#my dad has always been but he more or less treats it as a hobby(still bad)

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

It's very fun having parents who are conspiracy theorists

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

this might be weird to ask on a writing blog but do you have any manga recs?

yeah i got some recs! i'm gonna assume you mean less talked about titles rather than more well-known but quickfire popular recs i have are: chainsaw man, fullmetal alchemist, jjba, fruits basket, jjk and hell's paradise. but onto my other recs:

seinen

children of the sea**: a troubled teen named ruka embarks on the summer adventure of a lifetime after meeting two boys raised by dugongs at her dad's aquarium in the middle of a mysterious event taking place in the ocean.

the summer hikaru died: it's been months since yoshiki's childhood friend and secret crush, hikaru, went missing in the mountains for a week. hikaru's the same as usual, with his jokes and silly rambles and yet, yoshiki can't shake the feeling that whoever came back from that mountain, it wasn't hikaru. much to his horror, it wasn't. but rather than face reality and grief, yoshiki decides to play along with "hikaru's" act (body horror)

dorohedoro**: in a world where there are humans and magic users, humans have it rough being virtually treated as second class citizens. day after day, year after year, magic users come to the human realm to experiment on them with their magic. and after having his head turn into a caiman, kaiman, wants to get it back in blood and have his true form restored (body horror)

witch hat atelier*: in a world full of magic and witches, it's always been normal human girl coco's dream to be one. but after accidentally discovering a truth of this world and her mom getting caught up in the spell, coco becomes an apprentice of witch qifrey. (it was recently announced there's an anime in the works!)

skip & loafer**: desiring to become a government official to revitalize her hometown in the japanese countryside, iwakura mitsumi's first step to accomplish this goal is by going to a uni prep high school in tokyo. she's got a foolproof 10-step plan to boot! but of course, life hardly ever goes as plan, not even for a prodigy (mc's aunt has great trans rep)

jousei

sign of affection*: as someone deaf all her life, yuki has dealt with discrimination in both small and broad strokes. nor has she ever experienced romance. this all changes when she meets backpacker itsumi, a guy who goes to the same uni. just as he opens her world, she opens his

debu to love to ayamachi to***: after waking up in a hospital with no memories to her name, plus sized yumeko is told she is there after surviving a suicide attempt. the thing is, yumeko isn't sure why when she's just so beautiful! with a strong desire to live life to the fullest, yumeko decides to do everything the past her was to afraid to do. all the while it is revealed that her suicide attempt was more of an attempted murder... but who could have wanted to kill her?

my love story with yamada-kun at lv999**: nothing is worse than getting cheated on especially after akane invested a lot of time and energy into her shitty ex's gaming hobbies. but through gaming, not only does akane find herself healing, she managed to get herself a pretty cool boyfriend too

NANA**: 2 women, 2 different lives, 1 name shared. komatsu nana is quick to fall in love and after a series of less-than-lucky relationships, she finally has someone she thinks is the one. abandoned by her mother and her ex leaving her band, osaki nana hasn't had the easiest life. but on the same night, on the same train, these two women meet and their lives become deeply intertwined

shoujo

a condition called love*: when it comes to romance, hotaru's never experienced it besides stories of her friends relationships. but she soon finds herself about to experience the whirlwind of a lifetime when hananoi, the most popular boy in school, asks her to be his girlfriend

a bouquet for an ugly girl***: as her class' resident big girl, hana isn't expecting a blossoming spring in her high school career. and she's okay with that. she has everything she needsー otome games and gardening. but after her class' pretty boy catches her in the midst of changing the class flowers, their lives become a bit more intertwined

uruwashi no yoi no tsuki: yoi is quite popular at her school because of her neat short hair, beautiful face and overall princely appearance. in fact, it's gotten her dubbed 'prince' many times. but when the other prince of the school finally meets her, cupid's arrow quickly knocks him on his ass

shounen

frieren**: a manga that picks up after the journey has ended. the demon king has been defeated and the heroes have saved the day after 10 years of traveling together. 10 years? that's not even a 10th of elf mage frieren's life. but as her companions begin dying one by one of old age, she finds herself desiring to learn more about humans and the short yet impactful lives they still manage to have

dungeon meshi*: when a dungeon raid goes terribly wrong and laios' sister gets swallowed by a dragon, those that remain in his party decide to get it back in blood by saving laios' sister before she gets digested. in the mean time, there's nothing wrong with gordon ramsay-ing miscellaneous ingredients found in the dungeon along the way, right?

and if you like manhwa or would be down for some manhwa recs these are titles i don't see getting recommended enough

concubine walkthrough: a scifi & philosophical spin on the otome isekai genre that asks 'what is reality truly?', 'is your life any less real if you found out all your experiences were a simulation?' and 'what is reality to you?' where protagonist lee yona finds herself stuck in a VR edition of a game she only played once

a wicked tale of cinderella's stepmother: usually when someone wakes up in the body of a villainess, she's the same age as the protagonists. mildred, on the other hand, is stuck in the body of this story's cinderella's stepmother. with no husband and three daughters to take care of, there's only one thing she can really doー build up her daughters' sisterly bonds with one another and make sure they marry into good families (or that they can at least live lives they're happy with)

tricked into becoming the heroine's stepmother: at least mildred got the body of an important character, daisy on the other hand? she's in the body of an NPC you never even see in the story. bright side? this is a story she helped write and after meeting the presently six year old protagonist's father, she and father of the year decide to team up for the ultimate mission: making sure his daughter never meets any of the love interests

inso's law: ham dan-i is in a bit of a pickle when she wakes up and her new school uniform is completely different than the one her mom bought weeks ago. there's a drop dead gorgeous girl next door who claims to be her childhood best friend. even worse, like something straight out of a drama, there are four heavenly kings that rule her school. by the end of the day, dan-i has no other choice but to accept the fact........ her real life has somehow turned into a web novel. even worse, she's a side characterー the main character's best friend

webtoons

plum: in a world where fruit stacking is a major sport, little plum decides to be the very best like no one ever was and moves to the big city to compete in the fruit stacking games along with making some friends and rivals along the way

webtoons that are probably popular enough if they have hardcover copies at my local bookstore but i wanna talk about it anyway

cursed princess club: as the youngest princess of the pastel kingdom, gwendolyn loves her family. her protective papa, her oldest sister maria who often awakes to woodland creatures doing her hair. her older sister lorena who makes flowers bloom with her every step. and her younger brother jamie who's so pretty, he sparkles. and they adore her just as much. but things come to a very reality shattering halt when their father introduces maria, lorena and gwen to blaine, lance and frederick, the princes of the plaid kingdom and gwen overhears frederick call her ugly, something she's never heard in her entire life. somehow, gwen finds comfort in a club full of cursed princesses (and one prince) who teach her how to start loving herself again

key

*) receiving an anime adaptation

**) has an an anime series or movie

***) receiving an anime adaptation & contains a story with a plus-sized protagonist that doesn't involve weight loss

[torque-witch]

TW Trauma

But as my personal diary, there’s something I wanted to touch on as I continue to navigate whether my mannerisms are autism or cptsd.

(Yes, my therapist gave me a list of neuro-psych evals I can pursue, but these things cost money or could cost my medical paper trail for future endeavors bc of how fucked everything is)

Looking back now, it’s fairly clear that autism does run in the family, particularly with my sister as she very clearly displays textbook mannerisms, high stakes social grievances, high IQ, sensory limits, etc. I can see that my Dad is probably the culprit as he’s literally been neck-deep in a hobby for 30+ years and LIVES at his office and doesn’t have social interactions outside of customers. Meaning he literally doesn’t sleep at home. And my parents aren’t divorced. (They should be)

But like my personal grievance, as I’m aware that I’ve socially been more flexible, is that I’m realizing all of these characteristics later in life that are still somehow a product of trauma, and that can be confusing.

I shut down and go non-verbal during high-stress or confrontational situations. I remember that I started doing this because my mom would never accept what I had to say when I was defending myself, so I just stopped talking and looked blankly at her while I disassociated. This made her even angrier bc she assumed I didn’t care about my own personal failings. At some point that turned into laughter and I still do that when something is upsetting to me or physically painful. To the point my dad called me a masochist at 13.

My mom would ask me how my day was every day and I would just say “good.” And not expand because there were no follow up questions. It made her angry bc she assumed I just didn’t want her to know. And to a point, I didn’t. She made it so that after she was done homeschooling me she inserted herself into the public school in the music program, that me and my sister were in, so almost none of our interpersonal relationships and interactions were private. It was a defense mechanism.

I had a very obsessive approach to middle and high school crushes. To the point that my crushes noticed and called my behavior repulsive and creepy and generally treated me poorly. It got less creepy after 10th grade. But it basically just meant that I was living in a fantasy world in my brain and over-estimating my importance in other people’s lives. I still somewhat do that. But I also wonder if my parents essentially teaching me that relationships are evil and never having a sex talk (literally ever) made me hyper-focus on everything I could be missing out on. On top of me never seeing them hug or kiss in 30 years of being alive.

I also didn’t understand hierarchies in high school, or any social setting. I was friends with teachers. I had multiple different kinds of friend groups, and sometimes they would get angry that I would hang out with other groups. I was always confused why popular people avoided me or would be fake to me. Or yes, I would be duped by them and become the joke.

I was clearly being used by certain friends and I went along with it because I wanted their validation and connection. But was this all because I wasn’t getting that at home?

And for a while I think I just went through different periods of my life after/through college adapting to specific groups and ripping myself from them violently when I felt threatened or unappreciated as I learned quite late to stand up for myself and recognize that I was being used. I became a new person every time and very independent.

I’m certain of who I am now, but who might I be tomorrow? As an adult I don’t think I’ll change that much now that I have a solid understanding of my morals, needs, societal niche - but I do acknowledge that I have been many people I hate in order to avoid being perceived. Becoming disabled changed a lot for me because it was immutable. But my personality has always adapted to the people around me or my work.

So is that a trauma response? Or was my very existence a breeding ground for trauma to be incurred on me.

The last one is super super TW for abuse, but I think what really seals it for me is when growing up I just really didn’t understand the importance of cleaning and/or may have been struggling with ADHD as well. My mom was very upset that I just “couldn’t” seem to clean my room properly, that I wasn’t bothered by it, and that I would “forget on purpose.”

She straight up called me r*tarded. Threatened to put me in a boarding school or military-like reconditioning for “bad kids.”

But I now know the problem was that she just never explained the importance, nor gave me a step by step description of how to do it. And that was just plan negligence. It’s hard to connect with her now remembering that. Because it still shapes my meltdowns. I’m stupid. I can’t do anything right. Nothing WORKS. I’m trying my best and nothing is happening. I resist learning because it feels painful if I can’t do it on my own terms.

So yeah. Maybe an unnecessary ramble, but that’s sort of my dilemma as I try to unravel why I exist like this. Especially in the work force again and noticing it big time.

[the-creepy-guy-around-the-corner]

Excuse the screaming on here, don't want to scream on twitter because thats easier to connect back to me and this is stupid enough I really don't want to talk to folks I know IRL about this.

And this is gunna be like mega privileged problems so putting it in a cut just need to scream to the void

Aghhhhhh my dad is selling his business. Which is fine, but I still rely on my parents for support a lot financially. I feel awful, I'm a grown ass adult with a full time job but life is expensive and my parents agreed to help support me because I'm super passionate about my job but it's a job that famously does not pay well. For about ten or fifteen years I got REALLY lucky, dads business was doing amazing, I got to live a very privileged fun life for I'd say about ten years. I got two college degrees out of it, got to live in multiple countries, traveled a lot, got to enjoy expensive hobbies, I built a wonderful wardrobe and collection of nice things..... and just the general feeling of not having to stress about bills or basic expenses. Then dads business got stolen from to the tune of several hundred thousand dollars this last year, and he ate the whole cost so no one else would be effected benefits or jobs wise. So I tightened my belt so I could ask less from them, and I'm now barely scraping by. Each paycheck I now have a hundred or so to my name before I get paid again. Ive hardly been able to touch the debt I've been trying to pay down. And now that he's selling the business that flashing light of 'no help' is getting bigger and closer and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. Sort of panicked and went on a huge spree canceling as many subscriptions as I can (I already deleted most of them, but it broke my heart to start canceling subscriptions to friends patreon's or artists I want to support or to favorite games and such), deleted all of my worst spender apps from my phones, and looking into more side gigs. I really have no room to complain, this is no more than most people have to do and I'm honestly still incredibly lucky and blessed. But I'm going to miss being able to pick up the bill for friends or buying them presents, I'm really going to miss leaving huge tips on places, and GOD I am going to miss traveling, I already do. My friends are planning a trip to Japan rn and I'm so happy for them but I know I cant afford it no matter how much I want to go.

But most of all I'm going to miss the lack of stress. I went from never having to look at the price of the menu at a nice restaurant to eating nothing but tuna fish sandwiches for the rest of the week because I don't want to spend more money on food. Like I'm gunna be fine, I'm not going to starve, but the stress of money has been dwindling my already not super great mental health and the knowledge that it will always be this way from here on, is frankly fucking terrifying. Spending the rest of my life doing the mental gymnastics I need to make sure I have enough money for bills each month, and knowing I wont be able to buy a house or really build up savings (at least not until my parents die, and I am understandably not wanting that to happen either) is fucking depressing.

Especially knowing that if I have kids I wont be able to give them the opportunities I had growing up. I've for so long tied my self worth to gifting things to others, buying meals, treating my friends and so on. I really am going to have to tackle how I view my self worth and what I bring to the table friendship wise because gifts and generosity are things I just cant afford right now and with the job I have I don't know if I ever will again. (well.... unless I marry rich lol) I'll figure it all out, look for more expenses I can cut, look for more side jobs and so on. I'm probably making it out to be worse than it is, but having such a radical change in lifestyles has a bit of whiplash that really stings. Hopefully after a while I can start paying down my debt more which will help with interest rates, and if I keep cutting down on expenses maybe I'll be able to start saving. I doubt anyone has read this, if you did thanks for listening to me whine and I hope you have a good day.

[blonkk]

i get so emotionally turbulent in the airport. maybe it’s because i’m always going off 2 hours of sleep and it takes me 2 hours to drive to the airport and i always book 6am flights and i always drink the night before. anyways i read this reddit post where this kids stepdad always financially provides fairly for him and his bio kids but excludes the stepson from special trips etc. he told the stepson it’s bc those are his bio kids and he wants to spend time with them and show them they mean more to him by virtue of being blood etc. he raised the stepson since he was one and shows preferential treatment to his bio kids, one of whom is the stepsons half sister. so the stepson responded by calling him by his first name rather than “dad” and stepdad got upset and hurt…anyways that story made me cry. idk i guess maybe it’s “natural” to other a kid who’s not “yours” biologically but jesus christ. you can’t treat a kid that way, exclude them, let them know they are less loved….irresponsible and cruel imo, no matter how you truly feel….

so there’s that. and then i saw this old dude handing presumably his wife a box of timbits and i got all gushy. and this older couple across from me is so cute the lady is just resting on her man’s chest and he’s just sitting there doing his thang. idk man i’m probably pmsing. i also have been reflecting on my loneliness and it’s imminent return LOL all my friends are leaving where i live soon and i’ll be alone..but i guess that’s my lot in life? that’s the way it is. there’s a lot of people i really love and appreciate even if they’re not the ideal friends/what have you. one being my roommate, a 50yo dude who does nothing but drink beer and smoke weed and talks about missing his daughter who he goes to see like once a year. i don’t agree with that aspect of his life (go see your KID instead of buying a new dirt bike !!) but man i have a lot of affection for him. he’s very generous and caring and kind and he channels his misplaced fatherly energy towards myself and the other younger workers on the mountain. i genuinely get along with him, and when he was with his daughter over the weekend i missed him…like i would get home and be like damn drew’s not here :/ and literally all we do is yap after-work style and sometimes watch shows. but idk he’s my favourite roommate this far which is crazy. idk it’s weird you never know who the people who actually make a difference in your life will be; it would have been so easy to write him off had i not bothered getting to know him. he’s a redneck, a sort of absent dad (he pays child support and knows everything ab her and supports her hobbies . he loves his daughter but. he’s gotta try harder to see her despite her living a few hours away) , he smokes cigs like a fiend, drinks beer like water, he passes out on the couch every single night of his life to dirt bike videos/sasquatch stories/random singing shows, is a typical tradesman. like it would be natural for me to judge his character based on those things. he’s actually one of the people who consistently takes my side when feminism comes up and always tells the other dudes “she’s right” etc. idk i just really am thankful to live somewhere where i’m comfortable with someone lol

& the other people i’ve met within the last year of my life have made me a better person and a happier person. somehow i really recovered a lot in the shithole where i live. dead end job, unfamiliar types of people , weird isolation. a lot of the shame i’ve carried my whole life has dissipated. i’ve been more myself than any other time in my life; and i don’t fear people’s rejection if i say what i truly believe or feel. sometimes there’s disagreements and some arguing, but it never ends badly, and weirdly i know i have peoples respect, even if they don’t agree with me or understand me. that’s what the key is i think — all my life with my family i’ve feared their rejection, their scrutiny, and their wrath. i’ve been scared to lose their love and respect because i was constantly threatened with it, and i experienced it countless times. the things the members of my immediate family have said to me, the things they’ve called me, the ways they’ve rejected me and punished me for being who i am has really damaged me and i always lived with it, bringing it into other relationships and friendships, not understanding that it was impacting literally every aspect of my life; how i interact with people being the main thing. it’s impacted my self esteem to such a degree with i could never make genuine friends and connections because i always went along with what other people said so they wouldn’t punish me. i let people treat me like dogshit because it’s what i was used to and what i thought love/acceptance costed. it even affected how i performed at work and what type of work i’ve tried to succeed at as an adult. it’s why i’m so lost and messed up and rootless. it’s why i have no idea what i want, and why for so many years i had no idea who i was.

for the first time in my life i feel accepted , if not loved. it’s enough to make me extremely emotional. it’s enough to make me happy because i could literally never imagine feeling so safe in my life. i love my parents and family but my god. what they’ve done to me can’t be reversed, though some things are beginning to repair

also i’m listening to the divorced dad playlist on spotify and it’s hitting. live laugh love!!!!

[journalofsorts2]

yesterday my dad was talking with me and my sister and he was talking about something i did and said 'she', so i corrected him and said "you mean he" and he got confused cause he didn't understand what i was talking about, and i was like "you mean he, you said she" and he was like 'oh' and did that signature dad sigh and then repeated what he said the first time but instead of 'she' he said 'they' and me and my sister just gave each other this look y'know. like OH MY FUCKING GOD what the fuck man, idk that made me really mad cause he's really bad at using my correct pronouns and he's really bad at not referring to me as his daughter, and when i was trying out a new name he used it maybe three times total over the course of a couple months and then he got mad at me for not telling him that i don't use that name anymore but i thought he just forgot about it because he just hadn't used it. and like now i don't want to tell him the name i'm trying out (eren) because he just wouldn't use it y'know? idk i just don't think he understands how important this is to me and like he treats it like it's just some new thing i'm into that i'm going to eventually not care about anymore, and like this is why i don't tell him about my hobbies and shit because he acts like he just couldn't care less y'know? idk it just feels like he's not taking any of this seriously and my whole life it's felt like he always has something more important than me or my issues or whatever. and like adults i interact with always say it's so obvious that he loves me and cares for me but it doesn't feel that way. i can't remember the last time he ever even told me he loved me. idk man. i saw something about abusive parents how you have the "good" parent and the "bad parent" but as you get older you realize the "good" parent sat by and let the "bad" parent do the abuse, like how sometimes just being a bystander does do damage, and like it's a good sign that you don't have to accept the "lesser of two evils" y'know. that's how i've been feeling with my dad lately. for so long he was the "good" parent and my mom was the "bad" parent, but now i don't talk to my mom and she's barely in the picture anymore and i've come to realize my dad isn't that good of a parent either. and i get that my mom was abusive to him to, i'm not saying he did bad y'know, i'm just saying he didn't do enough. he wasn't enough. and maybe this is me maturing, or maybe this is me being a spoiled brat like my mom says i am, idk. my dad just always seems like he has something better to do than being a parent. idk idk i have a lot of issues with my dad but they stay bottled up because any time i try to talk to him about this it turns into a fight and if i shed even a single tear he starts yelling a lot because my mom used tears as a weapon but i'm just crying because his actions hurt me y'know? idk maybe i'm just a manipulative little bitch. idk man, everything always goes wrong in my life and the common denominator is always me. maybe i'm the problem. idk man. i think i just ask too much of my dad. i should just stop being such a problem y'know? all i ever do is cause problems for people because i can't just shut my fucking mouth and learn to deal with shit. i should've just played nice with my mom, and i should stop telling my dad about my concerning symptoms, and i should wait till i'm 18 and can handle it myself to start t and get top surgery. i should just shut up and shut myself in my room. no one notices when i do anyways, people always seem happier when i leave them alone. idk man, rant over, i fucking hate myself

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

[razorblade180]

Nine Days of Lancaster

[Day 9: Dance]

In the midst of uncertainty and the fallout of an election, Jacques Schnee has sent invitations to a party. None the wiser, Jaune has only recently returned to the academy and is looking for his friends.

Jaune:Ruby? Hello? Where is everyone one? *opens door* Ru- Ruby?

The girl is startled, hoping up from her chair. Her scroll projected a giant screen that played ballroom dance videos, which Jaune found more than a little odd.

Jaune:Uhhh taking up a hobby?

Ruby:Hardly. Weiss’s dad as invited the General to a party to celebrate his win. It’s mainly to try and kick Ironwood off the council. It’s an all hands on deck kind of situation.

Jaune:Okay. Still not really getting all of…this.

Ruby:Unfortunately, we were told that it would be in our best interest to “mingle” and “work the room.” Apparently standing guard doesn’t give off the appropriate impression.

Jaune:Ah, socializing, your worst fear

Ruby:Untrue! Besides it’s not like you’re exactly a pro at it.

Jaune:Fair, but I don’t need to prepare by watching waltzing tutorials.

Ruby:*red* Anything could happen! I could standing near a punch bowl when some random stranger asks for a dance, catching me off guard and ends with hurt feet and punch on the dance floor!

Jaune:That moment at the dance seems to be more traumatic for you then the chance encounter with Cinder that same night.

Ruby:I fear no battleground but a dance floor.

Jaune:Hate to break it to ya. Those videos are not gonna help. You just need to learn basic steps with an actual partner. Fortunately for you, I’m pretty confident in my skills.

Ruby:That’s what they all say before I step on your feet.

Jaune:Hehe, nothing I can’t handle.

He closed the door behind him and moved all the chairs out of the way. Jaune grabbed Ruby’s scroll to switch her tutorials to classic music then stood before her, hand out.

Ruby took his hand easy enough then let out a gasp as he suddenly got very close. Less than an inch between them. His left moved to her lower back, putting just enough pressure on it; while his right hand had a gentle yet for grip. Has Jaune always been this tall? Ruby didn’t remember having to look up into his before.

Jaune:I’ll lead.

Ruby:O…kay~

For some reason, Ruby started getting nervous. Slowly, he leaned to the right, taking a step for her to follow. Step by step he telegraphed his movements for her to read, gradually picking up the pace as she caught on.

Jaune:See? You’re getting it.

Ruby:Beginners luck.

Jaune:Even so, there’s never been anything you couldn’t do when you put your mind to it. Just think of this as another team attack.

Ruby:Hehe, not sure how enemies would feel if I yelled “ladybug” and then busted out into a dance.

Jaune:I sure would be caught off guard. Deception is half the battle.

Ruby:Dork. Anyways, I’m only as good as my partner. Guess that means you’re stuck with me. What’s that make us? Thorns and Swords?

Jaune:Hmmmm or….

Ruby felt Jaune’s hand brace her back more. He suddenly began to lean her way while holding her close. Ruby nearly panicked but managed to keep herself together as Jaune led her into a dip. Ruby looked over her shoulder to see just how low she had gotten then was treated with a surprise when she turned back around. Right above her face was the smiling knight, gazing right at her with the same friendly eyes he first greeted her with. Ruby felt her heart nearly stop, and her cheeks go red.

Jaune:How about Lancaster?

Ruby:S-Sure. I…I really like that name.

Jaune:Lancaster it is.

He brought her back up slowly as the song began to end. To Ruby’s shock, she was a bit saddened by both his hands finally let her go. The Reaper rubbed her head sheepishly while Jaune grabbed her scroll for her.

Jaune:I think you got this. It’s you after all.

Ruby:Thanks. Umm that was fun, surprisingly.

Jaune:Sometimes what makes a dance is the right partner. Anyways, I should really go find Ren, Nora, and Oscar. Talk to you in a little bit?

Ruby:Yeah, of course.

Jaune:*walking out*

Ruby:….Wait!

Jaune:Hmm?

Ruby:Umm, oh you know. I was just thinking…depending on how things go, maybe we can share a proper dance together?

Jaune:*smiles* I’d like that. Let’s do it.

Ruby:Cool. Uh, bye~

Jaune:Later Ruby. *closes door*

She sorta just…stood there for a moment. Ruby slowly took in a deep breath before letting it out even slower. The girl held her face, feeling the heat coming from it. Since when did dancing feel like that!? Jaune’s words echoed in her head. “The right partner.” Sounds like a line pulled right out of a fairytale. Then again, those were always her favorite stories.

Ruby: C’mon me, there’s bigger things to think about right now.

…….

Ruby:*blushing* Has he really always been that much taller than me?

[absolutepokemontrash]

ayo!! congrats on 666 <33 I'm not sure if its much of a request but I love how you wrote the demon kids personalities! I was wondering what kids of personalities you would see the other brothers kids having? Hypothetically of course (unless 👀)

BRO- I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while! Fan kids are fun to think about, what can I say? Now, these kids aren’t canon to the Awfully Familiar series, the HOL is crowded enough as is… but I hope you enjoy anyways!

(I’m giving all the kids names just so no one gets confused with which kid is whose)

Levi’s Kid

Uh let’s use probability to figure out how rare children of our snek boy are. The Otaku left the house (unlikely), spoke to a human being (very unlikely), did the devil’s tango with them (impossible)

I’m kidding, but seriously what the fuck why did this human exchange student look so much like Levi? Was that a tail? Hehehe… what a weird practical joke…

(I’m calling this MC Percy. Three guesses as to why)

Okay, onto the kiddo’s personality. I’m picturing them being REALLY hyped and REALLY enthusiastic about their hobbies and isn’t afraid to yammer about them. They’re good at what they do and they’re damn proud of it! They turn their envy into *~inspiration~* and get better at the things they enjoy doing!

In all fairness to Levi, it’s a bit easier for his kid because Percy isn’t literally being eaten alive and consumed by this sin every waking moment of his life… perks of being half human! :D

Percy loves swimming, and the ocean, and fish, and they brought a shark back from the beach- wait hang on a second-

It’s not uncommon for Levi to be hardcore gaming while Percy swims around in the fish tank.

The pair of them have a very good relationship, Percy is kind of Levi’s hero with how eager they are to get better at the things they love doing and how they almost never self pity spiral. The one issue is… ugh… Percy is a 🤢…. Sorry. Percy’s a 🤢 🤢-

They’re A FUCKING NORMIE. THEY DON’T LIKE ANIME!

Other than that, the two get along swimmingly. (Ba dum tisssss)

Percy’s reaction to Levi’s cool military titles is basically “WOAH! YOU HAVE BOATS?! CAN I GO ON ONE?!” And Levi would be a monster to decline.

Percy wore a pirate hat despite Levi telling them numerous times that they were a part of the navy, they CATCH pirates. Which are apparently still a big problem in the Devildom…

Also, Percy and Lotan absolutely adore each other. It makes Levi very happy

Satan’s Kid

Satan’s a pretty charming guy, and it’s canon that he’s amazing at seductive speech craft so it’s no surprise that he was able to seduce a human.

You know what is a surprise? The fact that Satan, the smart one, didn’t think to use protection! Like- DUDE I EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU.

Whatever, anyway, when this kid slammed onto the floor of the assembly hall no one had time to react when the kid suddenly grew horns… and fangs… and a tail… OH FUCK THE KID WAS GOING THROUGH THEIR FIRST TRANSFORMATION WHAT THE FUCK-

(For simplicity’s sake, I’m going to call this kid Lyssa, mainly because of the meaning of the name)

The first thing Lyssa did was launch themselves straight at the first person they saw, and I ask you to guess exactly who sits in the middle seat of the assembly hall. That’s right… Satan… yay…

This kid nearly clawed his face off in the span of two seconds and it took Lucifer and Beel working together to drag them off of him and then Asmo had to step in to use his powers to calm them down. Well. That was eventful.

So Lyssa has a volcanic temper and they’re honestly really bitter and upset at everything, which is something that’s supposed to come in adult life, not so early. So what’s up with this kid? Well, when you’re born with a burning rage deep inside you that can be set off at even the slightest inconvenience and because of that everyone around you immediately assumes you’re dangerous or crazy can really do some damage to a kid.

So who oh who is Lyssa going to blame for this…? Hmmm… who is responsible for the anger? *Side eyes Satan*

“Wow, this kid is blaming me for passing down my wrath even though I couldn’t control giving it to them and if I had the choice I would have made sure they wouldn’t have to live with it and they’re mad at me for subjecting them to existence itself… wow this feels so bad :( who would treat someone like this..?” “*Dad sigh*”

The two of them do eventually get along. It’s actually Satan who extends the olive branch and offers to help them control their anger. As the two spend time together, Lyssa’s intense hatred slowly subsides.

So… what’s Lyssa going to do now? They’ve spent so much of their life being defined by their anger… who the fuck are they????? U-uh… cats! Cats! Lyssa likes cats! Is liking cats a personality? No? Okay… um… Music! Music is relaxing! Lyssa likes music! Um… um… ooo- look at that! They like space! And stars!

You knew what they don’t like? School. Lyssa doesn’t like learning in a controlled environment where they’re being told what to learn. Leave them alone so they can go read about space.

Beelzebub’s kid(s)

*munch* *munch* *chew* *chomp* huh, *chomp* why does the takeout- I mean the human look so much like him…? They’re his kid..? *choke* *cough* *cough* …Huh. Want some chips?

Surprisingly chill first meeting. Well, Beel and the kid were chill, everyone else was freaking the fuck out.

I’m calling this kid Pepper. Why? Fucking guess.

Pepper themselves is just… chill. They’re sort of like a capybara, their vibes are just so immaculate that everyone wants to hang out around them.

Unlike Beel, Pepper’s penchant for food mainly comes from “food is good.” instead of “my body is literally eating itself alive every second of the day and I need to be eating something at almost all times in order to stave off a rampage.” Beel is very happy that his kid doesn’t have to live with food constantly on the brain.

All was well until three days into the exchange program when Pepper asked at the dinner table “so when are we bringing my twin down here?”

…twin genes man… twin genes…

Second kid, I’m calling them Cane. (CANE PEPPER, GET IT?! GET IT?!) this kid is less like a capybara and more like a honey badger. They don’t give a shit.

Here’s the thing though… they’re identical twins.

Cane is basically Beel but smaller. They follow Beel to the gym and usually get stopped at the door. “Kids aren’t allowed in the gym.” Ha, the rules don’t apply to Cane, they just cross their arms and raise their eyebrows and whoever is stopping them just steps aside. Don’t fuck with the honey badger kid.

Pepper and Cane are super close though, but don’t ask if they have a telepathic link or something, Cane will fuck you up and Pepper won’t be able to stop them. (I know a pair of identical twins, and the amount of times they’ve been asked if they can read each other’s minds is enough to make anyone homicidal)

Belphegor’s kid

*squints* how’d this happen..?

Whatever. When Belphie’s kid woke up on the floor of the assembly hall everyone took one look at this kid and collectively went “shitballs”

Belphie was in the attic and his kid was wandering around the house like they ran the place! What the fuuuuuuuuck was Lucifer supposed to do with this????

Anyway, meet Arien.

Arien, how does one describe this little hellspawn? Well, one would call them the brood of Lucifer or the spawn of Satan but that would be false because this manipulative evil devil-child that crawled straight out of a teacher’s nightmares is BELPHIE’S kid. And it fucking SHOWS.

This kid won the demon/human genetic lottery and they’re going to make it everyone’s problem. Basically, they’re sin is sloth, but unlike Belphie, Arien’s is more voluntary, if that makes sense. They sleep and slack off because they like not doing work, not because they’re always tired. They have this sort of lazy relaxed facade that vanishes the second it’s not needed, it’s honestly kind of terrifying.

They quickly learn that if they just pretend to be having troubles with being constantly tired, the rest of the house will go easy on them if they miss their chores and schoolwork.

Jeez Louise when this kid met Belphie…

They both just stared at each other for a solid five minutes before anyone said anything. Belphie somewhat nervously started up his “oh woe is me get me out of here :(“ charade, and the kid played along for a few weeks, until of course, they got suspicious.

You remember how Belphie guilt spiralled with L!MC? Yeah imagine that but 40 times worse, and he hadn’t even done anything yet.

But yeah, blah blah blah Arien breaks Belphie out, they don’t die, family’s back together, happily ever after. But not quite. Arien’s “oh no I’m sorry I’m sleepy…” charade was found out and boy howdy was everyone pissed.

Surprisingly, it was Belphie who gave Arien the wake up thwack, but Arien called Belphie out on his laziness so Belphie was forced to become a better example.

The way they fixed Ari’s behaviour? Extra chores, extra schoolwork, extra everything, and the boys did nothing to help. Basically, “this is how we felt! Deal with it!”

It worked… thankfully.

[realcube]

msby boys finding out their s/o is pregnant

navi | masterlist | taglist  

thank you to anon for this wholesome request 

content warning ♡ pregnant! reader, sexual references, swearing & fluff

characters ♡ sakusa, atsumu, bokuto & hinata

kiyoomi sakusa 

♡ he faltered

♡ there was half a minute of silence between the two of you; him just staring at your stomach while you gazed into his eyes

♡ he was almost certain that he misheard you, so he felt inclined to inquire, ‘huh?’ as indifferently as he could, though he wasn’t doing a good job of concealing the shocked expression on his face 

♡ ‘i said i’m pregnant, sweetie.’ you giggled, admiring the emotions he displayed on his face as it wasn’t a sight you got to see often

♡ sakusa continued to stare at you, eyes wide 

♡ though he knew what you meant, apart of him insisted that he was mishearing you 

♡ his wide-eyes were fixated on you, his lips slightly agape as he tried to process what you just said and what this meant for the both of you 

♡ the only emotion you could read of his face was shock. at first, you were sure that he was happy but he was just taking a while to accept it, but now that a few minutes had passed and he was still yet to say anything or even smile, you were starting to second guess yourself

♡ despite the fact sakusa had already agreed that he was on board with the idea of having a child many times before - in fact, there were nights where he’d admit that he can’t wait to start a family with you - but you still worried that perhaps he has now that had a change of heart

♡ that was until you noticed his eyes become unusually glossy and red, along with his cheeks adapting a somewhat red tint, ‘if this is a joke, (y/n), it’s not funny.’ his ordinary, monotone voice was now slightly shaky and low 

♡ ‘it’s not a joke, ‘iyoomi.’ you laughed, feeling your own throat go dry and your cheek flare up upon seeing how emotional sakusa had become

♡ before the tears spilled from your eyes, you felt sakusa’s arms slowly snake around your waist, place an elongated kiss on your forehead then rest his chin on your shoulder 

♡ he held you close enough that you could feel his rapid heartbeat thud against your chest and his wobbly breath tickle the back of your neck

♡ he stayed like that, silent, for a good few minutes 

♡ when he finally pulled away to admire your stomach, you noticed how his damp cheeks glistened in the light and you couldn’t help but smile

♡ although he wasn’t very vocal about how happy he was, his actions spoke a thousand words

♡ he’d insist in home-cooking all your food now because he didn’t want to risk you getting food poisoning 

♡ when he’d come home from practise, absolutely exhausted, the first thing he’d do when he gets home is  wash his hands then cut you some fruit 

♡ when he has free-time, he used to just watch TV but now he’s picked up a few hobbies of reading childcare books, tending to your every need/want and researching good baby names

♡ also, he’s so gentle with you - like, he was gentle with you before but this is a new extreme

♡ excluding the time he almost tackled you to the ground when you suggested atsumu as a baby name

♡ like he baby-proofs the house like a month into your pregnancy lmao 

kōtarō bokuto

♡ the corners of his lips slowly curl into a bright smile, ‘pregnant?’

♡ you cocked your head to the side slightly, then hummed, ‘yeah. pregnant.’

♡ ‘like..with a kid?’

♡ you snorted, playfully rolling your eyes, ‘i’d hope so.’

♡ ‘like..with my kid?’

♡ ‘our kid - but yes.’

♡ a while passed and he had yet to do anything besides stare at you in pure adoration so you prompted him by opening your arms 

♡ to which he immediately responded by throwing himself onto you, ‘I’m gonna be a dad?! like seriously?!’

♡ luckily you were sitting on your bed so you fell back onto that but you were still being smothered by his chest 

♡ ‘bo!’ you squealed and squirmed under his weight and tight grip, glad that he was as cheery as you had hoped but not appreciating being suffocated 

♡ he suddenly pulled away but kept his large hands glued to your shoulders, revealing the tears that were already streaming down his cheeks and dampened your shirt, ‘really?!’

♡ ‘yes, bokuto. i am 100% pregnant.’ you declared for the final time before bokuto cupped your face with his hands and pulled you in to a passionate kiss, not stopping until your lips were basically swollen

♡ he’s just so hyped during the first few days of your pregnancy and he’s just super duper ready to become a dad!

♡ like he’s already practising his dad jokes 

♡ but then you remind him that he’s gonna have to wait around 9 months before he can actually see his baby and his hair literally deflates 

♡ ugh how rude of you 

♡ can you not like...make it grow faster?? please??

♡ once you explain to him that’s not how babies work, he kinda accepts it and just focuses his attention on you

♡ he kinda does some research on babies/pregnancy but not prior, he just does a quick google search when he needs to 

♡ but the intention is definitely there bc he googles the most trivial of things like ‘what to make pregnegant ppl for breakfast?’

♡ ‘what do pragnant ppl need from the supermarket?’

♡ ‘can my pregenunt wife have peanut butter?’

♡ ‘how to spell preaignant’ 

atsumu miya 

♡ DEEP denial

♡ he thinks you are playing a prank on him bc you don’t ‘look pregnant’

♡ even when you show him your positive pregnancy test he’s like ‘and how much did that cost?’

♡ he deadass acts as if he wasn’t the one who’s been trying to get you pregnant and raving on about how much he wants a family with you for the last few months 

♡ but he just doesn’t want to believe you bc he know he’ll get way too happy for his own good and he’s afraid to be let down

♡ plus, it was one of those ‘a blessing of this magnitude couldn’t have happened to me - of all people - so this is probably either a cruel joke or a hallucination.’ moments 

♡ he’s just so far gone that after your eleventh attempt at trying to convince him that you’re pregnant for real, you just give up

♡ so y’all just go around your business somewhat normally - except atsumu was more skittery - until your baby bump started to become more prominent

♡ one day, he came back from practise, noticed your bump and pulled you into the most passionate, heartfelt kiss before placing a gentle kiss upon your stomach, a buoyant grin gracing his features

♡ though he doesn’t say much since he is at a loss for words, he mutters a few sweet nothings into your ear as he carries you to the bedroom

♡ for a joke, he pretends to be gutted if you’re libido production decrease but really, he couldn’t care less

♡ but if it increases tho- 

♡ expect him to take full advantage of that 

♡ also, if he didn’t already treat you like his goddess, he does now 

♡ work has moved down his list of priorities and you + his baby are now at number one 

♡ usually he keeps his phone on silent/stuffs it into his bag while he is practising but now he insists on keeping it on full volume, out on the bench, just in case you call him for an emergency 

♡ same goes for texts; he will literally stop mid-set to rush over to his phone if he hears it vibrate 

♡ bokuto thinks it’s sweet but the rest of them get pretty annoyed of his antics quite quickly but whenever they try to call him out on it, he’s like ‘is your wife 6 months pregnant? no! i didn’t think so. i should be on paternity leave right now so be glad i’m blessing you with my presence.’

shōyō hinata

♡ he cannot stop thanking you

♡ as if you’re doing him a favour, which - depending on how you view it - you are

♡ he’s literally on his knees with his hands clasped together, tears of joy streaming down his face as he looks up at you in pure adoration, ‘thank you, (y/n)!’

♡ you tilted your head to the side and stared at him with a perplexed expression, ‘you’re welcome?’

♡ it’s a while before he moves from that position but when he does, it’s only so he can press his ear against your stomach to see if he can hear the baby 

♡ ‘shō, i don’t think it’s body has even formed ye--’

♡ ‘shh! it’s speaking to me.’ he chuckled then proceeded to squeeze his eyes shut, intensely listening to whatever the baby had to say 

♡ you quirked a brow, waiting for him to finish and once he did, he sprung to his feet and threw his arms over your shoulders to pull you in for a hug - in which he had to stop himself from squeezing you too tightly in fear of hurting you, as if pregnancy meant that your bones were now made of glass

♡ he’s just so happy that you agreed to bear his children 🙏

♡ also, seeing how excited you were to tell him about your pregnancy really prompted him to step up his husband-game 

♡ from now on, he loads the dishwasher, does both of your laundry, cleans the house on his own and cooks most of the food 

♡ he acts as if being pregnant means you are no longer able to do basic tasks but his real motive behind doing these things was not only to take the pressure off of you but to also prepare himself for father life 👍

♡ also, to prepare him for shopping for his kids’ clothes, he goes out and buys you maternity wear 

♡ he does this like...3 weeks into your pregnancy though so the clothes just sit and catch dust until a few months later when you actually need them 

♡ and although he is a bit of a pain to go stroller/pram shopping with (he just says buy whichever one goes the fastest), you let him take the reins when it came to buying/preparing the baby’s room and it came out beautiful!

♡ like the cradle was good quality and firm, the rug wouldn’t irritate the baby’s skin, the walls were painted expertly and the plushies/toys he picked out - unbeknownst to you at the time - kept the baby entertained for ages

♡ oh and no matter what day/week/month you are in of pregnancy, he will always look at you and your bump with the same amazement and gratitude as he did the first time you told him

[dimespin]

Saratoan Home Structure

Saratoans live close to 200 years and as a result, any family is guaranteed to be several generations deep - the eldest of a family is almost guaranteed to be a great great grandparent. This is offset by most saratoans never having their own children and the ones that do have children having them a little spaced out.

There are two main types of home structure and a few variations and alternatives

The first is a family home. These homes are somewhat more like a small apartment building rather than a cozy single family home, as it takes a lot of space to house a significant amount of someone's children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and significant others. These homes are organized around the support of a single matrilineal family line - for example, an elder female, her children, of which, one female went on to have many children, of which one female went on to have many children, etc., - the childless siblings in these families are welcome to stay in these homes but are expected to support the household for the benefit of the children - either through child care or paying into the family's shared budget to keep them all fed

The elder in charge of these homes is not necessarily the eldest grandmother or even female, just whoever of that generation of the family is eldest or was given the role by the actual eldest. This means that these homes can be run by anyone of any gender. The eldest of the household is responsible for running the place in both a capacity somewhat like a landlord and also as a family matriarch or patriarch - they decide who lives there, make demands of rent, but also solve disputes, organize childcare and family bonding activities

They also are somewhat in charge of arranging romantic relationships. Saratoans do not consider sexual/romantic relationships their most important relationship, nor do they stay with such a partner for life (they are serial-monogamists who stick to one mate for a few years at a go), so it's a bit less stifling to them that their elders will try to set them up with the nice young man down the street.

Different homes have different attitudes about their responsibility to the home's reproductive future - some have a very warm and friendly "it's my job to help you find someone you'll like" attitude while others are more controlling regarding their heirs.

The second type of home is a bachelor home. This type of home is run almost exclusively by elder males and contain almost exclusively unrelated males.

If a saratoan reaches adulthood and realizes he wants to have romantic relationships, he has to leave the family home where he would otherwise be expected to remain childless and help raise the family's children. If he'd like to have his own kids and help raise them, he needs to go where he can access that type of relationship, which isn't at home.

Bachelor homes take on that role of giving young male saratoans an opportunity to learn how to live outside the home culture they grew up with (because each family has their quirks) and prove themselves able to handle themselves. Generally residents are in and out of living there and treat the home as a secondary home, since they will move in with their mate when they have children and come back when the children don't need them anymore. The elders in these houses are often friends or at least friendly with the elders of family homes and play matchmaker for their residents.

It's not uncommon for gay saratoans to join these bachelor houses - whether that's socially acceptable entirely depends on the elder in charge. Some are old bigots who insist their responsibility to play matchmaker is specifically to get babies made, while others don't care and add "same gender" to the mental list of resident's preferences along side hair color and hobbies.

Sometimes males will be sexually active while remaining at home by getting with the unrelated life partners of their siblings or going out when others don't notice but this is generally considered sneaky and unscrupulous. Dead beat dad behavior.

The whims of chance sometimes cause family lines to die out for whatever reason. Someone had all sons, someone had very few children, everyone chose to live with their life partner rather than any wanting to live there. Things happen. This can leave an elder with a large space but no one to live there, which will sometimes drive them to choose to open their home to whoever is willing to live there and support the house. This results in what are called dead or dying homes or legacy homes.

These homes sometimes sort themselves out into something more like a family home based on a new population, sometimes they remain open to whoever, or develop a focus on a specific community (like all of them having the same niche hobby or helping down on their luck individuals) or get out of hand under poor management.

Finally, sometimes individuals will choose to live in smaller dwellings with their partner or their partner, romantic partner and only one generation of children. Somewhat like a human nuclear family. These smaller homes are almost always satellites of some broader extended family, and if they have children, the children often end up back at the main family house when their parents kick them out.

Saratoans reach a stage of quasi-independence around age 12 to 14, and remain kid-sized and prepubescent until age 30 to 35. During this stage, where they are called "sprites" they are treated a bit like older teenagers - not respected as real adults, expected to be immature, ignorant and emotionally volatile, but still expected to be in charge of their own care enough to feed themselves, clothe themselves, work, go to school, manage their own time, etc.,

During this stage they are given the freedom to decide where to live (or the "freedom" of having been kicked out and figure that out) and many homes will take them or keep them in the family and have rooms in the building dedicated to them, but tend not to give them a lot of care or oversight.

They are often exploited for childcare, as it's expected in their culture that you are in charge of the life stage below you, yet the 40 something adults that ought to be "in charge" of sprites are not expected to be, creating an unfair gap in the responsibility tree where sprites are in charge of children but no one's in charge of them in the same capacity.

Some homes allow them because social expectation dictates that you're not supposed to turn sprites away, but don't make a real space for them. This results in some homes having strange unrelated sprites just sleeping randomly on their floor like when someone accidentally adopts a cat and no one's allowed to tell them to leave

In the modern age it's become popular for sprites to rent homes together, creating sprite-only homes akin to college students renting a house and having a crowded room mate situation. It's common for sprite houses to have humans around their age living there too, although the mismatch in life stage can be awkward sometimes, since sprites are college age in terms of independence and education level but still effectively children and will play and act like it plenty of the time on top of being tiny.

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[frenchbreads-writing]

Enji’s Gratitiude {Endeavor | Enji Todoroki}

Anonymous: Hi, I was wondering if you'd be fine with doing an Endeavor x Male Reader where the reader is already engaged to Enji, but not many people know? Shouto is cool with him and greets him when he comes to be a guest teacher/sub for Class 1-A. I'm bad at explaining lol.

Hi everyone! I’m so sorry that it’s been over an entire MONTH since I last posted. I’ve been struggling finding motivation to write and with my classes starting online I have less free time which sucks ass.

So here’s one of my requests I feel like I deviated from the original idea?? Idk but anyways

I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Endeavor x Male reader

Words: 2.1k (2,112 )

Warning(s): None

Requests: 3/5 slots

(Y/H/N)= Your hero name

Masterlist

Rules

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since the incident at Camino, it was normal to see a different teacher during All Mights Foundational Hero Studies class. But the class never had the same substitute twice.

Mostly because the teachers were active pro heroes that had to do their jobs.

You were one of these substitutes today.

You were walking down the hallway to the teachers’ lounge after kissing Enji goodbye at the gate said man has been working late for a while now it was.. concerning, to say the least.

You were thinking of ways to help Enji when you spotted Shouto walking to class.

You rushed over to him and slung your arm around his shoulder.

“Hey, kiddo!”

He stiffened before relaxing when he realized it was you.

“Hello, (Y/N) good morning.”

You rolled your eyes ‘Always so serious’

“How’s life been treating you lately?”

You hugged him closer to you as you pulled him along the hallway.

“I’ve needed help with homework lately and my b-friend Midoriya has been helping me.”

A splash of pink appeared on his cheeks.

“So I guess other than that it’s been fine. How about you?”

You noticed his slip up but didn’t comment on it. He’ll tell you about it when he’s ready.

“It’s been fine but your father has been hounding me about being ‘more professional’ in his agency.”

“I don’t want to act all buddy-buddy with some stuck up interns.”

You sighed.

“But I guess it’s still kind of my job.”

You saw the teachers’ lounge coming up ahead so you pulled away from Shouto.

“This is my stop you should get going to class.”

Shouto nodded as he waved goodbye.

Walking through the door you were immediately wrapped up in cloth.

“You’re late.”

You looked up to meet a pair of tired eyes staring back at you.

“Sorry about that Shouta, I got held up on the way here.”

He sighed as he unraveled the cloth and handed you a folder.

“Here’s your lesson plan and I also assume you memorized the student roster?”

You nodded and grabbed the folder but couldn’t take it from his grasp.

“Dude I can’t study the lesson if you don’t give it to me.”

“I forgot to mention something.”

You looked at him expectantly.

“The bell rings in 5 minutes.”

You paused processing what he said.

“W-what?!”

“If you run you could probably make it in time.”

you cursed and immediately bolted out of the room.

Present Mic leaned over to Aizawa.

“Wait, class doesn’t start for another 20 minutes.”

A grin spread on Aizawa’s face.

“I know.”

You had just made it to the door when you felt your phone vibrate. Pulling it out revealed that you received a message from Enji telling you to pick up some stuff from the market before heading home. But what caught your eye was the time.

15 minutes left until the bell.

You groaned and bumped your head on the door. You had to meet the students anyway and you were already there so you might as well do it now.

Stepping into the room all of the talking ceased and the students’ eyes were on you.

“Hello, I’m (Y/H/N) I’m going to be your Foundational Hero Studies substitute for this week. If any of you have any questions for me don’t hesitate to ask I won’t bite… Much.”

Several students shouted their questions at once.

“Woah! Calm down you guys one at a time please!”

But it seemed that your plea fell on deaf ears.

Iida jumped from his seat to the front of the class arms up frantically chopping the air.

“Everyone settle down the teacher is trying to gain your attention!”

That did the trick now they’re back to looking at you.

“Thank you, Iida.”

He nodded and went back to his seat.

“Now you can ask me a few questions but please raise your hands first and I’ll choose one of you.”

The class was quiet for a moment before several hands were raised.

You pointed towards the blonde with a black lightning bolt printed in his hair.

“Where are you from?”

“Tokyo, it’s really nice there.”

A girl with pink skin and horns jumped up.

“What do you like to do for a hobby?”

“I like to cook, spicy pork dumplings are my favorite.”

Shouto raised his hand, what could he possibly want to know?

You pointed to him.

“Can you make cold soba for dinner tonight?”

You hummed.

“You got it, oh and also, your dad asked me to pick up some stuff from the store on the way home do you want to come?”

He nodded.

The rest of the class was in confused silence.

“Wait, are you.. dating his dad?!”

Kaminari yelled.

“No actually, he’s my husband.”

The class erupted into shouting.

“How long have you and Todoroki’s dad been married!?”

You thought for a moment.

“Our 1 year anniversary was about a month ago.”

Everyone looked at Shouto and he nodded.

And once again the class began shouting.

You sighed, this was going to be a long week.

You groaned as you pushed the front door to your home closed it with your foot, slipping off your shoes at the door and walking into the kitchen placing the groceries on the counter.

You went into your room and slipped off your hero suit replacing it with comfortable baggy clothes.

Shouto had changed his mind about going shopping to stay after school with Midoriya so you had gone shopping alone. He promised to be there by the time dinner was ready and nighttime patrol was more troublesome than usual.

“I can handle dinner.”

Hearing Fuyumi’s voice caused you to turn and face her.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded

“Dad’s in his office.”

You thanked her and walked past her.

Knocking on the office door you waited until you heard a gruff “Come in.” Before quietly sliding the door open.

You were met with Enji slumped over his desk writing away on what must be reports from his hero agency.

You simply watched him from the doorway before walking up behind him and wrapping your arms gently around his neck placing a soft kiss on the base of his skull.

He stopped his writing to sigh and lean into your touch.

Enji pulled away to spin his chair around.

Now that you were able to see his face he had dark circles beginning to form underneath his eyes. He had always worked hard but now that All Might has officially retired and he is now the number 1 hero he’s been pushing himself even harder so he can fill the space All Might left.

You placed a hand on his cheek, caressing the scar that marked the left side of his face. He leaned into your hand placing his hands your waist gently pulling you onto his lap.

Leaning forward you pressed soft kisses on his scar slowly moving lower kissing the corner of his mouth before pressing a deep gentle kiss on his lips.

Enji sighed through his nose as he pulled you closer.

You pulled away from the kiss and placed your hands on his shoulders.

“You should take a break, Fuyumi and I will make dinner and Shouto will be here in a while.”

You were about to stand up when he pulled you closer burying his face into your chest breaths uneven and hands shaky.

“Just, a few more moments.. please?”

You didn’t answer, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and holding him tight.

He may have been a brave, strong hero. But even he needed comfort.

You hugged him until his breathing came out slow and even and his hold around your waist loosened.

“Thank you, (Y/N)”

He looked up at you and you met his gaze.

You smiled and patted his cheek.

“I’m always here if you need me, now.”

You pulled away from him.

“I need to help Fuyumi with dinner. Go rest I’ll come get you when we’re done.”

Enji watched your form retreated through the door and sighed.

He stood up and made his way to yours and his shared room and laid down sinking into the soft mattress.

His gaze drifted to a framed picture resting on the nightstand.

You had smirked with your middle finger up while Enji simply glared at the camera.

That was the first real picture you had taken together that wasn’t an awkward angled photo taken by the paparazzi.

‘I don’t deserve him.’

He thought to himself.

He closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off to sleep.

You had just finished dinner when you decided to check on Enji.

He was out like a light on the bed.

You smiled and sat next to him on the edge of the bed.

You ran your fingers through his hair massaging as you went.

You wished he didn’t push himself so hard but he was a stubborn man but then again you were just as stubborn when you’re passionate about something you care about.

And right now, you just want to help Enji as much as you could.

You stared as his features before gently shaking him awake.

He groaned and peeled his eyes open.

“Dinner’s ready, Shouto and Fuyumi are waiting for us at the table.”

He nodded and moved to stand up.

The two of you made your way to the dining table Where Shouto and Fuyumi were quietly chatting and sat down.

You immediately joined them in conversation while Enji quietly began eating.

Having dinner alone with his children always lead to silence and a tense atmosphere but with you there, you bridged the gap between them allowing them to connect. Even just a little.

No one mentioned it but they were all grateful.

You were the reason their relationship has been improving slowly but surely.

The only one who has been reluctant to repair the relationship had been Natsuo.

But you made it clear that he didn’t have to forgive his father if he didn’t want to. You merely encouraged him to be civil and recognize the change Enji had gone through.

And when he inevitably started crying from frustration and anger. You held him even when he began sobbing out loud saying how much he hated him.

You simply told him that’s fine and it’s his choice to do what he wanted.

Since then you and Natsuo talked over the phone sometimes and when he visits he sits near you or his siblings.

It seemed that you were a missing piece in the Todoroki family.

Dinner went smoothly, Enji even had a few decent moments with Shouto and Fuyumi before conversation died down and dinner was finished and everyone cleaned up and went to their rooms.

Enji slipped out of his shirt as soon as the door closed while you plopped down in the middle of the bed.

You held out your arms beckoning him.

He quietly slid into the bed lying on his stomach and placing his head on your chest.

The two of you sat in silence with nothing but the sound of breathing and your heartbeat in Enji’s ear.

“Thank you.”

You simply smiled and asked:

“For what?”

He thought for a moment.

“For being here and helping me even though I don’t deserve it.”

Enji turned his head to face you.

“You make me want to be a better person I had made such a terrible mistake and I wouldn’t blame you if you had decided to turn the other way. But you stayed and you push me to become a better person every day. And for that I’m grateful.”

You were at a loss for words.

The most emotionally vulnerable he’s been was when he confessed his deeds to you.

But right now he was being so earnest and looking at you with so much love in his eyes, It was a bit overwhelming.

You felt tears prickle in your eyes but you wiped them and hugged Enji closer to your chest.

You were glad to have made a positive change in his life.

“I’ll always be here for you.”

You laid your head back and felt Enji resume placing his head on your chest.

The two of you laid there basking in each others’ warmth.

It was when you were on the verge of unconsciousness when you heard Enji speak.

“I love you so much.”

It was just a whisper obviously not meant to be heard by you. But it melted your heart nonetheless.

“I love you too, Enji.”

The two of you fell asleep, content, and at peace, knowing the two of you meant the world to each other.

[madewithspice]

Hi, I hope doing good. Can I have Aot, Haikyuu and Mha matchup please.I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy cheeks. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. Also i'm 172 cm.I always have poker face. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, quiet, scary and distant. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, resourceful and knowledgeable. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. And I'm a switch in a relationship.If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it.My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, history, fashion. I always wear my headphones and listen to music.I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze.I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things.I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks.And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. -💐

Hii I’m well. Hope you are too. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished for yourself. I wish for you many good years to come.

For AOT I match you with Erwin Smith

We all know Erwin Smith is a busy man and what makes the two of you work so well is how independent you both are. He is quite proud of how well you did for yourself by yourself, though he does feel guilty about not always taking you out. But he does send flowers and treats to you with a personal letter enclosed.

When he does spend time with you, he makes sure to pamper you as you deserve. Erwin likes to de-stress by cooking and will make your favourites every time you come over. Over dinner, he wants to know everything that happened and will give you advice on any problems you might have at the time.

For Haikyuu I match you with Yamaguchi Tadashi

His favourite past time is FaceTiming you and listening to everything you learnt since your last call. He remembers the little comments and details and loves to learn more because “you make everything more interesting”. He likes how you calm him down and make him less anxious about things. He especially loves how you encourage him and hype him up.

Yams loves braiding your hair for you but gets all shy when you tell others he did it. He learnt from his sister and loves playing with your hair and making you look all fancy. He especially likes how calming it feels for both of you. He has really nimble fingers and can do tiny braids as well.

For BNHA I match you with Mina Ashido

Mina made it her mission to get close to you. She hates not being friends with everyone and you proved quite a challenge. Until she sees you quietly bopping to music. She pounces at her chance and starts a conversation. Though you two seem opposite in personality, you both hit it off when she invites you thrift shopping. She loves your style and how it’s so you.

She gets carried away sometimes but she does really try to be considerate of you and your boundaries. It’s cute to watch her start talking loudly and when your face twitches a little she’s immediately slapping a hand over her mouth and mumbling an apology then continuing much quieter. She listens really well and repeats your jokes to others and talks about how funny you are.

[ktheist]

pretty girls don’t get hurt | m

synopsis. your mom has been asking you for a grandchild - not even a son-in-law but the baby to said nonexistent son-in-law! and your dad is hitting an age where he can barely work anymore. at some point you’re going to take over his position as the chairman of the family hospital but you know nothing about medicine. that’s where kim seokjin comes in. he’ll marry you and become the chairman so you can keep your ceo position and you’ll get a child out of him too. it’s like killing two birds with one stone.

except there’s one problem: you’ve never met the man and you need him to agree to the marriage first. okay, make that two problems.

muses. heir!doctor!seokjin x heiress!ceo!reader x best friend!heir!taehyung

words. 15.6k

contents. slowburn. sexual tension. impregnation kink. daddy/older men kink. viagra is involved lmao. 

warnings. matured content.

verse. knj. myg. kth. pjm. jjk. jhs. story time.

x

“you want my what?”

seokjin’s jaw hangs loose, brows coming together in a show of frustrated bewilderment. it’s tells you enough that he heard you the first time but then again, you’re not asking him for dinner. you’re asking him for-

“your hand in marriage.” glossed lips curl upwards underneath the pristine white cup of hot coffee from the vending machine.

you watch as his widened eyes narrow. lips smack together and finally anger settles in the muscles of his hardening expression. “you’re joking.”

it’s understandable that he’d feel offended. even more so when it’s coming from a stranger who strode right into his office and introduced herself as the chairman’s daughter - the ceo. that’s probably the only reason he agreed to spare you his time - and you’re spending it for this.

it’d be a lie if you say you weren’t surprised that he didn’t know the ceo of the hospital he’s working at but judging from the way he treats you, like he has better things to do - lives to save, you know he’s that type of person. the mad scientist version of a doctor. doesn’t attend annual dinners. doesn’t take off days. he’s perfect.

“dad’s getting old and he needs someone to succeed him but i don’t know anything about medicine - i’m more of a businesswoman and the board wants someone of a clinical background to continue the tradition. if it were up to me, medical expenses would be much higher per patient but i’m also not a capitalist so i need someone on the field to tell me how things are at the hospital so we don’t overcharge nor do we undercharge.”

his eye is twitching at the end of your words and his jaw is clenched in suppression of agitation. at this point, you’re going to have to keep it short so not to drop the whole bomb on him before he himself explodes. “so how bout it? you marry me and become the next chairman and i’ll take care of all the non-clinical related matters. if you were to decline... i can’t guarantee things will remain the same after dad retires.”

“my break is over. it’s nice meeting you miss ___ but i hope we don’t run into each other again.” the chair screeches backwards when he stands up abruptly before you can even finish your sentence. he didn’t even check the time when he swipes his phone off the table and slips it right into his pocket. his words are as clear as day: this is the first and last time we meet.

“you still have ten more minutes, doctor kim.” for some reason he hasn’t stormed off - dare you say, he’s even taking what you said seriously - good. because you’re not here for a laugh either. you meet his heated gaze with ease. “i’m not sure you understand but you’re the cinderella and i’m the prince charming.”

you take out a single midnight scented card and slide it over to seokjin. “and this is a proposal, not a blackmail. call me when you’re ready to talk about the terms for the prenup.”

x

it’s been a week since you left your card with seokjin.

now, sitting in your office, the scene keeps replaying in your mind like a broken record. a scream erupts in the otherwise pleasantly silent room as you slump in your seat, hands digging into your hair as though if you rub your head hard enough, the memories would fade away. “taehyung, how did i even get that confidence? a prenup? he didn’t even say yes!”

the aforementioned man spares you a glance from the couch he’s lying on before going back to typing away on his phone. it’s probably yuju - one of his recent acquaintances. if you remember correctly, she’s the daughter of sbs’ ceo.

“boys are simple minded beings, give it another day and he’ll call you.” he casually assures, this time not even look away from his phone.

the sleek back hair and black button down underneath seokjin’s white coat flashes at the back of your mind. you don’t see that many doctors wearing something that needs ironing to work that often. sure there’s a dress code but your dad isn’t strict about it - all that mattered to him is the quality of one’s work. for all he cares, these doctors can come to work in pj’s. it’s you that had to make sure they don’t come in pj’s. collared t-shirts are acceptable. so are sneakers instead of heeled shoes. but kim seokjin was nothing less of button down, a well made tie and polished black shoes.

it shows that-

“he’s a man, not a boy.”

this time, taehyung’s fingers freeze on the screen before he turns his cheeks to you with an unfazed expression - as though he’d expected this but still got disappointed when he hears it. “so it’s his age? you wanna marry him because he’s nine years older than you?”

there’s something about the way he singles out the reason you decided it was seokjin, that makes you look away in shame. but you still force out a laugh in a last ditch attempt to brush it off but it sounds awkward in every octave. “ha ha ha ha what are you talking about? he’s the most eligible marriage prospect - that’s why.”

“there’s another one.” he points out. still unconvinced, “that suho guy - he’s also a fellow. also an only child-”

you speak over him,“-but his background is so-so. civil servant parents. went to an ordinary school. you think he’ll adapt to the pressure as quick as seokjin?” suho’s smiling picture peeks from underneath the documents you’d been reviewing before the flashback of your bold proposal comes and haunt you. it’s his resume along with every physician working at the hospital for more than eight years, that you’d obtained from your dad’s secretary. “you know whoever becomes my husband and assume the chairman position is gonna get chewed out alive by the board. it has to be him - it has to be seokjin.”

a sigh echoes from somewhere across from you as taehyung sits up, brows furrowed together as he rubs his head as if it’ll make the the problem go away. “yeah, but he left the social scene a decade ago. you think he’ll walk back in just like that?”

“his records have been nothing but remarkable. he sticks around and works overtime. he’s been one of the most consistent physicians that worked on every holidays. doesn’t take off days. basically a workaholic who loves his job way too much - he doesn’t need to enter the social scene. not when i’m his wife.” a grin spreads across your face by the end of it - all this time, you’d been reading the report about him but once you’ve actually put it in words, the chances of him saying yes seems to sound more real, “he’s gonna keep working as the chairman and ignore anything the board says. he’s perfect.”

“yeah, okay let’s say he is perfect and there’s no reason for him to say no except one,” taehyung pauses for a more dramatic effect, lips twitching upwards slyly as if he knows it’s already got you on the edge of your seat, “what if he has a girlfriend he wants to marry?”

and that’s when your world comes crashing down like waves against the rocks but you don’t like the smug look on taehyung’s face, “yeah but with his schedule, it doesn’t seem like he has one.”

“you never know - they could very well be living together. plus, it’s not like he has to report his dating life to the hospital and he seems like a private enough man to keep it on the low even from his colleagues.”

his words are barely registering but the longer the second stretches on with your thoughts running wild, the faster your heart seems to race. but one thing’s for sure. taehyung’s here because you’re supposed to be discussing the partnership.

“if you’re not gonna talk about work, then get out.” your eye visibly twitches - all of a sudden your best friend since you were in diapers’ presence serves more as a nuisance than a blessing.

“you’re mad, aren’t you?” a grin spreads across his lips before he bursts into laughter - he’s the only person that would laugh in the face of death, “man you’re full of ego - i guess you should be. i mean, if all else fails, he might just say yes because of your face, right, sparky?”

he’s using that nickname he used to call you when you were kids. your love - or as taehyung would put it, obsession for shines and sparkles in diamonds peaked at the age of ten thanks to your mom’s hobby of collecting dimes. she’d sold everything off after she got bored of them and needed space for the arts she bought - her new found hobby. but you remained true to your love for diamonds and symbol of riches and bought half of her collection.

over time, he starts using it less and less and only for reasons to get a rise out of you. where did that cute boy who called you sparky because he thought you were as pretty as the diamonds, go?

all he is now is a devil incarnate. with that height and silly grin of his, he easily antagonize you. and you always give in. 

“you’re supposed to be on my side and give me assurance!” you toss a balled up paper, aiming right in his face but instead of hitting the mark, he easily catches it.

“how’s this for assurance? you’re only gonna hurt yourself if you throw a ball like that.” he picks his blazer off the handrest and makes a beeline for the door when he senses the smoke coming out of your ears, “i’m late for my date, see you later!”

x

it’s exactly fifteen hours later that you receive a call from seokjin.

instead of meeting up at the cafeteria, he’d directed you to flower child, one of the most coveted fine dining restaurants in seoul two days after the call. it turns out he’d made a reservation - and you’re no fool to the long waiting line to get a table. he must’ve booked it some time after your first meeting.

he’s made some effort into putting on a black blazer and matching pants. hair styled to perfection. he may have cut his family off but he hasn’t completely abandoned the way he lived up till a decade ago. you allow yourself to check him out once - when he’d stood up at your arrival and pushed the chair for you.

thankfully, you’re not too underdressed. a creme blouse and grey pencil skirt suit any kind of formal setting.

“have you thought about what you want to include in the prenup?” you ask after the server leaves with your order.

seokjin seems more collected this time. or maybe it’s the incense and dimmed lighting that gives off a more suitable atmosphere to talk about marriage.

either way, you don’t expect the man to chuckle - a short, wistful one. as though he truly, honestly believes- “why would you want to marry an old man like me?”

you know what he’s asking: there’s got to be a catch. straightening your back and crossing it over your chest loosely, you decide to come clean - the full truth. “you’re only thirty-four but i won’t lie - you have a price on your head, doctor kim.”

the server comes back with a small cart and a bucket of chilled red wine. you wait until he pours a third of both glasses and goes away. but seokjin doesn’t appear all that eager for your elaboration - it’s almost as though he’s already known. or at least expected that much.

“your mother is willing to pay anyone who marries you a whooping ten million if the lucky bride brings you back to your family.” you watch as he studies the density of the wine, twirling the glass gently with a sort of tilt on his lips like a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “but i won’t make you reconcile with your family. i’ve told you my intentions - i need someone who knows the ins and outs of the hospital since don’t have any clinical background and it’d be easier if we were husband and wife.”

it’s in that moment that seokjin tears his eyes off the wine and captures your gaze. in the absence of the sunlight, those brown eyes appear more black, reflecting the dancing fire on the incense. you feel naked and bare as he wedges his fingers in and tear open the windows to your soul. “don’t you have someone you want to marry, miss___? someone you love?”

taehyung’s silly grin flashes at the back of your mind like a solar flare you can’t erase - all you can do is wait until dies out on its own. you don’t realize your unfocused gaze is directed to seokjin in the split second you wait for your thoughts to gather itself. redirecting your gaze to the wayward reflection in your own glass, you let out a breathy chuckle. “yeah, well.”

it’s pathetic and embarrassing but you can’t even conjure up proper words. instead, you bring the wine to your lips, preferring to taste the bittersweetness of the wine than that of your own reality.

x

all you talk about for the rest of the night is matters pertaining the marriage. what he’ll have to endure and what he won’t have to endure. he doesn’t need to attend any of the social functions even if you’re married. doesn’t also need to concern himself with matters about his family - it becomes tricky when his family catches news of their only son’s marriage and want to be there for the ceremonious day.

“i don’t know what’s going on with you and your family but they won’t be invited if you don’t want them to be.” you fix him with one of your smiles. a tilt in the corner of your lips and a languid flutter of your eyelids before meeting his gaze. it always works - takes away the essence of the conversation and makes them focus on you so if he wants to throw your words back at you, there’s a leeway you could escape to.

until you couldn’t.

“it’s fine. i’ve been running away for the last few years - it’s time i face them head on.” he looks up from the steak he’s cutting - you still haven’t recover from the time he’d look at you in the eye and effortlessly tore your defenses like it was paper but there he does it again, splaying out your scheme like a dish best served hot, “besides, they won’t be invited but you can’t- no, you won’t stop them from showing up, right?”

it’s true. his family isn’t just any normal family. his father is a ceo of one of the most prominent cell phone companies in the world after all. you’d be invincible if you’re in good terms with your in-laws. or at least, if they think you’re on their side and want to help them get their son back.

but seeing as nothing gets past seokjin, you’re only left to either evade the question or full out deny it to keep your pride intact. either way, both options will only serve to confirm his suspicion - he may already know what you’re up to but verbalizing it is a different kind of pride-crushing. your lips curl into a smile - an irony of having been cornered in every direction from the man you thought you could wrap around your fingers.

but because your pride wouldn’t allow you to look like a fool and your ethics wouldn’t allow you to tell a flat out lie (half truths are alright), you decide the first option is much better. “there’s one more thing - i want to get pregnant within the first year of our marriage.”

or else, you’re going to end up like your parents - their bones weren’t as strong as they used to be by the time they got you and their souls were withered from the works they’d put on in their better years of their lives. your mother’s life was risked by the late pregnancy. still, they tried to love you better but there were things you couldn’t do with parents who were hitting 50 before you even reached high school. you couldn’t go camping or bike riding or fishing like your grandfather brought your father to.

it seems to have caught seokjin off guard when he stares at you with wide eyes a tad longer before dropping his head and chuckling to himself, “my, i don’t know if i still have it in me.”

and that’s how you know he’s messing with you - perhaps it’s his own way of reminding you that he’s too old for you and if he’s lucky, it’ll scare you away from the idea of marriage altogether. but the fact that he’s trying to make you give up means that he’s agreeing to the marriage. you let your lips curve into a smile, adrenaline rushing through your veins and into your very core.

you absolutely can’t wait to get married.

x

the marriage will be held within five months - it’s the earliest you can get. it’d be suspicious if you just suddenly got married without any scandal or news of dating the estranged only child of the kim family. you’ve already hired a reporter to follow you during your first three ‘dates’ - they may very well be the only dates you go on together judging from your packed schedule. it’s been almost a week since that dinner and you’ve made plans to appear in public together - your first date.

rapping your knuckles on the door, you wait for the light on the handle to turn from red to green - a signal that the owner’s allowed you access. “hey, you ready?” is the first thing you say, even though you know he’s not.

“miss ___, i’m sorry i was working and didn’t realize the time.” he seems to be genuinely apologetic - and there’s an x-ray film and some papers strewn over his desk to verify his claim. “i’ll freshen up and -”

his brows lift in surprise when you lower yourself on his lap just as he pushes the chair backwards to stand up. the usually gelled light brown hair falls over his face in a messy middle part and his button down is less crisped than when you saw him the first time. granted your first meeting with him was at noon - it’s not enough time for the demands of his career to dishevel him. it’s evening now.

his jaw slacks just the slightest bit, resulting for his lips to part - you’ve noticed their plump fullness and it’d be a lie if you said you didn’t wonder about how they’d feel on yours. the taupe acrylic on your thumb digs into the soft pink flesh of his lips before it travels to his chin.

“may i?” two words. and that’s all it takes for something lustrous to take over his eyes. you find yourself smirking when he stares quizzically as your hand leaves his face and brings his own between your lips. his fingerpads are callous from years of surgical training but they don’t tremble under the touch of your tongue. his digits are lengthier than you expect them to be. his middle finger hit the back of your throat easily before you can get them all in but he’s not the only one that’s received training.

you switch to his ring finger, tongue gently curling around it before you drag your teeth over the ridges of its joint. as a finishing touch, you make sure to lick the bottom of your lips all the while holding his gaze. then, you allow the smile to grace your lips as though nothing happened but the way you pretend to struggle to get up, causing your ass to rub against his arousal - defeats that false sense of innocence.

either way, his surprised expression turns to an amused one as he chuckles a low chuckle - an admittance of your victory, “my, i just lost, didn’t it?”

“whatever do you mean?” you blink, lashes fluttering with feigned innocence.

x

articles are starting to pop up after your personal reporter uploaded hers. it’s not enough to shake the world but it’s enough to catch the eyes of secretaries which in turn tell their bosses and as a result, your phone’s been blowing up and your own secretary has been taking calls since this morning.

“___, you’re leaving already?” taeyeon cups the mouthpiece of the phone she’s been on for the last five minutes, alarms going off in her eyes at the thought of your absence. you don’t blame her - from the way the conversation seems to be going, she might just drag the whole telephone all the way to your desk and make you answer them.

business proposals must be pouring in. you feel bad for your secretary but to be frank, the instant ringing as soon as she held up the last call - has been bothering you to no end as well.

you grin sheepishly, “i got a meeting with dad.” it’s just a coincidence that your dad called you to his office today - he usually does every once in a while just to ask how you’re doing and lament about having to handle your mother’s random burst of hobbies she’s getting into ever since you moved out.

looks like nobody’s noticed the ‘rumor’ yet from the way the workers in the administration department bows and greets you on your way to the office. granted, these people are too devoted to their work to pay attention to the latest business scandals but you expected at least one person to be blowing up the group chat with pictures of you and seokjin’s first date.

there’s a familiar figure leaning against your dad’s desk but no trace of the elder man - he must have went to the washroom or something. you thought it odd when taehyung’s eyes fall on you without the usual grin he would usually offer whenever he sees you - like reflex. at first, you assume his own date with yuju probably didn’t go very well.

“hey, loser. this is the first time you’re here earlier than me.” you fix the man your own grin, happy to be able to see not one but two of your favorite persons. taehyung’s been coming over to play at your house since forever. it was normal for your dad to invite him to his office and take you two to lunch now that you two have grown up.

...until you notice your dad on the couch and another person sitting adjacent to him. it’s easy to miss people when they’re sitting down and easier to have your eyes focus on taehyung’s tall frame.

the tension almost crushes your lungs as soon as you walk through the door. it becomes apparent all too soon that taehyung tried to warn you with his eyes to not be your usual idiot self. now, you’re paying the price for it as all eyes fall on you.

the third person in the room turns his cheek towards you - seokjin. he offers a too polite smile as you come to a stop next to the couch he’s one.

“daddy?” all of a sudden, you’re a child in a room full of adults and calling your out to your dad, as if it would somehow make him explain this situation you just walked in.

the elder man releases a long drawn sigh before speaking, “i’d like a word with my daughter and doctor kim, if you don’t mind, taehyung.”

“sure, uncle.” the aforementioned man offers one of his gallant smiles, pushing himself off the desk without taking out his hands from his pockets.

you grab onto taehyung’s arm as he’s about to pass you - pleading with your eyes for him not to leave you, a mere ant, with the elephants in the room. that’s when his serious facade falls through and he’s grinning at you like a brother would to his sister when he knows she’s going to get in trouble with their parents. your temple throbs with a burst of rage but before you can say anything, he’s already out of the door.

the sweetness of the tea mrs. nam served is tasteless compared to the tangible tension in the air. it’s become apparent that while the more tech savvy staff remain clueless of your updated dating status, your father, is not.

be it as it may, guess you should give credit where it’s due - seokjin’s expression is free of any tautness. it’s perfectly neutral - it’s frightening. you know for a fact you’re not saved from a hard line on your glossed lips and a crease between your brows.

“i heard from my wife that you two are dating.” the elderly man finally breaks the silence.

he’s addressing your mom like that so to make it known that he’s talking to seokjin too - and you’re not the only one in hot water. but seeing as it’s your idea and your proposal, it’s also your responsibility to respond-

“that’s correct, sir.”

-but seokjin beats you to it. it’s not just his expression but his tone is completely at ease. almost as though he’s faced tense situations like this one too many times.

you breathe out before speaking, “i was going to introduce doctor kim to you and mom once we bought our engagement rings.”

your dad finally looks up, eyes wide and mouth slacked for the briefest second before his eyes flutter close. now’s about time for him to be rubbing his temples from the headache but instead, he lets out a sigh. for a split second, you see your dad for the age he is - not the age you remember him as in your earliest memories. wrinkles and smile lines and graying hair.

the seconds stretch on as do the silence. you can hear the distant ringing of the telephone all the way from mrs. nam’s desk from outside, almost clearly.

once your word settles in, then comes the million dollar question, “do you two love each other?”

it’s a no brainer. anyone with eyes can see and answer that for you - or perhaps taehyung already told your dad since he must have gone through a similar interrogation session. and yet, it’s only natural to want confirmation from your own daughter instead of her best friend even though he knows everything about her.

this can only go two ways: yes or no.

but you’ve never been fond of flat out lying, especially to the man who taught you such principles and you’ve talked about marrying for convenience with them ever since you realized that ambitions tend to reward but cheap sentiments like love does not.

yet your chest feels heavy having to go against your parents’ wishes and hopes for you - they want what any parent want for their child. happiness. “no, we don’t.”

“but no one enters into a marriage with divorce in mind. i don’t plan on just being a husband to your daughter just on paper. i’ll care for miss ___ and treat her the way like a queen. that much, i promise, sir.” seokjin holds your dad’s gaze - it’s haunting and charming, you would know. you’d been on the receiving end once too many times already. and you know that’s how he gets your dad.

the older man nods, shoulder line relaxing almost as though he’s been lifted off a dead weight. he’s not the only one - you don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath until you feel your own muscles loosening and you’re breathing out in relief.

until his head snaps up to point out one thing, “you’re getting married yet you’re not on first name basis?”

x

“sorry to rope you into family drama, i’ll be more prepared next time so you won’t have to leave your work.” is the first thing you say once you’re in the elevator. your dad has made sure to grill you to half-death with his questions. he’s gonna give the immigration a run for their money. the first name basis matter is just the beginning of a series of dread -

‘what’s my daughter’s favorite color?’

‘dad, do you even know my-”

‘shh. do you know my daughter still wets the bed at the age ten?’

‘dad!’

seokjin had taken your dad on in stride. he chuckled when your dad said something ridiculous, borderline false and he listened on when your dad went on about the sob story of a ‘poor father with an undefeatable daughter’. but the way he did it was so effortless - almost as if he was a boyfriend visiting your parents and getting told all the embarrassing stories of your childhood and would tease you about it but at the end of the day, tells you he thinks the kid-you was cute - bed wetter or not.

there’s something that restricts your airway at the thought of sharing a feeling so strong with someone. in no time, you push the intimate image away. you and seokjin aren’t like that - this is marriage is strictly convenience-based.

“i asked a friend of mine to cover for me.” so he knew it’d be long but he didn’t actually said it was okay either. marriage is a tricky subject especially for someone as work-crazed as seokjin. you’re surprised he hasn’t cursed you out for making him miss work. “is it red?”

“what?” you blink, steps halting as you stare up at him with what starts to be mindless curiosity but ends up with a stretched on pause as you study the man’s visage. the plumpness of his lips is a given- it’s the first thing you noticed about him.

“your favorite color.” the corners of his lips lifts upwards before he includes his assertion, “you’re always wearing something red - your lipstick was red when we went for dinner. you have a red blouse on now.”

 even you didn’t know you have so much red. but it’s true - your functions and meetings wardrobe consists of red and black predominantly besides the more neutral pastel colors. you have a higher success rate of getting sponsors when you wear the tight fitted red dress.

but it’s not a preferred shade per se.

“no,” you chuckle, “my favorite color is yellow, like the banana.”

seokjin’s brows rises at that. he probably didn’t expect that - nobody expects the fierce and confident woman to like such a bright, clarifying color. “though i understand why you think it’s red.”

his lips curl into a smile - the kind of smile that mimics your own, not the one that he wears to charm your father. though that one was also genuine, this one makes him feel younger. like someone you can crack silly jokes with instead of the ever uptight working man.

before he manages to say anything, your name reverberates across the lobby. taehyung’s shrugged off that ugly grey checkered blazer of his and left it at the sofa as he mini run towards you. the grin on his face gradually falls off when he notices the lack of smile on your face.

“you left me for dead!”

he blocks your fist with a hand around your wrist before sighing as if you’re not just directing every ounce of energy in that punch of yours - but then again, none of your smacks really get to him.

“i didn’t know uncle was gonna ask me about that - i thought it was gonna be the usual lunch. i mean, come on, i waited for you down here even though i have work to do so i can make sure all your limbs are intact!” he looks like he almost meant it. almost.

it’s in that moment that seokjin’s remark reminds you that he’s still there, “you two must be close.”

“huh?” taehyung narrows his eye at you as though you’re no more than gum under his shoes while you whip your hand out of his grasp and scoff.

“nah, i’m her only friend.”

“it’s because he doesn’t have any other friend.”

you both say at the same time.

at least seokjin’s still able to laugh with all the intention-to-kill in the air. before you can elaborate on how taehyung kept following you around like a lost puppy when you were younger, seokjin’s hand finds its way around your shoulder, you thought it odd that he needs to pat on the shoulder farthest from him but it turns out he’s pulling you towards him but by the time you realize it, you’re already craning your neck to look at him. but you barely notice the awkward position of his lips on the spot just above your left eyebrow - his lips really are soft. and warm.

and gone.

before you know it, he’s pulling away, saying something about seeing you later - you couldn’t hear it from the blood rushing in your ears and the heat rising on your face. it’s only after you see his white coat disappear around the corner do you finally take notice of the slyly grinning fox in front of you.

“what did i tell you? simple-minded beings.”

x

you still don’t know why seokjin kissed you on the forehead.

sure, he told your dad he’s not planning to just be a husband on paper - okay. but he’s nowhere near a husband to you yet and you haven’t even given him an engagement ring. it doesn’t help that your heart keeps racing every time time the image of his sharp jaw and pursed lips before he kissed you, plays at the back of your mind.

he smelled good too - like aftershave and lemon and a hint of disinfectants.

before you know it, you find yourself rapping on his door eight minutes past 7 in the evening. after a whole solid minute of the red light on the door handle remaining the same color, you finally let out the breath you’ve been holding. it’s supposed to be past his shift but judging from the lack of response from the other side of the room, you know straight away that he’s still at the wards. it may have been an impromptus decision but now that you’ve walked the distance from your office to the other end of the building, you might as well go the extra mile and actually look for him. 

most of the nurses and doctors that pass you recognize you, bowing briefly before hurrying to where they were heading before they saw you. you rarely visit the cardiology department - or any other department for that matter because it’s always a hassle for the staff to prepare to greet you. in that aspect, you agree with seokjin - that they could be doing something better than pushing their schedules on their colleague to accompany a sightseeing vip.

“miss ___?” a young man around your age calls, his brows furrow at the idea that his eyes could be fooling him but when you turn to him, his eyes light up in pleasant surprise, “it really is you. why - i didn’t know you were visiting today.” 

“doctor kim,” you don’t forget a face easily - right before you is kim suho. the smile that stretches when you recognize him is telling enough. his past achievements are definitely to brag about and he must have attended the annual dinner if he recognizes you, “good evening. this isn’t an official visit - actually, i’m looking for someone. do you happen to know where doctor kim seokjin is?”

“seokjin?” he repeats the name with a sort of familiarity, coupled with confusion. of course, he’s probably wondering what the work-crazed doctor did to have the ceo come all the way to the wards.

“miss ___?” it’s feels almost deja vu - having your names called out by two different people within the span of five minutes. both sounding equally confused but for different reasons.

“good evening,” you fix seokjin one of your alluring smiles, heart skipping a beat - it’s probably the stethoscope hanging over his shoulder. it compliments the collared button down and white coat, look you usually see him in, “i went to you office but you weren’t there so i came here.”

“let’s talk in my office.” he clears his throat, eyes drifting to look to somewhere on his left before he stops himself. if it’s the whispering nurses at the counter he’s worried about - he shouldn’t be. because you’re about to put a ring on it.

x

“sorry, i was doing my last rounds but the patient was a chatty one - i lost track of time.” he says, walking into the office and setting the stethoscope down on his desk before he takes a seat behind it.

you notice the way his eyes travel from your perfectly pinned up hair down to your diamonds adorned neck down to the halter strap of your elegant maroon dress that wraps around your body flawlessly. but he doesn’t say a word - and you’re forced to school your expression to not show your surprise and hurt when he doesn’t even let his gaze linger for any longer than necessary as he meets your eyes again.

you take out the suede velvet box from your purse and place it right in front of him. “it just came in, why don’t you try putting it on?”

his eyes twinkle with a surprise not because of the foretelling shape and characteristics of the box, nor the affirmation of the silver band inside it but because it sits snugly around his ring finger when he slips it on.

“how did you get my size right?” the impressed tone laced in his voice makes your chest swell with pride and lips curl into a smirk.

it only takes him a few seconds to interpret your smirk - that time in his office. the ghost of his digit on your tongue still lingers. it wasn’t just for show and you weren’t cruel enough to put a man through that misery if you didn’t have your own reasons.

he shakes his head, ring bluntly glinting as suppresses his chuckle with his hand.

your heart is beating too loudly in your chest - there’s something in the way he’s bearing your claim but you still manage to sound leveled and collected. “since we’re officially engaged, do you mind if i call you seokjin?”

“i’d like that very much, ___.” he’s finally dropped the suffix. ms. this, ms. that. you’ve gotten used to it but it serves to enforce the invisible line between you and him when he addresses you so formally.

your phone buzzes in your purse - it must be taehyung. you didn’t expect to spend longer than ten minutes but he must be waiting at the lobby if he’s texting you now. standing up, you bid him a parting “have a nice evening, seokjin.”

he doesn’t seem like he has anything on his mind but just as your hand covers the handle of the door, he speaks up, “once we’re married, could you refrain from going to these functions?”

it takes you off guard. like a spear that pierces you just as you lay down your armor but you’re not one to let something like this get to you, “i’m afraid that’s not possible.” and that’s it. it’s final.

but you should have known when you decide to use that practiced icy tone, that seokjin wouldn’t just back off the way almost everyone would. the only people who would still have the gal to say something or dismiss it are your parents and taehyung.

“i know you expect me to be an obedient husband and become chairman and do my job. it shouldn’t matter if you attend these functions since you’re not forcing me to go with you.” and there’s those eyes again. tearing into the soul of your window and stripping you bare the way only kim seokjin could. “but marriage is about compromise - giving up one thing for the other. i’m gonna inherit my dad’s fortunes and you’re gonna get that 10 million my mom promised. shouldn’t that be enough to get the projects for the hospital rolling?"

when he says it like that, it seems so easy and simple. “no wonder you’re a doctor. you don’t know a thing about maintaining a sustainable business.” you let your lips curl briefly, “but i’ll think about what you said.”

then, you’re out of his office. heels clicking against the floor as you make your way to the lobby and into taehyung’s familiar sleek black burgatti.

x

“so he asked you to stop coming to these functions.” the car rolls to a stop right in front of the hall where the birthday party of seollyu’s president is held.

“in essence, yeah.” you say after he comes around the car and your hand automatically tucks itself in the crook of his arm.

“then why are you mad?” the car purrs behind you before the valet takes it somewhere to park it.

some of the reporters at the entrance calls your and taehyung’s names in an attempt to make you look at the camera. there’s too many and the lights are blinding - you just want to get into the hall quickly. at least they won’t be able to follow you past the doors.

“i just - i don’t like that he’s asking me to change, you know? just because i’m married, i won’t get to do the things i usually do before? that’s just bullshit.” you huff in frustration - not bothering to hide your stiff eyebrows and slightly pursed lips all the while you have your pictures taken. at best, they’re going to slander you with jealousy over taehyung’s new budding romance.

“i mean, he did cut his family off and stopped going to these things.” the man shrugs, “maybe he has a good reason - did you even ask him why?”

and that’s how you know you’ve lost the fight. taehyung’s too sensible - naturally, he wouldn’t have his own startup at such a young age, if he isn’t the way he is now. but you don’t want an analyst - you want a friend who would listen to you and let you vent your frustrations before finding the root of the problem and suggesting the solution.

taehyung knows this and he knows plenty of many things, having been your childhood and best friend all in one package. but because he knows you too well, he also knows you’ll end up doing something you would regret if he were too late to point out your mistake. sometimes you want to prove him wrong - that you can call the right shots when it comes to people without having him paint a picture for you to foresee the outcome but so far, there’s limited exhibits of your success. your failed past relationships being the prime examples.

“i hate it when you’re right.” you grumble, letting your hand fall to your side - usually you wouldn’t mind having to cling onto taehyung like a child. you’re all the other has in these functions - everyone has their own reason for attending and just like absolutely everyone, you approach people because of what they can give you. that’s why you see groups of people your age flocking together - they grew up trained to sniff those with ill intentions and those with a mutual interest.

and usually, they’ve known each other at a very young age - the way you knew taehyung for as long as you can remember.

you have other friends too - or rather, they’re people you single out to be of no threat to your business and could even become partners someday. like sowon - her bright amber dress making it seem as though a ball of fire is flitting across the hall. you’re about to wave at her before you notice a more furious fire burns in her eyes.

“you bitch!”

all of a sudden, your neck is craned in an awkward angle. the blaze on your cheek settles a little later than the realization that sowon just smacked you right across the face yet when you turn back to her, hands clenching and unclenching in suppression of rising anger - she’s the one with tears in her eyes. “i trusted you.”

oh boy.

the host hasn’t even made his speech and the crowd’s already excited. the widespread whispers don’t go past you - some of the people in your periphery doesn’t even bother hiding leaning into the person next to them while stealing glances your way. but you doubt the woman in front of you would notice anyone here but you.

“ladies, there’s plenty of me to go around.” taehyung speaks from next to you, his smooth baritone echoing off and reaching anyone within five feet. you know he’s doing this to cover for any other possible misunderstanding - after all, this isn’t the first time you’re trapped in a scandal between taehyung and one of his girlfriends.

sowon loathes taehyung though.

but it doesn’t matter as long as everyone thinks it’s just another day of you getting in between the budding romance of taehyung and his female acquaintance. you can already see the expressions of the guests falling - probably disappointed at the not-so-news news. but there are also those who snicker underneath their breath - probably one of taehyung’s past acquaintances. it’s no secret taehyung would choose you over them in a heartbeat - and it’s been established when taehyung appears at a function with another woman once and appear to the next five with you until a new poor soul takes that woman’s place.

what can you say? your best friend’s a charmer. but the downside is, you don’t have that many female friends at functions. and one of the few you do have, you’ve managed to piss off.

sowon’s sniffle tears your attention away from the crowd. flushed cheeks and puffed eyes. you’re not close but you’re acquainted enough to know she’s a woman of pride and confidence. she wouldn’t lose her cool over a man - well, at least not a licentious man like taehyung. and that’s the only reason keeping you from bitch slapping the pride off her. the sting on your cheek is nothing compared to the injury your pride sustains - all because what’s left of your conscience wouldn’t allow you to return the slap.

deep down, you know you deserved it and more. your insides churn painfully. all of a sudden the dress around your body is two sizes too small. it’s suffocating - the whole room is suffocating.

“after everything i told you - you had to go for him?!” her scream could almost burst your eardrums if it isn’t for the blood rushing in your ears.

it’s easy to think she’s referring to taehyung. somewhere from across the room, the crowd starts clearing out a path - looks like the host has caught wind of the commotion sowon has caused.

you want to curse her too. hurt her with words as much as she hurt you with her physical assault. but instead you find yourself dropping your gaze.

“i’m sorry, sowon.” is all you say before mr. jung and his army of secretaries approach you and bring you two to different rooms. by the time dinner starts, sowon isn’t around - it’s understandable, her pride wouldn’t allow her to let these people poke fun at her.

but you don’t survive this world you’re born in by running away - you survive it by developing skin as untouchable as scales. so you stay until desert, smiling with a sore cheek and conversing with those who you know would be neutral about the incident, like nothing happened.

taehyung sticks closer to you. he doesn’t ask if you’re okay - you’re not. but when you tug on his sleeve and timidly murmur you wish to go home, he does so without hesitation. it’s times like these you’d choose him over the world.

x

the tabloids love gossip. a sensational, popcorn-worthy scoop. there are two divided groups thanks to that. the first one is devoted to the belief that it’s a love triangle between you, taehyung and sowon. the other one, choosing to dig deeper than what’s on the surface, believes it goes way back. ten years back.

“sorry, i should have told you sowon was my ex-fiance - it didn’t occur to me until i saw the articles that you two might meet at a function.” seokjin finally says, the strawberry ice cream beginning to melt in its paper bowl when he asked you to ‘at least, let me cure your injury,’ - you didn’t, in a - make that ten - million years picture it to be in a form of an ice cream bowl he bought from the mini convenience store next to the cafeteria. it was to hold it on your cheek but you couldn’t just let good food go to waste.

it hurts to even smile but you can’t help it at the thought of the rumored half-mad doctor using his break for something besides working some more. coupled with a shake of your head and the plastic spoon trapped in between your lips, you look just as insane. 

your heart still clenches at the recollection of the other night, “i knew you two were engaged.”

his shoulder line straightens just the slightest bit as he lifts one eyebrow, not completely surprised but neither is he unfazed. so you continue, “it was by pure dumb luck that you turn out to be the best marriage prospect for me but i thought she was over it since it’s been years.”

there it is again, the churning in your stomach. like something’s eating you from the inside. if you focus enough, you can hear the voice inside your head scoffing - even if they’d just broken up yesterday, you still would have proposed to seokjin, maybe even the day after said break up. 

this time, you don’t look away when his eyes meet yours. you let him strip your armor down to your very core. show him just what kind of person you are - the person who wouldn’t let anything get in the way of her ambitions. wouldn’t dwell cheap sentiments like friendship. even if that made you - as sowon would put it - a bitch.

then, he lets out a heavy sigh - the kind of sigh a parent would do when their kid got in trouble and admitted their fault. so now he can’t lecture you on morals and ethics because you have your own principles.

if anything, it reminds you of the glaring difference in your age - the things he’s already experienced that you’re about to someday. the betrayals. the broken friendships. the choices between what you want and what you need. he’s probably seen this all before.

“is an old man like me really worth all that trouble?” the tiniest of smile graces his strong feature. eyebrows wavering with something you can’t pinpoint.

“well, there’s a doctor - kim suho.” this time, you don’t bother pointing out his not-even-that-old age. the way his eye twitches barely noticeably tells you he doesn’t expect your answer. a moment later, it becomes too apparent, from his troubled expression - brows stiffed and jaws tight, that he doesn’t like the idea of you asking for another man’s hand in marriage. you have to tell yourself to refrain from smiling, not because your cheek might hurt again but because it’s probably not a good time to tease him.

deciding to release him from his own misery, you quickly elaborate, “but he has an average background - no matter how much experience he has, you don’t just get on your knees and start slithering with the snakes. you have to be born into the family. so yes,” you place your ice cream on the coffee table, hand pushing back a strand of hair to appear more delicate and win his favor while you let a furtive smile adorn your face - and there’s a smile he’s suppressing too because he knows what you’re trying to do, “this old man is definitely worth it.”

his shoulder line seems to ease up as he tries to hide a relieved sigh by clearing his throat. but it’s short lived when the crease between his brows returns and a newfound tension settles in space on the couch separating the two of you, “yes, but suho was never the one i should be on a look out for, was he?”

you blink but he’s already shaking his head. a smile on his face, “never mind.”

x

things seem to settle down - everyone at the hospital knows about you and seokjin now. and you’ve managed to convince him to finally use his off days to spend it on preparing for the wedding. cake tasting. dress and suit fitting. deciding on what color the napkins should be - a month ago, you approached seokjin with the mindset to make him agree to marry you. after all, prince charming was the one who had it all - it didn’t make sense to have cinderella do all the wedding planning.

he was mad at you for some reason - it lasted for quite awhile until you directly asked why he’d been given you the cold shoulders. “you keep playing a two man game by yourself.” he sighed when he said those words - because he saw in your eyes, that you thought there was nothing wrong to be finishing what you started by yourself, “we’re getting married - we’re gonna become a team yet you keep making decisions by yourself.”

ever since then, you started asking if he wanted to join you to the cake and dessert tasting, napkin color picking. you didn’t realize how nice it was to do things with another person than decide it on your own.

and somewhere along the way, you started teasing him more.

“if the saying ‘men age like fine wine’ is a person,” a grin slips over your face as you shamelessly give seokjin is a once over, “then you’d be the embodiment of that.”

he doesn’t seem to mind - rather, he seems like he’s enjoying the attention as he chuckles and shakes his head. probably thinking there’s no saving you and your compliments now.

“come here.” it’s the way he says it - with a smile on his lips and eyes that says you’re all he sees and hand extended to capture yours, that makes you jump from your seat. the front of the dress bunched up in your hands as to not trip over it and right into his arms. just like moth drawn to flames.

he pulls you up over the platform that he’s been standing on and lets you stand in front of him, hand on your shoulder as you stare in front of the 3 part mirror in the boutique. the dress you have on is a light gold dress with a sweetheart neckline that wraps around your curves flawlessly down to your knees and flow out like a mermaid’s tail. seokjin has on a traditional cobalt blue single breasted suit with three buttons fitting around his waist perfectly. his hair is gelled back the way you specifically requested.

he gave you a quizzical look as though wanting you to elaborate on your reason for that request but you’d only left him with a kiss on the cheek and a ‘see you on monday.’

if there’s one thing you learned about seokjin, it’s that he’s devastatingly unaware of his strong features that makes every woman’s legs turn to jelly and every man’s heart skip a beat. and he chooses to hide it under that usual middle parted style.

seokjin’s reflection bends down but his eyes remains on you as he whispers against the shell of your ears, “you look exquisite.”

you have half the mind to push him off and run away in case he’d ear the erratic beating in your chest but he probably already knows from the way you shyly look away. the you from a year ago would laugh at what you’ve become - the kind of girl that gets flustered and can’t form a proper sentence in the presence of a male. but before you can respond, a boisterous voice from the sofa you were sitting at, announces, “alright, next!”

your teeth clench together as you whirl around to face taehyung’s silly grin. that cockblocker - he knew you were having a moment and went out of his way to ruin it. “what are you even here for? don’t you have something better to do?”

for once, taehyung isn’t on his phone. you wouldn’t mind it so much if he’d just ignore you half of the time whenever you hang out. “your mom tasked me to find you a perfect dress since she can’t be here.” there’s a glint in his eyes - something ratchet and devious but his lips curve like that of an angel.

you don’t miss seokjin’s tightened jaw and stiff shoulder line as he helps you down the platform. ever since taehyung showed up ten minutes into fitting, seokjin’s expression has been switching from that suave smile to looking like he has a splinter stuck in his thumb - a human sized splinter that goes by the name of kim taehyung.

you never thought you’d live to see the day when kim seokjin would harbor any sort of animosity towards someone - he’s probably a strict supervisor, but resentful? can’t be.

you chalk it up with the plain fact that anyone who’s not head over heels for taehyung would want to skin him alive on the early stages of getting to know him.

“hm? seokjin’s not here yet?” you ask once you’re back from the fitting room, having slipped into an ivory trumpet shaped dress. it’s a much simpler design compared to the one you had on which makes it a perfect counter part for the after party. “that’s a first, the lady finishing first than the guy.”

“oh, it’s not that unusual.” taehyung snickers. guess that just shows how confident he is with his skills.

“i’ve never been this tired and i’ve only tried on three dresses.” instead of entertaining his remark, you choose plop down next to him.

“sparky, does he love you?” it’s that nickname that gets you.

there are only two circumstances where he would call you that: one, when he wants to annoy you and two, when he’s feeling nostalgic. guess it’s finally hitting him that you’re no longer kids chasing each other around in one of his mansions. you’re both grown up and one is trying out wedding gowns.

“uh, me and seokjin are about to get married, taetae.” you throw in a nickname of your own just to lighten up the mood.

but all it does is lift the corners of his lips into a wistful smile. and that’s how you know you can’t be telling your half-truths. and evading his question isn’t working all that well either. “it feels like we can talk about things more openly now - but no, i don’t think he does. he’s marrying me to become the next chairman and i’m after his money and maybe get a kid out of him too.” a knot forms in your stomach - something about what you said doesn’t sit well with you but this is what you wanted. this is what you prepared for the moment you decided to ask seokjin for his hand in marriage. you shouldn’t hope for more.

the laugh taehyung lets out is reactionary. humorless. “can’t you wait for me? i know i’m in no position to ask - but can’t you?”

two years and three months ago, when you were a little youthful, had a little more stars in your eyes - maybe you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat. with every birthday you celebrate, fear rears its ugly head and reminds you that time isn’t an illusion and you know better than to bet on something - someone you're not sure you can win.

your heart aches a similar way it did two years ago - but you know now it’s not because it’s breaking to pieces. instead it’s hurting for the pieces of that young boy you could never hope to complete using yours. it took awhile but you know how to get back on your feet - but it’s not all that simple for taehyung. only he can fix his broken pieces.

“i stopped, taehyung,” you finally say, gaze burning holes inside the lace material of the dress, “the moment you told me you can’t - i stopped loving you. i’m glad i did because it wasn’t love. i was just scared to lose you like you’re afraid to lose me now,” you tug on his hand to get him to look at you and he does - all of a sudden, you’re both eight, inside your own bedroom with your dolls and his remote control cars strewn across the floor, “but you’ll always be my taetae and i’ll always be your sparky - i’m always gonna be here for you.”

you thought he’d changed. it’s nice to know he still uses a fruit scented shower gel when he brings you into a hug. the piercing sweet scent isn’t as strong as you remember it. the hug lasts a bit longer and his body is trembling slightly but you know it’s going to be okay - even if he packs up and leave for a foreign city like two years ago when you told him you loved him and you had to hunt him down through your wits and will (that damned private investigator accumulated a fortune to last him for probably ten years). at the end of the day, you’ll come back to each other. because the bond you’ve formed is thicker than the blood coursing through your veins.

“if he makes you cry, you come to me, okay?” you can’t even be mad when he ruffles your hair before picking up his blazer and shrugging it on. by the end of it, you’re both smiling - though his remains wistful, yours is sanguine.

it’s only after taehyung’s figure disappears through the door, do you notice the feeling of a pair of eyes burning holes inside your head.

“seokjin.”

the man is leaning against the door where his changing room is. you don’t need to ask why his brows are strained and the lips that would usually grace you with a smile, is pressed into a tight line.

x

“i never knew-” seokjin stops himself, lips pressed together as though he doesn’t want to say it, but he does with a shake of his head, “-no, i did know there was something between you and taehyung.”

you end up in seokjin’s apartment. the whole ride has been stiff silent. it’s the first you’ve seen him so disheveled. his tie hangs loose on his neck as though he’d yanked it without a care in the world and forgot about it. the first two buttons of his button down are undone. what once was his perfectly sleeked back hair disheveled from having been mussed up.

the hot chocolate seokjin made you is losing heat the longer you hold onto to it for the sake of having something to do with your hands. “i proposed to him two years ago and stopped loving him as soon as he turned me down - taehyung, he... he’s got a lot going on. that’s all i can say. i hope you don’t misunderstand what you saw.”

his eyes turn as round as saucers for the briefest moment before they flutter to their original almond shapes. shoulder line shaking from chuckling - but there’s nothing funny about any of this so you keep your eyes on him. if he needed confirmation of the truth you’re speaking, he need only search it in the windows of your soul.

“that’s very like you, ___.” he finally says.

you’re not sure what he meant but you’re not about to ponder on it either, “is there anything else you’d like to know about me, seokjin? there’s no reason for me to lie to you - we’re about to get stuck with each other for the rest of our lives. we should at least be able to talk about our past openly.”

when he doesn’t seem to have any other inquiry, you decide to let go of your pride - the reason you never asked was because you were too proud to be wrong. growing up, there were only a few people that you let poke fun at you and fewer you’d let prove you wrong. it dawned on you some time after you’re all showered and ready to go to bed one night - that you’re about to let seokjin waltz into your life and he’ll bear witness to your most intimate side. he’s about to be said one of the fewer people.

“then, my turn - why did you want me to stop attending social functions? i’ve been doing it my whole life - i’m good at it. and i’m not planning to stop just because i got married unless you have a proper reason for asking me to.”

the way his gaze drops tells you it wasn’t just a baseless request. you reach out across the counter, slipping your hands into his. that seems to have brought him back.

“my parents chose to attend a function instead of staying by my grandfather’s side even when the doctor told them he wouldn’t make it til morning - they weren’t even sorry. couldn’t even stay throughout the whole funeral.” he shakes his head almost as though being hung up over it was ridiculous yet couldn’t move past it either, “it’s ugly what too much wealth does - i just- i’m sorry i asked such a thing from you. it’s my own problem that i have to deal with, you don’t have to stop.”

it’s not hard to put yourself in his shoes. you understand where he’s coming from - you want to tell him that but somehow words are cheap. especially right in this moment.

so without thinking, you slip off the stool and walk around the counter until you reach him. the last thing you see before you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to your level, is his wondrous gaze.

the man doesn’t flinch away from your touch nor does he welcome it in any way. but the longer the seconds stretch on, the more you realize how idiotic and awkward it is to hug someone you barely know - it worked for taehyung but that’s only because he knew you preferred action rather than words.

“i’m not gonna stop completely but i won’t go as often - it’s getting boring anyway.” you nonchalantly say - or at least try to sound like you’ve lost interest in the function on your own. you haven’t been to any since that incident with sowon, waiting out for the rumors to die down is a better choice.

the body in your arms is unresponsive as ever - you would think you’re hugging a dead body if not for the heat of his breath fanning your delicate skin. maybe he’s just too nice to push a lady away. just as you’re about retract your arms, a warm hand rests on your hip. his touch is soft and gentle - as if he’s handling a porcelain doll while you’d just dragged him down to you without even considering how uncomfortable the angle would be given his tall broad frame. 

his body vibrates when he lets out a short breath like a brief chuckle, “you’re very generous with your hugs.”

your brain short circuits when the man raises his head from your shoulder and rests his forehead on yours - it reminds you of how woman you are. even when he’s sitting he still hovers over you. his free hand cups your jaw, thumb lightly pressing on your lower lip. so this is what it felt like when your roles were switched - is he going to give you a false sense that he’ll kiss you the way you would him?

“may i?” he’s smiling when he repeats your own words - eyes trapping the ray of sunlight that pours over the wall-window like an illuminate waterfall. for the first time since you know him, you’re scared. not of what he will do but of what you want him to - but he won’t do.

your train of thoughts dissipates along with your worry the moment his lips touch yours. gentle. yet the hand pulling you into him is possessive. something in your stomach churns with butterflies.

you want to say you don’t know how you end up with your stomach pressed against his crotch or how his semi-hard arousal started rubbing into your abdomen. it’s supposed to be awkward but it isn’t and you know he’s refraining from addressing his aroused state to avoid making it uncomfortable for you - even though every time you shift and lean into him, you see his the gentle bob of his adam’s apple. it makes you want him even more. he leans into your touch as soon as you reach for him like moth drawn to flames.

“right.” he declares as if he’s been reminded of something when he comes in contact with one of the ridge of the rock on your middle finger. it’s your own engagement ring you ordered with seokjin’s. when the man spoke about getting you one, you’d held up your left hand and told him you already had one made. in fact, you never took it off since the day you put it on - which was the same day it came it.

understandably, you’re always wearing more than a ring on your hand - it’s easy to mix up between the ring from your personal collection or a ring of promise. especially when you didn’t tell him you got one made for yourself.

the hand on your cheek is warm as it brushes against your cheekbones, your rolls off his tongue like sweet honey, “what did i ever do to make you think i don’t love you?”

you blink once. you heard his words but your mind isn’t registering anything. but it seems your heart has seem to figure it out from the way it’s accelerating, you’re afraid seokjin might hear it. “wh-what?”

all of a sudden, you have this urge to pull the invisible blinds of his wall-window and hide from the peering rays of the sun. seokjin’s airy gaze. your fallen dress strap. the gentle protrusion in his pants. your own mussed up hair - you want to keep this moment all to yourself.

he pecks your forehead one last time. this lips curling into a smile - he knows you heard him. loud and clear and you have a feeling you’ll be hearing it at the most unpredictable moment from now on. so there’s no rush.

“where should we go for dinner?” 

x

seokjin knows they call him the doctor version of a mad scientist. he knows a plenty of many things. like how he’s more strict with the junior physicians under his care. but that’s only because if he treats them below their potential, they’ll end up being that.

but the part where suho jokingly told him that he was crazy for working on holidays - maybe he was.

he’d moved out as soon as he turned 18 and eventually cut off his parents. before, even if it was just for show, he still got to see them during those functions they held.

but by the time he graduated college and started interning as a doctor - he was already erasing part of his existence. and his parents didn’t seem to notice. it made it cutting them off effortless.

but then, loneliness - pure, unadulterated loneliness started to sink its claws into him. so he turned to work even more. built his life around it.

by the time he became a fellow, he had absolutely zero social life. the only human interaction he had was with his patients - but they come and go. sure they’re grateful for him - and since the private hospital he’s working at is frequented mostly by the richest, he’d received gifts like cars or gold bars from one of his elderly patients who were convinced they were going to die - until they woke up from a successful surgery done by seokjin himself. but they eventually forget him.

and of course, he returned those gifts. he’d be no different than his parents - than the people he wished not to see anymore after he left that world. but the one thing he thought he wanted - the one thing he thought would make him happy, started to burn him out. every birthday was just a reminder that he’s half the age his soul is. 

he’s worn and tired and losing sight of that man he told himself to be by a certain age.

that is, until you came along. at first, it was just courtesy that he listened to what you had to say - apparently you were the ceo. and quite literally, his boss. at first, he thought you were messing with him when you asked for his hand in marriage - no one just waltzes in and propose to someone they don’t know.

even those convenient marriages don’t go this way. but he’d accepted it anyway.

it has more to do with those eyes of yours than the chairman position. those eyes - they remind him so much of himself. the current him. except where his soul wanes, yours thirsts to thrive. like a dying cactus refusing to dry out.

you had thorns but picking them out wasn’t a problem - you’d been disconcerted at first but you’d quickly learn to use it to your advantage. telling him only the truth or nothing. since evasion and half-truths don’t work on him the way they would work on the people you probably surrounded yourself with. and he knew exactly what type of people they were.

eventually, you started telling him the blunt, honest truth. it threw him off a few times - like when you’d straight out told him that you knew who sowon was and still went for him.  and that time when you admitted that he was the second man to receive your proposal - the first being that brat, taehyung. and then, you’d straight out asked him about why he didn’t want you attending functions anymore instead of ignoring his request like his parents would. or flip out of shame for having your lie found out. you were forbearing but firm. sometimes, it felt like you were much older than him. 

but then you had a childish side to you too - it was food for his soul. every time he was with you, he felt like himself again. like that boy who applied for a job at the hospital with only his wits and his will backing him up. at first, he’d only saw that side of you in front of your most treasured people. your father. your mother. taehyung.

what you and taehyung have - seokjin will never come close to comprehend. a bond so strong, not even death could tear you apart. it became apparent too soon to seokjin that taehyung dominated parts of your life and he’ll only have a but a crevice of his presence in yours. your smile would always be a little brighter when you’re with the younger man. eyes always drifting away from him to taehyung.

and he was content with that but he thinks you’ve changed. or maybe it’s him that did. because you’re grinning at him now - like there’s something up your sleeves. and there is - his eyes widen at your brazenness. one minute he was admiring the way you lasted for hours in those heels that you just kicked off - you’d been wearing them starting from the ceremony to the reception and finally the after party but the next minute, you were grinning and pulling him with you down onto the velvet sheets. the your dress has ridden up to just below your knees in the process and seokjin’s caressing your exposed calf - he thinks you’re all the more delicate. your skin, too soft. he’s afraid he might bruise you.

“oh,” you speak into his mouth before pulling away without even a peck on his lips - but there’s a twinkle in your eyes when you pick up a small golden box that sat prettily on the night stand, “almost forgot. for you.”

“i didn’t get you a wedding gift.” he announces, pushing down the suspicion dominating his brain but how can he not pull out the ribbon to find out what you’ve prepared for him, when you’re looking at him like that? all grin and proud and saying something like you didn’t need one.

then his face falls and he’s looking at you deadpanned in the eye after noting the too familiar tablet of blue pills. but the frown doesn’t live long - he finds himself shaking his head. a smile wedging itself on  his own face, “viagra. really?”

“better safe than sorry, right?” it's not right context - usually, a condom would be involved where that sentenced is used. but you know from seokjin’s dazed stare that he doesn’t get it - but he chooses to admire your features instead.

it takes everything in you not to bury your face in his chest just because his stare is making you feel like a high school girl with a crush. his eyes don’t make you want to reel away from him and cover every scar and lies with a thick blanket anymore. perhaps it has something to do with the fact that there isn’t any that he hasn’t seen. both your flaws and your virtue - if he wanted to run away, there were plenty of chances for him to do so but he stayed and now - now, you’ll never let him go. hold him captive in your castle, smooth criminal. you lean and press a kiss on his lips - just to make him close his eyes.

when you pull away, his lips chases yours. just like moth drawn to flames. you can’t help but giggle - it’s cut short when his hand weaves itself into your hair and bring you down to him.

you barely notice the hand that wraps around your wrist before your back hits the soft mattress. his shoulders appear more broad now that he’s hunched over you like a beast who hasn’t had a drop of water since the drought. at times like these you’re reminded of how man he is and how woman you are. a fact you seem to forget because he’s been playing along with your little games like a well-behaved child.

“hey, no fair!” lips pursed, you cross your arms in a show of protest. but he chuckles that soothing chuckle and he’s standing on his knees while the frame of his belt glints in warning.

your heart skips a beat at the sight of his arousal that was begging to be released from the confinements of his cobalt blue pants. the sigh he breathes out when he pulls down the zipper, sends shivers down your spine.but disappointment makes your face fall when he leaves it like that instead of pushing his pants down along with it.

that’s okay. you tell yourself. we’re married now-

you reach out for him only to have a hand wrap around your wrist, your fingers hovering achingly close to the gentle protrusion in his black boxers but not really touching.

you crane your neck to look at him but when your eyes meet, your words die in your throat. the smile is gone and in its place, is a tilted smirk, “are you sure? once we start i might not be able to stop.”

it’s that question that gets your heart writhing and crying to be set free from the confinement of your rib cages.

“seokjin,” the name tastes delectably sinful tonight, “i’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

maybe it’s the vow you’re making on the absolutely zero occasion where you’ve been this rapt by a man. maybe it’s your out of character use of the curse - that’s just how much you want this. or maybe it’s both. either way, seokjin’s gripping handfuls of your dress and you wordlessly raise your hands up for him to pull your dress off you.

it’s the way his eyes travel down your body. hunger. madness. lust. they meld together in those darkened eyes of his yet you’ve never felt so safe. he dives in for a kiss. this time, it’s raw and passionate and has no intention to stop halfway - not after he made it clear that he couldn’t and not after you pleaded for him to take you.

your white cotton bra is first to go - you only wore it because the straps won’t contrast too much with the strap of your dress. initially, you were going to tease him a bit and disappear into the bathroom to change into the lacy black lingerie set you’d specifically ordered to be custom made by victoria’s secret. but with the way he’s kneading your breast in his palm and the way you’re clawing against his clothed chest like a ravenous creature - the lingerie can wait.

“take off your clothes.” in your head, it sounded more demanding - but it comes out breathy and begging. a part of you chide yourself for waving the white flag before the game even began but another part of you is tired of being the only one bare and naked.

there’s a godless gleam in his eyes the moment he heard your request and you should have known seokjin wouldn’t make it that easy for you. this is karma coming back to bite you in your butt naked state after all those times you spent teasing the man and him accepting it without any complaint. you thought he was just mature enough to get over it. it turns out he was just a beast laying in wait to claim what he deserves, “what’s the magic word?”

“please.” you answer in a heartbeat.

that same heart stops beating the second he shakes his head. no. wrong answer. “the other one - do you really think i didn’t notice? the way you tease me - the way you know i won’t do anything about it because i’m older, i have to be a bigger person?”

that’s when your pride comes crashing in like tidal wave. walk away, it says. you take back what you said about having nothing to hide from seokjin - there’s one. and you thought you’d keep it with you. let it be buried in your grave. but he knows - like he knows every layer of your existence. your every desire and compulsion. it’s disgraceful and mortifying, for you. but seokjin holds your gaze and wait, wait, wait - he doesn’t seem to share your thoughts - doesn’t look disgusted either.

“daddy.” the moment the word leaves your mouth, you feel liberated. freed. like a long overdue confession. the pleased look on seokjin’s face is everything and more. “daddy, please.”

“as you wish.” he’s your liberator. your freer. and he’s about to grant your one carnal desire.

his clothes hit the ground within less than a minute. you can’t help but gawk at his perfectly sculpted physique. it’s like gods personally descended the heavens and blessed him in his mother’s womb and stayed by his side up until now - only for him to scorn them right in this moment. your body bounces off the bed lightly when his fingers dig in your thigh, pulling you closer like a ragged doll. a small yelp escapes you.

your panties are the last to go. discarded somewhere on the floor along with yours and his wedding attire.

the first whimper escapes the moment he slips into you, but not fully. he lets you take him in, get used to his size and directs your hand to his lips before placing it on his shoulder. as if telling you, you can hurt him, claw him until his back is raw and bleeding.

you wouldn’t at first - opting to keep your hands fisted while you try your hardest to suppress every moan that erupts from your mouth with every stroke. but then he hits that sweet spot. your back arches forward and you think it’s that moment when your fingers break the delicate skin on his back - but you can’t remember. it’s a blur - the electricity coursing from your heart through your veins and curls your toes. the stars you see in the back of your mind and the way you tighten around him when the delectable sound of his moans brushes the shell of your ear as he holds you against him.

he almost crushed him underneath his weight when he pulls out of you. the traces of his arousal pressing in between your bodies as he forces himself up by propping himself on his forearms. his labored breath fans your face and he’s all you see.

there’s still a surplus of tingle in your lower abdomen how high he takes you - almost like cloud nine. and you’re slick with sweat and body fluid but there’s no where you’d rather be than here, in your husband’s arms.

five months ago, you approached him with the objective of gaining a husband to take the chairman position and maybe give you the grandchild that your mother’s been asking you for. you didn’t expect for anything more than what you bargained for. but the first time he told you how he felt - you still didn’t believe him. 

it was too surreal. and seokjin probably saw the tendrils of doubt every time he tells you how he feels - at the most sporadic moment. but he kept picking your thorns one by one like he could do this for a hundred years and more. you think i was that day when he found out about your past feelings for taehyung that he started. and he finally picked all of your prickly spikes - and now, he’s holding you like a child. head buried in between your breasts, muscled arms loosely hugging your waist. what a contrasting different to the man he was half an hour ago but so very seokjin of him.

the elated breath he lets out with his sigh is warm on your skin, “you know how to make an old man feel young.”

there he does it again. he’s been saying he’s old even though he’s only in his 30′s. at first you thought he was joking but over time - you think he truly believes he is. but when you agree with him-

“is your back okay? wouldn’t want your ancient bones breaking.” you pat his head sympathetically. 

almost as if you’ve pushed a that button with a flashy warning red on it, his fingers twine around your wrist and pull it away from his head. the bed shifts as he hovers over you with an aggrieved glint, “i’m sure there are greater things that little mouth of yours can do than express your concerns for my back, sweetheart.”

your heart skips a beat.

x

epilogue.

you love being married.

not because you can strut to seokjin’s office and have everyone know you have every right to be there. nor because the board can’t really say anything since seokjin fits every characteristics of a chairman either. but because-

“we’ve been at it like rabbits,” seokjin shoulder line jolts slightly when your arms gently wrap around him from behind but there’s a sort of mirth laced in his voice, “you’re still not tired?”

“what ever do you mean, dear husband?” your voice is sweet but not entirely innocent.

sure, you did it an hour ago and you’re both supposed to get ready for bed but when you stepped out of the bathroom and find the bed empty, you had to wander outside. you know he’d be in the living room reviewing past years’ reports in his preparation to take on your dad’s position. he could just step up first and get familiar with his job along the way - but it wouldn’t have been very seokjin to enter the battlefield without polishing his armor.

he smells like peppermint and lavender. donning a plain white shirt and grey sweats - it’s the second most dressed down you’ve ever seen him in compared to the white-collars you’re so used to seeing him in. the first, being when he’s in bed, of course.

“okay, well, i’m going to bed first.” with a peck on his cheek, you bid him a good night.

but it’s not in your nature to give up without a fight - or rather, without sauntering in front him in your pastel pink camisole. you put on the a black and gold corset on your first monthivasery - it was just an excuse for you to try on the lingerie and it paid off. but there’s just something about camisoles - floral or plain pastels are what gets him prancing on you like a hungry beast. it looks like you’re not the only one with a fetish.

the cleaner comes in every twice a week and you’re not here enough to mess up the place except the master bedroom - like seokjin said, you have been going at it like rabbits. still, you bend down, making sure your ass is perked a little higher as you rearrange the picture frames on the rack under the tv.

a tune of your favorite song vibrates against your throat for thirty-six seconds before you straighten your back and begin to walk towards the bedroom. but something you caught in your periphery halts your steps, “did you just check out my ass then bite your lip? ‘cause if you did we’re having sex. right now.”

that seems to catch him off guard - you’ve been finding new and creative ways to get fucked. some worked. and by worked, you mean it had you moaning and writhing as he took you raw. some failed. meaning he had relented mainly because you were asking and he wanted to please you - at times like those, he was the one lying down, watching you ride him but halfway through, he’d pulled you down and started fucking you missionary because ‘you were good darling, but watching you makes me want to personally fuck you senseless. you can ride me next time, i promise.’

either way, your work life is superb and your sex life is out of this world. especially with a husband like seokjin. guess that dry spell has finally lifted and unleashed the hungry beast in him.

seokjin sighs, eyebrows coming together in a troubled frown but the lump in his pants say otherwise. “when you’re sore and need me to walk you to your office tomorrow, remember you asked for this.”

something in the pit of your stomach churns. your heart races with adrenaline as he takes two steps with those long legs of his and close the distance. a yelp escapes your lips, not expecting him to hoist you over his shoulder like you weight nothing and landing a smack on your ass like he’s reprimanding you.

“seokjin! put me down, i’m heavy!” you cry out, smacking his back in protest. when you wanted him to take you, this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind - it’d be a completely, perfect lie if you say you weren’t dripping with excitement.

“this way’s faster than your tiny little legs, darling.” you can hear the smirk in his voice before he kisses the exposed skin on your hip.

x

note: and that’s it. but it’s not over yet! there might be drabbles coming up on our fav couple’s adventure as they try to get preggo lmaooo also i’ll be doing a ‘story time’ where i talk about the background of this fic - what inspired me to write it, why i titled it like the way i did and i’d like to dissect and oc and tae’s relationship and so much more. send me an ask if you have something in particular you want me to address from the fic!

if you like this fic feel free to check out namjoon’s version called good guys finish last. i’m also planning to turn this au into a series for every member. taehyung or yoongi will be next!

[bisexualsforprompto]

The Burden of the Bond Pt. 2

So sorry it took so long guys! Hope it’s worth the wait :)

Also I just need to say a few things!!!!!!

1. OMFG GUYS!!!! Tomorrow (October 5th) marks a WHOLE YEAR OF MY WRITING! I’m absolutely thrilled, sharing my writing with all of you has absolutely made me a better person and writer. I’m more confident thanks to all of you ❤️

2. School has been kicking my ass recently and reading all of your comments on the first part of this when I went to see who asked to be tagged made my day and honestly, has made me be able to smile and forgot about all my stress for a little while

TLDR: I love you all so very much ❤️ now enjoy!!!!!

Part one

After walking through Gotham for only a few weeks Marinette had already adjusted her routine and mannerisms. Every time she took a step in the dark, gloomy city was a step closer to danger.

In a way, it was almost training for her. A reminder to stay on her guard. That no matter what could happen to her in this godforsaken city, there was still a threat looming out there that was far worse.

Sucking in a breath, Marinette began to take a casual stroll down the street, on the lookout for any signs of trouble.

The longer she stayed in Gotham the more she realized that she stuck out like a sore thumb. Not because of her dirty clothes, that was normal here, in fact if she ever had worn something else (like clothes she used to sketch out back when she wanted to go into design) she might’ve stuck out even more. No, it was because of how she acted.

Timid and meek, caring at times, always letting others push through her. She was nothing like the shrewd Gothamites who thrived off of the cruelty they were forced to show. How odd that a place could do that to a person. Harden them past the point of no return. Marinette could feel the darkness emitting from Gotham the moment she arrived, it almost shook her. Though, she had experienced far more darkness…

After so long of running in constant fear and never treated better than a mere extra in a movie, one would think Marinette would’ve made a tougher exterior for herself, and yet, she stayed soft in some ways. To blend in though, she realized that would have to change.

Gathering some Gotham standard courage and abrasion, Marinette squirmed her way through a large crowd walking down a bustling street. When she was gifted with glares and some obscenities she knew she was getting all the better at hiding in the crowd.

She breathed in the polluted air and let out a sigh as she walked past a somewhat abandoned looking bakery. It seemed to be filled with cobwebs inside, and it had a rather dilapidated exterior, but it still managed to make Marinette’s heart ache.

She thought of the days in the bakery with her parents...they were warm and loving. Her dad smelled like bread and flour while her mother always seemed to smell of flowers and pastries. She could almost breathe in their soothing scents now.

Blinking back tears, she took a shaky breath. Leaving them was necessary for both their safety and her own. She couldn’t put it past Damian to go after her family.

It didn’t make leaving hurt any less though…

Taking a deep breath inwards, Marinette focused back on those days. Spilling flour all over herself, laughing with her old friends, making quasi dresses for her dolls. She set on a relieved smile, the memories were one thing that he could never take away from her. Not that all of them were pleasant, but even the bad times still made her wish she was back in Paris.

Sometimes Marinette wondered where she would be if she had a different soulmate, or even had none. Maybe she could’ve been a designer, the thought made her chest flutter, she still had a small passion for fashion.

Reflecting on her past hobby, Marinette let out a contented sigh. She closed her eyes for a split second before realizing she was still in front of the bakery, simply standing in front of the window.

She shook herself out of it and chastised herself for not staying vigilant. She continued walking down the street, taking in the different sights and sounds. Hyperfocusing on the people leisurely walking down the sidewalk, scanning for familiar faces, remembering that recognizing one could spell her doom.

Clenching her hands into fists, Marinette ventured on. She found herself near one of Gotham’s many dark alleys.

The occasional noise from an alley was expected, but Marinette was certainly not expecting a blood curdling scream.

The busy street kept moving however, nobody sparing even a look to where the sound had come from.

Marinette stopped in her tracks, earning her dirty looks from those behind her.

“Help me! Someone help me, please!” A feminine voice cried out.

Marinette began to peer down the alley, but wasn’t able to get a good look at what was going down.

“S-shouldn't someone help them?” She asked shyly, almost to herself.

The question gave a myriad of responses, but each eye roll, scoff, “Batman will come soon,” and chuckle gave the same answer; don’t bother.

Another scream came from the alley.

Logically, Marinette knew if there was a real problem, she wouldn’t be much help, but yet something in her wanted to move.

Whimpers and yelps followed, Marinette still dumbfounded and stuck in place.

She grit her teeth as she wondered what to do.

Should she try to help? Should she run in the other direction?

The choice seemed murky to her, but before she knew it…

Her feet moved on their own.

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