#my discord knows this has been a roller coaster

[fox-fic-and-ink]

Well, this is awkward.

I'm getting divorced.

It's far too much crazy shit to put in a Tumblr post so you'll have to wait until I've written my story and sold it as the dark millennial comedy movie I didn't know I was starring in to get all the utterly ridiculous details. But, long story made short, it has come to light that my husband of 12 years (dated 5 years prior) has been lying to me since before we started dating and has been cheating on me emotionally and physically for "probably about a year" (as best he could 'remember'. And even then the admission only came when threatened to be expelled from the mutual friend's house where he's couch surfing if he wouldn't answer my questions about just how badly he betrayed me throughout our marriage).

Needless to say, it fucking sucks on many, many levels to have the person you loved, financially and emotionally supported, and suffered absurd amounts of abuse and neglect from- for over a decade!- to tell you that things were actually somehow worse than you thought they were. But when you think you love someone for SEVENTEEN YEARS, you allow them a surprisingly high amount of excuses and liberties

And his timing is impeccable. He's chosen to break my heart and jump ship while I have no job and almost no income after months of recovering from COVID-related health issues. After much tearful arguing, I have at least convinced him he owes me the house he never paid for and he has forfeited his keys (legal finalization paperwork to follow) but I cannot pay for the house alone until it sells.

So here I am- utterly exhausted and still a little shaky with rage- awkwardly asking people on the internet to be kinder than the man I just wasted 17 years of my life on. *Gestures to the below*

https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8NwQS8x8pJ

I'm just trying to keep the house long enough to finish minimum repairs and sell it so I can start again. Literally any donation is helpful and if you consider it, please act sooner rather than later because I literally have no family that can support me in this and my only irl friends are already struggling to get by.

And if you know a sugar daddy/mommy or nonbinary sucrose guardian who wants a gal with some fresh abandonment issues...*sad finger guns*

[oddinary4bts]

Chasing Cars | ch 4.5 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: explicit content: mentions of jerking off and of fingering/cum play

☆word count: 852

☆a/n: please enjoyyyy this one made me v soft

☆join the discord server here!

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Campus is encased in ice, frozen on the spot in a magical way. Jungkook has been admiring it as you walk together, and he wonders where the magic of the moment truly lies. Is it in the ice coating everything, or in your presence next to him?

He pushes the thought away, trying to focus on what you’re saying.

“And then I was sick the whole night,” you say, retelling him a story of the first - and last - time you drank vodka.

He laughs. “You’re not supposed to drink a whole bottle to yourself, you know that?”

You glare at him, your eyes narrowed. “No way,” you let out. “I would have never guessed that.”

He grins at your sass, teasingly nudging you with his elbow. You shriek, almost slipping on a patch of ice, but he’s quick to grab your arm, steadying you. You look up, startled, your eyes going wide as you meet Jungkook’s gaze.

His heart picks up in his chest as blush creeps on your cheeks, and he’s struck thinking you truly are the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He can hardly believe last night happened - you’re too pure to have partaken in the action that unfolded in your bedroom, like maybe he stained you. And he wouldn’t be surprised if he did. His heart clenches in his chest at the thought, and he lets go of you.

“You okay?” he asks, gulping.

You nod, taking a deep breath as you look away from him. “Yeah. You?”

Jungkook chuckles. “How could I not be, when I’ve got you by my side?”

He immediately cringes at the words, at the truth they hold, and his thoughts slide to Taehyung. What would Taehyung say if he heard what Jungkook said? If he knew the kind of things Jungkook thinks about you?

You roll your eyes, looking up to the sky as if searching for salvation. “You’re annoying, you know that, right?”

“You love it, peach,” Jungkook teases, trying to ignore the way his heart warms in his chest.

It’s been doing that on and off since yesterday, since he kissed you like you were the last two people on Earth. He hates it, hates the roller coasters that it’s been taking him on. It makes him feel vulnerable, and it’s not a feeling he enjoys at all.

Not when it brings back a share of insecurity he thought he’d gotten rid of when he started college.

You make a noncommittal sound, and then lead Jungkook towards the library building, though you both have no intention to go in. Jungkook follows you, listening to you as you start talking about a class you hate - biochemistry? - and he laughs when you tell him how the professor barely speaks English to begin with.

“I have a professor like that in econ too,” he admits. “I’m sure she is incredibly intelligent, but it’s so hard to actually understand what she’s saying that I feel like we’re never talking about the same thing.”

“Right!” you exclaim. “It’s annoying. Like we’re a good college, they could at least make sure the professors speak decent English.”

Jungkook agrees, but he doesn’t say anything. Indeed, his attention is elsewhere. He notices your friend in the distance, the shy one, and his lungs freeze for a second before he grabs your arm, pulling you in the other direction.

“What are you doing?” you let out, sounding slightly offended.

“I’m hungry,” Jungkook states, offering you a lopsided grin that he hopes serves as a good enough distraction. “Want to go home and grab something to eat?”

You frown for a few seconds, looking up at the sky. The clouds have been slowly dispersing, and blue peeks from behind them, revealing that the sun has started its descent towards the horizon.

“You’re always hungry,” you reply, letting out an annoyed huff.

“And what about it?”

You laugh at his words, and Jungkook grins, his heart skipping a beat in his chest yet again.

Taehyung, he reminds himself. 

He desperately needs to get a grip of himself before things get out of hand. Though, he reckons they’ve gotten out of hand already. They’ve gotten out of hand when he jerked off under your watchful gaze yesterday night, fingering you with his cum after. They got out of hand even before that, when he decided to kiss you and pull you on his lap until all the thoughts he’d been trying to ignore since the beginning of the semester last year came forth, screaming in his head until he couldn’t ignore their existence anymore.

He sighs, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants as you walk, if only so that he doesn’t reach to grab your hand. He’s like a kid next to you, like a dumb teenager who’s never seen a girl before. 

He hates it, almost as much as he loves the excitement that it brings. It’s all too confusing, but he figures that, as long as the power outage is still going strong, he can pretend that it doesn’t matter.

Reality is bound to hit again soon anyway.

Read chapter four here!

☆☆☆☆☆

hope you guys enjoyeddd!! jungkook is such a mess lmao :') let me know what you think!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.

[missmaywemeetagain]

Pink Scarf - PART 17 (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: kinda

(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)

Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years.  [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: SEXXX. Verbal Abuse. Assault, both sexual and physical. Blood. Violence. ANGST. Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.  

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact)        ||     Word Count: 10k

A/N: PREPARE YOURSELVES, cuz this is an INTENSE roller coaster ride, y'all. Also, PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. I'm not gonna say much else, other than this is a beast and I cannot wait to hear the unhinged responses after. And thank you for your patience!

As always, to all my babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments you've given me have been a blessing beyond expression. You all are the best community a writer could ask for! Thank you so much for your support. I am loving getting to know y'all better! I love every single reaction and comment and ask, and I'm sorry if I don't get back to them all as soon as I'd like but know that I love you all and am so excited to be making new friends! And a big "Hey, Y'all!" to our friends from Elvis Twitter, Elvis Discord, and Elvis Instagram--I see and appreciate you coming over to join us! 👀💋

If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks)! I think I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues or if I missed anyone. There seem to be some issues with tagging that I can't seem to fix, so please know I'm not leaving you out intentionally! Also, if you comment on a previous part that you want to be tagged, I might not always see it, so feel free to message me if I miss you!

I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat! 

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch. 

(I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my long-neglected AO3 account (which some of you already discovered!), so if you are so inclined, you can check it out over there!)

“You need me?” you question him, honestly taken aback by the sentiment, even though he has said it before. It’s just still so hard for you to believe that a man like this needs a woman like you. Running your fingers through the soft, damp hair at the nape of his neck, you look at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah, baby, I do. I really do,” Elvis says, wrapping his arms tight around you and pulling you close. His head buries in your neck, in your hair, breathing you in.

“Show me,” you whisper in his ear, surprised by your own boldness. But his declarations have you some kind of way and that coil is still like hot coals smoldering in your belly. You feel his body stiffen against you, knowing that he is even more stubborn than you and doesn’t want to give in to you just yet.

You run your hands over his exposed chest and under the deep V of the fabric, grazing over his nipple with your fingernails. He twitches and jumps under your touch, despite his efforts to stay neutral.

“I need you,” you breathe, pitching your voice up the slightest bit as you look into his eyes. And you do. You desperately need him, in every way. If you could crawl inside of him, you would. You need to believe his promises are true, that he will take care of you and be everything you need. You need him to show you.

This must read on your face, because he cannot seem to mask his response this time, his azure eyes widening and pupils dilating.

“Take care of me,” you say, your voice nearly a whine.

That’s the ticket. “Fuck, okay…yeah, let me take care of ya,” Elvis breathes in your mouth as his lips find yours, your sins forgotten for the moment, if not forgiven completely. His lips devour yours and your hands can’t get enough of him, starved from before when he had you tied up. They roam over his chest, wind around his neck and into his hair before scraping down his back and clawing at his waist.

Elvis pulls back for a moment and surveys the space in the room. You can see his wheels turning, then how his lips curve up in a smile as he figures out how he wants you. He leaves you hanging for a moment as he pulls a chair right in front of a huge, floor length mirror. Sitting in the chair, his legs spread wide, he beckons you to him.

“Come sit on my lap, baby,” he purrs at you, and you immediately obey, settling on one of his strong thighs and burying your head into that deliciously long neck of his. The salt of his sweat stains your lips. His strong scent surrounds you, magnifying your need for him. You suddenly feel very small in his arms in addition to that need. He seems to sense this, letting you first cuddle into him a bit before winding his large hand below your jaw and peppering kisses down your neck.

“Gonna be a good girl and do as I tell ya?” Elvis asks, his voice low and gravely as he grabs your chin.

You nod. He truly fucked the fight right out of you before, over there against the wall.

“That’s my girl. Now turn and face the mirror for me,” he says, guiding your hips to swivel in his lap. He pulls your dress up and over your waist, leaving you in your lacy panties. You feel a little self-conscious looking at yourself perched on his lap like this, your cheeks a flaming shade of red. You are very close to the mirror, too close. But you watch as your eyes go wide when he grabs your inner thighs, spreading them open with his large hands while sliding his strong thighs in between to keep yours apart.

The lacy fabric of your already-soaked underwear strains as he massages your legs from your knees to your hips. The groping shoots fire through you and you press back into his lap, encouraging him to continue. When he ghosts over your core, it steals your breath away, and you are so incredibly ready for whatever he has to give you.

“Let get these off,” he says, tapping your clit over your panties and causing you to jump with the sensation. Nearly frantic, you shuck them down and off with lightning speed, along with your heels. Elvis chuckles, spreading you open even further when you sit back in his lap. Your muscles strain with the stretch, but you don’t care.

“Be a good girl and put your feet up on the mirror for me,” he instructs, and albeit confused, you do as you’re told. “Nice and wide for me, honey. Yeah, just like that.” He scoots your hips down a bit as you adjust and cradles your upper body with his, his head resting over your shoulder, looking at you both in the mirror. You are completely exposed and utterly vulnerable before him once again.

“Now look at that,” he breathes almost reverently, “You’re stunning, in every way.” You both watch in the mirror as he runs his fingers down your face, your jaw, then over your body. You shiver in his lap, earning his famous lopsided smile in return.

Elvis gets more serious as his fingers reach your core. “But ain’t this the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen,” he whispers in your ear, running his pointer finger ever-so-lightly over your folds as you watch. The combination of sensation and the visual you are not used to seeing has you squirming in his lap, aching. He locks his other arm around your pelvis, pressing you against him and immobilizing you.

“Be good, baby. You promised,” he says in your ear, and you watch yourself nod furiously, stilling. He commences his lecture. “I wantcha to see what I see, baby. Look at how pretty and red you are for me like this, all slick and swollen and needy,” he says, watching intently, hungrily, as his finger grazes your lower lips, up one side and down the other. You whine and grip his arm for purchase, feeling like he is calling all the blood in your body to gather in your cunt. It feels heavy and pulsing, burning with need for him.

Elvis brushes up to your clit. “Hmm, one of my favorite little spots,” he hums, circling it softly, making you keen as you lean back into him. Then, obscenely, he uses his first two fingers to spread your lips apart. “Christ, baby, look at that,” he says, voice filled with lust and awe, “You’re fuckin’ weeping for me.”

Your eyes travel down to your exposed hole, and sure enough, you are literally dripping with arousal, both yours and his. It glistens as it gathers, a slow, eager little drop sliding out. You cannot stifle the low moan that escapes your lips at the erotic nature of this little show, your pussy buzzing with heat and want, on display for all to see.

Elvis senses you need more, and he lets your folds wrap around his long middle finger, dragging it up and down through your slick as you watch.

“Oh, god,” you sigh, thankful for the friction, your hips automatically rolling for him.

“Touch yourself, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll help you,” he says, moving your hand over your mound and guiding your fingers in slow circles over your clit before he returns to rubbing in between your slick lower lips. The wonderful combination makes your eyes flutter closed and your head fall back onto his shoulder.

“Nuh uh! Eyes open!” Elvis nudges you, and your eyes pop open. “I want you to watch yourself come, baby. I need you to see what I see.” He smiles, and it’s almost boyish in its mischievousness.

It’s not going to take much, considering how primed that coil was before you even sat down, and how strangely erotic this whole scene is. How it’s making you feel lightheaded and buzzy and hot all over. You begin to work your clit furiously, watching as Elvis runs his fingers over then through your sopping, swollen folds. When he dips one long finger, then another into your weeping hole while you watch, the string of curses that leaves your lips is utterly filthy.

Your senses are overloading, which you imagine was his intention. The sight of you swallowing his fingers so needily, so readily, your arousal shining, the wet suckling sound coming from your cunt as he expertly works his fingers in and out of you pushes you headlong to the edge. Coupled with this and your barrage on your clit, you hit your climax hard with a loud cry, pressing your heels into the mirror with such force, you’re afraid you might crack it.

“Look, look, look, baby,” he pants, forcing your focus back to him, back to what he’s doing to you. “Look at how you flutter around me!” He’s right; you watch, mesmerized as your hole clenches at his fingers through your orgasm, and fuck if that isn’t amazingly hot.

You whimper at the sight, shuddering and panting at the exertion. He chooses that moment to curl his fingers, pressing that special spot inside you that is only his, and another wave of pleasure shoots through you so strongly that you lose your breath. You crest the hill again, stars shooting through you, forgetting that you ever came here to break this off, to run away from him.

There is a wild, desperate look in your eyes that you’ve never seen before as you writhe against him in your ecstasy, keeping you fucking down onto his fingers even though you are sore from before. You can’t stop the waves that keep crashing over you, engulfing every inch of you as you watch it happen before your eyes.

And Elvis looks gorgeous, those blue eyes flashing with his magnetic sexual energy, his pouty lips open and pink and panting right along with you. He is hard again, his length pressing into your spine through his suit as you furiously roll on his fingers, and you can feel him begin to shudder underneath you. You know he gets off on watching and this is quite the show. You rock your hips more deliberately now, feeling the length of him slide between your ass cheeks, and he groans.

“Am I gonna make you come in your pants, E? Gonna make a mess for me?” you mewl seductively, wanting to push him over the edge, too. “You like watching me get off on your fingers, don’t you?”

“Jesus, baby, yes,” he moans, “but I need to watch you come again. Come with me, honey.”

You’re not sure you can. You are overstimulated and over stretched and near hysterical with pleasure. Your heart is thrumming so fast you can barely breathe.

“You can do it. I’ve got you. Let me take care of you, baby. Watch me take care of you,” he pants heavy in your ear, his eyes glassy, unable to take his eyes off your pussy. He moves his hips in tandem with yours now, then without warning, slides a third finger inside you.

Your eyes are glued to the mirror, seeing just how well you take him. You automatically adjust to him, and he works you as only he knows how. You work your clit and grit your teeth as you feel that coil poised to spring again.

“E-El-El-vis…F-f-fuckkk!” you cry breathlessly, coming completely undone around him again.

“Oh, fuck, honey…GodDAMN!” he groans into you simultaneously as he slams his hips up with a violent shudder that matches your own. You can feel the heat pulse under you, dampening the fabric of his suit.

But you continue to shake and shiver on top of him, your orgasm ripping through you, stealing everything you have left, draining every ounce of energy from your reserves, which isn’t much considering the insanity of the last 24 hours. You sense much too late that your body cannot keep up. Your heart is too fast, your breathing too labored, and your muscles too weak.

You shouldn’t be surprised, then, when your body goes limp, the blood drains from your head with a cold rush, and the world goes dim and then black.

*

“Y/n! Y/n! Jesus, Satnin, c-come on baby, w-w-wake up!” you hear Elvis’ panicked voice from far away, but you are so very tired and just want to sleep, thinking maybe it’s a dream.

…no, no! Oh, God, don’t—please don’t go. I-I lo…The faraway echo of long-ago words in this too familiar panicked voice fades away like a dream. You slip back into darkness.

It’s the piercing fear in his voice when he calls your name again that has you finally coming back into yourself. You blink a few times, willing the world to come back into focus, confused.

“O-oh, shit. Oh, t-thank God,” Elvis breathes. He is right above you, his eyes bright and flooded with fear, near tears.

“Wh—what happened?” you murmur, feeling buzzy and strange, and like things aren’t moving fast enough.

“You scared the shit outta me is w-what happened!” he looks down at you, now placed on the couch, his eyes quickly shifting from fear to anger. “You—you just fuckin’ collapsed!”

Your eyebrows furrow as you try to remember what happened. You’d come here to break up with him, to tell him you were leaving…then you argued. Then you fucked. The mirror.

Oh, god, had you passed out from coming too hard?

You start to giggle at that, uncontrollably.

“Baby, what the fuck? It’s not fuckin’ funny!” Elvis fumes, leaning over you.

That just makes you laugh more. “I came…s-so h-hard I p-passed out!” you hiccup out.

“That’s not normal!” he cries, throwing his hands up in the air.

Another peal of laughter at the absurdity of it rolls through you. He’s not wrong, but whatever is happening to you seems to be overpowering your sense of self-control.

“Are you on something?” he asks suddenly, grabbing your jaw to get you to focus. He looks over you carefully and then a flash of horror comes over him at what you assume is the thought that he’s somehow taken advantage of you.

“N-no, of course not,” you finally manage to get out. You are shivering now though, and suddenly freezing. “S-something’s not r-right,” you finally chatter out.

“No shit,” Elvis mumbles, eyes narrowed, obviously trying to figure out what’s wrong with you. “Baby, when was the last time you ate?” he asks.

You blink at that, trying to run through the last day in your mind, but all the days have been running together. You honestly don’t know.

“I-It’s been at least a day, I think,” you finally eek out. “Maybe l-longer?”

“’Maybe longer?’ Goddammit, y/n, you can’t just go without fuckin’ eating!” he yells, getting up from the couch and storming over to the phone at the other end of the room. You hear him ordering someone to bring food immediately as you attempt to sit up, but your dizziness has you lying back down quickly.

Yeah, well, maybe if I wasn’t in a constant swarm of emotional and physical upheaval for the last week, I would remember to eat, but who’s fault is that?

Elvis slams down the phone and paces back over to you. “When was the last time you slept, y/n?” he angrily asks now, his eyes a churning gray-blue, as he pulls your dress down modestly and throws one of his plush robes over you.

“Um, on the r-roof,” you get out.

“Christ, that was barely sleep,” he mumbles, obviously frustrated as he continues to pace the room. “You have to take better care of yourself, y/n!” he erupts.  

You recoil a bit but are touched by his anger, knowing it is fueled by concern. But you are also annoyed because it isn’t all your fault.

“Well, I’ve been a b-bit busy,” you manage.

“Not that fuckin’ busy!”

He’s not getting it. You shake your head, tears coming to your eyes.

“Th-this is part of the problem, E. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends, I’ve been so s-stressed, I don’t know which way is up…” you shiver out.

He halts. Your words must be sinking in because the blood drains from his face and you’re suddenly afraid he might pass out.

“This is because of me,” he finally says. The way he phrases it, you’re not sure if it’s a question or statement.

“It’s not—” you start, not wanting him to spiral more than he already is.

“Goddammit, you’ve been tellin’ me you’re strugglin’, and I been yammerin’ at you to trust me to take care of you and then I did the opposite. Shit,” he curses. “I’m so sorry, baby.” Elvis deflates onto the couch next to you and pulls you into his arms, kissing your forehead, your cheeks, your eyelids.

You are too tired to respond other than to brush the errant tear that runs down his cheek with your thumb. You wish you could see this sensitive side of him more often.

“Okay, here’s what’s gonna happen: I’m gonna get some food in ya, then I’m sending Jerry with you upstairs so you can rest—”

You open your mouth to argue.

“There’ll be none of that,” he hushes you. “There’s no way you’re doin’ the show tonight. And Jerry’ll get you woken up before we come up after the show, and everybody’ll be none the wiser.” He gives you a stern look.

There’s no point in fighting him or telling him how his plan could go wrong. You’re still confused exactly how things with Jack are going to be handled or if anything Elvis said while fucking your brains out earlier was going to come to fruition, but you’re not in the frame of mind to try and solve that this minute. So instead you just nod.

The food comes, somehow all of your favorites. He knows my favorite foods? runs through your mind, but you are too hungry to dwell on it. Then, as he instructed, you head upstairs with Jerry, who without judgement, sends you into Elvis’ suite to rest. You think your mind won’t possibly let you sleep, but between the food and your exhaustion, you drift off before your head hits the pillow.

*

Circle G Ranch, February 1967

You wake up early, your eyes blinking out the dull winter morning light streaming through the window. Well, it’s not early for normal standards, but in Elvis’ world, most haven’t even gone to bed yet, you think, looking at the clock. You being awake now is likely due to the fact you couldn’t keep up with the partying last night and had excused yourself much sooner than usual to go to bed.

It takes you a moment to realize where you are. Being at Elvis’ newly acquired ranch in Mississippi has been a welcome change of scenery yet is still a little disorienting. You are used to Memphis, and even occasionally California, but this place is new for you all.

Completely dissatisfied and not having any semblance of control with his career, Elvis recently decided that he wanted a place in the country, a place where they could all come to relax and ride the horses he’d bought for all the men and their wives. A place where they could work the land and have a little fun. And you wonder if he just wanted to feel a little normal for once, thinking that a ranch would do that for him, that it could give him the control he so desperately craved. That maybe it might bring him some of that happiness and zest for life that had been bled out of him for all these years, turning him into someone you barely recognized.

So, Circle G Ranch was purchased, and you’d all arrived to take in its splendor and fresh air. And it was working. Elvis seemed happier here than he’d been in a very long time, the sparkle beginning to return in those expressive eyes of his. And when Elvis was happy, everyone else was allowed to be happy too, theoretically.

You think maybe all that horseback riding and fresh air is part of the reason you were so tired last night. Turning over, you notice that Jack hasn’t come to bed. Your heart sinks, though out here in the middle of the country, it’s not like he can get in too much trouble. It’s just likely the guys are still awake.

Either way, there is an emptiness in your chest that misses your husband. Each time he leaves with Elvis, less of the man you knew returns. You are hoping that some leisure time on the ranch will help him, too. There is less temptation out here, and more opportunities for you two to spend time together.

Unfortunately, he has not been very receptive to that so far, opting to hang with the guys more than you. But considering that he has been drinking more, part of you is glad for it. If the last couple of years have shown you anything, it’s that Jack is a mean drunk, just like his father.

With that thought, you decide to get up instead of dwelling on things you cannot change. As you get dressed, you hear the door of the trailer slam.

“Jack? Is that you?”

“Who else would it be?” he replies belligerently. The tone of his voice tells you immediately all you need to know. Your heart speeds up as a warning discomfort blooms in your chest. You steel yourself before walking out into the living area.

“Morning, sweetie. Want me to make you some breakfast?” you ask in a light and easy voice. If nothing else, food might help sober him some.

Jack’s response is a grunt in the affirmative, and then he shoots you a glare, his brown eyes dull but cutting all the same. You have no idea what you may have done to upset him, but he is obviously not happy with you. The tightness in your chest increases and you force a smile, not wanting to set him off. If you act like everything is fine, he might forget what is bothering him. It happens that way sometimes and is generally the best-case scenario when he’s like this.

“Okay, I’ll get that started,” you smile, and he settles with a huff on the couch. Scurrying off to the kitchen, your smile falls and you get to cooking as quickly as possible. Steak and eggs, you think. That’s his favorite and will help clear his head.

Your mind races as you cook, trying to find a reason for his ire. You dissect every moment from the day and night before but cannot pinpoint anything in particular that you might have done to make him upset. This has you feeling uneasy, on eggshells. If you knew what you’d done, you could apologize and make up for it before things get out of hand, but it occurs to you that he might be too far gone for that anyway.

Lost in your thoughts, it takes until you smell the meat smoking to realize you may have cooked it too long. You are hoping he is too drunk to notice. With renewed focus, you plate your breakfasts and walk to the tiny table.

“Soup’s on, babe!” you say in a cheerful sing-song voice. Part of you cringes inside to hear yourself like this.

He grunts off the sofa and stumbles to the table, plopping down with a screech of the chair. You keep yourself from wincing at the sound, wanting to stay as sunny as possible as you begin to cut into the meat. You’re unable to keep from looking up at him to check his body language, his affect, as he begins shoveling eggs and toast into his mouth without so much as a word to you.

You pick at your own breakfast, your appetite low because you feel so on edge. You can sense the tension in the room and know better than to speak at this point.

“What the fuck is this?” Jack grumbles, throwing his knife and fork clattering onto the plate.

You look up quickly, your heartbeat skipping. He’s fuming now, his eyes bloodshot and narrowed at you, his scar an angry red with the flush on his cheeks. You don’t have time to piece together whatever has happened before he continues, his voice shaking low with anger.

“First, you embarrass me by taking off in the middle of everyone having a good time last night. Everybody asking, ‘What’s wrong with her, is she okay?’ blah, blah, blah,” he says with a mocking venom that sends a chill right down your spine. “And now you can’t even make me a decent breakfast. Can’t even get that right,” he growls, pounding on the table.

The table rattles and you start to shake a little, frozen to the spot. You realize that maybe Jack is more than just drunk, that maybe he took something on top of it that has him worse than usual.

“I…I’m sorry, I was just tired from all the activity yesterday, and I can make you a new—” you sputter out quickly, but still unable to move, trapped in his furious gaze.

“I don’t wanna hear your fuckin’ excuses, you stupid bitch!” he screams, exploding out of his seat, the chair toppling over behind him with a clatter. “What I want is a fuckin’ steak that’s not cooked to death!” he roars, then picks up his plate and hurls it over the table near your head. You barely have time to register what’s happening, leaning out of the way at the last second on pure instinct, and the plate careens into the wall behind you with a crash, sending food and ceramic flying everywhere.

Your brain misfires and your heart leaps to your throat, the terror in your veins pulsing through you so intensely that all you can do is turn and run. You have to escape because you don’t know what he’s gonna do, he’s never thrown anything at you before, and he’s yelled, yes, but not done anything to hurt you, and oh, god, you have to get out, get out, GET OUT.

You fly past Jack, his rage too consuming and his senses too dull to catch you as you go, and you are out the door of the trailer in a flash, not stopping to see if he’s following you. No, all you can think is you have to get away, you have to escape, and you fly through the rows of trailers housing the other men and their wives. Your heart slams against your ribcage, fueling your body forward as you sprint down the dirt road towards the barn in the distance. Your socks stick to the cold ground as you run but you don’t care—all you need is to get to the horses. You’re not sure why, but you just know that if you can get to the horses, you’ll be safe.

You run and run, only hearing the crash of the plate in your ear, feeling the splatter as it shatters behind you. Only hearing Jack’s screams, “You stupid bitch! You stupid bitch!” You don’t even register the tears burning down your cheeks as you finally reach the barn, flinging open the door with what little strength you have left and frantically looking in the stalls for the horse that Elvis gave you.

Moonbeam. You finally see her near the other end of the barn, her gray and white coloring standing out in the sea of darker equines. You skid to a stop in front of her. Knowingly, as if she can sense your distress and your need for her large, calming presence, she turns and pokes her head out of the stall, nuzzling your tear-stained face.

“Oh. Oh,” you gasp, completely out of breath from the exertion. You cling onto Moonbeam’s strong neck, her coat soft and warm under your shaking arms. Your chest heaves, desperately trying to take in air. If you could, you would jump right on Moonbeam’s back and ride as fast and as far as you can, but she is not saddled, and you have no idea how to get her ready.

The light tap on your shoulder sends you flailing into the stall door with a shriek.

He’s found me he’s found me he’s found me, is all that runs through your head, though if you were anywhere near logical, you’d know that Jack was in no state to chase you all the way to the barn.

“Hey! Hey, y/n, it’s okay! Honey, it’s just me!” You turn toward the warm, familiar voice and are met with concerned deep blue eyes, a far cry from Jack’s bloodshot and brown glaring ones.

“Oh,” is all you can manage to huff out as you look at Elvis, your muscles starting to burn and shake. Your heart is still beating too fast.

“Are you okay? What the hell happened?” Elvis says worriedly but gently, looking over you, seeming to sense how on edge you are. He goes to touch your shoulder, but you reflexively shirk backwards, knocking your elbow into the door with a thud. He quickly backs away a step, putting his hands up in a non-threatening way.

You suddenly slam into the present moment, realizing that you must look insane. Your hair is windblown, you are makeup-less with tears streaking down your face. It’s the dead of winter and you are without a coat or shoes, your socks dirty and torn and bloody from your sprint. You have food splattered down your left side, and you are gasping for air like you’re drowning.

“Y/n, I need you to tell me if you’re okay,” Elvis says, quiet and calm, as if talking to a spooked horse.

You glance over his shoulder, suddenly afraid that Jack could stumble through the barn door at any moment. Wide-eyed and frantic, you look back at Elvis. You realize he’s between you and the door and that gives you some comfort. Jack would have to get through Elvis to get to you, and while you know you’re not in your right mind, you are completely certain that Elvis wouldn’t let Jack hurt you.

With this relieving thought and your adrenaline beginning to wane, you suddenly feel extraordinarily tired as well as embarrassed that Elvis is seeing you like this. You realize he’s waiting for an answer, but you cannot speak. You don’t want to bother Elvis with any of this, so you nod your head, bobbing it up and down quickly.

Elvis tilts his head and looks at you perceptively. Of course you’re not okay, and Elvis reads it all over your face and appearance. You finally give up under his watchful gaze, shaking your head. It falls back against the door behind you, and you choke back a sob. Your exhausted body shakes with cold and the remnants of your fear, and you slide down the door, unable to support yourself any longer.

“Oh, shit, okay. Honey, it’s okay,” Elvis coos at you, stepping quickly to your side but not wanting to touch you and invade your space, lest you freak out again. Instead, he slides down the door with you, letting you lean into him for support. And you do. As you reach the cold, straw-covered ground, you lean your head onto his shoulder, his warmth radiating comfortingly into your side. You begin to shiver.

“Here, baby,” he says, taking off his thick coat and wrapping it around your shoulders. Immediately, you feel calmer, as the heat and his distinctly Elvis scent of musk and Old Spice, coupled with the woodsmoke from last night’s campfire surrounds you like a blanket.

You both sit in silence for a while as your body comes back down from the fear of Jack’s outburst. He’s yelled at you before, even called you names, but he’d never gotten so close to actually physically hurting you.

He must’ve been on something, you think. Jack would never hurt me.

I should’ve been more careful with the breakfast. I should’ve paid more attention. I should’ve stayed up last night with him. The thoughts run through your head, as though if you examine them enough, you can possibly avoid setting him off in the future.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elvis asks quietly, sensing the wheels turning in your head as only he can.

Humiliated, you shake your head vehemently. Elvis does not need to know the specifics of your marriage. He does not need to know of your failures.

But part of you wants to tell him he’s created a monster.

Without Elvis, Jack might never have gone into the bottle. Without Elvis, he wouldn’t be taking other shit that makes him fly off the handle at any moment. Without Elvis, without Elvis, without Elvis…

You are too exhausted for blame and anger right now, though, so you bury it instead. It is what it is.

Elvis doesn’t push you, though you can tell he wants to know everything. You can practically feel that he’s quelling some deep instinct to protect you, his muscles tensing and releasing, his jaw working. But maybe he begins to piece it all together himself because he remains quiet. You are safe now, and that’s what matters, right?

And perhaps it is your heightened emotions, but you suddenly crave the nearness of the man who used to be your best friend. The man that, for reasons you don’t entirely understand, time and circumstance somehow stole from you when you weren’t looking.

So you lean into him, into his strength and sensitivity and his unique power to draw you to him, even when part of you wants to blame him for everything. Even after all these years of confusing behavior and emotional distance, you can’t begin to imagine your world without Elvis Presley in it.

And now you sit here on the cold floor of a horse barn in the middle of the Mississippi countryside in the dead of winter, wondering how in the hell your life became this.

*

Jerry wakes you gently with a whisper and a poke on your shoulder but you startle anyway, pulled out of the dream violently with a gasp.

“Sorry, y/n, but everyone is on their way up soon. EP told me to wake you,” he says apologetically.

The room is dark, and you are still exhausted, but you are somewhat grateful to be pulled out of that dream-memory. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth and a sick feeling in your stomach. You can’t help but chastise yourself for letting Jack grovel the way he did after he’d sobered up that day, for how you forgave him so easily because it certainly was not the last time he went crazy like that on you.

“Thank you, Jerry. I’ll be right out,” you say blearily. You blink the sleep from your eyes and stagger into the bathroom to make yourself presentable.

Anger at Jack festers like an open wound, but the dream has also reminded you of your anger towards Elvis about all of it. That makes you feel uneasy, especially coupled with that nagging feeling that he is hiding something from you. You don’t want to feel angry at Elvis, but some of his actions over the years have contributed to your overall dissatisfaction with your life.

You didn’t fully realize until now how upset it had made you that he just stopped being your best friend one day. You still don’t understand all of it, though you feel like these unearthed memories are trying to get you there. But it doesn’t change the fact that both he and Jack abandoned you in different ways. And this pisses you off.

Fucking men, you think, touching up your makeup and straightening your dress. Your unease deepens when you realize you are going to face the group very soon and you have absolutely no idea what Elvis is going to do or even if he will do anything. Is he just going to pull you to his side and tell Jack to go fuck himself? Is he going to act like it never happened at all? You’re not sure which is worse.

Your stomach churns and you desperately need to talk to Elvis before he does something stupid. Panic rises, but you slam it back down, willing yourself to just be normal for the time being.

Be normal. What a laugh. As if any of this is remotely normal.

Steeling yourself, you head out to the living room just as people start walking through the door. Sandy finds you immediately, giving you a concerned and questioning look. You can’t tell if she’s surprised to see you or not, but you turn from her, still annoyed that she ratted you out (even if it was in an attempt to help you).

As the room fills and bustles, something is itching at you, poking at the corners of your mind. You think maybe it is paranoia. It feels as though Red keeps shooting knowing, snide looks your way. You can’t help but examine everyone around you, searching for signs that they know. You squirm in your skin, unable to get comfortable.

It doesn’t help that Jack slides in behind you when you aren’t looking, wrapping his arms around you a little too tight. He reeks of whiskey and cigar smoke so badly you choke. “Where you been, treasure?” Jack asks a little too pointedly, suspiciously, as if he knows something is up. Your heart plummets and you resist the urge to push him away but can’t help but try to worm your way out of his clutches as Elvis strolls in the room.

Elvis’ intense eyes find you immediately, and you watch his jaw clench as he keeps himself in check. You manage to slip out of Jack’s grasp and Elvis relaxes a bit, distracted by one of the guys. It seems like he doesn’t want to make a scene over the two of you in front of the group, which has you breathing a sigh of relief.

What doesn’t have you relieved is that Jack is once again all over you as everyone finds a seat. You feel trapped as the conversation begins to flow, wanting nothing more than to go hide in Elvis’ room, far away from the fumbling hands of your husband. His hands are heavy on you, creeping up your thigh, drawing circles on your shoulder with his fingertips. It used to be a comforting gesture, but now it feels possessive.

He knows. Maybe Red already told him, you panic. Your heart gallops in your chest and you try not to lose it.

No, don’t be an idiot. He wouldn’t be this quiet if he knew, right? Jack is a few drinks in at this point, and the more he drinks, the louder he generally gets. Though based on his hands, you think that he is feeling something else altogether.

You can feel Elvis’ jealous eyes bore on you as Jack touches you, but you are caught between a rock and a hard place. If you shirk your husband’s advances to obviously, it will seem strange and garner attention, but if you don’t, you fear Elvis will give you both away. And you aren’t ready for that, not before the two of you come up with a cohesive plan.

If you are going to leave Jack (no, when you leave Jack, you remind yourself), you certainly don’t want to do it in the middle of an afterparty with the whole gang listening in.

“I’m going to get something to drink,” you finally whisper, excusing yourself with a forced smile, needing to escape Jack’s clutches. “You need anything?” you ask.

“Oh, I need something alright,” Jack breathes sloppily in your ear, attempting to be seductive and failing. But it has an edge to it that worries you.

“You’re hilarious, babe,” you say as sweet as you can while standing to make your escape. Jack takes the moment to grope your ass and you can almost feel the wave of irritation coming off Elvis from across the room. “I’ll get you a drink,” you sputter out, sliding out of Jack’s grasp, shooting Elvis a quick, warning glance to not do anything stupid. Then you scurry away as fast as you can without seeming strange.

Instead of heading to the kitchen, you make a beeline for the bathroom, desperately needing a moment away from all the eyes you feel are on you tonight, wanting things from you that you cannot give.

Fucking men, you think again, closing the door behind you.

To your shock, it doesn’t close. Jack pushes in and your heart drops into your stomach. The look in his dark and muddled eyes bodes nothing good.

“Hey, treasure,” he slurs with that disturbing edge to his voice, grabbing your waist and pulling you in for a sloppy, whisky-tinged kiss. You try rather unsuccessfully to not cringe at the feel of his lips on yours.

Maybe he’s too drunk to notice, you hope.

“I thought you were going to get drinks,” Jack says suspiciously. He locks the door behind you, warning bells exploding in your brain for a multitude of reasons, one being Elvis breaking the door down, another being whatever Jack expects of you.

“I had to pee first, babe,” you say as evenly as possible, “Now get so I can!” You playfully swat him on the shoulder, as you’ve done a million times before in your life together, but this time is different. This time, Jack’s chocolate eyes blacken as he grabs your wrist.

Your breath catches, and your heart starts to speed up as Jack’s hand tightens. “Honey, you’re hurting me. Let go,” you whisper.

His dark eyes rake over your body with what you think is lust, but it is tainted with something frightening. “Oh, I think you came in here because you wanted something else,” he says, backing you into the vanity. “You know, some of the guys are saying that you’re stepping out on me. Can you believe that?” His head buries in your neck, his lips dragging roughly against your skin.

Fucking Red.

“W-What? That’s ridiculous,” you manage to eek out, trying to lean away from his touch, but there is nowhere for you to go. Your heart is in your throat, but before you can say anything else in your defense, he’s changing the subject.

“You’re wearing this scarf again?” Jack questions because it impedes his barrage of his mouth on your neck. He unties it and you watch the pink and black silk flutter to the floor.

“It goes with my outfit,” you reply. You attempt to push him away but get nowhere, his broad chest stubbornly immobile. “Seriously, Jack, I need to pee,” you whine now, hoping that will do the trick. Every nerve in your body is on alert as he kisses your skin, as he presses into you. You can feel the bulge in his pants growing, poking into your pelvis.

Every fiber of your being wants out of this enclosed space, a space that only a moment ago felt like a refuge but now feels like a prison. You don’t want this, and if Elvis finds out, there will be hell to pay. But Jack is too far gone to listen and too strong for you to move.

Jack picks you up easily and places you on the counter, his hands pushing the unyielding fabric of your dress up your thighs so he can spread them open and step between them. It feels cold—nothing like the warmth and passion you felt when Elvis did the same thing earlier.  

“I told ‘em, ‘Not my treasure. She knows her place. Besides, who else would want her anyway?’” he laughs cruelly, grinding into you. The words cut, as he intended, and you become fully aware that you are in trouble. Your stomach rolls, nausea consuming you.

“Jack, seriously, stop it. I don’t want to do this right now. You’re too drunk,” you protest, pushing your palms into his chest to try and put space between you.

But he seems to take your protests as being coy, or perhaps he just doesn’t care, and chuckles darkly into your neck. “Didn’t stop you from sucking my dick the other night.” He lathes his tongue against your collarbone, causing an icy shiver down your spine that he interprets as positive, smiling on your skin. His hands roam to your back and unzip your dress.

You squirm, but it only serves to assist in his attempt to undress you, his hands roughly pulling down your sleeves and bra straps.

He stops abruptly, to your relief. “What are those?” Jack asks, suddenly on edge, his tone changing completely. He pulls back from you and for that you are grateful but confused.

“What’s what?” you reply as he stares at your chest, his eyes narrowing, the lust being replaced fully by anger.  

Jack is on you in a flash, too fast for you to register what’s happening and then he’s yanking down the front of your dress, your bra, exposing your breast.

“Jesus Jack! What are you doing?!” you shriek, trying to pull away as he manhandles you, but you have nowhere to go.

“What the fuck are those?” He pulls you roughly off the counter and spins you around to the mirror, pointing to the series of purple welts on your breasts.

Oh, fuck.

“I…uh…I…,” you sputter incoherently. Your brain misfires, too panicked to think of anything clever or even anything at all. There’s no logical explanation for the dark bruises other than them being what they are. Your mind flashes back to the other night, how Elvis had claimed you, his pouty mouth suckling your skin roughly as he’d fucked you into oblivion on the couch.

You hadn’t even thought to cover them with makeup, since Jack hadn’t seen you naked in eons.

“You stupid fucking slut! Who are you screwing?!” Jack screams, ballistic, swinging you back around to face him.

You’ve never seen him this angry, his face and scar turning beet red, his eyes like daggers. But this reaction is rich coming from him, which triggers your own anger as much as your fear.

“Really, Jack? You barely come home and when you do you smell of cheap perfume, but me, I’m the slut?!” you yell back at him, your body shaking all over, as you pull up your bra and dress. You certainly hadn’t planned to do this here, now, but you’d known in your heart for days that this was coming.

The vein in his forehead pulses dangerously, and he looks like he truly wants to hurt you. He grabs your wrists painfully as you try and zip up your dress. You’ve never seen him look at you this way, even in his worst moments, and it send a shudder of fear through you. “You’re my goddamn wife! Nobody touches my wife!” he yells, his spit flying in your face, ignoring your reasoning completely, too far gone.

Then, he unlocks the door and yanks it open so hard it slams into the wall with a crash, and then pulls you into the hallway, dragging you behind him.

“Jack, stop. You’re hurting me!” you say, trying to wrench out of his iron grasp. “What’re you doing? This isn’t the place for this,” you hiss frantically, scared of what he might do or say next.

Jack manhandles you into the living area where people are conversing and laughing at someone’s jokes, and roughly pushes you into the middle of the room.

The laughter dies out quickly as all eyes turn towards you.

Your heart pounds in your chest and heat burns your cheeks. You are furious and scared and now embarrassed, the back of your dress undone in front of everyone. You watch as Sandy’s eyes widen, immediately gleaning what’s happening, and she starts to stand, but Jerry grabs her arm to stop her.

You rub at your raw wrists, but you don’t turn to look at Elvis, who is behind you. That would give it all away, and for now you at least have control over that.

“Who is it, huh? Who are you fucking? All of them?” Jack shouts at you in front of the group, pointing aimlessly at the men. There are confused and alarmed glances on most faces, though Sandy, Jerry, and Red all attempt to cover their knowledge with surprise. Some are better than others at concealing it, but Jack is too busy looking at you to see them.

“Hey, man, cool it,” Elvis says from behind you, trying to be nonchalant and deescalate the situation, but you can hear in his voice the effort it’s taking him to be calm.

Jack whirls you around roughly by the arm to face Elvis, as though he’s trying to shame you at court in front of the king. Elvis looks at you, unable to hide his concern and budding fury completely, and you shake your head the smallest amount, for only him to see, telling him to lay low and not give himself away. You may be fucked, but this can still be contained, at least until Jack has calmed down and not everyone is watching.

“This ain’t your problem, EP!” Jack yells. It’s as though the most obvious has escaped Jack’s rage-addled mind, since he’s not even considering Elvis when he’s the biggest threat of all.

But one doesn’t yell at Elvis. Not without repercussions.

“The hell it isn’t, not when you come in here drunk and hot like this, fixin’ to ruin everyone’s mood,” Elvis warns, standing slowly. He’s not yelling yet, but his eyes are starting to turn hard and dark. Elvis can be incredibly patient, but if his temper turns, it won’t be pretty. And he was already done with Jack before this wretched display. The tension in the room thickens to a heightened degree, leaving everyone on edge.

So hot with fear and embarrassment and anger, you think you might burst into flames right here. Your heart is thundering against your ribcage and you can barely breathe. Your legs itch to run, but you are surrounded by prying eyes, trapped between the two most important men in your life.

Jack is incensed, fuming, and not backing down. He’s gearing up for a fight, which is bad. His grip on your arm tightens and you can’t help but wince. You watch as Elvis takes a step towards you both and you shoot him a look to stay put.

“Jack, stop this,” you say as calmly as you can. “Let’s just take a breath and talk somewhere else and let the party go on.”

Jack’s chest heaves and he turns on you. “Shut the fuck up, you whore!” he snarls.

Then his fist brutally collides with your face.

Everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion after that. The pain is instant, radiating through your cheek and your jaw, up into your eye socket. The metal of his rings snag at the corner of your mouth and scrape your face. Shock and disbelief course through you as the air rushes out of your lungs and hot tears spring to your eyes. The momentum of his strike sends you careening to the floor, and you manage to throw your hands out to catch yourself just before you hit the carpet.

A stunned silence falls over the group.

He hit me. He fucking hit me, you think in disbelief, through the pain, through the ringing in your ears.Jack had never, ever laid a hand on you before. You reach your hand up to your face, and it comes away bright red, bloody, your lip split. You can’t hold back the choked, shaking sob that escapes your lips.

Everything explodes at once.

The roar that comes from Elvis is like nothing you’ve heard before. The anger he’d shown you is but a fraction of what you see now as he crosses the room, a menacing bull after a matador. He strides so quickly and fiercely with those long legs of his that Jack barely has time to register what is happening before Elvis punches him square in the jaw, then rapidly again right in the nose. You can hear the sickening break of it which turns your stomach. Or maybe it’s your own pain doing that, you’re not sure at this point.

Elvis doesn’t even say anything, so blacked out with rage that he can’t even speak. You watch from the floor as Jack stumbles back and his eyes widen in shock, then confusion.

“EP? What the—?” Jack starts to say, holding his nose as it starts to bleed down his face, but before he can get it out, Elvis has him by the throat. Those long fingers wrap around and begin to squeeze as Elvis walks Jack back into the wall. Shocked, you watch from the floor as Jack’s face begins to turn red and he begins to sputter, clawing at Elvis’ hand and arm. True fear begins to play over Jack’s features.

Suddenly, the guys are all yelling and rushing around you. Sandy’s hands yank you up and back out of the fray, and you feel dizzy, swaying on your feet. You’re not sure how, but she manages to get you on the couch, zipping up your dress in a flash, and then examines your injuries.

“Are you okay? Y/n, are you okay?” she asks frantically, but with the commotion in the room and the fuzzy white noise in your head, she feels a million miles away. Your eyes are locked on the insane sight in front of you, freezing you with shock.

The guys are desperately trying to pull Elvis off Jack, but his hand is like a vise around Jack’s throat. He’s strangling him, truly choking him because you can see Jack’s face start to go purple and his eyes begin to roll back.

Three of the guys are on Elvis’ back now while Red chops at his arms, trying to break his hold on Jack’s throat unsuccessfully.

Oh my god, if Elvis kills him, I’ll lose them both and it’ll be all my fault, you realize.

You rise to your feet, ignoring Sandy’s protests, ignoring the dizziness and throbbing in your head, and you somehow, through pure will, push yourself through the throng of men to Elvis’ side.

“Elvis! Elvis, you have to stop this,” you say firmly, staring into his beautiful, terrifying face. His eyes are black and unyielding, almost unrecognizable. His jaw is so clenched in his murderous fury that you think he’ll crack his teeth. You’re not even sure if he can hear you because he doesn’t give any indication that he can, but you have to get him to stop.

“Baby, you can’t do this. You’re killing him. You can’t kill him. Satnin, I can’t lose you and if you do this, we’ll both be lost,” you murmur, pleading in his ear for only him to hear, hoping against hope it gets through to him.

You watch Elvis blink a few times, as if waking briefly from his trance, his shoulders relaxing just enough that when Red slams down on his arms again, they give way. Jerry pulls you backwards with a yelp, as Jack coughs, sucking in deep, rattling breaths as he slumps down the wall.

You do not go to him.

Elvis’ lapse in rage is short lived, for he sees Red and turns on him quickly with another roar, throwing brutal punches. You see on Red’s face that he knows exactly why Elvis is coming for him. A few punches land hard, and you hear more of the crack of flesh on flesh. You can’t help but smile a little inside at Red getting what’s coming to him, but horrified at yourself, you push that thought right out of your brain.

But there is a reason Red is Elvis’ bodyguard. He’s tough and scrappy and much more prepared for a fight than Jack was. You can see he doesn’t want to hurt Elvis but blocks and dodges some of his punches more readily. Four of the Mafia surround Elvis now, grabbing his arms, his waist, holding him back from Red, holding him down.

Elvis struggles against them and lets out one last terrifying primal cry before they get him subdued, pushing him to his knees. His chest heaves as they continue to hold his arms, his chin lowered, those lethal blue eyes peering out from under the black hair falling in his face. They still home in on Jack and Red, who are licking their wounds at the other end of the living room.

Adrenaline courses through you, your heart threatening to pound through your ribs, the blood rushing in your ears, as you watch four men have to hold down the man you love to keep him from killing the men that hurt you. And you aren’t entirely sure how to feel about that. A small part of you is frightened by this side of Elvis, how he is gone so deep into his rage that the man you know is barely there at all. And you can’t help but feel responsible for this turn in him.

But another part of you feels vindicated and relieved and almost proud of his defense of you. Part of you swells with so much love for him that you want to fall to your knees and kiss him as if your life depended on it.

“You sonofabitch. You fucking wife-stealing asshole,” Jack rasps out bitterly at Elvis, cowering on the floor with Red and a couple of the other men surrounding him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” some of the guys cry, having to hold Elvis back from going ballistic again. His glare at Jack is so fierce, you think the look alone might kill him from across the room.

But you don’t stop to find out because you wrench out of Jerry’s grasp and somehow make it over to Jack before your brain catches up with your body. You don’t even have time to think twice before your hand pulls back and slaps open-handed across Jack’s cheek, the smack reverberating in your ears and stinging through your hand and up your arm.

But you don’t care.

Silence falls over the room once more. Jack stares up at you wide-eyed, with shocked indignation.

“Shut the fuck up, Jack,” you seethe, now fully infuriated that the man you once loved had hurt you so badly, in so many ways. “You lost me a long time ago, and Elvis had nothing to do with it, you cheating, lying, drunken bastard!” You lean over into his face, your voice low and biting, “And don’t you ever, ever, lay your hands on me again, or next time I won’t stop him from tearing you apart.”

You watch the mixture of surprise and contempt and fear play over Jack’s features for a moment before stepping back. You look back at Elvis and see his lip curl into a sly grin.

And then it all hits you at once. All your mistakes. Everyone staring at you in shock. Your dirty laundry aired out for all to see. The blood and pain bruising on your face, your head pounding, your vision hazy. The mortifying violence that has occurred in your name. Your lover almost murdering your husband.

Oh, god.

Suddenly, vertigo hits you hard and you are so dizzy that the room swims and sways in front of you. The bile rises so quickly that you don’t even have time to process what is happening before you are hurling your dinner onto the shag carpet.

Something is quite wrong, you realize. All your anger and doubts and regrets and love drain from you with a tingling coolness, and everything and everyone feels very far away, their cries muffled by the pain in your head. Then you fall into a dark oblivion, leaving the pain and consequences of your actions far, far behind, and you wonder fleetingly if it was all worth it.

Taglist:

@atombombbibunny @yesimwriting @uselessbutinteresting @mirandastuckinthe80s @dark-as-love

@domaniquessidehoe @im-lame-irl @allybrooke05 @hangmanswhore

@jazmin2211  @kvcssghbjbcd @coldonexx @dudinhahoff @whatstruthgottodowithit @tiredbuthappy  @amiets2  @saintmagx

@kvcssghbjbcd @butlersluvbot @babydollie43 @vainbimbo @meladollsims @wstelandbaby @dre6ming @normatural @ash-omalley @xcallmetaniax @galvz-42 @thejezebel @fullmetal-falcon @robinismywife @dre6ming @seaweedbrain00 @amiets2 @mslizziesblog @heisatroubleinapinksuit @calusussss @dont-feel-so-good-peter @rainydayz101 @pizzaisrelationshipgoals  

@liaaacantwrite @kittenlittle24 @kaitaesupremacy @butler-trouble @eliseinmemphis @russian-soft-bitch  @tattywood 

@sassanoe @re3kin @thella @suspiciousmidge @hiddlepiddlediddlewiddle @carolinesbookworld @juggernort @aesthetic-lyss @stitchattacks @donnamarie23 @ab4eva 

@fic-over-cannon @lacyluver

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[davidtennantgenderenvy]

As i approach the end of finals week, I’m taking a moment to reflect on all of the absolutely CRAZY things that have happened during my roller coaster of a sophomore year of college!

This is of course, going to go down in the history books as The David Tennant year. What started as a silly little reawakened special interest in my favorite actor has somehow opened doors for me that I never could have imagined. Writing a two hour video essay about this man is NOT how I thought I’d be spending last semester, but not only did it become one of the proudest creative projects of my entire life and connected me with so many amazing internet buddies, but it was also invaluable in helping me come to terms with my queerness and come out to my friends and family. Thanks to a silly little short about David’s BAFTA outfit, he KNOWS I EXIST NOW, which is still so wild. And finally, he inspired me to write my most ambitious piece of music to date, my 8 month labor of love Crowley’s Lament, which put to the test basically everything I’ve learned about music and performing and has been received so beautifully by you guys.

This year wasn’t all about him, though! I finally got to make my collegiate stage debut in my first opera, and Iolanthe ended up being the dream role I never knew I needed- an endearing and inspiring character that was such a fulfilling challenge for an actor and singer to play. I learned loads of challenging classical, musical theatre, and pop rock music this year, listened to a ton of new albums (Will Wood might be one of the most incredible musical discoveries of my life?), and learned a ton about music theory and history. One of my favorite classes this year was Film and TV music analysis, and I got to apply my knowledge by composing the score for one of my Discord mutuals’ short films! I turned 20 and on the same day got to perform in an original musical for my friend’s composition recital. I took part in my first ever crew assignment, had two of my pieces performed at Project 21 concerts (one with a full band!), and my original Fullmetal Alchemist song Even Into Hell was choreographed for a collaboration with the school of dance, which brought my piece to such gorgeous emotional life.

I’ve gotten closer to friends old and new, and just when I’d accepted that romance probably wasn’t in the cards for me any time soon, I met (well, started DM-ing), the most amazing person through the most unexpected set of circumstances (that honestly deserves its own video sometime in the future). My brilliant internet friend-turned-parter Merlin @elsinore-and-inverness has brought so much light and joy into my life, and I can honestly say I’m the happiest I’ve been in years.

Next stop, THE UK!!! I’m not only studying abroad on a once in a lifetime Shakespeare trip, seeing loads of West End shows AND performing at the Edinburgh Fringe, but I also get to meet my favorite London boy in person :)))) could NOT be more excited

[lovelykhaleesiii]

I have been going back and forth in posting this, but want to have a clean slate and a clear mind going forward.

this fandom if I am being honest (and from experience in many others) has been the most roller coaster ride. it has been wonderful and blossoming, yet also, toxic and disheartening…

my current state right now, I feel as though I have been shunned from the community from all corners. stranded alone, with only a few friends (I could count them on one hand) to talk to and to trust.

I have been incredibly disappointed in this fandom by people I had considered friends, people that I believed to be sincere and kind, but over time showed a very different and ugly side.

I am not going to sugar coat this topic anymore… and be warned, I will call you out if need be, from this point on. I always had hopes that as a community mostly dominated by adults, we would act more like it, but it seems not. then accountability is necessary, because this school yard behaviour is not it.

I work most of the time, I barely even have time for a social life on top of personal things… tumblr is not my priority. but when I log in on here, I do wish and intend for this to be a space where I can relax and enjoy myself, to be creative and write and share my ideas and stories. to interact with people, to bond over characters and stories that I don’t ever get the chance to in real life, because I barely meet people with similar interests.

this is meant to be my safe haven.

recently it has been quite the opposite…

I have been gaslit, bullied & ghosted/neglected. as someone who genuinely struggles to put herself out there, I have made attempts that I am thankful for yet hurt by the experiences. putting myself in discord chats only to leave in the matter of a few days…

I have said this before and I will say it again. If I ever say anything to you directly or indirectly, and it doesn’t sit right with you. I am open to talk privately about it. I am not perfect, in fact far from it. I have flaws as do we all. I can make mistakes, I am human. if the matter can be resolved, amazing, if not: I don’t expect to get along with EVERYONE on this hellsite. the block and unfollow options are there for a reason!!!

regardless, I understand everyone has their own personal lives and issues… believe me, I DO! I am a huge advocate for life > tumblr. you need a break, take the break. you want to go on hiatus, go on hiatus. you do not owe anyone in this fandom shit, as I have reminded myself as of late. In saying that, showing people common courtesy and decency is not by any means a stretch, it should be the bare minimum.

showing support to your fanfic authors/gif makers and creators is valid and ideal.

I have taken multiple breaks because the stress and exhaustion from my work and personal life has been a lot, that I am able to remove myself from a situation, to not allow anyone else to suffer my ordeal. your actions have repercussions, and you will be held accountable.

to wrap it all up, I will continue to write my little, silly stories, I will continue to read fics. However, I have of recent been so turned off by some of the people in this community, that if I’m being honest (which I also strongly advocate for, and believe I owe whoever read this that), I have no energy to interact with people that have crossed me and made me feel less of the person I am at this point in time. my friends who I respect and admire dearly, know who they are, I don’t need to tell them twice.

when I feel comfortable with this fandom, my interactions may change, but for now. I very much enjoy my small number of friends.

thank you to those who read this entire mouthful, I genuinely appreciate the small things and taking the time out of YOUR day to read and listen to little old me, says a lot.

please take care of yourselves, and I hope that we can create a better more wholesome fandom space.

love always, Hel 🤍

[s3rena-gal]

Hi Nestlings,

How are you today? 🩷 past week has been a roller coaster but things are starting to calm down, it looks like.

₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊

Today, I’m taking a break from mood boards, and instead gonna talk about me. More specifically, my autism and how it affects the gal lifestyle for me, as April has begun (aka, autism month). With this in mind, I would like to share some of my experiences as an autistic gal, and what the community can do better for us ❤️♾️

₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊

Ableism

I have dealt with my fair share of this as an autistic gal. Most of the time people come from a well meaning place, while others are just ignorant.

In this section of this post, I will provide some autism/ND alternatives to ableist things i have experienced in the gaijin gal community. (Wrong will be red, correct will be green)

“You are not a real gyaru if you don’t wear lashes, wigs, lots of makeup or many accessories.” VS. “Not everyone can handle wearing false lashes, a wig, accessories, or lots of makeup, as it can be overstimulating. While gyaru does have some rules, it is a lifestyle at the end of the day. People can adapt it to their own personal needs if they so choose.”

The organizers of a gal meet don’t have a backup plan for when something in the original plan falls thru, so they just hang around, leaving you anxious and overwhelmed. VS. if you know the organizers well enough, (i did not lol) you could let them know next time to have a plan B. Try to go with someone you know and trust, so you can endure the uncertainty together. (I tried my best w this one, I’m sorry if it sucks alskls)

Your accessories are bothering you; they’re so overstimulating! VS. I keep a lil baggie in my purse for my accessories so I can take them off throughout the day as I get overstimulated! It really helps a lot!

“In person gal meets are just way too loud and so exhausting!” VS. Look for a virtual meet! Join a gyaru discord server and ask to host one there! Or make your own!

₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊

I hoped this helped you! If not, I hoped you learned something. Being autistic and adjusting to your needs does not make you any less of a gyaru 🩷🩷

Our brains our wired differently, and I think that’s pretty neat!!

Stay sexy, every-gal!!

Xxx,

-Serena

[sysmedsaresexist]

Take a step back for a sec

Is syscourse something you're enjoying currently or are you self harming in a way by going into the tags knowing it will stress you out?

??? Dude

That's fucked up, and I hope you know that

Imagine walking into a stranger's inbox and suggesting to them that they are self harming. Anon, I get you're trying to look after people's health, and that's admirable -- but genuinely, that's not your job, and making it your problem is not only unhealthy for you, it's also uncomfortable for me. And if this is because I told people they're allowed to be angry, then it feels like you're conflating anger with self harm, which is exactly the problem I was talking about.

UwU🌸 But what do I know I'm just a syscourse obsessed sysmed.

A personal rant/vent under the cut

I don't handle stress well by being quiet about my feelings, I like to be loud and obvious and an open book about my thoughts. I made it to where I am today (I have never said how many followers I have, and I never will, but... guys... yes, hi, i love you all, and I consider myself to be very successful in my career and life) by just being me and yelling about things on MY blog.

This is how I've become healthier

I stopped caring so much about what everyone thinks and put myself first. What makes me happy? What is healthiest for me?

Spoiler: burying my emotions, not engaging in something I love, and giving up a productive outlet for my wildly fluctuating up and down emotions is not the answer

This was my first step to overcoming shame, and when this kind of talk started in SN, it ruined it for a LOT of people, both members and mods

What had been a mature, self moderated, active, vocal, and welcoming community suddenly turned on each other in an attempt to not be the "crazy one" that cared too much or got too involved, because suddenly everyone was afraid of being accused of self harming through something they genuinely enjoyed

I fall apart when I feel like I can't talk about things for fear of judgement, and I know I'm not the only one

Leaving SN and coming back to syscourse full force has made me happier than I've been in over a year. I'm sleeping better, I'm less anxious, I'm not scared to open tumblr or discord anymore, I can spend time with my partners without worrying about what's happening

I feel in control of my life and the things happening in my social vicinity, and it's left me more brain power to focus on my personal things-- work, family, etc

I'm back to laughing with people who understood what I was feeling, and joking about the things that stress me out, rather than trying to bury it all

I know this is going to shock you, but it's okay for something to be stressful and enjoyable at the same time

Video games, horror movies, puzzles, roller coasters-- all of these heighten stress levels in enjoyable, positive, healthy ways

Can it become maladaptive? Absolutely, but it's not your job to be going to strangers and asking this

Especially something as serious as self harm

Like, you're not just asking, "do you think maybe you'd benefit from a quick break before you post?"

You're full on overstepping personal boundaries when you put people in this position

There is literally zero reason to ask this question, in that way, with those words, unless you're projecting

Spin on it, friendo 👍

[sims-n-blurbs]

I'm gonna discuss some things about the inZOI content coming out - demo play though, build mode demos, and my own demo of the character creator - as well as some of my thoughts about some concerns I've seen folks mention from their own playthrough.

From a money perspective:

In the demos I have seen in both play mode and build mode, inZOI has features and content that EA has put into multiple packs. I'm sure if I went back and looked more in depth, I'd find more. In my run through, I noted ten (10) different EA packs that come as a base-game feature for inZOI.

Get to Work - interactable jobs, it isn't just a rabbit hole every time.

Seasons - there is rain, snow, and windy weather from the jump (and while I haven't seen the leaves change to signify fall in any demos, I'm guessing it'll eventually be built in)

High School - the pier carnival is built into inZOI's Bliss Bay, which is modeled after Santa Monica in California. And the roller coasters and rides are all interactable, with first-person POV so you can "ride the rides" with your zois.

City Living & For Rent - while I'm extremely peeved on my own that these two packs are so far apart in their release from EA anyways, inZOI is creating a city map from the jump, modeled after Seoul in South Korea. From what I can tell from build demos, we'll be able to build our own apartment buildings from the start as well, or edit ready-made buildings.

Smaller packs and kits that come as a base feature is Cool Kitchen, Chef Hustle (or whatever it's called), Bust the Dust, Laundry Day, and many furniture items from Dream Home Decorator (it looks like we'll already have some sectional sofa options).

From a live-mode perspective

I am in the inZOI discord, and I have read through the developer's notes and discussions with the inZOI audience. The developers and designers are taking feedback to heart and are doing a lot in terms of UI design and connectivity in the open world to give players an opportunity to really shape the world they choose to play in. My understanding is that the characters that you don't play will have more independence (comparable to sims neighborhood stories?) and how you have your zois interact with each other will affect the overall wellbeing of the city you manage.

For now, you are limited to choosing one city per family and being stuck there, I haven't seen any gameplay that allows your zoi family to "move out of city" or "move internationally," but that's not to say that the devs haven't thought of it. They could have limited features for creator demos to reduce strain on computers, stress on the game, etc.

It does look more immersive for folks who really care about gameplay and character storylines, I recommend you keep an eye out for gameplay demos (the ones I've been watching can be found here.)

From a build-mode perspective:

I am a builder at heart, I always have been. I really got into building back in the sims 3 and sim city 2, and the sims 4 has been great, for the most part. But I'd be lying if I said it's perfect, and the inZOI build mode looks really promising.

That said, I watched build videos from both a builder and non-builder to get both perspectives on the inZOI UI and build mode features. I am also an interior designer with the intent to get a masters degree in architecture, so I know how to use the tougher programs like AutoCAD, Revit, etc.

The influencer who was a build-centered content creator loved the UI of build mode in inZOI. She did mention some features that caused her to pause, like slightly floating doors off the foundation or deck planks that wouldn't perfectly match up. However, she did find easy workarounds to still create a beautiful test home.

The influencer who was more story-based content and less about building had a more difficult time with the build mode, and I can understand why. The build capabilities are more detailed and customizable, which became overwhelming for her as she tried to navigate some of the features. She did have a hard time placing roofing and bannisters for the space around stairwells, but she hoped the devs would see her feedback and make some changes to help with the additional challenges she had and ease of use for future players.

Features in build mode to note:

We start with four full wall heights and four half-wall heights. It is easy to change the walls with half-walls and vice versa, but to put a bannister you'll have to delete the wall first.

Stairs can be rotated in several ways, and we start off with several variations of ladders (jury is out on if we'll get spiral staircases at game release T_T)

Tons of landscaping items and also home decor items. TONS OF CLUTTER.

You can edit the world (to an extent). For editable buildings and lots, it splits into "edit lot" or "edit sidewalk," but I'm unsure how far the "sidewalk" portion will extend past whatever lot your zoi is going to.

I haven't seen features yet that will allow us to scale items or raise/lower them like with the Sims; however, we do get full customization of furniture finishes, fabrics, and you can even upload your own patterns and artwork to place in frames, create cushions, etc.

From the character creation perspective:

I downloaded the free demo that is up on Steam right now, but will disappear after the 26th. Even from the limited things you can do in it right now, the previews of what's to come are INCREDIBLE. I am someone who loves the Sims for its cartoonish style, but also really loves the immersive realistic style of Cyberpunk 2077. I believe that inZOI will scratch the itch of both games for folks like myself.

The customization capabilities of the face, ears, and body easily rival the sims (EA's eyelash update be damned). The skin texture, nail options, makeup features are all stunning examples of how inZOI is taking the challenges that EA refused to acknowledge for years and is making it a standard moving forward. And that's just the little things.

InZOI has incredible skin tone diversity, but the hair options are a bit lacking. I'm hoping that there will be more options at the release of the game, but I did notice that POC, particularly black folks, seemed limited in hairstyles to match the texture, weight, and depth that their hair has. (I saw a curly-ish shaved head, dreads, and "curly adjacent" as the three options closest to black hair, but it felt like they could have more)

The blush and blemish options were combined for now, so you could have blush with no or few blemishes like freckles, or blush with freckles all over the face. I would love to see these separated somehow and expanded slightly for a more personalized approach, but I understand for demo and release purposes why they would combine them.

Let's talk about the generative AI

I'm a bit confused about this feature, and here's why. While I am very opposed to AI, I did attempt to use the feature once while trying to create a plaid pattern for a skirt I was trying to customize for my zoi. However, the AI couldn't function, blaming it on my computer's processing power (or something adjacent? I'd need to go back to get a screen grab of the original message). This seemed a little absurd to me, as my computer can process much larger programs and files than the creator demo, without issue.

From other content creators I've seen, they haven't had much luck with it either. The AI is super rudimentary and clunky, with many folks are opting not to use it at all while in the character creation mode or in build mode. In my opinion, I think the AI will continue to be a bad feature until enough players use it that the AI can actually learn from requests the players make and improve. And if not enough players interact with it, then it will continue to be bad.

My hope when this game is released is that it can meet the expectations we all have had for the Sims 4 for the past couple of years, while also lighting a fire under EA to improve and stop using an otherwise good game as a cash cow for their own financial gain. The Sims 5 has the potential to match what inZOI is accomplishing now, so long as EA doesn't lose the fanbase they have left to inZOI. I think there is a place for both games to exist peacefully - I know realistic gameplay isn't everyone's cup of tea, and there will be folks who continue to play the Sims because it is an established franchise and meets their expectations. But if the release of inZOI is as promising as it appears, I will most likely step back from sims content until it meets my expectations for simulation games.

In regard to the weird fucking comments about people not trusting the game because it's a Korean dev company, I don't want you to play the game anyways if that's your attitude towards it. Those comments are so unnecessary and disgusting that you can stay away from the inZOI community. I don't even want to engage in conversation with you people personally, I'll just block anyone I see saying shit like that.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading all of this. I appreciate your time.

[firefly-of-frenstat]

Biathlon one shots

The past 3 months have been an emotional roller coaster for me. However, someone got me inspired and hooked me into biathlon after a long time. Thanks to Sturla Holm Lægreid, I got back after 4 years of nothing. He lit the flame and I am thankful for it. He has brought back the joy of biathlon for me along with many wonderful fans (@booksanxietyandsports ) here and on Discord (I think of @vacancy90, @pluimy and @hymnsandarias to name a few)

Here are the three OS I would like to share with you all (and you can be certain that you get more). They are collectively called Rose Bouquet for a good reason:

Forelsket: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44918599 - I have written this to the wonderful @pluimy as a gift for our small Secret Santa. Probably, my dearest biathlon fic as it was the first one. It helped me a lot to get comfortable in biathlon.

Hygge: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45272110 - A follow up just because I felt guilty for one thing in Forelsket.

Mareritt: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45466531 - The time I decided to go for a one shot collection. I would like to continue from here as Sturla had lit the fire of inspiration for me.

I hope you will like it as much as you do. Let me know how you liked it as it would me a lot to me.

[fullmetaldevil-blog]

2022 in a nutshell

A bit late to look back at last year but better late than never right?

(Note, slight suicidal warning)

If I had to sum it up I'd call it a roller-coaster to nowhere then straight to hell in a handbasket. For the most part it was business per usual dealing with the GP at work and coworkers trying the patience I don't have. That and doing a lot of home improvements trying to better the house for my aging folks. The normal stuff say for getting burned out a few times due to overworking. Lesson to be learned: rome wasn't built in a day nor should you try to do it all in one shot.

The fun really began in October when a lingering ache in my ankle wasn't going away no matter my attempts at keeping it in check. It ultimately resulted in a trip to urgent care and finding out that not only did I sprain the hell out of it, but I also have a free floating chunk of bone in the ankle as well. So we don't know what the story is about that given the location, but I still laugh at the doctor's reaction. Definitely got tossed back into a wheelchair for a minute until they got me a boot so I can walk again. Though lowkey kudos to the hospital for changing their wheelchair style cause I couldn't make a break for it like last time for which my sister could have killed me. (No sense of humor that girl lol)

Thanks to the injury I couldn't work for a month and a half which that was both maddening and infuriating. Thanks to some things, I got screwed out of pay and graced with a lovely pile of bills. The real fun was my mental health taking a nosedive thanks to stress, some mental issues, and family drama. I took a break to keep myself in check because contemplating and nearly attempting things is when I know I need help. Thankfully my mom and a few friends helped me get myself back in order and in a somewhat better head space. That and seeking mental help from services/suggestions offered by my health care provider. Depression is something I've been dealing with for years and you have your good days and your bad ones. I'm just thankful I have people I know and trust to get me out of the bad ones.

There's still things I am unwilling to go into full details about, but am hoping for a better year. 2022 just felt like 2020 part 2 and frankly I'm so done with it, but am gonna try to look on the bright side of things.

That being said, one of the things that has been lingering on my mind for the past few months is my Discord. I have a list of friends and conversations on there and am getting to the point of starting a clean slate. Not wiping everything but thinning out people or conversations. The main reason boils down to communication, or in some cases, lack thereof. 

I know I'm not the most chatty person in the world, while other times I can be, but sometimes I feel like I don't exist. Friendships are a two way street and lately it feels one sided with some. I know and understand that one person can't deal with every single person on their roster of contacts, but it doesn't take much to simply say hello from time to time. Even if it's a quick check up.

The grim reality for me is it leaves me feeling invisible and only needed when someone wants something. Nevermind simply checking in just to see if I'm still there. The negativity born from that doesn't help me one bit and leaves me bitter. I know I have insecurities when it comes to people simply because of the constant being used and tossed out for "a new model", being constantly backstabbed, being feared, or lastly being left behind. It's something I know I need to work on, but it is also the reason why I give people the 10 foot pole treatment to begin with. To protect myself from the negative thoughts of abandonment and feeling like I'm a ghost.

I get people come and go in life. I fully expect that and certainly have seen enough of it. I'm just at that point in my life where I say "you get what you see, nothing more nothing less. If you talk to me, great! If not, well, it was fun while it lasted and hope you have fun on your new endeavors." 

[timaxxo]

YOOO Guys, I'm still alive! It's been a long time I know, tho I have been really active on Twitch.

My life has been a huge roller coaster like no jokes. But I'm slowly trying to prepare everything so I can come back again. I have had a full time job and now I have a part time jobs so yeah, I have also been super depressed so finally after the long wait I have gotten some meds I can take.

I also opened up a RedBubble so don't forget to check that out! 

I was thinking of abandoning some social medias so I could focus on the others, as I have noticed that it get quite exhausting administrat around 10+ social media accounts, Discord server and everyday life XDD

I'm a mess with my art atm, but I'm getting back there! Otherwise Thank you so much for sticking around while I was gone for so long. Hope you follow me through my journey and have a great time!

Cya in the Next one Bya Byeeee!

━━━━━━━━▹☽ ☾◃━━━━━━━━

[angelseth]

Still I find you next to me.

Erik makes the most important question of their relationship so far. When:  August 16th, 2022 Notes: written on Discord with @erikdragon

Their nest was by far Erik's favorite spot in the whole mansion, also the only place he wouldn't let anyone else inside. Apart from Toothless, of course.

In the middle of what was once a great ballroom with the front wall and ceiling made of glass, there was the softest of mattresses. A king-sized and tall one, with no bed underneath. The black silken bed sheets contrasted with the pale skin of the man lying beside the dragon, both wrapped in cozy fluffy gray covers, limbs tangled into a comfortable mess after much rolling around. A black ball of fluff purred sound asleep by their feet and Erik watched a flock of birds flying over the sea in the distance, the steady heartbeat of the angel mixed with the sound of distant waves providing a soothing soundtrack to the picturesque moment. A smile sneaked its way to his lips when he felt the angel stir awake and Erik ran gentle fingers up the skin of his back, arm safely wrapped around him, keeping their chests pressed together with the angel on top of him. "Good morning, my love."

Emotional roller coasters had never taken a toll on Seth before his fall started. Feeling too much had never been a problem for him, and not it was not a problem per se, but it felt like his heart was too full of love, especially at a moment like this. Waking up had never been such a blissful moment as now. The warmth from Erik’s skin, in addition to the soft sunshine through the glass wall, got the Grigori stirring awake slowly.

“It’s still early,” his words came out as a sleepy mumble as he angel hid his face in the crock of Erik’s neck, letting out a happy sigh, moving his hand to rest right on top of Erik’s heart, “why are you awake already?” the voice still heavy with sleep even if Seth was not that tired anymore. It was that peaceful state of calm lasting a few minutes as soon as you woke up. Just before worry set deep into his bones, causing him to pull away enough to look at his lover, “Is everything okay?”

A sleepy Seth was one of his favorites, Erik has come to know. The smile on his lips widened at the complaint and he chuckled, playing with the unruly strands of his hair. "I was thinking, that's all" he said simply, offering a smile when the angel looked at him "Actually, I was wondering something, thought I'd check with you first" the dragon said conversationally, still caressing his back "Will you marry me, my love?"

The touch of those fingers in his hair served as well as the most effective relaxant Seth had ever known, and it helped a lot to stop his running thoughts and worries. His heartbeat steadied as his dragon assured him, he was merely thinking about something in particular, but little did he know that the next words would make his heart skip a few beats.

It was impossible for Seth to stay in that comfortable position as soon as the question reached his ears. With a speed that was probably not considered human, the Grigori sat up and looked at Erik with a shocked expression. While the thought had crossed the angel’s mind, he had imagined this question would be presented by either of them in the years to come, “Are you being serious?” was the only thing that came from Seth’s lips, still unsure if he was awake or still dreaming.

A month ago, Erik would have freaked out over the surprise, any reaction that wasn't an immediate yes would be enough to trigger some alarms in his head. Now, however, he was so certain of his choice that he just felt at peace. So, with a chuckle, the dragon sat up as well, facing him "Is that so surprising?" Was his answer. Then he figured he'd better elaborate.

"Well, I was just thinking about how months ago I gave you my heart, yeah, but lately I've come to realize just how deep is your hold into my being." He said, reaching out for his hand, gently playing with his fingers, as earnest eyes found blue ones. "Somehow, ever since I first saw you, you managed to capture my attention in a way nothing else ever did. You seemed so interesting and alluring and I think my heart recognized you as part of itself." His smile softened, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink "And yes, I hear how cheesy that sounds, but I don't really mind right now" the dragon chuckled "But then I gave you my heart, my most prized possession, but I don't think you realize everything else that came with it. Because you see, my love, you're not just the owner of my heart, you are also the sole owner of my thoughts every day, of my worries, my best laughs and my worst jokes. You have my attention, my appreciation, my trust and my devotion and I'd be lying if I said that the prospect of waking up beside you every day for the rest of my life didn't sound like the most soothing of thoughts." Erik took a deep breath, heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

"I love you, Seth, with everything I am." Erik pulled his hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles "I love every single spec of star dust that was once meshed together to create you." He smiled, not mentioning God or fate. Because it didn't matter how or why they were here, all that mattered was that they were "And I'd be honored if I was ever able to call you, my husband."

A pause as he watched the gears turn inside angel's head, a sure smile on the dragon's face "So, you know... Will you marry me, Seth?"

Being speechless was not something Seth was used to, even if Erik had accomplished putting him in that state more than once. Now, his lover had taken it to a whole new level as the Grigori sat there, looking at his dragon with a shocked expression, gapping, unsure of what to say, “It is not the question what caught me off guard,” his admission came in a whisper, “it is the timing and that you beat me to it,” a slow smile making its way to his lips.

With a nod and a squeeze of his fingers over Erik’s, Seth listened carefully, entranced by every word from his lover’s lips. At that moment, Seth was confident there had never been love as pure as theirs, and in a small part of his soul, he hoped this was the reason why he had been sent to earth. That loving someone and being loved like this was the goal of his whole mission and that perhaps, God had let them have this. It was impossible to tell when the tears started, but he could guess they probably shed the moment Erik mentioned the first time he saw him. The dragon probably had no idea how crucial that moment had been for the angel. How Seth’s whole world changed axis as their hands touched, and perhaps, he was being cheesy too, but it was how it had felt. There were no words that could match Erik’s speech. What could he say? How could he explain that in over a hundred years, Seth had never been happier than now Erik was part of his existence?

With trembling fingers, Seth wiped away the tears from his eyes and nodded eagerly, still unsure if there was anything he could say that could explain how his heart was about to burst out with happiness, “Yes, Erik, I will marry you,” and with no hesitation, he threw himself to his lover’s arms, hiding his face in his chest, holding him tight, engraving this moment in his mind and skin as the happiest of his now mundane life.

Erik chuckled at that, a warm bubbling in his chest at the idea that Seth was planning to propose. Or at least that he thought he'd do it before Erik had the chance to.

As if.

Erik never knew what being moderate was. He was intense and moved through life in bursts of passion, but he wasn't dumb. He followed his impulses, yes, but his mind worked in a tightly knit plan. The moment Seth's piece clicked into place; it was like he had always known. The dragon was worried when he saw the angel started crying, but he could see they were happy tears, so he let himself end before reaching out to wipe his tears away, the same way Seth had done to him the previous night. The thing was, he didn't get the chance to, because as he reached out, Seth all but tackled him back into bed and Erik laid back down right away, arms wrapped around Seth's waist. A bubbly laugh of pure joy escaped his lips at the answer he got, and Erik hugged his boyfriend, no, fiancé tightly. "Well, in that case, that was all, you can now go back to sleep, my love" he chuckled, biting back a smirk. This is why he carried his heart in his chest for, for moments like this. Now Erik understood when people talked about hearts swelling.

The laugh Seth got from his now fiancé was the most heartwarming sound he had ever heard, so pure and infectious that the Grigori started laughing too, “There is no way you expect me to go back to sleep after that, Erik,” his words softly murmured against the warm skin of his dragon’s neck, quickly followed by a soft kiss.

Reluctantly, the angel popped himself on his elbows on top of his lover, looking at him with pure adoration in his blue eyes, “you are unbelievable, Erik. Whenever I think there is no physical way I could love you more than I already do, you go outdo yourself with something like this,” the fake annoyance clear on Seth’s words, “Every second that brought me to this moment has been more than worth it now I know I get to share the rest of my days with you,” it probably sounded sad knowing Seth will not be immortal anymore, but in his heart, the angel knew he would always chose this than an eternity without Erik in his life. “Do you realize now we do not only have a birthday, a Halloween party but a wedding to plan?” his expression no short from pure happiness.

The dragon laughed at that, shrugging slightly "Welp, I had to try. Can't have my fiancé going around saying I am messing up his sleeping schedule, now, can I?" He teased with a proud smile when the word left his lips. It was like he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He was a smirky person, but this smile, the honest, true one, was Seth's. He reached out to run his fingers through the angel's hair, clicking his tongue "Yeah, damn, I just pushed myself into a corner, didn't I? Don't know how I'll outdo that now, maybe I'll buy us an island or something " he teased with a chuckle. The mention of the last of his days didn't bother Erik now, not when he knew there might be a way for Seth to be with him forever now with Trevor's help. So, he must bit back a knowing smirk and leaned up to kiss his lips lovingly - a very effective way for the dragon to shut himself up. The annoyed joke made him laugh though "Technically we could mash then all together, but I refuse to rush our wedding plans and make it in a month. Nope, I want to cherish this" he ran his fingers down Seth's cheek, fondly "Besides, a Halloween wedding would be weird as fuck. Can you imagine our best men in Halloween costumes? Or us?" He laughed "Specially when I have a tendency of being mostly naked with mine, I'm not giving them a show like that. Nope, that's for our honeymoon alone." Erik finished, a wondrous smile on his lips as he liked them.

“You have been messing with my sleeping schedule for over year in so many ways, Erik,” the words came out with a dash of playfulness and the blush on the Grigori’s face probably added to the meaning of his words. The offer of having an island for them would be more appealing if Seth hadn’t grown to love this little town so much. It had been the only real place where he had felt at home and where he had found purpose and love, “I do not believe we need an island when we can escape to our own little world here between the sheets,” Erik was probably aware of how their next was one of Seth’s favorite places in the world.

The prospect of having a Halloween wedding did not sound too appealing for Seth, “I would rather our wedding to happen in a different day if you are okay with it. I would like it to be a special day to be remembered just as our wedding and no more,” there was some nervousness on his voice at the request. The falling angel wasn’t used to voice his requests but this time he could not help himself. There was a light blush and a smile when his dragon reminded him of his love for being naked, “I would also prefer to keep that glorious nakedness for our honeymoon. I am not feeling keen on sharing my fiancé anymore,” the playfulness was more than clear when he leaned close to press their lips together making his intentions clear.

Erik chucked at that, an arched brow "Look at your being all sexy and coy" he teased, gently poking his ribs to make him blush "I really did corrupt you, huh? You're even making sex jokes! Who are you and what have you done with my sweet, sweet Seth?!" He was laughing now, one arm propped behind his head to lean closer to him.

It was silly, but his eyes were lazily burning that picture to memory, how the sunshine hit his brown hair, how it made Seth's freckles more evident, how bright his eyes were shining. He was marrying the most beautiful man in the planet, that much Erik was certain. "Our wedding should become a holiday in town, my love" He hugged Seth close "A special day just to celebrate us. To celebrate you." The dragon pressed a kiss to his forehead and a grin appeared on his lips when they pulled apart "Your fiancé, huh?" he echoed, pecking the angel's lips as he gently rolled them over so he could place a kiss down his neck "It sounds really nice, doesn't it? This is Seth, my fiancé" He mumbled against his skin "Oh no, I'm waiting for my fiancé. Ah yes, we have reservations for me and my fiancé."

It was impossible for Seth not to blush at his dragon’s words, “Yes, you did, but it was in the best possible way,” this time the Grigori did not feel like hiding the blush. He felt so happy and, in a way, free to feel the way he did and to love Erik openly. In a completely unexpected reaction, Seth rolled over to lay on top of Erik’s body, “I can be sweet and make sex jokes, but only for my fiancé,” the smile on the angel’s face was one of the brighter he ever had.

As marvelous as it sounded, Seth merely shook his head, “No, I would rather it be private. Ours,” the blush was still evident on his cheeks, “I have never been selfish, but there are things that I would like to have only for us,” it was a new feeling. Especially when it came to not feeling guilty for wanting things. It probably meant the Grigori was losing more and more of his grace and turning more human. “Yes! I am only trying the words and see how it feels,” and before he could say more, his lover was rolling them over, and the angel found himself under his dragon’s body, “It does. It is the best title I have ever had, so far,” his eyes falling closed at those kisses as his hands explored Erik’s back.

Erik didn't know what caught him more off guard, if it was Seth suddenly straddling him like that, if it was him taking about making sex jokes or if it was him calling Erik his fiancé. Oh, he loved that word.

With a smile on his face, Erik slid his hands over the angel's thighs "Fair enough. You get to be selfish too. You get to be anything you'd like, my love. Even mine" he grinned.

Once he was on top of Seth, he couldn't help himself, one arm propping him in place while the other caressed his leg, lips brushing against the delicate skin of his neck. "Just you wait for when it changes" he slid his lips towards his ear, whispering "When I get to call you my husband"

"But I am already your, ain't I?" There was a playful glean in his blue eyes, "being yours is everything I ever wanted, Erik. I think my life started for real when I met you," the Grigori confessed.

How could this be wrong? How could loving like this was the reason of his fall? It made no sense in his head. This was the happiest the angel ever felt, and God decided he didn't deserve it. The smile was back on his face when Erik rolled them over and laid on top of him, causing the eternal blush on his face to come back, "Husband sounds heavenly," his answer came out like a soft moan, "I love you," the angel sighed before cupping Erik's face to press their lips together in a deep kiss.

[trixtersurvs]

001.

How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember how much my prom outfit cost in hindsight. I went to prom last over a decade ago...

What dreams have stuck with you since childhood? I've always wanted to write a book and damn it, one day I will!

Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Yes

Did you ever take your dog to school? No

If you had had a baby in high school, what would you have named him or her? Ugh, probably something awful like Bella from Twilight because I was that kid

If you had a baby now, what would you name him or her? I don't ever want kids of my own so I don't think about stuff like this

Have you ever seen someone throw up on a plane? No

Do you get motion sickness? I've only had it once

Has God ever healed you of anything? If so, what? No, I don't even believe in "God"

What is the most boring church you have ever attended? The Catholic church is hands down the most boring place ever. Would rather watch old people play bingo

What is the most lively church you have ever attended? When I was in high school, a friend of mine tried to convert me by inviting me to a weekend long "music festival" that ended up being a Christian music camp type thing. It was 100% not my cup of tea but people were definitely very lively there

Do you find church fun or boring? Boring

What do you hate the most about summer? The heat. Quite frankly, I don't like much about summer to be honest with you

Which part of your body is the most muscular? Calves

Did you ever take Latin in school? No, they didn't offer it when I was still in high school

Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? New Year's

What is your favorite Japanese name? Souji

Have you ever ran a cash register? Yes

Did you collect Bratz dolls when you were younger? I didn't. Bratz came along a little too late for me

Do you think your mom is attractive? Of course

What was the last thing that disappointed you? My "bosses" (they told me to stop calling them that) being fucking awful to me

Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster? It's a love/hate relationship for me

Skeletons or scarecrows? Skeletons

Do you own pumpkin earrings? No

What computer game did you used to play all the time? The Sims 3

When was the last time you read a book? I think it was right before Christmas

Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any) I don't want kids but if I did have them, I wouldn't see a problem with this

What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at? Hm... I couldn't tell you honestly. I usually just go and hope for the best

Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Discord for sure

What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Drawing honestly. I could just never find my own style

Do you watch political shows? Not inherently political, no

Do you play any fantasy/roleplaying games? What? So many, I can't possibly list them all

Do you like salami? I love salami

When was the last time you ate meat? Like 20 minutes ago

What was the last hot drink you drank? Hot drink... hm... probably coffee whenever I got it last from my favorite coffee shop

Have your parents met your boyfriend/exes? Most of them, yes. They haven't met my current partner in person yet though

How about your boyfriend’s parents? Met them? No

Do you know how to say I love you in at least 4 languages? Yes

Do you find the sound of a cat’s purr relaxing? Yes

Do you know your mum’s first pet’s name? I don't think so... she has definitely told me before but I can't remember it

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, for what? No. I've seen how it can affect people and I don't think I could live like that. I'm also just way too sensitive

Would you ever get a heart tattoo or your back? I mean... sure?

What fruit can’t you stand? Kiwi, only because I'm allergic to it

Do you know anyone autistic? Yes, my partner is on the ASD spectrum

How about someone bipolar? Sure do

What do you consider private to you? Pretty much everything. I'm an extremely private person and I have a hard time opening up about anything other than surface level stuff

Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: Frankly, me

Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: Calculus

Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: Hand crafts like knitting, sewing, etc.

Name somebody who has tried to help you and ended up hurting you: Most of my ex-partners

Name a date that has a lot of significance to you: December 10

Name something in your life that was a blessing in disguise: My whole ass last relationship ending

Name something that you’ve done that would be considered rebellious: I snuck out once...

Name something you wish you had enough money to do: Travel the world

[kamichungus22]

So, I've been in my college for about 2 months now and to say that alot has happened, is an understatement. Like majorly!

As a summary, at the end of the second week of being there, a guy that I had only hung out with fully for one day and was in my class, contacted me on discord (we got each other's discords on the same day just to clarify) and confessed his 'feelings' to me!! Like, WHAT?!

I did reject him, but then a week (A WEEK) later, he then confessed his 'feelings' again, except this time he did it to my friend! They rejected him too. And then I found out literally earlier this week, that the same guy then confessed his 'feelings' AGAIN about another girl in our class to his friend, who then told the girl! I think she rejected him too, but I don't know but it's very likely that she did.

To say that I think his feelings are genuine and true, would be the biggest lie I had ever told!

Then my mental health went on a major roller coaster, which has ended with me planning to attend drop in mental health sessions with my college and having a mental health app. I've even made alarms on my phone (which I never do) so that I won't forget to check in with the app, do my breathing exercises, record my daily mood and, to not forget to go to the drop in sessions.

I've also been helping out my friends and their issues, and how we promised as a trio, to keep looking out for eachother and to be honest about how we've been feeling and all that.

The only thing that's seemed stable now that I've been at college, is college! My grades have been good, my teachers are nice, and my classmates... not so much, but that's to be expected.

But yea, a lot has happened in the past two months. A lot.

[jokertrap-ran]

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(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Charlie’s MC Birthday 2022 Facetime Call: Moment of Romance [浪漫瞬间] Translation

*Light and Night Masterlist | Charlie’s Personal Masterlist *Click “keep reading” to access video on website (works fine on mobile) *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *Charlie’s tag will be #For Night, For Paradox

❖☆————— ⊹ For Night, For Paradox⊹ —————★❖

Charlie: Have you been waiting for my call, my dear Fiancée?

Charlie: Of course, I wouldn’t forget just what day it is today.

Charlie: Shine as brightly as the stars above I may, but today’s the birthday of my dearest Fiancée— whom I love deeply.

Charlie: We’ve known each other for so long, yet I still practised this many times in a row in preparation for this special day.

Charlie: I’m making it sound too ceremonious? But, my dear Fiancée, it’s your birthday today.

Charlie: All that is beautiful in this world should unquestionably belong to you.

Charlie: Your face is red. Does that mean you’re moved? Or are you embarrassed?

Charlie: I know that you’re not drunk, of course, because I’ve already engraved how you look when you’re drunk into my mind.

Charlie: And how do I look when I’m drunk? You can wait till nighttime if you want to see how I get.

Charlie: That would be when the atmosphere is prime. With us two alone, nothing can go wrong…

Charlie: But, we do have other things to tend to before night falls.

Charlie: That’s right, I’ve made many preparations for today. In fact, I’m also a little troubled.

Charlie: It’s not that I don’t have any ideas on what to do, but the fact that I have way too many. As our relationship only serves to grow deeper, a steady stream of new ideas will only be borne out of it.

Charlie: And based on the progression of our ever-growing relationship, it’s hard to place the more bare-boned ideas.

Charlie: But thankfully, you do have a Fiancé who never fails to surprise.

Charlie: I’ve prepared a list of 5200 activities for you to choose from. You can take your time to select something from it today.

Charlie: We can go to the Movie Park and ride the roller coaster, or we can also go to a tropical island to water and nurture the tree of our love.

Charlie: The most important thing is how you want to spend the day today.

Charlie: Now, all you have to do is to think about the things you’ll enjoy doing.

Charlie: As my Fiancée, you ought to have most of the wonderful things that the world has to offer.

Charlie: Whether it be champagne, roses, or gifts, none of them should be anything to make a fuss about.

Charlie: And what I can do here is to help you fulfil all the romances you may have.

Charlie: Happy birthday, my dear Fiancée.

Charlie: Your birth must definitely be one of the most romantic moments to ever grace the earth.

[silvysartfulness]

Chapter 43  - Descending Into The World of Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It is up! :D

It felt good to walk, traverse the roads of the world again, and the sunlight and birdsong and rich smell of green living things made him want to smile.

As did, apparently, Xue Yang.

Xiao Xingchen found himself laughing yet again at another clever, perfectly inappropriate pun, shaking his head in scolding but unable to keep from smiling all the same.

It didn't feel like talking to an enemy, or even like getting to know a stranger. It felt like laughing with a dear old friend, his heart thrumming with a profound fondness he had suspected might be there even in his moments of firmest denial, and could only helplessly admit to now.

“...-stabbed one of his precious potatoes! You should have seen the look on his face! Suddenly he was feeling very generous, wanted to donate a whole basketful of produce to the good Daozhang who was keeping Yi City so safe! And you were grinning - wider with each potato he put in. Never could figure out if you knew what I was doing, or if you were just happy with the grocer's sudden spree of charity.”

“I'm sure I would never,” Xiao Xingchen primly stated, though his lips twitched unconsciously at the thought. “I do remember... Many people would take advantage of my blindness, during the long years that I wandered alone. They would sell me poor wares, or return the wrong change - I know that bitterness is a corrosive emotion, self-damaging and unbecoming, but sometimes... It was hard not to be saddened. It must have felt good, finally having someone at my side, ready to stand up for me when I couldn't.”

---------------

New chapter up - this one’s quite the roller-coaster, I’ve been told! By several different people. Crying people. ♥

Several twists and turns unraveling all at once as it goes, likely leaving both characters and readers with more questions they had going in! I do really hope you like it, and that I’ve set everything up carefully enough for this to have the impact I’ve aimed for!

As always your reactions - comments, replies, tags, asks - are the literal fuel that keeps me going, helps keep me motivated and inspired to write this beast! And if you want to yell at me in person, do feel free to come over to the Silvy’s Haven discord server and do so! ♥