#my friend said that today actually LMAO
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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage
#eliot posts#dunme#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao#but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here#i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying#tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number#(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a#plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time#and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars#and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75#the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???
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It doesn’t really hit home how much I’ve screwed up at life until I realize I have literally no one I can call without hesitation about [problem]
#don’t talk to any high school friends anymore except for like a once a year text catch up with like 2 of them#don’t really talk to any college friends either even though it’s been less than a year????#and the last time I tried it did not help at all#the only friend I can think of who explicitly said I can call her whenever is really busy rn#and I tried to hash this out with her not too long ago so I don’t just wanna repeat myself#NOT comfy talking to family about this and anyway my brother reported another typical lack of communication skills moment that happened at#home today#hhhhhh#I never felt like I was doing anything wrong in the moment but apparently I am actually really bad at friends and relationships#and it’s not like anything bad has happened with friendships????#when it’s good it’s really good but no object permanence lmao#so anyways#I’m really glad the semester is about to start and I’ll be able to go to adoration and daily mass regularly again#feel like I am going INSANE#p
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´；ω；｀)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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Not to start shit, if you know me you know I'm a "ship and let ship" kinda gal and saying this I truly have no problem with James/Orla as a ship it harms no one and plenty of people like it, I like people having fun... that said...
I have never understood the common argument that James/Erin as a ship makes no sense and James/Orla should have been the ship instead. Often one of the arguments is that James/Erin wasn't set up while James/Orla was and I'm sorry... what? James/Erin have at least one ship heavy episode each season as well as plenty of background moments and several significant moments in Erin's Diary.
Even if you ignore all the background moments of the two holding hands, being inside each others personal space, the times where they're clearly matching and whatnot. There is at LEAST the implication that Erin would ignore her supposed crush for James, that she cares what he thinks, that Erin is James's type, that they're aligned in creative values and match each others energies, that Erin thinks he's handsome, that James thinks she's beautiful, that she can't imagine her life without him, etc.
James/Orla have some touchy moments... that's kinda all they have as far as romantic coding and I don't see how those two hugging in the Season 2 finale is somehow more significant than what setup James/Erin have throughout all the seasons.
Honestly, while I can see Orla liking James - you could build a case for it and convince me even though I see Orla as ace/aro in my own personal headcanons... no one has ever been able to give me a convincing argument for James liking Orla back. It kinda feels like you have to ignore that he never has a reason to fancy Orla back and just project onto him that.
Which, again, go off if that's your bag I think their friendship is fun and I could see making a ship out of it, but the common argument is that the SHOW makes a better case for James/Orla and like, no? No it really doesn't? It's just not main girl/main boy and some people really don't like that trope or Erin as a main and I think that if you say the show didn't set up James/Erin well and you argue the show would have been better with James/Orla based on what's in the show, you just might not like Erin very much?
I've also never been able to make sense of the argument that James/Erin is somehow the trope that 'guys and girls can't just be friends' like, is that not also James/Orla? Y'know, besides that Orla isn't a girl. They do use she/her during the show time period though and some people who argue this think Orla is a girl, they just think they're not THE girl. So somehow it's better even though it's the same thing.
Basically what I'm saying is that shipping is fun and we all oughta do it. Every ship besides the obvious ones is potentially fun and I'm down for it, but there is one ship the show was setting up and we all know what that ship was and I think it would be better if we all were honest about it.
PS: "James was gay the whole time!" Truthers, if you made it through this post somehow I'd like to offer a compromise: James Maguire is the most bisexual coded male character in media history we can all win here.
#derry girls#james maguire#jerin#erin quinn#Orla McCool#james x erin#erin x james#not tagging Orla and James as a ship because I'm not starting shit it's literally just addressing a common fandom thing I see a lot#when I track discussions of the show#funny enough I do actually have a stream-of-consciousness ficlet in my best friend's dms#where very early on Orla gives James a 'Valentine You're a Horse' card and he overthinks what it means for a week:#Orla: I like horses.#James: Wait so does that mean you like me?? Cause you said I'm a horse -#Orla: *grabs his face* James. I really like horses.#James: I... okay.#Orla: So we understand each other. *walks away*#And then they never discuss it again for like ten years until his wedding to Erin where Orla says they are glad at least Erin won him#since their attempt at wooing didn't work#James: YOU DID LIKE ME BACK THEN OH MY GOD!#Orla: I TOLD YOU I LIKED HORSES HOW MUCH MORE CLEAR COULD I HAVE BEEN. WE WOULD HAVE NEVER WORKED. YOU DON'T GET ME.#This is how I see any romance between them going hypothetically: Orla making an overture James just doesn't get and nothing happens lmao#this was stream of consciousness so if this post is rambling and incoherent be nice to me I'm on my period#I am fog brained today
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FIRST EVER ARTIST ALLEY TABLE DONE!!!
#everyone who came to the table was so lovely and so many of our friends came to support as well ;o;#day 1 was so busy and i was so stressed and had completely lost all social energy by lunch RIP#but i felt much better today actually AHA prob bc it was just less packed in general and also i had worked out a better system#for organising my stuff#overall it was rly cool to try a new experience tho ive literally wanted to table since high school ;o;#hopefully next time i will be less stressed and can actually talk to other artists lmao#we did get to meet some super amazing artists at the end tho but that was like. 2 out of the whole con#one of them gave me a print for free even tho he bought one of mine n i kept trying to offer to pay but he refused RAHH#also shoutout to the person who bought an adlers bookmark and said they were an atsumu hater but cosplayed atsumu yesterday. help
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my blood boils everytime the girl who loves coping me talks about how she’s starting her psych degree soon
#like why????#today we went to this tea and she was there and kept talking about her psych degree#the one she doesn’t even have 😭😭#so i was talking to my other friend and loudly said ‘it’s not about the money you actually have to be passionate about it too’#i hope she heard me lmaooo#i even said ‘you should study psychology for the right reasons’ lmao i was feeling unhinged today#komal talks
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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My afraid-of-romance ass has just been asked by another regular customer for my number and the stupid thing is that again I do think this guy is kinda cute and I really probably should say yes
#the fear tho lmao#what am I afraid of? I have no fucking clue#this is why I’m still questioning my sexuality lol like what am I? do I even actually like guys? do I like anyone?#in an existential spiral at the moment#but honestly why do they always ask for my number#like dude just give me yours and let me make the decision when you’re not right here in front of me#but I felt bad telling him no today just because the last time a customer asked and I said yes I almost immediately regretted it#and then that didn’t work out because I thought he was too young#young* and now he still sometimes comes by and I just feel awkward about it#maybe I should turn to Facebook and see if I can find him because I have set an age limit for myself and I really don’t want to entertain#anyone younger than that#but I’m……… I know I’m like never active in here anymore#but I just needed to talk about this somewhere#because any of my coworkers would probably tell me I’m being ridiculous or they’d just seriously keep questioning why I keep saying no to#customers that hit on me and my best friend would probably also not get it#idk y’all I just needed to rant about it/talk about it#anyway I’m definitely gonna stress over this until tomorrow#and I’m gonna feel really bad if he stops coming by
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are all teachers incompetent when it comes to listening to a students iep or is it just mine because tell me why i had to be fifteen minutes late to another class because i was trying to explain i have extended time on my assignments. for fifteen minutes.
#and this bitch goes “BuT ThAtS nOt FaiR.tO tHe OtHeR StUdeNtS”#like y’know what else isn’t fair? me having a visual disadvantage to the rest of the kids hence WHY I HAVE THE IEP#GOOD LORD like do your fucking job it’s not that hard to click ��return to student”#ughhhhh okay#whatever#other than that i'm fine#misc#alaska’s irl bullshit#like i’m pretty sure it’s the law?? 😭#eh not as bad as one of my middle school teachers told me actually obeying my iep was a burden on him#and then called ME a burden#or when one of my teachers accused me of being lazy because i don’t have a liscence and i had to awkwardly explain WHY i don’t have one#like you really think i wanna be eighteen years old and still having to either hitch rides from friends or call my mom?#hell no#anyway i’m really fired up abt this mb lmao#anywayyyyyy today was actually sorta good besides that lmao#eh this same teacher (i was talking about in the post) kicked me out of his class cause i was “causing trouble”#(my stomach growled. that was literally it. and he said i was being distracting.)#one more year one more year one more year one more-
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akdbdndjshdf
#feel fucking crazy sometimes ugh ik rn it’s partially bc im kinda tired and i haven’t eaten#but like i do kinda wanna cry bc my friends be planning smth without me LMFAOOOOOOOOOO#it sounds so dumb :| ik it’s not tho lmfaobscbdbdndndkkdksjdhekws#i honestly just need to stop thinking and eat smth or just go to sleep bc i rly don’t feel like#making food rn lmao but#idk i like writing out my thoughts here sometimes so i think imma do that ;-;#bc like my two friends who i’ve been seeing nonstop lately mentioned getting pho w a group#and i def think i said i wanted to join#but they all like were talking abt it today and i think they started a gc to plan it and they do actually have plans#but idk shit abt it#and ik if i asked they would say i can join#but goddammit i could not bring myself to ask today#and honestly even thinking abt needing to ask makes me kinda want to cry#BRUH i wish i was over friendship exclusion bullshit#it’s this one fucking friend in middle school who made me sob a million fucking times#bc she straight up ignored me when we were w other friends#and my friends rn don’t do that#but idk being left out of this gc has made me insane ig 😀😀😀#they can’t even all fit in her car……..#idk like they also never said anything directly to me abt it even tho they were talking abt it in my vicinity#they asked someone else if she wanted to go ;-; like kinda absently but still#i hate that im complaining abt this i hate that i feel fucking crazy complaining abt this#like i can totally see a world where i just fucking ASK and my roommates like oh shit ur not in the group i didn’t realize#but also i could be deluding myself#its literally. not that deep im seeing the two of them tmrw and i can ask when im not out of my mind#ugh fucking fuck sometimes i hate relationships#but ik to some extent that these ppl like spending time w me even if its hard to believe sometimes like rn ig#but to think i have to start all over in a few months and find those ppl again#💀💀💀💀💀🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠#anyway i’m fine i need to chill and do something productive 😭😭😭😭😭
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Guess who didn't get to go home 😭
#not snz#I'm fucking tired bro I'm so ready for this shit to be over#it's been over two weeks and it's just over 60% contained#i never wanna do this shit again this is more than enough for one lifetime 😭#and yet i will continue to do it 😔#but we went on a rescue mission of sorts today so that was something lmao#one of my friends called me frantic to see if i was anywhere near his house bc our physical station is somewhat close to him#bc he was at work and got an evacuation order and panicked bc his dog was still there#so i went running to my captian bc we were like maybe fifteen minutes away like 'please can we go save the dog'#and he actually said yeah so a few of us went code three to his house to grab the dog lmaoooo#and we were all cheering and going crazy like we did something as my buddy's house is still standing completely untouched hours later lmao#that was the most exciting thing we've done lmaoooo i was like wow is this how they feel on the shows#and the dog stayed with us for a few hours until my buddy got off work so we were taking pictures of him in front of the engines LMAO#we have fun while on standby 😌#anyway night watch duty again bc sleep is overrated lmao ✌️
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Wow. What a rollercoaster.
#okay context time!!! this might get a bit long!!#okay soo first thing that happened like almost an hour ago: i accidently got the owner role in a server because the owner was giving a diff-#role to someone else and that was funny#everyone was kinda freaking out but i didnt actuslly take advantage of it i just enjoyed the image perms while it lasted#but like literally right after that.#actually first a little context:#me n my friend who we will call Em were talking abt a drawing she made#said drawing had some bit of gore in it#and i mention in these words specifically “sorry guys big fan of body horror art” and this message that started everything “gore 💚💚😍😍”#i remember vaguely that i got timed out and person who we will call B tagged M [M doesnt like gore] and called me a freak#suddenly EVERYBODY starts poking fun at me abt it with dumb additions to my messages#but TODAY. TO-FUCKING-DAY. M BRINGS IT UP AND THEN THE ENTIRE GEN CHAT STARTS FUCKING AROUND WITH ME#AND M FUCKING GIVES ME A “gore lover” ROLE AND PEOPLE WERE CHANGING MY NAME TO DUMB SHIT#UNTIL SOMEONE MAKES IT SO I COULDNT CHANGE IT BACK so i just fucking LEAVE LMAO#and this was going on for like 20 minutes btw#but M was begging me to join back blah blah blah i tell her it was actually pissing me off blah blah blah i join bac#n then they stsrt bullying Em for being yhe convo starter#sad face. but Em said that she doesnt care abt it and she just wanted to get everyone off my ass ::'3 ty Em ily/p#but uhhh yeah i think that was it#i dont even like gore that much anyway#i jst said it for the funnies#i think body horror is cool as a concept [i mean like take the rot from rain world as an example] but i feel uncomfortable drawing it n stuf#FEW. finally done okay bye#chiip is a huge bug enthusiast#rant in tags#tw gore mention#?#alr
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shout out to the employee at costco who complimented my soda tab earring and when they saw i was visibly excited asked me questions about it. i may not know you but i love you
#they asked what soda it was and i said bubly. because thats the only soda i like (its not even soda its just sparkling water)#and then i explained my moms friend made it for me#and then they asked what flavor it was and i said my favorite flavors were blackberry and raspberry (because they are). i have one earring o#-f each of those but today i was wearing the blackberry one#why dont more people ask me about my earrings. anywah thank you to costco guy. if you see this coscto guy i love you#jamie talks#<- had to invent a tag bc i think this is my first time making an actual post lmao
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At this point i think maybe I'll just let the bank repossess my car. The dmv is going to kill me
#had to get some more paperwork and the guy last time told me VERY specifically that I just needed to get this#one part filled out and that the rest wasn't necessary#so i went in today (with my dear friends who said they'd keep me company ❤️) and the lady was SO MEAN and talked to me like i was stupid#and was like ''ACTUALLY you have to do all of this too'' so now i have to go get all of that signed too#I'm gonna die. I'm gonna kill someone. but we're going to stop by the mall before we go back to decompress lmao#ANYWAY. i intend to keep my car but this is pissing me right off#brookie's bullshit
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anyway if weird shit could stop happening in my life for a while that'd be great
#like am I actually cursed or what#shoutout to the multiple friends who have said they used to have really calm lives until they met me#and then they got caught up in whatever the fuck is my life#I too wish I could get off this train trust me#none of this is on purpose! I just go about living my life! and then something weird happens!#this is still about the baby bird in my attic btw#my sister has a similar issue actually#my brother in law has said that both of us always have so much to talk about because so much weird shit always happens to us lmao#my sister doesn't get birds in the house#but they DID once have to get the firefighters to pull their kitten out of an underground glass container so there's that#also my niece could've died today from a hook for a zipline somehow unlatching while she was 5 meters up#(not on the actual zipline thank god#plus there was an adult there who saw it and immediately grabbed her#but holy shit)
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Like Tyler once said,, "This shit's so damn embarrassing like" LIKE YES. YOURE RIGHT. THIS IS WHAT IM FEELING RN. Girl said "I think she hates me now :(" like uhhh I'm glad you even suspected it or otherwise you're just DUMB? Then broski said "oh I'll cut her off if she hates you" and my face is like.....😐😑🤦♀️ I'm not INTIMIDATED because CMON tf I'm gonna do it both of them cut me off??? Cry?? NAHH I'll be living my life in rainbows between flowers 🌺 glitter and sparkles ✨ on my bed every morning!!! LIKE WHY DO U THINK I CARE SOO MUCH I DONTTT?? you're so setting yourself up to be made fun of..like this time when my friends ask me about you I'll give them all your socials for a good laugh 💀💀
#I CANT STAND HERRRR#OMG LIKE THIS IS SO DUMB#AND ITS FAIR BECAUSE MY FRIENDS WILL MAKE FUN OF ME TOO... FOR BEING HER FRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE#BUT LIKE IDK WHAT I WAS THINKING?#ah yes i want to create peace and be friends again 💕✨#NOOO MF THE BEST PEACE I CAN HAVE IS BEING AROUND PEOPLE I ACTUALLY LOVE...NOT HAVING TO FAKE ITT#...plus you only talk to me about killing urself like is that actually the only way you wanna keep me#like ahh yess I'll let her love me by making her know i belong to a mental asylum!! <33#it aint working buddy i notice that stuff easy🤦♀️ but u still mention it even if i said i dont like gore stuff. they make me disgusted ew#OH CRAP THE TAGS ARE BECOMING HATE ENOUGH FOR TODAY#not naming who it is use ur imagination LMAO
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