justafandomfollower

[justafandomfollower]

Everyone check out the amazing artwork to go with my fic!

I had an absolute honor to draw for The Case of the Bound Butler by lovely @justafandomfollower during @deadbangdetectives! Here are the cover and the illustration for the first chapter with more yet to come ✨ The story is awsome and will keep you on your toes, so go and give it a try! Especially if you, just like me, love a good exploration of Crystal & Edwin dynamic. Believe me, you definitely don't want to miss this one!

(In the meanwhile, I'm going to sit here and scratch my head, trying to figure out why every time I draw Edwin he is utterly miserable; probably because I relate to him too much. Ugh. Sorry, Edwin!)

[justafandomfollower]

When I'm Gone (I'll Carry You Home)

My first contribution to @deadbangdetectives, my Crystal-centric timeloop fic, has been posted, featuring beautiful artwork by @the-ipre! You can either read the first few scenes below or the whole thing here on AO3!

Summary: When Crystal begs Lilith to give her more time with Niko, the goddess grants her wish—by sending Crystal back to the moment before the Tongue & Tail explodes. Desperate to save her friends, Crystal lives through Esther’s attack again and again, trying to get all of them out unscathed.

Relationships: Crystal & Niko; Crystal & Monty; Crystal & Edwin; Crystal & Charles; Crystal & Esther

Rating: M

Warnings: Temporary character deaths (like a lot of them); Canon-typical violence

Word count: 22K

***

Crystal has never been able to see the future clearly.

She can touch someone’s hand and see that they had a fight with their partner that morning or that they’re thinking about quitting their job and traveling the world, but she can hardly ever see what’s going to happen next. Sometimes, she can see a quick flash of the future like when she saw Esther’s snake striking at Becky Aspen, but she usually doesn’t see enough to be helpful.

It turns out, being a psychic medium can be pretty fucking useless.

So when Esther’s spell hits Niko and she falls back into Crystal’s arms with a choking gasp, it isn’t the future Crystal sees when she touches her. It’s the lack of a future: millions of possibilities extinguished with the casual wave of a cruel woman’s hand. Calls that will never be made, movies that will never be watched, laughter that will never be shared, cases that will never be solved. 

She reads nothing when she presses her hands to Niko's chest to stop the bleeding, because there’s nothing left to read.

The void left by Niko—her love, her enthusiasm, her loneliness, her joy at being included, her fear for Edwin and Charles—is like a gaping wound. Crystal can feel it as she plunges into Esther’s memory to summon Lilith, as Esther ages centuries before her eyes, as Charles bursts out of the kitchen, so fucking happy and triumphant as he tells her the snake is dead. She can feel it as Lilith appears and starts to drag a screaming Esther away.

“Wait!” The cry rips itself from Crystal’s throat.

In the doorway, Lilith pauses, gripping a struggling Esther by the ankle. She turns to face Crystal, her expression as hard and unreadable as ever.

“Where’s her justice?” Crystal points to Niko's too-still body. She hears Charles make a punched-out noise as he notices her for the first time. “She didn’t deserve this. She was innocent.”

Lilith says nothing, just looks at Crystal with that blank face. Like she doesn’t even care. It makes Crystal want to shake her.

“Please.” Angry tears burn Crystal's eyes. “You protect wronged women and Niko was wronged. She deserves more time. We deserve more time. So, please help us. We need more time.”

“Crystal!” Charles calls, warning in his voice. “Don’t.”

Lilith flicks her hand almost dismissively, her expression not changing.

Crystal blinks.

***

1st loop

Crystal blinks.

She’s not standing in Esther’s house anymore but outside. The sky is blue above her—maybe for the first time since she got to Port Townsend—and there’s a couple walking past, him in a denim jacket and a matching baseball cap, her in a pretty burgundy coat. Crystal stares at them, wide-eyed and disoriented, and the woman gives her a worried look, like she thinks Crystal might lunge at them.

Spinning around, Crystal sees that she’s standing outside the Tongue & Tail, but that doesn’t make any sense. Did she go into some kind of trance, like she used to do when David was possessing her? Holy shit, is David not buried like she thought he was? Did he take control again? But where are Charles and Edwin? They wouldn’t just let David walk her body out of Esther’s house. Unless David did something to them?

“No,” Crystal whispers. She can’t lose Edwin and Charles, not after Niko. She can’t. “No, no, no.”

A horn honks and Crystal realizes she’s standing in the street. She jerks back and a dark green Subaru with a dented front bumper drives past. The woman in the passenger seat flips her off. Crystal raises her arm to return the gesture automatically, only then realizing she has her bag draped over her shoulder.

Her gaze snaps back to the Tongue & Tail. The windows are unshattered, with no sign of the destruction that happened only hours ago. There’s no way Jenny got everything cleaned up so fast, is there? And she remembers seeing the red Mini Cooper that’s parked out front after the explosion. Its windows were broken by the blast, but it’s sitting whole and undamaged now, like nothing ever happened.

“What the fuck?” Crystal mutters.

The windows of the Tongue & Tail explode outwards and Crystal flinches back, raising her arms over her head to block her face out of instinct. Vaguely, she’s aware of the couple running past her as the Mini Cooper’s alarm begins to wail. Crystal lowers her arms, staring at the smoke billowing from the butcher shop. This doesn’t make any sense. Why would someone blow up Jenny’s shop twice?

Esther Finch walks out of the billowing cloud of smoke, as easy as you please. Unlike the shriveled, skeletal husk Crystal watched Lilith drag away only moments ago, this Esther is in her prime, as blond and vibrant as ever. She’s smiling as she carries a glass box with two little glowing balls inside. Charles and Edwin, Crystal realizes. Esther starts to saunter across the street, without a care in the world, like she’s not carrying two ghosts off to be tortured.

Like this all hasn’t happened before.

There’s no time for Crystal to think about why this is all happening again. There’s no time to plan. Dropping her bag in the middle of the street, she runs towards Esther. Like hell is she going to let Charles end up back in that kitchen, wide-eyed and wincing as his iron collar burned him. Or Edwin, screaming and begging as Esther’s machine sucked the energy out of him. Or Niko—

Esther turns at Crystal’s approach. When she sees her, she scoffs and rolls her eyes. “You. Aren’t you supposed to be halfway back to wherever you’re from by now?” She flicks a dismissive glance up and down, drawing her pipe from her pocket and popping it in her mouth casually. “Wherever it is, I hope they’ll have better clothes.”

“Let them go, Esther.” Crystal comes to a stop in front of her, blocking her path. She doesn’t have any weapons, but she kicked Esther’s ass in the Tall Forest; she can do it again. She will, if it means saving her friends.

“And why would I do that? Because you’re going to feed me to another giant mushroom? Been there, hon. You’re going to have to do better this time.” Esther’s voice drops to a whisper. “Between you and me, I think you did me a favor. If you’d let your little ghost boys get eaten by Teethface, I never would have known that the uptight one survived Hell. It would have been nice if one of you had told me that earlier. We could have saved so much time.”

In the constant blare of the car alarm, Crystal thinks she hears an echo of Edwin’s screams. No, that’s not happening again. With a yell of rage, she launches herself at Esther. If she can just break the glass box and free the boys—

A faceful of smoke hits Crystal and she stumbles back with a cough. Esther removes her pipe from her mouth and smirks at Crystal.

“Sorry about that,” Esther says, flicking her pipe and pocketing it again. “This has been really fun. Actually, no it hasn’t. I’m fucking bored of you by now. I don’t have any need of you, child. Just your little ghost friends.”

Crystal tries to lunge at her again, but her entire body has gone numb. She slumps forward, her legs going boneless under her, and falls face-first on the pavement, her cheek scraping painfully. She stares at Esther’s shoes, which are only inches from her face. Esther nudges her forehead with the toe of one of her shoes and chuckles.

“Now, that’s better,” Esther says. “Don’t fight it this time. It’s much easier if you just go to sleep.”

Crystal has no choice but to obey.

***

“Crystal!”

Crystal’s eyes snap open. She’s lying on the floor of Esther’s kitchen, staring up at the ceiling. Her cheek stings and when she reaches up to touch it, her arm feeling like jelly, her fingers come away covered with blood and grit.

“Fuck. Crystal, you need to get up!”

Crystal looks around and finds Charles tied up right where he was last time, the same iron collar around his throat. He tries to reach for her, grimacing as the iron makes his skin hiss and smoke. She tries to open her mouth to tell him not to hurt himself, but her tongue feels heavy and useless in her mouth, like someone replaced it with a lead weight while she was asleep.

“You need to get out of here.” Charles’s eyes are wild with desperation. “Go, run. Find Niko and get the fuck out of Port Townsend.”

“Oh, I don’t think so.” Esther appears in Crystal’s line of sight, smiling smugly. She’s wearing a little lab coat, like she’s on her way to teach chemistry class. “She’s a little old for my Slitherbug, but meat is meat.”

“Don’t you dare.” Charles’s voice cracks. “Don’t you fucking dare, or when I get out of here, I’ll…”

“Oh, hon, you’re never getting out of here.” Esther’s voice takes on a sing-song quality. “Shoot, didn’t you realize? No, you’re going to sit right here and listen to your friend scream for the rest of eternity. The one in the other room, I mean. This one’s snake food.”

Crystal needs to sit up. She needs to get Charles and Edwin free. She needs to—

Esther grabs her by the hair and hauls her towards the nearest kitchen cabinet, which is open, revealing nothing but a black void. Tears spring to Crystal’s eyes as her hair tears from her scalp in Esther’s grip, but she can’t even lift an arm to try and protect herself. Charles is screaming and begging Esther to stop and Crystal can’t even try to reassure him.

Esther shoves her through the cabinet and then Crystal is falling.

She lands on her back in a bed of children’s toys and tiny bones, all the breath knocked out of her at the impact. There’s a tiny, pink bike decorated with Barbie doll stickers only inches from her face. A little yellow sneaker lies on the ground by its front wheel. Crystal wonders if they belonged to the same little girl.

There’s the slide of a massive body across the ground and the crunch of child-sized bones being crushed underneath it. Crystal can’t see it, but she knows the snake is coming. She can almost feel its hunger hanging heavy in the air. 

She feels something flicker against her ear. Its tongue. She wants to shrink away, but she can’t move, can only stare at the faded stickers dotting the bike. “You can do anything!” one of them reads under a picture of Barbie dressed like an astronaut. Maybe the little girl who owned the bike wanted to be an astronaut. Maybe she would have been.

The snake hisses and Crystal closes her eyes, braced for the strike. A tear rolls down her cheek.

Somewhere far above, she can still hear Charles screaming for her as teeth pierce her right through the heart.

***

2nd loop

A horn blares and Crystal’s eyes snap open. The green Subaru drives by, the woman in the passenger seat flipping her off as it passes. Gasping for breath, her heart pounding, Crystal turns in a slow circle. She’s outside the Tongue & Tail, not currently being devoured by a snake. The sky is blue. The man in the denim jacket and the woman in the burgundy coat are staring at her again. The front windows of the butcher shop haven’t been shattered yet.

Crystal drops her bag and sprints for the Tongue & Tail.

She finds Niko and Jenny sitting at the table while the boys stand by the wall, talking in low voices. All four of them turn as Crystal bursts inside, the door ricocheting off the wall in her rush.

“Crystal!” Niko bounces to her feet and throws her arms around Crystal’s neck. She smells like strawberries, just like she did the last time Crystal hugged her goodbye. Not blood. Not yet. “Did you change your mind? Good, because you were really unconvincing when you said you would text me back.”

“Are you back?” Charles looks so hopeful. Crystal remembers him screaming her name as the snake struck.

“We need to get out of here.” Crystal grabs Niko’s hand and hauls her towards the kitchen. If she can get them out the back door, they should be able to get to Jenny’s car, which is parked out back.

“Crystal, what’s wrong?” Edwin’s forehead furrows in a frown. He must see the look on her face, because he doesn't even make a scathing comment.

“Esther's coming.” Crystal shoves Niko through the doorway into the kitchen, ignoring her squeak of alarm.

“Esther?” Charles reaches into his coat to grab the handle of the cricket bat. “She got eaten by that giant mushroom, yeah? She should be trapped in another realm.”

“Not eaten enough! Edwin, come on! She’s after you.”

That gets Charles moving. He draws his cricket bat with one hand and pulls Edwin closer to him with the other.

“Esther Finch?” Finally, Jenny stands up. “What about her?”

“She's a witch,” Charles tells her, herding Edwin after Crystal and Niko.

“Are you kidding me?” Jenny looks between them, dismayed. “I thought she was just an asshole.”

“Oh, that’s not nice.”

Crystal whirls around, her grip on Niko's wrist tightening enough that she’s sure it hurts.

Esther stands in the middle of Jenny's kitchen, the glass box in her hand. The back door into the kitchen is open behind her. Of course she came through the back door, Crystal realizes. She would have noticed Esther strolling through the front door. Jenny always keeps the back door locked, but that wouldn't matter to a witch.

“And here I always thought we were friends.” Esther sticks her lower lip out in a pout. “Oh, shoot, it looks like another surprise was ruined. Was it Monty again? I’m going to turn that little crow into a pillow.”

Charles steps forward, placing himself between Esther and the others with his cricket bat raised in front of him. “I don’t know what you want, but we already kicked your arse once. We'll do it again if you make us.”

“No, she kicked my ass.” Esther points at Crystal. “All you did was cry and hold your little boyfriend's hand, sweetie. It was cute. Pathetic, but cute.”

Crystal shoves her way past Charles, because she wants to be between him and that glass box in Esther's hands. “I know what you're trying to do and it won’t work.”

Esther raises an eyebrow. “You do, do you?”

“You want to use Edwin's pain as your magical battery,” Crystal says and behind her, Charles hisses. “You want to torture him so you can turn him into a fucked up energy drink. It won’t fucking work. All it will do is get you dragged off by Lilith. Is that what you want?”

Esther’s smile reminds Crystal of a shark. “If I ever listened when people tell me it’s ‘not going to work’ my bones would be dust by now. But nice try.”

Her hand fills with glowing light, which she tosses to the ground with a casual flick of her wrist, sending a shockwave tearing through the room. Everything—knives, the metal counters, the sausages hanging on the wall—goes flying. Crystal is knocked backwards by what feels like a car slamming into her. Hands grab her to stop her from falling, pulling her into a tight embrace.

“I’ve got you,” Charles says, one arm holding her close, and then he’s gone. Crystal feels him pass right through her, his body made horribly insubstantial. She screams as she falls, her head ricocheting off the edge of the counter. Ears ringing, she slides to the ground.

Through a haze of smoke, she sees Esther Finch snap her glass and iron box closed, wearing a smug little smile. The witch meets Crystal’s eyes and winks before turning and sauntering through the back door, the tiny, glowing forms of Edwin and Charles flickering frantically in the trap.

Crystal doesn’t know how long she lies there, stunned, her head throbbing and stars dancing in front of her vision. It’s not until she hears a horrible, wrenching sob that she forces herself to sit up, head spinning. Esther and the boys are nowhere to be seen. Jenny is kneeling a few feet away and she’s making a noise that Crystal never thought she would hear from her. She’s sobbing, her shoulders shuddering and her hands slick with blood.

Because she’s kneeling in front of Niko’s prone form.

No.

“Niko,” Crystal thinks she says, though her voice sounds distant and echoing. “Niko.”

There’s a butcher knife buried right in the center of Niko’s chest. Her hands are pressed to the wound and she’s wheezing, eyes wide and shocky. And there’s so much blood. Crystal thought there was a lot of blood last time she watched Niko die, but that was nothing. Blood drenches Niko’s white outfit and her white hair and her small, pale hands and the floor around her.

“Niko,” Crystal says again and tries to cover Niko’s hands with hers, pressing down on the wound, even though she already knows what’s going to happen. She recognizes the glassy look in Niko’s eyes, like she’s already gone. Niko is going to bleed out in front of her again. She’s going to lose her again.

“We need to call an ambulance.” Jenny's voice shakes. “Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.”

It takes Niko longer to bleed out in Crystal’s arms this time as sirens wail in the distance and Crystal can only think, More time, more time, more time.

***

Read the rest on AO3!

[justafandomfollower]

The Case of Paul Rowland

Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Charles Rowland & Paul Rowland | Charles Rowland's Father, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Crystal Palace & Charles Rowland & Niko Sasaki Characters: Charles Rowland (DCU), Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Crystal Palace (DCU), Niko Sasaki, Paul Rowland | Charles Rowland's Father Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Charles Rowland Whump (DCU), Child Abuse, Case Fic, Character Study, Bad Parent Paul Rowland | Charles Rowland's Father, Self-Esteem Issues, Charles Rowland Has Anger Issues (DCU), Homophobia, Protective Charles Rowland (DCU), Protective Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Self-Sacrificing Charles Rowland Summary: Newly-dead Paul Rowland turns up at the Dead Boy Detective Agency, looking for answers about his son's death. Charles insists they take the case, and use it - and Crystal and Niko's help - to expose as many of the deaths St. Hilarion's has covered up as possible.

Part of @deadbangdetectives and featuring art by @sofablob!

[justafandomfollower]

The Case of the Faceless Ghosts - Chapter 1

Chapters: 1/6 Chapter Title: 1 - Marshland Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland, Crystal Palace/Niko Sasaki, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Niko Sasaki, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Crystal Palace & Charles Rowland & Niko Sasaki, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Crystal Palace Characters: Charles Rowland (DCU), Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Crystal Palace (DCU), Niko Sasaki, Original Characters Additional Tags: Case Fic, Memory Loss, Mind Control, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Worldbuilding, Kidnapping, (technically) - Freeform, Self-Esteem Issues, Loss of Identity, Canon-Typical Violence, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Niko Sasaki Lives, Charles Rowland Whump (DCU), Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne Loves Charles Rowland, Charles Rowland Loves Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, 5+1 Things, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant Summary: Charles keeps waking up in places he has no memory of going to, with no idea of how long he's been gone or what he's done, and no good answers for Edwin when he makes it back to the office. Meanwhile, they've picked up a case - faceless ghosts are causing trouble in all sorts of places. Or, five times Charles disappears and turns back up on his own, plus one time Edwin goes and finds him first. Chapter Summary: Charles comes to in a marsh, and takes some time to think. When he gets back to the office, Crystal turns up with a newly-returned Niko, and the agency picks up a case.

Part of @deadbangdetectives, featuring art by @atariakana-art in chapters 1 and 5!

[justafandomfollower]

happy pride month my friends <3

[justafandomfollower]

WIP WORD TRAIN

Rules: Tagger gives a word, then for each letter of that word you share a sentence/excerpt from your WIPs that starts with that letter. Tagged with the word SAMPLES by @arrow-jsy, thank you! These are all from my most recent WIP which I haven't posted anything of, where edwin gets turned into a demon instead of escaping hell the first time 😈

S: Sharp claws and needlelike teeth dig into his limbs as he frantically tries to swat them away.

A: "All of Hell’s riches yearn to return there eventually, no matter whom they drag along with them on the way.”

M: Maybe it’s just the influence of having a Lust demon bound to him, but Charles has found himself watching Edwin with more than just curiosity.

P: Pain sighs gratefully and steps out of the circle, rolling his neck and shaking out his leathery bat wings with a few cracks and a great whoof.

L: Luckily for his nerves, it’s only another few moments until one of the windows opens and two obsidian-black horns poke out.

E: Every inch of his body language, from the wings flared out to claws digging into his crossed arms, screams DO NOT APPROACH.

S: “Since you are so clearly determined to view me in the worst light possible, perhaps I should propose a deal. Your pain for mine!”

i tag @dear-monday, @ghostinthelibrarywrites, @justafandomfollower and anyone else who wants to play with the word DEMON

[justafandomfollower]

WIP WORD TRAIN

Rules: Tagger gives a word, then for each letter of that word you share a sentence/excerpt from your WIPs that starts with that letter.

@handwrittenhello tagged me with the word DEMON—thank you!

These sentences are from an unpublished DBDA WIP I'm writing for Fandom Trumps Hate:

D: Drawing out his notebook—perfectly dry—he quirks a tiny satisfied grin at the sight of it and tucks it back into his pocket. E: Edwin blinks at him incredulously. "Since when has that been a skill you wished to acquire?" M: Maddy Surname and Seth von Hoverkraft had been thrilled to see Crystal in Boston too. They'd just also been incredibly distracted with their work. O: "Only barely! He grew up knowing what they are!" Charles actually isn't too sure about that one, but he knows there had been planes in World War I, so even if Edwin hadn't known what they were as a kid he'd certainly have heard of them by the time he'd died. N: Niko's neat, bubbly handwriting covers the thing completely, filling every centimeter of the space. The note proclaims that she and Edwin had headed out to the flat she shares with Crystal.

I'm no-pressure tagging @starsandatoms, @fairandfatalasfair, and @e-vasong, and anyone else who wants to join in with the word GHOSTS!

[justafandomfollower]

Everyone check out the amazing fanart from @meips-batteries-are-low to go with my @deadbangdetectives Mini Bang fic!!!

My contribution to @deadbangdetectives !! My fanart was made in collaberation with the lovely @justafandomfollower for her fic, Tongue & Tusk :-))))

[justafandomfollower]

WIP Wednesday

Here, have a delayed response to @ayotofu tagging me last week! Here's a snippet from the next chapter of my Wayward Hopes fic. No pressure tagging @forlorn-kumquat, @thejakeformerlyknownasprince, @catalists and anyone else who wants to join in and share their work!

“Are you serious, Gray?” Jefferson’s tone was incredulous as he stood them with their back to Goldenridge, his hushed exclamation dropped off the edge of the mesa for no one but Martin to hear. Martin was surprised with himself too. But he had been a scientist once and he was startled to realize how much he’d missed that life, how much the longing inside him was nearly as strong as the fear. “Think of the opportunity this represents!” he said. “The ability to predict earthshifts is completely unprecedented. It could revolutionize more than just the Barrens.” “You’d know more about that than me,” Jefferson muttered skeptically. He chanced a glance over their shoulder, but the guide who’d followed them up, Kendra Saunders, was still some distance away, chatting with Ms. Simmons. There was little chance she could hear them. Or, hear Jefferson, at any rate. “All the more reason to accompany Mr. Hunter!” Martin exclaimed. He knew Jefferson well enough to know the source of the young man’s skepticism and could feel the distrust wrapped around his shoulders like a brace, keeping Firestorm taut with tension. He shifted tactics. “In any case, we are due for a run through the Barrens. And it is not as if we cannot return at any point, if only for a quick trip.” “Didn’t strike me as the kinda man who’d be okay with us wandering off.” Jefferson’s tone was still a dull mutter, quiet through habit. He had returned their gaze to the horizon, which in this case happened to be east. Martin sent a gentle nudge of physical intent through their bond, pretending as if he still had a physical body to control. Jefferson went along with it and turned their head to the south; the Barrens stretched out before them in that direction, the brown, dry expanse of land seemingly endless. The lack of water wasn’t an issue for them at the speeds they could fly—and with their ability to transmute the minerals around them to pure water. The heat didn’t wear them down the way it did others. The dangers of the desert were few, for Firestorm.

[justafandomfollower]

Handing out flowers in the DBDA fandom today 👻 🔎

🌻

What a lovely thought! Thank you so much for thinking of me and sending one my way���have a flower in return!

🌺

[justafandomfollower]

Chapters: 4/8 Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne & Crystal Palace & Charles Rowland & Niko Sasaki, Charles Rowland & Niko Sasaki, David the Demon (Dead Boy Detectives)/Crystal Palace (DCU) Characters: Charles Rowland (DCU), Niko Sasaki, Crystal Palace (DCU), Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, David the Demon (Dead Boy Detectives) Additional Tags: Demon Spider Made Out Of Baby Doll Heads (Dead Boy Detectives) (minor), Paul Rowland (minor), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe – No Ghosts, Magic, Vampires, Vampire Charles Rowland (DCU), Half-Sprite Niko Sasaki, Psychic Crystal Palace, Mage Edwin Payne, Loneliness, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Protectiveness, Grief/Mourning, Anxiety, Self-Sacrifice, Blood Drinking, Child Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Blood and Injury, Torture, Homelessness, Possession, Canon-Typical Violence, Bad Parent Paul Rowland | Charles Rowland's Father, Hurt Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Hurt Charles Rowland (DCU) Summary:

Four lonely teenagers—a psychic girl with no real friends, a fledgling vampire scared of the future his parents have chosen for him, a half-human, half-sprite girl far from home, and a human mage trapped in a place where escape seems impossible—meet in London by chance. Each, on their own, can’t solve the problems in front of them. Maybe together, things will finally start to change.

New chapter is up!

[justafandomfollower]

WIP Wednesday Monday??

thanks @fivedayslater for the tag. im gonna spice it up a little, though, and do something from my stranger things fic :D tagging @justafandomfollower @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @danielwaldorf and anyone else who wants to be tagged!

this is part of this fic

--

If Steve didn't make it back alive, Eddie would kill his bandmates.

Well, Gareth for sure. Jeff was winning back some points by helping with Robin and yelling at Gareth. Nate was a little iffy, but at least he could acknowledge that Gareth was being a shithead.

It should have been vindicating. Jeff and Nate acknowledging, however tacitly, that he was right. This whole time, he was right.

Eddie pushed at the pedals of the bike. Steve could already be dead. All he had left was the icy fear for his friend (his Stevie) and the boiling anger at his oldest friend. Between those two roiling emotions, Eddie didn't have the space for vindication or schadenfreude or even joy at the thought that Steve had nearly kissed him. Instead, he had a fear that almost stopped him in his tracks and sent him careening back to Steve. The anger, at least, gave him the steam to keep moving forward.

At the very, very least, Gareth wasn't talking. Eddie was pretty sure that the next time Gareth opened his mouth, Eddie would fly off this bicycle and kick Gareth in the face.

"Is… Is he gonna die?" Gareth said.

Okay, so maybe Eddie overpromised himself there.

Eddie slammed on the bike breaks and whipped his head to stare at the person who was once his best friend in the whole world. "Yeah, probably. Because of you."

[justafandomfollower]

I think that Crystal is bi, but it's cruicially important to me that she sucks at it. She has absolutely no idea what to do with her feelings towards anyone, ever, for any reason, but pretty girls break her brain in a special way.

She genuinely cannot disinguish between attraction and envy when there's a pretty girl in her orbit, and it doesn't really matter, because she hates both of those feelings. She's not about to let some beautiful girl with huge doe eyes break her heart, or steal all the boys' attention, OR distract her to throw her off her game, no siree, absolutely not. All pretty girls activate Crystal's Mortal Kombat mode. It's kill or be killed out there.

That's why Niko is so special; she comes into Crystal's life during the one moment when Crystal is in a space to regard a girl of her own age as a friend, not a threat or a rival or a future heartbreak. It's probably the first time in years Crystal has had a real friendship with another girl.

I don't even really ship them, I'm just so sure that they're important to each other. I think Niko offer Crystal almost the exact same thing she offers Edwin. It's a chance at sometime soft and gentle and sweet, something they've never had before.

[justafandomfollower]

It is not my belief as a general rule that Charles knew he was in love with Edwin before Port Townsend, but I do firmly believe that if Charles did know, he would not have told Edwin before Edwin told him.

I do think it’s entirely possible for him to come out as bi to Edwin without Edwin having come out to him first - this isn’t about him not feeling as safe with Edwin as Edwin feels with him, or anything like that. But I do not think he would tell Edwin he’s in love with him, without already knowing Edwin was receptive to that. Because like… the way they express their love for each other (love-general, not specifically love-romantic) is different.

Edwin loves Charles mostly additively: emphasizing his positive emotions towards and around Charles, praising him, indulging him (eg on boxing and with Crystal), trying to increase his positive experiences.

Charles loved Edwin mostly subtractively: suppressing his negative emotions towards and around Edwin, trying to stop people saying or doing bad things to Edwin, trying to stop Edwin from stressing (as opposed to comforting him through stress), generally trying to protect Edwin from negative experiences - including negative experiences of Charles.

As a sort of example of the difference here, when Charles is dying, Edwin tries to help by adding positive experiences - by giving him conversation as a distraction, reading to him, giving him a blanket, giving him a lantern, giving him knowledge to prepare him. Whereas Charles, caring for Edwin in Hell, tries to subtract negative experiences. Attack the Spider so it can’t hurt Edwin again, keep Edwin on track to avoid prolonging the general negative experience of Hell, etc.

Some of that is situational, of course - but the fact remains that if Charles had found Edwin dying in an attic, I very much doubt he would have accepted Edwin’s death as inevitable and just tried to make it as pleasant as possible. He would have done everything he possibly could to stop Edwin from dying at all, even if that could never have worked and ended up just making Edwin’s death more lonely and miserable than it had to be.

(There is in fact a very major, very stark, large-scale thematic thing here: Edwin tries to encourage Charles to go to Heaven. Charles tries to stop Edwin from being taken to Hell.)

To be clear I am not saying either of these approaches is better than the other, they’re just different. In the attic case, Edwin’s approach could have resulted in Charles dying when it wasn’t actually inevitable, while Charles’s could’ve resulted in an inevitable death being awful instead of gentle. It’s all in the way the cookie crumbles.

(I’m also not saying that these are absolutes; Edwin does in some ways love Charles subtractively - eg I’ve written before about how carefully Edwin regulates his expressions of anger around Charles - and Charles does in some ways love Edwin additively - eg the way he avoids negative emotions is by putting on a smile and keeping spirits up. I’m just describing the primary focus of their approaches.)

Annnyway,

For Edwin, who loves additively, letting Charles know he is romantically-loved without any expectation of reciprocation is an act of general-love. Charles should know how loved he is! This is a gift.

For Charles, who loves subtractively, letting Edwin know he is romantically-loved without any expectation of reciprocation would be making him uncomfortable, off-balance, pressured. Edwin shouldn’t have to know about Charles’s weird, unwanted (by Edwin) feelings. That would be a burden.

(Again, no one’s black and white, so Edwin does worry about Charles feeling uncomfortable, just not more than he feels that Charles should know.)

The point being… while I don’t think Charles knew he like-liked Edwin before Port Townsend, I do think he wouldn’t have told Edwin if he had, because it would be a very strange universe in which Charles professed romantic-love before Edwin. Because he would see his love not as a gift he should give, but a burden he should prevent.

[justafandomfollower]

I watched Leverage for the first time way too young, and a lot of things went over my head. I just rewatched "The Future Job" from Leverage and something about this scene just hit me.

The way they broke down the mysticism around the predatory psychic for Parker feels so intentional both in character and out of character.

In character, they do not judge Parker for falling for the con. The team is supportive and kind as they explain how a cold read works to her. They break it down for her step by step. They never belittle her nor do they pry about her past. This approach makes sense for Parker as a charcter, and it's sweet to see her friends try to help her through a difficult moment this way.

And out of character, it's kind of like they are telling the audience "it's okay if you've fallen prey to this scam. We're living in hard times and this is exceedingly cruel even by our standards. You aren't stupid, you are human. Here's some tools to avoid being tricked like this in the future". I cannot tell you the number of times I've realized I was being manipulated because of how this scene stuck with me.

I love the writers of Leverage, but something about this episode always makes me feel like the writers truly cared for their audience. I'm not sure if this was intentional or if I'm reading into it. But damn I think about this scene a lot.

[justafandomfollower]

Anniversary of APOLLO 11 MOON LANDING

On July 20, 1969, 109 hours and 42 minutes after launch, Neil Armstrong and Edwin ‘Buzz’ Aldrin entered the lunar lander ‘Eagle’, made a final check, and the Eagle undocked from the lunar orbiter ‘Columbia’, where the third member of the crew Michael Collins, stayed in orbit around the moon. Partially manually piloted by Armstrong, the Eagle landed 0 degrees, 41 minutes, 15 seconds north moon latitude and 23 degrees, 26 minutes east moon longitude. Armstrong stepped out, and Aldrin followed 20 minutes later: human beings stepped on the moon for the first time. The two men spent 21 hours and 26 minutes on its surface. One of the astounding aspects of the mission was the seeming simplicity of the technology used to get man to the moon. According to Oliver Gassmann, professor of Technology Management, the mobile phone in your pocket has one million times more memory than the Apollo 11’s computer. Same about the procesor: the latest phones typically have more than 100,000 times the processing power of the computer that landed man on the moon 50 years ago.

“It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.” –Neil Armstrong

(gifs from the documentary Chasing The Moon, 2019)

[justafandomfollower]

If you're reading this...

go write three sentences on your current writing project.