#my dad hasnt spoke to me in like more than a month and he just texted me a picture of my cat that i had to leave at his house

[crypticsteve]

listening to 2011 by 5sos on repeat to ignore my life ✌

[ao3gingerswag]

Learning

Prompt Submission by modernurbanfantasy:

I would love some sort of future situation (if/when) Dean, Cas and Sam when they are back at the inn around how smart Sam is. Like we know how smart Sam is (and I think Dean probably does as well) and he wants to get Sam some education (in the church or in some local school) but that is obviously v difficult. So he is all sad thinking about what he would need to do to get Sam into a school and is trying to hide it from Case and then like idk Bobby or something is able to help get Sam some sort of deal with the local school bc they see how smart and talented he is. Idk just an idea. 

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE OUTSIDE

To: Pastor Murphy

My name is Sam and I am 10 years old. I saw your pamflet on the phisics of momentem posted on the church bulitin borde. I liked it a lot. I am writing to you becase I think you made a mistake tho. You cubed the largest side of the triangel when I think you meant to square it. If you square it it solves the problem you were talking about. I tride to go in to tell you but the man at the door said no I cant come in becase theres no church today and only the students can go in. And I dont go to the college. I tride to say I need to see you becase you made a mistake and tride to show him but he said i dont know what your talking about. So I am writing this note and leaving it here on the borde for you.

Thank you.

-Sam

Dear Sam,

In all the years I have posted my articles on the church bulletin, I have not once received a response from the local population. I have always continued to post them regardless, just in case anyone is reading them. I was so happy to discover that my efforts have not entirely been in vain.

I have received several letters from my colleagues since the publication of my paper pointing out my error, but none have been so polite as yours. Did you know, none of my own students caught the mistake you so kindly made me aware of? Authority is the bane of progress, I often think, as it seems since I took my position none but the few others in similar positions dare to question whatever I say.

Sam, I am delighted that Whitecreek is blessed with a child as inquisitive and bright as you. It is not often that I meet ten year olds who are interested in physics, much less those who can follow my published papers. If you like physics, I would be happy to meet with you and your parents this coming Sunday to discuss the subject and the possibility of furthering your education.

I am leaving this note with the guard you spoke to last week, and have asked him to give you this letter if he sees you again. If you have another letter for me, you can leave it with him and he will pass it along. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

Sorry I didnt come to the church Sunday I didnt get your letter until now. I dont live in whitecreek we only come once a month to get suplies. I live at the inn outside of whitecreek they call it the willow inn becase it is near a willow tree. Maybe you have heard of it maybe not if you dont travel.

I like everything not just phisics I like biolagy and astranomy and math and I like reading and I like learning and I like looking at bugs and plants and things in the woods. My dad didnt like it when i read tho becase he didnt know how and he said do you think your better than me. I said no but he still got mad at me. But I dont live with him anymore.

I really like learning a lot. I would like to meet you and talk about phisics and other things but I dont have parents I just have Dean and Cas. They run the inn and I help them. They said I can meet with you but Cas said to tell you that we have no money for school becase he said maybe you think I’m rich becase I can read and write but we are not rich. I learned to read by myself becase I like it. So I cant go to school and cant further my educatin like you said but I would still like to meet with you please if you want to.

Do you have any books I could look at? I like books but no one has any books. Cas has a book and he let me read it but I read it like a hundred times now and memerized it. If you have any books I could look at I would be very gratful and I would not mess them up I would be very careful. But if you dont have books or dont want me to look at them thats ok i understand i would still like to meet you please. I have a lot of questins. Like is the moon hot or cold. And lots of other things. I used to ask my dad but he yelled at me and sometimes he hit me i think especially when he didnt understand the questin.

It is better now becase Dean was always nice to me and listened to my questins and Cas I dont know him so well yet but he is nicer than dad and he hasnt gotten mad at me for asking questins yet. He says you are very smart Sam and it is good to ask questins which is nice. But even tho Dean and Cas let me ask questins alot they sometimes know the answer but usually they dont. They say you know more than me Sam. I think I do know more than them but only becase they dont know how to read I think everyone could learn everything if they just knew how to read. Thats how i learn things.

Please let me know if you still want to meet with me even tho I didnt see your letter in time. The guard said you are not here today becase you are at a lectchure about math in a diffrent city that is so exciting maybe you can tell me about it when you come back. I will be here again in four weeks I will come and maybe I can see you or maybe there will be another letter eether way thank you I am so happy.

-Sam

To: Sam, ten years old. Willow Inn, outside of Whitecreek.

Dear Sam,

I was truly overjoyed to receive your most recent correspondence. I had worried that I had scared you off or that your interest in science had faded. Clearly, these were merely the fears of an old man, who has become a bit too paranoid in his old age. I have in fact heard of the Willow Inn, and in fact I have stayed at it a few times when traveling that direction for a conference or a lecture. It has been a few years since I last had the pleasure of receiving their hospitality, but I had thought it was run by only a man and his son, who was about 13 at the time. Has the inn changed hands, since I was last there? Or has my faulty memory yet again betrayed my years?

In any case, I have sent a courier with this letter to the inn, in order to avoid missing you yet again when you again make your way into town. Sam, I am absolutely still interested in meeting you, regardless of your financial situation. Your literacy and thirst for knowledge is made all the more impressive by your lack of formal education. I will happily share all the resources I have with you, if you would like to learn. The college’s library has many books on all of the subjects you have expressed interest in. We have collections on physics, biology, astronomy, math, and several thousand others. All of these can be made available to you, and if you are as careful as you promise you will be, you can borrow almost any of them and take them home with you for the month. I would be happy to meet with you and discuss your readings when you make your regular trip to town, and could suggest which books you may want to start with, and which to continue with once you have studied those.

I am sorry that you have had difficulty in the past when you have tried to express your curiosity. Unfortunately there are many in the world who don’t care for knowledge, and resent those of us who seek it. I am glad to hear that you are now living with people who are more understanding of your interests, ignorant though they might be of them. I must say that I am struck by your optimism regarding the natural learning capabilities of the general population. I strongly agree with your statement, which I have quoted here because it means so much to me: “I think everyone could learn everything if they just knew how to read.” This is an opinion which I have always agreed with, and have been trying to convince many of my colleagues of for most of my long career. I am glad we are of the same mind in this area.

In answer to your question: Unfortunately, no one knows for sure if the moon is hot or cold. The prevailing theory currently is that it is cold. The reasoning here is that we are fairly certain it is made of stone, and stone is cold unless otherwise heated. In the absence of an internal heat source, we assume the moon is likely cold to the touch. However, we cannot know this for sure without knowing exactly what it is made of and how this material would be affected by the heat of our sun at its current level of exposure. Perhaps when you grow up, you will be able to figure this out for us.

I look forward to hearing your other questions when we meet, and I of course will be happy to share what I learned at my conference with you. If I am correctly understanding your schedule, I believe you will be in town again two Wednesdays from when this letter should reach you. I will be at the church from dawn to dusk on that day. The guard will know to let you and your family into the building, and we can discuss the possibility of further meetings then. Please give my best to your family, and I wish you the best until then.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

I asked the man to wait for a minit so I can write a letter back and he said he would but I cant take forever he said so I wont. I am so excited to meet you in two weeks I am going to write all of my questins down. I am so excited to see your books I am so excited to learn. Cas said we can all come meet you together and then they will go do shoping and I can stay if thats ok or Dean can stay with me if you want. That is so intresting about the moon i didnt think about that thank you for explaneing. I will be so careful with your books if you let me take them home and I will read anything you say I should I will be good and learn fast and you will be happy you let me learn I promise I will be good and you will not regrat it. Thank you I am so excited sorry this is mesy and there are stains I am crying a lot. I would wait to write later but the man wants me to hurry up. I used to dig in the trash to find anything with words on it to read and Dean would let the man at the church do bad things to him so he could bring me pamflets sometimes. I said dont do that but he did anyway and I was always so happy to get them even tho I said dont do that. Which I felt bad about but I still read the pamflets. Anyway if you let me take lots of books home I will learn everything and I will read to Dean and Cas so they can lean too and I will be very happy. I am so excited thank you I will see you in two weeks.

p.s. i forgot to say. Cas’s dad died and now he runs the inn with Dean who is my friend.

-Sam

To: Sam Winchester, ten years old, of brown hair and brown eyes. Willow Inn, outside of Whitecreek.

Dear Sam,

I have sent the courier along once again with this letter. The suggested coursework I promised you is enclosed. I also again wanted to express how wonderful it was to meet you and your family, and how excited I am to have such a bright young man under my tutelage. Your questions were delightful, and I can only hope that I have answered them to your satisfaction.

Please do reiterate to your friend Dean that it was lovely to meet him as well, and that he will always be welcome in my church regardless of the content of his past.

I look forward to seeing you all again in person next month, and wish you the best until that time comes.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Sam :)

[peacedolantwins]

Pain and Embarrassment pt 3

part of my family series

part 1

part 2

It had been 3 months since Ethan decided to ruin not only your relationship, but also the relationship he had with his kids. You had hardly spoken to him since you went out to California to be with your family. You had only called a few times to let him know that you would be back in time for the kids to start school in the fall.

There was so much he wanted to tell you, apologize for, but each time he tried either he couldnt find the words or you hung up before he got the chance to say anything. He had hardly talked to his kids these past months. Skylar and Connor wanted nothing to do with him. He expected as much from Connor, but Sky not wanting to talk to him hurt more than he thought it would. Everyone was handling this differently and coping the best they could.

The little girl who was his whole world from the moment she was born didnt want to talk to her dad. The one man she thought would never hurt her, the one she thought she could trust with her whole heart and would always be there was the one who just did the most damage. She couldnt understand how Ethan could have done something like this to not only you but to her family. The girl Ethan cheated with was only a few years older than she was and she couldnt help but think about all the times she had been to his office and had conversations with this woman. She felt like she had a part to play in this for not seeing it.

Connor not wanting to talk to him hurt in a different way than the rest. Ethan knew he could try and patch up his relationship with the other kids but it felt like there was nothing left to try and fix with Connor. He was gone all the time overseas, he had limited communication and he only came home once in a blue moon. There was no way he could try and sit down with his son unless Connor allowed it and he severely doubted that was going to happen anytime soon. Ethan knew that you were Connors whole world, you could do no wrong in his eyes and he practically worshiped the ground you walked on and while the other kids would tease him about being a mamas boy, Ethan was proud his son was so protective of you. However, this is when it seems to have backfired on him because as soon as he lost you he should have known he’d lose his son too.

Alex and Riley were understandably upset with him. They spoke to him a few times just to call and check in and let Ethan know they were okay. While they havent forgiven him, they wanted to try and move on. He was their dad, and while that doesnt give him a pass for what he did, they love him.

Noah, always looking up to Connor, followed in his big brothers steps and decided he didnt want to talk to Ethan at all. The only times Ethan managed to get Noah on the phone was when you forced him to because while Ethan hurt you, you werent going to cut him off from his own children as much as you might have wanted to. The few conversations he had with his son were short and to the point. Simple answers, he wouldnt talk about anything and Noah always kept the calls under five minutes, almost as if he had a timer running in the background and the dial tone was the alarm that let Ethan know his time was up.

Elise was the only one who would talk to him. She knew something was wrong, she knew he cheated but she didnt completely understand it and what it meant. She knew you were upset with Ethan but she only saw it as another fight that the two of you had and that you would all be okay once everyone said sorry. She missed her dad. She told you as much and she asked when you would be going back home.

And then there was you. You were trying to figure out what all of this meant for you. The relationship you had with Ethan was ruined, you knew that much for sure. But were you going to go back to New Jersey? Still live with the man who cheated on you in your own house? In your own bed? Part of you wanted to try and fix this, if not for you then for your kids. But was this something that could be fixed? You didnt think this was.

At first you were hurt when you found out. Why would your husband do this? Why would he go out and cheat repeatedly while you were home and suspected nothing? Was it something that you did that drove him to this other woman? Was it because you lost the baby? It was something that you two had argued about before and according to Ethan, the timeline matched up.

But the more you thought about it, while you were still hurt, you were angry now. None of this was your fault. You were not responsible for your cheating husband under any circumstances. He made his own choices freely and that wasnt on you. He was the one who messed up and ruined what you two had. Once you had realized all of this you were finally able to start moving on.

You still wanted answers from Ethan, but the answers wouldnt change anything. Your marriage was over, but hearing his explanation would help give you the closure you needed.  

It was now August and the kids would be starting school in a few weeks so it was time to head back to Jersey. The twins had decided to do online school, not wanting to deal with their classmates and you respected that choice. You felt they were old enough to make that choice for themselves. You had asked Noah if he wanted to do the same but he was very much against it because that meant he would be home more often with Ethan and he would much rather deal with kids at school then spend more time with his cheating father. Lizzy however was excited to go back to school because that meant she got to see her friends again and spend time with her dad who she hasnt seen all summer.

You had already talked to Grayson about picking you up from the airport and taking the kids with him for a few hours. You wanted to be able to talk to Ethan alone first without the kids being there in case things got heated between you two. They didnt need to listen to the possible yelling. And Grayson was more than happy to get to spend some time with his niece and nephew.  He dropped you off with all the luggage back at the house you shared with Ethan and left with the kids.

You took a breath and dragged the bags up the porch and into the house and left them by the stairs. The kids could use unpacking as an excuse not to talk to Ethan if they wanted to. You were debating about where to take your things when Ethan came in from the living room.

“Hey,” he said hesitantly.

“Hi,” you didnt know what else to say.

“I, uh, I moved to one of the guest rooms so you can take our room,” Ethan rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“No, I’ll take one of the rooms.” There was no way you were willingly sleeping in the same bed he had sex with that girl in. He made his bed, now he can lay in it. Literally.

Ethan seemed to have come to the same realization and simply nodded.

“You cut your hair,” he motioned to your hair that was now just above your shoulders.

“Yeah, heard you had a thing for girls with long hair,” you replied and pushed your hair back behind your ear, not seeing him flinch at your words. Your long hair had reminded you of the girl with waist long hair he cheated with and you cut yours as soon as you could.

“Y/n,” you could see the pain in his eyes at your remark. Good. He had no right to be the one who hurt.  

“What?” What was there to say?

“Are we seriously going to start this now?” He has gone from apologetic to now annoyed.

“I’m not starting anything, you did that when you couldn’t keep it in your pants,” you pointed out.

“Y/n, I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry I cheated, it was a mistake.”

“A mistake? Ethan, a mistake is putting a red shirt with the white clothes. A mistake is forgetting to pick up something from the store.  A mistake is something you can forgive. A mistake is an accident. You don’t accidentally have sex with someone over and over again. You did that knowing what the consequences would be and you did it anyway! You don’t get to stand there and tell me this was a mistake!” You were shouting at this point but you didn’t care.

“You know the sad thing is that maybe, just maybe, I could have forgiven the first time. Maybe it would have been something we could fix. But this? This is so broken there’s nothing left to fix.”

“No, no, we can work through this. We can, I don’t know, go to counseling or something, but Y/n please,” he wasn’t going to let this end. He couldn’t.

“I want a divorce.” You said simply and took out the folder of documents that had to be signed.

“Y/n,” he said quietly.

“Please don’t fight me on this. After what you put me through it’s the least you can give me. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. We don’t need to waste money on lawyers. Sign it and we can move on.” You held out the folder to him.

“I’m not going to sign that,” he took a step back from the offending papers.

“Ethan please.”

“No.”

“Why not? Ethan this marriage is over. There’s nothing left here, not after this. You clearly didn’t care about us when you decided to cheat on me so just sign the damn papers!” You shoved the folder to his chest only for it to fall to the ground when he failed to catch it.

“No! Because once I sign this that means we’re done. That means that you’re gone and I��ll have nothing left! I’ll lose you completely and call me selfish but I don’t want that! I want to fix this Y/n, please.” Ethan looked close to tears at this point. He knew he fucked up but he didn’t think you would bring up divorce this soon and he definitely wasn’t expecting you to have the papers with you as soon as you came home.

“Well I don’t! Would you forgive me if I had an affair? If I slept with someone I worked with over and over again? If I went public about it before I told you? If I brought this person into our bed for over a year?”

Silence.

“I didn’t think so. And I wouldn’t expect you to forgive something like that. So please don’t ask the same of me.” You pleaded with him.

“You expect me not to fight for my family? Y/n, you and the kids are my whole world. And I’m so sorry that I fucked it all up. But if you think I’m going to just let you walk out of my life without a fight you’re wrong.”

You let out a deep breath and walked over to the couch closest to you and sat down. Ethan moved to sit across from you, still leaving the folder on the floor. A small part of you wondered if his mistress sat on this same couch that your kids would spend hours on or if he kept her limited to your bed.

“Ethan I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. I’m not gonna change my mind on this so please don’t drag it out longer than it needs to be. I appreciate that you want to fight for this relationship but it’s useless. I’m sorry but I am not going to sit here and let you think there’s a chance of forgetting what happened because there’s not.” Why give him a flicker of hope when there was none?

“So what? You’re just gonna go? Take the kids with you? They’re my kids too.” If Ethan couldn’t fight for you anymore there wasn’t a chance in hell he wasn’t going to fight for his children.

“I never said I was leaving. Or that I was going to take them. Despite all of this, I don’t want to split up this family. The kids don’t deserve that and as their mother it’s my job to take care of them regardless of what happened and how I feel. They come first. Always.” You could be civil with Ethan but things were never going to be the same.

“I would still live here, in another room obviously. Think of it as having a roommate who you just happen to be raising children with.”

“You’ve thought it through havent you?” You could see the defeat starting to take over his features.

“I have.” You nodded. “We’ve all been through enough. We don’t need more change. And if this is something we can’t live with, we cross that bridge when we get to it and figure out what to do then. I don’t want to split up this family if I don’t have to, but Ethan I need you to sign the papers. I can’t let myself be legally bound to you after all of this. I just can’t.”

Ethan seemed to accept this. He didn’t look thrilled about it but he seemed to understand.

“I still want a lawyer to go over it before I sign it,” he said it so quietly you almost didn’t hear him.

“Of course. Thank you,” you were glad he was agreeing to it.

You got up to go into one of the guest rooms that would now be yours when you heard him call your name.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?” You stopped and turned.

“Are we ever going to be okay?” He looked up at you from where he still sat on the couch.

Would you? You hadn’t really thought that far ahead about the situation.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I hope we can eventually, for what it’s worth. But it’s going to take time.”

Ethan simply nodded at your response.

You grabbed your luggage from where you left it at the stairs and dragged it off to your new room. Everything might still be broken but that’s all it is. Broken. It can be fixed over time but the scars and cracks will always be there. Only time will make this whole thing fade away.

@pgm-dolan @dolandolll @dolanshellyes @mysecretsaremydemons @mmmmmgd @ethandolxns @dolantwinsfavss@knee-deep-in-feels @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday  @sarcasm-at-its-finest2444 @fandomsfeministsandothershit @graydolan12 @ilsolee @inlovewithethandolan @someonedoingnothing @vintagebitttch @sunshinedolantwins @chonisberonica @ardordolan @ethantasy @wasabisama331 @graysavant @atlas-of-a-human-soul @wolfpuppii009 @livexdolan if you wanna be added/want me to stop tagging you just let me know

also pls comment/like/reblog it makes me feel better about myself and gives the validation i desperately crave thank you 

[ticklish-m]

hey how do you like gas prices? do you work? does it bother you people crossing the borders get free healthcare and aren't tested for Corona while tax payers get stuck paying for them all? how about the lie saying stimulus money won't raise out taxes. but it's raising them. how about that stimulus money was taxpayer money that we've already been taxes on....now they are taxing again??? glad you are happy with the new president

you and your political views are as lame as the language you use in those political opinions of yours!!! when you move outta mommy and daddy's house maybe you'll have different views!! but for now shut your fucking mouth unless you know what you are talking about!!!!

You fucked with the wrong bitch today.

Let’s break this down question by question:

How do I like gas prices? Well yeah I think they’re pretty high right now. But it doesn’t help that there were idiots who decided to hoard a shit ton of gas just like they did toilet paper at the beginning of this pandemic. The less supply we have of something, the more expensive it’s going to be. It’s simple supply and demand, ya know the shit we learned in elementary school?? And if you think I’m going to blame Biden for this, you’re sadly mistaken. See, the president doesn’t control gas prices, he never has. If you would like to read about why gas prices are rising and why is definitely not ANY presidents fault, here: https://www.politifact.com/article/2021/mar/02/are-gas-prices-going-and-it-joe-bidens-fault/

Do I work?? Yes, I do work. I have to drive an hour to and from my job that only pays $9 and hour. Keep that in mind for later questions.

Does it bother me people crossing the borders get free healthcare and aren't tested for Corona while tax payers get stuck paying for them all? No it doesn’t bother me. I believe that universal health care is a right for ALL people. As President Biden has said, “I think that anyone who is in a situation where they are in need of health care regardless of whether they are documented or undocumented, we have an obligation to see to that they're cared for.” (Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/5485242002) What kind of person looks at an undocumented immigrant who is ill and thinks they don’t deserve to have health insurance? That’s right, an asshole one. As ass for the corona virus comment, Biden has actually not stopped COVID-19 testing at the border. (Source: https://www.factcheck.org/2021/02/biden-hasnt-reduced-covid-19-testing-at-the-border/) The claim that was made said that Biden was releasing detained immigrants without COVID-19 testing, is in fact false. So maybe double check google first before spreading lies?

[Does it bother me] how about the lie saying stimulus money won't raise out taxes. but it's raising them. I’m assuming you’re talking about Biden’s $1.9 Trillion American Rescue Plan?? Please correct me if I assumed wrong. Let’s see, it’s going to raise corporate tax rates (so companies, ok), and individual tax rates for high earners (I wonder what he considers a high earner?). The corporate tax rate will probably increase from 21% to 28%. While the individual income tax rate will increase for people earning more than $400,000 per year, and raising the capital gains tax for people earning more that $1 million per year. (Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/sarahhansen/2021/03/15/biden-gears-up-for-new-tax-hikes-to-pay-for-more-stimulus-heres-what-we-know/amp/) So this sounds like people who earn more, get taxes more. While people who earn less, get taxed less. So if you fall into one of these categories, which I feel is highly unlikely, then you have enough money to pay for the raise in tax. If you don’t fall into any of these categories, shut the fuck up and quit complaining.

[Does it bother me] how about that stimulus money was taxpayer money that we've already been taxes on....now they are taxing again??? Wow if you google “is the stimulus taxable” guess what pops up first? This: ““None of the stimulus payments are taxable." The IRS already has records of the stimulus checks in its system, so taxpayers who are certain that they received the stimulus payments they were due don't have to take any additional action” (Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2021/04/13/how-stimulus-checks-will-affect-your-2020-taxes.html) In fact, this says that people are making the mistake as putting the stimulus check AS INCOME which then makes it taxable. The IRS could eventually issue a refund for your mistake but there is no guarantee the IRS will catch this mistake. So do your homework before coming at me.

Now I am not completely happy with Biden. Joe Biden is a human being, he makes mistakes. Some of which he needs to be held accountable for. It is my duty as an American who voted for him, to watch him under a microscope and make sure that no one tries to treat him as some God.

However, he is actually supporting a lot of movements which makes him look good. He spoke against police brutality, and supports the Black Lives Matter movement. Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/4876710001 However, there have been allegations against him in the Me Too movement. There hasn’t been any investigation into this allegation so I am still very wary about President Biden. If there was an investigation and he did end up doing that to her, he should be prosecuted, just like Trump should be. But if he didn’t, then I believe there should be an investigation into the woman who accused him and why she would lie.

“when you move outta mommy and daddy's house maybe you'll have different views!!” First of all, you don’t know me. You don’t know who I am, where I live, who I live with, anything. You know nothing. But here, let me tell you a bit about myself even though you don’t deserve it. My mother and father split when I was 5 years old. Since then my father had barely anything to do with me. In fact, he passed away this year because of Stage 4 lung cancer and having strokes every week. Did he want me in his life when he found out he was dying? No. Did i get notified when he died? Also no, i found out through my brother. So technically, I never lived under my dads home nor used his dirty money. As for my mom. She is a strong, independent woman. But because of COVID, she lost her job. So she has been using the money that her sister left her when she died, to pay for food and bills. So the stimulus checks definitely help us, along with many other people. And I also help with food and bills where I can with my $9 an hour paycheck that I get once a month. So even when I do move out, my views are not going to change.

“but for now shut your fucking mouth unless you know what you are talking about!!!!” How about you suck my fucking dildo you piece of shit. I know what I’m talking about. I’ve done the research throughout the years. I’ve seen the world and been involved in protests. I’ve stood in front of people of color during these protests because I know the privilege I have. So how about you shut your fucking mouth, because you definitely don’t know what you’re talking about and who the hell you’re talking to. If you want to start more shit, my DMs are always open.

And if you want to know the color of the dildo you’ll be sucking, it’s purple, bitch.

-M 🖕🏼🤣

[joontier]

“One-Love”| CH. 3 - Wealth in Volumes

–> Summary: Love translates to zero in the tennis scoring system – the only thing keeping the scoreless player on the court is his love for the game.

–> Pairings: jung hoseok x female reader; kim seokjin x female reader

–> Rating: NC17

–> Genre/warnings:  FLUFF ASDFASJLDKF; a day in the life of a rich ass family basically; your cliché teenage crush feels; swearing; y/n forgetting her own period sksksk; Hobi being a slight perv; suggestive language; 

–> Words: 6.7k

–> A/N: good lord this hasnt been proofread bUT MY IMPATIENT ASS COULDNT WAIT; dunno how i managed to poop out 6.7k but here ya go i guess

“One-Love” Masterlist

Chapter 3: Wealth in Volumes

A sigh escapes your lips when there’s nearly no space left from the condensation that has formed on the container lid from all the patterns you’ve drawn for the past few minutes. Hoseok has never been this late before and neither did he miss a day at school. First period is starting soon and you’re starting to worry if something came up.

Hoseok arrives exactly two minutes before first period. The boy looks disheveled with unkempt hair and the top button of his uniform left open to complete the look. Hiro Yamada lets out a loud whistle the moment Hoseok steps in class. “Damn Hobi, never knew you were the kind to take quickies this early in the morning!” The boys snicker at Hiro’s comment while the girls vocally express their disgust towards the crudeness of it all.

“Seems like a tempting idea, whatcha think, _______?” Nadia whispers from behind, chortling louder when you miss at your attempt to smother her with your book. Hoseok seems disinterested by Hiro’s remark, but his lips curve into a small smile as he replies, “Jealous?” as Jimin and the others lose it at Hoseok’s response.

The daily classroom chaos continues, only ceasing when Ms. Chamber enters the room and greets the class a good morning. She’s a substitute teacher that will temporarily take over your Business & Management subject while your actual teacher, Mr. Santiago, is on his sick leave. It’s eerily quiet when she steps in, but your class is usually like this with relatively new teachers.

“Mock research paper.”

Three words is all it takes before a collective groan erupts from the class, complaints and protests, easily drowning out Ms. Chamber’s gentle voice. She taps a whiteboard marker against her desk. “Hey! I know, I know…” she sighs, resting against the table. “Try to think of it this way, you’d have additional reference for your papers next year, plus you have three months to accomplish this.”

The rest of the class continues to groan in objection. “On the bright side, I’ll let you work with partners. Go and take your pick.” Exhales of relief are heard throughout the room. Turning around to face Nadia, you wriggle your eyebrows suggestively. No spoken words are needed to express your intentions of choosing her as partner. She declines though, much to your surprise. You raise an eyebrow when Nadia nods her head toward Hoseok who’s sitting quietly beside you. Then she points to the Tupperware on your lap. You sigh. “Besides, I’m sick of your useless ass! I’m not flanking this subject because of you.” “Hey!” you cry indignantly at the accusation. She shrugs you off, giving you a double thumbs up before standing from her seat to approach someone else.

‘It’s now or never’, you think, contemplating on how to approach your seatmate. Without much thought put into planning, you place the container on his desk. He looks at you with wide eyes then onto the Tupperware in front of him. “Be my partner?” His eyes turn into small crescent moons at your proposal. Before he tries to look at what’s inside the container, your hand stops him.

“But before anything else, I didn’t get to say thank you for yesterday…”

“Yesterday?”

“Yeah, for your cheering and all… I don’t think I would’ve survived the game if it weren’t for your support. It really helped me. A lot.”

“______. Listen to me. You survived and won because you’re you, okay? You are a smart player. And besides, like I said, if it were easy, I would’ve done it instead.” He snorts, those tiny dimples above his mouth peeking out to say hi.

“Now what do we have here?” he asks, trying to look through the condensation on the lid. “It’s bibimbap. I’ve heard once that it was your favorite. So I made it for you this morning… It’s probably gone cold now and I know you don’t like eating food that’s gone cold so I can just take this back if…” your hands are slowly creeping up the container, and this time it’s he who stops you.

“______ it’s fine. You really didn’t have to but I truly appreciate this. Thanks.”

;

“Wow.”

No other word comes out of your mouth but the monosyllabic expression. You probably should’ve been used to it at this point, after staying long enough at Thames. The subtle normality of everything for them that is extreme to you is something that will most likely take some time to get used to. The expensive cars, the more extravagant hobbies…hell, the tuition fee alone was enough to make your knees turn to jelly.

You and Hoseok both agreed to start the paper as early as possible so here you were on a Saturday morning, trying to figure out the maze that is Hoseok’s residential village. To your luck, Hoseok suggested that you come over to his house to talk over your assignment, else he would’ve lost himself in the mess at your home.  

“Which street was it again? Your father asks, diverting your attention from the mansions lined up along the street. “Uh, it was Harrison I think…” you recall, grabbing your phone to check the address. “I’ve been here a few times before for Hobi’s training but the clubhouse was just a block away from the village’s entrance. Now, I’m not even sure if we’re still in the same country.” Your lips press into a firm line at your father’s lame attempt at a joke, but you also had a hunch that you had driven yourselves out of the village, or worse – straight to another one.

Your father rolls down his window to see the street signs clearer, also on the lookout for potential help. Driving over to the side, your dad puts the blinkers on as he tries to assess the directions that Hoseok had previously given you. “I’m pretty sure we followed it,” he mumbles, taking another glance outside the car’s window.

Before you offer to try calling Hoseok, a van behind you honks and stops beside your car. When they roll their window down, you instantly recognize the pair, Tita and Adit who both work for Hoseok’s family. “Sir Hoseok told us you were nearby. We figured we might see you on our way home.” Tita says, waving at you while Adit tells your dad to tail them.

A street and a relieved sigh from your father later, your dad finally drops you off in front of the house and a black steel gate slides open at your arrival, revealing a contemporary wonder of a mansion. “Remember to always be on your best behavior. I’m sure the Jungs are nice and all, but don’t take advantage of it. Please don’t touch anything, god knows what sort of eccentric antique they might’ve spent their money on. And no funny business!” He repeats your mother’s endless reminders that by the time he finishes, you’re already standing outside the car, fingers tapping against the car door impatiently. “Yes dad, I knowww-“ His eyes squint at you, “Fine, but don’t come home crying when you’ve accidentally broken something worth more than our lives combined. You’re selling your own kidneys, kid.”

With a curt wave, he rolls the window back up and drives away. Tita waits by the gate to walk you to the front door. Suspicions confirmed, this house spoke wealth in volumes. She chuckles at you as you take your time with every step, pebbles crunching underneath your weight while your eyes marvel the alluring abode. Waiting for you by the threshold, she beckons you over with a wave. “Sir Hobi has been waiting for you all morning.”

You quicken your steps, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. She must’ve thought it strange to have you gawking all over the place. You’ve gone to Nadia’s place a few times, but there really wasn’t anything to compare since she lived at an apartment, albeit a luxurious one, it was still different having an actual house and property. Considerably, foreigners didn’t exactly have rights to own residential property in the country which is why it came as a surprise to you that Hoseok lives in this elite village, more so when you realize he resides in an actual estate.

The mansion is beautiful beyond description. With the interior looking like an actualization of a designer’s 3D floor plan, your eyes take a good sweeping look at the place while Tita asks you to take a seat as she calls for Hoseok. You wonder how lovely it is to come home to this every day. It’s spacious enough to practice a floor exercise yet somehow it feels homey with the serenity that comes with the place, despite being situated at the heart of the city. You notice a perfectly mowed courtyard outside the glass walls and the glistening water of the swimming pool at the far edge.

A lady carrying a glass of water and something else wrapped in a plastic bag. Placing the glass on the table, she kneels to where your feet are rested and unwraps the bag. She pulls out a pair of disposable slippers, slips them on your feet and takes your shoes away before you could get a word out.

“_______!” Hoseok calls from above before scurrying down, his own slippers flicking against the staircase noisily. His arms reach out for a hug but pulls them back just as fast, realizing it would’ve been too awkward this early in your friendship (that he secretly hopes will blossom into something more). You don’t put much thought into it, waving at him in greeting instead. “Have you eaten breakfast yet?” You give him a nod in reply.

“Oh…you should eat breakfast again then!” You decline his offer, assuring him that you just had a heavy breakfast. Okay, you may or may not have grabbed a single sandwich off someone else’s plate on your way out, after spending too much time trying to look presentable. Hoseok won’t have any of your protests, so he drags you to the kitchen by the hand, “Hobi!” There’s a slight chill that runs through you when his skin touches yours, his slender fingers enveloping your short ones.

Hoseok leads you to the dining room where there’s enough food prepared for a family of ten. He checks each container then back at you, inspecting your features like he’s morphed into Gordon Ramsay. Hoseok is still holding your hand by the time he brings you to the kitchen and quite frankly you don’t want him to stop.

Another lady in the identical scrub suit greets him as you both enter, her lips forming a small smile when she sees your hands together. Her eyes meet yours when she asks Hoseok if he needed anything. “Just wanted to see what ______ wanted to eat.” Your head shakes to say ‘no’ but Hoseok sees this as the complete opposite. “She’s just shy.” You send her an apologetic smile when he drags you once more around the marble countertop to face a four-door fridge that towers the both of you easily.

This damn thing is a whole supermarket! The stored food could make up the whole color wheel. He points out five different cheeses, fruits cut into bits and stowed away in containers, multiple bottles of water, milk, and juice. Hoseok even lets you inside their pantry, where stacks of food and beverages make up at least seven full shelves inside. To Hoseok it seems like he’s just offering you food, but to you it feels like he’s taking you to the grocery.

The curious voice at the back of your head is telling you to give in to the temptation but your mother’s voice appears out of nowhere, her voice ringing in your ears – “They’re nice, but don’t abuse their generosity.” Your stomach grumbles, voicing its opinion so you settle on a compromise. “Um, there already seems to be plenty of food at the table and unless they’re for someone else…” “Are you sure? Mom felt homesick so she cooked all of those this morning. Although I doubt you’re familiar with Korean food – they can be a bit spicy. I know you don’t like spicy food.”

Your heart warms at the thought of him remembering the little things but then you recall how his mother made all those just because she felt homesick – your mom won’t even cook two dishes for dinner and Mrs. Jung is out here cooking a whole feast for no one in particular just because she wants to lift her spirits. “I don’t like spicy food but it doesn’t mean I can’t handle it,” you start “and I’m sure you mom’s cooking is lovely.”

“Breakfast it is then.”

You agree on Mrs. Jung’s specialty – her kimchi fried rice while Hoseok asks the lady for bibimbap. She nods curtly, returning to the kitchen to reheat the food. When the lady serves Hoseok the steaming bowl of his favorite dish, Hoseok consequently whispers in your ear, “Don’t tell them, but I like yours better.” He follows that with a roguish wink. You blink owlishly in return, unsure whether your cheeks are burning because of the steam from the bowl in front of you or because of Hoseok’s comment.

The lady serves Hoseok a steaming bowl of bibimbap, to which Hoseok consequently whispers in your ear, “Don’t worry I like yours better.”

;

Hoseok tiredly rubs at his eyes, deeming he’s done enough schoolwork for the day, taking a turn on his swivel chair. When you check the time displayed on the upper right corner of your laptop, it’s been three hours since breakfast with Hoseok. And, surprisingly, the amount of schoolwork you’ve done is twice as much as you achieve when you’re partnered with Nadia. You’ll have to rub this in her face on Monday.

Hoseok’s habits had prevailed over your cramming and you’re glad that time had passed in productivity. Then again, you had been too shy to open up about other topics when he’s right beside you, typing away furiously the whole time. When you take a glance on his screen, it seems like he’s already written a whole page while you’re stuck with a paragraph that screams disappointment.

“_______, you okay?” You hadn’t realized you’ve been staring at your paragraph of shame for so long.

“Uh, yeah, of course.” Closing your laptop quickly before he gets a peek, you move your own chair away from his desk, stretching out your limbs. Suddenly, you feel an all-too-familiar ache in your lower abdomen and you panic, checking the mini calendar on Hoseok’s desk. Damn, how could you not have realized it’s the last week of the month? And on top of all that, you had to be in another person’s house of all days, wearing a bloody dress! (pun may or may not have been intended)

“Um, can I use your toilet for a minute?”

He looks your way and nods. You panic a little bit when his eyes never leave yours, ensuing a staring contest between the both of you. A beat passes and he shrugs at you, returning his attention to his phone.

You don’t realize you’ve been holding in your breath when he door finally clicks behind you. Twirling in your dress, you search for any stain. There’s a small one, perhaps a few inches long, the red taint an obvious contrast against your yellow dress.

Grabbing a roll of tissue nearby, you place a few sheets under the water until it’s wet enough. Hastily, you rub it against the stain until the tissue tears into pieces. You repeat the process, jumping in victory when the stain starts discoloring. You even squeeze a dollop of liquid soap on your dress in the hopes of making the stain go away.

All your efforts prove to be in vain when the stain doesn’t lighten any further than the very visible brownish spot at the back of your dress.

Your hands are turning red from all the scrubbing and your chest is heaving with painful, ragged breaths that come forth. The tissue breaks apart for the nth time now and you try to grab more sheets but your eyes are already blurry, wet, fat tears coating your cheeks.

God, you’re so fucking stupid. How could you not have foreseen something that happens to you on a monthly basis?! All the tell-tale signs were there: abdominal pains, ache, sensitivity… you feel yourself sliding down the wall in embarrassment, an unwanted loud sob escaping your lips.

You hear footsteps padding along the wooden floor of Hoseok’s bedroom. No, please. “________?” You don’t answer. You don’t want to answer. Another sob escapes your lips. “_______, I’m coming in, okay?”

Hoseok instantly crouches down when he sees you sitting on the floor. “Hey, what’s wrong?” You still don’t answer; instead, you look away as you fiddle with your fingers. “You know you can tell me anything right?” He adjusts his legs, now fully seated on the floor. You both stay there in silence, before Hoseok pulls your head to rest on his shoulder, he can’t see your face like this, what could’ve possibly made you so upset, so he just holds you there, his other hand blindly reaching your face to wipe at your cheeks.

Figuring there’s no other way out of this, you gather up your courage. “I-I am on my period…” Your voice is small, yet it reaches Hoseok’s hearing perfectly clear. He still doesn’t get what’s possibly made you cry while on your period. Some girls tend to be more emotional than usual, perhaps, head tilted to the side as he recalls his lessons on human anatomy.

You can practically feel the clogs in Hoseok’s head so you give him a little more detail. “On my back, there’s…something. And I don’t have any extra clothes – gosh, this is beyond embarrassing. You must think I’m gross” Hoseok finally catches on, body stiff at the realization. It wasn’t like he was disgusted (because that would be totally immature) but it was more of lack of knowledge on how to approach situations like these.

He asks if it’s okay for him to call Tita so you can tell her what you need but not before reminding you that such natural process of life was nothing to be ashamed of. “Besides, better late than pregnant, right?” He scurries away afterwards, informing you that he’s going to be picking a nice outfit for you because you’re both going out to meet his mother for lunch at one of his favorite restaurants.

;

You both decide to sit on a nearby bench as you wait. There’s room for at least four people yet Hoseok decides to sit right beside you, your thighs touching, the proximity not lost on you. Surprisingly enough, you don’t feel any awkwardness lingering around, instead, you feel more secured with him beside you like this. Both basking in comfortable silence, save the buzz of the people walking around, Hoseok notices an elderly couple stand close by and he stands abruptly, offering the seat to them. The old lady gushes over him and praises how courteous the young man was. Hoseok stands by your side and looks around the area while the same lady closes the distance between you two. “He’s a keeper,” she whispers, sending a wink your way. Opening your mouth to clarify that you two are just friends, a loud ring from Hoseok’s pocket startles you.

“Hi mom! Yeah, we just arrived…she’s here beside me…what? Okay hang on…” He pulls the phone away from his ear as he presses on the speaker button on the screen. “You’re on speaker now, mom.”

“Oh, hi! _________, sweetie are you there?”

“Hello Mrs. Jung!”

“Great. Um, I’m really sorry about this darling but I really really need to finish this meeting. Hopefully it’ll end in less than an hour though, I hope you don’t mind. I really wanted to take you kids out to lunch today, but if you’re really hungry you can go ahead…I’ve already made reservations at Samwon under Hobi’s name…”

Your eyes widen at her proposal, head shaking vigorously to say no. Surely, it’d be rude to not wait for the person offering you a free meal right? “I really don’t mind waiting Mrs. Jung. Besides, we’ve had plenty of your lovely kimchi fried rice this morning so…”

“Ah, it’s really nothing love, well, at least, if you compare it to my brother’s restaurant. But anyways, I have to get back to the meeting now. How ‘bout I’ll have Hobi treat you to some ice cream or froyo or a something to snack on while you wait, alright?”

“You really don’t have to Mrs. Jung!” Your protests fall into deaf ears.

“Oh shush, darling. Don’t worry about it! And please, call me Auntie from now on, alright?”

“O-okay auntie.” You’re unable to control the slight tremble in your voice from the pet names she’s used and on making her call you auntie. You’re even surprised that she even apologized for not being able to make it on time. Hoseok ends the call soon afterwards. “Come on, I’ll treat you to my favorite frozen yogurt.”

There’s a sudden increase of mall-goers so Hoseok’s hand reaches out to grab yours, another wave of electricity shoots up your arm. Jesus. You’re pretty sure you’re old enough to not lose him in a crowd like this, so all this hand holding isn’t exactly necessary. Not that you were complaining though. You just hope, this time, you’re reading the signs right. The last time this happened, you ended up heartbroken and friendless, and you weren’t willing to go through the same pain again – not with Hoseok who’s genuinely nice and smart, and all the good things you can think of.

You cling onto his hand nonetheless, the crowd increasing because of lunch time. On the bright side, with your heartrate rapidly increasing, you get to miss out on cardio.

Arriving at a small outlet with ‘Sour Sally’ written on top of the shop, Hoseok pulls out a chair for you to sit on while he ponders on the menu plastered on the wall. What in god’s name have you done in your past life for him to torture your poor heart like this. You gaze at Hoseok, he seems unperturbed by his actions while you on the other hand… you internally applaud yourself for maintaining such calm demeanor but in reality, there’s a raging turmoil of emotions inside your head.

Following where his eyes are glued at on the wall, you try to distract yourself from the dangers of a brooding crush. God, you can’t possibly like like him because he opened the door for you, or pull out a chair for you, right? Were you really this…deprived? Just thinking about it gives you a headache. But then again, Hoseok is everything every woman could ever ask for. He’s polite, funny, courteous, smart, and he absolutely adores his family. Admittedly, he’s fucking wealthy too on top of all that but you don’t stick around him because of his money. Then again, it’s the 21st century and life isn’t getting any easier. In case you have a family in the future, it would be nice to know you’re children will be secured for quite some time. Wait, why are you thinking about families in the first place??

You barely notice Hoseok waving a hand in front of you. “Hello? Earth to ______?” he chuckles, his brackets shining under the lighting. “Oh yeah sorry!” you squeak. “You’ve been spacing out since morning, you sure you’re okay?” He bends forward a little, your faces merely inches away from each other. “You know you can talk to me right?” Searching for any doubt in your eyes, he tucks a stray strand of your hair behind your ear.

Fucking hell.

Does he even realize what he’s doing to you?! Your cheeks are practically on fire right now. You’re falling way too deep at an alarming pace. “You know you can talk to me right?” His words echo in your presently empty brain now, unable to think about anything rational. How are you supposed to talk to him when it’s him you want to talk about?

“Do you want anything from the menu? I’d personally recommend my own usual, but I’m really not sure about your froyo preferences…”

“Um don’t they have anything smaller than these?” you ask, pointing to the cups display for size references. “Nope, none really. I guess we can share if you don’t mind, I’ll just get one of the bigger sizes…”

“Good enough for me.”

“You have any particular flavor or topping in mind?”

“I really haven’t been to this place. So I guess I’ll have what you have.” You reach for your purse, grabbing cash amounting to half of the frozen yogurt. “What are you doing?” Hoseok points to the bills you’re holding. “Um, paying for my half?” The boy in front of you shakes his head in refusal, pushing the money towards you.

“It’s on me, _______. No more arguments. Consider this a da-“ Hoseok chokes on his own saliva purposefully, unableto finish his sentence. “A-a day in your cycle right? Don’t girls usually eat ice cream when its that time of the month? I mean this isn’t exactly ice cream, but it’s still frozen right? Ha ha ha. Okay, I’ll just place an order now.” He turns around abruptly, feet quickly moving towards the counter.

Rendered speechless, you just nod in reply. Seconds after he left, you’re still nodding thinking about what just transpired moments ago. He couldn’t have meant it as a date, did he? He did point out about Aunt Flo making a visit today. Perhaps, he meant dare? Who knows if he had been dared to treat someone out? You know you’re blindly grasping at straws here so you just try to divert your attention, and of course, you fail miserably at that as well.

Hoseok takes his wallet from his back pocket and hands a black card to the register. With a few nods, the staff swipes the card through the payment terminal and hands it back to Hoseok. ‘Sugar daddy Hoseok. What a fucking sight.’ Your shoulder devil whispers, drawling out every syllable like her final words. She has your shoulder angel in a headlock, arms flapping around attempting to remove the vice-like grip on her neck.

Thankfully, you manage to get ahold of yourself before Hoseok returns with a large cup with two spoons on either side. “This is the best froyo ever!!” He exclaims, buzzing with excitement. You oblige when he tells you to take the first scoop. You’ve only had the dessert once before this and after that incident, you were totally unwilling to have it for a second time. The first froyo you had was so bad which pretty much clouded over any positive review the dessert had.

Surprisingly enough, Sour Sally’s wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Sure, it looked unappealing at first with the amount of toppings Hoseok included but you reckon it wasn’t so bad after all, plus it looked like a healthier option than ice cream. Hoseok chuckles at your sudden interest and takes his phone out, pretending to respond to someone’s message but he quickly presses on the camera button, snapping a photo of you enjoying the frozen dessert.

He smiles when he goes over the photo, saving it as his home wallpaper.

;

Once you finish the final scoop of the yogurt, Hoseok asks if you can both visit a store he’s been meaning to drop by. There’s really nothing else you wanted to do anyways so you say ‘yes’, resulting to Hoseok excitedly clapping as you exit Sour Sally’s.

You both walk towards the opposite end of the mall, the area prominently less crowded than where you came from. You don’t wonder why. You just passed by Gucci, Versace, and Louis Vuitton on your way and now you’re greeted by Hermes, Alexander McQueen, and Balenciaga when you rounded the corner. You’re not even surprised at this point. In fact, when he told you that he wanted to shop for new shoes, you had already expected this was where you were heading when he made you wear a full Chanel two-piece ensemble that his sister “barely” wears.

Hoseok makes a beeline to Balenciaga. Of course - the boy was basically its brand ambassador. When you enter, some of the staff greet him by his name. “Mr. Hoseok, welcome back!” They astonishingly greet you with the same level of enthusiasm with Hoseok. You figure it’s probably courtesy of Hoseok’s fashion choices. He tells you to look around while he approaches someone who looks like the store manager.

The manager and Hoseok already seem to share the same brainwave and without talking, the former leads to Hoseok to a corner where the sneakers are displayed. Realizing you were probably looked awkward, standing stiffly by a display, you let your feet move you around, stopping to look at a few hung clothes.

While carding through the clothes, you discreetly check the price tags, your stomach dropping every time. 1,500 dollars for a bloody jacket?! They had gold sewn into the denim perhaps? Or diamond - encrusted collars? A girl’s voice startles you from your supposedly ‘discreet’ inspection. “Can I help you with anything, miss?”

“Oh, I’m just looking. It’s my friend who’s doing the shopping.”

“Oh, okay. By the way, I’m not sure if I should be doing this, but you seem so nice and approachable compared to the other girls that usually visit our shop… I really like your outfit and I think you and Mr. Hoseok look really cute together,” she squeaks before walking away to tidy a few displays. When she meets your eyes again, you send her a small smile and you see a faint blush coloring her cheeks.

You hear Hoseok call you over, colossal shoes occupying both his hands. “Which colorway should I pick?” You do a double take at the pairs he’s holding up. They honestly looked like a stack of pancakes that toppled over. Undoubtedly, they definitely looked striking, like a rebellious fashion statement. He holds up his left hands, clutching onto a brown pair with shades of blue and red and his other hand holding another with hues of green and white.

Choosing the one on his left hand, Hoseok nods in agreement mumbling something about how great minds think alike. He tells the manager to get him one in his size. The manager complies and, in the meantime, Hoseok brings you to a display near the one you were checking out earlier. He asks you to help him pick out an outfit to go with the shoes. It doesn’t take much for Hoseok to decide on choosing the clothes. You tell him your honest opinion that he would literally look good in anything, resulting in a rosy-cheeked Hoseok heading to the register to check out his items.

Soon after Hoseok collects his purchases, his phone dings, so he puts down the three bags before fishing his phone out of his pocket. “Mom says she’ll be there in five. Shall we?”

Three floors and a long walk back to another of the mall’s annexes later, you finally arrive at Samwon Garden. “Hi. We have a reservation under Hoseok Jung.” The maître d goes over the list, brows soon furrowing in confusion. “I’m really sorry Sir, but the table reserved for you had been given to another customer an hour ago. We only allow an extra of fifteen minutes when your name gets called. If you’d like, I can write your name on the list again, but that would probably take another thirty minutes before you get seated.”

“Oh, really? I guess…”

“Mr. Hoseok!” A man in a suit approaches you with hurried steps. “Mr. Hoseok,” he repeats with a breathy laugh. “I truly apologize for that. Please come with me, your private room is ready.” The man lets you take a few steps forward as he momentarily stays with the maître d. “That’s not how you treat the nephew of the owner of this restaurant, unless you want to lose your job today.” He whispers harshly, and your eyes widen. You’re unsure if Hoseok heard that but he seems too preoccupied with the other staff that welcome him to the restaurant.

The manager rushes forward after scolding the maître d. He offers to carry Hoseok’s shopping bags and leads you two to a secluded area. “Your food is already being prepared Sir,” he bows, setting the bags down and pulling out the chairs. “Is there anything I can get you miss?”

“A glass of water would be nice, please.” “Of course, Ma’am. Would you please excuse me.”

Hoseok’s mother arrive a few minutes later. Once again, she apologizes for making you wait. The three of you don’t waste any more time, going straight to eating. “I love your outfit, dearie,” Mrs. Jung compliments, flipping the searing meat on the grill. “Um Hobi actually made me wear this.” Confused, she looks at her son for an explanation. “She uhh…Her um…she had to change, lady problems…” Her mouth forms an ‘o’ in realization, thankfully picking up quickly. “Are you okay sweetheart? Do you take painkillers? They have great ice cream here; I’ll have it served for dessert later.”

She bombards you with questions that you don’t get the chance to answer all of them. You assure her though that you’re fine, that Hoseok has helped you plenty earlier this morning. She beams at her son, even teasing him that he’ll be the best boyfriend any girl could ever wish for. Hoseok turns crimson at his mom’s teasing, stealing the slice of meat she’s been cooking as revenge.

The three of you continue eating and sharing stories like that for almost an hour. For the most part, she’s mainly told you of Hoseok’s most embarrassing moments, sharing at least ten years’ worth of blackmail content. Hoseok, who’s sat beside you the whole time continues to crumble in his seat with every story. Your stomach was aching so much, both from laughing and eating. After the ice cream dessert Mrs. Jung promised you, she calls for the bill. Trying to stop your eyes from bulging out of their sockets, you look away from the receipt – 400 dollars staring back at you in big, bold numbers on the narrow sheet of paper. You wanted to cry.

Mrs. Jung says she doesn’t intend to stay any longer for she has another meeting to attend to today so she leaves you both with a kiss on the cheek and a reminder to drive back home safely. “Shit, I think I ate too much!” Hoseok sighs, rubbing at his tummy and letting out a loud burp in the process. Both of you stare at each other for a second before bursting into peals of laughter.

Yours seem to die down far longer than Hoseok’s and he takes the time to truly take youin today. He was nervous for the most part, that he had to admit. He tossed and turned in his bed last night, seemingly unable to sleep when the thought of you coming over has preoccupied his mind. He’s even tried drinking two glasses of warm milk, read a chapter from his history book, and in complete desperation, he’s even counted sheep, literally. It doesn’t help either that he woke up incredibly early today, only acquiring three hours of sleep the previous night.

He’s cleaned his room when he came home from practice yesterday and he’s cleaned it again this morning, not that his room needed cleaning anyways. He also asked his mom if she could help him cook breakfast this morning to which she happily agreed. So, the whole ‘homesick’ thing was only half a lie. Well, it was because she was homesick that she made way too much, but the idea was initially Hoseok’s.

He wasn’t supposed to drag you to breakfast that morning but the treacherous grumble of your stomach told him you were still hungry so he held your hand and showed you around the kitchen, asking you what kind of breakfast you’d prefer. Hoseok particularly enjoyed having your hand in his and he knew he was talking too much earlier that day but he had to divert his attention to prevent his hand from trembling.

When he heard you sniffle in the toilet earlier, he panicked; worried that something might have happened to you out of the blue. You wouldn’t take your eyes off the floor from embarrassment and he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around yours. It wrenched his heart to see you sob like that, so he just kept you close until you finally told him your dilemma.  

He totally understood that it was a natural occurrence for girls and even reassured you that it was totally nothing to be embarrassed about. He didn’t ask you for any word after that, immediately sending one of their house helpers to help you out. He didn’t have the guts to go through his sister’s toiletries so he left that dilemma with someone who could handle the situation better aka Tita. He did pick out an outfit for you to wear though, going through endless hangers of Dawon’s clothes.

Picking something comfortable and warm, he pulls out this Chanel turquoise wool tweed two-piece and a white top to go under the blazer. ‘This’ll probably look cute on her,’ he thinks, carrying the set to Dawon’s beloved vanity mirror and spraying an adequate amount of her Estee Lauder perfume all over the clothes. When he grabbed the ensemble, he was thinking something along the lines of a fluffy-cute-girlfriend style going on but when you came out of the bathroom, he found it impossible to take his eyes off you.

Turns out, the white top he gave you was a crop top, the garment exposing a little bit of your midriff. And those shorts! Jesus! He’d taken a mental note to spoil you with Chanel if…when you become his. He’s already seen you in shorts during practice before but he really didn’t have time to appreciate the beauty of it all. Your skin contrasts beautifully against the bluish-green wool, and it’s hem is enough to display your toned thighs and calves in all its glory. Years of tennis had definitely done you well.

He turns away, internally scolding himself for his behavior. He feels sick for having perved on you like that, pushing away all the indecent thoughts before they consume him whole.

His heart was soaring the whole time you sat next to him inside the car, the whole scene making him giddy. You were quiet at first, Hoseok being able to steal glances during red lights. Moments later, when Celine Dion came in the radio you were belting out the lyrics to “My Heart Will Go On” with notes he’s never heard before. The boy even pulled over just to capture this iconic moment with his phone, not long before you goad him to join you as you both scream like lunatics inside the vehicle. His voice teacher will be disappointed, surely, but it all worth it just to see you this happy.

Hoseok knew he was falling in deep. Being with you just felt…right. Even with you doing the most mundane of tasks, he found you incredibly endearing. It was driving him close to madness. He wanted to ask you to be his, to make him the happiest guy on earth, for the rest of his life. Most times it felt like he was crazy for thinking about this while you both still had a life ahead of you - that it was too serious to think about for a teenager, but then he ponders on his cousin’s wise words. “What’s the point of being in a relationship if it’s not going to end in a wedding?”

“What are you thinking about Hobi?” you question, putting him out of his thoughts.

It was your turn to ask him this time as you can’t tell why been staring at you for the past minute. “Nothing,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his head. “Ah! Which reminds me, wanna check out the new laser tag place they opened last week?” You’re unsure about this, after having eaten like a starved caveman, but with Hobi looking at you with a pout, you can’t say no.

“Come on,” you give in. “We gotta burn everything we ate for lunch!”

[voidselfshipp]

Depth Strider

Summary: the team fortress mercs gain the attention of an unlikely diety

Pt2:

Chapter 1:

Depht strider

/~~~~~~\

Was she really going to do it?

She sits there on her motorcycle, as the sun sets, looking at the water that rocked softly against the cliff.

Was she really going to intervene?

She tugs at the hem of the fluffy jackets neck, she was running out of time to make a decision.

Of course she was going to.

She takes off the jacket and stretches taking a run to the water, diving head first with her clothes all draped in water.

The bubbles from her breath Rise up to the waters surface.

The tides come to life as a roar expands in the water like a soundwave.

Her pupils contracts, Forming a reptile like appereance with her emerald eyes, shining softly unbothered by the water.

Her soft thin hands are now deep dark red coloured scaly claws.

Her legs seem of an animal as she strides through the water feeling her wings impulsing her through the dephts of australians ocean.

Oh no, the submarine is already there.

She headbutts it making a dent in the carcass.

Her nose,that became smaller,Like a snout, sniffs something.

Blood.

--Oh fuck!--her voice is distorted, thanks to the water.

She swims under the submarine trying to find a way to claw her way in.

Its a miracle that she hasnt been detected yet.

Her claws dig into the metal exterior holding for dear life as the big submarine impulses through the Ocean.

She can barely hear whats going on.

She needs to find a way in.

Jerico sighs ,when was the last time she attempted this?.

A small jellyfish seems to casually swim towards her, and sticks close to her.

And then the submarine trembles as a huge wave cracked, then the weather Turned badly.

A storm fell on the sea without mercy.

A friendly orca casually helps jerico to jump to an Open hatch.

And as soon as she gets in a mist of evaporated water envolves the room shes in, drying her.

The place is still rocky, her aunt and sister knew how to put up a show.

Everybody in there was freaking out,a perfect moment for her to sneak in the ventilation system.

She needs to Freed them first.

/~~~~~~~\

Hot summer wind hit teufort hard.

That same day,the team of mercenaries disbanded, as their employers died misteriously.

They all went their separate ways, apparently.

Before that however everyone decided to have one last beer togheter

Yes, even spy.

They were being loud, acting as if they all cared for eachother,they did, just they didnt show it to the others.

There,in the corner of a bar, a woman,Drank from her beer while looking at the men in the bar, one of them failed once again to flirt with the female barista.

Jerico felt bad for that guy.

So, she stood up, and Walked over the barista.

Okay jerico, you dads dorky charm needs to work on this Lady.

She cracks her knuckles,leaning over the bar.

The same female barista approaches her.

Jerico returns the smile--Hey,I was just sitting over there--she points with her gaze back at the corner she was sitting-- and couldnt help but just, look at you, I really like how you styled your hair today!

The baristas cheeks turn bright Pink,sttutering over her words-- o oh th thank you!you you also look very cute today!

Jeri giggles, well, im sure youve got more work to do, but how about you give this guy a chance,or if you dont want to, maybe give a chance to me ~

And what do you know?, the barista took some minutes off to talk to the guy sitting with the other men.

--Not only that girl Is a miracle worker but a saint-- a french Man said.

The guy looks at him, and scowls--Go to hell spy...

Jer looks at the men interact from afar,toying with the piece of paper the barista gave her with her number on it.

The old von terra charm never gets old!.

Its now around five pm, and she hears curses from outside the bar as she exists

That same Group of men seem to have some troubles with their car.

--Need help folks?--She asks, hands holding her motorcycle helmet.

--Im sorry --That same guy she acted as a wingman back at the bar said-- I dont see how a Lady like you can know about cars.

'Spy' slaps his arm--scout,thats no way to talk to a Lady

'Lady my ass' she thinks.

--But we'd appreciate the help--the french Man says.

Jerico smiles,that radiant smile of hers is enough to make some of them flustered--Great lemme see--She shoves her helmet to Scouts hands--hold this for me sweet-talker.

She goes under the car, and makes a tiny exclamation sound, then they hear a tiny clicking sound.

--Okay try it now

Spy gears up the car,it sounds as beautiful as it did before

--Mon dieu-- he says under his breath

By that time jer was already standing besides him--Merci mon chéri --the Man kisses the back of her hand while holding it.

Yet he sees nothing but a sweet kind smile, and somehow no blush.

--No need to thank me

She then moves on to the other Mans van.

--mundy is a bit stingy with his van, treat her like a baby -- a Man with a Texas accent said as he opened the vans hood.

--I Will, my dad was a mechanic, so I know what cars can mean to people, altough im alright if he wants to guide me through it, I mean it seems like its very personal so,I dont want to screw thing up

Jerico was indeed a miracle worker because for once Mundy, aka,sniper talked to another human being without sounding awkward

Scout just mouthes 'what the fuck' as the rest of the mercenaries watch their awkward teammate becoming a chatterbox with the misterious Lady helping them.

After ten minutes its all done, and they are good to go

--oi, thanks Sheila--mundy says, scratching the back of his neck.

--Dont mention it--jeri smiles.

--i dont want to sound weird but,whats your name?

--Jerico, jerico von terra

--Thanks jerico--the Man blushes, thank the god that his texan friend decided to help him.

--Come on we gon be late!

--Im coming Dell im coming!

And so the aussie Man, walks to the van and they drive off.

Jer puts on her helmet and drives just behind them,without them noticing.

They peeked her interest.

And what a rowdy bunch they were.

And so for the past months she has been following the other in each corner they went.

Scout,never shuts up.

Spy is a bit too classy.

The texan Man, Dell is very Smart and sweet.

Sniper, seemed awkward, and he was, but while he was on a supply shopping spree she saw the tiniest hint of his good heart.

But then there was this other Man, a cheeky German doctor, who liked to play god.

She remembers when was the first time they actually spoke.

He was still in América, going to a café by himself one day.

She decided to follow him, asking herself if he found it,would he find her creepy?

But as she was, the goddess of willpower, had low tolerance for people who berrated someone or made fun of other people.

She didnt like bullies at all.

The german Man had odd manners and behaviour , jerico wasnt weirded out, after what her family has got going on nothing surprises her.

That day at the café however , her temperamento got the best of her.

A Man taller than the german doctor,who his teammates reffered to him as 'Medic' , pushed Him--You should look where youre stepping, freak

Medic could fend off for himself, but jerico was faster than him.

--How about you say sorry for bumping into him?

Jeri came behind medic with her arms crossed.

--What is he?your boyfriend?--the Bully asked

She chuckles and looks at the german Man with a Sly smile--Hes very handsome, he could be my boyfriend, but you,poor you Will die alone with that assholness of yours

The Man didnt seem to take that too Kindly,he tried to slap her but her hand catched her wrist.

--i May be using a skirt but trust me boy I can kick your ass in more ways than you can imagine,lets make this easy shall we?

Yet the Man didnt want to make nice, he tried to hit her, to break free.

--Ill take that as a no

Medic was too amused so he sat back with a huge grin on his face.

And low and behold jerico did kick the bullies ass.

She twisted his wrist,the german doctor swore he could hear cracking as she did so, quickly positioning behind the Man and hitting behind his knees making him fall, jer still had a strong grip around his wrist,her foot stomped on his back , keeping him down.

--Leave.

Her voice is strong and firm,she lets go and the Man runs away, tripping in the main road.

Medic laughs trying to seem somewhat sane.

--May I repay you zhe favour my dear?

And so they stayed over, sitting in a quiet corner and chatting.

He was very charming,And actually got some giggles out of her.

But of course not everything can be fun and happy.

[ninzied]

another kind of goodbye

for @carry-the-sky. happy birthday, my friend! have a little post-cancellation kastle fic.

It’s three months, give or take, when Frank lets himself think about her again. Really think about her. Not in the passing kind of way, where he’s walking down some street and sees a bouquet of gardenias, like the kind he’d almost gotten her instead of the roses that day. Or when he’s sipping on coffee, and Karen’s face flashes like a mirage at him across the cheap Formica table – blonde hair almost white under the shit diner lighting, but those eyes still so blue as she told him he would never lie to her.

So – okay, so he thinks about her. He thinks about her.

(He wonders if she—)

Frank eventually makes his way back to the city again, after. Another day, another job. Madani thinks he’s meant for something greater than this – than picking off these scum-of-the-earth kinds of assholes that litter the streets of a place like New York.

He can’t believe that he was meant for greater, but. Sometimes, he does wonder. If a part of him – whatever part of him that’s not still buried deep down in the ground with his family – was meant to come back here. To walk these streets and feel the pull of her, always, even when that’s all he can afford to feel.

He tells himself that has to be enough.

He’s been laying low, since his return. Coughed up some cash for a three-hundred-square-footer in Brooklyn, but he crosses the bridge to the city most days, maybe even finds his way to Hell’s Kitchen from time to time too. It’s risky, he knows. If Murdock catches wind of him, they’d be lucky to walk away from each other in one piece. And Karen…

There’d be a different kind of hell to pay, if Karen ever found out.

His phone gives a single buzz in his pocket as he’s hunkering his way down 47th, and he stops in his tracks, nearly colliding with an elderly woman in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Excuse me!” she says in a shrill voice, bag clutched tight to her chest.

“Apologies, ma’am,” he nods as she makes a show of putting as much distance between them as possible, and then he fishes his phone out, hesitating for one absurd moment before glancing down at the screen.

Back in town yet, Castle?

He barks out a laugh. Chrissakes, Madani.

His phone buzzes again.

I have a job for you, if you’re still interested.

“Still,” mutters Frank, with a scoffing shake of his head. He thinks he admires her perseverance, but Madani’s gotta know she’s only wasting her breath.

He cuts south down 10th, toward Lincoln Tunnel. It’s a brisk day, and the wind on his face feels sharper than usual, considering he hasn’t bled much there in a while. He jams his hands deeper into his pockets, ignoring the insistent drone of Madani’s follow-up call.

He’s got a date with a park bench on the wrong side of town, and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend it’s the same bridge overlooking the water, and when he opens them again Karen’ll be there, waiting for him.

…

His closest call comes with, of all people, the lawyer. Not Red – the other one. Franklin Nelson.

Frank’s emerging with coffee two storefronts down just as another door opens, and he’s cursing himself for not seeing the signs when out tumbles Nelson with his back turned, adjusting his tie against the wind.

“Foggy bear, wait!” someone else is laughing, and a blonde lady steps out to chase after him, slinging a purse over her shoulder and reaching with her other hand to link around his elbow.

“I told him this was gonna make me late for work,” grumbles Nelson, but without any heat to the words. “Dad’s surprise party isn’t until tomorrow, don’t know why this couldn’t have waited – oh, crap, I forgot I told Karen I’d pick up some coffee—”

Nelson’s about-facing sharply, girlfriend following closely behind. He doesn’t appear to notice Frank crouched down in a corner by the 7-Eleven, hood obscuring half his face as he trains his eyes on the ground by their feet. The girl unearths some coins from her bag as they pass, clinking them onto the lid of Frank’s coffee cup without seeming to hear his low mutter of thanks.

He’s leapt up the moment he hears the door latch shut, brushing the coins into his palm as he goes.

He leaves them with a guy camped out by the train stop, a dog lifting her head from their blankets to blink sleepy eyes up at Frank, and he walks away harder, takes the steps two at a time and wishes – God he wishes—

…

Another text from Madani.

He shuts his phone off. Goes back to retrieve it ten seconds later from the trash can that he’d dumped it in, wiping it down and scowling as her message pops up on the screen.

Castle – offer still stands, FYI.

“You should call her back,” advises a man huddled down by the newsstands next to him. His face is like leather, worn down and weathered with age, with living. “Apologize for whatever it is that you did, so you don’t end up out here like me.”

“Already there,” Frank tells him, turning the phone over and over in his hand. Madani’s message lights up again each time, flashing and flashing until he sees it like a burn through his retinas even when the phone’s no longer facing him.

“Damn. That’s a damn shame.” The guy shifts, scratching at a spot on his back. “Maybe shouldn’t’ve stayed away from her for so long.”

Frank shakes his head, uttering a short, incredulous laugh. “Well, maybe I got my reasons, yeah? You think about that?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” shrugs the guy. “Does she think they’re any good? These reasons of yours?”

Frank turns away, jaw working furiously.

“Yeah.” The guy shouldn’t have any right to sound as smug as he does, and yet. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

…

He’s got no place in coming here. He knows it. He knows it, but he thinks it was always meant to be this way, him circling back around to her, even after everything that he’s done to push her away. Maybe a part of him had never left. And the rest is just – there, hovering right at the edge of some sharp realization, that he could try to be whole again if he simply took that first step. And a part of Karen must at least sense that. It’s why she’d never really given up on him, before.

It doesn’t change how I feel about you.

Frank wonders if she’d forgive him this time. If he’d even want her to.

It wouldn’t be anything close to what he deserves, that’s for goddamn sure.

He gazes up at her fire escape, counts the number of steps it would take just to be able to reach that bottom rung from his vantage point across the street. Her shades are drawn, the lines of them blurred out in the dim orange light. On one corner of the windowsill, wedged up against the glass, there’s a small stack of books. On the other, a vase. From this angle, the shadows folded into the fabric of her curtains look almost like flower stems.

Frank squints, and the stems disappear.

…

There’s about a week in between, where he feels himself inching closer to something, each time he drops by her block. He never goes farther than the patch of sidewalk across from her building, but it’s getting harder not to just careen over the ledge.

More than anything, he wishes he knew, in those moments obscured in half-darkness, whether he’s come to look for that after she’d spoke of, or if he’s come to say goodbye.

Then, one day he spots flowers in her window, for the first time since—

(They’re pale white against the cream of her curtains, their stems dark slivers of green, and he imagines them pricking the pad of his thumb, drawing up a spot of blood.)

Frank takes a deep breath.

…

She doesn’t look surprised to see him when she opens the door, swinging it back two-thirds of the way before stopping. Her lips are pressed tightly together, like there’s too much to say, or maybe there’s things that she can’t, either way he can’t read her and he thinks she’s never terrified him more.

Frank drops his gaze, mouth moving soundlessly until the words grind their way out. “How’d you know I was here, Karen?”

He’s not sure what kind of answer he’s expecting. That Nelson had grown a real pair of eyes, or that Red had managed to ferret him out of his lurking somehow. Or maybe Karen really just hadn’t known at all, and those flowers were never for him.

What Karen says instead is, “Dinah and I grab a beer together, sometimes.”

“That right?” he asks, trying to lay out an image of this in his mind. It sits strangely there, stumping him for a moment, and some of his bewilderment must show on his face because Karen’s mouth almost turns up in a smile before flattening again.

She leans away from the doorjamb, waving her hand in a worn-looking gesture before letting it drop to her side. “Besides, you…haven’t exactly been subtle, in your haunting of Hell’s Kitchen.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, other than a gruff, “’S’what dead men do, Karen,” as she folds her arms and sighs at him.

“You sure you’re not just losing your touch, Frank?” She steps into the doorway, whether to move closer to him or to block him out of her apartment, he can’t tell. “Or was it because you wanted me to know but couldn’t tell me to my face?”

His eyes snap up to hers, twitching slightly under the sharp weight of her gaze. He shakes his head, wishing he could just ask her, What do you want from me, Karen? but they’re long past that now, and if he can’t find his own way to answer her, then.

God, he really doesn’t deserve this woman.

“I think I—” He shifts his body and tries again. “I think I needed to figure some things out. Karen. I was waiting 'til I felt like I was ready, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that.” But I’m here, he wants to say, but I’m here.

“Yeah.” Karen’s nodding, hair falling into her face, and she brushes it back, resting her chin in her palm for a moment. “I know that, Frank.” All of the fight in her seems to have ebbed slowly back, and he resists the urge to reach out and shake the storm back into motion, to make her understand she doesn’t get to let him off the hook so easy.

The look she gives him now is softer, but he knows. Fight’s not done. May never be done. And he knows this because he knows he’ll never stop fighting for her.

She’s stepped back into the door, letting it swing open further. She doesn’t invite him in, but she’s quirked an eyebrow up at him, biting her lip with another deep sigh and a shake of her head.

“You, uh.” Frank glances back and forth at their surroundings, doesn’t quite meet her eye. Tries to lighten his tone through the gruffness as he asks her, “So, you wanted to see me?”

Her voice is soft, forbearing, with a hint of gentle knowing behind it. “You didn’t?”

She’s holding back the clear start of a smile from him this time, and Frank. Christ. It’s taking everything in him not to step toward her, to—

Karen tilts her chin at him, the motion loosening another wave of blonde hair, and he can’t remember anymore why he was trying so hard to stand back from all this. He’s moving, swaying forward until she’s just an arm’s length away, and there’s something almost teasing about the way she relaxes her shoulder into the door as she watches him.

“You back to kill some people, Frank?”

He feels a corner of his mouth turn up. This girl. He licks his lips, lets out a quiet sort of laugh. “That was the plan, yeah.”

Karen gazes up at him, unblinking. “Have you?”

“I was—” Frank has to look away for a moment, finally turning back when he can. His eyes are steady, boring into hers, voice low and full with meaning. “I was. Working on it.”

Karen nods. Doesn’t speak for long seconds, and he measures them out in heartbeats, chest tightening hard enough it feels like it might break when she asks him, very carefully, “Still?”

Frank steps closer, close enough to feel the way her breath shakes with a small sigh, how her body moves away from the door to meet him.

His hand is inches from hers, but he doesn’t reach for her. Not yet.

She waits, gaze searching. He gives the barest shake of his head, and a single word, gravel-filled, a promise. “No.”

Something cracks open in her expression, and it means everything to him, her head ducking away as though she can’t have him looking too closely at the way she's biting back that smile of hers, and he thinks – he thinks he wants to make her do it again, and again, for as long as she will have him.

“Would you like to come in, Frank?”

He takes her hand in his this time, feeling the pull of her as he steps across the threshold, door shutting firmly behind them, and it feels like coming home.

[modharlow]

Today was one of those days again. The sky looked stormy yet shed no rain, the sun barely peeking out for a second before sheltering itself away. People were bustling about to do their everyday work, all seeming to enjoy themselves. Oh, how you wish that were you, but alas it was not. No, you were out here, passing through Valentine, because some sorry excuse of a father left the camp again. “Probably drunk off his ass again.” You lowly hissed out.

When Charles came up to Dutch and reported the missing man, the leaders eyes happened to fall on you to retrieve him. Fortunately he also sent Arthur with you. “I trust you kid,” Dutch started off as he lead you to your horse, “but not enough to believe you won’t kick Mr. Swanson’s ass.”

Well… at least he was cautious because he was right. If it had been just you, you would’ve beat the man black and blue—mostly out of anger but if you happen to fix whatever the hell was going on in that mans brain then that’d work fine too.

It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve lied hands on him, though you never want “too far”. Given everything he’d done, or hasn’t done for better words, you going easy on him was a mercy.

”Aw, now now, little birdy,” Arthur’s voice cut through your thoughts, “I know that face. Don’t tell me you plannin’ on killin’ him this time?” His tone was joking but you couldn’t help the silent “and if I do?” that came out.

Letting out a whistle, the outlaw adjusted his hat. “You ever gonna tell me what’s the bad blood between you two?”

”On my deathbed, maybe.”

”Don’t be like that.” He replied, his tone growing soft. “He’s still your father. Doesn’t help that he’s always drunk, I know, but he’s tryin’.”

You swore you’ve never felt such hot rage boil deep inside your veins. Your knuckles turned white from your grip in the horses’ reins and your teeth clenched down to prevent you from shouting at your friend. “Arthur,” your voice was tense, just like your body, “don’t be defendin’ that man when you’ve no reason.”

The ride was silent now, save for the goodhearted people that said hello to either of you as you passed, until you both made it out of town.

Arthur let out a long sigh before taking lead and changing the direction you both were going. “C’mon, we’re gonna talk this out, you ‘nd me.”

”Arthur-”

”We’ll find him, trust me. We always do. Right now you just need to explain to me why the hell you hate his guts so much when neither of you even look at each other.”

You took note at the new destination. It was somewhere away from the roads, perfect for a private talk.

Now it was your turn to let out a long sigh. You didn’t say anything until you both ended up by some trees. From there Arthur got off his horse and motioned for you to do the same. When you did he sat both you down at the foot of a tree, perfectly protected from prying ears and the possible rain if it were to happen.

Leaning his head against the tree, Arthur spoke. “When you joined our camp you were so happy, so giddy. You didn’t have a care in the world. It was… nice. A nice change of pace.”

”I was young then. I didn’t understand anythin’.”

”What makes you think you understand now?”

Scoffing, you turned away from him brought your knees to your chest. Silently, you said, “I understand enough to know he’s a dead-beat dad.”

”Feel like elaboratin’?”

It became silent again. The horses were eating grass as the tree swayed itself side-to-side, birds flying overhead in a mixture of dull colors. All were unaware of the grief and burning hatred you held inside.

Taking in a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth, you started to pick at the dirt and rocks in the ground. “I was four when mama died.” You breathed out. “I didn’t know that’s what it was. Just thought she was nappin’, y’know? She’d always seemed so… tired.” You faintly turned to face Arthur. “Was like she lost her light.” A soft chuckle filled the moment. “Guess in the end… she did, huh?”

”I’m… Listen, I-”

”You wanna know how she died, Arthur?” You were facing him now, your face calm yet the grip you had on a spare rock from the ground said otherwise. “She used the exact mechanisms my father’s usin’ right now.” You turned your attention to the rock in your hands, fingers nimbly toying with it. “Turns out, you know, that she didn’t want a child. She wanted to be free… but was tied down because of me—and dad? Oh, well, he had his teachings to do. No, he could never come home on time or spend some moments with his only kid.” You tossed the rock away from you, your eyes narrowing to keep yourself at bay. “Don’t think he wanted a child either.”

”Now that ain’t true.” Arthur interjected before flinching slightly at your glare yet not faltering. “I dunno about your mama but Reverend loves you.”

”If he loved me then why the hell are we out here having to look for his sorry ass?!” You yelled, getting up from your spot and walking away a few steps. “If he loved me then why was he never there for me? When men would be lookin’ at me weirdly, or when kids would hurt me ‘cause I only had one parent? What about when I was almost kidnapped ‘cause his dumbass had a damn “meeting” to go too, huh?”

Arthur got up too with his hands held up in surrender as he took careful steps towards you. “Easy now. It’s okay. You’re okay.” But his words fell on deaf ears as you let your pent up emotions explode inside you.

”I was six when I learned what death was. I tried killin’ myself, then tried again a few months later. I was eight when I tried to talk to him only for him to push me away. I was nine when I ran away before comin’ back. It’s funny, you know, ‘cause it was like he didn’t notice I was gone.” You swallowed down the sob that desparely wanted to come out, instead letting whimpers leave your mouth. “I was fourteen when I realized he didn’t care for me. He never did, he only worries about himself—if you can even call whatever he’s doin’, “worrying”.”

You furiously wiped at your eyes, teeth eating away at your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying more. “Arthur. Arthur, I’m bein’ honest when I say this,” you took in a shaky breath, “I’ve dreamt of killin’ him. I’ve always felt free when I did it, too. It felt so refreshin’ to me. Was like chains were melted off and I could finally run again. It’s a feelin’ I chase after every time we have to look for him.”

When you looked up at Arthur with those vulnerable eyes, he was at a loss for words. He thinks back to his own memories of you being that happy-go-lucky kid he grew up with and felt his chest tighten. So was that all a facade so you could hide away your pain? How had he not noticed to sooner? Did anyone else know? Dutch? Hosea? You were close to those two but… did you ever really let them in?

”I’m… I’m sorry, I…” Those were not the words he wanted to say. Truly, he didn’t know what to say. He knew Swanson was not an ideal father but this—this is how you were treated? How you lived your life? “I don’t… know what to say.”

”No one ever does.”

After a short pause, Arthur felt his own anger begin to form when your died down. “Why the hell do we still keep him ‘round then? If he’s like this to you, then why don’t we just get rid of him? You’re the only one we really need. You hunt, fish, and you can even haggle someone almost as well as Hosea! He doesn’t do shit-”

”Arthur, I thank you for feelin’ my anger for me but it’s… I hate him, I do, but it’s more complex than that.” Now you felt bad for pulling your friend along with your emotions. You should’ve kept your mouth shut like you always had, only showing anger when it was just you and your dad alone.

Huffing, Arthur let his hands hold onto his belt as he leaned on his foot. “Well… we got all the time in the world for you to talk.”

While you dried off your wet face with your sleeve, you tried to formulate the correct words. “It’s… hard to explain. If he’s gone then… I’ll have no more blood-family. ‘Nd despite everythin’, well, he still let me go with him to join Dutch when he could’ve left me.” You voice trailed off, your eyes straying from the looks Arthur was giving you. “I-I know, okay? It’s idiotic for me to feel like this even after all that’s happened but I just—I can’t leave him to fend for himself. He lost his wife, ‘nd now I’m all that he has. Even if we don’t talk…”

”I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” Arthur muttered as he took steps towards you. “I ain’t ever been in your boots so I guess I can’t say much but,” cautiously, he put his arms around you, “if you ever want his ass gone, just say so. Or if you… if you wanna leave ‘nd let him stay with the gang then… that’s alright. Just tell me beforehand, okay? I’d be mighty down if you up and left without a goodbye.”

You nodded your head while you returned the hug. Your eyelids stung and your body felt heavy from your outbursts of emotions, though you couldn’t deny how safe you felt right at this moment.

Closing your eyes, you let yourself get lost in the feeling of being openly loved by someone you held dear to you.

Arthur had been your first since you were first welcomed to the gang and a side of you berated yourself for keeping silent from him for so long. Still, within these moments, you felt alright. You felt… free. “I won’t leave. Not when I have someone like you lookin’ out for me.” You tried to bury yourself deep into his chest, wanting to stay with this comfort for much longer. Softly, you whispered out, “Thank you.”

[takingcourage]

The Start of Forever - Part 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Pairing: Drake x MC

Word Count: 2,387

Series Summary: The wedding has passed and the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria are free to begin their lives together away from the constraints of court. While honeymooning in Texas, they’re confronted with questions from their past that raise implications about their future. (Slight AU)

Chapter Summary: Drake and Jena spend some time alone after a difficult conversation with his mother. 

Author’s Note: Whew! Apologies for the unexpected hiatus on this story. Now that I have some free time again, I should be able to finish posting this story. I appreciate your patience through the long delay!

Tagging: @andy-loves-corgis, @carabeth, @speedyoperarascalparty

All things considered, Karen Walker had been rather more understanding than she’d expected. As Jena loaded her cereal bowl into the dishwasher, she thought back over the painstaking conversation that had ended less than an hour before.

Drake had not underestimated the effect that their news would have on his mother. On learning that her son had been given a duchy, color had drained slowly from the older woman’s face until a dull white shell was all that remained. In spite of her polite responses, the visceral reactions had been painful for all three of them.

Shortly after their previous discussion had finished, Karen had pulled Drake aside for a private word. After what she'd seen over the past eighteen hours, Jena could only hope that the woman was doing him no further damage.

She tried to convince herself that she’d done nothing but hurry along the inevitable, but guilt assailed her all the same. This certainly wasn’t the way she’d envisioned this day going. At this point, so much of their morning had been consumed by unpleasant conversation that she wondered if Drake would want to leave early for their night back in Dallas. She glanced a the stovetop clock, trying not to get her hopes up.

The quiet intonations from down the hall were at least somewhat reassuring. There had been no yelling -- of that was certain. If she was venturing to guess, she didn’t think she’d heard anything that sounded like crying either. Both seemed like signs in favor of productive conversation between mother and son.

Jena found a rag draped across the head of the faucet, dampened it, and set about clearing crumbs from the table. As she finished the final swipe across the width, she sensed a presence coming toward her.

“You don’t have to do that, Wittman.” The soft-spoken words startled out of her thoughts, despite her intuition.

“I know. But I needed something to do.” She cupped her hand underneath the cloth and shook the contents into a nearby trash can. “You doing okay?” Having rinsed the rag, she returned it to its former spot and rubbed her hands down the front of her jeans.

“Fine.” His brown eyes were trained on her, and she raised a quizzical brow as he opened and shut his mouth. Eventually, the words ventured forth. “Would you be interested in going riding? I was hoping to get the chance to show you around the ranch…”

“I’d like that a lot, actually,” she assured, still taking in his appearance.

Drake looked tired. It was evident in the exaggerated slackness of the skin around his eyes. A pang of guilt plagued her as she contrasted this with their time at the cabin. He’d been so peaceful there. After all of the stress she’d seen on that face in the past months, it sickened her to think that she’d been the cause of more.

“Good. We may as well get over to the stables. Have you ever actually saddled a horse, Wittman?” He raised his brow in challenge.

“No, but I think I’m about to learn how.” 

“Just as long as you don’t go scaring the horses. I don’t want to have to reenact that rescue from the derby.”

Jena scoffed at the slight, shaking her head in disbelief as she followed him out the front door. “You know that’s not how it happened, Walker.”

“Of course not,” he acquiesced, treating her to a half smile. She rolled her eyes and fell into step at his side, slipping her fingers into his. 

Jena had only ridden horses a few times during childhood, but she’d adjusted to the practice fairly quickly after coming to Cordonia. When she wasn’t taking day-long treks for foxhunting, she found that she actually enjoyed it very much -- especially when she was fortunate enough to have her husband’s company.

Riding around his family’s property spawned memories of exploring Valtoria with him on horseback, and she felt a pang of longing for their home. There was so much waiting for them when they returned. As much as she had enjoyed the honeymoon, some part of her was giddy at the thought of starting real life together.

Today, however, she was focused on Drake’s wellbeing. Other than the extremely thorough instructions as he’d guided her through the process of saddling the horses, he’d been fairly quiet since coming to find her in the kitchen. Jena's mind overflowed with words that could fill the silence, but nothing felt right. She breathed a grateful sigh when he chose to speak instead.

“I was pretty upset with you this morning, Wittman. I was sitting there drinking coffee and thinking that you were being unreasonable -- that you’d judged my mom too harshly. I’m not so sure anymore.”

The uncertainty in his voice halted her instinctive response. Jena breathed out slowly through her nose, biding her time in case there was more he wanted to say.

“I’ve never felt so angry with her before. She can doubt me all she wants, but doubting you -- I never thought she’d go that far. That’s a line she shouldn’t have crossed. I feel like I don’t even know her anymore...”

“For the record, I didn’t want to be right,” Jena admitted softly, grateful that they kept their horses at a relaxed pace so that she could meet his gaze. Her heart clenched at the distance in his deep brown eyes. “I just know what it’s like to defend someone who doesn’t deserve it. Finding out they’re not who you thought they were...it’s a hard pill to swallow.” She fiddled with the leather reins between her fingers, hoping that she was treading lightly enough to cause no offense.

“Your dad?” he asked simply.

Nodding, she met his eyes. The distant look gave way to a tenderness that mirrored her own worry for him, and she was struck by just how broken both of their families had been. “I wasted a lot of years making excuses for him, Drake. When I finally forgave him, it wasn’t because he’d done anything to deserve it. I just needed closure.” Drake stretched out a hand and she took it gratefully before continuing. “I don’t want you to have to go through all of that with your mom. I hope you’re able to figure things out and find a way to start over, but please don’t beat yourself up about it if you’re not.”

Her husband sighed, taking his time to respond as he turned his gaze to the horizon. “I sort of have to. I mean, dad’s not around any more. She doesn’t exactly have anyone else.”

Jena shook her head in an attempt to clear the conflicting emotions. She’d realized long ago that his protective instinct would have a propensity for getting them in trouble. She just hadn’t expected the trouble to take this form. “You always want to defend the people you care about, Drake. It’s one of the first things I noticed about you -- one of the things I love most about you too. But sometimes you have to think about protecting yourself. Sometimes that may even mean letting others protect you.”

“I don’t like to have people worrying about me.”

“We’ve been over this before…”

“I know. And sometimes having you around to worry about me is a good thing. I wouldn’t have come clean with my mom if it hadn’t been for you.”

“I hope it was the right decision.” She’d spent the past several hours second guessing her encouragement from the night before. “Did things...go okay?”

“Heh.”

She waited several moments, but he elaborated no further. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she ventured finally.

“Just that I think it’s going to take some time for her to adjust to the idea that I’m a noble and that I’m staying in Cordonia for good. But I think some part of her is proud too. Maybe someday she’ll come around to the idea that I’m not just wasting my life over there.”

“Does she really think that?” The words felt strangled as Jena worked them out of her throat. So many of her early interactions with Drake became clearer as she considered Karen’s likely influence.

He clicked his tongue to encourage the horse, but her question remained unanswered. Several paces later, he came to a sudden stop. Jena pulled the reins gently and dismounted to stand beside him in the tall grass.

“We’ll let the horses graze for a bit.”

She stroked the mare’s bony cheek and dropped the reins, putting her hands in her pockets instead. Squinting against the mid-morning sun, she followed Drake to a line of fencing nearby. Green stretched before them on every side, the light wind stirring long blades of grass into mesmerizing waves. She wondered vaguely if this was the sight that had enticed Karen to come back from Cordonia. Out here, in the warmth of late spring, it wasn’t hard to imagine the appeal that this land must have held.

Drake leaned against the nearest post, a wrinkle forming between his brows. With ease, Jena mounted the fence beside him, steadying herself with a certain hand.

Did I cross a line? Why hasn’t he answered my question? Jena hated the thought that her carelessness might have caused such distress. A week ago, she wouldn’t have been so bothered by the thought. Now, as this man’s wife, she felt some measure of responsibility to read his mind. The notion was ridiculous, but present nonetheless. Just as she was clearing her throat, he spoke.

“I’m not sure what my mother thinks anymore. She didn’t take it very well when I moved back to Cordonia. Wanted me to forge my own path instead of running back to the palace.”

“Do you ever regret it?”

“Going back?” At her nod, he continued. “I had a lot of questions at the time, but in a way, mom’s right. I’d been following Liam around for so long that it was easier to just settle back into that when I came back from the States. It took me a while to find where I belonged in all of it.  But no, I don’t regret it. Cordonia is home.”

“You’ve found your way now. And with or without the courtly graces, you’re still Drake Walker,” she beamed encouragingly. “I just wish your mom had taken the chance to get to who that man is.” A fresh sting of remorse accompanied the words, and she looped her fingers around the hand that rested beside her on the fence.

Drake interlocked his fingers with her own and lifted his face tentatively. “I think I’d like for her to get the chance to.”

Her pulse quickened at the meaning that underpinned his words. Biting her tongue, she shifted her weight toward him and took in his pensive expression.

“I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He hiked a hand through his hair. “But I’m not sure I’d ever forgive myself if I cut the relationship off completely. I’d always wonder if things could have been different. I’m not saying that I want to come out here for Christmases or anything, but--” preoccupied, he ceased speaking as she squeezed his hand. 

“I’ll support whatever you choose, Drake. I can’t say I have a very good first impression of her, but I respect how much she means to you. If I had any hope of my dad changing for the better, I’d probably make the same choice.” Her tone grew wistful at the impossible notion. “But I think we’re going to have to find a compromise. I don’t want you bending over backward to make her a part of our lives if she won’t even meet you halfway. You can’t do that to yourself, Drake.”

“Agreed.”

“So she’s going to have to understand that there are boundaries she can’t cross. It’s going to take some time for us to establish trust again.”

“Sounds fair to me,” he considered, stroking her knuckles with his thumb as he looked to her face. “She’s been through a lot, Jena. I don’t want to put her through more than she deserves.”

“I know,” she responded quickly to the flash of pain in his eyes. “But if she puts you through more than you deserve, she’ll have me to contend with.” Although her tone was light, they both knew that the threat was genuine.

He hoisted himself onto the fence beside her, dropping his hands to his sides. “I never thought I’d be so happy to get back to Valtoria, but I’m really looking forward to it.”

She offered a wry smile. “I am too. I know we’re going to try to work things out here, but I can’t wait to get back to Dallas and then home.”

“It’s the last night of our trip, Wittman. How do you want to spend it?”

“Seeing as it’s the last night of our honeymoon,” she emphasized, “I was thinking room service, hot tub, and…some drinks.”

“Now that’s a plan I can get behind.”

“I’m not going overboard though. We’ve got a day full of traveling tomorrow.”

“We’ll sleep it off on the plane.”

“Maybe you will," she joked, hopping down from the fence. “I’ll be awake for it all.”

“Even if I keep you up all night?”

Jena threw him a look over her shoulder. "That didn’t exactly work for the trip out here." He extended a hand toward her and she settled into the space between his legs, running her palms against toned thighs that were stretched taut from his heels pressing into the lower rail.

"I’ll take that as a challenge.” The glint in his eyes sent tendrils of heat through her core.

“Just keeping you on your toes, Walker.” 

Drake shook his head at her accompanying wink. 

“Ready when you are,” she announced, rising to the tips of her toes. Drake cradled her cheek in his hand and leaned into the kiss. His lips were soft and warm, heated by the morning sun. She snaked her arms around his waist and melted into him with pleasure. When she finally pulled away, it took several moments for her head to clear.

The kiss told her all she needed to know. They would make it through this.  Together. 

[diaryofsecrecy]

It has been the most exhausting year of my entire life and I will be surprised if I ever top it...

Brent was having a hard time adjusting to the altitude when we 1st came out here, (July 8th 2020) But as time went on he got better as expected. Then suddenly he got worse and worse, Eventually he lost the job that he got because he was calling out so often throwing up and experiencing extreme nausea.  Because of covid, the doctors were booked for weeks (new patient) so it was just kind of a waiting game until we finally decided to just go to the ER.  They did a full blood panel and decided that he needs to see a GI doctor because everything else is normal. So, That was booked 2 weeks out and he was sent home with nausea medication for one week...

Of course we were going to try to buy or rent so I was freaking out about money and working as much as I possibly could... But then I too had to go to the emergency Room because I had extreme abdominal pain resulting in an emergency appendectomy😖

The day after my surgery, I am home, when my dad comes in with my older sister.

To my knowledge, my older sister was diagnosed paranoid schizofrantic. She has been Homeless for the last 11 years,  And on drugs.  She recently was beaten so badly that she was left with several brain injuries on top of it all, And while she was healing at the hospital somehow they didn't notice her walk out.  We were just about to get her placed somewhere safe...And they lost her.

Anyhow dad walks in with my sister who I guess called him from a coffee shop when they told her that she couldn't sleep there anymore (after a month of being missing again) Dad had to go back to work so then it was me & her for the next 2 days, As you can imagine, not the rest I needed post surgery... then, I had to go back into the hospital because something wasn't right. I was there for 3 more days, 2 days alone because ben was so sick that it was worse with him being there than me sitting by myself in pain and nausea of my own.

Fast forward a few more months, tragic accidents led to 2 separate deaths of my parents dogs. Both events I happen to be present, so get blamed & am no longer welcome at mom & dads.

(Still healing from sugury, brent still very sick)

We get an apartment, and I start working as a nanny for my aunt twice a week while working at Massage Envy the other 5 days.

At this point, I am tired. I am horney, and lonely, and Absolutely. Fucking. Miserable.

I am begging ben to keep up with drs. but he has lost hope of getting better, and I have no way of helping him when I am already worn too thin.

After 9, Long, long months, he eventually, with my consistent pushing, nagging, most likely not always kind remarks, he finds out his hormones are completely off, which I knew would be the case, his dick hadnt worked for the last 3 years properly..

Anyway. He blames his addiction medication rather than continuing dr. Appointments... he gets on testosterone with an outside company(pay out of pocket kind of subscription company...rather than checking insurance, or figuring out what causes low testosterone and fixing that first). I was working and had no influence in any of those choices that effect us both as they have for at least 2 years. He hasnt touched me for so, so, long.

Month 3 of his medication that seems to be working (only reason I know is there was a ton of porn in my google history, he had declined all advances, except the rare, 3 times he allowed a blowjob then left immediately after for the gym or literally anything else rather than make it romantic at all.)

Month 4, he forgets to make a payment at all, so now we owe $250 rather than the normal $100. His meds get sent, then FedEx loses the package all together so, he is sick and I am house sitting in a dream home, alone for 2 weeks straight that originally was going to be our getaway to focus on Us.

At this point, brent and I havnt slept in the same bed for 2 months. At first cause he says I'm mean and he wants to not be near me, but now its cause hes "more comfortable out in the living room..."

A month ago when we last had a conversation about our relationship he said he wants space and a break from me all together. I'm too much.

I am the problem..?

When trying to understand what he means, he shuts down the connvo, saying he cant talk about it anymore. It's been 30 days since we have made any verbal progress. Our fighting has stopped though, and I'll tell you why...

Rewind 1 week before house sitting;

1 week after brent and I had an awful fight where he told me we should take a break, I stay at my parents & My mom offers for me to join them at a graduation party of a kid I used to babysit.

We were sitting in the back of the dining room, out of the way, when I saw someone i slightly recognized in the hallway. Not sure from where, but he was the kind of guy that you couldnt stop looking at. He was clearly into fitness, his shirt couldnt hide the muscular features he had been perfecting either, despite him dressing nothing out of the ordinary. He had beautiful ink crawling up his leg, an artform that would only mean something to someone who is more spiritually awake. But more noticable about anything was that smile.

God that smile. His face was scruffy, as if he had been away, but regardless, the smile he had influenced his entire ora. His eyes smiled, his walk... smiled. He had some kind of thing about him that was a physical draw I had never known for myself before. Dont get me wrong, i have been woo'd by many men so far in my life, from all stages in life, but This one was just, different. He was making his way around the room, & I could hear his voice over my mom who's talking beside me. I had literally been blocked out by my ever wondering thoughts of this random stranger whom felt familiar.

Then, he was there, at our table?

He was so easy to talk to, not even sure how we started now, but all I know is I was not nervous despite my very physical attraction to him.

He spoke of traveling, and adventures hes been on. This guy had a whole other life in the military at one point and now was traveling, working for a company that sends him around the US.

This guy had Hope's and dreams and somehow we got to talking about that kind of thing at a graduation party?

When I left that day, I thought about him. Not just him specifically, but men like him. Had I chosen Brent wrongfully? Does brent even like who I am anymore, what does he want going forward in his own life? How do I even fit into that? He understands my need for adventure but his actions say that he doesnt want to come along. My mind was loopy after that because for the first real time I questioned, what if there was someone who wanted to see the world,  Who liked my sad music, and my emotions being in everything I do? What if there was a women more interested in the simple home life, having a couple dogs and living a small, comfortable life? Are we doing one another a disservice by occupying oneanother's lives? How could I ever bring that up with Brent at all without making him feel so inadiquite after a year of terrible sickness and defeat?

Well, when I went to that big, gorgeous dream home the following week to house sit for 2 weeks... begging him to come see me, I grew weak from overthinking. I cried, I cried so much the first 3 days.

I cried from a place of such sadness, anger, bitterness, defeat, they were so strong. My mind was cloudy, drunk, stoned, tired.... I found myself writing a suicide letter.

My plan was to disappear, I knew I'd find a firearm in the home & allow someone to find my remains eventually in the hills where I'd walk far enough.

I prepared by cleaning the litterbox, laying out several bowls of water for the dog and cat, and watered all the plants heavily. I transfered brent all the money in my bank accounts, and as I waited for the sheets to come out of the dryer I balled my eyes out, reading the last conversations I had had with my family members. I thought to myself how the kids would take it, what different life choices they would make having been close with someone before their passing. At this point, I needed something, but I needed it from someone who doesnt know me in my life right now, but the me that was worth saving. The me I still recognized.

I called an old friend from 2nd grade. Hadnt talked to her in years and years, didnt known her life, her schedual, her name(which had been changed). But she talked me down. She saved my fucking life. It took a person who knew my soul years ago, to remind me I am not alone.

I dont blame my parents, or who I thought would be my future husband. I had talked with my aunt earlier that day and she couldnt see it either. I had become this fake shell of a person and it took considering an actual murder of myself to make me see that if I continued this path, I would die eventually and nobody in my life would ever see me preparing for it.

That night, I invited a complete stranger over and we fucked like rabbits. 4 times. He got to do things he'd never done before, and I begged him to. Sounds cold, sounds unapologetically disgusting that I'd do something like that, but quite frankly, I FUCKING needed it. I needed someone to see me, even if he didnt see my current life nor care about me as a person... he saw, touched, kissed, sucked and ate me up. For the first time in at least 2 years, i felt satisfaction when I walked him to the door and watched his car drive away.

It was like a sigh of relief, an inch I could not reach for the longest time, gone. Finally.

The following days, brent began putting in more effort. It has been 3 weeks and I'd say he has been kinder to me than he had in a while (probably the lack of testosterone) but also, I havnt seen much of him in general. From his point of view, it is all fine. Hes getting the space he needed, I'm being nicer since I quit massage Envy, and things are looking up....

But that is because he doesnt See Me.

My suisidal thoughts subsided after my long conversation with Scout. & that night I called my cousin as well, and learned he too had been in my shoes before. He said something that stuck with me.

If everyone has an expiration date on their life already, and we don't know when it is, you're to the point that you're life is so invaluable that youd kill yourself than flee your life and make one you want. Dont care about the people youd hurt, because suicide is just as careless as abandoning them all indefinitely.

He was so right, it put things into perspective, gave me a freedom I felt I was waiting to gain permission for.

Five days later, I noticed He had written me 5 before, on the day I had truly planned to end my current life..

He had written me at 12am, what would someone like him, a gorgeous, beefed out, big thinker, high energy, go getter be doing messaging me, a tired women who was 300lbs a year ago, (still working on getting to a normal size) and completely at a crossroads with existance.

I entertained the connvo a tad, and honestly forgot about it for a few days as I figured no way he could be serious.

He triple messaged me, and asked for my personal contact info to have real conversation?

Hesitantly, and wildly excited to even just flirt for a moment with someone who is literally everything I fantasize when I'm alone everynight....

Our conversation immediately took off. In directions I hadnt expected at all what so ever. He told me he had to admit he felt drawn to me, like he had known me in another life. That he doesnt expect me to get it, but I did. We talked about things that only my sister and I can relate to on a spirituality standard and it changed me in that instant. Suddenly i realize, I wasn't broken, I was just misunderstood. & that there are people in this world that See Me even when I am not trying. Not many, and it takes a specific Kind of person, but they do exist and when you meet them, you cant ignore it. It is as if they stain you with remembrance.

As the sexually hungry humans we are, not only did we find that morality, values, future goals coexist, but also our importance of intimacy. Not just lust and sex, well, yes that too, uff did those conversations get so, fucking, hot, but the interactions of intimacy and how they make a person whole.

I opened up to him about Brent, and where I am at in life, asking he please oversee my unfaithfulness, but that I am loyal at heart. He says with such pain in his voice how he too in a parallel position simultaneously, however, he married her 7 years ago.

Ugh.

So now I get to choose. Do I chose mortality, say no, brent and the other women deserve to understand the severity of sex, love and passion, and if they chose not to then we will leave before we act on our mutual attraction....? Or, do we say hell with it and give in to serendipity moments that our hearts crave so badly, take on the consequences and move forward. Sigh. If only there was a guideline for complicated.

Last night, as the 5 nights before, we talked for hours on the phone. His voice makes me smile every, damn, time. Perhaps because it's new and exciting, or maybe I just love to hear him go on his tangents of loving yourself despite the bad in life. I Want him. I want him when I wake, &when I go to sleep. I do not want a life without him& it saddens me to know our timing is incorrect. He asked her for a divorce a year ago, but has sat comfortably as I have despite the horror because weve both been too busy, too tired, too... afraid that life will always be lonely. Last night, he said to me, Elise, I love you. I avoided it several times but when he said it two more times, I couldnt keep it any longer to myself, Jackson, I really do Love you as well. It's scary, and faster than I'd ever say it to anyone. But I know it to be true because I Feel it. I want his love so badly. I want him to live life along side of me because with a person like him, I'd be a better me.

I am absolutely terrified. My life, my home, my family, dogs, my 5 year relationship, the unborn children brent and I have named, and the houses we'd have... all gone?

Running away with a man who says hes going to leave his wife is absolutely stupid. I'd be an idiot to think I am enough to get him through that fear of change, yet he gives me strength to want to try, so maybe I do, Him?

Ugh my brain being pulled in many ways. My heart having been in pieces so many times now doesnt know who to go to or why. I know for certain I love Brent, is this a self gratifying moment To push me back to him? Is this the devil bringing two lost people together to ruin four people at once?or is this Fate. Fate that has seen both of us individually loosing ourselves in a life we didnt want and has brought us together to lean on one another, temporarily not?

Suppose time will tell.

Last two days he has been working a ton, and told me that tomorrow he has something he needs to talk to me about.

I assume it isnt good. I assume it is the first put off of many, because, I know I want to do the same. Part of me says I should block him right now, because lust, and attraction, both mentally and physically like that couldnt make a women addicted and that's a no good addiction when he has a women in his house with his last name. 😔

[freelytinystudentblog-blog]

Beginning

So I guess for starters Im gonna say i am probably going to remain anonymous for a while. Also this stuff might get deep and personal so ill change all names. Since freelytinystudentblog is ridiculously long im just going to go but Eve because why not. Im not trying to look for attention posting all this stuff but i need an outlet and what better way to do it than anonymously on a website where it probably wont get read. So if you do happen to stumble onto this page then welcome. Hopefully you wont get bored. I guess its time for me to start with the beging which would be about 3ish years ago when I was a wee little lass and believed that because i was 13 i was basically the shit(which i obvously wasnt). I had moved a total of 3 times which doesnt seem too bad but it was always when i got really attached to people we moved and i never spoke to them again. This time was no different. We moved from one small town to another. Being one of the only mixed kids there besides my brother was surprisingly positive and annoying. Why youre probaly not asking? Well because my hair was everyones interest. A big ball of poof i always threw into a pony tail because honestly there wasnt much else to do with it. Everyone wanted to play with it or see how much stuff i could hide in it. It was fun at first but quickly got annoying. While there was that downside to the town it also had some positives. For example it was there that i realized that i was bisexual. To be honest i never thought about liking girls until my boyfriend at the time and his friend were talking about how they were both Bi and i said it to fit in a little. I didnt actually believe it until i realized the way girls made me felt. How i always caught myself looking at their chests and their butts, and how i fell for my friend Taylor. She was my first offical girl crush. Anyway this is getting a little off topic though it was important. Like i said there were many positives like the cool friends i got to meet, I got into blood in the dance floor and had a little emo phase and met a guy i thought id be with forever. That all sounds good but with all positives comes negatives. I began to get super depressed and even cut a few times. I felt trapped in my relationship with Damien. Whenever we fought hed threaten to kill himself or say stuff like “without you id kill myself” which is a shitty thing to say to someone in my opinion. I started doing things id never do like sneaking my boyfriend over and all that. But the biggest neutral that happened was me losing my virginity. No big deal it seems but i was freshly turned 14 and he was 16. We werent safe there was no protection. I know losing your virginity is supposed to be meaningful but i dont remember it. I wasnt drunk or anything so i dont know why i dont remember it. Anyway a couple weeks later i snuck out and walked around town and ended up having sex again in the graveyeard(insert judgement here) I knew something was wrong soon after. I felt sick so i told him i thought i was pregnant. He paled and asked if i was would i abort it. I instantly said no because i dont believe in abortions. After that night things got weird. Me my mom and my brother went to Tennessee. Driving up the mountains i felt sick to my stomach which i brushed off as carsickness. We get back from our vacation and i started craving the weirdest shit like frozen hot pockets, whole packages of cheese ect. I caught myself randomly thinking about having a baby and got scared. I ended up having my older family friend get me a pregnancy test and surprise surprise i was el prego. I cried for about 5 minuets before shutting down. I didnt know how to feel i was only 14. I called and  told Damien that night and he was as shocked as i was. Later on he told me he started crying after we hung up. So a few days later i went home and told mom. She wasnt as mad as i thought she would be. She refused to let me give the baby up for adoption because it was my mistake and i had to live with it. I dont think i couldve done it anyway. No one really understands how attached you get to the little baby inside you. I believe the same day i told the rest of my family. My grandma didnt talk to me for a couple of months. I had an aunt who told me i needed to give it up for adoption because i was gonna ruin the babys life.I had another aunt not let me see my cousin Bri for atleast 6 months which hurt so much. Me and bri are like sisters we’ve been almost inseperable ever since we were little which is funny since shes younger than me. Damien was determined to stay in the babys life and not leave no matter what. Me being pregnant at such a young age wasnt easy. I lost most of my friends and began homeschooling which was terrible. The nine months of me being pregnant was basically filled with me fighting with my boyfriend getting insanely jealous, cheating, and more sex. We shouldve left each other months ago. Looking back i shouldve left sooner. It was a toxic relationship for both of us. 9 months later my baby boy was born. Mister Phoenix. My angel. It was kind of ridiculous damien and i fought even in the hospital. We brought phoenix home and i was hoping the relationshup would get better. It didnt. I caught him sexting his ex and swore to break it off with him. I didnt. I swore to myself i wasnt going to let my baby grow up without a father. In july 2015 we moved 45 minuets away. Damien came on the weekends because my mom picked him up and took him home. That laster all summer until school started and he couldnt anymore. It seemed like us being apart made us fight even more. By november he broke up with me. Now i was 15 and a single mother. I was devasted. I had no one to turn to since i didnt have any friends in my new town. I was alone and began eating my depression away. Every month on the 11th i would sit down and cry. I wasnt in a good state. By 2016 i swore to myself id move on from Damien and become an amazing mother but it was so hard He kept popping in every 3 months or so flirting with me making me fall for him over and over again only to get crushed over and over again. It was a hellish cycle but honestly im glad i went though it. Why you ask? Well simply because every time he left itd give me more reason to stop liking him and even hating him. Now he texts me and i just roll my eyes. Going through that definately helped me move on. He wasnt there for any of the birthdays and i honestly am glad. I understand its my kids father but i grew up with a dad who lived in the same city and still couldnt come see me. I dont want my baby going through that. Once hes older i plan on explaining everything and giving him a choice of whether he wants to get in contact with his father or not. Itll be completely up to him. Now before you start judging me to hard think about this. I became a single parent at 15. The father never visted his son or even asked. Hell this january was the first time he saw phoenix in Two years. Two thats ridiculous. After the very awkward encounter he hasnt bothered asking to see him since. Its hard for people who dont have kids to understand this i know but i know what im doing is for the best. This sunday is going to be his 3rd birthday and his father came up with stupid excuses as usual. Now i know i left out some stuff but some of it is hard to put into words plus if i added anymore itd be unbelievably long. So this was the begining and current i guess. 14 and pregnant. 15 and a single parent. currently almost 18 and still doing it bymyself just a little better. Thats all for now. Ill probably make another one soon about relationships while being a single parent so yeah. Peace.

[ketterdamns]

a brief history

so anyway i’ve been doing a lot of work over the last year (hence why im kinda awol and maybe less positive than I used to be) and the biggest thing that has always come up is to stop retreating when I need to be honest about the things that have happened to me, when acknowledging the things in my life that have damaged me and also as an exercise to let trust my friends and others not to use this information to hurt me- the only power of these words in the hands of others is what I perceive them to have. if i give it away freely and own it it can no longer be used to hurt me, or at least, that is the general idea i might regret this. i might not. i just think i need to try because im so so so tired. 

Anyway, under the cut; csa, parental and spousal abuse, rape, trauma,drugs, addiction, basically all of the triggers. a slightly optimistic ending tho!!! 

Additionally; if you read this, please can you in some way acknowledge that u have, via text, whatsapp, dm, pm, messages, likes (no reblogs pls!!)  just so i can keep track of who knows what ty!!!!

its really hard to admit that ive never had a stable home life. never even had a stable home, from the moment i was in the womb my mum was running, away from my dad (who never let her go), from my dad’s mum- who wanted me dead for reasons my mum has never been able to divulge, from poverty and homelessness throughout my formative years. 

That’s when it started maybe, I was about 3-4/5 we ended up having to move in with my uncle (my dads brother) and his wife. it was an uncomfortable situation for all, we were a family of four intruding on newlyweds, but we were desperate and immigrants to a new country without qualifications for work or money to support us or even a job to hold down. My mum tried her best, but my brother was one and i was two years older. I ended up spending a lot of time with my uncle, who often “took me off of her hands” for afternoons. I don’t rly remember those afternoons, except that I would always play up beforehand, not wanting to go. At some point, my aunt caught on, and instead of talking to her husband, or throwing his pedo ass out, she took out her ??jealousy?? on me, and started pinching me so hard i bruised. she would blame me for my uncle’s behaviour. i was a “madame” pretending to be his “princess”, my mum caught her hitting me, and packed our bags immediately, despite my father not allowing us to leave. we had to stay in that house for another two months, and this is when my mum would never want to let me out of her sight again. And this is also the beginning of the pattern that my dad would allow these things to happen to me but I was just a baby. I didn’t understand. I didn’t know what was happening or why they were. No-one spoke to me and I had no one else in my life at that time. 

We spent some really uncomfortable years in uncomfortable places, but honestly being homeless for that year, and then moving into council accommodation was sort of the least of my worries. I was eight years old the time I was sexually and emotionally abused by my other uncle (also my dad’s brother). It was my first trip back to our home country My grandma spent all her time telling me I was awful (it turns out... she’s a piece of shit) all because I refused to call her “Mum”, she wanted to kidnap me and my brother, and idk what else. but we scuppered her plans by not going along with it. It was a very toxic and scary environment, so when my Uncle would invite me into his next door flat, and treat me with kindness, I was overjoyed. Finally, another adult I could trust! My grandparents used to police food, and essentially only allowed me one meal a day. Back in the UK we were very poor, and rarely got to have sweets unless they were gifts from other people, so my uncle already had the perfect tool to entice me. That first summer, I ate sweets and let him pamper me, slowly giving him more and more affection like sitting on his lap etc, because it meant more sweets for me and my brother. he was my favourite person in the world and i was sure that he was the one person i could truly trust and talk to about anything. I used to dream of moving in with him and living peacefully, well fed, in a quiet cosy environment. The next summer, I was nine, and my dad had almost finished his uni, meaning we were expecting more money. I had my fill of sweets. He bought me toys instead. Slowly, his requests for affection turned into demands. Slowly, his affection turned into something twisted and horrible, something dirty. I once tried to raise the point to my grandma, that sometimes my uncle did things that scared me. she told me off for being a coward. I didn’t say anything. I was getting toys, my little brother was being fed, my mum finally had a friend in my dads side of the family in him. I knew enough about unstable homes that the slightest disagreement could lead to homelessness again and I didnt want that. Maybe my silence was my strength. 

This was confirmed when he raped me when I was 12. It is the last time I will ever see that side of the family. I was in shock the whole time, I didn’t know what to do. When we got home, back onto firm cold soil and the safety of our shitty one bedroom council flat in the roughest estate , I opened up to my dad that for years i’d been terrorised by my uncle and afraid of saying something. Dads were supposed to protect their little girls from big bad men, even if that man was their brother. 

All I got for my troubles was another man who began to hurt me. Outraged that I’d ever speak something so horrible my dad began to beat me. Constantly. And if my mum got involved? He’d beat her too. she didn’t even know what was happening, but there was a point she also went silent, and it was all on me to bear the pain I’d tried to share. The following summer, my uncle died in a freak accident When I heard the news I laughed because I couldn’t help myself, and getting hit for it was worth it for the news. I never had to see him again.  He died and I was free. Except my dad never quite forgot what I had said, and he never forgave me for it. 

Anyway by this point I was a teenager, we moved again and constantly over the years until we properly settled and actually bought a house and I had a strong group of friends who didn’t mind my weirdness and my lack of skills. My mum at this point couldnt bear that I was branching out from her bubble, and something snapped in her too, she started to search my room, stalk my friends, refuse to let me out. honestly.. no i dont blame her (even tho her behaviour hasnt changed and im 23, but at the time? it increased how trapped i felt)

I was a teenager and I had a best friend. She loved a boy named DJ who was 18. DJ used to stalk me, and I kept quiet because I knew she liked him and I knew speaking up would cause me more trouble. I could look after her, and myself. DJ assaulted me one night at a party. I shouldn’t have been there and I shouldn’t have been doing what I was doing. I was already experimenting with drinks and drugs because I was dead inside anyway. he hurt me and then told my best friend that i’d hooked up with him and hoodwinked him into getting with me because i wanted to hurt her. within days that story was around school. i was the easy kid who would sleep with anyone for the drama, and i was quiet. i was terrified news would get to my mum, or my little brother who was also starting at that school. but most of all i was terrified of telling my side of the story, and to be hurt more than i was hurting already. I unfriended them all, and even though DJ continued to stalk me i kept quiet. DJ sent me a necklace with a dove, explaining the significance was that the dove was my innocence or some other weird creepy crap. my mum found it in the bin where id tried to bury it under rubbish i told her a fraction of the truth, I was being harassed by a boy and I didn’t welcome his advances. I didn’t tell her it was already too late. The school of course told him to keep away, and he did for the most part, and one time he tried to corner me while I was skiving off of a class and there was no one around, I ran and went to tell a teacher. I got told to “grow up” and sometimes “we have to get along with people we dont like”. I was the villain in their eyes. I swore  I would do everything in my power to get out of this school, go to the grammar in a new city where my reputation . DJ was arrested this year for online grooming an d sharing child pornography, and it honestly breaks my heart that its been going on for so long. maybe i should have said more, but who to? 

My time at school wasn’t all bad. And i had my first real positive experience with an older man. My english teacher once caught me unawares and I had a panic attack at being alone with a man-- he was gentle and kind, and worked with me to get to where i wanted to be grades-wise. he let me borrow his books and told me stories about his own son and i understood what real love meant, and it broke me that i’d never experienced it. 

My brother had grown so big now, and threatened my dad. if he ever lay another finger on one of us under our roof, my brother would kill him. my brother spent his childhood learning to fight, he’s in the runnings for the Olympics. My dad recognised the threat was real. And never hit me when my brother was home. However, when my brother wasn’t home... that was another story. my silence then was another kind of strength. I couldnt tell him the truth, because if he followed through on this threat, his life would be over. My dad got more sneaky, he would avoid my face, he’d grab my ankle and twist it so tight that it’s now forever fucked up. 

Despite all my fucked-up ness I did make it to grammar school, despite my parents not wanting me to go there. And im so glad i did. I finally had two years with minimal assault. My dad hurt me sometimes? The first night after my induction class because summer break, my dad took my prized hockey stick- one I’d worked long days to afford, and smashed it on my leg. I had to get crutches and didn’t leave my house for most of the summer, because I didn’t want to explain what happened. I couldn’t play my sport ever again properly. I lied to my friends and told them i was in my home country for the summer. i legit did not leave my house unless it was for doctors appts. 

 occasional nights he would be tired of me doing nothing but homework or making projects, or being loud. Alternately, he’d hate it when suddenly i became withdrawn and uncommunicative. when i physically couldn’t move etc. anyway turns out these were symptoms of my MI which wouldn’t be diagnosed for a long while, despite trying to find what was wrong with me from this point onwards.  but!!! for the most part! it was great! my school was in another city! i had freedom for a couple hours every day to do what i wanted! i made friends who embraced my weirdness! i had no reputation and i had my very own laptop finally so i could finally have some privacy!

too much privacy, i refused to give my mum my laptop password. hearing this, my dad threw my laptop down the stairs. 

i used what little money i had from part time jobs to fix it, but its something im resentful of to this day. my mum, in her eagerness to protect me, just let him hurt me again. 

anyway blah blah blah i moved to london and it was amazing i ran away i was free everything was going to change and i was finally going to be the person i always knew i was destined to be! chic and cosmopolitan and cool and confident and most importantly, safe, and comfortable, and in control. And I was. and then three weeks before halloween it happened again. i’d been away from home for two months now, and i’d started dabbling in harder drugs than weed, but that night i was not high. i was not in withdrawal. i was only drunk. i got raped again. this time, i did report it, but only because my housemates knew it had happened. i got rushed to A&E where they are legally required to call the police. the police took me to their HQ and i was interviewed. they arrested him. none of this was my choice, and my lack of silence led to a lack of control. I know ive been detailed already, but i wont go into detail about the rape kits they have and the questions i got asked and the journalists who dogged me and the nosy gossips who wanted to know the juicy deets. I don’t want to go into detail about how i realised I was a victim and was always going to be a victim, and i cant go into detail about the most recent abuses, not yet. All I know is i once thought i was in love with a boy called ‘T’, and what he did to me was worse because he made me believe this was all I could get and that I had to settle. He made me believe that him getting off on my trauma was love, instead of him picturing me as a child repeatedly brutalised by my male relatives. The moment I came to my senses and he was gone, I realised I was alone again. I failed my second year of uni, because the day before my final exam, my rapists wife found my house in london, idk how. She and her child begged me to help her husband’s appeal. I sympathised with her, she was a non-native with broken english looking after her kid. She reminded me of my mum. I told her for her chid’s sake and for her sake, I couldn’t. She cursed me and nothing has been the same since. actually, the lovely people of tumblr helped me raise the funds to complete summer school and carry on with my life. i now hold a masters degree. i remember each and every one of u who donated or signal boosted. i also remember my choice to keep his wife out of it, and not mention her. silence was golden. 

This year my rapist  was deported after raping another person when he was released for good behaviour. 

anyway. despite all of this magnitude of shit that has happened to me. despite my numerous addictions that im still working thru (im sorry if u knew me when i was nothing but a junkie. at 19/20 I was not a good person and anything I said that was thoughtful or provocative came from a bad place. I gave bad advice and abused my medication alongside brown and alcohol. My manic episodes got worse than I’ve ever experienced and usually led to me some very dark very scary places. I’m mostly better now but the last year has Been A Lot. I tried to kill myself twice. Once, I was saved by police, which is... embarrassing and I lied my ass off (and brandished the fact i was a MASTERS STUDENT OF LAW and they had entirely the wrong end of the stick) and another time, i was saved by chance. I am making so much progress tho. I’m proud of me. I’ve become more independent. I’m not afraid to speak out when I’m dissatisfied now. I know strength comes from knowing what you want and what you don’t want, not settling for the worst because unknown reactions in my imagination are worse than whatever reality has in store. 

im graduating from my masters next week. i feel as tho ive lost a lot of friends and people i cared about- all i can say is im sorry. i’m trying. but if i fuck up, its on me. if i speak too loudly and it hurts you, please tell me. if i dropped away, its because i had to work on me, and im sorry, and im ready to come back, if you’ll have me.  I’m really excited about the future, but im scared too. the last three months have been so hard and every day i feel like giving up again, but I won’t. there has to be a reason i survived all this, and im yet to find it, but i hope i will. im still going thru shit. my dad is still the worst. but i have a really lovely partner who is so so so patient with me- more than i deserve, im in touch with a doctor and a sleep therapist, my brother is looking out for me and im getting in touch with old friends, and im making new ones all the time. thank you for sticking by me, and sorry for the long read. i just had to get it out there you know? its my truth and the silence was killing more than anything else in this stupid story is. ive left lots of details out, but parts of my story interlink with others and other parts im still holding onto, i cant share everything online i think thats enough oversharing for a long long time. 

[mamonthemoon]

So about the 5 of CUPS.  I am getting in touch with writing and music and art and so happy to have access to a computer to do these things.  I could not flow like this, as I wanted, at my pace, on my phone.  It is SO great to have a computer again.  I am blessed, I am thankful.  I am so happy, today I logged into Soundcloud to find Jan and Taylor collab and made music and it just touched my heart and made me so happy.  Also talkin and chillin beside dont know her name but shes a Leo, I could tell she was more on point and driven and aware the first time i saw her come into the cafeteria one night.  Not like the others.  A good thing.  She is having some struggles with people evidently, being different, and them talking about her business, ay dont worry about it their petty basic losers. Bitches. I also got a nice comment 6 months ago on a track I did, “perfection” - how nice. I wish I had been able to make music and tracks through these past few years... I felt trapped, unable to express and create.. So I just sat in my car and sang... Ive been without a computer for the past 5 years WOW! I set out to evolve- to break my internet addiction, I wanted to be in real life, and not in my own little bubble, I wanted to be aware and grounded and discipline myself.  Well, I sure do appreciate this computer access now, and the internet, and everyone’s creativity and the era we’re in is so beautiful in that way, considering how awful the fucking world is! Like all these churches are you for real? and all these heathens that lie cheat steal? Crazy! War... Hate.. Rape.... Oppression.. Slavery.. Injustice... Women under men............ all this.... I was shielded from for most my life, ignorant and dumb and aloof. Its better that way!!! I sought to understand though... big mistake!!!! Understand I have..... Damn. Shoulda asked and prayed for good things! Not something like understanding! Wow dont do that unless you want to go through heaven and hell and everything in between, chaos, mundane, and the unseen.  So much... Off on a tangent again.... Point is... I am EMBRACING the 5 of cups. I literally stand like that.... I stood like that figure today, on the hill across the empty basin up the hill where I walk to be with nature, the little bit that is there, amongst the trash and brush.  I asked Jesus to heal my heart if he exists, and told him he knows I have lived like him, at least more than pretty much most people, and that hey maybe I havent, and I dont know, obviously Im doing something wrong.  I cried, because my heart needed me to, my body needed me to. And it felt good to, with the wind, or fresh air, far away from the building and people.  I cried and spoke to Ayla. I feel I will be with her in one year.  I am saddened by our seperation and how long it is taking, and I want her to know she is SO loved.  In fact, it is the only reason I live. I typed love.... and perhaps that is the correct sentence here.  Ayla is the only reason I love.  It is true.  I never loved before her.  I never loved until I became a mother.  And I loved everyone with that love, too.  Mostly her of course, an overwhelming neverending supply of love, JUST LIKE THE SUN.  Ayla is Jesus. And so am I, as a result of loving her and giving my all to her like I have. PURE LOVE. I prayed for it and I got it.  It was so painful, before and after, her. But she is Joy. She is grace.  She is everything.  She is my teacher.  She is SO beautiful.  And I cant stand to see her cry without crying.  That image is burned in my brain.  I was happy at the moment, starting my new life with psycho, briefly, he was treating me well.  I was putting in work to make that nasty house a home.  I was loving again, and being reciprocated in that love and affection.  BUT NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU. AYLA RAY.  I mourn for that I have been unable to accomplish housing you and me.  I have been unable to attain a living situation.  And it is SO frustrating.  I believe things can get better.  I believe in me.  I believe in my strength and perseverence, and I trust my intuition.  I have been working very hard to be strong.  I have worked very hard to be sober.  Worked to be creative.  Worked to be spiritually sound.  Worked to have greater understanding.  And I have been getting feedback from the people who work here and run this place, as well as doctor and social worker type person at the Internal Medicine Clinic today, positive feedback and thanks for sharing my experience, and told that I am wise and have a greater understanding, etc.  It didnt even feel good to receive the praise, I was too busy extracting what I had to say, and it is exhausting and frustrating because the pain stays inside me, and all I have to do is wait. and wait. and wait. but its okay.  I am happy.  I have a place to be, I have some people to talk to, and we talk and then all wander away, its perfect.  I have had hard times and been very frustrated but through it all I am grateful and see the silver lining for sure.  I am not dwelling on the past, on the wrongs I was wronged recently.  Im used to it!!!!!!  I accept it.  My car was on its way out, and Ive never been in a good living situation anyway.  The way Ive lived, being in this homeless shelter really isnt that hard.  Except that my body doesnt appreciate the shit food and eating meat, and I have to be careful about my sugar intake.  I feel awful after I eat.  I will be so relieved and at ease when I can smoke mari again.  I hate eating.  Yet, Im always hungry now it seems.  My weight is 115.  Im on track, perfect weight.  Just my body doesnt feel good due to my nervous system. And these people dont want to prescribe me Ativan.  Im pretty sure the song Jan and Taylor did, the lyrics talked about the generic name for it.. loradiazepine, or something.  Ill have to check.  The song was titled “Giving up on a Friend”.  It was beautifully prosed and poised. Truly impressive.  So happy inside.  I have really been sad for all my creative lovely friends that died...... drugs, lack of love... parents being not what they needed to be...... crazy, we came from a good area... but.. moreso than in the hood.. i feel like everyone be so isolated. anyway. it made me happy, to stand with those 2 cups left standing.... so many died and spilled... those cups.... what a beautiful world, to hold my Tiffany, Kyle, Des.... they were beautiful sensitive souls and im so sorry this world was so cold! im so sorry i couldnt express and shower them with the love they deserved.. i dont regret or blame myself anymore, because i didnt have the capacity to love... until i had Ayla.  So forgiveness is there.  I needed THEIR love.  Their creativity and spirit lit me up when i was dark and grey.  No one knew how much each other struggled... its so sad.  But I remember how happy I felt being at the community house as i called it.... the boys and their shenanigans....... I also watched young No doubt and Gwen Stefani.. how beautiful... I cant believe I never watched the music videos when I was younger I loved her! She inspired me so much... so different... I guess she was to me, what Billie Eilish is to Imani.  I want to write a letter to Imani. I love and miss her.  She is truly ahead of her time.  I cant wait til I can get some money and send her a letter.  Im gonna have to go on googlemaps and find their house so I can know the address cuz I dont remember or rather, never logged into my brain, the house numbers. I would totally adopt Imani.  It makes me sad the things I cant do because of money.  What I can do, is be there for them in other ways.  In the spirit ways, creative, being aware paying attention to them, telling them how beautiful and wonderful they are.  It made me sad how depressed and angry I was, Imani got to hear me straight up raw bitching... but I belive it truly helped her transition with her dad, and know that shes not alone, and that I see what he does and hate it, and that I have problems with my dad too.  And that her dad is a bastard who doesnt support her dreams and creativity as much as he should, because he had to repress it in himself. And that you have to hold onto your creativity, no ones going to help you, basically.  I have to reiterate that.  She is truly passionate and creative and wise and mature way beyond her years. I know she gets love from all around, family and friends, Im really hoping my absence hasnt left a dent in her life or heart, truly, sometimes.... sometimes you know, I wish someone will miss me or realize the hole thats left by my absence.. but I dont wish that on her.  I want her to be happy and good. For real. But as for my daughter.... I cant say I am okay with her being happy without me.  I have struggled with the selfishness of that.  I WANT her to be taken care of and happy.... I even thanked the women who replaced me, for being in her life, glad she had females but come to find out Oriana bitch.. fucking slapped her... and THATS why fucker wouldnt let me talk to her and dicked me around whil eim busting my ass trying to work my shit pay cooking jobs but hold Ayla top priority and just be left in the dust with NO control, me.. not respected. But now I have evidence in my phone from conversations with worm saying these things, if it will even matter........ its a shame this last bastard isnt going to be helping me with the law and with my daughter and case... I mean I cant really accept him into my life being that he acted how he did and talked to me and berated me after praising me like he did, like a straight up classic psycho, but ive never met a man so bipolar SHIT....... ANYWAY, maybe I can date a lawyer though..or hangout at the law library.. but i dont want to run into him.  IDK what will become of this, IDK what my path is, But I am focusing on the Two upright cups, The cups still standing.  The strong survive... I used to think everyone would make it til old age, except the rare car accident etc... I had NO IDEA so many people would die... so young.. every year...aiy. So I see it as survival of the fittest but its no joke.  I am still struggling.  Where my friends reached for drugs, partying, relief, escape... I sought to really make it for real and not get sucked into that life that I saw would drag people down.  Why did I see this and they did not? Is it because I was more of a loner, less able to socialize or fit in or pretend? I dont know... I know that.... I didnt connect very well to people and was pretty much isolated more than others.... also.. sexually void.... so i did not have those intense feelings of attachment or love like others had... it would have been too much for me to handle probably but still, my life was empty and cold and dark and grey.  Still is, a lot, except when I bring my conscious energy and intent alive... but subconsciously... all is not good... My moon is in the 4th house, and until my home environment is good, until i feel secured and loved and family...... I will not be well emotionally.  I know this.  Astrology and the occult has truly armed me with knowledge.  Self knowledge, and a tool and friend if you will... guide.. mentor.. something to interact with... something to listen! to be there for me to see, what is going on....Astrology for the core personality and blueprint of what makes a person tick.. what drives them.. how they function... of course a conscious person is harder to decipher, someone who has worked on themselves, to balance out their traits i guess but anyway, people shine as they are! whether exhibiting negative qualities and not shining at all but being muddy and negative, or by being bright and vibrant and strong.. either way, it is seen.  Its not evil lol. stupid man. how can you be against something you know nothing about? that is ignorance. how can you stand for something or against something if you dont even know what IT IS? Lost respect.  That should be a name of a song I will write, or rather, the title of what I have already wrote.  I gota speak it into a beat. Cant stay in this notebook i will inevitably throw away.  It must make it off the page and into something shareable.  I write too much to keep throwing it away.  It all seems too basic for how deep i go, i feel i dont do myself justice i guess. but simple is good.. i am not so hard on other artists! i need to create and let go and not worry about it and just keep at it.  Just like selfies take like 20 shots to get a good one.. haha. done with those. the fact remains. so, 20 tracks to create then, and bam ill have a good one worth sharing.  it is cringing, to listen to some of my stuff for real, from a few years ago, but also deeply giddy satisfying like a gift from my past self, an adult, channeling my inner child, i am ridiculous, while everyone else is trying to be so serious and hard and rap. it was nice to hear real music from my friends of the past. love in my heart. 2 cups remain standing. 3 are down, indeed, much has been lost and spilled.  I was contemplating today how sad it is people are appreciated after they pass. and i thought of how Kathy joshs mom said Nanny said something similar. and i think how i had a card i never sent her, with cactus on it, when i was in napa, but shit got serious and i never could send it, and then i just ended up keeping it, and i think i gave it away to salvation army in a little cheap gold frame idk? like the conflict to let go or follow through, and when somethings old and passed.. and when that energy isnt the same.... it traps me up.  but honestly i dont have love for her or for any of his family anymore. i did talk of kathy today to this lady whos next to me’s son earlier when he came in and was friendly, came in again when his moms here and hes so pissy and confrontational like trying to diss me for what? you JUST came in here being nice and whatever and then like hell bent on being an asshole for why? what the hell did i do to you? whatsup with these bipolar men? you aint even a man 21 yrs old so pissy wtf... i sure hope i have better dealings with my daughter when shes a teenager. this kid is retarded anyway, making fun of a handicapped man in front of a woman he talks to.. he was happy to start talkin to me.. and this kid had to just ruin it and diss him for no reason, i wish i would have spoke up about how disrespectful that was and how he made HIMSELF look bad and lost respect for HIMSELF. but i was on vistaril, and the thoughts were there but not the execution. thats why i dont like drugs. plus i couldnt sleep and it made me stuffy in my throat and neck and lymph system aiy im not having it leave my body alone with this shit! youre not pushing this shit on me i will be heard! its a struggle!!!

but ay this kid made my body uncomfortable, stress response with his petty bullshit like damn wtf? gtfo. teenagers for real need to go on a rite of passage, like in the old days. it is NOT RIGHT to have them around!! i truly TRULY believe that! its not healthy for anyone involved!! let them go... let them spread their wings and fly.. let them run into a tree.. let them feel that pain against the night sky, alone, and figure out what to do all by their damn selves! they want to. theyd prefer it. no teenager wants to be trapped. why do we work against nature? can we do something about this? what can we do? what social structure can we put in place to make these wrongs right? I mean, the army is the only way for a young boy or girl to go off on their own? or college- but how appealing is that for a lot of kids, after 15 years of the school system FOR REAL WTF!

I stand for a better world, thats what I stand for. I have incredible morals and ideals, as my venus in sagittarius would suggest. in the 3rd house.. communication, short distance travel, siblings... thats what that house rules, i cant remember what else.  I feel that brotherhood sisterhood of humanity... HUMAN KIND... BE A KIND HUMAN.. like that shirt i saw someone post on tumblr yesterday! SO CUTE! I need that shirt! Id buy it if i had money! HUMANKIND. perfect. yes i am a humanitarian and i love specifically, FIRE it is FIRE with which I LOVE !! SPECIFICALLY higher ideals, higher learning.... long distance travel/exploration/being carefree and adventurous... DIVA, its said, also. yes. I do seek to bring humanity what I have learned. What I have worked so hard to acquire.. understanding.. better ways.. “alternative” methods... theres so many people suffering, people who want help but the help that is offered is no good.... i want to be a person that helps. i always have. but i have assessed. i have reflected over and over, the past, what i have done wrong or why things have gone wrong or bad.  Its really simple when you realize.  You cant help someone who doesnt want help. This is something we hear a lot. So I realized, that Ive wasted to effort or time when, there ARE people out there who would appreciate and benefit from me... i COULD be of value.... i really havent been... im just ari to these people called friends and family. a nobody truly, respected for nothing really, just appreciated for who i am and being there but its just on a shallow level like anyone could really do that, whatever i did, i feel. i dont feel appreciated by my friends and family- i dont. i truly believe this is NOT just a feeling, but reality. and i face it. and i accept it. i accept people i have loved... just dont care, and dont see my depth or care to seek it for themselves or match me in my devotion or dedication to excelling in various ways, of serving, of growing, of giving, of loving. i am tired of being alone, amongst people that supposedly care for me. Adults have only cared what i can do for them. Only children appreciate me on a level that is reciprocated, on a level that i recieve anything nurturing or feel value in interacting... i DONT... i dont find value in interacting with adults really.  I still do it.  I enjoy conversating. but really i could take it or leave it. i appreciate the interactions and conversations, but i really dont care at the same time. i am desperate for attention and aware of it and not seeking it, i know where i come from, i know ive been a people pleaser, i know ive lacked genuine human connection and interaction. i know this. i prefer to be a loner. i like to laugh and interact. its cool. but children are what light me up, children are what serves me, fills me up, fills my cup. So the two cups are Ayla and Imani really, if we want to be symbolic about it in that way. They are kinda like the only people I truly care for.  I have shed everyone else. Even Megan. our interaction was vitally important for me, to have a friend to talk to via internet, but im done caring.... its just happened. maybe it would have happened anyway, i think it would have, but it sticks out in my mind how she said she thinks i have to let go of ayla. ill let go of you bitch. i laid my life on the line for you and she dont fully realize that even though i have told her, tried to tell her in the most humble way possible just showing my heart and what my intentions were. but really let go of my daughter? i mean i did. i DID. makes no difference. i mean, i understand though..... i remember being in Napa with my toddler Ayla and Megan struggling being sober and quitting smoking and using Lavender essential oil all the time, but first i remember how scary her situation was and how scared i was for her, i stood for her, i stood to be strong and support her, but i wont lie the situation didnt look good, and im sure thats how she and everyone else sees me. my strength or true work has not been evident. being a loser has only been evident. but i dont care, i work and work.... they are all basic to me.... i care of course, i mean i wish things coulda been different but im over it i accept what is. and im actually glad i havent been held down by taking care of a child who will ultimately be unhappy and take me for granted.. like how could i ever make it? i wouldnt be able to focus on anything. and i havent made financial career progress as much as ive needed to.. it hurts me that i should be farther along BUT IM NOT. I havent had the support Ive needed. and if i focused on my career and pushed all this aside... neglected my inner child... NOT delved into creativity.... NOT been true and real and fought to be sober when the adults will all tell me i need to be on pills or i need to do this or that.... i realize now i am a true leader...  i have power and peace and presence others do not have... because they have not put the work into it.... what ive put work into is transcendental...it is invisible, mostly unrewarded work. it has real effects.. i mean i had to.. i had to find my own way... forge my own strength. How can one just listen to what others tell them to do? Be a slave? Be a slave to those who hurt me? Obey those who hurt me? Who are blind? Perpetuate this awful cycle of doing what you have to do, and have no joy and work and drink alcohol and tell the kids to go play and leave me alone for real NO hell fucking no. children are beautiful gifts. and these people here.... they do not know how to handle their children, a lot of them, its the typical shit i see everyday. like really. youre not even going to enjoy your kid? just drag them along a miserable life, filled with have to’s? wheres the joy? i wana be around joy and strength and presence and VITALITY! i want a man that cooks for real. and loves and smiles and dances, and is weird a little but also so hott. like i deserve that, no? im really waiting for that situation where i would be of value with WHO I AM and what i have worked so hard to be... this shit aint free! i aint just frollocking around being carefree like people may think, fucking around, not being serious.... I guess im Low key serious.... Low key mike.. low key.. ive thought of him. but im let it go. last time i tried to just send him love he pissed me off and the vibe i had for him changed, i wished i had just left it at appreciating him in my heart, and left out the part where i express it. yeah. shit like that be so frustrating. thats what i dont need is just shit to spoil my day however little and petty or huge and devastating. anyway i was appreciated for things, mostly for listening and being intelligent and witty and beautiful and my body and sex and my effort in cleaning and love for the doggies etc....but it wasnt enough.. he was a drain on me... like a boat with a hole in it, where i have to continuously slosh out the water coming in whilst cleaning bugs off the boat and making sure dogs dont jump off and blah im done just really wow the effort... the draining... the complete draining of my energy... how fast it can go from good to terrible and dangerous for my health..... have to build trust over time.... i will not have sex with a man until we date for awhile... ill say.. but i know this may not be true. i chalk this one up to online, really. if i met him in person, we would have not connected i truly believe that. its only because we started out text messeging, saw each others hearts, but real, NOT compatible. emotionally yes and love yes- we totally experienced what astrology has to say... if he wants to be ignorant thats his perogative, most men dont accept astrology. they think they create themselves so much ahahaha i laugh everytime i say that. they are so stupid. but not all. some believe and see it to be true or to have merit. I sure ventured off from topic of 5 of cups... or did I? its all related. its a ramble. im flowing. man i wish i could relax though. time to hum. man i wish there was good food to eat. nourishing soup. please. PLEASE LORD feed me some good food that will do me good. i need soup so bad. I am totally finding a restaraunt tomorrow and demanding i do dishes or something, in exchange for some soup. I just wonder whats around besides fast food places. Ill have to take the bus probably. I need good food. I feel like I am dying. I dont get the right medicine, the right food..... i just have to be thankful for what i do got. im poor, money wise.. health wise i am also poor majority of the day.. its awful i really hope this changes soon its hard.... im gona lay down.. but its already been 5 hours since ive eaten dinner... i do have crackers... processed crap.. hopefully my body likes it.. man i havent had fruit in HOW LONG. or yogurt. i need yogurt. 

[furiousharmonykryptonite-blog1]

car insurance quotes for a few days

"car insurance quotes for a few days

car insurance quotes for a few days

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Im thinking of going to the EU, as kind of like a backpacking trip, but on a motorcycle! I was wondering how things work in regards to prices of Bikes there, and insurance that covers anywhere I might plan to go! I need some help making this idea a reality! Oh I'm 18 and i have both my drivers licence and motorcycles licence, I reside in BC, Canada. Thanks!""

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At this point I regret making a claim and wish i could turn back the clock. I am being forced into a box and it looks shady. Three weeks ago my 2005 Cadillac STS was involved in a parking lot flood where the water rose and filled the floors of my car by about 4 inches. All us neighbors had cleaning parties using a wet vac and baking and toweling are cars in the sun over the next few days letting our vehicles dry out. On my car everything works like a dream as it did before with the exception of a 'check stability control' notice that comes on when I start the car. I have been driving the car fine since the flood and decided maybe I should make a claim to fix this error that pops up on the dash when i start the car. From the time I dropped it off at the dealer it has been all negative. Right away the dealer was negative and telling me it's the end of the world with my car, everything is ruined and it will probably be a total loss. He got the adjuster for my insurance company out there and it looks like it will be put in to the total loss category. No i am just asking the insurance company to forget everything and drop the claim because the damage is not that extreme and i dont want to lose my car. I am told at this point it is too late. Is that true? My neighbors are floored by this, i have been driving it around for a few weeks just fine and the car still looks new With only 62000 miles on it. I can't help from thinking that something suspicious is going on here. Do they stand to make a nice profit by totalling my vehicle and then replacing one module for a 1000 or so and having a perfect car with all systems working? Also the lady from the claims office said the car had to be 80% damaged for it to be a total loss. I asked her if this was based on speculative problems that they think may occur in the future because of the water, or based on actual damage now? She said it had to be actual damage now but couldn't give me any details from the adjuster yet. Can I demand that the adjuster list everything that he thinks has been damaged to my car (which I am convinced he will have to be creative to do so)? The car as i said drives wonderful, I checked the fluids on my own (fine), and the car looks new. Do I have any recourse here? I just want the car fixed for the one problem, i dont want to lose the car, and at this point I don't even care about having insurance fix the one problem, but again I am told it is too late to go backwards and drop this entire issue. I almost have an inclination to report this because it looks so shady. No reasonable person would look at, and drive this car and consider it a total loss. What is the agenda of the insurance company and cadillac dealer here? Something smells foul with this situation.""

How much to get a 2007 BMW 335i insured?

I have been looking for a beamer recently and I found one it's a 2007 BMW 335i blue coupe and I was wondering how much insurance is for it in California.

Help with auto insurance?!?

So, I'm 17 and just recently bought my first car (2000 Dodge Neon), but I'm unable to drive it due to the lack of car insurance. I'm getting reeaaally frustrated because I don't know where to start! There's so many policies... I'm also running on a budget, so a cheap policy would be awesome. Any suggestions???""

Will Insurance cover this?

I ran over a rather large rock in a Toyota Prius and now the car rattles at 15 MPH, 25, 35, and 45 MPH. I dented the catalytic converter and I believe it needs replacing at the cost of $1800. I also dented the gas tank. In the 2007 Prius I believe there is a rubber bladder inside the tank that holds the gas. I am not sure how bad it is to have a dented tank such as mine. If I call the insurance and tell them what happened will that help ease the cost and I'll only have to pay a deductible? It's not my car and i'm not sure if it has full coverage or not. Thanks!""

""Planning on buying a newer car, wondering how much my insurance will go up or if it will at all?""

Right now I have a Ford mustang, and i'm paying about $800 every 6 months, i'm planning on getting a 1006 Grand Prix so since it's not a sports cr but it's newer will my insurance rate stay the same? Will it go up? Or am I lucky and will it go down?""

What kind of car insurance should I get? I am a student?

I drive a chevy tahoe that is worth about $3500. My current coverage is liability: 50/100 property damage: 50 uninsured motorist 50/100. I live in los angeles california. I pay 1000 a month for my insurance. This is not very affordable and I was wondering what I could do to pay less. I am insured by nationwide. I was thinking maybe I should drop uninsured motorist what do you guys think I should do?

Health insurance please help?

When you roll over, job wise, when does your health insurance usually start?""

Is 39.56 pounds every month good scooter insurance?

hey guys i have a yamaha maxter 125cc scooter but i cant get cheap insurance :/ the lowest one is 39.56 do you think i can get cheaper? am 19 am in london please suggest cheaper companys

car insurance quotes for a few days

car insurance quotes for a few days

Wat insurance should i use?

I'm 19 years old and I have a part time job. Wat is the cheapest insurance I can get? And a good one

How much is the insurance on Brady Quinn's new car?

http://liberal-debutante.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/pink.jpg

Is it mandatory to have car insurance in New York State?

Will I get a ticket or get my licensed suspended if I don't have I don't have car insurance?

What is the cheapest car insurance to get for a 22 year old for full coverage?

What is the cheapest car insurance to get for a 22 year old for full coverage?

Do you pay car insurance every month or every six months?

Need it for the class I'm in now. Help quick!

Cars And Insurance?

OK im turning 18 in a month and im getting a car but what is a good cheap car and a good cheap insurance

Can the car insurance find out that I have been in a car accident?

I have just gotten a new job and I said I havent been in a car accident, but I did twice. Are they gonna find out about it when they add me in their car insurance?""

Question about my insurance?

I had an accident two weeks ago I wonder if my insurance pay for my medical costs. (suppose I am at fault) and I have full coverage insurance which includes: Bodily injury 25/50 (is it for the other person involved who is not at fault or can it be used for me too?) uninsured motorist 25/50 comprehensive collision

Thoughts on car insurance quote?

I'm currently a 19 year old male college student and recently received a car insurance quote of around $1200 for 6 months. This is for the most basic full coverage plan for a Toyota 2011 camry. What are your thoughts regarding the price? Is it a good deal or should I continue to look elsewhere?

Do I have to register my car and change my insurance if I am an out of state student in California?

My insurance company told me that I do not need to change my insurance since I am a student living outside of my home of record address. Now, I keep hearing that I need to register and smog test my car in California since I'm currently living there while attending school. If I do such a thing, does that not mean that I will have to change my insurance to California rates? I do not plan on residing in California post graduation, does this make a difference also? Someone please help....""

Which company has the best insurance leads?

Which company has the best insurance leads?

If I'm under my dad's car insurance and I get in an accident...?

I'm under my dad's car insurance though I have a car of my own. My insurance company refuses to give me an insurance card under my name, saying (and I'm paraphrasing here) that they only give out insurance under the name they have under the title (I forgot exactly how they worded it). Even though my insurance card is not under my name and it's under my dad's, can I still get in trouble if I'm in an accident?""

Should i have to pay for my moms car insurance?

Now i am 18 and just graduated high school and i still live with my mom. She says since i have a drivers license and i live in her house her car insurance goes up and because of it she wants me to pay her like $150 every few weeks or something. Now its her car and i dont see why im having to pay anything i never hear from other people or my friends about their parents car insurance going up and them having to pay anything. So do you guys think i should have to pay for my moms car insurance or is she just making that up to bum money off me cause shes cheap like that and always wants money from me.

Just hit a deer while ago (Questions about insurance)?

While ago a deer ran out in front of me and caused a bit of damage to my 2002 Toyota Camry. Although the damage doesn't appear to be [i]too[/i] bad, (hood and bumper are bent, and the right headlight is a bit out of place though it still works fine, car drives fine) I didn't have my cell phone so I had to drive back home (not very far) from where the incident happen. 1. Will the insurance still pay because I left the scene? (I wasn't speeding, had my headlights on, and our seatbelts) 2. Will my insurance rates go up? (The damage [b][i]can't[/i][/b] be over $2000, so I can just pay that huge bill once, but that higher insurance will haunt me forever) 3. Will this go on my driving record? (The car is still very drivable and neither me nor my passenger were injured in any way). (I did not get a police report, at least not yet)""

High Risk Auto Insurance - Where can I find the lowest quote online?

Is there any online auto insurance website that specializes in getting the lowest rates on car insurance for high risk drivers? If so can anyone guide me to one?

Got my second speeding ticket will the insurance go up? do i need to go to court?

i recieved my first ticket this year in january. i went to traffic school and it got removed. so on friday i got a speeding ticket i was going 82 and the speed limit was 65. do i have to go to court? can i get it removed again? does it affect my insurance? i have ecompass insurance. im under my moms insurance is she going to find out? im 19.

How do you buy insurances?

I don't care which insurance it is, you look up complaints there is a looooong list about all of them.""

Can anyone give me an estimate on how much insurance would be on this car for an 18 year old?

http://www.arnoldclark.com/detail.html?ac_reg=cc_z7zzceuy0c1uz99c&$ac_branch=&$ac_min=&$ac_variant=&$ac_trans=&$ac_type=&$ac_model=Z4&$ac_body=Convertible&$ac_doors=&$ac_max=&$ac_year=&$ac_cc=&$ac_fuel=&$ac_color=&$ac_miles=&$get_results=View%201%20Cars&$ac_make=BMW&$ac_sr=0&$ac_pp=10 I'm 18, and am considering buying this car. I'm not naive, I am aware the insurance will be very high as I'm a teenager and it's a sports car, but is there anyone here who works in the car insurance industry who can give me an estimate on how much insurance would cost me a year?""

Does a speeding ticket raise insurance rates for new drivers?

I just got a speeding ticket for going 15 over. It's my first one and i have never gotten in trouble with the police before. But, I am only 17 and got my license only 9 months ago. If I just pay the ticket and dont go to court, how much more money will my insurance company charge me?""

How much do you pay car insurance?

yearly?

Im unemployed do i need to apply for obamacare/Affordable care act?

im unemployed do i need to apply for obamacare/Affordable care act? i tried creating an account online and it says to input your income. i cant leave it blank any information would help

Where can i get auto insurance for cheap?

i have a utah license but live in idaho. i don't want to pay much more than $150 a month.

Do I have to have car insurance in wis?

I have a car that is old, ( a VW Fox to be exact) and i was wondering if i need to have car insurance for it? i use the car for nothing more than to drive to work and back, because of the amazing gas milage, but i was woundering if im going to get into trouble if im ever pulled over and dont have insurance. I live in WIS so keep that in mind. Any help would be welcome. thx ahead of time.""

Do i need insurance to mot a bike?

also will the mot service station ask to see my licence?, how much does an mot cost, and how long do i have to wait? its a honda cb 500. thanks""

Hey looking to get my first car and pay for my first car insurance?

I'm 19 living in lake forest California looking to buy this car http://mobile.carsforsale.com/details.aspx?vid=164720610 Does anyone know how much my insurance might be ?

car insurance quotes for a few days

car insurance quotes for a few days

How do I sell Health insurance in California?

How do I sell Health insurance in California?

Civic mustang camaro insurance compaison?

just wondering because im getting raped by the insurance company right now. im paying 510 a month for a civic ex coupe, i am 17 but thats still insane. so i want to know if any of you know how my car compares the the insurance rates on say a mustang or camaro for me? im not getting one btw""

What companies do not offer employees health insurance?

I was wondering what kind of companies do not give their employees health insurance, besides temp agencies? Thanks""

Dose anyone know any cars with cheap insurance for a young driver (under 1000pa)?

Im looking for a car with a small engine so the insurance will be as low as possible. can anyone think of any good cars.

About how much will my car insurance increase...?

I recently received a speeding ticket for going 81/60. 4 points and 185$ fine...the officer said he would knock it down to 2 points and 80$ fine if i showed up to court. I'm 19, I live in S. Carolina, and I pay 195$ a month for a 2004 mazda6. Does anyone have an estimate on how much 2 points will raise my rates? Note: This is my second ticket; my first was an Improper start from start, no points 155$ fine. Thanks so much!""

""Looking at Insurance Quotes & found a car under our address that is not ours, what to do?""

so my family has been looking at insurance quotes the last couple of days and this random car always shows up under ours address along with the actual cars we have, my parents are worried someone might have used their name or sumthing.. how do we deal with this and who do we ask? on one of the websites I got the last 6 or so digits of the car's vin number. My brother suggested asking police department or the Security of State but who can provide us with this information and what exactly do we ask for ??""

What car would cost more to insure?

A used 2003, 2005 Mercedes Benz C230 or a New Mitsubishi Lancer? im a teen and yes i kno insurance is expensive and so thats why im asking b4 i get a car.""

Insurance expensive car?

well i was comparing insurance prices on gocompare on a 1989 205 1.0 and when i priced it at 2500 the insurance was 4k but when i put the real price at 650 the insurance went up to 6k. shouldnt it be cheaper if car is worth lesss?

Can I still collect money from a life insurance policy even if my husband divorces me?

I have spousal life insurance through my company on my husband which I am automatically the beneficiary. We are currently going through a divorce and he is currently dying of cancer. If the divorce finalizes before he dies, can I still collect on the life insurance?""

Moving in 1.5 months and getting a car - Should i buy before or after for car insurance?

I'm planning to buy a car but I'm moving to a new place in 1.5-2 months. Question is, should I buy the car while i'm still at my current address, or wait til I move to the ...show more""

What is a fast car that is in a relativley low insurance group?

I was looking at a 1.6 Honda Civic Type S as that is insurance group 6, but they seem to be hard to come by. They are mostly 2.0 and that is group 11 which is too high as I am only 19. Budget is around 3500. Any ideas welcome. Can go over budget and put the car on finance for the right car.""

Car insurance quotes?

Is there any place to get a car insurance quote without entering in a bunch of personal information? I am looking for quotes for a sedan, coupe, and SUV for a new 16 year old male driver. (Im trying to decide what a good deal is, and what is worth buying)""

How much does insurance on a Chinese moped cost?

I'm female, 22, 3 years car no claim bonus.. I was thinking about the Piaggio Zip 50 for 1000 but I'm now v. tempted and seriously considering buying a Guoben LB50QT-21 for 500. I've heard people have had problems with these bikes but I am buying it from an actual bike shop not just ebay. Does anyone know how much insurance I would pay on the cheap bike? Is it likely to be a lot more than a branded bike? Thank you!""

Im just about to start learning to drive have you got any tips what car i should drive to get lower insurance?

I want a beetle but i dont think that will give me cheaper insurance, i dont have any idea.""

""Arizona requires proof of auto insurance if you're stopped, why is that different than proof of citizenship?""

Arizona requires proof of auto insurance if you're stopped, why is that different than proof of citizenship?""

I am looking for an expert in Insurance Car...Home...Commercial.?

I am looking for an expert in insurance,who can guide me with car insurance and Home and Commercial. Please Working for DCAP Insurance...................""

Did you get Affordable Health Care?

My husband & I have insurance & it didn't change but my daughter & family got Affordable HC. Their previous insurance was $1,200 a month. They are now paying $325 so there's was a very positive experience. We're in California. They had a really hard time getting into the wed site but persevered & are happy with the plan. It covers their eldest son who is in college & has Type I diabetes & their youngest son who suffers from asthma. Does anyone else on YA have a positive experience to share? What State are you from.""

2000+ Toyota Celica Insurance and More?

I'm a 16 year old boy and expecting to buy this car for about $6,000 in August. I am looking for details such as mpg and insurance rates for a 16yo boy buying this car. I heard the mpg are really good on this car but will it be worth it if the insurance is high? Help me decide and give me other car ideas under the budget of $7,000 -Cory, CT""

Insurance for young adults?

I can't seem to get all of my questions answered from my own research, so I've resorted to yahoo answers. My family lost my dad a few years ago, and with him we lost our insurance coverage. We currently receive social security. This stops once I graduate. Would I be able to receive any sort benefits (any sort of welfare, food stamps, etc) as a result of this? What about college grants? Also, my mom, sister and I don't have any health insurance. I want to apply for affordable insurance, but I really don't know much about it. How much would it cost, and what are my options? Thank you so much for anyone who takes the time to answer this, I really appreciate it.""

What kind of affordable health insurance plan is there for small business owners?

I have a friend who is in the process of moving to Tx and is looking to start his own business but is hesitant because he has a wife and two kids and does not know what to do regarding health insurance.

Car Insurance???

Can anyone advice me what is 1st, 2nd and 3rd party insurance? and what is the different between the 3 of it.""

Will my medical insurance pay?

Will my medical insurance pay for my transportation to work. I just had my drivers license suspended for MEDICAL REASONS. PLEASE HELP!

When you get a license do you need insurance? Or is that only when you own a car?

Hi, I live in New York State. When I turn 17, I plan on taking drivers. ed. and getting my license (i think it's normally 18 years old for licenses, but if you take classes you can get it at 17). Do my parents have to pay insurance for me once I get my license? Or is that only if I own a car? Thanks P.S. Extra question - what is the usual/average rates for 17 year old drivers with good grades (i just need a estimation no specific numbers necessary) thanks""

When is the best time to cancel car insurance?

Car insurance is coming up to renewal. Found a cheaper company to go with for the next year. When is the best time to cancel, before the renewal date or just after? I want to keep my NCB I have built up with them and move it over to new company for the next year, also if I cancel before the renewal date would this affect my NCB that I have built up with them?""

Cheap motorbikes to insure?

19 just passed my bike test wat a get a big bike and insure it with restriction 33 bhp. im looking at the GPZ 500 S , but there all far away , insurance for third party is 496. a year. Any one know any 250-750cc engine motorbikes that are cheap around 500-1000, and are chear to insure, i wanted the kawasaki ninja 250, but 2008 year is 1750 and the insurance is over 750. a year. to dear for me, so any idea's please let me know! thanks.""

car insurance quotes for a few days

car insurance quotes for a few days

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cheap-liability-car-insurance-san-antonio-tx-maya-spencer/"

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oregon insurance jobs

"oregon insurance jobs

oregon insurance jobs

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I was in a car accident yesterday. I live in California. I had no insurance at the time, although I was unaware that my girlfriend had not sent in my quarterly paryment and was actually driving without insurance for almost 3 months. The day after the accident I went in to the Highway Patrol's office and spoke to the officer who took the report and informed him I discovered I had no insurance. He didnt seem all that concerned and thanked me for going in. As for the accidnet itself, I belief I will be found at fault as I did not brake in time and rear end a small car who in turn hit the car infront of her. I was traveling at about 30 mph when I started to brake and I heard the firefighter at the seen tell the chp he thought it was 25-30 mph. If anyone could tell me what I am facing legally and finacially. I read online I will automatically have a one year driver's license suspension. Is this accurate and is this all? WIll I ge a ticked or fine? I would also like for someone to rule out jail time. The driver immediately infront of me had good damage to the back of her car and was taken to the hospital with minor injuries. Her daughter called me the day after the accident and told me she was at her house but wanted her car fixed soon because she wanted to return home in another state. I suggested she call her own insurance and let them know I was inot insured. THe other driver in front and her passenger were also taken to the hospital with minor injuries and their car had minor damage when I looked at it at the time of the accident. I have not heard from them. Financially can anyone tell me what I am facing? I understand I will be responsible, but I also understand that the other parties' insurances will have to cover their own drivers. If so will I simply be responsible for their deductable. I am more concerned with the legal aspects than the financial. I am an single father of three and need to be there for my kids. Thank you to whoever can help!""

I have cancelled my old insurance with a company and i need a renewal notice to get cheap insurance.?

i have called the old company is asking me why i need the renewal notice from them. they told me they have put it in the post but i did not receive anything. the only mail i received, was the sorry to see u go mail the next day after i cancelled the policy. With the notice i can show i have a 6yrs no claims discount. How do i get the old insures to send me the notice with the no claims or do i just tell my new insurers to contact the old ones. Please this is urgent. Serious answers only""

Can An unlicensed person buy auto insurance for their car and have other drivers?

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Long story short my insurance lapsed. I got into a car accident where i was backing out of a driveway and as i shifted the car into drive i was backed into my side driver door by ...show more

Car insurance without a license? Help?

Hi. So my dad just bought me a car in Chicago. We live in North carolina. I need to transfer the title and get it registered, but i think i need insurance first. I also need proof of insurance to get my license. I dont know who will give me insurance without a license and a car that hasnt been transfered into my name yet in North carolina. So what do I do? what insurance companies have policies for somebody like me where i can spend a decent amount. I'm think 250 max a month. and yeah my parents dont wanna put me on their insurance.""

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How much does Ensure cost?

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I've lived w. my mother all my life and gradually she has gotten more and more unorganized leading to disgusting living conditions. I have always kept my room together and received good grades to move on and out of my mothers house. In 2008 during my first week of college , I was diagnosed with a disease called Lupus. I was removed from the Boston College campus and forced to take time off of school. Since this, my return to school has been an long and difficult process. I am now 20 cooping well with the disease and attending night school. I have very little income and I was denied SSI as well as state insurance. As I am in the process of reapplying I find it hard to remain in my mothers living conditions in that no matter how I keep my things separate I have still accumulated unsanitary conditions. I dont know where to go for help and I am afraid of the stress I am experiencing causing me another flare and long hospital visit. I live in Rhode Island and have tried the welfare and community health care route. The only success I receive is hospital health care and a few doctors who are willing to discount my mandatory visits. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that is keeping me health is my faith and religion. As my relationship with God grows stronger I also find my self stuck in my situation. I know I would do well living on my own and getting into a regular routine I would just need a small boost of medical and financial support through any means available in the area. Any suggestions will help :) God Bless.""

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Hit and run but the victims car didnt have insurance?

ok so i was in a private parking lot and i accidently scratched another car i left because i was stupid and got scared. the cops came and found me the next day and i got charged with ...show more

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""Any opinions on AUTO INSURANCE in Providence, RI? cheap prices?

cheap prices

How much will my insurance be?

im 21 never had an accident i have a scion fr-s and plan on getting a yamaha r6 next month and this summer im buying a wrecked supra for a project car once everythings fixed what will my insurance cost?

oregon insurance jobs

oregon insurance jobs

Question about insurance?

Hi. Why car insurance is cheaper for: policy holder with driving licence held for 1 month and additional driver with provisional licence held for 3 months than: only a policy holder with driving licence held for 1 month ?? could someone explain me why is that ?

What's the average insurance premium for first drivers these days?

I'm 18, and im going to buy a car. It's a 2002/2003 car, so not too recent. Im looking for quotes online and the cheapest im getting is about 4500. This is me being the policy holder and not any other family members. Does this sound right? Personally i think it's outrageous... Thanks.""

Which car insurance is better GMAC or Allstate?

I currently have AAA insurance, but I don't like my agent, so I am switching. GMAC and Allstate both gave me good rates, so I am trying to decide between the two. Please let me know of your experience with either company. Thanks!""

Will someone elses tickets effect MY car insurance?

recently my friend got two tickets in my car. We went through a police stop and he wasn't wearing a seatbelt in the frontseat of my car while i was driving and got a $37 ticket. I also let him drive my car because it was past my driving curfew since i'm under 18 and it was 2am. He got us pulled over for speeding and got a $294 ticket. no one else can drive my car on my insurance plan so what does that mean for me?

How does car insurance work?

I got my driver's license last January when I turned 16. Our family only drives one car. My dad has insurance for our car under his name. Do I need insurance under MY name to drive the car too?

Is it illegal to drive with no car business insurance if i'm a delivery driver?

would it be illegal if i get stopped by police while doing deliverys for pizza hut and i dont have business car insurance? or is it okay to just have personal insurance and do deliverys.. thanks in advance

Car insurance for a 21 year old?

My friend has been quoted 1200 per year for car insurance and his 21. Is this alot? How can he get it cheaper and thats for an old banger!

How much do you pay car insurance?

yearly?

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old?

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old?

I live on Long Island who has the cheapest car insurance ?

I tried all the big guys the quotes are the same .who is the cheapest of cheap with no extras?

Would I be eligible for California In-State tuition?

Im graduating from a foreign country, and im an american citizen. If i were to move in with my gradparents who live in california and are cali state residents, and they become my gaurdians, would i be able to recieve in state tuition? Or do i have to wait a year, work, and become a resident? Does it make a difference that im graduating from a foreign country? Im taking my sat 1's. If now, what do i have to do step by step?""

Cheapest SR22 car insurance?

Can anyone recommend which auto place (ex: safe auto, geico, etc) has the cheapest SR22 insurance. I already know there's alot of different variables/situations but i just need an idea. I've only had 1 dui and it was 5yrs ago.""

What kind of health insurance is best for business?

in my family i am alone young and i have small business. i am afraid if any thing happen with me, my family become many problem.""

Car Stolen with Keys - Insurance Claim Issue?

Hey guys need some help My partners car was stolen last night and we have just noticed this morning The keys to said car was in another car (within a handbag) parked beside the stolen car what has happened is the car with handbag in it was broken in to, handbags were raided, found keys to the car beside and it was then driven off with What way will insurance see this? I know if the keys for car are left within that car and its stole most insurers dont pay out but what way might this situation pan out??? any advise greatly appreciated""

When should I expect money from a car insurance settlement?

Today, i was going through a green light and a driver ran a red light and hit the back of my car. i spun out and eventually stopped before hitting anyone else. I was wondering about how long should i expect to wait for insurance to comp me for a rental car (if applicable. i believe i have triple A) and to give me the check for a new car. i have a few follow up questions. 1. what amount will my insurance give me. i have liberty mutual and i had a 2001 kia sephia with 97000 miles in good condition. i just had new tires, alignment and oil change done to it because i just got the car about a week before. 2. the fender, axle, and back tire are completely totaled. the back drivers side is smashed in so should i try to fix or take my losses. 2. should i sue the driver and get a lawyer involved? or just take whatever my insurance will allow me to have? any additional advice, warning, guidelines or wahtever will be helpful also. thanks.""

Will my insurance rates go up?

My daughter who is 16 yrs old tapped a car from behind at a stop sign. There was no damage done to either car and no injuries. The guy said he was not going to do anything about it since there was no damages. My daughter gave him her information (insurance etc). I called the guy to make sure everything was ok, he said nothing happened to his car or himself but he went ahead and opened a claim because he thought he had to do that. I know that if he decides to ask for damages the insurance will pay. My question to you is if he decides not to ask for damages, will my insurance still go up and will she get points in her driver's license. Also, I'd like to add that we live in California. I have not talked to my insurance (AAA) yet. Thank you""

Teenager's first car accident . Insurance?

So my sister is 17 and a new driver. She rear-ended a guy.. It was just a fender bender and its only the plastic part of his car that's damaged. So my sister DOES have insurance, but didnt have her actual Insurance card on her. (But the cop didnt seem to care). She was driving my mom's car and used her car insurance info. now the guy on the other end...was this old angry guy yelling at her. The problem is that HE didn't have his neither his Driver's license OR insurance. He said he would 'settle on the side' so her insurance wont go up. But does he have a case?? Technically, he shouldnt have been on the road. He doesn't have any insurance! Should we pay him directly? file a claim with our insurance? or do absolutly nothing?""

How much of a difference per month for car insurance is there between a sports car and a regular car?

How much of a difference per month for car insurance is there between a sports car and a regular car?

""How Can i keep my car, without paying insurance?""

I have a car that i DONT want to sell, but i will not be using very often, can i keep it WITHOUT paying insurance, because obviously it would be a waste of money to be paying insurance on a car that i do not drive.""

""Non owner SR22 insurance for TEXAS, what is a cheap website?

I don't own a car so I don't know what to do... Help! Thanks

How much will my insurance be on a BMW 114i?

Ow much will my insurance be roughly on a brand new BMW 114i 25K, I'm 17 yrs old and I think this car is a 1.6l, please tell me how much the insurance will be for me, I need a price with and without my parents added to the policy, my address is 2, bd8 0bw. 2012 plate 3/5 door hatchback Petrol""

Insurance rates-will they increase with 1 speeding ticket-58 years old?

will my insurance increase with one speeding ticket? i have aaa auto insurance

How much would insurance cost for a 16 year old?

I want to buy a 1 year old camaro but was wondering how much insurance would cost for a 16 year old male. I need an estimate for the cheapest insurance. Even if the liability is really small.

Car insurance for older people?

im trying to renew my grandads car insurance,(hes 81) and looking for a cheap company that can beat his current price of 537pounds a year. thank you for any sugestions""

Had an Accident Car insurance question?

I had my first accident the other day and it was pretty bad. I was the person at fault. I am about to turn 21 in 8 days. I have allstate insurance and the othe party of the accident no has a lawyer even though he acked fine at the accident. How much will my insurance go up and is there anything else i should know or can do?

oregon insurance jobs

oregon insurance jobs

Insurance for young drivers?

I just passed my test im 18 tomorrow and i am looking for short term insurance but fairly cheap. I have already tried to look online but most of the insurance company's require the driver to have a years experience on the road beforehand. I desperately need to drive and i desperately need to have insurance. Can anyone please advise on cheap company's plus how to arrange it all?? Thanks

What would insurance cost for a 16 year old?

I turn 16 in two weeks and i might be getting an Infiniti G35 coupe. We have state farm and i can't due a quote since i don't have my license yet. Can anyone give me an idea of how much the insurance would cost?

How long does it take to get auto insurance?

if i apply now how long will i be able to get the insurance? im a new driver and i need insurance 4 myself. i need to drive a car with insurance before may

""When you rent a car, what happens if you get into an accident? Does your own insurance company?

cover your liability? Or will insurance automatically come with the car you rent? How does it work?

Normal Insurance on the Dodge Charger?

I'm looking to buy the dodge charger 2011, I want a car that's good on gas and insurance. I have a Grand Prix right now and i'm fine with my insurance on that but I can't find out how much insurance is on a charger because I don't have one could someone tell me the about the amount of insurance I don't need and exact number.""

I need help on which plan is better for dental insurance?

My teeth are in fairly good condition except my wisdom teeth are coming out so i want to have insrance just in case i have to take them out. Im 19 and i havent been to the dentist in like 3 years. Im trying to get a plan with blue shield of california but their are two types of plans HMOs and PPOs and im confused the link is the comparison of the two. https://www.ehealthinsurance.com/ehi/dt/compare-plans?showCarrierLogo= can anyone who knows about dental insurance help me out which one is better?? Thanks

Teen driver and car insurance?

I am 17 years old and am looking to buy my first car. I have found a 2002 Buick Rendezvous CX that I am very interested in. The only problem now is insurance...With my car insurance company, Liberty Mutual, it will be close to $800 every 6 months! That is A LOT of a teenager or for anyone to be paying. That is also being under my parents policy which has the best coverage. What can I possibly do to finagle a lower price? I know that the car should be registered as pleasure driving, I have good grades, took Drivers education...what else can I do to try and lower my payment every 6 months? If there are any tips, please help me!""

My boyfriend's nephew got hit but he doesn't have car insurance.?

my boyfriend and his nephew were involved in a hit and run. however, his nephew doesn't have car insurance, will this have an a negative turn out for him??? i don't care about the other guy having or not having insurance...but will his nephew get in trouble? we live in California, it is illegal to have a car with no car insurance, registration, and license. please help!!!...how would it turn out for him??? HE WAS THE ONE THAT GOT HIT BY THE OTHER CAR... his nephew is the victim""

""My insurance company, Liberty Mutual will not insure me?""

I've recently had an unfortunate string of 2 accidents that were 3 months apart, both cars were totaled from them. I've been driving for three years and I got into one accident when I was 17 (first car was totaled) and one accident when I was 18 (minor fender bender). Anyway, I know I know I'm going to take defensive driving course to help out with my driving, any suggestions on Insurance companies?""

How much does workman's compensation insurance cost?

How much does workman's compensation insurance cost?

Why are all my insurance quotes so high?

Ok, I'm 17, passed my test in june. been getting quotes on comparison sites for a 1 litre vauxhall corsa (1995) and the lowest quote is 4980 a year. I have triple checked each and every question it asks me and they are all correct and good. i am not insured on anything else, no no claims bonus etc. im a college student so how the hell do they expect me to pay almost 5000.. they are ridiculous to even set these prices thinking someone is going to use them. please any responses as to why my quotes are so high? tyvm""

What would the minimum insurance for a 2008 Ford Ranger truck for someone over 30 w/ a good driving record?

...in Texas. A female. Can you recommend one?

""How much is this going to cost me? In IL was driving with no insurance, license & got into a car accident?""

I did however get insurance right after the accident, so my proof of coverage began the date I got my ticket. I did not have a drivers license because I was waiting for my certificate. I got my birth certificate and am taking my test tomorrow. My court date is monday. How much will I have to pay?""

What is the average cost of motorcycle insurance for a HD night rod special or VROD?

What is the average cost of motorcycle insurance for a HD night rod special or VROD?

Question about car insurance for teenagers?

I'm in California, my friend called an insurance company and they said underage drivers can drive on their parent's insurance coverage if they have insurance, which means he doesnt have to pay since he's 17 and his dad has insurance on his car, to make a insurance contract he has to be 18. Is this true he can drive on his dad's insurance?""

I was a passenger in a car accident. The car was not at fault. Will my insurance go up?

Also, just to know, assuming that the car I was in had been at fault, would MY insurance go up?. Again, I was not driving.""

Car Insurance?

My car insurance renews in january.. what if I pay it all off say by april, but then I get a new car in May does the insurance transfer over and I pay the difference for the new car? and what if I didn't pay off all the insurance but got a new car would I not have to pay off the rest of the balance? I never understood this.. thank youu""

Average family health insurance cost?

for a school project i need to calculate how much my healthcare insurance costs per month. i am about to be a college student and do not understand how the entire insurance process works. i come from a family of 5, and apparently i have blue cross health insurance. was wondering roughly how much it costs monthly for my insurance, or what is an average monthly rate for health insurance for a person who is under a family health insurance committment? any sort of clarification helps thanks. c:""

We res the cheapest place to get car insurance?

We res the cheapest place to get car insurance?

Car insurance after accident?

I am 18 and have been driving for 1 year, I used to drive as an additional driver on my Dads Renault Megane, I crashed it from spinning off and hitting a wall, luckily no one was hurt, I just had a few cuts from shattered glass. The police have arranged for me to have an interview next week to discuss the consequences, at the moment I have no convictions or anything on my licence, my Dad just bought me my own car and has said he'll pay for the insurance in full, it's quoted at 880 for a year if he pays in full, he was planning on paying in full in 2 days, I'm not trying to cheat the system, but if my dad pays in full and then I get a conviction after the transaction has been made, can the insurance company up my insurance considering I had no convictions at the time? I'm not trying to beat the system and cheat my way, I'm just curious as to what will happen. Thanks for taking the time to read!""

Best online insurance website?

i own a insurance broking firm in india, insurance in india is at very nascent stage. want to launch a service oriented internet portal to sell insurance online. please suggest me some good insurance online websites where i can emulate some of the best practices and also please give me suggestions what people expect from these online websites and broking firms? Any Bad/good experiences. All your inputs would be very very valuable""

Is AETNA a good health insurance to get?

my benefits package came from work, it offers medical from Aetna is that a good health insurance provider? What about Guardian Plan ppo for Dental??""

What is a good car insurance company - value and a known company - not high risk?

I would like to switch car insurance companies - one because when I buy a third car and add it to my policy they charge me $5.00 for installment billing even though I pay in full - this leads to the second more serious complication which is that my husband works in the car business and on occasion decides to buy a new car b/c it is a good value and he like the car, then we sell the second car. We typically have the second car for 11-22 months. I mentioned to the insurance company that in the future I want to avoid this $5.00 fee since I always pay in full and I waving it this time wouldn't solve future issues b/c my husband is in the car business and we buy a third car to sell the second when he finds one he likes. THEN the cust svc guy goes on a rant - ARE YOU RESELLERS... blah blah blah and WE HAVE STRICT UNDERWRITING GUIDELINES blah blah blah etc. I tell him that holding onto a car for the time periods that we have would certainly indicate that we are not... and titling it""

What is the cheapest car insurance for young driver?

I'm 19 and had my NY license for 1 year now. I am a male and um I'm not looking for an expensive car. just a cheap one under 10g

Cheap reliable and low INSURANCE!?

OK im 17 monday after next and im a bloke, hence very expensive car insurance. I want a second hand car in the UK which is cheap and likely to keep running. Also low insurance because i am a cheapskate.""

oregon insurance jobs

oregon insurance jobs

Car Insurance question?

I live on a very busy side street where there is more cars owned by people that live on the street than there is parking spaces for these cars. I am just wondering if i have to park my car on the road around the corner fron where i live is the insurance still vaild if it gets stolen, because when i took out the insurance i was asked where is the car kept over night? and i said on the street where i live""

Is It A Good Idea To Get Rental Car Insurance?

I was posed that question yesterday when I rented a car.

Will my parents' insurance rates go up?

I recently got 2 traffic tickets (1 for speeding and 1 for disobeying a traffic control device). However, the car I am driving is registered under my parents' policy and I am not the primary driver for it. Will my parent's insurance rates go up because of this, or will this only affect my driving record?""

Insurance rates on classic sports cars for new drivers?

obviously, insurance rates are higher for new drivers and even more so if they drive a sports car, but aren't rates lower on classic cars? if so does the reduction make up for the car being a sports car? for example, a 1965 Ford Mustang.""

Why my car insurance coming so expensive?

I am in leeds and thinking of buying a car but when i am searching all comparison websites its coming about 1000 pounds a month. I have 3-4 yrs expierience in driving in USA and i was paying there like 30 pounds per month. I talked with insurance company and they are saying that because i just came to UK as well as have international licence its coming that high my car comes in group 17 of insurance. Any other solutions for these? if people are new here i dont think they are paying these much every month Please if you know any good agent who can reduce these let me know. Else can i take insurance from usa or my home country India?

""What type of Health Insurance is good for me? As far as deductibles, office visit, and coinsurance.?""

I want to get a Health Insurance for me and my family? I am self employed and therefore cannot get Health Insurance through my employer. I am 57 years old and my wife is close to my age, and will be visiting doctors' office more than 5 times a year. I am confused as to which type of insurance is the best choice for someone in my situation.""

Cavity/No Health Insurance?

So my tooth is freaking killing me, ouch pain....but my problem is i currently don't have dental insurance. Does anyone know on average how much it would cost to go to the dentist to have a cavity fixed with out insurance? HELP!""

On average how much is car insurance if you've been in an accident and?

I wasn't speeding, I didn't slow down enough to make a turn on a back road ( I didn't notice how sharp it was) and swerved off the road. how much more will insurance be for me now if I find an alright vehicle. (And I know it is really bad when your young, I'm 18, so I know it will be high as is, and because of this I know it will be way higher, I just need a basic idea of how high it will be and for how long. I've never been pulled over before, nor do I speed.)""

On average how much more is insurance when you add a teen driver?

I am 17 and I've taken driving lessons( I heard insurance give like a little discounts) if this matters.

Could someone please explain health insurance to me?

Difference between PPO HMO DRG Private insurance, and deductibles I read it in my textbook but all these terms I'm not very familiar with so no matter how much I re-read the paragraphs I'm still a bit confused... I might sound stupid but oh well! Clarify for me please! Thanks for all who answer""

Insurance?

If Im 17 and have my license, can I drive my friends car with insurance? or do I have to also have it?""

Cheap Driving Insurance - Can anyone get me a better deal??

ok my mother (48 been driving for around 23 years 8 years no claims) is the owner/driver i am a named driver (21 with 6 points) been driving under 1 year because i got license revoked and had to resit my tests The Car is a fiat brava 1.4 red 5 door 5 seats worth about 1000GBP cheapest quote i can get is with the AA 600 comprehensive is there anyone who can get it any cheaper???

Is motor insurance compulsory in most states of the USA?

Is motor insurance compulsory in most states of the USA?

How much would motorcycle insurance cost for a young and new driver?

So I 'm 18 years old and thinking about getting a sports bike. I have a drives license and haven't gotten any tickets yet. I just want an estimate on how much i'd be paying in insurance every year..and which insurance company provides the best price? I'am thinking of buying a used sports bike but am not sure on which one yet. Thank you in advance and If you don't have anything nice to say please just move along lol:))

How can I get the best quote for a car insurance in the UK?

I have just bought a car, but I haven't driven since I moved to London, 5 years ago. I am doing a research on-line to get the best quote, but they all seem to be a bit pricey. Does anybody know a telephone number in the UK where a person (rather than a machine!) can find the best deal? I am tired of websites such as moneysupermarket, as you end up having to contact companies individually... Any help would be greatly appreciated as I would like to bring the car home today!! Many thanks in advance!!""

Can you get car Insurance with No Bank Account?

My question is would it be a problem to obtain car insurance without having a bank account, my credit is in the toilet because someone ran up my debit card and the over draft fees forced the account closed, and now the bank is asking for $600.00, and I can't afford to pay that off with the kind of salary I have, so can anyone let me know if their would be any difficulty in just paying in cash or perhaps money orders or even a check in someone elses name?? thanks""

Would someone's car insurance cover....?

a banana (yes dont ask) being flung into the grill of the car, being sucked into the engine and other parts and causing damages worth about 15-17 grand? a friend threw a banana at a guys car and it did as described and im praying that the guy's insurance would cover it so that he gets off with a manageable fine. if he cant pay the guy, hell end up doing time which i really dont want to see him do. :( pleae HELP this is a serious question unfortunately :(""

Scooter Insurance Certificate ?

How long would it take to receive a Insurance Certificate through the post ? And can it be done through Email ? I need to know because im dong my CBT soon but my bike has no TAX at the moment. And can anyone recommend a good CHEAP insurance company ? Thank You Very Much James

How much does liability insurance cost for a night club business?

I'm trying to get a night club business started and i need insurance how much does it normally cost? and what kind do you recommend getting?

Life Insurance for my family?

I'm trying to figure out if it will be worth to get life insurance for my family? Now, when I say family I mean my parents and siblings. I'm only concern with getting something that's affordable like term insurance I didn't hear to many good things about whole insurance.""

Questions about sr22 insurance?

I have a sr22 insurance with arizona and I just got a california license if I cancell my sr22 with arizona and get regular insurance with california can arizona suspend my california license if so how? A little more information my car is registered in california and I live in califoria not arizona

Need cheap insurance?

I make 12.50 per hour and I work for a small company our insurance really sux and it is exspensive I have a wife and a 3 year old daughter I am 21 and my wife is 20 and we live in Michigan is there some kinda of insurance that is cheap and reletivley good please help. Also vision and dental but health most of all. Maybe even some secret government help or something I just need some finicial help really

Is car insurance very high in California?

Is car insurance very high in California?

Are you glad you have individual Health Plan?

I work freelance and I am looking into getting a health care plan. I haven't had medical insurance since elementary school but now that I'm approaching mid 20s, I wanted to prepare for the emergency, the 'just-in-case' situation. My problem is that I have a very negative impression on the insurance business and health care itself. I've gone to health clinic from a floating rib and I paid $300 to be told that I need to get tylenol LOL My relatives and friend went through some misdiagnose, multiple exams and charges. Some friends go through such a bull5hit time - one friend was charged $500 to borrow a blanket in the waiting room at a health care clinic and all she had to do was make a call and complain to cancel the full amount. We were baffled So.. they get paid $500 for lending a blanket? They take the $500 away if we complain? It's like complaining at a restaurant LOL!!! I maybe ignorant, but it makes me so upset to see people without insurance having such a hard time affording health care. Health care and insurance makes me feel like I'm giving into a manipulative scam - like buying a $120 clothing that only costs $5 to make. But incase I break my face crashing on my bicycle, I guess I need one. $500 for a blanket? I wonder how much X ray actually costs to buy, operate, and maintain. I'm sick to my stomach thinking about it. Anyhow, I know I'm ignorant, please enlighten me. Any positive experience on having affordable individual plan would be great. Thanks in advance.""

Question about getting car insurance for mil!?

Long story short my mother in law lost her car insurance and can't afford to get insurance back my question is can my husband put her and her car under our insurance?!?

oregon insurance jobs

oregon insurance jobs

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/jaguar-7-day-free-insurance-priscilla-glenn/"

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Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

"Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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If i get a ticket for window tint will my insurance rate increase? Also how much are the window tint tickets? I am aware that some officers give you a fix it ticket but if they dont how much money is the ticket? I am located in California and just want to check this out before I get my windows tinted.

Car insurance rate for a 17 year old male in Arizona through Geico?

I am planning on calling them to see what they said but I was curious as to what the typical amount would be. I am a B or higher student, depending on the class. I am a full time student, and will be for 5 more years... I have a job, and its been the same job for almost two years (if it matters) I will be on my moms plan, she hasnt had an accident in atleast 10 years, atleast from what i remember. I will be driving to work and school mainly. Most likely not driving more than the average mileage a year. I am assuming the type of car matters. It most likely going to be a 2007 Nissan Sentra 2.0L. It has less than 60K Miles on it. I hope that this is everything. Thanks in advanced!!! Kevin""

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Who has this insurance? Whats ur take on it and whats the cheapest price do they offer?

""I got pulled over, and failed to surrender insurance?""

I was driving my friends home from a party one night, (being a DD), unfortunately I was caught going 123 in a 90 zone, and then I got pulled over. The police officer told me that not only I was speeding, but I was driving past midnight with a G2 class license. But the only thing I was charged with, was a 65$ fine for not surrending insurance, because I was driving my Dad's truck and could not find the insurance papers ANYWHERE. Since the police officer said there were no demerits to be added, does this mean my insurance rates will go up? I plan on pleading guilty and paying the ticket.""

HOW MUCH is your car insurance for your 17 yo boy?

Prices are crazy here in TX. We would pay $800 every 6 months for our son to drive our car. And he can't drive one of them, because we only have liability insurance on that one (he might make a mistake and cream the car and we'd have no insurance to fix it--our daughter already did that with the other car!). Is it fair to tell him he can't get a dr. license until he can pay for the insurance? In our state, you can get a license at 16, but we've made him wait.""

Does anybody know of or know a way of finding an insurance company that insures car park operators?

I want to hire 50 car parking spaces from a major retail outlet in the UK with a view to renting these spaces to commuters /I will be sharing their car park with the retailers customers. Does anybody know of or know a way of finding an insurance company that insures car park operators?

How much insurance for a Mustang in Florida?

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Is insurance cheaper with driving school or learning at home?

i want to learn at home.

Average Insurance Cost For Pest Control Business?

On Average What Is The Cost Of Insurance Of A Pest Control Business In Florida?? Thanks.

Whats the cheapest place to get insurance?

I got a 01 kia optima im 23 years old, male, and paying about 100 dollars a month for full coverage. Company: American Family. Any better deals""

How Much Would Insurance Cost On A Mitsubishi Lancer Evo?

What would be an approximate range on insurance cost for me? I was considering buying a mitsubishi lancer evo and need to factor in the cost of insurance. It would most likely be a 2003. Model: Mitsubishi Lancer Evo Car: Year 2003 Age: I am 16 soon too be 17 State: Oklahoma Occupation: Student (3.5 gpa+) Other Info: I would most likely only drive to school and the gym 5 days a week, less than 10 iles a day round trip. I would be able to pay a higher deductable if need be. Live: with parents Background: Father is a Radiologist - Income: easily 300k+ Although I come from a very affluent family my parents are making me pay for most of my car If I am lucky they will give me a 10k allowance max.""

Where can I find a comparative listing for auto insurance rates?

Where can I find a comparative listing for auto insurance rates?

Barely tapped a car I have no license or insurance I checked the kids car nothing even happened to it not eve?

A scratch...my mom had an emergency so I had to pick my little brother up from school. As I was about to park I got a little close to just tap his front bumper. He said it was fine nothing happened I had asked him about a little piece of plastic that looked like it latched off and he told me he wasn't sure if it was like that he asked for insurance I didn't have any he called his mom and my mom spoke to her. The lady is asking for 200$ (never even got an estimate she just came up with 200$) and she won't report it to her car insurance. I know I can report her to the cops for trying to extort money from me and it's also a felony in the state of California.. This happened yesterday... So can she really do anything?

Where i can get tips of cheap auto insurance?

Where i can get tips of cheap auto insurance?

Does anyone know where a 17 year old with a 3.8 grade average and a good driving record can get insurance?

I can't find anyone that will cover him,except Progressive, and they want 1400 dollars a year.""

Can a 16 year old male afford a Mustang with a V8( GT or LX)?

I've discussed getting a mustang to my family and friends for quite a while now. I know the downsides, high insurance, bad gas mileage, and too much power(according to my parents). I'm a big fan of the foxbody('79-'93) mustangs and I also really want a V8 and I also want stick if that matters. The way I see it, I'm going to pay a lot for insurance no matter what, so why not pay a little bit more and pay for the car I really want. It doesn't matter if its an LX or GT even though I've heard that LX's are cheaper, but how much cheaper. I've looked around for answers to this question and all I've seen are responses that tell me either that its stupid to get a Mustang or I find answers that have links for sites that will tell me. I just want a good answer and possibly how much insurance will cost me. I only want minimum coverage and it will be on my mom's policy. Also, one more question, how much cheaper do you believe a '90's Honda Civic(2 door sedan) would cost me in comparision to a V8 Mustang? Thanks for any responses, Aaron.""

Teen car insurance!! ?

im 15 and getting ready to buy my first car. i really want to know about how much my insurance will be. im getting a 2001 toyota celica and i live in north carolina and im a girl. can anyone please help?????

Cheapest auto insurance in Toronto?

Cheapest auto insurance in Toronto?

Looking for cheap insurance?

just baught a van and looking for insurance companys numbers,thanks sean""

""If I'm a registered driver but I'm still with my mom, will her insurance costs go up?""

I'm 16 and I want to get my learner's permit then eventually my license, but I heard that my mom's costs would go up even if I didn't have a car.""

Why is car insurance so expensive for me?

just passed my driving test this month and i checked how much car insurance would be for me and its 3000+ :'O when my younger female cousin passed she got her insurance for 900 on the same car!!! how can i get it cheaper? =[ im 17 male

How much does jay Leno pay monthly in auto insurance?

Since he has a ton of sports cars

Will i have to buy individual health insurance starting 2014?

I have a job I am paying Medicare tax. Is it still mandatory for me to buy individual health insurance starting 2014?

Which would be cheaper- my university insurance or insurance from the exchanges (obamacare)?

The deadline to enroll in my university insurance is before September, but I don't know if I should wait until October to see what options from the exchanges there are? Also, are all the insurance programs from the exchanges required to cover pre-existing conditions?""

Which cars tend to provide the most affordable insurance rates?

Compacts & small sedans that provide the lowest monthly auto insurance rates.

Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

17 cheap car insurance??

i live in the u.k im searching for car insurance for when i get my car does anyone no any car insurance companys that do cheap car insurance for my age or comparing sites. iv already tried compare the market and confussed.com links would be amazing thanks guys X

Anyone have Healthy families insurance in California?

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have a high deductible kaiser insurance plan. I have a feeling I will end up paying 4500 (my out of pocket max) to give birth. Anyway, I recently found out I qualify for Healthy families insurance for me and the baby, so I applied and waiting to hear back. Just wondering if anyone has their own insurance in addition to healthy families? I wasn't sure if I could have double coverage to get help with the deductible... It's too late for me to change my plan because open enrollment at my work has already passed""

Auto insurance for a 19 yr old with a 1989 corvette?

My uncle is handing his 1989 C3 Corvette over to me as a present for getting my license.. I was wondering how much insurance would probably run me..I'm 19. College Student. Good GPA. Employed. I Live in Vegas if that helps. Thanks much!

Cost car insurance in michigan?

hi im 19 live in michiganand want to get a car. it will be valued at around 8,000-10,000 dollars. how much will the absolute cheapest car insurance be per year. i have never been in an accident or had any tickets. thanks for any responses!!""

I been shopping around for insurance with different insurance agencies here in CA ?

and noticed that the premium is about the same for all of them but the broker's fee ranges from $100 to $300, can that be negotiated ? or is it illegal to do so ? i like one of the insurance agencies since they were super nice but they also have the highest brokers fee, could they match the other agencies price ?""

$600 Fine For Expired Car Insurance? BC Canada?

Today I got a $600 fine for a week expired car insurance and my car got taken away to an impound . Is that the right price for British Columbia, Canada?? Because I've heard that its supposed to be 100-200 first time, 300-400 second time, 500-600 third time? This is the first time I've ever had a ticket because of expired car insurance so why is it so dam expensive? Can I get some of my money back at least? Seriously $600 is way too much""

USAA auto-insurance discounts?

Does anyone out there have USAA for car insurance who ALSO has banking through USAA? I've been told by USAA that if I did have banking with them that I'd get a discount on auto insurance as well, but they can't tell me any specifics as to how much of a discount. If it's only gonna save 10 dollars or something I'm not gonna mess with it. Anyone out there able to tell me a decent estimate on how much I might save or how much they save?""

Buying car insurance for a used car?

im buying my first car, used. and all i have knowledge from are from the internet. i live in California. when i see tv commercials, i often see the buyer being able to purchase their insurance when they are on the CAR dealer. my question? when is it do you get insurance? BEFORE OR AFTER YOU PURCHASE A CAR? also when getting quotes online, you have to add the car that you OWN, so im guessing you have to buy the insurance after AFTER?, BUT the policy seems to start the day after you purchase your insurance, so does that mean your driving the car illegally for a day?? if you were to buy the insurance (online) before and have to add your car, im guessing you have to be SET AND SURE you are getting the car when your policy starts? none of my friends knows about this because their parents own it and they don't care about their insurance... im so confused. help me.""

What is the normal procedure for a car accident without insurance?

3 weeks ago I hit a womans car in Sydney with my friends 4WD. I did not have any insurance on my side and now the woman's insurance wants me to pay for the damage. They gave me a call saying the damage was AU$ 5760 but if I would pay AU$ 2900 in the next 4 weeks that would be it for me. Now Insurance companies are not known to be humanitarian organisations so why would they let me get away with less money? I also talked to an Australian friend today who said the woman's insurance would have to give me three quotes on how much the repair of the car would be before they start doing anythin. Being a traveller I feel like the Insurance company tries to take advantage of my minimum knowledge of Insurance issues. So could someone please explain me the usual procedure for something like this?

Go auto insurance company?

i am looking for some cheap car insurance company and i have found go auto insurance to be the cheapest so far with what i need. has anyone heard of this insurance company? and if so, good or bad?""

My license suspended cause of insurance payment were can i get a very cheap car insurance?

please help

How can I get cheaper insurance?

I'm 18 years old about to be 19. I paid 200 monthly for insurance but found out there raising my fee to over 500 bucks. I used progressive to find a quote and I got 400 from it. I got in one car crash last year. What are my options?

Car recommendations for a college student?

I'll be getting my first car in the spring of 2012. I'm staying in an apartment near the campus, and I'll have a bike for that. The majority of my driving will be errands around town, and driving the 117 miles back home occasionally to visit family. Low insurance, high gas mileage, and safety are top priorities. I've got about $15,000 to spend on the car. I will have a part time job to pay insurance/gas/etc. So far the only car that appeals to me is the 2010+ Mazda3 because it has a nice exterior, and I love the interior and features compared to other small cars. Gas mileage is decent, but not the best. Also, if I go for the hatchback, will that raise my insurance costs? Do you have any other recommendations? The Mazda3 has the best interior that I've seen so far, that's the basic factor that's keeping me from other cars.""

What is the best car insurance i can get?

I am 18 and have a minnimum paying job.. what would be the cheapest car insurance i can get? its a 86 honda accord.

I wonder if anyone knows of any good but affordable health insurance.?

I have two children and lost my health insurance on them. My husabnd and I are trying to find insurance but cant afford alot of money a month and we dont qualify for Tenn Care so if anyone knows of any please let me know. Thank You!

Is it legal in the state of Kentucky to own a car without auto insurance if I don't drive?

Is it legal in the state of Kentucky to own a car without auto insurance if I don't drive?

What is the best insurance companies in NYC?

What is the best insurance companies in NYC?

Car insurance?

Do you know how much the car insurance will increase the insurance premium for an accident which involves no claim, no injury, no police?""

Is a Ford KA cheap to insure?

I am a new driver, just passed my test ( im 17 ) and thinkin to buy a ford ka as a first car. Is it cheap to insure tho? Around how much? Thanks""

Car insurance for a 21 year old?

Im 21 years old. living in the uk. i pay 1,2500 a year on a citron Zara Picasso im 2nd driver as my mum is 1st driver. iv been driving since January 2010, i have done pass plus too, i am looking to get a car so i can get cheap insurance. my mate pays 800 a year hes been driving for 3 years, he drives a ford KA.""

What is a cheap car to insure for an 18yr old

and who does cheap insurance?

What are the cost of car insurance?

I'm a 17 yr old female, just recently got my g2, i live in ontario canada and was wondering what my insurance cost would be per year. i will be registering as a secondary driver, and there are currently 2 cars, and will be getting a third one, for me. i have talked to friends and found out that they pay about 200 bucks a year and depends on my parents driving records. Is it possible to pay just 200 dollars a year as a secondary driver?""

Car Insurance in NY?

Car Insurance in NY,NY Some used car after year 2000 , for 18 yr old.? I heard its like $4000 a year.?""

""If i activate the speed limiter on my car, do you think my insurance would be cheaper?""

I have a 1.6 citroen c2 vts, and my insurance is pretty pricey. It has a speed limiter, and i've heard about this before. If i tell my insurance company i have limited the car to 70mph do you think it would be cheaper?""

Long Term Disability - Life Insurance?

If you were no longer able to work and went on short and then long term disability from your job and then you die, is your family still eligible for life insurance that you had through your employer?""

Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

How much does motorcycle insurance cost in California?

Im 18 and i live in california, On average how much would insurace cost for me? . Also lets say i do get my license without purchasing a motorcycle, will my insurace rates still go down throughout the years even though i do not own or currently riding one?""

Where can i get complete information about business insurance ?

where can i get the complete data for business insurance ..

Car Insurance discrimination?

I was filling out a car insurance quote form online , I put my mother as the main driver and me as additional but accidentally put me as a spouse , the quote came back as 400 pounds. As i reviewed the quote i notice my mistake and changed it to Other ( Spouse , Partner , Other only listed ) and then my quote came back as 2000 pounds. I am 18 years old and getting car insurance is hard but my question is how does being married make me a safer driver and is it possible to take insurance companies to court because of there overlooked age discrimination""

Looking for an affordable reliable rehab center in TX.?

I have a family member who is in need of rehabilitation (pill addiction). La Hacienda is 26k for 35 days. Do you know of anything cheaper but reliable, or is that 'normal'? ...show more""

""Car insurance rate, Toronto, 18 year old?""

How much for a MALE 18 year old, 20 year old, and 25 year old would car insurance cost if you got your License when you were 16. In Toronto.""

Car insurance Policy expiration date?

ok so my grandma told me that my car insurance expires 9/15/2011 but on the paper I have it says it doesn t expire till December of this year. I don t know if she got it confused or what. I don t have a phone to call them my phone is text only. On top of that I am looking for a new insurance company I currently have Farmers. I paid $50 for my insurance, but i was on my grandma and dads insurance, I dont know if it would be the same if I paid by myself or if thats just how much i paid being on their plan. if you can answer any of these questions that would help alot.""

""What is the average price of health insurance in Queens, New York?""

I am 26 years and turning 27 soon. I would like to know the average price of health insurance in Queens, New York? I tried getting some quotes online and all the prices are coming out to over $1,000 a month. Some of them more close to $2000. I didn't know the health insurance for an individual was this high. In this Case, I don't think any one who makes low starting salary would be able to get health insurance. I used to pay a little more than $100 a month when I had student health insurance. Also, I heard from one of my cousin(who is 50 years old)...that he pays less than $500 a month...Which made me get confused when I got the quotes online. Also, it is really difficult to get quotes online since they ask for personal infos. I do not want to give any of my personal infos. Can anyone please tell me if there are any health insurance plan ranging from $100-$400 a month? Thanks~""

Please help! I'm looking for an affordable health coverage plan (not Healthy N.Y. or any medicaid programs-

I don't qualify for these programs.. As I make too much-but not enough to afford health insurance. My husband takes meds. everyday 3times daily. I'm getting quite scared. Can anyone help!! Thank you!

What is the best motorcycle insurance to purchase?

I have a motorcycle, and I'm looking to find insurance. I took the basic riders course that offers insurance discounts. What is the best and most affordable motorcycle insurance to get? P.S. My car insurance company doesn't offer motorcycle insurance""

How Much for a 17 year old to have full coverage on a car?

I REALLY dont wanna be on my dads insurance anymore, because i want to get a car of MY own in MY name and im not sure what to do because of how much full coverage would cost for myself. Any suggestions. Can i have my car in my name and be on somebody elses insurance? or what? i just cant pay 350 a month for full coverage!""

""Hi, Maintenance cost for 2001, BMW 318 sei series?""

hi, I am thinking of buying my frist car, and i was thinking of a second hand year 2001 BMW, about 80000 miles, just wanted to know whats the servicing and maintenance cost for a BMW is like? Is it expensive ? does it break down often or is it a solid car? Otherwise i might look for a japanese model or a hyundai coupe. I was thinking of peugeot 206 as well and VW golf. hows the insurance for all of these car? Which car is better for a fresh graduate like me?""

My car insurance is too high under parent's name?

My sister added her car under my mom's insurance and they pay for both cars $347 dollars 6 months for just liability coverage. When I tried to add myself to my mom ...show more

Would abortion be commonplace and covered by insurance if men got pregnant?

I think it would be.

Can you buy multiple life insurance policies?

If one had a whole life insurance policy valued at $1M, and through a life settlement company sold it for $455K; could you essentially use those same funds to purchase another life insurance such as a universal life insurance policy for $1M?""

HomeOwners Insurance?

Roughly, how much does Homeowners insurance cost a year for a 2 Bed/1.5 Bath condo in Gainesville, FL?""

Insurance for Bentley GTC Continental?

I (sadly) dont have one of my own - yet (im working on it..) Just out of general.Theres another new footballer on the go,hes only 21 & recently purchased a bentley.Approx. for someone in there early 20s how much would insurance cost? (I understand hes a footballer,he earns more a year we all do lol..) Thanx in advance xx""

Annuity insurance in colorado?

what is my coverage for an annuity under Colorado law?

Live in different states then parent: Car insurance?

Do I have to live in the same state as my dad to have my car under his insurance? I live in NC and he lives in SC if that makes a difference. Thank you!!

Why is auto insurance cheaper in quebec than ontario?

Why is auto insurance cheaper in quebec than ontario?

How to get cheaper car insurance?

Im 17 and looking to buy a ford ka. I have looked at quotes online with me as the main driver and using my parents as named drivers to try and lower the premium but the cheapest i have found on price comparison sites is 2100 for the year. I was wondering if anyone could help me and knew anything that could reduce the payment. Many thanks for your time, sam.""

On average how much is car insurance if you've been in an accident and?

I wasn't speeding, I didn't slow down enough to make a turn on a back road ( I didn't notice how sharp it was) and swerved off the road. how much more will insurance be for me now if I find an alright vehicle. (And I know it is really bad when your young, I'm 18, so I know it will be high as is, and because of this I know it will be way higher, I just need a basic idea of how high it will be and for how long. I've never been pulled over before, nor do I speed.)""

What is the average yearly cost of landlord insurance?

Let's say the place is a newer (built after 2000) duplex in Texas and has a $1,000,000 liability policy as well. Can someone give me a ballpark estimate?""

Affordable health insurance in NC?

Hello everyone. I have been a few months without health insurance and I know I need it. I am looking for some affordable insurance, health, dental, and possibly maternity? I am not pregnant but I want to take some preventative measures just in cause, I know it can be expensive. I keep looking but $700 and such a month is really not in my budget right now. So does anyone know of some cheap insurance? I'm in NC. Thanks everyone!""

How will my insurance handle a guy that hit someones head in my car?

a guy hit someones head into my car and says he wants to go through insurance to pay for it. I had nothing to do with it, I just happened to be there, but theres a good sized dent. Is this going to make my rates go up? i took it to get an estimate and was around $450""

Teen car insurance price?

I want an idea of my monthly insurance cost now that I have my license and a car. Here are the details I'm male and 16 years old I live in the North Hills outside of Pittsburgh (pretty basic suburbs) The car is a '93 Pontiac grand am. 90k miles on the engine I'm the third owner Good condition with some rust just starting to form on the wheel wells I am the primary driver It is usually kept outside

Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

How long can I not have insurance before my car is repossessed?

This month I am not going to able to pay my car insurance due to other bills coming up. If I cancel my policy this month how long will I have before they repo my car? I live in New Hampshire.

Drivers License with Insurance?

Do you have to be on someones insurance if you get a driver's license? I don't know what company my mom gets insurance through but her insurance would go up four hundred and thirty dollars because of my sister's driving record, but the lady said I HAD to be on someones insurance right after I get my license. But I called the local DMV and they said that I don't have to be on someones insurance if I get my license. The car just has to be insured. Who do I believe? Because I heard that sometimes insurance companies try to milk you for money... Who do I believe? Can someone give me a real LEGAL answer?""

Texas Car Insurance Questions?

I'm living in Texas for school right now and I've been driving my car which is licensed, insured and registered for Michigan because I'm technically still a Michigan resident. At the same time I'm still paying insurance on a car of mine thats in Michigan for my mom to use. Well, the car that I've been driving here in Texas died on me so I went to a dealership and bought a new car. Now I'm unsure what to do. Do I call my insurance and have them insure it through Michigan again? (But then how would I get my Michigan Plates?) Or because I bought it in Texas, am I suppose to register it in Texas and get the state inspection and then insure it in Texas? I'm so confused. In Michigan, the cars don't need those yearly inspections.. so idk what that is. Also, I'm considering staying here in Texas once I'm done with school..so I feel like that plays a part in my dillemma too.""

Do I need to have my own insurance to drive a friend's car?

I have my driver's license but don't own a car. Do I need to buy insurance for myself if I want to drive a friend's car, or am I covered under his policy? The car is insured in Florida and I have a Georgia license.""

Weird health insurance situation?

My hubby had two claims from a sleep study clinic that were marked as Out of network by my insurance. As such, the insurance company cut me a check for the portion of the bill that they are required to pay (instead of paying the clinic directly). I had to cash them immediately or else the checks would be void. Normally, we get a bill from the clinic with our total bill (including what the insurance needed to pay) and we then pay what the insurance wrote us a check for in addition to our portion. Now, the clinic has decided to write off what was marked as out of network. So, I have the money and nowhere to pay it. Is it ethical/legal for me to just keep it? It feels really wrong...""

Where can I find affordable health insurance for me and my family?

How can I find affordable heatlh insurance for me and my family? We are currently unemployed with no health insurance.

Why are car insurance rates so high in sunbury-on-thames?

Thanks

Car insurance?

what happens if you have liability car insurance and a guy that smashes your car hits you and he doesnt have any insurance? are you covered or are you screw ed?

How much is car insurance for a bugatti veyron?

How much is car insurance for a bugatti veyron?

""New driver, teen car insurance?""

does anyone know about how much the average teen's car insurance is? im 17 and looking for a car, i have $1750 in my bank account... about how much would car insurance cost me? and how much do i have to pay upfront? i know its sometimes cheaper if you have good grades, and i have straight a's. can anyone help me? thanks!""

18 year old car insurance rate?

Can you give me an educated guess on how much it would be per month or 6/mo to insure an 18 year old boy on a 2005-2009 Mustang GT? Can Military service lower/raise the rates?

Did you know that you save money if you have higher prior limits on insurance?

Okay, this seems to be a secret in the auto insurance world, but my insurance agent told me that if you say you have higher limits when switching to a new company your rates will be $200-$300 dollars lower! I didn't realize this would make a difference. For instance, I said in the beginning I had $25,000/$50,000 (liability) my rate was $1400 per year, then I took my old policy into the office and I really had prior limits of $100,000/300,000, and my rate when down to $1282 just for having higher limits at the other company.""

How much would it cost me to insure a ford focus st 06 plate?

Im only 17, my 18 birthday is coming up and i only need a bit of money to buy a focus st, i really need to know how much insurance would be since i am only 17 wont have the car until 18 though. Dont know if that would make a difference! Would just like to know what price estimated ? Thanks for reading x""

Why is my car insurance so high?

I have full coverage insurance on my 2005 Honda civic and I am paying a little over $850 every six months. Every quote I get isn't much better. Why is it so expensive? My insurance lady says that it's because I am a young driver with a newer car. But my YOUNGER sister has a car 2 years newer than mine and she pays about $350 less every six months. I have no tickets on my record. I did have my license suspended about 5 years ago. Why is it so expensive and how can I get it down? I can't afford this sh* t. Thank you!

Health Insurance Vs No Health Insurance?

Joe is currently unemployed and without health insurance coverage. He derives utility (U) from his interest income on his savings (Y) according to the following function: U = 5(Y1/2) Joe presently makes about $40,000 of interest income per year. He realizes that there is about a 5 percent probability that he may suffer a heart attack. The cost of treatment will be about $20,000 if a heart attack occurs. a. Calculate Joes expected utility level without any health insurance coverage. b. Calculate Joes expected income without any insurance coverage. c. Suppose Joe must pay a premium of $1,500 for health insurance coverage with ACME insurance. Would he buy the health insurance? Why or why not? d. Suppose now that the government passes a law that allows all peoplenot just the self-employed or employedto have their entire insurance premium exempted from taxes. Joe is in the 33 percent tax bracket. Would he buy the health insurance at a premium cost of $1,500? Why or why not? What implications can be drawn from the analysis?""

Is insurance required in north carolina?

if one had a car registered in georgia, he decided to pass through NORTH CAROLINA, the insurance expired, he gets pulled over. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?""

Cheap Car Insurance for a 17 Year old in the UK?

Im a male, i dont want no comparison sites as they are useless i can find sites that will give me good quotes, and please dont tell me to insure a 1.0 - 1.2 litre engine as i have figured out i can insure a 1.9 diesel engine for like 200 more. However i want to know if you know anymore than my current listen i have tried: Tesco llyods Tsb Direct line Virgin Vauxhall Citreon Peugoet If you know anymore can you please tell me thank you""

I was stopped by police for no car insurance which I thought was covered on my other car. What's the fine?

I'm 28 and have been driving for 9 years but have no record against me before. It will go to court but does anyone know a ballpark figure of the fine/points, etc...?""

Health insurance in USA?

hello, i have few questions regarding health insurance for americans. 1- What is the average annual cost of health insurance for adults? 2- do children get free healthcare or should they be covered by the insurance? 3- who can benefit from free healthcare in america? 4- if americans pay tax how come theyre not entitled to free healthcare?""

Why does your motorcycle insurance ask whether you're married or single?

Why would this affect your insurance cost?

How much would insurance on a motor scooter cost in the state of ohio roughly?

How much would insurance on a motor scooter cost in the state of ohio roughly?

Usaa car insurance rates?

Hey guys! I was wondering if you could answer my question about the usaa car insurance rate for a 2011 Hyundai Genesis Coupe for a 18 female driver. Thank you! :)

How much is car insurance for a jeep wrangler?

i am 18 and have a clean driving record

Which company offers the best priced automotive insurance? I have a teenage driver and the rates are killing!

I have seen many ads for GEICO but I do not know anyone that has tried them. I currently have PROGRESSIVE but do not think I am getting a great rate with them.

What should i look for in Health Insurance? ?

i am 19, ill be 20 on 10/29. live on my own.(so i kinda have a budget) this year i went to see a doctor 3 times so far... (when i had health insurance) i dont get sick often but when i do get sick, i get really sick... i dont just get a cough... i get it all. ear infections. fevers, ect. i usually end up in the emergency room about once a year. so what should i look for in health insurance? thanks!!""

Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

Alamosa Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81102

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