#my dad's gonna fucking yell at me for this
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Nothing Lasts Forever - JJ's Arrest
ᥫ᭡ link to nothing lasts forever masterlist
I'm once again with JJ and his friends, minus John B, and we're all gathered in Pope's family's shop. Pope's dad, Heyward, as JJ called him, but that I found out was actually just Pope's last name, Pope himself, was actually a very nice and welcoming man.
I was helping Pope's dad with something at the counter when he leaned in, speaking lowly, "Listen, kid. I can tell you're a sweet girl but I need to warn you." Heyward started.
"About what?" I asked politely but in a confused manner.
"JJ is trouble." Heyward told me. "Love the kid but he's bad news. You've got your whole life ahead of you and you shouldn't fuck it up by getting involved with his family's shit." Heyward added.
I'm silent for a few moments, "Oh... okay." That is all I say.
Was JJ really that bad? Sure, we've gotten into some type of trouble or did something we weren't supposed to be doing basically every hangout. But, he really was so sweet and I really did like him. I had even more feelings for him now after the kiss at the movie night the other night, so everything was very conflicting for me.
Heyward had gone outside for a moment to take care of something while I stayed inside, tidying up one of the aisles in the front. Pope was still very worried about the encounter at the movie night and honestly, I didn't blame him.
"Don't let them get in your head, bro. There's three of them and two of us. That's some typical Kook shit right there." JJ tells Pope.
"Hell, yeah." Kiara agreed as she worked behind the counter.
"What was your thought process, using your head?" JJ then asked Pope.
"I don't know, man. I just kind of acted off instinct, alright? I was a cornered animal." Pope told him.
"Hey, Pope, someone here to see you." Pope's dad called out as he walked inside the shop again. A cop then walked into the shop and JJ was immediately looking over at Pope, in fact, we all were.
“Evening, officer.” Pope said.
“I have an arrest warrant for felony destruction of property.” The cop said and Pope was looking back at JJ. Fuck. What did they do? “Keep your hands on the counter where I can see ‘em.” The cop said as he walked over to Pope.
“Woah, woah, woah, woah- wait. Shoupe, what’d he do?” Heyward asked as Shoupe cuffed Pope up.
“Take a look at the warrant.” Was all Shoupe responded.
“You’re arresting him?” Kiara asked in shock.
I walked over to JJ and watched nervously. Everyone was freaking out as we followed Pope and Shoupe outside of the shop where Shoupe led Pope to his cop car.
“It wasn’t him!” JJ suddenly yelled and everyone looked over at him. “It was me.” He said. JJ started to walk forward, “He tried to talk me out of it, but I was made because he’d just been beaten up.” JJ explained. “I was so sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit. I can’t let you take the blame for somethin’ I did. You’ve got too much to lose.” He said.
“JJ, what are you doing?” Pope asked and then, I realized that JJ wasn’t telling the truth. He was doing this for Pope.
“I’m tellin’ the truth. For once in my goddamn life, I’m gonna tell the truth.” JJ countered. “I took his old man’s boat too.” He then added.
“What the hell, JJ.” Heyward said.
“JJ, come on.” Pope said.
“Shut up, Pope! Just shut up.” JJ told him before looking at Shoupe. “He’s a good kid. You know where I’m from.” JJ told the cop.
“Yeah.” The cop agreed.
“This was all me.” JJ said.
“That’s the whole truth?” Shoupe asked Pope.
“Whole truth, swear to God.” JJ said.
Shoupe looked at him, “I know what you think, damn it, I’m asking Pope.”
Pope looked at JJ for a few moments before slightly nodding, “Yeah, that about covers it.”
As Shoupe uncuffed Pope, JJ looked back at me, giving me a slight nod of reassurance. I couldn’t find any words as I just looked at him, watching him get into the back of the cop car before Shoupe drove off, leaving us all standing there, thinking; what the fuck?
#manheeiim#outer banks#outerbanks#obx#obx fanfiction#obx fic#outer banks fanfiction#outerbanks fanfiction#jj maybank#jj maybank outer banks#jj maybank x reader#jj obx#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank x you#jj maybank angst#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank fanfiction#angst#fluff
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.....the intrusive thoughts won....
#vera's posts#off tickling#bye what the shit am i on rn#my dad's gonna fucking yell at me for this#i impulsively cut my own bangs HELP
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going 2 imagine that tide lambert my dad tide lambert is holding my hand thru these interviews and saying supportive shit like "you got this!!! 👍" yes i am mentally ill dont talk 2 me
#sometimes u gotta picture ur blorbos doing shit with u to actually like. do it#also mark wavelength winters is gonna be there too and hes gonna tell me not to fuck it up#and if the interviewer asks any illegal questions i should punch them square in the face#my divorced dads r accompanying me in spirit today 👍#whiskey yelling into the void
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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode
#crow.txt#the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god#can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done#be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else#i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later#i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now#what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today#including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus#like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted#and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn#its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care#but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either#bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual#and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just#walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was#guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm
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Against my better judgement I'm watching more of the 2016 ppg reboot and lemme tell you something. I HAAAAAAATE the way they write Utonium I HATE IT!!!
But sometimes there'll be a little moment here or there where he's kinda...cute > ^ <
#jane journals#self insert talk#🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬#ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE THERE'LL BE A VERY RARE W#like the one i just watched on recommendation from my partner where bubbles doesnt feel cute anymore cause she took a bad school photo#and woww they CAN write him being a good dad for once!! 🙄🙄🙄#not like good dad is a CORE PART OF HIS CHARACTER#but he reminds her that being cute is just ONE facet of what makes her a wonderful person#and then he brings her close and says 'between you and me you're the cutest one in the world!' UGGGHH#YOU CANT DO THAT YOU CANT TRICK ME LIKE THAT!!!!#and in the one i currently just finished he had a. job interview?? i guess he DOESNT get paid by the government#but the lady doing his interview said that they 'really love his work' and he BLUSHED ugghgh#fuck this show. ESPECIALLY FUCK IT FOR HAVING /SOME/ MOMENTS I ACTUALLY LIKE!!!!!#also it seems weird to me that bubbles would become so hung up on being cute#in the og its not like she's consciously being cute because its her THING she just IS#shes naturally innocent and good hearted ie CUTE#idfk#oh also buttercup pulls out a bucket list and the first thing is 'yell at a bird'#and ngl that made me blow air out of my nose ajfkf#ugh i could say a lot more but im not gonna
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Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south
#Cw gun mention I guess#I was feeling super nauseous so I went into the kitchen to get ritz crackers#And we're at my grandma's rn for Christmas and she has windows in the kitchen that look out at the road/other houses#And NO curtains or blinds because she's old#And anyway I turned a small light on so I could see the crackers and I hear a fucking man outside shout “WHO'S OUT THERE”#In the heaviest southern accent. Mind you every fucking person in this area has a gun bc there's lots of trees with squirreld they shoot#And logically now that I am calming down I know it was just a bad coincidence and he was probably yelling at smthn in his yard#But jesus fucking christ I felt such immediate intense fear my head went cold#Ran to my baby brother's room bc I was certain someone was gonna come kill us#Then the rationality took over and I just told my mom about it. But now I'm sitting outside his room eating crackers bc I'm fucking paranoid#It is almost 4am and I haven't slept a wink I cannot do this rn#But literally the last time I went for a walk around here my dad told me not to go alone and also not to say anything stupid#And also stay far away from houses bc I could get myself shot#Literally what the fuck is this.#“Afearican” except I'm still very much in the US#Not to mention almost every fucking house has a blue lives matter flag and some have isr*el flags now too like#I fuuuuucking hate it here
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the gay experience of slightly wanting to kill yourself in your grandparents bathroom
#i just can’t go out there and pretend like i’m loved with all of them anymore i cant#my dads gonna shut off my phone and my parents r gonna yell at me but i can’t anymore#ive never felt more lonely than i have around these fucking people#i wish i could go on a walk without all of them knowing that i left#man why did i leave my fucking shoes next to the door i should have brought them back here#vent
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oh my stars im so unbelievably fucking stupid (vent in tags)
#so i was supposed to be on the robotics team#i have been for the past two years#and guess what i forgot to give to the robotics coach person.#my fucking application#it was due tuesday.#i only remembered today.#so theres no programmer on the whole fucking team because i was the only one#i dont have anything to look forward to for the most part now#and ive cried like three or four times because of this#and i have to tell my dad i forgot. so hes probably gonna yell at me or smth#because apparently im not allowed to forget things#and now i hate myself even more which i didnt even know could fucking happen!#if someone drops out of the team i can come back but. im just a fucking idiot#school is going to be even more unbearable than it already is and im going to hate myself more and more#i also got a front seat view of homophobia in action but thats not the point of this so#anyways im gonna shut the fuck up#vent
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Government mandated masato posting time
#snap chats#in new york waitin to meet up with my dad so i have to spend my time wisely of course#//insert microwave noises//#i dont even have any concrete thoughts other than whenever he’s dying on the floor he’s at his most attractive#because hes demented in both instances like no one look at me hang on#NO CAUSE THE FIRST TIME hes so fucking stupid HES IN THE WORST SITUATION IMAGINABLE#AND HES STILL TAUNTING AND SPITTING ON SUZUMORI LIKE ????? the actual audacity#and the fuckin second time its right after getting his shit rocked and he STILL got The Audacity to be on that nihilism bullshit to ichi#ITS SO FUNNY NO DIE i love the ending scenes so much ….#like the thinnly-veiled rage from ichi as aoki talks about people being tools … its my everything .. anD AOKI SCUTTLING BACK ONCE ICHI YELLS#im gonna throw up brb this was supposed to be a thirst post but now im just emo about y7 again WHY DO THEY HAVE BLACK HEART EMOJI FOR EMO#DIE whatevr. anyway i miss masato …. i miss him being a prick cause it was kinda hot tbh like whats wrong with you.#ill be normal about him one day i promise but for now#//the rest of this post has been redacted//
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resisting the urge to go through the entire Alice in Borderland canon again just to write essay-length character analysis of the Arisu + Chishiya + Niragi dynamic
#i do not. have the time. im still saying im gonna write my own novel sometime and i should really get on that. HOWEVER.#there is something There that I can't quite put my finger on and it bothers me#yeah they're the same? but also not? Arisu's dad also fucks him over; worse in the manga than in the adap#and sure he's selfobsessed the way niragi and chishiya are. but he does not go to their lengths of (self?) destruction and im sure there's#SOMETHING im missing there. i'm just not sure WHAT. is it about choice?#is it about the way our circumstances influence but ultimately don't define us? then what the fuck is the point of Usagi#coming in to save him when the others never got that courtesy im. im not sure what my brain is trying to yell at me#looking at my blog you'd think this thing is the only show i watch but its very much not theyre just. stuck in my brain. goddamn#maybe ill just do Manga Them ive been saying i'll reread anyway
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look, my dad is not a perfect man and he's not faultless in how disfunctional my parent's marriage is but at the same time I've been watching my mom bully him my whole life and now that my man-hating oma is living there with them it's even worse because now they tag team to make him miserable and it makes me so fucking angry
#text post#don't reblog#my mom had to borrow our car to take her dad to an appointment bc he can't get in any of the other vehicles#so she came over to drop it off and then walked next door to my aunt's house so they could go to a concert#and my mom's sitting in my kitchen on the phone with my dad informing him that once again my oma hired someone#to come do major work at the house (this time trimming all the trees) and he's not allowed to get mad#and my dad is just quit on the other line and then asks 'they're not doing anything to the apple tree right?'#bc genuinely i know my dad is upset they're springing shit on him without asking for his input again#but i also know the thing that would send him over the edge is the apple tree bc he loves that thing#and my mom just starts SCREAMING at him on the phone and then hangs up before he can respond#and then she starts yelling about him to me#and I'm sitting here like 'why the FUCK do you and oma keep doing this shit to him?'#i would never fucking do that to my partner#and now my dad's gonna go home and he's not gonna have anything to do and he's gonna feel like shit all night alone
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assigning a character the highest honour like *adds go home by julien baker to their playlist*
#and by honour i mean pointing at them like TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED!#like yeah relating to this song is a red flag actually. yeah it's one of the most personal songs in the world to me#and i actively am not allowed to listen to it some days bc it makes me significantly worse#even if im in a GOOD mood because of the layers upon layers of emotions ive associated with it#yeah i literally wont even blorbo post to this song even if it's accurate to a character because it's so personal#so they have to be REALLY FUCKING SPECIAL AND FUCKED IN THE HEAD to get this honour. enter touya#i made him a playlist im going crazy like yeah actually of course i was always gonna be weird about him#like he's got fire themes. he's got body horror. he just wanted to be good. he's ethel cain coded. he's georgia coded#he's got mommy AND daddy AND sibling issues. he's the only other character ive let even come close to mary on a cross#he's a waiting room girlie. he's an archer girlie. im tearing my hair the fuck out of my scalp#why does the first character ive latched onto this hard since CHUUYA have to be from mha of all things#like that's embarassing for me im embarassed to be here. and yet#touya todoroki#the thing that makes me sick about touya is yes the abuse he went through via his quirk and his dad etc etc#but also bc sekota peak happened when he was 13 right? and he's 24 now? that's 11 years unaccounted for#like ik it's confirmed his burns put him in a coma for 3 years and all for one and the dr guy just stapled his stubborn self together#which is something else i will YELL MY HEAD OFF ABOUT WHAT THE FUCKKKKK HE WAS A CHILD STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT#but im pretty sure it's confirmed that after 3 years he goes off again on his own? which still leaves him as a teenager?#like he straight up burns himself alive at 13 wakes up at 16 and reappears at 24 with dyed hair and piercings and a bad attitude#and im not supposed to wonder? or get upset? like i absolutely am leaning into the 'he was on the streets' angle bc i hate myself#and that's devastating and also what alternative is there logically like he has NOTHING#no home no money no name that he can feasibly use not even an appearance that will warrant anything but more cruelty#so youve got this child on the streets with injuries that absolutely cause insane amounts of pain daily he's literally STAPLED together#and he's completely alone and the only thing getting him through is this growing hatred and rage#like id set all my plans around killing the guy that put me there too actually just to fucking get me out of bed in the morning#I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. WHERE WAS HE FOR THE PAST DECADE. HORIKOSHI PLEASE#I WANNA GO HOME IM SICK THERES MORE WHISKEY THAN BLOOD IN MY VEINS MORE TAR THAN AIR IN MY LUNGS#PIERCE MY SKIN NEEDLES TO WORN OUT RAGS THE FOLDS IN MY ARMS THE SICKENING BLACK AND I HAVENT BEEN TAKING MY MEDS#I KNOW MY BODY IS JUST DIRTY CLOTHES IM TIRED OF WASHING MY HANDS GOD I WANT TO GO HOME
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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh
#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it#she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin#all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's#all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood#and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here#and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does#so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff#when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die#and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates#cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter#grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni#she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t#so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too#and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress#when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk#i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz#cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all#grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done#unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess#it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help#like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi#and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous#and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree#at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar#without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since#we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by#i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear#its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage
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#the emotional whiplash I experienced today#I legit yelled back at my dad today#told him I’m goddamn 28 years old and he’s not gonna yell at me#he yelled even louder and said he didn’t care if I’m a hundred years old#and then within 30 minutes he was being nice and hugging me and telling me he was sorry for how things are#like my god I knew my family was fucked up#but this is next level#and all the while my kid is toddling around the living room acting like this is completely normal#well it’s not#my fucking god it’s not
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why my mom can’t flush or wash her hands is beyond me
#personal#it’s the washing hands mainly#like does it suck to see pee/poop left over Yes. Emphatically Yes.#way better than seeing her walk out the rest room and not once hearing the water running#and like i call her on which obviously she doesn’t like#which can lead to her doing it#telling me she was gonna do it in the kitchen sink#which way are you washing ur pee/poo hands in the sink we clean our dishes in?????????????#or yells at me i’m not her mother#mother fucker you ruin the communal space as is don’t make it poopy too 😭😭😭😭#haven’t eaten all day bc when i ran home to grab my lunch#two car accidents made the ten minute trip back to my office the whole hour#and i see or smell something gross in my house i immediately lose appetite.#i do have cereal so i can eat that 👀#ugh now i’m remembering her grabbing a fist full of the bowl i began making yesterday when she asked me to paint her toenails#i hate bashing her in this way bc it feels. worse than just calling her on her actions buts it’s so fucking gross#she grew fungus under press ons i did for her and swore off them#but all i could think is that…….#i don’t even wanna say it#dad made me lose 30 pounds last year on accident i’ve actually gained weight - not all of it bc i still fit in the#clothes i bought during that time but let’s see if i can lose more bc of my mom#like cooking yesterday way gross bc of the house and then i remember my mom can also be gross#and has control of every room outside of my room#which is a mess bc i’ve been partying so much#(it was a mess before laundry is KICKING my ass)
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#miles thots#i almost feel bad about yelling at my dad#almost.#bc all my siblings helped with making todays dinner and cleaning the house for our guests- even the 7 year old#i did too even though i was barely home yesterday and today#but my dad was home all day and just watched tv the whole day#and then he didn’t even pick up his plate from the floor- which was disposable btw#my siblings and i were gonna play a game on the living room floor and i said ‘can you guys help me pick up real quick? whose plate’s that?’#and he went ‘it’s mine pick it up’#so i told him no and that i wouldn’t let my siblings pick it up either bc the least he could do was pick up after himself#then he just rolled his eyes at me and went back to watching tv#i’m so fucking annoyed with him. he’s like this all the time and i’m so sick of everyone babying him as if he’s not a grown ass man
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