#my cholesterol levels are fine
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uh oh the metaphorical doctor in my head is getting mean
#blue chatter#tw dieting mention#tw body image mention#last time I went to the doc my pcp said he was rly worried about my BMI#despite my blood work being fine and experiencing no health issues about it#my blood pressure’s great#my cholesterol levels are fine#but he really wanted me to join the weight loss program they have and go on a restrictive diet#because number too big#and now when I eat more than one big meal a day I start worrying that number go up and I’ll have to get that talk again#and the little siren in my head is screaming NO BAD DONT FEED INTO THAT THATS HOW U GET AN ED#anyway these two little parts of my brain have been duking it out for hours and now it’s midnight and I haven’t eaten dinner#so I’m going to make dinner. out of spite. and then go to bed at 1am probably.#it’s not like I have to get up for anything tmr it’s both summer and the weekend
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just been on Instagram and saw someone like here’s my breakfast I have 8 egg whites (and other stuff)… the yolk slander is ridiculous.. oH bUt iT coNtaINs cHoL*sTerol.. yes, but it’s the good kind and full of vitamins, stop wasting egg yolks!!!
Now it’s different if you add oils to them, like just have a boiled egg or two it’s not gonna fck u up 🙄
Unnecessary post? Maybe, but it’s annoying (esp in January) to see how ppl are still stuck on bs ways of d*ets and n*trition like can we move on and have better relationships with foods it feels like we’re constantly going backwards 😭
#I have eggs a lot sometimes 4 a sitting boiled or scrambled (with a tiny amount of olive oil) and my cholesterol has been fine 😌#not to sound narcissistic I was told it was really good#and that’s coming from a plus girlie#mines below recommended levels and yes that includes the bad being below recommended too 😌
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Hey all! You’re about to see why this got so delayed when Tumblr ate my post. >.<
Remember how I’ve previously stated “I disappeared because I had issues, but no worries!”?
Yeah.
Not so much this time. Which has only sunk in with retrospect and time. (@grumpyoldsnake is gonna be “I told you so!!!)
It still doesn’t really feel that way, because the human mind is stupendous at deemphasizing how much danger you might really be in/were in.
Some of this might be covering ground I’ve already covered here or elsewhere. However, I think having it all in one place and all sequenced together will not only help me keep things straight but give it all perspective.
With that out of the way, let’s see if I can not only keep this all the fuck straight but remember what ground I need to cover. I’m putting the rest under a cut for a couple of reasons. It’s long, and it may be triggering for some people. Please let me know if I’ve missed a tag I should have added.
October 2023
I went back to the Dr. to get my medications adjusted, as my blood sugar had gone back up. (Side note: I hadn’t been properly and regularly testing my blood sugar. I was exhausted and sleeping what felt like all the time with no energy to do much of anything at all.) For whatever reason, my blood pressure comes back rather shockingly high (164/108!!), not in line with what it’s been at all. I comment that I’ve never seen it that high, and the nurse says to have the doctor check it after I’ve been there a while.
It doesn’t happen because I’m forgetful.
My cholesterol also comes back high, but that’s been creeping up for years, so no shocker there.
Diabetes medications are adjusted, one is added for the cholesterol. By the time I get home, there’s another one for my blood pressure. I shrug and add it to my pile, since my blood pressure had never come down as far as I thought it should in the first place.
November 2023
Back for a follow-up appointment. My sugar levels haven’t changed all that much, and my blood pressure still comes back as pretty damn high, and I make a mental note to test it at home more regularly, because it doesn’t seem right.
Warning: diet talk.
———
We talk about stuff and whatnot, and decide to try Ozempic (as its original purpose was for diabetes) as the next step to get my blood sugar down.
I was aggravated as he goes on about things like how I’ll feel better for losing some weight, and I half-assed express a few concerns because I have disorganized eating habits. I already don’t eat consistently, and I firmly believe my current weight “problems” are due to my disorganized eating patterns (as well as picky eating and just not really wanting to eat in general) in my youth leaving me borderline malnourished. Most of my teen years were spent trying to get me to gain weight. FYI: being significantly underweight for a long time is a great way to have issues with being overweight later.
I go home with a prescription for Ozempic. Fine and dandy, although I’ve been getting the impression he doesn’t really listen all the time.
———
December 2023
Christmas happens, travel happens, fun happens.
January 2024
Cute cat pic, just because. :-)
Next appointment. My blood pressure still reads significantly higher than normal (156/92), and higher than it has been at home, but what with travel and all, I haven’t really been testing it to back up that assertion. The doctor tests it and gets approximately the same result.
I get another prescription for an additional blood pressure medication.
(Can you guess where this one is going?)
I woke up a few days later with a massive headache that wouldn’t go away. I didn’t connect this at the time, but based on what happened next, I think it was.
The day after that I felt a bit dizzy. When I wasn’t feeling much better by lunch, I took my blood pressure and got 94/68. I took it again and got about the same thing, so I had my coworker (who is also a volunteer EMT) test it. He got 100/54. I continued to check it throughout the day, but it wouldn’t stay consistent. I bugged out of work early, finally sending a… well, grouchy message to the doctor (after hours, unfortunately) firmly expressing my frustration that I wasn’t believed when I stated my at-home readings, pointing out I am also an EMT.
My reading was 96/74 when I went to bed.
I felt even shittier the next day. BP was 94/62 that morning; I stayed home from work. The doctor responded to my message when the office opened, discontinuing the most recently added BP med, sanctioning the choice I’d already made. :-P
Unfortunately, my BP continued to plummet throughout the afternoon and evening. I sent a message that evening and asked what to do, continuing my pattern of sending messages after the office closed. 🙄
I took my blood pressure using my automated cuff before going to bed. It errored out twice before I got this:
Lovely, eh?
(The systolic generally reads 8-10 low, but the diastolic is generally bang on.)
I took it manually; 80/54. I send a follow-up message with those readings.
I felt awful the next morning. The act of sitting up made me dizzy. I stumbled out to the living room and called in to work again; I was in no condition to drive. My heart rate was elevated to around 100-110 (it normally runs fast, about 80-90 in the morning).
By late morning, the automatic cuff wouldn’t do anything but error out. I sent another message asking at what point I should go to the ER. I didn’t get a response from the doctor, but did from one of the nurses, who told me that anything under 90 systolic with symptoms qualified.
What. The. FUCK.
I basically decided that if it got worse, I’d go in. I told a friend to check in with me regularly and stayed in my recliner, drinking water and Gatorade to at least get fluid in.
The lowest reading I got on my manual cuff was 78/52. FYI: I should have been in the hospital the day before. This is “almost died” moment number 1. I was a fucking idiot. Denial is deadly.
——
I think this needs split up; I’m gonna post this now and keep writing, because I’m going to hit some sort of character limit sooner or later. O.o
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Yoga With Cas
WC 440 , established destiel, dean has anxiety
"I think I'm having a heart attack," Dean says as he walks into the living room.
Cas doesn't even glance up from his knitting magazine. "That's impossible. Your cholesterol levels are perfect. I checked them last week."
Dean gently rubs at his sternum, the tight feeling still there. He'd woken up with it, made breakfast with it, gone to work with it, picked Jack up from school with it. Probably shouldn't have done that last one.
"Then why do I feel like I'm having a heart attack?" Dean chokes out, tears blurring his vision.
Cas puts his magazine down and puts his reading glasses on his head. Studies Dean like one of his knitting patterns.
"Come here," he says, patting the couch next to him. Dean goes and settles into Cas' strong arms. He feels a kiss to his head and Cas places a hand over his heart.
"Well. You are definitely not having a heart attack."
Dean should feel relieved, but the pressure in his chest increases. "Then what the hell is wrong with me?"
"I believe you're having a panic attack."
"Since 12 hours ago?"
"It's been that long?"
"Cas, I've had panic attacks before. This doesn't feel like a panic attack." Dean pauses. "And yeah. Since I woke up."
Cas gently rubs his hands along Dean's arms. "My guess, without digging around in your head, is it's stress."
"Stress?" Dean scoffs. "We're retired. I work at a coffee shop part time. What do I have to be stressed about?"
Cas hums, "It's probably many small things building up. No, we don't hunt anymore but the coffee shop gets busy this time of year. Jack has been moodier recently. It's getting dark earlier. We have several things to make before going to Jody's on Wednesday and we're picking Claire up from the airport on our way. Then, we're having 'friendsgiving' here on Friday. So we need to do some cleaning. You're probably subconsciously stressed and since nothing is an immediate threat your anxiety response is simmering rather than boiling over."
Dean slumps even further into Cas. "Ok. What do I do?"
"I recommend focusing on one task at a time. Take deep breaths?"
Dean twists around and scowls. "Take deep breaths, really?"
Cas grins slowly, a glint appearing in his eyes, "Yes. You should do yoga with me."
Dean narrows his eyes.
"Then we'll tackle each task one by one. Together."
"Fine. But no laughing at me."
"I would never."
"You literally did last time you made me try eagle's pose."
"I apologized."
Dean pulls Cas in for a kiss, "I think you need to apologize some more."
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Health Update
Had my first diabetic review at my new gp surgery and everything checked out just fine!
Cholesterol down to 3
Liver function back to normal
I just have to keep a record of my glucose levels for a week and have a phone chat to discuss my medication
So ... apart from my old complaining back and squatter .... I'm doing just great!
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Cats, especially females, are supposed to start getting bloodwork for their kidneys and thyroids done when they turn six. Kidney and thyroid disease are extremely common, so similar to getting pap smears and cholesterol levels and other things for humans, it's just good practice to do these tests regularly starting at age six for cats, especially female cats.
So I took my cat into our vet when she turned six, and asked them to do the bloodwork. They refused, saying "we have our own schedule for doing that". Which like, ok, fine. They didn't want to give her preventative flea meds either, which was weird but...I guess I'll trust them, whatever. 👍
But recently she turned eight, and started losing hair. Like literally all of her hair on her stomach and legs. Literally nothing about her daily environment had changed, so I took her back in and asked again for bloodwork to be done. I also mentioned her history of allergies and asked again for preventative flea meds just in case.
They told me it was.....wait for it.........anxiety!! Said her household must have a lot of changes happening in it all the time (it doesn't). Said it couldn't POSSIBLY be anything else. And they wouldn't prescribe the flea meds but INSTEAD prescribed her a medication which tends to make cats really out of it. And which extremely stresses her out for me to force down her throat, increasing her anxiety tenfold at least. And said they wouldn't do any bloodwork until I gave it to her every single day for months.
As if she was a HUMAN. At a HUMAN DOCTOR
Tibby...I feel so much kinship to you and your medical gaslighting struggles. I can't believe that nasty bitch would say that to you. #solidarity
#that pic is from bwfore she started losing all her fur just as an explanation for why she looks normal#my cats
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I got my blood work results back and they did a lot!! thankfully, my iron, vitamin D and thyroid levels are all good which are all things I’ve really struggled with in the past. my cholesterol is good except I have slightly high triglyceride levels (don’t Really know what that means but eh) and I have slightly low albumin, and I’m prediabetic which isn’t surprising. so I’m kind of like, relieved to know but also not really surprised, maybe more pleasantly surprised cuz I did Not think my cholesterol or vitamin D would be fine.
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🙄……
Yesterday I had some bloodwork drawn. I’ve had the requisition for ages and just never found time to go to the lab. I hadn’t had time to go in a review it when one of the clinic doctors called for an appointment I had set up for med refills, and the following conversation ensued….
Him - have you looked at your books work or reviewed with your regular doctor?
Me - I haven’t had a chance
Him - well the good news is that your cholesterol and blood sugars are down substantially so you must be doing something right but I have to ask, are you tired allot?
Me - yep, I could sleep for hours every day and have zero energy.
Him - I’m betting you have coke hands and feet, dizziness, shortness of breath, headaches…are you taking any supplements?
Me - B12, magnesium and vitamin D.
Him - that explains why the numbers look like they do. The B12 would be helping somewhat. You might want to add an iron supplement to that because your iron level is very low.
Me - sitting here stunned smacking my head going “that explains why I feel so shitty all the time” 🤦🏼♀️.
My levels were low normal last year when I had blood work done but I increased the amount of dark leafy greens I ate and figured I’d be fine. Apparently that was not enough so off to the health food store I go to find a good supplement. One more thing to add to the ever growing list of issues my body thinks it would be fun to deal with 😞.
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Chapter 1
Pairing: CEO!Ezio x GN!Reader
Summary: You finally decide to let it loose, only to discover the man you had a one-night stand with is now your CEO.
Warnings for this chapter: modern au!, self-depreciative reader, awkward reader, some smut, alcohol drinking, comedy
Author's Note: hello, this is my first project for a long fic in a very long time. im very nervous and excited and i will appreciate all feedbacks i get! thank you so much for reading and lets go!!!
You hate clubs. Loud music. None or barely any good warm food. You can barely see with those lights. Too many people in the same place, rubbing on each other. You remind yourself you were there for support: your best friend and co-worker Elena called you crying that Saturday night, sobbing her girlfriend of five years broke up with her. Elena needed to party and, for some reason, needed you there for support. Until Elena didn't anymore, finding comfort in a very tall curvy redhead lady, the two disappeared on the dance floor.
You wonder if you should go home or at least make good use of the money you spend to get into that place. When was the last time you went to a club anyway? Oh yeah, when you turned into the legal drinking age. By the way, you got drunk with two tequila shots and swore never to drink again. Ever. You have always been known to study and work a lot anyway—no time to fool around.
You find the bar on the club's second level, far from the dancing area. Happy you finally found a chair for your butt to fall into, the bartender asks what you want, and you reply, "Everyone's favorite?".The song doesn't blast as loud, and the people here seem calmer. Good.
At least if you were going down, you could have some fun. Two cups maximum. The bartender places your drink in front of you, and when you give her your card, she waves, pointing at someone.
"Gentleman over there already paid."
Blinking surprised, you turn to where she is pointing and have to hold your lips together. Man is literally a fucking Greek God. He is well dressed, wearing black social pants and a black social shirt with a few open buttons. You can see a tiny bit of his hairy chest. He has a trimmed beard and a smirk on his lips. You look down on yourself, wearing simple clothes. Could it be a prank? Maybe. What if it was roofied? You were getting drugged, and he was stealing your kidney?
Well fuck it. You said you weren't going to have fun? Having fun has its risks.
Grabbing the cup, you toast the man, and his smile grows wider. Well, he is staring at you like he is going to eat you. It has to be a prank-oh shit, he is coming your way!
"Is this seat taken?" The man asks with a deep voice. You nod, wanting to say no. He sits by your side, requesting another drink from the bartender. "Name is Ezio. Yours?"
You tell Ezio your name, sipping your drink. Now that he is closer, you notice he is strong. He wears his hair in a ponytail and has a smile that is a lady killer. And he smells good. Unlike all the smelly people in this place, Ezio smells reeaallly good.
"Thank you for the mhm drink," You say, and Ezio waves his hands like it was nothing. "I must tell you, I am not in my best shape. I'm unhealthy. Diabetes. Cholesterol is high. I might have a heart attack at any moment now."
"You don't look sick," Ezio looks at you confused.
"Appearances, right?" You giggle awkwardly, drinking your drink at once. Ezio seems to ponder for a minute before nodding, a funny smirk on his lips.
"I am sorry for your situation. I hope you get better soon."
"Oh, I will be fine. Every time I go to the doctors, they change the prospect. Anyway, I would be a bad product in the black market."
"The black market, you say?" Ezio's voice tone is humorous. You nod excitedly, asking the bartender for another drink.
"You seem happy for someone who might die any moment now?"
"Oh, you see. It is life. I try to live every day as if my last. Because it could be."
When the bartender gives you the other drink, you swallow, this time much easier. You start hearing a loud laugh coming from Ezio. You look at him, your turn to be confused.
"What is it?"
"I am not selling your kidneys in the black market," Ezio laughs. You blink a few times, charmed by the sound.
"That, that is exactly what an organ dealer would say!" You exclaim, and Ezio laughs louder, attracting looks from nearby.
You roll your cup between your hands, looking down. Your tactic didn't work, and you weren't roofied. Maybe just a little drunk. You decide this will be your last cup of the night.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have laughed like this. Your concerns are valid," Ezio declares. "That is not the reason why I paid for your drink."
"Oh?"
"I find you attractive."
Now it is your turn to laugh. You hit his arm, murmuring right right, finishing your second cup.
"What is it?"
"You find me attractive? You? Me? Pdffttt."
Ezio gets his chair close to yours, closing the distance. That shuts you off.
"Can I not find you attractive?"
"Do you use glasses, sir? You might need them."
"Do you have a problem with people finding you attractive?"
"No, I have a problem with extremely hot people finding me attractive!"
Wellllll, shit. Your damn open mouth. Ezio smiles victoriously.
"So you find me attractive?"
"Well, duh. I mean, look at you. Then look at me."
"An attractive and desirable person?"
You shake your head. It had been a long time since someone had shown any sign of interest in you. At least, so direct like that. Indeed, Elena said people looked at you with desire left and right, you just didn't want to notice.
"Look, mhm, this was very nice and all, but it is not nice to play with someone's feelings like that," It is the alcohol. It has to be. It is what you will blame tomorrow.
"I am not playing," Ezio's tone brings a chill down your spine. He looks at you like he wants to have you right here and now. On top of the bar counter in front of you, everyone. And deep down, you would let him do it.
You first think about what you came to do here: have fun with your best friend, but she was busy with someone else. You already spent money anyway, accepted the drink from a handsome strange man, called him an organ dealer, and he is still showing interest in you.
He could have any of those other sexy people around you, but no, Ezio seems genuinely interested in you.
Getting up from the chair, decided, you pull Ezio by his shirt into a kiss. It surprises you both, but he is fast on kissing you back. When you two break apart, Ezio holds your face.
"Is this what you truly want?" His tone is serious, just making you want him more.
"If you are still interested."
-x-
Monday, 6:30 am
You wake up, your body still sore. You get up from your bed, getting a good look in the mirror. You had sex. It is screaming in your relaxed stance. You had sex with a freaking Greek god on the back of his car, had lots of orgasms, and bonus: no organs lost. Maybe except your sanity.
You hop into the shower, remembering Ezio's hands on your back and ass. He touched you all over. He was generous, ensuring your eyes rolled numerous times during the night. You had never done it in a car before, and he was patient until you finally got comfortable. Always making sure you were feeling good. Not that stopped Ezio from pounding inside you like a madman, making the car shake. The beard scratched against your skin every time he gave you kisses. And his moans, shit, you were trembling just thinking about it.
You realize your shower is taking a little longer than it should, so you turn into cold water. After drying yourself, having breakfast, and brushing your teeth, it is time to go to work.
You work for a winery corporate office named Auditore Vinos. It had recent operations in your country, primarily based in Italy. You enter the company's building, saying morning to your co-workers until you reach your table.
Elena comes running when she sees you, and you turn your face away, upset.
"I am sorry, okay? I am a horrible friend!" Elena apologizes, but you still have pouty lips. "I will pay for your lunch for a whole week!"
"Two weeks!"
"Deal. Seriously, I am sorry. I went crazy Saturday. Besides, if I didn't leave you alone, you wouldn't have gotten your brains fucked by—"
"Shhhhhh!" You look around but don't seem anyone else heard.
"You got to tell me! Everything! All of it!"
"I will, I will. As you as well! Leaving me all alone to make out with redhead Lady Dimitrescu."
"Word of advice? Watch out for whom you fuck. They might wake up in the morning saying I love you, marry me, can you meet my family like today?"
"Serves you right for leaving me alone."
Elena puts her hand on her heart, pretending to be insulted as you open your email. Your boss Mario Auditore has sent a meeting for the whole company at 10 am at the small reunion office. You ask Elena, but she shrugs.
"You know Mario loves those motivational speeches once in a while. To keep the moral of the team, we are his family, but we still could be doing better, blah blah blah."
At 10 am, you get together with everyone at the reunion office. Some people are whispering, and gossip has run wild since the company has fewer than fifty people. Some say Mario is finally retiring, and others say Mario will probably talk about sales. Stiles, part of the IT team, worries that Mario will fire everyone. You find Elena in the crowd, sitting in the middle of the room as she waves in your direction.
"Oh my God, can you believe Mario has a son he never told us about?!" Elena exclaims as soon as you sit by her side.
"What?"
"I just heard that Mario has a man in his office that looks old enough to be his son. Maybe that is it. Mario will tell us he has a son! He has been hiding all these years!"
You laugh, wondering if your friend has watched too many soap operas. Finally, your boss Mario Auditore enters the room alone, and all conversation shuts down.
"Yes, yes, I know the gossip has already spread around! No, I am not dying, not I am not selling, no, no one is getting fired, Stiles!"
Stiles silently celebrate, and everyone laughs.
"I have some news this morning, sad for some and happy for others. I have to be absent from the CEO position. For a while."
The murmur of "What?" filled the room. Elena mouths, "Sickness?" and you shake your head, worried. Everyone loved Mario: he was a great boss. He had given you a chance at the company despite your lack of experience. You really liked him like so many other employees.
"I have some business I need to solve. Don't worry, everyone, I am not dying. Doctors said I need to slow down for a while, that is all. Put my feet up a bit, and enjoy some vacation time."
You feel Elena's hand around yours, and you squeeze it back. Mario looks out of the room, nodding to someone.
"Well, while I am away, my nephew will stay in my place. He takes care of operations in Italy, so he knows the job. We also decided it was about time you got to know the crew in Italy, Ezio, please come in!"
Ezio?
EZIO?
You squeeze Elena's hand so hard you can hear her groan low with pain as the man who fucked your brains out on Saturday night enters the room. Fuck, he is wearing a fucking blue suit. You can hear your ears ringing as Ezio speaks and your friend whispering your name, worried.
Please, don't notice me, please don't notice me.
Ezio's eyes are glancing around the room. He presents himself looking at the employees' faces when he stops at a very familiar one. He loses his composure for one second, enough for his uncle to notice, but goes back on his rant. When Ezio is done, he looks anywhere but at you. The employees clap, and Mario disperses them. He pulls Ezio close to him, asking what the heck happened as they walk to the CEO's office.
"Niente, zio, niente."
Inside the reunion room, your ears are still ringing. Most people show excitement, admiring how the new boss is sexy and handsome, and start leaving. When you and Elena are alone, she asks you urgently.
"What is going on? You are scaring me."
"It is him," You whisper.
"Who?"
"Ezio. It is him."
Elena takes a second to realize who you are talking about. As she does, you can see her face going from shocked to amused to shocked again.
"The hot Italian God with a huge penis?"
"I hate you! This is all your fault. I'm going to HR. I have always wanted to be a digital nomad anyway."
"Well, if it is my fault you got the best sex in your life, then so be it. Come on, we need to get out of here before Mario, or mhm, he comes wondering why we are still here."
You jump from your seat as if electrified, Elena guides you back to your table. Your table was far from Mario's office, so you were okay. You drop into your chair, Elena still holding your hand.
"Look, breathe. Breathe. Think, he is probably as embarrassed as you are right now—"
"Worse than me? Never!"
"—well, technically, he is the boss. Our new boss, you know? He probably does not want this story to go around as much as you."
You get a sip from your water bottle. Elena was probably right. Ezio would pretend he never saw you. Maybe he would get on on his day, treating you normally since you two just fucked. It was just a casual fuck, a really, really good one that had you both utterly breathless by the end of it, staring at each other's eyes and, for some crazy reason, feeling you made a special connection to each other, but still in the end just a one night stand. No feelings attached, nothing. You were an adult. You could do this.
"You are right. I am an adult, and it was just sex. Just that. An accident that could happen to anyone, right?"
Elena rubs your back, uncertain if she should say no, no, it doesn't, but she doesn't want to crush your spirit more.
"Sure, anyone in the world. Totally possible."
You smile back at her, thanking Elena for her support. You were going to need it.
Niente = Nothing
Zio = Uncle
#ezio x reader#ezio x you#ezio auditore x reader#ezio auditore x you#ezio auditore da firenze x reader#ezio auditore da firenze x you#MY FIRST LONGFIC after idk how many years HAS TO BE SPECIAL#ezio auditore fanfics#ezio auditore fanfic#ezio auditore imagines#ezio auditore imagine
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i’ve joked some about not wanting to return to food service now that i paint my nails, but also it’s…interesting. to look at my lab results since shortly after i stopped working at taco bell through my most recent blood work a few months ago, because with very little conscious effort on my part (and i’m frankly much less Active now than i was then), all of my vitamin issues, cholesterol red flags, etc, started out pretty bad. and now most of those things are fine. even the ones that are still not at a healthy level (looking at you vitamin d) are much closer to being a healthy level than they were. and i just think that’s interesting
#i do certainly eat better now that i’m not spending 38 hours a week in a fast food restaurant#with no practical means of bringing my own food#which i think is a laaaarge part of it to be clear lmao#fast food is like. fine#eating it 5 days a week. not so great#anyway post brought to you by my clinic sending the annual ‘pls come pee in a cup and get your blood drawn’ message on friday#which. very annoying weekend to have sent that because i know no one’s gonna be in the office until tuesday lol
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I was gonna write a tag essay on my last post, but its easier to TW if I dont write it out in the tags. But anyway, my doctor told me to watch my cholesterol cuz its pretty high. Having high cholesterol actually explained a LOT of the health issues I was experiencing and so I've been pretty good about keeping an eye on it.
I'm actually really proud of myself for not getting TOO intense about it though. Usually when I "diet" i GO ON A DIET and I have tons of rules and I'm counting everything and I'm going all in. Here I am just casually keeping an eye on the cholesterol I'm consuming and its been....totally fine. No craziness. I dont feel like I'm failing or going to binge or like I've fucked up and have to start over because I ate some fried eggs today or whatever.
I work in a coffee shop and we get free food, and I eat that stuff every day. So I identified what kinds of food had lower cholesterol levels and I've been eating those. There's a vegan sandwich we have that actually slaps severely and it really hasnt been any issue to eat that or like... a carrot muffin or a vegan chocolate chip cookie, instead of a croissant or something.
I switched my cream in my coffee to oat milk which I also like. Its literally been like no big deal. And I had eggs this morning. Eggs are pretty high in cholesterol but I'm not going to live a life where I dont ever eat fried eggs and cheese on toast. Its just a matter of knowing that its a less-often kind of food instead of three mornings a week.
I dunno I feel like I developed a really good anti-diet foundation and its really helped when going into being told that I need to watch a certain aspect of my diet. I go back in August to check again on my blood work and I'm really hoping it reflects well.
My doctor didnt even tell me like "Watch your cholesterol, heres how" she literally just went "Your cholesterol is high, you're obese, go on a diet and exercise." without asking me anything about what I eat or my activity levels. SO its more or less up to me to be normal about it, since she will not be.
I HAVE lost about 15 pounds in the last month-and-change, which to me is indicating that what i'm doing is DOING something. So I'm hopeful. Because compared to other stuff I've done, like keto or being vegan, or weight watchers, or calorie counting... this is so fucking easy dude. I'm literally just eating different stuff that I also like.
#Captain Speaking#tw diet#tw diet talk#food#this is good though im making huge massive progress#i was scared that being told to watch a certain aspect of what im eating was gonna be like.. triggering#and I was gonna go full diet mode#but no we are persisting and just adjusting some behaviors and being normal#I only thought about going completely vegan like two times and neither were serious
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speaking of cholesterol, I have a hereditary gene thing that causes my liver to Not properly rid my body of cholesterol. Which, yknow, it's whatever, we're several in the family with it, I'm on meds that make my levels fine (great, actually!) it's not an actual issue. But. I hate having to even mention it bc I KNOW people will think "ah, bc ur fat and therefore unhealthy" when like. no you don't get it at 12 I had the cholesterol levels of someone with liver failure who drinks butter instead of water. If I wasn't medicated I'd die at 39 like my great grandfather no matter my lifestyle. It's a super dumb fatphobia thing that shouldn't matter and I'm mad that it makes me embarrassed.
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The vascular test went fine. My endocrinologist recommended it because I have had high cholesterol almost my entire life and he wanted me to get an artery ultrasound test to see if it's affecting my arteries and if I'm about to have a stroke or something.
It was a boring test, but otherwise fine.
My head is really bothering me, and it's always bothering me, and I hope I reach a level of acceptance someday because I get EXTREMELY upset if I think about it too long. I don't want to remember the era it started. OH GOD, I just realized that tomorrow is my headache's 8th birthday, so I'm already thinking about it too much.
I just remember typing on Tumblr "Something's wrong with my head and I think I need a doctor" because I was in too much denial to accept that I was blind in one eye. It was temporary, but that's what was happening!
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Another slice of life
It's me and another slice of life short story! This idea is based from S05E17 when Raymond learns Yoga from Charles he said: "My doctor tells me to be more active." So I loved to look into small details 🤣
Also Happy Lunar New Year to anyone who celebrates it by the way!
And since there are two SOL one-shot now, I combined them and posted them on AO3 as well XD If anyone want to read there, please proceed to: A day in the life of Raymond Holt & Kevin Cozner - Chapter 1 - SivArcher - Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
---Doctor's Appointment---
Every once a year, at the summertime there is one specific day is their annual body checkup day where they will spend the whole day doing all the health screenings needed or suggested by their doctor.
"Raymond, can you help me bag these supplements that I've taken for the past year? I've forgot to keep the receipt in. " Kevin was calling the doctor to reconfirm their appointment while asking Raymond help for the supplement showcase later. Normally Kevin will be taking Iron and Vitamin D as his daily supplements because A: He had anemia that is caused by iron deficiency, and B: He rarely go outside to be under the sun, thus Vitamin D needed. On some occasions where he was sleep deprived, he will take Vitamin B as well, and every year he will be showing the doctor what kind of supplements he has in his daily life, despite the doctor already know since he's been their doctor for like 10 years.
On the contrary, Raymond does not believe in supplements needed in his daily life, he believed he can get everything he needs from daily food intake and he has been right. After all he is much more active than Kevin and being under the sun is a normal to him ever since his beat cop day.
"Dear, have you been taking these sleep aid supplement again? " Raymond found the melatonin bottle along with the other supplements and so he asked.
Kevin just finished his phone call with the doctor's receptionist and so he looked at him sheepishly: "Yes, I have. But not every day, only when I couldn't sleep. "
"How is it that I do not know this? How long has it been happening? " Raymond puts down the bottle and getting near to Kevin, almost holding him in his arms.
"It was… It was nothing, really. Just a couple of times. " Kevin looked at him in the eyes try to convince him, but he can tell his husband is lying.
"There is nearly half the bottle gone, Kevin. I am worried about you. " Raymond soften his voice so he doesn't appear to be interrogate his husband. Kevin slumps his shoulder to know that he could never deceive his husband, it has proven many times that Raymond is an exceptional detective and furthermore, he can read him like a book.
"Ever since the… Safe House incident, sometimes I will have nightmare and so I… took some of the sleeping aids. I didn't tell you because it was really just happening sometimes and I was able to sleep more normally these days, truly. " Kevin lean into him and pat him in the back to assure Raymond that he is fine, he doesn't have to worry about him.
Raymond knew that incident must have some aftermath for Kevin, it was such a traumatize experience yet he failed to notice his husband changes: "I am sorry, Kevin. You should have never been through all of that. "
Kevin shook his head and kiss him on the lips gently: "Stop apologize to me, it was not your fault. Raymond. And you have done everything you could, I am still here, aren't I? "
He looked him in the eye, the striking blues that fulfilled every moment in his life, and so he said: "Yes, you are. "
The trip to the doctor was smooth and the checkup has been performed swiftly, one week later they have another appointment where the doctor will review their screening report.
It usually went well as he and Kevin remain a pretty healthy lifestyle on their food and exercise, albeit lesser in the recent years but Raymond trust that they will have no big issue.
It was partially correct though.
"Mr Holt, your cholesterol level has been climbing up to the borderline number. " The doctor circled up the shockingly close to the unhealthy checkpoint number and said to him.
Raymond stares at his report, he could not believe it. After all, he's been eating healthily, doing exercises regularly with the fencing and squash, how had he come to this?
"As well as your liver function has been exceeding the normal number a little bit. The others have been perfectly in range and healthy! " Raymond looked at that number where it's higher by 2 points from the normal range.
To be fair, he does drink a lot more compared to before he came to the 99, mostly is they gathered at the bar a lot, and the cheap liquor has such nasty effects.
"Mr Holt, do not need to be too worried about these. At your age, your number is still very good. I wouldn't worry a lot about the cholesterol level or liver function number, but I do suggest you to be more active and less drinking if possible. " The doctor closed his report and gave his insights.
"I understand, thank you, doctor. " Raymond nods and put a mental note in his mind to be more active and he should drink less in those team gatherings at the Shaw's bar.
Or maybe he should just drink water only from now on.
"Your turn, Mr Cozner. " The doctor opens another report while Raymond and Kevin switched places on the chair. Kevin puts his hands on Raymond's shoulder to signal him comfort.
"How was your knees and throat? Are they doing okay? " Though before the doctor review the report, he asked about Kevin's current wellbeing due to Kevin had history of Osteoarthritis and Chorditis.
Kevin nodded along: "Yes, they have been improving a lot. " Raymond knows Kevin's knees has been in suboptimal state, according to doctor this is unavoidable as it was a natural degrade of his knees. That's why he never let Kevin hold any heavy object or doing any movements that require squads. And ever since couple years ago he had that Chorditis, his throat had become easily sore due to overuse them in the class.
These were old problems that Raymond hope that pain can leave Kevin alone, but to no avail and he guess it's just part of the life progress.
"That's good. Keep up with the medicine and you'll be alright. As for your screening report… " The doctor flipped on the pages of the report, from Raymond's eyesight, it seems everything is alright.
"Your result are very good! Nothing was excessive and every single number are within range. " The doctor smiled at his report and gave a clearance to him.
"That is wonderful. Thank you, doctor. " They finished their session soon after Kevin picks up his medicine from the pharmacy.
On their ride back to the house, Raymond still couldn't believe that he was not the perfect result man that he always secretly prided himself with. Even after they reached the house, he's still thinking about it.
"I could not believe that I had a red number this year. " He still stares at his report, on the sofa while Kevin is making them tea.
"It is okay, Raymond. We are getting old, and the doctor said do not worry. " Kevin puts out his tea and comfort him.
"I'll have to be more active I guess. Sadly, our squash club had been turned into a racquetball club. The audacity of those people. " Raymond picks up Kevin's report and read that it was indeed a flawless healthy report.
"I agreed. " Kevin is taking his Osteoarthritis medicine with the water, he will have his throat protection medicine after the dinner.
"I'm glad your results are good. Congratulations, Kevin. " He sips his tea while watching his husband swallowed the white pills in a weird face. His Kevin is not fond of having pills and always have it hard to swallow.
"Thank you, Raymond. Although I am the one who needs to keep having these medicine even though I have a perfect score on the screening. " Kevin pointed his medicine bag and sigh.
"You know these are two different things. And if you don't take it, your knees might be in great pain again. " Raymond hold his hand to be an emotional support, he has seen Kevin when his knees acting up, he couldn't afford to see that again, it breaks his heart.
"I know. I won't want to experience that pain again. " Kevin lies his head on his shoulder and happily sigh.
"Do you want a massage on them? " Raymond looked at Kevin's legs, it's been sometimes that he gave Kevin a massage. He normally done it to his neck and shoulder but he's very good at legs too.
"Yes I do. Thank you, Raymond. " And so Kevin moves his body to a proper position so that Raymond can massage his legs comfortably.
While Kevin looked at his man, his husband, and feeling the big warm hand from him on his knees, his eyes were soft and so he smiled.
'What a good day. ' He thought while he slowly falls asleep.
---
I normally write these in between of the long fics so I can escape to other ideas sometimes hahaha. These one-shots have not been edited though so 😅😅
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when you go in for a physical, and she asks if you can crap (quite well, thank you) and looks into your ears then says "you're fine to go, bye".
yeah...
Anyway, I managed to get her to let me get a blood draw since i was fasting for 24 hours. She only ordered for Hep C, Glucose, and Cholesterol. *sigh* I wanted to know if my levels are still bad and an updated CBC for the year. Glucose, normal. Hep C, negative. Cholesterol, rancid. like omg, fricking bad. omg, not surprised.
she texted me saying i should get on a diet. M'aim, I work out because it's fun and i am a freak. I look away from most foods that are not chicken, fresh veggies, and basic salads 90% of the time. I am just fat. I cannot get better health-wise with my diet and fitness than what i have been doing.
my boss looked at my lipid results and he was shocked at how high they were yet she doesn't want me on any high cholesterol medication.
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((wrt: T making you make more red cells, does this mean I can tell that rude fucking phlebotomist from my last blood donation that my hyperhidrosis is not causing my red count to be high its the T? its not something anyone had ever mentioned before and I've been on T less than a year, but she would *not* shut up about me being sweaty and how inconvenient that was for her))
((Wow. Tbh that sounds like a bit of a sketchy blood doc. While I’m not a blood doctor I HAVE been on T (in both it’s gel format to begin with so I wasn’t just straight up dumping a high dose into my system right from the start and the injections) for 5-6 years now and I DO see an endocrinologist who’s very good at working with T in this sense and explained a whole lot to me I would say that yes it’s the T and not the hydrosis (which I personally haven’t heard of as having any connection to a raised red cell count before).
To sum up what my specialist who’s helping manage my T and monitor my health while I’m on it has explained to me when it comes to T in a higher dose (ie the injections like Reandron) one of the more common effects it has is increasing your red cell count. This is why as part of the now annual blood tests she orders for me she includes red cell count alongside cholesterol, hormone levels and liver and kidney function.
High red cell count = thicker blood.
Thicker blood = more risk of clots and clot related complications.
This understandably is not ideal.
So for me when I was using the gel format of T in that first year or two of starting HRT my red cell count was fine because the gel is a lower dose.
Within a year of switching to the injections which I was getting every 12 weeks my blood tests showed a gradually increasing red cell count which by the time of my end of year appt with my endo was getting flagged by the test system as ‘problematic’.
Talking with my endo about this I could either go back to the gel which we both agreed wasn’t ideal at this stage because it’s a daily application that comes with a need to practice care around the elderly, small children and pregnant women plus it’s cold af to apply in winter.
My other option was to increase the time frame between injections and monitor my blood tests to see if that would bring the red cells down.
So we decided on that and I started getting the injections every 16 weeks instead. For me this worked because it was allowing more time between injections for the T to break down in my system so I wasn’t in a sense stacking T on T.
Of the 4-5 years I’ve been having the injections I’ve been getting them every 16 weeks for 3-4 years and I’ve found all the aspects that my blood tests check including the red cell count are settled within ideal ranges and staying there but the extra weeks between dosages isn’t having any effect on the desired effects T is giving me.
So since you’re having a high red cell count and are also on T I would definitely at the very least trial a delayed dosage schedule and see if that makes a difference.
As for your blood doc all I have to say is lady….people sweat. If you want a patient that doesn’t sweat work with reptiles.
Hope this is ok to post the reply publically but if not hmu and I can give you the answer in DM’s and delete this.
Also if you have any other T related Q’s I’m happy to answer them as best I can.))
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