#my brain making its own content now
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treasure
#regularly scheduled mdyzs as the chokehold they have on me is . yeah#duck scribbles#doodles#midoyuzu#yuzumido#enstars#ensemble stars#from another drawing session w a friend hi ducky if u see this ily <3#yuzuru fushimi#midori takamine#damn if theres one thing keeping me going lately its fake scenarios and random thoughts abt these two#my mental health has dropped Severely as of late ! god forbid a duck be happy and content i guess#okay now it also just struck me that huh i sure draw them a lot huh#i feel kinda bad but also who cares. i like them a lot and im making that everyone elses problem#though another kinda funny thing to me is that doodling them a lot kinda did make me like my art a bit more. idk makes me happy seeing my#own dumb doodles of them or whatever and im not really in a position to be picky so#thanks for that fictional characters in my brain
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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they don't know im about to drop the wriolette fanfic of the century
#'i thought you hate—' yeah i do these are my ocs now#krill livestream#from the creator of jjk hatepost we now have#genshit#that is uninspired i apologize#idk if ill actually post much about it bc im publishing anonymously and i dont know if i wanna be associated w the fandom at all#but then it'd be silly if i end up making fanart of my own fanfic and i have to pretend i didnt write it. or well. idk#woe is a shrimp with autism.#oh man i think if i cared more about my social image id be crying pissing about being seen as contrarian just to be quirky#'whys the two fandom u make content for the fandoms you hate huh???!!' you see the way my brain works means that if somethings Good#I would happily enjoy it and then let it go. but if its bad. in my hatred i gnaw unwittingly sinking my teeth into putrid flesh#and making it a part of me forever .#just kidding its just until i loose the hyperfixation n then its meaningless to me
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starting to think this website is bad for my mental health.....
#⚠️#personal#everytime i come on here and read a post thats discourse its like entering a boss battle against my ocd#like fuck! not again!!#i dont know the answer and my brains yelling at me if i dont reblog fast enough im a bad person and i cant scroll by either causr thatll#make me a bad person whos ignoring what seems to be an obvious problem and now im FUCKED!!!#yeah maybe i could just unfollow discourse people but theyre half the people i follow and also some of my mutuals and like#its not like i dont care about issues its just hard to engage with anything on here when my own mind keeps yelling at me im a horrible#person for not reblogging whatever new queer discourse post has appeared on my dash#its exhausting!#i wish spaces online were more ocd friendly! but they never will be! cause social media thrives off reactionary aggressive shit like#''reblog this or youre a TERRIBLE PERSON'' and even when the op isnt saying that and is like calmly explaining things or at least from what#i can gather from their tone over the internet which is hard to judge that voice is still in my head like people on here will label you a#shitty person for not reblogging certain posts and that scares me and my ocd so bad!#i do care its just hard to want to engage with anything when everyones so angry all the time#yeah people can be justified in that anger but still for people like me who struggle with moral ocd its hard#ive been considering jsut not reblogging discourse but i want to show solidarity with people this discourse is about#i want to show i care cause i do its just hard like#i feel like half the shit i reblog on here is a compulsion#yeah maybe i should spend less time on here but even when im trying to do that i still scroll on my dash for maybe like 5 minutes and ive#already been hit with like 20 different discourse posts#i jsut came on here for gotham fan content idk man
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imagine a supergirl story but good and original....dc get on this
#literally let me write supergirl since you dont wanna!!!#i'll doo it!! i have ideas#like coherent ones even#there is a well developed supergirl who lives in my brain and she could live in canon too#anyway this million dollar idea for free....dc feel free to use this idea......#like imagine if she had her own city and rogues gallery and supporting characters and it wasnt all a lazy ripoff of clarks.....#it would be so easy im begging 😭#first of all the only good job she ever had was guidance counselor do NOT make her a reporter or put her in a dang soap opera#now ur already ahead of 90 percent of supergirl content#then just. tell a coherent plot <3#give her a good love interest for ONCE and dont let it be a walmart kryptonian or lois lane but a dude#fr her love interest should be from earth this is essential and ideally not superpowered but could still be a superhero#but no aliens! and not braniac ffs#and not a knockoff lois lane#a non powered or low powered hero who is still awesome would be very cool#let her fall in love with humanity#and give her her own rogues gallery make some new bad guys its ok i promise 😭#anyway.....infinite bitterness i could go on forever#also dont call her linda and dont make her a danvers she is a kent she should be kara kent its fine i promise its fine#smallville was right abt that part#i will NEVER draw an in depth web comic but i might write a fic thats just the supergirl story as it should be from start to present lol#anyway dc has no ideas for her and they have never had ideas for her and it shows#having no story to tell never stopped them from telling a story tho bless <3#this has been a shitpost#welcome back to me complaining
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#ive tried multiple times to write down my thoughts on this but my brain is just too scattered and it comes out all jumbled#but here's another attempt i guess#so yeah ive read the medium article about rusty quill. i'm absolutely gutted.#i suppose it's not super surprising but still. i hadnt expected it to be this bad#ive never really cared about rq as a company tbh but i do care about tma! a lot!#its been my special interest for almost 2 years now and if you're not autistic#(or hell maybe even if you are autistic - everyone experiences autism differently ofc)#i dont think you understand what that means. its not just a show i like. its like a part of my identity#its helped me through some really tough times and i can't begin to describe how happy it made me#when a continuation was announced just as i was once again going through some bullshit#i really want to still be excited about tmp because it really is so important to me#and tbh i dont think there's anything wrong with still enjoying tma/tmp? you can like sth and still be critical of the company behind it#and tma was written and created by jonny and not alex so i do sorta see it as its own thing and not just sth made by rq#but i keep seeing people on here acting like you have to boycott tmp (or even tma) now and that just makes me really upset#ill cancel my patreon and withdraw my kickstarter pledge and all#because i dont want to financially support rq unless they make some significant changes and commit to them#but i still want to engage with my special interest! need to really because thats just the way my brain works#and sticking to fandom content wont work for me because a lot of tma fandom stuff just... isnt my cup of tea#i'll take it as an addition to canon but not as a replacement#maybe i should just stop listening to what other people say#but its really difficult to deal with all this negativity about sth that means so much to me#might take a break from tumblr for a while for the sake of my mental health#i feel silly for being so upset about this but it is what it is#sometimes i do wish i had a different brain#anyway sorry for the rant#if you read this far: i love you. have some flowers 🌼🌻🌺🌹🌸🌷💐
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Literally fucking screaming crying throwing up pounding my fists against the floor cause dnd got postponed ANOTHER week
#No like genuinely words cannot describe my pain IM HYPERFIXATED ON MY FUCKINF DND CHARACTER AND WE NEVER HAVE TIME TO PLAY ITS BEEN THREE#WEEKS AND CAUSE HES MY CHARAXTER AND LITERALLY NO ONE BESIDES ME CARES ABT HIM AND WE CANT EVEN PLAY I HAVE TO COME UP W ALL THE THOUGHTS#ALLL ON MY FUCKING OWNNNNNN ITS DRIVING ME UP THE WALL ANS TGIS IS LIKE THE THIRD TIME WEVE HAD TO POSTPONE AND IM FUCKINF STARVING ON THE#FLOOR LITERALLY SOBBING ABD SCREAMING#AND THE HYPERFIXATION WONT FUCKING GO AWAY DESPITE ME HAVING LITERALLY LIKE ZERO CONTENT OBVIOUSLY BUT IM STILL TRAPPED IN THIS HELL OF MY#OWN MAKING CAUSEE MY BRAIN IS REFUSING TO LET ME FOCUS ON ANYTHING ELSE BUT IVE ALREADY CHEWED UP THE FEW SCENES THAT HAVE HAPPENEED SO#HARD AND IM RUNNING ON ZERO FUEL AND NOW ITS ANOTHER FUCKINNNNGNFNGJF 8 DAYS .!!!!#literally if i didnt have tge concert on thursday idk how id make it thru da week
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i just scrolled through my blog and i realised i have only two modes: weird pseudo-philosophical rambling. and absolutely unhinged yelling. AND I TELL YOUUUU IT'S SO FUNNYYYYYYY because i spent so long trying to curate my voice and sound like a normal, fun, easy to approach person back when i first made this blog!
then again it's been 3.5 years so i guess my voice changed naturally 🤨 i'm not smart enough for this 😮💨
#nia.musings#sorry even using this tag makes me snort. wdym musing girlie. are u a philosopher. big brain? 🤩🤩 2024 me is bullying 2020 me#also not me saying “im not smart enough for this” for anything that requires me to use more than 2 braincells#couldn't be bothered trying to make sense for more a second#kickstarting my own brainless era and i wear my crown so well#also random but i'm soooooo ready to infest this blog with jjk. i probably won't do that because that piece of art traumatises me#by that i mean i like it and keep up with it far too much for someone who claims theyre traumatised#my emotional scale is SHOT because of it. more pain than preferable. but i do quite enjoy it#and considering i go through sooooo much jjk content on tumblr it's only fair that i showcase it all on my blog :3#i have about 700 draft reblogs on a sideblog i made to save posts when i wasnt active here. i made it this year but theres SO much now#also lowkey regret not being active (though i had no energy) here in 2021 2022 2023 because i had so many thoughts about bnha#and now it's nearly over#like what do you meannnn i didnt get to yap about my spinner era from 2021.#what do you mean my love to hate and back to love arc for dabi didnt get documented in the annals of tumblr dot com#AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY MELTDOWN LAST YEAR RE: HAWKS' QUIRK DIDNT GET PUBLICISED#this is all a joke because i for real (FR FR) had ZERO chance of being here because life was putting me through its TRIALS#still is. but that's the way life is. we go on. <3.#speaking of trials. no one here was privy (wait i think i mentioned it in an rb) to my jason grace breakdown when i found out What Happened#sucks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i wasnt made for emotional pain.#also it's funny to me how none of my followers have unfollowed me so far.#are u guys also all inactive or do u just not see me anymore because tumblr's dash algorithm gives u random posts now#thats the only thing i dislike about tumblr now. i LOVE how it lets you edit tags now. also will always miss the old layout
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still thinking about the dream machine game... also been thinking about octopi. the dream machine is like an octopus to me
#kcat talks#wish there was an easier way to distinguish between the game and the machine itself rip#but like. - tentacles - round dome head - it can disguise itself (as dream characters)#- unexpectedly intelligent (octopi being one of the further from humans evolutionarily that developed intelligence; vs sentient machine)#- brain neurons in each tentacle - can control each dream independently / not fully dead til all tentacles are#i watched like 10 minutes of youtube octopi vids idk how accurate these are lol#- uses its tentacles to explore (in dm's case; just exploring the dream world)#also that one thing about octopi changing color at night indicating they might dream?? dunno#anyway: it's octopus#totally not neurons getting crossed from playing side order relatively soon before dream machine#and seeing a sentient machine w black tentacles that can influence peoples minds and being like. 'oh like overlorder :)'#i have Ideas about the dream machine btw ive been making a gijinka of it. its my blorbo now. get fucking blorbofied.#i dont think anyone would care if i made content of it bc its obscure but. perhaps i will#thinking of doing that one thing where you steal a canon character to become your own oc with some changes >:3
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I was seized with a fervor and could not rest until I illustrated one of my favorite scenes from Sherlock Holmes: the Adventure of the Devil's Foot. While Holmes and Watson take a holiday in the Cornish countryside for Holmes's health, multiple people in the nearby village are found driven mad or dead from horror. Holmes deduces a substance that was burned in their presence is to blame. With a bit of the mysterious powder and a gas lamp in hand, he proposes an experiment to Watson...
content warning for drug use!
I'm not sure if it's supported by the canon but in my mind this is the first time Holmes ever apologies to Watson and he is so overcome with emotion that he immediately makes it weird
Text under the cut:
"It is not for me, my dear Watson, to stand in the way of the official police force. I leave them all the evidence which I found. The poison still remained upon the talc had they the wit to find it. Now, Watson, we will light our lamp; we will, however, take the precaution to open our window to avoid the premature decease of two deserving members of society, and you will seat yourself near that open window in an armchair unless, like a sensible man, you determine to have nothing to do with the affair. Oh, you will see it out, will you? I thought I knew my Watson. This chair I will place opposite yours, so that we may be the same distance from the poison and face to face. The door we will leave ajar. Each is now in a position to watch the other and to bring the experiment to an end should the symptoms seem alarming. Is that all clear? Well, then, I take our powder--or what remains of it--from the envelope, and I lay it above the burning lamp. So! Now, Watson, let us sit down and await developments."
They were not long in coming. I had hardly settled in my chair before I was conscious of a thick, musky odour, subtle and nauseous. At the very first whiff of it my brain and my imagination were beyond all control. A thick, black cloud swirled before my eyes, and my mind told me that in this cloud, unseen as yet, but about to spring out upon my appalled senses, lurked all that was vaguely horrible, all that was monstrous and inconceivably wicked in the universe. Vague shapes swirled and swam amid the dark cloud-bank, each a menace and a warning of something coming, the advent of some unspeakable dweller upon the threshold, whose very shadow would blast my soul. A freezing horror took possession of me. I felt that my hair was rising, that my eyes were protruding, that my mouth was opened, and my tongue like leather. The turmoil within my brain was such that something must surely snap. I tried to scream and was vaguely aware of some hoarse croak which was my own voice, but distant and detached from myself. At the same moment, in some effort of escape, I broke through that cloud of despair and had a glimpse of Holmes's face, white, rigid, and drawn with horror--the very look which I had seen upon the features of the dead. It was that vision which gave me an instant of sanity and of strength. I dashed from my chair, threw my arms round Holmes, and together we lurched through the door, and an instant afterwards had thrown ourselves down upon the grass plot and were lying side by side, conscious only of the glorious sunshine which was bursting its way through the hellish cloud of terror which had girt us in. Slowly it rose from our souls like the mists from a landscape until peace and reason had returned, and we were sitting upon the grass, wiping our clammy foreheads, and looking with apprehension at each other to mark the last traces of that terrific experience which we had undergone.
"Upon my word, Watson!" said Holmes at last with an unsteady voice, "I owe you both my thanks and an apology. It was an unjustifiable experiment even for one's self, and doubly so for a friend. I am really very sorry."
"You know," I answered with some emotion, for I have never seen so much of Holmes's heart before, "that it is my greatest joy and privilege to help you."
He relapsed at once into the half-humorous, half-cynical vein which was his habitual attitude to those about him. "It would be superfluous to drive us mad, my dear Watson," said he. "A candid observer would certainly declare that we were so already before we embarked upon so wild an experiment. I confess that I never imagined that the effect could be so sudden and so severe." He dashed into the cottage, and, reappearing with the burning lamp held at full arm's length, he threw it among a bank of brambles. "We must give the room a little time to clear. I take it, Watson, that you have no longer a shadow of a doubt as to how these tragedies were produced?"
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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 34: The Whole Truth
Summary: In life, we will be confronted with difficult choices. Sometimes you won't know you've made the wrong choice until it's too late
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Word Count: 12,582 words
Warnings: Dead dove: do not eat, Angst, graphic violence and torture, mentions of predatory behavior towards a minor, Phillip Graves is a major creep, lots blood and injuries, kidnapping and its aftermath, hostage situations, anxiety and panic attacks, language, very explicitly described torture, ‘mega gets hit a lot, choking, biting, ‘mega gets stabbed with an ice pick, author can’t write COD missions, vomiting, lots of heavy emotions, detailed descriptions of pain, guns, background character dies on screen, descriptions of guilt and grief, lots of POV changes, some descriptive language of gore and blood at the end, rehashing of ‘mega’s injuries from the last chapter, a lot of angst and very heavy content, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe
A/N: This chapter deals with some pretty heavy content. Please, please, please read and heed the warnings. I have included content warnings for the more graphic parts before they happen, so if you don't want to read those, you can skip ahead to the next part. I suggest taking breaks if you need to, read it in installments if necessary. And I cannot stress it enough, please heed the warnings.
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
“Hi darlin’.” His grin widens like he’s happy to see you. “Been a long time.”
You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, your brain still sluggish. You feel sick as you try to process, try to figure out why and how. You try to move your arms again, but your wrists are stuck, hands burning as you pull. You desperately want them free, desperately need them free.
“Easy,” Phil says, putting his hands on yours, pushing them flat against the arms of the chair. They’re warm and calloused, the same hand that had been on your face a few moments ago. “You’re gonna hurt yourself. More than you already have been.” He lifts your left leg, making you groan quietly as a deep ache throbs down to your foot and up to your hip.
Running. A gunshot. Pain.
“He had strict orders not to harm you.” Phil says, adjusting the bandage wrapped around your calf. “Don’t worry. We got you all fixed up.” He sets your leg back down gingerly, his touch lingering for a moment before he looks back up at you.
“Why?” You croak out, trying to make sense of what happened.
Corporal McKinney broke into the barracks and chased you into the woods. He shot you and drugged you and now you’re here, restrained in a chair staring at a man you haven’t seen for years. A man who was once your dad’s best friend.
“A lot has happened since we saw each other last.” He says, pushing himself to stand. “I left the Marines after a few years, formed my own group of military contractors. Invited your dad to join, but you know how he is. All honor and duty and serving the country. Of course, you haven’t seen him in quite a while, have you?”
You stare up at him, starting to get scared. You never liked Phil. There was always something about him that put you off. He always stared too long, always sat too close to you. He always greeted you with a hug that lasted too long, squeezing you too tightly against him. He was sweet on you in a way he wasn’t with anyone else. He could be intense, brash and almost downright rude sometimes. He was a firm believer in traditional packs too, even if he never spoke about his own pack, his own omega. He had to have one, if he was as dedicated as he said.
He was far too much like your father.
Phil was always kinder to you, though. Softer. Not quite as callous and bellicose as your father in public. He was polite, always happy to lend a hand, always glad to roughhouse with your brothers to get their energy out. You saw the way your mother looked at him though. Perhaps her apprehension bled into you, those dormant omega instincts picking up on something she was projecting.
He made you uncomfortable, and she knew it.
What could an omega do, though, in a world where they don’t have opinions, they can’t argue, they can’t disagree. Your mother never said anything because in the world your family existed in, the world Phil existed in, she couldn’t.
“He was so angry when he called.” Phil continues, staring down at you. “Ranting and raving about how his oldest daughter betrayed him by presenting as an omega. He couldn’t stand having such a useless child in his perfect pack.” You flinch at his words, even though you heard your father spew those very words after your presentation firsthand.
“He called you?” You ask, the pieces starting to come together as your brain finally snaps fully into awareness. You knew he called someone, but you hadn’t thought it would ever be Phil.
“Of course.” Phil chuckles. “We were good friends, pals, buddies. He knew I could help him.” A shiver runs down your spine. You know what he’s going to say next. “So I did. I have some contacts in some high places, people who owe me favors. So I made some calls, pulled some strings, got you into FIOT immediately, with some strings attached of course.” He leans down so you’re almost face to face. “I wanted you. They put a note in your file. You wouldn’t be placed in the registry when you were old enough, you would go to me and my pack.”
Bile churns in your stomach as you process his words. It all makes sense now. The stares, the hugs, the closeness with your father, your rapid enrollment in an institute that can take weeks to process applications. It was all so you could be his. Something he’s wanted from early on.
“You would have been mine,” He pushes himself up straight again, starting to pace back and forth in front of you. “If the fucking CIA hadn’t gotten involved!” You flinch as his voice raises, the frustration starting to darken his scent. “They froze your file, made the claim null and void. All for what, their little initiative that never really existed in the first place?” He huffs out a laugh, a smirk tilting his lips. “Small world, though. Who knew we’d be seeing each other again after so long.”
He steps closer, looking down at you. You hold his gaze, suddenly feeling afraid. Even though you know him, even though you spent a good part of your childhood around him, you’re afraid of him right now. Your mind starts to revert back, the urge to lower your eyes, break eye contact like you’re supposed to flashing through your mind.
Don’t stare alphas in the eyes. They’ll take that as a challenge. It’s not your job to challenge them. Your job is to be subservient.
You would have been subservient to him if the CIA hadn’t gotten involved. You would have been under his control, bowing to him and his will. You’d have pups by now, at least one. He’d always talked about having a big pack with lots of pups someday, always glancing at you when he said it.
You’re going to vomit all over him.
It’s not just the truth that scares you, though. You’re being held captive here. That thought has registered in your mind now, the reality settling in as you get over the shock of the last few minutes. Corporal McKinney kidnapped you from base, and now you’re restrained in a chair surrounded by unknown alphas. Phil isn’t going to help you, take pity on you. He’s not here to be nice, to have a little chat and catch up on life.
That possibly ended as soon as he was denied what he wanted.
His hand cups your chin, holding your face up as he looks down at you. His thumb is rough as it strokes your jaw, a tickling feeling starting in the back of your mind again. There’s an almost bittersweet look in his eyes as he holds your gaze. You refuse to lower it, refuse to give him that satisfaction. “You’ve grown up a lot.” He says, his hand sliding down your neck to the collar of your shirt. “You always were cute, though. I knew early on you were going to be an omega. You were far too...calm and compliant compared to your brothers. Always so polite and eager to please. You can tell if you pay attention, you know. Those dormant instincts start to show themselves long before presentation.”
His hand pulls your collar to the side, revealing your mark. His eyes harden as he stares at it, his lips turning down into a frown. A shiver runs down your spine as the darkness in his scent intensifies. He’s not holding you hostage just to tell you about what could have been, what direction your life might have taken. He’s here for a reason, and you know your pack is involved. Something has happened, something behind the scenes, something John was looking into.
“What’s going on?” You ask as he releases your collar, taking a step back.
“Well, you’re being held hostage.” He says, like it isn’t already obvious. “You’re...shall we say...leverage to ensure your pack follows orders.”
You blink at him. You haven’t heard from or spoken to your pack in weeks. You should be relieved that they’re apparently still alive, but what if you had been right and they don’t want you anymore? Why would they take you if your pack has abandoned you? Or did they take you to ensure they wouldn’t...
“Laswell stuck her nose somewhere it shouldn’t have been.” Phil says, crossing his arms. “It’s only so long before your pack finds out. Let’s just say...they’re not going to be happy about it. So, to ensure they don’t do something impulsive and reckless as they are known to do, you’re going to play hostage.”
You gulp as you stare up at him, suddenly feeling very afraid. Your scent spikes in the air, clouding it with the bitter scent of anxiety. It was the plan all along. You knew it even if you hadn’t been told outright. Deep down you’ve always known it wasn’t about strengthening packs. It wasn’t about studying how an omega would increase or decrease the efficiency of military packs. With the events of the last few months, the idea had started to form in your mind. You know you weren’t alone in those thoughts. John and Simon were digging into the cameras for a reason. They were put up for a reason.
It was always about control.
That was the point of the initiative. That was why they put cameras up, that was why General Shepherd was so invested in the state of your pack and if you had been mated. He needed to ensure you were close enough to them so if something happened that wasn’t supposed to, you could be used against them.
You’re nothing more than leverage.
Your scent spikes in the air, clouding the room as reality sinks into you. Something happened that caused this. Something called your pack away to isolate you, to leave you vulnerable. They wanted you alone as a contingency.
Something did happen.
Now you’re here, being held captive by a man you used to know, a man who could have been your alpha had things not played out the way they did. The thought has your stomach churning. How far will they go? How far will Phil take things? Could he be merciful because of your history? Or will his ruined plan make him more ruthless?
You’ll be punished for something you can’t control.
Phil makes a soft sound as he looks at you, shaking with fear in the chair. “Don’t be scared. As long as your pack does as they’re told, I won’t have to hurt you.” He turns the light back to face you, nearly blinding you. “Now, smile for the camera.”
They’re safe.
It had been close. A rough position to be in, but they managed it. He never doubted them and their abilities, but four against nearly fifty with no backup were not good odds. He’s been in tighter places before, and while he had his doubts, he is grateful Johnny and Simon were sent in when they were. Even if it was a bit suspicious.
“All accounted for.” John says as he sinks down onto one of the jump seats next to Kyle.
They’re all battered and bruised from their final fight. He’s ready to get home, ready to get back to you. From the sound of it, things were not going well, according to Johnny and Simon. He has a lot to make up for, a lot of apologies to make.
“Fucking Russian PMCs.” He says, speaking to Kate over the comms. “It’s not a coincidence Kate.”
Kate lets out a sigh that crackles through the comm. “No, it’s not. My team and I came across some information while we were digging into the cameras.”
“What information?” He asks slowly and carefully. He doesn’t like being kept in the dark, especially when it comes to his pack. Especially when it comes to you.
“Not just information on the initiative, but information on General Shepherd.”
“What information?” He asks again, slower this time as Johnny and Simon move in closer.
“Shepherd was the one that sold those weapons to AQ and the Russians.”
John looks at the other three members of his team. He knew something was wrong, something was off about the way Shepherd had acted while informing them about this mission. “He wanted those missiles found and destroyed so he could cover his own ass.” He says, his stomach starting to twist. He doesn’t like the way this is going.
“But we found out the truth before you could find all the missiles.” Kate continues. “He sent you on a wild goose chase to give himself a chance to escape.”
John’s hand tightens into a fist. “Where is he now?”
“He’s gone dark. Totally off radar.”
John pushes himself up to stand, the adrenaline pumping again. “I’m going to find that bastard-”
“John.” Kate says, cutting him off. “There’s something else.”
The twisting in his stomach intensifies. There’s a bad feeling tickling in the back of his mind. He doesn’t want to entertain the dark thoughts that are brewing. “What?”
“They took your omega.”
His stomach clenches, his breath catching in his lungs. The other three shift on their feet, all of them stepping closer. The scent in the plane thickens, anger and confusion mixing into a toxic cocktail. He hopes he heard that wrong, that there was some kind of interference in the connection and his brain made up the words he missed. “Repeat that.”
“They took your omega.” Kate says again.
He lets out a long breath, his muscles tensing. He’s had a bad feeling tickling in the back of his mind for the last few days. Something was wrong, something was off. He should have known it was all a ruse. Why would AQ and the Russians store a missile in any of the places they had been sent to in the last week? It hadn’t made sense, and he had wanted to voice his doubts, but the consequences of a missile being launched because they decided not to look in one place was greater than his own perceived doubts.
They had been right though.
Of course it had all been a plan. Of course there had been something fishy about it. He’s hardly ever wrong. He’s been praised on his instincts on the field and off. He should have known. Pulling Simon and Johnny when they did should have been enough evidence, even if they had been needed in the end.
“You’re positive?” He knows she is. There’s no mistaking something like that, there’s no doubting it.
“There’s a video.” Kate says, John’s stomach dropping. “I’m sending it to you now.”
John pulls out his phone, his fingers white as he holds it up. He’s angry, beyond angry. If they’ve laid a hand on you...if you’ve been hurt because of his own failings, his own inability to see the truth...
He clicks on the video when it comes in, a familiar face popping up on screen. “Hi boys. Been a while.”
“Fucking Graves.” Johnny growls, his hands closing into fists in anger.
“I have a little something of yours I think you might be interested in.” He turns the camera around, your face popping up on screen. You’re restrained in a chair, wrists red from the zip ties, but there’s a glare on your face, looking as mean and threatening as you can. There’s a bruise on your cheek and what looks like a healing cut on your lip. Someone hit you.
“Smile for the camera.” Graves says, a bit too cheerfully.
You don’t smile, your glare sharpening as the camera gets closer to your face. There’s still fight left in you. Whatever has happened hasn’t been too bad. Yet.
“Let’s make this simple.” Graves says. “You stay away from Shepherd, and I won’t have to hurt this pretty little face. She is pretty, isn’t she?”
You shift in the chair, your leg lifting before you kick outward.
“Ow, you little bitch.” The camera jostles for a moment before it’s straightened back up, a hand shooting out to wrap around your throat. There’s no sign of any struggle, the glare still prominent on your face. “Feisty thing. Gotta keep up with those wild boys somehow.”
The hand tilts your face just slightly, showing the mark on your neck. It is you, not that John doubted that from the beginning. It may have been almost two months, but he wouldn’t forget your face that easily.
“Like I said,” Graves continues. “Follow your orders and she’ll be released unharmed.”
The screen goes dark and John resists the urge to throw his phone. He shoves it back into his pocket, turning towards the wall of the plane. He throws his fist against the metal as hard as he can. It hurts, but he can barely feel it over the rage burning hot in him.
“Fucking Shepherd!” He shouts, rearing back to throw his hand against the wall again.
Graves has his omega. Graves has his omega and now you’re being used as leverage. They’re all being played like puppets.
A hand catches his fist before he can punch the wall again, easing him back. “Easy.” Kyle says, trying to soothe him as best he can. “We have proof of life, we know that she’s alright for now.”
“For now.” He growls, looking around at the members of his team. “But for how long?”
“They knew we’d go after Shepherd as soon as we learned the truth.” Simon says. “This has been in the plans for a long time.”
“They’re trying to get us to make a choice. Focus on getting our omega back while letting Shepherd escape, or go after Shepherd and let our omega be tortured.” Kyle says.
“Those fuckin’ wankstains.” Johnny says, shifting on his feet. He’s angry, the bitter scent filling the enclosed area of the plane. They’re all angry, angry at those responsible, and angry at themselves for falling for it. “They were usin’ us the whole time.”
John lets out a long breath. It’s a hard decision to make. Go after Shepherd and cut the head off the snake, or go after you and let the person orchestrating all of this escape. Graves won’t stop, even if they do manage to take out Shepherd. He has his orders, and he will follow them, with or without Shepherd pulling the strings.
There might be a second contingency. They kill Shepherd, you die too.
No matter what, you won’t be safe. If they go after you, Shepherd escapes and if they try to hunt him down later, he’ll use you again, or worse. They don’t have to kill Shepherd, though. They have proof he’s a traitor. He can be brought to justice if he’s caught. Death is too gentle of a punishment for what he’s done. He deserves to rot in prison for the rest of his life.
They have to make sacrifices for the good of the world.
“We’re going after Shepherd.” He says, taking a deep breath. “None of us will be safe if we don’t.”
“That’s dangerous, John.” Kate says. “We don’t know how far Shepherd or Graves will take this. You know how Graves is. He may not be able to be stopped, even if Shepherd tells him to.”
He takes a second to breathe. His pack is silent, all three of them staring at him, waiting for him to make this decision. He is pack alpha, he is their Captain. They do what he tells them to do, follow his orders no matter what. Kate is right, this is a risk, but sacrifices have to be made. Hands have to be dirtied to keep the world clean.
He just hopes you’ll forgive him.
“We’re going after Shepherd.” John says definitely.
“This is a bad idea, John.” Kate warns him.
“It’s the only option we have. They’re trying to draw us away. It’s a risk we have to take.” He can see the apprehension on his packmate’s faces. They’re all feeling it, the drive to go after their omega, but deep down he is right. They’ll never be safe until Shepherd is taken care of. Going after Graves only removes one small piece of the puzzle. The job always comes first.
“Get us locations, places he might try to dig in and hide.” He says, heading towards the cockpit. “We’ll find this arsehole and kill him ourselves.
***
Kate lets out a sigh as the comms close off. It’s a mistake. She knows it is. The guilt is eating her alive. She fell for this, she brought you into this, and now you might get hurt because of it. How she didn’t see the reality has shame burning through her. They were all blind, all led astray, all fooled by the red herring.
There was never an initiative. It was never about strengthening packs. It was always about control. They wanted a way to control packs. Shepherd knew if the secret ever came out, there would be no stopping the consequences. Legal or illegal, retribution would come for him if the truth was revealed.
This was his way of stopping it.
That's why the 141 were the guinea pigs.
They are the most dangerous threat to Shepherd, and he handed them a way to control them under the guise of strengthening packs, experimenting on how their dynamics and efficiency would shift with an omega added in. Even worse, they all fell for it.
John is making a mistake. Graves won’t stop so long as Shepherd knows they’re coming after him. The last thing she wants is for you to get hurt because of their decisions, their mistakes. Shepherd won’t order Graves to kill you. That’s too much of a risk. It would give the 141 nothing to lose, and that would put them at their most dangerous.
Will Graves listen to that order?
She can send out a team to get eyes on Graves, find his position at least. That way, if things do take a turn, she’ll at least have a direction to point them in.
They were all too trusting and ignorant. You’re innocent in all of this.
It’s her fault.
They’re going to need help.
Christine can’t sit still anymore. She can't take it. It’s been almost eighteen hours since your disappearance and there’s been nothing. No word, no news. She knows you’re alive. Kate had confirmed that, but that hasn’t eased the burning questions eating away at her mind. What is your current state? Who took you and why? Where is your pack and are they even aware of what’s happening?
She’s been sitting and twirling her thumbs. She can’t bring herself to do any paperwork, any research. What is there to do besides sit and worry? She doesn’t have a patient to take care of because she lost the one she was supposed to watch.
She huffs out a breath, pulling her phone out of her pocket and dialing Kate. If Kate won’t call, she’ll call herself. Kate’s probably busy though, so Christine can’t blame her too much for not calling. She’s probably so far from the front of Kate’s mind right now.
The phone rings twice before Kate answers, sounding tired and disheveled, just as much as Christine feels.
“Laswell.”
“Kate, I need to be there.” She doesn't hold back, doesn’t try to make small talk. There’s no time for it. She knows how Kate is doing, and it’s not great.
“Christine, I don’t know if I can take that risk.” She says.
“I need to be there. I can't take sitting around here anymore, and when you find her, she’s going to need someone she knows there, someone that knows how to take care of her.” Christine lets out a breath, the relief of getting her thoughts out taking some of the weight off her shoulders.
Kate sighs, but she has to know Christine is right. She’s not sure what state you’re in, and depending on how bad it is, and where your pack is, you’re going to need her. Even if you think she was behind this. “I’ll have a plane ready to go in thirty minutes.”
“Thank you, Kate.” She says, letting out a sigh of relief.
“Don’t miss the flight.”
Christine hangs up, gathering a couple things from her office before closing and locking her door. She nearly runs to her barracks, packing a bag quickly. She’s not sure what to bring, or how long this will take. She’s not even sure exactly where she’s going.
She hurries to the airfield, phone in hand. She’s not sure where the plane is or which one she’s taking. She’s just relieved Kate is doing this for her.
Her phone buzzes as she reaches the tarmac, making her puse. She lets out an annoyed sigh before answering the call.
“Of course you have to call at the worst possible moment.” She says.
“I’ve always had the worst timing.” Alex’s voice comes through the speaker, and she can almost hear the smile on his face.
“I can’t talk long. I’m about to board a plane.” She says.
“I know. We’ll pick you up on the tarmac.”
She blinks in surprise. It’s been years since she’s seen her brother, months since she’s spoken with him. Ever since he retired from Delta Force, his regular calls have been happening less and less, and they’ve reached near radio silence over the last couple years. Now he’s involved in this too?
“Kate called in a favor.” He continues, and that’s all she needs to know. “We’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Yeah.” She says, tears brimming in her eyes as she smiles. Despite everything, she’s glad she gets to see her brother again. Glad she has some support in this. Your pack will be mad. They’ll blame her. She’s not afraid of them, but she knows Alex will stand behind her no
**Content Warning: light torture, ‘mega gets punched, further injury to previous injuries, panic attack**
Your hands are starting to go numb. The constant attempts to free yourself from the zip ties isn’t helping, but you’re beginning to get twitchy. Your omega is scratching at the back of your mind, begging to be free, but you know you won’t survive it. The room is full of armed mercenaries, and you’re sure if you tried to take out Phil first, you’d be pumped full of bullets before you could even do any damage.
He’s leaning against the wall far too casually, staring at the phone he’d used to record the first video of you. His explanation had been simple. Your pack stops going after General Shepherd, you don’t get hurt. The longer they chase Shepherd, the more Phil gets to torture you until they decide your life is worth more than Shepherd’s.
Will they choose you over Shepherd? What if they’ve already decided to abandon you? What if your fears were right and they’ve given up, and that’s why they were gone so long? They won’t care what happens to you, if they have written you off as a burden, as a loss. They’ll let Phil torture you to death and they won’t even blink an eye. You’ll just be another casualty.
It makes your stomach hurt, the idea of your pack letting you die. Even the idea of someone who had once been a friend of your family being so cold towards you has nausea bubbling in your belly. He doesn’t care. His only worry is money, not the past. He doesn’t care. He’ll do the bidding of whoever offers the highest price.
He lets out a sigh, pocketing his phone as he pushes himself off of the wall. “Looks like your boys don’t follow orders well.” He bends down, putting his hands on his knees so he’s face to face with you. “They’ve decided to leave you here with me. Looks like Shepherd was wrong. They don’t really care about you as much as everyone thought they did. Makes me sad, them abandoning you so easily.”
You try to ignore his words, try to convince yourself he’s doing it on purpose, trying to mentally break you. Yet you can’t deny those words play exactly into your doubts, your fears. Have they really left you here, choosing Shepherd over you? Would they decide to do that? How easy had that decision been made?
Tears blur your vision as you stare up at Phil, your eyes burning as you try to put on the bravest face you can. You won’t let him have the satisfaction of knowing he’s getting to you, playing into your fears.
“Unfortunately, that means I have to hurt you.” He stands up straight, staring down at you for a moment before pulling his fist back, hitting you across the face.
You see stars for a moment, your head snapping to the side. The left side of your face is numb, the taste of metal flooding over your tongue. You’re bleeding, blood pooling in your mouth. A hand grips your chin, pulling you back so you’re sitting up straight in the chair. You stare up at Phil, the fear fading away to anger as you glare up at him. Your face is throbbing, and you know it’s going to swell and bruise later, more than it already has thanks to Corporal McKinney.
Traitorous bastard.
They all are.
“I do feel bad for hurting that pretty face.” He says, stroking your jaw with his thumb.
The movement is impulsive, the anger becoming too much. You spit the blood in your mouth in his face, the droplets splattering across his skin. He turns his head away for a moment, bringing his other hand up to wipe at the blood.
“That wasn’t very nice.” He says, looking down at you.
“Fuck you, you fucking creep!” You yell, kicking at him with your bad leg.
He releases your face, catching your leg easily. He pushes his thumb against the bullet wound, all the fight leaving you as pain tears through your body. You let out a scream, trying to pull your leg away but he won’t let you. He holds his thumb there as you scream, the tears streaming down your face.
“Okay, okay please! Please stop!” You beg, the pain radiating up into your hip and side. You can’t take it anymore, your brain starting to go fuzzy as you hyperventilate.
He releases your leg, his hand wrapping around your throat to lift your face. The tears are streaming down your cheeks, mixing with the blood from the cut on your cheek. There’s no sympathy, not even regret in his eyes as he stares down at you.
“I don’t want to hurt you, but if you can’t behave, I’ll have to do just that.” He releases you as you continue to hyperventilate, your eyes starting to glaze. You’re distressing. Will Phil help you? Will he do what he has to do to keep you alive? If you die, there won’t be anything stopping your pack. The entire plan will be over. They’ll go after Shepherd, then they’ll hunt down Phil.
Cold ice water hits you in the face, shocking you back into clarity. Phil is holding the cup of water he’d been letting you drink from periodically. You blink at him as water drips into your eyes, your breaths hitching but far slower than they had been. You’re awake and aware now.
You didn’t even know it was possible to do that.
“Don’t distress on me now.” He says, putting the cup down. “We have so much ahead of us.” He moves around to the back of your chair, bending down until his breath hits your ear. “Besides, you make me help you out of distress, I might not be able to stop myself.”
Your eyes pinch closed as his lips brush the shell of your ear before he stands back up, tears mixing with the icy water still sliding down your face.
Christine nearly runs down the ramp once the plane has stopped on the runway. She’s jet lagged and worn out after eight hours of worrying, but she’s eager not only to finally get some news on you and your status, but to see her brother for the first time in a long time.
It’s not hard to find him.
“Chrissy!” He grins, hugging her tightly.
She has half a mind to complain about the nickname she’d endured her entire childhood, but she can’t find it in her as she hugs her brother tightly. She’s missed him, more than she realized. Their jobs have kept them busy, her with her medical studies and practice, and Alex with...whatever it is he does.
“It’s been far too long.” She says, pulling away from him. She’d love to stand there and hug him for an hour, but she can’t. They have more important things to do. Time is of the essence, if her worst fears are true.
“A lot has happened, a lot has changed.” He says.
She looks him over, spotting the more noticeable changes in comparison to the last time they were face to face. “You could say that.”
“We can talk about it later.” He turns to the other person with him, a woman. “Christine, this is Farah.” He introduces her. “Farah, this is my baby sister Christine.”
“Nice to meet you.” Farah says, shaking her hand.
“You as well.” Christine looks between them for a moment. She knows that look in Alex’s eyes as he looks at Farah.
“We should get moving.” Farah says, ignoring him.
“Laswell has moved off the grid.” Alex says, opening the driver’s side of the SUV.
Smart, if things are as bad as she thinks they are.
Christine gets into the back, letting out a long breath. She’s closer now to finding out what’s happened to you. The guilt is still eating her alive. If she just hadn’t left, if she hadn’t believed the phone call, put it above your safety.
Things might have been worse if she had stayed.
“Kate filled us in about everything.” Alex says as he drives away from the airfield. “At least in regards to the pack and your involvement.”
“There’s some things she’s not telling us.” Farah says. “Though if things are as bad as they sound, I don’t blame her.”
“I don’t know much of anything.” Christine says, staring out the window as they drive out of the city. “I feel like it’s my fault. If I hadn’t left her alone...”
“It’s hardly your fault.” Alex says, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. “If this was all planned, there wouldn’t have been anything that would stop it from happening.”
“They might have done worse if you had stayed there.” Farah says, speaking Christine’s own fears aloud.
“I wish I could see her. Make sure she’s alright.” Christine says. “If something happens to her...”
“From what I hear she’s a hardy omega.” Alex says, trying to comfort her. “She’s withstood a lot. She can survive the 141, she’s probably giving them hell as we speak.”
**Content Warnings: light torture, choking to the point of almost passing out, blood, very detailed descriptions of pain, non-fatal stabbing**
It’s getting hard to breathe. Phil’s grip around your throat is getting tighter and tighter, less and less oxygen getting to your bloodstream and your brain. Your mouth has an almost permanent metallic taste as blood drips down your chin. Blood stains Phil’s arm from where you bit him, teeth marks red and angry looking from where they broke the skin.
“You fucking bitch.” He growls, jaw clenched. “Your alpha should have taught you some manners.”
His hand squeezes tighter, cutting the air off entirely. You begin to panic, tugging against the restrains with your raw, cut up wrists. Black dots begin to dance in your vision, your legs straining against the zip ties keeping them attached to the chair. Your hands and feet are going numb, your entire body tingling. This is it. You’re going to be choked to death.
He holds his hand there for a moment, letting you struggle before he lets go and you suck in a gasp of air. You slump over in the chair, blood splattering on the floor as you cough, your throat raw and sore. Tears burn in your eyes as you heave, trying to get the oxygen flowing through your body again.
Phil bends down to your level as you sit there, head hanging as blood drips from your mouth. Your tongue is raw from how many times you’ve bitten it. It’s impossible to tell how much time has really passed. There’s no windows in the room. The only light source is the cracks around the door behind you. Even then with the bright light in your face constantly, it’s hard to tell anything anymore.
“Feisty still, but everyone has their limits.” His hand cups your chin as he stands, lifting your face to follow him. His hand holds the back of your head up as he wipes at the blood under your nose and on your chin almost gently.
Tears stream down your cheeks as you stare up at him, unable to even care anymore that his hand is so close to your neck. All he has to do is move it down just slightly and squeeze and you’ll be unaware of anything around you, at the mercy of his bidding.
That would almost be a relief.
He dumps another icy cup of water over your head, keeping you from slipping too much into a panic. The cold water stings the cut on your chest and the one on your arm as it slides down your shoulders. You’ve lost the ability to feel the throbbing in your calf, numb to most of the pain in your body.
Why haven’t they come for you? Where is your pack?
Have they written you off for good? Was finding Shepherd more important than you?
Phil’s phone goes off, your stomach dropping. He stares at the screen for a second before turning back to you.
You shake your head, the tears cascading down your cheeks. “No,” You start to shake. “No, please-”
“You know I have to, darlin’.” He moves behind you, tugging on your hair to keep your head up as one of his men stands in front of you with a phone in hand.
He counts down on his fingers before pressing record.
“Seems you boys still can’t follow orders. Your omega sure wishes you would.” Phil says as he reaches around your head, holding your chin in his hand. He tilts your head back making you look up at him. “Don’t you, darlin’. Tell them. Tell them how much you wish they’d follow orders.”
You’re still crying, unable to stop as you stare at the camera. They really have given up on you. They’ve deemed you unworthy of saving. They’ve let you sit here and be beat up and tortured all because they put the job first.
They really have given up on you.
Are they even watching?
“Please,” You croak out, half begging your pack to care, half begging Phil to have mercy.
“Since you can’t seem to bring yourselves to care about your own omega,” He shifts slightly, someone handing him something behind you. You catch a glint of metal, your heart rate picking up. You’re panicking, breaths coming in shaky gasps. You know he can do worse. He’s threatened worse, but what is he going to do? “It seems you need a little more...motivation.”
You try to wiggle out of his grasp in panic, wrists bleeding again from tugging at the zip ties. They’re coated in your blood, your leg throbbing but you don’t care. You need to get away, get free. “No, no-”
You let out a scream.
It’s sharp and piercing, but nowhere near the sharp pain in your neck. It fires through your very nerve endings, making you aware of the very cells in your body. It shoots up into your brain, igniting every neuron in your brain. Your very blood feels like it’s boiling, your skin on fire from the pain. Every inhale feels like you’re breathing in sand, and every exhale is like glass shards dragging through your lungs and up your throat. The tears streaming down your face may as well be slicing through layers of skin, every wound pulsing and throbbing with a new kind of angry vengeance.
You’re sobbing, nearly choking on air as the pain continues to pulse in your body. It’s too much, every sensation inside and outside of your body meshing together in an agonizing harmony.
“Shhh.” Phil tries to shush you as he bends down, his cheek resting against the side of your head. “I know, I know. You’ll be alright.” He presses a kiss to the side of your head before letting you go limp in the chair.
Your scream still hangs in the air even after the video ends.
It’s otherwise silent in the room, all eight of them feeling the weight of their decisions on their shoulders. The scents in the air are full of pain and regret and guilt and anger.
“Was that fatal?” Kate asks, breaking the tense silence.
“No.” Christine chokes out, her voice shaky. Her hands are trembling where they’re tucked against her sides. Her arms are crossed over her chest, trying to bring herself some kind of comfort after what she had just watched. “He went for the scent gland. It’s not a fatal injury, unless you go too deep, but he knew what he was doing.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “It’s just incredibly painful.”
Her words hang in the air for a moment, all of them still trying to process what they had just seen.
John slams his hands on the table, all of them jumping. “I fucking told you.” He says, his voice laced with the deep growl of his alpha. “I fucking told you Kate, she should have been flown out here as soon as you made the call.”
“I know.” Kate says, undeterred by his anger. She’s seen it many times, though she’s rarely been on the receiving end of it. “I know, I made a bad call. None of us knew they would take it this far.”
“But we knew something was going on behind the scenes.” John says, still radiating anger. “All precautions should have been taken.”
“There was no guarantee her being here would have stopped them. She might not have been any safer here.” Kate says, trying to ease his anger, even though she knows it’s completely warranted. “This goes far deeper than we thought it did. Even before this plan was set into motion.” She waits a moment, letting the air settle. “A year ago, a convoy was smuggling missiles and other weapons into the Middle East in an off-the-books operation. The convoy was attacked and the missiles and arms were stolen by a Russian PMC group. The operation was conducted under the command of Shepherd, and the soldiers in the convoy were all Shadow Company.”
“That’s how Graves is tied into this.” Kyle says.
“It goes deeper than that.” Kate says, pulling up a file and displaying it on screen. “The missiles and weapons being smuggled weren’t being sent to aid allies in the Middle East. Shepherd sold them to AQ and the Russians. The PMC group that attacked Shadow Company was hired by Shepherd to make it look like an ambush.”
“Fucking weasel.” Simon growls.
“I don’t know how much Graves knows, or how much he helped hide the entire operation, but his ties to this go even deeper.” Kate says, and they all shift closer. “Graves has history with your omega.” She says, pulling up an old photo. “We combed through one of her brothers’ Facebook pages. Found an old photo of her dad with Graves. They served on the same base when her family lived in Texas before Graves left to join MARSOC. She would have still been a child at the time.”
They stare at the photo, Graves clearly identifiable as he stands next to another man, beers in their hands. There’s two other boys in the photo, young and grinning at the camera. Standing in front of Graves is a little girl, a happy grin on her face. They’re all in various combinations of red, white, and blue.
4th of July, they assume.
“That’s how she got into the institute so fast.” John says, staring at the photo. He’s never seen a photo of your father before. You must take after your mother. “Graves pulled the strings.”
Kate nods. “He did, but under the condition he would be the one to claim her when she grew old enough. The CIA wiped out that claim when they froze her file.”
The 141 all shift on their feet, sharing looks. John feels a sick twisting in his stomach at the implications. Your position in the photo suddenly makes sense. Anger burns in him, deep and bubbling like magma. He’ll kill the bastard.
“This is revenge then.” Johnny says.
“In a way, I think.” Kate says. “We took away what he wanted. Graves wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity. He’s not afraid to get his hands dirty.”
“This all is what the initiative was created for.” Christine says, leaning against the table. “A contingency in case this all was uncovered.”
“A way to control us.” Kyle says.
Kate nods. “Yes. It was all a plan to give the 141 a weakness, a way to be controlled should the situation arise. In this case it just so happened to be the uncovering of his traitorous arms deals.”
“We were all pawns in this.” Christine says.
“We let them walk right in and take control like that.” John says, turning to Christine. “You let them walk in and take our omega.”
She turns to face him, undeterred by his agitation and anger. “I did what I thought was right at the time. I got a call from one of the front desk workers in the med center saying that someone was waiting in my office for me.” She explains. “They wouldn’t say who it was, and the whole thing felt off. I knew whoever would be visiting me was not going to be friendly, so I felt it was safer to leave her in the barracks than take her with me and risk something happening in a place she doesn’t know well. In the barracks at least she’d know places to hide and barricade herself.”
She takes a deep breath, still facing down John fearlessly. He’s coiled tight like a spring, ready to jump at any moment should he deem it necessary. It’s those protective instincts, the knowledge that his omega is somewhere else, taken unwillingly and being tortured feeding into that need to fight.
“My office door was open when I got there.” She continues. “I always leave it locked. I went in prepared to fight, but I was attacked from behind. Hit over the head and drugged with something fast acting, something that would keep me incapacitated long enough for him to strike.” She stares up into his eyes, projecting her scent just a bit to try and get him to calm down. “We all made mistakes here, things we thought were the right choice at the time.”
She’s not wrong. They all know it. They had just seen proof of it.
“The assailant?” John asks, turning back to Kate.
��Corporal McKinney.” Kate says. “He was in Shepherd’s pocket from the start. Someone who could watch first-hand. Someone who could sneak into the barracks unnoticed without many questions. He was likely the one that put the cameras up.”
“Fucking wanker.” Simon growls. “He approached her once in the mess. Early on. Tried to introduce himself to her. Backed off as soon as I intervened. Never tried again, at least that we know of.”
“She never mentioned him.” Christine says. “Or anyone else on base that might have tried to approach her.”
“Where is he now?” Kyle asks. They’re all angry, frustrated. How had they not seen this happening?
“Local police tracked his car to an abandoned airfield not far outside of Hereford.” Kate says. “He was dead inside. Police ruled it suicide.”
“I’m sure it was.” John says.
They all know it wasn’t.
“Shadow Company likely picked her up from there with orders to stage a suicide.” Kate says.
“One less loose string to worry about.” Simon says. “Covers their tracks in England.”
They all go quiet. How this had all happened right under their noses? They’re all guilty of falling for it, for being too trusting in a world they know they can’t be too careful in. Allies can turn on a dime and become enemies. Betrayals can be easily bought. Things can turn downhill within a blink of an eye. They’re supposed to be prepared for the worst, ready for every possibility.
They had written this off as a conspiracy, and now their omega is paying for it.
“We need a plan.” Farah says, breaking the silence.
“We can’t let Shepherd get away.” John says.
“We cannae just leave her.” Johnny argues against his alpha. It’s a brave thing, considering his alpha’s current mental state.
“I don’t know how much more she can take.” Simon backs his beta up, the desperation and pain on your face still visible in all of their minds.
“Let us go after Shepherd.” Alex says, offering up a solution. “He’s obviously watching for you to come after him.”
“We can move undetected.” Farah agrees. “He’s less likely to expect us. You need to focus on your omega. Shepherd will show himself again eventually.”
“Do we have a lead on their location?” Kyle asks, turning back to Kate.
She nods. “We do now. I sent a team out to try and track location through the videos and where they were being sent from.” She pulls a map up on screen. “We have a location.”
“Texas.” Alex says.
“He took her home.” Christine says.
“We have a plan then. We go after Graves, Farah and Alex start tracking Shepherd. Kate is eyes in the sky for us.” John says.
“She’s going to need medical attention as soon as possible.” Christine says. She looks at Kate. “Where is the nearest military base from their location?”
Kate types on her computer. “Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base in Fort Worth.”
“Get me there and I’ll be waiting. She’s going to need someone she knows.” She says, looking at John. “She’s not going to just let anyone close to her after this. She may not even let you close.”
John stares down at her for a long moment. She stares back unflinchingly. She doesn’t get intimidated easily, not after years of dealing with institutes and alphas alike.
He lets out a breath, staring down at her for a long moment before he nods. “I trust you.”
“Short reunion this time.”
“I’m just glad I got to see your face again.” Christine says, looking up at Alex.
“Things are...complicated.” He says. “Maybe after all of this is over we can go and get some coffee. Talk about our lives...as much as we can.”
The corner of her mouth twitches up in a smile. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Alex pulls her into a hug, holding her tightly. “You’re doing good work, Chrissy.”
She shakes her head at the nickname, but she holds him just as tightly. “I’m trying to.”
Alex pulls away, squeezing her arms. “I’d say you are. You care a lot. To the point some might call it a character defect.”
She scoffs, slapping his chest playfully. “Not like you’re much better.” She glances at the car where Farah is waiting patiently. “I’m happy for you.”
“Oh, we’re....” Alex blushes to his ears. “We’re not...”
She gives him a look. “Mhm sure.” She looks up at him one more time. “Be safe.”
“As best I can.” He says. “Take care of yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself either.”
“I try not to be.” She squeezes his hand before stepping away.
She watches the SUV drive off, stomach churning with nerves for both of them. Shepherd is dangerous, but Alex has fearlessly faced down danger since he was a kid. He’s always been brave and determined, loyal and unafraid to do what he thinks is right no matter what. She trusts him to take care of himself, she trusts Farah to help him, even if she only met the woman today.
She trusts them both to take care of each other. She trusts them both to help put an end to this.
**Content Warning: Blood, vomiting, 'mega forces herself into a panic attack**
Your body aches, muscles screaming. You can’t take much more. Your cheek throbs painfully, swollen to the point you almost can’t see out of your left eye. The pain burning from your neck makes the other pain in your body nearly irrelevant, nearly nonexistent. It’s like electricity, burning through your very cells. Every movement seems to make it flare, makes the electric shock jolt through you. The burning pain that follows makes you whimper, a pathetic choking sound squeaking out from your bruised throat.
The pain makes you nauseous, vomit staining the front of your shirt and pants. It’s mostly bile and the little food you’ve gotten since your kidnapping.
Nutrient bars, meant to keep you fed and nourished for a short period of time.
You may never be able to eat them again.
“Fuck.” Graves curses, staring at his phone. “They’ve backed off.” He steps up to you, looking down on your pathetic form. “Looks like your boys do care about you after all.”
Do they? Are they really coming for you, or have they simply given up chasing Shepherd because they lost all their leads. Will they come for you, or will they leave you here to rot? What will Graves do then? Try to take you as his own omega? Kill you out of anger?
Your stomach churns and you can feel the bile rising.
You vomit again, the warm liquid splashing into your lap. You can’t lean far enough anymore, not without the risk of not being able to pull yourself back up, not with the pain burning your every movement. You can’t even lift your head anymore, your body weak and battered and bruised. There’s blood everywhere, on you and on the floor. You can still taste it in your mouth, mixing with the sourness of bile.
Graves gives you a disgusted look before turning to the others in the room. “Duran, Lewis, keep watch. The rest of you come with me.”
He leaves the room for the first time in what you assume is days. For once the cocktail of scents begins to disperse, all but two of the alphas finally disappearing. Where they’re going or what they’re going to do, you don’t know. You can’t bring yourself to care either way. You just want to go home. You want to see your mother again, your brothers and sisters, even your father would be a welcome sight after this. You want your alpha, you want him to hold you, to take you in his arms, keep you safe.
He abandoned you. He left you to suffer like this.
Your breathing picks up as you sit there, chin to chest as you stare at your bloody shirt. The smells in the room are awful, the scents no longer there to block out the sour bile and metallic stench blood. Tears are streaming down your cheeks, pink tinted splatters dripping onto your pants. What are you going to do now? What are they going to do to you now? Will they keep you alive long enough for your pack to arrive then kill you in front of them? Will they torture them too, make them watch as the life slowly leaves your eyes in revenge for chasing after Shepherd?
A sob rips through your sore throat up out of your lips.
You just want to go home.
You just want to be free.
You can be.
Distress. The final defense. The last ditch effort omegas have to save themselves. Distress will lead to your omega taking over, and if nothing else, a quiet death you won’t even realize is happening. Your body will give out and you’ll be safely tucked into the back of your brain, comforted by your instincts. You won’t have to worry anymore. You won’t have to care.
If nothing else, the pain will be over.
I’m sorry.
You begin to breathe heavier, ignoring the pain in your body as you push yourself to hyperventilate. The alphas behind you might do something, might try to stop it. They could, but would they even know how? Would it even work if you got too far? They’re not your alpha. They can’t comfort you, bring you back from the edge without forcing you. Will they even bother?
You tilt your head to the side, putting pressure on your injured scent gland. You sob at the pain, the burning flowing straight into your very cells, making them scream. You push through it, your wrists twisting against the zip ties, digging them further into your already damaged wrists. The pain pushes you to a point of panic, your heart rate through the roof. You can feel it, the tightening of your muscles, your joints locking into place.
You’ve never done it purposefully before, but in this state, it’s not hard.
They left you. They’ve abandoned you. They’ve given up. It’s all your fault they left. They’re not coming for you. You’re not worth it.
The thoughts send you down the spiral, the edges of your vision starting to go dark. You’re floating away, hands and feet going numb as your wheezing, shallow breaths block the oxygen from getting to your brain. You’re sinking, your body floating as you begin to retreat into the back of your mind. The cage is open, your omega soothing you as you drift off, curling up in the back recesses of your mind.
You’re safe now. She whispers.
There’s no going back.
You’re going to get out.
Even if you have to do it yourself.
The last breath you remember taking is shaky, making you cough before your vision begins to fade to grey, then to black. You’re getting out of here no matter what. You’re going to go to sleep. If you fail, you’ll never know it. Your death will be quick and gentle and you’ll never know it happened until you’ve moved on to whatever is next.
You won’t remember any of this. That’s your only consolation.
Your vision fades to black as all memory and awareness leaves you. The last thing you remember is the snap of the zip ties around your wrists as they break.
“Graves has moved with some of his men to the western building. It’s likely the hostage is being held in the eastern building. Gaz and I will go after Graves. Ghost and Soap will try to secure the hostage.”
“Keller is on her way to NAS JRB as we speak. They’re on standby for medevac.”
“Stealth is our priority. They know we’re here, we risk losing the hostage. Quick and quiet, take them by surprise. The faster we do this, the sooner it will all be over.”
**Content Warning: blood and slight gore, someone gets shot offscreen, some gorey and explicit imagery towards the end**
He’s not unfamiliar with high stakes missions. It’s his specialty. He’s cool and calm under stress and pressure, which is why he gets chosen for them. He can detach easily, get the job done and then go home and forget.
So why are his hands shaking?
This isn’t a high stakes mission, not like one he’s used to doing. The stakes are higher, higher than he’s ever had before. It’s not just eliminating some faceless target, it’s not just rescuing some faceless hostage.
It’s rescuing you.
He hates that you were involved in all of this. He hates that they all fell for it, blind to the truth, blind to Shepherd’s traitorous actions. They refused to entertain those conspiratorial thoughts, and now you’re paying for it. He knows why Price made the decision he did, he understands the logic behind it.
He hated it, though.
How far would Graves have taken it if they had chosen to go after you first. Would things have gotten this bad? Or would he still have hurt you, tortured you just out of sheer anger for what happened between the two of you? He wouldn’t give up just because Shepherd told him to stop. He’s ruthless and uncaring of who he hurts and why. He gets his orders and he completes them, no matter what, so long as whoever is giving those orders can pay a high enough price.
How much did he get for this assignment? How much did he settle for once he learned you were involved?
Far too much despite that fact, most likely. Maybe he should become a merc. Less rules and more money.
It’s not a bad idea.
He lasers his focus on the building as they creep through the trees, moving silently. Two against however many are inside. It was impossible to tell with how many were moving between the two buildings constantly.
He brought the whole squad. He planned on putting up a fight regardless.
At least they have the element of surprise on their hands.
“We move silently through the building.” He says as they approach the door. There’s two guards standing outside. “They know we’re inside, things could go downhill quickly.”
“On you, LT.” Johnny says, taking point beside him.
“Drop one, I’ll take the other.” He says, aiming at one of the two Shadows guarding the door.
It’s quick and quiet, their bodies slumping onto the damp dirt. Simon scans the area before moving forward to the door. It’s unlocked, Johnny pushing it open slowly to check for a trip wire.
None.
Sloppy, or perhaps on purpose. They can’t be too careful. Shepherd will have let Graves know they’re not on his trail anymore. He’ll be expecting them.
They split up, combing the bottom floor of the building. He takes out two more Shadows, checking every room for a sign of their target, but they find none.
“Second floor.” He says, waiting at the base of the stairwell for Johnny to join him.
“You think she’s in here?” Johnny asks as they creep up the stairs, careful not to make too much noise.
“Well, we’ll find out.”
It’s far too unguarded to where they’re holding you. Graves will have assumed they’d split up. He must have moved most of his men to the western building to put up as much of a barricade as possible. He can picture Graves standing there, the smirk on his face as he holds a gun to your head. Will he take that risk, shoot you in front of them and give them nothing to live for? Or will he use a knife, letting you die a slow, painful death in front of them?
Or, maybe he moved them to the western building to make them think that’s where you are. Focus their attacks there so they leave you behind. He gets cornered, he send the word to kill you before any of them can get to you.
More red herrings.
He pauses before he reaches the top of the steps, taking out the shadow standing down the hallway. They split up again, looking through rooms at the top of the stairs, making their way down the hallway.
One of the doors is open, and he silently motions for Johnny. He counts down silently in his head before rounding the corner, rifle up as he scans the room. His stomach churns as he looks inside, taking a couple cautious steps forward. He’s seen a lot of things in his time, done a lot of things, but this is different.
“Screaming Jesus.” Johnny says, lowering his rifle as he steps in behind Simon.
There’s blood everywhere.
It’s coating the floors, leaving a sticky residue as it dries. It’s the room you were in. He recognizes it from the video, and the bright light in the corner is a dead giveaway. The chair in the middle of the room has been broken, the wood of the arms snapped off and splintered. There’s four bloody zip ties on the floor, along with several instruments on the floor including the ice pick.
He wants to shove that into Graves’ eye for what he did to you.
There’s two bodies on the floor, one of them dead in a pool of his own blood, the other choking as blood seeps onto the floor under him. He steps up to the shadow, putting his boot on his chest and pushing. The Shadow lets out a groan, coughing up blood.
“Where the fuck is she?” He growls, staring down at the quickly paling face.
“Fucking bitch went crazy.” He chokes out. “Went running.”
Simon steps back, pulling out his handgun and firing two bullets into the Shadow’s head.
“Price, we found the room.” He says into his comm. “The hostage isn’t here. A half-dead Shadow said she bolted.”
“LT.” Johnny says, motioning to the door, the only other exit from the room. There’s a bloody handprint on the door, one too small to be one of the Shadows’.
“I think she managed to get out.” He says, staring at the handprint. His stomach drops, his hand tightening around his rifle. He glances down at the bodies, throats cut and faces bloody. “I think her omega took over.”
“You and Soap go after her. She’ll do the one thing she knows to do, the one instinctual thing she can do if she has nothing to fight.” Price says. “We’ve got Graves cornered.”
Simon pushes the door open, cool air flowing into the stuffy room. There’s bloody shoe prints heading down the stairs. He can see the rapid turn on the concrete below before they head off towards the trees.
“I’ve got a trail.” He says.
“Go.” Price says. “Simon...you know what you have to do.”
He does.
He motions for Johnny to follow before hurrying down the stairs. The longer they delay, the further you’ll get. He doesn’t doubt some Shadows followed you if you made that much of a ruckus. The more time they waste, the more dangerous things get, and not just because they might lose you or the shadows might catch up.
He races towards the treeline, rifle in hand, but there’s no one else standing guard. Price and Gaz will have taken care of those in the other building, and those that were outside probably went after you.
He slows once they break the treeline, trying to catch any hint of your scent that might be left. His only hope is that you’ve left a trail. He’s a tracker, he knows what he’s doing. His senses are stronger, more in tune. He can find you. He can track you down. He has to.
The guilt is eating him alive. If something happens to you, he’ll never forgive himself. He’s right here, so close and yet so far. You’re running on borrowed time and there’s only so much of it left. Eventually you have to slow, eventually your body will start giving up. Will it be too late then? If a Shadow finds you when you can’t fight back...
“Dead Shadow ahead.” Johnny says, motioning to the slumped over body ahead of them. “We’re on the trail.”
“Let’s hope she left more markers on the way.” He says, kicking the Shadow, but the stab wound in his neck is all Simon needs to know. “Keep going straight.” He says, continuing on the path they’ve been following. He needs just a whiff, a hint of your scent. Something.
They come across another dead Shadow, this one off to the side of the path they had been following. He turns, making an adjustment before moving forward. Johnny keeps close, both of them watching for more Shadows, or for any glimpse of you. All they can hope is they’re on the right path.
He nearly sets off in a run as he hears a sound ahead. It’s a yowl, almost like a mountain lion. It sends a tingle down his back, his alpha blaring warning alarms. A threatened omega is a dangerous thing. Fierce and protective of themselves, capable of great feats and lethal if you get too close.
It’s you, no doubt.
Price had been right.
He has no choice.
He pushes forward, his steps quick as he makes his way through the bushes. He spots you near a boulder, trying to fight off a Shadow. He’s got the upper hand, using his size against you. You’re getting tired, your movements slowing. Simon aims with his rifle, a shot to the head dropping the Shadow. You drop into a crouch, surveying the trees. You’re covered in blood, a knife in your hand as your wild eyes search for them.
“Distract her.” He says to Johnny. “Make yourself as unthreatening as possible. I’ll go around and get her from behind.”
He doesn’t even wait for an acknowledgement before he’s moving, slipping around to the side of the boulder. Johnny steps into the clearing slowly, holding his hands up, talking to you quietly.
“Easy, kitten. Ye know who I am.” Johnny is careful not to get too close, his steps slow as he moves to the side, getting you to turn. “We’re just here to help ye. Get ye home and safe.”
You’re holding the knife up, brandishing it at Johnny. Simon isn’t sure if you’ve ever thrown a knife before, but he doesn’t put it past you to try in this state.
He hopes Johnny’s reflexes are fast enough.
He slips out from behind the boulder as you pause, wasting no time as he races up behind you and grabbing you before you can bolt or go for Johnny’s neck. You let out another yowl, struggling against him as he wraps an arm around your chest. Your teeth sink into his arm and he lets out a curse, but he doesn’t let go. He lets go, they won’t get another chance. It’ll be too late.
He doesn't want to do it. His mind flashes back to his father and mother, one of the few times his mother fought back. It hadn’t lasted long before her body went limp, practically a ragdoll in his father’s hold. Simon had grabbed Tommy and ran, barricading them in his room. They didn’t want to see what was going to happen next.
He doesn’t want that kind of control over you, he doesn’t want to put you through that trauma. The disorientation, the fear, the confusion. That must have been what it felt like after being sedated during your heat. You had been sick for days, crying in Johnny’s room. He had heard every sob, every attempt to soothe you.
He put you through that. He made you face that down despite the fear on your face as Johnny escorted you to the med center.
And now he has to do it again.
He has to this time. He has no choice. His only other option is to let you die. Price will never forgive him. Johnny won’t even look at him again. He’d betray them worse than you did, worse than Shepherd, worse than Graves.
You never really betrayed them in the first place, though.
You were afraid, untrusting of them, unsure because of your past. He had been foolish to blame you, foolish to think it was somehow your fault. You acted out of fear, out of terror. How you must have felt in those moments when that beta showed up, when you faced down Shepherd alone, when you returned to find your space invaded and those cameras all over your room. They weren’t there to protect you, they weren’t there to support you. They left you alone and you hid it from them because you didn’t know any better, because you were so afraid.
He’s a goddamn fucking prick he’s been.
Tears blur his vision as he tucks his free arm behind you, shifting your position just enough so he can get his hand around the back of your neck. You kick out with your legs, releasing his arm, your head tilting back in a last ditch, instinctual effort to protect yourself.
His eyes squeeze closed as you let out a yelp, his fingers digging into the back of your neck. It’s hard enough it will leave a bruise, but he has to be sure. It’s the only thing that might save you. It’s his only option, his only chance to keep you alive.
“There you go.” He says quietly into your ear. “Need you to relax for me.”
Your body goes limp in his hold, head resting back against his hand as he holds you there. Your muscles twitch as the tension leaves you, eyelids fluttering before they close. His arm stings where your teeth had sunk into his skin, hard enough to draw blood, but he doesn’t care.
“Keep resting.” He says, easing his hand from the back of your neck as he shifts you in his arms. “Gonna get you somewhere safe.”
You’re like a ragdoll in his arms as he lifts you up, cradling you against his chest. You’re warm, hair sticking to your forehead.
“Call it in.” He tells Johnny, his eyes still glued to your face. “We need that medevac now.”
“Price, we got her.” Johnny says into his comm. “We need medevac stat.”
You look so peaceful despite the blood soaking your body. Partially yours, partially the Shadows you killed in your escape. You look like a gruesome painting, a gorey depiction of an omega pushed too far. Something they’d put on display in a museum, a photo that would win prizes in celebration of such a natural state caught on camera. It would be circulated for decades, something talked about centuries from now.
A raw view of humanity’s inner beasts.
He can’t stand it, seeing you like this. They did this to you. They are the reason you’re like this. They made the bad call in the end, they put you through this. You won’t forgive them, not after everything. You went weeks without them, without a word and then this happened. Innocence tainted in the blood of the guilty. The bloodstained omega held in the arms of the blood-tainted alpha. He should be the one covered in their blood. He should be the one carrying the weight of torture and desperation on his shoulders.
The guardian dog covered in blood in the name of protecting his innocent sheep.
How he’s failed you. How they all failed you.
He pushes past the pain, past the grief, past the guilt and the horror of what they did to you, what they put you through.
They’ve got you back. You’re safe.
It’s over.
NEXT ->
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#call of duty#call of duty fic#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#tf 141 x reader#John price x reader#captain price x reader#Simon Riley x reader#Ghost x reader#Kyle Garrick x reader#gaz x reader#soap x reader#John mactavish x reader#a/b/o#alpha/beta/omega dynamics#omegaverse
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mr reca fic where he’s suffering a creative slump due to the lack of good scripts (by his standards) from various screenwriters. he feels himself going positively insane with every script he’s given.
it’s too dull. it’s too predictable. this one has no creative flair whatsoever!! that one just doesn’t spark enough imagination!!!
it’s troublesome, really. some think he’s really going through it, while others believe the scripts he’s been given won’t bring him enough money. but really, who cares about monetary value when it is he who cannot even begin to picture himself enjoying the process that comes with each script?
and so that is how he finds himself wandering around aimlessly. sometimes the outdoors is necessary for the mind, and who knows? perhaps he really will find something that will give him a spark. hmm, those trees are looking a little dull. the sky overhead is too cloudy. hm? did he just hear thunder—
something collides into his chest, a choked “oof!” following soon after. he stumbles backwards a little, papers flying through the air around him. he blinks once, twice, at the sight of you on the ground, muttering something under your breath before a sharp gasp escapes you, hastily scrambling to gather the papers fluttering and strewn around.
one such paper falls into his hands. he glances over its contents, skimming through it as he goes to pass it over to you with an apology at the tip of his tongue, only to freeze.
this… this is genius! this is absolutely the pinnacle of writing!! while a little rough around the edges (as drafts usually tend to be), his once clouded mind is now clear, giving way to a blank canvas which slowly depicts the imagery your writing induces. idea after idea pours into his brain as he can visualise exactly what he wants, his body trembling and heart pounding as he insantly fixates on your panicked form still collecting all the fallen papers.
“yes… yes! this is what i was looking for! everything about this is pure artistry! the possibilities are endless, the sky is the limit!!”
this is possibly the happiest and freest he has felt in what seems like eons! seriously, compared to those other mind-numbing scripts this truly is the pinnacle of writing itself.
a laugh full of pure, unadulterated glee escapes him, careful not to crinkle the god-sent paper cradled in his palms. “you! you’re a genius!”
“i’m a wha…?”
he whirls in the direction of the source of the voice, further praises and a proposal for a collaboration on the tip of his tongue, only for his breath to catch in his throat.
you… you’re so radiant! even with that disheveled appearance and absolutely adorable confused expression you’re giving him, he never realised such beauty existed! not only does your writing fill him with endless creativity, but his pounding heart, parched throat and warming skin tells him you’re definitely the main character!
but wait! if you were to be the main character, then would that make him the main character’s love interest? surely he wouldn’t have had such a cliché meet-cute like bumping into each other if he wasn’t the love interest! but what if there is a second love interest? no, no, he can oust them…
you, on the other hand, believe you’re about to get whiplash instead of the man, baffled at how he instantly switched from a maniac to stark silence to muttering senselessly with a dreamy expression.
well, each to their own. you have more pressing matters, and that’s to quickly return home and continue fantasising before you forget the idea! but first, you have to get the last piece of paper back…
“um… sir? can i have my paper back, please?”
in an instant, he kneels in front of you. now that you’re at eye level, he certainly is very handsome. if you didn’t know any better, you would have thought this was some movie or drama plot with him as the main lead! oh, but why is he holding your hands—
“yes, i will spend the rest of my life with you.”
“…what?”
tldr; you’re just a silly writer who daydreams far too much for their own good, and somehow managed to bag top-tier director mr reca with the power of said daydreams. (his ever-growing obsession with you is concerning to say the least but, hey! what genius isn’t at least a little insane?)
#sophie talks : concepts <3#HE IS JUST A SILLY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH COBGRATS FOR FINALLY BEING REAL AFTER SO LONG MR RECA MY LOVE#i wanna turn this into a long fic…. delusional meets delusional….. grrr……#when he sees u for the first time u have the sparkly shoujo filters and everything no i do not make the rules#mr reca x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#mr reca x you#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you
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lumidouce season — ft. wriothesley
for @ficsforgaza kinktober — wriothesley + sex pollen
synopsis: it was supposed to just be a picnic. if there’s still some form of divine power that’s presiding over fontaine, it must really have it out for wriothesley. it was not just a picnic
before you read: 3.5k word count ; female reader ; 18+ mature content ; sex pollen so therefore dubcon ; established relationships ; very slight humiliation kink ; reader is a tease and wriothesley is just miserable tbh ; i made up lore about lumidouce bells built off in-game lore ; reader sits on his lap ; hand jobs ; cum eating ; no prep ; clothed + unprotected vaginal sex ; very slightly public sex (in his office but it’s private) ; creampie ; implied multiple rounds ; not proof read
comments: whoever requested this was rly doing their big one for wrio nation. honestly was so kind and smart of them to do wrio and sex pollen. honestly they’re kind of a mastermind. honestly their brain is kind of big. (it was me. i requested this for wrio nation. but i wasn’t banking on being the one writing it in the end so i can’t promise i did my big one with the writing. also since i sponsored this myself i give myself permission to exceed the word count limit LOL)
Sigewinne’s book (that he borrowed without asking) says the following:
Lumidouce Bell: A serene and tranquil violet flower. It has a light, soft, and lasting scent and is often used for making luxurious perfumes.
Wriothesley reads the words over and over. Luckily, he’s just about smart enough to start piecing together what’s happening without having to consult the head nurse. That would be another nightmare of its own that he’s unwilling to suffer through.
None of this would have happened if he didn’t go up to the surface. Wriothesley hardly ever goes up to the surface. He thinks after today, he might never go up to the surface. If there’s still some form of divine power that’s presiding over Fontaine, it must really have it out for him. This afternoon was supposed to be his attempt at being a sincere, thoughtful, romantic boyfriend. It was supposed to just be a picnic.
Unfortunately, it was not just a picnic.
He decides that starting now, romance is dead, chivalry is six feet under in a coffin, and sunlight and vitamin D can be damned in hell—he’s staying underwater where rusted metal and dingy lighting is the most that can bother him.
You’ll just have to get used to the musky odor of leaking pipes. He’s sure you’ll understand.
“You know, you seem kind of flushed,” you frown, “are you coming down with something?”
The way your hand flattens against his cheek is just cruel. (Innocent and well natured, of course. But by default, based on his rather dire circumstance right now, it’s cruelly poor in timing to have your touch press against his embarrassingly heated skin).
“No,” he croaks, gently swatting your hand away. You frown, eyeing him disbelievingly as he clears his throat. “Th-think I was just allergic to some of those flowers, that’s all.”
Allergic is certainly one way of putting it.
There’s rumors that during a certain season, lumidouce bells make for a rather…alluring perfume scent. Wriothesley has always chalked it up to just that: a rumor. He’s always thought those borderline raunchy advertisements about attracting people to you just by scent alone was a marketing tactic meant to scam people out of their hard earned mora through sex appeal.
Now, he’s starting to think maybe the rumors had some truth to them. Maybe lumidouce bells do have a peak season for harvesting. Maybe they do make for an alluring scent. Maybe they’re the reason for his uncomfortably tight pants and concerningly heated skin.
“Wriothesley, I don’t think it’s just allergies,” you press softly. He’s a bit stubborn when it comes to admitting he’s sick—he can tell from the look on your face, you’ve chalked it up to that. “Maybe we should have Sigewinne take a look at—”
“No!” He practically shouts. You recoil, blinking at him (and perhaps, his audacity) as you register his volume. Maybe there is still some form of divinity looking over him that doesn’t seem to hate him completely because you seem more concerned at his rather panicked tone than the fact that he’s raised his voice at you. He clears his throat and tries again. “I…uh, I don’t need Sigewinne for this. I’m sure she’s busy, anyway. Best not waste her time.”
He flashes you an unconvincingly tight smile.
You raise a brow, unimpressed. “You’re sweating uncontrollably.”
“It’s the middle of summer and we’re surrounded by faulty mechanics in this fortress, can you blame a guy for sweating through his clothes a bit?”
You stare at him and blink. “You’ve been weirdly fidgety, too.”
“You’re just so beautiful, I can’t help it. You know what they say—every day feels like the first time with the right person.”
This time, the smile he flashes you is a tad bit flirtier that you almost believe it. Almost.
With an exasperated sigh, you pull his chair away from his desk—much to his dismay—and move to grab him by the arm, “c’mon, Wriothesley. Sigewinne isn’t going to drop dead if we add one more patient to her….oh.”
Yeah, oh, he thinks bitterly. Your eyes have seemed to be caught on his very clear, and very obvious problem. The painfully erect bulge in his pants (that are tight enough to not do him any favors) is clear as daylight.
He really fucking hates the over world right now that if he never seems daylight again, he thinks he won’t be too sad.
And to add insult to injury, he’s leaking pre cum just enough that there’s a slightly visible dark patch over his crotch, the fabric damp and sticky enough that he wants to peel them off of his body.
You stare…and stare…and stare for a couple of agonizing moments before murmuring, “honey, if you were pent up, you could’ve just said so.”
He closes his eyes and fights the urge to pinch his nose in distress. “That…that’s not it.”
“I don’t know,” you say, staring pointedly at his little problem. “You seem pretty frustrated to me. It’s not like I’d complain about taking care of it.”
The words come out a little cheeky at the end. Despite it all, there’s at least a sliver of amusement he can enjoy from this as he cracks a strained chuckle.
“I’m well aware of that,” he mumbles hoarsely. “But…it’s not…this isn’t so simple. Not this time.”
You scrunch your brows in confusion before tilting your head in confusion. He really doesn’t want to have to explain this tragic, unlucky misfortune he’s forced to endure right now, but something gives him the hint that you’re not going to drop this until he either tells you himself, or has Sigewinne come to a conclusion and share her findings.
The latter seems like pure torture compared to the former option, so he resigns himself to his fate.
“Okay…” you trail off, “what is it? You can tell me, you know.” The second part comes out softer. Gentle enough that when coupled with the slow circles your hand rubs into his bicep, he relaxes just a little.
“The flowers,” he grunts. He sounds like he’s pained just from saying it. “They…you know?”
“…I’m not following,” you shake your head. “You’re allergic?”
“No,” he runs a hand through his hair and sighs, closing his eyes as he begs the Gods for a way out. Unsurprisingly, the Gods do not answer. “You know how we were laughing about those perfume ads? That always hint that lumidouce bells in summer smell extra tempting?”
You crack a smile at the memory, giggling as you nod. “Yeah, what a ridiculous scheme,” you snort, “mystérieux et sensuel. These marketing teams really have no shame.”
Your voice mocks the slogan, and he barely chokes back an embarrassed whine.
“Y-yeah, well remember when I smelled one of the flowers as a joke?”
“Yeah,” you shake your head in fond amusement, “you’re shameless too, you know. Is there anything you don’t do for some—”
“I…I don’t think the perfume ads were lying,” he just barely chokes out.
You pause. It’s like he can see the cogs in your brains turning, the rotational force of one gear powering the next until there’s a fully functioning machine that is your mind. And suddenly, as if in slow motion, he watches as the realization sketches itself onto your face.
He hopes the Gods hear his prayers for a sudden death. But he doubts they’re even up there listening to him at this point.
“Oh…” you breathe. “So you’re hard because of the flowers?”
“Sweetheart, please don’t make me answer that,” he rubs his face in exhaustion as he slumps back against his chair and accepts that he’s pretty much just killed his dignity and shattered his ego in one afternoon.
“Okay,” you nod, eyeing him carefully. And then, with a twitch of your lips that seems suspiciously difficult for you to fight back, you add, “I guess you don’t really need to answer that. The evidence is right there.”
Your eyes gesture at his evidently hard cock. Sure, Wriothesley has fucked you plenty of times. And yes, most of those times consist of him being completely exposed to you in the nude. And of course, intimacy in that form means that his body will have a natural response that is rather visible and is something you’ve seen many times over.
But this makes him feel oddly exposed in a way he’s not used to. And he’s still fully clothed for it, too.
“Don’t stare,” he mumbles, words muffled by his hands as he buries his face into them and groans. “Close your eyes.”
“I don’t know if I want to do that,” you hum. Slowly, his chair gets pushed back more, making room for you to climb onto his lap and straddle his hips.
He gaslights himself for his own sake that the sound pulled from his throat as your body presses against his erection never happened. It’s all in his head. None of this is real. He’s seeing this in the form of hallucinations in his dizzy, hazy, sex-induced head that can’t tell what’s real and what’s fake because his reality is tilted on its axis and distorted completely.
(It’s a lie, of course. If anything, his senses are extra heightened and he’s more hyper aware of everything than usual, but believing in his false fantasy is more comforting than facing the truth. He deserves this much for being the Gods’ least favorite, at least.)
“You could’ve just asked me to help, you know,” you murmur, chuckling as you kiss along his jaw. He groans, tilting his head back involuntarily and making room for your lips to explore his neck. “Wouldn’t have had to suffer through those hot flashes if you just used your words.”
“Forgive me,” he mutters sarcastically, “it’s not every day you get aroused against your will by the pollen of some weirdly perverted flower.”
“I don’t know if flowers can be perverted,” you tease, “they don’t have feelings.”
“Well, I do,” he grumbles, “and my feelings are not happy.”
“I can change that,” you grin cheekily.
And with that, comes the sweet, sweet feeling of relief as your hand unbuckles his belt expertly and frees his strained cock. Any other time, and he’d make a smug, teasing comment about how you’re a little too good and too quick at undoing his belt and buttons, but he’s not in any position to do any mockery today. So, instead, he keeps his mouth shut as he inhales sharply at the cold, frigid air that hits his hot, swollen cock.
“Baby, wait—fuck,” he curses as soon as your thumb smears the dribbling pre cum, body tensing under you a you coat his length with his own mess. When your hand wraps tightly around him, giving a slow, teasing stroke, he all but whimpers as his hips involuntarily buck up into your touch. “Oh Gods,” he groans.
“It’s warmer than usual,” you observe as you stare down at his length in your hand. He opens his eyes to throw you a weak glare at that.
“Can you have a little sympathy for my predicament and not make such horrifying observations out loud?”
“Sorry,” you laugh, pecking his lips, “I’ll say them in my head.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“I know what’ll make you feel better,” you murmur, scattering gentle kisses along his face as your hand tightens around him and strokes at a steadier, quicker pace.
He throws his head back, letting his jaw hang loose as free, throaty moans fill the air of his office with every up and down motion of your hand. Your lips are kind though to find his mouth and drink up his sounds, muffling them and quieting the unnaturally high volume they seem to take today.
“F-fuck,” he pants, “sweetheart, faster. Please.”
“Wow,” you hum at he plea, “these flowers must be good. They have you using your manners in the bedroom.”
“We’re in my office,” he hisses, clenching his jaw as your thumb traces along the thick vein along the side of his cock, “you didn’t even give me the courtesy of making it to the bedroom.”
“You didn’t really seem like you had the energy to stand.”
Well, he thinks, you make an aggravatingly good point. When this is all said and done, he’ll make sure to repay your clearly well-amused comments with some kindness of his own. But for now, his hips frantically buck up to meet your pace as you let him practically fuck your fist.
It’s a bit of an embarrassingly short period of time before his cock is twitching in his hand and his breaths come out in erratic huffs. The telltale signs of his orgasm are ones you know pretty well, so your grip tightens and your pace quickens like electro meeting dendro before he’s gripping your hips tightly to ground himself as an earth shattering force weaves through his whole body.
His muscles stiffen and his jaw slacks as he quivers under you, letting out a muffle whine against your lips as you kiss him through his high to quiet him—the last thing either of you needs is to add to his already blown ego and have someone overhear your business from outside his door.
“Ngh, sh-shit, baby,” his voice cracks, “you’re so good. So, so good, you know that? So fuckin’ good at that—don’t stop.”
“You’re extra nice when you’re needy,” you hum, one hand working his cock through his peak while the other finds the sweaty locks of dark, messy hair to card through.
“You’re extra rude when I’m suffering,” he shoots back.
“I’m sorry,” you say—it’s not very apologetic at all. He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he slowly catches his breath after he finishes spilling his seed into your hand.
“No you’re not,” he narrows his eyes accusingly.
You have the heart to at least attempt to make your wounded look seem real as you pout and protest, “I am! See?”
And, as if to prove to him that you are, indeed, sorry, you bring up your soiled hand to lick a strip of his cum off your finger, making his breath hitch in throat before he groans.
He’s already twitching back to life between his legs at the sight. It’s unnaturally fast, that you and he both know it has to still be lingering effects. The pollen is still rooted in his system, blossoming petals of desire all through his skin with thorns that pinprick at his sanity.
This is going to be a long afternoon, he thinks. You don’t seem even a little upset by it, though.
“I’m gonna need a better apology than that,” he murmurs lowly, leaning in to press a kiss right under your ear and grinning as you shiver slightly at the feeling of his breath against your skin.
You didn’t smell the flower or inhale the pollen. But that doesn’t mean the apex of your thighs aches any less after this whole ordeal—in fact, there’s a rather obvious dampness between your own legs that Wriothesley is cutely aware of. His fingers weave between your thighs to press against your clothed cunt, brushing against your clit through the damp fabric as you gasp.
He chuckles, you glare.
“And I think I have an excellent idea of how you could apologize, too,” he winks.
He feels at least slightly better. Even if not completely free of the after effects of breathing in something so strong, he’s at least cleared his head enough to start teasing you again. You’re too desperate to feel him to really care about winning back the upper hand.
You just want to feel him.
Something tells you he just wants to feel you, too.
Two strong hands lift your hips up just enough to slide your skirt up and slip your panties down, exposing your dripping cunt and holding you up to line up your entrance with the thick tip of his re-hardened cock.
“And what would that be?” You blink through thick, batted lashes, eyes dark and hazed with lust as you stare at his own dilated pupils. He hums, teasing your folds over his tip to coat himself with your essence as you bite your lip and shudder.
“I’m sure you could figure it out,” he says weakly.
For all of his smooth words, Wriothesley is dangerously impatient right now. His palms are sweaty, his jaw is tense, and there’s a scrunch in his brows that signals he doesn’t want to wait for what he wants. What he needs.
So you plant both hands on either of his shoulders and slide yourself down his thick girth, letting him split you open as you take him one slow inch at a time. You both inhale sharply at the same moment—you for the intrusion of his length, and him for the tight, warm pressure your walls surround him with.
He’s heard people say that lumidouce bells represent a wish for reunion. He’s starting to think that every whisper he’s heard about this odd plant is fascinatingly true—this reunion of your bodies is something he doesn’t think he’ll ever not wish for.
It’s hot. The air of his office is stuffy, the clothes you’re both still wearing cling to your sweaty bodies, and warm puffs of air between you both as you breathe suffocate you with a dizzying heat.
You sink down and take the final inches of his thickness, feeling him press so deep into you, you think you can feel him in your lungs with every breath you take. He obstructs your air, winding you completely into a breathless mess as you cling to his shoulders, pressing against his chest and latching your lips to his neck in something to distract yourself with as you adjust to accommodating his size.
“Fuck,” you whimper, “s’too big.”
“Easy, sweetheart,” he chuckles, rubbing the small of your back, “you got it—we always make it work, don’t we?”
You nod, shivering as his hands wander from your back to your ass, giving a light squeeze as he groans at the slight clench of your pussy.
“Ready?” He hums.
“Ready,” you nod, finally used to the stretch. It’s not new, but it’s not exactly something you ever get used to.
“That’s a sweet girl,” he coos. “Always so good to me. Always have you to take care of me, don’t I?”
You nod furiously, rolling your hips as you desperately bounce on his cock, trying to angle him to hit the back of your walls where you need him most. “Yes,” you murmur breathlessly, “yes, you…you always have me.”
“So sweet,” he groans, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “Spoiling me rotten, sweetheart.”
His hands squeeze at your hips before firmly lifting you up, almost enough to pull you off of him completely before pulling you down, slamming his tip into the spongy, sensitive spot in your walls that was you whining. He angles you just right—doing the work so you don’t have to yourself, even from under you. You can feel him pulsing in you, the dull throb shared between the heat of both of your legs.
Somewhere along the way, your lips meet his in a messy, heated kiss. Your lips glide against each other, tongues meeting in a breathless exchange as your hips move at the same time as his strong grip pulls you against him. He guides you easily, setting a quick, steady pace and positions you to bounce on his cock so he brushes against every sensitive spot along your quivering walls.
One thrust of your hips. Two. Then three. A fourth, and you’re letting out a shrill squeal as his thumb finds your clit between your bodies, rubbing harsh circles until finally, you fall apart on his cock. Tight, fluttering walls that spasm around him, squeezing relentlessly as your orgasm crashes over you.
“Wriothesley,” you moan, chanting his name through muffled whines against his mouth. He groans, breath catching in his throat in a choke before he spills into you a second time—the feel of you coming undone around him triggering his own release.
“Baby, ‘m cumming,” he mumbles into your mouth, “fuck, you feel good.”
Warm, sticky ropes of cum paint your walls like they’re a blank canvas. You can feel them fill you with every twitch of his cock, your hips rolling lazily in a sloppy attempt to help him through his peak while he grips your waist tightly and squeezes, holding onto you to keep himself grounded.
“Come on,” you whisper, “you look so pretty when you feel good, Wrio.”
He shivers at that. Your quivering walls milk him until he’s shuddering under you, breathless pants and low groans filling the air of his office.
Finally, after what feels like forever, he slumps back against his chair and you slump against his chest, catching your breaths as you finish.
“Was that apology enough?” You whisper, out of breath as your sweaty forehead presses against his.
He lets out a low chuckle, collecting a bead of sweat from your temple with his thumb as he murmurs, “not quite. I think I need some more convincing before you’re forgiven,” he whispers.
His voice is husky against your ear. There’s no sign of a softening cock in your cunt, still hard and throbbing as ever.
You huff out a breathless laugh as you respond, “then let me convince you some more.”
Any grammar errors or typos aren’t my business. That’s between my fingers and the keyboard don’t ask me what happened I just work here
#writing tag#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley x you#wriothesley smut#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin smut#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact smut
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𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬
remus lupin x f!reader
smut. p in v. creampie. unprotected sex. fingering. sex with a friend. language. 18+ content minors DNI.
3.2k - masterlist
summary - reader can't sleep. remus helps out. not with warm milk, though.
i'm supposed to be working on an assignment for college. but remus lupin is taking up space in my brain. so, enjoy :)
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The air feels stuffy, too hot against your slick skin.
You blow a breath out in frustration, a piece of hair stuck to your forehead refusing to budge and you groan. The house is silent apart from the droning on of the electronic device between your legs that does little to abate the feeling clawing at your insides and it only makes you more frustrated. The lights in your bedroom are turned off, the world outside asleep. Everyone apart from you. You’ve spent two hours tossing and turning, and a further half hour trying to cure the ache between your legs.
It’s futile. You’ve tried everything. Every speed your overly expensive vibrator has to offer, every position, you even got out the glittery pink dildo Marlene got you for Secret Santa the previous year, leaving it out to the side after coming to the heart-breaking decision that it simply wasn’t big enough.
You feel like nothing will be big enough. Nothing feels right, nothing feels good enough, nothing is even close to tipping you over the edge. You shift, further to the left, and whine again, pressing the vibrator to a higher speed. It moves as you press the button, and the feeling of closeness is gone just like that. You growl, pushing the blankets off in a fit of rage and choose to stare at the ceiling in defeat. It’s not going to happen. You should just accept that. But you’re worked up, horny, and too fucking clammy.
The flat is quiet. Remus is asleep – the only reason you’re so nonchalant about the noise of your vibrator still buzzing against the mattress next to you, taunting you. You reach to turn it off, sitting up and putting your hair into a makeshift bun. You stare with narrowed eyes at the shadowed outline of the sparkly pink atrocity of a Secret Santa gift. It was given as a joke to make you blush. Your friends like to tease you for your innocence. It’s not something you ever would have bought for yourself. You’d blushed furiously and everyone laughed. It was addictive for the first few weeks, being able to explore your own pleasure. But now. Now, it doesn’t feel enough. Doesn’t feel as good. As big. As filling.
It’s a quick thought, a fleeting thought. A memory that makes your cheeks flush and your eyes close in embarrassment. Remus, fresh out of the shower, two seconds away from closing the towel around his waist. He hadn’t locked the door. It was an accident. You hadn’t meant to walk in on him. You’d been half asleep, bursting for a pee, and he hadn’t locked the door. Even worse, you hadn’t meant to look. But he was wide eyed and frozen, and your fight or flight had you trying to assess every part of the situation. And his nakedness was a large part of the situation.
You’re not proud of it. But you’d looked. And you liked what you saw.
And now.
Well, now, you can’t stop thinking about it. About Remus. Kind Remus who makes you tea on cold mornings, puts your pyjamas in the dryer for you when you get out of the shower, who cooks you dinner and leaves it in the oven when you work the late shift at the café down the road. He’s kind and attentive and always there to lend a helping hand. You feel silly as you clamber off your bed, knowing there’s a high likelihood that Remus will tell you you’ve taken his kindness to its boundaries.
Your feet pad quietly down the hallway of your shared flat. The under counter lights in the open plan kitchen at the end of the hall illuminate the space enough to see. Remus’ door is closed, but you twist the handle and push, wincing when it lets out an annoying squeal. Remus rouses at the sound, squinting sleepily at you as he turns. He lets out a breath, sits up on his elbow and pulls back his blanket to offer you the space beside him.
It’s not the first time you’ve climbed into bed with Remus, but you still shift nervously on your feet, biting at your lip.
“You okay, love?” Remus asks, voice deep and croaky.
It makes you flustered in your reply. Voice quiet, unsure, “Can’t sleep.”
Remus nods, reiterates pulling back the blanket to make room for you. You cross one leg over the other in front of you, fiddling with the metal daisy chain ring on your middle finger. Remus got you it when you got into university last year. It’s your favourite piece of jewellery you own, overpriced tennis bracelet from your overcompensating parents be damned. He catches your nervous tic and his eyes narrow, his head tilts, messy hair flopping sideways with the movement. There’s a slight stubble on his chin from running late this morning and skipping his daily shave and he’s sans pyjama top, having clearly also felt the heat.
He sits up fully and the blanket pools around his waist. His skin glows in the low light of the moon through the window beside his bed. He’s beautiful. This you’ve always known. Now, it’s tenfold because you’ve seen all of him. And all of him is what you want, in this moment. Your face is flames as you edge closer until you’re hovering beside his bed.
“Have you tried warm milk?” Remus asks, his voice almost teasing.
“Don’t want warm milk.” You pout.
There’s something about the way he’s looking at you, trying to sus you out. He knows. He must know something. You’re hardly being subtle. Remus’ lips twitch in a smile when you squeeze your legs together in front of you, again, lip between your teeth, eyes watery.
“What do you want?” He asks, voice breathy.
He wants you to say it. But you can’t. You won’t.
“Rem, please,” You whine, “I’ve tried everything.”
His hand reaches for yours, pulls you until you’re straddling him. His lips are a centimetre from yours, hot breath fanning out over your mouth. You press down hard against him, lips pouted. He doesn’t let up, just raises his eyebrows. A question. What have you tried?
“I couldn’t get the angle right with my vibrator,” You whisper, cheeks bright red and warm to the touch, where Remus’ thumb is gently rubbing back and forth, fingers cupping your wobbling jaw, “Then the thingy Marlene got me wasn’t-“ You huff.
Remus chuckles softly, endearingly.
“It wasn’t enough.”
Remus smiles, “You want my help?”
You nod eagerly, “Please, Rem.”
He’s on you in a second. Lips and tongue and teeth, so hot and heavy it knocks the breath from you. His hands fist the thin material of your shorts, at your waist and you bend into him, hands running up his sides, over his shoulders, into the hair at the nape of his neck. He’s hard beneath the flannel of his pyjama bottoms. You can feel it against the crease of your thigh. It makes you whine into his mouth, shifting until you’re perfectly aligned over him. His grip focusses on your arse cheeks when you grind down, a bruising grip that you relish in.
His hands push you forward, you pull yourself back. His lips leave yours, trailing along your jaw, down your neck. Your head tilts back, panting for breath, lost in the pleasure. Your stomach tightens the harder his grip gets, the harder you press down, the faster you move. You feel like a seedy teenager, dry humping yourself against him. Remus’ teeth nip at your collarbone, only to soothe over it with his tongue. You whine again, making your impatience known, but Remus doesn’t speed up.
He looks up, lips mouthing at the underside of your chin until you tilt your head back up to look at him. His pupils are blown, eyes hooded, lips curved into a sinful smirk.
“So needy.” He mumbles into your lips.
You push down harder in response. Remus grabs your hips, stills you. You pout, doe eyes watery. Remus tuts, shakes his head, “You want my help, we do it my way.”
He shifts until you’re lying beneath him, legs hiked up around his waist. He doesn’t waste time in stripping you. Your shirt, then your shorts, your panties following. He throws them across the room, and they fall into the shadows of his darkened room. You’re glad they’re gone. Your body feels like it’s burning up under his touch, featherlight as he traces the goosebumps across your skin. He presses kisses in the wake of his fingertips, to your collarbones, your chest, the tops of your breasts, your stomach, navel.
His lips are warm, wet, pressing kisses to the insides of your thighs. You’re high strung, keening, and needy. He comes back to face level, and you grumble, deep in your throat. So close. He was so close to where you need him. He’s smug. You’re about to protest when he slides a finger into you. Your mouth opens, head pushing back into the pillow. His fingers are long, but slender, and it’s not long before he adds another. Your back arches, eyes closing. The minute you close your eyes, Remus stops. You look up, furious, to find him smirking something evil down at you.
“Eyes on me, pretty girl.” He whispers, nose bumping yours.
You comply. Remus resumes, fingers pumping steadily in and out. When he’s knuckle deep, he curls them and your body jerks in response. It’s too much and not enough, a dizzying euphoria of Remus’ casual confidence and his skilful fingers. His thumb brushes your clit gently, the bundle of nerves swollen and begging for attention. You moan his name, thighs squeezing against his hips where they’re splayed open. It urges him on, he whispers quiet encouragements – good girl, that’s it sweetheart, you’re so wet for me – and you continue to writhe beneath him.
“Rem,” You gasp, hand encircling the wrist that’s pumping in and out of you, “Need you.”
“Soon,” He promises softly, lips pressing to the swell of your breast, teeth lightly nipping at the skin there, “Want you to come on my fingers first.”
His thumb moves in tighter circles, his fingers curl deeper, move faster. He adds a third, the stretch burns but in the best way. Your jaw opens on its own accord, a string of moans emitting from your throat, and you arch into Remus. His eyes meet yours, blazing with lust.
“C’mon, baby,” He urges, voice sinfully deep, demanding. “Come for me.”
You clench around his fingers, and he groans as you gush around his hand, voice high pitched, your grip on his shoulders vice like. He’s surprised you don’t snap in two with how high your back arches. His fingers pump you through the rush in your veins, his quiet reassurances blacked out by the sound of blood rushing to your ears. Your head spins and you see white as the orgasm you’ve been chasing for what must be hours by now crashes over you. You babble nonsense, buck against Remus’ fingers, mouth open, eyes wide, back arched and head pushed violently into the pillow beneath you.
Remus hovers over you when your breathing evens, eye’s a little less clouded, and his usual concerned look on his face. You smile dopily up at him, eyes bright.
“Good?” He asks.
It’s a double ended question – you good? Was that good?
You nod.
“More.” You whine, attempting to pull him closer with your legs around his waist.
“You’re insatiable.” He laughs lightly, head bending down to peck your smiling lips gently.
You nod in agreement, head tilted as you look up at him, “I’m blaming you.”
“Of course.” Remus nods, placating you.
He shimmies his pyjamas off, kicks them off the end of the bed, and comes back to crowd your space, again. Hard, he’s much bigger than you saw from Shower-Gate. Your mouth waters as his hand wraps around his dick, pumping a few times before looking back to you. His face softens when he notices your lip trapped between your teeth.
“Baby?” He questions and you soften.
“That’s,” You sigh, embarrassed, “That’s not going to fit, Rem.”
Remus laughs, the apples of his cheeks rounding out, his teeth appearing from behind his lips. His head hangs over your shoulder and you hide in his hair, mortified. The hand that isn’t supporting his weight runs softly up and down your thigh. You groan to show your mortification, heels digging into Remus’ tail bone to try kill his laughter.
“Rem,” You protest, letting a chuckle of your own slip.
Remus looks up, eyes soft, lips pressed together to stop his laughter, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, pretty girl. I’m not laughing at you. No one’s ever said that before, you just caught me by surprise.”
You giggle, squeezing his waist with your thighs, “They’ve definitely thought it.”
Remus shakes his head, “We don’t have to.”
It’s your turn to shake your head, “I want to. I really want to.”
He smiles, leans in to kiss you. When he pulls away to pump himself again, you let out a low breath. He brushes the tip against your folds, wet and puffy, a couple times before he pushes in slowly. He groans, you moan. You’re tight, fitting around him like perfection. He goes slow until he’s buried to the hilt. You allow yourself to get used to the feeling, whimpering softly when his thumb comes to circle your clit again, working you up.
“That’s it, baby,” He speaks softly, so softly, and you moan.
He pulls back, pushes back in. Takes it slow. Allows you to adjust.
But it’s not enough. You need more. You need the raw pent-up aggression you’ve seen Remus show pervs at bars when they touch you inappropriately. You need angry Remus, who threw a book at the mantle place when your parents missed another birthday. You need the Remus who tries so hard to hide the aggressive side of him but can never fully rid himself of his primal urges, of that white hot fury and determination.
“More,” You breathe, “Faster. Harder. I need more, Rem. Please.”
You’re babbling, begging. But Remus complies. He snaps his hips forward and you all but scream. He groans, breath hot and heavy against your neck. He’s attentive, hips attacking your pelvis. His wooden headboard slams against the wall, your hand reaching up to hold on and stop you from sliding further up the bed. An arm wraps around your waist, pulling you up, closer to him. He feels deeper at the new angle, hips battering into yours. He’s relentless, hitting every spot you need.
You’re babbling nonsense, but so is Remus. Words of encouragement, words that tell you how good you’re taking all of him, how tight you are, how perfect you are. You’re meeting his every thrust, hips grinding against him, the stubble creating friction that tightens the coil in your stomach.
Remus attaches his lips to your shoulder, biting down as he pounds harder against you. You say his name like a mantra, unable to think of anything other than the feeling of him, all over, everywhere, filling, stretching, pounding.
“Rem,” You whine – so close. So, so close – “Come in me.”
Remus’ head snaps up, pupils blown, mouth hung open. He doesn’t slow down, doesn’t falter, “What?”
“Pill. Just,” You gasp when he hits that spot, “Come in me. Please. Wanna feel it.”
Remus moans. Dirty and deep. He fucking moans.
He’s relentless, sweat dripping from his forehead, he releases your waist, hikes your thigh up over his shoulder, you scream. He urges you, tells you sweet things, details how he’s going to fill you up, bites the skin of your calf. His other hand reaches down, draws tight circles that have you seeing stars. You scream his name, loud enough for the entire street to hear, using the leverage on his shoulder to lift your lower back off the bed.
The feeling is dizzying, all consuming. It’s feverish, frantic, a wild chase to the end.
You clench, he hits the right spot, the sting of his teeth on your calf emulates up your leg, the stomach muscles holding you up clench, and he calls you baby, all at the right time. You see white. It feels like your entire body explodes, lights on fire, crashes and burns. You convulse, twitching and screaming, broken words and moans of his names, clenched vice-like around him.
You’re begging. Begging him to follow, to finish in you, even in your pleasure.
You’re still floating, but coherent enough, when Remus grows sloppy, uncoordinated, drops your leg from his shoulder, falls forward, hands at your sides to hold himself up. He jerks, groans, his head falls into your shoulder, and you whine, happily, dopily, when you feel the white-hot spurts of his come against your walls.
He’s breathing heavily, both your bodies slicked with sweat. He drops his weight onto you, and you welcome him happily. Your legs wrap around his lower back, you both wince with the movement. You can feel the slickness between you both, the way he’s dripping out of you. But you’re comfortable, lips pressed to his damp hair. You trace shapes on his back until he comes to, pushing up to press his lips to yours.
The clock on his nightstand reads four in the morning.
He gets up to leave and you whine, “Don’t go.”
Remus chuckles, “Just going to get a warm cloth. Be back.”
You allow him that, grateful he had the idea. You hear him running the tap in the bathroom and he returns with a warm cloth. He’s gentle when he wipes you clear. You wince and flinch, blushing when Remus presses gentle kisses to your thighs as he works. He whispers softly between kisses how pretty you are, how well you did.
He discards the cloth in the wash basket by his door and returns to the bed.
He groans as he settles, holding his arm out for you to fall into him. You do so, swinging a leg over his thighs. It’s then that you realise you’re both still very naked, and your shyness returns. Remus traces shapes on your arm, tucking his head over yours, lips to the crown of your head.
“I can hear your cute little brain running laps, you know.” Remus teases.
You roll your eyes, push your face further into his neck.
“I just came to you in the middle of the night for sex,” the post coital dread sets in tenfold, despite feeling the most relaxed you’ve felt in weeks, “I’m so sorry, Remus.”
You feel Remus shrug, “Don’t fret, sweetheart. I was more than happy to oblige.”
“But-“
“Get some rest, honey. We can talk more tomorrow.” He assures you, pulling the blanket further up your naked bodies.
You concede, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, the stubble tickling your lips, “Okay.”
He pulls you closer, settles in. You allow sleep to wash over you, let the relaxation in your bones pull you under. It’s a dreamless sleep, a comfortable sleep, wrapped in Remus’ arms.
#remus lupin#marauders#marauders smut#marauders fic#marauders era#remus lupin fic#remus lupin smut#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin fluff#james potter#james potter fic#sirius black#sirius black fic#peter pettigrew#peter pettigrew fic#lily evans#lily evans fic#marlene mckinnon#marlene mckinnon fic#dorcas meadowes#dorcas meadowes fic#mary macdonald#mary macdonald fic#regulus black#regulus black fic#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#fluff#love#smut
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okay sooooo
i had this little thought right
okay so maybe like reader has been a part of the inner circle for a looooong time like since the batboys were kids and they've all been friends forever, naturaly azriel has been in love with her since then, and a few years ago he realised they were mates (she doesn't know)
this one time she walks into the townhouse in just a bra and trousers, casually just walking in drinking coffee while the rhys and cass are just flabbergasted (cass being cass is eyeing the goods real hard because shes always been hot and he knows it) rhys is smirking and all (hes no less honestly)
then az walks in and hes just like what the fuck, she tries to explain smth happened to her shirt on the way and hes just grumbling and takes off his own shirt and is like put this own (cass is naturally making comments that make az's blood boil)
then you can choose where that goes from there
lmfaoooo im so sorry i couldn't get this idea out of my head
its okayyyy if you can't write it!!!
hi! sorry it took me so long to post but i've been really busy with university and only now have i had some free time.
anyway, here it is! thank you so much for this request, i loved writing it!
i hope you like it! 🫶🏻
my hero
summary: a small but very happy incident.
warnings: none
pairings: azriel x reader
words: 2.2k
tick
tack
tick
tack
"ugh," a heavy groan escaped your lips at the sound of the clock. you seated slightly, your head pounding without mercy.
as you looked at the window, your eyes fought against the early sunlight, before adjusting and finally allowing you to fully open them.
it took you a few seconds to remember your surroundings, and to be honest, to remember anything.
the confusion didn't last long when all the memories from last night hit you all at once.
you had gone out for the night with morrigan. you went to rita's for a girls night.
a night with a lot of drinking and dancing and singing and drinking again — mysterious headache solved.
you looked down on you, seeing the shiny short black dress you had chosen for last night specifically.
you passed your hands through your messy hair and took a glance at your bedroom, absorbing the chaos that a very drunk you had caused.
how could just a person cause such a mess?
tick
tack
tick
tack
"ugh!" a loud annoyed groan left your lips again
at the sound of the clock that kept attacking your brain.
before you could think twice, you turned and reached out to punch the clock, causing it to fall to the ground.
you lowered yourself on the bed sheets with an arm over your head.
this was going to be a very long day.
and that's when it you.
your eyes and two seconds later, your legs were fighting against the bed sheets.
after losing that battle, you ended up falling to the ground with a loud noise.
a small 'huff' came out of your mouth before getting up and running to the clock as quickly as possible to check the time.
10:07 am
"oh, shit."
you were late for your internship at the clinic.
"oh, shit."
you quickly begin to look for clean clothes at the same time you try to get rid of your dress.
you manage to find something that looked relatively clean and put it on, your heart racing as you tried to get your hair to not look like a complete mess.
when you finished putting your hair in a more presentable state, you hurried to put on your shoes, but when you noticed the time again, you only managed to put on a sock before grabbing the first pair of shoes in sight and running out of your room.
as you run for the stairs, you didn't have time to react before a body collided with yours and spilled coffee all over your t-shirt.
the hot contents against your skin forced you to let out a small scream and dropped the shoes to the floor as you struggled to pull the fabric of your t-shirt away from your body.
"shit, shit, shit!" you cursed at the same time you blew on your t-shirt.
great, as if your day wasn't already going badly.
"sorry," a small voice said.
you met your attacker's gaze as you looked up to see a beautiful female with green eyes and brown hair — morrigan's friend.
right, you had forgotten that she had come home with the two of you — with mor.
the female looked mortified as you stared at her annoyed. when you saw her opening her mouth to say something, you quickly stopped her.
"don't," you raised your hand at her, you didn't have time for this, "just. . .just go."
you pointed at morrigan's bedroom, whose door was slightly open. the female followed your direction, shrinking a little as she passed through you.
"idiot!" you cursed quietly.
you looked at your bedroom and considered your options: the chances that you may find a new clean t-shirt in the middle of that mess, were very low and you were already late.
so you gave up and made your way down the stairs, starting to unbutton your shirt before completely taking it off, leaving you in your black lacy bra, and entering the kitchen.
rhysand and cassian who had been enjoying a late breakfast found themselves speechless upon your entrance.
their gazes followed you as you moved to the sink and started working on removing the stain.
the males shared a gaze between them, identical smirks forming on both of their faces.
"good morning, y/n." rhysand greeted you as he took a sip of his tea cup.
you jumped startled, your eyes found theirs immediately, "gods, i didn't see you there."
rhysand's smirk grew wider. "oh, we know."
"did you get mugged?" cassian asked as he took in your figure.
you were barefoot with only one sock and shirtless.
"what?" you asked confused.
cassian's eyes roam over your body.
"oh, no, morrigan's friend though it was a good idea to spill her coffee over me. freaking idiot," you murmured the last part, still focused on the task in hand.
cassian let out a snort "well, i'll make sure to thank her personally for this amazing view."
you rolled your eyes at his comment "oh, shut up, cassian. we grew up together, we've all seen each other naked at one point."
rhys smirked and grew before adding "sure, but we were either kids or teenagers at those times."
cassian glanced at his brother, amusement all over his features "maybe we should go back to those times."
with another roll of your eyes, you tried to suppress a smile at your friend's comment while trying to get rid of the stain.
as on cue, the shadowsinger entered the kitchen to join his brothers for breakfast.
instead, he was surprised with a view of you shirtless — his shirtless mate.
the very reason, rhys and cassian had begun to tease you in the first place.
what made this whole situation much funnier — the fact that you weren't aware of this detail.
and things had just become a lot more interesting now with azriel in the room.
his eyes widened at the sight of you but when he turned to find his brothers, his eyes darkened and a low growl was released.
"nice of you to join us, brother," cassian said casually as he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest.
he can practically feel the heat coming off of azriel, like smoke coming out of his ears.
"what's wrong, az?" rhys asked him, knowing exactly what was going on but seeing azriel riled up was too funny to miss it.
at the sound of their voices, you looked up and your eyes found a pair of hazel ones.
"oh, hi, azriel." you greeted him with your sweet smile — the one he liked so much.
the shadowsinger found himself melting at your words, at the way you said his name.
his eyes instantly softed, a small blush coming to his cheeks and a goofy smile on his lips, "h-hi, y/n."
you gave him a warm smile before going back to your task.
azriel regained his composure at the sound of his brothers' muffled laughter.
he sighed and rolled his eyes at their behavior, he hadn't catched a break from them since he revealed the mating bond on one drunken night.
cassian elbowed rhys gently in the ribs to get his attention, when his eyes found his, the general gestured with his head to the shadowsinger.
"hey, az" cassian tried to contain his urge to laugh, he knew what was about to happen.
"what?" azriel managed to say, his eyes still on your figure.
"we were just talking. . ." cassian started, his voice teasing "about going back to those times when we were teenagers."
azriel face scrunched in confusion, he shot his brother a look.
"you know," cassian continued, his peripheral vision caught rhys trying to control himself "those times where we didn't care about being naked in front of each other."
both rhys and cassian snorted at the sight of azriel's face turning red.
"what?!" the male let out a little too loud then he had intended.
rhys proceeded, "yeah, you know. when we didn't care so much about formalities. don't you agree, y/n?"
you rolled your eyes again at rhys comment, "i think you two have too much free time" you chuckled, "cauldron has mercy on the poor females that will ended up as your mates."
"hey!" both cassian and rhys protested.
azriel smiled at your comment, but it fell when he observed both of his brothers eyes roaming over your body, grins splattered on their features.
azriel moved to the edge of the table, placing his hands on the surface of it before giving them a glare and clenching his jaw.
"stop looking at her like that before i break your faces" he threatened through gritted teeth.
cassian and rhys were quick to lift their arms in surrender, both muttering a small "yes, sir."
azriel rolled his eyes in annoyance. his attention was caught when he heard you cursed quietly.
he sent one last warning look to the two males before moving to stand behind you.
he was so close, that all it took was another step of his for your back to be pressed against his chest.
azriel would love to know the feeling of that sensation, but he remained where he was.
he peeked through your shoulder and saw that you couldn't get rid of the annoying coffee stain.
"gods, madja is going to kill me for being late."
without a second thought, azriel took a step back.
"here," he told you.
you turned to find him taking off his own shirt.
your eyes roamed his body — his sun-kissed skin, his muscles, his illyrian tattoos.
you loved those tattoos.
"put it on," he extended his hand to you, holding out his shirt.
"oh, that's not necessary, az. i-"
"it's okay, y/n. i- i want you too. by the way, why don't you go get your shoes and i'll take you to the clinic? it's quicker that way and you don't have to walk."
your face softened, "really? you would do that?"
the corner of his lips lifted for a small smile, only you to make him feel this way.
"of course."
you grabbed his shirt, "ugh, thank you, az."
you put it on and azriel tried to not let the sight of your small feature into his too big of a shirt to affect him, but he failed when his heart skipped a beat.
you moved forward and grabbed his cheeks, kissing him on the left one.
caught off guard, azriel tried to hide the fact that his skin had heated up under your touch.
a new blush came to decorate his cheeks.
"hm. . .i-" the male couldn't find his words with the sound of his heart roaming in his ears.
"you're my hero, az" you gave a big smile before making your way to the stairs to collect your shoes.
azriel stood there in the middle of the kitchen with a hand making it's way to his face to touch the place you kissed him.
cassian and rhys burst out laughing, not being able to remain composed of their brother in love.
cassian got up from his seat and walked towards his brother, clasping a hand on his back.
"behold of the big bad scary shadow-," cassian leaned over in laughter, "shadowsinger" he managed to complete.
rhys appeared on his other side, "oh, brother. only if your enemies could see you now, they would think how big of a fool they are."
azriel clenched his jaw again, and when he turned to answer them, he was stopped by a honey-sweet voice.
"i'm ready," you told him from the entrance.
once again, the shadowsinger was left completely disarmed.
a goofy smile reappeared on his face.
he didn't even spare a glance at his brothers before making his way to you, "let's go then."
cassian and rhys were left in the kitchen laughing to themselves.
•••
the trip to the clinic was quick.
azriel landed softly on the ground, keeping a hand on your waist and another on your back to make sure you were stable.
you took a step forward before turning to him.
"thank you again, az. you literally just saved my morning."
and there it was that goofy smile again.
"oh, it's nothing really. my pleasure."
you let out a small giggle. you reached forward, surrounding his neck with one of your arms and gave him a kiss on the cheek again.
azriel's heart raced and his voice caught in his throat.
you took a step back "you're my hero, azriel. what would i do without you?"
you caressed his cheek with the back of your hand before giving him one last smile and moving towards the clinic.
"hm, i-" was all the male managed to say while watching you entering the clinic with his shirt.
he watched as you grabbed the door, and turned to him to wave goodbye.
azriel returned the gesture. it was at that moment that he realized how much power you had over him.
he didn't push away that feeling, in fact he embraced it.
it was about time to let the walls he had built so long ago disappear.
and you were the right person for that.
azriel made a decision at that moment.
at the end of the day, he would come pick you up and ask you out on a date.
he would buy you flowers, tell you how he felt and take you to dinner.
he just hoped you felt the same way.
and that you said yes.
general taglist: @emryb @fantasyandshit @azrielover @shadowsingercassia @littlelou22 @brieflyclassymortal @lilah-asteria @meul-a @lure-of-writing @pruvii @olive-main @mybestfriendmademe @anuttellaa @mrsjna @lively-potter @avajustreads @talesofadragon @circe143 @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @dark-chaos-314 @tequilya @scoliobean @saltedcoffeescotch @charlotteintumbleland @agirlwithwifiandalaptop @987coley
*if you asked to be tagged and you weren't, it's because I couldn't find your blog.
the beautiful dividers belong to @cafekitsune
#acotar#acotar fandom#acotar fic#acotar fanfiction#acotar series#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#cassian#rhysand#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#request
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⟁ 7:14 PM ft BOOTHILL.
⠀ — braiding his hair bc my brain is rotting and i miss him.
⚠︎ fluff, thats really it, mechanic!reader but its not really relevant, suggestive if you squint and cover one eye and hang upside down. gn reader, wc 860.
boothill's head was lulled back between a pair of soft, comfy thighs, eyes a content and lazy half lidded as he felt some familiar calloused and precise fingers detangling little pieces of his hair. the sun was almost down past the horizon, and the last few warm rays peeking out left the room hued a gentle orange colour, its two inhabitants bathing in it..
he felt a slight tug here and there as you worked your magic, taking the knots out of those long white locks with patient fingers.
“you have such pretty hair.”
you mused quietly, combing out another strand with your nails. boothill's lips tugged up lightly in a gentle smirk— a hint of pride washing over him. he was a bigger sucker for praise than he’d ever admit.
“well, it’s gotta look good if it’s gonna match th’rest of me.” he drawled, voice a low rumble filled with a certain ease that rarely surfaced— well, rarely with others, anyway. he received a playful tug of his hair in response.boothill leaned back a bit more, trying to catch a glimpse of your endearing focussed expression.
he was slowly melting against your deft fingertips, silently whirring internals mimicking the quiet purr of a cat as you twirled a piece around your finger.
“can i braid it?” you asked simply, already sectioning out a few strands at the top.
“do whatever you want, sugar.” he granted with a little shrug, smirk still playing on his lips. “reckon a braid’ll help keep it from flyin’ into my eyes so much.”
he felt the rhythmic crossing of each strand as you began to braid, every brush of your nails against his scalp sending a pleasant shiver right through his wires.
“y’know,” he opened, voice still that gravely tone you could never get enough of. “ain’t nobody else i’d sit still for like this.” he admitted, brashness taking a backseat to give way to a tenderness reserved for one person only.
“yeah?” you smiled a bit, continuing to braid. “just for me, huh?”
boothill couldn’t help but let out a scruff, throaty chuckle, vibrations running through his chest.“just for you, darlin’.” he echoed.
“you’ve got a magic touch, i s’ppose,” his eyes shut briefly. “could get used to this.”
the melodic and methodic movements of your fingers were earnestly making him drowsy, a soothing lullaby that laced and weaved around him in the same patterns as his hair.
“like being pampered?” you teased playfully, earning a chuckle from him.
“you just got a way of makin’ a man feel real special. that’s all.”
your fingers kept slowly crossing and twisting strands.
“you should let me curl it some day,” you suggested, amusing yourself with the thought of him dawning a bunch of puffy ringlets. “you’d look like ‘genti.”
boothill's low laughter echoed quietly in the room, a deep sound that harmonised with your own.
“now that’d be somethin’ to see,” he admitted with a playful scoff. “ol’ boothill with curls bouncin’ around like some dandy.”
he shook his head as he pictured it, and you had to flick his cheek to remind him to look straight.
“i'd sport some curls if it meant i get to see you smilin’.”
you smiled fondly at that, taking a small hair tie and wrapping it around the tail of his braid.
“you’re sweeter than you let on.” you reached around to fix his bangs a little bit.
“there.” you tilted his head up a bit to look at him, feigning shock. “well, ain’t you pretty?”
hearing his own southern drawl echoed back to him made the cowboy snort. “ain’t i just the belle of the ball now?”
boothill's hand instinctively reached back to feel your handiwork, prosthetic fingers tracing along the weaves of his hair.
“mighty fine job, sugar plum.” he commended, turning around to face you on his knees, hands sliding up your thighs until they met behind your back in a careful hug around your waist. he looked up at you— really looked at you, that mushy softness in him pushing out through the cracks you always left in his defences.
“thanks, darlin’.” he said quietly, those red cruciform pupils locked in on your own. “means more’en you might know, you spendin’ your time fussin’ over me like this.”
the cyborg’s head fell comfortably down in your lsp, nuzzling into you.
“i think fussing over you is a full time job,” you teased lightly, a smile evident in your voice. “not that i mind.”
one of your hands traced the mechanical connections of his arm, all the way up until your fingers gave a gentle brush to his cheek.
boothill let out a breathy chuckle, some air fanning across your tummy. his fingers, a soothing and smooth cool metal, traced little shapes along your lower back.
“well, i reckon i oughta start payin’ you overtime for such dedication.” he quipped quietly, demeanour playful yet earnest as always.
“paying me to start might be better.” you gave a playful pinch to his cheek.
“i got a few ideas for how i can pay ya,” he teased back, giving a little nip to your thigh.
⠀ MASTERLIST / GOT A REQUEST ?
#boothill#boothill hsr#boothill x reader#boothill x you#boothill fluff#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr headcanons#hsr oneshot#boothill headcanons#hsr boothill#boothill honkai star rail#this is a warm up#gonna try and get to reqs soon :salute:#UNEARTHLY
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