#my disturbed thoughts

[wordbunch]

reading/watching lotr for the first time and seeing sauron: I want this bastard DEAD

watching trop now and seeing halbrand/annatar/sauron: I want this bastard IN MY BED

[daily-haley]

Co-workers: you're so anti-social, always in your little world.

Me: *sitting in the corner, disassociating while writing my book in my head*

[vulturevanity]

A Father's Purpose

Someone asks Martin if he actually cares about his daughters. He laughs at the joke he thinks they made.

Alternative version and thoughts under the Read More (please read the content warnings in the tags before clicking through!)

Epithet: ☆Dumb☆

Martin Blyndeff is a carefree man.

Despite his uncomplicated character, I have plenty of thoughts on Worst Dad and his impact on his daughters -- particularly Lorelai, but she isn't the focus on this piece and I'll talk about her another day.

I think what gets me about Martin and Molly is how efficient he is at shutting her down. Whether or not he's aware of what he's doing (it doesn't matter), it's really telling how smoothly he's able to do it. In the Museum Arc, he unloads another night shift onto her, rapid-fires excuses for why she has to take the night shift, takes credit for the school worksheet which she filled out, then changes subjects so she'll drop it. And he does it often enough that Lorelai has caught on to it, to the point that the first thing she does in the book is use his name to shut Molly down too. No matter what, if it's up to Martin, then Molly will have to shut up and deal.

I wonder how much of this DARVO-adjacent behaviour is a result of losing Calliope, if at all. I mean, I really, REALLY can't see how someone like Calliope would've fallen for Martin as he is today; we know he's always been the personification of the word "carefree" and Callie was an anxious workaholic mess, but honestly the Martin we see would probably just constantly stress her out even more (which he did sometimes). He was already rather senseless back then, but I can't help but think having Calliope to take on every burden for him for over 15 years and then losing her so suddenly must have exarcebated the learned helplessness. And since Molly was the one who took over, he just went "well I guess it's her job now", dusted off and went right back to his little world of toys and blissful obliviousness.

And speaking of Molly. She was suffering so much in that house, and yes, there have been plenty of walls of text about the verbal and emotional abuse she suffered from Lorelai, but I feel like we don't talk enough about Martin's complete dismissal of her feelings, thoughts and protests, and how deeply that affected her. He was the one who taught her no one would listen to her. He was he reference point Lorelai used to take advantage of her. He parentified Molly and made her bear the brunt of their financial troubles. And he did it all with a genuine smile across his face.

Martin Blyndeff sucks and I think we should talk about him more.

[v10l3tz-thmblr]

Slow dance with you.

Now this is crazy with no heterosexual explanation. Told yall this would be my fruitiest art 😩

Oh and I think Espio should run !

[diamondcitydarlin]

"All hail to the Realm of Raj!"

AMC's Interview with the Vampire 01x07

[gorillawithautism]

the mr beast pyramids thing is fucked up for several reasons but here are some of the ones that i personally have been thinking about

1. historical significance and capitalism (aka "why does this white man get special privileges? why is he allowed to rent out a world wonder and why do we live in a world where that's possible") - it's not that renting out the pyramids is unheard of because it's definitely happened before. @jehadism even mentioned that the location was rented out for a rave recently. but why do we live in a world where it's possible to reserve access to historical monuments for the rich white foreigners? and how is it that one (1) man has enough money to do this?

2. contemporary cultural significance and the egyptian government (aka "my egyptian mutuals hate this and i've been friends with them long enough to at least have an introductory understanding as to why") - how much access does the average egyptian have to their own history? what with white foreigners looting graves and the egyptian dictatorship destroying monuments, how much easier is it for a white american like myself to go to a museum in person and see the results of white colonialism in "ancient egypt" exhibits as if egyptians aren't a real, still-living community of people? and how much harder is it for an egyptian under dictatorship to visit historical monuments in their own city? what hoops does the average egyptian need to go through just to view artifacts that should be preserved by egyptians, for egyptians, in egypt? why is it that mr beast doesn't have to go through these hoops and can make a public youtube video about it and yet egyptians get disappeared by their own government if they try to speak up against that very government desecrating historical sites?

3. information dissemination and the indoctrination of white supremacist youth (aka "what does this mean for future attitudes towards egyptians and egyptian culture") - mr beast's fanbase is predominantly children which is something mr beast himself has full knowledge of and has stated as such. especially with the more recent allegations against him and his various business pursuits, any adults who happen to watch him already don't care about the moral truth of his actions. the children that watch his channel are the target audience here. he has an ethical responsibility to carefully consider what he shows to the public. he has a moral obligation to show these children how to be a good person and to educate them. or at the very least he has a duty to not model 'how to be human scum' for the kids on the other side of the screen. and yet, here he is, promoting an orientalist view of egypt. planting little seeds in their minds that (white) egyptology is cool and mysterious and fantastical. not to mention he has no historical or archaeological certification. he's showing these kids that it's okay for the most average of white americans (albeit very very rich but other than that still extremely average) to waltz into an egyptian burial ground and play make believe about solving mysteries and getting trapped in mazes and chased by the living dead despite having zero certification. even when the white people invading egyptian historical sites are literally trained historians and archeologists, they still exemplify white supremacist, orientalist notions about egypt. the problem isn't that mr beast's opinions about egypt will inevitably suck (well. it's a problem but given that he's a rich white man and literally mr beast, i'm treating that as a given and it's not what i'm gonna focus my thoughts on) no the problem here is that he's teaching children that it's okay to have said opinions. he's teaching white children to mistreat the nonwhite children around them and to grow up and continue to oppress egyptians in the exact way they saw their childhood idol do. he's teaching any egyptian children who watch him that white people will always devalue their history and their culture

[simcardiac-arrested]

ATTENTION: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS TREE? IF YOU HAVE, YOU MIGHT HAVE FALLEN INTO SOME SORT OF RIP IN THE FABRIC OF TIME

alt version because i also liek it :)

[axolartandfics]

TRANSFORMERS PRIME RANT

content warning: discussions of physical/psychological abuse

I’m going to try to write a rant but we’ll see how good I am at stringing my words together.

I love Transformers Prime with my whole heart, particularly Starscream, and despite and because of this, I don’t like the way his character plays out in season three.

After Starscream rejoins the decepticons at the end of season two, the abuse he receives from Megatron gets way worse. Megatron physically beat Starscream quite often in season one, and as season three progresses, this treatment is on full display and gets so much worse. And these abuse scenes are genuinely horrible and upsetting. Megatron physically dominates Starscream, who is much smaller and thinner, and the show spends a lot of time emphasizing his fear and screams as Megatron beats him.

Alongside Starscream’s abuse getting worse, he also gets significant Stockholm syndrome in season three, which makes the whole situation one thousand times ickier. While in season one Starscream tried to usurp and fight back against Megatron, now he looks up to the person who is actively and regularly beating him half to death.

But there’s nothing wrong with depicting a toxic character dynamic, it’s how the narrative frames it that matters.

Starscream gets treated worse by Megatron while thinking better of him as the show goes on. And the only people we get to see this ugly situation through the eyes of are Starscream and Megatron, who both think this is fine in one way or another.

We never get to see any other character acknowledge the abusive relationship. The autobots are totally oblivious or totally uncaring that it’s happening, and you can bet the other Decepticons aren’t going to do anything about it. Even after Megatron leaves behind his goal of oppression, he shows no regret of how he’d treated Starscream, the person who he had arguably made suffer the most. He just shouts at him and makes him flinch one last time then abandons him. He continues to mistreat him then leaves him behind. Leaves behind the person who he had physically and psychologically destroyed for thousands if not millions of years. Although I don’t expect Megatron to show sympathy for Starscream, since his ‘redemption’ was just him retiring and leaving everyone else to clean up the mess he made. (I have good and bad feelings on Megatron’s ending, but I don’t want to get too sidetracked)

What matters is, without Megatron acknowledging the horribleness of the situation, and without the autobots being aware of it, the only person who can acknowledge how toxic the situation was is Starscream.

But he doesn’t get this chance. His arc ends when the Predacons beat him up for revenge.

Starscream is an abuse victim, and he is never given a chance to heal. No character, himself included, ever fully acknowledges how problematic the situation is. He is never given a chance to be powerful. Over and over again he is forced to be weak and without agency. From the start of season three to the end of the movie, his character is a slow trickle into suffering more and more, being beaten down again and again until he doesn’t get back up.

When watching the show, I was fine with the amount of frightening abuse they were depicting on screen because I thought they would have some amount of healing from it. But it just gets worse and worse until the show ends and that’s it. It just feels like abuse for the sake of abuse at this point.

But the thing is, I’m not even opposed to Starscream having a bad ending. Let me explain.

I think it makes sense after him being conniving and evil and power hungry and cruel for his actions to catch up for him, and for him to be humbled in one way or another.

The thing is, they depicted Starscream’s fall to shame without ever giving him a moment of power. There’s no climax in season three where he takes control of his life again. There’s no moment where he gets to be more than humiliated and shamed.

Starscream is a victim, and he’s an abuser as well. He treats everyone around him horribly. He is a perpetuator of the cycle of abuse, where, after being abused by Megatron and others, he started to replicate their cruelty in order to have power.

The story needed to recognize him as both an abuser and a victim. It seemed to think these cancel out. That Starscream being beat by the Predacons in the end is the consequence of his abusive actions towards others coming back to haunt him. But just as a middle school bully doesn’t deserve to go home and be bullied by their sibling, an abuser does not deserve to be abused by another person. No one deserves to be abused.

Starscream being abused doesn’t pay for his crimes. And he isn’t just being humbled for treating the predacons badly; he’s being tortured.

As an abuser, Starscream deserved to see the consequences of his actions in some way, but as a victim, Starscream deserved any kind of moment of victory.

All this to say, this isn’t about wether or not Starscream deserved to be beat by the predacons (although I maintain that we should have better mindsets about paying for our crimes than “abusers deserve abuse”). This is about the fact that he deserved to see a shred of honor before his fall as well.

This is about the fact that as an abuse victim, he is given not a shred of dignity or an acknowledgment of his pain. His descent in season three isn’t even a character arc. There’s no growth, no resolution, no rising or falling climax. Like I said before, it’s just him suffering over and over, until the series ends.

Starscream is perhaps a good, although tragic, depiction of an abuser: a character who treats others poorly until it finally catches up to him. But he is a bad and problematic depiction of a victim: someone who never gets to be seen, even by himself.

[faunandfloraas]

Happy 2nd anniversary to the ever iconic "What do you even know."

[aronaax]

shaves clef bald.

Balto clef

omg he’s so cute 😍

[mossy-paws]

Get in the fucking biograft, Shuriken. (EVANGELION/PHIGHTING!)

(og screenshot’s/cover under text!) Why hello there to my tumblr followers, it’s been a awhile /silly

ANYWAYS!!! Guess who recently finished the EVA franchise minus the rebuilds and has been in a horrible chokehold over it, this anime ruined my life but hey at least its intro theme is nice……

Well, I wanted to draw some stuff for it! All together these pieces took exactly 48 hours and 20 minutes… with the cover-piece taking ~35(?) of those hours. These were… very, VERY time costly safe to say LOL,,, I am super, SUPER proud of how the cover came out though, everything on it was drawn, colored, rendered, edited, whatever, BY HAND stroke by stroke (as you can see below)

The text, the lineart, the shadows, the colors, the snowflakes on the bio and Shuri, EVERYTHING was done by hand, it was horribly time costly but it did come out very, VERY well in the end I would say (fun fact! I also didn’t originally have the textless version of the cover, and I had to trace all of the lineart for bio’s tophalf by just guessing what line when where and what the hell was going on /silly)

this was a very, very hard project to do all together, but it was also a really nice learning experience too, I’m happy i did it that’s for sure :3!

(og screenies + cover)

[stardustalien]

knowing misty is the ONLY one who couldn’t listen to coach scott scream in pain and yet the rest of them still treat her like she’s a complete monster or the craziest of them all in the adult timeline? drives me crazy

[renmackree]

When Derek buried Laura, I bet he didn't wear gloves. I bet he let the earth and dirt cover his bare hands and when he planted the Wölfsbane, I bet he let it crack his skin.

I bet his fingers bled from touching the plant - rashes, blisters, irritation, pain. Every little poisonous barb sinking in as he carefully braided it into the rope that marked the spiral. The revenge spiral. The spiral that said he would avenge his sister in every way he could.

Including his own suffering.

[deoidesign]

drawing my favorite sculpture but it's my guy

(Barberini Faun)

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I feel like if Killer were to flirt. It would be something weird to say to someone. Like “Can I hollow out your insides and live inside you?”

Killer Sans? More like….Freaky Sans.

[lesbianoms]

I really don’t like how a lot of the vore I’ve seen is women suffering. Makes me mad. How about women thriving?

Normalize passionate, hedonistic and loving f/f vore drawn by sapphics instead of straight men drawing women dying in the most graphic way imaginable