#my first thought was 'he kinda looks like gregor'

[catsteeth]

She's My Collar

Sandor "The Hound" Clegane x Baratheon Princess

+:✿ Request ✿:+ 

Request: “This request is for sandor of course!! I am all for angsty, yearning sandor clegane!! My train of thought is all over the place but heres a list of something I hope you could include in the one shot: •hozier level yearning •unrequited love/want •perhaps stark!reader or baratheon!reader •fleeting interactions like something small but it sticks with sandor •“im not a religious man but ill follow her” kinda vibe if that makes any sense!!" CW: MDNI, ANGST, afab reader, alcohol consumption, unrequited love, yearning, misogyny, arranged marriage, violence, joffrey being joffrey, mention of death.  A/N: He’s pathetic and I love it

Word Count: 5K

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

The girl was born a Baratheon, born to Robert Baratheon during a previous marriage. Her mother, born to some wealthy house. But her memory would be lost in time after she died in childbirth. Robert did not speak of her. Cersei despised the mention of her name. So not much was known of her. Though she must’ve been pretty, as the girl born to Robert Baratheon was a girl of beauty. And soon after her mother’s death, Robert married Cersei Lannister. 

Either due to jealousy or embarrassment Cersei would treat the girl with malice, and hostility. But unlike the King's eldest son, the girl was kind and good. 

The boy was born to a man who wanted nothing more than for his sons to be knights of the Seven Kingdoms. His ambitions blinded him, allowing his eldest son Gregor to commit horrid acts. So long as the boy was a knight, none else mattered. The man's youngest son was kind. He was just a boy, no more than six years old. 

The little boy dreamed of being a knight just as his father did. Dreamed on the good deeds he would do in the name of his king and the Seven Kingdoms. Though those dreams would be dashed and discarded once the boy's older brother showed him the cruelty the world is capable of. The cruelty he was capable of. The cruelty the world rewarded him for. 

The boy grew into The Hound, Sandor Clegane the second most feared man in the Seven Kingdoms. The girl grew into a princess, one hated by her stepmother and eldest half brother. But loved by her father, her half siblings, the realm, and by a Hound.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ 

The Hound and the princess grew alongside one another most of his life. He could remember when he and she were much younger. The Lannisters and the Baratheons were traveling across the Stormlands. It was a hard journey, soon food became scarce. Naturally the scraps of whatever the royals did not eat were left to the guards and any other member of the traveling crew. But the princess would offer a young hound the meat from her plate every night.  He always hesitated, but was too hungry to deny her charity. She never held her charitable act over him, never even mentioned it. 

He was not one to appreciate beauty, nor was he one to indulge himself in fantasies of love. But the princess’s beauty was one that haunted Sandor. His whole life he looked at her as though she were the maiden herself. And the princess did not look upon the Hound with grotesque curiosity. Nor did she flaunt his presence to others in a manner of threatening them. No, the princess was kind towards him, kind when she did not have to be. He often found kindness a weakness in people, but in her kindness he found a comfort. 

The girl was different from her father, different from her brother. She was kind, she was honest, and he would follow her as if she was a God.  

He could also remember the first time she bestowed her favor onto him. 

Sandor never feared the tourneys he fought in. He did not fear the joust, he did not fear the competitors. What he did not like was the tradition of asking a noble lady for her favor. 

Sandor never liked this tradition. Never liked having to speak to noble ladies much less ask them to favor him. Not only was it ridiculous to him, the ladies often grimaced at his gesture. But at this tourney, and every tourney after it, he would pick the lady he wished to have picked each time before. 

As he rode his intimidatingly large black ill tempered stallion around the tournament pit. He looked up at all the noble ladies above him, looking down at him. They all sneered at his gaze, wishing not to be picked. The noble men all snickered amongst one another. But there was one person who looked upon him with indifferent eyes. The Baratheon girl’s eyes were not filled with pity, disgust, nor anticipation for the violence he was about to insight for the high lord's entertainment. She simply watched him with her same kind eyes. 

He did not think much of it, it came naturally to him as he stopped his horse in front of the royal family's seating. “I ask the favor of the Princess.” He said begrudgingly. 

The princess rose from her seat with a smile. She grabbed a ring of florals and silk. The flowers were yellow and the silk ribbon was black, the colors of both her house and his. As she approached him, she smiled upon him and placed the favor upon his joust. “I wish you good fortune, Sandor Clegane.” Sandor, he did not know she knew his name. Her voice itself was gentle and hushed, only for him to hear. Her smile was gentle and warm, one that he would have killed to see each night. One that he won the tourney for. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈

Once, Joffrey had decided that a servant boy had shot him a momentary disrespectful glance. If he had, it would not have been unwarranted, though who is to say if he even did. Joffrey, sometimes bored, would pretend small disrespectful gestures were made against him. Allowing him to justify any horrid act he found amusement in subjecting any poor soul to. 

“I am sorry, my prince! Please if you would give me another chance-” The servant boy pleaded on his hands and knees. His cheek red from the blow Ser Meryn had given him moments before. 

Sandor never liked being Joffrey's sworn shield. Never liked that blonde cunt at all. Whenever he wanted to feel powerful, wanted to hurt someone weaker than him for no good reason, it bored and irritated him. 

Though it hardly ever embarrassed him, until she stepped into that room.

“Brother stop this!” The Baratheon princess commanded with a look of disgust. Sandor, though he’d not laid a hand on the boy, swallowed hard and stood straighter at her sudden presence. He worried how she’d look at him now, would her kind eyes fade for him?

“Why should I?” Joffrey asked her back with a raised brow.

The girl, bravely scoffed and took a few steps closer to her younger ‘brother’, “Because I commanded you to.” She said with angry eyes, an expression Sandor rarely saw from her. She looked beautiful even when she was angry.

Joffrey narrowed his eyes at her, “Who are you to command anything of me?” he stifled a laugh which only enraged her more. And only enraged Sandor more.

She took another step closer to him. Her hand gently trailed along the extravagantly dressed wooden table. “Your elder sister, the Kings first born-” 

“First born daughter.” Joffrey finished her words for her. “Daughter. You are not heir to anything. I’ll be king one day and you, a princess for a lifetime.” He said laughing as if he were amused by some great jest. “And as your king, I could have anything done to you that I like.” He walked closer to her, with a threatening gaze. “In fact, as heir to the throne, I could do anything I like. I could have Ser Meryn hold you down and-”  And with that the girl's temper got the better of her. She grasped a glass goblet from the table she stood by, and threw it with great force at her brother’s feet. The goblet shattered into a hundred pieces. Bits of it flew and cut Joffrey’s right hand. And some other bits cut Sandor’s cheek, not deeply but enough to bleed. “You cannot do that!” His shrill voice cracked as he grasped hold of bleeding palm.

“Clearly I can.” The girl said with little emotion. It would have made Sandor laugh if he didn’t have to worry about the other royal guards. He worried that they would put their filthy hands on you, or would be foolish enough to draw their swords. 

Though none would. The guards were shocked by the scene. This princess had never done so much as raised her voice, and now she was assaulting their future kind. They had to think of defending one of the King’s children from the other. They stood, unsure of how to act.

Furiously Joffrey shouted, “I’ll tell my mother!” Knowing his father would do nothing but ridicule him.

The princess raised her hand, and slapped the boy across the cheek, “Tell her I did that as well.” She added. 

Her slap was enough to leave a red imprint across the boy's face.

In a fit of anger, the young prince grabbed hold of his sword. Prepared to draw its blade and point it at the princess. Just before Sandor could grab the prince, a different Kingsgaurd stepped between the two royals. “Stop this!” the man commanded. Joffrey let go of the sword's hilt and the girl began to walk away, ready to face whatever punishment her step mother desired. 

With her back turned, and the guards' attentions divided. Joffrey ceased his moment, and drew the thin blade of his sword and readied himself to strike the princess. 

“Boy!” The princess turned back as the Hound’s loud voice boomed out through the dining hall. She was stunned by the sight before her. The prince’s attack was stopped by the Hound ceasing the blade with his bare hand. Blood from his hand trickled down the blade of the sword.

꒰ ୨୧ ─

Soon the two royal children were brought before their father the King.

“How the fuck did any of this happen? You are meant to protect my blood!” King Robert questioned the KingsGuard furiously. 

“Never had to protect a princess from a prince.” Ser Meryn attempted to explain, “Or a prince from a princess.” He said in a lower tone that angered Joffrey.

“Shut up!” King Robert angrily shouted, sick of hearing whatever excuse they had. He sat back in his chair, and huffed loudly. He looked between his two children. “Well done, my girl.” He said in a gruff low tone.

Joffrey looked surprised his father would congratulate her on striking her brother. “But look what she-“ Joffrey began, holding up his cut palm.

Though Robert interrupted him, “How could you ever be a king if you cannot win a fight against a woman?” 

“Father!” Joffrey’s shrill voice shouted, 

“Leave!” Robert shouted back. With an infuriated huff, Joffrey left accompanied with two guards by his side. Though Sandor stayed in the room. “Girl, come ‘ere.” Robert commanded much softer to his daughter, waving his hand, beckoning her to come closer. 

She did as her king commanded. Stepped closer to him with her head lowered. Robert stood before her, and held her chin up with his fingers. “You’re more of a man than your brother.” He said proudly. He meant it as a complement, it was a rare thing to receive as a child of Roberts. With a sigh he patted the girl on the back, “Go on then.” He said softly dismissing her. 

She nodded and took her leave as her father requested. 

As the girl left, Sandor turned to follow her out. Though the King’s voice beckoned out, stopping him in his steps. “Dog.” Sandor stopped, and turned towards the King, “If that yellow haired shit lays a hand on my girl you beat him.” The King commanded. Sandor needed no other instruction. He was quite content to do so. “Understood?” The King pressed.

Sandor nodded, “Aye.” 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈

As the Hound walked down the Halls of the keep, he saw the princess walking in the opposite direction. He tried to keep his eyes ahead, not looking at her at all. 

Though his illusion of disinterest did not deter the girl, “I beg pardon, ser.” Her serene voice called out gently. It felt like a cool breeze on a hot day, a relief. 

Sandor looked up at her, hoping she was not speaking to him. If she was, he knew whatever words she spoke to him would haunt his thoughts. As he looked at her, he knew she was speaking to him. He swallowed and then croaked out, “I’m no ser.” 

The Baratheon princess shook her head, “No. You are more true than any knight.” He knew her words would haunt him, but now they would torture him. The girl stepped forward, making him almost flinch, “All the knights in that room were content to let my brother kill me. What you did today-“

The girl began but the Hound interrupted her, knowing if she thanked him, his stomach might turn. “It’s my duty to protect you.” He grumbled, attempting to not look the girl in the eyes. Her beautiful eyes.

“I’d call it brave.” She chimed, making him stop and turn to face her once again. He was about to tell her it was not brave but she continued, “But I know you’d not. You are a hard man with many scars. You needn’t courage, nor praise. But I thank you for what you've done.” 

Fuck.

He was never thanked for doing his duty. Never thanked for anything. He was commanded and he did as he was told. 

Her eyes wandered over the Hound’s face. It made him feel weak, for the first time in a very long time. “I am sorry-” She said, her voice sickeningly sweet. Sandor looked at her with confusion, “Are you hurt?” She asked as she reached her hand towards the cut on his cheek. Her sudden movement made him flinch. 

“No.” He rasped quickly. 

The girl however was scared of the Hound. She continued forward and placed a hand on the Hounds shoulder. Even though her hand was separated from his skin by his thick armor, he still felt a chill run over his body. “Oh but you are-” She began, concerned for him. A feeling that was new for him.

“It’s a scratch.” Sandor interrupted the girl.

She shook her head, “Still, I caused it.” The girl reached into the neckline of her gown, making Sandor almost blush. Such a strange thing, a man who had seen every part of a woman, and every sexual act no matter how deviant in almost every brothel in KingsLanding would blush at such a thing. She pulled out a handkerchief embroidered with her name, “Take this.” She said holding it out to him.

He could not take it. He could not, no matter how badly he wanted to. “Don’t need it-” 

“I command you to take it, as your princess.” The girl said without hesitation. Reluctantly Sandor grabbed the cloth, “I am sorry.” She said once more before continuing on and walking past Sandor. 

She did not know that he would worship that cloth. Keep it in his armor, and keep it in his rooms when he slept. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈

When Robert mixed drinking and hunting too often, a boar attacked him. Leaving him so injured he was on a deathbed.

The princess visited her father each day, morning, noon, and night. And when he died, she stayed confined to her chambers. Her only company she’d allow was her Septa. Though the girl was grown enough to be without a Septa, hers was closer to a mother. Since the girl never had one, her septa was there for all her girlhood. So she insisted on keeping around. 

Sandor often checked on the girl, though of course she was not wise to this. 

He would open her door, just a crack. He would listen in just to be sure she was alright. One day when he decided to open her door he heard her and her Septa speaking plainly. 

“Do you think the boar was the Gods doing?” The girl asked as she stared out her window with a stoic and dazed expression.

“Hm?” Her septa responded, looking up from the needlepoint she mindlessly toyed at.

The girl did not look at her septa. Simply continued to stare out her window into nothingness. She paused for a moment, not speaking, “I’d a dream the Stranger came to those woods. He changed into a boar and killed my father for his deviance.” She spoke of such morbid dreams with no emotion attached to it at all.

“How awful.” Her septa gasped, throwing her needle point down onto the table in front of her. “No dear girl I don’t think it was.” She said more gently, “You dream too much.” 

The girl shrugged, still not looking at the old woman. “I suppose I’m trying to find the Gods in everything I do.” 

“Prayer is best for that. Not such morbid dreams.” The old Septa said, picking her needle point back up. 

The girl did not respond for a moment, still simply staring out into nothing. “Do you think they’re real?” She asked softly and without shame. “Do you truly believe it? Never did you doubt it?” She asked, finally looking at the Old Septa.

“They are real.” She asserted sternly, “You believe they aren’t?” 

The girl sighed, not wanting for a lecture, “I know the Gods are a necessity for people. Like food, water. I know they must exist. But I also know they don’t.” She said calmly. Her words stuck with Sandor like a knife driven into his back.

“What a terrible thing to say.” Her septa said shocked.

“Is it?” The girl's eyes narrowed in confusion, “It’s just my thoughts.”

The septa shook her head looking back to her needle point. “You think too much, dear girl.” 

The girl sighed and went back to looking out her window, “Seems I do too much and not enough.”

Without many words at all, this lonely girl would consume Sandor’s every thought. She was smart and kind. Two things Sandor did not think of himself. 

He did not believe in the Gods, because if there were Gods, why did they punish this girl? Perhaps she was his punishment. Perhaps he was hers. Perhaps it was the world that was their punishment. 

This girl should be queen. She���d be a good one, a better one then her cunt brother. She’d be loved by the small folk and no doubt able to keep some kind of peace, even with the war. She’d not let her pride keep the seventh kingdom. If they wanted independence they’d have it. Clearly they could fight well enough on their own. But she was not queen. But she was his. 

How her hair laid against the delicate fabric of her pillow. She was all too precious for his affections. He couldn’t help it really, he felt drawn towards her. Felt a stronger pull towards her than he felt towards anything, even food or water. But he’d never subject her to his presence. 

He simply needed to see her, needed to know she was safe.

She slept sweetly, her breathing though loud was the calmest noise he’d heard. It was like the sounds of waves meeting the sands. 

Sometimes, not often, but sometimes he would fantasize about what it would feel like to sleep beside her. For her to invite him into her bed. To sleep in his arms. He’d feel her heartbeat against his own. He’d smell her scent, and feel her chest rise and fall with each breath. He never slept well, but he believed if she was in his arms, perhaps he could. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈

As time went by, the royal family debated what to do with the girl. She was not a Baratheon Lannister, she was the reminder of Robert's first marriage, a reminder that Joffrey was not the true king. 

Sandor stood guard by the small council’s chamber door as he heard the girl’s step mother Cersei say, “She’s as wild as the boar that killed her father. No man would want her, she is too difficult. So give her to the Tyrell’s, a poisoned gift.” 

Overcome with a myriad of emotions, anger, sadness, and grief, Sandor rushed to the girl's chambers. 

Sandor stood behind her door. His hand firmly grasped the door handle, and his forehead rested against the wood of the door.

He stood there for what felt like an eternity. 

He wanted to open the door, ask- no beg you to run away with him. He wanted to tell you all the things he felt for you. Wanted to protect you. 

But he was a second son, a kingsguard, he had no land, and no money. He had nothing to offer you, he didn’t even have a handsome face to bargain with. 

And so, he let the handle of the door go, and he walked down the hall. He considered it mercy. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─

Instead of subjecting that poor girl to his company he decided to subject tavern dwellers to him instead. That night, as her marriage was announced, Sandor sank into his cups.

Though even there he was not protected from talks of her betroval. 

Beside Sandor at another table were four men, 

“Say what you will, I think it’s a perfect match! Loras Tyrell loves a Baratheon!” Some oaf shouted as he slammed his cup onto the table laughing. 

“Aye but she’s missin’ a cock now isn’t she!” A shorter guard shouted out.

Sandor wanted to break the fool's jaws for speaking of her situation with such amusement. “Too bad for Loras, and too bad for all the other men in the realm!” A bald guard added,

The shorter guard raised his cup, “Hear hear. I’ll miss seeing that girl… Miss seeing her bend over to pick flowers.” 

The bald guard nodded in a facade of sadness, “Aye that ass will be missed-”

“No, her pair of tits will be missed!” The fatter guard spoke up.

“Nay her cunt! Ah and what a waste she’ll be giving it to a boy whore.” One of the men said, it was enough for Sandor to slam his cup onto the table in anger. He was trying with all his might to hold onto his restraint.

Though this did not go unnoticed by the men at the table. The oafish one spoke up again, “What of you Clegane?” He said getting closer to the Hound, “You guard that sweet stag so loyally. Surely you’ve thought of what her cunt tastes like-” 

Without another thought, Sandor took the man by the back of his head and slammed it into the table. His nose broke and his teeth cracked. Sandor took his dagger out and stabbed it through the man's hand. His blade took one of the man’s fingers. 

Sandor stood, taking his drink with him, “You speak to me like that again, I’ll take more than a finger.” He warned as he left the tavern in a huff.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈

Against his better judgment, that night Sandor checked in on that girl. 

She was with her Septa again. He hoped that she were alone, if she were perhaps in his drunken state he’d have actually begged her to run off with him.

“My father would never have allowed this.” The girl said with a scared and sorrowful waiver of her voice, “Though I suppose it will be a relief to be gone from this place.” She sniffled, “I just don’t want to be forgotten.” 

“You’ll not be forgotten, dear girl.” Her Septa said petting her hair. 

“I suppose if I were to marry anyone in this city it would be him.” She shrugged, “But, I am unsure of how I could please him. You know of his nature. Know of his relationship with my uncle. I care not for any moral righteousness and I hold no judgment of it. But how could I ever make him happy?” She asked desperately, frightened by the prospects of her future. 

Her Septa grasped the girl by her shoulders tightly, “You will make him happy by giving his children royal blood.” 

“And how can I even do that?” The girl put her face into her hands,

“You are familiar with the act, I have explained it-”

The girl interrupted, “I won’t want it.”

Her Septa sighed, “A dreadful duty for some wives. Just lay there. Look at the ceiling and memorize the pattern of the trim. Count the seconds. Anything to let your mind wander away from your body.” She tried her best to comfort the girl, but clearly was doing nothing to help the girl’s fear.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈

As Sandor took leave of his duties. He threw off his armor without caution, and nearly ripped his clothing off himself. He was angry, no, he was enraged. 

This girl did not deserve this. She deserved none of the shit those blonde shits put her through. And the words of ‘advice’ given to her by her septa only enraged him more. She should have told her to slip poison in his wine. 

Sandor sat down on his bed in his small clothes with a huff. His weight made the bed creek and bow. He drank from a wineskin as he thought of it all. Soon his anger subsided, replaced with a defeated sorrow. 

Naught could be done for her. This much he knew for certain.

So, after his wineskin ran dry he laid down. Finally allowing his body to rest even though his mind could not.

As he laid there, stripped of his armor and steel. As his sensitive skin laid against the rough material of his bedding he was reminded once more that he, and his body were punished. Punished by both too much, and not enough.

Too much combat, too much drinking, too many tourneys, too many cuts and bruises. So much he endured, and his body was punished for it. He ached and felt pains all over his body all the time. His scars were sensitive and hurt in warm bath water. 

But as he laid there he was again reminded how he had not enough. Not enough gentle touches, enough love and care. Though of course he’d never admit it to anyone. His body felt truly alone in his bed. He wished he could have felt her around him. He’d fucked before, that would not shock anyone. But he’d never made love to anyone. And Gods did he need to. 

He thought of it often, kissing her. He’d do it gently. He’d be gentle with her. She deserved gentleness. He’d kiss her while he held her face in his palms. Kiss her neck, press his lips against her skin and lick where she was most sensitive- wherever those spots were. Gods he wanted to know where they were. 

He felt shameful for thinking this way, he really did. He was no better than those men in that tavern. But, he’d be good to her.

He’d make her his wife, in the eyes of The Seven. He’d build her a home. It wouldn’t be like the one she’d been brought up in. Not a castle, but a house made of stone and wood. He’d give her safety, love. And as his hand began to wonder his punished body he thought of how he’d give her children.

He wished to know how her body would feel in hands. How it would feel to have his hands caress her breasts, the curves of her body, the soft plumpness of her belly. He wondered how it would feel to be inside of her. How his cock would feel to slide in and out of her slick, warm, inviting cunt. He did not know, but he did know it would have felt oh so much better than his calassed hand that was wrapped around his length now. 

Though his actions were vulgar and sexual, he did not think of it as that. He couldn’t think of her for long without feeling the need to have her. To be close to her. To please her. To hold her close and make her feel safe under his touch, to make her feel loved and desired with his body, his hands, and his mouth. 

He thought of what her septa told her. That she’d have to lay down and take it. If she was with him she’d want it, she’d never be forced. Bedding would be a pleasure not a duty.

His groans loudened, and his breathing quickened as he thought of how she’d ask him for it. How gentle her touch would feel on his ruined skin. 

Soon he was awoken from his day dream as the hot splash of his release jolted his mind back to reality. 

He did not have her, and she for all he knew, did not want him. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈

And so the Hound was left with nothing to do but sit and watch as the love of his life was preparing to leave his life forever. 

He felt his heart breaking as he escorted the royals to the docks with the rest of the Kingsguard. He felt his eyes water as she began to step onto the dock, and approach the boat that would take her away from him. 

Naught could be done for her. 

So without a word the Hound offered the girl his hand. She took it, gently. He helped her into the boat. Her gaze fell onto him, and Gods it felt warm. He wanted to cut through them all. Wanted to take her off that boat and ride her away on Stranger. He’d do all the things he thought of the night before. Build her a home, keep her safe, and he’d love her. But they didn’t live in that world. 

The princess would marry that Tyrell. She’d have his sons, whether she wanted it or not. And she would never know how much her dog loved her.

The Hound watched as the boat sailed away with the girl he had loved all his life.

It’s the world that’s awful.

Thank you so much for your request! It was so much fun to write!!

Requester: @rhinestonecowboysworld

[eatyourmaker]

OKOK BUT MIGHT HAVE A LIL DADNACIO REQUEST- Him and Mr Wonder taking care of the kiddos :3c (HONESTLY, I HAVE THIS LIL RAREPAIR, IGNACIO X MR WONDER, IT'S CALLED GRUMPYPANTS, AND I JUST THOUGHT IT'LL BE CUTE, IDK. YOU CAN DO IT WITH OR WITHOUT THE SHIP, I DON'T MIND)

Okaaay, we got some asks on Mr Wonder 'n Ignacio's relationship so let's answer them together shall we?

⚠️ SILLY RAMBLING AHEAD ⚠️

I'll address the second ask first— Ignacio's age is something that's kinda confusing and kinda differs from person to person— but lemme just break down how I see Ignacio's age in relation to Mr Wonder, using my personal hcs— so. Everyone knows I ship Ignacio and Gregor. I hc Iggy to be in the same age group as Gregor if not a bit younger— (I don't have a solid age for him, I just categorize him in my brain as "old") and by the looks of it it seems like Gregor and Wonder are around the same age, so for my personal headcanons I don't think Iggy would be that much younger where he was a teen/kid while Mr Wonder was an adult?

But I do really like the idea of them knowing each other in the past, and we know Mr Wonder was a mailman in his youth so VIOLA! Mailman Ignacio— which I find to be hilarious, somebody help that man NDNDNSKSMND

Now onto the main ask!!! Mr Wonder x Iggy sounds adorable— grumpy old man x sweet old man??? Hello??? Literally a old married couple in every sense of the word.

HOWEVER.... I don't think I quite ship it

I dunno, smth about how Mr Wonder and how he's clearly lost Mrs Wonder (or at least I think he has, since we never meet her) who I imagine was the love of his life— OUUUGHH it makes me so sad. He's not a character I think I'd ship with anyone for the simple fact that he's loved and lost, and I can't picture him seeking out another after the passing of his wife.

But again, it's cute, so as a consolation for having a cute rarepair I drew some fluff for ya 💖💞

If anyone read this far— thank you! This au is incredibly self indulgent, and I'm a little embarrassed, but people tend to be supportive or at least tolerative so I hope it's not a problem 🙏🏾🫶🏾

[zakanakai]

So I did a funny spreadsheet

I wanted to count exactly how much of each sin each of the Sinners had, and how it reflects on their story.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1GiO4F1Sf8soycIDIgDc9XrpptVBIghkxaaFGRCXSOQI/edit#gid=0

Heres the Spreadsheet,

The numbers are slightly weighted; with Skill 1 being 1 point, Skill 2 being 2 points, and Skill 3 being 3 points.

more of me talking below the cutoff, if you don’t wanna click a link;

Yi Sang:

Yi Sang’s primary sin is Sloth at 11. This boy does not want to move, with Pride at 6. Noteworthy is that this boy is completely Lustless. Has a little in all the other sins, but Lust? 0. Absolutely none.

Matches his Default EGO

Faust:

Faust’s primary sin is Envy at 7, with Gloom at 6. She has a little in every sin, but the interesting detail is that None of her IDs have any sins the same as her Default ID and Ego.

Does not match her Default EGO

Don Quixote:

Don has a tie for First in her Primary Sin, with both Lust and Envy at an 8, with a schmattering in the other sins. However she has 0 Sloth and 0 Pride; This Girl moves, and is humble, even in her delusion.

Matches her Default EGO

Ryoshu:

Ryoshu has a standout primary sin in Blood Lust at a 9, while her next closest is Gluttony at a 6. This gurl has 0 in Gloom however, not depressed at all. She only had 2 in Envy before her Red Eye EGOs came out

Matches her Default EGO

Meursault:

Meursault surprised me with his primary sin being Pride at a surprising 11, with his second being Sloth at 8. While yes, his default EGO is also Pride, I don’t know, it still surprised me. This man has 0 in Gluttony however, and only 1 in Lust.

Matches his Default EGO.

Hong Lu:

Hong Lu has surprisingly high scores in both Lust and Sloth, with Lust in first at 9 and Sloth on its heels in 2nd at 8.

His last places are Envy (makes sense) and Gloom, which is default EGO is in. I would have thought he would have more in Gloom, but the chart proves me wrong.

Does not match his Default EGO

Heathcliff:

We have THE KING of Envy here! At the highest score of 12, Envy is his highest sin, but we also have a very lusty fellow here at 10. I would have thought Wrath would be his second most, but seems not.

He also has 0 in Sloth and Pride, which makes sense for how high his Envy score is.

SUPER Matches his Default EGO, like holy crap.

Ishmael:

Ishmael’s primary sin is Wrath, which you wouldn’t think when you look at her, because shes sassy, but amicable, with Gloom at 7. She has 0 sloth, which makes sense as she is constantly on the move.

With her Wrath being so high, I fear what she has in plan for Ahab.

Somewhat Matches her Default EGO.

Rodion/Rodya:

Rodya’s primary sin is Pride, matching her EGO, with Wrath in second. This makes a lot of sense with her story, and I can understand why the sins are like that. Rodya, like Ishmael, and a few others ahead, has 0 Sloth IDs as well. Which is a surprise for me, she seems like the kinda girl to relax.

Matches her Default EGO

Sinclair:

Sinclair is hella surprising in the fact that his primary sin is Wrath. While making this, I was thinking it would be Gloom, but no! Gloom isn’t even in the top 3! Its Pride in second! and Gluttony, where his Default EGO is, is in last.

Does not match his Default EGO

Outis:

Outis’s primary sin is Inconclusive. So. This is the strange one out of all the sinners. Shes mid-tier in all the sins, with three sins (Lust, Gloom, Pride) maxing out at 6. I’m pretty confused at how to interoperate the numbers.

However! She does have 0 Envy, so..? Shes not envious of any of the other sinners.

Matches? her Default Ego

Gregor:

Last one!

Gregor’s primary sin is Sloth, with Gluttony hot on its heels in second. This surprises me a bit, cause I would think it would be depression Gloom. However the poor bug man has 0 in Pride. Don’t worry bby, you’re my sad wet cat.

Matches his Default EGO.

----------------

Now to write out who has the highest in each sin!

Wrath: Ishmael at 11 Points

Lust: Heathcliff at 10 Points

Sloth: Yi Sang at 11 Points

Gluttony: Gregor at 8 Points

Gloom: Ishmael at 7 Points

Pride: Meursault at 11 Points

Envy: Heathcliff at 11 Points

Oof, that was a long post. thanks for reading the whole way through! I hope the numbers interested you like they did me.

[quohotos]

I present to you, my Magnum Opus. The Underland Chronicles rendered in the style of an early 2000s flash based point and click adventure game (the MNOG)

I have spent so long on this. Inkscape doesn't log total project time the way Krita does, but it's the most time I've spent on any single piece of vector art. Even then there's still a million things I want to go in and change but... aaaaaa you have to cut it off somewhere. I have been copy pasting rats for hours, and don't even get me started on the shadows. The shadows look good, they are not physically accurate. I tried.

Here are some bonus features!

No text overlay. Clean if you want to print it or make it a desktop background.

Close up on Solovet and Ajax I've never actually drawn Solovet, or any underlanders really. I definitely am phoning it in by framing her from behind. When it came to designing what kind of armor they'd wear I took inspiration from both Greek and Roman designs. Ajax was originally much more saturated red until @paksenarrion-dorthansdotter corrected me. The books describe him as dried blood colored. (please don't look too close at the rats they don't hold up to scrutiny)

Close up on Ripred. He looks just a little bit small and fat in this one, but that's just because he's slouching. When he stands up it all stays in his hips and ass. I always draw Ripred like he appeared on my cover of Code of Claw. The scar on his face isn't really visible from this angle because it cuts left to right and he's looking left.

Lastly, here's Gregor and Ares. There is an official design for his armor as seen on the cover of my copy of Code of Claw. I redesigned it because I thought that version looked kinda pants, tbh. Little goofy and hard to take seriously.

The great thing about vector art is you can zoom in and obsess over tiny little details that end up only being like 4 pixels wide in the final export. Case in point, these rando flyers. Such minute detail that gets flattened out to a single pixel in some cases.

Sidenote: I always imagined the flyers as more microbat inspired, which is why I draw them with tails... but these ones end up looking very flying fox-like and have also some megabat proportions. This isn't really an intentional artistic choice, it's just a compromise I had to strike to make them look decent. I need to practice drawing microbats more.

Oh well. The author isn't that descriptive about their proportions so I guess it's up to interpretation.

Lastly, here's the original sketch that I traced over. A lot of features ultimately got cut, as well as the dimensions to the side being changed. Solovet originally was going to have a braid but then I remembered that line from the first book where Luxa explains that you have to cut your hair to go to war. Ripred also looked a lot more teddy bear like in the sketch, so I ended up not even tracing him. Bane was a redraw, and I actually did trace part of Ajax and then just frehanded the rest.

If anyone is reading this far and hasn't read the underland Chronicles, now is a great time to go to your local library and pick it up. These books slap and this tiny community would love to suffer our brainrot welcome you into our fold.

Fly You High

[allwormdiet]

Interlude 5

What the hell kinda cape name is Gregor the Snail, anyhow

Man. That's gotta fucking suck that you can't even go get toothpaste or whatever without having to deal with the whole world singling you out for your appearance

Who the fuck blackmails the parahuman they're running errands for, that guy is stupid

Wow, that's. Actually I don't hate this way of talking about fat people being looked down on. Like it sucks that it happens obviously, but it does happen, and the fact that people feel uncomfortable talking about Gregor as a mutant or whatever but feel no shame in mocking him as fat is. Telling.

And it's a shame anyone has to put up with that, much less get used to it like Gregor has.

This rules actually. Get bent, assholes

Little odd to see Newter as like. A teenager who's letting people get blasted on his hallucinogenic body. Not sure what's going on there, but as long as nobody's getting hurt?

Chevalier I get, knight imagery is a classic for superheroes, but what's being referenced with Myrddin?

...Okay I checked Wikipedia and I guess Myrddin was a mad Welsh prophet and some kinda forerunner to Merlin. So is the hero Myrddin a precognitive, or does he have a wizard aesthetic going on but thought calling himself Merlin was somehow too basic?

Questions for later

Okay so he's letting people pay him to trip out on his saliva. Weird, but. Sure.

Man, that's gotta fucking suck.

Poor Elle :(

I totally forgot that "the place" was actually addressed in the interlude. Still easy money it comes up again at some point. Parahuman asylum? Something's going down there.

Interesting that she's trying to bypass the Manton effect. Even more interesting that it's technically possible to do so, but nobody understands how. Power research must be a really frustrating field to work in, huh

Fucking wild that Gregor just decided to do this and Faultline's not even pissed off about it. That's the mark of a good team, I think, or a scarily unhealthy one. Either way.

So here we have the first hints of a conspiratorial organization that sells superpowers and turns people into amnesiac monsters.

Except now they're getting better at not doing the monster part but keeping the amnesia in.

Jesus fucking Christ this is nuts, though

Concluding Thoughts

So this is Cauldron, right? As mentioned before my pre-existing knowledge of Worm is patchwork but I know Cauldron is a secret organization mucking around with power stuff and I'd be shocked if there was two of them, that'd be crazy redundant.

Which then leaves me wondering what the hell they're doing that means they're selling off superpowers. Like, that's fucking nuts. The power of demigods on tap and you use it to get rich? That's so. Prosaic.

I do like Gregor, though, much as this interlude was meant to introduce probably-Cauldron and give us insight into another Brockton Bay team, he's got an interesting perspective as the result of a unique position in the world. Even alongside other "monster capes" he stands out as different.

...I hope Newter isn't doing anything scummy when people are tranced out, I like him and I would prefer to keep liking him.

Anyway. Wrapping up Arc 5 on the next post

[neon-jackal]

Why The Twist In CoC is umm uhhh umm

Each underland chronicles book gets it's own big twist, all with varying levels of quality, but today I want to focus on the twist in Code of Claw, and why (in my humble opinion) it doesn't really work. I actually really like Code of Claw, it's my second favorite in the series behind MoS, but this is by far my least favorite part of it, and probably my least favorite part of the whole series. So why is it so... not good?

First, let's talk about what makes a twist work. I think this really comes down to 4 main factors

Does it make in-universe sense? Pretty self explanatory. It's always good to keep writing consistent with the world building & lore of the series.

Does it fit with the characterization? Beyond it making logical sense, does it fit with the writing of the story? Is it foreshadowed at all? Does it feel like something the character(s) would do? Essentially, does the audience buy it?

Does it further/change the story? Also pretty self explanatory. A twist should have impacts on future event in the series, or re-frame previous events in a new way.

Does it work with the stories' themes? This is especially important for a series like TUC. This is a series with some strong messages, so it's important not to undercut them.

Now let's look at the big twist in CoC. For any who've forgotten, the reveal in this book is that Sandwiches' prophecies are fake. Ripred tells Gregor he doesn't believe in them 5 seconds before the final battle, and Gregor decides he's probably right. So how does this do as a twist?

Does it make in-universe sense? Hard no. Sure, the prophecies can be vague, and a lot of things can be left up to interpretation, but they describe way too many things way too accurately to just be coincidence. You're telling me that a super rare plague starts going around, and they need the help of the one guy that does all the stuff, and the cure for the plague is developed in it's place of origin, and Sandwich just got a lucky guess predicting all of that to a tee? Fuck off. This just feels like such a bizarre and rushed thing to throw into the series, and it feels like something that was thought of well after most of the other books had been written.

Does it fit with the characterization? Not really. CoC establishes that Sandwich isn't a great dude, so him faking a bunch of prophecies does feel believable for him, but like I said before, all the other books treat their prophecies as legit, so this feels kinda out of place. It also feels weirdly cynical? Gregor makes tangible progress on his quests, and sees really sacrifice too, and CoC is essentially saying "all of that was for nothing". Again, this ties into my personal belief that the other 4 books weren't written with this in mind.

Does it further/change the story? Again, no, not really. Even if you do buy the twist, all of the other quests were successful, so like, what's the point? It does set up Gregor surviving the final battle, but I feel like there just would've been much better ways of doing that.

Does it work with the stories' themes? Actually, kinda, yeah. It ties into Regalia's shady government and the ways they keep order, and fits the 'forced into a destiny you don't want' thing Gregor and Bane have going on. The whole "Sandwich can't be a prophet, he's evil!" thing the book tries to do is pretty dumb though, and I feel like there were so many more interesting ideas the book could've done with this.

Now let's compare this to arguably the best twist in the series, in CotW. Does it make in-universe sense? Absolutely. It fits into the prophecy perfectly. Does if fit with the characterization? Fuck yeah! The Regalians are evil bitches, so this is 100% in character for them. Solovet especially works so well as an evil-CIA type figure. It expands really well on her talk of wanting to 'punish' the rats in PoB. Does it further/change the story? Yes on both counts! Not only does it completely re-frame the entirety of CotW, it also sets up the humans' general shittyness, which we already kinda see in PoB, but really kicks into high gear in CoC. Does it work with the stories' themes? My guy. It IS the stories' themes! It so perfectly encapsulates the gray morality and overall pointlessness of war, the shady actions of government behind the scenes, and everything else these books are trying to say, and it gets expanded on even more in the next 2 books.

Wow this post post kinda got out of hand uhh if you're still reading this thank you for listening to my ramblings and point out anything I missed in the notes. If you think I'm wrong about anything, feel free to start a giant argument in the comments.

TL;DR: CoC is very good but the twist in it is not great and CotW does it much better.

[t00nyah]

so! posting something i meant to post for a long time! also near the end(before the cut) there's gonna be a thing i spoke about in the last post and spent quite some time on it... so i would appreciate if you looked at it :")

✨my take on sinner kromer au!✨

sinner kromer aboard the mephistopheles -05/07/2023

so! in my sinner kromer au, she managed to get sinclair into nagel und hammer, but then left for seemingly no reason. she comes back after some time as a part of limbus company to see what she incubated, being way lower than he is, seeing his grateness from the bottom. but sinclair...is still terrified of her. he has no purpose except to continue what they started, but when she's gone, he's lost and just following their beliefs. he wanted to run away badly, but he couldn't get rid of the feeling that any moment, whenever he tries, she will come back. if he tries, there's no point, she'll find him. he can't run from kromer.

so when she's back, it's...terrific. for the both sides. the sinners get to see kromer's real persona, sinclair literally can't do anything with his fear of kromer, he doesn't want to.

the other sinners kinda knew that she's weird, even her friendliness felt weird, and then they learn about her unhealthy obsession with humanity. now they know why she was disgusted by gregor's hand, they know, why her gaze fell on dante so frequently during her free time, why she was so interested in their head.

now they know that she's the one to fault of this exact inquisition they witness, now they know about her manipulations over her classmate.

no one cares for her much after that, they don't even try to sympathize with her anymore. it's damn obvious that she thinks she's in the right here.

in the end, they kind of. have to get rid of kromer and take sinclair in instead, so they swap to their canon positions again! except kromer doesn't die yet and sinclair is way more fucked up now.

i've written a small uhhh fic? taking place? in 3-13 (when kromer is first heard)? here it is on google docs >>> 3-13. Silent night. (one day i'll start uploding my fics on ao3 lol)

kromer's neat haircut -05/07/2023

she also has more uhmm... carefully cut hair. sinclair did it for her. in reality, she wouldn't even care what exactly her hairstyle would be, she only cares for the fact that sinclair did this for her.

and here's a thing i reeeally wanted to show:

my cool sinner kromer sprite that i...almost entirely drew by myself not counting her head base

kromer battle sprite -06/10/2023-06/12/2023

i imagine her base skills are slash/blunt/pierce and lust/pride/wrath (well just like in the game) tho dunno what exactly they'd be, base ego is deffo lust...wonder what kind of ego could kromer manifest, knowing her distortion...

speaking of egos, there's NO reality where sinner kromer doesn't have roseate desire ego, amirite? gonna put this one under the cut for my own reasons, but there's nothing that bad, just roseate kromer, clothes stay on, nothing much

roseate desire kromer, head full of lustful thoughts -05/07/2023

thanks for reading my sinner kromer au post if you made it here:]

[tootalltech]

tbb s3 review

okay. now that i've gotten a full nine hours of sleep and am probably a bit more coherent, i'm going to give a post summarizing all my final thoughts on season 3 of the bad batch. bc while i am annoyed about the way things were handled with tech, there were absolutely parts of the season i enjoyed as well.

i LOVE royce hemlock as an antagonist and i have since he first appeared. this season continued to show just how far he's willing to go and how completely removed from any empathy or compassion he really is- all hidden behind a cold, calm, scientific front. he ties very nicely into the overarching theme of dehumanization in this show, whether with the clones or the force-sensitive kids he captured. all in all, he's very evil and very cool and i didn't dislike anything they did with him. not even his death (bc get fucked poison boy and also he died about the same way tech did which was very much deserved). 10/10 no notes.

on the subject of tech's death though. it was very frustrating to me that they didn't show crosshair finding out. i feel like it's still very unclear when he even did; i was questioning if he knew or not by maybe the 3rd or 4th episode based off the exchange between him and omega about tech having her memorize all the plans. crosshair discovering he's dead could have been a good moment between him and omega, it could have been a good moment where we get to see just how much he misses his brothers and feels bad about everything if he somehow finds out alone while still imprisoned at tantiss, it could have been a good moment between him and HUNTER if it was discovered before they worked things out a bit more and it would have been a bigger catalyst for their fighting in "the return", etc etc etc. i don't think there was any good reason to just have crosshair find out at some point offscreen. that is his brother.

i thought the cameos from characters we've seen in earlier seasons were generally cool. fennec shand showing up pretty much made sense seeing as the batch already kinda knew of her so i thought that one was fun. cad bane seemed a LITTLE unnecessary (like it could've been another bounty hunter and nothing would have changed) but i didn't hate it. ventress was cool i'm glad omega has a new lesbian aunt and i thought it was funny when the batch decided they were gonna try and fight her because that was SO OBVIOUSLY not going to end well for them.

and then doing a separate thing for other clones bc thats really its own category. i loved seeing howzer again i missed howzer <3 rex is always a winner. wolffe's thing was cool although i feel like he's going to die now? like. if anyone ever found out that he just let them go. yk? and then we got to see gregor for like .2 seconds but whatever. in true tbb fashion the only other named reg clones on the batch's side that we met died or were never seen again within 1-2 episodes. which is fine. it is called the bad batch. no matter how much it functions more as a tcw sequel show...

speaking of the tbb/tcw world though. echo. is just. i don't understand why they make the choices they make with him. him helping rex makes sense, but he also has a good dynamic with the bad batch (especially tech honestly) and he's a part of their squad? like. this is really more of a renewed complaint from season 2 because it continued into this season but. why have him join clone force 99 if he's then going to leave again and just kind of exist in the background occasionally halfway through the clone force 99 show? i wish we saw more of him in season 3. especially after they lost tech, i feel like there was a way writing-wise to have him be with them more. if some corny "we need to stick together" shit is what it takes then so be it. BECAUSE THEY DO.

i'll go back to antagonists now. I LOVED THE ENTIRE PLOT LINE WITH RAMPART. for one thing, the beard looked GOOD on him. he was a dramatic bitch the entire time he was with the batch and his dynamic with them was hilarious. like hemlock, he died in a very deserved way, although i did see someone else say that his death didn't really make sense and i'm... inclined to agree. like, nala se isn't ever going to be redeemed in many fans' eyes and i don't think what they did with her in the finale was going to cut it. and rampart. GET OUT OF THERE DUDE. why would he be so interested in that data all of a sudden? especially given that he famously DOES NOT LIKE CLONES. why would he care? i know he wanted to bargain with the empire, but come on, that would never work and was a pretty stupid idea. it really did just seem like a moderately lazy way to try and show nala se doing something good while killing a villain in the process. i have no qualms with rampart dying, but why not have him die as a result of like. refusing to side with the clones or something? that would make more sense than him making a really dumb decision when he's supposed to be a smart guy. he didn't make it to vice admiral on looks alone remember!

and now for the cx-2/tech rant. i might make this into its own post, but for now what i'll say is that it simply would've made so much sense to have that goddamn operative clone be tech. we never saw his body. hemlock literally taunted the batch about this, which is SO something he would do if he HAD TECH. hemlock had a very hard-to-kick habit of doing weird science fuckery which would ABSOLUTELY lead to him trying to make tech into one of his operatives if he had him. we already know that the clones he tried to condition into being his operatives with this deep-cover program did not have to be willing to do it at all, because he tried it with crosshair. and we know that if the conditioning took, the clones would "come out different", so it would make PERFECT sense for tech to BE CX-2 and have no qualms whatsoever about hurting his old squad and a kind of different voice. like, look what happened to crosshair's hand. there are clearly physical side effects, and the process didn't even work on him. there were also tons of similarities between tech and cx-2 in my opinion, and all in all it just would've been a good choice narratively. he even could've stayed dead! like i said. i'll make a separate post.

finally, i feel like i should devote some rambling to tantiss, crosshair, hunter, wrecker, and omega. in the same way that i liked hemlock, i thought most of the choices with tantiss and the connections to omega were very cool this season. i think they handled crosshair coming back decently although it could've been a little more fleshed out. i liked that crosshair immediately became omega's fifth dad. i liked batcher! and omega's doll going to eva! all the force-sensitive kids were really cute and i liked them. emerie karr was like. alright i guess? i didn't find myself ever really caring about her a bunch but her story still made sense. and onto the male clones, i do feel like narratively they haven't really known what to do with wrecker for a while besides have him like. blow things up. which is unfortunate because i really enjoy him. then again it's just also not always an incredibly deep show and they are all clones who don't know how to talk about their feelings which i've been saying for a while now <3. i liked hunter going back to defending crosshair in "infiltration" and wrecker's "just like old times!" callback in the same episode. and i REALLY like omega becoming a rebel pilot, i think that makes a lot of sense for her and it also is, of course, sweet because tech taught her how to fly and all that. and finally, the scene with older hunter and omega itself was nice although i think they could've had crosshair, wrecker, and echo there. we all know hunter is the main dad, but he's not the ONLY one and the others are also very important. but oh well...

in conclusion. i do still absolutely adore this show and all of these characters. season 3 did not give me everything i wanted but it wasn't necessarily bad either. and i have to acknowledge that i am very biased and never going to get over them killing off tech so i mostly just can't think about that and have to live in denial. but anyway. season 3 was a mostly solid end to a show that started off so strongly i made a tumblr for it, and i will always love the bad batch for being my first ever hyperfixation and the show that really got me back into star wars <3

[sailinginstars]

‼️ TBB SEASON FINALE SPOILERS ‼️

man

oh my GODDDDD im actually crying and screaming they did so good😭😭

i. just. wow. ok so.😭 FIRST so glad people were right about this being an hour long episode theres genuinely no way it could’ve been 25 mins. seeing omega already having escaped before anyone could reach her was awesome shes so skilled love her. AND ECHO AND EMERIE WORKING TOGETHER i love them they’ve both been brainwashed by the opposite side and seeing them fight for a better future for everyone else is so touching.

SO SURPRISED NO ONE DIES THANK GODDDD

ANYWAYS OMEGA RELEASED THE ZILLO BEAST WOOOOOO‼️‼️ ECHO SAYING THATS WHAT HE WOULDVE DONE!!! echo is literally her mom im crying😭 erm the really long ladder the kids had to climb up was a mgs3 reference guys☝️ ANYWAYS THE TORTURE SCENE HELLO 🙏🙏 i love men screaming 🫶

UGHHHH NALA SE I KNEW YOU WERE NEVER EVIL. she was so real for taking out rampart with her MAN FUCK RAMPART i kinda thought he changed lmao😭

GRRR OK SO THE FIGHG BETWEEN ECHO AND WRECKER VS THE TWO TROOPER LORRRRD, i was literally on the edge of my fucking seat the whole time i thought they were COOKED so many times. OH also crosshair loosing a hand OH MY GOD???

the bridge scene. GODDDDDD like i KNEW hemlock wasnt going to shoot omega but i was still so scared. AND CROSSHAIR MADE THE SHOT WOOOOO. scorch tho😭😭 so sad to see him go🙏 BUT THEY KILLED HEMLOCK HELL YEA‼️‼️ uhm also hunter with his hair wet⁉️⁉️

ANYWAYSSSS everyone made it home safe (well mot crosshairs’s hand but oh well, now him and echo match) nice to see clones looking sorta domestic and not in a war setting lmao. and like i get why echo is leaving but😒 MAMA ECHO PLEASE STOP LEAVING OH MY GOD JUST STAY ON SCREEN IM BEGGING YOU. reallllly hope we get some kinda show about him, rex, wolffe, and gregor and the whole clone rebellion thing PLEASE WHAT HAPPENED WITH WOLFFE⁉️

sobbbbb hunter, cross, wrecker, omega, and batcher just resting im tearing up. they literally just get to be family now im so happy

now the last few minutes…

I SCREAMEDDDD WE WERE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE TIMESKIP IM SOOOKK GRATEFUL tbh i did get nervous seeing the panover pabu but as SOON as i saw omega ik what was happening 😭😭 OLD MAN HUNTER IM SCREAMING HE LOOKS SO GOOD (he also looks strangely like blackbeard from ofmd lmao) he def has dad bod ill die on that hill😭 they both looks so happy and domestic i cant OMEGA GOING OFF TO FIGHT IN THE REBELLION I CANTTT shes def going to see hera again thats so sweet. ughhhh hunter worrying over her hes such a dad GOD. but anyways this moment was so sweet, been missing the hunter-omega relationship this season so this had me tearing up and shi😭

TECHS GOGGLES ON THE SHIP… i knew tech wasnt gonna come back, it would’ve taken away from his sacrifice but i would’ve loved to see him again. lowkey surprised we didn’t get a cx-2 reveal, people thought he was tech, cody, a clone specifically of crosshair, dogma, fucking slick. (real ones know cx-2 is actually fives hes not dead guys TRUST!!11!!1111!!11!!)

anyways god that was such a satisfying ending and im VERY pleased, crazy how this season had NO bad ep. incredibly sad this show is over tho. this show has been on my mind constantly for the past three years im so sad to see it go but im also see happy we got to see these characters lives play out in such a beautiful way. sorry for this being essay length i just had a LOT of thoughts about this ep.

for the last time, anywaysss. (also this is not proofread sorry for any grammatical errors lol) this ep was amazing and the team did WONDERFULLY!! good bye bad batch😢

[eggsploded]

for tthe character thing... spar eheathcliff thoughts perhaps

he hath been requested like... a billion times so here we go

initial impression: dude was a little scary like. he immediately kills sinclair right off the bat (-2) and clearly was ready to clobber everyone else if not for vergil. then the second flashbang of his translated cockney accent is so. i wasnt expecting projmoon to pull out the mingin

current impression: a standup guy if you can excuse his behavior 40 times in one day. he cares so fucking much for his favorite buslings (with many gripes attached) and its great to see him get drinking buddies after uhhhh whatever happens in wuthering heights lol. his input to being put in any situation ever is probably the thing im looking forward to most whenever they move location

favorite moment: i really love his dynamic with faust especially canto 4 when she starts actually listening to him and going wayment.. hes making some points actually. heath is right faust IS having a cromulent fuckcrustable of a day. theyre kinda a parallel to ryoshu and sinclairs translator duo and its fun. and now that yi sang is out there.. sangin hell have to play straightman (literal?) even more when buddy breaks into poetry over his daily sunlight enrichment. hey socrates its a fucking cookie, but he means it with love + another good moment is in hells chicken with meur where he successfully peels potatoes with a spoon and instead of getting chastised meur approves of this method and he just goes CLASS!!!

story idea: they should have a room with a bunch of pots for him to smash like link itd be good for him

fav relationships: i dont have any ships for him cuz of catherine or whatever but even then i dont really feel anything Romantical for the guy but DAMN is the bloke making enemies and chums. theres gregor which is like his undisputed favorite bus member not only because hes just a fuckin guy but he also happens to be comically small. despite caving sinclairs head that one time they have made amends and he calls him little lad now. outis is terrifying and begets respect and fearful awe. he and rodya are both outskirts food connoisseurs and can bond over a big fuckoff burger, a beer, and hyping up their boy greg. and briefly before canto 3 i like to believe he pointed out yi sang as the smart guy in the group as a petty slight against faust cuz she was looking down on him. theyre both cool now though. now for the most interesting part. heath and ishmael are CLAWING and MAIMING eachother. the beef is seriously crazy. but they both like meur so theres even more tension on the playground because that guys MY buddy. HE would drink with me (he has a cup of wine if he must) no he would drink with ME. theres claw and bitemarks on their bus seats. and meur does not do a thing, for he logged out long ago staring at the ceiling in perfect unmoving fashion. and he wouldnt choose to hang out with don first thing because its hard to not punch her, but he cant just not respect the huge joust action as a guy with a stupid large bat.

fav headcanon: i think hes got little reading glasses and pulls them out when theyre passing around the newest assignment or menu. hes more scholarly than actual schoolboy sinclair to me

[originalwinnercheesecake]

So what do people actually think the background characters in the Underland chronicles look like

Just wondering. From all the (amazing) Fan art I have seen of Gregor , Lizzie, and Boots the fandom seems to have a pretty cohesive Idea on what they look like. Luxa also seems to have a pretty standard image in the fandom (Though wasn't she on the cover of the first design of MOS) with the only differentiation being how far along she is in puberty. Reminder if she was in the overland she would be in the sixth grade.

Other characters though Like really what do people think they look like. In my head Mrs. Cormaci is a plump/rounder women and I thought for years I had read that in the books until I saw fanart of her being drawn as more slim. Then I reread part of TPOB and was like Oh it never says what shape she is, I guess I just thought she was bigger because she is always cooking so much rich sounding food for charities. Then I remember seeing some one post once that what if she was Hazard's maternal grandmother. His maternal grandparents live in NYC, and Mrs.Cormaci is mentioned to have had a daughter.

Well that is bitter sweet because on one had that means that Mrs. Cormaci's daughter has been missing for years and in fact died without her mother ever knowing what happened to her (she also would not have known when her father died). Gotta then wonder if Mrs.Cormaci giving Lizzie her daughters old cloths is more than just her trying to help the Campbells while also declutter her house. But that also means Hazard has at least one Grandma who is really grand, if this relation was ever realized then maybe Hazard could come up to the overland for visits and stay with Mrs. Cormaci. Also she would probably have pictures of her daughter that she could show Hazard so he could remember what his mom looked like. Anyway I really liked this theory and wanted it to be cannon, but then i realized that since Hazard's overland features are his black hair and green eyes his overland relations probably have them to, and was like oh wow I never pictured Mrs.Cormaci having green eyes.

Another character I think about is Vikus. In my head the males in the underland Henry, Mareth, York all have short close cropped hair because they fight so much. Or in Howard's a short stack of wavy/curly locks cut just short enough to stay out of his eyes when wet. I do love the fan art I have seen of Henry with long hair though. But When It comes to Vikus , I guess since he seeks peace and is better relations, I usually imagine him with long grey hair and a long beard. to me he winds up looking kinda like men in biblical stories. Solovet however is muscled with a near shaved head. She is on the small side and slouches a bit when trying to appear as a gracious hostess and that plus her wrinkles make her seem non dangerous. When she is in planing/battle mode though she stands perfectly straight and those seemingly kindly wrinkles disappear, and she just looks completely terrifying.

Dulcet and Nerissa are other cases. Dulcet is described as being shy and very pretty. But as someone who works in childcare I can say with certainty that her hair is most likely a mess, her simple cloths likely have stains and crayon markings all over them. This girl is a beautiful mess. Then we have Neressa whom everyone knows is a mess. Since she is constantly described as wide eyed, tired, frail, to thin, and wearing her long hair a loose pony tail. But I don't often see it acknowledged that she canonically wears multiple layers of cloths at once or that her cloths never match.

I said most of the men in the underland would have short hair, could Hamnet have grown his hair out longer in the jungle, to try and make himself look different from how he did as a solider. Likewise I also imagine his lizard skin cloths being frayed and raggedy at the edges, much different from whatever military uniforms regalians wear. Anything to help hims see something different when he looks into the water. Can we talk about how when Gregor first meets Howard he describes him as tall and really strong, Then during his time with the plague Howard looses like 20 pounds and has scars wear ever he had bumps. Howard likely could not even fit into his old cloths after getting better.

What do Gregor's parents look like. We know they are both thin and tired. His dad's hair has gone completely white. Grace's cannot be to far behind with how hard she works and being in a state of constant worry for her family. Do fans still Agree with the theory that Grace is white and the Dad is black?

Also one more thing. Why does everyone think any of the underlanders that haven't completely greyed over have silver-blond hair. Like I know Luxa has that shade. Luxa would also probably be blonde if she has been born i t he overland. But it only specified that a silver tint was part of what distinguished the underlanders. Personally I always thought they could have any hair color (examples I imagine Howard being brunette and Mareth having black hair) but that it would always be paler than an overland counter part.

Like I know and respect that the characters descriptions are vague on purpose, and that the fun is that we can imagine them looking in so many different ways. But like really how do people imagine their favorites look. What little we get implies that the characters do not fall into the young adult novels trope of making them all look super hot. They are scared, beat up, anxious, and some are wearing cloths that do not fit them, some are missing body parts. To me that makes them infinetly more fun to imagine than most YA novel characters

So seriously if you have any strong clear/headcannons as to what you think certain human characters look like, please share them int he comments.

[azreactstowormtheserial]

I should probably do this at more regular intervals! [5.7-6.X]

Guess how I spent my sunday afternoon! I'll try and do this every, like, 3 chapters, maybe? Because fuck, there's a lot to talk about. Let me try and do it in order. Arc 5 (.7 onwards) So, the Lung rematch honestly took me by surprise. The whole arc did, really? Going from a pretty depressing but harshly real depiction of what happens to girls like Taylor, to 'Fuck it, let's fuck shit up', to Lung is back! Already! It's Arc 5! I was so sure his escape and reappearance was going to be a big thing the characters dreaded and came back to bite them at the last moment, but-- And yeesh, was 5.9 a chapter. There's a certain passage in the introductory page for Worm: "Morality isn’t black and white, Taylor and her acquaintances aren’t invincible, the heroes aren’t winning the war between right and wrong ..." Every fight has me at the edge of my seat. Last year for me's been pretty brutal for media depicting major-character-deaths like it's no big deal-- and the moment Lung came back, I was so sure someone was dead. I thought it might've been-- and after the interlude, real glad it wasn't-- Newter. But somehow, everyone managed to get off scott-free. And after the fiasco that was Arc 6-- we'll get there!-- I just don't know how long this'll last. Even for the Undersiders. Which makes me want to predict deaths. I think because of the phrasing of the opening page, I know that Taylor is the POV character as a standard, and interludes are the exception. So unless this does some huge POV-shift, I think she's safe. From death, not from anything else. I am not entertaining the thought of Lisa's death. Brian and Alec, though? I don't know. I don't know about Alec at all, actually. He's kind of a scary guy? Horrifyingly subtle power, but really scarily applied in Arc 6. He's low-key one of the strongest, at least potential wise, in The Undersiders. I think Brian is going to have more story to him, now that his past's all been laid out? But later on, I just can't say. I really hope he doesn't, he means a lot to Taylor, and he's a good shoulder to lean on. Rachel-- 'Bitch'? I can't remember if she prefers one or the other... -- is a little harder to talk about. It was hard to like her after how she introduced herself! Mauling the POV character practically unprovoked isn't a good first impression. But, like Taylor's described, I feel, she's started to grow on me. Arc 5 touched on her character and personality in a nice way. I'd already started to sympathize with her come the end of Arc 4, rather than just view her as a begrudingly amazing tool for the team, but the dynamic between her and Taylor in Arc 5 was peak. She gave her her jacket!

Arc 5 Interlude This is really sweet! It left Arc 5 off on a high note. 'Kinda. I don't know what to make of the 5.X interlude. It was interesting. Newter was nice to see again. Flatline was intriguing to get a closer look at. Gregor is a strange person, but so-- I don't know if blunt is the right word, but 'sincere'-- almost refreshingly so given the web of deception going on in every other Arc-- that I liked him by the end. What I don't know what to make of in particular is the tattoos. Does it imply that there's a different-type of origination for parahuman powers? Is it artificial? I don't know! But I'm interested in finding out! Arc 6 Anyway, that was what, 4 chapters' thoughts? Let's talk about Arc 6. I started off my liveblog talking about how one of the most interesting plot threads was the growing inner-struggle Taylor has of working with The Undersiders and having agreed to double-cross them. Something I neglected to mention as well, was Taylor's dad, Danny. Straight from the get-go, both of these are the spotlight. They almost seem to slowly be intertwining the further the Arc goes on-- something I felt especially towards the end, and a final decision Taylor makes. If it wasn't painfully clear already, I like how this arc brings to the forefront how muddy the line between traditional 'good and evil' is. Armsmaster is blatantly not-good. He does not seem to value what is right and what is wrong, and-- while we do not see inside his mind-- Taylor does, and that his reputation is above all else is very telling. Luckily, he gets what he deserves. Cue my favorite passage of the serial so far:

Actually has me grinning while reading this chapter. It is unlikely Armsmaster is the only Hero that isn't all too much of one. I'm certainly not the most researched on the subject, but the parallels between Heroes and the Cops of today seem to be a major theme. With Coil entering the picture-- and, what a fucking reveal, by the way!-- I can't imagine this idea is going to take a backseat any time soon. I don't know much about Coil, and by his own words, he is not a good person. But as the only person striving for meaningful change-- whether his methods are morally sound or not-- I think I'd feel more comfortable with Skitter under his wing than, say, Armsmaster's. From his actions and his one-chapter-of-glory alone, he's a character I'm interesting in looking out for. Arc 6 made me cry! This will likely be a running theme, as I'm warned. 6.9 in particular is where it got me. That shit was crushing. As someone that struggles with anger, I admire Danny for keeping as collected as he did given the circumstance. He really does love her, and it's awful that Taylor's gotten so deep into things so quickly that she just can't be honest with him. Not until he knows what she is, and what she does. I thought Danny and Taylor's relationship was going in a healthy direction, after the incident in the mall, but I think that was just far too wishful thinking, with how everything was going to play out. ..Conversely, it looks like Taylor is figuring herself out. Writing that letter I think finally helped her analyse what she was doing, what she cared about, and what she wanted-- contextualized after finally learning about Coil and his intentions, and everything she and The Undersiders'd been through up until now. It was a powerful moment-- burning it especially. And maybe my favorite ending to an arc so fa-- Oh! Wait! There's an interlude! This is horrifying! It sure didn't shy down from takes about law and justice! The idea of a Rogue is interesting, and one I didn't even consider in the context of the world just yet. Apparently, the world's still working on that front, too. 'Making an example' of someone in a legal context is terrifying enough. That example being that the use of powers in any altercation, if you aren't grinning and willing to be part of the governments personal army of upholding the status quo, is LIFE IMPRISONMENT IN THE MONSTER DUNGEON-- like, fuck. If this is the system Heroes are defending, it's a little bit beyond muddied good and evils, it's a swamp.

Here is a bisexual Newter as a treat for making it this far among my ramblings. (thank you, mischievious magpie.) I'm sorry that they're so -rambly-! I had a lot of thoughts, and couldn't even get all of them down! Like, here's a few more bonus-thoughts: -The way Taylor via Newter-poison fucking owned Lung was rad as hell! - This!

But, yeah. I just wanted to get this out so I could keep going this evening, and on my walk. I'll stop again at 7.4-ish, and write my thoughts so this doesn't happen again. I certainly won't do more than an arc at a time. Az out!

[obey-me-headquarters]

I've started playing Limbus Company and omg it's SO good!! The art is fucking fantastic, like no joke the best art I've seen in a mobile game in a LONG time!! Wtf Project Moon where did you get the money for this??

Anyway, I'm not too far in. I'm in the first dungeon. I really vibe with the characters! There's kind of a lot of them, so it's hard to have hard opinions about any of them. But I know that my favorite character is Dante!!

God Dante is PEAK character design! Before I played the game I saw a sceneshot of Dante sitting in a character and thought they were like, the final boss or some important character because their design fucks so hard. But nope!! You get to play as them!! Aren't we so luckily!!

God, their aesthetic? Amazing. The ticking click, the bright red suit, etc. I really love how gender neutral they are too! Besides using they/them pronouns they're build is also very androgynous which I appreciate!

The story is also really really good, from what I've seen so far.

The only downside or criticism I have of the game is the constant battles. There's not a good battle to story ratio, and I often end up feeling frustrated when I get like 5 lines before being thrown into another battle. I feel like the developers could have taken out half the battles and there would still be a lot. You can't even do all the battles in one go and then go back to read the story like in Obey Me. I found myself on multiple occasions stopping playing just because I got so fed up with how many battles there are.

Anyway, really like the characters! I feel like the developers kinda had a set plan and story for each character, which I really like! There's also lots of characters to choose from! My favorite so far are of course, my darling Dante. Vergilius is also so baby girl coded. Like, he's an old tired man looking after a group of rambunctious adults, how could I not love him?!? I also caught the reference to Dante's inferno, very clever.

I also really like Faust! She's amazing, adore her. And omg Outis!! You're so straight laced! I found myself liking her more and more as time goes on. She's the only one who respects Dante's "authority" and I love that. I also really like Gregor, my other baby girl. I love how he tries to be nice but it's obvious he's kinda out of practice.

I love Meursault, even though I haven't seen much of him. Idk, I just love stoic characters! (I wanna overwhelm him with pleasure. Make him cry for it.) And Don is just adorable. Like her energy. I also just love the look of Yi Sang, even though I haven't seen much of him in game yet. Idk, I think it's the tired eyes that makes me want to take care of him.

Anyway, as yall can probably tell I love a lot these characters I lot. We I get further into the game I might write some smut for them.

[asjjohnson]

Part 10 of my poll adventure fic. Links: the beginning, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9.

---

Danny walked with Sam and Tucker toward his first class.

Just as he started to step through the doorway, Sam touched his arm.

"Wait, Danny, I should warn you..." she said, and searched Danny's face as though she was about to tell him bad news. "A new transfer student was introduced yesterday while you were gone."

His ghost sense had gone off partway through class yesterday and he'd spent a long time searching for the ghost before finally giving up, missing the last few hours of school.

Danny tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Okay? And... there's more to this, isn't there?"

Sam and Tucker looked at each other for a moment, Sam giving Tucker a pleading look, before they both turned back to Danny.

Tucker said, "You remember Gregor?"

Danny frowned. "He's back?"

"Well, noooo..."

"But he does kinda resemble him."

"Okay, whatever. One more thing to think about," Danny said with a tired sigh, and then walked into the classroom.

With a quick glance around, he saw a head of white—or maybe platinum blond?—hair. The boy had his head down, writing something in a notebook.

So that's the kid Sam and Tucker were worried about.

He wasn't sure what his friends thought about him—whether they thought he could be a GIW operative, or some other kind of spy, or maybe even a ghost in disguise... or if they'd just wanted to remind Danny that Gregor hadn't been any of the above. But he would be prepared, whatever the case was.

Danny sat in his own seat, and pushed the transfer student to the back of his mind for now.

He talked with Sam and Tucker for a few seconds. Then Valerie came into the room, looking tired.

Just after she sat down, Danny heard something buzz. She tensed and glanced toward the door with a frown, leaning forward slightly, as though preparing to leap from her seat.

"Good morning, class!"

Danny turned to see Lancer walk through the door. Lancer sat down and sorted a few stacks of papers on the desk, before looking up and beginning to call roll.

Danny started paying attention as Lancer neared his name.

"Dan Phantom?"

Danny startled, his desk rising an inch and slamming back to the floor.

He opened his mouth, but before he could say, "I'm not Phantom!" a voice behind him said, "Here."

Danny snapped his head around.

Green eyes lazily met his.

Danny stared, mouth still hanging open. It was like looking in a mirror.

"Danny Fenton?"

One eyebrow, above the green eyes, rose in question.

Danny's shin was kicked and he turned back around.

"Danny Fenton."

"Oh! I'm here!"

"Tucker Foley?"

"Here."

"Valerie Gray?"

"Present—can I use the bathroom?!"

Lancer pinched his nose and sighed. "Fine, but"—Valerie ran toward the door—"be back in fifteen minutes this time!"

Danny wondered where Valerie was going. His ghost sense hadn't gone off earlier.

But his thoughts turned back to the 'transfer student'.

He didn't know what was going on. Danny's eyes kept nervously glancing the kid's way, though he didn't seem to notice. Why did he look just like him?! Why was he here?! Was he him somehow?! What was happening?!

Lancer finished taking attendance and said, "Now, today we'll be reading pages—"

A ghost flew by the windows. And Danny's ghost sense activated.

He raised his hand. "Uh, Mr. Lancer, I also need to use the bathroom." His voice was higher than usual, still freaking out about the white-haired green-eyed kid that looked and sounded exactly like his ghost half.

Lancer looked skyward. "Fifteen minutes, Mr. Fenton. Fifteen."

He let out a sigh of relief as he ran from the room.

---

“Alert me when there’s an update” list:

@charlietheepic7, @chrysanthemum9484, @mymadmedleyw, @dp-marvel94, @aikoiya, @whydouwantmyname, @cinturon-cadena, @freakofyournature, @satanicrutialspecialist, @danphantom80, @kaezer, @chipsyay

(if you want on the list, specifically ask to be alerted for updates in a tag or comment. Ask again if I forget to add you! If I can’t tag you, I’ll send a Message.)

[ava-monstrum]

LCB CH01 [8]? Overal thoughts

I forgot to say my overall thoughts on Limbus Company so, here it is (I'm copying this from my twitter post). This doesn't spoil anything story specific btw

I would say that the biggest appeal has to be the story and characters. The main cast of sinners are so chaotic and have distinctive personalities (besides Mersault but that’s aggressively the point). It’s clear we’re supposed to love this dysfunctional group and unwrap the story around them. Dante (who we play as) was a pleasant surprise considering that I wasn’t sure he would have a personality. If you follow me you should know my fav is Gregor.

And add to that a strange and twisted world that I’ve heard is super expansive with lore and world building, yeah, I’m super stoked for what’s in the future.

For the gameplay, Im not super knowledgeable on how to analyze gameplay but I found it fun for the most part. It’s a bizarre mix of fast and easy gameplay that makes you feel like a monster, only to suddenly hit a difficulty wall and get the team obliterated.

There are also A LOT of mechanics that at first don’t seem to affect the gameplay until you hit those difficulty spikes.

It’s a very wordy game, not just in story but also those mechanics. From status effects, random coin tosses, and gathering material for your ultimate attack, the game felt a bit overwhelming, even the tutorial didn’t quite help me understand the hud. I had to actually look into guides on YouTube to help me out, especially in Chapter 3.

I don’t really mind cause following the game, at lot of people talked about how this was standard for project moon games.

But it might be a bit much for some players. It’s definitely not a casual game for quick fun. Battles may take awhile, especially against abnormalities (monsters). You’re going to have to grind once you get to chapter 3 (trust me). And certain fights will wipe the floor with you if you don’t take the time to read the mechanics and make a solid team.

Now as for fairness, i haven’t spent any money on the game. And so far I’ve been fairing well. The base characters are actually pretty useful and I’ve been using them more than the ones I got from the gatcha (except for g-corp Gregor, I love him)

So yeah, the game will take up a lot of time but I haven’t found it unfair or tedious so far. But I’ll have to see how that changes as the game goes forward.

To be honest, I kinda feel like I would have tolerated bad gameplay if it meant unlocking more story. Its that charming.

So, cause twitters character limit sucks, I’m very happy with the game so far. I’ve been following its development for a while, and it’s given me everything I wanted from it.

I wish I could add more detail but I think this is a good explanation for now.

It may be a bit intimidating for some, but it’s free so there’s no harm in trying it out.

You may need some outside help to grasp how the game works, but that means we can all suffer together /s.

So, if you wanna delve into a dark but charming game, give it a try.

Just heed the content warnings though, there’s some dark themes, imagery that may be disturbing, and body horror.

[the-exhausted-xexandaler]

It’s not often that I get to spend such a long amount of time with my now 15 year old

daughter Rebecca. Usually she’s being taken care of by either her mom or some nanny that she calls ‘Uncle Gregor’. I’m honestly surprised that I was able to get this week to go camping with my precious angel, but I think it’s more because Rachel (my exwife) had a conference to attend and the nanny was otherwise engaged.

Anyways, my daughter was always a hyperactive little monkey, and her ADHD (a condition she was diagnosed with as a child but Rachel just refuses to believe she has) really hampered her ability to focus on menial tasks like setting up tents, so I assigned her the task of finding a Unicorn. I told her the legend that a mysterious creature with the body of a horse and a horn was said to roam around this area, so she should go search the area for any clues, which she was oddly excited to do.

Well…

I look at the animal Becky brought with her with confusion. H-how in the hell did she find an actual unicorn in modern times? Actually… looking closer at it.

I shudder. ‘Um… Becky… how did you find a Bicorn? I thought the legend said the creature had ‘a horn’, not two.’

‘Mr. Horsy had a horn but then I touched him then he had another horn shoot out of his skull like ‘Shloom!’ and now he is a two horn Unicorn! So he’s super cool and rare now!’ Becky says in her typical excited voice. I can’t believe she’s done this.

I sigh. ‘Becky. I told you to just look for clues… how did you not only find the beast, but corrupt it into a Bicorn? Please tell me what is happening.’ I honestly have no idea what’s going on. First time I get to be with my daughter for more than a day in 10 years, and she both finds and corrupts a being of purity.

‘Uncle Gregor taught me mahica that help with finding things like lost keys, pocket change, el chupa cabre, skeletons and mummies and fresh eggs. Mom likes the fresh eggs search because it means we can have more omlettes for longer.’

‘Ho-ho-hold up kiddo… Your Nanny taught you how to use magic?’

Becky’s face brightens up even more than usual. Oh boy here comes her excited mode.

‘Yeah! Uncle Gregor is super cool! He can make fire come out of his mouth and he teaches me all kind of things like summoning and bone magic and portal creation and and and-‘

‘Wait a minute kiddo… did you just said Bone magic? Like dark magic kinda bone magic?’

‘Idk about dark, but Uncle Gregor taught me how to make a necklace out of rhe ‘bones of the demand’ or something. It helps keep away the spooky guys who have been following me to school.’

…

I’m going to have to have a word with Rachel about this nanny she’s letting teach our little angel occult magics.

“Look daddy I found one!” You told your daughter to go look for a unicorn to keep her busy while you set up the tent, you didn’t expect her to succeed.