#my first con review part one

[lightofraye]

Wales Comic Con (Part One)

Honestly, so much has happened, I don't know if I'll ever be able to capture it in its entirety. I know, a 50-minute panel and just a ton of photos, shouldn't be that hard to cover, right? You'd be surprised.

It's taking second and third looks at the photos. Finding tweets, posts, etc, by fans about the event. Listening to the panel alone will take days. Especially as there's making sure we understand what was said, who said it, and so on.

Then there were the surprising post-panel photos that we didn't see until later. Such as the Ackles stopping by the Sheppard's place in England before the Ackles split up and heading to their respective destinations.

Jensen went alone to Austin to likely rest up and prepare for an intense time at the convention. Danneel went to do whatever the hell she does, while I'm sure the kids went with the nanny back to Connecticut.

First impressions?

Jensen looked stressed. Tired. The tension was painfully obvious, though he tried at times with some fans, judging from the photos I've managed to see and find. There was one known wildly inappropriate moment with a fan for a photo shoot and I could not believe that they tried to ask Jensen to do this.

He is not your fucking monkey to pose and dance and sing as you like, goddammit.

And for everyone who claimed to be a fan, I saw way too many completely missing all the signs of exhaustion, stress, and strain. I mean...

His jaw is so tense it's completely changed the shape of his face. That smile isn't genuine, and more like a clenched jaw situation.

But sure. He's doing great. (Did you hear the sarcasm in that?)

Danneel also just does not look great. Layers and layers of makeup, to the point where you can't even see her skin texture (which is normal, by the way!). Also, why was she wearing a turtleneck and long coat and everything when it was warm as hell, according to followers who lived in the UK region? Yes, yes, Jensen wore long sleeves on Saturday, but it looked thin and lighter compared to what Danneel wore.

Also: Danneel... honey? The 80s called, they want their shoulder pads back.

Not even the group photo with the panel changed much. (Though, hilariously, a number of people thought Samantha Smith was younger than Danneel and that Danneel was in her 50s.)

Nor did the trip at the Sheppard's. Jensen still had that tension. Even Sarah had this... odd placement of her hand on Danneel's shoulder, as if twitching in discomfort.

Only once Jensen was at the airport and the two fan photos surfaced, did I see a bit of relaxation. It's still too obvious in between his brows, though. I hope some real rest, peace, and his true friend, Jared, will he be able to relax.

[sassysnowperson]

How Not to Read Terry Pratchett's Discworld Novels

With the very exciting fantasy books poll bracket going on Discworld and how to read it is in the zeitgeist again. I figured I would take a crack at adding to this important topic with a guide drawn from my own chaotic mess of a reading journey:

Learn that Terry Pratchett is a fantasy author that several people whose reading taste you admire enjoy. He apparently blends comedy, good plotting, and a world that is both grounded and satirical and you're a big fan of all those things.

Fabulous! Decide to read some of his work.

Go to your local library. Love a good library. You're new to the area, so you're also exploring the library for the first time, too.

You have found Terry Pratchett! Points to you! Pull a book off the shelf at random. It's called The Dark Side of the Sun.

Start reading. Realize that this feels more like sci-fi than fantasy. Sigh in smug superiority about people who get the two confused.

Realize about halfway through that this is not, in fact, a Discworld book.

Nobody warned you the guy wrote other things!

It's still good, tho. Maybe a little rough but this was an older book and the author clearly has potential. Let's try again.

Review his works. The vast majority are Discworld. You are highly unlikely to grab another non-Discworld book. Go back to the Terry Pratchett section of the library.

Oh hey he wrote a book with Neil Gaiman! You've hears of that guy!

Grab Good Omens off the shelf.

Take it home, realize, much sooner, that this is also not a Discworld book. Still enjoy yourself thoroughly. You should read more of this Gaiman dude, too.

But okay. For real this time. Go back to the library and don't leave without *CONFIRMING* you have a Discworld book this time.

Grab a book. Look at the cover. Read the back Discworld! Ha HA! You've done it!

It's called Thud.

You are utterly gripped by a story of a man wrestling with himself, his growing child, the political tensions of a city and extremism that echoes reality beautifully while still being entirely true to itself. It's a story of responsibility and love and building communities and Fantasy Chess. You are driven nearly to tears by the sentence *WHERE IS MY COW?*

You emerge from the book fundamentally changed as a person, and finally understanding what all the fuss is about. You are now a Terry Pratchett reader for life.

You realize Thud was in the middle of a series. That was a part of another series. That explains why there was a feeling that you were supposed to know some of these people already.

You finally find one of those flowcharts and figure out a more sensible reading order.

I always sort of laugh when people ask where to start reading Discworld, because Thud would be first on absolutely nobody's sensible Terry Pratchett reading order. I'm still tempted to recommend it though!

(My actual advice: Going Postal if you love con men being stuck doing the right thing, Wee Free Men if you like YA and smart angry girls owning their own power, Guards! Guards! *and* Men at Arms if you like crime shows with heart and are okay giving earlier work a try (the quality gets better and better, but I think it needs at least two books to get you into it), and Monstrous Regiment if you like gender and queer feelings, anti-war books told in the middle of a war, and/or would prefer a stand alone novel...and, you know, Thud if you want a great read and don't mind some chaos.)

[slut4thebroken]

Teacher’s Pet

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jonathan Crane x reader

Summary | After months of trying to earn your professor’s praise, he finally gives you an opportunity to prove you deserve it.

Warnings | Smut, dub con, blackmail, coercion, humiliation, anal, bondage, praise, creampie, degradation, inappropriate use of fear toxin.

Words | 6.2 k

Notes | Started this a million years ago. Finally got the motivation to finish it cause of @hllywdwhre ‘s fic that I proofread lol. Also ty to the post that gave me the fear toxin idea 🙏🏻

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

In honor of the one year anniversary since the start of my Cillian hyperfixation <3

Dr. Crane was one of the most strict and unforgiving professors at Gotham University. He graded harshly, didn’t tolerate late or incomplete work, and no one would ever dare be late— if they were, they just wouldn’t show up because an absence was better than his response to tardiness. He didn’t have any favorite students, just some that he tolerated slightly more than the rest. That was what you hated the most. 

You’ve always been the favorite student for every single teacher you’ve had, whether they said it out loud or not. After the first couple of weeks, you figured he’d just be harder to crack than the rest. But after almost two months, you were starting to get frustrated. Nothing you did ever earned you any sort of praise. You were always early, always the first to turn in assignments, participated in class, paid attention— you were the perfect student. But he never seemed to recognize that. What made you snap was when he gave you a B on your latest essay. 

Lightly knocking on his office door, you tried to control your nerves and push down the nausea— You’ve never had to talk with a teacher about a grade before…

“Come in.” He called out. So you opened the door and hesitantly stepped inside. He glanced at you quickly, then did a double take once he realized it was you. “Close the door.” He said, resuming what he was doing. You took in a quiet, deep breath and closed the door before walking over and sitting on the chair across from his desk. 

“I’m assuming this is about your essay?” He asked, not even looking up from his work. 

“Yes.. You gave me a B, I was hoping to understand why.” You said tentatively. 

“Did you not read my notes?” Of course you did. But it still didn’t make any sense. 

“No, I did, but-” He finally looked up at you with a sigh. 

“Then you should understand why I gave you that grade.”

“This essay was practically perfect.” You argued, holding up the stapled together pieces of paper, marked up with red ink. 

“Clearly not if you got a B.” He raised his brows and you clenched your jaw, trying not to get too upset or emotional.

“Dr. Crane, I’ve aced every single test and assignment, I’d hardly say this is a fair grade.” You frowned. 

“Your argument was weak and biased.” Your lips parted in shock at the bluntness of his criticism. “And your previous assignments have no impact on my grading. If you’d like them to though, I’d be more than willing to grade them again to see if I missed anything.” 

“It- it wasn’t… I spent weeks on this.” 

“And yet… You still weren’t good enough for an A.” He said, making your stomach churn. Especially because he didn’t even say ‘your essay’ he just said ‘you.’ Looking down at the papers in your hands, you scanned them quickly as if it would magically give you the answer. “Review my notes for the next essay. Maybe you’ll do better.” 

“What is your problem with me?” You snapped, looking up at him again, watching his brows raise slightly. “Have I done something to offend you?” 

“I don’t tolerate entitled students who are used to being the teacher's pet. Whatever previous, unearned success and praise you're used to receiving is of no concern to me. It is not my fault if you came into this class expecting to be treated differently for doing the same thing as every other student.” 

“I- I’m not.. entitled. I just like my work and effort to be appreciated and not.. given a B.” 

“You want me to tell you that you’re such a good girl, turning in everything on time— as expected— and doing well on your assignments— as expected.” The faux praise, as well as the condescension that laced his voice, made your cheeks heat up instantly. 

“No, but,” 

“Then I think we’re done here.” 

The next day, you almost considered not going to class, but you’ve never had an absence on your record and you��re not about to start now. 

“We’re going to deviate from the lesson plan a little and talk about something else today; fear. Specifically, fear of rejection.” Your mouth dropped open at his words and if you had any doubts that this was because of your previous conversation, they quickly disappeared when he made eye contact with you.  

“There are a few different causes, can anyone give me an example?” This would’ve been the time where you raised your hand. But that apparently wasn’t necessary because he called on you anyway, making you freeze. 

“Um, I— I’m not sure.” You said nervously, sinking back into your chair a little. 

“There’s a perfect example right there; anxiety and social comparison. Too anxious and insecure to answer a simple question. Who else can give an example?” You stared at him with wide eyes that quickly started burning with tears. Now you felt even more stupid than you would’ve, had you just answered him and potentially gotten it wrong.

Class dragged on slowly. He talked more about causes, what it looks like, how it affects performance— especially in school— and various treatments. 

You couldn’t have been more relieved when he finally dismissed the class. You rushed to pack your things and stood up, quickly making your way to the exit. 

When he called your name though, you froze, praying you heard him wrong. “Stay back for a moment.” Your peers gave you sympathetic looks as you turned around and slowly made your way back over to his desk. 

“Yes, professor?” You asked, voice strained. 

“I hope you found today's lesson helpful.” You gritted your teeth and gave him a dry smile. 

“It was… inspiring, Dr. Crane.” You said plainly, trying to control your tone. His expression was only becoming more and more amused. 

“I’m glad. Though I didn’t see you taking notes.” That made you falter. 

“I- I was,”

“Great. Let me see them.” You looked away from him and shifted your weight awkwardly. 

“See them?” 

“Did you not understand?” Your face flushed with anger and embarrassment at his patronizing tone. 

“I did. I just wasn’t aware that notes were something you needed to see.” 

“If a student isn’t paying attention for the entirety of my class then, yes, notes are something I need to see.” You swallowed thickly, trying to come up with a response, and he watched you intently as he waited.  

“Look, professor, you’ve made your point, okay? I don’t think you need to continue humiliating me.” You said quietly, not looking at him. He let out a heavy breath through his nose and you watched in your peripheral vision as he took off his glasses, setting them down. He slowly rounded the desk and you couldn’t help it when you instinctively took a step back. 

“That���s a shame. I had hoped this lecture would’ve been helpful, but since you clearly weren’t paying attention, maybe I need to try another method.” 

“I- I was paying attention…” You muttered, keeping your head down. 

“Really? Then why don’t you tell me some of the ways one can overcome a fear of rejection.” He leaned back on his desk and crossed his arms over his chest. The feeling of his eyes on you almost made you shiver and you took a quiet, deep breath before lifting your head to look at him again. 

This is an easy enough question. You can probably figure out the answer if you just use critical thinking since he was correct about you not paying attention. 

“Um… cognitive behavioral therapy?” You waited and when he didn’t out right humiliate you, you assumed that was a right answer and continued. “Exposure therapy. Self esteem enhancement… Emotion regulation?” 

“Anything else?” 

“…You said “some.’” You muttered, briefly looking away from him again. 

“I did, didn’t I?” His tone made it clear that he didn’t care about what he previously said. 

“Um, I- I’m not sure…” 

“Feel free to use your notes.” 

Fuck. 

When you looked up and saw the almost smug expression on his face, you finally snapped. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry that for one day, I couldn’t pay attention after you humiliated me in front of the entire class.” You spat, clenching your jaw as soon as you finished speaking. The longer he stayed silent, the more uncomfortable you became under his gaze, making you look away from him awkwardly. 

“Tell me why this shouldn’t affect your grade.” You knew his question was rhetorical, but you still tried to defend yourself. 

“Dr. Crane,” You started, but he raised his brows, silently warning you to not talk back. 

“I’ll see you later today during my office hours.” He said as he packed up his belongings. 

“But,” 

“Five pm.” He didn’t let you continue as he walked toward the door. All you could do was stand there and watch him leave. 

At 4:30 you paced around your dorm, debating what to do. At 4:35 you decided not to go. At 4:40 you changed your mind. At 4:50 you were pacing outside his office. At 4:55 you finally knocked, feeling like you could throw up at any second. He called out for you to enter, so you hesitantly opened the door and stepped inside. 

“Close the door and sit down.” He didn’t even look up from what he was working on. You closed the door quietly, then made your way over to the chair in front of his desk. You tried to sit there patiently, but he wasn’t saying anything. Your leg bounced incessantly as you picked at your cuticles, over thinking more and more with each tortuous second that dragged on. 

“Professor?” You finally asked. 

“You’re early. I told you to come at five and I need to finish this.” He still didn’t look up from whatever “this” was and you were quickly growing angrier. 

Was this some kind of mind fuck? Making you sit here, stewing in nerves that were only getting worse? You weren’t sure how much time had passed because you didn’t want to check your phone and give him another opportunity to chastise you. But after a while, he finally sighed and gathered the papers, setting them in a pile on the side of his desk. 

You forced yourself to stop bouncing your leg and place your palms flat on your thighs to keep from fidgeting, trying to exude confidence you were severely lacking. 

“I’ll admit, I’ve been struggling to decide what I should do with you.” Immediately your stomach churned, getting even more anxious. “I could have you removed from my class, but that would be a lot of paperwork.”

“Professor,” 

“I’m speaking.” He said harshly, making your mouth immediately close. “However, that does mean I’ll have to put up with this for another few months… So the paperwork might be worth the hassle.” You tried not to cry at the thought. You need this class to graduate— getting dropped from it will set you back a semester unless you add another course to your already heavy schedule for next semester. You waited, not sure if he was done talking or not. After another few seconds you decided to try again. 

“Please…” You said hesitantly, waiting for him to snap at you again. When he didn’t, you continued. “Please don’t drop me, professor. I need this class to graduate.” He stayed silent, eyes dragging over your body as you did your best not to squirm. He still hasn’t said anything… Is he going to drop you anyway? With tears in your eyes, you tried again, “Please… Please I- I’ll leave you alone— I won’t bother you about grades anymore, I swear, just please don’t drop me.” You all but whimpered, feeling even more pathetic now. 

He sighed and took off his glasses, then set them on his desk before leaning back in his chair a little, still studying you. 

“I’d still have to put up with you in class as well though.” 

“Please! I’ll sit in the back and not talk— I’ll do anything, just please don’t drop me.” You cried.

“Anything?” You stiffened a little at the dark expression that suddenly took over his face. Would you really do anything? You wouldn’t mind fucking him if that’s what he’s implying— despite his off putting personality, you’ve always been attracted to him.  

“Y-yes?” You said, unsure.  

“That didn’t sound very convincing and I’m not going to force you so I’ll just go through with the drop request,”

“No! I will— I’ll do anything… Please.” He continued studying you, probably trying to gauge if you were telling the truth or not. 

“Fine. We’ll call it an internship of sorts. You’ll come with me to Arkham Asylum every Friday and help me in whatever way I may need— no questions asked.” 

“I- I don’t know if I’m qualified for that.” 

“Good thing it’s not an actual internship then.” He sneered, the patronizing tone making you blush. 

“What will you have me do?” You asked quietly. 

“It’ll be easier to just show you instead. Give me your essay and after Friday if I’m satisfied with your performance, I’ll change the grade.” Your heart practically skipped a beat— all you have to do is go to Arkham with him for a day and you’ll get an A? You’d be stupid to say no. So you retrieved your essay from your bag and handed it to him. “Good. Six pm, do not be late. I’ll meet you in the main lobby to take you to my office.” He said sternly. 

Since you left his office, your heart has been pounding. You weren’t sure what to wear so you just decided on a skirt and blouse that were professional, but still mostly casual. After that, there wasn’t much else you could do. You were too anxious to focus on literally anything so you just sat at home, overthinking. Friday rolled around and you left at five, just in case anything happened, and arrived at 5:25. So you sat in your car, waiting anxiously and watching the clock on the dashboard. You were too scared to even listen to music. At 5:55 you decided to go in, worst case you’d just have to wait five minutes for him, but you figured it’d be better to be early— even after what happened during his office hours. 

It was only a minute before six when he showed up. The second he saw you, he gestured for you to follow, so you trailed after him on wobbly legs. When you arrived in his office, he closed the door and told you to sit in the chair across from him as he sat behind the desk. 

“I want to make sure that we’re on the same page and I have your consent for anything that happens here.” The way he worded that made you nervous, but you chalked it up to the fact that you were already overcome with anxiety.

“Yes.” You tried to sound sure of yourself, but you were having doubts. What would he make you do? Would it really be worth a better grade?

“Good. Take this.” He picked up a small paper cup from his desk with one pill inside and handed it to you. 

“…Why?”

“There are certain aerosol drugs that are administered to patients sometimes. That will keep them from affecting you.” He explained calmly, easing your nerves a bit. So you took it from him and swallowed it, waiting for what was next. “Follow me.” He stood up again, this time holding a briefcase, and you followed him out of his office. He led you down some hallways before stopping outside of a door and unlocking it, gesturing for you to walk in. 

There was a small table in the corner and two exam chairs with restraints on them, one of which had stirrups. Other than that the room was bare. The door closed loudly, making you jump and turn around. 

“Sit.” He ordered, walking over to the table and setting the briefcase down before walking toward you. 

“Why?” You asked skeptically. He just stood patiently and watched you. You suddenly got hit with a wave of dizziness and stumbled to the chair to sit down. The dizziness quickly turned into exhaustion and you could barely keep your eyes open. When you started falling forward, he quickly moved closer to catch you, then leaned you back against the chair. 

Your head hurt like hell and you forced your eyes open to find that you were now laying on the other exam chair, thankfully not with your legs in the stirrups, but with the restraints on your wrists. You don’t even remember falling asleep. 

“The effects should wear off soon. I apologize for using that, but I figured you wouldn’t willingly let me restrain you and I didn’t feel like fighting you.” 

“What… what was that?” You asked through a breath. You could slowly feel yourself getting less and less foggy. 

“A drug.” He said, in the most annoyed and patronizing tone you’ve heard from him so far. 

“Why?” You whimpered, closing your eyes again because they still felt so heavy. 

“If you’re going to ask stupid questions then I’m just going to gag you. I already answered that.” You heard some rustling noises and his footsteps, then a hand was running along your cheek, startling you and making you open your eyes. “You remember our agreement?” You nodded hesitantly. It felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest with how hard and fast it was pounding. “Be a good little girl and if I’m satisfied, I won’t drop you. I might even change the grade of your essay.” You didn’t need the reminder, but the way he said the first part was making your stomach flutter. 

“I have to say,” he removed his hand from your cheek and moved down to place it on your leg, just above your knee, “I prefer the sluttier skirts you wear to class than this.” He teased the hem of your skirt with his fingers, making you tremble. “Next week wear something shorter. And a more flattering top.” You figured by ‘more flattering’ what he really meant was more revealing. All you could do to respond was nod. 

“Good. Let’s begin.” 

He reached for the zipper of your skirt on your hip, making you stiffen. 

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked, beginning to panic again, and he paused with a sigh. 

“If you don’t consent, that’s fine… There is still the matter of your seat in my class.” He said coyly. “If you want me to let you go, just say that. I’ll fill out the paperwork first thing Monday morning.” 

“No,” You choked out. “No.. please.” You felt like you were on the verge of a panic attack. He shushed you softly, staring at you with a teasing glint in his eyes. 

“Relax. If you consent to this, you’ll keep your seat in my class. That’s what you want, isn’t it?” You nodded, looking up at him with teary eyes. “Good girl… Now be quiet and let me do this.” His tone was significantly darker and all you could do was tremble as he unzipped your skirt, then pulled it down your body before discarding it on the floor. 

“I’ve been working on a new form of a drug.” You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a strangled whimper when he grabbed your leg and placed it in the stirrup, then used the restraints to keep it in place. “We’re going to try it together.” He grinned wolfishly and did the same to your other leg. 

You heard his footsteps as he walked across the room for something, then back over to you, now wearing a latex glove on his right hand, holding a small bottle in the other. 

“Remember, you can withdraw consent at any time…” You couldn’t though. Because you would be dropped from his class and set back months. 

His hand landed on your thigh, making you jump a little, and he started slowly dragging it up. Once he was close enough, he brushed his thumb over your clothed mound, forcing a quiet sob from you.  

“You probably thought this was going to go in a very different direction, didn’t you?” He asked teasingly, making you blush. Truthfully, you didn’t put much thought into your undergarments because you were too busy worrying about your actual clothes and what he was going to make you do. You cried out when he suddenly ripped the lace off your body, feeling the burn of the fabric pulling too hard against your skin. “Ready?” He asked, almost eagerly. 

You saw now that the bottle was a clear liquid and when he squirted it onto his fingers, you assumed it was lube. As soon as his finger brushed your asshole, you stiffened. 

“Wait!” You rushed out, chest heaving as your heart pounded in your chest. “I- I’ve never…” 

“You’ve never done anal?” You almost thought he was going to give you sympathy. “Good.” You couldn’t even get another word out before he was pushing a finger in, making you tense up as you whimpered in discomfort. “Tell me when you start to feel it.” 

“Feel what?” You said through a breath, trying to relax around the intrusion. Even though it wasn’t as bad as you were expecting, your heart was pounding even harder and faster in your chest, and your breathing grew ragged. “Dr. Crane,” You whimpered, suddenly a million times more anxious than only a moment ago. 

“Already?” He checked his watch, “That was fast. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“Anxious.” You said quickly, letting out a strangled whimper when he forced another finger inside. “M-my heart is pounding and it feels hard to breathe.” 

“That’s good… Anything else?” 

“My hands are clammy… and it feels like I'm sweating a little.” 

“No visual or auditory hallucinations?” 

“What?” You choked out, eyes widening. “W-why would I have that??”

“The drug we’re testing is my fear toxin. It’s a hallucinogenic that targets the amygdala and releases stress hormones, causing a fear response in the brain.” He explained, only making you feel worse. “So far I’ve tested it two ways; administered intravenously and in aerosol form.” 

“I don’t understand..” You said quietly, trying to calm your breathing a little. He let out an exaggerated sigh and forced a third finger inside you. 

“I guess I should really expect you to.” He almost sounded.. disappointed. The realization made the twist in your stomach even worse. “Let me dumb it down for you. In its most potent form, it causes visual and auditory hallucinations of the subject’s worst fear.” If you weren’t currently on the verge of a panic attack with three fingers in your ass, you probably would’ve rolled your eyes at his tone. 

“Now I’m testing it via rectal administration. The concentration is about the same, but the effects shouldn’t be as strong. At least, that’s my theory.” His fingers continued fucking you slowly, occassionally spreading apart to open you up more. Despite the amount of anxiety you were currently feeling, you could just barely feel your growing arousal.  

“W-why would you want the drug in this form?” You asked, gasping for air between words. 

“I’m a doctor. Why wouldn’t I experiment?” He asked rhetorically. You bit your lip and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to focus on the anxiety rather than the arousal, but it was only becoming more difficult. A choked moan escaped you when he suddenly dragged a bare finger through your folds, spreading the evidence of your arousal. “Are you enjoying this?” His voice sounded unnervingly clinical. 

In response, you bit down harder on your lip and shook your head, denying it. You could practically feel his eyes on you, studying you closely. 

“I knew you’d be perfect for this.” He suddenly said, and you bit back a moan because he almost sounded proud. “You’re just pathetic enough and desperate for my approval to willingly become my little lab rat, and now look at you… Leaking onto my hand as I finger your ass.” He chuckled wryly. A dark blush took over your face and you whined quietly, but the flutter in your stomach was unmistakable. “I bet you want my cock also… Don’t you?” 

You let out a choked sob and turned your head, trying uselessly to hide yourself. When he suddenly pulled his fingers out, you whimpered quietly at the sudden loss. 

“Look at me.” He demanded, in a tone that left no room for argument. As if you were in a trance, you turned to face him and opened your eyes. “You want to keep your seat in my class?” He removed the glove and tossed it aside, then worked on unbuckling his belt and opening his pants. 

“Yes.” You whispered shakily. 

“And you’re willing to let me fuck your ass to ensure that happens?” He pulled his already half hard cock out and started stroking slowly as you gaped at it. How was that supposed to fit inside you?

“I- I’ve never..”

“It’s a yes or no question.” He sighed impatiently. “I fuck your ass or you leave and I fill out the form Monday morning.” 

“I… I’m scared.” You whimpered, looking nervously between his face and his cock. 

“That’s the whole point, darling.” Right. Because he was testing his fear toxin. You blushed furiously at the new pet name. “You have three seconds before I fuck you, then fill out the form anyway.” 

Your stomach dropped at the threat and when he raised his brows, you blurted out, “Yes.” Tears were brimming in your eyes and he stepped closer, but didn’t line up yet. He just used his free hand to gently rub your thigh. 

“Yes, what?” Your bottom lip began trembling when you realized what he wanted from you. “Say it. Beg your professor for it.”

“I- I want…” You let out a strangled sob and squeezed your eyes shut again, making his hand stop moving on your thigh to grip tightly in a silent warning. “I want you to fuck my ass… Please, Dr. Crane.” You whimpered. You’ve never felt more humiliated, but at the same time… you were only becoming more aroused. Your cunt ached to be filled, and your clit was practically throbbing.

“Good girl.” When you let out a choked moan at the sudden praise, he chuckled quietly. “Open your eyes. I want you to watch.” He demanded, lining up. Only after your eyes fluttered open, did he finally apply some pressure, entering you with little difficulty. 

“Fuck- You’re so tight.” He hissed, moving his hand to your other thigh and squeezing almost painfully. Your breath and all of your sounds were caught in your throat as he pushed in deeper, not stopping until his hips were flush with your ass. “Tell me how it feels.” He said breathily, not moving yet. 

“Big.” You whimpered, barely able to get the word out. 

“Does it hurt?” You shook your head, trying to steady your breathing, but the overwhelming feeling of being stretched as well as the anxiety still weighing heavy on your chest made it feel almost impossible. “You look like you’re on the verge of a panic attack.” He sounded uncharacteristically dulcet.

When he reached for your shirt and unbuttoned it to expose your bra, your breathing picked up even more as your heart started pounding even harder in your chest. He pulled your bra down below your breasts and groped you eagerly, showing little regard for your pleasure with his rough, almost painful touch. 

“Your heart’s beating so fast. Is my little lab rat still scared?” He cooed, very obviously mocking you. 

“Professor..” You whimpered, staring up at him with glossy eyes as you struggled to cope with all of the overwhelming feelings, both physically and emotionally. He shushed you softly and brought his hands back down to rub your thighs, trying to soothe you. 

“I’m going to fuck you, and you’re going to take it.” He said plainly. “You try to resist at all and I’ll keep fucking you until I finish, then you won’t have to bother showing up to class on Monday. Do you understand?” 

You nodded reluctantly and he moved his hands to grip the tops of your thighs. He slowly dragged his hips back, then forward again, forcing you to feel every inch of his cock stretching you open. It didn’t… hurt. But it definitely wasn’t the most pleasurable thing you’ve ever experienced. 

When he suddenly sped up, you cried out and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to focus on taking deep breaths. He was grunting and moaning quietly with each thrust, clearly enjoying this far more than you, and you couldn’t help but open your eyes again to watch him. His grip tightened on your thighs, making you whimper, and you watched his mouth fall open in a silent moan as he closed his eyes. 

“Fuck…” He said breathily, letting out a low groan before opening his eyes again. “I didn’t account for transdermal administration” He almost sounded amused again, but you could barely focus on his words. “The effects are far less than what you’re feeling, I’d assume. It almost feels like adrenaline, rather than fear. Next time we’ll try it intravaginally to see if your reaction is the same or more like mine.” 

You almost forgot that this wasn’t a one and done. You have to let your professor do what he wants with you every week for the rest of the semester…

“And I think I’ll try the other forms of delivery on you as well. Not so much for an experiment… I just want to fuck you while you’re hallucinating your greatest fears.” His lips curled up into a small smirk at the thought of that. “I can’t wait to hear you scream and cry for me.” He cooed, but his tone was far from comforting and your anxiety was only getting worse as he continued sharing his future plans for you. 

He started bucking into you rapidly and his sounds got louder, clearly getting closer to his release. You could even feel yourself just barely starting to inch toward the edge. Your moans caught his attention and a pleased look took over his face. 

“You like this, don’t you?” You let out a choked moan and bit your lip, trying to quiet your sounds. “It’s either that or misattribution of arousal... but that seems less likely.” Even though you knew his guess was correct, you were still going to convince yourself that it was misattribution of arousal instead because that was far less humiliating. When he started rubbing your clit, any chance you had of keeping quiet was gone instantly. His moans got louder too when your body tensed up, tightening around his cock. 

“Oh god— Dr. Crane, please.” You sobbed, feeling the arousal steadily taking over the anxiety that had settled in your stomach. 

“What do you want?” Now that he asked, you realized that you don’t even know what you want. You wanted the overwhelming anxiety and stretch to stop… but the thought of him pulling out and ending this almost brought tears of desperation to your eyes. His fingers sped up on your clit and your back arched off of the exam chair as an involuntary mewl escaped you. 

“Please let me come.” You whimpered pathetically and he let out a quiet chuckle in response to your brazenness. 

“How curious…” He murmured, gaze dragging all over your body. “I’ll admit, I figured some part of you would enjoy getting to please me, but I never imagined it’d be to this extent.” He said amusedly and your blush darkened in response. “You want to come?”

You were nodding eagerly before he could even finish. “Please.” 

“How about this— I'll raise the grade on your essay… or I’ll let you come.” You could see the barest hint of a smirk on his lips and you let out a frustrated sob, squeezing your eyes shut. “Well?”

“Dr. Crane…” You whimpered, bottom lip trembling as you tried not to cry. When you opened your eyes and stared up at him through the tears, his smirk widened. “Please..” 

“Should I choose for you?” 

“No…” You sobbed, looking away from him and biting your lip. The whole point of this was so he’d change the grade… You can’t give in to the pleasure now that you’re so close to finally getting what you came here for. “I- I want you to change my grade.” Your voice was barely a whisper. As soon as he got your answer, he removed his hand from your clit to grab the top of your thigh again, bucking into you rapidly as he chased his orgasm. 

“We’re going to have a lot of fun together, my little lab rat.” He was clearly satisfied with your choice and while part of you was almost crying from frustration… another part couldn’t help but revel in the fact that you pleased him, even if it was at the expense of your own pleasure. 

His hips snapped into you rapidly, the force of it almost pushing you up the exam chair, but the restraints on your legs kept you mostly in place. As he focused on his impending orgasm, you were practically mesmerized. He looked so… pretty. The pleasure in his expression was obvious and there was a faint blush on his cheeks. His normally pale blue eyes were darker as he took you in, studying every tiny reaction to his ministrations. 

When he suddenly pushed forward all the way and stayed there, you let out a whine of displeasure, knowing whatever pleasure you might’ve been feeling before was about to disappear. But the choked moan he let out as he closed his eyes made you almost forget all about it. His hips bucked forward sporadically as his cock twitched inside you with each rope of come that shot out, filling you up.  

Finally his sounds quieted into heavy breathing and his body went still. You waited anxiously for what was next, not sure what to expect. Opening his eyes again, he watched as he slowly dragged his hips back until his cock slipped free, forcing out a quiet hiss from him and a whimper from you at the sensitivity. 

“Push it out.” His voice was raspy and still thick with arousal. When you pushed his come out, he let out a low groan as he watched, bending down a little to get a closer look. “Good girl.” He cooed, making you whine as the words went straight to your cunt that was still aching with need. 

“You can remain here until the effects wear off. I want to see how long that takes.” He said, almost clinically, while checking his watch. Your eyes stayed on him as he tucked his cock back in his pants before collecting the lube and discarded glove. 

“Are you going to let me go?” Your voice was quiet and timid as submission still heavily clouded your mind. He looked over at you again, almost surprised by your voice. He glanced at the restraints before dragging his gaze all over your body for a moment. Finally, he smirked a little and went back to what he was doing. 

“Soon.” You sighed in response and stayed quiet. As you breathed deeply, trying to ignore the arousal still lingering in your stomach, you noticed that the anxious feeling was starting to subside a little. Your heart was still beating rapidly, but now it was hard to tell if it was from fear, adrenaline, or your own unsatisfied arousal. 

“I think it’s wearing off.” You told him and he checked his watch again. 

“What are you feeling?” He finally walked back over to you and stared at your face with an almost impressive level of professionalism, given the circumstances. 

“My heart is still pounding, but my breathing is better. And I don’t feel very nauseous either.” 

“Next week I want to test this again so I have a control group to compare these results to. It’ll be the same thing, but I won’t finger you for as long and I won’t fuck you until after it wears off.” He reached out and gently grabbed your chin, angling your face up to look at him as he stepped closer. “Of course… that’s assuming you still want to keep your spot in my class…” He trailed off, making the statement sound like a question instead. 

“I do.” You said quickly. Especially after this… you were desperate to stay enrolled in his class, but you were also— as much as you didn’t want to admit it— desperate for more after he gave you this small taste. 

“Good girl.” Your cheeks heated up instantly and he patted one with his hand before stepping back again. “Keep being my little lab rat and I have no doubt you’ll pass my class… maybe even with the grade you think you deserve.” 

[chillian-murphy]

Experimental Treatment

SUMMARY: after numerous failed attempts to treat your anxiety, you enroll in an experimental drug trial run by Dr. Jonathan Crane (OR: how you became Dr. Crane's bimbo fuckslave)

WORD COUNT: 5.4k

WARNINGS/ADDITIONAL INFO: Smut 🔞, dub con, drugging, mention of anxiety disorders, bimboification, brainwashing kinda??, breast/nipple play, oral sex (m receiving), piv, Jonathan is manipulative and possibly a nevernude

beta'd by @pawnsong

You shifted nervously as you sat in Dr. Crane’s office for the first time. You’d tried numerous treatments for your trauma-related anxiety, but nothing seemed to work. It had been about a year since you had been beaten, tied up, and left for dead in a supply closet by one of Gotham’s many aspiring criminals, and you haven’t been able to eat, sleep, or generally care for yourself since. When you heard about an experimental treatment study happening at the local university, you enrolled as quickly as you could, moving faster than you’d ever moved in your life. You knew there was no one therapy or pill that could fix everything, but at this point, you were desperate for any sort of relief that could be offered.

The man that entered was much younger than you expected; you always pictured the doctor running a drug trial to be much older, maybe even a bit weathered from the stress of working in such a nightmarish city. Instead, he was small, slender, and had an almost angelic baby face.

“Tell me about what brings you here today.” He sat down without looking up from his chart.

“It should all be there, but to summarize: about a year ago I was assaulted and have been experiencing extreme anxiety, depression, and nightmares since. I can’t eat more than a few bites of food at a time without vomiting, and can’t remember the last time I’ve had a few night’s sleep. I’ve tried talk therapy and a slew of medications, including SSRIs, SNRIs, and benzodiazepines, but nothing seems to work.”

By this point, you’ve gone over your symptoms and previous treatments so many times that you had a well rehearsed script you relied on when recounting them. You worried that listing everything off in such a matter-of-fact way would lead people to think you’re just seeking drugs for recreational reasons, but fuck, what didn’t you worry about these days?

“As I’m sure you were told when you were applying for the trial, my background is in pharmacology and I’ll be putting you on an experimental drug of my own creation. I won’t bore you with the specifics of how it works, but you’ll receive a fast-acting injection once a week, and it should calm your nerves and improve your sleep. The exact effects aren’t well documented as of yet, which is why you’re here. All of the proper consent forms should be in order, so if you like, I can start you on the injections here and now.”

“Yes, please, whatever gets me my life back the soonest.” As nervous as you were to be injected with something you knew almost nothing about, part of you was almost giddy to be given something that might finally work.

“The drug can have some sedative effects, so no driving, at least for the first 24 hours. Do you have someone to pick you up? Family, a roommate? A boyfriend, perhaps?” Dr. Crane continued to inform as he prepared a syringe.

“I took public transport. Not a lot of people in my life.” you chuckled nervously.

“All alone. What a shame.”

Before you could mentally register his comment as odd, you were startled by the coldness of an alcohol wipe rubbing against your arm and the sharpness of a needle being inserted.

“You should start feeling the effects in about 5-10 minutes. I’m sending you home with a packet detailing what you should expect, as well as my phone number if anything unusual happens. It might be difficult, but I want you to take detailed notes on everything you experience, and we’ll review them when you come in for your next dosage.”

It proved a bit difficult to make your way home as the medication’s effects set in. Your body felt heavy and sleepy, and you had trouble concentrating; even reading the familiar train schedule felt impossible. Thankfully, some sort of muscle memory kicked in and you made it home safely, letting your brain turn off and follow your usual routine out of habit alone. The mindlessness felt weirdly comforting, you barely realized that you had moved from your spot on the subway until you were at your front door, fishing around for your keys in your bag.

The rest of the night went by pretty uneventfully, following your usual routine, with the addition of writing down your response to the medications in the journal included with Dr. Crane had provided you with. For the first night in as long as you could remember, you settled into a deep, dreamless sleep that lasted the full night.

*********************************************************

A week had passed since your initial meeting, and you were in Dr. Crane’s office again to go over how the medication had affected you and to receive your next dosage. You brought the journal you had taken notes in, although you were unsure how helpful it would be since you had mostly jotted down bullet points instead of writing down your experiences in-depth. It was the most you could do, since you were having trouble concentrating after you were dosed. Shit, that was another thing you should’ve written down.

The doctor entered quietly and greeted you with a tense smile, the kind of polite grimace you’d make upon accidentally making eye contact with a stranger in public. He motioned for you to hand over your journal of notes as he sat, and you passed it to him while trying to avoid looking at him as much as possible. He had never done anything to make you uncomfortable aside from being a bit terse, but he still gave you an uneasy feeling. 

“Let’s look at what you’ve written down. Your notes are brief, but at least they’re organized.”

Once again, terse. It was tempting to want to interrupt and explain how hard it was to focus on writing every little thing down when you kept forgetting where you were or what you were doing, often wandering into a room only to realize you couldn’t remember why you went there, but speaking up felt like too much trouble all of a sudden. After all, wasn’t Dr. Crane being soooo nice, offering to help you with your anxiety?

You had no idea where that thought came from. Weird.

“Grogginess, that’s to be expected, the drug was designed with sedative qualities. Forgetfulness, once again, not uncommon. Sleeping through the night? Good. Breast growth? I’d like you to elaborate.”

“I started getting my appetite back and gaining weight—“

“Weight gain is typical if you’re eating more regularly than you were before,” he interjected before you could finish. God, did he think you were fucking stupid?

“But I only seemed to gain weight around my breasts and hips.”

“Are you saying you’d rather have a double chin and beer belly?”

“Well, no…”

“Then I don’t see what the problem is.”

“I can’t fit into any of my old bras. Bras are expensive.” It really felt like talking to a brick wall.

“Understood.” He scribbled a few quick notes before looking back up at you. “Is there anything else?”

“Not that I can think of.” Relief sank in when you realized this meant that your meeting was wrapping up.

“Then I’ll give you your next dose and let you go. Please continue to take notes, even if they are brief. Any information you can give me is immeasurably helpful.” He gave you what must’ve been his version of a reassuring smile, tight and forced, before motioning for you to roll up your sleeve and receive your next shot. A cold jab in the arm was administered, and you were on your way.

*********************************************************

The next week passed largely without note, the intense brain fog from the first dosage had lessened into a sort of ditzy forgetfulness, which was still inconvenient but easier to live with. You misplaced things, forgot what you were doing, and lost track of time regularly, but somehow it all seemed easier to just laugh off. Had it not been for a reminder on your phone, you probably would’ve forgotten all about your weekly meeting with Dr. Crane.

The usual unease you felt around him was gone; you were almost looking forward to talking to him. He was the only one you could really talk to about everything that had happened since starting the trial, and how good you’ve been feeling, how your racing thoughts have slowed, and how sometimes you didn’t seem to think at all. It was a relief you never knew existed.

You were so caught up in thinking about not thinking that you hadn’t noticed Dr. Crane entering, sitting down, or speaking to you until he cleared his throat impatiently.

“I said, do you have your notes from this week?”

“Oh, right, here.” You casually tossed over your journal, even though your notes were even more scant than the first week. You had written just three things: 

boobs keep growing

really sensitive

really horny!!

thoughts not happening

“This is the second time you’ve mentioned your breasts.” It didn’t take long for Dr. Crane to skim your brief notes. “Would you mind showing them to me?”

Despite his relaxed posture, his stare felt about a thousand times more intense as you squirmed in your seat.

“That feels inappropriate.”

“I’m a medical professional. I assure you, I’m only trying to verify what you’ve reported.”

Cautiously, you pulled the front of your top down, exposing yourself to him. To your surprise, doing this didn’t make you feel nervous or vulnerable, despite always feeling rather timid about being seen naked in the past. Showing off for the doctor felt weirdly <i>right</i>, like the best thing you could do in any situation would be to do what he says.

He scooted forward on his wheeled office chair, leaning in to examine you closer, never losing the icily neutral look on his face. It’s not that you wanted him to leer, but something, anything other than stony professionalism would’ve gone a long way, especially as he reached out to touch you.

“You’ve gone up… two, maybe three cup sizes? Have you taken any measurements?” He cupped your round, heavy breast lightly, as if to evaluate it. His hand was surprisingly warm, you always assumed that his cold personality would extend to his touch, and that being handled by him would be like being prodded by a metal instrument.

“I dunno… enough that men have started being nicer to me.” Measuring hadn’t even occurred to you. A lot of things stopped occurring to you. It was so much easier just letting yourself not think.

“And you said they’re sensitive.” Gentle cupping had turned into squeezing, firm enough to make you aware of just how strong his hands are. You wanted to moan and lean into his touch, but you didn’t want to make things any more awkward than they already were.

“Yes” you squeaked out. “Really sensitive.”

“You also wrote down that you were, in your own words, really horny. Now, I’m going to need some elaboration, is that an increase in sex drive, or more like constant arousal? I need you to be as descriptive as possible.” He rolled your nipple between his fingers before turning his attention to your other breast, giving it the same treatment.

“It’s both. I’m just… always horny, and I come so much harder now. Sometimes I sneak off during work to rub myself in the bathroom. I can’t help it, it just feels so good, so much better than it did before.” You knew it was for the study, but telling him this much, especially while he touched you like this, felt… weird, like it shouldn’t be happening. But you didn’t want it to stop.

“Are you aroused right now?” If your brain wasn’t clouded by how much you were turned on, you would notice the subtle smirk on his face. Instead, you just nodded eagerly.

“Now, I’ll have to stop touching you so I can write all this down. You’ve given me some crucial information, and as a thank you, you’re welcome to grind against my shoe and get yourself off while I record everything you just told me.” He casually extended his leg as an invitation.

You dropped to your knees promptly, bare breasts bouncing with every movement, and stared up at him dumbly as you straddled his foot. He barely glanced at you while he jotted notes down, even as you rubbed yourself against the shiny black leather of his shoe. It didn’t take long at all for you to climax, and when your orgasm hit you, it hit you so hard that it was honest-to-god disorienting. It took you a moment to remember where you were as you shuddered and fell backwards to the floor.

This was enough to finally get Dr. Crane’s attention. You stared back up at him with big, doe eyes as you finally realized how bizarre and even <i>wrong</i> it was for a doctor to grope you and encourage you to masturbate in front of him.

“Good girl. Cover yourself and let me give you your next dose.”

The faint bit of praise sent shocks down your spine as you pulled your top back over your breasts and climbed back into your seat, and the way Dr. Crane touched you as he administered the injection felt gentler than usual, almost tender. As soon as the drug entered your bloodstream, any apprehension you had about what just happened quickly disappeared.

*********************************************************

“These… aren’t notes in any way, shape or form.” Dr. Crane rubbed his temples in frustration as he looked at the page of doodles you handed him, mostly hearts, stars, and smiley faces.

“I couldn’t think of anything to write. I thought I would make it pretty instead.” you shrugged as you sat with your legs folded in a criss-cross on the couch in his office, not noticing or caring that the position hiked up your already short skirt in a way that revealed your lacy panties. It was true, you couldn’t remember a single thought, new effect, or even what you did from day to day over the past week.

“If you can’t record and report how the drugs are affecting you, you won’t be of any use to the trial and we’ll have to take you off the drug.” he chided, as if explaining himself to a small child. “Because right now, you’re just wasting my time.”

“But I like the drug! I feel better!” you whined, rocking back and forth and pouting for emphasis. “I’ll be good. I promise. Just tell me what to do.”

“Can you tell me anything? Anything at all?” His tone was becoming more condescending, to the point where it got through to even your druggy little brain. He stared at you, daring you to say something, but all you could do was stare back at him dumbly. “That’s what I thought.”

“I’ll have the nurses prepare the outtake forms. I wish you could have been more useful to me.” He spoke curtly as he stood and gathered his belongings, not even dignifying you with eye contact. You were nothing but a broken tool to be discarded.

“But I need this!” You desperately attempted to stand and follow him as he left, but were unable to unfold your legs and spilled on the floor, catching the leg of his pants and staring back up at him with big, pleading eyes.

You were desperate, you were pathetic, you were suddenly useful again.

“I’m surprised you’re this determined to stay in the trial. I suppose we do have one last option: since you’re unable to record your own data, I will have to watch you and take notes myself. I have a spare room in my apartment that you can move into, which should be more comfortable than being committed to the hospital and allow me more access to observe you. Is that something you would consent to?”

You nodded eagerly, although you’d agree to anything as long as it meant not going back to the anxious, overthinking mess of a person that you were before. It was so much simpler being simple.

“I’m taking a big risk on you. I need you to do something for me, to show you’re serious about wanting to continue with the trial.” He gestured towards the growing bulge in his pants, which was mere inches from your face. You stared silently, not sure he was inferring, but your mouth instinctively watered and dropped open when he nudged your head towards his clothed dick.

You pawed at his tented trousers until he got impatient and undid the zipper himself and freed his erection from his boxer briefs, and you quickly got to work bobbing your head over his length, lavishing the head with your tongue. Your eyes watered as you pushed as much of his cock down your throat as you could, making yourself gag lightly but never enough to deter you. You didn’t care that drool was dribbling down your chin, Dr. Crane’s cock was all that mattered.

He grasped a fistful of your hair, reinforcing the rhythm of your movements, and shoving you further down on his cock. No matter how visibly uncomfortable you were, you never pushed back or struggled, you just accepted your place as a living fucktoy. Mascara was running down your cheeks and your skin was flushed and glassy with sweat, almost looking like the plasticky sheen of a blow-up doll.

Dr. Crane grunted as he came in spurts down your throat, still tender from the rough treatment. You didn’t waste a single drop of what he gave you, and ran your tongue over his slit to collect any remaining seed. Once you swallowed everything, you wiped the saliva from your face and smiled up at him sweetly.

“Can we go home now?”

*********************************************************

You had lost count of how many days it had been since Dr. Crane brought you home, in fact, most of your life outside of the past few weeks had been something of a blur. It didn’t matter, though, as being his pretty little pet didn’t require you to think much. You spent most of your days lounging about, watching porn, staring out the window, or oohing and aahing over the pretty clothes he brought home for you. It took him a while to settle on a style when he replaced your wardrobe, dressing you in everything from latex minidresses to 1950s housewife apparel, but eventually found that he favored soft, feminine babydolls in light colors like pink and white.

You were admiring the ruffled hem of the slip you were wearing when you heard him unlocking the door to his apartment, and you immediately rushed over to greet him. Seeing him was the best part of your day, and you couldn’t wait to sit in his lap and talk to him about your busy day of watching yourself edge in front of the mirror.

It had become something of a routine, he would settle into his favorite recliner after coming home from work, and you’d straddle him with your breasts in his face while he felt you up and vented about whatever was bothering him. His job at the university was soooo stressful, apparently conducting experiments on unwitting students is ��frowned upon,” whatever that meant. You were always happy to make him feel better.

“…and the dean can’t even appreciate the validity of my work. Opening up the skull of a live subject is the most reliable way to observe changes in the brain, regardless of whether or not the ethics board likes it.” You had no idea what he was even talking about, but you did your best to seem sympathetic, hugging his neck and pulling his head into your chest.

“My day was hard, too. My vibrator stopped working and I had to rub myself by hand.”

“Did you try changing the batteries?”

You thought about what he said for a few seconds and fell into a fit of giggles.

“Duh! Batteries go in the vibrator! You’re so smart, you always think of the best things.”

“That’s why I do all the thinking in the relationship. You just look pretty and keep your holes ready.” He frowned at you in faux concern, as if you were capable of having thoughts of your own.

“I do keep my holes ready!” You bounced excitedly in his lap. You were so, so good at having holes and keeping them ready. Dr. Crane even told you so.

“Wanna show me how nice and ready they are?" his hands skimmed over your body, from the top of your waist down to your thighs and then around back to your ass, which he squeezed firmly, making you gasp softly. You raised the hem of your slip and pulled your panties to the side, revealing your pussy, which was wet from edging all day. You were never allowed to let yourself come while he was gone, that was a special privilege that only he was allowed to give you.

“Beautiful. And your ass?”

You rose from his lap, turned around, and bent over to show him the plug you’ve had in for the past hour.

“I started with the small one and put the bigger one in when you texted me, just like you asked." The plugs always felt weird and you didn't like the bigger ones, but if Dr. Crane wanted you to wear them, then obviously there was a good reason. He’s so handsome and smart, you’d do anything he said.

“Good girl." His praise made your heart sing as he fucked the toy in and out of you. He knew anal play frustrated you, and it was so cute to watch as you tried not to squirm as the bulbous plug disappeared in your ass. Maybe he’d lock your pussy away in a chastity belt and make you masturbate anally all day instead of your usual edging.

Dr. Crane could hardly believe how much his little experiment had changed you. When he started the trial, it was mainly to indulge his curiosity about how the antidote to his fear toxin would affect people with no fear toxin exposure, and most of the other participants reacted to it the same way they would to any other common anxiolytic, save for one particularly unfortunate person who had their fear response reduced so drastically that they walked into oncoming traffic without realizing it was dangerous. But you? You turned into the perfect fuckdoll: always aroused, eager to please, and too oblivious to notice the strange hours he kept as both a professor and as Scarecrow.

Of course, there were some down sides: he had hoped to mold you into something of a stepford wife, not only taking care of his needs in the bedroom but other domestic duties as well. Yet after your third time nearly setting the kitchen on fire while trying to cook a simple meal, he had to accept that you had simply become too airheaded to trust with anything but sex.

“Can we fuck now? My pussy needs you." You whined, interrupting the train of thought that had pulled Dr. Crane’s focus away from you.

“Good girls don't whine like that, sweetheart. I could fuck you, but for that I think I’ll make you wait until after dinner.” He chided. You were so much fun to toy with when you got desperate.

"But I am a good girl! Let me show you.” You pouted and begged.

“If you’re an extra good girl, you’ll be quiet while I’m cooking dinner and then we can fuck.” His tone was equal parts syrupy and condescending, “if not, you can spend the rest of the night gagged and locked in your cage. The choice is yours.”

Not wanting to spend the night locked in a dog crate, you crossed your arms and sulked, but nevertheless obeyed as you sunk into the couch. Your needy little pussy was aching, but you had to be a good girl for Dr. Crane. Even if it was mean and bad and unfair and… Oh? There’s a plate being placed in front of you, dinner must be ready already.

As soon as Dr. Crane sat down beside you, you snuggled into his side. Physical affection wasn’t something he was used to before bringing you home, and it took him some time to come around to it, but now he was actually starting to enjoy the amount of cuddles and kisses you desired from him. Spooning on the couch while trying to eat wasn’t the most practical thing in the world, although you were determined to find a way to bury your face in his chest while also stuffing it with mashed potatoes.

“Someone’s needy tonight,” he teased as he stroked your hair.

You just hummed contentedly and nuzzled your face into his neck. He was warm and smelled nice, like everything in the apartment. The one time you tried opening the window, it smelled like rot and gasoline, and made you sad and scared as it filled your head with vague memories of your old life.

Dinner passed comfortably and quietly, even as you squirmed to find a position that let you eat and snuggle at the same time. Dr. Crane’s attention was largely on the nightly news playing on the television, nodding along with the crime report. The news was mostly boring to you, except for that one weird time that a woman who looked like you and had your name was reported missing. Dr. Crane told you not to worry about it, though, so you didn’t.

“I’d say you’ve been a very good girl this evening,” Dr. Crane shifted to face you. “Would you like to join me in the bedroom?”

“What’s in the bedroom?” You stared blankly.

“Sex, sweetheart. I’m asking you if you would like to have sex.” Dr. Crane rubbed his temples. Perhaps drugging your brains out but leaving you just smart enough to talk was a mistake.

Sex! Sex was exactly what you wanted! Sex was what you dreamed about all day, edging your pussy and thinking of Dr. Crane. Your face lit up, which he took as a sign to lead you to the bedroom.

As you approached the bed, he toyed with the strap of your chemise, gliding it off your shoulder so it hung suggestively.

“I want this off.” His voice was soft, but his unblinking gazes held all the authority in the world over you.

“Yes, sir.” You made quick work of the garment, pulling it over your head and flinging it to the floor.

“Panties, too.”

Those silently slid off next, leaving you completely nude while he remained fully clothed.

Dr. Crane’s breath stilled for a moment as he took in the sight in front of him. It only took a few weeks of being dosed for your body to reshape into a bouncy hourglass, with full breasts, a slim, defined waist, and a round ass with thighs to match. A soft, trimmed patch of hair adorned your pussy, just above the lips, with everything else kept bare. Occasionally you’d have your pubic hair waxed into a heart, which he found ridiculous, but was easy enough to overlook if it kept you happy.

Once he was done drinking in the sight of your body, he gently shoved you onto the bed and guided your legs open, settling in between. His hand made its way to your eager little pussy, spreading the lips and pressing inside, making you shudder in pleasure.

“Have you been this wet for me all day, baby?” His voice now a low rasp, thick with desire.

“Mmmhmm,” you hummed in affirmation, too lost in the sensation to form words.

“God, you’re good for me.” He growled as he dived on top of you, kissing your neck and fondling your breasts. You couldn’t help but moan when he rolled your nipple between his fingers, tugging lightly. You were always responsive, but especially when he played with your tits.

He trailed soft bites down from your neck to your nipples, gently nipping at any skin he could grasp between his teeth. Once he got to your chest, he got more aggressive, sinking his teeth into you until you whimpered in pain. Your breasts were his favorite. He had never given much thought to the “tits or ass?” question before, but now that he could come home to a soft, inviting pair to play with and suck, he knew where his preference lied.

Feeling satisfied that your nipples were now swollen and pink from both arousal and abuse, Dr. Crane removed himself from on top of you to once again admire your needy body and tease your cunt. Even when he was just fucking you with his fingers, you moaned and rolled your hips as if it was the best thing you’ve ever felt. Some nights it could drag on for hours, he would stimulate you with just his hands or a toy only to withdraw before you could climax, giving pleasure and taking it away over and over to see just how desperate he could make you. It was no secret that Dr. Crane was a sadist, and watching you squirm, cry, and beg was almost as good to him as coming inside of you.

Tonight was different, though, he wanted to fuck. He pulled his fingers out of you and freed himself from his trousers and underwear, making a show of rubbing his cock with the wet essence covering his fingers as he lined himself up with your tight, eager hole. He pushed himself in slowly, savoring how hot and slick you felt around him.

Your life revolved around his cock. If you weren’t sucking on it or being filled by it, you were fantasizing about the next time you would have it inside of you. And now that you were being given exactly what you were craving, you couldn't get enough, grinding back against Dr. Crane every time his hips met yours.

No longer satisfied with the languid pace he had set earlier, Dr. Crane pulled back slightly, helping to lift your hips and push your legs towards your chest, essentially folding you in half so he could penetrate you deeper and harder. His new rhythm was merciless as his fingers dug into your thighs, pistoning his hips and fucking you like his life depended on it. Whatever frustration he felt with his job, his colleagues, and his extracurricular activities, he was now taking out on your pussy and all you could do was grip the sheets and take it. 

Between the powerless feeling reinforced by his rough treatment and the way his cock was hitting your g-spot, you couldn't help but let your eyes roll back in ecstasy. You were fulfilling your ultimate purpose as Dr. Crane’s pet: a pretty toy to play with and look at, and an inviting set of holes to fuck. You could come from the thought alone if you were allowed to orgasm without permission. You met each of his thrusts with short, staccato moans as you arched your back beneath him, sticking out your chest as your breasts bounced with every hammering movement.

Dr. Crane’s breath grew ragged as he approached his own climax, and his motions changed from a fluid rhythm to jerky, rough thrusts.

“Play with your clit. Come for me."

Finally given the permission you’ve been needing all evening, you began rubbing yourself vigorously as he continued ramming his cock into you. It didn't take much to push you over the edge, and as your orgasm hit, you moaned so loud and luridly that it would make most seasoned pornographers blush.

Dr. Crane wasn't nearly as noisy as he joined you in orgasmic bliss, panting heavily as he filled you with his seed. Once he found himself thoroughly drained, he collapsed next to you and silently attempted to catch his breath as you rolled over and snuggled up to his chest.

“Let's go again!" you excitedly chirped while reaching for his softened cock.

“Later, sweetheart, I need to rest.” He had no idea how you recovered so quickly. "Why don't you play with yourself while you're full of my come? I know you like that.”

"It's not the same,” you begged. "I need your cock.”

"How about this,” Dr. Crane's clinical doctor voice was back. "You can warm my cock in your mouth while I grade papers, and once I'm good and ready, I’ll fuck your throat while you ride one of your dildos.”

You made a happy little squeal as you smiled and hugged him tightly. He took such good care of you, keeping you so well-fucked. You had everything you could ever want: you were safe, you were loved, you were happy. And all you had to do was let your brain be turned into cotton candy.

[whygalaxy]

Poor bunny in a golden cage

♡⃕ Relationship} Yandere! Abusive! C!Quackity x Bunny Hybrid! Fem! Reader

♡⃕ Summary} "Quackity was obsessed with you. Your greedy parents beat you to him… What could go wrong?"

♡⃕ TW.} Abusive relationship; Mention of abuse (Physical and Psychological); Non Con explicit; Choking; Sadism; threats; Your parents being jerks; Quackity being extremely abusive; False imprisonment; Mention of stalker; possessive; Dacryphilia; Rough sex; dumbfication; Mild Stockholm syndrome; Mild Size Kink.

♡⃕ Notes} English is not my first language, there may be mistakes. I'm sorry for anything. Not reviewed (Please, it's two in the morning)

This fanfic may not be suitable for sensitive people

You and your parents, a small family of hybrid bunnys, move to Las Nevadas, hoping to find a better living condition. Your parents were constantly arguing recently, as they were poor and wanted to find a new way to earn money.

You sold some carrot cupcakes that you made, in the poorest part of Luxurious City, but it didn't bring in as much profit as your parents would have liked - “300 Dollars a month is a pittance! You can’t buy anything!” Your father screamed, invalidating all your efforts.

୭  🩹 ✧ ˚.  ᵎᵎ  🩸

It was a silent night, and you were here, trying to sell at least half of your carrot cupcakes. You could hear some laughter in the distance, you look around, finding two silhouettes walking towards you.

They keep walking, walking straight past you. "Hang on!" You shout. The men turn to look at you, they were both wearing luxurious clothes, they didn't look like they were from here… The man with long black hair caught your attention.

“W-Wouldn’t you guys.. want to buy a carrot cupcake?… it’s only 10 dollars…” You stutter shyly, looking down, your ears flat against your head. The smaller one seemed excited, dirty with green goo. He runs to the stall, grabs one and quickly hands over the money. He takes a bite, savoring the flavor - “it’s very good, Mrs. Bunny!” He says, sounding like a child, you laugh, finding him adorable.

You could feel the other man's gaze on you, you look at him from the corner of your eye. He had a strange gleam in his eyes… Almost… Scary…

The small man waves at you, walking away. The taller man looked at you for a moment longer, before turning and walking away, without saying a word.

୭  🩹 ✧ ˚.  ᵎᵎ  🩸

It's been a week since you saw the strange man. Your parents were fighting more and more, and this time, they were cursing you too, saying how useless you were and how you didn't make money for them.

But one day… You come home after a long day of selling cupcakes, your parents were strangely quiet… no fighting…

You see them sitting on the couch, a big smile on their faces. How strange… “Honey! My lovely girl!” Your mother says, getting up to hug you, you thought this was strange, your parents weren't that affectionate… Your father gets up too, hugging you - “You will bring great profit to our family!” he says with an awkward smile.

You were confused, I didn't understand what was happening. What were they referring to? You look at both of them confused - “W-What’s going on?…” You ask, completely confused by the situation.

“The President liked you! Then we sell you for 1.5 million!” His mother screams in joy, making his eyes widen. They… Sold you?! What do you mean, how was that possible? They were your parents, they were supposed to love you, not discard you. You could feel your eyes filling with tears.

“I-I… I can’t accept this… I…” You say, trying to move away. But your parents stop you, they couldn't let your merchandise go out like that. Your mother grabs a glass of water, you were too shaken to notice anything. “Drink, darling.. it will help you” She says, handing you the glass, helping you sit on the couch. You drink, but you feel strangely drowsy, your eyes meeting a black blur, and then you collapse onto the couch.

୭  🩹 ✧ ˚.  ᵎᵎ  🩸

You wake up lying down in a comfortable place, your eyes were still blurry, but they quickly adjusted to the light of the place. You sit up, realizing you were on a bed, you look around the room. It was an extremely luxurious room, with shades of gold and red, your eyes widen and shine at the luxurious place you had never seen before.

The room seemed to have some childish tones, with some pink and white touches scattered throughout the room, the bed was full of stuffed animals, mainly rabbits. You get out of bed, trying to explore the room. But as soon as you stand up and take two steps forward, you fall onto the fluffy rug that surrounded the bed. It felt like something was making it impossible for you to walk freely.

You turn around to look at what had made you fall. Your eyes widened, a chain stuck around your ankle, maybe it was the drugs that were in your drink, but you hadn't noticed it before, and it was pretty tight apparently…

You get up, sit on the bed, staring at the big door that was in front of it, your ears pressed against your head, waiting for something to happen… Suddenly, the door opens, your ears quickly perk up.

Your eyes widened when you saw who it was. It was the strange man from that day… Wait, he was the president of this country? He walks up to you, a smile on his face, highlighting the gold tooth he had. You pull away, bumping into the headboard in the process.

He sits on the bed, next to you. He reaches out to caress your cheek, with a gentle smile on his face - “My little bunny… so adorable… you're mine now” He says, his face getting closer to yours, you could feel his breath.

After your first meeting, Quackity felt strangely attracted to you. A shy, small, adorable little thing. So sweet and submissive…it seemed extremely fun to break you.

Quackity chased you for that week, and the more and more he found out about you… the more obsessed he was.

Now you were in this place, totally trapped with this maniac… you didn't know what he had in store for you, and you were afraid of it.

He pulls you closer, stroking your hair. You could hear him whisper - “So beautiful… So small… So… mine”

୭  🩹 ✧ ˚.  ᵎᵎ  🩸

One month… one month you were with this maniac, and the feeling was the same as being in hell.

Cuts and purple marks spread all over your body, Quackity took out all his anger on you. He would hit you and cut you, just for his sadistic pleasure, he loved seeing you crying and screaming. Watching you break down little by little, only to become an empty mind completely submissive to him.

It was currently almost two in the morning, the ticking clock noise could be heard. You were trying to sleep but you couldn't, you had a feeling something bad was going to happen… You were currently lying in bed, wearing only a Quackity shirt that was much bigger than you.

Suddenly, the door opens, revealing Quackity. His white blouse had the first three buttons open, his tie was untied. You could smell alcohol and cigarettes coming from him.

He walks towards you, crooked steps indicating he was drunk. You look at him, completely scared, not knowing what he could do to you, trying to move away, but the chain on your ankle stopped you from going that far.

He sits on the bed, grabbing your wrist and pulling you closer to him, your head against his chest. You could feel him smelling your hair - “So sweet…” He whispers in his slightly drunken tone of voice.

You could feel their hands moving over your body. You let out a slight scream when you feel their hands squeezing your ass, you try to move away. He wouldn't do that to you… would he?

He spanks your ass - “Be quiet, be a good girl and accept this. I don’t want to hurt you” His tone of voice was threatening, you were shaking with fear. He pushes you, laying you down on the bed.

He lifts your big shirt that you were wearing, exposing your small breasts, he smiles… You were so cute. He bends down, taking one nipple into his mouth, starting to suck while playing with the other. You moan as his tongue grazes your hard nipple. You scream when you feel him bite your nipple hard, causing tears to run down your eyes.

You could feel him smile, you try to stay quiet, knowing that if you stayed quiet, it would be less worse. He leaves hickey marks on his chest, red and that would probably turn purple later. He forcefully opens your legs, ripping off your panties, clearly out of patience.

He lets out an irritated sigh when he feels that you're not wet for him at all - “I can't believe you're going to make me do this…” He says in a growl. You start to moan softly when you feel his thumb start to rub your clit, and soon one of his fingers enters you, preparing you for his cock.

He was out of patience, trying to finish this as quickly as possible so he could get his cock inside you. One finger soon becomes two, two fingers soon become three. His pace was relentless, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer. You were extremely sensitive, the stimulation on your clit combined with the relentless rhythm of his fingers inside you dragged you closer and closer to your limit.

You scream as you cum, your juices running down his fingers. He smiles, removing his fingers from inside you, taking them to his mouth to taste your juices - “So sweet… So sensitive…” He whispers, starting to take off his clothes. He completely unbuttons his white shirt, the red tie at the sides, he pulls his pants and underwear down. His hard cock springs out, its reddened tip oozing precum.

Your eyes widened, heavens… He was big! He holds your hips tightly, positioning his cock in front of your throbbing entrance. You scream as he thrusts inside you, even though you were prepared, it still hurt.

You cry as he pushes his cock all the way inside you, the tip hitting your cervix. He at least had the decency to wait for you to adjust. But soon he starts moving, his pace is never slow, but strong and fast. Hitting your cervix hard, leaving it bruised.

You screamed with each thrust, tears streaming down your rosy cheeks. You hated yourself for this, hated yourself for enjoying this. You scream too loudly when his tip hits your G-spot, making you cum hard. He laughs, laughs at how pathetic you are.

He reaches out with both hands, his big hands wrap around your small neck, squeezing lightly. You wrap your small hands around his wrist. trying to push him away? or pull him closer? you don't know anymore.

He continued to fuck you hard, making you more and more stupid. His thrusts soon began to become sloppy, indicating that he was getting closer as well. He soon stops brutally, his grip on your neck tightens, leaving you gasping for air, your nails scratching his wrists as he fills you with hot cum.

You cum again, squeezing his cock as your pussy sucks up his cum. He soon lets go of your neck, red handprints around your neck as you start to breathe again. He pulls his soft cock out of you, laying down next to you as he pulls you closer.

He kisses your forehead and lips, smelling your hair - “My bunny… My good girl… My everything… Mine, just mine..." He says breathlessly, hugging you tightly as he started to sleep. You sit there thinking, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be a good girl for him… In this beautiful luxurious room, like a golden cage…

<3

[waitmyturtles]

I've Caught Up With Wandee Goodday, and here are some cons and pros (aka, am I ever burnt out on GMMTV)

HELLO. I'm back temporarily from my summer travels (before I travel again!). I was in Thailand! I should have brought a box of chappals to chuck at the GMMTV building for where Wandee Goodday has gone. Anyway, I need to process my thoughts on this show, so here we go. (And I apologize, I have NOT looked at the tag for this show, so I don't know if I'm repeating what other people are saying here.)

PROS

CONS

1) This show had so much brainrot potential! Remember the first, like, four episodes? Potential homophobia in multiple workplaces? Delicious bisexuality? Ace storylines??? Wandee's PUTZ deception and manipulation? Yak going along with it, why?? There was a lot going on here, a lot we could have chewed on.

I've been sitting on my historical review of Golf Tanwarin's The Eclipse for my Old GMMTV Challenge for about two months now because I can't get over how pissed I was that that show took some unnecessary, and frankly insensible, turns in part to showcase the damn center ship of First and Khao. I don't think Golf's WG has taken similar turns specifically to center the GreatInn ship, per se -- I just think the writing got messy and lazy right before WG's midpoint in general, and punched a lot of the excitement I had about the show right before I paused around episode 8.

Wandee Goodday is an EXCELLENT example of how Thailand's hourlong QL dramas could be made INCREDIBLY more impactful, by way of forced editing and clarity, if Thailand could follow Japan's suit by making 10- to 12-episode series with 30-minute episodes.

The Dr. Ter storyline was over before it actually, really ended, in, what episode was that, 9 or 10. It was over! Why drag it out? In Japan, that storyline would have been two episodes, mayyybe three, MAX. Shirasu Jin was barely in Kieta Hatsukoi for an episode before he was banished. Takeda Kouhei barely made it through two episodes of Minato's Laundromat 2 before he went bye bye! We don't need these middling dudes. There was enough happening with Dee and Yak to not need this Ter shit! Sorry, LOVE YOU PODD, but Ter was made irrelevant so early on, and then they actually had to work together on a huge case?! And NOW HE'S CHEESING ON TAEM? Like, no. We don't need this.

2) There's still a lot of confusion and conflict between Dee and Yak by last week's episode 11. Dee's got issues receiving love! This is big.

(By the way. Showing Dee ONE video of his parents cheesing on him as a newborn is NOT THE WAY to explain away future parental neglect as an older child. YIKES.)

I love that Yak wants to invest in Dee, and we do see Dee doing a lot of reciprocating there to Yak, but this parental neglect reveal, along with still not knowing enough about the back story of Dee's parents dying, is out of order and not helpful to me getting enough knowledge about Dee for me to feel a holistic sympathy towards him. This makes me wonder if romance is really Golf Tanwarin's bag: if Golf didn't have to focus so much on the DeeYak/YakDee romance, could we have gotten better emotional representations of these guys, gotten a better picture of WHO THEY ARE, before they got into each other? Maybe? I dunno.

3) Considering that homophobia in systems seems to be a theme that Golf is interested in, why did the show drop Yak's concern about being out vis à vis his boxing career? Showing up at the hospital early on, in front of Ter's people, was already a big risk that wasn't given consideration; and now Dee's gone ahead and put the big pre-match smooch on full display by episode 11! I know Yak's gone full tilt for Dee, but I think we needed to put a bow on Yak's early macro-level concerns about being out for that loop to be closed.

[I feel like I have similar concerns here about 23.5 as well, so I'd like GMMTV to know (REMEMBER BAD BUDDY????) that you can have romance and big social commentary in a show at the same time without sacrificing lovely, intimate moments. Neither 23.5 nor Wandee Goodday needed to scrap heavy emotional moments for social media memeable clickbait.]

TL;DR this show, this script, could have been so good, there was so much there by way of storylines.

ANY FUCKING WAY.

PROS

1)

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHOW WENT HERE WITH THOR. THIS IS DISSONANCE, THIS IS CONFUSING! THIS IS MAGNIFICENT.

And the follow-up scene with the FABULOUS Fluke Nattanon. Fucking Thor. He's so good. They're so wasted in this show!

2) Great Sapol and Inn Sarin. There's a con here: the elephant pants do nothing for Great's butt. But otherwise, Great, and Inn as well, are DELIGHTS. THEY ARE GOOD ACTORS. They are wasted on this script. I hope they never work together on a GMMTV show again. If they're ever paired again (which I hope they're NOT, down with the ships), I hope they can get cast in a big ol' queer lakorn, à la JamFilm, and escape the need for the meme moments.

The thing is, about Wandee Goodday, is that if you admit you're into the show FOR THE DUDES, then I get why this show is watchable (AND IT'S WHY I'M FINISHING IT, GODDAMNIT), because the actual intimate moments ARE lovely. They're just not coherent with everything that we should know about these guys by the end of a series, and that makes me sad.

Anyway, this show ends this week, and that's it! I wish GMMTV's shop had had the WG items in stock when I was there in person; fuck these shipping fees, I want the Phadetseuk shirt so bad! If I had known this would be a kind of light and fluffy watch, I would have set my expectations WAAAYYY differently, and I would have likely had a better time watching this. As it stands now, I'm better suited to enjoy the finale, so I'm glad I got these complaints out of my system, and I'll say sayonara to all these dudes in full ogle mode later this week.

[samwisethewitch]

REVIEW: Backwoods Witchcraft by Jake Richards

I feel like Jake Richards's books are pretty popular with folk witches. If you have any interest in Appalachian folk magic, or even American folk magic more generally, you've probably at least heard of this book. Part of why I put off reviewing it for so long is because I feel like there's already been plenty of attention given to it online, so I'll try to make this brief.

Pros:

Definitely authentic Appalachian folk magic. Jake Richards writes about a lot of things I've seen people do or heard people talk about but never seen written anywhere.

This book is really well researched! I'm very impressed by all the references and footnotes.

I love that Richards uses the correct Tsalagi (Cherokee), Gaelige (Irish), and Gaelic (Scottish) words when talking about the cultures that influence Southern folk magic. I also love that he includes pronunciation guides.

Cons:

I didn't finish this book on my first read. It wasn't until I revisited it recently that I actually read to the end. Something about the writing style and the way the book is organized made it a little hard to follow at times, at least for me.

The research is generally good, but there's definitely more detail given for European and Cherokee cultural influences than for African. When talking about European influences, Richards will usually specify the specific country or culture something comes from, but for African influences he just says "African." While this research is harder to do because the slave trade intentionally cut people off from their cultural traditions, other authors like Luisah Teish and Stephanie Rose Bird have shown that we can often trace these African influences back to a specific culture, or at least a region. I would have liked to see the same level of effort put into researching African practices that went into the European ones.

Other Observations:

Christianity is a big part of the author's practice. This is faithful to traditional Appalachian conjure, but just know that it may be triggering if you've experienced religious trauma in a Christian setting. I found this book harder to read than other books on conjure that incorporate Christian elements, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because it sounded too similar to the Appalachian church where my abuse happened? Just something to be aware of if this is a tricky topic for you.

Overall Rating: 4/5 stars

[gallafics]

𝙶𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚏𝚒𝚌'𝚜 𝚁𝚎𝚌𝚜

Category — My Comfort Fics (No Major Spoilers)

“The Fight For You” by WishIHadWings

Complete. 45 chapters. 328k words. Explicit Mexico AU. Slow burn. Cheating. Smutty. Angsty. Fluffy. End game but detailed Mickey/OMC. Brief Ian/Trevor.

Beautiful dynamic. Their chemistry is INSANE in this fic. The build up is phenomenal. The reunion sex is chefs kiss perfection. Say what you want but one of my fav tropes is “Mickey/Ian in a relationship and cheating to be with Ian/Mickey.” Parts of this fic are so painful to read, the angst gets ANGSTY in this one. (Full review — coming soon!)

“You can’t hurry love” by @crazynadine (Ao3)

Complete. 43 chapters. 464k words. Explicit. Graphic depictions of violence. Rape/non-con. Angsty. Smutty. Happy ending. Drug abuse. Domestic Violence. Slow burn.

This fic is one I hold so close to my heart. I relate to a lot of things in this fic. With that being said, please read the trigger warning and take care of your mental health when reading as it deals with some pretty heavy themes. Ian and Mickey are both with others but when they give in and finally come back together is literally so beautiful. Definitely a must read! (Full review — coming soon!)

“Silent Pain in Emerald Eyes” by @takeyourpillsbitchh (Ao3)

WIP. 7 chapters. 54k words. Explicit. Graphic depictions of violence. Rape/non-con. Angsty. Suicidal thoughts. PTSD. Mute!Ian Gallagher. Therapist!Mickey. Taboo relationship — therapist/patient. Happy ending. Romantic tension. Sexual tension. Mutual Pining.

This fic being incomplete doesn’t some me from rereading it over and over. This is another that I would say to definitely make sure you read the trigger warning and make sure you’re in a good mental space. It also deals with some pretty heavy themes. Mickey and Ian’s connection in this fic is unmatched for me, they just get each other so well in this one. They both have been through so many traumatizing things and Mickey uses his trauma to help Ian heal from his trauma in a healthy way. It’s quite beautiful. I literally wait with bated breath for the author to update! (Full Review — Coming soon)

“The Crimes Surrounding Ian Gallagher” by RumbleFish14

Rereleased WIP. 11 chapters. 85k words. Graphic depictions of violence. Major character death. Rape/non-con. Underage. Angsty. Smutty. Strangers to lovers. Ghosts. Detective!Mickey. Ghost!Ian. Love at first sight. Murder. Underage sex/relationship. Mystery with a twist.

This is one of the first fics I ever read when I joined the fandom, when I tell you I about peed my pants when I realized the author reuploaded this fic I’m not kidding. I actually squealed. It is a beautiful, intricate, detailed story and writes as a true mystery novel with hints of romance. I do know the ending as I have the original downloaded, and I’m confident to say it’s a happy ending, but I’m not sure if I should upload the download link? I will have to get in touch with the author somehow! Please, give this fic a chance if you feel your mental can handle it, it’s truly an amazing read. (Full review — coming soon)

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Revelation and Confrontation

Well, here we are. The final seven episodes of the season. For the most part, Season 5's episodes have been boring at worst and passable at best, with only about four episodes I'd consider to be outright bad. That pretty much disappears starting here. It's like the writers held back for most of the season, and just as the final arc was about to begin, right when most of the audience was led into a false sense of security, they were like:

Let's get into the twentieth and twenty-first episodes of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Revelation and Confrontation

So, for an episode titled “Revelation”, you'd assume it would focus on Marinette and Adrien finally learning the other's secret after all these years, right? Nope, it's a Lila episode, as in Lila is the character we follow. How does it open? By revealing that Lila has different moms she's conning into believing she's their daughter.

I believe Linkara best captures my reaction to this.

YEP. Right out of the gate, we get arguably one of the dumbest plot twists in TV history. For an episode that's supposed to help us learn more about Lila's life, it's only raising more questions than it's answering, and it feels like it was there just for the sake of shocking the audience.

First off, why is she doing this? What does she possibly have to gain living with three random women who, as far as I can tell, have no political, social, or financial power whatsoever? Her entire motivation is lying to make herself look good so she can kiss up to famous people and ride the coattails of their success. Who the hell are these three people and why did Lila chose to pretend to be their daughter? In fact, are any of them even her biological mother?

Second, how did she even pull this off? I can somewhat buy her tricking her peers into believing her lies, but three grown women all believe this person is their daughter? Did she fake a DNA test or something? Did she frame some other kids for murder? Is one of them the kid in Omelas? Did the other moms adopt Lila? They must have, because I'm pretty sure any of them would know they were pregnant, but how did she fake being an orphan? How has she not been caught? The scene establishing this shows her ending a call with one of her mothers right as another one enters her room. You're telling me nobody has ever walked in on Lila talking with one of her mothers?

Third, just how long has she been doing this for? Has she been doing this her entire life? Did she frame her real mother for tax fraud at the age of five so she could explore the world? When the hell did she start doing this, and how did she even get the resources to do it? Does she have more than three moms?

Finally, what the hell does any of this tell us about Lila? We already know she's a liar and a villain, but what does learning she lies about who her mother is accomplish for the narrative. Outside of a single line to Sabine later on that heavily implies she wants to make her her next mother, this scene is entirely pointless. Sure, it shows how effective of a liar she is, but that's what the episode is already setting out to show us! We already know she's manipulative, so what's the point of any of this?!

Jesus Christ, we're only on the first scene, and I'm already pissed off. You see what I mean about these last seven episodes?

After lying some more, Lila learns an update to the Alliance rings has Kagami replace her as the female avatar. When she goes to ask Gabriel why he's cutting off ties with her, we learn just why Gabriel is such a tactical genius.

Gabriel: You were only the face of my brand in exchange for a mission: to monitor my son's relationships and keep him away from bad company. You failed. My son got close to this Marinette Dupain-Cheng who's been nothing but a terrible influence on him. But you did give me one excellent idea: to create a new media-friendly pairing for my son, which is why Kagami Tsurugi will be the new female face of the Gabriel brand. Perfection itself! All that remains to do is perpetuate this facade until it becomes truth in everyone's eyes. And until jealousy eats away at Marinette Dupain-Cheng...

Lila: But... What's to become of me?

Gabriel: You just remain what you are. Nothing.

Because it's not like Lila is easily your most competent ally (at least, by comparison), and is the only one who doesn't hate your guts, right? Seriously, Lila's biggest motivation other than fame is to ruin Marinette's life, and for the most part, as bad as the writing has been, she has been mostly effective in damaging her reputation (Chameleon, Ladybug, Adoration). For God's sake, if it wasn't for her, you would have been exposed as Monarch earlier this season in “Illusion”! Say what you will about Lila as a character and how stupid everyone acts when she's on-screen, but at least she's good at her job.

Lila walks off fuming, and Gabriel considers akumatizing her, but doesn't want to risk it because of how much she hates him... even though multiple Akumas over the course of the show were people who hated Gabriel or wanted revenge on him (The Bubbler, Simon Says, Style Queen, Heart Hunter, Passion, Action). It also doesn't stop him from akumatizing Lila later on in the episode, because her hatred is now directed at Marinette. And as we all know, it's physically impossible to hate more than one person at a time.

After a quick scene showing Marinette and Adrien's relationship is now public knowledge, we cut to class, where Ms. Bustier is handing back tests.

Also, despite being in the second trimester of her pregnancy (which hasn't been mentioned since the New York Special, over two years before this episode premiered), Ms. Bustier is wearing no maternity clothes to speak of, just her usual outfit with a noticeable baby bump.

I'm obviously not an expert, but I don't think that's good for the baby. If anyone reading this has experience with being pregnant, feel free to correct me.

Ms. Bustier points out that Sabrina put her name on both hers and Chloe's. Ms. Bustier naturally wants to know what the hell is going on.

Ms. Bustier: How long has this been going on?

Chloe: Oh, since we learned to write-- I mean, since Sabrina did.

Yep, after almost five seasons, the writers are now officially resorting to making dumb blonde jokes, the only kind of humor rivaled by fart jokes and racist jokes in terms of being overused and unfunny.

Ms. Bustier lets Sabrina off with a warning and decides to help Chloe make up for the lost work and salvage her academic career. For some reason, even though this is a reasonable response to discovering one of your students has been cheating for years, Marintte has a problem with this.

Marinette: Everybody knows that Chloe been cheating, taking advantage of Sabrina and not making any efforts compared to the others... for years! And the only consequence is that she's going to get help?! Of course, we need to support students who have problems, but not when they're the problem!

If you had a problem with Chloe mistreating Sabrina, THEN WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL MS. BUSTIER YOURSELF? Even Lila points out that Marinette should have pointed this out to the teachers as class representative (I'm not sure if that's a thing in French schools, but let's assume it is for this episode's sake), but Marinette herself says she chose not to.

Marinette: Why would I have? She doesn't have difficulties! Only privileges! And if you need proof to see how the teachers will let her get away with anything!

What was it Alya said in “Origins”? Something about evil triumphing if good people do nothing? Eh, I'll think about it later.

Also, who's to say this isn't a punishment? Chloe is still going to have to make up her work, she'll need more attention from the faculty as a result, summer school is most likely on the table now, and who's to say her dad won't have problems with this? Yeah, we know he's a spineless coward, but let's assume he'll actually act like a parent for once, for the sake of argument.

Despite outright saying that she neglected her duties as class representative, Marinette is shocked Lila takes the chance to suggest she replace her for the job. Later at lunch, like what's happened in every other Lila episode, Marinette tries to tell Alya that Lila is a liar, Alya doesn't believe her for a second, and nothing changes. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that this time, Adrien and Nino are there too! That makes it different!

Seriously, why are we still doing this? It's almost the end of Season 5, and even though Alya is one of Marinette's trusted confidants, the show still needs to have this drama with her not believing her. It honestly feels like a lot of the Lila episodes this season were originally written before Season 4 aired, but something changed, so they just threw them here when it makes no sense for Alya to still doubt Marinette after all this time. It's also why they randomly threw this line in to remind us that Alya knows.

Alya: You know, even Ladybug accepts help from Scarabella every once in a while.

Yeah, mind telling me what happened the last time Alya transformed into Scarabella?

OH RIGHT.

It's during this little conversation where we get the first hint of the episode's moral, and believe me, I'll get to that. Alya tries to reason with Marinette that maybe it's possible for Lila to help Chloe change for the better, which Marinette vehemently refuses to believe. We're clearly supposed to see Alya as being too naive and is oblivious to Lila's true nature, but neither of them know just how bad she really is. We, the audience, know that Lila has worked with Gabriel and Monarch willingly in the past (Heroes' Day, Chameleon, Miraculer, Illusion, Adoration) and that she's living under several fake identities. Yeah, we know Lila hates Marinette and tried to get her expelled in “Ladybug”, but nobody else knows just how bad she is. It doesn't help that Marinette's reasons for Lila only amount to “She's a liar!”, and not “She tried to get me expelled!”, intentionally making her come across as petty so it's easier for Alya to doubt her.

Another thing that makes the whole “Alya thinks Lila can help Chloe change” deal is that we already know Marinette has done nothing to really stop her behavior as class representative or as Ladybug, so it's hard to really act like Marinette contributes a lot to the job, especially when, once again, she willingly admitted to not even trying to reach out to the other teachers about Chloe's grades or how she's using Sabrina to get by in class. Even though Alya doesn't know about Lila's true nature, she's not wrong when it comes to believing someone else could bring something new to the position of class representative.

And this only gets worse, as we see Lila's latest plan to win over the class.

Lila: My dear classmates, I am convinced that even the worst person can change if you reach out to them. And to prove it to you, Chloe, will you be my deputy?

(The whole class gasps in shock)

Chloe: (sighs and walks to the front, putting on a fake smile)

Nino: Wow, is Chloe actually going to be a mere deputy?

Alya: That is so not Chloe!

Rose: Does this mean it's already working?

Mylene: Can Lila actually get her to change?

Marinette: (slams her fists on her table) This is so crazy! It's all lies!

Lila: Poor Marinette... couldn't succeed because she was too busy with her love life, as well as being reminded of her disdain for Chloe. But you know me. You know all about my humanitarian work. I'm used to going into conflict zones. I can do this. There are two weeks left. What do you have to lose? Help me, help Chloe change. Vote for me!

OH, YOU NO GOOD MOTHERFU---

Sorry, sorry. Had a little... episode there. Where were we?

Okay, first off, wow. Are you trying to seriously piss off your fanbase? The whole argument of being able to appeal to the humanity in the worst person is one of the biggest arguments people in favor of Chloe redemption make, so you know damn well this scene was targeted towards them. What was the original draft for this? A still image of Thomas Astruc flipping off the audience?

Second, once again, Lila isn't wrong. As far as we know, Marinette did nothing to really help or stop Chloe over the school year other than foiling the occasional scheme. While we know it's a lie, can you really blame the rest of the class for believing Lila will actually make things better for them by finding a way to stop Chloe from bullying them? It doesn't help that the case Marinette makes for her class representative campaign is that she's giving up on helping Chloe, saying she sucks, and that she's going to help the rest of the class instead. Because we all know showing blatant bias against one of your classmates is a surefire way to win the favor of your peers, right?

As for the speech itself? Well...

Marinette: My dear friends, of course, you should always do everything in your power to help people. And we all hoped that Chloe would become a better person. Ladybug reached out to her. Ms. Bustier reached out to her. So did Adrien and so did I. You all reached out to her. This proves how big your hearts are. And yet, Chloe remained the same. Why? Because as far as she's concerned, having a big heart is a weakness to be exploited. Chloe already believes she's better than all of us. So... don't be fooled. I, for one, am done wasting my energy in vain. As class representative, I'd much rather help all of you because you deserve it a thousand times more.

So here's the main moral of the episode, kids: If you ever decide to be the bigger person and show kindness to someone who is mean to you, it's going to bite you in the ass sooner or later, so never try helping other people change. I just... what the fuck, Astruc?

Yeah, the show tries to point out that being kind to others is still important, but the context of the episode itself doesn't show any examples. You could have used Kim as an example of someone who has changed his ways, but “Derision” retconned him into not being a bully, and Felix isn't even in this episode, so he can't be used as an example. The episode never really provides an argument showing the difference between people who can change their ways and people who choose not to, which is why the lesson doesn't work. How exactly is a child watching this supposed to tell when they're being taken advantage of for their kindness? For a show with an opening that has the lyrics, “The power of love always so strong”, this episode really isn't doing a lot to encourage its audience to show compassion to others.

And we're not done yet. Lila makes up a sob story relating to getting fired, and tearfully says there's no hope for Chloe. Once again, the writers think by having a villain say stuff certain fans believe in, it's meant to automatically invalidate the argument. What are you going to have Lila say next? “Felix should face consequences for his actions”? “Gabriel is far worse than Chloe will ever be”? “Somehow, Chloe is worse than either of her terrible parents”? I'm all ears here.

The entire story was a gambit by Lila so she'd have a cover story, as she plans to attract an Akuma with her sheer hatred for Marinette. Like I said earlier, Monarch assumes that since Lila hates Marinette at the moment, it's impossible for her to harbor any negative feelings towards his civilian identity, choosing to akumatize her into Hoaxer.

Ignoring the fact that the name sounds like it belongs to an antidepressant, Hoaxer is an okay recolor of Volpina. There's not much else to say visually. Her powers involve brainwashing anyone who hears her lies through the Alliance rings... even though she was already able to manipulate others through lying, so this seems like a redundant power to give her. Sure, she can also teleport through the Alliance rings, but that's just something Lady Wifi could already do. Monarch also gives her the Fox Miraculous' Mirage to use so she can create fake footage to back up her lies... even though she already has the power to make everyone believe her lies. Yeah, this upgrade is kind of pointless, isn't it?

Hoaxer's first lie is to say that Marinette is really Monarch. With the exception of Adrien, Ivan, and Mylene (who don't wear Alliance rings), the entire class is brainwashed into hunting Marinette, believing they'll save Paris if they stop her. After Adrien points out how it wouldn't make sense for Marinette to be Monarch if she wants Lila to expose her secrets, he ducks out to transform into Cat Noir, soon meeting up with Ladybug.

Ladybug and Cat Noir steal an Alliance ring from Officer Roger to learn how this power works, only to learn the brainwashing is only effective as long as the victim is wearing an Alliance ring. Hoaxer senses that one of her victims lost their ring, so she turns the rest of Paris against the two heroes by saying that they're from the planet Saturn and fart bubbles that destroy the ozone layer. Believe me, I wish I was able to come up with a line that stupid.

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, and gets a sewing machine. She goes back to her house, only to be ambushed by Alya. Ladybug takes off the ring and detransforms, lending the Ladybug Miraculous to Alya so she can transform into Scarabella as part of her plan. Because even though Alya has already been exposed three times in the past two seasons, the animators paid for the Scarabella model, and goddamn it, they're going to get their money's worth out of it. While Cat Noir fends off some brainwashed civilians, Hoaxer uses her powers on Nathalie to get her to send all of Gabriel's private secrets to her. How Monarch doesn't sense this is anyone's guess. Marinette pretends to appeal to Lila's conscience as part of a plan involving her, Scarabella, and Cat Noir, but Lila then rejects the Akuma with ease.

The Akuma somehow de-evilizes itself, Scarabella makes her only contribution to the fight by using Miraculous Scarabella to fix the damage, Monarch still doesn't know Lila now has intel on his civilian identity when he should have a telepathic link with her, and instead blames Marinette for all of his problems.

Back at school, Adrien apologizes to Marinette for not telling her to act against Lila, something that should be huge. It's just that both of them make it about how bad he feels, not about Marinette.

Adrien: I'm sorry, Marinette. I was wrong. I shouldn't have told you to act against Lila. If you give the slightest opportunity to people like her, they'll grasp at it and cause disasters in no time. And now, you're the one who looks like a bad person.

Marinette: You thought you were doing the right thing. Just like with Chloe. That's another reason why I love you, Adrien. You always want to see the good in other people. But sometimes, the good we think we see in some people is just a reflection of our own, and we end up being fooled by our own kindness. But we'll find a way to expose Lila eventually.

Nevermind the fact that Lila's lies haven't done anything to negatively affect Adrien at school, only Marinette, so his little pity doesn't feel earned. There's a difference between feeling bad about something and making it all about you. Also, once again, the episode's moral still comes across less like “mean people can take advantage of your kindness” and more like “never trust anyone, as your attempts to show kindness can backfire horribly on you”.

Lila is elected class representative, and Alya still believes her over Marinette. How does Marinette respond?

Marinette: I decided to let her have her way so I can finally prove to you all who she really is.

Spoiler alert, next episode, someone other than Marinette does the heavy lifting to expose Lila, and I doubt it was ever part of Marinette's plan.

The episode ends with Lila learning all of Gabriel's secrets, which would have been a much better opportunity for her to learn he's Monarch instead of learning about it off-screen as far back as “Emotion”.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... MARINETTE

Once again, Gabriel was very close to earning the Biggest Idiot Award for the third time for ditching Lila for no reason and later giving her the tools needed to learn his deepest and darkest secrets, but Marinette edged him out here. Not only did Marinette outright admit to neglecting her responsibilities as class representative, blamed Ms. Bustier for not doing anything about Chloe when she hasn't done anything to stop her either, and made a very poor argument for her reelection campaign by saying that being nice is bad. But hey, maybe her genius plan next episode will make up for it.

“Confrontation” starts off with Adrien struggling to fill out an orientation form for what kind of school he wants to go to next year and what he'll study. I'm not really an expert in French schools, but I'll assume this is how things are done there. Either way, Adrien isn't willing to fill out the form because as we saw in “Pretension”, Gabriel is planning on sending him to a private school in London next year. Why Adrien wasn't excused from this assignment is beyond me.

Adrien: If Marinette finds out that my father's decided to send me to a private school in London next year, it will break her heart and mine, too.

Again, it's really funny how a huge portion of his screentime in Season 4 involved being angry at Ladybug for keeping secrets from him, yet now, Adrien sees nothing wrong with keeping secrets from Marinette, even when it's inevitable that she'll find out. Then again, Plagg's response isn't any better.

Plagg: I know how I would feel if I had to be separated from you, Adrien, and there is nothing funny about that at all.

Then why did you force Adrien to give up his Miraculous in “The Kwamis' Choice”?! I'm pretty sure that was all your idea, as was what happened afterwards with Monarch almost winning.

As Marinette worries about the career stuff, but through some flashbacks showing just how selfish and one-dimensional Chloe and Lila are, she's not exactly confident they have her best interests in mind. Also, remember how Marinette said she supposedly let Lila win at the end of the last episode in order to make progress on finding a way to stop her?

Marinette: I feel like I'm betraying our friends by entrusting their forms to such awful girls.

As we'll later learn, while she does come up with a plan to expose Lila, it was after this scene that it happened, so this doesn't really make it look like Marinette has any ideas to stop Lila after she won at the end of the last episode. After the rest of the class fills out their forms, Lila destroys them all so Sabrina can forge their handwriting. Of course, not before we get another “funny” scene where Chloe struggles to understand their own plan.

Lila: After you destroy the forms, you'll fill out new ones using your talent for forging student's handwriting. I'll tell you what to write.

Chloe: Not so fast! You're using too many words to explain your plan!

GET IT? DO YOU GET IT?! SHE'S RICH AND BLONDE, SO THAT MEANS SHE'S STUPID! WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING AT THIS COMEDY GOLD?!

Meanwhile, Nino calls for another meeting of the totally useful and not at all irrelevant Resistance, citing an issue. Because they're all planning to go to different schools next year, they're not sure how they can help Ladybug and Cat Noir... other than, oh, I don't know, meeting outside of school? It doesn't matter, because everyone unanimously volunteers to go to the same high school next year. Well, everyone except Nathaniel, but that's not important.

After Marinette gets a call from someone, Mylene suggests that the class go on strike against being forced to decide their careers so early in life. This would have made a lot more sense if you chose to do this before submitting your forms, but hey, whatever floats your boat. Adrien finally figures out what he wants to do, so he hands his form over to Lila. What did he write down?

Lila: (reading the letter) “I've been thinking a lot, and still not know what I would like to do later in life. The only thing I know for sure is that I love Marinette Dupain-Cheng. But I guess that doesn't really help you. I'm sorry. Adrien Agreste.”

Minimum wage at Wendy's it is. Good choice, Adrien.

Yeah, I think now's as good a time as any to talk about how flat Adrien's character has been this season. Even though Adrien has gotten more character focus thanks to not being hampered by loads of other side characters and temp heroes, he hasn't really had a lot of strong moments overall. Scenes that should feel like a big deal, like him accidentally Cataclysming Monarch or realizing he has feelings for Marinette are usually downplayed or brushed off so we can see how those events affect other characters. We don't get any scenes with Adrien feeling guild for possibly condemning a man to death because more focus is given to Gabriel dealing with his impending demise. We don't get any scenes that show how Adrien has come to see Marinette in a romantic light because more focus is given to Marinette struggling to deal with his sudden confession. And here's this scene. Rather than showing Adrien developing an interest in something he wants to do for a career, a huge sign of his growing independence, what do we get? Adrien saying he loves Marinette and admitting he has no goddamn idea what he wants to do with his life. Such a defining moment for one of the two main characters in the show. I'm just saying, if the last season made a big deal about Adrien wanting to be treated more importantly, why is he still getting shafted by the narrative?

And for the umpteenth time this season, because Chloe is the one saying that Adrien's form is “pathetic”, we're supposed to not agree with her, even though this is supposed to be a serious form that your teachers will see. Just what is this show's obsession with using strawmen to try and invalidate criticism? I've seen more nuanced takes from political cartoons.

Lila and Chloe present the forged forms to the teachers, assigning all kinds of inaccurate assignments for careers that the students don't want. Lila manages to get one student in particular held back, Marin—Juleka. Yeah, Juleka, Lila's most hated enemy is being forced to repeat a year. Why didn't Lila try to keep Marinette held back?

To be fair, Lila's plan is to slander Marinette specifically, but screwing over the entire class feels like a bit of a reach. I don't even know if part of Lila's plan was to attract an Akuma or not. Speaking of, Monarch senses Juleka's negative emotions and sends a Megakuma her way. Because it's a day that ends with a “Y”, the Magical Charm does nothing, so for the sixth time in the series (not counting her brief appearance in “Ladybug”), Juleka is akumatized into Reflekta. I swear, at this point you could make a drinking game for every time an old character model is reused this season.

Reflekta's design is pretty alright. I like the idea of the shy and quiet Juleka getting a brightly colored form that's impossible to ignore, and her power to make everyone else look like her fits her character. Unlike other returning Akumas this season, Reflekta gets a noticeable upgrade to her powers, as now she can essentially create a hive mind with all of her victims on top of getting the Tiger Miraculous' Clout to do some extra damage. Wow, it's almost like the Miraculous powers should actually serve as upgrades to established powers instead of being the only thing that gives the Akuma their powers.

Reflekta goes to town assimilating more victims, Marinette does nothing to get the still pregnant Ms. Bustier to safety so she can dart off and transform into Ladybug. By the time Ladybug and Cat Noir meet up, the city is crawling with Reflektas.

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, getting a plastic tape dispenser. Using Cat Noir's staff and the tape, the two put up a fake brick wall poster in an alleyway. The two heroes split up and draw a Reflekta's attention respectively, pretending to be helpless once they reach a “dead end” at the fake brick wall. When the two Reflektas try to use Clout, Ladybug and Cat Noir duck out of the way, letting the two attacks collide.

Ladybug de-evilizes the Megakuma, uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, and gives Juleka yet another useless Magical Charm.

And while you'd think this is where the episode ends, unfortunately, we're only halfway done. Id anything, this entire fight was pointless, and it's going to lead to a lot of problems with the pacing later on.

Back at school, Lila takes the opportunity to pin the blame on Marinette, though when Marinette points out how good Sabrina is at forging handwriting, Sabrina admits to helping them out. While the blame is still on Marinette, Chloe and Lila follow Sabrina when she runs out of the classroom. In the bathroom, Sabrina is still upset about what she had to do, and when Chloe and Lila confront her and try to keep her in line, only for Sabrina to reveal it was a trap for Chloe and Lila to confess their plan in front of the rest of the class, and one that had been set up a few days ago by Sabrina and Marinette.

So after an episode that went out of its way to show how apologetically irredeemable Chloe and Lila are, Sabrina is the one to ultimately turn a new leaf and is the key player in stopping Chloe and Lila's tyranny. Let's go into all the reasons as to why this failed to be a triumphant moment.

First off, why is Sabrina the key player who helps finally expose Lila? Why not Adrien, or Alya, or anyone else in Marinette's class? Rather than work together with her friends to show she wasn't lying, Marinette only works with Sabrina, and they act like they're the close friends working together. What, you thought Adrien or maybe Alya would help Marinette expose Lila like the end of the last episode hinted at? HA! Of course not.

Second, Sabrina's redemption is forced as hell. I'm not saying Sabrina turning a new leaf is entirely impossible, but the show just expects us to forget all the times she's gone along with Chloe's bullying antics (Origins, Mr. Pigeon, Lady Wifi, Dark Cupid, Horrificator, Darkblade, Reflekta, Zombizou, Stormy Weather 2, Lies, Sole Crusher, Gabriel Agreste, Derision, Adoration), and even in this episode, she still helped forge the new forms for Chloe and Lila. Remember how “Derision” said Chloe's actions couldn't be excused by how poorly she was treated by her mother? Funny how Sabrina's actions can be excused by how poorly she was treated by Chloe. The redemption honestly could have worked if it was Marinette who reached out to Sabrina and saw the good in her, teaching the lesson that while some people refuse to change, that doesn't mean other people can't change either. But instead, Sabrina's just a good guy because the plot said so, a deus ex Sabrina if you will.

Third, this was Marinette's plan to stop Lila? Like I said, while the previous episode made it seem like Marinette had an idea on how to expose Lila, this episode showed that Marinette had absolutely no plans prior Sabrina's call, and she handed over the sheets to Chloe and Lila earlier. What was Marinette even going to do if Sabrina didn't call? This only makes Sabrina's redemption feel even more forced, because that was what led to Chloe and Lila being exposed.

And finally, we don't even get a lot of resolution with Marinette's classmates believing Lila over her once she's exposed.

Yes, there was a deleted scene where Alya and the others apologize to Marinette instead of just Ms. Bustier which was supposedly cut for time constraints, but why would you leave that out when Marinette's friends believing Lila over her has always been a sore spot among viewers? If only there was another scene that could have been cut out of the episode that added nothing to the plot over an important character moment showing how guilty Marinette's friends feel.

Chloe and Lila are expelled by Mr. Damocles, but then he gets a call from Andre ordering him to keep them in and do nothing to change the forged forms. Normally, this would be something to make Andre out to be a bad guy, but like Sabrina, because he's being belittled and ordered around by someone else (in this case, Audrey), we're meant to sympathize with him. Trust me, it gets even worse next episode.

Mr. Damocles is upset enough to attract another Megakuma from Monarch. You would think Marinette would transform into Ladybug and save him,but the episode does something different. Somehow, because of the other students telling him to believe in himself, all of their Magical Charms resonate with Mr. Damocles' Magical Charm. And then, his Magical Charm transforms into a shield which de-evilizes the Akuma as soon as it touches it?

I'm sorry, WHAT!?

Yeah... that just happened. I'm happy the Magical Charm actually did something for once, but I don't get why this was the climax of the episode. Why did this episode spend more time focusing on Juleka, Sabrina, and Mr. Damocles instead of Marinette's final battle of wits with Lila? Forget it, it's almost over anyway.

Mr. Damocles sends in the correct forms for the students before he resigns as principal, and we then cut to Ms. Bustier realizing that Chloe is pure evil and needs to face consequences for her actions. What does Chloe say that causes her to come to this revelation?

Ms. Bustier: Where's Lila?

Chloe: How should I know? I'm not the betrayer's mother.

Yep. A somewhat rude answer to a question Chloe doesn't even know the answer to is the last straw for Ms. Bustier. Maybe it's the hormones? Ms. Bustier decides to give extra attention to Chloe going forward, and somehow, that's different from Ms. Bustier wanting to help Chloe make up her schoolwork at the beginning of the last episode. But what happened to Lila, you may ask?

Oh my God, she's cosplaying as T'pol from Star Trek: Enterprise! The fiend!

Yep, Lila abandoned her old school and moved onto one of her other lives, now calling herself Cerise. Okay, a few questions.

First, was she wearing makeup as Lila or something? I'm not sure if it's the lighting in this one scene, but I swear, her skin looks lighter than Cerise here.

Second, how is Lila going to blend in under her new identity when for a while, she was the face of the Gabriel brand? What, is she going to claim that “Lila” is her twin sister or something?

Third, if Lila's trying to blend in as Cerise, why did she throw her old wig in the trash, in broad daylight?

Fourth, why wasn't this scene the one used to establish Lila has multiple lives? It actually feels plot-relevant, unlike the revelation of her having three different mothers last episode.

Finally, we're really going to brush over Lila facing any setback to her vague goals? She got expelled, and we don't even get to see her face consequences for her actions after all these years? What a load...

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS...MARINETTE

Yep, Marinette got the award twice in the same two-parter, and this is her third one at that. Adrien was sort of close to winning it with his stupid application form and not doing anything to stop Lila himself, and even though Marinette's plan to expose Lila worked, I still had to give it to her. She willingly gave her and her friends application forms to Chloe and Lila without any plans in case they tried something bad, had absolutely no plan to stop Lila in general until Sabrina came alone, and didn't think to simply de-evilize a Megakuma targeting her principal when Lila was able to sneak out with no problem.

Anyway, these episodes SUCK. I know it might not seem as noticeable compared to my reviews last season, as I've been trying to not get too angry, but I still couldn't stand these episodes.

As always, Lila's lies are incredibly stupid and don't work under the suspension of disbelief, especially with what we learn about her here. What I don't get is that we still don't know why Lila does what she does. I still don't know why she is so obsessed with getting the better of Marinette and Gabriel outside of being petty, and given what happens by the end of the season, it makes her unclear motivation even less excusable. In a pair of episodes meant to give more focus to Lila as she tries to ruin Marinette's reputation right before the school year ends, we really needed more depth for her character.

Marinette wasn't any better. What should have been a standout moment for her this season, she spent most of these two episodes complaining about Chloe and Lila when she did nothing to really stop them, and only made progress when Sabrina had a change of heart out of nowhere. Hell, even then, Chloe and Lila barely faced any setbacks for their actions. Marinette honestly felt very underutilized in what should have been an important set of episodes for the season.

Adrien didn't fare any better. He barely got to do anything and unlike Marinette, he wasn't even involved with the final plan, despite the ending of “Revelation” hinting that he and Marinette were going to work together to stop Lila. And then there's the form he filled out where he pretty much confirmed that he has no goals in life and that the writers just have no idea what the hell they want to do with him now that he's Marinette's boyfriend.

But let's talk about what I think really killed these two episodes, specifically “Confrontation”: The unnecessary focus on side characters. I can understand why Ms. Bustier needed more focus in these episodes, considering it was focused on the school environment, but I can't give that kind of lenience to “Confrontation”. That episode decided rather than focusing on Marinette finally outsmarting Lila, we needed more focus on Sabrina, Juleka, and Mr. Damocles. Why did we need to give Sabrina a change of heart over Marinette's friends working together to help her expose Lila? Why did we need Juleka to be targeted by Lila and subsequently akumatized by Monarch in a gambit to slander Marinette when all Lila had to do was have it look like Marinette tampered with Chloe's form? Why did we need an extended sequence of Mr. Damocles fending off an Akuma with the help of his class when he had no real presence in this arc, and if anything, took Chloe and Lila's side more often than not (Ladybug, Derision)? I don't get why the writers chose the tail end of the season to actually develop some of its side characters at the expense of major players like Marinette, Adrien, and Lila.

Look, these episodes were just awful, okay? And somehow, things manage to get worse as we get closer and closer to the end of the season.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/22/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys Darby's 3 cameos Jeez; Clowning/Honking (no clown pictures); PhoneInFriday in the UK; SaveOFMD Crew Events on IG; Fan Spotlight; Custom Jackets; Collages; Chxrlotte New Song: OFMD; Morale/Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

== Rhys Darby ==

Good god, 3 Cameo's today? I hope you all enjoy dopamine-- remember to take a break in between because SHEESH. My brain overloaded real bad on #VitaminRD.

= Cameo 1: =

The latest cameo features Rhys as Murray from Flight of the Conchords Thank you @it_llpass and "The Maybe Dids", a group of FotC fans, for getting this cameo and sharing it with everyone! Rhys Sings Leggy Blonde at the end, be sure to hold onto you seat. Src: Cameo Link - Also up on the Repo in the Cameo's section

= Cameo 2: =

This cameo was put together by NDKiwi and The Giggle Bytes (and special thanks to @yronnia for keeping me in the loop, I've been waiting for this one since you mentioned it! The Giggle Bytes are a group of fans who really love Rhys and his Robots and sound effects! Thank you to everyone who was involved in getting this wonderfully whimsical video made! Src: Cameo Link

= Cameo 3: =

Thank you to the HWCC for this wonderful clowning video! Rhys scared the crap out of me in the first 6 seconds, so CW with jump scares friends. Src: Cameo

Speaking of clowning...

== Clown/Honk Alert ==

So normally I would leave this in the cast & crew section, but they're part of the honking narrative today so here we go! The very first thing today that triggered some honking was Con O'Neill posting on his IG page the Rotten Tomatoes stats (which btw I know a lot of you have been reviewing-- and it's totally working! Those numbers have gone up from the last time I looked! GREAT JOB!)

Which of course Samba, and Erroll posted in their IG Stories. Then, to add to the excitement, one of our crew-mates @soglamwow on twitter @'d Samba with our latest stats and he RESPONDED.

Annnnnd to continue the clowning, Rhys JUST SO HAPPENED to take a little hiatus from Cameo until March.

Okay so AND THEN, a sweet article from Paste was published today, and in it, Vico Ortiz talks about the SaveOFMD effort! See some of that article below!

These Thems‘ Vico Ortiz and Gretchen Wylder Talk Industry Obstacles to Making Queer Stories

If you've never seen These Thems' Please watch them here on youtube!

Now, this is all pure speculation, but the scuttlebutt around the bronzetub booze cooler is there seems to be a LOT of engagement from multiple cast members across MULTIPLE platforms SPECIFICALLY having to do with the renewal. All of that + Vico having an article published giving shout outs to the crew? AND Rhys deciding to take some time off (which could be because he's cranking out cameos like no tomorrow, or because he found out what Vianton means, we don't know) all together in one day--- FOLLOWING multiple days of BTS and increased engagement on all platforms... it seems like a perfect storm for clowning/honking.

I found this on @mytabsclosed's Twitter after writing this up, so it's definitely the TLDR; version:

I wouldn't be surprised if we get some sort of breadcrumb from Chaos Dad tomorrow, but don't quote me on that. I can clown town and hope though!

== UK Folks! ==

Feb 23 is #PhoneInFriday - Call in to B.B.C. 3 to request Gnossienne No. 5 at 6:30 am G.M.T., and B.B.C. 2 to request The Chain at 4 pm G.M.T. Those outside the U.K. can text or email! Need info on where to call/email, visit: How to Call into BBC

== Save OFMD Events on IG ==

The Save OFMD Crew has been doing a lot of fun engagement events on IG the last couple days! Yesterday was #Wrong Wednesday where folks submitted their incorrect captions for various pictures. Just a couple highlights below!

Today was #TheoryThursday! It's still going on if you're interested in joining! Just comment on their post here!

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Custom OFMD Jackets =

Tonight's new fan spotlight is @investedfandoms on Instagram! They make custom OFMD Jackets -- made to order! Check out these awesome designs!

If this is something you're interested in feel free to hit them up-- they're $200/each or if you provide your own jacket, $175 (which includes shipping). This is their only source of income at the moment so if you'd like one, this would be a great time order one and help out a fellow crew-mate!

= Collages =

More Collages for the month of February from our fabulous crew-mate @ WanderingNomad!

Day 22: #Boyfriends!!

Catch Up: Day 3: Kristian Nairn!

== Chxrlotte New Release! ==

Chxrlotte is a UK artist that gained public attention after the releease of their Good Omens song "Come With Me". She's just released a new song "Message In A Bottle" which is all about Our Flag Means Death! Thank you @libbyroseitm for sending me the deets on this! Please give it a listen! It's really lovely. "Message In A Bottle" On Spotify

== Morale / Love Notes ==

Wow friends. Today was a big one. Lots and lots of trending, lots of cameos, lots of honk honk honking. It was seriously busy. I hope some of the activity has helped raise some spirits! The cast & crew are definitely seeing our efforts and really showing us they are! Remember that when things feel down, they know we're fighting and they're behind us too! Vico's words: "It also makes me hopeful seeing how y’all are mobilizing and are incredibly earnest and passionate about seeing queer content on TV or wherever that may be. It makes me, as a producer, as a writer, as an actor, excited to know that there is a community of folks who are going to support queer content that I make and attach myself to with friends that are also queer creators, and writers, and producers, and actors, because I want to give it to y’all.”  And to end on-- words from Rhys' own mouth today in one of his cameos: "Don't Stop Clowning! Until you get arrested!"

===================

Okay lovelies. It's that time again for me to be annoyingly loving towards you. I hope you're ready! Did you know you're doing an amazing job? Like, a fucking stellar job. Whatever you're struggling with, however you're coping, you're kicking ass! You are still here with us, and I am so fucking grateful for that! I know sometimes it's really hard to give yourself self-love (I am in fact terrible at it), so I just wanna take this moment to let you know I am rooting for you! Everyone on our crew is rooting for you! You are doing your very best, and there's no one in this world who can compare to you and what you're going through. Your struggles are hard, but you are making it through because you are a strong, resilient, powerhouse of a human being! YOU are a force to be reckoned with. YOU are a kind and caring soul who puts so much good into the world. YOU are an inspiration. YOU are mind-blowingly amazeballs (that's the technical term) and you are going to do marvelous things no matter how big or how small they are. I believe in you and so does everyone on your crew, whole-heartedly. When you're ready, go shine lovelies, you deserve to shine.

====================

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd regarding gifs tonight-- The moment I saw it, I knew this was todays Darby Gif, Courtesy of @ofmd-ann, and then of course, found this lovely Taika Gif today courtesy of @agaywithcoffee that seems pretty appropriate.

[solar-wing]

okay, just so you guys know...

I'm still working on Shadowing Nightwing. Just making edits and doing my best to tone down the length because it's well over 40k words and I–... I just can't.

Also, I'm trying to make sure that it's good and spicy enough for what y'all are expecting, but also something that won't get taken down on patreon, tumblr, etc. the literal second it's up—because again, it's spicy. Honestly, what I might end up doing is posting the first part of it, and then doing what I did with 'One Kent Was Enough,' linking the rest of the story to AO3 cause I'm tired of having to jump through hoops and loops with these platforms.

like Patreon is taking forever to "review" and put back one of my stories for "violating" community guidelines. And don't even get me started with Tumblr and their nonsense because I just saw one of my mutuals get his post hidden on here due to "explicit sexual content" that was "outside" of user guidelines.

and the crazy part is, his fic was under 1,500 words and was nowhere near as bad as some of the fem!reader content I've seen on here. Like I know I keep ranting about this (and I'll damn sure continue to), but I'm so sick of the bias against m!reader content, especially when it's explicit.

We already get a bunch of fem readers getting mad at us for not wanting to write content that includes them even when we explicitly state that we are m!reader authors and only write for male or gen!neutral readers. Then, the content we do write for our audience always ends up getting flagged or taken down for being outside of user guidelines, when it's barely anything bad.

Like the amount of abduction, non-con/CNC that could be considered borderline grape without the g, coercion, manipulation, Stockholm Syndrome, YANDERE, etc. f!reader fics I've read on this platform and others that have no warnings, flags, or shadowbans from what I can tell is truly something ridiculous. Matter of fact, they'll literally have the most likes, reblogs, and engagement I've ever seen. But, our male reader fics get flagged for using the word bussy instead of pussy...I'm not even joking.

but, I digress.

ANYWAY, with all that being said, once Shadowing Nightwing is posted, I'm gonna take a break away from smut and Omegaverse fics for a minute only because trying to do that specific stuff has started to feel more like a job than something I enjoy and have fun with, and I don't want to burn myself out or give y'all content that I'm not proud of or feel like it's half-assed.

Plus, I'll be honest, this past week has been really hard mentally, emotionally, and creatively for me given the results of this election, I can't even say I'm surprised, but I can damn well say I'm pissed off. Like, I can barely write without sitting there thinking about the fact that this orange peel of a FELON AND THUG—yeah I said it for you sibling and cousin fucking, buck-tooth, bobblehead, ding-dong, dropped ON your heads, mindless little minions—ahem—I mean, conservatives (if conservative means conversing brain cells that is) and his adult sid phillips looking ass v.p. cheated like someone trapped in a room with all their favorite foods while being on a diet, or more than half this country is really that stupid.

keep in mind, we're talking about a country with a lacking education system paired with a population of *checks note* sibling and cousin fucking, buck-tooth, bobblehead, DING-DONG, SLAMMED on their heads, mindless little minion bitches—AHEM—conservatives so that last part really wouldn't be surprising.

but again, I digress.

Shadowing Nightwing will be out soon, and we'll be returning to some PG-13 content for some time until I can wrap my head around this—or find the cheapest and quickest flight to Saturn—whichever comes first.

anyways, pls stay safe out there guys in these next four years, especially my minorities out there WHO VOTED FOR KAMALA AND TIM. If you voted third-party, didn't vote, or voted for the felon and adult sid phillips, I PRAY you get everything you voted for 😉. no seriously, I'm really rooting for you 😊

MWAH 😘 kisses, bitches 💛

to the rest of my lovelies, I love you all, stay safe and shine bright, and I'll be here soon with Shadowing Nightwing (that is if I haven't found a direct flight to Saturn first...fingers crossed🤞🏽)

[playedcrowd5610]

Take Flight - Transformers x Danny Phantom

Summary: Danny takes Starscream for a flight to help blow off some steam. And maybe there is more to Danny than meets the eye.

---

Notes

Set in a series where Danny finds Starscream one day and decides to start haunting the Decepticons. That's basically all the context you need but if you want more here is the rest of the series:

Haunting the Nemesis

Part 1: Chasing Stars

Part 2: Burning Rubber

Part 3: Adventures of the Decepticons' Pet Ghost Or Tumblr Master List

---

Danny was sitting on a shelf in Starscream’s room which had been repurposed over the last couple weeks to function as Danny’s personal space. It took up a small corner of the Con’s quarters and was out of the way enough that Starscream didn’t almost trip over Danny every time he paced his little circles around the room.

Danny’s eyes tracked the seeker as he went back and forth, clinking on the metal flooring with every step. Tension seemed to cling to Starscream’s frame, almost enough that Danny could sense it through his repressed EM field. His wings twitching in irritation, he muttered to himself as he reviewed reports. 

Danny sighed and pushed himself out of the old ratty beanbag he was sitting in – one of the only items to his name at this moment – and walked over to the edge of the shelf, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “You know, for someone who likes to rant about how he should be in charge, you don’t look like you’re enjoying the whole ‘second-in-command’ thing.”

Starscream paused mid-step, his optics narrowing as he glanced over at Danny. "It's none of your concern. And I have far more important things to worry about than engaging in idle chatter," He waved his servo dismisivly in Danny’s direction. “Do you not have your own data pads to read over? Or better yet, a place to go, down on Earth, where you can leave me to do my job in peace?”  

Danny rolled his eyes and straightened up. "Yeah, I get it, you're the big, bad Decepticon who doesn't need a break, right?" He waved his hand dismissively . "But seriously, Screamy, you’ve been pacing like a caged tiger for hours. What’s the deal?"

Starscream bristled at first but after a moment his wings drooped, his frame tense but less defensive.

"Let’s just say… the weight of leadership can be taxing."

Danny swayed back and forth on his feet. "Right. ‘Taxing .’ You mean exhausting." He paused. "Look, how about you blow off some steam? Let’s go for a flight – it can do wonders to clear your head." That was when Danny felt most relaxed anyway. He was sure it was similar for Starscream since he knew how much the mech loved to fly, especially with how antsy and stressed he was when his wings had been crushed and he couldn’t get out of the medbay for days.

Starscream blinked, clearly surprised by the suggestion. “A flight? With you?"

Danny shrugged, grinning. "Why not? You get some air, I get some fun. Everybody wins. C’mon, when’s the last time you did something just to enjoy it?"

Starscream’s optics flitted between his datapad and then Danny and back again. After a long pause, the Seeker sighed.

“ Very well, but only for a little while. Soundwave will have my helm on a platter if I don’t finish these before the next solar cycle." 

Danny laughed and pumped a fist in the air. “I've always wanted to fly in a jet.” 

Starscream picked him up and tossed him haphazardly into his subspace before heading towards the door. “Don’t think this will be a regular thing. You are lucky I need to stretch my wings often or I’ll lock up.” The voice reverberated around Danny, who just smiled to himself in response.

-

The human lounged in Starscream's cockpit, arms crossed behind his head like he was sunbathing on a beach, not soaring thousands of feet in the air. Danny looked up at the bright blue mid-day sky and the white stretches of cloud that floated by. As much as Starscream hated to admit that the human was right, he could feel the tension leaving his frame every moment they were in the sky. This was his element. 

Danny laughed to himself and Starscream redirected his attention back to him. “You know, for a Decepticon who brags about being aerodynamic, I expected the ride to be smoother.” Danny taunted.

Starscream's engines rumbled in protest as if offended by the jab. “If you're so concerned about turbulence, perhaps you'd prefer to walk next time," he responded.

Danny grinned, glancing down towards Starscream’s instruments, “You know, I thought you would be faster than this.” The human then yawned! Yawned ! Starscream felt slightly foolish taking the very much obvious bait. But who was he to deny the human his true speed? 

Danny must have sensed his field shift at the rising challenge because the human smirked to himself right before Starscream dived out of the clouds. Danny jumped at the sudden drop, likely expecting Starscream to fly forward rather than down. The human’s eyes widened as he fully sat up.

Starscream smirked to himself at being able to surprise the human for one of the first times since they met. Once they were only a little ways above crashing into a mountain, Starscream changed trajectory and shot back up to the sky, spinning as he did so. He went up as high as his sensors said he could safely go without damage and dived back down before evening out. “How’s that for flying?” Starscream asked, voice full of pride.

The human laughed and smiled brightly at the excitement, “That was great!” He tapped the side of Starscream’s canopy. “How about I show you some of my own tricks?” Starscream didn’t get the chance to voice his confusion before the human suddenly flickered out of the visible spectrum and fell through his seat, out through the bottom of the cockpit. 

Starscream’s systems froze. He knew the human could phase (how else could he have gotten them out of that rubble all those weeks ago?) but he had to be a moron to just fall out into the open sky! He was going to die! Did the human want Starscream to catch him? Starscream scanned the area and was about to dive straight down when suddenly, laughter met his audials from next to him.

Danny suddenly floated up next to Starscream’s wing, fits of giggles escaping the human's mouth, completely unconcerned by the spark attack Starscream was just given thinking the human had just killed himself for no reason. How was he supposed to know the kid could fly?

“I’m okay Screamy, don’t panic.” The kid flew out in front of him and knocked on his windshield. Starscream was still moving, albeit not as fast, but Danny was able to keep up with him while flying backwards . The human tilted his head to the side with a smile.

“I didn’t panic. I was simply looking for where you went.” Starscream said indignantly, he then paused. “I didn’t know you could fly.”

Danny smiled lightly. “Sorry, there are a lot of things I don’t tell a lot of people. Most people can’t do the things I do, and if they find out about it I can be in danger.” Danny sighed and flew back slightly to sit on the edge of Starscream’s wing, kicking his feet in the wind, arms supporting him as he leaned back, closing his eyes. 

The human should be flung off into the open sky being out there. And Starscream should also definitely be feeling dragged enough to throw him off course, but he didn’t feel anything . Strangely enough, he could also hear the human clearly, even with the wind. 

“What kind of danger?” Starscream found himself asking. The human didn’t seem to be afraid of anything on the Nemesis, whether that be looking into the barrel of a blaster or egging Knockout on to try and cut his head off with a buzz saw. This was the strangest human Starscream had ever come across. But what could put him in danger, Starscream needed to know. Not because he cared or anything, but because he needed to discover what was scarier to this human than the Decepticons. 

Danny laughed dryly. “You may be able to tell that I’m not very normal.” He then stood up and started walking along Starscream’s wingspan like a balance beam. Starscream bristled as the boots stepped across a spot he knew he couldn’t reach to clean if the human got dirt there. But he decided not to comment, as he was curious enough to disregard this infraction for the time being.

“Yes, very much. Your lack of self-preservation is astounding,” Starscream muttered, and he would have rolled his optics if he could. 

Danny laughed again as he held his arms out to keep balance. “Lots of humans don’t like things that aren’t normal. They want everything to be like them. And when they come across someone who isn’t... Well, it doesn’t end well.”

Starscream was puzzled. Why wouldn't the human just come out with it already? It was like he was dancing around the subject and Starscream needed to get answers. “What do you mean?”

The kid sighed and ran a hand through his white hair. “I can get hurt or experimented on, Starscream. Other humans will hunt me down for what I am. Even though I… Used to be one just like them.” Starscream could sense the kid's EM field getting more bitter and upset. “They don’t care though. They think I’m a danger to them and should be extinguished along with anyone else like me – which is why I made it my mission to help protect others like me and get them somewhere safe before they get hunted down.” 

The human walked up Starscream’s dorsal strut and laid down flat on him, the back of his head leaning on the glass of his cockpit. Starscream stayed silent for a long moment. And Danny didn’t speak up again, staring at the sky. “Why did you show me your abilities then? Back in the cave-in, and now, as far as I know, you have only ever shown them to me and no one else on the Nemesis.” Starscream questioned.

“Because I trust you, Starscream.” Danny pat his hand against the metal plating under him. Starscream’s processor stalled, and he would have dropped out of the sky if his coding hadn’t kept him in flight. In all of the Con’s life, even before the war started, he had never been told he was trustworthy. His classmates back at the academy disliked him immensely and stayed away from him, and even his trine believed him to be untruthful at times… Which he was. Back on the Nemesis, everyone treated everyone with distrust and disdain. But this human trusts him? 

“You know…” Danny started, grabbing Starscream’s attention again. “I think I can fly faster than you.” 

Starscream made an affronted noise. “ Please , I’m the lead air commander of the Decepticon army and the fastest mech you will find on the Nemesis. You wouldn’t be able to beat me.” 

Starscream felt a flicker of amusement cross Danny’s field. “Let's race then, come on! The last one to cross that tree line past that river over there wins.” 

“You're on.”

---

Art

Haunting the Nemesis

[desertdollranch]

Opening and reviewing my first Australian Girl doll

She spent more than a month in a box, making her way halfway across the world to her new home, and now here she is! I'm so relieved that she arrived safely. It was the longest I've ever had to wait for a doll, and through much of her journey I didn't know where she was or when she would be here.

I don't want to drop too big of a spoiler, but listen to this........ she was so worth the wait, and the money. This doll instantly won my heart with how exquisite she is in every way.

Australian Girl dolls were specially made for Australian children, by Helen Schofield, a grandmother who loved dolls. She created the brand when she couldn't find an age appropriate doll that was locally available or good quality. So she created these dolls to help children feel pride in Australian culture, while teaching them about friendship and empathy. There are five girls to befriend--Amy, Jasmine, Emily, Bronte, and Matilda, each representing a different region of the country, ethnicity, and lifestyle.

The company itself has quite high standards. They strive to reduce waste in their product packaging, and they use a factory in China that treats its workers humanely and does not use child labor.

If you've been around my blog for a while, you know how much I love collecting diverse brands and types of play dolls, especially international dolls. Also, this one will be extra special because I actually have an Australian grandmother--she's also a doll collector, and I'm looking forward to showing her my new doll the next time I see her.

After the cut, I'll show you who she is, and talk about why I chose her. I'll compare her with similar-sized dolls as well, and have her do some dressing up.

Before we get to the unboxing, let's check out the little goodies included with my doll.

First is a little pamphlet explaining why the dolls are special, but also represent real girls growing up in Australia.

There's another pamphlet about how to care for your doll.

All of the dolls come with a fun freebie: this cute pair of thongs.

Another freebie (a $30 AUD value) is this very sturdy doll carrier with pockets for accessories.

I also bought a pair of sneakers for my new girl. I figured her feet would be a bit larger than my other dolls, and these are cute, so she now has three pairs of shoes to wear.

Anyway. Enough of the small stuff. Let's let her out of the box.

It's Amy from Adelaide!

I chose Amy after three entire years of being indecisive and going back and forth on exactly which Australian Girl I wanted. They're all equally adorable, so I picked Amy because her personality seems very sweet, and I love that she has mixed heritage. According to the Austrlaian Girl dolls website, Amy's family tree is a mix of Aboriginal and Dutch on her mother's side, and English and Indian/Fijian on her father's side. Very representative of modern Australia!

I have no regrets. She is perfect!!! Just the most charming little angel. I am officially WOWED.

I'm seriously impressed at the superior quality of her construction. I understand why she was priced a bit higher than similar dolls. She is, from head to toe, beautifully made, with so many sweet details. Her dress and shoes are also impeccably made and feel very durable.

Her hair is flawless. It's a Kanekalon wig with loose curls, in a gorgeous shade of brown. Her eyes open and close. She has both painted and attached eyelashes.

She has a gap between her big toe and the next toe, so she can wear her sandals and thongs.

Her elbows are dimpled and she has subtle blush color on parts of her skin, including elbows and hands.

She has a crease across her palm.

She has articulation at her shoulders, hips, and neck. Her limbs, head, and shoulders are vinyl, and she has a huggable soft tummy. I don't really have a strong preference for either cloth torsos, vinyl torsos, or half and half like Amy. They all have pros and cons. This specific construction is nice in that she can wear low-neckline clothes without showing a cloth body, but it does make her harder to repair in case she has to be fixed.

I have a pretty good idea of what she'll be wearing when she's ready to change out of her pink party dress.

The first photo shows her in a dress I made. The second is a Maplelea dress and hat. The rest are all American Girl brand clothing, except for the shoes. Amy can comfortably wear most stretchy clothes by AG and similar brands like Our Generation, but her feet absolutely will not fit AG, OG, or Maplelea shoes.

The exception to the clothes is some of the tighter pieces. This AG shirt did not fit well. Amy's shoulders are a bit more broad than smaller dolls, and so without some extra give this is too tight.

Amy is 20 inches/51 centimeters tall. Here she is next to my Our Generation doll Jordana. I'm using an OG doll because they're actually available locally in Australia. Whereas American Girl dolls, which I usually use when I compare brands, have to make an overseas journey. So it's only fair that I consider any Australians reading this now who are wondering how Amy compares.

Amy is tall, but not the tallest doll in the family! Here she is next to Fernanda, my Karito Kids doll, who is about an inch taller although slimmer. Karito Kids dolls are in fact just slightly skinnier than American Girl dolls, so they have a much easier time sharing clothes.

In conclusion, I highly highly recommend this doll. She's absolutely sublime! I'm so thrilled to have her here, and I'm looking forward to having lots of adventures with her.

Obviously I'm far from Australia, but my Amy will still live her life as if she were in a suburb outside of the city of Adelaide. I've been looking at pictures of the geography of the state of South Australia, and there are some places in the mountainous parts that look pretty similar to the desert southwest where I live. So Amy will have no idea she's actually in the USA. Don't tell her the truth!

[whygalaxy]

hey!! do you plan on writing a part 2 to the benito fic?? i loved it and i love your writing!! ❤️‍🩹

Strange Doctor Appointment - Pt.2

♡⃕ Relationship} Benito Camelo x Innocent!Fem!Reader

♡⃕ {Part.One; Here}

♡⃕ Summary} "Another appointment with your favorite doctor… What could go wrong?"

♡⃕ TW.} Dub-con; Corruption Kink; Innocent Kink; Manipulation; Use of authority; Oral sex; Use of the profession for manipulation; A little of Breeding kink; Mention of previous sex; Mention of protected sex; Benito being possessive.

♡⃕ Notes} English is not my first language, there may be mistakes. I'm sorry for anything. Not reviewed

It had been a month since the last appointment you had with Benito.

He missed you so much, you were so addictive! Although he didn't really like having to use a condom, he didn't want to take any risks.

But now he didn't care, he wanted to feel you, fill you with his cum and make you really full!

────────⊹⊱💊⊰⊹────────

“H-Hello Benito…” You stutter. You were still the same adorable and shy little thing you always were, that was why he loved you so much.

“Well, hello honey, how are you?” He responds with a smile, watching you walk over to his desk, sitting in the chair across from him, completely blushing.

“I-I feel… stra-strange… after our last con-consultation…” You stutter, unable to maintain eye contact, you turned red like a tomato when you spoke. Was that why you were so shy? How lovely…

“Well, I need to see if you are still healthy, lie down on the stretcher and open your legs please.” He says, with a smile. You do as he says, already feeling familiar with the situation.

He walks over to you, lifting up the cute dress you were wearing. He notices a wet spot on your white panties with pink dots, he runs his thumb over the wet spot, making you jump a little in surprise. You were really turning into a little whore.

He takes off your panties, admiring your lovely pussy. He wanted to prove you so much…

He reaches down, giving your wet hole a lick. You jump in surprise, feeling strange at the new sensation. “B-Benito…” You moan.

You simply tasted sweet and addictive, he ate you up like a starving man. He sucked and stuck his tongue inside her tiny hole. You trembled with every movement of his tongue, you were so sensitive to his touch.

It doesn't take long for you to cum, drenching his entire face with your juices. He licks up every last drop, pulling away once he's finished, licking his lips. He watches your face, you were panting and blushed, looking at him with tears in your eyes.

“You look fine, but I need to do one last exam to finish.” He says, starting to unbuckle his belt and pulls his pants and underwear down. His hard cock popping out, precum oozing out of the tip. He masturbates, spreading the precum all over his cock to act as lubricant.

He positions himself in front of your tight entrance, taking a deep breath before entering. He moans loudly as he feels you for the first time. You were warm and tight… Almost like a hug.

You moaned softly, feeling a little familiar with the sensation but still feeling strange. He started with slow thrusts, getting used to the feeling of your warm walls squeezing him. But soon his thrusts began to get fast and deep, holding your hips tightly.

You moaned and trembled with each thrust, still feeling extremely sensitive from your previous orgasm. He hit your uterus with each thrust, wanting to thrust as deep as possible to fill your tiny uterus with his cum.

It doesn't take long for you to cum again. “Benito!” You scream, your legs shaking as you came, squeezing him to the extreme. As much as he usually lasted a long time, he couldn't hold back any longer, your warm walls squeezed him so well!

"Little one!" He screams, filling your womb with his hot cum. You shiver, take a deep breath, never feeling as full as you do now.

He brushes a few strands of hair off your sweaty forehead, you were blushing like a tomato. He smiled.

“You're healthy, little one… But I need you to come back for more exams.”

He says with a soft smile. He hoped that after that, he would get you pregnant… That way you would belong to him forever.

<3

[guusagi]

MCR Fanfic Rec/Review List!

tl/dr: This is an MCR slash fiction recommendation list with various ratings, multiple ships, AUs and sections; not only with summaries but also my non-spoilery thoughts. I'm going to be yapping a lot in this one. MINORS DNI (as in i cant stop you from reading these but no comments plz🙏) Section 1: Danger Days / Fabulous Killjoys Section 2: The Infamous Fics (for example: Unholyverse) Section 3: Desolation Row Section 4: Various MCR AUs Pairings listed: Frank/Gerard; Fun Ghoul/Party Poison; Jet Star/Party Poison; Jet Star/Party Poison/Fun Ghoul; Frank/Mikey; Pete/Patrick (from FOB)

Welcome and be warned (or enjoy), this is a pretty long and wordy list! I've been actively reading mcr fics for about a month and a half now, so I felt compelled to do something with all this energy. The idea for this blog post came to me because I had to share my newfound knowledge!!

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/guusagi/766055506866569216/mcr-fanfic-recreview-list-2

If you can't stand RPF (real person fiction), feel free to just browse the Danger Days section, as I personally think it's disconnected enough from the band to be enjoyable. I was uncomfortable with rpf at first but I ended up loving these fics so much I stopped caring lol! I will still mention how much real life is involved in each fic so there are more options with different levels of comfort for you.

The most common ship on this list will be Frerard, because not only it's the easiest to find, but also cus a lot of amazing fics are written about these two! I also included some Frikey, cus it's underrated in my eyes and so good! I also found some Rayrard and poly ships yay!

I will start with some Danger Days fics cus that's how I started reading MCR fandom fics, and I LOVE the setting of this album and the Killjoys comic series! Party Poison/Fun Ghoul is the main ship, but you’ll also find Party Poison/Jet Star! There's also a poly ship (Party Poison/Fun Ghoul/Jet Star).

I decided to also yap about the most infamous fics in the fandom, like Unholyverse and A Splitting of the Mind (plus a 3rd one). I was skeptical at first, but what a ride it was reading these fics!

I also included a few Desolation Row AUs cus there's not tons but I ADORE the music video and it makes for an interesting punk/rebellion theme.

And finally, I’ll highlight some other general AUs, as well as a few MCR as a band fics for those who enjoy rpf in particular. This is my longest section.

Please feel free to explore the full tags on AO3, as some fics might have stuff that's triggering to some. If you want to avoid smut I will specifically mention if there is any, sometimes we just want cute fluff! I also will mention if there's something iffy like an age gap, or non-con, I personally do not go out of my way to read either, but there are 2 fics on this list that include those.

Also I love longfics so this is gonna have a lot of stories with around or over 100k words.

The structure of each fic rec is as follows:

-Name of the fic, and the author. -Rating and if the fic includes smut. -The main pairing, as well as sub pairings if relevant to the story, also what type of AU it is. -Main POV, who’s the main character of the story! -Are the characters MCR? If the fic is written with mychem as a band similar to real life (also if it follows their trajectory in life, like their wives and kids, or if it’s an AU where those relationships don’t happen), or if they use the same irl names but are not in a band like an AU. In the case of the killjoys, if their ‘city names’ are the same as mcr or not. -Status is if they are completed fics, works in progress, or abandoned/on hiatus. I also added amount of chapters and word count, and if it's a oneshot or otherwise. -Links will send you directly to the fic on AO3, if it’s a collection of stories I link that instead. -My summaries are just what I personally thought was the main plot of the story. -Personal thoughts are my observations on the fic, how much I enjoyed it, what I found unique about this story, and my feelings overall. I also will specifically mention if the fic has a happy or angsty ending, for those who either enjoy or don’t enjoy sad endings. I love happy endings but I did give some sad endings a try, even if I don't go out of my way looking for them.

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Section 1: Danger Days AUs

This is how I got started with MCR fanfiction. I wanted to read fics about mcr and was uncomfortable with rpf at first (like I mentioned before, I got over the discomfort cus I ended up loving the non-DD fics as well). Danger Days is a super fun universe, and I really enjoy the idea of the Killjoys. I hope I picked a good variety of options!

Don't Need the System by LiberXI

Rating: Explicit (smut in final chapter) Pairing: Frerard - Party Poison/Fun Ghoul Main POV: Fun Ghoul Are the characters MCR?: No, but they use the same irl names. Status: Completed, total of 25 chapters and 144k words Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55799308 My Summary: This is a Party Poison origin story! Fun Ghoul gets captured by Bl/ind to reintegrate him into Battery City's society. Little does he know, the supervisor he's been assigned to is none other than Gerard, the face of Bl/ind's Propaganda! Gerard doesn't really know how human interaction works and shenanigans ensue. Personal Thoughts: This is actually quite the unique spin on the danger days formula compared to most I've read, where Party Poison is not yet themself but being an active part of the System! Gerard uses he/him pronouns throughout half of the fic, then they switch to they/them. Korse is sort of their guardian and grants them privileges most don't get. For example having a lot of luxuries, as well as being off pills. They are still mostly controlled and very naive about the world. Most of the fic takes place within Gerard's apartment, as Fun Ghoul is not allowed to leave. The writing is super compelling and you can't help but read the next chapter as soon as you finish the previous one! The relationship between Gee and Ghoul starts off on the wrong foot but it's honestly super cute after that. I'm still actively reading this one, so once this story is complete I’ll attach an updated review.

Edit 10/23/24: So the fanfic JUST ended! I read the final chapter today and man, yep, there was smut alright! There's only smut in the final chapter, so you're safe if you want to avoid those types of scenes (also I want to warn that there is usage of the f-slur in one portion of the final chapter, but it's used with consent). My thoughts on the story have not changed, I still love it to bits!! I'm sad that it's already over but that's life for you haha, all things come to an end. If you are iffy about reading WIP fics, now you can totally read this one start to finish!

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I Believe We're the Enemy by Test_subject_306

Rating: Mature (no smut) Pairing: Party Poison/Fun Ghoul Main POV: Fun Ghoul Are they MCR?: No, only Frank is mentioned by his real name. Status: Completed, 39 chapters and 104k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8097178 My Summary: Party Poison gets captured by Korse, and is presumed dead by Fun Ghoul and the others. However, Party returns in an altered state, completely brainwashed. It's up to Ghoul and the others to get the old Party back... will they succeed? Personal Thoughts: Good god, this one was a wild ride! I actually had to take breaks to read a softer/less angsty fic between chapters, cus man this story HURT. Party Poison is brainwashed as all hell, and pretty nasty with the others... A fair warning, I think it's important to mention that this does NOT have a happy ending, but man the ride was so worth it! It's sort of an open-ended conclusion. If you read A Splitting of the Mind, that's how I'd describe the ending's structure.

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Graffiti On Your Grave by Honestmouse (Part 1 of "Sing It Out")

Rating: Teens and Up (implied scenes but no smut.) Pairings: Party Poison/Fun Ghoul & Jet Star/Kobra Kid Main POV: Various! Are they MCR?: No, they use unique names. Status: WIP; 3 out of 4 parts have been completed so far, with a 4th one in the works. As of 09/16/2024 there has been a collective total of 64 chapters and 269k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909105 My Summary: Post-SING music video, our Killjoys are near death when they get rescued by an underground resistance in Battery City. This story takes place after The Girl is safely secured. They navigate their new home, and meet many new people, most notably The Youngbloods. Personal Thoughts: The world-building in this one was awesome! A new place to navigate, a lot of characters to meet, and overall a compelling story! I was pleasantly surprised that our killjoys had their own original names and not just the usual MCR band member's names. This really helped with keeping the immersion, especially if you enjoy Danger Days fanfics cus of the ease of separation. This is also only part 1 of a series called Sing It Out, and I'm not done with reading the others yet!

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Tongue Tied, In Distress by tired_stressed

Rating: Not Rated (there's only implied sexual content, aka ‘fades to black b4 they bang’ kinda deal, so I’d personally say teens and up) Pairing: Fun Ghoul/Party Poison/Jet Star (yep, it’s poly over here!) Main POV: Fun Ghoul Are they MCR?: No, and only their killjoy names are used. Status: Unfinished with no updates since 2023, 31 chapters and 152k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41650503 My Summary: Fun Ghoul and Jet Star reconnect after losing each other as kids. Ghoul also HATES those from Battery City, which is ironic because it was thanks to Party Poison and Kobra Kid that he gets to see Jet again. Ghoul has to reluctantly accept a deal between them, and they somehow end up teaming up for longer than he expected. Personal Thoughts: Despite this being an unfinished/maybe abandoned story, I still wanted to recommend it! I honestly really enjoyed the writing, and how much Ghoul HATED Poison's guts at first. This is sort of an enemies to lovers trope for Ghoul and Party, while being a childhood friends to lovers trope for Ghoul and Jet. Also not to mention how it's the only poly relationship I found and read from the fandom so far. I can't delve deeper into it without spoiling so that's all! Plz read it!!

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doesn't have to all be destruction by spelling bee

Rating: Mature (implied sexual content, no smut) Pairing: Party Poison/Jet Star & pre-established Kobra Kid/Fun Ghoul Main POV: Jet Star  (for once, poor Ray is never the main character) Are they MCR?: No, they use unique city names. Status: Completed, 26 chapters and 156k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17909432 My Summary: In this universe, people can manifest superpowers! Bl/ind wants to find them all and train them to work for the government, but Poison and Kobra manage to escape without their powers being revealed. Fun Ghoul has been abandoned in the desert since he was young, and Jet Star is an agent for Bl/ind, although reluctantly. Poison, Kobra and Ghoul team up as teenagers, and when Poison gets captured for conversion, Jet Star helps them escape, and decides to join them. It's up to Jet to figure out how to live in the desert, and perhaps become a killjoy himself. He also needs to learn how to control his strange superpower... Personal Thoughts: This fic was recommended to me by a fellow mcrmy friend! I really enjoyed the plot, not to mention the fact that it has some rareships imo! It’s so refreshing to have the protagonist be Jet Star/Ray for a change! Party Poison/Jet Star is really not explored very often, and what a shame cus with Poison's sass and energy, and Jet's kindness and..grounded..ness, it makes for a nice dynamic where they compliment each other very well! Fun Ghoul/Kobra Kid is already an established relationship, which is a nice change of pace, though I sort of felt disappointed that we only got a bit of backstory on how they got together cus, they're so stinkin cute (and later I came to learn that I just love frikey..)! Also the sexual content is only implied, so you're safe if you don't want to read smut.

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Overall Thoughts on this Section:

And that wraps up my Danger Days AUs, there are MORE I've read/completed, but I wanted to highlight the ones I thought were either unique, and/or have very decent writing. Danger Days and the Killjoys make for an excellent background for fiction, and many people have created self-inserts and OCs. There's probably plenty of original killjoy character fics that I haven't found yet.

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Section 2: THE BIG THREE!

I wanted this next section to focus on three very (in)famous fanfics from the MCR fandom. I started reading Unholyverse sorta ironically, expecting a My Immortal moment, but I was super pleasantly surprised! After finishing that series, I decided to read the other two and man I'm glad I did. So yeah, whatever I say here may be nothing new but I wanted to share my thoughts on them!

So, without further ado..!

Unholyverse by Bexless

Rating: Mature (lotsa blood, especially in Part 1, there's eventual smut at part 3 i think? i forgor...) Pairing: Frerard - Priest!Gerard/Body Piercer!Frank (with sub-pairing Mikey/Ray) Main POV: Frank Are they MCR?: No, they use MCR's irl names but this is an AU with no relation to the band. Status: Completed, 5 parts total and 186k words. Link: Republished on AO3 by bexless, separated by the main parts (full collection: https://archiveofourown.org/series/9795) My Summary: Frank works in a tattoo shop as a body piercer, training under Bob (Bryar) to become a tattoo artist. Mikey works as their receptionist, and Brian is the owner of the shop. Ray is sort of a hair stylist and makes herbal concoctions I guess?? Frank's world turns upside down, when he gets himself a mysterious tattoo one night from a stranger that is itching him badly...suddenly he's bleeding all over?? He also meets Gerard, Mikey's brother, who's hot and also a priest, oops! I guess they also have to travel together and vanquish demons as a team?! (If you know of the movie Stigmata, this is basically the plot of that movie apparently? I didn't watch it myself) Personal Thoughts: I have a lot to say about this one. Due to the nature of Gerard's job as a priest, this story has MANY discussions about religion, specifically Catholicism. If you aren't comfortable with that, I understand if you skip. My personal relationship with religion is that my family is Catholic, but my parents are non-practicing so the most we've done was attend Church for weddings and Easter? I also went through Communion. I personally do not identify with the Catholic faith, but I still managed to enjoy this fic a lot and was glad I gave it a chance. It's really hard to find where to begin with this one, cus honestly... this was one of the best fanfictions I have ever read, period! Which is shocking to me cus when there's a famous fic in a fandom, it's usually because it's like, My Immortal or something (aka so bad it's good). Rarely have I seen popular fics with genuinely high quality writing. This could also be cus I do not interact with fandoms much and have always kept my distance? The writing was genuinely clever and quick-witted, as well as super compelling. I'm a fairly calm reader and don’t often react out loud to things I read, but I found myself cry-laughing at many parts of Unholyverse. Maybe it's cus it took itself a little bit more seriously due to the era it was written in, and it could be seen as cheesy by today's standards. I also just think the writer is very good at writing funny dialogue, maybe it wasn’t taking itself that seriously after all (idk im neurodivergent lmao). The characters feel so believable, and I found myself seeing them as completely original characters pretty quickly. The relationship between Frank and Gerard is SO slowburn it hurts, but it hurts so good! The tension and pining is crazy, and I wish I could say more but I don't want to spoil!! I want to revisit this fic again soon, in fact I'm itching to re-read it now! This story is so good I wish for it to be published one day with changed names to make it original. Also, Fall Out Boy is in this fic LOL!

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A Splitting of the Mind by Shoved2agree

Rating: Explicit (smut mostly at the end, this is a mental institution AU so fair warning) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Gerard Are they MCR?: No, they use their irl names but no relation to the band. Status: Completed, 21 chapters and 144k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535958 My Summary: We follow Gerard, a mental institution patient, who believes he's the only normal one there. Gerard believes there is a group of people who want to kill him, so he has selective mutism to keep “them” from finding him. There he meets Frank, a new addition to the ward, and instantly feels a connection with him he's never felt with another person before. The story is very psychological so be warned. It's not a fluffy story at all, and doesn't have a happy ending, but it's at the very least a hopeful one! Personal Thoughts: What isn't there to say about this one..? It's also in my top list of fanfiction in general. It's a truly well-written story, you think you start to understand how Gerard's mind works, and then you don't. It's not a spoiler to say that he suffers from Schizophrenia, he's just completely unaware of it, or in denial it's hard to say. The way his inner thoughts are described are very compelling, I personally do not know anyone who suffers from this condition, nor do I know much about how it works, so I will not judge which part of the portrayal was good or bad, but at the very least it didn't seem offensive and it seemed to be respectful. I actually got super immersed in his thought process and I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't at times, just like him. I can at least say that it didn't feel like it was glorified at all. Frank's reason for his admission to the institution is also super heartbreaking and raw. Overall this story was definitely not a happy one, but I truly enjoyed this fic, the ending was just, god my heart😭... one of the best written scenes in fiction, not even kidding. I highly recommend you read this if you can stomach a sad yet hopeful ending.

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The Anatomy of a Fall by novembersmith

Rating: Explicit (smut near the end of the fic, this is a high school AU and there’s an age gap (kind of, not really, can't say without spoiling) but Gerard is 18 from my understanding.) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Gerard Are they MCR?: No, but they use the same names though. Status: Completed, 12 chapters and 107k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/155168 My summary: Gerard moves to a quiet town in the middle of nowhere with his mom and little brother Mikey. Imagine a sort of Forks in Twilight kind of gloomy and mysterious atmosphere. Gerard goes into the woods one day and meets a strange boy called Frank. He doesn't seem to go to their school despite being his age, or at least, he hasn't bumped into him yet. This boy is super cool but really mysterious, they become close friends quickly and hang out together after school in the forest. There are also a lot of strange acts of violence happening in this town, and Frank wants to find out what is going on in this weird small town. Personal Thoughts: There's a twist that's hinted at super early and kind of obvious, this is a ghost story after all, but it doesn't ruin the experience at all. Gerard takes longer to realize what Frank's deal is than the reader but it's totally the point! This story was another great one from the line-up, and it DOES have a happy ending, yay! I really enjoyed the relationship between Gerard and Frank, the progression felt natural, and the mystery is great and has an excellent payoff methinks. The world building in this one was really good as well, I could totally picture this little town. Also, it comes with ''official'' art!

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Overall thoughts on this section:

I started off reading Unholyverse, assuming it was the most popular fic because it was similar to My Immortal in infamy. However, that could be further from the truth! Without repeating myself too much like in the review, it was super well written and compelling and I fell in love with this story! I also loved the other two I read. If I had to ''rank'' the fics to my personal preferences it would be something like Unholyverse > A Splitting of the Mind = Anatomy of a Fall. If you have been hesitant with reading these famous fics like I was, please give them a chance!  I do have to admit, I deliberately ignored “A Dove Keeper” due to its severe age gap. Let’s pretend there’s just 3 infamous fics ok??

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Section 3: Desolation Row AUs

I wanted to give the AUs based on the Desolation Row cover/music video some love! They are few and far between, which is a shame. This MV altered my brain chemistry not gonna lie, it was one of the best looks for the band imo. These fics are mostly oneshots, but on the lengthier side!

Truth on the Airwaves by stoplightglow

Rating: Mature (implied sexual content, no smut) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Gerard, but it switches out of his POV often. Are they MCR?: Despite it being an AU, i’d say yes. They call themselves My Chemical Romance and sing their songs. Status: Completed, Oneshot with 34k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15704250 My Summary: This is a prequel to the Desolation Row music video, it also includes a ‘what happens after’ epilogue. Gerard is an office worker in a boring job, but the government is censoring the world more and more, they even banned booze and fun apparently! Gerard and company decide it’s time to take matters into their punk rock hands. This is an AU where MCR become a band to protest against censorship and illegally tour to spread hope and rebellion. With the help of a radio host, they spread their illegal music to the masses. They call themselves My Chemical Romance and create the Bullets album and more! Follow their shenanigans and see what happens :D Personal thoughts: This was the first desolation row fic I read, and man was it fun! This fic is transparent about the members being MCR, but it’s still an AU. The writing is super fun, Gerard is confused about how he feels about Frank throughout the fic in the cutest way possible. I love it! I also like the fact that they included what happens after they get arrested in the music video. It’s a happy ending yay!

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Heaven's Not About Your Reputation by impertinence

Rating: Mature (some smut) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Gerard mostly. Are they MCR?: Pretty much yes! Still AU though. Status: Completed, oneshot with 28k words. (this might actually be one of the oldest fics on this list, from 2009) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27280 My Summary: This is a collection of scenes with Gerard and the gang touring with their music, rebelling against the government and overall pissing off the cops. Gerard and Frank got some shit going on, after kissing each other to prove a point on stage, they’re confused about what this all means. Personal Thoughts: Not too much to say about this one, the writing is very good and is the main reason I recommend it. The scenes of their shenanigans are super entertaining too, lots of bickering and banter in this one! It’s quite short (for my standards) but definitely worth a read!

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Overall thoughts on this section:

There aren’t many fics here, as truthfully there isn’t too much to work with in Desolation Row, but the ones that I did read were pretty great! My personal headcanon is that this AU takes place before the apocalypse in Danger Days, as the government is starting to get super involved with people’s freedom of speech but isn’t completely controlling everyone just yet. I wanted to put this section before the other AUs, so that we can give our Desolation Row AUs some extra attention!

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Section 4: Various MCR AUs

Finally, I’ll be highlighting some other MCR AUs that don’t fit in a specific section. I’ll add an extra description for each one; like high school, or college, other jobs, childhood friends, enemies to lovers ect. This is also the section with the most recommendations so buckle in!

I'll start with some "MCR working at a store" AUs!

"that was easy" by metaleaterz aka The Staples Fic

Rating: Explicit (smut included) Pairing: Frerard & background Ray/Mikey Main POV: Frank Are they MCR?: No, they have their own separate paths in life. Status: Completed with 14 chapters and 88k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903483 My Summary: Frank is in college and running out of money fast, Mikey tells him to apply to Staples and work there with him, Ray and Gerard. Brian is their manager too! Frank and Gerard's relationship blossoms from there and shenanigans ensue. This story was based on a tweet Frank posted about working at Staples one time, but just being high and not actually working much LOL. Personal Thoughts: This is actually another very popular fic, and was written in 2020! Most of the popular fics I've read were written before mcr's break up, so it was a pleasant surprise! This story was honestly super funny, the Staples setting is iconic asf, but the romance in this one was also extra cute and it was super satisfying when they finally get together hehe! I highly recommend this one, it also has excellent writing.

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Emotional Brilliance by kopperblaze

Rating: Mature (no smut) Pairing: Frikey (Frank/Mikey) & some poly?Lindsey/Ray/Gerard Main POV: Mikey (for once lmao) Are they MCR?: Nah, but Frank is part of a band and so is Ray. Status: Completed, Oneshot with 20k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/501146 My Summary: Mikey loves working at Lush, he really does. Despite his music career not working out for him, he loves working there with Ray. Unfortunately, Frank, who used to bully Gerard in high school, gets hired to work with them. Mikey hates his guts, but Frank is much more friendly than at school, maybe people do change..? Personal Thoughts: Finally some Frikey! (Hope the ship name is correct lol) No for real, I love frerard like everyone else, but frank/mikey is a close second. I'd like the ship even more if there were MORE FICS about them!! This one was pretty cute, and Mikey's hatred of Frank is super funny to me, because he really doesn't have a reason anymore, does he? Lush is also another funny setting, I can't imagine how they can stand the fruity smell in that store, it's so overpowering I never stepped into it much. This one was short but it felt complete! Anyways please give this one a try we need more frikey appreciation in this house!!!

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We Used To Be Friends by ladyfoxxx

Rating: Explicit (smut included near the climax/end) Pairing: Frikey; bassist!Mikey x School Teacher!Frank Main POV: Frank Are they MCR?: No, Mikey is a bassist for The Used and Frank is a school teacher. Status: Completed, Oneshot with 50k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/458760 My Summary: Frank used to be a part of a band before it split and ultimately ended his music career. Mikey managed to join The Used as their bassist, but Frank had not been contacted by him in years. Frank has since become a high school teacher, and one day Gerard finds a way to make the two reconnect! Mikey invites Frank to join them on their tour around Jersey during Spring Break, and he agrees reluctantly. Follow Frank on his tour as he navigates some old feelings and has a taste of what it's like to tour again. Personal Thoughts: Eeeek this was so cuuute! I usually don't read oneshots because I love me a longfic, but 50k words ain't nothing to sneeze at either. Also this fic made me fall in love with the frikey ship, like seriously it's too cute. I like Mikey's aloofness in fanfics, he's so deadpan in an endearing kind of way. I felt bad for Frank being insecure and it hit me a little too close to home cus he was so relatable haha. This is a fun story with some drama, but it ends happily! Honestly this fic will make you love this ship.

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When We're Both Thirty by Helena_Hathaway

Rating: Explicit (smut near the end) Pairing: Frerard (childhood friends, to enemies to lovers) Main POV: Frank Are They MCR?: Nope! Just the same names and a "if MCR wasn't a band" AU. (Gerard works in art for example) Status: Completed, 30 chapters and 84k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2757812 My summary: Gerard and Frank had been inseparable as little kids, they loved each other before they could put a name to it. They sign a contract saying if they don't get married at 30 years old, they will marry each other! Unfortunately they have a falling out and end up hating each other's guts throughout most of their school life, and lost contact after high school. They are both approaching 30... and their moms try to reconnect them once more. However, both Gerard and Frank still hate each other, so they both agree to help find themselves partners to avoid getting married! Personal Thoughts: This was a super fun story, I also devoured this one. It's like, an enemies to lovers too so one of my fave tropes hohoho! I love how supportive their moms were, so much so that they shipped their kids together! The writing was very solid, and these two are total idiots! I love when ppl write this ship as idiots in love, it's just so obvious they have a thing for each other but are holding old petty grudges. Their attraction towards one another, despite trying their darndest to still hate each other, is highly entertaining. I strongly recommend this one! It’s super sweet, funny and the payoff is so worth it!

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Before the Second Show by CharredLips

Rating: Teens and Up (no smut, this is a fluffy one) Pairing: Frerard (Bullets Era) Main POV: Frank Are they MCR?: Yes, but this is an AU where they don’t meet their irl partners. Status: Completed with 18 chapters and 75k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32276128 My Summary: This story is set during the Bullets era, and as the title suggests, it takes place during the very early days of MCR. Frank is the new addition to their band as they start their first tour, cramped van and all. However, he’s starting to have weird feelings about Gerard and is unsure what to do with them. Gerard is also feeling something but Frank is unaware that it's mutual. These two are complete idiots in love! This story also just follows the typical early 2000s band tour shenanigans; sleepless nights, driving all day and all night, eating junk food, getting wasted and smoking cigs, little to no showers etc. what's not to love?! Personal Thoughts: This is the only “true” rpf story on this list, the only difference is that in this AU Gerard and Frank don’t end up with their irl partners. Also this is a teens and up rated fic so you don’t have to worry about smut, perfect if you like the ship but don’t want to see em bang. I gotta say, this fic was SUPER FUCKING CUTE! Their mutual pining, how obviously they like each other and try to be near each other at every waking (and sleeping) moment, this is just so fun and precious. They’re so dumb, omg! I might be biased towards the idiots in love tag. There’s a lot of secretive intimacy (non-sexual) and hiding to do gay stuff together and man it was fun to read. I do wanna say tho Gerard has pretty bad self-esteem issues, and talks down on himself a lot, and it might hit a bit too close to home for some (like me). This one also has the cutest happy ending ever though!! Another banger!

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Did You Miss Me? 'Cus I Missed You by LiberXI

Rating: Explicit (smut with plot) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Frank Are They MCR?: No, this is a college AU Status: Completed with 3 chapters and 35k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48104839 My Summary: Frank is starting college and is super excited to enjoy the freedom that comes with that. Mikey and Ray go to a college party with Frank, and he bumps into Gerard, who also lives on the same college campus as the others. They used to hang out a lot more back a few years ago, and Frank is super happy to see him again. While chatting it up and having a smoke together, Gerard and Frank realize that they had missed each other much more than they both expected. Personal Thoughts: This is the 2nd fic from LiberXI that I'd like to recommend, but it's also the most explicit I apologize lol. They wrote a lot more fics than I thought and found this little gem after reading the latest chapter of their DD fic (Don't Need The System). This is definitely a self-indulgent fic rec, it's short and sweet, with smut and their relationship is just rly cute and wholesome. So sort of fluffy smut?! IDK I just wanted an excuse to recommend this one here if anyone likes shorter fics, since I put so many long ones on this list lol. I also love this author's writing style a lot.

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The Calypso Initiative by theficisalie

Rating: Explicit ("activities of the alone variety" in some chapters, smut near the end) Pairing: Frerard (small age gap, Frank is 11 and Gerard is 16 when they meet; they don’t hang out much nor pursue each other till they’re both over 21) Main POV: Frank Are They MCR?: Nope this is a superhero/school AU Status: Completed with 20 chapters and 91k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280176 My Summary: A superhero AU, where ppl with "mutations" are heavily monitored. They have to either work for the government or live in the streets as fugitives. Frank is 9 years old when his family abandons him, he is found by heroes-in-training Mikey and Gerard, and joins them in their school/compound which educates young mutants and teaches them to control their powers. Frank and Gerard's relationship becomes distant after Gerard becomes a part of an official hero team, and doesn't seem to have time for him anymore and is constantly ignoring him. Yet Frank still wants to join their team, will he succeed? Personal Thoughts: I was super hooked by this one! It's honestly a great story and the format is super satisfying. We follow Frank's journey from living with a group of other abandoned mutant children in the city, to learning how to control his unique powers at the compound, and growing into an adult who is ready to fight crime with his best friends (Gee, Mikey and Ray). I will say though, there is a bit of an age gap between Frank and Gee, Frank being the younger one. I feel like what the author did was pretty tame compared to other fics like a dove keeper (which is waaay worse like the age gap is 17/40 ew, sorry.) Gee and Frank are friends when they're younger and drift apart in between, interacting barely until Frank's 25-ish? So it doesn't feel predatory at all in my opinion. That's about as much as I'm willing to spoil, feel free to skip if any sort of age gap makes you uncomfortable!

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Marked like a bloodstain by drunkonyou

Rating: Teens and Up (no smut) Pairing: Frerard, with sub-pairing Rikey Main POV: Frank Are They MCR?: Nope, this is a vampire AU. Status: Completed, 12 chapters and 56k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29563299 My summary: This story is set in modern times (aka youtube, tiktok stuff is mentioned.) Frank and Ray work in a record store, and one day a tall pale man named Mikey asks to get hired for their night shift, and mentions having a brother with a chronic illness. He gets hired right away! One night, Frank goes to a haunted mansion, and there was Dracula working there, scaring guests...and he was really hot?! He comes back another night just to ask him out, and it's the start of something new! Personal Thoughts: Gosh this was a cute one too! I don't particularly seek out vampire stories, but this one also had a unique spin! Gerard and Frank's relationship is more angsty fluff, but it's so good!! I don't want to spoil much else, so that's all I've got to say! This is another one that's safe for the no-smut enjoyers.

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I am not the Phoenix that you wanted by GhostintheBathroom & Xygenscenic

Rating: Explicit (the first chapter has smut, then it cools down for most of the fic with smut sprinkled in more sparsely) Pairings: Patrick/Pete from FOB; Frerard and Ray/Mikey Main POVs: Various Are They MCR?: Yes and so is Fall Out Boy. AU story still! Status: Completed with 18 chapters and 98k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1659725 My Summary: SO this one is unique, it’s actually a Fall Out Boy / MCR / Danger Days crossover. FOB’s Patrick and Pete have an unhealthy relationship; Pete is always on and off with his current girlfriend, while also taking Patrick to his bed. One day, they are taken to the future of California in 2019, where they meet the Killjoys of Danger Days! Time-travel, dimension hopping, fighting hot babes who want to kill them. Courtney Love is somehow involved in all of this as well. This fic is a wild ride from start to finish! Personal Thoughts: This fic isn’t a pure MCR fic, if anything it focuses more on FOB’s Pete and Patrick, which is why I put this as my last fic rec. I still added it to my recommendation list cus it’s honestly one of the craziest, most unique plots I’ve seen in a while. I gave this story a chance despite me not being super familiar with FOB, and glad I did. The plot is absurd but somehow still able to keep its focus, the villains and overall premise are hilarious, and the way they tie together MCR and Danger Days is super unique. Give this story a read if you wanna have a great laugh and go through an emotional rollercoaster as well. The amount of times I laughed or gasped at certain reveals, really got me excited to recommend this one. My summary is super vague cus I don’t want to spoil the absurdity of some plot twists and reveals haha.

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Overall thoughts on this section:

This collection of fics were a super entertaining read. I honestly started out being weirded out by rpf fics of the band, but I quickly was able to suspend my disbelief and enjoy these stories as their own separate thing. AUs save the day once more! It might have helped that MCR as people have changed a lot since then, and they feel like a separate entity from their past selves. I also read so many of these that their irl names don't bother me anymore thanks to exposure therapy lmao!

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That concludes my MCR fic list!

Thank you so so much for reading, this took me a few weeks to work on and I'm so happy to finally be free from my shackles! I am still actively reading new mcr fics, probably until I get super sick of them like I did with ffxiv fics a few months prior. For the time being I am going to leave this post as is, and make a part 2 eventually if I have more things to recommend. If you read this whole thing you're a trooper. I'm saved. I'm FREE!!

In conclusion: Thank you to the Danger Days album for starting this all; Frerard is an awesome dynamic for slash fiction; Frikey is so cute and underrated but is growing on AO3 from what I've seen; mildly embarrassed to admit I read mcr smut now; I'm cringe and I'm free; I know I'm having my teenager mcr fan phase at age 28 but I don't care! Anyways, enough yapping. Now I rest, thank you again!

[lucentdreamzzz]

a very appropriately unhinged review of will wood's music (except for icimi)

I rate every will wood song because wtf else do i do with my pathetic life

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con):

10/10-fuck yes we are BOPPING. we are CRIMINALS. we are STARTING OFF STRONG!

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones):

4/10-okay we are kinda bing chilling. it’s okay :P kinda triggers me a lil cuz it reminds me of EDs???

Front Street:

10000/10-YESSSSSSSSSSSS YES YES GOING FERAL INJECT THIS INTO MY FUCKING VEINS!!!!!!

¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic):

4.7/10-it slaps a liiiiittle but not that hard. like it kneads. it kneads not slaps.

White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?):

9/10-it both slaps and i can jumpscare ppl with the surgery line??? fuck yes sign me up!!!

Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine):

2/10-ew too slow. yucky nasty bleh hiss ew hiss

Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D.:

8.5/10-i hold ur M O M in contempt

Red Moon:

10/10-CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED. ME WHEN I WALK THE EQUATOR CHASING THE LIGHT.

Lysergide Daydream:

5/10-mid!!!! muh-muh-muh-MID!!!

The First Step:

9.5/10-MUNCH. OMNOMNOM DINNER NOW. IM JUST A BOOZIN BASTARD,

Jimmy Mushrooms’ Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ:

1/10-this exists???

Chemical Overreaction/Compound Fracture:

10/10-when ur an unhinged girlie in the middle of a yeehaw desert

Everything is a Lot:

3.5/10-deep but the deepness doesnt stop it from being too slow for me

Destroy to Enjoy:

7.5/10-surprisingly good for laundromat ambience and chanting??? we r bodhisattva we r buddha dying waking up ig <3

Self-:

7/10-too good for a 6/10 but not good enough for a 8/10. still slaps tho

2012:

9.5/10-FUCK!!!! (inhales) (iwasanexistentialcriminalsoinnocentlycynicalignorantasfuckbutaproudindividual-)

My mom also likes it :D :D :D

Cotard’s Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca):

8.4/10-starts slow but then GOES UNIMAGINABLY HARD!!!! jumpscare ur friends with it!!!

Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer’s Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus):

8/10-me when i try to replace myself.

The Song With Five Names a.k.a. Soapbox Tao a.k.a. Checkmate, Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government (A.K.A. You Can Never Know):

30/10-WOOO BABEY. OH MAN OH MAN THIS FUCKS SO HARD. IF IT WAS A PERSON I WOULD MAKE BABIES WITH IT-

THE SONAR WEEOW WEEOW WEEEOOOWWWW AT THE BEGINNING THE SUNSHINE IS A GASLIGHT PART EVERYTHING IS JUST HJADFKHNF

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!:

8/10-if i ranked it any lower i would self-crucify <3

Dr. Sunshine Is Dead:

7.8/10-i love the funky little way he sings “i fumble for the switch”. you go buddy.

-ish:

6/10-good close to the album but NOT FUNKY ENOUGH

Suburbia Overture/Greetings From Mary Bell Township!/(Vampire) Culture/Love Me, Normally:

9/10-ITS ONLY CULTUUUUUUREEEEEE!!!! AND IT SLAPS!!!! WILL WOOD COOKED FRFR

2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.):

8.5/10-this actually introduced me to william woodsmith :explode: the nostalgia is def a factor

Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!):

100/10-hehe gender

I/Me/Myself:

7/10-g e n d e r

…well, better than the alternative:

3/10-very sweet but too slow for my megamind

Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples:

9/10-i did not know this existed??? still kind of a bop

BlackBoxWarrior-OKULTRA:

10000/10-THIS SLAPS HARDER THAN AN ASIAN PARENT WHEN YOU BRING HOME A B

Marsha, Thankk You For the Dialectics, But I Need You To Leave:

7.5/10-me at therapy

Love, Me Normally:

2/10-boring ew tomato tomato

Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world:

8.5/10-SHOW TUNE ABT DEATH AND ITS INEVITABILITY YESSSS

Venetian Blind Man:

8/10-THIS IS SO UNDERRATED?????

Your Body, My Temple:

7.5/10-will wood had his whole willussy out. this song is so unapologetically horny

Yes, To Err Is Human, So Don't Be One:

9/10-silly vampire bop!!