#my dog woke me up and now i cant get back to sleep

[kiisuuumii]

who else is up begging the universe for answers

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Gonna complain in the tags

[extervus]

I'm so fucking tired what the fuuuucck

[mitchievousness]

had some weird dreams last night

[dunmeshi-darlings]

omg yippee.

can I ask for you trying to wake Laios up after he falls asleep ontop of you? after like a long day of fighting shit. or something in that vein. he has big dog energy so I feel like its something he would do

(anon i had to use this gif for it, it was to good to pass up lol)

Nobody has ever claimed that adventuring in the dungeon would be easy work, in fact its notorious for being extremely difficult the further and further down you go

So you can imagine after a particularly grueling fight against a monster, that after everyone has eaten they would all be beyond exhausted. So its safe to say that its immediately bed time after senshi finishes up cleaning and everything.

However to your surprise, Laios doesn't head to his sleeping bag and instead heads to you with yours. When you ask him why he responds "after the last fight it looks like my bag got damaged...plus yours is way comfier." he would say with a slight blush. And looking over at his bag you see it fully rolled out and several noticeable large gouges and burn marks on it, seems he wasnt kidding.

You sigh and say that its ok, motioning for him to lay down. You thank yourself for deciding to get the EXTRA large sleeping bag since you often roll around in your sleep. He smiles excitedly and thanks you and takes the leftover pillows and blanket he has and lays down beside you, of course even then you two are still laying next to each other and basically laying side by side.

You cant help but notice just how warm he is, You can feel the heat radiating off of his body and sure you are phsyically touching but even then you note just how warm his body is next to and laying beside you. Of course with how tired you as well as everyone else is, you dont think about this too long before immediately falling asleep.

You have some nightmares about being crushed by a trap in your sleep, however the cause of said nightmares is quickly apparent when you finally wake up and realize that laios is no longer laying next to you....no now he is currently laying on top of you, his large frame draped across your chest and stomach as he he snores happily, an obvious drool stain at the corner of his mouth.

You cant help but chuckle softly, its no wonder laios was sleeping so peacefully. He saved everyones hides during the fight and took some nasty hits, so he definitely has earned his rest...However as you try to slowly move him you realize something very quickly....Laios is VERY heavy.

You hadnt really thought about it at first, But laios Armor is made of incredibly durable (and heavy) plate and with how easily he is able to move around in it as well as carry his sword, Laios has built up quiet a bit of muscle on himself. Add this together with his already impressive height and you have a man who is heavy with more muscle than most people realize.

You regret not listening to namari's advice in regards to building up some muscle mass for yourself as you try to move laios off yourself gently, as adorable as he is sleeping you really need him to move and you dont want to shout to wake him up cause you would feel bad. You struggle, quietly grunting as you try to wiggle out from under him, stopping whenever his snoring stops, only to return to your fruitless wiggling.

While laios doesnt wake up, your wiggling and quiet grunting drew Chilchucks attention once he finally woke. He tiredly looked over at you as you simply whispered "help me" to which he sighs and stands up, taking sleepy steps towards you and laios as he starts repeatedly smacking laios in the face. "hey laios! wake up your crushing Y/N"

After a few smacks laios's eyes groggily open as he rolls off you, yawning loudly and stretching before looking down and realizing he was laying on top of you. He blushes and rubs the back of his head, saying he was sorry. "sorry, so used to sleeping with my dogs where we would all just lay on top of each other and fall asleep, my bad."

Now that you are free from your meaty blond haired prison, you cant help but laugh at the situation, this was definitely something everyone will be able to make jokes about from here on out.

[bedforddanes75]

G I LOVED THE NEW COWBOYS CHAPTER SO MUCH I-

He likes those hands, solid and strong – they help. He likes his own well enough, but George's are prettier.

He has the prettiest hands fr

But George seems…hateful. Not that he’s rude, but he sometimes speaks of queerness and how it's the work of the Devil, and it makes Matty think over himself and wonder if letting him live with him was a bad choice. 

NOOOOO poor matty and poor george im so mad i want them together already 🥺🥺

He's sort of confused at how George could've held it, walked with it, and not been attacked, but he doesn't ask, in fact, the thought almost melts out of his ears the second he sees George, because he’s, all of a sudden, beautiful. His hair is wet from the rain Matty didn't even realise was happening, and his face is equally so. He looks like he could be in one of those tacky magazines he sees in the corner shops, except real, and better.

From oh how sweet he is look how tendrr the rabbit is with him to horny.

“I’ll put it in my pocket,” George tells him, and Matty frowns, grimaces.

“Mate, it’s gonna rip you to shreds if you try that. Don’t”

George doesn’t look sure, brows slanting. “It didn't do that before…”

NOOOO WHY IS HE SO CUTE I CANT WITH THE LITTLE THING IN HIS POCKET 🥺🥺🥺🥺

He doesn’t seem to have been bothered by anything that Matty usually was since they’ve met, which Matty thinks is funny, because other than that, he seems perpetually terribly stressed. He can be odd at times.

I love george i wanna hug him

As they speak over dinner, George mentions his horse, and Matty gets a memory of seeing him with mud all down his shirt, and soaking wet hair, just standing next to her, and he almost spits his food out. 

Moans.

George thins his eyes. “I can’t well abandon her! She’s odd, I like her too much. And she’s mine. And my boots are fine, thank you.” 

CRYING DONT DO THIS TO ME

He, unfortunately, does still seem skittish, and that can’t be ignored, because he can’t even put George’s plate down at dinnertime without him flinching.

Why are u making me sad poor georgi 🥺🥺🥺🥺

hi so im . going to cry i just woke up im EMOTIONAL shut up pls im THANK U SO MUCH ☹️☹️❤️❤️

i always want an excuse to speak about his hands they are. beautiful 🙂‍↕

i Also want them 2gether now but unfortunately i was stupid when i started writing this and that does Not happen yet ❤️ peace and love

that's my train of thought Duh. inspired by this pic btw like its haunting me hes soo pretty and. yes. i know its a dog but shut up. imagine he has the outfit and looks from the first one though 🙂‍↕

rabbit in his pocket !!! he will be Very nice and he would let the rabbit sleep in his bed if he was allowed. alas. but its coming back i think so

i Also want to hug him i wish he was real so i could kiss his forehead and tuck him in bed

??!?!??!?!??!?! WDYM MOANS HES SPITTING FOOD OUT HOW IS THAT MOANS WDYM

he wont abandon the horse that was just me frantically trying to give a reason for them Having horses. but also. no i wont i like the name joke too much

im making u sad because its my Fav thing to do 😁😁😁 put The Guys into pain and then resolve it and have everything nice and sweet and happy

ok thank u again this made me cry a little bit like Picking parts out pls im gonna cry

[darcyolsson]

why have the past 24 hours just been minor disaster after minor disaster for me ..... went on a good date last night but it ended w the guy I've been seeing saying he wanted to talk about "us" next time we see each other (next week) so now im scared he's going dump me, then the neighbours dog woke me up at 3 am and I couldn't get back to sleep afterwards so I showed up to work exhausted, work was extremely busy and several things went wrong which led to me embarrassing myself, then I called my dentist bc I also woke up w an insane toothache but I found out cant see him until monday, then I went to physiotherapy and my therapist told me she doesn't know what to do anymore so she wanted to end treatment even though I'm still in pain, then I realised i forgot to buy onions for dinner, THEN after accepting my onion-less dinner I found out I also bought the wrong kind of tofu and it was unusable, and now im going to bed. it's been too much

[safetyobstacles]

starting o segredo na floresta now, im either gonna finish this in a week or its gonna take months good luck me

update - i love joui

joui, its a little cloudy out, roll for sanity. joe, you stubbed your toe, roll sanity. joui did you just frown???????? roll a sanity test with disadvantage. that was cool joui, you gain 1 sanity. just kidding somewhere in the netherlands a child tripped and scraped their knee, you lose 10 sanity.

i think im going to put my updates under the cut instead of spamming posts B) beware of spoil

UPDATE

if cellbit takes liz or thiago from me ill never forgive him

this bar has to be its own paranormal entity, thiago would have died if the gun had a bullet in it and cristopher nearly got knifed to death in their first fight loll

EP 2

npc thiago about to be the most useless mf ever i swear if he dies to a stray ant or something ill cry just put him in a box for safe keeping

what would i do without the mental image of joui dropkicking every monster he sees

liz why are you finger painting with the ooze monsters remains and why did it give you 1 hp ?????? NEVERMIND

EP 3

RACCOON bro has 8 health but he sure is happy

faz um teste de sanidade

when i said thiago was gonna die to an ant i didnt actually mean kill him with giant spiders

cristopher no please dont climb a tree these are spiders they can climb nah bro cristopher is dead af im gonna miss him. bro cellbit just kill him already bros dead 2 hp

damn

ep 4

at this rate luba doesnt even need to roll sanity we all know hes gonna fail anyways joui's having the worst two days of his life

jesus christ i just woke up i cant handle this shit cesar's punching a hole in my itty bitty heart bones

please stop talking about leticio's cacetinho

EP 5 how long is too long for a tumblr post btw

the starting soon screen replaced cris with arthur notlikethis

cellbit is far too happy about them going to this house i hate it i hate it

i would like for them to leave a casa now :))) they got gregório time to go :) DAMN JOUI JUST GOT STEAMROLLED BY THAT ZOMBIE ROLLED A 99 VS CELLS 1 jesus christ thiago LOL NO WAY GREGÓRIO IS DEAD AF bro was just taking a nap in the car and this is what he gets

that was horribly stressful its 3 am how am i supposed to sleep after that

to be fair, if i was rodolfo and liz didnt use the tazer, i would have just dragged gregório in front of arthur and killed him in right in front of his face soo...

ROLLED 100 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL a caverna

COOL GUY ALERT HOPE HE DOESNT KILL BRULIO HAHAhahaaa

EP 6 I HAVE GREAT ANXIETY THIS MESTRE GUY IS ABOUT TO KILL HALF THE SQUAD

luba i know youve been rolling absolute dog shit the last 5 episodes but this one really counts buddy brulio :(

most stressful hour of youtube ive ever sat through i cant believe they all lived

A PORTA FORTE

EP 7 im so glad they're going back to the house im so happy ive never wanted anything else this is great nothing could go wrong in this house nothing

7 episodes in and ive just now realised that he keeps talking about circles and spirals and those have significance with a certain element and now i want them to leave carpazinha go back home forget this ever happened

undressing with the homies in the haunted basement next to a dead old man

not thiago canonically talking to a bookshelf after complaining about joui's whispering to his shotgun

THIS GRAVE IS SO COMPLICATEDDDD I BET ITS FUCKING EMPTY THEYRE ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO "knock out" AN OLD LADY AND ITS PROBABLY JUST WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAVEEE

this whole graveyard scene has me in tears thiago staring at nothing while they try to get him to unmute, old guy on the phone, joui picking up the old lady i just laughed so hard i feel ill

the one time joui doesnt fail a roll he loses 6 SANITY?? 8 SANITY?????????????? SENHORA VOCE TA BEM????? YOU JUST CHOKED HER OUT JOUI WAIT SHES GONNA DIE??????????? SHES GOING TO DIE???????????? THE GASOLINE IN THE MOUTH??

grounded from the shotgun for 1 week

EP 8

Thiago's pants are still fucked up from last episode btw

about to have a tpk over alchohol poisoning

if cesar survives this campaign hes gonna put as many points possible into forgery

a caverna im goign fuckign crazy the god of tdeath pr spomething is in this cave theyre gonna walk inside trip on a pebble and get eaten by hundreds of tiny cave beetles

Victor is absolutely about to get his face eated by a spider and/or be swallowed by the cave

ok but santo berço looks kinda cool like i would live there

EP 9 he just (re?)released osnf merch but i refuse to be spoiled by absolutely anything ive done so well i will not be tainted by cesar's really cool green on black long sleeve

wait i love the gatekeeper its a shame this town is probably a hallucination and theyre all actually slowly dying in the middle of the forest GIANT COWS I LOVE THE GIANT COWS WITH REGULAR SIZED HEADS

????????????????????????????????FELPS??????????????????????

buttery butter

thiago this is why you should have quit smoking

?????FELPS?????????

EP 10 so if thiago hadnt used the lighter would felps still be alive, probably just would have died later B)

bro joui has got to buy new dice this is crazy

this is gonna be the average 2 star motel experience BRO JUST DABBED ON CESAR liz is about to get bodied by the hallway ghosts this is just like a regular motel HUH UHHHHHHH

no joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy

mom i want to go home i dont want to stay in santo berço anymore jesus christ

EP 11 how am i supposed to just start the next episode after that i think the mental image of brulio beating arthurs skull in is burned into my brain space

sandwich sandwich

i love the giant cows so much i want one GIANT CHICKEN LAY GIANT EGG I LOVE THE GIANT CHICKEN intimidating the human sized pig

EP 12 still thinking about how cellbit thought new zealand was so close to europe, he was so sure of it that he was making me unsure of where i knew new zealand was

both times thiago was played by cellbit some horrific shit happened so with arthur being an npc this episode im prepared for the worst also this starting soon screen is fucking wicked

are you telling me joui's max sanity is now 12 bros been losing it for so long hes stuck like this joui is the "damn, you live like this?" meme

CELLBO ROLEPLAYED TOO HARD HIS HEADSET JOINED AS AN ENEMY AND BEAT HIS SETUP

"that sounds like a book title" bro let the intrusive thought win

baby nidere

no way the cow has been suffering this whole time ill cry

theyre about to rp their way into an angry medieval mob when they get found with the body of the dead gatekeeper B) does santo berço have dungeons, bc if they do thats where theyll be sleeping tonight nvm the gatekeeper has demons inside him sorry joui HUh no way they killed the gatekeeper dude wtf

EP 13 chat's a bit excited to go in the cave guys if anyone reads this what am i supposed to do once i finish this season. what do you mean i just have to go onto desconjuração. what do you mean i have to leave this story behind. please let me keep all the characters in this one.

THE CAVE MAP IS COOOOOOL THE LIGHT MOVES WITH THE MINER everyone struggling to flip their characters 5 mins into the cave made me laugh so hard i had to pause to breathe

I LOVE MOLES DUDE THEYRE SO COOL ok but i dont love this many moles BRO I LOVE MOTHS TOO THIS IS AWESOME wait no i hate bats THIS MOTH IS SUFFERINGGGGG

THE SUCC hes about to kill them all with the Succ out of spite thiago never mock one of cellbit's monsters again ARTHUR ZIUM

door door door door door door door door door door the gatekeeper is alive???

ih arthur nah dude let go of cesar :(((((((((((( gotta hand it to arthur hes survived two of these situations now get it, hand it to him, CAUSE HE LOST HIS FUCKING ARM WTF HIS ARM DETATCH LIKE A LEGO sorry i vote we still kill the gatekeeper just in case just to be safe

EP 14 did cellbit have a past traumatic experience with a vacuum is that why he created the Succ

agatha?????? bro agatha's life sucked big pp

every time cellbit says hes excited for something i grow more afraid

if they kill and eat the gatekeeper would he also taste delicious just wondering

i think i might know the reason why 12 sanity joui has a funky grey form but 55 sanity thiago doesnt, but maybe im crazy nevermind thiago had the funky grey within him this whole time wait does that mean hes gonna die if santo berço dies DAMN

joui just really wants to see thiago naked also hes just blatantly stealing arthur's knife he really is losing all his sanity that was possibly the most unconvincing "nada" ive ever heard

EP 15 before i start a new episode i always go to the vod on twitch and watch the memes first so i can go "hehe" for five minutes, and then go "oh no" for the next 4 hours

hypothetically, if joui managed to get the symbol on him before anyone noticed would he have just lost all 12 of his sanity and gone mad cuz that would have been crazy :,)

this is it cellbit is finally going to kill npc thiago joui is so very happy about his shotgun i thought maybe he was getting better but hes whispering to it again

alright whats up with cellbit and the outwards opening doors because i swear i have never seen a door that opens out instead of in, are all the doors like that in his home these doors are made to have creatures attack from inside ih i just checked like 3 times to make sure i was on the right episode lmaoooo

"pobre martha" DAAAAAAMN MARIANA ICE COLD

one buff woman vs all 3 equipe kelvin who will win (1 woman) crazy that equipe kelvin managed to accomplish what took our group 9 episodes to get to lool they even got the leticio cacetinho dlc, but they did skip the spider boss fight and the entire house level

THE BLACKSMITH IS MIGUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 16 the joui, liz, and arthur cosplay look like theyre going to a nice dinner meanwhile thiago, kenan, and cesar just look homeless

idk if thiago's making it out of this one :,) maybe we just take thiago's weapons its not like he can do much to help anyways kenan wants to skin him listen brother i dont think thats gonna work im at the 52 min mark and cellbit is acting sus af the blacksmith is about to appear and stomp them all or something

joui would roll a 99 and nearly knife cesar and liz is trying so hard not to metagame her way to the explosive backpack loving how trigger happy joui is right now go on guys give him more explosives what the worst that could happen

is kenan also a wellspring do they have to kill him cuz thats gonna be kind of awkward and on that note since thiago has the symbol on him does that make him a wellspring too ill cry i will cry

NOT JOUI APOLOGIZING FOR LYING ABOUT HIS SAMURAI ANCESTRY

damn that scene between joui, liz, and thiago was the best in the entire season

i would like to take this moment before they all get swallowed alive by some horrible sludge tentacle monster to proclaim my absolute hatred of Santo Berço. I know i said at the end of episode 8 that i thought it looked cool but im over it ive moved past that point in my life i hate Santo Berço

BIG GOOEY MEATBALL

"the people are happy here!" says the blacksmith as he currently has 5 people forcefully locked up for decades that have gone mad with probably no way of ever regaining their sanity i just realised miguel and the old blacksmith fucked and had a kid

final boss aboutta come crawling out of the meatball please stop trying to skin thiago the symbol isnt gonna come off

THAT WAS SICK AF THEYRE ALL DEAD AS HELL

???????????????????? "kenan you have one last sane move before i take your character and throw him off a cliff"

:(

post i made after i finished osnf (made like 3 days later because i was so so so so so so so so so so sad)

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/739056899257942016/i-finished-osnf-after-almost-2-months-and-you-know?source=share

[finitevoid]

i get that like mostly the problem is that i have sleep problems because i have like post traumatic stress disorder or something but also the counter of days hes woken me up at 4 am either yelling, swearing, or slamming doors, usually some combination of the 3, is now at 5. i need you to understand that i keep waking up to the sounds of him yelling. the other day i was roused from a dream about my fanfiction to the dulcet tones of him yelling FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU over and over again for a solid 30 seconds. I have deduced that he is annoyed at the dog. because i will wake up to him yelling. the front door will slam. it will open again. all will be quiet. and then 20 minutes later, just as i am coaxing my prey animal body into going back to sleep again, i hear the dog whine. This is always how it starts. the dog whines and my uncle says No. and then the dog whines some more. and then my uncle says no some more and then the dog whines some more until hes fucking FUCK YOU STUPID BITCH ASSHOLE and then the front door slams again.

the problem with this is that waking up to doors slamming and people yelling makes me have a pretty normal and understandable anxiety response which then causes me to be not only awake but completely alert and aware of all my surroundings as my hell brain decides whether or not there is a threat to my safety. And obviously there isnt but you try to be normal when youre being woken up by a grown man yelling at 4 in the fucking morning. so i wont fall back asleep afterwards, or at least not until like 9 am in which case What, pray tell, is the point,

i have not been able to sleep more than 4 hours a night because he keeps yelling at the top of his fucking lungs before the sun even rises for almost a week. he woke me up through a pair of earplugs on sunday because he slammed his bedroom door so hard it shook the entire wall. i dont know what is happening in his swiss cheese brain that makes him need to act like a teenaged boy on adderall but i am hitting levels of sleep deprivation that are borderline comical. men will see a mouse and eat it men will have to take care of their own pet and scream at the top of their lungs. im convinced the birds outside know his yells. maybe even our neighbors enjoy the sweet sound of Man in his fifties taking out his stress on his dog. if he does not stop soon i am going to . I cant finish this post actually because every way im conceiving to end that sentence would come off as an actual threat

[dungeons-are-too-cold]

This is a Steve thinking about Eddie Munson's death post season 4 finale song.

I'm singin' at a funeral tomorrow For a kid a year older than me And I've been talkin' to his dad, it makes me so sad When I think too much about it, I can't breathe

Steve has been fighting this upside mess for years, since he was 16? 17? and eddie? He's only a year older than steve is. Its almost as if Steve looks at eddie and sees his future in a way, as if he cant see himself making it past 19, because Eddie is his future, eddie is what is could become.

And so Steve starts talking to Wayne. Going around the trailer to see him, and talk to him. Gets to know eddie through him. And sometimes it drives him to panic, because eddie was really still a kid. And he had people who loved him. And now he's gone.

And I have this dream where I'm screamin' underwater While my friends are wavin' from the shore And I don't need you to tell me what that means I don't believe in that stuff anymore

Steve still has nightmares from getting sucked into Watergate. Swimming down there with nothing but a flashlight in a plastic grocery bag, like some epic hero. But he looks upin his dream, just for a moment, and sees eddie, robin, and nancy stare down at him as he gets sucked through and pulled into the bats. And they just... stay there. They dont come after him.

But what the fuck are nightmares compared to the real horrors they faced in the upside down?

Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time And that's just how I feel Always have and I always will I always have and always will

the constant numb, the constant low, its just become what he knows. and whenever he finds a reprieve... in nancy, or robin, or eddie, it can get ripped away from him at a moments notice. Hes always felt this ache, and now he always will.

I have a friend I call When I've bored myself to tears And we talk until we think we might just kill ourselves But then we laugh until it disappears

When it gets bad, bad enough that steve cant handle it on his own anymore, he calls Robin. Sometimes it starts in a panic, but most of the time, he wants to talk about anything but the upside down.

But they know each other so well, are bonded together, that sometimes it cycles into what steve really doesnt wanna talk about. it turns into the Russians and the bone saw, it turns into the look on dustins face when they made it back to eddie, it turns to the funeral and the busted lip steve got when jason carver tried to spit into the ground after eddie's casket. And Steve thinks... it would be easier to just end everything. Die on his own terms. Not get chased by dogs, or torn to shreds by bats, or choked out by vecna.

But he cant think like that, so robin makes some dumb joke about muppets, or a darth vader force choking reference, and it lightens the weight of his chest just enough to get a laugh out. And whether he's sleepy or delirious or jaded or all three, it turns into a belly laugh, and he'll finally sleep for the first time that week.

And last night I blacked out in my car And I woke up in my childhood bed Wishin' I was someone else, feelin' sorry for myself When I remembered someone's kid is dead

I fear this is self explanatory.

Steve driving hawkins. Maybe he goes back to lovers lake and just, sits for hours. maybe he swings by the decimated trailer park, but hes too scared to get out.

Until he drives back home in a haze, falling into his bed in his parents empty house, and weeps. He weeps for the life he could have had, he weeps for the life he does have, he just cries until theres nothing left for him to cry anymore.

and when that sobbing haze starts to sober, he thinks about eddie.

and how eddie is dead.

and steve is still here.

and he finds more tears to cry.

And it's 4 AM again And I'm doin' nothing Again

[causenessus]

hi my dearest loveliness !! good evening afternoon OR morning I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL TODAY!! AND I HOPE YOUVE EATEN!! i literally just woke up (it’s 3pm…. my parents literally watched me come out of my room and were like ???)(you just woke up???)LMFAO BUT BUT i’m back to work tomorrow so i wanted to sleep in a lot today(I HAVE A 9-5:30 RIGHT OFF THE BAT)(MY WORK HATES ME??)but omg i just saw the ask from sav(sorry am i allowed to call her that too)(IM SORRY IDK) and i was like AWWWW “you and your mango anon” I AM NESS’ MANGO ANON idk why i thought it was so cute and sweet like YOU GIGGLE AND READ THEM?? THATS SO CUTE?? IM GONNA EXPLODE?? but let’s all yap together this is yap central(a safe place for yappers)

omg last night i got so many notifs if you answering every ask bat to bat and I FELT SO BAD BECAUSE I WROTE A LOT YESTERDAY BUT YOU STILL ANSWERED EACH ASK WITH LIKE SO SO MUCH PASSION??(idk if that’s the right word) but you always answer each ask with ur heart like non of it is halfassed(sorry am i allowed to swear)(IVE BEEN REFRAINING FROM SWEARING BECAUSE IDK I DONT THINK IVE SEEN YOU SWEAR OUTSIDE YOUR SMAUS???)(or idk i’m crazy i think i’m crazy)

I WOULD SHARE WHAT CONCERT IT WAS LIKE I WAS GOING TO but i was like omg i’m gonna dox myself LOL BUT actually you know what’s so funny i don’t even live in the states(LORE DROP) ALSO DECLAN MCKENNA?? THATS SO COOL THAT YOU GOT TO SEE HIM i think he’s on tour again right now?? or just performing right now (I THINK) im pretty sure i saw on ticketmaster! i would 100% go but literally my bank account is decreasing a little too much for my liking and it’s time to lock in and go ultra saving mode LOL BUT OMG MITSKI??? stop it if i was rich i would 100% fly over to your state and buy tickets for you and me and we could go together and have our losing dogs moment(on repeat by eggy always in my heart)(literally one of my fav smaus LOL)

ness i will read every single part of your response LITERALLY I WILL READ AND ABSORB EVERY PART SO do not worry your pretty little head(as i said this i imagined myself tapping your head with a pretty little fairy stick)BUT OMG ME AND YOU WORKING AT ILLEGAL AGES(actually actually hold on)okay because i started working my retail job when i was 15 but i was like a week away from turning 16 but they accepted me anyways? idk it’s kind of silly but i remember saying i was 15 but turning 16 in a “few days” (i think it was a week and a bit) and they were like mmmm okay! here’s your training days blah blah blah LOL listen i really wanted a job… i always felt bad asking my parents for money so i was like you know what ILL get my own money(here i am 2-3 years later still trapped in retail)also i totally get the hostess thing because my friend works at olive garden as a hostess and like it SOUNDS SO STRESSFUL? because like… you’re kinda in control of how much tips a person gets? (if that makes sense) and it just feels ITS TOO STRESSFUL FOR ME TO FANTOM LIKE i cant i feel like im too much of a people pleaser where id just be like oh! oh you don’t want this table? okay! oh i have you too many tables? i’m sorry! my bad! let me do it! ALSO IDK i hate fixed schedules like i like the random rotation every week LOL like it’s kinda a surprise!! like omg what days am i working today type of thing you know! BUT OMG THEM KEEPING YOU ON STANDBY IS CRAZY AFTER YOU QUIT LOL they love you so much they want to keep you <3 i can’t blame them <3 ness is a very lovable person <3 but restaurant environments are different from retail idk how you do it like I APPAUD YOU AND EVERY OTHER RESTAURANT WORKER because like dealing with hangry people everyday like… i already deal with impatient customers which make me wanna pull my hair like i remember one time during this rush we had everyone on cash like everyone on the tills right and this guy came up to my till and he’s like “yall need more workers” LIKE CANT YOU SEE EVERYONE ON THE TILLS RIGHT NOW??WE ARE TRYING OUR BEST !! and i was deadass like “haha sorry….. would you like a bag for 50 cents?”

ALSO YOURE SO BUSY WHAT?? your schedule is so jacked up HOW DO YOU DO IT??? like literally uni + job AND THEATRE??? and also the fact that you have more than one job?? PLS PLS PLS EAT AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF LOVE YOURE GONNA BURN OUT </3

omg if i worked lights with you it would’ve been so so so much better like i’m not discrediting the light people i worked with BUT it was the fact that they were a year younger right so they didn’t really know what they were doing since all our light crew graduated and for some reason people didn’t like doing lights as much? so they were just first years doing lights and i had to help out a bunch and kind of guide them BCUZ IDK WHY MY TECH TEACHER DIDNT DO IT RIGHT so i had to focus on sound PLUS helping the lights people which i don’t really mind too much when we’re just having rehearsals but like during shows i was a little more stressed because they weren’t that confident and was always asking just to make sure and it was 100% not their fault of course but I WAS STILL STRESSED and doing my hardest to help him while trying to also keep track of where the play was(sorry very messy)(i too am like you and i do NOT proof read these whatsoever) IF I COULD I WOULD DROP EVERYTHING AND FLY THERE !! we could be the light + sound duo because i literally miss my tech days like i lowkey thought about doing it in uni but IDK WHY I DIDNT !! I SHOULDVE !! also another suna smau would heal me (LMFAO NO PRESSURE) BUT I LITERALLY LOVE ALL OF INARIZAKI?? like they all have my heart(especially kita and osamu like oh my god)BUT OH MY GOD IF YOU DO I THINK ILL CRY LIKE “OMG THATS ME GUYS” “I AM MANGO ANON !!!” BUT you have sooooo much stuff lined up so DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH!! what you’ve been giving right now (TRY AGAIN AND TONICS <333) is already so good like the idea and concepts AND IM SO EXCITED FOR THEM TOO AHH

THE CAST NOT BEINF ABLE TO PROJECT THEIR VOICES ARE SO REAL !!! maybe i’m just saying this because i only did plays in high school right so it was a bunch of kids right but it was soooo frustrating because like SPEAK UP but also the fact that some cast got better mics than others? like tell me why i can’t hear this lead but i can hear this random person playing a citizen like?? BUT LITERALLY WHEN MICS DIE I LITERALLY WANNA JUST FALL TO THE FLOOR LIKE and the director is just like “keep going” LIKE DONT KEEP GOING WHAT? I CANT HEAR? like i literally feel like i have to focus my energy like some type of anime character to my ears just to hear a SNIPPET of what they’re saying but then sometimes i get in trouble for missing cues </3 LIKE I’M SORRY IT ISNT MY FAULT LIKE MAYBE GET BETTER SPEAKERS AND MICS?? also not you literally running the whole tech crew like rewiring the motherboard and climbing stuff like ness mvp tech girl LOL BUT I GET NOT WANTING TO THINK ABOUT THOSE TIMES LIKE i swear all tech/cast crew environments are SO toxic like i literally remember one of the cast fainting because like we literally got no breaks at all so she was probably overwhelmed with the lighting and everything else then that’s when the director was like ok… let’s take a break like YOU THINK??

ALSO YOURE SO RIGHT if the previous men i’ve talked to is on tumblr reading cutesy little haikyuu x femreader stuff THEN THATS ANOTHER PROBLEM(NO STOP I LITERALLY GIGGLED SO HARD WHEN YOU SAID THAT LOL)(everytime i read your responses im always smiling and giggling like i always reread it too LOL) but omg ness… the quarantine online gaming breakout season is such a canon event like BECAUSE ME TOOOOO LOL(we are so soulmates) mine was a mix of minecraft and roblox and I LITERALLY MET A WHOLE GROUP ONLINE TOO IT WAS CRAZY the ptsd flashbacks is so real but THATS SO GIRLBOSS OF YOU LIKE YES!! CALL MEN OUT ON THEIR SHIT!!(sorry swearing again) BE NO MANS PEACE!! i will literally find him and politely beat him up for you <333 TIME FOR LORE DROP AND IF THE PERSON READS THIS THEN ??? WELL ??? oh well LOL but anyways so i was in this little online group idk i kind of just found them through twitter and i was like WHY NOT so i became friends with this guy he went by socks(discord names are so real)and like we got really close right and like he was the only person i really VC’d with (AND AND TO BE FAIR I THINK ITS BECAUSE WE WERE LIKE THE BABIES OF THE GROUP) like we were the same age while everyone else was like 19-25ish now(idk what i was doing hanging out with them as a minor but oh well)(i’m 18 now so it’s ok!)(but i literally don’t talk to any of them now LOL)but i remember this one specific conversation where he was like teaching me spanish?? because i don’t know i was teaching him viet too so it was just a silly little thing and i translated it(this was through texts like i still have the screenshot LOL) and he basically confessed to me through text in spanish right then afterwards they were like JK JK JK!! IDK idk if it was real or not but we drifted a lot after that so idk! sock if ur out there !! im sorry !! to be fair though they didn’t give me a chance to reply because i had to translate it then when i came back to the chat they were like IM JK IM JK SO idk! I GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW!! also i will def report back when i get a poke bowl but im very very picky about the way i eat raw fish bevause sometimes it’s okay but when there’s an overwhelming amount i kind of get scared and im like hmmm maybeeee.. not this time… LOL It really depends for me!! but maybe ill try the imitation crab one if i see it!

AND UR SO RIGHT ONE DAY I WILL COME TO YOU AND I WILL BE UR GUARD DOG AT WORK !!! i’m glad yesterday was better! hopefully it keeps getting better, i will fight off the bad omens for you ness i will stand in the front lines fighting them off I COULD NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU but i will be a tiny tiny bit upset because I WANT YOU TO EAT WELL AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !! eggs and toast is so real but don’t worry :( a meal is a meal and you did good by getting up and making yourself something small! little steps are okay, i will be here along the way so don’t worry! take your time <333 I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR DAY!! (it literally took me an hour to write this because now it’s 4:30)(BUT i did eat in between writing) I HAD RICE AND CHICKEN YIPPPPEE!! i had to take a little break to eat then i continued writing LOL(but so real on saying ill go back but you never do because … me too)(i’m too lazy to look back on what i wrote so ill just trust myself) (mango anon loves you very much pls take care of yourself) (ALSO) i just realized i could make the font smaller (thank you again sav for the idea) so it would be easier to scroll pass these LOL BUT ANYWAYS MAKE SURE TO EAT AND REST WELL !!! xoxoxoxo

HELLO MY LOVE!!! MY DAY WAS PRETTY OKAY!! BESIDES THE CAR CRISIS OFC 😭😭 AND PLEASE WAKING UP AT 3PM IS SO REAL I'VE DONE THAT BEFORE </33 AND ESPECIALLY IF U WORK A 9-5:30 TOMORROW DEFINITELY GET ALL THE SLEEP YOU CAN GET!! REST UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PLS <3 MAKE SURE TO DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND BRING PLENTY WITH YOU TOMORROW AND PLEASE EAT!! and don't apologize at all you're def okay to call sav sav as well (i'm pretty sure!!) AND YOU ARE MY MANGO ANON <33 AND I LOVE U SM!! AND I LOVE UR PARANTHESES LMAO THEY'RE SO CUTE <3 YES YAP CENTRAL!!

AND omg mango anon i just have to tell you like how honored i am <3 like i feel so seen by you!! the way you see the passion in my writing and like notice that i don't curse outside of my writing pls :(( my face is literally going :((( rn /pos i try not to curse outside of my writing just bc it's not my thing!! but ofc you can and like sometimes i still do!! definitely do whatever you want AND SORRY FOR ALL THE NOTIFS YESTERDAY AND TODAY SINCE I'M DOING THE SAME THING LMAO 😭 i'm the one that lets them bunch up so dw about them at all!! and mango anon i genuinely love talking and replying to you so so much AND I'M REALLY SO THANKFUL FOR EVERY ASK FROM ANYONE SO OFC I'LL BE ANSWERING IT WITH PASSION!! I GET WHAT YOU MEAN ENTIRELY AND I'M GLAD THAT GETS ACROSS WELL <3 I JUST APPRECIATE YOU ALL SM <3

AND YOU DEF DON'T HAVE TO SAY WHAT CONCERT YOU WENT TO!! I WAS WORRIED ABOUT LIKE THAT DOXXING U OR SOMETHING bc i had no idea you didn't live in the states!!! i definitely automatically assumed that and that maybe u had went to a different state since we were in the same timezone for a little bit but that makes total sense and that was my bad for assuming 😭😭 BUT AA YES!! I'D LOVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND MAYBE I WILL <3 LIKE HIS TICKETS DEF ARE NOT BAD PRICING AND HE'S AMAZING!!! i'm just insanely broke and like ik he's touring with sabrina carpenter rn or something??? which is super cool and good for him!! and sabrina's cool but i don't think i'd enjoy or be able to afford her concerts 😭 and that's okay!! maybe my tickets were cheap the time i went to see him bc it was a little more niche <3 AND AAA YES I WISH WE COULD SEE MITSKI TOGETHER!! the entire crowd would be in tears over i bet on losing dogs like that's our national anthem FRFR!!!!

I WAS IMAGINING THE PRETTY LITTLE FAIRY STICK WITH U thank you for tapping my head <33 AND I ALSO READ ABSORB EVERYTHING U TELL ME SO PLEASE YAP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!! AND DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT SMALL FONT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO <3 YOU DO WHATEVER YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEART DESIRES!!! (i am giving ur heart a kiss rn mwah <3) BUT PLEASE THE ILLEGAL JOBS FR SOME PLACES BE CRAZY AND THEY STILL GET AWAY WITH IT!!! BUT YOU GET IT EXACTLY like at the restaurant i often work at we often just have a rotation with no server sections bc it's pretty small (i'd only be forced to do sections when i worked with my manager who made me want to DIE and made me cry once i literally ran out and cried next to a steakhouse across from us) and so basically i just sit people at random tables (i always ask them like "is this table okay?" and i'm not really asking them like girl i have better things to be doing than escorting you around this restaurant trying to see what table tickles your fancy the best. i just ask them so i don't sound super forward like "THIS IS YOUR TABLE SUCK IT UP." yk??) and whoever's turn it is next, they get it so i'll tell them like "table three for two people" so like I REALLY DO NOT CONTROL WHAT CUSTOMERS A SERVER GETS BUT THEY ALL COME AND COMPLAIN AT ME FOR HOW BAD THEIR TABLES ARE (probably bc they're trying to guilt trip me or be passive aggressive) BUT LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?? I'M NOT PURPOSELY GIVING PEOPLE BAD OR GOOD TABLES LIKE 😭😭 and i'm sure it's even worse at places like olive garden which are way bigger! and you have to work with other hosts and more people so best of luck to your friend she's doing amazing <3 AND YOU GET IT!! LIKE IT'D PROABABLY BE NICE TO HAVE A FIXED SCHEDULE BUT ALSO I COULDN'T DO IT I LOVE BEING SCHEDULED ON RANDOM DAYS EVERY WEEK I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMING also the guy who told you you guys needed more workers??? THANK YOU SIR FOR STATING THE OBVIOUS!! I HAD NO IDEA, LET ME, JUST A PERSON WHO WORKS HERE, NOT A MANAGER OR ANYTHING, GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT ON AN APRON AND START HELPING SINCE WE NEED MORE WORKERS!! CONGRATS YOU'RE HIRED!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON 😭 I ALREADY FEEL SO BURNT OUT I'M REALLY HOPING THINGS WILL CALM DOWN AFTER SEPTEMBER IG (WHEN I STOP WORKING TWO JOBS) OR BY NOVEMEBER AT LEAST (WHEN THEATRE IS OVER) BUT WE'LL SEE </3 i'm sure things will continue to come up but i fr just want to lay down and sleep until 3pm like u did today 😔😔 that sounds so nice </3

AND PLEASE WHY IS YOUR TECH THEATRE STORIES THE SAME AS MINE like i was a run and props kid until my school's musical sophomore year where we got these three boys who all wanted to do tech and we had too many run and props kids so i was like "yk what. let me go to lights so that hopefully u three can be together" which didn't even work out bc one of the boys got thrown into lights with me while the other two were on run and props but were on opposite wings LMAO and so that was my first show doing lights which i did board op for because it was also our last show of the year which was also our like senior who knew everything about lights' last show so after that she GRADUATED and i was the one left to figure everything out 😭😭 and then the year after we lost our senior that knew everything about sound so my senior year was a STRUGGLE omg...bad times. but then i left that department a mess bc i could no longer care. like that lights kid wanted my job so badly? fine, fend for urself bro i'm not teaching u anything (sorry i am spiteful against that kid still LMAO) I ALSO THOUGHT ABOUT DOING TECH IN UNI!! my junior year i was fully planning to go to school to get a bfa for lighting design (new grounds was such a self insert for me LMAO) and my tech director literally pushed me to do it but then i decided i really did not want to be in these toxic stressful environments for the rest of my life 😭 BUT IF I HAD YOU!!! I DEF ACTUALLY WOULDN'T MIND <3 WE WOULD BE THE BEST DUO EVER I KNOW IT!! WE'D BOTH KNOW HOW TO DO OUR JOBS AND THAT WOULD BE LITERALLY GROUND BREAKING!! i mean even just reading ur stories i could feel the stress of like managing EVERYTHING i am so sorry for u mango anon but i am with u completely and from one tech mother to another, thank u for ur services 🫡 (i say tech mother bc WOMEN IN STEM!! in my entire four years of high school our top of the mill techies were always girls until we had this one run and props guy ruin it 🙄 he's actually the same guy who i used to like and the one who my mutual friend tried to get us to go to prom together but like i would NEVER UGHGHGH sorry he's also so frustrating to deal with i need to stop thinking about those times and this is exactly why i didn't actually go into theatre for school LMAOO) BUT YES AAA!! I WILL UPDATE YOU ON THE SUNA TECH SMAU AND I LOVE ALL OF INARIZAKI TOO <33333 haruichi furudate really put his whole budget into that team like please everyone on there is so pretty and beautiful and amazing and pookie shaped i love them sm <33 AND LOWKEY i was feeling like a stage manager reader (probably usually audio head but is stage managing this show) x lights head suna...bc i think that'd just be a crazy dynamic of her lowkey being in a higher position than him and he's just teasing and messing with her the whole time..BUT IDK and ik like theatre works differently in college but THIS IS MY WORLD AND WRITING SO I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!! i also have absolutely nothing actually planned out for the smau so who even knows LMAO THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME TO TAKE MY TIME </3 THERE'S DEFINITELY SO MUCH I NEED TO DO AND TOO LITTLE TIME UEFBIEWIOEGLN

BUT I'M GLAD U HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCES WITH PEOPLE NOT STRUGGLING we did this one horror play (which was SUCH a mess. okay let me just say this. our stage manager full on just gave up like halfway thru and would sit next to me reading vampire books and so same lights kid that kept trying to steal my job decided that it was "UP TO HIM" to save the show HIS WORDS EXACTLY I REMEMBER HEARING ABOUT THIS when literally the entire show was going fine and so basically he was like overthrowing our stage manager and was taking it upon himself to stage manage instead and give cues and just OMG THAT SHOW WAS A MESS BUT ANYWAY) and our main character just would NOT project like she was always cranky the musical we did that year she would just not sing or talk and we were like bro...ur in a musical BUT ANYWAY she wouldn't project we literally ended up hanging a mic and putting a little speaker in the booth so we could hear her bc like it was so important that we heard her lines but we couldn't when we were in a booth behind four windows and a closed door 😭😭

AND HELP YOUR ONLINE STORIES??? I GIGGLED READING ABOUT HIM TEACHING YOU SPANISH AND YOU TEACHING HIM VIET BUT ALSO THE ENTIRE FRIEND GROUP BEING OLDER WHEN YOU WERE A MINOR WAS CRAZY BUT I CAN'T EVEN JUDGE BC THAT WAS ME TOO 😭😭 I FEEL LIKE THAT'S HOW IT ALWAYS IS FOR ME I'M LIKE ALWAYS ONE OF THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE IN A FRIEND GROUP but i cannot imagine what that guy was thinking (i LOVE DISCORD NAMES HOLD ON LET ME GO FIND THE NAME OF MY GUY i think he changed it bc it's froge now...but ANYWAY IT WAS SOMETHING LAME AND SO WAS HIS ROBLOX USER IT WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE DARK KNIGHT IDK) but i cannot imagine the stress socks was going thru </33 i bet he sent that and then u were like "oh let me go translate it!" and then he was like "OMG SHE DIDN'T RESPOND AND SHE WENT OFFLINE SHE HATES ME" and just flipped and said "jk" bc THERE'S NO WAY THAT WAS JUST A JOKE LIKE U DO NOT TEACH PEOPLE CONFESSIONS LIKE DID THE TAMING OF THE SHREW TEACH U PEOPLE NOTHING THAT IS SO OLD SCHOOL!! (i also never proofread these and just go on tangents and for that, i am sorry </3)

BUT I ALSO DON'T LIKE RAW FISH DW AT ALL!! like they have a hawaiian poke bowl too or something with all raw tuna and i'm like...yeah i'm good actually... and so my only other choice is imitation crab unfortunately 😭 BUT I HOPE YOU FIND SOMETHING GOOD AND LIKE IT!!

MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND IT WAS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU <3 I ATE A BAGEL HALFWAY THROUGH THIS AS WELL (you can probably tell when i started eating it bc i was only typing with my left hand and probably didn't use as many crying emojis for a bit LMAO) AND I LOVE TALKING TO YOU!! I LOVE YOU <3 AND I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL!! I LOVE CHICKEN AND RICE AND I WILL MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AS LONG AS YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SHIFT TOMORROW!! <3

[nfnfnfnfndnfkfjfndksjsndnxjsojsn]

the mountains were really fun i am not one for staying with other families other than my own because i have a strict schedule and way to deal with things that im not used to with others. but it was fun i was nervous about max, sammies mean old dog who hates me being in the same car with me but he leaned on me and slept on me most of the time when we got to the site i saw soooo many cows i was going insane happily seeing all the horses and i did my little leg shake thing i was happy. then we set up camp and explored they had this giant blowup pillow and playground there including swings and a great mountain view that i fell in love with as the cows were beside us. we went on the bouncy pillow and we fell in love and these kids tried playing with us which i dont mind i was just happy to be there. we kept laughing at kids being kids. dumb kids. hahahaaha. we had smors and burgers which was alright. i love smors. at night we snuck to the pillow thing and had so much fun jumping on it and feeling like kids again rather than stressed teenagers i was so happy talking about our ocs and friendship as i sat my head on her stomach and talked about how cool we were. the next day we drove to the mountains ( closer ) and took tons of photos they had never been up north ( they made me pick between south or north ) and they seemed to love it with the views i was so happy and i was wearing a cute outfit but i grew tired. as the sun slowly set we all realized we are leaving tomorrow and cant go to the caves/caverns. i was sad but i was getting homesick and sleepy. we went back to the pillow thing while dinner was getting ready i felt so gross and wanted a shower but i was just so tired and hungry. we played on the swings as this boy kept staring at me trying to impress me we just played on swings and the pillow a little before running off to dinner we had meatloaf which ive never had. it was ok. a bit greasy for me. we ran back to the pillow as the fire got ready and played with two kids as me and sammie loved bouncing each other and the kids loved being bounced around it was cute and fun. we ate some smors before going back inside and sleeping the camper. we left the next morning and i dont feel like commenting on the rest im sleepy but something i think about it is the night before the trip i was lying in bed with sammie it was nighttime we were discussing school and people we dont like. we just talked and looked at the ceiling ive never told sammie much other than my parents divorce and my mother is basically missing. but i said everything i talked about my uncles death, how hard having a limp is and how harder it is being a teenage disabled girl in HIGHSCHOOL, family, how its hard to grow up alone etc etc and i tried not crying but i just broke down and looked at her and embraced in her chest and talked about how good of a friend she is and how i dont want anything to hurt her i was crying and trying to stay funny and normal as she happy cried a little and rubbed my back it was sweet i passed out from the tiredness and woke up not remembering it really but she remembered all of it, deja vu anyways i was embarrassed but she talked about how its a 'core' memory now and she loves me. ( also the afternoon and day before she got me a dress and i was still emotional over it ) the mountains were fun i was homesick but i still had fun and didnt feel weighed down by stupid stuff i even have a poster to remember it with. it was a great time. 10/10

[mockingbirdshymn]

headcanons for the adult camp camp characters part 1 nerriston/performance trio because i love them with all of my heart ever

preston ends up working at a local theatre as the primary director there!! the theatre's actors usually consist of high school students and the theatre ends up hosting a lot of larger high school or college plays, and preston has pressured quite a few colleges into doing some of his favorite plays. the happiest hes ever been was when he got to direct a heathers play. he literally came home and shoved the script in harrison and nerris' faces out of excitement.

harrison works as a magician at the same theatre. he did a few shows in other theatres, a few times in vegas. he wants to become a famous magician, (as preston does a famous actor), but likes his life where it is right now and wouldnt want to be moving all of the time for shows. plus, hes terrified of being seen as a freak of some sort of ridiculed. he does bigger shows every so often, dont think he doesnt, but he mainly does shows in his city.

nerris' job is in marketing. she hates it a lot but performance doesnt bring as much money in as theyd like so they have to put in effort. theyre honestly happy with it because while the job itself sucks, she likes seeing harrison and preston be able to do their own crafts.

nerris did not want a dog. preston and harrison found a dog being given away in a walmart parking lot. and thus, nerris woke up to a dog in their home. harrison named him mantacore after the roy and siegfried's tiger yk the one. he is a samoyed. he sleeps on the bed with them.

they dont have kids ever mostly because i really dont like kids im sorry but i feel as though preston would see a child and go "ew" and nerris is the only one with actually good parents so 2/3 of the kids parents would just not know what to do. soooo no kids

nerris binds but never gets top surgery!! this is mostly because some days they dont really get dysphoria, and they still like appearing feminine from time to time (though neutral is definitely their style like 75% of the time). this headcanon is made by me, someone who binds but does not want to get top surgery, half projecting onto nerris

harrison does not drink, preston sometimes does, nerris does. this doesnt rlly have a followup headcanon but i can only imagine harrison's introverted ass staring down at a cup of orange juice while at a party and then driving everyone else home

there are three bookshelves in the living room. you can tell whos is whos because one is filled with percy jackson and narnia and other fantasy books, another has every script to every play in existence ever as well as analysis books of creative theatre, and one has like four magic related books and mostly stores props. not to say harrison doesnt read, but he mostly steals from nerris' shelf when he wants to read.

every summer, the performance trio (along with the other adult campers) hangs out at camp campbell. the camp shut down after the kids all became adults, mostly because nobody wanted to send their kids to a camp known for being a money laundering scheme, housing a known criminal (cameron campbell), overall a big scam, and because the amount of fbi helicopters flying to the camp was enough to drive everyone else away. it was a miracle the campers were allowed to come back there the following summers.

as adults, the campers are all relatively good friends. dolph moved to germany, but he visits whenever he can, and neil is gone a lot doing research projects in different countries, but the campers still live relatively close together and hang out a lot. i cant see a universe where they stop talking after camp

in honor of the camp, and also because yellow grew on them after a while, yellow is still a color most of the campers wear pretty often, except for max, dolph, and space kid.

harrison is still scared of quartermaster. how is he not dead yet. it has been a decade. he looked old when david was a kid. why is he still here. what the fuck was up with that space octopus. what does he know.

i like to think at least once quartermaster showed up at the nerriston house, poked his hook at harrison and said "come with me" and harrison Just Did. he came back a day later looking absolutely disturbed. he probably saw a demon or something, knowing quartermaster.

[uncertain3teeth]

i jus woke up from a whole ass nightmare it was badddd omg i almost wanted to cry it was abt someone breaking into my house and also breaking into my window and also i got almost arrested and also people were chasing me and someone had a seizure and there was also some exorcism going on as well and then i like killed this person by drowning them inside of a small mason jar of expired chicken noodle soup idk now that makes sense but its a dream so jdhfhdjd and then people outside kept blasting music and then the cops came for them and then fast forward to wen wen the mother of the person i killed called mom to talk to meet up and then my mom was giving misinformation to the mother abt her and i lik saying and i quote how she said it in the dream "we are from TEXAS" [ im lik wtf spongebob ] but then we had to put a disguise on so she put on the plague doctor costume and then i remember also in the dream to in order to get out the window bc ppl were chasing me i had to commit a sin which i then said "oh thats easy" and fast forward wen i woke up i then went back to sleep and had ANOTHER nightmare which i was in a mall and ppl including my toxic cousin tried to find and look for me but lik also my friends were there so ppl were following them as well and it was soooo fukkin scary bc in real life i have a major paranoia issue abt either people trying to kill me or me thinking people are plotting against me and it was a lucid dream so it felt so fucking real and also the ppl looking for me were trying to convice me to do something and in order for me to disguise myself i had to put a blanket over my head and twirl lik wtf and i minecraft villager that bounces and twirls on top of a bed but anyways i remember they finded out my disguise and it didnt work so they kept coming after me and i remember these twisty stairts that goes up and thats all i remember from that dream now what i do remember i from the first dream i had i also remember that i was fucking this guy in the bushes i think that was after the part where i was trying to do sins to get out the window but i was already out the window so idek its drean so eh but i also remember that as soon as i fucked this guy in the bushes i got caught by the people trying to find me and then they started to chase me and then there was this big crowd of people that looked like my friends but wasnt and there was also joe biden for some butt fuck reason and then there was cops or guards or some ppl and then they captured me OH WAIT BEFORE THEY CHASED AND CAPTURNED ME I WENT UP TO THE YOUTUBER BENOFTHWEEK LMAOKOA and i told him that i was broke and i needed help bc someone was chasing me and then he saw the ppl that was originally chasing me coming closer and THEEEN thats wen all of a sudden joe biden and ppl that looked lik my friends but wasnt lik robots and then they made me and my other ppl stand next to eachother in a line and then joe biden was doing a speech and he stumbled on his words it was pretty funny bc jschlatt but anyways out of fucking nowhere mike ehrmantraut from breaking fucking bad was one of the guards and he helped me get pass the guards to disguise myself as one of them and then i also ended up killing this one guard by doing that harley quinn suicide squad shit where i got on his shoulders and did some shit i forgot what that shit was but i did some shit and then killed a man but them after that my friends that were robots disappeared aside from some to which i asked "what is something only you wld know abt me" and this one guy pulled out a drawing i made him and said "i was going to give this back to you yesterday bc i cant keep this bc my sister was getting to it" which idk howwww tf that makes sense its lik "oh hey i have a dog so can you put this food on the top of there so they dont get to it" but then the dream started to end and i woke up and sirens were outside LMAOOO

[witchreflection]

I live with my mom, and for a long time i woke up at 5:30 so I could be at the bus stop at 6:30 and be at work at 7, until this day my mom wakes up at 7 because she drives to work and her shift starts at 8.

Except on tuesdays, because that's the day they pick up the trash, that day she wakes up at 6:30 so i wont be late for work for taking out the trash alone (it cant be left outside for too long because of street dogs, so it has to be done in the morning).

Now, my dog Tenshi, my beloved, sleeps in my room and he sleeps until 7 (i have to do my morning routine stepping around him), when he gets up, goes to my mom's room and wakes her up... Except on tuesdays! Somehow he always remembers we have to take out the trash on tuesday and goes to wake up my mom at 6:30.

So, if im not in the morning shift and i want to sleep in, i cant, because Tenshi will wake me up at 7 (or 6:30 on tuesdays) so i can open the door of my room, so he can go wake up my mom.

The thing is that once he is sure both humans are up, he goes back to sleep.

[phantalgia]

10/23/24 - Becoming and A Dream To Be A Cute Gay Twink Couple

So much fear...isolation, loneliness. My health has torn me apart tonight. I went to sleep on a full stomach. I noticed I was having micro panic attack as I tried to fall asleep. When I did, I woke up. Sick as a dog. Nauseous, weak, feverish, heart palpitations, shaky.

I didn't think I was going to get out of bed. But i did. That actually helped oddly enough. Moving around and pacing. It wasn't perfect. I took extra heart meds and breathed into a bag. Those 3 things all helped. Right now it's still lingering.

I don’t want to get too into it because of how nervous it makes me. But my LVNC MRI I had came back normal, with just a passing about my trabeculations. I’m hoping that means nothing has changed since my last MRI. My doctor is certain I'll live a long healthy life and the worst case scenerio is I would have an ablation. Things should be fine...I got a follow up with my doctor. Maybe he has encouragement. Then it's the doctor who ordered the MRI. Who tends to not be so optimisitic.

I hate this. Long COVID, dysautonomia, respritory alkalosis, anxiety, post-surgery issues, whatever it is. I need to live a life. And living a life has to do with people. I want the people I want in my life. That's what this person I’m trying to reconnect with symbolizes.

Perhaps it's just twink to twink communication but it's hard to let go. I know I have to regardless if things happen or not. I know I can be proud of myself for growing from this experience regardless. Recognizing what is important to me. And that's cute twinks/enbys to be gay with. And who aren't raving bigots too...yes for some reason there's a lot of them.

I guess that's a fantasy for me now. Just someone cute, where we can just be two cute twinks. I'd love that. I only ever did like twinks/enbys because of their USUALLY sweetness, and sensitivities. I don’t want these fake stoic social darwinist ones. Pick flowers for once please...

But this won’t happen while I’m locked away like this. I gotta do something. Whether it's broading my search out. Or what. I don’t know what to do. It's much harder when you’re sick like I am and just bombarded by guilt, holding onto the past, and somatic based anxiety 24/7.

What if I accepted that maybe I won’t get the dream that I want? No holding each other under a tree, no walks together, no cuddling. What if I just die young and alone? It's grim, extreme. But I want to calm that fear down. Perhaps this just wasn't my life. Is that ok? It wasn't a useless life. I learned a lot. I did my best. I guess I’m just trying to accept that I might die young and alone to calm it, FOR NOW.

This may not be the truth. I may find someone one day. Perhaps things will be rekindled. I just know I cant keep holding onto the past. The two can go together. I should hold onto the people I do have. Even if it's not ideal, and be open to the new people, they could be just as good. It's going to take time. I know that I can at least stop the searching for this person and let it go.

Nothing is overnight, I’m in pain. Emotionally and physically. Maybe it won’t always be like this. Things will change over time. Time is a good asset. Perhaps events will happen that will push me towards urgency. Whether extreme or not so extreme.

I’m not giving up, but I’m leaving room for the worst case scenerio since it won’t go away.