personal space with an intrigued sort of intensity. Her breath was warm against the cold air, generating a puff of steam as she spoke, “Fire… can’t happen,” she replied with a soft tone, tracing a path down your jaw with the back of her clawed finger, “you can get better with me.”

“But, but…” you piped up to argue, feeling ever stubborn, “I… humans,” you tried, pointing at yourself to convey understanding, “I need to cook my food and… and… I need warmth, I need to treat my wounds… I…”

Her eyes could only narrow as you listed off your demands for survival, seeming not quite annoyed but once again, perhaps a little apprehensive towards the admission of flames. She tried to help though, addressing one issue at a time, “Your wound?” she referenced first, lowering her hand and drumming a finger along the seaweed that wrapped around it. “It’s healing,” she stated as she unwound the makeshift gauze, revealing that it was looking quite better, almost impossibly so at the rate that had transpired, “it might feel… strange, because of the magic properties, so it tingles.”

You blinked, your brows knitting in slight confusion. “Magic…?” Were you dreaming, after all? Because otherwise, where exactly have you ended up where magic wasn’t just some make-believe concept found in stories?

She seemed to laugh a little at your surprise but nodded either way, her voice sounding assuring, “I can heal. It is my… ability. So you are safe with me.”

“O…kay,” you slowly replied, trying to accept the bizarre turn of events, the entire situation was already unreal, so you tried for now to accept the situation as it was laid out in front of you. “You’ll keep me healthy, right? But.. I still need warmth and the food issue…”

As you trailed off, she addressed the other point, aligning her body so that her form almost cuddled around you, enveloping you within her feathered form, her wings acting like plush blankets. You found yourself settling your back against her chest, finding that she provided a wealth of heat radiating from her being, surging an almost near-searing hotness that immediately stifled any goosebumps, that silenced any shivering.

“Oh…” you warily trailed off, “this… this is nice,” you admitted, settling into her body. In truth, you were still all sorts of terrified despite the comfort otherwise offered to you. You tended to run your mouth when you were nervous, never quite shutting up about what was happening around you, should an event be something you couldn’t understand nor feel safe in. It was a bad habit really, but you supposed that she didn’t see it as such, so this was already a pleasant change from what it was like back at home, where your inquisitive nature was often rather punished instead.

And instead of any conflicting response as you had so feared, this feathered creature didn’t once instruct nor snap at you to be quiet, nor even vaguely suggest it. Instead, she pulled you in tighter, allowing you to feel the full extent of the warmth she was capable of giving you. Although you couldn’t help but feel that there was something darker lurking beyond what she offered—at least when you caught fleeting glimpses of those eyes you couldn’t quite tear away from—no, there was something troubled deep down beyond what she let on, something… dangerous.

You tried your best to decipher the true meaning of what went on beyond that intensive stare but you couldn’t quite catch it. Instead, you just remained huddled tight against her, feeling as her fingers crept towards the seaweed, stroking delicate paths around the bindings until you felt something sharp. Her finger pushed a little too hard in, perhaps on accident, breaking through your tender skin. In response, you seethed out a whining gasp, jolting back in pained retaliation, at last snapping her out of the trance she seemed to be lost within.

“My apologies,” she replied in an almost blank tone before realising the extent of her damage, “I did not mean to…”

You furrowed your brows as you searched for a response, but before you could properly reply, she quickly parted away from you, covering you up in what made up her nest. Twigs, stray feathers, tufts of fur, and dried seaweed weaved over your body, planting her palms flat against your chest as a soft glow emitted from her own channeled healing energy. Slowly, you were lulled into what felt like a tired pull, something that anchored you toward an exhaustive state.

“Sleep,” she whispered, her voice like warm honey dripping smooth against your weary ears, “you will feel better again, and… I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Unable to fight the pull any longer, your eyes fluttered shut, feeling both in danger and yet comforted beyond your wildest comprehension at the same time.

~~~

Shoko ensured that you were secure and concealed within her nest, perfectly camouflaged and warm before she took a step back. She raised her fingernail that she scratched you with to her face, locking onto the remnants of your blood, feeling a surge of guilt sweep through her body.

You were just a human so why did she prolong your visit?

Sighing, she lept up and fluttered her wings with heavy fluttering beats, cruising herself back to the home island that wasn’t too far from the cliff she resided on. Surely, there must have been something edible that grew within the lush greenery that made up the land. Fire wasn’t an option, so perhaps something else would have to work for now. She tried to remember what humans liked, what they seemed to eat in contrast to her raw diet, understanding that you couldn’t eat the same way that she did, as frustrating as it was.

Slowly, she collected what looked to be suitable vegetation, but then she heard the landing whooshing flutter of the only two other beings that occupied the isles, scrambling slightly to hide the foraged contents under a cluster of fern nearby, pushing it back with her feet.

The first one landed first; a silvery bird-like man just like her with a sapphire sheen that reflected through his otherwise frosted feathers, regarding her with those stark crystal blue eyes that she had always found just a little bit unsettling. The other one followed suit, landing with a little less grace than his friend; the rolling gusts of wind generated from such heavy waves that the contents were revealed either way. She watched as he landed to a halt, pushing himself up from his knee to reveal his deep raven form with brooding amethyst eyes that stared right back at her.

“What are you up to?” the contrasting man spoke first in her own language; a complex string of cooing and chirping and whistling alike, his intense blue eyes catching wind of the fruits that gathered near where she stood. “What’s that?” he corrected his question, his voice adopting a playful edge as his curiosity got the better of him.

“It’s…” Shoko began, wondering where to even start.

Before she could continue though, he plucked a fruit from the ground, taking a bite and allowing for his expression to sour at the taste the second he processed it. “Ah,” he coughed, spitting out the contents onto the ground, “you wouldn’t like these, Sho.”

“It’s… not for me, Satoru,” she admitted with an unsure sigh, feeling apprehensive about revealing her findings—about revealing the concept of you.

“Then who is it for?” the darker-feathered man asked, his voice slightly more calculated, maybe even accusing as though sceptical about the company she kept.

“Do you have a new friend, Sho?” Satoru exclaimed with a thrilling buzz in his tone, almost naively so.

“You know we’re the only ones,” the other one replied, silencing his friend’s excitement before turning his sights back to her, “don’t tell me that they’re a…”

“Don’t question it too much Suguru,” Shoko replied, keeping her tone measured. “What I do in my own space isn’t for you to worry about.”

He scoffed a little, eying up the fruits and back to the direction she resided in. “Those pesky things had a wreck a while ago, that ship that littered itself into the seas. Surely you didn’t…?”

“A human?” Satoru interjected, seeming both curious and cautious at the same time. “But they…”

“Destroy,” Suguru completed his sentence for him, “they destroy, Satoru,” he then turned his sights back to Shoko, watching as she contemplated her next actions, his tone coming off as a little accusatory, but in his mind, rightfully so. “You know what those… things are capable of, right Shoko? Do you remember what they did to our home? I just can’t bring myself to understand… why you are looking after one… of… those?”

“I don’t know,” she murmured, “I just feel like there’s something different about this one.”

“Well,” Suguru sighed, “I’ll trust you to be careful,” he said as he gathered the fruits from the ground and gave them back to her one by one, “as long as you promise to return them at some point. You and I both know that they can’t stay here forever. They don’t belong here, after all.”

With that note, he lifted himself off the ground and flew away while Satoru lingered around for a moment longer, his playful demeanour fading away into something more sentimental, something more serious. “You have the best judgment out of all of us, you know? Whatever your decision is, even if Suguru doesn’t like it, will be the correct one, right?”

“Right,” she nodded, watching as he flew away too, leaving her with conflicted emotions as the weight of their words continued to linger in the air, inviting an almost suppressing aura of doubt. However, she too, soon returned to where she was prior, reuniting with you.

She emptied her findings in front of you, letting the contents spill over your lap as you slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep away from your eyes. Shoko stifled a snort as she watched you find something you were familiar with, digging into it with deep-rooted hunger, finding that she quite enjoyed your reactions.

Humans were something of an anomaly to her, maybe even to Satoru. She understood why Suguru was cautious, especially after the incident, but there was something different about you. She was sure of it.

Maybe it was the odd mannerisms or the way you spoke and seemed to fret over every little thing, how you annoyedly plucked out branches and twigs that poked through your clothes, how… perfectly content you were to cosy up to her when she got closer to you.

She watched on with curious intensity as you wiped your mouth, ready to speak.

“Can you… take me somewhere… more familiar?” you asked, trying to find the right words. “When I get better? I can figure my own way back… probably.”

The question however caught her off guard, remembering Suguru’s words about needing to return you. But that much was only when you were better, right? That could be reasonable enough of a condition. Her eyes flicked over to the crusted maroon that clung to the edge of her clawed fingers, adopting a deep, dark idea.

Loneliness had invited selfishness to manifest and now you were here. Ah, what a troubling thought, but… if it meant spending time with you for longer, then…

“Yes,” she replied with a sickly sweet tone, feigning a promise, “when you are ‘better’, then I can help you reconnect.”

Knowing that deep down, she wasn’t about to let you go back.

Not if she could help it.

this is part 3 of lilac’s bite sized yandere nightmares

[octuscle]

Body swap, not mind swap

Djamal dug his hands deep into the fat flesh of his customer. They said that Yuri was unimaginably rich. He was the very model of an oligarch. But he was also unbelievably fat. Djamal wondered why Yuri didn't just have fat suctioned out. Or at least take advantage of all the aids that would help him lose weight and stop puffing and panting like a walrus. Djamal's name meant “the beautiful” and his appearance was incredibly important to him. He thought to himself: better to be poor and beautiful than rich and a walrus.

Yuri had set his cell phone to speaker. He probably assumed that he could make a phone call undisturbed on the massage table on the terrace of his villa belonging to the hotel complex. He probably hadn't suspected that Djamal not only spoke the Arabic of his old and the French of his new home fluently, but also Russian. Russian clients in St. Tropez were the richest and most generous. To be able to serve this market, he had started to learn the language early on. And now he was hearing things he obviously wasn't supposed to hear. Because Yuri was in trouble. His liberal attitude, his good relations with the democracies of Western Europe and his critical attitude towards the military special operation had caused him to fall out of favor at home. Many of his Russian assets had apparently been seized or were about to be. Yuri lamented the fact that some paintings he had acquired from the depots of the Pushkin Museum would now fall back into the hands of the Russian state.

His conversation partner said that the preparations for Yuri's going underground were as good as complete. Now only the host was missing. Djamal had just found a tension point that he tried to release with a firm grip. Yuri said that his masseur could be a great host. “And would you like to be my host?” Yuri asked in Russian and laughed uproariously. “I'd love to, but my house is very modest,” Djamal replied. Yuri turned pale. ‘I'll call you later,’ he said. And even though Djamal was still working on his neck, the walrus turned around. ”You speak Russian? That's perfect! I have a business deal to offer you.”

It was 2:00 a.m. Djamal lay awake. The offer was too incredible to be true. Yuri wanted to swap bodies with him. In return, Djamal would receive €100,000,000.00 in an account that was frozen for five years. And full access to Yuri's body and life. Yuri was honest, it wouldn't be a walk in the park. He was being watched by the Russian secret service, tax authorities and God knows who else. He would probably have to give up almost everything except the €100,000,000.00 to save his life. But if he made it through the five years, he would be a rich man. A very rich man. However, he would also be a very fat man with a smoker's lung, a drunk's liver and broken knee joints. And Yuri would live a life of relative poverty, but in his own body. Djamal tossed and turned. This chance would never come again. Besides, the body swap wouldn't work anyway; it sounded like silly magic. Yes, this chance would never come again. Tomorrow he would make the pact with Yuri.

My God, what an unbelievably fat pig, Djamal thought to himself. Yuri had just polished off a large bowl of caviar, washing it down with Roederer Cristal. “And?” Yuri asked, looking as bored as possible. He was far from bored. It was a matter of life and death. “Done,” Djamal said, shaking His enormous paunch wobbled. What a pig, Djamal thought again. But now the deal is done.

Yuri's lawyer had done a great job. Djamal had to sign dozens of contracts. Most of them were with some offshore companies. Yuri's name was nowhere to be found. But after three days, Djamal was a damn rich man. His fortune consisted of real estate in Uruguay, shares in the Cayman Islands and a chain of gyms in Egypt. Djamal was no billionaire. But he was filthy rich. However, he wouldn't be Djamal for much longer. It hadn't been a week since he and Yuri had been on a private jet on the way to Tehran. An old Mercedes sedan took them to a villa hidden behind high walls and a large park in the north of the megacity. There were no explanations; there was just an envelope on the desk in his bedroom. For the next 24 hours, only water from the bottles provided, otherwise, remain sober. Djamal grinned. If the same applied to Juri, it would certainly be a greater challenge for him than for Djamal. He should stay in his room for the next 24 hours. There was satellite TV, internet and a Playstation, so he would survive that. And tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. he would be picked up for “treatment”. Djamal tried to distract himself from his excitement as much as possible. He did sit-ups to relieve the tension. He tried to sleep. Eventually he managed to do that. And eventually his cell phone rang. 7:30 a.m. Showtime.

The young man who picked him up didn't say a word. Djamal was supposed to leave everything in his room. The note said that he should only wear the surgical gown and slippers. He did as he was told. They went down in an elevator. The door opened into a futuristic-looking room. Juri was already lying on a table. His flabby body spilled over the edge on the right and left. He was obviously asleep. Djamal lay down on the couch next to Juri. Someone inserted a cannula into him. That was the last thing he was supposed to see. At least in his body.

When Djamal woke up, he was lying in a bed. The room looked similar to the one where he had played with the Playstation a while ago. Djamal urgently needed to go to the toilet. He wanted to jump out of bed. But he couldn't. Almost 200 kilograms of body fat were holding him back. It was a challenge to get out of bed. It was a challenge to go to the bathroom. But it was a huge challenge to look in the mirror. This was no longer the fit fitness trainer. This was a fat man. And with rings under his eyes and disheveled hair, he looked even more terrible than the Juri he knew from the Cote d'Azur. Djamal, no Yuri, looked around the bathroom. It was full of creams, serums and lotions. It looked like the cosmetics department of a luxury department store. Yuri didn't care about any of that. What use were all these luxury cosmetics to him in this body? Maybe a shower would help. Maybe he could go for a walk afterwards. Yuri showered and went back to his room with only a very large towel around his fat hips. There was a knock at the door. “Come in,” Yuri said in Arabic. Sasha entered. Sascha was Yuri's chauffeur and bodyguard. “All right, boss?” he asked in Russian. Sure, he was Russian. “All right, comrade,” replied Yuri. Sasha smiled irritably. And then he began to explain to his boss what was going to happen next. Breakfast would be served in a moment. Then his butler would come and pack his suitcase. In three hours, the helicopter would take them to the airport. Where they would then go. Yuri remembered the consultations with the old Yuri. “Tbilisi,” he replied. “Business!”

After showering, having some fruit and green tea for breakfast and sitting in a tailor-made suit in his private jet, Yuri felt a little more comfortable in his own skin. Okay, the few steps from the helicopter to the private jet had been exhausting. But he would get back into shape. Faster than he would have liked. As soon as they had left Iranian airspace, they were accompanied by two Russian fighter jets. She would not fly to Tbilisi. They would fly to Baku. And there she would be received by an envoy of the Kremlin. His jet and his luggage had been confiscated. And Yuri would be placed under house arrest. In a guest house of the Azerbaijani government.

Old Yuri would rage. At the Russians' audacity. At the collaboration of the Azeris! At the unworthy conditions in the shabby guesthouse, which was idyllically situated on the Caspian Sea. On board the plane, there had only been Sasha, the pilot and the flight attendant. But he was separated from Yuri. Yuri was alone and on his own. In a not particularly large house with a sea view. He was prepared for the fact that pressure would be put on him. That he should cede all claims to his assets in Russia and its satellite states. That he would have to pay a ransom for his own freedom. Yuri would have liked to consult with someone. But he no longer had a telephone, he was cut off from the world. So he did what he had done before: sports.

For a full four weeks, Yuri was locked up in his rather gilded cage. Then a “prosecutor” appeared and presented Yuri with various documents to sign. Yuri had no idea what he even owned. But it looked as if not much of it would remain. In fact, there was even a passage that stipulated that any mobile and immobile assets that would become known in the next three years would also be confiscated. Yuri was compensated with his apartment in Zurich, one million Swiss francs, and the luggage that he had had on board his plane. And he would be allowed to use this plane one last time for the flight to Zurich. Just under five years… He had to endure just under five years in these, for him, not particularly modest circumstances. And after that, he would get the secret account. And be incredibly rich. Yuri signed.

Obviously, he hadn't gotten all of his baggage back. Sasha, who was flying with him to Zurich, had helped himself to his jewelry and watches. It wasn't his. And Sasha had never been his confidant. But he knew that old Yuri would have been incredibly disappointed in his chauffeur and bodyguard. The new Yuri was just disgusted by a collaborator, who was now adorned with Yuri's tasteless gold jewelry. Yuri himself looked miserable. Thanks to plenty of exercise and a healthy diet, he had lost almost 40 kilograms in the four weeks. His tailored clothes hung on him like sacks. When they arrived in Zurich, Sascha Juri was taken to passport control with his suitcases and bags. He still had his Swiss passport, so entering the country was a mere formality. He had enough money for the taxi ride. And then he found himself sitting in a tacky apartment, which he would hardly be able to afford to keep with the little money he still had, and he began to make plans. He booted up the computer and googled “compression garments in XXXL”. And then he set out on a long and sweat-inducing walk.

Djamal was still in good shape and athletic. But for the owner of one of the largest fitness studio chains in the Middle East, he was not fit enough. He had heard wonderful things about the club's head personal trainer. And indeed, Yuri was one of the best in his field. “My Life Without 300 Pounds” had become a global bestseller. And his fitness channel was one of the most successful of an influencer over 50. Djamal was unsure. “Have we met?” he asked. “Vaguely,” replied Juri.

[kakiastro]

Which area in your life will Pluto Aquarius transform? Through the houses

The houses in your birth chart represents the area in your life.

Pluto is the planet that rules over massive transformations, it tears everything down to rebuild it into something better than what you had before.

Aquarius is considered the “freedom sign” the house that Aquarius rules is the place where you will feel free. It’s also the area where you don’t follow the rules and do your own thing.

1h

You as a person is going to be going through a massive change. Considering this is a 20 year transit, it make sense. How you view yourself now won’t be nowhere near the same in 20 years. Matter of fact, as you read this, you won’t remember this version of because it’s going to be so different. Your overall outlook is going to change, how you see those around will be different. Your physical appearance may change and I’m not talking about the natural body changes; no, I’m talking about you getting tattoos when didn’t have them before, dyeing your hair all sorts of colors, there’s a rebellious attitude towards your appearance. You’ll learn to stand up for yourself during this time as well! The 1h is the house of Aries so you’ll have ppl testing you, talk to a Pluto 1h native, they’ll know what I’m talking about LoL, but you’ll learn to stick up for yourself.

2h

How you view and take care of your finances will be different! This can play out multiple ways; maybe you’ll learn some harsh lessons on not overspending and learning how to save. You may have struggled with your finances, and start to see a mass improvement as time go on with this transit. Are you worthy? Is the question you’ll ask your self a lot. Your self worth and how you deal with that will be a big theme for you. Pluto rules over our deepest fears, it’ll force you to look within on where did you get these insecure fears from and you’ll do lots of shadow work. Let me tell you though, once you get past your fears and know your worth!! Chile, you’ll be a bad bitch haha. This is also the physical home, you may move to a new house, or redecorating your current place.

3h

You better speak your truth! The way you process your thoughts and communicate will go through a huge transformation! The 3h is how we talk to people, the things we constantly think about and love to discuss. With Pluto being in this house, you may take a deep dive in learning about whatever topic you’re interested in. 3h also rules over education, you’ll be wanting learn a lot of new things but you want to learn it in depth! You will get to know the depths of your mind. 3h also rules our siblings, teachers and co-workers so expect them to go through lots of changes from your point of view. You may move into a new type of neighborhood that you would’ve never expected to live in.

4h

Chile, your whole private life is about to change. The 4h is the home but it’s the part of our life that we don’t share with others unless they’re close to you. Your home (inside) will drastically change, you may start a family (if you wish), have a family member move in with you. You may move altogether and start fresh. Your family dynamic will change as well, this isn’t always a bad thing either! Aquarius is known as a chain breaker, you may break lots of generational traumas during this time especially if you have the mother wound. The 4h represents our emotional state, Pluto is going to make you feel those emotions hunny, it’s going to a lot of deep emotions as well.

5h

🎵Oh sweet child of mine🎵 it’s time to start healing your inner child wounds. The next 20 years, you’ll will remember what I’ll be like to be a kid and fun again! You may have been ostracized or called the weirdo kid growing up which left you some unhealed wounds. No more hiding, it’s time to express your authentic self to the world my friends! What were some of the things you liked as child? Revisit that. If you’re a creative, the world needs to see your talent, your ideas and projects can help others whether physically or through inspiration. If you have children or want too in the they can help you bring out that inner child again, hell it don���t have to be your child, it can be your niece, nephew or local neighborhood kids that can teach you to lighten up!

6h

🎵now get this work in, working on my sh!&t!🎵 is the theme for you the next 20 years. Now let me be clear, working doesn’t always have to mean your job but just being a busy body in your everyday life! The 6h rules over our daily routines. Pluto is about to disrupt all that lol but maybe the routine you’ve been practicing isn’t healthy for you? You’ll learn what routine works for and you’ll probably have several ones throughout the years because it is a 20 years transit lol. Also your health! Pluto is about to get a lot of people with this placement a reality check when it comes to health, please take care of yourselves. Aquarius rules the nerves and ankles so stretch them and try not to let stress take you out either. I have a Pluto 6h (different sign)natally so I know this placement well. Pets! You may feel inclined to get pets that’s known as guard animals for the home. You may have co-workers(supervisors and managers)that may grow envious or jealous of you. Until you trust them then stay private.

7ħ

I just went through this transit myself and whew! It’s been a doozy! You’re going to meet people who’s going to test you, your transformation is through other people. The 7h is all close relationships so that means your family, your partner, since it’s in Aquarius, that means even strangers in person and online. You may end up with a few partners who’s going to change your whole outlook on relationships and what you want in them. You’ll meet people who’s going to want to work/collaborate with you and some may work out, some not but you’ll learn valuable lessons, Can I trust you? Is the question you’ll be asking several times. If you’re a business owner or if you want to be, you may pursue that during this transit. I started my astrology journey with this page while Pluto was in this house.

8h

The good news is that Pluto is home here so really Pluto is just redecorating his own house lol. Your views on sex and what sex means to you may change. You may have ppl be more open when it comes to sex. Trust! Trusting others in a deep vulnerable way will be a huge theme for you. Vulnerability maybe a tough thing for you to show to people. You may have been shunned emotionally growing up. With Pluto coming back home, you will learn that not everyone is your enemy, it’s okay to open yourself up to those closest to you. Aquarius is the people sign so you’ll about to meet all sorts of people who will challenge you to trust. Your intuition, psychic gifts will also increase as well! You may have futuristic visions and dreams about the collective.

9h

Whatever your personal beliefs or philosophies are, yeah… they’re about to go through a huge rebuild. You will go through things that’s going to change what and who you believe in. You can also still have these beliefs but will have a different view on it due to whatever situations you will be put in. You may start traveling abroad to “taboo” or “non popular” destinations. Maybe you visit a certain country where their culture is known for their funeral/death practices and you want to experience seeing one, something taboo like that. This also ties in to gaining higher knowledge about the world. You’ll want to study the underline or hidden from society parts. Maybe you’ll study a religion but from an occult lenses if that makes sense.

10h

Change in career! You may gain some power in whatever field you’re in. That power could be higher position, having stronger connections or just having the power to stand up to the higher up. People may start to feel intimidated by you even if you don’t feel intimidating. You will start to take yourself seriously and what I mean by that is you’ll start realize you will recognize you are a powerful person. You will feel empowered, people will feel empowered by you. You’re transforming into the Boss. How you manage your life will be more private, which will give you a mysterious aura.

11h

The era of networking! You will meet people who you will you can collaborate with. You may meet ppl during random times in your life. 11h is Uranus energy so you may have few new friend circles over the years. Ppl will come and go in your life. They will make you want to level up, however that may be. This is the house of wish fulfillments. You will have an intense focus on building and working on your dreams and wishes. It may come off as obsessive to a point. The 11h is also the house of collective wealth, things you’ve earned over the years finally building. How you view society as a whole especially online will be different, I think being more private online will be beneficial to you.

12h

Buy you a dream journal or get a notebook to track your dreams! Anytime a planet enters the house of the subconscious mind, expect some crazy dreams. With Pluto being the planet, expect heavy dreams. You may have prophetic dreams about the collective (people). This is a time where you explore the depths of your whole being. The 12h rules over our subconscious mind, things buried and hidden will boil to the surface. This is also the spiritual house, you may be going through lots of spiritual awakening or the new age phrase “dark night of soul” you will do lots of healing and become empowered if you do the work. 12h also rules over past lives, so Pluto will bubble up those past life traumas, karmic patterns. Your psychic gifts will strengthen, you may unlock gifts you didn’t know you had. Powerful time for you!

[crystalelemental]

Character Analysis - Carmine and Kieran

I have been trying to write something on this for the majority of the week and haven't been able to organize it in a way I like. So this will not be coherent, but since I've had my second go through the DLC story, I have...a lot more to say on Carmine and Kieran.

Seeking Strength Kieran's big focus by the end is on not being strong enough, and needing to become stronger than you. I think it's largely accepted that this is to defeat you, that he has it out for the protagonist. I disagree.

Consider why strength is important, and when it became clear. The first time Kieran mentions strength, it's in front of the ogre's cave. He talks about wanting to battle, thinking maybe that could impress the ogre. And he loses. Which is whatever, the ogre didn't show. But then it does. To you, and to his sister, but not to him. Internally, the connection is clear: the ogre doesn't trust me, because it sees me as weak.

This goes back even further, though. Think about your introduction to him. Carmine battles you to kick you out, and you win. Carmine's response here is interesting. She comments on everything, and actively makes fun of you if you use a not very effective attack, snarking that you must not know your type matchups after all. She oozes confidence and control, to excess. But when she loses, there's a bit of a fist shake, but rather than anger, she turns away and looks...sad. Losing upsets her, and while she bounces back, that moment suggests a deeper vulnerability and need to seem strong.

And to Kieran, she does. She's constantly in control, and by and large, he seems to follow her pace. If she asks him to do something, and by asks I mean tells, he generally follows through. And he saw someone beat her. There's someone stronger than his sister now. And that's interesting. I think there's a lot more to it, but I'll save that for a later section. For now, the point is, Kieran's always been focused on strength, because he admires Carmine's strength, and wants to be more like that.

I think this recontextualizes your final fight a bit, too. Carmine tells Kieran that he can't make Ogerpon go with him, she has her own will to choose. Kieran still insists he needs this battle, and it seems like the perception of this is "he's ignoring it." But I don't think he is. At this point, he's lost multiple times, each time thinking it's his lack of strength that resulted in him not getting what he wanted. It was, at first, to meet and befriend the ogre. And yeah, he'd still like to. He's still trying, given the stipulations of the fight. But he's also fighting for his sense of self-worth. He feels he's not strong enough, and that lack of strength is holding him back. He's seen his sister lose twice now, yet she's still confident. But he lost, and feels like he's losing more of what little he had to start with.

Belonging and Isolation Carmine's hostility toward outsiders is, as expressed, a matter of feeling like her hometown is becoming a tourist trap. I think what often gets missed in this is that Carmine herself is...fairly traditional. She cares about the customs of the village, the sanctity of the crystal pool, and the prominence of the Loyal Three. She even remarks that obviously she likes the three better, Kieran just likes the ogre because he's a ten year old boy and they're always into weird monster things. She considers integration with the village something important, and deep down, cares about it as a whole.

That's not to say she gets along with everyone. The Caretaker seems more than happy to make the conversion if it helps the town thrive, and Carmine actively disagrees with that. Her hostility is clear to us, and she makes her reason known, but it's not clear how much the villagers seem to understand this. They tend to treat Carmine's responses as part of an attitude problem, more than anything. The Caretaker is pre-emptive in calling out Carmine to get along with everyone. They know she's not happy about it, but expect her to just deal with it, and kinda treat her like they expect problems. Calling them the "Lousy Three" gets an almost exasperated comment about her attitude and a correction, like they fully expect her to be this way, and don't consider the why behind it.

By contrast, Kieran...successfully talks them into abandoning their ancient beliefs and understanding of the past in the course of a single afternoon.

For all the emphasis on Kieran seeming lonely, and I do believe he himself feels that way, Kieran...seems pretty well accepted by people. Think about how significant it is that they're willing to listen to him, with such seriousness, that they'll believe him when he says their understanding of history is wrong.

I think this plays into an interesting dichotomy with the siblings. On the one hand, Kieran is pretty well accepted, but genuinely lonely. On the other, Carmine seems perfectly fine being by herself, and doesn't seem to interface well with the others. But when you look at what they want? Kieran doesn't seem to care that he runs contrary to everything the village stands for. The ogre is cool, he likes that best, and sees little of interest or value in the three. He doesn't really care to integrate with the village. But Carmine does care, and isn't successful at it. By all accounts, she doesn't seem to have friends either. But when a new kid rolls in, and her brother takes an interest in them, she still focuses on him first.

Justice and Fairness Carmine is, at her core, pretty focused on what's right. Despite being more aligned with tradition in her village, when her grandfather reveals the truth, she's immediately furious on Ogerpon's behalf. She has no reservations about telling the rest of the village, until he appeals to her sense of reason, and she understands where the concern might be.

Carmine's reactive, but she's not a fool. She's pretty grounded, but in that way where I think it causes her to miss some things and seem unconcerned with feelings. But she does care about how people feel; quite a bit, really. When Kieran tries to give his ogre mask to you, Carmine intervenes and tells him not to. That's his favorite mask, and he shouldn't have to go without. Besides, practically speaking, we just buy the new kid a mask they like at the festival. It's pragmatic. But it also misses that Kieran was okay with sharing his mask for his friend. She cares about his feelings, enough to worry about him giving up something he cares about. But it's in a more...avoidant sense. More on that later.

By contrast, Kieran seems focused more on fairness. It doesn't matter the reason or intent, you left him out of what you knew. You didn't tell him about the ogre. You ran off with Carmine and pushed him aside, and that's not fair. He was your friend first, and he cared about the ogre first, and it isn't fair that suddenly that all doesn't matter. In that sense, he's very emotional, but doesn't really consider the rational cause of things. It's all about how he feels. This runs very counter to how Carmine is, being very emotional, but focusing more on the practical reason than how she's feeling.

I think you can also see this in how they express themselves. Kieran has no trouble opening up the instant you're on your own with him. He'll tell you all about how he thinks the ogre is cool, and that he was only scared of getting yelled at for going to the mountain. But Carmine legitimately struggles with it. She has a tough time being honest with people, and her sense of what being mean to someone is, boils down to "I didn't hit him." It's as if she doesn't really understand that her words can hurt people, or perhaps why someone would be hurt by them. The idea of "What you're saying was rude" is secondary to the practical outcome. If it's true, it doesn't matter how I say it. If it's what has to happen, it doesn't matter that it comes out as "Kiki, get out of here." Her mentality seems to be that she knows best, and is going to act on that, and there's no reason for people to be upset with her if she's right.

Sibling's Bond In one of the earliest scenes, we get a very good sense for the dynamic the siblings have. Kieran has taken an interest in the player, but barely speaks to them, turning his face away and not even listening to them. Carmine intervenes by explaining what he's thinking and asking for you to battle on his behalf. Kieran shies away, Carmine takes control, and Kieran is more than willing to cede that control to her. In this situation, it works out, as he gets to spend time with a new friend. It is the first, and only, time this dynamic works in their favor.

Every other instance of this particular dynamic coming into play hurts more than helps. When Carmine interrupts you talking about the ogre, and insists Kieran not find out, that's her assuming control like usual. Same with telling him to just leave the next morning. Kieran shies away from staying to help with the mask quest, rather than confront that someone else gets along better with Ogerpon. This is a dynamic they've had for a long while, and there is evidence to prove it.

"I hate when he gets like this." Carmine's clearly annoyed, but the phrasing evokes the sense that this isn't just something that happened before, it's happened often. And she's not happy about it. Kieran running off crying is the only time she really expresses anything truly negative about her brother, and it's telling of what she herself can't handle.

If Kieran's crying, it's because something's bothered him, and as the one who takes care of him, that feels like it's her fault. I talked about how Carmine is integrated with the beliefs of the village, if not its people, but there's a bit more to it. Carmine's generally apathetic about whether people like her, she's more concerned with being right, and doing right. Carmine cares about being a good person. And if her brother's throwing a fit, it's putting her in the position of the bad guy, and criticisms about being nice to him evoke an outrage. "It's not like I hit him" isn't just telling of her lack of awareness for how her words come across, it's indignation that her grandfather is implying she's at fault. Kieran crying is the one thing that she cannot tolerate.

And for Kieran, that makes it a very effective play. Because I keep going, I need to be clear: I am not saying Kieran is being manipulative. He's like ten, and highly emotional. He's not sitting around thinking that if he just cries, Carmine will do whatever he wants. He's just having an emotion, and Carmine has a reaction. It's the dynamic that turns this into a recurring feature of their relationship.

The behavioral term is Negative Reinforcement: an outcome that increases the chance of the behavior occurring in the future, by removing an aversive stimulus. When Kieran wants something, and it doesn't happen, he'll get emotional and cry. Carmine, feeling guilty or responsible, folds to make him stop. The initial aversive - not getting what he wants - is removed as a consequence of his crying, making it more likely to occur again. But the same is true for Carmine. She cannot stand that crying, so when she gives in, the crying stops, reinforcing capitulation.

It's a situation where neither is really at fault. They're both kids, and have that sibling dynamic. Older siblings take care of the younger ones. When you have an older sibling who feels responsible for the wellbeing of the younger, and cares deeply about taking care of them without knowing the difference between "helping them do it" and "doing it for them," you get Carmine. When you have a younger sibling who is particularly emotional and withdrawn alongside them, you get Kieran.

And the DLC is the breakdown of this dynamic.

Another really fun behavioral term: Extinction Burst. Extinction refers to when reinforcement is removed as a consequence of a behavior. Effectively, you decouple the behavior and what typically happens. An extinction burst is the oft emotional blowup that comes as a result of a behavior no longer meeting its typical, expected reinforcer. Think about when your computer won't turn on. How many times mashing the button does it take before you check the power cord? Do you stay calm during that or start cursing it out, maybe worrying that something's broken and desperately hoping it turns on if you just hit it right, or hold it long enough? That's the extinction burst in play.

That's what's going on with Kieran. He's finding his independence, but as part of that, he's learning what it means to have it. Sometimes things don't go your way, and you have to live with that. Even crying won't get the situation to change now, and he...hasn't figured out what else to do. Unintentionally, by handling things for him, Carmine's left him in a situation where he's unequipped to manage circumstance. All he can think is pushing for strength, and battling you over and over and over in hopes that this time, he'll win.

By contrast, Carmine's doing...really well. She adapts well, makes quick friends with the player as well, assumes a sort of leadership role in the quest, and demonstrates the reality that for all her bluster, she does care and is fairly well adjusted. She's had the experience to manage frustrations and setbacks, even if they're difficult, to the point that by the end of your last battle, she can earnestly smile and congratulate you. Her dynamic with you is thriving. And, for a while, your dynamic with Kieran was too, before his perception of inadequacy interferes. It's sad but worth noting: the happiest we see either of them is when they're away from each other.

I don't have any profound thoughts beyond this, nor guesses to how Indigo Disk might play out. But I think it's interesting how they managed to create a story with a compelling conflict, where these is no true "bad guy." I was initially kinda down on the DLC, I felt like the legendary stuff was kinda bland. But I've really come around on these two, and look forward to the next part.

[polufabrikat-na-vilke]

Thoughts about Diavolo and Doppio

Introducion

All that ton of text exists because I didn't believe it was DID since my first time watching and reading Golden Wind. Literally from the first time seeing their actions and interactions, I thought it looked more like some sort of supernatural thing than that condition, to which I only found more confirmation as I watched. I still want to call the following examples thin, since there is a very high probability that Araki was simply going way too wild with all this mystical mysterious secrecy of the antagonist, and everything that I will give may turn out to be just the fattest wicked technique for exaggerating this, but I want to express my thoughts nonetheless. Plus, I think it might be a narrative trick after all, so I may turn out to be right in the end of the day.

Point

So, let's get it straight: the theory is that there's no DID in that story, Diavolo is not an alter-ego, but something else and probably not a human at all. And now to the specifics.

Let's start from afar: his (to make it easier to read, I'm talking about Diavolo in a generally accepted way) mother, in her words, became pregnant from an unknown man who died 2 years before his birth, and, moreover, she has been sitting in isolation from the outside world for 2 years, in a specifically women's prison without any men at all. AND, MOREOVER, the anime adaptation shows that the fetus develops in just a few hours (I’ll say a few more words about the validity of David's version later). Well, it’s impossible, well, it’s a huge nonsense, even if we consider from a seemingly scientific point of view of this universe, with which Araki tried to explain, for example, the change in physical parameters when switching egos. Here's mystical supernatural shit number 1.

Further. This particular point is relevant only for anime adaptation. Unfortunately, I haven’t found any data on how much Araki took part in its creation, I confess, but I have the right to assume that if it was approved by him and released the way we see it, it is quite a canon by which we can argue. It came out after the manga and this is quite possibly a more correct representation of events from the point of view of canon details. In the same scene, after birth, the baby's eye color momentarily changes from hazel to red, then back. This move, I want to note, is often used to show a character’s possession, usually with supernatural forces or the like. Yes, it is also used to refer to a "second personality" or some hidden nature of a character, but newborns do not have DID, it is a disorder that develops after severe repeating trauma. Mystical supernatural shit number 2.

We smoothly move on to the extreme turbidity and ambiguity of DID, and I’m not even going to talk about body changes when switching. So, DID develops, as, by the way, even in the original source is noted, as a result of a deep shock or trauma. A person dissociates from the traumatic experience, which, if severe and repetative to the point when their mind can't really survive it, results in violation of an identity integrity. It does not develop immediately and is noticeable to others, while commonly not being noticable to a person expiriensing it. And what do we see on this topic there? Nothing, only Doppio shows symptoms of dissociation, and only in situations where something threatens to expose the boss’s identity (or in other situations related to him, that’s the only way), which is strange, because I can’t even imagine such a trauma can be (i.e., it becomes a chicken-and-egg paradox: the trauma, in theory, should be related to the boss, to alter, but without the trauma there should be no boss, no alter). Other trauma is either not shown, which is a serious omission from the script, because this is no longer a mystery, but a hole, or it simply does not exist, because in the village, as far as can be seen, the attitude towards him was near normal, and his foster father is caring and loving, and has a trusting relationship with him (judging by the phrase casually thrown by the drivers from a flashback with his youth, where they warn him not to complain about an accident on the road to the priest, which seems to refer to the fact that this has already happened at least once before, and as if he would hardly have gone to him to complain if he did not trust him). Mystical supernatural shit number 3.

The same muddy and unclear story with his mother under the floor. Why is she there? For what is she there? How did she survive there? But who would know. In my opinion, it looks like some kind of some ritual-related bullshit, or at least a sacrifice to something, but I don’t undertake to make any special statements or comments here, I’m just noting and thinking. Mystical supernatural shit number 4.

Let's get to non-flashback events. POSSIBLY Diavolo is able to influence Doppio's consciousness (which does not happen in the opposite direction). This is indicated by the latter’s holy faith in the fact that he is talking to his boss on real work phones, well, that’s how he sees them, as well as the clouding and memory lapses that suddenly occur after the end of the call, which is strange, but still convenient for Diavolo, what a goddamn lucky coincidence, huh? I don't think alters are able to perform such tricks. Mystical supernatural shit number 5.

In the SCR arc, characters mutually switch bodies with closest persons. What's going on with Diavolo in that situation? He, like a self-respecting individual soul newly revealed to the audience (!), not like everyone else, not like a sucker, "attached" to someone else’s soul (it was kind of similar with Doppio before), and for time secretly sit happily in one body for two. And now, this is no longer a person suffering from DID (that is, a soul with, in our case, an ego split in two (that's PSYCHE thing)), but a whole separate being, moreover, also capable of ruling his soul as he pleases. Mystical supernatural shit number 6.

We will need some of the things from the previous point now. At the end of the arc of Ciocolatta and Secco, Diavolo not only immediately knows from somewhere that Bruno can only see souls, but he also, in order to make Doppio look like Trish for him, lends him a fucking piece of his (let me remind you, separate, like we have already found out) soul. A piece of his soul, God damn it! He (again) not only knows some unreal information about souls, he, as already said, is able to manipulate at least his own. Mystical supernatural shit number 7.

His eyes (iris and pupil), already extremely unique in themselves, are the eyes of his entity, but not his body. When he takes control of someone's body it is visible, when Bruno is in his body it is visible. Worth a mention. Mystical supernatural asshole number 8.

The last, probably the most interesting mystical, but not so supernatural screw-up lies in a small detail: when the souls of the characters in the final battle return back to their bodies, we are shown all of them, except for Diavolo's (well, more precisely they showed King Crimson as it, but this doesn't count (otherwise Diavolo is KC, lol)). Coincidence? I don't think so. More likely it was done on purpose, and this is not even attributed to the supposedly yet another creation of an aura of mysticism around his personality - at this point we seem to already know very well what he looks like... Or we don't, actually?

Conclusion

That's all, actually. The bottom line is the same: Diavolo is something supernatural, I don’t presume to say what he is exactly. This is probably all the fairly significant evidence (meaning those that are less than half conjecture) that I had. There were a lot of strange things in JoJo, inspired by some things from the real world, and then blown up to the point of "incredibility," but here they tried to tie it into some kind of pseudoscientific nonsense that I didn’t believe in. In any case, this is not the first "spirit" in this universe (it’s worth remembering Anubis), so this theory, I think, is more than valid.

So thank you for reading, it's open for discussion, since we'll never know the truth for sure (DID was the assumption of the characters of Vento Aureo, and they called it "assumption" themselves (I want to believe with all my soul Araki fooled everyone, being an unreliable narrator so Diavolo will be even more of an enigma)).

[crepes-suzette-373]

Germa's Ancestors

(+ Shandora connection?)

This is a kind of long theory post. I feel like at some point it would make more sense to narrate this as audio/video, because I think people don't like walls of text.

Anyway, bear with me for now, this is a long post.

I want to begin by analysing this scene:

To my knowledge, the phrase 無念の魂 is very specifically only applicable to the souls of the dead, and you can't use it to say souls/spirit in a euphemistic sense. E.g "put my soul into my work", or something like "the spirit of the age". I did my best to check various examples of usage, and far as I can find it really just means dead people.

In that case, then the dialogue about 300 years in the raw would mean "To think that I entrusted you with 300 years' worth of my kingdom's regretful souls".

"Regretful souls" is, as it says, the souls of people who died with a lot of regrets or resentment. It's quite a different sense from "longing".

Also another thing, he says 合わせる顔もない about the dead. This isn't "disgracing their memory". This is "I'm so ashamed (of myself/my failure) that I cannot face them", hence the "I despise myself" dialogue that comes after. It didn't really specify a word for "direct ancestor" so I assume he meant all people of Germa of the past.

So... this could be either/or, but if failing to restore Germa = regrets, and supposedly people there have been dying in regret for 300 years, then it sounds like wanting to restore Germa was the people's dream ever since their destruction.

Though, that is still open to interpretation. It doesn't have to mean "reconquering North Blue" really was the goal that was passed down through generations. Maybe actually the ancestors just wanted to have some land again, but over the years that goal becomes corrupted and twisted.

Or all of that was just crazy talk and the ancestors never actually wanted this. Who knows?

(I do apologise to anyone who really don't like Judge for putting this stuff on your dash, but he's kind of the only one who ever actually said anything substantial about Germa history, and for analysis purposes he has to be in there)

Also a little conspiratorial bent.

The dialogue text said that the souls cannot return to their homeland, it strongly implies the land is just completely obliterated. It's similar to how the Shandians said that their ancestors no longer has a place to return after the sacred trees were cut down.

Germa, or at the very least Judge, has a similar attitude towards the ancestors as the Shandians. Perhaps not quite to the point of worshipping them as gods, but Judge view the past dead of Germa with deep respect.

I feel like it's hinted that "Moon = high technology", as shown by the robots on the moon that Enel saw in the cover story. I've made theories before speculating that Germa is thematically connected to the moon, but maybe they actually literally are related to the moon via one of the moon tribes that descended to the Earth.

I'm not sure how canon it is, but one of the Data Books had said that Skypieans don't actually have wings. Their wings are just costume/decoration.

Assuming this is real (Data Books and Vivre Cards are sometimes wrong), are there humans in the world who are actually descendants of Skypieans? After all if they literally have no wings, then they would look no different from regular humans. Skypieans didn't really have an obvious strong ancestral worship like the Shandians, but perhaps there is some shared culture that we don't know.

That, or possibly somehow the Shandians' wings are also fake. In the moon murals you can see that the Birkans' wings are differently-shaped from the other two. If the Skypiean wing is fake, who's to say that the Shandian one isn't?

Also, an interesting thing is that the Shandian ancestor seems to be the one making the robots, while the Birkan is either observing or giving instructions. So the Shandian ancestor is at least some form of engineer. Curious.

On that note, the people of Wano also deeply respect their ancestors, as real Japanese people do. They have curious Princess Kaguya hints, as well as strong prevalence of moon symbols all over.

As I noted in my analysis of honorifics, Skypieans, Wano, and Germa all share the 上 honorific usage. This is an unusual honorific that no other kingdoms in the world seem to use. Aside from the above 3, only the merfolk royalty and the Tenryuubito use them.

It could be that it's simply "archaic language" even in the One Piece universe, and it just fell out of use in most of the kingdoms. It still makes me wonder if there are actually a lot of humans who have blood ties to the moon tribes that isn't revealed yet as well.

I've also previously mentioned that young Judge has a "Kabuki face" that reminds me of Kin'emon, but I didn't consider that Kalgara also kind of looks like that too. It might just be design coincidence, but maybe it actually means something, I don't know.

[gravitysaint]

okay okay okay, i’m on my premium bullshit today. take a seat and grab a coffee because this is gonna be a long one

i have a theory for the Magnus Protocol, and I am so not normal about it that I need to rant. Spoilers ahead for literally any part of the show from ep. 1 to ep. 23

Okay so, with this latest case, i think the supernatural shenanigans of Protocol have less to do with the Fears and more to do with self-image and identity

A bunch of cases have been about this—I won’t go on about all of them, just a few that i think either really point towards this or that i think can be seen as decently convincing when looked at another way.

The most obvious ones, to me, are Episodes 2, 16, and 23.

In 2, ‘Making Adjustments,’ the artist is literally reshaping herself to fit with her image of her “ideal self.” She’s pushing the “her” she wants to be out into the real world. It doesn’t escape my notice that Ink5oul is involved—don’t worry, I have words about them later.

In 16, ‘Anti-Social,’ Madam E (another Ink5oul victim/canvas) becomes wrapped up in her online identity and image—comments physically affect them, and when those turn into a stream of hate… well, it breaks her heart.

In 23, ‘A New You,’ I barely feel like I need to explain. The whole case is Alesis pursuing and following through with a means to become her ideal self. She goes through the entire process willingly and with the express intent to become the person she wishes she could be.

As for the ones that will need some more explaining, I’m mainly thinking of 10 and 13.

‘Saturday Night’ reveals everyone’s favourite children’s mascot/government hitman, Mr. Bonzo, and gives some background on him. Mr. Bonzo was a gag character in Nigel’s late night show. Not only did someone in a Bonzo costume do some murdering, but… Bonzo himself took over Nigel’s show and ‘imprisonment’ in the comedy dungeon due to his popularity. Perhaps this sort of thing got to Nigel, and he saw his life—because the show did seem to be his life’s work—being taken over by the mascot, and then saw that same mascot with blood on his hands. Perhaps Nigel made a monster out of Bonzo in his head, and that monster was made manifest… somehow. Or maybe some kid who loved and idolised Bonzo saw the murders and felt like a monster themselves, spiralling until they became Bonzo a la Episode 23, then attached themselves to Nigel because, well… Nigel and Bonzo were always together.

‘Futures’ is a bit simpler, I think. Darrien wanted to be rich again. He saw himself as “one of the elite,” as evidenced by his attitude and the company he kept when his experience started. His desire and ideal of richness lead to him throwing himself into worse and worse situations for more and more money… until, i think, he realised he needed to stop. He realised that his life had just turned into destroying himself for money, and he was ready to stop that… so he stopped seeing himself as “someone doing whatever it takes to get rich” and instead saw himself as “someone destroying themselves.” And the money stopped, just like that.

Now, for Ink5oul and alchemy. Every Magnus Institute case (the ones from their records/research, anyways), has mentioned the terms “subject,” “agent,” and “catalyst.”

These terms are pretty generic, but we pretty much know the Institute was deep in alchemy, and alchemy is, in essence, the art/science of transformations.

Transformations based on self-image and identity, perhaps.

The subject is what changes (Madam E, Daria, Alesis). The catalyst is what starts/actualises/accelerates the change (Ink5oul’s tattoos, Alesis’s “piece”). The agent is what sets things in motion to change in the first place (Ink5oul is the current main example of this).

This is already really long and I’m basically just rambling at this point, so I’ll stop. This could be the most surface-level take or a complete swing and a miss, but I like thinking about things like this, so oh well

[bluenomad-snufkin]

More about me... be warned im a terrible human

I am 16 - Male, chronically depressed. Un-ironically a genius... and lack real connection.

I like weird music such as, Death grips, Semetery, Adam and the ants, Fried by Fluoride... I LOVE THE SMITHS BTW and nirvana.

i enjoy playing with computers and building them, have about 4 pc's now and 5 laptops, all old stuff cause i like old computers.

Linux enthusiast - I use mint :3

I own a shit CRT but its fun to use- lain core </3

Game a fair bit and enjoy games like Chiv2-Cof-Postal1/2-Tf2-project zomboid- Counter strike source and 2. silent hill series could go on and on but you get the idea

hmu if u want to game cause all my friends are ass at "these sort of games"

i enjoy some weird interests as well:

tcc, photography, design, steam power, engines in general, motorbikes, hacking, ELETRIC GUITAR, and acoustic, gambling, baking, cooking, pirating, audiophile, 3drinting, preservation of old tech, blacksmithing, reading, Gel-Blasting (for the Americans it is australian Airsoft in short), old game console modding, anime and movies.

That's probably the list ngl

I read a lot and i like to discuss deep philosophical concepts and the "psychology" of humans. (if you couldn't tell I'm a 'misanthrope')And talking about societal constructs and all that stuff... not many people like talking about that stuff.

a good way to describe me would be Lain but mentally Dr house. in the sense of dislike of just about everything and my attitude towards others and life its self.

I don't know why I am the way I am... I truly am a miserable person, i have my moments but I honestly am, and I make others very miserable just by more or less existing with them.

This blog is kind of apart of my journey to becoming something else, I think self discovery would be the wrong term but the closest set of words I can think of too how I feel.

some more personal stuff...

I am incredibly lazy, not to the point of not showering or never leaving bed but more "surrogate activates" - Ted K, or meaningless and basic tasks/activates, I don't really participate in class due to the fact i somehow know most of it (I'm ignorant too) I don't really like doing things like- actually this is hard to explain but the best way i can describe it would be doing this that have to value to me or my future.

I don't have a problem connecting with people but I find my self ALWAYS not actually caring for them or there feelings. I don't believe at this point in time I could name more than one person I really care for. I would label this a selfish but its not like to treat my self any better. maybe that is how i punish my self, any insight on this topic would be much apricated.

I seem to have sort of desire for Control - i think this because i love just watching people listening and anticipating what people will say, do, think, act, its some sort of game for me (i really don't know how to put this) and id have to say 80% of the time my guess are correct, i am a ""master"" of determining and analysing humans, its really weird and i don't understanding where or even how i developed this skill from. i often find my self using this to just piss people off and see how mad i can get someone (i mainly do this online).

A lot of human thinking and reactions piss me off, I hate how some people think and interact with this world i don't seem in some case even understand why these people are like this i s just know and know that they are. I'm not sure if i wish to be like them or for "them" to be like me.

I truly am a troubled and misunderstood person.

one may conclude that I'm autistic or have some other form of genetic/ mental illness, to that i say, are you fucking retarded... do you understand anything in this world or that of the human mind?

Maybe you do, if so please critiqueme and tell me why i am me.

I have been tested for Autism and ADHD, both Negative not sure by what margin although.

My best guess is that i am simply "hyper realised" or some other buzz words - or are a lot of people this way...???

Just been reading and editing this massive ass post, there are so many other things i could go on about, like the government, being clean, family, longing for societal escape, tictok, but you probably don't care just as i wouldn't.

Any way enjoy my weird blog i guess if you read this and where not turned away. lol

-last minute add don't know where to put this but i love tcc cause I'm "obsessed" with there minds, motives and stuff like that.

[irontragedyreview]

Thoughts about mha new chapter

I'm going to be honest, I forgot that there was a new chapter and when I remembered I looked for the 425 leaks and I got confused, apart from this I don't have much to say.

I think in previous posts I said that the chapter was going to be about the todoroki and a closure for their plot. Liking or disliking this chapter will depend on each person, but the truth is that it was an ending and honestly there are 4 chapters left to close everything. The next chapters will surely be about Spinner, Toga and with some luck Horikoshi's mediocrity will allow Izuku to have a minimum reflection on Tomura but who knows.

However, speaking of the leaks of this chapter in general, for me the most important thing would be:

1. Touya is possibly going to die at some point.

2. Natsu is going to cut off contact with Endeavor permanently. Here I’m going to clarify something, the truth is that I liked the dynamics of Todoroki children, many praised Natsu for maintaining resentment and hatred towards Endeavor while Fuyumi received a lot of hate because she wanted a united family, Shoto was an intermediate point, he resents his father but still maintains some type of relationship without cutting off contact completely. I think that the reactions of the three children regarding their family story are a representation of reality, there are people like Natsu who will cut off all contact with the abuser regardless of whether they seek redemption, Fuyumi wanted to keep the family together (we saw it with the scenes of them trying to eat together). Although we don’t know if this attitude changed, Fuyumi possibly still maintains contact with Endeavor at the end, Shoto is more difficult to say, he may follows Natsu's path or  consider maintaining contact like Fuyumi but more distant and limited way. The positive thing is that Shoto has emotional support in his UA classmates.

3. Tied to point 1, Endeavor seems determined not only to assume all responsibilities but to give Touya all his attention while he’s still alive, from the few posts I saw I know that there is some criticism that Endeavor still plays such a leading role here, and how Shoto and Touya should have more argumentative importance for their relationship. However, Endeavor is the unifying factor between them, beyond Shoto's desires to save Touya because they’re family, much of Touya's attention to Shoto It focuses on how Shoto was the perfect child that Endeavor always looked for, the one who was born to replace him because he was damaged merchandise, without Endeavor their relationship wouldn’t have the weight it has because Touya wouldn’t have been interested in Shoto as he was.

4. Nagant is fine, my heart takes a little happiness at this and although her being in prison is not my particular taste, I like that it’s of her own will and because she still doesn’t trust about them becoming her into a weapon again, I like that she is well.

5. Gentle and La Brava are good too.

6. Hawks and his new position (I'm not very interested in his character)

7. Spinner appears and possibly the next chapter will focus on him. Here we will see what will happen to him, so far Horikoshi seems to be getting rid of the villains in one way or another, Tomura dead (for now if nothing changes), Touya on his way to death, Spinner could have serious neurological damage from the quirks given by AFO. If I'm honest, the one who is in the best condition is Toga, although she gave her blood to Ochako, she didn’t have deep wounds and with some luck beyond the blood loss given to Ochako, she’s the one who has the best chance of recovering.

But back to Spinner, someone enters to his hospital room, the question would be who the person is? We have options and they are all possible, Toga, Izuku (who has a message) or Shoji. I’m more inclined to these last two than Toga because Midoriya still has to talk about Tomura and Shoji would be the closure of the heteromorphic discrimination plot. On this point I'm going to say that the plot was very sloppy, the confrontation between Spinner and Shoji will be seen in retrospect and I'm sorry but Shoji's words to Spinner at that moment were shit, I hope at least if Shoji and Spinner talk again the advice isn’t to be good because then they will stop discriminating against you.

Well, it seems that I actually had quite a bit to say, but I think I touched on all the points that I consider important, I don't consider the chapter to be either bad or good, it’s just a closing of the plot.

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Hey! I’m just curious, do you think the everlark fandom is getting smaller?

That's a really difficult thing to judge, Anon. I've been here a long time and I've seen the fandom go through swells and lulls multiple times over the years. There's so many factors that contribute to the size and amount of activity in a fandom. People leave for other fandoms, some of them return, some don't. Some spilt their attention and efforts between mulitple fandoms. Some people just need to take breaks from how often they create, post, and interact... and that can create the momentary feeling of a shrinking fandom, even if it's not real.

For my part, I've been around so long that sometimes it feels like no one is saying anything about the books and movies and Everlark in general that I haven't already heard, but that attitude is super unfair towards the people who are newer to the fandom. It's ridiculous to expect them to go through over a decades worth of old posts, fics, artwork, etc, and get all the history of the fandom that those of us who've been here a long time already have. Especially since, if you pay attention to A LOT of the newcomers, these are kids who read the books/saw the first four movies as teens and have returned to the material with new appreciation and some seriously deep takes on the material.

So to me, part of the reason it feels smaller is because in many ways, I've retreated into my corner and don't interact as much. I leave the analysis and fangirl posting and furious ask sending to the fresh eyes and young blood. They deserve the chance to fully enjoy their enthusiasm and to build what remains of the fandom into their own community.

Also, I've been through enough fandom wank and infighting at this point that I'm so tired, Katniss. Just let me sit in my rocking chair on the porch and nap, occasionally waking up long enough to spout off a story and be told, "Okay, Grandma."

I guess my point is, no there might not be the same heightened level of activity as ten/twelve years ago. Creators may be sharing their work at a slower rate, fans and readers might not be interacting as much, but that should not diminish the passion and enjoyment of those who are here and fully active. I don't want people to come here and see asks like this and think "Oh... well I guess no one's home..."

I don't want that deterrent to those who come here seeking others to discuss and freak out over thg and Everlark. And I hope you don't either. Becasue even if it is "shrinking," there are still people here and there are still newcomers arriving all the time. Small but mighty, my friend.

<3 kdnfb

[suzannahnatters]

OKAY I finished Love Like the Galaxy today so here are my live reaccs to eps 28-42 (originally posted on Bluesky). Putting them under a cut because they run long!!!

oh man this scene!!! I've seen the same kind of scene play out so often with all the apologising done by the fml and none by the mml…but in this one she tells him her attitude towards him will depend on HIS future actions, and then HE GIVES HER A SNACK our boy is Doing the Work I am proud of him

and now: he will quietly support and encourage her while she seeks to deal with her social enemies in her own way??? I LOVE IT SO MUCH ?? exquisite

we get a look at poor Wang Ling's family and this really could be Overbearing Asian Mothers: The Historical Drama

I can sympathise with NN and Murder General because if I too had someone share a forehead kiss with me I would not be able to sleep all night either

deeply thrilled that NN now gets to do the Dramatic Swooping In To Save Someone - and oh look she's got a maternal figure who's actually kind and loving to her now :')

Oh my, I love how every time he tries to tell her not to get involved in something bc of deep waters, she makes the point that she really needs to do the thing, and he LISTENS. Every time he says "this is for your own good" she claps back with why it's better for her to know & be involved.

This is the platonic ideal of cdramas for me

I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to find Consort Yue to be awesome or intolerable but she's leaning intolerable for me with this public haranguing of all her children (and some of other people's). Glad NN bagged the Empress as her etiquette mentor

Well I didn't expect the money counterfeiting subplot to peak so early but that's terrific, I can do without coinage plots lol

Truly puzzled as to what the show means by all this imperial family drama. The parents seem just as toxic as NN's parents but we're supposed to think it's okay because a) their children had every advantage and some of them still wound up rotten at heart? and b) the town children aren't just committing crimes against family - they're crimes against the empire? I'm afraid the parallels ring a bit hollow to me because I truly think the Emperor and Consort Yue are also terrible parents

Interestingly, Murder General says the Emperor will not treat the counterfeiting as harshly as the law provides "because of fairness". We saw Bad Mum also using "fairness" as an excuse to deny NN things that would benefit her as compared to her cousin. Again, wondering what the parallels are saying.

Bad mum is now having sad violins because NN is finally learning that being a parent is hard…but she's learning from the Empress lol the only thing I have to say to that is SUFFER, MA'AM

NN is now reassuring the Empress that parents who patiently teach rather than criticise their children are the best, & she's been commending the crown Prince for being gentle & compassionate rather than a cold politician, so I'm beginning to wonder if there's a muted critique of the imperial family

This Tiger Tally thing is totally going to be stolen within the next two episodes isn't it

Thanks a lot murder general

ooohh she lied to him and he's big mad about it

"here are all the reasons why your actions have made things worse for me and the people you care about" maybe you should have told her those things first, GENIUS

AHAHAHAHAHAHA now she's saying that exact thing herself I LOVE THIS SHOW

annnnnd the Tiger Tally is gone and it's time for Murder General, Boy Detective! to save the - wait, what is Niao Niao doing here

*ancient Chinese man falls in love with woman for independent spirit and quick wits, horrified when she insists upon using them*

did she,,,did she forge the Tiger Tally lol

Murder general realises he needs to let NN do all the things he fell in love with her for. Congrats Niao Niao you've levelled up and unlocked Tragic And Highly Disturbing Family Reunion

wheeee NN says being filial is only possible if the parents earn it by conducting themselves well if I was murder general I would also be kissing her at this point

pov: you're sitting at your betrothal feast and someone comes in with a message from your absent beloved: "whatever happens next, don't be flustered. shout and scream however you feel is appropriate" the hEcK Zisheng

one of the things that absolutely staggers me about Smug Scholar is that HE doesn't want to get married, least of all to NN, he just wants to make sure nobody else can marry her either

ahhh first Qiqi and Bad Mum are defending her now - and then the Empress turns up? I'm sure murder general had something to do with the Empress, but I love that he's now helping NN solve problems in her own way

all the elders are squabbling and our leads are just chilling affectionately in the background it's hilarious

I mean after they stole the spotlight at Snacks' betrothal feast it's probably fair

Oh no NN is now the Empress' adopted perfect daughter who gets all the attention���and Fifth Princess is NOT happy. More parallels!

"tonight, I'll teach you how to recognise acupoints" is that what they're calling it these days

Murder general is highly trained in the Romance Novel Cover Clinch school of self defence

"from now on, my Gate of Life will be yours" V U L N E R A B I L I T Y

NN is a darling who is determined to protect her Empress' favourite son but girlfriend,,, you do realise you can't babysit this disaster couple through ruling an entire empire don't you

ahahahahaha he's doing the "what am I going to do if you get hurt" thing and she's not having a bar of it

this show just speedrunning all my least favourite tropes with a heroine who Won't Be Flim Flammed and it's BEAUTIFUL

it is time for murder general to go a little unhinged, as a treat drinking tea while listening to the shrieks of his enemies, as you do

I am loving so much, so very much, about this show…but I'm finding the humiliation of the antagonists to be a little too thorough and mean-spirited to enjoy, even tho I can see how it is intended to fit in with the themes of fighting for yourself.

Where does the line between justice and vindictiveness lie, especially in a social setting with injustice hard-baked in? One of the principles of justice (at least in the west) is that it must be proportionate to the crime. But the humiliation dealt out in this show often feels excessive to me.

ep38: every single last one of these people is absolutely bonkers insane, except the Empress

I laughed way harder than I should. I love that NN told two different people to shut up in the emperor's presence. I love that NN has this moment of piercing identification with murder general when she sees him being beaten the way she was. I think the emperor is rubbish, & I think the show knows it

He promises NN that he won't ever lie to her and I have every expectation that this promise will be broken, just like every other cdrama hero breaks that promise

except that I also trust NN to make sure he doesn't get away with it, which is what makes this drama so MUCH fun

murder mystery break!!!! there's all sorts of interesting thematic stuff going on here about communal/family responsibility to educate and socialise children, as well as the difference in appropriate behaviour in the private vs public spheres. But it's fun that our leads are doing it together.

I could not ask for a better Exasperated Watson to NN's Sherlock Holmes than Smug Scholar, whom she now diagnoses with Extreme Sour Grapes in two seconds flat

NN telling the murderer that murder general will naturally let him go in return for NN's safe return…she sure is a tricky one

Of course she had a knife, she's not an IDIOT, Zisheng

Emperor: out of consideration of your family's reduced circumstances I will not be executing you for your part in the cataclysm that left murder general an orphan

murder general: truly epic side eye

all of them are definitely dead

I love murder general because he can turn anything as simple as buying sweets for his fiancée into a production of SPARTACUS

Our girl is dressed as a boy, sneaking around the army camp looking for murder general. Murder General's personal army of beefy warriors is sneaking around the camp trying not to catch Niao Niao while dropping loud hints about where to find his tent. Cdramas, man.

"from now on, you can leave the needlework to me" ling buyi is officially the man of my dreams

well, just as the military expedition around eps 11-12 signalled the end of the first act, so this new expedition feels like it signals the start of the final act. NN and her murder puppy have reached such a situation of love and trust that I can feel the pin approaching the balloon.

he's about to catch peng kun and find out some things, isn't he??? murder party revenge WHEN

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I know it is only anybodys guessing really, and I truly do not want to sound like 'the historian' but you would go as far as calling these relationships of napoleon 'homoerotic'? Why? Couldn't it be the case of him having just very warm attitude and be close to his friends like that?

Again nothing against it, but I needed to ask since I as well am the person to get alike towards my close friends and I don't feel it having any attraction undertones.

Thank you for the ask! As usual for me, my response got really long.

I mean correct! It’s literally anyone’s guess. Who knows? Certainly not me! Certainly no one who is alive right now!

I’m just a queer on the internet having fun who sees Napoleon and goes "ah yes, a chaotic bisexual even though the concept of modern sexual identity wasn't a thing in his time etc. etc. [insert all the other usual disclaimers required on this webbedsite]" so that's why.

[How do I know he’s a chaotic bi? Well, it’s very simple, he couldn’t sit properly in a chair, liked to sit on his secretaries’ laps, pull their ears, and tell them Fun Facts he learned that day, and wanted to make the tsar of Russia his mistress. He also dearly loved Josephine and wrote about how he liked going down on her. This is clear proof that he was a chaotic bi king and we should be so lucky to know this about him. ;)]

I'm also a writer who likes to slap a queer lens onto most things because that's how I role and I'm very unapologetic about it. Which most people who follow me know.

I’m also someone who has incredibly deep, intimate friendships with a close selection of people in my life that are not romantic/sexual or whatever in their nature—but they are incredibly intimate. They are friendships where partners of my friends have been jealous and insecure because of how close we are—which is a them problem, not an us problem.

I would go so far as to argue that friends are more likely to slot into that problematic category of “soulmate” than anyone romantic (ymmv). And from the outside, I’m sure people might read my friendships with a few people (have read them, in fact) as romantic/homoerotic and frankly I don’t care. Whatever. I know what my friendships are, why does it matter what other people read them as? More to the point, why does it matter that someone reads a dead person’s friendships as homo-something? How does that impact my friendships which may, or may not, mirror that dead person’s friendships? Who cares? One should love one’s friends however one wishes to. Fuck everything else.

--

In an effort to avoid the Great Queer Napoleon Discourse War of 2013-14 I shall include a disclaimer because hot damn do people get REALLY uppity about this: I’m a writer, first and foremost in all things. I’m not a historian. As noted above, I’m a queer fag on the internet having fun. Take what I say with a grain of salt.

(Honestly, doing anything with Napoleon’s sexuality aside from He Was the Straightest Straight Who Ever Straighted, gets everyone’s hackles raised. I think that says more about those with hackles up than it does the person going: maybe he might have had a bit of a queerness about him, it’s not implausible.)

--

Some general stuff on Napoleon & That Doesn’t Seem Entirely Straight, Even For the 18th and 19th Century:

From Cronin’s biography on Napoleon:

“Napoleon found that his friendships with men often began with physical attraction, and this took a curious form. ‘He told me,’ says Caulcaincourt, ‘…that for him the heart was not the organ of sentiment; that he felt emotions only where most men experience feelings of a different kind; nothing in the heart, everything in the loins and in another place, which I leave nameless.’ 

The feeling Napoleon described as ‘a sort of painful tingling, a nervous irritability…the squeaking of a saw sometimes gives me the same sensation’.”

In addition, Talleyrand speculated Napoleon and Bourienne were, uh, intimate in all senses of the word. Talleyrand, of course, well—one should treat his hot takes with some caution.

There is also the (in)famous letter Napoleon wrote to Josephine about Alexander where he said that he and Alexander were inordinately pleased with one another and if the tsar were a woman, he’d take Alexander as his mistress (Napoleon, honey, don’t write that to your wife).

I mean, do what you want with that. Take it for what it’s worth /shrug

---

Of the three friendships under discussion: Lannes, Duroc, Junot—I always read Lannes and Napoleon’s friendship as just friendship. Duroc and Junot though. That’s where we start getting into arguments for a homoerotic friendship—or romantic friendship, if one prefers that term.

I’ll do a little ramble for each, because they all deserve it.

Lannes

Napoleon’s friendship with Lannes was intimate, close, and they loved each other dearly—but as said, I always read them as friends. Even if they lived today and were free/able to be whatever they wanted to be to one another, it’d still just be friendship.

People did make Achilles/Patroclus references to them—particularly around Lannes’ death—but that was the mode of how people spoke back then. It’s the 19th century version of comparing everything to LOTR or Harry Potter (read another classical epic people, jeez).

Their friendship was volatile for sure—these are two hot headed, strong minded, opinionated men who were not afraid to snap and snarl at one another—but at the end of the day I do not doubt their love for each other. But it’s what we would term a platonic love.  

Brian Martin writes this in Napoleonic Friendship: Military Fraternity, Intimacy, and Sexuality in Nineteenth-century France:

Napoleon’s grief for Marshal Lannes took on the very public character of open lamentation. Rather than grieve behind closed doors and conceal his personal vulnerabilities in order to show public strength, Napoleon’s mourning for his beloved friend became a matter of great public spectacle. Like Achilles mourning his beloved Patroclus, Napoleon wept publicly and openly expressed his affection in a way that was widely reported, discussed, and admired by the officers and soldiers in his armies.

[…]

Napoleon’s public grief at the death of Jean Lannes represented a new model for social relations between soldiers in the early nineteenth-century France. weeping over his friend’s broken body, Napoleon demonstrated how the revolution and empire had made it possible not only for an emperor to grieve openly for a fallen marshal, but for a soldier to love his comrade. This uncharacteristic expression of affection between Napoleon and Lannes was echoes in similar relationships between officers and foot soldiers in Napoleon’s armies. Military memories of the first empire bear witness to a wide range of intimate relationships among generals, colonels, and captains as well as sergeants, corporals, and grunts (grognards), the infantry soldiers who made up the majority of the imperial armies. Napoleon’s love for Lannes might thus be said to represent a broad spectrum of masculine affection and intimacy in the ranks of the Grande Armée, or what could be called Napoleonic friendship.

So yeah, I’ve not much more to say on them. Their friendship was loving, affectionate, intimate, and complex. Lannes could be frustrated with Napoleon (often was, the longer Napoleon remained in power—because Lannes loved Bonaparte not the emperor), but Lannes loved his friend and Napoleon loved Lannes. But my read on them has always been that it was what we would term platonic.

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Junot

This one is messy. Because Junot and Napoleon are messy people. I also think this one is the strongest case for “something more than friendship”. I personally believe Junot loved Napoleon in a deep, phenomenal, possibly obsessive fashion that absolutely was romantic—maybe sexual/erotic—and Napoleon for a time may have returned at least some of those feelings. Then it all went south.

I’m ripping a lot of this from a previous ask I received about Junot—since it covered a lot of the more romantic aspects of his and Napoleon’s relationship.

Junot and Napoleon were close friends when they were in their 20s. Incredibly close. Laure Junot, whose memoires one should treat cautiously, intimated that there was more than just friendship between them at this point. But if that is the case, we’ll never know for certain.

Brian Martin sums it up well (and saves me from having to dig out my copy of Laure’s memoir):

Soon after his imprisonment, Napoleon was released and exonerated, but with little money and no desire to take on a new military post in Brittany, he returned to Paris where, as Laure Junot explains, he lived with his comrade Junot and depended on his friend’s emotional and financial support … The 1794 letter from Toulon initiates a half-year period in the lives of the twenty-five-year-old Bonaparte and twenty-three-year-old Junot when … these ambitious young men relied on each other during their impecunious days in Paris. Describing how Junot “loved Bonaparte as one loves at the age” (1: 188), Laure Junot implies that the young Jean-Andoche developed an adolescent crush on Napoleon, as the two young men grew in intimacy.

[…]

Laure Junot tactfully observes many years later that it was difficult to assess the nature of these friendships [with Duroc and Junot] without offending their masculinity: “These are the very profound and abstract mysteries of the human heart. It is difficult to explain them without first wounding a man’s dignity” (11: 131).

In relegating Napoleon’s military relationships to the realm of the mysteries, Laure Junot defines Napoleonic friendship — long before “the love that dare not speak its name” was articulated by Lord Alfred Douglas in 1894 and invoked at Oscar Wilde’s trial in 1895 —as an enigmatic and unspeakable love incapable of being articulated without shaming a soldier’s manhood. Amid such ambiguity, it is unclear if such “mysteries” encompass both the emotional and the erotic. What is clearer is that Napoleon and Junot shared a degree of affection during their youth in Paris that was undeniably intimate.

As Napoleon climbed up the greasy pole, the power dynamic changed and expectations of interpersonal relationships became more formal putting a strain on his and Junot’s friendship. Junot, like many who knew Napoleon from the early days, loved Bonaparte, not the emperor. As Laure put it in her memoire: “Now let me explain the sadness and pain which afflicted Junot on learning that Napoleon was no longer his General Bonaparte of Toulon. Perhaps the affair simply followed a natural decline. But Junot … did not see it this way. He wanted reciprocity, which he craved even more as his own affectionate fantasies increased … He loved the man, not the emperor.”

In 1800, Napoleon named Junot Commandant of Paris on the condition that he marry because, it seems, there were too many rumours flying around about the two of them. (As noted above, Talleyrand was already making some “huh. Interesting closeness, there” comments about Napoleon.) Dutifully, Junot married Laure.

Junot always exhibited some signs of mental illness throughout his life and at one point he received a head wound (I forget which battle) that massively exacerbated whatever existing mental health troubles he had. (And note that this was one of many wounds - nor was it his first head wound. It’s just the one people in his own life pointed to as a moment of change.)

Junot had jealous and possessive tendencies, something that drove Napoleon a little batty, and they got worse. While Junot was in Portugal, and later Spain, he wrote Napoleon a series of desperate letters begging him to reappoint Junot as his aid-de-camp. We unfortunately don’t have these letters anymore, Napoleon was notoriously secretive and private when it came to personal correspondence and had a habit of burning lots of it. However, we do have Laure’s account of Napoleon’s reception of Junot’s pleading. Laure writes:

"Look here, Madame, what your husband writes to me!’ said the Emperor, ‘Read this and tell me if he sends you such letters."

I read these letters, and this caused me some pain: my husband sent me affectionate missives, but never in the tone of a lover; here were letters that resembled those between Julie and Saint-Preux, or those of the Portuguese nun.*

Napoleon then goes on and says:

“In admitting that Junot loves me more than anything in the world … [he demonstrates] that he does not love me more than his own ambition”

To which Laure replies:

“He loves you, Sire, more than all the honours that you can give, more than your crown, more than me perhaps, for it was pride that made me say the contrary just now, perhaps even more than his children!”

-

*Note: She’s referencing Guilleragues’s Portuguese Letters (1669) and Rousseau’s Julie or the New Héloïse (1761)

Also, as I said above, treat Laure’s accounts cautiously. As with all memoirs, she is positioning certain scenes with a purpose and some things are downplayed, or exaggerated, accordingly.

-

In 1813, Napoleon dismissed Junot from military duty and sent him off to be governor of Illyria which Junot, rightly or wrongly, saw as a form of exile. During his ambassadorship he famously entered a ballroom wearing nothing but his epaulettes and his medals. [above para' edited per conversation in the notes]

Brian Martin:

While one could blame Junot’s naked diplomacy on his progressive dementia, his shocking entrance can also be seen as a kind of buff rebuff to Napoleon. After a lifetime fighting for Bonaparte, watching shrapnel rip into young men’s bodies, leading thousands of soldiers to their deaths, and suffering twenty-seven wounds* of his own, Junot offered his own ravaged body as a hideous and spectacular product of Napoleon’s violence.

-

*Note: Junot says he had 17 wounds, not sure where Martin got 27 - unless there were wounds Junot wasn’t counting.

-

After this incident, Junot was swiftly recalled back to France where he soon after died by suicide.

In his final letter to Napoleon he wrote:

“I who love you with the affection of a savage for the sun, I who am entirely yours. Well then: this eternal war that we must fight for you, I want no more of! I want peace! I want finally to repose my tired head, my sore limbs … to enjoy that which I earned … with my blood! The blood of an honest man, of a good Frenchman, of a true patriot. I therefore ask, at last, for that tranquillity that I earned through twenty-two years of effective service and seventeen wounds from which my blood has flowed for my country, and for your glory.” (emphasis in original)

After Junot’s death, Napoleon ordered that Junot’s personal papers be seized and destroyed as he was afraid their personal correspondence might make its way to a public forum.

So yeah, Junot’s love for Napoleon was definitely on the romantic side, I would say. Because Napoleon burned all their correspondence we don’t know what he sent in reply to Junot—especially in the early days of their relationship. I suspect it was intimate and possibly in line with what Junot continued to send him throughout their life and like hell did Napoleon want that escaping to the public.

Anyway—Junot and Napoleon, I would argue definitely had some homoerotic/romantic undertones and such to their friendship. I think it was mutual in their 20s then Napoleon’s feelings retreated to more platonic but Junot’s never changed.

It just man, gives me strong flashbacks to when I was a teenager and one of my best friends at the time  declared herself my soulmate and carved my initials into her arm and left me a million and a half messages on the home answering machine and said that I was cold like Napoleon and she loved me for it etc. etc.

When I look at Junot and Napoleon I see myself and my old friend in all that glory of the strange complexities of young, intensely emotional and intimate friendships that absolutely blur the line into romantic/erotic.

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Duroc

Ah sweet Duroc! Duroc who regularly compared himself to Junot in terms of his relationship to Napoleon.

Duroc to Laure Junot in May of 1813:  “Poor Junot! It’s that he’s like me! The Emperor’s friendship is our whole life.”

And again, this is from Laure’s memoirs:

‘Junot and some others,’ Duroc said to me, ‘misjudge me and misjudge my position as well. The Emperor would disgrace me if he made me a marshal of France. What would I do away from him? No doubt it’s a great honor; but my attachment to him, how could it not be affected by that distance? I love the Emperor as Junot loves him. And isn’t he going to choose the post of first aide-de-camp instead of that of governor of Paris? So why judge me otherwise!’

-

Duroc’s a hard one to pin down because he was such an exemplary marshal of the palace, in addition he left us no diaries or memoirs so we have the word of others and what survived of his letters, little else to go on.

However, I think it telling that Duroc compared himself to regularly to Junot—who everyone was aware of how he felt about Napoleon—and that Junot was so jealous of Duroc. That Junot saw Duroc as a rival for Napoleon’s affection and love but not Lannes tells me that clearly Junot could see the similarity of what Duroc and Napoleon had to what he and Napoleon may have once had but didn’t anymore. And, that Lannes was different. It was a different relationship and one that Junot didn’t find threatening.

It's also worth nothing that Duroc was the only one of Napoleon’s officers, aside from Lannes, who was allowed to use tu with Napoleon. Las Cases writes: “I’ve heard the Emperor say that in all of his military career, Duroc alone possessed his blind confidence and received all his affection … Duroc loved the Emperor for himself; he was devoted most of all to the private man, even more than to the monarch”

Duroc’s role as marshal of the palace also put him in an interesting position as a sort of quasi-wife to Napoleon. The role he played was very much a “wife” role—Cronin summarizes Duroc’s duties thus:

"Napoleon was struck by Duroc’s sweet nature, his beautiful manners and the patience which he himself lacked. So he employed his friend as a diplomat and when he became Emperor chose him to run the household and court. […] He had his hands full ensuring that the grocer did not overcharge for the Chambertin, since Napoleon would be sure to notice, and, as Napoleon put on weight, tactfully persuading the Imperial Tailor not to make new clothes but to let out the old ones a couple of inches. He also had to make peace when Napoleon lost his temper: pushing over the table, for example, when he saw crépinettes of partridge. He did this admirably, because he was devoted to Napoleon. Many a time, when the Emperor had hurt a visitor with a sharp word, Duroc would murmur on the way out: ‘Forget it. He says what he feels, not what he thinks, and not what he’ll do tomorrow.’"

No one else of Napoleon’s intimate friends really takes on that wifely role—even after Duroc’s death. Bertrand has the same role, Marshal of the Palace, and he was damn good at his job, just as Duroc was, but there was a difference in their relationship and Bertrand doesn’t read as so close and devoted on a marital level to Napoleon. Not that Bertrand didn’t love Napoleon, he did, gods know he did, but it was more in line with Lannes than Duroc or Junot.

Napoleon describes Duroc to Las Cases:

‘Duroc,’ concluded he, ‘had lively, tender, and concealed passions, little corresponding with the coldness of his manner. It was long before I knew this, so exact and regular was his service. It was not until my day was entirely closed and finished, and I was enjoying repose, that Duroc’s work begun. Chance, or by some accident, could alone have made me acquainted with his character. He was a pure and virtuous man, utterly disinterested, and extremely generous.’

[…]

When he [Napoleon] went to see Duroc, after he had received his mortal wound, he attempted to hold out some hopes to him; but Duroc, who did not deceive himself, only replied by begging [Napoleon] to make them give him opium. …

After this recollection, the emperor, with an apparent effort, began abruptly to talk of something else.

I believe that Napoleon and Duroc were able to see each other’s interiority in a way that few others were able to and that formed the basis for their affection, love and friendship.

Duroc’s letters to Napoleon, anytime they were apart, are also more intense than usual. Plenty of Napoleon’s friends wrote about wanting to be by his side when they were sent off on diplomatic missions or what have you. But Duroc’s express a particularly intense form of devotion:

Duroc to Napoleon, May 29, 1801:

I am waiting to leave, Citizen Consul, until I receive a response to the letters that I had the honor to write you, unless the circumstances or the letters I receive from Paris let me judge that I can leave earlier. I beg you to remember that I am eight hundred leagues from you and, although I’ve been well-received here, I am never better than when I am near you. (Emphasis in the original)

Duroc to Napoleon, July 7, 1801:

I have sought to conduct myself here, Citizen Consul, in a manner that would satisfy you. I am well-regarded and thought highly of everywhere because I belong to you particularly, but I will not be happy until I’m sure that I deserve your approval. I am waiting to set my departure until I know that you’ve received the letter that I had the honor to write you and that I sent with Captain Leclerc. I very much want to find myself near you as soon as possible. (Emphasis in the original)

When Napoleon offered to have Hortense marry Duroc, Napoleon’s proposition was that Duroc would receive five hundred thousand francs and be named commandant of the 8th military division and would be stationed in Toulon (Napoleon was against having a son-in-law in the house).

When the proposition was passed on to Duroc he turned it down because he didn’t want to be sent away from Napoleon’s side and if marriage meant being apart, he didn’t want it, even though from all accounts he was quite fond of Hortense (and she was fond of him).

Later, when Napoleon was having to negotiate his name in exile he said to Barry O’Meara:

“The name of General Bonaparte was the one which I bore at Campo Formio and at Lunneville, when I dictated terms of peace with the Emperor of Austria. I bore it at Amiens when I signed the peace with England. I should be proud to bear it still, but the honour of France forbids me to acknowledge the right of the King of England to annul the acts of the French people. My intention was to take the name of Duroc.”

But he felt he had to keep Emperor Napoleon in order to Make A statement.

In another account, I forget to who, he repeated his intent to have taken on Duroc’s name in exile in order to be a little more incognito/not draw attention to himself, but because England refused to acknowledge that he had been emperor he was like “fuck that, I’m going to insist on being called emperor”. So, had England not been like “you were never emperor” it’s possible Napoleon would have taken Duroc’s surname as his own.

How very married of them.

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Apologies for the long reply. Not sure this will really answer anything, but it's an amalgamation of my thoughts.

Junot is the clearest of the homo-something friendship between Napoleon and another man. Like, I think that's a tough one to read as anything other than a messy break up. Which is why, when we were all nattering on about queering Napoleon in film yesterday, I focused so much on Junot over the others.

But same sex intimacy, even in Just Friends, can have homo-something undertones to it. Friendships can be complex, multilayered and include some romantic and erotic aspects to them. This doesn't mean those friendships are Romantic Relationships as we think of them, but if there's a romantic tinge to it, or a strong homoerotic tinge to it, then why not explore it? See where it takes the story or the interpretation and undestanding of the person and their actions. Maybe it'll go no where useful, maybe it will. Only one way to find out.

Thank you for the ask!