#my cousin has tomorrow off tho. so he and i are going into the city to visit a ttrpg/game store.

[dragonanne4fun]

.

[sashkapi]

What are your headcanons regarding Kyle and Jackie? I think it’s great that they were shown as friends in that particular episode.

Furthermore, why did you decide to alter your Kick Buttowski design? I don’t mind it, in fact, I think it looks really great, but I thought the previous one was fantastic.

To anwser latter first: Mostly because I missed his giant stupid collar (affectionate). Additionally, I felt like I kinda failed to make him look older in the previous design (he is supposed to be 15-ish) and I didn't like the silhouette that much so yeah.

My previous design is still "canon" in my interpretation, tho. It's his emo phase jgjkskfkd

OH YEAH, FERAL GREMLINS HEADCANONS LES GO

(Combining the two)

1. After some time Kyle's family moved in in the Mellowbrook, much to Kick's disdain. He lives on the other side of the city and goes to a different school but his visits are much more frequent now.

2. Jackie’s parrot name is "Captain SKKBRM". The last part is composed of first letters of her idols. And yes, there is a reason S comes before K. 

3. Jackie is low-key Kyle's translator. If Kyle has to say something important he goes so far off-topic with a verbal version of "wall of text" so the important part kinda gets lost. Jackie, however, can listen to him about the time he tried to tame a raccoon and say "Oh, so tomorrow's event is gonna start an hour early! Got it!"

4. Kick did talk to them about his boundaries and they more or less respected them, which allowed both Jackie and Kyle to hang out with him more often without Kick trying to escape. They're still wacky weirdos, but at least Kick tolerates them, so there's progress. 

5. While Kick tolerates them, Gunther is actually their friend. Gunther also still thinks they're wack, but to him, they're more of a "funny kind of wack". Also, they are just as casually dramatic as Gunther, so you know they would get along.

6. They have a private weekly game of "Who got more trivia about Kick". They're neck in neck in it most of the time.

7. Kyle and Ronaldo met only once and Ronaldo’s take away from that encounter is "Buttowskis must be studied in a lab. What is wrong with this family?"

8. They are besties your honor. That's it.

9. Kyle has ADHD. He was diagnosed pretty recently, and it changed the way he is treated by his close and extended family. Whenever Kyle isn't with Jackie - Kick is just way more chill and mellow with him and would hang out with him if Kyle asks. While Brad and Brianna still don't like Kyle that much, they will give you a side eye if you try to insult him by pointing out how annoying and talkative he is. 

10. On that topic - Jackie is neurotypical. She IS just a weirdo. Her reaction to learning that Kyle has ADHD was "Who is Aydee and why are they HD? Is that a camera? DID YOU GET A CAMERA THAT CAN FINALLY CAPTURE HOW AWESOME KICK IS?!" 

After learning what ADHD is - literally nothing changed with Jackie and Kyle's friendship.

11. After a while Kyle got into sewing and knitting. It wasn't surprising for anyone. The boy loves puppets, and it was only a matter of time before he started making clothes for them. 

12. Jackie on the other hand enjoys carpentry when she's... Y'know... Not stalking Kick. She carves little puppets for Kyle sometimes too.

Yes, she did carve a wooden statue of Kick, why do you ask?

13. After Kick and Kendall started dating and Jackie started to consistently obsess over Kendall as well, Kyle was a bit worried. He really values Jackie as a friend and was afraid that their friendship is based on their obsession with his cousin, so Jackie getting a new idol made him worry.(Kyle knows Kendall and is neutral about her unlike Jackie) When it came to light, Jackie’s response to that "Dude, Kick's fan or not, you're my best friend! That's like, even better than being my idol!" 

They are weirdos and they will stick together your honor :)

14. Jackie’s dad is an absent dad. Jackie thinks that she doesn't have a dad, but it never bothers her that much. 

That is to say: her dad is a celebrity, and there's a reason Jackie’s mom really doesn't like Kick.

I love them ur honor

[whatdoesshedotothem]

: Wednesday 13 May 1835

8

11 ½

no kiss  A-‘s cousin came on Monday afternoon rainy morning F52 ½° at 9 am breakfast at 9 10 in ½ hour - Mr Harper from 10 to 2 ½ - expected Mr Freeman at 11 but he did not come - shewed Mr Harper the outbuildings - arranged about the plan of Northgate - he had brought ½ dozen designs of Lodges nicely done - one after the manner of the gate at Kirkham pleased me best - left Mr. H- a little while between 1 and 2 while he dined - he is to write to Mr. Freeman to  consult him about the stone work, and let me know by letter when he (H-) will be here again - hopes to be ready for laying the 1st stone by the 1st of next month - asked him (explaining fully what sort of persons wanted) to look out for a man for me and Sunday school mistress for A- - he seems likely enough to help us - a quick, apparently clever well mannered young man - I hope we shall al go on very well - he is a good sound blue (conservative) he and his brother, an attorney in York, will both have votes by and by for the city of York and all the 3 Ridings - about an hour with A- till 4 trying to help her to make out papers of 1630 or 40 or thereabouts - then with my father and Marian - Off at 4 40 to yew trees to see the great gin horse I bought of Briggs - much improved since Mark had him - washed him twice at 1st with ½ lb. soft soap each time and hot water to get the lice off - the horse almost starved (ill fed) to death to go to Huddersfield fair tomorrow  and be exchanged or sold, or done the best with possible - said I should be glad to take £8 or £10 for him or give about as much with him in exchange for a good stiff thing not exceeding 15 hands that would to for George to ride, or go in the gin - rained a little in going and much all the way back came in at 6 ½ - found Mr Freeman and his son who had been here about an hour and were impatient to be gone - they had wine and staid till 7 ½ - F- cannot execute the stone work - if he did, his men would not work for him! he and 2 sons cannot manage 250 men now as well he could 500 on beginning business - pays about £500 a month in wages  - the men ought to earn £800 Lord Morpeth and such men have spoilt everything - the men are the masters and the masters then men - he durst not tell them his mind now - has been busy canvassing all the last week - could hardly keep his votes together - we must all stick together or those that have anything will lose it - thinks Mr. H- a nice young man - talked about the quarry in Upper Place Land - it would not answer for me to have what I want from there - should have all the stone of one quality and colour - could not get it all there - and it would not pay to cut all into wall stones - parpoints undressed selling at Southowram at 4/6 a rood - delivered at N- (by F-) at 19/.  a

SH:7/ML/E/18/0034

rood insides and outs (i.e. 1 rood walling complete) - consulted him about letting the quarry in Upper place Land - ready to advertise anytime -  the lowest lift running itself out - but the upper lifts good stone - a great deal of stone had come out of the hole - much he found on turning to the books than he ever thought of - would give 5/. a yard for the stone - I made no observation on this - he said 6/. a yard the last time we talked of price - he advised the handbills to state that the stone should be got in a workmanlike manner - the soil to be reserved and kept separate to itself and the land to be formed again to the proprietors’ satisfaction - the stone to be measured at every hole one foot from the top of the low bed - the rent to be paid for such measurements (of stone got) every six months - to employ not less than 3 getters - to give the tenants the carting - I asked if there was not good stone under Joseph Hall’s land - yes! stone that would pay for a new house building -what wroth per yard? 4/. I merely observed that good as the stone was, it was still not worth so much as the stone in upper Place land tho’ the low lift is wearing itself out - so say there will be (in upper Place land) 2000 yards - 1500, 1200 - 500 - F- thinks there will be from 1200 to 1500 yards - changed my things (wet) - dinner at 7 ¾ - coffee and sat talking - when Clark arrived this afternoon about 6 or after - sent for him - spoke to him - well enough pleased with his appearance - told him I should leave him to A- and then went to my aunt for 40 minutes till 10 ¼ - fine day till about 5pm and afterwards rainy evening - asked Mr Harper this morning if he knew Gilpin - no! Mr Gray who did the Swiss scenery at the colosseum in London and who is much employed at Clumber Park (duke of Newcastle) is very clever - will be in York in a week or 10 days - lives in Hampstead Road, London - said if he would take here in his way to London for 5 guineas and give me his opinion of the approach road etc I should be if Mr Harper would tell him to come - Mr H- thought G- would be glad to come for a day for 5 guineas - so he is to be told to come

[slytherinbangchan]

‘📶’ Han Jisung One-Shot (Fake Boyfriend AU)

Blog’s Masterlist 

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader.

Warnings: smut

Word Count: 9.4k

This is my last post of the year. I hope you all enjoy it!

Happy New Year everyone and I wish you all the best. I’ll be back soon posting some of your requests and updating my aus.

Thank you for following me so far and I’ll keep working as hard as I can to try and make you happy with my writing.

-So you moved into your new apartment not that long ago.

-And all these college guys/girls live in that same building.

-It's a bit busy and noisy sometimes but it's ok.

-In the apartment on your right live two guys called Jisung and Hyunjin.

-You know Hyunjin's name cause honestly, who doesn't? It's weird not to hear someone mentioning him on the hallways.

-And Jisung... Well... This is kinda awkward but lets say his bedroom is right next to yours.

-First time you heard someone moaning out his name you blushed and went back to the living room.

-But now you're kinda used to it.

-Sometimes you even shush them.

-Anyway at the apartment on your left lives some guy called Seungmin and another one called Jeongin. You've knocked there more than once asking for some help with you door since sometimes it likes not to open.

-You think Seungmin is kinda nice and cute.

-Right in front of you live Minho and Felix. Bangchan has invited them over some other time.

-Oh yeah, you have a roommante called Bangchan but most of the time he's out working or hanging out with a guy called Changbin.

-Since you're 'new' in the city you don't know a lot of people yet.

-Only these girls from work who won't shut up about guys/girls and sex and you'd wish you were more interested on that but the truth is you're not.

-Like you work so hard and your anxiety is so high you don't even think about it till they bring it up.

-And you're so tired of them trying to fix you up with someone.

-You've told them to stop trying thousands of times.

-But they won't and today is not precisely your day.

-Your head hurts like hell and you just want to go back to sleep.

-'Would you meet my cousin then?' One of your friends asks.

-'What?'. You sigh as you massage your temples. 'I told you I don't wanna meet anyone'.

-'C'moon'. She whines. 'Why not?'

-'Maybe she has a boyfriend already'. The other one says and something clicks in your brain.

-'Yeah. You know what? I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but I do have a boyfriend so please? Stop trying to fix me up with your cousins'. You say as nicely as you can.

-'You should have told us! What's his name?'

-'What?'

-'Your boyfriend silly, what's his name?' She chuckles.

-'Oh... Uhmm, it's... Jisung'.

-You don't know why you said his name. Maybe cause last night someone else wouldn't stop moaning it and it printed into your head.

-Also how come you have to make up a boyfriend so people would stop trying to fix you up after you told them to stop so many times already?

-You're so mad about that fact right now but your head hurts even worse. You just want them to stop no matter how.

-Anyway.

-One of your friends is looking at you so excited. What is with her now?

-'Jisung huh? What about a picture?'

-'Yeah, show us!'

-'Oh... Yeah, maybe tomorrow I don't have pics of him here cause it's a new phone'.

-They look at you like they're not buying it but finally they let go.

-Back into your apartment you take a shower and lie down on your bed with the lights off trying to calm that headache down.

-Then you start hearing some music from one of the apartments.

-You feel like crying.

-You're so tired and you feel like your head is going to explode any minute now.

-So you stand up and go knock on Hyunjin's door.

-Jisung comes out and says hi to you.

-'Hey I'm like dying here could you not play music tonight? Please.'

-'Yeah you don't look so good'. He says.

-'Thanks'. You sigh. 'So could you?'

-He chuckles softly. 'Sure, don't worry'. He pats your head lightly and you blush.

-You go back to your apartment with your face still burning red.

-He didn't need to be cute.

-He behaves and don't play any music though.

-He even tells Hyunjin to be quiet.

-It's amazing how thin those walls are.

-You fall asleep at some point to wake up the next morning to Chan's worried face looking at you.

-'You look horrible' He says.

-'Okay?'

-'No, like seriously. I already made a call telling your boss you're sick'.

-'Oh... Thanks'.

-'You're welcome'. He says smiling a bit. 'I left some breakfast in the kitchen for you ok? I gotta go tho'.

-'Ok. I'm not leaving my bed anyway'.

-He chuckles as he leaves.

-A while later someone knocks at your door and you practically crawl there to open it.

-'Hey, I've bumped into these ladies on the elevator. They were asking for you'.

-You look at Hyunjin who's pointing at your friends from work waiting behind him.

-'Oh, okay. Thanks'.

-'It's nothing. Are you okay though? Jisung told me you weren't feeling so good last night'.

-Just as he says that Jisung opens the door to leave the apartment.

-You can see your friend's eyes fixing on him immediately.

-'Oh, Jisung I was just mentioning you'. Hyunjin says as he chuckles.

-'Ah really, why?'

-'Omg y/n is this your boyfriend?' Your friends ask. 'You said your boyfriend was some Jisung right?'

-Fuck.

-You just mentally facepalmed yourself.

-The guys look at you and you look at them. Your face so red.

-Hyunjin chuckles. 'I'm gonna go inside'. He says. 'Bye ladies'.

-But your friends are too busy waiting for your answer.

-'Uhm...'

-'What's wrong baby?' Jisung asks you. 'Just tell them'. He says as he walks towards you.

-His hand on your waist.

-'Uhm, okay... Yeah this is my boyfriend'.

-They let out some squeals. 'Omg, y/n he's cute'.

-'Yeah I thought he was ugly and that's why you didn't show us his picture'.

-You force a small laugh and suddenly feel so dizzy you almost faint.

-But Jisung holds you and carry you inside getting rid of your friends.

-He puts you to bed too.

-'I'm sorry about that'. You say not being able to open your eyes cause you got so dizzy.

-He chuckles softly. 'It's okay. They seem like a lot'.

-'They are. Always trying to fix me up with someone'. You sigh. 'I said your name when they asked for my so-called boyfriend. I'm sorry'.

-'It's okay, there's more people named like me'.

-'I guess but also I was thinking of you as I said it'.

-'What?' He asks.

-But you're so weak you just fall asleep.

-When you wake up a couple hours later you find a post it with a note on it. 'Text me when you wake up'. There's also a number written down.

-'Hey, it's y/n. I woke up'. You text him.

-'Hey girlfriend😉'.

-'Ahh... Stop it😩'

-'😂 So I'm not your fake boyfriend anymore?'

-'I don't know...'

-'I don't think your friends are just letting go'.

-'😩😩😩 I know'.

-'It's okay. I don't mind being your fake boyfriend'.

-'Really?'

-'Yeah but... You may have to do something for me in return'.

-'Uhm... What is it?'

-'Idk I'll figure it out I guess'.

-'Okay? Lol'.

-'Yeah, oh btw Hyunjin knows we're fake dating but dw he won't tell anyone'.

-'Oh, okay. Fine by me. Anyway I'm gonna go grab some food now I guess so... Bye bye~'

-'Bye😊'

-Suddenly you remember Chan left some food for you outside and you go check but you don't see anything but another post it on the fridge.

-'I'm sorry food is gonna be extra cold but I couldn't just let it outside'.

-That one is from Jisung too.

-You smile to yourself. Never thought he'd be that thoughtful before.

-You get some text from one of your friends asking how you're feeling and then to let her know when you're completely fine cause they want to go out on couples date.

-You sigh as you text Jisung about it.

-Then eat something and lie down on the couch.

-A while later someone knocks on your door again and you whine all the way there.

-You blush as you see Hyunjin leaning on the door's frame. 'Hey'. He says and you try to fix your hair a little.

-'H-Hey...'

-'How are you feeling?'

-'Ah.. Better I guess??'

-'Yeah? Would you come to a little party at our apartment tomorrow then?'

-'A party?'

-He nods. 'You're Jisung's girlfriend now, right?'

-'I thought he told you we're just...'

-'He did'. He says not letting you finish. 'But maybe you want to invite your friends here so we have everything under control'.

-'Oh... I see. Yeah'.

-He chuckles softly and your heart flutters a little. 'Well, see you tomorrow then'.

-You nod as you close the door.

-Why didn't Jisung just texted you that?? You look at your phone.

-Oh. He did.

-Anyway.

-Damn Hyunjin. Why did he had to come and see you like that again?

-Not that you like him or anything he's just too handsome.

-You feel bad looking that ugly in front of him.

-You text your friends about the party.

-Also you think about if you should tell Bangchan or not about the fake-dating thingy.

-He probably would think is weird you're dating Jisung for real after all your complainings about the noise.

-Maybe not. Maybe he doesn't even care about it.

-And you don't want a lot of people to know the truth just in case so...

-He doesn't come back till very late at night anyway and you're already pretty much tucked into bed by then so you won't tell him tonight at least.

-You text Jisung as you hear Bangchan trying to get some food before sleeping.

-'Hey, no girl tonight?'

-'Got a girlfriend now🙄'.

-'Not a real one😂'.

-'People don't know that😂'

-'Oh, so you're a nice guy huh?😏'

-'Of course I am😂'.

-You chuckle softly as you read his texts.

-'How are you feeling? Hyunjin said you look better'. He says.

-'Ah, really? I guess I am feeling better'.

-'You're coming to the party then, right?'

-'Already told my friends and everything'.

-'😂 Nice'.

-'Who throws a party in such small apartment anyway?'

-'Lol well, it's not exactly a party just some friends drinking at home while listening to music'.

-'So... A party?'

-'😂 Ok, maybe a very tiny party'.

-You chuckle again.

-'Ahh sorry, wifi is failing a lot. Guess I'll try to sleep now'.

-'K~ Good night then, girlfriend'.

-'😂😂Night~'

-You sleep for what it feels like an eternity and when you wake up you feel so much better.

-Thank god it's Saturday but then again you have to go to a party and pretend Jisung is your boyfriend.

-Could be fun though, right? Why not?

-It's been a while since you had actual fun with other people.

-So as the day goes by you start to feel like actually trying and put on a dress and some makeup.

-Hair looking good too.

-No one would say you were feeling like dying just yesterday.

-Chan looking at you as he hears your heels on the floor.

-'Hey, you're going to the neighbors?' He asks.

-'Yeah'.

-'To see your boyfriend?'.

-How does he know already?

-'What?'

-'I'm just kidding'. He chuckles. 'I always thought you had a crush on Hyunjin'.

-'What? I don't'. You laugh softly. 'He's just like so handsome I maybe can't stop looking at him but that's it'.

-'I see' He chuckles. 'Ah I heard Felix and some of the other guys are going to that party too'.

-'And you?'

-'Me? Nah. I gotta finish some stuff with Changbin. He'll be here any minute'.

-'Are you dating Changbin?'

-He chuckles as he playfully raises his eyebrows.

-'What does that mean?' You ask as you chuckle.

-Then someone knocks on your door.

-It's your friends and their partners.

-'Hey, it's too early? It is too early right?' One of them asks.

-You laugh. 'Yeah, I don't know. I think there's people there already'. You say. 'Hey Chan can I leave my phone etc... here? Would you open the door for me later?'

-'I'm not promising I will'.

-You roll your eyes at him. 'I'll take the keys'.

-'Love you!' He says as you close the door after you.

-'That's your roommate? He's kinda cute too'. One of your friends says.

-You smile at her words as you knock at the guys door and Jisung opens it.

-'Hey'. You say, caressing his face.

-'Hi girlfriend'. He says, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

-He smells so good.

-And what's with the skinship?

-You don't know when you got so close but?

-Well guess it's all part of the fake-dating thing but in any case you feel really comfortable around him already.

-He puts a drink in your hands as he winks at you.

-Hyunjin is sitting on one of the sofas with Felix and Minho and some girls you don't know.

-Jisung's hand on your waist as you distractedly try to follow the conversation. 'You look good'. He whispers in your ear and you blush lightly.

-'Thanks. You don't look bad yourself'.

-He chuckles. 'Thanks'.

-'Anyway, what is this party about really?' You ask.

-He srughs. 'Anything I guess. We just wanted to meet with some friends and drink'.

-'Well my friends seem happy so I won't complain'.

-He giggles. 'They seem to like the drinks at least'.

-'I think they just get kinda bored with their partners sometimes so they drink'. You joke.

-'Wow, we'll have to break up if we ever get that bored then'. He says and you chuckle.

-'Yeah I promise'.

-Someone knocks on the door. 'Oh, I'll get that'. You say as you hand your drink to Jisung and go get the door.

-'Oh, hi'. Seungmin says.

-'Hey! Didn't know you were coming'.

-'Yeah, same. Didn't expect you here'.

-'Right... I'm kinda dating Jisung now'. You chuckle.

-'Really??' He tilts his head as he looks at you head to toe. 'Thats a pity'.

-You throw a confused look at him but he just go say hi to the rest  kinda ignoring you.

-Jisung walks towards you and gives your drink back. 'Do you like Seungmin?'.

-'He's cute'. You say as you sip your drink.

-'I could help you dating him when we break up if you want to'.

-'Really? I don't know I guess I'll be the same amount of anxious then and that's the reason I'm not dating anyone now'.

-'Well, at least you actually like this guy unlike your friend's cousins'. He laughs. ‘Worth trying’.

-You chuckle too. 'Yeah I guess so. I don't know. Let me think about it'.

-The rest of the night goes nicely.

-You sit on Jisung's lap as you all keep chatting and drinking.

-And you get to know him a bit better.

-It's kinda weird how natural actually feels to be on his arms.

-He's just such a warm person.

-You feel safe with him somehow.

-Suddenly you feel his forehead resting against your back and you turn around a little to try and look at him. 'What are you doing?' You ask, chuckling.

-'Sorry I'm so sleepy and drunk'.

-'Go to bed, idiot'.

-'There's too many people here I can't'. He chuckles too.

-'Hmm... Should we go to my apartment then?'

-'What?' He giggles.

-'You just want to sleep right? I know you don't like me like ''that'' '.

-He scoffs but doesn't say a word just pats your thigh a little so you'll stand up.

-You smile at him and hold his hand to leave.

-Hyunjin looks at you two with a confused face as you walk out the door.

-As you walk to you apartment you realize you're a little bit more drunk than you thought.

-Jisung and you chuckle as both of you hardly manage to reach the door without tripping.

-'C'mon open the door already'. Jisung laughs.

-You chuckle. 'I'm tryiiing'.

-Suddenly the door opens and you see Chan standing right in front of you. 'What is happening?' He asks.

-Jisung and you burst off laughing. 'Dad! You did opened the door for me'. You say as you laugh.

-'Omg y/n you're an adult'. Chan laughs.

-'Yeah, so get off my case idiot'.

-'Whatever'. He laughs again.

-'Oh, hey Changbin'. You say as you see him sitting on the couch. He waves at you.

-You enter your room followed by Jisung and clumsily take off your heels and try to unzip your dress.

-'Could you help me with this?' You ask him and he scoffs as he smiles.

-'Sure'. He says as he zips down the dress. 'I didn't know you were like this'. He says.

-'Like what?'

-'I don't know. Not that serious I guess'.

-'Oh... Well, you see, tonight I'm drunk and not having a headache so...'

-'Fair enough'.

-'Oh you didn't bring your pjs'. You say.

-'Ah, it's okay'.

-You put on an oversized shirt as he sits on the bed.

-Then you push him so he'll get under the covers.

-'Take those pants off idiot or you won't be able to sleep'.

-He laughs but does as you say.

-Then you curl up into him.

-'Ugh I'm so drunk the bed is spinning'. He says.

-'Me too'. You snuggle into him a little more. 'Ah, you smell so nice'.

-He smiles. 'Thanks, you too'.

-'Good night Sungie'. You say, leaving a kiss on his cheek.

-'Yeah... Night~'.

------------------------

-'So, Jisung huh?'. Bangchan asks as you prepare some tea in the morning. 'You sure are more quiet that the others'.

-'That's probably cause we were just sleeping'.

-'What? Really? Why did you bring him here then?'

-'I don't know... We were tired and there was a lot of people at his apartment so... Anyway we were too drunk to do anything'.

-'Hm... Yeah he looked terrible when he left earlier'.

-'I don't feel so good myself I'm gonna take a shower after my tea'. You say as you sit. Your phone chimes then.

-'I had fun last night. Wanna come by and watch some movies with me and Hyunjin as we suffer from hangover together?😪'

-You smile to yourself as you read his text.

-'😂 Yeah, why not. Let me take a shower first tho'.

-Like half an hour later you're all tucked in a blanket with those two.

-You had never noticed how tall and big in general Hyunjin is till now that you have him right besides you.

-His hair still wet from the shower. It's dripping some water over his own face which he dries with the towel on his neck.

-He leaves for a second to grab some food and you follow him with your eyes.

-'Thought you liked Seungmin'. Jisung says.

-'What?' You blush. 'I do'.

-'Really? You looked so mesmerized as you watched Hyunjin just now'.

-'That's... His hair was soaking I was watching the water drop'.

-'Sure'. He says with a half smile.

-'Huh... Are you jealous, boyfriend?' You say as you elbow him softly.

-He scoffs. 'You wish'.

-'Sounds jealous to me'. You chuckle.

-Hyunjin is back with some snacks.

-He plays the movie and you don't mention the jealous thingy again.

-That doesn't mean you're letting go.

-Even if you think Hyunjin will never ever put his eyes on you, that's not really necessary to prove your point right?

-So after a while you just lean over Hyunjin's side a bit. Jisung notices but he doesn't seem to care.

-'Are you okay?' Hyunjin asks.

-'Sorry my head hurts a bit. Do you mind if I lean on you for a while?' You ask.

-'Ah, sure. As long as you need'. He says.

-You lean your head on his shoulder and kinda hug his arm.

-He's blushing and you can tell he's kinda nervous.

-Cute.

-Jisung scoffs softly from the other side of the couch and you smile to yourself.

-After a little while you feel how something is pulling from one of your arms. Taking it away from the hold you had on Hyunjin's.

-You look at Jisung with a satisfied smile on your face.

-'Shut up'. He says as he laces his fingers with yours.

-You chuckle softly as you rest your head on Hyunjin's shoulder again.

-Your thumb caressing Jisung's hand as he holds yours.

-And you feel some kind of butterflies as you feel the warmth of his hand on your hand.

-When the movie is over you just don't wanna move but you have to.

-'Do you guys wanna watch another movie or.. some... wine? For our hungover?' Hyunjin asks.

-'Wine sounds good'. You and Jisung say almost at the same time.

-Hyunjin scoffs amused at your synchronization and goes find the wine.

-This time there's no talking between you and Jisung. But he's not letting your hand go either till Hyunjin is back with the wine.

-You take the cup Hyunjin poured for you and take a sip.

-They play another movie but nobody is watching.

-You're just chatting and laughing.

-Your legs over Jisung's after the second bottle is gone.

-His hands running up your thigh keeping just the right distance.

-'Ok, ok. Can I ask something tho?' Hyunjin says, but he can't stop chuckling before asking.

-'What is iiit?' You ask as you hit his arm softly.

-'Why Jisung?' He laughs again.

-'Why Jisung what?' You ask.

-'Why did you say Jisung's name to your friends instead of mine?'

-Jisung just chuckles as he waits for an answer too.

-You blush, but you were already blushing cause of the wine. 'Why would you ask me that in front of him?' You say playfully hitting him again.

-What a drunk mess you three are right now.

-'C'mon tell us'. Jisung says. 'I'm curious too'.

-'Ah... It's kinda embarrassing'.

-'Ohh, you like Sungieee'. Hyunjin sings.

-'What? Is not that'. You laugh.

-'Then what is it?' He insist.

-'Ahh stop iiiit. It really is embarrassing to say it outloud'. You chuckle again.

-'Leave her alone Hyunjinnie. I'm sure she'll tell me sometime'.

-'Hm...' He makes a pouty face. 'Well, you said you don't like him... Then kiss me'.

-'What?' Jisung asks.

-You're just laughing at what he just asked.

-'She's pretty and we're drunk. I want a kiss. C'mon is not that serious. We're just playing around'. He says as he chuckles.

-Is really Hwang Hyunjin asking you for a kiss right now?

-Jisung scoffs. 'Whatever you two just kiss if you want'.

-Hyunjin srughs and leans over you to kiss.

-His lips colliding with yours without waiting any longer. And you thought it'd be just a quick peck but he goes for it for real and he's such a good kisser.

-He pulls away and looks at Jisung. 'Omg. She's the best kisser ever Sungie. You should ask for a kiss too'.

-Jisung scoffs. 'I'm going to bed'. He says as he leaves his cup on the table.

-You look at Hyunjin with a worried face but he looks as confused as you.

-'Uhm... Don't worry he'll be okay tomorrow. I'm sure he's just super drunk'.

-You nod and help him clean up a bit. The alcohol in your body making it so difficult to move properly but the happy feeling was long gone.

-What's with Jisung?

-You were all having so much fun.

-He should have just asked you to kiss him too and that's it.

-You go back to your apartment and get into bed.

-You hit the wall behind you in bed cause you're kinda mad at Jisung for leaving like that and you want him to know.

-Then you hear something.

-You stumble as you kneel in bed to lean over the wall so you can hear better.

-Is Jisung calling your name?

-You blush as you recognize his moans through the wall.

-He's calling your name as he whines.

-He knows you can hear him you've joked about it a couple times before.

-You feel the heat on your lower body as his cute whines fill your ears.

-You bite your lips as you doubt for a second then you run over Jisung's apartment.

-Your knocks on his door. So needy.

-He opens the door to find you wearing literally just an oversize shirt on.

-You look down and bite your lips as you notice his boner.

-Your hand palming him over his pants. 'What is this about?'

-He gives you a half smile. 'I don't know. I think I was mad at my girlfriend and then I wasn't anymore'.

-You bite his lower lip. 'Next time ask for your kiss'. Your body so close to his.

-He pulls you even closer and finally kisses you.

-Then you both walk to his room without breaking the kiss.

-You push him on his bed and climb over him.

-Biting him everywhere. Kissing him like no one ever has kissed him before.

-You take his joggers off.

-His hard dick hitting his own body as you do so.

-And you're so wet already.

-Is like you've been waiting to do this for so long even when all this started just two days ago.

-He doesn't waste any time and just grabs a condom from the nightstand.

-And you just ride him.

-So hard.

-There's nothing holding you back.

-And this time you can hear his moans directly in your ears.

-His hands grasping at your butt as he helps you with the pace.

-And you're so into it. So wet for him.

-You can feel your orgasm building already.

-You bite your  lips not to moan out loud but he wants to hear you, he wants to be praised.

-'I wanna hear your voice baby'. He says. 'Let me hear your beautiful voice moaning out my name'.

-And he's making you feel so good you wouldn't deny him anything.

-You moan out his name as you reach your high.

-He hisses. His fingers going deeper on your skin as he cums.

-He's drooling. His chest going up and down as he tries to catch up his breath.

-You chuckle as you see his fucked up face and kiss him. 'You're so good Sungie. That was amazing'. You say, making him smile. His fingers running down your hair.

-He kisses you again and then you shift to sit next to him.

-His hand resting on your lower back.

-You sigh after a while. 'Guess I should go back and get some sleep before going to work'.

-'Yeah, cause this isn't a bed. It's a pool and you can't sleep in pools'.

-You chuckle as you stand up. Still a bit dizzy cause the wine.

-'You know I came here only in this shirt right? I don't want to go back to my apartment in the morning like this. The guys are always in the hallways'.

-He chuckles too. 'Right'.

-There's a brief silence where you just look at eachother for a second.

-'Let's watch some movies tomorrow too'. You say.

-'Sure'.

-'Well, I really should go now... Bye then Sungie'. You say as you wave him goodbye.

-'Wait, I want a kiss'. He says as he lightly pokes his lips.

-You chuckle softly but kiss him. 'Sleep well you idiot'.

-'I totally will'.

-------------------------------------

-Next morning goes by so quickly.

-You barely slept but at least you're in a good mood.

-Work hours fly.

-Soon you're at your apartment humming some song as you get out the shower.

-'So, Jisung huh?' Bangchan says as you walk to your room. 'I take back the quiet thing. You two were l o u d last night'.

-'I don't know what you're talking about'. You say trying not to blush at his words.

-He chuckles. 'Yeah sure. Hyunjin was so surprised this morning when I run into him that he told me'.

-'Told you what?'

-'He went all like 'dude Jisung told me they were just fake dating but that didn't sound fake at all'.

-'Oh god he did told you'.

-'Yeah, he thought I already knew since we're roomates like them'.

-'Are you mad I didn't tell you? I didn't wanna risk more people knowing'.

-'No, I get it but... Jisung? I guess your friends bought it cause they don't know him'.

-'What do you mean?'

-'Like, c'mon you share a wall with him. He never brings the same girl twice'.

-'So?'

-He sighs. 'You know Seungmin right? He didn't buy it at all and he's telling everyone what he thinks about it'.

-'Whatever, let him say what he wants'.

-'Well if you don't want anyone else to find out maybe you should prepare some kind of break up before this gets any further. Just an idea'. He says. 'Or maybe you could come clean with your work friends'.

-Stupid Bangchan. Why can't he just let you be happy for a while?

-'I'll think about it. But the whole idea was to avoid them to fix me with someone else'. You say.

-'Anyway what was last night about?'

-'I don't know... Guess we were just drunk'.

-'Is that so?'

-'You said yourself he's not the kind of guy to get in serious relationships. Why do I have to think about it that much anyway?'

-'I'm pretty sure you've already thought about it'.

-'Well I haven't. I honestly think he doesn't like me like that. We were joking around about him being jealous but... It can't be. He was probably just horny last night and we get along well that's why he...'

-'He what?'

-You blush as you remember how you heard Jisung through the walls moaning your name last night.

-'Nothing'.

-Chan chuckles. 'Definitively not nothing but ok'.

-You nod still blushing and keep looking for an outfit in your drawers.

-He laughs. 'Ugh, it's so weird seeing you like this. At least promise me you'll let me know if something happens. Good or bad okay?' He says before leaving your room so you can get dressed.

-'I will'.

-Hyunjin opens the door for you today.

-'Hi, you look nice'. He says.

-'Thanks, you too'.

-He chuckles. 'Thanks. Jisung is in the shower. Let's sit'.

-'Oh, okay'.

-You think it's gonna be awkward cause you kissed last night and then he said you're a good kisser etc...

-But it's not.

-He just talks to you like nothing happened.

-'Hey, are you dating Jisung for real now?' He suddenly asks. 'He won't tell me'.

-'Ah...'

-'Hey, you're here already'. Jisung says as he dries his hair with a towel. Rescuing you from Hyunjin's question.

-'Fuck off Jisung'. Hyunjin says as he chuckles. 'We were talking about something'

-'Oh, were you? I didn't notice. But I'm here now so it'll have to wait'.

-Hyunjin sighs. 'I'll go find some popcorn for the movie'.

-Jisung chuckles as he walks towards you. 'Hey'. He says, softly.

-'Hey'. You say, same way.

-'Were you able to get some rest before work?' He asks.

-'Yeah, kinda'.

-'I skipped classes and slept the morning away'. He chuckles.

-'Wow, responsible'. You chuckle too.

-'Ugh are you gonna kiss or something?' Hyunjin asks as he stands before you two.

-'Shut up'. You laugh as you kick him lightly. 'What are you doing with that?' You ask looking at the bottle of wine he's holding.

-'Thought today we could just save time and start drinking early'.

-'Will my liver survive getting to know you two?'

-'It's just wine'. Hyunjin says as he pours some on the glasses.

-You hear the door and Hyunjin goes to see who it is but you can't see from the couch.

-'Hey, it's Seungmin'. Jinnie tells you. You can hear him inviting the other one to stay.

-'Are you drinking wine this early in the day?' He asks as soon as he's in front of you.

-You can't really read Jisung right now and it feels weird not being able to but you decide to just ignore that fact.

-Seungmin sits by your side, taking Hyunjin's place.

-Jinnie pouts knowing he'll have to sit alone in the floor but doesn't say anything.

-'Hey what about if we play a game instead of watching the movie?' Seungmin asks.

-'Not a kissing game'. Jisung complains.

-'You're so boring Jisung, really'. Seungmin says.

-'What? I don't wanna kiss my roommate'.

-'So you'd kiss me?'

-'If I have to...'

-You laugh as you see them arguing about it for a while.

-'I wouldn't mind kissing y/n again'. Hyunjin says interrupting the other two.

-'Again?' Seungmin asks. 'When did you kiss her?'

-'Well, yesterday'.

-'Omg, Hyunjin seriously?' Jisung says.

-'What?? You were there. You knew??'

-'Why would you kiss Jisung's girlfriend? In front of him?' Seungmin asks.

-'Ohhhh....' Hyunjin says realizing the problem with what he said a minute ago.

-You just laugh.

-'What is going on?' He asks again. 'Jisung you don't mind Hyunjin kissing her? Can I kiss her then?'

-Jisung looks at you not knowing what to say.

-'Why would you ask him if you can kiss me?' You ask. 'I'm the one you want to kiss'.

-'Right'. Seungmin says. 'Can I kiss you?'

-This guy.

-'Nope. I've got a boyfriend'. You say, smiling at him.

-'Do you really?'

-'What does that mean?' Jisung asks. 'I'm right here'.

-Seungmin looks at him for a moment and then back at you. 'If you happen to break up with this boyfriend of yours, call me. I'll take you out on a real date'.

-You all look at him in silence cause none of you knows what to say.

-He stands up. 'I'm gonna go. I don't like this movie anyway'. He says, then he leaves.

-'What's with him?' Hyunjin asks as he chuckles. 'y/n you really are stealing every guy's heart around here huh'.

-'What other heart have I stolen?' You laugh and he blushes.

-'Ah, I don't know... I just said that'.

-'Well, Chan told me Seungmin was suspecting about us being fake and that we should break up before my friends find out too. But I don't really think he's gonna do much with something he thinks he knows'. You laugh.

-Jisung sighs and gulps down his wine.

-'Anyway, let's watch the movie'. Hyunjin says.

-This time you curl up into Jisung after a while drinking.

-He softly kisses the top of your head as he caress your shoulder.

-His body so warm and cozy.

-Your head resting on the crook of his neck now.

-You leave a kiss there, fighting yourself with all you have not to bite him or go for his lips.

-And he seems to be having some kind of internal fight too.

-Hyunjin disappears for a moment to go to the bathroom or something. You didn't really heard what he said about it. Then you talk to Jisung.

-'Sorry. I guess I'm being too much right now'. You say as you move away a little.

-'Do you still like Seungmin?' He asks right away.

-You don't know what to say.

-'I guess? He's cute but...'

-'Okay'. He says. 'I'm sorry, come here. I'm still your boyfriend for tonight'. He says as he opens his arms to take you in.

-You don't understand what is going on inside his head but also you're kinda drunk to stop and analyze his words.

-Honestly you can only think about kissing him.

-So you do kiss him once before Hyunjin comes back.

-And he didn't expect it but he's not going to pull away either.

-Hyunjin steps aproaches and you stop to look at Jisung's eyes. Then you leave a couple pecks on his lips.

-'Oh, so you're kissing without me now'. Hyunjin says.

-'Hyunjin just shut up'. Jisung says. Then you all go back to watch the movie and drink the rest of the wine.

-You stop before opening a third bottle.

-You sigh. 'I'm not gonna drink anymore. I have work in the morning'. You say, leaving your cup in the table and going back to Jisung's arms.

-'Yeah, guess I should try to sleep too and actually go to one of my morning classes'. Hyunjin says.

-You chuckle. 'Good idea'.

-'Night then guys'. He says as he takes his cup to his room to finish it there.

-You look up to see Jisung's face so close to yours and he looks down to meet your eyes. 'Don't you have morning classes'. You ask.

-'Maybe'. He says, then he kisses you. 'Don't really feel like going anywhere right now though'.

-You scoff softly and kiss him again.

-One of your legs over his lap now, his hand on your thigh.

-And the last thing you want to do is going back home.

-'Can I stay tonight?' You ask with a soft voice.

-He smiles and pecks your lips. 'You can stay'. He caresses your face. 'Let's go to bed'.

-You follow him to his room. 'Can I borrow a shirt or something to sleep in'.

-'Sure. Take whatever you need from that drawer'. He says pointing to the one besides you.

-You put in a plain black tshirt and get into bed. 'Oh, you're taking off your hoodie? Gimmiee please. It's cold'.

-He chuckles and hands you his hoodie.

-And ah, it smells so good.

-It has Jisung's aroma all over.

-You feel some butterflies as you put it on.

-'You look cute in my clothes'. He says.

-'Thanks. Now come here'. You say opening your arms for him.

-He gets into bed and the kisses start all over again till you're so sleepy.

-'I'm calling in sick tomorrow'. You say. 'I don't want to leave this bed'.

-He puts away a lock of hair from your face. 'Yeah, me too. Let's just sleep forever tomorrow'.

-His husky sleepy voice.

-You fall asleep soon after that.

-And then a couple hours later you wake up suddenly.

-Stupid anxiety.

-You look at your side to find Jisung sleeping so peacefully.

-So you snuggle into him and he hugs you back in his sleep.

-Cute.

-Next time you wake up it's still dark but it won't be for a very long time.

-You try to fall asleep again but then Jisung starts to whine softly.

-You're worried at first but then you see his hand moving to his crotch in his sleep, then you notice his boner.

-You chuckle softly and leave some kisses on his neck and cheek.

-'Jisung sweetie'. You call him. 'Baby wake up'.

-He slowly opens his eyes and looks at you. 'Hey'. He says. His voice SO husky. 'I was dreaming about you just now'.

-You chuckle. 'Yeah? And does that have anything to do with this?' You say as your hand runs to his hard cock.

-He smiles and stretches a little. 'Maybe'.

-You scoff and kiss him softly for a while.

-'I don't think it's going down'. He says between kisses.

-'Yeah I figured'. You say, then you lie in bed and take your underwear off. 'So come here'.

-He lets out a half smile as he makes some room for himself between your legs.

-A tiny soft moan leaving your mouth as he enters you slowly.

-He kisses you before starting moving.

-He hardly stops kissing you actually.

-You're surrounded by his aroma as he fucks you while you wear his own hoodie.

-And his movements are so soft.

-Nothing to do with the other night.

-But you're both just so sleepy.

-The sound of his grunts and little soft noises on your ears.

-You kiss and bite his neck and he hisses.

-And you can't help but to moan softly as he thrust into you.

-Your cheeks blushing knowing everyone is sleeping and there's so much silence.

-Ah.. Hyunjin... Bangchan too... They probably just heard you.

-Jisung smiles as he notices you biting your lips not to moan outloud.

-He shifts the position a bit and now he's hitting your g-spot perfectly.

-'Fuck'. You moan out and you can feel his dick getting harder.

-He lets out a grunt.

-His forehead resting on yours before kissing you briefly.

-The warmth of his body against yours.

-And you like everything he's doing right now so much.

-You're dripping.

-Your hips moving as he pounds into you.

-He quickens the pace and your orgasm starts building.

-You moan his name out showering him with praise.

-And he just loves that.

-You reach your high filling the room with moans and he cums as he watches you melting under him.

-Your phone chimes and after a while you sit up to check on it.

-'Wow, just wow y/n'. That's Chan texting. You laugh as you see his text but kinda blush.

-'Who is it?' Jisung asks.

-'I think we woke Chan up'.

-He chuckles and pulls from your arm so you'd fall on his chest. 'Guess we did huh?' Then he kisses your nose.

-So much lazy kissing after that.

-And you don't want to think too much about it.

-But you can't help doing it.

-Cause it feels just so good lying there just kissing and chatting about every kind of stuff.

-And you don't know how much of this is real or just a part of the fake boyfriend thing that went too far but still just a 'fake' thing.

-It feels so real though.

-Maybe it's just you wishing it being that way.

-Ugh how could you fall into this?

-Your anxiety is laughing at you so hard right now knowing what is coming.

-'Hey, are you okay?' He asks.

-'Huh? Yeah...'

-'You looked so serious just now'. He seems kinda worried.

-'Sorry. I remembered something about work'. You lie.

-'Oh... You have to go?' He sits up.

-'Not really... Do you... Want me to go?' You ask sitting up too.

-'No'.

-'Okay'. You chuckle.

-'Sorry, too serious?' He smiles.

-'Yeah, kinda'. You laugh.

-'Well that's cause I really don't want you to go'. He says coming closer to you. He's waiting for a kiss so you peck his lips.

-'Let's get some breakfast'. He says as he gets out of bed.

-You take a quick shower and meet him again outside to walk to a coffee shop.

-'You sure you're okay just with some coffee and toast?' You ask him.

-'Yeah, it's fine'.

-'Ah, shit I forgot something. Sorry. Wait for me just a minute'. You say as you run upstairs.

-As you come back to Jisung you see him talking to Seungmin but they don't see you.

-'Dude, seriously. Are you dating her for real or not?' He asks.

-Jisung sighs. 'Why are you so interested?'

-'You know exactly why'.

-He scoffs. 'Look, I'm just...'

-'Hey'. You say interrumpting them. 'Sorry for making you wait'.

-'It's okay'. He says.

-'Hi, Seungmin'. You say, then you look back at Jisung. 'Should we get going?'

-'Sure'.

-You hold his hand and start walking again.

-You're shaking so he squeezes your hand lightly and you calm down a little.

-Why didn't you let him finish?

-You had no clue of what he was going to tell Seungmin and still couldn't stand the idea of him saying something remotely close to 'I'm just her fake boyfriend and nothing else'.

-Which by the way it's the only ending to what he was saying that your brain can come up with right now.

-But he wouldn't tell him about your deal like that right?

-He would ask you if it was okay for him to tell Seungmin about it.

-Right?

-'Jisung... What did Seungmin want?' You ask without looking at him.

-'Ah... Nothing he was asking again about us'.

-'What did you tell him?'

-'Jisung?' That's another girl asking. She was inside a store but now she's walking towards you two. 'What the fuck? Who's this?'. She asks.

-'Fuck.. This girl...' He mouths under his breath before she gets there. 'Hey, how have you been?' He asks her.

-'What do you mean? I've been pissed since yesterday'.

-'What?' He looks confused but the girl seems pretty mad.

-'You texted me to meet on the same spot we always met and you didn't appear'.

-'Wait, what? No I didn't'. He looks at you. 'Y/n I didn't. I swear'.

-You let his hand go but don't say anything.

-'Then what is this?' The girl asks showing you both the texts.

-'What the fuck I didn't write those'. He says as he holds the phone to read them better.

-You feel your heart crush. 'I gotta go'. You say as you walk away as fast as you can.

-'y/n wait'. He gives the phone back to the other girl and runs after you. 'y/n I didn't write those I swear'.

-'Leave me alone. I'm so stupid'. You say. Tears falling but you're mad.

-'Don't go just... Please'.

-You stop and turn around to talk to him. 'You know, I think this game of us went too far'.

-'What?' He frowns.

-'We should break up'. More tears falling. 'Then you'll be free to go back to bring girls to your apartment and make them scream your stupid name'.

-He scoffs. 'C'mon...'

-'Is that why you did all this?' You ask him. 'You were needy but couldn't call other girls cause what the others would say about you 'cheating on me' and you thought well, why not? I'll just fuck my fake girlfriend'.

-What

-Are

-You

-Talking about?

-You're the first person to know that's not true at all.

-He looks at you. 'You really think so?'  He asks.

-'I...'

-He seems hurt.

-'Fuck you'. He says. Then he walks away.

-And it hurts so much.

-Just seeing him go.

-But you feel betrayed.

-You saw the texts.

-You had your doubts before about what you meant for him and now your insecurities sky rocketed.

-And even if deep down you feel everything that happened between you two was real.

-Right now you're blinded by your insecurities and how much it hurt to see those texts.

-Your phone chimes after you've walked around the block for a while.

-Bet is Chan.

-But you don't want to go back just yet.

-You're not ready for his questions or meeting any of the guys in the hallways.

-You sit on a bench in a park and finally check the text.

-It's Hyunjin.

-'y/n Jisung told me what happened I'm so sorry but it's my fault. Can you come by when you're back and I'll explain please'.

-'I don't want to go back. I'm at the park'.

-A while later Hyunjin is sitting right besides you.

-'I shouldn't have told you where I was'. You say.

-'Look, I know what it looks like and I'd be mad too but listen to me please'. He begs. He really looks guilty. 'I was texting this girl and you know how Jisung and I went to buy our phones together and...'

-'Are you going to tell me you can't tell your phone from Jisung's? How about the lockscreen and the background picture?'

-'Yeah I know but we're always changing those to eachother as a joke'. He lets out a frustrated sigh. 'Look I realize how much this sounds like bullshit but I swear it's true'. He takes out his phone. 'See? This is the girl I was talking to. It's not the same one you met today but their names are the same and I dated this one and Jisung dated the other one'.

-'But...'

-'Yeah, I texted that one thinking it was the one I was originally texting to cause their names are the same and didn't realize it wasn't my phone cause I was so drunk'.

-You look at him in silence for a while.

-'y/n please I swear. If it wasn't really my fault I wouldn't even bother on talking to you. I would just tell Jisung to fuck off for being a dick and then I'd be a dick myself and try to hit on you after you broke up with him so please?'

-You try to keep a serious face but you chuckle at that last part. 'Ok, I believe you'. You say and he sighs relieved. 'Still I said some mean stuff. I don't think he'll forgive me that easily'.

-'I know but you have to talk to him'.

-'Yeah, I know... I'll try... But... He won't care... We were just fake dating anyway'

-He lets out an annoyed grunt. 'Oh god, I swear you two are the same amount of stupid. I'm leaving'.

-'Sorry'.

-Hyunjin sighs once more and stands up. 'It’s okay. See you later I hope'. He says and you nod as he leaves.

-You're planning to go back home at some point but you just can't leave that bench.

-Your chest hurts with anxiety.

-You really fucked up huh?

-Jisung must hate you for real.

-You texted him you were sorry a while ago and he left you on read.

-The morning goes by and you're still there.

-There's no need to eat right now since you feel like shit and your stomach is just a ball of anxiety.

-You go for a tiny walk in the park and spend some time in a coffee shop but then you're back on that bench.

-Before you can notice it's already night and still you haven't been able to leave that park.

-Then it starts to pour and you scoff as you laugh at yourself.

-Do you even deserve that rain?

-Knowing how much you love it.

-You look up and let the raindrops fall all over you as you close your eyes.

-And it feels somehow healing.

-Even if people look at you as they run away from the rain.

-They may think you're crazy.

-Your phone has been chiming for a while but you're too afraid to check.

-Your hair all drenched after some minutes under that rain.

-But now with your eyes closed and the sound of the raindrops it's the only time in the whole day you're feeling some kind of peace.

-Suddenly you stop feeling the rain in your skin and hear the sound of it hitting an umbrella over your head instead.

-You open your eyes slowly to see a guy's figure in front of you.

-Then slowly look up to see his face.

-You feel your eyes filling with tears as you see Chan's worried look.

-'Channie'. You hug him as you break into tears inconsolably. 'I fucked up'.

-He pats your back. 'It's okay, let's go home'. He says as he holds your hand so you'd walk with him.

-You're still so afraid to go back and see Jisung around.

-But Bangchan makes you feel safer as he talks to you.

-You are about to finally leave the park when you see a guy waiting under an umbrella.

-You stop for a moment before keep walking and he raises the umbrella a bit so you can see his face.

-Bangchan scoffs softly. 'If you were going to come anyway why didn't you tell me?' He asks him. 'I would have stayed home'.

-'It was a last minute decision'. He says.

-Your heart has stopped for a moment.

-Bangchan sighs. 'Anyway. I'm leaving then. Is that okay?' He asks you and you nod.

-You can feel the rain in your skin again as he walks away.

-Your legs don't want to move anyway.

-Jisung closes his umbrella and looks up.

-'W-what are you doing?' You ask.

-'Just experimenting rain your way'.

-'But... You'll get sick'.

-'And you won't?' He asks.

-'I won't. I never get colds or the flu'.

-'That's weird'. He says.

-'Okay, can you just...' You walk towards him trying to make him use his umbrella again.

-He holds one of your wrists so you'd stop.

-You look up to meet his eyes. 'Ok, I'm sorry. Be sick then'.

-He scoffs. 'I won't'.

-'You will but whatever'.

-'Ok, can we just... I didn't came here to fight you'.

-'I'm not fighting you I'm just worried cause you look so weak. I bet you have a fever the minute you're back at hom...'

-He's kissing you.

-His hands on your waist pulling you closer and your arms over his shoulders.

-You have tears falling down your cheeks again but who could tell with all that rain?

-'I'm sorry'. You say as you pull away.

-He shush you. 'I know. And I'm sorry too, okay? I was so hurt at your words but Hyunjin and Bangchan helped me understand better how you were feeling'.

-'Did you have some kind of meeting while I was away?'

-'Kinda. Chris was really worried about you not answering your phone so he came to our apartment to ask if we knew where you were'.

-'Wow, embarrassing. He really is like my dad huh?'

-He chuckles. 'Yeah, guess he is. He told me I should be the one to come get you but I wasn't sure if you'd want me to so I stayed'.

-'But you came'.

-'Well yeah I stayed for like a minute and then I run here'. He says and you scoff softly.

-Then you kiss him and he smiles.

-'So... Can we date for real now? Please'. He asks as he chuckles. 'Before I kill Seungmin at least'.

-You chuckle too. 'You've been wanting to kill him lately?'

-'Please. I fell for you as soon as you walked in my apartment the day of the party and got to know you for real. Of course I've been wanting to fight Seungmin since then'.

-'Idiot'. You say then you kiss him.

-'You know, I actually love when you call me an idiot cause I can perfectly tell you don't mean it at all'.

-He holds your hand and you both start walking home.

-'I mean it a little'. You say.

-'Nah you don't. You know I'm a genius'.

-'My genius boyfriend who would get a fever just to prove a point'.

-He laughs. 'Shut up. You'd do the same'.

-'Right. Ah so genius Sungie. You know me so well'. You say. 'My genius'. You repeat dramatically.

-'Ew, shut up. You ruined it'. He says then he chuckles.

-You laugh too. 'Sorry. Let's get home already and take a shower to get rid of the cold'. You say.

-'Hm, that sounds really nice. Ok, wanna race there?'  

-You start running instead of giving him an answer and he laughs and start running too.

-As you reach the doorway to the building you're breathless and so happy.

-He gets there seconds later.

-You pull from his hoodie and kiss him.

-He picks you up against the wall to keep kissing.

-The rain still falling over you.

-Then the doorman comes out the building. 'Just go inside you're practically home already, idiots'.

-You both laugh and walk inside. 'Sorry'.

-He sneezes as soon as he's on the elevator and you laugh.

-'I knew it'. You say. 'You're sick'.

-'I'm not, shut up'.

-You both leave tiny puddles as you walk with your drenched clothes.

-'Let's go to mine'. He says. 'Hyunjin is at Seungmin's'.

-As you get to his apartment he starts sneezing again.

-'Ah seriously. You got sick'.

-'I'm okay'. He says.

-'Take off those clothes already omg'.

-You get in the shower with him and he looks so dizzy.

-What an idiot. It's just as you said earlier. As soon as he stepped into the building he got sick.

-He kisses you. His hands all over your body.

-But you stop him.

-'Sungie you got a fever we have to get you into bed as soon as possible'.

-He whines and you kiss him. 'I'll cuddle you'. You say.

-He doesn't insist much more cause honestly he really feels sick and just wants you to take care of him even if he won’t admit it.

-You help him get into his pjs and take a shirt for yourself.

-'Aren't you wearing any underwear?' He asks as you tuck him into bed.

-You chuckle softly. 'Yeah, I left those at home Sungie'.

-'Ahh you're killing me. Come here. You said you'd cuddle me'.

-'And I will but let me hang our clothes first so it'll dry okay?'

-'Okay...' He pouts and you leave a peck on his lips.

-You struggle a little to find where to hang your clothes.

-When you're finally back Jisung is asleep.

-You look at him as you smile. Then you sit next to him in bed.

-He shifts to look at you and pulls from you so you'd lie with him.

-His eyes shut and his face is so close to yours.

-You caress his face softly and he opens his eyes a bit to look at you.

-'You okay?' You ask with a soft voice.

-'I love you'. He says and your heart stops for a moment. 'I know it's early to say it but I do'.

-You smile softly. 'I love you'. You kiss him. 'I don't care how early it is. I just feel that way too'.

Fin.

Seungmin’s One Shot ‘Colors’

Blog’s Masterlist

[julemmaes]

Little black dress // part four

Anna Lightwood and Ariadne Bridgestock modern au

Mh, sorry? I’ve had a not-so-nice time during these two last months and I had no time or energy to write anything. I’m really sorry this took so long and I hope you’re still involved in the story, tho I hardly doubt it. Anyway, here’s Arianna part, fucking finally and I really like it. Not loove it, like I do for anything Thomastair, but still.

Just don’t hate me and try to enjoy it:)

For the other parts

Word count: 3,929

Anna had made a mistake.

She had made a mistake and now she was freaking out, because Ariadne was smiling at her like she always did, but that emotion that normally shone in her golden eyes seemed to have died out.

It was the first night they were able to spend away from home without worrying about the next day's schedule and they had enjoyed every minute as if they thought their next date would be years from now.

They had immediately refused the group's invitation to go out with them that night and now Anna was regretting not going to her cousin's house. Despite having spent one of the best nights of their lives, Anna regretted not accepting because the little velvet box in her jacket pocket weighed like a boulder. So when the opportunity to slip someone in to third wheel came up, she didn't think twice and asked Matthew and Lucie if they could join.

Ariadne had asked her a couple of times to go home, but she couldn't. As long as they stayed out, she could still muster some courage and ask her, but as soon as she set foot in the house, she would give up and go straight to bed, regretting for sure the bad choice the next morning. So, no, they couldn't go home, but she could have stretched the night as long as she wanted.

She smiled at Ariadne, putting the phone in her pocket, "They're coming right away anyway."

His girlfriend squeezed in her shoulders, "Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that Matthew and Lucie are coming, but I thought we'd be alone tonight. I'm a little tired, actually."

Anna felt guilty and her heart clenched in her chest. She stretched her hand out on the table, taking Ariadne’s, "I’m sorry, I didn't think it would bother you, if you want we can tell him we left because we had other plans." she suggested, wiggling her eyebrows, suggesting which plans she alluded to, even though her stomach was twisting.

They weren't going home anyway. She was being a bitch, she knew it, but she couldn't give up so quickly. "Math would understand. And I'm sure Luce wants to be alone with him, too, now that they've finally been able to declare their eternal love." she concluded with a smirk, wiping her hands on the jeans.

Ariadne's gaze moved to the door of that particularly crowded restaurant to be four o'clock in the morning and gave a smile that looked more like a grimace, "Too late." Anna didn't have time to turn around that two arms were choking her.

"We haven't seen each other in ages." Lucie screamed in her ear. Beyond her cousin's shoulder she saw Matthew chuckling as he greeted Ariadne with a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Work is destroying us," replied Anna, placing her arm around the shoulders of the girl who had just arrived and sat next to her.

Ariadne sighed loudly and nodded, putting her face in her hands, "And my new boss is such an asshole. The other day he ordered me to go buy him a coffee." She looked at Matthew with her eyes wide open, "Like I'm some kind of intern," she said disgusted. Then her eyebrows snapped so high they disappeared under her hair. "But you two got together! Finally!" she raised her arms, hugging Matthew, who laughed embarrassedly.

"Actually we just kissed, we didn't, um," the guy put his hand over his face, "We haven't talked about it yet, but-" he stopped again, eyeing Lucie.

"What he's trying to say is, yes, we're getting there." she smiled at him, her eyes glowing, "But you should take me out to dinner first."

Matthew backed out, pointing at the club with one hand, "What does this look like to you?"

"I brought you here." she scoffed.

The squabble went on for a while, but Anna and Ariadne weren't really participating.

Anna cursed herself for the millionth time. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She'd planned everything perfectly and always managed to screw it all up. She couldn't understand where all that magnificent self-esteem that had allowed her to achieve every goal in life and that distinguished her from all her relatives had gone.

She looked at her watch, it was almost four. The Sky Garden had already been closed for hours and she knew it.

That place was one of Ariadne's favourites all over London. It was one of the city's skyscrapers and its special feature was the small garden that stood on the 35th floor. It was quite a touristy place, but there were never too many people there and very often, when Ariadne was still in university, they would go there to spend their days and go over the subjects before big exams.

She would offer her one of those drinks she loved so much with orange juice and a slice of pineapple and then take her out on the terrace, she hadn't yet decided whether she would kneel down or not, but she would say something to her and then take out the ring. It seemed so simple when she thought it. Simple but great.

And yet now she felt as if her legs were made of jelly, and with every movement she felt as if she were giving away years of life, she was struggling so hard.

They had ordered in between chats and the food had arrived in less than ten minutes. Matthew seemed to be on the verge of tears when the waiter arrived and put his three servings of noodles in front of him. One with beef, one with chicken and one vegetarian. Lucie and Ariadne looked at him in shock. They had decided to have only drinks and now they were sipping their hot teas.

"Are you sure you'll be able to work tomorrow?" Lucie asked, rising an eyebrow when he alternated a bite of chicken’s noodles and beef’s. "You know I wouldn't want to have to drag you to the emergency because instead of blood you'll have noodles in your veins."

Ariadne laughed and Anna stiffened. She was trying not to look at her, but when she laughed she was so beautiful. She's always beautiful, she thought, cursing herself. She looked up and when her amber eyes looked at her, Anna sprang to her feet. Lucie's expression became even more confused.

Ariadne settled down on the chair, as if she was uncomfortable. "Are you okay, An?"

The girl nodded. God, what was happening to her. She wasn't like that. She wasn't clumsy.

"Anna?" Matthew had stopped eating and looked at her worried.

Her eyes clicked on his friend, "Would you like to come out for some air?" she asked quickly, avoiding the gaze of the other two girls. "Smoking." she said, having to say something else. She didn't wait for an answer and rushed out of the restaurant.

As soon as he was on the sidewalk, somewhat away from the ‘dear lord, ramen’, she leaned back against the wall and then laid her hands on her knees, bending forward. She was gasping for air and wished she was at home at that moment, in her bed with her girlfriend, not her possible future wife.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and then Matthew bent over like her, to have his face at her own height. His eyes wide open with worry, "What happened?" she stared back and kept gasping. She took a deep breath, holding it. This should have slowed her heart, which seemed to be about to explode.

She was able to move enough to reach into her pocket with one hand, and then both of them held their breath.

"Oh shit." That's all the boy said.

They were silent for a few seconds. "Yeah."

"Were you going to ask her now?" Matthew asked, trying to figure out what the problem was. She looked up at his friend and saw the myriad questions hovering in his head.

They all knew the two girls were going to get married sooner or later, but no one knew that Anna was planning to propose that night. She'd done well to keep it to herself. They thought they'd wait a little longer.

It wasn't that she didn't want to share it with others for fear that they would tell her to wait or that they wouldn't agree. It had been years since they had all come to terms with the fact that Ariadne would be in their group forever. At first they had been a little hesitant, given their history and how Ariadne had broken her heart when they were still teenagers, but now she was simply part of the family.

"Not now now." she groaned. "Actually, I screwed up," she said, pulling herself up and looking towards the restaurant, making sure no one came out.

"Do you want to tell me or, I don't know, would you rather go back inside and get Ari and leave?"

Anna snorted, shaking her head, "No, I've ruined everything by now. I'll do it another night."  

Matthew chuckled, "Leave it to you, the most confident person I know, to become this-" teased her with one finger, "-clumsy, for the most important question of your life."

Anna whispered to him to fuck off, but he was right.

"I don't know what got to me, I had a spectacular night planned and then we went to a club to dance and I lost track of the time and I thought it's okay." Anna started babbling, "We're fine and she just started working in that horrible office and I think she's under enough stress. Planning a wedding would also take away what little free time she has now," she continued, gesturing with her hands, "Sure, I'd help her with everything, but it would still be something else to take care of."

He looked up at Matthew, who seemed thoughtful. "Why don't we go back inside, tell Ari you're not feeling well and then maybe introduce the subject when you're home?"

"So she can't kick me out, you say?" joked Anna, trying to lighten the air.

"No, that way you'll be calmer and if you're going to throw up from anxiety, at least you can do it in your bathroom." Matthew continued, laughing.

Anna sighed, nodded, and after a brief pause in which she was thinking of all the worst possible scenarios, they went back in.

Lucie was leaning forward on the table, her mouth wide open, and she was shaking Ariadne's hands, smiling at her with her lips so tight that if she smiled more they would tear. As soon as the grils saw them approaching, they pulled away and Lucie sat up straight again, looked Matthew in the eyes and with her eyebrows raised and a very condescending tone, "You and I have to go leave now.”

"But- Lucie?" It was rare enough that Matthew referred to the girl using her full name in that serious tone. He looked suspiciously at the table before bending over to his new girlfriend. "Where are my noodles?" Lucie shrugged and laughed.

Ariadne, in front of them, was staring at Anna, "Are you okay?" she asked her hesitantly.

Anna decided that nothing would happen that night, that she had made her suffer enough, but she would not lie to her. "No. Can we go home?" she asked her, with hopeful eyes, "Please."

Lucie, who had suddenly stopped bickering with Matthew, raised her voice so loudly that they got a couple of nasty looks from other people at the tables. Now that he noticed, there were a lot of people for it being four o'clock in the morning. "Yes! Yes!" Then, in a lower tone, "Yes, you absolutely must go home."

Ariadne gave her a murderous look and Anna turned to Matthew, trying to figure out if he knew anything, but he seemed too lost in his noodles thoughts to worry about anything else.

"And stop making that long face, I asked the waitress to put them in a takeaway container." Lucie jokingly pushed him. Matthew lit up and bent over her to kiss her.

Anna stood, watching the new couple with a sad smile. She was really happy for Matthew. They had talked so many times about how sick it made him feel to see how every single person in his life found love under the rocks, how he had tried so many times to meet new people and like them to get Lucie out of his head.

She felt a hand resting on her arm and turned towards her girlfriend again. Ariadne's bright eyes stared at her worried, "What happened?"

Anna took a deep breath and then shook her head and looked away, "Can we talk about this when we get home?" the other nodded slightly before saying goodbye to Matthew and Lucie with a flying kiss. Anna looked at Matthew and he gave her a bright smile and the thumbs up.

Yes, she could do it.

The journey to their apartment was mostly silent. Every once in a while Ariadne would comment on something that had happened at work and Anna would laugh or give her honest opinion about it, but it seemed as if they were both not really there.

Now that Anna was paying more attention, Ariadne was torturing her fingers and had been checking her phone so many times in the last five minutes that it was starting to make Anna suspicious. That she figured it out? That she came out while showing Math the ring and saw the whole thing?

No, that wasn't possible. She would've already broached the subject.

Looking sideways at her girlfriend confirmed that yes, Ariadne was definitely upset about something. And the look she gave her mere seconds later also confirmed that it was about the two of them. Anna narrowed her eyes when she saw that they had finally entered Percy Street and were only a few yards away from their apartment.

She could have made it.

Ariadne froze at the bottom of the porch stairs. Anna let go of her hand and climbed the few steps that separated her from what she considered to be their safe place, but when she saw that the other one was left on the sidewalk she frowned. With her hand still in mid-air she gave a cough, trying to attract Ariadne's attention, but she seemed to be in a trance as she murmured something.

"Ari? Are you okay?"

No answer.

She raised the voice a little, hoping their neighbors wouldn't wake up, "Ari."

The girl finally looked up at Anna and had lost color on her face, as if she was feeling sick. Indeed, Ariadne felt as if the world was swallowing her up little by little. She had received a message from Cecily around midnight assuring her that everything had been put in place and that Garbiel couldn't wait to see how it would go. Despite the support she had received from both Anna's parents, she couldn't hold back the whimper that escaped from her lips and ran up the stairs positioning between the door and Anna, blocking her entrance.

"What's going on?" Anna asked anxiously, placing a hand on her face and stroking her cheekbone, trying to calm her down.

Ariadne had started fidgeting with her foot since she was so stressed, "There's something in the house." The surprise on Anna's face was obvious and Ariadne bit her lip trying to figure out if that slightest reaction was good or bad. Even the soothing movement on her cheek stopped. "It's a big thing. It's something I've been wanting to do for a long time and Cecily..." she paused, looking for signs that Anna didn't want anything from her at that moment, but the blue-eyed girl's hand hadn't left her face yet. She could see the confusion in Anna’s eyes as she tried to understand what her mother had to do with it at that moment. Ariadne leaned slightly against that contact, seeking comfort in the warmth of her beloved.

After all, she had behaved very strangely that night, and now she was beginning to think that maybe Anna wanted to break up with her. She closed her eyes and took courage. "I wanted to arrange something nice for you, to ask you something very important, but I don't think you're fine tonight and I see you're upset. I don't want to know what it is, if it was vitally important you would have told me already and I don't want to force you to share anything you don't want, but I'm here."

Ariadne placed both hands on Anna's arms, bringing her body closer to that of the other in a swift movement. She moved her hands over her chest, feeling how Anna's heart was beating fast in her ribcage.

Anna smiled at her and her eyes softened so easily that Ariadne almost burst out crying.

Whatever Ariadne was talking about, Anna was happy.

All the anxiety she had accumulated during the night had dissipated as soon as her girlfriend opened her mouth. She was no longer afraid of what the other's response or reaction would be. She was no longer afraid of what might happen, because she knew that whatever happened, they would find a way to deal with it together.

She leaned slightly over Ariadne and laid her lips on hers. Even the weight on the girl's shoulders seemed to lift suddenly and they relaxed each other's touch.

When they both were out of breath, but with their eyes still glistening with emotion, Anna managed to move Ariadne from the entrance and open the door.

A faint flickering light came from upstairs and casting a curious look over his girlfriend's shoulder, Anna walked up the stairs, holding Ariadne's hand.

As soon as she saw what Ariadne had done, Anna stopped.

The room shone with its own light and an indefinite number of what Anna recognized as white carnations and another yellow flower very similar to wisteria covered every free surface of the room. From the ceiling hung what looked like pictures of them. "Ari…"

She stepped forward and felt Ariadne hold her breath. She reached the last step and began to walk through the living room, swiping her finger over each photo. There were pictures of every date they went on. There was the selfie they had made immediately after making love for the first time. There were pictures of their first meeting and the ones they had taken secretly.

Her chest hurt from how many emotions she was feeling.

On the wall above the sofa was a large frame of the two of them on the day of her cousin Eugenia's wedding. That day Ariadne had worn a black dress so beautiful that there hadn't been a single person who hadn't complimented her. In the picture Anna was holding her tight to her chest while Ariadne was leaning back and laughing with her eyes closed. Anna's gaze transmitted so many emotions that she had a lump in her throat looking so happy. She had never realized she was looking at Ariadne with so much love.

If someone had told her it would end like this when she was still young and dumb, she would never have believed it.

She was speechless, too shocked by such a blatant action, but Ariadne must have interpreted her silence in a negative way, because she was stuck on the door and whispered, "I know, sorry is too much."

Anna snapped at her, gaping. Ariadne seemed to feel even worse, because she brought her hand to her chest and took a hesitant step towards her. "Your mother said you'd like it and I thought you'd prefer these to those stupid roses and..."

"I love it."

"What?"

"I said I love it," Anna said determinedly, so that she would hear her clearly. Dodging one photo to the right and one to the left, she reached out to the girl and encirled her hips, "And I love you, Ariadne."

She leaned forward, resting her forehead against the girl's. "I love everything about you. I love your hair and your lips, I love the color of your skin and how it makes the gold in your eyes shine." she left a chaste kiss on her lips. "I love how your body is perfectly compatible with mine," she pushed forward, getting lost in their kisses and brushing her jawline, which made Ariadne shudder, "and how it responds to the slightest of my touches."

"I love how you stand up for everything you believe in and everyone you love." Anna broke away to get a better look at her. Her eyes glowed with tears. She took another step back, Ariadne's hand hanging between them. "I can't imagine my life without you. I can't imagine a morning without having the chance to look at you as soon as you open your eyes and kiss you."

"I'm sorry I was a bitch tonight. I'm sorry if I acted weird and avoided going home so much." she put her hands in her pocket, trying to look calm while her heart exploded in her chest. She looked into her eyes, "Sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for." Ariadne whispered to her, stepping forward to take her in her arms, but Anna stopped her with a slight grin on her face. Ariadne wrinkled an eyebrow confused with a smile on her lips.

"I was going to take you to the Sky Garden. I was going to buy you one of those cocktails you love so much," she touched the velvet box in her pocket and squeezed her fingers around the object, pulling it out. "I was going to make you laugh, I was going to fall in love again and again and again." Ariadne's gaze followed her every move, and when she got on one knee she opened her eyes wide, making a choked sound very much like an incredulous laugh. "I was going to take you out on the terrace," she opened the box and saw tears flowing undisturbed on Ariadne's cheeks, who whispered, "Anna…"

She smiled, "And I was going to ask you to marry me."

Ariadne was now laughing through her tears as she was smuggling in her white handbag. She kept her gaze fixed on Anna though, as if she wanted to take a mental picture of this moment.

"That's why I didn't want to go home." Anna excused herself, "The second I set foot in here, my chances of asking you would have ended."

Ariadne laughed one last time, before she knelt down in front of her and pulled out a little dark blue velvet box, "Anna."

She stood motionless as she lowered her hand slightly with the little red box, "Ariadne?" The girl in question opened the blue box and a simple silver ring with a tiny blue stone glowed with the lights in the room. She gave out a choked laugh as her eyes filled up in turn, "Are you kidding?" She looked at Ariadne and sprang forward with a snap. She took the girl's face in her hands and kissed her. She broke away for a second when the other one stopped the kiss, "Oh god, we're terrible."

Anna laughed, taking the ring from her little box and putting it on Ariadne's finger, while the other one did the same. They looked into each other's eyes one last time, now high on exhilaration.

"Will you marry me?"

"And will you marry me?"

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[anne-lister-adventures]

Saturday, 8 March 1840

4 50/’’

11 55/’’

And we are to be off again in 3 hours (at 5 a.m.) – Vide Schnitzler vol.[volume] 1 p.[page] 691 his mention of Carte de Mr. Lapie of Russia Good – Lay down on my mattresses in my Chalat (having taken off my gown and handkerchiefs) at 2 50/’’ expected to be called at 4 1/2 – So much bit under my chin, that was sometime before I could fall asleep but I think I slept about an hour+ till A-[Ann] called me and I jumped up at 4 50/’’ – No water – No anything ∴[therefore] ready in 10 minutes and waited impatiently – At last by dint of pother got us off from Wiazowskaya and its cockroaches at 5 1/2 – Gave the woman a 30 Kopek silver piece = 1/05 with which she seemed very well satisfied – 

Tho’ we had only 25 v.[versts] to go, it took us 3 40/’’ hour snowing all the way, and cold wind driving the snow about us, and in at the top of the Kibitka on the off (A-‘s[Ann’s]) side – Very cold – Reaumur -12º dehors in the courtyard on the snow said Gross, on leaving W-[Wiazowskaya] but it was sheltered from the cold wind, and lying under the buildings – Great deal of snow on our road already a little drifted in places so that we could seldom go out of foot’s pace - 

Staritskaya a village – The cottages thickly covered with snow – Very wintry picturesque – Station House a good cottage of 2 rooms – One (left) nice little warm room with oven-stove, and bright live embers in it, and looking very comfortable – Our Courier had left his cap and Shube there ∴[therefore] I withdrew and all our people soon took possession – 

Wattled farm-yards and sheds and the log houses (some neat good little cottages) plastered up with mud in the seams of the logs – Did not see a church – 8 minutes in trotting till we got out of the village and yet we seemed to leave a still further length of Street to our left – Wrote the above notes as we drove off – Very cold work, writing – My fingers’ ends ached with the cold (being obliged to take off my little fir mittens to enable me to hold my pen) – 

At 10 1/2 a.m. Reaumur -11 1/2º lying on the in-driven snow in the corner of the Kibitka in the draught from the off (A-‘s[Ann’s] – West) side – Never had R-[Reaumur] so low before in our Kibitka – Our hands and feet were very cold when we reached Tchernoï Jar, board nord. Tchernoy Jar (Black bord, rive, or bank vide Schnitzler I. p.[page] 692) we had had hardly met or passed one person on the road, and the snow falling made the atmosphere so thick we could scare see a 12 yards before us – 

On alighting George said the Courier de Poste had gone 2 v.[versts] forwards and then returned – So thick he could not find his way – No road – All snowed up and very few guide or road-posts this way – A-[Ann] and I tasted nothing since last night – Glad of breakfast but 1 1/4 hour before we could get the Semovar to boil – 

“Caught in a storm” by Sverchkov. (Image source)

Our little room the least we have ever been in – About 3 yards square and about 2 ft.[feet] to 2 ft.[feet] 6 in.[inches] of one side taken up by stove and bedstead – The woman raked up the braise in the stove – But still Reaumur stood at only 8 1/2º of heat, and the little door opposite the single window (single glass) opening into the little anteroom exactly opposite the outdoor, made our little room cold – Tho’ the little door like all the inner doors (and outer doors, too, of cottages) hereabouts is low shutting against a threshold 7 or 8 in.[inches] or more above the floor, like ancient doors with us – The reason is plain – To keep out the draught of cold air from under the door along the bottom of the room – 

Had George in to know if we could go on – He said the weather was no clearer outside the town (nice little village-like Town – See no church) but the Jamptschiks (drivers) would go if I liked – The next stage 30 v.[versts] thought they could get there by midnight – But then we must go 31 v.[versts] farther for Goatschewskay a mere village – Nothing but Isbas – It would be difficult for us to sleep there – But a good Government Station at Vetlaninskaya 2d.[2nd] stage from here – It was now after 2 – No use in being 8 or 9 hours in going 30 v.[versts] and then being obliged to go 31 v.[versts] farther – Stay all night here – 

Off to look at a good house near where travellers usually go to sleep – The house empty – The people were at dinner in a smaller house the kitchen-house on the other side the courtyard – Went there 6 good looking better sort of peasants and the lady of the house and her 2 women cooking dinner and serving the plats from the stove oven in the little place (kitchen) adjoining – 

Carême – (Lent) Manger maigre – Fish Tchee (soup – Cabbage and fish instead of cabbage and meat soup) – Some cold salted salmon and lastly blinis (blēēnys) the sort of little thickish wheat flour pancake the size of the inside of common English dinner plate – Sat down for a minute or and tasted all there to their amusement – 

Agreed for one good room at 1/- per day – Dinner at -/50 each – And came Kibitkas and all settled here at 3 1/4 heated by 2 poeles, 3 doors, 3 windows, single glass as very general of late – One room about 5 1/2 yards square – The board-walls painted a yellowish darkish green with a festoon of flowers over each door, 3 scripture pictures St. John Baptists head on a tray-table a young man holding it (left hand) by the hair, and right leaning on a long large broad sword with cap and fur-lined handsome Shube on (meant for Herod?), and 2d.[2nd] angel and round Abraham going to slay his son – And 3d.[3rd] Daniel in the lions’ den (8 lions – An angel over man (like Daniel himself) with book (Bible) in his hand in the clouds – And from top of wall the King and 2 turbanned grandees looking down upon Daniel) – 

The ceiling an 8tagon[octagon] of a lightish blueish green with a medallion in the middle (a woman feeding 2 swams a circular medallion surrounded by garland of roses, marigolds, panseys, forget-me-nots, and something else – The medallions a tree in full leaf with nosegay of flowers lying by – A tree full of white apples – A tree in full leaf with vines with ripe blue grapes by it, and a parcel of naked small trunks of trees – Sundry garlands on the panels round the skirting board 2 ft.[feet] high – The doors same light green as 8tagon[octagon] of ceiling, and the ogee bevils of the 3 tier of door panels red – 2 tables and 6 chairs – Offered to bring canapés for us to sleep on – But we declined them – Used to put our mattresses on the floor – 

‘Tis now 5 10/’’ – Slumbered and mused our 1st stage this morning and the 2d.[2nd] Read Russian Grammar and Schnitzler I. from p.[page] 121 to 145 till 11 1/2 – The Post Courier has been delayed here the last 3 nights if I rightly understood our Courier – We to be off at 6 a.m. tomorrow if possible – But cela depend – If more snow falls in the night we shall have enough of it – No Volga – No Na Volga – Since Sarepta – Would rather be here than there – May live less well, but shall be warmer – The single windows there and German stove that got quite cold during the night were starvation – 

Reaumur 10 3/4 on my table now at 5 20/’’ p.m. Reading Schnitzler and looking at maps till dinner – Tea and cotelettes du poisson, and Blinnys (the pancakes) over at 8 20/’’ – Then read article Tchernoï Jar in the Geography Dictionary de la Russie – Inquired if the fortifications were still kept up – Yes! Still standing but not much attended to – Very few soldiers – Shall pass the Kremlin tomorrow morning – To stop a minute en passant – The lesser salt lake 40 versts from here 1 little Town 20 v.[versts] from here en route and a little village close upon the lake – Lac Yelton perhaps 100 v.[versts] from here – 

Then reading till now 9 55/’’ – When at Tzaritzine should have tried to see the site of the Ancient Bulgarian city Soumerkente, and on the island formed by the Achtouba on the other side the Volga interesting remains of Saraie city and palace of Batou Khan – Vide these 2 articles in the Geography Dictionary of Russia – Battle of the Calca (Chalka Government of Nijegorod?) which delivered Russia into the hands of the Tatars, 1226. Vide Geography Dictionary II. 263. article Tchemigof – And see article Calmouks – Le famoux Tchingruis-Khan was grandson of Batou Kahn, had just written so far at 10 35/’’ 

Snowy windy cold day – Fair towards evening – found my cousin gently come at breakfast Lay down as last night at 11 55/’’ A-[Ann] and I –

 5 1/2 to 9 10/’’ Wiazowskaya to Staritskaya                                    25

9 27/’’ to 11 40/’’ S-[Staritskaya] to Tschernoy Jar (Gorod)            21

                                                                                                         46

This stage along the Volga, while en route to Astrakhan.

[symbols in the margin of the page:]         +          +          +          𐐥

[in the margin of the page:]             Reaumur 8 1/2º inside

[in the margin of the page:]             Doors shutting against high thresholds

[in the margin of the page:]             Tchernoï-Jar

[in the margin of the page:]             Room at Tchernoi Jar

[in the margin of the page:]             L.[Lake] Elton 180 v.[versts] from here

Page References: SH:7/ML/E/24/0036 and SH:7/ML/E/24/0037

[gloriousprofessorhan]

Cousins

Kai is your cousin and he likes you.

(re-upload ‘Cousins’ on AFF 2018)

... Event the day has to give up for the night

You met him for the first time after a while when you were 19, and years after that it still amaze you how you’re actually cousins with him. Kim Jongin, national contemporer dancer who is very well-known.

You remember saw him dancing one day, when your parents brought to his show, he moved easy like a breeze, he caught your eyes since then.

He’s tall and handsome. He got you hooked by his smile but after know him more, his shy and adorable personality is what makes him even more interesting, but you know, you and him are just cousins.

But he’s always kind. His kindness and affections got you confuse sometimes. But it doesn’t stop you and him to be one of the closest cousins among the family.

Happy birthday!

He texted you one day, on your 24th birthday and got you a little present, he knew you just start your new studio as a interior designer after three years working at a big architecture studio.

He went to your office and adoring all the corner, saying that he envied every architect and interior expert because they will able to live in such a trendy places.

Your office occupied the second floor of a small two floor building in the city center. It has indoor area with enough sunlight from the glass wall, and it has a spacey outdoor area.

When he came to your office, you knew all of your workers—especially girls, are looking at him like somekind of delicious meals. He gave you a simple bouquet of flower he picked from the flower shop in the corner of the street. You knew because you walked pass it everyday, and he gave you a small air humidifier for the office.

You said thanks while gave him a light hug which he holds longer than you planned. You like his hugs because you’re taller than average girls and he obviously taller than you and you like how you burried inside his chest.

Yup, you and him got th good genes from the family. You both tall and attractive.

“Thought Kai was your boyfriend.” Joy, your friend said one day. Kai is his stage name.

“No, he’s a cousin.” You replied.

“No wonder you both got this similiarity based on looks.”

You smirks.

“Is he single? He’s very famous, I bet even idols wants to date him.” Joy continues.

“Maybe.” You shrugs, “but I think he’s single.”

Joy rubbed her chin, “do you ever think of having a cousin in law like me?”

You laughed then shouts no.

You only met him when there’s a family gathering or when you decided to go on his shows. And tonight you’re going to his shows with your other cousins. Your big family is very close to each other, you had annual holiday together, and often see each other during break. You just didn’t get to meet Kai for years because you study abroad and Kai also study abroad. 

You got to the backstage and congartulates him in person, so were the other cousins. You kissed his cheek and he kissed you back, the whole family is usually do this cheek to cheek kiss but he always kiss you lip-to-cheek and you’re always okay with that, even tho that made your heart flutters.

Then a girl came closer and greet you all. Later he introduce her as his girlfriend. You didn’t pay attention to her name, all you knew was you got this strange pinch feeling in your heart.

You tried your best not to look upset because he was observing you longer than expected. And when the group picture happened, he was beside you, casually rest his arm on you shoulder and pull you closer.

You knew his girlfriend is looking.

-

Kai moved to another city when he was chosen as the core team for Modern Ballet and Contemporary competition. And whenever he’s back to Seoul he’ll contact you, just like tourist who asking for meeting old friend who is a local. But you always say yes to his invitation.

The meetings will only be dinner, daily life updates, exchanging jokes and laughter. Nothing more.

“Drive safe okay?” he said while walks you to the parking lot.

“Okay!” you smiles.

He patted your hair, “I’m going back to Osaka tomorrow.”

“Want me to drive you to the airport?”

“Would you?” he grinned.

You nodded.

“Okay, my plane is at 11 am, so… pick me up at 8?”

You nodded again and he pull you to a hug, “see you tomorrow morning.” He kissed the top of your head. And you feel an extra pound in your heart.

You wonder if he feels the same.

On the way to the airport he was talking about his girlfriend, because you asked. He said she’s a model, a someone he knew from a photoshot for a product. She’s sweet and nice, not to mentioned she’s tall because she’s a model.

“You like tall girls?” you asked while driving.

“Yes.” He nodded, “I think her height is same as yours.”

“Hahaha… are you obsessing with me?”

he paused, “huh?”

You instantly felt ashamed, why would you think that way about him? He’s your cousins and he might only see you that way while you’re accusing all his affections as an obsession. How embarassing!

“hahaha… no, no, sorry, I was just joking! Why are you stunned like that?!” you trying to sound casual.

He chuckled before joking, “I was almost fainting, thought how you found out that I’m obsessed with you.”

You laughed with him. 

His relationship with his girlfriend looking stronger as he  introduce her to his family and brought her to some family occasion. And you’re always be happy for him. Even tho you still didn’t really pay attention to her name and whatever she’s doing.

And then, right at the end of the winter you met this guy, he’s also tall and handsome, he’s a client from your old workplace, he met you again in an event and recognized you. And from the simple conversation, you both are getting closer, and early spring, he asked you to be his girl and you said yes.

Kai knew about it few months later during the family vacation, “how’s he? I really have to know him, I need to know if he’s good enough for you!” he said in a cute squinty eyes and you can’t help but squeeze his cheek and kiss it.

“You’re like the cutest baby brother ever!”

Yes, he’s one year younger than you.

Unexpectedly Kai is very close to your boyfriend, they talked about many things during their first meeting and Kai became your boyfriend favorite person among your other cousins.

“He’s a famous dancer but he’s so humble… did you know that his work out is running? Just like me.” You boyfriend said.

“Everyone’s work out is running.”

“But he ran for marathon, did you know that?”

No, you didn’t know.

“You ran for marathon?” you asked Kai one day when he stop by your house to see your older brother’s daughter.

He was playing with your niece and shook his head, “I did, one time, but gosh… my chest is about to explode! I hate running.”

You wonder why he’s trying hard to be close to your boyfriend.

“Hey, you gonna join the family summer holiday later?” he asked.

You nodded, “yeah, I think it’s a great moment to introduce my boyfriend to the whole family.”

-

Your family loves your boyfriend, he’s a nice guy, smart and settle. And he’s super easy going so everyone is having fun talking to him.

“Where’s Kai?” he asked.

“His parents said he’ll be here tomorrow.” You said while lying beside him in the room you shared with him.

And the next day, just before lunch, you’re lazying around the bed while your boyfriend and the rest of the family is having a fun outdoor activity, you saw someone standing at your door way.

“Hey.” 

You lift your head and saw Kai.

“Hey, youuu…” you sat up but he threw himself to the bed beside you. You saw gloom on his face. “What’s up?”

“She broke up with me.”

You didn’t say anything for a while, “oh… no…” you murmured.

You let him lying on your arm while telling you why.

“I can’t blame her tho… it’s a hard long distance relationship, and also she met many other male models which way more good looking than me… nothing I can do about that.”

“Look at you,” you said, you’re super good looking too… tall and handsmome, you gotta meet someone new soon.” You pull him closer and he snuggle further.

“I want to have a girlfriend like you.” He mumbled and you knew your guard crumbled.

“Still obsessed with me?” you asked, this time, no joke on your voice.

He paused for a while before saying, “I’m always obsessed with you…”

Then the kiss happened, the forbidden kiss because, damn, he’s your mother’s sister son! Your closest cousins!

But his lips keep moving between yours, his palm creeping up caressing your cheek. It was soft and smooth, it was plumpy, it was going in rhythm… 

Every cells inside your body grew but you refuse to awaken from this reverie. If it is. But you and him knew it was real.

After minutes of long kisses, where his hands keep holding you in a loving way, someone gotta break it before somebody else get into the cottage.

He’s staring at you in an odd way, a silent arguments heard inside your head, the pound in his chest transferred to you palm that still resting on his board chest.

You rose from the bed and made your way outside.

“I like you a lot.” He said.

And you didn’t replied. You walked really fast to meet your boyfriend.

-

Cousins, aunts, and uncles saying goodbye to each other. Warm hugs and promises to meet each other again fills the air. You hugged everyone except Kai because you didn’t saw him ever since. But when everyone starts entering their own car you saw him brought a small travel bag on his hand, a van parked in the parking lot and you saw his manager came out.

“You’re going back to Osaka right away?” you asked, your boyfriend heading to his car and it’s only two of you left.

He nods.

“Good luck.” You said.

He nodded again.

“Alright then.”

He was looking at you, “Okay, see ya around.” He murmured and you tip toeing to reach out his cheek, kiss it like usual, a statement that nothing is changed.

He leaned down and kiss your cheek to before send you off to your boyfriend’s car.

“Was it something common in your family to kiss each other like that?” your boyfriend asked you.

“L-like what?” you can’t help but stutter because you’re afraid he might saw you two in the cottage.

“Like this.” He kissed your cheek and you chuckles, nervously chuckling but turn into something more relieve because he didn’t see you two in the cottage.

“Yup, that’s kind of… habit.” You replied, “we’re very close, me and all cousins are super close, you wouldn’t imagine.”

“But only Kai kissed you like that.” He said.

“Because…” you pretend to be busy changing the radio station so you got few seconds to think, “he’s like a baby. He was the only child in his family, he doesn’t have any siblings, and he spent his childhood practicing his skill… he practically lonely, so when we met and grew up together, he always think of me as his noona… and always asking me to baby him.” You smiles, hoping all the explanation make sense. 

“Is it weird if I’m a bit jealous? I know he’s your cousin and he’s fun to be with… but he’s handsome like heck.”

You laughed, “yes, it’s weird to be jealous about him, he’s my baby brother.” And you remember the kiss you had with Kai yesterday. “a-and… he likes you like his own hyung.”

“Right.” Your boyfriend agreed and smiled.

-

I’m going to Osaka tomorrow.

You texted Kai and he called you.

“I’ll take you to the best restaurant!” his voice is cheerful as usual.

“I’m not going there for holiday, I have some sites to visit.” You replied.

“But you will have time to eat, won’t you?”

You chuckled, “of course.”

And the day came, you’re in Osaka working for a new project. You met Kai in your third day there, and as promised he brought you to a nice small restaurant.

“The katsu here is the best you’re gonna have.” He said.

And the conversations flow like it used to. He’s still smiling while looking at you talking, still telling you funny stories, his activities, and the hardships of being in core team of dancing competition. 

No sign of girlfriends. Maybe he decided to be focus on his career first.

He drove you to your hotel and you know inviting him in is not a good idea. You might be overthinking but after what happened before, you can’t trust him and yourself.

“You usually invite me in.” he said after you tell him goodnight, “oh not only inviting me, but you usually told me to stay because you’re afraid sleeping in a new place.”

You can’t say anything because he was right.

“Is it because of what I did to you?” he asked, “you don’t have to worry that I’d kiss you again in the hotel room because I can kiss you anywhere if I want it, okay?” he sounds irittated.

“It’s not that,” you said, “it’s not only you I can’t trust, it’s also me.”

“So, you… like it too?” he asked.

You lift your gaze to his level, “yes, but we better leave it there because we can’t like it.”

“Because we’re cousins?”

“Yes.” You made your voice to be as assertive as possible.

He stop for a moment, “yeah, okay.”

He’s annoyed, you knew.

-

Kai kissed your cheek longer than usual when he drove you to the airport, and hug you like he would never saw you again.

“I love you…” he murmured.

“You know I love you too.”

“I still hope you can love me as a man, not your baby brother…”

You pull yourself off of him and look up on him, “I loved you as a man… but,”

He tilt his head, looking confused.

“Everything has to give up on something.” You continued, “even the day has to give up for the night.” You reach his hand, “you’ll find someone exactly like you’ve been searching for… soon.”

“I hope everything going well between you and him.” He suddenly talk about your boyfriend, “he’s a good guy, I really like talking to him… he’s handsome, and head over heel over you… you’ll be happy with him.”

You couldn’t help but feel warm inside your eyes, “thank you.”

-

Your boyfriend proposed you few months after Osaka, and one year after, here you are, walking on the aisle in a pretty white dress, holding your father’s hand.

Wide smile decorating your face as you saw familiar faces, and stopped to the smiling face at the end of the pews. Kai.

Beside him is a beautiful girl, this time, you’re paying attention to her name because you like her. Her name is Krystal, and American-Korean singer he met at the opening of the Olympic, and yes, you were right, he met someone he’s been searching for in that girl. You could see it from the way he couldn’t stop talking about her when he called you, and you’re happy for him.

You smile at him and he gave you a thumb up. You both knew, that giving up doesn’t mean that your weak, it shows that you’re strong. And in this case, you’re just being true-to-life.

-end-

[szopenhauer]

Grossest thing you’ve seen in a bathroom? pee, poop and blood mixed with vomit all over the place Do you consider your family dysfunctional? all families are toxic, more or less Do you hate people who act like everything is fine when its not? I hate those people, they both want you to leave them alone and guess, they’re annoyed with the fact you wanna know as much as you not caring about them, never satisfied, then blame everybody else, how are we supposed to act if we feel you don’t trust us enough to tell the truth? it’s your own fault! we also have problems, not everything’s about you, if you prefer to kill yourself than speak up, that’s your choice but it means you’re a coward, I’m tired of that behavior

Ever had a body piercing ripped out? never had a piercing so I’m lucky not to be bullied this way

Can you sew/croshet/knit? I know basics but I have no patience so it’s not my hobby Do you put the cap back on the toothpaste after using it? of course :o  Have you shot off a firework? never, it’s dangerous, I prefer to look and from afar  Are you offended when you see women breast feeding? no

Do you hate when people keep things from you? if we’re close then sure Can you multitask? I can XD

*działam na dwa fronty, boobs, albo na tyłach* Are you too sensitive? hypersensitive Who wears the pants in the relationship? who wears the socks and cowboy hat tho?

If you were given three things to make you happy, what would these be? health, money and no worries How would you rank the following in importance: family, career, love life? family and love life then career as I’m not interested in it 

Which would you prefer: having a baby without a partner or a partner without a baby? partner without a baby  but tbh it would be better to raise a baby without a partner if I decided to have a kid (I don’t want children though) as there wouldn’t be disagreements on how to nor risk of arguments and then divorce in general which would be super hard for the little one 

Do you think God is real, and why? sigh...

Do you believe in giving people second chances, and why? rarely as it’s like putting your hand into fire hoping it will be cold this time, people usually change for worse - not better Do you think people fall in love because the right person has arrived, or because the time is right (regardless of whom the person is that they fall in love with)? because of other reasons usually as I wouldn’t call their relationships LOVE, they’re just desperate, scared of being lonely How important is trust in a relationship? I don’t think I can trust someone completely but still it’s very important to me to trust them as much as I am capable to - if I can’t trust them at all then it won’t work  How do you feel about infidelity? it makes people feel like they’re not enough and they also get paranoid later, it causes trauma, person who was cheated on will always be afraid to trust another human being in case someone “better” will show up, nobody is perfect but it’s better if you break up than do smth romantic or sexual behind your partner’s back, nobody deserves it, if you can’t be with one person only then either do open relationships or polyamory or just don’t commit to anyone - one night stands or something - infidelity is caused by wanting more and being impulsive, liking adrenaline, risky behavior, you are some sort of an abuser, not just a liar, because you’re hurting someone who’s supposed to be closest to you, intoxication isn’t an excuse, if you can’t keep it in your pants when you’re drunk then don’t drink too much or publicly - simple as that, love is a promise and you’re breaking it for fun, someone said today that it’s like checking if another branch will snap while still holding another - sounds careful but that’s not the point - it’s just that you should sit on it (stability) instead of jumping trees after you already commited to one of them and made a nest on it, you will break all of the branches (other people) and you will end up on the ground anyway - alone, who wants to be with a cheater? honestly - rapist will always stay rapist even if he won’t rape again and so is the cheating person - they might change but fear will always be a part of their partner for sure, dating is like a competition for many, trying until you find the best match, always looking around, never warming up to anyone in case there’s a better opportunity, constant game that make us anxious, showing off you’re the best player among all and... you actually are a player in both of this word’s definitions, sadly What quality in a person do you fall in love with? it’s not a single separate thing but someone whole I believe, I tried to explain that to myself but it’s very hard, there are some traits I might like more, go for, see as necessities but I’m unable to list them for now - maybe later/someday Do you find it difficult to admit that you are wrong, and why? I am - I don’t care about winning, I want truth and justice, I prefer to be right but without admitting I’m wrong that can’t happen Which would you prefer in a romantic partner: a dreamer or an achiever? dreamer, I dislike overly ambitious and workaholic people  What do you think are the two things that prevent people from realizing their dreams? money issues and health problems or time

So the world is dying to know the longest you’ve ever been on an airplane. 0 hours

Speaking of airplanes, can you sleep on them easily or no? no idea

So if I were to touch the place you last itched, would it be awkward? sorta

Have you ever come close to drowning? it was close in my opinion

Is the window in this room currently open or closed? closed

Is your phone fully charged right now? it is indeed

If you gave yourself a symbol (ex: star) to represent you, it would be…? not sure

Combine your two favorite animals. What kind of animal do you get? raccoon + elephant?

If I gave you a box of chocolates, which would you hope to get? I prefer something else than a box of chocolates

Have you ever caught your clothes on fire before? omg luckily not 

Are you any good at improv? been told

Do you have any special handshakes with friends? I don’t have... friends :x

Are you better at writing fiction or nonfiction? I’m good at both but I prefer fiction

How many times does the letter ’t’ occur in your full name? once

Last song you heard? Crystal Castles - Suffocation Reason you last threw up? meds withdrawal How many pairs of flip flops do you own? zero Do you ever pick up pennies for good luck? I pick up all coins that I find and give them to my dad Something you wear all the time that you’d feel naked without? panties

If you have younger siblings, how old were you when your siblings were born? not applicable Would you ever pick up gum from the ground and eat it? hell no Have you ever gotten stitches? nope

Think back to the last thing you drank. Did you drink it using a straw? I didn’t Is the sun shining? it’s almost midnight  Where did you go today? shopping Have you ever taken a survey while under the influence of drugs or alcohol? I don’t drink or take illegal drugs Where will you be in an hour? in my bed Is anyone irritating you? not atm unless I can count myself  Have your parents ever threatened to throw your things away because your room was messy? sorta Is your shirt pink? it’s mostly white Are you going to do more surveys? it’s late and I’m commited to finish this one Who is the most complicated person in your life right now? ... me? Have you ever video chatted with someone you met online? yep Are you hungry or thirsty right now? thirsty Do you own a pair of gumboots? eww, gross Have you ever worked somewhere where you had to clean the toilets? I might  Do you rate people’s attractiveness on a scale of 1-10? rating 1-10 is very hard for me Is there anything that you could cry about right now? shitload of reasons When was the last time you used Facebook? today like every other day Do you have a PO Box or does your mail get sent straight to your house? our house How many vowels are in your street name? 4 Did you share baths with your siblings/cousins when you were a child? I did not Have you ever been a member of an online dating site?  couple Do you know what your neighbours even look like? obvi Do you put ketchup on your fries? yuk

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? uh oh I should check that in my photo album in pics from middle school 

Is your dream job attainable? they ain’t

Have you read a newspaper today? we don’t buy/read newspapers

Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? I’m done with school and am unemployed

Have you ever been to a drive-in theatre? no

Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? guitar

Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? camp

Do you live with your parents? still

Are there any embarrassing school pictures of you anywhere in your house? there are

What moment in your life have you been most scared? constantly now last half year

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? long story

Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I make them but barely ever

Are you more of a phone or a computer person? computer

Do you like to cook, or do you prefer when other people cook for you? prefer them to cook for me 

How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? hope that this will happen soon 

Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? I need one

Have you ever ripped your pants in public? even recently 

Have you ever thought someone was talking to you, but it turned out they were on the phone? Did you play it off? possibly

Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? can we not talk about it?...

Who was the last person you slow danced with? my gf

Do you ever ride the city bus? How much does it cost you? often, nothing as I’m disabled

Do you say ‘like’ a lot? used to

Do you scream out the answers while watching game shows on TV? at times I did

Do you ever go into photobooths? yay!

What bill do you hate paying the most? I’d hate paying rent as it’s idiotically high

What’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? everywhere can be romantic with a right person

What was your first car? none yet

Favorite guilty pleasure? personal

What celeb do you think resembles you best? basing on look? Cole Sprouse or Maisie Williams but with Juno Temple body

Who from high school would you like to run in to? hmm...

Start a new career or relationship? just get a job as I’m taken

Are any of your toes connected? I don’t have webbed toes

What was the last thing you dreamed about? running from the police... w klapkach

What color is your bedroom carpet? no carpet Have you ever had a black and white cat? all black Would you rather have an STD or share a bed with Michael Jackson? life chose for me and honestly this is probably the first time I’m happy about it Do you have any wallpaper in your house? I wish How many pairs of underwear do you own? lots of panties but not enough bras Who was your primary/elemantary school’s most popular girl? E.O. and A.M. Would you like to learn to play the harp? meh Are your feet ticklish? very and I hate that Do you have a black dog? it’s partially black Who has the prettiest toes, that you know of? feet are disgusting  What’s your least favorite season? winter

Do you enjoy walks? sure Can you roll your tongue? I can Would you eat a live spider for one million dollars? gimme Would you forgive someone for cheating? hard to tell Have you seen A Clockwork Orange? not interested Do you like to read? occasionally re you a grumpy person? often Do you like cotton candy? never tried and don’t wanna Rap or pop? pop What’s the weirdest flavor of ice cream you’ve tried? rose, amazing! Love or lust? love Do you remember lyrics easily? am I the only one who don’t? :(

[7deadlycinderellas]

if the summer of our lives could just come again, ch3

AO3 link

 Davos

Leaving Shireen again is the hardest thing he’s ever done.

Waking up in bed with Marya had been surreal enough, it had seemed decades since he had seen her. Going through the keep to encounter all seven of his sons, even Dale, too, had felt nearly like a dream. They’d come to visit, he remembered suddenly. Steffon’s name-day had just passed.

That whole day, he had tried to enjoy it.

When the older boys began to leave, is when he had to set his plan in motion.

Faking summons from Stannis was easy enough, turns out he had been planning to send for him soon anyway. Getting to Dragonstone was also shockingly easy.

Stannis had been his usual self, gruff and straight-forward. He had asked him to help him go over changes to shipping schedules what the effects of the late summer droughts on the tides. It had ended far too slowly.

Then on his way out, he had heard a small laugh.

“I’m supposed to be in lessons, but I had to come see you Onion Knight!”

Shireen was as small as she had been, her arms and legs had not yet begun to lengthen. Her face still bore the roundness of youth, her blue eyes shining.

Davos’s heart seizes as he allows himself to hug her tightly, without breaking. “Not having anymore dragon-dreams are you child?” he asks, remembering the nightmares that had plagued her.

Shireen looks confused. The comet, Davos remembers, her nightmares had begun with the coming of the comet.

“I haven’t dreamed of any dragons, I wish I did though, it sounds more exciting than the boat dreams I’ve had lately.”

He leaves her with just that single hug, trying his best to banish the image in his head of her burning.

Returning home, Davos recalls that Maester Cressen had once suggested betrothing Shireen to Robyn Arryn and sending her to the Eyrie, but Stannis hadn’t agreed.

Davos couldn’t imagine marrying Shireen off to that sickly, ill-tempered boy, but he wondered if he could somehow convince Stannis to let her be fostered somewhere else.

Renly, it hits Davos suddenly. Stannis’s brother had no children, but the court at Storm’s End was always bright and lively, fitting with it’s Lord’s showy and dramatic personality. And perhaps with his daughter so near, Stannis might not wish to lay siege to it.

It ended up, in the end, not truly being difficult at all.

“Storm’s End is the Baratheon ancestral home, it would be good for Shireen to see it. And I think having her around might put some responsibility into your brother, being that he currently has no heirs.”

Stannis’s eyes are hard to read, part distaste, part uncertainty.

“Last he saw her, Renly said she was ugly.”

Davos laughs softly in derision.

“Your brother may be thoughtless, but he isn’t needlessly cruel. Shireen may not be a great beauty, but she is a sweet, good child with a fine mind. She will win Renly over as easy as she won me over.”

He tries not to sound desperate, but Stannis is already speaking of the mystics, and he knows Melisandre may soon come to him.

And Stannis agrees, and Davos feels like maybe he’s won this time. That maybe they will win this time.

A week later, the agreement had been pounded out. Davos wonders if perhaps Renly simply saw a way to one-up his brother, but if it ends with Shireen safe, then it’s good either way.

Stannis asks him to accompany her. He would have offered anyway.

“Where are we going now, Onion Knight?” She asks him.

“We’re going on a quest.”

“Me too?”

“Well we’re going to need someone to read me all the books about all the old quests, so I know how I’m doing it right.”

There’s a touch of disappointment on her face. He takes her by the hand to help her into the wheelhouse.

“I have to go and rescue someone, then we have to ride north and try to stop some monsters.”

“Who are you rescuing? A princess in a tower?”

Davos laughs. Shireen did often have an affinity for the trapped princesses.

“A prince perhaps, though he would likely spit if he heard me call him that. I need to help him get back to his princess.”

Shireen wrinkles her nose.

“Not Prince Joffrey right?”

Davos can’t even imagine a laugh here. If half the stories he’s heard are true, the crown prince was more likely to need people rescued from him.

“No, this boy doesn’t even know what he is yet. But he will rise to greatness anyway. I’d like you to meet him someday, he’s one of your cousin’s actually.”

“What’s his name?”

“Gendry”.

He could remember the boy before, in his cell hopeless and ashamed. He could remember the man he became, who had wanted to help people even before learning he was of noble blood. Davos had believed Danaerys had intended to legitimize him for his heroism during the battle against the dead. She hadn’t had the chance. And part of Davos wondered if he would have even wanted that.

“Why does he need to be rescued?”

Davos sighs deeply.

“Because some people with a lot of power will want to hurt him, and he can’t save himself from where he is.”

A bastard boy on the streets of Flea Bottom. He was beholden to his apprenticeship unless released, and any route out of the city would be fraught with danger. Bandits, pirates, men who might try and sell him, all the worse if anyone got a good look and maybe figured out who he was. Ned Stark had figured out the Queen’s secret easily enough, but it would be a falsehood to say no one in King’s Landing ever questioned her fair haired children before.

“Do you know how you’re going to rescue him?”

That makes Davos smile.

“Do you remember why I told you your father cut off the tips of my fingers before knighting me?”

“Because you were a smuggler?”

“Which means I am excellent at getting things out of places and getting them where they aren’t supposed to be without being found out.”

He put his fingers to his lips to remind Shireen that she shouldn’t tell this to anyone, then taps her on the nose and shuts the door and moves to mount his horse so that they could leave.

He hopes he’s right.

 Sansa

Sansa carries Lady through the hallway and into her chambers. When she turns, she notices Arya sitting on her bed and yelps, dropping Lady to the floor. The wolf, now the size of a regular wolf, gives her a look of disgust, and pads off, taking a step onto the trunk at the end of Sansa’s bed and climbing up to curl up and fall asleep.

Arya cocks an eyebrow.

“I thought you had more nerve than that.”

“What are you doing here?” Sansa asks her, slipping off her shoes and stockings.

“Can I stay with you tonight? I had a bad nightmare last night.”

Sansa sighs, slipping one hand up to undo the ties at the top of her gown.

“Can you help me undo my straps?”

Arya reaches out and yanks the strings, loosening them. Sansa slips out of her gown and into her nightshift with ease before speaking again.

“Should I even ask which one?”

There were so many to choose from that they were both having. The Long Night nightmares, the watching Father get beheaded again nightmares, the ones where going through the anomaly just put them straight back in Hell (Ramsey for Sansa, Harrenhall for Arya).

“The one about Hardhorne. I think I had it because Jon left yesterday.”

Damn. Neither of them had been at Hardhorne, but Jon’s stories were so vivid and descriptive. The piles of bodies being climbed by walkers before they too rose, the people who ran straight into the water, clawing their way towards the boats trying to run. They had both had this one too.

Arya distracts herself by petting Lady.

“You really shouldn’t carry her everywhere now, she’s getting too big.”

“I’ll carry her for as long as I can. It will make me stronger.”

“She’s going to be bigger than you soon.”

“Then maybe someday she’ll carry me instead.”

Arya is quiet after that, and pulls off the cloak she’d thrown over her night shift in case one of the servants came by. She leaves it on the trunk next to Lady.

“Bran told me the Reeds should be here sometime tomorrow.” Sansa tells her as she crawls under her furs.

Arya bites her lip.

“That means we’re going to have to tell everyone tomorrow.”

Sansa laughs hollowly.

“Jon was hard enough...I can’t imagine how we’re going to tell Robb or Mother.”

Arya feels her stomach tighten. She could barely look at Gray Wind when he followed along with Robb after having seen what had become of them before.

“I can’t believe you managed to have the eloquence to tell what we know to Tyrion in just a single letter.”

“Well it was pretty rambling and confusing. I told you, I told him I saw things in visions. That King Robert was in danger, that people would look more closely at Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella. Not to trust a damn thing Littlefinger says. More politics, fewer ice zombies. Besides, I had that trump card to make sure he paid my words due.”

Arya frowns.

“I saw you give him the letter when he was leaving with Jon. What on earth did you tell him?”

She hadn’t been close enough to hear their conversation, But whatever Sansa had whispered in the Imp’s ear had affected him enough that his eyes had gone wide and he’d stood in the same spot, seemingly dazed until Uncle Benjen had prodded him and he’d tucked the letter into his satchel and rejoined everyone.

“I told him the name of his first wife.”

Arya’s surprised.

“I never knew he was married before you.”

“Most people don’t. No one outside his family should know anything about it. That’s why it worked.”

“What happened?”

Sansa smiles grimly.

“It’s not my story to tell. The only reason I think he even told me was because we were in the crypts sure we were going to die that night. Airing our sins and all that.”

Arya rolls over to face her.

“I guess I just don’t really understand your relationship with him. I couldn’t imagine you being so close to someone you were forced to marry.”

Sansa laughs. It is somewhat ludicrous, and her thirteen year old self would have screamed in horror had she known.

“He was forced into it as much as I was, and he was always kind to me. Beyond that, he tried to protect me, to make me feel better about things that happened. Though of course there was no way he could.”

Sansa turns suddenly pensive.

“And I got a front seat to exactly what his family thinks of him. Jamie aside, the rest of the Lannisters seemed to delight in tormenting him as much as they did tormenting than me. And it made me so incredibly angry. He once told me that people were going to spend a lot of time underestimating me, and that ended up being incredibly true too.”

There’s a long silence after, and Sansa really doesn’t want to have to talk about this anymore.

“Get some sleep Arya. Tomorrow’s going to be rough enough as it is.”

Laying all the way back down, she feels Arya shift beside her.

“Uhh, fair warning? I’ve been told I’m an angry cuddler.”

Sansa’s eyes pop back open.

What on earth was an angry cuddler?

She finds out the next morning when Arya has managed to migrate halfway down the bed and wrap both her arms so tightly around one of Sansa’s legs that she’s woken with the limb heavy and prickly, and entirely unable to stand up.

 Bran

Bran wakes, his stomach already in knots.

He gazes out the window, noting the clear skies. He notices Summer isn’t sleeping underneath like he usually did, perhaps he had an early start.

He manages to dress himself, though he only has one pair of breeches that have been cut to fit over his cast. His boot takes the longest, but he laces it up tightly before reaching for the heavy metal crutches Mikken had made for him when it became clear that he was not up for staying in bed until his leg healed.

Hobbling on the crutches had been hard to learn. The splinted wrist was one thing, but he could hardly admit that it had been near on a decade since he had walked properly at all.

So at least he had an excuse for his staggering.

In the hallway, he bumps into Arya, who’s rubbing the back of her head.

“What happened?”

“Sansa pulled my hair until I woke up and let her leg go.”

He’s not going to question that.

Rather than join the rest of the family at breakfast, Bran has Arya slip in and grab them a platter of oatcakes with honey and sliced apples.

“Where are we going?” Arya asks.

“The stables.”

She makes a face.

“They won’t let you ride with the cast.”

“I’m not going to ride,” Bran tells her, “I’m going to see Willas.”

Arya’s stares at him confused for a moment before it hits her.

“Oh, Hodor.”

“That’s not his name,” Bran says roughly. “So I won’t call him that. He died protecting me, that’s the least I can do. Especially since the other is my fault.”

Arya is quiet most of their slow walk out to the stable. Bran has never been overly forthcoming about what exactly happened to everyone north of the Wall.

When they reach the stables Willas is finishing up with the morning chores. The other grooms have already gone down to breakfast, leaving the three of them alone.

“Hodor,” he says, upon seeing them.

“Have breakfast with us,” Bran says, and Arya offers him the platter.

The three of them sit and eat their cakes in silence. Arya licking a bit of honey off her thumb and Bran leaning over to steal one of her apples.

When they’re finished, Willas stands, and with a “Hodor,” leaves them to haul water for the troughs.

Bran chews thoughtfully on his last bite while Arya wipes off the tray.

Arya finally fixes Bran with a gaze while he chews.

“You’ve been weird since you told us the Reeds were probably going to arrive today, so what is it?”

Bran doesn’t say anything, and avoids her eyes.

“Come on, out with it. Sansa said Meera left almost immediately when you two returned to Winterfell, and you didn’t even mention her again. When you lead us down to the Neck, she didn’t even look at you. What in seven hells happened?”

“Nothing. And that was the problem. We were north for, gods it must have been two or three years. Meera helped keep us safe, she hunted to keep us fed. Underneath that tree, she did her best to keep me sane even though she seemed completely lost after Jojen died. After...Everything that had happened to us, everything I had felt...I suddenly didn’t care. I would have died a hundred times over without her, it didn’t matter“

He’s quiet for a long time.

“I remember, the way Meera was looking at me, before I touched the weirwood tree to see what happened at the Tower of Joy. If she had looked at me like that before...I probably would have died of a heart attack. That’s what she said before she left, was that Brandon Stark died in that cave.”

“Well you didn’t, and you’re alive again,” Arya tells him. “So quit acting like you did die. We all get second chances now, that’s sort of the point isn’t it?”

“All three of them have cause to hate me.”

“Well they definitely will if you stay this way when they all show up. So come on, and lets try and prepare.”

She helps him get back onto his crutches and they hobble back to the keep to try and head off the storm.

 Jojen

Jojen Reed was not used to being confused. His prophetic dreams aside, he had always been clever, and good at his lessons. Feeling completely in over his head was not something he was used to.

But two weeks before when he had woken to his older sister running into his room and hugging him tightly he had been completely at a loss for words. Normally, he would have thought she was ill, but when she dragged him down to breakfast, their Father had been in a similar state. Both of them had looked incredibly tired, but somehow energized, with wild looks in their eyes, babbling on about things that didn’t make any sense.

Then they sat down, and tried to tell him, and it made even less sense.

And even after they had left Greywater Watch, it hadn’t stopped.

He wakes the last day of their travels with a feeling of creeping dread in his gut.

And for the first since she lost her mind, Meera seems as unsure as him.

They’re packing up camp, Father leading the horses to water when he finally brings it up.

“You seem anxious. You and Father were so sure we had to go north to Winterfell when we left, now it seems like you don’t want to.”

Meera laughs.

“We were both so sure we had to go north before. And look how that turned out.”

Jojen doesn’t really know what to say to that. She’d told him he had died on the journey before, which explained her exuberant reaction to seeing him again, but it didn’t really explain her despair. True, she had also mentioned that his body had immediately exploded, but still…

“I know you were probably upset that I died…”

“It wasn’t just you,” she cuts him off. “Everyone. The last time I left home, everyone around me ended up dying, you were just the first. We were under there for over a year, I didn’t even know why anymore, but I trusted the Children of the forest. Then the Night King found us and attacked, and they all died. All of that history, and they died. Then Summer died protecting us, and Hodor died so we could get away, and we ran. “

They’ve finished the packs, and so Meera just pokes at the ground with a stick when she finally continues.

“We got back to Winterfell, and it turned out even Rickon and Osha had died after we left them. I wanted to go home, but I didn’t feel like I could. I went to talk to Bran, and it was like he was gone too. Whatever the Raven did to him in that cave, his body was still alive, but what made him him was gone. He was little more than a shell.”

Father returns to the clearing, leading the horses. They begin loading the packs onto them, when Meera continues. Her voice goes quiet, with a tone in it Jojen’s not sure he’s ever heard come from her before.

“I thought what the two of us had gone through- as hard as it had been, I thought it was special. I thought it was important. I don’t know anymore, I still don’t know if it was worth it. The end of the world still came after all. I don’t know what I’ll do if we get to Winterfell and Bran is still...that thing.”

Jojen can’t really say anything to soothe his sister’s words, so he just listens. He supposes that must do some good too.

They ride for a bit in silence. They’re not far, could reach the keep by mid-day easily. Jojen can still feel Meera sitting stiffly in the saddle. They could have taken a third horse, but neither of them are good riders, having not had much way to practice, given that horses don’t suit bogs well.

As the day goes on, he suddenly feels Meera go still.

“Either of you hear that?” She asks, eyes staring straight off into the trees. When neither him nor Father reaction, she slides off the horse, and grasps her spear.

They aren’t far from Winter Town, it could just be another traveler or someone out hunting, but Meera’s muscles are pulled taut as though she expects this to end in a fight.

She’s still, still as a rock upon a cliff, when the leaves of the underbrush shift and a figure emerges from them.

Jojen feels his heart quicken when he realizes the figure is a wolf.

Meera, on the other hand, softens.

“Summer?” She calls out, in an unsure voice.

Both Jojen and their father watch as Meera kneels in the road, and the wolf approaches her slowly, carefully. Jojen watches in amazement as the beast rests it’s muzzle on top of her knees, and she reaches to rub the top of it’s head.

“You did everything you could,” She assures the wolf, “You were your best, you did your best.”

[feliicityrampant]

here’s the first part of a mchanzo fantasy/witch au. it’s ~2800 words. i have a lot of ideas about it so i hope i finish it. it’s not edited much tho. consider it an interest inquiry?

(untitled as of now)

“Do you believe in true love?” Old Mina says, her stout figure blocking out the sun.

Jesse is ten years old, crouched in the bed of her garden with dirt trapped deep under his finger nails. Everyone in the village says Old Mina is a nasty hag who can’t be trusted. Jesse doesn’t understand why he’s being punished this way, why he’s been sent up to weed her garden over a little fist fight.

The adults don’t think the kids in the village hear the stuff they say about Old Mina. They think they’re all scared of her just because she’s mean. But Jesse’s not stupid and neither are the others and they all know. Old Mina is powerful. She’s the strongest witch in the valley, even stronger than the coven leader. Worse than that, though, she’s selfish, and she likes to play games. Nobody wants to be unlucky enough to catch her attention.

So Jesse squints up at Old Mina, her features barely visible when she’s back-lit so heavily by the lowering sun, and he does his best to squash the urge to run. He’s not a coward. And, even if he was, he wouldn’t want her smelling his fear.

“Of course I don’t,” Jesse says mulishly. “That’s girl stuff.” He reaches up and pulls his hat snugger on his head, seeking comfort in the familiar feel of the rough leather.

Old Mina laughs. “Let me see that hand of yours, boy,” she says, and snatches it quick as lightning off the brim of his hat.

She hunches even further, her long nails digging into his palm as she examines it roughly. Jesse is thankful he’s been out working in the sun for the last hour. It’s a convenient excuse for the sweat gathering under her critical gaze. He doesn’t dare move, even to wipe his brow or ease his aching knees.

“You should believe in true love,” Old Mina concludes after what seems like forever. She drops his hand and smiles nastily down at him. “Yours is going to kill you.”

Jesse goes home trembling that evening. When his mother asks him what’s wrong he just shakes his head and goes to bed without dinner. He sleeps fitfully that night and his dreams are disturbed.

It’s a long time before Jesse works up the nerve to talk to Old Mina, not just about what she said, but about other things as well. He’s twelve when he’s brave enough and really has the desire. But by that time, he’s been banished, exiled from the valley, and it’s already too late.

--

Jesse has stopped for a drink in a small nothing of a town out in the foothills of the Black Tip Mountains when he hears about the Shimada.

The mountains are half a day’s journey south and the nearest town on the other side is another day’s journey from the highest part of the pass. It’d be easier and faster with a horse or a mule, but beasts don’t like him much. So he’s having a drink and contemplating his options, staring out through the bar windows at the peaks, dark like ink stains against the blue afternoon sky. He’ll stay in town the night, he thinks, and take off in the morning. Make it through the worst of the trip tomorrow and camp out at the bottom of the pass on the other side. The weather’s been good so far, but at this time of April it’s hard to know what’s coming unless you’ve Seen it.

“…heard about Paulina,” Jesse overhears, mostly by mistake. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“We weren’t very close, but I appreciate it,” another voice says. “I’m just glad we found her in the end. It would’ve been worse for my aunt and uncle, the not knowing.”

“She went missing up on the pass, right?” the first voice asks. “That’s difficult terrain to search. How was she found, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Jesse slides his eyes away from the window and tracks the conversation to its source – two middle aged men at a table in the corner. Their hands are calloused and their clothes are rough. His best guess is that they work at one of the mills along the river. Lumber is the town’s primary economy.

“One of the Shimada found her,” one of them is saying. “Seems like there was a block on the pass and she tried to bushwhack around it. She got lost off the path and there was a mudslide. It carried her halfway down the Prince, into the shadow of the King.”

The three mountains that make up the Black Tips are the Black Prince, the Black King, and the Black Queen. The Prince is the smallest and the only one safe enough to traverse for most of the year. But there’s always bad luck. The man’s companion hums, sympathetic.

“Still,” Paulina’s cousin continues, “the Shimada said she didn’t suffer much. She probably died within the first few moments of the mudslide.” He pauses to take a drink. “He didn’t charge. It was good of him.”

Jesse turns back to his own drink. He should probably reevaluate his plans to cross the pass, anyway, if there’s been mudslides and blocked roads. Normally that would annoy him, but it seems like there are things of interest out here in the middle of nowhere after all. He catches the attention of the bartender who’s wiping down the counter not far from Jesse and motions him over.

“The Shimada,” he says, “they a coven?”

“A coven?” the bartender repeats. “Not really. There’s only the two of them and they don’t have ancestral roots. They’re witches though, and they Keep like a coven does.”

“Hm,” Jesse says, and scratches at his stubble.

Covens are land-bound. It’s important for them to stay as families, tied to the earth where they’ve spilled ritual blood for generations. It’s part of why Jesse’s banishment hurt so much. He’s heard here and there of covens who weren’t land-bound – even been part of one for a short time – but they tend to be migratory, binding to other things, like rivers, or otherwise just going where and doing as they please. It’s weird to hear of one without ancestral roots doing something like Keeping.

Covens that live in or near towns and villages have a bond with the people who live there because those people in turn have a bond with the land. They Keep them, do magic for them, heal their sick and tend their crops, usually in exchange for payment of some kind. Jesse’s coven had been modest and the village it Kept even more so. They worked for food and livestock for the most part. But there were covens in cities and mining towns who were wealthy beyond description.

“Where can I find them?” Jesse asks.

The bartender eyes him a little doubtfully but nods his head toward the river. “Upstream about ten miles or so,” he says. “They have a place right on the river. It’s probably not worth your time, though. Plenty of folks like you have come through here in the past looking for them but they turn ‘em all away. Don’t like big magic, or so I’ve heard.”

Folks like me? Jesse thinks. Big magic?

“Well I won’t bother them none,” Jesse says with a smile, the kind that makes most people trust him, never mind his rough appearances. “I’m just curious, ‘sall.”

Unless they’re as good at tracking as that little conversation has led him to believe. But he keeps that thought to himself.

Jesse cracks his back as he stands and grabs his hat off the counter. He places it on his head, tips it gratefully to the bartender, and leaves a bit more than he owes next to his empty glass.

--

The Shimada residence is certainly upstream about ten miles or so, emphasis on the “or so”, but there’s no clear path and the forest grows thicker and thicker the further from town he gets. He tries to imagine the townspeople making this trip for anything less than a dire emergency but finds it difficult. (Then again, it sounds like they make a habit of crossing the pass, so maybe they’re hardier than they seem.) By the time Jesse emerges out of the woods into the clearing where the small house sits, the sun is getting low and the golden light of dusk is spilling through the trees in intervals, like shards of warm glass.

The building itself is sturdy and old fashioned, with a woven grass roof and dark cedar paneled walls. The whole building is raised slightly, surrounded by an open porch, and the door – made of paper and that same cedar – appears to slide open. Jesse steps up onto the porch and puzzles at the door slightly before deciding to rap lightly on the wood frame. The door jostles a little but the sound isn’t very loud.

When no response comes, Jesse carefully slides his head into the entrance hall. “Excuse me,” he calls. “Is anyone home?”

For a moment, there’s nothing, and then a door slides open down the hall and a man steps out. He’s tall and dark skinned, with no hair and a series of nine dots on his forehead. He’s wearing a yukata and it’s only because the sleeves are rolled and tied up past his elbows that Jesse can tell that he’s not a human at all. There, barely noticeable, are the thin seams along the joints that indicate that this is a construct.

Jesse blinks, caught off guard. It’s been a long time since he’s seen an animated construct in working condition, let alone one in the shape of a human. They’re difficult to make and almost universally disliked. It’s off putting to see one, especially out here, and especially with folks who claim not to like “big magic.”

“Hello,” the construct says. “Forgive me for not coming sooner – we just sat down to dinner.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean to intrude,” Jesse says, eyeing the construct a bit at his phrasing. Constructs can’t eat. “I can come back another time.”

“Ah,” the construct says. “That won’t be necessary. Have you eaten? There’s plenty of food.”

“That’s mighty kind of you,” Jesse grins, not bothering to try to conceal his growling stomach. “Food sounds great. You folks are hard to find.”

He kicks off his shoes in the concrete entrance hall and steps up onto the straw mats of the main hallway. He feels a bit self-conscious – his socks have holes in them and he’s been travelling in them for a long time. They’re probably not much of a step up from his shoes.

The construct leads him back down the hallway to the open doorway and gestures for Jesse to enter. It’s a large, airy room, with more sliding doors that have been pushed open to reveal the porch and, beyond it, the river, which it seems like the house juts out over by a little bit. In the center of the room is a low table surrounded by cushions. Two men are sitting there, eating what looks like a hot pot of some kind.

The man on the left is lounging back, looking at Jesse with open curiosity. He has bright green hair and an open expression – though Jesse knows better than most that looks can be deceiving. He’s wearing a yukata nearly as blindingly bright as his hair, blue and covered in green foliage, hanging open at the chest and thighs probably a bit further than propriety dictates, though Jesse doesn’t have enough familiarity with the garment to say one way or the other. His only point of comparison is the construct and the man on the right.

The man on the right is distinctly more subdued. He sits upright with his legs crossed and a look of displeasure on his face. His black hair is held up in a tight ponytail and his dark yukata is immaculate. Only one thing sets him apart as extraordinary – two coils of bright blue that encircled his neck.

At first Jesse thinks they’re tattoos of some kind, but then they begin to shift, slithering silently across the man’s skin with a kind of languid grace. Two heads appear out of the man’s yukata and begin hissing quietly in his ear. Snakes, Jesse realizes. Familiars, by the looks of them. The man glances at them for a moment, and then back at Jesse. His expression of displeasure does not change.

Although Jesse had eagerly followed the construct at the promise of food, he now again feels as though he’s intruding, and can’t bring himself to sit down at the small table and join what is clearly a modest family dinner. He instead removes his hat and presses it over his heart.

“My apologies for coming at such a late hour,” he says. “Jesse McCree, at your service.”

“Don’t worry about it,” the man on the left says with a grin. “Visitors are always welcome when there’s nothing happening. I can’t even eat when I’m bored.”

The man on the right snorts in an inelegant way apropos to his appearances and the construct hums as though it wants to voice an opinion. Which is impossible. Constructs don’t have opinions.

“I’m Genji,” the man on the left continues, ignoring them. “This is my brother Hanzo. And this is Zenyatta.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, McCree,” the construct, Zenyatta, says.

“Jesse’s fine,” Jesse says. “And the pleasure is mine.”

“Sit down, sit down,” Genji says, patting a free cushion. “Where are you from, Jesse?”

“Uh, here and there,” Jesse says, sinking down onto the cushion as directed. His knees and back ache a bit at sitting on the floor like this. He doesn’t see how the two men who look to be about his age can manage it so casually. Particularly Hanzo, who has a distinguished swath of grey behind his ears. “I’m more interested in y’all, if I’m being honest. Haven’t heard of a coven Keeping without ancestral roots before.”

“That’s none of your business,” Hanzo says peevishly. He sets down his bowl and chopsticks with a click and focuses a glare on Jesse. “If you intend to interrupt our supper, Mr. McCree, you could at least do us the favor of being forthright. What do you want?”

Jesse definitely feels like he can’t eat now, no matter how hungry he is, but the construct – Zenyatta, he reminds himself – has already knelt across from him and is passing him a bowl filled with broth and noodles and mushrooms and beef.

“Don’t be such a buzzkill, Hanzo,” Genji whines. “Can’t you see something interesting when it’s sitting in front of you? How’d you lose your eye, Jesse?”

Jesse reaches up to touch his eyepatch, startled at having it so directly called out. He’s saved the discomfort of having to answer, however.

“Genji,” Zenyatta admonishes in a sharp tone.

“Oops,” Genji says, looking cowed. “Sorry. But it is interesting.”

“Nothing good ever came of interesting,” Hanzo says. “Mr. McCree, please don’t waste my time.”

“It’s just Jesse, if you don’t mind,” Jesse says, although it’s painfully clear that Hanzo does, in fact, mind. “But I heard in town that y’all were good at finding people and I was hoping you could help me track down a comrade of mine.”

“Is she pretty?” Genji asks.

Jesse laughs. “He’s, uh, old, and kind of scruffy, and…doesn’t really want to be found. I’ve been looking for him for about a year now. Heard he might be down near the coast but that’s all I know and it’s just a rumor.”

“That’s far,” Genji says, but his eyes slide over to Hanzo almost at once.

Hanzo can do it, Jesse thinks with a jolt of sudden hope. It’s just a matter of whether or not he wants to.

“I really would appreciate any kind of help y’all can give me,” Jesse appeals. “He’s something like a father to me, y’see, and he’s not exactly. He’s sick. He needs me and he won’t admit it.”

Hanzo sighs and looks out at the river. One of his snakes raises its head and begins hissing again.

“What’s his name?” Hanzo asks.

“Gabriel Reyes.”

If the name means anything to them, they don’t show it.

Hanzo considers a little more. The snakes hiss a little more. It’s eerie. Jesse wishes he could understand what they’re saying.

“What will you pay me?” Hanzo asks.

“Well I don’t have much…”

“That much is obvious.”

“…but we can do an exchange, if you like,” Jesse finishes, unperturbed. “I’m no good at scrying or anything, but I’m a witch in my own right.”

“Oh?” Genji says, leaning forward. “What can you do?”

Jesse eyes them warily and drums his fingers nervously against his thigh. He can feel Hanzo’s eyes burning into the side of his face. He clears his throat.

“I can talk to the dead.”

[babysackville]

Monday 14 August 1826

 8 25/60

1 10/60

§§ §§§§

𝝅’s cousin came last night just as we were getting into bed so that we had no kiss Mariana down about 9 ½ I down to breakfast at 9 ¾ - Dr Macbride came at 10 10/60 - Mariana and I off with him to see sights at 10 20/60 - went direct to Magdalen college saw the chapel handsome and over the alter the best painting in Oxford our saviour in the habit of a Franciscan monk, bearing his cross - given to the college as a [Guido] but now discovered to be by the Spanish painter Morales - Taken from a convent or friary at Vigo - very fine - the blood gently rising from beneath the crown of  thorns, and trickling down the throat and a tear on the right cheek - very admirable - the man held a candle close to the face to shew it - otherwise there was not light enough - then went to the library - handsome gothic vaulted rooms, newly done up, 140 feet long - the books on shelves projecting into the room and forming [xxxx] recesses on each - a good model for a library at Shibden? then looked into the park thro’ the park gate - pretty little park, with deer - the only thing of the kind in Oxford - from Magdalen college went to Merton the oldest here - merely went into the court and viewed the exterior - one part very old very steep roof and very steep-roofed tower - roofed with stone 3 inches thick? surprising how they are put on - no [?] - no appearance of having [been put] on by pins - are they merely laid in line? and the tower of St. Peter’s church the oldest building in Oxford - 

From Merton went to Oriel - just walked round the inner court - the porter very fond of the plants - had completely decorated on each the side of steps with them and sown mignonette at the foot of the walls which was very fragrant - 

From Oriel went to Christchurch - saw the picture gallery - the pictures given by General Guise used to be overvalued - are now perhaps under valued - considered merely copies from the great masters - from the picture gallery mounted the stairs to the library -a very large handsome [Grecian] room - from there went into the dining hall - very handsome - then to the chapel, or rather, Cathedral, where is a fine statue by Chantry (price 2,000 pounds or guineas) lately erected in the place he himself chose for it, to the memory of Cyril Jackson the celebrated dean of Christ’s - and excellent likeness - the pupils of the eyes being marked out as [excavated] - gives a strange expression to the countenance - handsome church - 

From here (a very few drops of small rain for 2 or 3 minutes) went to the Radcliffe library - a very handsome rotunda - some good models of the most famous antique statues - ascended by a winding staircase to the leads - whence a fine view of the city and surrounding country - the view ought not to be missed - 

From here to the Bodleian library - first to its picture gallery - perhaps the most interesting picture a copy of the school of Athens (designed and executed by Raphael) - some good copies of Raphael’s cartoons - the originals at Hampton Court - ought to be seen some fine plaster of Paris models of the celebrated Grecian temples - 300 pounds worth - from the picture gallery went to the Bodleian library its occupying a suite of rooms - from Paris - inquired there about the artist who did them - the same floor all round the quadrangle court - the library very comfortable - the book-shelves forming recessed on each side shut up by [xxxx] trellis-work, and forming very long reading closets - shewed us queen Elizabeth’s Latin exercise book, and some beautifully illuminated missals - a thousand a year spent on books besides the priv[?] granted by parliament of claiming one copy of every work published - they do claim a copy of every work worth claiming - 

From the Bodleian went to the declaiming theatre - just newly painted - the workmen still in it - the most beautiful rooms we ever saw - an amphitheatre - will hold 3,000 persons - 3 fine pictures of his first Majesty the Emperor Alexander of Russia, and King Frederic of Prussia who all visited the theatre together, were presented with the degree of Dr. and gave the pictures - the theatre painted in the foreign style by 1st rate London painter - in imitation of oak and sienna and other marble and a deep skirting board of red porphyry - very handsome - very beautiful - 

From here went to the museum - introduced to Mr. Duncan there - very civil and obliging - the Duncan who had done so much good in Bath and hereby forwarded all sorts of works of charity and benevolence - the museum not large or rich - a fine magnet of 120 or 130 lbs. power - a good model of the serpent temple at Abury - Professor Buckland now abroad - asked Dr. McBride what he thought of Granvill Pen’s work (on Geology) he had not read it - but Buckland said it was an absurdity - it is much against Buckland’s theories - 

From the museum Dr. McBride saw us home and left us at 4 10/60 - went immediately upstairs and washed our hands but made no change in our dress - 𝝅 wanted change of linen on account of her cousin - Talked a few minutes to my aunt and got to the Macbrides to dine at 5 - Dinner almost immediately of which Mariana observed very good to eat but in bad taste -  boiled salmon at the top removed by a couple of roast ducks - 2 man servants apparently hired for the time - good port and I think Vidonia - got up from table about a little after 6, and Dr and Mrs McBride and their only child, a girl of perhaps 16 or 17 lamentably deaf from her birth (a wonder she speaks ever so well as she does) 

Walked with us after showing us his own Magdalen hall, and library to New college chapel very pretty small but neat and comfortable and the dining hall handsome, in which a bust of Chichele by Roubillac more admired by Chantry than anything of the kind in Oxford from New college went to the large and handsome library of All Souls - 

Then to St. John’s where we just peeped into the gardens and then walked a little farther along St.Giles’s (so like a Parisian boulevard) and then returned to the Macbrides’ to tea - tea and coffee almost immediately - Sat a while very sociably - 

Dr. McBride walked home with us, and we came in at 9 - Miss. McBride the Doctor’s sister staying with them - Mariana thought she must have been handsome once - not so now - none of the party very neatly dressed - Mrs. McBride singular - odd - not like a gentlewoman - Dr. McBride very civil and attentive, may be very learned, but I heard nothing fall from him from which one should per force have guessed - Mariana thought him heavy - Professor of Arabic but few peoples study it - says he does not know enough of it to be a judge of its beauties - Persian not a difficult language - not like an Eastern language - originally of Europe - of Tartar origin with many Arabic words engrafted as we have engrafted Latin words on English - but knows not much of it - has not read it these 20 years - Has 35 rooms for students in his hall - 10 guineas a year paid for rooms and 10 guineas for the tutor and 10 guineas more will pay all expenses of college servants - a student may live very cheaply if he chooses Christchurch the largest and most expensive college but £500 a year quite enough for a gentleman commoner there - 19 colleges 5 halls in Oxford - difference between them is a college is chartered is a corporate body can use and be used in a court of law, and hold property itself - a hall is not chartered - not a corporate body - property must be held in trust for it - all the colleges and halls will not hold more than 2,000 - about 1,5000 students here - the rest fellows, canons, &c - no student allowed to lodge out of college or halls as at Cambridge - if there were accommodations perhaps there might be 300 or 400 more students here, but not more - tho’ allowed to lodge out, not more students now at Cambridge than here - a few instances of men of 30 and married studying here, and in this case they are allowed to lodge out of college - very fine day - pleasant - not much rain - the moonlight on the buildings as we returned home tonight beautiful - the Mcbrides go to Windsor tomorrow at 9 a.m. - take the coach - the whole inside - to be back on Friday to see Miss. Pickford - I dont know what to make of it it does not look very haut ton - O. - wrote all the above of today I had just done it at 11 - went up to bed at 11 20/60 

(Diary reference: SH:7/ML/E/9/0141-0142)

[blackwomenconfessions]

English isn’t my native tongue and I feel really lazy, so I’m going to make it quick. I am alone and lonely at the same time, I have no friends like I have messenger, snap, instagram, twitter, tumbler, even fucking tinder( lol to fill the emptiness inside of me with some men’s attention tbh, I don’t really care about none of these dudes and even on tinder, I may have a lot of dudes who seem into me, nobody is talking to me), I can’t make friends at my job because I just cannot trust these people. The closest person I am at my job is this white girl who’s like the boss favorites but she is kinda hypocrite and I don’t know I don’t really trust the girl. My family never calls me, like my parents call me like 2 times a month maybe, but my two other sisters ? It’s like I don’t exist to them. And oh let’s not talk about my aunts and my cousins who live in the same area as me, they don’t want to fuck with me, not even a bit. One of my aunt came to my job( i work in clothes store) and I was like so happy to see her and she just ignored me. In August, I had no more money left so I couldnt eat, and I asked my cousins and aunts to help me ( in christmas time, let’s call her aunt 1 told me that if i need food and help i can call her, that’s what i did and her son barely help me ) and like yeah i’m not even going to continue on this that is too disappointing for me lol. My family doesn’t financially and emotionally help me and that shit hurts. My sister is probably “ wealthier” than me ( we both live on our own, im 18 almost 19 btw and my sis is 22 i think) and i asked for one damn dollar one day( i wanted to see her reaction) and she said no. So that tells you a lot about my family.

Friends now. HA HA HA. i feel miserable, at my job no one wants to fuck with me idk why, everytime i talk to them at break they are doing shit on their cellphone. My friends from other cities, they never talk to me. There was this white bitch who came back in my life and like i really liked her and we were good friends but i’ve noticed that that she was always being dramatic and making the convo about her like even when i was like feeling down she was like “ okay why it is right now who tell me this??? You dont trust me???” like i need emotional support dumbass right now, not a fuckinng lesson. And she gives these super rainbow calinours advices that we all know that cant help, and since she have her boyfriend, she just stopped to talk and she told me she will never let me down and she is and im not even being dramatic about and like aaahhhh fuck off. My life is just shit. The two “ friends” that are the same area as me is this lightskin girl but she is like so toxic and disrespectful but at the same time, she is the only one who can chill me with me and stuff and she’s kinda cool and the other one is an asian who is cool but like she always want to go in a bar and get drunk, i dont like spending my money. When i am in bars with her, she is the one who get all of the attention so no.


The people around me suck, i am not the attractive kind of black girl, i am self centered and kinda of narcissic, and like i really need help. I am not in college, i took like few months to relax myself from college but i want to go back in winter if they accept me but im scared as fuck. I applied to an anglophone college and maybe y'all dont feel concerned about this because this blog is predominantly african american but as a franco canadian this is a big challenge for me. The college i go to is not only super anglophone but like most people there are fucking rich kids from the suburbs and i’m not. I live on my own, i pay on my shit, since im 16.

You know what scares me the most? Is to be alone but like forever. I will never find true love dont fucking tell that i will because that is a lie that im tired to believe in. Like yo, im not your typical black girl. Full 2017 trendy dressed, with beautiful loose curl and a random straight wave with makeup on point, and big curves, im not like that. I am not trying to brag here but i really do believe im different from most black girls and that is a good and bad thing. People expect me to be extravertie and funny but i just cannot be like that, not everyone understand my humor sense, anyway. And yeah, this is mean but i dont like to waste my time talking to unecessary people if there’s not something in it for me, right??my personality is horrible as well as my looks and i reallly dont think a men will find a once of beAuty in me. I forced myself into loneliness because i dont want to have hope and get disappointed. The last dude i like “ dated” is on fucking hard drugs and want to become a girl ( not because he’s trans tho because he wants to “ experience” and he’s tired of his masculinity) ohh good lord, i hate seeing these average boring lightskins or black or asian girls getting all the men and like people seem to easily like them. I make one fucking mistake at my job and everyone be hating me for this. Jesus christ, how other black girls deal with being … a black girl? Im 18, caribbean, franco canadian and black and i’ve always have problems because i am francophone and black and a girl. Can someone help me. I have my first appointement with a therapist soon ( like tomorrow, we are the october 9 today) and i hope this wont be useless and will lead me to something good. Most therapist i met, just let me down and disappeared.

To fill my lack of daily love and cuddles and attention, i decided to focus on money and grades. But i know that one day, when i’ll be really wealthy i’ll miss being with people. 
Im getting bad and bad and bad. I started AGAIN to cut and to bleach. This time im using lemon and baking soda instead of buying toxic shit, doesnt seem to work tho…


I need comfort please 
Help me

[whatdoesshedotothem]

: Wednesday 13 May 1835

8

11 ½

No kiss  A-‘s cousin came on Monday afternoon. Rainy morning F52 ½° at 9 am breakfast at 9 10 in ½ hour - Mr Harper from 10 to 2 ½ - expected Mr Freeman at 11 but he did not come - shewed Mr Harper the outbuildings - arranged about the plan of Northgate - he had brought ½ dozen designs of Lodges nicely done - one after the manner of the gate at Kirkham pleased me best - left Mr. H- a little while between 1 and 2 while he dined - he is to write to Mr. Freeman to  consult him about the stone work, and let me know by letter when he (H-) will be here again - hopes to be ready for laying the 1st stone by the 1st of next month - asked him (explaining fully what sort of persons wanted) to look out for a man for me and Sunday school mistress for A- - he seems likely enough to help us - a quick, apparently clever well mannered young man - I hope we shall al go on very well - he is a good sound blue (conservative) he and his brother, an attorney in York, will both have votes by and by for the city of York and all the 3 Ridings - about an hour with A- till 4 trying to help her to make out papers of 1630 or 40 or thereabouts - then with my father and Marian - Off at 4 40 to yew trees to see the great gin horse I bought of Briggs - much improved since Mark had him - washed him twice at 1st with ½ lb. soft soap each time and hot water to get the lice off - the horse almost starved (ill fed) to death to go to Huddersfield fair tomorrow  and be exchanged or sold, or done the best with possible - said I should be glad to take £8 or £10 for him or give about as much with him in exchange for a good stiff thing not exceeding 15 hands that would to for George to ride, or go in the gin - rained a little in going and much all the way back came in at 6 ½ - found Mr Freeman and his son who had been here about an hour and were impatient to be gone - they had wine and staid till 7 ½ - F- cannot execute the stone work - if he did, his men would not work for him! he and 2 sons cannot manage 250 men now as well he could 500 on beginning business - pays about £500 a month in wages  - the men ought to earn £800 Lord Morpeth and such men have spoilt everything - the men are the masters and the masters then men - he durst not tell them his mind now - has been busy [canvassing] all the last week - could hardly keep his votes together - we must all stick together or those that have anything will lose it - thinks Mr. H- a nice young man - talked about the quarry in Upper Place Land - it would not answer for me to have what I want from there - should have all the stone of one quality and colour - could not get it all there - and it would not pay to cut all into wall stones - parpoints undressed selling at Southowram at 4/6 a rood - delivered at N- (by F-) at 19/.  a

SH:7/ML/E/18/0034

rood insides and outs (i.e. 1 rood walling complete) - consulted him about letting the quarry in Upper place Land - ready to advertise anytime -  the lowest lift running itself out - but the upper lifts good stone - a great deal of stone had come out of the hole - much he found on turning to the books than he ever thought of - would give 5/. a yard for the stone - I made no observation on this - he said 6/. a yard the last time we talked of price - he advised the handbills to state that the stone should be got in a workmanlike manner - the soil to be reserved and kept separate to itself and the land to be formed again to the proprietors’ satisfaction - the stone to be measured at every hole one foot from the top of the low bed - the rent to be paid for such measurements (of stone got) every six months - to employ not less than 3 getters - to give the tenants the carting - I asked if there was not good stone under Joseph Hall’s land - yes! stone that would pay for a new house building -what wroth per yard? 4/. I merely observed that good as the stone was, it was still not worth so much as the stone in upper Place land tho’ the low lift is wearing itself out - so say there will be (in upper Place land) 2000 yards - 1500, 1200 - 500 - F- thinks there will be from 1200 to 1500 yards - changed my things (wet) - dinner at 7 ¾ - coffee and sat talking - when Clark arrived this afternoon about 6 or after - sent for him - spoke to him - well enough pleased with his appearance - told him I should leave him to A- and then went to my aunt for 40 minutes till 10 ¼ - fine day till about 5pm and afterwards rainy evening - asked Mr Harper this morning if he knew Gilpin - no! Mr Gray who did the Swiss scenery at the colosseum in London and who is much employed at Clumber Park (duke of Newcastle) is very clever - will be in York in a week or 10 days - lives in Hampstead Road, London - said if he would take here in his way to London for 5 guineas and give me his opinion of the approach road etc I should be if Mr Harper would tell him to come - Mr H- thought G- would be glad to come for a day for 5 guineas - so he is to be told to come.

[jxkewxrd]

200 Things About Me

200: My crush’s name is: John. (Fischer) @fxscher
199: I was born in: 1999
198: I am really: fucking fun 
197: My cellphone company is: Verizon
196: My eye color is: Brown
195: My shoe size is: depends on brand. Nike: 15 Adidas: 14 
194: My ring size is: idfk lol
193: My height is: 6’ 2’’
192: I am allergic to: poison ivy 
191: My 1st car was: 2001 toyota camery
190: My 1st job was: Dishwasher at a Buffett Restaurant 
189: Last book you read: The Soloist 
188: My bed is: comfortable 
187: My pet: my dog, Harlee
186: My best friend: @fxscher also my boyfriend
185: My favorite shampoo is: well my mom does hair so idk
184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox all the way
183: Piggy banks are: overrated 
182: In my pockets: are black holes
181: On my calendar: blank months
180: Marriage is: a huge goal of mine and im so excited for it
179: Spongebob can: run me over in his boat and i would thank him 
178: My mom: is the best in the world even tho we have many disagreements. Love her
177: The last three songs I bought were? None bitch tf i have spotify premium 
176: Last YouTube video watched: uhm for sure the music video for camp rock “we cant back down” 
175: How many cousins do you have? Bitch i don’t know, a lot
174: Do you have any siblings? Twin brother. Little brother. Little sister. 
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope
172: Are you taller than your mom? For sure
171: Do you play an instrument? Do i look like a band/orchestra kid lmaoo
170: What did you do yesterday? I don’t even remember what I did 20 min ago stop

[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: of course
168: Luck: yes
167: Fate: yes
166: Yourself: uh yes bitch
165: Aliens: universe is too small to not believe
164: Heaven: YES
163: Hell: Eh
162: God: OF COURSE 
161: Horoscopes: yes
160: Soul mates: yes
159: Ghosts: yes
158: Gay Marriage: im gay so yes hoe
157: War: uh yeah 
156: Orbs: yes
155: Magic: yes duh

[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: both bitch
153: Drunk or High: why not BOTH 
152: Phone or Online: online
151: Red heads or Black haired: neither lmao
150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes but im gay so
149: Hot or cold: bitch. Hot for sure but christmas isnt christmas without cold weather 
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: here in ohio we call it “fall”
146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 
145: Night or Day: both
144: Oranges or Apples: apples
143: Curly or Straight hair: dont care
142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdicks bitch
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: is that racist😉 jk but forsure white chocolate 
140: Mac or PC: MAC
139: Flip flops or high heals: neither lmao
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: how and RICH AND SWEET fuck the sterotype 
137: Coke or Pepsi: COKE-aine 
136: Hillary or Obama: obama lol
135: Burried or cremated: uhm idk idrc i lowkey wanna be cremated and thrown in the ground with some tree seeds 
134: Singing or Dancing: both
133: Coach or Chanel: chanel
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they
131: Small town or Big city: big city
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither
128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk
127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast for sure 
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: dont care enough
125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers i dont need to be happy AND fat
124: Disney or Six Flags: havent been to either
123: Yankees or Red Sox: this is tumblr we dont care about sports on here

[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: i dont care #MakeAmericaGreatAgain
121: George Bush: fuck u
120: Gay Marriage: yes bitch we do what we want
119: The presidential election: i love donald trump
118: Abortion: under certain circumstances should it be okay. If you’re doing it bc you fucked up, that child doesnt deserve to not have a life because of your poor choices sorry
117: MySpace: dumb
116: Reality TV: love it
115: Parents: love them but back tf off
114: Back stabbers: i’ll fucking ruin your life 
113: Ebay: what
112: Facebook: hi
111: Work: love my job so much
110: My Neighbors: ok this bitch who lives next to us is psycho and wants to literally BE my mom i feel like im in an LMN movie sometimes
109: Gas Prices: fucking really dude like go back to the way they were before the hurricanes 
108: Designer Clothes: LOVE LOVE LOVE
107: College: I love it so much can’g wait to graduate 
106: Sports: dumb
105: My family: love them
104: The future: ony God knows, he has a plan for me

[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: idfk
102: Last time you ate: like 2 hrs ago
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today
100: Cried in front of someone: months
99: Went to a movie theater: months
98: Took a vacation: June
97: Swam in a pool: August 
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: never
94: Went to a wedding: years ago
93: Broke a bone: never
92: Got a peircing: never
91: Broke the law: idk today i guess when i went 60 in a 35
90: Texted: hour ago

[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: my dog bruh and my boyfriend and sometimes cece😉
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog and my mom
87: The last movie I saw: Norma Rae
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: a future with my boyfriend
85: The thing im not looking forward to: being poor when im out of college
84: People call me: gay
83: The most difficult thing to do is: ignore the negativity 
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: taurus
80: The first person i talked to today was: john
79: First time you had a crush: bitch i used to be heartless 
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: john or gabby 
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: lost brain cells thinking about this
76: Right now I am talking to: no one
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: own my own coffee franchise or ya know get rocognized for something dumb and get famous 
74: I have/will get a job: yes i work at subway
73: Tomorrow: i work
72: Today: i worked
71: Next Summer: im gonna work
70: Next Weekend: im gonna work
69: I have these pets: dog
68: The worst sound in the world: dfc
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: not one person has made me cry in 5 years
66: People that make you happy: my boy
65: Last time I cried: like 5 min ago bc tears of happiness thru music
64: My friends are: the best i’ll ever have
63: My computer is: if only i had one
62: My School: Mount St. Joseph University 
61: My Car: needs a little work
60: I lose all respect for people who: are rude af
59: The movie I cried at was: too many
58: Your hair color is: brown
57: TV shows you watch: usually pretty little liars
56: Favorite web site: 😉
55: Your dream vacation: sicily, italy 
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i wanted to kill myself for like 5 years
53: How do you like your steak cooked: idk 
52: My room is: simple, classy n cozy
51: My favorite celebrity is: like really idk
50: Where would you like to be: sleeping
49: Do you want children: maybe
48: Ever been in love: yes
47: Who’s your best friend: my bf and gabby and cece
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: eating healthy and drinking coffee
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my boy
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: ya
41: Have you pre-named your children: ya
40: Last person I got mad at: the person who accused my bf of sexual assault 
39: I would like to move to: a beach
38: I wish I was a professional: in BUSINESS

[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: ew
36: Vehicle: blacked out range rover
35: President: Donald Trump
34: State visited: Florida
33: Cellphone provider: verizon
32: Athlete:dc
31: Actor: dc
30: Actress: dc
29: Singer: Cardi B, Post Malone, Halsey, Migos god damn so many
28: Band: dc
27: Clothing store: anything name brand
26: Grocery store: kroger hoe
25: TV show: pretty little liars
24: Movie: the hunger games movies
23: Website: hmm
22: Animal: idk
21: Theme park: kings island
20: Holiday: halloween/xmas
19: Sport to watch: nope
18: Sport to play: volleyball
17: Magazine: idk
16: Book: Looking for Alaska
15: Day of the week: saturday
14: Beach: yes yes yes yes, santa rosa 
13: Concert attended: lana del ey
12: Thing to cook: anything 
11: Food: i love all food fwm
10: Restaurant: skyline
9: Radio station: idk
8: Yankee candle scent: anything seasonal
7: Perfume: idk
6: Flower: idk
5: Color: blue
4: Talk show host: i dont know do i look 50
3: Comedian: idk
2: Dog breed: german shepard 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes bitch

[crankysmiles]

The Date (Tyler Scheid x reader)

Pairing: Tyler Scheid x fem!reader

Request: 26 from prompts with Tyler x fem!reader? Thanks!!!

Prompt: "there's no 'we' in fries"

Warnings:

Summary: The reader is on a first date with Tyler in a cute little 50′s diner restaurant and she order fries, and well.. let’s say she isn’t so willing to share. 

A/N: Small update that I won’t be able to post any imagines/fics for three weeks after this weekend since I’m going out of town for family things for two weeks, and then a week at camp with a friend. So if you want a request please have them in at least by Thursday so I can work on them and have them posted before I leave. Also I might be starting a series about Ethan tonight or tomorrow, whenever I get requests done lol. HERE’S THE FIC NOW THO

--

It was a rather breezy night, the sun was setting and you were walking by Tyler. You two had met at his tour which you had gone to see for your little cousin who had been a big fan of Markiplier and the team.

It was after the show and you had some passes to go back stage and meet them. Your cousin ran up and immediately started interacting with them all. You had your eyes on Tyler who soon approached you.

“I didn’t know fans could be backstage..” He crossed his arms, smiling at your cousin who was talking to Ethan. You laughed slightly, shaking your head.

“They’re not, it’s just my family is friends with someone who works on the crew. They found out my cousin was a big fan and hooked their family up with passes, and I volunteered to take him. I had nothing better to do since my summer is basically open 24/7..” You glanced at Tyler, who was smiling widely at you. Soon your little cousin ran up to you and him. You pulled him closer with your arm leaning on his shoulder, and your cousin smiled widely and waved at him.

“Hi Tyler!! You were really funny tonight!!” Tyler thanked him, talked a bit and he ran off to finally talk to Mark. You turned back to Tyler, and he looked back at you.

“Well since you know that my name’s Tyler, may I know yours?” He crossed his arms again, he seems to do that a lot. You chuckled, putting your hands in the back pockets of your jeans.

“My name’s Y/N,” You held out your arm and shook his hand, “It’s great to finally meet you! And you really did do great up there.” You complimented him while nodding at the stage.

“Thanks, glad you could make it. Are you two from here?” Tyler said, referring to you and your cousin. You shook your head and looked at your family member interact so fondly with everyone. 

“No this is the closest we are from L.A. which is where I live.” Tyler nodded his head in understanding. After a few more minutes of conversing the tall man ended up asking you out. Since you lived in the same city you agreed. Finally after the tour ended and Tyler texted you, you went out for your date. 

After finally getting seated and ordering your drinks, you two looked at the menu. Grazing your eyes over everything, you weren’t especially hungry so you ordered a small burger and extra fries. Tyler ordered a bigger burger but not as much fries. You two waited getting to know each other. Luckily it wasn’t extremely awkward and you two got along quite well. The great conversations carried on as you received and ate your food. Tyler ate everything quickly, but you were just getting to the fries you ordered. You saw a hand reach out towards your plate.

You smacked it.

A small gasp and giggle erupted from your lips. Covering your mouth, you looked up at Tyler who practically had his mouth hanging open. Furrowing his eyebrows and laughing slightly he held his hands up defensively. You continued laughing even harder.

“I.. am SO sorry Tyler! Ahahah i just... oh goodness.. my reflexes... I never meant to hahah..” You held your head in your hands but looked at him again while taking a sip of your drink. He couldn’t help but laugh also. 

“It’s alright don’t worry, I’m just wondering.. we can’t share fries??” He questioned you, also taking a drink of his soda. You were bewildered, almost slamming down your drink you held your hand against your chest, acting like you were seriously offended. He seemed to buy it. 

“There’s no ‘we’ in fries.”

This is when Tyler burst out into loud laughter. You raised your eyebrows surprised, slightly giggling also. Whenever he finished his fits of laughter you questioned him.

“What’s so funny big guy?” Tyler looked at you, genuinely happy yet sort of confused. Once again, you raised an eyebrow, waiting for a response. Finally he spoke.

“I know this is only the first date, and this has honestly been the best night I’ve ever had. It’s been absolutely awesome, and just with that fry incident.. I really see a future with us Y/N. I feel something that I’ve never really felt with any other girl I guess..” He scratched his neck awkwardly, looking out the window to avoid your gaze in case of rejection. You cracked a smile and put your hand on his, to at least calm his nerves a bit. 

“I feel the same way, I kinda have since when I first met you, Tyler..” You confessed and Tyler gave a grin also. You two once again started talking, Tyler paid for the check (despite your attempts to pay for at least half) and you guys started making your way home. Only because you lived nearby, and you stood on your doorstep looking at him fondly.

“I had a great time with you Ty, we should do it again sometime.” Tyler nodded in agreement, telling you he felt the same. You kissed him lightly, walked inside after telling him goodbye. You closed the door and leaned against it, slowly sliding down grinning widely. This was the best. night. ever.

[itsmunkychoi]

05/23/17 I have been so busy these past few weeks. I have been on my feet and on the run since I moved here. My feet have been swollen for the past three days because I barely get to sit. Lester had been AMAZING. He practically has been coming down here almost everyday. He’s been buying things for the business and over stocking the fridge. Sometimes he has to pull over on the highway and nap for 20 minutes because he’s so exhausted. I told him not to come until Friday because he needs to rest. This past weekend we spent it together in Brooklyn as well as last weekend. We had a late mothers day dinner which we did yesterday night in Brooklyn. But most of the time we spend the weekends here in the Bronx. Lester and I also went touring schools for Caleb and we found a really nice one close by. He starts in July. The goal is to save enough money to buy a house so that by the time Caleb starts elementary school next school year we are all settled in and are more comfortable. Maybe even get Caleb a therapy dog. I finally got my license renewed a week ago. I got all of our physicals done while I was in Brooklyn this past weekend. Now all I have to do is buy the last few things that I need for the daycare which are two small fire extenguishers, one more baby gate, 6 toddler sized chairs, cabinet locks, stove knob protectors and decorations to hang up on the walls to make the place look more like a classroom than it already does. I also have to install the gate on the fire escape exit and I have to buy two exit signs. Which reminds me, I also have to buy a cover for the steam so that in the winter the kids don’t get burned. Lester says he will help me by these things this weekend. After I have all of these items I will then submit my paper work so that the city could inspect me and I could be legally open for business. My plan is to sign up with an agency so that I could get more clients. I’m also going to sign up with the food program. Hopefully I’m approved for $1K or more a month because food is expensive. But so far that’s where I’m at with the business. It feels so weird everytime I’m filling out paperwork and I’m ask what my job is I say “I have my own business” and check off “self employed.” I still have the one client that ive been caring for for over two months now but I’m excited to see my business grow. A name has been picked out and everything. Now on to my boys. Noa is speaking, like actually SPEAKING! He says the funniest things. It’s so cute watching him express himself with his own words. The way that he speaks let’s me understand how he sees the world. For example since Caleb is still non verbal he's humming sounds in between words that he can say. If it’s Caleb turn to do something he will say “uh uh turn!” Sometimes Caleb tells Noa that is his turn just to piss him off and Noa will make an angry face and say “no Caleb! It’s my uh uh turn!” Lmaooooo. Caleb will laugh so hard. But anyway, I can have actual conversations with Noa and explain things to him in a way that he could understand. It’s so facinating. One big rule that I have for my boys is that I don’t lie. I never promise them sonething and not do it or buy it. It has paid off because now they trust me when I say something. I see parents trying to calm their toddlers by promising them ice cream or candy and then they never get it for them. That’s why the kid doesn’t care when you try and bribe them because they know you’re a lier and are not going to get it for them. Some parents tell me it’s not a big deal or they’re just kids. But kids are underestimated. If you teach them that lying is OK then guess what they’re gonna do? You’re also teaching them not to trust you. So yes, it is a big deal. Someonr tried to say something to my kids about buying them ice cream or something to try and settle them down and I instantly went up to my kids and said, “no, that’s false information. You are not getting ice cream today.” The person looked at me like WTF? And I told them I don’t lie to them. But I told my kids that the next day daddy and I would buy them ice cream. Which was good enough for them. The next day we got them ice cream as promised and guess what……they didn’t eat it…..lol. but they were excited to get it along with a doughnut which was good enough for me. So now if I have to go out and I have to leave the boys behind with my cousin then I just tell then I promise to bring you back a doughnut and they’ll say good bye. As soon as I come home I better gave that doughnut tho. On to Caleb, he’s starting to echo words better which is awesome. His tantrums sometimes are manigable but some days it’s torture. He still cries all day. Sometimes his tantrums could last half an hour or an hour. Then he will stop for a few minutes and start at it all over again. His eating is so much better. He is on the 10% on weight now which he has never been. He was always on the 3% for weight. I’m very proud of myself for working so hard with his eating and I’m proud of him for actually eating and mixing his food. Today he had beans and white rice mixed together!! He is almost 29 lbs. Time to go shopping for size 4t clothes! Now here’s the big announcement. Caleb has had diahrreah on and off for two days. The last few hours he has had diahrreah about 4 times. His butt got a little irritated so I put ointment on it but he refused to wear a diaper but it was bothering him. I put a pull up on Noa but it felt weird to him and he wouldnt want to pee in it. So I told both if them “OK if you guys need to pee but you don’t want to wear your pull ups then you’re gonna have to do pee pee in the potty.” So I walked them over to the potty. Noa sat down first and peed. I was thrilled and I let him know by exaggerating my happiness and said “oh my goodness Noa did you do that?” He beamed and squealed “I did that Noa!” He’s still working on sentence structure. Caleb saw how happy I was and said “uh uh turn.” He then sat down on the potty and did his business. He then looked at me for approval and I smiled. Then he said “wow, pee pee too?” And I said “yes you did that’s AMAZING!” He was so proud of himself. He did pee pee in the potty about 3 times. Noa did it 2 times. I’m so proud of them. My babies are growing!! I called Lester and told him, he was sad that he missed it, but I promised to call him on video call the next time we do a potty break so that he could see. Tomorrow is another day so I’m going to hit the hay. Btw, the kids were saying good night when I took this picture. (They got a haircut finally!)