#thanks for the submission i hope u liked it :)
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cinnamorollcrybaby · 9 hours ago
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omg can u do a small drabble where we’re arguing w toji and whenever we ask him a question he just reply’s with “no maam” or “yes maam” i need these so bad.
Yes Mam
Tags: Toji x fem!Reader, drabble, very slight angst, more fluff and crack than anything lol
An: Hiii! Thanks for your submission! I hope you don’t mind, but I added some period comfort throughout lol.
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It had been a bad day.
It was the first and most brutal day of your period, and everything had been going wrong so far.
“Toji Fushiguro!” You shouted as your bottom touched the bitter cold toilet water. With no toilet seat to catch you, you had fallen right inside the bowl.
Your husband had a bad habit of leaving it up in the mornings. He was groggy when waking up, and he would forget to put the seat back down for you. When he was awake, he’d make a conscious effort to put it down so you wouldn’t fall in.
You were usually cautious enough to check before sitting down, but today you were in a rush and in too much of a pained headspace to think about checking. Thus, you had fallen right inside the golden throne with your knees to your chest and your bottom all cold and wet.
“Mam?” Toji replied as he peaked his head into the bathroom. His face contorted into the tightest expression to fight back a laugh. He knew that if he laughed at you right now, your mood would he sour for the rest of the day.
“You left the goddamn toilet seat up!” You whined, trying your best to let out a frustrated growl. Toji found you to be more cute than intimidating.
“I’m sorry, babydoll. Come here. Let me help you.” He said as he walked into the bathroom, extending his arm out to you as a peace offering.
You shook your head, deciding to get yourself up. You didn’t want peace. You needed retribution for his cosmic sin!
Toji watched as you climbed out of the toilet bowl. His lips were still pressed in a thin line. He could not even crack a smile right now.
“Did you even take out the trash like I asked?” You asked with a pointed gaze. Now, it was time to see what other misdeeds Toji had committed.
“Yes mam.” He replied as his gaze softened. He knew you were having a rough time and needed to vent out some frustrations. Too bad for you, Toji had been working around the house since he got out of bed this morning.
“What about the dishes-?”
“Washed and put away, mam.”
“…Okay… what about that leaky faucet? Did you get it fixed?”
“Yes mam.”
“Oh… uh.. What about the light bill?”
“Paid it this morning, mam.”
“Stop calling me that.” You finally snapped with a small pout. You were interrogating him like his mother, and he was responding to you as if you were his mom. It was weird and unsettling. “I’m doll or baby or some weird mixture of both — not mam.” Your lips curled into a pout that had Toji finally giving you his lopsided grin.
“C’mere, dollface.” He grunted as you got back decent and walked over to him, leaning into his embrace. He pressed a firm kiss to your forehead. “I got it, okay? You go relax in bed for the day. I know ya ain’t feeling good.”
You melted under his touch and caring tone. Toji didn’t seem like the type to be so gentle and patient, but it came easy when it was with you. He adored you, and he felt this innate desire to just provide and take care of you.
“I’m sorry.” You murmured weakly into his chest, and Toji rubbed soothing circles into your back.
“I know. It’s okay.” He assured you quietly before taking your hand and leading you back to your shared bedroom. He already had you a little spot prepared with your favorite blanket, a heating pad, pain medicine, and a cup of water.
Once he got you settled in, he handed you your nintendo switch and dimmed the lights. “Text me if ya need me, doll. I’m going out to try to fix that tire pressure sensor in your car.” He informed.
“Okay..” You replied in a shaky tone. Your eyes were full of tears. No one had ever taken care of you like Toji does. He’s truly set an unattainable standard for anyone else to reach.
“Don’t cry.” Toji laughed as he brushed the tears away from your cheeks. Your hormones must be affecting you like crazy to make you go from seething to crying within a minute.
“I love you, Toji.” You said, nuzzling your face into his arm.
“I love you too, mam.” He replied with a small kiss to your cheek and a head pat. You shot him a small glare from that dreadful nickname he has developed.
Toji quickly fled the room before your hormones could shift again.
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noirleo · 1 year ago
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Oooo, can i plz hear all your jealousy HC for the bayverse boys? :3 hope ur week is going well!
oh my god yes
jealous turtles from most to least ◡̈
(all turtles + reader are adults ♡)
1. raph
c’mon, did you expect anyone else?
being a middle child with three brothers, raph grew up sharing everything he had—his food, his clothes, his personal space. so when he finds someone he has feelings for, he makes a point that he’s not going to share with anyone.
his brothers prefer to take more subtle, graceful methods of claiming their s/os when they feel threatened. raphael does not have a subtle bone in his body.
if someone tries to hit on you while he’s there, he will physically put himself in between the two of you, glaring down at his prey target until they take the hint (and probably flexing his crossed arms as he does so. he doesnt do all of that lifting for nothing).
vern tried to chat you up, once, when you first met. raph swiftly handled it, and you’re not exactly sure what was said, but vern now makes a point to keep a very conservative amount of space between you and him at all times.
a lot of his jealousy comes from insecurity—he definitely thinks you could do better, find someone you could actually walk around with, show off to your friends and go on vacations with.
so how does he cope? by proving his indispensability to you. when you date raph, you don’t lift a finger. need something from the top cabinet? he’s got it in his hands before you even have to ask. want to see a sold out concert? how convenient, he just managed to find some floor seats for you and your friends
don’t ask how he got them, it’s really best for everyone if you don’t actually know (both legally and ethically speaking).
asking someone else for help (god forbid you ask vern or one of his brothers, especially leo) will probably end up in some icy silent treatment and very short yes/no answers to questions that can only be cured by insistent apologies and lots of kisses
2. mikey
oh, our beloved little mikey
mikey spouts confidence, but much like raphael, he is deeply afraid that you’ll leave him for someone whose complexion is a little less green
while raph’s jealousy is defensive, mikey’s is pleading. he needs a lot of verbal reassurance that you’re his, nobody else’s
even when he’s not feeling jealous or insecure about the relationship, he just likes to hear you say it—and once you do, he’ll believe it wholeheartedly, all doubts and anxieties set aside (for the time being, at least)
when you’re around others (and even when you’re not) mikey is extremely physically affectionate, and probably will mention to anyone who will listen in a very unsubtle manner that the two of you are dating and really, really happy together, thank you very much
if you’re sitting, you’re sitting on his lap (or so close that you might as well be). if you’re standing, you can bet that he’s got an arm slung around your waist or your shoulder—just so everyone in the room is clear who you came with and who you’re leaving with
3. donnie
donnie’s jealousy is quiet. he’s much less outward about his feelings of jealousy than raph or mikey, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
when you mention a creepy guy from one of your classes getting a little too close for your comfort, he’ll nod and empathize; little do you know, he’s got the guy’s social security number, address, and name of his childhood pet pulled up on his laptop within seconds.
mysteriously, he doesn’t really show up for class anymore. rumours float around about some pretty shady things hes done being sent to the dean, president, and every RA on campus.
you confront donnie, and he just shrugs innocently. huh, weird, guess it’s a good thing you guys don’t hang out anymore then right? and then he’ll change the subject, but the triumphant gleam in his eye doesn’t go unnoticed
if someone starts to get flirtatious with you while donnie’s around though? all bets are off.
standing at 6’8 and made of pure lean muscle, donnie is fully aware of how intimidating he is, and it radiates off of him.
all it takes is one glare, leering from over your shoulder, and suddenly the person trying to flirt with you has some very important business to handle on the opposite side of the room for the rest of the night.
when you turn around to see donnie standing behind you, one hand on the small of your back, he’s back to his relaxed, smiley self
4. leo
leo is definitely the least jealous of his brothers. he’s confident, bordering on arrogant, and knows what he brings to the table.
i mean, c’mon. the barista who wrote their number on your coffee cup may be cute and share your taste in music, but how many times have they saved new york from an alien invasion? can they do anything to protect you in the event of a foot clan takeover?
didn’t think so.
communicating and trust are monumental to leonardo. right off the bat, he’s very straightforward about his intentions with you, and expects the same level of loyalty from his partner
leo’s trust isn’t easily earned so if he trusts you, then he does so completely and wholeheartedly. if you say that you and someone else are just friends, then he won’t think twice about it
that’s not to say he never gets jealous though. he’s just much more lowkey about it than the others
if you mention offhand being catcalled on your way to the lair one night, you’ll have a private escort for the foreseeable future
hes not big on pda, but you can bet that if he catches someone else’s scent on you, especially another guy, he’ll be extra cuddly when he sees you
he’ll for sure try to play it off though and subtly give you something that smells like him. oh, you seem cold, here’s one of his hoodies that he conveniently had on hand. go ahead and put it on. he’s just looking out for you, no ulterior motives here.
you see right through him, but you’re willing to look the other way for some extra snuggles.
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smoosnoom · 2 years ago
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hi moon ! i've never sent a photo through an ask but i thought i would bc i haven't sent an ask in a while and i thought u'd wanna see one of the kitties that live round my house !
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i was trying to see if she wanted to play w the flower hehe she just kept rubbing against it ^_^ but yeah i hope u have a good day/night and i hope the snoopy shirt u got for donating is cute n comfy:]
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snowthornes · 1 year ago
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|| TAG GAME ✦
Thank you @yuuugay for the tag!!! I swear I meant to do this, but. Well. I forgor <//3 first semester of uni is kicking my ass, as you can see. Anyway, here's my answers, please don't dock my grades due to the late submission :DD
I shall tag @corvusasteris , @aylaaescar , and @styrofoamgardentragedy ! Do tell me if you'd prefer not to be tagged!! 🦖🦖🦖
Favorite color: Purple and blue! Though to be more specific, I really like these types of forget-me-not purple and cornflower blue. Yes, those names are kind of made up. 😔 I've been trying to design my OC's formal attire, and trying to write actual descriptions of their colors, shapes, and accessories (i.e. everything) is kicking my ass.
Currently Reading: If we're counting IFs, I'm currently (re)reading Duskguard by @rainstormwrite ! If you've been wanting to pick up a new IF lately, do give this a try! It's really really good! The amount of variations and flavor text hidden within the story is insanity 🫵🏽🫵🏽✨
But, if I had to give a book or novel... I'm rereading the Dork Diaries series! Younger me collected every single book from that series religiously — figured I'd reread it now for sentimentality's sake. 🦖 Nikki Maxwell's a lot more dramatic than I remember, but it's been fun!
Last series: I've been bouncing back and forth between rewatching The Babysitter's Club and finishing Heartstopper because I have the attention span of a squirrel locked in a pirate's vault. I really, really like these series, though! I'm just sad (and a bit upset) that Netflix cancelled TBC — I genuinely loved that series. I still reread my TBC books from time to time 😞
Sweet, savory, or spicy? If I have to pick one, savory!! But I really like a mix of savory and spicy — I'm a big fan. Very big fan.
Currently working on: The Shepherds of Haven MC template!! Doing it has been oodles of fun, though trying to figure out what my OC actually looks like has shaved years off my lifespan — I'm not a very visual person. TT_TT But I'm using my practically-first and oldest OC as my main shoh MC, so I'm really excited to introduce him in some form of writing!
I've also been working on learning Twine and have been tossing around multiple IF ideas like a cat with a particularly bouncy ball of yarn, but. Those are still a long ways away. I have been working on their plots and expanding them, even writing a few snippets, but — I still have to pick a story I want to focus on. Plus, if I ever do become mad enough to actually release an IF, I'd probably only do it once I had at least 4 or 5 chapters safely completed! I think that feeling — knowing that someone is waiting for me to finish something — would make me go hasdhghdhghhgd. I don't know how IF authors do it. Or artists. Or any creator out there who releases their work for the public to consume, actually. You have my utter respect and admiration 🫡
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your-fave-is-pupy · 2 years ago
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Patra from Pacman Party is a jackal pupy
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yeleltaan · 2 years ago
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I could not forget him.
I could not.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-
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reineyday · 1 year ago
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hi you probably do not remember me but i posted a kryk fic in like, 2021 that i have since deleted bc i hated it LOL but i was making a spreadsheet of all my ao3 bookmarks and reread shot through the heart and holy shit dude kuroyaku disease is terminal and i will never be free and i will probably end up digging something up for them to finish this summer because they are so summer and anyway this is a really long unhinged message BUT. i may write kpop and merlin fanfic now but i remember my roots (kuroyaku, and subsequently your fic). sorry i'm very excited about this it's like the internet equivalent of seeing your favorite barista in a coffee shop in a new city anyway i hope you're having a really great time
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coalburiedinwarmashes · 9 months ago
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First week working in the best place ever completed🤩
#so grateful for the 30 euro I found in my wallet and the half day Friday#yapping#clonturk art coming up to the submission of the leaving cert booklets what was I thinking get me out of there but also it’s so exciting woah#I feel exhausted and hateful… and yet. full of love and joy#grateful for coira and emma dn and nicole and rían who is the only one I believe doesn’t hate me#guys it’s kind of the best thing ever when u sugest something and the child’s eyes like genuinely light up and they’re like that’s#cool idea thank you and then like ugh they’re so much more willing to listen to you then woah I hope every child in the world lives a life#full of love and has some adult who cares to listen woah ugh especial love the queer kids who think it’s cool I have blue hair#but 6 hours straight standing and walking no sitting down ever is the worst#and hearing that the 6th years were talking shit also not fun but also so get it like of art worst ever I’d also hate if someone came in#trying to talk to me even if they were trying to help I’d have killed them so maybe I should be grateful#they’re all so cool tho shou out Bea and Sean especially#shout out Nathan the faggiest person I may ever have the pleasure of meeting#shout out my brothers friends who r chill and one of them up is doing a cool snake turtle sculpture sick#shout out Alice woah I should put full name damn but shout out everyone every I love them all#so freaking tired everyday and I come home and I can pt rest at all because constantly trying to get this house together like painting#cleaning radiators moving shit furniture is so heavy when ur core strength is gone from just standing all day#I miss my room and my kitchen boooooo change booooooooooo#my therapist is being very nice to me tho
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ohdeerfully · 11 months ago
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alastor request HAI can it be based on the fact that alastor doesn't sleep, and it's his lover finding out that petting his ears during cuddling makes him fall asleep.
thank you for your service
yess i love sleepy alastor thank u so much anon :D!!
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Goodmorning, Love
Alastor x Reader (fluff) TW: none! join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══
You were well aware of the Radio Demon’s sleep habits. Or, well, lack of sleep habits. You often spent nights in his room, where he would sit with you in bed until you fell asleep and go do whatever the hell he gets up to late at night. You always woke up in an empty room, and often so in the middle of the night, struggling to rest again as a greedy tightness gripped your chest in worry and disappointment.
You understood, though, and tried your best not to let it get to you that you didn’t have his warm body next to you when you woke every morning. But you couldn’t help that twinge of sadness. You weren’t particularly needy or clingy, but would it kill him to stay in bed with you for a single night? And to have a slice of domestic bliss as you woke up?
Obviously. 
You roll your eyes as you lay, staring up at the ceiling. You had just gotten ready for bed, and now waited for said demon to join you for a few hours. Your fingers tapped, impatient, against your chest as you hummed absentmindedly.
“How lovely,” You heard him speak. Tickles of that radio static that always followed him clung to your exposed skin, which was signal enough that he had entered the room had he not announced himself. “What a siren you are, luring me here with that hum of yours.”
You smiled slightly at his comment, scooching over slightly to encourage him over. He obliged, joining you under the covers. He still wore his usual outfit, which made sense considering his tendency to go away all night. You purse your lips at the thought, slightly chewing on the skin.
“Why the face?” Of course he noticed your expression. He always noticed when any emotion tickled your face. You appreciated the genuine tone in his voice, the typical buzz of radio barely detectable in his words. He always got a little softer and kinder when he was alone with you like this.
You appreciated nights with him, being able to see a side of him that nobody else would live to spread word of. You enjoyed feeling a little special, especially to somebody like him.
“Do you think you could stay in,” You asked cautiously, fiddling with your hands as you inched closer to him, pressing your body against his. Even laying, he still seemed much taller than you. You gingerly guided his head down, against your chest as you spoke, hoping the multitasking would keep him from sitting up and rejecting your intimate gestures. “Just for a night. I miss you all night long.”
He allowed his head to lay against you. He did feel tense, of course, letting the back of his head be exposed in this manner as he lay vulnerable on you. It was a strange feeling, but not one he cared to consider for too long. 
“(Y/N),” He began with a sigh. “It’s impossible for me to get much done during the day, what with all the running around Charlie does. Somebody has to keep an eye on that young princess. I prefer to stay awake to get my own errands done at night.” 
I know that, you wanted to say and interrupt his explanatory ramble. You wanted to beg him to understand, just this once. You held in a sigh, watching as his head gently rose and fell with every breath you took. Maybe you should just take this submission from him as good enough.
You gingerly began tangling your fingers through his red hair, brushing out any kinks he may have gotten throughout the day. His tense body seemed to ease slightly, becoming more and more relaxed as you weaved your fingers through the locks.
“You have really soft hair, Al,” You commented, changing the subject. You figured there was no use convincing him. You let your fingers lightly trail upwards, up to his ears. You grazed them slightly with a finger. You touched again. When he made no motion of dislike, you fully began rubbing them. Petting him. You smiled to yourself at the idea of petting the feared Radio Demon. “And your ears are even softer.”
“I try to take care of myself,” He responded proudly. There was another hint of something in his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what it was. But it seemed heavy. “A well groomed man is a successful one.” You absentmindedly agreed as you stroked the velvety fur of his ears, switching back and forth between them and his hair. You had a preference for the ears, though.
You sighed and began humming quietly again. He rarely got so… comfortable, even around you. He always had some sort of guard up, always had his shoulders squared. He almost never became so… loose and vulnerable.
You noticed the clippings of radio frequency had stopped, which was a noise that was ever present in his wake. You had a suspicion why it disappeared, a small grin forming on your face.
Yes, the Radio Demon never slept. But that was a choice he made, not a curse that prevented him. Even demons get tired. You don’t know how Alastor makes it day by day without a wink of rest, but it was apparent that exhaustion had built up in him. He just needed to relax for a second.
You graced your fingers over his fringe, and craned your neck in a way to get a glance at his face. Yeah, you were right. 
He laid there, eyes shut, features relaxed with the lightest grin playing on his face. Even in sleep, you complained. It didn’t really matter. What mattered was the sound of his deep, slow breathing and occasional twitch of his velvety ears. You briefly wondered what the Radio Demon would dream about.
Would he be aggravated with you when he woke up, realizing you had practically cast a sleep spell on him? You didn’t, but the rate of which exhaustion took over may as well have been some sort of magic.
You shut your own heavy eyes, exhaling lightly as you continued to comfort yourself with the texture of his fur and hair. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.
You craned your arms and neck as consciousness came back to you, but an unfamiliar weight kept you from getting that good stretch in. Momentarily confused, you blinked open and looked down.
Red and black hair, more of a mess than usual, still took place on your torso. This was a first, and your chest felt like exploding with the glee of seeing Alastor still resting with you. He somehow looked even more relaxed than the night before, his cheek flush against your stomach, squishing his lips up slightly. A light grin was still there.
You gently brushed your fingers over his face, trailing a line around his features with an index finger. His eyes squeezed for a moment, and that static ambience of his slowly, quietly, returned. It was a noise that you had learned to find comfort in. He slowly opened his red eyes, a confused and sleepy daze clouding them. There was a wrinkle in his brow as he roughly propped himself up with an elbow, looking up at you with a furrowed expression.
“(Y/N)..?” He trailed, pausing to take in a shuddering morning yawn through a confused smirk. “Did I… Dear, what time is it?”
You looked at him tenderly. Oh, how cute he was, sleepy like this. Composed like an exhausted kid. Something even you have never seen before.
“Yeah,” You responded to his unspoken question. “It’s probably seven a.m. or so. I dunno.” There wasn’t a clock in your immediate line of sight.” “A.m. …” He said slowly. He sat up fully, looking down in disappointment at his wrinkled day wear. He quickly blinked the sleep from his eyes and managed to bring some composure to himself, but that lick of exhaustion was still prominent. Especially under his eyes.
“Yeah,” You said again, a light chuckle following. “Goodmorning, Al.”
He wasn’t obviously upset, it seemed. Though he probably was too tired to think about it too much yet. Maybe later.
“Well… Goodmorning, love.” He responded, still with a hint of confusion in his voice. “I suppose I accepted your plea from last night.” He brushed at his clothes while he spoke, trying to flatten out the creases that were brought on through a night of rest.
“Maybe more often?” You asked, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation. You already knew the answer, but it was okay. You knew how to keep him in now. You mischievously smirked as he closed his eyes and shook his head.
“Unlikely.”
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seung-mong · 6 months ago
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everyone adores you (i hate that i do too) - kim seungmin
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includes: seungmin x reader, friends to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers?? (kinda academic rivals vibe) college au, soft dom! seungie, everyone knows they r in love except them, kinda slow burn? idk, fluff, angst, quick vanilla smut scene at the end, unprotected sex, possessive seungmin, creampie oopsie woopsie, felix is lowk seungmin's downfall lmao
a/n: the people have chosen, thank u for those who voted on the poll!! i know this is so ridiculously late but ive been in a writer's funk lately and ive just been so unmotivated #rant anyway i hope you guys like this one:') chan x hybrid felix x reader up next?? :00
wc: 12k YAPPING ofc my longest fic is of my husband #seungminlover #myMan
"there's nothing i can do for you, mr. kim. you failed to submit the third reflection essay. i have been considerate with your other late submissions..." the middle aged professor sighs, bringing a hand to his forehead and massaging his temples in frustration.
seungmin's hands wrap tighter around the strap of his bag, nylon almost burning against his palm due to the friction. "mr. park," he almost whines, leaning forward in his chair.
seungmin's desperate. he needs to pass this class, a prerequisite to all of his majors. he'll be damned if he takes his classes later than everyone else. "please, there must be something i can do. anything for extra credit. i really really need to pass this class." his voice slightly breaks, so close to tears. he can feel the red hot embarrassment that washes over him at the thought of having to explain why he cant enlist in the same classes as his friends.
he's never gonna hear the end of it when he tells his parents, always hard on his ass about biting off more than he can chew and he's always shrugged them off. how is everything so different now? in highschool he was juggling acads, being president of the student council, being in choir, dance, band, and the debate team. and now? four classes and a stupid glee club and hes falling behind.
his worst fear.
the older man swallows thickly, obviously uncomfortable at his student's sudden show of vulnerability. "mr. kim, i really want to help you. but im afraid there's no extra work i can give you to help you raise your grade.
seungmin shakes his head, slumping deep in his seat.
"normally i'd offer that you could check some papers and-"
"i'll do it!" seungmin yells, almost jumping out of his seat.
"but another student has already offered to be my teaching assistant for this term for extra credit as well.... unless you could convince them to split the workload... id consider raising your grade."
"sir, anything! who do i have to convince?" seungmin lets out a sigh of relief. and he thought all hope was lost.
"miss y/l/n. do you know her?"
fuck. all hope is lost.
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you huff as you push open the heavy metal doors to your apartment building, canvas bag filled to the brim with papers you're supposed to check. the weight is heavy on your shoulder, strap digging uncomfortably into your skin. the sting lingers as you waddle over to your apartment locker, dropping the bag as you dig into your coat pocket for your keys.
"oh, y/n! im glad i caught you." you turn around to see a kind face smiling at you from the foot of the stairs, long blonde hair tied somewhat neatly to keep strands away from his neck. stubborn clumps of hair fall over his forehead, sticking to the skin in a thin sheen of sweat.
"hyunjin?" you squeal, leaving all your bags right there on the floor as you run towards your childhood friend. your arms wrap around his neck as he laughs, arms coming up to wrap around your waist. you nearly knock him off his feet from the force that you throw yourself at him, but he cant blame you. it has been way too long.
"but... what are you doing here? i thought you were still in paris?" you chuckle, breathless as you pull apart from him.
"non!," he teases, but his smile quickly shifts. "due to some, ah- unfortunate circumstances, i had to return home a little earlier than i had planned," he shrugs, grabbing your arm and hooking it with his.
"oh cut the bullshit, hwang." you laugh, pulling him towards your locker. "tell me what happened," you groan, bending down to pick up your bag. hyunjin, ever the gentleman, quickly reacts from beside you, taking it away from you before slinging it over his own shoulder. "tell me what really happened, hm? it's me." you huff, punching him lightly on the shoulder.
he smiles sadly at you, shaking his head. he knows he cant lie to you. "how about we catch up over a cup of coffee, huh? my, ive been looking all over campus for you and when we finally meet after three years you dont even invite me in?" he pouts at you.
you roll your eyes at his dramatics. nice to know he hasnt changed that about himself. dare you say paris has only fed his dramatic flare? "let's go have some coffee somewhere else then, my apartment's kinda messy right now. oh! have you told felix you're back? you guys are... okay now, right?" you're careful to watch his expression at the mention of his past lover.
"no, he doesnt know im home. it kinda defeats the whole purpose of the surprise, you know?" he retorts, watching you with a fond smile as you shove your phone and keys back into your pockets. "and yes. felix and i are alright, thank you for asking."
"well, i'm sure he'd love to see you again. i know where he's working. maybe we could drop by for some drinks?"
hyunjin hums thoughtfully at that, chuckling a bit once you push open the damned metal door. "i guess it wouldnt hurt to say hello? besides. we have been... talking again."
"oh is that so?" you feign disinterest, eyes trained on the leaves that crunch under your feet.
he hums once more, squinting when he looks up, the sun beaming against his face. how he's missed its' warmth. paris was often gloomy. "we discussed possibly trying again." he says calmly, sighing with content.
you falter, "that might be good. ive always known you guys still loved each other! besides, you guys were young and stupid."
"that we were." hyunjin laughs. "well how about you and... ah- he who must not be named?"
you tense a little at that, opting to play it off with a shrug. "havent seen him around much, actually."
"well that's odd. you three were the only ones from our highschool to pass SNU and you guys dont keep in touch?"
"well i dont keep in touch with people from highschool much." you bite back.
"well how about me and felix?" he challenges.
"yea. just you two."
"arent you two in the same major?"
"we have different schedules. never aligns."
"but yuna and lia said-"
"i just dont see seungmin much, alright? that's that!" you groan, shoving your hands into your pockets.
"oh my dear y/n, nothing has changed! have you tried to patch things up with him? after all we were, hm what did you say, ah- young and stupid?"
"well he certainly was." you mumble, and hyunjin bursts out laughing. he throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer against his side. "god, i've missed you."
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felix absolutely adores his job. he gets to help bake in the kitchens in the morning, and then he gets to make such fun little drinks while listening to music he chooses. he loves his coworkers, and his schedule is flexible, what with the manager knowing how most of his staff are all college students. the one thing he hates though? dealing with rude customers.
"i apologize, sir. our drinks are served in plastic cups as most of our customers dont finish their drink here, it's easier to take out in case you need to leave in a hurry." felix can feel the sweat start to form at his hairline, trickling slowly down his forehead as his cheeks twitch in a forced smile.
"well if i knew you served it in plastic cups, i never would have ordered!" the middle-aged man in front of him yells, eyebrows raised. students in the cafe have started to look over, trying hard to be discreet. some look annoyed, others clearly show how they feel sorry for felix.
felix tries his best to keep his smile, but he can feel anger and annoyance rise in him like hot water boiling deep in his gut.
"what the fuck is the difference??" he wants to scream, grab the stupid plastic cup from his stupid chubby fingers and throw it right in his stupid ugly face.
"im sorry sir, is there some kind of problem here?" a calm voice calls from behind the man, who turns around in surprise.
seungmin stands with his hands in his pockets, a small smile on his lips. he's dressed in nothing fancy, a university hoodie and some sweatpants. he's only supposed to catch up with felix as he busies himself around the cafe after all. his hair is tucked neatly in his cap, the perfect image of your average college student.
felix swears he's an angel sent from the heavens.
"this is none of your business, kid." the man snorts disgustingly, waving a chubby finger in seungmin's face.
"well, actually this is a public space and you're holding up the line. so yea, it kinda is my business. besides, you're on university grounds, i have every right to be here as a student." seungmin says coolly, taking a step towards the counter so he's able to somewhat position himself in between felix and this gross ugly man.
"listen, i'm a paying customer, so-"
"and the staff has the right to refuse service to anyone unless on the basis of race, religion, or ethnicity- isn't that right, felix?"
and its like suddenly felix has found his voice. he stands a little taller, leaning forward to get closer to the man's face. "that's right."
"and you're not refusing to serve this man because hes white or anything, right?" seungmin eggs him on, throwing the man a somewhat bored look.
"no. its because hes an asshole."
"hey-" the man steps forward, hands raised.
"well you heard him!" seungmin cuts the man off before he can continue, fully stepping in front of felix now. "if you dont leave within the next ten seconds, i'm calling security. they take peace and order on school grounds very seriously, you know?"
the man huffs, turning around and slamming the door behind him so hard that the little bell that jingles near the doorframe rattles wildly seconds after he's left.
"i dont know how you deal with assholes like that, felix. id probably lose my mind." seungmin sighs, throwing his friend a tight lipped smile.
"you kinda get used to it. but i've just been so tired this finals week that i dont even have the energy to stand up for myself anymore." felix shakes his head while he wipes the counter down.
seungmin nods understandingly, lunging for the man's untouched drink before felix can throw it. "this is paid, isn't it?"
"well, yes but-"
"alright, felix look. i have a problem." seungmin slides easily into one of the stools by the counter, taking a deep sip of the man's mystery drink.
felix nods in understanding, rearranging trays and cleaning up as much as he can.
"well actually, it's more of a favor? i dont know."
felix only hums, used to seungmin's rambling by now. seungmin's just like that, needs to talk to himself aloud a little before getting straight to the point.
"im actually screwed and there's no one else i can talk to because well, there's no more shame between us, yea? we've seen each other naked and ive seen you at your lowest low and youve been there for me and-"
"wow, this is pretty serious, huh?" felix jokes, pulling up a stool so he can sit in front of his friend.
"i think i'm gonna fail a class." seungmin spits out, holding his breath immediately after as he gauges his friend's reaction.
felix's smile slowly disappears. his mouth opens and closes like a fish as he tries to figure out what to say, in a state of total shock. this goes on for about five minutes before seungmin finally whines, head dropping to his hands.
"will you say something i can actually understand, felix?"
"i'm sorry i just- i dont understand. you're.... failing? you? kim seungmin? the kim seungmin?"
"wow you really know how to comfort a guy, huh?"
"i'm sorry!" felix jumps up to pull seungmin in for a half-hug, awkwardly wrapping his arms around seungmin's chest over the counter. "i just... how? why? what subject? are you sure?"
"yes, im sure. i missed a stupid submission. a major subject. look, thats not the worst part-"
"omigod you're dying. thats the only explanation-"
"no!" seungmin whines, pushing his friend off him. "the professor said he could give me extra credit-"
"but thats good news!"
"-if im able to convince... someone.... to split the task given to them with me."
"o...kay? just turn on your puppydog charm and you're good to go."
seungmin shakes his head, as if he's about to deliver such solemn news to felix that he has to pause for dramatic effect. felix rolls his eyes.
"it's... well the person is y/n."
felix stares at his friend with wide eyes, unblinking. then he tilts his head back and lets out the most obnoxious laugh, losing his breath as his neck turns a deep shade of red, the tint spreading across his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.
"you're joking! oh this is just too- oh, i cant breathe, ITS KARMA!" he suddenly yells, fighting for his life to breathe in as much air as possible, wiping the tears from his eyes.
seungmin winces, but deep down he knows this reaction is deserved.
his relationship with you is... a little complicated.
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you met seungmin in your freshman year of highschool. you'd just moved to seoul, the New Girl. as batch rep, he was tasked with showing you around on your first day, teaching you the ropes and making you feel welcomed.
"well yea, thats basically it!" seungmin finishes, pace slowing down as he directs you to the bench just opposite the school clinic. "do you have any questions for me?" he asks with a slight tilt of his head.
your eyes stay trained on the floor, as they have been the past 30 minutes that this strange boy has toured you around the school. you shake your head. seungmin doesnt fully understand it yet, but somewhere deep down, he feels bad for you. you seem like the shy type, and he knows how hard it is to adjust and make new friends. god knows how he would have survived middle school if it weren't for his friends.
"hey, what do you say you come meet my friends tomorrow during lunch break?" he suddenly asks. for the first time since his homeroom teacher introduced you, you look up at him.
he's taken aback by how pretty your eyes are.
"oh, really?" you ask timidly, voice small.
"i- i mean yea! we're in the same homeroom anyway, right? plus i think it'll help you adjust a little better if you had people you could talk to and hang out with." seungmin shrugs.
"yea. i'd really like that. thank you, seungmin." your voice is so low its almost like you're mumbling.
before you know it, you're spending your lunch breaks laughing along with felix as he embarrasses all of seungmin's friends one by one, wincing away from changbin as he threatens to lunge across the table to shut the younger boy up, hyunjin clinging dramatically onto his boyfriend's side instead of defending him.
you're spending your weekends at seungmin's house as chan makes you all listen to his new demo, han turning red in the face when his verse comes on. you're walking to school with jeongin- arms full of convenience store goodies as you make fun of your grumpy old maths teacher, leeknow following quietly behind you both, scolding you when you get too close to the road.
before you know it, you've found yourself a group of friends who makes highschool just that much bearable.
seungmin's completely enamored by you, coming to learn that you're at the top of every class that you have (except the ones you have with him, of course). you're just as ambitious as he is, joining the debate team and the mock un club, quickly joining the officers despite being a new student.
he's somewhat threatened by you, though he'd never admit it to himself, or to anyone else for that matter. you score higher than him in statistics, and he cant help the ugly feeling that settles in his chest when you show your paper to him, a bright blue 100 circled at the top.
he tries not to let it get to him, changing his mindset into seeing it as a healthy competition, a way for him to challenge himself even more in to doing better than you. it feeds his competitive side, staying longer than you in the library, sleeping later than you, reading more books.
this one sided competition makes him feel conflicted. he's out for your blood, and yet you're the same sweet, shy girl he's always been close to. you spend most of your time with seungmin, studying with him at his house, sleeping over when you've realized its way past ten in the evening, sneaking out of his house for a quick convenience store run.
"min, i'm hungry! lets go down to the store." you'd whine, voice slightly muffled against his soft sheets, tucked nice and warm under his blankets.
"go home, you've finished all the food here." he'd tease, not even bothering to look away from his homework.
"cant. you'd miss me after an hour." you'd retort, reaching blindly behind you for a plushie to throw at the back of his head.
"suppose that's true. can't help but be used to your presence when you're here nearly every day," he'd feign annoyance, exhaling loudly through his nose.
you'd pout at him when he'd finally turn in his chair to look over at you, already so at home, snuggling even deeper into his bed.
you really do have such pretty eyes.
"fine. grab your coat." and he'd try hard to fight his smile at the sound of your delighted squeals.
you found a way to break through his walls, chip away at the cement and reduce it to a fine dust which you've blown away. but he stands unguarded all the same, not even bothering to put up a fight when you wrestle your way into his heart.
he'd like to keep you there, he thinks.
sometimes he'd lie to himself and say that he tried. by your senior year, he managed to ruin the one good thing in his life.
how stupid was he?
amazing, really. how he was able to throw away three years of friendship for fifteen minutes of fame.
"how could you do this to me?" you hiss, dropping your backpack onto the floor of seungmin's bedroom. his back is faced towards you, gently shutting his door before he leans his forehead on it. he takes a deep breath, gathering enough courage to face you.
"y/n, i-"
"you embarrassed me in front of everyone. you told them everything, things i told you in confidence because i fucking trusted you. how could you do this to me, seungmin? how could you fucking do this to me?" your tears are hot, angry against your cheeks as you pace around his room. your voice grows louder with every word, reaching a scream when you stand in front of him.
"i wasn't thinking, y/n. i-"
"and for what? to make me look bad?" you laugh hollowly, hands flying to your hair in disbelief. "to make me look like some poor, fucking loser who's so mentally unstable she can't possibly become president of student council? was that your angle?"
there's a lump in seungmin's throat and no matter how hard he swallows, it just wont go down. he opens his mouth to speak, to defend himself, but his mouth has gone dry and his tongue tastes like sand.
"what the fuck is wrong with you? i thought we were friends? i thought we were best friends, seungmin? how could you air out all my shit like that? for a couple of votes? do you know how pathetic you are? is that how bad you want to be president? you're willing to throw me under the bus to make yourself look good?" you can taste the salty tears pooling in your mouth, snot slowly dripping down and creating a sticky mess on your face.
but you're too angry to care.
your chest hurts, like someone's kicked you to the ground and continuously stomped right in between your ribcage in an attempt to squash your heart. your head hurts from dehydration, and your neck is starting to feel sticky from the sweat that's pooled at the collar of your uniform.
"was this your master plan? you found out i was running against you so you sucked up to me, kept me close so you could get all the dirt? you fucking traitor, i cant believe i actually trusted you." your throat has gone raw from all the yelling, can feel the way your voice starts to come out hoarse.
"y/n, please. i'm so sorry i dont know what i was thinking. i just... when they asked me why they should vote for me my mind blanked and i-" he tries to get everything out as fast as he can, terrified you'll cut him off and start yelling again. but he can't continue because, holy shit, even he doesn't know why the fuck he did what he did.
"and you what? made me look fucking stupid so you rambled on for fifteen minutes about how much of a horrible person i am. god, if thats what you thought of me you shouldve let me know, seungmin! i couldve walked out of your life if i made you that miserable." you're starting to heave, all the air in the room suddenly disappearing.
"no, dont say that y/n. you're the best thing about me, you're my best fr-"
seungmin feels dizzy when your palm lands on his right cheek.
you cant stop sobbing, hands clutching at your chest as you shake your head. "fuck you," you whisper.
seungmin is stunned, frozen in the middle of his room with his mouth slightly open. he says nothing, does nothing as he watches you bend down weakly to grab your bag, sobbing through the motions of slinging it over your shoulders.
but then the panic starts to kick in when you push past him, your fingers reaching for his doorknob. his instincts kick in and hes wrapping his hand around your wrist.
"please don't go, please let's talk about this." his voice cracks. when did he start crying?"
you pause, and for a moment seungmin can feel the weight on his shoulder lift, all hope is not lost.
"its good to know where your priorities lie, seungmin. now i know you'll do anything to get ahead. even if that means hurting me." you tried to sound strong, but your voice comes out broken, a whimper.
"dont speak to me ever again."
you pull your hand away from him.
the weight on his shoulders is suddenly crushing.
and when he gave his acceptance speech in front of the entire student body, he frantically searched for your face. his heart dropped when his eyes locked with yours. eyes that once looked at him with so much warmth, care, and love- stared soullessly back at him.
he knew he fucked up the best thing in his life.
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by the time you reach felix's cafe, hyunjin's whining had started to get on your nerves.
"i didn't ask you to carry it," you remind him, reaching for the strap.
he turns his body away from you, clutching your tote tighter against his side. "as if i'd let you carry this!"
yes, he was a gentleman. but a dramatic ass one.
"id honestly rather carry my bag than have to listen to you whine about how heavy it is."
"but it is so heavy! what the fuck did you put in here, rocks?"
you only roll your eyes, pushing open the glass door to the establishment. the tiny bell above the doorframe rings, announcing your arrival to the blonde boy behind the counter.
"oh my god, its soobin." you whisper under your breath, elbowing hyunjin in the ribs. he only looks at you puzzled, an eyebrow raised.
"he's so cute, ohmygod." you roll your eyes, quickly checking your blurry reflection on the glass door.
"not my type," hyunjin shrugs. you ignore him, walking straight to the counter.
"oh, hey soob!" you greet him, quickly shushing hyunjin when he starts to mock your airy tone. "is felix here?" you smile sweetly, trying to tame your hair from the mess caused by the strong winds outside.
"oh yea, he's over there in the booth by the window. he's not alone though," he says, wiping down the counter after spilling a few shaves of ice.
"oh, who's he with?" you ask, already making your way down the counter.
"dunno, the dude looks kinda stressed, to be honest." he shrugs, turning away from you when the bell lets him know he's got another customer to serve.
he's with a guy? he's not on a date is he? no- he wouldve told you. besides, he wouldnt have led hyunjin on either.
hyunjin follows behind you as you make your way towards the booth, heaving dramatically as he swings your tote bag off his shoulders. he crouches behind you, snickering to himself as you both slowly walk to the table, strands of felix's hair peeking out from the opposite bench.
"surprise!" hyunjin jumps from behind you, smile swiftly morphing into a face of shock, his mouth forming a small 'o'.
"holy shit, hyune! what are you doing here?"
your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. that voice-
"s-seungmin, i didnt know you were with felix."
you freeze, jaw dropped as seungmin stands. he clearly hasn't seen you yet, back facing you as he pulls hyunjin in for a hug, squeezing him tightly.
"i thought you were in paris?" felix squeals, sliding out of the booth and joining the three for a big bear hug. he's the one who finally notices you a few feet away, his smile dropping.
"y/n." he breathes, eyes wide.
when seungmin turns around, its almost as if in its slow motion.
he looks almost exactly the same, his hair a little longer, shaggier. his eyes look more tired, little bags under his eyes give away the sleepless nights he's become familiar with. his cheeks slowly turn a light pink, dusting across his nose all the way to the tip of his ears. he's dressed the way you remember him, loose comfy clothes.
he looks good, you think. you shake the thought away.
"oh, y/n." seungmin's voice is small as he locks eyes with you.
fuck, your eyes.
his first time seeing you in three years and he hates how you manage to steal his breath away. you've changed your hair, cut it a little shorter and dyed it lighter. you've pierced your ears, little sunflower earrings peaking from beneath your hair. you look so much more mature, your style has definitely changed.
but your eyes, they shine just as bright as he remembers. good to know his memory hasnt failed him yet.
"i didn't know you were coming, y/n." felix shoots you an apologetic glance, lips pursed and eyes wide.
"but i always come visit you on thursdays." you say flatly.
"yea but-"
"awh look! it's been a while since we've all seen each other, huh?" hyunjin cuts in, trying desperately to ease the tension. seungmin stays standing still, gawking stupidly at you. you try your best to pretend like you cant feel his gaze.
"yea, some of us made that decision on purpose." you mutter under your breath, but you don't miss the way seungmin's eye twitch.
felix smiles, lacing his hand with hyunjin's. "it's really been too long," he whispers, as if only meant for his lover.
"i'd really love if we could all spend some time together." hyunjin's eyes find yours, wide and pleading. "please?"
you offer him a tight lipped smile.
its already so awkward, the way felix and hyunjin slide naturally into the booth, beginning to chatter away. it leaves you and seungmin standing, stubbornly avoiding eye contact.
"do you- do you want to sit near the window, or?" seungmin's voice is small, eyes glued to the floor.
you shrug.
he nods, climbing in anyway. you take a deep breath before you move, reluctantly climbing onto the booth after him. you leave a considerable amount of space between the two of you, and seungmin can't help but roll his eyes.
it's been nearly three years, he thinks. how are you still holding a grudge against him? he clears his throat, about to start some small talk, but something stops him. maybe its the way you deliberately angle your body away from him, or the way you pull your phone out to scroll aimlessly, almost as if you were anticipating his move.
"so, how was paris?" seungmin asks hyunjin instead, shifting his body away from you. fine, be like that. at least hes not immature enough to make things awkward on purpose.
"oh, it was so romantic!" hyunjin exclaims, throwing his arm over felix's shoulder and resting it on the back of their booth. "it was a little depressing, actually. being in such a beautiful place all alone."
"well yea, but it was worth it right? who wouldve thought your one true love was right here all along." you tease, wiggling your eyebrows up and down.
"yea so is yours!" hyunjin teases you back. you only stick your tongue out.
beside you, seungmin tenses. surely, hyunjin isnt implying that he could be your true love, could he? the thought makes chest ache, an odd yearning to move closer to you, to let his fingers "accidentally" brush against yours-
"oh, soobin!" felix giggles, catching on.
seungmin's always hated that guy. from the moment he met soobin thirty minutes ago, he knew something was off. you can't date soobin, he wouldnt know how to take care of you. with his stupid blonde hair, his stupid bunny smile, his stupidly large eyes.
he bets soobin doesnt even know what your favorite type of ramen is, what your go-to snacks are, what your favorite flavor of ice cream is. important things that a lover should know.
things he knows.
oh, where'd that thought come from?
"shut up, you guys!" you hiss, checking to see if soobin is within earshot. you frown at felix, swatting across the table at his chest.
"what do you mean? you guys would look so cute together." hyunjin argues, quickly turning to catch a glimpse of soobin. you hide your face in your hands, profusely shaking your head as you sink deeper into the booth.
seungmin cant help the feeling of jealousy that bubbles deep in his gut. hes half scared hes going to projectile vomit all over the table when you straighten yourself out, sneaking a peek at the blonde boy who busies himself with creating a customer's drink.
"im probably not his type." you mumble.
"you're not." seungmin's shocked at the word that's slipped, hand quickly coming up to cover his mouth in shock.
all eyes are on him, and he can see the way you look at him, with your empty eyes staring right at his face. he hates it when you look at him like that, misses the way your eyes used to shine just for him.
"actually you know what, im getting kinda tired, i think im gonna go home instead." you blurt out, already reaching for your bag.
hyunjin's hand finds yours on the table, and he squeezes gently. "really?"
you swiftly pull your hand away. "yes. really."
"you know what, it doesnt matter. i actually made a reservation for us lixie. wasn't planning on staying long anyways. just wanted to surprise you." hyunjin sings sweetly, brushing away a stand of hair that had fallen on felix's cheek.
"yea, i think i'm gonna head home too." seungmin clears his throat.
just then, the sound of thunder roars outside, clouds a dark grey as they hang low.
fuck. just when you decided not to bring an umbrella.
"yea, i think we better get going. dont wanna get caught in the rain." felix sighs, gathering his stuff and offering hyunjin his hand.
"dont you have spare umbrellas here, lix? maybe we could borrow them. you know, just in case." as if on cue, the rain starts to come down heavily, droplets splattering against the window.
"yea, but there's only two." felix mutters, quickly slipping behind the counter to grab two black umbrellas leaning against the wall. "hyunjin and i can share, and maybe you and y/n-"
"i'm fine." you say stubbornly, arms crossed in front of your chest.
you'd rather die than spend two seconds alone with kim seungmin.
"oh dont say that, you'll get drenched and catch a cold." hyunjin sighs, grabbing one of the umbrellas from felix's hand and offering it to you.
"i'd actually prefer that, thanks." you snap, swatting his hand away.
hyunjin opens his mouth to berate you, but seungmin quickly steps in, reaching for the umbrella. "i'll handle this guys, you go enjoy your dinner."
you fume at that. 'oh he'll handle it? who the fuck does this guy think he is?'
you roll your eyes, pushing past your friends and heading for the door. you stand under the roof, crossing your arms in front of your chest as a cold chill blows past you. hyunjin and felix soon exit as well, wrapped tightly in their coats, hands entwined.
hyunjin steps towards you, pulling you in for a hug despite your protests. "be nice," he whispers, before planting a kiss on your cheek. you make a move to wipe it away, but hesitate when you see hyunjin pout.
"have a nice date." you mumble, watching as the pair huddles close under the umbrella, making their way to felix's car.
you hear the door open, and you hold your breath.
"let me walk you home." seungmin offers, his tone stern. this only ticks you off, wanting nothing more than to defy him despite his offer being in your best interest. your apartment is a good walk away, and the papers in your tote bag risk the chance of getting wet.
"i mean you- you live near my building, right?" he pleads, clicking his umbrella open. he waits patiently for you to respond, standing awkwardly by the sidewalk as you fight with your pride.
you nod, and thats all seungmin needs. he's by your side in an instant, holding the umbrella nearer to your side to ensure that not even an inch of you gets wet from the rain. his left side is already completely soaked, cringing at the feel of his cold hoodie sticking to his skin, but he ignores it. you set a fast pace, and his heart hurts at the though that it's probably because you can't stand to spend more time with him than you need to.
he notices you wince from the weight of your bag, taking a deep breath as you readjust the strap from falling off your shoulder.
"let me carry it," he's being bold, already reaching for the damn thing before you can say anything.
"i dont need any more favors." you snap, the first words you've directly said to him in nearly three years. he's glad you've at least acknowledged his existence now, but your words are sharp.
he lets it go, humming to let you know that he heard you. your pace quickens just a bit, eager to get home, out of the rain, and away from seungmin. your tote swings from the movement, getting caught on a nearby bush and very nearly pulling you back.
you lose your balance and slip, falling flat on your butt on the wet pavement. you try to brake your fall, scratching your palms in the process.
"oh my god, are you okay?" seungmin rushes down, still holding the umbrella over your head. he offers his hand to help you up, but you swat it away.
"i'm fine, alright? god, stop hovering!" you yell, pushing down on your scratched palms to help yourself up. you wince at the pain, brushing off tiny pebbles and bits of gravel from your open wound.
"y/n, you're bleeding." seungmin gawks, hand reaching out to touch yours. you quickly yank it out of his reach, almost as if you were hiding your palm from him.
"yea, thanks for the info." you mumble, trying your best to wipe away the mud that's splattered all over your jeans. seungmin moves quickly while you're preoccupied, crouching down to grab at your tote bag. he ignores your whines of protest, slinging it over his shoulder.
you let out a groan when he refuses to hand it back to you. "fine, whatever. suffer." you grumble, crossing your arms before walking away. seungmin quickly catches up to you, shielding you from the rain.
the walk home is painfully quiet. you're hyperaware of every movement he makes, every time he inhales, the way he clears his throat, as if he's about to say something before he changes his mind. all these emotions swirl angirly inside of you, most of them you cant even begin to comprehend.
because for some reason, you miss him. and it hits you like a truck when the sleeve of his hoodie grazes your elbow, the soft cloth reaching for you. it takes everything in you not to break down and grab for him, to hold him close and strangle him, to wrap your arms around him and hug him so tight he loses breath and dies of suffocation.
he smells the same, like the seungmin you remember who used to walk you home after band practice. the seungmin who held your hand in secret as you walked through the haunted house that one halloween. the seungmin who'd sing to you, alone in his room with his guitar on his lap.
your seungmin.
how could this stranger beside you be your seungmin?
how is it possible that the very same person who knows your deepest darkest secrets, your most embarrassing moments, your dreams and fears- is someone who doesn't know you at all?
seungmin stands stiff beside you as you reach the lobby of your apartment, shaking the little droplets of rain off the umbrella. he opens the door for you, urging you to enter before him.
"i'll have my bag back now, thanks." you say in monotone, eyes not even meeting his.
"let me carry it up." a bold request.
"i'm fine now, you know? im not some damsel in distress in need of saving." you mumble, standing your ground.
seungmin ignores you, already walking towards the elevator. he leaves it on hold, waiting a few seconds before you enter as well, grumbling under your breath.
once you reach your floor, you lead the way to your room, with seungmin trailing slowly behind you. he's shivering a little from the cold, the wet of his jacket only making the draft on the floor feel like ice against his skin. you notice, the little devil on your shoulder pleased at his suffering.
but there's another side of you that softens when you notice the way his teeth chatter, a shudder going down his whole body. god, you're gonna regret even opening your mouth-
"you can come in to warm up a little." you mumble, reaching into your coat pocket to fetch your keys.
seungmin merely blinks at you, unsure if he heard you correctly, or if his imagination was so strong that he managed to picture you saying the thing he so desperately wanted to hear.
but then you walk in, and you leave your door open. for him.
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"oh, thanks." seungmin mutters awkwardly, reaching for the cup of tea you offer him. the warmth spreads from his fingertips to his palms, and he's genuinely grateful for the heat it provides. you only hum, grabbing your tote bag from the floor and setting it on the couch.
you pour yourself a cup, sitting directly opposite of the strange boy in your apartment. you blow away some of the steam that rises from the cup, eyes trained on the way the liquid ripples from the force of your breath.
seungmin opens his mouth to speak, but he cant seem to find the words to say what he wants to say. i'm sorry? no thats too lame. i miss you? fuck no, way too forward. how about-
"you're shivering." you point out, staring directly into seungmin's eyes.
his breath hitches. you're looking at him.
actually looking at him.
"oh, i- i didn't even notice." he lies. despite the fact that you turned your heater on, he's fucking freezing. his hoodie is heavy with rain and damp against his skin, sending shivers all the way up his arm and down his spine.
suddenly you stand, retreating into your room without a word. seungmin's confused, unsure if that's his cue that he's overstayed his welcome. but then you come back into the kitchen after a few seconds, holding a large blue hoodie in your arms.
his heart clenches when you unfurl it, revealing the old hoodie he'd given you a month before your graduation. he didnt even know you got it in the mail when he sent it. you werent even talking to him at that point. does that mean you'd gotten his letter too?
"well, i didnt wanna get rid of it, you know? would be a waste." you mumble. you toss it over to him, the cloth landing on his lap with a soft thud. he looks stupidly down at it, brain malfunctioning.
"you should change out of your sweater. you're wet. dripping all over my floor." you grumble, snatching seungmin's empty cup and setting it down on the counter behind him.
"you kept it?" seungmin whispers.
"like i said. didnt want it-"
"you kept it." seungmin turns to look at you.
his deep brown eyes are hopeful, crease in his brows giving away the myriad of emotions swirling deep in his stomach.
you stay silent, back turned towards him. you can feel the tears that pool behind your eyelids, threatening to fall as you hold yourself over the sink, turning your head completely away from seungmin. you hear the sound of fabric rustling, and your cheeks warm at the thought of him undressing in the middle of your kitchen.
the sound of wood scratching against your kitchen tiles is loud, the abruptness of seungmin standing up nearly sending the chair backwards.
"smells like you." he whispers. he cant trust his voice.
he takes a step towards you, your back still towards him.
"i think its time for you to go." you hiccup, a steady stream of tears flowing down your cheeks.
"look at me." seungmin begs, taking another step.
"you should go now, seungmin."
"look me in the eye when you tell me. then i will."
he's getting bold, standing right behind you, his chest pressing the back of your head. you whirl around, ready to yell at him, to scream at him, to slap him, to furl your hands into fists and beat against his chest.
but he's quicker, wrapping both his arms around your shoulders and pressing you close to him, tucking your head under his chin. he holds you like this for so long you figure its been hours. you stain the front of his chest with your tears, hands weakly wrapping around him, fingers curling into the fabric.
he still feels like seungmin.
your seungmin.
"you kept it. you got my letter too, didn't you sweetheart?" he whispers, as if afraid raising his voice would ruin the spell.
you sob violently against his chest, holding him tighter against you.
"i meant every single word," he squeezes you tightly, "i'm so sorry."
"you're an asshole, kim seungmin." you sob, shaking your head.
"i know, i know. i'm so sorry." he shushes you, smoothing down your hair, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.
"do you know how much it hurts?" you sob, pulling away from him. "i see you almost everyday. you have the face of someone who knows every single thing about me, but you're a complete stranger to me." you sob into your hands, pouring your heart out to him.
"i know," he sniffles, wiping away the snot under your nose with his free hand.
"no, you dont. stop fucking saying that." you pull your face away from him, pushing his hand down. "you were my best friend and you- now its like i dont know you and-" you're hiccuping, heaving, out of breath as you break down.
"i'm sorry, sweetheart, okay? i'm so so sorry. i was so stupid,"
"well yea!" you yell, falling into him when he opens his arms up to you.
he chuckles dryly at that, holding you tightly against him, as if terrified you'd change your mind and kick him out of your home. and he cant bear to see it, the way you look up at him with tears in your eyes, bloodshot red and full of resentment. he wants to fix it so bad, misses the way you'd hold softness in your eyes reserved especially for him.
"i'll make it right," he promises, nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head. "i'll prove it to you, okay? i promise."
you sniffle, shaking your head. "i- i dont know,"
"hey, look at me." seungmin pulls you away from him, bending slightly so you're eye to eye. "i promise, i'll do everything i can to gain back your trust. i just miss you so much, y/n. i- i really fucked up and to this day it remains my greatest regret."
you stay quiet, eyes flickering between either of his. "even more than when you shaved your head that one summer?" you joke weakly.
seungmin can feel his heart pounding at the sight of your small smile. he thinks he sees your eyes twinkle. "yes, sweetheart. even more than that. i just... please. give me another chance. give me a chance to make it right with you, y/n."
you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. seungmin's steadily crying, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand as he looks at you, expectantly. you stay quiet for so long seungmin can hear the blood rushing all the way to his head, going dizzy with anticipation and fear.
"you'll have to buy me lots of gummies, you know?" you mumble, looking up at him.
fuck. he'd buy you all the gummies in the world if it meant you'd keep looking at him with those eyes.
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the words on your screen have started to blur altogether, vision hazy as you mindlessly scroll through the hundreds of pages of readings and notes youve been reviewing for the past...... god, was there even a time you weren't studying? even the music playing through your headphones have lost its appeal, sounding more and more like radio static.
you jolt out of your trance at the sound of books slamming against the surface of your table, which shakes under the weight. you quickly pull your headphones off and look up at the intruder, who smiles sheepishly at you.
"sorry, did i wake you?" seungmin asks, pulling up a chair beside you.
"no, you saved me." you groan, stretching your whole body until your limbs start to vibrate.
seungmin only laughs, sinking deep into his chair. he takes his cap off and runs his fingers through his hair. he scoots a little closer to you, then bends the other way to retrieve a little brown paper bag.
"i brought you breakfast." he says, rolling his eyes at the way you pout at him.
"seungmin, you didnt!" you gasp, receiving the tall cup of iced coffee with eager hands.
"i did this for myself, actually." he claims, pulling out some warm bread to share with you. "dont want you grumpy all morning. what time did you come in? you look like shit. no offense."
you shrug, taking a long sip of the cold drink.
"wait, weren't you wearing that last night when i left? y/n.. dont- oh my god, dont tell me you spent the whole night here?"
you stare blankly back at him. "our final exam is in three days."
"do you plan on staying awake until then?" seungmin bites sarcastically, and you kick his chair.
"i have to atleast get a 97 on his exam or else i wont finish his class with high honors." you whine, running your fingers through your hair in frustration.
you're so much like him, seungmin thinks. he, too, is familiar with sacrificing his happiness for a perfect grade. except now he has to work just as hard as you just to pass. the thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
"you have to get some sleep or you wont finish his class at all." he threatens, staring down at you.
you only frown, but you dont need that much convincing, as you're already closing your laptop shut, scooting your chair just that much closer to seungmin's so your arm grazes his.
"wake me up in thirty minutes." you grumble, linking your arm with his and resting your head on his shoulder. he raises it a little to grant you comfort, unbothered by the fact that his arm will inevitably start to tense and ache.
"sweet dreams," he hums, discreetly kissing the top of your head as he pretends to look at the empty chair next to you.
ten minutes pass, and you're already snoring. your fair falls in a mess in front of your face, and seungmin has to hold back from sweeping your hair away in fear that he'd accidentally wake you up. he cant help but feel his chest swell at the feeling of you leaning on him, he feels like a highschooler high with giddiness, trying hard not to vibrate in his seat.
screw the readings, he can barely keep you out of his head. this past month has been an absolute dream to him, spending every waking moment by your side. treating you to almost every single meal, keeping you company as you run your errands, crashing at yours to study and just goof around.
this is how he remembers you- full of life, playful, just a little mischievous. so positively alluring that seungmin feels himself falling in love with you. it hit him like a brick that night you passed out with papers strewn across your bed, your limbs tangling with his. he didnt sleep a wink that night, too busy studying your face. you looked so peaceful, he remembers, burying your face in the crook of his neck and holding him tightly in your sleep.
he looks down at you now, cant stop the smile from spreading across his face. he'll let you sleep for a little longer, he decides. he doesnt care if you get upset with him (you will), you deserve the rest. seungmin's about to finally clear his head of you and actually get some studying done when he locks eyes with a tall blonde from across the room.
god, of all the people.
"oh, hey! seungmin, right? felix's friend?" soobin says in a low voice as he approaches the table.
"yea, soobin right?" stupid fucking name.
"yea. hey- is that y/n?" he nods towards your sleeping figure.
ew. stop looking at her. "oh, yea. she passed out."
"damn, she's really studious, huh? ran into her late last night when she was here all alone." soobin sighs, frowning at you.
seungmin wants to puke at the thought of you spending time alone with soobin. he wants to ask him so many questions like- how long did you talk to her for? what did you guys talk about? how much can i pay you to leave her alone?
"yea, shes hardworking. i admire her for that." seungmin smiles fondly.
"oh... wait- are.. are you guys, like, a thing? or something?" soobin takes a step back and seungmin's breath hitches in his throat.
"cuz if you guys are, i can totally back off, you know?"
seungmin stays silent, weighing his options. he could lie and say you guys were dating, but if you found out, you'd probably hate him and ignore him for the rest of his life and he'd rather die than let that happen. on the other hand, if he tells the truth, soobin would obviously try to pursure you. and he knows you have a little crush on him too.
seungmin bites his lower lip, then shakes his head. "nah, we're just friends." seungmin can feel some bile rise in his throat. not for long, he thinks cockily.
"oh, cool cool. uhm, if you could do me a favor, man? just... i dunno ask her to go to the cafe again this week? maybe i'll work up the courage to ask her out or something." soobin chuckles, cheeks turning a deep red.
seungmin can only nod. finally soobin offers him a small smile and leaves. there's a heavy feeling in seungmin's stomach, almost as if he'd been punched in the gut. he cant even begin to imagine you dating someone else, in fear that he'd just break down right then and there.
its kinda pathetic, really. you're not even his yet and he's already thinking of all the ways he can get soobin to leave you alone. he wants to print a large sign that says "do not approach, angry guard dog will bite" over your head, just to keep everyone else away from you.
god, since when was he this possessive?
he spends the next forty minutes thinking of ways to get you to be his. and when you finally stir awake, the first thing that seungmin says is-
"we should stop going to felix's cafe."
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obviously, you dont listen.
you go to felix's cafe anyways, except you're always alone. seungmin doesn't need to know where you go every thursday afternoon while he's in class, anyways. he never told you why he wanted you to stop coming here, but you have a hunch. a tall, blonde, stupidly handsome hunch.
"y/n!" soobin greets you warmly, leaning over the counter to get a better look at your face.
"hey, soob." your cheeks warm.
you know that nothing is going on between you and seungmin, but you can't help but feel guilty doing exactly the opposite of what he asked of you. but something's shifted the past few days you've been spending with seungmin, almost as if you're seeing each other in this new light. you push this thought to the back of your head like you always do, telling soobin your order and waiting for felix at your booth.
by the time soobin brings the food to you, your phone rings.
fuck. its seungmin.
"hello?"
"hey, my classes ended a little early today. where are you?"
"oh, uhm im-"
oh my god lie faster.
"yea?" you can hear him huffing, obviously walking around campus, probably looking for you.
"at the library." you spit, looking outside the window, frozen with paranoia. lying to him feels so so wrong.
"its wednesday, y/n. library's closed."
oh my fucking god, lie better.
"i went to meet felix." you finally admit, shrinking into your seat.
you hear seungmin sigh. "is he out already?"
"no," you mumble.
"so you're alone?"
you hum.
"im on my way."
he hangs up, and you let out a sigh.
finally, felix barges out from the kitchens and quickly clocks out, throwing his apron over his head and hanging it on the hook by the door. he smiles when he sees you, nearly leaping over the counter to get to you.
"hello, my dear y/n." felix hums, kissing you quickly on the cheek and settling on the booth opposite from you.
"hello, my dear lixie." you hum, pushing a plate of waffles in front of him. "for you, your usual."
felix groans with hunger, fixing his plate with a heavy load of syrup and a huge dollop of butter. "so, how are things? any important new updates this week?"
you shrug, taking a sip of your iced coffee. "nothing new, really..... except, i guess...."
felix hums, urging you to continue.
you let out a deep breath, shaking your head. "i think... i think something's going on between seungmin and i."
you bite the inside of your cheek at felix's reaction, mouth agape as he stares blankly at you. it takes him a moment to process before he finally swallows the food in his mouth and he lets out an evil giggle. "oh, this is... oh, hyunjin owes me so much money!"
"you prick!" you gasp, swatting at felix's arm. "you guys bet on us?"
"well, i mean, come on! it was sooo obvious, i mean, it was only a matter of time, you know?" felix shrugs, cutting up another piece of his waffle.
"no, i do not know!" you squeal, piercing the piece with your fork and stuffing it into your mouth, ignoring your friend's whines of protest. "you guys thought seungmin and i would end up together?"
"well yea, everyone with eyes thought so! come on, y/n. he's looked at you like a lovesick puppy since highschool." felix rolls his eyes. "you guys were always together, and he knew you better than all of us combined. not to mention how lifeless you both were the two years you werent talking. i mean seriously, it was like hanging out with a couple of zombies."
your cheeks warm. "but- im still not even sure of how he feels about me."
"wow. love does make you oblivious as fuck, or whatever they say." felix shakes his head, chugging down his vanilla milkshake before he suddenly remembers something.
"does that mean you're gonna let him help you grade the papers for extra credit?"
you freeze. "what?"
"yea, seungmin said he needs to convince you or else he'd fail, or something. you guys talked about it already, or?"
your breath falters, and your brows furrow. "seungmin's failing a class?"
felix swallows. he cant shake off the feeling that he said something he shouldnt have. but he could never keep a secret from you.
"well- yes. his prof said he needed to convince you to help him get extra credit."
"wait, when was this?" you ask, voice stern.
oh, felix is soooo in deep shit. "uhm, like the day you guys started talking again."
your heart drops to your ass. surely, thats not the whole reason why he was so desperate to talk to you again, right? but you cant shake away the feeling, remembering back to highschool when he'd done almost the exact same thing.
but he promised. he promised it'd be different this time, right?
"seungmin told you that he needed to convince me to let him grade some papers?" you clarify.
"yea."
"and what did you say?"
"i uhm- i told him to like, turn on his charm or something along those lines."
you scoff in disbelief.
felix is going to hell. "but, that was my advice before i knew it was you! i just... i know seungmin needed some help and he'd do anything to get a good grade so i figured he was extra desperate because he was borderline failing and i was just so shocked and-"
"felix, just stop talking." you mumble, leaning back against the booth.
felix only nods, wringing his hands in nervousness. he opens his mouth to speak, but you shoot him a glare. he falls silent again, nervously gnawing on his bottom lip.
your mind's racing, going 100 miles an hour as you go through every moment youve had with seungmin this past month. obviously, this favor is not the only reason he tried hard to convince you to talk to him again, right?
but theres a small voice inside of you, the one who remembers the harsh pain seungmin caused that's screaming, telling you to cut him off, shut him out before he can hurt you all over again.
by the time seungmin pulls open the glass door, you've made up your mind.
"he-"
"this is the last time i let you break my heart, kim seungmin." you say firmly, brushing past him.
seungmin can only stand, frozen. his heart drops to his stomach, head going fuzzy as his gaze lands on felix. he opens his mouth to say something, but he cant find the words.
"what did you say?" seungmin asks.
"im sorry, i didnt know, i thought-"
seungmin's rushing out, throwing the door wide open as he runs out into the street. he can feel his heart pumping as he pushes through crowds of people, racing towards you. he can hear his blood rushing, catching sight of your yellow sundress as you're pushing open your apartment building. seungmin's never been a runner, hell, he nearly failed PE in highschool when he was forced to run laps a whole semester. but right now? he feels like the fucking flash.
he yells for you, ignoring the stitch in his side as he manages to somewhat catch up to you. by the time he throws open the heavy metal door to your apartment complex, the elevator doors are closing, your eyes locking with his.
"fuck." seungmin heaves, bending down to rest his hands on his knees. he needs to reach you before you lock him out of your room. he knows how stubborn you can be, you could probably ignore his pleas and incessant knocking for days if you had to.
seungmin gags, shaking his limbs before he bolts up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, pushing his legs to work faster. the backpack on his shoulders is heavy but he could care less. he cant risk losing you again.
sweat flows freely from his forehead by the time he reaches your floor, and by some miracle, he catches you walking down the hall.
"y/n!" he heaves, sliding his bag off his shoulders and leaving it right there in the hall. "please-"
"go away, seungmin." your voice cracks, digging for your keys in your bag.
he shakes his head, jogging up to you before you can close the door in his face. he sticks his shoe in the closing gap, groaning when it gets stuck between your door and the frame.
"what the fuck?" you yell, backing up as seungmin forces his way into your apartment, closing the door behind him.
"no you- you have to hear me out." he's panting, vision going blurry. jesus christ, he was out of shape.
"you want to talk about it?" you challenge, shrugging your coat off and throwing it on the floor.
"yes." he heaves, leaning against the wall.
"okay, lets talk about it. is it true that you wanted to convince me to help you get extra credit?" your hands are crossed in front of you. seungmin's admittedly a little scared.
"yes, but-"
"but what? i wasnt supposed to find out?"
"no! that was before-"
"before what?" you take a step closer, crowding him in.
"before i realized i was in love with you!" seungmin yells, hiding his face in his hands.
you're silent, expression stoic. "you're sick." you whisper, unsure of yourself. your heart is racing, and you take a step back. "dont... dont say that."
"but its the truth!" seungmin's desperate know, tears welling in his eyes. it wasnt supposed to happen like this. he was supposed to take you out, confess his feelings for you properly, but now its all ruined and rushed and- oh, when he gets his hands on lee felix-
"the truth?" you scoff, shaking your head at him. "how am i supposed to believe you? with everything that... that's happened?"
"you're going to have to trust me." seungmin steps forward, hesitant. he can see the doubt in your eyes and it makes him sick. he'd run up 10 flights of stairs if it meant you'd never look at him like that again.
"trust me when i say that i was a fucking fool in highschool for hurting you, and i spend every day thinking about how if i could, i would go back in time to change everything." he takes another step forward, backing you against the door to your bedroom.
"that i wasted two and a half years of my life by not spending them with you, knowing that you were so near me, that i could easily walk up to you but i was too embarrassed, too scared you'd shut me out." seungmin's baring his soul out, but its too late to stop.
"that i thought about you every single day, thought about what could have been if i wasnt so stupid. that ive spent the last few months doing everything i can to prove to you that i would never ever hurt you like that ever again. but with you im just so stupid, i feel like im always doing the wrong things because youre all up in my head taking up all the space and i fucking love that i cant think about anything but you."
you can only stare up at him. you can see the way his gaze flickers away from you, too nervous to maintain eye contact. he reaches out to you, fingers hesitantly brushing against the back of your hand. testing. you pull away from his touch to wipe away the tear that's managed to slip away, clearing your throat. he tilts his head, hands settling firmly on your waist.
"i love you, y/n. please, you have to believe me."
he's waiting for you to say something, anything. he's never poured his heart out like that before, the silence eating away at him as he slowly spirals, overthinking every word he's said.
but then you relax in his hold, pressing your chest subtly against his. and he knows there's hope.
"are you really failing a class?" you whisper, and seungmin can only laugh.
"that's your concern?" he leans down, dragging the tip of his nose against your cheek. he inhales deeply, nuzzling against you.
"well, yes." you gently push him away by the shoulder, looking up at him. "i cant have my boyfriend failing any of his classes."
seungmin smiles, absolutely melting when you wrap your arms around his neck. "oh yea? does that mean you'll let me in on the extra credit?"
"you are on thin, thin ice, seungmin." you warn, reaching up to finally press your lips against his. seungmin absolutely melts, letting out a low groan at your taste. one hand on your waist, seungmin leans into you, reaching behind you to open your bedroom door. you gasp when you lose balance, recovering quickly when seungmin walks you backwards, never once pulling away from you until the back of your knees hit your bed.
you let out a squeal when you fall back, seungmin expertly finding his way in between your legs. "tell me you want me," seungmin commands in between kisses, hands roaming up and down your sides.
"i do. i want you." you breathe, pushing off seungmin's jacket.
"yea?" seungmin hums, pulling back to bunch up your dress until it sits just below your ribcage. he leans back, simply staring down at you with stars in his eyes.
"stop staring at me." you mumble shyly, turning your head to the side.
"dont want to," seungmin hums, quickly throwing his shirt off into a random corner of your room. "ill look at my girl as long as i like." he leans down, capturing your lips with his.
"your girl, hmm?" you hum, smiling as he kisses his way up your stomach, fingers gripping onto the hem of your dress. your breath hitches when his fingers brush against your under boob. he smiles against your skin, looking up at you.
"aren't- arent you going to take my dress off?" you whisper into the air, and seungmin stops his teasing kisses against your hip.
"well, i was going to but then.." he kisses over the fabric, planting a wet kiss in between your breasts before latching onto your neck for a playful bite. "then i thought about how i want to fuck you in it and then take you out to dinner after."
your cheeks grow red, lightly slapping his arm at his vulgarity. "doesnt that sound better, baby?" seungmin hums, playing with the hem of your underwear.
your breath goes shaky as seungmin continues to toy with you, pads of his fingers lightly pressing against your clit from over your underwear, providing the littlest bit of friction, but enough to drive you crazy.
"seungmin, please-"
"please, what?" he teases, hips pressing into your thigh. you can feel him through his sweats, hard and aching against you. he begins to grind against you, gentle enough to tease you and get him off at the same time.
"need you to touch me." you huff, frustrated.
"i am, baby." seungmin chuckles, pads of his fingers pressing against you firmly, trailing down until he teases your entrance, soiling the fabric of your underwear with how wet you are.
"you know what i mean," you whine.
seungmin only hums, lowering his sweats just enough to free his cock. he pulls your underwear to the side, exposing your cunt to the cold air of the room, making you shiver.
"you're so wet, baby. bet i could slide right in, huh?" seungmin teases you with his tip, tapping it firmly against your clit and trailing down to coat himself in you.
"god, just put it in, minnie." you sigh, grabbing at his shoulders.
"minnie?" seungmin smirks, nosing against your jaw. "i like that."
he finally presses in, slowly making sure you feel every inch of him. you wince a bit at the pain, and seungmin notices with a coo. he pulls your hands away from his shoulders to hold against your bed, fingers intertwining with yours.
"i'm sorry, does it hurt?" he coos, slowly pulling out to thrust back in.
"a little, its okay. kiss me."
seungmin obeys, leaning down to kiss you sweetly as he starts at an even pace. he's slow with it, stroking so deep you can feel him in your throat. it feels intimate this way, with his hands in yours, his chest pressed firmly against you. he pants into your mouth, kissing you when you start to moan too loudly.
"tell me you love me." seungmin sighs, resting his forehead against yours.
you nod, "i love you. love you minnie."
seungmin lets out a groan at that, pulling one hand away to sneak in between your bodies, tips of his fingers finding your clit. he starts to move them in circles, your high fast approaching.
"i'm gonna cum," you whine, squeezing his hand.
"cum with me, baby. please," he begs, holding you so tight against him you feel the air knocked out of you with every thrust. you cum with a whine of his name, fingers digging into the back of his hand. his hips stutter before he presses as deep as he can into you, groaning loudly as he mouths at your neck.
you're both sweaty and sticky, but seungmin pays no mind as he collapses completely on top of you, wrapping his limbs around you. he looks up at you when his breathing starts to even, a cheeky grin on his face.
"what," you laugh, pushing him away by the shoulder when he leans in to kiss you.
he loves the sound of your happiness, basking in it as he shifts closer to pull you into his side. you happily comply, ignoring the mess in between your legs in favor of cuddling up to your lover.
"i really do love you." seungmin reassures, and you roll your eyes.
"i love you too. really." you hum, kissing his shoulder. "now clean me up, and dont even think about falling asleep."
seungmin groans, rolling off your bed to reach for a towel to wet. "but we have plenty of time before dinner. we can nap!"
"no, i will nap." seungmin frowns, walking into your bathroom and turning the faucet on.
"and what do you expect me to do?" seungmin says once he returns to the room, eyebrows raised.
"you, will check all the papers left in my bag." seungmin only laughs, leaning down to wipe in between your thighs, careful to get every drop.
"then can we get dinner?" he asks, pout on his lips.
"yes. your treat."
"well, duh."
as you close your eyes and start to drift off to sleep, seungmin only watches, hunched over on your bedroom floor, hundreds of papers scattered in front of him. he prays he'll be able to get it together and pry his eyes away from you to actually get some work done.
he seriously doubts it.
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sluttyminghao · 4 months ago
Text
seungcheol x fem!reader
reader is insinuated to be smaller than cheol (size kink), breeding
a/n: happy belated bday to cheollie! i hope he got the head he deserves lol thank u to @chwepen, @wongyuuu, @hannieween, @kwanisms and @whipped-for-kpop-fics for the chefs kiss ideas! as always its unedited lmao
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every thrust of seungcheol's hips has you spiralling further into your submissive state. he knows exactly how to angle his hips to have your eyes rolling and muscles spasming. the smirk only grows larger and larger on his face the further you go into submission, his perfect little doll.
with every push of his hips into yours, his sanity chips away a little more. he knows your limits, he's definitely pushed you to them, but he's never gone beyond your safe point. sometimes, like tonight, he wants to try and push you that little bit further, have you filled with his cum and on the brink of passing out.
"sir..." your voice is weak and your body feels limp as he continues to thrust himself into you, his eyebrow cocking and a smirk gracing his lips at the pet name. he urges you to go on with a tilt of his head, and a hand pressing gently against your clit, with a shudder erupting through your body.
"please breed me, fill my tiny body with your cum," you whimper, your hands reaching out for something, anything to hold onto. his body stills for a brief moment, but you feel his cock twitch. without any warning, he shifts his body so he's practically on top of you, slamming his cock deep inside of your walls.
he seems to be muttering some words to you, but your brain is so fried and fuzzy you can hardly make them out, and can only whimper and babble in response. your entire body is burning with the want and need to be filled, have every crevice of your insides covered in his cum.
and boy oh boy, is he giving you what you need.
by the third orgasm, you can feel his cum dripping from your hole and onto the sheets, which definitely need to be changed later on. you can feel his body quivering from overstimulation, just as much as yours is shaking. your eyes cant even seem to concentrate on anything anymore, everything is blurred as your body ascends into a new dimension.
"fuck baby, can't even get more than 4 loads into your tiny cunt before it's dripping onto the sheets. maybe we need to work on stretching this pussy out so you can take more of my loads hm? and i can breed you over, and over," his voice trails off as he cums once more, a shaky sigh escaping him as his body falls onto yours.
his cum continues to drip from your hole until he eventually pulls himself off you, and pulls your hips up so that your ankles are resting on his shoulders and your back is arched off the bed. you look like a beautiful picture; body red and quivering with multiple orgasms, and so, so small in comparison to his muscular form.
"well are you going to fuck me again and breed me, or just stare at me?"
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devotion-disorder · 3 months ago
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Hi Devo! If it's okay to call you that, I just wanted to say I'm a big big fan of your work and you made me fall in love with your silly doodles and masterpieces. First time sending in an ask considering how long I've been following you but I've gathered to courage to write my little love letter to you. I just wanted to ask how you color/render and how you study art? I love how your colors flow seamlessly into one another, and how your art just tickles my brain.
Anyways! Kuuya is so boyfailure and I love him but Asa. OH MY GOD ASA.
I want him so bad it's uncanny. His ears are so cute I just want to bite them. I want to unlock new things inside him. I want to do things to him. Literally all your submissive and breedable ocs will make me drool like a dog. Kuuya was my first love but Asa will be my last. I will kidnap him, carry him bridal style while he's in a wedding dress, and then kiss him silly. He will work at home and will make silly little things for the bedroom /hj.
(我想要对他做一些难以启齿的事情。我希望他属于我,让他崇拜我。我真想揪他的头发,让他发牢骚。他是我可爱的狗。)
Thank you so much for all the kind words...!! here's a wedding dress asa for all your troubles
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putting the art questions under the cut!
I've addressed a little bit on giving out advice for coloring here, and tbh im surprised you think my colors flow together well because i pick my colors pretty haphazardly LOL but generally speaking, nowadays my usual line of thinking is “how do i express [a certain shade of color] without using that exact shade of color”. Like if im coloring an apple then im thinking about all the colors except red that i can be using.
as for studying art, sometimes id straight up copy and paste other artists’ work into csp myself and re-trace anatomy/ action lines over it, colorpick it etc etc to really get a feel for their techniques. of course, this is all kept to myself privately. sometimes i also draw things specifically with the goal of emulating said techniques, like “for this piece im going to draw clothing folds like how X artist does it” etc
akjdfjksjsjd i hope all that makes sense / is useful! thank u for likin my stuff 🥺
p.s. i can read chinese and your little passage has not moved me in the slightest /lh
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allisonlol · 4 months ago
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holy shit,, you’re back !! i’ve been following your blog for ab two yrs now ! hope you’re doing well 💞💕
any thoughts on jouno n tecchou w a gf that’s painfully submissive in bed? (totally not projecting btw)
a/n: two years?!! omfg thank u for the support over all this time :0 !! i love this req and uhh i totally don't relate in any way
warnings: nsfw, fem reader, sexual content
(Tecchou, Jouno) With a Submissive Gf
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Tecchou
he is a sweetheart...omg
tecchou gives off soft dom vibes so you being very submissive just works perfectly!!
he's not too controlling in bed and just wants to do what ur comfortable with
and even tho you're the submissive one he still ends up asking what u want him to do to you 😭
^dropping it in here that the man loves to eat pussy !! and he's SO GOOD AT IT
like to the point that he'll be begging you to let him do it...and ofc you'll be saying yes
tecchou is more a giver than a receiver but since ur so submissive you let him do basically whatever he wants
he's such a soft lover tho that he's always still so gentle with u even when he's in control 🥹
tecchou's fav position is def the missionary / mating press type deal bc he likes holding you down
^and ofc u enjoy this bc u get to look at him the whole time...like aaaah he's so pretty!!!
Jouno
perfect match tbh cuz he's very dominant
you're so obedient for him and he definitely exploits the hell out of it
imo jouno is kinda selfish in bed (not always but often) and enjoys taunting you and making u watch him get off but not urself
^he loves making you beg, and ur just so pliant for him that you'll practically be crying while pleading with him to let u cum
jouno may be harsh at first but he rewards u for being so well behaved
^you'll end up cumming like 3 times and will be absolutely exhausted by the end of it 😭
he's also very demanding and throws u around in all sorts of positions
his actions are cruel but his words are NOT!! jouno praises u and calls u all sorts of endearing names since ur so submissive and good for him 🥰
oh and this man luvvvvs bondage...tying u up and having u completely at his will?? yes ma'am!!
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castieltrash1 · 5 months ago
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hiii since you're taking got requests and i saw sandor is one of your faves: there's this post that's like "submissive like a guard dog is submissive" (i hope this makes sense even if you don't know what i'm talking about) and it always makes me think of him bc he's. you know. the hound. so what i'm saying is anything sandor-related with a dom reader would be very appreciated since i've never really seen anyone write him like this before :] if that's not your thing, that's totally fine though !
oh dw anon u came to the right place <3
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sandor clegane x gn!reader; smut, dom/sub dynamics, dog motif, the hound is ur beaten and battered guard dog <3 mentions of violence, strong language, etc.
it doesn’t matter how you meet. maybe he serves your family. maybe he’s kidnapped you. maybe you’re just some lowborn whore whose face he pushes into the mattress to avoid looking at when he’s fucking out his anger. at some point, regardless of the roots of your relationship, the hound begins to heel. it’s not always obvious -- especially if you’re not some little lady/lord he’d be beheaded for lifting a finger to -- but it’s there. he’s already spent most of his life like this, and being with you is no different. you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
once he (somewhat) lets you in, the dynamic shifts. you’re not just his liege, his captive, the prettiest face at littlefinger’s silk street brothel -- you’re his. and that makes him yours, he thinks. it means taking care of you, giving you as much comfort and safety that he can offer in this hellish life. it’s the least you deserve for picking him, since now he’ll never let you leave. you’ve resigned yourself to a cruel, cold, and crass beast; who cares if he has to behead a man or two to keep you fed or hold an entire inn hostage just so you can sleep on a featherbed for the night? he’ll never say please or thank you, but he’ll always stand in front of you. he’ll always lean against the door in case someone tries to break in.
he’s not gentle. he’ll growl when you tug his hair, a makeshift collar threaded between your fingers, urging him between your legs or bringing him back up to your mouth. he’ll bark about breaking you in, splitting you in half, vulgar words foaming at his mouth the longer it goes on. and when you lock eyes with him, he’ll always crumble under the weight of your gaze, lowering his head in some twisted form of obedience. he’ll eat out of your palm and you’ll know there are mutts in volantis better fed than him.
“sandor?”
you could hear the resulting sigh from a mile away, the sound of his armor clanking as he heeds your call. when your eyes lock on his figure, he rolls his shoulders back, masking the way he bows his head as if it were nothing more than loosening a crick in his neck. it’s hard to tell when he’s blushing, but you swear there’s a hint of flush blooming down his neck. you think if you asked him to kneel right now, he might even do it.
“i’m hungry,” you say instead, making your way toward him with a small, knowing smile. “let’s go eat.”
+ you’d be better off never mentioning it, but the similarities between sandor and your average dog aren’t too far off. he sleeps like one, always either curled into a ball or sprawled halfway out of bed; huffing and kicking with night terrors. he slurps out of bowls and licks his plates clean. he’s good at sniffing out enemies, even better at finding their scent on you, teeth bared as he asks where you’ve been and who with. he loves being pet and, if you catch him in a good mood, he'll sometimes nuzzle against your hand. and when he’s got you on all fours, clawing at the sheets or floor while you scream his name, it’s not hard to see he's always been more animal than man.
game of thrones weekend (reqs open!)
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sssilverstoned · 1 year ago
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reminiscing ꩜ ln4
type: instagram/twitter au
Fans suffer days leading to love's holiday without their favorite couple.
lily said: hi! my first fic here, my first social media au ever, hope u enjoy :) will be a part 2 and 3..maybe more as well. whatever my heart desires and such
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call her daddy podcast, 2/6/23
alex cooper and special guest: y/n l/n
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y/n l/n: my friends keep trying to get me on dates, but i don't know, i'm just too much of a homebody right now. trying my best, but i'm rusty.
alex cooper: right, and i totally don't want to bring it up, if you don't want it out, but...
y/n l/n: no, it's totally fine. and yes, i'm single. it's one of those things i figured people will start to pick up on, it's kinda how life like this goes.
alex cooper: like a microscope on your relationship?
y/n l/n: exactly. made stuff super stressful, especially since we started dating when we were 19.
alex cooper: shit, 5 years is longer than i thought!
y/n l/n: we grew up together, had so many highlights and growing pains, and i don't want to get on your show and wallow or pout, that's really not what i feel. and i hope no one thinks anyone did anything wrong, it's just a growth thing. some people, as they grow, grow differently. and apart, i guess.
alex cooper: but you still have love for each other, i know that for sure.
y/n l/n: i'll never ever lose that love, i don't think.
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Liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, and 1,264,997 others
landonorris Quite a birthday today! Another year around the sun, another year of me kissing your face. Love you the most.
user1 yassss OUR girlfriend!
yourusername To the moon and back baby!!!!
yourusername Not pictured: his slobber on my cheek
landonorris You quite like my slobber, no? oscarpiastri I surely don't
user2: you two really are growing up together :')
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Liked by zendaya, kendalljenner, and 1,754,132 others
yourusername Sweet boy took me for a picnic, had too much wine hahaha. Thank you all for the birthday wishes, my heart is singing!!!! 23, woah am I close to getting old?
user1 SWEET BOY oh you people are sick
landonorris The most stunning girl, even napping
landonorris and yes you're old now user2 CORNYYYY (i'm ready to end it all) user3 "you're old now" and what are you??
emrata Wine's always a good idea
bellahadid happy birthday baby! come visit soon
user4 does that say lando on her necklace . i'm gonna snap soon
sza Loveeeee. U my favorite, Happy Solar Return!
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Liked by alpinegoss, paddocktea, and 16,821 others
f1gossipcentral submission from a fan today in monaco:
i met lando today with a few others, he was so nice! we didn't want to ask flat out about y/n, he actually brought her up in passing when someone mentioned being from the same hometown as her, and he pointed it out himself. he didn't have the same energy we're used to when speaking about her, but it's obvious there was love in his voice, a lot of it. he's still got her friendship bracelet she made him last year on, but i think it's the type you'd have to cut to get off. regardless, i hope the best for him, and her too.
user1 you're telling me just the name of her hometown and he BLURTS about her?? AFTER being broken up??? yeah we're never seeing pearly gates atp
user2 is this what a broken home feels like?
user3 SHATTERED home. and yes. user4 y/n lando please. come home the kids miss you
user5: single y/n...don't hate me but i would love a baddie era
user6: oh this is not a safe space for you.
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bratbby333 · 8 months ago
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Why do I think like gamer bf Sukuna likes to play like this lmao https://images.app.goo.gl/EQwpjhL4crMRCDYK7
(Hope the link will work 🙏🏻)
the way i started giggling n kicking my feet when i clicked the link oh my GOODNESS he so would😮‍💨
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i was immediately sent into my mind palace and couldn’t stop thinking abt it so here’s more gamer!boyfie kuna hc’s in reference to the pic 💞
nsfw mdni
instead of him hitting the sofa when he got mad he’d slap ur ass
every smack would make you fucking soaked n you’d whimper and whine and buck your hips away from him n he’d just chuckle, “be still n take it, brat.” and ughjwkekwkw yes sir.
the sight of your cheeks getting redder n redder, his hand print becoming more visible as time went on…the way ur pussy would be dripping…omg it would make him rock fucking hard (bro’s a sadist trust)
and if he’s reaaallyy horny but doesn’t wanna stop playing he’d have you sit like this with no panties on n he’d munch between each round, maybe even during the game cause he’s just built dif
he’d most def start fingering you while he’s on discord w his friends and if you made a sound he’d stop
but sometimes he’d get real bold n turn his mic sensitivity up so his friends could hear how good he makes you feel
cause you can’t tell me sukuna isn’t a fuckin exhibitionist
and!! and!! every time his controller would vibrate he’d press it against ur clit uGH he’d love teasing you like that 🤭🤭 it would be so sporadic n unexpected but he’d press it so firmly against you n your back would arch so deeply and he’d run it between your slit n then lick ur juices off the controller oooohhhh my fucking godddd
when he sees how fucking needy you are for him after all that teasing, the way you’re begging him for more, he’d shift you lower in his lap and lean back a bit so you can bounce on his cock while he plays ugh
sweet jesus i need him so fucking bad
thank u my sweet anon for this beautiful submission 😩💞 i apologize for getting carried away
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