#my dog thinks other dogs aren't allowed to wear clothes

[fayesia]

Day 4 - dubcon

"Snake" - Sirius x slytherin!reader

ִֶָ𓂃˖ ִֶָ✰࿐ warnings - rough sex, dirty talk, thigh riding, breeding kink, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie, no aftercare, petnames "bunny"

ִֶָ𓂃˖ ִֶָ✰࿐ wc - 1.1k

Everyone knew that you, a Malfoy, loathed the filthy blood traitor Sirius Black.

But no one knew the way he had his mouth and hands all over you in this small cramped broom closet, hidden in the winding hallways of forever changing directions by the moving staircases.

"Wait-Black stop-hmph"

You were shut up by the force of Sirius' hands pulling you chest to chest with him, one of his hands winding up your back to yank a fistful of your hair. Whining out your hand came forward to slap at his chest, but he dismissed your movements quickly with his other hand.

"Stop fucking fighting, little slut acting like she doesn't want this after practically begging for it with these clothes."

You thought the denim mini skirt was cute. It was never something your pureblood parents would allow you to wear at home, and it perfectly matched with your soft pink lace adorned singlet that read babygirl. Sirius seemed to disagree, as the mere sight of you in Hogsmeade had him using the table to cover his crotch. A rather large bulge under his jeans forming, similar to the one he had right now with the close proximity between the two of you.

His mouth canvased across the expanse of your jawline and neck, his teeth scraping against your skin, drawing out near sinful moans from you. Moving his hands beneath your top, he caressed the small of your back up to the middle of your spine, a whimper almost drawn out of you. Sirius' head bent down until your noses were almost touching, his eyes focused on your own, and you couldn't bear to look away. As he knee slid between your thighs, your denim skirt easily rode up your waist.

"Do you really want me to stop babydoll?"

"No"

You answered almost simultaneously with the movement of your hips, the contact of your pussy against the rough material of his jeans through your panties had you wet. Smirking against your jugular, you heard a huff of amusement come from Sirius' mouth.

"Don't think this fucking means anything Black"

"Oh no of course not I would never think anything of the way your cunt is soaking my jeans as you hump my thigh like a fucking dog in heat"

Blushing ferociously you grumbled at Sirius to shut up, continuing to ride his thigh you had finally found the perfect angle to rub your clit. The coil inside you tightening as you softly moaned out, a noise Sirius took immense pleasure from, his hard cock almost painfully yearning to be free from his jeans. Right as you neared your high, you dug your nails into Sirius' shoulders, digging harder when he removed his thigh from your thighs before you could even come.

"What the fuck- no that's it. If you can't fucking get me off I'll just find someone else to do it. I'm sure your brother Regulus can make me feel a lot better than your needle sized dick."

Finishing your rant you looked up at Sirius' face.

Fuck.

You made a mistake.

That rant ended up with you being bent over, panties pulled to the side, as Sirius had one hand pulling a fist of hair and another pushing your back into a deep arch. His cock was also deep. Pounding brutally inside of you as you whined at him to wait. Hands scrambling to push him away as well as grip onto a nearby shelf for balance. The stretch was painful which your face showed but Sirus didn't notice, or rather, he didn't fucking care, it was one way to prove you wrong about your "needle sized dick" comment. Something he didn't appreciate at all.

"You think anyone can fuck you like this. Only I make you a slut. Fucking whore for this cock aren't you"

You couldn't even get the words out, the start of one was quickly finished with various gasps and moans uncontrollably coming from your mouth.

"You wanted this though didn't you. Riled me up and put this whole show on so I would fuck you like a proper bitch"

"N-ugh-no no-didn't fuck ah"

"N-n-n dick made you so dumb you can't even fucking speak can you"

Sirius mocked you, and shamefully, you tightened around his thick length at his words, your noises only increasing alongside the ferocity of his movement and foul words. He roughly pulled you away from the shelves, turning you so that you were facing him before swiftly entering you again. Your pussy had gotten used to the stretch but the sheer length of him penetrating you from a different and deeper anger made your limbs weak. Enough so that Sirius was able to lift your top, continuing to thrust inside of you, and grope your breast. The supple flesh was ravaged by his long nimble fingers which found themselves busy with your nipples, tweaking the soft buds until the hardened.

"Fuckin' stupid babygirl huh, is that what you liked to be called when you bend over for every snake"

Your head moved side to side, Sirius had rendered you speechless suffice for the quiet noises still coming from you.

"Bet you're a cumslut for them too, you let them fill you up, let them breed you with their little pureblood devils"

"Ngh-no-never let them.."

"Fuck. But you'll let me yeah. Cause you want me to. Fill you and use you like the cumslut you are, turn you into my favourite breeding bunny. You want that don't you babygirl?"

Sirius' thrust were more furious as he ranted about cumming in you. Your back was growing sore from rubbing against the worn out wood as well as your neck which was forced to bend at an angle where you could see sirius' cock enter in and out of you. His dick was rubbing against that perfect spot in you as you furthered tightened around him almost cutting off the circulation to his cock. The noises he let out were now almost anamilistic, sounding like an angry canine marking its territory. Which is exactly what he was going to do.

"Gonna cum inside yeah, pump you full of my blood traitor babies."

"Sririus wait-"

But it was too late. His head had already dropped back to face the ceiling, and he was groaning out without a care as to who could hear him. Warm thick liquid was coating your inner walls, which you could barely react to from the body shattering climax you were experiencing. Left shaking in Sirius' arms from the feeling of your liquid mixed together dripping out of you as he pulled his now limp dick out.

"Look at you now fucked stupid. And you think my brother could've fucking done that, god you're pathetic."

His eyes glared at you as he used his wand to fix himself to look presentable before leaving the closet and closing the door behind him with a harsh slam. You were left leaning against the wall with your top flipped up and you skirt bunched around you waist, Sirius' cum still leaking out of you.

No, his brother would never do this.

Kinktober Masterlist

[seokmattchuus]

Na Kamden as a dom

Prefacing this by saying I am very delusional.

This is in no way accurate by any means bc all I've seen from other content is the opposite of this.

I wrote this for the sake of my sanity.

But moving on.

Somewhere in the middle of hard dom and soft dom but if you push enough, you get a brat tamer.

No, I will not elaborate because I don't even know what that means.

It just makes sense, y'know?

Like,

He's nice until he's not?

But when he's not nice anymore, he will fuck you up?

Definitely might take him some time to get there, but you can't tell me he wouldn't make the best brat tamer.

Like,

On the regular, he's not too strict but he's also not the most lenient.

Mostly because he uses his height to his advantage.

He doesn't need to you the voice because all he has to do is take a little step towards you and look down at you and boom, a natural brat-be-gone.

Can't blame you, though.

If he stepped towards me after being a brat, my five-foot-one-and-a-half ass (the half counts, okay) would cower like the chihuahua that I am (got that dog in me, y'know).

Like.

My hypothetical timbers shiver at the thought (in a good way).

But brat tamer Kamden?

:3

He likes to use pet play as a funishment.

Because he's still trying to give you a chance to make it up to him.

And he's also not trying to ruin you completely.

Just a little bit.

The degradation of having the full kitty get up is enough to humble you so you're not pushing it.

Ears, collar, tail, no clothes.

Because kitties don't wear clothes.

He uses the leash to keep you in place.

Or keep you from looking away.

He'll pull you up to be right in front of his face and hold you there.

He's a lover of forced eye contact so he can watch you struggle not to close your eyes.

Which leads to my next point:

If he is trying to ruin you completely, the tail might be a plug.

That vibrates.

Ororor

Maybe cuffs you to a cage and refuses to touch you.

Maybe uses a fuck machine instead. Because you obviously aren't going to listen. Why would he even try?

And he'll be mean about it.

"Awe, does someone want me to let them out?"

"If I let you out, don't think I'm going to make you cum."

"You get the machine, or nothing at all."

Or you're only allowed out if you're going to get yourself off.

Bc he's not about to reward you.

"You didn't want to listen, so you obviously don't need me."

"Show me how much you need it, and I might touch you."

I will not expand on this for my own sanity because I'm not trying to give myself thots. It's almost 4am.

Moving back to regular dom Kamden.

He loves reminding you how small you are compared to him.

All the time.

Holding hands and talking about how small yours are in his.

When you're sitting on his lap and he just towers over you.

Or his hands on your thighs.

Or when he has both your wrists in one hand.

Or when he's holding your wrist and his hand is just. So big.

He loves to verbally remind you, too.

Usually cooing at you.

Gives caregiver vibe lowkey, but he also just seems like the type to baby you anyways.

"My little baby."

"Look at how cute you are." (usually while pinching your cheek)

When he's feeling generous and wants to see you correct your own behavior, he likes keeping track of how much you're misbehaving.

I'm talking using a clicker all day.

And the final number could be anything, really.

How many times he's going to deny/keep you cumming.

How many spanks you'll get.

How many minutes he'll go without touching you (he might multiply it by two just for funsies)

Or how long he'll go on teasing you.

If he's feeling not-so-generous.

He's using the three-strike method and announcing them very loudly.

Does not care if you're around others.

Nope.

Counting down from three while walking towards you.

Or giving you silent signals to check you.

Bc he knows you're looking at him after messing up.

But he loves the attention.

And loves that you're doing it for his attention.

Wouldn't have it any other way, truly.

He also likes to threaten you with what he's going to do to you once you're both alone.

Just to rile you up some more.

But his aftercare game?

Unmatched.

He's gonna let you both nap before he washes you up.

Let's you relax in the bath after cleaning you so he can work on some food or snacks. Whichever you're in the mood for.

But you do get a big glass of ice cold water.

With a bendy straw :)

He gives you his softest hoodie to wrap yourself in while you both cuddle and watch tv.

Wraps his big ol' arms around you and holds you close while feeding you and maybe the occasional forehead kiss.

And asking if you're okay.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Nothing hurts, right?"

"My baby eats so well."

"Let me know if you need anything."

He's completely different from before. Total 180.

Big ol' softie.

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 05 -> CH 06

"Didn't you say you had already befriended your neighbors daughter?" "I'd hardly call us friends. She doesn't know I'm crazy yet."

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr @thatsthewrongwallcraig @icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06 @shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl

"How is your sleep? Is it leveling out or are you still experiencing fatigue?" Jack stretched out in front of the computer screen and yawned.

"It's still weird. Some days I'm too exhausted to function. Other days I work my ass off to clear out the house but when I finally lay down, I just can't shut my mind off." Jack explained.

"What goes through your mind when you find yourself unable to sleep?" Jack rolled his eyes.

"Everything...nothing at all...I think about what I might do the next day or working on the book but then I'm too exhausted to even sit in the chair." Jack was growing annoyed with how his meds made him like a zombie. His brain was far too developed to not be able to use it during the day time.

"How about your appetite? Are you eating regularly?" Jack hated having to explain that he was miserable because his body required these meds to stay sane.

"Not as often as I should. Most of that is because I haven't done the grocery shopping yet. I have to put in an order." Jack listened to the hum come from the doctor.

"Have you thought about maybe going to the grocery store? Getting out among the people just to explore." Jack laughed.

"Yeah I'm not sure I have the energy for that. Maybe if I go late at night but I don't want to mingle just yet." Jack couldn't imagine having to walk through the grocery store having people stare at him or offer condolences that are empty and way too late. He wouldn't mind running into Y/n but that's a different story.

"Didn't you say you had already befriended your neighbors daughter?" Dr. Carty questioned making notes.

"I'd hardly call us friends. She doesn't know I'm crazy yet." Jack explained with a self deprecating laugh.

"You aren't crazy Jack. People live completely normal lives with mental illness. It's like any other illness and you are taking the steps towards a bit more normalcy." Dr. Carty had been with Jack since he checked into the facility. He felt like Jack absolutely needed to be hospitalized for the time he was in order to not only get to the root of his trauma but to allow his brain time to come to terms with it. He recognized all the progress he's made and wanted him to feel proud of that.

"Well how does it feel to interact with someone your own age who isn't a doctor?" Jack shrugged.

"She's fine. I mean we have a really cohesive sense of humor. I think if we did hang out, it wouldn't be awful but I'm pretty sure she's a nurse or something. She wears scrubs whenever she's not in regular clothes and when she's in regular clothes she's usually care-giving for her mom." Dr. Carty laughed making Jack tilt his head.

"You like her." He said confidently.

"What? No! We've had two conversations. That's hardly enough time to develop a liking to anyone." Jack defended.

"Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?" Now Jack knew the doc was fucking with him.

"Yeah, thankfully I live in the real world. Plus everyone knows it's more like lust at first sight. No one can fall in love just seeing someone. That's based entirely on physical attraction." Jack was more of a pessimist when it came to love and attraction. Plenty of people could be attractive but love is few and far between. Jack can count on one hand how many people he's genuinely loved in his entire life.

"Well is she attractive?" Dr. Carty pressed.

"She's conventionally attractive, yes. I mean she hasn't cured my lack of sex drive but again, we've only spoken twice. I don't think I could fuck even if I wanted to." Jack had known the Doc for long enough that his random bouts of vulgarity didn't make him flinch.

"So you have decent conversation with a pretty woman who can match your intellect and has a dog you enjoy spending time with...She doesn't sound like an awful friend to make. Maybe you should work on that." Jack pushed away from the computer and ran his hands down his face.

"Why? I don't want to ruin anyone else's life. She's clearly a much better person than I am and she's already agreed to let me take the dog for walks on occasion so why risk ruining that with her getting to know me?" Jack genuinely feared letting anyone close at this point. Shanda had been with him since day one and the only person who has gotten a pass is the Doc and that wasn't something Jack asked for but has gotten used to.

"She's not Cleo, Jack." The mention of Cleo knocked the wind out of his chest.

"I know that." Jack whispered timidly before standing from his chair to move to the window.

"Just because you never received closure from her doesn't mean you can't move forward. You have done your part in taking accountability. We knew going into that you might not received the absolution of forgiveness." Dr. Carty himself had reached out to Cleo and was told she didn't care if Jack had dropped dead, she refused to talk to him after having their child cremated alone. Jack had sent a twenty page letter without any sort of response and when he sent a follow up, it was returned to sender.

The few times he dared to check social media, she had erased him from her entire existence. She had a memorial post for the baby but she didn't use his last name. When he accidentally liked one of her posts, he was met with a block on all outlets. Shanda had assured him that she had moved on and was doing better but he held onto that guilt for abandoning her after such a sudden miscarriage.

"What are you thinking Jack?" Doc's voice broke through his thoughts as he stood at the window. He could see Y/n down in her mother's garden watering the flowers and talking to her mom who was sitting in a wheelchair on the porch with Ace in her lap. He didn't need to know Y/n well to see she was a good person.

"The best thing she could do is to stay away from me. I'm just...I don't deserve that again. I wasted it the first time and ruined someone's life. What would I even do if I allowed myself to find that with someone else after Cleo? How do I explain to someone what I did to someone I loved enough to want to marry and start a family with?" Jack's ranting started to make his chest hurt.

"Jack, I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath." Jack became annoyed but did as he was told counting in his head as he took a few deep breaths.

"You need to remember that we are not our mistakes. We all have flaws and blemishes but it's how we right our wrongs that define us. You are not a bad person." Jack opened his eyes feeling a slight burn from squeezing them so tightly. Jack let out a breath before digging in his pocket for a lighter, picking up a cigarette and opening the window abruptly. The daylight made it hard for his eyes to adjust at first but he didn't realize the sound of the window would draw any attention towards him. He was met with Y/n's gaze as he took a deep drag of his cigarette.

"You have to forgive yourself Jack. If you don't let go of that weight, it will drown you." Jack kept his eyes on Y/n as she smiled at him and waved. Jack returned a weak smile, biting his lip.

"I want to...I really do but I just don't think I can." Jack admitted out loud glancing over at the screen to see Dr. Carty was frowning. He hated ending his sessions on a such a negative feeling but he knew he was out of time today. He knew that Doc didn't want to leave him alone with these thoughts so he gave him self work to do over the weekend so it would keep him occupied. Self work always made him roll his eyes because he could knock assignments out easily but whenever he sat down to work on his writing, his mind would be blank. All he wanted to do was figure out how to feel normal again.

[deathcapyandex]

Known Only By Alias - p2

[known only by Alias part two]

Part one(link)

Sind Dufaux, Codename Sparrow, assigned to assist a fellow Westalis agent with his mission, Operation Strix, on top of completing their own.

Of course the name Sind Dufaux is just an alias, as Loid Forger is for twilight, any real names are highly classified information about any WISE operative.

This evening, Sind was tasked with joining Loid and his 'family' for dinner, as a small sort of welcome party for Sind being the forger family's new neighbor.

Sind however...was currently fussing over their outfit. It was just a dinner so you weren't expected to dress too nicely, but they couldn't help feeling the need to dress well for twilight, something casual would be way too...well casual! It's not exactly a formal thing but casual civilian wear just wouldn't do.

Plus, they're having dinner with THE Twilight, one of Westalis' best spies. How could anyone think of underdressing for that?

Though, there is the reminder poking about in their mind that they aren't just dining with twilight but the whole fake forger family, the little girl and that woman Yor who somehow agreed to a false marriage on such short notice.

It might be best to just wear something simple after all... But...there's is the problem of sparrows wardrobe mostly consisting of less gender affirming clothes and more so...disguises.

Maybe pairing a blazer with a nice blouse, mix up the clothing to suit their more androgynous style. That seems better.

After mulling it over for a few minutes more, they finally settled on something they felt comfortable in, it was already half past 6pm and if they stalled any longer they'd be late for sure. They wouldn't dare be late on twilights clock.

After a couple knocks on the door, Sind was greeted by Yor's bright smile. "Mx. Dufaux! You're right on time, please, come right in" she spoke, stepping aside to allow the other entry into the apartment.

"thank you for having me, mrs. Forger" Sind found themselves forcing a smile for the woman.

"oh please, just call me Yor! And your outfit is adorable!" The woman complimented them, cheery attitude never faltering. It was as if she was already treating Sind like one of her lady friends.

"oh, thank you, please call me Sind too then." They nodded, accepting the compliment and returning the more casual behavior.

They felt a small nudge to their leg and noticed a big white dog start to sniff around them, seemingly getting used to the new person.

"that's Bond!! Do you like him? I bet you do! He's the coolest doggy in the whole world!" Anya exclaimed, excitedly bouncing from one foot to the other.

"he's very well mannered, he's black paws are cute and so is the bow" Sind chuckled, giving bond a pat on the head.

Anya seems very happy to hear their opinion and let out a cheer. Kids have so much energy sometimes it was pretty adorable, at least when it wasn't annoying. How did twilight manage around a little ball of energy all the time, surely he'd get exhausted...no he's twilight he has it figured out, kids are easily distracted.

Anya suddenly stopped and stared for a minute before piping up again. "Papa made dinner! He makes the best food! You can sit next to me!"

"I thought that was my spot, Anya" Yor chuckled.

"just for now, mama!" Anya almost sounded like she was consoling her mother.

Take yors spot at the table? That sounded perfect. Oh but that meant Yor would be closer to loid, maybe they should sit next to him-

"hey Anya, why don't you finish setting the table for us while your mother makes some tea for all of us, alright?" Loid spoke up, stepping out of the kitchen.

Was it the lighting? His choice of clothing? Or was he always this naturally stunning? Even in a simple sweater overtop a collared button up he still looked...no they're getting ahead of themself.

"good evening Sind, you look nice" He greeted as yor entered the kitchen and anya headed to the dining table like she was on a mission herself.

"thank you. And thank you for inviting me over, it was really nice if you." They smiled warmly at him, speaking smoothly despite the rush of butterflies his polite smile was able to cause.

Take it easy sparrow, keep it professional.

"it's no problem, just wanted to help you feel welcome in the new place like a good neighbor." He replied simply.

"still that's very kind of you." Sind insisted.

Loid's expression seemed to subtly shift, a hint his next words were actually spy related. His tone of voice stayed soft and casual but his eyes were serious and sharp.

"say, what do you do, if that's alright for me to ask." He was really looking for information on 'sind's life' that sparrow was assigned to follow. Better to keep the story straight on both their ends that way if they knew the character their coworker was playing.

"I'm actually a telephone operator." They gave a slight tilt of their head as they expressed curiousity. "And yourself?"

"ah, I bet you hear quite the bit of gossip with a job like that" he seemed to joke "as for myself, im a psychiatrist."

"well, I bet you hear quite your fair share of stories with a job like that too" they joked back.

"indeed." He nodded with a slight chuckle, seeming to relax out of spy mode.

"loid, the tables ready" Yor called, setting down a teapot near the center of the table.

"here, let me get your chair for you" loid offered, pulling out the chair next to Anya for Sind to sit down.

"thank you" they nodded, taking a seat at the table.

The rest of the evening seemed fine without a hitch. Anya almost seemed awestruck, glancing between loid and Sind with a grin like she was watching the coolest thing play out in front of her since a new season of her favorite show. That was about the only odd thing really. It was probably just her being the energetic kid she was.

Anya fell asleep in the living room on top of bond after dinner, Yor taking her to bed and giving loid and Sind a chance to talk freely, though quietly and only briefly.

"I hope assisting me as my neighbor won't be any of a hindrance on your mission." He whispered.

"not at all, your mission is just as important and must go well, don't worry about mine." They responded in a soft spoken tone before Yor returned.

Twilight was so considerate, he actually was concerned about sparrows mission?

"poor thing got tuckered out all on her own. I have no idea how she manages to have all that energy in such a little body" Yor giggled when she returned.

"she certainly is adorable" Sind added. "It is a little late in the evening now, though, I should go." They stood up and gave a polite nod "it was wondering spending the evening with you all, thank you so much for having me over."

"you're very welcome" loid nodded.

Yor lead Sind to the door as they left. As she closed the door though, Yor could almost swear she saw them glare at her from the corner of their eye. It must have been a trick if the light or something

Thank you for reading

[pplatonic]

Baby's First Pride

I'm 16 and a half years old. I came out to my parents inspired by a story at my school's GSA - just walk up the stairs and call it out. I was terrified, but they were accepting, and I learnt that my brother has trans friends and that Mom even experimented with girls when she was a teen. It's 5:10 PM, so it's probably time to go to the pride event Mom has been talking about all week. She said her boss told her about it, and that it's all ages. I get dressed in my Hatsune Miku cosplay, drape my Aromantic pride flag around my shoulders, and tie the ends in a reef knot around my neck to wear it as a cape.

I go downstairs, putting my Miku wallet in my bag, and take a short video of me twirling around to send it to my friends captioned 'ARO MIKU IS GOING TO PRIDE.' When I get outside, my parents and Mom's friend coo at my outfit, saying I look nice. They say goodbye to Mom's friend and they get ready, and they stop at Walmart to buy 'pride gear' to try and match my look. They get me pins, because they know I love pins.

I listen to my playlist of Magical Mirai albums as Dad drives us to the pride event. He does an illegal U-turn, and I tell him cops aren't allowed at pride, so we're okay. We park.

When we get there, the first thing we notice is all the food trucks. We ate before we came here, because they didn't think there'd be food. The first thing we do is Mom and Dad get alcoholic canned drinks, and they later buy me a cold vanilla latte at a different booth. We start walking around.

Mom's more interested in the concert being held by a queer artist who's name I didn't catch, and she jokes about us going to mosh there. I tell her it's dangerous and that I'm wearing my binder right now, and my dad comments that he didn't even notice.

While we're standing and waiting around, Dad perplexedly exclaims that there's a bar. I tell him as a joke that of course there's a bar, this is pride. He doesn't get it, so I explain the history of gay bars and the Mafia and all of that, and tell him the original pride parade was a protest where parking meters were uprooted and bricks were thrown at cops.

We start walking around to the several booths of queer creatives selling their art, and my eyes are battling between scouting for pins and looking at all the kinds of people here. It's truly all ages, from seniors to toddlers. I see as many visibly disabled and plus-size people as I do visibly abled and skinny people. When we first started walking in to the event, we saw a person in a cutesy lolita-styled outfit with cat ears and tail in the trans colours, in front of someone embracing their trans flag.

As I look around, I see various flags: bi, pan, lesbian, trans, nonbinary, genderfluid. On a couple people's shirts I see the ace flag. But as far as I'm aware, I'm the only person here in this entire crowd wearing the Aromantic flag. It's bittersweet, to be the sole representation of your people.

I see people in all styles of clothing as well: goth, punk, alternative, grunge, trendy, cute, casual, retro. I see some people standing out in absolutely fabulous outfits with sequins everywhere. I see a dog in a gay-coloured tutu, and a person with pride-coloured butterfly wings on their arms. Half the people here have dyed hair of some kind.

We sit down and take a break. It's near the mini waterpark nearby, which makes it fresh and cool-feeling and perfect for a break. A child with endless joys in their heart ends up spraying us with water, and we get a move on. I go around to multiple booths and buy an assortment of pins, one that says "I'M SO GAY I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT" and one with a fuzzy Aro-coloured animal on it.

When we sit for a final break, I find two dirty books on the ground as Mom hands me a progress flag pin she found. I pick up the books. One is a 'queer history tour' of Edmonton brochure that has multiple locations of down-town and their associated queer histories. The other book is a mental wellness book targeted mainly at Indigenous folk, but I decide to take it any way since a lot of it advice applies to everyone. I show my Mom the page on ableist language, that talks about replacing words like 'crazy,' 'insane,' and 'psycho' with words like 'wild,' 'bananas,' and 'ridiculous.'

When we start walking back to the car, we see a group of four dressed ridiculously. One of them has massive, bouncing balloon tits, and they stand out the most. I'm afraid of what my parent's reaction will be, and this is what I told them to be nice about before we came, because pride was and still is a protest. They laugh and move on. I'm a little surprised that they're so cool with it.

We stop by the truck at the very start of the walk as Mom comments on it. It's a kink gear store. I stare in awe at the bear pride flag and leather puppy pride flag, telling my family about them. I have to ask one of them to confirm it's the leather puppy flag because I'm not wholly sure, and the people running the truck smile as they teach me about it.

We drive home, and as we walk back to the house, I think about Mom and Dad's reaction to the person with the balloon tits. I think about how they laughed kindly at one of the biggest displays of societal norm defiance I've ever seen. And then I think about the openly disabled people I saw with their pretty canes and wheelchairs, I think about the punks with fishnets and leather jackets and high boots, I think about the emo kandi kids with their black-and-rainbow stockings and vibrant kandi cuffs, I think about the booth run by African black people that stood for trans black liberation, I think about the truck run by kinksters decorated with historical flags, I think about the two feminine-presenting people I saw kissing and the transmasculine gay couple I saw holding hands.

I think about all of us, the societal outcasts that we are, proudly displaying what outcasted us in the first place, without a single person yelling that we're faggots, or trannies, or cripples, or fatasses, or freaks.

And for the first time in a long time, in all my childhood where I was ostracized from the girls for being too tomboyish from the boys for being born a girl, so badly until I started ostracizing myself, I know that I'm safe and welcome, somewhere in the world.

[oldguy56-world]

Mysterious Ways

"Life is a Mystery..." Yep. That is me quoting Madonna (circa 1989) in a blog named after a U2 song. Not sure if that is blasphemous or just showing my eclectic knowledge of music.

There are a lot of things in this world that I just do not understand, and probably never will. I am not talking about UFO's, Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster here. I am talking about things that we encounter each day and take for granted, never questioning why or how. Follow me on this journey and 'Like a Prayer I will take you there.' (See how I wrapped up that intro. Some heavy thinking on my part.)

The city worker ratio of people standing around vs. people actually working. I am not sure if it depends on how many are standing in a hole (this attracts a lot of standers), if it matters when a foreman is there (they seem to attract a standing crowd who all point at the guy(s) in the hole), or the number of breaks they take. Seems like they follow the Hobbit traditions by having things like a second breakfast. In any case I would love to see their work manual.

How is it possible that technology is making people more stupid? We are an advanced society and yet Math and English skills are rapidly disappearing. Maybe AI will help turn this around. (Ha!)

Where do lost socks go? Didn't leave them in the washer. They are not in the dryer. Perhaps the motion of the laundry in one or the other opens up a wormhole. Somewhere in another galaxy all the homeless aliens have lots of mismatched socks to wear.

How come when you take something out of a package and expose it to air it gets bigger? If you do not believe this is happening try putting something back into a pkg. once you have removed it. Never fits unless you remove part of it. This is the reason companies say that in order to return an item it must be in the original package. They know what they are doing.

It is well known that women are much smarter than men (completely unsolicited observation. My wife is in the next room) yet they are the ones always wearing uncomfortable shoes and clothes. We (men) don't care about anything except is it comfortable.

How come squirrels can be upside down on a tree trunk and never get a head rush. I would last 27 seconds before all the blood rushed to my head and I passed out, falling with a loud thump to the ground scaring all the forest critters. Maybe a steady diet of nuts has something to do with this. (I am talking about them not me)

How hard was it to be around a baby before the invention of diapers? Perhaps that's why adults didn't bathe in the old days. This allowed the smell of the baby to blend in so we would keep them.

We are made up mainly by water. Water is clear (well most of it is these days) so why aren't we clear? It would certainly help politicians with transparency. (so sorry about that one). On second thought it is a good thing we cannot see what is going on inside especially after a chili eating contest.

Monkeys evolved into people who can talk, so why haven't dogs? They spend enough time around us to learn the basics, and have had 100,000 years to learn. Perhaps they realize just how good they have it now. If they could talk we would put them to work and who wants that when you can be fed, housed, and someone follow you to pick up your poop all FREE OF CHARGE! I know what I would choose.

There are many more mysteries but I am getting tired. Plus it is almost time to start my Christmas baking. Only 1 month left you know.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Everything is a mystery until you learn the secret behind it.

[dakotakazansky]

Ghost • Eight

Previous | Master List | Next

Warnings: 18+, Fluff, Angst, lots of Dumb Bitch Juice, Some Smut

Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OC & Javy ‘Coyote’ Machado x OC

Word Count: 1,341

Kota

Jake and I sat quietly in his truck when he pulled up to the barracks. I was still frozen in thought about this deployment and I think it was finally hitting him as well. We are both really exceptional pilots and know we would have no trouble with this mission, myself flying ice cold, and him just as cocky and confident as ever. 

"What do you think about Coyote and Villain starting to spend so much time together?" I ask, trying to break the silence and to finally push us both past these thoughts that would become reality soon enough.

"Honestly, I've only seen that look that Coyote has been wearing, whenever she's around, once before on someone else. I think they could be good for each other." Jake replies back to me.

"I think before we leave for the carrier Tuesday, they'll be together." He looks at me, "Do you really think so?" I nod back to him, "I do and I'm willing to bet on it too." He chuckles, "Twenty dollars says they aren't together." I stick my hand out to him, "And Twenty dollars says they absolutely are together." We shook hands agreeing to this bet. 

"So what are we doing tonight Kota?" Jake asks, trying to find out if he should grab a change of clothes to go out, or if we should get comfortable to stay in. "Well what are you feeling like doing?" I ask since not only do we have tonight but we have all of tomorrow to do things too, before we meet up Sunday with Coyote and Villain again for drinks at the Wrecking Bar.

He wears a confused look on his face, as he was not expecting that response from me, "Uhh well, hmm..." he states. I chuckled at how easy it was to trip him up like this, "Well if you really can't think of anything I might have an idea." I say waiting to see if he can come up with anything, to which nothing arises. 

"Well Jake, since it's my idea, I'm now making it a surprise!" I say excitedly before continuing, "Wear something comfortable for not being indoors." I run off to my room, but peek my head out of the door, "Oh and since it's now a surprise, I'm driving so put on something that prepares you for my bike! Dress for the slide!"

I pop my head back into my room, and begin to change out of my clothes that are under my flight suit and into my comfortable clothes. I picked out a pair of black ripped skinny jeans, my black Sk8-Hi Vans, a black t-shirt, and one of Jake's Dallas Cowboys hoodie I stole from him back when we were in the Academy. 

I came back out of my room, and into the living room, where Jake was sitting on the couch, waiting for me. "So that's where that hoodie went! I knew I wasn't losing my mind!" I chuckled, and took in his appearance.

Jake was in a pair of dark washed jeans, also a black t-shirt, a blue flannel, and his black Stetson cowboy hat. "Oh no Jake, you definitely will not be needing this!" I say plucking the hat off his head, and started to attempt to plop it down on my head.

"Woah woah woah!" Jake shot up off the couch, removing the hat from my hands, "Hey now, you don't just go taking someone's cowboy hat Kota." I gave him the sad puppy dog eyes, hoping he'd let me put it on. "As cute as it would be, nuh-uh, you put those puppy dog eyes away missy."

I attempt to snatch his hat away once more, but he's caught on to me, and keeps it out of my reach. We both laugh with each other, Jake goes and puts his hat away, and I grab the spare bike helmet for him. 

"Ready to go?" I ask once he returns from putting his hat away. "Sure am and since you're driving, if there is anything to pay for, it's on me." he responds as we make our way out to my bike. I handed him the spare motorcycle helmet, as I put mine on, checking the bluetooth to make sure it was connected.

Once he had the spare helmet on, I made sure the bluetooth to his helmet was connected as well, this would allow him to communicate without having to scream over the wind, and would also allow him to listen to my music. I climbed onto my bike starting it, and I felt him climb on behind me.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I was so happy my helmet covered my whole face, because I was blushing as bright red as a tomato from his touch. I ask once more, "Ready to go?" he replies, "Yes, I'm ready."

We begin to take off, and I start driving around Lemoore. I knew where I was taking him, and didn't want him to catch on just yet where our first stop was going to be, so I attempted to confuse him, by just driving around aimlessly for about 10 minutes.

Once I felt he was good and confused about where we were actually going I drove over to the side of town where all the food trucks were parked, they happened to be super close to one of my favorite hidden lookout points. We grabbed some tacos to go from an authentic Mexican taco truck, and then we drove over to my lookout spot.

I parked the bike, waited for him to get off, then got off myself. Without thinking about it I grabbed his hand, "Come on, follow me!" and I led us to the secluded location, where there were a few picnic tables. I sat down on one of the tables, and Jake took up the spot next to me. 

"How did you know about this place?" Jake looked over to me, as he took a bite of one of his tacos. "When I was younger, Ice was stationed here at Lemoore for a spell, and one night he brought me here. We sat right here at this picnic table and stargazed, well that is until," woosh, one of the planes from the base took off overhead, "that." I chuckled.

"He knew the night fliers would be out testing different things. This is honestly where I fell in love with the naval aviation side of the Navy. Yeah I've always had love for the Navy, and knew I was going to join one day, but that day with Ice solidified that I took was going to follow in his footsteps as a naval aviator." 

I say sighing contently, and taking a bite out of my tacos. Once we had finished our food, we laid back on the table and I started to point out different constellations to Jake. We laid there together enjoying the view of the stars, and every once in a while, a Navy jet flying over. 

"This was a nice surprise Kota." Jake said when it started to get really late. "Yeah it was, thank you for being a good sport and letting me share with you one of my hidden happy places." I said as I went to throw our trash away.

We recollected our things, and got back on the bike and returned back to my barracks room. As much as I had wished that could've been our first date I still wasn't ready to take that risk, and be fully transparent about my feelings towards Jake.

We grabbed some things from my barracks room, and he drove us back to his place. I spent the night at his place, so that we could spend all day tomorrow at his place having a movie marathon, watching all of our favorites on his big screen tv, and just enjoying each other's company. Little did either of us know, we both were falling for each other just that much more.

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[cupidsnumberonehater]

Draft but I thought I'd post this before season two comes out and rots my brain even more. Also this was made with a sort've "everything's figured out and everything's fine" sort of vibe in mind so 🤷

My friend and I somehow got onto the topic of what animals the crew members would adopt if they could but it ended up just being us planning a DogDad!Izzy AU

I drew things for it

We are ignoring any historical shit on the breed we chose bc we think it's a perfect fit so yk

Made excuses for why Ed would break his no pets policy

Made excuses for why Izzy would break the no pets policy

The dog's name is Mutt bc that's all Izzy calls him and by the time the crew found out and wanted to try calling him different names, the dog was kinda attached to the name Mutt so..

He's a rottweiler/lab mix (for now). For historical sake, if you want, we can just say a rottie mix. Labs weren't bred til the 1800s according to a very shallow google search.

Doodles!!

Comic!!

Notes!! Headcanons!! Whatever have you!!

Izzy didn't plan on asking Ed to keep him, or keeping him at all actually. Mutt followed him, and probably snuck aboard. We thought it'd be funny if Stede and Olu found him since they probably wouldn't know about the whole "no pets policy" thing Ed has. They bring him to Ed and are like "hey look" and Ed's like "wtf, get him off the ship" but somehow, Mutt runs off, finds Izzy and vavoom or something.

Loving the idea that Ed would be convinced that Mutt is a pure bred killer, which is why he allowed him to stay, only to watch him smother some of the crew with kisses and cuddle every fucking day

Izzy and Ed both are literally perfect for the "dad who said no then became the dog's best friend" thing just thought I'd point that out

Wee John or someone sewing him up a bandana so he "looks like a scary pirate dog" <3

Frenchie is excited bc dogs chase cats away, but Mutt just makes friends with other animals so..

The only one who's able to actually ignore the puppy eyes tactic is Buttons. It just feels correct. Izzy and Ed almost can. Almost.

Mutt has to wait outside Jackie's bar when they're there. One of the crew always stays with him.

Really liking the idea of "dog" being a negative term from Izzy whilst "mutt" is somehow more positive so the name wasn't bad in his eyes

Normally sleeps besides Izzy's bed, since Izzy was the first one he got attached to and kinda the whole point of this AU of sorts, but sometimes he sleeps with the crew or Stede. Izzy won't let him stay with Ed alone quite yet, juuuust in case.

Izzy lets him sleep on the end of his bed, most of the crew lets him sleep curled up with them, and Stede doesn't like to let him sleep in his bed for fear of fleas and dirt and etc etc, but also there's no way in hell that man can say no to puppy eyes (I mean look at s1 Ed)

Izzy (maybe partnered up with Stede) tries to train Mutt well, but unfortunately Frenchie and Roach like to "untrain" him in a way, or train him in ways that aren't so Izzy-approved.

Whilst Stede reads to the crew, Izzy reads/tells stories to Mutt.

Roach learning to make dog-healthy treats for him!

It takes a while for Mutt and Ed to warm up to each other but once they do, they're homies. Ed still treats him like he can be a beast but learns not to push anything. "Go fucking kill that crab over there and I'll have Roach make you something real special." "No? Alright fine. No treat for you. Just regular food..maybe a singular treat for your effort."

Lucius turning Mutt into a little model, Wee John and them making him different little clothes to wear for said modelling, and somehow they convince Izzy to sit long enough to be sketched with him once and probably only once. Fang likes to sit and hold him whilst being doodled.

Jim and Mutt having little chats after raids and stuff. "Captain says your a born killer. Same." Mutt can't answer but they know he's listening as much as he can.

That said, Mutt is 100% most of them's personal therapist. He doesn't understand human problems nor has the ability to give them advice, but it's nice to talk about things anyway. My friend is a massive Stede fan so ofc they had to offer up Stede crying but hugging Mutt so it ends up being a good kinda cry. And honestly yeah I dig it.

Izzy's 100% worried that the "no pets policy" is gonna suddenly come back and likes it best when Mutt stays with him bc of it. This is a feel good AU, obviously, but angstwise, Mutt could totally be used against Izzy and the crew.

Fang definitely teared up finding out Mutt was staying, but got attached immediately and 100% wants to help Izzy protect Mutt.

For some reason, Stede gives off "has a pretty bad dog hair allergy, would hug a dog anyway" vibes, so that's something we like to joke about. "Your face is a bit puffy there, Bonnet." "Oh yeah, I'm terribly allergic to canines." "You what?" "I said I'm terribl-" "Get your face out of his fucking fur you absolute twat!"

Mutt likes to roll in mud when on land and some of the crew probably think "why not join him" every single time. Who? Idk. But some of them.

Mutt joining in on the fuckeries. Somehow.

The Swede singing and Mutt howling with him.

Frenchie singing and Mutt howling with him.

Izzy yelling at someone and Mutt barking/growing with him.

For the most part Mutt is an absolute sweetheart, but Izzy is his dad, and he's a fast learner. 100% acts all vicious whenever Izzy's feeling aggressive (but it's mostly an act and he just kinda idly stands by Izzy like "yeah I'm tough shit too" then goes back to acting like a puppy the moment Izzy shuts up).

Okay that's all for now, good night, AND SEE YAH WHEN SEASON TWO AIRS!

[rakka-kasahara]

2025-01-19

Dream:

Had a lot, though most are just going to be vague details. Some of these many not have been separate dreams but parts of the same dream.

In the first, I am outside a house with a lot of people. This house must be on the end of town as there isn't many other houses around or trees. The ground is just dirt, and there is a light layer of snow on top. We are outside the house, though I think we eventually go in through a sliding glass door.

In the second I remember, I am in the lobby of a very fancy hotel. Nice marble floors and the like. I believe there is an ice cream shop in there as well. I walk up some stairs to the second floor. It overhangs and overlooks the first floor. While I am up there, the building gets raided. I am not sure if it was police or some robbers, though likely the former as they had attack dogs. I head to a elevator to leave. In the elevator is a butler named Jeeves. He stands in front of the door to prevent an attack dog from getting in. What a hero. I think some other people also tried getting in the elevator.

The third takes place with Brother A. We are outside a hardware store, I think a Home Depot. They are having a two for one sale on everything. We walk over to the entrance where they have some things for sale outside. My brother grabs four snow shovels, and a worker looks at him weird. I may have said that they are for Grandma. We enter, and for a hardware store, there sure are a lot of clothes. I look at some coats and some sweatpants. They had some of those slick exercise pants, but they had wacky patterns.

This may have been part of the previous, but I am with Brother A and we descend multiple floors until we hit the floor right before the final. Despite being a basement, this appears to be based on the attic at my college dorms. There are a couple other people with us. We can't go down as there are some sort of creatures down there. I don't think they were zombies, but rather humans with some odd deformities. I am not sure what we are doing there, I think he just wanted to show me this. One of the creatures starts going up the stairs, and I try to push it back with my mind powers.

Another dream starts in a bathroom. I have a computer in there. Out in the living room are some more computers, and a few other people are there. Not sure what is going on, but the computer in the bathroom has a pistol in it. I think there were other cases with guns in them.

In the next, I "wake up" in the computer room back home, which is what we call our Dad's office. I am not sure why I was sleeping in there. My Dad shows up and says something. I leave the computer room and head to the front door. I open it, and a couple of cats that aren't our own come in. They kind of roll around, and I give them a petting.

In the final dream, I am in the living room back home. Brother A is there and some guy from college. I have a computer back in the corner, and I think there are a few others. I remember something on the TV where a couple of politicians were wearing crazy amounts of eye shadow. Someone is talking around computers, and I show off my. I have a lot of peripherals sticking out of the back, including some hard drives. The other guy starts criticizing the setup and saying it wouldn't work even though it currently is. I show him a card I have for it that allows it to work. Eventually, I look out into the back yard to see a neighbor man in the back yard being loaded into an ambulance. He is dead. On the TV, the news is talking about his death. They mention it was due to a mini skeleton being found under the floor boards.

Analysis:

For the first, I was looking at some houses for sale last night, and there were a good deal of new construction homes. Some houses actually had open houses yesterday, and I was a little disappointed that I missed out.

For the second, I think the hotel was based on a hotel in my university town. My parents stayed there one year when they came to pick me up. Jeeves is probably because we used Jenkins at work. It uses a butler icon, and Jeeves is a pretty butler-esque name. Not sure of the police raid, but the dogs are probably from the dog rounds in CoD.

For the third, a local home repair store closed. It is by Walmart, so I always pass by it then. They had a sale going before closing.

I am not sure if anything inspired the fourth, but dreams where I descend into a basement aren't uncommon. Often there is something down there, though usually I don't see it and just feel it. I think these dreams might be due to the scary basement at our old house.

Some apartment people are going to have to checkout my apartment on Monday. I was wondering how they would react to seeing all my computers, and I was hoping they don't notice the shotgun in a towel in the closet. I think that "hiding guns in computers" is a combination of those two things.

Not really a fan of these "wake up in some odd place, unsure how I got there" type dreams. Always a little unsettling. It might be also due to the apartment people coming and seeing that I sleep in a pile of blankets on the floor.

For the last, the computers thing is probably for the same reason as the previous one. There was a guy in college who had a game engine club. He ended up being kicked out due to failing a bunch of classes, but he kind of was a little arrogant. It might also be some Linus Tech Tips elitism as well. The backyard neighbor hasn't been doing too well according to my Mom, so that is probably the death part. Why a mini skeleton, though? Not sure.

[etherdiver]

So, dogs do what they are a) trained and B) bred to do. Simple.

Pit bulls were bred as fighting dogs. This is not in dispute. Their genes tell them to be aggressive (mostly against other dogs, but against anything they perceive as a threat, ultimately). No amount of training will change this; you can only minimize it and work around it.

Pit bulls are big dogs, and very powerful. They are perfectly capable of killing an adult human one-on-one; in fact, if the theoretical human opponent is unarmed, the smart bet is on the dog in that fight regardless of the human in question.

That's the genetic side. You can't change these things, so from that perspective, this IS a dangerous breed.

But you can train a dog to do a lot of things that aren't part of its breeding/temperament. I've seen dogs wear clothes, ride little bicycles, jump through literal hoops, etc etc. None of this is breeding per se, and it sure as fuck isn't some essential, immutable dog nature; it's all training.

And that includes training pit bulls to be calm and gentle. They might still want to be aggressive, and under extreme stress, they may become so in any case. And some rare individuals are probably too aggro to ever be properly trained to ignore it, just like some people are assholes even with a proper upbringing.

So where does that leave the question? Well, a well-trained, not traumatized pit bull with a good owner is probably no more threat than anything that has to be treated with a little bit of care -- say a pocket knife, or acetaminophen. Yeah, it can kill you or someone else if you're a fucking dumbass or extremely unlucky, but ... c'mon.

I think the real issue here is A LOT of people who want to own pitbulls are fucking awful people. They do everything they can to make the dogs aggro, because that's what they're after. And THOSE pit bulls are a fucking menace to society. My neighbor's dog busted out of his front door, pinned the mailman and bit him IN THE CROTCH three times before the owner could pull him off. Stitches, physical therapy, etc. And the fucking guy still has the dog (don't ask me how, I don't understand how the dog wasn't destroyed immediately).

So the answer is, yeah as a breed pit bulls are somewhat dangerous but not unmanageably so, but too many of the people that own them are insanely dangerous, and a pit in the hands of someone like that is barely a step down from a handgun in terms of lethality, and even more unpredictable.

I'm not for banning the breed, but I do think you ought to have to do a full psych eval before you're allowed to have one.

Do you know what the consensus on pit bulls is? Some people say the negative stereotypes surrounding them are unfair, while others insist they’re inherently dangerous dogs that shouldn’t be kept as pets. Both views are biased to some degree, so I don’t know which to believe.

they're just. dogs.

and same as german shepards, same as huskies, same as dalmations, they have specific breed requirements and aren't right for every home! also like all dogs, they have to be trained to be a reliable and safe pet. but with their needs met and good training, they're about the same as any other dog in their size range (with individual exceptions for personal history and trauma of course)

[the-and-sign-anon]

Fall/Halloween Prompts

One Word Prompts

Pumpkin

Acorn

Leaves

Sweater

Boots

Scarecrow

Pie

Ghost

Tombstone

Candy Corn

Plaid

Jacket

Apples

Hot Chocolate

Beanies

Gloves

Hay

Cookies

Scarf

Situations/AUs

Apple Picking

Corn Maze

Pumpkin Patch

Pumpkin Carving

Decorating

Halloween Party

Movie Party

Stealing a sweater/scarf

Taking children trick-or-treating

Handing out candy

'We both showed up at a party wearing matching costumes, so everyone thinks we're together and we aren't sure how to respond to that'

'I fell off the hayride and you managed to catch me and now I'm blushing really hard because you're cute and I don't know what to do'

'We both brought our little siblings to a corn maze and we keep running into each other before teaming up to find them all'

'I was trying to take fall pictures of my friends, but I lost them, so I started taking pictures of random people, but you caught me and now I'm doing an impromptu photo shoot with you'

'You've been making hats for like a month now and I jokingly asked for one, but you just walked up to me and gave me one in my favorite color (which I didn't even know you knew) and I don't know what to do'

'You found me in a Walmart crying over baby pumpkins at 2am and I can't explain myself in a way that doesn't make me sound incredibly unstable'

‘I got scared and instinctively reached for the nearest thing, which turned out to be your hand’

‘I’m trying to rake the leaves in my front yard, but your dog just ran through all my piles and I want to be mad, but you’re both really cute’

‘My friends were sharing scary stories, so I’m on edge and you had the misfortune of approaching me from behind and I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to give you a bloody nose’

‘You have a habit of going too hard on crafts and I trusted you to stay in line for one afternoon, but now the living room is covered in plastic to avoid getting paint everywhere and, yeah, sure, it’s really my fault for leaving you unsupervised’

Dialogue

“No, I don’t have enough flannel. Why do you ask?”

“Get in the car, we’re going leaf gathering.”

“I thought we were getting coffee.” “It’s fall; you’re having got chocolate or nothing.”

“I saw you were running out of yarn, so I brought you more.”

“I’m gonna wear this pumpkin on my head.” “Don’t do that, you’ll get stuck.” “I’m gonna do it.”

“Halloween is my excuse to wear clothes that I would get judged for otherwise.”

“It’s Halloween!” “It’s September!” “Pre-Halloween then!”

“I saw a ghost!” “We’re looking for ghosts, genius. That’s a good thing.”

“The leaves are changing color!” “That happens every year.” “It’s magical!”

“Your hands are cold.”

“There’s a leaf in your hair.”

“Why do you have so many eggs and toilet paper—you know what? I don't want to know.”

“Please tell me that’s fake blood.”

“Do you want to borrow my jacket?”

“She’s not allowed to have knives.”

“Flannel and sweatpants? I like your style.”

“You can just paint your pumpkin instead.”

“You have too many fabric pumpkins.” “That’s not possible and I’m offended that you think that.”

“Wouldn’t you like to see something strange?”

“There’s blood on your shirt.” “Oh, don’t worry, it’s not mine.”

“Why are the cat and dog covered in toilet paper?” “One word- mummies!”

“I love you more than life itself.” “You’re talking to a ghost plush.” “Yes, I am.”

[seattlesea]

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (Part Three)

John: Am I cute

Six: Whatever makes you happy

--

Marina: Where’s my perfume?

Eight: I drank it

--

Nine: *squeezes bread* I just really felt like doing that

Five: I feel like doing that to you

--

Eight: Use your bread you fucking heathen

--

Five, tucking Maggie and Ella into bed: Night night c*nts

Maggie and Ella, in unison: REEEE

--

John: *attempts to do something but fails*

Nine: Bitch thought

John: Shut up

Six: Bitch thought

Five: Bitch thought

One: Bitch thought

Eight: Bitch thought

Adam: Bitch thought

John: I hate you guys so fucking much

--

Eight: Is eating this much cheese even healthy???

--

John: Raise your hand if you love dogs

Adam: I would but I’m eating goldfish

--

Five, on an Omegle video chat with a knocked-out Sam and Ella: They're dead

Nine, on the other end of the call: Tell them to get up

--

Six: Men are dumb. Fuck men. You know, what? To all the ladies in the chat, here's some advice.

Six: Become a lesbian

Six: Adopt a cat

Six: Plant a garden

Six: Live in a forest

Six: Destroy the patriarchy

Six: Travel the world

Six: Fuck shit up

Six: And do it with a smile and a piña colada *bites chip*

--

Marina: I was gonna wear a cute pink flower crown with my outfit but then I thought fuck that, I'm going low-key cottagecore, not Ohioan frolicker or Idahoan horse girl

--

Adam: Dude, are you high?

Sam: What? No

Sam, suddenly remembering he rode passenger while Nile smoked weed on their way home and has gotten high off second-hand smoking weed before: OH SHI-

--

Five: Why am I even up at four in the morning with chips and Mountain Dew???

Marina: I mean, it could be from insomnia rooting from your depressio-

Five: Depression? BITCH PLEASE that shit is so 2019

--

Adam's teacher: I know it's Monday, but if it's any comfort, today is the first day of the last week of April!

Adam: What the FUCK did you just say to me-

--

Eight, mimicking an old man: gEt OfF mY lAwN

Sam: *puts face in bowl and laughs*

--

Nine, knocking on the door: Let me innnnn

John, sitting against the door so Nine doesn't come in: No, I'm still mad at you

Nine: Ok ok I'm sorry, I'll pay you fifty dollars

--

Five, trying to be compassionate with Nine: Remember when we used to match hairstyles, you fuck?

--

Literally anyone: *laughs*

Eight: Giggles

--

Hannu: No sad, just ball

--

Six: fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me square up square up square up sqUARE UP SQUARE U-

--

One: Can I use your headphones?

Adam: Sorry, I'm using the-

One: Shut up you dumb fuck

--

Eight, talking to himself in the mirror: Oh my god look at you in your big, baggy flannel you look sO CUTE you're adorable don't let anyone tell you differently, including you you dumb fucking insecure little bitch

--

Daniela: What would happen if a woman took penis enlargement pills?

Adam: Hey no offense but what the fuck is wrong with you?

--

John: What even goes on in your mind?

Nine: Tarot cards, money, Cotton Eye Joe on loop, applesauce, lighting a house on fire, jumping out a second-story house to see if my ankle is durable or not...

John:...

Nine: But mostly Cotton Eye Joe on loop

--

Five: Some people identify as she/her. Some people identify as he/him. Some people identify as they/them. I identifty as a fucking disappointment.

--

Marina: Hey, can I ask you a question?

Eight, naked in a bubble-filled bathtub with lit candles, a wine glass full of apple juice, and IceJJFish playing: Do I look like someone with the fucking time?

--

John: Hey, are you gay?

Adam, sitting on the ground blasting Ariana Grande with an iced almond milk latte and wearing a baggy flannel shirt: BITCH-

--

Six: *opens her online-shopping package*

Marina: Uh, those are going to make you look a little emo, aren't they?

Six, putting on her thick chain choker and leather gloves: that's the poINT-

--

Sam: *dances like a crab to the Crab Rave* Crabby Rave make pain go away

--

One: 'oH i DoNt HaVe PrOnOuNs'- what the fuck are you then, a toaster?

--

Random celebrity: Wow, fangirls are so sweet and dedicated, they really should get paid for all the promotions and hard work they do!

Six: Ok pay me then

--

Maggie, crying: All I wanted was some fucking chicky nuggies

--

Sam, walking up to Nine in public: Hey bestie-

Nine: I don't know you

Sam: Bitch-

--

Ella: I'm gonna send a celebrity a meme everyday until they reply to me

Marina: Why?

Ella: Why the fuck not?

--

Five: Yeah, I'm depressed *laughs*

John: Why'd you laugh?

Five: It's a coping mechanism

--

Maggie: I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner I wants the three D's

Sarah, horrified: The WHAT

Maggie: Dogs, donuts, and diamonds

--

Hannu: So there's this philosophy theory-

One: I will fucking drown you

--

Six: If you are male and you have a flat ass, don't speak to me. I need guy friends who match my level of THICKNESS

--

One: Oh my god she's so cute

Adam: She has a girlfriend

One: Sharing is caring

--

Five: If ONE MORE BITCHASS WHORE comments on my clothes and shits about how feminine I dress I swear I will be gOING TO JAIL

Five: JUST SAY YOU ARE JEALOUS YOU CAN'T WORK BOTH AND LEAVE BITCH

--

Nine: So I have this problem where I hate myself but I still think I'm better than everyone else

John:...

Nine: Like I'm trash but I'm QUALITY trash, I'm trash from the garbage bags of Louis Vuitton, I'm recyclable, reusable trash, I'm the trash no one wants to throw away

John: Um...

Nine: If Gucci made a limited-edition, 24-karat gold garbage bag, I'd be that garbage bag

--

Maggie, holding a nerf gun to Adam's head: Gimme all your fucking money

--

Sam: I don't know, I've just been feeling a little down lately

Six: No

Sam: What?

Six: That's not allowed

Sam: Wha-

Six: *smacks Sam in the face with a pillow*

--

Maggie: BESTIE. YOU ARE A BAD BITCH. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. WORK IT QUEEN

The pigeon on the sidewalk:

[theringers]

V-card anon: hi sorry about that first ask i kinda went into a fugue state (spelling?) altered state of reality maybe when i wrote that and damn near outlined a fic in your inbox

The way we played hot seat was either part of a larger drinking game when a certain card was pulled from a deck, or just on it's own. You sit in a circle, everyone has a drink, usually a beer or cider. In the card pull version, the one who pulls the card gets asked a question by every person playing and if they refuse to answer they drink from their drink. In the standalone, you do that but everyone gets a turn being asked until people get bored and leave. Fun way to find out shit about people. Usually the unwritten rule is that you can't lie. I imagine everyone sitting on shitty chouches and chairs in a semi circle around a table full of cups and bottles playing it

Questions i have been asked: are you a top or bottom? Do you like anal? Wheres the weirdest place you've fucked? Body count? Favorite position (sexual)? Fuck marry kill/ignore people in this room (EVERY TIME I PLAYED I GOT THIS QUESTION)? Tits or ass or other? Favorite non sexual body part ex. Thigh? Ideal fuck buddy? Sex regrets? Etc

Also more weird details i have head cannoned out for some drivers and most likely does not fit with irl personalities, do with this what you will, use it or don't i just have feelings. Also everyone is like compressed in age to like 20-27ish except for some of the grid who i will just think of as younger alumns who come back:

Danny R: social chair, owns a jeep he takes the doors off of in the summer, walks girls home at night to make sure they're ok, tries to DJ house events and is rebuffed by literally everyone, has like 30 pairs of vans you trip over in his room, stolen roadsigns everywhere, masters in something arigcultural or physiological, cutoff frat shirts for days, fuckboy but nice, a bit cringe, will drive around with you at night so you can scream, met reader bc she had a band tee on and wanted to talk to her about it (no gatekeeping)

Charles: some kind of engineering or math degree but no one has any idea how the fuck he's gotten so far, 4.0 never studies, games with other house members, will show up at events randomly you will have no idea how he gets on your couch but he is there, the best and worst taste in clothes, is the only one allowed to play the piano in the house, sweet, cannot help you with studies but is always down for helping you out after, has to be reminded to clean stuff, disaster bi, reader met his gf first and they probably met through that

Pierre: good fashion and music taste, shirt is gone halfway through the night, also fuckboy but wholesome, actually studies, plays a sport for sure probably soccer in some way either club or Division he's too good for rec, will hold your hair back so you can throw up, will tell you your outfit sucks, good at math, also part of the squad that games, econ major, workout buddies with reader anday have taken a math class together

Max: is part of the hockey team he will go pro, also actually studies, got into gaming because of Charles, has the nicest car, is serious until he gets a couple drinks in him, he and Daniel are close and roomed together at some point, owns like 30 sets of the same outfit a white tee and jeans, knows reader through Dan and they get dragged by him to some of the same stuff

Lando: is a pledge or new member his big is Carlos, undeclared major, just happy to be here, gaming squad, used to play lacrosse or something equally obscure, king of knowing where the good snacks are, weirdly good at beer pong, growing into a fuckboy wholesomeness level tbd, probably sweet with reader as she helped him through a blackout or something, met her because she's basically house mom for some of the new boys (the kind of mom who will teach you to do laundry or iron ONCE)

Carlos: hockey flow but does not play hockey, actually studies and is smarter than what people give him credit for, came from a private high school and uni really opened his horizons, also good study buddy, gets along with most people, goes to office hours the most out of the actually studies gang, fun at parties, owns the frat dogs, he and reader met at Office hours (they were the only students) and found they had mutual friends too

Lewis: is/was president of frat, great grades greater bod, did full evolution from fuckboy to good man, has the back tests and the moral support, up for late noght talks about life, definitely was a D1 athlete, best fashion game, implemented no hazing policy, fits into notable alum or PhD category

Mick: undergrad like Lando, also plays soccer or something, too sweet, also walks girls home/holds your hair back etc, cleans parts of the house that aren't his responsibility, higher alcohol tolerance than you expect, everyone is bizarrely protective of him, legacy member (his dad was a legend), drives a motorbike around campus and can't decide between law and psychology, actually studies, met reader through the frat and she would die for him, brings her to class on the bike sometimes because the bike is faster

George: business major, frat treasurer, three ring binder business casual in class kind of guy, nice enough, shirt comes off when drunk, runs marathons and a podcast about investments, best notes in the game and great study partner, actually studies, is drinking monster at 6AM but not because he stayed up late, he and reader met through the frat and sometimes drink wine and bitch together

Lance: hockey player, legacy member, studies sometimes, sarcasm on point, great at stack cup, very chill, knows every good nap spot on campus, also has high alcohol tolerance, is the kind of person who does well in the cold but does not like it, wears headphones so people don't talk to him, great one on one but not in crowds, business major and minor in computer science, probably also met thru Lance's gf but vibe as more introverted people and will cover for each other if one does not want to go out

Nicky: a good boy, part of the walks people home squad, sets up designated drivers for parties, good snack game, future in medical field, good listener, pretty good study buddy, midnight snack enabler, met reader through frat and his gf he and reader are on babysitting duty together sometimes when others get too drunk/high

Yuki: also a pledge or new, majoring in games or computer science as they gave me the same energy as him, games squad, bit of a mad lad, has several stolen street signs, good, met reader through frat and Yuki is the only one patient enough to explain some games to reader, they cuss people out on mic

Esteban: good man, has a full ride scholarship, actually studies, also good study buddy, Dan's little, plays soccer but maybe on a rec team because he prioritizes school, very sweet guy as well, probably chose a really practical major/dual major, met reader through Dan and are also dragged similar places by him

Antonio: manbun, philosophy or classics major possibly business dual, generally good natured but can be seen supplying his own wine at parties, used to be really into metal but kept the hair, does not know that people find him attractive, soccer boi, met reader through frat and she's the only one who will (pretend) to listen to him rant about philosophy

Alex Albon: another full scholarship guy, somehow gets along with everyone, switched majors due to an asshole professor, electrical engineering or computer engineering, actually studies, helps with frat pets,will show you pictures of his cats at home, sweetie, another contender for will hold your hair or walk you home, probably met reader through a class or club and found they had mutual friends and that reader is friends with his gf

Notable alums:

Checo - dad, successful in finance somehow (he looks like an really successful accountant of CFO to me idk why)

Kimi - dad but people forget he is, holds the record for most drinks in 24 hours that will never be come close to by anyone else, shows up on random alum weekends with 2 kegs, legally cannot tell you what he does or he would actually have to murder you

Valterri - was good at a sport when he was there, now a very effective lead engineer at an architectural firm

Seb - environmental or mechanical engineering, all around good guy with someone the best grades in frat history

Alonso - legendary for sexual exploits (consensual)

Anyone I put as actually studies is probably the type reader would hang around for more serious stuff/schoolwork and would probably be closer to, with the exception of Dan bc I feel like he'd be like we're friends now :)) we shall hang or Charles bc he will just show up. I also imagine she has a pretty good friendship with any existing gf, however if a driver does have a gf and he is the love interest sorry bb girl u gotta go for the purposes of this fic

Sorry this is so long hahaaaaaaa glad you liked my Charles thoughts ilu

i honestly wasn’t going to share this like the rest of the anon asks i’ve gotten that i keep close to my heart but this was just too good to keep to myself.

LOOK! AT! THIS!

f1 drivers as frat bros/college students headcannon

i’m writing a series - each “chapter” will be a smut with a different frat bro and i’m hoping to post a sneak peek this week some time but here’s something to hold you over and give you some ideas

to my vcard anon - i appreciate this so much. my inbox is always open for ur thoughts bc they are SO GOOD !! can’t wait for you to read the first part of the series bby

PS if some of this doesn’t make sense to u feel free to send in asks (i know a lot of this is focused on american college culture so if u don’t get it i’m happy to explain)

[godslayingenthusiast]

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Sermon No. 9: There Are No Bars Or Cages is a work from Holy Nonsense, a Creative Commons project. View Holy Nonsense 2020 here.

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Rev Roger Sermon #9: There Are No Bars Or Cages -

Brothers and Sisters, sinners and mutants, freaks and walking glitches, I bid you a good evening. This evening, we are gonna talk about prisons.

Now, there are a few different kinds of prisons...there is The Big House, The Prison of Toil, and The Prison of Your Frickin' Head.

The Big House, as we all know, is the prison they send you to when you get caught breaking one of their rules (Which, as Kafka noted, you can't help doing. The rules are so complex, you WILL break them, every day). We aren't gonna talk too much about this type of prison, because you can see that on any network, though not so much now as the last couple of years...save for this: All of those prison TV shows, "Inside reports", "OZ", "The Big House", ad infinitum, ad nauseum, are there for a reason. The lesson they impart, my friends, is this: If you get out of line, we'll put you in a cell with people like THESE!

The Prison of Toil, however, is a prison they put you into starting at age 5. You are placed in an unnatural state for a juvenile primate; you are forced to wear clothes, sit in an uncomfortable position, and stay still for HOURS while they teach ya the proper art of the Fnords. You are told that you must excel, so you can go to college, where presumably, the Fnords can't get you.

Once you get to college, however, you are told that you must continue to toil, so that you can get a good job... you STILL aren't safe from the Fnords. Then, one day, you graduate to the supposed "real world", where you are told that you must now work hard for your parole at 65... because if you don't the Fnords will make you eat dog-food in your retirement... WHAT A SUPRISE! The Fnords don't eat children, they eat senior citizens. They lied AGAIN! The problem is, even if you DO follow their advice, you are still screwed. By the time you are paroled, you are too old to enjoy it, and just like real prison, most inmates don't LIVE long enough to GET parole. What can you do about this? How can you escape THIS prison, which has no bars (though many inmates DO have cells, or cubes as we call them)? Well first, you have to escape the REAL prison, The Prison of Your Frickin' Head.

The Prison of Your Frickin' Head is the worst jail of all...As G.G. Gordon once said, "Where can you run, where can you hide, when the man in blue is on the INSIDE?" This is the prison from which very few people get out alive. There is NO parole, and you will spend all the days of your life inside it, should you not escape. This is the prison built for you by those around you, wih your willing help. It is done in the following fashion:

1) You are convinced by society that you are not good enough, and that all of your accomplishments so far have been GOOD LUCK. You will be found out for (as RAW said) the "no good shit" you are. The only escape from this is ego-training, or stupidity. Most talented people think, deep down inside, that they are frauds. Most utter fools consider themselves gawdlike. Go figure.

2) You are told by society that they are watching. Just who they are is never made clear; but it IS made clear that they had better not catch you in any funny-business, or you are screwed. (Of course, they are the Fnords)

3) You are taught to "fit in", one way or the other. Either you fit in to the mold the establishment sets up for you, or you rebel...and most rebels tend to fit into one group or another (Goth, Punker, New-age bliss zombie, Discordian, Subgenius, etc)...and if you aren't careful you fall into the conformity of non-conformists. If you don't dress a certain way, or mouth the correct ritual sayings, you are obviously a "normal" or a “greyface"... Despite the fact that the weirdest freaks, the truest Yeti, usually BLEND RIGHT IN!

So what do we do about it? How do we escape? We escape SYSTEMATICALLY. You don't saw each bar a little at a time, you whack each bar out, methodically...thus:

1) For the ingrained failure complex, use ego-training. Not that "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough" affirmation shyt, either. No, you are superior. This is proven by the fact that you even noticed the cage in your head at all! When you look in the mirror, don't THINK there are no flaws, KNOW there are no flaws. When you screw up, screw up catastophically! ROLL IN YOUR MISTAKES! WALLOW IN THEM, AND LEARN FROM THEM. Most "normals" will start wars to avoid admitting they made a mistake. Don't fall into that trap. When you are no longer afraid of mistakes, you will make less of them, and you WON'T CARE about the ones you still DO make.

2) There is no they. You've been lied to, all these years. THERE ARE NO FNORDS! There never have been. The cage is only in your head, there is no warden, and we are all free, should we realize it. It's all a collosal LIE. Now, most people are afraid of freedom. They might make a mistake...for that, see #1. As far as getting caught and going to The Big House, well, if you can't outwit the morons who run the system, then you aren't much of a Yeti after all, are you? LIE to them, SMILE in their face, and KEEP YOUR BOBDAMNED MOUTH SHUT AFTER PRANKS! He who kicks society in the crotch and shuts his mouth, usually lives to kick it again tomorrow.

3) Don't worry about fitting in. Just because you LIKE to dress like a Goth, for example, doesn't make you a conformist...provided that's REALLY why you do it (as opposed to seeking acceptance from Goths). If you say to yourself, "Is my image perfect today", you are probably screwing up. If you say, "Cool" when you look in the mirror, you're probably ok...the best rule is, if you are BEING YOURSELF, don't sweat it.

Or kill me.

[aside: Over the last year over 50,000 deaths were attributable directly to surprise.]

[merakiui]

I've been reading all your posts since this Saturday and thought of a creepy concept when I read the headcanons of scara x civilian s/o like... Imagine his poor s/o if he turned out to be a yandere- I feel bad for them, it'd be too easy for him to isolate them and keep them for himself. With such a powerless s/o i think he'd be more of an overprotective/obsessive yandere rather than a heavily sadistic one, like he'd want to be the only one they rely on, the only one they can trust, the only one they can see. I also imagine he'd keep them in a safe place, say, a protected house? Where they'll have any material thing they could need but aren't allowed to ever leave, and if they try, he won't hesitate to punish them in any way he sees fit. Afterwards, he'd place them inside a cage until they've learned their lesson. Like he wants an absolutely devote, loyal and obedient darling rather than one that would rebel 24/7, so he'd do whatever it takes to get them to be like that- or to keep them that way, which means they can never talk to anyone except him...

sighs thinking about yan scara in that situation is so scary but fun this man has taken over my mind orz but what do you think about this concept? Your yanderes are always well written and I sorta feel like this concept was redundant idk :")

ANON, THIS IS GREAT!!! It’s not redundant at all! It’s perfect for two-faced Scaramouche.

cw: abuse, abuse of power, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, yandere

The thing about Scaramouche is that he starts off so sweet and charming, all smiles and love. He spoils you rotten with gifts of all kinds and most of them are things you’d have to work a lifetime to be able to afford. Since you are without a Vision, he sees to it that you are always taken care of. Your clothes are of the finest quality, your hygiene is top-tier, and you’re under his protection. Not only is Scaramouche good-looking, kind, and wealthy, he also has the luxury of traveling throughout Teyvat. You’ve never accompanied him on his travels because they’re usually too perilous, but he has offered to take you to Inazuma multiple times when his schedule frees up. 

It’s your ideal relationship: loving, romantic, and free of any constraints or struggles.

He doesn’t keep his job a secret. Rather than that, he tells you about it one evening while the two of you delight in each other’s company. While you aren’t too happy to know that he works for such a scary organization, you’re relieved to know that he’s one of the Harbingers. At least you won’t have to worry about anyone treating him poorly or unfairly.

The relationship takes a turn that’s so swift it has you reeling. Before all of this madness, you were free to do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted. Scaramouche never limited your options of fun. His only order was that you must stay safe and in the presence of someone he trusts (such as one of his lackeys). Now you’re forced to wear certain clothes, eat certain meals, and you can’t leave the house. He’s so controlling and possessive to a nuclear degree. Even when he’s out of the house for work-related purposes, you still feel constricted and controlled, unable to do anything but sit still and look attractive. 

His true nature outshines the falsified glamor of what you once thought was love. Scaramouche is rarely vulnerable; you realize he’s told you basic facts about himself and most of them could have been lies. He only shows you what he wants you to see, and you believed everything so readily because you thought this relationship was built upon love and trust. 

Eventually not even his lackeys can talk to you. You’re cut off from the entire world and your only form of communication is with Scaramouche. He’s the one who’ll care for you, love you, and spoil you with jewels and trinkets. It doesn’t even feel like you have rights anymore. He’s so dehumanizing; it drives you insane. After your first escape attempt, you lost all privileges. He treats you more like a dog than an actual human. You feel more like his pet and not his lover who used to cuddle with him in bed. He probably has a collar and leash for you—just another cheeky way of reminding you of your real place beneath him.

It works very well in Scaramouche’s favor. He couldn’t have found a better darling! You’re defenseless without a Vision, your family is nowhere near as wealthy and influential as he is, and he can easily crush your lineage with a snap of his fingers. He dares you to try escaping. It won’t end happily for you or anyone involved with you. He’s got that much power over you, and he isn’t afraid to remind you when you start to act rebellious. So unless you want to be the sole remaining survivor of your family tree, you’d better perk up and smile when he commands for it. Lest you wind up having to start a family with him for the sake of a new generation. 

[sonicasura]

Balan Wonderworld Review: Favorite Costumes Part 2

Before we get started, I like to say something. I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE TIM TRAPS. If you don't know, there is a specific plant that tends to appear in certain levels called Tim Traps. A carnivorous orange flower that's favorite meal is TIMS. If you kick the plants, you can free your Trapped Tim or prevent one from getting trapped for a short period of time. Problem is if the Tim is trapped for too long, your baby is gone for good. Chapter 3 and Chapter 5's Act 3 are loaded with these annoying plants. To the point if I can't find the trapped Tims, I exit out of the game just to save my poor fluffballs. Ain't sacrificing my little birds for Drops and Trophies! Mini rant over.

Rules are the same as before. I'd be ranking both a Common Costume and Rare Costume. Common Costumes are easily to find whether it be in multiple levels and Rare Costumes are those that rarely appear or are difficult to get.

I'll be doing my favorite Secret Costume after playing all Act 3s for each chapter. Now let's begin.

Chapter 7

Common Costume- Floaty Flower

The Flower Fairy and greatest glider found in the main story. Floaty Flower is a costume that can be found in the Act 1, 2 and the Boss Act, it offers a slower descent but faster movement than the hover for Soaring Sheep.

I love this costume not for its aesthetic but a cute Easter Egg I found in Chapter 7 Act 1. On rare occasions, this costume is an NPC that actually flirts with you! Some NPCs in certain chapters act differently from their standard counterpart. They often try to disguise themselves or runaway. Catching them grants you a free costume of the one you caught.

Floaty Flower will appear and follow you, similar to a shy school girl with a crush. If you go to her, she will run which is a similar action to any shy person getting approached by their crush. Also... I think there is some lore hidden in this one that might be quite sad if it's directly linked to Cal, the human whose heart created this particular world. If so then... OOF.

Rare Costume - Paladin Puncher

A knight fights with his fists than a sword. This costume can be found in Act 2 and is a stronger version of the Pumpkin Puncher that can break iron or ice blocks. He's a bit slower than his Chapter 6 counterpart but perfect breaking the more blocks and defeating spiky enemies.

I also love the fact this costume goes against the traditional tools of a knight. Knights often fight using swords, shields, lances and rare occasions bows or axes. If you give me one who PUNCHES or straight uses martial arts to fight then you got my vote in seconds.

Chapter 8

Common Costume - Snow Fairy

Elegant dancer of ice and snow. The Snow Fairy costume allows the wearer to walk on air for a short period of time and can in found in Act 1 and Act 2. This costume does have a shorter usage time than Air Cat but makes up for it with the added elevation.

I absolutely adore how elegant and beautiful this particular costume is. You can compare the Snow Fairy to myths often related to fae or hidden in the freezing mountains. An otherworldly beauty that makes any hardship worth seeing just a being before your eyes. Being a reindeer type Faun just adds to the mystique and creating snowflakes to walk on is a perfect extra touch.

Rare Costume - Amadeus

Sophisticated pianist. A costume that can only be found in Act 1 and is a performing costume. Now I am a big fan of piano covers, whether it be covers of game osts or actual songs, there is rarely any piano music I don't like.

I love the fact he's wearing piano keys as a collar and even has a tutu made out of those very keys. A very creative take to a normally grounded instrument. And the big white wig is a nice touch since it's often portrayed with pianists in various media.

Chapter 9

Common Costume- Iron Panda

Adorable crusher. Iron Panda is a costume found in Act 1 and Act 2 with the ability to break iron blocks using both its jump and weight. This costume is surprisingly fast for a rather large and heavy form, perfect for fast stomps on enemies or quick getaways if you have rare costumes you don't want to lose.

This costume reminds of a rolling Russian Doll with a panda theme. Very adorable, the bluish purple color suits the white very nicely and I love that sleepy look on its face. The large blue dots on its sides are actually the arms too, they mimic panels! Only thing that unnerves me is when the costume turns their head by a 90 degree angle. Super creepy when using it.

Rare Costume- Merry Ghost

Cute and Spooky! The Merry Ghost is a costume that can be found in Act 2 and gives the ability to constantly float. It's main purpose is to avoid ground hazards like poison swamps and has a larger slightly floaty jump. The only downside is that you can't harm enemies with this, it's only for quick mobility.

Very adorable especially with the stitched rag cloak covering the body. It has this Mimikyu sort of vibe but also a Casper the Friendly Ghost aura too. Friendly spirits are often tossed aside for more vicious or antagonistic ones in a lot of media. Getting an adorable friendly one just adds points in my book and a good pal for Casper.

Chapter 10

Common Costume - Inky Blaster

Yuji Naka's take on a squid kid. This costume can be found in Act 1, Act 2 and the Boss Act. She allows the wearer to throw fast globs of rainbow paint at opponents or targets and is decently agile.

Love that her hands are paintbrushes and is based on the octopus. Tentacles mimicking the frills of a dress and used for hair and feet? A very creative take and splattering rainbow paint on the annoying types of Negati (looking at you ya divebomb happy Pelican and destroyer of most of my good costumes) is very therapeutic.

Rare Costume- Air Unicorn

The first unicorn I like?! This costume can only be found in Act 1 and allows the user to walk on air farther than Air Cat. The practical godfather of mobility, and recovery. You won't believe how many times this costume has gotten me to very difficult areas and saved me from death via falling into the abyss.

It is a very tricky costume to find but if you turn around, there's a large paintbrush on the wall. You need the Double Jumper to get on top but you'll be able to see a hidden mirror. That is where the Air Unicorn is located.

I won't lie that unicorns are not my preferred mythological creature. I live in America where unicorns tend to be oversaturated to oblivion and don't get me started on My Little Pony. The show isn't my cup of tea but I do have some followers and friends who are fans. People have their own opinions and it's rude to question them about it.

I honestly love the elegant but cute design, the purple, pale pink and cyan just fit well with the white, I also love that the mane mimics a paintbrush tip and the large light purple collar of fur is a perfect touch to this fine design.

Chapter 11

Common Costume - Bulldozer

A man's punny best friend! This costume can be in Act 1, Act 2 (?), and the Boss Act. It lets you push special construction blocks and you can boost the push speed by button mashing.

They definitely took a lot of creative for costumes in Chapter 11 amongst the other ones in my opinion. Fire Stations tend to have some animal companions with dogs being the most common but instead of a Dalmatian for the design they used a Bulldog! 😍

Like the aforementioned machine, this good boy is bulky, has the appropriate color scheme and even the hands turn into bulldozer's shovel when using the ability! I love the fact his tail is wagging when you push a block and it wags faster if ya button mash!

Also the name is a pun!

Rare Costume - Fiery Blaster

Pyromancer of Lions. The Fiery Blaster costume can only be found in Act 2. It gives the wearer that ability to throw large fireballs alongside fire and lava immunity. If you hate lava levels or have difficulty with this Chapter's boss then I recommend getting this Costume.

First thing I like to say about this particular design is how they use the colors. Looking at the mane, you can see how the red and darker red are patterned in a way to mimic flames. The dark red fur on the feet are even in fire like a pattern. The outfit such as the yellow and brownish kilt alongside the gloves spewing fire around the wrists just reminds me of a fire dancer.

I can see this fella wielding one of the torches a fire dancer uses and just put on a spectacular show.

Chapter 12

Another loveable version of a beloved icon. The Invisible Man costume can be found in Act 1, Act 2 and the Boss Act. It has the power to turn the wearer invisible for a period of time and become undetected to enemies that aren't bosses.

Agile and perfect to deal with enemies who are very annoying or are difficult snipers. You don't know how satisfying it is to give the more aggravating Negati an invisible middle finger by sneak attacking them. I have lost many costumes whenever enemies got the drop on me so it's fair to dish out payback.

I love how this design takes aspect from the popular icon but also have it relate to their human counterpart. Bandages were used by the original Invisible Man to cover skin his normal clothing couldn't cover in public and made it easier for him to disappear when needed.

The shoes and arms being covered in bandages and some of the bandages being used as bangs for the hair is a nice touch.

Rare Costume - Jolt Tiger

Immovable Taser. This costume can only be found in Act 2. It grants electricity immunity and create a barrier when you stand still. One of the better costumes for baiting particular enemies. You do have to be careful because a single itch will stop the barrier.

If you don't know, the Tiger is my Chinese Zodiac and electricity is one of my favorite elements. Love the yellow lightning bolt flairs and even the black stripes mimic lightning too! I also like the will o' wisp pattern on the stomach and the large tuft of grayish fur around the chest. The design puts it above the Sun Walker.

And that is it! The next thing I will cover is the level design and it's music. The bosses will be done last since it's good to save the best for last!

Until next time folks, see you back in Wonderworld.