#highkey if you ever posted that fanfic

[lover-of-mine]

Fuck it Friday!

I was tagged by @prince-buck-diaz and @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy thank you!!!! Here's another snippet of the trauma fic 🫶 because it's the only doc I looked at this week aoskaoskoaksas

"Thank you," Eddie says because he doesn't know what else to say and right now, he feels like he doesn't say it enough.  "For what?" Buck asks with a chuckle. "For trying to come and get me. For actually coming and getting me." Which time? Eddie is not sure, he feels like Buck has been catching him ever since they met. He's been there even before Eddie fully allowed himself to trust someone else. Steady and caring and constant.  "Always," Buck says, voice earnest and serious all of the sudden.  And Eddie knows.  It messes with his head sometimes. He knows Buck will always come. He's proven that so many times. Eddie is sure Buck doesn't even realize just how many times he saved him. And in how many ways. All the times he did it since day one.  Maybe not day one. He doesn’t really think about the one shift Buck hated him for no apparent reason. He now knows why. Knows him enough to know that Buck was scared of being replaced and acting up. But he never thought to hold it against him. Even while it was happening it was more entertaining than anything, to watch as he tried to prove himself.  And, God, did he. 

It's past midnight here, so it's no longer Friday here so I'm not gonna tag anyone, but this is fun.

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

BACK TO THE NIGHTMARES

Pairing - Jonathan Crane x Robin!fem!reader

Summary - Even though you go under the alias of Robin whilst fighting crime in Gotham. Your past catches up to you with a certain Doctor that always had a fascination for you.

Warnings - noncon!, violence, dead dove do not eat, rough sex, abuse physical and mentally, bondage.

Word count - 6.3k+

Notes - This was actually the first Cillian fanfic I wrote ages ago and idk highkey just posting it for the lolz.

The name Jonathan Crane was an open wound to you. No matter how much you would try to cover it, it would bleed back open without you noticing. 

You were an orphan at the age of 16. Your family’s tragic death broke you completely, it led to a life of deviance and crime in Gotham City. Your father had you trained in martial arts from an early age, so it benefited your unlawful acts of theft and robbery. However, you would only steal from the greedy. 

You first met Doctor Jonathan Crane when you were hardly an adult. You were arrested for robbing some rich asshole that scammed all of his workers. If only you weren’t so determined to beat the crap out of him you would have gotten away. Your lawyer told you to take the insanity plea, a major reduction of time locked away convinced you to agree with your lawyer. Worst mistake ever. You could tell he wasn’t right in the head as soon as you saw him, despite his charming face. 

When he put on the mask, your worst nightmares came to life. 

It felt like years, being under him as an experiment (even though it was only a couple of months). You fascinated him. He spent a lot of time with you at Arkham. He would tell you how you were his favorite little experiment and that he treated you so much nicer than the others. As if that was a compliment. It was dehumanizing, how he tortured you with your worst fears. To the point that he was your worst fear. You were able to fight back at him a couple of times, get a few good hits in. Despite the consequences, you didn’t regret it. 

Thankfully, The Batman saved you. Bruce heard of your story and felt sympathy for you. You never knew how ballistic Jonathan went when he got the call that you had escaped. And how he swore one day you would be underneath him again. 

Bruce wanted to help you, he felt your pain and struggles. It took you a while, but you agreed, under the hidden agenda that you would use your training to kill Jonathan. He trained you, physically and logically. Also helped you heal, enough to keep Jonathan out of your mind for most of the day. You eventually became Robin. Suit and all. 

When you thought you were ready, you snuck out of the manor. Your mind set on killing Doctor Jonathan Crane. You waited outside by the outside alleyway of Arkham, ready to pounce as soon as you saw him. When he was descending the stairs, you bolted to him. You swiftly pushed him down to the ground and hell broke loose. Punch after punch, kick after kick. You wanted him to suffer, just as he made you suffer. Jonathan tried to defend himself but couldn’t. You straddled him, the street lamp illuminated Jonathan’s eyes wide with fear, you somehow felt guilt. But you pushed that feeling aside, ready to use the final blow. 

But The Batman interfered. He pulled you off of him, a tight grip around your waist, and in a second, Jonathan was shrinking under you. The both of you landed on an exterior landing staircase and he reattached the batclaw to his belt. You shoved Bruce viciously and hissed. 

Bruce shook his head to you, as if you were a child. “I’m disappointed in you” he scolded. 

“Fuck off Bruce!” you growled. 

“I did not train you to become an executioner” he continued. “You do not decide who lives and dies” Bruce stated, leaning on the railing. 

“We both know I’m not the only person he tortured! It would be a mercy kill for the city of Gotham. You know he doesn’t deserve to live” you scoffed. You both had your points. You huffed and looked back down, he was gone. Bruce placed his hands on your shoulders, comforting you. 

“His day will come, we just need to wait for the right moment. Trust me” he reassured. 

And his day did come. Jonathan was arrested for numerous charges after his toxin exposure into the water system. You were free. Or so you thought. He disappeared after the League of Shadows incident. Bruce said he would never dare to return. You thought the same. 

Over the years, you assisted Bruce on missions, both with an agreeing mindset of making Gotham better. Your name became popular in the public eye, Batman and Robin. The vigilante’s sidekick in Gotham crime. You became obsessed with bringing criminals to justice. Sometimes you’d stay up for hours, listening to police radios waiting for something worth your time. Honestly anything was worth your time. But Bruce told you that you have to draw a line. 

Bruce was out of the country. Something had come up elsewhere, you asked to join but he gave a sly grin and said “someone has to protect Gotham”. 

Here you were again, sitting on the rooftop, the moonlight shining on you. Your feet dangled as you watched the moon, a police radio sitting next to you as you waited. You couldn’t sleep much anyways, the nightmares still couldn’t go away. That’s when it caught your eye, the Bat-Signal in the sky. You stood up immediately. Bruce forbids you from going alone. But he wasn't here, he wasn’t even in the country. This was a gray area in your agreement. Oh well, it’s probably something stupid anyways. 

You were quickly dressed and sped to the building. Adrenaline rushed through your blood. You were up there in no time. But by the time you were sneaking up to the rooftop, the light was turned off. You could hear Commissioner Gordon, yabbering about how some deviant must have snuck up to turn it on as a practical joke. You listened to him close the heavy door and sighed, climbing onto the rooftop regardless. Disappointment filled you as you sat on the ledge, overlooking Gotham. 

“What’s got you down, little one?” that familiar, terrifying voice captured your attention. Chills ran down your spine and your chest tightened. You spun around up onto your feet to see him. Jonathan Crane. Your heart raced. He was wearing his mask, he stood tall with his hands behind his back. He loved to call you little one, even after all of this time. 

“Scarecrow” you snarled, bracing for a fight. But you had to remind yourself what Bruce taught you. You also had to force your nerves to the side. 

He said your name. “You know me better than that” he said enthusiastically. Your face dropped. He couldn’t know it was you. How could he know it was you! He laughed at your frozen state. “Even though you beat me bloody that night, eyes never change” he explained, you could sense the grin on his lips. 

“So this was your plan? You want a repeat then?” you laughed, brushing off your nerves. Fists formed and jaw clenched as you waited for his move. 

“Not exactly, The Batman isn’t here to save you this time. In Prague the news broadcast shows” he mentioned, mocking ‘The Batman’.

It was impossible not to laugh. Who did he think he was?

Your feelings got the better of you. The actions of neutral good left you, your judgment clouded by your locked away anger towards this man. He was to die at your hands at this very moment, he didn’t deserve to live. Pure evil doesn’t get to walk free.  

“I’m going to enjoy this” you gritted your teeth. 

With a flash, you charged towards him and tackled him to the ground. You straddled him, ready to knock his teeth out but noticed his arm raise towards you. With a swift movement, you grab his arm and rip the fear toxic from out of his sleeve. Fuck this guy, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. You ripped off his mask and aimed the canister towards his face and released the gas. 

You breathed in the substance instantly and it blurred your sight. He tricked you. You jumped off of him and coughed intensely. The effects from the substance got to work immediately. Jonathan looked terrifying, your heart raced, body shock and anxiety felt heavy on your chest. No, you still had to fight. You yelled in anger and fear as you threw a punch at him, heart pounding in your chest and mouth hanging open. But your reflexes slowed down so much. He dodged you, effortlessly. Another attempt failed, again and again. Jonathan shoved you to the floor and you fell onto your back. His shoe pressed into your chest, keeping you down. 

“Stop, you’re wasting your energy” his voice sounded demonic. You still tried to fight him off. With a huff, Jonathan bent down and mounted you. You screamed at how close he was, there was no hallucination to his appearance. He looked exactly how you remembered and it haunted you. It was pointless trying to hide the fear he brings upon you in this state. His eyes were dark and expression was blank as his hands tugged onto your loose hair. “There, there, little one. You’re safe with me. You have nothing to fear” he cooed at you with a wicked grin as he pressed his crotch into you. 

You were frozen underneath him, you tried to move but couldn’t. Was this a newly developed substance? Or was your body in shock because of him. Your body trembled and you just wanted to call out for Bruce. With all of your strength, you hand slipped to your belt, searching for the distress beacon. Your actions went noticed by Jonathan and he smacked your hand away. He laughed as he picked up the device and threw it to the side. 

“What did I say again? The Batman isn’t here to save you this time” he mocked, his hands feeling up your body animalistically. He ordered you to sleep and for some reason you did. Falling from one nightmare to another. 

You groaned, your head was aching, but your thoughts were softened with the feeling of fuzziness. The fear toxin had worn off. Your lips were cracked dry as your head rolled from side to side. Your eyes peaked open, you lightly hissed at the bright light piercing above you. Slowly, your eyes became fully wide. You took in a deep breath as you analyzed your unfamiliar surroundings. Everything was white. The walls, counter, floor, exam table and the medical bed you laid on. You harshly blinked as you looked down at your body. A loud, uneased breath echoed throughout the silent room as you stared at yourself. You were wearing a white patient gown and your wrists and ankles were restrained to the bed. 

“You’re awake, finally” the dark voice traveled to your ears from behind. It sent shivers down your spine, knowing who it was immediately, Jonathan Crane. You took into note how his appearance has changed a bit. Just his hair cut shorter and he looked a bit older. If you saw him as a stranger on the street you would think him to be charming. He took slow steps towards you, raising the fear on your cold skin with him approaching you. His hand rested on your shoulder, almost as if to comfort you. “Now the fun can begin” the words slithered off of his tongue. You lied there frozen. Completely clueless of what was about to occur. He sat on the stool beside you and watched you like a hawk. “I had to strip you immediately you know, The Batman had a tracking device on your suit. He must really not trust you. You’ve always made dumb decisions, remember?” he chuckled, speaking casually to you. 

Anger consumed you, you struggled against the restraints and then you froze from the realization of how easy your inner thighs rubbed together. You looked down at your body, and saw your hardened nipples from the cool room poke through the thin cotton. You could feel your body prepare itself to hyperventilate. “You’re going to-” you gasped as you couldn’t finish your sentence, tears flooding your eyes. 

“No no no” Jonathan soothed, leaning closer to you. His fingers interlocked with yours. “You’re going to want me to fuck you, sweetheart” he flashed a smile. It looked pure at first glance, but the longer you stared, the quicker the evil painted over. 

“Help!” you screamed over and over again. Jonathan couldn’t help but to roll his eyes. God you were still such a fucking whiny bitch. 

Robin was gone, now you were just the broken girl that fell into his hands all of those years ago. It was shocking to see how easily broken you’ve gotten. All of this training and skills for what? You should stand strong, just take it, show no fear and pain. But you were just a girl. 

“No point in screaming. We’re not at Arkham. We��re very far away from Gotham” he sighed, looking up to the ceiling briefly. He yanked a dry cloth from the exam table and stood up. 

“Please Jonathan-” you yelped as he viciously gripped your chin and pulled your face closer to him. 

“Doctor Crane to you” he spat. But he didn’t loosen his iron grip. Your eyes were wide as he stared at you with anger. How dare you. You were not equals. You tried to nod your head against his iron grip. Once he let go you took a large gasp.

He leaned over you and forcefully shoved the cloth into your mouth. You cried, your eyes pleading with him as if it would actually make a difference. He admired the sight below him. “Look at you my sweet, all bound up” he commented, his hand trailing across your collarbones. “You thought you were fucking better than me, smarter, stronger. You dumb fucking whore. Don’t worry, I’ll show you your place. Right under me, figuratively and literally” he explained, the back of his cold hand raised to your flustered cheek. “I’m going to fix you” he said quietly. 

Your eyes didn’t follow him. You couldn’t dare to look at him. Jonathan sat back on the stool. He looked back up to you, noticing the tears slipping down your cheeks. “Oh don’t cry. You wanted to bring me down too. I just acted sharper than you. You let your emotions cloud your judgment, you only have yourself to blame” he elucidated.

He had a point. You were taught better. But you chose to react the way you did. Nevertheless, you didn’t deserve to be in this situation. 

He’s waited so long for this moment. The patience this man has had for this moment. It was all worth it. Now he has the power to break you down mentally and physically. You muffled into the rag, trying to plead with him. 

“I care about you” he randomly admitted. “Even after all this time” he mumbled slightly. It shocked you, this monster having feelings for someone other than himself? Impossible. “More importantly I care about how you feel about me” he added, leaning closer to your face. “So, I’m going to please you to show you just how much I care about you” he grinned, his hand tapping your cheek. 

You knew exactly what that meant. You aggressively thrashed your body. This couldn’t be happening, you needed to get out of here, out of these restraints. Your muffled cries echoed throughout the room. The breakdown quickly unfolded when you realized it was pointless. Your eyes squinted shut, this had to be a dream, a nightmare. You needed to remain calm, what he said was true. Your judgment was clouded by your emotions. What would Bruce do? Fuck, as if he would ever end up in a situation like this.  

You were too focused on your attempts to control your breathing to realize that your ankle restraints had been uncuffed. Jonathan pushed your ankles up, bringing your knees up closer to your chest. He reattached the restraints to a closer pole, keeping your knees at a 155 degree bend. Your gown rode up to your hips, exposing your bare pussy. That’s when you realized what he had done. Jonathan walked over to the counter, opened a draw and retrieved a pair of silver scissors. He looked back at you and gave you a wicked grin. Your head shook excessively, as if it would change anything. 

“I’ve wanted to do this since I met you. I regret not fucking you in Arkham. I was just such a workaholic I didn’t want my urges to get in the way. I thought of it as unprofessional. But I’ve become open to exploring new methods” he said slowly as he approached you. You resisted, knowing it was pointless but it was natural reflexes regardless. He towered over you, briefly admiring you before cutting the gown straight down the middle. You cried out as the last inch was snipped apart. Jonathan grinned as his large hands traveled all over your heated body. “I jerked off to you after every session” he admitted proudly, playing with your plump tits. He pushed the cut gown to the sides of your body, you were completely exposed to him, mentally and physically. “I’m going to eat your cunt out now baby” he told you with a smirk. The low tone terrified you. 

He stood directly in front of you, his body leaned over onto the end of the bed. He crawled up high enough for his upper body to easily lay on the bed. “God, you’re fucking dripping!” he exclaimed as he examined your wet region. “Is this all because of me, my sweetness?” he taunted. You refused to give him any pleasure by responding. But he was too focused on the sight of your sweet spot anyways. 

Jonathan examined your cunt. His fingers stroked your folds. You whined, shaking your restricted body in an attempt to get him to back off. He harshly smacked your pussy and you cried into the cloth. “Stop resisting” he growled, his long fingers returning to their playful manner. 

You didn’t like this, at all. However, from his touch you couldn’t help but to feel weakened. Your knees felt like jelly. The further his strokes went, the heavier your breathing got. You didn’t notice your hips flex forward to Jonathan, back arching. He grinned at your sexual response to his touch. You liked this, he knew you did. One finger slipped inside of you, causing you to groan painfully. Fuck, you were tight. Pristine tight. You cried as he finger curled inside of you. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked up to you, realization glowed in his eyes. 

“Oh my” he breathed out as he analyzed your expression. He slid another finger inside of you to confirm his theory, you were a sobbing mess from this. “Oh my!” he exclaimed as he pulled his fingers out. He climbed on top of you and grabbed onto your jawline. “Did you forget to tell me something very important darling?” he questioned you, a wicked smirk on his cold lips. Your eyes swelled up, this was so humiliating. You kept your eyes low and he harshly tapped his fingers onto your cheek until you looked up to him. “Have you ever been touched? Fucked?” His dark eyes demanded an answer, his hands loosened enough for you to lower your jaw. He forgot about the cloth in your mouth from excitement. 

You could always lie, but he knew when you were lying. You shook your head, still in his grip.

“Not even by yourself?”

Another shake of the head. 

A dark laugh echoed through the room. “Fuck, do you know how arousing that sounds? Too busy fighting crime to get dicked down. No wonder you’re such a stuck up cunt hm?” he chuckled, caressing your heated cheeks.

Jonathan’s words were too overwhelming. So you just cried, face still in his grip. He comforted you by petting your cheeks and brushing your hair to the side. He couldn’t help but to feel irritated by this information as well. A sudden urge to make love to you rather than to fuck you. No, you’ll like the way he fucks you. There is no choice in the matter. When your cries became minimized he slid back down your exposed body.

“You’re going to taste so fucking devine” he commented, stroking your gushing region once more. “Your body will be so delicate to my touch. I can’t wait to explore all of these new experiences with you. If you are good and embrace my touch I’ll take it easy with you. If not, I’ll make you scream. Not in a good way” Jonathan explained as he gripped onto your outer thighs. 

You whined at the first lick, eyes rolling back as your head dug back into the bed. Jonathan quietly moaned at your sweet taste. It was everything he dreamed of and more. His lips attacked your cunt as his tongue slipped inside of you. A scream of pleasure escaped your mouth. It was humiliating, enjoying pleasure from this evil man. You harshly bit onto the cloth to avoid another muffled moan satisfying his ears. It was amazing with how quickly your orgasm was building, it had only been a couple of minutes. Your legs began to tremble and fists formed. Jonathan’s nose pressed against your clit as he viciously ate you out as if he hadden eating all day. 

He pulled his mouth away, but quickly replaced your tender cunt with the touch of his digits. Two fingers easily slipped inside of you. Muffled cries snuck out. But the deeper his fingers went inside of you, the harder it was to hide your moans. 

“You’re so close to coming already. Making me feel a bit pompous honestly” he chuckled.

You couldn’t help yourself when his fingers reached your g-spot. It felt magnificent, your warm walls squeezing around fingers. He slid in four digits, causing an awful cry of pleasure mixed with pain. You were climaxing in the worst way. Jonathan’s expression looked crazed, like he was a wild animal teasing his prey. It was a surprise that he hadn’t creamed in his pants already. You rode out your very first orgasm on his filthy fingers. Your hips naturally rocked on his fingers back and forward as you became undone. 

You felt like you were going to pass out. Nostrils flared as your body fell back into the bed, it was so fucking hard to breathe. It went unpassed as he untied all of your restraints. Your eyes squeezed shut from exhaustion and embarrassment. You rejected the thoughts of you enjoying the assault, enjoying Jonathan’s touch. 

Your bloodshot eyes opened again when you felt Jonathan climb on top of you. His covered erection poked your thigh as he watched your manner. But his eyes locked onto your gagged mouth. He gently pulled the cloth out of your mouth. You gasped for air, chest raised. 

“Hm, I’ve kissed your pussy before your mouth” he grinned. It was a foul joke. It made you physically gag which he didn’t like at all. He ordered you to kiss him. 

You whimpered at the pain of your sore jaw. But he was gentle with you, his tongue slipped in and lower lip massaged yours. It felt nice, relaxing to feel his touch in this manner. He caressed your breasts as his lips nipped your neck. You let out a soft moan and pressed your body against his, arms wrapped around his upper back. It felt like bliss, the comforting touch to your sensitive body. Your bodies molded together, his breathing was by your ear as you felt your soul leave your body. It felt too good to be true. That’s when you realized it was. You were being physically and emotionally vulnerable with your assaulter. Your body tensed and he noticed immediately. 

“What is it?” he questioned, sounding concerned to the slightest. He stared into your teary eyes, the back of his hand softly stroked your cheek. His free hand lowered to your stomach in an attempt to comfort you.

You regretted it immediately. The action went without a thought. You just saw an opportunity and didn’t think of what the consequences would be. The slap echoed throughout the room and it was followed by complete silence. It was a surprise that you even had the strength to land the hit. You laid frozen as his head remained in the position your hand forced it to. If anything, it was your opportunity to escape. But that slap had used all of your strength. Slowly his dark eyes turned to you, his thighs keeping you trapped underneath him. You stared back at him in fear, waiting for his fury. He backhanded you, again and again. A last gasp for breath left your lips as his hands wrapped around your throat. You struggled underneath him, your face quickly turning red in the process. His expression was emotionless as your fingers dug into his hands, forearms, anything to break the grip. 

“Fucking ungrateful bitch” he growled. “You know, I was going to be nice and wait to fuck you until tomorrow. I thought it would have been a kind gesture to give you some recovery time since, being a pure virgin and all. But you’re just a bit of a fucking brat now aren’t you? Unfortunately I’ll just have to show you my rough side as well” he snarled to you. 

It was a lie, he was going to fuck you today regardless. It was just amusing to fuck with your mind. Your vision became blurred and your hands fell to your sides. He let go of his grip and you gasped for air. His hands quickly gripped onto the sides of your head, his fingers tugged roughly at the roots of your hair. 

“Apologize to me” he spat his demand.

“I’m sorry!” you cried. “I didn’t mean to hit you. I wasn’t thinking straight” you cried your explanation. The apology was genuine but that didn’t satisfy him. 

“Show me you’re sorry” he ordered. You blinked as you processed his words. You tried to move your head closer to his but his fingers pulled your hair back. You winced as you figured you had to work harder to kiss him. Jonathan watched your frustrated and distressed look as you tried to press your lips against his.

“Please let me kiss you” you begged. He chuckled, and let go of your hair. You kissed him desperately, your tongue slid into his mouth. He didn’t like it at all. It felt way too forced by you. Jonathan pulled away and slapped you. 

“You’re trying too hard baby. It’s rather embarrassing” he laughed. “Now, don’t make any rash decisions as I fuck you. Despite my pleasure, I think you’d prefer not to be drugged into a state of  paralysis”. 

Jonathan stood up on his knees, you being trapped underneath him. He towered over you as he began to unbutton his shirt. His eyes did not drift away from yours as he dropped the shirt to the ground. Skin as pale as ghost and had little body fat and muscle definition. It was confusing how easily he could overpower you, drugs you’d guess. “Is there any fantasies on how you want to be fucked little one?” Jonathan teased. 

“No” you spat. 

Jonathan hummed as he slid off the bed. Your lower region was still raw from your orgasm. He unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his trousers. He pushed down the clothing enough for him to pull his cock out. A cry left your sore lips. His size was much bigger than you’d imagined. Maybe it was just an illusion, his cock just looked bigger because of his small size. Stroking his cock Jonathan ordered you to turn to your side. You buried your head into the bed as you turned your body away from him. 

He pulled your hips towards him, his cock rested by your entrance. You whimpered at the feeling of him against you. He caressed your ass a little bit as he lined his cock up. “This is going to hurt, a lot” he warned you with zero care. With one forceful thrust, he was completely inside of you. It wasn’t an illusion, he was as big as you thought. The inside walls of you cunt ached as it stretched around him. It was instinct for you to scream and it was diabolical for Jonathan to enjoy your sounds of agony. 

You wanted to thrash out, attack him. But you knew the consequences, how easily he would be able to restrain you. And you didn’t wish to know what torture he would bring upon you. So instead you just laid there crying with him watching you, your fingers curled into the fabric. Jonathan’s grip on your hip tightened as he began to thrust viciously. He popped your cherry quickly, your blood coated his cock and he thought that it was a heavenly sight. He stared at the back of your head as his balls smacked against your core. 

“I want you to look at me while I fuck you” he ordered, his jaw clenched and nostrils flared. You did as he said and turned your head back. His mouth fell open as you two stared at one another. “How does it feel? Losing your virginity in this state? I bet you feel like a dirty little whore. Good, because you like this, I can feel your cunt clench around me. You’re dripping darling” he pointed out, you were. The thrusts became easier because of how wet you were from this. 

His finger drew blood for your hip as his thrusts continued at the same quick, rough pace. He analyzed your expression, noticing your eyes trying not to roll back and jaw lowering open. “Are you about to climax again darling?” he asked with a grin, he could feel it. You shook your head, not wanting to believe it yourself. A harsh smack landed on your bruised hip causing you to yelp. “Don’t lie baby” he warned in a low voice. 

“Yes!” You cried out. Jonathan laughed at how easy it was to unfold you.  

“Don’t let me hold you back. By all means, come!” he commanded, slapping your ass in the process. 

Quickly after that, you followed through with his command. You cried out, eyes completely rolled back, mouth panting for air, chest tightened and body falling numb. Your head fell back as you rode out your orgasm on Jonathan’s cock, hips rocking in rhythm. 

“The little virgin really must love my cock” he noted. 

“Please- stop. I-” you were lost for words. Could he blame you? Two orgasms in a row when you’ve never even attempted it before? Jonathan chuckled darkly at your request. 

“Darling, I’m not even close to finishing. You’re just going to have to hold it out. Maybe we should see if I can get a few more in?” He smirked and you shook your head. 

You couldn’t do this, you’ve had enough. You twisted your body back in an attempt to push him out of you. He reacted quickly and climbed on top of you. His cock slipped out as he grabbed onto your chin. His eyes gave you a warning not to disobey him as he realigned his member. With an easy push, he was back inside of your sweet canal. He bit your neck roughly as he found the right angle to fuck you. You moaned, he felt so fucking good and you hated it. 

Jonathan stared at your expression. Fear mixed with pleasure. It was the ultimate combination. He kissed you passionately, his tongue sliding down to your throat. You tried to fight him off with your own tongue but it was no use. You didn’t notice your arms snaking around his back to hold him close to you, as if he’d leave at any moment. 

“You like this” he taunted. You ignored his words and just focused on him fucking you, feeling yet another orgasm building up inside of you. But then he stopped fucking you all together. His cock slipped out of you and you frowned at him. You almost asked as to why he had stopped. Has he finished? “If you want me to continue fucking you, you’ll ask me nicely” he explained, a sly look on his face. 

You laughed weakly, he wasn’t serious? Why would you want him to continue? But then he rubbed your clit and you knew why you wanted him to continue. Humiliation was such a turn on. You cried, your chaotic thoughts were too much to unpack. Why would you even dare to ask him to continue? But you were already so close again and the discomfort in your core was becoming unbearable as he rubbed you just enough to keep you on edge but not enough to push you over. 

“Don’t feel guilty about your pleasures Y/N. Your body betrays your mind, it’s so fascinating isn’t it? The relationship between the mind and body. There’s no point in fighting it. Just embrace it, embrace my touch” 

His words felt like bliss. He was so smooth tongued. It was true, you did enjoy this, well your body did at least. What was the point in fighting? You had already lost to him. 

“Please” you whimpered, keeping your head low.

“No” his reply was blank.

“Please!” you sobbed, head shooting up to look at him. Your eyes screamed desperation and irritation.

“Please what? Please Doctor Crane fuck me? I’m such a pathetic greedy little slut that wants to come again?” His words were a slap to the face. It was as mortifying as you thought. 

“Yes that yes!” your response was quick. “Please- I want, I want your cock inside of me. I want to feel you inside of me” you said overwhelmed. You were whimpering a lot, your hips rocking on his thumb.  

Jonathan watched you rub yourself on him and bit his lip. “Oh, you really are a fucking slut. But you’re my slut. You’re mine. But I think you know that already. You’ve always known. Don’t you?” He grinned. You hummed and nodded your head. You shrieked when he pinched your clit. “Use your words girl!” he growled. 

“Yes! I-I’m yours!” you answered. Tears streamed down your cheeks and your mouth trembled.

“Oh you make me want to come so hard. I want you to hold it out. Can you do that for me baby? Wait for me so we can come together” he grinned as he lined his cock at your entrances, brushing against your wet folds. You nodded your head in agreement. Whatever, whatever he wanted. 

The force of his thrusts was like a jackhammer. For a man his size, he sure had stamina. Your foreheads pressed together, fingers interlocked and your legs weakly wrapped around his waist. It terrified you because you came before him. You just couldn’t help yourself. But he didn’t stop so you rode out your high as best as you could. You knew he was about to come undone. Both of your hips locked forward at the same time. Jonathan groaned loudly as you clenched against his shooting cock. His eyes squeezed shut as he held you tight and head flung back. His thrusts came to a sudden stop, his cock completely inside of you, his load spurting deep inside of you. With a few more softer thrusts, Jonathan pulled his soaked cock out of you. 

He let out a satisfied sigh. “I told you it wouldn’t be considered rape” he reminded you expressionless, not even breathless unlike yourself. 

You broke down, unable to control your emotions. You were a sobbing mess. Surely he’s drugged you with something else, right? But the gut feeling inside of you told you otherwise. Too many conflicting thoughts were fighting with each other. After watching you for a quick moment, he got off of you and fixed himself up, redressing himself and combing back his damp hair from all of the sweat as you laid there helpless. There was the opportunity that you tried to make a run for it, but the success rate was at minimum at this point. 

The Doctor went over the sink and ran a cloth under warm water. Ringing out the water, he walked back over to you and began to clean you up, completely ignoring your state of distress. Aftercare was the least of your expectations. He left your cunt till last. His fingers pressed up against the folds of your entrance. A mixture of your fluids oozed out.

“What a sight” he murmured to himself. 

You whined and hissed as he cleaned your raw, swollen, abused cunt. When he was done, he chucked the cloth into the sink and climbed back onto the bed next to you. You silenced yourself, expecting him to make another attack on you. He watched over you quietly and you weren’t sure what to do. It was like he was a crazed monkey waiting to snap.

“You’re still such a good girl for me” he cooed as he planted soft kisses all over your heated skin. The memories of your history filled his mind. There was a passionate kiss shared between you two, the type that doesn’t show desire but shows romantic intimacy. You kissed him back gently, it felt nice and you hated it. Jonathan pulled away and wiped your tears. “You still know your place. Mhm, you took my cock so well baby. I’m so proud of you little one” he praised as he groped your tits. “God, who knows, I might just fall in love with you” he laughed softly, kissing you once more.

[sparkly-sediment]

Tf2 Mediscout headcanons pt 1

This was requested! If you have any little tf2 desires, my asks are open, as are fanfic commissions! Feel free to dm

Personally this ship awakens a beast within if you catch my drift

It started off just like the others. No jarring attraction, no electricity, no 😩🫦💦. Just two dudes who are now very weird coworkers

Medic def has a type and Scouts fit the bill. Skinny lanky boy toy! During various experiments and totally inconspicuous injections (he told Scout it was penicillin) he notes the slender frame and the lean muscles but he is a professional after all

Scout, however, is not

He’s initially unnerved by Medic and attributes it to the threatening, could-vivisect-you aura, but the tightness in his chest when Medic comes too close or Scout catches a hint of his french cologne isn’tfear

They work fairly separately for a while. Yes, they live together, but they also live in a chaotic team of nine with very different jobs. Their conversations aren’t close like Medic and Heavy or Scout and Sniper

Different peers groups yk? And with the age gap, Scout isn’t exactly knowledgeable in whatever the fuck old people talk about

Scout isn’t a little bitch. He got his ass beat as a kid, so he could handle a bloody nose or split lip, and going to the med bay means close contact with a man who makes him feel funny (like, more than any chick ever had), so Scout keeps out

Medic doesn’t like that. Medic usually corrals someone onto the operating table, and Scout becomes his main target. The others don’t mind since they aren’t being sliced up but there are a few comments between Engineer and Heavy about it

They aren’t uncomfortable, but they notice. No one had made it weird so Engie wasn’t about to do so and neither was Heavy. They just notice an uptick of scout/medic conversations, the two bumping into each other a bit more, and the brutality of experiments on Scout decreasing

They’re highkey jealous LMAO who knew the doctor wouldn’t hurt you if he thought you were hot

Medic starts insisting Scout come in the med bay more. That doesn’t last long, because Scout quickly starts going on his own will

“I uh, need a bandaid” absolutely bitchless and unsure of himself it is pitiful! Medic finds it endearing

By this point Scout is aware he finds Medic attractive but is repressing the shit out of it. Internalized homophobia, tragically.

The way Medic towers over him, with his broad stature completely enveloping Scout haunts the runner and Scout starts having some silly little thoughts he just can’t control

During fights with BLU, he watches Medic haul the medigun and really starts spamming E ifykyk

What if Medic was rough with him? What if Medic held him down, or pinned him against the wall? Scout can’t help the images that pop into his head despite his best efforts, and he really can’t help the flush his skin takes when Medic touched him or speaks in a low tone

Scout is folded like a five dollar lawn chair and foolishly thinks he’s hiding it well

Medic knows and is toying with Scout like a cat. Bats at the mouse, holds his leg a little too long after looking at Scout’s ankle. He backs off and acts like there’s nothing tense about leaning over Scout for something on the counter

Medic is surprisingly chill if he’s in his element. Find him in the med bay, cleaning or tinkering with something fleshy, and he is really just vibing. If you’re Scout sitting on the counter watching, then Medics dropping knowledge of the human body

Medic exercising his intelligence sends Scout into heat highkey. Boy has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about but damn those hands that accent the big words!! He is desperate!!

Apologies for the set up rather than active relationship head canons. I’ll post some getting together, fluffy, and maybe nsfw headcanons for this pair!! Didn’t want a too long post and am tbh exhausted 😜

[darkbluekies]

Silas asks #5

Previous one next one

Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3

Warnings: mafia, yandere, isolation ... the normal stuff

In Intruder, would Silas still have been able to find the reader if she didn't look to see what was on the USB? (Perhaps she didn't know she had a foreign USB in her purse in the first place) You mentioned Silas could see her on the webcam, but I assumed that was because she used the USB on the computer. Also, if she didn't see the USB would Silas have taken it back without question or would he have still kidnapped the reader? Sorry for all the questions, I'm just curious hehe 😅

Hm, interesting question. I think that Silas would be able to find the USB one way or another, either through a tracker on it or hacking into surveillance cameras to follow her. He would most likely not be too interested in getting her, but would think of her when he leaves ... which means that he'll be back for her.

There's this meme on tiktok that goes "my blickyyyyyy upon the dresseeeerrrrr" it remind me so much of Silas who definitely is the type of dude with a gun in his dresser 🔫 🔫

I haven't seen that meme, but Silas would 100% keep a gun in his dresser! For uh "safety reasons". Not to keep you in the room no no

Do you think the reader would ever develop Stockholm syndrome with Silas?

I actually think so. He treats you well when you're obedient so if you don't try to escape and actually listen to what he says, he will be the most wonderful man you can ever get your hands on. And that's dangerous for your mental health because anyone would fall for that.

With that Broken reader x Silas fanfic Does the reader have a caretaker that had been helping them?

[fanfic?]

Oneshot it's basef off of (i think)

No, Silas doesn't want anyone to be close to you, escpecially not after what you've been trough. He's scared that you'll fall for someone else in your fragile state. He needs you to be reliant on him only. You're vulnerable, perfect for him to mold how he wants you to be.

LOVING SILAS SM MWAH MWAH MWAH LEMME KITH YOU omg but like.. 😳 what if he grows to lowkey miss gen z reader's remarks and jokes in the long run😶. like ok yeah big man got what he wanted😮‍💨🫥 but now reader doesnt laugh or smile anymore cause theyre lowkey highkey traumatized😁💧 ykwim????

[omg thank you for the kith hehe]

Then he'll try to bring it back! Silas thinks that you're a toy that he can break and bend to be how he wants you to be. Somehow you'll be back to normal, he just needs to figure out how. He'll regret breaking you down so badly and will do his best to crack your numb shell.

"I like it when you smile. Come on, baby, curse at me. You know you like that. Tell a joke, I'll laugh, I promise. No, you won't get punished, little thing."

The Valentine's day ask for Silas got me thinking, what if his s/of wanted to get job? (cause I can't just do nothing all day) And since I'm sure he wouldn't let us go somewhere, what if we asked for him to hire us? (Cause if he wouldn't we can start looking for a online job or a job where we could leave and come back without getting caught) We can basically do some clean up or just paperwork 🤔. Also sorry if my English is bad

He'd hate the thought of you working because he thinks that you should be doing things you liked, but if you really had to, he'd keep you in his office, right by his side, where you can go through some papers. Of course not the ones that could make you scared. If there are no papers for you to go through, he'll print fake ones, just so you'll have something to do. As long as he'd keep you occupied, you'd not complain about being bored or wanting to leave.

"Ah, how about a break? We should take a nap on the couch. We've been working so well, don't you think, little thing? Come here, baby, let me hold you."

Silas be like "I'm gonna torture you badly" I be like "I like that"🥴Chain me up in the basement for punishment? "oooh kinky"Psychological torture? "Hey how'd you know I like mind games?"Threaten friends and family? *Looks around sarcastically "where are they? I don't see them!" 🙃In conclusion, I identify as a chaotic neutral that cannot be contained. Go ahead, do your worst! It'll be fun~ >:3

You'd be Silas's nightmare.

Ok that was weird how would Silas react to a mc who was in awe about how rich he was and shocked when they arrive at his mansion?

[what was weird ...?]

He'd be shocked. He's been in defense mode to give you a fright, to scare you into obedience ... but you're not scared?

"If I live here? Uh yeah, i do ... what about it? You like it? Yeah, I guess it's nice. Do you really like it that much?"

Hello 👁🫦👁. I love all your stories and I'm trying to figure out how best to behave with Silas so that he doesn't lock me in the basement, but also doesn't break my mind or bones😭p.s. i love the yandere characters but even chatting with AI yanderes gives me bad endings

As long as you do as he says, (you stay in your room, doesn't complain too much, doesn't nag and demand him to be let out) he'll be pleased with you. He'll take you out for dinner and dates and be more patient with you. The more you demand of him, the less likely you'll get it and the quicker you'll end up in the basement. He wants to be treated as a human being, depsite all the bad things he's done to you :)

[borom1r]

1, 8, 17, 18, 20, 41, 45, 54, 93 for the non-fandom asks, 1, 3, 5-7, 12, 18-22, 24 for the fandom asks 🫡👀

THIS HAS BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG + I ANSWERED IT IB MY NOTES AND JUST FUCKING FORGOT TO POST IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

plush boromir:3 hes so Shaped

8. favorite coping mechanism?

uuuuuuuuuuu noise cancelling headphones + loud music

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

YES. I want to get one on my upper arm — there’s an artist I really like who’s done free-to-use art + im going to get a piece of his tattooed w/ kennings for Óðinn and Þórr above + below

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

I still vividly remember this dream I had in high school where my alarm for school went off, I got up and went to start making myself toast and fucking. Michael Myers walks up from the basement (the garage door/basement stairs were just off the kitchen) + we stared at each other and my only thought before my Actual alarm went off was “damn, guess I better make more toast”

20. whats your ideal date?

REN FEST!!!!!!! unironically my local fest hosts weddings and I would. really really like to get married there in full armor. even if it’s just for tax benefits smjfjdjjfjdj

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

WOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOF!!!!!!

45. do you prefer book over movie?

depends :3 ummmm a lot of times I think there are pros n cons to both mediums. sometimes I love a movie but also think the book is WAY better even if the movie is a masterpiece in its own right (a clockwork orange… cutting off the original ending to the book completely fucks the point of the story I think. I adore that movie but if you’ve never read the book…. 😑)

54. whats your best hottake?

my BEST????? idfk dude. my CURRENT hot take is that the changes the made to Faramir’s character for the movie were Good, Actually

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

wolf hat :3 AND my leather jacket w all my patches

1. What is the first fandom you were ever a part of?

uuuuu like active online a part of… probs like. idek dude probably the fucking Warriors (1979 movie not cat books)

3. All-time favorite pairing?

I’m a spangel truther and I have been since middle school, so ig that

5. Favorite platonic pairing?

big fan of Boromir&Éowyn like obvs Boromir&Faramir + Théodred&Éomer&Éowyn bc they are Family but if we’re talking non-blood relations then I think Boromir&Éowyn is an excellent platonic pairing

6. Favorite headcanon?

I’ve almost called Boromir a faggot multiple times on instinct, so that. also transgender Faramir (what direction? you decide. they contain multitudes < I personally adore a he/they/te transmasc. I think te and Aragorn should both be allowed to use Sindarin pronouns. get funky with it)

7. Least favorite headcanon?

HRM. there are SOME utterly rancid takes from my SAW fandom days that I still think abt. evil. I shan’t speak of those times in public.

12. Craziest thing you've ever done as part of a fandom?

uh. idk?? I used to run a rlly popular ask blog for the characters of The Warriors (1979) that I believe is still out there?? lmao ok yea it is i just checked. that’s so funny that it’s still out there actually snfksjfjjs

18. All-time favorite fanfic?

that I’ve READ or that I’ve WRITTEN????

to read, literally anything Connor @angeltrapz has written but I’ll specifically drop this Princess Bride fic💗 https://archiveofourown.org/works/41272767?view_adult=true (TUMBLR WONT LET ME ACTUALLY LINK THE FIC EVIL AND HATEFUL. I can paste it + it generates a link tho. functioning fucking app)

fav that I’ve written…. highkey this one

19. Fanfic you read again and again?

other people’s fics?? this whole series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/183362

my own fics? literally any of my Faramir/Éomer fics that pairing is so fun

20. All-time favorite fanfic author?

CONNOR ANGELTRAPZ MY BESTIE!!!!!!!! also YOU duh????? ik it’s not fanfic Technically but like. BOY the rp is. creative project of all time perhaps?

21. Favorite fic trope?

i am a weak bitch for a good soulmate au. esp when there’s like. drama. im not exposing myself just know i think abt soulmate aus A Lot. < can u tell this has been sitting in my notes for A While lmfao

22. Least favorite fic trope?

idek???? I think any trope can be Done Well like I don’t normally enjoy chatfics but I’ve also read. some really good chatfics!! write what u love who cares

24. Funniest fandom-related story?

I’m gonna be so real w u I got into drama w a Lost Boys fandom mogul bc I was. A Homosexual and A Kinnie and they were NOT happy abt the fact I was like “yea all the lost boys are fucking.” I didn’t even know what to say abt that really. take it up w famously gay director Joel Schumacher if you don’t like me. A NOTORIOUS FAGGOT. going “yea I think these characters in a film directed by a gay man are gay”

this exact situation has happened to me 3 times across various fandoms. <- is just trying to sit in my little kinnie corner + be a weird fag in peace

[seeingivy]

Helloess 👉👈 I usually lurk on your (or p much everyone's) blog bcoz I got that online social anxiety xddd and I've never rlly sent an ask before to anyone but seeing your posts lately about interactions and from how much I love your fics and writing gave me some courage to finally send you something!!

Can I just say that you're like my favourite JJK fic writer :') Like your mind is simply awesome— the dialogues you write and the original ideas you come up with are always sooo impressive and THE FEELS!!! The emotions I get to feel from reading your fics is crazy 😭 Especially in the older brother Sukuna one!! I actually discovered your blog thanks to that fic, lucky me :D I love it soooo much!! I re-read it recently and it managed to make me cry again over the sheer amount of pure love and healthy relationship dynamics overflowing from it qwq Like some of the chapters felt like being in therapy fr 😭 the way I had to just pause and BREATHE sometimes coz of how emotional I felt asdfghjkl

The way you touched some heavy topics in the fic too, some of which were very relatable as well, and wrote them sooo beautifully, it all felt so so comforting to me- like I'm not rlly alone in experiencing all these deep feelings, which was just super healing and I just wanna say thank you for existing and pouring your heart out into making such a beautiful piece of work and sharing it with us 🫶 it's so so lovely! Also, I absolutely love it when authors write emotionally intelligent characters and I never imagined ever crushing on and kicking feet over Sukuna of all characters but YOUR Sukuna just made that come true xD 🩷

And I used to be a Geto simp initially but your Satoru Gojo as Taylor series singlehandedly made me fall for him so deep like I've been obsessed for months now 😭 I love all the fics of it so much, I highkey believe I've memorized the scenarios in half of them from how much I re-read them lolol and they still manage to evoke so many different emotions in me each and every time! You're simply an amazing author 👑 To add, I actually have never watched AOT or know anything about it but your content is so addicting that I feel compelled to read those fics of yours regardless 😭 just because I can already guess how good they'd be as well uwu

Like I've read so many fanfics over the years but yours are some of the most wonderful pieces that I've come across and they've become very close to my heart too :') especially bcoz they got me through some very dark times this year by being my wholesome and positive escape hehe 🤍 and I'm so grateful and so glad that you poured the time, energy, effort and TALENT to write all of them, and still dedicatedly put out chapters so frequently on your blog, which always makes me so happy and excited to see btw!!! I, and I believe many other fans, can't appreciate you enough for it!

Sorry it got so long unu but just wanna give you a big thank youuuuu and tell you that you're so sweet and have a beautiful heart and mind, and you only deserve nice and good things, stay blessed <3333 ✨ 💖

oh my goodness!

i put this under the cut because i basically have every intention to responding to every part of what you say!

first and foremost - thank you for lurking on my blog, even to the point where you read the asks that other people send me. sometimes (and for a good amount of time actually) i wanted to answer asks so bad but wouldn't because i was scared i was annoying my followers by answering them all the time or telling people random stuff about myself just because i thought they were just following me for the writing.

tldr. needless to say, that it makes my entire world that you read my asks - about interactions and a lot of the stuff that i've been talking about lately - and that you sent me this ask, because it's filled me with so so much joy and motivation to get back into writing

oh best friends older brother sukuna. god, i can't even talk about what that fic means to me in so many ways, and the fact that it's resonated with so many people has actually healed so many things in me. like i'm not even joking, i've literally talked about that fic and read asks/comments to my therapist to like prove to her that this was like something real and that i put it out all there.

even from a writing standpoint, i feel like in the past i resorted to most of the cliche miscommunication stuff because it was hard to come up with stuff that moved the plot forward. but it was really interesting to write that and make most of the stuff external - and it really made me think about characters/emotions/what motivates people most of the time. yes, miscommunication is a big thing in relationships and not being able to talk to one another effectively will put a damper on things - but other things can to. and damn it sometimes it's nice to just love each other the way you should and handle it with care (which was basically the entire point of that fic anyways)

oh god, it makes my entire world that you called my characters emotionally intelligent. honestly, those topics were never like supposed to be part of the story - and most of the stories i write aren't planned out. i start writing and something came out of me. i was very hesitant to post those chapters, but in the end just chose to honor the fact that they're complex topics, they're nuanced, what i'm saying isn't wrong but it isn't applicable to everyone and that's okay. and even the fact that people find it relatable is validating for me, because almost everything in that fic is derived from a personal experience of mine.

oh gojo as taylor. to be honest, i thought it kind of fell off for a while but GOD everyone loves to see it and it makes my entire world. the first fic that i wrote on this account, almost a year and a half ago now, was literally a gojo as taylor before a gojo as taylor. it's a good omen.

GOSH, i'm so glad you're here and that you've read the things that i've written. you've given me such such kind words about them - most that i feel like i don't deserve - but that mean the world to me nonetheless.

also i've said it before and i've said it again. people like you who take the time to leave asks, or comment on all the details in the chapters, or just leave feedback or say that they enjoyed something means the world. most fanfic writers do this for free. i usually come home from a busy day or studying for midterms or just being frustrated and use this as a way to let loose. and really, as a reader, you could just read it and move past it without any penance to me. readers who take the time to comment, interact, and kind of create this space to me is kind of what fanfic is all about - I feel like I have my own little town of friends who all get and understand what i'm talkng about, and the fact that people want to entertain that and be here with me means the world.

all in all, you are a gem. i'm sorry that my response is so long, but I had to do all of your sweet words justice. I hope you have a lovely lovely day my friend!

[annwrites]

I’m lowkey highkey hoping that you won’t kill off Shane in the future fanfics and have the AU where he lives on through the series 😭😭😭

I have one even worse for you: I don't plan to write anything further for Shane, I'm afraid. The posts I've put out are all the ideas I've come up with while I watched TWD over the years. I just wanted to get those few pieces out & that was all I ever intended. I'm sorry. 😅

[hanibalistic]

huuuuuuuuuuuuuu. i just went down a spiral of remembering old fics i read in 2020 and i vaguely remembered one of your fics. i searched up hyunjin x reader wc on safari and prayed. i distinctly remembered how your theme looked and the gifs you used and the colors but i completely forgot your blog name until i saw Jeonginks on an old rb and i yelled out like i came across some guy i met at a bar and told all my deepest darkest secrets one night 4 years ago and never saw again on the street. like i looked for a good long second and went. IT’S YOU .

anyway i have bad memory so i don’t really remember anything you wrote just the feeling of reading your fics and having my brain chemistry altered. so when i realized your blog was deactivated and i couldn’t reread and remember whatever life changing work it was i read 4 years ago during quarantine where all i had was x reader fanfics and solitude i was lowkey highkey Devastated. until i had the bright idea to just search up jeonginks on tumblr again and scroll through posts because Maybe i’d find something

anyway! this is all to say IT’S YOU !!!

i just wanted to share bc there is little more that’s as frustrating as not being able to find something when you want to so badly and it literally being right in front of you and you Still can’t get it (like how i feel when i see smth a kpop idol wears and wanting it and not being able to find it Anywhere.) but i was able to find you in the end and now i’m feeling very happy. anyway! i will be reading ur works now thank u for still being alive and for still writing

(it's me indeed!)

hello ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ it has been a while, hasn't it! given that my old blog was where you came from, haha.

i think less than a handful of people figured out it's me at the beginning of this blog (before i deleted jeonginks) because of the similar writing style. i assume it may be more difficult to realize that now because i have changed drastically over the years, or at least i like to think so. i'm a hanner now (literally the worst change ever!!!), and while i write relatively similarly to before, the content is still somewhat different in specific themes, i think? i'm not hiding the fact that i was jeonginks anymore, though. i think it's been long enough and like, genuinely who cares?

i hope you like whatever i have on this blog. i am going through a very slow process of rewriting my old works, mostly because i'm more interested in either not writing at all or writing new things. my current goal is to finish the historical hyunjin au i had ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

[random-introverted-blog]

Yandere Shadowheart how? [Naturally there will be lots of spoilers]

Excellent question! I've been racking my head around this for a long, long time (sorry again to my ever patient partner) and I think I've figured it out IN CASE ANYONE WANTS TO TRY FOR THEMSELVES.

Shadowheart doesn't naturally exude many possessive traits. She straight up will let Tav/Durge skip off with Halsin, happily at that and ask for details. And she's down for a roll with the Drow twins (especially if Halsin is included) as long as she's gotten to be with Tav/Durge exclusively first.

However she does get noticeably irritated when she catches Tav/Durge after they sneak away with Mizora.

"Kind of you to offer a free sample then. Now that he's/she's tried out inferior goods, he'll/she'll know just how good he/she has it already."

"I'm not jealous, you know. If I wanted to bed something loyal and pure, I'd find a swan."

This could easily be read into as her being hurt at Tav/Durge's lack of trust to ask/talk to her first, their willingness to get down-dirty with a devil/Mizora or both. But it does offer some wriggle room in how to perceive her characters perspective and securities about their relationship.

Shadowheart will then add that due to her background it was almost encouraged to keep things... open among them.

"The way I was raised, the way I was trained... well, it was positively encouraged, to get to know each other. Even from the memories I can recall, there's stories I could tell you..."

I can feel your eyebrows and skeptical looks, just let me cook a minute longer.

Shadowheart will conclude the conversation by highkey telling Tav/Durge to ask her next time they feel like sleeping around and assuring them, if asked, that she would not mind as long as they keep her needs in mind too.

You could take what she says at face value. She's absolutely chill with Tav/Durge getting their hands down as many pairs of pants as possible as long as it's properly communicated with her beforehand.

Or you could suspect that this is something she says she's okay with because that's what she was trained/raised to believe and accept. That it does bother her more than she lets on, maybe even to herself. And if that's how you read into it (canon or not) then you can definitely twist a Shar-Inclined/Dark Justiciar Shadowheart down the obsessive/possessive path. I personally can't see a way to twist a Selunite!Shadowheart but that's what this blog is for!

I know we all look at Ascended!Astarion and go "wow his resources to hunt and control Tav/Durge would be endless!" I've read the fanfics too, guys. But let's not forget DarkJusticiar!Shadowheart is Shar's chosen and right hand. After she kills her parents she even acknowledges in awe how she can call on and command Shar's forces whenever she needs/wants.

She now has command of an entire screwed up cult/church of people who are obsessed with lies, trickery, and deceit. I think that's a tad spoopier than being hunted by some vampire spawn. Never know when the innkeeper or friend you met on the road is with your obsessed ex-girlfriend.

"BUT WAIT WHYNOYANDERESHADOWHEART" I hear you shout angrily, your voice full of !!!ENDGAME ROMANCE SCENE SPOILERS!!!

"DARK JUSTICIAR SHADOWHEART STRAIGHT UP DITCHES YOU WHEN THE ABSOLUTE IS DEFEATED TO GO AND REBUILD THE CHURCH"

DO YOU KNOW WHY I LOVE NIGHT ORCHIDS?

I'VE HEARD THAT SHIT TOO, IT TRAUMATIZED ME AND I ONLY SAW IT ON YOUTUBE.

The thing is, while in a different context. You can reject Astarions offer to turn you into a spawn. You can break up with him at anytime before the end of the game. You can kick him in the nuts when he asks you to kneel after you say no and he says "yes". And while he COMMENTS he should turn you into a spawn just to teach you a lesson of his power (depending on chosen dialogue with him post breakup) the game does not pull any shenanigans that implies he will come after Tav/Durge. It's just highly suspected in the fandom he will because that makes sense. But if you want to take it a step further; in the cut epilogue cards with Withers, it's said that while he does pine over Tav/Durge he will not seek them out because he believes it is beneath his station. If you choose to acknowledge cut content, the game will tell you he leaves Tav/Durge alone.

Count how many active Ascended!Astarion fics there are where he chases them to the ends of Faerun and get back to me.

If the logic can be applied to Ascended!Astarion then the same can go for DarkJusticiar!Shadowheart. She leaves, regrets it for one reason or another, changes her mind, justifies a return, Shar somehow is like "it'd be useful to control them and what better way than the old puppet strings of love?" or whatever. The beauty of a fanfic is that you can decide the details and circumstances for yourself.

That's the bit. Now go forth, Shadowheart simps yearning for dark/obsessive/possessive content too, go and multiply. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

P.s

The game will let you start a romance with Shadowheart in Act 1 but will not give you the option to break up with her. In my first playthrough I was with Shadowheart halfway into Act 2 until Astarion and I hugged and it took Shadowheart confronting my Durge to finally break things off. The game locks you into a yandere-esque romance with Shadowheart... Make of that what you will...

On that note, I believe Karlach is the same...

Look, just make everyone yandere I'm just saying anything is possible if you put your mind to--

[myreygn]

Demon Slayer or atla for the shippy meme?

why not both! :D

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KNY

lowkey otp: uzusane!! i think i just started shipping them because i liked them individually and wanted to throw them together but i read some really good fanfics and they grew on me so much, pushing my rarepair agenda til i die!

highkey notp: giyutan and uzuzen, i just don't like the thought of these 20 something year olds meddling with teens. giyuu in my head is like a brother to tanjiro and tengen and zenitsu have an extremely entertaining dynamic but it doesn't read ship to me at all.

[softly] don’t notp: i'm getting kinda hooked on rengiyuu, i just thought about it because i needed to put some characters into an incorrect quote but ever since they've just been on my mind.

highkey otp but i’m scared of saying it because it’s not a very popular choice: NEZUSEN! and no this is not a typo, i'm talking about nezuko and senjuro. this comic by one of my favorite fan artists got me intrigued and i love the idea of them getting together some time post canon when they're all grown up, like a really nice reunion story would be so cute.

highkey otp and anyone on my tumblr knows it: it is so cruel that you'd make me decide but i think. and i hate to do this because it means i can't mention all of the other options but i think i have to go with sanekana. there's so many demon slayer ships that are so near and dear to my heart but sanekana is just. idk man. they're everything to me.

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ATLA

lowkey otp: agaiiiiin so many options... i have to say yueki, yue and suki. idk i just always have them in the back of my mind when i think about zukka and come on they would make such a kickass couple.

highkey notp: tokka. i think toph's little crush on sokka is adorable but they're siblings your honor i'm sorry.

[softly] don’t notp: this is my time to come clean and tell you that i never truly got over my maiko phase. not entirely, at least, like i have other ships that i definitely prefer but they're just hnnngh i cannot sit here and pretend like "i love zuko more than i fear you" means nothing to me.

highkey otp but i’m scared of saying it because it’s not a very popular choice: i need you to stay with me. this started off as a funny idea from a shitpost but. jetkojin. jet zuko and jin. i loved jin so much, i would've loved to see more of her and just imagine throwing her into the already spicy jetko mix, like we all love some jetko right but now make it POLY. marvelous experience.

highkey otp and anyone on my tumblr knows it: maileemaileemaileemaileemaileemailee- i feel like my life is more peaceful ever since i have accepted them as my otp, they're everything to me and i could not be happier.

[mamawasatesttube]

Writing asks: 4, 7, 19, 65?

4. 4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

answered here!

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

oh, god... it was either some angst about the elves crossing the grinding ice from the silmarillion, or some long convoluted bizarre homestuck dystopian cyberpunk universe au starring the alpha kids. i barely even remember what was going on there, and i sure don't remember which of those i wrote first. i THINK it was technically the elf thing but i posted the homestuck one first. also the homestuck one was like 250k. go big or go home

19. what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

AHH i love this question. tolkien of course is the biggest influence on my writing ever, but also diana wynne jones and brandon sanderson!! i've also really liked stina leicht's worldbuilding in what i've read of her stuff, though admittedly i haven't read a ton of hers yet. but my god... i fixated hard on the silmarillion at 11 years of age and i think that explains a LOT about who i am as a person.

65. what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve written? 

well now i have to go back and check what fics i've written... honestly it might be a cop-out answer but i might say sotm?? that and the longfic i abandoned on my old account had titles that Really were highkey relevant tie-ins to the fics themselves, and i Love me some literary references, so sotm wins out over the other one in that regard. it ties in a lot abt kon's character while also being a canon reference and this makes me happy :]

ask game for fanfic writers

[novemquadragintillion]

Hmmmm what happened with me in 2023:

Finished reading the novel Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint (Feb 15th)

Started reading the novel Lord of the Mysteries (March/June), and then LotM 2: CoI (current)

Got to go rock collecting for the first time

Went through another year working at a grocery store as a produce clerk (god(s) please someone hire me, I'm burnt out)

Told my brother I'm aroace

Watched some anime~ Link Click s2, The Eminence In Shadow s2, and Romantic Killer are my favorites this year

Read the first 3 books of A Court of Thorns and Roses series

I wrote my first fanfic, about LotM. Technically I wrote one in 2020 (about ToG) but I hated it so I don't count it

Got to go to several parties (not big ones, which is good), and spent time with friends, which were all amazing

Favorite new music creators I fell for: Mili, Dirt Poor Robins, and the Family Crest

Favorite new youtuber this year: AniKhang. Seeing someone talk about how much they love an artist's work is so wonderful. And I get to learn about some artists I've never seen

Named my 2nd oc. I've had 4 ocs for years, and only 1 of them ever had a name, so it's a big deal for me

Finished my first drawing for a series of art pieces that I've been wanting to make for a long time. I haven't posted it online anywhere though, not yet. And I highkey want to redraw it

Acquired a heated blanket this year for Christmas. This was one of my life goals! Thank you to one of my dear friends <3

[anakinskywalkerog]

omg oli hiii! no worries at all hehe, i was sorta worried because of the oli drought lol

actually me and eli broke up like last week lmao. my friend was the one who suggested it - he was like, "dude. you dont seem interested in your relationship at all anymore. hes dating you thinking you still like him, which is unfair. i genuinely think you like han more than eli at this point; if what you said about getting the feeling of him not really keeping to himself is true, then break up, for both of your sakes."

so i did 🤷‍♀️

but yes i love 'I Can See You', all of the vault tracks are so good! foolish one was written for me lolol. and timeless is so perfect. "in the 1500s in a foreign land"??? ma'am, queen taylor has slayed again. or should i say, queen slaylor?

lmao i agree with the seasoning part. existence is too boring indeed. although i disagree with using the crush thingy. i don't REALLY like him, sort of just an attraction. in fact its over too lol. he texted me and we talked for a little bit and everything has gone back to how it was before anything turned up 💀 i get the ick quite easily

oh no! im sorry! im sure it will, but in the meantine, if you ever need, i'm always here :)

he did lmao! it took a lot of begging, and a lot of flat out refusal ("i cant write that! thats objectification! "consensual objectification!" "... no way i can do that. id be scarred." "its fine just do just do it pleaaaaase!" "lmao i cannot write smut about you both, thats too far, even for me, canberry." "...what about all of the smut you read then-") (not sure what gave him that impression but i am a college student, what am i, mary jane? i could, but i wont 🤭) cranberry asked after i wrote a sort of drabble for his friend (who also asked, but he gives highkey gay vibes lol. he and his gym bro and both crazy) back in january, but i flat out refused. and then something my friend posted on her story after one of our finals made me go "... no way, but i actually have a great idea"

ergo it happened!

but its definitely platonic lolol im sort of their only friend with such *amazing* writing skills ;) their exact words were "but youre the only person we know who writes fanfiction, please please please"

lmao i have no clue, just being crazy with their boys i guess lol.

hopefully! definitely did not seem that way from his messages, but maybe im wrong. ill give it a couple of months? plus, i have not been blocked, or removed from his stories, and he did enjoy reading it (bros was laughing so hard he couldnt even read)

lmaooo me too! we would be so iconic. feel free to drama dump anytime lmaoo. i am officially a *tumblr user who gets asks* (proud smiling) hehe 😈

i also cooked my own curry for the first time today hehe that was interesting

lmao i will try, thank you for the tip <3

love, sythe <3

sorry it took me so long to reply, sythe!!

1) don’t be worried about oli droughts, I just get busy but everything is fine!

2) sorry to hear about eli 😭 damn. but also rip and thank u next, you know what I’m sayin

3) foolish one was written for all us tumblr girlies!! lololol. but also, you don’t have to have a CRUSH just to have a lil crush. like, just a lil makin eyes on occasion makes life less boring hehe

4) truly CANNOT imagine anyone in my real life asking me to write them fanfic let alone a BOY let alone SMUT that is a crazy story

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 (ps have you watched Ahsoka yet)

[perrypixel]

ace 🤝 anon again (prob my last one for awhile bc I feel bad that I’m kinda spamming u haha)

no no NO YOU GET ME

aroace Hunter hc??? pls come here so I can shake ur shoulders excitedly thank u for validating me

i humbly raise u this: aroace Willow. there’s something actually so personal to me about the prospect of someone like her who’s obviously very loving and thoughtful and could even have what ppl would consider a ‘romantic’ personality being aroace. like yes she loves all her friends and the ppl around her w everything in her. also yes, she doesn’t experience romantic attraction. she’s still filled w intense love for the ppl around her all the same. it makes me feel things.

considering goldenlight, I just think of them years later entering a very tentative relationship after a very strong bestie arc where they both acknowledge they have strong feelings for one another but neither are quite certain where they fall. (Hunter is at LEAST aroacepec I’m just correct I’m sorry everyone) and it’s just so slow and sweet. they’ll be watching a movie and Hunter will hesitantly lean over and rest his head on Luzs shoulder. it’s nothing like the books where his heart is supposed to be pounding; he is relaxed. He only hesitates in moments like this because he still has his fears over his sense of judgement, if he can trust himself enough to let himself become devoted to other people like he did in the past for Belos. it’s not that he heals only with luz or solely because of her, its because of everyone. he grows genuinely close to everyone. he learns how to love everyone properly and be loved in return. mmmm. them coming to a point where luz very gently takes him by the shoulder and asks him if she can kiss him. bc she knows he’s not sure if he can even handle a romantic relationship and also that she wants to respect his boundaries so bad. luz very tenderly holding his face when she receives a nod and leaning forward to embrace him, forehead to forehead for a bit before very gingerly kissing him. god. god. god. man. luz and Hunter being awkward yet gentle with one another during intimate moments like that is everything to me actually.

ANON YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY OH MY GOD THAT’S THE SWEETEST THING I’VE EVER READ!

Also, Ive mentioned aroace willow before! And mentioned she has so much platonic love to give and people confuse it for romance! 

Also please spam my inbox with goldenlight stuff. Cause I have a BUNCH of post sitting in my drafts related to them. Any goldenlight asks is welcome

[actually-autisticc]

Idk why but I feel like pouring out my heart right now about Spinel as I can’t do that with anyone (used to be able to with my girlfriend but we aren’t together anymore.)

Like my GOD I don’t think I’ve ever loved a character as much as her in my life. I don’t know what it is but literally she makes me so fucking happy. Whatever form it may be, past Spinel, movie Spinel or Future Spinel, she makes me so happy.

If I haven’t mentioned it before, I have Asperger’s (I’m on the more high functioning end of the spectrum like if I told you rn if you were with me you probably couldn’t tell). So this diagnosis makes me just focus more on things like television shows, characters, whatever. For me, I’m focused on fitness, Spiderman, Spinel (or SU in general), graffiti, and idk other shit.

But Spinel is something different. When the movie came out, I never even knew that they were planning on making a movie so this was such a surprise for me I didn’t see any trailers or anything. Once I heard, I flipped shit and was like wow I need to get back into this again maybe. I of course finished the regular seasons and somewhat forgot about it afterward (still rewatched it a few times). I was a freshman in college and kinda lonely. My Asperger’s also affects my ability to make friends but I’m still nice and friendly as ever so I was a little lonely. I had friends but not people I could make absolute amazing college memories with. Watching the movie made me fall in love with SU again but it also made me fall in love with Spinel. She’s so adorable I just can’t. She also fuckin hot-

I absolutely loved her character, her design, her story, her amazing voice actress that is now my favorite actress, and just everything. Other Friends swept me off my feet with the swingy feel and before, I already kinda liked electroswing and 1920’s-1930’s animation so it was like an orgasm of amazingness. During dinner, I’d be in the (awful) dining hall, chowing down on salads but also looking up things with the movie. I watched edits, looked at fanart, read fanfics, and everything I could find about this springy, neurotic character. Spinel just made me feel better during these new changes of being in a new city (moved across the state) and being in college. I didn’t feel as lonely when I looked at things about her.

And then Sarah Stiles. Wow. What a fucking VOICE like I’d listen to her sing idk happy birthday or even the stupidest songs and I’d be happy. She seems so down to earth, kind, funny, and fun-loving. I honestly don’t think I normally obsess or like celebrities but Sarah is amazing. Sure, I like athletes, singers, actors/actresses like anyone else would but idk Sarah is different. I don’t wanna be a stalker lmao (I’ve seen someone role play??? Like how weird is that? It’s one thing to roleplay a fictional character but someone that’s living right now? I do get impersonators like Michael Jackson ones sure). She’s replied to me twice on Instagram even tho I don’t normally comment on celebrities’ social media’s. I watched other things with Sarah like Get Shorty, bootlegs of Broadway musicals which I HIGHKEY recommend people to watch. Seriously I picture Spinel anytime Sarah’s onscreen and I love it. Anytime she swears I’m like fuck yes spinel would definitely say that (LET SPINEL SWEAR). I sound crazy sorry lmaoo

I’m sorry I’m typing all this but I can’t say any of this to anyone without probably getting weird looks. I used to talk about it with my girlfriend but we aren’t together and there’s just this empty hole. It hurts that I can’t talk about certain things with others. I could write so much about Spinel (literally writing a fanfic lmao GO CHECK IT OUT ITS CALLED THAT DAMN DAME) but idk how big posts can be on tumblr.

Thank you for coming to my Spinel Talk

I also thinks she’s so fucking hot don’t @ me like slice me with your rejuvenator, Spinel, or extend your fing-

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Can you tell us some of your favorite fics?

Ooooh, a fics recommendation masterlist??? Why yes, I’d love to!!! I’ve been meaning to anyways, so what the hell? May as well do it here. All of these are on AO3! One-Shots

Anything to Forget by H8tedHannah One of my go-tos when I have no new Hawkmeat fanfic to read. The basic premise is that Eli, being the shameless adrenaline junkie that he is, takes Demetri walking around on the edge of a tall building, where he goes to forget all the painful memories of the dojo war and Cobra Kai and such. It switches between the boys’ POVs, and the way they describe each other is just...*chef’s kiss* like they both have such heart eyes and are totally oblivious to it until the very end, it’s great! And at the end, when it all comes together...man, I get legit CHILLS every time Eli says “I love you too.” I’M TELLING YOU, IT HITS DIFFERENT.

Your Kiss is the Best Drug by H8tedHannah They have their first kiss while high!!! Them getting high in general and High Demetri especially is pretty damn funny, but it’s also highkey wholesome. It includes one of my absolute favorite Binary Boyfriends tropes, i.e. Demetri tells Eli how much he loves his little lip scar. Every time I see it, I melt into a puddle of tears.

Taking Flight by solarphoenix Eli goes over to Demetri’s house after getting jumped by Cobra Kai post Season 3. They hang out, and we get to see them just having fun together!!! And BANTERING in a way that gave me a serotonin boost to last the next 10 years! And a little hurt/comfort with Demetri treating Eli’s wounds and we get a glimpse of their childhood together and when Demetri first started pining. AND THEY KISS! And exchange more smartass comments directly afterwards, it’s glorious XD

you can’t even see how much you’re mine by citriciel The perfect blend of angst, these boys actually TALKING THROUGH THEIR ISSUES, Demetri getting to be rightfully angry but still forgiving Eli because he always, always does, both of the disaster boys apologizing, banter and punch-flirting, and, best of all, DEMETRI KISSING ELI’S SCAR. HELL YES, LITERALLY MY FAVORITE BINARY BFS TROPE EVER??? If I don’t fuckin tear up every time I read “I love the way it stretches when you smile” ;___; And a saucy makeout sesh too!!! Plus, the way Demetri teases Eli at the end is utterly priceless XD

The Cobra Effect by slrandomperson Another go-to when I don’t have any new Binary Boyfriends fics to read, honestly. Basically an AU where Demetri manages to get through to Eli when he has him held down in the laser tag place, and Eli doesn’t break Demetri’s arm. Afterwards Demetri, of course, makes Eli hang out with him a bunch to make it up to him XD Has another one of my favorite Binary Boyfriends tropes--Demetri falling in love with BOTH sides of Eli--the timid, quiet, nerdy one and the cocky, snarky, and confident Hawk-esque one. And DEMETRI apologizing for trying to hold Eli back when he wanted to change and gain more confidence, even though it came from a place of fear of losing Eli??? HERE FOR IT. Also a lovely portrayal of Autistic Eli struggling with social cues and not picking up on things that seem “obvious” to others, and I am ALWAYS down for Autistic Eli!!! I mean...it’s basically canon, but super-convincing portrayals can be rare, and this fic NAILS it. Also, the BANTER??? Incredible. 10/10. And Eli kissing SUPER aggressively is always gonna be a YES in my book!

Leave the Past in the Past by agoldengalaxy Would you like to see Hawk going ABSOLUTELY FERAL protecting Demetri from the Cobras??? Look no further! Am I a misogynist for thoroughly enjoying when Hawk goes into full beating-up-Brucks mode on Tory after she tries to fuck up Demetri? I sure hope not, because I loved every minute of it! And they smooch at the end!

3 times Eli held Demitri and 1 time Demitri held him by Thejoysofcreativity Just a REALLY great hurt/comfort fic and a pretty realistic take on how the trauma of Eli breaking Demetri’s arm would play out for both of them, even after they make up. This fic is actually where I got my headcanon of Eli hurting Demetri during sparring sometimes triggering panic attacks for Eli. And Demetri obviously trusts Eli again on a mental and emotional level, but physically he’s...still scared of him, which is depressing as hell but also heartbreakingly realistic. Also I am ALWAYS down for the Cobras hurting Demetri and Eli UTTERLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and realizing his feelings, it’s always just *chef’s kiss* Nothing to match an anguished love confession on death’s doorstep!

How to Inhabit a Body by unsaid_eddie An AU where Hawk and Eli get split into two bodies, and they gotta figure out how to conjoin again with Demetri’s help! When I first read the synopsis I was like “that’s so goddamn wacky, I don’t know if I can jive with that” but it’s executed like...amazingly??? Like a surprisingly brilliant take on the whole “Eli/Hawk finds balance/union between the ‘Eli’ and ‘Hawk’ parts of his personality” thing, and seeing Hawk and Eli finally admit the things they actually like about each other was surprisingly cathartic. And seeing Eli’s take on his feelings for Demetri vs. Hawk’s take on his feelings for Demetri was somehow equally hilarious and heartbreaking. Also Demetri’s sarcasm here is A+, what an absolute savage legend.

Sparrowhawk by cc tinslebee Demetri and Moon talk about the gradual progression from “Eli” to “Hawk,” and how hard it was for both of them. Because they both loved his soft side :( A really great Demetri and Moon friendship fic (love their dynamic!!!), and I loved the epiphany they both have at the end that Hawk and Eli aren’t separate entities, but exist to balance each other out--one can’t exist without the other, and that’s okay. And the ending was JUST SO CUTE, like Moon seeing Eli and Demetri being together and friends again after the Christmas fight and knowing there’s A Thing going on between them, but not prying about it in case they’re not comfortable having it out in the open? Her being totally all right with it as long as Demetri’s happy and being treated well??? PURE

With Friends By Your Side by cc tinslebee Basically a fic exploring how Hawk processes Demetri having made several new close friends in his absence and basically ALL of them being suspicious AF of him, including none other than Hawk’s very own ex girlfriend!!! An utterly excellent time, and a fantastic way to indugle all of the many BroTPs I have for our boi Demetri! Also Hawk and Sam bonding over how freaked out Demetri was by Sam being in a hit-and-run (even funnier that it was JOHNNY) is PRICELESS. Moon and Hawk attempting to have a one-on-one conversation with some of that ex awkwardness still floating around is honestly pretty funny, too. ANYWAYS WHOLESOME FRIENDSHIP FLUFF FTW

Watch your back by Veirtyel For starters, I absolutely ADORE the initial look at Eli and Demetri's friendship AFTER it’s been fully rekindled after the christmas fight--no sitting through a bunch of tension and awkwardness this time, we just get straight to them being comfortable around each other and having fun together and teasing each other like they used to and sometimes that’s EXACLY what I need. Like as much as I love The Drama, sometimes I just wanna skip to the part where they’re bffs again, you feel? And Demetri and Eli??? Talking about Nerd Shit and also roasting the Star Wars prequels together??? Literally ALWAYS down for that, I just wanna see nerds being nerds and having nerdy conversations and nerdy arguments about nerd shit. EXCELLENT. And Eli letting the Cobras beat him up so that Demetri can get away??? My darlings Sam and Miguel showing up to help Eli, and Eli and Sam finally starting to become friends??? Eli and Sam bonding over what a fuck Kyler is, just like I’ve always dreamed??? Eli teasing everyone with that signature smug Hawk cockiness, but not being a total asshole about it??? Demetri realizing he actually PREFERS the combined Eli/Hawk to the original Eli, and deciding current Eli is Best Eli? UTTER FUCKING PERFECTION. AMEN.

Who would EVER kiss this shit? by Jackonthelongwalk The ultimate wish fulfillment fic we ALL need, i.e. Demetri Volunteering As Tribute when Eli starts panicking about Kyler saying no one would ever kiss that shit! After how CRUSHED Eli was after that scene, and how much I KNOW Demetri wanted to prove Kyler the Megadouche wrong, this was BEYOND cathartic. Also, nothing will ever be funnier to me than Demetri not noticing Eli’s texts...because he’s busy scouring the internet trying to figure out if he’s gay for Eli XD And Demetri kisses him??? So SOFTLY and TENDERLY??? I CRI

Spoilers for My Valentine by Asphodelia A recent favorite! I read this while gorging myself on a bunch of discount candy I bought the day after Valentine’s Day, which made it all the better XD This was so great, like Demetri just utterly trolling Hawk by getting him all these genuinely thoughtful little gifts that spoil the shit out of all the “nerd shit” he used to watch is the perfect blend of hilarious and adorable. And Demetri being a cocky little shit about his big master scheme to lure Eli back to the side of the light, and bragging about said scheme to Miguel??? Priceless. Also, the flashback to little Eli giving little Demetri all of his valentines because he didn’t didn’t like anyone else in their class??? Incredible. 10/10. An inspiration. And Eli’s utter obliviousness that Demetri is into him is, of course, priceless. And Demetri’s simple little love poems to Eli toward the end were just so understatedly sweet. Honestly, this one was entirely worth it solely for the line “Are you trying to fuck the nerd back into me?” Absolutely iconic.

Indelible by Emma_Oz So someone basically took the idea of Hawk saying “You may be a pussy, but you’re MY pussy” to Demetri and made it into a fanfiction...and it’s actually brilliant??? The slow evolution of Hawk going from calling Demetri pussy (derogatory) to pussy (affectionate) is just...fantastic??? And one of the rare examples of a soulmate-esque AU I can actually get into...I’m usually not big into soulmate AUs, if mainly because I’m not crazy about the whole there’s-a-person-you’re-cosmically-obligated-to-date thing XD But this one was EXCELLENT, especially with Hawk having the slow realization that being a “pussy” the way Johnny and Kreese talk about isn’t inherently a bad thing. And him learning to appreciate Demetri for not running headfirst into every fight and settling everything with his fists like an idiot “badass?” HERE. FOR. IT. Also seeing a bit of their childhood friendship and Demetri’s unrequited love angst was just *chef’s kiss*, even though it made my heart hurt real bad. Worth it in the end, though!

Friends Kiss, Right? by AKW_aka_Awkward A pretty great fic my buddy wrote based on the headcanon that’s been floating around in the Binary Boyfriends fandom that Demetri and Eli definitely did some romantic stuff pre-Cobra Kai without actually realizing it was romantic because...they were each other’s only friend, so they had no basis of comparison XD Seeing all of Demetri’s friends react to him thinking giving your friends comfort kisses ON THE MOUTH was normal was downright hilarious. Also the fact that Demetri has to seriously consider whether he would make out with Miguel before going “mmmm not into it” and Anthony’s brief but brilliant cameo are the BEST FUCKIN THING.

Balance by scifigeek14 Probably the best take I’ve seen on the “Hawk and Demetri use the balance wheel!” trope. And, of course, lots of bantering and talking about nerd shit, which I am ALWAYS down for. And Hawk and Demetri apologizing to each other!!! In depth!!! AND DEMETRI BEING JUST UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH BOTH HAWK AND ELI??? EMBRACING BOTH HIS BEST FRIEND’S SIDES AND LOVING THEM BOTH WITH ALL HIS HEART??? ABSOLUTELY, POUR THAT SHIT OVER ME LIKE A GODDAMN RAINSTORM. And Demetri saying how he should always have been proud of Eli, and then shouting about how proud he is to have Eli as a best friend??? Eli is crying, and SO THE FUCK AM I. Also Demetri being like “He pretends to like Dungeons and Dragons because he knows I like it!” HAHAHAHA what a good friend XD AND THEY KISS ON THE WATER WHEEL, FUCK YES. Also bonsai tree trimming and symbolism??? Daniel LaRusso having snark to rival Demetri’s simultaneously with ancient wisdom about balance and trust??? Demetri asking Eli to be his boyfriend VIA BONSAI TREE (it makes sense in context, I promise)??? LIVING. FOR. IT.

Who You Are Inside by Asphodelia A Golden Compass AU!!! Excellent!!! Demetri’s daemon being a chameleon was surprisingly brilliant--I honestly imagined it being a cat or something, but a chameleon actually fits so much better, considering he always wanted to be invisible. And the part where his daemon is walking around his desk imitating Hawk had me fucking WHEEZING. Also Eli’s daemon as a smol angeri bird, divebombing him? PRICELESS. A bonus is that the daemons for the other characters are also like 1000% appropriate, especially Miguel’s and Johnny’s.  A very good time indeed!

Multi-Parters

It’s the connection we cannot series by tudou4646 Basically just a series of really wholesome one-shots about Demetri and Hawk dating, starting after Hawk gets ambushed by the Cobras and Demetri realizes his feelings for him (and Hawk and Demetri??? Realizing via massive freakout when one of them gets hurt that they’re into each other??? I LIVE FOR THAT SHIT). It shows little snippets of their relationship after the dojo merge and it’s just CUTE AS FUCK. 10/10 banter and fluff, would read again. Also in the latest chapter they cosplay as Starlord and Gamora!!! My god, I was SCREAMING.

Flowers for You by WanderingSpiritCC The fic that taught me what the fuck a hanahaki AU actually is!!! Basically a look at the events of Season 3 from Hawk’s POV, but with him being...more explicitly aware that he’s in unrequited love with Demetri D: Also showcases how Hawk fights physically and Demetri fights with words pretty amazingly. Includes such other desirable tropes as Kreese being an absolute fuck, Demetri rambling and complaining about the movie endlessly all throughout Movie Night, Demetri talking a lot in general and Hawk absolutely loving it, adorable flashbacks to them both being younger and Demetri and Demetri alone getting Eli through the really hard days, and of course the Cobras fucking Hawk up and Demetri UTTERLY FREAKING OUT because OH GOD NO PLEASE DON’T HURT MY LITTLE ELI HE IS MY ENTIRE WORLD DON’T YOU DARE TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME (--Demetri any time Hawk/Eli gets hurt, probably). And Demetri??? Apologizing to Hawk for HIS part in their issues and falling out??? AGREEING TO CALL HIM HAWK IF HE WANTS??? ALWAYS cathartic (still holding out hope for some canon variation of this!!!). And Demetri fully loving and accepting “Hawk” as well as “Eli”??? MY HEART CAN’T FUCKIN TAKE IT, I’M TOO HAPPY

(You Can’t Handle) Somebody Loving You by hunkydorkling Oh my, someone is sneaking Demetri LOVE NOTES! Who could it be??? Heh, a lovely valentine’s day fic featuring one of my all-time favorite fanfic tropes--one half of the OTP sneaks the other love notes and shenanigans ensue!!! I even tried writing one of these fics, back in the day XD ANYWAYS this satisfied alllll my jealous!Hawk needs, and also??? Demetri being an idiot??? For 6 chapters straight??? Utterly fantastic. Also just really loved the dynamic between Hawk, Miguel, and Demetri in this, and the pretty realistic take on what a friendship between Hawk and Demetri would actually look like after they’ve grown back together after the Christmas fight, but Hawk still being the snarky, overconfident, hot-tempered fuck that he is and also salty as all hell about how oblivious Demetri is XD. And at the end, THEY WRASSLE! THEY SMOOCH! THEY ARE NO LONGER PAINFULLY OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT THEY ARE IN LOVE! GLORIOUS! And Demetri yelling at Hawk to not be so self-loathing or he’ll beat him up??? The serotonin rush was UNREAL.

Can’t Fight This Feeling by SlySilver Another recent favorite! Do you like Sadboi Eli??? Do you love hurt/comfort fics??? This is the fic for you!!! Admittedly the they/them pronouns for Eli took a little getting used to, but I think the nonbinary Eli idea is a really fascinating concept and I love reading people’s takes on it! And of course, I am absolutely ALWAYS a slut for fics that have Autistic Eli on display, in his/their full glory!!! Like man, I eat that shit up like Halloween candy. There’s a part where Eli gets super stressed out and goes nonverbal for a bit, but Eli and Demetri worked out kind of a hand-tapping language to use in those kind of situations when they were kids so that they can still communicate, and reading about it makes me absolutely WEAK because that is ADORABLE. Plus Sam and Miguel show up and hang with the dudes!!! Sam and Eli talk things out!!! Like the fluff???? Demetri being a supportive boyfriend??? Eli getting to heal from their trauma??? Excellent. Utterly flawless.

Ongoing

Breaking the Hawk by OptimisticallyCynical Well, I can hardly compile a list of quality Hawkmetri fanfiction without mentioning this one, now can I? It started out as basically a super dark take on the question “What if Demetri just..snapped?” Like what if he finally had enough of Hawk’s bullying and abuse, and just decided to use their past relationship to get the ultimate revenge and mindfuck Hawk into absolute oblivion? I’ll admit, for a while I was just following because I was morbidly curious what utterly fucked up thing would happen next XD But then Demetri and Hawk actually...talk through their issues eventually??? And start dating??? I was not expecting the surprisingly wholesome turn, but I’m absolutely not complaining. And in later chapters, we get an interesting subplot of Robby becoming close friends with Hawk, and both Demetri and Hawk have to reconcile their close friendships with Robby with their close friendships with Miguel, since Miguel and Robby reeeeally don’t like each other. This story has been, and continues to be, an utterly wild ride, but you best believe I’m in it for the long haul.

Second Chances by Asphodelia A wacky magic AU where Demetri uses some supernatural meddling to accidentally swap the “Hawk” from his timeline with the earlier “Eli” from another timeline, so essentially Hawk and Eli swap places and shenanigans and angst ensue. Honestly both really interesting and lowkey heartbreaking to see how Hawk interacts with pre-Cobra Kai Demetri when he’s launched back into that relationship, and how Eli reacts to suddenly having a bright red mohawk and being in the middle of a dojo war where he’s pitted against his best friend. Also Hawk trying to karate-train pre-Cobra Kai Demetri so he can be “toughened up” by the time the inevitable dojo war comes into the picture, and Demetri being utterly appalled at the thought of him and Eli ever hurting each other, even if it’s just in sparring??? Excuse me while I go cry.

binary boys by extremebipanic Cobra Kai from Demetri and Eli’s point of view!!! Right now it’s still pre-Hawk, but it’s full of fluff and wholesome friendship moments and Demetri and Eli just blatantly crushing on each other and it’s great <3 Honestly a really great interpretation of what their friendship might’ve been like in Season 1, behind the scenes. Also love the take on how they react to Miguel--both happy to have a new friend, but kind of nervous about how the addition of a new person will change their dynamic with each other. I just know this fic’s gonna rip my heart out and stomp on it as soon as Eli turns into Hawk and shit goes down and I am SO ready for it but also terrified, anyways LET’S GOOOOOO

Sick of Losing Soulmates by Hope15 Y’all want a brutally realistic, slow-burn Eli redemption arc??? Look no further!!! Also an AU where Demetri and Eli were secret boyfriends before Cobra Kai, and a lot of Eli’s self-loathing and destructive behavior comes from internalized homophobia and hating that he’s gay, which is a really compelling take. Also the angst in this absolutely GIVES ME LIFE, even though it makes my heart hurt. Demetri’s anger, while hurting to read, is super realistic. And I really love Eli’s steely determination to fix ALL the broken relationships in his life--not just with Demetri, but with Miguel and Johnny too!!! Elimetri may be Best Ship but we DO NOT disregard the other important relationships in Eli’s life in this house. Also ELI HAS A LITTLE SISTER WHO LOVES DEMETRI, I’M DYING, THAT’S SO CUTE

Getting Back to Us by AKW_aka_Awkward Do you like angst??? Do you like reading about the Cobras targeting Demetri to get revenge on Hawk and then Hawk going absolutely fucking FERAL because he will NOT have that shit??? Do you want to see poor Hawk have a breakdown over Deme getting hurt and get some heartwarming moments where Johnny and Daniel attempt to comfort their Disaster Son??? This is the fic for you! Also Demetri having a foster mom and a not-great home life in general was a really interesting take that I don’t see a lot and a pretty neat concept to explore. Although it DOES add some tension between Eli and Demetri when Eli’s forced to reveal Demetri’s in the foster system, which made my heart ache even more than it already does for them every day D: Here’s to hoping my boys can be happy eventually!!!

Pinning this because every homie who comes to my blog deserves good Binary Boyfriend fic recommendations!

Also sorry I haven’t been doing asks lately, it’s because I’ve been working on this monster of a post!!! Hopefully I can get back to them now!