#my brain unfortunately craves approval

[multi-fandomdisaster]

Potentially cringe au sharing time!!! Yippie!!!

I have this one crack treated seriously-style Solve it Squad au that's been floating around in my brain for MONTHS (basically since I watched Solve it Squad for the first time) where after Cluebert's death, 14-15 year-old Benjamin Scragtowski in his state of grief (namely denial), decides to take drastic measures, taking a page out of the Demonic Apostle's book and using black magic (likely involving him killing someone else's dog [or maybe Keith's sick gecko, who knows?]) to necromance his dog back to life. So suddenly one day Cluebert's just back, and everything seems to slowly go back to normal. Only Esther seems to notice that this dog is 100% a sewn-together walking corpse, and it's driving them NUTS that nobody else seems to be acknowledging it.

[charcubed]

I saw Challengers earlier today and I decided to start a running doc of some of my feral thoughts in an effort to not forget what's currently marinating in my brain after my first watch

I want this movie to get a long theatrical release/run because it deserves it, but that's unfortunate because I also NEED to have it accessible to me in my home ASAP so I can pull on all its threads and take screencaps. Alas.

EXTENSIVE SPOILERS BELOW

might add to this later as I remember things, idk

-The parallel of Art spitting his gum in Tashi’s hand and in Patrick’s hand… My jaw dropped soooo early on. Anyway they obviously both act as Art’s “coach” at different times in his life in different ways. (The jerking off teaching?? Scream???) Art craves their guidance and approval as a form of love (which is also directly responsible for his confidence issues) and initially likes to follow their leads in every situation

-The parallel of Tashi making out with both Art and Patrick up against cars… delicious

-Patrick’s car is his “bed” and it’s where he and Tashi fuck. Nice

-Wait now I’m sad because… lowkey Patrick is homeless because Art and Tashi are his home…………….

-The storm = Patrick and Tashi having sex = the reason why Art’s half of the giant poster/ad on the side of the building falls down so only Tashi’s side is left up. Iconic, loooove a good visual metaphor, especially shown nonlinearly

-The parallel of the forehead kisses??? Art and Patrick on the court at the start when they won the doubles, and Art and Tashi in the sad almost-sex scene towards the end??? I will throw up

-Disclaimer and reminder I’ve only seen this movie once and might reform any of these thoughts later BUT…

One of Art’s main things is, as he tells Patrick towards the start, not wanting to be “left out.” He loves and he wants both Patrick and Tashi (but he doesn’t fully want to acknowledge the extent of his want for Patrick for years, and that repression is part of his problems…). He gets “lit up” about the thought of them together not because he’s jealous of one of them but because he’s jealous of BOTH of them; he wants to know it all, he wants to be in the room, he wants to be with them both, he despairs at the thought of losing either of them (but, at the start, especially at the thought of losing or being of lesser importance to Patrick. Obviously he’s a fucking idiot as evidenced by how Patrick goes to see him FIRST at Stanford. Ugh). We see all of this at the start when Art wants to know if Tashi and Patrick fucked. We see this in Atlanta when he witnesses Tashi cheating on him with Patrick but doesn’t directly confront either of them about it; he only skates the edge of confronting it with Patrick in the sauna while also lashing out at him. Patrick tells Art at Stanford “it’s nice to see you so lit up about something, even if it’s my girlfriend” during the homoerotic churros scene because Patrick’s clocked all of this about Art, too. He clocks it further in Atlanta when he shows up to Art’s practice with Tashi and his mere presence makes Art hit the ball harder. It obviously all comes full circle; the cocktail of emotions that Patrick and Tashi being together gives Art coalesces again for him on the court in the Challengers match: Tashi’s threatened to leave him if he loses… and she’s maybe got one foot out the door with Patrick of all people, who Art already “lost” in the past as the love he’s been mourning for 13 years. But what’s important is that THIS time, unlike Atlanta, Art learns about Tashi cheating on him with Patrick not by accident but rather because Patrick actually tells him. Patrick understands the significance of how this will get Art lit up again and make him play the way he needs to for all of their sakes, and it’s fucked up, but… what this means is Patrick doesn’t leave Art out. He TELLS Art – and he tells him in a way only they understand while they’re on the court together again. Of course Art goes through several stages of emotions in response to that fucked up information… but ultimately that moment of honesty and realization between the boys is what Art needed and puts where all 3 of them stand into sharp relief, shedding a light on who they’ve all always been and what their individual needs are.

Art’s always wanted to play tennis, but that desire is framed around his relationships. Tennis is only something he truly enjoys or that fully makes him happy when he’s experiencing it through his connections to other people: he wants to impress, earn the approval of, or celebrate with those he loves who are watching (like his grandmother or Tashi) – which is partially why he wants Tashi to be his coach in the first place. And of course, tennis all began as something Art found joy in because he was always doing it with Patrick. It’s clear Patrick feels the same. At the start, neither of them cared much about winning for the sake of winning unless it was doubles because they competed as a team and that was “really fun” for them. With the singles competition, they kind of cared less about the wins at the start; Art assumed Patrick would win and didn’t care back then, and then Patrick was willing to let Art win so he could impress his family, and they were both fine with all of those sentiments. Tennis was first and foremost something they did with and for each other. As Patrick later tells Art in the sauna, “I miss playing with you” – and, of course, at that point he’s definitely not only talking about tennis. But in that final match, after so many years, Patrick and Art finally understand each other completely again. It’s like they’re in love (because they are and always have been), they go somewhere really beautiful together… etc. They finally reconnect on the court and feel that thrill as they become synchronized again, which is what tennis was always about for them.

And Tashi, who’s irrevocably connected to them both and whose primary love is and always has been the sport itself, gets what SHE’S always wanted: to “watch some good fucking tennis.” It’s why she pitted the boys against each other vying for her number at the start. Though she needs/wants both boys in different ways on an individual level, she doesn’t particularly need or want anyone to ~be in love with her~; she wants the men who are in love with her to entertain her and challenge her and give her a show. So that’s what she tries to accomplish again in the end by telling Art she’d leave him if he lost the Challengers match… but the missing piece in her making that threat – the element that would get Art truly fired up – was that she’d potentially leave Art for Patrick. That final piece of info, when Art finds out about the cheating, is what reconnects them in all of the above ways. Because it’s about all 3 of them and their triangular codependency. They’ve all been broken for 13 years because they all need each other and tennis to be fully functional. Split any of it apart and they just don’t work.

-Literally this is a film where from the moment of the injury they’re all constantly mourning. They all lose their greatest loves that day… Tashi essentially loses tennis, Art loses Patrick, and Patrick loses the two of them. Everything after that is just them being affected by how they’re all mired in various grief and feeling incomplete… until that synchronization at the match when they finally become whole again. Going from that bed scene that was breaking my heart to the final match was HEALING. Things are still fucked up and in progress, but they’re fucked up in a way they all understand, which gives them a path forward. This movie has a fiercely happy ending in that regard… and what I’m saying is that… after the match, once they communicate further, and much later down the line… Art and Patrick should go back to playing doubles and Tashi should coach them as as doubles team. God they’d eventually all be so happy I wanna CRY just thinking about them doing that. It would take them awhile to get there — because yeah, Tashi is living vicariously through Art’s career as an individual player and maybe if Art retired she’d then want to live through PATRICK’S career for awhile — but I think if they worked out their relationship then their tennis could come to reflect the needs of that relationship too, and doubles can still be “good fucking tennis” in its own satisfying right, y’know? I think they could get there and it would be a beautiful collective restart.

-I gotta say, I can't imagine Tashi pregnant. Wild to me. Sorry to their daughter. Oooo also... I think Patrick would be great with kids... when he gets to meet Lily and become "Uncle Patrick" they're gonna hit it off so fast. Help me

-*holds up Tashi watching them kiss after she orchestrated it* *holds up the Challengers match* It’s the same picture. Except the kisses were kisses whereas the match was actual sex. The moaning and grunting… I’m insane. Also Tashi’s “COME ON!!!!” is arguably the sole orgasm/climax we witness in the whole movie perhaps? Though you could argue the hug is too. In this essay I will, etc.

-Art begging for Tashi’s love/validation saying “Tell me it doesn’t matter if I win tomorrow” vs Art telling Patrick in the sauna “this is a game about winning the points that matter” / Patrick saying “I don’t matter?” AAAA oh my fucking Goddddddd I’m gonna die

-Thank you Luca Guadignino for your dedication to having Art and Patrick hold phallic drinks and food in each others’ presence. Specific shout out to Patrick at the beach party holding the beer bottle on his crotch

-Patrick = comfortable with who he is and secure in his bisexuality; honest and open Art = repressing his queerness and his overall desires Tashi = hiding who she is aka her dissatisfactions with life and the lengths she’ll go to because tennis is her true greatest love and always has been

COMPRESS, REPRESS... REPRESS, COMPRESS... AND THEN JUST SURRENDER, ONE TWO THREEEEE

-I need to rewatch to catch the dialogue because it was difficult for me to hear it over the music, but I think in the 3am Atlanta scene Tashi tells Patrick that Art’s grandmother had a stroke. IF that’s what she said (and if there’s no reason to believe it’s a lie Art told; like I said, I need to rewatch)… my immediate impression was that it’s a nod to Patrick being the voice of accuracy and prediction in this movie. Towards the beginning he tells Art (jokingly) that he hopes Art’s grandmother dies of a stroke, and that’s seemingly what literally comes to pass. He repeatedly clocks both Tashi and Art’s behaviors, describing them brashly to their faces (and to us as the audience), and he was right about his predictions. He’s the one who’s not repressed or unaware of who he is out of the 3 of them: when Tashi first asks if there’s something between him and Art, he looks away because he knows the answer is yes; he’s openly bi on dating apps; he tells Tashi he won’t be her lapdog unlike Art which we see later ends up becoming literal; he clocks how Tashi is hiding some of her true motivations when she seeks him out in the storm; and even from afar he predicts Art’s mindset about wanting to retire. For the most part, what Patrick does / says either seems to be or becomes truth. Hmmm, wait, as I’m typing this… something to look out for: the “I TOLD YA” shirt. Working theory: Tashi briefly wears it, she’s the voice of accuracy; then it blatantly switches over to Patrick and he wears it throughout the film and [waves to all of the above]

-Head in my hands thinking of how the word “love” is used in these tennis matches. Also something I need to make detailed note of when I rewatch

-Patrick grabbing Art’s thigh when they first watched Tashi play… oh my GOD

-Patrick pulling Art’s stool close and Art just smoothly sitting on it with no reaction… the way they kept looking at each others' lips... oh my G O D

-I just remembered Tashi referred to the boys being known as as “fire and ice.” What the fuck even.

-Tashi going to Patrick asking him to lose the match for Art… she’s literally like, "do this because I love tennis and if I lose Art then I lose the way I live tennis through him. Do this because if he loses this match he'll lose himself." And she's really like, "Do this because I know you’re in love with both of us." And Patrick is like, "A) fuck you because you know I’ll say yes precisely because I'm in love with both of you so how dare you ask this of me, and B) you’re kidding yourself if you think you don’t miss the challenge I give YOU simply by being myself because I don’t take your shit." Something something they're peers, you know

-Tbh for 13 years when Patrick gets his rare opportunities he’s @ both Art and Tashi like “you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.” And the thing is that he’s RIGHT. He’s right! Art in particular doesn't want to admit it because he's trying to convince himself he outgrew being bisexual / outgrew Patrick but it's obviously bullshit

-Realizing some of the sounds in the soundtrack intentionally emulate the sounds of tennis balls and rackets???? MADNESS

[velvetvexations]

This is an edited version of something I posted to r/DaystromInstitute, a Star Trek sub. I'm proud of it and, having deleted my account, want to preserve it here.

Dukat is a fantastic example of Narcissitic Personality Disorder

I'm an individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It's very, extremely frustrating to see people claim everyone from Dolores Umbridge to Donald Trump also have NPD because they're like, just the worst. NPD doesn't mean "selfish", or "controlling", or even "self-absorbed", and certainly is not a synonym for abusive, despite all the self-help books that say sniping a narcissist who came within eight hundred yards of you is legally permissible under Stand Your Ground laws.

You might expect me to not be so appreciative of Dukat, who is, after all, a pretty horrible person. I actually have a worse opinion of Dukat's supposed nobility than many, as fairly often the fandom prefers to back the idea that he really was a misguided anti-villain who only succumbed to devil-worshipping when the writers assassinated his character.

Well, unfortunately, it's harder to recognize authentic NPD traits in heroes, and "recognize" is a term I use loosely, since most writers certainly didn't have NPD in mind at all. Nonetheless, I love Dukat because he exemplifies a nuanced, if not overly flattering, portrayal of a personality disorder that actual human beings deal with, and 99% of the time is just flattened into a thing you call people you don't like.

As a child, one thing that did a lot to mitigate the more negative social aspects of NPD was having it imprinted on my brain by anime and video games that being a Hero and as good as possible was the best thing to be. While praise and attention in general does scratch a powerful itch too, once my child-self internalized the values of the media I consumed - helped along by also being autistic - the standard for which I judged myself was set. I would literally cry if I accidentally picked up dark side points in a Star Wars game.

I think Dukat went through a similar process. Not all narcissists cling to a model centering morality, but Dukat, for one reason or another, did. He sincerely believes everything he does is altruistic and fair, and more than that, he wants to be altruistic and fair, having misidentified the origin of his cravings.

Another thing that helped me a lot growing up was a book called The Screwtape Letters. If you're unfamiliar, it's by CS Lewis and is presented as a series of letters from a high-ranked demon to his nephew, who works as essentially a shoulder devil attempting to guide his patient into sin and disconnection from God. I feel like Lewis would probably be annoyed with me not getting anything properly Christian out of it, but it is an amazing manual for teaching you how to examine your own thinking and subconscious impulses. It started me down a path of being very self-aware, which made it easier to navigate NPD, because I'm incapable of tolerating the flaws in my internal logic that I'm able to catch. If I may be excused for saying so, I think I do a decent job on that count, with the downside that I'm often far too hyper-critical and it results in regular anxiety.

But Dukat never learned that skill. As a result, his attempted nobility clashes with his other competing impulses, and all his actions are reinforced, rather than rejected, by his conscious, which his NPD assures him is being followed to the letter. As Lewis said:

The baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity at some point may be sated; and since he dimly knows he is doing wrong he may possibly repent. But the Inquisitor who mistakes his own cruelty and lust of power and fear for the voice of Heaven will torment us infinitely more because he torments us with the approval of his own conscience and his better impulses appear to him as temptations.

Dukat's inner struggle is fueled by the need to be a revered benefactor while also having served at the head of the bastard offspring of the Iraq War and Holocaust. His solution at the time was to make it more like the Second Boer War, the conflict that originally popularized the term "concentration camp" despite the fact that those concentration camps weren't even meant to eliminate the thousands that were killed in them.

DUKAT: So in my first official act as Prefect, I ordered all labour camp commanders to reduce their output quotas by fifty percent. Then I reorganized the camps themselves. Child labour was abolished. Medical care was improved. Food rations were increased. At the end of one month of my administration, the death rate had dropped by twenty percent. Now how did the Bajorans react to all this? On my one month anniversary they blew up an orbital dry-dock, killing over two hundred Cardassian soldiers and workers. "KIRA": We didn't want a reconciliation. We wanted to destroy you. DUKAT: So I had to order a response. But even then it was a carefully tempered one. I ordered two hundred suspected members of the Resistance rounded up and executed. Two hundred lives for two hundred lives. That's justice, not malevolence. Justice.

Throughout the episode the Kira hallucination embodies the disrespected and ingratitude he feels he gets for being "nice". Cardassian values, attitudes, and objectives came first. Dukat, however, was smart enough to understand some of what was being done to Bajor was wrong, but not quite able to tear himself away from his own identity as a Cardassian and the protagonist of the universe. That was just too much to totally upend, as would be required to fully comprehend the reality of the situation.

So he tries, in his own way. Because he wants to be a good guy, the hero, the main character, and he truly believes that he is. Unfortunately, it remains pointed solidly in the direction of his own ego. He's unable to recognize that to err is Cardassian, but repentance divine, because he's already invested in so much. His identity as a Cardassian, his own past actions, his impulsive grabs for power, and being convinced he's such a good man shields him from thinking critically because it would necessarily mean criticizing himself. Dukat can only truly appreciate that he's made mistakes when it makes him feel like he's being the bigger man willing to compromise and graciously admit fault, but he was in charge of the Occupation for twenty years. It's hard to walk back from that.

And I should know, because even understanding I'm the one at fault, it's pulling teeth to force myself through accepting I did wrong, much less admitting it to someone else. I don't want to be someone who fucked up, no matter how minor. Pulling teeth. Quite a lot of NPD can be described that way, in fact. While half-brained wannabee psychologists present narcissists as being sociopathic manipulators who skillfully terrorize those around them, most of NPD is horrible, chest-thumping anxiety. It's not fun at all to want to break my controller in half every single time I get got in a game of Splatoon, even when the round is far from over.

Most Cardassians involved with the Occupation seemed to be either outright monsters or falling under the "banality of evil", like Damar. They considered the Bajorans as, at best, a bunch of backwards hicks who needed to shut up and listen to their betters. Dukat, though, fetishized Bajor and the Bajorans themselves, as quite creepily seen in his string of Bajoran lovers and his dogged pursuit of Kira throughout the show (which horrifically took Nana Visitor putting her foot down to keep from being canon!). He pursed his tenure as head of the Occupation with the zeal of someone who truly wanted his subjects to see he was doing all this for their own good.

The Dominion and most other Cardassians don't give a fuck if your subjects like you except insofar as it's convenient and makes them less likely to rebel. That's the Dominion's whole thing, they just want control, and if the carrot doesn't work they'll shrug and without a hint of emotion give you the stick. It doesn't matter to them how they're in charge as long as they are. When Dukat makes his point about having only executed two-hundred (suspected!) members of the Resistance, the Weyoun hallucination comments:

"WEYOUN": The Dominion would never have been so generous.

It's telling that Dukat is fixated on the contrast between him and the people he allied with enough for it to show up in his breakdown. Just a little before that, Dukat says:

DUKAT: Major Kira knows full well I made every effort to heal the wounds between Cardassia and Bajor. Since the very beginning it was my intention to rectify the mistakes of the past and begin a new chapter in our relations.

Dukat is capable of saying, vaguely, abstractly, "mistakes were made", but it infuriates and honestly baffles him that it's not enough for him to be recognized as the most brilliant and loving extraterrestrial patriarch the Bajorans could ever wish for. In an earlier episode, he has this conversation with (the real) Weyoun:

WEYOUN: If you ask me, the key to holding the Federation is Earth. If there's going to be an organized resistance against us, its birthplace will be there. DUKAT: You could be right. WEYOUN: Then our first step is be to eradicate its population. It's the only way. DUKAT: You can't do that. WEYOUN: Why not? DUKAT: Because! A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place. To force them to acknowledge your greatness. WEYOUN: Then you kill them? DUKAT: Only if it's necessary. WEYOUN: I had no idea. DUKAT: Perhaps the biggest disappointment in my life is that the Bajoran people still refuse to appreciate how lucky they were to have me as their liberator. I protected them in so many ways, cared for them as if they were my own children. But to this day, is there a single statue of me on Bajor? WEYOUN: I would guess not. DUKAT: And you'd be right. Take Captain Sisko, an otherwise intelligent, perceptive man. Even he refuses to grant me the respect I deserve.

Weyoun ends the scene laughing at Dukat. Because he was just advocating they exterminate all life on Earth, and yet he's amazed, truly stunned by how crackers Dukat is. The sheer depths of Dukat's psychological need for validation is as clinically fascinating to Weyoun as it is to the audience.

As it is to me, anyway. Like Narcissus and his pool, I peer into Dukat and see myself. Unsurprisingly, he's one of my favorite characters.

[hereforthefanficsandromance]

The Way He Looks at You Series II:V

Act II: The Way You Look at Him Chapter 5: The Way You Frustrate Him

Read on AO3 Read on Blogger Read on Tumblr Story Master List: The Way He Looks at You Series

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Chapter Summary

A visit with the physician brings you and Cal closer. Rating: 18+ Words: 2.2K

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The first signs of our previous relationship are showing. Signs, I assume, she will reject. The physician is to arrive today to confirm she is fit to pursue normal activity after her injury and subsequent coma. Doubtful, she is unwell. Part of her memory is missing; she isn’t okay. 

I look forward to speaking with him to resolve this issue. If I can help bring her memory back, the need to prove myself over these next six weeks becomes unnecessary. I am prepared to win her back, but I’d rather guarantee the outcome. To know she is mine and worship her for it. 

She seems interested, physically; it is her loyalty to the Rebellion that forces her denial. Perhaps I should start physical intimacy. Touch her, kiss her hand; as I did the first time we met. She was willing then, and overcome with lust. She was in a different head space; heartbroken, and craving the attention of desire. 

The Jedi causes my blood to boil. He delivered her to me, then stole her from me. I know he isn’t dead, and I stand weak against him at the moment. Every second that passes without her love puts me at risk. 

As I cut Jogan fruit for my Light, I glance at the breakfast I made. It was the same breakfast I had previously cooked that she had enjoyed. I had been hopeful the taste would jog her memory. Unfortunate. I eat my portion in a hurry and toss the rest. 

She exits the bedroom to my relief and walks down the short hallway towards me, still wearing the unfortunate poncho from my old days. I place the fruit on the table, looking into her eyes for approval; she avoids eye contact as she sits. As she picks at the fruit, I finish cleaning the kitchen, wondering if there might be more I can do to push our relationship along. A light above the front door illuminates, alerting me of the physician’s arrival. 

“The doctor is here. I’ll be back in a few minutes for you. Eat what you can while I’m gone.” I say.

She nods once, but I hear the annoyance in her mind. I pass through our front door into the unwelcoming parlor; answering the door to my quarters. The physician, who I have not seen since finding out that my Light was unconscious, looks me over once then picks a spot on the floor to direct his gaze. 

“Thirteenth Brother. A pleasure.” 

“Please enter, Doctor Halaeon.” I say, my expression hardening instinctively.

The nervous balding man steps inside, and I gesture for him to be seated on one of the two opposing couches. I sit opposite, leaning back in my seat, one arm on the backrest, an ankle resting on my knee. 

“Thank you for coming. I apologize that Ms. Kestis fled the hospital upon waking. She was rather distraught.”

The man nods, staring at the coffee table that separates us; I take a deep breath. “I was hoping to speak with you about the reason for her distress before you see her.”

“What seems to be the issue, Inquisitor?” He asks.

“As you know, she suffered severe head trauma, and it seems there’s been a rather unfortunate side effect. One I am hopeful you may have a solution to.” 

This causes the Doctor to meet my eye, the whites of his eyes clearly visible. 

“It appears Ms. Kestis has lost a significant portion of her memory. Everything from the moment I met her to the moment she woke up in the hospital. I expect you to fix it.” 

Doctor Halaeon sits quietly for a moment before speaking, his hands clasped tightly in his lap, not daring to interrupt me. “Inquisitor, I-”

A few shallow breaths and opening and closing his mouth a few times. “I don’t know that we…that I have the power to fix something in this realm. The brain is tricky and often does things we don’t understand.”

“You are a physician, are you not? You fix people. So fix her.” I say. My patience waning. I need her to remember me, to love me again. 

His whole body trembles as he speaks. “I will assess her condition and move forward with treatment, but there is no guaranty I can fix this.” 

I uncross my legs, leaning forward before lowering my voice. “Do whatever it takes.”

He says nothing and I stand. “I’ll fetch her.”

I return through our front door and see that my Light has eaten most of the fruit and is folding the cloth napkin into various shapes that fall apart from the lack of structure. She looks like her old self for a moment, like when I saw her in the restaurant after buying her clothes that first time. I walk around the table to stand behind her; she ignores me. My hand touches down on the back of the chair. 

“Light, the physician is ready to evaluate you. Please follow me into the next room.” 

She says nothing and continues folding, her mind complaining and ranting about my being unreasonable for not wearing the clothes she picked for me. I bite back a smile at her internal fit and place my other hand on the table near her work, leaning down towards her cheek. 

“You know, if you’d like to spend more time folding, I have your folding papers from before your accident. I could get them for you.” 

She swings her head up to look at me; her face inches from my own. Once she realizes the closeness, her cheeks color, and her gaze lowers to my lips before returning to my gaze. 

“But you are required to see the physician first.” 

Her eyebrows furrow, and she returns her attention to folding the napkin. I let out a short laugh and place a kiss along her hairline. 

“You are required to see him either way, but doing so willingly will get you the papers.” 

We both freeze, both realizing what I had just done. I pull away, returning to my full height. 

“I apologize. You seemed like yourself for a moment, and I forgot the nature of our relationship.” 

I offer her my hand. “My offer still stands.” 

She considers for a moment, then rises, ignoring my outstretched hand, but allowing me to guide her towards the parlor. Doctor Halaeon stands to greet her and offers his hand to shake; which she accepts, grasping his hand in both of hers. 

She’s baiting me, and I feel the distinct need to punish her severely for her rebellion. Imagining spending hours on the couch mindlessly edging her while I read, then going to bed without allowing her release. I shake my head once and return to the conversation that began without my involvement. 

The two sit on the same couch and I return to my original seat. I stay quiet, allowing the examination to proceed and listening for any signs that her amnesia might be fixable. My Light is willing, staying in the lines of my request, likely hoping to receive her folding papers. She converses easily with the shaking physician, and he relaxes in her presence. 

I listen carefully through the questions and don’t miss when she rejects having any pregnancy symptoms. Though I’m not terribly worried at this stage, soon she won’t be able to ignore them. Soon she’ll have my child, hopefully a son, in her arms. Both of them smiling up at me each time I enter the room, both demanding my attention at all hours. Perhaps her belly round for a second time with a second child, third child, I suppose.

There is the Jedi’s child that I must unfortunately claim as my own. Everyone is expecting two children, two of my children, not one of mine and the child of a Jedi. There would be an uproar, the child publicly killed, and my Light taken from me for information. Something I would never allow to happen; I would sooner take her to the furthest reaches of the galaxy for safety. Perhaps his child won’t survive the pregnancy, perhaps my son will best his in the womb. 

“What are the odds of both children surviving?” I ask, interrupting their discussion. 

The physician turns to face me. 

“Ms. Kestis appears in good health despite the head injury, so it is safe to assume both children will arrive healthy and safe.”

I nod, disappointed, and they continue their conversation about pregnancy and what to expect. The doctor asks a long series of questions regarding her memory. She dodges the specifics of what she remembers to avoid aligning with the Rebellion, but says she clearly remembers that day. 

He conducts a long series of response test to determine the results of the head injury. He pulls out a needle to draw blood to run additional tests for the pregnancy. I stay mostly calm but my hand reaches for my lightsaber when he misses her vein and has to try again. 

“I apologize. Usually my nursing staff does this portion.” He says.

“It’s okay, you’re doing great.” My Light says. 

She shoots me a warning look, not missing my hand on my lightsaber. I attempt to relax into the seat and glare at the man. He is successful the second time and collects what he needs. As the appointment wraps up, the physician prescribes medication for the pregnancy, which I will send for immediately. 

“I’d like to see her back at the hospital for cognitive testing when you are able. There is only so much I can do out of the office.” Doctor Halaeon says. 

“I will arrange something soon.” 

We exchange pleasantries and the room falls silent as the door closes. I sigh, rolling my tense shoulders up to my ears before dropping them. 

“That went well-” 

“You could have been nicer.” She says. 

I whip around, seeing her arms crossed and glaring at me. “He could have done his job better.” 

“You brought him out here with no additional staff. The poor guy was terrified!” 

“He seemed awfully at ease in your presence.” 

“Are you seriously jealous of me being kind to him after seeing his fear of you?” She says. “I had to work to offset the damage you were doing.” 

“Was that all it was, Light? You were being nice to put him at ease? Not that you had just rejected my hand moments before taking his so easily.” My voice raises a fraction. 

I feel fiery anger in my chest, frustrated by her outburst, furious that she touches others in my presence and I can do nothing to stop it. Anything I do to assert my power will push her further from my reach. She smirks, and I hear in her mind how pleased she is with herself. 

“That’s not my name! My name is-”

I close the distance between us in two steps; she tries to back away, eyes wide, but I catch her shoulders, holding her in place. “Ah, but it is your name, because I have elected to call you by it. Unless you’d prefer Mrs. Kestis.” 

It’s my turn to smirk and her mouth falls open stupidly, struggling to reconcile with being so close to me. I loosen my grip, but not so much that she may escape it. 

“You were a good girl during your appointment, despite your rebellion towards me. You did what I asked and cooperated with the Doctor, so I will give you back your folding papers.” I say.

She looks up into my eyes, her face turning red, her mind repeating things about “good girl” and how I look when I am being stern. So I become more stern, darkening my expression, leaning in, and lowering my voice. 

“You understand that while I love you, I loathe your behavior towards me. You will not reject my touch in place of another. No touch is required when offered, but touch no one else after. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, Cal.” She says, keeping my gaze, pupils dilating.

I release one hand to brush the hair off her face, allowing my touch to graze her ear and travel down to tilt her chin upward. She sucks in a breath, holding it, awaiting my next careful move. I want to kiss her, to push forward with intimacy. But she must ask to be kissed. She must ask for each part of our old relationship. It’s too delicate to risk any missteps. 

“So good.” I muse. 

She swallows and glances at my lips again; her thoughts equal parts hoping I’ll kiss her and scolding herself for the thoughts. I lean in more, lingering until her thoughts believe I will kiss her in this moment, parting my own lips and having a long look at hers. I move with haste; closing the distance, she tilts her head to provide better access, ready to accept me. But I don’t move towards her mouth, but past it, to her ear, leaving her wanting. 

“Good girl.” I whisper. “I have a meeting soon. Let’s get you those folding papers to keep you busy while I’m preoccupied.”

I let her linger against me for a moment, her heart pounding so loud that I can hear it. She exhales out the breath she was holding and nods. I love my actions disappointed her; I love that she now needs me, that she had her hopes up to feel my kiss. Once she is ready, I guide her back into our home. 

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Need to Rant with Others Who Have Read This Story?

Join My Discord It's free! Members get updates, sneak peaks, bonus content, events, and countdowns to new chapters. We'd love to have you, even if you just lurk!

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Love/Like/Hate What You Read?

Comment (please!) on AO3 or Blogger Anonymous/Comment/Message/Reblog on Tumblr Compliments feed me Constructive Criticism improves me

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Next Chapter: Coming Soon

Update 02/01/24 •There is lots more content coming soon. •I am taking a few weeks to get my thoughts in order to ensure all four Acts of this story are cohesive and enjoyable. •I am assuming this will take a minimum of four weeks (possibly longer).

What Are You Doing? •Outlining the entire story and solidifying each character and their goals (and much more). •Thoroughly editing all currently posted chapters and adding small bits of new material (nothing huge story line will be changed.) •Plus a secret project that you will never see an announcement for, but maybe if you're lucky, you'll stumble across it in a few weeks. (This message will be deleted by the time it's live)

What Else Can I Read? •I am regularly posting mini series and one shot stories (all Cal centric) •I am also posting Daily Cal Headcanons on my Tumblr

How Can I Help? •Comment/Like/Share/Reblog anything you can to let me know you are still excited about this story and want to see more. •Become an editor/beta reader. Reach out using contact info at the bottom of the post (editor/beta reader link) if interested. I am needing a small team who is interested in helping this, an other, stories grow in a really positive way. I need to know where things feels slow, what does and doesn't work with the plot and characters. (I will remove this portion once I am past the point of return with editing/outlining.)

[eirenical]

9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better:

Tagged by @merinnan. Thanks! ^_^

3 Ships You Like: FeiHua, PingXie, Yan Dan X Ying Yuan x Yu Mo (started an Immortal Samsara rewatch last night, so sue me. At least I know @slangerogkatter will appreciate that one ;D)

First Ship Ever: ...I have distinct memories of constantly telling @tirrasae when we were in high school that "Captain Kirk and Uhura should get marriiiiiied." But I'm honestly not sure if that was 1) even genuinely a ship and 2) if it was, if it was my first one. I'm pretty sure it wasn't. XD

Last Song You Heard: (Side note: very much approve of your listening choices, merrinan ^_^) Also uh... it was probably whatever my last morning alarm was, which means it was something from the MLCB OST. Probably... 一壶莲花醉 by Hu Xia. ^_^

Oh, also whatever the Hangzhou City background music is on the DMBJ game that's been playing nonstop because I have the game open on my phone next to me. XD

Favourite Childhood Book: I'm not sure what really counts as "childhood" for the purposes of this question, but probably the answer either way is Snow Dog by Jim Kjelgaard. I was OBSESSED with that book for a decent chunk of elementary school. Misty of Chincoteague by Marguerite Henry was was up there, too.

Currently Reading: NOTHING REALLY. Everything I started reading I Have since stalled out on. I was able to read again for like... TWO WEEKS and then the ability to focus on reading left me again. *sobs aggressively* But if it ever returns, the books I was in the middle of when I stalled where Into the West by Mercedes Lackey and The King's Avatar/QZGS (全职高手) by Butterfly Blue (蝴碟蓝).

Currently watching: AHAHAHA. I'm watching too many things and almost all of them are rewatches. Nothing new. Things I'm rewatching with watchalong friends: The King's Avatar with @buriedbybooks and @thearchivisttheprime), Mysterious Lotus Casebook with @elenothar, South Wind Knows with @kalypartemis. Things I'm rewatching on my own: Immortal Samsara and I just finished up Leverage and and moving on to Leverage Redemption. Also just recently finished rewatching all of The West Wing. ^_^

Currently consuming: Nothing at the moment but my tummy is a-grumbling, so maybe I should fix that. XD To anyone following my MCAS saga, though, I am happy to report that most of my sense of taste has finally returned from the war! So that's exciting. ;D

Currently craving: A break <-- ...omg, merinnan that is such a mood. TT^TT But also these curry puffs with cucumber salad that the Thai place in town used to serve. Unfortunately, they're closed and will never serve them again. TT^TT

Tagging: if you've been tagged in this post, consider yourself tagged to do it ^_^, also if you just see this post and want to do it, please feel free ^_^, and specifically: @bbcphile, @difeisheng, @fixaidea, @takethewatch, @adorablecrab, @sephstones, @doh-rae-me, @ anyone who I'm forgetting because my brain just went splat. XD

[lorelaimasters]

(  lizeth selene.  gender fluid.  she/her.  )  did  you  hear  ?  LORELAI "ELLIE" MASTERS  is  stuck  in  stonehaven  for  the  for  the  foreseeable  future  …  they've  lived  here  for  ALL THEIR LIFE  and  are  known  around  town  as  THE  PROMISCUOUS,  though  back  in  high  school  they  were  better  known  for  being  voted  MOST LIKELY TO MARRY RICH.  if  i'm  not  mistaken,  they’re  a  TWENTY FOUR  year  old  grade  studying  MECHANICAL ENGINEERING  (  i  really  hope  that  translates  well  into  their  role  as  a/an  ENGINEER  in  the  ‘new  world'  ).  according  to  my  records  they  were  originally  on  the  trip  because  she had a scheduled hook up in town and figured it would be a good excuse to get out there  —  which  checks  out,  given  they’re  EXTROVERTED,  KNOWLEDGABLE  and  SELF SERVING.  if  you’re  ever  trying  to  find  them,  your  best  bet  is  to  start  at  WHEATON'S AUTO REPAIR  and  listen  for  someone  humming  GLITTER AND VIOLENCE  by  nessa barrett.  oh,  and  don’t  forget  to  try  calling  out  ellie  or  picturing  A CRUSHED PACK OF MARLBOROS, GLITTER CAKED SKIN FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE, THUNDER STORMS, CHERRY LIPGLOSS, AND SCRAPED KNEES  for  extra  help.  let's  hope  the  chaos  doesn't  get  to  them  …  (em.  23.  she/her.  est.  none. )

S U M M A R Y

name: lorelai margaret masters

nickname: ellie

age: 24

birthday: october 28th

height: 5'8"

sexuality: pansexual

positives: extroverted, knowledgeable, charismatic, intuitive, driven

negatives: self serving, manipulative, stubborn, secretive, hot headed

O P E N T H E B O O K

mechanic dad and real estate agent mom, lorelai masters was set up for success from birth. with an older brother and younger sister she was socialized and confident in herself at a very young age. the masters family have been in stonehaven for generations, the roots ran deep and lorelai felt that growing up. like any small town everyone knew each other and watched little ones grow up and fly the coup. her parents always taught her to love who she was, and she did. she loved horseback riding at the stables and going to the roller rink on the weekends with her sibling's. she didn't pay much attention to her looks when she was young cause why would that matter? but when she got to highschool and dating was introduced further than just school yard crushes lorelai got a bit insecure. so lorelai became ellie and the boys really liked ellie so that's who she continued to be. it was a new type of validation she didn't think she needed until her first taste of it.

for the most part the only thing that changed about ellie was her looks and the name but something in her behavior changed too. she had always been charismatic, the type of person that drew you in, but she found herself craving that validation from people more and more. charisma doesn't work on everyone unfortunately so along with the charisma ellie grew manipulative in her tactics to get people in bed. regrettably this need for everyone's approval that she was hot enough really hurt her chances of forming lasting romantic relationships. her brain would twist it from "they like how i look and that's enough" to "i still need other people to see me that way too".

going to college only drove that need and she fell into the party scene. now at first it was hard balancing school and social life because ellie was majoring in mechanical engineering to follow after her father and the workload was intense. but with the help of energy drinks and some less legal aids, the brunette may as well have been hannah montana the way she was leading a double life. partying and meaningless hookups at night and her nose in the books during the day. one of those meaningless hookups is what got her on the trip in the first place, it's not like they were doing shelter work 24/7 and besides; sleep is for the weak.

F O O T N O T E S

ellie lived a bit of a rockstar life before they got back. partying until the morning, backstage at concerts out of town. very much work all day, stay up all night. surviving off of cigarettes and energy drinks to maintain her gpa while also living her best life.

other than the auto shop she frequents the stables since she grew up riding, hot girl horse girl crossover.

had a black cat named skull crusher but who knows where little homie went when the town disappeared.

S I D E C H A R A C T E R S

partner in crime: these two are thick as thieves, they enable each others bad decisions and would defend each other until the end of the earth.

childhood friend: someone who was there for the lorelai to ellie pipeline and either supported it or judges her for it. could definitely has some angst with this if we go with the latter rather than the former.

the one that got away: someone ellie loves so deeply but it is scared of actually being exclusive in case it makes her less desirable to everyone else. she pushed them away but it haunts her every day because they fully could have been the one.

the one she hurt: they fell victim to ellie's smash and dash. someone who ellie had to use manipulation since her natural charm had seemingly zero effect on them and she made them think she really liked them which only made it hurt more.

antagonized: ellie can be a lot to handle so someone who just finds her overwhelming and maybe even annoying to be around. with her need for validation this just makes her want to be around them even more to prove herself.

confidant: someone who ellie opens her heart to, likely been close friends for a while now and she feels like she can just pour everything out of her to them.

immue: someone who is completely unfazed by ellie's flirty nature which drives her absolutely insane and she's too stubborn to just let it go.

more:

party friends

hookups

school friends

[sandwichmustbetasty]

pls help a fellow Alistair romancer

AUUUAAAUUWAHHHH

As always struggling with timelines and quests order in DAO, jesus chrisssstttt.

My autistic brain just can't work properly when I don't have everything planned out and jut when I thought I finally had it, turns out I actually don't.

The problem is the first quest after Lothering.

My first playthrough I did Brecillian Forest first because I was so very lost as what to do and followed the logic that Loghains people won't be looking for us in the forest and on the way to Denerim.

Which seems logical enough until you remember that you literally leave Alistair's (shitty) father figure in his dying state without even visiting once.

Kind of not so great move romance-wise (speaking obviously only about potential fanfic timelines since it doesn't matter in the game).

So obviously the most logical would then be Redcliff, Brecillian Forest, minor quests in Denerim, Soldier's peak, Circle Tower and Orzammar (the logic covers only potential distances not whether it's actually good playthrough wise like collecting companions and such).

BUT

BUT

BUT

But doing Redcliff quest first would mean that sacrificing Isolde wouldn't have so much impact on the romance.

I mean you sure do lose the approval, but I mean timeline wise. They've only known each other a couple of weeks then, possibly not even a month. So it would rather mean that there are less chances of romanticak involvement not that they literally have their hearts crushed in the argument that follows (I have such a good idea for a fic it's making me physically unwell)

Doing Brecillian Forest first would mean that it's considerably longer time and more time for the rose thing, some heart to heart conversations and such.

I am trying to write an immersive fanfiction and it's so damn hard to connect everything into logical thingy.

And yeah, I suppose I could do without it but timelines are my thing. I love them and crave them carnally. And this one just doesn't add up unfortunately :c

pls help a fellow Alistair romancer.

[healthis-everything]

Honest Revival Tonic Review: Does It Help You Lose Weight?

Click Here To Visit Official Website

Unfortunately, there’s one obstacle to overcome for many people, and that’s losing weight.

Being overweight, with too much fat in the wrong places, can destroy body image, energy, confidence, etc.

That’s why I’m constantly on the hunt to find the best ways to lose weight fast and efficiently.

Some background: I’ve been lifting weights for nearly seven years, and I love to learn about working out, dieting, the body and brain, and (trying out) supplements that improve my quality of life. My passion is sharing what I learn and helping others become more knowledgeable to enhance their quality of life.

In this article, I’ll discuss Revival Tonic, a supplement to speed up weight loss and improve well-being and health.

Instead of the usual pills, it comes in convenient liquid drops that increase the absorption of the ingredients and make it work faster.

Fat burners can make dieting (a lot) more manageable, but they’ll never be a substitute for a caloric deficit, sleep, or an exercise routine.

After this review, you’ll know precisely what Revival Tonic is and if you should try it out yourself.

I’ll review Revival Tonic in the following order:

What is Revival Tonic? The practical information An explanation of all the ingredients (are they worth it?) Safety and possible side-effects A price-to-quality assessment Experiences with Revival Tonic My opinion if Revival Tonic is worth it A Q&A of popular questions Sit back, open your mind, and let’s find out if Revival Tonic is next on your supplement list.

Revival Tonic $49.00 Revival Tonic Overall Rating: Awesome Boost Metabolism & Fat Burn Prevent New Fat Cells Less Hungry & Full Faster Support Health & Well-Being Buy Now

It’s taken in liquid drop form that you mix with water or put in your mouth and swallow. Because it’s liquid, the ingredients are better absorbed and work faster.

Revival Tonic makes the body more efficient at using food as energy, breaking down fat stores, boosting metabolism, and eliminating cravings.

Practical Information about Revival Tonic Content: Every bottle contains 60 ml or 2 FL oz., each filled with many all-natural ingredients.

Recommended serving size: 7 drops three times daily before your meals. You can mix it with water or swallow it directly. They recommend trying Revival Tonic for at least 90–180 days for optimal results.

Supply duration: At the recommended dose, a bottle lasts around 30-days, but it depends on how often you prefer to use it.

Promises:

Burn unwanted body fat. Stimulate metabolism to increase calories burned. Prevent new fat from storing. Reduce hunger, increase satiety, and eliminate cravings. Feel energized physically and mentally. Improve mood and well-being Boost the immune system and overall health. 60-Day, no questions asked, money-back guarantee (on their website). 100% natural, no fillers/ preservatives/ artificial colors/ stimulants/ toxins. No tolerance, side effects, or habit forming. Manufactured: in the USA in an FDA-approved and GMP-certified facility.

Where to buy it: Revival Tonic can be purchased directly at their website since they have a 100% money-back guarantee.

Ingredient list of Revival Tonic explained Click on the pic to check it out. The ingredients in Revival Tonic Explained The ingredients in Revival Tonic fall under their “proprietary blend.” This means that the exact quantities of individual components aren’t known.

There are 9 ingredients, and I’ll explain each in detail below:

100% Aloe Vera Aloe is a cactus found in hot, dry, subtropical places. As a dietary supplement, it has many benefits.

It’s a powerful antioxidant and has antibacterial properties, which means it helps fight off free radicals and diseases. It’s also good against constipation, for healthy skin, lowers blood pressure, anti-aging, etc.

It may benefit weight loss by boosting metabolism, which means you burn extra calories.

Raspberry Ketone Raspberry ketones are a natural substance found in red raspberries and other fruits. It gives raspberries a strong aroma.

They may speed up the metabolism, increase the speed at which the body burns fat, and reduce hunger.

African Mango (Irvingia Gabonensis) The Irvingia Gabonensis, also called African Mango, comes from a tree found in West Africa.

Research has found that it may reduce fat cell growth and helps in the breakdown of fats.

Besides directly aiding in fat loss, it may also reduce hunger and have other health benefits.

Acai Berry Extract Acai Berry is a superfruit from acai palm trees and originates from America. They’re incredibly high in antioxidants, which protect the body from free radicals.

Acai berries are very healthy and may benefit health in the following ways: lowering blood sugar and pressure, a healthy immune system, reducing swelling, helping in digestion, anti-aging, boosting cognitive function (memory, thinking, etc.), etc.

It may benefit weight loss by increasing the metabolism, which means the body burns more calories and helps the body burn fat.

Green Tea Extract Green Tea Extract contains a mix of polyphenols and flavonoids and doesn’t contain caffeine like drinking green tea.

Most of the benefits come from the EGCG (epigallocatechin-3-gallate) content, which is beneficial for many things inside our bodies.

Its use in a fat burner is the ability to improve metabolic function, which means more fat loss.

Other benefits include anti-aging, diseases, heart health, increasing insulin sensitivity, etc.

Resveratol Resveratrol is a polyphenol most commonly found in red grapes but also in other grapes, berries, fruits, and nuts.

It acts like a potent anti-oxidant, which protects our bodies from free radicals that can harm us.

As a dietary supplement, studies show that Resveratrol may significantly speed up weight loss (especially in obese people) and reduce weight/ BMI/ fat mass by:

Increasing metabolism through increasing energy expenditure Regulating estrogen (suppressing), which stimulates an increase in muscle mass and lower body fat levels Increase glucose absorption from food into the muscles, which means fewer will go into fat cells. Stimulate the breakdown of fat stores, and inhibit new fat cells from forming. Stimulate AMPK, or AMP-activated protein kinase, which further boosts metabolism, increases energy, increases the breakdown of fat, promotes longevity, etc. Reduce cortisol by blocking an enzyme in the brain that controls stress levels. Resveratrol may have many other health benefits worth mentioning:

Help lower high blood pressure Increase insulin sensitivity Act as an anti-inflammatory Lower stress & anxiety Support healthy cholesterol levels Promote longevity/ anti-aging properties Protecting the brain from cognitive decline Reduce joint pain (from arthritis) Reduce cancer cells/ protect against diseases Caffeine Anhydrous Caffeine anhydrous is extracted from the seed and leaves of coffee plants.

“Anhydrous” means that it contains no water. It’s a highly concentrated caffeine powder, the same as caffeine in coffee.

Caffeine provides energy, alertness, focus, etc.

Apple Cider Vinegar (powder) Apple Cider Vinegar combines apple cider, yeast, and sugar. It contains plenty of healthy substances that benefit our bodies in various ways.

Apple Cider may be anti-bacterial, lower blood sugar (great for diabetes), support a healthy heart, promote skin health, etc.

It’s exciting for weight loss because it may increase fat burn and reduce appetite.

Kelp Kelp is a type of seaweed that’s large and brown. It has many nutrients, like antioxidants (like carotenoids and flavonoids) and vitamins, that are very beneficial for our health.

It may help fight off diseases and free radicals, support healthy bones and thyroids function, regulate blood sugar, help against diabetes, etc.

It may be beneficial for weight loss because it might block fat absorption in the gut.

Benefits of Revival Tonic Click on the pic to check it out. Expected benefits of Revival Tonic Based on the ingredients, you may get the following benefits from taking Revival Tonic:

Break down fat stores easier. Inhibit new fat cells from forming. Boost daily calories burned (metabolism). Increase insulin sensitivity and support healthy blood sugar/ pressure. Decrease hunger and eliminate (late night) cravings. More (mental) energy to be more productive and active. Better sense of general well-being. Feeling less anxiety and stress. Contributes to a healthy immune system (antioxidants, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory) Various health benefits inside our bodies. Note: a fat burner is an excellent addition to a healthy lifestyle and, ideally, an exercise routine. No fat burner will magically make you lose fat.

Safety and side effects of Revival Tonic Safety and side effects of Revival Tonic The ingredients in Revival Tonic should be safe and well tolerated by healthy adults while sticking to the recommended dosage.

Many fat burners have caffeine, other stimulants, and ingredients that stimulate noradrenaline (a neurotransmitter in the brain that gives an adrenaline reaction). This often comes with side effects like increased heart rate, headaches, nausea, etc.

Contrary to most fat burners, Revival Tonic is unlikely to cause any side effects. It contains natural ingredients and only a minimal amount of caffeine anhydrous.

It’s easy to have mismatched expectations when starting with Revival Tonic or any other fat burner.

It might look like a magic solution to effortlessly losing a bunch of fat overnight. However, no fat burner has this kind of power.

You still need to eat in a caloric deficit and optimally be active.

People with a positive experience that look and feel the best they’ve ever done understand this all too well.

Revival Tonic helps them speed up fat loss significantly in these cases.

It boosts their metabolism, makes their body more efficient at breaking down fat, and reduces hunger.

Essentially, they burn more calories and eat fewer calories, which makes the difference (and fat loss) more significant.

I want to be entirely honest, so you understand weight loss will take time and effort either way.

Revival Tonic can help tremendously, but results will still depend on your lifestyle.

Revival Tonic recommends at least 90–180 days because that’s long enough to make a real, long-lasting difference in body composition.

Price of Revival Tonic Click on the pic to check it out. Price of Revival Tonic The price of Revival Tonic depends on how many bottles you buy at once.

Revival Tonic is priced at:

‍$69 for one bottle. $59 per bottle for a three-bottle package. $49 per bottle for a six-bottle package. This would make the daily price $2.30, $1.97, or $1.67.

Fat burners often range between $0.60-$2.50 per dose, with many in that $1-$2 range (based on many reviews).

Revival Tonic is expensive for a single bottle but falls into the range for larger packages. I believe it’s justified for the many beneficial ingredients.

Revival Tonic $49.00 Revival Tonic Overall Rating: Awesome Boost Metabolism & Fat Burn Prevent New Fat Cells Less Hungry & Full Faster Support Health & Well-Being Buy Now We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase at no additional cost to you. Verdict of Revival Tonic: Awesome Click on the pic to check it out. Is Revival Tonic worth it or not? After carefully analyzing the ingredients, I believe that Revival Tonic can make a real, lasting difference in becoming the fittest and most energetic version of yourself.

I like that it’s not merely a fat burner; the ingredients support health in various ways.

Revival Tonic speeds up weight loss by increasing metabolism, making the body more efficient at processing food, burning fat, preventing fat storage, increasing fullness, and eliminating cravings.

Besides weight loss, the ingredients may have numerous other benefits, from increasing energy and well-being to supporting a healthy immune system and protecting from certain diseases.

Because of the all-natural ingredients, side effects are implausible, contrary to most fat burners.

It’s produced in the USA, and I respect the confidence in their product to offer a 60-day money-back guarantee.

If you want to be in the best physical and mental shape of your life, I recommend trying Revival Tonic. Combined with a caloric deficit, it can make an incredible difference in your results and well-being.

You can find Revival Tonic discounted on their official website here.

FAQ Does Revival Tonic work? Revival Tonic can make you lose weight faster because it helps you in two ways.

Firstly, it helps you feel full and eliminate cravings, which reduces the calories you consume.

Secondly, it speeds up the metabolism and helps to break down fat, which increases the calories you burn.

This can make a substantial difference.

How to use Revival Tonic? Revival Tonic is used as liquid drops that quickly dissolve in any liquid and are entirely tasteless.

Their recommended dosage is 7 drops three times a day before each meal.

What are the ingredients in Revival Tonic? Revival Tonic contains the following ingredients:

Where is Revival Tonic manufactured? Revival Tonic is manufactured in the USA in an FDA-approved and GMP-certified facility.

Is Revival Tonic good for diabetes? The all-natural ingredients in Revival Tonic make it an excellent fat burner for people with diabetes.

Does Revival Tonic break a fast? The liquid drops of Revival Tonic will not break a fast.

How much does Revival Tonic cost? The price of Revival Tonic depends on the number of bottles you buy. It costs $49 for one, $39 each for three, and $31 each for six.

Where to buy Revival Tonic? You can buy Revival Tonic easily on the official Revival Tonic website.

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

@trenchcoatmimic said:

Denial~

excuse me? did I stutter? let me repeat in case you didn’t hear me

oh no

"It's not like I'm into him, sometimes you just have a friend or acquaintance and that's fine but if they wanted to kiss you (and also were on the same continent and there wasn't a pandemic) that would be neat and you could probably do that a lot, y'know, if they wanted to and maybe you kinda wanna... oh no"

[phoenixyfriend]

Thoughts on “Auntie Soka and Little Leia” now that I’ve actually got it posted:

Call it a director’s cut! The process of actually writing the thing, and also jokes made along the way. Link to the actual fic.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy for image descriptions, even the text screenshots. Might come back that later. Most of this was DMs with @atagotiak​.

This was an entire thing before I even started writing:

Before I decided on ages and stuff Ahsoka, to Jango, who has had zero contact with Kaminoans: Okay I know I'm a Jedi kid so you hate me but this toddler is your clone from the future. Jango, tired: What the FUCK are you talking about. Rex, barely able to talk: Don't you dare leave me with him, Commander! Ahsoka: I'm not going to leave you I just--I'm so tired I'm so fucking tired I haven't slept in five days and someone tried to kidnap Leia two days ago I am so fucking tired I need help

Ben: [twenty years of depression followed by a 'now I'm safe' breakdown over the course of weeks] Sokari: [whatever the FUCK this mess is]

When Ahsoka mentions there only being three other Jedi at the time of her death,  I was thinking Kanan, Yoda, and Obi-Wan (Leia told her about the latter two living past her). She's not counting anyone that received training after the Temple fell, and she didn’t know about Cal.

When Leia says  “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”

Depa: I'm no therapist but I diagnose you with "incredibly fucked up." Ahsoka: yeah, that’s fair

"Why did you pick Depa for--" She's pretty and I'm gay. Also because of the Kanan thing But mostly I'm gay "It's not a visual medi--" GAY

Empty of context beyond general post-fic AU: "Hey Sokari, we need to engage in psychological warfare against this individual and--" "I'm going to break into his office and leave a threatening note on his desk and leave no other sign that I was there. He'll see that his security is nothing and the only reason he isn't dead is because I'm too nice to kill him." "...okay, not what we were planning, but that works. Why is that your first choice?" "I really like breaking and entering, it's soothing." Ben just standing there with a bland smile like This Is Normal.

"We need someone to infiltrate a highly guarded facility in hostile territory." "So we're sending the Torrent kids?" [sigh] "We're sending the Torrent kids."

Rex and Sokari insist on both going by "Torrent" even though Rex could be a Fett. Jango really wants him to be a Fett. Rex has too many grudges to agree to being a Fett for... a while.

I really hope it's blatantly obvious that Ahsoka's not a reliable narrator for some things Ahsoka: Fett could care less if I died Jango: jfc even if you are older than me I can see you're fucked up. Drink your hot chocolate. Hells. She's got good reason to expect him to hate her as a Jedi! BUT. THAT IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF REALITY

We don’t get a lot of actual characterization for Jango, but the way I played him out here is he has never really parsed that Jedi are people before all this. It's a lot harder to treat them as a monolith when the traumatized former child soldier is having regular breakdowns in your shitty little kitchen

Fett: I respect you Ahsoka: No, don't do that

Ahsoka’s vigilantism is something that, in my mind, she's associating heavily with Zygerria and then the clones.

I figured that she never bothered to learn Quinlan’s teacher’s name but in the process of looking up some basic facts (whether he had a surname), I found that Wookiepedia was forced to give us a VERY wide range of possible death in Legends.

Please take a moment to imagine Quinlan's FACE when Ahsoka initially dismisses him. Quinlan has put a lot of effort into being rogueishly charming! It's very useful for his line of work! He knows to expect either irritation or a return flirtation when he acts like this with people his own age! Ahsoka is not flustered OR rolling her eyes and insulting him, she's just ignoring him and it's a bit of a blow to the ego

This just makes me really happy:

This was the initial comment I made, as a joke What if Maul is just. There. On one of the planets they make a pitstop at. What if Maul exists as the walking problem he is, but fifteen, and Ahsoka immediately tries to kick his ass and drag him back to Coruscant. I do not have room for this plot but What If

Despite not having room for this plot, I proceeded to write this plot.

Maul is kidnapped and it’s the best thing that ever happened to him HE'S FIFTEEN HE'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND YEAH HE'S A DARKSIDER BUT HE'S FIFTEEN

Ahsoka: I sense... Maul [takes off sprinting] Rex: [immediately takes Jango's blaster and runs after her] Jango: Wait who Tholme: Who Quinlan: Who Jango: [looks at Leia] Leia: I don't know who that is either! Ahsoka, already wrestling a teenager to the ground: Oh no, you're a child, REX STUN HIM AND GRAB THE CUFFS, I'M SURE FETT OR THOLME HAS SOME

Fighting him isn't even legal, they have NO evidence of criminal wrongdoing, so first she needs to yell until he admits to something she can fight him about

Ahsoka: When I see Maul, it's on SIGHT Maul: WHO ARE YOU

Ahsoka: The Force didn't give me hands just to NOT throw them when I run into That Crafty Son Of A Bitch

Ben, when they arrive, after the tearful reunion: You... you brought Maul. Ahsoka: Well, yeah, he's fifteen and kinda dumb. I figured we could drag him here and force him into therapy, see what happens. Ben: I can't quite tell through the gag, but I think he's threatening to feed you your own spleen. Ahsoka: Lol, yeah.

Ben is absolutely on team "get Maul therapy" and will fight the Council on rehabilitating the baby Sith But also it's like. Here's your daughter! And your niece! And your daughter's QPP! Also your best friend, but baby, and his teacher, and the biological origin of a number of people you cared for deeply! AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SPENT LITERAL DECADES CRAVING YOUR DEATH, FOR SOME REASON

I just really want Ahsoka lovingly bullying Maul She gives him noogies and the horns don't protect him because girl has reinforced gloves

Maul's only allowed a low-power training saber and his fights with Sokari involve Much Taunting by her and Eventual Screaming by him, and everyone pops by to see: 1. Sokari doing the most absurd flips, for fun. 2. The bullshit that is ataru-shien reverse-grip jar'kai in the hands of someone who makes it work 3. What a Sith lightsaber form looks like 4. Just the general nonsense that is the way these two fight

Tia said “Wrt ridiculous flips. I'm remembering that time she beheaded four Kryst'ad at once.” and I just Rex brings up the quadruple beheading at one point to get someone to stop asking questions and the awkward, horrified silence almost makes him regret it. And then Sokari just snorts and makes a joke about how Rex once speared a slaver point-blank and everyone's just like hello??? "are you two okay" "no"

Maul absolutely starts crushing on Sokari after a 'sword under chin' moment and she's just very "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you're fifteen, bye" GO MAKE PUPPY EYES AT OBI-WAN OR SOMETHING

The crushes are the worst part of everything, really, she's an attractive young woman that can kick a lot of ass, and a lot of people are into that! Unfortunately, most of those people are a decade younger than she is, mentally, because all the people her actual age look at her and see a child on account of the 17yo body.

It’s almost a good thing she’s in no place mentally for a relationship.

I just want Ahsoka to wear beskar.... I think that would be Nice........

This AU is also what caused this post.

I'm deeply enamored by the idea that Ahsoka can win fights against "older" padawans pretty much unilaterally, even when they team up 2v1 And then she offers to fight 5v1 "But only if I have permission to fight dirty." Ben approves it, a horror show full of "I fought many wars and will scream in your face or kick you in the balls if that's what it takes" follows She wins. There are no permanent injuries, but her reputation certainly gets weirder. Nobody under the rank of Knight agrees to let her fight dirty again. She just lets that stand because, well, she's not actually a padawan, she's thirty-three.

I’m not going to write this but my brain was EVIL and suggested it:

IT WOULD BE REALLY SAD IDK maybe 9yo Anakin has nightmares about what's happening to baby Ahsoka because bullshit about time-traveling force bonds IDK ANYWAY he cries to Sokari about the nightmares and she's like "oh shit" and it's time to go rescue herself from motherfucker unlimited

It's either that or she's like, expecting to welcome mini-me aaaany day now, for like, several months, before she realizes Something Went Wrong. Anakin’s dreams could even start right as she’s starting to realize something’s off.

Obi-Wan has never had a padawan that doesn't at some point bite Even Luke will, when pushed

OH also once the twins get Baby's First Lightsaber (training sabers, not real kyber), Sokari begs to borrow them for a dumb joke and tells Rex to get on her shoulders for a "Grievous Greeting" and they do The Thing

Jango and Ahsoka wrt Quinlan is just “Do I need to beat him up for you” “You realize I’ve beaten up sith lords before?”

JANGO'S TRYING He's just. "Can we be friends? Can I--can I be the guy that just noticeably gets in the way of a creep on the subway so you can be more comfortable without someone making a scene? I'm fucking trying here, give me a hint."

We didn’t actually figure out Jango’s age until this point. The only reason Fett's age matters is for Quinlan making a Wild Oats quip after Jango says he didn't know about Rex until a few weeks ago, and Fett going "How old do you think I am? And how old do you think the kid is?" and Quinlan getting Very Awkward as he does the math. Rex overhears and lets Quinlan sweat for a bit before saying "I'm a genetically-modified clone someone grew in a tube, he didn't know or have reason to know until he saw me with Sokari." Which is like. Eight additional layers of WTF, obviously, but at least Jango gets to avoid awkward wild oats jokes

Like, you’d expect the rebuttal to be ‘he’s my brother just with a biiig age gap’ or ‘he’s my nephew’

I find it very unfortunate for Quinlan that I've decided his defining characteristic in this context is going to be repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth

He’s trying so hard but "That sounds like a cool thing, maybe I'll ask ab--and it's another fucking trauma."

I'm doing Ahsoka&Jango t w i c e (there’s another fic where I’m doing it)

It’s just a fun dynamic! So much resentful respect.

Like she's twenty seconds away from calling him a bitch at any given time and he's just there like "I don't like you but I do see you move like you're about to tell an entire building to get on their knees with their hands in the air and I can respect that" Also she's probably much less judgmental about using blasters than Obi-Wan is The Maul subplot actually started with me daydreaming about Ahsoka grabbing a blaster for Reasons

I like the idea of Jango just deciding the most Useful thing he can do is help teach the Smol how to fight. He's AWKWARD around Rex and Soka because he doesn't know if there's anything he CAN teach them.

I didn’t actually plan for Tholme to figure out the age thing, he just SAID it and I had to sit there like Wait.

Ahsoka, Rex & Leia: ahhh, children Tholme: you say that like you aren’t children

I liked getting to write Rex's little "I have worked with all of them, and they're all Terrible" He loves them But They once got stranded on a planet that didn’t exist and Ahsoka died and Anakin killed a god.

There was research and discussion as to whether Ahsoka could win against Tholme but seeing as she held her own against Vader, and fought Grievous at that physical age without dying, etc.... yeah, the only thing holding her back was her body not being what she was used to, and she’s had a few weeks go adjust.

“I miss being able to just jump off skyscrapers” is such a jedi thing

Jango: I'll take the gun back if he tries to leave, they can't get far before--WHAT THE FUCK He knows Jedi are scary but he’s still not really used to just how over the top ridiculous they are He knows how to deal with Jedi in battle, not Whatever The Fuck These People Are Doing

Rex isn't even a Jedi, he's just so used to working with them. “Oh yes time for free-falling without a parachute again, same shit as always.”

Tia: I’m imagining Jango freaking out and Quinlan and Tholme being like. Concerned but mostly exasperated Clearly if they’re jumping off buildings it must be serious? But jfc they could’ve maybe communicated a bit more?

Leia: I want to finish my juice Tholme: Quin, stay with her while we go figure out what those two are doing. Quinlan: Wait what

Jango: Oh now he’s jumping off a building too??? Tholme: Sokari, you are not registered! You can't legally jump out windows yet! Jango: What the hell is going on? Is this normal?

We don’t necessarily know how often Ahsoka and Maul ran into each other after Mandalore. There was the later thing on Malachor, but other than that I'm just going with the idea that they ran into each other every year or two and just went for the eyes like feral cats

Ahsoka: I need to kick ass and you're coming with me. Rex: Yeah, okay. [several minutes later] Rex: Whose ass are we kicking?

Ahsoka and Rex

Neloms aren’t a SW fruit to the best of my knowledge, I just wanted to mess around with lemons/melons

Jango: you didn’t think any of this through, did you? Rex: you were there, you know we didn’t "When the Jedi says to jump out a window, I jump out a window."

Tholme’s real composed about stalking the ancient nigh-mythical enemy of his people, very “Life is already so goddamn weird”

This fic has been so heavy on the trauma but then I introduce Maul and suddenly it's the worst kind of comedy Nobody is competent, everyone's a little dumb, the bad guy is just grocery shopping

My propensity for banter has turned this into a six-person buddy cop comedy about Maul buying grapes They spend a significant amount to time ineffectually stalking Maul before Quin suggests the sensible option Quinlan just "You remember this is my literal job and specialty right"

Ahsoka sees Maul and all her brain cells go out the window except "Fight good" Usually she doesn’t need to worry about doing things legally. Maybe she needs to worry about someone seeing her do illegal things but she spent the past 15 yrs in a place where her existing was illegal

I feel like he’s also maybe kinda wanting to reassert that yes he is competent. Bc like. Ahsoka’s been kinda condescending this whole time and also can beat everyone up so. It's not his fault that he's actually the youngest person there, but.

Jango is finding this whole being friendly to Jedi thing a lot more overwhelming than he thought it would be. And overwhelming in different ways.

Maul usually signifies things getting worse and more horrifyingly tragic but he's just a dumb teen that they needed to arrest for his own good.

Quinlan: Look, I'm useful! Ahsoka: I've been through hell, wanna hear? Quinlan: NO. I DON'T. WHY.

Quinlan: I understand the concept of joking about your traumas, I do it sometimes myself! But sith hells that’s a lot of trauma.

Quinlan just wanted her to treat him as a Competent Individual, and here she is whipping out stories about Dying and Gods and the Force insists it's the truth and he just???? And apparently emo darksider over there is a Sith. And just, sure. Why not

A lot of people’s interactions with the time travelling disaster lineage is just

Tholme and Fett arguing and  Ahsoka's just waiting for a moment to pop in with "Hey, when's the last time either of you worked with the other's culture before this mess? Yeah, that's what I thought."

Much like Leia and Ahsoka hurting each other earlier, and Tholme figuring out the de-aging, we ALSO have Fett’s confrontation with Ahsoka being something the characters just did, rather than something I planned.

FTR the only time I managed to trigger myself while writing this fic was the “your behavior isn’t actually acceptable and we’ve all been trying really hard to give you room to recover but you have to at least make an effort to not be a bitch”

Writing about people having PTSD and symptoms of such: Yay! Writing about people having PTSD and engaging in toxic behavior to cope: Shit Ahsoka had... basically my exact reaction. It's "remind yourself that you're in the wrong, that they have a point, and then be overly formal in the apology because fuck if you accidentally make them feel sorry for you when they're the injured party"

Quinlan: Can we be friends? I mean, you're an asshole, but you're really cool. Let's be friends. (He MIGHT be nursing a crush) (Neat mysterious girl who can beat him up.)

Also he realises she's probably nicer when not having a slow-motion breakdown He's like "Huh, you'll probably be less of an asshole once you've gotten therapy."

...also, she pretty and got Nice Biceps

I love writing a good mental breakdown

I was so close to including a "he tried to kill me" just early enough for Jango to wildly misinterpret as her thinking Quinlan tried to kill her. He'd have been very confused, considering Quinlan's the one that called them down in a panic and currently has Ahsoka having her massive breakdown in his lap But

Tia:  I could see Jango interpreting it as idk, Quin resembling someone or for a moment acting like someone who tried to kill her and she had a flashback or something like that

There's absolutely room for a couple reasonable interpretations there And "trapped in a flashback about someone who tried to kill her" is absolutely what's happening! Just. You know. For a different reason. Jango probably wouldn’t assume Quin would hurt her, for one thing he seems to like her, for another even if he did he’s smart enough to pick a way that wouldn’t be so likely to get him caught

I had to step back and actually say “Also I'm just. Wow. I'm really just shoveling QPP Rex&Ahsoka at full speed”

Me, a few weeks ago, joking: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist Me, now, entirely seriously: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist

Me, belatedly: Oh, Ahsoka being joyfully mean to people was a form of mania she was unconsciously using to build a barrier between herself and her impending meltdown

She went from "just died" to "in charge of Rex and Leia" in like. Two minutes.

Confession: I've been delighting in the mental image of this whole Mess leading Jango to try to retake Mandalore, and Ahsoka loans him a saber for a 1v1 to get the darksaber.

“Can’t I just fight him barehanded? That’s how I did it on Galidraan.” "But the drama, Fett!"

Probably Rex has learned how to use a saber as well, because you never know when you have to borrow a weapon

I later changed my mind to Jango asking her to help, rather than her just sneak-teaching him, but it was funny.

Background nonsense to all this is Ahsoka and Rex, despite Rex being as force-sensitive as a lump of coal, having developed a process where she can extend her sensitivity to him mind-to-mind for weird symbiotic battle trance that scares everyone around them. It’s very similar to Battle meditation.

CONTEXT FOR LEIA BEING WORRIED ABOUT THOLME HIDING THINGS: Tholme is hiding the fact that the Council reached out and told him that the people he picked up might be connected to Ben and Luke, who showed up after the Depa thing but a solid week and change before Jango's ship makes it to the Temple. They asked that he not share that information to avoid getting anyone's hopes up in case the two situations aren't related. Ben and Luke haven't shared enough information for anyone to really be sure if the other three are connected Because the info Tholme has isn't quite the info Jango has, etc. And they can't just say Ben is a future Obi-Wan over comms

I just have a lot of feelings about people trying to do something right and just. Nobody's at fault! Not really! It's just complicated!

Tia: I like how when Ahsoka isn’t doing maladaptive trauma response stuff she’s very mature. And of course she’s had to be but it’s a good like, contrast. Where when she slows down to think about things she’s very sensible

Jango just spends most of this story lowkey wanting Ahsoka to Be His Friend but there's too much baggage that he's only metaphysically responsible for

Local aroace(?) has a squish

Ahsoka: He just wants to get on my good side because of Rex. Jango: I'm pretty sure you could kill an entire army without trying but you wouldn't because you have actual morals and stuff... and when I met you it was because you were killing yourself trying to keep (what appeared to be) children safe... you seem cool please be my friend.......

Ahsoka’s #1 weakness: mountains of trauma Ahsoka’s #2 weakness: she just doesn’t get why so many people think she’s cool and want her to be their (girl)friend

Jango, a 27yo massacre survivor who's killed Jedi masters with his bare hands: [gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly]

Ahsoka was raised in a religious meritocracy but developed all her opinions during a galactic war and then became a vigilante spy, Rex comes from a military cult, Leia is from an inherited monarchy that participates in democracy, Quinlan was originally from what appears to be a dynastic dictatorship, and IDK about Tholme other than that he is also from the religious meritocracy. And in legends Quinlan came to the religious meritocracy after his aunt sacrificed his parents to a vampire cult and then forced him to experience the psychometric echoes of that. There's just. A lot going on.

Leia at least has knowledge about structure and admin in theory that isn't based in either the military or populations under 10k

Jango: I want to be your friend. Ahsoka: Sounds fake.

I am unfairly fond of "Rex destroys a conversation by bringing up his own horrifying childhood and calling it a cult"

"Why does Sokari call you 'Rex'ika'?" "Because she's older than me." "...can I--?" "No."

Nickname privileges are extended ONLY to Ahsoka and older clones. There are no more older clones, so it's just Ahsoka.

Me joking about Star Wars AUs: Would you like a crackship? Me writing actual Star Wars fic: My favorite character type is apparently “too traumatized to have a relationship” so this is at least 90% gen.

I had to pull a scene opening at one point because Ahsoka's skill with not getting shot is actually much less useful than Tholme's clearance levels.

Now I really want a team-up of Ahsoka, Rex, and Jango where they do have to get in a dogfight of the "she flies, we shoot" variety and Fett just has to scream because the speeder thing to catch Maul was one thing, but this....

Ahsoka, before TCW: I know all the traffic rules but I'm not that great at flying! Ahsoka, after TCW: I'm great at flying but if you let me behind the wheel we are absolutely getting arrested.

She went from "knows the rules but doesn't have the skills" to "has the skills but primarily in the form of not getting shot" which! Is delightful! "Bet I can get us through that alley--" "DO NOT"

Jango and Ahsoka are both just very "Is this friendship? Is this camaraderie? My heart's been fried on platonic love by so many murders that I'm not sure anymore." "I've lost a lot of friends. I kind of forgot how to make those."

I have no idea if "hasn't been closer than Alderaan except that one trip to Chandrila" is canon-compliant but ehhhhhhhh It feels plausible enough?

Belatedly realized that I could just explain my optimal Rex&Ahsoka dynamic as just... drift compatible. It's vague enough on the specifics while still digging into the meat of what they mean to each other and how they work together. The terminology is already in existence. I can just use it.

Romantic? Platonic? Familial? Doesn't matter! They're drift compatible.

They are important to each other and that is what matters

I really like the Leia&Quinlan thing. He's just like "This small child needs a friend that isn't super depressed," and decided he's going to be her friend. I keep trying to toss in "Quinlan volunteers to 'baby'sit." She's not much older and she has a Baby Brain, it works out

There's a running bet as to whether Leia will leave the Order the second she turns thirteen, or if she'll let Sokari "train" her for a few years first. And... that’s how I came up with Leia Antilles, Senator of Serenno.

They'll be bullshitting Ben as her new master to "finish out the padawanship" since they can't tell everyone she's really in her thirties and he's conveniently there and already knows everything and was half her master anyway. Like Ben was planning on taking on Luke, but Luke is "six" and even he can't swing that as old enough to be a Padawan, and it's not like Sokari will take more than a handful of years to justify knighthood, sooooooooo

[licncourt]

I know you get quite a lot of these but you have any more headcanons about Daniel and Louis' friendship? I just can't get enough of them!

Also what are your opinions about Daniel/Louis as a ship? It's kind of a rarepare but there's something about this ship that I find very appealing, and your headcanons make me ship them even harder.

Have a lovely day and keep being the best vc blog with the best and most correct opinions😘💗

Aside from Louis or Loustat, Daniel & Louis is probably my absolute favorite VC topic of all. I will always be an unshakable Loustat shipper, so I can't really imagine actively putting Louis with anyone else, BUT if I had to like. Pick another ship, it'd be Daniel/Louis. Honestly, I've always been sort of surprised that there isn't a niche of D/L shippers like there are for Lestat/Armand. It's kind of right there and there's so SO much potential material. If someone wants to write it for me I'll happily read it because I wholeheartedly approve of 'fancy 18th century sad vampire/70s stoner man' in any form it's offered.

On that note, I'm positive if Louis had propositioned Daniel at any point in their interview, that boy would've been tripping over his own feet to get that vampire D. If not for Armand, he probably would still be down, though the infatuation has worn off and he's no longer slightly in love. Louis is aware of how bad Daniel wanted to fuck him initially and is very nice about the situation. He's used to it.

In return, Daniel is very nice about Loustat relationship drama. Interview with the Vampire was far from the end. Now it's Weepy Vent Session with the Vampire and it's like. Every Thursday at best. Sometimes more. ("I just don't know if I can do this. It's all so much." "Okay, fine. Dump him." "What?? No! I couldn't!" "Then why the FUCK are we having this conversation again, Louis?")

Daniel gets Louis into a very strange assortment of music. He takes to the expected, but there are enough wild cards that Daniel keeps experimenting on him by offering various records. Most are rejected, but Motorhead (no other hard rock or metal), The Beach Boys, Alanis Morrisette, and Toto (yacht rock is generally a go it turns out) are kept.

Louis attempts the same with books for Daniel and achieves similar results. Most receive an "eh", but Louis is absolutely delighted when he gets a good response to Camus and the absurdist philosophers. He can't seem to replicate the outcome with other genres, but a stoned Daniel is the platonic ideal of a conversation partner for Louis when he's in a philosophical yet chatty mood. This is great news for Lestat.

Daniel really wants to impress Armand (he's feeling a little insecure about his journalism degree in the face of Armand's classical education) so Louis drops everything for a solid week to hole himself up with Daniel and teach him French and Latin (vampire brain allows for maximum efficiency). Unfortunately for Louis, this means he can no longer talk shit about Daniel in French with Lestat during game nights.

Daniel is the first person Louis ever "comes out" to. Obviously he's into men, as evidenced by the...everything. But the first time he manages to verbalize it is alone with Daniel.

When smartphones hit the market, Louis totally helps Daniel win his word and trivia games with Armand. Daniel feeds Louis pop culture facts to stump Lestat. They are cheaters.

He's also the one who finally makes Louis feel comfortable feeding in front of others. Lestat is very supportive, but Daniel never makes a big deal out of it. He just lets Louis tag along on his own hunts. He can join in if he feels up to it or not. Daniel won't say anything or treat him differently either way. Eventually Louis goes from just coming for the social aspect, to snagging the occasional victim out of sight, to taking part every time.

Daniel, vampire or not, still has trouble with his alcoholism. The cravings stay, as does the ability to give into them by finding drunk victims. He has a hard time talking about it in the beginning, but if Armand isn't around, he goes straight to Louis. Louis is actually great at helping given his immense experience comforting certain individuals who refuse to verbalize their feelings or let go of the carefree persona they hold onto for dear life.

Aside from their respective partners, the only people Daniel or Louis ever blood share with is each other. It's a pretty rare occasion, but sometimes it's the last resort for comfort or affection if things are particularly bad, especially if Lestat or Armand is unavailable to help (or if they are the problem du jour). It's part of the reason they're so tightly bonded as much as it is a result of that bond.

[kairos-polaris]

Eris(Demon’s daughter)

Demon's head daughter couldn't be anything other than perfect. She must master every martial art. Her education must be flawless. Failure is not a choice. Even the smallest mistake is a disgrace.

Marinette knew it. That’s why spent hours and hours training and perfectimg her form. But something was lacking and she craved to find it.

Chapter 2, 3, 4, 5

On the far east, high up in the mountains is a city, Nanda Parbat. There hides and lives Ra's al Ghul, the demon's head. 

The walls in Nanda Parbat have no warmth. They're permanently soaked in blood and death. At night you can hear the anguish screams of the long dead. 

In a small room without windows lives a girl with eyes as blue as sapphires and hair as black as night. Dark skin makes pale scars visible. 

The only welcome visitor is the girl's sister. She will tend to the girl's wounds and help her prepare for sleep. 

"You must be more careful, Marinette." Berated her Talia. "Your training will grow harder with time. You must be ready for this, ya albi. I can't lose you."

"Why do we have to train so hard?" 

"Father has a lot of enemies. We must know how to protect ourselves," Talia answers softly. 

"The League doesn't condone uselessness and everyone must reach a certain standard. It's even higher for us because of our father. And I am sure you enjoy a part of your training, don't you?"

"Yes, I enjoyed training with Lady Shiva. She taught me how to use a war fan. Dansen uchiwa* is my favorite, but mubuchae is nice, too." At her sister's questioning look she continued: It protects my arm and I can use it to dodge attacks. Then I will stab the attacker using balisong**. .. And I can also.." the next fifteen minutes were spent discussing different ways of using war fans and daggers. They briefly touched on the subject of Japanese martial arts and weapon making.

"...and that's why I prefer straight blades." Talia stopped talking and looked at Marinette. The girl was staring at the wall. 

"Why can't we just leave?" Marinette suddenly spoke. "We would go everywhere and stay nowhere. You could pose as my guardian. If anyone asked about parents, we would give them a sob story about their death." The brief training with Lady Shiva made the walls in Nanda Parbat feel more suffocating than before.

"Oh, ya albi, you know that's impossible. Father would track us down immediately. He has ears and eyes everywhere." Talia chuckled bitterly. Somehow her answer made Mari more enthusiastic. 

"But you want to run away! That's what matters! One day we will bribe Nyssa and she will help us. And we won't have to live under our father's tumb." 

Talia just hugged her sister. Getting out of the League of Shadows was impossible for them. Especially for them. She could only pray that Marinette would be happy one day.

***

Eight-year-old Marinette understood it the day she failed for the first time. She stood there, before her father, waiting for his verdict. The small voice in her head whispered how it wasn’t her fault, that even famous designers don’t have this much security as Gabriel Agreste does. “I should have been prepared for everything. This failure will be my lesson if I survive this,” she thought bitterly.

Demon's head daughter couldn't be anything other than perfect. She must master every martial art. Her education must be flawless. Failure is not a choice. Even the smallest mistake is a disgrace.

Demon's head daughter isn't a child, she's a weapon. A perfectly sharpened dagger.

"You failed me, Marinette. Not only you didn’t kill that man, but you were caught and Talia had to save you. As your master, I’m furious, as your father, I’m disappointed.”

The cold stone hurt her knees and her ears burnt from embarrassment. His words were sharper than the sharpest knife. That’s why he is called Demon’s Head after all.   

“I’m sorry, father. It won’t happen again. I..” Marinette tried her best not to falter under Ra’s’ glare.   “I don’t remember giving you permission to speak.” His words left goosebumps on her skin and Marinette had to bite her tongue to stay silent. “Your actions will have consequences, so be prepared for your punishment. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, father,” she answered softly, but Ra’s seemed satisfied and dismissed Marinette to her room. She left as fast as possible.In her room, she would think about the nature of punishment and try to be prepared. Hey, how does one prepare for their death?

Marinette was sure Ra’s wouldn’t let her walk away without proper punishment, but she decided to humor her sister.

***

After that Marinette had to spend even more time training and studying. Talia was happy to hear that. “Ya albi, if you continue training, you won’t fail again. You were lucky father decided to pardon you.”

Marinette spent a lot of time practicing with her blades and darts. War fans slowly became her weapon of choice. You can hide it. You can show off with it. There are multiple ways of using it making it perfect for Marinette.

Unfortunately, Marinette never used sharp tessen during practice. Later, Marinette would regret it, because fighting ten trained and armed assassins with two fans wasn’t her definition of fun.

Scratch it. It was hell. Given the number of attacks, she could avoid them only for so long. She couldn’t take out her daggers.

Swish. Kick. Jump. Repeat.

Marinette slowly rose from the water. The first thing she noticed was the absence of scars. "How many new scars will litter my skin before I die again?" She wondered silently.

Marinette was skilled, but so were the assassins. And it still took them an hour to take her down. “At least I managed to injure them, too.”    

***

Waking up in Lazarus' Pits wasn't something she wanted to repeat ever again. The water felt gross on her skin and the smell made her want to throw up.

Another prominent difference was anxiety she could feel in her bones. She craved to do something, to the blood of her killers on her hands, to feel how life leaves their bodies. A whisper in her head sung how glorious it would feel to get her revenge.

"It's not punishment when I feel so high and mighty, father. It's a gift I will treasure." With these words Marinette dug her nails into her arm, leaving small marks. The skin felt too clean for her.

“Marinette,” he greeted her. “I see you’re feeling better now. What is the reason behind your visit?”

In this state, Marinette didn't notice her sister entered. Talia stood there watching the last bits of Marinette's innocence fly to hell. It was the point of no return.

***

Ra’s was sitting in his room when he felt movement behind him.

Marinette tilted her head and slowly answered; “I wanted to ask your permission to return the favor.”

“You can do whatever you want to them. Just leave them alive. But you were very effective at taking them down, so three of them can’t stand.” This was the closest thing to praise she could ever hear from Ra’s al Ghul.

One time Talia gave her a book with Greek myths. It soon became her favorite book. She loved the stories about gods, and heroes, and monsters. The heroes knew when to kill and when to spare someone. Marinette could admire this.

“Thank you, father.” With a small nod, she left to enact her revenge. If there were more screams than usual, nobody paid attention to it.  

***

Reading was a great way to escape reality. Books told her about different worlds and people. Unfortunately, Ra’s had to approve every book given to her. Only for very significant achievement could she read something other than textbooks.

“I just don’t understand what you see in that fury! His enemies constantly escape Arkham and he still won’t kill them. His negligence hurts other people and they still call him a hero! Father respects him, too!” it wasn’t a common occurrence for them to argue about Batman, but Marinette was just too annoyed with Talia’s pinning.

“Bruce impressed our father with his skills and devotion to a cause. Bruce is hopeful. He believes everyone can change and be a better version of themselves. We know that’s not true and some people will never change.”

Marinette wasn’t impressed. “I know some people can’t change. We work with some of them.” Talia just laughed at her expression..

“One day you will fall in love. That day you will understand me.”

“Ew, disgusting. I will never, ever fall in love. Especially not with a hero. I’m sure of it.”  Talia just shook her head fondly. Her little sister still has so much to learn.

“And where will you go, Marinette?” Asked Talia. Marinette spared her a glance noting bags under her eyes and multiple cuts.

***

Eleven-year-old Marinette had an agency. She had a goal. She knew what she wanted to do.

“Gotham. I will tell Batman everything I know about the Light. But don’t think I do it to help him. I want to destroy everything for our father.” She threw a suitcase with much more force than needed.

“Why now? You seemed so eager to please him.”

“Pits did something with my brain and changed my memories about The fight. I thought it was their own decision. With this knowledge I asked father for permission to avenge myself. My overall perception of him changed.”

“And now you are angry. But you shouldn’t run away like this. Batman won’t trust you. He will think you are a double agent sent by the League.” Marinette just grinned at that.

“I will give B information and leave immediately. I’m going to travel the world. I have money and I can take care of myself.” Talia sighed and took Marinete’s face in her hands.

“I know I can’t change your mind, but please be safe, ya albi.” She whispered softly.

“Thank you, Tals.”

“You are more important to me than our father.”

[writing-frenzy]

im vibrating i need 2nd opinion on this bunny that just slaps it's paw on my face. an AU where Shang Clan is a clan of Narrative. I love expansion on PIDW's Worldbuilding, that have more continents with their plot stories like a proper cultivation world. and the World likes it's Children's of Heaven aka Protagonists. 'Children', aka there's more than Protagonist Binghe in this World. But the World only likes one Child at the time, or maybe one per Continent. and Shang Clan knows whose the Protagonists are, to stir themselves clear from them. but like I said, they're clan of Narrative, so each time some Children of Heaven popped up, at least one Shang will be in the vicinity to become the unfortunate 'Bystander' recording the 'history' aka plotlines. Airplane is the unfortunate (fortunate?) person for this time of Child, aka Binghe. Especially when he lose to all his cousins when trying to out do each other when denying the 'Binghe Story'. That's why Airplane going to Cang Qiong, bc all his age-mate relatives already made themselves scarce before the invitation came. --

--Shang Clan, I'm torn between: 

1)they are actually bunches of reincarnators, spanning from the original Shang billions years ago until the recent births aka Airplane and will still into the future Shang, or 

2)the World just made them aware of the 'stories' and 'plotlines' ever happened and will happen bc it's funny to have some bystander watching in horrified fascination, and getting into existential crises at that. 

Peoples thinks Shang Family (Merchant) but it's actually only one of many branches of Shang Clan. So Airplane in his childhood get a bit of existential phase of 'the world is a lie' thing bc this new Shang Clan, bc this is not in his draft! and Shang Family getting horrified bc they can see all the Narratives and Plotlines that spanning all over the skin of the children of Airplane's age. There's a Protagonist and Story incoming! And one of the children will be in the vicinity and maybe will have a Minor Role!! and Airplane didn't have System bc the Narratives alone already enough to trip him and caught him by the ankle and drag him. So yeah. an AU where Shang Clan knows more about PIDW and more, Airplane without System, expansion worldbuilding bc some people from other continent kinda crash landing into the PIDW plot, many feral Shangs, and chaos

~

0.0 that was a ride and a half- I love it :D especially feral Shangs, I feel the world needs more of them (also, other Protagonists to fight Binghe? hmmm, I like~)  Now, this sounds like a wide ride from start from finish, but I love the idea of our gremlin writer facing emotions and building actual connects and relationships with others~ Having a family like this, which understands the craziness of the world would be a wonderful start to that.

Now, for my opinions~ I say both, both is good; like, the Shang Family has been Woke for ages by the World’s desire for entertainment and are just like tired tm. And then, to add to it, they get reincarnaters popping up and willingly involving themselves into stories, you know, like Isekai protags do. (They give so many headaches, the Shang Family would really like for their children to stop bothering the obvious villain/dark hero starting to obsess over them).

So, having Shang Qinghua as their child, the Shang family is worried... only, this child?? actually??? has a Brain??? And is smart???

He has the Shang Family Seal of Approval there... still doesn’t save him from documenting duty, but they at least send him care packages and letters to let him know they care~ (Also, give Airplane the family that loves him 2020: I crave a chance for peeps judging Airplane’s choice of love and going ‘Airplane could do so much better; just look at all that plot surrounding them!”)

XD but yeah, this poor bystander family just wanted to sell shit, they do not want all these existential crises at all! They do not want to know all these secrets, or know about these terrible monsters of the world! And they love their gremlin writer son, even if troubles seem to follow them around like a bad backstory!

Thank you so much for sharing this with me! This was a nice treat after the day I had.

[burnedbyshoto]

Innocence

Kinktober Day 29 ~ kink: cockwarming

pairing: midoriya izuku x fem!reader

warning: smut, cursing

word count: 2,018

a/n: issa day late, im sorry! midterm season is over and my brain feels like Im recovering from a brutal hangover due to it!

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Midoriya Izuku was a hard-worker.

You knew that well before getting into this relationship! You also knew that well after getting into the relationship. His hard work was evident everywhere, in everything that he did.

Midoriya was a wonderful boyfriend, and you were grateful for him in your life.

But being a hard-worker often meant that Midoriya poured his time over the smallest of things. Which meant that you were not the center of his focus. Most of the time it wasn’t that big of a deal! But today, it hurt you.

For unknown reasons, today you were particularly horny. It was your day off and instead of doing nothing today -- as the two of you had originally planned -- Midoriya had pulled away from your embrace. He had left you in the middle of watching a sitcom based off of some weird Pro-Heroes that you and Midoriya loved to go finish up paperwork. You understood, for the most part, your boyfriend was a successful man! But did that mean he had to leave you when you needed him most? You didn’t think so.

You sat next to Midoriya in the bedroom, your hands holding your head as he was busy writing away on his report. A report he neglected because he would rather spend time with you. Of course, he then chose to remember about it shortly after getting you extremely worked up. Who the hell made out with their girlfriend for a solid ten minutes while grinding into them and then pull away unaffected?

So now you glared at Midoriya who went about as if he was oblivious to this entire ordeal. His pen scratching at the paper as you groaned again.

You were not happy.

“Are you almost done?” You mutter as Midoriya’s green eyes looks up at you.

He shakes his head sympathetically, “No, give me ten minutes?”

“...fine.”

So there you sat, not for ten minutes, but for twenty minutes.

Your nostrils flaring as your eyes tore into Midoriya’s concentrated figure. Now he wasn’t even being a dick about it, the damn nerd had become totally invested into the report.

Damn nerd? You blinked multiple times, since when did you become like Bakugou?

It didn’t matter as you shook your head, your throat clearing as you leaned in closer to Midoriya.

“Babe?”

“Sorry, y/n…” Midoriya mutters, his teeth chewing softly onto the pen’s lid. “Almost done.”

Huffing to yourself, you stood up walking towards the kitchen and grabbed yourself a cup of water. Swallowing the entire cup you placed it down with a soft thud. Your eyes focusing on Midoriya who was still writing away.

Now, you wouldn’t ever call yourself a needy person, but you were craving Midoriya right now. Fuck his report, he could do it in the morning if it was that big of a deal, he’s done it before!

You walk over and stand behind Midoriya. Your face lowering down onto his shoulder.

“You seem pretty focused,” you hum as you read his writing. It was for a minor case he had closed two days ago. Your fingers place onto his shoulders and Midoriya nods his head quickly. Not at all bothered by your touch.

“There were a lot of issues surrounding the alibi of the victim and stuff…” Midoriya trailed off. “But, I was able to get it straight, but you know, still need to write all of that.”

You nod your head as a smile sinks onto your face as your hands push further down his shoulders onto his chest. “Have I ever mentioned how much I fucking love your muscles?” You sigh as your fingers stop on his abs. Midoriya’s gone stiff against your body, his arms locked into place as you sigh. “They’re so strong…”

“Y/n…”

You push away, a giggle on your lips as he shakes his head, returning to his writing.

It seemed you needed to push him even more, and you were not afraid to go past any limits that he may have.

Sinking to the floor, you made sure you were silent as you crawled under the table. Your eyes setting on Midoriya’s strong legs and the gym shorts he was wearing to lounge in. Without as much as a warning, you shoved his chair back. The chair legs screeching against the floor as you gave yourself enough room to do as needed.

“Y/n, what are you--?”

“Just focus on your report, you seem a bit busy!” You smile as your fingers shove his gym shorts down his legs, then they moved to his underwear. “Don’t mind me.”

Midoriya gasped as your hand palmed his clothed erection. His hips bucking up into your touch as if his lower half had a mind of its own. Beaming up at him innocently, you move your fingers to curve into his underwear. Tugging them down so you could free his growing dick.

“Pay attention, Izuku.” You pout, “I don’t want to leave you like this, but if you can’t focus… I’ll go home.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game…” Midoriya warns you as you move your head closer to his length. Your soft breathing teasing his head.

“Well, there won’t be a game to play unless you get back to your work,” you insist. Your grasp around his girth only strengthening.

Midoriya’s length twitched between your fingers as you began to languidly stroke him. Watching as his eyes fell half-shut as he snapped his attention back to his report. He steered straight ahead, you almost believed you weren’t under the table about to blow his brains out with the way he was behaving. You did not like it, not one little bit.

You were going to have to try harder to make him lose control. Your eyes meeting his clenched jaw as you lower your lips to his throbbing manhood. Salty pre-cum immediately coating your tongue as you pushed down lower.

Midoriya’s breathing went an octave higher as he tried to regulate his breathing. His legs tensing on either side of you as your lips now wrapped around his length as you took more of him in. Your tongue swirling around his length as you progress further. You had to start with a tortuously slow pace as you hollow your cheeks to suck his length. The action creating a vacuum effect that caused his hips to buck into your mouth. His head slamming to the back of your throat as you gag softly.

You, however, were not amused with only getting a physical reaction out of him. You wanted to hear his voice crack, to see him rip you out from under the table. So you moved your hand down to the base of his dick, giving you more space to take more of him into your wet cavern. You continued to move the head of his cock further down the back of your throat as you pulled back. You now hummed as you took more of his length. You repeated the bobbing and sucking, each time feeling him hit the back of your throat as you sucked his dick.

“y/n…” Midoriya whines as his fingers thread within your hair, his hips now snapping into your mouth. Dominating your bobbing as you relax your jaw in order to take him in without hurting either one of you. “I -- shit -- I can do my papers tomorrow.”

You choke against his length, pulling away from his length with a resounding pop.

Your eyebrow quirked as you shake your head, “No. You need to finish that paper.”

“It’s a bit hard to do that when you’re sucking my dick.” Midoriya groans as his cock is still rock hard, but now he can’t come. His hands shooting out to try and get you back around his cock, but he’s too predictable as you lean out of reach.

“Oh?” You innocently state, tilting your head. “So when you leave me in a state of neediness it’s okay?”

Midoriya pauses, his pupils blown wide with lust, but he shakes his head.

Nodding your own head you crawl out from under the table, and you feel his green eyes following after your ass. Perfect. “I appreciate your honesty, but unfortunately you need to finish up that report.”

You stand up, your head tilting to the side as you stretch. The few moments on the floor making your limbs ache. But, you slide off your shorts and panties as you turned back to Midoriya whose jaw is on the floor.

You grin as Midoriya is only able to watch as you step your leg over his lap. Your hand clutching his cock within your warm grasp as you look back towards his still not complete report. “Wow, this is going to suck for you.” You giggle as you suddenly sink all the way down his length.

Midoriya immediately hisses against your collarbone, his cock pulsating within your aching walls.

Your mouth presses against his ear, your voice low and husky as your hips rock into a circle, “Focus on your paper.” With the end of the sentence, your hips still. No longer moving as Midoriya pants against your collarbone.

Cockwarming, there was something so damn pleasing about it.

“Be a good hero and do your report.” You whisper as your fingers move to his shoulders. The pads of your fingers gently tracing the tense muscles as you sigh, you really loved his muscles.

“Y-Y/n…” Midoriya moans into your skin as you feel his trembling arm reach out for the paper. The small sensations in his arms letting you know that he’s finally working again.

Midoriya thought it would be fun to tease you. You weren’t one to respond back in this way. Sure you would be needy and would whine, but never before have you attempted to suck his dick. Especially not cockwarming, and he could barely focus on his paperwork. The feeling of your heated pussy fluttering against his walls as his cock twitched. Cursing under his breath, Midoriya couldn’t help but rut his hips up.

Immediately, your hand came down to smack his thigh.

“Don’t.” You snap into his ear, your words chastising, they’re steely. You don’t want to be tested.

It was too much, though. The feeling of your breasts pressed flush against his skin. Your clenching pussy, and your soft breathing in his ears. Midoriya wanted to burn these papers and fuck you against this table.

“Fine.” Midoriya calmed down as his eyes burned holes into his paper.

He began writing again, his hands trembling, his words no longer perfect, but sloppy.

Your fingers trailed over his abs, your approving noises soft on your tongue as you nod your head. “I fucking love your muscles…” you cry into his ear, “You’re just so fucking strong, ‘Zuku…”

“Y-Y/n!” Midoriya warns, his pupils blowing wide at your noises. His hips instinctively snapping up to rut into yours.

“I’ll get off and you’ll get nothing if you don’t stop moving.”

You smile as he stills under you. The pen is now smashing in frustration against the table as your hips slowly rotate. Your waist spelling random figures on his cock as he splutters. The sounds of his pen hitting the paper only quickening.

“I always love it when you fuck me up against a wall,” you moan as you purposefully clench your inner walls around his twitching length. “It’s my favorite thing because your muscles are sooo fucking strained, and they look. So. Damn. Hot.”

You felt the muscles on Midoriya’s legs tighten underneath yours, and the next thing you knew the papers and pen went flying. Your back slammed onto the table.

“Now.” Midoriya snarls as his hips move out and slam back into you. “I’m going to make you come four times and your going to count them each time and thank me, do you understand?”

You grin widely, “Yes, sir.”

[onewingedxngel]

One-Winged Angel Lyrical Analysis: Advent Children edition!

Part 1 (for the OG rendition) can be found here!

WOOP WOOP! Who’s ready for ROOOOOOUND TWOOOOOOO of my lyrical analysis? Me. That’s who. You’d better be too, or else, prepare for my army to stand awaiting you right outside your window...

Noli manere,  Manere in memoria (Do not remain, remain in memory)

Sephiroth is determined to stay alive; of course, this links with the final words he utters in the film: “I will never be a memory.”

To die would mean that your legacy will only live on in the memory of others. Memories are manipulated, fragile and easily lost or twisted (as seen in Cloud). And, once those who carry your memory are gone, what else remains of one’s legacy?

Sephiroth doesn’t just want to stay alive. To live the life of a normal being would mean, eventually, becoming just a memory. He wants much more than that; he wants to ascend. To be more than the weapon he was born to be. To be a God. Something eternal.

Saevam iram, iram et dolorem (Raging anger, anger and sorrow)

Notably, the official translation says ‘sorrow’, but apparently, the literal translation is ‘pain’.

This is somewhat similar to the ‘burning inside with violent anger’ line in the original, but has an extra aspect to it which explicitely mentions his vulnerable side which I so love to point at.

This is outright acknowledging that not only is Sephiroth furious about his existence, but that it is also utterly agonizing for him. He’s not some one-dimensional villain who just wants to destroy for the sake of destroying, no. The anger is mentioned first and repeated twice, but the later reference to sorrow convinces me that Sephiroth puts up this front of blind fury, where that is all someone may see from the outside- but, in reality, that fury is borne from the great sorrow/pain he holds inside his heart, formed from the horrifying truth behind his existence. And he hides this vulnerable sorrow behind this more aggressive, intimidating rage.

Filled with anger and agony. Although he tries to hide the latter behind his rage, it is still there, ever present and lingering.

Ferum terribile, terribile fatum (Brutal terrible, terrible fate)

This is extremely similar to the previous lyrics, ‘fate- monstrous and empty’, which I discussed in part 1.

But this is another acknowledgement of how he wouldn’t exist had it not been for the JENOVA experiment, which I appreciate. Again; cursed by fate into an existence of pain and anger. Sephiroth’s rampage against the planet was sealed from the moment the JENOVA Project got approved. After all, JENOVA was never a Cetra, but being infused with her cells meant he would be born with incredible power, then exploited at the hands of the Shinra Corp.

Said it before, I’ll say it again: Sephiroth was nothing more than an experiment, a weapon. His life is full of bloodshed. Humans forced him to become a killer from a young age, and a killer he remains...

Veni, mi fili. Veni, mi fili Hic veni, da mihi mortem iterum (Come, my son. Come my son Come here, give me death once more)

I think ‘my son’ refers to Cloud. Maybe this could be slightly metaphorical, with how Cloud is referred to as a failed clone of Sephiroth (and could be a sort of ‘son’ in that aspect). Especially with the ‘give me death once more’, as each time Sephiroth has died, it has been at the hands of Cloud. It’s like however much he resists, however much he tries to win... part of Sephiroth understands that death is inevitable. Or maybe, to him, Cloud may represent death. And, when facing him, he’s come to anticipate it. Yeah. That works.

But maybe it could be referring to Kadaj. Kadaj is literally referred to as a ‘larval’ stage for Sephiroth, so it could make sense for him to be a ‘son’, one way or another. Maybe he’s calling to Kadaj so the remnant embraces his transformation into Sephiroth, and ‘give me death once more’ could refer to the inevitability of death that comes with being reborn...? OR ‘give me death once more’ could refer to Sephiroth’s wish to end the lives of others/the planet?

'My son’ could also be interpreted as a reference to JENOVA’s POV as she addresses Sephiroth and craves the death of others, but... she’s long been reduced into his puppet by this point, so I think it’s more likely that these lines are from Sephiroth’s POV.

Okay, my final thoughts: this refers to Cloud, who is a metaphorical son through being a failed clone, and represents death to Sephiroth, as the two times Sephiroth died before was directly because of Cloud. Though the Kadaj interpretation seems to work quite nicely as well. I think it can go either way.

Qui mortem invitavit Poena funesta natus Noli nomen vocare Ille iterum veniet (He invited death Painful tainted birth Do not call He will come again)

WELL. We have ANOTHER depressing few lines.

He invited death could mean many things. 

If we take ‘he’ to refer to Sephiroth, it could refer to him possibly embracing his demise, as it’s what allowed him to ascend both times he’d been defeated previously (after Nibelheim he overcame JENOVA, uncovered the knowledge he needed and formulated his plan, after the original game he managed to infect the lifestream and establish a connection with Cloud). Death does not hinder Sephiroth anymore, in fact, it seems to allow him to grow even stronger. Or it could also refer to Sephiroth embracing death as a force, since he brings it upon so many.

‘Painful tainted birth’ is also very in-your-face in its reference to Sephiroth’s pain. All of his anger and agony can be traced back to the moment of his existence. Sephiroth cannot exist without being ‘tainted’, because being a JENOVA experiment is literally who he is: I’ve said this before, but a Sephiroth who isn’t an experiment, who was born a human simply wouldn’t be... Sephiroth. So his ‘painful tainted birth’ is, unfortunately, necessary for his existence: and this is something that torments him. He can never escape the fact that he is... nothing.

‘Do not call’ (his name, I presume). I’m unsure. My brain jumped to the very literal interpretation of ‘don’t say Sephiroth’s name’, but that doesn’t exactly work. He’s not treated like Voldermort to the point where no one’s willing to say his name. SO I say this is metaphorical, in the fact that Sephiroth remains in existence because of Cloud’s memories. Cloud remembering him, and ‘calling back’ to him is part of why Sephiroth won’t dissipate into the lifestream.

‘He will come again’. Obvious. Sephiroth refuses to die. He will always find a way to return, as we see in both the game and the film. There’s the theory that AC Sephiroth is the same as Remake Seph, so if this ends up being the case, this line would be relevant in that aspect too.

- - -

So, that’s it for my analysis. T’was fun. Hope y’all enjoyed.

[emsartwork]

Sorry if you’ve already answered this but J was wondering if you could talk more the girls childhood/growing up? Love what you’re doing btw, absolutely adore how you’ve basically recreated the Winx world! 💗

Thank you!!! and sure thing! long post ahead

BLOOM: she never really had any problems family wise, Vanessa and Mike told her she was adopted at like…. Age 7 or so (in a positive affirming way obvi) and even if any kids teased her about it she never doubted her parent’s love for her. Even with Daphne’s spell helping her blend in with earth life, Bloom still had a nagging sense she didn’t “fit”, and got lost in fantasy books and art whenever possible. Growing up she deals with some body image issues that probably stem from the whole wrong fit feeling. Bloom grew up an artistic and quiet kid, Mitzi and Selina were her best friends from childhood, and because they both had really strong personalities, Bloom often repressed her own feelings in order to play peace maker. Up until high school, where Mitzi, who was always the leader, slowly started to turn into a bully in order to gain the approval/fear of her peers, targeting Selina specifically. Bloom was more of a follower at the time and just didn’t want to loose her friends so she didn’t stand up to Mitzi but tried to treat Selina as if nothing had changed, which was not cool with Selina and she not-so-subtly started to reject Bloom as a friend. Bloom, for her part, did get her shit together and stand up to Mitzi, loosing her only other friend right before her senior year of highschool (she was still technically friends with Andy but they had also just broken up and everything was awkward lmao). Bloom regrets not standing up to Mitzi sooner, and wants to rekindle her friendship with Selina (and Mitzi if she’s willing to tone down the bitchiness).  

STELLA: So Stella’s childhood is a little more complicated. Stella is the first SoLuna heir in Solarian history, and a very loud minority protested her very existence. Stella also had to stay close to the Second Sun of Solaria as a child, so she had a very solitary and confined early childhood in a wing of the Solarian castle. When she did figure out how to sneak out she was only 10 or so, and spent most of the time just wandering around the capital city. She didn’t have any problems in the city, but an off duty guard recognized her and took her back to the palace. Stella was then sent to an elite boarding school under a false name (Sasha), she formed close friends with Nova and Varanda, but the trio was the target of the rest of the school’s bullies (for various reasons). Junior high was peak nerd Stella, but she “princess Diary-ed” herself when starting high school and started placing all of her value in her appearance and status as a sex object. Her parents’ marriage was also starting to crumble and Stella felt like she had lost their love. Because Stella craves validation and affection, this lead to a couple bad relationships because the only way she could get people to “love her” in her brain was through physical intimacy, even if it didn’t really fill the void she felt. Nova and Varanda were her rocks during this period and Stella was able to learn to love herself first with their help. Stella was insanely nervous to leave her friends and go to Alfea, and tried to force friendships with other people originally, (this mostly lead to people thinking she was annoying and getting multiple censures from Griselda), and her first genuine connection on Magix was with “Prince Sky” (Brandon). Nova and Varanda were VERY worried when Stella first told them about “Prince Sky”(Brandon) and how fast they had gotten into a relationship and they may have stalked/threatened him on a visit to Stella but they eventually came around and started to like him. Stella being expelled was only kind of an accident, Varanda texted Stella in the middle of a Chemancy class her application to Alfea for the next year had been accepted and Stella got SUPER excited and blew up the classroom. She probably could have stayed in school but her response to Fraragona and Griselda’s “now what do you have to say for yourself young lady” was *giddy laughter* and “ i only wish the explosion had been big enough to send me forward to next year!!!!!” and griselda was like “either she goes or I go” and Stella was like “ya gurl i gone” of course her time back on Solaria didn’t go exactly as planned as her parents were just fighting every time they tried to do something together making her people pleasing/self blaming tendencies worse. 

FLORA: ahhh my baby So Flora does remember her father, not a lot and she feel guilty she doesn’t remember more, but she was only 7 when he died. Alyssa remarried when Flora was 13, and eventually she adjusted to having a younger sister who she loves very much now. Due to Rhodos’s nature preservation needing a lot of room for study Flora and Miele grew up pretty far away from any town and didn’t have a lot of friends. This is primarily why Flora and Miele are so close despite their age difference, and why Flora took her role as protector so intensely; she was the only one there (I mean besides the parents obviously). Flora did well in school though she was quiet and reserved, which made making friends even harder than living in the middle of nowhere. She figured out the best way to make people like her was to give them what they wanted, and this snowballed into Flora becoming kind of doormat not comfortable with voicing her true feelings and faking a lot what people expected from her. Flora has a lot of repressed…… everything (Bloom mostly just has a lot of repressed anger she’s good with other emotions lmao) she has trouble identifying what she’s feeling and for the most part is content to leave her feelings buried as long as the surface remains calm. The Winx do help her start to access her feeling more, and encourage her whenever she does voice an opinion. Helia is a perfect match for her in the sense that his quiet nature leaves Flora to express herself without trying to mold herself into whatever she thinks he wants (of course on the flip side this also means Flora and Helia have issues with communication and repression but that’s another topic). 

AISHA: hoo boy another complicated one. Aisha was raised in a strict environment, this mostly stems from her parents and their more…. anxious natures, but royalty on Andros is not as free as some of the other planets. Aisha’s world consisted of lessons and adults and rules and she had very little control over her own life. Aisha met Anne in a rare moment of freedom in the tidal gardens where Anne’s father worked. Anne was biding her time waiting for her dad to get off work so they could grab some dinner and was dancing. Aisha just watched her for a while before Anne noticed her and asked her if she wanted to play. The two formed a fast friendship, and Aisha finally started to feel like she had some sort of influence in her own life as she snuck out of lessons to play with Anne every evening she could(obviously their favorite thing to do was dance lol) Unfortunately Anne and her father disappeared one night. Aisha lost her only friend, the only social outlet she had, her one source of freedom, and couldn’t even figure out what had happened. Feeling so out of control lead to a pretty bad anxiety disorder for most of her teens, primarily triggered by the dark or being trapped in some way. She also has issues trusting others and letting people help her. Aisha started to act out, trying to exert any kind of control and relieve some of her anxiety. Her risk taking behavior got pretty bad, but she had started to tone it down after she met and bonded with Piff(royal business trip to Magix she skipped out on). Of course when the pixies went missing she wasn’t going to let her friendship vanish again and tracked them down with a not so healthy single minded determination.

TECNA: born to higher class parents, Tecna had greatness thrust upon her from an early age. She received extra training and education basically from birth, which she was fine with for the most part. Tecna grew up being able to handle academic pressure very well and met all of her teacher’s and parent’s expectations.  She and Riven had a brief collision as preteens in a school before Riven got expelled. Tecna’s one issue was that of her emotional intelligence, Zenith doesn’t really place an emphasis on that, so she was able to advance through high school very predictably until she attended a non-Zenith based workshop for magic. She found herself socially ostracized and very very confused. Of course Tecna had never met a subject she couldn’t master and emotions wouldn’t be an exception right??? Wrong. Zenith’s information about the brain and the chemicals produced was of no help, her teachers and parents didn’t understand why Tecna suddenly had this new interest in such an illogical subject, and worst of all, Tecna realized she didn’t understand her own brain chemicals. Tecna had a mini existential crisis, realized she had no idea what she even wanted to do with her life or why it mattered and applied to the Alfea Fairy program because “FAIRY MAGIC EMOTION MAGIC HELP” also it would offer her strong emotional experiences(transformations basically require it), the opportunity to work closely in groups, and personally obverse her dorm-mates emotional states. She got way more than she bargained for but doesn’t regret it a bit.

MUSA: my angst child T-T so basically, the first half of her childhood is p good, her parents work really hard and don’t always have enough money but the family unit is pretty stable. At around 12, Musa’s mom gets sick. Nobody is too worried at first, but she never seems to get better and she takes a big turn for the worse when Musa is about 16, Matlin is finally diagnosed with Core Failure Syndrome. CFS is similar to Core Fatigue, but while Core Fatigue can be remedied fairly easily with rest and magic, CFS is virtually incurable unless it’s caught really early. The causes are still unknown, and the symptoms (fatigue, nausea, cognition issues, and muscle weakness) can be prolonged but mild until it’s too late. In the later stages (extreme fatigue, numbness in the extremities, chest pain, joint pain, memory/focus issues, inability to keep food down)  all you can do is try to make the afflicted comfortable. Ho-boe is understandably distraught, and tries to freelance write for music but goes into a pretty bad depressive state. Musa has a few odd jobs here and there, and thats mostly what’s keeping them afloat among heavy medical debt. Musa latches on to her mother for emotional support as Ho-boe is super dissociated. When Matlin does pass as Musa turns 18, Ho-boe finally breaks, and violently destroys every last reminder of Matlin because he can’t deal with the pain. Musa, who has suddenly had her one emotional anchor cut off, is super freaked out and scared by this and it really damages their relationship going forward. Musa becomes incredibly anxious, and can’t really process her mother's death because her father won’t talk about it with her and is still shut off emotionally. Moving to Magix only worsened it as Musa rebelled and went after music with a desperate passion. Applying to Alfea was a way for Musa to get out of the house, and she and her father weren’t on speaking terms when she did leave for the college. Musa had planned on learning more magic to further her career as a musician, special effects infusing magic into a song rubbing shoulders with rich and well connected people who could possibly get her connected to the big shots in music….. The winx situations had her change some of her long term plans a little, but her connection with the group + her separation anxiety and fierce loyalty didn’t really leave any other choice lol