#my comfort group for sure
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So this is love?
#bts#bangtan#kim namjoon#prince of my heart#kim seokjin#world wide handsome#universe wide handsome#min yoongi#king of my heart#jung hoseok#my sunshine my hope#park jimin#kim taehyung#taebear#jeon jungkook#sweet baby koo#i love them so much#they mean so much to me#my comfort group for sure#i miss them sm rn#i can't wait for 2025#💜💜💜
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Irondad fic ideas #154
CW: this one's pretty gruesome. read at your own risk
Peter is a young child who's been kidnapped. His parents and/or his aunt and uncle were killed and he was taken. Along with a bunch of other little kids, he's been held captive and experimented on.
When the Avengers suddenly bust the kidnapping operation, the kidnappers try at the last second to destroy their research. They gas the small room where the kids are being held.
It's Iron Man who ends up blasting through. What he finds is horrifying. All but one of the children are dead.
The one who's left is just sitting among the bodies, crying, shocked, terrified. Iron Man carries him out of there, then once they're safe from the gas Tony steps out of the suit to comfort the kid while he's given oxygen.
Little 5-year-old Peter Parker imprints on his savior hard.
He just went through an unimaginable amount of trauma, then Iron Man burst through like an avenging angel. This is the first time he's ever felt protected in his memory. Tony holds the crying kid, and the kid can tolerate no one else near him.
This becomes a slight problem when they get back to base. But Tony can't find it in him to let SHIELD take the kid away, let them strip him of this one tiny bit of comfort. He keeps seeing all those other kids when he closes his eyes.
This one needs him right now. And if "right now" eventually becomes "this is my son," well. Who could've predicted that.
#sing it with me: codependency irl is bad but reading it in fic heals me on fundamental levels#give me separation anxiety peter! fiercely protective suddenly-a-parent tony!#irondad fic ideas#irondad and spiderson#btw sorry this is so gruesome y'all#cw: violence#idk is that the right tag?#just this image of peter being the only one of a whole group to survive wouldn't leave my brain#then him imprinting on his rescuer instantly#how tony might struggle with emotional vulnerability normally but wouldn't hesitate to comfort this child#iron dad and spider son#peter parker#tony stark#also imagine the moment a few months in when peter finally asks tony to be his dad#tony (crying): sure I can do that#imagine a moment where tony tells peter about his own time being kidnapped#imagine what would happen if the kidnappers (let's say hydra) CAME BACK#queueueueue#see announcements
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took myself on a little shopping trip yesterday in the city where i used to study in hopes of lifting my spirits but by the end of the day i felt so disheartened. wandering the same streets 10 years later and not much has changed. i’m still the same lonely unlovable girl.
#i just wanted to have a good time and not rot in bed for once on my work free weekend but of course my brain can’t let that happen#it was such a lovely day actually the weather was sunny and windy it wasn’t too hot or cold ideal weather to stroll through the city#i had delicious food and found some comfortable clothes but at the end of the day i just felt so empty and worn out#seeing all these couples and friend groups and families and i’m still all by myself after so many years#tbh i’m even lonelier now than i was 10 years ago back then i at least had a few friends#idk what i’m doing with my life tbh.. i just want to be happy but even when i take myself on a cute little date i end up feeling miserable#bc it just hits me how truly lonely i am#i fear i’m incapable of forming any genuine relationships anymore bc i had so many bad experiences that i just stopped trying to connect..#with anyone.. even though i crave community friendship companionship and love i completely shut myself off from the world#i’m not even sure what i’m trying to say with all this.. i wish i knew how to be a person in this world#i wish i could be happy#tbh ever since i got back from my italy vacation i’ve been feeling depressed bc life could be so beautiful if i didn’t have to sacrifice..#almost all of my time for work#the post vacation depression is too real…#realizing you can only spend a very limited time traveling and enjoying yourself bc you have to work most of the time just to afford living#let me stop.. i keep rambling and my thoughts are falling like a waterfall#idk what’s wrong with me… i should have breakfast and put my phone away#sorry to anyone who actually reads all this word vomit#☁️
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Tbh, nothing has made me sympathize more with Kipperlilly Copperkettle than her anger issues.
Cause anger is an emotion we feel when we're missing something. When we need something and can't get it. It's a balm to make us feel better when things don't go our way.
When things aren't fair.
#d20#dimension 20#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#d20 spoilers#fhjy#fantasy high spoilers#of course just cause you feel like things are unfair doesnt mean they actually are#and the reason why its an anger issue is cause the anger has befome detrimental#its warped from being somethjng to comfort you when you feel powerless to a tool you use against others when you fedl slighted#part of why anger issues are so hard to overcome is cause of how good it feels in the moment#even if you feel terrible guilt afterwards#the catharsis of releasing anger can be such a relief#that you dont even realise youve started looking for reasons to be angry#youre listing things that are terrible with the world just so you can feel better by getting angry at them#things like capitalism and people who bullied you and how your boss is a terrible racist#things that everyone can get angry over#until they get more personal and warps your judgment#“my boss called a group of immigrant a bunch of racial slurs” “his secretary was there too she can back me up”#“when i brought it up with her she says she wasnt payjng attention or something” “shes peobably racist too and thats why he hired her”#it becomes easier to make jumps like that instead of giving people the benefit of the doubt#easier to justify your anger with the smallest slights#until youre yelling at a pedestrian whe. you almost ran them over#“sure it was a red light but they shouldve paid attention and seen me coming too”#anyways this is all to say kipperlilly probably has some issues to deal with#idk if shes actually behind this plot or if shes being manipulated#doesmt stop her from being a total dick tho#but it does make me a little more sympathetic to her
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{ He is slowly but surely getting done, both in icons and character information. God forbid him having proper tags any time soon though, but at least I'm doing something. Character information can be found here so far, just know it's not finished yet. }
#{ Additionally my Leon is not like the canon Leon because I based him off my Discord friend's version of Leon. }#{ And yes I asked his permission. He actually said he was extremely flattered by this since I love his Leon so much. }#{ So y'all will have to check out his character information in order to know what the specific thing about him is. }#{ I'm sure some people won't like it and others will probably be okay with it. }#{ But I'm not confident or very comfortable writing canon RE characters because of how in-depth they are. }#{ So I went with something I was comfortable with because I know it so fondly due to my friend. }#{ So I apologize to anyone who's unhappy about it but this is the version of Leon that I'm comfortable with because I've been writing with-#{ this version of a Leon for quite literally years with my group of RE friends from the old days. Viktor (my friend) has been with me- }#{ since forever playing Leon just as my friend Crissy has been with her Claire. These are my people and they inspire me every single day. }#☣ [ ' Tԋҽ σɳҽ ɯԋσ ʅҽαԃʂ Ⴆҽԋιɳԃ ƈʅσʂҽԃ ԃσσɾʂ. ' ] - ✡ Oυƚ σϝ Cԋαɾ��ƈƚҽɾ ✡
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For anyone else who may need to hear this today:
You will find people in your life who exactly what you can give is enough
You are allowed to set boundaries, you are allowed to not give everything
Looking after yourself means you can give more in the long run
You are enough
#putting the rant in the tags in case people find it comforting to relate#and also ahh#but without ruining the post#turns out my ex told one of my friends “im so glad you can give me that they couldnt”#were pretty sure that he meant emotional support#i put myself under stress to support him and it still wasnt enough#i did things that i was chill with doing but didnt care for and didnt have the energy/capabilities to pretend to enjoy#but it wasnt enough#two days after this he messaged to be like oh hey i miss us and i miss us being close#fuck you dude#im not mourning us youre alone in that#i dont even hate him and i know that he didnt mean bad from it#but man it got me thinking#dodged a fucking bullet#this is vaguely ace rather than aro themed#i am still both but my aceness is coming out in this post#sorry aros#ace#asexual#tried to make it vague so it fitted both though cause i feel like both groups can relate tm
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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when I was a very impressionable, socially stunted and nerdy gay 14 year old, my high school drama club put on a production of dracula, and I had never read it. i was in the crew, and mostly just sat around the auditorium and watched them rehearse. all the main roles were played by a friend group who had incredibly fun to watch chemistry off stage. the Dracula was this very very VERY tall person with long hair who was in my chorus class and insisted on singing soprano from time to time despite naturally being a bass (... estrogen when, queen?). the Johnathan was this short Flynn-Rider-from-Rapunzel-looking twink who was (in my mind) fought after by women around him. the Jonathan and the Dracula intentionally made their interactions extra homoerotic (I overheard them talking to the English teacher director about it one day) and would spend off time at rehearsal trying to do the dirty dancing "time of my life" lift. because I was 14, I unironically shipped them. the Mina was so beautiful and had a face that, imo, would be cast in one of those terrible BBC/netflix period dramas now. she had been friends with the other two since before I started high school. because I was a polyamorous 14 year old, I also shipped the Jonathan with the Mina. i had a crush on the person who played Lucy in the cast since middle school, they were my age but so cool and likeable they melted into the older drama kid friend circle effortlessly. i had some interesting emotions about the scene where Lucy is covered in blood in a wedding dress. during the final cast and crew party, the Dracula threw a chocolate flower into the group and I caught it then proceeded to hold onto it for years after. then they all graduated, besides the Lucy. anyway, those are the versions of all the characters that live in my head when I read my Dracula daily.
#dracula daily#this is a treat for anyone who knows me from high school im sure#the holding onto the chocolate flower for years after is a metaphor#something something socially isolated child knows and dearly loves a group of people whom they never interact with#and found comfort in through the act of ritualistically watching them every day after school for months#my face when my stunted ass internalized real ass people around me as my blorbos#i wish i had the social skills to talk to any of them at the time. they were all so nice!#i did however reconnect with the Lucy in the last year or so. we went on a walk in the woods#and i learned a lot about them that i never knew despite growing up beside them#i wish we'd had more time to hang out before i moved. theyre cool
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hate funerals bc the last one i went to my friend cried in front of everyone that she was to blame for her brothers death and it broke my heart like idk why anyone thinks speaking in front of a group is emotionally healing right after a death i think it can cause the bereaved way more confusion and pain tbh like theyve barely had a few days to confront what happened and you want them to speak eloquently in front of friends and loved ones? im sure some can and do find it healing, but the way many people force people to go up and speak bc they'll "feel better" or regret it is so mean and cruel in my eyes
#i think funerals should focus as much as making sure the bereaved are care for#memorials are way better in my opinion and less importance should be on the funeral in terms of group activity :/#the healing comes from being surrounded by loved ones and speaking to them#not necessarily monologuing at them by yourself#but im sure some find that comforting and ok#my friend was fourteen and terrified and traumatized
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Love it when I stumble upon a new blog for someone I used to write with like, five years ago, and find out I'm still blocked. Homie. Was the beef that bad.
#ⅹⅳ loci phantasma ( ooc. )#i left a group rp server for my own comfort and because i didn't explicitly say why the whole gang ended up blocking me#like.... my dude i just didn't vibe with one of the new folks. that isn't a crime. and it isn't lying#but yeah sure continue to find out my urls and block me. ill return the favor. it makes it easier for all of us#negative tw#more. lamenting than drama intended. more disgust with who i used to he#my brain wasn't even fully formed 5 years ago#like. looking back at it. i was so cringe#i was so desperate to fit in and feel wanted and - yes. even popular. i wanted to be desired#and unfortunately chasing that high usually does finish in being cast aside once you're no longer hot shit#i honestly would not be surprised if i had just been tolerated and they were looking for a reason to cut me off. thats happened before#when you're a glutton you will eat until your stomach hurts. i would gorge on the attention even though -#it ached afterward. i was so embarrassing lol
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I'm in the metro and theres what appears to be an entire class of fourth graders in here on what i assume is a class trip. props to the teachers here who look super at ease in a packed subway car with their kids; it's not an impossible task by any means, im pretty comfortable with transit-with-large-group-of-children procedure myself, but its smth i know can be super nerve-wracking (it definitely took Years for me to be confident about it)
#im super comfortable with it mainly bc i make very very sure my group knows my rules by heart before we even leave camp#(granted my group is usually teens so it helps that they also know what theyre doing)#(but ive handled a group of ~25 ten-year-olds and its really not so bad as long as you have clear expectations#and also a co-counselor you communicate super well with)#mattie chatters
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Instead of rise vs 12 tmnt for Mikey, I have another idea:
Make it so that 12 Mikey gets accidentally turtlenapped by the Rise guys due to mystic shenanigans and the rest of the 12 family goes on an absolute warpath to get him back thinking he's being hurt or tortured or something.
Meanwhile, the rise fam go oops? And chill around while waiting to send back 12 Mikey or for his family to get him back.
(Pls tell me this exists, I now have the urge to read it)
#rottmnt#tmnt 2012#i've been amused ever since I thought of it and been playing around with some scenes in my head#i want 12 Mikey to essentially get a spa day while the rest are ready to murder someone lmao#not sure who is more surprised the 12 group that Mikey is super chill and comfortable#or the rise guys having this group ready to destroy them (bc they didn't connect what it looked like lmao)#tmnt 2k12#morf's fic ideas
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me feeling bad about being unaligned with binary gender and then i think about how Guz would just Get It right off the bat because honestly idk how it's such a hard concept for ppl to grasp 😭 and it makes me feel a little better fdsfjkl
#i feel bad sometimes like oohh ur such a special snowflake for not being feminine OR masculine oooh u wanna be special so bad#no you Made-Up-Person-in-my-Brain. no i dont want to be special actually fdsjkl#i really wish this was just normal. i so badly want to just be normal#honestly i start thinking ''maybe i should just be okay with being considered feminine or masculine. i should just pick one i guess''#but no !! neither fit right !! both make me uncomfortable !!#i do understand the concepts of both but i exist outside of them somehow! and idk why thats so difficult for ppl to grasp!#it is just a little lonely seeing posts talking about ''feminine ppl or masculine ppl'' like. okay i dont fit either of those. damn.#and it feels alienating bc i guess ppl dont know unaligned folk exist! transneutral is such a rare label to see talked about!#''this is nonbinary inclusive bc im saying masculine and feminine :)'' WHAT IS SO HARD TO GRASP ABOUT NON-BINARY. ITS RIGHT IN THE NAME!#why are u re-inventing the gender binary !!!!!! u just changed the words ur using for binary gender WHAT 😭😭😭#i think maybe i resent that i have to force myself into one category or the other for other ppls comfort tbh fdsjkl like. can i just exist.#but i do think Guz would genuinely just understand it immediately. not just because i Want him to LOL.#he'd be like ''ohhh theres a word for that? hell yeah that rules. i'll have to see if a few of the grunts heard about this shit yet''#bc im sure there'd be a wide range of queer kids on the team LOL#if u get a bunch of misfits together ur going to have like... a LOT of queer ppl in the group FDSJFKL#dandy.cmd#vent //#💜so good at being in trouble
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just desperately need to type out some thoughts for this wip, gonna do it in the tags, don't mind me
#trying to make sure that i am doing this david plot line justice in this au#like i want it to still make sense#so in my head i'm thinking this is actually about 2 weeks AFTER when it would have been in canon#and david's group is more desperate now#they had sent out raiders to go to the university in colorado#but now they are starting to wander further north and end up getting too close for comfort to jackson#paired with ellie getting lost in the woods after splitting off from her friends#and then here we are#there's a snow storm because of course there is#so david + group convince her to take shelter with them in an old barn & ellie has significantly less street smarts#others leave to go back to camp for supplies#enter joel & tommy#enter killing david scene#i have so much to do#fanfic writing
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I saw your tags on that post about how reading prepares you to live and it always makes me insane because like, it's literally neurological, the mind experiences everything as stories and responds to stories in the same way that it does real life just with fewer consequences and what it means is that books allow you to experience things before they happen so your brain can run through the permutations of what you might do in that situation so when it actually happens you can survive it more easily, it's like a vaccine or something and you probably already knew that but if you didn't now you do because it makes me so excited it's not even like just a spiritual or metaphorical thing, we need stories to survive on a physical level
GRACIE I loooove this so much and I actually had never even thought of looking into this before!! I think it's such a sweet way to consider it to, like stories for us are building blocks that help our brains figure out how to react, how to believe and how to survive, that's just so meaningful and loving to me!!! And like not only are stories enriching things for us, things that bring color to our lives etc., but that they're also tools, literally useable things that we can miss when they're gone.....OCH that is so happymaking for me!
#i loooove to know about links between the arts and physiological effects truly#like how apparently when a group of people are singing or playing together a lot of the time their heart rates will start to align#i LOVE it it makes me so happy!!!#because i'm sure you as well as i have have always dealt with this kind of narrative surrounding the arts that are like#they're just there to be extra things we add onto our lives they're not core things we need#but like....the stories we tell and the music we sing or dance to and the colors we use for our portraits of ourselves and the ones we love#those are all things that make us human!!! they make us treasure each other and our lives!#and when there are scientific/physical links between the effects of those things and how we love it just deeply deeply comforts me#anyway THANK YOU MY GIRL i'm so glad you told me this i love it so!#friends tag#ask
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They include him in everything, they include HIM in everything, THEY INCLUDE HIM IN EVERYTHING!!! ♥♥♥♥♥
#who's cutting onions?#shinee#forever shinee five#the feeling#jonghyun#kim jonghyun#i often feel sad and i always miss him so much in activities and mv's and whatnot#but they always make sure to have him present in some way#and that gives me so much comfort#shinee really is THAT group#it's so special !!#i feel sad but my heart feels full and it's okay
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