#my emotions are complicated

[stargirl230]

thanks for the light

I was just trying to figure out how procreate works but then the op brainworms got to me and 35 hours later here we are! can you tell I miss home-cooked meals :')

(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)

[questions-im-scared-to-ask]

I've found that I have some regrets.

I regret telling you how i felt, because those words can't be unsaid. Because those words lead to a flirtatious attitude between us. One that was fueled by years of my pent up desire. And those words lead to the actions that followed.

I regret that I let you kiss me, not a small soft kind kiss, but a longing passionate one. One that stole my breath and the strength in my knees. And the kisses that followed were just as full, but more steady each time as the nervousness left us and we forgot the world.

I regret that i held you, because now I can never forget that feeling. Your head cradled to my chest, the content sigh as you relaxed. Feeling something you've wanted. Hopefully it was everything you hoped.

I regret our meetings, those moments stolen when no one was there. In the car, in your bed. The look in your eyes as I kept you from pushing your boundaries, it made me ache.

I regret not being more careful.

Because now my heart is bruised again.

It will heal, and I will be fine. We'll be as we ever were. But these regrets linger because every part of us was taken from me too soon.

I knew going in that I would never be the one, that i was just something to distract in the moment. That I would never be what you really wanted. And that's okay. I set myself up for that, and I knew it going in.

But the worst part in all this is that I now know just how much i love you. Though those words and more you will never hear. Because I refuse to use your guilt to sway your heart. So instead I leave them here. Because I don't know what else to do with them.

Where should I say that I love the way you laugh, that it's infectious and always makes me smile. That I like the creases at your eyes when you smile, or get that intense frustrated look when you're working. That your voice makes me feel safe, among other things, but it always brings me peace. You calm the storm in me that others created and make it easier for me to center myself and move forward. Just the touch of your hand as it holds mine is enough to send me to tears. I've never felt someone as gentle as you, and I only wish I could have been better at saying it.

You don't fix my problems. Nor could I ever expect or ask that of you. But you give me support in solving them myself.

I know I am broken, and those jagged edges of me are what keeps us apart in the end. But they're the parts I can't fix, though I've spent my life trying.

And it hurts.

But my pain is not your burden. It's mine.

So as I cary it, i will stay as your friend. As i always have been. Happy for your success, and there to be at your side when you fall.

I'll stay with you for as long as you will allow me.

[kaijugroupy]

ok but hear me out. how fun and crazy would it actually be if we talked about asexuality as a spectrum more?

consider this? aces who like sex but don't like being touched themselves? aces liking and getting off on pain stimulation but not pleasure stimulation? Aces who don't like getting off but like sex? Aces who use a one to ten scale to gauge sexual ability but never fully make it to ten. Aces who are happy at a level seven, or four, or two. Aces who like some aspects of sex but not all. Aces who get bored in the middle of sex and stop. Aces who are super into over the clothes stimulation. Aces with boundaries.

[turbo-tsundere]

*superglues them together*

Aka, eeeeh fok it. Here's some ougoku stuff I've been sitting on. Happy THOSE GUYS day.

[shorthaltsjester]

watching the sdcc panel and i am just very :) about how sweet their answers to “what are some of the micro moments from the game that have stuck with you the most over the years?” are. taliesin saying what the fuck is up with that which was the first like The Party Gets To Know Each Other moments of c3. travis saying asking his wife if he could kiss her in campaign. marisha going way back to the cannonball competition in campaign one. ashley choosing the beauyasha date but also just the silly goat noise matt made. liam adding onto that to compliment matt roleplaying grass so well and then saying his favourite moment was writing a story for laura and reading it to her as caleb for jester. and then matt saying that was his answer, and that his favourite moments of the game are when they find ways to give gifts to each other whether tangible or not. and sam saying his favourite moments have less to do with the story and is more so when he can just. see his friends across the table from him. when marisha perches and when laura and ashley are (badly) drawing dicks and liam saying he loves when sam sneezes and ashley tells him to stop it and just. yeah. they Are an extremely popular online powerhouse, but i’m so happy that they’re also friends building a world together out of gifts to and love for one another.

like i Am so enamoured with the characters and the world of exandria but the moments when you can feel the love that those people have for each other reach out from behind the stained glass of their performances (to steal a metaphor from brennan lee mulligan) are so extremely special and i am endlessly grateful that they decided to share their silly little home game with the world.

[marzipanandminutiae]

as a woman who grew up with an emotionally abusive mother constantly telling me I needed to wear more makeup/more revealing clothing/date (boys) more/go out to "normal" parties more, I despise "she should be at the club"

god forbid some people- especially young women, who already have to deal with a thousand different behavioral standards from a thousand different directions -not have the same dreams and desires for their lives as you do for yours

fucking hell. the correct response to "women should stay at home and have kids and be submissive wives" prescriptivism was not MORE PRESCRIPTIVISM

(I also just saw a poll asking if people partied as teenagers, and OP responded that the answers were "killing them" because No was winning. like? why is everyone so personally invested in other people having a very specific kind of fun?)

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

broke: haru hates akechi and doesn't talk to him ever again after he comes back

woke: haru chooses to be kind without forgiveness and akechi doesn't know how to live with her genuine compassion because it'd be so much easier if she hated him instead

[veveisveryuncool]

HII ok so would anyone believe me if i said i'm like 17 pages into my Moominvalley S4 rewrite......

yeah so! here are some fake storyboards i've come up with for a few of the episodes i have plotted out! right now, i've only got about half the episodes with a rough plot, but i've written a crap ton of analysis for each character arc, episode, and overall narrative and how they could be improved, especially since i felt really... unsatisfied with the final season? it didn't feel like a satisfying conclusion to the characters nor story as a whole (due to a lottt of problems, but i think i've rambled about them for too long lol), so i plan to rewrite that fourth season through a mix of art and writing to attempt to give this show the impactful ending it deserves :]

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

Lucanis' demon being Spite is as much a telling characterization as Anders'.

"We tortured you for a year to force a demon on you and what came from it? Something epic like Vengeance or Rage? No. Spite. Small, petty, vindictive pleasures in our discomfort and downfall."

It makes sense that Spite isn't as effectively a threat.

[pepperpixel]

SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS,

BUT HE HATES WHEN I ACT CRAZY,

IT TAKES TWO TO TOXIC!

FINALLY!!! Finished these pics of jinx I’ve been working on!!!!! HOLY SHIT, these took so long…. But finally… they’re done… pls enjoy this art of my beautiful princess w a disorder. Featuring alternate colors for the big pic and also a closeup! Cuz I rlly like how both the lines and coloring on her face turned out… like the pink gradients w her eye… her deer in headlights expression,, like uve just startled a raccoon digging thru ur trashcan and r two seconds away from getting mauled.. m proud of it!

[fycoren]

[thelilylav]

He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

(He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother, The Hollies)

My art, The World at Its Beginning (Dustin Pearson), The Tyrant's Tomb (Rick Riordan), The Fall of the House of Usher (Steven Berkoff), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Leto and her Children (William Henry Rinehart), The Moon Had No Light of its Own (Imaginary Future), My Love Mine All Mine (Mitski), Untitled (Lyra Wren), The Tyrant's Tomb (Rick Riordan), Electra (Sophocles), To Forgive (The Smashing Pumpkins), Unknown, The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), The Sun is Also a Star (Nicola Yoon), Doomed From the Beginning (@/veniennes on tiktok), On learning to write professionally (Interview with Jazmine Hughes by The Creative Independent), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), My art

[bonefall]

Stormclan is pretty cool, I’m glad they are a direct result of the clans and not Rouge Group 255674385 that pops up like Minecraft mobs at night

Didn’t ivypool kill beetlewhisker? Will they remember it

The mental image of playing minecraft and Darktail spawns on your roof like a spider, refusing to leave in the daylight and making annoying chittering noises, is magical thank you.

Anyway nah, that was Brokenstar. Ivypool killed Antpelt, not Beetlewhisker. I have doubts they're going to remember that though, and if they do, it'll be one of those "don't worry guys we TOTALLY remember the events in our series!" throwaway lines we've been getting recently. The type that's thought in her head or thrown out in passing, but doesn't significantly contribute to Ivypool's emotional struggle.

I think Ivypool's actually the part of this SE that I'm most apprehensive about, funny enough. StormClan's got me pretty excited, but my hopes kinda started falling when I found out Dovewing was going on the road trip. I do not like the story that the Erins tell between the sisters, and I feel like they keep getting forced together to "reconcile their differences" when it would make a MUCH more effective story for the two of them to not do that.

See, what I like about Ivypool is that she's grudge-holding and spiteful. I LIKE that she tried to leverage her sisterhood with Dovewing in ASC to try and make her manipulate her husband. I find the fact she tried to sabotage SkyClan's chances at the lake back in AVoS to halt Dovewing and Tigerheart's relationship, slighting her apprentice in the process, to be COMPELLING.

I ENJOY reading about Ivypool being nasty. Both a victim of the Dark Forest who was targeted because she felt alienated, and yet, someone who has found a way to use Clan culture's most unfair aspects to her advantage. She'll NEVER see herself as the bully she actually is, because in her eyes, she's permanently the underdog.

so... I just have absolutely no desire to see Dovewing and Ivypool be "close."

Every time it happens on the page, it feels like it's Dovewing desperately wanting her sister to not treat her poorly, or believe in her, or just stop actively sabotaging her life. Then, Ivypool realizes this after a while and displays emotional intelligence that feels unfitting for her character, and apologizes.

It feels forced.

Like it's just happening because the authors know the fans want it, and not actually what these two characters would do. You get me?

I don't want to see them reconnect. I want more bittersweet examples in WC where family members have irreconcilable differences, but now and then, there's that little twinge of love, that old spark that you pray, THIS time, could become a fire... but it doesn't. There's just nothing left to burn.

TL;DR I'm feeling overall meh about Ivypool's Heart but looking forward to seeing what StormClan's all about.

[sundry-whovengerslocked]

Doctor Who "Rogue" memes

I've made memes. enjoy.

(contains slight spoilers)

firstly, ones that are more encompassing:

regarding the episode itself:

and finally, Captain Jack Harkness stages of grief:

[k4pp4-8]

They're so dear to me....

[lunarharp]

forgot i had some old backlog or whatever..