#my feet hurt so fucking bad
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I LIVE
On Sunday, I'll probably tell all the fun stories. In the meantime, I once again present pictures
Also this pic I took when I was pretty much high on caffeine, and a pic of AP Psych lesson
#cosplay#doctor strange#doctor strange cosplay#my feet hurt so fucking bad#im going to wear my pronoun pin tomorrow
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Breaking in platform leather boots my beloathed
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My first trans day of visibility where I actualy did something fun and cool
#i fucked off and i was at an arcade with some guys for like 30 min after a sort of 2 hour get together thingy#r0b7#one dude walked me back to my car and i live this man i cherish this man hes so good and nice thank god for this man#my feet hurt so fucking bad
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my wings ache from flying around serving god's people all day :(
(just got off a 10 hour shift in the grocery mines)
I'm gods hardest working little angel (im scheduled to work 7 days in a row in long retail shifts)
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Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: How am I going to stop some mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 engineer#engineer tf2#tf2 cosplay#my feet hurt so fucking bad from walking around LOL but at least i met a soldier cosplayer#my siblings went as pyro n scout also:-) not posting them here tho cause theyre 13. 👍#edgesart#i guess
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So based on a true story (then I went to my car and cried because someone apologized to me).
I thought I vented and whined in tags but I don't see them and I'm too tired to type it all out. Just know a few days ago I tried to avoid being in customer pathing, a customer then backed up to let another customer have some space, aaaaand the backing up happened right into my trolley at work. He then made a comment about how it was painful and I needed to be more careful. Today he apologized and said he felt bad enough about it even if I didn't remember him (I very much remember the incident but my facial recognition is in the negatives).
#my characters#oops i fell in love#anyway wow dang woah the apology was genuine and he didnt need to apologize#and i feel bad that i dont recognize him and if i see him again i still wont know its him#but like it meant SO much to me that he remembered me and apologized#cause i have clipped my own heels and ran over my own feet with the trolley so many times#it really does hurt! so i was concerned for oh no what if i clipped his heel or or or#but he just. apologized to me and i was definitely tearing up when i said thank you and i appreciated hearing it#and i dont like that he probably went home to his wife and was like oh i apologized and made the kid cry#its been a real rough week sir and that kindness was unexpected and i greatly and humbly appreciate you#so in honor of not hurting someone take my anxiety oc who is terrified hes gonna hurt someone#being told hey sorry you didnt hurt me and i overreacted bc he fucking deserves that much#i say completely biased bc i definitely needed that today#and since i needed it then my son oc guy needs it
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anyone have any tips for finding shoes that wont destroy my feet.... i had a pair of converse for so long that were (not a joke) 30 years old and they were perfectly molded to my feet and ever since i had to retire them i havent been able to find a single pair of shoes that doesnt destroy my ankles and feet when i wear them to work :(
#txt#i bought insoles and they dont fit in ANY of my shoes so ive basically given up but my feet hurt so fucking bad im desperate
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i was tired of being so antsy and anxious so i left the house and walked almost 5 miles. this technically broke my PT rules but i was able to consciously engage my core the whole time to keep my back from hurting + my hips from subluxing (thank u 9 days of PT exercises already making a measurable difference) & now i'm taking a hot bath so i am..... Knocking On Wood that i'll be okay. please god.
#my shoulders and hips hurt significantly LESS than they did before i left the house#my legs and feet are just really sore now.#i have my next irl session in a couple days so i'll bring it up then#just like. hey i know patients in my condition should start slow and i do respect that#however. i am a former athlete and my muscles + brain alike Get Very Bad when i don't move.#if i'm GONNA walk for miles. what do u want me to do so i don't fuck myself over.#dignity of risk and all that. i do genuinely feel a lot better. these past couple days of not walking much i've been in SO much pain and SO#stressed out. waow.#this is the most i've walked in a day in Years. also arguably thanks to PT???#pt tag#exercise tag#autoimmune tag
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i love travelling with deutsche bahn because you actually pay money for your seat reservation and expect the seat to be free but no! you still end up sitting on the fucking floor 😋👍🏻
#they double booked the train and now part of the reservations aren't valid anymore. mine included.#i want to kill myself fr like my feet hurt so bad and im tired as shit why do i give this fucking company my money to sit on the floor
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"Even if the sky cracks in mourning / And the heavens just won't open up for me" A Series of Small Offerings - II/12 - day20
#a series of small offerings#sleep token fanart#elaboration on this piece further down in the tags because this one may confuse people i think#(also please note that i firmly believe that the from the room below version of this song is the superior one)#(so the art was made with that version in mind because that is the version that lives rent free in my brain for reasons)#i've been thinking so much how to approach this one.. i knew pretty much since i've made the challenge that i will go with this line#specifically because i refuse to hear it as the lyrics sites and spotify tells me to hear it (as it appears in the post) but instead#i don't hear the 'the' in any version of the song i'm sorry that is just not there#so i'm convinced it is 'as the sky cracks in mourning'#(sky cracking-lightning;sky mourning-rain)#which is also exactly how the song feels to me#being a sad wet cat of a person standing bare feet in a strom and just crying 'why i was i so blind to my own hubris'#specifically in relation of finally (and far too late) understanding you fucked up a relationship so bad it still hurts years after#if you've ever felt anything remotely similar you know what i'm talking about#and you get why i refuse it being 'in the morning' instead of 'in mourning'#vessel i#vessel#vessel sleep token#vessel fanart#sleep token band#sleeptoken#levynn tries to draw#sleep token#edit: i don't mean to offend those who stand behind the line being 'in the morning' btw i just don't hear it#and i don't think i'm correct. i'm correct for me. not in your stead. half the lyrics can be heard at least two ways#edit2: appearently i'm actually right about something for a change.. a truly unusual turn of events#see comments for referrence pls#also edited this post to the correct lyrics#but leaving the tags for context 'cause thw original version of the post has been rb-d before editing i think
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fuck doc martens im never spending this much money on trash shoes again nothing but pain i swear to you . everyone give up on the docs im sick of it
#ive had these for over a year n theyre never comfortable#my last pair was a little better bc they were too big (they dont do half sizes so fuck off for that also)#but i had to wear 2 pairs of socks w them. bc too big.#now these ones just hurt like hell esp on my bad leg like my knee gets all terrible n they cut my ankles up#even the bigger ones that were a little more comfortable still left me with scars on my feet bc theyre fucking awfulllll#im sneakerpilled now i cant be fucking bothered.
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i am hoping to never have to get another colonoscopy again (until i’m old enough to need to get them etc etc) but tbh i would very much like to experience the relief and comfort i felt when i woke up, was able to eat a warm meal (meatloaf + mashed potatoes, perfect comfort food (and it being soft was great bc i had had a endoscopy and broncoscopy done too so my throat was SORE)) for the first time in over 24 hours, got to wear super comfy anti-blood-clot compression boots, was on regular doses of IV tylenol and therefore the most pain free i had been in ages, and then got to sleep for the rest of the day. AND there was the joy of being told i didn’t have crohn’s. it was solid
#marzi speaks#the colonoscopy prep SUCKED and i never wanna do that shit again#4 liters of shit yourself juice that tastes like saltwater#(plus a couple extra cups of miralax bc i had been on a muscle relaxer specifically meant to get my intestines to move slower)#plus all the walking back and forth to the bathroom ended up causing so much blood to leak into the soles of my feet#that not only was i basically walking on bruises that were only getting worse#but my swollen blood vessels had started to pinch my nerves which put me in the worst pain i have ever been in in my LIFE#genuinely i was getting delirious from the amount of pain i was in. brain entered full panic mode it hurt so fucking bad#thankfully my dad was there and got them to get me a dose of morphine. which was VERY pleasant#and made me immediately understand the dangers of opiates#bc i had one dose months ago and if i was offered another. i wouldn’t take it but i would lowkey want to#morphine felt Great . killed the nerve pain and while my feet were still sore i no longer cared. it was beautiful#ANYWAYS i don’t miss being hospitalized and scared but i do miss the sheer level of comfort i felt right after that operation#i was so tired and i knew the worst of it was over now so it was just. pure relief. i melted. fell asleep and stayed asleep mostly
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dude im being so brave rn
#logbook#cleaning out the fridgeeee lets fucking gooooo. oof.#doing it while the housemates are gone for various reasons but mostly so i can toss out the trash b4 they get back#planning to make my bed. then do plant chores after this.#ive given up on leaving the house this weekend which is fine bc leaving the house really becomes a several hours time.#like living up and out of the city and needing to get to the city on days im off? boo. just let me stay up here.#i got in my old person porch time this morning. played games and experienced the birds at my feet.#the fact that im not hurting so bad today is a win esp since tmrw im back at work and will just be hurting all over again#i'll just plan for errands after work instead and let myself clean the house which has been stressing me out sooo much lol#also i got new sweatpants and they are legit the cosiest ones. they top my other cozy pair. wild.#dude icb its nov. . .so much going on rn im truly distancing myself from all my life shit to clean house. literally.#work has been so shit every fucking day idk if i can do this anymore tbh#anyways no matter. im alive and still existing in case anyone was wondering.#i hope everyone and their plants and creatures are doing ok. mwah.
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#tko_art#save me midnight tiramisu#ughhhhhhh#feet hurt so bad#curse my parents for these flat fucking feet#HUGE flat feet#fee fi fo fum bro#i'm gonna zzzzz#so much things to do#can i live bro#can i just get a breather#hhhhhh#driving to the cities to celebrate my brother's birthday but soooooo tough#i don't wanna drive#i just wanna lay in bed and roll around on my day off#zzzzzzzzzzzzz#gah#can someone slow shit down#puase#pause pause pause please#ggggggggggggg#these bitches better know i love them#making tiramisu after an 8 hr shift#and a long hot shower#in this cold ass weather eith my dry ass fucking hands
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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