#my friend sent me a gift that is so like by definition ordinary but just makes me feel so cared for on a deep level that I’m over here like
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cordiallyfuturedwight · 1 year ago
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askathewierdo · 2 years ago
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Flamio and welcome to my character analysis of Azula!
I have been reading since I haven't tried The Last Airbender fanFiction on Ao3 recently and an observation caught my eye and I was talking to over with my friend I'm kind of verbally came across some stuff about Azula that I felt like sharing.
So the main thing is that some fanfiction feel the need to give Azul a redemption Arc and others find a way to make it where she doesn't really need a redemption Arc. The main difference is that a redemption Arc means the character regrets their decisions and wants to atone for them or do better.
On the other hand what I've seen more and more of is where after the war she's mentally ill and is just so broken that she has no reason to be against the protagonists anymore.
This led me to kind of just think about well wait a minute why was she broken again? And so from that I kind of went back and it backtracked and backtracked until I went all the way back to basically her birth. Yeah you're in for a little bit of a talk. ;) Stick around for a deeper understanding of this ✨ traumatized✨ 14yr antagonist.
First you have a fact that she is a princess. She is the highest form of a celebrity being the princess of the leader of the nation who is winning a World War. She was raised with politics all around her. The world of politics is a ruthless one and she was raised from the cradle to be able to handle it. Any child born to nobility is. This led to her more sadistic and crueler tendencies however my belief is that they were nurtured by a simple thing that has great impact especially on children, a lack of someone to trust.
Unreliable adult figure in her life #1! Her mother, Ursa. Ursa put herself at a distance from Azula, one of the most memorable lines in which she speaks to her daughter in front of her daughter is,
"What is wrong with that child?"
Her reaction to jokes that Azula tells no matter how mean spirited they might be give off a cold and almost fearful relationship. Ursa did not act as a mother to Azula in any way. Azula saw this and acknowledged it. Azula's view on her relationship with her mother is easily summed up in Azula's comments in the episode The Beach.
"My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right, of course, but it still hurt."
Unreliable adult figure in her life #2! Her uncle, Iroh. While there are very few people who don't like Iroh in the show he is still human and does have a few faults. One of these failings of his is how he treated Azula. (Or at least this is my opinion on the matter.) Similar to Ursa, Iroh kept Azula at a distance. In the flashback to when Iroh is leading the siege at Ba Sing Se he sends a knife to Zuko and a doll to Azula. If anyone new Azula for more than a few days they would know that a doll is not the right gift for this person. Iroh giving Azula a doll and then a knife to Zuko is kind of a cold move.
We know that gender roles aren't really a thing in the Fire Nation, definitely not to the extent that the Northern Water Tribe has. We see a female soldier at the Boiling Rock and it's implied that there are other female soldiers among the army. Mai and Ty Lee are both trained in combat and Mai's proficiency with knives did not seem out of the ordinary. This makes Iroh's gift to Azula even more distant feeling. He could have sent a second knife or if he wanted to discourage her from violence try to find a better suited gift but a doll was not the right gift. And honestly, she already had flamethrowers at her hands whenever she wanted.
There's also after the episode The Chase when Iroh is injured after Azula shot him with fire trying to escape and Iroh is trying to teach Zuko how to redirect lightning, Iroh says something that even though Azula is on the enemy side feels like it's a little bit much to be aimed at a 14 year old girl even if she is dangerous.
"She's crazy, and she needs to go down."
Unreliable adult figure in her life #3! Her Father, Fire Lord Ozai the manipulative man himself. This man is so cold and manipulative that he knew exactly what to do to achieve what he wanted. He favored Azula because she was strong and his wife feared her and so he had the full ability to influence her without his wife's interference. He gave her just enough affection for her loyalty but purposely left her starving for verification and affection from him. He made sure to leave her scared of him leaving her.
At the very end of the show in the scene where he crowns himself Phoenix King she comes up and mentions that they will be leaving soon or something along those lines and he corrects her and says that he will be leaving that she'll be staying and she gets mad. She tells him that he can't throw her away like Zuko and that it was her idea in the first place. While she seems mad it's more fear in her eyes. Ozai turns to her and simply says
"Azula"
Any traces of anger are replaced with total and utter fear. If you look at the placement of their positions it's similar to Zuko in the Agni Kai when he got his scar. One could draw the conclusion that she was afraid of him treating her like Zuko and abandoning her. Ozai knew exactly what he was doing in this scene. He knew exactly what he was doing in every scene in relation to Azula.
In conclusion? She had literally no one she could trust. Those were the adults in her lives and she was the royal princess, nobles were going to want to use her and servants were beneath her and would not try to form that kind of relationship with her. There is an exception to this, she did have two friends after all who she did trust— to a point. Mai and Ty Lee. Well look where that ended up. At the Boiling Rock they betrayed her, this is exactly her breaking point. After that episode was when she descended into madness. Their betrayal was the cause or breaking point. She literally had no one she could trust.
Under Ba Sing Se she offered a way out for Zuko— that he took. She risked her own skin to make a place for her brother back at home. She wanted someone to trust even if it was subconsciously that she was trying to seek someone out. She knew her brother like the back of her hand, she knew he was too weak (kind) to try to manipulate or use her. She tried to help him how she could in her own way. (Keep in mind that he threw this away on The Day Of Black Sun and Ozai probably confronted Azula in some way about his confession and her lies.)
Also in the episode the beach she laughs when someone calls Ty Lee a circus freak but then looks regretful when Ty Lee lashes out. Azula does have compassion she just doesn't show it, generally in regard for her own safety.
In conclusion Azula really just needs someone she can legitimately trust who won't try to use her or manipulate her or hurt her. Also, she's 14.
This is also how people can make fanfiction where in post war Zuko and Azula end up in a shaky relationship because Azula realizes that overall he is her safest bet as far as someone she can trust.
If you're still here then thank you for reading my mind dump.
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stargazer-balladeer · 4 years ago
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S/o’s birthday but locks themselves in their rooms because they don’t feel special [Genshin Impact]
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Characters Included: Aether, Childe, Diluc, Kaeya & Venti.
Notes: Ayeeee! Since it’s my birthday today, why not make this? :))) I actually got carried away 🥲 this is around 3.5k words in total. Hope ya’ll like this!
Reader’s Gender: Neutral (tho i think there’s a slight implied female hehe…)
Warning: probably some swear words here and there knowing me- and mild suggestive themes in kaeya’s part 
[albedo, scaramouche, xiao]
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Aether remembers your birthday more than he knows his- like srsly, he’s the kind that remembers his s/o’s bday more than his. He’s also the kind that celebrates it privately unless you want to celebrate it with others, which he doesn’t mind. He might have a hard time deciding what kind of gift you want, but sooner or later, he already has one (or multiples bc he can’t decide-). 
Imagine his confusion when your day finally arrives but he can’t find you anywhere, even Paimon, who was excited to celebrate your bday (“oohh~ I can’t wait to eat the cake!” - Paimon), seems confused. Probably the culprit in planting worry in the travellers head as she jumps to conclusion that you might’ve been kidnapped. 
Luckily, he checked your house before he could report it to the knights of Favonius or the Qixing (like any normal person should do really-). When he received no reply, he takes out the spare key you gave him and entered your house, an invasion of privacy he knows but it's an emergency- 
Knowing that you’re in your room when he can’t find you downstairs, he knocks on your bedroom door softly while calling your name. Imagine his (and Paimon’s) relief when the door cracked open. Immediately engulfing you into a hug, he lets out a sigh of relief. He then proceeds to ask you what you were doing inside your room when it’s your birthday. His heart literally broke when you stated your reason. Tightening his hold around your figure, he smiles bitterly, knowing that feeling all too well..
“That’s not true. None of that stuff is true. Everyone deserves to feel special on their birthday, most especially you. We’ve brought some food, and cake of course. Also some gifts from other people. If you want, do you want to celebrate it with just the two, or rather three, of us?”
You, who was a literal angel in his eyes deserve the world. He honestly wants to find whoever put that idea in your head but that was reserved for another moment. For now, his main priority is your happiness. Guiding you downstairs where Paimon was (she left when aether hugged you, knowing you two needed privacy. also the cAKE-), he watches as your eyes sparkle at the sight of the cake. 
Grinning softly he made sure you had fun with your birthday. Even though it would be more fun with more people, it feels more special if it’s celebrated with just the two of you. Staring you with pure adoration as you laughed merrily at the sight of Paimon stuffing herself with food. He couldn’t help himself but lean forward to place a kiss on your forehead and then on your lips, leaning back with a smile on his face. 
“Happy birthday, my love. May many more to come. Maybe next time, we can invite other people. Though I don’t mind if we’ll celebrate it with just the two of us only-” And Paimon! Don’t forget about Paimon!” “Yes yes. And Paimon.”
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Similar to Aether, he would most definitely remember your birthday. After all, it holds a special place in his heart, alongside his family. And since this boi is rich af, he would most definitely try to spoil you on your birthday. Piles of expensive (or just cheap yet meaningful) gifts, reservation to a high-class restaurant in Liyue Harbor, and all that glamour. 
Actually, he didn’t find it odd that he didn’t see you immediately, thinking that you overslept or just relaxing in your house. But he soon finds it weird when it’s already around 3 in the afternoon and no sign of your face in the crowd, something he raised a brow at but shrugged it off. It isn’t until it’s almost the time of the reservation he made when he finally realized what’s going on. 
When he arrived at your house, dressed in a suit similar to Zhongli except it’s entirely black and white, waiting for you to come out. After a couple of minutes, he soon got concerned and decided to enter your bedroom through the window (pls do not do this at home). Startled at the sudden appearance of your handsome yet cheeky boyfriend, he stares at you with eyes asking the questions he didn’t dare to tell. 
Knowing he will get his answer one way or another, you decided to tell him about your dilemma. After you finished explaining yourself, silence surrounds you, which is quite worrisome since your boyfriend is known for his rather talkative behavior. Blinking in surprise at the sudden embrace of the 11th Harbinger, his hug was rather tight but not too tight that it cuts your oxygen. Speaking in a low, faint voice, a surprising feat for him, you can make out what he said as clear as day. 
“I’m sorry. I should’ve noticed it sooner. I was trying to be a perfect boyfriend for you but I guess I failed in that aspect. You know, if you feel like you aren’t special enough to celebrate your birthday, then what about me? Me who stained his hands with the red blood of his enemies, always engaging in a fight, clashing with other blades. Insecurity is really an asshole huh? Let me make it up to you now. Let’s not anymore go to that stupid high-class restaurant, c’mon, up you go. You better dressed comfortably when I come back or else…”
Leaving you quickly before coming back immediately, this time in more comfortable clothing rather than the stiff suit he wore earlier. This time as well, he entered your house normally through the door. In his arms, he was holding a bunch of stuff and proceeded to dump it on the living room table. It was different kinds of movies in different genres, you spotted some of your favorite movies in them (makes you also wonder where he got these from since you don’t remember seeing these in the room he stays-).
He would suggest making a pillow fort, and while making the pillow fort, he proceeded to smack you with one. Which ensued a pillow fight between you two. It successfully made the both of you a laughing mess by the end, filled with feathers. Childe then carries you bridal style to the incomplete pillow fort and starts the movie you chose. Placing you in his lap and placing his head either on your shoulder or head depending on your height, cuddling you from behind tightly with a contented smile on his face. 
“You know what? This might not be how I envisioned how your birthday would go, but I’m not complaining. Happy birthday, comrade. My most adorable and most cutest and only love. I love you so much that you’ll be the very reason why I die so suddenly. So stop being so cute okay?” 
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(You two are living together in this one.)
Diluc has the probability of forgetting your birthday due to his busy schedule, especially if it’s starting to rise when your birthday draws near. He might neglect you for a couple of days, too engrossed in his work. When the day finally arrives, it completely leaves his mind. Like he’ll think of it as a completely ordinary working day. It isn’t until one of your friends told him to send you their birthday greetings that he remembered. And oh boy does he feel guilty, like srsly, he literally froze when he realizes what day it is today. And you know what that means? ✨Panicc✨
Honestly, I can see him buying the whole store XD. In the state of panic, his common sense just leaves him completely that he ends us buying practically the whole store. It would be sent to the Dawn Winery immediately as he buys some flowers from Flora, who also sent you her birthday greetings, which made him more guilty-
When Diluc steps foot inside the manor, he tries to search for you outside the gardens where he usually finds you but when he doesn't, he gets worried. Asking the head maid immediately about your whereabouts, and his concern and worry (and guilt) grew even more when he finds out that you haven’t gone out of your room. He quickly went to your shared room, with the flowers still in his hands, and knocked on your door. Calling your name softly and asking for permission to enter, when granted he entered the room as quickly as possible. But seeing the sight of you bundled up in your blanket made his heart crack.
Placing the flowers at the bedside table, he quickly made his way in front of you and kneeled down to meet your eye level. You can tell he was very worried about you with how frantic his eyes seem and the concern underlying it. With the way he was staring at you, you can’t help but spill your insecurity to him. The reason why you were hiding in his room rather than go out to celebrate your day of birth. Every word you spill made his heart break even more. Seeing tears started to leak from your eyes, he placed his two hands on your face wiping away the tears with his thumbs. Smiling at you gently and placing a kiss on your eyelids and on your nose.
“I completely understand, my love. Even I sometimes feel that way. Also to the point where I don’t want to celebrate my birthday even, but that won’t do my love. You are so special, you deserve your special day to be well special. If you want to simply lay here and sleep, then so be it. If you want to go out and do something, then I’ll happily oblige. Let’s obliterate those awful thoughts, and if those keep persisting, I’ll slice them up for you. I’ll keep picking you up when you fall. So, what is your command, my love?” (i'm so tempted for him to say master-)
Whatever your answer may be, one thing for sure, Diluc is seen smiling adoringly at you. Even the maids noted how soft the master is around you, particularly today. Whether curled up together in the bed, with him embracing you tightly to his chest and placing a kiss on top of your head. And if you listen carefully, you can hear him quietly humming a tune that his father (or mother) sang to him. Or you two outside in the garden, simply admiring the view with his hand around your waist. 
Either way, at the end of the day, he would wake you up or make you go inside for dinner. You haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch yet so you’re probably hungry by now. If you don’t want to leave your room or want to return to your room, he would understand and make the maids bring the food to you. When the maid(s) finally arrives with the food, you notice the cake on the tray. Looking at him as he chuckles, taking the trays from the maids. Humming a light tune, he scoops a spoonful of cake and holds it to your mouth, with a slight smirk on his face, eyes twinkling with mischief. 
“Stop staring at me like that, did you really think I would let the day go by for you to not celebrate your birthday properly? From what I know, birthdays have cakes in them, whether a huge cake or a cupcake. Say ‘ahh’~... Happy birthday my love. May next year be more enjoyable than now.”
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Kaeya remembers your birthday like the back of his hand, I think he’s even more excited than you really. Eagerly awaiting your birthday as he counts down the days, dropping hints and stuff to you birthday-related, and probably plans a birthday party for you. The knights immediately agreed on it, including a certain bard, traveler, and wine master (albeit more hesitantly). He made sure that this party would be successful, constantly checking on the plans and such. To the point that everyone was practically fed up with his constant questions. But they understand that he wants this to be a successful and enjoyable party for you. It got to the point where Diluc kicked him out of his Tavern after asking for the umpteenth time. 
When your day finally arrives, he was practically beaming with joy and excitement. To the point where he can’t hide it behind the cool and suave facade he wears. He quickly made his way to you, going along with the plan of distracting you as they started to prepare for the party. In his total excitement, he didn’t notice the rather gloomy atmosphere around the house. But when he arrived at your door, that is when he noticed how quiet your house is.
Now albeit worried, his excited smile slipping from his face and now replaced with a worried frown, he knocked on your door, calling you in his usual teasing voice. When he didn’t hear your response, the bubble of anxiety appeared in his body. Twisting the knob and finding it unlocked, he quietly and carefully opened the door. Seeing your back immediately, seeing your side rise and fall making him sigh in relief that you were still alive. Closing the door gently but made a noise to alert you of his presence. Taking a seat behind you, he ran his cold fingers on your back, watching you arching at the sudden coldness of his fingers. Smiling slightly, he asked what’s wrong. 
Turning around to face him, you buried your face on his chest, inhaling his strong masculine scent. Instinctively wrapping his arms around you, he played with your hair with one of his hands. Tapping on your head slightly, beckoning for you to answer his question. With no way out, you decided to come clean. You explain how you feel like you don’t feel like you deserve to be treated as special on your birthday and all that sort. His face was void of emotion as he stared at the ceiling with his unique pair of blue eyes. Outside he might seem emotionless. But inside, he was on the brink of insanity. Who dares to put such an idea on his s/o’s mind? Why would you think of that? Was this insecurity of yours also his fault?
“That must be the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re not special? Please. Don’t try to make me laugh with that joke ‘cause it’s not funny. You are a jewel, a star, a constellation. As rare as the gems, or rather visions. You can even rival the very sun with your smile. I know those demons in your head keep saying those words to you, the temptation is so tempting, right? Just succumbing to them to make them quiet. But that’s why I’m here, my dearest snowflake. I’m here for you. You’re so special to everyone, most especially to me. You mean the world to me. Anyway, enough of this tear-jerking stuff, we have a party to celebrate. And we can’t celebrate it without the birthday gal/guy now can we?”
Despite your protests, he lifted you effortlessly and carried you outside and into the dawn winery where the party was held. Placing you on the ground and pushing you forward where people from Mondstadt came and greeted you with happy birthdays. Smiling at the sight of you being overwhelmed at the warm greetings, and then chuckling at how bright your face became. Diluc nudges him to you, beckoning him to help you before returning to what he was previously doing (most likely trying to force a bard to not finish all the wines in the vicinity).
After a while in the party, Kaeya brings you to a secluded place with no people for air. Being in a party filled with people could be suffocating at times, especially if you’re not used to it. He intertwined his hands with yours and bends down to meet your eye level (or leans down if you have the same height as him-). He gives you a cheeky smile and proceeds to place a peck on your lips. Chuckling when you pouted and glared at him, wanting more kisses.
“My my, what a greedy vixen~ But it is indeed your birthday so I guess I have no choice but to oblige to whatever my birthday vixen wants me to do. Would you like me to strip as well? Haha. Kidding kidding. Happy birthday, princess/prince. May many more to come. Oh! I forgot. I heard from a certain birdie that you ordered for a personal performance from me~ would you like to get it now?” 
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Since we all know that Venti practically doesn’t do anything like every day, I would safely say that he would remember your birthday. Probably save some mora to buy you a gift for your birthday, even though it’s not as fancy as the people in Liyue (they all rich kids-), it’s still meaningful. He probably made a bracelet all by himself with the beads he either bought or also made by himself. Nevertheless, he was as excited as Kaeya for your birthday. Already prepared songs to sing for you when that day comes. 
Venti immediately searches for you when the day finally arrives, but his excited and bright smile vanishes when he can’t find you in the crowd of people. Raising a brow at your sudden disappearance, he searched for you everywhere, the tavern, the church, the headquarters, everywhere but your house. So when he finally arrives at your house, he was filled with worry and concern. Entering your room through the window like usual, he sees your figure sitting on the floor while reading a book.
He pouted at the sight as he made his presence known by asking you why you were here and reading a book on your birthday. He watches as you jump from where you are and turns to look at him, sighing at the sight of him. He slowly made his way to you and sat next to you, his legs sprawled across the floor. He takes note of the food around you, which was non-birthday festive, it was just ordinary food. Not understanding why you’re sulking in your room, he asked you what’s wrong. 
Venti’s eyes widened at your explanation, feeling the sadness leaking at the words you said. They weave themselves around his heart, squeezing it, making him have a hard time breathing. He shares your pain. He was your soulmate after all. He immediately engulfed you in a hug, stuffing his face on the crook of your neck. You were so vulnerable in his eyes. You were so fragile. He desperately wants to protect you from the pain. But looks like he can’t protect you from your own demons. 
“Even though I promised myself to not say or do anything that’ll make you sad, I just need to get it off my chest. I’m sorry you had to suffer through that, those demons that a simple bard that weaves stories into songs can’t erase. Alright, no more feeling sorry for yourself. It’s time to get out and spend the rest of the day enjoyable, perfect for my precious Cecilia.” 
Without any warnings, he picked you up and jumped out of your window. Shrieking at the sudden fast pace, you instinctively wrapped your hands around him as he landed on the ground. Giving you a smug smile while saying “didn’t think i’d let you fall now?” Please slap him. Anyway, he laughed at your aggression and continued to run. Even if you ask where you’re going, he just says it's a secret. So might as well enjoy being in his arms as he continues to run (you swear you can feel the wind adding to his speed but that was just maybe your imagination-).
After a while, he placed you down and you realized where you are. It was Starsnatch Cliff, surrounding you were Cecilia flowers. Venti jumped on you, making you fall to the ground as he giggles. His hat flown back from the force of his sudden attack, he still has that stupid big smile on his face. Since his laughter is contagious, you couldn’t help but laugh alongside him. His eyes glistened with delight at the sight of your smile finally. Grabbing your hand and placing the bracelet he made, he pressed a kiss on your knuckle.
“This bracelet shall be a promise from me to you, a fellow bard to the fairest queen/king. I shall love you for eternity, this heart will only beat for you, and this body belongs to you. If you’re in dire need of assistance, don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll be there, forever and always. Happy birthday, my sweet flower.”
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[x] Main Page || [x] Mondstadt Page || [x] Fatui Harbingers Page 
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sukirichi · 4 years ago
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earned it [04]
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Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.
cw. DARK CONTENT, graphic violence, mentions of blood, explicit murder, sexual violence, angst, tw dubcon, mentions of mass murder, death threats, cheating, implications of suicide, typical mafia business + very unedited (please PLEASE read at your own discretion! if you do not wish to proceed to read because of the aforementioned warnings but want to know what happened anyway, please drop into my asks and i’ll retell it in a much less graphic version!)
chapter song. never forget you (zara larsson, mnek)
series masterlist
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Death.
The stench of it reeked everywhere. Blood pooled at the ends of your dress, the warm liquid dripping from your fingers. You couldn’t see what was in front of you, not when your vision had been obscured black, painted red with everyone’s lifeless eyes staring back emptily at you and carrying an ominous message behind words that never had the chance to be spoken.
Satoru was gone.
You ran through flights of stairs as you bunched your dress up, dried blood present on your cheek. The gray cemented walls of this unknown building began to close down on you, suffocating you, trapping you – and then there he was. Your lover, your world, your everything – he stood on top of a pile of bodies, his face as grim as the deaths he’s caused, but that wasn’t what stood out from the scene. It was the fact you couldn’t recognize him anymore; the man before you was nothing else but the devil incarnate himself. Then, just as you ran his way, fingers outstretched to grasp at his shirt, Satoru disappeared.
He was gone.
A scream ripped out your throat as you scrambled for the sheets, pulling them up in a haste to shield yourself. The images were now gone, but that fear kept drumming into you, gloops of blood making its way through your room’s white exterior.
It’s not real, it’s not real – Satoru’s arms snaked over to your side, his eyes droopy from being woken up. You would’ve apologized, knowing he never really got proper sleep, but you were already wrapping your arms around yourself, gaze repeatedly darting back to the walls – to check for bodies, for blood, for death, for him.
“Hey,” Satoru drew you close to him until your head fell on his chest. Out of instinct, you flattened your ear above where his heartbeat rested. Thump thump – he was real, he was safe, alive – he wouldn’t do that. Satoru wasn’t that kind of person. You clung to him like a koala and mumbled incoherently at the skin of his neck, clutching his shirt so tight it wrinkled horribly. Satoru merely littered kisses all over the crown of your head to soothe you, although he was not free to this fear you felt; he was just as nervous for an unknown reason. “Angel, what’s wrong?”
“You-you were leaving—”
“Shh, angel, I’m not, I’m here,” he wrapped you closer to his body, the sheets still warm and smelling like him as if to add reassurance to his words. “You’re alright. I’m here, angel, it’s okay.”
“I was going to die,” you quivered. It had only been a fleeting moment when you saw it, but you were there too. Dressed in white, arms covered in lace and a crown adorning your head; it seemed as if you were meant to be on top of the bodies, and Satoru sat upon it like a throne. It transitioned from being the witness to being the victim in a minute and your chest squeezed so hard you choked out, “I was dying, baby.”
“You’re not going to die. No one’s going to hurt you, you understand?” Satoru cupped your cheeks to force you to look him in the eye. “I’m going to keep you safe no matter what. Not leaving your side, angel, that’s a promise.”
“Don’t you dare.”
“I would never do that,” he nodded before he raised your pinky. Satoru looped both your fingers and kissed the conjoined form, not once leaving your gaze the whole time. “I promise,” he whispered, foreheads touching and breaths mingling. Like one soul intertwined, you once mused, feeling yourself get lost in the depth of azure pools he harboured. “There’s nowhere to go without you anyway; you’re the greatest gift in my life. I’d do anything for you.”
“Don’t leave me. Please.”
“I won’t, angel. I never will.”
And you believed that. Like the fool you were, you really believed that.
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The bank loomed over you, its mere presence impending and bringing about a wave of discomfort to you. Awkwardly, you stepped inside, hiding your face in your hair to conceal the nausea threatening to urge you to throw up. You couldn’t help but survey the entire area out of instant wariness, holding tighter to your phone.
Seeing as there was no line, you sat on the nearest open window. “Hi, uhm…I recently got transferred this money from…an old friend, you could say,” you informed with furrowed brows, fishing your phone out of your pocket as you logged into your account. The whole time, your hands turned sweaty and the phone nearly slipped from your grasp out of anxiety. The woman assisting you flashed you a sympathetic smile, patient and kind enough to listen to your small voice through the glass. “I lost contact with them so I can’t return it. I was wondering if maybe you could help me rewind the transaction?”
“Oh, we can definitely do that Ma’am, may I see?” Nodding, you handed her your phone. In an instant, the polite smile fell from her lips, altering into a nervous one the next. “Oh…” she blinked back at the digits, clearly overwhelmed from the amount of zeroes. Dropping her voice, she leaned closer to you, “Do you…do you know the account owner personally?”
“Yes,” you admitted, “Well, I used to.”
“And they wired you all this?”
“About two weeks ago, yeah.”
The employee sat there for a full minute, possibly contemplating how to go about this. It didn’t set well with you – that mysterious, almost suspicious smile she had – that you debated whether just asking for your phone back. “Excuse me for a moment. I think I should take this to the higher-ups,” she announced while scanning the bank with narrowed eyes, leaving before you could have a say in it.
The next minutes that passed had never felt more gruelling.
You sat there with a frantic heart, your jeans damp from the countless times you’ve wiped your hand on it. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. People came in for their own agendas, the hushed ‘inside voice’ as faint as ever, then they left. Repeat. End of conversation.
It was just another normal, boring day for everyone else – but not for you.
“Miss?” a voice pulled you away from your thoughts. A half-bald man was now standing before you, the previous employee you’d been talking to right behind him, her head ducked down. Manager, his tag read, which made sense. He gestured for you to come inside the back parts of the bank, and you gripped your purse tighter as you followed them.
The inside wasn’t that special or different from the outside. There were lesser chairs but bigger, brighter white walls. His office was located right in the middle where the female employee closed the glass doors behind you, silent and timid as she prepared you tea. Meanwhile, you sat there with your hands wrung in your lap, stomach already falling from the grim expression he wore. “About the funds, I’m afraid we can’t do anything about this transaction. While it had been transferred you, neither us nor the bank has the authorization to do anything about this. Whoever sent it to you is the only one that can either take it back or liquidize it,” he pushed his glasses back to his face, an apologetic sigh leaving his lips. “I’m afraid we can’t help you with this, Miss, we’re really sorry—”
“No!” you slammed your palms on the desk, “No, I don’t want the money, wire it back to him!”
“Miss, we already told you, it’s out of control—”
You shook your head. This wasn’t real – Satoru had to be joking! He couldn’t just give you this and disappear into thin air! In fact, you never even cared for the money; you were just hoping that maybe you’d find a way back to him if nothing but digits was the only thing left to prove he even existed. Desperation clawed its way through your throat as you fell on your knees, helpless tears streaming down your face. “Please, you have to do something, I don’t want the money, I just want him back, please! I just need to talk to him once more and he’s your client, right? Let me talk to him, I know you have contact with him, Sir, please, I’m begging you—”
“Security!” the manager hollered. The sounds of doors slamming open made you stand up straight, eyes wide at the incoming pairs of guards ready to escort you out. “It’s best you schedule a personal appointment with the account owner, Miss. We also suggest you remain on the down-low instead of causing a ruckus like this. You don’t know who’s going to be grabbing at every opportunity to take what was given to you.”
“Everything’s been taken away from me!” you argued back, walking around the desk to clasp the manager’s hand. He pulled away for a moment before you squeezed his hands, the tearing of your heart too painful to bear. You just wanted to see him. “Come on, please, I don’t care about the money, I just—”
They didn’t let you finish. Just like Satoru, just like everybody else, they discarded you to the side, treated you like you were a nobody who didn’t deserve a second chance.
“Escort her out, please.”
And just like that, your fate had been decided. No...perhaps it had been determined the moment he left, and now you walked blearily along the narrowed gaps between buildings, unable to find your way back home.
Where was home anyway? Your penthouse with Satoru? Your cramped dorm back at the university? Your empty flat that had once been a happy home with your parents before they too, left you behind with nothing but a family portrait as a memory? It was pathetic. You meant nothing. Obviously, no one valued you enough, not even Satoru who’d just given you enough to let you live comfortably for the rest of your life. But no matter how much he provided, it wasn’t what you wanted. It wouldn’t bring back the one thing you wanted most, and you fell on the rough pavement, too tired to care about the stinging of your palms.
You clutched at your heart in a debilitated attempt to soothe way your chest squeezed uncomfortably. You were literally in the middle of the nowhere, trapped between the walls that hid you in the darkness and muffled your cries.
He’d left – he really left.
He didn’t keep his promise, and your nightmare had now become reality. You had to bite down your shirt to keep the agony to yourself, nails dug so deep into your jeans it left a mark above your skin. Hours passed, maybe minutes – who knew?
The sun had gone down and the streets grew busier than before, the honking and lively bustling of the night city like background noise to you.
Your key back to the penthouse weighed heavily at your back pocket. There was still the option of just going back home, but what good would that do? Everywhere you went, you were reminded of him. There was no escaping the beautiful memories he left you with, there was no exit from his miserable dream you were forced to wake up into.
Nothing mattered anymore. You felt so lost, the motivation to find your way back depleted just like your energy. You only had your bodily instincts to thank for when your stomach grumbled, demanding to be fed and nurtured even in such a hopeless situation. It made you want to laugh – that even as your heart and soul gave up on you – your body was doing its best to keep you alive and get through the day. You heaved yourself away from the wall and wiped the dirt away from your palms, the rhythm of your feet one heavy clump next to the other.
There was a nice Chinese restaurant at the end of the street that glowed brightly, invitingly. If you could just have dinner, maybe you’d feel better.
But you never got three steps across.
A cold blade had been pressed to your neck, sinister laughter echoing from the darkness of the night. “Scream and you die, sweetheart,” a gruff voice crooned in your ear, followed by a more high-pitched, maniacal chuckles. There was two of them. Fear lit your nerves up and you scrambled to run, but this man was too strong. He didn’t even have to try too much into increasing pressure to your neck, slicing the first layers of your skin that was enough to prick both blood and tears from you. “Ah, ah, ah! Resisting won’t get you anywhere. We just want to talk, okay? No foul play needed.”
You shut your eyes in submission, too afraid to even swallow the bile rising in case the movement would push the knife further. You could only let out a weak, “What do you want from me?”
“Oh, what else?” said his accomplice, showing up in front of you with a creepy smile. He tipped his head side to the side, revealing the silver replacements of his teeth that glinted under the streetlights. “You got his hidden slush fund, didn’t you?”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t need to lie, we saw you leave that bank. Plus, everyone’s been talking about it!” cheered the guy behind you, pushing you forwards with his blade finally withdrawn. You stumbled on your feet as they pointed to the nearest ATM. For a moment, you contemplated making a run for it. The ATM was only a few kilometres away from the Chinese restaurant and you could be safe if you run fast enough, but you were too obvious, the deceit written all over your face. The first guy then pressed a gun against your head, a silent reminder that you were the weaker one here. “Don’t even think about it,” he warned, “Now you’ll withdraw it little by little, okay? We just want a piece of it, a fraction of it is enough to last us a lifetime.”
Exhaling deeply, you raised your hands in surrender. “I can’t withdraw it.”
“The fuck did you say?”
“I said I can’t withdraw it! I don’t have access—”
“Bullshit, bitch, you’ve got so much of it, just give to us before we kill you,” he cocked his gun, his friend following suit and retrieving a pistol from his belt. Your lips quivered at the sight of two guns aimed at your way, but you remained firm in your spot, shaking your head at them. The man’s eyes darkened, displeased by your response. He narrowed his eyes at you before nodding to his friend.
“Fuck this man, she’s a selfish cunt. Take her phone and her belongings.”
“No, please, don’t—”
It was too late. They had pushed you on the ground, your bum throbbing from the fall. The second guy rummaged your pockets before pulling out your wallet, jaw dropping from the contents. “Fuck,” he exclaimed, flashing a Polaroid you had kept the whole time. “This you and Six Eyes?”
Your heart fell.
It was a photo of you and Satoru on your first anniversary where he’d whisked you off to a sky tower, arrogantly declaring that he’d make you experience the best date ever.
He wasn’t lying – his arrangement of fireworks and a romantic date in the sky really had been the best – and he’d snapped a picture of you then, sneakily landing a kiss on your cheek while you gasped at the display of fireworks before you.
Just seeing it felt like torture all over again, and the thief snickered at your tear stained face. “Oh, I see. You’re his whore, aren’t you? Everyone called it bullshit when word got around Six Eyes had a little angel hidden somewhere around here. I gotta say though, you are a pretty thing. Makes sense you got him pussy whipped.”
“Whoever Six eyes fucks – especially someone he liked enough to pay this much – that is fine meat, man,” the other muttered more to himself. His eyes then lit up with a thought, the smirk tugging at his lips screaming trouble. “It’d be a shame to not have a taste.”
You paled. Scrambling as much as you could with sore legs, you pushed their arms away from you. “Let go of me!” you cried out, kicking harder when they’ve discarded their guns and focused on carrying you instead. Everything muted that night except for the pounding of your heart as you struggled to get away from them, arms flailing the moment one of them yanked your shirt down to expose your bra. “Don’t fucking touch me, let go!”
It must be luck that your punch landed on his nose, a sickening crack resonating in the street. All of you remained still, with you flattening your back on the wall, arms protectively sheltering your chest and the pair staring at the other guy’s broken nose.
He winced at seeing blood on his fingers, “Oh, you’re just asking for it bitch,” he snarled, snapping his fingers to get his friend’s attention and pointing at you. “Grab her leg.”
Both of them made quick work. It all happened so fast you couldn’t tell which was who anymore. Your shirt had been ripped off; the straps of your bra tugged down to free a nipple while your arms had been knocked into the building behind you. One of them kept you immobile, their grips too strong and their bodies twice your size that you were easily overpowered. You never cried so hard in your life – not even when you realized Satoru had left – and your throat ached from how much you wept.
“Stop, no, let go of me!”
“Shut her the fuck up, bruh,” the man unzipping your jeans scowled, his fingers playing with the waistband of your underwear. You sobbed and screamed, fought hard as much as you could, but you were too weak. Too vulnerable. Too pathetic.
Maybe it was just better to let go.
Maybe it was just better to stop.
Your shoulders fell as they shimmied your jeans down your hips, each and every inch of your body no longer yours. Was this how you would die? Was this how you would finish? If so, you would’ve appreciated at least one last dinner.
You were about to close your eyes the moment you heard the sounds of a man’s belt unbuckling, too lost in your own horror that you failed to hear the screeching of tires, and neither did they. And then, like a light at the end of the tunnel, like an angel dropping from the heavens – gunshots rang through the air. Blood splattered to your cheek. Heavy bodies crunched against the ground.
He’d come back.
Except it wasn’t Satoru leaning in front of a car when you opened your eyes. The man stood a few inches shorter, blond shaggy hair falling just above his eyebrows, the ends dyed black. His body was tilted to the side, half of his weight shifted on a cane upon closer look, but you were mostly captivated in his eyes. He showed no malice intent; hell, he didn’t even spare a glance at the corpses with holes between their eyes, silently blowing the smoke away from his barrel like this was a common thing for him.
He had his eyes on you, uncaring of the fact you were half-naked before him since his attention remained on your face.
“So it’s true,” he mused, “I didn’t believe at first when they said Six Eyes really gave the notes to his girl. A commoner, no less,” he limped towards you, feline-eyes slanted to inspect you. “But nothing about you is common, is there? To get the demon to soften up…you really must be something else,” his gloved hands ran a finger down to your jaw, and you shut your eyes tight, leaning away from his touch. The man clicked his tongue at your reactions but withdrew his hand anyway, stepping a few feet away from you to give you space. “Don’t be so scared. You and I are not that different. We’re both just poor victims of facing the consequences of his actions,” he tapped his cane at your shoes, his face devoid of expression. “Stand up. You won’t get anywhere by crying. You need to learn how to fight.”
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You swung the door open, ready to finally get the shoes you’ve been gushing to Naoya about for days. But you were met with nothing but a tuft of white hair, blood smattered on his cheeks, and lips crashing down onto yours. Satoru pinned you against the wall in the same manner he held you on that day he left, his kisses harsh and longing while you moaned into his mouth, legs turning into jelly.
“Angel,” he rasped into your mouth, grinding his boner to the thin material of your night gown. “I told you you’re fucking mine.”
Satoru forced his tongue past your lips and kept you close to him, his intoxicating scent tempting you to give in and enjoy it already. For a split second, you faltered, kissing him back with the love you once harboured for him, but then you blanked.
This was Satoru.
You were married to Naoya.
He’d began to leave kisses at your jawline when you pulled back, landing a sharp elbow right at his head. Satoru fell on the floor and you panted above him as you tried to make yourself decent. Fuck, that hurt like a bitch. You had to roll your shoulders back to get rid of the tension as you made the mental note to train in combat harder, pinching the bridge of your noise before you summoned the servants.
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Satoru was knocked out for a solid hour. You found it funny that the infamous omnipotent Six Eyes was now sprawled all over your couch, soft snores emitting from his lips. He’d been pretty unresponsive to you so ice far, not even a budge as you iced the bruise you’d left on his face.
You sighed. His shirt was stained with blood, the pads of his knuckles matted with wounds and bruises. You couldn’t help yourself from brushing his hair away from his eyes, humming a little until his eyes cracked open. Satoru stared at the ceiling before his eyes landed on you hovering before him, your touch gentle in paradox to the heat of your gaze. “What are you doing here, Satoru?” you sighed, gesturing to the mess he had on his shirt. “Where have you been?”
“In a fight.”
“No shit,” you rolled your eyes, “You still haven’t answered my question. What are you doing here?”
“I-I don’t know. I just…I lost it for a moment and—”
“Do I want to know why?”
“It’s stupid,” he mumbled to himself and faced the couch. Even after seven years, he was still very much the petty kid at heart. You could confidently bet he was pouting right now, and you crossed your leg over the other, hiding a small smile behind your palm. “I overheard one of my men making a sleazy comment that Naoya’s wife looked like a bitch who would jump at every alpha male,” Satoru grumbled, prying for your reaction by looking across his shoulder. “I don’t know what came over me after that.”
“Did you kill them?”
“Almost,” he scrunched his nose, “Then I pictured your face. Maybe you wouldn’t want me to do that.”
“So you care about what I want now?”
Satoru shut his eyes. Of course you’d never stop bringing that up – both to your demises – since you were both a sadist who didn’t mind receiving pain every now and then. Five years of marriage with Naoya taught you to be resilient to all types of pain, the experiences and horrors you’ve lived through practically making you immune to them now. Satoru, on the other hand, didn’t seem to be on the same boat as you. He sat up, his hips flushed next to your thighs, burying his hands on his head. “Angel, about everything... are we not going to talk about what happened before?”
“Is there anything to talk about?” you deadpanned, surprising the guy who widened his eyes at you. Surely, he must be expecting a different form of hatred coming from you, but you were indifferent – numb, empty. “The past is in the past, Satoru. You know better than anyone else it’s easier to just walk away.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“For what?” you faked a smile, placing your chin on your hands while blinking up at him under innocent eyes. Naoya once told you that your attitude of being unbothered bothered a lot more people, and it was a technique you’ve loved ever since. Seeing Satoru crumble before you...nothing felt more satisfying. “For barging in here or for kissing me? Maybe both?”
“For everything,” he answered brokenly, “For all the pain I’ve put you through.”
“Do you think apologies are going to suddenly eradicate that?”
“…No.”
“Then I don’t need it,” you taunted, patting his thigh as you stood up, tying the knots of your robe safer this time. You couldn’t be bothered to wear underwear beneath them; if Satoru tried laying his hands on you again, you wouldn’t hesitate to cut his fingers off, and the plain sight of a dagger now strapped in your thigh was enough of a reminder for him. He made sure to keep his distance.
“Come with me. I’ll show you what we’ve been working on,” Satoru’s footsteps were silent as you led him past the secret doors hidden behind Naoya’s study, the room leading into an even bigger part of the house that stored most of your possessions. Satoru let out an awed gasp behind you once the lights and slight whirs of the machine buzzed through the room, chemicals bubbling from one side and little pills being packaged on the other. Your face lit up in a smile from the sheer pride of your hard work, arms extended to the side to present everything. “This is mostly where we manufacture Xenet. All of this – it’s mine. My personal little laboratory, or as Naoya calls it, my playroom,” you grinned, “I feel at peace here.”
“Making drugs?”
“Being safe,” you corrected with a roll of your eyes, “Acting like I’m normal. That gives me peace.”
Satoru was hot on your heels all the way to the main laboratory, where you’d pestered him into wearing safety gloves before entering. You donned a white coat from the blast of AC that enraged goosebumps, leading him in front of a huge clear wall that formulated Xenet’s pure creation. Stacks of purple powder lined up on layers all kept inside a cooling room, and you stepped to the side, muttering to yourself while checking today’s inventory like it was totally normal to manufacture illegal drugs inside your home.
You would’ve looked domestic if Satoru wasn’t feeling the slightest bit dizzy from the drug-coated atmosphere; one that you’d gotten resistant from.
“What brought you here?” Satoru voiced out, shaking his head to himself. He looked terribly devastated, cheeks sunken and dark circles lining his eyes. “I never thought...”
“That I’d be like you?” you finished for him. Tucking a stray strand behind your ear, you smiled at Satoru and pushed past him to list down your observations for today. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not like Naoya; I’m not a mass murderer.”
“But you’re supporting him.”
“He keeps me safe as long as I’m useful to him,” you paused in your tracks, the spite evident in your tongue. “If you hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t have to be like this. There are thousands of people after me because you named me after that account. Other than Naoya, there’s really no other reason I’m still alive and breathing,” Satoru was speechless from your confession, which was good, since you didn’t want him chatting too much in the first place. You ignored him as you continued typing notes on your monitor, acting unaffected, but the way you punched through the keys told a different story. “This is the least I could do for him. In exchange of protection, I’ll be sharing my intelligence and give him what he wants.”
“Doesn’t it sicken you that we’re like this? That we do all this – for money, power, control – without the slightest bit of conscience?” Satoru scoffed, “You’ve been married for him a long time. I know you’re not a stranger to the fact we even enjoy this.”
You stopped your task, turning to Satoru with flared nostrils. “You know, Satoru, painting yourself as a demon to look like a victim won’t make me sympathize,” you spat out, absolutely losing it. “I don’t care what you’ve been doing before you met me. I don’t care that you killed or hurt people. I’m not the slightest bit of the angel you claim me to be because if I was as pure as that, don’t you think I would’ve stopped loving you?”
Everything crumbled to dust.
Years of convincing yourself you didn’t care anymore, years of healing yourself, years of working hard to forget him – and all crumbled to dust.
“What are you—”
“I knew!” you cut him off, “I knew everything. I’m not dumb, Satoru. No matter how much you tried to hide it back then, I saw the blood stains. I could smell the alcohol. I know drugs when I see it,” Satoru took a step back in surprise, but you kept going. Now that you’ve started it, you might as well finish it, and your eyes pricked with tears before you could stop it. “But I never cared. I was selfish – blinded by love. Back then, I told myself I didn’t care who you were because I loved you unconditionally,” You were breathing hard from finally releasing that damn fucking weight off your shoulders, your resolve breaking as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand while Satoru remained frozen. “Every night, I cried myself to sleep. I always asked myself why did it have to be you? Why did you have to be that way? Why did you have to be a monster? It broke me to no end, Satoru, but every time I tried to think of you as awful, you would hold me so close that it felt like everything was a lie,” your voice faltered, “I loved you in spite of everything you’ve done. I’m just selfish like that.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” you cried, “Many times...I turned a blind eye to it. I didn’t want to force something out of you because I knew you weren’t ready, but I was always waiting, Satoru,” gesturing to the both of you, Satoru watched your frantic movements. “Did you think I didn’t mean it when I said I would love you no matter what – no matter who you might be? I meant every word of it. You didn’t have to leave me because I would’ve still left everything behind if you asked me to go with you. I don’t care anymore, I never did. I just wanted to be with you.”
“Angel...” he trailed off, debating whether to hold you or just stay put. Satoru chose the latter and ran his hands over his hair, breathing hard as he, too, wavered. “I was scared. Each time I see your face, I-I can’t help but think about losing you. It haunts me every fucking night that what if I’m not strong enough? What if I couldn’t protect you?” his voice broke, “You were the only good thing in my life. I couldn’t handle losing you just because you got too close.”
You shoved him hard. “That’s no fucking excuse! You told me – y-you told me that I made you feel strong, that I gave you hope, that I made you feel like nothing could stand in your way – so don’t stand there and fucking tell me you were scared!”
Satoru kept taking a step back from the force of your hits, and he took them all with a brave face, but it seemed that he too had reached his limit as you leered, “Don’t be a fucking coward!”
“It’s because I loved you!” Satoru gripped your wrists and tugged you to him, effectively taking the ability to speak away from you. “My whole life, I got everything I wanted and things were easy for me! I don’t know what it’s like to lose something because I had control of everything except you! I didn’t want you stuck and burdened with my sins all for the sake of something as greed!” he bellowed, his forehead connected with yours and the warmth of his body more than welcoming. “I am a greedy man, angel, I would take everything I want with no hesitation but I couldn’t do it with you. It was easier to let you go,” he mumbled, “Than to regret making you unhappy by revealing my true self. Because the way you looked at me – you loved me so much I don’t think I’m worthy of it,” Satoru trudged closer to you, almost rubbing his skin over your soft ones just to say, “I don’t deserve you.”
You pulled away from him.
You’d tore open every chance of reconciliation. And if you were to be honest? You didn’t regret it.
“You’re right,” you snickered sarcastically, “You really don’t deserve me. Here I thought maybe Naoya would be the weaker of the two of you, but he’s more of a man than you are, Satoru. Naoya never gave an excuse for anything – it didn’t matter whether he was capable of something or not – he always tried to the best of his ability. He’s not the type to give up before he’s even tried it,” You knew you were just pushing his buttons, this was much clear from how Satoru was holding himself back, but you couldn’t stop. You were unstoppable, harsh as you challenged your once lost lover who had now wound up before you once more.
“If you truly loved me and felt you didn’t deserve me, then don’t you think you should’ve tried harder?”
You wanted him to regret it. You wanted him to feel your pain a thousand times more. You wanted him to realize what he’d done wrong. But most of all, you wanted him to try harder, to redeem himself, to be worthy of a second chance.
But just like how he’d broken your heart before, Satoru did it again.
Because even after every fucking thing, the only thing he was capable of saying was: “I’m sorry, Angel.”
You’d grown too tired of apologies. But because it was him, because you loved him, then you’d fucking hear it all over again. Just try, you wanted to beg, try for me, Satoru.
“Your plans will continue to fail, Satoru,” you agonized, “You never protected me. The moment you left, my life turned to hell and I almost died way too many times for me to count. This time is no different. We’re all just pawns in the Zen’in’s game, so if you really want both of us to live, you should do your part,” Sighing, you turned away from him, just about ready to call it a night. You were too tired. “Give back the money to Naoya, and he’ll keep me safe until the end of it all. You can just go back to where you came from.”
“Naoya won’t stand a chance against Toji. It’s not his money anyway, he should give it back to his cousin—”
“And neither is it yours!”
“Don’t be fucking stupid, you see the flaw of his plans too!” Satoru gestured to your lab, to everything that you proudly claimed an effort of your hard work. “Even if I gave back everything to Naoya, it won’t stop Toji from anything! He might not kill you anymore, but he’ll definitely kill your husband and take over the mafia, or his kid, then where will you go?”
“Follow him into death like the good wife I am.”
Satoru was stunned by the lack of hesitance in your answer. “You’re serious about this,” he echoed, blinking back to process the gravity of your devotion to your husband. “Even if Toji somehow dies, it doesn’t change the fact Naoya will still proceed with plans to manipulate Japan to his will. He’s going to drug everyone until he’s at the top of the food chain. Your husband doesn’t want to be a businessman; he wants to be a god. Plus, he doesn’t care about you, he’s only using you!”
“Like I said,” you smiled weakly,  “He keeps me safe as long as I’m useful to him. Once he gets everything he wants, it’s game over.”
“No...” Satoru gritted his teeth, “No, I won’t let it happen. You’re not going anywhere; you’re not going to die!”
“So then protect me!” you shouted at his face, “Do what it is you never got to do before and protect me! I’m disposable, don’t you see? No matter what I do, no matter where I go, no matter how loyal I am to him, I am nothing! Each step I take forwards is just a step closer to my prolonged death!” you spewed word for word with so much venom Satoru felt like he was choking, but it was nothing in comparison as you fell on the floor, weeping with your fists pressed against your eyes. “If you hadn’t left me...I wouldn’t have to live fearing for my life every second. So protect me, Satoru. If you really want me to forgive you, at least save me this once.”
“I will, angel,” he promised – and how many more promises had he made, only to break them? You couldn’t be blamed for not believing him, for finding wariness in his words, for flinching a little bit as he crouched before you, cupping your cheek the same way he did before. “I promise you that. I’m never leaving, never gonna leave your side ever again.”
“You better not,” you chuckled darkly, eventually giving in from his touch.
Yes, he’d left you...yes, he’d hurt you – but until now it felt like home, even if it also conflicted with the fact this was wrong.
“My only wish is that when I die, I want to die without hating you,” you muttered with your lips hovering his, your breaths tangling and his hands finding its way to your hair. “So don’t make me hate you anymore, Satoru. Grant me peace before I leave.”
“You’re not going to die,” he closed his eyes and took the first leap of faith by grazing his lips with yours, a faint glimmer of the sweetness he once had the pleasure of savouring with each waking moment of his life. But he was stupid back then – he’d be even more stupid to not learn his lesson this time around.
“I won’t let that happen, you understand?” Satoru breathed out, “You will be safe. You will live.”
He had said it so confidently, so surely, that for a moment, you believed it. You believed maybe you’d really win this round and come out unscathed, to live, to survive – even if the chances were slim to none to begin with. For now, you didn’t want to be a mafia leader’s wife, nor did you want to be another’s broken lover. You just wanted to be someone who didn’t want to die, to find comfort in the empty promises from the same man who kept breaking and breaking them, and maybe for now, that was enough.
Without another thought, not even the image of Naoya’s smile, you let it go.
You pulled Satoru close to you and kissed him hard and deep, swallowing his surprised moan with that exact same greediness, that desperation to live. You knew the moment Naoya came back or Toji found you, everything would be game over. So for now, this was enough.
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A/N. SOOOOO? THOUGHTS? THEORIESSSSS? DO WE HAVE A TEAM NAOYA HERE OR IS IT JUST ME HAHAHAHAHA
taglist OPEN (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @sixeyesgojo @shingekiyofeels @q-the-rockaholic @whatthefuckisthatthing @rogueofbullshit @kat-su-ki @kellyyween @sebootyforlife @greysoulthings @charlie-xo @aoi-turtle @ladywaifuuwrites @savantsoulfinder @my-reality-is-in-my-head @hannya-quinn @90s-belladonna​ @tinyfrogsinmybrain @kinekyuroo​ @evesmores​ @ambiguous-something​ @lilith412426​ @kakashiharusohma @aizawap​ | bolded users cannot be tagged ://
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writerpeach · 4 years ago
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Hot & Cold
LOOΠΔ Kim Lip x Male Reader
9836 words
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The stars shined bright as you wandered through the downtown streets aimlessly, taking in the cool crisp air of the nighttime sky. Music filled the streets and your ears as you passed through a variety of stores, each one with its best wares on display to tempt you.
You were searching for a gift for Choi Yerim’s upcoming birthday, clueless on where to even start looking for ideas. It had been several weeks since you had been introduced to her, and while you knew a little about what her likes and dislikes were, buying the perfect gift that would make her special day seemed a daunting challenge.
The three of you were inseparable lately, spending most of your time outside of work at your favorite lunar themed cafe and the cutest barista that worked there who always threw in free drinks. Lately though, Hyejoo had spent more time than usual preoccupied with her new job until the late hours of the night, leaving you without her help and on your own for your quest.
There were the obvious choices of flowers and candy, and while you had to start somewhere those were boring choices. You wanted your gift to be special and worthy of the girl who you had spent so much time with lately, a girl who brought nothing but happiness and positivity into your life.
Walking past dozens of places, you waited for a store to catch your attention as most failed to offer anything substantial. One in particular caught your eye. Maybe it was the mannequins in the window wearing cute dresses that you easily pictured Yerim wearing, but this place spoke to you.
There wasn’t anything special or out of the ordinary as you walked in, a small looking boutique with high ceilings and bright lights, shelves filled with meticulously folded shirts and pants in diverse sets of colors, while plentiful dresses and accessories lined the walls.
You carefully looked around, not wanting to knock anything out of place as you browsed, unsure where to even begin. There didn’t seem to be anyone else in the store, which wasn’t surprising given it was rather late in the evening, approaching nearer to closing time than you expected.
“Oh, hello, sir! Welcome to Lippington’s Exquisite Clothing,” you heard a soft husky voice call out in the distance, breaking the silence as you craned your head to see a slim blonde heading in your direction.
The clack of high heels on the wooden floor grew louder with each step as she approached, her hips swaying as she sauntered through the clothing store to close the distance, forming a small smile on her lips.
When the blonde woman stepped into frame you were met with her beauty at point-blank range. It was fairly unmistakable that her golden locks weren’t natural, not that it made her any less beautiful, not a hair out of place and there must have been a lot of effort put into maintaining such a wondrous shade. You didn’t know a thing about fashion, but the black sequin dress she had on sparkled in the light, doing her small body wonders and fitting perfectly.
It seemed a little risque for a place of employment, showing off bare shoulders and barely covering up her upper chest, but you weren’t one to judge, especially when she pulled it off flawlessly. It wasn’t too tight nor was it or too short, leaving part of her body to the imagination and above else it looked expensive. You’re pretty sure it wasn’t something that could have been picked up off one of the many racks.
Her fingernails were painted dark black, something you always loved on a woman as the color matched her dress, topping it all off with a light shade of red lipstick that made her small lips pop out.
You had to snap out of your haze as you caught yourself staring, frantically darting your eyes around the store in an attempt to not appear rude.
“My name is Jungeun, can I help you find anything?”
“Ah, actually, yes. I’m looking for a present for a woman. She’s young, about your age.”
“Of course, I’d be happy to help. Is she your girlfriend?”
“Uh, not exactly. She’s a good friend of mine,” you said, stumbling over your words as true as they were. You still hadn’t formed any type of relationship with Yerim, and hearing those words out loud brought out several feelings.
The beautiful woman sensed your hesitation in answering her simple question but was eagerly happy to help anyways.
“We have several sections for women to choose from. Is there a style that you think she would be interested in?”
You found yourself caught unprepared by all her questions, even though they were just to help out. Now, whereas Hyejoo was often a sweatpants and t-shirt type of girl, Yerim loved to put in effort into her outfits, even if it was a simple trip to a convenience store.
“She wears dresses a lot. Mostly cute ones.”
“I see. Let me show you some dresses that I can help you pick out that you think she would like.”
The woman led the way as you followed, trying not to focus your attention on her backside as much as you would have liked, stopping at the front of the store in a section with several racks of dresses surrounding a giant mirror.
“Do you know what size your...friend is?” she asked, and you’re pretty sure she was teasing you. You definitely didn’t know Yerim’s size. Hell, you didn’t even know how dress sizes worked.
“No, I don’t,” you said, having a brief moment of panic. You could have asked Hyejoo, but calling her at work was an option if you could have gotten ahold of her.
“I could show you a picture of her, would that help?”
“It’s a start,” she coldly said. You grabbed your phone and looked through several pictures trying to find a suitable one that showed her body off the best, making sure to not accidentally click on the folder of private pictures Yerim had sent for your eyes only.
You came across one of your favorite pictures of Yerim, wearing a cute white flowery dress standing in front of the mirror, looking adorable as usual. You handed Jungeun your phone who stared at it intently for several moments as if she had just seen a ghost.
“Yerim…” she muttered under her breath.
“Oh, do you know her?”
“Yes,” she simply stated, handing you back her phone. “We met at Girl Front Academy and studied together for three years until we went our separate ways. I haven’t talked to her since then, but it seems she’s still sickeningly cute,” Jungeun said, and you couldn’t tell if her reaction was of annoyance or not.
“Her body isn’t too far from mine, but she’s much curvier than I am. She always had better thighs than me,” she said, and this time you could definitely tell she was annoyed as if she were lacking in the body department.
“I’ll show you a few things that should fit her.”
The smile faded from her lips as she went through several clothing racks, picking out a dress from each one that stood out in a completely different look.
“Some of these may not be her style. This one is a little frilly, and this one is maybe a little too revealing,” Jungeun said, letting you see them all. They all had their appeal, and while you could have just gone overboard and bought them all, you didn’t want to seem desperate. You needed to find the perfect dress and had confidence that this woman would help you do just that.
“I like these two,” you said, choosing one that was casual and one that was formal. Jungeun was right, one was too skimpy, too gaudy, and one was too...you couldn’t find the words but there were much better choices. They all looked nice, but the dresses left behind didn't really didn’t match Yerim’s style.
“Both excellent choices,” Jungeun said, holding them up side by side. To her left was a simple purple cocktail dress with a wide neckline and thin straps, which seemed to be about knee-length, ruffled and slightly see-thru at the base. You selfishly wanted it to be much shorter, knowing her luscious thighs being covered up was a crime but remembered this was a gift for her and not you.
The other dress Jungeun held was colorful to say the least. Lace with black at the top, dark red at the end and woven colorful fabric in the middle, equipped with a multitude of gemstones. The dress was much longer than the previous one, given Yerim’s height it would practically be touching the floor, but also had a more elegant touch to it.
To say you had trouble deciding between the two would be an understatement. Given your ignorance, you would have picked the dress on your left based on color alone.
It was a good thing you had someone who seemed to be rather informed on the subject of clothing given that it was her job as she sensed your indecisiveness as your eyes wandered back and forth.
“This one would be good for any occasion, it's thin and comfortable without being too skimpy,” Jungeun said as she held it up higher than the other.
“Now, this one is better suited to dinner parties, weddings, ceremonies, that type of thing. It’ll flatter her body more but she’ll look out of place at a cafe obviously.”
“You have a knack for this, Jungeun.”
“Ah, well, thank you,” she shyly said. “You don’t own your own store for several years without knowing a little something about fashion.”
“You own this place?”
“I do. This’ll be the third year running this place. It’s been a little dead lately, but it’ll kick back up when spring comes.”
Jungeun let out another small smile, and you’re pretty sure her arms were getting tired from holding both dresses up.
“They’re both really nice dresses, but if you still can’t decide I could help out and try them on. I may not have the body that Yerim does, but it’ll look better on me than on a mannequin.”
“You’d do that? That seems like a lot of trouble, you really don’t have to, I’m sure you have plenty of other things to do.”
“It’s not that much trouble, there’s not much else to do as you can see. Might just close up early tonight if nobody else shows up.”
“Thank you, that would be appreciated.”
“It’s no problem. I’ll be back in a bit,” she said, heading towards the fitting room in the corner, taking both dresses with her. You waited just outside the door, taking a seat on the bench not unlike the same way you had for both Hyejoo and Yerim the dozens of times you were dragged away shopping with them.
She didn’t take that long to change into the first dress, walking out of the dressing room looking ready to take the runaway.
“What do you think?” she asked, as she spun around, letting you see every aspect of her in the casual dress.
“It’ll hug her body better, but it fits me nicely. It’ll look nicer with heels of course,” she said, taking note of the fact that she was barefoot. She did look rather nice in it, the dark color offset the brightness of her blonde hair, giving a glimpse at her luscious long legs as she modeled it for you.
“I like it.”
“Don’t choose until you see the other one. I’ll be right back.”
You gave a gentle nod as she disappeared back into the dressing room, and you eagerly waited for her return wanting to see a more close up look of the other dress. You had all but chosen this dress already, the formal dress had its work cut out for it and had some stiff competition.
More time passed than was expected while you waited for her to try on the other dress, not that you felt the need to complain. Maybe she was doing something different with the second dress that required more time as you sat there patiently, wasting time on your phone.
“Hey, uh. I could use some help,” you heard her call through the dressing room stall. You got out of your seat and headed over to her direction to check it out.
“What do you need?” you asked through the other side of the door.
The woman took a second of hesitation to respond. “I think the zipper’s stuck. It won’t budge. It’s unlocked, you can come in. I won’t bite.”
You’re not sure why she added that last part, but you opened the door and stepped inside to see her back to you, the zipper caught at the top of the dress. You grabbed it carefully and inspected it, pulling it down several times to no avail as it refused to work with you, unable to move like when you woke up in the mornings. Nothing worked, and you didn’t want to be too forceful with it.
“It’s not moving.”
Jungeun sighed loudly. “I should have designed this one better.”
“You designed this dress?”
“Yes, most of the clothing in this store is my own design. Anything that’s not is from other designers I know or collaborations.”
“That’s impressive.”
“It’s nothing really, I’ve been doing this my whole life,” she said nonchalantly. “Now, if it’s not going to unstuck itself you’re just going to rip it open.”
“You want me to rip it? There has to be something here we can fix it with.”
“It’ll take too long. Just be suck it up and rip it, I can fix it later.”
“If you insist,” you said, holding on to both sides of the dress you tugged hard on it, tearing the zipper down the middle as the sounds of fabric being torn filled the room as the dress became collateral damage.
“Impressive,” Jungeun said as your attention was on the now ruined dress, the zipper all the way down and dangling off to expose her back.
“Thanks, now let’s hope this other dress doesn’t give us the same type of trouble.”
“I’ll step out,” you said, heading towards the door when Jungeun’s eyes stopped you.
”What, have you’ve never seen a woman undress before?”
“Of course I have, but-”
“But what? It’s not a big deal, but if you’d prefer to wait outside, be my guest. I won’t be long.”
Well, you couldn’t let this opportunity pass you by now.
“I’ll stay then.”
“Good. Enjoy the show.”
With your back flat against the wall Jungeun began undressing, pulling the purple thin straps down her shoulders and hesitating, teasing you for a moment as your eyes met. Taking her time, she slipped her arms out of the purple cocktail dress and slowly peeling it down her body just past her waist, exposing her tight toned midriff.
Jungeun never kept her eyes off you, inching the rest of the dress off her body and wiggling her hips until gravity did the rest. The discarded garment draped around her ankles, leaving her in an alluring pair of simple white underwear, sheer in enough places that still let your imagination run wild. It was quite an unexpected sight.
“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, trying your best to keep your mouth closed as you let out an audible deep exhale at such a gorgeous woman. Her complexion was beautiful, her skin fair and immaculate and you desperately wanted to reach out and touch her body.
“Judging by the way you can’t stop drooling over me, I’m going to guess you like what you see?”
If seeing her tight body on display wasn’t enough, she had positioned herself (perhaps even strategically so), in front of the mirror, giving you the perfect view of the white thong nestled in between her firm buttcheeks.
“Your turn,” Jungeun said, snapping you out of your trance as she placed her hands on her hips.
“What?”
“It’s not very fair for me to be the only one who’s undressed is it? Come on, I wanna see what you’re packing,” she said, her lips curling into a smirk as she crossed her arms.
Things had certainly escalated. When you walked into this store you hadn’t expected to be seeing the owner in her bra and panties, and you certainly didn’t expect you were about to match her level of nudity.
If you needed any further encouragement, her round dark eyes let you know that she wasn’t joking, and when a woman in her underwear tells you to do something you didn’t dare disappoint.
Taking a deep breath you began unbuttoning your shirt, removing each button until you had stripped it off and tossed it on the ground. Jungeun eyed your bare chest like you were a piece of meat, not unlike the way you had gawked over her earlier.
“Keep going,” she urged, and bit her lip deeply, showing her approval as you unbuckled your belt and unzipped your pants, not wasting time in yanking them off and kicked them away. It was difficult to process. There you were, standing across from a beautiful woman that owned the clothing store you had spontaneously picked, obviously ogling your mostly naked body while you were doing the same in return.
The whole series of events had gotten you so aroused that you hadn’t realized that your shaft had become full mast, sporting an unavoidable bulge through your boxers.
“Do you usually get this hard just by seeing a woman in her underwear?” she teased, as you looked down in embarrassment as your package dying to poke through, your cheeks instantly reddening.
“There’s no need to be embarrassed, it’s perfectly natural,” Jungeun said as she approached your side of the small changing room, closing the distance and cupped your crotch, causing your body to tense up.
“I’d be a little disappointed if you weren’t getting excited,” she said, continuing to squeeze your crotch through your boxers.
"How would you like it if I took everything off?" Jungeun asked, using her free hand to run her hands through her golden locks, ruffling her perfectly styled hair seductively.
“I’m not that easy, you’ll have to at least buy me a drink to get my panties off. But I’ll give you a little something to hold you over,” she said as she slowly dropped to her knees on the stack of clothes that had piled up in the middle of the floor.
Jungeun wanted one thing as she grabbed your boxers and swiftly yanked them down to your ankles, your hard cock throbbing as it was released from its frustrating restraints. Her eyes lit up in excitement as she grabbed your cock and squeezed it with a gentle pressure, delivering slow pleasurable strokes as her thumb rubbed your sensitive swollen tip, making you leak over her slim fingers.
“It’s been so long since I’ve had some good cock. Too long,” Jungeun said as she flattened her tongue against the base of your shaft, slowly drawing upward and taking her time. You let out a soft moan as her pink tongue reached your swollen cockhead, swirling around and planting a wet kiss on your tip that made you shiver in delight.
“You’re so fucking hard,” she said as her wet tongue explored every inch, lapping up every drop that escaped from your leaking slit. Her lips pressed deeply against your throbbing shaft, moving from base to tip and not letting a spot go without a wet kiss that sent tingles up your spine.
“You did this to me,” you replied, and Jungeun answered not with words but with actions as her pouty lips parted with your shaft as it entered her warm mouth, her soft lips squeezing tight around your throbbing flesh as her cheeks hollowed.
“F-fuck, that’s good,” you moaned, leaning back into the dressing room’s wooden wall, as you watched Jungeun work your cock, bobbing her head up and down as her tongue followed, playing with your sensitive underside.
Jungeun’s mouth felt heavenly, her soft cherry lips wrapped tightly around your cock as she pleasured you, focusing on the first few inches of your flesh as she enveloped it with warm and wet sensations that overwhelmed you.
“That feels amazing, d-don’t stop,” you said, as the blonde woman who was practically still a stranger never ceased her oral assault on your cock. Her warm lips left a trail of warm saliva as you felt more of her throat, watching the deep lust in her eyes as she slowly sucked you off.
Shortly after you felt Jungeun’s mouth pushing deeper, her full lips sliding down your wet shaft with ease, distracting you and making you forget everything else. Jungeun wasn’t kidding as she seemed to be deprived of the taste of cock as she hungrily slurped on your shaft, voicing her satisfaction in giving you such a wonderful blowjob.
You couldn’t just stand there and watch the action unfold as you ran your fingers through Jungeun’s pretty blonde hair, guiding her movements as you placed a hand on the back of her head. She took the hint in stride, taking more of you down her throat as she gave your shaft deep satisfying strokes from base to tip, sticking her tongue out to please every inch of you she could.
“Jungeun…fuck,” you moaned, unable to control yourself any longer and grabbed a handful of hair, forming a tight fist around a makeshift ponytail as you used it to assist her into a faster rhythm that she didn’t seem to mind.
You kept Jungeun’s mouth busy, using her ponytail as your personal set of reins to force her mouth to the very end of your base repeatedly, using her mouth without mercy. She gave no sounds of discomfort, if anything she voiced the opposite as she slobbered all over your needy shaft, covering it with her messy drool as her throat was kept filled.
You kept this up for as long as you could, savoring Jungeun’s wet and hot mouth and occasionally gave glances towards the mirror to distract you with her delicious backside as the sounds of her slurping on your cock filled the room that caused you to moan even louder.
“F-fuck, Jungeun, I’m about to cum,” you said, releasing the tight grip you held on her hair as it fell back onto her beautiful shoulders.
“I wonder what you’ll taste like,” Jungeun said as she withdrew your cock from her wet mouth with a loud pop, using her tongue to frantically trace around your swollen tip, pushing you even more over the edge.
Jungeun could sense your climax wasn’t backing down as she took control of your cock, furiously stroking it as she opened her mouth and stuck her pink tongue out as she prepared to finish what she started.
You were almost there as your breathing shallowed, every long stroke from base to tip Jungeun gave your shaft made your balls tighten even more, her tongue flicking against your dripping slit to expedite your impending orgasm.
“J-Jungeun, I’m cumming!” you cried out as her grip tightened, her eyes laser-focused onto you as your throbbing cock shot cum directly onto her wet tongue and into the back of her mouth as she emptied you.
Multiple thick spurts of cum fired from your tip that caused you to moan with need, each feeling better than the last as a milky white pool collected on Jungeun's wet tongue as she worked your shaft, making sure to drain your balls thoroughly.
Jungeun made sure she squeezed out every drop as she kept her mouth open, making a show of swirling your fresh load, sloshing it around before she closed her mouth. You watched the beautiful sight of Jungeun's throat gulping as she swallowed it all.
“Not bad, I guess,” she said, displaying her now empty pink tongue and licked her lips, sucking the sensitive tip of your depleted shaft to make sure there were no more remnants left, forcing a reaction that made your entire body shake.
Jungeun stood back up and gave your cock a few final strokes, making sure she kept a tight grip with every twist that drove you crazy.
"Okay, get out,” she abruptly said, as you leaned back against the wall in exhaustion.
“W-what?” you replied, trying to catch your breath as you picked out which clothes were yours from the discarded pile.
“I have to close this place up, it’s late and there are a lot of things that have to get done. You can leave after you get dressed.”
“What about the dress? I still need to buy Yerim something.”
“You can pick it up tomorrow, I'll hold it for you. You wanted this one didn’t you?”
“Y-yes, it’ll look good on her.”
“No, it’ll look great on her. We close at ten, show up anytime before that.”
“Can I at least get your number?”
“Ugh, fine I guess,” she said as you dug your phone out of your pants that you hadn’t bothered to put back on.
“Hope you enjoyed that. I don’t do that often, I just felt bad,” she said as she keyed in her number into your phone.
“You felt bad? That must be why I can see that wet spot on the front of your panties, Jungeun,” you said, and she quickly broke eye contact, embarrassed by her obvious enjoyment.
“You can let yourself out.”
Jungeun grabbed her clothes and left without another word, giving you one last glance at her perfect rear as she left the dressing room. You got dressed in a rush, not wanting to stay any longer and excited the clothing store, still feeling the fatigue setting in.
✦✦
Work kept you at the office longer than you had planned to be, which always seemed to always be the case, something that couldn’t be helped. After finishing tedious paperwork and last minute preparations for the next day you didn’t step out of the building until roughly after nine p.m and headed straight towards Jungeun’s clothing store, not bothering to change your clothes.
You made your entrance as quiet as possible, which wasn’t that difficult given she was finishing ringing up a customer as patiently waited for their transaction to finish up, casually browsing the clothing selection in the meantime.
“Didn’t think you were going to show up,” you heard, the unmistakable husky voice of Jungeun as she approached your area of the store. Her outfit was a little less flashy today, wearing a tight white top that showed off the outline of her breasts and very short jean shorts that showed off her amazingly long legs.
“Had a lot of work to finish before I could come here.”
“I know that feeling,” she said as she grabbed the purple dress you had decided on from behind the register.
“Don’t worry, this isn’t the same dress from yesterday, that one has been repurposed. This size should fit her, but if it doesn’t feel free to return it.”
“I’m sure it’ll fit her just fine. You know what you’re doing,” you said.
“I’d like to think so. You can go ahead and swipe your card now.”
“It’s cheaper than the price tag was yesterday,” you said as you inserted your card back into your wallet, putting in your pin number and completing the transaction.
“I threw in a discount. Think of it as a present from me to Yerim,” she said, batting her eyelashes as her lips formed a sweet smile.
“Thank you, Jungeun. That was very generous of you.”
“It’s not what you think. I’m just doing this as a favor, I don’t like you or anything,” Jungeun said as she bagged your gift for Yerim and handed it to you.
“I’m sure she’ll love it. Have a good night, Jungeun.”
You took your next step but before you could even finish placing your foot down Jungeun grabbed your wrist, keeping you in place.
“Aren’t you going to buy me that drink?” she asked, gently squeezing your arm with her small hand as you looked down at her pretty fingernails.
You didn’t typically drink on a Thursday night, but you also didn’t typically get a blowjob in a dressing room from a beautiful woman. It’s not like you couldn’t use it either, work continued to pile up and you hadn’t even had a chance to depressurize from it all.
“Okay, I’d like to buy you a drink, Jungeun.”
“Good, because I could certainly use one. Maybe even two.”
“I know the perfect place.”
“I’ll need to finish up here, looks like nobody else is showing up so I can get started on closing. Send me the address, I’ll meet you there in an hour.”
✦✦
Just a little over an hour later you pulled up a chair in a familiar place, taking a seat at the counter in your favorite dive bar you had been to dozens of times - both yourself and with the company of Yerim and Hyejoo. Taking a look around there was both familiarity and a lack thereof to the place.
New paintings had been hung, the walls painted with a fresh coat paint that made the place pop, and the rickety wooden stools had been replaced with fancier black ones, adding a hint of sophistication to the joint. It still needed tons of work but it was a start.
“Hey stranger. Haven’t seen you in a while,” you heard a distinctive deep voice speak out, one that could only belong to your favorite bartender Heejin. Your eyes met as she flashed a beautiful smile as she wiped down the counter.
“Work has kept me away from this place,” you said, as Heejin’s lips formed a deep out on her features. It was difficult to see in the dim lights, but her hair had been dyed a lighter shade of brown, making her more beautiful than the last time you came here.
“You here alone? I’m used to seeing you with those two cute girls,” she said, putting up bottles of alcohol and restocking clear straws on the counter.
“I’m waiting for someone. Met her yesterday.”
“Ooh, how exciting. Tell me all about her,” Heejin said as she leaned forward, capturing your attention.
“I don’t know that much about her yet other than she’s a fashion designer. She owns her own clothing store downtown by the pier.”
“Wow, that’s impressive. I’m sure she’s lovely. Can I get you started on anything while you wait?”
“I’ll just take a beer for now.”
“Coming right up!”
No more than a few seconds later Heejin placed down an ice cold mug directly in front of you filled to the brim with just a touch of foam. You slipped a few dollars in her stuffed tip jar, earning an ear to ear grin as she excused herself.
Moments later the seat next to you became occupied, the familiar perfume wafting through your nostrils that could be one person, Jungeun.
“Sorry I’m late, I had some last minute customers I had to deal with,” she said, placing her large purse on the bar counter in front of her.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m glad you could make it,” you said, taking your first sip of beer and wiping the foam from your lips.
“This place is a bit of a dump, isn’t it?” Jungeun bluntly said, not mincing her words.
“I don’t come here for the atmosphere.”
“Why do you come here then?” she asked, as Heejin came back and bent over to grab something off of the lower shelf, her tight pants doing her body justice as she flashed a smile as she rose up.
“Oh I see why,” she said, letting out a loud chuckle as she covered her mouth with her hand.
“That’s not it,” you insisted. “I like the drinks here. It’s not as bad as it used to be.”
“Well, I’d hate to see how bad it looked before,” she said, rolling her eyes as she signaled Heejin over.
“Hi there! What can I get you?”
“A glass of red wine please.”
Heejin was nothing but diligent and before you could blink Jungeun was inspecting her half-filled glass of dark red wine, determined to find something wrong with it before indulging. For some reason she didn’t seem like a wine girl to you, but to be fair you didn’t know much about her other than she gave a spectacular blowjob.
“You’ve slept with her, haven’t you?” Jungeun said out of the blue, swirling her glass around before taking her first taste.
“What?” you said, nearly choking on your malty beverage.
“The cute girl with the brown hair. The way she looks at you makes me think she’s done more than serve you a drink,” Jungeun teased, crossing her legs.
You sighed loudly. “What are you a mind reader? Yes, I may have seen her naked on an occasion...or three.”
“No, it just seemed rather obvious. Who you sleep with isn’t my business though,” Jungeun said, and you swore there was a hint of jealousy in her tone as she swirled her drink in the dim light and watched the red liquid sloshing around.
Jungeun looked around, unsatisfied at what she saw. Clearly she was used to a higher stand of establishment. Her wine glass was already half-finished, she quickly threw her head back and poured the rest down her mouth, and you can’t say you ever saw someone drink wine like that.
“I’m tired of this place. Let’s get out of here.”
“We just got here-”
“And I know a better place we can go that doesn’t have bad music. ”
“Where exactly would that be?”
“My apartment,” Jungeun replied, flashing seductive bedroom eyes.
“If you were that eager we could have just skipped this part.”
“What, and miss out on a free drink? That’s the only reason I showed up.”
“Oh, and here I was thinking it was because you enjoyed my company.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I-It’s not like I wanted you to fuck me,” Jungeun said, making a show out of fixing her hair as she left her chair and grabbed her purse.
“I’ll meet you outside, thanks for the drink.”
Jungeun became harder to read with every minute you knew her. One minute she was batting her eyes and flirting with you and touching your shoulder, the next she barely seemed interested in you. It didn’t matter too much as you just had a personal invitation to her place and that was your golden ticket. You had barely touched your drink but that didn’t seem as important anymore as you paid your tab and left Heejin a generous tip as always.
“Guess someones getting lucky tonight,” Heejin teased as she waved goodbye, and you weren’t quick sure what you were getting yourself into.
A short ten minute taxi ride and you were following Jungeun up a set of stairs and waiting for her to unlock her apartment door.
“It’s not much, but it’s cozy,” she said as she bent down to remove her heels as you slipped your own shoes off and gently placed them carefully on the ground.
“I’ll give you a quick tour,” she said, gesturing for you to follow her as you took a quick look around. The living room was small but decorated with various paintings and a white leather couch big enough for multiple people, with small black throw pillows on either end. Underneath the glass coffee table was a huge blue rug and a pink makeup pouch left behind.
“Here’s the kitchen. I don’t cook much,” she said as her bare feet walked through black marble tile floors that looked spotless. It wasn’t the fanciest kitchen, but you would have loved to make a meal here sometime. In the center was a small kitchen island and a few stools, the counter wiped clean and a bowl of delicious looking fruit that you couldn’t tell was fake or not.
Jungeun led you past the kitchen as you looked at the various appliances she had gathered, a high-end blender caught your eye that rivaled those you had seen at cafes.
“Here's the bathroom,” she said, a huge assortment of various types of makeup lined the counter, once again perfectly clean as if she was expecting a visitor. Her shower was quite spacious, it was definitely the first time you’d seen one large enough to have two showerheads. The wall was patterned with black tile that contrasted nicely with the rest of the white bathroom.
“Last stop,” Jungeun said as she took several steps ahead of you, giving you the chance to take in her body as her hips swayed and you watched her long legs.
“And this is where you’ll be fucking me,” Jungeun bluntly said as she stopped at her bedroom.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Miss Jungeun.”
“And why’s that?” Jungeun asked as she took a step towards you, closing the distance as she placed her hands on your shoulder.
“Who says I’m going to fuck you here? You’ve got a nice kitchen, a living room…”
Jungeun leaned in and planted a deep kiss on your lips, the taste of her lingering as she pulled back and you could see the lust in her eyes.
“You’re convincing me.”
“Then let me convince you a little more,” she said as she spun around on her heels and walked away from you, disappearing into the bathroom and shutting the door, leaving her out of sight. She didn’t spend much time inside, dramatically opening the door and came out in a luxurious white bathrobe as she appeared back in view.
“You should have a seat for this,” Jungeun said with a mischievous smile on her features as you did as instructed, taking a seat on her bed and feeling her silk sheets as you leaned back.
Jungeun made sure she had your full attention as she slowly began to untie the cotton belt around her waist, opening up as she draped it off her broad shoulders as it fell to the carpet underneath her.
The sight displayed in front of you was nothing but breathtaking, causing your jaw to drop as Jungeun’s perfect tight body was dressed in the sexiest pair of lacy red lingerie that left very little to the imagination.
“Red looks amazing on you.”
“It happens to be my favorite color,” Jungeun said, as your eyes feasted on her stunning body, unable, nothing could lose your focus. The dark red color contrasted perfectly with her milky skin. Her breasts were pushed up nicely, showing off her wide hips and delicious legs that never seemed to end.
“Are you just going to sit there and stare, or are you going to come touch me?”
That was the only invitation as you lifted your body off the mattress as your hands were practically magnetized to her body. You started at her thighs, feeling how soft they felt against your palms as you moved to her deadly hips, nothing but satisfied at how good they felt to grip.
You couldn’t help yourself one bit as you snaked around her waist and squeezed her ass with both hands, pulling her towards you and grabbing as much as you could, thankful for the fact that Jungeun loved to wear skimpy thongs. Your palms were full of her soft flesh as you kneaded them, giving her beautiful backside a loud slap that echoed and made her gasp.
“F-fuck,” Jungeun said, her words light and airy as you moved to the front of her body, up her toned midriff and up to her chest, squeezing her perky breasts through the annoying piece of fabric keeping you from them.
“Jungeun,” you said with a lowered voice as you tempted her with the idea of kiss, tilting your head as you licked her neck and whispered in her ear.
“I’m dying to fuck you.”
“P-please. You’re making me so wet,” she whimpered desperately as you buried yourself in the crook of her neck, sucking on the soft skin there with no intention to stop. Jungeun was giving herself to you in no time, letting out soft erotic moans as you nibbled on her beautiful neck.
“God, you’re so gorgeous.”
“T-thank you,” Jungeun replied as her cheeks blushed a shade of faded red as she anticipated what was next.
“Can I take this off?” you asked as you slipped a finger underneath one of her bra straps, as it practically screamed to be let loose.
“Y-yes, please take everything off me. I want you to see every inch of me.”
Her voice was just the ticket you needed as you found the clasp of her bra and unhooked it, keeping eye contact with Jungeun as you slipped the thin straps off her shoulders and tossed it out of view.
Your pants tightened as you saw Jungeun’s exposed breasts for the first time, small yet powerfully perky, not unlike Yerim. You gave several teasing licks on her nipples, causing a series of whiny moans to leave her lips as you focused on one breast, pinching the other as your lips slurped and nibbled freely.
“G-god, just fuck me already,” Jungeun begged, and it seemed she didn’t share your patience in wanting to take your time with her.
“You need it that bad?”
“Y-yes. I want you to ruin me,” she said as she looked at you doe-eyed, lips quivering as she wanted to give herself to you fully.
“I’ll be happy to then,” you said as you tilted her chin up and gave her lips one deep tender embrace, rubbing your hand across her soft cheek.
“Hold on, one more thing,” Jungeun said as scurred into her huge walk-in closet and disappeared inside it. She emerged after a few moments with something unseen in her hands as she came back into view.
Jungeun grabbed your wrist and flipped it around, dropping a bundle of red braided rope onto your palm as she shyly smiled.
“What do you expect me to do with this?” you asked, playing dumb as you felt the soft fabric of the rope.
“I want to be tied up and fucked. What else would you do with it?” she asked, biting her lip in anticipation.
“Only if you want to of course,” she added.
“I want to,” you said. You definitely wanted to. You had Heejin to mostly blame for unlocking this side out of you.
You stared into her eyes intently for one intense moment before abruptly grabbing her hips and spinning her around, admiring her naked back and her barely covered asscheeks. Jungeun’s breath hitched as you grabbed her delicate wrists and pulled them behind her back, wrapping them both in beautiful red rope as you bound them together tightly,
“Too tight?” you asked, resting a hand against her toned back and caressing her skin.
“Not at all,” she replied as you spun her back around as your eyes met, and you couldn’t help but smile that Jungeun was now at your mercy. You took advantage of this right away and roamed her body with your hands, squeezing her breasts and moving downward as you brought two fingers against her clothed heat, confirming the wetness of her cunt that was soaking through her panties.
“Safe word?” you asked as pressed two fingers against her clothed core as her legs twitched.
“Eclipse.”
“Good, then let’s get started,” you said as you helped her lower to her knees as she pressed into the carpet as you began undressing, scattering clothes around Jungeun’s body until you were left in your boxers. Your bulge poked through the material desperate to be freed, a stark reminder of the previous day
“Look what you did, Jungeun,” you said with a smirk on your lips, admiring her half-naked body as she was at your whims. Her skin grew warmer as she knelt patiently as you removed your underwear, slick dripping down her thighs and making the only piece of clothing left on even wetter.
Jungeun admired your cock with a hunger like no other as you grabbed it and slapped her pretty face with it, letting her suck your swollen tip for several seconds before removing it, causing a cute pout to form on her features.
“Don’t be greedy,” you said, caressing the side of her cheek and watching the need in her eyes.
You couldn’t help admire how pretty Jungeun was as you rubbed her soft lips with one finger, and without asking she instinctively sucked on your fingers sensually. She had a wanton need for anything inside her mouth as her lips and tongue wrapped around your fingers with the same amount of desire she had given to your cock.
Jungeun slurped hungrily on your fingers as you pushed them in deeper, moving past both knuckles and creating a slow rhythm as she gagged but her eyes begged for more as you felt her warm messy saliva seeping everywhere, making a mess everywhere.
You waited just a little longer, letting Jungeun continuously suckle on your fingers until you felt she had enough, wiping her leftover saliva down her neck and chest as you gave her stiffened rosy nipples one more pinch.
“That’s all you get for now,” you said as you helped her stand upright and lifted her frame onto the bed. Jungeun did what she could to assist as you positioned her on her knees with her ass raised as her face plopped down on the sheets, resting her chin on the mattress.
You took your position behind Jungeun’s bent over body, the thin piece of fabric nestled between her ass being the only barrier between you and nirvana. The flimsy piece of underwear was almost as dark as blood but did little to hide the wet spot soaking through, and it was hard to focus your eyes on a single part of her tight body, or the way her hands were tied behind her back.
Your hands explored Jungeun’s backside, her skimpy thong was a poor excuse to cover up any skin as you fondled her cheeks. You almost didn’t want to remove such a daring garment from her body, it looked too good on her. The thought occurred to push it to the side, giving you the best of both worlds but your animalistic urges took over instead as you grabbed the thin piece of fabric and tore it right off her body.
Jungeun gasped loudly as you tossed the ruined pair of underwear away, every inch of her body now exposed for you and all it took was one look down at her beautiful pink pussy to make your erection even stronger than you thought was possible.
Taking one more look down, Jungeun had already spread her legs for you as you grabbed your shaft and lined it with her entrance, rubbing her pink pussy lips with your swollen tip as you felt her wetness collecting on it.
“P-please, just fuck me, already. Use me!” Jungeun begged, which only motivated you to keep up the teasing, slipping yourself dangerously close to entering her and withdrawing at the last moment just to hear her whimpering moans.
“F-fuck, please!” Jungeun continued to plead, and you felt a hint of pity for her desperation and nudged yourself against her pussy, the heat radiating off her body begging you to enter her.
Just a few more seconds of teasing was all you could take - you needed her just as bad, and in one perfectly smooth movement you popped your hips and entered her, both of you overwhelmed by a hundred different sensations.
“Oh god,” Jungeun said as you moaned simultaneously, watching your tip being swallowed up by her suffocatingly tight pussy. You took a moment to let it all sink in before moving, the initial warmth and wetness surrounding your cock taking your breath away.
You didn’t remember how long you took, it could have been just a few seconds or several minutes to get used to the intense sensations as you started thrusting inside Jungeun, her silky warm flesh clinging tight as you grabbed her hips and found a rhythm, picking up speed gradually.
“F-fuck, your cock feels so good, stretch my pussy out, p-please ruin me!” Jungeun begged, her naked body at your mercy. There wasn’t much point in taking your time when both of you wanted the opposite, Jungeun’s intoxicating warmth enticing you to not keep your sluggish pace for long.
With a bruising grip on her satisfying hips, you no longer felt the need to be gentle with her and intensified your pace with every stroke, bottoming her out every time as her delicious cunt squeezed your throbbing shaft, keeping her pussy plenty filled.
The rhythm grew and grew as did the lust and desire in the room as your hips hurled against Jungeun’s ass, leaving the harsh sounds of flesh smacking against flesh that was music to your ears.
“P-pound me, f-fucking pound my pussy,” Jungeun said, her words now muffled into her pillows as your pistoning hips gave powerful thrusts as deep as you could fit your cock.
“I need to hear you, Jungeun. You’re so wet, you like being fucked like this?” you asked, grabbing a rough handful of golden hair and tangling it around your fingers, tugging back on it harshly to free her head from the comfort of her pillows.
“F-fuck yes, please keep using me!”
Her lustful words washed away any worries you were being too rough with her as you gripped a fistful of hair tighter, keeping her head upright as her pussy clenched in approval. Jungeun moaned even louder as your vigorous thrusts continued, her juices spilling out of her cunt so freely as the arousal was heavy in the air.
Jungeun’s moans turned into loud husky screams as you kept a handful of pretty hair clenched, pounding into her hole carelessly as you glanced down at her bound wrists and releasing one of your hands from her hips and without warning slapped her tight ass.
Her flesh rippled hypnotically, encouraging another slap to her behind on the other side as her walls pulsated in response.
“Harder, make it hurt,” Jungeun said, a mixture of demanding and begging and you weren’t going to back down as you winded back your arm and swung hard against her cheeks, the delicious echo of your palm striking her cheeks until the color began to match the restraints around her tied wrist.
Jungeun let out deep satisfied moans after each smack against her now tender flesh, the clench of her cunt matching the rhythm of your forceful strikes of her backside. The color of her cheeks grew darker and tears formed in her eyes from such pleasurable pain. WIth every few slaps you gave her sensitive red flesh a squeeze, rubbing out the sting until you upped the impact of flesh on flesh.
Your only regret was you were unable to see the satisfaction in Jungeun’s gorgeous eyes, but if the way her pussy was dripping all over your cock you knew she was loving every second of it.
Giving Jungeun’s bright red cheeks a break, you used your hands to explore what skin you had access to, running your hands up and down her back, feeling the sweat dripping off it as you fucked her mercilessly, the hard smack of the headboard slamming into the wall with every thrust.
“Does that feel good, Jungeun? Do you like being fucked like a little slut?”
“Y-yes, I love when you fuck me like a toy, please don’t stop,” Jungeun said with strangled words, too lost in the pleasure to think of anything else.
You released the grip on her hair, letting strands fall to her shoulders that stuck to her sweaty back as you prepared for your next step, grabbing her hips and pushing her down until she was flat on her stomach and her knees pressed into the sheets.
Your thrusts came fast and loose as your legs were spread onto either side of Jungeun's body as you fucked her senseless in this position, able to achieve a deeper sense of penetration that drove you crazy.
It didn't take long to become unhinged, your pace wild and reckless as you held on to the sides of her ass for leverage, slamming repeatedly without any concern as the room filled up with her needy moans.
"Oh my god, you're so deep! Fuck me just like this, please fuck me just this, oh fuck, oh fuck!"
Jungeun's cries threw gasoline on the flames of passion as you used more power in your hips, and you were content to make sure she couldn't walk for a week as you railed her into the mattress.
You swore the bed was about to give out, and you didn't give a damn and only focused on the hot dripping flesh you were spearing yourself into.
"You fuck me so well, holy shit! I'm so close!"
“Good, cum for me you greedy slut. Cum all over this fucking cock,” you said, as sweat drenched your forehead, the air in the room growing harder to take in. Jungeun could barely remember where she was, her mouth constantly agape as drool spilled out of her lips, moaning breathlessly as the fire in her abdomen grew and grew.
“Ah! I-I’m cumming!” Jungeun said, barely able to form words at this point, powerless to do anything else. Her pussy pulsated uncontrollably around your shaft as you kept the same relentless pace as she creamed all over you, the warm flood of juices spilling onto your crotch as she came hard, toes curling behind you and her thighs visibly shaking.
Jungeun let out a slew of profanities as her orgasm hit her like a train, and you didn’t let up one second and fucked her through every intense second, the loss of her limbs to grab hold of anything drove her insane as her labored breathing filled your eardrums, every moment of pleasure almost causing her to black out.
“H-holy shit,” Jungeun managed to say as her high gradually faded, the aftershocks in her body firing off every so often that she could hardly catch a breath, her thighs flushed and stained with slick, overflowing on her silk sheets underneath your sweaty bodies.
Jungeun’s wonderful orgasm came to a close, and now it was your turn as you grabbed her bound wrists and held them tight, steering yourself towards your much needed bliss as you gave it your all. Her pussy was so deliciously wet after her climax, lubricating your harsh movements inside her thoroughly fucked cunt and sending spikes of pleasure everywhere throughout your body.
You gave her the final pounding she deserved, her pussy stuffed with every inch of hard flesh as you moved furiously inside her, wringing out all the pleasure out of her body that you could take until you felt that familiar and welcome tightness in your core that signaled the end.
“Jungeun, I’m about to fucking cum,” you growled, endlessly fucking into her warm hole to coerce your orgasm on a path to pleasure with no brakes.
“Cum wherever, on me or in me, please just cum for me,” Jungeun said, and you took no time to figure out just where you wanted to do that.
Savoring the final moments, you gave a few more hammering thrusts into Jungeun’s body before you withdrew from her warmth, pulling her up and helping her off to the side of the bed as she took position on her knees, her arms still tied behind her as she anxiously awaited the finale.
You had Jungeun just where you wanted her as she had the biggest grin on her features as you stroked your cock from base to tip, and she knew just where your load was going and licked her lips.
“Are you going to paint my face?” she asked, already knowing the answer as you stroked furiously in response, planning on using her as your canvas.
“Give me your cum, please cum on my face, please. Cover me in your thick load, please please please, cum all over my face, I need it so fucking bad,” Jungeun desperately begged, her needy words being the one last thing that set you off.
It took less than a few strokes for you to erupt as you unloaded all over Jungeun’s gorgeous face. You let out loud satisfied groans and fired your first thick shot of cum that landed on her forehead, ending up in her disheveled hair.
You emptied your balls all over her cheeks, her full lips, her cute nose and chin as you squeezed out every last drop, not letting anything go to waste as her face was covered in pearly white, the look of satisfaction in her eyes as you were drained.
Jungeun licked what she could, frustrated with her hands still tied up and out of commission as the mess you had just deposited on her stunning face began to drip down slowly, spilling off her chin and onto her chest as you collected yourself and tried to regain your breath.
She had never looked more beautiful.
Jungeun leaned forward as you guided your cock one more time into her mouth as she cleaned you off, gently sucking your sensitive tip dry with your load staining her face. You took one more moment to admire your handiwork before untying her wrists.
“You okay?” you asked as she regained the use of her hands, the first thing she did with them was to stroke your softening cock, giving one more wet kiss.
“I’m great now,” she said, heavily breathing as you exchanged tired smiles.
“You really covered me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a huge load,” Jungeun giggled as you sat on the edge of the bed, nearly collapsing on it.
“I only have you to blame for that,” you said.
“I’ll go get cleaned up. You can join me if you want, or you can rest here. Either way you better be ready for another round,” she said, slow to stand upright as she turned into her now ever familiar pose, her hands on her hips with a stern look in her eyes.
“You’re insatiable, Jungeun,” you said, still struggling to find your breath again.
“N-no, I’m not. It’s not like I enjoyed your cock inside me,” she scoffed, spinning on her heels as she disappeared into her bathroom.
You still felt the tingles of your intense climax as you looked around the room, sinking into the sheets and wondered what else she Jungeun wanted, or rather what she wanted you to do to her.
You’d just have to be patient and find out.
401 notes · View notes
mirrorforevers · 4 years ago
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here, there, and everywhere • graham coxon/reader
this fic is based on two prompts y'all sent me:
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and
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this fic really tested all of my blur knowledge holy Fuck. blur as talking heads au i guess. how cool would it be if they
1. had a girl bassist instead of the cheese tory dude
2. werent as unhappy as they were in the mid 90s (just a bit)
3. were just a little 🤏🏻 bit more female friendly lets just pretend this is a universe where the blurjob passes didnt exist heh
it took me everything i had to make this sound as realistic as it could be. u know these girls who think they could fix patrick bateman or don draper? perhaps y’all could fix blur
consider this a gift n not only me writing for your prompt, @nottuned! thank u so much for all your support n encouragement n for always bein so sweet 🥺 i hope u enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!
let’s see how many references to unfortunate britpop moments y’all can find in this
also i hope i captured the silliness of the gossip and drama in that era well. if you enjoyed it, please leave an ask telling me more! ur feedback is rly important to me 😔✊🏻
tw (?) reader has shitty parents
word count: 7.938 (this one's quite long!)
smut. set in the 90s. au.
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You were unlocking your door when you heard your house phone ring. The shrill sound echoed through the empty corridors as you hurriedly unwrapped your scarf, tossing your keys and backpack on nearby furniture as you ran to answer the call.
“Hello?” You answer, panting.
“Y/N?”
“Dave?” You smile, that call was a very welcome surprise. Your friend owed you an answer.
-
A few weeks ago, Dave Rowntree, your music classmate who became a close friend, told you that he had teamed up with two other proficient musicians to form a band. Dave was ecstatic, and every day he had new stories about his new friends to tell you between breakfasts and lunches that you shared between the countless hours of rehearsals. Even though you weren't part of the group, you already felt that you knew Damon and Graham like the back of your hand. Yin and Yang. One was expansive, ambitious, vain, impulsive. The other, shy, introspective, anxious and careful.
Damon Albarn wanted to be an actor, Graham Coxon had a firm foot in the visual arts. One was a fan of grand classical compositions, the other was a Beatles fan. They had been friends since they were children, in a seemingly unbreakable bond. Damon dropped out of his theater class not only because out of a sudden he had found a bigger calling in music instead of acting, but also because he couldn't stand being away from his best friend for so long. You found yourself often imagining their faces and voices while trying to make all of the wild and endearingly funny stories Dave told you more tangible in your head.
It was not long before Dave started dropping little hints that they needed someone else for their project. “It’s not that Graham isn’t good at bass,” he’d say, “but we could do better.” It wasn't at the top of your plans to be part of a band right now, especially as you were preparing intensely to join the Royal Academy of Music, and he knew it. When you mentioned the conversations you had with Dave about the boys on your family dinner, in quiet wonder and timid want of being part of something really exciting, your parents wrinkled their noses. Focus on the greater things, they’d say. Don’t let these boys distract you from your goal.
Our goal, they meant to say. Since you were born, you never knew if the things you wanted were really your will or theirs.
But anyway.
That dynamic went on for a while, until the day Dave invited you to audition for them while you shared a Diet Coke in the tube home.
“Will it take too much of my time?” You asked, coyly.
“Bold of you to assume we’ll let you in that quickly.” He chuckles, amused by your confidence. You playfully elbow him in return. He knew how good you were at what you did, though, and there’s lightness in his tone when he continues, “But no, unless you let it. You’ll probably have to stand up to Damon every once in a while.” He sips the drink, handing it over to you.
“What about Graham? How much is he determined to make it big?”
“Damon’s the one who wants it the most. Graham’s studying Fine Arts at Goldsmiths, so. There’s still cautiousness in him.”
“Huh. Okay then.” You reply, thoughts running wild. “Do we have a time and date?”
“Is tomorrow ok to you?”
“Sure. After our class?”
“Perfect.” The train reaches his station. He ruffles your hair: “See you tomorrow then.”
“See you.”
You don’t tell anything about it to your parents, you just warn them that you’ll arrive a bit later than usual. Dave’s intel was crucial to your choice of songs: knowing Graham was the beatlemaniac and also the rational brake to Damon’s tireless ambition, you knew who to please and have as an ally, so you build an innovative and fresh mashup of Paul McCartney’s greatest basslines to play for them. Of course it could backfire, but you didn’t care. You had a hell of a good ear anyway and if Damon wanted you to play anything out of the blue, you would improvise beautifully over it.
The day comes. You didn’t know why you were that nervous for an amateur audition. You weren’t even sure if it was the right path to follow, given that, depending on how focused Damon really was and how contagious his aspiration was, being part of a band could really take you out of your predestinated course. The reason why you were so nervous, now thinking a little more about it, may be because deep inside, you want your path to be a little less predictable. You didn’t want to fill your heart with hopes that you might make it big and travel all over the world because you didn’t even know them. But… what if it clicks? You knew some people in the scene whose work was getting seriously recognized out there.
Meeting them for the first time was an enigmatic experience. Damon was incredibly brash and cocky - not the first theater kid you’ve met in your life. Graham was way more approachable, though also a bit conceited when pushed just right. You wondered if you’d fit in that boys’ club, and decided you wouldn’t be an easy target for discredit or any kind of shit they might give you. “Took me a while to fully get their trust. You’ll do just fine”, Dave said, out of their earshot.
That gave you more fuel to play amazingly well. Damon definitely wasn’t one to be impressed quickly, but he was, when you finished your set. So was Graham - Graham was starry eyed with your performance, actually. Albarn showed you a song and asked you if you could improvise to it, just as you imagined. Of course you could, on the first play. You even suggested some adjustments to its structure. Your feedback was welcomed and noted.
-
Even though everything went surprisingly well, you still weren't sure if you would be a member of “Seymour”, as they called themselves. (You knew it wasn’t the best name, but you didn’t have a better suggestion at the time so you’ve kept your opinion to yourself.) Graham became eerily quiet out of a sudden and wouldn’t cross eyes with you the entire time you were there. Damon, well, was Damon. Perhaps he thought you were too ordinary and mainstream for deciding to play Beatles when he’s trying to be the new avant-garde Jesus.
But Dave's news was different than you expected. “They really, really enjoyed your audition. As I thought they would.” You can hear the smile in his voice. "When can you rehearse with us?"
-
Months after, on your first gig as a fully formed and integrated band, Damon was hit in the face by a guy twice his size, Graham vomited onstage and you and Dave had to take care of both. A beautiful way to close the already exquisite day you had, after you fought with your parents, got kicked out of your childhood home and gave up on entering the Royal Academy of Music two days after you received your acceptance letter featuring rave reviews of your entrance exam.
Dealing with these boys - no, grown-ass men - was hard, but not completely unpleasant. If it were totally unpleasant, you wouldn’t give up on your entire life to embark on such an adventure.
You - plural you - were so gifted and Damon’s compositions were so good. You could see that artsy pretentious mess of an act going somewhere. Of course, you were a bit lost in your life, but so were they, as you ran from city to city meeting new people and trying new things in your journey to fame.
Loneliness, once a close friend, became a distant acquaintance. One you didn’t know anymore.
You confess you were getting worried, though, with how much money you had left on your savings and how much you were spending lately now that your parents weren’t an active part of your life. Wanting to eat something you cannot dream of buying without that money being really useful in a much more critical situation, not having nearly enough money to replace something important that broke or got torn off was frustrating. Some basic things became luxuries out of a sudden.
One day in particular, you very briefly mentioned that you were dying to eat a slice of chocolate cake, but your voice was so small and everyone was so immersed in their duties you thought no one gave two shits to what you said. Two days later, Graham arrived late at rehearsal with a small chocolate cake in his hands, handing it over to you like it was a completely ordinary act. Nothing in the way he acted told you he expected a reward, it was so natural and… gentle. You knew no one in your band could buy a chocolate cake without it being apocalyptic to their personal finances during that time.
That day, you were assured by fate that feeling lost together was better than feeling guided alone.
-
The band finally got on track - strictly musically speaking. Personally speaking, many contemporaries who followed you at parties and other events described you as an ever-growing odd, annoying and intermittently disarming bunch - and Blur and its members became household names, at least in the UK. It became harder and harder everyday to impose yourself as an entire industry and its target public aimed to tear you down. Men couldn’t understand.
(Graham Coxon was the one who tried the hardest to.)
It was four in the morning. You’ve got used to following your bandmates to hospitals, running away from trouble or knowing when to relish in it. But it was the first time you offered yourself to clean up dried blood from one’s face, given how much you hated seeing the fluid and even fainted when younger whenever exposed to it.
You, so delicately, wipe the saline solution-soaked cotton across Graham’s face, who flinches at the cold sensation on his still sensitive skin. He stares at you with the eyes of a child, and you couldn’t help but give him a slight, warm smile in return, which he retributes. Your face conveyed gratitude and affection towards the one you were taking care of. Your hands still struggled to stay completely still after the surge of adrenaline your body received a few hours ago.
Being the only girl in a massive band, and one the music magazines and mainstream media loved sexualizing, meant having paparazzis in your window in odd hours (not that that’s acceptable in any hour, but you had to lower your standards even more these days), meant having different photographers trying to pressure you to get into all kinds of uncomfortable angles with skimpy-ass dresses and just count on the intervention of your fellow bandmates so they would stop, also having invasive male fans who would try to harass you in any way they could.
Of course the day where one of your bandmates would get into a fist fight with one of these men inserted into these categories would come. And even though they were all protective of you, each in their own peculiar, increasingly contradictory way, Graham’s dedication to it was sometimes commendable.
You were making your way through a small corridor of people on your way to the stage when a random guy cupped one of your breasts. It’s not like the venue was incredibly tight, it could not have been on accident and it made your blood boil. You turned around to scream at him, and Graham, who was just behind you, threw a punch directly towards the man’s face, without thinking twice.
And oh boy, took a lot of people and a sweet amount of time to separate the two after that.
After all was said and done, Graham had a few scratches, a black eye and a cut brow. He kept dodging your many “sorrys”, “you didn’t have to do this” and other expressions of guilt. “You have nothing to be sorry about, he deserved it”, he kept assuring you, like a mantra, just giving in to your pleas when you supplicated to take care of his wounds during intermission and after the show.
“I get why you did what you did, Gra. I hate that you took such a risk because of me, but I understand.” you say, voice cracking from not using it for a while after spending some good minutes in complete silence taking care of him. “However,” you soak another cotton ball in the saline solution a roadie got you, punctuating the word with a squeeze to the cotton to remove excess liquid. “I was worried sick about you. What if he… had a knife or something? You could’ve got seriously injured. Or killed.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly able to have a good fight,” after wincing from the contact of the cold wet cotton with his dried blood, he purses his lips in a forced, shy smile, trying to light up the mood. He notices your hands are still shaking from the adrenaline, and takes one of them in his bigger ones, trying to calm you down. The fact that he did this for you, coupled with the fear and how tired you felt of having to go through that kind of situation once again, made you cry-laugh from how overwhelmed you felt.
His expression changes to one of pure compassion in an instant. “Hey, don’t--oh my,” he gets up from his chair to embrace you as you pour your frustrations through fat tears running down his shoulder.
“It’s so exhausting,” you mumble, through sobs. “Now I’m putting you in danger too. I feel like I did and I’m still doing everything wrong. I should be the one giving you a shoulder to cry on.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong! Anything at all, I promise you,” he says, tenderly, running his hands through your hair, still holding you tight. “It was his fault! I decided it was the right thing to do. You’re worth the risk. What people have been putting you through is unacceptable.”
“I’m not worth the risk!” You break apart from his arms, trying to get your point across. “What would I do without you if someone killed you? You need to be more careful!”
The silence hangs heavy between you two thanks to the weight of your words.
“You should’ve asked me before you lunged at him, at least. I don’t know.” You wipe your many tears as you move towards the nearest bottle of water to try to calm yourself down. “It’ll never end. I’m so afraid that these situations will get even worse. That,” you motion at his wounds and dirty clothes, “is a bloody tragedy. It’s a tragedy things escalated to this point. You can’t do that forever.”
“This is just a consequence. And something I would do for you in a heartbeat whenever necessary.”
“Graham, I don’t want you to get hurt because--”
“They hurt you. I won’t let you go through that alone. Besides,” he comes closer to you again. “As I already told you, I can take care of myself, most of the time.” He takes your face in his hands, his fingers so delicately running across your cheeks to dry your tears. You knew that gesture wasn’t his way of asking you for anything you weren’t ready to give him yet. He just wanted you to feel safe. “And I want to take care of you.”
“I’m the one cleaning your wounds.”
“A great partnership, I think.” Coxon chuckles softly, and finally gets a smile out of you. As he always does. “And they make me look cool, don’t you think?”
“Shut up.” You giggle, still feeling too emotional to return to the stage. You sigh: “Thank you for being there for me. You know I’m still not very used to it. Just please be safe.”
The roadie returns, a little flustered by interrupting your little moment together. “5 minutes and you’re back, guys.”
“Okay!” You both turn to answer her.
“I’ll be. No need to thank me for anything, Y/N.” He answers, giving your forehead a little kiss. “Let’s go.”
“Give me two minutes. I’ll be right behind you.”
-
“What’s it like, being the only woman in the band?”
Four eyerolls at once don’t seem to faze the interviewer. She waits for your response.
Apparently the thousand invasive questions regarding Damon’s love life and the same bullshit treatment of women as either rare specimen or sex dolls is what pleases the audience of music TV shows these days.
“What do you think?” is what you say.
“Must be a thrill to have these beautiful boys around you all the time. And we’ve heard you never even took advantage of it!”
You don’t like where this is heading. “Is that… a bad thing? I don’t know what you mean.”
“Perhaps some of our lady viewers might think it is. No judgement though!” She raises her hands. “You do you, it’s just that it’s quite unexpected to see prudes in non-Christian bands. I mean… from what we’ve heard.”
“I’m sorry? What are you trying to say? What did you hear?”
Her tongue clicks while she stares at you with defiance and mischief on her eyes, as she goes a little further and raises her voice so it can overlay yours. “Oh love. You do know what I’m talking about. There’s no need to be ashamed of being a virgin.”
Your cheek burns intensely and the only thing you wished for was for the ground to swallow you whole. Dave and Graham are especially uncomfortable. Damon’s a bit amused. The three knew almost everything there was to know about you. The one topic that surprisingly they didn’t know about is that you’re still a virgin.
They know you’ve been single for a long time. They know that’s part of what draws so much attention and twisted lore regarding you and your past, but that’s not something they felt they needed to know about you at all, and you truly never felt the need to comment about that with any of them, and they haven’t asked. Not even Mr. “the way to be successful in this game is to make all the boys wanna be you and all the girls wanna sleep with you. In your case that’d work in reverse” Damon Albarn.
“Is that even something that should be discussed in an interview about our music? Is that what your boss told you to ask her about?” Dave answers, his tone venomous.
“Musicians are way more than just music. You’re entertainment in every sense of the word.”
“Who told you that about me?” You asked, not sure if you want to know the answer.
“A lovely elderly lady who lives in Elgin Crescent. She knows you so well.”
That’s your mum. That’s how far low your relationship has degraded. You’re not surprised. That doesn’t feel less like a punch on your gut, but you don’t feel like tumbling again. Not today.
“I know who you’re talking about. Tell her I asked her to go fuck herself and burn in hell. In that order.”
“But that’s your--”
“Yes, she is my mum!” If people are going to expose you anyway, then why don’t you do it on your terms? “We’re truly entertainment in every sense of the word, aren’t we. Not everyone’s mum’s a cunt. Some of us aren’t that lucky.”
“You want to be the next Gallagher sister with the spicy remarks?”
“Not sure. But I do want to be the last person you ever get to interview.”
-
The management of the band wasn’t at all surprised your interview became UK’s topic of the week. People were heavily divided between family is family and we shouldn’t hate our relatives and blood isn’t everything, family can be shitty too. Your bandmates were proud of you. The management was angry but tried to understand, and didn’t press you for further explanations. They suggested a two-week break from everything so Blur could rest their image and start a fresh cycle after that, and you gracefully accepted it.
The whole thing seemed so ridiculous the more you thought about it. Did your mum tell the reporter about that gratuitously? What was their conversation like? How did that even happen?
You became the butt of jokes in some places. You saw other famous people doing challenges between them, countdowns, all sorts of crude remarks. What a pathetic, sad chapter of your career.
You dial Graham, and you feel like your heart was about to burst out of your chest.
“Hey, Gra. It’s me.”
“Hey, Y/N.” He sounds pleasantly surprised. “How's it going?”
“Better, I guess. I have to take my mind off all that chaos though. Are you available right now?”
“Yeah.”
“You’ve been owing me a movie night for quite a while now and I miss spending time with you. Wanna come over?”
“Aww. Sure, I--um. Do you want me to bring anything?”
“I’m pretty sure I got everything we need here--ah… I think I don’t have any more beers.”
“I’ll buy some then. See ya in a few minutes.”
Actually, you couldn’t take all that chaos off your mind because that was the only thing in it. You’re feeling so nervous.
The main reasons sex wasn’t a priority for you until now were:
You didn’t have any real opportunities of losing your virginity in your teens. You were impossibly introspective until, like, 3, 4 years ago, and the way your family worked hasn’t really allowed you to get really close to people. Be it boyfriends, girlfriends or just friends. Anything that threatened to take time off the various tasks and classes your parents assigned to you just couldn’t be part of your life. To be honest, you still struggled a bit to form meaningful connections with people thanks to how you grew up.
The moment you stopped being shy, you noticed it was a real man’s world out there, especially in music, classical or not. You didn’t want anyone to think you fucked your way up to the top, you didn’t want any messy affairs. Also, you had yourself, and you didn’t get all of the hype regarding the concept of screwing someone. But apparently there’s a lot you’ve been missing, given the importance people seem to give to it. After that incident, even though you swore to yourself you wouldn’t give in to any kind of misogynistic pressure, that was one that really got under your skin.
You never really found someone who you felt 100% safe with in that sense until the one who’s about to arrive at your house appeared in your life. Bloody hell, and you don’t even have anything romantic going on. By the time you were a Blur member, you’ve fooled around a bit, but not all the way. You knew how to kiss, knew how to touch yourself and even brought manual satisfaction to some random fool you thought you were into one time. But perhaps this is the time to go all the way. Why not? Everyone knew how close you two were. He made you feel special. He was so kind. And gorgeous. And--
You hear a knock on your door. It’s him. Beers in hand, hair somewhat in place, twitchy as ever.
He comes inside and you feel like your legs will give up anytime. It was not the first time he visited you. It was one of many, actually, and he noticed you were acting… different.
“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks after a brief dialogue between you two, after plating some snacks for both of you.
“Graham...” You sigh, being really careful with your words. “What is your perception of me?”
“My perception of you?” He smiles. “I… think you’re great. You’re fun to be around. You’re one of the best musicians I know, if not the best. Why are you asking me that?”
“N-nothing. It’s nothing. Also, I asked the wrong question. What was your first perception of me?”
“Uh… the day of your audition?”
“Exactly. You barely talked to me that day.”
His eyes lower to his own feet. “I was really timid, actually. I wasn’t used to being near any girl, especially one who… w-would spend so much time around me if everything went well.”
You giggle. “I thought you hated me.”
“Never!” his smile turns into a full blown laughter. You melt at his confession. “Also because it seemed like you were trying to read my mind or something.”
“Of course! Because I thought you hated me!” Now that was a laughter you two shared. You do a voice: “‘Why is that pesky girl trying to get in my band?’”
“My goodness, no! I don’t even sound like that - you know what, I changed my mind. You suck. Because, besides the fact you don’t even know what I sound like, you still haven’t told me why you are asking me that in the first place.”
You couldn’t help but notice how he slightly cornered you physically in one of the kitchen corridors. Graham could be really persuasive when he wanted to.
“Okay. Right. Um. I’ve been thinking about some stuff.”
“What, exactly?”
“Everything that happened this month. The great virginity debacle,” you roll your eyes, and he scoffs.
“You don’t own anyone any information about what you do or don't do with your life. Everyone’s being so invasive. That was incredibly childish of the reporter to do, and we talked about that hundreds of times.”
“Yeah, but… you know what, forget it.”
“Tell me, Y/N. I just said that because I want you to know you were not in the wrong.”
“I know. It’s just… I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s silly for me to… keep closing myself for affection. Any kind of affection.”
“What are you talking about?” His brows furrowed in curiosity.
“I’m not sure if it’s the pressure that finally got under my skin, but… I’m willing to learn what all the fuss is about. Maybe it’s silly that I’m still a virgin.”
He bites his lips, still processing what you just said, expression unreadable. Perhaps you’ve treaded a ground you shouldn’t. You step back both literally and figuratively. “I’m sorry I even brought that up--”
“No, no, don’t be.” He assures you. “I’m just… surprised, that’s all. I swear.”
“And...” You know what. You already went too far, so why not go all the way. You’ve already gone way past the point of no return. “I was wondering if… you would… popmycherry?”
His eyes widen, yours still closed. When you finally open them, he’s closer to you again.
If his head was a machine, you’re sure it would be releasing lots of steam and shaking due to overprocessing. You felt like you just ruined everything.
“Y/N, you don’t need to do it if you don’t really want to.”
“But I want it! At first I thought I didn’t, but then I thought...”
“I don’t want to be part of that if you’re just doing it to fulfill weird expectations.”
“But it’s not that. Not just... that. I asked about your perception of me because I really like you, Gra. I think we should be more than friends and I wanted to know what you think about me. And I want to know what the fuss is about, yes, but I’m not telling you that just so I can lose my virginity to prove some point. I’m telling you that because I like you, I want to kiss you, and I think it would be a great idea if you showed me what it’s like. Y-you know, sex.”
“I-I can’t believe it. Did you even have any movie in mind?” His smile’s back, but you’re still not confident about what his answer will be.
“I didn’t. I’m sorry. You don’t have to--”
He sighs. “I was in love with you the moment I first saw you, actually.” He says it like he’s releasing a huge load out of his back, his arms crossed. Now your eyes widen, and you hold your breath without even noticing. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I know how you feel, or, felt about relationships, so… there wasn’t any reason for me to tell you that. And what I said about being timid was just half of the truth.”
“Huh?”
“I also was really intimidated by how pretty you looked. You can’t imagine how.”
“No way.”
“It’s true. I felt like I wasn’t even worthy of looking at you, really.”
“You’re joking. That’s mean, Gra.”
“I’m not. I’m really not.” He doesn’t look like he is joking. He looks relieved. “I’m really not. That’s why I’m so surprised by your request.”
“I’m nothing special.”
“You are everything to me. But I can’t accept your offer, not now.”
“Are you… seeing someone? Am I too late?”
“No. Definitely not. I just want you to be sure you’re not doing it because people are saying you should.”
“Graham, I’m a grown woman.”
“I know.”
Graham carefully presses his slightly chapped lips to yours, kissing you for a few precious, heart stopping seconds before pulling away; his voice is impossibly silky when he suggests, “Let’s watch a movie. How about The Godfather? I heard it’s airing tonight. Then, if in two weeks you don’t change your mind, tell me and I’ll be glad to help you with what you want. Do we have a deal?”
“That’s so unfair. I want you so bad.” You whisper.
“Tell me if you still do in two weeks.”
You sigh, defeated. “...Deal.”
-
You definitely notice the subtle shift in Graham’s personality and actions after that fateful night. If you were already close, both figuratively and literally, it now seemed like he would use any excuse to always touch you, be near you, sometimes tease you. The shift was subtle, though, don’t forget it’s still Graham Coxon we’re talking about - the constant “is it okay if”s or “is it alright if I”s were still there, as careful as ever. You don’t even talk about your deal that entire time, or even kiss again - sometimes you wondered if it was even real or just a fabrication of your mind.
The way he now caressed your hand discreetly when you listened to Damon’s ramblings, the way his hands now went directly to your waist when your games became too handsy, the way he seemed to be madly in love with everything you were and still are from the start - made you realize you were ready for this man to be a consistent part of your life.
The dust of the controversy was settled, and your own intentions were 100% clear to you now. The societal pressure has waned. The need for Graham to be your first persisted. After exactly 2 weeks have passed, you call him again, yearning to share the answer with him.
One beep.
Two beeps.
Three beeps.
Four beeps. “Hello?”
You release a sigh hidden deep inside of your lungs. “Graham, it’s Y/N.”
“Oh. It’s been two weeks.” You could hear the contemplative tone of his voice.
“...Yeah. That’s precisely the reason I’m calling you.”
“Do you still want to…?”
“...Desperately.”
“Ok.” He chuckles, flustered as hell on the other side of the phone, probably one of the prettiest sounds you’ve ever heard. “Right. Ok. Your place or mine?”
“I think there’ll be an element of mystery if I go to your place this time.” You lose some of the constraints this silly shyness has been tying you on. “Do you have everything we might need there?”
“We don’t need a dungeon, you know.”
“The basics.” You make your smile heard.
“I do have… I do have the basics.”
“See you in a few minutes then.”
“Will you want to… ease into it? Or just go straight to it?”
“God, don’t make it awkward!” Your cheeks burn, your smile turning into contagious laughter. “Maybe… I don’t know. Ease into it, I guess? A movie night… but with s-something else?”
“Okay. Sounds good.”
“Alright then. See you.”
“See you.”
-
You don’t choose any particularly fancy or sexy clothes, instead settling for a slightly oversized yellow striped shirt he gave you as a birthday present some months ago and some skirt that fit you well. He wasn’t one to lavish his loved ones with gifts all the time, but few things were as precious as the look on his face whenever he saw you wearing something he gave you or, hell, even eating something he paid for you. You’re thrilled to see it again when he opens the door for you, it easing some of your deepest doubts.
2001: A Space Odyssey is already playing on the TV when you arrive. Despite it being one of your favorite movies of all time, and his, you’re not mad it was already halfway through when you arrived. It wasn’t your main priority to rewatch it for the 17th time tonight.
He offers you some wine, which you accept to ease the nerves. You sit on his couch, and he shares the cozy space with you, now mindlessly throwing one of his arms around your shoulders. You cuddle up to him, and everything seems peaceful in the world for a while.
The tip of his fingers softly caress your lifted knee, absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but notice how well his body fits with yours, how your skin was apparently made for him to touch, and the anxiety rumbles in your stomach like a storm in a wild wavy sea. After some minutes, you raise your head, his big brown eyes meeting yours as if asking you a silent question. You leaned up a bit more to press your lips to his, in a silent answer. The sweetness in him makes this moment as precious as every other moment you ever shared with him. His hands enter your hair, making you shiver a bit from the unfamiliarity and the electricity of it all - but it doesn’t sway you from deepening the kiss, wanting more of his taste, more of this, more of him.
“Do you wanna take this to the bed?” He whispers, after noticing your moans were becoming more frequent and needy. You nod, and you are taken by surprise when he carries you bridal style to it, hiding your excited giggles in his broad shoulders.
Graham wasn’t exactly the most organized man in the world - so the fact that his bedroom was now impossibly tidy was something that positively caught your attention. He put some planning into this. He lays you down and you part your legs, beckoning him to meet you between them. He does, and you go back to the breathtaking makeout session. You notice he’s holding himself back a bit, taking his time, his warm tongue moving smoothly, not hurriedly, against yours. His self control falters a bit though, given how he can’t stop grinding against you. You follow the rhythm of his hips a bit timidly and not nearly as in sync as you’d really like, though the pressure his covered cock is creating against your core can already be felt and some particular thrusts are able to fill at least partially the aching, wet need growing within you.
“How do you feel about oral?” He asks, breath warm near your ear, his voice raspy and spent by his desire for you.
“Um… It would be my first time receiving or doing it.”
“Would you like me to go down on you?”
“Wow. I never thought I would hear you saying something like that.” You smile, still assimilating the situation you’re in, trying not to show how badly his voice is affecting you. “Sure.”
“I never thought I would get to propose this to you. Aren’t we full of surprises lately.” He smiles back, warmly. He notices your hands trembling a bit from how anxious you are while you’re taking off your underwear with his help, and as he lowers himself to where you need him most, he takes your hands in his as an act of reassurance. “Tell me what you like. Tell me if what I’m doing works for you. I want this to be a great experience.”
“You want me to get addicted to you, that’s what you want,” He chuckles, lovingly kissing your thigh as a reply. “Okay, Gra. Guess I’ll find out along the way.”
You quickly take a peak below you to see the lower half of his face disappear in the middle of your thighs. The sight alone sets your fire ablaze, as he hooks his arms around your thighs and lifts you closer to his mouth, his lips ghosting over the curls between your legs tantalizingly and his breath catching when your hips jerk forward.
As he begins his ministrations, you immediately notice it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt. That feeling was completely alien to you. It was even wetter than you expected, and weird, but powerfully pleasant. Before this exact moment, you had a firm belief that hardly anyone else would make you feel the same way, or better, than you do yourself, but apparently you were very wrong. Thankfully you were wrong. “My god,” you gasp as the flat of his tongue drags over your folds, too much and not enough, and you jerk at the contact. “This is great. So weird, but-- great.”
He moans at your response, his movements carefully enthusiastic. He works his tongue between your folds and traces up to curl the tip of it around your clit, and it’s quite endearing and madly arousing to see how he eats out you like you’re the sweetest and tastier dessert he has ever tasted. You involuntarily buck against him with a desperate sound the moment he moves his tongue and lips in a particularly wicked way, something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by him, but you still feel the need to highlight in case it didn’t - “That. Keep doing that, please,”
And he does. The building of this climax is also different than the ones you already had by your own hands, and is more coy. As he sees the drops of sweat sliding along your soft skin and the expressions on your face as you get lost in this new but enchanting sensations, his hesitation and self-control fades away; there’s nothing uncertain in the way he buries his face in your cunt now, nothing restrained in the groan he lets out as he devours you and drinks you down as if you’re the first stream of water he has seen in days.
His tongue glides deeper in your folds again and again, swirling up through the wetness you’re coated with to tease at your clit while he grunts and strains closer, squeezing your thighs with both hands tight. The wave of heat inside of you is cresting so fast, you don't even know how to tell him, how to signal that you’re nearly done for and, in the end, it happens too fast to even try. He sucks at your clit, circling it with his tongue, once, twice, and then you’re crying out, shaking underneath him, trying to keep your thighs from clenching too hard around his head as he laps you through it with with urgent whimpers and moans, as if he cannot have enough of you.
You’re still trembling when he rises, the look on his face revealing to you how proud he feels by making you feel this way. It looks so good on him.
You fail miserably at the simple task of connecting words together after that, choosing instead to collect your remaining strength, prop yourself up and beckon him again to keep kissing him and learn, through his talented tongue, how you taste. He kisses the thin fabric of the shirt at your chest that covers you from view, your throat, your jaw, and before he reaches your impatient lips, he notes, sinfully, “Seems like you enjoyed yourself, love.”
“That was… unbelievable. Stars, I want to make you feel good too. Please show me how.”
“Keep kissing me,” he begs, voice still strained from how aroused he is. “I want to be inside you so bad. Let’s get you prepared.” You’re still so sensitive, you tread on overstimulation when his fingers lightly touch your clit, making you break the kiss in a hiss. He traces a line on your folds, inspecting the impact his mouth had on you. “So wet for me.”
“Bit slower, Gra,” He complies to your breathy plea, his fingers now more tame as he slowly spreads your wetness throughout your pussy. He stretches towards the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube, interrupting his contact to spread some on his fingers before unhurriedly slipping his middle finger inside of you. The coldness of the gel makes you shiver in surprise, the easiness brought by it very welcomed. Again - the sensation is odd. Completely unfamiliar. The feeling of having something inside of you for the first time, going further than you ever dared to try, probing, exploring; the coldness of the lube clashing against your burning hot cunt. But it also felt nice. The focused look on his face was adorable, he looked like he was a scientist in the middle of very complex research.
Despite the panting, the messy hair and the fire in his eyes.
Your body already has a lot of new sensations to process simultaneously, so when he asks you to take off your bra and shirt so his tongue can work on your nipples - which you gladly accept, you feel like you’re on sensual overload. His tongue, again, so talented, takes your mind off the slight burning you feel when he introduces his ring finger to your soaked, throbbing core, his focused, carefully overpowering and constant stimulation driving you insane.
“Does it feel good?” He asks, voice muffled by your breast. You nod, carried by the wave of pleasure sweeping you.
“Yes. God, yes.” You pant, tangling your fingers tightly on his thick hair as an encouragement, a desperate sound escaping from your lips the moment he reaches a certain point within you you didn’t even know existed, hot mouth continuing to lick and suck your nipple. Even though you were spent by your last orgasm, he was indeed getting you addicted to those new feelings, and even though this was heavenly, truly heavenly, you needed more. “Gra, I’m ready, I think.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Please.”
Releasing your nipple from his lips with a sounding pop, he eagerly frees himself from his trousers - hard as a brick - and puts protection and lubrication on, swiftly positioning himself between your thighs while stroking himself to the sight in front of him. You motion to take off your skirt, and he holds your hand, not letting you. “Don’t. It’ll be really hot to fuck you in this.” He confesses, giving your forehead a kiss in a very different context than before. He aligns his forehead with yours, each of your lips just barely touching while you breathe each other’s air. He looks deep into your eyes, slowly running the tip of his cock between the slick folds of your pussy, coating himself in the remnants of your pleasure. “Do you trust me?”
You trust me to know your limits? Not to go any further if you don’t really want me to?
“Absolutely.”
The only response you get from him is a shuddering, helpless moan into your mouth and you hold him tighter to you, grinding your still sensitive cunt up against his cock while he pulls hard at the soft fur next to your head. You feel your soaking pussy lips part around the solid curve of his length and gradually coat the underside of him in slick with every gentle circle and roll your hips make, as he finally pulls away from your mouth to drop his forehead to your neck. He then, very slowly, penetrates you, stopping when he hears the noises you make indicating you’re struggling to adjust to his presence. Out of everything you’ve felt in the last minutes, this was by far the most painful sensation. “This-- is new,” you note, your face completely incapable of hiding the discomfort. He also notices that.
“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”
“It’s okay. I’ll get used to it.”
“It’s not supposed to be about endurance, you know.” He says, a bit breathless and worried, caressing your hair. “Tell me when it’s okay to move. Or if you feel too much pain.”
After some long seconds and some deep breaths, you say: “Okay. Go on.”
“As you wish.”
He moves inside you at a very slow pace, the lubrication clearly making it easier for you to handle it. It still hurts, significantly, but the sensation of being filled is also surprisingly arousing.
His hand moves to your sensitive clit again in small, measured circles, your little moans being a mixture of the pain of penetration and the sheer ecstasy of seeing him falling apart because of you. The way his chest heaves while the drops of sweat start pearling his fair skin, the furrowed brows and broken groans, the thickness of him as he rests heavy up against your entrance, the way his voice presses deliciously tight in his throat as he gasps out into the quiet room - everything’s making your chest burst in love and satisfaction. You tighten your grip around him and roll your hips up into his cock, letting it break you open nice and slow; it stretches you wide with a deliciously sharp fullness and pleasure rips through you, and Graham becomes even more vocal as he picks up a steady and gradually faster pace. He turned all of your keys, it’s about time you turn some of his.
“Graham, deeper,” you whimper, continuing to tighten your legs and hoist yourself up, lifting your hips to take his cock deeper inside you. His name rips itself from your throat while Coxon clenches his jaw and starts to lose himself in the pleasure, holding you down into the bed while he allows your desperation to guide him to the perfect angle and speed to sate you. He found denying you to be impossible.
He snarls and curses as he holds you down and rails you, determined to make you sing again before he finishes, and to his delight, your heightened sensitivity gives him what he wants. And this time, he couldn't hold on.
Graham kisses you one last time as he groans and gives in, head dropping to your neck again. You didn’t reach a second climax, but stars, what an experience you just had.
When he comes back to himself enough to realise he still had you practically folded in half, he carefully pulls his softening cock free, taking the condom off and taking the strands of hair out of your face as you struggle to catch your breath. You suggest a shared bath, a suggestion he gladly accepts.
Too tired and too sore for pillow talk, comfortable silence falls as your hand finds his, and you lay, listening to each other’s breathing slowly settle.
I could get used to his little snore on my chest, is the last thought that twinkles on your mind before you fall asleep snuggled with him.
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ivyglow · 4 years ago
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I don’t want you like a best friend - Andre Burakovsky
A/n: Sooo, I wrote this as some kind of gift to my best friend because she loves Andre and she was trying to get me on his train (I guess she did?). She’s always hitting me with “no but you should definitely write about Tito/Andre”. Here’s your piece @skarsgardswiftie​ I hope you like it! <3 I love you sm Also, a huge shout out to @sebs-aston​ for proofreading this with such an attentive eye! You’re amazing, liv! 
Requested: yes / no
Word count: 1.9k 
Warnings: brief mention of alcohol 
Summary: you’re friends with Andre, but things are about to change after you create a TikTok account and start doing challenges that may lead to news between you and your favorite hockey player.
When it comes to capturing a moment you’re usually the person your friends think about, not simply because you’re always carrying a camera -mainly because of it-, but because you’re great with what you do -either photos or videos-. That’s also why your Instagram profile has more followers than an ordinary girl would and it’s the only place people can find you -besides e-mail-. However, that changed when your best friend -Callie- convinced you to create a TikTok account. You, of course, hated it, but she had the perfect opportunity -you were a bit tipsy, all your friends around, sunny weekend and so it goes. 
“Mikko, do you think I’m pretty?” You direct the camera to his face while looking expectantly. 
Saturday evening rolled around, the hot weather forcing your friends either to the inside of the pool or under the sunshade and their hands busy with cold drinks. It was a happy day, everyone was around, and you were enjoying the vacation. You had met half of the Hockey team as soon as you moved to Colorado and Erik, your and your brother’s hometown best friend decided you needed to know his crew and the city around. Six months later and you knew pretty much everyone and everything.
“Of course I think you’re pretty” he gives you a confused look before you turn to Tyson giggling.
“Josty, do you think I’m pretty?” you ask and he looks straight at the camera “I would give you 5 out of 10 cause you’re bro.”
You laugh and turn to Andre this time.
“Andre, do you think I’m pretty?” 
He seems taken aback by the question and unlike Tyson, he stares at you. “Of course you’re pretty.”
You keep to your task and last but not least is Nathan, he’s sitting at a table while working on some drinks and you take him by surprise by jumping in front of him. “Mac, do you think I’m pretty?”
He rolls his eyes playfully and turns his attention to you for some seconds before looking at his drink again, “I would one hundred percent date you if you were not my sisters’ best friend” 
And then your time is over. 
“So you’re a tiktoker now?” Erik sits beside you and Nathan just as you uploaded the video. He raises his eyebrows and you roll your eyes lightly, “you know I hate TikTok, but it’s fun, so…”
“She’s gonna end up famous there too”, Andre announces leaning his body on the table and motioning for Nathan to refill his drink. Your eyes roam on his big hands grasping the red cup, his cheeks red from the sun, and the way you could see his dimples when he smiled at you, his hair messy in a cute way. 
“Why do you think that?” now he has three pairs of curious eyes staring at him.
You almost chuckled when his point finger scratched his chin. His skin glowing, “I mean, you’re funny and cute…cute girls get famous on TikTok” he reasoned. 
“Is this your best, Burki?” Erik asks and for the way his lips were tight against each other you knew he wanted to laugh.
“C’mon, let them be,” Nathan said after giving the blond American a new cup, and before you could ask what was the matter Callie was calling you at the door. 
Your best friend started a rant about how she was going to get Chinese take-out for dinner and when you told her she should get Thai too -because it was Andre’s favorite- she started another rant about how you should tell him you’re in love and how it was cute the way you two functioned but also annoying. All you could do was savor your drink and mentally play a Taylor Swift song while she went on, “I mean it, y/n! Just tell him already…”
“Have you seen Andre?!” you whisper-scream to her and Callie sights rolling her eyes, “what about him?” 
Swallowing the last sip of your drink you start to draw doodles on the glass with your fingers, “I’m just y/n, he’s Andre Burakovsky”. You usually were not insecure about your looks, but it was Andre, and the fact that he was a famous and good-looking hockey player made you question how in heavens he would like you back. Hell, you were not even sure how you two ended up in such a close friendship, he always being so affectionate and listening to everything you had to say. Your friendship seemed like the most you could take from the interaction. You knew he was ‘just Andre’ too when all your friends were gathered, but being ‘just Andre’ was as amazing as being Andre Burakovsky the hockey player. 
“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met, y/n, and I don’t mean considering only your looks, but everything. You’re funny, smart, and always so attentive with everyone, you listen to everything and always have nice things to say, don’t you ever doubt your value, you hear me?” Callie’s words make you sit up straight in the stall and your eyes water. 
“In my defense, this is not me crying, this is tipsy me having an emotional moment”, you joke and it’s seconds before the two of you are laughing the way you used to during a John Mulaney show. 
It was night when you unlocked your phone only to find a bunch of notifications from TikTok, some of the comments from fans about how happy the boys seemed, but most were about the way Andre looked at you when you asked the question. According to the most liked comment “this is clearly a friends to lovers, mutual pining, unaware love and slow-burn situation” which made you giggle but also replay the video a dozen times trying to figure out if there was really something there and you were the unaware one. 
Needless to say, you weren’t able to reach a conclusion, but it felt different when you excused yourself to take a shower after spilling wine in your shirt and you felt Andre’s eyes on you all the way to the stairs. His hands on your shoulders felt heavier and the way he was attentive whenever you needed a refill or wanted a bite of food seemed more intimate and caring than ever.
Hitting the shuffle button, you chose your Taylor Swift playlist before entering the shower. The cold water cooled you off a bit, it was almost like washing out part of the alcohol in your system, but your tipsy mind kept finding evidence that Andre liked you back. 
You went through your clothes finding a floral summer dress and sipping on your wine while brushing your hair. Your body was still feeling hot and at this point, you didn’t know if it was from the sun on your face or the alcohol in your system, but when you heard the first notes of “Dress” playing you knew you were going to do something stupid, especially because your cell phone was one arm away. If someone asked you where the idea came from you wouldn’t know what to answer, and usually thinking about how you didn’t have an answer was enough to make you give up on some stupid ideas...not this one though. 
Reaching for your phone you unlocked it and walked to the body-length mirror in the room you were sharing with Callie. It took less than 2 minutes to snap a picture and send it to him and it took him less than 1 minute to answer it.
‘Woah’
‘You liked it?’ you sent back
‘Yeah, you’re looking good, cutie’ he answered just as fast, before sending a red heart emoji.
‘I don’t want you like a friend’
‘and I only bought this dress so you could take it off’
It was the exact line Taylor was singing when you reached the send button. You saw the dots appearing and disappearing and your body sobered up even more than before. 
“Fuck!” you almost voiced. How would he look at you after this? Could you pretend you confused him with someone else? Of course not, he was the only Andre you knew! And everyone knew better you were not the bold flirty type.
That was it, your secret was spilled just like your wine on your shirt earlier, but now you wouldn’t be able to clean off the stain. 
Would he believe it if you told him it was a prank to your new TikTok account?
You were lost in your thoughts before three knocks on your door startled you. And there he was when you pushed the door open. Standing with his hands inside his pockets and his hair still messy, he stared at you. It took maybe five minutes before he spoke, but it felt like an eternity considering his intense eyes studying you.
“You’re looking even better this close” for some reason his voice is low like he didn’t want anyone to hear and pop the bubble of the moment. 
You feel your body getting hotter, pretty sure your face is turning even redder, so you reach your hands to both of your cheeks. That gets a giggle out of Andre and you instantly move them to your back, your eyes now staring at his bare feet. 
All you wanted to do was bury yourself on a rabbit hole until Andre lost his memory, or you lost yours. You were thinking about the possibility of a secret society -Alice in Wonderland style- inside the rabbit hole that you could live in forever when Burki extended his hand, his palm facing you, silently asking you to put your hand in his. So you did. And it was only a blink of an eye before his body was closer, almost touching yours.
“You’re not that drunk, are you?” he questioned. 
You shook your head no and he moved his hand to your waist as a message that maybe -and only maybe- he wanted to be close too. So you moved your right one to his large shoulders. 
“I’m glad you’re not drunk…” 
“I’m just a bit hot and bothered” and dying out of shame! You screamed inside your head. 
“Oh sure you are”, he replied with a small smile playing at the corner of his pink lips. Your brows raised in confusion and before you could ask, he answered, “hot. You’re hot”.
“Does it mean you’re gonna take my dress off?” you have no idea when you got so bold, but Andre seemed amused with everything. 
“No, not tonight. You’re not drunk, but you’re a bit tipsy, I don’t want to start things like this” his fingers are in your cheekbone and you lean into him. “I’m gonna kiss you though, can I?” 
His lips, so different from his hands, were soft and hot. They found yours timidly, exploring the space while his body welcomed yours closer, he took his time before his fingers were in your hair and his tongue caught your lips. 
It felt good.
Like never before. 
For some seconds you wished to be able to capture the moment and save it forever. Repeat it in your head every day. 
Andre played with the strings of your dress, slipping it off your shoulders and you got into your tiptoes to peck his lips one last time. 
“So...I take you really liked the dress?” 
“I actually like you, the dress is a bonus” he shrugs and you giggle before finding yourself wrapped in another kiss. 
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the-huntress · 3 years ago
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Little Moth - Chapter 4 - As The Snow Fell
[Thank you so much to everyone that has read, liked and re-blogged the chapters and master list of my fanfic so far, I really appreciate all the support!]
Masterlist
Y/N Protagonist, female. Reader X Karl Heisenberg. [18+]
Summary: You’ve barely even set foot into the village and have already had a taste of the unusual residents and otherworldly beings. Is there anyone that you can trust?
Trigger Warnings: Threat, theft.
Soundscape Ambience Suggestions:
Medieval Ruins Ambience
Quiet Tavern Ambience
Tumblr media
[Photos are my own]
You woke with a start, the white canvas of the morning sky blinding you as a crow cawed from above. You cast you gaze about bleary eyed, taking in your surroundings. You were back at your camp, but mightily dishevelled, half your clothes on, half off, and various parts exposed to the elements. The last embers of the fire burned, soft wafts of smoke dying down.
What the hell happened last night? You wondered, casting your thoughts back and rubbing your face, feeling almost as if you had a hangover. Fixing your clothes, you turned your attention to your equipment and the camp. Anything that wasn’t necessary to have on you today you bagged back up into your luggage bag and pushed into the hollow of the tree that you had camped against; mostly some clothing, sleeping bag, tarpaulin… you paused as you got to the bow that the Duke had gifted to you, eyeing it up. As much as you felt safer with it, today you would have to try to be inconspicuous, and this weapon was not going to help with that. You stuffed it hastily as far bag into the hollow as you could, hooking it on a knot on the inside of the tree so that it hung safely, completely out of view, and then threw leaves over the bag.
The distance seemed shorter this time going towards the cliff edge that overlooked the village. You took out your binoculars from a pouch on your hip and got down onto your stomach to scout the area. From where you were you could easily see the castle with its spiky turrets in the distance, slightly shrouded by a fine mist at this hour. If it weren’t for the whole situation that you were in and the very obvious unease that this place was already causing you, you’d have maybe even called this gothic monster ‘beautiful’. Leading up to it were many small houses, each made slightly differently to the next, but somehow all similar. Some with thatched roofs, some tile, some metal. You were only at the brink of this village, but you could sense poverty from here, being used to living in a modern world and never feeling like you’d had to struggle too much for food or material needs. Your eyes were drawn to a route that should give you access easily into the village by way of going behind some of the closer buildings, and with a quick sweep, checking that no one was currently about, you decided to go now.
The village had a spattering of snow, less than a foot for sure, and for the most part it had been trodden down and thinned. Coming up to the first house you crouched down behind a small brick wall, which looked as though it had started to tumble over. Again, you couldn’t see anyone here, but you could definitely hear livestock; a pig and maybe some chickens. Peering over the top of the wall towards the house you noticed a washing line, its contents bouncing slowly in the slight breeze. There were yellowed white briefs, a petty coat, bonnets, a dress made out of material that looked itchier than it looked practical, and also a hooded cloak. You pondered for a moment if taking an entire line of clothes to disguise yourself was a good idea or not and then decided against it; you whipped the cloak down, it being very dull and drab in both colour and fabric, with no distinguishing features, and threw the large hood up over your head. It was big enough even to hide your eyes, the swells of fabric wrapping around your arms and body, providing more warmth as well as what you hoped would deter anyone from making too much notice of you. Your boots and trousers were visible, from the knee down, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Nearing the centre, you started to hear the sounds you’d expect to hear in a small village like this. The day was light enough to see everything clearly; a statue of a lady holding a sword and shield. Something about it sent a shiver down your back. It wasn’t that it looked creepy, it just felt… familiar somehow. This looked as though it was perhaps the centre of the village; a woman sat on a bench knitting, a couple of children played with a stick and hoop. That felt weird too. It was the turn of the millennium, and yet here children were playing with really outdated toys. A little way up you could see a hill rising with some gravestones dotted here and there to the left of it. Already you could feel the eyes of the children staring at you and the quiet clacking of the knitting needles had stopped. Keeping your head down, you carried on walking, your feet choosing to take you up the small hill, past the gravestones. You passed a strange wooden shine on your right, not daring to turn your head to look at the details right now, for you’d hoped that they people here might assume that you were one of them thus letting you become invisible. You’d had undercover jobs before that you’d excelled at, but things felt very different here. Every step you took made the feeling of foreboding grow stronger in you. Up ahead was a door depicting two characters, one looked like a woman, the other, you weren’t too sure, but it looked sturdy and as though it might lead to the great castle, so that didn’t seem like you’d be unnoticed if you tried that door. To the right a long alley way, but it looked to lead away from the village, and to the right again the iron gates into the grounds of a small church, with a bubble of people emerging from its doors now. Yes, you had to lay low and try not to turn heads, but you also needed information, maybe if you passed through this crowd as if you were going somewhere you could eavesdrop some clues.
You made your way over and saw a man dressed like a vicar of sorts standing at the church doors while the villagers left, his hands raised in the air and a grin on his face. His eyes were eerily shadowed with darkness, but this didn’t seem to deter his congregation.
“Thank you for coming to today’s assembly to pay our respects to our beloved saviour, Mother Miranda. Volunteers and the Heretic’s Judgement are to be held tomorrow at Mother’s church.”
Just then you accidentally bumped right into someone emerging from the crowd, the impact making you both exhaled audibly, and the villager dropping their item to the ground.
“I’m so sorry, are you ok?” You asked, seeing her face as she looked up to see whom she had bumped into. You mentally kicked yourself for being automatically nicely mannered when you could have just trundled past. Instead, you stopped to pick up what you saw now to be a small bouquet of flowers, seeing her smiling at you as you handed them to her.
“Oh yes, I’m quite alright.” She said warmly. She looked to be in her forties with grey blue eyes, mousy brown hair and bangs. “Are you?”
You were taken aback for a moment; you didn’t expect anyone to ask how you were. In all honesty you’d been better. “No damage done.” You smiled, making sure to pull the cloak over any item of clothing that might give you away for being from further afield than the next village or so. The church doors had closed, and the rest of the crowd had now disbanded into the rest of the village.
“You look to me like you could do with a hot meal and a warm bath. If you beg my pardon for saying so.” She took a step back and extended her hand. “I’m Luiza by the way.”
“Y/N.” You replied, shaking it. Is this a good idea? You asked yourself, but you couldn’t help but trust the woman.
“I was just about to lay these down in the cemetery, if you’d like to join me Y/N.” Luiza offered, indicating to the small bouquet. There was a look in her eyes, like she was trying to tell you something.
“Yes of course.”
The two of you made your way a little past the church and through some more iron gates, this time into a space that was on a slight slope with a couple of crypts and tombs. Checking around her to make sure that no one else was around, Luiza turned her eyes back to you slowly.
“You’re not from here.” She stated. You swallowed.
“No, I’m from the next town over, I’m passing through to –“
“Please. You’re not from here, your accent, your boots… but your eyes, your eyes are what really gave it away. If you’d ever lived near here, you’d never have the damn nerve to even come.” She waved a hand in the air, and yet looked remorsefully subdued. You didn’t quite know what to say.
You looked down to the ground, shame seeping in as if from the snow at your feet.
“I’m searching for a friend.” You said solemnly. “He’s here somewhere, at least, I think. I think that he came here on a lead; whether he’s here to help someone or it’s to do with something that concerns us… I’m not sure. But he’s been gone a while now, and I’d like to get him back home.” Saying it made it all the more real, and you could feel your throat growing tight. The whole time that you’d been speaking Luiza had listened intently, yet her face remained soft. Something twinkled in her pale eyes, a knowing.
“Do you have a picture, of your friend?” She asked.
“Yes.” You unzipped the RPD bag hanging at your side and carefully pulled the photo from the wallet inside. “His name is Leon, Leon Kennedy.” Luiza took the photo into her own hand carefully, studying it and then handed it back.
“You should come over for some dinner tonight Y/N. See that gate over there?” She pointed back towards the church but the opposite side from which you’d entered. “Through that gate, turn left and all the way up the hill. My husband and I are having goulash tonight, if that might tempt you.”
“With dumplings?”
“I can do them if you’d like.” She smiled, turning away to face a small gravestone. “Come after nightfall but be careful on your way.”
“I will.” You started heading back towards the church and then turned to ask, “Who is it? That you’re visiting I mean.”
“My daughter.” She replied.
You left Luiza at her daughter’s grave and felt your stomach rumble. The last 24 hours had been gruelling on your body, you were cramping with no pain relief, nor for your knee, which was already aching, a reminder of the stress you’d put it through the day before fighting that… beast, and then you remembered; the dream… what had happened? That was the same beast as the one you’d slain. But what, you’d resurrected it? You wondered what it meant, and then you started to recall what had happened after. Your cheeks burned red in an instant, spreading over your neck and ears. Confusion ultimately taking over. Well at least I’m warm now, you sneered at yourself, and then felt another rumble. I need food.
Luiza seemed like she could be a good ally to have here, and something told you that she recognised that picture of Leon; even if she was the only person that would help you out you felt happy that you had at least something potentially to go on. You headed back into the centre of the village, with the intention of heading back to your camp for another preserved snack and then it hit you; the smell of eggs and bacon. It was drifting up from somewhere a little way past the statue to the left and you followed it around without a care.
“The Fat Goose” The sign read above the door. It looked to be a small inn of sorts with a few townsfolk coming in and out, and in seemingly good spirits. You made sure that your hood was pulled back up over your eyes and made your way in. It was like many other humble pubs that you’d frequented here and there, mostly when visiting back home in England. A long bar at the back of the room, a door leading somewhere at the back, and the clientele sat hunched over round tables upon stools, leaning close to the fire, or shouting above one another at the bar itself. It wasn’t the busiest, but it seemed to be where the majority of the village had decided to spend their day if they did not have work to be done. You could see a couple of the villagers did indeed have meals here of all sorts; chicken, bread, cheese, and most importantly eggs and bacon. You could feel yourself salivating.
Keeping your head low you approached the barkeep, the Lei ready in your hand, and slid it across the surface towards him. “Eggs, bacon and ale, thank you.” You pushed your coin over to him. You’d been lucky, upon meeting the Duke he’d brought up local currency and exchanged what you’d made the mistake of purchasing at the airport.
The barkeeper was quietly suspicious, evident in the way that he eyed you up, taking a moment to pause cleaning the tankard in his hands to take the money and gave a nod back.
“We’ll bring it over to yer table.” He said, turning back to what he was doing. You chanced a glance around the room and decided to take a seat at a vacant table by the window. It felt like a safe spot; you could see the door and the bar, but you were also tucked into a corner out of the way, the only light cast by the fire on the other side of the room and a couple of candles over head in brackets.
The ale was with you in no time at all. You’d never actually drank ale before and weren’t expecting it to be the tastiest of drinks, but there wasn’t much choice here. The eggs and bacon shortly followed, filling the room with a smell that made you stomach growl again.
The door flew open and you suddenly noticed the difference between the warmth of the inn with the bite of the outside air. The chill swept into the pub with the figures of two men, both tall and brawny, but one much larger than the other. They seemed to be deep in conversation but trying to keep their voices to a murmur that they could only hear between themselves.
They were dressed similarly; the taller man’s clothes had more of a darker and subdued palette. He had a head of grey hair, and a beard to match, a broad forehead, kind eyes and a nose which looked as though it had been broken at least once. The shorter of the two, but by no means lacking in height had a similar long coat but in more earthy tones. His face was hidden by a dark brown leather hat of sorts, well-worn with a mess of dark hair streaked with grey. The other patrons went quiet as the men entered and then began nodding at them, some even tilting a hat, before going back to their business.
Something began stirring in your stomach and you looked down at your food, maybe the eggs were off? You looked up again, unconscious of being unable to stop watching them, or more specifically, the man with the hat. He definitely felt your gaze right at that moment as he slowly turned his face over his right shoulder to look at you from behind dark, circular shades hiding his eyes from view. Time seemed to stop. He was really looking, and you felt as though you were tumbling backwards down through the biggest chasm carved into the stars.
“Oh boy.” You breathed as the man suddenly turned his head back to reply to something that his towering friend had said, who in turn, then noticed you, glancing over his friend’s head. The feeling in your stomach had grown so intense that it felt as though it had now pummelled its way into your chest too. This felt like danger and sickness all wrapped into one. You had half a mind to leave now, but you knew that not only would that rouse more suspicion, you just also didn’t want to.
“Urias, Karl.” The bartender came over to the two men at the bar, “What can I get you?”
Sometime later a beautiful, red haired girl came to take your plate away. Despite being so hungry when you first came into the establishment, once the men had entered, you’d felt so nauseous that you’d barely been able to manage another bite. You tried to channel your thoughts, calm the storm in your stomach and ease your breathing. You were getting there, managing to ground yourself, but every few minutes your eyes were drawn back to that man, was he Urias or was he Karl? Which name suited him most? Urias sounded strong and noble, well he certainly looked strong. He pulled out a cigar and lit it, suddenly emitting raucous laughter from something that his friend said which shocked you out of your trance; and then he fell silent, starring at the other man so intensely that it scared you.
“You’re fucking kidding me?” He asked. The pub fell silent. You were so focused on the scene, as was everyone else that you neglected to notice the way your tankard had started to slowly drift up into the air along with everyone else’s.
“I’m sorry my friend, I am not. I am going to marry her.”
“God fucking damnit Urias!” He bellowed, slamming a fist down on the bar. Everything fell with a bang, ale sloshing over the tables and with that he stormed out of the pub. Urias rubbed a giant hand over his face, the skin gathering in mounds between each finger. The bartender brought over a new tankard, about three times the size of the regular ones and let it thud down in front of Urias.
“On the house, chief.”
Urias took it in his man-paw and without hesitation turned towards you, walking over.
“Are you going to tell me who you are then, fabled traveller. I can tell you come from very far away.” He sounded like how you imagined a talking bear to sound, deep and rumbly. He had a big, square chin, his jaw jutted out slightly, strong teeth, big lips and kind eyes. He poured a little of the ale from his giant vessel into your own, indicating for you to stay put. No one else in the pub seemed to be paying attention, at least not with their eyes, this man must have some hold or power over them.
“My name is Y/N, and I am looking for my friend.” You told him truthfully, face down, but eyes looking up at him. You were scared, for sure, but you wouldn’t let it show. You were here for a reason, you’d come this far, you weren’t going to leave without Leon, and you meant it. You slid the photo across the table to him and he took it tenderly, bringing it closer to his face, all that way up to take a look. He tilted his head to the side.
“Have you spoken to anyone else?” He asked, eyes flitting between you and the photo.
“One other.” You replied, not mentioning who.
“Y/A my name is Urias, as you might have heard my friend eloquently let the world know earlier. I am the chief of this village. My brother and I-“ He paused and looked down at his hands. “My brother and I came from a mountain clan, our blood line has been chief there for generations, but we wanted to see more of the world and make our mark, learn trades and earn our keep. We came to this village when we were both merely men grown, that was a long time ago now.” He had a faraway look in his eyes, turning now to look out of the window, it was already beginning to grow dark and a drift of snow had begun to descend once more. “We climbed the ranks here, doing what we could to help protect the village and its population…” He paused again in thought. “To help, however we could. It’s just me now, but I still want that, I still want to do what’s right for my people”
He took a deep drink from the tankard, which now that you were looking at it closely, looked more like a small barrel with a makeshift handle.
“Y/N I will help you however I can, but please understand this; this is no normal village, there are things at work here even I can’t quite explain. Tensions are very high, and an outsider coming in looking for a missing friend,” He tilted his head and gave a small chuckle, “Well, that’s not going to go down so well with some of the villagers, and especially not with the higher ups.”
“You mean Mother Miranda?” You asked bluntly. He swung his head to look you dead in the eyes.
“How do you know her name?”
“I did my research before I came; I don’t know much about her Urias, but I have a bad feeling about her.” Your cheeks burned from being so forward.
He laughed again, “You’re not the only one.” He muttered, casting you a careful sideways glance, taking you in some more. He looked like he was pondering or considering something. “There are a seldom few here that you can trust, so be careful. You can find me at my house, some of the folk they call it ‘the chief’s hut’, or else I’ll likely be here, at least for now.” His mind seemed to trail off somewhere else.
Noticing that night had indeed now fallen you bid your farewell and shook the giant’s paw and made your way outside into the chill of night, thankful for the stolen cloak wrapped around your frame.
You started around the side of the pub, back towards the route that would take you directly to Luiza’s house when something wrapped around your throat and shoved you against the wall. The breath was choked out of you upon impact and your hood fell, your hair falling down in-front of your eyes as you blinked them open, trying to see what had happened. Pain started spreading in your body; the cuts on your torso, your knee blazed and the cramps starting up again like knives. The thing around your throat was a hand, larger than your own but not huge, nails digging into your flesh.
You tried to say something, a warning a threat, but whoever it was, was closing your throat.
“Don’t pretend I didn’t see you making eyes at me in there darling,” A man’s voice drooled. “We don’t see tourists all too often around here, but I’m sure an outsider like you will be carrying something of value.”
You didn’t recognise the face in front of you at all. A man in his twenties, maybe, fairly non-descript with short mousey brown hair and some stubble. He absolutely reeked of alcohol. Your right hand shot instinctively towards your knife and he twisted your wrist anti-clockwise immediately disarming you, shoving you back against the wall with the force of his body and then reaching for any other weapons. Of course, he found the pistols, kicking one aside and holding the other to your temple.
“These will bring me a pretty Lei or two, I’m sure the Duke would be happy to pay me handsomely. What other souvenirs have you got under that cloak of yours?”
You scrabbled against his hands, trying to execute the self-defence you’d been taught for situations such as these. You tried to get to his weak points; wrist, elbow, knee, balls, but he had you at his mercy. The number of tight spots and situations you’d come up against in your time and you couldn’t do a damn thing if someone had you pinned when their strength was greater than your own. Your hands gripped against his arm, legs kicking.
“Hand it over and I won’t hurt you. Much.” He pressed the cold of your pistol harshly into the skin under your chin.
“No!” You rasped, suddenly being thrown down for a second but caught by something before you hit the ground. Strong, hot arms held you up from falling.
You dared to open your eyes, looking over the arm at the man’s fate. He was sprawled on the ground, blood gushing from his nose and mouth.
“Get the fuck out of here.” A voice rumbled from above you. You looked up. It was Karl. You winced again and the younger man tore off into the darkness without looking back. Your body trembled from pain, cold and something else.
You looked up again. Although you still couldn’t see his eyes you could see some sort of unearthly glow behind the glasses. His skin looked fairly tanned, smooth but worn, tired maybe, and small scars scattered here and there. You were still in his arms, entranced, and so warm.
“Thank you.” You breathed. He swallowed hard and blinked, turning his face away from you, he let his arms drop now that you were on your feet, but you were still close against his body, which now felt so tense. Was he shaking?
“Go.” He exhaled. You faltered, putting a hand to his arm, he flinched, his breathing deepened. “Please.” He shut his eyes. What was this man fighting?
You gulped, stepping back, not understanding, pulling your cloak around you, and stooping to retrieve your weapons.
“Karl, Y/N what’s going on?” Urias lurched out of the pub doors, “What was that commotion?”
A couple of moments passed where you were staring at Urias, holding your cloak to you and expecting Karl to answer, but nothing happened. You turned around to look at Karl, but he wasn’t there.
Urias offered to escort you himself to Luiza’s from there. You told him what happened and although he was furious at what had happened, swearing he’d try to find the culprit and have them punished; he did not seem surprised by Karl’s sudden disappearance. To say you were shaken up was an understatement, but you at least felt safer being with this humungous man of the mountains as you made your way through the snowy night.
Song Suggestion: ‘Stumble and Pain’ by Joseph Arthur
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trulycertain · 3 years ago
Text
small scandals
f!De Sardet/Vasco, 2.5k. One of the most disgustingly fluffy things I've written. Based on the thought that Constantin would totally have opinions on who you romance.
A carriage rattles along the cobbles outside, and she lies there, half-listening to it. The few mornings she can be in her own bed, she’s come to know it; it’s the ten o’clock grain shipment. Ordinarily, she’d already be in a meeting somewhere, or traipsing along a dirt road, perhaps with Kurt and Vasco at her back. But she had a morning free, and this… is not an ordinary morning. She’d been settling in with paperwork and then she’d heard the knock at her door and… well.
She should move. Probably. But her bed is so warm, and – unusually, but in a wonderful development – it contains Vasco.
This really was meant to be a brief assignation. And she was sure they were meant to be talking about… something. Potential routes for tomorrow, perhaps. She has no idea why they’re lying next to each other, words barely thought-out and… comfortable, somehow.
She says with a lazy half-grin, “’Important business with the legate’? Did Cécile actually believe you?” She’d close her eyes, but she likes looking at him too much to manage it for long. Softness suits him. And besides, the thought of him politely tipping his hat and lying to her housekeeper...
He tilts his head, consideringly. “She sent me upstairs.” But his voice is wry.
“Mm. She definitely knows.”
He sighs, that long-suffering thing she’s learned to like far too much, and says, “Try living on a ship.”
“Try living around nobles,” she counters, and laughs at his pained expression. “Exactly.”
He says, quietly, “They can’t all be that bad. Rumour is, there’s one that some Naut captain’s fond of.”
She says, “That legate’s always been an odd one.” But she presses her forehead to his, eyes sliding closed, and she feels his hand stroke through her hair.
The gentleness should surprise her – almost did, at first, coming from the frustrated, tattooed sailor who’d barked orders at his crew – but she realised soon into their acquaintance that he is gentle. Subtle as he tries to be, and much as he’d probably mutter something offhand and drily amused about it. That same sailor was worried for a cabin boy. And he was horrified at the Guard’s ghost camps, asked her to avoid bloodshed at every turn and stepped forward for his brother without a moment’s doubt. He tossed her antidotes in the middle of battle and held off beasts for her; he apologised for his early shortness, called her a good person without hesitation, argued to a Naut that the noble who’d caused him so much trouble was sea-born, and we always help one of our own. She'd dared to suspect, but still, that gentleness was far more than she’d ever have imagined, turned on her.
She’s half-dozing when she wakes up and says, startled, “Constantin." She reaches out of bed and gropes for her watch. "I’ve got a meeting in…” She flips it open, checking. “Ten minutes. Damn.”
A quiet, displeased noise from next to her, and Vasco mutters, “Can I at least get dressed before we have to think of your cousin?”
She pauses, looks back to him… and has some trouble looking away. “Don’t strain yourself on my account.”
He raises a brow, but there’s wryness lurking around the corners of his mouth.
She only smiles at him. She was aiming for lascivious, but it softens into something fonder before she can help it. She probably shouldn’t tell the truth quite so easily, what with being a diplomat, but around him it always slips out. Generally meetings aren’t such a trial, tired as she is - but generally she doesn’t have an unnecessarily handsome Naut stretched out in her bed, wild-haired and with the sunlight clinging to his skin.
She shifts across to kiss him, and for a golden moment, he responds in kind, a hand under her chin.
(She’s still not used to that. It was the sort of idle daydream she always told herself would never come to fruition, even if he was sarcastic in turn, even if he smiled at her and she wondered…)
Then he pulls away. “You should go,” he says. She suspects he's trying for gently chiding, but it lands in amused instead.
“I won’t be long,” she says, and the words come out too hopeful.
It’s not that she expects him to stay like some sort of bedwarmer, she just…
Well, she thinks, considering him again, she wouldn’t entirely mind.
But she knows he’s not made to be idle. Neither is she, normally; it was one of the reasons they understood each other, and one of the things she could tell surprised him at first, when he was used to the thoughtlessness of nobility. And she hadn’t quite meant to lose track of time, she’d just…
“I’ll meet you at the docks,” he says. “I need to check in on a shipment. The Guard are lying in the ledgers again.” He adds, in a mutter, “Not that that’s unusual.”
She nods. “Of course.” And then she drags herself away to hunt for her clothing.
She can feel him watching her; it prickles up her spine, a certain warmth that’s growing familiar. She should probably be more self-conscious. She was often teased about her lack of delicacy, growing up in court. She’s about six feet of lankiness and leg – excellent for her reach with a rapier, but not ideal for a court lady. Also, since she’s come here, new scars, and lean muscle that some would say makes her look like a labourer. But he’s called her beautiful more than once, kissing the word breathlessly into her skin, and somehow, she believes him. She certainly believes the way his eyes linger. She looks over her shoulder and his gaze meets hers, without a hint of shame. Then he rolls out of her bed, too.
She’s buttoning her doublet when she feels his hand against hers. She looks down, and takes her hat from him with a nod of thanks. He half-smiles at her, with the ruefulness that comes from having to snatch these moments while they can, in between governors and dantrigs and narrowly-averted civil wars. She places it on her head, idly watching him re-tie his hair and start to re-don the mantle of the quiet, hawk-eyed shadow at her back.
She tries not to be embarrassed. Neither of them is entirely used to this, not yet. They’ve only managed perhaps three occasions where the world has relented enough to give them any time together; they’ve only had one night sleeping in the same bed. And her previous dalliances were at court, not with a friend who knows her, who looks at her like… that. Not with a man who read her poetry and actually seemed to mean it.
She can’t help but step forwards, pretending to pull up the collar of his coat, adjusting a buckle. Absolutely because they’re trying for some measure of discretion, and not because she’d like to touch him again, for as long as she can.
He knows, of course. He’s spent long enough watching her back, and he’s always been good with people - differently from the way she is, but good all the same. When she looks up from her work, his eyes are warm and a little amused on hers.
And then he’s pulling her in, gently but inexorably, and kissing her. It’s a slow, lingering thing that makes them both breathless, and he holds her there, a gloved hand smoothing down her lapel. Suddenly she suspects she isn’t the only one having trouble tearing herself away.
When they part, he stares at her for a moment, dark-eyed - then reaches up and swiftly adjusts her hat where it’s been knocked askew. She can’t help grinning stupidly at him.
And then he takes his own tricorne from her bedside table and pulls it on, and they leave the house with the ease of their usual missions. She pretends not to have a spring in her step. And she certainly doesn’t look over her shoulder when they part in the square.
-
Constantin is, for once, not holding court. She finds him in his office, he greets her - as usual - as if she’s just come back after being thought dead at sea, and they make an itinerary of which higher-ups she’ll have to meet in Hikmet.
All in all, entirely normal, until she says, standing, “Well, I ought to be off. I’ll take Aphra and Vasco; they might be useful.”
And Constantin smiles at her and says, “Of course. Take care of yourself! And give my regards to your Naut.’”
She freezes mid-way through reaching for her hat.
Their eyes meet. She carefully doesn't say anything.
Then she breaks. “He’s not my - “
He’s lazing in his chair, with the smugness of victory. In that obnoxiously cheerful I know something you don’t way, the one that makes her fingers itch to push him out of a tree.
She raises an eyebrow. “Should I ask how you know?”
“Oh, no,” he waves a hand, “you were both being very discreet. You remember the time I asked you if you wanted to go out drinking?”
She sits down, slowly, and tries not to feel like a mouse lowering itself into a trap. She says, with gentle understatement, “There were a few.”
“Yes, well. The most recent one. The one where you refused, because you had terribly important business to attend to.” He looks like some sort of painting of innocence, and that’s how she knows she’s damned to never, ever live this down. “You might have left his poisons belt on the bannister.”
She’s too court-trained to blush, but she feels heat trying to crawl into her face all the same. “There’s more than one poisons belt in New Serene.”
“Only a few with a Naut’s compass carved into them. And what were you talking about a few weeks ago? Your painstaking modifications…”
She tries to regain her equilibrium. “I… We’re Merchants. We give gifts.”
“I know, cousin, and I’m very grateful for my last two hats. The feather was a lovely touch.” He leans his chin on his hand. “But the last time I saw you, you were inexplicably cheerful. Normally I like watching all the longing gazes, while he stares nobly elsewhere or prepares your maps. It’s the best entertainment I’ve had in years. Only, all those had stopped, and suddenly you were studiously trying not to look at him.” He tilts his head, and grins like the cat that’s caught the canary. “And you’re blushing. Adorable.”
“Constantin...” She attempts to hide from the onslaught, but there really isn’t anywhere to go.
“I only wanted to offer my congratulations.” He stands, as if propelled from his chair by the force of his own smugness. “My father would kill you, of course. It’s rather marvellous, really. You were always the one he never had to worry about. I was so certain you’d end up single, or with one of those dreadfully dull nobles from a court somewhere.” He pauses like he’s just remembered she’s there. “Nice, of course, and as long as you were happy – But to think, a Naut! Usually I’m the resident disappointment. Was it the tattoos? They are so very fascinating...” And then he must catch sight of her face, because that pulls him to a stop. “I’m sorry. I’ve got ahead of myself.” And he sits, just a little deflated.
“He’s not some scandal,” she says, quietly. “He’s my – He’s Vasco.”
He’s sober, now, watching her softly. “I know. And I really am pleased for you both.” He looks back to his own papers. “You may have to be subtle, to prevent accusations of favouritism for the Nauts, but… you certainly don’t have to hide it from me. I’ve seen how he looks at you. He’s almost worthy of you.”
She squints at that. “How does he look at me?”
“I thought you’d have noticed! That said, he is rather subtle, isn’t he?” He grins at her. “Hmm… Like a man who’s been hit about the head with something heavy. That sort of not-quite-dazed look. He looks” – and he considers the bookshelves, mouth a theatrical moue of contemplation – “like a man startled by his own luck. I’ve seen enough winners at cards. Only the odd moment, of course, and then he wipes it away and pretends to be very solemn and businesslike.”
She stares, warming at the thought despite herself. “I… he does?”
“He's not bad. I’m sure anyone else wouldn’t catch it. But we, dear cousin, were raised at court.” He looks at her - incredulous, delighted. “And you call yourself a diplomat!”
“I was… busy.”
“Yes. Throwing him your own adoring looks.”
“Being a diplomatic envoy.” She’s quite sure her shade of purple is clashing violently with her coat.
He ostentatiously checks his nails. “Do Nauts marry, perchance?”
“So help me, Constantin, I will leave your court and never come back - “
And then he’s laughing, rich and uninhibited, and it rings like a bell off the high ceiling. It’s been too long since she’s heard that.
-
“Constantin knows,” she announces, when they’re in a camp a quarter of the way to Hikmet, and Aphra’s left to answer a call of nature. “And he’s laughing at us both.”
Vasco’s brows raise, and then he says, flatly, “I’m not surprised. The man’s been smirking at me in the throne room for a month.”
“I…That’s just his face.”
“To you, it might be. He’s worse than my crew.”
“I... think he’s threatening to buy you a drink.” Grimacing, she admits, “I might have fled before he finished talking.”
He considers her, sharp-eyed and face carefully straight, and says, “I could poison him, if you like.”
“Please don’t. They might make me governor.”
The facade cracks, and he smiles at her, broadly and all sharp teeth. Then it fades. “Do you mind him knowing?” And his voice is quiet, that sort of carefully brisk that means he’s trying to bandage being businesslike over potential hurt. The same tentativeness she saw when he asked her what she thought of the poem, as if he had any hope of hiding what he really meant.
Her first instinct has always been to try charm, and when words fail her, to joke; that’ll end with her in a duel someday. “That I’m with a brave, dashing captain who’s one of the best in the fleet? No. I was just trying not to make him jealous.” She says, with her own uncertainty, “Why? Do you mind him knowing?”
He looks surprised at the question – and then thoughtful, and more than a little fond. “I’ve weathered worse than a bit of scuttlebutt,” he says, stepping forwards to close the distance between them, his hand drifting upwards to map her jaw, her cheek. He smiles when she leans into it, and then he’s kissing her, gentle and far too sweet for a man who can terrify bandits. “My tempest,” he says softly, against her skin, resting there.
A man startled by his own luck.
And now she’s certain her smile must make her look like a fool and would have her pilloried at court, but she can’t bring herself to care. She just lets the silence grow for a moment, and leans into the warmth of him.
Even so, she can’t quite help herself: “I’ve changed my mind. You can poison him, if it would make you feel better.”
He laughs at that, one of her favourite sounds in the world. But he doesn’t let go of her.
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malachi-walker · 4 years ago
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Happy birthday, Mal! I love your fics, they evoke so much emotion in me and have made me cry many a time. I don't often reread fics, but i've reread multiple chapters of Rhythm and Blues because they're stuck with me so much. You capture the emotional pain of their trauma and the catharsis that comes with their growth so beautifully. You also write some brilliant meta and just consistently post some fantastic thoughts. Also your love for swords is very appreciated. <3 have a lovely day!
First of all, my apologies for not replying sooner. I was making my mind up about something that would definitely require the use of a read more and thus necessitate dragging myself to desktop (which I hate because my laptop predates the dinosaurs.)
But seriously. Thank you so much. This is honestly one of the sweetest comments I've ever gotten and definitely made my already pretty sweet bday even better.
So about that read more. In honor of you, @metalesbo, my friends @n7punk and @jem-jarrett and everyone else who sent me well wishes or just really loves my work... Here's the opening section of the next chapter of R&B. Enjoy. It's a long one.
Adora Eternia is about two months shy of her fourteenth birthday when she first realizes she's in love with her best friend.
Though--if asked--she would hasten to explain that it wasn't when she fell in love. But trying to pinpoint the exact moment is an exercise in catching mist: the more she tries to grasp it in her hands the more it spreads out and covers everything. It just is: pure and simple and very, very complicated.
It's the beginning of December and the whole town is covered in a thick blanket of snow. Winterfest will be here in a few weeks, so to help out the kids who want to get gifts for their friends the Right Zone administration has shuffled around the groups that usually take their monthly trips on the third and fourth Sundays of the month to double up with the other two. As part of group three, she and Catra got the first week (the other three members of their crew are week two folks anyway and thus outside the reorganization.)
It's still kinda weird to think that: their crew. For so long, it was just Catra and Adora. Adora and Catra. One unit bound together, just them against the world. But there's also something nice about being part of a small cluster, their "scrappy little lone wolf pack" as Catra had once put it with a wry grin before Lonnie shoved her over with an, "Excuse you, I'm a great people person when I'm not busy making sure you idiots haven't set yourselves on fire!"
They all got a good laugh out of that one.
But regardless, the holidays are coming up and this is the first year that any of their group has felt like actually doing anything for it, aside from wrangling together a sleepover and seeing if they can convince the kitchen staff to slip them some leftover eggnog.
They made each other promise not to go too extravagant and keep each person's gift to ten dollars or lower. Even though their quarterly stipend has increased from three hundred to four hundred to match with inflation over the past eight years, it still isn't a whole lot for three month's worth of expenses, especially when they also have to budget regularly for clothes to keep up with the seemingly endless growth spurts.
There's also the usual budgetary concern of keeping her and Catra's first aid kit well supplied...
Adora shakes her head to dislodge the intrusive thought and continues marching onward through the snow. This trip is a good thing. She won't let all the awful realities of their life taint it.
With so many kids running around and wanting to shop on their own to surprise their giftees, Right Zone had to negotiate with both the local police and whatever other civic authorities they could get ahold of to come out en masse and keep an eye on them all. The kids had still come with their usual teachers, of course, but doubling the load and also splitting up was a logistical nightmare. Which is just a convoluted way to say the town is positively crawling with uniformed officers, off duty members of the fire brigade, emergency personnel, and other such authority figures quietly keeping watch and making sure no one tries anything.
Adora knows that somewhere in the press of bodies, Grizzlor's busy wrangling two new "brats" (seven and nine, respectively, and definitely not friends.) Somewhere, a certain Magicat is probably grumbling over the indignity of being forced to wear shoes and kicking every snowpile she can, like she can send a direct message to whatever cosmic force is responsible for her current frustration.
On an ordinary month she and Catra--being old enough to be allowed a bit more freedom to do what they want--would buddy up to watch each other's backs while they did their shopping. But this isn't an ordinary month, so once they'd each gotten gifts for the other three they'd split up on opposite ends of Main Street with an agreement to move clockwise to avoid running into each other. Afterwards, the entire group would rendezvous at the small clock tower in the park a block over before heading back to Right Zone.
Ten dollars wasn't a lot to work with, but Adora had done her best: a new stress ball for Kyle, some moisturizing oil for Rogelio since the early winter shed had wiped out his supply and he'd been too busy to pick up some more, a twelve pound kettle weight for Lonnie now that their shared exercise routine was getting a bit too easy for her... Utilitarian choices, to be sure, but she's been paying attention and that has to count for something.
Catra's the difficult one, of course. Partly because Adora doesn't want to just get her something practical, but also because they share nearly everything between them already. About the only thing that is definitively off limits is Catra's guitar, and she's told Adora enough about her time with Tao over the years that Adora wouldn't even ask. Beyond that... Well, there's a reason why most of Adora's day off hoodies have small strands of orange fur stuck to them.
Still. I want to get her something that's hers. Something she'll like. Something she doesn't have to share with anyone, not even me.
In the end, she nearly walks past it. In one of the artisanal shops that dot small towns like liver spots, she finds a display of hand stamped necklace pendants, with a design sheet beside it. There are a lot of the usual nature designs and such, but the one that catches her eye is a treble clef with the five staff lines bleeding out from it. They ring the edge of the pendant in a half circle, and scattered haphazardly along the lines are the other music notes.
The lack of proper order would drive Adora insane. She understands that it's just meant to look pretty, not be an accurate representation of musical notation, but still... She knows her own (broken) brain well enough to know that.
It suits Catra, though.
"Hey," Mismatched eyes looked down at Adora as her head draped backwards over the back of their desk chair, the throbbing behind her left eye threatening to escalate into a migraine. "Guess I don't have to ask how the composing's going."
"It sucks," Adora groused back, sitting up and gesturing Catra over. She jabbed at two particular spots with the half chewed off eraser end of her pencil, two hard jabs each, like she was filing a complaint. "Most of it is just what I'm going for, but these two places here... They aren't sounding right. I've been going back and forth over structure all afternoon, but nothing I do helps."
"Hmmm..." Catra stroked her chin and nudged Adora over so she could sit on the arm of the chair (they'd never gotten around to requesting a second, mostly because Adora didn't want to risk Shadow Weaver suspecting they were getting too chummy.) "Got any scratch paper?"
Adora pointed to the pile of half crumpled notebook paper she used when making adjustments and Catra snorted. "Ok, dumb question. Just let me see here..."
Grabbing a pen, she quickly inked a fresh set of staff lines and copied the notes Adora had already put down, making sure to leave space to work. Glancing between the two, she drummed her fingers on the desk, playing along in her head.
"Hmm..." Catra murmured, worrying at her lower lip with a fang in a manner that was... Oddly distracting. "Ok, how 'bout this?"
Adora jolted, tearing her gaze from Catra's face to look at the sequence of notes scribbled onto the scratch paper. She paused, brow furrowing as she played them over in her mind's eye. It was a little unorthodox, veering away from the path she had carefully laid out... But also blending well with the next part. Almost like the notes took a quick detour and then lead the listener back to where she wanted them.
"Yeah..." Adora replied thoughtfully, the tension all over her body starting to smooth out. "Yeah, that could work."
"Awesome. Let's take a look at the next part."
They ultimately ended up spending several hours going over the entire piece, sussing out every place where Adora was having even the slightest niggle of unease. She didn't accept all of Catra's changes and Catra didn't push the matter, but the ones she did...
They felt right. More right than they had ever felt when it was just Adora running circles around herself.
When they finally finished up she looked over at Catra, tail waving sedately in that way it got when she was simultaneously engaged but relaxed, and asked, "Umm... Do you want to learn with me? I like doing this."
'I like making music with you.'
Catra paused, looking over at Adora searchingly, almost like she couldn't believe the question had come up. No matter how many years had passed between them, that look never really went away, and every time she saw it Adora's chest ached in a way that was hard for her to process.
"I'd like that."
Catra's composing style is very different from Adora's. More wild, more willing to bend and break the rules if it means maintaining audience engagement, but there's always an underlying order to the chaos. To her surprise and pleasure, Adora found herself learning just as much from Catra as Catra was learning from her. Their styles brought out the best in each other.
The jingle of a bell kicks her out of the memory. Mind made up even though it's nearly double her budget, Adora scans the stand of necklaces for the one with the treble clef pattern.
It isn't there. Adora swallows down the disappointment, though she can't help the sigh. Of course. The town was well aware of the large population of music students a short drive away and catered to them accordingly. But there are also dozens of kids out on the street tonight. It isn't that big of a surprise that the design sold out.
Not surprising, but disheartening nonetheless.
She's just begun to turn away when a voice calls from the back. "Hang on a sec there, little miss."
Adora jumps, but remains where she is as a large Taurian man with a massive snow white beard trundles out from a door behind the counter, wiping his hands on his apron. "Was there a particular design you were interested in?"
Adora points at the treble clef, hope rising. "This one. But it looks like it's already sold out."
"Hmm..." The man scratchs at his chin. "Well with Winterfest coming up, I'm out of blank pendants-"
Adora's shoulders slump.
"-But," The man continues with a smile. "I can double stamp it onto the back of another. Ordinarily I'd charge extra for that, but it's my fault for not ordering enough blanks. Rookie move. Besides, it's the holidays. Now would that be all right by you?"
Nodding frantically in case he changes his mind, Adora scans the other designs, quickly alighting on one in particular. "That one!"
"The claw marks? Bit of an odd combination, but the customer is always right," The old man winked as he reached out to take the necklace from her. "My jig and press is in the corner over here if you wanna watch."
Adora was glad he specified, because as nice as the man seemed there was no way in hell she was going into a back room with a stranger. But she stood next to the window beside a display of miscellaneous knick knacks and puzzles, watching him carefully place the pendant in a cushioned stand to avoid damaging the already printed side and tighten it into place before moving beside the machine.
"You're gonna want to cover your ears," He tells her, patting the machine with one massive hand. "Had to switch to a steam press when the arthritis caught up to me. Used to do it all by hammer. This boy's okay, but he gets loud."
Adora nods, glad for the warning when he bellows "Clear!" and the machine's hammer comes down once, twice, three times with a sound like the ringing of an enormous bell. Once the machine is stopped and carefully turned off, the old man removes the pendant from the press and hands it over to Adora for inspection. "What do you think? Does it pass muster?"
Adora runs her fingertips over the impressions in the metal, memorizing the feel of it, the leftover warmth of the impact. "Perfect."
"Good. Now let's get you rung up."
Counting the five dollars she attempted to surreptitiously slip into the tip jar (the old man winked as he turned back around, so stealth fail) Adora went very over budget, but the others would have to put a gun to her head for her to admit it.
Besides, it's Catra. They already know she's the sole exception to all of Adora's carefully maintained rules.
With everything finished, she continues trudging through the snow toward the park, breathing a sign of relief as she moves away from the shopping district and the people thin out; no one wanting to go to the park in the middle of such bleak weather. Angling around a clustered group of bare trees, she spots the small clock tower in the distance, as well as the figure already standing beside it. Grinning, Adora picks up the pace a bit until she can see Catra clearly and--
Her breath catches.
Since her only experience with this kind of thing has been through books, Adora always expected this moment would be more dramatic. Like back to back in the middle of a fight, or eyes locking from up on stage. Something spectacular, like fireworks, lime explosions, like the feeling of playing a song without a single mistake for the first time. It's always seemed like such a big deal in the stories, and in a way, it is.
Because there's Catra, lost in her own world as she gazes up at the streetlight that's just come on, her left hand extended to let the snowflakes fall into her palm and the light catches the orange of her fur just right to make a blaze of color against the black of her coat. She looks so small, standing in that space all alone on a cold winter's night, but Adora knows deep down that she could never be that small, not when she's Catra, not when she means so much...
Pretty much everything about the past hour--about her entire life since they met if she's being honest--snaps into crystal clear focus.
Oh. I get it now. I'm in love with you.
It's a bad idea. Adora knows that. Shadow Weaver is enough of a menace while believing Catra is simply her roommate, her sometime tool--and Catra had ended up being all too right about the torture not stopping, even after years of Adora trying to direct Weaver's attentions away from her. If the evil old bitch figures out Adora's feelings run deeper, so much deeper...
Her heart beats double time. This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster.
But it's still the best worst thing that's ever happened to her.
She must make a noise, because Catra's ear twitches in her direction, snapping her out of that distant contemplation. She turns her head and looks at Adora, lips curling in a lopsided grin. "Hey, Adora. Wow, you look like you've seen a ghost."
Adora blinks, coming back to herself and mumbling the first excuse that springs to mind. "... Just cold."
"Well no shit. C'mere."
When she closes the distance Catra glances around warily, making sure they're the only ones around, before reaching up and retying the scarf around Adora's neck, patting it once when she's done. "There. I know I make it look good, but you don't have the advantage of fur like me."
Adora looks down at the thin AC/DC t-shirt that Catra's wearing beneath her half open coat, the line of her collarbones and neck, and makes a snap decision. "Is it okay if I give you your present now?"
Catra blinks, a little thrown by the non sequitur. "I mean... Sure? Do you want me to give you yours?"
"I'm good with either," Adora shrugs, trying to ignore how fast her heart is beating, how much she wants to do this before this moment slips away. "I just want to."
There's a long moment of silence as they each examine the other, equally searching. What Catra's looking for, Adora doesn't know. She isn't sure she wants to know.
"Okay."
Breathing deep, Adora reaches into her pocket and pulls out the necklace on its leather cord. Careful to keep the pendant hidden in her hand, she passes it over, fingertips sparking as it's taken. Catra brings it close to her face, running her fingers over the four parallel slashes on the side facing her.
"Why the claw marks?"
Adora laughs, nervous butterflies positively rioting in her stomach. "Because you're a badass. Duh."
"True," Catra smirks, flipping it over and squinting at the other side. "And this?"
"Badass, loves music with all your heart. Not mutually exclusive concepts," Adora says, trying not to give away how much she thinks about this, how much she wants to take that hand in hers. She settles for a playful shoulder bump instead. "Plus we all know you're secretly a big softie."
"Excuse you, I am all sharp edges," Catra giggles, lightly elbowing her before transitioning into a soft little smile. "... Just not with everyone."
Oh God oh God oh God. That smile will absolutely be the death of her.
Swallowing past her horrible awareness of that softness, Adora asks, "So you like it?"
"I love it. Good luck ever getting me to take it off," Catra laughs, then frowns, flexing her fingers. "Hands have gone a little numb, though. Help me put it on?"
Adora.exe promptly crashes to desktop. But she still somehow manages to move, helping Catra hold back her mane so she can slip the leather cord over her head and tuck it beneath her hair. If she hesitates a moment too long in letting go, at least Catra only shoots her an amused glance. "How's it look?"
"Great," Adora manages to croak out, trying to swallow past the sudden dryness in her throat. "You look great. Umm... Happy early Winterfest, I guess?"
"Well, I'm gonna hold onto yours a little longer," Catra laughs, playfully sticking out her tongue before reaching out. "C'mere, you big dork."
Adora shuffles closer, mind and heart both screaming as Catra draws her into a hug, nuzzling her head against the side of her neck. A little whisper. "Thank you."
Adora swallows again, even harder. "You're welcome."
Between them, the necklace rests, the music side pressed right up against Catra's heart.
----------
Fun fact: the shopkeep is based off a cool old dude selling machine pressed necklaces I ran into at a Scottish festival when I was 13, and he made such an impression I never forgot him. Anyway, happy Valentine's! Have a Big Gay Realization!
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middleearthpixie · 3 years ago
Text
In Time ~ Chapter Twenty-Five
Author's Note: I'm posting this far later than usual because today simply got away from me. Doncha hate that???
Summary: The Company of Thorin Oakenshield reaches Mirkwood, where Thorin will offer a deal to Thranduíl on Kili’s behalf, and later on, Amara runs into an old friend who fires up Thorin’s jealous streak
Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield/Amara (female OC)
Characters: Thorin, Amara, the Company, Thranduíl, Aiduin of Mirkwood
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Word Count: 4,205
Taggin: @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @tschrist1
As it happened, their luck, did in fact hold out over the fortnight it took for them to reach Mirkwood’s border. Thorin scowled as they stood at the Mirkwood border, where two of Thranduíl’s men stood silent sentry. He didn’t want to be there. After all, the last time he and the others found themselves in Mirkwood, spiders had tried to eat them, elves tried to kill them, and Thranduíl himself had them tossed into then dungeons. If it hadn’t been for Master Baggins, who never did explain exactly how he managed it, snagging the dungeon keys, they might still be in those tiny, damp, woodland cells.
But, the hobbit had freed them, smuggled them out in barrels, in which they bounced about like corks tossed on the river’s swift current, battling not only the elves trying to stop them, but the orcs sent to hunt Thorin himself.
He looked over at Kili, whose eyes practically gleamed at the sight of the wood. It was because of this place he’d met Tauriel, the she-elf who’d saved his skin the first time. Saved his skin and apparently won his heart. Although Kili rarely spoke of her, Thorin had the feeling he knew exactly what went through his nephew’s mind. Most likely the same thing that went through his own mind whenever he looked at Amara.
Which was why they were at Thranduíl’s front door. As much as it would pain him—and it would definitely pain him—Thorin would willingly gift the Seven Stars of Middle Earth necklace to Thranduíl if it meant Thranduíl would give his blessing for Kili to court Tauriel. The same blasted necklace that kept the woodland elves from aiding Erebor in its time of need, that caused Thranduíl to threaten Erebor with what became the Battle of the Five Armies, would find its way to Mirkwood, no matter how much Thorin hated to do it. He had no love lost for Thranduíl and knew the feeling was mutual, but he’d put aside his own dislike and distrust of the Elf King if it mean Kili would find the same happiness with Tauriel that he’d found with Amara.
With that, he climbed down from his saddle and stepped up to the sentries. “Thorin Oakenshield to see Thranduíl.”
“Does His Highness expect you?”
He shook his head. “He does not, no. But tell him I have something he wants and I am willing to discuss parting with it.”
The two sentries looked at one another, then the shorter of the two turned as the doors opened noiseless, and disappeared inside.
Thorin stared down the second sentry. He didn’t like being in Mirkwood. The air was heavy with apprehension and dread, its waters were enchanted with what some considered black magic, and the spiders alone were enough to make him want to avoid the woods with ever fiber of his being, for they were no ordinary spiders. They were big enough to hunt man, dwarf, and elf, and did so without impunity. Even from where he stood, at the edge the wood and vine bridge that would lead them into the Kingdom of Mirkwood, he could see the wispy white spiderwebs in the distance. Just the sight of them was enough to bring back the claustrophobic feeling of being wrapped in one of their cocoons.
He fought off a shiver as the memory of being wrapped so suffocatingly tight, of being unable to move much more than a finger or a toe, rushing to the forefront of his mind. Again, if it hadn’t been for Master Baggins and his sword—which he’d dubbed Sting—they might not have survived long enough to find their way into those dungeons.
“What is taking so long?” Dwalin grumbled from his saddle.
“I am certain Thranduíl is trying to come up with some reason to deny us entry,” Thorin told him over one shoulder, “all the while his curiosity kills him because he knows he’ll not be able to.”
“I say we keep moving,” Dwalin countered. “Why are we even here?”
Thorin grinned at Kili. “Do you wish to explain or should I?”
Kili held his stare easily. “I am not the one who always railed about how untrustworthy elves were. I do believe that was you, Uncle.” He winked. “Tell me, do you still feel that way?”
He asked it with all the innocence one could put into a sentence and Thorin’s grin faded as the others all snickered. “Enjoy your laugh at my expense,” he growled, looking from one dwarf to the next, finally letting his gaze land on Kili once more. “But, remember, I have something he wants. So, I’d think twice about baiting me, Kili, since I’ve yet to actually give him what it is he covets. And if I decide to keep it for myself, you will most likely not be welcome here again.”
Kili’s face went red as the others now turned their snickers in his direction. Dwalin laughed the loudest. “Last time ye blushed tha’ bad, laddie, was when ye mistook an elf-lad for an elf-maiden.”
Now even the sentry grinned as Kili’s face went redder still. From the corner of his eye, Thorin saw Amara shake her head and he almost smiled when she said, “To be fair, it is sometimes difficult to tell them apart.”
Kili smiled at her. “Let them have their fun.” He looked back at Thorin. “I won’t have to eat any words.”
Now, Thorin smiled over his shoulder at her. “I don’t mind eating these words.”
“Mr. Oakenshield,” the first sentry returned, his expression neutral, “My Lord Thranduíl will see you. Follow me. Edyrm will see your ponies to the stables.”
The others dismounted and Thorin didn’t miss how Edrym’s gaze lingered on Amara. Thorin said nothing, but reached out to link his fingers with hers. “She’s with me.”
“Thorin!” Amara whispered.
“What? I’m merely stating a fact. You are with me.”
“I know that, but he does not care one way or the other.”
He shrugged. “I take no chances.”
She said nothing, but he didn’t miss how she rolled her eyes. Well, let her. He cared not. He had no problem making it perfectly clear to any curious elf that Amara was with him. Childish, perhaps, but he rather enjoyed knowing that they would at that moment be wishing they were him. And sane man—be they Man, elf, or dwarf—would want to be in his boots.
They followed their guide into Thranduíl’s palace. Unlike Rivendell, Thorin found no peace or tranquility in Mirkwood. Everything was dark, earthy tones of brown, beiges, red and gold, with hints of green here and there. The air felt heavy and thick, damp from all of the roots and vines that made up the palace walls. The walkways were wide, open of both sides, with what looked like endless drops on either side. Nothing had changed since the last time he stood in the throne room, where the Woodland Realm’s king sat perched high atop his throne.
Unlike the Rivendell king, Thranduíl was tall and lanky, with sleek almost-white blonde hair and wide, almost clear blue eyes. He wore a crown woven of golden twigs and leaves encrusted with gold and brown polished stones that changed color depending on how the light—what light there was—bounced off them. He wore long, flowing robes of gold over green, and two slender fingers on each hand bore rings of the same gold and brown stones in his crown.
Those blue eyes were not the least bit friendly as he peered down at them now. “Thorin Oakenshield. It has been some time since we last spoke. I believe I’d had you dragged off to rot in my dungeon, hadn’t I?”
“The dungeons from which I promptly escaped,” he retorted, unable to hold back his smirk.
Thranduíl offered up a bland smile. “Your hobbit friend had more to do with that than you did, did he not?”
“Be that as it may, I still escaped.”
“And then, of course, there was my visit to your doorstep.” Thranduíl’s voice grew colder, if that was even possible. “When you opted for war over negotiation.”
“I was not myself then.” Thorin cast a quick, sideline glance at Amara, whose hand tightened about his ever so slightly.
The Elvenking’s expression turned sympathetic, but only for a moment or two, then his face slid back into its impassive mask.
“So, what brings you and your—” Thranduíl’s piercing gaze slid about the others gathered around him, lingering on Amara just as Edrym’s did—“company, to my realm?”
Thorin glanced over at Kili, whose color had returned to normal, and said, “I come to you with a business proposition. One I’d rather discuss one on one with you.”
Thranduíl’s eyes narrowed. “Is that so? The last time you were in my chambers, you thought to insult me. Then, you challenged me to war.”
A bit of heat came to Thorin’s face and he fought the urge to look over at his company. He’d said the same thing to Thranduíl that he’d insulted Amara with when they’d first met. “Our meeting last time was a bit—ah—tense, on account of not only had we had the pleasure of dealing with your spiders, but then we were, for all intents and purposes, treated as prisoners.”
“You were, if I recall,” Thranduíl reminded him, his voice void of any emotion whatsoever, “trespassing in my woods. Of course you were treated as prisoners. As for the spiders, they are not mine.”
“Oh, for the love of—“ Dwalin growled, but Thorin cut him off.
“Hush,” he snapped, without looking at Dwalin. To Thranduíl, he said, “Even so, I do have something I think you would be interested in and I am willing to bargain for something in return. But, I’d rather do so privately.”
Thranduíl’s lips disappeared into a thin white line and the slender fingers slowly fanned across the arm of his wooded throne. Then, he nodded. “Very well. Lorsan, show our guests to the dining hall and make certain they have something to eat and drink. Then, you may show them to the guest chambers,” those eyes flicked back to Thorin, “as I assume you will wish to pass the night.”
The last thing he wanted was to try to sleep in this tangle of vines and roots, but since he very well couldn’t say that, he nodded. “Your hospitality is greatly appreciated.”
He turned to Amara. “I will join you all when I’ve finished here.”
She looked up at Thranduíl, then back at him. “Why do you look so serious? Is something the matter?”
“Not at all,” he assured her, catching her hand to give it a gentle squeeze. “I’m about to throw myself on my proverbial sword for Kili and I think I’ll have but one chance to get it right.”
She leaned in and whispered, “Tauriel?”
He nodded. “Exactly.”
“Well, good luck.” She bent to brush his cheek with her lips, a hint of laughter in her voice as she murmured, “Remember, be nice.”
“Am I ever not nice?”
She pulled away, one brow arched, “Ish kakfe—”
“Unfair. You said yourself I was in unimaginable pain and so could not be held—”
“I did and you were. Just tread carefully. Elves are vain and Thranduíl more so than most.” She patted his shoulder and followed after Balin, who waited as the rest of the dwarves filed out of the throne room.
Thorin turned back to the Elven King, who now stood atop his high dais. With extreme care, so as not to trip over his robes, he slowly descended and swept toward him. “What is this about? You seemed quite adamant that you were interested only in war the last time we met.”
“Nearly dying has a way of changing the way one looks at things,” Thorin replied evenly. “I have had time enough to reflect on my actions and the mistakes I made leading up to the battle. And now, I’ve come to rectify those mistakes.”
“Have you?” A hint of amusement wove into Thranduíl’s voice, his gaze direct and unwavering. “And if your terms do not interest me?”
“They will.”
Lorsan led the group down deeper into the palace, where the air felt even colder and damper, and smelled of moss and rainwater. Amara shivered from the dampness, wrapping her arms about herself and rubbing her upper arms to try to warm herself, for all the good it did.
The others didn’t seem to notice the dank chill. Either that, or they didn’t care, for they chatted amongst themselves. She lingered behind them, looking about at how the roots from the trees of Mirkwood wove through one another to make the walls of the palace below.
“Amara?”
She froze at the soft, smooth voice that skimmed over her ears like satin. She knew that voice—or had known it, was more accurate—and when she turned and spotted the tall, slender he-elf, with the shimmering blond hair and eyes that were almost as dark as freshly watered soil, her smile rose of its own. “Aiduin?”
“You do remember me.”
“As if I could forget,” she said with a laugh as he caught up to her and threw his arms about her. “How are you?”
“I was fine but now, I think it safe to say I am even better! What brings you to Mirkwood?”
“She’s with us,” Dwalin growled, coming up behind her. “And it would be in yer best interest, laddie, to take yer hands from her.”
Aiduin’s eyes went wide. “I beg your pardon?”
Dwalin none-too-gently knocked Aiduin’s arms from either side of her. “There. Was tha’ simple enough for ye?”
“Dwalin!” She glared at him over her shoulder. “What are you doing?”
“Thorin won’t like another man putting his hands on ye.” Dwalin glared at Aiduin. “He won’t like it a’tall.”
“Thorin?” Aiduin turned his puzzled look to her. “Oakenshield? You’re with him?”
She nodded, but before she could say anything, Dwalin cut in with, “She’s his intended. So, if I were ye, I’d make myself scarce before he sees you.”
“Dwalin!” Amara gritted through clenched teeth. “That’s enough.”
She turned back to Aiduin. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d decided you were going to strike out for parts unknown?”
“Miss Amara,” Balin stepped up alongside his brother, “you should come along.”
“You all go on ahead and I will catch up in a few minutes.” She gestured to Aiduin. “He is but an old friend and I’d like to catch up with him.”
Balin and Dwalin both frowned, which made her frown right back at them. “Do not look at me that way. Go.”
“Thorin won’t like this.”
“Why? There is nothing to like or dislike. Aiduin is, as I said, an old friend.”
Balin shook his head. “Very well. But—”
“If you say Thorin will not like it again, I’m going to scream,” she replied politely, but firmly. “Thorin will not care. Why should he?”
The brothers exchanged looks and she rolled her eyes. Then, she tucked her arm through Aiduin’s and said, “We have some catching up to do, don’t we?”
Aidiun didn’t look so certain. “Your friends don’t seem to think it wise.”
“It is fine. Besides, I’ve had only them for company for a fortnight. Now it is time for me to spend time with someone else for a change.” She smiled up at him. “So, shall we?”
Aiduin led her away from the grumbling dwarves, and she tried to ignore the nagging feeling that Thorin would indeed disapprove of her going off with another elf. But Aiduin wasn’t simply any other elf. He’d trained in Rivendell with her, before striking out for those parts unknown. How he came to be in Mirkwood was something she wished to know.
“Your friends seem to think you are going to get in trouble.”
She sighed softly. “They worry. They mean well, but at times, they can be overbearing. So,” she looked up at him, “do tell how you came to be here?”
“It’s quite simple. Mirkwood needed a healer. I needed work. Thranduíl took a liking to me and here I am. How about you? Are you still in residence in Rivendell? Or do you now wander like the dwarves?”
She smiled as they strolled along an open walkway, away from the palace and into the woods. It didn’t feel quite so suffocating out in the forest itself. “I wander with the dwarves now,” she told him as they stopped near a small pool. Trees alive and dead were all around, fallen over the pathway, vines doing their best to reclaim them. “Although, wander is not the correct term, I suppose. I’m journeying to Erebor.”
“As their healer?”
She shook her head. “No. Thorin and I… We are to be married.”
Aiduin’s smile faded, but only just. Then, he caught it and it returned in full force. “You are betrothed to a dwarf? I am not so certain I believe that.”
“Why? Why could I not be betrothed to one?”
“Well, because… he’s a dwarf. And you, Amara… you could have any elf you wished. If you set your sights on him, even Thranduíl would be unable to resist you.”
“I am hardly interested in Thranduíl.” She let out a laugh then, lightly punched him in the arm. “But I am interested int what you’ve been doing. So, do tell.”
“Me? Not much, I’m afraid. I told you, I wandered about here and there, and needed work, so here I am.” Aiduin shook his head. “Hardly a fascinating tale.”
“Oh, but to one who’s never been beyond Rivendell’s borders, your vagabond life is utterly fascinating to me.”
“Really? It’s a lot of traveling, sleeping in strange places, and never knowing where your next meal is coming from.”
“Ah,” she laughed, “a true vagabond.”
“More or less.” He leaned against the low wall of woven branches. “Do tell me, how is Rivendell?”
She hesitated, a feeling of homesickness rising to squeeze her heart. “It was fine when I left. I was fortunate in that my replacement was right under my nose, and a pleasant surprise as well. Lord Elrond is the same as always, although he was a bit weary from having so many dwarves in residence.” She looked off in the direction the dining hall, where muffled shouts and laughter floated from. “They are a lively group, you know. Very high-spirited.”
“And how did a dwarf win your hand? This I must know.”
“He and his nephews came to us gravely wounded.” She turned back to meet his gaze. “The Battle of the Five Armies, you know.”
“I heard about it, yes. These are Erebor dwarves or Iron Hill dwarves?”
“Erebor.” She reached up to touch the braid Thorin had woven in her hair, her fingertip tracing along the ornament. “Thorin is their king.”
“A king?” Aiduin’s eyes widened. “Is that so?”
“It is. But he nearly lost his life at Ravenhill. Azog the Defiler ran him through.”
“He is fortunate he found his way into your Healing Room.”
She sighed softly, still tracing the ornament as she remembered that very first day, when the attendants brought Thorin into her Healing Room. “I didn’t think he would survive that night, to be honest. The sheets over and beneath him were absolutely soaked in his blood, it had soaked through his clothes, the mail he wore, and he was so deathly pale.
“But,” she lowered her hand, clasping it with her other one, “dwarves are strong and they are fighters and he held on. No matter what setback he faced, what challenges he had—and there were quite a few—he met them head on and beat them.”
“He sounds very lucky.”
She nodded. “He was. Mahal was on his side.”
“I think it’s more he was in the best of hands.”
A pleased heat stung her cheeks. “Oh, I don’t know about that, though I thank you just the same. But he’s of the line of Durin and Durin’s Folk are strong. I think he would have lived regardless.”
“So,” Aiduin looked over at her, “what brings you all here? I should think you would be making for Erebor.”
“We are, but Thorin’s nephew, Kili, is sweet on an elf named Tauriel. Because of her—“
“Tauriel? The captain of the guard?”
Amara shrugged. “I don’t know. Is there more than one Tauriel here?”
“Well, no, but I thought she was sweet on Legolas.”
“Legolas?”
“King Thranduíl’s son.”
“Oh.” She didn’t quite know how to respond to that, for she didn’t know if Kili knew about Legolas.
“Amara?”
She looked over and smiled as Thorin strode toward them. “How did your meet with Thranduíl go?”
“Fine, thank you.” Thorin didn’t return her smile and in fact, glared at Aiduin as he said, “I thought you’d be with the others.”
“Well, I would have, but then I bumped into Aiduin.” She slid her arm through Thorin’s and said, “Thorin Oakenshield, this is Aiduin Drannor. Aiduin, this is Thorin Oakenshield.”
Aiduin smiled and held out a hand. “A pleasure to meet you.”
“Indeed.” Thorin didn’t take his hand. He didn’t smile. In fact, she could almost feel the hostility radiating from him. “How do you and Amara know one another?”
“We trained together in Rivendell,” Aiduin replied, lowering his hand. “She was Ilyana’s star pupil.”
“Oh, hardly. You were far more skilled than I.”
Thorin’s arm stiffened against her. “We should join the others.”
With that, he turned and gave a sharp tug on her arm to pull her back toward the dining hall. She peered back over her shoulder at Aiduin, who stood there almost dumbfounded. “Thorin, that was rude.”
“Ask me if I care,” he growled, guiding her back along the walkway.
“What is the matter? I was only talking to him.”
“I didn’t like the way he looked at you.”
“Didn’t like the way he—“ she rolled her eyes—“and how was he looking at me?”
“As if he was trying to picture you naked.”
“Thorin!”
“What?” He glanced at her. “He was.”
“That is ridiculous. He is a friend and that’s it.”
“I’ve never heard you mention him.”
“Well, I haven’t seen him in years, so…”
“Trust me, I know what I saw.”
By then, they’d reached the dining hall and she yanked her arm from his grasp. “You are being ridiculous, do you know that?”
“Am I? I should think I know a look like that when I see it.”
“You are and I am done discussing it. He's a friend. No more and no less.” She moved down and sank onto the bench beside Dwalin.
Thorin followed her, sitting across from her. “Do you want to know how I know how he was looking at you?”
“No.” She glared at him. “I don’t, really. Because this entire conversation is silly.”
“Too bad, because I’m going to tell you.” He cast a sidelong glance at Dwalin, who shrugged and did not look away.
“I am not having this discussion here.”
“Fine.” He rose and came around to her side. “Walk with me, then.”
Mindful of the eyes on them, she sighed and stood. “Very well. But I think you are being ridiculous.”
“So you’ve said. Excuse us,” he said to the others, his hand coming to rest at the small of her back as he guided her toward the far end of the dining hall, where the room opened to another walkway.
Once they were out of earshot of everyone, he turned to her. “Do you know how I know?”
“How?”
“Because I am fairly certain it’s the same way I look at you.”
She just stared at him, her irritation draining away as she moved to slip her arms about his neck. “Thorin, he is but a friend. And even if he is looking at me that way, you can be certain I am not looking at him that way.”
“I still don’t like it.”
“Thorin.”
“I don’t. And if it weren’t for the fact that we are all worn out from traveling here, I would say we were leaving this evening. But I have to admit, I’m looking forward to sleeping in a comfortable bed this night and one that has no questionable smells or stains or extra dwarves. We can leave at first light come the morning.”
She smiled. The last inn before Mirkwood had been nothing short of a horror, as the innkeeper had only three rooms for the fourteen of them and she and Thorin shared theirs with Fili, Kili, and Bofur. “No. This evening, we should have some peace. Did you know Bofur sings in his sleep?”
“I did, actually.” He sighed softly, leaning in to press his forehead to hers. “I’ve no wish to fight with you, amrâlimê.”
“Nor I with you.” She threaded her fingers through his hair. “And you’ve nothing to worry about, you know. Maralmizu, Mr. Oakenshield. Nalish.”
She breathed a sigh of relief as his eyes softened and he murmured, “Maralmizi, kurdelê.”
Disaster averted.
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arknights-imagines · 4 years ago
Note
May I ask for a romantic letter from Ch'en to an informant that she's secretly with?
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From, Ch'en
Christmas Letter and Gift event
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The last thing you were expecting to get delivered to your door near Christmas was a package from the L.G.D; of course, you were in fact working very closely with them - more specifically with Superintendent Ch’en - but you had already sent to her the intel and data she needed for this month. Typically, if Ch’en had any new tasks for you, she would send a messenger - never visiting you or sending you anything herself considering the circumstances you two were in. If she was seeing you or addressing you personally, then it was never about business affairs, it was just about you two.
But that's besides the point; your name as well as your address is written on the package, so it’s definitely meant for you. Assuming the package pertains to business affairs, you tuck it under your arm and hurry to find somewhere to sit in order to figure out what the delivery is for - after making yourself comfortable, you open the box up, confusion crossing your face as your eyes fall to its contents.
A manila envelope with the Lungmen coat-of-arms stamped onto it catches your attention immediately, as does the disclaimer written on it: ‘Classified letter. Please keep envelope sealed. Anyone who tampers with this letter unless authorized to will be required to answer directly to Madam Ch’en.’ You blink, obviously at a loss; why didn't you get any prior notice about a letter that seemed so important?
But then you open it up; and after you begin reading the neatly handwritten words on the stark white sheet of paper you find inside the envelope, a small smile paints your face and all your questions are answered.
--------------------
If anyone completely ignores the disclaimer on the envelope and ends up reading this, I’ll definitely lose my job. This is so impulsive of me to do. But...I’ve already committed, so that's that.
[Name], it’s Christmastime. Surely you’ve noticed that; hard not to. On holidays, families get together, friends have reunions, and couples spend time together. You and I, with our jobs and our work...well, I don’t think we’ll be doing any of that.
Usually I prefer it that way; I don't even remember the last time I took Christmas off. I worked during the Holidays, which probably doesn't surprise you. Sure, during Christmas season, I exercise and make time for myself, but nothing out of the ordinary. With no one to celebrate with, Christmas was just another day.
But now that you’re in my life, all of that has basically been thrown out the window.
I never thought I’d be saying this, but I’d take building snowmen or hanging ornaments on a Christmas tree with you over dealing with a pile of paperwork anyday. In fact, when I'm doing work, I'd rather be with you - I've been thinking like that almost 24/7 lately.
You mean more to me than you know; I’ve told you so many things no one else knows. With all that info you’ve got about me, you could probably get me fired on the spot in just a few sentences. And yet...I don't have any suspicions about you. When it comes to you, all my walls crumble and my guard disappears. The last time I was able to trust someone like this….was a long time ago.
I used to believe I didn't need any kind of partner in my life, especially not a romantic one. All my efforts and time go to Lungmen, and I had decided my life would be spent making myself better. But now when I think of the future...I think of you. How about that?
Our jobs get in the way of our personal lives, [name]; I thought I learned to live with that, but with you in the picture….I guess I really haven't. When the only contact I have with you for months outside of the hasty meet-ups we have on the weekends is sending you orders or receiving your intel, I get pretty exhausted.
Sometimes I wish we had met under different circumstances; met as Ch’en and [name] rather than superintendent and informant. Maybe then...things would be easier. Maybe then we could go on dates and celebrate Christmas together like a normal couple.
But this is what we got, so there's no point crying over it. And don't misunderstand me, I've ever regretted meeting you; but finding balance between being a lover and being superintendent isn't as easy as I thought it would be.
As your boss, your safety is my responsibility. But as your lover...so is your happiness. I want to make you happy [name]; seeing you happy gets me feeling all soft, so maybe it's self sabotage on my part, but that's besides the point. I don't know if I can promise that I’ll be the best girlfriend, or the best wife. I’ve never really thought about either of those things. But I’ll try my best for you; I’ll work harder every single day so that maybe someday, we can walk down the street holding hands and can get coffee or dinner without needing to worry about anything.
So...for Christmas, don’t send me any tacky gift. All I want is for you to bear me while I try to figure all this out.
That being said; something...I’ve been wanting to give you for a while should come with this letter. It might be careless, but take it. Think of it as a Christmas gift.
I have work to do, but if I manage to get it all done before Christmas, do you think we could meet? We could talk, or get something to eat; honestly? I don't care as long as I get to see you. With that gift I got you, I’m hoping seeing each other will be a lot easier for us from now on.
Have I really written this entire thing without tearing it into pieces and tossing it into the trash can? My heart is pounding out of my chest too…[name], you really will be the death of me.
This went on longer than I expected. Before someone interrupts me, I’ll just finish it up here. I love you, [name]. Sometimes things will get difficult - hah, sometimes maybe I’ll get difficult or maybe even you’ll get difficult, but I want this with you. I mean that. I know how cheesy and stupid that sounds, but don’t get too cheeky. I’m your boss before I’m your lover; so get back to work.
Ch’en
--------------------
After you finish reading the letter, your eyes are left filled with awe and your stomach flutters with butterflies. Ch’en wasn't bold in your relationship; but you understood why, you understood that she had to be that way. And so, considering all that's at risk, this letter was the last thing you were expecting.
Though your thoughts regarding the letter are still chasing each other around in your head, your eyes are drawn to the last thing inside the package - a cute little stuffed polar bear with a gift bow stuck on its head. You lift your brow; the stuffed toy is definitely adorable and a little amusing, but was that really it?
Of course not - you flip the bear over and notice there's a hole cut into its back. Careful not to mess up the stuffing or the fabric of the toy, you use your fingers to fish inside the hole; and from inside you pull a key and a folded slip of paper. You notice a tag is attached to the key; and though you’re a little lost at first, the purpose of the key becomes apparent after you read what's on the tag.
‘Ch’en’s address.’ The key isn't just any random key; it's a key to her apartment. Previously, she had been less than enthusiastic about you visiting her in such a personal place for obvious reasons linked to your jobs, but now it seemed that wasn't the case - well, considering she felt the need to hide it inside a plush toy, she’s clearly still practicing proper caution, but that isn't the point. The key is more than a key, it's a sign of trust, it's a sign of commitment; it's her best effort to show you how much she really wants to be with you - Ch’en really was trying her best for you, and it was more than you could’ve asked for.
You smile at the key and then at the stuffed bear before you read the words on the paper slip, which are written in Ch’en’s uniform penmanship, ���Merry Christmas [name]. Sorry, I didn't have time to wrap your gift all fancy-like, so a gift bow is all you're getting.’ Your eyes shine with amusement that slowly morphs into warmth at the words that follow, ‘If you hadn't figured it out already...the real gift is the key. I'm being careless giving you something like this but…'
You can almost hear her soft sigh when the note comes to a pause, 'knowing you’ll be able to visit me whenever you feel lonely, knowing that I’ll be able to invite you over to stay the night or watch a movie with me, knowing that maybe you’ll be there to greet me after a long day at work...it all makes me happy. Almost disgustingly happy.’ You read the last line of the letter, and then you find yourself smiling down effusively at the little key in your palm, ‘I don't need anything for Christmas. [Name], with you, I’m already the happiest I’ve been in a long time.’
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kageyamavibes · 4 years ago
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Stay | Kageyama Tobio
Word count: 3.3k
Genre: fluff
Characters: Kageyama Tobio x fem! Reader
~
Kei was your best friend since god knows when. Even if he was unbearable sometimes, you still stayed beside him and tried your best to understand his sudden change of attitude ever since Akiteru’s betrayal. You both grew up having each other’s presence, sleep overs were common along with endless debates on mathematics and science. You were always beside Kei, it was uncommon not to see you beside him along with Yamaguchi. 
Things have suddenly changed ever since You started tutoring Kageyama Tobio during your second year. Kei suddenly drifted apart, ignoring your existence, not even giving an explanation why he was suddenly shutting you out of his life. You asked for answers, even Yamaguchi didn’t know Kei’s sudden change of behaviors. It left you sad and empty for weeks, not even Yamaguchi could comfort you out thoroughly. 
Until Tobio suddenly gave you his spare milk while you were tutoring him, his eyes filled with sympathy which he could not fully express through his words. You gladly thanked him, tears started rolling down your eyes which left Tobio in panic. You assured him you were okay, which he hesitantly sighed in relief, his silence providing you the comfort you needed. 
“Tsukishima is a prick you know– I mean maybe not to you– but he’s always a prick to us.” Kageyama tried to explain, his cheeks burning red as he tried to make a decent conversation. 
“He’s also a prick to me sometimes, but this– this is the most hurtful thing he did to me. I-i mean, what have I done wrong Kags? Have I done something to make him leave me all of a sudden? Maybe I would end up having the same situation as Akiteru.”
Tobio stared at you, not knowing what to say or to do at your sudden outburst. His hands shakily found its way to your back, softly patting you as he tried to comfort you, he thought maybe his presence will make you feel better even if he wasn’t good with words. But the twisted feeling in his chest as he saw you cry made him more agitated with Kei.
“I-i will stay with you.” 
The two of you were both shocked at his sudden words, yet it made you feel better, the innocence and purity of his words assured you weren’t alone. 
• ₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❦ˎˊ˗
The two of you grew closer each month that passed, eventually forgetting your fight with Kei. Instead of walking home from school with Kei, Tobio was the one who walked you home and sometimes you even invited him for dinner or to watch movies along with Yamaguchi. Tobio became your support system, your closest friend, and even the shoulder you would lean on. He was there when you needed him, he became someone you talked to late at night, even sometimes falling asleep during calls, but he didn't mind, Tobio was happy he had you. Even if sometimes, you get sad whenever you would bump in to Kei who would give you dirty looks whilst waiting for him, Tobio would gladly treat you for meat buns before going home.
“Kags, guess what happened last night?”
“Hmm?”
“Kei and my family had dinner yesterday. It was super awkward, especially when Akiteru-san was asking why Kei and I weren’t talking.”
“Did you answer?”
“No, I quickly changed the subject.”
“Don’t tell me you were fretting.”
“I wasn’t. I’m really fine now.”
Tobio squinted his eyes, asking you again if you were really okay. You smiled pinching his cheeks assuring you were totally okay. 
“I have you, Kags. I’m happy that I do.”
The moment the words slipped from your lips, Tobio felt his heart explode in millions of pieces. The incredible amount of serotonin rushing through his body felt foreign, yet he found serenity within your words. In that moment, You saw Tobio smile genuinely for the first time as he reached for your hand that was still placed in his cheeks. 
“Don’t worry y/n, I promised I’ll stay with you.”
Warmth was one thing you described whenever you were with Tobio, his presence making you feel at ease even if you two sat in silence in the library. You Would occasionally steal glances while you were explaining the english vocabulary in front of him. The way he furrowed his eyebrows and how he would subconsciously be pouting whenever he could not pronounce it right gave you something out of the ordinary. 
• ₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❦ˎˊ˗
It all came by so quickly, Tobio became one of the candidates in the youth camp for all Japan once again. You were happy for him, he was also delighted by the news, he couldn’t stop smiling. The next day, you bid farewell as he rode the train to Tokyo. As soon as the train left, he already bombarded you with messages which made you chuckle. Tobio was sure protective, it made your heart do summersaults. Sometimes, it made you wonder how lucky his future girl would be, even if Tobio was awkward and shy, you knew he was a great guy anybody could fall for.
The both of you still texted all night, filling each other with what happened that day. Tobio was delighted and amazed how powerful the players were in the camp, he even told you he met one of the national top spikers, Sakusa Kyoomi which made him more grateful to be invited to his youth camp. One time, he even asked you to facetime him, so he could show you around along with his new found friend in camp who kept asking if you were his girlfriend. You can see Tobio covering his camera from embarrassment, yet you can see his cheeks tainted pink as he yelled to his friend. 
Of course you wished you were his, but you were just close. It pained your heart, thinking it could be an almost. Close, almost, it made you sigh from those words, yet you were thankful to have him now.
“Hey.” You turn around to see Tobio who stood behind you with two boxes of milk in his hands. Your eyes widened, glistening with happiness once you saw him. 
I miss you. You badly wanted to say those words, but the words never left your mouth. You just smiled at him, asking more details on the camp. He gladly told you more of it, and asking you what does goody two shoes meant which really bugged the hell out of him. You asked him why he was bothered with those words, he said his fellow setter told him he was a goody two shoes inside the court, like what Miya Atsumu told him during his first year.
You pondered for a bit, before trying to give hima subtle meaning of the words, which Tobio quietly listened to. You weren’t fit to give advice in volleyball, since you were not a player. But you did your best to try and soothe Tobio’s mind, which it gladly worked. 
• ₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❦ˎˊ˗
December came by, the cold chilly weather occasionally sent chills in your spine, yet you paid no mind as you handed Tobio his birthday gift. His blue eyes sparkled along the sky, thankful to see a new pair of exclusive knee pads along with a blue sweater in the gift box you have given him. He looked at you with a smile on his face, not sure how to thank you from the gift he received, you chuckled pulling him in a hug. Tobio felt himself froze, flustered at your sudden actions. Seconds later, he found himself easing at your touch, finally hugging you back tightly.
 He wanted to melt in your embrace, savouring each moment while he was holding you in his arms, not wanting to let you go. He wasn’t good with anything but volleyball, but he hopes he was good at showing how important you were to him, how he wanted to protect your smile so it would never fade. He craved for your attention, your touch, your presence. 
Kageyama Tobio felt he had fallen in a well deep with his love and was falling deeper every moment. Yet he was scared, scared to find you leaving him since you can’t return his feelings. He was scared he would spend his last remaining days in high school without you in it. It was the first time Tobio felt scared of losing something besides his family and volleyball.
New year came by quickly, you visited the shrine along with Tobio who wished for your happiness along with winning the nationals. You on the other hand, wished for the same. Tobio’s happiness along with securing a good win in their nationals. Nationals was right along the corner, but you were completely bummed when your entrance exam for the University you wanted to go to was also the same day as their game. Still, Tobio smiled saying he would definitely dedicate his games for you too. 
“You know, someone asked me out.” 
You felt your heart sunk at his sudden confession, yet you still kept a shocked expression plastered on your face.
“Really?”
“I declined.”
A sense of relief washed over you when Tobio declined the person, yet you feel bad since you wanted that person to be you.
“Why did you decline?”
Tobio seemed taken back with your sudden interrogation, he felt his cheeks heat as he looked away “I have something else in my mind, I–uhm, like volleyball.”
You chuckled at his response and you were about to tease him when you crashed over someone. You quickly apologized and looked up, shocked to see Kei alongside Yamaguchi. 
“Ke– I mean— Tsukishima, Happy New Year.” You acknowledged 
He huffed rolling his eyes, “Yeah, Happy New Year or whatever.”
You quickly saw Tobio tense at Tsukishima’s attitude, so you quickly excused yourself  to leave with Tobio, yet you felt a strong grip at your wrist, pulling you back. You looked at Tsukishima who was holding you tightly which alarmed Tobio, asking Kei to let go of you.
“Relax, Lover boy. I just want to talk with my best friend.”
Before anyone could say another word, Kei pulled you away from Tobio and Yamaguchi, finding a good spot away from the crowd. When you both stopped, he quickly released his grip. His hands finding his way to your head, patting you like he always did before. You shivered in his touch, not being able to speak to him in a year at most made his presence felt foreign.
“What do you want Tsukishima?”
“I just want to talk.”
You scoffed at his remark, glaring at the lanky blonde in front of you. “Talk? You wanted to talk? Well about damn time, Kei!” You yelled.
“It’s not a good time to be livid y/n–“
“Oh well it is, Kei! You fucking left me in the air– I was your best friend right? You didn’t explained to me why you left, you just left me in despair—“
“You know why? Because I like you! I restrained myself from you because I like you, and I hate seeing you around Kageyama. Now, I feel useless for letting us drift apart instead of manning up and telling you how I feel!”
You were taken back with hpKei’s sudden confession, his cool headed vibes were now filled with rage and embarrassment. You looked at him confused, shocked, and speechless. 
“I feel stupid for all of these, I’m sorry for hurting you–“
“Don’t even bother, I’m fine now.” You sighed looking away from him. 
“Because you have Kageyama.”
“What does Tobio have to do with this?” You snapped harshly at Kei, glaring at him. 
“He took my spot as your best friend.” Kei rebutted 
“Oh now you're jealous.” You sarcastically laughed, shaking your head in disbelief. “I cannot believe you! You were the one who started this mess!”
“That’s why I said I’m–“
“If you were really sorry then why did you hurt her you dumbass!” You turned around, shocked to see Tobio fuming as he walked towards you, wrapping his arms protectively around you. Kei clicked his tongue, glaring at the both of you.
“Whatever, go and prance around with your lover boy.” He dismissed, leaving the area along with Yamaguchi who was tagging behind him.
Tobio still had his arms around you which calmed you down, even in the cold weather, his warmth felt it was already summer. You can hear him murmuring frantically, worried Kei did something bad to you, yet you smiled hugging Tobio tightly which caught him off guard. He can feel his cheeks betraying him once again as he shyly tightens his hug. 
“Funny thing, Kei was so jealous of you.” You mustered. Tobio’s eyes widened in curiosity, asking you what he meant by jealousy.
“Well, he said you took his spot as my best friend and he had feelings for me for some reasons he was just trying to make himself feel better I suppose.”
“Oh, still it was his fault for being such an ass.” Tobio responded. You chuckled releasing yourself from his hug, tugging him to walk with you which he gladly obliged. 
The both of you walked silently, hands were both dangling inches away from each other, yet no one dared to reach each other’s hand. Scared for the uncertainties, to fall in the well of love without being sweeped right back up. 
• ₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❦ˎˊ˗
You and Tobio didn’t see each other a lot due to his training for the nationals and your review for your entrance tests. Yet, Tobio would still send you texts after his training and would walk you home whenever they left early. You would sometimes give him bento for him to eat, which he was thankful for. In return, he would buy you your favourite drink along with his milk on your walk home.
The both of you wished each other good luck the day before nationals and your entrance test, Tobio even gave you a good luck charm which boost your confidence in passing your tests.
“I know you can do it, you’re really amazing– like in tutoring me of course, so do your best.”
Arriving at the main arena, Tobio couldn’t help but to stare at the large ceilings letting the familiar sensation overwhelm him. He was about to play in a stage where he could be recognized and get scouted and achieve his dream of becoming a pro volleyball player. Also, Tobio wanted the best for his team, and he’s going to give his all. Hinata was talking to the first years, telling them the first time they went to the nationals when Tsukishima approached him unwillingly, with the unpleasant glare in his eyes.
“What do you want?” Tobio asked 
“You can have her. I don’t really care.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Idiot, it’s pretty obvious that you like her. You look like a love sick mad man whenever she caughts you off guard.”
“I am not.”
Tsukishima rolled his eyes in annoyance. “I know she likes you back, I’ve grown up with her so I know whether she likes the person or not. You should confess before graduation. Just keep in mind once you hurt her, I’ll be taking her back.”
“You should try and talk to her again, I’m pretty sure she misses you.” Tobio was shocked with himself, not expecting those words to come out from his mouth. Tsukishima looked at him, hope glistening in his eyes for a second before he smiled nodding at him.
Yamaguchi soon called the team, asking them to line up as the opening ceremony was about to begin. They quickly obliged, Tobio looked at the stands and silently hoped you would be able to watch his game in the afternoon.
Time is always your greatest rival in every test, you can hear your sweat dripping from your forehead from all the pressure from the hardest questions, pushing yourself to remember all the formulas and all the answers related to the questions. Silently hoping you would be finished before the time runs out. You promised you will pass the tests, you will certainly achieve your dreams and live the best life you wanted to fulfill. You wanted this test to end so badly, so you will be able to see Tobio alongside Yamaguchi, Hinata and Kei in their last spring tournament.
As soon as the bell rang, you quickly handed the paper in. Dashing away from the University grounds, wanting to get the ride to the arena as soon as possible. You looked at your watch, for sure they have already started the game and were already nearing conclusion. You prayed to the heavens above you will be able to watch their game today.
The game was tough enough to stress Tobio, it was already the third set of the game, and the team they were playing against was slowly catching up in their scores. It exhausted him, yet he still endured all of it. still giving his best in Volleyball. He was about to lose it when he heard your voice which shocked him to the core. He immediately looked up to see you waving at him frantically screaming out his name along with the crowd. It felt like all the exhaustion in the world left his body, re-energizing him once more. So he did his best not to let their opponent catch up on them. With every spike the hitters hit from his toss, with every dump, and save they had, it was with pure passion. It was enough for anyone to be in awe with the Karasuno team. 
With the last score that Hinata made, everyone erupted in cheers as Karasuno had their first win of the day. Tobio smiled in victory as Hinata bounced up and down bragging how he managed to get through the blockers at the last point. He was about to kick Hinata when you suddenly tackled him in a hug.
“You know, I’m quite sweaty.” He stated as you looked up to him with a smile on your face, he quickly softened seeing you smile at him proudly. Your lights of the arena brought out the colors of your eyes.
“So what? I’m hugging our Kageyama Tobio, soon to be world famous Kageyama Tobio.” You bragged which made him more flustered. “I hope once this is all over, you would still remember me right?”
The question made Tobio freeze in his spot, what do you mean by your words, of course he will remember you. He planned to have you by his side until he dies. He wanted you to be a part of his world ever since he met you and there was no way he would change that. 
“I vowed to you that I would stay by your side right?” Tobio assured you, his fingers caressing your face softly. You stared at him with adoration, you wanted to scream out I love you right in front of him without any regrets, yet your voice betrayed you and kept silent.
He suddenly grabbed your arm softly as he led you outside of the arena, finding a secluded area for the both of you. Once you both stopped he cupped your cheeks, his warm fingers caressing your face softly as he stared in your eyes.
“Y/n, I-i hope this simple gesture would make you realize how much you meant to me.” He softly says before he softly pressed his lips against yours. Tons of butterflies exploded in your body as you closed your eyes, savoring Tobio’s moist lips in yours. It was the first time Tobio kissed someone, and he was glad you were his first kiss. It felt right kissing you, as if this was the right moment to do so. You both shared a long passionate kiss, where the longing and craving for months ended. You both finally let your emotions be vulnerable with each other. You finally let yourself to free fall in the depths of love.
As you break away, Tobio was already blushing madly, whispering sorry to you. You shook your head leaving one last peck on his lips as you pressed your forehead against his.
“I’m so thankful for you Tobio, I’m so thankful.”
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bittywitches · 4 years ago
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Baby Girl | G.D [Part Three]
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Part One | Part Two
A/N: Y/N is having a hard time dealing with what happened the other night, but when an unexpected visitor shows up at her school the day seems to turn around :)
Thank you so much for the love I’ve gotten for this series, it really means the world <3 Thanks for reading!
Word Count: 6.2K
The ringing of the school bell at the end of the day was always music to your ears, but today especially it felt like a gift as you rushed to your locker to gather your things. The entire day had been an absolute train-wreck for you, starting with you forgetting your cue cards for your business presentation that morning, to accidentally destroying half of the atom diagram you’d made as a favour to one of the freshmen science teachers (leading to a very embarrassing apology and a promise to fix it by the end of the week that you definitely did not plan on keeping), ending with you completely bombing your physics test last period, effectively raising your anxiety to a new record high. 
This, of course, wouldn’t be happening in the first place if it weren’t for the fact that your brain really wasn’t here right now. Your mind had been wandering the entire day, only really thinking about one thing from the moment you woke up:
Grayson.
And it would be different if they were just pleasant daydreams. No, you were used to daydreaming constantly during school. This was different. This was a constant pounding in your head, just a voice constantly feeding into your anxious thoughts, effectively ruining everything for you today. Ever since the night before, you’d been worrying non-stop about what had happened at the twins’ place. The entire car ride home, you kept dodging questions that your sister asked you, trying your best not to have a mental breakdown in the passenger seat. You were, frankly, mortified by yourself. In your mind, you had effectively ruined your friendship with Cameron, ruined any sort of relationship you could ever have with Grayson, and were sure that this was going to end up with your sister finding out what you had done. So when Cameron texted you that morning seeming like nothing out of the ordinary was going on, you were nervous. It was able to help you rationalize the situation a bit. Okay, so maybe Grayson didn’t go and tell his sister about your breakdown. But still, there’s no way you’d be able to face him again. And you hated that so much, you loathed yourself for ruining something that felt so perfect to you, You hated that you’d fucked up any chance of you and Grayson having any sort of relationship at all. 
Either way, your heart immediately sunk again that morning when your sister told you that she’d be at work again, so Cameron would be the one to come pick you up. Hearing this, you, of course, tried to ignore the impending feeling of doom that crept over your shoulder throughout the day, which now felt like you were carrying tons of bricks on your back instead of the textbooks you were now loading into your bag before closing your locker door. You sighed, pressing your forehead against the cold metal as you took your phone out.
There was a notification:
Cameron D.
Heyyy, so there’s been a slight change of plans…
Reading those words only made your heart felt like it was going to shoot up and out of your throat. What could she mean by that?
You pressed the message and quickly responded to her.
Y/N
Idk if I like how that sounds…
Throwing your backpack over your shoulder. you headed for the staircase as you watched the three little dots bounce on your screen.
Cameron D.
Turns out my friend is hosting a get together later tn for her coworkers but she completely forgot n now she needs my help to get everything ready
Cameron D.
Sooooo I asked one of the boys to pick you up! :)
The tip of your shoe immediately caught onto the last step, vaulting you forward literally almost getting you to eat dirt, but you caught yourself. And it wasn’t because you weren’t looking where you were going (although that did happen frequently as well) but because you genuinely felt your fear that had been trickling up your spine all day finally come up and grip your throat with no warning, catching you completely off guard. Thank god you’d already gotten to the bottom of the stairs, since you were quite sure that you would’ve fallen face-first down them and broken a multitude of bones.
You hastily texted her back, making your way out the front door of the school.
Y/N
One of the boys??
When your foot landed on the curb you stopped abruptly and looked up to see you’d already reached the road.
Cameron D.
Yea, my brothers?? One of the twins lol did you forget them already
You would’ve laughed if it weren’t for your overwhelming anxiety right now.
Y/N
Which one of the twins?
The fact that she wasn’t texting you back immediately literally felt like it was giving you a heart attack.
Y/N
Cameron?
Y/N
Which twin???
Y/N
CAMERON
Y/N
ANSWER ME
“Y/N?” 
You looked up, and you could feel your heart actually stop beating. A shock of cold went up through your body when your eyes connected with those familiar hazel ones, the ones that you’d spent the past fourteen hours thinking about non-stop.
You spun around quickly, your back towards the immensely eye-catching baby blue Porsche, and the figure who was looking at you threw the window. You were panting hard. You pressed a hand to your forehead, trying to keep your head from spinning. It’s not him. It can’t be him.
You then heard you phone ding again, and you looked at your screen:
Cameron D.
Grayson, why?
You dropped your hands to your sides, breathing heavily and trying to blink back the tears that were starting to form in your eyes from all the thoughts rushing through your head at once.
“Y/N, it’s Grayson!”  His deep voice was so loud in your ears and you could see the eyes of other students passing by clinging to the bright car, then drifting their eyes towards you when they saw who the man inside the vehicle had his attention on. You gripped the straps of your bag tightly and pressed your eyes shut, trying to concentrate on anything but the eyes and the stares and the voices and that feeling-
“Um, Cameron said she wasn’t able to pick you up.” He said, quieter this time. But it sounded distant to you, and you were trying your hardest just to focus on the sound of your deep breathes and nothing else because you really didn’t feel like collapsing for a second time in front of him-
But thinking of that only made your heart start beating faster again and your breaths were coming shorter and shorter. Hastily opening your eyes, you reached into your sweater pocket and fumbled for your inhaler, quickly bringing it out and taking a puff. 
Your breathing eased, and your head felt like it was clearing up from all of the anxiety-inducing thoughts. You breathed out, stuffing your inhaler back into your pocket (you’d never let it leave your side again). One last look at your phone made you bite your lip in annoyance.
 “Thanks a fucking lot cam-” You muttered, turning around to finally face the one you were sure you’d never be able to face again.
Grayson’s furrowed eyebrows finally relaxed, a wary but soft smile growing on his face. “Hey.”
Seeing his face again didn’t help the buzzing of nerves inside of you. He looked amazing. Looking at him now, it made you realize that you’d missed his face. His lovely locks of hair, his gentle brown eyes, his chiseled face and his short stubble and his pink lips. You’d spent the whole day trying to push the image of him out of your head but seeing him now felt like the dam holding back all of those thoughts and emotions had broken and were now flooding your brain. It felt wrong to look at him like this when he still felt like a stranger.
You breathed out slowly once more. “Hey.”
“Cam sent me.”
Your feet finally began to move, and you walked over to his car. “Yea, I know.” You pointed to your phone.
“Ah.” 
You hesitated when you reached the side of the car, debating over if whether to sit in the passenger or back seat.
“I promise I won’t bite,” Grayson said, unlocking the car door with a sheepish smile.
You bit the inside of your cheek, reaching for the passenger seat door handle and pulling it open. You sat down gently in the passenger seat, placing your school bag at your feet before closing the door.
The drive was quiet for a while, a million thoughts rushing through your head at once. There was a part of you that wanted to reach for him, grab his face in your hands and kiss him like you did the night before. Sure, you were scared. But the feeling that rushed through you when his lips were connected with yours was something that was incomparable to anything else. But then there was that other part of you; that nagging, intrusive voice that won’t stop reminding you that you had fucked up. You embarrassed yourself. You shouldn’t be here, in his car, after everything you’ve done.
You bury your face in your hands, rubbing your face and your eyes.
Just get through the car ride.
“Hey.” You looked up, a bit startled, and saw Grayson giving you a quick look before returning his eyes to the road. “You okay?”
“Oh, yea, just had a bit of a rough day at school-”
“No, I meant,” He ran a hand through his hair then rested it at the back of his neck. “About yesterday.”
“Oh.” Your face flushed. The trees and cars outside the window suddenly seemed like they were a lot more interesting than anything inside the car. You rubbed circles on your knees, trying to keep yourself from freaking out any more than necessary. “Y-yea. I’m okay.”
“That’s good.” He had one arm gripped on the steering wheel, very obviously showing off his arm in his tshirt from the vein leading up to his bicep from his hand. “Did you get home okay? I was going to call you, but I didn’t have your number-”
“Yea, got home fine.” You said, cutting him off abruptly. He didn’t say anything, but you could see him in the front mirror looking at you through the corner of his eye. A few more minutes passed before he said anything else.
“Um, Y/N.” It felt like he was pushing the words out of his throat. “If… if you felt like I was pressuring you yesterday to- to do anything, I’m REALLY s-”
“No! I-It was nothing like that.” You rushed to say, and he looked at you with a worried expression. As if he didn’t believe you because of how fast you’d responded.
You sighed. “It’s okay, I promise.” You could visibly see the weight being lifted off his shoulders when he slumped and let out an audible breath of relief. 
“I…” You stuttered. “I really wanted to.” You muttered quietly.
Grayson’s ears tinted a bright shade of pink at that.
“I-” You said louder now. “I’m really, really so-”
“I thought I told you to never apologize to me.” He stopped you, raising an eyebrow.
A smile finally broke through when he said that.
“Um..” You looked at him now, less afraid to meet his eyes. “Thank you for… for taking care of me yesterday.”
He now returned your smile, happy to finally see your lovely face look happy. “There’s nothing to thank me for.”
You laid back in your seat, sighing in content as you did so.
“Hey, are you busy with anything today?”
You thought about it. Technically, yes. But right now, you really didn’t feel like doing anything else except be here. “No, why?”
“Can I take you somewhere?”
You tilted your head at him.
“It’ll be fun, I promise.”
You bit your lip, unsure of what exactly he had in store for you.
“Please?” His arm came down from the steering wheel to gently lay it on your thigh, his gentle eyes pleading with you.
“Okay.” You said it with no hesitation in your voice, because you wanted to. 
He smiled, taking his hand away, disappointing you a little bit but exciting you nonetheless. 
“Great.” He turned abruptly at the next intersection, and you giggled at the excitement he wore on his face.
“So, you were saying something happened at school today?”
----
“Grayson, where are we?” You stared intently out the window eyes roaming over the golden sand and the rocky terrain.
Grayson stepped out of the car, and walked around to your side, then pulled the door open.
“El Matador State Beach.” He held a hand out for you, and you took it so he could help you out of the car. He closed the door behind you. 
“You’re telling me you’ve never been here before?” You shook your head, eyeing the beautiful birds flying overhead.
“When did you move to LA again?” He began walking, and he gently pressed a hand to your back to guide you along. 
“My freshman year. So…” You looked at him, noticing that his hand still lingered. “Wow, I guess it’s been four years.”
“Four years and you’ve never come to this popular tourist spot?”
You rolled your eyes. “If it’s so popular where are all the people?”
“Most people tend to float towards Paradise Cove, or Manhattan Beach. You know, like your more conventional, Instagram-y kind of beaches.”
“Ah.” You liked the way the grainy sand crunched beneath your sneakers. The salty fresh air filled your lungs, emitting a sigh from you.The ultramarine-blue water was mesmerizing, and the waves playfully splashed up against the rocks. A large rock cliff faces lined the other side of the beach, the beautiful greenery tumbling over it really adding to the whole vibe of the place.
“C’mon.” Grayson gently grabbing your wrist brought your attention back to him, heating your face a bit as he tugged you closer to the shoreline towards an array of tall rocks jutting out of the shallow water.
“Up there?” You questioned quietly.
“It’s a great view from there,” He silently pleaded with you again, and you just couldn’t say no to him. The nod you gave him made a big smile grow on his face. 
“Careful,” He cautioned, helping you step up onto the smaller rocks down below, following close behind you. When the rocks started to jut out a bit more, you were warier with your steps, almost slipping. His arms came up to gently hold your waist, steadying you as you reached the flat surface at the top facing out towards the water.
You both sat down on the rock face, dangling your legs over the sides as you looked out over at the water. He was right, the view was spectacular. The sun shined beautifully at the water, it glistening as it came and washed up against the rocks, tickling both of your feet. It was beautiful. And it made it just that much better that you were sitting there with Grayson.
You looked over at him. He laid back on his hands, smiling wistfully to himself as his hazel eyes shined in the sunlight, calm and at peace. He was just as breathtaking as the rest of the view. 
You wanted this moment to last forever.
You bit your lip, that nagging voice becoming louder in your head again. Even if things were okay between you both, it didn’t resolve what happened last night. It didn’t feel right, and it was resting in a funny way in your stomach. And it made sense, you literally just walked into his home and then broke down in his arms a few hours later. You had scared him, and that was unfair, because you barely knew him. Yet you felt like it was more than that. You felt like you owed him something.
“I get panic attacks.” You blurted out. Grayson turned his head to you, tilting it questioningly.
“What?”
“I, um,” You cleared your throat. “Sometimes I get panic attacks, and they can sometimes lead to asthma attacks.”
His eyes widened. “So it is my fault that happened last night, isn’t it-”
“No!” You grabbed his arm. “No, I promise. It’s not your fault. I just wanted to tell you, because… well because I usually don’t collapse in people’s arms the first time I meet them.”
His eyes softened, and he chuckled. “I mean, it would be very memorable if you did.”
You smiled, darting your eyes away. 
“Do you… do you get panic attacks often?”
You turned to him with a somewhat uncomfortable look, which lead to him quickly following that up with “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I was just askin-”
“No, it’s okay.” You smiled at him reassuringly, and he returned it. “They’re not too frequent, but if I get really stressed or freaked out they can happen.” You fiddled with your fingers in your lap. “My asthma’s not actually that bad, it’s really just my panic attacks that make it a problem. I don’t usually have asthma attacks too, though-” You added hurriedly. “It’s just when I don’t have my inhaler it adds to the stress, you know?”
“Actually, yeah, kinda.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “I have asthma too.”
You opened your mouth in surprise. “Oh.”
He chuckled. “Yea. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but I always keep an extra inhaler in my car. Just in case.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s why I got a bit extra freaked out yesterday. I know what it’s like. It’s scary.”
“Yeah, it can be.” You gently pressed your head against his shoulder, effectively causing both of your faces to heat up. 
A few minutes passed by, just you and Grayson listening to the sounds of the ocean and the birds.
“Okay, so tell me.”
You lifted your head up to meet his eyes. “Tell you what?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Anything, everything.”
You furrowed your eyebrows at him in confusion, and he chuckled nervously as he turned his body to face you, one leg folded on the rock, the other dangling over the side.
“You know, where you grew up, what you like to do… anything.” He smiled. “I wanna get to know you.”
You could feel that fuzzy feeling returning to your chest. “Um,” you started, tucking a hair behind your ear. “I’m not really that good at talking about myself. What do you wanna know?”
“Everything.” The look in his eyes was so genuine you were honestly scared of what he was asking.
You giggled nervously, “that’s not really specific, Grayson.”
He laughed. “Okay, how about I ask you questions then? But no matter what you have to answer it.”
“No matter what?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t know…”
“Ok, fine. But I’d really like it if you did tell me.”
You smiled. “Okay, ask me a question and we’ll see if I’ll answer.”
He bit the inside of his cheek as he smiled at you. He couldn’t get enough of you.
“Okay, um…” he rubbed his hands together as he thought. “Where'd you grow up?”
“New York.”
He waited for you to elaborate, but huffed when you didn’t. “Very specific.”
You giggled. “Sorry. Alright, um…” You turned your body so you were facing directly him. “I was born in Buffalo, and it was the only place I ever lived before coming to California. My family actually used to live in Toronto.”
“You’re Canadian?” He said a bit incredulously.
You scoffed. “Don’t act all offended.”
His face reddened. “No I wasn’t-”
You laughed. “I’m kidding. I’m not, but my parents and my sister are since they’re citizens. My sister was born in Canada, but my parents moved to Buffalo when she was around three for my mom’s work. Apparently my dad wasn’t too optimistic about the move, but…” You shrugged. “It happened. And then a while later I arrived, and we didn’t move since then. I’ve actually lived in the same house my whole life until Angela and I moved here.”
“Really.” Grayson tilted his head slightly, his eyes wandering your face. 
“What?”
“Nothing, just, seems like someone liked that wouldn’t just up and decide to move all the way across the country.”
You rolled your eyes. “Right, it’s not like you and Ethan didn’t move to LA when you were fourteen either.”
He chuckled. “Okay, fine. I’m assuming your parents are staying here with you and your sister...” 
You snorted. “Please. That is the last thing either of us would want.”
He furrowed his eyebrows at you. “And why’s that?”
You licked your lips. “No reason.”
“Y/N…”
“What? You know, two sisters, leaving for the City of Angels, who would want their parents here to spoil all the fun?” You chuckled awkwardly.
He raised an eyebrow at you now, and you knew he was calling your bluff.
You sighed, leaning back on your hand. “Okay, my parents aren’t really the best people.” You rubbed your arm gently, breathing out as you look out over the water.
A tingle went up your arm and down your back when you felt Grayson’s hand gently rest on yours. Your eyes went to his, and you saw that they were soft now. Understanding.
“You really don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
You shook your head. “No, it’s okay. I want to.” You breathed out again. “My parents are really conservative types, and we don’t really agree on most things.” Grayson nodded as you spoke. “And it’s never really been a big deal for the most part, since I’d just avoid talking to them, but…” 
You coughed. “Okay, so my sister has always wanted to be a chef or a baker or just something in the culinary industry.”
“Oh right I hear Cam saying something about her having to deliver a cake or something the other day.” His thumb was gently rubbing the back of your hand now. It seemed like he didn’t notice, since all his attention was focused on you, but for you, it was all you could think about.
“Y-yea. Well, originally, there wasn’t any plan of her ever getting into that sort of career.”
“Oh?”
“My parents wanted her to become a lawyer, like my dad. Sure, she wasn’t the hugest fan of it, but she was fine with doing what she loved in her spare time, so she was okay with majoring in Law.”
“So what was the problem?”
You sighed. “Well, Angela’s gay.”
Grayson’s eyes widened a bit. “Oh.” 
“I’m only telling you because she’s really open about it and you’d probably figure it out as soon as you met her anyways.” The wind kept blowing hair into your face, but Grayson brought a hand up to help brush it behind your ear. 
“...And because I trust you.”
His hand froze by your ear when he heard those words, and he tried to suppress the giddy smile that was very obviously growing on his face. You couldn’t help but return it, rolling your eyes as his hand fell away into his lap.
“I’m happy to hear that.” You nodded. “So… what happened?”
“Right well… Angie decided that she was going to come out to Mom and Dad. I told her it was a bad idea; not because of like- I mean it’s because it’s our parents. I know them and I knew how they would react, but she didn’t want to believe it. She, for some reason, was very believing that they would be supportive.”
“...But they weren’t.”
“Nope. I’ve really tried to block out the memory of that conversation; I told her that if she was going to tell them that I would at least have to be there. But it wasn’t great.” You bit your tongue gently. “They said that they wouldn’t have something so disgraceful living under their roof. They basically kicked her out of the house.”
“You don’t mean they literally-”
“Well in my opinion it would’ve been less embarrassing if they did. My mom actually slapped her across the face, and my dad has already gone downstairs to go get her a suitcase to pack her things.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I really wish I was.” Your voice had gotten softer now since you were trying to make sure it wouldn’t tremble when you spoke. “My mom then went off on some random tangent about how Angela was terrible and never even cared about her studies in the first place and it was probably because she was off somewhere tarnishing her name and- and when my dad got back he threw the suitcase at her and yelled at her to take all of her garbage with her.” Tears begin to prickle in your eyes. “That they didn’t want anything that would remind them of her.” 
“That’s so awful.” Grayson’s face looked pale, like someone had come and drained all the colour from his face. He was horrified that someone could ever do such a terrible thing to their own child.
“Yea.” You sniffled, bringing a hand up to rub your eyes. “And then I started yelling… I don’t even remember what I said, I was so mad.” The hatred you had for your parents was beginning to bubble up inside your chest again, after you had suppressed it for so long. “And before I knew it I was going to get my own suitcase too.”
Grayson’s mouth opened a bit. “That’s why you left?”
You laughed dryly, but there wasn’t any humour in it. “I wasn’t going to live in a house that didn’t love my sister for who she was. And I definitely wasn’t going to let her leave on her own. She’s too good for that.” Hot tears were now streaming down your face. 
“Y/N..” Grayson’s hand came up wipe the tears from your cheeks. 
You chuckled. “I’m sorry. You’ve known me for what, two days and you’ve already seen me cry twice.”
“Nope, try again.”
Your nose scrunched up. “Wha-” But then you realized you’d apologized to him. Again.
“Right, um…” You sniffled again. “Thank you for listening and… for caring.”
He smiled. “I’m always here.” You were going to bring your hands up to rub your eyes, but you finally realized that your hand and Graysons were now intertwined, gently resting on the surface of the rock. Grayson’s eyes followed yours, and the colour returned to both of your faces when you realized what you had both subconsciously done.
He chuckled. “So, um,” He rubbed the back of his neck. “So you guys just decided to come to LA after that?”
“Well, kind of, yea. After we got kicked out, we didn’t really have anywhere to go. Luckily Angela had some cash so we were able to stay at a hotel that night. We got to talking and she ended up just being like, fuck it, there’s no reason to keep doing Law since the only reason she was doing it was for our parents. And she knew that I’ve always wanted to go to Caltech, so…” You shrugged. “Here we are.”
Grayson shook his head, laughing.
You giggled. “What?”
“Nothing, I just..” He shrugged, laughing more. “I never knew.”
“Well yea, how could you?” He looked at you, the familiar softness in his eyes. “I mean, you just met me.” 
Your eyes widened when you realized that. “Wow, you’ve just met me, and I’ve told you more personal stuff than I think I’ve ever told anyone.”
“I guess I’m just lucky then.”
You giggled.
“So,” He said, looking out towards the sky. “Graduating soon. Excited?”
“Very.” 
“I bet that’s gonna be a fun day. But…” He turned his head towards you. “I guess your parents aren’t coming, are they.”
You shook your head. “I don’t think I’ve talked to them since last summer, so considering they didn’t get an invite… yea. Probably not.”
“Well, at least you’ll be able to spend that day with your sister.”
“Yea, well, no.”
“No?”
You sighed. “Angela booked a really big catering job for that day months in advance.”
Grayson’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? Did she not know?”
“She didn’t until I told her. She told me that she would cancel the job, but I told her not to. It’s a really good one and I know she’ll make a lot from it.”
Grayson’s jaw really did drop this time. “I can’t believe you.”
“What?” 
“It’s your graduation! You’re serious just going to be there by yourself?”
You shrugged. “She’s the only one I’d even want there. But the job is important. Besides, it’s not like I’ll be totally alone. All my friends will be there.”
“Yea, with their families.”
“Can you not ruin this for me?”
Grayson chuckled. “Okay, my bad. It is a really nice thing you’re doing, though.”
You rubbed your arm. “I’m not that much of a saint. She said we’d go out for ice cream when she gets home that day.”
Grayson laughed, and you smiled, letting go of his hand for a moment, emitting a soft sound from him in protest, but you just as quickly scooched over closer to him so your shoulders were touching, then reached for his hand again once more. He graciously took it, interlocking his fingers with yours as you laid your head on his shoulder. 
“Grayson?”
“Yea?”
“Thank you. For today.” He laid his head down on top of yours, and you smiled against his shoulder. 
“It was my pleasure.” He turned his head slightly to press a kiss to your head, then rested it back again. 
You inhaled the vanilla scent of Grayson mixed with the lazy water now sloshing below the two of you. The calmness washing over you was the best feeling. This was the most relaxed you had been in a long time.
Suddenly your phone vibrated in your pocket. You took it out to see that it was a text from your sister, asking where you were.
“Ugh.”  You sat up, shoving your phone back in your pocket, but making sure not to let go of Grayson’s hand.
“What is it?” His hair that had fallen into his face seemed to make him look even more gorgeous than usual.
“It’s Angela.”
“Shit, didn’t realize how long we’d been here, sorry-” 
You brought your other hand up to his face, pressing your index finger to his lips. “Hey, this is a two-way street. I shouldn’t be hearing any apologies either.”
He smiled against your finger, only nodding in response. You grinned, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek when you let your hand fall away.
“Okay, let’s go.” As Graysons stood, he gently pulled you up. The way down seemed even more precarious from the top, but Grayson made sure not to let go of the strong hold he had on your hand the entire way down. 
After you’d made your way down, you were ready to let go of his palm, but his grip only tightened when yours loosened, letting you know that he didn’t plan on letting go. You smiled to yourself as you both walked back towards the car, swinging your arms between each other.
“Y/N. We’re here.” 
You gently cracked your eyes open to see that you guys were parked outside your apartment building. Hastily going to wipe any drool off your face, you bent down to retrieve your bag from your feet.
“Sorry didn’t mean to fall aslee- “ You shook your head. “Thank you. For dropping me off.”
“I’m just glad I got to spend time with you today.” The look in his eye was so genuine, so gentle and sweet and loving all at once. You couldn’t get enough of those baby browns.
“Yeah. me too.” Your eyes darted down when you saw Grayson lick his lips. Unknowingly to you, he’d been darting his eyes back over to your sleeping face throughout the car ride, absolutely in love with your blissful, beautiful expression.
He leaned down closer to you, not too close to insinuate anything but close enough for you to know that he was wanting.
“Can I kiss you?” he whispered in his gravelly voice, eyeing your soft lips.
You nodded, a small smile on your face as he leaned down, connecting his lips with yours.
The kiss was soft, knowing but cautious. It felt like the first kiss you both had shared, but this time the euphoric feeling felt more like a constant warmth throughout your entire body; it was familiar, no longer scary. You knew this, and you wanted this. He wasn’t a stranger anymore. 
You leaned in further, pressing your lips a bit firmer to his, knowing that he wouldn’t go any further without knowing you were okay. Your hands came up to find the neckline of his t-shirt, gently playing with it in your fingers as his hands floated towards your cheeks to cup your face. 
The feeling he gave you was unmatched to anything else you’d ever felt. But there was still something lurking in the back of your mind. Something shouting and screaming and yelling that you’re going to embarrass your self. You’re going to get hurt. You’re going to make a fool of yourself. Yelling at you to run, to hide, to get out-
You suddenly pulled away from Grayson, lowering your head gently.
“Y/N?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I-”
“I really mean it this time though. I am.” You looked up at him to see his worried and confused expression.
“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, leaning away from you.
“No.. I just.” You put your head in your hands. “I’m scared, Gray.”
“Scared? Of what?”
“I don’t know, this. All of this.” 
He didn’t seem to understand.
You took on of his hands and held it in both of yours firmly. “Grayson, what happened yesterday, I-”
“We don’t have to do any of that stuff, I promise-”
“No that’s not it.” You exhaled. “It’s just- this is all so, so different and new and it’s exciting but- I don’t know if I can trust myself, Gray.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, what if I get a random panic attack again like yesterday? I don’t want to be fearing that all the time. I don’t want to have that thing in my head constantly warning me. Or to always be waiting for something to go wrong. It’s so scary.”
“But-”
“And there’s just so much going on; with school, and my sister, and god if Cameron found out-”
“You wouldn’t have to deal with her. I’d take care of it.”
“Gray.”
He stared at you with such an intense look, with so much longing and desire. 
What were you supposed to do? Of course you wanted him. You wanted him so badly, it was insane how much you did. But it was absolutely crazy to you. You’ve known him for two days. You didn’t know how these things worked. 
  And a part of you still didn’t believe it was true. That this boy sitting in front of you actually liked something about you, much less liked you as much as you liked him.You didn’t trust it. It didn’t make sense to you. How could it be possible? He was Grayson. You were you. 
 And the voice in your head kept telling you that there was no way this would work. You were so convinced that he would find something about you, or your life, or literally anything, and that would be it. He’d realize he was wrong. He’d realize that you weren’t what he wanted. Or he’d realize you were never what he wanted in the first place. Or worst of all; he wouldn’t find anything. One day he’d just realize that he didn’t want you anymore. He was done with you. It was also some illusion. He would leave. And you would lose him.
You couldn’t go through that again.
Grayson sighed, now taking your hands and holding them in his. “Yeah. okay.”
“I really am sorry.”
He shook his head. “Try again.”
“Grayson, I am.”
“Nope.”
“I-”
“Nooope.”
You both cracked a smile.
“Fine. Thank you for being so understanding.”
He brought your hands up to his lips and kissed your knuckles. “As long as we still get to hang out, I’m okay.”
You grinned. “I’m down for that.”
Your phone buzzed in your pocket again, and you checked to see it was another text from Angela. 
“Shit okay, I really should go.” You slung your backpack over your shoulder, and opened the door. Before you stepped out, you looked over at Grayson, who’s eyes were still following you. You bit your lip, then quickly bent forward to press a kiss to his cheek. 
You were only so strong.
He grinned as you scurried out of the car, shutting the door and waving to him as you ran into your apartment building.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
tags: @5secondsofcnco​ @yourkidsfavbabysitter​ @melodiesforari​ @coxxkaty​ @pumpkiinpasties​ @graysavant​ @joyrivh​
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applejuizz · 4 years ago
Text
irrational goals x and x mindless illusions
after years of relentless searching, kaito has finally managed to find ging. as the two hunters pass the evening in the mountains, ging tells a story of his past. characters: ging freecss, kaito (kite) pairing(s): ging x gon’s momma (in the past!) no warnings word count: 1.880
pretty much my headcanons on what happened to gon’s mother.
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“For all those years that I’ve known you, Ging-san, and I would’ve never guessed you have a kid.” Ging’s laughter, loud and brash bounced off the cave walls and scattered along with the howling winds. “And I thought you knew better than to make assumptions,” the hunter replied wittily, his large, amber stare glinting with amusement.
Kaito huffed out a short-lived smile and took a generous bite out of his freshly-roasted fish. He chose to let the crackling fire fill the silence as he masticated, carefully pondering over his next words.
“You’ve left one hell of a legacy behind, you know. He’s got your willpower and plenty of potential.” In response, Ging grunted through a mouthful of fish. “He’s good with animals as well. He’d make an excellent hunter.”
Kaito raised his gaze slightly to catch a reaction from across the vivid flames of the campfire. Maybe it had been just a product of the lights and shadows constantly dancing on Ging’s features, but he could’ve sworn that for a brief, insignificant moment, his master’s petrified expression had twitched. Now, whether it had been the ghost of a smile or a grimace, he couldn’t tell.
“Looks like my son did quite the impression on you,” remarked Ging, swallowing the last of his bite. “He is definitely something. I’m surprised how you were never curious enough to visit. Poor boy grew up thinking his parents were dead.” “Good.”
The sheer finality in the hunter’s tone made Kaito’s head instantly shoot up to stare incredulously. “Don’t look at me like I’m crazy, Kaito,” said Ging before his disciple could conceal his surprise, “hunters are greedy people. They seek adventure, despise routine and never settle. Bringing a kid into this world is a big and dangerous deal that we couldn’t bear.”
Then why did you do it in the first place? The question was entirely plausible, yet it died on Kaito’s tongue before he could voice it. It wasn’t his place to ask. Perhaps the boy was the result of an ordinary one night stand - that was quite often the case. Besides, he couldn’t imagine Ging lingering in one place long enough to fall in love and willingly father a child. Then again, he hadn’t thought it possible for the carefree adventurer to even be a parent at all, and he’d been proven wrong. In all truth, predicting Ging Freecss’s actions was a game of chance, similar to Kaito’s Crazy Slot, and the white-haired hunter wasn’t sure he liked that resemblance.
“Was his mother a hunter as well?” As he spoke, Kaito watched Ging’s posture stiffen, his usual relaxed attitude forgone. On second thought, it might’ve been more suitable to ask about his reasoning. “Who said anything about her? What did I tell you about assumptions?!” “You said ‘we’.” “What?!” “When you talked about bringing a kid into this world, you said ‘we couldn’t bear it’.” “As in you and me and every other fucking hunter in the world. Now stop nagging me.”
From the years he’d spent as his disciple, Kaito had learnt a lot about Ging as a hunter - extremely gifted, strategic, adventurous -, as well as a person - stubborn, unpredictable, carefree and at times, awkward. However, he had rarely, if ever got the chance to see a truly flustered, caught off-guard Ging. It took a lot to surprise him. Yet it seemed that the question Kaito had deemed innocuous had managed to utterly baffle the rogue hunter. He watched in awe as Ging’s features shifted through various phases of surprise, outrage and awkwardness, his foot nervously tapping the ground and his voice cracking with indignance. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.” The only response Ging gave was a graceful, yet expressive burp. He deliberately avoided meeting Kaito’s eyes, busying himself with wiping clean of meat every little fishbone.
By the time he spoke again, the fire had considerably dimmed. “She is a hunter. Part of the association that helped me create Greed Island.” Kaito was leaning against a smoother portion of the wall, hands behind his head, eyes closed in contemplation. When his master spoke, he immediately turned to look at him. The black-haired man was staring pointedly at the dying fire, scattering the ashes with a stick in a halfhearted attempt of keeping it aflame. “Ging-san, you don’t have to talk about this if-“ “Just shut up and listen, ‘cause I’m not telling this story twice.”
Kaito settled back against the stone wall and listened.
“As I said, she was one of the creators of Greed Island, so we were both pretty young when we met- 18, I think. She was the friend of a friend, she heard of our project and she wanted in. We were fine with it, since she was a strong Nen user and her contribution has made the game what it is today.”
The cave entrance was growing darker by the minute as nightfall crept in. They would have to get some more firewood.
“While we were busting our asses off scouting the island and thinking up cards, we got to talkin’ and you could say we grew... close. She was pretty and as charming as they come, simple-minded, and always up for an adventure. And I was a bit of an impressionable kid.”
“We wanted to travel together. She was passionate about myths and languages, I liked ruins. A match made in heaven,” Ging chuckled bitterly. “Now, don’t get me wrong, ‘twas nothing official. We couldn’t be bothered to label anything. But one thing led to another, and all of a sudden we were a couple of dumb nineteen year-olds with a baby on the way.”
So, Gon was a mistake. Kaito had figured that much.
“Obviously, we had to push back our plans - we wanted to try and explore the Dark Continent eventually - and we had no idea how we were going to raise a kid together when we didn’t even know how to define our relationship, but we never thought about giving up Gon. Not once. Soon after we finished up the game, Daina gave birth. May 5th, 1987. Five months later, I was urging her to come with me on an unofficial, undocumented expedition near lake Mosubi.”
The sheer name of that place gave Kaito the shivers as he listened attentively to the other hunter’s story.
“She didn’t really want to go. Childbirth had changed her. She began to realize the risks we’d have to take, the high stakes, the danger that was awaiting and how inexperienced we really were. But I was having none of it. I thought I was invincible, and I thought I’d always get what I wanted.” There was a pause, and Ging cleared his throat almost awkwardly.
“So, I threatened to leave by myself. Woke up that morning and started packing. She got scared, like I knew she would; there was no way to stop me, so she eventually gave in.”
“You pretty much manipulated her into following you,” Kaito concluded. Ging continued to stare into the fire for a while before answering, and his disciple was almost sure he’d managed to piss him off again.
“Yeah. I guess you could say that,” he answered calmly. “Anyway, we left the baby in-game, summoned a Panda Maid to care for him and left. Long story short, something... beyond my understanding happened on that godforsaken shore and...”
“Did Daina...?”
“No! I mean... she disappeared. I have no idea what happened to her. I couldn’t look for her. It’s a miracle I even got away.”
Kaito let out a breath he hadn’t even known he were holding.
“And before you start to think I’m some delusional dumbass, the moment I got back, I went to Greed Island and summoned Double Postcard to the Dead. I’ve been doing it annually since then. No response so far.”
Ging needn’t explain more. Kaito knew Greed Island fairly well from the time he had attempted to clear the game, and therefore he had plenty of knowledge on the card system. Double Postcard to the Dead is a card which, if summoned, allows you to send a message to a deceased person of your choosing. If the person is truly dead, you’ll get a response within the next day.
“Anyway, after all that, I’d realized a couple of things.” Ging raised his pointer in the air. “First. I was going to need at least a decade of training, experience and qualifications to even pass lake Mosubi’s shoreline, and second,” he raised another finger, “I couldn’t raise Gon on my own. It was too dangerous to pursue my goals with him around, and he would’ve been better off living a normal life.”
“So you sent him off home.”
“And lost custody in court when Mito decided to sue me. The rest is history.”
There was silence as Kaito pondered over what he’d just heard. He supposed he could understand the reasoning behind Ging’s decision to leave Gon in someone else’s care, but he could’ve at least visited. Kaito was no king of morality, yet he couldn’t have lived with himself knowing he had a kid out there that knew nothing of him.
“I’m sorry.”
Ging’s eyes switched back to Kaito. He no longer looked lost in space as he made a dismissive hand gesture, very much characteristic of him.
“Don’t be. It was for the best. I would’ve been a crappy father either way.” There was humor in his tone and the white-haired hunter laughed cordially, but he could tell his companion’s words were more than just a joke.
The more he thought about it, the more obvious it became. Ging had decided to utterly avoid his son not only for his safety, but also out of a selfish, yet understandable reason. He couldn’t have possibly bore the embarrassment of looking Gon in the eye and telling him his mother had gone missing simply because he had dragged her into his irrational goals and mindless illusions.
But you won’t be able to avoid him forever, Kaito thought to himself. If that boy is anything like you, he won’t drop dead until he finds you. I’ve seen the look in his eyes. You’re in for one hell of a ride, Ging.
“Yo.” He was awoken from his reverie by the hunter’s deep voice. “I’m gonna go get some more firewood. You coming or what?”
Kaito had barely noticed that the sky had gone completely dark and the cave was only lit by what little was left of the campfire. He could barely distinguish Ging’s features anymore as he stood at the entrance.
“Sure. I wasn’t expecting you to spend the night here though, Ging-san.”
As they walked along the abrupt forest path, wind howling at their ears, Ging scoffed. “You and your damn assumptions.” He grumbled and pointed at the sky. “No stars. Can’t you smell the thunder? It’s gonna rain tonight.” Kaito doubted a little storm would stop Ging from leaving if he really wished to do so, but he said nothing. “Oh, and drop the honorific.”
Kaito must’ve looked extremely surprised because Ging spoke again, a smirk creeping on his face.
“Don’t look at me like that. You found me, so you passed your test. We’re equals.”
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ofheroesandvillains · 5 years ago
Text
Do Better 2 - Tony Stark
Tony Stark x daughter!reader
Words: 3.7k Warnings: None? Some angst - tried to make this one a little happier than the last though! It’s a rollercoaster. Summary: I was very surprised that people liked the first part as much as they did, and I got a few requests to show how Tony and Mom met, and Tony and Kid’s relationship a few months later. Hope it isn’t trash, if it is, let me know!
Going to be honest, I’m in a big writing slump. I feel like everything I write is coming out wrong and it sucks. Hoping this one is alright, but I did do most of it on a good-ish day. Thank you so much for being patient, I hope everyone is doing well!
(gif not mine!)
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There were times in his life where Tony really had to admit that he’d be nothing without Pepper Potts. She was the type of person who’d do her job and do it well regardless of the circumstances. Hell, most of the time she’d do his job too. But these were the early days, long before he’d realised her importance, and even longer before he’d realised his own feelings for her.
She’d only just started working for him and somehow she had already managed to drag him out of his workshop and into his worst nightmare. He’d never liked the theatre and he didn’t care much for dancing either. He wasn’t the type to sit still for hours on end, and he never quite understood how his mother managed to persuade his stone-cold father to always go with her. 
Howard probably just liked having an excuse to stay as far away from him as possible, but that didn’t matter anymore.
What did matter was that it had been over an hour and there was absolutely nothing that could keep him in his seat any longer. Pepper be damned, he’d kiss ass another time and in another place - preferably one with an open bar. 
Just as he started easing himself out of his seat, he saw her. Graceful, beautiful…entrancing. They all were, and if you asked him what was so special about her in particular, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. There was just something different about her. It could have been luck, or fate, or maybe even just random chance, but something had brought them together that night.
Maybe, he thought…maybe he could stick around a little longer.
--------- 
What would later become the most important day of his life, ended much like any other.
“Y’know…you’re not half bad.”
She glanced over her shoulder. If his presence surprised her, she didn’t show it. Plenty of celebrities hung around to meet the performers after a show. Plenty of press, too. 
“Oh? Tony Stark: closet choreographer.” He could hear the smile in her voice as she returned to packing her bag. “They left that one out of the tabloids.”
“We all make mistakes,” he shrugged. “Speaking of, how ‘bout a drink?”
She turned around, brows arched high.
“With you?”
“Preferably. I mean-“
“No.”
His dark lashes fluttered. “No…?”
She laughed at his wide-eyed look. 
“I’m starving. If dinner’s on the table then you’re on, otherwise…get out of my way, Mr Stark.”
His mouth abruptly shut and he looked far too pleased with himself. 
“Dinner it is. Dessert’s on me, literally, figuratively…any way you want.”
She rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. 
“Mr Stark! A photo for the Times?”
“Big smiles,” he murmured in her ear, an arm looping around her waist with the speed of an experienced red carpet walker. She laughed at the thought, her eyes scrunching shut before the flash could blind her. 
Pepper would remember it as the day he almost cost them a new partnership, and the tabloids would immortalise it as ‘Playboy’ Tony Stark’s latest conquest. But Tony, well, he remembered it for what it was. The day his greatest creation was unknowingly conceived.
---------
“You got your lunch?”
“Yep. Pepper packed it.”
“Homework?”
“It’s all there, dad.” 
Tony didn’t fail to notice her amusement as he pulled up to the school entrance. He didn’t always have the time to take her himself, but this was a special occasion. And, if he was being honest with himself, he kinda enjoyed it. Driving his kid to school…there was something extraordinarily ordinary about it, and he liked it. 
The car door slammed shut and she made her way around to his window.
“Are you going to be home when I get out?” There was a hopeful spark in her eyes.
“Not today.” The spark fizzled out. “I’m picking you up myself, birthday girl.”
She rolled her eyes but there was genuine happiness in her smile.
“See ya later, dad.”
He smiled at the spring in her step when she turned to head inside, and he just couldn’t help himself. 
“Have a good day, kiddo! Love you!”
She almost jumped at the sudden and unnecessarily loud shout - and she wasn’t the only one. Her eyes flickered over the students openly gawking at him, and Tony chuckled at the scowl she sent his way. Seeing Tony Stark was like seeing a unicorn in the wild, and whispers were already buzzing around her. 
“You let your old man know if the other kids are mean to you!” 
“Dad.”
Teenagers, Tony thought, so self-conscious. 
“Alright, alright. Get out of here.”
He watched her rush to the front door, pointedly ignoring the stares that followed her. In time, she’d gotten used to them, as much as he wished she didn’t have to. 
---------
School became hectic as soon as the announcement was made. Tony Stark’s long-lost daughter had returned to him, and she was attending Midtown High. Being the ‘new kid’ was bad enough, she thought, but being the famous new kid was chaos. 
She thought a sense of pride would come with the announcement - and it certainly had - but what was it they said about grass being greener on the other side? She quickly realised that her dad hadn’t really been ashamed of her...he’d been trying to protect her. From the cameras, from the fame, from everything he thought ruined him. 
The other kids were nice to her, of course they were. But she went about her business as if nothing had changed. In a way, nothing had. She’d been a Stark from the beginning, but it would be a lie to say that her newfound popularity wasn’t getting on her nerves.
She was almost envious of Parker all over again, this time for his anonymity. She didn’t realise how much she would miss just being another face in class, another mundane student. Now there was a title attached to her that she’d never be able to shake. Tony Stark’s daughter. Ironman’s daughter. 
At least Parker didn’t have to deal with Flash hounding him each day about the company and ‘what’s it like to have Tony Stark as a father?’ And ‘are you an Avenger by default?’ And ‘who’s stronger, Thor or Captain America?’ 
But if there was one good thing that came of it, it was that Peter now had a new and entirely unexpected ally.
---------
“Hey, Parker? Parker!”
Peter shoved his textbooks into his backpack and threw it over his shoulder with a sigh. Ned gave him a sympathetic glance, but they both knew it was best to just humour Flash in these moments. And that’s exactly what Peter did when he finally turned around, anxiously clutching the strap of his bag.
“You got a date for Lucy’s party this weekend?” asked Flash.
“I’m uh, I’m not going.”
Flash’s lips curled in triumph. “What’s the matter, Parker? Not cool enough for an invite?”
“No, he’s just hanging out with Tony Stark this weekend instead,” Ned blurted out, earning a sharp glare from his best friend. 
“Dude,” Peter hissed under his breath. 
He knew Ned meant well. In his own way, Ned was trying to stand up for him, but these things always had a tendency to back-fire on them.
Flash scoffed. “Yeah, and I’m going caroling with Hulk this year.”
By now a small crowd had gathered, students bustling to their lockers in preparation for their next class. A few of them watched the exchange and laughed. It was nothing new, but they had nothing better to do.
“Just admit it, Parker,” Flash drawled. “You’re too much of a loser to-”
“Hey, Peter. You still coming over for brunch this weekend? Dad was wondering.”
The whole hall came to a sudden stop and Peter’s eyes widened along with Flash’s. Where Flash went out of his way to bother him, she did all she could to avoid him. There were times where he wondered just what he’d done to make her dislike him, and he even considered asking Mr Stark. But he thought better of it when he realised just how stupid that idea sounded. 
Flash’s eyes flickered between them, his mouth open in surprise. The rest of the student body was staring at Peter, waiting for some kind of answer. Ned gave him a not-so-subtle nudge and the silence was shattered.
“Y-yeah. Uh-huh. Definitely, this- this weekend. The brunch…” He nodded so fast he’d put a bobblehead to shame.
Another nudge from Ned had him clearing his throat.
“I’ll be there,” he smiled, all nerves and gratitude.
And she flashed him a signature Stark smile in return, full of hidden mischief and a touch of reassurance. He reminded himself to breathe.
“Great. Feel free to come along if you’re not busy, Ned.”
Ned’s brows shot up and he shared a disbelieving smile with Peter. The crowd in the hallway parted for her like the Red Sea and all anyone could do was watch as she marched away without a second glance. Maybe, just maybe, her newfound fame wasn’t all bad. 
---------
“Can I take it off yet?”
“No.”
“But-“
“Nope.”
“Dad.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Fine,” she huffed, arms crossed. 
She had no doubt that beyond the blindfold, her father looked all too pleased with himself. Let it be known that Tony Stark was excellent at planning surprises, because she had absolutely no idea where they were going, or if they were even still in New York. 
He’d been fretting about her for weeks leading up to this day, and now that it had arrived, she’d been showered with all the gifts she’d refused to let him buy for her throughout the year. But she wouldn’t deny him this one chance to spoil her. It was the first birthday he got to spend with her and he had F.R.I.D.A.Y send a very strict warning to pretty much everyone with his cell number.  
If anyone so much as thought about ruining their day together, he’d make their life a living hell as only Tony Stark could. Even Pepper, who’d done her best not to laugh at the time, endured a half-hearted finger-wagging session the night before. She hadn’t taken it to heart, in fact, she thought it was one of the sweetest things Tony had ever done.
He was trying so hard to honour the words that still echoed in his mind, ones he’d never forget.
Stop letting her down…
He’d be the first to admit that maybe he’d taken it a little too far. Despite personally driving his daughter to school and trying to make it home in time for dinner each day, Tony was a bit of a mess. These were uncharted waters and he didn’t exactly have a prime example in his father to know how far was too far, but he thought it was going quite well. 
There was a happiness in her eyes that hadn’t been there when she first arrived, a newfound comfort that allowed her to spend weekends in his workshop with him, asking question after question about his latest project.
If she was happy, then he was happy. He was doing his best to be the dad she deserved, and Pepper had reassured him that he was doing a good job.
Unfortunately, and understandably, her happiness had dipped. A month after transferring to the Tower, her mother had passed. Tony had known that pain before, he’d known the loss and suffering. But seeing his child, the one person in the world he do absolutely anything for, experience that same thing…it hurt him more than he ever thought possible.   
“Dad?”
He was mercifully thrown out of his thoughts. “Yeah?”
“Can I take it off now?”
“Sure.”
She perked up. “Really?”
Tony smirked. 
“No.”
---------
“Okay, a little to the left…not that far left.” Tony’s hand shot out to keep her from tumbling down the stairs. 
This blindfold thing didn’t seem like such a great idea in hindsight. Getting up the stairs had taken far too long for someone as impatient as Tony Stark. 
“Now?” She asked, not even bothering to hide her exasperation. 
“Just gimme...” Keys jingled. “A sec.” A lock clicked. “Alright, just a few more seconds.” A hand wrapped itself around her elbow and steered her inside the room. 
The door slipped shut behind her, and her dad was unusually silent.
“Alright, kid. You can take it off now.”
Her eyes were moist and bleary when she finally slipped the blindfold off, but she froze. 
She knew these floors. She knew the walls and the equipment too, freshly painted and newly bought, but familiar nonetheless. Too many tears had been shed in recent months, but she couldn’t help the sting in her eyes nor the pressure at the back of her throat. She could only stare, wide-eyed as her feet unconsciously led her toward the wall of mirrors she’d looked into every weekend since she was a child.
There, right on the wall above, was a framed photo. She didn’t need to ask when it was taken, there was only one possible answer. Her mother’s smile was radiant, her eyes scrunched in a laugh as the man beside stared down at her with a smile of his own. They made for a beautiful pair, no matter how temporary their acquaintance. She’d never seen this photo before, never thought one existed. 
But in that moment, in her mind, they were right where they belonged - together.
A shuddering breath left her and she tried to steady herself. 
No more tears.
She forced her gaze away.
By the window was a desk, it wasn’t there before but the desk itself was irrelevant. The small box on top of it was wrapped in matte red wrapping paper and a shiny gold ribbon. She cracked a shaky smile and glanced over at her dad. He was lingering by the doorway, letting her have this moment to herself. 
He offered her a soft smile in return.
Her legs hadn’t felt this weak in a long time but they made it. There was a small piece of paper, folded and tucked beneath the ribbon.
The writing was unforgettable, elegantly slanted, if a little shaky. She realised then, that it must have been written near the end. Short and to the point. The sting in her eyes disappeared, the dam broke, and he was there in a flash.
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
I love you so much, 
Mom xxx
“It’s alright.” A hand rubbed her back gently. “I got you.”
He’d comforted her before, and though he was more familiar with the protocol now, he’d often get chatty in situations like this - bringing up anything and everything to lessen the weight of the moment. It was usually enough to distract her until she fell asleep on rough nights. He’d joke that her old man’s ramblings could put her right to bed, and he liked to think that she appreciated his efforts. 
But this time…this time there was no avoiding the conversation that had to be had.
“She told me about this place, y’know? Said it was your favourite place in the world.”
“It is.”
Her words were muffled, by her tears or by his shirt, probably both. 
“Also said you wanted to be an instructor when you grew up.”
“I do.”
She pulled away from him then, the sleeves of her sweater pressed to her eyes as she took another shuddering breath. 
“Then you’re gonna need a studio, huh?” He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. 
Her hands finally came away from her bloodshot eyes, and he had to remind himself that there were some things he couldn’t protect her from, things that were out of his control. Loss, unfortunately, was one of those things. 
“Last one, I promise,” he said with a guilty little smile, and the small red box in hand. 
She huffed a laugh, the sound thick in her throat. Two keys twinkled at her when she removed the lid, freshly cut and in much better condition than she remembered.
“Happy birthday, kid,” he murmured softly.
A sweet and appreciative smile tugged at her lips, and she threw her arms around him again.  
“Thanks, dad. For everything.” She drew in a deep breath. “You’re the best.”
Smartest, sleaziest, cockiest…they were all titles he’d boasted in the tabloids during his younger days, but he never thought he’d earn the best. Not from anyone that mattered. 
“Come on,” he said, ignoring the slight prickling in his own eyes. “I left cake in the storeroom fridge. Don’t tell Pepper.”
---------
The weekend had come around quickly and she’d completely forgotten the invitation she’d extended to Parker and Ned, until her dad had instructed her to send Spider-boy to him as soon as he arrived. They were okay - friendly enough and better than most of the other kids at school. But that didn’t mean she wanted them there. 
The elevator chimed. Too late. 
“H-hey, hi.”
It was Parker who spoke, Ned was too busy staring at the walls and ceilings and…literally everything, to form any words. 
“Hi?” She absentmindedly greeted, watching as Ned wandered off in some sort of trance. 
“Hi.” Parker smiled, awkward and somewhat dopey, a match for his breathy tone. He realised that she realised that he was staring, and with a flutter of lashes, that familiar look of panic crossed his features. Then he was back to the stuttering, stammering, mess she knew him to be.
“Thanks for, y’know, helping out with Flash. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem. To be honest, I didn’t think you guys would actually come.”
“We weren’t going to - not because we didn’t want to!” He quickly added, rambling on like water gushing from a cracked dam. “I did, we did. I just know we’re not exactly friends - and that’s totally fine, really - and I didn’t want to bother you, I just wanted to thank you for- for your…” He trailed off with a long, drawn-out breath, and wide-eyed mortification. “Help.” 
It sounded more like he was asking for it.
“Right…” She nodded, drawing out the word in a way that made his cheeks flood with warmth, before jerking a thumb over her shoulder. “Dad’s in his workshop, said something about an upgrade if you’re interested.”
“Oh! Great. Thank you, I um, I’ll just…” He pointed in the same direction, and wondered why a small smile had slipped onto her face. Then he realised he was staring again. Peter cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away with a sheepish smile. “Heh, sorry. Thanks again!” 
“Peter?”
He spun around.
“It’s the…other door.”
His cheeks flushed once more and he rushed out of the room before he could embarrass himself further. 
“What’d I miss?” Ned smiled obliviously.
I have no idea, she thought with a shake of her head.
“C’mon, Ned. Let me show you around.”
---------
When she left the house that day the fridge had been bare. The tickets were in her dad’s pocket, or in Pepper’s purse, and a smile was on her face.
As soon as the music began, she forgot about the ache in her knees and the butterflies running rampant in her stomach. She’d never been so nervous for a performance. But then again, no other performance had ever been as important to her as this one. The excitement of having her father there, watching her dance for the very first time had long since evaporated, and all that remained were her nerves and a twinge of sadness she tried her best to push down. 
It wasn’t the first recital her mother hadn’t been able to make it to, but it was the first one since she’d passed. 
The morning had been spent in tears. When she thought of dancing, she thought of weekends spent in their studio, and road trips across the States from competition to competition. The afternoon came. It forced sadness from her mind and welcomed uncertainty. 
Her whole life had been spent wondering what her father would think of her - if someone as brilliant as Tony Stark could ever be proud of someone as normal as her. She didn’t like business, and she didn’t want Stark Industries. She was certain he knew this by now, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about it. Instead, he’d bought her old dance studio and slipped into front row seats while she hyperventilated backstage. 
Her stress, it seemed, was for nothing. That was usually how things went.
“Incredible!”
“You think so?”
“Sure do. I couldn’t look away, right, Pep?” 
Pepper nodded with an indulgent smile.
“It’s the longest he’s been able to focus on a single thing since we met.” She shot Tony a pointed look that softened when she looked over at his daughter. “Congratulations, sweetie, that was an amazing performance.”
“Thanks, Pepper!” 
“So what now? You gotta go sign autographs, take some selfies with the fans?” She laughed and gave her dad a nudge. Tony smiled down at her.
“Now, I go get changed and then you buy me food.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He nodded, watching as she turned to head backstage. “Hey, kid?”
“Yeah?” 
She looked back at him, and Tony couldn’t help the intense feeling of deja vu that came over him. She looked so much like her mother in that moment, and though he knew she was a whole half of him, it only really hit him then. Pepper gave his waist a reassuring squeeze, always attuned to his every thought. 
Something swelled in his chest, pure and whole and unlike anything he’d ever felt before. He always thought he hated his father, but now, as he stood there with her looking up at him like his opinion meant the world to her…he couldn’t help but feel sorry for old Howard. Had he ever felt the way Tony felt now? Had he ever looked at his own son and wondered how he ever could have gotten so lucky?
Whatever he was originally planning on saying was forgotten. 
“I’m so proud of you.” 
Her smile was blinding and that was all he needed.
“Thanks, dad.” 
--------
Thoughts?
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