#my dream is just natalia dyer

[godhateswhores]

There's so much I want to say. But I don't know where to start.

Today is my birthday. Today I will learn how to breathe.

There's so much I want to say. But I don't know where to start

Maybe when I learn to breathe, I’ll finally be able to talk.

[alisaint]

guys, i have good news for once. i've found proof of intelligent life out here in these wastelands:

my favorite excerpts:

Will, Jonathan, and Joyce Formed a Special Trio

If Eleven is the main character in Stranger Things, the Byers family is the conduit through which she flickers. Will’s disappearance in the first season spurred the Hawkins community to rush to his aid. The tight-knit camaraderie between Will, Jonathan, and Joyce juxtaposes the stereotypical family composed of kids and teenagers. Parents and children are supposed to fight and bicker in television and other media, often to build the main conflict of the story, but the Byers family already underwent that trauma offscreen.  Lonnie Byers (Ross Partridge) makes a brief cameo in the first season, flexing his standoffish demeanor and abusive nature. It’s clear that the Byers patriarch doesn’t possess much empathy for his ex-wife or his sons. Jonathan valiantly steps into the father, husband, and big brother role, amalgamating into a combination of responsibilities that no other character on the show could dream of emulating. 

Jonathan Binds the Byers Family Together

Jonathan’s multifaceted arc in the first two seasons made him one of the series’ most easily dissectable characters. Stranger Things often differentiates itself from other shows by keeping the antagonists separate from the main characters. There are no Walter White or Tony Soprano-style antiheroes in which fans must compromise one part of their moral compass to appreciate the character. One might think this makes the series boring, but it’s the opposite. Jonathan was proof that a nearly perfect brother and son can still be fascinating to watch. After Will was found in season 1’s climax, he was taken over by the Mind Flayer in season 2. Jonathan again stood by Will’s side as his little brother felt outcasted by friends and society at large. Schnapp and Heaton’s chemistry often leads to tender, humorous exchanges like this one in which the boys remind the audience that being weird can be a human superpower in its own right.  These moments became few and far between in seasons 3 and 4. Will and Jonathan were relegated to minor supporting characters as the aforementioned new additions took center stage. Will at least gets to tag along with Mike, Dustin, Lucas, and the other younger friends. Jonathan often only appears in a few small scenes with his girlfriend Nancy (Natalia Dyer), and the writers even flirted with pushing Nancy back into Steve’s arms in the most recent season. Jonathan spent the majority of season 4 high on marijuana and frolicking around in a faux buddy-comedy routine with the one-off character Argyle (Eduardo Franco).  The decision to waste Heaton’s work from the first two seasons with a 180-degree personality change made no sense. Jonathan suddenly seemed careless, distant, and uninspired, but not in a dense way that could be unlocked by further character development. Little-to-no time was spent on him. While some fans might concur it is a necessary evil to take screen time away from older characters when expanding the world of Hawkins, it certainly transforms Stranger Things from a show about family into a show just about monsters and romances. 

Jonathan’s Enhanced Role in Season 5?

Many theories point to Will being one of the critical pieces to defeating Vecna (Jamie Campbell Bower) in the fifth and final season. His connection to the Upside Down and the evils underneath the surface should open up opportunities for Jonathan to lend his ears and counseling once again. Jonathan grows on an individual level when he aids others. When locked out of his family’s life, it stunts his ability to shine as a listener and an empathizer.  Jonathan’s best scene from season 4 again features a tear-jerking moment with Will. On the cusp of coming out of the closet, Will needs Jonathan more than ever before, and his brother responds supremely to the task at hand. The poignant conversation validates that the Duffers haven’t completely forgotten how to flesh out the Byers family. When the world gets too enormous for the characters and the audience, Jonathan serves as a connector to the most human elements of the series’ thematic thesis. He may not be as funny as Steve or as neurotic as Robin, but Jonathan symbolizes the good in all of us. In a show shrouded in darkness, Jonathan’s presence will be instrumental to forming a satisfying, optimistic conclusion in Hawkins, Indiana.

[gh0stlyb34r]

Welcome to my blog !

About me ! ; the basics

name ; saint , logan , johnny

big age ; 19 ('05)

little age ; 2 - 5

pronouns ; he / they / star / it (+more!)

gender / sexuality ect. ; gay , trans , ace , poly(?)

links at end of post!!

pronouns page | strawpage

About me ! ; my interests

games ; call of duty , overwatch , valorant , hogwarts legacy , jedi fallen order , jedi survivor , red dead redemption 2 , roblox (royale high , dress to impress + more!) , fnaf , poppy playtime , indigo park , forza horizon , resident evil 4 , good pizza great pizza , animal crossing new horizons , mario kart 8 , mario kart wii , just dance , the last of us , detroit become human , spiderman , little nightmares , buckshot roulette

movies / shows / musicals ; star wars , harry potter , marvel , x-men , deadpool & wolverine , the greatest showman , grease , hairspray , moulin rouge , phantom of the opera , annie , hamilton , les miserables , arcane , criminal minds , swat , titains , the batman , high school musical , heartstopper , heathers , young royals , ghostbusters , beetlejuice , into the woods , mean girls , the umbrella academy , nimona , descendants , lemonade mouth , stranger things

youtubers ; pezzy , grizzy , bigpuffer , elasticdroid , gtlive , game theory , warn , aspen , frogger , flats , dawko , ethan nestor , smii7y , blarg , thedooo , beaplays , coleydoesthings , filmcooper , dechart games , hthaze , james marriott , willne

musicians / bands ; taylor swift , hozier , noah kahan , james marriott , mcr , twenty one pilots , p!atd , billie eilish , sleeping at last , the smiths , fleetwood mac , the cranberries , laufey , mitski clairo , paramore , bruno major , depeche mode , chappell roan , novo amor , taylor austen dye , maya hawke , frank sinatra , 1d , 5sos , feels like july , florance the machine , djo , sleep token , lily allen , ghost , lady gaga , gerard way , daughter

misc ; books , lego , monster high , collecting , cds , dvds , posters , flowers , pins , halloween , fall/autumn , deco pacis , colouring

DISCLAIMER ; I do not support the actions of my faves! I hold them all accountable! I do not support JKR , noah schnapp ect!!!

About me ! ; My faves

celebrities / authors ; pedro pascal , oscar isaac , hugh jackman , ryan reynolds , erik j brown , ali hazelwood , tom holland , gerard way , aiden gallagher , kit connor , andrew garfield , ewan mcgregor , hayden christensen , carrie fisher , eddie remain , tom hiddelston , josh hutcherson , david harbour , wynona rider , aaron tveit , matthew gray gubler , maya hawke , natalia dyer , thomas gibson , padget brewster , aj cook

characters ; viktor , jinx , vi , ekko , simon 'ghost' riley , john 'soap' mactavish , kyle 'gaz' garrick , captain john price , keegan p russ , robin buckley , spencer reid , steve harrington , emily prentiss , aaron hotchner , penelope garcia , james potter , remus lupin , sirius black , loki , logan howlett , scott summers , rogue , marc spector , steven grant , obi-wan kenobi , anakin skywalker , luke skywalker , han solo , leia organa , ben hargreeves , luther hargreeves , five hargreeves , newt scamander , theseus scamander , din djarin , wade wilson , danny zuko , ben florian , flynn rider , aziraphale , crowley , nick nelson

My rules ! ; do not interact

nsfw , abdl/ddlg (and variants) , racist, homophobic , transphobic , ableist , zionist , edsh , n@zi , trump supporters , anti agere , anti petre , dsmp/qsmp fans (mainly dream team & wilbur fans)

My rules ; boundaries

when using pet names or gendered terms, keep them masc or gn NO FEM TERMS

DO NOT flirt with me , whether that is as a joke or platonicaly

keep all asks SAFE FOR WORK

more...

Links ; other blogs

writing blog ; @b4bywr1t3s

caregiver blog ; @royaldaycare

Links ; requests and master list

request info / master list / whitelist

Links ; credits

dni banners ; one , two , three

consent banner and dividers ; @kodaswrld

My tags ;

ghostlyblog ; normal posts + asks

ghostlyboards ; moodboards + stimboards

ghostlymedia ; agere media + other photos/videos

🐾 . lo's fictional cgs ; fictional characters that I see as cgs/my cgs

🐾 . lo's fictional faves ; my favourite fictional characters

[one-sided-bbl]

a movie that changed my life

i believe in unicorns (2014)

i recently rewatched this criminally underrated movie, and it was just as beautiful the second time through. i'm surprised more people haven't seen it because natalia dyer is in it and it's free on tubi but alas

if you enjoy movies made by girls for girls, watch this. if you hate girls, you'll probably think it's a waste of your time, and frankly i don't wanna hear it.

everything in this movies evokes a childhood nostalgia laced with glitter and magic and unicorns (duh!!) but with a creeping feeling of unease due to a MAN (whom i hate btw!!!) and a strained mother-daughter relationship </3

filmed solely on super 8 and super 16 film, it is a fantasy world through the lens of a young girl's imagination during her coming of age tale. there are dream-like stop-motion scenes and double exposures that combine her idyllic thoughts with painful reality in a way that girlhood-experiencers will probably relate to :p

many people say it's nothing more than a pretty movie, and while it is great to watch simply for room decor and outfit inspo, i think there's much more to it than that. but also why is a pretty movie a bad thing -_- ... maybe i just don't get it because i'm not a film bro who enjoys movies like drive or the usual suspects sorryyyy

one of my favorite movies. although i do wish that the girl best friend and her ended up together.... whatevssss

give it a watch, listen to this playlist i found inspired by it, and maybe base your personality on it for a week! ⋆˙⟡♡

mwah :*

mallory 🎀

[incandscents]

☆ — (natalia dyer, she/her, cis woman) who is joseli ryan anyways? ew. you don’t know about her, we’ll bet you want to. she's feeling twenty-eight and painting feels like a perfect night to them. rumor has it they’re capricious and implacable because they care, but they’re also affable and tenacious in the best way. she works to make a little money as a songwriter / musician. they’ve rented a place on cornelia street in the form of woodvale apartments. long live and my tears ricochet are the songs they could dance to the beat of forevermore.

𓂅   GENERAL INFORMATION .

name: joseli powell ryan ( born joselyn leigh powell-ryan )

nicknames: josie, jo, jojo.

age / date of birth: twenty-eight, born on november 22, 1995

zodiac sign: scorpio / sagittarius cusp

gender: cis woman ( she/her/hers )

place of birth: asbury park, new jersey

sexuality: pansexual

occupation: songwriter, main songwriter & guitarist for electric touch

𓂅    THE STORY SO FAR .

potential trigger warnings — mentions of injury, surgery.

before she was good with her hands, she was good with her feet: joselyn, more affectionally called 'josie leigh' by her doting parents, was all over a soccer field at age five. age four consisted of her making daisy crowns on the sidelines of the game, and after her parents sitting her down with ice cream and telling her they'd make her give it one more go, "one more chance to be the best", she screwed her head on straight. being the best never felt like an option to joseli. it was an expectation, a standard. anything less would not suffice. age five brought a ruthlessness on the field beyond what was anticipated of the ymca rec league for children. she'd spend hours in her backyard curling soccer balls into the upper corners of the net, dribbling down an empty soccer field, orange slices between her teeth and a loose ponytail signifying the dedication she poured into her craft. she never did anything halfway or half-assed.

for joseli, the future felt like soccer. she wasn't good in school aside from the occasional writing assignment — poetry was where she shone, considering it was allowed to be as abstract as the general make-up of her brain — so she put all her chips into soccer. her devotion demanded hard work and she was willing to give it her entire being if that was what it meant. it didn't go unnoticed, either. joseli was invited to development camps hosted by us soccer and called up for the u-16 and u-17 teams. every step she took was angled in the direction of the goal of being drafted to play pro, making the senior national team roster, having a shot at olympic medals and world cup trophies.

senior year was when the cards started to fall exactly as she'd designed: a scholarship to play at stanford, a call up to one of the senior national team camps, a spot among the greats carved out just for her. and then she tore her acl in a spring season game, which required surgery, and an extended recovery time that stanford could not guarantee being able to hold her spot for — even if she was with the greats at one point, she was cut back down to size. the crash and burn of her soccer career knocked joseli back years. most people her age were stepping into their dreams, figuring out what they wanted to do, while joseli felt like she was seven years old again trying to discover the root of who she was all over again.

she did everything she wasn't supposed to in an attempt to burn the ashes of josie leigh. she changed her name legally to joseli powell and told stanford thanks, but no thanks in exchange for nyu classes that she'd be in debt for until she's steady growing grey hairs. she spent her time in the city, drawing in the field books she carried at least three of inside her bag and observing the world with her mindlessly rambled thoughts and doodles. where her feet failed her, her hands would be her savior.

growing up in asbury park meant joseli had quite the exposure to music & music history, staffs embedded in her bones and melodies buzzing under the surface. always whistling on the soccer pitch during drills and locker room cool-downs slowly evolved into the stupid, angsty poems she scribbled into napkins and on the insides of her arms finding chords and melodies. she went to open mic nights at bars and played shitty songs that no one other than the three drunks found good, but the thrumming of electricty was back in her blood that she missed so desperately once soccer was cut out from her life. the bitch was back.

spending all her time in another already oversaturated dream meant that joseli would really amp up the all gas, no brakes mentality as she went about climbing the newest mountain in her range and clambering for the top. create, consume, create, consume: her life was a vicious cycle of art and trying to become the best at something other people had already invested decades of their lives into. everything was a race for joseli, a competition with a winner and a loser, and she was familiar with blood in her teeth while she fought.

age old story: girl falls in love. girl moves to the city with big dreams and her lover, drunk on a daydream and hoping that the fairytale ending is in sight amongst the tears and bruises of rejection and the grind, the constant fucking grind that joseli almost needs in order to survive. and then it suddenly pays off, after the years of learning the city like it's a constellation of freckles on the back of her hand that she sees each time she picks up a pen, with radios playing the song and record labels asking for meetings, and joseli feels like she is flying. she is seventeen all over again, dreams coming true as she returns from saturn and begins to build a kingdom from her home. problem is, she's never been the best at figuring out when enough is enough. when there's a line, when not to cross it, when to apologize, when to make it right. she just doesn't understand how she can possibly be wrong when it means living a dream — she's already lost one, so is it any surprise she'd kill to see this one to fruition?

little does she know it's alllllll gonna blow up in her face and force her to grow up. again. :')

joseli's a cosmogyral — literally means ‘whirling around the universe,’ which is very much a perfect descriptor. she’s all over the fuckin place. she’s a hot mess. she’s constantly in new corners of her universe, reinventing herself and finding new pieces and parts to highlight while trying to bury others. loves hard, fights hard. warm until she is too hot to handle. she always means well but she’s quicksilver; she is never the same version of herself, she sticks to her guns until she decides she only wants to carry knives from now on. will charm the pants off of just about anyone she comes into contact with. flirty. a little goofy, wildly sarcastic. there’s method to her madness even if no one else gets it. is the passive aggressive type, bottles things up and simmers. stubborn as fuck, fiercely protective and neurotic. she’s almost thirty and she constantly feels like she’s living someone else’s life, no matter how many times she reinvents herself professionally or personally, and it is starting to wear on her soul.

𓂅    DESIRED CONNECTIONS .

meredith to her cristina — basically her best friend (not gender specific) who tells it to joseli like it is, doesn’t mind if she laments about how the world sucks every now and again, the person she’s calling if she needs help with a body.

joseli, for all her neuroticism, is quite friendly and sociable and overall A Good Time, is the type to make sure a stranger doesn't feel like one in a crowded room. casual friends, neighbors, people that jam out and get high on each other's couches, regulars at the same coffee shop: she doesn't bite (usually) so anything in that vein will work

i am also not opposed to a roommate for joseli 👀

someone who dr. phil's joseli and she just does not listen (bonus points if she tries to reciprocate and they too ignore the fuck out of her)

pr relationship ! — someone who joseli's management has partnered her up with to help promote electric touch's upcoming album. either they’re good friends or they hate each other, i’m up to anything

hookups, friends with benefits, ‘we have casual sex because it’s fun to rile each other up,’ exes of all flavors — joseli is pansexual and a mega flirty hot mess so anything works !

childhood friends, friends who are only friends because their agents told them to play nice, friends that have definitely fought in a club or a bar before even though they went in together holding hands, friends who are only friends with her to benefit from it, good influence / bad influence, friends who are forced to be pr enemies and are secretly laughing at the media in private, friends who are only friends when they’re drunk

ANGSTY SHIT — a plot based off of ‘wrong’ by ally hills, “bad for me but i keep coming around,” someone joseli calls late at night because she doesn’t want to be alone, a plot based off come back be here by taylor swift except they actually came back and it’s like wtf do we do now

gimme a girl that joseli is rlly in love with but she’s lowkey sabotaging their relationship because she is absolutely batshit crazy right now trying to sew all her dreams together to keep them from imploding and she does not know how to prioritize��! and she has to actually decide if this is in fact the worthwhile fight #iykyk

everything and anything, really, feel free to hit me up on discord @/lizolsen and we can plot up all kinds of magic together :')

[boroughshq]

WELCOME TO THE BOROUGHS, DYLAN! Hope the city is everything you dreamed it would be. Make sure to send your account in within 24 hours, and don't forget to follow the checklist as you get settled!

natalia dyer as charlie carter*

*duplicate name; this character will need a new first name!

[ natalia dyer, non-binary, she/they ] — whoa! CHARLIE CARTER just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for HER ENTIRE LIFE, working as a/an PHOTOJOURNALIST. that can’t be easy, especially at only 28 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit STUBBORN and RECKLESS , but I know them to be PASSIONATE and AMBITIOUS. whatever. I guess I’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS! — (dylan, 31, est, she/they, n/a)

[sarahisgay01]

Natalia Dyer could do whatever she wanted to me and I’d thank her

You want my ssn?? yep here it is… Oh, you want my car?? yep, here are the keys…oh you want my credit cards?? you got it…OH, you want my soul?? gladly, please take it. anything she wants, she’d get

[dontcallmeeds]

Me??? I write fanfic???? No no see my comfort characters rot my brain until they crawl out of it and write it themselves

[angelst4re]

good morning to you

can you write something with jamie bower where the reader is a famous actress and she is on a talk show and there are some serious rumors that she is in a relationship ( because someone caught her after the oscar ceremony where she had won beat actress, kissing a blond tattooed boy ) with either Vinnie Hacker or Jamie Campbell Bower and so like she was is under a lie detector and it’s end up so fluffy and she confirms that she is with jamie since 1 year.

Hi my love!! I love this idea soo much because I saw a picture of Vinnie Hacker on pinterest yesterday and I actually thought it was Jamie... please let me know if this has happened to anyone else!!

Lie Detector- Jamie Campbell Bower x Reader

warnings: none! :)

note: this reminded me of the time charlie heaton and natalia dyer did a lie detector test so i kinda took some inspiration from that because they're adorable!

You and Jamie had done such a great job at keeping your relationship private, even after starring in the same movie and going on press tours. However, you knew tonight was going to change it all.

“Y/n,” The host welcomes you.

“Hello!”

“Oh, and Jamie! How are you doing?” They ask as you both sit down. 

“Great, excited to be here.” Jamie speaks for you both. 

“So, we had you come in a couple days ago to do a lie detector test! We’ve done this in the past with some of your co-stars so it was exciting to see the both of you do it, let’s watch it!”

“Wonderful, so… we’re going to be taking a lie detector test today, one of you will be hooked up to the machine whilst the other asks some questions, then you’ll switch. I expect you’ve seen this before?” 

You nod your head, Jamie chuckles. You knew what was going to happen. It was all going to unfold… 

“Who would like to go first?” 

You look at Jamie with a grin and he sighs, 

“Fine, I’ll go first,” he smiles as he stands and gets into place. 

When everything was ready, you began to ask the questions. 

Your questions to him were fun and easy, such as asking if he really likes acting, if he’s going to be in the new season of stranger things, if he wants to get married, etc.

And then it was his turn to ask you the questions.

“Growing up, did you always want to be an actress?” Jamie asked, 

“Yes, it was always a dream of mine, I never thought I’d really do it though.” You answer.

“Who was your first celebrity crush?” He asks, his eyebrows raised.

“Uhh, I don’t remember!” You giggle, yet the lie detector said you were telling the truth.

“Do you remember your first impression of me?” Jamie asks, watching you smugly. 

“I thought you were pretty cool, I liked your tattoos… made me want to get one.”

“Awh, do you still think that?” He asks,

“Of course,” you smile. 

“Okay, last question, this is a pretty big one… are you ready?” 

You knew what was coming, you took in a deep breath and nodded your head. 

“There’s been some rumours going around about your love life, half the internet thinks you’ve got something going on with Vinnie Hacker, the other half seem to think it’s me? Can you tell us the truth about this picture?” Jamie can’t contain his laughter as he slides the photo over to you. You take a look at it and then look up at Jamie again.

“Well, this is a picture of me and my boyfriend. If you look close enough you’d notice that that tattoo on his upper arm matches one that you have… so I hate to break it to the people that think it’s Vinnie Hacker but this is infact me and Jamie Campbell Bower,” you can’t help but blush as you confess the truth, knowing the impact this will have on social media within the next hour. “We kept things secret for over a year so when this photo was released we knew it was just a matter of time until everyone found out!” 

“Surprise!” Jamie shouted to the camera before bursting into laughter.

“So…” The host began as the video ended, you had your face hiding in Jamie’s neck as he spoke, “The truth is finally out! The rumours about the picture were true?!”

“Indeed they were,” Jamie smiles, “I feel so relieved now, it was really hard keeping it a secret!”

“Yeah, Jamie can’t even keep birthday presents a secret! He always ends up telling me what he’s bought weeks before my birthday!” You laugh as Jamie looks at you, pretending to be offended

“Excuse me!” He gasps, “I only spoiled one of them, at least I kept the rest a secret!”

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend and rest your head on his shoulder, smiling at the relief of no longer having to keep your relationship hidden.

[cariebishop]

Out of curiosity I made the decision to lurk around the anti stancy tag.

 I keep seeing people talking, mostly jancy shippers, about how stancy shippers don't take into account Nancy's hopes and dreams. I’m wondering exactly how that is. 

Let’s start by establishing what Nancy’s hopes and dreams are. What has Nancy said explicitly out of her mouth? And what was told to her by Jonathan or Barb or Murray? And how would ending up with Steve prevent her from not achieving any of her goals? A frequently cited sequence is the one when Nancy and Jonathan discuss their families while shooting cans. The crux of what Nancy says during the scene is that she doesn't want to be bored in a bourgeois, suburban life and stuck in a loveless, appearance-driven marriage (which is also something that both Steve and Jonathan don’t want either). "We like Steve, but we don't love Steve" is said by someone who only met Nancy two minutes ago, has never even met Steve, and has never seen the two interact. How can we trust that? And even if we do trust that, why does that mean that Nancy can't fall in love with Steve during the 4th season? I say this not to lessen the importance of Nancy’s ambitions and dreams of becoming a reporter, she’s a badass girlboss and I respect that with everything in my heart and mind, but only so we can keep things clear. Especially during the first and second season Nancy has a lot of people, namely Barb, Jonathan and Murray, telling her who she is and who she actually should be, and I think it’s really important to separate what Nancy says about herself versus what others say about her. 

Nancy has never stated out loud on the show that she never wanted kids. Furthermore, during the scene in the R V Steve never said that it absolutely had to be six kids and it’s a dealbreaker otherwise. Steve was sharing a dream, not a legit plan for the future. Steve said six because there are six kids in The Party (Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Will, Max and Eleven). If they end up together who's to say they never get married, or they never have kids, or they have two or three, and/or adopt? How would Steve not be an absolute wifeguy as Nancy goes out becoming the most amazing reporter, always there to support her? How does their team-up during the 4th season not show that they would be just as equal a partnership as Jonathan and Nancy? And Nancy's face while Steve is talking doesn't look like she's hearing a nightmare. There is no way I could even interepret it as uncomfortable. She has a genuine smile.

THAT SOUNDS NICE!!!!!  If this was tumblr in 2015 I would follow this by shouting “LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK”. People get hung up on the six kids, but Steve also describes traveling the country, having adventures and learning to surf, not staying trapped in a cul-de-sac.

As Natalia Dyer said in a recent interview with Vulture, Nancy is now a much more confident and secure person. There is no doubt in my mind that the Nancy Wheeler of Season four knows exactly who she is. If she ends up with Jonathan, or Steve, or Robin, or someone she hasn’t met yet, it will be for the right reasons. If Nancy chooses Steve (and I have every belief that it will be Nancy making a “Reader, I married him” choice) it will be because she knows that he will be the best partner for her as she becomes a world-class reporter. 

[watercoloredlie]

In Another Life(Edancy Week Day 3: Grief

Summary: Eddie was her meant to be in every life in every way. 

Warnings: Character death, Vampire smut, fluff

Prompt: Edancy week Day 3- Grief

Song: In Another Life by the Veronicas

Notes: I know the prompt is grief, but I couldn’t bring myself to not let this have a happy ending in some way. Fun fact, Lucy and Alice are two different characters that Natalia Dyer has played. I picked the names randomly from the list of her projects on IMDB.

I have known you my whole life

When you were ten, you said you’d make me your wife

Eight years later and you won me over

Just as I took the world on my shoulders

Nancy Wheeler and Eddie Munson were practically raised together. Their mothers were old friends. The two kids often hung out together. Shortly before Mrs. Munson tragically passed away, Eddie and Nancy were playing in the park.

“One day when we’re older, I’m going to make you my wife.” Eddie gave her a goofy grin.

Nancy wrinkled her nose at him. “Eww why?”

“Every bard needs someone worthy to sing about.” He winked at her then tumbled down the slide.

She thought he was being ridiculous and continued playing. Everything changed after that. His mother died, his father went to prison, and he was taken in by his uncle Wayne. Nancy and Eddie drifted apart a bit after that. Eight years passed and things weren’t so carefree any longer. Now they had to deal with the Upside Down and Vecna. Nancy never expected to reconnect with Eddie or find herself falling for him. Everyone had been surprised to find out that they were dating, but the pair took it in stride. Then Chrissy Cunningham died and all Nancy wanted to do was make sure that Eddie was okay.

Of course she had hated keeping the truth about the Upside Down from him, but she had honestly believed that she had been protecting him. Unfortunately she had been proven wrong and now the whole town of Hawkins believed that the man she loved was a murderer. Nancy refused to stop until she had cleared Eddie’s name. She wanted to maim the basketball team when she heard that they had tried to hunt him down.

“No. Nope. Absolutely not. We’re not going back in there.” Eddie shook his head after Nancy suggested they return to the Upside Down.

She huffed at him. “Why not? We have to destroy Vecna.”

“He took you last time. What if he does it again? No, I can’t lose you. It’s not our job to fight these things.”  He sighed looking at her.

Nancy softened a bit. “I know, but we can’t just do nothing while Max is in danger. It was scary, I know, but I’ll be okay.”

“I still think it’s a terrible idea.” Eddie murmured pulling her into his arms.

No matter how much they prepared for it, Eddie was proven to be right. They had gone in separate groups. Eddie and Dustin were the distraction. Nancy had gone with Robin and Steve to destroy Vecna. She had kissed Eddie making him promise to be careful. After turning Vecna into a pile of flames, the three of them had returned only to find Dustin cradling Eddie on the ground. Nancy ran over to them dropping to her knees beside Eddie. Her blue eyes glistened with tears as she gazed down at her blood spattered boyfriend. 

“Don’t.. Cry..” Eddie smiled weakly at her.

Nancy smiled softly at him. “Save your strength. We’re going to get you out of here.”

“Love you… so much, Nancy Wheeler.” He breathed out then visibly relaxed. 

She leaned in kissing him gently. “I love you too, Eddie Munson.”

Eddie smiled again then let out a soft gasp before going limp in Dustin’s arms. Nancy checked on him then broke down sobbing beside his body.

I got used to living without you

Endless phone calls and dreaming about you

Always said that you were my meant to be

But I guess I was in love with your memory

Nancy was distraught. She distracted herself by fighting to clear Eddie’s name. With the help of a returning Hopper, she managed to do just that. It was a bittersweet victory. Nancy couldn’t think about him for too long without crying. All the good memories they had made flooded her mind as she curled up in her bed with her blanket wrapped around her.

“You’re going to go on to do big things, Wheeler. Eighty six is our year. We’ll graduate, you’ll go to Emerson in the fall, and I’ll get a job somewhere nearby. Maybe I’ll even do some shows on the side.” Eddie pressed a kiss to her temple and smiled.

Nancy relaxed curling up against him some more. “I like the sound of that. I think we were always meant to be together.”

The memory made Nancy smile to herself in spite of her tears. She loved him with every fiber of her being and nothing could have ever changed that.

You know I love you, I really do

But I can’t fight anymore for you

And I don’t know, maybe we’ll be together again

Sometime, in another life

In another life

“Yes they are. Aren’t they wizard?” Ralph Penbury grinned in excitement.

Her blue eyes sparkled in delight. “Indeed they are.”

After the disaster that was his attempt at courting Lauren, Ralph didn’t want to make the same mistakes again, but he couldn’t help being smitten with his new acquaintance. Alice was an American aspiring writer who was living abroad in England and Victoria had invited her to their latest party. He had been considering signing up for the military to fight in the war though he had no real desire to after meeting Alice.

“Will you marry me?” He asked her nervously on bended knee a few months later with a new ring.

Alice grinned brightly as her blue eyes teared up. “Oh Ralph! I’d be delighted. Yes! Of course I’ll marry you.”

Relief washed over him as he slid the engagement ring onto her finger then stood up pulling her into a kiss. He couldn’t believe that he was going to marry the woman of his dreams. Breaking the kiss, he wrapped his arms around her waist in a hug spinning her playfully.

I know I said that I would keep my word

I wished that I could save you from the hurt

But things will never go back to how they were

I’m sorry I can’t be your world

Eddie had awoken with a sharp gasp and blood red eyes. His senses were on overdrive. It was dark out when he finally broke free from his grave. He did his best to cover it up. Seeing the headstone, the metalhead swallowed hard. Eddie wasn’t sure how he was alive or what was going on. The only thing he knew was that he needed to see Nancy. The bloodlust consumed him though so he fed on the nearest living person. A pang of guilt struck him. He returned to his old trailer in the now abandoned trailer park. He gathered as much of his clothes as he could. He wasn’t that surprised that they were still there. Eddie then went to a different trailer and was relieved to see that the hot water still worked. He showered and changed into fresh clothes.

Despite his desire to see the woman he loves more than anything, Eddie forced himself to learn how to control his bloodlust. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Nancy. When he finally had a good amount of control a few weeks later, he quietly went over to the Wheeler home hidden by the darkness of the night. He swiftly got in through her window to find her asleep in her bed. She was alive and she was safe. That was all that mattered to him.

“I’ll always love you, Nancy Wheeler.” Eddie whispered quietly as his hand gently stroked her face.

He knew that he couldn’t stay with her. Not while he was stuck like this. She deserved better than that. Eddie hated how much she was hurting over losing him. He wished more than anything that he could just take her pain away, but life just simply didn’t work like that.

You know I love you, I really do

But I can’t fight any more for you

And I don’t know, maybe we’ll be together again

Sometime, in another life

In another life

Her blue eyes rolled as she worked on cooking them dinner. “She was a right bitch, Tom. She was so scared that you were going to cheat that she turned around and cheated herself. Who does that?”

“Ruth does, apparently.” Tom Grant sighed though his accent made it sound like he said roof.

Lucy smiled at her friend. “Hey, it’s been a few months. I’m proud of you, Tommy boy. Like I said after it happened, you just need to let yourself heal and then try to move on. Here, taste this.”

“Yeah I know, love. I’m trying my best. Mm, it tastes good. Wait, is this your nana’s recipe?” He tasted the sauce from the spoon then licked his lips.

She giggled softly at him. “Yeah it is. Guaranteed to heal any broken heart.”

“Pretty sure her food could heal anything.” Tom chuckled as he moved to grab the loaf of bread.

Lucy’s blue eyes widened at him then she moved to grab the bread herself. “Thomas Grant, you are not putting my nana’s spaghetti between two slices of white bread.”

“Ey, why not?” He laughed while they playfully struggled over the bread.

She frowned cursing their height difference as he held it above her head. “Because you’re going to eat the spaghetti like a proper man and not like a broke college student.”

Something shifted in that moment with the two of them standing so close together. Lucy gazed up into his big brown eyes and smiled fondly at him. Setting the loaf of bread on

the counter, Tom grasped her face with his hand gently. She nodded her head at him and he leaned in pressing a sweet kiss to her lips. His other hand rested on the small of her back holding her close to him.

The way you’re holding onto me

Makes me feel like I can’t breathe

Just let me go, Just let me go

It just won’t feel right inside

God knows I’ve tried

He had tried his best to stay hidden. Of course he couldn’t help watching her from afar. It wasn’t long before he slipped up though. Nancy was now living in her own apartment and Eddie couldn’t help stopping in to see her while she was asleep. Except this time she was wide awake.

Her blue eyes widened when she saw him standing there in her bedroom. “Eddie? God, I really must be losing it. Now I’m imagining you standing there.”

“You’re not imagining it. I’m really standing here.” He cleared his throat gazing over at her.

Nancy stood up from her bed walking slowly over to him. “This must be a dream or I’m dead.”

“You’ve very much awake and alive, Wheeler.” Eddie couldn’t help chuckling softly.

Her hand shook as she reached out touching him. “There’s no way.”

“Sorry I’m late, sweetheart.” He couldn’t help himself pulling her into his arms.

Nancy gazed up at him in awe as her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t understand. I saw you…”

“I know. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I don’t really understand it myself.” Eddie admitted with a sigh.

She buried her head against his chest crying. “Oh Eddie.”

As much as he wanted to leave, he selfishly loved having her in his arms again. He pressed a kiss to her head as she clung to him. Nancy had so many questions, but she didn’t care because Eddie was here and he was okay. He gently wiped her tears away with his thumb. It was then that she noticed his fangs. Thankfully his eyes only went red when he was angry or needed to feed. Nancy didn’t seem scared though. She was more curious than anything. Leaning up, she pressed a kiss to his lips. Eddie knew deep down that she needed to let him go more than anything, but damn if he wasn’t like a moth drawn to her flame.

He kissed her back gently unwilling to risk hurting her with his fangs. For the first time since she had watched him die, Nancy Wheeler felt whole again. The kiss slowly grew more passionate as it always does with them. Eddie reluctantly broke the kiss and shook his head.

“I shouldn’t be here. You need to grieve for me and move on with your life.” He sighed letting go of her.

Nancy frowned at him. “What? No. I want you to stay. I just got you back. I can’t lose you again.”

“I’m legally dead, Nance. I’m a blood sucking vampire. I can’t.. I can’t give you the life that you deserve.” Eddie frowned and ran his fingers through his messy brown curls.

Her hands cupped his face gently. “I never wanted a white picket fence kind of life. All I wanted was you.”

His feelings got the best of him and he pulled her into another kiss. Clothes were slowly pulled off of their bodies. Her fingertips gently traced the scars that marred his pale skin. He shuddered at her touch. It didn’t disgust Nancy though. He was just as beautiful to her as he had always been. Eddie picked her up and placed her down on her bed leaving a trail of kisses down her body. He spread her legs pressing a kiss against her inner thigh. His fangs gently grazed against her soft skin while he worked her over with his fingers.

Nancy moaned gazing down at him. “Bite me, Eddie.”

He was hesitant as the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Eddie glanced up at her and she nodded her head at him. His fangs then gently sank into the flesh of her inner thigh. A moan fell from his lips as he tasted her blood. He only drank a little then ran his tongue over the bite mark sealing it while she came around his fingers moaning loudly. Eddie pressed a gentle kiss against her high. He wasn’t sure if he should as he didn’t want to hurt her, but he couldn’t resist eating her out. Her sweet taste was intoxicating. The sinful sounds she made were his favorite melody. 

Eddie kissed his way back up her body once he was done. He let her relax a bit, but her hand stroking him told him everything he needed to know. Moving her hand, he nestled between her legs thrusting inside of her slowly. His hand interlaced with her hand against the mattress above her head. She kissed him moaning against his lips as he made love to her. His free hand grasped her headboard giving him leverage as his hips moved faster. Nancy cried out his name in ecstasy as her back arched off of the bed. The headboard cracked beneath his grasp as hey both came. He slid out of her after a few moments and laid down beside her. Panting heavily, Nancy curled up in his arms contently.

They stayed like that just making small talk for a while. Eventually exhaustion won out and Nancy fell asleep. When she awoke the next morning, Eddie was gone. She thought she had dreamed it until she realized that she was still naked and there was a bite mark on her thigh. It was only when she glanced toward the nightstand that she saw his rings on top of a letter.

Nance -

I love you with every fiber of my being. I always have and I always will. Nothing could ever change that. I should have said this to your face, but we both know that I never would have been able to leave if I did. I want to stay with you more than anything, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us. You deserve to be with someone that you don’t have to hide. You’ll just keep getting older while I’ll stay the same age. It’s just too painful. This is for the best. I am so sorry, sweetheart.

I’ll love you forever and for always.

-Eddie

You know I love you, you know I do

But I can’t fight any more for you

And I don’t know, maybe we’ll be together again

Sometime, in another life

In another life

In another life

In another life

In another life

Her brows furrowed as she looked at her brother. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“You guys only wounded Vecna. He came back disfigured, but El was able to get rid of him permanently.” Mike told her.

Nancy frowned at that. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come back to help.”

“Because you’ve been through enough. None of that matters right now. There’s something you need to see.” He grasped her wrist tugging her in a certain direction.

She followed him to the grassy point overlooking Hawkins. “What is it?”

His friends were already there. To her surprise, Max was sitting in a wheelchair conscious and she was able to see. Nancy was glad to see that the younger girl would make a full recovery. Steve and Robin were also there keeping an eye on the younger teens. Mike let go of his sister’s wrist bracing himself for her reaction.

“Max wasn’t the only one that El was able to save.” He admitted to her.

A tiny spark of hope bloomed within her, but she didn’t want to give into it. “What?”

“Hi sweetheart.” Eddie turned around and smiled at her.

Nancy turned to look at him unsure of what to think. “Eddie?”

“Yeah, it’s me, Nance.” He assured her.

She ran into his arms hugging him tightly. He hugged her back sighing in relief. Nancy cried as she clung to him. Eddie pressed a kiss to her head while rubbing her back soothingly with his hand. She could hear his heart beating as she leaned against his chest.

Nancy pulled back wiping her tears away then hit him lightly. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. I can’t handle losing you.”

“Never again. I promise. I’m all yours if you’ll have me.” Eddie reassured her with a grin.

She grinned softly and sniffled a bit. “Of course I’ll have you. It’s always been you.”

They all returned to that spot a few weeks later, but this time it was for an even more joyous occasion. Nancy walked down the aisle looking ethereal in a simple white gown. Eddie stood at the altar tearing up a bit in awe. He was in a black suit with a black dress shirt and a black bow tie. It was a pretty normal ceremony though they added a little something extra when it came time for the rings.

Nancy slid the silver band onto his left ring finger reciting what she was told to say then grinned softly at him. “Forever and for always.”

“Forever and for always.” He repeated after taking the matching silver band from his best friend Dustin and sliding it onto Nancy’s left ring finger.

“With the power invested in me by the State of Indiana, I now pronounce you man and wife. Eddie, you may kiss your bride.” Hopper nodded at them.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Eddie grinned pulling his wife into a kiss dipping her for effect.

Nancy giggled kissing him back happily. Of course what no one knew, but them was that the inside of their wedding bands were specially inscribed. His said My Meant To Be while hers said Forever and For Always.

[burtfromohio]

Anyway I think I have my fancast for the rest of the endless

Destiny: DB Woodside

In a perfect world it would be Idris Elba but im gonna be realistic. DB has the gravitas and the voice for this role. I think that type of deep voice that could cut stone is perfect for the italics speaking oldest Endless.

Destruction: Daveed Diggs or Tom Hopper

To me, Destruction has to be the most trustworthy looking person I can think of, a little humorous, and have favorite brother energy. These actors have all of those things. I could see either of them begging Dream to eat thier home cooked meal and cracking wise with a talking dog, enjoying retirement. Most importantly, I see them as someone you wish were still a part of a family.

Delirium: Maisie Williams

There is no way that this isn't happening. She has the look. I think she's the right age. She's malleable. She doesn't even have eyebrows often. She's very little sister energy but she's been through enough to give a performance that says, "I'm one of the oldest beings in any universe". I also think she would agree to so a project like this. I imagine her if they get to adapt Brief Lives and I think she's a perfect fit.

Honorable Mentions (people I think belong in the Sandman)

Robert Sheehan: look at him and tell me he doesn't belong in this universe, you cant.. I don't know as who but he belongs

Aiden Gallagher: if he was just a bit older he could do Orpheus. If the show had to wait 15 years, he would've been Dream.

Nicholas Hoult: he would be a good Orpheus but I'm not entirely sure what he looks like now he may be a bit too old

Natalia Dyer: a good pick for Thessaly I think. She might be a touch young but her face would be interesting in that part. She also has the capacity to be intense and badass.

Gemma Chan: she's alianora. She's regal and gorgeous. She was created by desire. She would do so well to be Dreams love and look so good. I don't think she would do the role but if she did she would be perfect.

[vroomvroommuppett]

fourteen

series masterlist

my next smau will be a matthew gray gubler one, so please send an ask if you want to be tagged in that one

reblog or send your thoughts!!

puppy interview video

hi i’m joseph quinn, and i play eddie munson. i’m natalia dyer and i play nancy wheeler. i’m perrie keery-quinn and i play robin buckley. and i’m joe keery, and i play steve harrington.

and we’re the cast of stranger things.

after almost 6 years, how does it feel having the series come to an end soon?

it’s surreal. even though i’ve only been on since season 3, it’s felt like longer.

if you could play any other character on stranger things, who would it be?

nancy wheeler. i actually auditioned for that part, and i got it, but then i got pregnant with the twins and i had to drop out, and apparently the duffers i guess decided to keep me on hold.

nat: wait really?

yeah.

what’s a role people would be surprised to hear you auditioned for?

natasha romanoff. it was between scarlett johannson and me and she got it, and she’s an amazing black widow.

jk: i mean you do some awesome moves in ncis: la.

true.

jq: *talking about auditioning for spider-man*

wait you tried out? which one?

jq: andrew garfield’s

well would you look at that

if you had to create an ‘80s mixtape, which songs would you add?

“lay all your love on me” by abba, “slipping through my fingers” by abba, “don’t stop believing” by journey, “sweet dreams (are made of this)” by the eurythmics, “don’t stop believin’”, “any way you want it”, “seperate ways (worlds apart)”, and “faithfully” by journey, “everybody wants to rule the world” by tears for fears, “i wanna dance with somebody” by whitney houston

jq: that’s a lot

shut up. let me have this

if you could guest star on any series, what would it be?

well i mean i always wanted to be on bbc’s strictly come dancing and i’ve been on a few times. and two coming soon.

nat: what’s your favorite dance you’ve done?

oh gosh it’s a toss up between spider hands and singin in the rain/thunder

jk: you love water dances

yep

if any actor could have a cameo on stranger things, who would you want it to be?

dane dehann. i feel like he’d play a good villain. i mean he has played a villain. was he one of the causes of me dying? yeah.

jq: ooh that’d be amazing

oh and my good friend matthew gray gubler. i mean he’s directed all the creepy criminal minds episodes and he loves halloween so that would be so much fun to be in something with him again

jk: YES

what’s the hardest stunt you’ve ever had to film?

refer to this video

like on stranger things or in general?

cm: general

this one scene in this season of ncis: la was really hard to figure out, but it turned out amazing.

who have you been the most starstruck by?

zendaya.

what are your wildest fan stories?

i’ve had people name their daughters and dogs topanga.

jk: can we name our future daughter topanga?

jq: what about our dog?

nat: you’re married to dinguses

i am. and we’ll see. and we don’t have a dog

jk: but we could

do you remember your first audition for your role?

topanga. and i almost lost it. and i actually talk about it in my podcast with my boy meets world cast mates, rider strong and will friedle.

refer to this video.

do you have a favorite behind-the-scenes moment?

when the cast figured out joe, joseph and i were dating.

nat: that was iconic. charlie and i figured out something was up

jq: were we that obvious?

nat: yep

jk: ugh

perrie, with the new spider-man movie coming out soon, would you do another movie as gwen stacy? and are you in the new spider-man movie? and is andrew in it?

if you were to ask me this a year and a half ago, i would’ve said no, but ever since andrew exposed his management, got out of his pr relationship, and started dating someone and we’ve made up and co-parent now, yes. yes i would. and i am not in the movie. and i have no idea.

what are your dressing room must haves?

twizzlers

nat: it’s quite funny. we were filming and she had twizzlers in her pocket and just ate one and the duffers kept it in. and since then you’ll just see her eat twizzlers.

jk: she’s very possessive over them. in the scene where i reach to eat one, and she slaps my hand away, that wasn’t scripted and they kept it in.

yeah. i forgot that i had put them in there the day before. i also eat them in every show that i’ve been in.

where do you think your characters would be in 2022?

married. kids. hawkins is safe.

send an ask if you want to be added or removed!

@charlie-heatons-whxre @a-lumos-in-the-nox

[kitchen-light]

Thank you so much to @briarhips for tagging me to fill out this tag meme!

1) name/nickname: s

2) sign: virgo

3) height: 165 cm

4) last google search: I use Ecosia to help support the trees - I was watching Richard Osman’s House of Games and there was a question on English kings (pre William the Conqueror) and I got stuck inside an internet search spiral of Danish kings of England

5) song stuck in head: Fucking Wizardry by Self Esteem

6) number of followers: mas o menos

7) amount of sleep: sleep is my rival (I think this is a line from a Stars song, but they’re not on Spotify so can’t double check)

8) lucky number: 3

9) dream job: honestly I’ve pretty much just have always wanted to write ... but one dream I had was wanting to be a beekeeper 🐝

10) wearing: light grey hoodie, dark grey satin trousers over winter stockings, bronze woolly socks, slippers, no makeup or jewellery atm

11) books/movies that summarize you: Orlando, Whisper of the Heart, Happy Together, Rebecca, Paterson, Only Lovers Left Alive, Wings of Desire, Travels with Herodotus, Girl Meets Boy (Ali Smith), Deathless, Miłosz’ final collection of poems, In the Same Light | 200 Tang Poems for Our Century (this is so random, I’m sure tomorrow it’ll be different)

12) favorite song: lately too… My Sea by IU (also the Lee Mujin service x KSM cover!)

13) favorite instrument: the oud (!!!!)

14) aesthetic: writing in cafes, rainy days, misted windows, corners of ancient buildings, dusk, fields of lavender, the corners of photographs, oversized hoodies, stacks and stacks of books, old fashioned quills, trains going overground, tones of blue & grey, coffee, purple roses petals falling, foxes leaping over leaves, doric columns, bottled jams, pickles and chutneys, rings on every finger, lunch poems

15) favorite authors: Anne Carson, Richard Siken, Natalie Diaz, Ocean Vuong, Kaveh Akbar, Ghassan Zaqtan, Marina Tsvetaeva, Lee Hyemi, Anna Akhmatova, Ada Limón, T.S. Eliot, Danez Smith, Valzyhna Mort, David Mitchell, John Donne, Geoff Dyer, Ryszard Kapuściński, Seamus Heaney, etc etc etc lately I’ve been getting into Jenny Xie and Ostap Slyvynsky as well (this reminds me that I want to make a project of spending more concentrated time reading one writer at a time (usually nonfiction) like Svetlana Alexievich, or Natalia Ginzburg, or Teju Cole, etc etc)

16) favorite animal noise: when a cheetah purrs

17) random: last week I got locked inside a public park after closing hours by mistake

Tagging whoever would like to do this - please let me know if you do 💙🦩🦜🧡

[smalltragedy]

* natalia dyer, nonbinary + she/they | you know philomena carmichael, right? they’re twenty, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a day? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the leanover by life without buildings like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole wind whipping around your hair, the gentleness of decomposition, a naked blur dancing around the flames of an everlasting fire thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is april 20th, so they’re a taurus, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )

hi thank u all fr being so patient w me as i rapidly switch out muses n figure out wht the fuck im doing atm <3 also sry fr my rare presence work hs been kicking my ass like lets jst say i deserve 2 b smbdy’s housewife (misogny wins this time sry) so i nvr hv to work in my life <3 DFSLKSDHKGLFSHLKAGHLKAHLKSG this is a joke 2 clarify. anyways. this is philly she’s old bt she’s one of my very favorites ever. this intro is also old sry its nt in my usual. style. LKDFKHGLKGF

CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION, DEATH, GRAPHIC MENTION OF DECAY, INSECTS MENTION TW.

mini playlist.

the girl who stole my tamagotchi ;; hot sugar / i dropped out ;; and the kids / pork soda ;; glass animals / wonderfully bizarre ;; bendigo fletcher / (dream) ;; salvia palth / alien blues ;; yundabar / dust in your pocket ;; glass animals / warm honey ;; willow / bela lugosi’s dead ;; bauhaus / gecgecgec ;; 100 gecs / blinding ;; florence and the machine / nantes ;; beirut / cherry-coloured funk ;; cocteau twins / not allowed ;; tv girl / oblivion ;; grimes / space song ;; beach house / dog food ;; 100 gecs / the leanover life ;; life without buildings.

statistics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.

birthday: april 20th, 2000. 

zodiac: taurus sun, scorpio moon, aries ascending.

mbti & temperament: infp & improvisor / phlegmatic. 

label: the halycon.

sexuality: demisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

cancer tw // it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long. end of cancer tw //

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

depersonalization / derealization tw // it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs. depersonalization / derealization end of tw //

death, decay. maggots tw // there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot. end of death, decay, maggots tw //

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

after ending up with warrants from their arrest in florida (after running from the law in texas), philly and elektra have wound up at irving <3 partially hiding from the law and partially bcos their trusty van’s broken down and they haven’t got the money to fix her up yet. 

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been.

currently living in florence, their van, with her sister elektra <3 currently residing in lilac ridge.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. (smirks at leo)

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra).

has a certain knack for getting animals to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.

wanted plots.

speaking through my third eye ... ;; philly is new in town n shes very strange. constantly lives in a state in which she does not exist (at least on the same plane). this is her harassing the locals. this is her slipping thru their fingertips as they attempt 2 understand her. they get close smtms bt philly jst. whisks herself away.

hollows of our eyelids ... ;; perhaps there is smbdy jst as strange as philly. i’m out here calling fr all the weirdos. lets be friends. lets hv philly n co go on adventures n discover horrible sites n uncover ancient secrets tht lie deep below irving. mayb nt tht. bt im jst saying. this is fr the dreamers. da weirdos. the jugheads. LHKDSHFSADLKGFHLSKADG fr those who also feel as if they r not real.

bills n aches n blues... ;; ya this is my call fr all negative plots. bills (catching philly be a thief and a fraud), aches (mayb heartache? unrecruited feelings or w/e theyre called?), n blues (ooooh so sad... so sad ... angst ...) obviously i am a genius. i wldnt say tht philly is here 2 make enemies bc philly doesnt care much abt ppl bt perhaps tht cld b an issue. tht she doesnt care much abt others. mayb ur muse is jst like. cn u pls care. n philly is like. i am incapable. sry. sucks.

n also ,, ;; like. anything i’ll. take anything. philly is weird lets come up w surreal plots tht verge on the edge of like. nt being correct fr this verse. suddenly theres vampires? or so they think ... smirks. anyways. shes been 2 jail n been in the circus (shoutout 2 kirby) n dances naked in the woods n hoards animals n treasures. we hv a lot to work with here obv. 

[boroughshq]

WELCOME TO THE BOROUGHS, SHAY! Hope the city is everything you dreamed it would be. Make sure to send your account in within 24 hours, and don't forget to follow the checklist as you get settled!

natalia dyer as deryn adler, penned by shay

[ natalia dyer, cis woman, she/her ] — whoa! DERYN ADLER just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for THIRTY YEARS working as a BARTENDER. that can’t be easy, especially at only 30 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit BRUSQUE and SELFISH, but i know them to be RESILIENT and TENACIOUS. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS! — (shay, 32, cst, she/her, none)