#my creative drive is RIOTING

[aethscend]

conseq/coincidence is gonna come back (I DESPERATELY MISS WRITING IT TT) im just moving continents soon o(-(

[taexual]

sleepwalking ● 3 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.

genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers

warnings: explicit language, suggestive themes, SLOW BURN

words: 6.6k

read from the beginning ○ masterlist

chapter 3 ► guess my fairytale has a few plot holes

It was eight in the morning when the tour bus arrived in Krakow, and everyone was in a good mood.

The day was beautiful and the excitement of starting the tour was still very prominent, so even the heavy sleepers, who could have slept through a hurricane and merely flinched during an earthquake – that is, Yoongi and Jungkook – both went out to stretch their legs and get coffee when the bus stopped at a gas station.

You observed everyone with Namjoon and Hoseok, until the two of them got too engrossed in a conversation about Rated Riot’s upcoming album—especially the demo song that Hoseok had sent Namjoon just before leaving for tour, even though the label wasn’t expecting a new record for, at least, eight more months.

“I brought most of my equipment,” Namjoon was saying. “So, if you want to see how the song might sound, we could get together and work on it.”

“Yes,” Hoseok agreed right away, then turned to you. “How many days until our first hotel stay?”

“About a week,” you said, looking back at the bus behind you. “Do you want me to check specifically? My phone is insid—”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. A week’s—a bit long,” Hoseok turned back to Namjoon. “You think we could record on the bus?”

“If it was empty, maybe,” Namjoon said, bringing his index finger to his chin. You lifted your eyebrows as you listened to him. “Should we stop somewhere and have everyone get out, so we could record? Could we even do that?”

You were mildly surprised by their determination, considering that the tour bus had terrible acoustics. Not to mention, even empty, it was a whirlpool of various noises: the rattling of the window shades, the whirring of the mini-fridge, the clattering of the mugs by the sink.

“How about you set up a recording studio at the next gas station we stop at instead?” you joked, but the two of them exchanged looks as if they were genuinely considering this. Quickly, you clarified, “guys, no. Could you wait just a little bit? Concentrate your creative energy into writing for now, or… maybe find a studio to rent for a few hours?”

“Ah, that might work,” Hoseok said thoughtfully. But just as he was about to add something, Namjoon nodded his head at the scene in front of you three: Jungkook and Taehyung were running away from Yoongi after having, evidently, just stolen his last cigarette.

Yoongi was yelling incoherent curses at the two as he chased them to the corner of the gas station and then paused to catch his breath. While Jungkook took a drag behind Taehyung’s back, Taehyung offered Yoongi his own pack of cigarettes and sprinted away as soon as the older member took it from him—because the pack was empty.

With another tirade of curses at the ready, Yoongi immediately broke into a run after them again. You could still hear the younger members laughing as they rounded the corner.

“Idiots,” Namjoon commented warmly.

You watched the chase in front of you with a small, wistful smile—this felt a bit like you were on a school trip. And this feeling was amplified when the school bully prototype in the form of a twenty-six-year-old man, Sid, stopped in front of you. He was, actually, called Isidore—for his grandfather—and you wondered if calling him by his birth name would make him disappear, like an exorcism of sorts.

“Hey,” Sid said. Then, he glanced—somewhat awkwardly—at Hoseok and Namjoon, and nodded curtly at them, before looking back at you again. “Could I speak to you?”

You’d have rather jumped in front of an oncoming truck that was driving past you on the highway.

You looked at the two boys next to you for help, but they both lowered their eyes, suddenly very entertained by the pavement under their boots.

“Sure,” you were forced to say, but tried not to make your irritation too obvious on your face. You prided yourself on being diplomatic. And, in any case, Sid hadn’t technically done anything obnoxious yet—but you knew him well enough to expect it.

The two of you walked further away from everyone else together—three other people could have fit between you as you walked—and Sid stuffed his hands in his pockets, seemingly looking for a way to start the conversation.

“How was the show last night?” he chose to ask.

“Great,” you replied, although it probably made no difference to him. “How’s Minjun’s jetlag?”

“Great, great,” Sid repeated, likely not even paying attention to your follow-up question. That was all the better for you; you didn’t really care about his answer, either.

Another few meters later, he stopped walking and looked over his shoulder to make sure that no one else was close enough to overhear—no one was. You and Sid were partially hidden by one of the buses.

“So…” he started. “Did you notice anything weird about Jungkook lately?”

Now you started to care.

You turned your whole body to face him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know.” He shrugged. “Irrational behaviour? Maybe moodiness? I don’t know.”

Your frown deepened, yet you hesitated with your question. “What… are you talking about?”

Sid’s smile spread—it was your surprised pause that gave you away. “You did notice!”

You’d already suspected that Sid would know something about Jungkook’s weird behaviour; now his grinning mug seemed to confirm it.

“Well, he’s on tour,” you tried to rationalize. “Of course, he’d act differently.”

“I mean, of course.” Sid nodded with exaggerated sympathy like he was just trying to be nice, but he knew that your reasoning was completely wrong. “But it’s probably even harder for him now that he’s single again.”

He was nearly soaring when he saw the surprise on your face.

“What do you mean, ‘again’?” you asked. The last formal relationship, to your knowledge, that Jungkook had had was a while ago—and, conveniently, you happened to be the one he had dated. He didn’t have time for relationships now. At least, that was what you’d assumed.

“Ah, see, I told him that he should talk to you about this, but I knew he wouldn’t. That’s why I’m doing this,” Sid said, finding himself very noble. He made an effort to look hesitant, even uncomfortable. But you saw the twitch of his lips when he spoke, “Jungkook was dumped four days before the flight to Prague.”

The engine of the bus behind Sid started as soon as he said this, so you weren’t sure if you flinched because of the unexpected noise, or because of the unexpected news.

“Someone,” you said, “broke up with him?”

“Yeah,” Sid confirmed, his face contorting into a pitiful grimace that looked about as fake as everything else about him. “They were together for a few months, which isn’t much, but he said the relationship meant a lot to him. He said it was something different, you know? So, I’m really surprised he didn’t tell you.”

Again, he mentioned the fact that Jungkook kept this from you—really rubbing it in your face—and you clenched your jaw, forcing yourself to keep your eyes on his.

“Mmhm. Right,” you said. “And that’s why he’s—?”

“Yeah.” Sid was nodding before you finished the question. “I’m only telling you about it because I’m worried.”

“You’re worried,” you said, finding this even harder to believe than the fact that Jungkook was in a serious relationship with someone and didn’t think it was important to inform his manager. “Why?”

“Because of what he might do,” he explained. “You know how obsessed he gets when he’s in love with someone.”

This was an obvious allusion to your own relationship with Jungkook, and you finally looked away to process this. You missed the smirk that appeared on Sid’s face when he noticed your rapid blinking, but you didn’t need to see his arrogance to know that it was there; you could already hear it every time he opened his mouth.

There seemed to be another reason for his spiteful satisfaction: he wasn’t just boasting about knowing more about Jungkook than you did. He was, as it seemed, also boasting about Jungkook being in love with someone else—so much so, that he’d prioritise this person over everything else, apparently.

“What are you implying, exactly?” you spoke up after a minute. “You think he’ll leave the tour?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I hope not. I know how much this means to him,” Sid said and you tried to look past his saccharine words, tried to discern if he was just trying to bite you, or if this was something you should have been seriously concerned about. “But with Kihyun’s wedding in a few days…”

Here, you needed another minute to connect the dots.

You knew that your old friends, Kihyun and Chloé, were getting married soon—they’d invited you and Jungkook to the wedding. But you both already informed them that you couldn’t make it to the ceremony somewhere in Western Europe. It was so long ago, you could no longer remember the precise location. You’d even sent them a gift already.

Naturally, you were doubtful. “Why would he care? He said he’s not going to the wedding.”

“Well, yeah, but easy for him to say when he’s a continent away, you know?” Sid replied. “Now that he’s in Europe, it’s different.”

“How is it different?” you asked. “The band’s got back-to-back shows. We’ll be in Poland, and the wedding’s—in Italy?”

“Paris.”

“Right,” you said. Of course, Sid would know this. He’d come to talk to you fully prepared.

“Well, he will have a free day, you know,” he continued and you frowned. You hadn’t memorized the band’s full schedule, but you didn’t like the possibility that Sid was right. “So, I’m just worried he might end up going there, after all. He knows his ex will be there, so, you know… Maybe he thinks they can get back together, I don’t know.”

All the “you know” and “I don’t know”’s in his speech did not make it easy for you to tell how much truth there was to his words: how much did Jungkook really care about this? How much should you have cared?

There was another thing too – if this ex was invited to the wedding of your old friends, then, chances were, you would know this person, too. So, wouldn’t that mean that Jungkook would have even more reasons to tell you about his relationship?

And, to make this even more difficult, Sid looked very pleased—like he was showing off. But there could have been countless reasons for that, too: because he was proud that he knew more than you, because he was lying, because he caught you off-guard… Then again, you didn’t exactly look at him much. Maybe he always looked like that.

Unsettled, you only nodded. “Hmm.”

“I mean,” Sid snickered, “the last thing he needs on this tour is a toxic relationship, am I right?”

You thought Sid was the toxic relationship that Jungkook had on this tour, but you only hummed again, saying, “you probably are.”

“Yeah,” he said with a compassionate sigh that sounded like plastic fruit did when you bit into it. His eyes were full of pity, too, but there was not one ounce of honesty in them—he didn’t feel bad about any of this. “I’m just letting you know, so you’re not left in the dark. Sorry he didn’t tell you.”

“You don’t need to apologise on his behalf,” you said, your tone surprisingly strict. You hadn’t meant to let your feelings show—childishly, you thought that if he could see how flustered you were, he’d win. You didn’t realise how much you resembled Jungkook in this regard.

“No, I know. I just feel bad,” Sid lied further. You clenched your fists. “You guys seem close. Guess he didn’t think it was important enough to tell you.”

You almost scoffed at this—close? You were his manager. This had nothing to do with you being close. But, of course, Sid needed another reason to feel superior.

“Right. Guess so,” you said and, with a sharp inhale, decided to end this conversation. “I have to go check something, but, uh, thanks for the heads up.”

“Oh, no problem!” he called out as you began to walk back towards the tour bus without waiting for his response.

Sid knew he got you. Taking you to the wedding had to be the easiest way for Jungkook to win this bet. He was confident that he’d just made sure that wouldn’t happen.

Namjoon and Hoseok both immediately noticed the distress on your face when you walked past them, but you ignored their concerned questions, assuring them both that there was nothing you couldn’t handle.

You entered the bus to find your phone. You wouldn’t confront Jungkook now, but you needed to see how big the gap in the band’s schedule was, to conclude if he could, realistically, make it to this wedding.

Most unfortunately, you calculated that he could. As soon as this show was over, Rated Riot would go to Warsaw, and then they had a free day before the concert in Berlin. If he travelled overnight, he could go to Paris and back in this time.

Unless Sid lied.

You couldn’t see the point, but it wasn’t above him to lie about things for no reason. You found yourself hoping that this was one of those times. Because drifting off-schedule so early in the tour was far from ideal, of course.

And not because you weren’t sure—and this uncertainty was unexpected—how the thought of Jungkook being in a serious relationship with someone made you feel.

Jungkook had, truthfully, forgotten to worry about the bet when he woke up this morning. And then right before the soundcheck in Krakow, Sid and Minjun showed up to the band’s changing room, with a reluctant Jude in tow.

His friends must have known that he was the only one still here (although Jungkook could see that Hoseok had left his phone, so he expected him to come back), and they felt comfortable to immediately settle in the otherwise empty room.

“What’s up?” Jungkook nodded at Jude. “You look hungover.”

“He’s allergic to Europe,” Minjun replied—he’d only landed here last night, but he already looked tired and about ready to go home. “Been sneezing since last night. Even the airport security got worried when they picked me up.”

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Jude said, plopping down on the settee by the wall. “My head feels so full. My eyes hurt. I’m definitely allergic to something.”

“Maybe it’s you,” Sid pointed at Minjun with a grin. “You’re the one who flew in yesterday, and he started to sneeze right after.”

“Or maybe it’s your bullshit,” Minjun countered—he was one of the few people who could keep Sid on his toes without using violence. “Or your cologne. You know you’re only supposed to spray it once, maybe twice, right? No need to bathe in it.”

Even Jungkook snorted. A powerful whiff of some exaggerated woody scent—the sort that came in a black bottle with large golden lettering—had filled the room as soon as Sid entered.

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked. “I thought you were going sightseeing.”

“We are—” Minjun started to say, but then paused when he tried to sit down next to Jude, and he sneezed again. “Seriously, man. Go to urgent care.”

“I’m fine,” Jude waved his hands around, while Sid laughed—the more chaotic the atmosphere in the room seemed to get, the more amusing he found it.

“We’re here to cheer you on. Why else?” Sid said, throwing a fist in the air. There was a perpetual shit-eating grin on his face. “There’s already a line of people outside. Those VIPs?”

“Yeah, probably,” Jungkook said and then realised the implication. He warned, “leave them alone. Or my management won’t let me live.”

Sid’s grin widened—clearly, he took that as a compliment—and he sat down next to Jude, leaving Minjun standing awkwardly by the settee.

“Speaking of,” Sid said, “did you already ask said management out on a date?”

“Not yet,” Jungkook said. He didn’t suspect anything from Sid’s question alone—and he didn’t catch the glimmering excitement in his eyes. “But don’t worry about it.”

Sid was not at all worried. He never was.

“See?” he said. Jungkook lifted his head to see Sid looking at Minjun. “Told you he agreed.”

Jungkook’s gaze shifted to Minjun in confusion.

“He didn’t believe me when we told him you agreed to the bet,” Sid explained. “He said this wasn’t something he’d expect from you.”

Jungkook frowned. He liked to think that he didn’t care about the opinion of his friends that much, but he wouldn’t have agreed to the bet if he really didn’t. Now he found himself irritated that Minjun, seemingly, disagreed with this decision.

“What do you mean?” Jungkook asked him, but Minjun only shrugged.

“It’s going to get messy,” he said. “I figured you’d be able to see that.”

“It’s not going to get messy,” Jungkook replied with a pretentious roll of his eyes. Of course, on some half-conscious level, he knew that it could get messy. But he trusted his ability to control this, so it wouldn’t get out of hand. “It’s just a date, it’s no big deal.”

“You—” Jude started to say and then sneezed, continuing in agitation, “fuck me. You dated for three years.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook grabbed a tissue from a box on the table by the mirror and walked over to Jude. “And we’re broken up for four. This means nothing, and you’ll see that I’m right when I win this bet.”

Sid shook his head as he sang, “she’s not going to agree…”

“She will,” Jungkook insisted. His agitation was growing, because no one in this room knew you, not like he did—so, what right did they have to make assumptions? He said, “I’ve known her for years. She won’t think much of this, either.”

Minjun looked deeply uncomfortable. He didn’t say anything else, but every time Jungkook glanced at him, he could see the way his friend cringed into himself, sliding his hands into his front pockets and pacing awkwardly around the clothes rack.

It was the first reality check for Jungkook—one of many, but he naively did not foresee that.

If Minjun—who, despite being smarter than everyone else in this room—was still Sid’s friend, yet seemed disturbed by this bet, then Jungkook wasn’t sure if he was ready for what you’d think—what you’d do—if you found out about this.

Maybe he was too prideful when he asserted that he knew you the best. Maybe he only liked to think that he did, but all that he anticipated from you was hopeful more than it was certain. He hoped you wouldn’t think of this as a big deal. But, he realised now by watching Minjun, that your reaction might not be so casual, after all.

“Yeah?” Sid challenged, breaking Jungkook out of his head. “Well, let’s see, then. You’ve got plans for how you’re asking her out?”

Jungkook turned away to grab a water bottle from the table that he’d been leaning against. “Maybe.”

Sid was a very good actor as he jumped on the couch, feigning excitement.

“Well, shit. Spill!” he encouraged. His leap had caused a flurry of dust to go up into the air and Jude managed to groan before he started to sneeze again. Sid added irritably, “if Jude would shut the fuck up, we could give you feedback.”

“Get fucked,” Jude mumbled, blowing his nose into the tissue Jungkook had given him.

“Dream on,” Jungkook replied with a sneer in Sid’s direction. “I’m not asking you out, not even as practice.”

“You piece of shit,” Sid said, his tone boisterous. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I don’t need help.”

“Alright then,” Sid went on grinning, not the slightest bit unphased by this. Jungkook, clearly, didn’t know the lengths Sid was going to take—and had already taken—to make sure he won the bet. “When should we expect the keys to the Katana?”

“Oh, did you mean the money you’ll be paying me?” Jungkook deflected. This bickering drove him further from his previous concerns about Minjun’s reaction and more towards the thrill of it all—taking you out on a date and winning against Sid. “Have it by the end of tonight. I’ll talk to her before the show.”

“We’re only paying if she actually goes with you on a date,” Sid reminded him. “Just agreeing to it means nothing.”

“I know. And I’m saying, have it ready.”

“Have what ready?” Hoseok asked, entering the changing room so unexpectedly that all four boys inside it flinched. Neither of them had heard the door open.

“Nothing,” Jungkook replied before one of his friends could. “Discussing our plans for after the show. What’s up?”

“Jin says we’re good to go in five,” Hoseok said. “And I left my phone here.”

“Oh, right.” The younger member reached for the device on the far corner of the table. “Here.”

Then, Jungkook looked back at the rest of his friends – all of them looked like schoolchildren after the teacher returned to the classroom. He felt glad, he realised, that they were staying quiet.

He didn’t want Hoseok or the others to know about this, but not because the bet was an exceptionally bad thing. He thought this was like anything else that he did with his friends. And, usually, no one approved of his other after-work activities—not even him, sometimes—either.

But, just like everything other thing that he did with Sid, this was a distraction more than it was anything else.

“Don’t be late,” Hoseok warned, not saying a word to the other people in the room before he left.

“We’re going to head out, too,” Minjun was the first who spoke up – but only after the door was closed. He seemed to make the decision for all of them, because Sid looked comfortable enough to stay longer, but he rolled his eyes and stood up after meeting Minjun’s glare. “Good luck at the soundcheck.”

“Yeah, and don’t worry,” Sid added, winking, “I’ll take good care of the bike.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and slapped Sid on the shoulder with his palm when he walked past him.

Jude stopped in front of Jungkook. He looked ready to say something, but then he inhaled deeply, as if preparing for a sneeze, and chose to just quietly leave instead.

“Seriously, go see a doctor if this persists,” Jungkook called after him before the door of the changing room closed.

Left alone, he shook his head and looked over his reflection in the mirror.

The bet was just a bet. He wasn’t doing anything significant anyway. Surely, if you knew, you’d think the same. You’d find it stupid, but he’s done worse things. This didn’t mean anything; it wouldn’t ruin your relationship.

It would be fine.

As soon as the soundcheck and the VIP Meet & Greet came to an end, you disappeared like you had last night in Prague, so Jungkook’s plan of getting this bet over with before the show tonight, backfired.

A part of him expected this, however, so he made sure to avoid his friends until he saw you after the show. He hoped that convincing you to go out with him (perhaps by appealing to your sentiments of seeing old friends? Or out of pity? He wasn’t sure which route he’d take yet) wouldn’t take long. Especially if he stressed how little this would mean—just a silly, friendly date.

Sid didn’t have to know about the “friendly” part of the whole deal.

Slowly, Jungkook allowed himself to think what he’d do with the $4000 that Sid and Jude would pay him—perhaps he’d tune the Katana—even though this wasn’t even about the money for him. Of course, the satisfaction of actually winning a bet against Sid would be worth five times the money that his friends would have to pay. But Jungkook was convinced that, more than anything, he just wanted to prove a point.

His friends had insisted he followed you like a lovesick puppy while you didn’t care. He wanted to show them that neither of you cared—in fact, you cared so little, that you could go on a date, and it wouldn’t have to mean anything.

Now, whether that was true, was a different thing, but he chose not to think of your touch—and his body reflexively responding to it—in his bunk the other night. He didn’t need to focus on that right now.

The performance in Krakow threw Jungkook completely off, however. This was Rated Riot’s first time in Poland, and the reception was unforgettable: all the faces of the people who sang along, who jumped when the band jumped, who reacted to every single note, every single lyric at the appropriate times and with overwhelming energy – Jungkook was positive his chest was going to burst by the time he got off the stage.

Even an hour later, after Rated Riot finished the show and met their fans, he returned backstage, where everyone hung out and did shots, and he could still feel the adrenaline in his blood.

That was how you found him – smiling to himself as he scrolled down Rated Riot’s Instagram page, checking all the posts that tagged the band tonight.

“You’re happy,” you pointed out, aware of the smile on your own face as you watched him.

Jungkook lifted his head and his smile widened at the sight of yours. He was practically radiating excitement. Chances were, if someone dimmed the lights in the room, he would have been glowing.

“Crazy,” he said. His voice was a little hoarse, but exhilarated nonetheless. “Feels like there are fireworks inside of me.”

You chuckled and took a seat on the settee next to him. You handed him a package of honey & lemon lozenges and a chocolate cupcake—the lozenges were for his throat, to make sure he was able to perform night after night, and the cupcake was to make sure he survived at all. He never ate anything before the shows, and the take-out you’d ordered was taking a while. It was likely you’d have to eat properly on the bus.

He took everything from you and put his phone down.

“It seems that the show tonight was even better than last night,” he said, peeling off the wrapper of the cupcake first. “I don’t know how that’s possible.”

“Imagine if that keeps happening after every show,” you said. “You might really catch fire by the last one.”

He snickered. Taking a mouthful of the cupcake, he hummed, “Can’ wai’ to find out.”

“Forty shows to go,” you said, patting the package of medicine. He nodded in acknowledgement. “Don’t forget to take it after you eat. I’m going to see how long it’ll be before we can go. And maybe call the restaurant. Perhaps our order didn’t go through.”

“Perhaps,” Jungkook mumbled half-heartedly, too busy chewing. Then, as he was watching you stand up, he suddenly remembered what he had to do. Swallowing so abruptly that the cupcake nearly got stuck in his throat, he jumped to his feet. “Actually, wait a second. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

You turned around. “Yeah?”

He put the remaining half of his cupcake down and wiped his hands against each other to get rid of the crumbs.

“So, uh,” he began, wiping his mouth, too—more because of a nervous tick than any other reason. “Kihyun and Chloé’s wedding is the day after tomorrow.”

Your earlier conversation with Sid flashed through your mind and you felt dread gather on the floor of your stomach.

“I know,” you said slowly. “In Paris.”

“Yeah. I was—I mean, I know we both already said we wouldn’t go,” Jungkook continued. Unconsciously, you reached for the ring on your index finger and spun it around several times. “But I actually called Kihyun yesterday, and he said he’d love it if we came.”

You didn’t even notice the implication that he wouldn’t go to the wedding alone, that the two of you would go together. You were too focused on the fact that this was exactly what you were afraid of: not only did Jungkook plan this exactly like Sid had said he would, but he was, clearly, already taking action to make this plan come true.

“And, uh, Chloé didn’t mind?” you asked.

“No, they’re both very cool about it,” he said, proud—you weren’t sure of what: of his last-minute change of plans, or of your friends, who tolerated these changes. “So, anyway, I was thinking, why don’t you and I take a de-tour to Paris after our show in Warsaw? We’ll catch up again with everyone else in Berlin, and go back on the road.”

Now you noticed.

You cleared your throat, then repeated, “you and I?”

He nodded his head once, less certain. “Yeah.”

“Well...” You tucked your lips in and lifted your eyebrows. Your eyes concentrated on the loose tile on the floor by your feet. “I can’t believe Sid warned me about this, and I thought he was just being annoying on purpose.”

You’d mumbled this in a way that probably wasn’t meant for him to hear, yet Jungkook had never heard anything clearer.

Completely stunned, he tried, “Sid—he, uh… he warned you about this?”

“Yeah.” You sighed, unsure if you should have felt grateful to Sid for letting you know of this in advance—it was hard to imagine him ever doing anything that wasn’t for his own benefit. “Why didn’t you tell me you broke up with someone?”

Jungkook was fairly certain he gasped and not at all certain if the buzzing in his ear was tinnitus or if someone was really screaming in the distance.

“I didn’t tell—um,” he paused, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. You watched this obvious display of his dislike for the turn of conversation.

After a heavy minute—that the two of you stayed frozen as if someone had paused the scene, he asked, “what exactly did Sid say to you?”

“That you were in a relationship with someone, and they broke up with you before the tour started,” you recapped patiently. It was just the two of you in this corner of the room, so no one could have overheard, but you still lowered your voice just in case.

“Okay,” Jungkook said, his eyes still closed.

“And that you only want to go to the wedding because your ex might be there,” you added.

“Mmhmm,” he half-hummed, half-squealed. “I see.”

Hopeful that Sid had, at least, exaggerated, or, perhaps, you misunderstood something, you asked, “any truth to that?”

Aware that there was virtually no right response here, because you’d think he was lying or hiding the truth from you again, Jungkook sighed. There had never been any relationship, of course. You were the only girlfriend he’d had.

Fucking Sid. The cheating bastard was trying to sabotage him.

“I—” he started to say, and then stopped. There might be a way out of this, after all.

Maybe he could use Sid’s lies and make them work. Instead of convincing you to catch up with old friends at the wedding—which could take a while, considering how set you tended to be when you made a decision; and the decision here was, obviously, declining the formal invitation to the wedding—he could convince you to help him with his love life. Either way, you’d come to Paris with him, and Sid wouldn’t have to know why.

“Okay, fine,” he said. “Yeah. It’s true.”

All the hopes you’d had deflated in bitter disappointment. You couldn’t tell if there was more to it, a different reason, perhaps, why this felt so disheartening to you, because you instinctively focused on what mattered more at the moment.

“Jungkook,” you said with a groan. “What the fuck? This is the stuff you tell me.”

Once again, he was doing something that he did not bother to inform you about—how many more times were you going to have to learn about his misadventures from social media?

“Yeah, but, you know,” he spoke even though he didn’t know what he was talking about, “we broke up, so I didn’t think it was important to tell you.”

“It is important if it’s going to interfere with the tour schedule,” you replied, and your frustration worried him.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have said this. Perhaps he should have been honest – surely, you’d believe him if he told you Sid had lied.

Oh, but then he’d have to explain why Sid felt the need to lie to you. That fucking snake—

“It’s not going to interfere,” Jungkook tried again. “The wedding’s on my day off. That’s why I want to go.”

“And then what?” you asked, smacking your palms against your thighs – this got some looks from nearby crew members, but they were used to you arguing with Jungkook. Their interest in your conversation faded as soon as they saw that it was you two making noise. You continued hypothesizing, “let’s say you get back together. Are we bringing another person on tour? Or if you don’t get back together, then what?”

“Then,” he swallowed, “we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

You knew he’d say that, but you were still annoyed that he did.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” you admitted. You didn’t like how personal this was starting to get. Your role as his manager was somewhere in the distance now, yet you thought you had to say this, “I’ve never asked any of you guys to put your personal lives on hold for the sake of the band, but I’m giving you my honest opinion. I don’t think you should go to this wedding.”

“But that’s why I’m asking you to come with me,” Jungkook argued, his voice eager. It all made sense in his head – you’d have to agree to come now, you couldn’t have him go off by himself.

You sighed, then gave him the benefit of the doubt, “why? What difference would my being there make?”

“Well, for one, you’d warn me if I was about to make a mistake,” he said, finding himself very smart and quick on his feet.

“I’m warning you now,” you countered easily, and his face fell a little.

“Right,” he said, momentarily hesitating, but trying not to panic yet. “But I don’t think that’s a mistake. Not if there’s a chance I might—well, you know. Get back together with the love of my life.”

He felt the cringing somewhere deep in his own chest and he hoped it didn’t show on his face. It definitely showed on yours.

“Is that…” you faltered, closing your eyes. “Is that really going to happen?”

He watched the deliberate way you chose not to look at him as you asked this, and he wondered—very briefly, even reluctantly—if there was a different reason why this relationship that he was, allegedly, in, disturbed you.

It could just be wishful thinking on his part, he supposed. And it likely was.

“I-I mean, we will be at a wedding,” he said after a moment. “Romantic. So, why not?”

You could see his point—and, most horribly, reuniting with someone at a wedding seemed to make sense—but you had to make him reconsider this. He’d always been spontaneous. You had to get him to think with his head, not his instincts.

“Don’t you think,” you tried, “that people break up for a reason? Because I do.”

He took this personally, but he hoped it wasn’t obvious. At least, not in a way where you’d realise that he wasn’t at all concerned about his non-existent relationship with someone else. Because, of course, he was really concerned about his non-existent relationship with you.

“You… don’t believe in second chances?” he asked.

“Not really,” you said. Contrary to him, you didn’t need to think too much about this. “They’re only an opening for third and fourth chances.”

Swallowing, Jungkook tried to disagree, “well, not necessarily…”

“I don’t know about your situation,” you said bitterly, “because you’ve literally never mentioned this until now. So, I’m just saying what I think. And if you’re still going to do something stupid, then do you really need me there?”

“I do,” he said straight away.

“No—” you huffed, then tried again, putting it straight this time, “Jungkook, I’m not going there as your babysitter.”

“You’re not,” he agreed. “You’re going as my date.”

He had hoped he’d really done something by saying this – perhaps made your heart flutter? He even smiled as he said it, so sure that this would be what makes you change your mind.

But your face remained stoic as you shot back, “right. Because bringing a date would make it much easier for you to get back with your ex.”

Taking a moment to recuperate, Jungkook brought a hand over his hair, his fingers lingering at the ends of his wolf cut. Nothing was going well for him, it seemed, and he couldn’t help but remember Minjun’s earlier discomfort again.

He knew now that his arrogance of knowing you for so long had blinded him, and the reactions that he expected from you were merely reflections of his own. Of course, you wouldn’t go to Paris with him. He hadn’t given you a single good reason to go.

Nearing desperation, he said, “look, just… trust me? Let’s go there and see. Maybe it’ll be enough for me to see all these people that I used to know—that we both used to know—and I’ll change my mind.”

You were half-scoffing, half-yelling at this point, “you went from getting back together with the love of your life, to changing your mind in the span of two minutes! Don’t you think it’s a sign that you shouldn’t be even considering this?”

He exhaled sharply, frustrated.

Nothing. There was nothing else that he could say now.

He fired the last shot—the one he didn’t want to use, because he thought he was better than that. He knew now that he wasn’t, as he said, “I could go with Sid, Jude, and Minjun.”

This brought you two to a standstill: either you convinced him to forget about this and just stay on tour, even though you hadn’t been successful at that so far, or he got you to come to Paris with him, instead of his friends.

And he could see that you’d give in before you even said anything.

You knew he’d never come back in one piece if he left the tour right now for a one-day trip to Paris with his friends—if he’d come back at all.

Jungkook didn’t like how cunning he felt, though, as he watched you cross your arms and bite your lip, clearly disapproving of your impending defeat.

He wondered if it’d be any consolation if he admitted that this didn’t really feel like a win for him, either, even though just the fact that you’d come would mean he won the bet. He had still hoped you’d be more excited to do this with him.

Finally, after what felt like five whole minutes of silent battle as neither of you moved or looked at each other for longer than two consecutive seconds, you exhaled. It was a sigh of defeat, but not resignation.

“Fine,” you said. “If you must go, I’ll come with you. But you’re telling me everything about this relationship and why you think getting back together with this person is a good idea.”

“Sure,” he said, because he had to. He would come up with an excuse or a plausible enough story at his favourite time—later. “I’ll even book the train tickets to Paris myself.”

You didn’t think that was smart—the last time the two of you were planning a vacation together, he’d bought the tickets to and from Hawaii for the same night by accident—and you lifted your hand in immediate protest.

“Maybe I’ll—”

“Don’t worry about it,” he cut you off, grabbing his cupcake and his lozenges from the settee—to show you how responsible he was. Not enough to go to Paris with his friends, of course, but just enough for you to trust him. “I’ll take care of everything. You’ve done enough for me.”

chapter title credits: bring me the horizon, “in the dark”

prev ○ next

[fourteenpigs]

Finally pushed through making a shitty intro.

⚠️⚠️🚨[11/19/24 edit]PUTTING THIIS AT THE TOP VERY IMPORTANT: I’d prefer 18+ to not interact too much,.. I’m a minerrrr ⛏️and have had peculiar experiences with being friends/interacting with adults so enjoy my content and shitposts from a distance please.🚨⚠️⚠️

Hi im FlerbGerp (call me Flerb or any nickname u think of), I’m an artist (😭) and shit poster who mostly (currently on 11/9/24) draws stuff related to Invader Zim or my own ocs because those are like my biggest obsessions rn and i even have pending AUs to post about ^_^!!

If ur my mutual u should consider being my friend… (please) I’m real friendly and can talk a lot if u want to talk a lot :P IM SO FUCKING ANNOYING THOUGH OH MYGOD BE WARNED BE WARNEDDDD,,, but anyways I’m into animation, cartoons (I don’t watch a lot though, idk..) and creativity of all kinds ^_^,,.. if you like any of the photos I put up above then u should totally stop by and say hi I probably won’t bite.

I couldn’t really bother to add other images to list all of my interests but here’s some more:

Lord of the flies, LPS, MLP, ENA, the outsiders, JTHM,chowder, the misadventures of flapjack, furries,etc…(not in order)

Some more music: Srgt. Moon, RUMBLERSGGA,diabarha,snails house, rabbit junk,celldweller,Atari teenage riot,super heaven, Bh6w,Leroy,ginger, etc… (I have yet to listen to more of some of these artists music🙀)

Some musicks..

Uhhhh social media,, I only have 3 platforms.. Pinterest,tumblr and YouTube but tumblr is my main thing I use and can chat with but if u wanna be friends but don’t wanna use tumblr, ur gonna have to let me know what I should use to talk to you (and don’t say discord or spacehey.)

FOR MY MUTUALS: please! If u want to be friends please let me know..,, I’m quite fond of you guys but I’m shy but maybe (NOT GARUNTEED7) one day I will reach out first if I get brave…

^me and my moots

⚠️also I’m terribly ill errored awful stinky and poop, be warned…⚠️

EDIT(11/18/24) please don’t send me donation asks I literally have not a penny to my name

[espave]

Espave Ship Week… 2!!!

(November 11th - November 17th)

PROMPTS

DAY 1: Demolition Lovers

DAY 2: Funhouse

DAY 3: Lover Dearest

DAY 4: Fake Plastic Trees

DAY 5: Riot!

DAY 6: Cemetery Drive

DAY 7: People in High Places

(Note: the prompts this year are named explicitly after songs and albums. You need not listen to any music for this, but if you’re getting a creative block and need some inspo, that’s a hint for you!)

RULES

1. Espave only! The exception is If you’re writing something: it’s okay to have other characters as long as they don’t pull focus.

2. Tag it with #Espave Week so I can reblog! You can also use #Espave I’ll find it there as well lol it’s not a busy tag.

3. You can make art or write, but that’s not all! Avatars, headcanons, prompts, crafts, cosplays, playlists, and anything else you can think of will also be accepted. I’m open to everything!

4. If you don’t want to use any of the prompts that’s okay, they’re suggestions. You can submit anything for the duration of the week, and after too hehe

5. There are no rating restrictions, but do remember to Dead Dove & tag appropriately if you’re getting your freak on! This also entails:

6. Don’t be an asshole about what someone else is making! This goes for both the more tame and more risque

7. Have fun and participate however you so choose! There’s no pressure to make anything but as always, likes comments and reblogs are always appreciated from everyone who participates

BONUS RULE: My asks will be open for you to either submit or suggest things for me or others to make! If you want to request or simply ask things about the ship (both on a meta level or just a headcanon inquiry) send something along and I’ll do my best to deliver 🙂

[miadearden]

Okay Arcane2 Act3 thoughts!

The opening sting having a different picture on the record had me going “OH SHIT” right from the get-go!

Wheeeeee! Ekko time! I theorised that we’d get a full Ekko ep (my thinking was ep08 but I think ep07 worked better) and I’m so glad we were correct. Ekko reckoning with the fact that his tip as a child kicked off both the events in his world and in this new reality that he finds himself in, that regret getting mixed into his need to recreate the hextech anomaly and thus he ends up with the Z-Drive, a device that literally lets him go back in time. Really excellent stuff.

Also the fact that this other version of Powder was so key to helping him make the Z-Drive - and the fact that she sees that she’s been hanging with a different Ekko than the one she knows at the end I CRY

Surprised that Heimerdinger died, but it makes sense. I don’t think there was really much more that he was going to offer to the story, so yeah.

I have less to say about Jayce’s side of the hextech trip. It was about what I expected. Called it that the old sage that influenced his desire to pursue magic would end up being Viktor. And the robot? Creature? Thingys? Were creepy As Fuck. So good going there.

All in all, really loved this ep. Not as much as ep05, but still very much.

Onto ep08! And lmao that tweet about how Cait doesnt stand a chance as the hottest woman on the show when Mel is around goes even double now. Ho dang.

That said, due to the pace of this season and the events that followed, I think the emotional side of Mel’s arc ended up being a ball that was dropped a bit. Like we had that conversation between her and Jayce after about her having to reevaluate who she is now, but it felt kinda forced and I feel like we needed some time for her to sit with her feelings a bit more.

The fact that she went to Ambessa at the end of ep08 and offered herself up to Piltover even knowing that Ambessa just wants her magic broke my heart

Onto Cait - I still stand by my thought that her arc has also been harmed by the breakneck pace of this season - however I do love that we see her draw the similarity between her and Jinx and acknowledge that her pursuit of Jinx drew the worst out in her.

And Jinx. Oh, my poor, poor, girl. Once again her and Vi are going ahead and making me cry. Ekko too. Him using the Z-Drive over and over again, trying to save Jinx’s life. I cry.

On the opposite end, CAITVI SEX SCENE?? SEEING VI’S FULL BACK TATTOO FOR THE FIRST TIME?? ALL TO KING FUCKING PRINCESS?? LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

Hey, so do the Jayce haters still think he’s in the wrong for what he did in ep06? Even after Viktor’s whole speech?

My thoughts during ep09 - “Oh, THIS is League of Legends” isn’t it? Lmao

I can’t believe the Maddie haters were right, actually. Incredible call by the haters

Alright getting Mel and Cait up against Ambessa while Ekko, Jinx and Vi are taking on Vander was a very good choice. Loved the Zaunites coming in led by Jinx during the all-is-lost moment, and Mel’s ploy to pretend she’s giving her mother over to the Black Rose but taking it back.

Hooting and hollering and screaming “Boy fucking Saviour let’s goooooooooooo!” as Ekko came in clutch with the Z-Drive. That’s my boy! There he go!

Fully did not expect Jayce to go out with Viktor. Alright then. A win?? I guess?? For the JayVik fans??

(Also “there is no prize to perfection, only an end to pursuit” is such a good fucking line I’m mad that Viktor of all people got it)

Well, Singed got what he wanted at least.

All in all, good season - not great, primarily because of the pacing which I think I’ve brought up in each one of my posts. There were a number of elements in this season which needed more breathing room to really hit, and we just didn’t get that which is disappointing. I’ll probably still check out the next LoL series that Riot makes - particularly if most of the same creative minds are going to be behind it. And I’m definitely going to be keeping track of a number of the Fortiche artists and Fortiche in general and what hey work on next (which if I’m remembering correctly they’ve announced a Hades/Persephone movie that they’re making?)

So, yeah

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Hello, I've been watching your content for a while. While I quit League a long time ago I still hold partial interest to Runeterra's lore, (such as it is) . In particular I really enjoy Bilgewater in general as well as Illaoi and Ezreal as individual characters and I've enjoyed your takes on said things. (Also fuck Demacia) And I wanted to ask you, after so much dissillussionment from Riot's content, in particular from the latest "cinematic" , how they have always prioritized e-sports and skins over actually giving the lore a proper direction and conclusion or how Legends of Runeterra is getting downsized and unlikely to last much longer, why do you still do League content? You are clearly very critical of a lot of the decisions the higher ups do that affect the output of artists and writers in charge of Runeterra's universe and character designs. And there has not been much sign of improvement since a lot of your points. It's like screaming into a brick wall at this point, so why not move on?

Why not spend your time on something that doesn't lead its fans along with empty promises, breaking them, promising to do better next time and then repeating the cycle all over again for years like an abusive relationship. Beyond doing it because it's what you're most well known for, why stick with content that you know will keep disappointing you?

I'm glad you are diversifying your content but I personally feel your passion for art, animation and writing analysis would be better spent away from League and into more games beyond that (in particularly really liked your take on "Despite everything, it's still you" from Undertale). The indie scene in particular is chock full of incredible and unique takes in terms of character design and narratives I'm sure you will enjoy. League is clearly not worth the time for people who are into the lore, art and setting of videogames anymore. I hope I wasn't too personal or intrusive with my question. Cheers.

So that's a very long question. I'll start with the short and cynical answer:

I am doing League of Legends content because that is what my audience wants, and that is what makes me most of my money.

My channel is a League of Legends channel primarily, the algorithm likes it and pushes it that way, and League of Legends is an absolutely enormous intellectual property with an absolutely enormous player base, which means there's a big audience for my content about the game. A large audience means more engagement, means more ad revenue, more sponsorship opportunities, more subscribers, and so on and so on.

That's the cynical part of the answer. I don't want to sidestep it with some guff about "being passionate about the subject," because the truth of my job is that it is a job. I'm not sailing freely on the oceans of creative impulse pursuing my bliss, I'm trying to pay my rent and my pets veterinarian bills and pay down loans and have enough left over to help my friends when they need it.

I approach this job much the same way I approached being a freelance illustrator - having passion for the subject is a nice bonus, but you don't always need it to do good and valuable work.

And with the cynicism out of the way... I also just genuinely love the fucking League of Legends universe. With all its many, many stupid flaws and its garbage corpo owner and its years of systematic neglect and the constant disappointment, god help me, I still love this stupid shit. And when management gets out of the way and lets the good writers at Riot be good at their goddamn jobs, amazing things can happen.

The Ashe: Warmother comic is still such a beautiful short narrative work, with such visual verve and empathy for the characters it's depicting.

It zeroes in so acutely on the idea that Ashe and Sejuani are shaped by their difficult relationships with their mothers, and that THAT is ultimately the difference that drives them apart when they should by rights have had the chance to be sisters. When they become warmothers of their own tribes, it is the memory of their mothers that drive them, and just as the Freljord is divided by generations of strife engineered by Lissandra, the matriarch of the whole region, that generational trauma resonates into Ashe and Sejuani and sets them against each other.

Or Ekko's short story, where he has been accepted to the fancy Piltover academy that's supposed to be his golden ticket out of poverty, his chance to escape Zaun, everything his parents have worked their whole lives to give him, and...

Like, FUCK, you can't just invent these silly cartoon muppets to throw at each each other in your dumb MOBA beat 'em up and then give them INTERIORITY like this??? Apply their silly cartoon powers in way that explores their emotional difficulties and works thematically with their internal philosophies?

god dammit I love this stupid game's universe, I cannot be saved, leave me and go before it infects you too!

[autisticempathydaemon]

Alas, I have sent in a very long anon so I apologize ahead of time. But I hope these help with the pairing lol *** What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? Sabrina Carpenter- Espresso. Such a good summer song.

What is your Enneagram type? I think type 6? I don't really understand them that much

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? Not really? I used to be really into them but I haven't been watching much youtube lately. Attention span go brrr. Someone would have to sit with me for me to be able to concentrate.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. Didn't have one as far as I remember. But I attempted cause I thought it was the normal thing to do.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? Shutting my eyes and maladaptive daydreaming to sleep.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) I quite like my real name. I feel it suits me surprisingly well so I wouldn't change my name. Maybe add a middle name though.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? Oh boy, hm. I think my favorite would have to be Hush at the moment, but I also really enjoy Elliott's videos.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) I think they all have their merits honestly. If he were still present, I would say Marcus cause he always weirded me out a bit, but if I had to pick a current one? I'd say caller dude. I don't understand but I respect game lol

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. The Untamed. I watched it so many times it's ridiculous. I also read Manhwas/Manga a lot so there are many of those I know like the back of my hand.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Hmmmm. I think I would love to be friends with David and Asher. They seem like a riot together. I only don't add Milo here because he makes me blush so I'd fold for him too easily.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

PFFFT. I do. Music and stories I want to write but can't find the right medium to get it done. Real-life people know I never speak about my creative stuff but don't know about my online life as far as I know, so it's comical to them to hear how many stories are up in my brain at once.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

Pass, I don't drive and rarely go to gas stations. But I'd say if I had to, the places I go often have great slushies/slurpees

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. 

Random on my phone or spotify because I can't be bothered to find actual playlists 😅

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

Romance novels/manhwa/mangas. God I love seeing people love each other, especially if it starts off bumpy. But if it ever happened in real life I'd be so confused and not know what to do lol. Also, I would probably turn as red as an apple if someone found out about it without me telling them.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

I indulge in a lot of creative stuff, but I am also slightly sickly so my patience with myself is less than I would give other people in the same position as me. I'm attempting to remedy that but it's difficult to give grace to yourself sometimes (ˉ▽ˉ；)...

The way you describe yourself as easily flustered and blush-y makes me want to pair you with someone who’ll push those buttons, I’ve got to admit- Vincent, specifically.

I like his flirty, Edward Cullen-esque facade and the dorkier, tenderer interior for you, you know what I mean? Like, he’d flirt and poke fun and smolder as he does, but I think he’d have a good sense of when to stop, when you’ve had too much. I also like him for you as Type Six, the enneagram that desires security, reliability, someone steadfast. Vincent, that blessed simp of a man, is an emotionally dependable, loyal lover on top of being a sap and romantic which works well since you also strike me as a romantic.

Your life together is very fun- as fun as constant, light teasing from Vincent can be. He loves a lot of the same things you do, like manga and danmei. (My Vincent is Chinese, as is William, so he’s especially attached to danmei and historical dramas.) He loves peeking over your shoulders, reading the dialogue in a smooth, smoldering voice and then kissing your cheeks when he makes them glow. He’s a little stinker that way, but Vincent definitely knows to be more genuine and sincere when you share your creative work with him. He’s incredibly supportive, buying you whatever tools and/or instruments you might need until you find the medium you like best.

Song:

The hungry heart, the roving eye/ Have come to rest, do not apply/ The frantic chase, the crazy ride/ The thrill has gone, I step aside/ And I'd believe in anything were it not for you/ Showing me by just existing only this is true/ I love you, I love you without question, I love you

As an 80’s kid, Elton John (and the Road to El Dorado soundtrack as well) feel like a good pick for him, you know? Very classic, timely, nostalgic. I like it for y’all specifically because of the vibes, because it reminds me of this lover that lived this crazy existence, lived hard and fast without knowing what it was all for, until they met the person who it was all for, until Vincent met you.

Runner-ups:

In that same vein of thought, Gavin is a strong, cute contender though I don’t think he would have quite as much of a grasp on your comfort levels and moods like Vincent would. In the opposite vein, the other arm if you will, I like Morgan for you. He’d be a good match for a Type Six, and his vibes just suit you; it’s hard to explain why.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[ausetkmt]

Power Haus Creative’s Black August Month Begins With Support For Activist Jamil Al-Amin

Black August Month has now officially kicked off.

The event is a widespread call to action that encompasses fasting, raising awareness, and offering resources for political prisoners. It is a collaborative effort between Power Haus Creative and community partners Mahmoud Abdul Rauf, Students for Imam Jamil, Black Art in America, and Black Power Media.

The monthlong initiative was founded in California during the 1970s following a prison uprising and the deaths of brothers Johnathan and George Jackson. This year, it is being used to spread awareness and advocate for a new trial for civil rights activist Jamil Abdullah Al-Amin.

Formerly H. Rap Brown, Al-Amin has been incarcerated since 2002. Still, his contributions to the Black liberation movement remain intact. Some consider Al-Amin an enigma. He is the face of an Anti-Riot Act. He was a part of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee. And now he sits in Supermax prison, convicted of murder. However, his son Kairi Al-Amin, Power Haus Creative, and its partners continue to fight for justice after over two decades, alleging cruel and unusual punishment and wrongful conviction. 

“No tangible noise was ever made and as such, my father’s conviction and subsequent exile, a vendetta realized, has gone unchecked,” wrote Kairi Al-Amin in a 2020 petition calling for a new trial.

“The cruel and unusual punishment, the confession of another man, the medical neglect in hopes that he dies, the gag order, the federal holding of a state prisoner away from his attorneys and family, we’ve done nothing about anything and because of our lack of action, much like the man himself, the truth about this case and his legacy have been erased from public view.”

The petition has garnered over 75,000 signatures in three years, but it is still a long way from its goal of 150,000. Despite this, Al-Amin’s advocates remain adamant about their mission, hoping to secure a retrial.

Summayah Ali, founder, and CEO of Power Haus Creative spoke about Al-Amin’s circumstances. “All of our political prisoners need to be released. In the case of Dr. Mutulu Shakur, he was imprisoned for nearly 37 years only to transition eight months after release. We don’t want that for Imam Jamil or anyone that was selfless enough to pave the way for some of the very privileges we benefit from today,” she told BLACK ENTERPRISE.

“They fought for us and deserve far better treatment than this,” she continued.

“My children are in their early 20s and I remind them to sit with the elders as often as possible. As a Muslim woman who’s Black, a  mother, Black Arts Organizer, and an activist I believe we have a responsibility to fight the good fight for those who tilled the soil for us. Imam Jamil is not just a champion for the community but also for the arts. He has said how much the arts played a significant role in the civil rights movement.  We are using the Art of Activism to fight back.”

In line with this mission, participating partners will also be “Feeding the Community,” literally and figuratively, throughout August. Through virtual sessions, scholars and activists will share different information and resources. 

Food drive donations will be accepted throughout the month at the Black Art in America Gallery at 1802 Connaly Dr. in East Point, Georgia. Later this month, on Aug. 28, human rights activist and former NBA player Mahmoud Abdul Rauf will speak at the gallery on an “Art of Activism” panel. For more scheduled events and information, visit @powerhauscreative on Instagram. To request a transfer for Imam Jamil Abdullah Al-Amin, visit wwww.freeimamjamil.com to fill out a three-minute form. 

[mister13eyond]

i was telling mal last night that posting the zine feels like tying a neat bow on my diadop fanwork, because recently i've had a lot less ideas to Make Things about them, but it's also really fucking funny because I haven't? stopped? being obsessed?

i still got Gripped by the need to watch some diavolo mmds yesterday because i saw them in my yt feed and i Needed to look at him... im still rioting in the streets over the nendos im Frothing? i'm still reading fic LMAO ... it's kind of a weird new experience for me

normally when a hyperfixation fades, it's like a gentle and gradual thing and i only realize it happens because a New hyperfixation has set in... but the new hyperfixation is. ocs. so i'm Still getting "Blorbo From My Shows" joy from my pink boys? it's so odd

i think because "things i'm inspired to create by" and "things i love and crave/seek out fanwork for" have always been a 1:1 relationship, but this time... well, there's no fanwork for My Original Characters and also the creative drive comes completely independent of fandom?

IT'S EXTREMELY ODD I'M NOT USED TO IT i'm definitely content with it, i like still being able to enjoy and revel in a fandom even if i find the fixation creation brain has jumped elsewhere, i'm just so not used to those two drives being separate

anyways that is to say: i love these two disaster mob bosses and clearly that's not going anywhere, but i have found my biggest creative motivation is oc stuff now? and i hope everyone enjoys the new things i make (and I will continue to love all the pink gangster content ever)

[eilinelsghost]

📚 and 🙋‍♀️ for the fic writer asks!

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

This was honestly my dream for my entire childhood and going into college. But during that, I encountered a whole riot of family trauma that put me into severe undiagnosed depression for years and that sort of killed it for ages. Now, after probably a decade or more of not being able to write much at all, I'm remembering what it was like to have something I loved with that much fire and drive. But I'm not sure how that would play out career-wise. I'm still really afraid of losing it again and being stuck in that frozen space where everything creative feels like a dead tundra. So I really hesitate to pursue it in earnest because of that. Though if something comes of it organically, I would be absolutely overjoyed. Sorry if that was a bit of an over-share answer, but that's the most concise way I know to answer what is a hugely complex set of questions in my life!

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Ha! Yes, finally. It took me quite awhile to admit because I am hugely self-conscious about my writing in general and admitting that I'd posted some where people could actually read it was terrifying. But I did finally tell my partner I was writing (and they have been really supportive) and there are a couple other friends too. None of them know the Silmarillion well enough to read what I've written and have it make any sense whatsoever, but it's been great having a few people irl who can send cheers when I'm all giddy about getting a kind comment on one of my fics.

---

Thanks for the asks!!

[ohtobeleah]

Leah, I swear if you use that poll I just voted on for anything else, I will riot. So will everyone else who’s reading the series right now

Those polls are what drive my creativity.

[vttanon]

☆ pinned post (abt me) ☆

salutations!

i've noticed more and more people putting pertinent info about themselves in pinned posts rather than about me pages and so, in true conformist fashion, i figured i'd do the same.

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☆ you can call me vendetta or v, or make something up i don't really care as long as yr nice about it

☆ i am 18

☆ they/he/she

☆ genderqueer lesbian

☆ hellenic polytheist

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i started this blog to promote my zines, but since then it's grown beyond that-- along with my zines and art, i post a lot of writing (mostly prose and mostly queer) as well as a lot of photos/ graphics i find around the internet.

☆☆☆ things i mostly post about: -> my experience as a queer/ trans dyke -> musings on queer theory and gender theory -> punk culture (especially queer core and riot grrrl) -> feminist, punk, and queer history -> my art & creative writing -> queer solidarity -> literature -> religions (especially victorian era occultism, the hellenistic age, and christian mysticism)

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i do not care who interacts with my blog-- if i find someone truly tedious i will block them. that being said, this blog is a safe space for:

-> trans people -> queers -> transmasc lesbians -> transfem lesbians -> lesbians on t -> he/him lesbians -> transfem butches -> all lesbians (i love you) -> gender hackers, gender pirates, gender outlaws -> theory readers -> theists -> atheists -> punks

interact at your own risk. i don't use tone tags and rarely use content warnings, but i will give content warnings for:

-> graphic descriptions of suicide -> graphic descriptions of self-harm -> eating disorder/ weight talk (i try to block all accounts that talk about this but if, for some reason, it ever comes up i will give a content warning) -> graphic descriptions of abuse -> flashes/ strobes

i will not give content warnings for: -> artistic gore (i do post some body horror literary content and artistic gore art i find on the internet) -> vague/ non-graphic references to violence, nudity, or otherwise nsfw content.

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☆☆☆ my links ☆☆☆ ☆ instagram ☆ zine fest catalogue ☆ google drive folder of queer theory/ literature pdfs ☆ riot grrrl archive ☆ twitter archive of literature quotes ☆ tumblr desktop page (organised links to specific posts) ☆ digital PDFs of my zines (in case u can't receive queer mail/ don't have an address) ☆ linktree with other things from me + charities to support

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my dms are always open, as are my asks! if email works better, mine is lttrs2vtta@gmail.com

χαἰρετε! - VTTA (Vendetta)

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[musicblogwales]

Review: Lovely Ugly / Pretty Shitty (REPEAT RECORDS)

REPEAT Records are back with the 15 track compilation Lovely Ugly / Pretty Shitty. The record features current underground Swansea guitar bands, along with a couple of local legends. Upon their return to Swansea after almost 30 years away, REPEAT found it to be a more diverse, creative, vibrant and exciting place than the one they left behind. Amidst the decay of many traditional industries, imagination is running riot, with a host of venues in the city’s creative quarter continually hosting an array of artists, poets, writers and bands.

This album is a personal selection of some of the music that has inspired, enthused and excited REPEA*T since their return five years ago. The record features trailblazing upstarts including Trampolene, Monet, Swansea Sound, Rainyday Rainbow, Grey FLX and Kikker as well as boasting unreleased work from Swansea legends Helen Love, The Pooh Sticks and The DC10s.

Local legend Helen Love kicks off this mixed genre album with ‘Swansea’s Got An Our Price’, a perfect punk pop ode to former record shop Our Price. The modest queen of the Swansea indie scene talks of spending “all the money we’ve got” at the shop formerly located in Swansea town centre and how important it was to her, singing: “It was just a record shop but it changed my life. July 2nd 1985.”

The noisy, catchy and pop-punky ‘Fucked Society’ follows from Picsel, who have since evolved into Broken Fires. This track was written by accident and recorded on purpose and acts as a cathartic expression of opinion on the society we are now living in.

Baby Schillaci suddenly change the tone with ‘ULTRA HD HAPPY FACE’. It's loud, heavy and in your face, The looping drums, powerful bass and distorted guitar drive this track forward and leaves you wanting to scream out in rebellious protest. ANGHARAD takes us on a tour of her homeland with the indie pop inspired ‘Outsider’s Map of Wales’. She sings how it's “a place with funny names, but my home just the same.”

There is a more vintage and retro feel to the next few tracks. Tom Emlyn’s ‘Three Sided Coin’ is a bright, Beach Boys-like mood lifter. ‘In A Different Life’ is an organ infused jangle-pop critique of Swansea from the Heavenly and The Pooh Sticks super-group project Swansea Sound. Ian Catton’s remix of Soundwire’s ‘Degrees of Separation’ brings an ethereal mix of electronic, psychedelia and post-punk sounds. Filled with synths and echoing vocals this track is a real standout on the album.

Side two of the album starts with a bang. “I wanna go out Tory bashing, I wanna fight a fascist” are the first words of Kikker’s ‘Trash’. It's angry, visceral and inspired by injustice and inequality. Raw emotion and passion comes bursting out of the band’s vocals and music. The intensity is taken down a level with a rare 1991 single version of ‘The World is Turning On’ by 90s Swansea favourites The Pooh Sticks. The track, which featured on their 1993 album Million Seller, marks a shift away from the band’s original ‘twee’ indie-pop sound to a more American power-pop style. The BBC called The Pooh Sticks “ridiculously over-productive, stupidly catchy and archly clever.”

Swansea’s “exiled sons” Trampolene change the pace yet again with a delicate acoustic cover of Elliot Smith’s ‘Between the Bars’. Despite being a cover, the simplicity of the guitar playing and vulnerable vocals make this track another standout. ‘Thrown Hand’ is a solo recording by Egg Spectrum, soon to become a full band Rainyday Rainbow. The liquid-like soundscape created is the main feature of the track, with very little, often hard to make out vocals.

The music feels like it’s moving and is carrying you down this river of jazz and psychedelia. Grey FLX lure you in and completely surprise you with ‘Pins and Needles’. The track starts off as a quiet and intricate instrumental which rises and falls. Lyrics come in and the track builds again, getting louder before suddenly exploding with noise at the halfway mark. The screaming vocals and screeching guitars overcome everything and it is certainly a track that gets your attention.

The noise doesn’t stop there as it is Monet up next. ‘Scuff Button’ perfectly demonstrates the dichotomy of the band’s sound with elements of rhythmic post-punk to all out heavy metal. They really are one to keep an ear out for. Dead Noize are the newest band on the record and they are really making sure they’re heard. ‘Bojack Horseman’ is the third track in a row which grabs you by the throat and makes you listen. It’s noisy, distorted and energetic, fuelled by rock and metal.

Another band with cult status in Swansea, The DC10s, have the honour of closing the album with their 1980 track ‘I Can See Through Walls’. They recorded this 90 second punk pop single as teenagers and achieved a play from John Peel and an NME review before splitting up. It is a fitting conclusion to this collection of songs.

Lovely Ugly / Pretty Shitty is a 15 track love letter to Swansea music and the artists that make the city and its music scene great. There is a real blend of genres which makes the album feel a little disjointed but that is no bad thing. The compilation represents the diversity of creativity and talent that Swansea has to offer and is the perfect advert for the Swansea scene.

Two launch gigs accompany the album. The first took place on Saturday 1 June at Swansea Tangled Parrot, with Monet, ANGHARAD, and Baby Schillaci. The second will take place on Saturday 22 June at Elysium Gallery in Swansea. The show will feature Kikker, Rainyday Rainbow, Grey FLX, Soundwire, Tom Emlyn, and Dead Noize as well as sets from DJs Hue (Swansea Sound / The Pooh Sticks), Catrin (The Loves) and Peter Stone (The Sweetest Ache).

Tickets for the launch show can be found here - https://www.wegottickets.com/event/616659#tickets

The album is out now on Swansea City coloured black and white splatter vinyl, with a gatefold sleeve featuring an original painting of the city by local artist Fred Fitton.

Listen and buy here - https://repeatfanzine.bandcamp.com/album/lovely-ugly-pretty-shitty

Words: George Phillips

[daysofsamdandtime]

Day 5

Getting an early start for my full day in Cornwall, a rough plan to head down to Lands end, make my way up the coast to the Tate in St Ives and then down the other side to finish the day with a performance at the Minack Theatre - because of course.

Thankfully the drive from the Airbnb to most places is at most half an hour so I arrive at Lands End nice and early, just before the coffee shops were open. First stopping by the famous signpost and making my way up to the First & Last lookout area then heading down a bit further toward the Enys Dorman Arch. A breathtaking vista over the sea with a fresh breeze, not too cold at all which was a lovely start to the day.

My next stop was Ballowall Barrow, near Cape Cornwall. There were some old mineshafts and ruins here that uncovered some Bronze Age burial pits, and a nice walk down to Cape Cornwall as an added bonus. More lovely sea breezes here as the day continued to warm up, with the help of a decent amount of walking. Cape Cornwall was really cool with a great lookout back down to Lands End, and a Coastwatch lookout just below ‘The Stack’ atop the cape.

Then it was off to the Pendeen Lighthouse which was unfortunately closed, but I still went for a little walk around the lighthouse taking in the breeze and the scenery. I continued up to Carn Galver, an old engine house, with a walking track to Bosigran Castle Promontory Fort.

Finally arriving at The Tate St Ives, after definitely driving through the main pedestrian area of the town where I wasn’t supposed to be, was a lovely change of pace for the day. A lovely gallery with a Hockney, Matisse and Picasso and the main exhibition of Beatriz Milhazes a Brazilian artist who explored using cultural imagery with modernist painting and mixed media. The large scale pieces were striking.

St Ives is definitely the busiest town I’ve been to today, bustling with people down on the beaches and waterfront but it was a lovely walk around the harbour. I then drove down to the Minack Theatre through Mousehole.

The Minack theatre is stunning, another one dad has recommended so I hadn’t don’t much research. Walking down from the car park and seeing the theatre cascading below you is such a unique experience. The audio tour on how the theatre began and construction was really interesting, the creativity and effort that went into creating the space while working around the natural landscape is awe inspiring.

A quick drive back to Mousehole before the evening performance at the Minack was lovely, a nice walk along the waterfront by the rock pool and round to the harbour.

Back at the Minack Theatre for the evening performance of Love Riot. I was definitely the least prepared patron, most having blankets pillows and drinks of their own, but nonetheless a thoroughly enjoyable night. The show was an adaptation of a regency drama, arranged marriage, mistaken identity, and masquerade. The five actors worked hard to be multiple characters and project up to the back of the audience, however they were slightly upstaged by the natural beauty of the view and some seals popping up from time to time.

[skysensei07]

story for my Lego 2k drive AU i'm planning hehe

SPOILERS!!!

Story: Shadow Z Wins the sky cup grand prix once again. leaving the rookie forever in the dust. and Clutch's career in Jeopardy. however, that was just the start of what would come next.

a few days after winning the grand prix again. Shadow Z ends up letting his recent victory goes to his head. and it was here that he wanted more power. so, he began doing illegal activity behind the scenes. first bribing the officials for each biome in order to gain leadership of them, then acquire every business he can get his hands on. then making ridiculous demands to each of them (like promoting his image) as well as blackmailing them. then rig the rules for the sky cup grand prix to his liking. then finally giving his vehicles some upgrades (and for those who are wondering, these upgrades are also incredibly illegal). this of course, takes a major toll on all of them (Especially Racington). but using their last bit of hope, the rivals decided to give it their all to bring down shadow z once and for all. while some were successful in beating the Shadow squad, their efforts would sadly be in vain. as when they all finally got to the sky cup grand prix. each rival ended up losing one by one due to the aforementioned illegal upgrades, he had gotten which gave them an unfair advantage.

these would ultimately drive them all to the edge. and slowly, they began blaming each other which would escalate into a huge fight. this eventually extended to the denizens of Bricklandia as well, as street riots, vehicular brawls grew rapidly with each passing day. and before everyone knew it, Bricklandia had collapsed.

what used to be a land full of life, racing, adrenaline and creativity, now lied the barren landscapes of a broken world. its only safe haven being turbo acres, the former base of where Clutch racington used to be. but other than that, all three of the biomes have now become hostile areas due to the harsh environment.

the rivals on the other hand, having lost hope and driven to insanity, are now held up in their own territories. each of them becoming twisted in different ways. punishing those who even dare enter. or even worse, try to steal their checkered flags from them. that alone made bricklandia even more dangerous to live in than it already was. and to add insult to injury, Shadow Z was now living it at the top, having turned the sky cup grand prix track into a luxurious resort. he now welcomed guests with hospitality.

but of course, this is just a mask that hides his true motives. ensuring that his actions wouldn't be discovered, he also decides to cut bricklandia off from the rest of the world. all that was left of bricklandia's glory days was a rainbow brick that now powered the last few machines that were still functioning. But that alone wasn't enough to help this broken land. some people try and are still helping to rebuild what's left of bricklandia. but the Damage Z had done was nearly unfixable. almost permanent even. at this point, bricklandia had entered its dark ages. what was heaven was now hell for those who lived there. while those who lived up high in the sky resort, lived luxuriously, ignorant of what's happening underneath.

As for Vikki and Parker. needless to say, they won't doing any narration after this whole life-changing incident.

[keldjinfae]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you 💖

Just an observation, but it's interesting that I can list five things that piss me off right off the top of my head, but I have to actually think about the five things that make me happy; however, in so doing, those recollections helped improve my mood. So.

My sister. Whether one of us needs to vent, one of us needs a pep talk, or we're both holding our own personal laugh riot and other people are feeling compelled to join in, there's nobody on this earth that gets my sense of humor quite like my sister does, and the reverse is true for her.

Coffee. Not just drinking it, but the ritual-like quality in making it, getting it to taste just the way you want it to, and then sipping at it while it's fresh and hot.

All of my gardens. I plotted out different areas to bloom almost year-round outside (there's maybe one month in mid-winter when nothing is blooming, right before all of the heather along my driveway gets started), and there are several indoor plants that are mostly just here for greenery. I haven't been able to maintain them for a bit now because of circumstances, so instead I've been admiring other people's gardens when I go out on walks.

Writing. Even when it drives me crazy, I enjoy all aspects of storyboarding and making those scenes happen "on paper." I also particularly enjoy interacting with other people during the process so it all generates a mass of creative energy to fuel everything.

Music. Multiple genres, whether listening to it, singing it, or playing it on the piano, there are times when I literally can't express myself in any other way. There's something greatly satisfying in finding a song to perfectly describe either what you're feeling, or a scene you're trying to write, or represent a place or character or moment, etc.