#my childhood turtles (one of them)
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i love reading your tmnt rambles so much!!!! they’re so fun, I love analyzing media! yippie!! i love yipping and yapping about tmnt. also love Leo too- i don’t really have a fav turtle but smthg about Leo makes me go crazy everytime I think about him 😭. Also also i was wondering, how did you initially get into tmnt?
Aww thank you so much!! Yeah Leo also makes me go crazy too haha
I’ve been a fan of tmnt for as long as I’ve been alive tbh! My first introduction to them was a few old scattered ‘87 episodes that my brothers and I would watch, and then the live action movies after that, but I couldn’t tell you much about either (other than I remember really loving them.) 2003 came out when I was still little so I couldn’t quite catch it while it was airing much, so I watched that a little later (and while I LOVE this series I don’t remember as much about it as I wish I did, so I definitely need to rewatch sometime.) The 2007 movie was a lot of fun, as was Bayverse, but for some reason I barely saw any episodes of 2012 at all despite being the prime demographic for it (I am slowly making my way through it now though and it’s really good too!) Finally, I heard about RotTMNT and immediately fell in love with the style, so here I am now.
#non au ask#I think the batman special and the idw comics are the only tmnt stuff I haven’t touched#one day I’ll get to those#anyway yeah I am Old#not 87 old those were already out a loooong while by the time I was born but yeah#hence my bio saying old lol#2003 is prob my fav from childhood and may be my fav overall despite rise leo being my fav character in the entire franchise#2003 Raph is prob my fav after rise leo#tho tbh i genuinely really adore each and every turtle AND every april too#none of them get lower than b tier for me they’re ALL at least ‘good’
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...
ah
realized I missed a chance to genuinely record my initial reactions to the 03/07/12/14/Rise turtles as a first gen fan like how I’ve seen the kids recording their reactions to the 87 cartoon, 90s movies, and the brave and foolish rare ones who are intentionally watching Next Mutation
#which has been fucking HILARIOUS#the incredulity is delicious#them finding out where the easter eggs were? joyful#the cries of: this is where that came from????? melodious#i'm so entertained#seeing how the new gen fans feel about my childhood turtles#and i'm so curious if the kids ever wonder how the old fans would react#give or take the ones whose parents were/are fans#i still could but...#it just won't have that fresh-out-the-oven je ne c'est quoi
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Friends please witness these lil naked idiots that need a bath
#sucktacular sucks#i thought perhaps they managed to escape my sticky childhood grasps#but alas.... always sticky u_u#(idk man probably old juice that got spilled and missed. why was i like this ; 0 ;)#gonna get that baking soda slurry later#theyre kinda so ugly but so lovely in the same way#like that hamster... good god. but hes smiling so happy so i can't be a hater!!#i think i really like the turtles and bunny now that im older#but i was so obsessed with the lil kittens#i think i lost the lil orange one that came with the bulldog seasaw#so yhats why i have two of the bulldog and only one of her#remember being so sad on the playground looking for her but she was living her new life else where#also ill be careful washing them i prommy#i also collect different material dolls so i be knowing the horrors of acetone... but also the Savior#idk i just wanted to share!! thats 6th grade for me babyyyy#that and animal crossing wild world. i was a menace online truly
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My fave turtles from each iteration so far cuz lalal
Idk why i am doin this i just wanted to. its my blog okay.. i havent seen/read everything fully but i have moststuff so yeaarh
1984/Mirage: not familiar enough rlly, but probably Leo 1987: Probably Raphael (i see myself in him) or Leo 1990: Tuff but probably Raph again or Leo ^ haven't seen the sequels (well i saw half of the second but i didnt enjoy it so) We will not be discussing next mutation ! 2003: Also tough but Leo and then Mikey 2007: Raph (definitely NOT that Leo jfc) IDW: Leo then Donnie 2012: LEONARDO easily (but i love them all so much). He's my fave tmnt chara of all time actually like i can talk about 12 on and on and on. Like. like lalalala..... i like da way they combine all of the prev leos best traits and make this perfect nardo.... but you gotta ignore erm the whole karai situation to enjoy this character. but anyway all the boys in 12 are pretty miuch S tier if you ignore the romance erm esp mikey like hes lalalallala 2014-2016/Bayverse: Raphael followed by Donatello 2018/Rise: Leonardo but i love them all so so much esp mikey 2019/BVTMNT: Mikey or Leo 2023/Mutant Mayhem: Leonardo methinks But overall if someone asks me my fave ninja turtle im gonna say Leo. Like he lives in my head bro. He lives inside there..hlep........
#teenage mutant ninja turtles#yeaah#guys canyou tell i loveleo#I love raph too aswell like we have such a deep connection rooted in childhood#i relate to every evrsion of raph HELP !!!!!#i really relate to slash see myself in 12 raph and idw raph and 87 raph and 18 donnie#Everyone always says rise donnie but its like freaking uncanny if you know me irl#we are the same#we have the same hobbies and all#anywya#ryan rants#but yeyeesss mikey my chinchilla I LAUV HIM LALALlallal ilove them all#you might want me dead for few donnies#bit TRUST ME he lives in my head too#like habe u seen my blog i swear i draw him so much#but my overall ranking of like generla tmnt is#leo then mikey then raph then donnie i think#BUT I LOVE THEM ALL like its a TINY margin between each one#yk#besides leo hes like slightly high higher yk#i swear i dont even speak english atp
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happy earth day !! here are some longan fruits my grandfather grew :)
he is one of my biggest inspirations, nurturing my curiosity about the world and a love for the environment/nature in me, since I was young 🌱
his house is actually a jungle full of plants (and fishes),, i have learnt SO MUCH from him, and i would be a very different person without him! 💚
#I FORGOT to post about earth day#posting this in the . 2 mins left of it#but also this month is earth month !! pretty timely that i made this blog recently#my posts#earth day#longan#pics#okay tag ramble time#visited my grandfather today and it was so nice 🥺 i need to visit more often aaaaaaaaaa#exposure to all those plants through my childhood fundamentally did something to me#probably#eh didn't happen for my sibling but yea#😭 seriously learnt all about wild plants from him pointing them out whenever we went out#aa#💚#? this one is more personal#also he has some illegal turtles in his house lmao#bc it wasn't illegal when he bought them manymany years ago#okayi've spent way too much time on tumblr today whoop#btw i have scheduled posts every day but they will run out in a week :( probably not gonna do more
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cling to me
I know I said I was going to distance myself from this piece of media because of all of its terrible connections, but these two characters seem to have taken root in a permanent place in my heart, and I can't let them go.
Anyway, here's some character design notes below the cut for the one person out there who's obsessed with these characters as much as me.
Early DSMP: the era of childhood innocence
Bandanas: They sport each other’s bandana’s (they’re hidden in the design for every era). I love character designs with complementary colors (and I love how red and green are also cranboo’s colors)
Disks: Early on, cat and mellohi represent the peaceful moments ctommy shared with his favorite people, but they went on to be a symbol of victory and independence from the people who have hurt him.
Flowers: Ctubbo collects flowers and tries to memorize the meanings and symbolism tied to each type of flower. He also collects them for his bees.
L’manberg: the era where children became soldiers
Horns: Ctubbo’s horns start to grow in here.
Pogtopia: the era of an exile and a secretary of state / spy
You can tell I joined the fandom at the end of this era because I don’t have many notes here or for the l’manberg era.
Exile: the era of an exile once again and and a president too young
Hair: Ctommy’s hair starts to grow longer as he neglects taking care of himself.
Clothes: Ctommy’s clothes are tattered; one shoe is destroyed and he took to wearing cw-lbur’s (f-ck ccw-lbur btw!!) trench coat.
Bandages: Ctubbo’s wrapped in bandages from his recently earned firework burns. He’s gone blind in his right eye, and he’s missing the ring and pinkie finger on his right hand.
Compasses: They share their matching ‘your tommy’ and ‘your tubbo’ compasses
Hog Hunt: the era where one sought to kill the blood god while the other sought refuge there
Stolen goods: Ctommy’s has his antarctic empire outfit plus all the goods he stole from ctechno like the turtle helmet, golden apples, and the axe of peace.
Bedrock: Ctommy wears his counterpart piece matching techno’s from his ear.
Prosthetic: Ctommy’s right foot had to be amputated after he loses it to frostbite in the trek to cemeraldduo’s cabin. Ctechno gives him a simple prosthetic.
Disc Finale: the era of mended relationships and a final stand
Headband: Ctommy begins to wear a devil headband to fit in more, as he’s one of the few humans on the server. The devil horns were chosen to resemble ceryn’s real ones.
Patchwork: Ctommy learns to sew, and he fixes his tattered clothes from exile.
Post Revival:
Devil horns: Ctommy’s devil horns (plus a tail) become real after revival, and he gets a white streak in his hair.
Prime cross: The bad things that have happened to them both that they survived strengthen ctommy’s faith in prime, whereas they weaken ctubbo’s faith.
Sweater: Ctommy makes himself a sweater from friend’s wool.
Mechanical inventions: Ctubbo pursues his passion for engineering more as he makes mechanical bee drones and studies nuclear physics. He also makes himself prosthetic fingers, and he upgrades ctommy’s prosthetic foot.
Marriage ring: Ctubbo marries cranboo platonically and wears the ring on his horn. He also founds snowchester so he can have a place to protect his loved ones and raise his son. He grows out his hair to avoid eye contact for cranboo and to cover his scars.
Body type: Ctubbo gets chubbier and gains some muscle as he gets a bit happier in life.
Post DSMP:
The prison break and everything after it never happened. These are my OCs, and I make the rules because every actor/writer who played a part in their creation either abandoned them or turned out to be a terrible person. Cbenchtrio live happily ever after and begin their journey of healing while cdream rots in prison forever.
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Just a father and his sons :))
Hee hee I'm evil >:))
But seriously tho I still can't believe the creators orphaned them like that😭
I have always been curious about the turtles childhood and what their upbringing must've been like growing up. Especially since this version they never stepped foot out of the sewers until they were 15.
Lone rat and cubs is one of my top favorite eps out of the whole show. It's so bittersweet to watch and it genuinely brings me to tears knowing the futures they're all gonna have to endure and how much they grow into as ppl.
Wish we could've seen more of Splints being a dad. I wanna see the moment Mikey started calling him Papa, see him play more with his 2 eldest and feeding Don's curiosity for the world around him. I want to know more about this family cmon gimme gimme
Fun fact! this was all triggered by that one EP where splinter drunk fights his kids💀 ( it's the way he fought his sons, especially when he blew a raspberry on leo, that made me think)
I'ma call it 2012 Papa!Splinter doodles & this is gonna be pt 1✨
#I actually thought theyre were gonna be like SIKE just kiddin#like they always dide but then that headstone popped up#sat there in shock & then cried#lmao lil me was devastated#2012 splinter#turtle tots#tmnt 2012 fam🥺#im holding u in a box so gently#why is splinter so HARD to draw??#i had to fight with this man's proportions so much#there was 'no thought only fambly🥺' going in my head when i did this#so like it might not look good but its feels good yk?#tmnt 2012#2012 tmnt#2012 leo#2012 raph#2012 donnie#2012 mikey#splatter scribbles
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I’ve had this au in my brain for months now and only recently drew for it so I’m here to add to the pile of rise aus haha
It’s the standard separated au but my version B) - Donnie grew up with Splinter, Leo stayed with Draxum, Raph ended up at the battle nexus and Mikey was left to roam the streets of the Hidden City.
More info under the cut-
Donnie: The most mentally stable of the brothers somehow. He was raised in the sewers with splinter, and even though he did receive care, splinter still couldn’t really provide much in terms of affection. Despite that they still love each other, even if distantly. He’s chronically online. He knows every vine ever and plays fps games a lot yes I made him a gamer. He and April are extremely close in this au, having met at a young age and April being the closest thing Donnie has to a sibling until finding his brothers. Splinter also refuses to tell Donnie anything to do with mutants/yokai, or even where they came from, much to Donnie’s dismay. Without his brothers and their antics, he doesn’t get out much, and hasn’t made a battle/protective shell for himself yet.
April: She and Donnie met in early childhood and were practically inseparable, them both being only children, and they basically became each other’s annoying sibling. She’s the only reason Donnie came out of his shell (heh) and she likes to take him onto the surface streets for shenanigans.
Leo: Huguinn pulled Leo from the wreckage of Draxum’s lab and was raised in the rebuilt lab. Draxum genuinely didn’t expect the turtles to come out as literal infants after mutation so it’s a miracle Leo even survived this long lol. (Huguinn and Muninn did most of the work tbh) Draxum considers Leo to be a biproduct/fragment of a failed experiment and uses Leo more as an errand boy than anything else. Because of that Leo’s and Draxum’s relationship is also distant. Leo acts nonchalant and sarcastic for the most part, but he can’t help but want to please Draxum. Leo knows about his brothers and even tried looking for them early on, but eventually gave up. He and Donnie meet first. Also he sneaks out to get pizza at Hueso’s when he’s bored.
Raph: His and Mikey’s stories start out intertwined. They both ended up in the hidden city and lived out the early years of their lives there. When he was around 7 years old, Mikey being 5, Raph was taken as a contestant for a battle royale at the nexus, composed entirely of young yokai. (The battle nexus is quite literally a gladiator ring where contestants kill one another) Raph was taken due to his large size, and after managing to survive the battle royale, Big Mama allowed him to stay and become a fully fledged fighter at the nexus. He moved his way up in rank and became one of the top Nexus champions under the stage name, The Beast. He’s soft spoken and quick to anger at first, having received so little friendly interactions.
Mikey: He and Raph lived in the hidden city together until Raph was taken when he was around 5 years old. After that he was basically left to fend for himself. He survived via stealing and living on rooftops and alleys Aladdin style. He’s incredibly agile and a master pickpocket. He even made a name for himself in the district where he lives as the local thief. This, however, hasn’t dampened his spirits at all and he’s just as bright and bubbly as ever. He loves anything and everything to do with art and often does graffiti wherever he can. He’s an avid battle nexus fan and watches the battles whenever he can ( Leo is also a huge fan).
I’ve legitimately had this au in my head for months and this isn’t even close to everything I’ve conjured up but I had to make something for it or else I’d explode. Despite there being a lot of room for angst in this au, I imagine it as more lighthearted and similar to the show in terms of comedy. If you read this far congrats and give me your strength please
#rottmnt#my art#rottmnt au#rottmnt separated au#possibly: rottmnt but I make Donnie the stable one#spoiler alert he’s really not#broken hearts au
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Giggling at the fact that Donnie probably has a lot of only child habits like only getting food for himself and eating it Infront of them and getting genuinely annoyed if they try to steal some. Astonished when they borrow anything of his without permission (WHO MOVED MY PENS?!). Being genuinely perplexed when one of his chores gets done randomly 😭
Poor Donnie isn't in on any of the inside jokes probably 😔
LMAO yeah I've been thinking about Only Child Donnie a lot XD
For example, Donnie having no idea how to differentiate between normal sibling bickering and genuine fights. After Raph starts hanging out with Donnie and Leo, he'll get to see way more of that classic sibling bickering in action. And considering Leo's tension with the rest of his family during this time because of the whole Dark Armor incident, he'd worry that Leo and Raph still feel some actual resentment towards each other. Leo and Raph are arguing with each other to the point they start play-wrestling and Donnie is all like "shit shit what do I do they're gonna hurt each other" and the next second Leo and Raph are laughing at random some joke and Donnie is just left confused over the whole interaction because what even was that?? Weren't they mad at each other just a second ago??
I will say though, me and my sibling weren't the type to just share each others stuff freely. Well, we did when we were young, most of our toys we both played with. But maybe because of that we got a bit possessive over our own stuff as we got older (we also shared a room until I was like 10-ish, so we were probably both a bit desparate to become separate induviduals at that point). Point is, if my bastard of a sibling even DARED to step foot into my sacred abode (my room) without my express permission, they would be forced to face my unbridled fury (I'd gently beat them up with pillows)! And if they were to steal as much as a single pencil from my treasury, my wrath would lead me to even more drastic measures (I'd snitch to our parents)!
That being said, I have no idea how The Drax Bros behaved regarding this when growing up. IF they were the type to just yoink each others stuff constantly (which I definitely think is possible) you are completely right that it would drive Donnie up the wall if they did the same to him XD
In my experience and from what I've observed with others, when you have siblings close in age to you, you tend to develop a very intense obsession with everything always needing to be 100% fair and equal. For example, if you're cutting up cake and your siblings piece is as much of a millimeter wider than your own piece, it's basically the end of the world. I can see Leo and Donnie sharing a pizza and afterwards Leo's all outraged over Donnie getting more pizza than him. Donnie's confused cuz they each got an equal amount of slices, but then Leo accuses Donnie of getting all the SLIGHTLY bigger slices and as such got a LITTLE bit more pizza than Leo! Completely unfair!
Actually, Donnie being a math nerd would be good at measuring food in this scenario, his brothers would constantly try to get him to divide any food they're sharing to make sure it's as even and equal as possible. Donnie quickly gets tired of this, but the alternative is the other turtles all arguing with each other over who gets which piece which is even more annoying so he just goes along with it lol.
And oh yeah, Donnie definitely feels quite left out whenever his brothers joke about or even mentions something they did growing up that he did not get to partake in (little does he know that his brothers feels similarly whenever he and April do the same thing and references stuff from their shared childhood that they did not get to be part of)
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Oooo, can i plz hear all your jealousy HC for the bayverse boys? :3 hope ur week is going well!
oh my god yes
jealous turtles from most to least ◡̈
(all turtles + reader are adults ♡)
1. raph
c’mon, did you expect anyone else?
being a middle child with three brothers, raph grew up sharing everything he had—his food, his clothes, his personal space. so when he finds someone he has feelings for, he makes a point that he’s not going to share with anyone.
his brothers prefer to take more subtle, graceful methods of claiming their s/os when they feel threatened. raphael does not have a subtle bone in his body.
if someone tries to hit on you while he’s there, he will physically put himself in between the two of you, glaring down at his prey target until they take the hint (and probably flexing his crossed arms as he does so. he doesnt do all of that lifting for nothing).
vern tried to chat you up, once, when you first met. raph swiftly handled it, and you’re not exactly sure what was said, but vern now makes a point to keep a very conservative amount of space between you and him at all times.
a lot of his jealousy comes from insecurity—he definitely thinks you could do better, find someone you could actually walk around with, show off to your friends and go on vacations with.
so how does he cope? by proving his indispensability to you. when you date raph, you don’t lift a finger. need something from the top cabinet? he’s got it in his hands before you even have to ask. want to see a sold out concert? how convenient, he just managed to find some floor seats for you and your friends
don’t ask how he got them, it’s really best for everyone if you don’t actually know (both legally and ethically speaking).
asking someone else for help (god forbid you ask vern or one of his brothers, especially leo) will probably end up in some icy silent treatment and very short yes/no answers to questions that can only be cured by insistent apologies and lots of kisses
2. mikey
oh, our beloved little mikey
mikey spouts confidence, but much like raphael, he is deeply afraid that you’ll leave him for someone whose complexion is a little less green
while raph’s jealousy is defensive, mikey’s is pleading. he needs a lot of verbal reassurance that you’re his, nobody else’s
even when he’s not feeling jealous or insecure about the relationship, he just likes to hear you say it—and once you do, he’ll believe it wholeheartedly, all doubts and anxieties set aside (for the time being, at least)
when you’re around others (and even when you’re not) mikey is extremely physically affectionate, and probably will mention to anyone who will listen in a very unsubtle manner that the two of you are dating and really, really happy together, thank you very much
if you’re sitting, you’re sitting on his lap (or so close that you might as well be). if you’re standing, you can bet that he’s got an arm slung around your waist or your shoulder—just so everyone in the room is clear who you came with and who you’re leaving with
3. donnie
donnie’s jealousy is quiet. he’s much less outward about his feelings of jealousy than raph or mikey, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
when you mention a creepy guy from one of your classes getting a little too close for your comfort, he’ll nod and empathize; little do you know, he’s got the guy’s social security number, address, and name of his childhood pet pulled up on his laptop within seconds.
mysteriously, he doesn’t really show up for class anymore. rumours float around about some pretty shady things hes done being sent to the dean, president, and every RA on campus.
you confront donnie, and he just shrugs innocently. huh, weird, guess it’s a good thing you guys don’t hang out anymore then right? and then he’ll change the subject, but the triumphant gleam in his eye doesn’t go unnoticed
if someone starts to get flirtatious with you while donnie’s around though? all bets are off.
standing at 6’8 and made of pure lean muscle, donnie is fully aware of how intimidating he is, and it radiates off of him.
all it takes is one glare, leering from over your shoulder, and suddenly the person trying to flirt with you has some very important business to handle on the opposite side of the room for the rest of the night.
when you turn around to see donnie standing behind you, one hand on the small of your back, he’s back to his relaxed, smiley self
4. leo
leo is definitely the least jealous of his brothers. he’s confident, bordering on arrogant, and knows what he brings to the table.
i mean, c’mon. the barista who wrote their number on your coffee cup may be cute and share your taste in music, but how many times have they saved new york from an alien invasion? can they do anything to protect you in the event of a foot clan takeover?
didn’t think so.
communicating and trust are monumental to leonardo. right off the bat, he’s very straightforward about his intentions with you, and expects the same level of loyalty from his partner
leo’s trust isn’t easily earned so if he trusts you, then he does so completely and wholeheartedly. if you say that you and someone else are just friends, then he won’t think twice about it
that’s not to say he never gets jealous though. he’s just much more lowkey about it than the others
if you mention offhand being catcalled on your way to the lair one night, you’ll have a private escort for the foreseeable future
hes not big on pda, but you can bet that if he catches someone else’s scent on you, especially another guy, he’ll be extra cuddly when he sees you
he’ll for sure try to play it off though and subtly give you something that smells like him. oh, you seem cold, here’s one of his hoodies that he conveniently had on hand. go ahead and put it on. he’s just looking out for you, no ulterior motives here.
you see right through him, but you’re willing to look the other way for some extra snuggles.
#thanks for the submission i hope u liked it :)#donnie solves all of his problems by just straight up doxxing people#and hes so real for that tbh#i feel like its important to remember that they’re mutants and therefore arent gonna behave like regular people#especially when it comes to romantic relationships#like there’s definitely an animalistic edge to the way they approach romance and partnership#toxic? maybe. hot? absolutely#i just got accepted into FA school and i should be studying but here we are#tmnt headcanons#bayverse headcanons#tmnt bayverse#teenage mutant ninja turtles bayverse#bayverse donnie#bayverse raph#bayverse raph x reader#bayverse leo#bayverse michelangelo#bayverse tmnt#bayverse mikey#bayverse x reader#bayverse donatello#bayverse tmnt x reader#bayverse raphael#bayverse turtles#bayverse leo x reader#bayverse donnie x reader#bayverse mikey x reader
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Oh, remember that issue where the Cyber Samurai Ninja Turtles had to suit up to stop Verminator-X, who almost killed Mikey by cutting off his oxygen and putting him into a coma, but later he recovered and snuck onto a rocket? That was wild. I read that one and Blind Sight a lot as a kid.
Ah yes. Future Raph still being practical and introspective, young Raph still being impetuous and instinctual.
Between this and the comic Sons Of The Silent Age, it drives home how much the Ninja Turtles are NOT bound by human rules.
And why it's so fucking funny that purity cult antishippers have chosen this franchise to complain about. The amount of "none of this is real life, it can never be real life" we've had to explain is painful.
#Archie TMNT#my childhood turtles (one of them)#Mikey became a comic artist in this one and he runs an orphanage#Leo has his dojo and students#Raph is Mezcaal's husband and they run a restaurant together#Donnie made bank from his inventions and he has a leisure robe instead of knee pads#and they had the funkiest battle armor suits#it was great
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⋰˚☆ same time tomorrow?
with moving to a new town all hope seemed lost until you meet a certain neighbor boy.
kim jongseob x fem!reader
genre ☪︎ slice of life, angst, fluff, neighbors to lovers
warnings ☪︎ arguments, seob is mean at one point, typical high school drama
wc ☪︎ 2.9k mlist ☪︎
packing up your life and moving away was not in your life’s bingo card. yet here you were placing the last few items into boxes. taping the box, you walked it outside of your childhood home and to the huge moving truck. your heart felt heavy as you took one final glance at the house you grew up in. part of you was hoping your mom would change her mind on the new job.
the honking of her car horn was just another nail in the coffin. she was ready to leave this town, but you? you weren’t ready to leave your childhood home, your friends, hell, even your school. your whole life was here. with a heavy sigh you got in the passenger side of the car.
your mom patted your shoulder, “cheer up sweetie! this is a good thing. a new start, a better school.” she tried so hard to make this move an exciting thing. it just wasn’t to you. “i liked my old school,” you grumbled before placing your headphones in to drown her rambling out.
the drive seemed to take the longest. you were quiet the whole ride, still secretly wishing she’d turn around and refuse the new job. your friends we’re texting you the whole time, but it wasn’t the same. the car came to a stop in a driveway, the house it was connected to was decently sized.
the moving truck pulled up out front, the workers quickly getting to work. you decided to just take your things in. grabbing a box you got to work, taking in one at a time. it wasn’t until the last box, the universe decided to screw you.
when you lifted the box the bottom gave out, successfully spilling the contents inside. “no, no, no,” you mumbled. you got down on your knees to gather the items, which were mainly trinkets from your bedroom. a lot of them memories with your friends. “let me help.” you looked up and seen a boy leaning down.
“it’s okay.” you replied, both of you grabbing a small turtle figurine. his hands were soft, you thought. “i don’t mind,” he grabbed the last few things, putting them back inside the box. “thank you,” you said standing up. the boy smiled. “it’s no problem,” he stuck his hand out “i’m jongseob, i live next door.” he pointed to his house.
you took his hand in yours, “i’m y/n, i also live next door.” you smiled pointing to your new house. he released your hand, laughing slightly. “well it’s nice to meet you, sorry i should have brought a casserole.” he laughed. “oh my god.” you snorted.
“y/n, sweetie who’s this?” your mom asked as she approached the truck. “this is jongseob.” you introduced them. “nice to meet you.” your mom said before taking another box in. “anything i can help with?” he asked. “i mean sure, we have few boxes left. they’re labeled by room.” he nodded before grabbing a box.
you took your box in, carefully this time. on your way downstairs, you were met with jongseob holding a box. “says y/n’s room.” he said holding the box up. “oh um, follow me.” you turned and went back up, jongseob following. he sat the box on your bedroom floor. his eyes scanning the bare room full of boxes. your twin sized bed pushed against the wall.
“hey cool, your window is across from mine.” he pointed. you looked out the window, his window was across from yours. “the curtain is closed but that’s probably for the better,” he scratched the back of his neck “ i have to clean.” he joked.
“it’s okay, no judgment here.” you turned to your boxes. he looked at his phone. “it’s getting pretty late, i’ll see you soon okay?” he asked. you nodded and watched him leave. “bye.” he yelled, running down the stairs.
it took a few weeks before everything was unpacked, but only a day for you to become friends with jongseob. he got home that night and opened his window, “hey neighbor.” he grinned. you leaned towards the window, “hi neighbor.”
“y/n,” jongseob called. you peaked out your blinds before unlocking your window and opening it. “hi seobie.” he smiled, “your mom invited us over for dinner tonight.”
“really? she didn’t mention anything to me,” you frowned. “i guess my mom saw her at the grocery store.” he shrugged.
“not too excited are you?” he leaned closer. “it's not that, just i wish she’d tell me things before doing them.”
jongseob frowned, “this isn’t about dinner is it?” you shook your head. “i know you aren’t happy about the move and starting school, but the brightside is you met me.” he smiled which made you laugh. “thanks seobie.”
“now cheer up, i hate seeing you sad,” he stepped back from the window “i’ll see you at dinner.” you waved bye and closed your windows. you closed your curtains and walked to your closet. eyes scanning the outfit options, you decided on a nice summer dress. this was your first time meeting jongseob’s parents and you wanted to make a good impression.
when it was finally time for his family to come over you couldn’t shake your nerves. it was just dinner, why were you so nervous? the door bell caught your attention, “honey get the door please.” your mom yelled from the kitchen.
you opened the door and was greeted by jongseob’s smiling face behind him was his parents. his smile was contagious, “hi welcome.” you stepped to the side letting them in. your mom walked around the corner brushing off her shirt, “hi welcome.” she greeted.
taking a seat next to jongseob, he smiled at you. “hey neighbor,” he bumped his shoulder with yours. “hi neighbor.” through dinner you were in your own little world with jongseob, occasionally talking with your parents. “so y/n are you excited to be starting school here?” jongseob’s mom speaks. your eyes snap to her, “uh yeah, a little nervous though.” you admit.
“don’t worry sweetie, jongseob will be there.” your eyes turned to jongseob as he started choking on his water. out of instinct you began patting his back, “are you okay?” you asked. he held his hand up nodding, holding back to many coughs.
bidding your goodbyes, you helped your mom clean up dinner. “that was nice, you seem to really get along with jongseob.” she nudge you, “i mean yeah he’s my friend.” you answered ignoring the rapid beating of your heart. she continued to talk but you drown her out, your mind thinking back to jongseob.
he was all that was on your mind all summer. the late night talk through the windows, the ice cream dates, the walks around the neighborhood. nothing could of prepared you for how hard and fast you fell for him.
as the summer days started to fade, you knew school was approaching. “are you nervous?” you asked. jongseob shook his head, “no not really.” he vaguely answered. you furrowed your eyebrows. “i guess you wouldn’t be, i am though.” you admitted. “it’s just school.” he mumbled, but you heard him.
“i think i’ll go to bed now, same time tomorrow?” you asked. jongseob nodded and closed his window, before you could even say goodnight. ignoring your heart you closed your window, laying down. what had gotten into him?
jongseob wasn’t at the window the next night, the next few nights to be exact. you had left yours open in hopes he would come but he never did. it made the night before school a million times worse. your nerves at an all time high, yet his window was shut. he didn’t answer any of your texts, it was like you had made him up.
“y/n,” your mom said opening your door. you were already awake staring out your window. “come on sweetie it’s time to get ready, jongseob’s mom said the bus comes around 7:30.” your stomach churned at his name. “i’ll be down,” she smiled and kissed your head before leaving.
after getting dressed you met your mom for breakfast. “oh sweetie you look beautiful,” she pulled you into a hug. your arms lazily wrapped around her. “eat up, you have a wonderful first day.” she waved, grabbing her work bag and leaving.
your legs carried you to the bus stop, where there was a few different kids in uniforms. jongseob was around a few other boys. your eyes met his briefly before he looked away. the boys around him were laughing at something on the phone. you took a breath and texted him simply saying hi. you heard his phone ding, he looked towards you but didn’t say anything.
he didn’t reply either, you sighed putting your headphones in. it wasn’t enough to drown out the ache in your heart. fate seemed to be not on your side, you shared a few different classes with jongseob. your other classes seemed to have at least of of the other two boys. it’s like you couldn’t escape it.
“hey i saw you at our bus stop this morning, are you new? i’m intak,” he stuck his hand out. you looked up, “um yeah i’m y/n.” you shook his hand. “nice to meet you.” he spoke before joining up with his friends.
when the end of the day finally came, you were releaved to be back home. “how was your first day?” your mom asked while plating dinner. “it was good,” you lied. “i’m so happy to hear that, did you share any classes with jongseob? i’m happy you made a friend like him.” she gushed.
“yeah jongseob is great,” you lied again. your mom smiled happy with your answer. once she dismissed you from dinner, you took off to your room. with a heavy heart you opened your window. jongseob’s bedroom light was on but his window and blinds were closed.
you kept your window open for as long as you could, but the night got later. sadly, you closed your window. of course he wouldn’t come to his.
unfortunately the next few weeks got worse, a group of girls decided you were public enemy number one. making your school life a living hell any chance they got. the worst part is no one said anything about it, the teachers did nothing to stop it.
it happened at lunch, you were waiting in line when they approached you. “hey y/n,” you ignored them. you couldn’t ignore the cold liquid that ran down your back. you jumped forward and screamed, “what is wrong with you?” the laughed.
your eyes scanned the cafeteria looking for an escape, your eyes landed on jongseob.
you looked at him sadly once his friends joined in the laughing. your feet carried you out of the cafeteria, not missing the chance to bump jongseob’s shoulder with yours. what were you expecting him to do? play hero, give you his jacket? of course not.
it took about twenty-five minutes to dry your shirt, and get a new one from the secretary. the walk back to class was a long one, of course you didn’t want to go back but your bag was there. the sound of laughter caught your attention, your feet frozen at the door when you heard what was being said.
“jongseob is so sweet, i just wish he’d look at me the way i look at him,” giggles. “stop it.” your heart started to race hearing jongseob’s voice.
“i’m not finished seobie,” the girl said. “he doesn’t even keep his curtains open anymore, oh my god she’s a creep.” more laughter filled the room. tears welled in your eyes. “i just wished he liked me how i like him,” jongseob snatched the little book containing your deepest secrets and feelings.
“i don’t like her i never will.” he snapped shoving the diary back in your bag. once the laughter died down you rushed in with your head down, quickly grabbing your bag. you checked to make sure all your stuff was inside. “don’t worry your stalker diary is still there.” the girls laughed again.
you made eye contact with jongseob. only when he noticed your tearful eyes did he start to feel bad. “y/n,” he started but you walked away before he could finish. how could you have been so stupid? of course he doesn’t like you. were you over bearing? did you scare him away?
the walk home was long, thankfully it was the weekend and you could have two days of peace without those girls, without jongseob. your mom didn’t question your absence at dinner, and you were thankful.
jongseob sighed seeing your window shut and curtains closed. his heart ached. all he wanted to do was apologize. even if you rejected him at least he’d get to apologize. he needed to do something.
it was jongseob’s turn to hopelessly wait for your window to open. he’d wait everyday after school, during the weekends. he sent countless texts that were always left unanswered. how could he have been so cruel? his heart ached when he remembered how bad he treated you.
his eyes searched the school to catch a glimpse of you, but he never got one. you had gotten too good at avoiding him. “i don’t know what to do,” he groaned laying his head on the table. “what are you on about now?” shota asked. “y/n, she’s ignoring me, “ shota scoffed, “ i’d avoid you too if you openly said you’d never date me. that’s heart breaking dude.” jongseob groaned, “dude that’s not helping.” shota sat up, “well you broke her heart, why were you ignoring her anyway?” jongseob sighed, “ i thought the guys would laugh if i was friends with a girl.” shota smacked jongseob’s shoulder. “you idiot,” jongseob groaned holding his shoulder.
intak approached the pair. “hey guys, seob what’s up with you?” he sat next to them. “jongseob is trying to win y/n over again,” shota explained. intak laughed, “ good luck dude she’s super upset with you.” he opened his bag of chips.
jongseob sat up quickly, “how do you know that?” intak ate a chip and shrugged, “i share a class with her.”
jongseob sighed, “what do i do? she won’t even talk to me.”
“have you tried throwing rocks at her window?” intak asked shoving more chips in his mouth. jongseob’s eyes widened, “intak you genius.” he spoke scrambling up before rushing off.
he waited until your bedroom light came on, his pile of rocks by his sneakers. heart practically beating out of his chest. this was his one shot to get your attention. the rock felt heavy in his hand but not as heavy as his heart, letting out a sigh he tossed the first rock. it ticked off the window but the sound wasn’t loud enough. a few more duds were thrown before he moved onto a bigger rock.
he wasn’t expecting that one to shatter the glass. his eyes went wide and he cringed hearing it. a few seconds later your window flew open, “what the hell jongseob?” you whisper yelled. your eyes were furious but he didn’t care because you were finally looking at him again. “y/n,” he said your name. your heart ached. “what do you want jongseob?”
“i want to apologize, i’m sorry for hurting you,” you scoffed. “it’s going to take a lot more than that, you really hurt me.” jongseob’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. “i’ll do anything y/n, just please don’t shut me out anymore.” he was begging at this point. “maybe you should of thought about that before shutting me out,” you wanted to slam your window closed but you couldn’t bring yourself too.
“i know and i’m sorry, i was scared. i know that’s not an excuse but i’ve never liked anyone before i never had a friend who was a girl. i was afraid of what people would say.” he felt ashamed. “you should of been honest with me.” you began to carefully pick up pieces of glass from the window.
“y/n?” he called. “yeah?”
“same time tomorrow?” he was hopeful. “goodnight jongseob.”
your window closed, he felt like his whole world just crashed down around him.
for a week, he waited with his window open everyday after school. it was friday, jongseob had skipped school faking being sick. in reality he couldn’t go another day of being ignored by you at school, and his friends giving him the look of pity. he sat at his desk mindlessly tapping a pencil, his window open.
your window opened, “jongseob.” you choked out. his eyes snapped to you, taking in your puffy eyes. “y/n, what happened?” he asked. “t-they ripped up my journal and made copies of the pages.” you cried, regret filling you for ever taking it to school. “oh y/n i’m so sorry.” he said. you sniffled, “it’s not your fault, those girls are cruel.”
“still they’re being mean and i should have stopped it way before this.” he was upset with himself. “it’s okay really, it would have painted a target on your back, defending the new girl.” you let out a bitter laugh. “i should've been your friend.” he snapped. you sighed, “what’s happened, happened we can’t change the past.” you shrugged.
“no but we can change the future, i’m sorry for hurting you y/n, i really care about you and i would love it to be your friend again.” he admitted, he was practically holding his heart out to you. “seobie, i would love nothing more than to change the future with you.”
he smiled at you, and for the first time in months you smiled at him in return. “same time tomorrow?” he asked. you smiled, “same time tomorrow.” you answered.
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Hey! Saw your post abt asking for more dadrry and I love sending these to you so here goes: Harry’s been noticing that his wife is a bit down lately. It’s not because of anything in particular she still loves all of them but she’s just a bit bored at home with him back at work after a short parental leave to take care of the baby and their oldest daughter at school now. So one day he concocts a plan with their oldest kid and takes her with him to the pet store to pick up something to keep his wife company
——
It was Harry's last day of parental leave, and he noticed you were apprehensive about it. He had been at home for twelve weeks, savoring time with his three girls. Now, he was leaving the little bubble of bliss and heading back to work.
He empathized with you, knowing the daily parenting routine would weigh heavily on your shoulders. A part of him didn't want to leave you. It wasn't that he didn't trust you—he simply dreaded missing milestones, cuddles, and the mere pleasure of watching you as a mother.
Harry was out and about running errands with his eldest daughter to enjoy some quality time together before tomorrow arrived. He stocked up on groceries so you wouldn't have to worry about it for a while. He had also already decided to freeze several home-cooked meals to make it easier on you, as well as occasionally bring dinner home from work if he had the opportunity. Next on the list was buying more diapers and baby powder.
You had told him the days would be long and boring without him home as the main entertainer for the girls. Last night, before he had fallen asleep, he brainstormed ways that you could pass the time while he was working. You obviously had the kids to take care of, but there would be moments, like during nap time, when you'd be sitting in the house with nothing to do.
It was easier with the first kid since all you did was nurse and soothe cries. Now, you needed a distraction for both the kids and you.
"Daddy, can we go see the animals?"
Harry was buckling his daughter in her car seat when she asked the question. Her little finger pointed next to the grocery store they were just at, where a pet store resided. He'd never ventured in there before simply because he had to reason to. Now, he had a daughter who loved every animal that roamed the earth and held a curiosity toward any signs of them.
He sighed and unbuckled her. There was no chance he'd have said no, even if he did want to soak up family time in the comfort of his home. But his baby girl got what she wanted, at least when it was a reasonable request.
Steady rainfall dotted his clothes and frizzed his hair as he speed-walked toward the automatic doors with his daughter on his hip. It was Sunday, so there was a slow stream of people driving around and walking past the line of stores and boutiques.
Inside the pet store, an unknown smell greeted him, as well as two green parakeets perched in a large, luxurious birdcage. His daughter gasped with a wondrous smile, listening to them chatter and squawk noisily. Further past the several species of birds placed near the storefront window were glass terrariums with bearded dragons, nonvenomous snakes, and slider turtles. They all moved leisurely and held zero interest in visitors.
In the back, a dark section dimly lit by blue aquarium lights showcased rows upon rows of glass tanks filled with freshwater fish galore. Some of Harry's cherished childhood memories involved lingering near the fish section at pet stores, feeling like he was in a secret underwater world that no human could enter.
"All right, lovebug," Harry said. "I have a question. Should we get Mommy a fish to take care of?"
"Yes!"
"Let's pick one out. I'll even let you get one if you want."
"Really?"
He jostled her playfully. "Of course. We'll put it in your room and help you feed it."
She rested her head on his shoulder and softly said, "Thank you."
His heart melted a little bit as he kissed her temple and set her down. "Anything for my sweet girl."
They walked hand in hand past the tanks and admired the different species of fish floating in the water—goldfish, cichlids, tetras, and ones he couldn't name.
"I want one of those." She pointed to some nearby shelves, where there were little glass containers with betta fish swimming around in them. Many were vividly multicolored. It seemed like a perfect distraction for your mind. Nothing too high-maintenance or in need of too much attention.
"Yeah?" He stalked over to the shelf. "Which one?"
"Purple," she said decisively.
"And which one for Mama?" he asked.
"You pick."
Harry browsed the options. They were all magnificent to look at, but one in particular grabbed his attention. On the bottom shelf, there was a pearl-white betta fish that looked like a wispy angel. Harry crouched and closely inspected the harmless creature. It was beautiful, with an appearance of quiet elegance. Just like you.
"Definitely this one," he said, picturing it in a bigger tank with aquarium pebbles and plants and maybe a rock cave to sleep in.
Harry waved over a store associate and got the checkout process started. Within ten minutes, he was carefully carrying two glass containers with the new pets and pushing a shopping cart with two separate two-gallon tanks, pellets, and a couple of cheap aquarium decorations.
When they arrived home, Harry walked through the front door and saw you sleeping on the couch. The baby must have been napping as well, which was really the only time you or he could catch up on sleep. He smiled to himself, a lovely ache pulsing in his heart. If it was possible, he'd stay home with you forever and have "parent" be his singular job title. Alas, he was a needed man outside the home.
His daughter skipped toward you, clearly excited to reveal the surprise. Harry slowly walked over with the fish and crouched next to your sleeping form. Quietly beautiful.
"Sweetheart," he whispered, softly stroking your cheek with his knuckles.
You sleepily opened your eyes, squinted at his face, and then hummed happily. "You're home." The way you said it sounded relieved, which made him not want to be released from his sabbatical. If only he could work from home.
"We got you something," he said, turning to his daughter so she could do the honors. She took the container with the white betta fish and held it out like it was a sacred gift meant to be handled with the utmost care and respect.
"What is... oh my, what is this?" you asked, your expression morphing into amazement. "Where did you get this?"
"We went to the pet store, and Daddy said that me and you could get pet fish."
You quickly noticed the other betta fish that Harry was holding, and your eyebrows drew together. "What's the special occasion?"
Harry tucked the blanket further up your body and said, "Tomorrow is going to be rough, so I thought you could use a distraction when the days are long without me here."
Your jaw dropped a little as you took the container and closely watched the wispy specimen swim in circles. "That's so thoughtful, Harry."
"Thank your daughter," he replied, kissing your head as he stood up. "She convinced me. Thankfully, she picked an easy animal to take care of." He couldn't imagine if he came home with a slithery snake or an obnoxious bird. This was a peaceful pet that didn't really do much of anything. Something you could simply admire and keep satisfied through simple measures.
He never thought getting you a fish would be a part of his lifelong repayment for two precious children, but it was the most spontaneous moments that mattered most.
——
#harry styles imagine#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurb#dad!harry#dadrry#harry styles fluff#harry styles au#harry styles#adore-laur
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till you can breathe on your own
rise of the tmnt word count: 20k i wrote this fic for the turtle trenches server’s november gift exchange ! my giftee was @acewithapaintbrush and ace’s prompts were “found family, leosagi, wholesome disaster twins, and splinter being a good dad to the boys.” instead of being normal and picking one i decided to create an au that included all of those things at once and this is what i came up with. ace i really hope you enjoy it <3 happy turtle day ! title borrowed from keeping your head up by birdy
read on ao3
x
When Leonardo was eight years old, he and his best friend survived a house fire.
The blaze was put out thanks to a passing yokai with a magic spell for rain newly purchased that she was happy to use to help, but two of the children attending lessons there came up unaccounted for. Panicked neighbors searched for upwards of an hour only to find the boys fast asleep in a cart of clean linens parked out front of the bath house.
There was a faint trace of mystic energy lingering around them but no one came forward as the one it belonged to, and they wouldn’t be able to explain what had happened. One minute they were trapped and frightened, and the next everything was blue and they were safe.
Ultimately the rescue was credited to a powerful good samaritan who wished to remain anonymous, and the townsfolk collectively decided to be grateful for the miracle without unraveling it any further.
Leonardo’s friend moved away while his house was repaired, and Leonardo was returned to where he belonged at the local orphanage. He smiled when the matron fussed over him, even though he didn’t feel like smiling, and continued to pretend like he didn’t hear the other kids calling him bad luck.
“You’d think someone would want him,” one of the older kids whispered during lunch. “Last time we had a turtle here they got snatched up in like a week.”
“Miss Toto says that way of thinking is archaic,” a tiny otter yokai piped up with remarkable authority, given that he clearly didn’t know the meaning of the word he was repeating. “Kameko has as much of a chance as the rest of us do.”
“Clearly,” the older kid muttered.
Leonardo, who wasn’t Leonardo yet—who was called Kameko by the orphanage matron because she wasn’t especially creative, and Lucky by the other kids so they could be mean in a sneaky, underhanded way, and Stripes by his best friend, who mattered more than any of them—spent a lot of time dreaming of having a chance.
He had no way of knowing that at the same time, miles away and a city above, an early-middle-aged man run ragged day in and out by three energetic children and sloughing through a persistent sadness was dreaming, too.
The man was dreaming of his own childhood; a garden with a pond and lines of laundry drying in the late summer sun, a delicious smell sneaking out the kitchen window where jiji was grilling fish for dinner, his mother lifting her head to grace him with a smile he once took for granted.
In the dream, she had to reach up to hold his face, because he was the same age now as she was when she died and several inches taller than her in adulthood. She didn’t mind his fur or snout or big rounded ears, and if anything the involuntary twitch of his whiskers only made her smile deepen.
“My sweet boy,” she murmured, “I’m so proud of you.”
“How?” he choked out. He clung to her arms. He had a thousand things he wanted to tell her. All that came tripping out was, “How can you be?”
“Because I know how big your heart is,” she said, her tone leaving no room for argument. “You love so richly and earnestly. Even after that was taken advantage of and betrayed, you found more room in your heart for your little ones. Your little turtles.”
The thought of his sons pierced through the gloom of self-hatred like an arrow of light, as simple as flipping a switch in a dark room. He wouldn’t trade a moment with them for anything—not even for another moment with his mother. The overwhelming grief and love coexisted as naturally as two little otters holding hands at sea.
“But don’t you know?” she asked. “Can’t you feel it? Did it get lost in that big heart of yours? One of your children is waiting for you.”
He jerked as if electrocuted, going stiff and still beneath his mother’s hands, because she couldn’t mean to say what it sounded like she was saying.
That tiny fourth turtle with the blue-patterned shell and bright gold eyes—the first one to smile and reach up to be held, the one that had fallen during their frantic escape and was left behind in the crush of the destroyed lab—the one the little shrine in his room belonged to, even though he didn’t have a proper photo, or a decent idea of what Blue would have looked like grown into personhood—the one that a corner of his heart belonged to, even now, even still—
“He’s alive, my darling,” his mother told him. In the dream, she sounded so certain. The clan symbol on her obi seemed to glow, a warm, shining thing that cast all darkness and doubt aside. “Go and bring my grandbaby home, okay?”
Hamato Yoshi woke up with a gasp, half-blinded by tears.
——
The boys took the news as well as they possibly could have. It would have felt wrong not to tell them—cruel to keep them in the dark, even if it would shelter them from a hope that might only lead into a dead-end.
They already knew of their fourth sibling, having long-since discovered the little shrine in Splinter’s room during a pre-Christmas snooping several years ago, but there hadn’t been much that Splinter could offer them when they peppered him for information and eventually those eager questions tapered off. They had only had a few months together in Draxum’s lab before Splinter could stage their escape and bring the facility down behind them—before tragedy had carved a hole into their brand-new family—and that wasn’t long enough to have more than a handful of stories to share. To do the baby’s memory anything resembling justice.
But since waking up from that dream, Splinter had reached out with his ninpo in the way he hadn’t done since he was very young, like stretching out an atrophied limb, and he felt it. A fourth presence in his heart. It was a very faint echo somewhere far away, like an imprint of smoke left in the sky after a firework. Distant now and fading, but once-bright. Once-blue.
And he knew. He knew Leonardo was alive.
“Red, you are in charge,” Splinter said, jittery with anticipation. He spared a moment to cup the snapper’s cheek in his palm, brushing his thumb over the rosy-colored diamond pattern there, and added, “Aunt June’s phone number is on the fridge if anything happens—but nothing had better happen! April can visit but you are not allowed to leave our home until I return.”
Red nodded several times, twisting his fingers together. He had inherited Splinter’s anxious heart, but he took being the oldest very seriously, and failure more seriously than that, for all that he was only nine.
“Are you going to get Leo?” Orange piped up, bouncing in place. He had, in fact, not stopped bouncing since he had gleaned the gist of the conversation that began nearly a full hour ago. “Are you going to bring him home?”
“I am going to try,” Splinter said, kneeling so that he could poke his youngest baby playfully in those ticklish spots on his sides that always elicited a sunny giggle.
Orange trilled in glee, and then he pulled his limbs and head into his tiny shell the way he often did when he was overexcited or overwhelmed and continued making turtle noises to himself from inside there.
Splinter caught the talkative box shell before it could clatter to the floor and offered it to Red, who held it to his front the way he hugged his stuffies.
“Okay my sweet boys,” Splinter said, “stay here and be good and I will see you in a short while.”
Purple trailed him to the front door, or what served as such in their repurposed underground home. After tugging on his coat and boots, Splinter turned to him and crouched down so they were at something approaching eye-level, even if eye contact did not seem to be on the table this morning.
“You said we hatched at the same time,” Purple surprised the hell out of him by saying. His recalcitrant softshell son very rarely spoke aloud unless asked a direct question, and here he was volunteering whole sentences without preamble. “You said he came out of his egg right after me. He had stripes, and eyes like mine. You called us twins.”
Leonardo was not a forbidden topic in their home, but he was a bit of a sore one. It ached to press on the bruise that was their missing part. Purple in particular had a difficult time making himself understood and being understood in turn. He was also incredibly stubborn, and hard to match wits with.
A twin must have sounded like a dream. Splinter wondered when Donatello had first shaped this little wish out of clay, and how often he spent taking it out and admiring it, wearing the rough edges into smoothness, giving it substance and character until all that was missing was the life. The color.
“He was not the same species of turtle as you,” Splinter said. “But you did hatch together, and you did have the same eyes. Blue would fuss at bedtime until I placed him on your shell. You tried to take chunks out of the alchemist’s fingers whenever he parted the two of you.” For tests, he didn’t feel it was necessary to add. He offered his hands, and added, “So that is what I called you. My twin babies.”
After a moment, Purple took his hands. His mouth was a firm line, golden eyes glued to the floor. There was enough of a wet shine in them that Splinter’s heart strained with the need to right every wrong for him at once.
“I will find him, Donatello,” Splinter said. “Now that I know he is out there waiting to be found, there is nothing that can stop me. It might take a long time, but we have waited quite a while already, haven’t we?”
Purple nodded, and then stepped forward to bury his snout in the front of Splinter’s coat. It meant that a hug would be not only tolerated but appreciated, and Splinter didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around his little boy.
“Go on now,” Splinter said, only when Purple had extracted himself. He turned the child around by the shoulders and propelled him back to where Orange and Red were waiting. “I love you, little monsters,” he called loud enough to be heard by all three of them. “If the lair is still standing when I get home, you will get ice cream.”
Their noisy cheers followed him down the tunnel, warming him more effectively than direct sunlight ever could.
And now Splinter was back in the Hidden City, although he had sworn to himself he would never return.
His heart was racing, every nerve a livewire, so prepared he was for danger around each corner. He had hoped that the mad alchemist died in the destruction of the lab—had comforted himself with the fact, even, on those nights he woke up from bad dreams—but with Blue’s miraculous survival, Draxum might very well have lived too. Like a cockroach.
And so he was hesitant to trace his steps back to the ruins of Draxum’s lab. He was not even sure if he would be able to find it. There was a restless, dislocated thing inside of him that made standing still a painful exercise, he so badly wanted to run and run until he found the little turtle he was looking for—he just didn’t know where to go. Where to start. The Hidden City was larger than he remembered.
“Excuse me,” someone said, startling him. He turned to find a short beetle yokai in a rumpled button down shirt and slacks standing just behind him, mandibles clicking idly. The beetle smiled and said, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but notice you seemed lost. Can I help in any way?”
It was Splinter’s first instinct to deny the apparent kindness. Lena—or Big Mama as she was called—had carved out the remains of his idealism as deftly as a gardener pulling up the last stubborn weed in a flower bed. People, he had been taught, were rarely kind for no reason.
But April’s mother was a force of nature in her own right, and had bullied Splinter into friendship with her within a week of their children meeting. A New Yorker to her core, June O’Neil had only needed a moment to adjust to the sight of a mutant rat and three mutant turtles, at which point any lingering strangeness was overshadowed by the relief of finally having another single parent to commiserate with. She was on-call for every scare, every tantrum that left Splinter feeling out of his depth, every milestone. She refused to allow him to wallow in self-pity while he had three little boys to raise.
June was the sole reason that there were a few shoots of hope growing in the ruin Lena left of him, stubborn and resilient and flowering. People were rarely kind for no reason, but rarely did not mean never. There was goodness to be found if one took the time to look for it. The risk did not always pay off, but the reward when it did was worthwhile every time.
And so Splinter took his heart in his hands and faced the stranger and said, “Yes, please. If you’re able. I need help.”
The beetle yokai, a friendly, down-to-earth character named Cricket, listened to the bare bones of Splinter’s story and immediately began to guide him down the street. It was a street that would not have looked out of place in Osaka in the 80s. There were storefronts with neon signs and restaurants with enticing noren doors and the steady foot traffic of thousands of yokai milling about their day. No one paid a tall rat mutant any mind.
“You’ll want the Chamber of Decisions,” Cricket said with a certainty that settled one small inch of the chaos in Splinter’s heart. “There will be someone there who can help you find your son.”
The beetle yokai took time enough out of his own day to show Splinter all the way through a startlingly mundane municipal building to a floor with a placard on the wall declaring it the Civil Courts. He even waited in line with Splinter, making pleasant conversation, until it was his turn to step forward and address the employee behind the front desk.
“Goodbye,” Cricket said at that point, stepping away. “And good luck!”
He was gone before Splinter could thank him, and the gazelle yokai behind the desk repeated, “Next,” in a tone that suggested she would be deeply unhappy to say it a third time.
“Yes,” Splinter said quickly, “sorry, that’s me.”
“What is your name?” the yokai asked briskly. She had long spiraling horns and a long, narrow face, deceptively delicate. She wore a badge on a lanyard around her neck that read Helena, Court Clerk, and then a mess of characters beneath it that did not look like English or Japanese.
“Hamato Yoshi,” Splinter replied by rote. When he spoke, a small crystal hovering unobtrusively above the desk glowed a clear spring green. It seemed to indicate his truthfulness, because the yokai didn’t request any further proof of identity.
“Hamato?” the yokai, presumably Helena, said with a spark of interest. She read something from the text that populated on the holographic tablet in front of her and then added, “We have a backlog of forms here for you. It has been a long time since someone has claimed tenancy of your clan’s branch house in Neo Edo. I assume that’s why you’re here?”
“Uh,” Splinter said intelligently, “no. What?”
“The Hamato Estate,” Helena said. She seemed less than impressed with him. “The one that has been sitting in disrepair and bringing property values of the neighborhood down for more than a century. That has nothing to do with your visit today?”
The Chamber of Decisions was very human in structure, and the bureaucracy was completely disarming. Splinter didn’t know what he showed up expecting to find here but he sort of felt as though he was walking through a lucid dream.
“Sorry, no, I—I was unaware my family had any dealings in the Hidden Cities at all. I was raised in Japan. In—a human city in Japan. And now my children and I live in New York.”
Helena’s expression cleared with understanding, her attitude suddenly more helpful as she seemed to realize Splinter was not being willfully obtuse. She opened a drawer of the filing cabinet beside her desk and rifled through it until she came up with form after form that accumulated in an intimidating heap.
Splinter bit the inside of his mouth so that he wouldn’t say something unfortunate. He was catching up to himself, the surprise and uncertainty of the situation he had found himself in fading into the background, his single-minded focus sharpening into a point once again.
Blue had waited long enough to be found. It was deeply unfair to make him wait even a moment more. And unfair to Splinter, too, who just wanted to be given a direction that he could run in until he could scoop his son up and never let him go again.
“Excuse me,” Splinter said, wrestling with himself until a semblance of good manners won its cage match with snarling impatience, “but I am here because I was told you might help me locate a missing child.”
The gazelle’s head jerked up, hooved hands stilling. “What missing child?”
For the second time that day, Splinter explained his situation to a stranger. Not the whole thing; not the nature of his or his sons’ mutations, or the desperate life-or-death struggle that preceded their flight from the destroyed lab into the nearby city—this city—and then ultimately New York. But the gist of it. The fire, and the baby who fell from his arms, and the long years he has spent mourning a son he thought had died. That much he imparted as succinctly as he knew how.
Helena punctuated his story with clipped nods, listening intently. She sifted through the stacked bundles of paperwork and withdrew two or three that she placed on the top of the pile.
“We will register you and your children as citizens of the Hidden Cities,” she said firmly when Splinter had finished detailing the dream that led him to believe his son was alive. “Your clan has already been established here for centuries, so this will not take long. As a citizen you will have the full weight and reach of this court’s resources behind you. We will locate your son.”
If there had been a chair behind him, Splinter would have collapsed into it. As it is, he only swayed on his feet for a moment, before mustering a hoarse, “Thank you.”
After the dream of his mother, Splinter had been feeling acutely guilty of the way he had left his family name well behind him, crafting a new identity for a new life in America. Now he was only grateful that Lena and that lunatic Draxum would not think twice about a rat mutant named Hamato Yoshi, or his children.
It felt surreal to write down their names—Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo. For so long, they had been only his precious joys. The human world was not one he could trust to appreciate them. The O’Neils were a shining exception, one in a million. So his little family was kept a well-guarded secret.
And now here he was, signing an official document that gave his turtles another place to belong, a place that could not be taken away by a mad alchemist or scheming spider.
“If you come with me, I can take you to the appropriate department,” Helena said, cordial and efficient as she placed the last of the paperwork in a folder that glowed a friendly green before disappearing into fragments of light that spelled out ‘FILED.’ “It’s lucky you came when you did. We have a witch on retainer, and we would have called her in for this, but she’s already working from the office today.”
“Right,” Splinter said, smoothing down his shirt with nervous fingers.
He didn’t know what his expression was doing, but it seemed to give the gazelle yokai a sense of urgency. She hustled him down a couple of halls and through more than one doorway that seemed to lead to another building entirely, until he was hopelessly lost somewhere in the depths of the administration.
But the office he finally stepped into was one that wouldn’t have looked place in any of the high rise buildings in FiDi, with an executive desk of solid wood, a neat row of filing cabinets, a less neat wall of overflowing shelves, and sparse, impersonal decor. There were a few oddities—self-watering hanging plants suspended in front of the window, and a glowing crystal levitating above the desk where a computer might have sat otherwise—but nothing that made Splinter’s animal hindbrain balk at the door.
The young woman sitting behind the desk looked up and smiled, round brown face dimpled and kind. Half of her voluminous braided hair was piled on top of her head in a neat bun, while the rest framed her shoulders in interchanging plaits of black and mint green. Her long, pointed ears were pierced a dozen times each and dripping in tiny precious gemstones.
“Hello there, Helena and friend,” she greeted. “Can I help you?”
“Nimue, this is Hamato-san. He recently had a prophetic dream that a child he lost in infancy is, in fact, alive,” Helena replied promptly. “We’ll need a spell for finding.”
It sounded actually insane when put so plainly, but she spoke in a way that reminded Splinter of his former account manager, no-nonsense and judicious. The young lady behind the desk took them both seriously and stood, brushing her braids back over her shoulder.
“I’ll start at once,” Nimue said. “It’ll only take a few minutes.”
“Summon me if you need anything else,” Helena said briskly. “I’ll be finalizing the documentation up front.”
Both yokai and witch were very perfunctory about the whole thing, as if it was business as usual. It went a long way in disarming that last kernel of doubt that Splinter had harbored every step of the way here.
With the doubt uprooted, there was space at last for painful, smothered hope to burst into full and violent bloom.
He was shuffled into the adjoining room and into a squashy loveseat. This area seemed much more like a witch’s workshop; there were tricky, delicate glass instruments whirring away under their own power at a carved wooden table in the corner, and stacks of heavy leather volumes on all the shelves and flat surfaces, interspersed with jars of things like feathers and stones and shiny beetle shells. Dried herbs and flowers dangled in neat bundles from a rack on the ceiling, where motes of something too colorful to be dust floated in wandering circles. There was a small furry animal curled up to sleep on the arm rest of the chair opposite Splinter’s, light brown with a darker brown band across its eyes. When it lifted its head at the sound of the door closing, Splinter realized it was a ferret.
“Please excuse the mess,” Nimue said, “I’m really not here that often so I tend not to prioritize organization. I know it’s a sad excuse.”
“I’m a single father parenting thr—four boys,” Splinter replied, heart skipping a beat at the self-correction. He would be parenting four. “The last thing I am qualified to judge anyone on is tidiness.”
Nimue laughed. “I’ll take it! Now, I told Helena this would only be a moment, and I meant every word. There are lots of disclaimers and policies I could bog you down with, and probably ought to, but I know they’ll just go in one ear and out the other. You’re here to find your son, and that’s what I’m going to help you do.”
“Yes,” Splinter breathed. “Please.”
“Of course! A spell for finding is one of my favorites, not in the least because it’s super simple.”
Nimue sat across from him, lifted the ferret off the arm of her chair and into her lap, and then held out both her hands. Splinter took them without second-guessing it.
“Magic draws so much from nature,” the witch went on. As she spoke, various pieces of glass or crystal in the room began to glow, as if her voice contained a brilliance that could be caught and reflected back. “In our spells, we use plants, stones, animal shed—things given by the earth—and sometimes energy generated by a storm or the sea. A friend that I graduated university with channels power from lightning. Very flashy, but very hard to pin down.”
A pool of light formed between them, beneath their joined hands. It was flat and still, like the surface of calm water. Four little jewels in bright candy colors shone through—red, orange and purple clustered together, and blue clear on the other end. Splinter’s heart ached; he knew them. He knew them.
“At its core, it’s orderly,” Nimue said, her voice calm and smiling. “The most powerful rituals I know of are tied to star charts or phases of the moon, because even celestial bodies follow a pattern. Magic wants to make right. It wants to return things. And so a spell like this costs absolutely nothing. A lost child belongs with their family; that’s as fundamental a thing as gravity.”
She let go of Splinter’s hands and turned her own to catch the pool of light in the cup of her palms. She closed her hands together, as if compressing something as tight as possible between them, and then with a sudden jerking motion, flung them up and open.
The light spread between them in a translucent, shimmering curtain. It looked like a chart, or a map, though not one Splinter had any hope of reading.
Nimue hummed in what could either be surprise or delight, her smile showing teeth.
“Oh, look at how clear and bright they are,” she cooed, “shining like stars. You must be so proud. And here’s little boy blue,” she added, pointing out the lonely light living by itself, isolated from the others. “He’s in Sawara Town, not too far from here.”
Splinter’s heart was a frantic drum inside his chest. He wasn’t sure if he’d taken a single full, deep breath since he woke up from that dream that brought him to this moment in the first place. He twitched with the urge to scoop those colorful, twinkling little lights out of the rest and hold them close, hold them safe.
“So what now?” he managed to choke out. “Are you going to teleport me there or something?”
Nimue laughed again, scritching the ferret’s ruff with the tips of her fingers.
“Teleport? I’m good but I’m not that good! I’ll call you a cab.”
Not even two full hours later, Splinter was walking up the main street of Sawara. It was a bustling rural town with a mighty canal for a heart, filled with wooden fishing boats and framed by thin wisps of willow trees. Machiya-style houses rambled along in tight rows on either side of the waterway, most of them with front doors and shutters slid open to display shop spaces.
Splinter stopped at a dry goods store to ask for directions to the orphanage, and the storeowner pointed him toward the sprawling estate at the edge of town, tucked into the natural bend of the river.
He was floating in that dream feeling again. Everything was two inches left of reality. He was half-prepared to discover that this day felt impossible because it was impossible and he should have known better than to believe it could be this easy. He was half-prepared for someone to yank the curtain back and reveal the wizard was just some guy running a long con the whole time. Splinter had always, always been the punchline of a bad joke.
But he promised the boys he would find their brother. He thought of Purple’s eyes, wide with hope, and his quiet voice saying, “You called us twins.” He thought of that sweet baby he had only briefly been anything like a father to, the first of the four to smile at him, the first one to want to be held by him.
Resolve filled every chamber of his heart until it overflowed from there and filled the rest of him for good measure. That floating, dreaming feeling scattered into painful cognizance.
He was Lou Jitsu. He was Hamato Atsuko’s only son. If life had taught him anything, it was how to take a punch. He would follow this road to wherever it led, and if Blue was not at the end of it, then he would find another road to follow. He would walk forever if he had to. He would let his heart get broken a hundred thousand times.
Splinter let himself through the gate and strode up the meandering path toward the front of the house. He wondered if he ought to announce himself, and then discovered a doorbell half-hidden beneath the leaves of a drooping hanging plant. He rang it, and squared his shoulders, and waited.
After about a minute, the door slid open to reveal a harried-looking pangolin yokai with a squirming raccoon child in her arms. It was a scene immediately familiar to Splinter as a pre-naptime battle of wills.
“Oh, hello,” the pangolin said, offering a smile as she managed not to drop the uncooperative toddler with a deftness that spoke of years of experience. “My name is Tomomi, I’m the matron here. How can I help you?”
“Hello,” Splinter replied, returning her bow automatically. He realized suddenly that he probably should have been practicing what he would say in this moment, because he was coming up blank. “Ah, my name is Hamato Yoshi, and I’m—I’m, uh—I’m here for my kid.”
Nailed it.
“You may need to be slightly more specific than that,” the matron said, bemused.
“Right,” Splinter said. Specifics. He could do specifics. “I had a dream. And then there was a whole thing with a witch and a finding spell. Uh, I have documentation? That the court clerk sent with me?”
Tomomi maneuvered the child into one arm and reached for the papers Splinter offered with her freed hand, all of them stamped with Helena’s imposing seal. As she read, her eyebrows made a shocked jump toward her scaly hairline.
Splinter’s heart fluttered madly. His chest felt like a cage full of restless birds.
“My son was lost to me when he was a baby, and I believed that he was dead. Something happened recently that—that revealed him to me. It showed me that he was still alive. If he’s here, I—I want him. I have always wanted him. He has three brothers who have been missing him, too. He has never,” Splinter faltered, and had to swallow twice before he could go on, “he has never been unwanted, not even for a single day.”
“Oh, my spirits,” Tomomi murmured, crouching to let the little raccoon yokai slide free and then dart victoriously away. She straightened again, a hand pressed flat to her chest as she passed the papers back, perfectly stunned. “If he’s here, and he’s yours, I’ll help you however I can. What can you tell me about him?”
Splinter said, “He’s—he’s a little turtle. Eight years old. His shell is—just, one moment.”
With shaking hands, he crammed the documents into his jacket pocket and withdrew his phone instead. His pictures weren’t sorted into albums, because 99.99% of them were all pictures of his children or April, rendering any attempt to sort them entirely redundant. That did mean he had to swipe for a moment before he found a decent photo of Orange’s carapace, and the warm yellow pattern of his scutes.
“His shell pattern would be very similar to his brother’s, you see? And his eyes were this color,” Splinter went on, swiping to a picture of Purple glaring resolutely away from the camera, golden eyes distinctive even when narrowed and averted behind thick prescription glasses. “He was—he was very sweet. Very talkative. He wanted to be held all hours of the day. He—”
“He’s here, Hamato-san,” Tomomi blurted, eyes huge.
“He’s… oh.” Splinter stared back at her, phone still extended dumbly in his hand. He felt frozen in place. A gust of wind would probably have been enough to knock him clear over. “He’s here?”
The matron seemed to be in disbelief herself, staring at Splinter as though he was a figment of her imagination and if she moved too suddenly he might disappear.
“I can’t believe it. After all this time.” Then she shook her head, and wrapped professionalism back around her shoulders like a trusty cloak. She said, “Please come with me to my office, I’ll have Kameko brought to us there.”
Kameko. Turtle child. Splinter didn’t know how he felt about that name, but kept it to himself. He was minutes—minutes— away now. If he absolutely had to go crashing through every single wall in this building one by one to find his child, that was entirely within his power. He would save that as the nuclear option, but not remove it from the table entirely.
“He really is the sweetest thing,” Tomomi said. “No trouble at all, helpful as can be. Incredibly smart for his age—he’s leagues ahead of his classmates.”
Like his brothers, Splinter thought, with a sort of dazed, wondering pride. All of them were happy little boys with distinct, dynamic personalities, but June—who had been a parent for one whole year longer than Splinter and had the added experience of helping to keep a dozen nieces and nephews alive, and was therefore the expert between the two of them—had often expressed surprise at how quickly the turtles tore through their learning material.
Donatello was an unstoppable force that had yet to encounter an immovable object, but Raphael and Michelangelo were both well ahead of the curve, too. Splinter wondered, sometimes, if that had been part of Draxum’s design for them.
“The younger kids adore him, though the older ones ostracize him a bit,” Tomomi was saying. “He’s had a number of failed placements, I’m afraid. Just bad luck.” She winced, as though the word left a bad taste on her tongue, and hurried to add, “It’s been hard on him since his friend moved away. He really deserves this. You’ll see.”
She was clearly trying to upsell the kid, as if to preemptively change Splinter’s mind about giving him up. As if there was any force in the universe that could even dream of being strong enough to compel him to do that.
The orphanage as they walked through it was noisy. Kids in clothes that were second-hand but clean and well-fitting chased each other down hallways and in and out of rooms at speed. The building itself showed the inevitable wear and tear that came of hordes of children putting their marks on the place, but it was not dirty, or drafty, or in any sort of disrepair. No one looked hurt or underfed. There was a comfortable amount of clutter, plush toys and books and electronics scattered about the den they passed by. In all corners of the house there was shrieking and laughter and the thunder of little running feet.
Yoshi was feeling a hundred thousand things right now, all of them in immediate conflict with each other and jostling for first place, but relief was chief among them. He had, in a shadowy corner in the back of his mind, feared the worst upon hearing his child was living in an orphanage. At a glance, the bulk of those fears were dispelled. It was good to know that he probably would not have to raze this place to the ground for their poor treatment of Blue. He could not imagine that would endear him to Helena.
Tomomi leaned into an open doorway and called out, “Ren, please find Kameko and have him meet me in my office, okay? It’s important that he comes quickly.”
“Okay, Miss Toto!” someone called back, and then a tiny otter yokai went zipping away.
“I don’t know all of his hiding spots, I’m afraid,” the matron murmured, opening another door further down the hall and inviting him inside. “I don’t want to take you on a wild goose chase and waste a second more of your time. You’ve waited long enough already.”
“Thank you,” Splinter said. He sank into the seat she offered him and twisted his fingers, a nervous tic that his eldest son had inherited from him directly. “You said—he’s ostracized by the older kids? Why?”
Tomomi moved around the office, preparing cups of tea with hot water from an electric kettle. She said, “Yokai are very superstitious, as you well know.” Splinter did not know, actually, but nodded to maintain the ruse that he had been a rat yokai his entire life. “Turtles are viewed as—well, lucky. But since every single one of Kameko’s placements failed for some reason or another, some of the children decided he must be an omen for bad luck instead of good. It’s silliness, Hamato-san. But as much as he claimed it never bothered him, I’m sure it must have.”
Splinter had to take a moment to absorb that. Blue was a miracle. The fact that he was alive at all—the Hamato clan in its entirety must have spent every scrap of its allotted good fortune for the next billion year
Bad luck, he thought with a bewildered scoff. Where?
He held the teacup between his hands but forgot what to do with it. He was doing his best to listen to Tomomi but all of his attention craned toward the door instead. Riveted to each pair of footsteps that thundered past, each bright, energetic voice, each unfamiliar spark of qi…
Splinter stopped breathing a second before a knock sounded on the doorframe.
“Miss Toto,” a young voice called. “Renren said you wanted to see me?”
Tomomi glanced at Splinter sidelong and then called back, “Come on in, sweetie. There’s someone here who wants to meet you.”
He was unaware of moving, but somehow Splinter turned in time to watch the door rattle open, and there he was.
In a neat coral pink and cream-colored jinbei, knees dirty from playing outside. Not quite grown into his stripes yet, still huge bright red crescents that took up most of his face. Eyes the same color as Donatello’s, the same shape as Splinter’s. Alive. Healthy. Small for his age. The brightest thing in this little riverside town.
Leonardo. Blue.
A painfully dislocated piece of Splinter’s long-broken heart clicked neatly back into place.
The boy blinked and then smiled widely. He was all at once perfectly charming, happy to be standing there. Tomomi smiled back at him like a knee-jerk reaction and ushered him inside.
“Hi!” Blue said brightly. “Nice to meet you!”
Splinter could only sit there and take him in. His smile. The sound of his voice. He was so alive.
“Kameko, this is Hamato Yoshi-san,” Tomomi said, steering the turtle closer to Splinter’s seat. “He’s come all the way from the human world to find you.”
Blue’s smile faltered for a split-second, giving away his confusion. He had probably been fed a lot of lines from people looking to adopt a lucky turtle into their family over the last eight years, but this one was brand new.
It was hard to explain to his little face that he had been—left behind. That Splinter had spent the entirety of his life mourning him. That looking at him was like looking at a ghost. Splinter did the best he could, grateful that Tomomi stepped in to pick things up wherever he faltered. With her help, he didn’t make an entire mess of the conversation.
“I have brothers?” was the first question Blue asked when they had finished. “I really do?”
“Yes, you—here, you can look,” Splinter said clumsily, offering his phone again. Offering anything.
The turtle looked up into his face, and then over at Tomomi, and only took it after their combined reassurances. He was hesitant with the device even then, as though half-expecting Splinter to change his mind and berate him for handling it at all.
But when the camera roll came up, Blue’s breath hitched, and all his uncertainty blew clean away. He blew up one of the photos and swiped through them that way, full-screen snapshots of a life he had missed out on. He stared intently at each picture as though doing his best to memorize each one in as much time as he was allowed to look.
“What,” he started to ask, and then darted a quick glance up at Splinter again. Splinter nodded, heart in his throat, and Blue dared to continue, “What are they like?”
Carefully, Splinter shifted closer, until he and his son were side by side. Reaching around him, Splinter said, “Raphael is your biggest brother, and a year older than you. He may appear spiky and imposing, but he is actually very sensitive, and fond of stuffed animals and Barbie movies. I call him Red because of his rosy diamond patterns.”
Blue mouthed ‘Raphael,’ drinking him in.
The next few pictures were a blurred mess, Splinter’s attempt at taking photos while managing chaos as his boys helped in the kitchen the morning of April’s tenth birthday. Finally he landed on a clear one of Orange, covered in a dusting of flour, a comically large mixing bowl of funfetti cake batter in his arms that he had insisted he could handle without help.
“This is Michelangelo. He is the youngest, only seven now. He is silly and spirited and will probably take over the world one day. We’ll all be better off with him in charge, I think. He would work all day long to win a single smile from someone he loves. Can you guess what his nickname is?”
Blue traced his little brother’s sunny spots with his eyes, overwhelmed. Still he guessed correctly, a soft-spoken, “Orange.”
“Yes,” Splinter said. “Our crazy Mikan.”
“Then this is—” Blue said, swiping on his own to a picture of the only remaining sibling. “Purple?”
“Mm. Donatello. He is about a minute older than you, if that. He is smarter than any one hundred people put together, and creates spectacular things out of scraps and discards. But he struggles to make himself understood, so often opts out of talking at all. It does not mean he does not have anything to say.”
This final photo rattled Blue completely, because there was an obvious likeness there. Donatello’s striking eyes were a mirror image of Leonardo’s own. There was no argument to be had about it—they were related.
Remembering Purple’s burdened little hope, Splinter can’t help but add, “I once made the comment to him that the two of you could be twins, because you hatched together, and you were inseparable for every moment after. Donatello has latched onto the idea. And because of who he is as a person, I’m pretty sure he will die on that hill.”
Tomomi looked politely confused by the slang, but Blue huffed out an involuntary laugh, which was Splinter’s goal in the first place.
“What’s, um,” Blue asked, “my name? Those ones—they all match. They’re artists. We talked about them in class once. Did I—did I match, too?”
“You did,” Splinter replied at once, trying to sound completely normal about the question. “I named you Leonardo. You were fearless, you wanted to see everything, you wanted to be everyone’s friend. Nothing could slow you down.” He reached out, telegraphing every inch of the move as he made it, and cradled that precious striped face in one careful hand. “My little lion. My Baby Blue.”
Leonardo didn’t cry, though it looked like he would like to. He reached up and seized Splinter’s wrist in both hands instead, clinging with the disproportionate strength Splinter was used to from raising his brothers. The four turtles were meant to be weapons, genetically altered to that end, but Splinter had taken one look at the freshly mutated babies and instantly resolved that he would secure a normal life for them if it was the last thing he ever did.
He felt every inch of that resolve rekindled in this moment. He would do anything. He would topple a hundred laboratories, fight a thousand warrior alchemists, survive a million rounds in the Battle Nexus. If that was what it took to keep his Blue, to bring him home. He would do all of that in a heartbeat.
“Well,” Tomomi said, unselfconscious about the tears she was blotting away, “let’s just get a few things signed away, and Kame—ah, Leonardo can start the first day of his new life! Sweetie, how about you go and get your things packed? You can say goodbye to your friends, too.”
Blue pressed his cheek more firmly into Splinter’s palm, not wanting to go. Not wanting to test the limits of this strange, perfect dream. Splinter understood completely, and would prefer that his second-youngest child never left his sight again.
But he didn’t want Blue to be afraid. He didn’t want to teach him fear.
So Splinter packed away his own anxieties and said, “Why don’t you hold onto my phone for me? It seems I will have my hands full with paperwork. It would be a lot of help.”
“Okay,” the little turtle said, reluctantly drawing away. He kept the phone in a tight grip. “I’m a good helper. And a quick packer! I’ll be right back!”
“Don’t forget to say goodbye!” Tomomi called after him, but she was only talking to an empty doorway, the door itself left open and Leonardo’s running footsteps already halfway down the hall. “I wish I could bottle up some of that energy and keep it for a rainy day,” she said lightheartedly, getting up to close the door herself.
“I know what you mean,” Splinter said, fully sincere.
“We really don’t have a lot for you to sign here, since the Chamber has already processed the lion’s share of the paperwork, and he’s rightfully yours to begin with,” Tomomi explained. “I just need you to hear a few things.”
Splinter nodded, giving her his complete, undivided attention for the first time since he arrived. She didn’t seem to know what to do with it, flustered as she shuffled through a drawer of file folders.
“Ka—Leonardo,” Tomomi corrected herself again ruefully, “has had a rather hard time. I’ll give you a copy of his file, since he’ll pop back in here at any moment, and I hate to discuss it in front of him, but it’s important for you to fully understand. He’s been handed a lot of disappointments in his life. Please be patient. It might take him a long time to really trust you.”
“Then it’s a good thing we have the rest of our lives,” Splinter said firmly. “Blue could be a crazy man-eating alien for all I care—but if he’s going to terrorize humans, he can do it at home.”
The pangolin yokai laughed. “I’ll quote you on that. I also wanted you to be aware that we had a bit of a scare recently. He used to go into town to practice kendo every evening. A few nights ago, some of the other students decided to run around and cause trouble by the hearth,” her curt tone made it clear what she thought about that, “and started a fire that consumed the house. Leonardo was one of two children trapped inside.”
“A fire?” Splinter parroted, halfway out of his seat in a second. He thought of the densely populated town down the way, the rows of houses he had passed that were all made of wood and straw and rice paper. Houses that would go up like tinder with a single misplaced spark.
His baby, in a burning house.
“He was rescued, and only sustained some minor burns and smoke sickness,” Tomomi was quick to reassure. “We had the boys both seen by a healer first thing. I’m letting you know because I would want to know, and Leonardo is unlikely to mention it at all.”
For a moment, Splinter could only imagine the horrifying what-if scenario; what if Leonardo hadn’t been rescued? What if Splinter’s dream had come a day too late? What if they had discovered Leonardo had been alive and that they had already lost him a second time? What if they had never discovered him at all, and he had died as a child that everyone believed nobody wanted?
Yoshi, he could almost hear his mother scolding him, clear as day, what good does it do you to think about that? It did not happen. Life is happening now. You will miss it if you don’t pay attention.
“Yes,” he said belatedly, bobbing his head. “Right. Anything at all you feel is important, please tell me.”
They only had ten or so minutes to talk before Blue came back at top speed. Along the way he had collected that little otter yokai, as well as a fluffy owl in a pink yukata and a lizard whose green scales shimmered into a dull yellow as Splinter watched.
“Koko’s leaving again?” the lizard demanded. “Is Ren gonna get that whole room to himself now? That’s not fair.”
“Shut up,” the owl said to her sharply, then turned to ask, “Is he really leaving, Miss Toto?”
“I’m afraid so, Susumu,” the matron said. “Have you all said your goodbyes, darlings?”
The question caused the otter child to burst into tears instantly. Leonardo was quick to drop his bag, shove Splinter’s phone into the pocket of his shorts, and scoop his little foster sibling’s face up in his hands.
“Renren, don’t cry! How am I supposed to be brave if the bravest person I know is crying, huh?”
“I’m not crying,” the otter sobbed miserably, “I’m just, just so happy for you!”
“Great, I won’t even have to miss you, because Ren’s gonna keep repeating every single stupid thing he’s ever heard you say,” the owl complained, but she put her winged arms around them both and squeezed. “Bye, Koko. I hope these are your people for real this time.”
“Thanks, Suzy,” Blue replied, bonking their heads together lightly. “Take care of yourself or I’ll haunt your dreams!”
“Haunt your dreams,” Ren parroted thickly.
“And if you see Snowy—” Blue added in a quieter voice.
“I’ll tell him everything, don’t worry,” Susumu said, and hefted Ren away with her when she stepped back into the hall.
That left the lizard girl, who looked as though she wanted to shrivel into a tiny bug and disappear through the floorboards with the attention of everyone else focused on her. Shoulders hunched, she whacked Leonardo in the shins with her long tail.
“I think you should start biting people,” she announced.
“Niji,” Tomomi said warningly.
The lizard lifted her chin, scales shifting from yellow to defiant red. “I mean it. If this new dad is mean just bite the hell out of him. Then he’ll send you back here and no one else will want you and we can age out of the system together and go start a gang.”
“Niji!”
“Deal,” Blue said, and they shook on it. It was precious.
Later, when all goodbyes had been made and Blue had been cried on by the pangolin matron and it was finally just the two of them making the journey back into town, Blue looked up at Splinter and said, “I won’t really bite you, Hamato-san. I just wanted to make Niji feel better. She tries to sound mean but she worries a lot.”
“You have my full permission to take a bite out of any grown-up who tries to hurt you in any way,” Splinter said, smiling at him. He was carrying his child’s bag over his shoulder with one hand, the other clutched tight in both of Blue’s. “And you can call me whatever makes you comfortable, but Hamato-san is a little stuffy, don’t you think? If you don’t want to try ‘dad,’ how about Splinter?”
“Splinter?” Leonardo bounced on his feet. “Is that a code-name? Do you have a secret identity?”
The walk was long, but it went by quickly, peppered by question after question once Blue seemed to realize Splinter did not mind answering them.
Where do you live? Have you always lived there? What’s California like? What’s New York City like? Do you know lots of humans? Are they nice? Who’s April? Will my brothers like me?
Splinter answered, and explained, and reassured. Mostly, he listened to Blue’s animated voice that did its best to fill any empty space it found. Blue was not the jaded, angry child that Splinter himself once was, even if he had just as much—if not more—reason to be. But he was not a naïve boy, either. Hope had been all but trained out of him by now, the way it had clearly been trained out of Niji back at the orphanage. It was still there, clinging on with the tips of its fingers, but only just.
And when Splinter tilted his head back and laughed at the clever joke Blue came up with on the spot, he saw that fragile little hope peeking out at him in the form of a crooked smile, shy and earnest and daring.
Afternoon had given way to evening by the time they arrived at the edge of town where the cab was waiting. The driver, a skeleton yokai, was a local, and seemed happy to idle there and let the meter run since it was on the City’s dime.
He glanced up from his sudoku book when Splinter and Blue approached and belted out, “Well, look who it is! Hey, kiddo!”
“Hi Benny!” Blue shouted back. “¿Cómo estás?”
“Estoy bien, niño. And you’re doing just fine, too, huh? Guess I won’t be giving you many rides anymore. Hopefully this one sticks.”
Despite his flippant tone, the last remark was clearly aimed at Splinter. Splinter, for his part, held his son’s hand a little tighter and tried not to let the implications sting. Blue was so used to being shuttled back and forth that he was on first-name basis with the guy doing the shuttling. Blue had a reputation in this town as being an unwanted, oft-returned orphan.
Splinter was simultaneously offended by anyone who would deem his precious child an unworthy addition, and endlessly grateful he had not been snatched up before his family had a chance to claim him.
“This one,” Splinter said, flinty, “will stick.”
The driver muttered something in Spanish that made Blue muffle giggles behind his hand, and Splinter magnanimously decided to ignore that. The two grown-ups affected a playful antagonism for the duration of the hour and a half car ride, bantering back and forth, because anything that made Blue forget himself enough to lean forward against his seatbelt and fill the cab with chatter was worth doing.
Benny did not let them go after dropping them off until Splinter agreed to bring the children to visit Benny’s cousin’s restaurant in Neo Edo sometime soon. Only then did he lower a bony hand out the driver’s side window so that Blue could bounce forward and bump their fists together.
“Nos vemos, chiquito,” the skeleton cabbie said fondly. “Have a good life, got it? We’ll have problems if you don’t.”
He pointed warningly at Splinter, letting him know exactly who the problems would be had with.
“See you, Benny!” Leonardo said. His eyes were wet, but he did not let his bright smile slip an inch. Splinter had worked with professional actors less talented than this nine year old boy. “I’ll be good, promise!”
“You are already good,” Splinter couldn’t help but interject, brushing a hand over the crown of the little turtle’s head. “That’s quite enough of that. Let’s be happy instead.”
——
Raphael’s initial impression of his newest little brother was that he was very brave.
He was tiny, not much bigger than Mikey, with bright yellow stripes on his arms and legs, and two big red ones on his face that curved over his cheeks and eyes. Pops carried him into the lair when he first brought Leonardo home, because the tunnels that wound to and around their house were dark and maze-like. Sometimes Raphie got lost in them if he strayed too far and he’d lived there forever.
Raph remembered thinking how small Leo was, in a huge, confusing place, surrounded by people he had never met before. It would have been overwhelming for anybody, but he didn’t cry at all. He smiled instead, big and silly, like there was nothing in his whole life he needed to be scared of, actually.
As Raph got to know him, he realized that Leo very rarely wasn’t smiling.
He was even smiling a little bit as he poked his head through Raphie’s doorway in the middle of the night.
“Hi,” Leo whispered, even though he could tell Raph was awake.
He was doing that thing he always did, greeting first and then hanging back to make sure he was welcome. He never just walked into a room or jumped into a conversation. Raph probably wouldn’t have noticed Leo did that if he hadn’t heard Aunt Junie and Pops talking about it a few days ago.
Raph wiped his eyes on his blanket quickly and tried to sound like he hadn’t been crying.
“Hi, Leo. C’mere.”
The smaller turtle crossed the room at a run, climbing up into the bed and under the offered comforter. Raph pulled it up over both their heads when he was settled. The dark, warm space beneath the blanket felt the way Raph imagined the inside of his shell would feel if he could hide there. He squeezed Lamby until she glowed from the star on her belly and laid her between them so they had just enough light to see each other by.
It was a familiar ritual for Raph. It was what he always did for Mikey and Donnie when they sought him out after bedtime.
“Are you okay?” Leo asked in his quietest voice.
“I’m okay,” Raph assured him quickly, feeling stupid about the tacky feeling on his cheeks and his puffy eyes. “Don’t worry about Raph.” When Leo’s brow wrinkled, not comprehending why he shouldn’t worry if he felt like it, Raph quickly said, “What about you, buddy? Why are you up?”
He had definitely been asleep when Raph had peeked in on him and Donnie earlier, but that didn’t mean a whole lot. Leo only seemed to sleep for a couple hours at a time. He always dragged his feet at bedtime, as though a good night’s rest was a concept that applied to other turtles, but not to him. If he didn’t share a room with his twin, it would probably be impossible to convince him to go to bed at all. Raph wasn’t looking forward to the contest of wills they’d probably have every single evening once Leo’s bedroom was finished.
‘Miss Toto says I’m a night owl,’ Leo had announced at breakfast during his first week at home when Pops asked him how he slept. ‘I don’t know what kind of turtle that is.’
Mikey giggled, and Donnie said, ‘It’s not a kind of turtle, it’s an idiom.’
Overly-offended, Leo squawked, ‘You can’t just call people idioms!’
The conversation got so silly from there that Pops forgot about asking in the first place. Leo was really good at making people forget they asked questions. But that just made Raph hold onto his questions really tight until he got an answer. Even if it didn’t really matter—he didn’t want Leo thinking he could get away with sneaking around it when it did matter.
His little brother’s eyes were big and dark in the blanket cave. Sure enough, he didn’t try to weasel out of answering.
“Sometimes I lived in places where I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “I got used to it.”
“Why couldn’t you?” Raph asked, frowning.
“In one house it was really noisy,” Leo said easily enough. “The badger family that lived there was crepuscular. That meant they mostly were awake before the sun came out. Just a little bit of noise is enough to wake me up, so I started being crepuscular , too. Only kendo practice and all of my school classes were in the daytime, so it didn’t work out.��
To Raph, that sounded a lot like Leo wasn’t able to sleep at night and didn’t have time to sleep during the day. He can feel anger stirring deep in his heart, because it wasn’t fair. That badger family got to have Raph’s brother when he should have been here, and they didn’t even take care of him. How hard could it have been to give one little turtle a quiet place to rest? Pops found a quiet place for four of them in New York City.
He reached around Leo to lay a hand flat on his carapace. The scutes there were hard and smooth, unlike Donnie’s spiny, leathery shell and Raph’s rough spiky one. It was slightly flatter than Mikey’s domed shape, but otherwise entirely familiar. And it was second-nature to rub in slow up-and-down motions, because that’s just what you did with little turtle shells when the little turtles inside couldn’t sleep.
Leo blinked a couple times, all fast and surprised, as if he’d never had a shell-rub before in his life. Raph hoped that wasn’t true.
“Why are you up?” Leo asked, never one to be waylaid for long.
Fair was fair. Raph felt embarrassed about it, but since Leo had answered his question, he said truthfully, “I had a bad dream.”
He was maybe a little bit prepared for Leo to laugh or make fun or—something. But Leo said, “Sorry, Raphie. Bad dreams are the worst. Do you want to talk about it, or talk about something else?”
It sounded very practiced, like he had either said it a lot or heard it a lot before tonight. But it still loosened a tight little fist deep in Raph’s chest somewhere that was clutching really hard to worry.
Carefully, each word picking its tentative way out, Raphie described the dream he’d had the best he could. It had already faded from memory for the most part. The definite edges were gone and all that was left was the nightmare soup—the dark room and his pounding heart and the loneliness that was big enough to eat him whole if it wanted to.
“I dreamed I didn’t have anybody,” he mumbled out. “I was all alone. It felt like I’d be alone forever.”
“I had one like that before,” Leo said quietly. “I ran all the way to Snowy’s house to make sure he was there. He let me in through his window and we had a sleepover. Why didn’t you have a sleepover with Donnie or Mikey? You wouldn’t even get in trouble for leaving the house like I did since they’re just right down the hall.”
“I’m the biggest,” Raph said, the truth of his life that had always been and always would be. “I’m responsible for you bozos. I look after you three, not the other way around.”
He made sure Leo knew it wasn’t a bad thing, poking him playfully on the end of his beak until he scrunched it up. It wasn’t a bad thing. It was the best thing about being Raph.
“All by yourself?” Leo asked. “Everybody needs help. Even Jupiter Jim has a sidekick.”
Ever since his siblings had shown him those movies, Leo was a big fan. And it was hard to argue his logic, because Red Fox was a character they all loved beyond reason, and Raph would never dream of saying Jupiter Jim didn’t need her.
But it was different.
Raph knew that he could be bossy. He didn’t mean to be. Sometimes it took Donnie crossing his arms and baring his teeth to make Raph realize he’d been nagging. Sometimes he didn’t know until Mikey started shouting that Raph had been talking over him. He really didn’t mean to.
He just hated not knowing what was going to happen. Every accident and surprise—Donnie wandering out of his room for bandaids when his latest build managed to cut past his gloves, Mikey’s experimental stir fry setting off the smoke alarms, Pops juggling too many things at once and dropping something that shattered on the floor—made Raph feel sick. It made him feel unsafe.
“I just want to be careful,” Raph managed to force out. “That’s all. I don’t want anything bad to happen. I don’t want it to be my fault. I don’t want to mess up and let you guys down. I don’t wanna be—”
Alone.
Leo nodded solemnly, his cheek pressed against the pillow. Eyes all big and serious and older than the face they peered out of.
“You’re the best big brother I’ve ever met,” he said, sounding so certain that Raph was a second too slow to doubt him. “You care so much. You care enough for a hundred turtles. I didn’t know anybody could have a heart that big.”
Raph blinked, feeling fresh tears sting his eyes and slide down his face. Donnie would have frozen in distress, like the whole world stopped spinning when one of his siblings was hurting and Donnie stopped spinning right along with it. Mikey would have jumped in for a sticky octopus-style hug, because there was nothing broken that he couldn’t fix by wrapping his arms around it and holding on tight.
Leo didn’t freeze and he didn’t jump in. He landed somewhere in the middle of those extremes, shuffling closer and putting his problem-solving face on. He tugged on a corner of the sheets beneath them until enough of the blanket came up that he could use it to wipe Raph’s face free of tears. He did everything so earnestly, as if each tiny moment meant the world to him.
“But guess what?” he went on. “Everybody cares about you that much, too. I can’t even think of something you could do that would make us not want to see you every single day. If you were ever alone it’d only be ‘cause you got lost, and then we’d just burn the whole city down to find you again. We’d never leave you behind.”
Leo smiled, not the big shining one. This one was different, lopsided and sweet. Raph had only seen this smile of Leo’s a handful of times and it was already so important to him.
“You know that in your heart, I think,” Leo said. “You just get stuck in your head, that’s all.”
“Yeah,” Raph whispered, feeling wobbly and see-through.
“It’s okay, Raphie. I can remind you. Just give half of what you’re worried about to me and we’ll share it. I’m on your team! I’m your sidekick! Nothing’s as scary when you have backup. As long as I’m here you don’t have to be scared of anything.”
Raph’s words got stuck in his throat. He had no idea what he might have said if they hadn’t. Instead he pulled Leo in snug against his plastron, safe beneath his arm. Lamby ended up smushed between them and her glow turned off. Leo wasn’t afraid of the dark, so it was for Raphie’s sake when he worked the stuffed animal free and squeezed the light in her middle back on.
Maybe Raph cared enough for a hundred turtles, but Leo was brave enough for a thousand. He wasn’t afraid of anything.
“Deal. And as long as I’m here,” Raph said, “you can sleep.”
“Raphie, I told you,” Leo complained. “I’m a night-owl-badger-turtle. Can I just play Professor Layton on your DS? I’ll be really quiet.”
But Raph knew all the tricks. He put his hand back on that slim shell and scritched idly along the blue-patterned scutes. Leo’s eyes drooped almost immediately, though his big frown was slower to fade. He was so small and so stubborn and Raphael loved him completely.
“Everything you wanna do tomorrow will still be there when you wake up,” he said, borrowing those words straight from Pops, as well as the fond tone he said them in. His own bad dream was the last thing on his mind. It was easy to smile and add on, “You can sleep. Raph’s not gonna let anyone bother you. I’m on your team, too.”
Leo didn’t reply right away. He leaned back enough to look up at Raph as though he was waiting for him to take it back. When he didn’t, because of course he didn’t, Leo curled his arm tighter around Lamby and tucked his head back under Raph’s chin and didn’t say anything at all.
Raphael imagined what it would have been like to grow up together—having Leo’s certainty and cleverness in his corner when Raph didn’t know what to do, Leo’s courage and silliness when Raph was scared, Leo’s smile that made the darkness shrink no matter how big and impossible it seemed to be at first.
Imagining it made Raph’s heart ache. He thought about the future instead, and how they’d live in it together forever, and keep each other safe and make each other brave.
When Leo finally dozed off, Raph was only a few minutes behind him. He didn’t have any more bad dreams.
——
Sometimes Mikey felt like he had to shout to be heard.
Raph and Donnie were his big brothers, and they were also his best friends and secret-keepers and partners-in-crime, but Mikey was their little brother first. He just wished that wasn’t the only thing he was.
Donnie liked Mikey’s company and never kicked him out of his room, but Mikey wasn’t allowed to touch anything in there, because Donnie didn’t know how to share. Raphie loved to carry Mikey when he got tired or the stormwater runoff in the tunnels was steep, but he didn’t seem to understand that sometimes Mikey didn’t want to be carried. He could walk just fine on his own! He could outrun all of his siblings, actually, without even breaking a sweat.
Michelangelo knew that he was loved—he had never wasted a single second wondering about that—and he loved his family so much that he could fill the sky with it the way the sun filled it with light in the summertime.
But he wasn’t listened to. It would be nice to just be listened to sometimes.
Today Mikey watched avidly as Leo showed off his cool sword. He had been folded into their afternoon martial arts training seamlessly, like he’d always been there. Dad assessed his skill-level and announced that he was not very far behind the rest of them at all, because he had been training in something he called kenjutsu ever since he was little.
“You are little, pipsqueak,” Raphie said playfully.
“Everyone’s a pipsqueak to you!” Leo retorted.
Splinter smiled proudly and said, “My Blue. You’ll be unstoppable one day, you know that?” Leo radiated joy at Dad’s approval and threw himself headlong into learning ninjutsu alongside his kendo, eager to do well. So he split his time, and in the last half Leo broke away from his brothers to the other side of the dojo, where he practiced the sword.
He hadn’t brought much with him when he moved in, but his bokken was his pride and joy. It was made of shiny red wood and the handle was wrapped in bright blue cord and there was a little white rabbit charm dangling from the guard.
“Last year Snowy’s big sister snuck up to the human world for a senior trip with her friends, and she brought us both souvenirs when she came back,” Leo had explained the charm happily. “Like hush money, only bunny-shaped! So way better.”
Dad snorted, and Leo seemed to grow two inches taller at having made him laugh.
Unlike everything else he owned, Leonardo didn’t offer the sword out to be held or touched. It wasn’t quite like the way Donnie guarded the things important to him, because Mikey didn’t think Leo would hiss at anybody for getting too close—Leo probably wouldn’t even get mad. But at seven whole years old, Mikey knew a thing or two about hurt feelings. If Leo wasn’t willing to snap at somebody for taking his stuff, Mikey would just have to do it for him.
An hour into training, Mikey was about to snap for a different reason.
“Mikey, you’re doing it wrong,” Raph said again. “You keep going too fast.”
“I know, ” Mikey said back through his teeth. He’d done it a billion times, he knew that. Raph didn’t need to keep saying it.
“If you know, then do it the right way,” his biggest brother replied, not giving an inch. “I know cartwheels are fun but we’re doing kata now. You can play later.”
Frustration boiled inside him. Mikey knew the right way to do the forms, but he was bored. He wanted to do it faster, he wanted to add a flip or a handstand, something to make it more interesting. He didn’t like training at all sometimes—Donnie was quiet and unenthusiastic, and Raphie was bossy and made them start over until they got it right. It was better when April was there, because April could quell the boringest and bossiest of brothers with a single sharp look and then take Mikey out for froyo, but their sister only joined in on the weekends.
Leo glanced sidelong at Splinter as he slowly began to lean his bokken up against the wall. When Dad didn’t stop him, he put the sword down quicker, then trotted over to fearlessly interject himself into the middle of the brewing storm. Donnie watched him go with round eyes, always one to remain adamantly on the outside of any confrontation.
“That was really cool, Mike,” Leo called out, beaming.
Mikey, who had been clenching his fists and preparing himself for another big brother to gang up on him, blinked.
“Huh? Really?”
“Yeah, really! I can kind of do a handstand, but I can’t flip all around like that.” He thumped his knuckles on Raph’s carapace as he passed by, but his shining smile was all for Mikey. “Can you teach me?”
“Really?” Mikey said again, and then excitement swooped in before he could be confused for longer than a second. Bouncing on his toes, he exclaimed, “Of course, Lee! I can teach you right now!”
“I still have to learn this tricky ninja stuff first,” Leo said. “Can we do it after training instead?”
“Sure! I can help you with the kata, too, I’m really good at it,” Mikey said eagerly, falling into line beside him. He demonstrated the proper form carefully, so that his newest big brother could follow along. “Like that, see? You’ll get it! Try with me this time!”
He didn’t realize he was mimicking the same thing Raphael told him every time he fumbled in the dojo—his mind jumped straight to the first helpful thing he could say and that was it. He also didn’t catch the wink Leo sent at Raph over his head, or the way Raph’s shoulders loosened from where they had been bunched up by his ears, the way they always bunched up before a disagreement.
When Leo first came home, Aunt Junie had said that they all needed to be patient with each other and give Leo time to adjust. Like when Piebald’s tank water needed to be changed and they had to do it a little bit at a time, because even a whole bunch of good, fresh and clean water would be bad for her all at once.
Aunt Junie was right about everything, but maybe she just didn’t know Leo well enough yet. Maybe Leo wasn’t like Piebald at all, and jumping straight into a brand new tank was actually the best thing for him.
Because Leo seemed so happy to be there, always smiling and in a good mood. Teasing Donnie like he knew exactly where to poke to elicit playful snaps instead of vicious ones—talking Raph’s ear off about the Disney movies their big brother watched with him and singing along once he knew the words—forming inside jokes and super-complicated extended handshakes with April within minutes of meeting her—following gamely wherever Mikey tugged him along to like he couldn’t wait to be a part of the fun.
The immediate problem was that Donnie, Raph and April loved Leo just as much as Mikey did, and they all wanted to spend time with him, too. But they didn’t always want to spend that time doing the same things. That afternoon, it became an issue.
“Me and Leo always watch a movie after lunch,” Raphie was saying, brow knit stubbornly.
“Yeah, so let him do something else for a change,” April replied, poking Raph in the shoulder with the corner of her bedazzled phone case. “I told him about Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh and he wanted to read it. I downloaded the audiobook for us to listen to.”
“Can’t you do that later?”
“We’re building something,” Donnie bit out, impatient enough to speak up instead of just slinking away on his own.
For his part, Mikey tugged on Leo’s sleeve. “Leeeee, color with meeee.”
Leo didn’t say anything to any of them. He seemed to be frozen in place by all their noise.
Once, when Mikey was way littler than he was now, Dad found a baby bird that had been swept through a grate into the tunnel during a heavy rain. He let Mikey hold it after Mikey promised he’d be careful. They emailed a video of the bird to a wildlife rescue person they found online who said that it looked about three weeks old, and had probably only just left the nest when it hurt its wing. It was a quivering palm-sized ball of brown feathers and beady eyes. Mikey could feel its frantic heartbeat in his hands. It didn’t look big enough to have left its nest. It was hard to believe anything that small could just be on its own in the world.
Right now Leo reminded Mikey of that bird. His smile had faded to almost nothing, eyes round and worried under their bright red stripes. The longer the arguing went on around him the bigger and more worried his eyes got.
Then Dad said, “ Enough.”
He had his disappointed frown on as he strode in from the kitchen, sleeves still rolled up from washing the dishes in the sink. He didn’t miss a beat in lifting Leo up into his arms.
“What did your Aunt June tell you all?” Dad said sternly. He included April in his pointed look, even though Aunt Junie was mom to her. “If the four of you can learn to share pizza and video games without killing each other, surely you can learn to share your brother’s time.”
They all shuffled, feeling scolded, and April was the one who said, “Sorry, Leon.”
“It’s okay!” Leo said immediately, smiling brightly at her. But he was still clutching Dad’s shirt with both hands and wasn’t squirming to get down even a little bit. It made Mikey feel bad all the way to the bottom of his stomach.
“Why don’t you let Blue decide what he wants to do this afternoon?” Splinter suggested in that tone that made it obvious it wasn’t actually a suggestion.
“Yeah, Leo, you should pick!” Mikey said right away.
Leo hummed, looking much more like his normal self than he did a moment ago, but he still had one fist bunched in Splinter’s sleeve. Very, very carefully, like he was afraid it wasn’t the right thing to say, Leo offered, “Raphie, you said you’d show me how to skate. Can we?”
“Sure, big man, that sounds fun!” Raph said, all fast. He came over and put out his hands, and when Leo reached back, Splinter allowed the snapper to take him. Raph tossed Leo in the air and caught him again, surprising a squeaky noise out of him that became a giggle. The mood in the lair shifted back towards bright, like magic. “You’re gonna be skating circles around me in no time, Fearless.”
“I wanna watch!” Mikey shouted gleefully. And even though Donnie hated sports, he settled next to Mikey to watch, too, close enough that their shoulders bumped. When Mikey swayed playfully to the side, it made Donnie sway, too.
April rolled her eyes, like it was very typical of one of her little brothers to want to waste the afternoon skateboarding, but she insisted upon getting pictures of Leo all kitted out in borrowed helmet and knee- and elbow-pads, in poses that got sillier and sillier by the second.
The afternoon raced by like it had somewhere important to be, punctuated by the rolling and click-clacking of skateboard wheels on the wooden ramp. Leo learned to ollie and shuvit, picking up speed and gaining confidence as he went, but he also learned a lesson the rest of his siblings had learned years and years ago.
He learned to trust Raph’s hands to catch him. He learned not to be scared of falling because Raph would always catch him.
In no time at all, Leo’s laughter was bursting out of him in bright, ringing peals. It was easy to forget, just for a minute, that he hadn’t been right there with them all along.
Mikey felt like there was a sun inside him, he was so happy. He didn’t know what to do with all of it, where he could possibly hold it. So he did what he always did when he felt too much. He popped inside his shell.
From outside, there was an instant clatter and a thud, the fast-rolling sound of a loose skateboard shooting away, and April calling out, “Woah, Leo, are you—”
Then Mikey felt the familiar sensation of being picked up. His shell was compact and the perfect size for other little turtles to hold. Mikey felt warm and snug, and loved to be held, so he just curled up happily like a cat in a box.
Outside, he heard them talking.
“He didn’t mean to!” Leo said, so fast it was all a jumble of words bumping into themselves.
“Who didn’t—Mikey?” Raph said. “‘Course he did, he does that all the time.”
“No, he—he’s good, he doesn’t—” Leo sounded alarmingly like he was going to start crying—something Mikey hadn’t even known it was possible for him to do. “Please don’t let him get in trouble, he’s good. He’ll be good.”
“Of course he is good,” Splinter said, his voice coming closer from where he had been keeping an eye on them from the sofa. He sounded the way he did when Mikey or one of his brothers was sick, worry and love all twisted together. “All of my babies are good. Even when they are dissecting kitchen appliances or flooding the bathroom or sneaking the last donut out of the box that I had been saving, April.”
“I have no idea what you mean,” April said unconvincingly. “What’s a donut?”
“Mmm-hm. That crazy little citrus fruit you are holding is not in trouble, Baby Blue,” Splinter added.
“Why would he be in trouble?” Raph asked, sounding like something was hurting him.
“Sorry! I had different rules before,” Leo replied. The arms holding Mikey’s shell were tight, and he could hear the heart he was being held against racing, quick and frantic thump-thump-thumps. “I’m really sorry!”
“No one needs to be sorry,” Splinter told him gently. “No one has done anything wrong. And for future reference, in case you are confused, you will never be punished for hiding inside your shell. You are a turtle, and it is an important part of you. Would you scold a caterpillar for spinning a cocoon?”
“No,” Leo whispered.
“There you are.”
There was a beat of silence, heavy and thick. Mikey wanted to come out and look around but he thought that if he interrupted the conversation they would start to talk about something else.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Leo finally said. “I was only there for a little bit, the house where they—so it wasn’t that bad.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Donnie said in a loud voice. He said it like ‘judge’ meant ‘monster who bites people until they die,’ even though Mikey was pretty sure it didn’t.
It surprised Mikey at first when Donnie started interjecting loudly at things, because he never used to do that. His jokes were always ones slid in under his breath, and his smile when they made Mikey laugh would be quick and sideways and half-hidden in the collar of his bulky hoodie.
Now he didn’t hide near as much as he used to, and was a lot less secretive about things he wanted his brothers to hear. Mikey thought that maybe he had wanted to be close to them all along, he just didn’t know how to get there. There wasn’t a bridge between where they were at and the island he ended up on. Then his twin came along.
Aunt Junie called Leo an instigator. She said it laughingly, and told him he was just what this family needed. She was, after all, right about everything.
“We’ll discuss it later,” Splinter said. He came closer, and Mikey’s stomach swooped as he was lifted up higher from the floor than he already was—Dad must have picked Leo up again, and Leo was still holding Mikey. “Come here, my little turtles. Ah-ah, you are not getting out of this, O’Neil. In fact, you must hug twice as hard so that your mother is here in spirit.”
Silliness was the best medicine. No gloomy mood could outlast six people cramming together for a big group hug. Raph tripped on the skateboard and almost toppled everyone over and the sudden lurch made Leo giggle. Mikey came out of his shell to join the embrace, managing to get one arm around Leo and the other around Donnie and squeezing for all he was worth.
Mikey and his brothers kept close to each other even after Splinter left to take April home. A pillow fort was constructed in the TV room and they turtle-piled in there with all the best blankets and stuffed animals and snacks. Leo was quieter than usual and sat tucked against Donnie’s side, like he was absorbing his twin’s strength and stubbornness since his own had run out.
“Hey, Leo?” Mikey asked, when the movie Bolt was over and Raph was snoring and Donnie was a tiny ball tucked under the snapper’s sprawled arm. Mikey knew that Leo would still be awake.
Sure enough, Leo said, “Yeah?”
“Why don’t you cry when you’re sad?”
For a little while, the only sound besides Raph’s honking snores was the song playing on TV as the credits rolled. I made a wish upon a star, I turned around, and there you were, the song went.
“People don’t like kids who cry,” Leo finally said. “No one will want me if I don’t behave.”
Mikey blinked, turning his head to find Leo’s face in the dark. His heart was twisting around unhappily in his chest. It hurt.
“Raph cries all the time but we still want him,” Mikey said. “He’s Raph.”
“Yeah, of course,” Leo said quickly.
“And I cry, too,” Mikey added, the hurt moving up into his throat. “People want me.”
“Because you’re the best, Angie,” Leo told him. “You guys are the best.”
“Whoever told you that stuff before lied,” Mikey said, clinging to his hand. “They lied. You’re my Leo, and you belong here, and we want you. Don’t ever leave us no matter what. Okay?”
Leo nodded, short and punchy. He was shivering like he was cold. Mikey scooted over so he could curl into Leo’s side, because he was a lot of things, but he was a little brother first. And sometimes—when that meant that he was always welcome, and arms would always open for him, and he could snuggle in and be held tight no matter what—that was the best first thing to be.
“Promise?” he checked.
Leo turned his face, so he could press his cheek to the top of Mikey’s head, and whispered, “Promise.”
The thing Mikey remembered the most vividly about that injured bird they once found was how restless it had been. How ready to fly it was. All it needed was room to get better and grow a little more. A safe place to land.
‘Look at this guy,’ Dad had said the morning they released it, smiling at the eager noises happening in the shoebox in his hands, ‘ready to leave us in the dust.’
‘Will he come back?’ Raphie asked.
‘I don’t think so, my dear. This isn’t his home.’
It was Leo’s home, though. His place to come back to. They just had to keep showing him that they’d catch him. It wasn’t scary to fall down here, because someone would always catch him.
——
A true photographic memory had never been proven, but Donatello was a scientific marvel in more ways than just the obvious. He remembered everything he had ever seen. The farther back his memories went the less clarity they retained, until they were mostly just emotion given body and movement—but they still were.
When Donnie, Mikey and Raphie found the shrine in Papa’s room, and Papa sat them all down to explain that they used to have another brother, who couldn’t be with them anymore, Donnie suddenly remembered a steady weight on his shell. He remembered not being able to settle for bed unless the weight was there, clicking and purring until they both drifted off to sleep.
Oh, he thought, we’re orphans.
The thought didn’t make sense, because Donnie knew what the definition of orphan was, and their parent hadn’t died. He had never abandoned them. He was, at that moment, gently wiping tears off Raphie’s face and trying to come up with answers for Mikey’s endless questions that didn’t all boil down to life is unfair.
But it was the only word that felt weighty enough for the truth of it all.
Donnie was a brother who had lost a brother. A twin who wasn’t a twin anymore. There wasn’t a word for that. He looked it up.
And then, when Donnie was eight years old, he didn’t need a word for it anymore.
When he had imagined Leonardo growing up, he imagined someone who was just like him in every way. Someone who understood him effortlessly because they were two halves of a whole. Ten minutes after meeting him again, Donatello felt silly about his initial hypothesis.
Of course his twin would be his polar opposite—they filled in each other’s empty spaces. Leonardo, who was friendly and talkative, spoke up when Donnie’s voice failed him; Donatello, who was observant and defiant, had no trouble baring his teeth at every hurt that Leonardo would have let roll off his back.
Leonardo lied with every inch of his body and he did it cheerfully; Donnie would always default to the truth even if a lie would have been kinder. Donnie wanted so badly to be close to his brothers but didn’t always know how to get there, a closed door standing between them that he didn’t have a key to; Leonardo had never met a locked door he couldn’t circumvent and pointed out a neat shortcut here, a handy window there.
Leo took Donnie’s hand and led the way forward; Donnie held on tight and made sure Leo didn’t stumble, since he was always looking up and never down.
They found each other in the middle. Maybe if they’d had that middle place all along, Donnie would be able to communicate better, and Leo wouldn’t need to pretend so much. Maybe that’s still the way things would be one day. Donnie imagined a drawing of them, purple leaking past his lines and blue leaking out of Leo, like Mikey’s watercolors mixing on the page, spreading until they filled every gap, completing the picture.
All four turtles were in the dojo, doing cool-down stretches. Mikey had skipped the post-exercise routine and moved on to rolling around on his carapace instead, singing Fireflies to himself with twice as much energy as Owl City. Raph just rolled his eyes and made sure to step around and over his littlest brother as he cleaned up.
Splinter, who had been checking his phone repeatedly all afternoon, stood up swiftly and said, “You boys stay here and finish up. I think we’ll order in for supper today, so agree on something or I will order the worst soup you can think of. ”
Mikey stopped rolling and sat up with a horrified gasp, because he had opinions about soup.
“Manhattan Clam Chowder!”
Ignoring that, Splinter said, “I will be right back.”
Donnie watched Leo watch him go, and knew that his twin’s mind was racing even though his breezy smile hadn’t budged an inch. Leo worried constantly, maybe even more than Raphie did. He was always buzzing with what-ifs, like his brain was a jar filled with angry bees—what if he did something wrong? What if he made someone mad? What if he was too noisy, took too much at supper, didn’t help enough with chores, what if, what if, what if?
Donnie knew, because sometimes Leo told him. After bedtime, when they had to whisper so Splinter’s keen ears wouldn’t catch them staying up late, sometimes Leo would ask, “Did I mess up today?”
And Donnie would have to jerk his thoughts onto this new track—this crooked, narrow road that Leo was always running on, with its confusing roundabouts and bridges to nowhere and unpayable tolls.
He wanted to say that Leo could mess up a billion times and still never reach the end of Donnie’s love. Like how the unobservable universe was so big that light from the Big Bang still hadn’t reached Earth from over there. It was as big as that.
But Donnie struggled with words even when they weren’t monumentally important ones. And Leo’s face would look so afraid in the dim light of the glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling, those constellations in Leo’s new room that matched the ones in Donnie’s down to the last star. He would be convinced that this was the day he did something bad enough that Papa sent him away. It didn’t matter that that would never happen, because even impossible things could be scary.
So instead of what he wanted to say, Donnie would tell him, “You were good.”
It would always make his brother smile and sink into the pillow, like all that worry was the only thing propping him up. Then they would talk about a hundred other things until they forgot to whisper, and Papa or Raph inevitably found them out and carted a giggling Leo or an unrepentant Donnie off to his own room.
One day, Donnie was determined to make it stick. Even if Leonardo was the worst person in the whole world, he would still be Donatello’s person. That made him the best. It was unquantifiable. No one was a better subject matter expert than Donnie was. He’d stake the scientific reputation he didn’t have yet on it in a heartbeat.
For now, he nudged Leo’s knee with his foot.
“Hey,” Donnie said, “let’s be ninjas.”
Leo’s smile turned into the grin that Donnie preferred, the crooked laughing one. He only cared about good behavior when he thought he was being graded on it. Otherwise he was the first to encourage sneakiness, because if there was one thing Leonardo believed in, it was having all the information available all the time.
Donnie knew that was how Leo kept himself safe in those other places he lived in before he came home, those places he didn’t like to talk about. The ones that taught him not to cry when he was sad and not to hide in his shell when he was scared.
If there was one thing Donatello believed in, it was that Leo should feel safe, even if that meant breaking a rule or two or a hundred.
“Where do you two think you’re going?” Raphie said suspiciously before they’d made it more than two steps. “Pops said to stay here.”
“Or else we’ll get gross soup,” Mikey piped up. “Instead of really good soup, like creamy chicken chili. Or minestrone!”
“Angie, it’s too hot outside for soup,” Leo said patiently, verbally dodge-rolling Raph’s question by humoring Mikey. “If we ordered a bunch of soup the delivery person would cry. You don’t want taco salad in a tortilla bowl? Or an Italian hero with extra pickled cherry peppers?”
Reminded of the whole wide world of food delivery possibilities, Mikey started rattling off all of his favorite meals without pausing for inconsequential things like air. Raph sighed, because it instantly became twenty times harder to agree on supper. Leo beamed up at him, like he didn’t just do that on purpose.
Donnie knew an opening when he saw one and slipped out of the dojo first, following the sound of Splinter’s voice to the front of the lair.
“...haven’t told him you were coming. I did not want to give him a reason to be anxious all day,” Papa was saying, sounding anxious himself. “He’s so prone to worry, it just eats him up. I thought once you arrived, I would go back in and let him know you were here, and we’d—get it rolling fast, get him all swept up, so he didn’t have a chance to be afraid.”
“Dad knows best,” an unfamiliar voice said kindly.
It made Donnie’s spine go straight, all of his attention sharpening to a point at this sudden proof of a stranger in his home talking about his twin. He inched forward on silent feet to peer around the corner.
A big creature stood with Splinter, a few inches taller than him and covered from nose to tail in large overlapping scales. She had a curved spine that created a hunched-forward posture and a long narrow head similar to an anteater’s. With the big tote bag hanging off her arm and the green sundress she was wearing, she looked like an animal librarian straight out of one of Mikey’s chapter books.
She didn’t seem dangerous. But Donatello watched her with narrowed eyes and wished he hadn’t left his bo behind in the dojo.
“As for moving,” Splinter was saying, “I am still uncertain. My boys would be able to—to go to school, and make friends, and play in the sun. That would mean the world to me. But the house in Neo Edo needs a lot of work, and the Hidden Cities are dangerous, too. For a multitude of reasons.”
“And you have family here in New York, as well,” the stranger said, her tone understanding. “It is a lot to consider. You haven’t brought up the possibility to the children yet?”
“I haven’t. Blue’s life has been in upheaval enough as it is. I wanted him to have more of a chance to get settled. Besides, it is not a decision that needs to be made right away. We can discuss it as a family and decide together.”
“Of course, Hamato-san,” the stranger said warmly. “These follow-up assessments are mandatory, and, I’ll admit, an excuse for me to visit with my little ones again. But there isn’t a doubt in my mind that you’re doing right by him.”
Donnie let go of his suspicion just long enough to wonder about the possibility of moving away from New York City. He wouldn’t want to be apart from April and Aunt June for any extra amount of time. But it sounded like he would be able to go to school in that Neo Edo place and he would like that a lot.
“Here I am,” Leo’s voice said in a whisper as he stepped up beside Donnie. He was holding his bokken across his shoulder, probably because he wouldn’t have had a chance to store it properly and come listen in on Papa’s conversation without Raphie catching him again. “What’d I miss?”
But he was already looking around the corner for himself, and that smiling expression he was wearing changed in a heartbeat to something pale and shocked. His arms fell to his sides.
“Miss Toto? Why is she here?”
His voice was too loud. Both adults glanced over at where Donnie and Leo were standing, and Donnie felt caught. But Leo took a couple quick steps closer, dragging his sword behind him like he didn’t care at all that the shiny finish might get scuffed on the concrete.
Papa looked pale himself somehow. “Blue—”
“Am I going back?” Leo said, getting louder. “Are you giving me back? Why? What did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything,” the stranger said, hands clutched tight in front of her chest. Her eyes were wide. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”
“No, you said!” Leo shouted at Splinter. “You said, you said you wouldn’t, you said I could stay, you said I was good! I was good, I was! I did everything I’m supposed to!”
“Baby, I would never send you away, ” Splinter said, arms open to scoop him up, but Leo stumbled backwards out of reach. Leo couldn’t hear him or anybody else, heaving in frantic gulping breaths.
The sword in his hand started to glow, as if a light had turned on inside it and was shining through patterns carved up and down its length, even though the whole thing was solid wood and didn’t have any carvings a light could shine out of. The shine got brighter and bluer until Donnie had to squeeze his eyes closed against the glare.
When he opened them again Leo was gone, but the light was left right where he’d been standing—a perfect circle cut out of thin air, the color of the sky in summertime. It was humming, the way things with an electrical charge hummed, and spinning as playfully as a pinwheel.
“Oh, my spirits,” Miss Toto breathed.
“Did he just,” Splinter croaked out.
Of course, Donnie thought, finally solving that big puzzle in the back of his mind.
Donatello was the first of Leo’s siblings to notice the healed burns on his hands, if the others had noticed them at all. Faint discolorations, smoother than the rest of his textured skin. They didn’t seem to hurt anymore but Donnie worried about them anyway.
He had gone straight to Splinter with his observations, hovering at the other side of the kitchen table waiting to be acknowledged; but Splinter had been too engrossed in the contents of a folder to notice the round eyes level with the tabletop staring unblinkingly at him, like a fox stalking a bird.
‘Papa,’ he said. Splinter jolted in his seat, slopping tea over the rim of his mug.
‘Holy—Purple! You will give me a heart attack one day, and then who will feed you?’ He closed the folder and turned his chair, and Donnie trotted around to his side. ‘What’s up, buttercup?’
‘Leo burned his hands,’ Donnie said.
Splinter’s face did something funny, and he asked quickly, ‘Did he hurt himself just now?’
‘No. They were there already. How?’
‘Ah. How did it happen?’ he clarified. Donnie nodded, and Splinter weighed his words for a moment before he said, ‘A few days before he came to live with us, the house where Blue took his kendo lessons caught on fire. But someone rescued him—plucked him and his friend right out of danger and left them safe in a basket of clean blankets. We are all very lucky.’
Donnie had shivered, and bonked his forehead against Splinter’s arm so his father knew to wrap him up in a tight hug until the shivering stopped. He didn’t want to think about Leo trapped in a fire, so instead he thought about the person who had rescued him.
‘Who?’ he asked when he could manage it.
‘Who saved them? No one seems to know,’ Splinter said. ‘The boys only remembered a blue light.’
Leo saved himself, Donatello realized now. He always saved himself. It was the only thing that made sense. The proof was right in front of them, burning like a star in the living room.
But now the edges of the circle were wobbling, and then compressing, the whole thing beginning to shrink. A door closing, with his twin on the other side.
Donatello didn’t need to think about it. He heard a cut-off gasp from the scaly anteater, and Papa yelled “Purple!” but he was already running. He ducked his head to clear the top arc and hopped over the bottom, disappearing neatly through the blue seconds before it dwindled into nothing.
In just one step, he had gone from the lair under New York to a big open countryside. He’d never seen so much greenery in his life. It was cooler here, and quieter—even with the rush of the river nearby, it was easily half the average decibel level of Manhattan. He could smell fish and sesame oil and salt, a hint of smoke, damp wood—town must have been behind him. Ahead of him, the footpath he was standing on winded away toward the water.
Donnie headed forward. There was a big house up the hill to his left and he could hear other children there. But the door hadn’t taken him to the house. It had led him here, trudging through mud and weeds along the bank, until he rounded the bend and found exactly who he was looking for.
On the opposite shore, Leo was hiding under a rocky outcrop, where the stones of a towering cliffside formed a secret alcove. Sunken boulders in the water created a natural ford where Donnie could cross and he plunged right in.
Leo must have heard him coming, but he stayed curled up small. He was crying so hard his face was red and his eyes were squeezed shut, which made Donnie’s eyes sting, too. He hated when his siblings cried. He hated not knowing how to fix it. One day he’d invent a solution for everything that hurt them.
Until then, he’d crawl into this muddy hole, and scratch his knees and palms on the rocks, and put his arms around his twin. It was the right thing to do because it was what Raphie and Mikey would do. It made Leo cry even harder, and that hurt Donnie’s heart more than anything else in his whole life ever had, but he just held on tight. He’d be one of those stones that the river crashed against. Nothing would move him until he decided to move.
When Leo quieted into hiccups and wet-sounding sniffles, Donnie thought it was safe enough to let go of him with one hand. He used the other to wipe Leo’s puffy face with the balled-up end of his purple sleeve.
“Don’t leave again,” Donnie said. “You promised Mikey.”
“I don’t want to,” Leo choked out. “But they—”
“That anteater wasn’t there to take you away,” Donnie told him matter-of-factly. “Otherwise Papa would have caused a scene. She was just there to visit. It sounds like we have a house around here somewhere, and Papa is thinking about moving. But he hasn’t decided yet. If we did move, you’d come, too.”
Leo pulled back to stare at him, all dirty and wet and miserable. After a moment, he mumbled, “Miss Toto is a pangolin. Anteaters don’t have scales. You’re dumb.”
“You’re dumb,” Donnie replied, heart lifting like a balloon at Leo sounding more like Leo. “Papa will never let anyone take you away. You don’t have to be good all the time.” His twin’s eyes fell down to look at the muddy stones between them. He didn’t say anything, but Donnie could tell he didn’t believe it yet. So Donnie presented the facts: “Raph is bossy and acts like he’s right even when he’s wrong. Mikey never does what he’s supposed to and makes huge messes with his paints and cries when he gets in trouble. And I’m mean. And I bite. But Papa loves us, even when he says we make him want to tear his hair out. And he loves you.”
“How do you know?” Leo asked, like he’d like to be convinced, but he was still clutching at his old truths instead of this new one.
“Because I know everything,” Donnie told him plainly. “I’m smarter than you and the older twin so you have to listen to me.”
Leo made a quiet noise somewhere between crying and laughing. His eyes were gold like Donnie’s. Would that ever stop being amazing? Probably not. Here was Donnie’s other half, the most important part of his heart, back where he belonged. He really was dumb if he thought Donnie was ever going to lose him again.
They walked hand in hand to the house on the hill, which turned out to be the orphanage where Leo used to live. A few of the kids in the yard gave them strange looks, but Leo didn’t stop to say hi to any of them, which told Donnie everything he needed to know.
A boy with amphibian features stepped right in their way. He had big protruding eyes and webbed hands and a round, flat head. His mouth stretched from ear to ear when he opened it to call out, “Back already, Lucky?”
It caused a twitch to pass through Leo’s whole body, not a flinch but not not a flinch, either. He smiled back automatically, and Donnie knew he was about to play along with whatever mean joke was being played on him, because Leo was smart and always knew what the quickest way out of a bad place was.
But Donnie was smart, too. And he didn’t care about getting out as much as he cared about getting results.
He stopped in his tracks and twisted his head around on his neck in the way that always freaked April out. She said it made him look like an alien from a horror movie, so naturally Donnie practiced it in the mirror a bunch of times.
He’d never had the chance to use it on anyone else until now. He was pleased with the way it made everyone in the yard stand really still.
“You know turtles eat frogs, right?” Donnie said. “I heard they taste good with ginger and scallions.”
Heard from his baby brother who had an unhealthy obsession with the Food Network, anyway.
The frog boy shut right up, his throat ballooning defensively—prey instinct to make himself a more difficult meal.
“It was nice to see you guys,” Leo said brightly to the terrorized crowd of his former foster siblings, circling behind Donnie and pushing him bodily into the house. Once the door was closed behind them, he added, “They all think you’re an oni now! It was just a nickname, Tello.”
“Good,” Donnie said, smug. “And it’s not just a nickname if you hate it, Nardo.”
Leo took his hand again and led him down the hall. There was a landline phone in the matron’s office that they could use to call Papa. It seemed like a majority of the kids were out of the house, making the most of the sunny day, because they didn’t run into anyone else.
“It’s ‘cause I’m bad luck,” Leo said suddenly. “Turtles—you know, in the stories—they’re good. Since I kept coming back to the orphanage, the older kids started saying it’s ‘cause my luck got messed up. That’s why they call me that.”
“You’re not bad luck,” Donnie said, wishing he’d taken a good bite out of that frog kid after all. “You’re the luckiest thing that ever happened to me and Mikey and Raph and April and Papa and Aunt June. That’s a lot of luck for one turtle and you saved all of it for us. But if you don’t like that name I won’t let anyone call you that anymore.”
Leo hesitated long enough that Donnie knew he was about to do something very brave, like tell the truth, even though a lie would be safer.
Sure enough, he said, “I don’t like it.”
Donnie nodded. He’d make sure their brothers and sister knew, too.
The door slammed open again behind them. Donnie turned around, ready to pick another fight with another stupid bully and maybe show off his sharp canines this time, but the kid who appeared in the hallway wasn’t one of the ones they’d passed by in the yard.
It was a white rabbit with long ears tied in a topknot. He had a bokken strapped to his back, glossy black where Leo’s was cherry red, handle wrapped in gray cord instead of blue. The rabbit was completely out of breath, bracing himself with a hand against the wall while his shoulders heaved, and he stared straight at Donnie’s brother like Leo would disappear into thin air if he so much as blinked.
“I saw the blue light and ran all the way here,” he huffed. “Give me your hand.”
Donnie bristled at this stranger telling his twin what to do, but Leo’s face was pure sunshine. He shoved his hand out immediately and the rabbit took it, neither of them bothering with so much as a hello. Uncapping a marker with his teeth, the rabbit scrawled something on the inside of Leo’s palm.
“This is my new phone number,” he said, not letting go of Leo’s hand even when he was done writing and the marker was put away. “When you didn’t call at our usual time, Auntie asked if you even knew her number, and I realized you only had the number for our house that burned down. And when I called here, Miss Toto said I’d just missed you. And Suzy said you got adopted for real and went to live in New York and weren’t coming back.”
His eyes were big and wet and his mouth was wobbling, but he stubbornly wasn’t crying. From this close, Donnie could see the charm dangling from the guard of his wooden sword—a little blue turtle.
“Don’t ever disappear again, Stripes,” the rabbit said. “We promised to stick together forever.”
“Forever, Snowy,” Leo told him, in his voice that meant he meant it. “I always come back.”
It wasn’t until Donatello and the rabbit were sitting in the den, watching two tiny sheep yokai kill each other for their turn on an ancient Nintendo 64 while Leo used the corded landline in the office, that introductions were made.
“Who are you?” Donnie demanded bluntly. He’d heard enough about ‘Snowy’ that he could probably write the guy’s biography if he had to, but somehow Leo had never mentioned his best friend’s actual name.
“Usagi Yuichi,” the rabbit replied. He hesitated, sizing Donatello up, then asked, “Are you his family? His actual one?”
“I’m his twin,” Donnie said, feeling prickly and overprotective. He’d only had Leo for thirty-two days and he would defend his spot in Leo’s life with violence if the situation called for it. “He has a big brother and a little brother at home, too. He doesn’t need any more than that.” So there, he thought.
To his credit, Yuichi got the gist of Donnie’s bottom line quickly. Instead of any of the reactions Donnie was waiting for, Yuichi wrinkled his nose.
“Yuck, I don’t want to be his brother. I’m going to marry him someday.”
Donnie considered that carefully, and decided it was acceptable. They shook on it then quickly jumped apart when Leo wandered back into the room. He collapsed on the sofa between them with a gusty sigh.
“I think we’re grounded,” he said. “But everyone was shouting too much for me to be sure. They’re coming to get us now. Splinter said stay in this exact spot and wait for him or he’ll have a conniption. What’s a conniption?”
“It means he’ll cry a lot,” Donnie replied.
“I don’t know how to get to New York,” Yuichi piped up, frowning. “Nee-chan says it’s really big, too. How am I supposed to visit?”
Leo slid his bokken from his belt and laid it across his lap. There wasn’t a single etching or carving on it anywhere, the glossy lacquered finish completely unbroken. If Donnie hadn’t seen those strange glowing runes for himself earlier, he’d have a hard time believing in them now.
“When I really need to go somewhere, a door opens,” Leo said. “It happened when your house burned up, Snow. We were trapped inside but I got us out. I’ve never done it on purpose before but I think I could. Maybe.”
“Not by yourself,” Donnie said immediately. He didn’t want Leo to get the wrong idea that his family would let him go traipsing off through magic windows all alone. “Or Papa really will have a conniption.”
Leo smiled down at his hands, that crooked, happy smile. He didn’t say anything, which Donnie knew meant he still didn’t believe it all the way yet, but he would someday. He was too smart not to.
When Splinter arrived nearly two hours later, Donnie didn’t notice him at first. He and Leo were busy conducting experiments, since they had a magical sword on hand and some time to kill. They had collected a bit of a crowd at that point, Leo’s actual friends clustered around him—including a tiny otter who made it abundantly clear why Leo was a professional Mikey-wrangler within seconds of meeting the kid—as he tried to make his bokken glow again.
“It’s not gonna work,” Niji said with absolute authority. Her scales were teal for now and she kept hitting Leo’s foot with her tail to be annoying on purpose. “Or it would’ve worked already.”
“Google how many tries it took to invent the lightbulb and get back to me,” Donnie replied without looking up, scribbling notes on the back of an algebra worksheet he stole from a bookbag lying on the floor nearby. The lizard girl hissed at him and he hissed right back.
“Your brother’s mean,” the tiny otter dangling over Leo’s shoulders said with obvious delight. “He made Midori cry.”
Midori was, of course, the frog yokai that Donnie had threatened to eat. Word got around quickly it seemed—half the room was keeping a healthy distance from the turtles. Donnie tried not to look smug about it, but he didn’t try very hard.
“He’s nice to me,” Leo said, squinting in concentration. “I think he only makes bullies cry.”
“Doesn’t Midori make fun of you, Renren?” Yuichi asked, poking the otter’s diamond-shaped nose.
“Yup!” Ren wriggled happily, getting in everyone’s way, obnoxious and noisy and loved for it. “That’s why Koko’s brother is mean and cool. Next time Midori tries to call me a name, I’ll show him the picture Suzy took of his face all puffed up like a balloon!”
“I shouldn’t encourage this,” the Suzy in question, a fluffy owl named Susumu, said primly. “But Midori is such a jerk. I made like twenty copies of the photo in case Miss Toto finds out.”
“Then I expect to find twenty copies on my desk before bedtime, young lady,” Miss Toto announced firmly, and a ripple of chaos spread through the room as a dozen kids realized their guardian had come home without warning. Even some of the ones who weren’t actually doing something wrong scattered with the ones who should have been working on chores or homework.
That’s when Donnie realized Splinter was standing in the doorway, looking like he’d just been watching over them for a little while.
He waved and said, “Hi, Papa. I found Leo.”
“Don’t you wave at me,” Splinter snapped. “You are in so much trouble, mister. Jumping face-first into a portal! Who raised you?”
“Is that a trick question? I don’t like those.”
Leo shrugged Ren off his shoulders and stood up fast, shoving both his sword and the otter into Yuichi’s arms. When he faced Splinter, he looked like he wanted to hide inside his shell and live there forever, but he only hunched his shoulders and tucked his chin instead.
“It was my fault,” he managed to say. “I yelled at you and ran away and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I won’t ever do it again. I’ll be—”
But by then, Splinter had crossed the room in a few swift strides, and scooped Leo up into his arms the way he’d wanted to back in the lair, and Leo was too startled to speak.
“You can’t just disappear like that, Blue!” Splinter chided fiercely. “Red and Orange are frantic, June keeps forgetting herself and trying to call the police, April just about stormed the Hidden Cities on her own, and I was ready to sell my soul to the nearest witch for another finding spell! It is a whole mess back home!”
He rubbed his furry cheek on the top of Leo’s head and closed his eyes. It was the closest Donatello had ever seen his father get to tears and it made him feel uneasy. Donnie shoved his notes into Yuichi’s already-full hands and scrambled over to tug at the front of Splinter’s jacket. He was lifted up immediately and Splinter held them both.
“You are my precious treasures, and I had no idea where you were. Do you have any idea how frightened I was?” Splinter said.
Donnie watched Leo’s face wobble and scrunch up miserably as he struggled not to cry again. His twin was the only person he’d ever met as stubborn as him.
“Sorry,” Leo mumbled, “sorry, I’m sorry.”
Papa’s next breath shuddered out of him. He squeezed them extra tight, and kissed each of their foreheads, and then said, “It’s okay. It’s okay now. We are all going to go home, and have a long talk after this, but it is okay .” He looked right at Leo until Leo nodded slowly. Then he added, “But you’re both grounded until you’re at least thirty! You are never leaving my sight again! If you think I’m joking, you have another thing coming!”
It was his silly-scolding voice, and it soothed the last of Donnie’s worries. Leo’s worries weren’t gotten rid of so easily, but somehow he managed to have more hope inside him than fear.
So he was brave enough to lay his head on Splinter’s shoulder and say, “Okay, Papa.”
That surprised Papa so much he nearly fell over. The tiny yokai children in his path squawked in alarm, and Donatello laughed because the suddenness of the almost-fall made his stomach swoop.
A moment later, just a second behind, Leonardo laughed, too.
——
When Leonardo was fourteen years old, he split his time between the yokai world and the human world almost evenly.
Neo Edo was where their ancestral house was and where they went to school. It was where they had nosey neighbors and block parties and parents night at the junior high, where people recognized Leonardo and his brothers at a glance and collectively referred to them as ‘Yoshi’s boys’.
But there was a part of Leonardo’s heart that belonged to New York City. His portals to the lair always opened up easily, even eagerly, giving the truth of the thing away to anyone who knew what to look for.
It was home. The first one Leonardo had ever had that he could believe was his to keep.
“Blue,” Splinter called from the doorway of the living room, pausing on his way through to the kitchen, “what are you doing?”
Leo, more out of boredom than anything else, was poking Raph in the face while he tried valiantly to read the last chapter of his book, and then looking innocently away every time his big brother leveled a glare at him.
“Nothing, daddy,” Leo called back in his sweetest voice.
“Orange, what is Blue doing?” Splinter tried next.
“Invoking the Cain Instinct,” Mikey answered without lifting his eyes from his canvas, three days in on his latest painting and fully in that headspace where time and space didn’t exist and he would only eat if someone physically put a sandwich or something in his free hand. That didn’t stop him from knowing exactly what his brothers were up to at any given point.
“For what purpose?” Splinter asked.
“Dee went to pick up April from work and the twins are like ninety percent of each other’s impulse control,” Mikey said. “Also Lee is just like that as a person.”
“That’s true,” Splinter conceded, and stayed to watch the show.
When Raph finally slammed his book down it was Leo’s cue to gleefully scramble to his feet and run for his life. He shrieked with laughter when he was caught and scooped right off the floor in seconds.
Raph’s act of revenge was aggressively nuzzling the top of Leo’s head with his cheek, rumbling playful turtle sounds at him that wouldn’t have convinced a single living person that he was actually angry.
Leo could have hidden in his shell if he wanted to—and no one would yell at him for it, or threaten to crack it open to get him back out, or do anything more than carry it as carefully as they carried Mikey’s until they found a comfy place to put it down—but he didn’t want to.
Ever since he was a little kid who first crawled under his big brother’s blanket after a nightmare, who first learned to skate while holding onto his big brother’s hands, he knew where he was safe.
“Is that the sound of Nardo making someone’s life more difficult than it needs to be?” Donnie’s voice rolled drolly from the entrance of the lair. “Note my tone of utter disbelief.”
Leo squirmed around in Raph’s arms until he could free one hand and make a grabby motion toward the sound of his twin. Even if he couldn’t see him, he could smell him, and Donnie had definitely come home with Starbucks.
“I’m rolling my eyes,” Donnie said, but he crossed the room and put an iced coffee in Leo’s waiting hand anyway.
“Boys, I got the keys to the roof!” April hollered from the turnstiles. “It’s go-time, baby!”
“What roof?” Splinter asked suspiciously.
“One that I’m definitely allowed to be at and have keys for,” his honorary daughter replied, lifting her chin. Not even the FBI would be able to crack her.
Raph set Leo on his feet, then swiped his cup away and took an annoying slurp before Leo managed to snatch it back.
“You don’t even like coffee!” he complained.
“Big brother tax,” Raph replied unrepentantly, making his way over to begin the perilous undertaking of extracting Mikey from his creative process without losing a finger.
“Try not to end up on the news,” Splinter said, knowing when to pick his battles. “April, you are in charge. Red, you are also in charge. Blue, you are in charge in a third and different way.”
“Can I be in charge of Donnie?” Mikey asked, raising a paint-smeared hand.
“Of course you can, Orange,” their dad said.
“I’m running away,” Donnie announced to the lair as a whole.
The familiar noise washed over Leo like sunshine. He totally understood why regular turtles could bask in that stuff for hours. He sipped his latte and drew a gleaming silver katana from over his shoulder, an ancient bunny charm dangling from its bright blue guard.
Leo smiled up at Splinter as he passed him in the doorway, never missing an opportunity to duck in for a hug. His dad always tucked him under his chin and held him tight, as if he was still that little eight-year-old boy terrified to death of being abandoned.
“Have fun, my Baby Blue,” Splinter said. “And if you don’t come home with a cheesecake for your poor father, don’t bother coming home at all.”
Leo snorted and started to laugh, and by then Mikey had had enough lingering around, whining at the top of his lungs, “Come on, Lee, let’s go already! It’s Cannonball Day!”
“Yeah, Fearless, lead the way,” Raph rumbled fondly.
Donnie stood there watching him with steady gold eyes exactly like his own, and said, “We’re all waiting for you.”
Leo grew up in an orphanage, an unwanted bad omen, and now he had two houses and two hometowns. He was one of four brothers and he loved them with a conviction that he hadn’t known existed outside of storybooks when he was a child. He had a shortcut home from anywhere and a family who would fight god to keep him.
Hamato Leonardo—who was called Koko by his old friends, and Stripes by his best friend, and would always be Blue to his dad—was a very lucky turtle.
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#disaster twins#hamato leonardo#lou jitsu#hamato donatello#hamato michelangelo#hamato raphael#portal duo#a team#ratdad#my writing#tmnt fic#acewithapaintbrush#orphan leo au
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Flowers for Venus
She's here~ 🩵
Note: This story is based on @cupcakeslushie 's Empyrean Weeping au. These characters are not my own, and this story is in no way canon to the main story. I really made a lot of assumptions here, so this must be emphasized.
Tags: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ROTTMNT, Venus de Milo (TMNT), NOT MY CHARACTERS, Empyrean Weeping AU, experimentation, mental issues, perspective shifting, intentionally written to be confusing or leave out information at times, they are all family your honor
Warnings (if there's anything I should add here, tell me please!): childhood trauma, abandonment issues, physical violence, repeated mentions of medical(?) procedures
Words: 6,472 🪦
Summary: Venus had one person in her life, and that was what mattered. Until she didn't.
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“I'm going to fix your body.”
The young turtle gazed up into the glass chamber before him, observing the mangled, underdeveloped, and weak body within. The vitals displayed around it were at acceptable levels; nowhere near as good as needed to survive out of the chamber, but acceptable considering the circumstances.
Not acceptable to the young turtle in front of it.
“You should be out here, learning with me. Being my sister. So I'm going to fix you.”
The turtle within the chamber did not stir- only breathed, as blood was forcefully pumped through its nonfunctional veins.
----------------------
“Huginn and Muninn helped me find more books to help you!”
Three- he had realized that the body in the chamber may not yet know his name, and so he introduced himself not long ago- bounced on the balls of his feet. He had one book clutched close to his chest, with others strewn about the workspace he had made around the chamber.
“Yokai biologists have very interesting methods! I plan on attempting some of them soon- Pops said he is going to get me some more materials before I try. He said that Witch Town will probably have what I need. The fusion of biology and mysticism is incredible! Oh! Oh! And!”
He dropped the book that he was holding on the floor carelessly, tripping over his own feet as he ran over to a table to show the body's closed eyes another. This one was thicker.
“Muninn says that this one was written by a human! ‘Mary Shelley’. It's called ‘Frankenstein’. I believe that's a name too- the surname of the main character. I haven't read it yet, because I haven't had time to. However, maybe with your improved cognitive function as of recently, it could be beneficial for me to read it to you!”
Three got no response, but he could have sworn that a part of the body's brain scan spiked.
“I can't start now. I have to finish my work on the developmental errors in your lower arm, but as soon as I finish that and find what I need to find, I'll start! I'm really curious about human literature.”
Three got to work, as the mind within the chamber grew curious.
----------------------
She didn't quite know what time it was, but she knew what was supposed to happen at this time. The voice was supposed to make noises in the room- Three, that was his name- and he was supposed to talk to her. Her? She thought that sounded right.
Three had told her about pronouns. He had said that since she was biologically female, it was assumed that she would go by she and her. Just like he was male, and went by he and him.
He had said that her name was Five.
Even so, Three liked calling her Vee, justifying it with the reason that they “matched”. Five didn't quite understand where the name came from; perhaps how her name was spelled? F-I-V-E, that was what Three had told her. T-H-R-E-E, that was his. But he spelled Vee as V-E-E. Maybe that's why they matched. Both had two E's in their name.
Their names were numbers too. One, two, three, four, five. She wondered why she was Five, and he was Three. Where were One, Two, and Four? Were they there, but she couldn't hear them? Was Pops another name for One? Pops and One weren't anything alike. She wished she could ask all the questions she had in her mind.
She wished she could see. Maybe that would explain why Three hadn't spoken yet.
Just when she was starting to believe that he may not speak to her this time, Three made noise. She couldn't see, but he stumbled through the door and sat down in a chair near her with a smile on his face. He looked at her, she could feel it.
“I'm sorry I'm home late, Vee. I met a new friend today! But don't tell Pops. He's a human.”
Five knew that word. Weren't those bad?
“Timothy isn't like other humans, though. He's nice! He showed me some insects and told me their names. Surface bugs are very different from normal ones! I think I might ask Huginn and Muninn to retrieve me some books on surface entomology. I can tell them that it's biological research.”
Entomology. That's a big word. What does that mean?
“Entomology means the study of insects, by the way. It's a very interesting branch of science. Timothy said he has books that tell him the names of different insects at his house. Oh, and a house is where humans usually live. Not a lab, like we live in. Or… a glass chamber, like you live in! Though, technically your chamber is within the lab.”
The lab. She wondered what the lab looked like.
“I think that I may be able to replace your eyes soon. I've been developing a prototype, hopefully it shouldn't take me too long to finish! From there, I just have to work really hard to get your other physical errors fixed, and then you can come out here! Maybe I can even bring you to meet Timothy!”
Timothy. That was a nice name. Not as good as Three or Vee, though. They matched. Though, maybe Timothy matched too. She didn't know how to spell Timothy yet.
Maybe they could match anyway.
----------------------
Three stumbled in today. Vee couldn't see it, of course, but Three had tripped, holding in tears. His chest just wouldn't stop hurting. Pops had said he could walk it off, so that is what he tried to do.
He couldn't walk much longer, falling to the floor in front of Vee's chamber. She enjoyed hearing the sound of his breathing, but she never liked it when he breathed this heavily. That meant he was hurt and crying. That meant Pops had done an experiment or a test. That meant Three didn't have the power to work on her body. He would always apologize for that. Of course, that never stopped him. She always heard him working.
“...V-Vee…”
That is her name. He loves to remind her of that.
“M-maybe…” Three gasped deeply, holding the breath for longer than he should before slowly releasing it. “Maybe if… I finish you… he w-won't do this to m-me anymo-ore…”
Vee couldn't feel his eyes on her. Until she could.
“I've shown him y-your guts alr-ready, though… maybe he won't won't w-want to v-vi…vivi…”
That's not how he's supposed to say her name. It's Vee.
“...Vee? Vee~”
That's right.
“Veeveeveevee…”
Is that right?
The mumbling of her name faded away, turning into slow rasping breaths.
She didn't want him to be hurt and crying anymore.
----------------------
“I want to make you as strong as One is. Or, at least, he should be. I haven't met One. Or Two. Or Four. But Pops says that it's impossible for you to be that strong. You're a box turtle, designed for defense. Anyhow, it's more important that I develop your muscle mass enough for you to stand independently first.”
Vee wondered what One, Two, and Four sounded like. Maybe their voices were jumpy and squeaky like Three's was now. Maybe they were sweet, like his was before. She wondered what Pops sounded like.
“Four is a box turtle like you. He developed properly, but don't feel bad! He got stolen away, so really, he got the short end of the stick! You're living the life of luxury.”
So many types of turtle. Did that mean they couldn't match anymore?
“I showed Timothy some sketches of my work with you. He got this really weird look on his face, and I thought he might not believe that I could fix you. But, he promised that he did believe in me! And he said he can't wait to meet you!”
Surely, he was just jealous of Three's hard work.
“I'm still working on your eyes. They're causing me more problems than I thought they would, but I think I'm getting closer to a functional product! It's just taking a while to find a good base that can survive the transfer.”
Eyes. One more sense. He taught her the five: touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing. She had hearing- or at least, she believed she did. She didn't know what else this could be. To have two senses would be marvelous.
Three's voice went away, leaving a rubbing sound. He had told her what that was. It meant he was “rubbing his hands together”. It was a “nervous habit”.
“Pops told me… he told me that talking to you was ‘fueling my delusion’. I know that, logically, you're comatose. Your body isn't supposed to work right now, for the sake of your life.”
That made sense. She was hurt. Three said that if she came out of her coma as she was now, she would die. Dying wasn't a good thing.
“But I really want you to hear me. Even subconsciously. So- so that way, when you do wake up, we'll already be friends! A-and you'll already know so much about me, so I just need to know about you!”
That sounded nice. Vee wanted to tell him about herself. Maybe she'd know just what that meant by the time she got the chance.
“I promise I'm going to fix you soon. It'll be no problem!”
Vee liked that.
----------------------
Three was hurt and crying again. But this time, he didn't come to collapse by her chamber. He was far away, in the workspace. Vee didn't want him to be hurt and crying anymore. Three had said that hurt could mean dying. Three couldn't die yet. Vee still had to tell him everything about herself.
He wasn't even saying her name this time. He was saying the human's. He was hard to hear, so quiet, so far.
Timothy.
I'm sorry, Timothy.
What does that mean?
I'm so, so sorry.
What does that mean, Three?
Please, Tim.
Three?
Please forgive me.
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
Three?
Three, please. She wants to understand. She wants to know you.
I want to know you. Talk to me, please. Tell me everything. Tell me about Mary Shelley. Tell me about entomology. Tell me about One. Tell me about Two. Tell me about Four. Tell me about Pops. Tell me what you're working on. Tell me how you want me to be better already so I can hold your hand and talk back. Let me hold your hand.
Tell me what's wrong.
“---ee? Vee, I'm ---y, I'm here, plea--- calm down. I'm here, please. Do I need- do I need to sedate her? I-”
He's not crying anymore. He's talking to her.
“Vee? Five?”
That's right.
“Should I read to you? W-Would you like that?”
She would.
“P-progress report 13. May 23rd. It happened today. Algernon bit me.”
Flowers for Algernon. Surface literature. Of course he would read surface literature now. He was just thinking of Timothy.
Every time Three would read this specific story to her, he would explain that the first few progress reports were intentionally written with poor spelling and grammar. He would spend the whole time explaining the correct way to write the sentences, up until the writing became legible. Then, when the writing returned to its sorry state, he would resume his corrections.
“I visited the lab to see him as I do occasionally, and when I took him out of his cage, he snapped at my hand.”
Vee knew the end of this story.
“I put him back and watched him for a while. He was unusually disturbed and vicious.”
It never ended nicely. They always had to die.
“May 24th. Burt, who is in charge of the experimental animals, tells me that Algernon is changing.”
She didn't want anyone else to die.
----------------------
Something was different. Where once there was a lack of anything, now there was something. Something Vee didn't have the knowledge to understand just yet. She couldn't understand light. She couldn't understand color. Now, it was right in front of her.
A blur of a color she didn't know the name of, green, with a dash of another, purple. Three's voice came from it.
“Eyelids are open. Should be working. Just one last test-”
Three grabbed a small blur- a silver flashlight- and shined it into her eyes. Her muscles instinctively tried to close her eyelids, but there just wasn't enough power behind it. They stayed open enough for Three to see the pupils constrict.
“Yes. Yes! YES! They work! Yes!”
Three sounded happy. That was good. Maybe he looked happy, too. Vee didn't know what happy looked like yet.
“...I have to show Pops. I have to show Pops! Wait! Stay right there!”
Three left the room, and Vee thought deeply. “They work”. Three had said that her eyes “didn't work yet” before. So that must mean that they work now. That meant that she was seeing. This was what she had been looking forward to ever since Three had attempted to explain the abstract concept of seeing.
This was it.
Those colors. The nameless ones that she didn't know- the ones she didn't even know how to identify as colors- that was Three. That was the face of the voice who had been her only comfort for all of time. That was the face of the person she wanted to comfort. The voice that she heard crying and hurting. The person she wanted to hold the hand of.
The door to the room opened again, and Three returned with a taller figure. Vee had never heard him before, she was sure of that when he got close for her to hear his breathing. Maybe she could have seen him before. He was tall, and covered with new colors. She couldn't name them, but they were gold, blue, and magenta.
“Look! Look! Her eyes are functional now! They constrict and dilate! Watch!”
Three held the light to her eyes once more, and her pupils shrank again.
The new voice only grunted.
“She's so close to completion now! Th-there are only a few more developmental errors, and she just needs a little more muscle mass-”
The tall figure lashed out at Three, as another color, magenta and pink, writhing, latched around Three's throat. He was held off the floor, just a few feet. His happy breathing stopped.
“You have obsessed over this project for too long. Your progress has been agonizingly slow, and this is what you have to show for it?”
A new voice. Deeper. More menacing.
Pops.
Three gasped for air, trying to respond.
“I suppose I must also involve myself. Your inefficiency up to this point will not be forgotten.”
The writhing mass slammed Three into the floor as the tall figure walked away, shutting the door behind himself.
Three heaved shaky breaths from his spot in front of Vee's chamber. He almost sounded like he was crying and hurting.
Was this what crying and hurting looked like? Curling over yourself? Was that what she was doing? She was supposed to be hurting. She didn't think she was crying, though. Could you hurt and not cry?
Could you cry and not hurt?
Three moved onto his knees, placing one hand on the glass. His face looked different, as if the light reflected off of it differently. His eyes looked at her. For the first time, she could feel and see it.
“I'm going to get you out soon. Then… then you can be here with me. And Pops will be proud. And I'll have you, my sister. Forever, and ever, and ever. And no one will take you from me.”
Three smiled, leaning against the glass and falling asleep.
That sounded nice.
-----------🕷️-----------
“What is this?”
Vee stood over Three at his workbench, looking down at the sketch he was working on. It looked familiar, like other ones he had made, but the notes around the margins were different.
“Oh, it's another collar for Big Mama. She has someone joining the Nexus who has some immunity to electricity, so I have to work on an alternative design…”
“How does it work?”
Three looked up at Vee as she smiled softly. She loved doing this. Getting him talking about the things he knew about.
“Okay, well, since the regular electric shock won't result in what we're going for, I have to find another method of keeping the fighter in line. So- so this collar is designed to tap straight into the nerves in the neck- focusing mainly on the more secondary nerves, but also creating a pathway to the spinal column if needed. With this, the nerves can be pinched all at once, effectively paralyzing the wearer!”
Vee looked over the sketch, resting a hand on the desk next to it. “And why is this collar shaped so differently?”
Three brightened again. “Oh, well, for one, to create a visual distinction that makes it easier for Big Mama to know what type of collar it is. But also, because the specific yokai has… no neck? Sort of? They have shoulders, but it would be somewhat easy for them to slip a standard collar off. So, alternative design! And this one can be green.”
“Very good. I'm sure Mother would appreciate the change in aesthetic.”
The stone in her pocket began to glow.
“Speak of the Devil, I suppose.”
Five slipped her mask on quickly, then answered the call. “Hello, Mother.”
“Turtley-boo! Hello! Where are you, my dear? I couldn't find you!”
“I had to deliver this week's recording to Three. I'll be returning home shortly.”
“I would hope so! Everything here is always such a tissy-tassle when you're over at that terrible place. Oh, do come home quickly, please. Your mama is getting lonely.”
Vee looked to Three, and they exchanged a soft look, even behind Vee's emotionless mask. “I'll be there in a moment, Mother.”
----------------------
This was wrong.
This was all wrong.
She was supposed to be worried about being taken from him.
What could she do, now that he was taken from her?
Four was gone. Then Two was gone. Vee thought, surely Three wouldn't be that dumb. Three was smart. He cared about her. He wouldn't leave her.
So where was he now? On the surface, living with rats and humans.
And she was left behind. Stuck under the thumb of a spider that claimed to be her mother. Forced to witness the violent aftermath that had come when Three disappeared, as Lord Draxum berated her and her mother for letting Three get such delusional thoughts in his head. Ideas that made him weak and stupid. Hopes that his family cared for him.
But he left his family, didn't he?
She was supposed to be his sister.
And he left, in search of a family that didn't even know his name. His face. His voice. That voice was supposed to be hers. The one who took care of her. The one that fixed her.
Draxum may have caused her birth, but Three gave her life.
Didn't that matter to him?
She had been so scared of being taken from him, Vee didn't even consider the idea that he may be taken from her.
Fighting against him was something from her worst nightmares.
This couldn't be happening.
This was all wrong.
----------------------
Empty apologies.
He left, all because of a stupid dream he had been chasing. He left the family he had because of some dumb idea of a family that he had romanticized in his head. He left her.
Maybe he never cared about her anyway. She was just a toy to pass the time.
She wasn't real, anyway. Just a monstrous body given life.
----------------------
“Hi, Vee!”
Four approached her, sitting down cross legged on the floor beside her. He examined the blade she had been sharpening with an odd fascination.
“Where'd you get that?” He asked innocently.
“From Mother.”
Four straightened. “O-oh. Guess I shoulda… guessed that, huh?”
“Maybe.” Of course he should have. Who wouldn't recognize one of Big Mama's weapons?
“Hmm…” Four rocked back and forth, holding his feet. “Do you feel alright with me calling you Vee? I know that's what Donnie calls you, but I know he has like… a thing with names.”
“I’m Five,” she said bluntly, looking up at Four for a moment. “But I don't mind being called Vee.”
“Cool!” Four smiled, almost as sweetly as she remembered Three doing. “What's it short for?”
Vee paused and looked back up at Four. “Sorry?”
Four blinked. “...Vee. What's it short for?”
She squinted. “It stands for the roman numeral for Five. It isn't ‘short’ for anything.”
“Oh. Well, that's not right.” Four shook his head disapprovingly. “You need to match with us!”
That made Vee think. “Match?”
“Yeah!” Four shifted to sit on his knees. “See, cause I'm called Mikey. That's short for Michelangelo. He was a human artist in the Renaissance. And Raph is Raph, short for Raphael. And Leo is Leo, short for Leonardo. And Donnie is Donnie, short for Donatello!”
Vee put her blade down on the ground, giving Mikey all of her attention. “So they match because they're all artists?”
“Well, and since they're from the Renaissance, and since we've all got nicknames!” Mikey grinned. “Do you… want a name that matches with ours?”
“Yes.” Vee answered before she could really think about what she was saying. “I-I mean, I don't really need one, but-”
“Sweet!” Mikey patted his hands on the ground. “Now, what names could work… Genevieve? No, that would be Jenny… Vivian? Nah, that's not good enough. Oh!”
“What?”
“Well, I know all of our names are from artists, but, uh, what if your name was from a piece of art?”
Vee thought for a moment. It was certainly true that she wasn't like the other turtles. Obviously, her name would have to reflect that.
Though, maybe being a work of art wouldn't be so bad.
“Sure. But tell me the name before I agree to anything.”
Mikey's expression suddenly shifted to a more serious one. “Of course. How about… Venus de Milo?”
Venus de Milo.
“...what is it?”
“It's a statue from ancient Greece. She sorta got her arms ripped off, but she's still incredibly beautiful and detailed, and a very widely known masterpiece! Wait, lemme see if I've got internet-”
Mikey fumbled with his phone, desperately trying to gather some internet signal in the depths of the Hidden City. Meanwhile, Vee simmered in the thought. A statue, broken, never to be truly as it was before. And yet, it was beautiful, not just because of what it still had, but because it had lost. It had persevered. Because something so beautiful was never truly perfect. That was what allowed it to be beautiful instead.
Maybe that beauty made it perfect, anyway.
“I like it.”
Mikey's eyes flitted up from his hunch over his phone. “Oh? Great!” He corrected his posture. “How ‘bout you try it out? Introduce yourself to me!”
Vee cleared her throat, checking her own posture out of habit. “Hello, Michelangelo. My name is Venus de Milo. You may call me Vee.” She extended her hand for a handshake. Mikey met it vehemently.
“Perfect! Now, you match with all of us! Man, the teamwork and collaboration on this mission is gonna be on point!”
Venus smiled, turning the interaction around in her head.
Maybe she could be a masterpiece.
----------------------
Donnie loved to talk. Vee always knew that. But, for too long, she had never noticed how much he loved to be listened to; to have another directly engaging in the conversation. Once she learned that, she learned that she had a love for listening.
It was sometimes hard for her to understand her own wants without comparing them to the wants of others. She loved to listen because Donnie loved to talk. She loved to spar because that made Raph happy. She loved to ask questions so Leo could explain the nonsensical movies he showed her. She loved to eat because Mikey loved to cook.
But right now, none of that really mattered. Donnie was talking, and Vee loved to listen.
“Splinter told me that I could make him, as long as I make sure he doesn't turn, like, evil or anything. Though, honestly, if a robot uprising were to happen, I think it would be smart to just accept fate.”
Donnie was cleaning up some sort of schematic on a bean bag as a movie played on the TV. Vee sat next to him, not paying attention to the film at all. Screams about hot food went in one ear and out the other.
“So these are the plans you have so far?”
“Exactly!” Donnie brightened, then slumped as he came to a realization. “He's actually based on a design I made before you got out of your chamber. P-... Draxum destroyed that one, though.”
“Oh.” Vee slumped a bit as well. “I wish I could have seen it. Maybe I'd be more helpful now with these designs.”
“Uh, y-you don't have to worry about it!” Donnie waved his arms frantically. “It was my fault you were stuck in there anyway.”
“No it wasn't.” Vee looked at him blankly. “It was Lord Draxum's fault. He made me faulty. You helped me. You fixed my body.”
Donnie flustered, scratching at his neck. “W-well, not really. I didn't even-”
“You gave me my eyes. You gave me purpose.”
He looked at his sister, hands shaking almost invisibly where they gripped his sketching paper. Something strange came to his eyes- a shimmer, one that she knew. “I-I'm-”
“If you say you're sorry one more time, I might just rip your tongue out.”
“But I am! In more words than I can say, I am! You cared about me so much, and I just left you without a second thought. No apology I can give can ever make up for that.”
Vee sighed, shaking her head, looking at Donnie with tired eyes. “You're right.”
Donnie's nervous energy evaporated and he stilled.
“No apology will ever be enough. When you apologized to me, I didn't forgive you. When you apologized to me, I hated you.”
Venus paused, questioning whether or not she should continue. When Donnie gave no reaction, she decided to.
“When you tried to explain what had happened, I hated you. When you asked for my help, invited me in, told me you wanted me back, I hated you.”
Genuine tears started to well up in custom built eyes.
“B-because… because I couldn't believe you. You left me, and that was what was real. That was what mattered.”
Donnie took a breath in, as if to add something, but ultimately decided against it.
“Part of me still doesn't believe you.”
Months of worrying. Months of waiting. Months of simmering in hatred for the one person she had convinced herself she could trust. Months of wondering, “Would he have stayed if I had been better?” Months of unbridled rage towards her creator, who couldn't have waited just a little longer to make her right. Months thinking of her other so called “brothers” who stole her brother away.
He said no one could take her from him. So why would he throw her away?
“But you showed me otherwise.”
She never knew how to put these things into words. There was something difficult about bringing her thoughts out in that way. Because of this, she could never really tell Donnie how it felt when he first showed her that room he had prepared, which he left mostly empty for her to decorate herself. She could never explain how it felt when Splinter traced her stitches, complimenting how wonderfully they framed her features. She could never properly thank Raph for expressing his admiration for her fighting style. She couldn't express the joy she felt when she saw Leo do something that would make him feel embarrassed hours later. She could never say anything more than “It’s great” when eating one of Mikey's meals, one that should make a food critic cry.
“So you don't need to apologize anymore. You showed me how you cared, and that's all that matters now.”
Vee grabbed Donnie's hand, and the two shared a wordless understanding.
You can cry and not hurt.
----------------------
Vee woke up to the sound of someone else moving around the lair. All of her brothers were still covered in blankets around her, and a blank tarp hung on the wall stood in front of her that she vaguely remembered watching a projected video essay on before she fell into slumber. There was only one person missing from the scene…
As she pushed herself to her feet and walked into the hall, Vee came face to face with a still bonnet wearing April.
“Oh, morning, Vee!” April greeted energetically. “What're you doing up already?”
“This is a normal time to wake up, isn't it? You're awake.”
April hummed. “I guess you're right. I'm just used to the guys sleeping in super late. You hungry?”
Vee nodded, following April silently into the kitchen. Just a short time ago, she would have wanted to cut April's head off, purely because of her human existence. Now, she felt a strange, foreign comfort around the human. Not quite like she felt with her brother, or her other brothers, but something akin to it.
April started loading up the toaster, grabbing some spreads and setting them out on the counter.
“Got any plans today, Miss Milo?”
Vee chuckled. “It's Miss de Milo, and, uh, no. You got any plans, Miss Neil?”
April laughed in turn. “Actually, I do. And since you don't have any, I was hoping you might help me out with mine.”
Vee nodded, letting her continue.
“I brought some stuff from my place to do a spa day, slash makeover day. Figured you might want to join in.”
Vee thought for a moment. “I know what a spa day is, but what is a ‘makeover’?”
“Well, it's like,” she hesitated, “it's when you put on a ton of makeup and wear fancy clothes and stuff. Not because you're not pretty, but it's just… it's a way of making yourself feel good, y'know? You've worn makeup before, right?”
“No.” Vee shrank slightly. “Mother said that it would be a lost cause. That's why she gave me the mask instead.”
“Oh.” April shook her head, scrunching her nose. “Oh, no, no. That's not gonna work. You are going to be pampered, Miss de Milo. That is an order.”
April strode out of the kitchen, and Vee followed slowly behind. Before she could see where April had gone, there was the telltale sound of a pillow being thrown into someone's face.
“Owf- wha- hey! What was that for?” Leo grumbled through the grogginess of waking up.
“We've got a busy day ahead, boys! Gotta eat breakfast so we can get to work!”
“Busy day?” Mikey asked, slightly more cognizant than Leo. “What are we doing?”
“Makeovers. All of us!”
Vee finally caught sight of April in the hallway of the living room as she saw Donnie jumping up from where he was laying. “Are we gonna do nails?!” He shouted excitedly, running up in front of April. “Can I pick the colors?”
“Of course you can, bud. Just go eat some toast first,” April responded, patting his shoulder.
Donnie hurried to the kitchen followed by his brothers, who were all still wiping the sleep from their eyes. After that, breakfast went quickly.
Raph drug a stool into the bathroom in front of the mirror, where Vee was instructed to sit. Soon, she was surrounded by her brothers and April, with a large makeup bag in the human's hands. She put the bag down on the counter, taking out a liquid foundation in the perfect hue for Vee's skin.
“Where do you even find this stuff? Party City?” Leo asked, taking out another foundation from the bag that matched his own skin.
“No,” April scoffed, preparing her workspace, “I get it online. Its makeup, not face paint. It just happens to be green. Are you complaining?”
“No, ma'am.” Leo quickly shut himself up.
“Good. Now, let's get some jobs set straight.” April started gesturing to the brothers one by one. “Donnie, you're in charge of picking colors out, and themes. Mike, you're executing Donnie's ideas, because his hands are way too shaky. Raph, my bag's in the other room, go pick something out. You'll know what I mean when you get there. And Leo, you're in charge of music and talking. Tea spilling, gossip, whatever.”
All of the turtles nodded in response, and Raph walked out to find April's bag.
“Now, Vee.” April put her hands on Vee's shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes. “You just sit here, close your eyes, and relax. We've got it all handled.”
“Okay.” Vee hesitated, closing her eyes slowly, before shooting them open again. “Wait!”
April hummed, hovering the makeup sponge she had prepared in the air.
“Can you, uh… can you leave my stitches? Not cover them up, I mean.” She couldn't help casting a glance at Donnie, who gave a timid smile.
April relaxed. “Course, Vee. Now, close your eyes and let us work our magic!”
Vee complied, and she found herself surrounded by sounds. A strange nostalgia filled her chest.
“What we thinking, D?”
“How about, uh… this?”
“Ooo! Perfect! Can I get, uh… that one first?... Thanks! Okay Vee, I'm gonna grab your hand now. It's gonna be cold!”
“What am I supposed to even talk about? I don't have any tea.”
No need for sight. Hearing those voices, comforting her. With a slight drone of music alongside.
“How about your date with Usagi?”
“Wh- April! It wasn't a date!”
“Hey! No shoving! This is a delicate art, Leo!”
“Ugh, fine.” Another shove.
“Hey! No shoving me either! I didn't even say anything!”
“Yeah, but April's busy, Mikey's busy, and you gave me a weird look.”
“I gave you a normal look. You obviously went on a date. Vee, you know?”
Vee laughed just a bit, trying not to move and disturb April's work. “Donnie's right. It was pretty clearly a date.”
“No, it wasn't!”
“Just tell us what you did, Leo.”
Unlike before, she had other senses. But somehow, removing this one made her feel comfortable. Knowing that someone else was taking care of her felt so good.
When she felt Donnie's scar covered, calloused hand grab onto hers, the comfort felt warmer.
“We didn't even-”
“Hey, April? How's this one?”
“I think it's great, but how ‘bout you ask Mister Manicure?”
“Oh. Mike?”
“That's perfect, Raph! You got any accessories?”
“Maybe in my room… lemme go check.”
The sound of heavy footfalls walking away.
“Alright, I'm gonna be working on your eyelids, so it's gonna feel a little weird. Just try to stay loose.”
“Ooo, you are gonna look so good!”
Vee allowed the sound to envelop her entirely.
“Listen, we didn't go on a date, we aren't even a thing anyways.”
“I'm going to fix your body.”
“Usagi would be very hurt it he heard that. You wanna tell him, D?”
“You should be out here, learning with me.”
“I can text him right away-”
“NO!”
“Being my sister.”
“Just admit it, Leo! You're down bad for the bunny!”
“He still hasn't admitted that?”
“No, Raph! Because I'm not ‘down bad’!”
“So I'm going to fix you.”
“Okay, keep the volume down. I gotta concentrate…”
Time passed shapelessly. Vee interacted in the conversation when asked, but otherwise, she let the noise flow over herself. Before she knew it, she was being told to stand up and having fabric pulled onto her arms, with a ribbon being tied over her shell.
“Okay, okay, just a few more touches-”
“You've been doing ‘a few more touches’ for five minutes, Donnie. She looks great!”
“SHH! Don't rush perfection, Nardo.”
Vee blushed. “You really think I look perfect?”
She felt Donnie's eyes on her. “You always have.”
Mikey awed. “Okay, okay, okay, now you can look!”
Vee opened her eyes, just as Donnie moved to the side so she could see herself in the mirror. She saw that the fabric put on her was a dress, very light blue and with flowery embroidery patterning on the bottom of the knee-length skirt. Her claws were painted with pastel colors, with a light blue backdrop behind white daisies, each having an undertone of a different color: reddish-pink, blue, orange, purple, yellow, and green. On her face, a soft blue eyeshadow was put on her eyelids, with small painted daisies incorporated into her eyeliner. Similar flowery bows were placed down the length of her braided mask tails. Donnie quickly shuffled behind her to put a necklace on her neck, with a daisy shaped pendant.
Vee found herself speechless, staring at the stranger that had been pulled out of her own skin.
“Is it alright?” April asked hesitantly.
As she rubbed her lips together, Vee forced herself to look up at the ceiling. She waved her hands at her face.
“Oh- Oh! Its waterproof! You're good!”
“It is?!” Vee squeaked, struggling to hold herself together.
“Yeah, yeah, it is!”
“That's s-so cool!” Vee finally let her tears loose, still waving at her face while nervously laughing.
“You like it? Do you like the flowers? It was Donnie's idea!” Mikey asked, beaming as bright as the sun.
“Yes! Yes, I do, thank you!” Vee paused in her flapping to look over her hands again, and the dress, and her face.
Her flowers.
When she looked to Donnie, he looked as if he couldn't be happier.
“Well that's good, cause they cost me my dignity,” Leo groaned, despite the smirk on his face. “By the way, I call next.”
April patted his shell. “Alright, Leo. We'll make you pretty so you can look good for Usagi.”
“Great, because I- Wait! HEY!”
Vee was laughing loudly now, wiping her tears delicately with a single finger. The argument slowly turned back into background noise, as Leo sat on the stool instead, squabbling far too much for April's liking. Donnie recruited Vee for color picking and inspiration searching.
And so Vee let herself exist there, not worrying about mattering or being wanted. Not worrying about if the one she cared about was hurt or crying. Not longing for another sense to experience the world with. Not questioning if she may be taken away for good. Not asking if she really had a family. Not wondering if she did something wrong, or if she even had the right to call herself alive. Not waiting for someone to talk to her.
She had her flowers, and words could never compare.
○●○●○●○
Finally, she is here. I went a little wild on this. There are just so many parts of Vee's story that I can't wait to see. She's my little brainworm 💖
I'm glad that I can get this out before the @tmntaucompetition ends, especially since EW is in the finale. Go vote for them!!! I love them so dearly :)
I'm going to edit the first chapter of my own iteration, (currently titled Second Shot), and post that soon. I simply must get my boys out into the world, especially after discovering @dluebirb's TMNT AU family reunion. Lord knows they need friends.
GO VOTE IN THE TMNT AU COMP! AAH!
Broken Brothers (and How to Fix Them)
#tmnt#tmnt au#rottmnt#tmnt fanfiction#teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rottmnt#unpause rottmnt#tmnt au propaganda#tmnt separated au#fanfiction#fanfic#twig writes
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A New World: part 5
Bayverse!Leonardo x reader
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
A/N: It has been some time, so I decided it was more than perfectly fine to post another part to this story. Here ya goooo
Leo is 25, reader is 22 - 23.
Warnings: None so far💙
“Okay”, (Y/N) said while playing with the pen in her hand, in a way Leo only had seen Donnie do it. “How did the other ninja turtles manage to travel through dimension?” The next day (Y/N) had decided to sit down and brainstorm ideas on how to get Leo home. At first Leo wanted to tell her that she was stupid for thinking that they even could do anything, but decided that maybe it would be a good idea to listen to the girl, who had mentioned his bonsai tree and childhood fear of heights, without him ever telling her about it.
“I don’t know, you tell me. I don’t even fully know how Krang did it, but surely I know how I did it in another universe”, Leo said, a little tired with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. It suddenly made sense to (Y/N) why Leo was the way that he was in Rise. Speaking of Leonardo from Rise…
“Well, there is this one version of you that jumps through portals as often as he changes his underwear”. That comment made Leo stare at her, wondering if she truly was mentally stable. “Probably the best place to start. Leo, swing one of your katanas and see if you can make a portal”.
Leo stared at her in bewilderment. “What?”
“You heard me”, (Y/N) said.
“You seriously believe that is going to work?”, Leo asked, raising his brow muscles at her, hoping that she would tell him it was a joke. But of course she didn’t.
“Well, you’re still in my house, and apparently not just a figment of my imagination, so yeah, at this point I would believe that pretty much anything is possible”.
Leo sighed, annoyed over the fact that she once again had a point. He stood up and signaled for (Y/N) to stand back. She quickly did as he took out his katana, noticing the way (Y/N) was staring at him, almost starstruck.
“What?”, he asked.
“Oh nothing”, she said, slightly embarrassed. “Just kind of always wanted to see you do that, sorry. Now continue, don’t mind me”.
This girl. If Leo didn’t manage to get home to his own dimension, this girl would be the death of him.
Leo held the katana in front of him with both hands, feeling the eyes (Y/N) on him. He had no idea how to do it, and he had no idea if it would work. But he went for it, and did a quick circle in the air, hoping for a light of sorts. But nothing. Nothing happened. No lights, no portal, no nothing.
“Well, that didn’t work”, (Y/N) said.
“Nooo waayyy”, Leo said dragging out the words. “I thought there was a portal right there in front of me!” (Y/N) said nothing but just raised a brow at him. “Sorry”, Leo quickly said, putting his katana away. “I tend to get a little stingy when I’m stressed, even-”.
“Sarcastic? Yes, I know. Remember, I’ve seen every version of you in action”, she said, pointing to the movies, still out on the sofa table.
“Oh, yeah, right, I forgot…” Leo felt his face get a little hot. “So, how else have they been able to travel through dimensions?” Leo could just not bring himself to call them “me and my brother”. They were NOT him, and therefore NOT his brothers. His brothers was where he left them, back in his own dimension.
“Well, most of them involve Krang or Shredder, but for obvious reasons we can’t do those”. (Y/N) was thinking, almost so hard that Leo could hear the gears turning in her brain. “There was that one time - no that was Shredder… Or maybe! - no, Krang did that… WHat about! - no, that was time travel and that was Renet… There was also the time April’s uncle got stuck in another universe… but that was Donnie that got them out of there”. Leo sunk back down on the sofa, listening to (Y/N) thinking out loud. None of what she said rang any bells, and at one point he stopped listening, until suddenly…
“The battle nexus!”
“The battle what now?”
(Y/N) just kind of slumped at that, before breathing out something along the lines of; “this is going to be harder than I thought”.
(Y/N) sat down on the small space left for her on the sofa, and started to go on google on her Macbook. As Leo tried to look along over her shoulder, she tilted the laptop away from him. She didn’t need him to know how many TMNT related videos she had been looking at.
“Do you mind?”, she said.
“Oh… sorry”, Leo said, leaning away again, yet he couldn’t shake the suspicious feeling he got from (Y/N)’s actions. She was hiding something. She was friendly, even though Leo found her slightly annoying at times, but she had not yet given him reason to suspect her of any bad intentions. That was the first time he thought she might be up to something.
“Here you go”, she finally said, turning her screen back towards him. Leo was shocked to be met by a video of a cartoon version of him and his brother’s following master Splinter down an alleyway. Yet the first thing he noticed, that he just couldn’t stop himself from saying…
“Why are we naked in that?!” Leo almost jumped on the sofa, shocked and embarrassed, by the actions of he did not commit himself, but another version of him in a different dimension. “Where are their pants?!”
“Believe it or not, the fact that you’re wearing pants is not that common for the TMNT universe”, (Y/N) said, slightly surprised by his reaction. “Now shut up and watch”.
Master Splinter drew a sigal on the wall, before mumbeling a bunch of words unknown to Leonardo. With that he disappeared through the wall of the alleyway. These versions of Leonardo and his brothers did the same thing, following their father into the battle nexus.
“You want me to try that?”, Leo asked.
“Yeah, and if that doesn’t work, I don’t know what else would”.
“Sounds very uplifting”.
And with that, Leo and (Y/N) sat out to create the portal to the battle nexus. They moved the sofa out of the way, and removed a few of the frames on the wall, so they had space to draw the sigal. Following what was shown in the video, they drew the sigal, and reluctantly, Leo started chanting, the way the other version of him did. And once again, nothing. Leo covered his face with his hands, sighing irritated. (Y/N) asked him to try again, so he did, and still nothing.
Now it was (Y/N)’s time to sigh irritated. She dropped down on the moved sofa and started rubbing the temples of her head.
“This is going to be harder than I thought”.
Leo wanted to be sarcastic, and say something along the lines of; “oh, you think so? Really? Not like I didn’t tell you so”, but he decided against it. (Y/N) was only trying to help him as much as she could, even if her means was limited. And it was obviously starting to frustrate her. Annoying or not, she only tried to help Leonardo.
“Maybe we should take a break and try again later”, Leo said before standing up, towering high above (Y/N) in her seat. It never ceased to amaze her, how tall he actually was. “Food and meditation helps the brain”.
“See that sounds a lot like something you would say”, (Y/N) laughed before standing up herself. “How does Chinese takeout sound to you?”
Okay, maybe she wasn’t that annoying after all. But Leo still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. And if it wasn’t (Y/N), then what was it?
—
Somewhere at a location unknown to the public, deep underground, a man was hunched over an open hatch in his big machine, connecting wireless. It was quiet in his laboratory, except from the sounds of his tools working against the metals of his machine. In the observatory on the floor above, sat a human boy, casting glances at the man on the floor below, before returning to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic in front of him. The exact same comic his father and his workers had taken their code names from for easy convenience. But the boy’s attention was now being taken from the comic at the sight of his father, and the boss of the man in the lap, showing up in the opening elevator behind the man in the lap. He watched as his father walked to the man, hands behind his back, talking, yet his son in the observatory couldn’t hear him through the thick glass. Though he wished he did. Yet he watched them in silence, their mouths moving.
“I hope my son didn’t cause too much trouble”, the boy’s father said in his calm tone, causing the poor scientist to jump in surprise.
“N- no, n- not at all Sir”, the doctor said, casting a quick glance at the circular machine behind him. “Nothing that can’t be fixed”.
The boy’s father took a step closer to the machine, taking it all in with his eyes hidden behind glasses. He then turned back towards the scientist, still with an unreadable facial expression, that caused people to fear him.
“Tell me, Dr. Lilja, how long until the machine is finished?”
The doctor started to fidget with his white sleeves, his fingers digging at the fabric. It had become a bad habit of his.
“It is hard to tell”, started the doctor, keeping his eyes away from the stern man in front of him, instead looking at the big machine by their side. “There’s no doubt that your son didn’t do anything on purpose, but it has given us a bigger setback than I first thought it did. It doesn’t mean that it can’t be fixed, but at this moment, I do not know when that will be. It could take as little as hours, days, but could also take as long as weeks, months… maybe even years”.
Lilja didn’t have to look at the boy’s father to know his facial expression. Anger. Irritation. Rage. Even though the young boy couldn’t hear the words of the two men in the laboratory, he knew the face of his father, and he knew that that face meant trouble. Big trouble. The same face he got after he accidentally broke the machine Dr. Lilja had been working on for months. And how did he break Dr. Lilja’s machine, you may ask? He played with his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Leonardo action figure on the machine buttons, while his father and Dr. Lijla was talking in the observatory. After that, he was no longer allowed in the laboratory, but only in the observatory, where he could play with his action figures and read his comics… Yeah, not his proudest moment…
The boy’s father grabbed Dr. Lilja by the neck of his shirt and stared him straight into his scared eyes. The boy gasped, putting the comic up in front of his face, only letting his eyes peek over the edge, watching the interaction play out in front of him. Lilja feared those eyes more than anything. He remembered clearly what happened to Dr. Stockman, last time he caused so much anger.
“You fix that machine in the time I told you to!” He didn’t even have to come up with a threat. Lilja knew what the punishment for not listening to him was.
“Yes! Yes! Of course Agent Bishop!”
It was at moments like this, where it once again made sense to Dr. Lilja, why Agent Bishop had chosen that code name.
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