#my current one I’m trying to think up something cute for is you survived the abuse you will survive the recovery

[madigoround]

I’m back on my ‘trying to think of a good ptsd/child abuse survivor tattoo’ bullshit

[eddiesxangel]

The Kissing Booth | E.M x G!N!Reader

Cw: flufffffff, mild angst on Eddie’s part. Smooching. Reader wears lipgloss. No use of pronouns.

Wc 1.4K

Eddie could not believe this was happening to him.

“Nope, nope, no way, man. Over my dead body-“

“What my boy means is he is grateful he is not being suspended and will graciously accept his punishment of volunteering at the school fair.” Wayne looks at his nephew with a glare in his eyes that Eddie hasn’t seen in a very long time.

“Great, then it’s settled,” Ms. Laughlin, the guidance councillor, smiles.

It was happening. Eddie was being served the most gruesome punishment, and all because he skipped P.E. of all classes.

Eddie Munson was being forced not only to participate in the school fair but to work the kissing booth, of all things.

How on earth would he survive this? Not only would he be the laughingstock of the school, but he would also have to endure the absolute embarrassment of having no one come up to his booth, and he would also have to be forced to participate in extracurricular activities.

“Just wait until Hellfire hears about this boy,” Wayne laughs as he drives him and Eddie back to the trailer.

All Eddie could do was roll his eyes; he could never show his face again.

“You’re not going to believe the rumour I heard today.” Nancy looks at you from over her shoulder. She is sat at your vanity.

“What?” You asked, intrigued, as you got dressed and got ready for tonight’s festivities.

“A little birdy told me that a certain someone is working the kissing booth tonight.” She smirks.

“Who?” You challenge her back.

“Who, what?” Robin walks into the bedroom from the bathroom.

“Nancy knows who is working one of the kissing booths tonight, but who’s telling me” you pout.

“Ohhhhhhhh,” Robin smirks knowingly.

“Oh, not you, too! Come on, who is it!”

Robin and Nancy give one another a nod of the head before Nancy speaks.

“Eddie Munson.”

“Ha ha, very funny; you think I’m going to believe that? How gullible do you think I am?” You snort.

“No, it’s true! Shelly from the student council told me when we were working on the student paper! Instead of detention, this is his punishment, to help out at the fair tonight.” She wiggled her brows at you suggestively.

“Who else’s working it?” You try and ask casually.

Your friends knew about your crush on Eddie. It had been about a month since you confessed to one of your late-night sleepovers.

“Um, I’m not too sure what other guy, but I think Chrissy is working the girl's booth. Nancy shrugged.

“Cool…cool…” you turned to the closet, now faced with a sense of anxiety to find the perfect top.

Eddie was actually dying on the inside. Ten minutes until his “shift” at the booth, and he wanted to book it.

Running away would solve his problems, right? He would much rather be suspended than have to endure this humiliation. This was a cruel and unusual punishment.

He watched from the sidelines as Josh was at the booth currently. He was the senior star quarterback on the football team. Everyone wanted him. He could just see now the long line disbursing once he stood there.

"Hey man, you're up next in 5." Eddie was snapped out of his internal monologue when he felt a hand resting on his shoulder. He wasn't sure how long he had been there stewing with his own thoughts. "Don't worry, it's not all bad. Some customers are cute," Josh smirks.

Oh god. What if he actually had to kiss someone tonight? He hadn’t thought of that option. Like, what if some actually came up? What would he do? Are they expecting tongue?

“You have some gum or something?” He asked quickly before Josh left.

He smirked and tossed him a pack of icy mint.

“Thanks.”

Eddie peaked around the corner to where the booth was set up. The fair was set up on the school football field. There was a small sign that said be back in 5 and no lineup to be seen.

That made Eddie feel a bit better; no one was there. That took some humility out of it.

Before Eddie could back out and run, he felt another hard hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, Munson, your time to shine.” Jeff and Gareth practically dragged Eddie to the booth, kicking and screaming.

“You’re the worst friends ever,” Eddie huffed as they backed away from the booth. Watching him so he won’t run away.

“You can't serve the time and shouldn’t do the crime.” Jeff laughed.

“That’s not-“ Eddie was cut off mid-sentence as he saw Robin and Nancy pushing you towards the booth just like he had been moments ago.

“Don’t make me do this,” you plead with your best friends.

“You have to do it,” “It’s now or never,” “He’s right there. Just have him your ticket and pucker your lisp. It’s not that hard,” Robin and Nancy whispered in your ear as they dragged you towards Eddie.

“You guys, please, I can’t!” You say a bit too loudly as you fight back your friends from pushing you up to the booth.

You can see the look on Eddie’s face as you are pushed up the step of the booth. He looks disappointed? Disgusted? You’re not too sure.

You let out an embarrassing squeal as you stumbled in front of Eddie. “Um hi”

Despite not being well-acquainted with Eddie, you couldn't help but notice him whenever he walked by. You only exchanged a few words in passing and learned about him through your friends. Although you never had the opportunity to spend time together, you found him to be irresistibly charming and incredibly good-looking. Whenever you caught a glimpse of him in the cafeteria, he never failed to bring a smile to your face with his silly antics and infectious laughter.

“Uh hey,” he spoke back, clearly uncomfortable.

“Busy night for you?” You ask, trying to delay the inevitable.

“Uh nope.”

“Good,” you smile; the thought of Eddie kissing anyone else made you want to vomit.

“Good?” He cocks a brow at you. “The thought of nobody wanting to come up to the freak of Hawkins High is good to you?”

“Oh I didn’t mean it like-“

“Why are you even here?”

“Oh- well- I um-"

“No, I get it. You’re just here on a dare, or you lost the bet, right? I really thought better of Nancy and Robin; I thought they were my friends… You know I heard you say you can’t do this. I understand the thought of kissing me is so terrible that-“

You couldn't help but cut off Eddei from his intrusive thoughts. You held his face with both hands and smushed your lips together. The thought of Eddie thinking that about you was far worse than the fear of kissing him.

It wasn't everything you had dreamed of. However, the kiss was still nice. You felt the eruption of butterflies fill your stomach as Eddie deepened this kiss himself. You kissed him until you could no longer breathe. Only then is when you pull away.

“Woah”

“I hope that was okay.” You shy away.

“Yeah.” Eddie sighed as he took you in.

As he gazed upon you, he was struck by how pretty you were, which he had overlooked until now. The sweet aroma of strawberries wafted from you as the strawberry lipgloss lingered on his lips, just below his nose.

“Um, here,” you jut out your hand with the crinkled ticket you hadn't yet paid with.

“Oh no, no, the house,” Eddie said without thinking and that made you giggle.

“Well, I really only bought a ticket for this, so I might as well cash it in.” you flirt.

“Ok, yeah, sure. Two for one.” Eddie took the ticket from your hand and brought it back to cup your cheek before kissing you again.

You could hear the giggles and cheers of your friends from behind you in the distance, but your main focus was on Eddie. His soft, plush lips. His minty taste, the way his soft hair tickled your cheeks.

“Ok, lovebirds, that’s enough.” the supervising teacher returned with an unimpressed huff.

You begrudgingly pulled away, but with a smile nonetheless.

“Can I get your number?” Eddie’s mouth was moving before his brain could catch up.

“Come find us later, lover boy.” Robin giggled while snatching your arm and pulled you away before you could answer.

“Dude!” Gareth clapped his hands, having witnessed the whole thing.

“Maybe we should sign up for this,” Jeff laughed. A little jealous of what he just witnessed.

After you, Eddie didn’t care if he got another customer for the rest of the night. Maybe this whole kissing booth thing wasn’t too bad after all.

[goldensunset]

so i guess it didn’t occur to me but like. Yeah. even if the app is offline and only provides theater mode that’s still a real canon kingdom hearts entry. those cutscenes are part of the story. and that app is the official means by which those cutscenes are accessible. there’s youtube of course but that’s all the work of fans… without the uxdr app square enix is currently straight up not offering an actual official way to experience this story anymore. which is. really low. nintendo type move. and like. bad for an overarching story that relies on this and is only going to do so more and more…

i’m betting on this being the first symptom of square enix doing something new with this story in the future but for the time being it’s like. man that really reflects poorly… not that it’s even that irrational to take down an app that’s been dead for years now but what it does is bring to light how ridiculous it is that square enix hasn’t done anything else in that time. no announcement of a remake or other new means of making uxdr available, no warning about the app being removed, etc

not to sound like one of the mobile game saga haters but in the end. when you get practical with it. it really is unprofessional and far-fetched for game developers to expect the masses to get into a story that’s only accessible through a gallery of cutscenes on a mobile app. like i understand there are always gonna be casual fans who aren’t interested in every last side game ever (even if they’re wrong) but in general stuff like bbs and ddd or whatever we’re good at appealing to broader audiences. i think square enix really needs to face the reality that people want real and playable games and the rabid passion of us tumblr weirdos who will gladly watch hours of cutscenes isn’t enough to float their boat

like khux has been around for so long you’d think they’d have realized ‘hmm the cute little online pc/mobile game we made got popular and we expanded the lore a lot hmmmm maybe we should reconsider our initial choice if confining it to the realm of a cute little online pc/mobile game.’ it hurts my heart to hear people dissing the mobile games bc it’s done from ignorance of how good they are but i’m not mad at those people. they’re judging a book by its cover but like yeah some books have unappealing covers. i get it. not everyone will immediately see the hype. the khux superfan in me says skill issue they should try harder. the pragmatic person who wants the series to survive says square enix you gotta do something to appeal to the broader audience

and like only offering the thing in a mediocre form is bad enough but it’s even worse now if they don’t even let you have the thing at all. now it really is up to the fans to preserve this work of art? a set of crucial support beams for the entire mythos’ lore is being curated by youtubers doing this entirely out of passion? and square enix doesn’t see a problem with that? mannnn if you want to be taken seriously as a storyteller. provide access to your stories. ideally make it a good and widely popular type of access but at least do something. nintendo type of move smh . as long as they don’t go full nintendo and start striking down people who upload it online

[silverstonesainz-archive]

it’s still the 15 in la so forgive me for the late submission i’m adoring these least-to-most-likely scenarios and would love to hear your thoughts on the 2023 grid + danny, mick, and seb in terms of who’d successfully one day randomly pop up with a secret wife of ten years and three kids as if it were a casual thing

from least-to-most-likely... im sorry this is so long and a lil late

lando -> idk i think its a generational thing where soft launches & validation through social media is all the rave. so i think lando wouldnt or even couldn't hide it even if we wanted to. and i think lando likes showing off his girl, hes very comfortable in his relationships (ie talking about luisa in dts).

pierre -> absolutely not. he loves showing off what– rather who, he loves. i mean yall.... his photos with katerina are still up on his instagram he loves that shit. SO NO he will not being keeping a wife and family a secret. if he had it his way he would livestream his wife giving birth. tell me i'm wrong, i dare you.

logan -> he is a young, white man. and i mean white. american white. and if there is anything i know about caucasian men in all my years of dealing with them, there is no hiding a girl even if their life depended on it. same deal as lando too, where soft launches and the need for validation through posting is very much ingrained in the current dating culture sooooo yea.

fernando -> this man is so unserious, and also a boomer-wanna-be-gen-z when it comes to social media so its all about sharing his love and his corazon. though i will say he will be pretty selective with what he shares. and i think he'd pull a rosberg, in that he will post family photos but with emojis over his baby's faces.

nico -> something about this man just tells me that he enjoys the validation and the sharing a lot. we'd hear about the engagement, the pregnancy, all through instagram. but i think he'd do it in cringey cute way. my man is on pinterest with "cute pregnancy announcement inspo" in the search bar.

checo -> he is a proud papa & husband (minus that time in monaco). he loves having his family around him so there isn't a reason why he would ever keep it a secret. though i will say, much like he already does, he would try to keep his family/personal life very much seperate from his work. i think all we'd see of his family is when they show up to races or milestones/birthdays via social media.

charles -> i think he just loves sharing pieces of his life with us that keeping his family a secret would be impossible. charles would 100% walk onto the paddock with his daughter on his hip. they would be wearing matching sunglasses (raybans bc forza ferrari. and not her own pair, one of daddy's). but not outfits bc mama dressed her baby, not charles.

valterri -> he tries to keep what goes on in his personal life as on the down low as possible. i think that he would definitely try to keep his kids out of pap photos & try to hide their faces but other than that i think we would all be aware of his ever-growing family. i think he'd do smth cheesy like post a photo from the back of him and his son with matchin mullets. or maybe a photo of lewis carrying his daughter bc 'uncle lew had to get a matching outfit with his god daughter.'

oscar -> i could've lumped him higher on the list with lando/logan but smth about oscar tells me otherwise. like idk what it is about him but i think he'd try to keep it on the hush hush for as long as he can before eventually sharing with the world. we'd be surviving off soft launches for a WHILE methinks. (but i could be so wrong bc idk oscar this is just based off his face).

kevin -> we'd know (i mean we know now). but similar to fernando in a sense where he chooses what pieces of his time with his wife and kids he wants to share with the world. i think he is very protective of his family and the peace he's worked on building around them.

esteban -> you know... with the way his & elena's relationship is going i can definitely see this man randomly dropping that he's married one day. but the thing is, is that we would all already have an idea of who his wife is, if that makes sense. we'd get little bouts of content from him. a very 'private, not secret' type beat.

nyck -> just like esteban in a sense where we'd know who the wife would be. i think the marriage would come as a shock, but as their family grows i think he'd drop hints and stuff. nyck will definitely bring his kid(s) to at least one race a year and i just have an inkling that his child would be a menace.

alex -> he's happy to share the small moments with the world, but oh it would be very sparse. just little crumbs here and there. he protects what he loves so much, but he's much too proud and excited not to share. think of all the baby photos with all the animals. the matching hair-dos. the baby hating photos as much as dad hates media so when the paps come around baby has the same frown.

daniel -> we would know, but i think he would take his time introducing that part of his life to us. we'd always know he's married & has kids, but we would also have to live off of soft launches for a bit. daniel is a proud man, proud of the life he builds and who he chose to build it with. and daniel would 100% walk onto the paddock with his kids hanging off of him. his daughter on his back, son upside down in his arms.... do you see the vision???

lewis -> this man could go either way. on the one hand i can see lewis showing off the love of his life and his family bc thats what lewis does. he shows off the people he loves. but then i can also see him keeping it quiet, keeping just a piece of his life a secret because in the position he's in, he doesn't have too many secrets to himself left. so yeah... but tell me what yall think.

carlos -> carlos would've been lower on the list with all that 'i protect love' crap but me personally, i just don't see it. i think that we'd all somehow find out about his engagement + growing family somehow. like carlos is always being followed by the paps for literally WHAT. so yeah, i don't think it would be best kept secret. also he's such a family man, i think he'd jump at the opportunity to share his family with the world.

lance -> i know lance has posted his s.o. before, but there is something about this man that tells me when it's a love that he really really values and wants to protect, he will keep it a secret. he will keep them away from the limelight, from the unnecessary attention for as long as possible. idk about 10yrs and then pop out with a whole wife & kids, but i definitely think he'd be the type randomly drop on wednesday that he's engaged.

george -> i think this man could pull it off if he wanted to. i think he'd go ghost on social media in terms of what he does in his personal time. like itll be all race content until one day he just drops a photo of him & his wife welcoming their new baby. i can see it. but i think it all depends on him.

yuki -> idk i think in a relationship he'd be very reserved about it. i think that he'd hate the attention he would end up receiving about dating, so much so he'd prefer if no one knew right away. i think that we'd always know he's with someone bc of like soft launch-esque photos of hands/back of their head. but yeah we'd never truly know who until much much later.

guanyu -> guanyu truly gives me vibes of wanting to protect his family and try to keep them separate from his work. and not even in a malicious way, but in a sense where he doesn't want the people he loves most to be put under undeserving scrutiny. he'd find ways to bring them to races & events but truly, the public would never know.

max -> if were being completely honest here, we know so much about max's love life because of who he's involved with. but if he had it his way, i think we he would pull it off. like i think he would randomly drop the "my wife & kids" line out of no where and it would take the world by storm. and max would say it so nonchalantly too.

mick -> i think that he could pull it off. even in his last relationship, i dont recall ever seeing him post about/with her so... he is definitely a very very private guy. and he has a very tight group of friends at that, so i doubt any information would ever get out to the public unless mick makes a move first.

seb -> he's a very private guy, who didn't even have instagram until last year... and it was to announce his RETIREMENT. and though we know about hannah, we don't know much about his kids. i think i remember kym telling a story about how sebastian asked him & other photographers not to photograph his kids when they came on the paddock so.... seb will go through hoops and the extra mile to be sure a secret is kept.

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hey so I’m a uni student IE very poor and I really like GMless games so I wondering if there is any free or pay what you feel like GM less games? Bonus points for either cute animal type games, world building or superpowers game.

THEME: Free/Cheap GM-Less Games

Hello friend, I think I have a really awesome collection of games for you to try out. I tried to focus on lighthearted games that fit at least one of your themes. All of these games are either free or pay-what-you-want!

Rats in Space, by Jay Writes.

The year is 2392. A colony of rats have found themselves stowed away on the Endeavor, a cruise-class luxury spaceship. They live in the lower decks, nibbling on wires, stealing the engineer’s lunches, fighting off pest-bots. It’s a simple life. One day, a member of the colony discovered something: Velindian Cheese, the most treasured kind of cheese to all rats in the sector, hidden in the ship’s Kitchen. The colony got together, and they have decided: they must get that cheese!

Rats in Space is a one-page GM-less TTRPG where you and your friends take on the role of Rats on a spaceship. Your mission is to get the Cheese that's hidden away in the ship's kitchen. A silly game with psychic rats, robot cats, and depressed space captains.

This is a goofy little game with a simple enough premise: get the Cheese. You set your little rats up with stats, and then roll on the Inspiration table to determine what obstacles are standing in the way. Conquer three obstacles and you’ll get your hand on a little cheesy snack! However, if you lose your collective morale, you are forced to panic and scatter - and no Cheese for you. Rats in Space is great for light-hearted hi-jinx, and is very very cute.

Class Protector, by Chloe Sutherland.

Strange things happen in your high school. Horrors lurk in the dark, unnoticed by most in the school. Fortunately, there’s one person who always seems to be in the right place at the right time. She’ll deny it but all the gossip ties back to her and the unexplainable powers she seems to wield. 

You are not the Chosen One. You are everyone else.

A simple GM-less game using a deck of cards. Act as the students of a high school secretly under threat from the supernatural, develop the Class Protector and her mysterious power through their rumours, then discover which theories were correct.

Class Protector is a game of high school bystanders creating a superhero through myths and rumours. You’ll take turns drawing cards and using prompts to help you figure out who exactly your protector is and what she can do. During the final round, you’ll witness her fight with the Big Bad, and determine how many rumours are actually true - and whether you survive. If you like a game with suspense, told from a unique point of view, you might like this game.

The Guides of MechaFauna Valley, by BESW.

“THE GUIDES OF MECHAFAUNA” by B. West is a game made for children, by a young park ranger barely out of childhood themself. I reproduce it here as I found it: photocopied on a sheaf of mint and salmon office paper, the pasted-on images sometimes almost illegible. But the game is playable and the glimpse of my friend’s future childhood is captivating.

This game is described as a cooperative, feel-good card-using roleplaying game. It is a game about a caravan of travellers making their way through a national park populated by mechanical beasts. As guides, you are responsible for ensuring that the caravan makes it through safely without endangering the local wildlife. The game expects all players to play a Valley Guide, but there is also a character sheet that is available for the group to use together: The Valley Voice. This game is currently still in beta, so it looks like another character sheet is in the works!

While there are still pieces missing, this is already a 20-page game with a hefty oracle full of prompts. If you like a game about exploration and adventure, but without the pressure of character endangerment, you’ll probably like this game.

Star-Spawned, by Penguin King Games. (@prokopetz)

One unearthly night, a ray of colourless light descended from the stars, and under its warping radiance, creatures unlike any the world has ever seen were born. They do not know the world, and they do not know themselves. Unfortunately for the world, they're quick learners!

Star-Spawned is a GMless, oneshot-oriented tabletop RPG in which you don't know what your own traits do when play begins. The names of each group's stats are randomly generated using morpheme chaining, and characters are created while having absolutely no idea what they mean; figuring that out forms the greater part of play.

Star-Spawned is a world-building game in that you discover the world as you discover yourselves. Players generate Facets and assign ratings to them without knowing what those facets do beforehand, and then experiment with their use as they play. Players will take turns describing what they want to do, and when one character takes the spotlight, the rest of the table provides the setting details. You finish the game when you have a definition for each facet on your Discovery sheet.

This game has a lot of breadth, and can explore a lot of different settings and kinds of adventure, and the place where you start will probably determine a lot about the tone of your game. If you enjoy randomness and figuring out a mystery together, you might like Star-Spawned.

Wonderfall Reinvigorated, by J.C. Pereira.

In this violence free, diceless and GMless game, you play as curious kids who are living in a hotel and secretly transform into pets. Your goal is to reinvigorate Wonderfall by befriending the leaving villagers and guiding the sparse visitors, to make this town habitable again. Uncover truths while growing up in this outlandish town.

This is an exploration game more than anything else. Players each create a town secret, and use drawing references to build the Hotel and its surrounding locations. You draw cards to help determine the kinds of locations that you’ll visit. The game comes with a bunch of random tables for character creation, locations, secrets, NPC information and more. You’ll draw cards from the Destiny deck every time you need to overcome a challenge, and use Aces to represent their hobbies that will help them solve problems.

I like the ways this game gives your characters adventure without resorting to violence to solve their problems. I think this game has a lot of potential to tell Studio Ghibli-like stories, so if you like that genre, you might like this game.

RPG From the Other Side, by stuffed tern.

a wizard has transformed one of your bandmates into a large raccoonyou’re going on a quest to change them backbefore they forget who they arethe band’s all coming with you (yes, even the raccoon) the power of music is on your side. you will see this through.

RPG FROM THE OTHER SIDE is a one-page TTRPG for one or more friends embarking on a quest of music and mayhem. 

The text mentions a GM, but GM-less play is possible with players doing collaborative storytelling, or using a system such as Trophy.

This is a simple one-page rpg with a humorous premise - you’re trying to turn your raccoon band-mate back into their human self. Setup includes determining your goal, your characters, and your special weapon or ability. Your characters have a resource called Stardust, which gives you d6s to roll in challenging situations. You can spend Stardust to lend aid to a teammate, or lose it when you take harm, but you can also gain it back if you give up a memory that you cherish.

There aren’t any prompts to help guide your play after the initial setup, so this game is best suited for a group that is comfortable with a lot of improv.

2 Month Magical Girl, by Dondougo.

In 2 Month Magical Girl, you play as ordinary magical girls. Your days are relatively ordinary, as you study and hang out at school. At night you hit the town, as well as the various malicious magical beings that prowl it. You make memories, you make friends, and the next day you wake up and do it all again!

But something's changed, and things are getting weirder by the day. Illegible symbols are appearing everywhere, the weather is stuck in a cloudy haze. What's even weirder is that your magical powers seem to be hiding something from you. As if they're trying to keep you from understanding the truth behind what's really going on.

With time running out, you're left wondering what else is being hidden from you and what it all means. What will you do when the truth is finally revealed?

This is the chunkiest game on this list, with 98 pages of rules, lore and character options. There are 5 playbooks to choose from, making character creation relatively simple to follow, and a font of roll tables to help facilitate GM-less play. Definitely worth checking out!

[lint-beetle4]

Hey, can you make a cute fic of MK and Macaque where in a nicer timeline, Macaque is the enemy to help train and make MK a hero?

Idk what happened to Monkey King but maybe Macaque had to take his place for some reason?- or Monkey King is comentoring with Macaque

Glitter Bomb (Mentor!Macaque & MK Fluff)

Sorry this is so short! I've been hella swamped with school stuff, and I've been job searching too

“You’re too slow, kid.” MK fell to the ground with a swipe of Macaque’s dark tail.

“You need to use the momentum you have once you land, or you’ll end up off balance and vulnerable.”

MK groaned, lifting himself off the ground with a pointed, frustrated glare at his mentor. “This would be easier if you showed me how to actually use the momentum!”

Macaque shrugged, “My job is to teach you how to survive with those fancy moves Wukong taught you. You ask him to show you, not me.”

“You don’t know how to explain it, do you?” MK pointed at Macaque, “You won’t show me, because you don’t know how.”

Macaque’s eyes gleamed slightly, almost angrily, but the shadow merely sighed, grinning with bared teeth. 

“You already know my teaching style, kiddo.” Macaque chuckled darkly. “Don’t you think Wukong is a better match for this stuff?”

“You can’t do it.” MK sang, teasing the monkey further. “And you’re emb–wah!”

MK was taken down again, a sneaky shadow slipping through MK’s feet with a snicker. Macaque merely smirked as MK glared lightly at his mentor.

“So, that concludes our training for tonight.” Macaque helped MK up, patting him on the back. “Aside from that one thing, you’re improving a lot. Maybe enough to beat her, at least.”

MK’s expression soured slightly, “You mean the Lady Bone Demon?”

Macaque nodded bitterly, crossing his arms with a sigh.

It was a confusing thing to try to explain to the two, how Macaque rose from the dead fuelled by bitterness and resentment. However, his hatred toward Wukong was easily shadowed over the immense fear he had for his life, eager to stay on the bone demon’s good side until his side of bargain was fulfilled.

Gaining that skeleton key seemed to do it, his chains down gone, and the Lady Bone Demon leaving him to devices, seeing the darker simian as obsolete more than anything.

Red Boy–now, Red Son, Macaque had been reminded numerous times–seemed quite eager for that key, but Macaque had no time on his hands. If anything, his nephew was stronger which gave Macaque great pride. Despite his efforts, Red Son was unable to keep up with Macaque’s experience, his anger weaponized against his foes and himself–perhaps when all of this was over, Macaque could visit. He missed his sister.

“I didn’t expect her to let me go so easily,” Macaque admitted quietly, his tail sweeping against the ground idly–nervously. “Remember, this is to our advantage. Wukong and I alone have a slight chance against her, but with you involved, it might change the battlefield more than we expect.”

MK nodded, a fire lit in his eyes, with a grin. “Together, we’ll be able to defeat her.”

“If I know Wukong, he’s currently hunting for a greater weapon.” Macaque chuckled to himself, an almost bitter sound, “I’d guess the Rings of Samadhi, that’s something that the Lady Bone Demon has no chance in conquering.”

“The Rings of Samadhi?” MK asked, prompting an eyebrow raise from the monkey.

“They’re used to contain the Samadhi Fire, a fire that cannot be tamed nor staved. It’s unstoppable and ever consuming, not even the Jade Emperor himself can stop it. It’s the closest thing we have to even our chances with her.”

MK nodded grimly, his eyes flickering with slight understanding. “So, what happens when we get the rings?”

“We perform the ritual to unleash the fire. I’m pretty sure I know where that place is, but we’d have to actually meet up with Wukong to see whatever crazy plan he has.” Macaque shrugged, looking briefly in the distance, a glamored ear twitching slightly. “If I’d guess, we’ll be bringing along that scholar friend of yours, meaning the rest of your group will come with, right?”

“Yeah, of course they would!” MK grinned widely, his chest puffing with pride and trust. “We’ve always worked best together, so I don’t doubt that everyone has what it takes to help us defeat the Lady Bone Demon.”

Macaque shook his head, chuckling. “Well, hopefully they do. We’ll need all the help we can get.”

“I think that’s all for me, kid. You know how it is.” Macaque stepped away slightly, looking around the empty landscape that the two trained in.

MK nodded sadly, looking back at Macaque with a mixture of pity and sorrow. “Afraid she’s still going to use you?”

Macaque only left silence, a shadow portal opening beneath him as he turned to MK with a knowing grin. “See you around, kid.”

“Bye, Macaque.” MK waved to the monkey who slipped through before summoning a cloud to leave himself.

In all honestly, MK didn’t plan to tell his friends, equally afraid of them getting into something MK couldn’t plan through. As much as he wanted to confide in them, this issue was far bigger than he expected, bigger than any of them could expect. MK sighed as he flew through the sky, eyes lowering in his thoughts.

He felt better with a new…semi-ally on his side. And, for what he was worth, Macaque really could be a good teacher at times.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Lost, in the final part of the uprising, Levi tells Erwin, "Another gamble, the Survey Corps' only strategy. Just like everything else you come up with." I've seen people use this against Eruri, saying Levi didn't believe in Erwin's abilities and that it's another reason why he picked Armin over. I know that everything else contradicts this, but why did Levi even say this? Was he throwing shade? I can't see what else Erwin or anyone else could've done against the titans, and making gambles was really the only way to do it. They weren't fighting humans they could understand and try to outsmart. They were fighting giant man-eating monsters. So yeah, what's the point of having Levi say this?

Anonymous asked:

I saw someone say that when Levi insults Erwin, he does it genuinely. Do you think that's true?

I hope you don’t mind me answering both these asks together. First of all, let’s get this out of the way…

"I've seen people use this against Eruri, saying Levi didn't believe in Erwin's abilities and that it's another reason why he picked Armin over."

I can’t believe I have to say this in the year of our lord 20234.  There is nothing in the manga, the anime, the supplementary materials or anywhere else to suggest that Levi “didn’t believe in Erwin’s abilities”.  Levi picked Armin in order to save Erwin because he didn't want to condemn Erwin by dragging him back to hell to be the devil people like Floch expected him to be. At the same time, Levi relieved Erwin of carrying the burden of his dream and the guilt of the soldiers who died under his command, allowing him to die with his humanity intact.

But anyway, on to the real question - does Levi really insult / cast shade on Erwin.  And the answer is yes, yes he does! 

Considering Erwin is Levi’s superior officer, Levi is pretty fucking rude to him.  To be fair, Levi is pretty fucking rude to *everyone*, though he does seem to reserve a particular type of familiar sarcasm for Erwin. The exchange in the infirmary is a classic example.

As is this gem from chapter 75. (I know @tsuki-no-ura has written a post about this exchange but I can't find it right now.)

There’s another great example from the Smartpass Up Close interview where Levi tells Erwin that his kids won’t be cute. 

J: Then let’s not talk about that for now. How about just your own future dreams? L: Talking about future dreams at this age…how interesting. What do you think, Erwin? E: As for me…right. Retire to a reclusive area, or maybe have a family. J: I am surprised that commander seems surprisingly relaxed about this. E: My mind is currently filled with matters concerning the world, so I’m not in a position to pursue any dreams. But either way, you could say that I have an ordinary dream. L: How interesting. Your kids won’t be cute for sure. E: How about you, Levi? Would you go from hero to politician? L: That’s impossible. How could you even ask something that is so obvious?!

What I love about this example is that Erwin turns the whole ridiculous conversation back on Levi by asking is he plans to become a politician. 

To go back to the original example from chapter 68 though, Levi is not wrong when he says the Survey Corps strategy is based on Erwin’s gambles.  I answered another ask about Erwin’s gambles a few years back. Levi knows that Erwin is willing to take risks, this is one of the reasons he has chosen to follow him.  

L: Well yeah…the guy’s ideas can be sometimes be so heartless that even I get goosebumps. Like when he deliberately sacrifices his subordinates. However, he has his goals, and he has been able to achieve them. J: Indeed, despite the sacrifices, the SC survival rate has increased ever since Commander Erwin was promoted to commander. Also, special missions like capturing the Female Titan actually became possible. L: That’s right. If Erwin was someone soft-hearted enough to compromise battle strategy, I wouldn’t follow him.

Levi might not hesitate to insult Erwin, but he's also the first to remind everyone that Erwin was rarely wrong.

I feel duty bound to point out that Levi is also really insulting to Hanji and to members of his squad. Coming from Levi, it’s a sign of affection really ♡

[decomposingbratzdoll]

Felt cute (extreme paranoia) , might delete later💗

Sorry for hysteriaposting about politics i'm just really worried , i did feel a bit narcissistic(??) writing this because i feel like its only talking about myself while everyone else has much more important struggles going on right now but i just feel like i had to say something and i'm extremely tired and it's kind of scary posting this for me idk </3

I don't know how to start this because I never make any text posts but I'm kind of panicking and need to voice my concerns and worries because of Trump winning the election. I first of all need to say my heart goes out to everyone who voted for Kamala, especially women , POC and queer people and I hope you can all get by and survive the next 4 years. I’m not American. I'm Slovak and currently living in the UK but I am (or now was) planning on going back to Slovakia after finishing my education since I already have multiple support systems and family over there.But now with Trump as president i’m scared that i won’t be able to do that anymore because Trump wants to withdraw from NATO which was basically the only thing keeping Putin from invading more countries especially smaller ones like Slovakia and some of my relatives live in Michalovce which is very close to the Ukraine border and im worried that when Trump withdraws from NATO and stops America from giving msupport and aid to Ukraine it will let Putin invade Slovensko freely too. 

I’m just really worried for my relatives in Michalovce and everywhere else in Slovakia . 

I’m scared that in the next 4 years I won't be able to go back to Slovakia , I don't want it to turn into a warzone. And it just really angers me and upsets me even more because there is nothing I could have done to prevent this; i’m not in America so i can’t vote there but i did try to spread the word to get people to vote but still there was nothing i could have done i just had to watch and now i’m scared my relatives and friends in Slovakia will have to suffer because of something i or they have no control over.And i know nothing has happened yet and who knows if he actually will end up withdrawing from NATO but the fact that it could happen and result in Slovakia and other countries end up being invaded like Ukraine the next 4 years terrifies me so much.

I don't know though this is just me ranting without really thinking and im only fuelled by an intense build up of worry and extreme anxiety , i could just be horrifically paranoid and anxious , i just feel like i needed to say something but ill get back to drawing my silly little pictures on the internet , thank you for reading this if you did.💗

[invisiblegarters]

The End of the World With You Ep 8 - Finale

Here we are. Last ep. Will our ragtag crew survive? Is Yuma a magic boy that has somehow managed to avert the world’s impending doom? Does it really matter in the end? Guess we’ll find out. 

Aw, okay at first I was wondering wth Meguru was doing bringing Yuma into Madoka’s room, but I like that he’s trying to give Yuma a gift here, that his idol read his letters, that she kept them. I think that that’s actually really sweet, and good to know, in a way. Sometimes it really is enough to know that you’ve touched someone’s life. 

Okay, Yuma is totally a magic boy. We all saw that. Ritsu you saw that. Masumi you saw that. We can all stop and acknowledge as a collective that Yuma has something going on. 

Which means that it’s very possible that damn meteor might just go away. 

LOL. Oh, teenagers. Sure Yuma, Meguru was totally trying to confess to you. Why not. Love Masumi and Ritsu sharing that amused glance, too. They love him. 

Idk, Ritsu, I think maybe Yuma can deal with a meteor. He managed to reverse death didn’t he? Or at least keep that pill from working. 

Never thought I’d see the day when Ritsu was the one being hesitant about sex. 

Aw, so Ritsu did go to the library on purpose to find Masumi. That’s almost cute...if you can forget that he was also hoping that he could get Masumi to help him with the dead body in his place, ha. Although maybe if Masumi hadn’t been like “so not nice yo see you, bye,” he might have been content to just leave Yuma there. I'll just leave you to imagine that. You’re welcome.  

You know, there are worse ways to bring in the end of the world than with a sex marathon. Much worse. Get it, guys. 

I KNEW it would do the ambiguous ending if it didn’t go straight for kablooey. I knew it. But I like that. I like it a lot. I know it’s not going to be for everyone, but to my mind, the end of the world was never the point, not really. Like a lot of end of the world canons, it was more about learning to live, and to do what you can with the time you’re given. And maybe it was a bit about learning to connect with the people around you, rather than closing yourself off. And also maybe about learning to look for the impossible. Just a little. 

This show was such an unexpected gem for me. It had me thinking a lot about forgiveness and the things that scar us and the way we scar ourselves, too. and I liked that it was so rich with character work. Ritsu especially was very compelling. Even though I’m still not entirely sure I ever really came to like him, I did come to understand him. He was such a multilayered character and the actor did a great job with him. I’ve got to say I’ve never seen him in anything else but this has made me want to look up his other work, for sure. 

And it’s almost made me forgive the other one for Senpai, This Can’t Be Love. 

Almost.

Final verdict: 8.5/10. A solid show that was well acted and well-scripted, one that made me think. One of the best things currently airing, imo and well worth the watch. 

[sassykinzonline]

What is a song that is currently stuck in your head because Naruto sings it too much

Naruto seems like the dude to sing something and look at the victim who heard the singing and asked what’d they think (me too)

Sasuke do you like defttones sorry if that’s offensive to emos :(

Scene kid Naruto gyra Naruto save me Naruto wearing obnoxious colors and serving c u n t please sasuke stop stealing the gay from him

What’s the latest gossip that’s happening in the village I’m very nosy

hello thank you for the questions to consider:

1.

watch this movie by the way its really good. anyways he sings it while doing what he thinks is disco soul train dancing its cute stupid. its a bit funny since he isnt one to be sexually vulgar, but i guess this is his bad bitch song?

2. he doesnt really ask because he knows hes a good singer, i know hes a good singer. its just a fact. but he does sing and pout at you like this -> 🥺 and invade your personal space to try to get you to sing along. im not a bad singer but my voice is so low its kind of hard to sing songs with him, which upsets him greatly.

3. i got told to listen to them a lot at one point but just never did, im sorry to disappoint. got any recs? i am a casual enjoyer of mcr and muse though, hope that makes up for it? theres this perception of me (not saying you in particular believe this) that i'd be some "rock music is the only real music" snob and thats not really accurate? im not close-minded, i just know what i like pretty accurately. i tend to like hiphop more because it more coherently reflects my rage and reaction to the...oppressive nature of life and desperation to just survive. but i also like many other types of high/heart rate bpm music because it helps me focus while training. these days i listen to kpop more because it has always been decently popular here, and naruto is really into it.

4. i didnt do anything to his gay >:(. hes a queen but hes also shyer than you think. when he was a kid he wanted "attention" because he wanted to be humanized, but hes been under a lot of pressure and been highly visible since he could remember. hes working through that balance now, but you know him 😒

5. kiba may have gotten "someone" (we legit dont know who) pregnant, and temari mysteriously isnt doing envoys to the leaf recently. big scandal much diplomatic nightmare. luckily its golden week so i dont have to deal with that shit till next week 😏.

[noshitbarnes]

Better Now?: Chapter 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC

Summary: Sophia was 18 when Hydra kidnapped her, gave her abilities, and made her their new secret weapon. Now, flash-forward 9 years later and she’s living with the Avengers, trying to live with everything she did, and trust those she now calls teammates.

Warnings: language

Word Count: 1,960

Notes: I know this chapter is a little short, but let me know what you guys think, thanks!

Better Now? Masterlist

Sophia makes her way from the R&D lab to the combat training area back upstairs. Once there she decides to stick around and watch for a while, she was surprisingly impressed by everyone that was there. Not that she didn't expect to see talented people there, she just didn't expected to find so many talented people. One of the women that was there had bright red hair and was currently showing three men that they were in fact not one of those talented people, she recognized her as Natasha. Sophia was amazed at how she was able to take down three large men with such ease and make it look almost beautiful. She's lost in her own thoughts when she doesn't hear anyone come up next to her.

“Hey Sophia, impressed?”

Sophia is snapped from her thoughts to see Sam and Rhodey walking up, “Actually yeah, Natasha is incredible.”

Sam laughs, “I’ve never heard someone call her that.”

She bites her lip and looks at the men, “Oh my God, is that bad or something?”

Sam shakes his head, “No, no, you’re right, it’s just, most people don’t say it out loud,”

“Yeah,” Rhodey chuckles lightly, “Nat can be intimidating.”

Sophia could see that, Natasha did just take down those men all on her own. She also remembered her not being all that talkative when they first met, but then again the only one who talked a bunch was Sam and that was because he wanted to know about her powers. Maybe some day Natasha would talk to her or something, not that it was a big deal, but seeing another woman be powerful was really inspiring.

“Oh, well it’s true.” Sophia smiles and starts watching everyone again.

A few minutes go by before anyone says anything, then Sam speaks, “Nice shirt by the way.”

Sophia groans, “Don’t you start making fun of my shirt too,” she frowns and looks down at it, “Mr. Stark didn’t like it either," she looks back at Sam, "is it really that bad?”

Sam chuckles, “It’s cute, Wanda’s right?”

She nods and Rhodey crosses his arms, “I’m surprised Tony gave you shit. He’s had his share of cheesy shirts. You got better taste though,” he pauses and Sophia smiles, “Wanda and Barton still treatin’ you ok?”

She smiles big, “Yeah, they’ve been really nice, I like them a lot.”

Rhodey nods and smiles, “Hopefully you get to see that the rest of us are too.”

“Some more than others,” Sam chuckles, “well, we have to get back to training, it was nice to talk to you though, hun." Sophia waves goodbye to them as they walk over to the mats where Natasha was waiting.

It's quiet for a while, all that's heard is the thuds of people getting tackled on the mats or Sam occasionally yelling at Natasha to stop trying to hit him in the face. It was odd, but this was the most normal Sophia had felt in weeks, even comparing it to staying in her room those first two days, this for some reason was better. She didn't realize she missed being around people so much, well that she missed being herself around people. With Hydra she was around people all the time whether it be at the main base, training, or on a mission, but at all of those places she had to fake who she was in order to survive. Here, she still felt on edge, but it was a little better now, she could slowly feel her old self coming back, and she loved it.

“So how’s the adventure going?”

Sophia jumped a bit not realizing someone new had come up next to her. She looks over to see Bucky with his arms crossed watching Natasha and Sam spar, “Oh, um, hi Sergeant,” she smiles, “pretty good, it’s a big place though.”

“I warned you,” he chuckles, “took me a while to get use to the place.”

She looks back to Natasha and Sam, “How long have you been here?”

“About 2 years, it was an adjustment, but I like it now,” he smiles.

Sophia nods and takes a deep breath, “I’m hoping I eventually like it too, so far so good.”

There's a pause and then Bucky speaks, “Can I ask you something though?”

She bites her lip and crosses her arms, “Um, sure.”

He continues his questioning without looking at her, “I got this feeling that chess and you don’t mix well.”

She smirks, “Well that’s not really a question.”

He scoffs a bit and rolls his eyes, “Alright, fair point,” he turns to face her and continues, “you got somethin’ against chess?”

Sophia turns and faces him, arms still crossed, “You got that from me not wanting to play?”

He smirks and look down at the floor briefly then back to her, “I’m a spy, Sophia, I can read people pretty well,” then he shrugs, “it’s just the read I got off you. You can tell me if I’m wrong.”

She closes her eyes for a moment and starts to tap her fingers against her arm, “No, you’re right, just surprised that you noticed is all,” she takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out, “but if you don’t mind, it’s not something I want to talk about.”

“That’s fine, you don’t owe me an explanation about why, I just felt bad because you looked upset,” he looks down at the ground, clearly hurt.

Sophia looks at him, feeling guilty, “It’s nothing you did, if that helps.”

He looks back up and smiles slightly, but it didn’t meet his eyes, “Okay,” he hesitates for a moment and ran his vibranium hand through his hair, “I know Barton’s told you some things about me,” he bit his lip and continues, “so, um, if you wanna talk, you can always talk to me.”

She smirks and nods her head, “Ya know, he actually did tell me I should talk to you too,” she smile lightly and shrugs, “I guess he thought you could help,” she pauses and meets his gaze, “um, has talking about your past helped you?”

He shrugs lightly, “Yeah, sometimes, but I um, I don’t remember a lot of things about my past,” he sighs, “I talk to Steve every once in a while, Sam too, and it’s helped, but they haven’t exactly been through what I have,” he pauses, "I do however have a court appointed therapist cause'a the pardon, sometimes she's helpful."

Sophia nods and smiles, “I appreciate the offer, Sergeant, but I um, I’m just not ready to talk about anything yet.”

**********

After walking through the compound most of the day it was dinnertime, so Sophia decided it was a good idea to stick around. Everyone had been so nice to her throughout the day, it would've been rude to go back in to hiding.

“Do you like pizza, Sophia?” Steve asks, “Cause no one here feels like cooking, so I thought we’d order one.”

Sophia nods, “Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve had pizza.”

“Aright,” he smiles, “what kind do you want?”

“I’ll just eat whatever you guys get, I’m not picky,” she smiles at him and goes to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, “anything with cheese makes me happy.”

“Get some of their three cheese pizza then,” Tony threw Steve his phone and turns to Sophia, “this place down the block has the best pizza, we always order from them,” Steve starts dialing and walks out of the room so he could hear.

She smiles, “Sounds great.”

**********

After the pizzas had arrived, everyone was sharing stories, so that Sophia could get to know the team better. Sophia appreciated it too, she loved being a spectator when it came to conversations anyway, she's a great listener, and no one was bombarding her with questions either, so it was really nice. Currently, they were discussing how often pranks happen around the compound and from what Sophia had gathered, Sam and Bucky prank each other a lot.

“I’m still pissed that you wrapped my wings in plastic wrap,” Sam glares at Bucky from across the table, who just laughs.

“What? It was for April Fool’s,” Bucky laughs holding his stomach, “I had to get you back for last year. You covered my arm in tinfoil when I fell asleep on the couch,” Sam smirks at him and chuckles.

For some reason that made Sophia laugh, that she did try to stifle, but unsuccessfully, making soda almost come out of her nose. Bucky looks to her and her eyes grow wide, while he playfully smirks, "You think that's funny?"

“Umm…” she bit her lip, “I’m not gonna lie, it sounds funny,” she looks down at her empty plate, nervous under his gaze.

“It was,” Sam laughs along with everyone else, “it was fucking hilarious because you didn’t even realize it until Barton pointed it out!”

Bucky blushes and shakes his head, “Yeah, it was funny, I guess. Not as funny as you trying to take off and landing on your ass when your wings didn’t expanded,” everyone laughs, but Sam just glares at him.

Sophia smiles at everyone laughing, “Do you all prank each other a lot?”

“These two do,” Steve answers while shaking his head, “every once in a while when it’s been a slow week, Sam gets bored and pranks a few of us.”

“Why do you always think it’s me?” Sam asks.

Natasha narrows her eyes, “When is it not you? Do you not remember when you put post-it notes all over Tony’s suits?”

Sophia puts her hand over her mouth in shock, “You put post-it notes on his suits?” she then laughs which earns a glare from Tony.

“Yeah, he did,” Tony turns his glare to Sam, “it had to've taken him forever because they were all decorated like a rainbow.”

“Who said I did it by myself?” Sam looks over at Bucky.

Bucky was in the middle of drinking his beer and swallows hard, “I hate you."

Tony just chuckles to himself, “I’m not a dick guys, I can take a joke. Just be prepared for payback.”

“Anyway! Last week,” Sam gestured with his hands, “someone,” he eyes Bucky, who was trying to avoid eye contact, “put mentos in the ice cubes. Why the hell would I do that? That’s just lame.”

Bucky casually picks up the last slice of pizza from the box, “It was hilarious when you used them for your drink,” he grins and takes a bite, “but it wasn’t me.”

Sam glares at him, “I’ll get you back.”

“I just said it wasn’t me,” Bucky rolls his eyes, “maybe ask your local archer about it.”

Sam looks across the table to Clint who’s eyes widened, “Why would I do that? I’m more creative than that.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, “Are you though?”

Sophia laughs as they continue to bicker, then glances down at her watch, and realizes it’s almost midnight, “Hey, I think I’m going to call it a night, everyone.”

Sophia says her goodbyes to everyone and that she'll see them in the morning and heads to her room. As Sophia heads down the hallway, she thinks about the day she's had and smiles, today was a success. Everyone was so incredibly nice to her and it made her think that she could start trusting again. After all, she just spent the entire evening with them and not one of them forced her to share anything about her life if she didn't want to, and she appreciate that more than they could even understand. Sophia arrives at her bedroom and reaches for the doorknob, when suddenly everything goes black and she collapses to the floor.

[deliriumsdelight7]

I hope it is okay to message you about this I don't want to swamp Phoenix with messages since I'm sure she has many anons right now! I survived my abusive ex who tried heavily to lie and twist things on me within our community, despite that he started dating and hurting me when I was 15 (til 17 when he found someone else) and he was almost 30, the tactics he and his friends used on me and other girls really similar in that callout. 1) One of those callout people dug deep into her blog, found a selfie from a decade and while they did color out her face there seems to be others digging elsewhere like her twitter, a lot of it reads as if leading to potential doxxing will come next. 2) Another user has a separate callout for someone that is writing for their pleasure smut with ST characters x children between newborn to 12 among other original stories, how the children enjoy it. Commenters include a man who talked about how enjoyable it was to read, to keep it up, and how he was writing one about a 12 month old. So LIKE idk how phoenix shipping dustin x erica when erica is older based on their dynamic and thinking it'd be cute one day makes her a monster just like those people writing shit like that? The skewed mindset is shocking. Maybe it makes me an anti to say that, but like jfc one is shipping because fun dynamics, the other is making literary csa for pleasure purposes. Not the damn same and to classify it as the same IS FUCKED for other victims and survivors of that. the call out about that is here: percygranate / 717945449642967040 and I really think that this deserves a lot more attention. Phoenix should not be in a class like what this example is doing. This literally how people ruined Michael Jackson's life. 3) This isn't really info but I do hope this can reach peace for you all. It's triggering to read the callouts. Erica being a young black girl played by a young black actress, I understand wanting to protect her and what she represents to fellow black fans, it is different for black people and I think that does deserve space for a conversation. Trying to have a dialogue and clear up miscommunications/things taken out of context is how this should have been handled, not a trying to ruin someone's life with such an evil real criminal label over fiction. Just a lot of love to Phoenix, you, and everyone else directly involved.

Thank you so much for all of this information, Anon. I’m really grateful that you took the time to write all of this, and I’m sure Phoenix will be, too.

I’m very sorry to hear that you were groomed and harassed by your abuser, and I hope you’ve been able to find healing from that.

For your first point: would you be able to send me links to any posts on that blog that threaten violence, doxxing, or any other harassment? Phoenix and I are blocked, and in order for us to report the harassment, we need links of the behavior. If you’re comfortable, you can reach out to me in DMs and I will absolutely respect your privacy and not share your identity with anyone. If you feel unsafe doing so, you can by all means stick with anon asks. Whatever you’re most comfortable with.

For your second point: I wasn’t even aware such a thing was happening. If so, that’s pretty damn gross. I would prefer to stay out of any public call-outs for it, though, because call-out culture is what’s landed fandom as a whole into the mess it currently is. I’m going to stick to my policy of “don’t like, don’t read” on this one. But, for the record? Hardcore squick.

As a side note, I’d like to point out that the “underage Chrissy” concept does not exist in a vacuum. I was there, Gandalf. I was there the day (cough MONTHS cough) The Other Ship accused Hellcheers of being pedophiles, going so far as to say that Chrissy was the same age as Mike and Dustin and Eddie was 22. A bunch of Hellcheers decided that if that ship was going to make a stink over an eighteen year old and a twenty year old, we’d give them something to complain about. Phoenix was far from the only person to indulge in it. In fact, for a few weeks, the Hellcheer Prompts blog was flooded with nothing but requests for underage Chrissy fics. All of this is to say, there are massive amounts of context missing from those call-out posts. Context which I was there for. THAT is why I defend Phoenix, and will continue to do so.

And for your final point, I 100% agree that a respectful dialogue could and should be had before jumping down people’s throats. Unfortunately, for many people, joining a mob and organizing a witch hunt is often more rewarding than having a constructive dialogue. Anger and outrage are an addiction. But living like that, creating an environment that demands moral purity on pain of life-ruining accusations and violence, it’s only a matter of time before you fuck up and the mob you were a part of turns on you.

Thank you again for taking the time to reach out, Anon. It’s deeply, DEEPLY appreciated.

[bobgoesw00t]

Top 10 Video Games of All Time: bobgoesw00t Edition

OK, I’m officially gonna start listing my Top 10 Video Games of All Time now and I’m starting off with the only game from my original Top 5 that has survived the cut: Star Ocean Till the End of Time

Now I should mention something real quickly and it’s the following: I’ve played this game MULTIPLE TIMES, cleared the story at least 3-4 times, and only one of those clears was done without the use of an Action Replay… I know that’s rather sad but the first time I got to the Moon Base, without using it, that god damn Reclaimer FUCKED ME UP SO HARD that I ended up resorting to using the, “Max EXP” cheat on the entire party.

When they released the HD Remaster of the game on the PS4, I knew that I would have to play smarter (no Action Replay will do that to you), once I got that far and I was actually able to beat her on the first try somehow…I think. ANYWAYS, what I’m trying to say is that this game is one of my three favorite JRPGs from the PS2 (one of those is in my Top 5 right now) and no matter how many times I boot the game up and start from the beginning I have a blast. The story is awesome, the graphics hold up surprisingly well in the HD Remaster (at least IMO), combat is fun and challenging at times, and the cast of characters is phenomenal (hell, my top Star Ocean OTP is from this game and they are SO CUTE AND FLUFFY AO;SDGHASOLGJAPO;STGIJLAGPO…it’s Fayt x Albel/FayBel in case your wondering). I even think the big plot twist is awesome, given how it re-frames the ENTIRE series, even with the games that got released after it. I know one of the people who work on the series said that The Last Hope takes place in an alternate timeline, but I call bullshit on that.

That’s cause if we factor in the information that the Universe as Edge and the party know it is actually a giant MMOesque creation, we can come to the logical conclusion that the Missing Procedure is a bug or virus of some kind in the Eternal Sphere that had the potential to crash the entire system. As for the impact it has on Integrity and Faithlessness, along with The Divine Force, that is a conversation for another day.

I also like how in order to get enough Battle Trophies to unlock all of the bonus content, you actually have to play through the story multiple times with different party configurations when it comes to the optional characters. You’ve got Nel, Rodger, Albel and Peppita and which ever characters you don’t pick end up becoming bosses in the Urssa Cave Temple, and you get Battle Trophies for defeating the different configurations.

I only really have two complaints to talk about but both are pretty minor for me. The first one is the lack of a “Synopsis” section in the Info part of the Camp Menu, someplace where you can look up what’s happened so far and easily figure out where to go next. If you’re like me and you’ve taken a long break from the story, chances are you won’t remember what the current objective is the only way to figure that out is to run around like a chicken with your head cut off hoping for a cutscene to trigger…which sometimes can lead into a Boss Fight that you might be under prepared for. Thankfully they added that into the next game and this is no longer an issue but it’s still a pain in the ass to have this happen.

The other complaint is the MASSIVE difficulty spike at some points in the game. The only places I can think of when this happens is when you stop the Vendeeni from getting the Sacred Orb, the start of the second disc (or the equivilant part in the HD Remaster), and when you reach a certain level in the post-game part of Sphere 211. If you have any party members that are under-leveled, the enemies here will FUCK THEM UP. But even with properly leveled characters, one wrong move will wipe them from the battle.

And that’s all I have for gripes with this game, nothing really game breaking, and once you get a grip on the tougher enemies in the main story, it becomes a breeze to get past them and move on with the plot. Great gameplay, good cast of characters, music by the BADASS Motoi Sakuraba and a theme song from the Japanese Artist renown not just for being the first J-R&B star, but also sung the Japanese National Anthem at the Tokyo Games Opening Ceremony, MISIA. Her song, “A Little Bird Who Forgot How to Fly” is GORGEOUS and I almost ball my eyes out during the ending credits every time when it starts playing.

SO for my score of Star Ocean Till the End of Time, I’m going to follow in the steps of X-Play, use their scoring system and give this JRPG a 5/5.

Lastly for my Honorable Mentions today, I’m highlighting:

Forza Horizon 3 - the racing game that got my into not only the Forza franchise in general, but also introduced me to the music of CHVRCHΞS. Even the the next Horizon game wasn’t able to top this one for me, no matter how good it was.

Tales of Xillia/Xillia 2 - I’m doing a two for one deal this time only cause I feel like you can’t talk about one game without mentioning the other. Both games are awesome, both have their merits and flaws (not many of them to be honest though) and both have my favorite theme songs in the franchise from the Queen of J-Pop, Ayumi Hamasaki.

I’ll be giving more a in-depth reviews of these games sometime next year so that’s all for today! Keep your eyes peeled for when I post the next entry in this series and I hope you all continue to have a wonderful holiday season.

[macgyvertape]

D2 Season of the Seraph thoughts

Gameplay:

Was not expecting a second hive focused season this expansion

Really glad for the autofire option being a setting now. Topical that I injured my mousehand this week, but also I notice my fingers & wrists start to hurt if I play for hours with high fire rate weapons

I enjoy the Battlegrounds challenge at +5 at first but I quickly started to hate blueberries who don’t bring champ mods or refuse to run for the laser core. The best runs were with people I like or making a LFG post for Legend where I could vet people were bringing mods.

I enjoy seeing Mars back again as a battleground and that the Braytech facilities on Europa are finally getting used as a map

I finally got everything together and made some 100 resilience loadouts, and it's a night and day difference with survivability. 

Revision 0 quest: it was enjoyable to go in with no guide right up until the floor tile puzzle. I was thinking its a shame we only get 1 season with this mission so looking forward to the exotic mission rotator. 

There are a lot of server problems this season, the Christmas server problems were an unintentional API bug, but sucks for my friends who did a master activity then got a server error and no credit. I have a new years resolution to play more games that aren’t D2, and so that was the perfect time. 

The robo-dog is so cute, I appreciate a friend describing helping me get the orbs as “taking me to the pound to get a puppy”

Once again busy during the Dawning I didn’t finish the last challenge of sit in gambit or crucible matches. I’d never bother to gild it, get 2k kills with a dawning weapon, lmao what a waste of time

GM power level reduction is great, the grind to get to power level so you can do GMs when they come out is a huge burnout factor for me and others. 

Very glad Bungie enabled all the mods and literally made me more interested in playing the next month. It was gatekeeping for no reason to make players buy mods a few at a time that were sold on random days, some mods I had been trying to get for more than a year. It’s basically playing a different game if you have a current meta build that relies heavily on one or two specific mods. 

I got a good lorely splendor roll and it really is easy mode with Titan

Fucking finally got Touch of Malice after 55 Oryx clears

Grateful to everyone loss farming in IB so much bungie buffed the xp gained for the second week.

Glad they buffed drop rate from wellspring, wish it had been like this the whole time since I had 0 wellspring weapons crafted. The poor red border droprate, and the seasonal challenges meant I was always busy doing something else

I’m glad Bungie made a lot of announcements about when the final seasonal event would be, and it wasn’t during the last week. I also appreciate that they said they will go back to being more public about seasonal info. 

I really enjoyed the difficulty of the last mission, it felt like the right amount of challenge.

However the legend system that scales based on fireteam size means it's awful to run the finale or Seraph Shield with 3 people; numerically a person is better off running it solo especially with the solo operator mod. I ran the missions a few times to help someone out, and the increased health and limited revives made a 2 person team feel punishing in a way that doesn't encourage helping casual or less skilled players.

Finishing the season needing to craft a lot of the guns, once again the red boarder and seasonal playlist loop is a grind way past the point of enjoyment. It's better with a partial knockout system but drops for finished patterns still happen way too often and the seasonal activity gives such low energy vs how much is needed to focus and time spent. I finished the season without crafting the ikelos shotgun or the linear fusion, and I’m so burnt out on the loop that I just don’t care. 

The crucible rep changes are fucking awful if you place low in comp like me (Bronze tier). On bonus weeks its changed from 2x to 1.5x, and so the strategy seems to reward players for playing every week and more rewards for being good, so if you’re on the wrong end of the cycle where you only play crucible on bonus weeks because you don’t enjoy it or are bad then the slow rank ups just mean I want to play it even less. It was a shorter time doing a full reset of a gambit rank than half a crucible reset, especially because if you don’t get enough kills in a match the game gives you 0 credit. 

The crucible rep changes are a shame because with the matchmaking changes I really enjoy the 3v3 comp. I feel like I’m playing others at my level and its the most enjoyable Destiny 2 pvp I’ve ever played

I tried doing some solo dungeons with current meta loadouts, and there's a noticeable difficulty change between Duality & Spire vs the older ones. What I realized is I don't enjoy soloing dungeons; jumping puzzles are a lot more punishing, some bosses take noticably more DPS phases, overall it's an exercise of patience I'm bad at.

Week 1:

For real I thought the braytech security frames were going to shoot me in the back in the intro mission. I wasn’t expecting Xivu Arath to the antagonist this season since we already had a Hive season

Osiris’ grandiose personal introduction to counter Clovis’ ego, him and Clovis butting heads all season is going to be fun to see 

Mara’s back in her D1 pirate clothes? She and Crow are the only one who gets clothes change in this game

That the scorn were exhumed locally, nice to know every major battleground is a zombie surge waiting to happen

Lots of sad feelings that Eramis’ former house are being raised as scorn as punishment

I’ve been hoping to get Mara as a character with a storyline that isn’t about her and Uldren/Crow, looking forward to her being a supporting character and tying into the Bray storyline

The Archimedes mission was nice, playing it solo felt challenging

I just didn’t play all weekend when DiM and the companion app were down. Really shows how heavily the community relies on these third party services, and the dedication and work the people running them do is laudable 

Other Weeks:

So glad to Elsie back and interacting with Ana. its just Bray family drama this season I love it. Osiris pseudo counts considering Felwinter was his mentor

Clovis thinking its a magnanimous offer in his private guard answerable only to him. Just like how Calus wanted to possess us as a shadow. 

I hope that if he does pull the heavily implied doublecross that its not because of Darkness corruption or the Witness but just because he’s a shithead trillionaire

In-universe if my guardian passed Ana’s former spot on Mars and it still had piles of guns I would take some with me

Revision 0 quest: we “surrender” to Eramis, there's so much untapped potential there for Eramis fans. Also wow Eramis sounds so depressed and its understandable, all those of her house that we killed being brought back as scorn.

I love that they reused areas from DSC, it makes sense storywise Bray facilites used the same design and I’m sure helped with developing such an elaborate quest. Going up to space and seeing Earth and the Trsveler was really special

Think its cool Fenchurch (agent of the Hidden) gives us the weapon and not Clovis. We’ve seen more of the Hidden this year than before, I’d love to see a season of the Hidden and see Aunor ingame 

Cutscene: based of Bungie to include MLK as part of things Ana taught Rasputin, especially since they usually shy away from recent historical people

Clovis has the anime villian glasses glare, he did fucked up science to his daughter(s) and assuredly unethical animal experimentation to the dog. Clovis is Shou Tucker.

Ana says “why didn’t you ever tell me you studied under Fellwinter” when it’s like a well known fact, IN UNIVERSE. Cool to get more of Osiris reflecting on himself as a novice and his relationship with the Iron Lords. 

Aww there are some Cabal dogs there. Meme of Saladin running Old Friend’s Senior Dog Sanctuary complete with the infamous last post. Shame it won’t let me climb to the top

Fun Clovis cutscene, once again recontextualize that legend of “rasputin shot the traveler” 

So Clovis is just now on Europa?? As the verison in the exomind was a copy-dublicate vs a copy-cut, then wasn’t he vulnerable to Xivu-Arath the whole time? Also in a way Ana did kill her grandfather, if you consider the copy to be a separate version since if might have different memories

The dialogue in battlegrounds is top notch where it has just a bit of friction between different parties. Then there’s the direct personal attack lines of “Clovis Bray. Your progeny have surpassed you. Your services are no longer required. We appreciate your understanding”. Rasputin responding with corpo speak

Mara is back in her Queen clothes, dev bias that shes the only one who gets 2 outfits in a season /s

The new choral sounding music in the HELM is great, apparently a warmind track remix

The Rasputin and Osiris radio message was fun, in absence of Saladin being pissed at Rasputin for killing Felwinter we get Osiris being pissed when Raputin speaks with Felwinter’s memories

Mixed feelings on week 7 story where they started foreshadowing Rasputin’s death heavily, in week 7 its a question of “are we doomed to repeat the past” but it somehow becomes “humanity destiny 2 main story has no need for a warmind, Rasputin is too dangerous to live we gotta put him down like Old Yeller”

the ending cutscene was a lot of nice looking CGI and yet again the Tower view of the Traveler changes before a new expansion. Great to see all the different characters and the tower feels weird now without the Traveler. 

My more cynical take a week later and after thinking about how it was 2+ years between a Rasputin and Ana storyline, Rasputin’s death felt more like they were trying to trim the cast of characters than a killing a character to raise the stakes. Clovis Bray can copy himself and be fine after being deleted, and Rasputin has all these extra data cores he doesn’t feel fully dead, just “dead” enough for some angst but not so dead he can’t be brought back as the plot demands.

Do agree with the post that for a season where the grand finale is Rasputin sacrificing himself, this wasn’t really his season in that so many other characters got a lot of screentime, focus, and build up 

Anyway finally Eramis has crossed the line into poor little meow meow 

I like how Eramis has been talking to us personal a lot this season. Her lines on Seraph Station where she considered it a rematch of the Beyond Light fight, her lines in the battlegrounds where she says “polish your finest armor. I’ll see you again” and the other lines she has talks about trust and despair

Kind of a shame how at the end of the season Clovis kind of faded out of the story with no real resolution.

Dungeon:

45 second revive timers in a jumping puzzle fucking suck

Ah the rasputin classical music I love it

Eramis on the collectables? Once again we’re just too late to see her. “We have no need of gods” interesting how much effort Eramis spends trying to get us to hate the Traveler

Osiris: “maybe this will restore Ikora’s faith in me” plz Osiris just talk to Ikora she’s concerned that you have no ghost and there are 0 OSHA safety regs here

I like the trace the wire mechanic a LOT more than nightmare zone bell mechanic

The super low Cowboy hat dungeon drop percentage is bullshit if it was done intentionally. It's disrespectful to players' time to make the Hunter one more rare than the other classes. I finished the season with 0 hats.

The dungeon especially in the last boss feels like its meant to be played with 100 resilience.

[n0resistance]

2024

  It took me a few years to get to the point where I am as an adult 30 something living in New York. I finally live in a comfortable space and it has character for sure. Living in Queens makes me feel separate from the exhausting over productive city that I call home. I made my priorities minimal, and one thing I’ve been working on since 2022 is healing and understanding my emotions as well as past trauma.

I have always been constantly triggered, anxious, borderline depressed. What’s weird about depression is nobody can tell that you have it, especially for me. How can you be depressed when you travel all the time, how can you be depressed when you have an amazing relationship, and you’re social. You’re the one who doesn’t care about what people think about you. 

    Well; sometimes when we seem really happy the reality is we’re putting up a front. I was experiencing a ton of grief, grief of not being the way it once was, people changing, losing my grandfather and my dog. I’m still grieving it. Before, I made pretty good money but it felt abusive and I hated what I was doing. Which I would promise myself that I would never compromise my well being for money. It was a situation where I made a lot and also had the freedom to pursue the arts. However, I was neglecting my higher purpose. You feel that your purpose isn’t to just get through it and to soothe yourself later because you can afford it. 

   Traveling ends and you need a life outside your relationship. You need friends, work that matters, hobbies, and things that fulfill you. You need to feel good on your own or else you lose all balance. Balance isn’t really what society tells you it is. 

   I’ve achieved it at this moment, and am trying to maintain it. My partner and I live a lone finally (ha) in a neighborhood and place we enjoy, I’m not attached to my work, I cut out working full time and currently work a-few jobs. I have to be really on top of my schedule since I don’t work from home at all. This way I’m helping people with skill sets that took me years to hone. It’s led to make more money, spend less time on it, and help more people. So win/win. My motivation is to be autonomous, so I can create time to take care of myself, make art, work on my health, and spend time with loved ones. I’m not in enormous amounts of stress, finally. Never knew it was possible in New York City. 

   Now I’m dealing with the discomfort of calmness.  After always being used to chaos, drama, and even tragedy. This Christmas was a very calm one. I dogsat, my partner had to work at the hospital, he sacrifices so much for work. We just focus on each other, gave each other gifts. It was like a staycation with work. That was it. We also got to see friends in Ridgewood which was really really cute before going back home. It was an alternative holiday. There was katonah yoga, brunch at Russ & Daugthers, city views, dogs, only tourists on the streets and Christmas cheer. I didn’t want to spend another Christmas apart from my boyfriend so I had to make it worthwhile. This was a way to be together. 

    Holidays are triggering. I have a lot of memories with my mom especially because she loved Christmas so much. So even though I’m not used to this, I’m trying to get comfortable in simple and calmness. I just feel old enough to know that everything will work out and things will change. It’s important to adapt and flow. 

     This was my year of relaxing. It took so much to get a comfortable place to live, it took so much to not actively hate work, it took so much to find the love of my life. I’m living as best as I can by prioritizing. Everything else is just extra. The new project, event, trip, course that I’ll be taking. It’s just extra but before it was sustenance to my survival. Mainly because I didn’t know how to figure it out. I didn’t know how to say no or put myself first. 

    My experiences of finding yoga again, going to a comedy class, doing a play, creating an event, and not allow negative vibes take over was a lot of action and mindfulness. Pursuing those things have saved my life in one way or another.

   Before I was jumping from 1 unhealthy thing to another. Now, each thing I do is healthy with a healthy amount of it. I have a lot of resolutions this year that I want to incorporate in my lifestyIe. To be frugal, give up vices, Stop judging people, I want to eat well and read well, be around only good energy. I want to be a minimalist for real, and this the first real year where I don’t feel like my life is just me. I also have to adapt to my partner too, where his future takes him affects me, and also know what it is I want too. 

    To 2024, I’ll be turning 33 soon. I finally feel like a grown up. I just want to act like it now. 

[pascalssbabyy]

Something New 🤍

Pairing: Joel Miller x Innocent!F!Reader

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 14.6k (oops?)

Summary: Getting bored of the bare minimum in Jackson was getting to you. Until you mention to Tommy that you want to start helping with patrol duty. Successfully persuading him to go with the idea, Tommy knows just the man to pair you up with.

Warnings: 18+ SMUT, no use of Y/N, age gap (not actually specified), insecure!reader, slight insecure!Joel, soft!Joel but also mean!Joel, slight inexperienced!reader, P in V, unprotected sex (don’t actually do this, please be safe!) m!masturbation, f!oral receiving, drunk sexual harassment (not from Joel), Tommy and reader know each other well. Cute ending 🤍

🤍 Hi everyone! This is my first ever story on here! I am so so anxious posting it as I’ve never wrote anything like this in my life so please be easy on me! I know it’s probably not the best but I’m learning! I’ve re-read it loads so forgive me if there’s any mistakes. Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

Life in Jackson was definitely something you’d never thought you’d have. A roof under your head, security, food and an actual community where everyone was there for one another. It was such a huge change for everyone and it was definitely difficult to get used to at the start. No more sleepless nights, no more fighting for survival, it was a life you’d never thought would be possible.

You’ve now been in Jackson for over a year. About a month in, Tommy gave you a list of jobs you could pick from to help the people and the community. He wasn’t pushy with it, but you were eager to help out as much as possible. It was a rocky start for you to try to fit in as you were new and still not used to other people around you; the constant feeling of needing to protect yourself and keep others out, you kept yourself to yourself as life had always been. You wanted a job to help get you out there, to get you socialising with everyone and hopefully make a few friends along the way, and you thought the perfect way to do that was to get a job at The Tipsy Bison.

Work was fine in the beginning; it actually made life feel normal again, like no apocalypse had completely wiped out the world and killed almost everyone. Your job at the pub is where you met your new best friend, Rebecca. She was only a couple of years older than you, and you both got on pretty much instantly; she’s got to know everything about you, what life was like before Jackson and how you got here in the first place, it was nice to finally have someone to talk to and to feel yourself around, you could trust her with anything and everything.

It’s a Friday night, and you’re currently working the late shift. Rebecca is sitting in front of you, clutching onto her icy glass of spirits while you dry the clean glasses and put them away in their designated spot.

“Josh asked me out today. Can you believe it?” Her voice cuts you out of your trance as you turn to face her, rolling your eyes before she can see. “Ooh, did he now?” You reply, raising your eyebrows at her, which makes her scoff. “Yeah, I know what you're thinking; he’s a nice guy, I promise you.” She sips on the last bit of her drink, pulling her face in at the taste of it, burning as it goes down her throat; the bottom of the drink is always the strongest. Rebecca didn’t even know why she brought it up in the first place, she knows you inside out and how you’d react.

The truth was you were a little jealous of Rebecca in that sense. She was beautiful, so she was bound to get guys approaching her, offering her a drink here and there, and asking to walk her home when it got too dark outside. She bloomed with confidence and was never the one to turn any guy down.

You’d get that too, men asking you out, that was a negative of working at the Tipsy Bison. Drunk men waltz up to the bar in an attempt to impress you, asking if they could wait for you to finish to walk you home or buy you a drink after your shift; the thought makes you sick. This is a couple of the reasons why you started disliking your job, tired of the harassment from men, the late nights and busy days leaving you too exhausted to do anything after. You wanted a change, something to bring that spark back to you, and that was just about to happen.

“I heard they’re looking for recruitment for the patrol duties” Rebecca mentions, as she slowly swirls the ice in her empty glass, you don’t reply straight away, refilling her drink in hopes she’s carry on with what she’s going on about. “Not enough people to go on route at the moment apparently and the weather is putting people off which is understandable. You wouldn’t see me out there in weather like this.” Rebecca twirls her straw to mix the alcohol with the melting ice in her drink before taking a sip. “Yeh that’s true” you nod clutching the dish towel in both hands.

It’s like a lightbulb went off. Yeah patrols seemed hard but you lasted so long out there on your own why wouldn’t you be able to do it? Just going to certain checkpoints and staying on watch for a few hours or a couple night at tops. How hard could it be? It would at least get you away from all the drunk people you have to serve and deal with. It wouldn’t harm asking Tommy would it? You were young and to you, that was an advantage. You were strong and quick on your feet, sure you weren’t the best with a firearm but a knife you’d had experience in using. You knew a couple other woman that patrolled, so why couldn’t you?

It’s all you could think about walking home. It was late in the morning once you’d finished all your jobs at the pub, exhausted as you dragged your feet along the concrete path but thinking of all the possibilities of becoming a member of the patrol team. The best part, this is a job you’d be proud of, protecting the people of Jackson and looking out for the community. The thought puts a smile on your face. Once you get home you quickly get yourself in the shower to rinse off another long, boring day off your shoulders and slowly make your way into bed. You’ve made your decision, you’ll see Tommy first thing in the morning.

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

You’ve got a thick coat wrapped around your body as you make your way to Tommys office. The coat you wore completely swallowed you whole and was definitely too big for you, the hood engulfing your head, your hands shoved into the pockets and a thick scarf wrapped around your neck. The sound of the snow crunching against your thick boots is oddly therapeutic as you make your way to your destination. With each step you take your mind plays out the negatives: Are you starting to have second thoughts? What if he laughs at you? What if he gets offended that you’ve offered? The sweet, quiet girl going on patrols? Don’t be stupid! You’re too weak to be going on patrols. Do you even know how to do anything other than make a decent tasting cocktail? Before you can get yourself out of it and maybe have a little longer to go through the pros and cons of the situation you’re standing in front of Tommys door.

“You can do this,” you mutter to yourself. There’s no harm in asking or inquiring about the job.

You take the leap of faith and push the door open and make your way inside.

You’ve only been in Tommys office a couple of times. The last time being about how your job was going at the Tipsy Bryson and if you were settling in well at home. Of course you lied through your teeth and told him that the job was going well, not wanting to bother him with your thoughts and issues. Tommy liked to hear how you were getting on from time to time and was happy you were settling in well overall. That’s what you liked about Tommy, he was a good leader and would always take his time with everybody to know the ins and outs of their lives. He was so kind and understanding to you when you first arrived in Jackson and he made you feel so welcome, making sure everything was to your liking and if not, to come to him or Maria straight away. He was such an easy person to get on with, no wonder he was the leader of the community.

The bell above the doors goes off which grabs Tommy’s attention straight away, you gently close the door behind you and pull your oversized hoodie off your head as it rests above your shoulders.

“Hey!” Tommy smiles at you and then slightly furrows his brows as he puts his pen down and stops whatever he was writing, he definitely didn’t expect to see you here especially at this time in the morning, you’re still stood awkwardly in the doorway, noticing the slight confused look plastered on his face.

“Mornin’ love, what you doing here? How’s everything going, you alright?” He straightens up in this seat giving you his full attention with whatever reasons got you standing in his office, clearly noticing the nerves you’re suddenly feeling.

“Morning Tommy, I was uh just wondering if I could talk to you about something. It’s something I heard mentioned at work yesterday, something that I could maybe help with.”

Were you always this awkward? You slowly make your way into his office, taking you hands out of your pockets and start fiddling with your fingers, something you always do when you’re nervous, force of habit. You take a deep breath through your nose, hoping to ease the tension you were feeling in your lower stomach. Your face starts to heat up from the nerves considering the freezing cold walk over to Tommys office.

“Yea of course you can, take a seat I’ll make you a coffee, let’s get you warmed up!” Tommy leaves the room and you’re left on your own as he walks in the back to make your drink. Taking your time, you’re eyes wonder round his office, it was nice and neat with a few photo frames scattered around of Tommy and Maria and some of this life before, papers scattered round his desk and an empty cup of coffee on the corner, hearing the back door open, you see Tommy walking back to his desk and pop your hot cup of coffee in front of you, he sits himself back down so he’s facing you ready to hear what you are about to say.

“So what’s up love?” He leans back on his chair, intertwining his hands together as he looks back at you with a small, reassuring smile. Tommy always called you the sweetest of words: love, sweetheart, darling. He knew the nicknames never made you feel awkward or uncomfortable and even if they did he would stop straight away. In fact you secretly loved them and they made you feel close to him. Tommy was always someone you could count on and trust.

“Well…” you say, looking everywhere but not him. “As I said before Rebecca had mentioned to me that you needed a few extra hands for patrols and it got me thinking…I would really like to give it a go. You know, helpin’ out.” You let out the air you were holding and finally look at Tommy’s expression, his eyebrows are raised and his face has a blank stare. He definitely didn’t expect you to say that.

“Sweetheart… I don’t know if that’ll be a good idea, it’s a lot out there,” he mutters. “Why do you want to anyway? Are you not enjoying the pub?” You know you don’t have to be scared when talking to Tommy. He’s known you a while now to know that you shouldn’t be holding back anything you want to say.

“It’s just…it’s getting to me a little.” You’re now looking down at the floor. Have you disappointed him with mentioning that your job at the pub is not what you want anymore? “I just want to try something new and help out a lot more. She mentioned you’re struggling with staff at the minute n’ I’m more than up for helping out. I know I don’t really look the part but I know I can do it once I get the hang of it.” Tommy is still looking at you with his raised eyebrows and lips parted slightly.

“I mean…it’s a big job sweetheart and I just don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into. There will be long days and the weather is making it so much more difficult for us, I don’t want to throw you in the deep end.” Tommys face is full of worry but yet softness as he’s trying to understand why going on patrol seems like something you could start doing. He never wants to put you in an uncomfortable or even a dangerous situation.

“No I know it’s not going to be easy! I lasted a long time on my own out there as you know,” those memories are hard to come back to after being in Jackson for so long and Tommy already knows what you’ve been through before he found you. “I really wanna try it, just give me a chance at it and if it doesn’t go right then we can forget it ever happened and I’ll go back to the pub.” You’re desperate to get out of your current job and Tommy can feel it in your words.

“Well I love the enthusiasm.” He chuckles when he says it and shuffles his chair closer to the desk and straights his back, he has a glimmer in his eye and writes down something on a piece of paper and gives it to you.

After a few seconds of silence Tommy speaks up. “Okay sweetheart we’ll give it a go.” Tommy gets up from his chair and comes round to the front of the desk planting both hands on the sides gently leaning his body back. “Why don’t I give ya your first job this Monday coming? It’ll only be a couple of hours and a really short one for your first time. You won’t be on your own of course and I know the perfect person to pair you up with to ease you into it.” This is perfect, you never thought he’d actually agree to it. Butterflies erupt in your lower stomach from the excitement and also just a slight bit of anxiety. You have no idea what it’ll in-tale but you don’t mind a challenge.

“Thank you Tommy I really appreciate you giving me a chance.” He just smiles at you and gives you a small nod. You had forgotten your coffee on the side and reach for it, slowly bringing it up to your lips, the strong flavour instantly warming your body up. “D’you mind if I ask who I’d be paid up with?” The cup is still touching your lips and the steam warms your red checks and nose.

“Yea of course sweetheart, you’ve heard of my brother Joel haven’t you?”

Of you know of him.

Everyone knows about Joel Miller.

Your face drops at the name. Surely there was someone else he could pair you up with other than his brother Joel. You didn’t really know him, only seeing him when he would pop in the pub for a couple of drinks after his patrol shifts or in the mornings when he would eat his breakfast in the cafeteria. He would mainly be on his own, looking like a man who enjoys his own company than being with others, occasionally Tommy would join him for a few drinks in the pub but mainly the man would make his way to the bar on his lonesome.

Joel Miller had arrived to Jackson with a young girl called Ellie only just a couple of months ago. You didn’t know much about them both other than they weren’t related but there was definitely a father/daughter relationship there. You noticed Ellie had really come out of her shell during the time she had been in Jackson, fully embracing the new and safe life that she knew Jackson would give her, finally growing into her own person and welcoming anyone who came her way. Joel however…it was a different story.

Everyone knew not to mess with Joel, words had gone round about what stuff he got up to before his arrival into Jackson, all the bad things he’d supposedly done. Tommy had warned pretty much everyone that Joel wasn’t like him. Joel was more hidden, quiet and never wanted to indulge in an social activities that happened in Jackson, which happened quiet frequently to keep morale high in the community. But that didn’t stop you from watching the man each time you heard him waltz into the bar when you were on hours.

Joel Miller to put it bluntly was the most attractive man you’d ever laid your eyes on. Tall, broad and a face that looked like it had been carved by the gods, his patchy beard and salt and pepper hair that you so badly wanted to run your hands through, a voice that would make your knees turn weak when all he would say to you is “whiskey, neat and no ice” and all you could do was nod and make what he wanted. You’d do whatever he wanted if he’d let you.

The infatuation would develop the more you saw of him, constantly checking the entrance door, the anticipation of knowing he could walk in any second, some nights left disappointed as he wouldn’t show up at all.

How can you develop a crush on a man who doesn’t even know of your existence and worse, a man who was over twice your age. You’d shove all the thoughts deep down into the pit of your stomach and just keep the attraction hidden. You could do this, a little crush wasn’t going to stop you from showing Tommy that you were capable of patrolling and doing the job successfully. Just try not to get distracted by the man.

Should be easy.

“I don’t know him much but I think we should get on okay.” (Oh you’re so wrong and you don’t even know it yet.) You’ve now finished your coffee and put the empty cup back on the desk. You gently stand up so your now in front of him and give him a wide smile.

“I really appreciate the opportunity Tommy, I won’t let you down I promise.” Tommy chuckles and stands up straight gently putting his hands on the middle of your back and walks you to the entrance door. Always such a gentleman.

“Any nonsense my grumpy older brother gives you please let me know. He’s the best person to pair you with, he’ll keep you safe out there. He’s not the most social guy and he’s a little quiet with everyone so don’t let that get to you that’s normal for Joel. I’ve wrote down the meeting time and location on that piece of paper for you. Myself n’ Joel will be there in the mornin’ just to go through some of the basics and I’ll be there the second you get back and we’ll talk about how you found it n’ possible future patrol routes for yourself and Joel. Are you 100% sure you’re up for it? You can say now if y’still unsure?”

“No no Tommy I’m sure. I’ll see you Monday.” He nods at you, says his goodbyes and give you a wave as you walk back home. Well that was successful. Monday can’t come quick enough.

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

The weather to your advantage wasn’t as cold this morning as you thought it was going to be. In your right hand you had the piece of paper Tommy had given you so you definitely made sure you knew where you were going and the time you had to meet him. Checking the note every couple of minutes forever doubting yourself that you’d go to the wrong place and also get there at the wrong time. Making your way to the front of the gates you can see two silhouettes chatting to one another, your throat starts getting tighter when you see Joel move his attention straight to you walking over to him and Tommy.

“Good morning sweetheart y’here just on time!” Tommy gives you a gentle hug and rubs his hands on each side of your arms to warm you up. The action makes you chuckle, quickly easing you up to whatever him and Joel have got planned for you.

You introduce yourself to Joel and give your hand out to him to shake which he accepts. His grip is strong, making your face twitch in a slight discomfort from the surprised pressure of his calloused hands, it makes your stomach flip. His face is showing many emotions: Confusion is definitely one, maybe a hint of frustration? You know he’s questioning why the hell Tommy agreed to get you working on patrols and to even pair you up with him. What is it you thought he saw? Maybe he thinks you’re just a weak, innocent young girl who was completely out of her comfort zone. You wanted to prove him wrong, you wanted to show Joel Miller what you could do.

Tommy breaks you out of your trance and back into the conversation. “As I mentioned it’s only a short one today, me and Joel have talked about it over the weekend and he knows where he’s gonna to take you. All it’ll involve is getting used to the certain locations you’ll go to and mainly talking to you about the ins and outs of the job. It’s not gonna to be easy sweetheart so if you’re really up for it we need to get you prepared and ready for it quickly, just like an induction to the job today, that sound good?”

Each word he says has you nodding and humming in complete understanding. Your hands were shoved down in your coat pocket to keep them nice and warm, occasionally looking at Joel who was looking anywhere but you.

“Yes Tommy and once again thank you for this. And thank you Joel I do appreciate you taking the time to teach me as this is definitely new to me, I won’t let you both down.” Joel scoffs at your comment which results in a quick punch to the top of his arm by Tommy.

“Well then…” Tommy claps both hands together, ready to say his farewell to the both of you. “I’ll be right here when you get back. Joel please keep her safe and be easy on her, good luck sweetheart.” Tommy rubs his fingers over your shoulder in reassurance as he walks away from the entrance and out of sight. This now leaves you and Joel together…alone.

You’re both stood there awkwardly. Oh god will it always be like this? You’re about to say something when Joel suddenly beats you to it.

“Right listen here little one.” Okay, that took you off guard. “I want no talking from you while we’re on route. I don’t want to know anything about you, absolutely nothin’ and I want nothin’ coming out of your mouth that isn’t work related. When we’re at our first location I’ll have some ground rules that are non-negotiable and must be followed at all times, d’you understand me?”

His huge frame is towering over you, it’s making your breath hitch in your throat and your stomach turn, but maybe in a good way? His voice is low and has a slight roughness to it, you can almost feel it vibrating on your body and it’s making your mind go dizzy. He’s that close to you you can smell him, he even smells nice, a-bit like wood and the body wash he must of used this morning. Did the man have any visual flaw? That would at least make it easier for you to work with him.

“Yea’ Joel I understand.” You’re looking directly at him, finding it hard to look away from the deep brown in his eyes. All he does is nod at your words and straighten back up. He roughly picks up his backpack putting it across his shoulders and picks up his rifle. You weren’t sure what to pack for the day as Tommy didn’t mention anything to you so all you packed were some extra clothes, some food and water for you and Joel, if he would accept it that is and your knife too. Just in case.

A hour into the walk Joel still hadn’t said a word. You knew he would be closed off but this bad? Isn’t he supposed to be teaching you something already? Each step you took you were slowly losing yourself to boredom. The treck though wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Before Jackson you were used to walking for long periods of time so your body was used to the long walks, it was strange to see the new surroundings around you, it was peaceful, no sounds to be heard other than the trees, some birds and the sounds of yours and Joel’s bodies moving along.

You let out a huff louder than you anticipated causing Joel to slow down in his tracks and turn his body towards you. “What are you huffing and puffing about back there?” Joel groans as he turns his attention back to the trees in front of him, you role your eyes at his question. Is he being serious? Your frustration completely taking over. “Well we’ve been walking for a little while now and you haven’t spoke to me once. I know you said you didn’t want to know anything about me Joel but this is awful.” Your words have now stopped him in his tracks, you almost collide into he back with how abruptly he stopped.

“If we’re going to be working together we need to get on a little at least. I know you’re not happy with patrolling with me I could see it clear as day on your face when you first saw me, but I really want to do good here and I need you to be on the same page. So just stop being grumpy about the situation and suck it up!” Joel’s face is raised and lips are slightly parted, you cross your arms over your chest, trying to gain dominance considering that Joel was twice the size of you and his body is constantly towering over you.

“You need to understand who your talkin’ to here sunshine. We’re not going to get friendly with one another, I don’t give a shit about anything that you do and I don’t wanna hear about any of it. You think you can do this job? You think it’s easy? You have no idea what happens out here and I know the second somethin’ happens you’ll be scurrying back home like the little girl you are. I will teach you everything you need to learn n’ I need your full attention, no it’s and no buts. I haven’t spoke to you yet because we haven’t reached the destination yet, then I’ll talk to you more about the job. Now we’re wasting time here so move your ass.” Joel looks away again and continues walking with you trailing behind him. There’s no point in arguing, you know it’ll get you no where, so you shut your mouth and move along.

Joel Miller is going to be a handful.

Once you reach your mark, you and Joel sit down as he goes through the ins and outs of the job, the overnight stays you’ll have to do sometimes, the different locations you’ll be going, what you need to pack and the learning schedules he’s got planned for you, and the more he speaks about it the more excited you get. You start to feel hopeful that you’ll finally be doing something that has purpose, plus the fact that it’s Joel who will be teaching you everything is even better, one of the most experienced and skilled men in Jackson. Yeah he’s an ass but deep down you know he cares about your safety, that’s why he’s being so tough on you (that’s what you think the reason is anyway). Hopefully he can open up to you a little more once you both get used to being in each others company.

After a couple hours you both make your way down and back to Jackson. Joel only talks a little on the way back and it’s just about the job which you’re okay with, you’re just happy he’s talking to you on the walk back compared to the awkward walk up. Half way down you take a pit stop to eat and drink some of the stuff you packed, you offer Joel something which he surprisingly accepts. You both eat in silence until it’s time to walk the rest of the way back. As he promised, Tommy was waiting for you both at the entrance gate, checking his watch every now and then, waving at the both of you once you both come into view.

“Glad to see you’ve both come back in once piece.” Tommy’s attempt at a joke makes you smile and Joel to role his eyes and let out a huff. Tommy pats his brother on the back and thanks him for taking you out, you say your farewell to Joel and also thank him, he nods at both of you and walks away mentioning that he’s going to check and see how Ellie is getting on at home. What Joel says makes you smile, he may have a hard outer shell but deep down you know he’s somewhat soft to the people he cares about the most. Once Joel is out of sight Tommy takes your backpack off you and walks you back to his office to talk about how you got on. You wouldn’t mention the rocky start to the day you and Joel had, but express how eager you are and how you’re looking forward to what Joel will teach you out there.

🍃🍃🍃 3 Months Later 🍃🍃🍃

It’s been a couple of months since your first ever shift on parol with Joel and you couldn’t be more happier with how things were going. You were a quick learner and it hadn’t taken you long for Joel to teach you everything. The first lesson being the basic safety of the job, where to go if things got out of hand and how to contact Jackson if needed be, the weather precautions and how to deal with the cold when it got too much and just the overall basics of the job. Then the lessons got more interesting with Joel teaching you how to start a fire, how to catch prey, how to use your knife the correct way and even getting you to try and use his rifle. It didn’t surprise you that you were awful at firearms but Joel never made you feel bad about it as he knew you had to start somewhere.

As each shift went on you got the impression that Joel actually didn’t mind your company, that’s what you told yourself anyway. The grumpy, annoyed stares he would give you lessened and you would rarely see those looks appear on his face. He would sometimes actually talk about things that didn’t involve work when the job would leave you both having to take longer day shifts or sometimes staying a couple nights out, asking questions like what your life was life before Jackson, how you got here and why you didn’t enjoy your job at the pub. He never spoke about himself of course and you knew not to pry, but you’re definitely seeing his hard exterior opening up to you slightly.

This made it harder for you to control your feelings towards him as the small crush you had on him had developed into something much bigger, which you knew was going to happen with how much time you’ve been spending with him. Sometimes he’d catch you staring a little longer than you should be, or getting distracted by him when he would carry huge chunks of wood for the fire to keep you both warm or how he’d help carry your backpack if it got too heavy for you after your long walks. Joel was really looking after you and the longer you spent with him the harder it was to ignore the feelings digging there way inside of you. The thoughts hurt as you knew he’d never feel the same way about you.

It wasn’t like you weren’t experienced in the opposite sex, you’d had something with one guy but that was a long time ago and was definitely not the best experience you’d ever had. To put it simply, he was terrible in bed, more like a man’s pleasure before women’s kind of guy, so you’ve actually never known what receiving pleasure from someone would be like. Yeah you masturbate sometimes but who doesn’t? Even with being a rubbish shag, of course he ended up breaking your heart and left you questioning what you did wrong.

You often thought about what Joel would be like in bed, he was definitely someone who he knew what he was doing. You’d imagine what he’d be like with you. Would he be gentle or slightly rough? Would he talk you through it? He seems like someone who’d talk a lot during sex, someone who’d constantly remind you who you belonged to, the sinful words gliding off his tongue as he holds you close. You’d imagine what he’d look like under his clothes, his tanned, rough skin covered in scars from the different journeys he’s been though during the years, you’d imagine his body on top of you completely caging you under him while he fucks you, his arms around you telling you how good you feel wrapped around his cock, the constant praise he’d give you. The thoughts make your breath hitch and your skin hot to the touch, having to touch yourself each time you got home from patrol, knowing your pants were drenched with how turned on he’d make you feel, then falling asleep with an empty feeling in your gut that you’ll never get what you truly want from him.

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

Joel wasn’t the most excited person to find out that Tommy had teamed you up with him on his new patrol schedule. Why the fuck did Tommy think it was a good idea for you to start patrolling? You had no idea how hard the job was going to be and were in well over your head. You wouldn’t last a week.

Joel knew he wasn’t the most liked person in Jackson and knew he didn’t help himself with the situation. Joel loved his alone time and didn’t like anyone invading his personal space. He loved how Ellie had settled into her new life and wish he could just do the same. However, Joel couldn’t get out of the past and found it hard even now to trust people, with Tess being gone he knew Ellie was enough for him. That’s until he got to know you.

Joel had told himself that his relationship with you would be strictly professional, he didn’t want to know anything about you other than what he needed to teach you while you both were on patrol together. He knew it was harsh to be like that with you but he wanted to show you how hard the job was going to be and prepare you for the world outside of Jackson. However the more he got to know you and what you were like, the more you got under his skin.

He started to enjoy your company. From the very start you showed him how determined, skilled, strong minded and witty you are, just like how Ellie was like with him when they got paired together. He knew how much you wanted to prove to him that you could do anything he threw at you, he liked how you listened to everything he had to say with the upmost admiration. He cringes at himself with how much he’s started to think about you outside of work.

Because you’re so young, fuck so young and so beautiful that he shouldn’t even be thinking about you in the way he does. When he sees you outside work you come across as being so innocent like, always so quiet and embarrassed when any guy comes up to you. What would your reaction be if he was one of those guys who asked you if he could buy you a drink? Would you be grossed out? Would you like it? He thinks about how you’d react if he slowly touch each and every part of you. He wanted to know how you sounded if he touched and kissed your neck and slowly down to your breast, his lips trailing down your stomach to your aching core. God he wanted to know what you tasted like, he knows it’ll be the sweetest taste known to man. The feeling of your tight walls around him as he thrust his cock inside of you, he’d know the second he feels it he’ll want to live in there for the rest of his life. The thoughts make his cock hard and push against his jeans, tightly closing his eyes and breathing heavily through his nose to stop the blood rushing down to his shaft.

He knew he shouldn’t be feeling this way towards you but fuck he hasn’t felt this way towards anyone in a long time. Yeah him and Tess had fucked a few times but that was just to ease the stress, to simply get his dick wet and to satisfy his needs, it was never anything romantic, from both ends. He wasn’t too sure on how to deal with these new feelings other than to push them down into his stomach and get on with it, knowing you’d never be interested in an older man like him.

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

It’s a Wednesday night and you’ve got patrol with Joel early in the morning but here you are at the Tipsy Bison, sitting at the front of the bar slowly sipping on your drink in front of you, it’s nice to walk into the place without feeling anxious and negative about what the night would bring. The pub is pretty busy, full of people having a good time, the faint sound of the juke box playing in the corner. The sound of music is relaxing as you sway from side to side on your high chair enjoying whatever song is on. You take your time looking round at everyone in the pub, groups of people enjoying each others company, some people on the dance floor, swaying to the music as the song changes. Looking in the corner of the room you catch eyes with Joel, he’s looking straight at you.

You hold your stare on him. He’s sat clutching a whiskey in his right hand and his legs spread open wide as Tommy talks to him. The way he’s staring at you looks like he’s not paying any attention to anything that comes out of Tommys mouth. It’s intimidating but also it’s making your heart race and thighs clench tightly together, you can feel your wetness leaking out of you just from his stare. Surely he must know what he does to you? The look he’s giving you starts to get to you so you abruptly turn your head back to the front of the bar, closing your eyes tightly and chugging the rest of your drink down.

Just as your thoughts of Joel start to surround your brain, a man who you’ve never met before shuffles his chair so he’s sitting right next to you.

“Well good evenin’ gorgeous.” Slurring his words as he speaks. You know where this is going already and you’re definitely not in the mood, you just try and ignore him hoping that he’ll get the impression that you’re definitely not interested.

“Oh you’re breaking my heart gorgeous sat up ‘ere all alone. Lemme buy you a drink, wanna get to know you.” Is he being serious? You turn your head towards him.

“No thank you I’m happy up here on my own. I just want to enjoy my own company if y’don’t mind.” You turn your stare back to the the piles of different sorts of alcohol that are stacked behind the bar, reading the names of each individual bottle to calm the uneasiness you’re feeling from the man beside you.

“Oh come on! A beautiful girl like you shouldn’t be sat up ‘ere on her own. Let me get you a drink n’ if it’s goes well then I’ll walk you home and you can invite me in your home and I’ll show you a real good time.” He’s now slowly made his way behind you, towering his body over you, you can feel his breath on the side of your face as he moves his hands to the side of your thighs, the smell of stale liquor on his lips as he pinches you, making your body jump from the inappropriate act.

“I’ll make you feel really good beautiful.” He’s somehow even closer to you now, leaning down so his face is in your hair, he breaths through his nose inhaling your sent and you can feel his bulge on your lower back. Tears are starting to well in your eyes but yet you can’t seem to move away, completely frozen to the spot.

“Please leave me alone.” You voice is above a whisper, praying that the man has had enough of your constant rejection. However it seems to spur him on.

“And what are y’gonna to do about it? Now let’s get out of here.” His touch on your wrist is hard, making you wince at the contact, you pull his hands away from your body but his hold only gets stronger.

“GET OFF OF ME!” You’re shouting now and all he does is let out a dark chuckle, trying to close the gap between you. The next moment the man is thrown off of you with someone’s hand held tightly around his neck pressing his body up against the front of the bar.

It’s Joel.

“Now who the fuck do you think you are talking n touchin’ a girl like that?!”

Joel looks furious, you’ve never seen him this angry before, his hand tightens even more round the man’s neck as he inches closer towards him, the man’s face has gone a pale white and is desperately trying to pry Joel’s hand off with his own.

“Now get ya dirty, disgusting ass out of this pub now or I’ll fucking kill you right here, do you understand? If I ever see you looking at her again I’ll know exactly where to find you and it won’t be good f’you.”

Joel shoves the man to the floor before he can even say anything. The man quickly gets up and stumbles to the front door of the pub, not looking back at the scene that has just occurred just that very moment.

Tommys the first to approach you, enveloping you into a hug as your eyes become blurred from the tears that start running down your face.

“I’m so sorry that happened sweetheart, you alright? Elaine! Get her some water please!”

Tommy sits you back down while Elaine (the new bartender) grabs you some water, you slowly take a sip trying to calm your heartbeat down. The pub has now gone silent, everyone staring at the scene that has just unraveled in front of them. Did that really just happen?

“I’m fine Tommy I’ll be okay, he was just drunk.” Your shaky voice makes Tommy frown.

He lets out a huff, “still sweetheart that doesn’t give em’ the right to do that to you, drunk or not. Joel could ya’ take her home for me? I don’t want her walkin’ down the street on her own at this hour.”

Your teary eyes look up towards Joel and he’s looking straight at you just like he was before, only his expression is much softer. Everything in his willpower stopped him from punching that man full force, not wanting to make you feel worse than you already do. His one arm is down by his side and the other is reaching out for you, putting a gentle touch to your lower back, ushering you to move towards the front door and away from everyone else.

“Come on sweet, let’s get you home.” Joel’s voice instantly calming your racing heart. Once you start walking you push yourself up to Joel needing the comfort of his touch, noticing he slightly winces from your action but slowly softens back up as you walk side by side.

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

Your house isn’t that far away from the pub which your thankful for. When you worked the weekends you’d usually walk home on your own in the early hours of the morning, always feeling on edge, anxiety filling your veins with the thought of someone following you home, you’re thankful Joel is walking you home this time. You and Joel are yet to say anything to each other however it’s not awkward, it’s nice being next to him. He’s always there for you if you need anything, he’s always there to make you feel safe, you desperately want to tell him everything you feel for him but with each step you take the closer and closer you get to your house.

Joel walks you up the steps until he’s stood at the top of your porch. He’s never been this close to your house, occasionally walking you home from time to time until he got to the end your street and then would walk the other direction. This was new to the both of you and the anticipation could be cut with a knife. You slowly turn yourself to him.

“Thanks for what you did back there, I should of said it before but I’m really appreciative of what you did f’me in there.” You look up towards Joel, he’s now shoved both hands into his jean pockets but his eyes are glued to your face. You can tell he feels slightly out of place, this was a situation he never thought he’d be in and now he’s here, not knowing what to do with himself.

“Y’don’t need to apologise to me sweetheart. That man’s behaviour back there was unacceptable, I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

The way he says sweetheart.

Each time they’d spill off his tongue your mind would go fuzzy. The first time, one accidentally slipped out his mouth on patrol one day and the next moment he’s constantly calling you them: Sweetheart, darling or love, you adored the way he made the words sound, filling your stomach with butterflies and your heart thumping in your throat.

“I just appreciate it so much, and not just tonight but how you’ve been helping me these past couple of months, I just want you to know that you’ve really helped me and I’m really thankful.”

Christ you make it so hard for Joel and you’re so oblivious to how you get to him. All he wants to do right now is kiss you and tell you how he’ll never let anyone lay a hand on you. Ever. He wants to protect you for the rest of his life, be there for you throughout everything you do. He just can’t get the demons out of his head that tell him he’d never deserve someone and loving as you.

He’s done so much bad shit in his life, things he regrets more than anything, how could you like someone like him?

“Well goodnight Joel, I’ll see you in the morning.” Your soft voice pulling him out of his thoughts, he’s somewhat disappointed with your words.

“Yeah, g’night sweetheart.” Joel waits for you to open the door and walk into the house. Nodding at him, you slowly turn your body away hiding the slight bit of sadness you’re feeling from the quick interaction and put your keys into the lock, this is when you remember…

Your locks jammed.

You’ve been meaning to mention it to Tommy, you hadn’t mastered the dodgy lock just yet and didn’t know the exact method of getting your keys in the right position to ease your door open and now you’re here, continuously trying to open the door with zero luck and the worst part is that Joel is watching the mess unravel.

You look back at him quickly, he’s holding the smallest smirk on his face as he just watches you struggle. “I’ve been meaning to get it fixed, it’s a little temperamental.”

Joel can’t watch you any longer, he walks right behind you, gently touching your back with the front of his body and replaces your hand with his so he can give it a go. It only takes him a couple of seconds to successfully open your door, smirking at his success.

“There you go darlin’.” He says to you. Hearing the southern drawl in his voice makes your legs feel weak. Joel hasn’t moved from his spot behind you just yet and you can feel the warmth his body gives out all over you. He towers over you and you admire his strong build. He’s looking directly down at you, your feet suddenly glued to floor stopping you from entering your doorway.

“Thank you Joel.” You whisper, looking up towards his face that has inched its way closer to yours somehow. Overcome with a burst of confidence you quickly grab the sides of his face and bring his lips down to yours.

You’ve dreamt of this moment for months, however it’s not how you imagine as the second you mould his lips into yours, Joel is giving nothing back.

Quickly pulling away you bring your face into your hands hiding you disappointment at his rejection. Joel is stood still, wide eyes as he looks at your frantic form.

“Fuck Joel, I’m so sorry why the fuck did I jus’ do that? I’m so embarrassed I shouldn’t have—“

Before you can finish your sentence Joel has grabbed you by the back of your neck and connected your lips once again. You’re now shocked at his reaction this time, but it only takes you a few seconds to process what happening until you’re completely melting into him once again.

You wrap your arms around his neck as you both delve into the desires you’ve both been holding back for one another.

The hand that’s holding your head, travels down until he’s wrapping both arms tightly round your lower back and lifting you off the floor. The action makes you gasp as Joel takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss and explore the insides of your mouth with his tongue, he can taste the sweetness from the alcohol you drank and it’s making his mind fuzzy, he knew you’d taste so good. The whimper that come out of the back of your throat makes him growl into your mouth, the bulge now evident in his jeans as the feeling of you so close to his body is lighting him on fire, he knows he’ll never get enough.

You knew Joel would be the dominant type, taking over the kiss as you both give into each other. His mouth fits into yours so perfectly as you completely give yourself to him, wanting him to touch you in between you legs where you ache the most.

You can feel his bulge under his jeans, desperately needing attention. He breaks this kiss quickly to move his head down towards your neck, given you his well needed attention there. He gently drops your feet back onto the ground as he leans his body over you completely enveloping you as he attacks your neck.

Your can’t control the pleading whimpers coming out of your mouth from the pleasure Joel is giving you just from his lips. You’re slightly bent backwards with how much Joel is caging you in as his moves one of his hands to your hips and then inching its way up to your chest, squeezing your breast and meeting your mouth again as you both moan in sync into each others mouths.

“Fuck Joel…“ you’re a complete mess underneath him and he can’t get enough, you need to feel him against you like it’s the last thing you’ll do. You lightly trail your hand down the front of his body and firmly press your palm into his erection, which is now fully hard underneath your palm. When Joel feels your hand against him he forces his body off of yours, leaving you panting and the need to have him inside of you right there.

“Joel wha—“ you’re about to ask him why he stopped but he cuts you off.

“I-I can’t. I fuck— I can’t I’m sorry I have to go.” Joel face is flushed, lips red from the assault of your lips on his. He’s quickly walking away from you desperately needing to get out of the situation he’s just put you both in.

You’re stood there completely embarrassed. He definitely regretted what just happened between you. Were you bad? Did he not like it? Tears fill your eyes as you slowly see him fade into the darkness. Once you come back to reality and realise what had just happened (or what didn’t happen) you make your way into your house and slowly close the door.

Once Joel gets back home he quickly makes himself a cold shower, hoping the water can rinse off the feeling of you that’s coursing through his veins and straight to his cock. He’s never been this hard in his life and the temptation to touch it is too much.

The shower does nothing to help with the way his body is feeling, only increasing the need of wanting to shove his entire length into your tight cunt until he can feel you cum around him, he’s desperate to feel how warm you are and how you’d moan his name over and over until you can’t take anymore. He’s in the shower for just a couple of minutes until he can no longer fight the urge and the second he turns the shower off and gets out his hand is enveloping his cock and he starts fucking himself with the thought of you in his head, the way you sounded, your taste, your small hand touching him over his jeans.

He’s forcefully gripping the end of this sink as his other hand works up and down his cock to reach his peak, precum leaking down his shaft and onto his hands as he groans your name over and over until his cumming, spurts of his release covering his hand, his head is thrown back as he continues to fuck his fist until the pleasure subsides and he’s slowly coming down from his high.

He quickly dries his body and changes into a fresh pair of boxers and gets into bed. Once his quilt is pulled up to his chest all he feels is shame and embarrassment. How is he going to get through patrol tomorrow when you we’re both wrapped round one another not even half an hour ago and that’s he’s masturbated to the thought of you? It keeps Joel up all night thinking about it.

How the hell is Joel going to get though tomorrow?

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

You’re walking up to the front gates and you can slowly see Joel’s figure come into view. The lump in your throat is getting tighter with each step you take, not even thinking about looking up from the floor because you know the second you see his face you’ll burst into tears. How can you face him with what went on between the two of you? You’d be lying if you said you didn’t touch yourself between your aching legs right after, wishing it was Joel’s tongue licking up your throbbing heat, catching your arousal as he made you cum. How will you get through the day?

Once you’ve caught up to him you sense his discomfort in his stance. You both stand their awkwardly waiting for the other to talk and hopefully cut the uncomfortable feeling hovering in the air around you. Joel’s the first to break the mood.

“Todays gonna be a bit of a long one, we’re gonna start by walking up to the cabin and staying there for a few hours, there were signs of other people lurking round so we gotta make sure the place is safe.”

Of course he’d just pretend like nothing ever happened, it actually doesn’t surprise you. You’re still looking down at your feet, making imprints into the mud as Joel describes what you’re both going to be doing for the day. Your cheeks hold a slight pinkish hue still not gaining confidence to look up at this face just yet. You just nod at him, letting him know that even though you’re not giving eye contact you completely understand everything he said.

You both don’t wait for each other to say anything else as you start the long walk to the cabin. He wants to say something about what happened between the both of you last night, he’d do it all over again if he could but with him being the one to break it off he knows he’s ruined the relationship between the both of you, he knows he took himself too far last night and took advantage of you with the emotions you were feeling from what had happened at the bar. Jesus how could he be so stupid?

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

Finally you both make it up to the cabin, desperately needing to take your boots off and rest your legs from the long trek that you’ve just walked. You’ve only visited the cabin a couple times and those times had been pleasant. It was surprisingly tidy: a couch in the centre of the room, a small coffee table in front of it, a fireplace, a small kitchen in the corner and a bathroom in the back, it was abandoned but was tidy for the most part. Your mind drifts off to those times when you and Joel would sit by the fire while eating the lunch you’d pack for the both of you and talk about anything and everything, the memories make you ache as you know things won’t be like they were before.

Joel drops his backpack by the door and slowly stretches his arms out beside him, he wasn’t the young man he was before the world went to shit anymore, achy bones and in desperate need to relax and put his feet up.

“M’gonna grab some wood and I’ll set the fire up, y’just relax I’ll be back in a minute.” Joel’s back outside before you can say anything leaving you on your own. You finally let out the breath you’d been holding in since you got to the cabin, moving your backpack next to Joel’s and dropping your body on the couch with a thump, leaning your head on the back of the couch and bringing your palms to your eyes, rubbing them in frustration. You need to talk to Joel about last night, you need to ask him why he pushed away.

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

The wood cracking on the fire is the only sound going through the cabin. You’re sat on the carpet moving the logs round, prodding it every few seconds and Joel’s sat on the couch. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, occasionally you take a few quick glances towards Joel, his eyes are glued to the light coming from the flames as the wood continues to burn, no expression written on his face.

“Are you gonna to talk to me at all today?” At this point you’ve got tired of the awkwardness, slowing trying to break the ice between the two of you.

“I could ask you the same thing.” His reply making you scoff. You’re now looking at each other, there’s no going back from where you know the conversation is going.

“Listen Joel. I know you regret what happened last night between the two of us but can we just forget it ever happened and go back to how things were, please? I’m hating this awkward tension between us.”

Your heartbeat is ringing in your ears watching every expression plastered on his face. Frantically his gets up from the sofa and walks behind it, bringing both hands to his face sighing in frustration. He’s definitely not used to having conversations like this.

“What makes y’think I regret it.”

Your eyes go wide at his confession, your lips are parted and your chest is rising as Joel’s eyes move down to your lips.

“I promised I’d never let myself get that far with you. Sweetheart I’ve done some awful shit in my life and I don’t deserve anything you’ve given me. I’m a bad person— but I can’t control the way you’ve made me feel. I’ve wanted t’have you like that for a long time and my desires got to the better of me. M’sorry darlin’.”

There��s a shift in the air, you slowly get up from the floor and make your way towards him, his head is hung low too ashamed to look at your face. Gently you bring your hands up to his chest where he instantly covers your hand with his, needing to feel your skin on his body, instantly relaxing from your touch.

“I don’t know what you’re apologising for Joel. I’ve wanted you like that since the first moment I saw you. I don’t give a fuck what you did before Jackson, that’s not who you are now so don’t start pushing me away. I want you too Joel. I always have.”

Those 4 words, “I want you Joel.” He didn’t expect them to effect him as much as they did. Joel’s heart is beating out of his chest, he’s wanted to hear those words for so long. The feeling of your soft skin against his callused hands is making it so hard for him to resist you. Your eyes are full of lust as you slowly press your front against him, hoping he doesn’t push you away.

“Please Joel I wan-“ but before you can finish, Joel’s connecting your lips once again. He brings both hands around the sides of your face and immediately deepens the kiss, making up for lost time. Both of your hands are now on his chest, clutching his shirt tightly as you pull him even closer to you, pulling his body over you frantically wanting to feel his heat over you.

Joel’s hands quickly move to your hips and down to your ass, he picks you up bringing both of your legs round his waist, you moan into his mouth at the sensation of his tongue overlapping yours, the feeling of it dancing with yours sends shockwaves down to your core. You pull on the ends of his hair causing him to growl against you lips as he moves you across the room, careful not to hit the table and gently lays your body on the blanket, right next to the warm fire.

He hovers above you, bringing his lips down to yours once again in a rough and needy kiss. You wrap both of your legs around his body, connecting your clothed core with the rough material of his jeans, already feeling him harden above you, his hardness reassuring you that he’s enjoying this as much as you are.

“Fuck sweetheart, I need to feel you, will you let me?” Joel breaks the kiss, your heavy breaths fanning into each others faces as Joel searches your expressions for any sort of reluctance. Your cheeks are glowing and all Joel sees is a look of want fill your eyes, lust coating every inch of your skin that Joel has touched with his hands, your body feels like it’s on fire. You bring both of your hands up to his face, stroking both of his cheeks.

“Please Joel, take me.”

Joel’s lips are back on yours instantly, scooping one arm under your neck while the other pulls at the buttons of your flannel. He frantically removes each button while still connecting your lips, hoping it’ll ease any nerves that you feel. Joel looks down to where his hand is, finishing the last few buttons until his pulling your flannel away from your skin revealing your bra.

A loud moan erupts in your throat at the touch of his rough hands on you, he starts off by trailing them against your skin, loving how soft it is against him. You slowly pull Joel away, pushing your body up so you can remove the material off of your shoulders, you keep your eyes locked on him, wanting to see every reaction he gives you. You notice Joel’s eyes go a deeper shade of brown and his pupils dilate, ready to explore the new untouched territory.

You reach over to Joel’s denim shirt doing the same for him. You’re not as quick with undoing each button, your shaky hands making it harder for you, instead Joel replaces your hands with his, desperately trying to remove the material off of himself, needing to feel your naked skin against his.

Once his shirt is off, his chest is finally revealed to you. The imagine instantly making your panties wet with arousal and your walls clench, biting down on your bottom lip to hold the whimper that’s trying to escape off your tongue. You bring both of your hands to his chest and lightly move your fingertips over the newly shown skin, Joel shudders at your touch. He’s so tanned and broad, his body completely engulfing yours, the small hairs that scatter his chest and then his small belly. He’s perfection.

Intimidated by your stare, Joel leans you back down onto the carpet and hovers his plush lips over your chest, kissing every single patch of skin, not wanting to leave any part untouched by his warm mouth. Your eyes are screwed shut, the feeling of his mouth so close to your breasts is making your breath hitch. Unintentionally you rise your back off the floor and pull at his hair with both hands, bringing his mouth closer to you, he brings his head up to look at you and reaches behind your back to unclasp your bra, he’s hesitant at first. You look down at him with a gentle nod and he unclasps it and chucks it above your head.

“Fuck darlin’ you’re so fucking pretty, prettiest thing I ever saw.” Both of his large hands come into contact with your round breasts, slowly caressing them and bringing his hot mouth down to gently lick over the sensitive skin.

His mouth feels fucking incredible against you. You’ve never felt pleasure like it, the knot in your stomach tightening with each second his mouth reconnects with your breasts, swirling his tongue round your nipple while his other hand squeezes the other, taking it in turns.

“F-uck Joel that feels so good I-“ you’re unable to form coherent sentences with the pleasure that he’s giving you. Once he’s happy with the attention he’s given your chest, his lips trail down your lower stomach as he fumbles with the buttons of your jeans, both of your hands are holding tightly to his bare shoulders as he pulls the tight jeans down your legs, not once pulling his lips away from the soft skin of your stomach. You’re now left in just your underwear, Joel puts both of his hands onto your knees and spreads your legs open for him, finally revealing your panties to him that are now completely soaked with your arousal.

“Y’have no idea how badly I want to taste you.” His confession makes the hairs on your body stand up, your hold tightening against him. This is something you’ve yet to experience and your anxiety is starting to creep its way up into your throat. You’ve imagined Joel in between you legs so many times and now that it’s happening you’re not sure on what to do.

“I want you to i-it’s just I’ve never had-“ Joel slides both hands up your body and moves a thin strand of hair behind your ear and slowly caresses your check, your head melting into his palm.

“Oh sweetheart, are you a virgin?”

You’re quick to answer. “No! Um n-no. I’m not but I’m not very experienced in this and I’ve only been with one other guy, I’m sorry, I should’a said.”

His face softens at your words, his thumb rubbing small circles on the side of your now rosey cheek. “Y’don’t have to be sorry love, if ya don’t mind me askin’ what did the guy do then?”

“He just removed my clothes, kissed me for a couple of minutes and put it in and that was it.”

Joel’s head hits your lower stomach, shaking his head from side to side. “What’a fucking idiot. Don’t worry sweetheart, everything m’gonna do to you will make y’feel real good. I’m plannin’ on havin’ you screaming my name so loud n’ at the end of the night you’re gonna be begging me to stop.” By Joel’s face you can tell he’s being serious, from patrolling with him you know he’s a very determined guy and the thought is making you clench both legs closer around his hips, he looks down smirking.

“Does my girl like that? She wants to be touched so badly doesn’t she? First m’gonna have you cummin’ round my mouth n’ then around my cock, does that sound good baby?”

Baby.

You’re completely melting at his words. He’s so vocal with you and every single word that’s coming out of his mouth sounds like heaven, the low, husky voice sending vibrations right down to your core, you want his mouth on you so badly, you’re desperate for him to show you what you’re missing out on.

“Yes please Joel, make me feel good.”

Joel moans at your words. “And so polite, what did I do to deserve you?” You blush even more at him, nodding at him to proceed with what he was doing. You gently lift your hips off the floor ushering him to remove your underwear.

You weren’t used to someone looking at you like this, showing your most intimate parts to someone, however Joel’s expressions only showed a man who was completely stunned that someone like you would trust him in such an intimate act. He felt like the luckiest man to see you like this. Once your underwear is off you notice the arousal coating the material, the sight of your glistening cunt has Joel clenching his eyes tightly shut, he needs to calm down, you’re new at this and doesn’t want to scare you away, the need to pull out his cock is indescribable.

“Fuck sweetheart you’re so beautiful, n’ so wet. This all f’me?” He gently brings a finger towards your aching core, moving your arousal so it coats his finger. The slight touch makes your walls clench in anticipation with what Joel might do next.

“All for you Joel, it’s always been for you.” Your chest is rising with each broken breath escaping your lips as you look down at his face. He moves his body so he’s now lying down with one arm curling around your thigh, holding your lower body down. His eyes are clouded with lust, ready to finally show you what you’re missing.

Without another word from either of you he delves into your cunt, starting off by licking long stripes straight up to your aching clit, swirling the muscle is small circles. You can’t control the whimpers and moans escaping your mouth as Joel sucks on your throbbing nub, moving his skilled tongue round your sensitive bundle of nerves.

Joel’s examining every crease and face you pull, wanting to find the spot that makes your toes curl and back arch. It doesn’t take him long to have you moaning his name as he delves into your pussy, the sound of his mouth on you is down right dirty, making more wetness pool at your entrance. Joel makes sure he doesn’t miss a single drop, catching the arousal so it coats his tongue while his nose notches your clit.

“F-fuck Joel just like that fuck please d-don’t stop.” Your one hand has a firm hold on his arm while he continues to hold your body down, your other has landed into his salt and pepper hair, you tug hard on the strands causing Joel to let out a sinful growl. Once he’s got you worked up, he teases your entrance with his finger gently pushing it inside you.

His one finger instantly increases the intensity of the upcoming orgasm you feel building in your stomach. He gently curls his digit upwards, hitting your g-spot like he’s done it before, easily bringing you closer to your peak. Your breaths coming out in short pants, the feeling already feeling fucking incredible.

“J-Joel I fuck-.” His lifts his head slightly, your grip on his arm is tight, he removes your hand quickly, intertwining your fingers together to coats you through the orgasm that your about to have, your walls hugging his finger so tight, he can’t wait to feel you cumming around his cock. You can see the slight shine on his lips and beard from your arousal, the sight making you moan his name.

“Mm that’s it sweetheart, let go you can do it f’me, cum on my mouth, wanna taste it.” Joels words are the push you need to tip you over the edge. Just as you reach your high, Joel inserts another finger into your heat and dips his head down, bringing his tongue back down to your pulsing clit, sucking it into his mouth, pushing you over the edge.

Your orgasm rips through you and it’s the most intense feeling you’ve ever experienced. Your back arches off the floor and your body spasms as the pulsing pleasure courses through your entire body. Loud moans echoing through the cabin and Joel is yet to take his mouth and fingers off you, wanting you to feel every spark for as long as he can make it last.

Joel has never seen anything more beautiful than you cumming all over his mouth and fingers, your walls clenching round his digits as your body rapidly chases your high. He knew your pussy would taste so good and now he’s had a taste he knows he’ll never go a day without it, the sweet nectar coating his tongue and fingers as you wriggle above him. The sounds escaping your mouth is like a symphony to him, your soft voice now imprinted on his brain for the rest of his life.

Once he notices that your coming down from your high he slows down his fingers and watches your reaction for any sign of discomfort, hoping not to overstimulate you as he’s no where near done with you. His cock is fully hard and uncomfortable in his bottoms, pushing up to the denim of his jeans begging to be realised, his boxers now soaked with his pre-come. He desperately wants to pull his cock out but he’s worried he’ll push you too far. He needs to go your pace, he wants to try and take his time with you.

When you open your eyes Joel is now above you, both hands are planted on the side of your head as he watches you come back down to reality. His mouth and chin are covered in your arousal as a sly smirk appears on his face.

“Y’alright baby?” He’s just given you the most powerful orgasm of your life and he’s asking if you’re alright?

“I’m more than alright Joel—that was…fuck that was incredible.” You’re still trying to catch your breath as you bring both of your hands up to Joel’s face. You never thought you’d see him like this, shirtless and panting above you. You look down towards his tight jeans, his cock is practically bulging out of the seams. The imagine makes you even wetter as you take both hands off his face and start frantically undoing his belt.

Before you can remove it his hand stops you abruptly, you can’t hide the slight shock that appears on your face.

“Y’sure sweet? I know I said we would it’s just if we go a head with this I don’ think I can hold back.” Joel so badly wants to pull his cock out and stuff you full of his thickness and you can see it plastered all over his face. His eyebrows are furrowed, sweat appearing on his forehead and lips slightly parted. He’s caressing your hand that hasn’t moved away from his belt.

“I’m sure Joel, please— wanna feel you.” Joel looks away from you for a moment, he needs to calm himself down. Your voice and light touch is gonna make him cum in his pants if he doesn’t take his body away from yours right now. Your words are all he needs as he gently pushes your hand away and undoes his belt and jean buttons himself. His hands are shaking from the built up pleasure coursing through his veins and as soon as his buttons are undone he’s pulling his jeans and boxers down in one go, pulling his aching cock out.

You accidentally let out a harsh gasp. You knew Joel would be huge, how the hell is it going to fit inside you? The nerves start creeping back into your stomach at the imagine in front of you. He’s long and thick, pre-come is dripping out from his red tip and landing on your lower tummy.

Joel’s arousal pools on your stomach and makes your mouth water, you take one finger and slide it through Joel’s slick and bring it up to your mouth, swirling the digit across your lips and tongue, closing your eyes and moaning as the salty flavour coats your tastebuds.

Joel watches as you taste him. Throwing his head back and gripping the end of his cock to stop the orgasm that he’s about to reach and he’s not even inside you yet.

“Fuck baby don’t do that, m’ gonna cum if you do that again, need to feel you cum before I do, wanna feel you cum around my cock.” He quickly removes his bottoms completely and hovers above you once again.

You pop your finger out of your mouth, you can’t help the small smirk that lands of your face, you look back down at his cock, the need to have him inside you taking over completely.

“I’m ready Joel. Please-“ he takes both of your hands into his and brings them above your head, holding them in place, he knows he’s going to be a lot to take. That’s one thing Joel hasn’t ever been insecure about, he knows he big and he wants to make sure you can take him properly and make it pleasurable for you.

He grabs ahold of himself and gently moves his tip through your folds and up to your clit, causing the both of you to gasp at the sensation. Yours and Joel’s eyes and watching the scene between your legs, your wetness coating his cock nicely, the light from the fire reflecting your arousal that’s all over his shaft, he can feel your walls clenching on his tip already as he nudges his cock into your warmth.

“S-stop teasing Joel please.” Joel loves the pleading, the begging, the soft whimpers escaping your lips as he teases you. Looking into your eyes, he tightens his grip on your hands and slowly pushes his tip inside you. You gasp underneath him as he lets out a loud groan. He continues to push further into your cunt, stopping slightly to let you get used to his length and girth.

There’s a slight sting you can’t lie. However it doesn’t take you long to want more and more of him inside you, the feeling of his cock stretching you open feels like heaven, pain mixed with pleasure as he slowly inserts himself into you. Joel lowers his body so he’s now fully on top of you but not close enough to squish you. He brings his warm lips back down to your chest, peppering your skin with kisses.

“F-fuck baby y-you gotta stop clenching round me, y’gonna make me cum.” He’s panting against your chest, bringing his lips to your ear as he moans your name over and over. You slowly breath in and out, trying to relax your walls to help him slide his entire cock inside you. Once you get your breathing back to normal, Joel takes the opportunity to completely stuff his cock inside you. You yelp in surprise, Joel catching your lips in a messy kiss, swallowing your moans.

“You feel so good round me sweetheart, squeezin’ me real good, you’re such a good girl. Y’tell me when you’re comfortable.” Joel’s voice sounded strained as he stays still buried inside you. All he wants to do is pull himself out fully and plunge back in, needing to feel your soft, velvety walls against his cock, but he needs to take his time, you already feel so good he has no idea how he’s going to last.

“Y-you can move Joel, please move.” Squeezing his hand above you, he nods as he slowly pulls himself out so only half of him is wedged inside you and back in again. Creating a slow pace, rocking his hips back and forth, the hairs above his cock slightly catching your clit, the friction adding to the intensity.

After a few thrust you feel your walls starting to accommodate his length, his cock sliding so seamlessly inside you from how much arousal your pussy’s creating.

“Fuck baby, can I go faster? Wanna-fuck need to f-fuck you harder.” Joel let’s go of both of your hands and brings his fingers down to grip your breast. Squeezing the skin as he brings his lips to the side of you neck, switching between kissing and sucking. You hope he leaves marks on your skin, a constant reminder to how incredible he’s making you feel.

All you can do is nod against him, your words failing you and he’s wasting no time and starts fucking you at a hard pace. You tightly grip his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he thrust faster against you, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, the pleasure making your whole body tingle.

You need to feel him deeper, you wrap both legs around his lower back slightly lifting you hips up, you can feel him even better than before and Joel let’s out a low groan from the slight change in position, your walls enveloping his cock even more. He brings one hand down to your lower stomach and lightly presses down, feeling the tip of his cock so far up inside you intensifying the feeling, your orgasm building up rapidly.

“Y’feel that? You’re takin’ me so well, such a good girl. No cock will ever fill you this good. Y’mine now sweetheart, let me hear you say it.”

Joel is desperate to hear you say those words, he wants to know that you crave him as much as he craves you. His movement starts to get sloppy as your cunt hugs him so tightly, your warmth wrapped around him is too much to bare. He feels his high rapidly creeping in his lower stomach and all over his body, he starts slowing his breathing down, sucking short pumps of air into his lungs to prolong the feeling. He can tell you’re close too, he can feel your walls tightening around him with each thrust.

“Fuck J-Joel m’yours, I always have been.” You meet his lips in a rushed kiss, feeling his warm mouth against yours, still tasting your arousal on his tongue.

“Need you to cum sweetheart, need to feel you, please cum for me, show me how good my cocks making you feel.” He reaches down between your bodies and rubs your aching clit with the tip of his finger in small figure eights. This is the last push you need as you start cumming round his cock, your wetness pooling at his base and coating the inside of your thighs, clenching onto his shoulders as the intense wave of pleasure is released. You moan his name over and over, your walls spasming around his thickness.

“Mmm good girl fuck y’squeezin me so tight that’s it, fuck y’gonna make me cum.” Joel’s eyes are squeezed tight, forehead pressed against yours as he pushes you through your high. Once he feels you calm down he quickly pulls himself out of you, tugging at this cock until white ropes of his release coat your tummy. His hand is in a tight fist beside your head as his orgasm courses through his entire body. He hasn’t had an orgasm this intense in a long time, he’ll never get enough of the feeling of you wrapped round his cock. The most incredible feeling and now he’s hooked.

He collapses back on top of you, but not too much that he’s suffocating you, desperately needing to catch his breath. You run both hands through his hair, twisting the damp curls in between your fingers, a satisfied hum escaping your lips.

He brings his lips to yours in a gentle kiss, your stomach filling with butterflies as he looks at you, both of your bodies covered in sweat.

“Y’alright sweetheart?” He pushes the hairs that have landed on you forehead back behind you ears, slowly swiping his thumb against your flushed cheek. There’s no where you’d rather be right now, never thinking this would ever happen and it’s better than you imagined.

“Mmm I’m okay Joel, you okay?” He smiles down at you, kissing your plump lips.

“More than okay baby, fuck you felt incredible.” You blush at his words. After a few minutes he pulls his body off of you and you’re instantly missing his body over yours. He removes himself from your body and grabs a towel from the back to clean you up. Once he’s done that he gently picks you up from the floor and brings you both to the sofa, engulfing your body as he grabs the thick blanket from over the sofa and drops it over your naked bodies.

You both lie there in silence for a little, the sound of Joel’s heartbeat against your ear relaxes you. Slowly, you bring your hand to rest against just chest. Joel lightly lifts your chin forcing you to look at his face, bringing your lips down in a quick kiss, his voice bringing you back down to earth.

“I meant what I said before darlin’, I haven’t felt this way for someone in a long time n’ I wanna see where this takes us, I wanna do this properly.”

Where has this soft Joel been all your life? You place both hands against his chest and give him a soft smile.

“I meant what I said before too Joel, I’ve always been yours, the second I saw you I’ve been yours. I just wish we did somethin’ sooner, we could have been doing this a long time ago.”

Joel chuckles against you, his chest vibrating against your cheek. You’ll never get over the sound of his laugh.

“Oh don’t worry baby, we’ll make up for lost time. I’ve got so much more to teach you.”

You smirk against him.

“I can’t wait.”

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Thank you so much for reading! I know it’s not perfect but I know I’ll get there! Let me know what you think! I’ll be posting some more stuff soon 🤍