#my family refuses to acknowledge what i went through despite speaking up many times

[scorbleeo]

Book Review: Educated

by Tara Westover

Source: Amazon

Tara Westover grew up preparing for the End of Days, watching for the sun to darken, for the moon to drip as if with blood. She spent her summers bottling peaches and her winters rotating emergency supplies, hoping that when the World of Men failed, her family would continue on, unaffected.

She hadn’t been registered for a birth certificate. She had no school records because she’d never set foot in a classroom, and no medical records because her father didn’t believe in doctors or hospitals. According to the state and federal government, she didn’t exist.

As she grew older, her father became more radical, and her brother, more violent. At sixteen TAra decided to educate herself. Her struggle for knowledge would take her far from her Idaho mountains, over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she’d travelled too far. If there was still a way home.

EDUCATED is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty, and of the grief that comes with the severing of the closest of ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted, from her singular experience, a universal coming-of-age story, one that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers – the perspective to see one’s life through new eyes, and the will to change it.

ISBN: 9781786330529 (2018) | Source: Goodreads

Westover is So Strong

Instead of a review, lets call this my reaction to Educated. It's too powerful a memoir that I really do not want to insult it by "reviewing" the book. Seriously speaking, it was not easy getting through this book and not because it was a bad book but rather because of everything Westover went through. And upon finishing Educated, I really just want to give her a huge hug.

Educated follows Tara Westover's life from the first time she remembers remembering to the exact moment she finished writing her memoir. This book is more a collection of short stories from distinct events in her life, events that sculpted and moulded her into the Dr. Westover she is today (or at the time of the book's publication). The second I was done reading this book, my mind just went "she is so strong" but don't ask me why, just read the book and do not forgo the acknowledgements.

As I reached the middle of Educated, I remembered thinking, what would have happened if Tara did not have Tyler's support and encouragement from the beginning? And when I got to thinking about that, I was randomly flipping through the pages while taking a break and I saw the dedication page in the beginning. I am not joking when I said tears immediately formed when I saw "For Tyler". After that, reading Educated just became an emotional roller coaster ride, one second I'm so angry I wanted to slam the book so hard the pages fall off the spine, the next second I found myself preventing the tears to fall because I would like to continue reading.

Before I reached that stage, I was just annoyed the entire time I read Educated. I hated that she did not run off with her grandma. I was so irritated when I read how brainwashed she is because of her upbringing. I was pissed at her mother for being weak. I was in anger that whole time, I never expected to enjoy this reading journey until I reached the above mentioned part.

The biggest takeaway I got from Educated was how lucky Westover was to have so many good people despite having one of the most difficult upbringings. Of course, Westover has a tremendous amount of courage to become who she is today. And I did not forget just how much she worked to have the life she has right now. But when I said my biggest takeaway, I said it in tears with my heart broken for her, because I simply cannot (and refuse to) imagine how she might have been if she never met those people.

The last chapter got me in so much bittersweet tears. When Richard said "we were family". When her grandfather cancelled his plans just so he would not miss her when she visited. Damn, even typing this is bringing tears to my eyes. I am so happy that even though she lost her mother, she gained family she never had the opportunity of knowing.

I almost never recommend memoirs to people when they ask me for book recommendations because first, memoirs are subjective. Second, there are boring memoirs. And third, not everybody can handle memoirs well. However, I will recommend this book to anyone who even asks me for a book recommendation and I will tell them to pull through, take however long they want with the book, but finish it.

Rating: ★★★★☆

P.S.: Westover never mentioned them after the part where she started afresh but after Tyler, I was more than happy when she met Robin and afterwards being introduced to the bishop. I don't know if Westover still has a relationship with these two but even if she doesn't, I hope the book reached them.

[ilalos]

Worth it (Anthony Bridgerton x reader) Part 2/2

Summary: Your arranged marriage to Anthony seems fine, until it doesn’t.

Warnings: marriage, implied sex, angst-ish, fluff, pregnancy, crying, if you notice anything else let me know :)

Word count: 2.5k

The season passed in a blur with countless flowers and conversations that filled you with expectations about your marriage to the Viscount, you truly felt like love was around the corner for both of you and it was a matter of time for that corner to be turned. He was everything you had expected and more, you could tell he was wary about letting you in but didn’t want to push him so you let him open himself to you at his own pace. The had been some stolen looks, kisses on your knuckles that had lasted a little longer than they should and hand a bit lower than what was acceptable when you danced. To say the courting had been successful was the understatement of the season in your opinion, by the time the wedding day came you were counting down the minutes before you finally became Lady (y/n) Bridgeton.

Your wedding ceremony was short and the carriage ride to Anthony’s bachelor townhouse was even shorter. The wedding night had come with a surprisingly low amount of events, your virginity had been taken the sweetest of ways, with many kisses and whispered promises of pleasure that came true. By the end of the day, you were as happy as can be, laying on your husband's chest, feeling his heartbeat slowing down and smelling the sweet vanilla scent of his skin.

When you woke up the next morning the bed was empty and he had already left to work in his study back in the main Bridgerton home. He didn’t return until late in the evening and you were waiting for him so you could have dinner together.

“Thank you for waiting for me,” he said while taking a sip of his wine.

“It’s nothing, I like that we are finally spending some time together”

Anthony just nodded and continued eating in silence.

“How was your day?” You pushed for conversation, you had been alone all day and could really use some conversation with someone different than your maid, who was terrified of speaking freely.

“It was busy” he answered simply “how was your day?” He asked after seeing the face you made at his short answer.

“It was also very busy, I reorganized the books in the library, had the kitchen staff do an inventory on the pantry, and send the maids to the market to get some flowers for the table tops” you narrated proudly, hoping he might appreciate the way you ran the home.

“Good to see you’re settling in, darling” his small praise made you smile a little.

“You don’t mind that I changed some things?” You asked somewhat concerned by his silence.

“It is your home, you’re free to do whatever you please with it,” he said dismissively.

“It’s our home, Anthony, I want to make it perfect for you too”

After dinner, he walked you to the bedroom and after a couple of heated kisses you fell in his arms once again, the pleasure he gave you was addictive. Despite his cold attitude towards you in other aspects of your life, it was in the bedroom where you felt hopeful for a future where you both might learn to truly love each other, and then he would sneak out every morning making you feel like a worthless whore.

And so your days continued like this, every night was filled with passion and every day was lonely. You couldn’t even go to the Bridgerton home, you had been taught that a married lady was not to go out without her husband, so your heart slowly filled with sadness as you spent day after day alone in the townhouse. Anthony was none the wiser because he simply thought you enjoyed being by yourself, so it never occurred to him to invite you to his family’s home or anywhere else.

A month into your marriage you found out you were with child. You were extremely happy and Anthony had shown himself to be happy as well, but then that night he didn’t come home for dinner and didn’t make an appearance in your bedroom. He was more and more distant until four months had passed and he disappeared for two full weeks before you saw him again.

It was on the day of your birthday, and he had only gone to your room because the butler told him you had been very sick that day. When he entered the room he found you seating on the bed hugging your knees close to your chest, your eyes puffy from crying and silent tears still streaming down your face. You weren’t upset he had forgotten your birthday, you had never celebrated it so it didn’t matter he didn’t remember it.

“What happened? Is everything well? Is the baby-“

“Your child is quite well, Lord Bridgerton” you interrupted in the coldest tone he had ever heard from you “to what do I owe this joyous visit?”

“I apologize for my absence, I have been very busy” he answered measly.

“I figured out that much, husband” the word was said with venom.

“Are you upset with me?” He asked offended, you had never treated him so coldly.

“I am upset with myself” you started with a pained chuckle “I don’t need you to try and comfort me because you did nothing wrong, that is the reason for my anger” a small sob escaped your lips “I was taught to be a good wife, that my only job was to give my husband heirs and to keep the house running and I understood that and I didn’t fight it because at least I would have children to fill my life with love and a husband who at the very least would acknowledge me and my efforts”

“I-“

“I don’t want you to feel like you should change or apologize, this is not your fault, I feel miserable because I filled my heart with hopes and dreams of love but that’s just not how life is, at least not mine” you harshly wiped your eyes before finishing “I understand my place now, I’m nothing but a child-bearer for you and that’s fine because you didn’t even pick me in the first place” you got up from bed and opened the door for him “please leave me alone, I will be fine”

“I can’t just leave you here alone, have you even eaten today? In your condition-“

“Your child is perfectly well, my lord” your tone had turned icy once again “please go, I am tired and want to rest”

Unable to do anything else, Anthony left the room and went back to his family’s home. His mother had insisted for him to take you there that night, but seeing your state he didn’t even bother asking if you wanted to go. When he got there he was surprised to see the dining room fully decorated, his whole family dressed in their best clothes, even Daphne and Simon had paid a visit.

“Where is (y/n)?” Asked Violet.

“She’s not feeling very well” answered Anthony looking at the table that was filled with all his wife’s favorite food “What is happening? Why are you all here dressed as if you are attending a ball?”

“Anthony, please for the love of God almighty, tell me you didn’t forget your wife’s birthday!” Violet couldn’t keep his composure, how could Anthony be so clueless.

“I-I’ve been so busy lately supervising the building of the new house, it didn’t even occur to me that it was her birthday” Anthony felt terrible, as he should.

“It’s bad enough she doesn’t like us, son” Violet sighed, seating on the table “And now she thinks we don’t care for her birthday”

“Where did you get that idea, mother?” Daphne couldn’t help but ask “When she writes to us she says wonderful things about our family”

“Then why hasn’t she visited since the wedding?” This time it was Colin asking “Mother sent a tea invitation shortly after they got married and she never showed up, sent a poor letter apologizing but did not explain why she didn’t show”

“I might have an explanation for that” Simon spoke up “My aunt was a terribly strict mother, taught her that a wife was nothing more than a child-bearer and had no liberties like men do, for example: going out unaccompanied”

“Has she been out of the house since you married, brother?” asked Eloise, turning to face Anthony who was still frozen at the doorstep.

“I don’t believe so” he entered the room and sat defeated “I just thought she enjoyed being at home by herself, god!” he rubbed his hands down his face.

“I can’t believe it, the poor thing” lamented Violet.

“She hasn’t left the house in almost half a year” concluded Benedict.

“And here we were, refusing to visit thinking she had rejected mother,” said Colin.

“I would like to clarify, I never agreed with losing contact with her over one missed invitation” added Eloise, gaining the glares of everyone present.

“It matters not what we thought nor does it matter what has happened in the past” began Violet “right now I want you to go pick her up and bring her here, she deserves to be celebrated, especially after everything we put her through,” she told her eldest child, pushing him to stand and go to the door.

Anthony mounted the carriage and urged the coachman to hurry home and as soon as he got there he ran up the stairs to your room and burst through the door, jolting you awake.

“I am so sorry, love,” ha said kneeling on your bedside “I never knew you didn’t leave the house because you thought you couldn’t, you are free to do as you please, darling” he grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles “I didn’t mean to make you feel trapped in your own home, and I am sorry if you felt like I abandoned you” he caressed your face and wiped some tears that had fallen without your notice.

“You did abandon us,” you said, trying to pull your hand from his grasp with your other hand protecting your belly.

“I was merely supervising the building of our new home, I was hoping I could surprise you before the baby arrived” he explained, now seating by your side “I can’t possibly ask my family to leave their home but I know how much you love that house, and so I chose to build a similar one not too far from here”

“You are building me a house?” You asked incredulously, hardly anything could justify his absence but this was in fact a reasonable explanation.

“Yes, love” he once again caressed your face “A home for our family” at that your eyes filled with tears, this time from happiness.

You sat up and wrapped your arms around his neck, crying with your face buried in his shirt. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head and shushing you softly to calm down your cries. You spent a while holding each other until he suddenly broke you two apart, remembering his family that was still waiting for you both to show up.

“My beautiful wife, I must take you out of the comforts of your bed” he began, apologetic “My family is expecting you in their home to celebrate your birthday with a lavish dinner”

“Heavens! You should’ve started with that” you ran to your door and called out for your maid “I don’t think I have a dress for such occasion, non that would fit me now, that’s certain”

You opened your trunk and began taking out your chemise and all other items you had to wear under your dress in such cold weather. You took off your nightgown not caring Anthony was there, he had seen it all before, after you had put on your chemise your maid ran in and help you put on the rest of your garments and helped you squeeze your small baby bump in the dress you had worn for one of the first balls you attended when Anthony was courting you. She put your hair in a quick updo and even managed to coerce Anthony into putting on your stockings and your shoes while she did your hair. With all that rush and hard work, you managed to be ready in under an hour and still made it to the dinner at a reasonable hour (half past 9 is reasonable, right?).

At the Bridgerton home, you were welcomed with warm embraces and merry wishes on your special day. You all sat around the table and ate the feast that had sadly grown cold. Colin didn’t seem to mind as he devoured everything in sight, prompting Violet to chastise him softly. You, however, ate small bites because the pregnancy had caused your stomach to be upset easily and you didn’t wish to offend anyone by running out of the room to empty your stomach. Anthony watched you eat and held your hand atop the table, smiling as he watched you laugh and converse with his family.

“Is the food not good enough?” Asked Violet seeing your plate almost full.

“It is just perfect, my stomach has just been iffy since the start of the pregnancy” you answered smiling apologetically, Anthony choked on his wine because he realized at that very moment that he had forgotten to tell his family about your condition.

“You’re with child? Those are wonderful news!” Exclaimed Violet with a large smile “When did you found out?”

“Four months ago” you turned to glare at Anthony “I assumed your son had told you”

“How could you conceal such joyous information from your mother?” Violet then noticed her eldest daughter had become quiet, as well as her husband “Did you know, Daphne?”

“I was aware of it, yes” Daphne admitted ashamed “I too assumed Anthony had told you”

“You assumed my eldest son had told me about his wife’s pregnancy and I had decided not to mention any of it in our letters?”

“I-I’m, yes?” Benedict and Colin snorted with laughter hearing their sister’s answer.

Violet only shook her head with a small smile, her children were truly a wonder. Anthony was nervous that you’d get mad at him for not telling them, but one look at your laughing face told him he didn’t need to worry.

Later that evening you both laid in bed after yet another passion-filled encounter, your breathing slow and even making Anthony think you were asleep. He was caressing your naked back with feather-like touches, kissing your sweaty forehead every few minutes.

“I love you” you sighed, kissing his chest “You need not feel the same, I just want you to know how I feel”

He took a shaky breath before answering.

“I also am in love with you, darling” he placed a finger under your chin and tilted your head so you’d look at him “sometimes I’m scared of just how much I love you” he kissed you slow and deep, pouring all his love into the action.

The kiss was unlike any other you had shared before, this one was full of promise and hope. It filled you with love and certainty, you were now sure that no matter how difficult the road to Anthony’s heart had been, even if you didn’t want it at first, it had all been worth it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. If you like it let me know.

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[clairecrive]

Billy idea that I have no time to write myself loool: reader and Billy are friends with benefits. Reader is happy with the arrangement and knows Billy is sleeping with other women but she doesn't care. It's not serious with them. Billy however hadn't really thought about Reader sleeping with other people and he finds out. Maybe from friends (Frank, Curtis and Karen because hello AU) or maybe all of them are out at a bar and he sees her go home with someone else? But he gets suuuuper jealous about it and realises he wants more. I'll leave it up to you if Reader wants more too. Angsty jealous Billy though, am I right? Lmaooo (this is faulty-coding btw, hello 🖤)

"Commitment"

A/N: omg hi! I love your work so much I feel incredibly honoured that you chose me for this request! I hope you like it x This is also for this anon, I've combined the two requests since they were similar.

Warnings: angst, jealousy, slut-shaming, hurt-comfort, smut at the end

Word count: 3K +

Tags:@blackst0nes7077, @thefictionalgemini, @tarkanelima-blog

@pansysgirlfriend, @acciorudolphx @supernaturalcat7, @crazyclownchick (I don't know why it won't let me tag you)

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NAVIGATION PAGE

"Hey, stranger." A familiar voice and then his familiar touch on your back before he sat in front of you.

"Hi, Billy."

"it's been a while," he mentioned casually while his eyes took you in.

It had been more than a while, actually. Last time you saw Billy had been over a week ago. Well, you hadn't really seen him, that was the problem.

Ever since you had started your "agreement" you'd drop by his office from time to time to surprise him. He had told you that he deeply enjoyed office sex while you had never had it. Needless to say, it soon became one of your favourite things.

And that was why that day, you were at Anvil. You hadn't told Billy that you were coming. It wouldn't have been a surprise then, would it? However, when you stepped in front of his door, just one touch away from opening it, you heard it.

Well, heard her actually.

It was Billy that ended up surprising you that day. You usually loved surprises but that one you would have gladly skipped.

Although it had taken you most of a week to come to this realisation, you realized that it was actually a good thing to happen. The thing you had with Billy wasn't labelled. It was fun but it wasn't serious. Despite the fact that you were friends and hang out with the same group, you had never committed to each other.

And you were honestly fine with it. You enjoyed your time with Billy, outside and under the sheets.

It had been months though and you hadn't wanted to acknowledge it but it wasn't enough anymore. Billy's role in your life was ambiguous. He was your friend sure, but one you'd have sex with. He wasn't your boyfriend but he was the one you'd spend the most of your time with, the one with whom you were intimate.

You wanted more, you realized. Enough with these half measures.

Billy will understand, you told yourself. He inwardly made it clear where he stands. Time to broaden your horizons.

And, as matter of fact, you had. It was true that the ocean is full of fish but you hadn't had a lot of luck with them before. Sure, Jake was nice. He was polite and nice. An overall good guy.

He was just lacking a... je ne sais quoi that made you unsure about it. But you were willing to give him a chance and so you kept going on dates with him.

Needless to say, you hadn't spoken to Billy since that impromptu visit to his office.

"Been busy," you offered him taking a sip of your beer. It was a lame excuse but you couldn't care less. Karen offered you some appetizers. You stared at them for a bit before shaking your head refusing them. Ignoring Karen's questioning look, you took another sip.

"Yeah, she's been busy alright." Frank's low chuckle came from the other end of the table.

"Meaning?" Billy asked, now curious about the implication seeing how your cheeks had suddenly turned red.

"She met someone," Karen chirped in, winking in your direction.

Mentally facepalming you, you swore them off. It wasn't the way you wanted Billy to find out. Not that you cared what he thought since he couldn't be bothered to be as transparent with you, but still. You hated being put on the spot.

"Has she now?" Billy's eyebrow arched and he gave you an amused look. But his jaw clenched and that gave him away.

"Not that it's any of your business. But yes, I have. His name's Jake, he's a nice guy." You explained briefly, ignoring the intensity of his stare.

"So you're that kind of person then." Leaning over the table, his voice took an edge he had never directed at you. "Ditching her friends as soon as she meets a guy?"

"You know that's not true." Narrowing your eyes at him you were almost offended by his institution if it wasn't for the fact that you knew that it was his bruised ego speaking.

"Tell that to my many unanswered calls on your phone."

"That's not on Jake," you scoffed taking a sip. His eyebrow arched while his hands gestured to you as if to say "do tell".

"Let's just say that I saw firsthand just how busy you keep yourself when I'm not around." You tried to keep the bitterness out of your voice, you really did. But without success.

Billy's lips pursed in thought. You had no doubt that he had an inkling about what you meant but he couldn't figure out to what exactly you were referring to.

"So is this what it is? You being petty because I've been with someone else?"

"That's me wanting more for myself and taking it."

"If you were that insatiable, y/n, you should have just told me."

"Stop making me sound like a slut, Billy. That is not what this is about."

"Isn't it? Because that's exactly what this looks like to me."

Pursing your lips, you refused to show him just how much he had hurt you. Nodding your head you decided that you'd had enough. You did not have to sit here and take his bullshit.

"You know, Billy. Slut-shaming isn't a good look on you." Waving to your friends, you quickly told them that you had to go. An emergency you said. But they knew better, their eyes fixed on Billy as he watched you walk out of the bar. Hands tightening around the bottle of beer he had ordered, he stood up once you disappeared amongst the crowd.

Without bothering to explain himself to the group, he simply followed you outside.

"Y/n." He called your name once he saw that you were already a bit far from the bar. In a couple of quick strides, Billy had gotten to you since you had slowed down.

"Go away, Billy." you didn't bother to look at him.

"Wait, wait," he said gently taking hold of your arm to get you to stop. And you did but stared at his hand on you until he dropped it and took a step back. "Look I'm sorry, I was an asshole." he apologised.

You only nodded to show him that you understood him but didn't offer any words to assure him that you forgave him.

"And I'm sorry you had to find out about Madani that way." He added hoping to make things right between you.

"Don't worry, it was actually an awakening for me." You added briefly looking at him. Tone harsh and unapologetic. You were still too mad at him to care about being considerate of your voice.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it made me realize that this," you gestured between the two of you, "was not working out for me."

"Oh really?" now the word had lost every tint of disbelief it had before. It was more like he was challenging you. Like he didn't quite believe you.

"Yes." you stood your ground pushing your shoulders back, "I figured out that I want more. And I know that I'm not going to get that from you."

"It was good while it lasted though," you called over your shoulders as you turned, ready to get the hell away from him. But the words he said though, made you halt on your feet.

"Who said you're not going to get that with me?"

"That would require feeling something for me other than lust, Billy." you snicked not fully turning around to face him, just your head.

"Who says I don't?"

"Madani, maybe?"

"She doesn't mean anything, y/n." He scoffed rolling his eyes.

"Of course you'd say something like this, Billy. Doesn't help though." As if him admitting to having meaningless sex with other women could help his case. Men. Fully done with this conversation you gave him one last look before turning away again.

"I know why you didn't eat those appetizers before." Again, after a few steps, his voice made you stop. This time, the implication of what he meant, sat heavily on your shoulders making you tense. Still, you didn't turn around.

That didn't deter him though.

"I know that you love them but they remind you of your grandfather. He used to make sure there would always be some of those at home whenever you went to visit him. And I know you haven't eaten them since-"

He stopped when your head whipping to him, eyes glaring.

He was right. You knew it, he knew it. But him strumentalising your beloved grandfather's death to get through to you? That was low, even for Billy.

Not only it called for you to acknowledge out loud that your grandfather wasn't there anymore but it also surprised you because you didn't think anyone would notice something so small.

"What are you saying, Billy?" Eyes glossy, like everything someone mentioned him, you tried your best to not let your voice waver.

"What I'm saying is that I care about you, y/n. I care enough to notice things. The tiniest details that you don't even know are there. Like that every time you're reading and something bad happens, you press your hand on your chest over your heart, as if you wanted to stop the pain from coming or something. Or that you always cook whenever you miss your family even if you never say it out loud. Or-"

"I get it Billy." you raised a hand to stop him. "You're observant. I knew that. That's basically what you do for a living. Not counting that you're a fucking sniper."

"Maybe," he conceded slowly taking a step in your direction, "I notice things, that's true. That doesn't mean that I store them in my mind, though."

"I care about you, y/n. A great deal. Enough to notice all the little things that make you you and enough to memorize them."

"I don't know if I can believe you, Billy. If you cared you wouldn't be going around sleeping with other women. And I know-" you added when you saw his mouth open to protest- " I know that technically we weren't together but still Billy. A technicality is not going to earn you my trust." Shrugging your shoulders you opted for being honest with him. You had never lied to him and you certainly weren't going to start now. Billy had never lied to you either, not that you were aware. And even if this thought should have reassured you, you were still hesitant about believing him.

"Then give me a chance to do so. Let me prove to you just how much I care about you and how little I care about everything else." He insisted, taking another step and then another until he was in front of you. Hands on your jaw, he delicately craned your neck so that your eyes could meet.

The height difference had always been a reason for jokes among you. It was no secret that Billy had a slight size kink, at least not to you, and so more often than not he'd use that.

Thumb slowly caressing your jaw, his eyes flickered between yours. They were full of hope, of promises but there was also a lot of vulnerability. Billy was not the type to be so forthcoming about his feelings. The fact that he had been with you, on a side street nonetheless, was a demonstration on its own.

Sighing, you knew you needed to decide. Yes, hearing Billy having sex with another woman had hurt you but you were not together. While that didn't make it hurt any less, it made the situation slightly less grave. He hadn't cheated on you, not really. You hadn't told him you wanted more. Hell, before that you didn't even know that you wanted more.

And now that you knew, now that he knew as well, here he was promising it to you. He wanted to give you exactly what you wanted. So could you really say no to him?

Of course not.

"Alright."

"Yeah?" a big smile grew on his face, his eyes twinkling in joy.

"Yeah, I'm going to give you a chance. Only one, Billy. So you better not mess this up." Poking his chest with a finger you warned him that this time around, things were going to be different.

"You're not going to regret that, babe." His eyes held a solemn promise. Just briefly though because soon, they were back to their usual mischief. Billy leaned to you, his lips meeting yours in a small kiss.

At first.

He kissed you soundly, his mouth perfectly on yours, building his tempo slowly. Then, you felt his tongue on your lower lip and you knew that things were about to escalate quickly.

Not that you minded of course, but it was not appropriate to do what you had in mind in the middle of the street.

"Billy," you moaned slightly leaning back to warn him that you couldn't get too carried away.

"Call that Jim guy," his mouth peppered small kisses along your jaw, "tell him that it's over. That he never stood a chance," he moved down on your neck.

"Yes."

"Let's go home so that I can show you how much more I can give you."His mouth had trailed back up and stopped so that it was hovering over your ear. His voice was low and breathy and husky and fuck it sent a wave of pleasure right in between your legs.

------

No sooner had you stepped over your threshold than Billy's hands were on you. The door barely closed, he pushed you against it. His hands cradled your face, effectively keeping you holding you in place while his mouth ravished you.

You gladly let him do as he pleased. Mouth opening to welcome his tongue while your hands gripped his jacket to keep you steady.

"Billy," you whimpered his name as his lips left yours. You tried to follow them by getting on your tiptoes but he didn't let you. Chuckling, he gave you another small kiss.

"Yes. Remember that it's me that it's making you feel this good. Me. Not Jim or whatever his name is, not anyone else. Me." He growled on your lips while one of his hands gripped the hair at the nape of your neck making you gasp.

Staring at his glowing dark pits you couldn't do anything other than nodding feverishly. You were at his mercy. Completely. And Billy knew that and it did nothing but please him to no end.

You'd always enjoyed whenever Billy was rough with you but him being jealous and kinda possessive too? Game changer.

Smirking at your reaction, his hands moved lower on your body until they hatched behind your knees pulling you up. Biting your lower lip, he swallowed your whimper for the friction once you wrapped your legs around his waist.

Billy didn't waste any more time, in quick long strides he was in your bedroom and threw you on the bed. You'd almost giggled when you bounced on it if it wasn't for the savage look in Billy's eyes.

Fuck, he looked so sexy. A sin.

For a moment, he just stared at you laid there waiting for him. A hand quickly wiped his face before he unbuckled his pants. Now it was your turn to stare at him. More like ogle but you knew he didn't mind.

Shedding his pants, he crawled over you until his face levelled yours.

"I'm going to give you exactly what you want. And then some more." He promised, nipping your earlobe. "You're never going to feel the need to look for other guys."

"There's no one else I'd rather be with, Billy."

Your hands trailed over his still clothed back before tangling his always perfectly styled hair. "Only you." You whispered in his ear.

If it wasn't for your hand on his back, you would have missed him tensing. "Say it again," he demanded, his head still in the crook of your neck.

"You're the only one I want, Billy." You repeated knowing fully well how he struggled with accepting love and affection. This meant to him just as much as it did to you. He was giving you the promise of commitment but so were you. And despite the fact that you had already been loyal to him, you knew how important it was for him to hear the words.

"There's no one else for me either, y/n. Never was, never will be." He raised his head to say this. It was a confirmation, yes, but it also felt so much more coming from him.

He had been telling you how much he cared about you since you left the bar but somehow, him saying it again now held more meaning.

"You promise?"

You felt childish and it was probably pathetic of you to ask him again. But this was you being vulnerable, letting him know that you needed him. And you trusted Billy.

"You're mine." He said instead. One of his hands coming to cradle the back of your head while the other closed around your right breast.

"And I'm yours."

And here it was, the promise, the reassurance you needed. His lips met yours in a bruising kiss. It was wet and more teeth and tongue than anything but it was passionate. You were claiming each other.

Not separating your lips, he used his hands to get rid of your clothes. While he unbuckled your pants, you took his shirt off. Him doing the same with yours while you pushed his brief down on his legs.

Once you were completely naked, Billy crawled back over you. His hands resting at the sides of your head. He was everywhere. You could feel him between your legs, your arms wrapped around his back, your vision field occupied by his beautiful face.

He was everywhere, he was everything.

"And now, I'm going to leave no room for doubt in your mind anymore." He whispered on your lips, his cock rubbing over your slit teasing you about what was to come.

You had asked him for a commitment and fuck if he didn't commit to it. All night long.

[honestgrins]

Can you write a Klaroline drabble where Caroline shows up in NOLA and shocks everyone but maybe Kol or Katherine when she says she's Klaus's wife? Cannon Caroline not original.

I Heard a Rumor

The club was filled with people and the chaos of a Friday night. Klaus preferred to avoid the rush of tourists, but Marcel kept the VIP lounge to a more tolerable set even during peak hours - usually.

“Don’t you just love this place?” Janet was hanging over the balcony to watch the crowds below, none too subtly pushing her ass back toward him. As one of the humans on staff to provide a live blood source, she was perfectly amiable to Klaus. He’d even become something of a regular customer for her given his penchant for the tinge of bourbon in her taste. However, it seemed she took the friendly flirtation of their transactions to heart, and she was testing his patience for more. 

Unfortunately for her, his patience was wearing thin. With a barely polite grimace, he downed the rest of his drink and made to stand. “It’s a bit rowdier than I like, love, so—”

She gave a rapturous giggle, only to fall into his lap and sprawl across him. “I like that you call me ‘love,’” she murmured, her mouth clumsy against his ear. “Let’s get out of here, and I’ll show you how much I like it.”

Rolling his eyes, Klaus was ready to speed out of there without bothering to set her back on her feet. The only thing that kept him in his crowded seat was the biting and all too familiar voice coming from behind him.

“Sorry, love, he won’t be available to accept whatever appreciation you have in mind.”

Both surprised — though for very different reasons — they turned to see Caroline Forbes facing them with a pageant-ready smile and murder in her eyes. She was stunning. Klaus couldn’t help a grin despite his earlier annoyance, and his brow arched in challenge. “Hello, sweetheart. Fancy meeting you here.”

Her jaw shifted almost imperceptibly to the left, but his companion didn’t seem to sense the rising tension as a threat. “Who the hell are you?”

Just like that, Caroline’s smile turned sharp with her fangs on full display. “I’m his wife, and you’re in my seat.”

The club was home to any number of vampires who heard her perfectly over the music, and more than a few froze at the sudden silence coming from him. The Klaus Mikaelson they knew would have reacted instantly, either with murder or some other violence, and they all seemed to wait for the ensuing mayhem. Even Janet finally grasped the discomfort of the moment, and she extricated herself from his lap with all the delicacy a human could manage. “I’ll just— Yeah, bye.”

Whatever show the club was waiting for, Klaus had more pressing concerns. “Shall we continue this interesting discussion at home?” he asked, though they both knew it wasn’t a question. Gently gripping Caroline’s arm, he flashed them back to the manor. He heard Kol and Rebekah meandering somewhere, and Elijah was likely on the premises as well. With that in mind, he brought her to the privacy of his studio and its soundproofing spell. Wisely, she waited until the door was shut to yank her arm free with a disgruntled huff. He merely smiled as he went to pour them some blooded wine. “That was quite the display you gave, sweetheart,” he said lightly, handing her a glass. “I have to admit: I didn’t see it coming.”

“Bullshit,” she snapped, setting aside the drink without indulging. His lips pursed; it was an excellent vintage, yet he was more perturbed at her outright refusal of his hospitality. Perhaps this wasn’t their usual spat to be easily resolved. Proving just that, she seemed truly distraught. “You promised to leave Mystic Falls, that my life was my own.”

“It is. I haven’t stepped foot in Virginia since that day.” Brow furrowed, Klaus felt an urgent need to reassure her. “I understand you need time to accept what I’m offering, and I am prepared to wait however long it takes. What on earth made you believe I’m encroaching on that promise?”

Last he heard, she wasn’t even in the States. They did chat by phone every so often, and when she’d mentioned a tour abroad, he had offered a list of his various estates that would be available to her should she wish. It was the caretaker of his dacha outside of Moscow who alerted him to her softening boundaries. He certainly had no intention of making her regret the change, let alone whatever caused this latest upset.

Watching him with suspicion, Caroline apparently wasn’t sure of his intentions at all. “Seriously? It wasn’t bad enough I ran into the stalkers you have ‘looking out for me’ in every city, but the one time I take you up on borrowing a place, you have the staff literally bowing to me. I wrote it off as a cultural thing at first, then I heard the whispers.”

“Though I refute your accusations of stalking, I will admit to warning some friends and enemies you are not to be trifled with in your travels. As for Dmitri, I merely asked him to welcome you as an honored guest, which you are.” 

She scoffed and crossed her arms in defiance. “Yeah, well, he wasn’t welcoming me as an honored guest. I overheard him chatting with his wife about meeting ‘the new mistress of the house.’”

Klaus shrugged, unconcerned. Satisfied the situation wasn’t more dire, he allowed himself to relax on his sofa, daring to pat the spot next to him. Caroline remained unmoved, and he rolled his eyes. “Perhaps the nature of your significance was lost in translation. You’re the one who came to my town and introduced yourself as my wife.”

“Because half of Russia thinks I am your wife!” With an indignant stamp of her foot, she seemed ready to tear her hair out — but she frowned more sedately at the blankness on his face. “You didn’t know?” 

Shaking his head, he honestly had no idea. “What happened, Caroline?”

Finally taking her drink, she dropped to the couch beside him with an embarrassed groan. “I stepped into exactly one vampire club, and people practically threw themselves out of my path. I assumed it was more of the same from you, until the guy I was flirting with was suddenly yanked away by a friend. He went white when he was told my husband would tear out his intestines and shove them down his throat.”

“A bit uncreative, that.”

“Klaus!”

“I don’t know,” he insisted, his frustration growing to match hers. Rubbing a hand across his mouth, he genuinely had no idea why anyone would think him married. Though he had many hopes and plans involving Caroline in his future, matrimony was a human tradition he’d never once considered. “Truly, this didn’t come from me.”

Sighing, she leaned back into the couch and nursed her wine, defeated. “Oh. Then, sorry for cockblocking, I guess.”

Klaus smirked at that, and he turned to face her more fully. “Are you really?” The lightest blush stained her cheeks, and he knew she was biting her tongue at the faint scent of her blood. Unable to resist, he reached his hand to rest on the back of her neck, his thumb rubbing into her hair. “New Orleans is a small town at heart, love, and you effectively announced yourself as my wife in the middle of town square.”

“To be fair, I thought you had told the whole world, and I wasn’t going to be the only one not getting laid because of it.”

“Ah.” He was torn between a wince and a laugh, so he settled for another sip of his drink instead. His other hand continued to massage her scalp, and he felt the tension slowly loosening within her. “I never meant to restrict your choices,” he promised. “Tempt you into choosing me, absolutely, but not like this.”

Finally, she relaxed into him, slouching until he could tuck her against his side. Some doubt lingered, though, he could tell. Perhaps it was a sign of growth on both their parts that he didn’t take offense and that she trusted him enough be honest. “But who else would want to spread a rumor like that about us? It’s not like anyone benefits if we really did do the Vegas wedding thing.”

His mouth twitched, and he flashed to the door, barely sparing a brief kiss to the top of her head. He tore it open, only for her to slam it shut again. Pressing her back to the wood, she kept a heavy glare on him. “Put those away, we both know you’re not going to bite me.”

With a reluctant growl, he forced his fangs to recede. “It’s not your blood I want at the moment, and it’s certainly not pleasure I seek.”

“Yeah, ‘cause revenge isn’t a pleasure for you,” she answered snidely. “Tell me what’s going on before you kill the blabbermouth.”

“This is something I have to do myself, sweetheart.”

“Hi, I might want to help! They screwed with both of us here, not just you.”

A half-smile formed without permission, the fondness he felt for her softer than he was comfortable acknowledging at the moment — especially when someone had proven all too willing to use their connection against him. “Few in New Orleans know about you, let alone your...effect on me. Only two would maliciously speak out of turn about that. And just one of those would dare to bind you to me forever, lest I be challenged to follow through.”

Her face was an open book to him, and he hoped she never lost that human nature to share every feeling she had as it happened. Confusion, calculation, consternation, they all boiled down to an annoyed scrunch of her nose. “Your family knows I exist, at least, I think so. I never actually met Elijah, but you two seem to have gotten over whatever grudge match was going on at home.” He gave a brief nod, fascinated at the determined way she thought it through. “I also doubt you told him about your fling with a baby vampire. Kol and Rebekah, on the other hand, probably didn’t need to be told.”

“Bekah still likes to complain that we defiled the entire wood within earshot,” he muttered, not that he could be particularly aggrieved at the memory of a sunny afternoon. “And you are no mere fling, Caroline.”

That lovely blush rose again, and she looked anywhere but at him as he crowded her against the door. Gently brushing the curtain of her hair back from her face, Klaus waited for her to gather herself. After a deep breath, she finally met him with a half-hearted glare. “Which Rebekah loathes, so she’s definitely not daring you to marry me by telling everyone else you already have.”

Silently agreeing, he hadn’t lowered his hand from where it settled on her cheek, and a thrill came when she leaned into it. “Kol, however, enjoys sowing chaos wherever he goes.”

“Yeah,” she groaned. “That sounds on brand, and I played right into it with this stupid payback stunt.”

“We always did share a flair for the dramatic.”

The laugh built in her throat before it burst out, filling the air between them until they were both smiling like fools. Her hands had curled into his shirt, one at his hip and the other over his heart. The slight tug of fabric was tempting, but he still kept his tentative distance. “I promised you time, and I meant it.”

Biting her lip, Caroline nodded. She didn’t let go of his shirt, either. “Does it have be all or nothing right now?” It was half a whisper, the barest hint of whine in her voice endearing. “Because you smell really good and it’s been a long time thanks to your stupid brother, and I might have missed you more than I realized, so can you just kiss me alrea—”

There would be consequences from the rumors of their marriage, and more than just those Kol would face. Caroline would be a target, either for those seeking Klaus’s favor or those out to destroy him. Her presence or absence from his daily life would be a noted occurrence, and more rumors would arise should they be seen with others instead. New pressures would exert force on the evolution of their relationship, something he had measured in decades and centuries without such attention. But they could deal with those consequences in time, together.

Later.

[capitainelevi]

Drabble Challenge!! 5 and 19, can you combine them too???

Thank you for your ask!! ❤️❤️ Drabble challenge: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece.

“You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?” and “And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”

Growing up Petra has to take an emergency trip back home, leaving Levi to care for the two daughters they have together. Just how wrong could things get?

Canon universe. Word count: 1784

Petra could feel the judgmental eyes of her driver on her as she picked up the “disgusting” habit of chewing her nails again, as her husband would put it. She could feel anxiousness pouring out of her, half expecting to find her house in ruin on her arrival. Had it not been for her emergency trip to see her father in Paradise, leaving Levi alone with their two daughters would have been the last choice Petra would have made. It wasn`t that she didn`t trust her husband, no, but she knew he could be… hard to deal with.

Neither of them made it out of the war unscathed, and while Petra managed to keep her sunny side alive, Levi`s gruffness and pessimism only deepened. But Petra could always glimpse behind the cold exterior, being able to sense just how much her husband adored his little girls, even as they were in the process of putting his hair up in pigtails.

But no matter how much her husband loved his family, he was still a grumpy old man, which often put him at odds with their daughter going through her teen years. No matter how much Petra tried to prepare Levi for the inevitable change, her husband was not ready to accept “his little girl” was not little anymore. His overprotectiveness often suffocated Eve, leading to Petra taking her daughter`s side in most of the arguments between daughter and father.

Left on the sidewalk with her bags by her side, Petra took a glimpse at her house, relieved to see it had not gone up in flames in the few days that she was away from it. She took a deep breath as she gathered her courage to make her way inside to evaluate the damage done. The house was quiet when she stepped inside. Too quiet for her liking. While her daughters took up after their father when it came to their appearance, their personality was all Petra. “Much to their luck”, as their former squad insisted on reminding Levi every time they got to visit.

When she spotted her husband reading by the fireplace, Petra did not hesitate to throw herself on his lap, ignoring the groan it elicited. She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her.

“I`m not 30 anymore, Petra.”

Petra chose to answer by capturing his lips in a kiss which Levi deepened, the book long forgotten as it hit the floor. She could feel her husband's excitement through the fabric of his pants, and she broke the kiss, worried their time together might get interrupted. Petra laid her head on his chest to listen to his heart beat as Levi ran his hands up and down on her back.

“Did you miss me?”

Levi kissed her again before whispering against her lips- “I think you can feel how hard.”

Petra threw him a dirty look as she got off his lap, much to his displeasure. Despite having been together for 21 years, the flame of their passion never went out. And while her husband had been awkward with showing his love, the time spent by her side changed him.

“You dirty old man.”

Levi just smirked at her playful banter, determined to show his wife just how much he missed her smart mouth once the house went to sleep.

“How`s your father?”

Petra sighed as she threw herself on the couch, still worried about leaving her father on his own until she made the arrangements. She cursed at getting her stubbornness from him when the man refused to acknowledge his old age and the health problems that it brought. After days of yelling and tears, her father agreed to set his worries of being a bother aside and accept Petra`s proposal to be an active part of their lives.

“Stubborn as ever.” Petra rolled her eyes at the smile growing on her husband`s lips, shaking her head in denial at the implication that she is worse than him. “But he did agree to come live with us. I`m just worried about him being on his own for now.”

Levi took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb on her soft skin- “He`ll be fine, Pet. It will be good for him to be close to his granddaughters.”

“Speaking about them, how was your week?”

Levi cleared his throat, quite proud of his achievements while his wife was away. Despite his limited movement, he managed to keep the house up to his cleaning standards, and more than that, he thought he acted fair when it came to the little arguments he had with his daughters throughout the week.

“It all went smoothly.”

Petra was wary of her husband`s confidence, but she chose to leave it alone for the moment. She could see herself once her daughters got back from their classes.

“And I managed to keep all the brats and their shitty germs away from our house.”

Petra groaned as she covered her face with one of the cushion pillows. She often wondered how her husband could be so good with children while also acting like a jerk.

“Levi, our daughters need friends!”

“But Petra, those brats barely know how to use a soap.”

Levi was in the middle of explaining to Petra just how many germs the children brought in his house when their daughters burst through the door, excited to see their mother. Lizzie jumped in Petra`s arms while Eve wrapped her arms around her. Petra squeezed them harder, letting her emotions get ahold of her. She tried to be strong and not show Levi just how soft she was, but her first time away from her family had been hard on her too.

“How is grandpa?”

“He`s fine, sweeties. He will come to live with us in a few weeks.”

Lizzie jumped from Petra`s arms, excited at the prospect of gaining a new partner for playtime, one other than her father- “Another guest to my tea parties!”

Petra just laughed at her daughter`s priorities while Levi announced he had lunch prepared for them. She noticed the half-hearted kiss they gave their father before making their way to the kitchen, and if that was not proof enough of Levi not handling the situation as well as he had claimed, the room being as silent as the grave during their meal was. Levi had managed to turn the most cheerful children Petra had ever seen into… well, him. And in only a matter of days.

“So, did you get along with dad?”

Petra did not miss the grimace on Eve`s face as both girls decided to stay quiet at her question. She turned her eyes to Levi, who just shrugged and carried on with lunch. She turned her attention to Lizzie next- “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”

Her daughter stayed quiet again, and Petra nodded at her to answer as she ran her hand through her hair locks.

“Daddy takes the fun out of tea parties.”

Petra groaned, not believing the extends his husband would go to for his love for tea. She threw him a dirty look while Levi ruffled Lizzie`s hair.

“Princess, tea time is not for fun.”

“Levi, she`s six! She just wants to serve tea to her dolls.”

Levi was hurt at his wife`s words, as he expected her to understand how important it was for their daughter to understand the art of tea making from a young age. He had even gifted Lizzie a tea set for Christmas for that reason alone.

“But, Petra, she`s not too young to learn how to make a proper tea!”

“Lev…”- Petra was interrupted by Eve- “Dad moved my curfew to 8 PM. And he came over to my friend`s house to scold me for being out at that hour. It wasn`t even dark outside! Mom, he embarrassed me.”

Petra did not even have time to react, as Levi turned to her- “She`s too young to date!”

She rolled her eyes, tired of having the same argument with her husband every time their daughter was out with her friends. Petra was sure everyone in their town knew how scary Levi was, despite being confined to using a cane or wheelchair for movement. Everyone knew who Captain Levi Ackerman had been in his youth. She was sure anyone would think twice about hurting the daughter of Humanity`s Strongest Soldier.

“Mom was in the military at my age, dad!”

Petra did not miss the hurt in Levi`s eyes at hearing those words, knowing he was still haunted by the faces of all the children he had helped lead to certain death. He had once admitted to Petra he wished she could have had a different life, one where a child did not have to embrace the idea of death just for the dream of not living in a cage anymore.

Levi did not raise his eyes from his plate as he talked- “That`s different.”

“The hell it is!”- Eve spit in his face, angry at his father`s stubbornness.

Levi tried to contain his anger as he put his fork down and rolled away from the table- “You can say goodbye to the party on the weekend, young lady.”

Eve got up from her seat as she announced to the table- “And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.’’

Petra hugged her daughters and assured them their father was not mad before she followed her husband to their bedroom. She could see the misery on his face, and she threw her arms around him. Her husband barely whispered- “Do you think I`m a shitty dad?”

Petra squeezed him harder, trying to show him the confidence she had in his parenting- “No, Levi. Of course not.” She kissed his cheek before running her thumb on it- “You`re an amazing dad.” She hated that Levi questioned himself, but she would have never blamed him for it, as she knew all about his childhood and the terrors he went through. Petra knew his biggest nightmare was turning into a parent similar to Kenny.

Petra kissed him again before whispering against his lips- “You just need to understand your daughter is grown up.”

Levi sighed before giving her a chaste kiss- “It`s hard, Petra.”

She kissed his nose, knowing it would get a smile out of him, no matter what, and she was not wrong. Levi wrapped his arms around her again as Petra whispered in his ear- “They love you so much.”

“I adore them.”

Levi felt his heart stop when Petra took his hand and rested it on her tummy as she whispered in his ear- “And you will adore this one as well.”

[remsmoonlight]

— title : calming the waters

— word count : 2.3 k words

— pairing : rick grimes x reader

— summary : the switch from surviving on the road to living in a cookie cut neighbourhood hasn’t been easy on anyone, especially the leader of your group, you leave it to yourself to remind him it’s not all on his shoulders

— warnings : only brief descriptions of blood and violence .. usual stuff for twd

note: only at the end did i realise i left the opportunity for smut but im too tired to continue damn

Life in Alexandria has so far been strange to adjust to, you continue to find yourself waking up regularly through the night. Your body has relied so long on a broken sleep cycle it simply cannot switch off the switch as easily as you wish for it, and wish for it you do every night before bed. However, life refuses to heed to your desires, preferring to disregard them completely. Your family finds it amusing to tease you about the dark circles under your eyes, that is after you have had anything with caffeine in to rattle your system into a state of alertness.

How the residents have made it this far agitates you to no end, while you and your family have suffered tragedy and loss at the hands of people like the Governor, to the people at Terminus while they sat sheltered and safe from the horrors of this new world crawls under your skin. The thought scratching inside of you, they’ve never known pain as you have, the realisation comes as one of the sons of the Monroe family accosted you the moment you set out of the door.

“ ⏤ she keeps going on about this pasta maker. I’m telling you, she never stops. “

“ she never stops, huh? “ you ask, placing yourself on the porch step with your head lazily resting in your hands. You felt as soon as he began speaking to you it was going to be a conversation you would not be interested in.

The you from twenty five minutes ago happens to be correct.

This all began because Rick thought it appropriate to let you sleep a while longer, and while you do feel more rested than you have in the longest time you can remember, you can feel irritation tickling the back of your neck intensely. Oh, I’m going to kill him when I see him. A silent thought interrupts you rudely, you almost shake your head to be rid of it and focus back on Spencer.

“ yeah, she’s not someone you wanna be caught right now by. She can talk your ears off for days. “ he informs with a chuckle, completely unaware of your blasé attitude or uncaring for it.

“ you know, I can really imagine that. “

Every inch of you is buzzing with an uncomfortable energy, you don’t want to integrate with their community just yet, preferring to feel around and understand the dynamics of how everything works. When society fell into the flames from humanity’s last fight with the walkers, you were lucky enough to have been able to seek safety with your group back in Atlanta at the quarry, and these have been the same people you have spent time with, shared your meals with, everything done has been with them. Quiet town life has been a memory of a past life that has faded into nothing more than a grey blur, shrouded in fog. To live here? It’s like learning how to ride a bicycle after many years of letting it gather dust. Your ways are not perfect, but they’re perfect for you. For your own pace and peace of mind.

“ has my mom given you a job yet? “

“ uh, yeah actually she has. I used to be a preschool teacher before everything went to hell. “ you explain to him, your memories of the children you used to teach had been painful until Judith. The little girl had been what you needed to confront your past that you had been so quick to push away in order to survive. You can’t count how many times you’d come close to thinking about their little faces, and if they’d survived the initial chaos, refusing to even put a face to a possible death. You’d spent many days and many hours getting to know their audacious and bold personalities, it cut you deep to even imagine the days they were supposed to have, the lives they should have been promised extinguished so prematurely as if they had been no more than a flame of a candle burning in the night.

“ well, those classes are really small. You won’t have your hands full. I suppose you’ll probably be helping with the afternoon classes, we’ve got more teenagers here. “

“ mhm, I thought as much. “ your words are a small acknowledgement, though it deterred him little.

Spencer keeps talking and talking, every once in a while you mutter an ‘ yeah ‘ or an ‘ mhm ‘ and even at points humming in response. It’s obvious he means well and is trying to get to know you all but it’s just a simple clash of cultures, it’s why you’re unable to cut the conversation short so rudely. Even during the apocalypse being respectful hasn’t been wiped away.

Yet.

“ hi, Spencer! “ the sugary sweet tone of Carol interrupted the interaction as she greets Spencer and yourself, the broad smile ignites her features.

Although, you know her better to know this is not one born of genuine emotion to see the man.

“ I was hoping to borrow my friend here. Rick’s looking for them. “

Recognition lights his features up, his eyes widen in understanding her words. Never have you been more thankful for the older woman than currently, if there’s one thing Carol can be, is a miracle maker. Spencer backs away with little to say, bidding a goodbye to both of you.

“ Carol, thank you. “ you breathe, your hands move up to scratch your scalp as tension eased away into the open air. “ I thought he was never going to leave. “

“ yeah, I thought you were in trouble. I thought you were ready to kill him. “

“ believe me, if he spoke for two more minutes I was coming close to getting very creative with one of those blunt dinner knives in there. “ you speak, a short giggle plummeting from your lips at the thought.

“ he’s at the gate ⏤ Rick, that is. If you want him. “

A few more words of light hearted humour are exchanged between you, just little things. You have known Carol for a long time, one of the few people to continue to see her as a human after losing Sophia, yes she was in mourning, but she was still human. You never tiptoed around her, you offered her support as best you could and for that she continues to be grateful. Even in the prison, you became closer, as time passed on she took up something of a parental role in your life. Though you were old enough at the time to not need one, you accepted it. A slice of normality granted to you for what reason you have never found out, but one you wouldn’t seek out either, for some things happen without cause or reason, a mystery of life.

Turning around a corner, you’d realised you took a wrong turn around one of the houses, your sense of direction would have been your downfall had you not found the people you now call your family. Admittedly, you’d not spent much time exploring the vast environment that is home to these large homes, you still dedicated some time to mapping all the twists and turns. However, not even that has aided you. Despite this, you find a silver lining to getting lost.. you have been able to shake off whatever blades of irritation that sorely wished to cling to your being for longer, you wanted nothing more than to approach Rick without anything that could set him off.

Though few words have been shared between you both about how you all feel about being in Alexandria, it doesn’t mean you haven’t noticed a tension building its blocks within Rick. Knowing all he has been through, you’re worried that he will reduce himself to being no more than a caged animal, biding his time to break free. It’s why you’re searching him out, a discussion is sorely needed before anything should happen, chaos has a way of trailing your family like a puppy following its master.

“ there you are. “

Rick lays his sights on you in the distance, waiting for you to move closer before saying a word. You would go so far as to say it has been one of the few instances of genuine contentment as his features relax from the lines of strain it held not even a few moments previously. Your hands move straight to your hips, standing a few metres away from him.

“ oh, you were actually looking for me? “ eyebrows raise ever so slightly, you thought Carol had been simply nudging you in his direction.

“ just to check the perimeter. “

“ and you need me for that ? “ you question him as your hands move to rest on your hips, a knowing smile lifting your expression as you observe him.

“ ‘course I do. “ Rick’s tone matches yours, it’s been a while since you’ve heard even the faintest hint of amusement associated with the intense male. It’s alien in a sense, though you’re welcoming of it.

Few words are exchanged with the Alexandrian who has been tasked with guarding the gate, exchanging the barest of information you realise as you watch Rick. You hope that even an hour outside the walls of the town is enough to soothe even the slightest of the negative energy that surrounds his being. Your situation is not perfect, and it’s inverted to what you had been experiencing previously, but you believe in your heart that this has to work. The thought of your family not being able to survive yet another bout of the outside world terrifies you to your core, the ice that is your fear erupting from your centre at the idea.

“ is there a real reason why you wanted me out here? “

“ it’s been a while since it was just us, gettin’ hard to breathe in there. “

“ Rick, you know I’m always here if you need it. I hate to see you carry everything on your shoulders the way you do. “

The hardness that had embedded itself into his face slowly eases at your words and thanks you for your support, he reaches out in between the distance that separates you to slip his fingers between yours. A comfort warms you in a way that no heat could at the action, you’re unable to stop the laugh that bursts free with a splutter. Even back on the road, and he was at his wits end, he was never this affectionate. It’s not something you hold against him though, there were many more things on his mind that required more attention.

“ somethin’ funny? “ he questions you immediately.

“ seeing this side of you, it’s just a bit weird. A good kind of weird, though. “ you assure, continuing to walk over the overgrown branches. “ you’re doing okay? Like, really? “

“ just hard to get used to. These people have just been lucky. “

You nod in understanding, it’s been your first thought every morning since walking through that gate with months of dirt and grime that had accumulated, clinging to every inch of your skin. While blood from the dead dried into your skin, becoming part of you, they lathered themselves in floral perfumes and sprays. As much as you want to allow the venom to pool within you, to form a monster born of hate ⏤ you can’t.

In this world you can’t be driven by such emotions, to aim them at innocent people. Had you been in their position, would it be such an easy position to leave this protected bubble? A piece of the previous world left untouched by the cold, ghostly grip of the dead.

“ we can’t hold it against them. “

“ they’re weak, they could get one of ours killed. “ he quietly grumbles in response, his head shaking at the thought. They’d lost too much already, and he would be damned if he lost any more members of his family, especially now they’d reached an element of safety.

“ or they might not? “ you counter his statement, your eyes pleading as you stop where you stand, your hands still connected.

“ we can’t deal in maybes, we deal in certainties. “

“ what are you suggesting, Rick? That we take over? “ you ask, your brows dropping lower. You’d seen enough death and violence to last you a lifetime, you’d had enough for now. You can’t confirm if you have enough energy for another fight. Too much has been lost.

“ if it comes to it. “

“ this is their home now, our home. They’re not bad people. “ you argue lightly, not wishing for a heated disagreement out there. Any walker around would be attracted by the noise and then the smell of the living, you’ve begun to get used to not having to slaughter walkers every day.

“ no, but they’re unprepared. “

“ so were we at some point! “ inch by inch, you close the distance. You rest your grip on his forearms, trying to calm him no matter how useless it may or may not be. “ Rick, you’re trying to create a problem. I get this is an adjustment and if anything does happen, we’ll have you back. We will fight, but for the sake of safety.. we have somewhere to actually live. “

Against his better judgement he nods, just to put a stop to the conversation. He’d wanted to spend some time alone with you that held no prying eyes from Alexandrians, nor the entertained gazes of your group.

“ let’s just see how things go, and try not to keep things bottled up. It never works out. “

“ I’m not sure you want me to share my deep, dark secrets. “ he asserts with a playful inkling hidden poorly within his words.

A smirk lines itself into your features, you’re feeling the energy from Rick and you can’t deny that it feels good. You lift your chin higher, inching your lips closer to his, the warm glow beginning to burn brighter ⏤ a silent dare in the form of a quiet whisper on your tongue. “ try me. “

[deepperplexity]

Happy Birthday Snape!

Title: Happy 61st Birthday Severus!

Summary: Severus had spent many birthdays alone and giftless. Rarely was he congratulated nor acknowledged on the 9th of January - his birthday. For many years he endured it, hid his birthday and refused to tell anyone about it. Some already knew of course but he never received anything that told him they remembered. But then you came along, the new assistant at Hogwarts and you just couldn't help but fall in love with the dark man. But it took a birthday and a gift for him that burned a figurative hole in your pocket for a day before you had enough reason and courage to speak with him out of your own accord. Little did you know that that one birthday in January of 1988 would turn into 12 more birthday with him by your side, and beneath you...

A/N: For this day, this wonderful day that our dear professor Snape was born, I have done my best to create something I hope will appeal to most of you. We start off with young Snape and a rather gloomy birthday at Hogwarts while he is a student (just Snape), we head on over to adult Snape and a rather lovely birthday at Hogwarts while he is a professor (Snape x Reader) and then we finally arrive at older Snape as he works as a potioneer (self-employed) and a rather smutty birthday (Snape x Reader) at Spinner’s End! ;) <3

The three fics/chapters follow one another and show Snape’s journey so I do recommend reading all three to get the full experience ^^ The first one is rather short but to the point, while the second is a bit longer and the third one his looong. xD

I hope you all will enjoy this and join me in wishing a happy birthday to our beloved Severus who turns 61 today! <3

+A/N: I believe I mentioned a cake, and messy bed @blog4snape a while ago, so here you go. And, @m0thgutzz​, here is the fic you wanted me to link you, I BELIVE YOU THREATHENED ME WITH A WATERGUN IF I DID NOT TELL YOU AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE ATTACK SO HERE! ;) 

Setting: Hogwarts -> Your home  

Pairing: Snape x Reader

ABBR.:│(y/n) - Your Name│ (y/h) - Your House Of Choice  │

Word Count: 9432

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Kissing, Sexual Content, Nudity, Messy Messes...

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // AO3

Chapter 1: No such thing for a Snape 

1977; Last year at Hogwarts, 17 Years 

Christmas was over, a new year had begun and it was his birthday. 17 years and free to wield magic when and where he pleased. No longer bound to the confines of Hogwarts; even if he was there. But, despite the fact he was soon an adult and would be thrown into the big world to fend for himself as he longed for, he was still rather gloomy. 

Severus didn’t want to celebrate his birthday nor would he. It wasn’t as if anyone else remembered the day or celebrated it so why should he? It was the day he was born and there was simply nothing else to it. At least, that was how he felt. A rather mundane and regular day for the world and there truly wasn’t anything he felt were special about having been born. Some days, he even wished he hadn’t come to the world. 

His mother, a broken witch, had stopped wishing him happy birthday as soon as he were off to Hogwarts. Before that, he would at least get one little congratulatory wish in the morning. His father, the irredeemable abuser of a muggle, more often than not pretended Severus truly did not exist and so the day he was born went unnoticed by the man he barely could call a father. His classmates, housemates and professor seemed as oblivious as a stone to his date of birth.

So, as he got up and dressed he wasn’t expecting the day to be any different than any other day. And, he was right. He went through it as if it was just another Monday. Which it was. Another week, more classes, more homework and idiotic people to endure. Such a waste of time, he thought as he walked away from the Great Hall after having had his supper. 

The day truly had gone unnoticed just as he thought it would. It felt both good and bad, he felt content and sad about it too. But as he turned a corner heading for the common room of Slytherin he was met by Argus. The man who he had, actually, bonded with during his time at Hogwarts. His lips perked up in a tiny smile as Argus spotted him and headed straight for him with Mrs. Norris hot on his tale. 

“Congratulations lad,” he said with a smile that was more of a sneer that showcased his yellowing teeth. “Thank you, Argus,” Severus said as they both came to a halt in the gloomy corridor. “Had a good day?” Severus shrugged his shoulders. “Potter exploded a cauldron in potions, he got an extra set of ears for a few hours. That was fun,” he answered the man and Argus snorted. “Serves him right, awful boy that one. Sneaking about, harassing and disrupting the others. Nasty boy,” Argus muttered in that annoyed tone of his and Severus nodded. 

He had barely been able to contain his laughter at his bully, James Potter, as he pulled on the extra ears that sat right above the others. That, well that had been the highlight of his day, to be honest. Some justice in the universe. “Good evening my lady,” Severus said as he smiled a little wider as he thought of the memory and saw Mrs. Norris peeking up at him with her blood-red eyes. She purred out a meow and walked over. He scratched her under her chin and she then took a lap to stroke around his legs. 

“Well, we best be off. Got floors to sweep and paintings to dust,” Argus said and the cat returned to his side. Severus nodded. “Good night lad,” Argus continued with a smile that vanished as he started walking away from the boy. “Goodnight Argus, and my lady,” Severus said to their backs before he continued on his way to Slytherin a little ways away. 

As darkness settled outside of the castle Severus was sat, cross-legged, on his bed with a potions book in his lap and his wand in hand to give light. He read and read, allowed his mind to drift away from the day and time as his nose leaned ever closer to the pages of the book. It wasn’t until little circles of water marked the pages that he realised he was actually crying. The salty fluid leaked from his eyes, ran down his cheeks and dripped from his chin. 

He raised his hand to wipe them away but more tears just kept on coming. He snivelled ever so slightly and even though the dorm was empty he was grateful the curtains around his bed were pulled shut. It gave him at least some sense of privacy as he wept in solitude and near silence. His chest hurt as his stomach felt filled with tiny knots that turned into bigger knots. His lungs felt too tight and it was hard to breathe without shuddering. 

What is wrong with me? It’s just another Monday for Salazar’s sake! Stop this infernal crying! His thoughts screamed at him but no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he did not care, that he was truly not bothered - he couldn’t stop feeling the pain or shedding the abominable, infernal tears. 

Argus’s words came back to him and Mrs. Norris's slight purr. They were his only friends. They were the only ones who had remembered. How sad was that? A janitor and a damn cat were the only two who had wished him a happy birthday. But, they remembered, they cared enough to remember and say something. Thoughts of his parents entered his mind and rage replaced the sad ache in his chest. 

He wished, desperately, that they had not been his parents. He wished he had not been born into such a family; if you could even call it that. Wished, oh how he wished he had been loved by someone in his life. How he wished there was someone out there in the big world who could love him, cherish him and maybe make his birthday something other than gloomy and filled with tears. A card, a wish or even a gift. Just, someone who did something to celebrate that he had in fact been born and were part of the world. Even if everyone seemed to think of him as much as they thought of a common housefly buzzing about with no meaning. He just wished there was someone out there, just for him. Someone that would care and perhaps love him.

But alas, he had no actual hope for such a person. No hope for such a thing as love or friendship. He had, for his entire life, been taught that there was no such thing for a Snape. There was no such thing as true friendship for a Snape. There was no value for a human that was a Snape. There was no such thing as happiness or joy for a person with the last name of Snape. Such an ugly word, such a horrendous word. Such a useless, despicable name. Snape. Snape, Snape, Snape, Snape, Snape. Despicable name… 

He abandoned the book and killed the light from his wand before he huddled under the covers, still fully dressed, and hugged his pillow to his chest. His hooked nose buried into the soft green fabric as he tried his best to suffocate the snivels and sobs that escaped him without his consent. It was, truly, an awful birthday. A lonely birthday. A worthless birthday for a worthless person…  

Chapter 2: A stirring of hope 

A/N: Here we go, the second chapter and this is where you come in as an assistant that provides help to several professors with grading papers, assisting in difficult classes etc.! 

1988; Professor at Hogwarts, 28 Years. 

The little box wrapped in green paper with a black string woven into a bow at the top rested in the pocket of your coat. It was terribly chilly at Hogwarts this particular day, this lovely day, this amazing day. You had butterflies in your stomach as you marched from the (y/h) common room as you had been busy grading papers for professor McGonagall after classes had ended for the day and you enjoyed doing it in the common room where there were movement and sound to accompany you. 

You had, unfortunately, not sen Severus all day long. Not even in the Great Hall and you found it a bit odd. He was a scheduled man, punctual and precise in his everyday life. Yet this day, this fantastic day you had longed for since you first found out about it, he was nowhere to be found. 

So, you had to go to him. The little gift had been burning a hole in your pocket the entire day and you, frankly, just wanted to hand it over and get rid of the fluttering butterflies that swarmed inside you. You hoped he would accept it, that he would open it and be pleased. But with Severus, you never knew. 

Truly, you never knew where you had him. You had been flirting with him since late September and sometimes he sneered, sometimes he glared, sometimes he huffed and sometimes (although rare) he smiled and averted his gaze. You had no clue if he understood your affection for what it was. Or, if he even remotely felt anything like what you felt for him. Perhaps you were just a nuisance to him? 

Nevertheless, you had decided to purchase him a gift - even if you were likely to receive none in return. You didn’t mind though. You just wanted to make him happy, make him smile. As you thought of his stoic face with the distinct features and his deep onyx eyes heat swirled in your stomach and a light blush crept over your cheeks. Your hand slid down to your pocket and felt for the gift. Yupp, it was still there. Burning a hole with nerves in your pocket. 

You arrived outside his private quarters and knocked on the door. You waited, listened, and waited a little more. You didn’t need to knock a second time as Severus always answered his door on the first round of knocking. If he didn’t, he wasn’t there. So, you sighed as the door remained shut and headed to his classroom. Your nerves prickled and made you shiver slightly as you truly did not know how the dark and closed off man would react. But, you’d find out in a minute. 

You knocked on the door as you had arrived and it swung open. Your breath hitched as you saw him over by a cauldron in the far corner. Brewing a potion that made aqua coloured smoke slither out and up from the cauldron he hunched over in a focused stance. 

You had to take a moment to catch your breath as he had removed his billowing cloak and stood in the tight frock coat that hugged his form and accentuated his waste as it flared out ever so slightly around his hips. Images of popping buttons ran through your head as you were already too aware of how many there were - having counted them too many times to ever be able to forget. 

“(Y/n), what gives me the pleasure?” he murmured without looking over at you. You took a steadying breath. You could never get used to that thunderous voice of his that could be heard so clearly even if he spoke with a rather low tone. “Oh, I thought I’d come by,” you said as you suddenly hesitated regarding wishing him a happy birthday. No, I bought a gift, it is his birthday and I don’t think anyone has congratulated him so I shall do it. Yes, yes I shall do it. Move your legs! Come on, go up to him! 

You scolded yourself into moving with hesitant steps. Your shoes clicked against the stone floor as you moved closer. “Well, as much as I enjoy your company, (y/n), I am in the middle for brewing a draught of peace. It’s a rather-” “Complicated potion, I am aware.” He arched a brow at you, possibly surprised but it was hard for you to tell. His expressions were shown with small little shifts and more often than not they were hard to decipher. So you simply smiled as you leaned a little closer. 

“I see you’re adding powdered porcupine quills, I’ll just wait until you’re finished then.” He arched a brow at you as you sat on top of a desk, that the students used, to wait. You smiled at him and he focused on the potion again. You knew he’d have to stir until it turned white and then allow it to simmer on low heat before adding seven drops of hellebore. He would be finished soon so it wasn’t really a bother to wait. And, it would allow you to look at him unhindered if you stayed and waited in the secluded classroom. “As you wish,” he simply grumbled out and you folded your hands in your lap as you propped your feet up on the bench in front of you. 

It took exactly 14 minutes until he was done. For 14, wonderful, minutes you could just look at him. Study his features, the curves of his body and the long black hair he had fastened behind his ear on the side closest to you. He had cute ears, large but peaked and rather narrow with gentle little earlobes. For a moment you wondered how he would look with pierced ears. You found the idea rather intriguing. Perhaps, a silver ring? Oh, that would look rather sexy on him, he could totally pull that-

He straightened and you smiled hastily as your thought stopped n its tracks before it had ever reached its endstation. “Done,” he stated flatly and you lowered your feet to the floor. “Great, may I have a moment of your time now then?” He turned towards you. His face stoic but his eyes looked rather puzzled. You simply kept smiling as you honestly couldn’t stop as he was close by. He always made you smile despite the stoic face, the command of respect and the glaring eyes that sometimes, but rarely, had a gentle shine to them. 

“You may,” he said as he clasped his hands behind his back and remained utterly still. You often wondered how he did it. How someone could be so still as to be more of a statue than a living being. You truly did not want to know the answer, but you still wondered. “Well,” you started as you rose from the desk, “I would like to congratulate you if I may?” “Regarding what?” “Your birthday of course!” you giggled out as you shook your head gently on a small sigh. 

“I do not celebrate it,” he simply stated and you gaped at him. “But, it’s your birthday, Severus. It’s worth celebrating.” “Not to me, it isn’t.” His words were cold, flat. They weren’t growled or shouted or even said with sadness. They were just empty. Utterly void of emotion. Your heart stung as he seemed so far away and almost lost. I will have none of that nonsense.  

“Well I think it’s worth celebrating that you were born, so suck it up.” His brows rose as you spoke, definite surprise in the dark pits that were his eyes and you rummaged in your pocket to retrieve the gift that you now wanted to give not because you wanted to get it over with but because you truly wanted him to feel some form of happy emotion on his birthday. Perhaps he wouldn’t, but perhaps he would. 

“Here,” you said as you reached out your hand with the little gift, “and happy birthday Severus.” He stood still for another moment before he slowly unclasped his hands from behind his back and reached his left hand out. His movements were slow yet steady, his fingers graced your hand as he grabbed the gift. 

“You, bought me a present?” “Mhm,” you smiled out with a nod as he looked at you, “that is what one does on another person’s birthday you know.” He nodded ever so slightly before his gaze went to the gift that looked even smaller in his larger hand. “Well go on, open it.” At your words, he reached out with his free hand and tugged on the string that released the little bow. He unwrapped it slowly; as if he almost didn’t want to do it or didn’t want the unwrapping to end. You couldn’t quite figure out why. The whole point of getting a gift was what laid hidden beneath the wrappings - not the actual wrappings. You had never seen anyone do it so slowly before.

He finally revealed a little black box that was labelled ‘Brelixion’ with silver-coloured swishy writing. It looked quite elegant and the store was perhaps not well known to the regular magician but you knew Severus was well aware of the little shop that only housed expensive, exquisite and potions exclusive things. You had to be a highly skilled potioneer to use the items as they were not for ordinary magicians. They were for those who understood, commanded and ruled over potions with the utmost understanding of the art that was potion-making. 

Severus, you knew, was such a magician. He was an excellent potion creator, a true Potions Master. So, it was the only place you even considered to buy him a gift from. And it appeared you may have been right in your decision. He looked stoic, yes, but there was an odd softness to his sharp features as he looked at the box. Okay, first we unwrap for an eternity and now we just look at the box? Ooookey, well, it’s his birthday, his choice.  

You stood across from him, silently smiling as you waited as patiently as you could for him to open the box. But he didn’t. He just held it in his hand and looked at it. You knitted your brows together. “Aren’t-, Aren’t you going to open it?” Severus jerked his head up at your voice; as if he had been deep in thought. “What? Yes, excuse me,” he muttered under his breath as he slowly lifted the lid and peered inside. 

For a tiny fraction of a second, you were afraid you had done something wrong as he frowned at your gift. It, well it hurt, to be honest. You had really given thought to the whole thing as it was about a month and a half of your salary that went towards that little gift he so gently held in his hands while his face seemed to show displeasure. 

You entwined your fingers in front of you as you looked away from him and down at the floor. “Do you, do you not like it?” you asked with a low voice and you felt disheartened by your own words. You heard him move but you didn’t dare to look up at the dark man. You just bit your lip and nervously wrung your fingers. 

“It’s perfect,” he said and you could not believe the softness his voice vibrated through you with. Slowly, ever so slowly, you looked up and found him looking right at you. His eyes were shiny, his mouth gently curved up in a smile and he seemed full of life rather than the statue-like state he seemed to always be in. “Really?” you asked feebly, he nodded. “Truly.” 

Your shoulders lowered as you relaxed a bit and let go of the tension that had stiffened you. “Tell me, (y/n), why have you done this?” You tilted your head, now your eyes were the puzzled ones. Had he truly not seen your efforts to get closer? Had he not noticed the fondness and desire you had for him? You thought you had made it quite clear numerous times yet it seemed to have gone over his head, how in the world that was possible when Severus was such a clever man you could not fathom. 

It took you a moment to order your thoughts and he waited with curious eyes directed at your own. “I-, I thought you knew?” “It’s my birthday, yes, but that does not warrant such an extravagant gift as this.” You bit your lips and lowered your gaze. Do I have to spell it out? Gosh, I-, I-, oh I don’t want to spell it out. Why can’t he just understand I’m in love with him? Is it really that strange of an idea?

You took a breath and searched for your courage. “I, I am very fond of you.” It wasn’t a lie but neither was it the full truth. Silence lowered over you for a few seconds but then you heard him take a breath and speak - in the nick of time as you wanted to run for it. “Is that so?” Was, was that a purr? In his voice? No, I, I must have misheard him. “Yes,” you whispered as you lowered your head even more, “I am very fond of you and I just, just wanted to tell you, or show you. And, wish you a happy birthday. Not that my efforts will make a difference but-” “It makes all the difference in the world.” 

You stiffened as his voice rumbled around you, vibrated through you and made heat swirl in the pit of your stomach where the butterflies had been all day. His voice, his lovely voice was gentle yet firm, measured yet liberated. It was an odd combination but you loved it. Something about it felt private, personal. 

He stepped up to you and you saw his hand come in under your chin before you felt it. He tilted your head up and his cold skin against your own, slightly warmer, made you shiver. It felt good. “All. The. Difference,” he stated with pressure on each word. You blinked as he gazed into your eyes and you couldn’t help how your knees weakened, how your heart pounded and your lungs felt too tight to breathe with. 

“Thank you,” he said and his breath warmed your face, “for making my birthday something, other than void.” It seemed as if it were the only words he could give you at that moment and you took them with joy. You would forever remember and cherish them. “You’re welcome.” “But, I do have to ask…” “Yes?” you said as you tried to decipher what was hidden in his eyes. “Do you, perhaps, feel something other than collegial friendship and fondness for, me?” 

You blushed at his words as he still had your chin in his grasp. You were sure he could feel warmth radiate from your heating skin and it felt as if your heartbeat echoed out around the both of you. “Yes,” you finally stated on a hitching breath, “yes I do, Severus,” you continued as your mouth went dry. “Good,” he said with that thunderous yet soft voice before he nearly gave you a heart attack as he leaned in and planted a gentle yet firm kiss against your lips. It happened so fast it took you a second to react. But when you did, your body softened, your thoughts went silent and all you could feel was his lips on yours for a few amazing seconds as the taste of him and peppermint overtook you.  

As you broke apart you drew a deep breath. Air could finally fill your lungs again. But your heart pounded harder and you blushed a deeper shade of red as he smirked at you. “Why, (y/n), I do believe you might have a fever.” It was cruel of him really, to tease you, but at the same time you had never seen or heard him make such a remark and his voice was not harsh. It was gentle and inviting. “Well, I think I might be struck by a sickness,” you said as you looked at him. He arched a brow at you. “I do believe my heart has been struck by sickeningly sweet affection and it does make me suspiciously hot and bothered at times,” you continued and blushed even more as the words were outrageously revealing and never had you dreamt of speaking in such a manner with Severus. “My oh my, perhaps there is a cure for this sickness of yours?” “Oh there definitely is a cure. As long as I get my daily dose of Severus I’ll be fine,” you said with a shy voice as you really felt quite audacious and you had no idea what to do with your hands, how to stand or even how to look at him without wanting to hide from the embarrassment of your words. 

But Severus, well he just smiled ever so slightly towards you. “My my, we do have an audacious mind,” he hummed with a gentle thunder to his gruff voice, “I must say, I never imagine you to say such lovely things, (y/n). Feel free to keep surprising me,” he said as he set the gift down on a nearby desk. He took your face in both of his hands, ever so gently, as he looked down at you from his towering position. 

His eyes were still harsh, his face still stoic, his lips thin and his jaw so tense. Yet at the same time; he had a light swirl in his gaze, a slight tug at the corner of his mouth, a sort of sensual harshness to his face and jaw that utterly captivated you and spurred on the heat that gathered in your stomach. Your breath shook as you lost yourself in his eyes. As you truly lost yourself to the blooming love that glowed inside of you.

“Severus, I was afraid you didn’t feel like-, that you didn’t like-, that you didn’t-” “Hush,” he said as he leaned in to kiss you again. But his lips never came. He cursed violently and in the next moment you were hidden by him, pressed to his warm chest and you were so shocked you failed to smell the smoke in the room. But there was no missing the sound of an exploding cauldron and, certainly, no way of missing Severus’s hiss as the ruined potion rained down over him as he protected you from the liquid that was heavy and white. 

You started to giggle, you tried to stop as he swore and hissed while potion covered him from head to, well to his butt really, but you simply couldn’t help it. He looked so cute as he whipped his arms and shook his head so potion splattered about from his long black hair. You were fortunately still close to his chest so none rained down on you. 

He swore a few more choice words. You tried to quiet your laughter as he spluttered and glared at you. “I’m sorry Severus, it’s just, we forgot and you don’t-, you never-” “No, I do not. Apparently, audacity is not your only surprising gift. You’re quite the distraction as well. Obviously.” You blushed again and lowered your head at his snarled words. “But, I do enjoy the way you distract,” he murmured ever so gently as his fingers yet again tipped your head back from where he held them under your chin. “It’s, audaciously distracting to be in your presence like this. With no boundaries of courtesy or distance of caged emotions.” You looked at him with widened eyes, so you do feel as I do? Truly? You thought but you did not dare to utter the words aloud. 

“Can I expect you to distract me again soon?” he asked on a deep rumble. You blinked and then swallowed. “If you wish, if, if you allow me to,” you stuttered out with a shy voice and your knees shook a bit. He was the Severus Snape after all. Not only was he a busy man but he was also quite private and closed off. Not to mention feared and even loathed by some students and you had noticed he always avoided spending his free time with anyone. So as he nodded in agreement to your question you could not help but to smile so widely your cheeks hurt and all you wanted to do was to kiss those lips again. 

But in that precise moment, a few drops of potion ran down from his hair, down his forehead and then down his nose. You giggled yet again before you stroked away the liquid as he nearly crossed his eyes to watch the movement of your finger and that only made your giggle turn into laughter as he looked adorably ridiculous. Nothing like the notorious dungeon bat of darkness.

“A sweet laugh as well,” he grumbled on a snorting chuckle and you tried to suffocate the laughter. “Well, I’m sorry, you’re just so adorable,” you laughed out and he arched a brow at you while his face hardened to near stone. “Be glad I’m fond of you...” he huffed out as his eyes turned darker. Okay, note to self, do not call him adorable unless you want to make him pissed as the hornets of a kicked hornet’s nest. Even, even if he is adorable. You whipped out your wand to clear away the potion and the hardened lines of his face softened as you smiled at him. He nodded and you flicked your wand. He was clean but your thoughts were dirty as he gazed into your eyes and a warm shiver travelled down your back...

Chapter 3: A line of chocolate 

A/N: This fic has a section that is split and marked male gender and female gender - I wanted to give at least a little more explicit content and to do that I felt it was best to do two sections (one for female genitalia and one for male genitalia) so I didn’t have to be so vague and could write a bit more freely. I hope you are okay with this setup! Everything is still GN in the sections except the physical aspects of you and the sections are almost identical except what Snape does to your body.

2000; Potioneer, 40 Years  

You were being as silent as you could while you prepared breakfast for the birthday man. Forty years, I can’t believe he’s turning forty. It’s, it’s insane. Where did the time go? You thought as you ordered the table with a firm whipping of your wand. Plates, cutlery, cups and the food gently floated into place. You pointed your wand at the coffee pot and it swayed towards the table before it sat itself down on a little holder with an everglowing flame underneath to keep it warm. 

You rubbed your hands together, a slight smile across your face. Your husband was sleeping upstairs with no clue about what you had planned for the day. Well, he did say I was audacious, even if it was quite a while ago now. You chuckled to yourself as fond memories of the first birthday you had celebrated him on floated through your mind. It had been a mess of emotions and potion. But everything had turned out alright in the end as you had now spent twelve years together. 

You took a moment to check everything before you nodded to yourself, checked the time and saw it was nearly eleven in the morning as you strode off to wake Severus from his deep slumber. You tipped as quietly as you could through the little house and upstairs, opened the bedroom door and stepped inside of the cosy little bedroom with a bed that was frankly too big for the room; which made the room look smaller than it actually was. 

Your heart skipped a beat as he laid on his back, his black hair spread out across the pillow and his chest gently rose and sunk in the midday sunlight that seeped through the little windows. The cover was bunched up at his waist, his upper body on display for you to drool over. He truly was gorgeous. His dark chest hair dusted with greying hairs, his tummy a little softer than a few years ago; but his skin was as pale as ever. You smiled at the sight. You adored him, His body, heart, soul and mind. All of him. 

You gave yourself a moment to just appreciate what you had, what was yours. Who you belonged to and lived with, who you were growing old with and made memories with each day that passed. He made you whole. Made life beautiful and heaven felt useless compared to your life. I’m so lucky to have you darling, you thought as you stepped closer to the bed. 

You stroked his shoulder, kissed his cheek and whispered to him that it was time to wake up as you giggled out a ‘sleepy head’. For he was. He would sleep the days away if you allowed it. Nights, not so much. He never came to bed before midnight and rarely rose before ten in the morning unless you woke him up - or he had a meeting with a customer or company provider of one sort or another. 

He grumbled and groaned as he turned his head away from you. “Come on darling, it’s time to wake up,” you said a little louder and petted his shoulder a little harder. “No,” he groaned out and you rolled your eyes. “Always such a fuss to get you out of bed,” “It’s warm and comfortable,” he grumbled and you smiled. “Well, I made breakfast, your favourite.” His head jerk back towards you and his eyes were suddenly wide open.  “Really?” “Really,” you said on a nod and he smiled at you. 

You both ate, drank coffee and enjoyed the silence. Severus truly weren’t a morning person and you had learned through the years to be quiet for the first hour after he woke up. It made for a more pleasant day and a happier husband so you really didn’t mind. Truthfully, you had come to be rather fond of the silence as he allowed you to just look at him. The first few months he had been rather annoyed by this little habit of yours but he had come to accept it, as you had done with the silence. 

When the table was cleared, the dishes put away and Severus had finished his third cup of black coffee, as he read the news seated by the kitchen table, you turned towards him. “Darling,” you said to get his attention and he looked up, “happy birthday.” He smiled at you while he folded the newspaper and placed it on the table as the clock struck twelve. “Thank you, love,” he said and the difference between this birthday and the first struck you in that moment of time. 

“Still think your birthday is not worth celebrating?” you asked and you saw in his eyes that he immediately understood what you were referring to. He shook his head. “No, not anymore. I’m rather, rather fond of it now.” You giggled and went over to him, he opened up his arms and you stepped in between his legs as he embraced you around your waist and you kissed the top of his head. 

His hair smelled like sage, copper, smoke and sheets. He needed a shower. Not that it smelled bad, but it smelled of work and you didn't want to be reminded of that on his birthday.   “Come on, let’s take a bath,” you mused and he leaned his head back to look at you. His black hair hung down behind him and you ran your fingers through it. “I showered two days ago,” he said with a furrowed brow. You sighed. “Take a bath with me.” You stepped out of his seated embrace and he rose without any further remarks. 

The water was warm and felt gentle to your skin as you snuggled into Severus’s chest and his arms folded around you. You hummed in delight as the gentle scent of honey and vanilla filled your nose from the soap you had poured into the water earlier. “I love you, (y/n),” he whispered before his lips graced your head. “And I love you,” you breathed out. He hugged you tighter and his naked skin against your own felt utterly delightful. 

You took a moment to just enjoy it, enjoy the cuddling and closeness. But thoughts of his birthday came and you felt a small, slightly wicked smile tug at your lips. You allowed your hands to stroke his legs on either side of you. Up and down, up and down. Gentle movements yet your intent was clear. He grew behind you, hardened and you felt a sense of pride that such simple touch from you could arouse him so hastily. 

You turned around as the water sloshed around your body and some spilt over the edges of the tub. Your mouth started tracing kissed over his shoulder, his neck, his throat and eventually your lips joined with his as you straightened and straddled him. You silently thanked yourself for installing such a large tub and then you silently thanked him for allowing you to decorate and remodel your home through the years however you wanted. 

He purred against your lips and you silently moaned as his strong hands grabbed your hips. You wiggled a tad and he groaned as you were pressed against his hardening erection. “Happy birthday,” you whispered. “Happy indeed,” he purred back with that deep voice of his. You shivered and heat made your toes curl. 

He nibbled on your bottom lip as your hands cupped his face. Your tongue darted out and licked his upper lip as you ground against him again. You felt a hunger so strong you could barely contain a growl, he did that to you. Still. After twelve years of love and making love, growing and changing, evolving and finding yourselves he still made you ache with want. Still made you boil with lust. Still managed to turn you on so badly you feared you had gone mad for him sometimes. 

Your hand stroked its way down over his chest, his stomach, until you reached his cock. You scooted back a bit and grabbed him with desperate movements. You began to stroke him, he moaned into your mouth and as you stroked a few more times his lips left yours as his head tilted backwards. His eyes closed in bliss produced by your hand. 

He was beautiful, handsome, perfect. Your perfect ideal of a man. That he had a few years on you did truly not matter. That you had been a mere assistant at Hogwarts when the two of you met didn’t matter. That he was so much more than you could ever hope to become did not matter either. All that mattered was that he loved you and you loved him. 

“(Y/n),” he breathed out as you continued to stroke him and your mouth left harsh kisses along his neck and jaw. You nearly came by the sound of his voice uttering your name with such need and want. “I love you,” you moaned against his skin and he shivered beneath you. You stroked harder, used the tempo he loved and panted into his ear as you asked him to come for you. 

He groaned, tensed, and by your hand, he came undone. You felt such pride, such joy at seeing him unravel beneath you as his face was strained with pleasure and his lips gently parted as he sucked in air to calm himself. “You’re beautiful when you cum,” you whispered as you kissed his cheek with pure love. 

He chuckled and raised his head as his eyes locked with yours. They were such beautiful pits of swirling darkness and gentle stardust that spellbound you without fault each time they gazed into your own. You kissed his thin lips and he moved his hand from your hip to your groin. You shivered with delight as he stroked and graced your aching sex with his harsh hand. 

~Female Gender~

He encircled your clit, stroked it and made you squeeze your eyes shut in delight. His hand and fingers felt so good against your pussy you could barely take the pleasure. “Look at me,” he said gruffly and you did. You looked at him as his fingers danced between your folds and eventually pushed inside you only to be greeted with hot, wet warmth. You moaned in delight as his thumb stroked your clit while his fingers pumped in and out of your opening. Just how you wanted it. 

You bit down on your bottom lip as his eyes held you captive. He wanted to see you, wanted to see all things you felt and enjoy all things he made you feel. He was dominant in his ways with you and you marvelled at his stern command no matter what situation you were in. He made you feel safe and because of that, he could do whatever he pleased with you. 

He pumped you harder, pushed another finger inside as his thumb never relented on the onslaught of your clit. Your muscles were tensing, your hands on his shoulders hardened as you felt your climax arrive with a flurry of moans and gasps. Your body shook as he gently eased you of your high with measured pumps and strokes before his fingers glided out of your clenching pussy and he looked too pleased with himself as you panted and shook where you sat, still straddling him, in the tub. 

~Male Gender~

He encircled your cock, stroked it and made you squeeze your eyes shut in delight. His hand and fingers felt so good against your hardened flesh you could barely take the pleasure. “Look at me,” he said gruffly and you did. You looked at him as his fingers surrounded your erection and started to pump you ever so gently as your heat radiated against his cool palm. You moaned in delight as his thumb stroked your tip while his fingers held a firm grasp of your most delicate body part and stroked you tenderly. Just how you wanted it. 

You bit down on your bottom lip as his eyes held you captive. He wanted to see you, wanted to see all things you felt and enjoy all things he made you feel. He was dominant in his ways with you and you marvelled at his stern command no matter what situation you were in. He made you feel safe and because of that, he could do whatever he pleased with you. 

He pumped you harder, pushed down and pulled up as his thumb never relented on the onslaught of your cocks peak. Your muscles were tensing, your hands on his shoulders hardened as you felt your climax arrive with a flurry of moans and gasps. Your body shook as he gently eased you of your high with measured pumps and strokes before his fingers slipped away from your softening cock and he looked too pleased with himself as you panted and shook where you sat, still straddling him, in the tub. 

~Gender Neutral~

You both were dressed in soft clothes and thick robes after the enjoyable bath. Severus sipped on another cup of coffee while reading a book on the newest potions to hit the market as you sipped on a cup of tea and read a rather outrageous book of love and lust. It was quite enthralling, so enthralling in fact that you forgot about the time. 

It was past three in the afternoon before you looked up from the crisp pages only to see that Severus’s armchair was empty, the book he had been reading laid on the little side table and the sound of cooking were heard from the kitchen. “Shit!” you hissed out as you threw away the blanket you had at some point pulled over your legs and discarded the book only to hurry to the kitchen. 

“Severus, darling, it’s your birthday,” you said as you stepped in and found him busy by the stove. “And?” “You shouldn’t do the cooking,” you said as your arms wrapped around his waist and the delicious smell of boiled chicken with herbs wafted up your nose. He merely chuckled and kept on adding spices to the boiling pot before him. 

“Seriously, I can-” “I’d like to survive this birthday, thank you very much.” You pouted at his words, it’s not like I’ve tried to poison you! He arched a brow and you growled at him. He could sense your annoyance with him. “Last time you almost burned the house down, the time before that you nearly flooded the kitchen, the time before that you almost covered yourself in boiling water and the time before that you tried to serve me some sort of concoction that could probably have killed the devil himself if she consumed it and the time before that-” You threw your hands up in the air. “Alright, alright, I get it. I’m a hazard in the damn kitchen Mr Master Cook!” you spat out with a slight hiss to your voice. But yet again, he merely chuckled. You had to do your darndest not to crack up at his little devil joke either. It was clear the devil was a male by popular opinion but Severus firmly believed the devil had to be a woman - even if neither of you believed in such muggle things. You had had a long discussion on the whole thing though, and you actually agreed with him as he had said 'hell has no fury like a woman scorn and if hell can't compete then the only logical thing is that a female rules it, a woman is the devil'. 

“Honey, love, you are an excellent baker - as long as it doesn’t involve the stove, so just stick with that. I can cook just fine-” “No, you are not just able to perform the task of cooking just fine, you’re fucking brilliant at it and I’m not as good as you, I am well aware Mr Look At Me Cook Like I’m a Master Chef, so don’t-” But you interrupted yourself as he looked at you with a puzzled look. “What?” you spat. Annoyed at his cheerful features. “Well, I think you might have mastered the art of spiteful compliments, love,” he said on a shrug and you had no words after that. He was infuriating at times but by Merlin how you loved him for all his perfections and imperfections. As he did with you.

“Fine, I will stay out of your hair. Do your swish-swash-stirring in peace.” He laughed at you, a rumbling sound that cushioned your heart in clouds of bliss, and gave your forehead a quick kiss before you muttered some choice words under your breath and left the kitchen behind you. 

You ate a while later and Severus poured you a glass of wine before he poured one for himself. It had become somewhat of a tradition. You shared a bottle of wine on his birthday, shared a bottle of cider on your birthday and a small bottle of brandy was shared during Christmas and New Year. Other than those three occasions, you never consumed any alcohol.  

Some found it strange, but you both had your reasons for it. Severus’s father had been a drunk, your (relative) and (relative) had been drunks as well. It ruined families, useless overconsumption of alcohol. Neither of you wanted that so you had your three bottles per year and that was all. In all honesty, it only made the stuff taste better to have it so rarely.

You clinked your glasses and took a sip each. You handed over a little gift to him as you had placed your glass on the table. His eyes widened and a slight smirk covered his thin lips. The gift looked exactly like the one you had given him the first time you ever presented him with such a thing. Only a little bit larger. You blushed ever so slightly as he smiled widely at you with soft and warm eyes. 

“Happy birthday, Severus,” you said and grabbed your glass. He tore open the wrappings, such difference compare to the first time. Perhaps, I have managed to make him confident in the fact he will always receive gifts on his birthday. Perhaps he feels safe in that, perhaps he truly does enjoy his birthday now. Well, no, that’s not a perhaps. I know he does.  

Your thoughts raced through your mind as he was yet again, after twelve years, met with a black box with silver lettering on top that spelt ‘Brelixion’ . The exclusive, expensive shop for potion-making. Not that you had a low income or anything like that anymore. No, both of you could buy most of what you wanted with your own firm doing so well. But still, it was an expensive shop and the object was worth some awe. 

Severus opened the lid and peeked inside. His eyes softened and you felt a gentle warmth curl its way through your veins. He was happy. That was all you wanted. “Love, thank you,” he said gently with that deep voice of his that you loved so much. You were the only one to ever be so fortunate as to hear that gentle sound from between his lips. “Do you like it? It goes with the first one,” you said and he nodded. “I do,” he stated as his eyes went from yours and back to the gift. 

“I shall take it with me at all times,” he stated and you knew he meant for work. It pleased you to hear as you already knew he always had his first gift with him in that leather bag of his that could fit more things than logically possible. Thank you undetectable extension charm, you thought on a light smile. Your mind wandered and in the silence, you pondered on the next little gift you had planned. Well, it wasn’t so much a gift, more like an experience but still. 

The day passed gently, there were a few cards that arrived by owl from around the globe addressed to Severus. Customers, potion masters and old colleagues - old friends even - and you were thrilled for him as he had been such a lonely man a few years back and had so low hopes each time January and his birthday came around. But not anymore. It was all different now. Not only the birthday but he and you as well. Different, the same, but different. 

Darkness had crept in nearly three hours ago and you felt a slight tingle in your body as you gathered your courage to try something new. Something Severus would no doubt find audacious. He’d most likely call you wicked and you truly hoped for that as it was a word he rarely used to describe you, actually, it was only uttered by him if you did something wickedly delightful to him that also surprised him. And you hoped, that this evening, would be such a thing so as to garner such praise. 

“Darling?” you said to get his attention, he hummed a little. “Come to bed with me.” He looked up from his book. “Love, it’s only seven.” “I know,” you smiled out with sparkling eyes and a slight blush across your cheeks. His eyes widened ever so slightly as he raised his brows. He was most likely thinking about the bath you had enjoyed together in the late morning already. But he nodded and you both got up. You ushered him upstairs, saying you’d only be a minute. 

He went upstairs to your bedroom while you headed for the kitchen. In the fridge stood a chocolate cake topped with whipped cream and a few strawberries. ‘Lovely Forty’ was swirled across its top in white chocolate sauce. You grabbed it and put it on the counter. You shed your clothes right there in the kitchen as beneath you wore, well, nothing. “Either he’ll die of laughter or this will go hella good,” you whispered to yourself as you took a steadying breath and placed twelve candles on the cake - one for each birthday you had celebrated with him. 

You walked gently through the house with the cake in your hands, all the candles lit and the light danced across your naked skin. With your foot, you pushed the door open just as Severus had removed his shirt. His socks and slippers were already in a heap on the floor. He stood in only silky, black pyjama pants before you and the sight was quite something. 

“Happy birthday,” you said again and your voice was slightly low as shyness took over for a moment. He arched a brow, his eyes harshly roved over you and the cake for an eternity before a hint of a smile curved his lips and the dark pits that were his beautiful eyes swirled with want. “Happy indeed,” he said for the second time that day and confidence unfurled and bloomed within you as all shyness melted away under his loving gaze. 

There was chocolate everywhere. Literally. In your hair, on your nose, between your legs, on your feet, your elbows and tummy, your shoulder and fingers and knees. Everywhere. You were a chocolate covered mess along with the sheets and Severus seemed to be more than happy to continue making you a complete mess with the cake you had worked hard on. But you had other plans. 

As he was busy licking cake off your inner thigh he did not notice you had reached for your wand, the wand you had cleverly hidden beneath the cake as you walked up many moments ago. You smiled as you flicked your wand, a belt came flying from the nearby wardrobe and in the next moment Severus was bound beneath you with his hands above his head and a look of surprise covered his face. “(Y/n), what in the world are you-” Your messy finger covered his lips as you smiled at him with warmth and yearning. “My turn,” you simply stated and he breathed out harshly through that gorgeous hooked nose of his. 

You had never bound him before, he had bound you but never the other way around. Well, we haven’t ever played with food in the bed before either so, some firsts being crossed. Still, after twelve years we have firsts, the thought made you excited and you removed your messy fingers from his lips that were messy as well. You giggled as he had chocolate on that pretty nose of his and all around his cheeks. You bent down and licked it off. 

With your finger dipped in chocolate from the centre of the cake you began to draw a line, from his chin to his cock. You had to take some new chocolate a few times but in the end, you had a nice little path to travel. “Oh, such a messy mess,” you said as you splattered some extra chocolate over his chest and stomach. He chuckled and sighed at your mischief. “Oh we are wickedly audacious today,” he said and vibrations shot through you from his nearly hoarse voice. The words made you purr. “Guess I’ll have to clean you up, my birthday man…” 

You lowered yourself, your lips graced his jaw and you nibbled between soft kisses. He hummed in delight as you worked your way down. Licking, lapping, kissing and nibbling. “You taste good paired with chocolate,” you purred out against his chest as you ground against his cock that you were sure was nearly painfully hard beneath you as you straddled him. “But it’s nearly a shame to pair such a lovely flavour with something so simple,” you breathed out to take a deliberate pause as you knew your words were ambiguous, “as mundane chocolate.” He took a shaky breath and you gave one of his nipples a hard lick. He bucked and you moaned. 

“I love you,” he whispered as you continued your journey down his stomach, licking and loving him every bit of the way. “And I love you,” you breathed out against his pale skin as you continued to press your tongue against it. You were devouring the chocolate and consumed him fully in your mouth as you arrived at his erection where the line of chocolate ended. “(Y/n).” You smiled as you licked and sucked. His thundering voice that articulated your name was all you needed to hear at that moment. 

You were consumed by lust and love. He was consumed by you until he reached his highest point and released himself with a loud growl of adoration for you and your mouth. It was, for him, one of the greatest birthdays in history. Not because you loved him so audaciously wickedly with cake and licks but because you simply loved him. Fully, wholeheartedly and completely. That was the greatest gift, you by his side through life and you knew it before he ever had to utter the words. 

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[Jan:2021]

[melzula]

The Beginning of the End

pairing: Zuko x Princess! reader

warnings: angst, mentions of death, fluff

summary: in which the Princess learns what became of her father and turns to Zuko for comfort (requested by anon)

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

“Y/n,” your mother calls gently from your doorway. “The ships are leaving, come say goodbye to your father.”

“No.”

“Princess, he’s your father,” she chides gently. “I know you have your differences-“

“Differences?! He forbid me from water bending and he forbid me from ever seeing Zuko again!”

“Little otter penguin, try to understand that your father only has your best interests at heart. He loves you, and if you don’t say goodbye you’re going to regret it.”

“I won’t regret anything,” you insist stubbornly. “Besides, there’s no point in saying goodbye when we both know he’s going to come back.”

The White Lotus campsite is relatively quiet despite the number of members it inhabits, most of them gifting you friendly smiles or passing glances of acknowledgement as you weave through the tents in search of any familiar faces. With Aang having disappeared, you’re only hope in defeating the Fire Lord now rests upon Iroh, hence your group’s presence on the campgrounds. Zuko has left in search of his Uncle, and though you wished to see the kind old man again after having been apart for so long you knew it was something the prince had to do on his own. Besides, you had your own questions that needed answering and didn’t have much time to waste as you sought after any water tribe member who might have information on the whereabouts of your father.

Your search efforts are halted by the hand that rests itself firmly upon your shoulders, and though your first instinct is to pull the water from the air around you in preparation for a fight you’re quick to relax as you see it’s none other than Pakku. An apologetic smile forms on your features as you grant the old man and longtime family friend a tight hug.

“The last time I saw you you were barely learning how to walk, and now here you are pulling water out of thin air like a true bending master,” he comments with a laugh. “It’s good to see you again, y/n.”

“It’s good to see you, too,” you reply with a watery smile before pulling out of the hug to look at the man before you. Your grandfather and Pakku had been good friends in their younger days, and before the war he had often visited to teach water bending to the boys in your tribe, but then your grandfather had died and Pakku stopped coming. It was comforting to see a familiar face, but you were starting to dread the truth that would come with your question. What if it wasn’t what you wanted to hear?

“You’re troubled,” he says carefully, “what can I do to help?”

“My father... Have you heard what’s become of him? Is he back home in the south?”

Pakku’s eyes soften then, sympathetic and remorseful, but he doesn’t answer your question, not right away. Instead he guides you towards your tent and takes you inside to discuss the matter privately. Once you’ve seated yourself on the ground Pakku reaches into his robe and pulls out a familiar item from his sleeve.

“Do you recognize this?”

“Father’s tiger shark tooth necklace,” you murmur quietly as Pakku places the piece of jewelry into your open palm. The tooth is jagged and sharp though worn around the edges from the many years it’s spent hanging from your father’s neck; it was a good luck charm given to him by your mother when they were younger, and he never went anywhere without it. “But I don’t understand...”

It’s the way in which Pakku refuses to meet your gaze that you finally understand, tears beginning to well in your eyes as you clutch the necklace tightly to your chest.

“No...”

“I’m so sorry you had to find out this way,” the man offers weekly before handing you a paper scroll. “Everything you need to know is in this letter. I’ll give you the privacy you need to read it for yourself.”

He leaves you alone to mourn in piece, and despite how desperate you are to know the last words of your father you can’t bring yourself to open the letter. Opening it makes it real, and you don’t think you can face his death. Not now, not when your friends are counting on you to be at your strongest for the arrival of the comet. Your heart is beating rapidly in your ribcage and your vision is blurry with your tears, and this time when a gentle hand rests itself upon your shoulder you collapse against the owner’s chest. Strong arms wrap around your trembling figure and encompass you in a comfortingly familiar warmth as you weep into their chest.

“Pakku sent me,” Zuko utters quietly into your hair. “What is it?”

“My father,” you whisper into the fabric of his robes, “he’s dead. He’s gone and I never even said goodbye.”

“I’m so sorry, Princess,” Zuko comforts gently. “I can’t even imagine what you must be going through right now. Is there any way I can help?”

“There’s a letter,” you sniffle as you pull away from Zuko to wipe away your freshly fallen tears. “I can’t bring myself to read it but I need to know what it says. Would you... would you read it to me?”

“O-Of course,” he replies quickly before scrambling to open the letter as you situate yourself to sit in between his legs with your back resting against his chest. With his arms around your waist and the letter held in front of the two of you, Zuko’s gentle voice slowly begins to morph into that of your father’s as you shut your eyes and listen.

“Princess,

I don’t have much time left on this earth, and I know the chances of seeing you again before my time is up are slim, so I’ve taken to writing this letter in hopes that all of your questions will be answered when I’m gone. I’ve been badly wounded in battle and with no healers available it will only be a matter of time before I pass on from this life to the next. But know that I am sorry. I’m sorry for making you become someone you weren’t, for forcing you to change when you didn’t want to, and for not being open enough to listen to your needs. I was blinded by my anger with the Fire Lord and I took it out on you and that poor boy. Love is a complicated thing, you cannot choose or help who you fall in love with, and perhaps if I had remember that then I wouldn’t have forced you to run away.

We all have a destiny in life and leaving was part of yours. There’s a greater world out there for you to explore; a good leader requires knowledge, and as future leader of the Southern Water Tribe it is your duty to obtain it. Learn to love, learn to be brave, learn to be kind, and learn to be forgiving. We didn’t get to say goodbye and that’s alright, we’ll have our time together again in the next life, so don’t let this slow you down. I know you’re going to do great things, my sweet daughter. I’ll always be with you in spirit, and you’ll always have my support. It is an honor to be your father, my brave little water bender.

It’s all up to you now. With love, your father Tukon.”

The air is silent as your father’s voice fades away and all that is left behind is the sound of your quiet sniffling and Zuko’s gentle breathing. You want to cry but for some reason the tears don’t come, and instead being filled with devastating loss and regret you are filled with a small warmth that fills your heart with love and appreciation. Your father is with you now, you can feel it, and in this moment that is enough.

“Thank you,” you murmur quietly, showing your gratitude to both your father and Zuko as he holds you close to his chest in the safety of your tent.

~~~

You wake to the smell of freshly cooked porridge, a smiling Zuko sitting beside your bed as he holds the bowl of breakfast in his hands to maintain its warmth while you rise.

“Good morning,” his raspy voice greets you. “How are you feeling?”

Memories from the previous night flood back to you all at once, and your boyfriend doesn’t miss the way in which you immediately reach up to clasp the tiger shark tooth hanging from your neck tightly in your hand. Tears begin to well in your eyes but you manage to keep them at bay, instead choosing to look upon Zuko with a fragile smile.

“I’ll be okay.”

“Did you sleep okay? I had Suki look after you while you slept so I could speak with my Uncle.”

“How is he?” You ask, features perking up with interest. A small smile forms on Zuko’s lips as he leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead.

“He’s fine, and we’re okay. He’s eager to see you again. But you need to eat first, we all have a big day ahead of us,” Zuko instructs before handing you your breakfast. “Uncle says I need to reclaim the throne, and to do that I have to face off against Azula. But I can’t do it alone, so I’d like you and Katara to join me.”

It’s silent for a moment as you digest both the yummy porridge and the information Zuko has bestowed upon you. You had a feeling this day would come, and despite the apprehension you hold when it comes to fighting his deranged sister you know there’s no other option.

Your father’s words echo in your head: “Learn to be brave.” A beat passes before you finally nod.

“I’ve been wanting to put her in her place ever since she beheaded my favorite doll,” you admit with a wry smile. “I’d be honored to help you.”

“Get dressed,” Zuko says then, rising from his place beside your bed to give you the space you need to prepare. We leave in ten minutes.”

And so begins the end of the war.

| tags: @rainteslerrrr @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @coldlilheart @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @zukh03s @titaniafire @dekahg @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @lozzybowe @izzieserra @melacholy @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @djskfkdkkf @xapham @yeetletzgetitjae @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal |

[mythicamagic]

Yang x MC Oneshot: The Red Crane

Summary: The Lao Shu mafia boss is looking for a certain woman- his woman- to be exact. (Not as AU as you might think) Yang x Liliana oneshot.

Rated M for smut 

3,000 words

AN: Part of this was originally a rp between me and my friend LadyDiana2000, but I've reworked and extended it into a oneshot. As always you can read this on Ao3 or fanfiction.net via the same username.

Warning: Smut, and the usual themes found in Yang's route aka references to human trafficking.

The Red Crane

The State-Operated Casino in Burlone had been deemed 'neutral ground' for the three deadly mafia families constantly engaged in turf wars. The Falzones barely indulged there due to its leader's distaste, but it was frequently visited by the Visconti and Lao Shu alike, along with regular citizens.

Of course, due to its popularity, copycats popped up everywhere in different territories. Many tried to capture its feel and opulence, but few succeeded.

One such unsavoury copycat lurked in the innermost depths of Lao Shu territory, behind far too many back allies to ever be relevant; The White Crane.

A little tidbit the locals didn't know- or frankly didn't care about- was that its female staff had been provided through underhanded means. Human trafficking valued foreign girls highest, so it was only natural the casino house exotic looking women.

The gambling room was located underground in a transformed basement, drunk men observing the girls. Some were on a cramped stage as entertainment, others waitressing. This newest batch had arrived together, and after a few failed escape attempts and punishments- they'd been shaken enough to be potentially wonderful gifts or products to sell on.

Liliana had never intended to get mixed up with mafia men or human trafficking. One second she'd been enjoying Italy's fine streets, heading towards down an alley- the next…

She shuddered, wiping down a table. Rough hands had grabbed her, snatching her away. She seemed to have been a spur-of-the-moment kidnapping.

Escape proved futile from the seedy casino. Guards were posted outside, and though unsteady with too much liquor in their system, they always overpowered her.

Green eyes dimmed, hazed by the thick smog of cigar smoke.

She'd been fortunate enough to avoid the territory's overabundant drug use, but that could easily change.

I miss you, Elena, Sister Sophia. I hope the children are alright.

It felt like such a long amount of time had passed since she'd seen them- since she'd last glimpsed decent sunlight not smeared by grimy glass.

Glancing at a kiseru pipe held within an older gentleman's hand, she shook herself, continuing with the day's chores.

Have I been forgotten?

----

It's after hours and early in the morning when the owner unexpectedly asked the girls to stay. Usually they'd go to sleep after tidying up. He smiled, standing within the empty casino room. "The time has come for one of you to leave the nest, little songbirds."

The girls shifted anxiously, having sat down in a section of old chaises and lounges. "What does that mean?" one asked.

"Surely you've wondered why you were all brought in here at the same time? Staff are kept in rotation, you see. We need new faces every few months or so. It's just good business. Eventually all of you will be bought or gifted. In this case, one of you will be a gift to the Lao Shu mafia. I hear their leader is without a woman right now."

The door to the basement swung open soundlessly- a man leisurely wandering down white steps.

Liliana stiffened, becoming still as a statue.

"Ah- signore Yang. I didn't think you'd be here so early."

"Mn," a man wearing a fine green changshan ignored the owner, gaze half-lidded. He lowered himself into a seat facing the cluster of women, taking out an ornate pipe and lighting it. Long red hair spilt from broad shoulders- some strands having been tied into a sloppy braid. Liliana's fingers twitched, experiencing an urge to fix it.

"From the looks on their faces, I assume they know the situation," he drawled, flashing his teeth in a mockery of a smile, golden eyes icy cold. As the leader of the Chinese mafia based in Burlone, people knew his name, but he wasn't widely known to the public eye.

"That's the boss of the Lao Shu?" a girl, Victoria, leaned in close to Liliana.

"Yes- but I'm not sure why he'd come here himself," she whispered back, hands drawing into loose fists on her dusty skirts.

Yang watched them watch him, taking a drag from his pipe and exhaling a cloud of curling smoke. "There's not much atmosphere here tonight... give them alcohol if they want it, they look foolish sitting there empty-handed," he addressed the owner.

He nodded, "Chie, would you-"

"No," Yang cut in. "They're busy with me right now. You take their orders. Nothing too expensive, mind."

Miraculously, the owner nodded with the briefest flash of fear, clearly not wanting to displease him.

Some of the girls ordered, though Liliana declined softly, wanting her mind unclouded.

"We'd probably look less foolish if we knew what you wanted," she spoke up, thankful her voice didn't shake. "We were just told something about being 'gifted' a moment before you came in, sir."

"I see."

He'd been collected since the moment he'd walked in, but his eyes unexpectedly burned the second they locked onto her, stealing Liliana's breath. Twin hooks glinted- secured at his hip. "Well, the weaselly owner of this cesspool is going to gift one of you to me," he spoke in a rich cadence, lifting a shoulder lazily. "I'm sure he intends for me to pick at random but I'm not particularly interested in that. If you want to come with me, then speak up," he uttered, accepting a glass of red wine without acknowledging the owner.

"Get on with it, then," one of the more jaded women sneered.

Yang's eyes slide to her. He gazed silently, with such deep, cold apathy.

Like a hawk assessing prey, Liliana stilled. Those tiger-like, vibrant eyes slid shut as he smiled indulgently, "I'm going to tell you now, I cannot abide those who refuse to understand anything. For example...the position they're in," he shot the woman a deadly smirk.

He took a sip, tilting his head consideringly. "You could entertain my men and be passed around, or become my woman, and everything that encompasses."

The implication is startling. Mafia had prostitutes, but he was offering something usually reserved for girlfriends.

This grabbed the attention of many of the girls, though Liliana reddened and glanced away. "Is this a conscious choice?" Amira asks. "Do we say- Yes, I want to be your woman, and that's that? Or are there hurdles you expect us to jump through first, only to be prostituted?"

"No hurdles. That's that," he mimicked, lips curving sharply. "Mn... but it would be unfair not to warn you of my nature. I get bored easily," he drawled. "If you abandon any effort to think for yourself, if you tell me 'I don't know anything' or 'tell me everything'... I will assume your brain is mere decoration. You will become worth less than nothing to me."

"And if that happens, you won't let us go," Liliana murmured, meeting his gaze unflinchingly. She wondered how long this farce would last for, lips thinning.

Yang hummed, expression unreadable as he squinted. "You're skinny," he observed bluntly.

Heat abruptly burst to her cheeks, "I like to share my meals with other people if they ask for seconds!" she felt the need to defend.

"And you went hungry instead? What a soft mindset," he gave a mocking smirk as though unable to comprehend the notion. "I'll feed you, plenty."

The way he said it sounded strangely inappropriate, and she swiftly dropped her gaze, exhaling shakily. His aura was intense- attention feeling heavy. Her thighs pressed together.

Yang took another drag of his kiseru, seeming to enjoy himself. He suddenly noticed something, motioning to Lucrecia. "Woman. Come here a moment."

Lucrecia paled but dutifully stood, padding over with visible trepidation on her face. "Yes?"

His pipe lifted, propping up the ribbon on her shoulder, gazing at it. Golden eyes gleamed. "Are you Hui's plaything?"

She swallowed, stuttering. "I... I don't think so? I just attend to his drinks and food orders," she explained. "The ribbon is something he tied onto me- so that he could monopolise my time."

It wasn't the complete truth, Hui had propositioned her many times. Lili stiffened, gripped by something that heated her blood.

Yang hummed, drawing closer to invade her personal space. "That so?" he purred, voice dropping. "Because if you were Lee's woman, I'd take you just to piss him off," he flashed a sharp-toothed grin.

"Let her go," Liliana burst, standing from her seat. Silence filled the room immediately, her heart hammering loudly in her ribcage.

Ah...

Searing, half-lidded eyes pinned her in place, dragging sensually down her form. Sweat beaded on her brow.

"Are you going to wait around all night or will you finally voice your desire to come with me?" a silky chuckle caressed her hearing, Yang's amusement palpable.

Liliana bristled, biting her lip. Lucrecia's distressed features were enough to draw her forward. "I'm not interested in being your pawn, but yes. I would like to leave this place. Please stop toying with Lucrecia needlessly."

Releasing her friend without another word- a tattooed hand darted out.

Squeaking, Liliana felt herself be tugged down roughly. Prying her eyes open, she shifted on his lap, an iron grip holding her around the waist. Sturdy thighs cushioned her legs- his chest solid with muscle despite his tapered waist.

She opened her mouth to say more- before a mouth pressed to hers. He forced a deep, long kiss against startled lips- tongue brushing against hers, swallowing her muffled noises.

Blushing hotly, Lili tried to ignore their audience, pressing her palms against his chest and shoving to no avail. She couldn't help but return the kiss, stifling less than innocent noises.

Yang chuckled and nipped her bottom lip, scraping sharp teeth over soft flesh while pulling away. "Women usually pretend to be completely enamoured by me," he whispered playfully. "But your glaring eyes aren't unattractive."

"I'm sure you'll receive plenty of glares from me in due course," she panted, cheeks stained red. Green eyes flashed and narrowed, shakily wiping her mouth.

A slow, pleased smile curved his lips, directing his attention to the waiting owner. "I think this one will prove entertaining," he stood.

"Oh! I'm glad!" the man bowed. "Please accept this humble offering. We hope it demonstrates our loyalty to the Lao Shu."

"There's just one thing," Yang sighed with dismay, grasping the hilt of one of his weapons. He lifted it, resting the curve of the hook beneath Lili's chin, metal cool on her skin. Green eyes remained calm, gazing at him quietly.

Yang almost seemed to gentle- just for a moment- before continuing with a playful lift to his voice. "If you're so loyal to us- I assume you didn't mean to steal something that belonged to me."

"W-what?"

A disappointed look crossed Yang's cruel, handsome features. He tilted his head, earring catching the lamplight. "Now that is a pity. I half hoped you'd had the balls to do it on purpose. Never mind," his palm planted against Liliana's back- shoving.

"Wait outside."

Gaping, Liliana stumbled forward. Shooting the girls a worried look, she tried to convey her fear for them, fluttering her hand slightly.

Please get down. Duck for safety. Escape!

Some of them seemed confused, while others caught on, becoming tense.

Hitching blue skirts up and taking the stairs two at a time, Liliana hurried, flinching at a brilliant blaze of colour and light.

She glanced back just once- witnessing Yang swing his hooks down- cleaving through muscle, sinew and bone like butter. Women cried out with horror as the owner collapsed, choking on his own blood.

Fresh air caught in her throat, and Liliana breathed in greedily, lungs protesting as she kept moving.

Multiple swaths of pinks, purples and reds painted the skies, sunset a burning hue on the horizon beyond tiled roofs.

It felt so good to be above ground.

The second she'd managed to race out onto the streets- the guards caught wind of the horror downstairs, drawing their guns and descending into the basement.

Liliana steadied herself against a wall in an alley, hearing rapid gunfire.

Pressing a hand to her mouth, salty tears of relief and worry for her companions welled up. They slid down rosy cheeks, eyes squeezing shut.

She could've run. Seized the opportunity to flee due to the chaos downstairs. Return to the church.

But she knew he'd pursue her.

Hearing footsteps draw closer over cobbled ground, Liliana sobbed, vision blurry as she looked up. But...that wasn't quite the truth. A part of her didn't want to leave this person either.

Yang lowered his bloodied weapon off one shoulder, crimson staining his clothes. Not one injury marred him, as per the norm.

"T-the girls," she managed to choke out.

"It appears they made it out alive," he drawled uncaringly, stepping closer.

"You didn't have to play around like that," she hiccuped, glaring. "Pretending not to know me..."

"Since you're partly to blame for causing my boredom over the past few weeks, a little roleplaying isn't much punishment."

Lili opened her mouth to reply- only to feel hands grab her head, a mouth slanting over hers. The clang of metal bouncing against stone indicated he'd dropped his hook. Shuddering, Liliana pressed herself against him, gasping against his lips and feeling a fresh wave of tears overcome her.

Yang backed her into a wall, body caging her against it, drawing hungry lips down to her neck to place open-mouthed kisses there- biting down.

Jolting, Liliana mewled, gripping him tight. "Y-Yang," she wanted him closer, burying her face in his shoulder.

"I tore Veleno apart looking for you," he hissed in her ear, nipping it. "And some of the other territories. I wondered if the Falzones had finally stolen their precious maiden back- but no. The piss-poor, fucking White Crane 'casino' was holding you. It's precious, really."

Though he smiled jaggedly, Lili could feel his temper spike, coiling tense muscles tighter. His blood-lust hadn't been sated.

She endeavoured to sway it into a different kind of lust.

"I thought..." she mumbled, kissing his chin. "I thought you might've forgotten me."

His tongue ran over the shell of her ear, hands roaming. "Obviously getting kidnapped has hindered your intelligence. I don't let go of my things," he smirked. "Especially not a woman who can glare like a cat. Besides- you returned to me willingly, Lili," fingers marked with intricate tattoos glided over her hip. "You chose to be my woman in there. It's too late to pretend otherwise~"

Her shoulders dropped with relief. Stroking a hand through soft, brilliant red hair, she breathed in his spicy, masculine scent. Her hips bucked of their own accord, a sigh fell from her lips, feeling him grind against her in return.

"Yang-" she breathed, tugging at his hair as he sucked on her collarbone, hand worming between them. "Not here-" a noise escaped her throat, shuddering.

Tattooed fingers pressed and glided against her clit, hidden beneath layers of skirts.

Lifting herself from the haze of pleasure they elicited, Liliana pushed against his chest insistently. With a hiss, Yang ripped his hand away and grabbed her around the waist, retrieving his weapon before leaving the alley.

They didn't make it to the Lao Shu base.

Stumbling as far as the dimly lit docks, Yang tugged her beneath the harsh shade of a boardwalk. The tide was out, allowing Liliana to fall back, cushioned by cool sands.

He gripped her stockings and yanked- ripping a large seam over her sex to allow access. Liliana opened her arms- cradling him close as Yang sank inside her without fanfare or preparation. Lili gasped, wet enough- but needing to adjust to his size once more.

"Did anyone else touch you?" he breathed, eyes half-lidded yet blazing with liquid heat.

"No- no one."

"Good," their breaths intermingled. "Otherwise I'd regret killing them so quickly."

He tugged her dress down just enough to expose a breast, firm grip squeezing it roughly. The way Yang's pupils dilated with every shaky moan she gave made her want to drown him in screams. Liliana clutched at broad shoulders in a death grip as he began moving, rolling lean hips with quick, hard movements.

She hitched her leg, throwing it over his waist- back arching as nails scraped her thigh. His free hand settled at the base of her throat, squeezing slightly.

"I think you owe me an apology," he purred.

"Pardon?- ah!"

Yang gave a rough thrust- cock hitting a spot deep inside that had her choking on a gasp while he simultaneously gave another squeeze. "You know why."

Blunt teeth grit, breath wheezing as he controlled her oxygen flow, cunt clenching hard around him in response. "I'm...sorry, for leaving Lan and Fei," she panted. "I just wanted to quickly check on Luca in town- gn!"

She keened loudly as his other hand played with her sensitive nipple, and threw her head back as Yang began to kiss down her jaw.

"That's a good girl," cold fire brightened his gaze. "Apology- hah- accepted. You were probably sharing food again, hm? That's just like you."

He kissed her hard, using his grip to keep her in place as she shivered with a broken moan. He tasted sweet, rich and decadent and she needed more, opening her mouth just enough for him to force his tongue in.

Yang moved more fluidly, hips undulating against hers with deep, deliberate thrusts. Lili marvelled at his frankly dishevelled look. They never broke eye-contact, bodies plastered together as they made harsh marks into the sand.

They both breathed heavily, the air between them hazy. Lili felt herself getting close, squeezing around him like a vice.

"Liliana," Yang caressed the syllables of her name like a hushed, sinful word. He knew it affected her, and wielded it like any other weapon. "Grip me harder, Liliana. Don't you want me to feel it when you experience rapture?"

Whining, she found purchase on the nape of his neck- digging blunt nails in and dragging them down, feeling him gasp, hips spasming- knocking her own release out of her like a thunderclap.

"Yang!"

He grunted, choking on a dark laugh as he came, releasing inside her. He abandoned her neck in favour of gripping blonde hair- tugging it to yank her head back- a bruising kiss pressing against rosy, open lips.

"Never a dull moment, hm?" Yang chuckled breathlessly, eyes dancing.

Laying in a daze, Liliana could barely formulate words, feeling him pool inside her- their combined juices leaking down her thighs as he pulled out. She knew she'd just traded one cage for another. That this person- this murderer- was just as dark and terrible as the men who had kidnapped her.

And yet, whether it existed or not- Lili imagined she could see it. A fondness in his cruel gaze. She wanted to be kept by him. It didn't make logical sense, but she felt it didn't need to. Yang was a being of impulse, instinct and indulgence. The more he touched her, the more Liliana sank down into the depths of where he resided.

Red cheeks flushed a darker shade of rouge. God forgive me, but I think I'm in danger of loving this awful man.

With a sharp grin, Yang abruptly flipped her over onto her hands and knees, ripping skirts aside and raising her ass- entering her from behind.

"Ah-! A-again? So soon?" she squeaked, moaning.

"What are you talking about? Playtime usually runs into a few sessions," a velvety chuckle resounded in her ear. "Now spread yourself wide, Lili. I want to feel your lungs compress as I hammer into you from behind. That sounds entertaining, doesn't it?"

Lili squeezed her eyes shut, heart thudding wildly. Trembling knees shifted in the sand, dragging apart.

Yes, it does.

[theladyismyshepard]

Sacrifice with Myra please?

I’m terribly sorry if it seemed like I put you on the back burner, but I’m finally getting back into the flow of things after the slight disappointment of the redhead reveal from ign, and I’m happy to give you more Myra! I got a Cassandra coming next 👀

Poor, Sweet, Innocent Thing You

Warning: Heavy Angst

Leaves were budding along the tree branches as spring brought life back to the frigid earth that winter had stolen from. The temperature still dropped by nightfall, but the frost was on its way to melting in time for the wildlife to arise once more and roam the forest surrounding Castle Dimitrescu.

A rabbit poked its head out from a hole that was hidden away by a fine layer of snow. It was quickly twitching its nose in interest as it investigated the area. The atmosphere must have been safe enough because the rabbit was soon emerging.

Thwack!

An arrow embedded into the side of the animal the moment it was exposed, and luckily it was dead when you slowly took your time approaching it — You always hated having to put poor creatures out of their misery.

A wild giggle echoed throughout the trees that surrounded you, but you did not look up, you refused to acknowledge her. Instead, you dropped the bow and arrow in your hands to attend to the carcass laid out in front of you, your eyes trained and unswayed, but also unfocused as a memory glazed over them.

The wind was howling quite violently for a sunny day, and you couldn't help but to berate yourself for leaving your cloak behind. You were sure to grab your hunting gear in preparation, but with how swiftly you were scrambling around, it was well within your character to accidentally forget something along the way.

You had already trekked deep enough into the woods that it would be ridiculous to turn back, so you pressed on in search of your prey. It made you grimace when you thought of animals in such a way, but then again... with where you live, you've seen actual people turned into nothing more than prey. You forced yourself to dispel the thought, and instead chose to think about what (or who) had you out there.

Myra.

You blinked down at your handiwork, almost disappointed that you were already finished; You needed something to keep your hands busy so that maybe your mind wouldn't be working so hard. After releasing a sigh, you slung your bow and arrow over your shoulder, gathered up what parts you salvaged from the rabbit, and walked away aimlessly.

You didn't have a thought in mind, or a care to feel... your legs just carried you forward. You could see the castle looming on the horizon, the spires looking as though they protruded into the clouds above. Depending on who you asked, Castle Dimitrescu wasn't exactly an inviting place, but there once was a time when you had felt welcomed and giddy at the mere sight of it alone.

You couldn't help the bright smile that overtook your features by thinking of your girlfriend. You wanted to be quick with your hunt this time seeing as Myra was indulging you by experimenting with something new, and you didn't want to keep her waiting. You kept your footing light enough to barely leave prints of your own, but you also took wider steps to cover more ground.

For all of the Dimitrescu's flaws, you had to admire the amity between the family. They even shared the same meal time seeing as they preferred to feast together. It was when they had extended the same invitation to you that you felt your heart swell so big that it almost felt too confined in your chest...

But then it deflated so quick that it left you sick. Did... did they expect you to be dining on the same food as them? Surely they knew that despite your acceptance of their lifestyle, you couldn't actually partake in it yourself... A gentle hand touched your shoulder, tapping it to get your attention.

"I know what you're thinking, and you are just too cute, my love." said Myra, already giggling.

"Though it isn't completely off the table," drawled Cassandra, her smile wolfish.

"I would never ask you to eat what we eat.” Myra assured, sending her sister a glare. “I was thinking of the complete opposite in fact.”

The two simultaneous gags from her sisters had you furrowing your brow, not quite connecting the dots.

“Instead of eating from the livest- humans... I want you to feel comfortable when you’re with us, so I thought maybe... I could feed from... well... actual livestock.” explained Myra uncomfortably.

You were dumbstruck for a moment, blinking at her, and once senses returned to you, you could detect the hesitation that had Myra fidgeting in place. What was common for you had become foreign to her and her family, and it almost left you baffled that she sought out your approval. The sheepish grin lured you in and had you grabbing both sides of her face to pull her in for a kiss.

Your mouth was in a firm line as you brought yourself back to reality. There was no movement on the outside premises, but you knew better than some that looks can be deceiving. Especially with the blood that was dripping and forming a circle by your side.

You could hear someone calling out to you, and for a split second, you reflexively crane your neck to look around before you caught yourself. The familiar voice was yelling out your name, and you’ve heard it so many times and came running, but this time, you had to turn away.

Eventually her voice died off, giving up and letting you go. You find that you couldn’t really bring yourself to look at the castle anymore, but you were on a mission.

“You would do that for me?” you whispered against Myra’s lips, unwilling to pull away too far.

“I would do anything for you.” insisted Myra, her eyes earnest. “So, tell me, my love... what’s for dinner?”

And that was what had you flying out the door so fast you left your cloak behind. You had assured her that you would do something special in return — You would go out and hunt for her. It seemed like a good idea at the time, completely heroic if not totally romantic... but then you realized that you couldn’t exactly haul back large enough game to quench the thirst she had described to you once, not if you traveled too far out of the area.

Leaves and twigs crunched beneath swift feet, and it snapped your attention to the left. You blinked at the rabbit that was sitting on its back legs, sniffing at the air. After a brief argument with yourself, you decided that Myra could at least try rabbit and see what she thought.

And after another hour of digging deeper into the forest and another one of sitting and waiting, you decided to call it, and slink back with your tail between your legs and nothing more than a measly rabbit to offer. Obviously hunting was more of the Dimitrescu’s thing, and it felt embarrassing that you had to admit that to her... well, her sisters really.

But it was getting far too late, and you know how Myra didn’t particularly like you wandering outside the castle at night. As you began retracing your steps, you finally realized that you wandered far enough into the woods that you found yourself nearing the familiar tree line to the village.

Your breath got caught in your throat as you realized the implications of being seen lurking in the trees. As far as the villagers knew, you had been abducted by the infamous Dimitrescu family, and died off in the castle. It probably wouldn’t go over well to prove them wrong.

Just as you felt you were in the clear, you heard a gun cocking behind you, and it had you instantly frozen on the spot. You couldn’t even turn around to face the one pointing a weapon at you, even when a gruff voice demanded you to do so.

Something collided with the back of your head, hard. It left you stunned as you dropped to your knees, your equilibrium jarred, your skull throbbing, and your ears ringing.

“You not know how to listen?”

A rough hand grabbed you by the neck of your shirt, harshly pulling you back. Your eyes closed of their own accord, so you heard his gasp of surprise rather than watched his reaction.

“Hey, I know you!” the man exclaimed, and you couldn’t say the same about him. “You was that one who went missin’ awhile back!”

You had to resist the urge to roll your eyes. If you counted right, there were a lot of people who had gone missing from the village.

“We all thought you was dead! How did you escape after all this time?!”

Frustration left you with the inability to speak, not that you had a proper answer anyway. How could you possibly explain that you weren’t exactly held captive? You didn’t even want to think of his reaction if you were to tell him you had went and fallen in love with a Dimitrescu.

Just from the way the man was getting visibly irritated by your silence, you could tell he was middle aged. You wondered if he had lived in the village his whole life... You wondered if he had lost a daughter to your lover’s family.

“You not know how to speak either?” He spat sourly. “Jeez, what have they done to you?”

“Nothing!” you finally shouted, giving him a start. “They didn’t do a goddamn thing to me!”

“We best be getting you back to the village, I think you’ve got a couple screws loose.” He insisted while looking at you like you grew a second head.

“No!”

Your hand clenched into a fist at your side, the sack of rabbit meat and pelt in your hand long forgotten. You swallowed past the lump that formed in your throat, and forced yourself to step through the gate that enclosed the castle.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see red hair shining in the sunlight, but again, you refused to turn and look in her direction as you continued deeper onto the Dimitrescu property. You didn’t even need to pay attention to know where your feet were leading you, it was a reflex now.

It felt as though there were eyes upon you, but when you turned to inspect every window pane that your eyes could see, you couldn’t place a single shadow. You knew better than that though... They were always watching. They knew your routine by now. Instead of succumbing to the heat of the gazes, you marched along the pathway that your repeated footsteps were slowly forming, blood dripping and marking your trail at your side.

You couldn’t fight against the older man and his gun once you shouted your resistance. He had it cocked and pointed directly at your head the moment you started getting fussy. All you could do was raise your hands, hanging rabbit carcass and all, and comply when he beckoned you through the tree line and towards the outskirts of the village.

All the faces that used to be so familiar and friendly were nothing more than a cruel reminder that you weren’t home... The jaws that dropped, the eyes that widened, it all meant nothing to you, not when their concerns were unwarranted. Not when the villagers were keeping you from your girlfriend.

You glared at the older man who still had his gun pointed at you, even as a crowd swarmed around the two of you, questions flying at a hundred miles a minute. It left you lightheaded and overwhelmed as your irritation mounted, and it took everything you had to prevent yourself from covering your ears just to block out the noise.

“Thomas!” a woman exclaimed, tone already reprimanding. “Put that damned weapon away, you’re scaring the poor thing!”

The older man, Thomas, narrowed his eyes, his index finger never leaving the trigger.

“I don’t think somethin’s right with this one.” said Thomas slowly, eyeing you up and down. “Didn’t exactly act like you wanted to come home, did ya?”

“This isn’t my home.” You shot back defiantly, ignoring the several gasps that it prompted. “You put a gun to my head and dragged me here!”

“You should know better than anyone that some precautions come with the territory. Hell, if you were as cautious as I was, maybe ya wouldn’t’ve gotten yourself taken!” Thomas bit back.

If this man didn’t stop talking soon, you were afraid your eyeballs would permanently be stuck mid-eye roll. If this man didn’t stop talking soon, you were afraid that the uncertain mumbling surrounding you would grow into displeasure fast. Hell, the woman who scolded Thomas before had already given up.

“So what is it that you plan on doing exactly?” You drawled.

“That’s true, Thomas, what crime has been committed? It looks like you interrupted a mere hunt to me.” Another villager — the baker —spoke up, eyeing the rabbit in your hand.

“If they haven’t done a “goddamn thing” to you,” sneered Thomas, quoting you from before, and ignoring the baker altogether. “Then why haven’t ya returned? Where did you go?”

There was another wave of murmurs, and suddenly the group was growing in size, some were even armed.

“Where were all of you?” You countered almost desperately, attempting anything to get the sudden spotlight off of yourself. “Did any of you even try to look for me?”

The reactions were split. Some looked away in shame while others looked unimpressed, Thomas being the ringleader.

“Of course we did.” said Thomas smugly. “We did our job of lookin’, and you were too busy enjoyin’ yourself it seems.”

You closed your eyes, feeling defeated when you heard the group swaying in Thomas’ favor. You could hardly hate him for his argument, he was kinda right... You did find that you enjoyed yourself a little too much for a person in a house full of blood and death. It almost didn’t seem fair that you were loved so much... that you were the only one special enough to be chosen to live while others screamed and cried below you.

“How do you explain that?” taunted Thomas, arching an eyebrow, and the crowd was chiming in as well now.

“Easily,” supplied a smooth voice, cutting through the rambling and effectively shutting them up. “My pet is under a spell and under my control.”

Your eyes darted to Myra, wide and frantic. What was she doing here? She knew it was dangerous to approach the village before twilight and with so many armed and angry villagers in one spot no less! You couldn’t count the amount of flaming torches on one hand, and you knew these people weren’t above burning their problems alive (or dead?).

“No!” You insisted, trying to push forward to get to her, but multiple arms looped around you and pulled you tight. “Myra!”

“So you admit it!” shouted Thomas, an accusatory finger pointed directly at your girlfriend, though you could tell by the tremble that he wasn’t as confident talking big game to her as he was to you.

“I think I just did, yes,” said Myra slowly, like she were speaking with a child. “Now you would be doing yourselves a great favor in releasing my pet to me.”

Myra had her arm extended, and that’s when you noticed that she had brought along your cloak that you had left behind. You felt your eyes watering and you couldn’t describe what you were feeling, there was too much happening.

The arms encircling you pulled you back almost protectively now. Like they thought you were ill and needed comfort... the fools. The only sickness to befall you was lovesick, and you know you aren’t under any sort of influence. Yet, the villagers still put a boundary between you and Myra.

It couldn’t block your view of the acceptance evident in her eyes as hers met yours. There was love there, and you know what she’s doing for you. She was willing to fight until either she slaughtered the entire village, or was slaughtered herself. How could she possibly win when there were multiple guns trained on her? Her skills and her ability to transform would only get her so far without her family to support her.

“You’ve been a good pet... I would love rabbit tonight.”

Myra looked deep into your eyes even as the villagers began throwing insults and names at her. They softened and she gave you that smile that you loved waking up and falling asleep to.

Before her form dissolved into a swarm of insects that attacked the village. There were shouts and gasps that turned into screams as her insects dug into their flesh and attacking from the inside out. The arms let you go and you weren’t sure where to run to or what to do in general, so you ran to where she had appeared, grabbing your cloak in the process.

People were flailing about, some were swinging in a futile attempt at fighting back. One of the villagers saw an insect crawling on his arm and swatted at it, effectively crushing it. Your eyes widened, as did several of the other villagers.

“Kill them all!” announced Thomas, smacking the ones crawling on his body, underneath his clothes.

The crowd roared their approval and those holding torches swung them valiantly through the air, singing and catching the swarm ablaze before your very eyes.

“Myra!” You shrieked, heart shattering in your chest, leaving you unable to breathe past the shards.

The remaining insects bit into your own skin, and you couldn’t help but flinch back, but she was relentless, pushing you away and away and away.

You collapsed next to the little grave you had made for Myra in the back of Castle Dimitrescu, one of the many hideaways that you two shared together. There was a simple piece of wood that you had stuck into the ground after you had carved her name in the neatest handwriting you had ever possessed. You covered the piece of wood with the cloak she had brought all the way out to you. It was all snuggled in.

You placed the rabbit gently onto the ground before the marker, and stared out into nothing, your eyes blurring no matter how many times you blinked.

“I can’t stop hearing your voice.” You choked out. “I hear you calling all the time... When I turn, you’re never there.”

A tear fell. And then another. And soon they were pouring and you couldn’t stop them until you were full blown sobbing.

“I see you out the corner of my eye, but I’ve learned to stop looking.” You cried, curling into yourself.

Time wasn’t healing this wound, it was merely festering and getting infected as you left it untreated. You’re finding that it’s impossible to get over Myra, not that you were even trying to. Your eyes cut to the multiple discarded bags that you had brought to her grave.

She had told you she had wanted rabbit that night... you had to make sure you were prepared if she were ever to come back and stop taunting you from the trees.

[justafandomfollower]

Thoughts on Stargirl S02E01

Season 2 is here! So, I watched the first episode last night and, while I don’t often do this for TV shows I watch, wanted to share/write up my thoughts about the episode. I mean, overall, I thought it was really good and I was grinning like a loon to see the familiar characters back onscreen. But, more than that, I had some thoughts on individual characters.

First, I really really liked the way they handled Courtney’s “overworking” as Stargirl. A lot of other shows would have the debate about how being Stargirl is dangerous and she’s just a teenager, etc., etc. But they hashed that out last season, and they’re not bringing it up again here, which should be the bare minimum but ends up just being refreshing. Pat never says she needs to put away the staff (except for that last bit where he grounds her, and even that’s temporary). Instead, he cautions her to find a balance between the superhero and non-superhero parts of her life, to pass her classes, get good grades, get some sleep, learn to take breaks every now and again, and think about her future.

I do think Courtney will ultimately be proven right about the threats that are out there (I mean, duh, we saw Cindy and Eclipso right there), but nothing Pat said was wrong, or telling her that there were no threats. So, yeah. Big fan of that part. As for Green Lantern’s daughter, while Courtney was her usual “act first, think later” self, I also kind of can’t blame her, because someone did sneak into their house and steal important JSA relics. There were faults on both sides here.

The rest of my thoughts I’ve thrown under a read-more because it’s long and rambling:

I’m pretty solid and happy with where the other three JSA kids are at the moment, but I figured I’d still break it down a little.

Yolanda: I like that she’s struggling with what she did, even months later. I like that she knows she can’t say anything at church, I like that she’s still able to talk about it with Courtney, and I like that Courtney was supportive without outright agreeing with or condemning her actions. It’s a tough thing for kids to talk about, and while an experienced adult like Pat might be able to understand it better, I like that Yolanda’s not completely bottling it up.

On that note, though, they said Cindy might have gotten crushed when the satellite came down, “like Brainwave”, so there’s a possibility here that nobody else knows what Yolanda did, which’ll be interesting to see play out, if that’s true.

Rick: Again, I like where he’s at. He’s more confident in who he is, a little more settled, but also still lost. He claims Tyler as his name again and knows he’s a hero, but he doesn’t know where he goes from here. I think that’s part of why he’s seeking out Grundy, because he’s still clinging to that part of his past because he doesn’t have any clue of what’s in his future.

He’s still very much an angry teenager new at being a superhero, ranting to that teacher about how he saved her, but knowing his character (and acknowledging how crappy that teacher was), I can’t entirely blame him for that. Was it a good move? No. Did it make sense? Absolutely.

Speaking of that teacher, she was not a good one. Can I understand her wariness about the bad boy of the school suddenly getting every answer right? Sure. But, 1) it’s been months, so surely there’s been some gradual improvement, 2) that’s not the way to do it; talk to him about it, sure, but don’t refuse to accept his explanations, and 3) refusing to accept his name change is a jerk move that a figure of authority shouldn’t be making. I could wave away the first one from TV-time-skipping-magic, but not the other two. I don’t really think we’ll see this character again (but maybe in summer school), but she’s more of a vessel to show us 1) how Rick’s changed and 2) how the way others see him hasn’t, so, I suppose, in that regard, she did her job.

Beth: It’s neat that the goggles still seem to be (mostly) working, but it’s the AI that’s not functioning. Not the route I’d thought they’d go, but it’s really interesting because it gives Beth a chance to expand her skill set, or at least expand it to the viewer, and give her a role as a coder/computer scientist. It also doesn’t cheapen the “death” of the AI that happened last season.

Also, like the others (Rick at school with the teachers, Courtney and Yolanda having a discussion in the middle of main street, even Pat with STRIPE), she’s not great at hiding her activities. They’re just goggles, maybe, and she could explain them away fairly easy, but I don’t like the way she just leaves them out around the house. I’m okay with it for now because 1) she’s a teenager, still learning, and they are pretty innocuous, 2) some of it’s probably just TV “requirements”, like not wanting to cut from scene to scene or whatever (idk, I’m not in the TV business), and 3) her parents seem pretty clueless.

And speaking of her parents, man did I not like them even more this season. Every time I saw them on screen my mind went straight to: “good people, terrible parents”. Did they ever even want a kid, or did they just like the idea of having a kid to fit into their “perfect lives” until even that wasn’t enough to keep them together? They’re barely aware of what Beth does on a day to day basis, she still seems to be the one doing all the cooking, and they forget to tell her they’re coming home late? Bad parenting, and selfish parenting at that.

Overall, my mood about Beth this episode can be summed up like this: Do I like Beth struggling? No. Does it open up possibilities for what could be a really intriguing character arc? Yeah.

My biggest complaint about our JSA is that there weren’t really any scenes of them together, but that’s more of the time constraints of having so many characters we needed to get concrete information on regarding where they stand. They had that nice patrol scene in the beginning to let us know they’re all still solid friends, so I’m happy enough with that for now.

Other thoughts:

Barbara wasn’t really in it much (no mention of her job, though the newspaper article did say something about The American Dream going through changes after the death of its leader or something like that), but I can sympathize with her wanting a vacation and not getting one. It’ll be interesting to see how okay she is with Courtney as Stargirl as things get more dangerous.

Mike, likewise, wasn’t much present, but it’s clear he’s still struggling to be a part of things. Pat wasn’t wrong, when he said that the discipline, etc. from having a job was important, but it still feels like he’s brushing Mike aside and not letting him be involved, so I can see some more resentment brewing this season. Better than last season, but c’mon Pat. Mike just wants to help. Still, hopefully we’ll get a better idea of where Mike stands in future episodes.

Artemis. Really interesting the way she brushed aside her parents being in jail as them being wrongly convicted. I’ve seen Young Justice, so I’m looking forward to seeing if they turn her into a villain or hero here.

Zeek. (Is that how he spelled it? It looked like that on his hat.) I’m, probably unnecessarily, wary of how interested he was in working with Pat at the show (does he know something?) but for now I’m mostly just mildly amused at his “I don’t care what you do on your time, but hey, do you think that robot could use a flamethrower?”. Also. Pat. C’mon man. You’ve been in this business for decades. Hide your robot better. (Though, I’ll admit, he was only resigned when he realized Zeek had found it, so... Did he have an excuse ready? Did he just not read Zeek as a threat? I’m probably reading too much into this, but it’ll again be interesting to see where it goes.)

Cameron’s back, seemingly unaware of everything, and it looks like his murderous grandparents are taking care of him. Not great, but, eh, we’ll see what happens.

Sylvester is still tracking down Pat. I’m a little bit glad the landlord either didn’t give him, or didn’t have, Pat’s information from that end scene last season. I’m also interested to see if Maggie (Mike’s Mom, if my understanding of comics I haven’t read is correct) sticks around. Sylvester seems supremely unworried and in a mostly good mood, despite his desire to track down Pat, so I really want to know what’s up with him. I’ve seen some fan theories of time travel and him being a displaced Starman, which could be interesting, but I have no idea if they’re accurate. He certainly seems to be the real deal, at least with all the right memories.

Cindy and Eclipso. That opening scene was creepy, and made me question if I’d turned on the right show, and the connection with the McNider family is really interesting. Did not like the way she had Mike’s picture, but from a writing POV I really liked it. I don’t want Mike to go villain, but I mostly trust the writers to see how this plays out.

Other thoughts: The town seems to have moved on from the mind control/satellite-dish-from-the-football-field thing, so I’m guessing there weren’t too many causalities. New principal makes sense, and I like that they didn’t need to shove it in our face to remind us what happened to the old one (plus that scene where Courtney bumps into her kid; nice and simple and shows a little of how he’s coping). I appreciate that Henry hasn’t been forgotten. No glimpse of Yolanda’s home life yet, or Rick’s uncle. No idea how Rick managed to change his name, but the threat he was hiding from is more or less gone, so it makes sense.

I may have forgotten something here or there, but anyone who’s made it this far deserves a cookie, so, thanks for reading! I’m always up for discussion if anyone wants to add on or debate any of my points.

[ijustwant2write]

The Right Treatment-Thomas Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @19-9x​)

Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy @jenepleurepasbaby @amirahiddleston @bloodorangemoonlight

Requested by @randombella: 'Hi, I absolutely love your writing! Could I request a Tommy x reader where she’s a childhood friend of all the Shelbys and then she’s got some kind of illness and keeps getting sicker but tries to hide it. But then Tommy finds out and everyone’s angry at her for hiding it and makes her get treatment. Thank you so much! Xx'

Characters: Tommy Shelby x Reader, John Shelby x Reader (platonic), Arthur Shelby x Reader (platonic), Polly Shelby x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Swearing, illness (including pain), injury, arguing, angst, fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Another morning waking up in pain, another morning where I hid that away from my closest friends. I slowly sat up, having to pause for a second as my head was spinning. After a while, I thought I would be used to it. Pushing through it, I forced myself to stand, stumbling my way to the wardrobe. I had to get dressed and ready before going to have breakfast, because I found it harder to make my way back up the stairs again. The pain subsided for a while, my headache disappearing, but my muscles still aching.

The cold nipped at me as I stepped outside, wrapping my coat tighter around me and making sure my hat was secure on my head. We never received good weather, and it made me feel worse every day. It didn't help that I was vulnerable to colds that could keep me in bed for up to a week, and this would be my first day back after having to take some time off, again.

"Here she is!" Arthur bellowed as I stepped into the betting shop."Dunno how we've all survived without your gorgeous face round 'ere."

"Don't get too close Arthur, I'm still not fully recovered."

"No, nothin' is stopping this." he hugged me tightly, not realising how much pain he was causing.

I winced, holding in the whimpering as he let go, smiling as I quickly turned around, heading to my desk outside of John's office. I had been his secretary for many years, I had been there when the business first started. The Shelby's and I were close, we were there for each other throughout everything. And after my parents died, they were the only ones I had left. They were sickly like I was, and I feared that I too would follow suit. But no one else needed to worry about me, especially not my boys.

"What time do you call this? Been slacking off all week and you waltz in fifteen minutes before we open?" John teased as he opened the door to his office, leaning against the door frame.

"It's called being on time. I'm here before all the other workers as you can see." I stated, meaning back in my chair and smirking.

"I'm just messing. You give them lot a bad name."

"I just like being here. It's better than being alone in my house. And I've been stuck there for a whole week."

"Yeah, we meant to visit but-"

"But you had business. Don't worry, I understand."

"Just seems that you've been getting ill quite a lot recently-"

"John, I'm fine. It's just this weather."

He looked me over with concern, nodding his head slowly before going back into his office. The tension in my shoulders dropped, glad that he dropped the topic before any questions were asked. No one else needed to worry about me, and I didn't want anyone else knowing.

As usual, the shop was busy. Everyone was bustling about, and it was getting far too hot already. Men were constantly walking by me, some even bumping into my desk which pissed me off. John was working on the bets too, so my work was limited. It always was with him, Tommy handled more of the paperwork. And speaking of, I hadn't seen Tommy once that day.

However, after another hour, the noise, humidity of the room and generally the people, were getting to me,

"I'm going for my break." I struggled to tell John as he was surrounded by other workers.

I heard him acknowledge me, though I wasn't sure what he had actually said. Taking it as a yes, I left anyway, relieved to be in the fresh air. As I stood in the backyard, I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes as I tried to cool off. My headache was back, and my back hurt from being stuck at the desk. The pain made me want to cry, but I couldn't show that in front of anyone. Save the tears for home.

"(Y/N)?" Tommy appeared, making me jump.

I broke out into a cough as I gasped, turning away as if that would hide me from him. I felt his hand on my back, and I moved away, quickly recovering.

"You shouldn't be back." he simply stated.

"I'm fine. You just made me jump." I breathed out, standing up straight.

He was silent, about to light a cigarette before putting it back in the box."Are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

"You're lying."

"I might not be fully recovered, but I'm completely fine to work."

"If you say so."

I huffed, rolling my eyes."Tommy, I'm capable of working right now. I don't need you all to babysit me."

"We're just looking out for you-"

"Yes, well...I can do that by myself, thank you!"

My anger had come from no where, making me falter slightly, and I had to use the wall for support. Tommy reached out to me to help, but my arm shot out, rejecting it.

"I'm going back inside. I need to get back to my work." I mumbled, trying to ignore the dizziness as I walked away.

"(Y/N), woah, hold on." Polly blocked me from entering the shop, and I groaned at her.

"Polly, I'm fine. Let me get past." I snapped.

"No you're not. I'm not an idiot, anyone can see that you're about to faint at any minute." she directed me to a chair close by.

"Pol-"

Her hands went to her hips."Shut up. Tommy, have you seen the state of her?"

Tommy stood beside her."Yes."

"Well, why haven't you sent her home?"

"She says she's perfectly fine."

"Oh for fucks sake. You are going home, now."

"What? Polly, you can't be serious."

"I fucking am. I'm not going to make you work if you look like you're about to drop."

"But I've been off for a week."

"Doesn't matter. Get home and rest properly." the scowl on her face softened."Please."

I sighed, wanting to retaliate and stubborn, but I could already feel the energy draining from me; glancing at the clock, I saw that I had a long time left, and I knew that I wouldn't last long.

"Fine." I huffed."I'll go."

"I'll walk you." Tommy offered.

I went to say no, but Polly's eyes warned me not to."Go with Tommy. I'll be round at some point to check that you're eating properly too."

This isn't what I wanted. The Shelby's had done so much for me in the past. We were next door neighbours since children, my dad even got involved with the gang side of things because the boys were always able to cut him a good deal, they wanted to help provide for our family. My mum didn't care that he was a blinder, as long as he came home alive and spent time with me. And of course, there was that fucking war, and my boys came back entirely different men. It took a long time to build up our relationships again, to be able to laugh freely.

"Tommy, I'm sorry you have to walk me home. I know you've got better things to do." I said as we left the shop.

"No I don't."

I didn't know what else to add, deciding to say nothing. As I unlocked my house, I didn't expect Tommy to follow inside. I said nothing against it, knowing he would have come in despite my objections.

"Are you here to spoon feed me?" I deadpanned, taking off my coat and setting down my handbag as if he wasn't there.

"Why are you pushing us away?"

"I'm not. I just don't think I need this much fussing over."

I made my way to the kitchen, sitting at the tiny dining table. My body was relieved, relaxing slightly, though the numbing pain was still there.

"(Y/N), look at yourself. You're not like you used to be." he sat opposite me.

"I'm exactly the same."

"No you're not! You don't move around like someone your age. I don't see you interacting with anyone as much as you used to. And...and you don't dance anymore."

I hadn't seen Tommy this upset for years. It was breaking my own heart.

"You used to dance all the time. Any music that played and you were up dancing, didn't matter where we were either. You were always able to get John or Arthur, even Finn to get up with you. Never me though. I haven't danced with you enough."

"Tommy, you make it sound like I'm dying." my voice was shaky, knowing there was truth in my words.

He hadn't broke eye contact, but I saw a change of emotion in his eye."Because you just might be."

"T-Tommy I'm not dying."

"Then why are you so scared? Have you been to a doctor?"

"There wasn't any need-"

"Have you seen yourself?" Tommy was beginning to get angry."Why haven't you been?"

"Because I know that this is just a small illness! I-I haven't fully recovered."

"(Y/N), stop lying to yourself. Please let me take you to a doctor, or get one sent here."

"Tommy! I don't need you to look after me anymore!" I suddenly shouted, silencing the both of us.

Instantly regretting what I said, my heart was telling me to apologise, but my stubborn mind refused to. Tommy sighed, standing up to leave, but before he did, he kissed me on the forehead. I stayed in my seat as he left, laying my head down on my arms to cry. I didn't want to argue with him, I didn't mean to shout. Why hadn't I just talked with him?

Although tears were stilling spilling out of my eyes, I got up and made myself a cup of tea, needing a distraction. But what with the stress and due to how tired I was, I sat back down again, sipping at my tea. I had one of those moments where the time disappeared in an instant, I felt like I blinked and it was suddenly dark outside. Though I hadn't thought about anything, my mind had been blank. Perhaps that was my way of pushing away the situation at hand.

There was a knock at the door, and I knew it was Polly. No doubt she came to feed me, and she would definitely make me eat. Slowly standing, I called out to her, letting her know I was coming, when I felt dizzy again. Holding onto whatever was nearest to me, I struggled to walk to the door, which should have taken me less than ten seconds. Polly's voice was muffled behind the door, but I could hear my breathing ever so loudly in my ears. My upper body wasn't able to hold itself upright, and I fell against the wall. Trying to stand up straight, I swayed backwards, before tipping forwards and collapsing, but not before smashing my head against the stair banister. 

The same pounding in my head I usually woke up with was still there, though the throbbing pain throughout my body was more intense. Was Tommy right? Was I getting closer to death? I opened my eyes, preparing myself to face another day, when I realised that I wasn’t at home. The ceiling was white, and much higher than mine in my room. And as I started to gather my surroundings, it was clear that I wasn’t laying in my bed, it was too bright in here to be my room, and the smell was too strong; it smelt too clean in here, too sterile. 

“Tommy?” I mumbled as I realised he was sat in a chair next to the bed. He looked rough, it was clear that he had been here all night with me.

His head pricked up when he heard me, rubbing his hand over his face.“You’re alright. You fell yesterday, hit your head badly.”

“I don’t really remember that.”

“It was lucky that Polly was there. She kicked the door in and called us. Drove you here as fast as we could.”

“I’m sorry Tommy. I’m sorry for making you all worry.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does though.” I stretched out my hand towards him, glad when he held it.“I could have easily solved all of this, I could have just gone to the fucking doctors and got all of this sorted before it got worse. But...but I didn’t want to end up like my parents.”

“Why?”

“Because they got sick towards the end of their lives. And although they were old, they were still too young to have died. I just thought...if whatever I have has come from them, and I have it now, I was scared that I would go too. And I couldn’t stand it if I left all of you, and I wouldn’t want to be a distraction from your work. Being a Shelby is hard enough, you didn’t need me to add to that pile of work.”

“You are not a distraction, and you are not another fucking problem I have to deal with. You are my family. I would rather be dealing with another mafia target than seeing you like this, stuck in a fucking hospital. That’s why we all told you to come here, to get better. You’ve got all of us here for you.”

“I know. I’ve been an idiot for not letting you all in.”

“Yeah, you have.”

A small laugh came out of both of us.“Tommy, am I going to be alright?”

“They haven’t gone into too much detail, but they assured me that you are no where near to death.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. It’s going to take a while, but they have the right treatment for you. But they said you have to take it easy, you must rest. So you won’t be coming back into work.”

“What? But Tommy-”

“I’ll cover your funds.”

“I can’t let you-”

“Yes you can, because I already have. And you’re also going to give us all a copy of your key, because I knew you wouldn’t want to be living anywhere else.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

My eyes cast down, suddenly embarrassed to say it.“I wouldn’t object to living with you.”

“With me?”

“Yeah. Unless you don’t want me around.”

“No, I do. I think I can cope with you.”

I smiled at him, squeezing his hand.“Thank you Tommy. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“You won’t have to wonder anymore.”

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.3}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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Lunch break came and went, and so did the second half of the conference. Robin and Snape continued doing what they had been doing for the most part of the day, quietly criticising the many misconceptions, mistakes and missing pieces of the other people's lectures, but they wouldn't be as tactless as to publicly bring it up in the discussions. All corrections and truths, as well as all snarky comments and crude jokes were kept exclusively between the two of them. The handbook, or rather the immense knowledge that was compiled in it by now, wasn't supposed to become known, especially not around here in these circles, and thus Robin had to refrain from correcting mistakes for the most part anyway. Only when she was asked for her opinion specifically – which actually had become an almost usual occurrence at this point – did she speak up at all. But of course the conference wouldn't have been the same without Kenneth Crowe, nor without his not so subtle attempts to mess with Robin once again.

"May I remark, Miss Mitchell, you haven't commented on my presentation yet, and given your inclination to comment on absolutely everything, that does surprise me now. So please enlighten us, what brilliant conclusion did you come to this time?" He asked her during the discussion to his lecture, his tone so pointedly hostile and sarcastic that a few people frowned at him in confusion. They must've been living under a rock for the last two years if they had missed this growing one-sided rivalry.

"Never give a green cat a flamethrower." Robin replied in perfect neutrality an instant later, looking him dead in the eye from all the way across the room. Admittedly, she had come prepared for such a situation this time around, and that left her feeling a lot more in control of the situation than she had in the previous years. Next to her, Snape raised an eyebrow and tried very hard not to look too amused by what he certainly guessed was coming.

Crowe however openly scoffed at Robin, rolling his eyes in a condescending manner, before crossing his arms over his chest. "Matters certainly get more ridiculous every single year; I won't even honor that statement by questioning it."

"That would be the point." Robin gave him a polite little smile, and multiple people in the room quietly snorted against better judgement. "I'm glad you agree with me on the issue. Some matters simply aren't worth to be commented on."

A few jaws dropped, Crowe's being one of them, but he stayed pointedly quiet in return and instead seemed to ignore Robin entirely from there on. Just what she had wanted. That settled the issue, and the afternoon continued on quietly until the last lecture was over, upon which the crowd assembled in the front for the usual picture to be taken. Unlike last year, Robin didn't have to convince Snape to partake, and they found their place easily just like everyone else did. After that however, Robin was asked to stand for a second photograph all by herself, which obviously was a usual procedure for the people who gave the lectures. She wasn't particularly fond of the idea, but it would've taken more time to argue herself out of it than to get it over with, and thus she simply shook her hair out of the bun it had been in and stood still.

"Smile for me, would you?" The photographer asked, and Robin tried to somewhat smile without looking stupid. But obviously he wouldn't have her not-smile. "No no no, smile with your entire face, like you actually mean it!"

"The others didn't have to smile either." She scoffed, thinking of how all the men before her had been done with the picture within seconds, and without a comment. "So why do I have to? Just because I'm female doesn't make me a dress up doll."

"I'm sure your smile is lovely, sweetheart." He reasoned and gave her a look that annoyed Robin within a second. "They say a woman's smile is the most enchanting thing about her, you know…"

"That is the best you can do? Not very creative, is it?" Snape remarked from just a little off to the side, raising an eyebrow at the photographer, absolutely unimpressed. "I would rather say it's the mind that enchants, but what would you know about that, right?"

Robin couldn't help laughing at the comment, at the sheer sass in it, and even just at the expression on Snape's face. Before she knew, her photo was taken and the grumbling photographer packed up without another word to either of them. Well, at least she was smiling like he'd wanted her to, even if she had looked behind the camera rather than into it.

What followed was the usual: endless smalltalk and conversations, being handed over from one person to the next, and having to tell people as politely as possible that her life wasn't a topic she would give them information on. But unlike last year, Snape stayed by Robin's side the entire time and thereby made the whole procedure a lot more bearable. He obviously didn't have the same reputation here as he did back at Hogwarts, but even without knowing exactly who he was, his height, scowls and generally dark appearance sufficed to keep people at a distance from both of them. For the most part at least.

"So you are the famous Miss Mitchell…" A man perhaps a little older than Snape approached them in a slow saunter in the very moment Robin's previous conversation came to an end. She had noticed how he'd kept throwing glances at her throughout the evening, but only now he actually approached her, in obvious disdain that Snape still refused to leave her side. Perhaps that's why his eyes and focus stayed exclusively on Robin. "A true honour to meet you at last."

"I'm Robin Mitchell, yes." She replied, after not finding a name tag on him anywhere. "But I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"Jacob Crowe." He smiled way too brightly, bowing in an exaggerated manner. "You already know my brother Kenneth, unfortunately. But let me assure you that not everyone in our family is quite as ignorant as him."

"Nice to meet you, then." Robin made herself return a polite smile even though his forcefully charming demeanor made her rather want to scowl. At least Snape's hand was still securely resting on her back, had been from the start of these torturous conversations, and she found herself leaning into him the slightest bit more on instinct now. He surely wouldn't mind… just for the duration of this uncomfortable situation.

"I must say, your presentation was quite enchanting." Crowe gave her another look that was probably supposed to be dashing, but only did the very opposite. "A fascinating story of research and intellect, told by the most fascinating woman I have ever seen. Logically, I was clinging onto your every word."

"Yes, that much was obvious." Snape taunted with the inevitable scowl, glowering at Crowe before Robin had to come up with a reply on her own. It was the first and only time he had gotten himself involved in any of Robin's conversations this evening, and good gods he couldn't have picked a better time.

Crowe glared right back at him, making a face that was in no way inferior in its hostility to that of his brother. "And you are…?"

"Tired of hearing you speak when you clearly have nothing to say." Snape replied in a cutting voice that was filled with boredom and disdain alike, and yet he tugged Robin even closer to his side ever so gently. Always the contradiction.

Crowe glared at him for another moment, then turned back to Robin with a still somewhat irritated expression that he however tried to cover up with another smile. "You are a remarkable woman, Robin… It would be a true joy to get to know you, to hear more about your research and life. But then again, you seem to be spoken for already."

"As a matter of fact, I generally only speak for myself." Robin replied calmly, but yet in a tone that made abundantly clear what she thought of his advances. "And I am here to speak about research, not about my personal life."

"There's no harm in combining work and pleasure, my dear." He gave her another almost suggestive grin, obviously misunderstanding her previous statement. "I know for a fact that you are quite exceptional in one, and I would love to find out about the other."

"Good evening, Mister Crowe." She got out more or less politely, then turned on her heels and pulled Snape towards the doors with her. He seemed no less eager to finally leave this place, which made it more of a common hasting than either leading the other really. However before they could get far, another group of three men stepped into their way. They at least acknowledged Snape with a nod before focusing entirely on Robin.

"Miss Mitchell, I was wondering if you could tell us a bit more about the Siazella you found on accident. I have never heard of it before, which should be surprising enough at my age! How on earth did you know what you were dealing with?" The oldest in the group got right to the point, smiling in a curious and friendly manner at least, and Robin still had to suppress a sigh. She just wanted to leave… but that would have to wait. If Dumbledore had already set her up for the lecture, he surely would expect her to answer the professional questions as well. At least these men actually seemed sincerely interested in her research.

For another twenty minutes Robin elaborated on the Siazella and her knowledge of it, careful to leave out her handbook nonetheless, and once she also had answered any follow-up questions, the three men finally wished them a good night and let them be at last. Two heartbeats passed, and then Snape and Robin practically ran out the doors to avoid getting held up another time. Only once they had rushed all the way through the hallways and down the first flight of stairs, they finally slowed down a little, which left Robin both breathless and amused. Somehow, fleeing from the crime scene together had a charme in itself.

"I'm glad it's finally over…" She sighed as they walked down the elaborate staircase that –as everything in the wizarding world, it seemed– was merely lit by an astonishing number of candles. "The day was more annoying than I remembered it to be, and a whole lot more exhausting. I'm glad it's just you and me now."

"I wonder why I ever attended this pathetic event in the first place." Snape grumbled to himself in return, his scowl coloured by the barest hint of a pout. "A room full of idiots who speak nonsense and pride themselves in entirely irrelevant matters. I could have the very same in the Slytherin common room."

Robin let out a snort, which however was followed by an almost affectionate smile. "You attended because of me, I would say."

"So did everyone else, obviously." He drawled, rolling his eyes in complete disdain once more, much like the expression he had given the younger Crowe.

"Are you jealous?" She couldn't help asking in a teasing tone, quirking an eyebrow at him in amusement. Yeah, maybe teasing him when he was annoyed wasn't the best idea.

"Whyever would I be?" He scoffed immediately, a little too immediately, and definitely much too defensively.

"Because unlike back at Hogwarts, I am the one with a reputation here." She grinned in return, choosing to let go of what she had originally been insinuating in favour of a more universal interpretation, then couldn't help laughing at her own thought. "Usually you're Batman and I'm Robin. But here I'm Batman and you're Robin… which you're probably not used to being. But I can assure you that I definitely couldn't have done any of this without you, so perhaps it's not the best analogy."

He rolled his eyes again, but couldn't help the small smirk tugging on his lips. "Poor analogy indeed, especially for you. As far as I remember, you are the heroic type who saved a girl from almost certain death, twice in a row."

"And you are far braver than you give yourself credit for! I mean, you're spending a great deal of time with me, that's gotta take some bravery to go through with willingly." Robin smirked up at him, raising her eyebrows in humour as they made their way through the almost empty entrance hall in complete ignorance of everyone who was still present.

"If I was any kind of brave, I would have cursed all those men up there the second they dared to gawk at you in such a lewdly manner." He said once they were finally out in the dark street again, and his words sent an immediate shiver through Robin. But she also reminded herself that he probably, no, definitely didn't mean it in the way her mind so desperately wanted to believe.

"That wouldn't have been brave but just rash." She replied with a small smile, calm and reassuring, even though her heart was racing. "Take Crowe, for example. He was only sweet-talking me to get information on my personal life. And as much as I wanted to hex him myself, it just would've looked like I have something to hide."

"How can you be so rational about people mistreating you like that?"

"Practice." Robin shrugged with an actually humoured smile. "And I had you with me the entire time; what bad could possibly have happened to me?"

"I feel honoured by that assessment, but still, you take their crude behavior far too lightly."

"I'd rather say you take it too seriously. You said yourself that it's just a room full of idiots and creeps, so why should we waste a thought on them?" She gave him a pointed look to accompany the statement. "It's over now either way, and the only idiot you have to deal with is me."

"Yes, but that is an entirely different matter. You are my idiot."

"I am?" The grin was on her face before she could help it, and his words burned themselves into her memory to haunt her in her mind for all time to come.

"Obviously." He quirked an eyebrow at her in a way that made her grin even more, and only then he allowed himself the tiniest smirk in return. A moment passed in silence before he spoke on. "It is fairly late already, and knowing you, you will most certainly want to look into another theory tomorrow morning."

"We don't have to! I mean, if you'd prefer to… to take a break, we can continue any other time really. If you've got something else to do, I absolutely understand that. I mean it's been two weeks, and I haven't even once asked if I was keeping you from anything, and really it's been quite rude of me to just blindly assume that you would want to waste your entire holidays on me, but since we never really discussed it, you know, I just-..."

"Breathe." He cut in with a still subtly amused expression. "Tomorrow is fine."

"Good…" Robin said and let out a long breath at the same time indeed. Really, if she was exceptionally good at anything, it would have to be rambling. Or overthinking. "Tomorrow morning it is then."

"The cliff?"

"Always lovely meeting there. Eight as always?"

"Very well."

"So… time to say goodnight, I guess."

"Indeed."

And yet, they both remained standing a step apart on the dark sidewalk, looking at each other expectantly while neither wanted to be the first to go. After half a minute, Robin started smiling, then grinning, and finally straight out laughed at the situation and at how silly they both were being. This wasn't the first time this had happened, but it never ceased to amuse her, nor amaze her that he seemed to be as reluctant to part ways as her.

"Coffee?" She finally asked with a soft smile.

"Yes."

… … …

Finding a place to have decent coffee after eleven at night was surprisingly easy in London, but for the sake of being a little more subtle than going to the Leaky Cauldron or any other establishment where either of them surely would be recognized, they settled for a random muggle pub that wasn't too crowded nor too loud, and where hopefully nobody would ask questions about Snape's choice of clothing. He'd been very much right in that regard, muggles didn't take too kindly to people in robes, but since Robin looked mostly normal, they merely received a few odd glances. Admittedly, they could simply have gone back to making instant coffee somewhere far away from people, but real coffee was a tempting change for once. Thus they found themselves sitting at a small table in a corner, and Robin couldn't help enjoying the anonymity of a crowded place as well as the bliss of doing something so very ordinary with Snape for once. If one looked at it that way, they had never actually spent time in public together, so this was a welcome new experience that came with very welcome tingles no less. Before long their orders arrived, and the overly cheerful blonde waitress reminded Robin of something she had almost forgotten about after everything that had happened that day.

"Oh fuck…" She groaned under her breath, sighing at the realization that her evening had just gotten a whole lot longer than anticipated.

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing really." She sighed again as she returned Snape's inquiring gaze and rested her chin in her hands, elbows propped up on the table. "I just remembered that I still have something to do when I return… home tonight."

"Doesn't look like it will be a pleasant task. Chores?"

"If that's what you wanna call Cas, then sure." Robin laughed, especially when he rolled his eyes in return. "I'm supposed to help her with something, and I don't know if I can. At least not in the way she would like me to."

"You have always been exceptional at keeping me in suspense." He sighed, then took a sip of his coffee and motioned for Robin to go on already. After briefly considering it, she did.

"I said something on the train ride home, about how a well written letter can be a great way to connect with someone if you can't see them for a while. And well… she wants to write to Simon without being cheesy or boring."

"And she wants you to write it for her?" Snape quirked an eyebrow at Robin in doubt. "That would defy the entire purpose of such a letter, wouldn't you say?"

"Obviously it would, and that's why I don't know how to help her! She didn't specifically ask me to write it for her, just to help her in any way I can. Give her some inspiration, or pointers maybe… You got any idea?"

"I'm afraid I have no experience with this kind of matter. Most letters I have written throughout my life were related to my work in both content and form. Don't you have received or written something of a similar kind before?"

"Obviously not! I've only ever written to you, to be honest." Robin shrugged, stirring her coffee with a spell before remembering where she was and quickly taking the teaspoon instead. "But I'm supposed to be the knowledgeable one and help Cas out. It's my job to know better than her."

"That is what I thought about you for a certain amount of time." He mused with a not-smirk. "But I gave up at some point in your third year."

Robin chuckled, sipping her coffee as well, before setting it down with a sigh and a new determination. Without another word, she summoned a piece of paper, a pen, and Cas' book out of her backpack, then placed it on the table in front of her with a thud. "You're helping me with this. If I don't know what I'm doing and you don't either, we better be clueless together."

"I had feared you would suggest that." He sighed dramatically, giving her a teasingly annoyed glance nonetheless. "But I would be a poor excuse of a friend if I let you down in times of despair."

Smiling, Robin pushed the dreaded book closer to him and kept the paper to herself. "Here, look through that for anything useful. Cas loves this book, it's full of sappy teen romance."

"And you would know that because…?"

"She sneakily made me promise to read it, so I did. I had to."

"Of course she did…"

"Now you just sound like Dumbledore."

"Insult me and I'm gone." He drawled in bad neutrality while flipping through the pages, and Robin had to snort. Neither of them seemed to be on good terms with the headmaster today, not after he had put Robin through giving a lecture without even a notice.

"The book really is quite terrible. I got it over with in the first week of the holidays, but I barely made it out alive." She remarked as she brainstormed what she knew about letters, love, Cas and Simon, but her thoughts kept coming back to the book as her only point of reference.

"What is it even about? I cannot tell from the glimpses of bad dialogue thrown at me here."

"Oh, you know… stupid stuff." Robin replied evasively, but even to herself that answer was a poor excuse, if anything. She hadn't written it after all, nor even read it voluntarily. But secretly enjoyed it a little more than she would ever admit. "This eighteen year old girl who falls madly in love with some guy who's new at her school. Ridiculous, really… They don't even know each other all that well, but still hit it off after just a few weeks of unreasonable conflict. It's the least romantic thing ever, they don't even seem to care about each other as much as they care about themselves. They go through all those firsts together, which admittedly is quite adorable, but then they ruin it all again by being so flat and shallow and vain that you just wanna smack them in the head the entire time. If anything, that book is a test of patience."

"Certainly sounds like it, yes… The writing is poor, the plot too as it seems, and the dialogue is an abomination in itself."

"Yeah, you could say that." Robin snorted with a smile.

"Perhaps we should treat it as a negative example for the task at hand then." He suggested. "Tell me, what exactly is bad about the way this is written?"

"Well, the entire thing is just so exaggerated and blown out of proportion... It feels unnatural for people who have known each other such a short time to be quite so over the top with their emotions and declarations." Robin started, and at the same time Snape plucked the pen out of her hand and pulled the papers on the table closer to himself.

"Do go on." He said as Robin stopped speaking to frown at his doings, and then gave her a look that left no room for argument beyond his words.

"Uh, alright… as I said, it's exaggerated, and just too much. Then the author also relies way too much on the use of straight out saying 'I love you', as well as just kissing and making out, to indicate the sentiments between the characters. The emotions should rather be obvious between the lines; if you have to directly say them to be understood, you're doing it wrong. Not that saying it would be bad, I don't mean it like that, it's just… it shouldn't be said just because it needs to be. At least not when they're already in a relationship. Their love should be the driving force of everything that is said, not the direct message itself, and-..." Robin cut herself off before she could start rambling again, and focused on moving on instead. "Then, as I said earlier, they seem to not even know each other. You could switch out any of the names on the pages, and it wouldn't make a difference. They should be playing on what they know and adore about each other, even if it's not much yet. Just… lending a book to someone who loves books will be a much more meaningful gesture than getting them a bouquet of roses, for example. People really shouldn't be afraid to go for the unusual kind of gestures and gifts."

"That makes for a decent list of don'ts already, which is a point to start. So tell me, what would you like to read instead of the negatives you pointed out? You already mentioned a few ideas for improvement, but perhaps you can think of more. Start from the negatives you created, and envision their counterpart."

Robin gave him a partially annoyed, partially desperate look, but he merely quirked an eyebrow and waited for her to continue. Insufferable idiot… but his idea to make her talk on the basis of the stupid book was helping more than anything she had come up with herself. Sighing, Robin gave in. What would a teenager want to hear from their love interest? What would Cas enjoy reading if she already enjoyed the stupid book so much? Damnit… this was difficult. "I don't know… I'm not good at these things, I can't imagine what a teenager would want to read."

"If Cassandra would have wanted to write by the standards of a teenager, she would have asked one of her mutuals. But she asked you, so you might as well advise her from your own perspective."

"Fine…" Robin sighed, and hid the heat on her face behind her coffee cup. What had she enjoyed hearing from Snape, in letters or in conversation? Or rather what would she enjoy? Damnit, she should have allowed herself to dream about this more often. "I think it is of major importance how much you let someone see of yourself. Allowing them to know you better than anyone else, giving them the chance to understand you in a different way by showing them more than just the big picture. Learning about the small and random moments in someone's life just has an entirely different level of intimacy to it than learning about the big things. I mean sure, it's the big events that shape a life, but it's the small things that shape the person and give them their colour. If I had to choose, I would always choose the colour, because it is what makes a person truly who they are, and not just the sum of bad or good things that have happened to them. The sky doesn't need a shape to be beautiful either, but it's the colour that makes one fall in love with it."

For the moment that followed, they both stayed quiet. Robin sipped the remainder of her coffee, and Snape finished writing whatever he was noting down of her words and thoughts. Perhaps she shouldn't have let herself get so deep… perhaps she shouldn't have asked him for help in the first place. But then she would be sitting in her tent by herself tonight, listening to the same old records she had put on every night since taking the player, and drown in sorrows over how little she really knew about love, and about people. No, this was much better indeed. Before long, Snape pushed the piece of paper across the table towards Robin again, and she smiled when she saw the perfectly organized list of things to avoid, and things to do instead. Copying it would probably be the best idea, to send it to Cas in her own handwriting. But Robin was keeping the original for sure.

"I think that should be a decent reference for anyone to write by." He said calmly, and finished the rest of his coffee while leaning back in his chair. "Cassandra would have to make a real effort to mess it up now."

"You should never underestimate Cas' ability to mess things up… Especially the easy ones." Robin grinned at him for a moment, until she managed to tone it down to a sincere smile. "Thank you for your help with this. I think we did pretty well for two people who didn't know any better."

"You shouldn't thank me. It was you who said every single thing that is on this list; I merely wrote it down in an appropriate format."

"And you made me say them in the first place!" Robin objected, almost finding herself as amused as nervous by the fact that the statement was only too true. He was the only reason she knew what truly loving someone felt like, even if it left her no wiser about being loved in return. But she knew that he appreciated her quite a lot, at least. Who else could say that about themselves, huh? In a way, that was a status as exclusive as it could get.

"Perhaps we simply make a good team no matter how impossible the endeavour." He suggested calmly, and gave her a not-smirk that had her melting within seconds.

"We most certainly do."

______________________________

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[duckie-baby]

let's talk about s02e08: the sins of the father.

let's talk about how this could've been a pivotal point in arthur's character arc, if the writers of this show weren't fucking cowards.

let's talk about how it was completely unfair on merlin's part to lie to arthur, because arthur deserved the truth goddamnit and it wasn't merlin's place to take that away from him.

of course, this is later justified by merlin saying that he knows arthur and that he wouldn't be able to live with himself or the guilt of it if he had gone ahead and killed his father. and of course, like every other potentially life-changing event, all of this is never mentioned by the show again.

magic is damned even further in arthur's eyes, uth*r threatens everyone who knows the truth into silence, vaguely implies that he's totally chill with his son fucking his manservant as long as they're all of the same anti-magic ideals, the episode ends in all smiles.

but whew! at least arthur's been protected from the harsher sides of reality, once again! god forbid this character gains any sense of self-awareness!

my point is, if all of this was to keep arthur from killing daddykins bc it would weigh on his delicate conscience, to preserve the Goodness Of His Character As A Man And King, why the fuck should merlin have to lie to him about it?

consider, instead of:

Morgause is lying! She's an enchantress. She tricked you. That was not your mother you saw. That was an illusion. Everything...everything your mother said to you...those were Morgause's words.

we could have had something along the lines of:

What your father did was wrong, Arthur, but is this man the man you want to be? The king you want to be? Would you be able to ascend the throne even as your father's blood glistens, still fresh, on your sword? Would you be able to live with yourself if you made this decision?

if he kills his darling father anyway, honestly, Good For Him. he has every right to. uth*r went through with a dangerous spell despite knowing the risks, then commited genocide in its name whilst lying about his reason as to why.

uth*r has commited genocide.

he is not a good king or father either, as proven several times throughout the show. he deserves no mercy, no pity.

but the choice should've been arthur's to make. this scene should've been a testament to arthur's character.

if he kills daddy dearest anyways but then feels Super Guilty about it later, we know he wouldn't have made a good king. you can't head a country when you're prone to making drastic decisions without thinking them through bc you were throwing pissy fit at the time.

so if he still goes through with it, he must not been shown to regret it.

but say he does let uth*r live. maybe for whatever love remains for the man who raised him. but he renounces him as his king, as his father.

arthur starts publicly going against his policies and decisions. bc if uth*r could have been so wrong about this alone, what else is he wrong about? arthur refuses to carry out his orders if he believes it’s against the interests of the people.

raising taxes? how about No. oh, he can’t knight commoners? just Try and stop him. he learns to trust in the counsel of merlin, gwen, morgana, people who we know interact direct directly with the citizens of camelot and want what’s best for them; builds his own circle. he routinely breaks out prisoners from the dungeons he believe have been punished unjustly.

especially the people who use magic. he openly speaks out against his father and his persecution of it.

uth*r can try and stop him, alright. but there is a clear rift in the kingdom now, two distinct factions. those who believe in the king that arthur will be, and those who believe their loyalty is still to the current monarch.

and look at these people, from the execution scene from s01e01:

look at their faces (and also hnfvbdjh colin morgan and his obscene fucking cheekbones jesus christ). they don't seem to appreciate uth*r saving them from the evils of magic much. how many of them have lost their friends and family to his crusade? how many of them remember a time when magic was still allowed in camelot and the kingdom flourished?

these people will stand with arthur pendragon.

yeah. the ones who still believe in uth*r’s authority are few and far in between. and they know where they can shove it.

arthur learns. about magic, about its history, the old religion. merlin finally reveals his magic to him, so does morgana. he goes to the druids and he falls to his knees and he begs for their forgiveness. morgause begrudgingly allies herself with him, seeing his determination to right his father’s mistakes. he still struggles with the little boy within him who just wants his only parent’s approval, sometimes. but he is slowly but surely becoming his own man.

arthur becomes king long before he takes the throne. uth*r is forced to watch, a meaningless figurehead, as everything he worked to achieve comes undone at the hands of his own son. no attempts to make the viewers sympathise with him. he is angry and miserable and wasting away and there is nothing he can do about it; and it’s exactly what he fucking deserves.

and merlin? merlin finally realises kilgharrah’s word isn’t gospel. morgana is redeemed before she ever loses herself. but they must learn to trust each other again, bc merlin left her to face her fear and self-loathing alone when she needed someone more than ever (you might be cute, merlin, but not enough to get away with THAT). he finds himself taking young sorcerers who don’t know how to control their power under his wing (gilli, daegal, oh god the endless opportunities here), including mordred. MORGAUSE TEACHING MERLIN AND MORGANA MAGIC.

he and arthur are equals now, partners in destiny; the world is theirs.

and for the love of god, give me villains whose entire personality and motivations don’t boil down to I Hate Uth*r Pendragon And Also His Son.

give me kings who are afraid of camelot’s growing power, give me bandits and slave traders who realise they have no place in arthur and merlin’s albion. give me uth*r apologists scrambling to maintain their position in court, hell, give me anarchist organisations if that’s what it takes to spice things up a little.

give me the golden age of albion we were promised.

of course, all of this requires characters acknowledging and growing from their mistakes, and making their actions have lasting consequences — so i suppose it really is a bit too much to ask of the writers.

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Hello 👋🏼, sorry if I’m bothering u but ever since the recent chapters of BNHA I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the Todoroki family. Not many of my friends are into this anime and I just couldn’t stop myself from sharing this with you because I need to let this out.

[SPOILER ALERT 🚨!!! IF U DONT READ THE MANGA THEN U CAN JUST IGNORE THIS]

First of all:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

(I’m still screaming as I write because the backstories RUINED me.)

Poor Touya having this horrible obsession over heroics and having his father acknowledge him but ever since his quirk started reacting against his body the whole family got negatively affected by it.

Rei and Enji wanted to stop at two kids but with Touya’s sudden disadvantage and the latter’s craving for power, Natsuo and later on Shouto was born (the youngest getting titled as the perfect heir from the moment he was born). I got torn seeing Touya’s eyes succumb to absolute madness at the birth of his younger brothers.

What scared me the most was how when it was just Touya and Fuyumi, the two hardly interacted despite being only a year apart in age. Touya claimed that ‘girls just don’t get it’ this small foreshadowing was later brought to light in the most recent chapter where he once again rejects Fuyumi’s company in favour of ranting to only Natsuo and where he disregards his own mother— another ‘girl’ that doesn’t understand his obsession passion for surpassing All Might and someone who plays along to the acts of those stronger than them. Touya saw his mother as a weak person who had no choice but to marry for the sake of her family and have custom children. Little Touya firmly believed his very existence depended on getting acknowledged my his father and defeating All Might but it sadly didn’t come true😭😭

Also..... LOOK AT THE BABIES!!!! They’re all so CUTE!!!

Chubby Fuyumi!!!

Natsuo with a running nose

And Baby Shouto with a meme like face since the day he was born🤣🤣🤣🤣

So ADORABLE!

And another thing. FUYUMI WAS EVEN YOUNGER THAN I THOUGHT TO HAVE STARTED ACTING LIKE A SECOND MOTHER TO HER BROTHERS!! Look at the way she defended Natsuo when Touya went on a rampage and tried to attack Touya! And during moments when Enji and Rei fought the two most notable heroes were Shouto and Fuyumi; the former fighting on the frontlines to face his father while the latter stood behind to once again care for her remaining family that though weren’t involved in the fight, they still needed emotional support to get through it.😭

I AM SO SORRY TO BE GETTING TO THIS SO LATE ANON BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

TW: Spoilers, Brief Mention of Child Abuse (Physical, Emotional and Mental), General Fandom Wank

So, like, SO MUCH HAPPENED in those chapters and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ALMOST ALL OF IT! There’s obviously all the things you mentioned above that were just amazing to see and learn! I know that a majority of the fandom has been absolutely livid about the reveals involving Touya being drastically different than what fandom thought they were all this time, but I think it honestly highlights how smart Horikoshi’s writing really is.

In Shoto, we see the effects of physical and mental abuse on a child, and how easily he could have ended up going down a troubling road much like Touya. Shoto’s saving grace is facing off against Deku in the Sports Festival, giving him an outside perspective and makes him realize that he can choose to be better, but that doesn’t just magically fix all of Shoto’s problems. Shoto still struggles with his feelings towards his Father and how he is perceived by simply being Endeavor’s son. We see that in the Provisional License Arc, where Shoto is so thoroughly rattled by Inasa. It’s even further pushed through how Shoto struggles with his feelings about Endeavor trying to better and whether or not he should forgive him. I feel like Shoto’s arc is incredibly strong and that his struggles are very realistic, which is why people love him so much. This whole concept is another thing I could rant about but I’m going to leave it here.

Meanwhile, with Touya, we see the effects of mental and emotional abuse on a child and how it can completely destroy them. I think people that act like Horokoshi “down played” and “ret-conned” Endeavor as a character to make him more sympathetic/ redeemable or that he’s simply writing Touya as “always being a bad seed” are missing the mark. This is, admittedly, something you see a lot when it comes to victims of abuse in the real world as well; the idea that if you weren’t physically or sexually abused on top of emotional or mental abuse, your abuse is somehow less “valid.” Now I’ve seen more voices speaking out against this mentality - which is relieving and positive - but it’s still a problem. The way Touya was abused is no less valid or scarring to himself as a person as what Shoto has been through was. Touya and Enji clearly had a deep bond as father and son. Hell, the fact that Enji is sobbing and saying he “can’t fight his own son” in regards to Touya, but clearly had less issue training Shoto until he got ill or passed out says a lot.

Touya was put on an incredibly high pedestal by Enji’s constant praise and attention. He was the apple of his father’s eye until the limitations of his Quirk were discovered. Enji had filled his head with promises and goals for what his future would be, essentially selling him what turned out to be a lie. We see Rei herself tell Enji that Touya “knows you expect something out of the kids.” Touya’s whole life up until that point was being told of all the great he would someday accomplish, and equating that to being deserving of his Father’s love, attention and affection.

And then he couldn’t live up to that expectation. And then his parents had two more kids following that revelation. The idea that Touya doesn’t realize that Natsuo and Shoto were meant to be his replacements - unbroken models that “deserved” Enji’s love - is clearly not missed by him. It’s evident in the way he looks at Natsuo after he’s born. He sees this as a sign that he is no longer deserving - no longer worthy - of love or support from the parent he absolutely adores.

We see this mostly from Enji and Rei’s perspectives, so we know the reasons they did it, but it’s clear they didn’t stop to think about the way this would be interpreted by Touya himself. This whole matter is only worsened by the fact that Enji refuses to make sacrifices for the sake of his oldest son. He pushes Touya to live a life outside of Pro Heroics while Enji himself refuses to do the same, thus setting a positive example and showing solidarity with his son. He instead pushes him away and distances himself, loses himself in focusing on Natuso and, once his Quirk turns out to not be what he wants, Shoto. Touya continues to push himself despite his limits in a desperate bid for Enji to look at him the way he used to; with pride and love. 

What caused the fire that “killed” Touya? His anguish over being neglected and abandoned - left unloved - by his father yet again. It’s clear that Touya’s mental health is in need of some real focus that he has never gotten - due to both his parents negligence as well as the fact that mental health is highly stigmatized in Japanese society - and pairing that with the emotional and mental abuse he suffered at Enji’s hands broke him.

So many people are claiming Horikoshi is trying to make Enji “more redeemable”, but how do you get that? Enji abused Rei, his own wife, physically and emotionally and mentally until she had a psychotic breakdown, hurt their youngest child, and then robbed her the right to mother her children further by having her locked up in a psych ward for the next decade or so; built their oldest son, Touya, up only to then emotionally and mentally abuse him to the point he damn near killed himself in a frantic bid to garner Enji’s support only to return years later completely unhinged and looking to murder his entire family out of spite; neglected Fuyumi and Natsuo to the care of each other and hired help; alienated Shoto, his youngest son, from his siblings for his entire formative years, physically and mentally and emotionally abused him, groomed him to accomplish a task he never wanted, put him through such extensive physical training that Shoto would get sick or pass out.

Enji was a shitty father. He has a long ass road to continue walking if he ever wants redemption. The fact he didn't physically hit Touya doesn’t mean that Enji didn’t abuse his son and it doesn’t make Touya any less of a victim.

* End TodoFam Rant*

On a slightly lighter note, I also like all the information with Hawks’ past and all the parallels we’re seeing develop!

I’ve rambled briefly about this in other places the Huwumi discord but I want to expound upon this a bit more here.

I feel like Touya/ Dabi and Keigo/ Hawks are meant to be parallels to one another.

Back to back, we had proper name claims by these two characters. We had Dabi reveal his true identity as Todoroki Touya and then we have Hawks choosing to abandon his hero name to instead step up to fight as Takami Keigo.

I feel like “Dabi” was always a mask, of sorts. Dabi is typically pretty calm, cool, composed with the occasional bites of snark and cruelty. Meanwhile, we see Touya emoting and moving in a manner more akin to himself as a child, dancing about in manic delight over revealing his true identity and intentions. The pair of them are two drastically different people when you stop and look at it. “Dabi” was the mask he wore to gain ground to enact his revenge, and now that he is there? Now Touya can burn everything tethered to it down to ground.

Meanwhile, we have "Hawks” as he was forced to become as per the Hero Public Safety Commission. We had it revealed quite a while back that Hawks was a man of many faces, jumping from laid-back and chill to serious and focused quite frequently. “Hawks” is the presentation for the public and the Commission, groomed to be the perfect little canary in the mine that was Pro Heroics. The reveal of his true heritage, however, is not the killing blow Touya wanted it to be. Instead, it allows Keigo, the one who wanted to be a Hero to help people, the chance to truly dedicate himself to that. In being freed from the cage of “Hawks”, he is given the change to really soar as Keigo.

Now, I feel that “Dabi” and “Hawks” are most certainly parts of Touya and Keigo as well, respectively. Even though those titles were masks, they were masks made from parts of the men who wear them. I think what we’ll see going forward is the true elements of those masks bleeding back into the whole, and seeing the truest forms of each character.

For better or for worse. 

[m00nycore]

𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙊𝙁 𝙈𝙔 𝙎𝙏𝙐𝙋𝙄𝘿 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙏 ;; 𝙩𝙬𝙤 .

𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 .

𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎 𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙛𝙤𝙮 𝙭 𝙤𝙘 (𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨)

𝙩/𝙬 : 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥, 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙏𝘼𝙂𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 ;; @dreaming-about-fanfictions @aesthetic-el @lord-byron​ @drxcomvlfx​

Green apples and toast.

It’s what Draco had been sending to her room every day, according to Poppy. He had asked the elf- kindly, she said- to make sure she was eating and to find out what she wanted.

Everyday, Wren couldn’t help but give the same response. Draco had somehow chosen the food from the first day very well. The two weeks they spent at the manor before they went to Hogwarts was only endurable because of her carefully crafted routine.

Wren was an early riser. Six o’clock was her preferred wake-up time, and she began her day by sitting in a bath with the water so hot that it burned the entire time.

Poppy would bring her an apple soon after, as well as a pitcher of water and a cup. In the morning, her appetite was small. She would eat the apple in the tub, and when she was done, she’d exit the bath. Wren got dressed, and headed to the gardens by seven-thirty.

Wren stayed outside in the gardens, aimlessly wandering to kill times. She would return into the manor at noon, and she refused lunch from Poppy.

The best part of her day was the visit to the library, a room that was immaculate, but untouched for the most part. The room was huge, almost as large as her manor���s. The Malfoy family didn’t seem the type to read obsessively the way she did. She would take a few books out and return to her room.

By the time she had devoured each novel, Aegis nestled into her side, Poppy brought her dinner- toast and a green apple. As she ate, she asked Poppy to keep her company. The two would talk every night.

She would learn every detail of Poppy’s day, which comforted her. The Malfoy’s had a few house elves, and Poppy was becoming friendly with them. In turn, Poppy listened with wonder in her eyes as Wren described each book she had read to her.

At nine at night, she would lay in bed, waiting to be able to sleep. Many hours later, she was swept into a dreamless sleep.

The irony of her given name almost made her laugh- she was Persephone, trapped in the unforgiving Underworld. The green apple had been her pomegranate seed, and Draco was unwillingly her Hades.

Since the night in the gardens, the two hadn’t spoken, nor had Wren returned the ring to her finger. It would all change tomorrow, she knew, but she was strangely numb to it all. The monotony had gotten to her. 

Narcissa knocked on her door again that night, just as Wren was packing her trunk to return to school the following morning. As far as she knew, neither of them had left the house- save the time they ventured to Knockturn Alley. Poppy had told her about it.

“Good evening, Mrs. Malfoy,” she greeted.

Narcissa smiled at her, strained, standing by the door. She glanced at the ring that sat atop her pile of clothes.

“That was Lucius’ great-grandmother’s,” she commented, smiling softly. “My ring was passed down from his maternal grandmother, to his mother, to me. That ring was always meant to be yours.”

Wren studied the ring, a soft smile of her own growing on her face. “It’s beautiful. I suppose it’s fitting,” she decided, meeting Narcissa’s eyes. “Being Draco’s favorite color... it only makes sense that his bride-to-be sports it. He also likes silver, if I’m not mistaken, so the band is fitting as well.”

There was a pause.

“I know he was cruel to you, Persephone.”

She couldn’t help but wonder if she meant the time in the gardens, during their time at Hogwarts, or whilst they grew up together.

“We have a plan in the works,” Narcissa continued. “Draco can fill you in. He’s clever, he thought it up himself,” she hesitated. “Would you go talk to him, Persephone?”

Wren studied Narcissa, considering. “Yes,” she eventually answered.

Narcissa nodded and exited.

The walk to Draco’s room was rather confusing, as she had no clue where to find it. 

She passed a house elf cleaning the banisters, and knelt down.

“Hello,” she greeted. The elf looked at her warily. “I’m Persephone,” she introduced herself.

“Oh! Yes, our new mistress Persephone. Please forgive Dilly, ma’am!” the elf cowered, making her heart break. She had a feeling that Lucius Malfoy’s cruelty wouldn’t make an exception for house elves.

Wren smiled kindly. “Hush, now,” she soothed. “I don’t mind. You don’t even have to call me mistress. Dilly, you said?” the elf nodded. “It’s nice to meet you, Dilly... do you perhaps know my elf, Poppy?”

The elf nodded. “Yes ma’am!” he squeaked. “Poppy told Dilly all about Mistress Persephone’s kindness! Poppy loves Mistress Persephone very much!”

“That makes me happy to hear, thank you,” she told the elf. “If you don’t mind me asking, where is Draco’s room?”

Dilly perked up. “Dilly can show you, ma’am! Is Master Malfoy expecting you?”

“I’m not sure,” she murmured, rising to her feet. “Would you care to walk with me, Dilly?” she reached her hand out for the elf to take.

“Yes ma’am!” he exclaimed, accepting her hand. 

As they walked, Dilly explained that he had been working for the Malfoy’s for many years. He held an obvious respect for the family, but Wren could see that it was built upon fear, regardless of if Dilly knew that or not.

When they arrived at Draco’s room, she looked down at Dilly, releasing her hand from his.

“Thank you, Dilly,” she said, grateful. “I’ll see you soon, hopefully!”

Dilly’s eyes lit up. “It was Dilly’s pleasure, Mistress Persephone!”

As Dilly ran off to finish her cleaning, Draco’s door opened.

He looked just as bad as when she saw him last. He wore his usual black suit, and his hands were in his pockets. 

“I’ll never understand your fascination with house elves,” he stated, the usual, insufferable tone in his voice.

“Must you always speak like you’re about to spit at someone?” 

He sneered, just as she predicted.

“Anyway, I’m not fascinated by them. I just think they’re such lovely souls. Especially my Poppy,” she was smiling.

“Why are you here Bardick?” Draco’s arms were crossed across his chest.

Wren’s brow crinkled. “To speak to you. Tomorrow we’re breaking the news of our engagement, after all.”

“I suppose you’ll be breaking up with Zabini then?”

She crinkled her nose. “Blaise and I are hardly even worthy of the term friends. Don’t get your knickers in a twist just because I rejected you for the ball and ended up taking him instead.”

Draco was still scowling. “Well, come in then,” he snapped, opening his door.

His room was as much of a prison as her’s was. 

Wren was baffled at how, despite living in the room for eighteen years, there was hardly any proof of his residence. His belonging were present, of course, but there was no personal style... it looked almost like a guest room rather than the room of the family heir.

They stood, awkwardly, across from each other until Wren turned to an armchair and sunk in it. 

“Your plan?” she wasted no time getting to business- after all, she knew that neither of them would make a move to acknowledge or apologize for the night in the gardens. It wasn’t their way. 

Draco sighed, going to sit on the edge of his extravagant bed, and running a hand over his face. He was frightened inside. 

“There’s a vanishing cabinet,” he began. “One in Borgin and Burkes.”

Wren nodded, aware of the plan immediately. It was hard not to hear about Montague’s near-death experience with the one in Hogwarts.

“So you’re sneaking them in the school,” she stated, prompting him to nod. “Before or after you kill our Headmaster?”

He was quiet. She already knew the answer- before. He would be grasping at any chance to have someone else take Dumbledore’s life.

“Draco, I know you’re-.”

“You don’t know anything,” he hissed. “He chose me! It’s my time!”

Wren ignored him. “As much as I hate to admit it, I’m here to help you. I know it’s scary, I know you don’t want to- hell, I don’t even want to help, but I don’t want to die. I couldn’t imagine having to carry out the deed.”

He was quiet, staring at her with an unreadable expression.

“So, this is Draco Malfoy’s room, hm? You should open the curtains more... you don’t look like you’ve seen the sun in ages.”

Malfoy smirked. “You’re one to talk, Bardick,” he teased, taking in the girl’s pale, sickly appearance. She swam in the large sweater she wore. As corpse-like as she could appear, her beauty could not be mistaken.

“I’ve been in the gardens every day, Draco,” she countered. “I’ve been busy.”

Draco almost looked... sympathetic. “It’s quite pathetic,” he commented. “Seeing you force yourself walk around for six hours.”

“You watch me in the garden, how sweet. Already so attentive of your bride-to-be.”

He snorted, a ghost of a smile on his face. He looked down at the ring.

“Have you eaten?” he asked, suddenly. 

“No,” she admitted. “Poppy must be looking for me. It’s around this time that I have to stomach my toast and apple.”

Draco shook his head, angry again. “You’re ridiculous,” he spat. “Think starving yourself would get you out of the mission, do you?”

“I’m not hungry.”

He stood suddenly, and walked forward to grab her wrist.

“Get off,” she ordered, a murderous edge to her voice. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“Having dinner with my fiancée,” he replied, through gritted teeth.