#my friend said that today actually LMAO
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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage
#eliot posts#dunme#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao#but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here#i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying#tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number#(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a#plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time#and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars#and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75#the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´；ω；｀)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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Not to start shit, if you know me you know I'm a "ship and let ship" kinda gal and saying this I truly have no problem with James/Orla as a ship it harms no one and plenty of people like it, I like people having fun... that said...
I have never understood the common argument that James/Erin as a ship makes no sense and James/Orla should have been the ship instead. Often one of the arguments is that James/Erin wasn't set up while James/Orla was and I'm sorry... what? James/Erin have at least one ship heavy episode each season as well as plenty of background moments and several significant moments in Erin's Diary.
Even if you ignore all the background moments of the two holding hands, being inside each others personal space, the times where they're clearly matching and whatnot. There is at LEAST the implication that Erin would ignore her supposed crush for James, that she cares what he thinks, that Erin is James's type, that they're aligned in creative values and match each others energies, that Erin thinks he's handsome, that James thinks she's beautiful, that she can't imagine her life without him, etc.
James/Orla have some touchy moments... that's kinda all they have as far as romantic coding and I don't see how those two hugging in the Season 2 finale is somehow more significant than what setup James/Erin have throughout all the seasons.
Honestly, while I can see Orla liking James - you could build a case for it and convince me even though I see Orla as ace/aro in my own personal headcanons... no one has ever been able to give me a convincing argument for James liking Orla back. It kinda feels like you have to ignore that he never has a reason to fancy Orla back and just project onto him that.
Which, again, go off if that's your bag I think their friendship is fun and I could see making a ship out of it, but the common argument is that the SHOW makes a better case for James/Orla and like, no? No it really doesn't? It's just not main girl/main boy and some people really don't like that trope or Erin as a main and I think that if you say the show didn't set up James/Erin well and you argue the show would have been better with James/Orla based on what's in the show, you just might not like Erin very much?
I've also never been able to make sense of the argument that James/Erin is somehow the trope that 'guys and girls can't just be friends' like, is that not also James/Orla? Y'know, besides that Orla isn't a girl. They do use she/her during the show time period though and some people who argue this think Orla is a girl, they just think they're not THE girl. So somehow it's better even though it's the same thing.
Basically what I'm saying is that shipping is fun and we all oughta do it. Every ship besides the obvious ones is potentially fun and I'm down for it, but there is one ship the show was setting up and we all know what that ship was and I think it would be better if we all were honest about it.
PS: "James was gay the whole time!" Truthers, if you made it through this post somehow I'd like to offer a compromise: James Maguire is the most bisexual coded male character in media history we can all win here.
#derry girls#james maguire#jerin#erin quinn#Orla McCool#james x erin#erin x james#not tagging Orla and James as a ship because I'm not starting shit it's literally just addressing a common fandom thing I see a lot#when I track discussions of the show#funny enough I do actually have a stream-of-consciousness ficlet in my best friend's dms#where very early on Orla gives James a 'Valentine You're a Horse' card and he overthinks what it means for a week:#Orla: I like horses.#James: Wait so does that mean you like me?? Cause you said I'm a horse -#Orla: *grabs his face* James. I really like horses.#James: I... okay.#Orla: So we understand each other. *walks away*#And then they never discuss it again for like ten years until his wedding to Erin where Orla says they are glad at least Erin won him#since their attempt at wooing didn't work#James: YOU DID LIKE ME BACK THEN OH MY GOD!#Orla: I TOLD YOU I LIKED HORSES HOW MUCH MORE CLEAR COULD I HAVE BEEN. WE WOULD HAVE NEVER WORKED. YOU DON'T GET ME.#This is how I see any romance between them going hypothetically: Orla making an overture James just doesn't get and nothing happens lmao#this was stream of consciousness so if this post is rambling and incoherent be nice to me I'm on my period#I am fog brained today
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FIRST EVER ARTIST ALLEY TABLE DONE!!!
#everyone who came to the table was so lovely and so many of our friends came to support as well ;o;#day 1 was so busy and i was so stressed and had completely lost all social energy by lunch RIP#but i felt much better today actually AHA prob bc it was just less packed in general and also i had worked out a better system#for organising my stuff#overall it was rly cool to try a new experience tho ive literally wanted to table since high school ;o;#hopefully next time i will be less stressed and can actually talk to other artists lmao#we did get to meet some super amazing artists at the end tho but that was like. 2 out of the whole con#one of them gave me a print for free even tho he bought one of mine n i kept trying to offer to pay but he refused RAHH#also shoutout to the person who bought an adlers bookmark and said they were an atsumu hater but cosplayed atsumu yesterday. help
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my blood boils everytime the girl who loves coping me talks about how she’s starting her psych degree soon
#like why????#today we went to this tea and she was there and kept talking about her psych degree#the one she doesn’t even have 😭😭#so i was talking to my other friend and loudly said ‘it’s not about the money you actually have to be passionate about it too’#i hope she heard me lmaooo#i even said ‘you should study psychology for the right reasons’ lmao i was feeling unhinged today#komal talks
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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My afraid-of-romance ass has just been asked by another regular customer for my number and the stupid thing is that again I do think this guy is kinda cute and I really probably should say yes
#the fear tho lmao#what am I afraid of? I have no fucking clue#this is why I’m still questioning my sexuality lol like what am I? do I even actually like guys? do I like anyone?#in an existential spiral at the moment#but honestly why do they always ask for my number#like dude just give me yours and let me make the decision when you’re not right here in front of me#but I felt bad telling him no today just because the last time a customer asked and I said yes I almost immediately regretted it#and then that didn’t work out because I thought he was too young#young* and now he still sometimes comes by and I just feel awkward about it#maybe I should turn to Facebook and see if I can find him because I have set an age limit for myself and I really don’t want to entertain#anyone younger than that#but I’m……… I know I’m like never active in here anymore#but I just needed to talk about this somewhere#because any of my coworkers would probably tell me I’m being ridiculous or they’d just seriously keep questioning why I keep saying no to#customers that hit on me and my best friend would probably also not get it#idk y’all I just needed to rant about it/talk about it#anyway I’m definitely gonna stress over this until tomorrow#and I’m gonna feel really bad if he stops coming by
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Wow. What a rollercoaster.
#okay context time!!! this might get a bit long!!#okay soo first thing that happened like almost an hour ago: i accidently got the owner role in a server because the owner was giving a diff-#role to someone else and that was funny#everyone was kinda freaking out but i didnt actuslly take advantage of it i just enjoyed the image perms while it lasted#but like literally right after that.#actually first a little context:#me n my friend who we will call Em were talking abt a drawing she made#said drawing had some bit of gore in it#and i mention in these words specifically “sorry guys big fan of body horror art” and this message that started everything “gore 💚💚😍😍”#i remember vaguely that i got timed out and person who we will call B tagged M [M doesnt like gore] and called me a freak#suddenly EVERYBODY starts poking fun at me abt it with dumb additions to my messages#but TODAY. TO-FUCKING-DAY. M BRINGS IT UP AND THEN THE ENTIRE GEN CHAT STARTS FUCKING AROUND WITH ME#AND M FUCKING GIVES ME A “gore lover” ROLE AND PEOPLE WERE CHANGING MY NAME TO DUMB SHIT#UNTIL SOMEONE MAKES IT SO I COULDNT CHANGE IT BACK so i just fucking LEAVE LMAO#and this was going on for like 20 minutes btw#but M was begging me to join back blah blah blah i tell her it was actually pissing me off blah blah blah i join bac#n then they stsrt bullying Em for being yhe convo starter#sad face. but Em said that she doesnt care abt it and she just wanted to get everyone off my ass ::'3 ty Em ily/p#but uhhh yeah i think that was it#i dont even like gore that much anyway#i jst said it for the funnies#i think body horror is cool as a concept [i mean like take the rot from rain world as an example] but i feel uncomfortable drawing it n stuf#FEW. finally done okay bye#chiip is a huge bug enthusiast#rant in tags#tw gore mention#?#alr
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shout out to the employee at costco who complimented my soda tab earring and when they saw i was visibly excited asked me questions about it. i may not know you but i love you
#they asked what soda it was and i said bubly. because thats the only soda i like (its not even soda its just sparkling water)#and then i explained my moms friend made it for me#and then they asked what flavor it was and i said my favorite flavors were blackberry and raspberry (because they are). i have one earring o#-f each of those but today i was wearing the blackberry one#why dont more people ask me about my earrings. anywah thank you to costco guy. if you see this coscto guy i love you#jamie talks#<- had to invent a tag bc i think this is my first time making an actual post lmao
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At this point i think maybe I'll just let the bank repossess my car. The dmv is going to kill me
#had to get some more paperwork and the guy last time told me VERY specifically that I just needed to get this#one part filled out and that the rest wasn't necessary#so i went in today (with my dear friends who said they'd keep me company ❤️) and the lady was SO MEAN and talked to me like i was stupid#and was like ''ACTUALLY you have to do all of this too'' so now i have to go get all of that signed too#I'm gonna die. I'm gonna kill someone. but we're going to stop by the mall before we go back to decompress lmao#ANYWAY. i intend to keep my car but this is pissing me right off#brookie's bullshit
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anyway if weird shit could stop happening in my life for a while that'd be great
#like am I actually cursed or what#shoutout to the multiple friends who have said they used to have really calm lives until they met me#and then they got caught up in whatever the fuck is my life#I too wish I could get off this train trust me#none of this is on purpose! I just go about living my life! and then something weird happens!#this is still about the baby bird in my attic btw#my sister has a similar issue actually#my brother in law has said that both of us always have so much to talk about because so much weird shit always happens to us lmao#my sister doesn't get birds in the house#but they DID once have to get the firefighters to pull their kitten out of an underground glass container so there's that#also my niece could've died today from a hook for a zipline somehow unlatching while she was 5 meters up#(not on the actual zipline thank god#plus there was an adult there who saw it and immediately grabbed her#but holy shit)
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Like Tyler once said,, "This shit's so damn embarrassing like" LIKE YES. YOURE RIGHT. THIS IS WHAT IM FEELING RN. Girl said "I think she hates me now :(" like uhhh I'm glad you even suspected it or otherwise you're just DUMB? Then broski said "oh I'll cut her off if she hates you" and my face is like.....😐😑🤦♀️ I'm not INTIMIDATED because CMON tf I'm gonna do it both of them cut me off??? Cry?? NAHH I'll be living my life in rainbows between flowers 🌺 glitter and sparkles ✨ on my bed every morning!!! LIKE WHY DO U THINK I CARE SOO MUCH I DONTTT?? you're so setting yourself up to be made fun of..like this time when my friends ask me about you I'll give them all your socials for a good laugh 💀💀
#I CANT STAND HERRRR#OMG LIKE THIS IS SO DUMB#AND ITS FAIR BECAUSE MY FRIENDS WILL MAKE FUN OF ME TOO... FOR BEING HER FRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE#BUT LIKE IDK WHAT I WAS THINKING?#ah yes i want to create peace and be friends again 💕✨#NOOO MF THE BEST PEACE I CAN HAVE IS BEING AROUND PEOPLE I ACTUALLY LOVE...NOT HAVING TO FAKE ITT#...plus you only talk to me about killing urself like is that actually the only way you wanna keep me#like ahh yess I'll let her love me by making her know i belong to a mental asylum!! <33#it aint working buddy i notice that stuff easy🤦♀️ but u still mention it even if i said i dont like gore stuff. they make me disgusted ew#OH CRAP THE TAGS ARE BECOMING HATE ENOUGH FOR TODAY#not naming who it is use ur imagination LMAO
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feeling sad :(
#sorry this is such a dumb thing to be sad about im a grown ass adult but like two thirds of the people i invited to my birthday#either cant come or said they would then bailed and like#some of them have legit reasons but some of them i'm kind of like :/ ok well i put in so much effort for yall would be really nice#if a crumb of that was reciprocated#idk i dont ask for much on my birthday i just want to have a nice dinner with my friends#and i have friends who like throw the biggest tantrum fusses about their birthdays and make it this entire spectacle#and people still humour them so it's kind of like#idk#do i really suck that bad that you cant make a saturday evening work to like eat good food#idk maybe next year i just wont plan anything#and everyone'll be like BUT SIMA IT'S THE BIG ONE and i'll be like well! i wish it werent!#bc it'll suck even more to have people not come lmao i dont actually think i've ever had a milestone birthday people just dont give a shit#this includes my parents idk like they are nice to me on my birthday but like no birthday was ever like hashtag special#and like the holidays already sucked so bad this year they did not feel like the holidays half the people i got presents for#didnt get me anything which is like fine i dont give presents to get them back but it kind of sucks to not even get a card? a thank you???#idk this is so stupid i am turning 29 i pay taxes this should not be a big deal#maybe it's bc i feel like half my 20s were pandemic years so it kind of sucks that theyre basically over and idk im just feeling sad and ol#and lonely and just kind of shitty and unlikeable#AND IT'S DUMBBBBB TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST IDK WHY I'M CRYING FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE
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.
#no but what is it with people that feel entitled to have you do your job for them for free#like this dude that mind you is not even my friend has called me ten times since yesterday#there was this unknown number texting me on wsp saying hello and then wouldn't stop calling me throughout the day so i just ignored it#and then at night my cousin texted me saying that x person was trying to contact me and said i wouldn't answer#and i was like what do they want#and she was like 'legal advice' LIKE ??????#i'm IN THE PROCESS of becoming a lawyer i'm not even one yet meaning i can't act like one and get paid for it#and sure i do help my friends and family with legal stuff for free bc i love them but like. people who aren't close to me i don't really#have to???#it takes actual time out of my day to help them out#and to have this guy who just called me AGAIN today and now texted me like 20 minutes ago telling me to pick up my phone i mean???????#idk what you need but either be willing to pay me or get an actual lawyer my dude i'm not obliged to do shit for you#i mean if he just texted me it'd be /fine/ ig but it's the fact that he's demanding to talk on the phone with me when i have anxiety and#hate talking on the phone#like just tell me what you want and go. i'll see whether i can help you out or not but just stop spamming meeeeeeee#i'm deleting this later i just needed to let it out JDÑSJDÑS i don't even wanna check my phone anymore lmao
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i was talking to this dude from hinge for like a while and we only went on one date but i really wanted to be friends, we got along well and we had all sorts of silly random text conversations but then a few weeks ago they said they were kinda having some mental health issues and might not be around as much and i didn't rly think anything of it tbh. it's been like a few weeks and i've just been kinda waiting for them to respond to my last message, i figured they were gonna eventually. but then i opened tiktok & i saw that they had sent me some videos more recently and i was like oh cool lemme go look but now their account is not loading??? like it looks like they blocked me and their last message just read "👋👋👋" and im very fucking confused because that was on sunday and they haven't texted me for at least two weeks. i fully warned them i never check tiktok, that was never our main method of communication we mostly texted. im so confused, did i get blocked and ghosted or are they still gonna text me?
#idk if i should send a text being like 'hey you good?'#but they never responded to the last thing i sent them which was a meme#and idk my social anxiety is making me overanalyze it#maybe later today i'll send a text and see what's up#because we hadn't yet had the conversation about whether or not we wanted to continue dating#and part of me thinks maybe they are too anxious or smth???#but i really liked them and i wanna communicate so i think im gonna check in#just to be clear. i don't actually have romantic feelings for this person i just really wanna be friends and hang out#we just met on a dating app and it hadn't been that long since we had started talking & gone on the one date#anyway. i hope that they're okay and it's not like because i said something to make them hate me lmao#bri babbles
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me and my sister went to the mall today and we ran into hot topic so fucking fast it was unbelievable. me and my sister are literal opposites when it comes to fashion. she picked pink, pastel shit like she was trying to be all uwu kawaii meanwhile im just standing here with my arms full of emo and goth shit, i legit felt like daigo and masato with all this emo drip i had walked out with. (p.s. they should put yakuza stuff in hot topic if they havent already because i have yet to have any yakuza related things in my room </3 also hot topic is like the only store i will shop at)
im so sorry to say these words to you but reading this reminded me of my immortal
#snap chats#I ALSO HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK THOUGH CAUSE I LITERALLY JUST GOT BACK FROM HOT TOPIC AND SPENCERSLKEAKVJA#rubbing off my fucking eyeliner as we speak im no better than a goffick and im sure the stuff you got was actually real fire and im jealous#i actually wore my hakuho pin out today- i pinned it on my back jean jacket. not to flex on you or anything 🥴#i remember the day my college friend said something about me being goth and i looked like a dumbass saying 'im not goth...'#when all i ever did was wear black. and tbf i toned it down a LOT while i was at school. i wanted to be normal-passing 😭😭#that aside i only went in to get jewelry and a new belt chain. also a kirby keychain and nail polish#but like it was that Blackheart brand so you know i just wanted it for the skull container and the name. also i was running out#my hot topic really doesnt have any clothes- or at least clothes i fuck with like its mostly skirts and puffy-sleeved shirts#and yeah those are epic and awesome but they're not my style yk. love it on other people just not on me#i usually get my clothes from like. express or skate shops. very different fashions as you can see LMAOOO#like today i got this really pretty crane shirt and then like. i got a black-and-white striped long sleeve with a skeleton hand patch LMAO#UGH im pissed i didnt get the red and black variant too but i didnt think bout it til i already left#i want to get new boots- the ones i have now are great and i love them but i want something chunkier#my 'goth' fashion is really lowkey honestly like i hardly consider myself goth cause of it- its very casual ig#ignore the fuck-you amount of rings i wear ok. theyre pretty..... also they have certain meanings sometimes#like i wear an owl ring cause it reminds me of my sis since she loved owls growing up and went to a uni with an owl mascot#i wear a dragon ring sometimes cause dragons remind me of my dad. for whatever reason.#idk its cause he tried to convince me i was born year of the dragon when i wasnt ?? idk funny guy lmao#and then i already said i wore snake stuff and crosses cause I Hate My Mom. also i was born a snake#also my dads a christian so :] i will wear two cross rings and a cross necklace tyvm love you pops i wish you were around more#uhhh did i want to say anything else. idk im just dumping about my emo bullshit thanks for reading ☠️☠️#if this wasnt my yakuza blog id actually just show the haul i got today BUT i will spare you lot from my emo bullshit#ok ill kill the tags here now im SILLY
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