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gemini-magic17 · 8 months

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Entanglement Chapter Thirteen

**One Week Later

There is a week left before the wedding and I have been avoiding Kit at all costs. She tries to speak to me but every time I see her my mind just goes back to us in the library and how she left me there alone. I have considered forgiving her in order for our union to work but there is that small part of me that is saying she isn't worth forgiving.

All of this shit was giving me a headache and it just kept getting worse. The fact that I was taking a walk outside while it was extremely hot did not help with that at all. I turned back towards the castle and was met with the face of my brother.

"Hey, sis", he said ruffling my hair. I shoo his hand away being annoyed by the gesture he would do just as he did when we were children.

"How many times have I told you to not do that? We aren't nine anymore", I said cutting my eyes at him.

"I know its just fun to bug you", he laughed and I gave him a death stare really not in the mood for his antics today.

"What do you want James"?

"Damn what's got you in a bad mood", he questioned.

"I have a headache is all and I was headed back to the castle to go lay down."

"Sorry, I just wanted to talk to you about Kit", as soon as he said her name I wanted to get the hell out of there.

"I am really not feeling well can we do this another time please", I brushed past him before he gently took my arm into his hand.

"I think it is best we talk about this now. I know something happened between the two of you and for the past week you have been avoiding her like the plague", he said. I pulled my arm away from his grip and urged him to walk forward so we could talk on our way back.

"I won't go into too much detail but if you must know we did have a falling out", that was an understatement and James gave me that look where he knew I was hiding something.

"You are leaving something out and I want to know what you two were fighting about", he demanded.

"Listen, I know that you are concerned about me but for once can you stop being the overprotective big brother and butt out", I said and walked inside leaving a seething James alone with his thoughts.

I speed walk down the hall with wandering eyes following my every move. It was only then that I noticed Ser Easton following me and with him in tow was Willow. I changed direction heading for the place I definitely did not want to be at. I pushed open the library doors and right on my tail were the two individuals.

"May I ask why I am being tailed by the two of you", I asked.

"We did not mean for it to appear that way Princess but this man said he was a friend of yours and told me he needed to give you something", Ser Easton stated.

"Ser Easton how do you know this man who claims to be my friend is who he says he is", I questioned.

"That thought had crossed my mind Princess, but it wasn't until he showed me a certain book that it confirmed that what he was saying was indeed true", he said hinting at our previous conversation

"Oh", I said feeling completely dumb. I turned to Willow and greeted him.

"Hi, what brings you all the way here", I asked him.

"Well, Y/n I wanted to bring you this", he pulled out a dusty old leather book from his satchel and handed it to me.

"Oh, will you look at that another book", I said jokingly. Willow laughed at my remark and went on to explain.

"This book is about the great war and the dragons that were apart of it", he said.

"From my understanding, I thought there wasn't supposed to be any record of this and now to find that there are not two but three books on the topic is starting to make me question that fact."

"I only have this book because a friend of mine had a particular interest in the history of ancient times. This book just happened to be in their collection which I just so happened to borrow", he said.

"You know Willow from the sound of that it seems that you stole the book rather than borrowed it", Ser Easton raised his eyebrows.

"You say potato I say potato", he waved off Ser Easton's comment.

"Isn't your friend going to be looking for this", I asked.

"No, he has hundreds of books and this is just one of the many that he will not notice is missing."

"So you did steal the book off him", Ser Easton said. Willow turned to him and told him, "Yes I took the book off him. Are you satisfied now"? Ser Easton gave him a smirk and from Willow's face it obviously irked him.

"Can we get back to the subject at hand please", I asked. They both turned to me ending their funny little banter. I opened the book and flipped through the pages until I landed on one that detailed the dragons that were used by the different rulers. My eyes read over the first section and it discussed the dragon used by King Samuel.

Tyrax: A blood-red dragon with a long neck that allows for maximum damage. Its agility couldn't compare to any other dragons which was an advantage when it came to war. King Samuel dominated the battlefield with Tyrax and many of those who went up against them were turned into ash.

Reading the rest of the page I see countless names of dragons and the way they died.

Galic: An orange-colored dragon known for its ruthlessness on the battlefield was used by King Wilson to destroy his enemies. Showing no mercy Galic burned cities to the ground killing hundreds of people. It all came to an end when Calyx known as the winged demon killed Galic by biting its head off.

"Willow, why does it describe how Galic and some of the other dragons perished but not the rest like Tyrax", I asked.

"It's because there is no record of Tyrax's death or some of the other dragons that are listed", he said.

"Wait, so you're saying that Tyrax and the dragons that don't have any mention of their death could be alive? Is that even possible after so long", Ser Easton asked him.

"You have seen Calyx Y/n and dragons can live for hundreds possibly thousands of years", Willow said. I looked back at the book and saw a picture of what seemed to be the dragon known as Aeras, a grassy green dragon that had no mention of their death. The detailing of the picture resembled the likeness of Calyx. I swear you wouldn't know the difference if they didn't have different color scales.

"Can I keep this", I asked Willow.

"Of course, as I figured it belongs to you", he smiled.

"Thank you."

"I better be on my way I so much to do in such little time before your wedding", he said.

"You're coming to the wedding next week", I asked.

"Yes, I hope that it is alright Kit invited me", he said.

"Of course, I would love for you to be there. The more the merrier", I smiled and bid Willow goodbye. Ser Easton walked him out and I made my way to my chambers.

**James' POV

I should have known I wasn't going to get anything out of her. Once she gets angry she shuts down and doesn't want to talk to anyone about anything. If she didn't want to tell me what happened I'll just go straight to the source and find out for myself. I searched high and low for this girl and I couldn't find her. The last place I could look was the clearing by the woods. It took about ten minutes to get there but it was worth it. There she sat her head resting on her hand seeming to be deep in thought.

"Hey, Jade I need a word with you", as those words came out she jumped up and she looked at me with disgust.

"What do you want I have no interest talking to you", she said.

"Well, I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter. I want to know why Y/n was in tears a week ago fighting with Kit and your name was mentioned", I stated.

"How the hell should I know", I could see that she was deflecting.

"I know you know what happened between them and you are going to tell me right now", I said getting into her face. She was hesitant at first but she the words ended up spilling out of her.

"A week ago Kit made out with Y/n in the library and I saw it. Kit ended up following me after what happened and I'm guessing that is what the fight was about", she said with hatred in her voice. At that moment I wanted to scream and throw something anything because the level of anger I was feeling right now was through the roof.

"Is that it or did you want something else my prince", she said sarcastically. I turned to her and looked directly into her eyes and said this.

"Let me tell you what's about to happen. You are going to stay away from Y/n and in turn, Kit because whenever you two are together my sister is the one who always ends up hurt. Do you understand"?

"Don't you worry your pretty little head because the day after the wedding I'll be gone and you won't have to deal with me anymore", she said.

"What do you mean", I was intrigued by what she just said. Knowing that she wasn't going to be around for much longer made me ecstatic.

"Queen Sorsha is making me a knight and in order to do that I will be going away to do that."

"Well that's good to know", I said trying to sound condescending, and with that, she walked off. I was left there feeling satisfied by our little interaction and the results that came of it. Now I just have to let everything fall into place and it will go smoothly. Jade will be out of the way, Y/n won't be heartbroken, and Kit can be punished for what she did.

**Time Skip: Kit's POV (A couple of days before the wedding)

Having both Y/n and Jade avoiding me is starting to piss me the fuck off. I know that I screwed up and I have tried to apologize countless times but they never want to speak to me. Jade won't talk to me no matter what I do so I set my sights on Y/n. Having enough of this shit and with us to be married in a couple of days we need to hash this out. Around this time of day, she would be with her parents discussing arrangements for the wedding. I searched all over the castle and to my surprise I found Y/n's parents but she wasn't in sight.

"Excuse me, King Aiden and Queen Raina I wanted to know if you have seen Y/n", I asked.

"She just left we were going over small things before the wedding", Queen Raina said.

"Do you know where she was going when she left"?

"Ser Easton and her were heading to the training yard ", Y/n's father said.

"Okay, thank you", I said goodbye and went on my way.

I arrived at the training yard and there she was standing next to Ser Easton talking about something trivial. I carefully approached her and tapped her shoulder. She spun around and her h/c hair almost smacked me in the face. As she turned the smile that was on her face slowly disappeared which was replaced with a frown.

"What do you want Kit", she said with little to no emotion.

"I wanted to talk to you. Y/n you have been avoiding me and we need to hash this out."

"Really because I don't see anything to hash out it is clear about how you feel about me so what else is there left to say", she said and I turned to Ser Easton pleading that he could give us some space. He looked Y/n then back to me and slowly walked away but not too far that we were out of his sight.

"I have apologized over and over again and you won't forgive me."

"You expect me to forgive you after that. If you were in my position would you be so forgiving", she asked. I went quiet knowing that what she had said was the truth. If I were in her position I would feel the same way she does.

"Your right I would be the same way you are right now if I was put into this situation. I am reaching out to you though and I'm trying to tell you that I am going to do the best I can to make this up to you. Please forgive me I never meant to hurt you and if I could I would take back leaving you in that library all alone. I'm so sorry", I pleaded holding onto her hands for dear life. Her reaction was painfully slow and what she said next changed everything.

"If you are really that sorry I will forgive but I don't think I could trust you for a very long time. Once you break my trust it is hard to get back", she said and pulled away from my grasp.

"Then I will do everything I can to gain it back even if it takes the rest of our lives", I stated taking her face into my hands and touching her forehead with mine.

#kit tanthalos x reader #hazel callahan x reader

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issybettyx · 1 year

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QSMP SCHOOL AU EXCEPT MAXO IS THE TEACHER BECAUSE I SAID SO

Hey so i just love the fact that Phil told Chayanne those bedtime stories about the potato war and went ‘i could make an au out of this’, so I present this!!!! It’s basically just the eggs being amazing!!!!

Enjoy!! :D

———

“As you all know, this morning we are doing mostrar y compartir,” Señor Maxo starts, looking over all his full class of young students with the smallest smile on his face. “I made sure at the door that all parents brought you something to show, so who wants to go first?”

Dapper, a kid who prefers his top hats over learning his two times tables, throws his hand up first, a bright grin on his face that contrasts his deep black skin, akin to his father’s. As smart as a kid he can be, he never really focused on his learning, much preferring to doodle animals on the corners of his pages than to listen to what his teacher had to say.

“Dapper, come to the front.” Maxo welcomed nonetheless, beckoning him forwards. It wasn’t a shock when the boy lifted a cardboard box, skipping down the isle as he kept the box steady.

“It was very hard to decide who to bring in today,” he started, too happy to settle anyone’s nerves, “But papa helped me, and so I present,” he lifted the lid, the box folding with it apart from the bottom, which was being supported by only the palm of his hand. There sat a frog, it’s black eyes void of any thought as it shimmered in the classroom light. “Yesenia!”

There was a yelp from the back of the class, and then a crash following it, Juana’s glasses falling off of her face in her shock. On the contrary, Tallulah, whose seat was by the teacher’s desk at the front, leaned closer, wonder written into her eyes as anything but foreign as she watched Yesenia waddle across the cardboard.

“Yesenia is a blue poison dart frog,” when Tallulah reached her hand out, Dapper had no choice but to slap it away, ignoring the pout on her face to continue his explanation, “Don’t touch her, you could die, or become a potato, do you want to be a potato Tallulah?”

“I’m good, but Chayanne would love to be a potato!” She supplied easily, smiling at her brother who could only glare at her, a silent wish for her to quieten their strange secrets.

“Okay,” Maxo finally cuts in, ushering Dapper back to his seat, “I think that’s enough death talk por un día, whose next?”

Chayanne slowly raised his hand, clear hesitance in his movement but clear determination in his sparkling blue eyes. The kid had always been a wonder to Maxo; he knew the boy inherited his skull-like features from his Dad Missa, a man constantly around the globe for work. His other features, like his golden locks and diamond irises came from his other Dad, Philza, a renowned soldier known for his lack of mortality.

“Chayanne, you don’t have something to show?” The teacher noted as the boy made his way to the front of the class, eyes not moving from where Tallulah and Richarlyson sat close together, the former clapping her hands quietly and the latter giving him a silent whistle.

“No, I uh- I have a story, that my papa Phil taught me.” He replied, his words becoming more confident the longer he spoke. All Maxo could do was nod, encourage him to continue and hope Leo didn’t fall more asleep than they already had. “So, you know how we live on this massive ass potato farm?” There was a chorus of yes’s that spread across the room, and somehow this only enhanced the boy’s confidence. “Well, the farm is a legacy of sorts, created to commemorate one of my Dad’s best friends- Technoblade, is what he told me he was called.”

“Weird name.” Rámon mumbled, and Chayanne gave him the smallest smile, deciding against commenting.

“A few years ago he decided he wanted to break the record for the most potatoes farmed by one man ever.” He started, pacing the front of the classroom with his hands dug deep into his hoodie pockets. “Of course, it’s quite a task, and he had an opponent named Squid, who’d set the record and was continuing to set the record every minute.”

“So he never stopped farming?” Pomme interrupted, arm half raised as she smiled, and Chayanne nodded.

“This man was committed to farming these potatoes, but no one’s dedication could beat Technoblade’s.” It was simply the admiration and amazement in Chayanne’s voice that made Maxo want to listen, and it was clear the kids agreed, with Leo’s head no longer resting on the table and Tilin’s blinking eyes looking directly at the front for once, their hands dancing in front of her to keep himself occupied. “Within just a few months, with a few magical secrets I’ve been told I’m not allowed to talk about, Technoblade broke the record for the most potatoes farmed.”

The smile fell from the boy’s face, and everyone waited with baited breath for the end of his story, naive hope it would end there and then.

“But, um,” Chayanne looked over at Tallulah, who gave him a small nod and that wonderful smile of hers, and the dedication blossomed once more. “But sadly he passed away, and so we live his legacy on, and we donate all produce to charity because papa says that’s what Technoblade would’ve wanted.”

Without needing to be told, Chayanne made his way back to his seat, Rámon not-so-subtly nudging him as a way of saying ‘good job’, and the boy could only supply a small smile, nudging him back.

The rest of the day moved smoothly, with Tallulah’s flower from her garden, Trumpet’s new vinyl player, and Leo’s 3D printed dragon, everyone seemed weirdly content.

Maxo only got a chance to ask Chayanne his question at the end of the day.

Philza was picking him up that day, Maxo could spot that man’s pitch-black wings from forever away, so he knew he had to be quick before the man threw hands.

“Hey, Chayanne, could I talk to you for a second?” He asked as all the kids were walking out, bags in hand as they chatted amongst themselves. Tallulah paused too, turning to face the teacher with confusion in her dark brown eyes, brown hair falling over her face but being mostly contained in a dirty red beanie too similar to her Dad’s. The boy hummed, walking to his desk without question, leaving his twin to linger by the door. “Why did you decide to talk about Technoblade?”

The question was innocent, a want to understand the reasons behind the kid’s thought-out choices, but it didn’t stop the prior hesitation from returning.

“He-“ Chayanne started, before he squeezed his eyes shut, hands pulled into tight fists as he took a deep breath. “He showed strength when it was hardest to.” The boy decided on, eyes out of the window as he thought his words through. “I just want to be as strong as him one day, and I have no doubt the others will want to be too.”

Maxo could only manage a nod and a smile, motioning to the door with his chin.

“You best be going before your papa comes to stab me with that enchanted sword I know he has.” The teacher advised, and Chayanne could only scoff, walking out of the room before he had a chance to say anything else. Like before, Tallulah hovered, thinking it through before speaking.

“Have a buena tarde señor!” She eventually told him, before running after her brother, her long skirt flowing behind her in her haste.

It was for days like those that Maxo became a teacher.

And, sometimes, it was nice to know that the kids could still teach you some things, no matter how much smarter you are.

———

Phil: the things technoblade did were lowkey witch craft so uh dont tell them about the rabbit and the crystals yknow?

Chay: dont worry sir i got this in the bag o7

I can just imagine Chayanne giving an entire powerpoint presentation on Technoblade and the entire qsmp egg population watching with utter amazement

#mcytblr #qsmp chayanne #qsmp maxo #qsmp tallulah #qsmp dapper #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp trumpet #qsmp juanaflippa #qsmp ramon #español #qsmp #quackity smp #qsmp eggs #qsmp philza

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hereforreadandwrite · 1 year

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Prologue

Masterlist

Blood.

There was blood everywhere.

The floor, the walls, the ceiling, the furniture, everything was covered in your parents' blood. You could only helplessly witness the macabre scene unfolding before your eyes. Your father was lying on the floor, the back of his head was sunken, his left eye was literally sticking out of its socket, your poor mother was being beaten up, the mad man was screaming incomprehensible words. You closed your eyes, covering your ears as you begged the gods for someone to help you. You couldn't prevent a little cry of terror from escaping your lips when you heard the man turn over the whole house, destroying the furniture and objects that came to hand. The man kept breaking everything and knocking it over. He seemed to be searching for something. What was he looking for? You stayed hidden in the closet, waiting for the crazy man to give up and decide to leave. You stayed in the closet until sunrise.

You woke up with a start when you heard someone banging on your bedroom door. You heard Randvi's muffled voice, telling you that it was time for you to get up and that Eivor was back before returning to his activities. You had no choice but to leave your warm bed to get dressed for this new day. You put on your warmest clothes before leaving your room to greet your adoptive father, King Styrbjorn, but when you arrive in the hall, you surprise him chatting with Guthorm The Wise. This man was the sage and uncle of King Harald. What was he doing here?

"Sister."

You turned to Eivor, the Drengr was smiling at you and wasted no time in hugging you. Your smile quickly faded seeing his coquard and his split lip. He patted your shoulder, letting you know he was fine. Guthorm The Wise left the longhouse, passing you and Eivor.

"Eivor, come forward. And explain in plain words why you have willfully disobeyed my commands," Styrbjorn ordered as he sat down on his throne. "Do you mock me?"

"I do not mock you, king. I mean to embolden you… Against your enemies. And your own poor judgment," Eivor replied nonchalantly.

"You know nothing af my judgment. You know nothing of my plans and strategies."

"Sigurd and (Y/N) would agree with me."

"I am," you say, glaring at Styrbjorn.

"(Y/N) silence! My son might agree with you, but he would obey me. He knows his place."

"Not as well as he knows his father."

"Imagine you are harassed by an enemy with warriors that vastly outnumber you own. What profit does open war bring?" asked the king, eyeing his adopted son. "Would it no be better to work quietly, through diplomacy, gaining alliances? Waiting until the day our numbers outweigh our enemies' and our victory is guaranteed?"

"Do we have any allies to speak of? Or is that your excuse to do nothing?" Eivor asked, clenching his fists.

"You confidence blinds you to so much in plain sight, Eivor," King Styrbjorn said, rising from his seat. "Day and night I toil to forge ties with clans to the north. Very soon you will see the fruits of my efforts. Only then will you understand."

You rolled your eyes when you heard that. It sounded like a stupid excuse to avoid fighting. Your adoptive father's behavior was suspicious. Why had he invited Guthorm here? This man's nephew was a king. What does he intend to do with a king from another land? You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard the bugle sound. What was happening? Randvi quickly entered the longhouse, announcing Sigurd's boat had arrived at the docks. After two years of absence, he was finally back. You didn't have time to head for the door when Eivor lifted you off the ground, throwing you on his shoulder and starting to run towards the docks. Some people gave you a puzzled or stern look when they saw the king's adopted son running towards the docks with you, perched on his shoulder, like a vulgar potato sack. Sigurd was doing the same with you. It was a habit your brothers had picked up. As soon as they wanted to show you something or run away, they would throw you over their shoulder. Their excuse?

"You are light as a feather, sister."

"We're going to have to make you eat more."

Wolf-Kissed set you free once you got to the dock. You glared at him as your foster brother kissed your cheek apologetically. You just rolled your eyes when your attention fell on Sigurd's boat. He was unloading the treasures and memories he had brought back from his trip around the world. You were approaching the ship when you saw two people dressed in white clothes. Who were his men? Why had Sigurd brought them here? You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard Sigurd calling you and Eivor. Your brother hurried down from his ship, nudging one of his men, who had had the misfortune to get in his way, to hug Eivor.

"Oh, look at you, blood-soaked drengr. Have you been warring without me?"

"Ah, and you, salt-cured vikingr. I smell the stink of a kingdoms in your beard," Eivor replied, returning the hug to his adopted brother.

"It's just the start," Sigurd replied letting go of Eivor to turn to you. "Eivor, who is this sublime woman?"

"I told you he took too many blows to the head," you said, glaring at Eivor who was watching you having fun.

"It can't be you (Y/N). You were just a little girl when I left."

"A lot of things change in two winters," Eivor commented as he put his arm around your shoulders. "Isn't it, sister?"

"Unfortunately," you said pulling Eivor's arm away to hug Sigurd. "Welcome back, Sigurd."

Sigurd let go of you to greet Randvi, his dearest wife, telling her that her husband had returned with gifts and riches. Randvi added that he also brought new friends with him. Sigurd turned to the men in question who were approaching. Your brother introduced them: Basil and Hytham. They had met them at Mikligard. The so-called Basim spoke up, saying that he and his apprentice were grateful to Sigurd for his invitation and were eager to pay their respects to the king. Eivor explained that his brother took care of the people around him, if they were standing and safe near him, that must mean he liked them. Sigurd laughed, telling his brother to wait until they were full for introductions. He put his arm around Eivor and Randvi's shoulders. The Wolf-Kissed put his arm around your shoulders, taking you with them. Sigurd wasted no time in saying that they had bartered a ship and told them that Eivor, the Wolf-Kissed, had been captured by Kjotve's men. To which Eivor replied that that wasn't the whole story, he explained that he killed his guardians and freed his crew. Which earned him the reproaches of King Styrbjorn. Sigurd knew his brother's opinion: only war can drive Kjotve from their lands. You nodded, telling Sigurd that you had overheard his father talking with Guthorm The Wise. Your adopted brother looked at you surprised by what you had just said. He nodded slightly, saying that things were going to change today, that by the end of winter, only goons and drunks would still utter the name Kjotve the Cruel. The group arrived at the longhouse, Styrbjorn coming out to welcome his son with open arms.

"My son. Welcome home," he said, hugging Sigurd.

"Ah, Father."

"Tonight we feast and celebrate your return, Sigurd. The tables are laid with barley and lamb, bread and mead-"

"And no more," Sigurd cut in. "I want nothing you would not serve a thrall. Let me be the one to honor you. I bring gifts and tales from faraway lands. After two winters away, I am full up with both."

"Very well, very well. Come inside," Styrbjorn prompted as he walked towards the door of the longhouse.

"And when are fat and satisfied, Father, we will talk of Kjotve and his clan," Sigurd said, causing his father to stop. "And how we may end their terror, once and for all. He has dogged us too long. Shamed us for too many seasons. I know this. (Y/N) knows this. Eivor knows this. It ends now."

Styrbjorn looked sternly at his son following this tirade.

"Yes, of course," he replied, rolling his eyes. "Where the time is right."

You rolled your eyes, this guy had no sense of priorities. You decide to go back to your room, you hated this kind of gathering. Sigurd and Eivor knew it, they never forced you to participate in their events. You knew that Sigurd would take the time to tell you all about the adventure he had during his two winters. You traded your skills for the tunic you stole from Eivor. A sigh escaped your lips as you settled down at your desk, starting to write in your diary, describing your dreams, the course of your day, Sigurd's return, and the fact that King Styrbjorn was up to something. . You put down your quill, pinching the bridge of your nose. You were tired of Norway and this adoptive father who did nothing to ensure the safety of his family. It was his fault that Kjotve had attacked eighteen years ago. It was also his fault if your family… No, you shouldn't have thought about that. You shook your head pushing his thoughts out of your mind. You didn't have to think about that night anymore, you had to forget. You closed your diary, deciding it was time for you to go to bed. You put out the candles and got into bed for the night. The music and the voices were muffled by the walls and the door, but strangely, it reassured you. You fell asleep, exhausted by this eventful day.

"His parents didn't survive. He slaughtered them," Varin said as he tossed the last rags into the fire. "Oddmund and Alvheid are unrecognizable. Their daughter saw it all, my King. She saw her parents being slaughtered!"

"Have you found this man?" asked Styrbjorn.

"No, he managed to escape. We're still looking for him."

You were sitting on the edge of Eivor's bed, staring at a fixed point. Why did such a thing have to happen? Why did your parents have to die this way? Because of the mad man, your parents couldn't join Valhalla. Why did this man decide to kill your parents?

"(Y/N), you're hungry?" Eivor asked as he entered the room with a bowl of stew. "Mother made stew with deer meat."

"I'm not hungry," you say, lowering your head.

Eivor came to sit next to you, holding the bowl on his lap. The boy didn't know what to tell you. Your parents were given a funeral worthy of a Viking. Rosta tried to reassure you, telling you that Odin will undoubtedly have accepted your parents in Valhalla despite their death. You knew it was impossible. They had not had their ax in their hand. But there was one thing you couldn't understand.

"Why did they die? Why did the guy decide to kill them? Why?"

"I don't know," Eivor replied. "Father and some other men are looking for him. He can't be far away and he's going to pay for what he did!"

You turned to Eivor, your friend smiling at you as he handed you the bowl of stew. You picked up the bowl, starting to eat a few spoonfuls. Eivor reassured you, saying that he had overheard a conversation between his parents who had discussed adopting you.

Your dream dissipated in a black mist, your eyelids opened when you heard someone knocking at your door. You sat down, letting the covers fall over your lap. You left your warm bed to go about your routine, swapping your tunic for your warmest clothes before leaving your room to find Randvi. You were surprised to find that Eivor and Sigurd were absent.

"Where are Eivor and Sigurd?" you asked taking bread.

"They've gone to Nottfall. Kjotve sent men to kill us while we slept. Eivor is to take care of them. Now his head will fall off," she said, smiling at you.

"Finally, we're going to be freed from a burden," you say, giving the king a stern look. "

It took until Sigurd's return for things to finally move. Kjotve had been a problem for too long. Once rid of him, Scandinavia will be better off. You noticed that King Styrbjorn seemed nervous. You decided to ignore him, preferring to focus on your day. You went to the stables to take care of your horse: Dǫglingr. This horse was one of a kind. He was a wild horse that many men tried to ride him, but each time he reared, knocking out those who tried to ride him. You were the only one Dǫglingr allowed to ride him. You loved this horse, you decided to build it Dǫglingr because of its attitude. You put the saddle on his back, prepared his harnesses before mounting him and leaving the village to go to the heights of Sjaleng. You had to talk to the völva. You got along well Valka as well as his mother: Svala. When you were a child, you often went to see Svala and Valka to tell them about your nightmares and tell them about your questions about that night and the mad man. You arrived in front of the cabin, you climbed down from Dǫglingr's back, tying him to a post before going to see your friend. You entered the cabin, finding Valka trying to communicate with the Gods. You saw Svala, sitting on a bench, seeming lost in thought.

"(Y/N). It's been a long time my friend," Valka greeted, stepping closer to you.

"Valka. How is Svala?" you asked, turning your attention to your friend's mother.

"Her mind is a jumbke. She speaks to spirits. I fear her final winter has come. But she has me. Now let us speak to your needs, (Y/N). Why did you come to see me?"

"For the past few days, I've been seeing the day the mad man killed my parents. I'm seeing Varin and Rosta again. I thought it was the stress, King Styrbjorn getting weirder and weirder, the return of Sigurd, The fact that Eivor went to challenge Kjotve, but…I'm afraid his memories are an omen."

"How long has it been since you had his memories?"

"When Sigurd decided to go traveling."

"I see," Valka replied as she walked over to the table. "You have always carried the murder of your parents and those of Eivor on your shoulders. Are you worried that this mad man is coming back?"

"Every night."

"Dreams can say express a lot of things. Your doubts, your fears, your guilt. You had to experience the loss of your parents and Eivor's parents. Maybe his dreams are telling you that it's time for you to fly away from here."

"Fly away?" you asked, laughing a little.

"Yes, I often dream of you, watching a white snowy owl flying in the distance. You seem to be far from Scandinavia. Where you are, there is no snow."

Far from Scandinavia, was that even possible? You had heard that Ragnar and his sons had gone to conquer England, but even if you hated Rygjafylke, were you ready to leave the place where you were born? You thanked Valka for giving you time and for her help. Your friend replied that her door was always open to you if you had any other questions. You saluted Svala, leaving the hut to return to the longhouse. Two days passed before Sigurd returned to tell you the good news, Kjotve the Cruel had just joined the Kingdom of Helheim. You had never been so relieved. Norway was finally rid of a nuisance. Sigurd offered you to come with them to the althing organized by King Harald to celebrate this victory, a proposal you refused. You were going to be able to sleep peacefully tonight. For once, you had a pleasant dream.

You were playing with Eivor and Sigurd building a cairn stone. You laid the pebbles on top of each other, being careful not to topple the tower. You heard Sigurd moan in frustration as he lay down on the floor.

"I've had enough! How can you like that?" Sigurd exclaimed.

"Mother loved doing her tricks," Eivor replied. "She said it gave her time to think."

"Do you want me to help you?" you asked, placing the last pebble on your tower. "I'm done."

"What?"

Sigurd sat up to see your cairn stones which held perfectly in balance. Your brother was sighing loudly as he motioned for you to join him. You went to sit on Sigurd's lap, helping him stack the pebbles on top of each other. Sigurd was surprised to see your patience and dexterity. The cairn he had started was finished in minutes. Eivor approached the pair, watching you build a third cairn stone.

"You're really good, sister," Eivor commented smiling at you.

You dream was brutally interrupted by a knock on your door. You hid your head under your pillow, but Sigurd ordered you out of bed, because he had something important to tell you. You let out an annoyed sigh, leaving your cozy bed to open the door. Unsurprisingly, Sigurd was accompanied by Eivor. The drengr followed his brother like his shadow. You returned to sit on your bed, allowing them to take their place. Given their expression, the King's Althing must not have gone as they would have hoped.

"So? Why are you waking me up so early?" you asked looking out the window. "The Sun hasn't even risen yet."

"Sorry, (Y/N). But we have something important to tell you," Eivor said as he settled down next to you.

"The Althing didn't go well?" you asked, glaring at Eivor.

"King Harald has decided to unite all of Norway, making the whole Kingdom his subjects. My father dared to kneel before him and swear allegiance to him, depriving me of my birthright! I cannot accept!" Sigurd exclaimed, heading for the window.

"What's going to happen? We're going to have to serve the king?" you asked worried.

"No, sister. Sigurd has a plan."

"Yes, we cannot stay in Norway, not under Harald's boot, not without fueling war. So we push forward. To newer lands. To England! And there make a new home. A kingdom of our own."

"England?" you asked perplexed. "That's where Ragnar Lothbrok's sons are. They've been there for eight winters, haven't they? Is there any land left?"

"Yes, by and large, sister. There are four kingdoms in England, last I heard only one is truly pacified. I know you don't like such a sudden change (Y/N). This all can be scary, and it is, but believe me, England is our best option."

"We won't be the only people leaving Norway, sister," Eivor continued. "Randvi, Dag and many others want to leave Fornberg. We will build a new home together."

Leave Fornberg? Leaving your native country for an unknown land? It made you sad, but you refused to be under King Harald's yoke. You didn't want to see Styrbjorn anymore. You remembered Valka's words. Of his dream. You nodded slightly, telling your brothers you were following them to England. Eivor and Sigurd were relieved to hear your response. The future Jarl told you to get ready as soon as possible and to take only the essentials, nothing superfluous. Sigurd was the first to leave the room. Eivor put his hand on your shoulder, telling you he was glad to know you were following them, before leaving the room, leaving you alone. You hurriedly got dressed and took the things you deemed necessary. You took a doll, it was an old toy your brothers gave you for your eighth birthday, and your warmest blankets for traveling. You found the group that was about to go to sea. You found Sigurd and Eivor, the two men were checking the food for the trip. Randvi came to meet you, telling you that she was delighted to know that you were going with them. His gaze rested on your doll: Skuldalið.

"Do you take it with you?" she asked, glaring at you severely.

"Why should I leave Skuldalið in Norway?"

"Don't you think it's time for you to get rid of her? You're a young lady now."

"For you Skuldalið is only a doll, Randvi. But for me, it is an object of great value. She comes with me."

"Leave (Y/N) alone Randvi," Sigurd growled as he moved closer to his wife. "We all have a very valuable item. If (Y/N) wants to take Skuldalið with her, she has every right to do so."

"Brother," Eivor said, nodding towards Styrbjorn who was arriving with two guards.

"Sigurd, what is this assembly? What are you planning?" asks his father, stopping near his son who turns to him.

"An exile, Father. As graceful as I can? For it I cannot be king in the land of my borth, I will start a new saga. In England."

"Nonsense. Your place is here, Son. At my side. There will be other victories soon, other glories."

"My choice is made, Father. Do not hope otherwise," Sigurd replied sternly, turning his back on his father to check the supplies.

"It is easy to lose one's way on the road to glory. Do not let false victories blind you to what is true."

"You talk of false victories to me, old man?" Sigurd asked sarcastically, turning to his father. "A sad old bear who destroyed his honor with one bent knee? The further I sail from this place, the louder I will sing."

Sigurd picked up a crate of supplies, telling you to get into the boat. You followed the others to board the ship, waiting for your brothers to finish their discussion with the former king. Your attention was drawn to Valka. Your friend was near the platform, a slight smile on her lips. You waved your arm, greeting your friend who waved back. You knew it was just goodbye and you would see her again soon. You were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt a hand land on your shoulder. You turned to Eivor and Sigurd.

"Ready to go, sister?" Eivor asked smiling at you.

"Yes," you replied, smiling at him.

"So here we go," Sigurd announced.

"The time for tears is over, you weeping sacks of wool!" Dag shouted to the crew. "Put some muscle into those sweaters!"

"Ration your strength, Dag. We have an ocean to cross," Bragi joked as he started rowing.

"All right, you lazy bacraut. Sigurd, what's our course?" Dag asked, glaring at Sigurd.

"The Sons of Ragnar established a settlement near the coast. We sail for that," the new Jarl explained. "Bragi! Sing a song to lift our hugr!"

"To rouse the Gods! Inspire a mighty fart from Thor to speed us on our way!"

You took your place next to Eivor, draping your fur over your shoulders. It was strange. You would have thought that leaving Norway would have been easy. Since the death of your parents and Eivor's parents, you had always wanted to leave forever this cold country which held bad memories. Yet, in this moment, you saw all your moments with Eivor, Sigurd, Valka and all the others.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" Eivor asked, putting his arm around your shoulders.

"Yes, it's just that… I never thought I would be so sad to leave Norway."

"Norway will always be where it was born. You have the right to be sad," Eivor reassured, hugging you.

"An ocean lies before us, Eivor, (Y/N). And on its far side, a new kingdam awaits."

"You know England well from your travels?" you asked, staring at a puzzled Sigurd.

"I spent a season in then Kingdom of Mercia. A temperate land. Lush and wild. By now, the Sons of Ragnar will have claimed its heart."

"Do we mean to join their army?" asked Eivor equally perplexed.

"They will join ours! In time, all of England will know of Raven Clan and the glory we brought to that fractured land. So to England, glory and destiny!"

#ivarr x reader #ac valhalla #assassin's creed #ac eivor #ac valhalla ivarr #ivarr the boneless #ubba ragnarsson #eivor wolfkissed #sigurd #x reader #reader insert #fanfiction #female reader #fem reader

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quietbluejay · 2 months

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Angel Exterminatus 11

YOU AREN'T HEEDING THEIR WARNINGS YOU DIMWIT

im resisting very hard making any comments about of course it's the wargamers (not resisting that hard otherwise I wouldn't have called notice to it)

Homestuck reference

wait when was this written 2016 did...did Black Library author Graham McNeill read Homestuck???

lmao okay whatever it is he's doing, it's happening now

...is it gonna be possession

With the help of viewers like you! For the low low price of your entire life energy!

oh i'm sorry, were you being serious here??? "made war a thing of beauty" your entire schtick is being ground down by the ugliness of the warfare you have been engaged in

he's right and he should say it perturabo does lack vision vision, ambition, initiative

someone pick up the phone because I called it I mean it was pretty obvious but still

now I'm really curious as to how he gets out of this alive or does he is it actually perturabo who shows up at the siege

Fulgrim, could you please make the moment where you absorb your brother's life a little less weird?

unfortunately, or thankfully the shooting stars meme kind of broke the tension in this bit for me someone with art skills please i need your help-

is Forrix dead??? RIP common sense

Kroeger normally I'm happy for you to get to do violence but maybe chill for once in your life

okay im wondering if Slaanesh isn't the only chaos god getting something out of today

Khorne intensifies

and then Kroeger hallucinates that he's an Aztec fighting conquistadors and then he hallucinates he's a dude in WWI …a cannibal lovely i "love" warhammer novels there's always cannibalism when you least expect it

yep. He went Full Khorne you never go Full Khorne

back to perturabo and he's having some kind of wacky magical mystery tour

fulgrim can you i know i already asked you to turn it down and i realize you don't actually know the meaning of those words put in that order but

this is well done from a writing perspective but also I want to crawl out of my skin

NANI??? is he gonna get his life force back??? Perturabo uses his magic primarch powers???

power of spite and trauma everyone

oof fulgrim materializes a sword and stabs him

meanwhile: Falk is somehow the only sane man

beautiful

Okay, worried now

a private moment just fulgrim, an entire world of eldar souls, the EC and the IW and the unconscious body of Perturabo oh wait let's not forget the Shattered Legions hanging around too watching this

okay time for stabbing fulgrim with the evil knife apparently?? the evil knife they stabbed horus with and also guilliman wait what the heck is the timeline here why is everyone playing hot potato with this stupid knife how are they playing hot potato

they're killing him to bring him back??? i guess??? oh they put the ground up soulstones in the wounds

I'm sorry all I can see is

Also Eidolon just pulling soulstones out of nowhere is a hilarious mental image while Fulgrim's busting a move. (I'm...not going to say anything about the rest of the scene other than that I'm at my limit)

im crying this is so stretched out the pacing i mean okay so like is this it??

augggh

well okay on the bright side he seems to be an intact person just you know traumatized but normal trauma rather than supernatural trauma

at...least he's being honest with himself?

I hit image limit. Again. The Angel Exterminatus ride has no breaks!

#bluejay reads warhammer #warhammer 40k

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corndoggod · 1 year

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Summer Storm Gumbo

“Have you heard of Meyer v Nebraska,” Charles asked. “It was a Supreme Court case from about 100 years ago….No. Ok. So shortly after World War I…”

Charles loves to talk so let me interrupt to tell you about Charles -- the best-dressed, most cosmopolitan man in all the Midwest. Whereas Cale prides himself on wearing the same shirt every day until it disintegrates, Charles is almost always immaculately dressed in a three-piece suit. The only time I didn’t see him in a suit I was horrified. Ghostly stalks emerged from his shorts as he emerged from the car, sunglasses and lotioned to replace me on a kayak trip on the Elkhorn river. (I was on deadline and panicking, and had to rush back to finish a cover story). Charles is a worldly man and has a working knowledge of many languages, has visited more countries than I could name, and has a nuanced command of world history and international politics, not to mention local politics. He has opinions, too, and loads of recommendations for wherever you might set foot, specializing in Portugal and Brazil. (he once described the Portugese diet as a drunk man let loose in a kitchen dead set on giving himself a delicious heart attack.) I never understood what he did or how he financed his lifestyle, but he was a globetrotting Cadillac of a man, reminding me of a time when writers lived in hotels for months on end.

Anyway, in Charles fashion he went on to explain how a Nebraska teacher plaintiff of German descent challenged a school policy directing teachers to teach exclusively in English. But the Supreme Court found it unconstitutional because there’s no national language and you can’t compel speech.

This anecdote capped off a conversation about language and identity in the courts. We’d been talking about pastagate, a scandal in Quebec involving an Italian restaurant that used the English word for pasta on their menu rather than the French pâtes.

Graham had invited me and half the town over for a cookout, and we congregated on the porch with dollar beers and bowls of gumbo. Graham could be president if he wasn’t so cynical and glued to the bar stool. Everybody loved him and every time I went to his place there was someone new in attendance. He was generous to a fault, inviting random people he saw on the street to come over, especially if they looked like they needed a friend. And this sometimes got him and us in trouble. Like when he invited a guy from a halfway house over and handed him a beer only to learn after he took a long gulp that he was in recovery. Graham laughed and said, “Well shit, you want another?”

The rain glittered in and out of the jaundiced street lights and lightning knifed through the night sky. Aside from gumbo, there was also cheeseburgers, though we arrived too late to taste, and perfectly crisped sweet potato fries and chicken wings my brother seasoned with his grubby fingers.

Three summers ago I moved back home to live on the lam and get serious about the writing thing. And by serious, I mean I woke up when I wanted, read magazines for an hour, pecked at my computer for a while at the coffee shop and then biked to Love Library to peck some more before going to climb with my brother and then sit at the bar waiting for anyone I knew to show up. That never took long. But after a few weeks, I lost faith in my novel and started writing personal essays instead. It was one of the happiest, most carefree, least productive periods of my life. I biked through England, France and Spain with my brother. I met Celina. I wrote the best, most personal thing I’ve ever written.

Anyway, within the first week of moving into Max and Cat’s extra bedroom a tornado warning sounded. I ran over to the gas station to buy some Modelo’s and plopped down on the porch swing to wait for the wind and for Max and Cat to get home from work. But first came a full trash can flying down the alley, which spooked me enough to crawl down into the basement.

Back at Graham’s, we drank all the beers, like we always do. But it was Sunday and most people headed home to work the next day. I had work too and it was stressing me out, but I stayed to drink a twisted tea and talk about Graham’s cyst he got kayaking the entire length of the Missouri River last summer. “I either gotta lay flat on my belly for a couple of weeks or they’re gonna sew up my cheeks,” he said. “But how would you shit?” “I don’t know.”

He also told me he was on the chopping block at his job where he’d worked for thirteen years. The day before he was up in Omaha orchestrating a protest outside the Berkshire Hathaway shareholders meeting to pressure Warren Buffett, “the oracle of Omaha,” and his worshipers to eliminate their investments in coal.

Then we went to the basement where I played the two best ping pong games of my life. I won’t the first against Janelle and lost the second against Josh, who won a tournament at the Hot Mess earlier that day.

Days like these I feel like everything is worth writing because I finally feel like I know something. My friends are famous and I know as much trivia as any super fan, but no one else knows about them. I also know these burnt skies, this deep thirst and the smells of clipped grass and upturned soil and manure.

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deadricslover · 2 years

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late night thoughts: volume 1

none of you know me very well and I create some of your pre-bed time scenarios, so I thought I'd give you some really really random facts about me whilst I work on my many many many drafts. If you have any questions ask below! Although there are some things I would like to keep private for privacy reasons 💀 :)

- I am fluent in multiple languages! sometimes if I'm using one language for a period of time and then switch to another, I would mix words up and it's very funny when people don't understand me.

- Usually little girls would love to be a princess or a hairdresser, right? well my little self wanted to be a (as I called it) a racecar driver...... but in normal terms: a formula one driver. I don't know what was going through my head but I was obsessed. stealing my older brothers toy cars from when he was younger and wanting a go-kart for Christmas was normal to me and I often got made fun of for it. That dream would still be ideal today but I have more practical aspirations for my future now which is very emotional for me. :( I loved Daniel Riccardo he was literally my idol (+ vettel and Alonso!!!). My obsession was so hardcore that I refused to watch princess films and play with Barbies. I received a Rapunzel doll for my birthday when I was eight and took off her dress and coloured a race suit onto her with a sharpie. It was very creative to be fair.

- every relationship and friendship (besides my brother ily smelly) I have been in ever has been toxic and tore me down, my luck is so kind to me right? don't pity me or I swear- I was little and didn't know better. THE POINT IS my online friendships worked out so much better so I value you all so so so much honestly<3

- don't laugh at me please but when I was younger I had a crippling fear of the Simpsons..........they were scary ok?

- I have a dog!

- Christian bale isn't my only celebrity crush but that's not shocking I don't think.

- batman isn't my favourite superhero. shocking? he's one of my favourites but not in the top five. he is definitely the most attractive one, but as a character I prefer marvel characters :)

- i.am.a.sucker.for.romance.

- favourite..

superhero: super potato from Peppa pig. who else?

movie: the dark knight and whiplash (couldn't recommend enough, honestly)

tv show: ben and holly (I ❤️ Gaston). fuck Daniel Riccardo^^, Gaston is my idol

colour: RED WHEN I TELL YOU I LOVE RED- OMFG. I like purple too

food: grapes. theyre so random but I love the purple ones.

person: my best friend's mom. he knows I prefer her over him and feels so loved by me 💀 idk why I love her sm but I do. ur mom jokes are daily for us because of this.

animal: my older brother ❤️ he's the smelliest pig.

song: you know I'm no good ( and that whole album) by Amy Winehouse is my current hyperfixation but I love harry styles :) basic ass bitch I know but the arctic monkeys are in the mix too!

- I am literally the best at mario kart. like nobody can beat me for real, my mom and dad would play with me and my brother and I would always beat them no exceptions.

- I am literally -like I said a second ago- the most basic biatch. you know that one aesthetic that's like nerdy but in a Pinterest way? like loving taylor swift, marvel, books, Lana del Ray, music, Gilmore girls, the arctic monkeys and star wars? that's literally me. not that the arctic monkeys, Taylor or anything are nerdy but you know what Im trying to say? sorry if u don't HAJAJAHAHHA

- I cannot let my room become untidy. it's just a thing. I can't function in a slightly messy room, let alone a monstrosity that looks like an alien space ship crashed into my house. it irritates me because I constantly find myself cleaning and reorganising.

- I dont know why I got the urge to write on here, I never wanted to be an author growing up but I just thought it would be fun.

- I literally don't know what else to tell you😭 I'll edit this whenever I think of somat to add hehe.

#dc #batman #bruce wayne #batman begins #christian bale #deadricslover #the dark knight #f1 #daniel ricciardo #the simpsons #idkwhatthesetagsrlmao

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pb-dot · 4 months

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Film Friday: Tucker and Dale VS Evil

I'm feeling a bit of a meta-horror mood these days. Although it's not quite as deep in the meta soup as Cabin In The Woods, there's no denying that Tucker and Dale VS Evil belong in that pot, and considering how delightful it is, it's hard to not describe it as a bit of potato... ok, where was this metaphor going again? Anyway. Tucker and Dale VS Evil

Tucker and Dale have been friends their entire life. Now things are looking up for the two country boys, as many years of saving have allowed Tucker to purchase himself a little vacation home, a cabin in the woods. Only two small problems mar their first trip to this home away from home. One, the cabin is creepy as hell and the kind of a fixer-upper that requires power tools, and Two, a gaggle of college kids have taken to the woods to party. The latter problem wouldn't be as much of a problem, except that due to a series of unfortunate misunderstandings the college kids believe themselves to be stalked horror-movie style by the two hillbillies.

Now, that'd be amusing enough of a setup on its own, but what really elevates it into hilarity for me is how the college kids, in an effort to fight back against the perceived life-and-death threat, end up doing the messiest accidental suicides you can imagine. Without getting into gory details, a woodchipper, moonshine, a chainsaw, and the worst loose board in the history of loose boards are all involved. It becomes a bit of a splatstick routine after a while, but damn if everyone involved doesn't sell the hell out of it.

Not that accidental mutilations and murders are all the movie has to show for itself of course. There is a romance subplot between Dale and one of the college kids, the somewhat more perceptive Allison, who, as a link in the chain of misunderstandings and accidents that drives the plot, gets knocked out and finds herself recovering under the auspices of the hilbillies. It's not my favorite romance subplot, but it's fine, ties in with the themes well enough, and the ongoing Rube-Goldberg machine of misunderstandings and murder that springs from it is at least entertaining.

The main draw apart from the gore though, is the central friendship between our two titular characters. It's often played to show that neither of these two are particularly bright. There's also something very sweet about these two fellas having each other's back, Dale in the earnest way he does everything, and Tucker with the restrained "not too much of a compliment now" way of your big brother-type characters. It's just nice to see dudes being friends like that, although I sure wish either one of them could read a clue to save their life, but there's comedy for you.

There's also some business going on with nature and nurture and one of the college kids being just a little bit too keen on instigating a class war on these two hillbillies, but I honestly consider the way it's resolved a bit of a weak point of the narrative. Fortunately it doesn't get in the way too much, as it still allows Chad, and of course this young gentleman is named Chad, to be a fun, if not thematically strong, final antagonist.

#film friday #tucker and dale vs evil #cw: gore

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gchoate17 · 1 year

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youtube

I watched 30 movies in 2022 – down from 46 last year. Here they are, ranked in order. Most of them can be found on Netflix or Amazon Prime Video. I also ranked the shows I watched this year.

The Forgotten Battle -- Dutch-language film with subtitles. I appreciated that the movie included real-world military strategy, and it showed war from the front lines as well as from the civilians’ perspective. It managed to touch on the resistance without making it more than it was, and most impressive of all, the film humanized a character fighting for the wrong side without making him a complete saint.

To the Bone -- Usually movies about disorders, diseases, or issues in general are so focused on shedding light on those things that they forget to care about actual plot or character development, but this one did a great job on all fronts.

The King -- War in the 15th century was ridiculous, but fun to watch.

The Great Gatsby (2013) -- Baz Luhrman was the perfect filmmaker for the glitz and glam of the 1920s. The first 45 minutes of the movie was fantastic. My hangups were the shortcomings of the story – Gatsby works best as a flawless person who doesn’t need love, which is an impossibility. Also, Daisy doesn’t get to make decisions? (I get it, it was the 1920s, but still.)

The Meyerowitz Stories -- [SPOILER ALERT, kind of] This felt like a Wes Anderson story told by Noah Baumbach, if that makes sense. The characters’ behavior was too on the nose sometimes, but usually the humor of such behavior carried the scene. Great casting. Best scene was Hoffman running away from the gallery opening.

Other People -- Balances humor well with the emotional struggle that cancer brings. Probably the best acting I’ve ever seen from Molly Shannon. Also, Jesse Plemons is in every single movie, I think.

While We’re Young -- I’m scared by how much I related to the “older” couple in this movie.

The Lost Daughter -- Sad and beautiful and terrifying in multiple ways. “Children are a crushing responsibility.”

The Seige of Jadotville -- True story and military tactics and a band of Irish brothers against all odds. All my things.

The Devil All the Time -- Dark and sinister and a kind of underdog story. Robert Pattinson continues to successfully shake off his Twilightness.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society -- Cute, but with some real depth. I cried.

All Quiet on the Western Front -- The brilliance of this movie (novel) is that it shows what cannon fodder individual lives were in World War I, and it humanized the poor bastards who came of age in Nazi Germany.

Munich: The Edge of War -- [SPOILER ALERT] I never understood von Hartmann’s political position – too anti-Hitler for Lena, who is also anti-Hitler? – and so it was hard for me to get his motivation at times.

War Machine -- Fantastic thesis, humorous at times, but from an overall entertainment perspective…mostly dry.

Licorice Pizza -- Man, what I wouldn’t give to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman in this movie.

Hustle -- I love Adam Sandler in dramatic roles. This one started out at a 4.5, ended up at a 1.5. Sports training montage situation.

The Master -- Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix are always brilliant, but I felt like this one dragged a bit. I never felt like we were building toward anything, which was probably the point, but the entertainment value suffered because of it.

The Adam Project -- Playful in a Ryan Reynolds sort of way, has some heart.

I Came By -- I could probably watch George MacKay and Kelly MacDonald in anything. Without them, this is your standard thriller.

The Power of the Dog -- [SPOILER ALERT] The characters pulled complete 180s. Phil was a complete asshole who turned out to just be a closeted gay man? And chaste Rose became an instant alcoholic without her husband stepping in? Doubtful.

IO -- Dystopia fix. Full of improbabilities and character behavior that didn’t make sense. But I liked seeing the girl from Maid in something else.

Hail; Caesar! -- Only worth it for the subtle quirkiness.

Sorry to Bother You -- Interesting premise and I enjoyed the quirkiness, but ultimately the story grew tiresome.

Windfall -- Interesting to see Jason Segel in a role like this, but otherwise, there wasn’t much here for me.

The Colony -- Dystopia fix. Full of improbabilities and character behavior that didn’t make sense.

Sand Castle -- Cliched. And the military consultant or whatever should be fired. “Hoo-AAAAHHH.”

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs -- These vignettes felt like incomplete ideas.

World War Z -- It’s been so long that this movie was marketed to me that I forgot it was a zombie flick. By the time I realized it, I was too tired to keep searching for something else to watch.

Stillwater -- Had faith in Matt Damon to choose good movies. He did not do so here. Cliched out, and so many things that didn’t make sense. How did he afford to stay in a hotel in Europe for so long?

Blade Runner (1982) -- I have no doubt this movie had a major impact when it originally hit theaters, but forty years later, it did nothing for me. (Except maybe highlighting Ray Finkle’s early work.)

See previous years’ lists here: 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017.

#movies #movie list #rankings #the forgotten battle #best of 2022 #best movies of 2022 #netflix #amazon prime video #Youtube

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theliterateape · 2 years

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A Merry Christmas Punch/CounterPunch On the Sensitive Topic of One Mr. George Bailey, Part Two

(This piece was performed at BUGHOUSE! in Las Vegas at Bunkhouse on December 23, 2019. It is a rebuttal to Don Hall’s piece about what a horrible person George Bailey is. Audience members were handed scripts in the moment to read out loud. Clarence Oddbody was played by Kelly. The bartender was played by Dylan the bartender. Don Hall was played by Don Hall.)

It’s A Wonderful Joe

By Joe Janes

Joe: Of course, George Bailey is a good person. This is such a slam dunk. He’s played by Jimmy Stewart who is also a good person. George Bailey saved his little brother Harry’s life who went on to be a war hero by killing as many Japanese people he could. George also saved somebody else because Mr. Gower, the drunk grieving pharmacist, put poison into pill form. George Bailey saved his boss’s ass. Gower stopped drinking and, hopefully, learned not to keep jars of poison right next to medicine. Who does that? That’s day one of pharmacy school – medicine here, poison way, way, way over there maybe not in the same room. George’s relationship with Mary wasn’t some love-at-first sight Hollywood malarkey. It built over time; they grew to love one another. It was earned and lasted, and it only got a little rape-y when she was hiding naked in a bush and he was using her robe for leverage for what we don’t know exactly. Fortunately, his father died of a heart attack and that got him out of there.

I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. It’s just so hard to argue something I no longer believe. Don Hall is right. George Bailey is not a good person. He never took a single step outside of Bedford Falls. His family lives in a drafty old house that he used to throw rocks at. He has a kid named Zuzu. Zuzu—short for Pazuzu, the demon from The Exorcist… I just, I can’t. He puts shredded coconut on his ice-cream for fuck’s sake. That’s just horrible. I never should have agreed to do this. I wish I had never agreed to do this. Do you hear me, God? I wish I had never done Bughouse.

Clarence: Your prayers have been answered, Joe Janes.

Joe: What do you mean?

Clarence: You never did your piece about George Bailey being a good person at the Bughouse show.

Joe: Who are you?

Clarence: My name is Clarence Oddbody. I’m an angel, second class. By helping you, I’ll get my wings.

Joe: What kind of name is Oddbody? Irish?

Clarence: I’m called Oddbody because, well, take a look. I have a third nipple, my knees bend backwards, and my nut sack looks like a russet potato covered with eyes. Real eyes. The kind that stare at you. I’m hundreds of years old. People were named quite literally back then. Just ask Honest Abe Lincoln’s postmaster general, Caleb P. Openumbrellaanus.

Joe: And you’re an angel?

Clarence: That’s usually the first question people ask. Yes. I’m an angel. And I granted your wish. You never performed your piece at Bughouse.

Joe: So, I can just leave the stage like it never happened?

Clarence: Like it never happened because it never did happen.

Joe: Cool. I’m going to go get a drink. Barkeep, I would like a frosty beverage. And perhaps a mulled wine for my angel friend.

Bartender: I can’t. I’m no longer a bartender. You never did your piece. Don Hall told everyone what a piece of shit George Bailey was and that was it. Itconvinced me there was no hope and that I will die never knowing what love is. I’m a spinster, now…and a librarian.

Joe: But, you’re right here behind the bar and Don only did his piece a few minutes ago.

Bartender: It’s not my fault your premise is flawed. Now, unless you have a book toreturn or to check out, please move along.

Joe: But…

Bartender: Move along!

Joe: This can’t be happening. Don! Don! Tell me this isn’t happening.

Don: Who are you?

Joe: It’s Joe. Joe Janes, your friend from Chicago. I came to Las Vegas to do Bughouse. You don’t remember me?

Don: I remember you. I’m shunning you. My friend Joe from Chicago never did Bughouse.

Clarence: See, you prayed that you never did Bughouse and so-

Joe: We get it, Clarence! We get it.

Don: I was very excited to have you on the show. You’re the most brilliant writer I know. Ruggedly handsome, yet sophisticated, like Captain Picard and George Clooney had a threesome with cyborg Cary Grant who carried you to term like a pregnant male seahorse. More importantly, you were and had always been my friend. Remember that time I wanted to move because everyone in town thought I was a floozie? You gave me $2,000 and wished me luck. Had it not been for you, I would have become a dime-a-dance guy. I still charge ten cents a dance. Two dollars for hand jobs. But I do it because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to. Not doing your piece at Bughouse was like someone dug a hole in my heart with a spork and pooped in it. Pooped filled with thumbtacks, ghost peppers, and old man diapers. I was so distraught from you bailing on the show that I got a migraine. I went home and instead of taking aspirin, I accidentally took poison.

Joe: How did you accidentally take poison?

Don: I keep it right next to the medicine like everyone does.

Joe: Nobody does that!

Don: Well, I do and now I’m dead. Thanks.

Joe: Clarence! Clarence! Change it all back. Please, change it all back. I want to be able to buy beer at Bunkhouse. I want Don to be not dead. I can be okay with people putting shredded coconut on ice-cream. Maybe. I’ll do my piece at Bughouse. Change it all back.

Clarence: Okay, Joe. It’s all changed back.

Joe: Really! Just like that?

Clarence: Just like that.

Joe: That’s great! Hello, Bunkhouse! Hello, ol’ bar. Hello, bartender! Hello, live Don Hall! I’ll tell you why George Bailey is a good person! He always, ALWAYS, put other people before himself. His family, his friends, the people of Bedford Falls. George Bailey was the least selfish person and he devoted his life to helping people live their dreams. George Bailey had friends. Lots of them. He cared about people and they cared right back because “No man who has friends is a failure.”

(Clarence rings a bell)

Joe: Clarence, did you get your wings?

Clarence: No, I’m still waiting for them. I ordered them 20 god damn minutes ago. They stopped serving food when you turned the bar into a library. I’d like my jumbo wings, now, please!

Joe: Merry Christmas, everyone! Merry Christmas!

Clarence: (Rings bell repeatedly) Give me my mother fucking wings, Bunkhouse!

Joe: And scene.

#Christmas #George Bailey #BUGHOUSE!

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mono-dot-jpeg · 3 years

Text

the antarctic idiots [pt.1] - c! technoblade

summary; in which two anarchist piglins adopt an ender boy.

genre; child! ranboo, piglin hybrid! reader, slight canon divergence from dream smp, fluff, found family au is my shit, reader is now ranboo’s parent i don’t make the rules, techno is a grumpy father but it’s okay you love him, realistic minecraft? (idk how to describe it-)

pairing; c! technoblade x reader, platonic! ranboo x reader

word count; 1.5k

a/n; fuck it, it is here now. here’s the techno x reader you fucking simps. i can’t even be mad bc i too am a simp for the anarchist pig that is technoblade.

i hope this is somewhat up to par with everyone’s expectations since i hyped this up so much. this is one of the few writings that i actually like so- i couldn’t resist waiting so long to post it AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

next >

now you never really expected to find yourself on a side of history that was deemed "the villain's side", especially when the villain wasn't even that bad.

okay, that's a bit of a lie. this piglin man blew up an entire country to end government. plus he has evaded his taxes. i mean the list goes on but that's not the entire point here.

the point is, you found yourself actually being friends (even going as far as housemates) with the so-called evil anarchist.

now we might be moving too fast here, so let's move it back a little bit.

"so you want me to join pogtopia?" you looked up, shutting the book in your hand as you leaned back on your chair. "and what would i get in return exactly?"

"...our friendship won't die?" the voice of wilbur soot rings in your quiet home, unsure and nervous at your stern aura and words.

"why can't you just help us?!" tommy flared up, nearly throwing a fit if not for his older brother holding him back.

"just because i am your friend, does not mean i am interested in fighting for your conflicts." you place the book on the small side table, adjusting your gloves while you explain yourself to the two boys, "i'm not saying i'm a pacifist, but i'm not here to fight. i live far away for a reason. i told you this before."

"can i call in that favor then?" wilbur asked. "you still owe me one." you huffed at his words. you saw this coming.

"you're lucky i'm a nice person most of the time." you sighed, standing up and nearly towering over the two boys if not for wilbur being a bit taller than you. "i will get my stuff packed, and then we can get to your pogtopia. but while i do that, please explain the whole situation." since you lived so far away from society, you didn't know too much about what was happening unless wilbur told you about it and wilbur never really talked to you too often.

"well, you know how we had l'manburg.." and then he starts to explain how that completely backfired on them because they lost the election and now they lost their country. "and now we want to fight back for l'manburg." wilbur finishes explaining as you put your old netherite sword in its sheath that hung on your waist. "we just need your help. are you willing to train us?"

"it's not like i have much of a choice since you're cashing in that favor." you pointed out. "i better not be staying for too long."

"i can't make any promises about that." you sighed. "you ready?"

"unfortunately." it was time to leave your home and face violence once again.

"if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only person we've asked to help us." tommy says in an attempt to get you out of your bitter mood.

"that made me feel worse, tommy. i think you guys would've been fine without me if you have another person helping you other than tubbo." you slung your bag over your shoulder. "but if you really insist on getting the help of me, then who am i to judge?"

"since it seems like you're ready now, let's go to pogtopia!" tommy said, ignoring most of your words of complaints as he starts to drag you by the arm towards the dream smp. "it's quite the walk from here. why do you live so far from everyone? don't you get lonely? why didn't you join l'manburg with me and will?"

"slow down with the questions, tommy. first of all, i've told you and wilbur why i live far away, you did not listen though." you pressed a finger on his forehead, earning a huff of annoyance from the blonde. you moved your hand back to your side. "i simply do not like people. also why get pulled into conflict that you never were apart of to begin with? but that's pretty hypocritical of me to say now."

"i get that you're not fond of people, but aren't you lonely out here?" you three walked into the portal that would take you right into the nether. the sounds of bubbling lava and squealing pigmen was always an oddly comforting sound to hear.

"i'm perfectly content in my house. even if it's very far from others. i'm happy." you answered though your words sounded so... monotonous. tommy gave you a look, he definitely didn't believe you. "i know i don't sound happy but i am." before you knew it, you made it to the other nether portal which would actually take you to the manburg and pogtopia. oh how you didn't miss this place at all.

you never liked how manburg was ran even before shlatt was elected. you never really like government in general. it always seemed to be ruining everything. freedom never felt like freedom, at least that's what you thought especially when there was a goverment.

"welcome to pogtopia!" you were so deep in your own thoughts that you hadn't realized that you had made it to pogtopia.

"so where is your other helper? the first choice that wasn't me?" you asked.

"i think he might be here. he's been staying up for a long time. ever since he got in here." wilbur said. "technoblade? you here?" wilbur leads you to a potato farm and you soon feel a sense of familiarity as you enter the room.

"yeah." a low huff is heard, causing you and wilbur to turn your heads toward the source of the sound. "i'm here." what immediately catches your attention is the crown messily placed on his head as he farms. as a piglin, you've always been fond of gold, that adoration never left you once you went to the overworld. you never really wore a crown but you wore a gold pendant instead that was pinned to your cape.

"you have a really pretty crown." it takes you a minute to realize that those words came out of your mouth. "fuck, i didn't mean to say that out loud." you explained quickly to the male that was farming. "piglin things." you muttered.

"a very unexpected compliment. understandable." techno said. "wilbur, who is this again? have i met them?"

"well, you'd think you know each other since you're both piglins, but i guess the world is bigger than i thought. well, technoblade, meet y/n, y/n, meet technoblade."

"i call him the blade." tommy said smugly. "the blade! how's the potato planting doing?"

"it's doing fine. i didn't expect any company to come though."

"well, this is the person that we wanted to recruit for pogtopia."

"nice to meet you, even if the circumstances aren't the best. wilbur is lucky i owe him a favor." you said. "i sort of expected meeting you since tommy and wilbur mentioned you once they came to get me. i just never expected to see another piglin here in the overworld."

"never expected to see another piglin here either." techno hummed slightly.

maybe staying in pogtopia won't be too bad. at least you made a friend?

that was sort of a lie. you and techno never really talked after the encounter. it never worried you, you’re not one for conversation right now anyways. you had a mission to do and you’re gonna do it. you didn’t have time to make friends, at least that’s what you thought. friends seemed to be temporary in the smp, considering the wars that were and have happened.

you weren’t going to make another friend, knowing that you just might get pulled into their fights.

“why did you stop fighting once you left l’manburg?” wilbur’s voice rings in the small fighting pit that was made for training.

“i simply didn’t find the need to fight. it doesn’t mean i’m any weaker though. i will still fight for what i want to fight for.” and that’s gonna be really ending this whole government. you think to yourself, letting the nighttime ambience fill the air.

“you still have your lives...right?” you show him your wrist which had 3 hearts tattooed on it.

“i’ve been living away from everyone, of course i won’t die that easily.” you let out an empty laugh. “bold of you to assume i would even die.”

“i know it’s ridiculous to even think that you would lose a life after you left l’manburg but what if dream were to chase you down and kill you?”

“i understand your worry, but need not to worry, i can handle myself. if i couldn’t you guys would never even assign me as cavalry captain those years ago.” you said, unbuttoning your gold pendant to place it on the stone cold floor along with your other accessories you had. “it’s not like dream can do too much to me. we made a deal after all.”

“a deal?” wilbur raised an eyebrow as he took off his jacket, tossing it on the ground.

“don’t be too concerned. i’m not like eret. i wouldn’t betray you.”

taglist; @justahostaccount, @olyink, @aikochan4859, @classycookiebailiffstudent, @hubblie, @stickk-bugg, @goldensunshineshit, @sadlyitsme-boohoo, @jace-the-ace12, @2cuteforyourlies, @lvlyjuro

[if you want to be added, send in an ask!]

#technoblade x reader #techno mcyt #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt+x+reader #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #dream smp #c!techno #sbi family dynamic #sbi x reader #ranboo #ranboo x reader #dream smp ranboo #dream smp ranboo x reader #antarctic idiots

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ayamturd · 3 years

Text

brother│sbi family

summary: y/n will always stand by their brothers no matter the hardship or challenges they should overcome in the end.

song: Brother by Kodaline

warnings: angst to fluff(?), cursing, blood/gore descriptions, death, slight spoliers for dsmp

pairing: in-game platonic!sbi family

a/n: i heard this song the other day and knew i had to give it a try (give it a listen!). also, each section/scene change is supposed to show a period of growth for the reader, both in age and confidence wise. as always, pls feel free to comment or give feedback!

wc: (4.1k) - m.list

When we were young we were the ones

The kings and queens oh yeah, we ruled the world

“Techno, wait!”

“Keep up then, slow poke!”

Technoblade and y/n were running through the village, laughing like madmen while jumping over the hay bales serving as their mini obstacle course. They were passing the time while Dadza finished his tradings with Wilbur, him volunteering to assist in hopes of exploring the market place. As they continued their chase, Technoblade began to gain a lead; his long limbs giving him a far unfair advantage against his smaller sibling. He was nearing the local well in the town square, and y/n knew they would have to take drastic measure before he could claim victory.

Quickly assessing their surroundings, y/n grabbed the first product they could snatch off the closest stand. They beamed it at Techno, the potato hitting him on the back of his head, causing him to falter and trip over his hooves. Y/n leaped over him, grin wide when hearing the vendor and their brother yell after them.

“Y/n! What gives?!” Technoblade scrambled up in a hurry, rushing to meet their stride. Y/n only cackled, shouting back, “hey, it’s like you once said, ‘What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.’”

The sun beamed down in the late afternoon, yet y/n was too driven to notice. They reached the center square and rang the bell, signifying their win. “I regret teaching you the ways of Sun Tzu.” Technoblade was panting with his hands on his knees; he had tried to catch up given his fall slowing him down, but ended up running in vain to his defeat.

“Ahh you don’t mean that now, do you?” Y/n climbed up the well and jumped on Technoblade’s shoulders, forcing him to adjust to the sudden weight while they gripped his pink hair. He grunted, “I do if it means you beating me.” Y/n giggled.

“Don’t worry, I’ll always remember your miserable loss as the origin of my success.”

“Gee, thanks.” Despite their bickering, the two children held large smiles, snickering while spinning carefree and contently. They tuned out the world, purely existing in the moment while conquering each trivial challenge at a time.

We've taken different paths

“Come on, y/n, you’ve got to let go some time or another.” Y/n clung onto Wilbur’s side, curled into his chest while the lanky man hovered his arms above them.

“Not until you hug me back, you jerk!” Wilbur sighed, pulling them in again. “I already hugged you in the house. We’re not gonna be here for another 10 minutes, right? You know how impatient Tommy can be.”

“Alright, fine you dickhead. I’ll let you go. See if I care the next time you want a hug,” y/n huffed. They pulled away in haste and crossed their arms, turning away from him completely.

“You’re such a cry baby, s’not like we’ll be gone forever. Can visit and shit,” Tommy spoke up, walking towards the pair with his saddle in hand.

“Shut up, bitch. I won’t miss you anyway, I was talking to Wilbur.”

“Like hell you won’t!”

Wilbur stepped between the two, hand on Y/n’s shoulder and a push to Tommy’s face. “Maybe it’s best that we’re leaving, y/n. Tommy’s obviously influenced you too much.”

“Why the hell you say that like it’s a bad thing?!”

“Ugh, God please no.”

Despite all odds, y/n was the shortest in the family compared to all the boys. They were forced to look up at Tommy while he glared down at their smug face.

Phil came forward from the house and chose to stand besides y/n. “I’ve only just gotten them to leave, don’t tell me you’re holding them down any longer.” Y/n muttered a small no. Wilbur and Tommy looked offended at the comment, and Phil only chuckled at the sight. “You’ll see them soon, y/n. You know they’ve been waiting for the opportunity to explore, and one day you’ll take your chance too.”

“Yeah, I know,” y/n sighed and leaned into Phil’s side. They were openly pained to have their brothers leave their home, disliking the idea of their family separated, yet they knew they didn’t have the right to stop them from their ambitions.

Phil checked over their supplies once more before patting their shoulders with encouraging words. Giving them room, the brothers mounted their horses and pulled the reins to the East, taking one final glance at their home. They both waved and rode off.

The sun laid above the horizon, strips of color spread across the sky as night began to fall. Though they were too far to hear, y/n waited a moment before speaking. “Till next time.”

And travelled different roads

“You can’t be serious.”

“You rather I leave them to die?” Technoblade was packing, grabbing his best weaponry and stuffing rations into his satchel. Although contemplating to bring his armor, he opted out of it in favor of traveling light. Y/n was trailing behind the large piglin, eyes irritated and upset.

“How can you say that? I’m only concerned on why you think a revolution is what they need right now!” Technoblade spun around at their words, standing above them menacingly. Any rational person would be afraid if it weren’t for the fact that they grew up together.

“Y/n. You and I both know there’s a reason they called me and me alone. I’m going there to help and do what is ask of me. What else do you expect from all of this?” Technoblade spoke steadily, his chin still raised while his eyes looked down at them. It only angered y/n more.

“What I expect, Technoblade, is for you to be their brother and help them! Be their brother for once and not just ‘the Blood God’!” Y/n emphasized each point with a jab to his chest. It was rare for the two to fight at all, them being considerably close and maintaining the same idealization for the most part.

Techno only narrowed his eyes before grabbing y/n’s wrist. “We’ve talked about this, y/n. Don’t act like you don’t understand the difference between ‘the Blood God’ and myself. Don’t act like there is a difference at all.” There was a slight pause as y/n’s eyes widen at their close proximity, Technoblade having had moved closer towards their face.

“… you’re hurting me, Techno.” Glancing down at their hands, Technoblade immediately let go and grabbed his crossbow behind y/n, leaving the room as if the conversation never happened. Y/n was quick to follow him before he left the house.

They screamed out, “This isn’t right, Techno! For their sakes, you and that tactical brain of yours should realize that at the very least!” Technoblade stopped near the exit and tilted his head to the left, a brief silence before speaking. “If you weren’t so afraid of the world, you could always go save them yourself.”

He slammed the front door close at that, leaving a still y/n in shock at his words. The night was dead quiet as y/n stood there for some time, a ringing silence impeding the air. Phil came down the hallway from his room, tired yet aware of the situation; he was admittedly awake during the argument. “Are you alright, dear?” His voice was soft as he was unsure of y/n’s current emotions, their back to him while facing the front door. Y/n turned towards him with teary eyes.

“No.”

And when you're in the trenches

And you're under fire I will cover you

“Ya’ know what, Wilbur?” Tommy was sitting on a furnace, Wilbur leaning against the cavern walls across him. They were both eating dinner together in the dark, dimly lit and empty space, the only sound coming further down the cave where Technoblade farmed until Tommy spoke up. Raising a hand to chew, Wilbur swallowed before asking a what?

“I’m getting real sick of potatoes.” They both laughed at that, temporarily finding joy in the small joke before fading back into a helpless silence. They were still reeling from their situation; no home, no friends, no government to stand with. While they were in the presence of their brother, Technoblade was focused on their main goal: revolution. Even through perseverance, the brothers couldn’t help but feel exhausted from the efforts, the previous war having taken a toll in spite of the approaching age of a new one.

“I miss home,” Tommy expressed, eyes trained to the ground. Wilbur stared at the boy before looking down at the baked potato in hand. “Me too.”

A sudden noise came from above, as if someone broke down their stone entrance. Although Pogtopia had gained an underground support from the citizens of Manberg, their location was still undisclosed to the others, secret letters and Tubbo being the only communication. Grabbing his sword, Tommy nodded to Wilbur and headed up the steep stairway. Wilbur briefly looked up and ran to warn Technoblade of a possible intruder.

Weapon in hand, Tommy creeped up the path determined. Footsteps echoed underground and Tommy paused to push himself against the wall. The light of a lantern glowed ever so brighter with each approaching step behind the corner above. Right as he rose to strike, a familiar voice spoke out.

“You’re not seriously going stab me now, right?” Tommy’s gaze shot up to see his sibling smirk at his surprise. “Cause that would suck after traveling this whole way to see you idiots.”

Tommy laughed breathlessly in disbelief before shouting their name for all to hear. He ran up to quickly embrace them and pulled them down to meet the rest. Technoblade and Wilbur visibly relaxed at the sigh of the two, weapons dropping to their side.

“You’re here,” Technoblade stated, his eyebrows raised unexpectedly. Expression neutral, y/n only spared him a glance before looking to the side. “I’m here.”

Wilbur ignored the small tension and walked forward, a soft smile at the sight of them with his arms raised. “Am I still allowed to ask for that hug?” Y/n grinned and let him engulf them in a hug. They squeezed his torso tight while they swayed slightly side to side. Tommy, elated to see his sibling for the first time in practically years, vocalized his excitement loudly behind the embracing pair.

“Are you here to help us fight?!”

Y/n hesitated before turning back to smile wearily, “I’m here to help you in any way I can.”

If I was dying on my knees

You would be the one to rescue me

“You want to be a hero, Tommy?”

The battlefield was suspended in apprehension, everyone amassed on the small platform above the caved in trench. Standing before them, separated by the broken landscape, Technoblade held large, black skulls in each hand. In front of him, two structures of sand guarding his sides. He was perched over them, eyes red in blood-like fury with tusks that pointed in pride and determination. Y/n gaped in horror at the sight, whispering a small no that fell on deaf ears.

“Then die like one!”

A sudden light blinded the field, Technoblade having had completed the ancient ritual due for destruction. Before anyone could collet their thoughts, a small force pushed everyone back. Strong winds blew as dust covered the the terrain, and from the ashes of white fire rose two mythological beasts with holo eyes and a grotesque body of dark bones. There was a beat of stillness before chaos erupted.

Yelling and panic ensued as some began fighting the monstrosities while others worked to kill those preventing the end. Y/n felt lost as others pushed and pulled them every way. They tried looking for their brothers, crying out their names in the frantic space, but could no longer define anyone in the tumultuous crowd overwhelming them.

By the time they were able to separate themself from the group, a building hum penetrated from above. Explosions descended around them as they became trapped by the blasts. Arms covered and crouched close to the ground, Y/n was helpless to the wither, and they stared in dread as the creature began to glow to attack once more.

Before they met their final end, however, colors invaded the sky and erupted against the wither’s side. It roared in rage at the measly ambush and turned to find the source. Y/n was still frozen in the futile position, but was hoisted from behind and dragged up the small crater entrapping them.

Technoblade let go of their weight once on solid ground again and stepped away immediately. Y/n, wheezing from the realization they could have died, turned to look up at their brother while still laying on the ground. Arms beneath them, they struggled to raise their head to him.

“Why, Tech,” y/n exasperated, eyes begging for a justification for more destruction beyond that of their recent brother’s death. Tears fell in anguish of the devastation around them. “Just why?”

“Not everyone can be saved. Not everything is worth being saved.”

And if you were drowned at sea

I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe

“Come on Toms, stay with me now.” Pulling with all their might, y/n grappled the thin boy through the water as they fought to swim against the current in the rising dawn. As they crawled onto the sandy shores, the heavy weight of being completely soaked left them restless on the beach. Taking a moment to breathe, y/n gathered their strength before rushing to Tommy’s side.

“Come on, Tommy. You can’t do this to me now.” Y/n laid him completely flat and started to push his chest in rhythmic beats, shoving down as hard as they could to save him.

He was already incredibly pale from the cold depths of the water, and y/n could only assume he had been in the water for some time before they arrived.

Every so often they would glance to discern any movement or change but would go back to focusing on reviving their brother entirely. As more time passed and Tommy refused to move, Y/n grew frustrated and speed up their pace harshly, tears clouding their vision despite their resolution. “Please, Tommy. Please. I can’t lose another one of you. Not again.”

With a sudden twitch, Tommy jerked before coughing up water and trembling with the rush of air to his lungs. Y/n looked up to the green horizon and closed their eyes in relief, tears streaming down their cheeks before they reached down to hold the boy close. Gently bring him into their arms and caressing his long wet hair, Tommy continued to draw breaths with his arm hung limply around them. He clutched the fabric on their shoulder, whimpering in a small voice,

“Y/n? Are you really here this time?” Y/n squeezed him tighter.

“It’s really me, Toms. I’m here. And I’m never leaving you again.”

And if we hit on troubled water

I'll be the one to keep you warm and safe

“This is not a trial, Technoblade.” Quackity motioned to the anvil strung above the stage, beaming at the seething piglin through the bars of the cage. “This is an execution. We are going to kill you.”

Hidden beneath the breath of night while under the effects of the invisible potion, y/n observed from the roof of a nearby house. Although they kept their distance from everyone in their family besides Tommy, y/n couldn’t ignore the apparent ‘Butcher Army’ when they passed through the forest where they were collecting wood, their brother strung behind them as if on a leash.

Y/n glared at the immaturity of the young boys, despising the belief that more death will create peace in a land built on bloodshed. While their relationship with Technoblade was rough considering their last encounter, they couldn’t deny the fact that he had a right to hold his certain principles and acted out in aggression to the others’ mistreatment; though arguably to an extreme.

Their gaze shifted when the mercenary, Punz, announced his arrival with thrown snowballs and began spreading TNT as an apparent distraction. Deciding to aid in the diversion, y/n pulled arrows out of their quiver and aimed to target the boys when they tried to assault him.

“Where the hell did that come from?!” Fundy screeched out in revelation after barely managing to dodge an incoming arrow to the leg. Despite all efforts, Quackity realized their intentions and ran to pull the level. As he let out a joyous shout, y/n dropped their bow in fear, eyes trained on the falling anvil before it was meant to strike and scrambled to their feet. To their astonishment and utter relief, a faint, green glow emitted once Technoblade was supposedly killed. The Blood God had escape death. What a surprise.

Y/n watched as Technoblade climbed swiftly out of the cage and followed a green figure mounted on his horse through a tunnel hidden beneath a stone hill. They knew from pass whispers and Tommy’s harsh words that it was the warrior, Dream, having had only seen the daunting smiling face in a blur during the war. They were aware of the torment the man had caused to their family, both in the war and in Tommy’s exile.

Sliding down the tile roof, y/n jumped off the building and maneuvered their way down, ignoring the stare of their imprisoned father on top of the nearby balcony as the potion’s effects started to fade. They noticed Quackity trace the foot steps of Technoblade’s hooves, and stalked behind him as he entered the small hole. Pausing before leaping in themself, y/n looked up to see Dream already staring down at them, arms crossed and in wait.

He stared at them expectantly, which made y/n’s patience wear thin once hearing Quackity lowly state how he planned to kill Technoblade then and there. Narrowing their eyes in annoyance, y/n gave Dream a final glare and blocked off the entrance once entering.

They pulled out their axe and treaded quietly down the tunnel before pausing behind the broken wall to an old vault full of chests.

“—nd I don’t care how long it fucking takes me, or what I have to do to get you, Techno. I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“I just have on question, Quackity.” Technoblade paused as Quackity asked him to continue.

“Do you think you’re enough, to kill me? Even unarmed, with iron armor?” They both ever so slightly gripped their weapons tighter, stance shifted as they prepared to fight.

“You know what? Let’s fucking find out, you son of a bitch!” Their weapons clashed as they dodged the blow from one another. Quackity delivered each blow with blind determination while Technoblade played defense with each graceful side step. Eventually, Technoblade knocked his pickaxe into his face, Quackity yelping in pain and holding a hand to cover the wound.

When turning his back to move further down the tunnel, Technoblade risked leaving himself vulnerable to the crazed butcher. Quackity stood despite his injury and tried to attack him from behind.

Y/n took the opportunity to run towards him, axe prepared to strike. Before Quackity could turn to defend himself, y/n swung the axe into his neck. Blood instantly pooled at the cut as he struggled to breathe, and y/n ripped their blade from his flesh. He fell to his knees while grasping helplessly at his wound, choking on his blood before falling to the side.

While they had a distaste for violence, unlike their brother, y/n couldn’t excuse the attempted murder of their family by any means.

Technoblade stared in reverence, eyes darting between Quackity’s slump figure and his sibling covered in an excessive amount of blood from the attack. Y/n stepped forward and grabbed a lead from their belt, having previously found it abandoned in the snow. No words were exchanged as they silently pulled Carl through the sewer system, blood casually staining the water as they walked through. Technoblade only spoke once they reach the surface.

“Pog.”

And we'll be carrying each other

Until we say goodbye on our dying day

“Are you alright, y/n?”

Broken sobs become shuddered breathes as y/n hears the voice of their late brother. They lifted their eyes from beneath their arms that held their legs together while pushed against the very corner of the room, their current position reminding Ghostbur how small anyone could look when upset. Ghostbur slightly frowned at their lack of response, floating closer to them to observe their tears, lighting the space slightly with a soft glow.

“What’s wrong?” Despite the innocence behind his echoed voice, y/n couldn’t help the pain from hearing his concern. “Nothing that matters, Ghostbur. Nothing that anyone could fix anyway.”

Ghostbur didn’t like that response, refusing to believe that sadness could exist without a solution to bring an end to despair. He reached into his pocket, hands carefully holding some dye out towards y/n.

Y/n tilted their head in confusion, tears having stopped running but still present. “What is it?”

“It’s blue! Here, here, take some.” Ghostbur placed the colored substance into their cupped palms, explaining its significance with a gentle smile. “See, when someone is very angry or sad, the blue sucks away all your sadness and turns blue! And what you can do, is you can throw the blue away, and that’s all your sadness gone.”

Although strange and futile, y/n couldn’t help the smile form on their face from Ghostbur’s clarification. Ghostbur gasped excessively, causing y/n to chuckle lightly. “It worked! Do you feel better now, y/n? I have more blue if you need as well!” Pulling an incredible amount that began to pile on the floor in front of them, y/n giggled at the sight.

Y/n wiped their eyes with the back of their hand, breathing in and out to recollect themself. “Thank you, Ghostbur. Never change your wonderful self.” The ghost grinned brightly at that.

“Of course, Y/n! Never change your caring self either!”

Oh brother, we'll go deeper than the ink

Beneath the skin of our tattoos

“I have to ask, Y/n. Why choose them?” Y/n stood before Dream in their kitchen, the man having had shown up unannounced at their front door and began asking vague questions.

“What do you mean?” Y/n was unnerved by his demeanor, never having held a conversation, let alone utter a word, with him before despite small, yet silent encounters. They refused to show discomfort, though they didn’t have a mask to cover every waver in their voice or their jaw visibly tighten.

“Oh, you know.” He turned to walk around the small living space, hand skimming over a chest surface before continuing to speak ominously. “Time and time again, I’ve seen you run and fall to your knees for your so-called family. Yet as time continues on, I’ve seen them give you nothing in return.” He paused and faced them again. “What’s the point of saving something that does nothing but hold you down?”

Though we don't share the same blood

Y/n crossed their arms in defiance, finally understanding his intentions and glowered at his objective.

“You wouldn’t understand, Dream. Even if you tried.” He looked confused at their response, tilting his head slighting while his masked continued the same haunting smile. Y/n smirked.

“Your seen weakness gives me strength. I fight for everything because of them. Your lack of attachment leaves you nothing to gain.” Dream bent forward in mocking interest, though y/n knew better than to give in. “Is that so?”

“You tell me. Who will come running to your aid when your lies eventually catch up, and everyone realizes the things you’ve planned behind their backs?”

“I have my ways. Ways that insure I’ll have people on my side when I need.”

Y/n scowled before stepping forwards, leaning into his face. “Say whatever you need to say to comfort the idea of your downfall. I don’t care about you or your motives, leave my family alone or I will personally see to it you meet your expected end before its fated to happen.” Dream let out an amused breath in response. “Is that a threat?”

“It’s a promise."

You're my brother and I love you that's the truth

#dream smp x reader #dream smp x you #dream smp fanfiction #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x you #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x you #technoblade x reader #technoblade x you #sbi x reader #sbi x you #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #brother!tommy x reader #brother!wilbur x reader #brother!technoblade x reader #sbi x gn!reader

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

Text

MC’s Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Lessons 18-20

Series Masterlist

T-the season finale… *sniffle* it’s been a wild ride y’all… I’ve never actually written and stuck through with something for so long, so this is a real achievement for me! I really hope you guys have enjoyed this completely weird fluffy/angsty/mildly crackhead adventure! Please enjoy the last part!

All is well, the family is back together, everyone’s fine, the school year is almost over-

Wait, the school year is almost over?

Upon realizing that, everyone settled into a state of mild panic.

MC couldn’t just leave, they were part of the family! An integral part! They were the only thing keeping everyone from murdering each other during family game night!

As for Lucifer’s personal feelings on the matter, things were… tough.

When the exchange program was announced, Lucifer expected it to end like most of Diavolo’s ideas: annoying to clean up, it certainly couldn’t have ended worse than when he and the Crown Prince ended up getting cursed to hold hands for 25 hours straight. What Lucifer didn’t expect was for a child he didn’t even know he had to end up as the human exchange student and for his entire life to be thrown out of whack. That child of his was busy finishing up their final paper of the year.

“Hey, father,” MC looked up from their paper with a cheeky smile. “Do you think that the next exchange student will be as fun as me?”

“I sincerely hope not.” Lucifer sighed, continuing to sift through his paperwork on his desk. “Your kind of ‘excitement’ has completely worn me out.”

“Aw,” MC giggled, then went back to work. “So you don’t want me to stay here then?”

Lucifer stiffened and looked up from his paperwork. “Don’t put words in my mouth, MC.”

“So you do want me to stay. Interesting~” MC said as they began to sweep the eraser shavings off their paper. “Well, if you want me to stay so badly, you could have just asked.”

“P-pardon?” Lucifer blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. “You want to stay?”

“Since you’d be so sad without me, I guess I just have to don’t I?” MC stood suddenly and slapped their finished essay on Lucifer’s desk. “The sacrifices I make for this family, I swear!”

We stand with you, MC, sacrifice your sanity for your weird-ass familia.

Anyway, Lucifer was thrilled that MC wanted to stay with him in the Devildom, the problem was… MC’s other parent may not have been too keen to just give up their baby.

You know, the demon child they raised all by themselves, with no help from Lucifer because he didn’t know MC existed…

Someone get MC’s ren on the phone! Stat!

“Alright dear little brothers of mine, listen closely because I’m not repeating this.” Lucifer looked over the living room couches at the other six rulers of hell. Belphie was sprawled out on one of the couches and was drooling all over Beel’s lap, Satan was making a point to look as disinterested as possible and kept sneaking glances at the book he was holding, and Mammon was wrestling Levi dangerously close to where Asmo was filing his nails.

Sighing in defeat, Lucifer continued. If any of his brothers misbehaved he couldn’t say he didn’t warn them. “MC‘s parent will be coming to visit.”

Everyone’s attention snapped to Lucifer. Wonderful.

“They’ll be staying for a few days and will decide if it’s in MC’s best interest to primarily stay in the Devildom from now on.”

Asmodeus slowly raised a hand. “Luciiiiiiferrrr!”

“Asmo, is your question overly personal in nature?”

The Avatar of lust brought a manicured nail to his cheek and daintily tapped it. “Mmm… I don’t think so.”

“Ask.”

“How long were you and MC’s parent dating for? Won’t it be awkward to be around your ex?”

Lucifer dragged a gloved hand down his face. “It was a one night thing.”

“Really?” Asmo knitted his eyebrows in confusion. “It wasn’t a long drawn out forbidden romance? You must have had some Olympic swimmers down there!”

“Okay!” Lucifer clapped his hands. “Add that to the list of things Asmo is not allowed to say.”

“We have to take something off the list then…” Beel said through handfuls of chips. “The list’s full.”

“Fine,” Lucifer grumbled. “He can say [CENSORED] again.”

“Yippee! [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]”

The group collectively groaned as Asmo continued to spout his profane nonsense.

“What did I just walk in on..?” MC stood in the doorway to the living room, still in their PJs.

“Oh, MC, your parent’s coming over to stay for a few days.” Lucifer quickly explained.

MC’s face morphed from confusion to horror. “What does that have to do with [CENSORED]?!”

This house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE-

Anyway, after the initial confusion/horror, MC got really excited and rushed off to get ready. Meanwhile, the boys solemnly swore that they would be on their best behaviour!

Everyone needed to convince MC’s parent that everything in the Devildom was perfectly safe and that their little hellspawn was in good responsible hands.

Mammon tried to come up with a plan in case MC wasn’t allowed to stay with them, and let’s just say it involved kidnapping. But like- a chill kind of kidnapping where MC would be totally fine.

This idea was immediately shot down in favour of Beel’s plan B.

Beel would just… eat MC’s parent. No biggie, right?

Lucifer shot that one down the moment he heard it.

The only accepted plan for if MC wasn’t allowed to stay was just letting them go. They’d visit the Devildom. A lot. Many visits would be necessary.

So, the hour of MC’s ren’s arrival had come, and the student council assembled to greet them.

Greet the human. The completely non magical human. Greet them and then let them see the Devildom…

Was this exchange program really that good of an idea..?

MC frantically attempted to do some last minute fixes to their hair as they sat themselves down in their seat in the Assembly Hall. Ugh… stupid hair…

“Why are you so nervous?” Satan asked. “Is our visitor a neat freak basket case?”

“No!” MC huffed. “They’re not! I’m just making myself presentable so they don’t think I’ve gone completely feral down here.”

“Well, feral no, crazy, yes. Have you seen yourself lately?” Belphie snickered.

“SHUT UP BELPHIE.”

“Would you all be quiet?” Lucifer snapped. “You’re all acting like children.”

“I am a child.” MC snapped back. “What’s Belphie’s excuse?”

Belphie’s retort was cut off by the portal opening and a figure leisurely floating to the ground. They had an open parasol in their right hand that seemed to be aiding their gentle descent, and a large container full of what smelled like cookies tucked into their left side. The moment their toes touched the floor, the human gracefully closed their parasol and gave the assembled demons a sparkling smile and a polite bow.

“Thank you for allowing me the honour to visit,” the human’s voice was as soft and sweet as Cotton candy. “It’s a pleasure to officially meet the princes of hell themselves.”

:D yay!

After floating down from the sky like Mary Poppins, MC lost all sense of propriety and ran over to tackle their ren into a hug. It was that kind of thing where you really miss someone but you don’t realize exactly how much until you get to see them again.

Lucifer was, of course, the picture of elegance and “this isn’t awkward at all”-ness.

MC’s parent didn’t even seem to be all that concerned with the fact that their baby daddy was, y'know, LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR. THE MOST POMPOUS FUCKWAD IN THE DEVILDOM.

Please don’t tell him I said that, he’s still mad about the Go Fund Me…

MC was absolutely ecstatic to finally show their parent how much they’ve grown in terms of their demonic powers and all the friends they had made, but MC’s ren was more concerned with how much they had grown in terms of their height.

“You’re just so tall now,” MC’s ren giggled as they fixed their child’s hair. “You’ll get things off of shelves for me, won’t you?”

“Yeah yeah,” MC said, rolling their eyes good naturedly. “Like you can’t reach anything in your kitchen.”

“Okay,” Mammon, Satan, Levi, Belphie, and Beel were lagging behind Lucifer, MC, their parent, and Diavolo. “Change of plans, we ain’t eatin’ ‘em, we’re keepin’ ‘em.”

“We were never going to eat them in the first place, idiot.” Satan sneered. “And what’s with the change of tune? You were ready to wage war on the human world fifteen minutes ago.”

“…cookies happened.” Mammon mumbled. He had only gotten one of the human’s totally amazing offerings before Beel proceeded to eat everything. The cookie was perfect… so delicious…

“I say we keep the human.” Beel put a hand on his stomach. “I want more human world cookies.”

“They’re so cute too…” Asmo cooed. “A solid 10/10, and that’s such a rare ranking coming from the only 20/10 in existence!”

“Asmo, your vanity never ceases to make me want to roll over and-” Belphie’s insult was interrupted by him passing out and letting out a cartoonishly loud snore. It was a good thing Beel was able to quickly catch and throw Belphie over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

“Asmo has a point, they’re just so totally moe! Kawaii to the highest degree! That parasol, the homemade cookies, it’s just like something from a slice of life anime!” Levi squee-ed.

“So it’s settled, we treat ‘em nice, then we get ‘em to stay.” Mammon nodded to the rest of his brothers, who for the first time in the Demon King knows how long, his little brothers nodded back in full seriousness. They were actually doing a Mammon plan! Holy shit!

So, the brothers liked MC’s ren, what about Diavolo and Barbatos?

Well, MC’s ren had heard all about Barbatos’ amazing cooking from MC and Barb’s totally outstanding reputation, so the two got along swimmingly.

Dia. Loved. That. Human. They’re cute???? They’re sweet???? They brought COOKIES???! They don’t seem to be afraid of him at all????? Please be the exchange student next year :D

Oh yeah… he made a rule that said they couldn’t summon someone with kids… it would be cruel to rip a parent away from their child…

But apparently not a child away from their parent cough cough

Other than the uncle squad, MC’s ren got to meet the Purgatory Hall gang too!

MC was being just the most adorable tour guide, but that didn’t stop Lucifer from having a miniature heart attack any time a demon even looked at MC’s parent the wrong way. If MC’s ren got attacked or felt threatened in any way shape or form, he could say bye bye to his time with the one person in the HOL that didn’t live to make him pop a forehead vein. The human seemed outwardly unconcerned with any Devildom oddness and was amicably chatting with Diavolo while MC pulled them from place to place.

“And that’s Hell’s Kitchen, they have good sandwiches, and that’s Madame Scream’s, they have really good macarons.” MC helpfully pointed out the places as they passed them.

A much to familiar trio of voices called out from down the street. Father dammit, why were they here..?

“Hello Lucifer, what are you all up too?” Ugh… Simeon…

“From the sight of the rest of your brothers skulking about, it appears like they’re acting as bodyguards.” Solomon…

“MC? Who’s that?”

Oh good grief… that nasally little voice… the chihuahua was near… Now… Lucifer was a respectable demon… respectable demons don’t tease children in front of the parent of their child…

“Hello chihuahua.”

DAMN IT HE COULDN’T HELP HIMSELF!

“I’m not a chihuahua you demon!” Luke yapped.

MC’s parent daintily tilted their head and looked over at MC. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

“Right, Luke, this is my ren, ren, this is a chihuahua.” MC grinned cheekily as they gestured between the two. Lucifer suppressed a laugh which resulted in a very ugly snort. It was a good thing the sound was drowned out by Luke’s exclamations of betrayal.

The chorus of “how could you?!”s and “I thought you were over that awful nickname!”s was put to an abrupt halt when the visiting human elegantly offered a handshake to the fuming angel.

“MC spoke very highly of you,” they chirped. “It’s very nice to meet you, Luke.”

Luke blinked a few times, then quickly straightened his posture, adjusted his hat, then shook MC’s ren’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“That’s Simeon.” MC jerked a thumb in Simeon’s direction. “And that’s Solomon.”

“Luke got a whole introduction and we get that? Come on MC, I thought we were friends.” Solomon fake pouted at MC after giving a polite nod to MC’s parent.

“We stopped being friends after one of the potions you had me test out turned me into a-” as quick as lighting, Mammon had shoved his hand into MC’s face.

“A-ah, MC’s rememberin’ stuff wrong, nothin’ potion related happened to ‘em. Right, Solomon???!”

Taking the hint from Mammon, Solomon smiled and nodded. “Nope, nothing related to turning MC into a frog for a few hours.”

“Hm, well I’m quite happy that absolutely nothing frog transformation related happened.” MC’s parent said.

“Yeah, must’ve hit their head on somethin- YEEEOW!” MC had bitten down on Mammon’s hand and slapped it away from them.

“I did not hit my head on anything!”

“Yeah,” Beel nodded. “Nothing’s hit them since the Fangol ball.”

“The what ball?” MC’s ren asked.

“The Fangol ball that hit MC a few months back and broke their glasses.” Five of the brothers slapped their hands to their foreheads.

“Oh my…”

“Eh,” MC patted their ren on the arm. “That’s nothing compared to the giant snake at the retreat.”

“Oh! Do you mind letting me tell that story, MC?”

Lucifer was frantically signalling for Diavolo to stop talking but the crown prince was already beginning his retelling of the events. Luke would chime in with an anecdote from an even worse misadventure the two had gone out on every once and a while. This… this wasn’t going well at all…

MC’s ren was… weirdly chill about the whole thing…

“Oh, it’s so nice that you’re having fun, sweetheart. That reminds me of when I was young and your aunt Clytemnestra and I would go out and have adventures.” “Really? You went on weird adventures too?” “…what kind of adventures could possibly compare to being chased by a giant snake in an underground labyrinth..?”

The side characters ended up needing to abscond for various reasons and all that was left was the brothers, MC, and MC’s parent.

They made it to the HOL without issue, which is when Lucifer remembered that he did not put all the cursed objects out of reach… shit.

“Asmo… Asmo!” “What is it?” “Take MC’s ren out of the house in half an hour, keep them occupied in the living room!” “What? Why?” “I need more time to human-proof the house! Distract them, but no funny business!” “Dear brother, for the first time in a very long time funny business is the second thing on my mind! Wait… no, it’s the third… what have I become..?”

Asmo and Satan, super graciously by the way, led MC and their ren to the living room to distract- I mean entertain them for a bit!

Lucifer and the rest of the gang got to work moving certain things around and closing certain doors- shit where was Cerberus?! Did Lucifer forget to walk him that morning?!

So much to dooooooo…

So maybe bringing a human into Majolish and letting them roam around unsupervised wasn’t the best idea Satan and Asmo had, but it sure as heck was an idea. MC looked through shelves of hairpins and bracelets while their ren disappeared around a corner to look at scarves.

“We’re doing such a great job babysitting!” Asmo clapped his hands. “If MC had just been a normal human I bet they’d last the entire year under our care.”

“Hm, you might be right.” Satan smiled and nodded. “Humans are surprisingly entertaining.”

“Yes… speaking of, where exactly is the human?”

The sudden sound of metal slamming against flesh and the delayed sound of something incredibly heavy hitting the floor jolted Asmo and Satan from their conversation.

“Honestly, some people have no fucking manners!”

It was such a different voice than what Satan and Asmo were used to that the only thing that tipped them off to it being MC’s ren was the fact that MC began to giggle. MC’s ren stepped back into view carrying a metal staff that quickly transformed back to their parasol.

Asmo and Satan rushed over to check if their defenceless little human guest was okay, only to find some lesser demon passed out on the floor with an incredibly nasty bump on the side of their head.

“I’ve heard that humans are apparently quite delicious to demons but I didn’t expect someone to actually try and eat me.”

“I-um…” Satan sputtered, looking from Asmo to MC’s parent. “We’re uh…”

“You alright, ren?” MC called from over by the bracelet shelves.

“Yes, I’m alright.” MC’s ren gave the fourth and fifth born a calming smile. “No harm done, well, except to that poor bastard. I do hope I haven’t killed him… that would be such a nasty thing for the poor sales associates to find.”

Okay so maybe the defenceless human wasn’t so defenceless. That was a good thing… right?

“So where exactly did you manage to get your hands on such a weapon..?” “Ah, I come from a family of witches. This was a college graduation present.”

…doit doit seems legit.

The four made it back home just in time, Lucifer and the others had finished human proofing the house.

Yay!

The house tour went by smoothly, everything was all well and good until Beel and Belphie asked MC’s ren to make more cookies.

Oh god dammit the human said they would.

“Oh Beel, you shouldn’t eat the cookie dough raw… the eggs and raw flour will make you sick!” “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Besides, it’s best not to interrupt Beel while he’s eating.” “Yeah it might end like the custard incident.” “Custard… incident?” “MC and Mammon ate my custard and I ended up breaking the wall that connected to MC’s room.” “Hunger tantrums, am I right?”

After that it was Mammon and Levi’s turn to babysit. It went about as well as you’d think.

Levi explained some anime plot in an attempt to make it seem like the Devildom was totally safe and that MC and their ren could stay forever no problem, while Mammon desperately suppressed the urge to swipe the cool parasol.

Finally, it was time for the verdict. Would MC be allowed to stay in the Devildom..? Or would they go back to the human world..?

“Lucifer?”

The demon in question looked up from his paperwork and tried to nod in the most casual way possible. MC’d ren was standing in the doorway, Lucifer must have missed their knock. “Yes? Do you need something?”

MC’s ren smiled and nodded. “It’s about MC’s living situation going forward.”

Lucifer stiffened and got up from his desk. “Y-yes… what about it?”

“MC has expressed that they want to stay here full time with frequent visits to the human world.” The softness that their voice had earlier in the day was completely absent as the human stepped forward into the study and closed the door behind them. “I want to know what you think about that.”

“Well,” Lucifer cleared his throat and tried to shake off the stupid sense of nervousness that had wrapped itself around him. A weak little human’s decision should not make him so anxious! “I would like for MC to stay here as well, I think it would be best for them.”

The human raised an eyebrow and twirled their parasol in their hand. “Really now? In your year with them you truly believe you know what’s best for them?”

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed. “Yes. I do.”

MC’s ren went quiet for a few seconds before replying. “I see.”

“And that means..?”

“I knew this day would come, but I didn’t think it’d be so soon.” MC’s ren sighed, and for the first time all day, they actually let their exhaustion show. “I raised MC knowing that one day they’d end up in the Devildom. They’ve told me over and over again how much they like it down here…” the human took a deep breath and slowly shook their head. “If this is what they want… then I give my permission for them to stay with you.”

A wave of relief swept over Lucifer as he finally took a breath. “Thank you.”

“Mm… I’m going to have to use my favour though.”

The relief completely vanished as the Avatar of Pride’s blood ran cold. Memories flooded back from the one night the pair had spent together, the human had offered a cursed record to him that he had spent decades trying to find, in exchange, Lucifer let them have one favour. A favour from a demon was like a single pact order, Lucifer had to do literally anything this human wanted.

“Protect MC, even if it costs you your life.” The human’s words were careful and measured as Lucifer felt the order sink in. “You’ll do that for them, right Lucifer?”

Lucifer nodded as life flooded back into his limbs. “I would have done it without the order.”

So, the brother’s plan to make MC’s ren stay forever failed because they were going back to the human world with MC for summer vacation. Listen, it was needed, MC needed to see the sun lest they shrivel like a sad houseplant.

At least Lucifer technically had primary custody of his little heathen! Victory!

MC said their goodbyes to the friends they had made over the year as they prepared to leave for the next two months, it was filled with so many bone-crushing hugs that MC was surprised that their spine didn’t snap.

MC and Luke had lagged behind the much larger group as they made their way to the assembly hall. MC’s ren was dazzling the miniature crowd with stories of just how adorable MC was as a little kid. The half demon rolled their eyes and silently mourned the loss of any cool points they had gained over the year. Their little companion was oddly quiet, MC lightly nudged him and smiled.

“Aren’t you happy to be going home? You’ve been griping about being stuck down here the entire year. Don’t tell me you’re getting sappy, Luke.”

Luke puffed his cheek out and crossed his arms. “Of course I’m happy to be leaving, the Celestial Realm is the best place ever, the Devildom is completely terrible in every way.”

MC smirked and rolled their eyes again. Just let the little guy go on his rant…

“But… I am going to miss you…” Luke mumbled, MC’s eyebrows shot upwards as they turned their head to look at him. “Th-thanks for being my friend down here… MC. You’re… you’re really nice.”

To their absolute horror, MC felt a lump form in their throat. Oh dear Grandfather… the chihuahua was what broke them?! They quickly looked around to see if anyone was paying attention, then quickly pulled Luke into a hug. The hug was over as fast as it began, but it seemed that Luke didn’t particularly care and was more shocked at the sudden bout of affection.

“If anyone, and I mean anyone asks, I didn’t hug you.” MC murmured, quickly swiping at their eyes.

Luke nodded, a small smile spread across his face. “Got it!”

So the side characters left… *sniffle* everything’s okay… the DDDs work in any of the realms… they could still talk.

Soon, it was time for the final sets of goodbyes…

“Come on, Bean, we’re going to the human world!” MC tried to take the cat from Satan, who didn’t move a muscle.

“If you think you’re taking the cat from here, you’re delusional.” Satan’s smile didn’t leave his face, but the force behind his words was almost enough to make MC back off. Almost…

“My caaaaaat!” MC whined, they ended up getting lightly pushed away by Satan.

“Remember, the summer’s a good time to catch up on anime!” Levi advised. “There’s 24 hours in a day, and an average anime episode is 22 minutes long, you have loads of time!”

“I’ll keep up with my anime only if you promise to listen to the Death Note musical, Levi.” MC giggled and patted Levi on the shoulder.

“Remember MC, take care of your cuticles and your skin.” Asmo took MC’s hand and checked their fingernails. “They were an absolute mess before you got here, so I expect you to keep up your routines this summer!”

“Yeeeeeeeeeeees siiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrr.”

“Bye MC,” Beel handed MC a half opened cup of custard. “I almost ate it, but I didn’t. Make sure you don’t skip any meals this summer.

MC jumped up and gave Beel a quick hug. “Thanks Beel! I’ll be sure to enjoy the custard!”

“Bye, MC. See you next year.” Belphie stood awkwardly stiff, not exactly sure what to do. MC pursed their lips, then quickly wrapped him up in a hug.

“Bye Belphie, I hope all your pillow forts are structurally unsound.”

The avatar of sloth snickered and rested his head on MC’s. “I hope you get really comfortable and are fully ready to go to sleep, then realize you have to pee.”

MC gasped in fake offence and swatted Belphie on the arm.

Mammon put both his hands on MC’s shoulders, his face unusually serious. “Do ya remember what the great Mammon took painstakin’ effort to teach ya?”

“Payday loans are scams, witches are scary, bowline knots are the easiest to undo, don’t wear reflective sunglasses to a poker game aaaaaaaand…” MC grinned mischievously. “Any plan thought up by the Great Mammon should be subject to intense revision.”

“That’s ri- hey!” Mammon laughed and shoved MC towards Lucifer.

MC looked up at Lucifer, the pride demon looked down at them fondly. He reached out and gently ruffled their hair. “I’ll see you next year, MC.”

“Y-yeah…”

Lucifer crouched down slightly to get to their level and gave MC a smile. “I’m very proud of you, you’ve been an immense help this year. Thank you for everything.”

“Thanks for not being a stereotypical supervillain dad, father.” MC smiled softly and fixed their glasses. “Loveyoubye!”

MC turned and rushed to their ren’s side as Lucifer let out a soft chuckle.

“I love you too, MC.”

As Barbatos readied the portal to send the pair to the human world, MC couldn’t wipe the grin off their face. Geez, if this year was a metric mess of fun and insanity… what was the next year going to be like? The half demon’s grin morphed into a bit of a smirk. No way in hell their next year in the Devildom was going to be as insane as their first year.

MC almost giggled as they gave their family one last wave. That wasn’t the time to think about the future, besides, MC knew that it would take two insane chaotic humans to be summoned into the Devildom to even come close to the chaos MC managed to create, both on purpose and by accident.

And what were the odds of that happening?

——————

Authors Note: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS DONE SEASON ONE IS DONE!

I wasn’t able to fit the Anti Lucifer League stuff into this one, I’ll put it in a separate fic later!

I NOW NEED TO WORK ON GETTING THROUGH SEASON 2 IN THE ACTUAL GAME. To get mildly serious for a second, thanks to everyone who has stuck around to listen to me spout my fic-y nonsense, you all are nerds (affectionate) and I love you.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date #Obey me Headcanons #Obey me fic #Obey me! Headcanons #Obey me MC #Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Mammon #obey me beelzebub #Obey me Belphegor #obey me leviathan #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me Satan #Obey me Luke

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arty-shadow-morningstar · 3 years

Text

Graveyard Siblings (5)

[Masterlink] (PART 1) (PART 4)

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Mari and Cass sometimes switch their suits as they have the same body type. Cass would sometimes go out in full Hellbat gear and give the appearance that Hellbat is out more often than she actually is.

So Orphan/Black Bat also sometimes uses guns.

This also helps with concealing secret identities. Maria was rescued by Hellbat from Joker’s Henchmen. (Vicki Vale was getting sus of the new Wayne and Hellbat.)

Unfortunately since Hellbat rarely comes out and she had already made all of her appearance for the month and it wasn’t a busy weekend, the public had come to the conclusion that Hellbat has a crush on the newest Wayne.

Basically everyone thought that Mari has a crush on herself. Which led to some teasing and escalated to Mari announcing that Jason had a crush on Red Hood on live TV.

It didn’t help that a video of Red Hood and Jason re-enacting Romeo and Juliet with Jason on his apartment balcony and Red Hood on the roof was posted on the internet a few days later. (Thank you, Trixx and Tim’s awesome video editing skills)

Sadly, it was taken down 24 hours later. (Tim and the others have multiple copies of it, on the cloud or hardware, hidden around in the manor and their respective safehouses in the US.)

Some people kidnapped Jason to hopefully gain leverage over the Red Hood and to their dismay and nightmares for years to come, Hellbat came instead.

One lucky and incredibly brave reporter asked why she was there instead of her brother.

Mari being a little shit, “Red Hood may be a tough and scary guy but when it comes to his feelings, my brother is a chicken.”

Pictures of Jason tackling Hellbat somehow never made it into any papers.

The criminal underworld hasn’t taken a hint and Jason has been kidnapped a few more times.

Other times Jason was kidnapped:

Robin: Red Hood made a fool of himself in front of Todd recently and he doesn’t dare to show his face.

Spoiler: He was taking too damn long checking his hair even though I told him that no one was going to see it under his helmet and he was so offended that he is currently sulking in the bathroom.

Red Robin: Red Hood can’t think straight when he is around Jason. I mean have you seen the dude.

Arsenal*during a rare visit to Gotham*: Red Hood owes me one now.

Dick finally ends it by going out as Red Hood and rescuing Jason. Gotham is happy that Redson (Red Hood x Jason) ship has finally sailed.

-------

Kate, Babs, Cass, Steph and Mari were out on Mari’s first girls’ night since her move to the manor.

This is set a little after she came back from Paris with Jason.

They watched rom-com movies, did hair and nails, gossip about the superhero community and bitch and vent to each other.

Marinette off-handedly mentioned the crazy shits she had done during her stint as Ladybug. It started with asking about the T-rex in the Batcave and she mentions jumping into the mouth of a live one before.

Everyone in the room was shocked and after a few more questions, it was obvious that she was very reckless and self-sacrificing. Yep, she was going to fit into this crazy family just fine.

And Holy Shit. There is so much trauma packed into this kid. She needs lots of therapy.

Babs finally decided that they all needed to get out and have some fun. All in their respective suits and they went out.

Joined by Harley, Ivy and Selina.

Plagg came along because I want Plagg to meet Selina.

It was a chaotic night and it was a miracle that Bruce didn’t find out about what the girls did.

-------

Batman and Red Hood were on patrol together when Selina jumped in front of them.

“Hello, Boys”

“What do you want, Catwoman?”

“I want to meet my new prodigy, Kitty Noire.”

Cue Marinette jumping down from her hiding spot, transformed with the Black Cat Miraculous. “Hiya.”

Red Hood carries her like a potato sack and points his gun at the other two.

“Nope, she’s my sister and I called dibs. I adopted her. She’s off limits.”

“Legally, she’s mine.” Batman coughed out.

“I did it first. Emotionally. She’s my emotional support sister. You have plenty kids already, B and Selina, get your own.”

“Hey, I am still here and can hear you.”- Maria

-------

Alya was worried for Lila. She had been acting weirdly for the past month.

She looked very out of sorts. Her clothes weren’t in order and her hair was in disarray. She had bags under her eyes and her eyes looked wild. Lila didn’t look like herself at all.

She jumped at any sound and flinched at really sudden movements.

Alya tried to find out what was wrong with Lila and received vague answers.

One time Lila said that Marinette is to blame.

Alya reaches the somewhat right conclusion that Marinette was haunting Lila and hurting her because Lila used to come to school with bruises and claims that Marinette did it.

Alya goes to Marinette’s grave to desecrate it. (Yeah, go anger the ghost that is haunting someone.)

Unfortunately, the moment she tries to do something, the sky turns dark, clouds appear and the wind begins whipping. A Lightning strike near her and there was a cloaked figure beside her with a scythe.

All Alya saw from the figure was the blood-red lips in a very sharp grin and glowing blue eyes, raising the scythe high before she ran away. The scythe swiped the air where her head once was.

Alya didn’t get far before she tripped and blacked out.

When she woke up, she found herself in the hospital with no idea how she got there.

She was told that somebody found her with a concussion in the park and took her to the hospital.

------

The next one on Mari’s hit list was Natalie.

She wasn’t as involved in the whole thing like Lila, Adrien or Gabriel but she still did it anyways.

Her punishment is a little mild compared to the others and was more of a warning to Gabriel.

Natalie woke up in the middle of the night to see a not-so-dead Ladybug sitting on her vanity chair with the moonlight from the windows illuminating her body and her neck. Her suit was torn exactly like the day of that battle with blood dripping down her arms and from her open wounds. The shadows kept her face hidden but glowing blue eyes stared at her.

Natalie was scared at first. But she regained her normal cool composure.

“I assume you are here to extract your revenge for aiding in your unfortunate demise. But before you kill me, I regret my part in my entire thing and I apologize for everything I have done against you even though I knew it was wrong.”

“At least you show remorse over what you have done. Visiting my grave when even my parents didn’t and leaving flowers. I love those purple hyacinths by the way. Did you know that they mean sorry in the language of the flowers?”

“Why are you stalling my death? Just kill me already.”

“Madam Sancouer. You just played a minor role in my downfall compared to what Adrien and Lila Rossi did to me. And you showed more guilt over your actions than they ever did and Adrien claimed to have loved me. And like I have told the Bats, Death is too swift of a punishment.”

“Who are the bats?”

“None of your concern. You should be more concerned about yourself.”

“Lila sees the ghosts of her past and they haunt her. Adrien is in a living nightmare and has no control over his actions and is despised by everyone. What are you going to do to me?”

“Well, since you show some guilt over your actions, let me tell you a little secret. I am not dead. Not really. I mean I did die. But there was a spell in the grimoire that revived me. It took a few days to work.”

Marinette changed to her normal form. It was a little jarring to see an older Marinette Dupain-Cheng sitting on her vanity chair like it was a throne. The Ladybug suit and the wounds were gone. She looked a little familiar.

“Why are you telling me this? What was the point?” Natalie faltered as she wondered why the girl looked familiar. Marinette moved closer and her face was fully illuminated by the moonlight.

“I intend to take everything by which I mean everything from Gabriel Agreste for what he did.”

“M. Agreste just wanted his wife back. You just gave him your Miraculous, you would still have everything.”

“What difference would it make? Sure I had friends and family before but they turned out to be disappointing. I might have become a famous designer like I dreamed of and can't achieve because I died. Besides, he never said about wanting his wife to come back in his tedious monologues. For all we knew back then, he wanted them for world domination. He showed that he would end the world for them. For kwamis’ sake, he nearly started World War III, just for a pair of earring and a ring. He was willing to kill me to have her back. No wait, he did that too. If he actually read the translated grimoire or asked the Guardian or at least someone with magic for help instead or maybe used his head and made some who can heal as his champion using the Butterfly, we wouldn’t even be in this mess. Face it, Mme Sancour, your boss is a power-hungry and very controlling maniac who is also thankfully an idiot.”

“But- he- he just-. You are just a child, what do you know? M. Agreste knew what he was doing.”

“A child who had a normal life up until he tried to ruin it with his idiotic schemes and hiring Lila to do it. A child who had to fight a war on her own.”

“I am sorry you had to go through that but I doubt you and your little revenge rampage is going to solve anything.”

Ghostly Chains wrapped around Natalie’s body, squeezing tight like it was squeezing the life out of her.

“I was all for sparing you, you know. If you had actually listened to my side of the story, you would have spared from my ‘little revenge rampage’. This is going to be a little painful. Sorry about that.” In a tone that was definitely not sorry.

Pain coursed through Natalie’s body. Her skin crawled and itched as pitch back feathers grew out of it. Her bones turned to dust and reformed.

Where Natalie Sancour once was, there was a raven.

An omen of death and destruction for one Gabriel Agreste.

Marinette leaned down towards the raven. Natalie tried to peck her eye out but Marinette held the beak in a firm grip.

“Ah. ah ah. Luckily for you this is temporary. Mostly. Every night, you will assume this shape and each night the longer you will stay in this form. Slowly counting down the days until Gabriel’s downfall. Since you love helping him so much, you are going to help him know how long he has to live. The night you are a raven from sunset to sunrise, that sunrise starts the day Gabriel Agreste will be utterly destroyed.”

She released the beak and headed towards the window.

"Send him my regards."

With that, she was gone.

(Part 6)

#platonic jasonette #graveyard siblings #maribat #ml x dc #marinette meets the sirens

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