#my brother in law: literally brings the kid here tomorrow and the day after tomorrow bc my sister works all day

[omarfor-orchestra]

.

[lubdubsworld]

⋆⋆✵ Perfect Imperfections ✵⋆⋆

Chapter 1

Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content.

Rating : 21+

Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so )

Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism .

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

No one tells you how easy it is to imagine yourself in love with a beautiful man. Especially when you don’t have a clear understanding of what love actually is. 

When I met Jungkook, even knowing he was in love with my sister hadn’t done much to douse the flames of hope and attraction. He was a lot of things that other men in my life weren’t. Kind without being pitying. Concerned without being overbearing. He took care of me without making me feel helpless. And there was always such a thin line between these things that I found myself impressed by his ability to toe the line so well.

Jungkook took care of me without making me feel like a burden and I suppose, some part of me had assumed that this could, in due time turn into love. But I was clearly wrong.

Jungkook and Liza had been kissing in the hallway of their hotel room and someone had taken pictures. My father and his had managed to get them taken down but the news was already out, spreading like wildfire . My phone began ringing sometime around eight in the morning and hadn’t stopped. It was now a little past one in the afternoon and I felt queasy, despite the assurances that it was all being taken care of.

It was the pity in everyone’s face that I couldn’t bear.

I wasn’t hurt. Angry, yes? Upset? Of course. But I wasn’t hurt because there really was nothing to be hurt about. Jungkook didn’t love me. He was in love with my sister . He had made it clear, through his words and his actions, over and over again. At this point, I could see this debacle as nothing more than a possible way to get out of the marriage. Perhaps, my father would approve of a divorce?

I glanced at the article again.

The photo is just so annoyingly clear, I thought with a grimace. If it was a little blurry, I could convince myself it wasn’t him and her. But it was clear. That was my husband with his lips locked with my sister’s. Against my better judgment, I read the article again. It was a gossip column, of course there would be nothing good in there. But sometimes curiosity can be a persistent thing.

I felt my skin crawling as I realized that the phrases were all pretty true. There was no gossip here. Just plain facts.

And then my eyes reached the end of the article.

Of note is the fact that Jeon Jungkook’s wife is disabled and perhaps the virile young man is merely looking for pleasure he can’t find in his own marital bed.

I swallowed, quickly exiting the page and tossing the phone on the bed, away from me. I stared out of the window of our bedroom, the large doors left open to let air and sunlight in. There was a tall sycamore tree right outside out bedroom and the branches almost reached in and I stared at the rustling leaves, trying to scrub my mind clean of the words I’d just read.

But it was impossible.

It wasn’t something I hadn’t thought of. The stark difference between me and Jungkook, physically. He spent five days a week in the gym and they were right. He was a young man with healthy sexual appetites.

I’d never cheat on you. Jungkook’s voice from a week ago still echoed somewhere inside my skull.

I sighed, playing with my wedding ring.

I wasn’t a virgin when I married Jungkook. Hadn’t been one , when I got into the accident either. My then boyfriend, a tall strapping lit major had been a very sexual guy as well and our libidos had matched pretty well. But I’d been an athletic nineteen year old, able to bend like a pretzel at his whim and there was just endless time and endless stamina and just a whole lot of attraction . We had spent hours, exploring each other the way college kids do. Weekends in bed spent trying every possible permutation of sex positions and kinks and I’d discovered all the things I liked. All the things I didn’t.

But then the accident had happened and well, when you’re in crippling agony, sometimes sex takes the backseat. I’d been focused on my recovery, on making sure that I came out of this at least with the ability to walk and I’d succeeded. Burying the part of me that craved a man’s touch, it wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

And then Jungkook had happened.

Sex with Jungkook hadn’t been difficult. Not really. I wasn’t completely crippled after all but it was also nowhere near as exciting as it could be with someone who had full use of her legs. I knew that. It was kind of obvious. But I hadn’t dwelt too much on it because to be honest, Jungkook hadn’t looked like he’d minded. He had seemed to enjoy himself .

But then reading about how he probably hadn’t enjoyed it definitely stung.

Worse yet, probably half the country was reading it with me. I felt nauseous. Did no one think that they should have left the last part out of that article? It was terrible enough without adding that bit about me.

A faint buzzing made me turn to the bed.

I glanced at my phone as it rang, my father in law’s name prominent on the screen.

Showtime, I thought with a grimace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I suppose it was too much to hope for , expecting that boy  to keep his dignity. This is outrageous.” Mr. Jeon’s loud voice rang through the foyer of the house and I flinched, gripping the edge of the futon as Sana jumped a bit . She sat next to me, holding my hand carefully. Moral support I supposed but I was feeling entirely too blasé about the whole thing. None of this was unexpected, I thought miserably and I wasn’t feeling up to pretending otherwise.

“I still wish they’d talked to me about this.”

My brother in law’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. The man looked like he’d been dragged through hell and back and I felt a pang of genuine sympathy. He looked wrecked and it was obvious she was in love with my sister. Resentment coiled thick and deep inside me. Resentment and envy.

With no effort at all she had charmed both the Jeon brothers, I thought bitterly.

Jeon Jihyun looked absolutely stricken at the thought of losing his wife.  

“I’ve asked Lisa to take the first flight out. She called me this morning, hysterical. It was something done in the heat of the moment. She .. She’s very apologetic. I believe her and I’m willing to forgive her. We’re…. We’re thinking of starting a family together. ” He said softly and my stomach turned.

I felt my skin go ice cold as I wrapped my arms around myself. Shivering just a bit, I lightly squeezed Sana’s hand. She looked at me in askance and I had to swallow to get my voice out, throat dry. The words made me want to retch. I could imagine how Jungkook would take this news.

“Can you get me my shawl? It’s in the green room.” I said hoarsely.  She bowed before moving away from me and when I looked back up, Jihyun’s gaze caught mine.

“This must be hard on you.” He said softly and I flushed, staring down at my knees.

“Not like I can run from it. Literally or figuratively.” I smiled without mirth.

“Jungkook is …he’s just confused. He needs some time to sort himself out. I’ve asked him to take a break and come back to Seoul after a couple of weeks. The separation would do him some good.” Jihyun said quietly and I sighed before nodding. What else was I supposed to say to that anyway? There wasn’t much I could do, my influence on things almost nonexistent at this point.

“Are you going to give the boy a break, Jeon?” My father demanded, staring at Jungkook’s father who sighed.

“Yes. I’ve been trying to get these damned reporters off our back. They’re all over the place. And yes, I think Jungkook should stay in Japan for a while.  We’re starting a new distribution branch there and I wanted him to scout places and possible vendors. I’ll tell him to hash out all the details before coming back.”

His phone rang again and he excused himself . I watched him leave the room, trying to make sense of his words.

How long would it take to build a whole branch in Japan? I had no clue. But it could hardly be done in a few weeks, could it?

“That’s.. That’s a long time.” I said hesitantly and my father frowned.

“is that a problem?” he asked.

I sighed. There was no point keeping this to myself. I was supposed to go to the doctor’s tomorrow. And well, it would be better if they heard it from me first.

“I.. I’m pregnant.” I said quietly.

The silence that followed was deafening. I stared at the carpet, not able to bring myself to look up at them. I could guess, what I’d find there. It was what I always found in people’s faces.

“Oh, sweet child.” My father’s sigh made me look up and there it was. The pity. I felt sick to my stomach. Sana returned, settling the hand knit shawl over my shoulders and I wrapped it tight, before glancing at her in some desperation. She smiled reassuringly, settling next to me and gently taking my fingers in hers. The warmth grounded me for a second and when Jihyun growled, I stared at him.

“I… I didn’t know. Fuck, I’m going to kill Jungkook. This fucker…” Jihyung swore and my father sighed, clearly thinking hard.

“you can’t be staying alone now.” He said softly, sitting up and cracking his knuckles, and I swallowed. I wouldn’t bear it if they tried to take me back home. I had hated it there.

“ You must come back home with me.” He said softly but I quickly shook my head.

“ No.. No I won’t. I ��� Please.” I begged, the mere idea of going back to my childhood home a nightmare. My mother would kill me with just her sharp and vindictive words. I was in no shape to put up with her verbal and emotional abuse. It was one of the things that had made me agree to marry Jungkook in the first place.

“Well, you can’t stay here by yourself.” My father protested. I’ve been by myself my whole damn life, I wanted to scream.

“I’ll be fine. I have Sana and the others to help me.” I said tiredly. My father shook his head before turning to Jihyun again.

“Is Namjoon still working on his book?” My father asked him and Jihyun frowned. The name elicited a tug in my memory and I turned to stare at my father, confused.

“You remember him? He used to tutor you when you were hi High School.”

I had a brief flashback to dimples and almond shaped eyes. I remembered him vaguely. Very vaguely. But nowhere well enough to want him to live with me, alone or not.  

“Dad…” I protested but he held a hand up to silence me, nodding at Jihyun .

“Namjoon? Kim Namjoon? ” He shook his head. “ I’m not sure. Why?”

“I think it would be good if he moves in here. His father was telling me that he was looking for a place to stay, now that he’s moved back to Korea. ” My father said softly, staring at me and I stiffened.

“Father…” I began desperately and my father shook his head.

“Don’t argue. He was a dear friend of yours. I don’t think you should be alone at a time like this. And I think Jungkook would approve. Like Jihyun said, the kid needs some space to sort himself out. Let him finish whatever business is going on in Japan.” My father glanced at Mr. Jeon who looked at me with guilt.

“I owe you an apology , on behalf of my idiot son.”

I looked away, not sure what to say to that. I hated the man quite passionately. Jungkook wasn’t perfect… far from it. But this man had taken a sledgehammer to my husband’s mind and heart at every turn. The disdain, the condescension, the sick way he favored his brother over him, the way nothing Jungkook did was ever good enough. It had all taken a toll on my husband. I had watched it chip away at Jungkook’s self confidence, at his mental health.

“I think more than anything, you owe an apology to your son. You knew he was in love with Lisa and yet…. You forced him to marry me.” I said quietly and the room went eerily quiet. My father rounded on me , eyes blazing.

“Leah!!! Apologize, now!” He roared and I looked away.

“You’re all the same. Ungrateful and entitled.” Mr. Jeon said sharply, before turning to his son. “ I’m leaving Jihyun-ah. Tell me when that wife of yours get home. I want to talk to her.”

He shared a half hug with my father before stalking off and my father grabbed his jacket as well.

“I’ll leave as well. Your mother is being quite hysterical. Apparently, all her friends are hounding her about the article.” He sighed and I nodded , watching him shrug on the jacket before nodding at Jihyun and then following his friend out to the front doors.

Jihyun stayed standing , watching my father’s form disappear through the door before turning to me.

“ Are you alright?” He said quietly, moving to kneel in front of me. Sana stood up, bowing before leaving and I watched her disappear into the hallway leading to the kitchens. Jihyun’s fingers wrapped around mine, brushing my knees and I stared down at him.

“The question is, are you alright?” I brushed the hair off his face. He sighed.

“No. No I’m not. I’m angry and jealous and very much filled with resentment towards my brother.” He said honestly and I laughed, tugging on his hand and patting the seat next to me. He straightened before moving to settle next to me and I leaned on his shoulders, sighing as he wrapped on around me, the warmth of his body comforting .

“Are you going to give your marriage a chance?” I asked carefully.

“She told me she was going to break things off for good. We.. We’ve been talking about it. Starting a family, making this work.” He said quietly. I nodded. It was understandable. Unlike Jungkook and I , Jihyun had a responsibility. He would need a son and even though people liked to act like they didn’t care much about gender, like they didn’t care much about having children , it was sort of an unspoken rule. First son of the house ? You had to have a male heir to carry the family name.

I wondered how that conversation had gone between Jungkook and Lisa. It didn’t really match the photo I’d seen.

“I suppose Jungkook probably put up a fight. He genuinely wants to end up with her. He… He tells me often that he loves her and can’t love anyone else. ” I wondered if I ought to feel embarrassed or insulted.

But the truth was, I was numb to a lot of things that had once hurt quite a lot..

The conversation with Jungkook about my pregnancy had definitely cleared things up for me. There was nothing there worth salvaging. Chasing something that wasn’t real , that was foolishness. Especially when I had a very real baby to think about. A child that counted on me to make the right choices.

“I don’t think he did. She spoke to me last night and said that he agreed. Of course that was before the article came out. I’d like to think she didn’t lie to me but I’m not sure.”

I sighed, settling in closer to his chest. He was warm and firm, solid and reliable. I wondered if it would have been easier, if my father had just married me off to Jihyun instead. Jihyun and I …we were alike. We had been friends , even from childhood. Had watched with fond adoration as our younger siblings had fallen madly, wildly in love. Jungkook and Liza had been drawn to each other from the first. Inevitable.

Jihyun and I were more carefree. We didn’t feel things that intensely and perhaps that was why we could sit here in the calm of the afternoon air, quiet and introspective when we ought to be furious and raging.

“ Should we run off together? You and i?” He said suddenly making me laugh.

“Very much incapable of running.” I reminded him with a grin and he squeezed my shoulder .

“I’d carry you.” He said simply.

“Where would we go?” I asked curiously, indulging the fantasy for just a few minutes.

“Somewhere far away. Maybe India? There’s so many people there and we could get lost in the crowds.”

“That does sound appealing.” I smiled and turned to look up at him. His face inches from mine, not as handsome as Jungkook but strong featured and kind. “ But I’m not alone anymore. I have a child.”

His gaze dipped to my lap.

“Yes. Jungkook’s child.” He said thoughtfully.

“No. Mine. Nobody else’s . Just mine.” I said quietly. Jihyun’s gaze softened. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, echoing his father’s words.” On behalf of my idiot brother, I’m sorry.”

And where Mr. Jeon’s words hadn’t made any sort of impact, Jihyun’s made my heart clench and ache in the worst way. Self pity was something I loathed but sometimes, being handed the short end of the stick at every turn in life makes it impossible to not feel sorry for yourself.

Tears stung, welling up in my eyes and spilling over my lashes like water bubbling out of an aquifer.

I blinked slowly, not bothering to wipe them as they traced a path down my face, dripping into the fabric of my shawl. In a moment of clarity I wondered what Jungkook must be going through now. Nothing good for sure.

It definitely said something, that I still worried for him. Sighing, I let Jihyun hug me closer. I would take advantage of his kindness for a few more minutes. It had been a while since someone had held me like I mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I called Jungkook that evening.

It wasn’t an easy choice but my heart ached and my mind raced with unanswered questions. I didn’t want to get lost in my own thoughts so I didn’t overthink it. We were still married. I was allowed to call him.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Where are you?” I asked quietly and Jungkook’s groan made my face heat up a little.

“I… Leah?” He sounded groggy. I glanced at the time. It wasn’t late.

“Are you sleeping?”

He didn’t reply for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry about what happened. We.. We didn’t do anything else. It was just.. it was a kiss. Just that.”

“Are you still in the hotel?” I asked quietly ignoring his words.

“ For tonight, yes. Dad wants me to stay with a friend of his. I’ll be going over to their place tomorrow morning.” He replied .

Silence followed for a few seconds.

“Namjoon is moving in tomorrow.” I said stiffly.

Jungkook didn’t respond for a minute or so.

“Yes. Father said it’s a good idea. And I agree. You shouldn’t be alone while I’m here. He’s right. Hyung’s a nice guy. He’ll help you out.” Jungkook said softly.

“Liza came home. She wanted to talk to me.” I said quietly.

Jungkook didn’t reply and I sighed.

“I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her before I talked to you. I don’t… I don’t want to say anything to her that I haven’t already said before. But I still want to know your thoughts on all this. Your plans, that is. I take it you weren’t happy with her ending things.” I said stiltedly.

Jungkook didn’t reply for a few seconds.

“Things between us ended a long time ago, Leah. It was over when we both agreed to marry other people. Maybe even before that, I don’t know… I … I guess I just didn’t want to acknowledge them.” He said quietly. “ She’s different, now. Even that kiss felt so wrong.  She’s moving on. I’m glad in a way. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone like hyung. He’s better than me in everyway and-”

God I wanted to strangle him.

“So why did you kiss her?” I snapped. “ If you’re so generously letting her go why would you…” I stopped.

“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me. It was barely for a second.” He muttered. “ whoever it was must’ve been videoing us for a while.”

I had to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this little detail made no difference.

“Right.” I sighed. “ So, you won’t be home for a while?”

“Six weeks at least.” He said quietly.

I tried to keep the disappointment down. I still wanted to see him, just to make sure he was okay. But I knew that was just the pregnancy hormones talking.

“Okay.” I said simply.

“How are you? Did you go see the doctor?” He asked softly and the question surprised me. I was half sure he had forgotten.

“No, not yet. Maybe in a couple of days.” I scratched at a small stain on my skirt. Lime juice and baking soda, I thought absently. That should get the stain out.  

“Its pretty late. You should go see the doctor, Leah. I.. I looked stuff up. They say you have to be on pre natal vitamins, folic acid and iron supplements  and you have to have  a balanced diet. I called Sana earlier and told her to speak to our doctor and get a diet chart for you. She said she’ll do it soon. So , please take care of yourself.”

Jungkook sounded entirely serious and as always my brain felt muddled, unable to process why he did the things he did. He had looked things up about the pregnancy and that implied some sort of interest, didn’t it? But ….. he had also kissed my sister so what was I supposed to do with this?

“I’ll call you.” I said shakily, drained. I was done for the day.

“Right.” He said softly. “ Namjoon hyung will be there tomorrow right? Should I talk to him? He could take you to the doctor.”

“No.. That’s fine. I’ll manage.” I said quickly.

“You’re sure?” There was genuine worry there.

“Yes.” I sighed.

“Alright.”

Silence again. I exhaled shakily.

“Should I hang up?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. Good night. ” He breathed.

“Good night, Jungkook.”

Click.

I stared at the wall, gently lowering the phone and placing it on the bed next to me.

She deserves better than me, his voice echoed in my head.

Well, so did I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon looked nothing like the twenty one year old college student I’d seen a decade ago. I knew he was a successful novelist and I’d read all his books. They were mostly philosophical or commentaries on life and emotions. I enjoyed the way he wrote : melancholic and deep but also clear and easy to understand. It was like staring at a particularly deep pool, being able to see all the way down to the bottom because of how clean the waters were. But once you put your feet in, the depth  always surprised you.

“That’s a lot of books.” I laughed, gripping the edge of the door frame as I watched him stumble under the weight of a crate full of bound books. Namjoon’s messy brown hair peeked over the top, and when he adjusted the huge load to stare at me, I caught sight of his handsome face stretched in a dimpled grin, eyes glinting.

“Research.” He grunted, straightening himself up and I watched the flex of his muscles as he carefully moved to place the crate down in one corner of the large bedroom that I’d had cleaned for him. It was on the west wing of the house, parallel to my own bedroom that I shared with Jungkook . Namjoon had spent three years working as a professor somewhere in Indonesia. And I knew that he’d spent a year backpacking all over Scandinavia. I stared at his tall strapping figure, watching him set up his writing space carefully, sorting out boxes and electronics.

He had driven here in his Range Rover and I knew all his clothes were still there in the back of the car.

“Should I ask the footmen to get your clothes?” I asked and he glanced up at me, frowning.

“Footmen?” He looked confused and I rolled my eyes.

“Namjoon…” I said chidingly and he grinned again.

“I keep forgetting you’re filthy rich. Makes me wish I should have beaten Jungkook to the game and bagged myself a rich wife.” He winked. It was a joke but there was no mistaking the hint of interest in his eye. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Being married to Jungkook had definitely made me question the attraction I held for men so it felt good, having someone as handsome and whole and successful as Namjoon look at me like that.

“I’ll ask them to get your clothes. You should shower and settle in. We’ll meet for dinner tonight.” I said quickly and he nodded.

“You’re going to be okay heading back to your room? Let me know if you need help.” He pointed at my feet and I nodded. It was sweet of him to offer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was surprisingly not awkward at all. Namjoon had a lot of interesting stories to share and I found myself clinging to ever word in rapt attention. He spoke about all the folklore he’d run into in different places, how he thought that no matter the culture, there were always some common things you could find in every one of them. He also talked a little about his next book, which he hadn’t named yet.

“It’s about second chances. Forgiving and moving on.” He said, taking another bite of his braised pork and moving to make another lettuce wrap.

“ Heavy stuff.” I said thoughtfully. “ Most of my writing is commercial. I just try to sell stuff to reluctant people. It’s not much but it keeps me occupied and it’s always nice to make money that you can call your own.”

“It’s because you don’t write for yourself. When you start writing for yourself, you can truly be who you are.” He said firmly and I nodded in agreement.

My writing in college had been vivid and bright and filled with life. But after the accident, it had turned grey and gloomy. The words seemed to drip with loss and longing and  I didn’t enjoy it, because it was a reminder that I was no longer the vibrant, attractive fulsome girl I once was.

“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.” I smiled. “ Being who I am. I would rather pretend I’m at least a little alright.”

Namjoon stared at me, thoughtful.

“You used to run track.” He said softly and I grinned.

“You remember.” I said, pleased.

“Of course I do and you were captain of the volleyball team as well. You used to organize all those hikes and treks and stuff.”

“Yes I did. I loved the outdoors.” I stared out of the window.

“Loved? Past tense?” He tilted his head. I stared at him, shaking my head.

“What kind of question is that.” I shook my head. “ Look at me. I’m not trekking anytime soon, considering how the last time ended.”

“You can still go out.” He frowned. “ When was the last time you went somewhere?”

I shook my head.

“Oppa…”

“Listen. You know me. You’ve known me for more than a decade. Do you honestly think I’m going to let you rattle around this old house like a ghost when you should be out there taking in all the sunshine you can get?” Namjoon placed his chopsticks down and linked his fingers together, staring at me.

I stared at him, and it was definitely there. The concern, the affection. Not that different from when I was sixteen and struggling to understand what pathos meant.

But now there was a definite undercurrent of attraction. Back then it had been childish, the wild crush of a teenager on her hot tutor but now, now I knew that he was so much more than just a hot guy.

“I’m pregnant.” I said softly, more a reminder to myself than anything else.

Namjoon grinned.

“We’ll steer clear of horse riding and alcohol. Anything else you can just let me know.”

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“I think I’m getting one now.” I deadpanned.

“Because you’re nervous.” He grinned.

“Because your dimples look too adorable.” I retorted.

He laughed.

“I’ll talk to Jihyun and we’ll go see your doctor first. Then we’ll go out and have  a nice picnic.”

“Namjoon, I can’t…”

“You don’t know that.” He said firmly.” You don’t know if you can or can’t because you’ve never tried. Listen I love picnics and I love going out and I want company. I’m agreeing to be stuck with you for a while and the least you can do is  give me company at a picnic. You know how big a loser I’d seem like if I went by myself?”

It was like I was sixteen again getting brow beaten into things by a tutor who just hated the idea of not getting his way. I shook my head fondly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fourteen weeks. Three and a half months.

I stared at the ultrasound, feeling a multitude of things, not all of them good. The baby was growing well and I had all my prescriptions filled. Namjoon had offered to come with me but I had refused. It was too intimate and he was still a stranger. I did take a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to Jungkook.

/Jungkook called me back almost at once.

“You went to the doctor?” He asked, sounding a little breathless.

“Were you running?” I asked, surprised.

“Not really. I’m supposed to be meeting one of the vendors for lunch and I thought I could walk to the restaurant but its farther than I thought.” He huffed.

“Everything’s fine. Baby’s due in July.” I said quietly.

“Summer. That’s good.” He replied. “Right?”

I hesitated. What did that mean? What did it matter when the baby would be born?

“Because winter would mean it being too cold . Summer we can take the baby out and stuff without worrying too much.” Jungkook said softly.

Oh.

“How’s work?” I asked awkwardly. The non conversation was getting tedious. There was just so much to talk about and it was obvious that both of us weren’t in the mood to actually ask or answer anything worthwhile.

“Did dad say something?” Jungkook asked quickly and I frowned.

“No. Why?”

“He wants me to join hyung in the corporate office. Leave the smelter units.” Jungkook sounded subdued and upset and I felt sympathy well inside me.

“Join him? As what?” I asked quietly.

“Head of the marketing department. I’ll be reporting to Seokjin hyung.” Jungkook had clearly started walking again, breath coming in little exhales.

“You don’t want it?” I asked confused, not sure if this was a good or bad thing.

“I mean… I have a degree in Business and Finance. Hyung’s the CEO , I was hoping I’d be the CFO.” Jungkook sighed, “ But I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t disown me altogether after what happened earlier.”

I stayed quiet and so did he.

“We need to talk . When you get back. You … I know you don’t like sharing about what you feel but you owe me an explanation.” I said firmly.

“I know. But I meant what I said when I left. I’m going to be there for you and the baby. You’re still my wife. That’s not going to change.”

I ran my fingers over the ultrasound.

“Did you also mean the part where you said you can’t stand me.” I said bitterly .

Jungkook didn’t reply.

“I… You know I didn’t. That was just something I said on impulse. I’m sorry. You’re… You’ve been nothing but good to me. And honestly, just the fact that you’re carrying my child is proof that I can definitely stand you.” He sounded just a little hoarse.

I bit my lips, staring up at the door when I heard a knock.

“Leah? I’m going to have some tea in the garden … You wanna come with?” Namjoon’s voice rang through the room and I froze.

“Oh.. Oh.. yes. I’ll be down.” I said quickly, nodding . Namjoon pointed at the phone and gave to thumbs up before moving back out.

“Was that Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook’s voice came over the line.

“Oh… yeah. Yeah, he’s… he wants me to have tea with him in the gardens.” I said awkwardly.

“That’s nice.  You should go. Get out of the house once in a while.” I didn’t know what to say to that so I stayed quiet.

After another minute or so of silence, Jungkook cleared his throat.

“ I got that form you sent in for me to fill, about my medical history. I’ll fill it up and mail it to the doctor’s office. Is that alright?” He asked hesitantly. “ If not I can fly back home. If they need me in person or something.”

I frowned a bit.

“They don’t need you in person, Jungkook of course not. Mail it, that’s fine.”

Another pause.

“This is really happening huh? A baby. We’re having a baby.” The exhaustion in his voice was palpable and I wondered.

“Yes. We are.” I said simply, not having anything else to elaborate on. It was happening. I was torn between pleasure at having something to look forward to and guilt at forcing Jungkook into a role he wasn’t ready for. But , for better or for worse we were married. The child was his. It would be a Jeon.

“ I’ll do better.” He said quietly. “ With the little one. I’ll be better.”

Tears these days, sprung up out of nowhere I thought miserably, furiously swiping at my face.

“Leah?” His voice came over the line. “ Leah are you there?”

“I need to go.”

“Alright.”

“Take care of yourself too, Jungkook.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loneliness .

It’s such an odd sort of feeling. Sometimes you get used to it so much, that you forget all about it.

It stays , a part of you that doesn’t make much of an impression on you until one day, suddenly it becomes unbearable,

Until you get a glimpse of what it’s like to not be lonely.

And then suddenly it’s like a deep chasm of longing and desperation just opens up inside you, craving love and warmth and company with a hunger that feels like it can never ever be satisfied.

I’d never paid much mind to the fact that my life revolved around myself, my writing and the flowers in the garden. Not until Namjoon had come, demanding to be felt and seen and heard .

 Namjoon hadn’t joked about not letting me rattle around the house. Our days were spent sprawled on the lawns of the Jeon estate, each of us occupied with our own writing . Namjoon typed away on his laptop while I preferred my leather bound notebook. It was oddly soothing, lying there on the clean cut grass, the sharp blades rubbing against my bare legs, as I leaned back against a tree trunk, watching Namjoon’s furrowed brows as he wrote.

Namjoon had changed in a lot of ways and yet he was still somehow just as I remembered, focused and often lost in his own head. He was a contemplative man and seemed to spend as much time reading as he did writing.

“There’s a poetry club that meets every Tuesday in Gangnam. Would you like to come with me?” He asked casually, about a week after he’d moved in and I considered it. The paparazzi had finally stopped hanging about the estate and Jungkook had called the previous night with a ETA for when he would be back.

Four weeks at most, he had said firmly and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling all that excited for his return anymore. Days spent with Namjoon were more exciting. He included me in every little thing and I was addicted.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was probably wrong. Namjoon was sweet and kind but I was still married. But on the wake of that thought came the bitter reminder that there was nothing between Jungkook and I. He was in love with someone else. Why should I deny myself the joy of Namjoon’s company over a relationship that really wasn’t a relationship at all.

Namjoon treated me as an equal, teased and flirted like there was nothing wrong with the two of us living like this, together and away from the rest of the world and I liked it. It made me feel like perhaps happiness wasn’t such an abstract, unreachable thing after all. That perhaps I could find happiness like this. In friendship and mindless conversation with a man who didn’t see me as a burden.

“I’d love that.” I said with a smile, letting my fingers knit together with his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Scorned wife getting even? We spotted the recently cheated on Mrs Jeon getting cozy with a strapping, buff hottie in a private restaurant last Friday and we can’t help but wonder if perhaps the reclusive lady is trying to get back at her husband by flashing her own boytoy.” Namjoon read cheerfully from his phone, looking way too entertained as he showed me the zoomed photo of us holding hands over the dinner table .

“That’s quite the description they’ve put for you.” I grimaced, sipping my chamomile tea slowly. My father and Mr. Jeon had reacted with their usual anger, threatening to sue the gossip rag for libel but it was pointless. They would keep being intrusive rats. There was nothing much to be done beyond enduring them.

“My agent’s losing his mind. He’s been at me trying to get me to agree to book signings and public appearances and he’s pissed that this is the way I get introduced to Seoul’s High society. Poor guy.” Namjoon chuckled and I felt guilt churn.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I really didn’t think they’d be following me. I mean… usually they’re only tailing Jungkook but I guess with the whole thing with Lisa , they’re just looking for ways to make things worse.” I said hesitantly.

Namjoon hesitated, staring at me for a few seconds.

“We never really talked about how things are.” He said quietly. “ Between you and Jungkook, that is.”

I ran the edge of my chopsticks on the brim of my soup bowl.

“ There’s not much to say. He’s…. He’s still sorting things out. With my sister.” I smiled a little. It ached a lot less, I realized with surprise.

“They loved each other deeply.” Namjoon said softly. “ that sort of thing doesn’t go away that quickly.”

I nodded.

“Of course. And I’ve been …understanding of that. I like to think.”

“But its unfair to you. You deserve to be loved too. Fully and well .”

I leaned back to stare at him.

“Are you offering?” I laughed, teasing.

Namjoon didn’t smile, leaning forward instead.

“Depends. Will you ever consider leaving him, for me?” He said seriously.

My heart turned over inside me.

“Namjoon…” I choked out and he reached out and lightly touched my palm.

“I know how marriages work with people like you, so I think I should draw boundaries now, if I want to keep myself safe.” He smiled a bit.

“I’m pregnant. With his child.” I swallowed and Namjoon’s brows went up.

“I thought it was your child. Yours and no one else’s.”

I felt torn, staring at him and wanting to say that I didn’t consider Jungkook as the child’s father, not in the way most people did. But I also remembered my husbands determined voice, the way he kept insisting that he wouldn’t neglect the child.

“Its not about Jungkook or the child, Leah. Its about you. You married Jungkook knowing he was in love with your sister and that tells me that you listen to your parents. You don’t want to stand up against the rules set by our parents and I don’t fault you for it. But I can’t let myself fall for you, knowing you’re going to be bound by your obligations to yurr family.”

I shook my head.

“Don’t fall in love with me.” I said easily. “ You’re right. My family comes first. And whether I want to be or not, I’m bound to Jungkook for life. So don’t fall in love with me.”

He smiled and nodded.

“Alright then.”

“Do you want to move out?” I asked bitterly and he looked genuinely surprised.

“What?”

“You clearly think I’m trying to seduce you or something when really, I-“

“Hey. Hey, Leah…no. No alright, that’s not what I meant. These two weeks, it was amazing. I love your mind and you’re easily one of my favorite people on this planet. We’re friends. And we’ll stay friends no matter what but you must know why I said what I said. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m a lonely guy.” He smiled a bit, “ I just don’t want to make it hard for myself when you want me to leave.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook arrived back in Korea on a cold, rainy morning and against my better judgment I let Jihyun and Lisa drag me to the airport. It was some kind of publicity stunt, that much I could fathom but I didn’t know if Jungkook was in on it. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days, he had been busy wrapping things up with the new branch in Japan.

It was another bad day for my leg and I found myself leaning heavily on my sister, her arm wrapped around my waist as we walked over to the waiting area. I could already identify a few men with cameras staring at us discreetly. Paparazzi . I saw them move their cameras down to the now obvious curve of my stomach and I swallowed. I could already imagine the articles wondering who the father was : Jungkook or Namjoon.

“You alright?” My sister asked worriedly and I nodded, not looking at her. Lisa hadn’t been discouraged by initial refusal to speak to her, keeping at it till I finally caved and let her visit me at the estate. She didn’t love Jungkook anymore, she insisted . It was over. They were over . She wanted to give her marriage a chance. Very sweet and nice, that. And it was obvious that she wasn’t lying, what with the way she and her husband kept

Jihyun and Lisa had made amends with each other and it annoyed me that they seemed to be madly in love with each other all of a sudden. Like the past couple months hadn’t even happened. I stared down at my wedding ring feeling stricken. Was it unfair that I resented them for this? Why hadn’t the two of them thought of this, of breaking things off and moving on before the damn wedding. And then maybe Jungkook and I would have had a real marriage too.

Bitter and hormonal was definitely not a good combination I thought with a wince, fingers splaying on the curve of my lower belly. It was so odd, being pregnant. The extra weight somehow foreign but also …so soothing. The last scan had shown that I had an anterior placenta and that meant that I may not feel movements for a while. I didn’t mind, having found comfort in just tracing my palm over the bare skin of my stomach.

“There he is.” Jihyun’s voice made me look up and ure enough there he was.

It wasn’t the longest we’d been away from each other and yet, I felt my heart leap at the sight of him. He truly was a very handsome man, I thought miserably. And no matter what people said, it was infinitely more difficult to hate your husband when he looked that good.

Jungkook’s eyes caught mine first and I saw the way his gaze dipped straight to the curve of my bump. Even from the ten feet between us , I saw hi lips part in surprise , eyes going wide. It probably hadn’t felt real to him till now, I thought biting my lips as he carefully handed his bags over to the two chauffeurs who had rushed to help him.

Jihyun wasted no time in bounding over and hugging his little brother tight.

I glanced at the man who had been taking photos, pleased to see the surprise in his face. Was he hoping that the CEO would punch his little brother in the face ? Idiots. Lisa stayed by my side and I exhaled shakily.

“ Dad told me something and I want to know if its true.” I said quietly.

She didn’t reply.

I took a deep breath, still watching the two brothers embrace each other, Jungkook’s face buried in Jihyun’s shoulders. I could see him shaking just a little and I felt my gut clench.

“He told me that …that you never told him that you wanted to marry Jungkook. That when he suggested Jihyun you agreed at once.”

She looked away.

“Lets talk about this later.” She said quietly.

“Does Jungkook know?” I demanded. “ Because he spent that first month of our marriage cursing our father out for forcing you to marry Jihyun. Forcing. And dad says that he did no such thing. So what is the truth.”

Lisa didn’t respond.

“Jungkook  knows.” She said finally, “ I told him… the truth. When we were in Japan.” and I laughed in disbelief.

“Was that before or after you kissed him?” I snapped and she looked genuinely pained.

“Leah, I never meant to hurt you or Jungkook.” She said shakily.

“My God.” I shook my head. “ I always knew you were a selfish, greedy person but I didn’t take you for being a liar and a deceitful coward. ”

She stared down at her feet.

“Yes. I’m greedy..”  She whispered “ And you may not understand it now but I did it for you and for Jungkook.”

She moved away and I watched as Jihyun pulled away from Jungkook, still holding his arm as he held a hand out to Lisa. The smile on her face seemed genuine as she took her husband’s hand and I shifted my gaze to mine. Jihyun and Lisa walked away to their car and Jungkook stepped closer to me, his face stoic and impossible to read.  

“Leah.” He said quietly, dark hair falling into even darker eyes.

I didn’t reply, merely stepping up to gently press my palms on either side of his face.

“Welcome back.” I said softly, before reaching up and kissing him full on the lips. Jungkook’s entire body went stiff as a board at the gesture but he didn’t pull away , thankfully. It felt cold and impersonal and barely lasted a few seconds but hopefully the man had gotten a few good shots. I closed my eyes for effect, running my thumb over the clean shaven curve of his jaw, before pulling away slowly.

I peered over Jungkook’s shoulder, just to make sure and sure enough, the man was moving closer to get better angles. I smiled a little. Good. That should hold these vultures off for a while. I turned back to Jungkook and his eyes followed my gaze catching sight of the man with the camera and his entire body seemed to go stiff with anger.

“Why did you do that?” He growled and I bit my lips.

“You know why.” I made to turn away but he gripped my arm, hard. So hard that I winced.

“What are you doing?” I asked panicking, glancing at the man who was still watching.

“Since when did you start pandering to those pigs?” He whispered angrily and I flinched.

“Your father wants to introduce you to the Board of directors this weekend.” I whispered quietly, “Most of them read the news Jungkook. The last news about us can’t be about you cheating on me.”

“That’s my business. And I’ll deal with it. We’re not doing this, Leah. I’m not putting on some kind of act just to please my fucking father.” He looked furious and the taut line of his jaw made me flinch.

“I’m sorry.” I said quickly, guilt churning inside me. He was right. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to him about it but I knew that the scandal with him and Lisa wouldn’t go down well with the Board. And the Board generally had a direct say on who got hired to top managerial positions.

“I just want you to get that job.” I said softly and he stared at me, stiff body relaxing marginally.

“Let’s just go home. Yeah?” Jungkook said tiredly and I bit my lips.

Less than fifteen minutes since he came home and we were already at odds with each other.

The most ill suited couple in the universe, I thought with a grimace as he stepped right next to me and wrapped a hand around my waist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a very terrible tendency to forget taking my pills. So I generally left them by the bedside table. Stepping out of the shower, I found Jungkook sitting on my side of the bed, examining the bottle carefully. I tugged on the white t shirt I had on, suddenly embarrassed because it was Jungkook’s

I’d asked to borrow a couple over the phone,  simply because I no longer fit into my own and the ones I’d ordered weren’t here yet. Jungkook had agreed but still, it felt awkward when he was wearing the exact same t shirt himself.

He turned around when I moved to the vanity to put on moisturizer for the night and through the reflection I saw his gaze linger on my attire.

“Aspirin? Didn’t know that was part of pre natal vitamins?” He said seriously and I blinked., surprised. I turned around to stare at him, licking my lips nervously.

“How much research did you do?” I asked, genuinely curious and he flushed.

“I had a lot of free time. “ He said defensively. “ These six weeks.”

I frowned, before turning back to grab the small pot of night cream from the draw.

“My blood pressure is a little elevated. My mother had pre eclampsia with my sister and they just want to be careful.”

“Pre eclampsia?” Jungkook’s voice was fraught with nervousness and I turned back to see him almost white as a sheet.

“Jungkook…I.. its nothing serious.” I said hastily and his jaw went even more taut.

“What do you mean its not serious? Do you even know what it is?” He demanded.

“Do you?” I snapped back, annoyed at being treated like I was an errant child.

“I know that it’s the leading cause of maternal death during birth.” He all but shouted and I flinched.

“Okay…that’s only in extreme cases.” I held both my hands up. “ it’s a bit too premature to be panicking over that.”

Jungkook opened his mouth, as though to argue but then seemed to calm himself down.

“When’s your next check up?” He asked casually.

“This weekend. But its okay, Namjoon is-“

“I’ll come with you. I.. I want to come with you.” He said quietly.

I stared at him, feeling too awkward to outright refuse.

“You have the meeting with the Board. This weekend.” I said softly.

“So?” Jungkook shrugged. “ I’ll just tell them your appointment and health is more important to me. Besides isn’t that what you wanted? The reason you kissed me at the airport? You want the board to think we’re happily in love. I think that would be an excellent way to show them that. ”

Jungkook stared at me , head tilted curiously, daring me to deny what I had old him myself.

Sighing, I nodded.

“Alright.” I managed a weak smile. “ You can come with me.”

“Namjoon hyung left today, you said?” He asked casually.

I nodded.

“I should send him a bottle of his favorite wine for taking care of you so well. You look good.”

“He did it because he wanted to. Because he enjoyed it.” I retorted, his words rubbing me just a little wrong.

Jungkook smiled although it was more of a smirk.

“I’m sure he did. But I’m here now. And I did promise you that I’ll be there for you.”

“For the baby.” I said sharply, not liking the way he looked. The things he seemed to b implying.” You promised me you’d be there for the baby.”

“And right now, said baby is inside you.” He grinned now and I felt my pulse quicken at the sight. Jungkook didn’t smile with me. It wasn’t something that happened. At all. “ So I’ll have to take care of you.”

I stared at him, biting my lips.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. “My sister told you she never wanted you so now you want to start fucking me again?”

It was cruel. A terrible thing to say and I regretted it at once.

The smile faded.

“What?”

“ I…fuck Jungkook.” I groaned.

“is that what you think of me? Need I remind you that you were the one who came to me all those months ago? I never…. I would never force myself on you, Leah.” He looked like he’d been stabbed and I heart clenched.

“Jungkook , I…”

“I’ve been honest. Through all of this I’ve been honest to you. I lied to your sister, I lied to my father and fuck I even lied to myself. But I’ve been honest with you , Leah.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?!” I cried out, despairing. “ You were in love with my sister and –“

“And she wanted to marry my brother.” Jungkook yelled, standing up and turning to me, eyes blazing. “  All along. Know what she told me Leah? That it was never supposed to be me. That five years of us being together…it was because she was in love with my brother and she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She started dating me to make him jealous and when she saw that I spent so much time with Jihyun she stuck around . So she could spend time with him.” He shook his head.

I stared at him, horrified.

“Jungkook….”

“I thought I could never feel more pathetic than when I stood there listening her tel me how she never felt a single thing for me. But wow…. Thank you for proving me wrong. Because right now, standing here begging you to let me a part of the child we both made knowing you only see me as some kind of pervert just looking to get into your bed….” he shook his head,” I feel worse. I feel dirty.”

My throat went dry.

“You know what?” He moved to the closet and to my horror he grabbed a bunch of his clothes and a small suitcase. “ I’m going to go get a Hotel room.”

“What? No… Jungkook, wait!” I rushed to his side, grabbing his arm but he threw my hand off quickly.

“Ask Namjoon hyung to move back in. Better yet, tell dad the truth. That you think I’m disgusting. That the thought of me being in your life makes you sick. Tell him you want a divorce and-“

“It’s a girl.” I exhaled sharply.

Jungkook went completely still.

I swallowed, my heart racing so fast I couldn’t catch my breath.

I took a deep breath and moved to lightly touch his back, fingers splaying on the broad expanse of his shoulder blade .

He turned around at that and my heart lurched at the tear tracks down his cheeks. He looked wrecked.

“ A girl?” He whispered.

I bit my lips, nodding.

“We’re having a little girl.” He looked a little shell shocked.

“Yes. And hopefully, she isn’t as dramatic as her father.” I said softly, grabbing the dozen or so t shirts he’d pulled out of the closet and pushing them back into the shelves.

Jungkook didn’t protest, still staring into space, probably just taking the news in. I felt awful for one second because I hadn’t even cared all that much when the technician had told me.

I closed the closet door and moved back to the vanity trying to process all that had been said in the last five minutes, only to feel a headache come on. I would think about it tomorrow.

I finished braiding my hair when Jungkook’s voice came from the bed.

“If you don’t want me to intrude into your space you can tell me. I’m okay with only getting information about the baby.” He said quietly.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

I turned to him slowly. i took a deep breath, considered that what i was going to say would likely change everything between us. But i had to. 

I’ve always been honest with you Leah, He had said and I decided that perhaps he deserved some honesty in return.

“I think I’m in love with Namjoon.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : these two are such a mess istg. 

ooh i don’t have a taglist for this so please comment if you wanna be on it. 

[tsunderedoctor]

Love Languages: Affirmation Admirers

This will be the first part due to their being a larger number of characters who fit the Words of Affirmation section. Second part should be posted tomorrow!

Babes down below!

Portgas D. Ace

Ace loves to know how good he is/makes you feel. He was always called a demon/devil child growing up and didn’t get a lot of love due to it. Because of this, he’s very touchy on the words people use around him and can pickup if it’s truthful or deceitful. 

The boy will light up like the sun the moment you happen to mention how good he is! Literal human version of a Golden Retriever! Will smile so brightly and run around telling the crew what you had said; much to their annoyance-

If you are feeling down the man will compliment you to the moon! “I want you to know how amazing you are, I love everything about you, you make my life meaningful!”

He also likes physical affection and quality time; but hearing your kind words just sets his heart aflame! 

Vinsmoke Sanji

Another babe who had it kind of rough growing up; but he had his mom who helped encourage him and teach him the importance of kindness. With that in mind, when he first heard you compliment him it reminded him so much of his mom his eyes watered a bit.

The rest of his family doesn’t share his need for connection and praise; so after his mom died he lost all those moments of praise. So it makes him really happy when you compliment even the smallest things he does.

Another one who will compliment you, especially when you are feeling down! Wants you to feel the emotions he feels when you compliment him! If you don’t like compliments however, he will try to find new ways to show his love, but still will let a compliment slip from time to time.

Donquixote “Corazon” Rosinante 

He was the baby in the family so he was used to people calling him cute/adorable/sweet (I mean he was a cute kid-). Also growing up as a Celestial Dragon he also received praise from that; but those praises became dark after time. Began to give up on affrimations and love all together really, especially when he began to spy on his brother (how could he find love/be loved when he was doing so many wrongs?).

But hearing you say how amazing/good/kind he is makes his heart throb. He forgot how others see him and only sees the dark parts of himself. Definitely compliment him on how he takes care of Law! He never got to be a big brother, so he gets insecure if he is doing a good enough job.

Compliments you on about anything; you don’t even have to be sad; boy is just happy to have someone kind and strong as you in his life! He can’t help, but want to tell you how proud he is of you!

Tony Tony Chopper 

Chopper and Bepo are being included as friends/support partners! So apologies in advance! 

The cool thing about love languages is that it doesn’t have to just be romantic love, it could also be platonic and familiar love! Chopper feels a rush of pride and determination when you compliment his work! He wants to be the best doctor in the world, so seeing that others can see how hard he is trying makes the reindeer feel appreciated!

He’s also a worrier so hearing how hard he is doing and that you are proud of him, puts his mind at ease that he doesn’t have to try so hard. Will also do the same for you! He’s very observant on people’s feelings, and he can tell when you are getting frustrated. He will tell you all your good qualities and how he admires you! 

Bepo

Bepo is another one who worries and also has low self-esteem issues due to being judged as “just a bear”. Was surprised when you mentioned he did a great job today and looked at his feet in blank confusion “Were they talking to me?”

He figured, no you couldn’t be talking to him, but when you patted his back and walked away, he knew it had to be him you were talking to! Has sparkles in his eyes and smiles happily! Might go tell Law that he got complimented because he finds it so rare (I can see Law listening half way like “That’s great Bepo”, but has no idea what Bepo said-)!

Wants to compliment you as well for how you help out, but sometimes can’t bring himself to do it. I can see him writing little notes to let you know he appreciates you until he can finally compliment you face-to-face!

Cavendish 

This man loves praise! However, no praise can compare to your praise! Your praise is like fine gold compared to copper; no one can compete. I suggest not to praise him all the time however, because it will go to his head and he is the type to get bored of things easily and might not see your praise as valuable if you say it so much-

He’s not as selfish as he leads himself to be and can be kind when you are having a rougher day! He won’t do his usual flirtations with you and tries to be more serious. “Please know, I care about you so much, I’m so proud of the person you are! Don’t ever think less of yourself.” 

Will also throw some compliments here and there, but loves when you do it more! Especially if his crew happened to make fun of him or mock him for something dumb he did-

Bellamy the Hyena 

Bellamy is a people pleaser (change my mind-)! Guy literally was gonna die for another man who gave no two shits about him- like sir please chill!

I think now that he has given up piracy he is a lot more open and expressive towards others since he doesn’t have to worry about anyone using his weaknesses against him. Appreciates when you tell him if he does something good, because again after the whole Doflamingo thing, he kind of gave up on trying to please others. But he knows you are being sincere and honest so he appreciates your compliments the most!

Will tell you how amazing you are every night! He appreciates you giving him a shot even though he was a pirate and that can have some heavy baggage. Will do his best to meet your expectations and if he doesn’t let him know kindly, because again, boy got a little messed up from Doflamingo and takes everything you say to heart!

[avengersapology-vid]

Avengers: College Edition

Steve: Criminal Justice and Studio Art double major. He doesn't want to torture himself with anything difficult and still wants to study what he loves. He is still an over achiever though. Highkey hates frat parties, saw someone twerking upside down and almost cried but stayed because hes the designated driver (responsible KING). prefers small get togethers with his friends. Roommates with sam and bucky!! Joins Criminal Justice club, jokingly rivals with Engineering (Tonys Club) Everyone on campus loves him including the professors, wins Homecoming king and is very happy. Sam jokingly asks to be his queen, Bucky butts in and says "NO, im his queen". Can be found in the library or art studio, usually with ink or pencil markings on his hands.

Tony: Obvi an engineering KING has physics as a minor. procrastinates to the max "No Bruce I have everything under control" *crams for 46 hours straight on a constant IV drip of Redbull and coffee* Super smart and helps draw the blueprint for the new engineering building. Roomies with Bruce! Tony was in a frat for a bit his freshmen year but hated it and wanted real friends (Throws better parties anyway) met Bruce and all the other avengers during a 1301 intro class. Pulls women like no tomorrow. On the presidents list every semester and tutors math for free on the side. He is basically the Dad in STEM. Tries hitting on Natasha but she is just like :/ nah, when her and bruce start dating tony is surprised because bruce is his "quiet little cinnamon roll." Tony constantly teases bruce and is like "yall fuckin (;" Steve butts in "tONY PLZ I JUST WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE" Bruce is thankful for steves intervention. You know how he rivals Steves Criminal Justice club? He butts heads with Business Clubs leader (Pepper) until everyone catches them together at a party. Has a caffeine addiction. Works out with Thor and Bucky one day in the rec and almost dies.

Bruce: Physics and Engineering double major (Hardworking KING) In math club with Vision and Wanda. He loves being roomies with Tony because it helps him out of his shell. Likes to draw with Steve sometimes and enjoys the quiet. Doesn't procrastinate and gets things done in a timely manor. 4.0 icon we all strive to be. Him and Nat already know each other, but bond and get a lot closer while studying in the library and they eventually start dating. He takes her coffee when she works across campus and is always almost late to class because of that (He doesn't care though bc thats his BABY) "Um.. Bruce your class is in 5 minutes" "Okay and?.....Wait I have an ex-" *Sprints to his building* Takes boxing at night with Thor, Bucky, Sam and Steve!!! Loves sparring with Thor and can surprisingly take the big buy on pretty well. Gets his butt kicked by Natasha in a MMA class though.

Natasha: Majors in Criminal Justice and Minors in Psychology. Ballet club AND MOCK TRIAL!! Has a Job at the Criminal Justice Deans office and takes MMA classes on the side. She is on Mock Trial with Loki and they actually get along quiet well once they stop butting heads about the case. Introduces Sam and Wanda to dance and they have so much fun. Coffee dates with Bruce!! Her and Steve become RAs in the following years and are the coolest RAs you know. Prefers night classes, Bruce walks her to all of them. Psychology classes are her favorite and really wants to help children one day. Volunteers at a daycare during breaks. Sis can really out drink Tony and Thor. Puts Wanda under her wing and helps her with fafsa and what not. Her and Bucky get the Russian language credit by simply testing out. Has her sh!t together and while she has a lot on her plate she can take it. She is really the Mom of the group. Can be found dancing or with Bruce. Her and Clint are icons in psychology classes.

Clint: Deaf Studies with education minor! (we stan deaf clint in the comics) In the Archery club and wins nationals for the Uni. Loves to draw with Steve. Helps Bruce ask Natasha out! PRANK ICON! loves to do prank wars with tony, bucky, loki and sam. Was in the same frat with Tony but hated it as well. While he seems to have a more reserved demeanor he is still the life of the party. (Like he knows people at the clubs ya know?) Can get in anywhere and helps everyone rent out a club for the night in celebration of midterms being over. Loves reading in the library and loves morning classes and being productive early in the day. Cracks Tonys netflix and hulu passwords (no tony... tonyr0cks69 is not good enough) Wants to teach at a school for the Deaf. Bruce sets him up with a girl from engineering and that is his future wife.

Thor: Physical Education major and Communications minor! Here on a football scholarship and is in a frat (not the asshole one tony was in) and is a partying ICON. Tries to get Loki to party but Loki just wants to drink wine with the cat he snuck into his dorm. Learns Sign from Clint to prepare for his career in education. Loves working out with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Takes up boxing during football off season and spars with Bruce. Despite being everyones fav himbo he gets really good grades and is a very good writer. Loki dorms across the hall from him. Thor actually rooms with Peter. Peter is the freshman baby and Thor takes peter under his wing and introduces him to everyone and helps him with college stuff in general. Also hooks him up with MJ and brings him to the occasional boxing session. Has a loud booming laughter you can hear in all floors of the library when he sees a funny meme. One time he actually makes a very good point and notices a flaw in one of Tony and Bruces projects leaves everyone stunned. Picks on Loki in big brother fashion. Unironically calls weed the devils lettuce.

Loki: Pre-Law and Criminal Justice. LOVES to argue. (Devils advocate ass) In Mock Trial and Criminal Justice Club. Tony jokingly calls him steves sexy secretary in CJ club. Loves Mock Trial and is the president with Nat as his right hand woman. Sneaks a cat he found at the shelter into his dorm and names it muffin. Stays in the Library writing or going over cases. The one time he was taking Natasha a copy of the Mock Trial case packet and caught her and bruce smooching. (He screeched) "Haha funny joke yall heres the case packet BYE." He automatically texts the group chat "i think nAT AND BRUCE HAVE SOME TEA FOR US HMM". Lets Peter and Bruce come over to his dorm because he knows their roommates can get a little too much sometimes. Loki also becomes an avid twitter user and thats how he gains popularity on campus. (He called the uni out for their awful and expensive parking) Was able to convince the Dean with tony and steve to create a new parking lot. Caffeine addict!!! Him and Tony always bump into each other at the coffee shop. Brings baked goods to meet ups with the gang. Loves to play pranks (especially on Tony) Him and Bucky come up with a genius prank on him and even get pepper involved. Best dressed on campus and is in the fashion club. He is the embodiment of dark academia.

Sam: Criminal Justice Major with Aerospace Engineering minor. Gets introduced to Bucky and Steve during move in and they literally become brothers. Is both in Criminal Justice Club and Engineering Club. In the Historically Black Frat on campus and takes huge pride in that. Parties with tony and thor BIG TIME. Procrastinates by throwing paper airplanes at Bucky until Bucky is like "Um...dude your paper is due in like two hours." At that moment Sam got into work faster than he ever had. Loves gossip sessions with Loki and Wanda. Works out a lot with Bucky, Steve and Thor to get rid of stress. When he and Bucky finish a final they go to loki's dorm and ask "Hey can we see your cat." Helps prep food for friends-giving and decorates the dorm for holidays. HATES 8ams so so so much. Steve promises him pancakes if he gets up and goes. Binge watches shows during weekends and screams when Destiel is finally canon. Loves running and gets a Track Scholarship when Thor gets him to join a sport. Gets Peter to join track.

Bucky: criminal justice major and psychology minor. Buck is also in ballet club with Nat, it really helps him relax and gives him a free space to think (also he runs that shit like no ones business) Criminal justice club as well and LOVES to work out and box. One time Sam accompanies him to ballet and Bucky pushes Sam into a split... the scream was heard for miles. "Sam ballet is good for athletes it helps w-" "Yeah but its not good for my balls" Doesn't willingly procrastinate but once in awhile he will forget an assignment, you best believe his eyes will snap open from his nap and get to work asap. For one of his psyche labs he had to question Steve as if he were Steve's therapist to which Steve responds "Hey bro you dont have to hit a nerve that deep" He also likes to do dance with peter since it helps him get away from Thor for a bit. Not a big partier but once the weight of finals are off his chest you best believe he will go all out. Picks on Nat and says hes gonna steal her man, to which tony interjects and says "Not if I do first" Bucky also has a very comfy dorm, comfy lighting and tons of pillows, the man loves his sleep... and so does everyone else. Sometimes he finds peter, sam, THOR, tONY EVERYONE just napping in his bed before their study time. Overall, bucky is a smart boy and his time in college is kind to him.

Wanda: English Major and Education Minor. After being an orphan Wanda knows what it feels like to not have a parental figure there and she wants to change that for other kids by becoming an english teacher. She volunteers at an orphanage, specifically the one her and pietro were in for a brief moment when they came to the states. She loves to draw as well and takes plenty of art classes with steve. She paints a portrait of the entire gang and gives it to tony as a graduation present (he cried). She loves to do volunteer work for children and also spend a lot of time in the library, She helped Nat calm down before Bruce asked her out. Her and Loki are in constant competition for best dressed. "Loki ill let you win best dressed but you have to let me see your cat" "ugh fine... btw your shirt doesnt match your boots" "hEY" Her and Peter take alot of intro classes together and are constantly running around craft stores trying to get the right stuff for projects. Visits Vision at his Job on Campus and he visits her where she volunteers and eventually they start dating. She is constantly getting visited by pietro at 4am asking "Um do you have milk" "Pietro its 4am what do you ne-" "my OREOS"

Pietro: Track star business major, frat ICON with Thor. poor boy is STRESSED he hates college and is here on a track scholarship, constantly late and running around getting shit done. Queen of late assignments but still gets them graded because he is in Track. Yeah he has alot on his plate but he still parties with thor for hours. When he is drowning in assignments Clint is always there to help him, Bruce also helps him with biology and the more science-y classes. Likes to mess around and race sam at track practice. Not into coffee but will run on all the monster energy drinks you could possibly buy. Seriously is tired of 8 a.m courses, he just wants to nap after practice. Walks into the study room that everyone was in and actually looks more sleep deprived than tony. He gets a lot of tips from steve on how to have an easier time in college and it really helps him.

Vision: Grad student working on a civil engineering masters and a TA. Meets Wanda in the library and she asks him where the biographies are. He mistakenly says they are on the 2nd floor "Uh theyre actually on the third" "Then why did you ask?" "Cause I wanted to talk to you :)" He swooned. Through Wanda he met Tony and Bruce and became their best friend, He helped out a lot with engineering club and got them far. He spends a lot of time doing research for his masters degree, he loves relaxing with the group on weekends and picks on pietro as if he is already apart of the family. Him and Loki bond over intellectual conversations from time to time. Bruce and Nat go on double dates with him and Wanda. Went to a bar once with tony and bruce and had to stop tony from singing Queens entire discography, he had the best night that night. Helps everyone with getting into jobs and into grad school in general while everyone helps him let loose and have some fun.

Peter: Peter is a Physics major and eventually works his way up to biochemistry. (hardworking icon) He is the freshman baby of the group and is introduced to them through Thor. He dances with Buck and Nat sometimes as well. Tony obviously takes peter under his wing and helps him with assignments. One time everyone was in the same study room and him and pietro have a redbull shot gunning challenge. When Peter wins Thor picks him up and almost yeets the poor boy into the ceiling. "VERY WELL DONE YOUNG PARKER YOU SHOULD BE DOING THAT WITH BEER IN NO TIME." "Thor plz" Tony and Thor help him ask MJ out and even spy on them during a dinner date. (Imagine thor with sunglasses and a scarf around his head pretending to be tonys date) He feels so accepted in college because of the gang and gets all his work done on time. Goes out of his way to get everyone christmas presents and is so excited for friendsgiving. Becomes a little stressball during finals and midterms and stays in the library till it closes. He spots loki alot in there and helps loki with science classes while loki helps him with political science classes. He meets MJ through wanda and is obviously blushing the whole time while being introduced. Gets embarrassed when the guys flirt with aunt may. "guys plz stop" This is when Sam earns his "milf hunter" nickname. "Pete hows your aunt?" "She doesnt want you sam i-" its not like that... actually it is like that"

Coulson: Alumni Icon. Is the gangs Intro professor and is the reason why everyone meets eachother. (the class was chaotic indeed) Coulson loved that class so much and he still gets visited by everyone from time to time. He is obviously close with Nick. They were there that night when Tony was signing Queen at the bar and couldnt help but laugh.

Nick Fury: Dean for criminal justice and is heavily involved with criminal justice club and mock trial. He is tired of everyones shit as always. Makes a tiktok account for the criminal justice club and has no idea how to manage social media so gets Loki to help. Has to delete it when Loki commented "hah losers" on the engineering tiktoks page. He looks intimidating but in his office he has a picture with the club and has all the gifts he gets on display. (He even framed lokis comment because it was hilarious afterall)

[khaleesiofalicante]

OH MY GOD! ITS HAPPENING! Its only the summary and I’m emo 😂 I should be studying for my exams, but I have tomorrow for that ;)

Ok, lets do this:

UDHWIJSHW THEY ARE SO CUTE FOR EACH OTHER I CANT-

"He preferred to hide his heart away. But he couldn’t hide David. He didn’t want to. David deserved to be seen." Like father like son. Both speeking poetry about their love ones. (and no, Idk which father I'm talking about 😂)

“I don’t think they are fake dating,” David hummed from the other end. “You don’t talk for hours every night if you are just fake dating.” (THANK YOU DAVID! SOMEONE THAT ITS NOT BLIND)

"They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”“So, by not helping them, we are technically helping them?” Bapa had asked and Max had nodded with a grin. “Shadowhunters are weird.” “True dat,” Max had laughed. They were all weirdos. But Max loved them anyway. He loved his weird shadowhunters. (The domesticity lf this is killing me in a good way🥺)

“Will you on a date with me? Tomorrow?” Max asked then – because why the hell not. (Hell yeah Max. Go big or go home babe😎)

“This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.” In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that. (I'm already feeling his chaotic ass will do something like Magnus did, but lets keep hope)

"Maybe Lexi and Liv would probably enjoy a date – a fake date - in the arcade." Could I be more in love with both of them?? Is that physically possible?? 💙

Elyaas giving Max dating advice!! Lmaooo 😂😂

"His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice. But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages."  YOU LIL SHIT. YOU ARE NOT WRONG THO...

FUCK. An attack??

You lil shit Max.

Yep, Rafael has to deal with it everyday 😂

OOMG YESS. THE ALIANCE RUNE!!

"So, when he got tired, he would simply fix the problem by eating. It was a win-win to be honest." I feel like I should say something, but tbh it makes sense

Ok, this fight is intense

Wait. Anjali is there???  What?

Oh ok, it wasn’t

“Say the thing!”Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.” I'm dead 😂

THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING. LOVE THOSE TWO

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out. “Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.” “Asshole,” Max laughed and punched his brother.

“Text dad we are okay,” Rafael said, slowly recovering. “They will worry.”Max nodded and did that. (This just summ up sibling relationships so well *chef kiss*)

“It can be hard, Max. Bapak and dad…Sometimes I look at them and feel like I will never have what they have.” YUP. THEY HAVE SIBLINGS DYNAMIC. ALSO RAFAEL IS JUST 🥺🥺🥺

David got wounded???

Oh ok. False alarm.

Rafael sat down next to him and put Bapak’s head on his lap, gently massaging it.

“Are you okay?” dad knelt down next to his husband. “Just a little tired,” Bapak replied.A little tired. Max knew Bapak was fucking exhausted."  "Bapak never showed it. He never complained. Max wondered what else he hid away from everyone else." “Okay,” dad whispered and kissed his husband on the head. “Get some rest, my love.” Bapak nodded and closed his eyes as Rafael hummed something softly. (Well, now I'm crying 😭😭)

" His niece found an herbal medication that helps with the pain.” ANJALI!! I LOVE HER💙💙

"Dad finally smiled and went out to the balcony, phone in hand. He seemed to hang out in the balcony a lot lately" No no no. I dont like this. Babe find a better copying mechanism!!

"Bapak smiled then. A brilliant grin. The one dad probably fell in love with." jsyeihdiej I cant🥺💙

"Bapak sniffed when dad sat down next to him and gave him an odd look. But he didn’t say anything." Magnus tell him something. I dont like where this is going😭

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked. “Do not drag me into this!” Bapak protested and dad laughed at that" Ahh yess. Typical family discussions 😂

"David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!” (😂😂 I HONESTLY LAUGHED WAY TO HARD!!)

“Well, no! I don’t want drama. But I want you to be dramatic so I can tell you not to be dramatic!” I would like to say WHAT? but I honestly get it 😂

“Also, we all know you had an embarrassing crush on Uncle Jace growing up,” Rafael snickered. “And you definitely still have a crush on Uncle Jem.” Oh god 😂😂 but I mean... Who doesn't have a crush on Jem?

“Oh yeah?” Max demanded. “Well then let me explain your type. You are probably going to fall for someone who is like a combination of Aunt Izzy and Aunt Lily! Some femme fatale type who is a heartbreaker and looks like a supermodel and-” Boy got it right huh? 😂

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?” “There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!” lmaooo 😂😂

"And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life." I. I have no words

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.” “Not happening,” dad said into his coffee, and Max groaned before walking back into his room. (THAT FAMILY 😂😂)

" I tried to hurt your father once.” OH no, the angst is coming

" He didn’t know about this. He knew about their story. Everyone did. The accords hall kiss. The fight in Edom. The changing of the law. Their love was legendary. Not this!" THIS IS BRINGING BACK SO MANY FLASHBACKS

“All I know is that I was terrified. I love your father. I love Magnus more than anything in the world. And I didn’t want to lose him. And I didn’t know what to do.” 😭😭 NOT AGAIN!!

"When you love someone so much, sometimes you do crazy things.” THIS

" Love had made a fool out of them. Love had made them blind." Yup. tsc: a summary

"When you love someone, you have to be honest with them" And THAT is character development!!

"They called it The Jem effect." I'm using this from now on 😂💙💙

"Uncle Jem was wearing a tank top and and ripped jeans." So its time for SIMP over Jem Carstairs? Okey then.

"In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual." Same here 😂

“MINA! I SWEAR TO LILITH I AM GOING TO GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!” OH MY GOD I LOVE MINA!!

“In my defense, I was busy!!” “Oooo, someone has been getting busy!” Mina WINKED. (You lil shit! I love her 💙)

He didn’t know he could blush!!!

" They had gone to hell and back for Roman. It wouldn’t have been possible if not for Catarina. She was, and always has been, a miracle worker." Again, I love my queen💙💙

“I believe in Mavid supremacy.” ME TOO

"There is something so queer about Ferris wheels!" Someone needed to say this

"They had their own space in the spiral fucking labyrinth. These fucking legends." I BELIEVE IN WARLOCK TEAM SUPREMACY

"But Ragnor had always had a soft spot for Rafael." 🥺🥺

I love my warlock squad so much I cant-

Ragnor is so done😂

“I don’t want to lose him,” Max said it out loud for the first time. “But you will, Max,” Catarina said gently. “Everyone loses people they love. Every day. It’s how life works.” (its to early to be crying)

“Yes, we do,” Ragnor replied. “But it also means we fall in love over and over. Century after century. It’s our blessing.” (these warlocks are just to perfect)

“And that love is going to last for a lifetime,” Tessa said softly. “Can you imagine that? Someone loving you for centuries. Someone remembering you for eternity. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?” 🥺🥺

David deserved to be loved like that – endlessly and impossibly. (OK BUT THE PARALLEL)

Tessa should definetly write a guidebook

“Je t’aime à la folie,” Max said.David’s eyes widened. “Vraiment?“ "Je t’aime. Je t’aime de toute mon âme. Je t’aime pour toujours.” ( I literally screamed and woke up my sister, I just love them so much!!!)

"David smiled. The smile Max fell in love with" 🥺🥺

“I know I am not your forever and I am okay with that.” Max bit his lip. “Okay.” “But you are mine,” David said. “You know that, right?” (ksidjdldk its just all this was beautiful!)

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do." (Me as I should be studying 😂)

" And you were just scared. You were just a kid." “I just…I just realized you might not have had that when you were growing up – that there might not have been people you could talk to about these things.” THAT!! LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

"Max pulled him closer and kissed him again. Every kiss a promise. A promise to love. A promise to fight. A promise to survive" I would die for this two

OMG he took him to the Celestial Palace!! Thats so perfect and 🥺🥺

“Oh mon dieu! Ceci est incroyable! Il y a tellement de livres! Oh mon dieu! Je l'aime tellement!”💙💙 Idk how you manage to make me love David even more

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.” David blinked. “You’re joking, right?” “Of course,” Max grinned. His father had actually said that but there was no need to scary poor David any further. (😂😂 Imagine having the Consul as father-in-law, poor David)

“Yeah, not good with words my ass,” Exactly!! They say they are not good with words and procede to recite poetry of their love one??!!

Ughh I love this chapter so much and I loved how they deal with the inmortality thing! I just love when people comunicate and talk to each other! THATS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP! And how they didn't repeat Alec and Magnus mistake. I just love it! *chef kiss*

Anyway, this was really long and it took to open notes to fullfill, so i'll just leave💙💙

Bro I just felt like I read the whole chapter again and I am feels. I AM FEELS SEND HELP. Not me catching feels over my own shit lmaooooo.

Thank you so much. I have some work to do and I was like meh and now I have some energy to do it lol. I hope you spend tomorrow studying! You better!! Good luck!

ps - I love you notice the parallels and references. It makes me lil heart go boop!

also why do I feel like y'all are eternally doing exams????

[daresplaining]

[ID: Excerpt from Zdarsky’s Daredevil run. Jack Murdock is boxing with late teens/young adult-ish Mike Murdock in a boxing ring in an empty gym. Both are wearing boxing gloves and drab, baggy clothing. Jack punches Mike in the side.] 

Jack: “Elbows in! This is your life, Mike! How’s it feel?! Lesson two is tomorrow. Now go hit the showers! You stink of booze and sweat and you know Matt--”

[ID: Mike punches Jack in the head, then walks away while un-velcroing his own boxing gloves with his teeth.]

Mike: “I’m not Matt! I never was! But at least I don’t take punches and falls for a living!”

Jack: “That’s not--”

[ID: Mike pokes Jack in the chest with his finger.]

Mike: “No more lies, Dad! You take falls for mobsters! You rough people up for them too! And you lied to Matt and me about our mom!”

Jack: “Son, I--”

Mike: “I may not be my law school brother-- but I sure as #$@% ain’t you! I’m not Matt, I’m not Battlin’ Jack, I’m just--”

Daredevil vol. 6 Annual #1 by Chip Zdarsky, Chris Mooneyham, Rachelle Rosenberg, et al.

    I’m not even sure where to begin analyzing this issue, because there’s so much going on and so much to pick apart, but this seems like as good a place as any because this scene wrecked me (in a good way).

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, and I think it’s extra important to say it now, given everything that’s happened: my fascination with Mike comes from a fascination with Matt. It was true when Matt was play-acting as his fake twin brother, and it’s still true now that Mike is real and has begun separating himself out from Matt and asserting his own personhood; that overlap, the way in which Mike reflects and comments on Matt’s life and experiences, is key to his character. In this issue, via Mike’s memories, we are given a brand-new perspective on Matt’s childhood. We don’t get that very often, and it’s part of what makes this issue, and the concept of Real Boy Mike himself, so compelling. 

    One of the recurring concepts in this issue is the idea of Mike as an outside observer-- someone who sees what Matt does not (I mean... well, you know what I mean). Mike lives Matt’s childhood alongside him, but his experience of it is very different, and is largely characterized by losses of innocence. Mike beats up the kids who make fun of Matt, even after he’s been told not to. Mike loves his father, but does not idolize him to the degree that Matt does, which leads him to recognize Jack’s human flaws. Mike secretly observes Maggie visiting Matt in the hospital, thus discovering that their mother is alive years before Matt does (I’m going to write a separate post about that, because holy moley.) Mike provides us with a new experience of familiar events and characters. We see Matt as he sees him: the smart goody-two-shoes to whom Mike, with all his cynicism and rascally-ness, cannot measure up. And we see a Jack who is suddenly confronted about things that Matt never discussed with him, embroiled in a new relationship dynamic with a troubled, angry son who did not exist before. In this issue, Zdarsky has chosen to lean into the concept of Mike invading a pre-existing space and bringing with him a new perspective on it and on the characters who already inhabit that space, and I love that. 

    What makes this even more fun is thinking about what Mike doesn’t know. Yes, Mike notices important things that his brother misses, but at the end of the day, we as Daredevil fans know what “good-two-shoes” Matt Murdock is actually up to throughout all of this, and for all of Mike’s awareness of the world around him, these flashbacks suggest that he has no idea how much stuff his twin is hiding. (Whether this is actually the case is a tantalizing question that could potentially be explored later...). We’re accustomed to being in Matt’s head, and so it’s fun to watch his childhood from someone else’s point-of-view; to see his secret-keeping in full operation, from the perspective of someone who seemingly doesn’t have a clue. It’s not something that’s directly pointed out in the narrative (it’s actually easy to not think about Matt at all in this issue), but it’s a fun aspect of the story, and there are a few little details stuck in to remind us that this is still Matt’s superhero origin. One is how freaking buff Matt is compared to Mike in the later flashbacks (more on that in a future post), and another is Jack’s great comment in this scene about how Matt won’t like that Mike smells bad. This ties into another of my favorite pet DD ideas: that people who spend a lot of time with Matt know about his powers, even if they don’t actually know about them. We see this a bit with Foggy: in the years before he learned about Matt’s double life, he would sometimes comment on weird things Matt would do, but without actually thinking about them too hard because he was so used to it. And it would make sense for the same to be true of Jack and, now, Mike. Obviously, “Matt is sensitive to smells” isn’t a direct awareness that Matt has superpowers, but it provides us a glimpse of the ways Matt’s powers manifest in his daily life in spite of his secret-keeping. 

    And finally...

[ID: The same panel from above, showing Mike angrily undoing his boxing glove with his teeth.]

Mike: “I’m not Matt! I never was!”

    It’s a small, silly thing, and it’s something that Mike would logically say in this scene, etc. but I love it. It’s thematic. It’s satisfying. It’s basically the tagline for the "Real Boy” Mike story arc, and it’s fun to have him say it-- not only the “I’m not Matt”, but the “I never was” which is really what this issue is all about. It drives home the wild, mindblowing thing has been done here: Mike, who was Matt, is now really, truly his own person-- and not only that, but he has made it so that maybe (again-- we’re still waiting on confirmation) he has always been his own person. He is not Matt, he is not his father, he is himself. And he has found the power (literally) to claim that autonomy for himself. 

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x10 - American Woman

EPISODE SUMMARY:

SECRETS OF THE PAST — After uncovering a cryptic message from the past, Alex (Tyler Blackburn), Isobel (Lily Cowles), Max (Nathan Dean), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Maria (Heather Hemmens) set out in search of answers at the reservation where Alex’s mother grew up. Meanwhile, Cameron (guest star Riley Voelkel) encourages Liz (Jeanine Mason) to reach out to someone from her past after Auturo (guest star Carlos Compean) gets detained. Marcus Stokes directed the episode written by Rick Montano & Vincent Ingaro & Jason Gavin (#210). Original airdate 5/18/2020. 

DETAILS:

Tripp brings Louise to the Reservation in a body bag where the Navajo doctors are able to save her life.

"Your message said that you were gonna bring two women that would be no trouble.  This looks like a lot of trouble."

"I must have gotten the codes wrong."

"No, don't give me that Manes man nonsense. Not here in my own home."

"Her name is Louise. I promised her friend Nora I'd protect them. My brother triggered an ambush before I could get them here. And Nora…"

"Wait, what does the Air Force want them for?"

"They're not from around here. They're from...up north."

"Yìiyáh. No. She can't stay here… What if your brother comes here and finds a fugitive.  I can't put my people at risk for a white woman."

"Please. You're the only person I trust. If she doesn't make it, it was all for nothing."

"I'll have you remember that I was the one that saved your ass in Okinawa. I don't owe you anything. I'm only doing this because you're my family. And because I'm a damn fool."

A few notes on this scene:

--I don't know why Tripp pretends he got the codes wrong.  Unless he's spiraling and talking about the timing of the attack.  But it seems like he means the message that he was bringing them to the reservation.  Clearly things didn't go according to plan.  Though, it is always possible that we're still missing bits of the story.

--OG Easter Egg.  "They're not from around here.  They're from up north." For anyone who didn't watch OG, this is almost exactly how the exchange went when Max told Liz he was an alien in the 1999 pilot.

--Yìiyáh - I found nothing on this word.  I'm assuming that it's a curse word or general exclamation of negativity, but literally got zero results on google. It's possible, of course, that it's misspelled in the captions.  There were a lot of errors in the captions in this opening scene.

--While there really isn't any overt statement that Alex is half Navajo and this town is part of Navajo Nation (which has been in the news a lot lately and therefore is a good place in this country to be aware of), there's lots of clues or subtle enough statements that I feel like it can be accepted as fact, since: Harrison is a codetalker, the necklace is Navajo, tsela is a Navajo word. So I did a little peeking and it could work.  The closest Navajo town is about a 4 hour drive from Roswell.

Navajo Nation: 

(side note - Navajo Nation has extreme poverty but also is utterly gorgeous. And the Tribe gets income from tourism. Just a few places there that I'm dying to go? Monument Valley, Antelope Canyon, Shiprock.  Check it out.)

Liz comments on Max's irregular heartbeat, with literally no acknowledgment of the fact that she's straddling him and has a history of causing his heart to race...and other forms of lack of control (think 1x03).

"I'm excited about this though. You know Alex dug up all that info on our bio Mom. You sure you can't come?"

"Got to take my dad in for his blood tests. I want to check on Jenna too.  Cannot believe she's back in the hospital again."

"She's been in pain for weeks. I have no leads on the mysterious hunting van, and Charlie hasn't made contact."

"Hmm. To be fair, I do hear that phone service is a little spotty in flying saucers."

"Okay, I get that. You think my alien abduction theory is bogus."

"I know you're worried that this has something to do with you, but I don't think this is an alien thing."

"Cam and I had fractal burns on our necks. We had no memory of what happened. That's alien stuff. I just want clarity on something."

--Note that it's past time to abandon all hope of anything resembling a defined timeline for this show...once again we have weeks passing between episodes. This is the second time this season that the time passing has only been generically described as "weeks".  It's been at least a year since Liz came back to Roswell (per her conversation with Diego), but a year would be summer (late May or early June, specifically), and in this episode Isobel mentions that it's winter (which would be a year and a half).

Maria's pitch:

"In conclusion, esteemed members of the Roswell Tourism Board, while the Pony is normally a sanctuary for locals during CrashCon, I think that my plan to turn it into the Contact Cantina Pop-Up Bar will be a hit with alien fans."

"We're talking more money than we first speculated, aren't we now?"

"You know, Mayor Bernhardt, I forgot to tell you about our new morning cocktail… It's coffee, vanilla cream, and our best bourbon. Let me get you a double."

Note: so this is the famous Mayor Bernhardt. Funded by the Long family. Doesn't like immigrants. Had a racist relative who wouldn't give first prize to the black man.

Maria's vision…

Herself, younger, sitting at the Pony bar. 

"You have to let me go! You're just crazy! And I'm trapped!"

And then she runs from the bar crying.

She's not wearing the necklace.

Describing it to Michael:

"I had a vision, but it was more like a memory. Of a fight I had with my mom when I was younger."

Isobel interrupts Michael and Maria to pick them up for the road trip. Just a few relevant excepts from this scene:

"Pack your bags. We're going on a family road trip."

"Is this why Max wanted the day off?"

"In the photo of Max and Isobel's bio Mom, there was a water tower. Alex recognized that water tower from the town where his mom grew up. You should come with us."

Alex and Forrest talk in the Crashdown:

"Hope that limp isn't from a paintball injury."

"Nope. Those bruises have mostly healed. I just got a new prosthetic. Takes a minute to get used to. You working on your book?"

"I write my book on my computer.  However, I write my angsty emo poetry in an angsty emo journal."

"I'm actually working on some poetry myself. Well, song lyrics, technically. It's a lot harder than it was in high school."

"Yeah, writing was easier for me when I was a kid too. Feelings...we bury 'em now. You just got to find that thing inside of you that doesn't have a voice. Lend it yours. You know? Listen, I have like, zero musical talent, but if you need help with the worst part, we could, uh…"

"Actually I'm leaving tomorrow for a few days to go talk to some recruits."

Michael interruptus, and the conversation goes casual.

--What happened to "angsty nerd isn't really my type." Or...was it FORESHADOWING!!!?! 😂

--Oh hi there clear shot of Forrest's clearly Deep Sky logoed ring…

Cam has been having debilitating migraines that have been keeping her bedridden since the abduction.

Nurse Kate is a badass. she tries to keep ICE from getting into a patient's room. Liz hears her and hurries to the waiting room, where there's more ICE activity. Liz panics and tries to get Arturo out of the hospital, but she caught the attention of the ICE officers. However, Liz knows her rights.

"He has applied for his green card. I'm his sponsor, okay? This is his G-1145 right here."

"You can show that to the court."

"It's okay. Call the lawyer."

"No. He is a diabetic. It is illegal to detain a patient."

"Exigent circumstances. Move."

"No. Hey, this is an unconstitutional arrest and the ACLU will be all over you."

"Elizabeth, we respect the law in this family. If you're in trouble, who will take care of the mouse?"

--G-1145 is a request for confirmation that your green card application has been accepted:

--The timing of this all. Liz has been prepared for this moment all her life and would fight it to the point of getting arrested herself, if not for Rosa. Rosa's safety is the only thing that convinces Liz to step aside.

--As an only semi related note, this is a really interesting contrast to how they wrote Jeanine's character out on Grey's Anatomy.  

--Also feel like it would be remiss of me to not point out Liz's reactiveness and fightinf mentality is mirroring how Liz initially reacted to Max pulling her over in the pilot.

"Okay. So the Deputy on call says there's one detention center in the county. Here's the info."

"He doesn't have anything left in Mexico. No one. Nowhere to go."

"You can't think like that right now."

"I think like this always. Rosa and I used to recite our escape plan for if our parents got deported and we got separated in foster care. I begged my parents not to tell Santa where we lived because I was afraid he'd ask for papers. My whole life was built on a fear of this day coming, and it's here. If I'd have kept better track of his health, he wouldn't need these tests. I should have made him move to California. I thought we were safe being outside the hundred-mile zone, but after this election I should have known better. And I should have made him wear a sweater this morning because it's freezing out there. And what if he…?"

"...okay think. Is there someone we can call?"

"Kyle's at a conference, but I can have him call his mom."

"Do you know anyone with some real power? You know, Federal muscle?"

Cam gets dressed to take Liz to the Detention Center and Liz calls Diego for help.

The road trip group arrive at the reservation and meet Gregory Manes.  He says he remembers them all from high school.  He takes Max, Michael, and Isobel to learn about Louise while Alex and Maria go jewelry shopping.

Meanwhile Gregory is taking the Pod Squad to Louise's grave, but pauses for some flirting:

"You're still the Isobel Evans who convinced the basketball captain to pull four different fire alarms to get out of AP Gov, right? Yeah, legend. Here she is."

"Oh my God, it's covered in flowers.  It's winter."

"Rumor is they grow year-round unattended. She was a healer. I'm told she helped with trauma, addiction, that sort of thing. All without speaking."

"This another grave?"

"She was pregnant."

"Louise arrived gravely injured. And the baby didn't survive.

--Louise died the same day the Pod Squad came out of the pods, confirming that she is probably the old woman on the reservation that was described in 1x09.

--Michael found the mysterious purple flowers growing on Louise's grave.

Alex and Maria at the trading post.

"Are you okay? Seem a little off."

"I had a vision during a meeting this morning. It almost cost me a deal that could save the bar. Maybe I should just wear the necklace. Go back to being a social media guru. Slash barkeep. Slash magical trope in our redneck mayor's fantasy."

"So why did you really come today? Your ideal day off isn't fighting for the radio silence with Isobel Evans, so…"

"This is the back of my necklace. The word stamped in the silver says Tsela. The necklace is Navajo, so I thought maybe that was the jeweler, but no one I've asked here seems to know who made it. I just want answers."

"Well, there's a ton of silver jewelry for sale here. So why don't we just keep looking for something with the same stamp?"

Pod Squad sharing a bottle of acetone by Louise's grave.

"Noah said our planet was war-torn. But the hell they found here can't have been worth it."

"Do you think that Louise's baby died from her injuries or do you think maybe it was never going to survive?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I was pregnant. When you died. Obviously I'm not anymore. I just can't help wondering if that was my last chance. Assuming that humans and aliens can't procreate because they're different species. Maybe that little baby wasn't viable."

"You almost died during the abortion, didn't you? I could feel it. Noah almost killed you again, huh? Oh, I need a minute."

After Max leaves Michael offers to be a sperm donor for Isobel if she ever wants to have a kid.

Liz at the Detainment Center

"It's Ortecho. Arturo Ortecho. He's my dad. And he needs gliclazide and beta-blockers. I brought both."

"We can't take contraband here, but there is an infirmary on-site, if he's here."

"You know, out of curiosity, did Nebane Abienwi visit an infirmary before he died of a brain bleed in your custody? What about Johana Medina León? She was 25 years old, okay? People walk through those doors and they die...Who's your supervisor? You need prior approval before conducting enforcement in a hospital. There was a compliance memo."

"Right, a memo, which is just like a law only not. Unless you calm down, I'm gonna arrest you for obstruction."

"Okay, Liz, maybe sit down.  Sir, I'm Deputy Jenna Cameron, and we appreciate your interpretation of your guidelines, but we have an urgent health concern about an inmate here, if you just wouldn't mind checking the system."

Jenna goes with the agent…when she returns...

"Do you have a court case next week for a vandalism charge?"

"What? Yes, but I didn't do it. I'm just gonna plead guilty and pay the fine. It's nothing."

"They denied your dad's green card application because of a misdemeanor on your record. You can't be his sponsor."

Jenna's headaches overtake her. Meanwhile, the ICE agent comes back with news:

"Here just came up. Ortecho is being transferred to El Paso for his deportation hearing. You can see him there around Tuesday."

--Liz's misdemeanor is taking the fall for Rosa's vandalism from when she was arrested by Sheriff Valenti in 2x02.

Gregory takes the Pod Squad to see Harrison who is on his death bed.  Manes boys are always welcome here, the woman tells them. Harrison is the only one Louise ever spoke to on the reservation.

"He met my great uncle Tripp Manes fighting in WWII.  Harry was a code talker."

Michael gets Gregory to leave with him so that Max and Isobel can go inside of Harrison's head. Their conversation:

"You look like her."

"Harrison.  You look different."

"That was a lesson I learned from Louise. How to take your mind to a better time when you're in pain. Come on. I haven't seen the sky in a while. I'll tell you about her...I taught Tripp the codes in the Pacific. That's how we set up the rescue. He was supposed to snuggle Louise and Nora here, but the plan fell apart."

In the past between Harrison and Tripp:

"You've changed. The man I met on that ship obeyed orders."

"Guess I saw what happens when good men fall in line with bad orders. I'm a Christian, Harry. When evil itself tells me to kill a woman with child, I disobey. Even if the evil looks just like my brother."

A nurse rolls Louise into the room in a wheelchair.

"Did you find a family for her?"

"There should be music where you take her. I think she's a dancer."

"You can give her a house full of music, Louise. Nora wanted me to protect you so that you could protect the child."

"No. He's coming for me and I can't even move. No. When the devil comes, I won't be able to fight for her. Please. It is hard to be a woman on your planet.  It's only gonna be harder still for her. Roy Bronson believed in meeting hatred with compassion. And I want her to be like him. A light in the darkness. A little star on the ground. I want that for both my girls."

"Where did he take the baby?"

"Can't say."

"No. Tell us where our sister went."

"She isn't your sister. Louise rarely spoke, but when she did, she spoke of two daughters. Two stars on the ground. She had no sons. You aren't hers. You came from something else...She lived for decades longer than she should have, trapped inside of a body that could no longer dance, waiting for a sign that you would be all right. She loved you."

Jenna wakes up back at the hospital.

"I asked them to run a new test. Your headaches are spinal headaches. Because there was a hole torn into your spinal cord."

"I'm sorry, what? My kidnappers gave me a spinal tap?"

"Do you mind signing off so I can look at your tox screen?"

"Yeah, of course, but, Liz, you don't have to do this, okay? Your dad, and…"

"I need a distraction. I can't leave for El Paso until tomorrow, and they're not letting him have visitors other than his lawyer until Tuesday, so...thank you for being here. You used your privilege to help me. I'm furious that I needed it, but I needed it."

--Reposado is a type of tequila

--Spinal Headaches:

Isobel and Max on what they learned from Harrison:

"You've always been different than me and Michael, okay? Always. You were the leader. From the start. I mean, you're the special one. You're the healer."

"I was. Now I can't even sneeze without my heart skipping a beat. All my life, no matter how weird things got, I never felt alone. Because I was your twin. Maybe I'm different. Maybe I'm a freak...I can't stop thinking about being chained up when I was a kid. It didn't feel like someone bad chained me up. It felt like I was the someone bad."

"Max, you're not dangerous."

"Saving people destroys me. But killing Noah? That felt good. I was high. And whenever I think about what he did to you, I want to chase that high. I wish I could kill him a thousand times. Louise mentioned the devil. Maybe something evil was chasing them. And maybe that something was me."

"Okay. I want to show you something. You see this hand on her shoulder there? See, Michael thought it was just someone who got cropped out of the photo, but no. Any female would recognize that body language. She does not want that hand on her. Louise said the devil would come. I think something evil was after them, but it wasn't you. I want to find out who it was."

Alex and Gregory:

"Hey, I just wanted to say thank you before we go. I also feel like I should congratulate you on getting out."

"Of the Navy?"

"Of the family. Getting out from under Dad."

"You got to break free of him, man."

"Do you feel free?"

"I don't think I get to be free until you are, Alex. You know, you're my brother. I wish that I would've stood up for you more."

"You know, I think he's actually getting a little bit better. It's like the stroke melted away the psycho in his brain or something." 

"If you can forgive him you should. Cast off the stone. Let me hate him for you. I owe you that much."

Back at the trading post with the whole road trip group.

"We scoured the store for jewelry that said Tsela on it, but nada. Although I did manage to spend an entire week's worth of tips anyway."

"Tsela?"

"Yeah it was printed on the back of my grandmother's necklace. I thought I might find some answers here."

"Well, apparently, it is Navajo for star on the ground. So, you guys ready to go?"

"Star on the ground.  Maria? What year was your grandmother born?"

"Uh, '48, I think?"

"Was she adopted?"

"Yeah. Oh my God."

"Your grandmother was my sister."

Note: The direct translation of Tsela is stars lying down. Interestingly, it's often a name in Navajo. When I googled it, the top results were names for Navajo boys.

Diego and Liz's conversation:

"Diego, I never would have reached out if it weren't an emergency. Thank your mom for me."

"The Senator was more than happy to call in a favor. She's always liked you."

"I like her too. We need more people like her."

"Look, we got lucky your dad got out at all, much less without an ankle monitor. And you pissed a few people off back there, so it's not likely that this is the end for you. Who's your lawyer? Or should I make some calls?"

"No, you've done enough. After what I did, I can't even believe you listened to my voicemail...How did you get here so fast?"

"I was at the airport in Phoenix when you called. Just had to reroute real fast."

"And how have you been?"

"Well, my fiancée left me. I'm kidding. No, I'm seeing someone.  It's getting pretty serious, so…"

"Good. Me too."

"Good. We can be friends...And don't take this the wrong way. Please tell me you're not wasting that incredible brain of yours writing alien hamburger puns."

"I am working on a few projects. Nothing I can talk about, but, I'm not wasting anything."

"Well, all the coolest studies make you sign NDAs anyway, so…"

"You know what? There actually is something...Do you know what butyricol is?  Worth a shot. It's this chemical I found in my friend's tox screen. I had never heard of it."

"Maybe you're slacking, Ortecho."

"I am sorry, it has only been a year. Did you literally forget everything about me?"

Note: I'm very pleased to say that when I googled butyricol, half of the top results were RNM related.  Definitely not a real drug.

Malex fight in the bunker:

"We're closed!"

"Hey, that alien console piece that Jim Valenti left me...You still have it?"

"No. I sold it on eBay."

"You didn't attach it to your console."

"I tried. Doesn't fit."

"So, Tripp left this for my dad before he died. My dad thought it was a code, but this is a reference sketch of this exact piece. My dad's been looking for this thing for 30 years and Jim Valenti had it all along...I'm gonna give it to him. I want to see what he does with it once he's got it. Look, if it didn't fit in your console, then it fits somewhere else. My dad could lead us there.""Your dad hunts aliens, Alex. He'll lead my family right off a cliff."

"I've protected you so far. That's not changing. Besides, he's different these days...I don't trust him, Guerin. I just…I'm asking you to trust me.""When we were kids, you believed people were good, despite humanity doing everything to prove you otherwise. And, God, I loved you for it. But what was charming when we were 17, it's just stupid now. How do you not see that? You believe there's some good in your father?"

"Yeah. Yeah I do. God forbid I have faith in people who don't give me a good reason to."

"That's not fair."

"No? Why is your hand covered? You miss your injury because you want to hurt. Your anger made you feel safe. I will always hate my father for what he did to you, but I don't want to live in that toolshed for the rest of my life. I don't want to walk around thinking that people don't change, that one day everyone's just gonna let me down, 'cause I am not building a damn rocket ship in a hidden lair. There's one way for me off this planet. And I need to believe in a reason to stay. I promise I'll keep you safe."

"Can't let you leave with that."

"What are you gonna do? Fight me for it?"

And then Alex leaves and is kidnapped. Hit over the head by an unknown assailant. The note from Tripp blows away.

Max and Liz are talking back at Max's house while Max drinks a lot of bourbon.

"You know, you never told me why your parents immigrated here in the first place."

"My dad wanted a family, but not in Juárez. There was no opportunity, no money. Women were disappearing there all the time. He didn't want my mom to be one of them. So he fled. You're wondering why your family came here."

"If I even had a family. I know so little about my own story. And the parts I thought I understood are just unraveling."

"Max. Family is the one area where I am certain that biology does not matter. Look, when I found out that Rosa was only my half sister that didn't change anything."

"This is different...There are only three of us on this planet, as far as we know. I mean, feeling disconnected from them makes me feel completely alone."

"Completely alone? I'm right here."

"When you needed a rescue today your Mensa society, old money son of a senator ex was there to answer your prayers. I couldn't even answer a call. You didn't need me."

"Oh my God. Okay, so would you prefer that I did need you? Would you prefer to come home to find me crying into my dad's windbreaker so that you can swoop me up and drive me to El Paso for his deportation hearing in the morning?"

"That's not fair. You wanted me to talk about today."

"Yes, okay. I'm sorry. I want you to feel better."

"Well, you think maybe you could go back in time and not meet someone as handsome as Diego? Seriously. He's like if someone mixed a cologne ad with a Kennedy. It's ridiculous. I will never feel adequate again."

"You're wrong. Max, let me be clear. You are objectively better in bed...And I never woke up on a Sunday morning to him singing Hank Williams in the shower...He never snuck unreasonable tips into my dad's checks. Or quoted Henry the Fourth. Coming home to you at the end of my worst days and my best days is the only rescue I need."

I actually found this background on the Ortechos to be fascinating.  In case you don't know Juárez is a pretty big city directly opposite the border from El Paso. It does have some huge crime issues. But it also is one of those border cities where the border is a little thinner. Like San Diego and Tijuana.  People live in Juárez and work in El Paso and vice versa.

If you want to see a really dark & gritty portrayal of Juárez, I'd highly recommend you to check out the American version of the show The Bridge.  Which literally deals with an investigation related to disappearing women.

Isobel and Maria at the Pony:

"She looks so determined."

"Yeah, neither of us would be here if she hadn't been. You know she was paralyzed 50 years and she still managed to use her powers to help ease troubled minds. You know how hard that is? To take on someone else's suffering? I mean, it doesn't just disappear. She would have been carrying all of that."

"She suffered so much loss."

"I don't know how to be worth it."

Michael on the bracelet.

"The beads are made with pollen from the alien flower. I found another plant growing at Louise's grave. Okay my working theory is that they grow from alien remains. There's this UFO lore about that Libyan desert where the flowers have been discovered before. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. I know better than to think I can save Maria DeLuca. I hope you decide you can save yourself."

Max is still drinking after Liz went to bed.  At 4:04am Diego calls and wakes her up. 

"I made a call, about that toxin in your friend's system. Butyricol. It's a drug. It's a memory eraser. It was developed by a private organization and purchased by the military for weaponization. There's no approved application outside of violent combat."

Liz tries to call Alex, but he's too busy being unconscious in the back of his SUV.  So his kidnapper pockets his phone.

Max has a memory flash. There's fighting, weapons clashing, a woman's voice...all while he's chained down in the cave. Louise appears and kneels down to touch his shoulder.  He looks afraid, but she's trying to comfort him (even though she has blood splattered all over her white clothes). She smiles and nods and then cuts Max free of the chains with her alien weapon. She offers him her hand, but before he can take it a figure in white appears and he and Louise fight. Max cries out and hides his face.

Present day Max is visibly shook by the flash.

MUSIC:

1.  Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"

2.  Powerslide "Just You And I"

3.  Will Fox "Against The Tide"

4.  Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Girl Next Door (Part 4) - Alright

Summary: Dean helps Sam through a hard morning and the reader bumps into Dean at work...

The Girl Next Door Masterlist

Pairing: Neighbor/Mechanic!Dean x baker!reader

Word Count: 3,100ish

Warnings: language

A/N: Parts of this series are told from two different POV’s. Dean’s POV are written from limited third person. Reader’s POV are second person (like a typical reader insert). Enjoy!…

Dean’s POV

“Pancakes?” asked Dean when Avy trudged into the kitchen the next morning, taking a seat at the table besides a grumpy Sam. She groaned and threw her head down on the table, Sam almost smiling at her. “Avy, what’s wrong, sweetie?”

“I don’t wanna go to day camp,” she grumbled. “I want to stay home with daddy.”

“Well you were very excited to go not that long ago. West is gonna be there and Jenna and…” trailed off Dean, looking to Sam for help.

“A lot of your friends from school will be there. You’ll get to play games and sports. It’ll be way more fun than daycare was last year, I promise,” he said.

“Do I have to go everyday?” she asked.

“Not everyday,” said Sam, tucking her hair behind her ear, smiling at the messy braid she’d tried to do herself. “Once I’m a little better, you can stay home with me and we can play.”

“Fine,” she grumbled. Dean didn’t say anything more as he made up breakfast, Sam redoing Avy’s hair for her. Dean got Avy out the door after only one more protest and into the car of another parent who was taking the kids to camp that day.

“Hey, grumples,” said Dean as he walked back into the kitchen. Sam nearly glared at him, Dean raising an eyebrow. “Want to go get dressed?”

“I can do it myself,” said Sam. He stood up on his own and headed upstairs, Dean on his tail. Sam nearly slammed the bedroom door in his face, Dean catching it and stepping inside. “Leave me alone.”

“Hey. You had a little set back. That’s it. Stop being so pissed this morning. You know Avy can tell and it puts her in a bad mood too,” said Dean. Sam shoved him back against the door, leering down at his brother. Dean stayed relaxed though, Sam sighing as he shut his eyes. He shoved against Dean again but grabbed his shoulders this time.

“I’ve been dizzy since I got up this morning,” said Sam quietly, leaning his head against Dean. “Like really dizzy.”

“Okay. Can I sit you down on the bed?” asked Dean softly.

“Yeah,” said Sam. Dean arranged himself so he would catch Sam if it came to that and then walked him over to the mattress. He sat Sam back against the headboard and shoved a few pillows around him so he wouldn’t go anywhere. He left to get some water from the bathroom, returning to find Sam with his knees pulled into his chest and his chin resting on top of them.

“Here,” said Dean, getting out the medicine from the bottle in his nightstand, pouring two into his hand and handing them out to Sam. He popped them in his mouth and took the water Dean offered, returning to his position as Dean sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I didn’t take the medicine when I got up cause it makes me so freaking tired and I just want it all to go away but it won’t. It might never go away,” said Sam, a shaky breath escaping him.

“Sammy,” said Dean, peeling off one of Sam’s beanies he’d taken to wearing 24/7. Sam turned away, Dean getting a full view of the healing stitches on top of his head. “If I could trade places with you, I would. I’d do it in a heartbeat, I would.”

Sam looked back at him, about to speak when Dean lifted his chin.

“Hey. I’m your big brother. That’s my job, to take care of you,” said Dean with a smile. “Just let it out.”

“Let what out?” said Sam.

“Just cry and scream and shout however you to and get it out of your system. Stop with the brave face, alright? You did the same thing with Jess. You shoved it down until you popped and still you dove headfirst into work when you came out of it. Well you ain’t doing that this time. So let it out,” said Dean.

“I’m terrified,” said Sam with a smile, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “Of dying. Of leaving Avy alone with two dead parents at only six years old. I don’t think I’ll ever practice law again. I’m scared to drive a car ever again. I can’t even take a shower by myself...I’m scared of everything, De.”

“Well that’s okay,” said Dean.

“No it’s not,” said Sam, staring at his brother.

“Every time in life you’ve been scared, what do I say to you?” asked Dean.

“It’ll be alright,” he mumbled.

“How’s that worked out so far?” asked Dean.

“This is different.”

“Okay. It’s different. It’s still going to be alright,” said Dean, gently leaning forward and running a finger near Sam’s stitches. “You shouldn’t be alive. You had a chunk of metal in your head. It was literally sticking out of you, Sammy. You shouldn’t even be able to be walking and talking. But guess what? You are. You’re strong Sammy. I know you’re tired of being exhausted and dizzy and feeling helpless. You’ve had a hard few weeks. I know. But I also know how strong you are and that you’ll get through it. So when you get tired, you tell me and I will help you. Okay?”

Sam nodded, Dean pulling his beanie back on his head.

“Take a nap. I’m not working tomorrow so we’ll do something fun, get you out of the house,” said Dean. “Maybe even invite Eileen?”

“Shut up,” smiled Sam.

“You want to stay in your pajamas or let the hot nurse change you later?” teased Dean.

“You’re unbearable,” said Sam, rolling his eyes. “Give me something clean. I can change myself.”

“Alright, alright,” said Dean, going to Sam’s closet and coming back with a pair of loose shorts and a simple white v neck. Dean turned away while Sam dressed on the bed, surprisingly quickly too. When he finished, Dean went to the bathroom and grabbed a wet washcloth, wiping off Sam’s face. “Now you ain’t so stinky for the cute girl.”

“Go to work, loser,” said Sam, laying back on the bed.

“You think of something fun for us to do tomorrow, deal?” asked Dean.

“Okay, De,” mumbled Sam, burrowing his face in his pillow. It didn’t take long for Sam to fall asleep with the medicine in his system, Eileen at the door ten minutes later. Dean gave her the rundown on what had happened the night before but she didn’t seem too overly concerned which eased a few of his worries.

He was halfway out the front door when he glanced over to Y/N’s porch. She was curled up on the seat with a cup of coffee in her hand and her laptop out, furiously typing away with one hand. There was a tuft of hair sticking up in the back but Dean didn’t want to interrupt her. She looked lost in her own little world over there.

And then he proceeded to trip down the last step and nearly do a face plant on the front path. She must have heard because she popped her head up, Dean quickly on his feet and flashing her a thumbs up.

“All good!” he said. She shook her head and smiled, a soft and goofy little smile, as she turned back to her computer. Dean felt his face heat up when he had his back to her and headed over to Baby, climbing inside with a smile of his own.

Reader’s POV

“Okay, 1209 Main…” you said, doing your last drop off just before noon. It looked like a garage, not the typical customer for your kind of business but the cake and platter of cookies was for a retirement party and you figured they wanted to make it special for the guy. You rang the phone number on the order, a sweet southern voice picking up.

“Hunter’s garage. How may I help you today?” he said.

“Hi, may I speak to a Benny Lafitte?” you asked.

“Speaking, cher,” he said with a chuckle.

“Hi Mr. Lafitte. This is Y/N from Sinful Sweets. I have your order right out front,” you said.

“Oh, thank you. One of the other boys has got boss man out of the shop so you can bring it right on in,” he said.

“Sure thing,” you said as you hung up. You grabbed the two pink boxes, not a huge cake by any means, probably only five or six guys worked there if you had to guess. You walked in through the open double garage doors, heading over to the front desk where a man was walking out from an office.

“Well thank you very much, darling,” he said, taking the boxes from you and setting them on the counter. “We’ve heard wonderful things about your bakery business.”

“Oh. Well that’s very flattering of you to say,” you said with a smile.

“Deano says your chocolate chips are to die for,” he said.

“Deano? Dean Winchester?” you asked, spotting a tuft of brown hair walk around from the front of a car.

“Hey!” he said with a big smile, coming over to lean against the counter. He had grease on his face and hands, Benny eyeing him up and down. “I didn’t know you delivered your own stuff too.”

“Normally I don’t. My summer hire for delivery has the day off,” you said.

“Coconut cream. I bet this cake is going to be amazing,” said Dean to Benny.

“You’re hopeless, brother,” said Benny, rolling his eyes and slapping Dean on the back. “Come on. I ain’t paying you to flirt with pretty girls.”

“You ain’t my boss yet,” smirked Dean.

“As of five tonight I am. Five minutes. I only got you a few hours a week and you’re officially the second best mechanic we have at five tonight so-”

“Oh, I don’t want to get Dean in trouble,” you said, Dean rolling his eyes at Benny.

“I’m just messing with him, cher. Deano and I go back to what, fifth grade? New kid in town. Deano has a habit of taking the new kids in under his wing,” said Benny.

“I do not,” said Dean.

“Uh, first it was Cas in what, first grade? Me in fifth, then Garth in ninth-”

“Sounds like he’s got a point, Dean,” you teased.

“Well sounds like you’re the newest new kid around,” said Benny, flashing Dean a wink. “You’re welcome.”

“Go put up some streamers that Bobby’s going to hate, doofus,” said Dean.

“I’m sure I’ll see you around, Ms. Sinful Sweets,” said Benny, smiling as he walked away with the boxes. Dean sighed and shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“Sorry about him. You know how guys can be,” he said.

“I like him,” you said, Dean chuckling. “So your boss is retiring?”

“Mhm. Bobby. He’s actually Sammy and mine’s uncle. My Aunt Ellen finally convinced him to retire. The whole thing with Sam a few weeks ago...they want to get out there and do stuff before it’s too late, you know? Benny’s normally his backfill anyways. He’ll do a good job,” he said.

“I’m surprised you’re not the new boss,” you said.

“I was offered first but I can’t really commit the time with Sam and everything right now,” he said.

“Well, I think that’s very sweet of you. Maybe once Sam’s feeling better you and Benny could co-run the place,” you said.

“Maybe,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t think I’m boss material. You run a business. You know how hard it is.”

“I got faith you could,” you said.

“That makes one of us,” he said with a smile.

“Sam doing any better this morning?” you asked, Dean scratching his cheek, getting a splotch of grease on himself.

“Yeah. He’s okay. He’s got this handled. He’s just a bit impatient,” he said, looking over your head. He pursed his lips and put his hands in his pockets, staring down at his feet. “Actually this morning was a bit rough. Medically he’s fine. He got pretty scared though. I really fucking hate seeing him like that. I’m going to get him out of the house tomorrow. I think that’ll be good for him.”

“That sounds like a good idea. He was always go go go it seemed,” you said. You rubbed his arm, Dean glancing down at where you were touching. “You okay too?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Y/N,” he said, a small grin crossing his face. “We still on for Saturday?”

“Well I did have a date with this ridiculously hot guy but he had to cancel on me so I suppose I can hang out with you,” you said, tilting your head up at him.

“Same thing happened to me! Darn hot people,” he said, smirking at you. You bit your bottom lip, giggling to yourself when he wiped more grease across cheek. “Something on my face?”

“Just a little. I’ll see you later,” you said.

“Later, sweetheart.”

“Hello?” you said as you answered your phone a few hours later.

“Hey, Y/N. This is Sam, Winchester. I got your number from Dean if that’s okay,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s cool. What’s up, Sam?” you asked. “Need something?”

“I just...wanted to say thanks. Last night. I know you took care of me, all of us. Especially Avy. I appreciate that,” he said.

“You Winchesters are all the same, I swear,” you said as you laughed. “It’s fine Sam. As long as you’re healthy, I’m good.”

“I got a favor to ask if that’s okay,” he said.

“Shoot,” you said, hopping up on your counter.

“Eileen has to run to her other patient for the day and it looks like Dean’s hung up at our Uncle’s retirement party,” he said, taking a deep breath.

“Want to come hang out?” you asked.

“Thank you for not making me ask,” he said quietly.

“Ask what?” you teased. “Have Eileen drop you off. I got some new frosting flavors you can try out for me while you’re here.”

“Red velvet and orange creamsicle are a go. Blackberry needs some work,” you said, jotting it down while Sam was licking his lips clean. “You got a super taste like Dean?”

“No. I think that only applies to him and pie but he’ll never turn down a free dessert,” said Sam. He looked around your kitchen, tilting his head at the pile of work papers you had shoved at one end of the table. “Y/N. Can I ask how long you’ve been in business?”

“About a year, a little less,” you said. “Since I moved in here.”

“Eileen says you guys used to live about an hour away?” he asked. “In Kansas City?”

“Yeah,” you said. “We were roommates back in school. She tell you I drop out too?”

Sam didn’t say anything. You smiled, writing a note to pick up some more blackberries.

“S’okay. I’m sure she has,” you said.

“I figured you realized you didn’t want to do that the rest of your life, be a doctor I mean,” he said.

“I never particularly wanted to be one but I’d probably still be in it if...we had a bad pile up one night. It was too much for me. I decided I wanted to do what I wanted to with my life,” you said. “Stop doing what I thought I was supposed to.”

“Hence the bakery?” he asked.

“Yeah. I always loved it. I love the baking side. The business side not so much but I don’t mind being small,” you said. “Self-employment ain’t that bad. Never got to ask the boss for time off either.”

“Well, I’m sort of unemployed at the moment if you ever want me to help out,” said Sam. “In exchange for your babysitting services that is.”

“I thought Avy went to camp during the day?” you asked.

“I meant me,” he said, cheeks pink for a moment.

“We’re just hanging out. I think you should rest though, Sam. You look tired,” you said. “Take a nap for a few minutes.”

“Dean said some stuff to me this morning. I don’t think I want to go back to being a lawyer,” he said. You lifted your chin, Sam looking around. “I worked too much. I want to spend more time with my girl, have a life again. You know?”

“I get that,” you said, Sam’s eyes going back to the stack of papers. “Sam. I don’t need a business partner. This is more to give me something to do than anything else. I don’t want to grow into some huge business either. I want to stay a mom and pop shop.”

“Alright,” he said, staring at you with big eyes and a little pout.

“I’ll think about it, okay?” you said, Sam smiling to himself. “How do you not get everything you want with a face like that?”

“Dean keeps yelling at me to stop giving him puppy dog eyes. It’s one of his weaknesses,” he said.

“I’m sure it is. So what interests you so much about the baking business?” you asked.

“Nothing. But you could use some organizational help, give you more time to focus on the baking side,” he said.

“Sam, you’d never in a million years come close to making what you do as a lawyer,” you said.

“I got a nest egg. I’m not worried about money. I worry about different stuff nowadays,” he said, rubbing his palm.

“How about once you are cleared to return to work, we revisit this conversation but until then, you are always free to come over during the work day if you get bored, hm?” you said.

“Deal.”

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

[lifesbecomings]

The email

Hi Drew— I just wanted to  clarify something and share some perspective. First off, I want to say that I understand and respect Denison’s admissions process. I reached out a few days ago to everyone just curious about the process and wanted to talk about options to continue my education, IF even possible, through Denison! With the positive feedback from everyone and your first email, and then mention, even as a slight possibility, of spring enrollment...one certainly can understand my excitement and push for more discussion and my initiative to get applied/enrolled. With that said I am still curious about steps in general. And maybe I applied as the wrong type of student.  I know there are openings still this spring, and especially in the EDUC classes (like EDUC 390), and thought "wow, maybe this is all aligning because it's meant to be."  If it is or isn't meant to be, I'm at peace with whatever the decision is or remains. But Denison will always be my first choice. I did leave in 2017 as a medical leave student, and technically I wasn't pursuing a degree through CCS, just taking classes, many students take summer classes or semesters (like if on academic suspension), and then come back and return to campus. I know usually students typically return 1-2 years, and I understand there are deadlines and I know their importance. In no way shape or form am I trying to surpass these. When I first reached out, I said I'd be happy to discuss ANY options in a return.  Others, throughout the thread, were mentioning a spring return and spring availability and how fantastic this could be. Both Karen Graves and Baker were on board in the Educ. department, where I am majoring, presumably for a spring enrollment.  Maybe it is the fact I only have art credits as transfers. Was it that they were hoping for more core class transfers? Either way, to be perfectly transparent, whatever the outcome is, I will be taking spring classes. As well as summer classes. I want to get my degree. My first choice is Denison. If there is anyway to make this a possibility still. You already know, It would be my pleasure to stay in touch, and I will happily move to Ohio and take classes back on campus in the fall. Denison holds a special place in my heart. I hope my time on campus impacted those I came into contact with, as much as they impacted me. The Briefing: Within the last 2 weeks. Literally, two weeks, a series of events occurred that made me see the potential I could have. It started with a ski lesson, we had philosophy lessons up the chairlift, and the technical skiing lessons going down the hill. It was eye opening. I realized I need to work on my patience, but It also made me realize that I don't have to do something I do not enjoy. Moreover, it made me recognize I need to stop running from what satisfies me the most, people, education, learning, and teaching. I shut myself off in 2017 to the idea of "traditional schooling". I thought, "It's not for me". " I'm not good at it".  It stuck.  That is, until January 6th 2021, when I had this ski lesson. The ski lesson in combination with my parents friend, a teacher from Brother Rice High School,  got me thinking. I was thinking and analyzing myself. My change in perspective was shocking. I needed to accept my talents and embrace them, instead of shutting them out and rejecting them. It is so funny how we sabotage ourselves.  This is the start of my story. About how I found my drive and fulfillment. Below are three personal stories I would like to share. 1.  Monkey Bars. 

There is a story my mother always would tell me growing up about my perseverance and determination. When I was very young, 4 years old, there was a set of monkey bars on the school playground. After school one day I told my mom I wanted to go across the monkey bars. The only problem...I did not know how to do them. But, I had watched other kids that day at recess. So I was determined to figure it out. We were there for 2-3 hours. I was bound and determined to do those monkey bars. I knew that was what I wanted. I had numerous failed attempts, failure after failure, my mother began to beg me to leave with her because my hands were all beaten up, blistered, and bloodied, I still kept going. I made it all the way across those monkey bars that day, and every day after. There is another story, too, a similar story about me riding a two wheeler. Same determination, different goal. Both accomplished. 

2. My Miracle.

A senior in college, to the modern western world, is still considered "young". If you're in school, attending high school or even attending university, to have a child anywhere, at any time in that mix, It is looked down upon, plain and simple.  I chose to not tell any of my peers, while I was at Denison, my fall semester, that senior year, in 2017. I kept this knowing to myself. I told my parents, and told the father/ fathers parents. Guess what was encouraged? An abortion. Whether verbally spoken (which it was) or unspoken, I knew this is what was wanted from me, wanted for me. I mean, it was, after all, the easiest thing to do. I could still finish my degree and the family could always come later in my life. So, I did just that. I went in for that appointment, at 5 weeks. 

Statistically speaking it is 99% effective. Did you know, 1:4 women will have had an abortion in their lifetime. It's neither here nor there, just an incredible statistic. I actually came back to Denison to finish out my degree after. Putting the past behind me. I enjoyed a fantastic fall break that year in Philadelphia with friends, because through Denison my Junior year, I did a "study abroad," in Philadelphia (the best experience ever. Cannot speak enough about that program! So grateful Denison is a part of the Study in Philly!) 

Anyway, after coming back from break I wasn't myself that week at school. I came home, went to a doctor's appointment. Pregnant. I was 11 weeks pregnant. 1-2 weeks away from being in my second trimester. I knew. In that instant, I was keeping him. No one else understood, at the time, my decision. I was blamed on one side, entirely, for this outcome, the father still lives in denial. This is important information in my story, as it describes where I have been, who I am and who I've become. The father isn't, and has never been involved. This is fine. It's been uncomplicated. I'm actually very lucky. Besides, I know that my son and I deserve someone 100% interested in me AND my son, not an either or situation. So once making my decision, to continue with the pregnancy, I took one day. One day to be broken hearted, to feel like it was me against the world. Later, to my surprise, I found I had a support network bigger than I could ever have imagined.

I am blessed. I am loved. "We" are so loved. But it took me that one day to realize, the easiest thing is not always the right thing. I knew honestly from the day I first found out, I wanted this baby. And my god, has it not only blessed me, but this child of mine blesses and brings joy to anyone and everyone he meets. As a biased mother would say, he truly is something special. My choosing to bring this new life into the world, is an amazing and miraculous testimony to my dedication and character. Being a mother (parent) is one of the toughest jobs in the world. 

3. My Bakery.

First, back story: I tried to take some classes at College for Creative studies in 2018. Knowing I was more than "just a mom". I've done a lot of "soul" searching and self love in my time away. I didn't reach back to Denison at this time because I was convinced traditionally schooling just must not be for me. The root of it, I later would find, was that I was somehow undeserving of it. (super messed up mental ideal). Disclaimer: I, like many, struggled with self worth. Therapy is necessary and beautiful.  Anyway, continuing---I had a hobby of sketching.  Homes and houses always intrigued me, so I picked up some classes at CCS, interior design classes. This is where I realized a hobby does not make for a career. More importantly, I remembered the promise I had made to myself, that I didn't want anyone else raising my baby boy.  I was spending 60hrs + a week on projects and classroom time, leaving him home with my parents and babysitters, a little bit at first, then, more and more. So, I pulled the plug. 

When I give of myself I want to give 100%. If I was giving my school work 100% there was none left for my son. I had to pick between the two, and clearly, without a doubt, my baby boy was the sure pick. Schooling this time round failed because It was in person, he was not in school yet, and it was not practical or logistical. I stopped in OCT of 2019. Between October and December of 2019 I went stir crazy. I was 24/7 with my son, living at my parents home still, and my mental health was on the decline. I felt trapped. I needed a way out. And thus "A Degree Above Bakery" was born. I have made over 5,000 dollars in profits from this business. I have a standing order, weekly, with Westborn Market. However, this flow, and work is at my grace.  I can shut it down, permanently, or temporarily. I can drive it forward more, or scale it back, starting tomorrow.  I was determined to find a way out and give myself some "me" time, as well as doing something I enjoyed that gave me flexible hours to work with my son present. I originally started in my own home. Operating under the cottage food law. That is, until I started to rent space in Plymouth MI from Westborn Market in April 2020.  I bake Sundays currently. 

I created and established then registered my name. I created and bought a web domain.  I have my own labels and packaging I created. Every aspect of my business I have built and created. The brand, the marketing, getting into a grocery store. My point here, being, when I think of something, I do everything in my power to try to reach my goal, whatever the road block. When I get an idea, I see it through. To the best of my ability. __________ My overarching theme is determination. You will have nothing without it. I will be respectful and understanding of any final decisions, acceptance, reinstatement, or lack thereof. If there is still a slimmer of possibility to qualify for spring semester at Denison or be considered again... It would be an honor and mean more to me than any words could begin to describe. I had to take one last shot with you all,  before seeking another institution.  Rules and regulations will be forever. I understand this, but If there is anything I can do to help enhance my application/reinstatement/case/enrollment/scenario please don't hesitate to ask. I would be honored to commit to in person class on the hill in the fall, after taking summer classes, and taking the spring classes online at Denison, I also will be able to pay, in full, for the spring tuition as well as on campus next fall/winter. I also paid in full while being on campus every year from 2013-2016. Please also hear me when I say, yes, obviously I would do whatever and help to see a successful spring enrollment, but I would be happy to transfer credits from this spring (elsewhere), and summer, to complete classes on campus in the fall.  I will stay open minded to all possibilities, as I know Denison does! 

With much respect and appreciation, and excitement,

Sarah McNaughton

[mintchocolateleaves]

Emogust - 09.08: Stubbornness // @sup-poki - so the other day I rewatched that 1998 movie, ‘The Parent Trap’ and it gave me ideas for this-

“I think I can see what’s going on here,” Kaito says, leaning forward, practically halfway across the table. Aoko thinks he looks stupid when he does that, leaning on his elbows as if he’s preparing to climb over the diner table at any moment. “Wait – nope. What’s going on here?”

Aoko sighs, leans back in her chair.

Waving a hand towards the girl who’s sat beside her, Aoko offers a smile. She says, “this is Mouri Ran.”

“Yes,” Kaito says after a moment, “I kind of caught on after she introduced herself. Why do you two look identical?”

Ah, he’s always been quick. Aoko would give him a gold star if she had one. Although, actually, he’d probably like that, the weirdo.

“Well,” Aoko says, watching Ran from the corner of her eye. The girl tilts her head, offers a soft smile, reassuring. “That’s because we’re twins.”

His expression drops, and for a moment, Aoko isn’t sure what he’s thinking. A flash of fear, of concern? Something. Eventually, he settles on horror as he leans back against the cushioned booth.

“You mean to say there’s two of you?”

Ran frowns. Aoko lets out a dry laugh. “Very funny.”

“I know,” Kaito says, around a wink. “But like, I’m sorry – twins? Aoko, you’ve been an only child for sixteen years.”

“We’re identical!” She pauses, tries to smother the rising irritation that arises every time she talks with him. “And anyway, Ran-chan and I have proof.”

“Yes,” Rans says, quiet. She still seems like she’s in a state of shock, which Aoko supposes is understandable – they’ve only known about the others’ existence for a matter of days. “We found out very recently, but there’s overwhelming evidence, Kuroba-san.”

Aoko can see his eyes dull at the word evidence. She doesn’t call him out on it, simply reaches into her backpack and brings out the tiny memory box that belongs to her mother.

“That’s–” Kaito leans forward, eyebrows squinting. “You went into your mother’s room?”

She would find the concept of him knowing about the box suspicious, knowing his tendency to poke into things that aren’t his business, if they hadn’t been caught as children searching her mother’s bedroom as children.

“Uh-” Aoko hesitates, “well, yes, but only because I was looking for Goro. He was meowing like there’s no tomorrow. I thought he was hurt in there.”

Goro, their family cat. Aoko had wanted to name the blue Russian cat ‘Tsuki’ because his fur had reminded her of the moon, but her mother had insisted on the name.

And well, the cat had been named Goro from there on.

He’d never responded when Aoko had tried calling him Tsuki. Which – evil cat playing favourites. Maybe it was because her mother usually took him to the law firm with her?

Who knows.

“Anyway, I found this and I opened it. It doesn’t matter how.” Aoko opens the tin now, glances at things her mother has kept back over the years. There are a lot of photos of Aoko and her mother – some are taken with her mother at the Kisaki law firm, others with them on various trips out of town – and some with her and Kaito.

Some even have all three of them.

“Look at this,” Aoko says, moving the more recent pictures and taking the photograph at the very bottom of the tin out. It’s yellowing with age, crinkled ever so slightly. She passes it over to Kaito.

His eyes widen.

“Wow,” he says, hesitant, “that’s so weird. It’s almost hard to believe.”

Aoko nods. She glances at the photo again. It depicts Aoko’s mother in her hospital bed, presumably just after delivering them. She’s hugging a baby to her chest, a tired smile up at the camera. And beside her – the man Aoko has never known – her father.

He’s holding another baby. Aoko doesn’t know who’s holding her, but she likes to imagine she’s in her father’s arms here. That they had at least one photo together.

“I don’t get it,” Kaito says, “why would your parents not tell you about each other.”

Fiddling with her hair, Ran says, “my father didn’t tell me much about my mother growing up, but he always said that near the end of their relationship they had a lot of arguments. They couldn’t stand each other, so they split up.”

They receive a hum. And then, after another glance at the photograph, Kaito mumbles, “and here I thought the secrets my parents were keeping from me were big…”

Beneath the table, Aoko kicks him.

Ran doesn’t need to get involved in the whole KID business yet, thank you very much. She doesn’t want to explain to her newly found twin that the boy she’s been crushing on since they were kids is actually a master criminal.

“Ow,” he hisses and then, another glance at the photograph before he passes it back, “wait, isn’t this that famous sleeping detective, Mouri Kogoro?”

“Yes,” Ran says, and she flushes, as if nervous to have family recognised. “He’s my – I mean, Aoko-chan and I’s – father. Aoko-chan told me that she recognised him from the news and wanted to meet him, so she looked up the address of our agency and brought the photograph with her.”

At the weight of Kaito’s stare, Aoko finds her own cheeks burning red. She can practically hear the thoughts as if he’s plucking them from his own head and transferring them over to her: Your father is a detective?

“I wanted to see if he could tell me about the photo,” Aoko says, trying to explain. “I’ve never had a father before, so I- Anyway. When I knocked, Ran-chan was the one who answered the door and here we are.”

“Here we are,” Kaito echoes back. He looks around the diner, to his hot chocolate on the table, and at the tea each girl is drinking. Aoko follows his gaze as it brushes past the waitresses, past the other tables and patrons enjoying their meals. “…In a diner?”

Aoko wants to kick him again. This time however, she restrains herself.

“Well, we had a plan we wanted to get you to help us with.”

The flash of his smirk shouldn’t piss her off as much as it does. Maybe because it’s accompanied by Kaito’s drawl of, “Oh, this is gonna be good.”

“Ran-chan and I want to get our parents back together,” Aoko says.

The way Kaito’s lips part into an ‘o’ shape shows Aoko that it’s not what he’d expected to hear.

“You want your parents,” Kaito says, slowly, “who, as far as you guys know haven’t seen each other in what? Sixteen years? To get back together?”

Ran, at least, has the courtesy to look embarrassed. Aoko, refuses to give in to him. She nods her head.

“That’s the plan.”

“They’ve been apart for over a decade and a half!”

Ran reaches up, scratches at her cheek. She says, “neither of our parents ever moved on to other people.”

“Circumstance.”

“And I mean, mum’s cat is named after dad. She literally called him Goro!”

“You’re reaching.”

“My father has letters that he writes asking for my mother to come back,” Ran says quietly, “but they’re all unsent. I doubt his pride will ever let him send them.”

Kaito’s expression shifts now. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, micro-expressions disappearing, making him a less readable, harder to figure out. He sighs, “if they wanted to be together, wouldn’t they just get back together?”

“They’re our parents,” Aoko says.

“You don’t know if they even want to be together!” Kaito blinks, takes a moment to cool himself. Aoko hadn’t expected him to be so against it, to raise his voice.

“I want to know my father,” Aoko says finally, “and Ran wants to know our mother. If they get back together, we can be a family.”

And how long has Aoko dreamed of being a full family? How many father’s days had she missed out on? how many hugs could she have had…?

Kaito breathes, “you can know them without them being together.”

“We want them to be together,” Ran says, slowly, “and we want to try that, but honestly… if they meet again, and realise they’re in the same city, wouldn’t they arrange to introduce us to each other?”

Lifting his hand, Kaito strokes at his chin. He says, “what’s to say that they don’t know that the other is in the city. I doubt Kisaki-san doesn’t already know. She reads the news.”

Alright, so that fact kind of makes Aoko’s stomach turn a little bit. Knowing how recognisable Mouri Kogoro is in the newspapers at the moment, it’d be wrong to assume her mother didn’t know…

“Well,” Ran says, “my father has only been in the news for a few months now. It might be less a fact of our mother not knowing, and more, trying to figure out what to do now.”

“And your dad?”

“Well, when they first split up, Mum and I moved to Nagoya. We stayed there until I was around five.” Aoko tilts her head, considering. “It’s possible he thinks we’re still there.”

“You lived in Nagoya, Aoko-chan?” Ran claps her hands together. “It’s so beautiful. Dad, Conan-kun and I visited on a trip a while back.”

“Conan-kun?”

“Oh yes,” Ran says, “Conan-kun is like my… honorary little brother? He’s been staying with us for a while now, since his parents move around a lot, and it’d be cruel to not let him settle in one place.”

“Ah, I see.”

Actually, considering it, that name connecting to Mouri Kogoro does sound familiar. Are they referring to Edogawa Conan maybe? The famous KID-killer that Kaito finds himself playing games of wits with during his heists.

She glances at him from the corner of his eye, and is satisfied to see his eye twitch, ever so slightly, as he comes to the same conclusion.

“Oh, oh,” Aoko claps her hands together, “I’d love to meet him at some point. We could have him visit us at some point, Kaito is really good at babysitting too – aren’t you?”

She sends him a look.

It reads: Help us, or I stick the KID-killer on you and hope he figures out your identity.

“R-right,” Kaito says, leaning back to rub at the back of his neck. “Fine – whatever, I’ll help. But honestly, I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“I have a plan,” Aoko says, finally. She shares a smile with Ran and takes a sip of the tea she’s long since forgotten. It’s cold now, they’ll have to order fresh cups. “Let me explain–”

-----

*Some notes on the twins AU because I’ve thought a bit about it and wanted to share:

In this AU, obviously Aoko isn’t Nakamori’s daughter. Instead, she’s Eri and Kogoro’s daughter, and Ran’s identical twin. When Eri left Kogoro, the twins were maybe 5-6 months old and they came to the agreement that they would each take one of the girls. She’s named Kisaki Aoko.

Eri takes Aoko, and they move away to Nagoya until Aoko was 5, then they moved in next door to the Kuroba’s in Ekoda.

Aoko doesn’t hate KID so much because her father isn’t chasing him down and as such, she doesn’t feel like she’s missing being able to see him. Kaito told her about how he is KID, but doesn’t mention much about all the danger he’s in.

When Kaito was about 11, years after his father’s death, Chikage started seeing dating Inspector-Nakamori. They’re currently engaged. Now, Kaito is essentially being hunted down by his step-father.

Chikage didn’t know about KID, or about Toichi being murdered. In this, she retired shortly after Toichi saved her and before he debuted at KID. She had suspicions but she never knew for certain.

Aoko’s plan for Kogoro and Eri to get back together involves having Kaito use his impersonation skills to get them both to come to the same hotel under the premise of work.

Conan and Kaito learn the truth about each other pretty early on, and try to navigate the truth without letting the twins and their parents in on it. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so we said that JJ have gone to get the PE shit and are casually having a 🚬 and the teacher is like go see what the hold up is and Ella volunteers cos 1000% that bitch and she of course starts a vague rumour about them being saucy with it] Janis: are the boys saying shit Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: fuck's sake Janis: right, how do you wanna deal from your end Janis: 'cos you can say shit or you can slag me off like you'd never, either way, your move, new boy Jimmy: how do you want me to? Jimmy: I could give a shit what gets said about me Janis: alright, just say nothing then Janis: I'll deck her Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hardly Jimmy: nowt close to a challenge my end Jimmy: and it ain't like you'll have one flooring her Janis: still can't get her to take it back Janis: have to force feed her or some shit for that Jimmy: and what? you've got a missus waiting at home that'll be 💔 you were at it with someone else in the sport's cupboard? Janis: Fuck off Janis: if I've got to explain sexism to you then cba Janis: no one's chatting shit on your name like they are mine Jimmy: I bet lasses are, 'cause I shouldn't have touched you with a barge pole or some bollocks Jimmy: hang on, I'll check Jimmy: [DMs] Janis: and what? Janis: I didn't start it, take it up with Blondie Jimmy: I don't care what any dickhead in this shithole reckons, it's your problem if you do Jimmy: that's what Janis: Don't need your groundbreaking hot take to know that, tah Jimmy: stop whinging at me then, tah Janis: I ain't, do one Janis: I was checking you weren't making it worse for me, that's it Jimmy: job done Jimmy: and there'll be a new #scandal tomorrow so no need to check in with me again Janis: you reckon, new boy? Janis: you'll be lucky if another kid joins before you leave yourself Jimmy: I'll be leaving myself soon as Jimmy: you'll be lucky if it ain't you and 👑💀 stuck doing the project Janis: mistaking me for the bitch that cares about her A Jimmy: nah, I weren't Jimmy: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: i'd get her to spread that it is Janis: don't wanna shout about how that look is a choice Jimmy: you ain't that bad that I feel the need, looks wise at least Janis: great Jimmy: any road, my brother's deaf, if I start spreading that shit about they'll be asking my sister if she's got a fake leg or some bollocks Jimmy: be a bit rude to her Janis: I'm not gonna chat shit on your unfortunate genetics, don't worry Janis: can't rival mine anyway Jimmy: @iantaylor8 if you wanna have a go Janis: unless he has his own law firm, I'm not bothered Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: obviously, we had a great time amongst the unwashed bibs and muddy footballs Jimmy: surprised she could get the door open Jimmy: 💀💪 Janis: got that burst of adrenaline knowing she'd get extra treats from her master for it Janis: could've been in there alone, obviously helps other people give more of a fuck that it was you Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: so yeah, it is your fault, cheers Jimmy: didn't send myself or force you to have that 🚬 off me, mate Janis: not my go-to defense story Janis: crying rape might seem kinda cute but I'm alright Jimmy: funny Jimmy: you ain't that cute I NEED to fuck you mid P.E Janis: oh no Janis: let me go cry into the nearest 🏀 Jimmy: the mats would be a better shout, they've managed all that 💦 Janis: oh yeah, bring up the mats Janis: not heard enough about what a romantic setting they are Jimmy: soz, next time I'll assault you in the 🚽 Janis: even better Janis: I'll just stay in there and set up shop Jimmy: 💕 Janis: should've picked an option with a racket Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: work too, fair heft behind that Jimmy: bit of class an' all Jimmy: rich girl won't have nowt to whinge about Janis: 'cos I've proved well classy Jimmy: will do with a full orchestra behind your rampage Janis: I'll find a music nerd in these DMs Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: beats Mia suing me 'cos I killed her girlfriend Jimmy: another'd spawn from Mia's rib or some bollocks Jimmy: she'd be alright Jimmy: if she don't regurgitate one like a 🐍 jaw unhinged Janis: 🐑 don't baa on the way out, new boy Janis: ask my sister Jimmy: You're alright, I'd rather not talk to her Janis: wow Janis: same Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMG Jimmy: no wonder every dickhead thinks we're love's young dream Janis: yeah, she's SUCH a delight, everyone else 💘s her Jimmy: obvs Janis: you're new, so I'll let you off for not being up enough on the gossip this once Jimmy: tah Jimmy: so generous, you Janis: apparently so Jimmy: go on, what do you want me to do Janis: ? Jimmy: you're that 💔 Janis: you can't do fuck all Janis: even if I were Jimmy: Why can't I? Janis: what's to do Janis: they chat shit 'cos they got none of their own Janis: none as interesting as what they wanna gob off about anyway Jimmy: I dunno, that's why I asked Jimmy: but alright Janis: just forget about it 'til they do, like you said Jimmy: nowt to bother remembering Janis: not a diss, just factual so Janis: yeah Jimmy: bet Ella counts her 🚬 Janis: easier habit to hide when you have to brush your teeth at least ten times a day Jimmy: got something else to blame when they go yellow and fall out an' all Janis: set of falsies is the way to go Janis: off and on again whenever you need to purge Janis: I'll float it Jimmy: shame she don't do lads Jimmy: that's a kink right there Janis: she definitely does Janis: that's why this is bullshit Janis: does whatever 💀👑 needs her to Jimmy: I'll live without hearing about them threesomes Janis: grim Jimmy: they still ain't welcome up north Janis: 💔 how will they cope Jimmy: idk idc obvs babes Janis: 🤮🤮🤮 Jimmy: go ahead and spread that about as your official ™ reaction to my 😘 Janis: no one cares if you were good, new boy Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that'll be why my inbox is full Janis: your inbox is full because a. people think you're good as is b. they wanna know if I am Jimmy: if they reckon I'm good they care enough to have thought about it Janis: alright, they're well concerned Janis: if you need 'em to be Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you ain't concerned about what I do or don't need Janis: nah, I'm not Janis: just a weird hill to live and die on Jimmy: would be if it were the one I were on Janis: 👍 Janis: just saying, no one is concerning themselves if I had a good time or not Jimmy: I heard you Janis: alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: later Janis: [actually later, like a lesson or so whatever] Janis: do you know George Daley? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos I wanna know if he's telling the truth or not Jimmy: about what? Janis: apparently you told him loads of extra details he was loudly telling his mates Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: new boy, remember Janis: he's not also saying you're best friends Jimmy: I'm saying I've said nowt Jimmy: piss off Janis: okay Janis: you're marginally more plausible than him so take your word Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 soon as you've engraved it Janis: don't get ahead of yourself Janis: either your imagination is lacking or it's his Janis: and I know you're WELL artistic so Jimmy: alright, stop flirting with me Janis: how many more girls need to tell you that's disgusting Jimmy: how many lasses are in this school? Janis: ha Janis: know they don't do royalty in the north, even they ain't that thick Janis: come up with a new bit probably Jimmy: 👌 Janis: send you his socials if you wanna smack him down Jimmy: go on then Janis: [does] Janis: he's the least attractive one in the groupshot, go figure Jimmy: the 🦐 looking twat? Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: good shout Janis: fits with your fish kink Jimmy: What lesson you in? Janis: Physics Jimmy: that's [a classroom/ lab number situ, don't get lost boy] ? Janis: next one along Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [shows up and decks this boy so that all kicks off] Janis: [dramaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [enjoy the show bitches] Janis: [what are you gonna make of that, ladies, when it looks like you're defending her honour instead of your own] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are though, we see you boy] Janis: [we all do, not her though so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally been here no time Jimothy, casual crush at first sight okay then] Janis: [we know you're both hot no hiding from that] Janis: how much trouble you get in? Jimmy: You've been here longer than me, have a guess Janis: 🤔🤔 Janis: depends how much of a good mood the head was in 🥴 Jimmy: ☕ were half full Jimmy: might be 🥃🥃 or 🥃🥃🥃 depending on his measures Janis: either way, bet you have to write him an apology Janis: always make you do that Jimmy: [shows her his 🦐 doodles all over said apology] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 😏 sincere Jimmy: Am I supposed to invite him out for a 🦐🍛 or what? Janis: no Janis: he'll 😢 and with his eye how it is now, might explode from the pressure Jimmy: can either handle a #ladsnightout or you can't Janis: poor shrimpy Janis: he looks better for the swelling, honestly Jimmy: might write me a thank you note Jimmy: been after a pen pal Jimmy: 💕 Janis: figures Jimmy: ? Janis: artistic Janis: prefer 🖋 over 🗣 Jimmy: nah, just northern Jimmy: can barely write and I need the practice Janis: tell the head that, she can tell her bosses, and they'll get you out of detention Jimmy: 👍 Janis: success story ⭐ Jimmy: my dad will be dead proud Janis: buzzing Jimmy: what am I missing then? Janis: a sense of purpose? Janis: your keys? Janis: what? Jimmy: what 🗨 dickhead Janis: oh, what shrimpdick said? Janis: just more bollocks than I'd heard already Janis: if it were bad before, it's 💘 now Jimmy: you could've said 💀👑 were in there Janis: how was I supposed to know you'd show up Jimmy: what did you think I were gonna do? Janis: well, see him after school sounds a bit gay but Janis: not barge in to a lesson, obviously Jimmy: yeah I asked you for directions I weren't gonna use Janis: I thought you were bullshitting Jimmy: you're alright, there's nobody about to see me 😭 Janis: probably work in our favour once everyone else calms down Janis: reckons we're both gay so Janis: let her do the work with the 🗨 Jimmy: what were it you said? buzzing Jimmy: that'll be me Janis: 👍 Janis: you didn't get in proper shit, did you Jimmy: What's proper shit? Janis: like excluded level Janis: anything below that, not saying sorry for your 😭 Jimmy: weren't after a sorry off you any road Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and I never hit him that hard Janis: I know Janis: but he's being a right tart about it Janis: make more sense if he was good looking to start with Jimmy: 🦐💔 Jimmy: you a vegetarian or what? Janis: hilarious 🙄 Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: it were you who said it Janis: 'cos my taste borders outside aquatic, I'm gay now, alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: literally Janis: you asked Jimmy: nah Janis: you just curious about my dietary needs Jimmy: if that's a crime, give Mia's dad a bell Janis: 🤞💘 Janis: they're well pissed off rn, nothing else Jimmy: sod catholic school, don't even need it Jimmy: about to get into heaven off the back of that Janis: told 'em it weren't me that was getting #saved Jimmy: you wanna piss 'em off a bit more? Janis: obviously? Jimmy: Alright, what would? Jimmy: I'm here, you're there and we're 💕 Janis: you said no one's about? Jimmy: I did do Janis: a teachers showed? Jimmy: nah but that means they could in a bit Janis: fuck it Janis: hang on then Jimmy: 🤞💘 Janis: [ask for a pissbreak, go to whatever room this is and take a #goals selfie for the first time] Jimmy: [love that because it makes the fake dating less out of the blue as a request so well done lads] Janis: [you're welcome] Janis: get more ❤s than her she'll 💥 Jimmy: I'd say challenge accepted but it ain't one Janis: 🥺 when your boyfriend isn't as fit as you thought Jimmy: if you're doing that face since you've been back, you'll really sell the starcrossed lovers angle Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😒 translate just as well Jimmy: I get it, there's no oscar in your future Janis: fuck off Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: couldn't hack the proposition of being in my ad, you Janis: that's different Janis: besides, tell me it won't be funnier to make her do it Jimmy: might be for the first 10 takes Janis: she gets to roleplay with daddy to rehearse she'll be 🏆 Jimmy: SUCH a romantic, you Janis: just want her to be happy, like Jimmy: fuck her, I'm giving you the 🏆 Janis: #blessed Jimmy: that's me, obvs Janis: no, you're #saved Janis: don't hog them all Jimmy: one #'s worth fuck all Jimmy: every dickhead knows you need to flood it Jimmy: bit biblical an' all, that Janis: you get sent her to get turned? Janis: hardcore conversion therapy Janis: here* Jimmy: not gay, just fit and mysterious Janis: 👌 Jimmy: gone right off 🐙🦑🦐🦞🦀🐡🐠🐟 but I don't reckon we can call that hardcore Jimmy: or much of a turn Janis: aren't supposed to eat shellfish actually, so God should be made up Jimmy: success story ⭐ Jimmy: like you said Janis: can go back to where you came from now Janis: in the nicest, non-racist way possible Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙏* Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not 👠👠 but you get what you pay for Jimmy: ain't my fault the tip jar's got nowt in Jimmy: @💀👑 Janis: I remember Jimmy: she ain't changed her ways or owt recently, funny that Janis: she needs the #bornagain Janis: thank fuck she ain't got a dog Jimmy: Oi, what's El if not a service 🐕? Janis: she walks herself enough though Jimmy: she does do laps round the table before she gets her ☕ Janis: not surprised Janis: beyond surprised she can still manage it without the heart attack, obvs Jimmy: 🙏* Janis: deal with the 😈 Janis: gotcha Jimmy: if you can say fuck it today, why not, like? Janis: decent tagline Janis: I'll put it on the site Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: I were gonna say if you need 📸 for it, give me a shout an' all Janis: like IOU one 💘 selfie? Jimmy: sir ain't getting my nudes that easy Janis: gutted Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: call it another deal with the 😈 if you want, mate, but I were being serious Jimmy: bagsied the 🎨 ages ago Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: was thinking, how do we piss her off more with this project Janis: without it being dead obvious that that's what we're doing Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: do you mean us or the #content? Janis: both Jimmy: what thoughts did you have? Janis: well, obviously we can't put in anything that she can run to sir with Janis: but, like the ad, you can edit it to be like one of those no win no fee things like you said Janis: shit like that Jimmy: Do you know what her dad actually looks like? Janis: hold on Janis: [finds his linkedin or whatever 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you reckon we could use his shit Janis: he has a website as well, can take bits of that as #inspiration Jimmy: few edits so it ain't LITERALLY his, bit of a parody, OMG she'll be fuming Janis: right, that's the VIBE Janis: could use his face but distort it, shadow it, put a bag over Janis: you know she'd know still Jimmy: I've been pissing about with hers an' all Jimmy: [shows her what he's been up to because he didn't have her father's deets] Janis: that's good Janis: on the same page on this one Janis: make 'em victims of medical negligence or something Janis: botched hair transplant Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: dickheads sometimes put a 👍 review of their website, happy clients that sort of bollocks Janis: right Janis: and if we make her the lawyer she wants to be Janis: can't really complain Jimmy: she can't but not to sir Jimmy: can* Janis: that's all I care about Janis: she ain't gonna stop COMING for me 😭 Jimmy: or her man for me 😱😱 Janis: soz I don't know what classes he takes so you can smack him and all Jimmy: he'll find me, unless they're both all mouth Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: *🤞 Janis: least the muscles are purely for show Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: mhmm Jimmy: so complimentary, you Jimmy: I get why your inbox is full Janis: don't need to be Janis: I'm the 🏆 Jimmy: I'm taking back the one I gave you a bit ago for generosity or whatever bollocks it were Janis: I'll survive, mate Jimmy: 👌 dry your eyes and crack on Janis: enjoy your DMs Jimmy: Oi I'm illiterate remember, and there's no need to rub it in, Janet Janis: there'll be lots of pictures for you, no doubt Janis: get the gist real easy Jimmy: 🤤🤤😍😍 Jimmy: might be right about me being saved Janis: 😷 GROSS Jimmy: we'll both live Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy that Jimmy: give it a few years to get on the English curriculum Janis: not that you'll ever know Jimmy: might still be trying to pass it Janis: awh Jimmy: *🤷 Janis: i'm well concerned about your education Jimmy: HANG ON, is this NERD FLIRTING?!! 💕🤓 Jimmy: I'd heard loads about it Janis: have to see what 💀👑 reckons Jimmy: I'll @ her Janis: she'll love that Jimmy: [does obviously and sends her whatever response] Janis: good to know she's SO on board with this 💘 Janis: have to keep it up if she's gonna be so 😭 😤 Jimmy: if she can't have us, next best, obvs Janis: now she knows how poor Ella feels Jimmy: what the fuck is going on there? Janis: if she ain't in love with her idk Janis: she don't need her to buy her shit Jimmy: I'll have to @ her an' all Janis: fill your boots sherlock Janis: 🤞 it's a death cult naturally, so they take my sister with 'em Jimmy: sounds like a bit of me, that Jimmy: gutted I pissed off their leader Janis: well, you want a new 👜 she'll take you in and make you pay with  🩸🥵😭 Jimmy: if it can start a gay teletubby scandal, might do something for me Janis: better rep than 💫💘 Janis: probably Jimmy: what ain't? Janis: cheer Janis: s Janis: not the only one with an inbox full of hilarious 'better' offers Jimmy: you wanna go from 😍😍 to 💀💀💀 in 3 days that's your shout Jimmy: be a record around here at any rate Janis: I'll just do one when you get mixed messages and top yourself Jimmy: take it up with the 'better' offers, more of 'em you can take out, the 'better' this shithole would be Janis: no shit, like Janis: not that much of a slag, sadly Jimmy: you called me Sherlock, pointing out the bloody obvious is my job done Janis: go shoot up and go to your mind palace, like Jimmy: not that much of a druggie, sadly Janis: letdown Janis: said you were 😎 Jimmy: 😎 by 💀👑 standards is bound to be a letdown by yours, Jules Janis: understatement Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: coming from you, that's almost a compliment Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you can stop fishing now Janis: piss off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 🖕🖕🖕 NEW BOY Jimmy: 💕 Janis: anything that reminds you of our glorious leader 😍 Jimmy: this teacher's ☕ breath is really doing it for me Janis: cruel and unusual punishment that Janis: tell socials you're being tortured Jimmy: start me a # Janis: #justiceforjimmy is catchy but you don't have a name so won't help Jimmy: @ Mia's dad for legal words beginning with n Jimmy: 🤞 he's got that far in the alphabet or you're on your own, girl Janis: I'll have to go for the cryptic #whereisnewboy Janis: not having 👀 on you must be well distressing for them anyway Jimmy: steady on though, sounds a bit like I've already ghosted you Jimmy: not very #goals that Janis: oh yeah Janis: 🐇🐇🐇 Jimmy: 🐇 on the boil or nowt Jimmy: 💀👑 rule 1 Janis: I'll think on it then 👻 boy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #getghostboyout Janis: how long did you actually get in there? Jimmy: #bustoutghostboy Janis: lowkey suggestive Jimmy: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 Jimmy: right, they'll LOVE that Janis: [pisstakey socials] Jimmy: [replies that are lowkey suggestive because we know we've started something] Janis: [when you don't even know what you're doing but you're doing IT] Jimmy: [god bless you both]

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Wedding preparations; queen x reader

*Author’s note*

Okay guys here we go, these next few chapters are very near and dear to me because just last saturday (yep on May 4th) my sister had gotten married and I was so honored to be apart of it as one of her bridesmaids along with all her friends.  She really married a great guy and I’m happy for them. Now that all the stress of the wedding is over, I feel like now is the time for these next chapters to be published. I wish my sister and my new brother in law the best of luck as they now move to Nashville and they both get better jobs so that they can spend more time with their baby girl.

Anyways enough rambling I’ll leave you all too it and thank you all for being so patient with me, this semester has really been kicking my ass as of late, I still got one essay and 2 finals to do but that’ll all be over soon and then it’s 3 straight months of writing YAY!!!!! Hopefully I do better now that I’ve managed to do some writing throughout the semester and that I don’t get caught in a rut like I did all throughout last year. Anyways enjoy everyone :)

Taglist:

@onebigfangirlworld

@mr-badguymercury

@queens-rose-garden

@naturalswifty89

@starswin

@labessieisallama

@dj-lowkey

@isabella-bby

@geek-and-proud

@5sos-wdw

__________________________________________________________

The next day I was on the phone with Jack who had apparently tried to call me repeatedly after getting a message from Deacy about all that had happened the past couple of days.

“Yeah love I got your message.”

‘Oh that’s good.’

“Yeah I even heard about the one where you said you’d bring Jensen and Jared to come over and beat the shit out of Freddie.”

‘I knew I should’ve pushed harder to come with you.’

“No, no love there was no need for you to come. There wasn’t any point of you coming here along with me to have only 5 days up here and then end up going back to America.”

‘I know. But you know I love you right (y/n)?’

“Yeah, yeah I know you do.”

‘I really do baby.’ I smiled and then I said.

“Well I—I’ll call you tomorrow.”

‘Okay babe, love you.’

“Love you too.” With that I hung up the phone and smiled softly.  I heard footsteps coming from the kitchen to the living room where I was sitting on the couch, I looked up to see John coming with another piece of cake.

Veronica had offered to make some cake samples for the wedding.  Even though I told her it wasn’t necessary, she refused to take no for an answer and wanted to at least see if I would go for a wedding cake that she could potentially make instead of having me waste money on a cake.

“Another cake sample; chocolate Zuccotto.” He said as he sat down in front of me on the foot stool.

“Do I really have to try another one?”

“You don’t want it?”

“I mean I’ve already had nine samples already and loved every one of them, I feel like if I eat another bite I won’t find a wedding dress in my size anymore.”

“Well I’ll just tell Veronica she’s too good of a baker for your wedding then.” He said as he set the cake aside.  I playfully shoved him with my foot which made him chuckle.  “So you talked to Jack?”

“Yeah. Yeah he just got the yes from some more family members, a few friends and his cousins have agreed to be his groomsmen. Have you told him that you and the guys agreed to be in the wedding?”

“Yeah Brian got a hold of him last night after you went to bed. And I told him I’d agreed to be the best man. Have you talked to Veronica about the Matron of Honor position yet?”

“I was planning on telling her later today when me, her, Nique and Chrissie go out dress shopping.” He nodded.  “Have you gotten a stylist yet?”

“Jared’s wife Gen is actual a professional hairstylist and runs her own beauty salon so she’s gonna help with my hair and makeup.”

“And how about a song for you and Jack?”

“Not yet. Honestly I don’t know if there’s even a good enough song that could really help express my love for Jack.”

“You’ll find one love, don’t worry about it.” He said as he rubbed my shoulder.  I nodded and that’s when I noticed the time and I said.

“Oh shit I better head over to the bridal store; I promised the girl’s that we’d meet right at the doors when it opens at 10.”

“Well I won’t keep you and I’ll just see myself out.”

“Thanks for bringing the samples over Deacy. Veronica’s lucky to have someone like you.”

“Nah she was stuck with me.”

“Hey, she loves you immensely.” I shoved him again as I grabbed my purse and we both went out the front door.  I locked my house up and Deacy and I cheek kissed each other goodbye and he went home while I went downtown towards the bridal store to meet up with the wives of Queen.

I managed to reach the store with about 10 minutes to spare.  Already I saw a crowd of women trying to be the first ones inside.  Reason for that being was because today “Monique’s Bridal shop boutique” was having a 25% off sale on all her designer dresses.  I parked my bike and tried to look over the crowd of women who were pushing and shoving people out of the way.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)!” I could hear Dominque cry out.  I soon saw her wiggle out and managing to peek out from the crowd and she held out her hand. “Quickly take my hand before I lose my spot!” I took it and she pulled me in.

Much like Roger, if anyone tried to push us out of the way, she would snap at them like a defensive lioness and tell them to literally ‘back the fuck away you harpies’ or my favorite, ‘you push this girl back, then your dress won’t be the only thing people will look at’.

We finally reached the front doors where Chrissie and Veronica helped us in and I said to them.

“God is it always like this?”

“When you have a sale like this, I’m afraid so. It was the same way back when I married Brian 10 years ago.” Said Chrissie.

“Okay ladies now remember, keep these whistles on you at all times, and if you see a potential dress, blow and hold that dress closer than you could ever imagine.” Veronica said as she handed out whistles for the three of us.

“Don’t you think it’s kinda extreme V?” I asked.

“Aww first time brides are so cute.” She said. She stroked my cheek and said as she cupped it, “Listen sweetie, deals on wedding dresses like this don’t come around very often. It’s a miracle we managed to pick a shopping date that this sale actually began on. Women will do anything to obtain the dress they need, even if it means using extreme violence.”

“For real?” I asked.  All three of them nodded and that’s when one of the employees came up to the door.

“Alright ladies, this is it; as soon as that door unlocks, you run like hell.” Dominque said.  The woman took out the keys and lifted them to the lock and I could hear the click, then like a broken dam with water spurting out everywhere, every single woman raced inside and went for the first dresses they could find.

I ran further into the shop towards a bunch of dresses that were on hangers and looked through them.  They were either too puffy of the sleeves, or too long of a train.  I browsed and browsed until finally I seemed to have found the right one.

“Oh my god, this is it. I’ve found the one.” I went to grab it when I felt someone else grab the dress at the same time.  We were both tugging on it till finally I was pulled to the other side of the rack where a woman in her late 30’s early 40’s stood with short red hair and green eyes.  She was tanned but I could see some early stages of wrinkles showing up.

“Well seems I’ve caught a little parasite with this dress.”

“Excuse me?” I snapped.

“Darling no offense but if you think you can pull off this dress, you might want to check the doll section over there. They might have one that’s for such a tiny thing like you.” Wow the girls weren’t kidding. This woman was really starting to piss me off.

“No offense giantess but if you tried on this dress you might not be able to hide those giraffe legs of yours.” She glared down at me and pulled on the dress and sneered.

“Let go of it you little brat.”

“No you let go bitch!” We tugged it back and forth till finally I grabbed my secret weapon and blew on the whistle and it pierced the air.  I kept blowing it and blowing it till finally I heard Chrissie’s voice exclaimed.

“Oi! I think she saw the dress first.” The woman turned towards the three women who were now standing behind me and that’s when Dominque said.

“So I suggest you release that dress less you want to wake up with barely any teeth left in your mouth for that perfect wedding picture.” The woman glared down at me and I only smirked up at her as she had no choice but to release the dress and walk away.

“Wow Dominque, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you act this defensive.” I told her.

“Well when you’re in a relationship with Roger Taylor, you pick up on a few things. So you found one?”

“Yes, I think this is the one.” I said as I held it up.

“Now hold on love, first rule of wedding dress shopping; never go for the first one unless is absolutely the one for you. Now Chrissie and I managed to find about three others that would be perfect for you. So let’s try them on in the backroom.” Said Veronica as she placed an arm around my shoulder and guided me to the backroom.

Chrissie and Dominque stood guard of the remaining dresses while Veronica was in the changing room with me trying on the dress that I had picked out.

“So how did you like those cake samples I had made?”

“Oh V they were delicious. All of them, I don’t think I can pick just one.”

“Well don’t worry love, you’ll choose one. At least you and Jack both agreed on chocolate cake, now we just need to find the perfect brand of chocolate.”

“Maybe you could fly out to America and let Jack have a taste of some of your samples.”

“One step ahead of you darling.” As she tied up the corset part of the dress, I felt like I was being constricted like a snake as I gasped out.

“Can’t breathe!”

“See this is why we try things out. They may look good but sometimes it doesn’t mean they feel good.”

“I just didn’t expect it to have a corset setting though. And this was such a beautiful dress too. Now I feel like a complete idiot for almost rumbling with that woman when this dress wasn’t even going to fit me. What if we never find the right one?”

“Hey now don’t you say that. We’ll find you a dress, I promise we will find you one. Let’s try on the one Dominque found for you.”

Dress after dress after dress and they were either too tight, too long, or it just didn’t feel right on me.  We spent god knows how long in the shop for trying on practically every dress we could find.  It was then we decided to tag-team search; Dom and Chrissie went together while Veronica and I teamed up and we began the search again.

As Veronica and I went through almost every rack in the store, she gasped and said.

“(Y/n) come here quick!” I raced over to her and she held out the most beautiful wedding dress I had ever seen.

“Oh my…..”

“Let’s go try it on, quick!” She took my hand and blew her whistle for Dominque and Chrissie to hear as she raced me back towards the changing rooms.

After getting the dress on, Veronica first stepped out and I slowly followed behind her with the dress and matching veil on and the three of them were in awe.

“Oh my…..(y/n).” Dominque cooed.

“This is it. I feel so beautiful in this dress.” I whimpered out.

“You look beautiful in it sweetie. Let’s get it and then we’ll make an appointment with a tailor to make any adjustments.” She helped me out of the dress and we got Chrissie and Dominque to meet us outside while Veronica and I bought the dress.  As the cashier rang up the price I thought it was a good time to ask her now.

“Hey V.”

“Yes love?”

“I want to ask you an important question.”

“Sure what’s up?”

“Well you’ve already done so much for me for this wedding already and since I don’t really have friends my own age anymore since I became the Rock Angel. I was wondering if you’d—would you like to be my Matron of honor?” She looked at me with a shocked expression before it broke off into a wide smile and she embraced me and said.

“I’d be happy to darling! Thank you so much for asking me.” I smiled and hugged her back.  The cashier congratulated us and Veronica paid for the dress.

I tried to convince her not to but she wanted to because as the Matron of Honor she wanted to make sure that everything was perfect and that she could handle the big payments while I handle the little stuff.  Of course I’ll let her have it for now but later on down the road we’re gonna come to a compromise.

After buying the dress and asking Dominique and Chrissie if they’d be willing to be my bridesmaids, they both agreed and were ecstatic to be a part of my big day.

Once getting the dress, we decided that after a stressful day of trying to get the dress, we all went to the pub in celebration for finding the perfect dress and for finally finishing picking my bridesmaids as well as officially having a Matron of honor.

By nightfall, I arrived back at the house with the dress and put it in the closet until it came time for me to head to America to help out with the remaining preparations for the wedding.

That night I tried to fall asleep but all I kept doing was tossing and turning.  Something was stirring in my head as I began to dream a million dreams after the day of my wedding.  

Jack and I buying a house, living away from society, having a large family, owning a huge property of land, or even a small cottage whatever it was we agreed to have in the end.

Finally looking at the clock to see that it was only 12:35am I decided to head down to my studio as the perfect wedding song finally came to mind.

*3rd Person POV*

Brian, Roger and John arrived at their Rock Angel’s house just to check and see how things were going since they didn’t get an update from either her or their wives.  They let themselves in as Roger called out.

“(Y/n)?! Oi (y/n) you here love?”

“She might still be asleep.” Suggested Deacy.

“Maybe, or she could be downstairs in the studio, let’s check down there first.” Brian stated.  The three of them walked down the basement stairway that led to the recording studio that was down there and low and behold they saw their girl lying at the control booth with papers scattered around and about a dozen cups of coffee mugs surrounding the studio.

“Some things never change.” Said Deacy.

“That girl I’ll tell you what.” Stated Roger. They walked over to her and Brian knelt down and stroked the hair out of her face as he whispered.

“(Y/n), c’mon love time to wake up. Open those beautiful (e/c) eyes of yours.” She quietly stirred and moaned but like the flutter of butterfly wings, her eyes opened.  “There she is.”

“Asleep at the control again I see love.” Said Deacy.

“What time is it?” she groaned as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

“Almost 11 in the morning, did you even try to get any sleep last night love?” Roger said as he came up behind her and gently gave her shoulders a gentle massage.

“I couldn’t sleep at all, so many things were running through my head and then a song came up that I just had to work on. But I guess I must’ve fallen asleep working on it.”

“Poppet if this is for your new album put it aside, it can wait. Can’t have the future bride looking like a corpse as she walks down the aisle.” Said Deacy.

“There’s no album. This song is for the wedding. I—I came up with a song for Jack and I’s first dance as husband and wife. We’ve been having trouble picking a song, but then last night it hit me. So I tried getting to work on it as fast as I could and hopefully ran at least one full take of it before I fly back to America and get too busy with the rest of the wedding planning.” Brian took one of the pieces of paper and read over the words and said.

“Mind if we hear a bit of it?” she nodded and then stood up which caused Roger to stop massaging her shoulders but she quickly thanked him for it as she grabbed an acoustic guitar before sitting by the grand piano bench.  

“I mean it’s not much and I’m still working on some of the words but here’s what I’ve got. First; I imagine the opening to be like a string opening of a cello or maybe several violins before coming in like this,” she then began picking at the acoustic guitar strings.

She then began singing the acoustic notes as she then switched and played the first few notes on the piano before returning back to the guitar and began to sing what she had.

I close my eyes and I can see

A world that's waiting up for me

That I call my own

She then scattered out notes since she didn’t quite have the words right for the continuation of the song until she came in at the bridge.

They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy

They can say, they can say I've lost my mind

*Scatters*

We can live in a world that we design

She then started up the full chorus and sung it loud and proud.  As she sang it with such finesse and rawness, the boys began to see that she had a special vision for this song.

'Cause every night, I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all its gonna take

Oh, a million dreams

For the world we're gonna make

She then played the piano for a bit before stopping.

“That’s all I’ve came up with. The rest as you can see are just various rubbish lines that I may or may not use.”

“Well I don’t think these upcoming lines are rubbish.” Deacy said as he took one sheet and read out loud, “‘Special things we compile each one there to make us smile, on a gloomy day’”.

“Thanks Deacy.”

“This song is promising, and I know Jack will like it. You definitely have a vision and if you’re willing, we can help you with the lyrics you’re having trouble with.” Said Brian.  Her eyes widened and she said.

“You’d—you’d really do that for me?”

“This isn’t out first rodeo love, just leave everything to us.” Roger said as he rubbed (y/n)’s shoulders once more.

“Wait, wait what do I do?”

“You have the best job of all, and that’s getting some sleep.”

“What no? No I can’t I—I have to make sure this song is perfect and no offense guys not that I don’t trust you but don’t you think that I should guide you through on what I want for this song?”

“Yes, but at this point you’re running on hardly any sleep and over 12 cups of coffee that have long passed your system. At this rate you look more like a corpse bride and we refuse to allow you to push yourself than what you’re already under.”

“But I—”

“No buts. The only but I want to see is yours walking upstairs to your room and said but getting into bed and getting some sleep.” Roger stated.  She looked at the blonde drummer who looked down at her daring her to speak up against him.  Before she could say anything, Brian spoke up.

“He is right about one thing (y/n),” she turned towards the curly haired guitarist and he continued, “We’ve known you long enough to know that you’ll continue to work until you drop. This song shouldn’t be the sole focus at this point. With all the upcoming stress you will be facing for this wedding, you need as much sleep as you can get. We’ll try and work out the song and we swear to you; we’ll only change a lyric or two. We won’t change the vision that you have for this song.” She groaned and that’s when Roger acted.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and guided her out of the studio.  Once they were at the top of the steps, Roger then picked his daughter bridal style and carried her the rest of the way up to her master bedroom.

He set her down on the bed hearing her soft mumbles, probably future lyrics to the song or saying that she needed to finish the song. Had to finish it.

“We’ll finish it love, together. For now bride to be, go to sleep.” He kissed her forehead and stroked through her hair and proceeded to sing ‘Hey Jude’ as a lullaby to her, and within no time at all, the Rock Angel was fast asleep.  Roger softly chuckled and whispered to her, “Sweet dreams, my lion cub.” He lightly kissed her cheek and tucked her in before leaving her room and heading back downstairs to the basement studio.

*My POV*

By the time I woke up, the sun was still out and when I turned to look at my clock I saw that it was 4:15pm.  I also took notice that beside me was a plate of pizza. I smiled softly knowing that the guys must’ve ordered in so I took the pizza and as I took a bite, it was still pretty warm so it must’ve been very recent that they ordered it in.

I ate up the pizza and felt like I had died and gone to heaven then once that slice was gone, I hoped they at least saved me another slice because now I’m beginning to feel the nipping of hungry chew at my stomach, you know that feeling when your stomach feels like it’s chewing on itself when you’re so hungry.

I walked back towards the studio and I could hear the distinct chatter of the boys.

“But see if we come in at 16 then that changes the entire tempo of the song.” I heard Brian say.

“But for a brief moment, then we can go back into the original tempo of it.” Roger’s voice said.

“I don’t think she’d like that, we’ll just ask her if it’s what she wants. I’d hate to be blamed for ruining her vision.”

“Well thankfully you don’t have to wait anymore.” I spoke up.  The three of them turned around and Deacy said.

“Well someone looks well rested.”

“I feel well rested. Thanks for always looking after me guys.”

“No thanks are needed lovely.” Said Roger.

“So,” I hopped off the last couple of steps and walked towards them and said, “What have you boys done to my song?” I was then given my sheets of paper by Brian and the four of us went over the song.

“And you said that by the end of the chorus you wanted the piano?” asked Roger.

“Yes, I’ll take over from there at that point. I think the acoustic won’t come back till literally the end.”

“Okay done.”

“Hey, can I run something by you guys?” I asked.  Their attention turned towards me and I continued, “So for the second chorus, I can’t decide whether to go up or down. I mean not to sound conceded, but both sound sexy and chilling. It’s been bugging me for days now.”

“Hmm, I think I might have an idea.” Said Brian.

“Lay it on my Bri. At this point I’m desperate. I’ll do anything except have a recording play over during the reception.”

“How about we make this a duet? Roger can assist you during the second chorus.”

“A duet?”

“He’s right. You both blend well with your voices together, if you guys can do what you both did for ‘Shallow’ I think it’ll do good.” Deacy confirmed.

“Rog?” I turned towards him.

“I don’t mind.”

“Okay let’s take it from this part. Now which word are you thinking about doing the blending of both high and low note?” asked Brian.

“At the word ‘take’ towards the bottom just before the chorus ends.” I answered.

“Okay so you’ll go down (y/n) while Roger goes high.” We both nodded as Brian sat by the piano and began playing the tune and I sang the last two lines of the second verse before both Roger and I came in at the second chorus.

Our voices blending perfectly together with my low alto range and his raw high range that he’s known for in Queen.  And when it came time for the divide, Deacy reminded us of who was going up and who was going down.  When the moment came, Deacy pointed down to the ground in my direction while he pointed up towards Roger’s direction.

As I heard the note that I had imagined, I literally had goosebumps going up my arm and shivers went up my spine.  As I sang the last part of the chorus for my solo, I literally squealed.

“THAT’S IT!!!” And then like clock-work and after resting, the bridge suddenly came to me as I began playing the piano and singing the bridge that was coming to me like the flick of a switch.

The boys kept track of what I sang so that I wouldn’t lose it and as the workshop continued the song was slowly coming together until it was finally ready.  I was now in the booth running the full track of the song and once it was done, the boys smiled at me from the opposite end of the booth and Brian said.

“Beautiful darling.” I smiled and was overjoyed.

Dress; check

Song for the bride-groom dance; check

Location for wedding/reception; check

RSVP checklist; check

Bridesmaids/groomsmen/matron and best man; check

Song for the Father-daughter dance; check, check and check

The check list for the wedding was coming along greatly.  Within the next few days I then flew back to America to help with Jack and the two of us continued to prepare for the wedding.

Months passed and it was just a week before the wedding.  The boys and their families flew out to America to get settled into the hotels they were staying at as well as the show up for any duties that they were required to do in order to help decorate the venue.

We had actually gotten a lot done in such a short amount of time.  Currently I was up in Jack’s bedroom at his place.  Veronica and Laura were with me, Laura was watching as her mum was currently working on my eyebrows, doing a home-style doctoring of them.  I was holding the mirror while she used the tweezers to pluck out my furry eyebrows and make them look nice and thin before the wedding.

“C’mon now love stay still.” I groaned and whimpered in pain as she plucked hair after hair of my left eyebrow.  She apologized every now as well as saying she just needed a couple more.  Finally the torture stopped. “Sorry love.”

“Not too much arch V I don’t wanna be like,” I then mocked a fake gasp as I raised my brows as high as I could “The president and the Queen of England are having a steamy affair.” The two of us giggled and she said as she came back towards my face.

“Okay wait, wait, wait watch out let me get this one now.” She then pulled the hair out and I groaned as I rubbed around it trying to ease the pain as Veronica continued, “From furry to fierce girl, Jack won’t know what hit him. Don’t you think so Laura?” She cooed at her daughter.

“You look like a princess auntie (y/n).” she said.

“Aww thank you baby, say want me to do yours next?” I said as I tugged her into my lap and playfully tickled her making her squirm as we heard a knock at the door.

“Come in!” Veronica called out.  Opening the door was none other than Deacy.  “Hello my husband.”

“Hey Deacy.”

“Oh Veronica’s day spa?” he teased which made us laugh.  “Veronica love, we should be getting back to the hotel. Brian was just putting the boys into bed.”

“Yeah you’re right. Let me just talk with (y/n) about a couple more things and I’ll meet you down in the car.” Veronica said.

“Very well, but you better be in the car in the next 5 minutes.” Said Deacy as he walked up to his wife and the two of them kissed each other’s cheek. He then came around towards me and kissed my cheek and said, “Goodnight love.”

“Night brother of mine.” I said as I pecked his cheek back.

“Alright you c’mon along. Maybe you can be an example for your mother and your aunt.” Deacy said to Laura as he picked her up. She tiredly rubbed her eyes and let out a soft yawn.

“Goodnight Laura-bear.” I said.

“Night-night auntie (y/n).” she said as she leaned up against her daddy’s shoulder.  Deacy wrapped his arms around her and carried her out of the room.  I smiled warmly and said to Veronica.

“You both are just too damn cute together. I swear it’s like you both were meant to be.”

“Ehh he’s alright.” She teased which made me playfully shove her making her laugh.  “Nah John’s great. When I was pregnant with Robert I was so scared he wouldn’t want anything to do with him because we were so young, but he popped the question right then and there and vowed to stay by my side for every morning sickness, every appointment and every milestone for not only him but for every child we would have in the future.”

“And you both have made 4 perfect little angels. I only hope Jack and I can be just like you guys.”

“Sweetie, a word of advice. Just be you and Jack. Your story may have some similarities to John and I, but never try to follow our example. You both make your own stand and your own marks in life. Believe me even John and I have made mistakes in the past. Not every couple is perfect, no matter how it seems on the outside. But I do hope you and Jack find happiness together. After all you’ve been through, you deserve this honey.”

“Yeah.” I sighed heavily and said, “I just wish they were here to see this day. I bet my dad would be a blubbering mess right about now and my mum would be frantically trying to make sure everything was in place.”

“They’re always watching you sweetheart. When someone we love leaves us, they’re never really gone. And I know they’d be so happy for you right now. Just like we all are.” She stroked my cheek and we both hugged and kissed each other goodnight.  She walked out of the room and soon her and Deacy left Jack’s home and soon enough Jack had come into the bedroom.

“Hey love.” I said with a smile.

“Hey baby.” He said as he came into bed and pulled me close to him.  His arm wrapped around my back, drawing random patterns along my spine while I cupped the side of his face as the two of us lay there face to face of each other.  “Can you believe in one week we’ll finally be husband and wife?”

“It seems like it was only yesterday when you popped the question before millions of people at Madison Square Garden.”

“I can’t wait to call you my wife.”

“And I can’t wait to call you my husband.” He smiled and leaned forward and kissed me softly.  His free hand cupped the side of my face, his thumb brushing across my cheek and as we separated and pressed our foreheads together.  “So, you got your bachelor party assembled?”

“Yeah, Jared and Jensen are taking me up to a lodge up in Colorado this weekend along with the rest of the groomsmen.”

“Promise not to have too much fun and end up falling in love with a hot ski girl?”

“She won’t even compared to you. Promise me you won’t fall in love with a male stripper?” I laughed softly and said.

“Don’t worry, the girls will keep an eye on me during our spa retreat in Huston.” Jack then reached over and turned out the lights and the two of us cuddled together before finally falling asleep.

[bucky-iss-bae]

Little Miss CEO - (Billy Russo x Reader) - Part 3

Part 3 of Little Miss CEO - Hope you all enjoy x Links to Part 1 and 2 are at the bottom x 

Fandom: Marvels The Punisher

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Word Count: 2700 ish 

Warnings: 

Summary: Billy and Y/N get set up by their friends, but they clash heads more than they get on. He thinks she’s a gold digger bitch and she thinks he’s Mr Obnoxious, are either of them, everyone else thinks that they’re too stubborn for their own good and probably get on.

A/N: Hope you all enjoy, any feedback is welcome x

Masterlist

Little Miss CEO Part 2 

Little Miss CEO - Part 3 

Karen didn’t get the chance to grill me until Thursday night, that’s how long the week was. I was trying to make sure I had all my work done so by the weekend I wouldn’t need to do anything, depending on if I get drunk, or not I would at least have time to myself.

“Ok, so. You told me you’ve got an official date tomorrow night. But you haven’t told me how it came to that. Literally, the last time I saw the two of you together, you were ready to fight him, and you’re rarely ready to fight someone”

“Yeah, then he walked into my office Monday morning, changes his ways. I mean, I was wary of him when he came into my office a few days ago. Honestly, thought he stood me up when he was nearly twenty minutes late, but then I don’t know, because I didn’t have any expectations, I think we really clicked”

“Does that mean that personality is also on there? Because I’m pretty sure that means he’s ticking all the boxes”

I narrowed my eyes at her, “Shut up” I threw something at her and she just laughed,

“You know, you need to be open to relationships right?” She started calmly, “Maybe this is the change you need. I mean you’ve moved past everything that happened, I mean you’ve made something amazing of yourself and you’re in a good place right now. What’s stopping you?”

“I... I don’t know. I found you and you made me realise that sure not all friends are snakes. I mean I felt like I had to build my relationships up from the ground all over again. But you made that so much easier, everyone at work made it easier. And I know my siblings are fine, I just feel so happy and like everything is perfect, I feel like I don’t want to move things on in case they don’t work out. You know what I get like. When I like someone I like them a lot. Sure I’m not obsessive but I, well I wear my heart on my sleeve and I hate it”

“It's not a bad thing Y/N. Just take... take a chance. And I know that you are, by going on the date, but I know you, you’ll have your walls up. You’ll joke in a way to show you haven’t got romantic feels. Just... be yourself. I promise you if he hurts you in a way where it’s not mutual. I’ll let you sort him out”

I snorted at that, “I... I want to take it slow even if something does happen out of it. I mean I told him about the shit that happened. I mean that got rid of any toxic friends I had.”

“Yeah, and now your ex-best friend works as one of your sister's nurses. Your sister is the senior surgeon right?”

I grinned, “My sister is a senior surgeon, and one of my brothers is a lawyer in Philly the other working in the CIA. They’re doing well, especially since the twins were a handful”

“Good, and so are you. So you should let yourself have fun. All your main responsibilities are looking after themselves and their families now, why not you?”

I took what she said in. It’s true. My siblings, I raised during my teenage life, and early twenties. My brother that’s a lawyer has a kid, he joined the Marines as soon as he left school, then got into Columbia at 22, graduated and got accepted to a top law firm and has worked his way up. Using what my parents left for them got them through college now my sister, a prodigy, is living her best life doing what she enjoys, saving lives. My brothers the same.

I used what I could from my own savings while I was working two jobs at once, and what was left of my parents will, to invest in my company. And I did. I got past the shit I was put through, got me some real friends, got me, my family. Got me my own business. Now going to go get me, a life.

“I just fucking realised, I’m going on a date with your man’s best friend. How long you been setting this up for?” I asked her.

“Oh you know... we thought it crashed and burned last Friday. Imagine our surprise when we found out that he walks into your office. And somehow despite us both telling each of you to lay off of work. It’s what bought you two together”  

I shook my head, “You can say this again after the date”

**

The date came around so much quicker than I thought. It was 6pm on Friday, I had just finished up my paperwork. Locked up my office and decided I’m not coming back this weekend. I can do what I need to at home.  

It took nearly an hour to get back home, I mean come on rush hour traffic in New York City on a Friday night. It was tragic. But at 10 past 7 I realised, I had yet to shower, do my hair, my makeup, and choose an outfit. And I can’t even do that when I don’t have a deadline.

I started with my shower. And as soon as I had finished I wrapped my hair in my towel and walked into my wardrobe. Having such a good job, one of the first things I had done was get a new apartment with Karen. We have an above average apartment. And I put that much down for the deposit that we pay basically the same amount we did before but in a nicer place, a much nicer place. 

I chose my outfit, it was a plain black jumpsuit that was comfortable and complimented my figure. I then dried my hair and let it fall naturally. I put on some makeup, I wasn’t over the top, but enough.

“Karen” I called walking out of my room. She was at the kitchen island pouring some wine in a few glasses and Frank was on the couch.

He looked at me as did Karen, “You’re running a little late aren’t you?” Frank asked looking at his watch, “How long till my boy gets here?”

I snorted at that, “Like you don’t know”

“Yeah, he should be here in the next few minutes. It’s nearly 8 right?”

I rolled my eyes, “You both know that as well. I’m not even nearly ready. But Karen, do I look alright?” I asked her.

She smiled, “You look good. I promise you. When was the last time you had a date”

“Fuck knows if I’m being real right now.”

“It’ll be fine. Billy ain’t the twat he was last week alright”

“I’m taking your work on that Castle. Same for you Karen.” I smirked at her.

She grinned, “What shoes you wearing?”

“Some heels. You think it’ll be ok?” I asked. I had some simple black heels in my mind. 

“Go put them on, also your eyeliner... it looks a little smudged on your right eye”

I grimaced and walked to the closest mirror, “you’re full of shit Karen” I said seeing my just about perfect eyeliner. Well perfect for me.

She laughed and before she could say anything there was a knock at the door.

The other two looked at one another and before I could even move to answer the door Frank had jumped over my couch and ran to my door.

“For fuck's sake” I groaned,

“You shh, and go finish getting ready?” Karen said sending me away.

I grimaced and walked away to my room grabbing my shoes and bag. I heard Frank answering to Billy,

“The fuck are you doing here?” Billy asked Frank,  

“Y/N is like my sister Bill. Why wouldn’t I be here? And where are her flowers Bill? Thought you would be a gent”

I didn’t hear Billys reply, but I walked out there all ready to leave.

“Hey” I smiled at him, both Billy and Frank were stood at the door, “I’m good to go” I said to Billy.

“Nah, lets bring him inside for a little while. You guys aren’t in a rush are you?”

“You don’t even live here Frank. And you're inviting him into my place?” I asked with a laugh, “Also, aren’t you supposed to be his best friend.”

“Yeah... but c’mon, I’m trying to look out for ya, you know”

“I know, and I appreciate it. Thank you”

He grinned, “You kids have fun now.”

I rose my eyebrows but walked past Frank and towards Billy.

He smiled once he saw me, and both of us left.  

“You look really good by the way.” He smiled at me,

“Thank you, so do you”

He snorted at that, “I had to change it up again because I wear suits to much”

I laughed at that, he was wearing a polo top, with some jeans and he looked really good his arms were just... amazing. 

We walked down to his car and in his car he had some flowers, “For you. Sorry I didn’t give them to you up there. I know what Frank is like and knew he would be there”

I let out a small laugh, “They’re beautiful, thank you. And you really predicted Frank would be there?”

“Yeah, I know him too well for him not to take the opportunity when he has it” He said once he opened the door for me. I got in the car and he went around getting into the driver’s side.

“I didn’t realise he was there only minutes before you got there. I literally got ready in like 50 minutes. That’s an extreme sport”

He laughed, “Damn, you’re making me look bad. I had to leave work early because I was panicking. Then I had no clue what I should wear, how I looked. Then all I saw were the scars, and I didn’t know what type of food you would like, that’s when I called Frank who asked Karen, and well, I think I got stuff sorted. I think”

I smiled across at him, “I thought I was nervous, but then my nervous means avoiding everything until it gets to the thing I’ve been nervous about. But anyway, where we going?”

“We’re going to a... dive bar?” he asked looking at me.

I rose my eyebrows, “Ok cool, a repeat of a few days ago then yeah?”

He grinned and shook his head, “Nah, I was messing. We’re going to some up class restaurant that’s like 30 floors high. A nice rooftop restaurant. Got the lights of the city. Apparently, you’ve been wanting to go there for a while?”

“Wow. How do you get this organised in one afternoon?”

“Well, a chef that has catered past events for me, he knows all the good chefs in the city, asked if he knew the head chef at this place, he does and well it worked some form of magic apparently”

“Wow. I’m impressed Russo”

“Good. I feel like its difficult to impress a girl like you”

My jaw dropped, “A girl like me? How?” I asked.

“Because most girls get impressed at money. You don’t roll that way because you make money. I mean, I could most likely take you to McDonald's and you’d be happy, you were so quick to accept the dive bar”

“Oh hell yeah, just because I’m a PT, get me a good burger and we’ll be best friends”

He laughed at that, “Damn, this place better serve the best burgers you’ve ever had then”

I smiled across at him, “Awhh you wanna be my best friend if you wanna get me the best burger huh?”

He laughed, “Don’t know how Frank would feel about that. Same goes for Karen”

“Lets be real, how would I feel about it? I mean you’ve proven you’re not as obnoxious as I thought you were, I mean you managed to get me on a date, after being an obnoxious prick”

He laughed at that, “It took a bit of hard work. But it was worth it”

“Damn right it better be worth it, my time is valuable Russo” I joked.

He laughed and we soon got there, it was beautiful, I didn’t feel over or underdressed. It was a casual place, an over-nice casual place that looked like an Instagram hotspot.

We were seated as he already made a reservation whereas most people had to book exactly two weeks in advance and well those advance bookings go like wildfire.

We were both seated along the balcony and something nothing beats the way your home city looks at sunset.

Both Billy and I spoke and laughed for ages getting to know one another. It wasn’t every day that someone puts so much effort into a date especially since this time last week we were ready to kill one another.

**

Flowers. He got me flowers. The Monday after probably the most amazing, (Don’t tell Karen) but an amazing date and he got me flowers. Friday night we were there for hours, we moved from the dining area to the bar, we stayed at the bar till we were both too drunk to do anything, he called someone who works for him to get his car and the both of us took a taxi back to our places. I didn’t go to his or stay at his because I’m a lady, but when I’m drunk I’m loud as fuck, both Karen and Frank were at home. I woke them both up, had to act serious. Had to somehow get to my room, and well despite suffering a hangover the following day, and teasing from Frank and Karen. It was worth it.

But now, Monday morning back at work, my receptionist comes into my office with flowers and a note.

“Um, these are for you. From Bill Russo at Anvil?” She asked with a sly smirk on her face.

I blushed bright red at that, “Wow, ok. Wow” I said taking them off of her. There was a cute message with the flowers and I just grinned like a fool.

“So I couldn’t help but notice. They’re some nice flowers” She said with a shit eating grin.

“Shut up, they’re so cute”  

“Although when I left him in here last week you two looked like you were ready to kill one another”

I shrugged, “That was then, this is now”

She snorted at that, “Uh huh. So how was your date? Did you go on a date or is he still trying to woo you?”

“So last week after work, we met up. Just got to know one another and set our differences aside. He then asks me on a date for Friday, takes me to the Rooftop bar, and it was such a nice night. We really hit it off, and his best friend is also dating my best friend. And they teased me, him, us so much. And we’ve been talking all weekend and now, he thinks it's acceptable to be really cute and send me flowers? Why is that allowed?”

“Maybe he like, likes you” She sang

“Yeah well, maybe I like, like him” I bit back, “Ew no. I don’t like feeling like this shit. Why did he do this”

“Hah, you have to deal with feelings” she scoffed out. 

I grimaced, I did have to deal with feelings and I didn’t like it. But I do like it. A lot.

I sent Karen a snap of the flowers because she had to know, if she didn’t know then well there would be trouble.

She told me how cute they are, and then I messaged Billy saying thank you to which he replied with a message about me liking them. But we once again spoke all day.

It went on like this for a few weeks. We went on a few dates, they were great but I was also getting some feelings. I really don’t know how to feel about that.

But the way our dynamics changed from when we first met amazes me because he seems like a different person. And it’s not the way in which he was a prick when we first met. Although he was I assumed he was like that towards everyone and anyone when he first meets them. Instead he had his barriers up in front of someone new. He explained to me how he doesn’t like to show himself to others. I understood this, and felt the same, yet we were kicking down one another's barriers, and let me tell you, thinking back to that Friday night, has made such a difference. 

Little Miss CEO part 4

Tagged List for ‘Little Miss CEO’

@thebabblingbookworm  @bilesxbilinskixlahey   @utterlyhopeful

(If you want to be tagged in following parts send me a message)

A/N: Hope you liked their date, and hope you’re all liking this so far. Next part should be up soon xoxo 

[dicebox]

Paying it Forward (Fic)

Brawdr raised his shield in plenty of time to catch his attacker’s blow, hardly even needing to think about it. There was potential there, sure, but his opponent had a lot more to learn. “Your every swing screams louder than you do, short-stack!”

His opponent, a twelve-year-old girl with messy black hair and a stern expression, looked even more stern when she frowned. Brawdr stifled a laugh. It was rare that he could call a human short, even a young human, but he had a good six inches on the child. Brawdr was on the tall end of dwarven height, and he wasn’t sure this Crestwind girl was ever going to be that much taller than him. Still, for all she still telegraphed her weightier strikes, she was coming along well for someone Brawdr had first seen hitting a lamp post with a stick. 

Brawdr shook his head and raised his practice sword, a gesture that indicated an end to their bout. “You got that swat and riposte move down, anyway. Let’s see how well you retain it after a day’s running about. Off with you; I’m sure your folks got chores for you.”

Young Crestwind looked disappointed, but she raised her own practice blade to acknowledge the end of combat. She slid the blade into her belt, slung her practice shield across her back, and gave Brawdr one of her rare smiles – a flash of small, solid teeth with awkward warmth at the edges. “See you tomorrow, Brawdr,” she said, before heading off to the more residential parts of town; to her family, their bakery, and her tiny fluffball of a dog. To a life she was making every preparation to leave behind her for more exciting things as soon as she could get away with it. 

Brawdr watched her go, shaking his head. “Kid’s got no notion of what she’s getting herself into.”

“So why teach her?” Kallad, a weather-beaten dwarf with a voice as grizzled and rough as his beard, spoke up from the hay wagon he was using as a makeshift day bed. “Didn’t think you went for them that young.”

Brawdr gave Kallad a flat, ice-cold look. “Not like that, you pile of cloaker shit. Kid wanted some lessons. Call it paying it forward. It’d surprise you how much potential teenage human girls can have, if you bring it out of them.”

Kallad frowned at Brawdr over the edge of the hay wagon. “This something to do with what happened to the rest of your Shield-Splitters? ‘Cos you been sitting on that one for two months now.”

“I’m not getting out of this one, am I?” If Brawdr was honest, he didn’t entirely want to. He was going to have to tell that one eventually. The wound in his heart caused by the loss of his squad would fester if he didn’t let the pain flow free.

Still, it was hard. So when Kallad simply fixed Brawdr with a steady expectant look, Brawdr had to take a moment to collect himself with closed eyes and a deep, slightly ragged breath before he could begin.

It was as much shock as anything else that got Brawdr to open his eyes. He hadn’t had another breath in him, and he knew it – some things even a dwarven constitution couldn’t handle, and whatever he’d just drunk was clearly one of those things on top of the rest of his injuries. But there had been another breath, dragged out of him by a feeling of light and cleansing healing that he recognised from the few times he’d had cleric healing. Of course, if we’d had a cleric on this run, when the harpies attacked, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

With an effort to focus his mind back on the present danger, Brawdr turned his attention to what his eyes were telling him. The power that pulled him back from the edge of death, however slightly, was divine, and so was the face in front of him – young, hair that looked like someone spun it from winter sunlight and white gold, eyes the same pale clear blue as a Damyl winter sky. Those eyes started worried but shaded through relief at his breathing to a combination of rage, grief and betrayal at the situation. Brawdr, staggered and almost dead, didn’t understand that expression at all. If he was honest, he didn’t want to.

A voice came from behind her, then: male, gravelly, with the inflections marking a resident of the less prosperous districts of Belarys. “Step away from them, girl. We’ve got looting to do, and a throat to cut. Then we’re going to talk about what you did just then.”

Brawdr, still staggered by the poison, could only watch as the girl – who, he realized when he got a better look at her, couldn’t be more than thirteen – grabbed Trey’s axe and staggered to her feet with it clutched in her hands, a thin human shield between Brawdr and the mid-height portly human and the somewhat pinch-faced woman who was probably his wife, neither of whom seemed to share much in the way of family resemblance to their self-confessed daughter. Brawdr spent little time on that bit of trivia, so shaken was he by the sure and certain knowledge that Trey was dead. He would never have let his axe fall if he lived. Apparently even a half-orc’s ability to bounce back from certain death got trumped by a good solid poison.

Then the girl said something that froze Brawdr’s blood. “Leave them alone, Dad! You don’t get to reward yourself for this! Anyway, we saw your workbench, me and Edrik. He’s taking all the evidence to the guard right now. Run, and maybe you won’t have to go to jail forever.”

The pinch-faced woman grumbled a particularly nasty string of profanities while the man lunged forward too fast for the girl to so much as raise the axe in self-defense. Her father slapped the axe out of her hands with one hand and grabbed her wrist with the other. For all the girl dragged her heels on the boards of the airship docking tower, it wasn’t enough, and Brawdr could only watch as the man flung his own daughter off the edge of the tower, towards the ocean-side cliff face and its jagged rocks hundreds of feet below.

The man turned away from the murder of his daughter, producing a knife from seemingly nowhere … and then the sky lit up behind him and the teenage girl with the faintly celestial look rose to the platform, borne away from her death by a pair of ephemeral white-gold wings. The three still-living people on the dock stared as she landed next to the axe, picked it up again and stood, wings bent in an unconscious mantling gesture of protection. “Leave. Them. Alone, Dad.”

The man backed away in the general direction of his wife. With a snarl at the winged little girl he’d apparently fathered, he said, “We’ll be back. And you’d better not be here when we are because if I see you again, I finish it with blades, not a fall. I’ll make it stick next time, abomination. I—”

That broke the girl’s badly-fraying calm and left a spark of purest rage, and she bellowed “LEAVE!” at him.

Her parents – her presumed parents – ran. Because apparently they had enough sense to retreat when something that looked so close to divine was that angry at them.

The rage abated quickly after that, and left only a thin, too-blonde girl who turned back to Brawdr on trembling legs. “I’m sorry. About them, and that I couldn’t do more. I … didn’t want Edrik to lose you.” With that, she offered Brawdr a hand. Brawdr took it, noting with amusement that she managed to hold a two-handed battle-axe with one hand while pulling a good-sized dwarf in full armour to his feet with the other. Strong kid, he thought. And I’ve never seen a weapon attune to someone that fast.

The amusement was faint and short-lived, though; it died when he turned around to look at what had become of his team. They all lay sprawled at the foot of the boarding ramp, where the criminal pair had set up their impromptu ‘mercy stall’. Trey, their dim-witted but kind-hearted barbarian whose axe had saved the last of the Shield-splitters even when he himself could not. Ardren, a gnome thief who could vanish surprisingly well for a man with beacon-bright red hair and more freckles than stars in the sky. Jerhen, Brawdr’s shield-brother since they were toddling. Even the newest addition to their band, a lilac-skinned tiefling bard called Mockery, who had been hurt so badly in their fight with the harpies that all they could do was stabilise her until they could get her to a healer … or a potion. Mockery was the only reason they’d bought the potions in the first place. No matter how much Trey wanted to be in fighting shape for a good carouse, they wouldn’t have bought from an untried source if Mockery’s life hadn’t been on the line. Brawdr was the leader. He’d given it the go-ahead. In trying to save Mockery’s life, he’d doomed them all … or almost all.

The girl followed Brawdr’s look and then looked away, disgusted. “This is what my parents do when they need to lie low after a big break-in,” she told him. “Usually it’s just water and some herbs to give it colour and stuff – won’t heal you, but won’t hurt you either. This time … I want to say they used the wrong herbs, but…”

Brawdr shook his head. “This isn’t your fault any more than it is mine, kid. We both just get the consequences. I look for a new crew. You, though … word gets around, and no one in those circles likes a snitch. What’ll you do now?”

The girl shrugged, still not looking at Brawdr – not even when the effort of shrugging reminded her of the weight of two-handed great axe in her hand. She offered it to Brawdr. “Sorry. You should have this back.”

“No. It’s yours now.” Then, watching the ice magic play along the blade of the axe, he smiled a little. “And I think I’ve got an idea of where you can go.”

__________

“North’s not a bad bet, for a kid.” Kallad conceded the wisdom of Brawdr’s eventual decision in a thoughtful sort of way. “The People give everyone who wants one a shot, and clan’s almost like family. Better than the one she had, anyway.”

Brawdr nodded. “Good weapon, a general direction, and all of Trey’s part of the pay. Least I could do. Pretty much literally.” He sighed. “I owe her my life, and I couldn’t take her in. Hell, I had to send Edrik to my in-laws, and they’re racist pricks when it comes to humans.”

After a long moment of silence, Kallad pointed out, “You do know the kid probably wasn’t human, yeah?”

Brawdr pondered the wisdom of flagging up that if his in-laws were pricks about human, they were hardly going to be more accepting of a faintly celestial-looking humanoid with occasional wings. He decided against it, and stuck with, “Not my business what she was, except kind and brave and … well, timely.”

Kallad chewed on his bit of straw for another long, quiet moment before he nodded, conceding the wisdom in that point of view as well. Then he changed the subject, largely out of tact. “So what does this have to do with you teaching the Crestwind girl? Totally different situation there. You hear stories – the Crestwinds are the most stable, balanced parents in the province. Maybe the country. The day they fling their precious little girl off an airship tower is the day I sprout wings and fly.”

“I sent a little girl out with a weapon she was lucky to lift, a bag of gold, and courage for three.” Brawdr heaved himself into the hay wagon at Kallad’s feet. “I think about her sometimes. If she managed. If she even got to the People. Guess you could say it haunts me. The Crestwind girl’s got big plans to shake the dust of her district off her boots soon as she can. So that’s two girls of an age on their own in the world; one by necessity, one by choice. If I couldn’t give the first one the tools she needs to survive out there, I can the second. Paying it forward, maybe.” Then he chuckled. “Besides, bet those two’d run in similar circles, one day. Maybe what I teach Crestwind’ll help that other one, too.”

Kallad, cleric of Istus the Fateweaver, gave a non-committal sort of smile, and said nothing.

[madness-of-lost-memories]

Tagging Game

I was tagged by @sanhatipal , thanks for the tag! ^_^

Answers under the cut, since it ended up a bit long.

How tall are you? ♠ 157 cm! So, 5'2 inches. There was a time when I thought I'd grow more, but meh, at this point I'm pretty fond of my height (I can fit in pretty much every bath tub in existence like how cool is that).

What colour and style is your hair? ♠ I'm a brunette (shade-wise, "brown chocolate" looks the closest). Since my hair is naturally wavy (lol, apparently a "waviness" level exists; looks like mine is "Wavy 2A", aka the softest one), I pretty much only get it layered and leave it like that. As for length - right now it reaches my upper waist. During the summer, I wear it in a low ponytail. Oh, and I have side-swept bangs. Overall - very low maintenance, lol.

What color are your eyes? ♠ Light green, with a bit of yellow-ish brown around the iris. That said, as most light eyes, they can look a bit blue-ish or grey-ish at times, depending on the light.

Do you wear glasses? ♠ No, though my eyes aren't in a perfect condition (I'm slightly near-sighted + I really tire my eyes these days... years... xD).

Do you wear braces? ♠ No.

What’s your fashion sense? ♠ Erm, a simple one? Primarily skinny jeans + blouses/shirts. Main colours: black, red and white.

Full name? ♠ (H) Elena (of Troy).

When were you born? ♠ June 23rd, 1996 (technically, on the 3rd astronomical summer day here).

Where are you from and where do you live now? ♠ Bulgaria and I still live there.

What school do you go to? ♠ I barely remember anything before "high" school, so I'll talk mainly about that + university.

I went to a "Professional technical school"... Erm, kinda hard to explain to non-eastern european people, but basically a school that both teaches the normal subjects regular (high) schools have + special subjects, connected to a specific course (computer technology, optics, etc.). My course was called (lit. translation) "Cinematography, audio and video systems" and it contained pretty much everything from handling old-school movie projectors, to handling movie cameras, video editing, as well as some basics on sound capturing / editing, etc., etc. When you graduate you get 2 different diplomas and I guess you can skip on going to university, but I actually use what I learned there to earn money and pay my university fees xD

As for university - I study law, which many people here consider to be a “useless” degree, as unless you have solid connections (and relatives that work as lawyers, etc.), getting a job can be rather difficult... Still, I'm going to give it a try the "normal" way (aka via legit interviews, etc.) and we'll see how things will work out.

What kind of student are you? ♠ I was actually the student with the 2nd highest grade in my class, but I wouldn't say I had an interest in high grades in general. I was just scared of failing my teachers' expectations, so I tried my best.

As for university - it really depends on the subject, 'cause civil law is not something I'm too interested in and, naturally, my grades aren't too high xDD I try to prioritize the subjects I like / will need in the future and learn just enough to pass for everything else.

Do you like school? ♠ Yup, overall. My class was kinda split into groups, so there were conflicts, but there were a lot of fun moments too.

Favorite subject? ♠ I'd say Biology and later on - Literature. As for university - Criminal Law and Criminology.

Favorite tv shows? ♠ In no specific order - Victor Ros (Murder Mystery/Thriller), Victoria (Drama/History) and Anne with an E (Drama/Based on a book). As for anime - Psych-Pass, Durarara!! and Pandora Hearts (maybe it's the nostalgia, but I still love it, regardless of it's flaws).

Favorite movie(s)? ♠ At the top of my head - The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Red Dragon (2002), Phenomena (1985), Van Helsing (2004), Dog Soldiers (2002), Labyrinth (1986), Pan's Labyrinth (2006), The Hound of the Baskervilles (2000), The Never Ending Story (1984), When Marnie Was There (2014; though a lot of Ghibli movies come to mind), The Lion King (1994; + many other Disney movies), The Stoning of Soraya M. (2008);

Favorite book(s)? ♠ Oh, boy... Crime and Punishment (1866), all of the novels about Sherlock Holmes (The Hound of the Baskervilles being my favorite), Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949), The Chrysalids (1955), The Secret Garden (1911), The Picture of Dorian Gray (1890), The Silence of the Lambs (1988), Red Dragon (1981), Psycho (1959), Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming (1991), Dracula (1897), The Phantom of the Opera (1909), Memoirs of a Geisha (1997), the Grimm brothers' fairy tales aaaand more.

Do you have regrets? ♠ I don't really think so. Or should I say, I do, but they don't stay for long. I mean, just because I failed today doesn't mean I'll fail tomorrow as well, you know?

Dream job? ♠ As a kid I wanted to become a vet. Right now, I'm aiming for the position of a police investigator, though working as a prosecutor or private detective (at some point later on) is still a good option in my book.

Do you like shopping? ♠ Only online one, lol. I find (clothes) shopping to be slow and tedious for most of the time.

What countries have you visited? ♠ I've been to Germany for 4 days, during a music festival. At the time I was only 13, so I barely remember anything, aside that it was very cold, the natives seemed nice and I really liked the architecture of the houses + how quiet the small town was.

Scariest nightmare you have ever had? ♠ Once I dreamed my home city was hit by nuclear bomb (I literally saw the explosion out of my window), so I guess that. It's kinda funny how stressed one is after such a dream, before they realize (well, more like their brain realizes) that it was a dream and not reality.

Any enemies? ♠ I don't think so? Though I presume a handful of people online dislike me, but that is to be expected.

Do you believe in miracles? ♠ Not really, not in the classical sense. I think some things, good or bad, happen "at the roll of a dice". Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win. No more, no less.

How are you? ♠ In a good mood, probably since I'll be visiting the seaside soon ~

I’m too lazy to tag, so if you see this post and feel like sharing some info about yourself, consider yourself tagged!

[care-devil]

Masterlist of Karedevil moments - Daredevil Season 2

[Season 1]   [The Defenders]  [Season 3]

It took me long enough, but here it is: the masterlist of Karedevil interactions for season 2! I did that for season 1 and didn’t do it for S2 because there were so many more scenes, and pretty self-explanatory, “canon” as some would say. But I figured it’d be great to have one for S2 as well. Season 3 is coming soon, as well as the one for the Defenders. I hope this will be of use to vidders, gif makers, or simply Karedevil addicts! If you do use this, please let me know, like, reblog or tag me so that I know it’s actually useful to someone :) 

Episode 1  - Bang!

Scene 1:

○ When: around 6′55

○ What: Foggy tells Matt Karen’s being suspicious about his... physical state.

○ Main quotes:

Foggy: "You know Karen’s been asking questions? The cuts, the scrapes, the bruises?”

Matt: “What did you tell her?”

Foggy: “You’ve a drinking problem.”

Scene 2:

○ When: around 8′50 (until 11′00)

○ What: Matt & Foggy get to the office, Karen’s already there taking care of the clients.

○ Main quotes: “And [we have] each other” (Karen)

Scene 3

○ When: 17′29 - 20′20

○ What: Foggy, Karen and Matt are at Josie’s. Foggy leaves and Matt and Karen chat and play pool together.

○ Main quotes: well, it’s more a scene to watch than to listen to.

Episode 2 : Dogs to a Gunfight

Scene 1:

○ When: 4′25

○ What: Foggy’s taking care of Matt after he was beat up by Frank Castle.

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “Where’s Karen?”

Foggy: “We’ve been through this!”

Matt: “Oh yeah that’s right. You... You sure she’s okay?”

Scene 2:

○ When: around 24′30 to 29′30

○ What: Karen pays a visit to Matt, who took a “sick day.” She tells hims she’s not that okay, he hugs her. Karen then tells him he can tell her what’s going on with him, anytime. They also talk about the Punisher. Karen thinks they all created him, and that he and Daredevil are not that different.

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “Come here. I’m glad you’re okay.”

Later

Karen: “Okay, let’s say this. When, or if you ever feel like you can tell me what’s really going on with you, I promise that I’m here. Is that a deal?”

Matt: “That is a deal.”

Later (29′10)

Karen: “Wait... Matt, I... We care about you. You’re worth... keeping around.”

Episode 3 : New York’s Finest

None

Episode 4: Penny and Dime

Scene 1:

○ When: 7′20-8′50

○ What: Karen helps Matt tie his... well, tie. 

○ Main quotes:

Karen: “But... You’re feeling better?”

Matt: “Yeah... Now... with you.”

Scene 2:

○ When: 9′38

○ What: Karen, Matt & Foggy are seating next to each other at Grotto’s funeral.

Scene 3:

○ When: 14′55-16′50

○ What: Karen, Matt & Foggy are talking about the Punisher at the office. Then, Foggy leaves the two of them to talk.

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “I think... You are...”

Karen: “Oh my God, you think I’m insane?”

Matt: “No, I’m kidding. Compassionate. It’s a good quality Karen. The stuff of saints.”

Karen: “Yeah, but I’m no saint.”

Matt: “I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that.”

Scene 4:

○ When: 52′15

○ What: The trio is at Josie’s. Foggy leaves to order some drinks, so Matt and Karen are alone. AGAIN. (I see a pattern here, don’t you?) Matt asks Karen about her brother.

○ Main quotes:

Scene 4:

○ When: 53′59

○ What:  Foggy and Matt are alone outstide of Josie’s, waiting for Karen.

○ Main quotes:

Foggy: “Careful, Matt.”

Matt: “What’s that?”

Foggy: “Keep going like this, you might just end up happy. And for a Catholic boy, it’s a pretty dangerous thing.”

Matt: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Foggy: “God speed, Matt Murdock.”

Scene 5:

○ When: 54′38

○ What: THEY KISS IN THE FUCKING RAIN

○ Main quotes:

Karen: “Do you mind the rain?”

Matt: “No.”

Karen, taking his hand: “Then I’ll walk you home.”

THEY KISS I REPEAT THEY KISS

Matt: “Can I take you to dinner?”

Karen: “Yes.”

Matt: “Tomorrow?”

Karen: “Yes.”

Matt: “Goodnight, Karen.”

Karen: “Goodnight, Matt.”

Episode 5: Kinbaku

Scene 1:

○ When: 5′57

○ What: Karen comes into the office carrying coffee. Matt and Foggy are there. It’s the first time they see each other since their kiss. 

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “Is that coffee I smell?”

Karen: “What? Oh, yes, arabica for all!”

Matt: “Wow, thank you, you’re a goddess!”

Foggy: “Ok you two...”

Scene 2: 

○ When : 9′50- 10′25

○ What: Karen and Matt talking at the office, the day after they kissed (and after Elektra came back into Matt’s life).

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “I don’t think you’re wrong about Castle, but it’s really simple, Karen. Just, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Karen: “So, hum... Last night...”

Matt: “Last night? I don’t, what happened last night? At Josie’s? With Foggy? Something happened? Anything else?” *smiles like a goofball” Yeah, it was great. And I’d like to think I can do better, if we’re still on for dinner?”

Karen: “Hum, yeah, it’s a date.”

Scene 3:

○ When: 33′47

○ What: their first date *_* They’re at this fancy restaurant, they talk about work and are both being very awkward. Karen leaves for a few minutes, and meanwhile Matt gets a call from Elektra.

○ Main quotes:

Matt, to a waiter: "If I had to seem like I know everything there is to know about wines in the next 60 seconds, what would I order?” (it doesn’t seem like a very interesting quote BUT IT’S SO FREAKING CUTE BECAUSE HE WANTS TO IMPRESS KAREN)

Scene 4:

○ When: 40′10

○ What: Matt & Karen are eating at the Indian restaurant.

○ Main quotes:

Karen: “I wish you could see this place.”

Matt: “I can, if you describe it to me.”

Karen: “So, anyways, my favorite part is the ceiling. So it’s literally dripping with thousands of lights. They’re shaped like chilli peppers. It sounds really tacky, I know, but it’s not, it’s just... it’s magic.”

Scene 5:

○ When: 42′30

○ What: The end of the date, and the second kiiiiiiiiss

○ Main quotes: they sit, and...

Matt: “All right, I’m gonna kiss you.”

Karen: “You could come up... if you’d like.”

Matt: “I would love to...”

Karen: “But you won’t.”

Matt: “Not tonight.”

Karen: “It’s okay.”

Matt: “Can I tell you why? Because, I have this... incredible ability to bring disaster to the best things in my life, and tonight has been perfect. Don’t you think?”

Karen: “Yes.”

Matt: “And if I stop now, then I get to keep this one perfect night, and also I have the chance of keeping it going tomorrow *kisses her*, and the day after...”

Karen: “And the day after that...”

Matt: “Exactly” *kisses her forehead*

Karen: “Then I guess it’s good night, Mr Murdock.”

Matt: “Good night, Ms. Page.”

Episode 6: Regrets Only

Scene 1:

○ When: 9′50-12′18

○ What: at the office, Christopher Roth (Castle’s lawyer) is talking to Karen about her deposition.

○ Main quotes: Just a conversation between the trio!

Scene 2:

○ When: 13′48-18′34

○ What: Foggy, Matt & Karen pay a visit to Castle at the hospital + Karen and Matt hold hands at 15′58!!

Scene 3:

○ When: 18′44

○ What: Still at the hospital. Karen’s admiring Matt, as usual.

○ Main quotes:

Matt, to Karen: “We’re on shaky grounds, you need to be very careful.”

Scene 4:

○ When: 21′59

○ What: Matt kisses Karen on the cheek before he leaves to meet Elektra, the “new client that pays”.

○ Main quotes:

Foggy: “Woah, okay. Is this officially happening? Are you guys dating?”

Karen: “Hum... Ah...”

Matt: “Hum, we’re...”

Karen: “Not... labeling it.” Pause. Then, to Matt: “You know, why don’t I, why don’t I walk you out?”

Scene 5:

○ When: 22′27-23′40

○ What: Still at the hospital. Karen and Matt are talking outside the room.

○ Main quotes (aka the whole fudging dialogue):

Karen: “You think he’ll be okay, with this?”

Matt: “Yeah, I mean, it’s a pretty small office, it’s gonna take some getting used to.”

Karen: “Yeah, I guess.”

Matt: “But, I’m not misremembering, am I? It really was the best... curry on the planet?”

Karen: “Mmmm, yes. Great, great curry. Even better company.”

Matt: “I’ll try to make this [appointment] go quick.”

Karen: “You know what, Foggy and I have got our hands full with everything here, why not just make dinner for tomorrow night?”

Matt: “Yeah, can we?”

Karen: “Yeah.”

Matt: “And, thanks for backing me up earlier.”

Karen: “Well, I didn’t do it for us, I did it because helping Frank, getting to the truth, that’s the right thing to do. *Matt chuckles* What?

Matt, after he kisses her: “I know. All right.”

Karen: “Okay.”

Episode 7: Semper Fidelis

Scene 1:

○ When: 4′03-6′44

○ What: Talk at the office. Karen is going to visit Castle on her own. Yet another kiss (4th one)!

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “Karen? You know you don’t have to do this by yourself.”

Karen: “It’s okay, Castle doesn’t scare me.”

Matt: “Maybe he should.”

Karen: “I can take care of myself.”

Matt: “I know. But I’d be saying it to Foggy. Or a Navy SEAL. *smiles* “Just watch you back.”

KAREN KISSES MATT.

Karen: “Promise.”

Scene 2:

○ When: 35′10-36′50

○ What: Matt arrives late to Frank’s trial... They all chat and Foggy leaves.

○ Main quotes:

Karen: “You let him down, Matt.”

Matt: “I know. Hey, I know. But I’m gonna make it up to him. And I’m gonna make it up to you.” *kisses her on the forehead*

Scene 3:

○ When: 36′51

○ What: Karen and Matt are getting dinner at his place.

○ Main quotes:

Matt, about the preparation for the trial: “It could take all night.”

Karen: “Well, I don’t mind. What?”

Matt: “You ever considered law school?”

Karen: “Oh, I don’t know...”

[...]

Matt: “Just thinking Nelson and Murdock might be more fun as... Nelson, Murdock and Page.”

Karen: “Ugh, you’re sweet, uh... I don’t know, I don’t know if law school is really the right fit for me. I guess there’s just something about the rules and the loopholes. I just feels like the truth gets lost a little bit too often.”

Karen: ‘You ever think back to the night we first met?”

Matt: “Yeah, all the time.”

Karen: “Will I sat in that police station, alone, I was afraid of the whole world. Well, at least until you and Foggy came into my life, and... you trusted me, you gave me hope. And then we came back to your place...”

Matt: “I offered you Thai food.”

Karen: “Yeah, God, I remember everything about that night, ‘cause it’s... not everyday your life is threatened, then saved by a man in black. Hey you, you believe in what he does? You know, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen?”

Matt: “I, mmm, uh, I... I believe in the law. If, that’s what you’re asking.”

Karen: “Yeah, right. No, but... but what about when the law fails? Like it did with me, like it did with Frank? You know, what are we supposed to turn to? What sould we... what should we believe will protect us then?”

Matt: “See, you’re asking a Catholic lawyer.”

Karen, laughing: “I know...”

Matt: “What do you want me to say?”

Karen: “I don’t know, I guess it’s just...

ARGUE ABOUT FRANK, then call it a night.

Karen: “I don’t know, maybe after the trial’s over...”

Matt: “Yeah, real date next time.”

Elek*tra has been there all along, so Matt tells her: “She [Karen] is important to me.”

Scene 4: 

○ When: 50′11

○ What: Shit’s going down after a big reveal in Frank’s trial.

○ Main quotes:

Karen: “No, no, no, no, you don’t treat me like I’m just you secretary, I’ve done more work on this case that you have!”

Matt: “I can’t get into this right now, Karen.”

Karen: “No, enough of the dodgy bullshit. I deserver to know what is going on with you two. With you.”

Matt: “You asking as my co-worker? Or my girlfriend?”

Karen: “Both.”

Matt: “Yeah. I am sorry you’re caught in the middle of this, but right now I have to go.”

Karen: “Where?”

Matt, leaving: “I’ll see you tomorrow, Karen.”

Karen: “Yeah, maybe” (Matt hears her, close up to his face)

Episode 8: Guilty as Sin

Scene 1:

○ When: 24′04

○ What: Matt is with Elektra, at his place, and Karen shows up unexpectedly.

○ Main quotes: well, it doesn’t last long enough really, Karen is shocked to see Elektra, she just tells Matt Foggy could use his help with Frank’s trial and leaves.

Scene 2:

○ When: 32′00

○ What: Frank’s trial, Matt shows up and tries to apologize to Karen..

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “Karen, I’m so sorry about...”

Karen: “Uh, Foggy wants to walk through some things with you.”

Scene 3:

○ When: 39′21

○ What: After they lost Frank’s trial, outside of Court. Matt & Karen get into a fight.

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “Karen, let him [Foggy] go.”

Karen: “I don’t wanna hear it.”

Matt: “Karen, can I talk to you for five seconds-”

Karen: “I don’t want to hear another bullshit excuse. Maybe you are an alcoholic . Maybe you’re in a fight club. Maybe you are sleeping with a whole harem of women. I don’t care, I’m done. You’re right. This city really needs heroes. But you’re not one of them.

Episode 9: Seven Minutes in Heaven

Scene 1:

○ When: 23′50

○ What: Indirect scene, as Karen’s not there. Foggy came to see Matt at his place.

○ Main quotes:

Foggy: “What am I supposed to say to Karen?”

Matt: “I don’t know, same thing I’m telling you. [that he’s done apologizing for who he is]”

Episode 10: The Man in the Box

Scene 1:

○ When: 9′13

○ What: Matt & Karen meet outside of Court. It’s Karen who talks to him, he was just gonna climb the stairs without stopping. Well, he can certainly pretend he did not see her...

○ Main quotes:

Karen: “I, uh, see Reyes dragged you in too.”

Matt: “Karen? You all right?”

Karen: “Other than being hauled in as a suspect in the escape of a confessed murderer? Yeah, I’m great.”

Matt: “Yeah... This whole case has been a disaster. I’m sorry I pulled you guys into it.”

Karen: “Don’t be sorry.”

Matt: “How are you otherwise?”

Karen: “Good. Yeah, I’m good.”

Matt: “Good.”

Scene 2:

○ When:   15′39

○ What: Foggy, Matt & Karen are summoned by the DA. They all meet her in her office + gunshots, Matt shields Karen with his body.

○ Main quotes:

Matt, whispering to Karen: “It’s probably not a good idea...”

Karen: “Trust me.”

Episode 11: .380

Scene 1:

○ When: 8′28

○ What: yet another fight outside of the police station...

○ Main quotes:

Karen: “Matt.”

Matt: “Karen?”

Karen: “What are you doing here?”

Matt: “Brett reached out, something shot at you?”

Karen: “Yeah, it’s okay, I’m fine.”

Matt: “Why didn’t you call me?”

Karen: “Would you have answered? Look, Matt, I know you mean well, but I can take care of myself.”

Matt: “No you can’t, Karen! Not if Frank Castle wants you dead, no one can.”

Karen: “You’re right! You’re right! Castle’s dangerous, and maybe I can’t handle this, but I don’t want your help.”

Matt: “What’s going on with you? What are you holding back?”

[...]

Matt: “Then you need to back off.”

Karen: “No, Matt, you need to back off.”

Matt: “This is not a game, Karen, this is dangerous!”

[...]

Karen: “Look, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go...”

Matt, making a move: “I'm gonna come with you.”

Karen: “No! Matt, I'm.. I'm not yours to protect.”

Scene 2:

○ When: 21′20

○ What: Indirect scene, the friggin dialogue between Frank & Karen at the diner.

○ THE WHOLE DIALOGUE BECAUSE JFC:

Karen: “You're honest. You never lie to me.”

Frank: “Does he?”

Karen: “Who?”

Frank: “Come on. Let's not do that. Okay, the lawyer. Not the other one. Murdock.”

Karen: “Um... Yeah... He's got issues. It's complicated, like most people. Hard person to get to know. I just think that inside he's...”

Frank: “You love him, right?”

Karen: “You can't know that.”

Frank: “I'm sorry, can't know what?”

Karen: “You can't...”

Frank: “Come, we're in court, all that shit going on, it's all over your face. You can't hide that. You love him.”

Karen: “I might have... feeling for Matt Murdock, but it's just... it's just a swirl, it's a lot of things. Like, ingredients, not love.”

[…]

Karen: “He's the kind of man who hurts people. Not like you, but... he damages them. Breaks them.”

Frank: “Sorry, is that supposed to mean something?”

Karen: “So those are the people that you get out of you life.”

Frank: “Is that right? Look, I might be generally considered out of my skull, so this might not mean much, but this could be the craziest, most batshit thing I've ever heard in my life. People that can hurt you, the ones that can really hurt you, are the ones that are close enough to do it. People that get inside you and... and... and tear you apart, and make you feel like you're never gonna recover. Shit, I'd... I... I would chop my arm off right here, in this restaurant, just to feel that one more time for my wife. My old lady, she didn't just break my heart. She... she'd rip it out, she'd tear it apart, she'd step on that shit, feed it to a dog. I mean she was ruthless. She brought the pain. But she'll never hurt me again. You see, I'll never feel that. You sit here and you're all confused about this thing, but you have it. You have everything. So, hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?”

Scene 3:

○ When: 48′16

○ What: Indirect scene, Karen comes to the harbor after Frank has supposedly been killed. Matt’s there, as Daredevil, and he listens to her heartbeat. They don’t speak, but they breathe the same air.

Episode 12: The Dark at the End of the Tunnel

None

Episode 13: A Cold Day in Hell’s Kitchen

Scene 1:

○ When: 17′10

○ What: Matt learns Karen’s been taken. AND HE LOSES IT.

○ Main quote: “He wanted to know the names of everyone you ever saved.” (Brett)

Scene 2:

○ When: 18′10

○ What: Matt goes to Karen’s place, she’s not there, he’s FREAKING OUT

○ Main quote: “Karen” (I am not kidding you)

Scene 3:

○ When: 21′31

○ What: Matt just learnt that Karen has been taken. He’s on the rooftop, trying to hear her, but he can’t focus. 

○ Main quotes:

Elektra: “You can't just take the bait.”

Matt: “I know but I can't abandon them either.3

Elektra: “I know.”

Matt: “We gotta get ahead of this thing before any of them get hurt.”

Elektra: “Slow your breath. Focus. Okay. Focus. You'll find them. You'll find her, Matthew.”

Scene 4:

○ When: 27′30

○ What: Matt saves Karen, touches her face.

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “You're okay?”

Karen: “Better, now. Oh god... ”[seeing he's wounded]

Matt: “Go, go, go!”

Karen: “No, no, no, wait, wait...”

Scene 5:

○ When: 47′05

○ What: Karen and Foggy are having a drink at Josie’s.

○ Main quotes: “And now, not Matt...” (Karen)

Scene 6:

○ When: 54′05

○ What: the big reveal...

○ Main quotes:

Matt: “Thanks for meeting me.”

Karen: “What am I doing here, Matt?”

Matt: “I, uh, I have something...”

Karen: “No, I, I don't want it...”

Matt: “I have something... that I need you to see.” pause “I'm Daredevil.”