#please acknowledge this if u read it so i know who to be awkward with lol

[half-dead-writer]

https://www.tumblr.com/half-dead-writer/765380870575161344/do-we-fuck-with-patelgraves-patelgraves-frotting?source=share

me again, i didnt think far enough ahead and i didnt expect a reply uh, do whatever you please with the prompt i guess :3 i read the rules after and realised its an x reader only blog so you can have it x reader too if you want i got too silly and let the demons win by asking im sorry LMAO

At first I was writing my own thing but realized it would fit to Anon's ask sooo here you go! Gideon's relationship with Julie is up for reader's interpretation whether he's not dating her, in an open relationship, or maybe even cheating on her if you're into that who am I to tell u?? one important thing tho is that it's NOT supposed to be a non-con fic - they all CONSENT, they wanna fuck each other aight?? Both Matthew and Y/N probably had some sus moments with Gideon previously but now since they're in a relationship there was never any talk of "hey um actually have u ever considered dating Gideon too??" simply cuz the topic never came and not like either of em had the guts to admit they think Gideon is hot this was supposed to be just a hot scenario of all of you three fucking after doing something risky but I took into consideration Gideon's character (also included the part about cameras only because I think it'd be in his style to do so) and how serious the situation would be IRL - HOWEVER, this is fiction, and aside acknowledging the possibility of Gideon blackmailing you, I wouldn't even call it dubcon. If Matthew or the reader refused, I didn't intend to write Gideon who would actually proceed with the blackmailing, it would just be an awkward situation for all of you. Fortunately it isn't! well now that's out of the way enjoy the self indulgence

It's Worth The Risk (NSFW)

You got invited to Gideon's party, you and Matthew get frisky in the middle of it, Gideon catches you, spontaneous threesome happens

characters: Matthew Patel, Gideon Graves (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off)

words: ~8,2k

reader: gender-neutral

warnings: brief degradation kink mentioned, drunk sex, being walked in on, voyeurism (?), public sex, overstimulation, crack treated seriously?? no beta

𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔰 + 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 / 𝔖𝔠𝔬𝔱𝔱 𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪 𝔗𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔒𝔣𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

A few years of working for Gideon brought you many things. Mostly money, but also a lot of time to teach yourself how to be patient, even at the worst moments. Being his assistant, you were by his side almost 24/7, you were pretty sure you knew him better than most people, saw him in his glory days and even when he fell down from grace as Matthew took everything away from him. Seeing Gideon lose all of his possessions was pretty shocking, especially when you got to witness your boss hanging from the rooftop, being overpowered by a man he used to call weak. Even though their combat happened mostly out of your sight, them fighting all over the facility and all, you couldn't deny worries began to flood your head the moment Matthew dared to challenge him. Gideon, used to being the one in charge, didn't even think of a potential loss from his side. He underestimated the odds, and suddenly he was left with nothing in the span of a few minutes.

Even though Gideon was a professional asshole, you didn't know what to expect from Matthew Patel. He probably wouldn't be as much of a menace as Gideon, but still, your boss changing was not something you expected. After just a few days, you noticed how clueless Matthew was as a CEO. He obviously didn't have the experience and it showed with how much money he lost in a single day. Given no choice, he reluctantly had to ask you for some guidance. Seeing him lowering to your level gave you much more confidence, which helped your overall image of him. He wasn't a big, scary boss anymore, but something of an acquaintance. The acquaintance status soon changed to a friend, and then a friend changed to a boyfriend.

Fast forward to today, your life turned out to be pretty great. Instead of being an assistant, having to tolerate Gideon's antics all day, your only duty was to be a stay-at-home-partner for Matthew, who was now a Broadway star. Aside of him having to leave on tours, you were pretty happy.

★ ★ ★

Receiving a letter with both your and Matthew's name on it would not be so shocking if it wasn't from the Gideon himself. He had invited you both on a party, something about all exes gathering together and just having a good time at his headquarters. He already went thru the trouble of getting back all of his empire from Matthew legally, but he had to make a point, throwing a big get-together to show them all of his regained power under the pretext of wanting to catch up. You acknowledged Gideon was a big part of your life, even if nowadays he was just a mere face on countless posters and magazines. It was pretty surprising when he seemingly confirmed to have the same opinion about you, bothering to include you along with Matthew in the invitation. Perhaps he allowed all of the exes to bring a plus one to the event?

Turns out, he didn't.

Arriving at the place in your nicest outfits, neither you nor Matthew noticed anyone else along with the other exes. Perhaps Gideon just had the courtesy to invite his former assistant due to all the years you worked for him, as much as it was out of character for him. You didn't have a reason to complain, even if Gideon wanted to flaunt with all his possessions, who were you to turn down free food and booze?

Although it was a bit awkward at first, the party was a nice change of pace. Happening in the Chaos Theater, it had all the necessities needed for a party. A big, open dancefloor, a barman, loud music and couple of electric faces. You were thankful he didn't go as far as to include a cage dancer into the package, knowing it was a regular occurence from your time as a worker in G-Man's media. Both you and Matthew had to agree - it was a good time. Especially when the alcohol began to properly course through your veins. Seeing Matthew on the dancefloor was probably the highlight of your day, he was in his element, even if other exes had a good laugh about his (more than charming to you) moves.

Exhausted from all the dancing and having too many drinks, you had to remove yourself for a moment, disappearing into the bathroom after giving Matthew a quick heads up about your whereabouts. He nodded, choosing to occupy a free space on the nearby couch as he waited for your return. Seeing the party bustling with life, he was far from being bored of it yet, but the slowly rising buildup in his abdomen was getting really distracting. He should've foreseen this would happen.

Due to Matthew's recent musical hit, your relationship didn't have much time for any intimate moments. Of course, previously, that didn't bother him, the importance of his plays overshadowed any need for sexual release, he simply paid no mind it. Unfortunately, the drinks seemed to bring these nasty thoughts out and he feared his body would soon start to betray him.

He really didn't wanna think about it. The night was going great, he didn't wanna ruin it by being a perv. Subconsciously beginning to tap his foot, his mind raced with every possible thing to distract himself with. Work. Musicals. Anything that would still entertain him while staying as far away from the topic as possible. Unfortunately, nothing worked. All of the thoughts just seemed... annoying. Curse his undignified body for forcing him to go through this embarrassment.

Having enough time to think over his options, he finally deducted - he had to talk to you. Yes, it was embarrassing, but he trusted you. The night was still young, but perhaps he'd be able to convince you to go back home, as rude as it would be to the other guests. He mentally blamed himself for having such a low alcohol tolerance. He really wanted to be focused on the party and everything else going on, but the itch inside persisted with determination. He had to get himself together.

Scanning the crowd, your figure managed to hit his eyes just before you emerged from the corridor leading from the bathroom. He approached quickly, pulling you gently onto the side, hidden from the other guests. What was he even gonna say? He looked at you with something akin to fear, gaining a worried head tilt in response.

"Is something wrong?" You asked, fully taking into consideration the way his brows furrowed with anxiety. It was unlike him.

"Um... actually, yeah." He avoided your piercing gaze, uncomfortably scratching the back of his neck. He balanced his weight on his foot, swinging on one side as he tried to push out his next words. His stare bored onto the wall before him, as if looking for the answer that would magically form in it.

"You know how... we- we didn't really do anything, uh, in bed, recently?" He muttered out at just enough volume for you to hear him.

"...Yeah?" You questioned further, cocking your brow.

"I'm- I-" He stuttered, the words just refused to eloquently be put into a clear sentence, "I would- really wanna go home, and... D-Do something about it. Like right now."

You stare added even less confidence to his already tipped off nerves, feeling as if he was just caught robbing a bank, and the surprised chuckle hitting his ears after was just the cherry on top. He was about to sputter more explanatory rambles until he was cut off by the gentle tone of your voice.

"My plan was to throw myself at you right after we arrived home after the party, so I get what you mean." You smiled, amused at the red that coated his cheeks after his confession. "But the party just started-"

"I- I know!" He exclaimed in annoyance, clenching his fists, embarrassed and under the impression you didn't take his words seriously. "But you just look so pretty tonight, and I don't want the others laughing at me when I can't control what my own body does!" He softened his features after a moment, they were harshened by the scrunch of shame on his face.

Tapping his foot as a way to calm himself down, he continued. "It's embarrassing." He muttered, the sentence feeling wrong on his tongue. "I feel like a damn teenager."

"Okay, okay, calm down," you took his face into your hands, reassuring him. "Let me think."

You couldn't deny, you were in a similar situation, but the urge wasn't as strong as Matthew's. You did your best to occupy yourself and wait for the main event later. But now, your boyfriend coming up to you with such a request pushed your lust up to the surface, and you couldn't ignore the thought of doing something right this moment seemed very appealing. Taking a second to respond, you thought of all the possible solutions in your mind. The party was blooming, catching up with the rest of the exes was fun, especially when their personalities shined more with the alcohol added into the mix. You didn't wanna leave yet, but you also didn't wanna go home, you probably wouldn't have the strength to come back, and it would be hard for you to explain your momentary disappearance.

Pouting your lip, you hummed in thought. You knew what you were gonna say was a stupid idea, but you decided to do it anyway. It was worth to get a second opinion.

"...What if we'd be quick about it?"

Matthew's face contorted into shock right after he heard you. "What?" He had to ask, the reply seemed too outrageous to be serious. "Here??"

The bashfulness soon overtook your face, smiling with just a bit of shyness after being met with such a response. "...Yeah. I- kinda wondered how it'd be like." You felt the need to clarify.

"B- But- Won't the others be wondering where we are??" He struggled to keep his composure, his eyes still conveying the everpresent nervousness, yet now also showing something else. Spark of interest, maybe?

"Not if we hurry up. Then we'll say I was getting you some fresh air after you got sick from the alcohol." You made your plan on the spot, an easy excuse.

"Wait, why would I be sick so soon?" He said before fully processing his question. Your look made him quickly rethink your idea. It's true, if anyone at the party were to be sick at the start of it, it would be Matthew. Sighing, he had to agree with you. "Okay, maybe that would work. B-But where...?"

"Hm... The bathroom seems too risky. Someone could come in." Instinctively, you looked both ways, expecting someone to ruin your perfect plan. Thankfully the corridor was still empty and quiet in contrast to the muffled music coming from the end of it.

"...What if we searched for some private room?" Matthew suggested meekly. "Gideon has some of those, right? I saw them... I never knew why does he need so many rooms when he only uses half of them. It just makes the place look bigger than it actually is." He thought, recalling his brief as a CEO.

"No, he keeps them closed," you disappointingly brought up the fact you remembered from working as Gideon's assistant. "But... He doesn't lock his office."

Matthew tilted his head in disbelief. "Really?"

You nodded. "Yeah. I don't really know why, but I've seen him leave it open. He doesn't bother to close them, I always had to do it for him."

"Well- If you think that's a good idea..." He looked around, freshly filled with anticipation. Even though it was a very stupid idea, one that could backfire very easily, you ignored the possible repercussions, mind clouded with adolescent-like excitement of doing something risky.

Taking Matthew's hand, you tried to refresh your memory of a path to Gideon's office. You knew the way pretty well, being forced to go through it everyday back when it was your job to do so. Would it really be so easy? Or would Gideon add to your misfortune by locking the doors on this particular night? Thinking about it, you hardly seen him mingling at the party. He was there for sure, you caught some glimpses of him interacting with other people, but somehow, you and Matthew haven't spoken to him since you entered the building. You really hoped he wouldn't be standing in the doorway, just waiting for you to make the wrong move and enter the room. You decided to blame it on the alcohol paranoia for both of your sake. Even if he did catch you, you could think up some sort of excuse, right? Reaching your hand towards the doorknob, your question was about to be answered.

And... The doors let out a satisfying click. No Gideon in sight upon letting the doors part even more. Sighing with relief, you entered the room. Matthew looked around, familiar with the place. He switched on the lamp laying on Gideon's desk. It provided a dim light, perfect for staying inconspicuous. It shouldn't be as visible from under the doors.

Matthew's sight remained on you, searching for further instructions. He wanted to do everything and nothing at all, the intensity of the situation getting to him. He was nervous, but his mind begged to finally touch you. Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you approached closer, started the fun with a kiss, pressing your lips into him with a hurry in your movements. You had to be quick, after all.

Matthew's muffled moan at the sudden speed sounded beautiful, only fueling your need to have him. He got lightly pressed into a wall, your hand brushed over his chest, feeling it rise and fall rapidly. His hands grabbed your hips, eagerly wanting to feel more of you. No matter where. His touch felt electric, the alcohol only intensified the already steamy moment. Nothing mattered, not even the possibility of being caught, fully covered by the way Matthew's lips felt on yours. It was a thrilling experience, as selfish as it was.

The passionate kisses soon turned into a clumsy dance of tongues, the hesitant yet desperate touches replaced by the need to feel the skin hiding under the fabric of your clothes. The way Matthew squirmed with each brush of your fingers on his bare stomach was intoxicating, even more than the alcohol. It didn't take long for you to feel the noticeable tent poking your leg. Not taking a break from mixing saliva with him, your other hand palmed the neglected spot. He whined, finally feeling a bit of release. He was almost aching, and your hand was just the thing he needed.

Continuously assaulting the place, your lips moved lower, feeling bold enough to take your kisses onto his neck. He shivered, leaning onto the cold wall behind him. His legs felt wobbly and his entire body was on fire. You just knew how to rile him up with almost no effort. Of course, you made sure to not leave any hickeys, or else your story wouldn't be so believable. His nails started to lightly dig into your skin softly, not being able to contain himself when all he perceived was you teasing him. His pelvis moved on it's own, grinding onto your hand with embarrassing need.

Swiftly unbuckling his belt, you reached into his pants. He held back the volume of his sound as he felt you slowly jerk your hand. The stiffness and warmth felt illegal in your grasp, only adding to the fire rising in both of you. He rested his chin onto your shoulder, breathing out almost pornographical, quiet moans into your ear. Alcohol loosened him up to the point even most embarrassing noises travelled across the room. Him turning vocal was a turn on for sure, but you had to remind him of the situation at hand.

"Try to be quieter, love," you whispered, deliberately brushing your thumb over the head.

"Nff," he bit his lip. "Y- You're making it really difficult..."

He took a moment to calm down his panting, huffing out his plea, "...I- I need you so bad."

His words were raw, sincere. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you. Not being able to hold yourself any longer, you grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him onto the chair near the desk.

You got onto his lap, grinding your crotch against his still clothed dick. You just had to get some friction. Matthew grabbed your hips again, panting shallowly as your bodies did the work of granting you pleasure. The spinning chair rocked slightly under your weight, but the thought of it breaking didn't even cross your mind. Hopefully, it wouldn't.

"...H-Hold on, I'll take off my pants." You panted out, feeling your underwear already getting ruined. Well, you'd have to deal with it later. He frantically nodded his head. Getting off of him for a second, you quickly lowered your pants along with your underwear. In the meantime, Matthew made it easier for you by taking himself out of his boxers.

Granted a couple of seconds to take in his environment, he looked around. Was he really gonna do this? Have sex in Gideon's office, while at his party? He once sat in this exact chair, so maybe it wasn't that bad, despite everything? Yeah, no, it was totally out of place. And the worst thing is, he enjoyed this situation. Perhaps it was his ego, poking out from the depths of his drunken mind, as if doing that would show Gideon who's still the boss, or maybe it was the possibility of beight caught, exposed as a pathetic loser who can't keep it in his pants even for a minute. Of course, if only the latter wouldn't destroy his whole reputation. Admitting to himself he had a slight degradation kink sounded much easier while intoxicated.

Getting thrown off from his train of thought by feeling your weight back on him, he let out a soft gasp. All of his previous ruminating being drowned by your body pressing against him, lower half feeling the familiar sensation of your bare skin. Preparing yourself accordingly with a bit of spit, you waited for the moment where you'd finally connect.

With bated breath, Matthew's hands on your hips lowered along with your bottom half. Both of you let out the held back exhales, adjusting to the sudden warmth and pressure. You finally felt him inside. It was wrong, which only added to the intensity of the act. With his mouth parted, Matthew watched as your pelvis moved, slowly at first, gaining speed after some a few humps. It felt good, but it wasn't enough. The pleasure was constant, yet not quick enough for you to achieve your climax in a timely manner under the current circumstances. You cursed mentally, placing both of your hands on Matthew's shoulder for support.

"...We probably should have just gone home," you panted out, not fully regretting your decision, yet suddenly too aware of the potential risk.

"You think?" Matthew deadpanned, not able to stop staring at your moving body. He knew it as well, but wasn't willing to break whatever you two had started.

You chuckled weakly. "Not like I dare to stop now, though..." The situation was bizarre, yet somehow very connecting. Like doing a crime together. Which probably was true. You weren't really sure. At least you weren't doing it in a random stranger's bedroom, but it still spoke poorly of your morality. You'd have to make it up to Gideon somehow, even if preferably, he would never hear about it. It would leave a bad taste in your mouth if you didn't. Even more so considering the fact you used to have a crush on this guy.

"...I love you so much-" You rambled, feeling the need to voice your thoughts. In return, you heard a chuckle of his own, the flustered kind.

"I love you too," he responded with a tired smile on his face, closing his eyes as he tried to focus on the sensations, all too ready for the orgasm to hit him, yet still being so far in sight. "Your body, your everything- You're just, perfect-"

The praise coming from Matthew's mouth pushed you to envelop your lips on his once more, interlocked in a passionate kiss. At least this way both of your moans would be muffled.

Opening up your eyes to an alarming noise, your stare fell onto the door. With the way you were sitting, you had a clear vision, directly at it. And what you saw almost made you faint.

"Yoohoo~ Am I interrupting something?" With an expression that slowly morphed from disinterest to amusement, Gideon leaned against the door frame, arms crossed in an unimpressed display of dominance. He got you. You were officially fucked.

Caught like a mouse in a trap, you felt the lump forming in your throat, stopping you from making any sound. You lifted your hips, too embarrassed to keep sitting on Matthew. His head whipped back the second he heard the familiar voice, even if the chair was covering most of his view.

"GIDEON?!" He shouted, harshly digging his fingers into you out of shock. He could officially die now. He even went as far as to go back to the time they both fought for the league. He had troubles deciding what would be worse, if he would have lost that time, or the exact circumstances he found himself in right now. He should have seen it coming, and he knew that. Only thing he forgot to do was get prepared for this to happen.

Gideon only snickered in return, closing the doors behind him to not make a commotion out of the current conundrum.

"Fuck, Gideon, I-" Your compromised position, still resting on Matthew, only fueled your desire to vanish. "W-We're so sorry, we shouldn't-"

Seeing the smug smile on his face felt even worse than being outright yelled at. That meant he enjoyed seeing you struggle, and you knew it. But maybe if he wasn't mad, the outcome wouldn't be as punishing as you initially expected.

"I see you both really enjoy the party, huh?" He clicked degradingly with his tongue, getting closer to the chair you occupied. "I really didn't take you'd have that much audacity, yet here we are."

You didn't really know what to do. Should you get up? The way you sat made you somewhat covered, with your bodies bent in a way that would hide at least a bit of the shameful display away from Gideon, mostly thanks to the chair's back.

"We- I'm sorry, we will see ourselves out," you submissively admitted your defeat, not wanting to be put on the spot anymore. You lost. Preparing for the shameful scurry, you tried to get off the chair.

"Hey, hey, why the rush?" He leaned his hand on the top of it, looking you straight in the face as he narrowed his eyes with a grin that fully expressed the power he had over you right now. Matthew flinched. It felt like a life and death situation, even if you had a spark of hope Gideon would take mercy on you and not babble about it to the whole crew. You learned your lesson. "Didn't the fun just start?"

You were flabbergasted. Did you understand him right? Did he know how long you two were here? Did he see you both coming here and decided to just... not do anything?

"...What?" You said, anxious for the other man's response.

The confidence in his chuckle made you feel even smaller than before. "Oh, lovebirds, nothing goes unnoticed by me in here. I own this place."

"B-But how-" You meekly continued, too shocked to stop the words from spilling.

"Cameras, baby." His response was too quick and nonchalant for your liking.

"In here??" You almost shouted back, feeling Matthew tensing underneath you. He let you continue the convo, too stunned to voice his own thoughts.

"There's no need for shouting. Yes, in here." He emphasized the last words. "I keep all the corners of my facilities covered."

Physically, you felt really warm. Not only from the blood rushing to your cheeks, but your whole body felt painfully hot. Like riding a rollercoaster and plummeting down. The time felt like it stopped, dreadfully extending each second. Getting caught by Gideon with no evidence of it happening was bad enough, but having it recorded was crossing the line. You knew Gideon, and it was obvious to you how serious this situation could be. He was an asshole. Getting blackmailed with a sextape was not something you fancied on a stupid Friday night. However, you were strongly prepared for this reality to become true with the next sentence that would fall out of his mouth.

"Y- You can't!" Matthew suddenly spoke up, not as worried for himself as he was for you. He could not let this happen. "Don't you dare show it to anyone! I'm serious!" He threatened, fully aware how little his words would affect Gideon's already established plan.

"Woah, buddy, calm down." He looked down, towering above the sitting Matthew. "I'm not here to blackmail you or anything. Don't worry, I'll make sure no one will be able to see your moment of weakness."

"Y- You're not?" You said with hesitance, not fully trusting Gideon was telling the truth.

"Even though you massively disrespected me with your little mishap here, I'm willing to forgive and forget. Let bygones be bygones, you know? I'm not such a bad guy, after all." He spoke effortlessly, staring at your slowly changing expression as he explained.

"So- You're just gonna let us go and delete the recording, like that?" You dared to ask.

"Just so we're clear. I didn't do anything for this to happen. That's all on you. Clearly, I'm the victim in this situation. So, I think a favor would be fine for me to ask in return, don't you think?" He smirked, knowing how much of your attention clung to the words he was saying.

"What favor?" Matthew asked, staring at Gideon warily from his compromised position. His imagination ran wild with all the things Gideon could force you to do, and it wasn't pretty. Even though all of the exes, specifically Matthew and Gideon, were now friends, he knew how far Gideon could go to humiliate someone that went against him.

"Oh, I don't know, some favor I'll think of in the near future. Whenever I'll need something from either of you." He stopped for dramatics, seeing how the cogs in your brain turned. "Or, we could all do something about it today and move on with our lives. Your choice, really." He shrugged, leaving you the time to process what he just said.

"What? What do you mean, do something today?" You asked, almost too afraid to speculate.

The light reflected in Gideon's glasses, accentuating his growing, cocky grin. "Let me join the fun."

The moment Gideon finally disclosed what was on his mind would probably stay with you until your death. Both you and Matthew had to process what was being said to you. Did Gideon just offer to have a damn threesome?

"Tick-tock, sweethearts, I still plan to get back to the party." He obnoxiously looked at the nonexistent watch on his wrist.

Matthew's lips felt dry, but he was finally able to utter something back, escaping the incapacitating shock that held him previously.

"I won't do anything Y/N isn't okay with!" He furrowed his brows and rushed with his response, expectantly looking at you after. Not being comfortable with the sudden spotlight thrown at you, you spoke just as quickly.

"I-" The words stuck in your throat, the situation turning into a different shade of stressful.

It'd be a lie if you said you didn't imagine fucking your former boss, as much as that thought embarrassed you while working for him. He was chasing Ramona, not you. Having a crush on a person who wasn't interested was pathetic enough, so you just muted this part of you. Not like you believed Gideon could sincerely reciprocate the affection, there would be an obvious power imbalance. Then things changed, you got to know Matthew, he made you feel all bubbly inside, and there was no shame that came with that. You stopped working for him as soon as you both started dating. Gideon fell from his first place as your love interest, and now, he was offering you the thing you'd accept in a heartbeat not that long ago? The fate played tricks on you. The trick being, you were inclined to accept. It would probably be the first and last time you ever got to fulfill this wish of yours, as bad as the current circumstances were. Perhaps it was due to the alcohol, or maybe the relief knowing you weren't completely screwed that made you more susceptible to his suggestion. The only thing that worried you was how Matthew would react. Would he take it as breaking his trust? You still loved him, more than your silly fantasy of fucking Gideon, and you had to make sure you were on the same page

"W-Well, how about you?" You looked at him, avoiding the obvious elephant in the room regarding this question. "Would you be fine with this?"

His mouth remained opened for a brief while before he put his vocal chords to use. "I- If you are, then... I guess I would be inclined to do it... too." He said, or moreso asked, not totally sure of the words spilling out of him. His sight nervously jumped around, not focusing on anything else in particular. He wanted it too, yet shared a similar worry.

"Are you sure? Like, honestly sure?" Your gaze remained on Matthew, searching for any sign of being pushed. He was your biggest fan and would even punch the 3rd hole in the moon if only you asked for it, so you knew how much power your opinion in the situation mattered. However, you did not want him to feel forced with the decision, only because you wanted to experiment.

He swallowed a hefty dose of saliva before replying. "Yes, I'm sure. It'd be just a favor, like Gideon said, right...?"

"No strings attached. I wouldn't want to cause problems in your lovely relationship. Think of it as a... bonding experience. For all of us." Gideon coaxed, a sly grin remained on his face. He knew he would get what he wants.

You coughed awkwardly, trying to clear your throat. "Well- I- I guess, then... we... accept...? I-If we can stop at any time." It was hard to formulate words when the emotions raced like wild horses. Was it excitement, anticipation, fear, both?

"Oh, of course, that goes without saying," he purred, lightly leaning with both hands on the chair you both sat on.

"Well, now that it's established... Get the hell off my chair." His tone changed into a harsh annoyance, forcing you both to finally stand up. "I will hold you accountable if you break it."

Both of you uttered a quiet and hurried sorry, standing out like sore thumbs, halfly naked. Neither of you knew what to do, pushing Gideon to do something about it. He considered your lack of direction pathetic, but cute with how easy it would be to mold you. He thrived on telling people what to do. Coming closer to his desk, he looked at the papers laying on it's available surface before throwing them off of it with a quick swipe of his hand. Guess they weren't that important.

He patted the now unobstructed space on the desk. "Y/N, if you would."

Halfly unsure, you trusted your reasoning that he wanted you to sit on it. It was a correct assumption. Gideon went behind it, facing your back. Matthew watched, trying to decode what he had in mind. Suddenly, Gideon grabbed your shoulders, swiftly pulling you to lay on your back. Seeing the ceiling made you flinch, until Gideon made an effort to explain what's happening.

"You, pretty thing, don't have to do anything. Just stay still." He looked at you from above, enjoying to the fullest the way you reacted to his pet-name. "Your boyfriend will take care of you, won't he?" He looked at Matthew, who felt more than clueless.

He was just in the middle of fucking you, but felt too embarrassed to continue doing it while Gideon was watching. He knew he would get carried away with his sounds if he did so, and it was too early into your newly formed situationship for him to be comfortable enough to do so.

"...C- Can I at least sit on the chair?" He asked meekly, already settled on what he was about to do.

Gideon raised his brow, thinking about it for a moment before he allowed it with a brief nod of his head. "Go ahead."

Spreading your legs, Matthew scooted closer, now sitting comfortably on the cursed chair that would surely fall apart any minute, if only Gideon hadn't stopped you in time. At least that's what his thought process was with how fearful Gideon's words made him about it.

"...What are you- Oh-" You were about to ask, until you felt Matthew's tongue brush against your groin. Feeling the kitten licks starting to build up something in your abdomen made your face contort into expressions you were too embarrassed to think about in Gideon's presence. You had to hold yourself back from squirming. Gideon, on the other hand, was clearly pleased with the action happening before his eyes. Hearing the faint sounds of a belt being messed with, it didn't take you long to notice his almost fully standing erection pressing against your cheek. It seemed pretty big, at least from the upside down angle. Did he get excited in such a short span of time or did you just not notice it before?

"I don't think I have to tell you what to do?" Gideon looked at you expectantly, adjusting himself so he'd have an easy access to your mouth. Hesitantly, you parted your lips. He shoved himself into you, slowly at first. He thrusted his hips, exhaling contently as your mouth covered half of dick. Saliva pooled at the corner of your lips, it was hard to focus on correct breathing while Matthew busied himself between your legs. Fortunately, Gideon was kind enough to notice that, not pushing you too much in the moment where you were still acquainting yourself with the situation.

Matthew occupied his whole attention with making sure he was pleasing you right, even if Gideon using you at the same time was making him emotions he didn't think he had in himself. He didn't even touch himself, as if waiting for someone's (this someone being Gideon) permission to do it. He wanted to be good. Hearing your soft, muffled moans sent jolts of electricity right to his dick, which was just begging to be touched - a big contrast to how not too long ago it threatened to get flaccid.

Feeling the licks of Matthew's tongue on your sensitive nerves while having your mouth used felt almost overstimulating. You let out weak whimpers, not able to control the sounds escaping you. Gideon, seeing how much you've grown accustomed to the manhandling, let himself increase the pace, shoving his cock an inch deeper with each roll of his hips. You closed your eyes, fully letting both boys work their way towards your orgasm. As much as it was degrading, you liked how Gideon took charge. You didn't really have that experience with Matthew, as your sex was usually pretty vanilla and passionate, mostly from his side.

Not stopping his movements, Gideon kept his composure while speaking up.

"Enjoying yourself?" He looked at your face, seeing how you opened your eyes once he started talking, "I knew this was what you wanted."

Of course, with mouth full of dick, you weren't really in a position to respond, nor wanted to give him the satisfaction of your honest opinion.

"Even when you were working for me. You probably wished this happened sooner, huh? On this desk." He pushed himself deeper. "I've seen you staring at me with those eyes." He mused, moreso to himself.

Matthew raised his head a bit, hearing Gideon's rambling was pushing it a bit, given both you and him were now in a relationship. Gideon noticed this little change of scenery, and was quick to add,

"Don't worry, Matthew. Y/N isn't the only one I had my eyes on." He shot him a knowing glance, the sentence rolling off his tongue effortlessly. He had no trace of embarrassment on his face, fully knowing the outcome of his confession.

Unsure what to do with this unexpected information, Matthew opted for burying his head between your thighs once more, blush coating his cheeks. He wanted to argue, to say Gideon's flattery wouldn't work on him, but unfortunately, it did. Even though he felt jealous, he let it slide. Gideon noticed that, feeling his grin grow wider. He had both of you right where he wanted, and it only added to his ego.

You didn't have time to ponder his words, nearing closer to the finish. The wet sounds, the speed at which Gideon and Matthew were going, it was all just too much. Matthew insisted on licking that one, particular spot that quickly rose the tension in your muscles. Your legs began to shake, your whole body squirmed on that wooden desk. Gideon saw the opportunity to hear your moan, unobstructed, quickly pulling himself out of your lips. You'd be embarrassed at the sound that just left out of you if it didn't feel so damn good in the moment.

Matthew wiped his mouth, now covered in your essence. He was embarrassed at how hard he was, especially with Gideon there to witness it. The only hearable sound was your labored breathing, slowly coming off the high that hit you so strongly just a second ago. Staring at the ceiling, Gideon made it hard for you to avoid his grin.

"Now didn't that feel good, sweetie?" The way he was looking at you made you feel ashamed, but the words coming specifically from him also added something else. A thrill? It still felt wrong, but somehow, you enjoyed this. It was a break from the norm, which was probably why the whole experience felt so ecstatic.

"Mattie, give back Y/N the chair. They're probably exhausted." You weren't sure if Gideon's care for you was sincere, but he was right. You were exhausted.

Matthew got up with some hesitation, the spotlight now embarrassingly thrown at his still aching erection. You had some troubles when your foot touched the ground, getting to your seat with wobbly legs. It was probably one of the best orgasms you had in a while.

"Sit down." He patted the same place you were in not too long ago, signaling for Matthew to switch places with you.

He meekly obeyed, sitting on the desk. He didn't know what plans Gideon had prepared for him, but at this point, he was willing to do anything to get off. With tensed shoulders, his sight dug a hole in Gideon's face, only showing the everpresent satisfaction of the effects he had on both of you. With a swift motion of his hand, he reached for Matthew's dick, starting with rapid jerks. Matthew's response was an alarmed gasp. Seeing Gideon go easy on you made him drop his guard, which had him totally unprepared for his turn to be so intense. His fingers grabbed the corners of the desk, curling.

"...N-Not so fast!" He managed to squeak through gritted teeth, his bangs briefly falling on half of his face. Surprisingly, Gideon listened, slowing down to a sensual up and down movement. He got to hear the sweet sound of Matthew's surprise, free to continue with his pace now. He mostly focused on brushing his thumb against Matthew's tip, feeling the gross precum coating his skin. That did the trick, getting Matthew's moans to shine through. He tried to stop them, to no success. Gideon got closer in between his legs, and Matthew couldn't help but briefly close them around his waist, squirming with each stroke of his palm.

Getting jerked off while in your presence, by another person, letting the slutty, embarrassing noises were enough for Matthew to feel guilty, even if all of you agreed to this sudden fun. He knew that his decision to proceed with the events was not random. Gideon was someone he used to admire, right until he lost the fight for everything that he owned. In that moment, he knew he was above him. He proved it by winning the fight, fair and square. Yet still, there was something lingering in the back of his mind. A foolish desire to feel the same adrenaline he felt while throwing punches at him. Only now he fully realized it wasn't completely about the fighting.

You thought seeing Gideon take care of Matthew would wound your pride much more, to see your boyfriend intertwined with another man, but it was more so fear of missing out. You already exhausted your body enough, though. Even if there was still some jealousy involved, it was certainly less than what you originally expected. It all got clouded by how cute Matthew looked in the current moment. It was easy to see how he fell apart with Gideon's touches. He just had a way of getting into people's heads, even without the use of his Glow. Besides, seeing two boys you considered attractive, entangled in the fun you also experienced not too long ago? It was hot. Seeing Matthew come apart, was hot. Perhaps it was the alcohol speaking, but you weren't against it happening again, sometime.

Although Matthew was in no position to complain, being given gratification with each jerk of Gideon's wrist, he couldn't help but notice Gideon's fully visible erection as well. He wondered, why didn't he do anything about it? How much did he plan to prolong the fun? His speed, even though slow, per his request, was painfully taunting. He knew Gideon had something else in mind, which is why he dared to ask,

"Wh... Why aren't you..." His eyes fell upon Gideon's crotch, leaving no room to debate what his question was about.

"Aw, worried about me getting off Mattie? How considerate of you." He chuckled, his ego growing. As if on command, he raised his unoccupied arm, aligning their members together. Matthew gasped at the sudden warmth pressing against him, feeling way too intimate with the position.

"W-what are y- ah!" He squeaked, feeling the way Gideon wrapped his hand around both of their dicks, increasing the speed to his liking.

"Didn't want to overstimulate you too soon," he huffed out, "but I see you're eager."

Matthew's legs clasped around Gideon even tighter, not being able to keep himself from spilling all the shameful moans. He closed his eyes, not wanting to think how pathetic he must have looked to you. Gideon added another wave of sensations by grinding his hips, helping himself get off faster. He was into rough play, opposite to Matthew, who was slowly losing control with how fast it all unravelled.

"G-Gideon, y-you're going too fast-" he whined, yet wouldn't dare do anything to stop the man's actions. Hearing the sweet sound of his name rolling off Matthew's tongue only fueled his desire to pick up the pace.

"Don't lie," he inched closer towards Matthew's ear, whispering his next sentence, "you're enjoying this just as much as I am."

"Fffuck-" He cursed, feeling the brush of Gideon's tongue on his neck. He could only hope he wouldn't be so bold as to leave hickeys on his skin. That would be crossing the line.

Seeing and hearing the two boys in the middle of their fun made you feel wet again. Were you being a voyeur? Probably, even if all of you were entangled in this. Nonetheless, your hand lowered down to your groin once more, not being able to hold yourself back from the shameful urge. Thankfully, the boys were too occupied with themselves to notice.

The desk began to move rhythmically, shaking just like Matthew's legs. He was on the brink of exploding, as did Gideon. Eyeliner began to spill down Matthew's cheek, the act too intense for the tears to be held back. He let out a choked gasp right before a string of white flew into the air, dirtying Gideon's still moving hand in the process. He wasn't done yet, ignoring the mess and nearing even closer, faintly leaning against Matthew's chest. He grabbed Gideon's arms, digging his fingers into the white sleeves.

"Gideon-!" He whimpered, the pressure on his still sensitive dick drove him crazy. Gideon ignored his plea, too focused on chasing his own climax.

Hopefully, with Matthew's mind occupied, he wouldn't notice you nearing your own orgasm on par with Gideon. With both of their labored breathing, you felt it just around the corner, which added another form of stimulation. You'd come at the same time with Gideon. The thought pushed you to quicken the movements of your hand, all too eager for it to hit you. Hearing a content groan coming from Gideon's mouth, he slowed down his movements, his dick sliding up and down, until it finally rested still in his hand. He leaned his chin on Matthew's shoulder, panting like a dog into his ear, and Matthew was no different.

Given a moment to gather his thoughts, Matthew heard your stifled moan, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. Oh. You were having your fun too. He felt coy realizing what drove your actions.

Gideon soon retracted away from Matthew, feeling the sweat cling uncomfortably to his fancy clothes. He couldn't wait to take a shower, and so did both of you. Unfortunately, there was none available at the moment. The other guests would just have to excuse your messy states. At least Gideon was kind enough to provide you some tissues. All of you silently agreed the fun time was over, making yourself decent before exiting the room. He locked it this time.

"I suppose this concludes your part of the deal." He spoke nonchalantly while briefly fixing his clothes. He also took out a comb out of his pocket to make his hair look less messy, yet didn't bother to share it - brushing his hair after you used it would be crossing the line.

"How about your part of the deal?" You looked at Gideon, Matthew joining your stare. You had to make sure he would upkeep his promise of deleting the video.

"Don't worry, I remember our arrangement." He lazily took out his phone, the app showing a name of the camera in his office. Thankfully you didn't have to cringe at your compromised position on a little image preview, as there was no visible thumbnail.

"Unless you want me to send you the video first?" He teased, although it wasn't clear whether his words were just to bait your reaction.

Both you and Matthew spoke hurriedly in unison "NO."

"That- won't be necessary." The awkward grin forced itself on your face. He only snickered, pressing the delete button. You watched as a little popup appeared, text "video deleted" fully on display. That calmed down your nerves substantially.

"Well then, if that's all, you may be excused. Feel free to enjoy the rest of the party." He turned on his heel, intending to go back to the bar, but not before inserting a quick quip. "I'd recommend asking someone for a comb though, your hair looks really messy."

You chose to use your well trained patience and not respond anything back, too tired to start anything. Matthew just sighed heavily in annoyance, following your steps of keeping quiet.

Abruptly facing you one last time before heading off, Gideon spoke again. "Oh, and if you ever feel like trying to fuck in my office again, try asking me first, hm?" He half-closed his eyes, looking at you for a moment with a sickeningly sweet expression. Then, he left you no room to respond, already trailing back to the party.

Your stare met at the same time with Matthew's, mostly just appalled. You actually didn't have a clue if it was a warning, or his way of inviting you to another session of...

"What the hell was that?" Matthew finally spoke with both amusement and shock in his voice.

"I- I don't know?" You reciprocated the intense emotions in your tone. "But... It- it wasn't that bad...? I mean, I was terrified at first, but- I'm not traumatised?" The confused laugh fell out of you, probably the adrenaline.

"Well- yeah... I mean- at least Gideon is an attractive guy-" He hesitantly spilled out his thoughts, an embarrassed grin present on his face.

"Oh, so you think that too?"

"Wh- O- Of course I do! I mean- I wouldn't consider it otherwise!" His cheeks instantly turned redder.

The sound of your soft chuckle managed to calm him down. "Well- I'm glad we both got to experience it."

[moriartyluver]

FALSE LOVERS CHAPTER VI

"I NEED YOUR HELP" (name) whispered to herself in her carriage as she rode to the Moriarty manor.

After taking Josephine in officially as her personal maid, (name) had realised that apart from Josephine, she didn't exactly have any subordinates on her side. She had been training the girl in combat aswell as lessons in literacy. Josephine was a fast learner, she reminded (name) of her younger self in that respect, although not as much of a prodigy as she was, the young girl seemed really skilled in reading and writing, it wouldn't be long before she would also learn how to shoot a gun at a target.

"Miss- I mean, Lady (Last name), forgive me for my impertinence but uhh," Josephine called out to the lady "Who are you talking to- wait no..why are you whispering to yourself?"

(Name) suddenly acknowledged Josephine's presence and gave her an awkward smile as she muttered "I find it difficult to ask for help.." she slouched against her seat whilst her maid only smiled.

"Nobody finds asking for help easy, Lady (Last name). Especially if you're as independent as you are because you're so used to being able to do everything." It was as if this 14 year old had aged 60 years.

The noble lady opposite her smiled "Thank you Josephine. I'm glad some people on the world still have some sense in them."

The sun rays pierced through the windows in the carriage. They were finally there. The only issue for (name) now was to do the u thinkable and ask for help for the first time in her life and to William James Moriarty of all people

"Lady (Last Name)?" Louis called out to the woman as he opened the door slowly to reveal the woman in question and a young girl beside her. "What are you here for?"

(Nam) smiled politely and bowed her head "I have business with Lord William."

Louis widened his eyes in surprise. William hadn't mentioned anything of the sort to him and he would almost always tell his little brother when he had any interaction with (name) (last name).

Louis nodded "I'm afraid my brother may be quite busy at the moment, you may come again another d-"

"Lady (name)! What brings you here, my friend?" A voice belonging to none other than the Lord of crime himself interrupted as he approached the entrance of the manor with a smile. "Please do come in."

(Name) and a timid Josephine entered the building where Louis took both their coats. William guided the pair to his office, curious as to why the woman who hated him so much was here with a young girl who he deduced had been in an awful situation.

"Care to tell me why you're here?" William asked as he pulled a chair out for (name) who sat opposite his desk whilst Josephine sat beside her. "And why you brought...?"

The blond sat down at his own seat, his hand linked together under his chin whilst he rested his elbows on the wooden desk. The brunette took a moment to understand his prompt then said "J-Josephine Evans, sir- I mean, your lordship."

William only smiled at the girl with a look of amusement then turned to (name). "Well? It's not like you to be so quiet. By now you would have insulted me in at least three different languages." He gave a teasing smirk as he leaned closer to the lady who only had a scowl gracing her features.

"I can do that now, you son of a b-" (name) began but was interrupted by William placing his pale finger against her lips

"Now, now, my darling (name), you're a well educated woman. You can express your annoyance for me in other ways," The blond man smiled as he inched closer to her. "So, please, tell me how I am to be of assistance to you? You know I would do anything in my power to please you."

(Name)'s expression shifted to one of a cunning woman "Even if it meant killing a man?" She said as she glanced over to a surprised Josephine.

William noticed this but acted natural nonetheless "I would kill countless people for your sake, my lady. All you have to do is say the word and I am yours to use."

The young brunette glanced between the two as if they were psychopaths. "Kill a man? But Lady (Last name)! You gave me the impression that you'd only bring Lord Ashfordshire to justice. I thought you meant handing him over to the police...?"

(Name) chuckled as William spoke up. "Ah..so this is about Lord Edward Ashfordshire, is it? My men and I have had an eye on him for a while, ever since the recent disappearance of some of his staff members."

"Yes, well he's mine to kill, Moriarty." (Name) glared then looked over to Josephine "there have been multiple reports done to the police already but they believe the story of human taxidermy to be too far fetched."

William gave a faux sad expression "Oh but I thought I was yours to kill, (name)." He said in disappointment whilst (name) scoffed.

"But it's true though! Why would they do that?! The police are meant to protect us!" Josephine exclaimed. She was young, nobody could blame her for being so naive.

"Correction, they're here to enable the nobility to carry out evil deeds." William's expression became more serious. He turned to (name) "How far have you investigated so far?"

"I've had a freelancer scout the area and I'm yet to receive the floor plan for his estate." (Name) leaned her head back against the seat and sighed "Seriously, why is he so well protected, he's almost a fallen noble at this rate."

"Well you were right about the police perceiving the stories to be some strange set of jokes. Human taxidermy sounds like something out of a gothic horror novel, not from the prosperous heart of the British empire." Red eyes were glued to the lady in front of him. "Have you collected any evidence yet?"

"Josephine should be all the evidence I need but I'll need to hire a man to break in and make a few sketches of his operating basement." A (skin colour) hand was raised up to her chin, stroking it in thought then dropped down to her lap. "The reason I came here was to ask you for he-...I need..I need your help.." she managed to squeak out. William's eyes widened for a moment then narrowed into crescents as the corners of his lips turned upwards

"Would you care to repeat yourself, my lady? I don't think I understood you very well. Speak up." William smirked as (name) glared at him then coughed.

"I need your help." She said, this time a little louder

William held back a laugh "My..that's a new phrase. Have you learnt it recently?" He teased

"Shut it, Moriarty,"  the noble lady felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment "you know I have no subordinates to help me with this. I've had to resort to working with various men on the black market but even then, I don't have anyone to he..help me. You on the other hand have countless men on your side. Hell, you run the biggest criminal network known to man.”

Grey eyes widened. She was in the presence of a Crime Lord? And the strange woman who took her in was a murderer? Why would they even try going after Ashfordshire if they too did evil unto others?

“It appears your little friend is surprised by this new information, (name).” William smiled and titled his head slightly. “Care to explain to her who we really are?”

(Name) sighed. “There’s no we, Moriarty.” She sighed then turned to Josephine “William here is a crime consultant. He gives advice on how to commit crimes, except with a catch.”

“Do I need to make a payment in exchange for this advice..?” The fourteen year old asked nervously. (Name) chuckled and shook her head.

“Every man William kills is only killed for the sake of bettering the world we live in, at least that’s how he puts it,” (name) looked back at the man with a fake smile “I’ve requested his assistance to help us kill Lord Edward Ashfordshire. The police won’t do anything and who knows how far the nobility will go to cover up such disgusting acts. That’s why they’ve left us with no other choice but to kill him and expose his deeds publicly..although it may be a little complicated.”

The air in the atmosphere switched to become more sinister than before. She spoke of this so casually, as if she had known of it for years. Josephine felt guilty. She knew that she wanted to feel scared and run away but instead, she felt herself being enveloped in a strange feeling. That feeling was her desire for justice.

“Have you done this before?” Josephine asked curiously

(Name)’s expression grew dark. “Both Lord William and I have had to make some sacrifices along the way. Moriarty here has been in the killing business a lot longer than I but we’ve taken lives all the same.”

Minutes of silence past as William and (name) whisperers about a few things in regard to what Josephine assumed to be the plan to kill Lord Ashfordshire.

William eventually stood up from his seat and placed his hand to his chest. “Then I, William James Moriarty, crime consultant, shall help you carry out this request.”

The following weeks included several visits to the Moriarty manor or in the opposite direction to Marquis (last name)’s London estate. William had had a few subordinates scout the area and find the exact location to the basement and the easiest point of entry which was, rather foolishly, a little trapdoor on the outside of the mansion which lead to the door outside the locked basement. Thankfully, Ashfordshire was falling as a nobleman and soon to face bankruptcy and so all (name) and William needed to do was to manipulate the man into inviting either one of them to his manor.

“Ashfordshire shows a strange distaste to two types of people,” William told (name) as they sat together in his office, planning away late at night. (Name) now had frequently found herself sneaking into the Moriarty manor late at night to be greeted by William who was currently in a dark red robe ,on the verge of sleep.

(Name) raised and eyebrow as she leaned forward in her chair, careful to not hit the candles they had lit. “Which is?”

William held up two slim fingers. “One, men. No matter their age. Not because he hates them but because he shows no interest in dissecting men for his taxidermy projects.” A finger went down “And two, women who are over the age of their most youthful years. From what I’ve heard, this means women over the age of 24 or 25. I assume this is because he doesn’t like women who aren’t as easy to manipulate”

“That or he has a preference to girls who show close resemblance to children,” (name) said with a tone of disgust laced in her voice. “So I assume what you’re trying to say is that I try to kindle a friendship between Ashfordshire and I?”

William’s usually unreadable expression melted into one of abhorrence. “You need not interact with that foul man if you do not wish to do so. I can always arrange for a plan b.”

“No.” Said (Name) firmly. “I’m perfectly capable to take him on by myself. I may not even need the backup that I’ve requested.”

“Still, if he dares to hurt you I won’t hesitate to kill him on the spot,” his red eyes narrowed as a devilish glint appeared in them. “No. Even if he touches you, you must let me know.”

“I did tell you, didn’t I, William?” The noble lady’s calm voice whispered “I can take care of myself. Do not trouble yourself with my affairs.” She said as she placed her hand on his shoulder which reassured the blond she would be fine. After all, her father personally gave her sword fighting and fencing lessons since she could walk and her mother would give her lessons on war strategy. Nobody was more capable than her.

William took her hand in his own which caused her (eye colour) eyes to widen. “I trust your judgement, my lady.” He said before kissing the back of her palm.

A/N: not liam getting bold. Also Ashfordshire be like leonardo de caprisun. Anyways possessive and flirty William>> this was like 2k words ish long so I’m sorry if it took a while to read. Tbh it was mostly waffle but take the last bit as fan service 🙏

[crownedtargaryen]

tldr: MIRI HAS MY HEART SO CONFUSED BUT I LOVE THIS SO MUCH 😭😭🤍

Bran couldn't care less. He just wanted to learn archery and not much more.

WELL THATS TOO DAMN BAD BRAN IM GONNA RIZZ UR ASS UP.

hell even Arya were dressed up.

damn we’re IMPORTANT. 🤭

“Hi! My name is,” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he walked away. “Y/N.” You were confused as to why he suddenly walked away. You were only trying to be nice.

you better cherish ur ability to walk you little meanie /j (i love him so much 🥹)

“Don’t pay him any attention Y/N, my name is Sansa! Come, you can sit next to me at dinner.” She joined your guy’s arms and walked with you to where you would be staying at.

MY WIFE I LOVE HER SOBS

“Thank you Duncas,” Ned cleared his throat before he said the words that ruined it all for Bran.

DUNCAS IS SUCH A FUNNY NAME IDK WHY

Bran felt like he was going to puke. He didn’t want to marry anyone and why them?! They weren’t special or anything, so he sulked and pouted the entirety of the dinner.

I AM WONDERFUL PLEASE BRAN 🥹🥹 HHH I SWEAR

Bran wasn’t that bad looking. Wink wink

me and him kiss fr he’s so 🤭🤭🤭🤍🤍 heart flutters

It seemed like Sansa was more excited than your future husband.

she’s so cute stop it rn.

He was a CUNT. Always ignoring you, making snide remarks about your looks or manners. “No Y/N, I don’t know how you do it down south but we don’t do that here in the North.” He would always make you feel insecure, like you didn’t belong there.

eats him alive U BRAT GRAAAH LET ME LIVE BRAN. GO FALL OFF A TOWER OR SUM ALREADY

Bran wasn’t the best with women and he didn’t despise you contrary what you might believe. He just didn’t really express him self that good. Alright, he was just shit at communicating and thought it would be better to just make you stay away. :)

I RETRACT MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT I LOVE YOU BRAN IM SORRYYYY 🥹🥹🤍🤍

The Queen and her son Tommen would come to visit Winterfell. You were very excited because you never met them before and heard great stories about the future king.

screams cries throws up YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE TOMMEN, MIRI. 😭😭😭

Bran scoffed a bit and replied snarkier than he intended “Pff well I am good with bow and arrow as well you know?”

YES YOU ARE BABY YES YOU ARE. UR SO GOOD AT ARCHERY. I LOVE U. 🥹❕❕

Could it be possible that he didn’t want to lose you?

“Hello Bran, very nice to see you again. But who is this beautiful person next to you? Excuse me, but I never had the pleasure to mee you I think.” Tommen extended his hand which you gladly accepted, and he planted a gentle kiss on top of your hand.

I. LOVE. TOMMEN. HEART DANCING GIGGLING SO HARD.

You were placed directly between them, how awkward.

HOW DOES IT FEEL. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM.

Oh my god she acknowledged you.

Y/N rn

Next to speak was Tommen. “Reading and horseback riding? So many talents in one person, I imagine that the Gods decided to not divide it evenly and that someone missed out.” He said while clearly looking at Bran with the last statement.

MIRI YOU ARE KILLING ME. IM SO EEEEE

You replied back sweetly, but speaking to Bran caused you to turn your back to Tommen which he didn’t really appreciate so he spoke again.

the tension oh my god i love this

Bran grew anxious, if you said no he would be fucked and lose the person he loved.The queen would probably suggest you coming along with her and then marry the prince. Wait hold on did he just think that he loves you? Nono that must be a mistake right? I don’t love Y/N, or do I?

HE LOOOOVES ME OMG IM SMILING SO HARD ARGH

“That’s good to hear. Tommen my dear, is everything okay? You look a bit pale.” All of your eyes went over to Tommen who indeed looked paler than normal, probably hoping you weren’t happy. You knew how Tommen must feel and pitied him a bit

TOMMEN… ITS OKAY WE CAN THRUPLE I SWEAR 🥹🥹❕❕😭😭

Not sure your opinions on Bran Stark, but maybe him falling in love with the reader while they’re assorted into an arranged marriage? He grows jealous and decides he needs to keep you in Winterfell with him, so he does everything he can to make you his despite your oath of marriage to maybe a Lannister?

Or just any Bran Stark x Reader content, I love that man so much 🤭🤭

Yesss darling!! Baby I think I made it GN but if you catched a gender thingy let me know!

Summary: Bran didn’t like Y/N at first, so when their parents announced they were to be betrothed he refused. That hurts. But then Tommen came and he disliked that even more. He would show you that he is better than that bastard.

A/N: I do not follow the original storyline cause yeah no. We don’t do that here on this blog. Also fuck their winters and shit. In this story it’s just all 4 seasons in 1 year. And your house is Greenfield a (non-existing) house which is south of Winterfell and often associated with the Vale and shit.

It’s sort of very long headcanons :)

Tag list: @crownedtargaryen

Let me know if you want to be added babes

It was the summer of Bran’s thirteenth birthday, when they got the news. The Greenfield’s were coming to visit and they were bringing their child Y/N Greenfield. They were often talked about, how they would grow up to become one of the prettiest people alive. Bran couldn't care less. He just wanted to learn archery and not much more.

When the Greenfields arrived his whole family was running around making sure that everything looks perfect. "Robb, can we train this afternoon?" "Bran, we do not have the time for training, we need to prepare. Do something useful and go help father or something.” Stupid Greenfields, now they’ve ruined his weekly training session with Robb, what else are they going to ruin? On his way to his father he ran into his mother Catelyn. “Bran! What are you still doing in these clothes?! Go and put on sometching more formal! Don’t just stand here, GO!” His mother looked very nervous and it almost seemed like this visit would determine their fate as a house.

Deciding not to push the buttons of his mother even more he complied, and asked a servant to bring him some formal clothes. (You didn’t think he would do that himself now did you??). Once it was on his bed he begrudgingly put it on, already feeling as if he doesn’t really like the Greenfields one bit.

He begrudgingly went downstairs to meet with his parents. His parents, Robb, Sansa, Rickon,his adopted brother Jon and hell even Arya were dressed up. They all wore their best clothes for the visit

They all waited for the carriage to enter the gates of Winterfell and they didn’t have to wait long. A few minutes after everything gathered a carriage came into view. It was decorated with beautiful green ornaments and golden leaves on the sides.

Your father, mother and your 2 older brothers left the carriage before you and as last but definitely not least you.

“My lord stark, may I present to you. My eldest : Tobas, my second eldest: Darron. And my youngest : Y/N.” Your father spoke

“It’s a pleasure to meet you guys, really! Come on in! Let the kids get to know each other, they’ll be spending lots of time together in the future so…..” Ned spoke the last part quietly not wanting to reveal anything yet.

You stood there swaying on your feet until you spotted Bran, he looked around your age so you approached him, wanting to seem nice.

“Hi! My name is,” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he walked away. “Y/N.” You were confused as to why he suddenly walked away. You were only trying to be nice.

“Don’t pay him any attention Y/N, my name is Sansa! Come, you can sit next to me at dinner.” She joined your guy’s arms and walked with you to where you would be staying at.

Ned and your father had made plans to unite your houses when you were born. Tobas and Darron were too old to be wedded to either Sansa or god forbid Arya. But you, you were the perfect age and being born only a few months after Bran? It was a miracle.

At the dinner the announcement was made and my god was it an experience

“Ned, thank you so much for hosting this amazing dinner for us. We couldn’t be more honoured and I believe that as a host you should be the one to announce it.”

“Thank you Duncas,” Ned cleared his throat before he said the words that ruined it all for Bran. “The Starks and Greenfields will be united through a marriage. Bran and Y/N are destined to be wedded as soon as Y/N turns eighteen. Until then they will spend much time together. Let’s all celebrate this alliance!”

Bran felt like he was going to puke. He didn’t want to marry anyone and why them?! They weren’t special or anything, so he sulked and pouted the entirety of the dinner.

You on the other hand already had a feeling when your father announced that you would be visiting Winterfell. You knew that it would be good for your family and Winterfell would be an important ally. Besides Bran wasn’t that bad looking. Wink wink

“Do you hear this Y/N?! We’ll be sisters!” It seemed like Sansa was more excited than your future husband. This was off to a great start.

Over the span of the following 5 years, Bran would be 18 and you would turn 18 later that year, you were forced to spend a lot of time together. Sansa had already accepted you as her sister and you really liked her. Bran on the other hand…..

He was a CUNT. Always ignoring you, making snide remarks about your looks or manners. “No Y/N, I don’t know how you do it down south but we don’t do that here in the North.” He would always make you feel insecure, like you didn’t belong there.

Bran wasn’t the best with women and he didn’t despise you contrary what you might believe. He just didn’t really express him self that good. Alright, he was just shit at communicating and thought it would be better to just make you stay away. :)

You practically lived in Winterfell and the Starks would be receiving some royal visitors. The Queen and her son Tommen would come to visit Winterfell. You were very excited because you never met them before and heard great stories about the future king.

“Sansa! Imagine that the prince would like one of us? Then we’d become the next queen! Isn’t that just a dream?” That is what Bran overheard when he was walking around the place.

“Do you think he could end your betrothal to my brother? If he does, promise me you will remember me!” “Sansa, I will never ever forget you!”

Next day at dinner he decided to do a teeny tiny bit of questioning, did you really like the prince? Were you so desperate to get away from him?

“So Y/N, excited for the visit of the prince?” He gave you a sweet angelic look

“Yeah! I’ve heard great stories about him. Did you hear that he is great at archery and sword fighting?! Like that’s so cool!”

Bran scoffed a bit and replied snarkier than he intended “Pff well I am good with bow and arrow as well you know?”

The day of the visit

You were practically running around, trying to look your absolute best for the prince. You were very intrigued by all the stories you heard the people tell.

“Children, please come to the courtyard, they are arriving!” You could hear Ned’s voice coming from downstairs. With a last glance at the mirror, and deciding you looked amazing as usual you went downstairs.

You took your spot next to your husband to be, who looked extremely happy to see you as he always does haha not. “Good morning Bran! Excited for the visit?” You almost shined with excitement. “Cant wait.” Bran first wanted to cancel the betrothal by making you and the prince a thing. But now as he heard you speak about the prince already without ever seeing him, and now seeing you radiating with energy he started to doubt his intentions.

Could it be possible that he didn’t want to lose you?

Well no time to think about it, Tommen is leaving the carriage and approaching him and you.

“Hello Bran, very nice to see you again. But who is this beautiful person next to you? Excuse me, but I never had the pleasure to mee you I think.” Tommen extended his hand which you gladly accepted, and he planted a gentle kiss on top of your hand.

“Your grace, my name is Y/N of the house Greenfield.” You were delighted that the prince even spoke to you.

“Ah the youngest of the Greenfields, I’ve heard stories about how you are considered one of the prettiest people alive. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Alright Bran was getting more annoyed by the second now, so the little devil he is decided to meddle a bit.

“I’m so lucky to have Y/N as my betrothed,” Bran wrapped his hands around you which took you by surprise. “I really have to thank my father for that.”

“Ah so you are the man lucky enough to be the betrothed of the prettiest person? Well consider yourself lucky Bran, I know a lot of people who would think not twice before offering their hand.”

“Yeah….. Very lucky indeed.” With that the Prince left to enter the castle and settle into a room.

“Alright what the fuck was that Bran?” you hissed at him.

“Whaaattttt? Can’t I appreciate my future wife?” He replied as if he had done nothing wrong.

“Well you didn’t do anything of the sorts the past 5 years so it’s a bit suspicious don’t you think?!”

You tried to walk away but he grabbed your hand and pulled you back in. “I meant what I said just now. Thought you should know.”

With that the future lord of Winterfell left you there standing alone in the middle of the courtyard. Very confused and stunned

You never truly disliked Bran but it seemed he did for a while. So where was this coming from?

“Y/N can you help me with my hair?” That was Sansa shouting at you from the window.

“I’m coming!”

The dinner disaster

What is it with people and placing people where they do not want to be?

On the head of the table was Ned, on his left side were Cathelyn, Arya, Sansa and Robb. On the other head was Cersei. To Ned’s right were Bran, you and then Tommen.

You were placed directly between them, how awkward.

“So Y/N, what do you enjoy doing these days here in Winterfell? I can imagine that it is very different than in the Vale.” The queen spoke to you. Oh my god she acknowledged you.

“Well you highness, even though it is indeed very different from the Vale I don’t think it are bad differences. The main one I had to adapt to is that it’s a bit colder. But as to what I enjoy doing, I really like to ride my horse in the woods. I enjoy reading in our library and recently I have followed some lessons alongside Sansa and Arya in stitching. Although I don’t know if that’s my thing or if it’s too “girly” for me.”

Next to speak was Tommen. “Reading and horseback riding? So many talents in one person, I imagine that the Gods decided to not divide it evenly and that someone missed out.” He said while clearly looking at Bran with the last statement.

Bran deciding to try to ignore Tommen as much as possible spoke to you in such a kind voice you thought he was a different person. “Y/N, what did you read as last again? I remember being very intrigued by it and I would like to read it as well.”

“Oh well, it was something called The history of the Throne. It was very interesting, the stories went back to almost the beginning of the Targaryen dynasty. It also described the dance of the dragons and all that drama in great detail!” You replied back sweetly, but speaking to Bran caused you to turn your back to Tommen which he didn’t really appreciate so he spoke again.

“Aha speaking about the dance of the dragons, do you like them? And who do you think was the rightful heir to the throne?”

So you turned around again now facing Tommen. “Do I like dragons? Who in their right mind doesn’t? The rightful heir, that a very difficult question. I fully understand Rhaenyra, buuuuutt I also understand where Alicent came from. She just thought that Viserys meant their son Aegon and from that point it all became very very confusing.” Tommen was smiling at the attention, Bran however was not.

Before he had the chance to speak the Queen spoke up and you were relieved to hear someone else speak for a while. You weren’t really listening so you were surprised when you heard your name being called by her. “Y/N, darling did you hear me?” “Sorry my Queen I was a bit distracted, could you repeat it for me please?” “I asked you if you like it here in Winterfell and if you look forward to your marriage with Bran?”

Bran grew anxious, if you said no he would be fucked and lose the person he loved.The queen would probably suggest you coming along with her and then marry the prince. Wait hold on did he just think that he loves you? Nono that must be a mistake right? I don’t love Y/N, or do I?

You noticed Bran spacing out and gently placed your hand on top of his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. This seemed to bring him back and he looked a bit surprised at you.

“My queen I can assure you that I’m really enjoying Winterfell and I coudnt be more excited for the wedding.” This seemed to shock almost everyone at the table, including Ned and Catelyn. Who tried on numerous occasions to change their sons mind.

“That’s good to hear. Tommen my dear, is everything okay? You look a bit pale.” All of your eyes went over to Tommen who indeed looked paler than normal, probably hoping you weren’t happy. You knew how Tommen must feel and pitied him a bit, so you leaned in close to him and whispered “I know a woman who would be lucky to meet you my prince, she is prettier than I am. Her name is Margaery Tyrell.”

Tommen instantly felt a lot better and couldn’t wait to leave Winterfell all of a sudden.

You and Bran? You guys got married the week after you turned 18, he is your little grumpy man.

[cat3ch1sm]

ok. after looking deep within myself i figured it out. bestie i tried so hard to do a different topic but now i’m craving a part 2 😩. this time task force shows up scarred and scared cause duh. L is there at his desk thank God but oh? mystery girlfriend who’s first impression was an ✨interesting✨ one is lounging on the couch just there chilling maybe book reading (was gonna say candy crush but i remembered this was 2006 so i’m gonna shut up) and insert [and she looks at me and i look at him audio] cause now task force inner dialogue is “how the fuck did L achieve this” and can’t stop analyzing her because genuinely what the fuck 🥲. girlfriend sees the lack of work getting done and L is annoyed at their loud ass thinking thoughts so she allows them to have one question each (please feel free to come up with the questions i beg my creativity only takes me so far 🥲🥲) i do ask though for one of them (maybe matsuda??) asking the out of pocket question about el incident. surprisingly you can make this work sfw but if you can somehow find a way to fit the “n” then go right ahead. my thoughts are jumbled but i know you’ll find a way to make it a coherent story. i pay with infinite love and kisses 😌☝️❤️

🐢| gRR this took too long im so sorry bestie💔💔💔💔 here is ur story i hope u like it<33 ngl yn is a little arrogant LMFAO

🥝| link to part one <33

🌱|also this sucks pls forgive me pls

It had been around 36 hours since the incident with L- who still didn't seem to want to acknowledge that it happened to begin with. The task force members had shown up to headquarters once more, albeit rather cautiously this time- creeping in an almost nervous manner through the bulletproof doors, listening carefully and quietly for any out of the ordinary sounds. Even Matsuda refrained from his usual griping to make sure the coast was clear- neither of them wanted a repeat of the last time.

Luckily, the men's fears were eased when they finally got up the guts to enter the front room where L always was when they arrived- well, almost always. There, crouched in his swivel chair and holding his knees, sat L, peering at the group as if he'd been watching them for some time already.

"Hello- let's get down to business, shall we?" L greeted the group nonchalantly before turning to face the computer monitors spread along the surface of the desk. If he had any thoughts about the other day, he wasn't showing it- which the men had pretty much expected.

Light, seeming slightly on edge himself, nodded resolutely and stepped up to L's side. "Right. So we had just started to look into Yotsu-"

He cut himself off when he turned his head and saw you, sitting on the couch behind him and reading a book, paying absolutely no mind to your surroundings. L tilted his head strangely at Light before turning to follow his gaze, and your eyes lifted from the pages of your book to meet his before they locked with Light's.

The rest of the task force noticed you just after Light did- Matsuda gaping at you a little longer than was necessary. Too soon, they had recalled just who you were.

You let out a low, rueful chuckle under your breath- so they remembered you. Smiling some to yourself, you lifted your head to look at the task force members in turn.

"Hey."

Light cocked his head at you, an unreadable expression on his face, before facing L again. "You didn't tell us you'd invited a friend, Ryuzaki."

L's back was to you as he replied, tone flat. "Ah. Yes, that's Y/N; she'll be with us for the time being- mind that that isn't her real name. Y/N, this is Light Yagami."

Light nodded at you. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine," you answered automatically, no longer looking at anyone directly and focus returning to your book. For a little while after the somewhat "off" greeting, there was a few seconds of awkward silence before the others remembered to introduce themselves properly; various mumbled "hellos" came from the rest of the task force.

It was clear to you, and most definitely L, that the task force with the probable exception of Light behaved oddly around you, despite that all you were doing was reading. Both you and L knew it was more than likely the incident from the other day that prompted them to sort of tiptoe around you. Both you and L could read them like an open book- it was painfully obvious they were full of questions. While you weren't in the mood to pretend to want to speak with these men you didn't know, you felt even less like having them stare at you the entire day. And besides, it was only hurting them- besides Light and L, the men didn't really seem to be contributing much to the operation at the moment.

Feeling increasingly like you were being watched, you opened your mouth to say something- but L ended up beating you to it.

"Judging by your confused expressions, I'm assuming you all have questions about Y/N's presence."

Aizawa, eyeing you, seemed apologetic, but did not waver as he spoke. "It's just that this is a total stranger to us- there aren't a lot of people we can trust right now, Ryuzaki. It would just be nice if we had a little more information."

So they felt the same way about you that you did about them. Somehow, that was a little amusing.

"I have to agree with Aizawa," Soichiro added, sending a sideways look towards you from behind his glasses. "You may know her, but we don't. What purpose does she serve? Will she be here regularly? How close-"

Your annoyance growing, you had to cut in, now fully lifting your head to look directly at the task force members. "Hey- I'm right here, you know," you interrupted a little testily, making Soichiro, Aizawa, and Matsuda all turn to look at you. "Feel free to ask me these things at any time instead of talking to L- Ryuzaki like I'm not here."

You didn't get a verbal response in return; the men only regarding you with slight suspicion before glancing at each other and then L as if waiting for him to back them up. But L seemed uninterested in the issue, only lifting a hand to silence everyone, his eyes still focused intently on the monitors before him.

"Y/N is right," L mumbled in a low voice, a pale thumb in between his teeth. "If you want to know who she is, why don't you ask her yourself?"

You nodded, fixing each of the men with a pointed stare. "Yes- why don't we do that. Just to ease the tension." You set down your book on the sofa and straightened up, slipping your necklace with L's initial beneath your shirt. "You can each ask me one question- whatever you want. That way, you'll know I'm not hiding anything. However- try and keep your questions impersonal; there are things I'm unable to share with you."

Of course, the last remark was just for show. If you were asked anything you didn't want to answer, you'd simply lie. Perhaps then you'd get the men, mainly Soichiro and Aizawa, off your back- you weren't much fond of feeling like an outsider around someone you'd known for far longer than anyone in the task force. Besides, your ego was taking a couple of hits- and you couldn't have that.

There was a brief moment of silence as the others thought your offer over. But Soichiro, anxious to get back on task, lifted both of his hands in front of his face in a surrendering gesture. "No, no- there's no need for that. If Ryuzaki trusts you, then-"

"No, it's too late now. You've made your feelings towards me clear. I only want to see if I can change them." Smiling brightly, albeit insincerely, you placed your hands on your knees in a friendly position. "Since you're talking- why don't you go first?"

Soichiro blinked at you, surprised at your audacity, before asking his question. "Well, I suppose I'll start with the basics. Will you be working with us on the Kira investigation?"

You answered immediately; the quicker your answers, the less suspicion. "Doubt it- detective work is more L's department. However, I might contribute every now and then, and I'll certainly be popping in more than occasionally. Next?" you asked sweetly, turning your attention to Aizawa.

Aizawa had clearly been thinking about this from the very first time he'd seen you. "What's your relationship with Ryuzaki?"

"Good question," you affirmed, pursing your lips for a moment before replying. "I'm just a friend. Light?"

Light, seeming distracted, snapped his head away from the computer and turned to face you. "A question... hmm, I think I've got one. Do you have any thoughts on the Kira situation?"

You'd pretty much expected such a question from Light- you could basically tell what kind of person he was already. Of course, having L come to your bedroom and tell you about him every day did help with your analysis.

"I have mixed thoughts, I suppose," you replied honestly, propping your chin up on one hand. "On one hand, I'm not in favor of murder. On the other hand, crime rates have dropped quite drastically, and at least Japan is an overall safer place." You shrugged, holding Light's gaze for a second or two more before finally turning to Matsuda, who looked up, apparently startled. "Oh! Right, my turn... okay, I think I know exactly what I want to ask."

Wordlessly, you tilted your head at Matsuda- you didn't know that much about him, as L had never really brought him up, and you'd deduced that he simply hadn't cared to- which was likely because of Matsuda's clearly naive and rather clumsy demeanor. You figured he was less of an asset than a liability to the mostly work-oriented and orderly task force. Long story short, you weren't expecting any thought-provoking questions from him.

Nonetheless, you were very caught off guard when he asked casually, "Was that you we heard the other day? Upstairs before L came down?"

Shit.

Quickly feigning confusion, you squinted your eyes. "What do you mean?"

Matsuda dropped his gaze to the ground, his cheeks beginning to fade into a pale shade of pink as he put his hand behind his head sheepishly. "Well, it's just, a few days back we all came inside and sort of heard moa- strange sounds coming from upstairs? And then you came down once they stopped. It's just, uh, we were- I mean, I was- just a little curious."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Aizawa cringe and Soichiro wince, while L continued to keep his back turned towards you. Light turned his head for a moment to glance curiously at Matsuda and then you before quickly averting his eyes.

How long had they all been thinking about that?

You took a deep breath, silently letting it out before smiling brightly and answering.

"I'm afraid that's a personal question."

[workofheart]

eren jaeger relationship hcs

eren’s turn! modern relationship hcs. nsfw under the cut as per usual <3 levi ver.

really clingy. when ur away on a trip or something, he definitely cuddles your pillow and buries his head in it. might also spray your perfume on his hoodie so he can be reminded of you throughout the day (as if you aren’t already on his mind 24/7)

on that note, LOVES seeing you in his clothing. i feel like for most guys this is true and people mention it all the time, but eren especially. it makes him feel mushy and horny at the same time (more on that later) bc it just drapes over your shoulders perfectly. like he sees you and has to suck in a breath and look away to collect himself or else he’ll just become a puddle on the floor

likes hearing verbal affirmations. when you compliment him, tell him you’re proud of him, he gets all warm and fuzzy inside. it means so much coming from you and he knows you're genuine

really goofy, this is to be expected - tries to get you to laugh bc it raises his self esteem and confidence. he just likes looking at you being happy and smiling, it makes him feel so warm inside

definitely hides behind corners when he hears you walking or coming down the stairs so he can jump out and scare you. don’t worry though, because he always proceeds to hug you and kiss your forehead or temple to say he’s sorry but only kind of bc ur reaction was priceless. the little whack u give his arm in annoyance? he lovessss it bc it’s like he knows u still love him even when he is a little obnoxious

eren is definitely one of those enemies to lovers kind of guy bc he desperately wants someone to love him not necessarily in spite of his flaws, but with his flaws. he needs u to acknowledge that he’s far from a perfect person but still love him regardless

his favorite kind of dates are park dates. he likes going on warm & sunny days to throw a frisbee around with you in the open fields. i feel like he’s a basketball guy so he’ll bring you onto the court and play knockout... when he loses, will tell you he let you win on purpose for the sake of his ego 

lolll imagine him critiquing your free throw form or something and coming up behind you to fix it (it wasn’t actually that bad, he just wanted an excuse to be near you)

really needs physical touch. he’s the kind of guy who will always be in contact w you in some way or another. when driving, his hand will be on your thigh or holding yours on top of the center console, same for if you’re out at restaurants but under the table. he’d definitely try and play footsies with you if you’re sitting across from him rather than beside him. when sleeping, he holds you really tight and won’t let you roll over so you better just get comfortable. 

doesn’t mind being ur photographer and taking pics for you. he takes some time to learn the methods for the best pics but he eventually gets it

this is kind of random but when playing minecraft, he always blows up creepers and never fills in the creeper holes :| sorry. to make up for it he’ll get you music discs. also likes just going on little adventures to find a sand biome two thousand blocks away and just walking with you in game

on this topic actually i LOVE the idea of gamer bf eren. like not the league-and-monster-drinking kind but sumn about him in a headset and sitting at the edge of his bed... but he’ll definitely teach you how to play shooter games and will be so nice about it, won’t get mad at you, will give you little kisses when you’re not doing well and getting frustrated, and if you’re playing in online lobbies together he’ll stick by you the whole time and carry you

always sending you tiktoks & tries to get you to do all the trends with him. they never go viral but he goes back and watches them when he misses you

i peg him as a cat guy! really good with animals in general. i think most people would expect him to be a dog person since he can be loud and rowdy and excited, but on an emotional level i think he also just likes to be calm and relaxed and would get along with cats well. also teases you when animals reject you for him.

definitely writes about you in his journal. he jots down funny things you say or do or moments you shared so he never forgets any of them, and when he misses you he’ll read through them :( imagine when you’re so much older and he has documented proof of his love for you back when he was young please it makes me cry

also writes down little poetic words or things that remind him of you. he’ll hear a quote in a movie or a book or a song that instantly makes you pop into his head and he just has to write it down. he’s probably tried writing poems or songs about you, but he keeps those really secret because he’s embarrassed

this is kind of random but i think he’s a total beach person! likes going to spend days in the sun, builds sand castles and asks for your rating, drags you into the water to swim with him, will dive under and grab your ankles to freak you out, also looks really good in swim trunks but that's besides the point

he hates to see you upset and tries to cuddle the sadness out of you. when needs be, he’s a really good listener and doesn’t mind letting you just vent. when you cry, he pulls you in for a really tight hug and cradles your head - also because if he sees you crying, he’ll start to cry too because he genuinely feels for you 

tries his best to take care of you when you’re sick. not really a good cook or anything, but he’ll make you a grilled cheese or a pop tart, albeit a little crispy even though it’s his third attempt. doesn’t mind being near you and isn’t afraid of getting sick so he’ll cuddle you anyway

loses focus when you’re talking to him sometimes but it’s not because he’s not listening, it’s because he just gets caught up in staring at you and how you look when you talk bc he just adores you. when you snap him out of his, he always gets all red and blushy :(

nsfw under the cut (18+)

really likes sending & receiving nudes/lewds. he always goes for the torso selfie to show off his chest/abs when sending, and it doesn’t matter to him what you send back because he’ll like anything you have to offer

and his responses aren’t lame either. NOT the type to send you a thumbs up or a “ayo you sexy as hell fr doe” - he will hype you up with dirty talk because he seriously means it. honestly might just send you a voice message, or call you if you’re alone and available bc while he might look at pics of you from time to time for aesthetics, the majority of the time he’s jacking off

so you know how i said he likes seeing you in his clothing? he especially likes nudes of you in his clothes. send him a pic wearing his zip up hoodie & nothing else and he’s yours 

he prefers being in control/being on top but doesn’t mind if you want to take the reigns every once in a while

throws his head back and groans when u give him head. that's the image.

one of his favorite positions is when you’re in doggy but he pulls you up by the arms so your back is against his chest. he’ll snake a hand around to rub tight little circles on your clit, might put his hand around your throat if you like it. heavenly.

reallyyyy dirty mouth omg. asks sooo many teasing questions, likes hearing you say his name. “you like that, princess?” “louder for me” “who’s making you feel this good?” ugh and it’s not awkward either he makes it sound so good

has a lot of energy and a lot of stamina. stroke game will make you pass out, he’s so smooth and sets such a rhythm with his hips

things that get him going: kissing under his jaw, especially up by his ear. sucking his fingers. tugging on his hair. running your nails down his back.

pins your thighs to the bed when he eats you out. likes to make you squirm and loooves to edge you. super teasing in every way

can we just talk about his voice for a sec... he has the prettiest moans and isn’t afraid to let you know how he’s feeling. when you’re in missionary, he’ll hold himself up with one elbow, hold your hand with the other, and will lean down to moan right in your ear. sometimes does it on purpose bc he knows it turns you on from how you clench around him

usually has a death grip on that sensitive spot between your hips and your waist so he has something to hold on to while he pounds you

when he cums, he 100% buries his face in the crook of your neck, might even bite down from time to time 

can totally see him going harder if he knows there’s people around, he doesn’t care who it is that’s outside the door but they’re gonna hear how good he’s making you feel whether you like it or not

wants to see your face when you cum. will definitely tell you to cum for him and keep your eyes open when he’s really feeling it - your expression makes him nut so fucking hard lawwddd

daps u up after sex just cause he’s weird like that lol

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part One. George: the definition of “hello, have you met my friend?”

warnings: none word count: 1568 (not including pictures) *** Bugsy is Y/n’s username! I got too attached to change it to y/u/n so change it in your mind if you’d like :) 

behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist

ultimate masterlist

-

Y/n sighed lightly as she set her phone on the desk in front of her. Her eyes traveled back to her monitor, where George was sharing his screen on Discord as he practiced speedruns. Y/n and Sapnap were on call with him to keep him company.

The cold air around her nipped at her skin, sending chills and bringing goosebumps. She pulled her hoodie closer to her body, tucking her feet on her chair to curl herself in a ball.

"This run sucks," George mumbled. "I thought it was going to be good."

"It would have if the village actually had anything useful," Sapnap commented. "There was a lava pool at spawn and everything."

"What do you think, Bugsy? Should I start over?"

She hummed, squinting at the screen. "Yeah, you should."

He left and started a new run.

"Karl's replies on Twitter are always so funny," Sapnap giggled after a few moments of silence. "He's so formal."

"I love that kid. That's my best friend right there, no cap," Y/n said with a smile. She and Karl had been friends for a few years now. They met through their parents being friends and shortly found out the other streamed and quickly bonded over that as their fanbases grew.

"Did you see Wilbur's response to your tweet?" Sapnap asked. "Man wrote you a letter."

"What did the tweets say?" George asked, half-listening as he focused on his run.

Sapnap read them and George laughed through his nose. "How could you ask for a Minecraft boyfriend while you're literally on a call with us while I'm playing Minecraft?"

"Just keeping my options open," Y/n laughed. "Don't worry, I'm wearing a GeorgeNotFound hoodie as we speak."

"I'd be worried, George. There are quite a few proposals in the responses."

"Shut up," Y/n muttered, a smile on her face that she was glad neither of them could see. "George, you remember my roommate is in love with you, right? Don't upset her by being jealous of boys coming after me."

"You're an idiot," George breathed out in a laugh. "No, she's not."

"She is. Very much."

"No, no, she isn't."

"George," Sapnap sighed dramatically. "Just accept that you can be loved."

"You're both idiots, okay?" George laughed awkwardly. "This seed is terrible," he groaned.

"Wait!" Sapnap yelled. "Village on the left!"

George quickly turned and ran towards the village to loot it. Y/n watched with Sapnap as George found iron and a few other valuable things.

"Oh! This might be okay."

"Bugsy?" Sapnap asked slowly, sounding confused.

"Sapnap?" she replied in the same tone.

"Have you not met Quackity?"

"No. What made you ask?"

"I just saw his response to your tweet."

"Why are you two on your phones? I'm speedrunning!"

"Because you still haven't made it to the nether on any of them," Sapnap bit. "How are you best friends with Karl and you haven't you met Quackity?"

"I dunno. I just haven't. There's a lot of people I have only spoken to through Twitter replies."

"Like who?" George asked.

"Why are we only talking about me?" Y/n asked in slight frustration. She wasn't fond of talking about herself because she wasn't used to it. "This is George's stream."

"Well, now I'm really curious so I wanna talk about this," George laughed. "Who haven't you met?"

"I dunno!" she said, flustered. "Quackity, Wilbur, Dream, Tubbo, Tomm-- wait, no I met Tommy. He yelled at me."

"Wait, wait, what?" Sapnap interrupted.

Y/n paused but neither of them said anything. "What?"

"You haven't met Dream?" George asked, sounding equally as confused.

No one said anything. "No? Why is that surprising. I mean, we've joked through tweets and stuff but I've never played with him or actually spoken to him."

"What about DMs and stuff?" George asked.

"Nope. Dream is just thirsty in my replies like Wilbur," she joked, feeling the anxiety of the awkward pauses seep through her skin and touch her bones. Why were they being so weird about it? "Why is that so shocking that a man with, like, 15 million subscribers has never spoken to me?"

Sapnap laughed. "I'm just genuinely surprised that he hasn't reached out to you before."

"Yeah, me too," George agreed. "He talks about you in a way I thought you guys were good friends. And you're friends with us so I just assumed you were friends with him too."

Y/n laughed, nervous at the mention of being talked about. "Well, he must be a pussy or something because I have yet to receive any acknowledgement from Dream Was Taken besides him occasionally replying to my tweets and Instagram pictures."

George laughed suddenly, making Y/n look at the monitor with George's screen quickly, which wasn't moving. "What happened? Did you find something?"

"No," George's screen began moving again and he started building a portal. "Dream just texted me because he's watching the stream."

"What did he say?" Sapnap asked.

"He said, 'can I join the call? I don't want Bugsy to think I'm a pussy'," George answered, lowering his voice to a mumble before adding, "And something else he'd probably kill me if I said out loud."

Sapnap and George laughed at Y/n's silence. She was only joking, not intending to challenge him to talk to her. Honestly, she was relieved he had never spoken to her because he intimidated her. Meeting people made her nervous and Dream was no different. If anything, he was worse because he was a big deal and he kinda flirted with her sometimes, which gave her butterflies in a way she didn't like.

"I'm adding him to call," George announced.

"Wait, you're not going to check if I'm okay with meeting him live in front of 80,000 people?" Y/n asked with a small, nervous laugh.

"No, because it's my stream. I can do what I want. I can't live another second knowing you two have never talked."

"I think Bugsy's scared!" Sapnap coeed.

"I think so too!"

"You wish," Y/n muttered.

A small sound emitted from Discord, notifying everyone that someone joined the voice chat.

"Hello Dreeaamm..." George dragged out as he navigated the nether. "I made it to the nether, Sapnap. Will you get off your phone now?"

"Yeah, I guess. Hi Dream!"

"Hello," Dream said casually. "Hello, Bugsy."

Y/n lowered in her chair more, pulling her hood up and closing it tight over her eyes. No one could see her but his voice made her feel seen.

Sapnap giggled and George laughed. Dream breathed out a laugh. Y/n responded with a small, "Hi."

"Bugsy, you're such a liar!" Sapnap called out. "You are so scared."

"Shut up, Sapnap!" she chuckled.

"Scared of what?" Dream asked innocently.

"Meeting you," George answered. Traitor.

"Forgive me," Y/n started, sitting up in her seat and pulling open her hood to watch George play, "for being nervous to meet Mr. Speedrun in front of a huge live audience." She decided to joke around to hopefully ease the nervousness under her skin. "I'm just worried he's going to flirt with me again and I'll have to embarrass him in front of everyone by rejecting him again."

They all laughed.

"I mean, you already said Karl was in the lead for being your Minecraft boyfriend, so I really have no shot," Dream said.

"As if I'm letting some girl named Bugsy steal my fiance!" Sapnap yelled.

"Ah!" The attention was ripped away from Y/n as George screamed. Y/n looked at the screen, watching as her friend was getting attacked by a hoard of zombie pigmen.

"Why did you hit one, George?" she teased.

"I didn't mean to! AHH!!" he screeched, making everyone laugh. "STOP ATTACKING ME!"

"George!" Dream laughed. "Just run, you won't be able to kill them all!"

"I'm trying!" George fell in lava and screamed again. His death appeared on the screen and Y/n could hear him slam his desk. "That run was so good until the zombie pig came out of nowhere."

He started a new run and it was quiet for a moment before Dream's soft voice spoke again. "Well, Bugsy. I hope you forgive me for taking so long to speak to you."

"I-I was just kidding about you being a pussy," she mumbled, making him laugh.

"No, it's true. I was."

"Come on, Dream, sliding in my DMs is easy," she joked. "You could have if you wanted to."

"Trust us," George laughed, "he wanted to."

"What?" Dream asked George loudly, making Sapnap laugh.

"Dream, you talk about her all the time. George and I were both led to believe you were already friends based on how you talk about her."

"How I talk about her? What does that mean?" Dream sounded defensive and it made Y/n smile.

"You're always like, 'Bugsy did this' and 'Bugsy tweeted that', and 'I have to do a face reveal before Bugsy does because she'll outshine me'," Sapnap teased.

"Okay, the last one? I never said that. You're lying about that."

"But the rest of it is true?" Y/n teased.

"Look, you play good and your tweets are funny! I didn't come on here to get bullied, oh my gosh."

**********

A/N: this is my first time attempting a social media fic so the theme of this series is gonna be ignore the number of likes/retweets and stuff just know that y/n is a much smaller streamer she only gets a lot of likes and stuff when it involves other mcyt ya know okay fun times 

Please give feedback!! I hope you enjoy it!!! I don’t have a schedule right now but I might in the future if this series gets a lot of attention :) as of right now i’ll try to update at least once a week! 

NEXT

[mammonswhore]

Heyo~ can I get some headcanons for when the brothers' take mc shopping but mc feels guilty or unworthy and think they don't deserve to get gifts or have nice things done for them 😣thank u for being so amazing btw,,

Of course you can! Thank you for the compliment,you are amazing too♥🥺

Brothers react to an MC who feels unworthy and guilty when shopping.

✒Lucifer

He is the type to spoil his lover in special occasions but he knows when is a good timing to take a break and pamper them for being there for him and loving him despite his flaws.

It goes without a saying he is taking you to a high standard mall for shopping.

He is not dumb so he notices right away you are uncomfortable,at first he thinks it us because of all the glares but then he realizes it can't be that.

So he confronts you about it in a very soft way trying not to startle you.

"MC dear,is there something bothering you?"

He hears you sigh and waits for an answer patiently.

"Lucifer you know I love you but I don't feel good having you taking me shopping. It makes me feel weird spending your money just like that and yeah I know I spend part of your money because I live in your house, eat the food that you buy and..."

"MC,be quiet for a few seconds."

He proceeds to hold your hands and look with his signature loving gaze that he saved for you and you only.

He couldn't believe such a beautiful human could be so thoughtful and precious. He pulls one of his hands out of his gloves and lifts it up to caress your face appreciating your beauty.

"You need to have this type of attention, after all you have been through with me and my rowdy brothers it's quite weird that you haven't asked for anything in exchange. You know that you can ask for anything and I will provide it,don't you?"

✒Mammon

Mammon is the type of "I'm spoiling you because I'm about to fuck things up/I fucked things up already" so you know how things go here.

But his way of spoiling is not taking you to a mall and shop you whatever you want,his way is more about "I heard that you wanted this so I bought it for you when you were clearly not looking."

And this time it was different,he was decided to spend part all of his grimm to spoil you and you were not about letting him do that.

"Honey... Do you really want to do this? I don't think spending this much money on clothes for me is that worthy and maybe you can use this money to pay part of your debt with..."

"Cut it,MC. If I say I'm going to spoil you then that's what I am going to do,don't worry about my debts and be cool."

But he couldn't avoid but to notice the look and your eyes when he used his card to pay for something he choose for you.

"MC I will get mad if you don't start enjoying this,it's not every day that the Great Mammon decides to spoil someone with his own money!" He said half jokingly half mad.

"I don't think I deserve this,Mammon."

Oh no,no no no no. He blushes almost immediately and starts mumbling things about how you changed him and that he is spoiling you because he knows you deserve to be treated differently once in a while since you did so many things for him and his brothers.

After all the mumbling you clearly heard he kisses your cheek and tells you to "cut the crap" and buys some ice cream.

✒Leviathan

Levi does not leave his room for more than one or two hours a day so leaving the house with him is a big deal.

You two were heading to the anime store he usually goes to and he decided that he will spend some of his money buying some things anime related that you will like.

When both of you get to the store he tells you to get some things he might like to make it more interesting even tho it's only a tramp. A cute tramp.

Levi is the type to really listen and acknowledge your words so it was not hard for him to pick things for you.

When both of you got to show each other the things you choose,he noticed the look on your face was not what he was expecting.

"Levi you don't have to buy things for me, spend your money on your own things and not on me please."

His face frowns and he is clearly confused about this attitude and asks you to please explain what you mean.

"Well you know... I don't feel like I deserve this type of gift from you."

"What? MC um... I-I love you a-and I do this because I know you w-will like it so don't start acting like a normie now."

Levi looks away from you when saying this and gets the things you choose for him the cashier along with the things he pick.

Sometimes will remember you that he thinks you are the best and that you deserve to get this type of attention once in a while.

✒Satan

He clearly loves to be spoiled,no one can tell me otherwise. He likes to be spoiled with material things that are small such as keychains,rings or bracelets (even if he doesn't wear them,he likes them because in his mind you said "what a cute thing,it reminds me of my boyfriend" and he loves it) and likes to spoil you with more homemade things likes some sort of baking,writing or reading for you.

Still once in a while he likes to spoil you with things that are not the homemade type. Such as this time,he was waiting for you to pick a piece of jewelry you like. He was quick to realize you were just staying there staring at the several pieces of gold and silver in front of you hesitantly.

"Darling,is something wrong with the jewelry?" He asked with a questioning tone, glancing at you with his green eyes.

"Well I don't quite feel comfortable spending your money like this" You said blushing.

He smiled and softened his expression,he placed a hand on the top of your head and patted softly.

"I can afford spoil you every time I want and you need to know that I would not do this if you didn't deserve it. You do more than what you give yourself credit for so quit this behavior and let me treat you like you deserve to be treated."

✒Asmodeus.

He likes both spoil and be spoiled. His favorite way of spoil you is to take you to shopping sprees while he likes to be spoiled with daily things likes cuddles,kisses and taking baths together.

But he always noticed that the shopping sprees were less than what he expected them to be. You always have been careful to not let it slip anytime that you were uncomfortable with being treated that way because you knew he loved to do that for the ones he loves. And this time was not an exception.

"Sweetheart,is something wrong?" He asked almost clueless.

"Well you see,Asmo... I'm not fully comfortable spending your money with things only I can use and enjoy"

Asmodeus chuckled a little and took his lovers hands with a soft smile.

"Darling every time I have the chance to buy something for you I get thrilled with the idea of you wearing something I choose for you and you only. Don't worry about my money. You deserve to be treated like the type of person you are and before you say something I mean that in a very good way."

He kissed both of his partners cheeks and pushed them to keep on shopping reassuring them once in a while that he is thrilled with this.

✒Beelzebub

It all started when he was thinking about all the times MC feed him without complaining, all the times they woke up to his stomach growling and the countless times they made something for him to eat before going to bed. He felt sad that he was not giving back enough so he decided to use part of his money and take them shopping.

MC thought that they were going to the buffet Beel mentioned two days before but they were wrong.

"Surprise! I thought you will like to have some time for yourself so I made a reservation for the spa today,Asmo said you might like it."

He was happy and so was his partner but there was something about then that didn't seem right.

"MC,is everything okay? You don't like it? If you don't like it we can go somewhere else I don't mind."

"Beel,I don't feel like spending your money like this."

Beel was confused about his lover's words. He could only think about making the wrong choice when following Asmo's advice and making things awkward.

"It's not your fault I just don't feel like spending your money like this on me,we can go somewhere else and..."

"MC,do you feel like you don't deserve this?" He asked suddenly realizing.

MC just sighed and looked away from him, they were feeling the guilt build up.

"From all the people I know I honestly think you are one of the few who deserves this type of attention and I'm happy I'm the one proving this to you."

Maybe it was his smile,the soft tone on his voice or his long fingers twitching to hold theirs but MC felt relieved and less uncomfortable going to the spa.

✒Belphegor.

For once he decided to not act like a brat and take MC shopping a few days before their birthday. He was going to make this shopping spree his birthday gift from his part and he was also going to give in to the constant protesting about not leaving the house.

It was a perfect plan,he even asked Lucifer for permission to do his chores later and spend some timw with MC.

But the plan was not perfect for his lover who seemed rather uncomfortable than happy.

"You can pick whatever you want,I will just enjoy and pay,okay?" Was what he said when they arrived to the mall.

"Belphie you know I love you but why don't we go back to the house and do something there?"

He was not having it. His first thought was that they were ashamed but he then realized that they couldn't be ashamed of being seen with him or to receive things from him because he already made gifts from them.

"MC,do you feel like you don't deserve this?"

The answer was shocking,the guilt on MC's eyes was clear as water and the sudden wave of guilt made Belphie look away from them.

"Listen I know I'm not the one for the sweet talk but you do deserve this and it's also a gift from me to you since it's your birthday in a few days so... Please shut up and go shopping."

Belphie was beyond flustered and so was MC. Both of them tried to calm down before going shopping.

[perrypixel]

ace 🤝 anon again (prob my last one for awhile bc I feel bad that I’m kinda spamming u haha)

no no NO YOU GET ME

aroace Hunter hc??? pls come here so I can shake ur shoulders excitedly thank u for validating me

i humbly raise u this: aroace Willow. there’s something actually so personal to me about the prospect of someone like her who’s obviously very loving and thoughtful and could even have what ppl would consider a ‘romantic’ personality being aroace. like yes she loves all her friends and the ppl around her w everything in her. also yes, she doesn’t experience romantic attraction. she’s still filled w intense love for the ppl around her all the same. it makes me feel things.

considering goldenlight, I just think of them years later entering a very tentative relationship after a very strong bestie arc where they both acknowledge they have strong feelings for one another but neither are quite certain where they fall. (Hunter is at LEAST aroacepec I’m just correct I’m sorry everyone) and it’s just so slow and sweet. they’ll be watching a movie and Hunter will hesitantly lean over and rest his head on Luzs shoulder. it’s nothing like the books where his heart is supposed to be pounding; he is relaxed. He only hesitates in moments like this because he still has his fears over his sense of judgement, if he can trust himself enough to let himself become devoted to other people like he did in the past for Belos. it’s not that he heals only with luz or solely because of her, its because of everyone. he grows genuinely close to everyone. he learns how to love everyone properly and be loved in return. mmmm. them coming to a point where luz very gently takes him by the shoulder and asks him if she can kiss him. bc she knows he’s not sure if he can even handle a romantic relationship and also that she wants to respect his boundaries so bad. luz very tenderly holding his face when she receives a nod and leaning forward to embrace him, forehead to forehead for a bit before very gingerly kissing him. god. god. god. man. luz and Hunter being awkward yet gentle with one another during intimate moments like that is everything to me actually.

ANON YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY OH MY GOD THAT’S THE SWEETEST THING I’VE EVER READ!

Also, Ive mentioned aroace willow before! And mentioned she has so much platonic love to give and people confuse it for romance! 

Also please spam my inbox with goldenlight stuff. Cause I have a BUNCH of post sitting in my drafts related to them. Any goldenlight asks is welcome

[ketterdamns]

a brief history

so anyway i’ve been doing a lot of work over the last year (hence why im kinda awol and maybe less positive than I used to be) and the biggest thing that has always come up is to stop retreating when I need to be honest about the things that have happened to me, when acknowledging the things in my life that have damaged me and also as an exercise to let trust my friends and others not to use this information to hurt me- the only power of these words in the hands of others is what I perceive them to have. if i give it away freely and own it it can no longer be used to hurt me, or at least, that is the general idea i might regret this. i might not. i just think i need to try because im so so so tired. 

Anyway, under the cut; csa, parental and spousal abuse, rape, trauma,drugs, addiction, basically all of the triggers. a slightly optimistic ending tho!!! 

Additionally; if you read this, please can you in some way acknowledge that u have, via text, whatsapp, dm, pm, messages, likes (no reblogs pls!!)  just so i can keep track of who knows what ty!!!!

its really hard to admit that ive never had a stable home life. never even had a stable home, from the moment i was in the womb my mum was running, away from my dad (who never let her go), from my dad’s mum- who wanted me dead for reasons my mum has never been able to divulge, from poverty and homelessness throughout my formative years. 

That’s when it started maybe, I was about 3-4/5 we ended up having to move in with my uncle (my dads brother) and his wife. it was an uncomfortable situation for all, we were a family of four intruding on newlyweds, but we were desperate and immigrants to a new country without qualifications for work or money to support us or even a job to hold down. My mum tried her best, but my brother was one and i was two years older. I ended up spending a lot of time with my uncle, who often “took me off of her hands” for afternoons. I don’t rly remember those afternoons, except that I would always play up beforehand, not wanting to go. At some point, my aunt caught on, and instead of talking to her husband, or throwing his pedo ass out, she took out her ??jealousy?? on me, and started pinching me so hard i bruised. she would blame me for my uncle’s behaviour. i was a “madame” pretending to be his “princess”, my mum caught her hitting me, and packed our bags immediately, despite my father not allowing us to leave. we had to stay in that house for another two months, and this is when my mum would never want to let me out of her sight again. And this is also the beginning of the pattern that my dad would allow these things to happen to me but I was just a baby. I didn’t understand. I didn’t know what was happening or why they were. No-one spoke to me and I had no one else in my life at that time. 

We spent some really uncomfortable years in uncomfortable places, but honestly being homeless for that year, and then moving into council accommodation was sort of the least of my worries. I was eight years old the time I was sexually and emotionally abused by my other uncle (also my dad’s brother). It was my first trip back to our home country My grandma spent all her time telling me I was awful (it turns out... she’s a piece of shit) all because I refused to call her “Mum”, she wanted to kidnap me and my brother, and idk what else. but we scuppered her plans by not going along with it. It was a very toxic and scary environment, so when my Uncle would invite me into his next door flat, and treat me with kindness, I was overjoyed. Finally, another adult I could trust! My grandparents used to police food, and essentially only allowed me one meal a day. Back in the UK we were very poor, and rarely got to have sweets unless they were gifts from other people, so my uncle already had the perfect tool to entice me. That first summer, I ate sweets and let him pamper me, slowly giving him more and more affection like sitting on his lap etc, because it meant more sweets for me and my brother. he was my favourite person in the world and i was sure that he was the one person i could truly trust and talk to about anything. I used to dream of moving in with him and living peacefully, well fed, in a quiet cosy environment. The next summer, I was nine, and my dad had almost finished his uni, meaning we were expecting more money. I had my fill of sweets. He bought me toys instead. Slowly, his requests for affection turned into demands. Slowly, his affection turned into something twisted and horrible, something dirty. I once tried to raise the point to my grandma, that sometimes my uncle did things that scared me. she told me off for being a coward. I didn’t say anything. I was getting toys, my little brother was being fed, my mum finally had a friend in my dads side of the family in him. I knew enough about unstable homes that the slightest disagreement could lead to homelessness again and I didnt want that. Maybe my silence was my strength. 

This was confirmed when he raped me when I was 12. It is the last time I will ever see that side of the family. I was in shock the whole time, I didn’t know what to do. When we got home, back onto firm cold soil and the safety of our shitty one bedroom council flat in the roughest estate , I opened up to my dad that for years i’d been terrorised by my uncle and afraid of saying something. Dads were supposed to protect their little girls from big bad men, even if that man was their brother. 

All I got for my troubles was another man who began to hurt me. Outraged that I’d ever speak something so horrible my dad began to beat me. Constantly. And if my mum got involved? He’d beat her too. she didn’t even know what was happening, but there was a point she also went silent, and it was all on me to bear the pain I’d tried to share. The following summer, my uncle died in a freak accident When I heard the news I laughed because I couldn’t help myself, and getting hit for it was worth it for the news. I never had to see him again.  He died and I was free. Except my dad never quite forgot what I had said, and he never forgave me for it. 

Anyway by this point I was a teenager, we moved again and constantly over the years until we properly settled and actually bought a house and I had a strong group of friends who didn’t mind my weirdness and my lack of skills. My mum at this point couldnt bear that I was branching out from her bubble, and something snapped in her too, she started to search my room, stalk my friends, refuse to let me out. honestly.. no i dont blame her (even tho her behaviour hasnt changed and im 23, but at the time? it increased how trapped i felt)

I was a teenager and I had a best friend. She loved a boy named DJ who was 18. DJ used to stalk me, and I kept quiet because I knew she liked him and I knew speaking up would cause me more trouble. I could look after her, and myself. DJ assaulted me one night at a party. I shouldn’t have been there and I shouldn’t have been doing what I was doing. I was already experimenting with drinks and drugs because I was dead inside anyway. he hurt me and then told my best friend that i’d hooked up with him and hoodwinked him into getting with me because i wanted to hurt her. within days that story was around school. i was the easy kid who would sleep with anyone for the drama, and i was quiet. i was terrified news would get to my mum, or my little brother who was also starting at that school. but most of all i was terrified of telling my side of the story, and to be hurt more than i was hurting already. I unfriended them all, and even though DJ continued to stalk me i kept quiet. DJ sent me a necklace with a dove, explaining the significance was that the dove was my innocence or some other weird creepy crap. my mum found it in the bin where id tried to bury it under rubbish i told her a fraction of the truth, I was being harassed by a boy and I didn’t welcome his advances. I didn’t tell her it was already too late. The school of course told him to keep away, and he did for the most part, and one time he tried to corner me while I was skiving off of a class and there was no one around, I ran and went to tell a teacher. I got told to “grow up” and sometimes “we have to get along with people we dont like”. I was the villain in their eyes. I swore  I would do everything in my power to get out of this school, go to the grammar in a new city where my reputation . DJ was arrested this year for online grooming an d sharing child pornography, and it honestly breaks my heart that its been going on for so long. maybe i should have said more, but who to? 

My time at school wasn’t all bad. And i had my first real positive experience with an older man. My english teacher once caught me unawares and I had a panic attack at being alone with a man-- he was gentle and kind, and worked with me to get to where i wanted to be grades-wise. he let me borrow his books and told me stories about his own son and i understood what real love meant, and it broke me that i’d never experienced it. 

My brother had grown so big now, and threatened my dad. if he ever lay another finger on one of us under our roof, my brother would kill him. my brother spent his childhood learning to fight, he’s in the runnings for the Olympics. My dad recognised the threat was real. And never hit me when my brother was home. However, when my brother wasn’t home... that was another story. my silence then was another kind of strength. I couldnt tell him the truth, because if he followed through on this threat, his life would be over. My dad got more sneaky, he would avoid my face, he’d grab my ankle and twist it so tight that it’s now forever fucked up. 

Despite all my fucked-up ness I did make it to grammar school, despite my parents not wanting me to go there. And im so glad i did. I finally had two years with minimal assault. My dad hurt me sometimes? The first night after my induction class because summer break, my dad took my prized hockey stick- one I’d worked long days to afford, and smashed it on my leg. I had to get crutches and didn’t leave my house for most of the summer, because I didn’t want to explain what happened. I couldn’t play my sport ever again properly. I lied to my friends and told them i was in my home country for the summer. i legit did not leave my house unless it was for doctors appts. 

 occasional nights he would be tired of me doing nothing but homework or making projects, or being loud. Alternately, he’d hate it when suddenly i became withdrawn and uncommunicative. when i physically couldn’t move etc. anyway turns out these were symptoms of my MI which wouldn’t be diagnosed for a long while, despite trying to find what was wrong with me from this point onwards.  but!!! for the most part! it was great! my school was in another city! i had freedom for a couple hours every day to do what i wanted! i made friends who embraced my weirdness! i had no reputation and i had my very own laptop finally so i could finally have some privacy!

too much privacy, i refused to give my mum my laptop password. hearing this, my dad threw my laptop down the stairs. 

i used what little money i had from part time jobs to fix it, but its something im resentful of to this day. my mum, in her eagerness to protect me, just let him hurt me again. 

anyway blah blah blah i moved to london and it was amazing i ran away i was free everything was going to change and i was finally going to be the person i always knew i was destined to be! chic and cosmopolitan and cool and confident and most importantly, safe, and comfortable, and in control. And I was. and then three weeks before halloween it happened again. i’d been away from home for two months now, and i’d started dabbling in harder drugs than weed, but that night i was not high. i was not in withdrawal. i was only drunk. i got raped again. this time, i did report it, but only because my housemates knew it had happened. i got rushed to A&E where they are legally required to call the police. the police took me to their HQ and i was interviewed. they arrested him. none of this was my choice, and my lack of silence led to a lack of control. I know ive been detailed already, but i wont go into detail about the rape kits they have and the questions i got asked and the journalists who dogged me and the nosy gossips who wanted to know the juicy deets. I don’t want to go into detail about how i realised I was a victim and was always going to be a victim, and i cant go into detail about the most recent abuses, not yet. All I know is i once thought i was in love with a boy called ‘T’, and what he did to me was worse because he made me believe this was all I could get and that I had to settle. He made me believe that him getting off on my trauma was love, instead of him picturing me as a child repeatedly brutalised by my male relatives. The moment I came to my senses and he was gone, I realised I was alone again. I failed my second year of uni, because the day before my final exam, my rapists wife found my house in london, idk how. She and her child begged me to help her husband’s appeal. I sympathised with her, she was a non-native with broken english looking after her kid. She reminded me of my mum. I told her for her chid’s sake and for her sake, I couldn’t. She cursed me and nothing has been the same since. actually, the lovely people of tumblr helped me raise the funds to complete summer school and carry on with my life. i now hold a masters degree. i remember each and every one of u who donated or signal boosted. i also remember my choice to keep his wife out of it, and not mention her. silence was golden. 

This year my rapist  was deported after raping another person when he was released for good behaviour. 

anyway. despite all of this magnitude of shit that has happened to me. despite my numerous addictions that im still working thru (im sorry if u knew me when i was nothing but a junkie. at 19/20 I was not a good person and anything I said that was thoughtful or provocative came from a bad place. I gave bad advice and abused my medication alongside brown and alcohol. My manic episodes got worse than I’ve ever experienced and usually led to me some very dark very scary places. I’m mostly better now but the last year has Been A Lot. I tried to kill myself twice. Once, I was saved by police, which is... embarrassing and I lied my ass off (and brandished the fact i was a MASTERS STUDENT OF LAW and they had entirely the wrong end of the stick) and another time, i was saved by chance. I am making so much progress tho. I’m proud of me. I’ve become more independent. I’m not afraid to speak out when I’m dissatisfied now. I know strength comes from knowing what you want and what you don’t want, not settling for the worst because unknown reactions in my imagination are worse than whatever reality has in store. 

im graduating from my masters next week. i feel as tho ive lost a lot of friends and people i cared about- all i can say is im sorry. i’m trying. but if i fuck up, its on me. if i speak too loudly and it hurts you, please tell me. if i dropped away, its because i had to work on me, and im sorry, and im ready to come back, if you’ll have me.  I’m really excited about the future, but im scared too. the last three months have been so hard and every day i feel like giving up again, but I won’t. there has to be a reason i survived all this, and im yet to find it, but i hope i will. im still going thru shit. my dad is still the worst. but i have a really lovely partner who is so so so patient with me- more than i deserve, im in touch with a doctor and a sleep therapist, my brother is looking out for me and im getting in touch with old friends, and im making new ones all the time. thank you for sticking by me, and sorry for the long read. i just had to get it out there you know? its my truth and the silence was killing more than anything else in this stupid story is. ive left lots of details out, but parts of my story interlink with others and other parts im still holding onto, i cant share everything online i think thats enough oversharing for a long long time. 

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

[hanji-is-life]

Please please please..Do Bakugou, kirisima, and Fan black reader are on Instagram live. The two boys are on live and their reading messages from their fans and Black reader requests to be on the live and they accept then she starts twerking for them or whatever. It’s been stuck in my head forever. 🙇🏽‍♀️

Omg I’m in love with this idea thank you so much for suggesting it bby!!!! 💕💕💕

I finally learned how to do a read more on mobile so it’s over for u bitches now 😌

CW: mentions of drinking and smoking

It was your final semester in college and you had finished all of your finals and projects a little earlier than most of your friends. To celebrate, you wanted to go out drinking and clubbing to celebrate all of your grades and finalization with school, but your friends were all still swamped.

So you found yourself smoking a lone blunt and sipping from a bottle of Hennessy you kept for special occasions. You were mostly dancing around you living room, music playing from your tv, as you prance around in your favorite pair of biker shorts and an old tee shirt.

By the time you wore yourself out, you get on your phone to see that your two favorite Pro Heroes were live! After taking a quick sip from your drink, you open up the live and see that the numbers of fans are quickly pouring in.

Dynamight and Red Riot were on screen in, both clad in a loose tank top and baggy t shirt, mumbling to themselves as they watch fans roll in. The comments were rolling, a never ending sea of ‘I love you’s and ‘you’re my favorite duo’ and many, many ‘I wanna suck the soul outta of your dick’s.

You were usually one of the ones who commented shit like that since they never really paid any mind to those comments. Every once in a while they’d respond back with an awkward chuckle, ask you guys to chill out and be a little more respectful.

Well, that was always Red Riot’s response. Dynamight would mainly yell for you all to stop or else he’d end the live. He usually just ended the live.

But you wanted to talk to them tonight! You were tired of just commenting thirsty shit in hopes of them at least acknowledging you to tell you to quit it.

So no, if you wanted to catch their attention, then you shouldn’t comment. Shouldn’t DM. No, you had to request to join the live.

Zooted and drunk you thought that was the best idea you’ve ever had. Taking another hit from you blunt, you nod to yourself, telling yourself that they have to notice you now.

Sending the request, you sit back and wait for them to accept. You close your eyes, taking another long drag of your blunt, body fully relaxed, when a gruff voice suddenly brings you to attention.

“I know your dumbass didn’t request to join our live to just sit there and smoke weed.”

Your eyes immediately pop open, hand shooting out to slam the blunt on the table as you try your best to hold the smoke in your mouth. It’s getting harder by the second, and Red Riot noticed with a laugh.

“Don’t listen to BakuBro! You can exhale, sweetheart, you’re in your own place!” His sweet grin makes you smile too, the smoke wafting through your teeth and nose as you laugh breathily.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t think you guys would really accept.” You chuckle, reaching over to take another sip of your drink. You can see both of their eyebrows raise from the screen of your phone, the comments rolling in with renewed vigor.

“You gettin’ fucked up for a good or bad reason? Shit, take it easy.” Bakugou grunts from the screen, eyes wide as he watches you take gulp after gulp of your drink. You snort, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as you can hear the songs still playing on your tv change.

“Good fuckin’ reason. I passed all my finals and I’m finna graduate from college!” You cheered, raising your glass again as you winked at the two of them. It was easier to pretend that there wasn’t thousands of people watching the three of you. It almost felt like it’s own personal FaceTime, if you ignored the comments calling you a drunk.

Not a drunk, you just knew how to have fun!

Red Riot cheered for you too, Dynamight only smirking as he rested his chin on his palm to watch you closer. He opened his mouth to speak when he suddenly snapped it close, harshly shushing Red Riot as he pressed his ear a little closer to the phone.

“Are you playing Rico Nasty right now?”

Oh shit, you hadn’t even heard the song change again. It was one of her newer songs “Pussy Poppin” and if you weren’t so high and drunk off of your ass right now, you’d be embarrassed by your next actions.

You scream out an affirmation, jumping up from the stool you sat on and turned the tv up from your remote. Completely forgetting about the audience you had on your phone that could still very well see you, you instantly turned around.

Hands on your knees, ass bouncing and shaking to the beat. You let one knee go to reach back and pick up the blunt, taking a deep inhale as you continue to bounce your ass like no tomorrow. You turn around as you blow out the smoke, a cheeky grin on your face as you see the shocked mirrored expressions from the two heroes.

Sliding back onto the stool, you take another hit, winking at them as you exhale the smoke. In a sudden flash, Dynamight yells and snatches the phone. You can hear and see a panicked amount of movements and screaming from the two men before the live ends abruptly.

Frowning, it only dappens your mood for a second before you shrug and go to text your friends about the awesome and slightly embarrassing situation. As you pick up your phone, you get a ding for a new notification and can’t help the cheeky grin that breaks your face.

Manliest_Hero_RR: Hi! Dynamight and I wanted to know if you could do those same moves for us again? But in private, on FaceTime? No pressure but. Wow. We have to see it again. Please?

While this wasn’t apart of the plans you had for tonight, it certainly made it all the more better.

[hangovercurse]

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete About vi

You and Colson grapple with being “just friends.”

Colson X Reader

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 1871

| i | ii | iii | iv | v |

masterlist

Hi friend

You were in the studio working on editing one of your songs when you got the text. You hated it, but you smiled automatically when his name popped onto your screen.

Hi friend

The past few days had been weird, but necessary. Colson ended up staying at Pete’s apartment the next night too, so you had plenty of time to figure out how “friends” worked. Unsurprisingly, you hated it. But it was the only way to keep Colson close to you, so you’d take it.

I’m bored

I thought you were friend?

Haha

But seriously you should entertain me

As friends

I’m in the studio rn

U can take a break

What would we do if I took a break?

You tried really hard not to flirt, but it came so naturally. But maybe if you convinced yourselves that you were just friends, it would happen. Because that’s how things work.

Lunch?

I’m hungry

I thought you were bored?

That joke is lame

:)

Will u pls go out to lunch with me

As friends

Hmmmmm

I suppose I could think about it

You sighed, saving the audio project and shutting the computer down. You hadn’t eaten all day and spending time with Colson wasn’t the worst way to spend your lunch break.

Y/N I will find you and drag you out of that studio

You don’t even know where I am

Where do you wanna go?

I could find out…

Whatever u want

Mediterranean? There’s a cute place right by me I’ve been wanting to check out.

You sent him the address, asking him to meet you in 10 minutes.

It’s a date

Wait

No

Not a date

Like I’ll see you then

You laughed as the texts came through your phone, shaking your head. You headed out of the building, walking towards the small restaurant. You weren’t exactly dressed in “lunch clothes,” because you had expected to stay in the studio all day, but you would survive.

You got in line at the blue painted restaurant, thankful that it wasn’t too long. You waited a few minutes before a familiar voice spoke from your side. “Now what’s a pretty girl like you doing all by herself?”

You smiled, turning to Colson. “Waiting for her friend to show up.”

He raised his eyebrows, a smirk on his face. “I hope your friend is as hot as you are.” He chuckled.

You rolled your eyes, “not even close.”

Luckily Colson understood you were joking and he laughed with you. “How have you been?” He asked, “did they catch the guy breaking into apartments?”

“I’ve been good, working.” You nodded, “yeah, they caught him. He broke into this police officer’s place while he was home.”

Colson huffed in amusement, “talk about bad luck.”

“Right? I mean, I’m glad they caught him but, I mean, what are the odds?” You moved forward in the line, reaching the hostess stand.

“Two please.” Colson asked, flashing the girl a smile. You bit your tongue to hide the scowl that almost instinctively came to your face.

The hostess was young and no doubt attractive. She batted her eyelashes towards the tall man, not even acknowledging you. “What’s the name?”

You furrowed your eyebrows as Colson answered, wondering why she would need his name if she was taking you to the table. “And what’s the number?” She asked sweetly. If you were drinking water you would have spit it out.

Colson blushed slightly as you stood in shock. “Um-I’m.” He looked at you as if to say “I’m here with someone” but then he must’ve realized that he wasn’t technically on a date. “You’re lovely, but I’m not interested.” He muttered out, an awkward look on his face.

You were trying your hardest not to look pissed off, because if you looked pissed off then the lie you and Colson have been telling each other about being just friends would be exposed.

The girl looked you over, eyes raking up and down you with a disgusted look on her face. You felt very self-conscious suddenly, your head turning towards the floor in embarrassment. Colson noticed and cleared his throat, “our table?”

The girl didn’t speak a word as she grabbed two menus and led you to the table. “Your waiter will be with you shortly.” She spit out, anger on her face. Your heart was beating very fast, but you couldn’t tell if it was from anger or sadness.

Colson eyed you from across the table as you played with the hair tie on your wrist. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You spoke too fast to convince him, your quiet demeanor also giving you away.

He sighed, his foot kicking yours lightly and pulling your focus up to him. “Okay, you just seem a little uncomfortable.”

You huffed, “yeah, well, having girls look at me like I’m the scum of the earth does that to a person.”

He frowned, “You know she has, like, nothing on you, right?”

A small blush found your cheeks, and you looked down at your hands again. “You can’t say stuff like that.” You muttered.

“What? Friends say that stuff to each other! I’m trying to make you feel better.” His smile told you he knew what he had done, but he didn’t care.

You sighed, “yeah but you can’t say that to me.”

Colson gaped dramatically, “why not?”

“Because it’s different coming from you.” You laughed. “Why didn’t you give her your number?” You asked, curious for his answer.

He shrugged, “wasn’t interested. Guess I have high expectations.”

You rolled your eyes, “it’s not because I’m here, right?”

Colson let out a sigh, “N-“

He started to speak but was interrupted by the waiter at your table, “Welcome to Shuka, my name is Oliver, I’ll be your server today. Can I get you guys started with something to drink?”

“I’ll get a water, please.” You said, smiling at the man. Colson raised an eyebrow at you. “I have to go back to work after this.”

He chuckled, scanning the menu, “can I get a Nitro?” Oliver nodded, sending you both smiles before heading back to the kitchen.

You sent Colson a look, expecting him to continue your previous conversation. Instead, he continued to read through the menu. “Do you know what you want? I’m thinking about the Shak-Shakshu-.” He tried to pronounce the name of the dish but was failing.

You giggled, finding the dish on the menu, “Shakshuka.” You told him, “and I haven’t even looked.” You scanned through the menu in your hands, reading the names of the various dishes. Colson took to studying you, a small smile on his face.

“It’s not because you’re here. It’s because I’m genuinely not interested in anyone else.” He said out of the blue. Confusion flashed across your face before you understood what he was referring to. You took in a breath, trying to figure out how to respond. “I know I shouldn’t tell you that, but I just think you needed to know.”

You smiled to yourself, “I don’t mind, I just- it makes it harder to convince myself this isn’t a date.”

Colson nodded, “this is not a date. We are just two friends having a friendly lunch. As friends.” He was trying to convince himself too.

“Right. Friendly friends. Two people who are just friends.” You said, exaggerating the word “friends”. Awkwardness hung in the air for a few moments before you both started laughing.

You fell into the familiar pattern of conversation that seemed to come naturally to you both. When your meals arrived, you were both very excited. “Can I try some of yours?” You asked, sending him the most convincing puppy dog eyes you could muster. He chuckled, placing some of the poached egg onto his fork and moving it towards you. You rolled your eyes at the cliché but smiled anyways, letting him feed you. Your eyes widened in shock “that’s so good!”

He nodded, swallowing his food. “My turn.” He said, reaching over and plucking up a falafel from your plate with his fork. Once he finished eating he smiled at you, “you have excellent taste. You’re picking the restaurants every time now.”

You raised an eyebrow, a sly smile on your face. “So we’re going to have more of these friend lunches?” You asked.

“Duh. We’re friends. This is what friends do.”

You giggled, “I don’t hear about you and Pete going out for lunch together.”

The man chuckled, eyes closing for a moment. “If it’ll make you feel better I’ll take Pete to lunch one of these days.” That made you giggle even harder, shaking your head.

 Neither of you finished your meals, packing them into to-go boxes to eat later. When Oliver brought the check over, you were very flustered. Colson automatically reached to pay but you grabbed his wrist, “we’re on separate checks.” You told the server. Oliver nodded, moving to fix it until Colson spoke up.

“I got it, it’s not a problem.” You sent him a look. “I asked you to lunch, I pay.”

“Friends let their friends pay for themselves.” You muttered, moving your hand from his wrist.

He rolled his eyes, “you can pay next time.” Smiling smugly, he handed his credit card to Oliver, who was very confused. “Relax. I’m just being nice.”

You sighed, pouting slightly. “It’s already hard enough and then you make it worse by flirting and paying and- ugh.” You cut yourself off, frustrated.

Colson clenched his jaw, letting out a hard breath through his nose. “I know, I’m sorry. This isn’t exactly easy for me either.” You nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed at your small outburst. “We can do this.” He said, confidently. If only you could feel as confident as he sounded.

Once Oliver came back with the card and receipts, you both left the restaurant. You hadn’t noticed the cameras as you walked down the street with Colson, the conversation returning to light banter and jokes, but they noticed you.

Colson walked you all the way back to the studio you were working at, insisting on going with you all the way inside. “I just wanna see where you work.” He claimed, but you insisted it was just like every other studio.

You got into the elevator to ride up to the fourth floor, where your space was. Colson stepped in with you, a smile on his face. You sighed, pressing the button and waiting for the elevator to close.

“Hey Y/N?” He spoke as the doors began to shut. You looked up to him, eyebrow raised in question. The doors closed and instead of responding, Colson leaned down, pressing his lips to yours.

You kissed him back, hands cupping his face. You heard the elevator beep as you passed the second floor, and then the third floor. He pulled away, smile on his face.

You took in a deep breath, “I thought you…”

“Fuck it.” He muttered, standing up straight. You smiled, biting your lip. “But we’re not hiding this from Pete. We’re just… testing the waters.”

You hummed in agreement as the elevator doors opened, stepping into the hallway and leading him to your studio.

[cats-rat]

motive - ch.1

authors note: okay so i know this is little late but i have had a bit of writers blocks so this chapter might not be as long as i hope it would but hopefully you all still like it. ps; thank u soooo much for the support on the teaser. pss; im soooo sorry for any grammatically or spelling errors as english is not my first language

pairing: professor!cat adams x reader x professor!spencer reid

warning: swearing, sexual tension, [eventual] smut 

                                                          -----

The mix of anticipation and fear plagued you all through the night and followed you to the morning. You had barely gotten any sleep, the thought of having to face both Cat and Spencer was not something you were ready to acknowledge. However, you knew it was an ordeal you would inevitably have to confront.

With hardly any energy, or effort, you timidly reached for your phone which was laid on your nightstand. It was silly honestly, the worst that could happen was maybe an awkward conversation about it all, or so you thought. As your phone lit up and you noticed the 40 missed calls from both Cat and Spencer, the idea that this would end without conflict slowly faded.

You unlocked your phone and hesitantly went to check your messages. Clicking on Cat's contact, you slowly read her messages, taking in every letter. one right after the other.

“y/n please answer.”

“we promise you aren’t in trouble and we’re not mad.”

“i know you’re probably sleeping but if you could just stop by my office after class, we just want to talk.”

Though you were still on edge, the thoughts in the back of your mind mellowed even if for a moment.

                                                        —–

It took what felt like a lifetime for you to get ready. The dressed yourself in a light blue short sleeved top and a plaid pleated skirt that revealed a bit of your thighs but was not as skimpy as the other outfits you’d worn before.

You put very little effort into doing your hair, just combing your normal products through with your fingers. Though you would normally do your makeup on a regular day, you opted out as to not draw attention to yourself.

With that you were out of your dorm and on your way around campus and to your first and only class of the day, criminal psychology. Typically, it was a class you excelled in and that’s originally what caught Spencer’s eye.

Most of the students taking his class were only doing so because they found him attractive, many lacked any real interest in the subject, but you did. And it was made clear in how hard you worked in his class. His attraction for you went beyond your physical appearance, he had a genuine appreciation for your intelligence.

You would normally sit directly up in the front but as you entered the classroom you tucked yourself in the back, likely to avoid any contact with Spencer for as long as possible.

                                                        —–

You sat for almost an hour, listening to Spencer ramble, his voice much more assertive than you remembered. As the rest of the students flocked out you slowly rose from your seat, clutching your bag before hearing Spencer’s voice call you.

“Ms.y/l/n, could you stay after for a minute.”

Nodding quietly you walked the short distance to face your professor, your eyes meeting the floor as you bit into your cheek. Spencer took in a deep breath before placing his warm hand on your shoulder.

“I know this might be awkward for you but Cat and I really just wanna talk about what happened.” He spoke with a softness in his voice that was comforting, comforting and familiar.

“Listen I had no idea Cat was your wife, if I had I wouldn't have pursued a relationship with her knowing I had a past with you.” You watched as he opened his mouth, as if he were getting ready to speak. Before he could you continued.

“Please, I know what I did was completely inappropriate and I promise to not do anything like this again just please do not tell the dean- please.”

You pleaded like a child who had overindulged in the cookie jar, it was kind of pathetic the way you begged for his sympathy as if he also wouldn’t be in deep shit if he told.

There was a moment of silence before another voice interjected. This one more melodic and sultry, you knew exactly who it was. She walked into the room, locking the door behind her, the sharp noise her black pumps made sending chills up your spine.

“y/n, we didn't call you here because you're in trouble. We have a proposition for you.” She inched closer before cornering you, leaving you stuck between both her and Spencer. Her soft fingers brushed your cheeks lightly.

“I think it's clear we both like you and that you like us.” Spencer’s hand ran down from your shoulder to grasp your hand, Cat gently caressed your forearm. “And we both know you've been struggling with tuition-”

With a look of shock you interrupted the woman’s sentence. “Wait so you want to pay my tuition and in return I would fuck you?”

“Not exactly, we wouldn't force you to anything you didn't want to, we just enjoy your company.” Spencer said, giving you a look of reassurance as Cat around you to position herself against your back, hands tracing around her neck as her lips neared your ear.

“But don’t act like you haven't thought about the two of us using you like the little whore you are.” The authoritativeness in her voice causing the wetness between your legs to grow.

“Is that what you want?” Spencer said, cupping your chin for you to face him, unable to escape his gaze. You nodded frantically, yearning for them to give you more of what you truly wanted.

Cats fingertips traced down your sides before moving to your side to lock elbows with you. “Good, now lets you home dove.”

fin.

                                                        -----

Taglist; @khiaraaa-in-spacee​   [let me know if you wanna added, i really hope yall liked this one, again sorry for any grammar/spelling errors.

[effervescentslut]

how you meet | edward cullen

A/N: wowowow after being on Tumblr for 6+ years I would have NEVER imagined my first published writing to this site being Twilight dnvjdfjaskdlmfkl enjoy!! requests are open :)) I will write for Twilight (mainly the Olympic Coven, except Jasper romantically), Star Wars, and Harry Potter

Pairing: Edward Cullen x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content Warnings: Reader gets unsolicited attention from teenage boys, swear words

when you moved to forks after spring break because of your dad’s work, you’re unanimously nicknamed new girl™ by all of forks high school’s students

and consequently, you’re the new eye candy for your male peers

Forks boys are, well . . . neanderthals douchebags

the ones you’ve met are egotistical, super immature, and super HORNY

. . . you decide to keep your distance

aNyWaYs

you get smooshed into ap u.s. history

apush, baby, apush HAAAAA

the teacher points you to an empty seat next to some pale blonde dude

he gives off weird kid energy at first but then he politely speaks to you

“i’m jasper. welcome to forks” and gives you an acknowledging nod

his eyes are topaz!!!?? woooooooah that’s so cool is that like a genetic defect or smth??

aaaaand your teacher immediately assigns a PROJECT

a fuckin civil war project

you swear you see jasper’s pupils dilate

you hear a chuckle from behind you

and when you turn around you see a pale dude w a dark brown buzzcut and some blonde girl smirking beside him

you later find out that those are his siblings

his fuckin goofy ass siblings

anyways a few weeks pass

you pop in at your dad’s job @ forks hospital and see him chatting w a fellow physician

yet another pale dude with blonde hair 

JESUS HOW FUCKING MANY ARE THERE

you approach them and your dad embraces you in a hug

“heeeeyyyy sweet pea! how’s it goin’!” 

the doctor he was talking to looks at you fondly

“hello, i’m carlisle cullen” and offers you his hand to shake, which you do

“y/n, carlisle was just inviting us to his house later tonight for some dinner”

dr. hotpants puts his hands in his pockets and humbly grins

“my son jasper tells me you’re his classmate”

oh god he’s one of those pta dads, isn’t he??

“oh, yeah, he’s my partner in history”

he smiles, “that’s wonderful. my wife esme and i would love to have you both over as our guests. it’s not often we have company for dinner. and i’m sure the rest of my children would love to meet you, y/n”

jesus christ how many kids does this guy have?? he looks THIRTY

don’t worry, in the car your dad tells you they’re all adopted lmfao

✰✰later that night✰✰

their house is HUGE jesus fuckin christ

alice knows (well they all know) about you because of jasper

IMMEDIATELY loves you!!

“hi! i’m alice!!!”

WHOLESOME AS FUCK UGH

i’m EVAPORATING. i’m YODELLING. it’s fine :-)

you thought you weren’t gonna make any pals in forks bc of the weird horny teenage specimens but here we are ;-;

alice envelopes you into a tight hug and you, in shock, grasp her arms to acknowledge this affection

your dad’s chillin near carlisle and esme and he’s silently chuckling

oh . . . they all have black eyes now?? must be the weather

or the fluorescence

you wave at jasper, rosalie, and emmett

you notice the last sibling

he’s very handsome

to you, everything about him was attractive

his soft hair contrasted against his hardened facial features

you could tell he was socially reserved when it comes to new acquaintances, just like you

he physically isolates himself from his family once you and your dad arrived

he was standing alone near a corner away from everyone else

you make eye contact with him and his mental barrier breaks down

he loses his cool

his face contorts

his lips twist into puckered lines

he claps his hand over his mouth and vacates the room immediately, running up the stairs

everyone notices his sudden departure

his family is shocked but tbh not really

✰✰✰ eddy boy is a lil shy around girls sometimes ✰✰✰

carlisle breaks the impending doom of silence

“i apologize for edward leaving us so abruptly. he hasn’t been feeling well as of late; please excuse his absence. . .”

you awkwardly pretend like that never happened

you feel it in your gut that your presence disturbed him

and not only did you disturb him

but you disturbed him so bad that he had to leave

for why?? you don’t know

you then realize that everyone else in the room knows he left bc of you

. . . anyway you all sit down at the table but you and your dad are the only ones who have plates

your dad notices this too

“hey, aren’t you guys gonna eat too?”

esme grins warmly at him

“oh, don’t worry about us. we just wanted to welcome you to town!”

uhhh, ok ma’am

alice talks to you for almost the entire time you were eating ;-; i love her

you’re also talking to jasper, cracking some apush jokes

you, jasper, emmett, and rosalie talk shit about your classmates and teacher

“why the fuck -- *carlisle glares at emmett* -- heck did mr. whatshisface give us a project RIGHT AFTER BREAK???!!”

“and he paired y/n and jasper!! they’re civil war  n e r d s!! they’re gonna get the best grade” rosalie chimes in

“not if we--”

alice  ❀politely❀  tells them to stfu

you giggle

bonding with your new pals <33

allllllright so it’s a few days later

you’re walking home from school

it’s drizzling, as always, but you know that it’s gonna rain harder if you don’t get home fast enough

and some asshole

some persistent prick from your class

keeps flirting with you

he’s talking about how he hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of you since you came to forks

he’s insisting he has your phone number, that he’s gonna take you out on dates. . .

you hate it

you’re so uncomfortable but you can’t really do anything about it

s u d d e n l y

a car pulls up beside where you and the guy are walking on the sidewalk and screeches to a stop

the window is rolled down and you see a familiar face

it’s edward cullen

with one hand on the wheel, he looks at both of you and clenches his jaw

“get in”

even though he was undeniably weird a few weeks ago, you concede

you never got to speak to him, but you knew that edward was trustworthy

you practically launch yourself into his silver volvo c30™

he shoots a stone-cold glare to the jackass on the sidewalk and drives away

honestly, it wouldn’t take much for anyone (not just a mind-reading vampire) to know how uncomfortable you are after what just happened with that guy

your body language is tense

your arms are crossed tightly

your body is pointed towards the passenger window as your knees touch the door

tears are welling up in your eyes

it would be mere seconds until you fully broke down

you’re embarrassed, to say the least

you’re embarrassed that you were put in a vulnerable situation, like a damsel in distress

and of all people, the handsome and mysterious guy--

the handsome and mysterious guy you began crushing on

--who feels seemingly indifferent towards you swept you off your feet and helped you when you needed someone

that made things even more embarrassing

and the tears started streaming down your heated cheeks

edward immediately sensed your unease (hmm wonder why, but also who wouldn’t sense it???)

he’s pissed. 

absolutely livid

that asshole had a  d e a t h w i s h

he knew you didn’t want to address your unsolicited encounter, so . . .

*awkwardly clears throat* “are you enjoying the weather?”

you choked

you did not expect him to ask that

nor did you expect him to talk at. all.

you smile through your tears and laugh

you can’t help but laugh

he’s just so awkward and cute

his half-baked plan of indirectly distracting you definitely worked

you started to excitedly talk about the rain and how much you love gloomy, cloudy days

. . . and then the elephant in the room

the inevitable first impression from a few days ago

“i’m sorry for my behavior from our first meeting. i wasn’t feeling well, and i wouldn’t have wanted for you or your father to be affected by my illness”

you’re a little skeptical at first

buuuuut you give him the benefit of the doubt and dismiss his apology

“that’s okay. it’s allergy season, anyway. i’m glad you’re feeling better”

you have no idea how bad i wanted to make a spanish flu joke right there

a small, soft smile lifts the corners of his lips “i’m edward cullen”

you look at him and return the smile

t h e  t e a s i n g  e n e r g y

“i’m y/n”

the car approaches your house after time seems to have flown by

your dad looks at you both as he walks to his car to go to work

he waves at edward

edward smiles and waves back at him as he enters the car

you gratefully thank edward for the ride, careful not to dwell on the prior circumstances

as you open the passenger door, edward grabs your wrist

!!he grabs your wrist!!

he insists on being your ride to and from school from now on

you object and exit the car

but

b u t

edward smirks, leaning towards the open door

“i’ll see you in the morning, y/n” 

your jaw drops

and then he closes the door and speeds off

you watch him drive away and your heartbeat becomes arrhythmic 

a garden of butterflies is unleashed in your stomach

blood rushes to your cheeks once more

you smile to yourself before heading inside

secretly anticipating tomorrow morning :’)

[nagisa-shiota-worthy-shit]

hihi could u maybe do something with karmagisa + transguy nagisa please if u have time..? love ur stuff, thank u (´ε｀ )

Absolutely, yes, I love this. I always get a little nervous writing about trans Nagisa, but it's just such a valid HC and I'm- I myself don't have gender struggles so I don't want to write about that, specifically. So! I wrote something I recognized myself doing when I was in high school: the fear of carrying around pride flags.

This is also the "gay Karma" post btw.

I hope you enjoy this!

------------------------------------------

Flags to be Proud of

(wordcount: 1164)

The sight of Karma Akabane walking through his front door with a rainbow flag over his shoulder was a little surprising to Nagisa. Sure, he was all too aware of how much his boyfriend loved flaunting around his sexuality, and he admired how open he was about that stuff, but it felt a little visually over the top. And it was concerning. Even if Hiromi Shiota knew about his and Karma’s relationship, she was less than approving of it.

The fact that Nagisa had a boyfriend, rather than a girlfriend, wasn’t the issue for her, however.

Luckily, his mother wasn’t home at that very minute, so it wasn’t like she would be seeing the walking festival that was Karma Akabane. So, he ended up awkwardly smiling at the sight, still a little at loss for words. Was he even supposed to say anything? If he was, Karma should probably be aware that it wouldn’t be happening.

Luckily, Karma spoke up. “You have to admit, I look good in rainbow.”

Nagisa raised an eyebrow at him. The rest of his outfit was pretty casual, normal Karma stuff. It involved a lot of black and not really any prints. The only really colourful thing about him was his bright red hair. Really, there wasn’t anything rainbow other than the flag. Nagisa didn’t think that counted as being ‘in rainbow.’

“isn’t there a more specific gay flag?” Nagisa questioned, not answering Karma’s question. “the green and blue one?”

“Technically, yes,” Karma answered. “But these colours fit me better and they’re general pride anyways.”

They made their way towards the living room, which was as eerily empty and clean as it usually was. Once they sat down, the smile on Karma’s face seemed to curl up even further, presenting an even more ominous and devilish look on his face. Some instinct told Nagisa to fear it, but the logical part of his brain reasoned with him that this wasn’t the truly evil smile Karma showed at times. Rather, this was a prideful, excited look. Karma just had a certain air around him most of the time.

Karma rummaged through his bag while Nagisa curiously watched his actions. Eventually, he fished something out and the sound of crinkling plastic could be heard throughout the room. Without a second warning, something was shoved into Nagisa’s hands, and a soft “tadaa” came from Karma.

Nagisa looked at the package in his hands. Through the see-through plastic layer, he could see pastel coloured fabric. There was blue, pink, and when he turned it around he saw white, too. The item was folded up. It took him a moment to realize what it was.

“I got you a flag as well,” Karma announced, waiting for Nagisa’s reaction.

That reaction hadn’t come yet. It didn’t appear to be coming. It was a little awkward how long it was taking for the reaction to come. Karma’s confused impatience was easy to read. He just kept eyeing the flag and shooting glances at his boyfriend’s face, waiting for something. When that didn’t come, he filled the silence in the air with his own voice.

“I got you the trans flag,” He explained, Nagisa noted that his talking speed was rather fast for his doing, “I mean I could have gotten one for your sexuality, but I figured, you know, you’re trans and… yes, you know. It’s, like, a way to show your pride, because this is who you are.”

Nagisa looked at the packaged flag in his hand once more, moving it slightly and causing the plastic to make its sound again. He tried to look happy, he really did, but something was gnawing at his insides. It was a feeling he knew. However, it wasn’t a feeling he thought he was supposed to feel at that moment, not while his boyfriend was still smiling at him. Karma must have noticed his lack of enthusiasm, because he spoke up again, more careful this time.

“Are you… not a fan of flags...or?”

“No, no!” Nagisa shook his head quickly, “I mean I don’t want to sound ungrateful, I-I just-”

The rest of that sentence never came. They just sat there staring at each other, with Nagisa feeling immensely bad. He’d ruined the moment. Karma was just trying to do something nice for him, and he ruined it. What a great boyfriend he was.

He moved his hands, all too aware of the flag still in his hands. It felt cold, yet also very hot at the same time. His cheeks were feeling kind of hot too. Most likely, he was rather red in the face at that moment.

“You know you can tell me if something’s up, right?” Karma’s voice sounded a lot softer now.

He analyzed the look on Karma’s face. It looked soft, too, as far as Karma was capable of soft. It appeared like he was genuinely trying. The attempt made Nagisa smile a little, because his boyfriend did make him very happy, however, that smile disappeared within a second when his mind returned to the situation. Once again, that feeling was taking over.

Fear.

The flag scared him. The openness of carrying around his gender identity like that made him afraid. People weren’t always the most accepting when they found out Nagisa was trans. He wasn’t born in a male’s body. He’d learned to ignore most of the hate he’d get because of it. With time he’d found out he’d much rather be around the people who loved and accepted him for who he was than try to please people who will never be happy with him. He didn’t need to like the people who wanted him to change.

Carrying a flag like that, it felt like asking for attention. It felt like inviting more people to question his gender, as if he didn’t need to deal with that on the daily already. He wanted to be proud and show who he really was, however, the thought alone of his mother finding the flag brought him down instantly. There was no saying how she’d react to the piece of fabric. He’d have to hide it every time she was in the house, and hope she wouldn’t go through his stuff. There was enough fear around the idea of her finding his binder.

“I’m not sure if I’m ready to be loud and proud about it,” Nagisa heard himself whisper, “I know who I am and I- no one can stop that but-”

Karma grabbed his hands. It wasn’t a strong grip, but it felt caring and sincere. Nagisa looked up at him. He’d moved close to him, making sure to keep eye contact, making Nagisa feel acknowledged, somehow only now sure that this was all about him, for him. The look in Karma’s eyes was now determined, and the next words he spoke fit that feeling very well.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready, I’ll just be proud of you for you.”

[eonghwa]

ahh i really would love to read halahala!sh being soft or protective of reader, maybe someone hurts reader and he goes nuts

halahala!sh being soft with reader

requested by 🌷 anon ♡ ty

a/n: i didn’t want this to be too angsty so i apologize for the lack of context also i’m sorry if that’s not what you had in mind ㅠㅠ – i came to the conclusion that i just struggle A LOT writing about him no matter the genre so please let’s just pretend this is not lame. 

halahala!sh profile

cw: gn!reader. slight angst, mention of injuries (reader is clumsy), FLUFF

you had a pretty bad day at work, the argument with one of your friends about some silly stuff not helping at all with your mood and it didn’t help either when you slid on your way home bumping your hand on a sharp edge. hand that was now hurting like crazy. 

so when you get home you just slump on a chair exhausted, letting your mind get the best of you. overthinking and indulging in things that, you know, won’t do you any good. 

halahala sees you deep in thoughts looking down with a sad expression, you don’t hear him entering the room and don’t acknowledge him and this is what concerns him the most since you usually are very attentive. you always greet him no matter his indifference, no matter how many times he ignored you. he hates himself for his lack of sympathy towards you and he hates not being able to be more friendly with you, blaming himself every time he comes off as rude. he sees the hurt in your eyes every single time, even though you try your best to hide it, he knows and he despises himself for it. 

he really wishes he could be more open like the others who have no problem in making you smile or even laugh. you rarely look at him like that and this pains him a lot more than it should. he cares about you but sometimes he fears hatred is truly the only thing he knows and the only thing he’s capable of.

he keeps staring at you from the door in silence trying to muster his courage to approach you. his eyes are trained on you so he notices how you squeeze your eyes shut in pain and when he lowers his gaze he finally notices your wounded hand.

hovering at the door for one last second before his feet move towards you, startling you when he stops right before you but you don’t say anything too dumbfounded to do anything. you just watch him puzzled, your heart speeding up in your chest as he kneels in front of you. he takes a deep breath and hesitantly takes off his gloves. his gaze was always intense and piercing but he never looked at you with such… care?   

you gulp as he moves his hands closer to yours, when he’s just an inch away he wavers. he’s scared and wants to run away from you and from himself, from this fool crouched at your feet, but he’s too caught up in his stupid feelings to back out now. he grabs your palm letting out an almost inaudible exhale and you feel his hands slightly trembling but his grip is firm. 

he checks the injury clearing his throat as he gently rubs the bruised skin “are u okay?” the unfamiliar kindness in his voice startling you again, not used to seeing him this vulnerable. you nod a bit flustered “y-yes.” you mumble suddenly very aware of his probing eyes “i fell and bumped my hand. it’s nothing.” he looks at you skeptical “you were crying.” he states with a cold voice but excuses himself when he realize how harsh he sounded “i mean i saw you... you look sad.“ he says again stuttering, and you have to hide the tiny smile trying to creep up. he’s still gently holding your hand brushing ever so slightly his fingers in soothing motions. 

“i just had a bad day, it’s fine.” your gloomy tone giving away your lie and you both know that but he understands and doesn’t press you any further. he keeps staring at you trying so hard to find something else he can say to lighten up the mood. he curses at himself for being so awkward and helpless. 

he hates hearing his own voice and he’s not much of a talker either but right now he would do anything to be with you and help you so he just stand up and pulls you in, dragging you into the bathroom. 

he rummages through the cabinet looking for something to clean your wound. you tentatively strike up a conversation, saying anything just to break the ice and he catches up after a while, you swear at some point you even heard him laugh at something you said. eventually you end up telling him about your day and getting it out of your chest helps you relieve some stress. he may not be the best at comforting people but you know he’s listening, taking in every word you say, engrossed and eager to learn something more about you, and for you that’s enough.

he bandages your hand and leaves a light kiss on the still exposed skin looking at you with a genuine smile now that he loosened a bit and you blush. “cute” he mutters to himself chuckling, making you blush even harder. but it feels nice to finally see him truly smiling as his eyes light up. 

halahala places a hand on your back and clears his throat “you… wanna lay down with me?” he stutters almost cringing at himself for asking such sappy things, something he never thought he would say, you raise an eyebrow at him teasingly and this time he is the one flustered.

now that you’re in his room and you’re making yourself comfortable on his bed he feels uneasy, suddenly very aware of what is about to happen, how your bodies will be touching, warm and vulnerable next to each other. it’s not like it’s the first time given the many times he had sex with you but this is nothing like that and he’s not sure he can do it. 

eventually he climbs on the bed next to you. he still feels nervous but he wants to at least try. at first it’s awkward, he doesn’t know what he is supposed to do, fidgeting as he tries to find a somewhat comfortable position. everything feels wrong to him. “ah fuck it– i should just go” he burst out as he stands up. 

you look at him with a fond smiles and he can’t help it but return it starting to profusely apologize for his coldness and for being a hopeless fool but you interrupt him. “you know, we don’t have to touch if that makes you feel uncomfortable” you speak searching for his eyes to reassure him but his gaze lowers down avoiding your eyes, disappointed at himself for letting you down. “being next to each other is enough.” you pull him down by his shirt and he lets you, staring at you in awe. 

you end up staying together in bed for a long time, his fingers brushing lightly against yours way too often for it to be accidental. your heart feeling somewhat full just as much as his, being with each other like this for the first time basking in each other’s company. him not quite familiar with this bubbly feeling inside but feeling content nonetheless with your unusual way of cuddling. 

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋ ː into the #seonghwa-verse — intro + masterlist ː