#my brain keeps yelling “reference bad”

[preattychilll]

"The dream team, featuring ALTheBoi & ALTheGAL!" <3

[laenordeservedbetter]

Why?

Pairing: Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Reader (Daughter of Athena)

Synopsis: Percy sees something he never expected to see.

Warnings: Fluff, kissing, confused Percy, Clarisse slander (Percy), fear of spiders. lmk if I missed any.

This one-shot is based on this tweet.

A/N: Hello, lovely people. I'm back. I can't believe it's been almost a year since I last wrote on here. My writing skills got rusty, but I hope you enjoy reading anyway.

not my gif. || masterlist

Percy was walking with Luke as the latter continued showing him the camp facilities that they didn’t get to go over in the original tour when he sees a strange sight that makes him stop walking. He squints his eyes, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him. When his visions do not change, his eyebrows raise, almost going to the top of his head by how surprised he was.

Luke stops talking when he notices that Percy’s attention was elsewhere. He tries to follow Percy’s line of sight and chuckles when he does. “Oh, yeah. That.” Luke smiles, amused. “That happens pretty much every once in a while.”

“Should we help her?” Percy asks, mortified, as he refers to you. He felt uneasy, seeing you with Clarisse. She is the camp bully, isn’t she? People shouldn’t be leaving you alone with her. Something about the predicament he saw the two of you in seemed off. It shouldn’t be happening, that’s for sure. He steps forward, wanting to free you from the torture when Luke places a hand on his shoulder, preventing him from doing so.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Luke shakes his head, making sure Percy wasn’t going to make any more steps before he retracts his hand.

“Why are Clarisse and Y/n sitting with their backs to each other?” Percy looks up at Luke, knowing the older camper wasn’t going to let him interfere. The least Luke could do was answer his questions.

“They had a fight.” Luke explains simply, still with an amused smirk.

“Then why are they holding hands?”

“They get sad when they fight.” The raven-haired boy shrugs.

Percy doesn’t say anything, keeping up with his staring. It didn’t occur to him how creepy or weird it was, seeing how baffled he still is upon seeing you and Clarisse in the same room, and holding hands. It’s giving him the heebie-jeebies. What business did Clarisse have holding hands with one of the kindest people in camp? He didn’t like that idea, but there was nothing he could do about it. His only hope was that Clarisse doesn’t infect you with her bad attitude.

Meanwhile, inside the Athena cabin, you squeezed Clarisse’s hand three times, but you didn’t say a word. You were still pretty upset from the incident earlier.

Clarisse tried to look at you from her peripheral vision and even though you couldn’t see it, you knew that her face was ridden with guilt. She sighs, “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tossed that spider to you when we were in the woods, even if I was freaked out.”

You had been walking in the woods together, hand in hand, when a spider fell on Clarisse’s shoulder. Her natural instinct was to kill it, but she didn’t have any weapons with her and she was starting to panic, so she did the first thing her brain told her to do. She flung the spider over to you despite knowing full well that you were afraid of them.

You take a deep breath, staying silent for a few seconds before saying, “I forgive you and I’m sorry for yelling and cursing you.” Your head hung low in shame. That wasn’t your proudest moment either. The things you said would have made even Chiron blush.

Clarisse gives out a huge sigh of relief, momentarily letting go of your hand so she can stand up. She walks over so she can finally be face to face with you. “It’s okay, I forgive you. You were freaking out too.” She wraps her arms around you, meeting your gaze with a smile.

“I thought my soul left my body at that point.” You pouted, bits of distress still not wearing off.

She cups your face, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on your lips. “Do you feel better now?” She asks with a soft smile.

You can’t stop the smile from spreading to your face, too. You wrap your arms around her waist and hug her from your position on the chair, holding her tighter for maximum comfort. Clarisse laughs at how you didn’t want to let go, even after two minutes have passed.

“I love you so much. You know that, right?” Clarisse states, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I know.” You murmur happily against her, wanting nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.

Outside the cabin, about ten feet away, Percy Jackson could be seen with his jaw dropped and eyes wider than before. “They’re dating?!” He exclaims, looking at Luke in a panic. It seems that he didn’t connect the dots until you and Clarisse kissed. And even then, it seemed like it wasn’t true. He wasn’t concerned anymore, just confused.

Luke’s brows furrowed. “Couldn’t you already tell by the way they were holding hands earlier?”

Percy stares at Luke, his mouth agape, then back to you and Clarisse, then back to Luke again, feeling like he was about to combust because of this new information. “What? No. Why would I even—”

Luke pulls Percy along, cutting his rambling short. “You have much to learn, Percy. So much.” He walks ahead, heading back to the Hermes cabin. “Come on. I’ll fill you in when we get back to the cabin.”

[starseungs]

take a shot. ksm.

kim seungmin x fem!reader — it really shouldn't take a genius to figure out that you and your co-star didn't get along. you knew kim seungmin. you knew how life functioned despite the cameras. and you knew that it was harder to keep a good shot hidden than it was to delete a bad one.

genre/s — drama, angst, fluff, a sprinkle of comedy, actors au, enemies to lovers, slowburn • 19.4k words

warning/s — y/n gets referred to with she/her pronouns, profanity, implied death taken lightly (humor purposes), miscommunication to too much communication, y/n easily gets into a bad headspace, inaccurate depictions of filming a movie, the angst is strong = the fluff is strong, other idols are mentioned as characters along with skz members, mentions of alcohol in a scene

note — my longest fic yet !! it also took me so long to finish this (like three weeks i believe) and there were some struggles that happened in the making of this, but it turned out to be my most favorite work ive done ever. thank you for the people who patiently waited for this since the teaser, and remember that reblogs & feedbacks are greatly appreciated 🫶 i hope you enjoy the read !!

2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

00 : ZERO.

“I’m sorry, what?”

The car remained silent despite your words of confusion. You felt as though your world had come to an extreme halt, giving you a whiplash as the buzz of the road outside continued to pierce through your ears. There was nothing else to keep your mind away from the absolute bomb of news that was just given to you; your manager had turned it down before uttering the horrid sentence that brought your untimely demise.

The car may have kept on with its task of moving forward—but you were stuck frozen in place.

“You’re joking.”

Your world fell on seemingly deaf ears. The man up front, steering the wheel, rendered himself mute to your growing distress, finding the busy traffic of city life interesting enough to keep his eyes glued. But the urban chaos didn’t distract you one bit from brewing a storm of gunpowder inside your throat.

And just like that, a ghost of a click was heard.

“No—please tell me you’re joking,” you voiced out, tone betraying your attempts at keeping things respectful. It soon came to your attention that the effort was of no use, as your manager still chose to keep his peace. “Changbin!”

The car swiveled a bit off-lane for a second before returning to its correct course. Normally, such an abrupt action by a vehicle would concern you, as you would argue that you were still much too young to suffer at the hands of a road accident, but no such thoughts even made their way into your brain. Just like how time had stopped for you, there was no time for debating over survival either. One life-or-death situation was already enough for you.

You wanted answers, and you were going to get them.

Changbin exhaled audibly from the scare he just put both of you through. His hands shook with a slight tremor, and that was all it took for him to decide that pulling over to the nearest parking area was for the best.

“Don’t yell in the car like that!” You scoffed at his scolding, finding the whole situation ironic.

“Oh, so you can do it all the time, but I can’t?” You shot back. Changbin sighed tiredly, finally registering the extent of your agitation. "Plus, I have a perfectly good reason why I’m yelling!”

“Listen, Y/N, it’s really not that bad—”

“Yes, it is that bad!” The words spill out of your mouth in utter disbelief at his attempts at assurance. “I’m working with Kim Seungmin, of all people!”

“And that’s why it’d be fine!” Changbin argued, running a hand through his already tousled hair. You blinked at his reply, baffled by the sheer implication.

“—How?”

Changbin clicked his tongue at the question, finding it hard to digest just why you were so against working with the mentioned actor. With the mere sound of that actor’s name spat out of your mouth, one would think that he had somehow managed to offend your entire bloodline. But that kind of bitterness could only be achieved through a sour history, so you really couldn’t empathize with your manager’s mindset either.

Even you knew that this movie would be enormously successful from the director alone. Director Han Jisung’s influence and presence in the industry were not a laughing matter—in fact, you should already be trembling in anxiety just knowing that you snagged probably the biggest role you’d ever get in your whole career. He was only around the same age as you, but the winding list of his achievements was already one for the records. And yet, here you were rethinking your contract with him even before the project started.

Just because of who you were going to be acting alongside with.

“Seungmin is a nice person,” Changbin explained gently like he was coaxing a child, intentionally ignoring the way your face scrunched up at what he said. “I did my research, ok? Everyone only has high praises for him, both on and off-set. Isn’t that enough to be trusted?”

You bit your tongue to stop yourself from digging a deeper hole to lie in. The answer was no—it wasn’t enough to be trusted. Now, at this point, someone would’ve had half a mind to ask why you were so sure about your vendetta against the man. If a person was so well loved in a world where cameras were pointed at them in every waking minute, then shouldn’t all the dirt be found by now, if there was any?

To that, your answer would be yet another no.

Because you knew Kim Seungmin. You knew how life functioned despite the cameras. And you knew that it was harder to keep a good shot hidden than it was to delete a bad one.

“Turn the car around.”

Changbin’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets at your demand. Surely, he had heard you now. You crossed your arms and leaned back to rest comfortably on the car seat, turning your head to face the window and glare at the world outside, continuing on with their lives like a well-followed routine.

“Y/N, this is a big opportunity—”

“I said, turn the car around. I’m not attending this cursed table reading.” You pinched the bridge of your nose to keep the incoming migraine at bay.

“You really think I’ll willingly step into a room with the devil’s incarnate? I’d rather get shot—”

01 : ONE.

“—sensing a great shot!”

Director Han Jisung nodded positively at your performance, satisfied with your initial portrayal of the female lead.

“If we keep going like this, then I’m expecting this project to be a big hit. The casting team really did their pay’s worth on this one,” the young director hummed. “Especially you, Actor Kim Seungmin. I don’t know how they managed to get through your company's walls, but I’m glad they did. You’re perfect for the role!”

You felt your eye twitch as the figure bearing the name appeared within your vision. His mouth curled up into an arrogant smirk, hastily covered up by a bashful smile. You cringed at his actions that only you seemed to see. Why was this prick acting all humble?

“Ah, I always wanted to act in one of your films, Director Han. This is more of an amazing opportunity for me than you, honestly.”

That smoothed honey voice wrapped itself around the room’s premise, charming everyone around like it was coming from an alluring siren. All except you.

Your mouth filled with a coating of spite as his next sentence echoed through your ears. His eyes locked you in as a target, a wordless challenge shooting straight at your own.

“Plus, seeing who my co-star is, I’m quite thrilled to see the end product,” Seungmin grinned with a manic glint.

Fuck. You should’ve turned that damned car around yourself. Maybe then you’d be enjoying a relaxing time in the tub, surrounded by bubbling suds of fragrant soap, instead of being a frontliner in this mental war your acting counterpart seemed to subject yourselves to. Now, you had to withstand the feeling of your body instantly going on auto-pilot after his words.

It was commendable, really—how Seungmin could take over a space of this size filled with various types of people so easily. He had major talent in that field, which greatly accentuated his acting power. Seungmin had a way with words, and while you would never be caught praising him out loud, you couldn’t help but acknowledge the bitter truth deep inside the darkest parts of your brain. It was almost obsessive, the way your mind zeroed in on his presence. Even as you let the busy table chatter away into a buzzing noise that barely made its way coherently through your ears, your eyes stayed glued to the figure in front of you, carefully studying his mannerisms as he enthusiastically interacted with everyone. You weren’t someone who Seungmin’s charms would work on—instead, you felt like prey, waiting to be pounced on any second now.

Before you knew it, the table reading came to a close. You could faintly remember standing and packing your things quietly, more focused on the sudden stinging feeling you felt coming from your eyes, already threatening to water. “This is ridiculous,” you huffed in frustration. Why did you feel the need to cry like a child at this very moment?

“With the way your script is being shoved in that tiny bag, yeah, I would say that too.”

“Leave me alone, Kim.”

You hear him chuckle, causing your grip on your leather bag’s opening to become tighter, feeling the metal zipper bite at your palm. “There’s a lot of Kims here, Y/N. Be careful now; they might mistake you for being rude to them,” he chirps. Fucking chirps. Like a small bird who deserves to be doted on. Except the man before you was neither small nor deserved to be doted on—Kim Seungmin would never be described in any of those words in your world.

“Right. Since they’re also talking to me right now,” you scoffed back. Thankfully, that seemed to keep the tears at bay for now. You refused to break down in front of the most infuriating man in your life.

“Still stuck up as ever,” he sighs. Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets at his comment. You? Stuck up? If anything, that would be him! “This would be our first piece together after that charity drama our acting academy did way back a few years ago, so would it kill you to be civil?”

Ah. There it was. The infamous acting academy.

JYP Academy of Theatrics was admittedly one of the most successful acting academies in the country, known for producing many big name acts throughout its years of operation. Every aspiring actor has probably gone through the phase of wanting to be part of the academy’s carefully limited population of trainees—you included.

You remember the first time you brought up your plans on becoming an actress to your parents; their apprehensive faces telling you to try going to an acting academy first before giving up everything and running towards your dream blind. Young you didn’t realize the underlying implication that your parents were expecting you to be discouraged and give up on your thoughts of becoming an actress for good. Instead, you aimed high with the thoughts of their support, confidently applying for JYP Academy.

To your parents’ surprise, you passed both rounds of the screening, becoming a full-fledged acting academy trainee at one of the most prestigious places for it. It was also where you met the thorn in your life that was standing before you at the present.

“And frankly, I’m looking forward to this. So can we not ruin the mood on set?” He had the nerve to add. That was all you needed for your last string of restraint to snap.

“Why? So you could enjoy the power trip of watching me fumble around like a headless chicken after getting scolded a thousand times for my horrible acting skills?”

“What?”

You watched as Seungmin’s face morphed from exhaustion into a look of confusion at what you had just said. However, you knew better than to give him the benefit of the doubt—so you continued to shoot your bullets at him.

“I know you, Kim Seungmin,” you motioned towards him. “Don’t you dare think I’ve forgotten your days at the acting academy, especially that damned charity drama. But consider yourself lucky, since I won’t drag your ass down this time, Golden Boy. In fact, watch me shine on set even if it’s against your will or whatever is going on in that ego of yours, because I refuse to bow down to you. Things may have been different seven years ago, but I’ve grown since then. So if you want to prove to me that you have to, then know how to keep your mouth to yourself around me.”

After your little round of firing the pent-up rage inside of you, you snatched your bag from the table and stormed out of the room without another word. You had half the mind to worry if anyone had heard your little squabble with Seungmin, but you were already too far down the hall to go back and check, risking a blow to your conscience if ever you tried to go back. You only had the fact that you had managed to keep your voice surprisingly low throughout the whole exchange to console you.

With this, you continued your trek towards the parking lot to meet your manager once again—blissfully unaware of the state in which you left your co-star back in the room.

“What the fuck just happened?”

It took everything in Seungmin to not march after you and demand an explanation for what you had just said to him. In all honesty, Seungmin was baffled. Out of all the possible scenarios he had imagined to happen when meeting you, this was definitely not one of them. Sure, you two weren’t exactly the best of friends way back in your academy years, but he had at least considered you an acquaintance.

Even then, he didn’t remember your relationship being this bad. For all the times the both of you clashed heads, he couldn’t recall a single time serious bad blood was developed. The memory of you laughing joyfully as he messed up a line in your shared scene together on a monthly evaluation was still fresh in his memories—so just where did this hostility come from? If he were to base his conclusion off your words earlier, then it must have something to do with the charity drama, and that only made Seungmin more lost.

What you said earlier did hold some truth to them—you were scolded a lot by their advisor, slash project director, but in no way did you do badly in the production. Seungmin could testify to that. After all, he was witness to the amount of praise you got from fellow trainees as they watched you act out your scenes on camera, even though his younger counterpart was jealous of all the positive feedback. So now, he really couldn’t understand where your deep-rooted bitterness towards him came from. He even gave you some tips during the times you seemingly struggled with their advisor’s vision!

“Seungmin?”

He turned over to where his name was just called, seeing his manager approach him while bowing politely towards the small number of production staff left in the room. “Oh, did I take too long, Minho?”

“Yeah, but it’s alright. I knew you were going to catch up with a friend,” Minho looked around for a bit before continuing, “Speaking of which, did she go already?” Seungmin couldn’t stop himself from clicking his tongue at his manager’s words.

“It’s a long story.”

Well, two can play that game. If you truly knew him like you said you did, then you would know that Kim Seungmin isn’t one to give up when he sets his mind to something.

02 : TWO.

You wanted to give up right at this very moment.

Today was the first day of filming for the movie you were cast in as the female lead, yet here you were, one push away from having a mental breakdown. It was your first lead role—one that you had wished on countless stars to get ever since signing a contract with your current agency. Yet, now that you actually have it, you were left unsure of whether your acting could do proper justice to the character given to you. The confidence you flared towards Kim Seungmin a few days ago was nowhere to be found right now as anxious thoughts swirled through your head instead.

When you first read the script as one of your manager’s proposals for your next project, you instantly felt like the female lead’s role spoke to you the most. The plot itself was a masterpiece, clearly right up Director Han’s alley with its sentimental undertone and themes of self-discovery. It followed the male lead, returning back to his hometown for a high school reunion after just deciding to quit his job at a well-known corporation in the city. At the reunion, he meets the female lead, whom he remembers having the biggest crush on back in his teenage years—before he moved to the city for college.

In comparison, the female lead never left their homey countryside town. She attended the nearby community college and also settled her adult life in the same area. However, that didn’t mean that what she had achieved was all she wanted to do in life. Like everyone else, she too, had her own dreams. Unfortunately, she lacked confidence in herself to chase opportunities and got stuck right where her starting line was.

And in a way, she spoke to you.

You didn’t want to admit it, but perhaps you regret running your mouth like that at your co-star during the table read. It was a moment of weakness, you tried to tell yourself. Emotional you talked too big for what you could handle, so now you were left here to deal with the consequences of your actions.

But lies had their truths too.

It was true that you wanted to shine on set—outshining Kim Seungmin was just an added bonus to the thought. You’ve spent far too long in others’ shadows, never really feeling like you had the chance to show your fullest potential. That was something you fought for constantly, starting from your days at the academy up until the present, only to have no such luck. Maybe that was why you developed a habit of becoming pessimistic at the worst times, becoming your own enemy as you fall into a pit of self-sabotage, effectively going against everything you’ve ever wished for yourself. It was a cycle of keeping yourself confused with your own decisions, and it was a frustrating process.

You could only stare from the actors’ corner on the site as you watched the crew members run around making final arrangements for today’s shoot. Normally, you wouldn’t have seen this part of the process, as actors would often arrive later on when everything was nearly set, during their actual call time. You just intentionally went early, deciding that you weren’t going to get any more sleep even if you tried, seeing as most of the previous night was spent trying to make sure you had your lines all perfected. Sleep came rough yesterday, and you had no one else to blame but your own nerves.

At least the set looked great—today you were filming all the scenes needed for the high school reunion. The place was this quaint function hall in a small town about seven hours from the capital city, the same town you would be staying in to shoot for a little less than a week. You couldn’t help but think that maybe the new environment contributed more towards your slowly diminishing confidence, feeling yourself too far away from the strong presence of individualistic urban life. A defeated sigh was all you could do in attempt to ease yourself, even the slightest.

“I’m beginning to think this is going to become a pattern,” you hear a familiar toned voice comment. “Meeting you distressed, I mean.”

You spare the figure a half-hearted glance before rolling your eyes, forcing out an appropriate greeting. Or what was appropriate in your books, anyway.

“Oh, it’s you.”

Seungmin’s face displayed his feelings of amusement, which in turn made your frown deepen. “Not even a good afternoon? That’s harsh of you, Y/N,” he says in a tone made for mockery. “You really don’t like seeing my face, huh?”

“More like, I just don’t like you, period,” you grumbled in annoyance. “Also, why are you even here this early?”

Your surprise at his punctuality was real; you were not expecting to see him on set three hours early. But maybe you should have foreseen this behavior, seeing as the Seungmin you knew back then was also one to be on time during all lessons, activities, and practices. A part of you was then thankful for the question coming off as general because if you added any more comparisons, it would’ve seemed like you held on to too much information on him from the past.

“Just because I’m the main character doesn’t mean I should be fashionably late. Would it tick you off to know that I like being punctual with things?”

“Yeah,” was your immediate reply, not needing to think about it any further. “Since now, I have to time myself to arrive just before the call time.”

Seungmin lets out a deep sigh at your words. “You don’t want to spend any more time with me than necessary, got it.” He says, then lifting a finger up to tap against his ear. “But you know, you should really learn to keep your plans away from enemy ears.”

You tried your best not to show the inner war that just sparked inside of your head—you really shouldn’t have found that small gesture attractive, but the romantic side in you swooned so easily against your will. And for what? Kim Seungmin, of all people? You really should tone down all the enemies-to-lovers content you were consuming, because this was the last thing you wanted to happen. Real life just doesn’t play out like that.

Giving him some slack and perhaps a half-assed attempt at reverse psychology, you replied with a tired tone. “I’ll agree with you on that one, so you may walk away now, Kim.”

Except that Seungmin didn’t seem to catch the memo.

“Says the one who keeps talking,” he snarks at you. “For someone who told me to keep my mouth to myself around you, you’re the one who keeps the conversation flowing.”

You rolled your eyes for the second time since starting this conversation. At this point, you were convinced that Kim Seungmin was on a mission to dislocate it. “You just have to win everything, do you?”

“It’s my charm, I suppose.”

“And I disagree. The only charm you have is that mouth of yours you use to manipulate everyone around you.”

That seemed to snap something within Seungmin. “What the hell did I ever do to you?” He spits out furiously. “I would’ve already sued you for defamation if you acted like this around everyone else, so you should be thankful that I’m being tolerant of your attitude right now.”

“Thankful? Why would I be thankful?” Was your baffled response. “You know, I’m starting to believe that you don’t remember what you put me through all those years ago at all, and it’s only making me more upset that you seem to hold no remorse whatsoever.”

“If it’s that bad, then go ahead and tell me!” Seungmin hissed in an attempt to keep his voice down and not cause a scene. “I don’t have time for this roundabout game you have going on, and honestly, neither should you. We have a high-profile movie to film, and I would never let whatever this is ruin the hard work of a hundred people—so get your head out of your ass and either clench your teeth and save the working environment we have or be a dear and solve this issue with me right now.”

Now you were just barely containing your rage. It was at this point that you realized that Seungmin wasn’t faking anything; and that made it sting a lot more in your already scarred heart. Of course, someone like him wouldn’t understand why you were acting like this. Someone like him, born talented enough to be loved and praised by everyone, would never see the other side that you had to be dragged through—the side that existed all because of people like him, too.

“Fuck you, Kim Seungmin,” you croaked out through tears. “I knew someone like you would never understand.”

And you ran.

“What are—Y/N! Come back here!”

03 : THREE.

“Y/N, where in the world even are you? You need to come back to the actors’ tent right now!”

Changbin’s voice boomed through your phone’s speaker a lot louder than usual, causing you to jerk it away from your ear in pain. Well, you did deserve the scolding—after running off to God knows where in a relatively remote town you didn’t even know, you would be pissed as hell too if you were your manager. What kind of actress just leaves the set without a single thought like that?

“I swear, Y/N. Do not tell me you’re lost because I’m pretty sure I left you somewhere safe the last time I saw you,” you hear Changbin huff on the opposite end. “I can’t believe you told me that you were going to be fine on your own, and I actually trusted you. That’s it! I’m not letting you wander around the set anymore from this point onwards!”

You couldn’t help but find your manager’s rant funny, despite the clear threat being held above your head. “Really? I’m telling you that it’s almost call time, and you’re just laughing. Fine, go on your own soul-searching, or whatever it is you’re doing. I’m telling everyone you left your role to go play hooky—”

Oh, you could only wish. After your little squabble with Seungmin, playing hooky didn’t sound like a bad option. Sadly, you still had a conscience that weighed on you—even more hypersensitive to the people around it with your co-star’s earlier comment of ruining other people’s hard work. You hurriedly shook your head to get rid of the negative thoughts that were starting to plague your head once again, and instead focused on the group of trees that lined the path towards the entrance of the function hall.

“Changbin, I’m fine.”

“Damn right, you should be!” He screeches one last time before calming down. “But in all seriousness, you need to head over here now, or Director Han is going to chew me a new one. He knows my sister, and I don’t want to be berated for not doing my job properly by her of all people.”

You chuckled at the competitiveness in his voice. “Don’t worry, I just took a short walk for fresh air. You know how nervous I was earlier on the way to the set.” Changbin hummed in acknowledgement.

“And on the way to this town in general,” he teases. It didn’t last long, though, since he immediately followed up on your well-being with a soft tone. “Did the walk help? I can get you some hot tea too, if you want.”

“Look at you, finally being a proper manager,” you threw back at him, snickering as offended noises started to pour out of your phone. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll take you up on that tea offer. Plus, I’m just around the corner now.”

Once you saw his figure coming into view, you hung up the call and opted to wave your right arm to catch his attention. Changbin broke out into a frantic sprint towards you the minute he saw you approaching.

“Oh, thank whatever deity there is. You need to head over to the tent right now and—” He suddenly stopped mid-sentence, holding you still at arms length to give you a look of confusion as he scanned your face. “Did you cry? Why are your eyes like that?”

Shoot. You had totally forgotten about that for a second. “Ah,” was all you could muster in a sheepish daze. “It was just to let the nerves out, you know? It’s nothing serious.”

Changbin narrowed his eyes at your excuse, making you hold your breath unintentionally. It felt as though you were being picked apart, trying to find the truth that you desperately wanted to keep hidden. Eventually, the man before you decided to let it be, sending you off with an exhausted wave.

“Hm. Alright, and it’s already going away, so it must’ve just been a light session. Try to blink it out more so that it’s long gone once you step in front of the cameras.”

You silently breathed out a sigh of relief. “Will do. Thanks, Changbin.”

“Stop being a sap and head over to the tent already,” he chuckles before sending you a comforting smile. “Good luck. I’ll just be here.”

A grateful look found its way onto your face as you walked briskly towards the actors’ tent. You should really treat Changbin to dinner after all of this is over, you think to yourself, putting on your game face and entering the enclosed area with a newly steeled heart.

Now, Seungmin wasn’t the type to be overly concerned with others’ business. While he wouldn’t exactly call himself an extreme individualist, he still did have an appreciation for community. You wouldn’t catch him dead in the act of trying to mingle with someone else’s issues if it had nothing to do with him. However, all that seemed to somehow fly out the window whenever it had something to do with you.

To him, you were a person qualified enough to be considered intertwined with his own life. Sure, he hadn’t seen you in person for years, but that still would never be able to erase the fact that you knew him behind the cameras. Actually, even worse.

You knew the person he was before he even took up acting as a career.

Perhaps that was why he was so bothered by the way you were acting with him recently. He doesn’t even recall ever being that hostile to someone since his high school days, and that alone terrified him. It was like he regressed back to the days of his youth whenever he interacted with you—and that did more harm than good. The younger him was full of teen angst that he wanted to bury deep inside the confines of his past, but the animosity you seemed to harbor personally against him made him wonder if he was truly missing important information from that era of you both.

So when he saw you walk into the tent with fading redness evident in your eyes, just right after your small fight with him earlier, he instantly felt a punch in his gut. In all honesty, he wasn’t aiming to make you cry—it just so happened that the spur of the moment was so intense that he spat out things he barely meant. Sure, they still stemmed from the truth of how he felt since he did want to make amends with you, but even he wants to kick himself for the way he worded things so out of pocket. His reaction to the situation was so childish that it would be easier to think he finally went insane from the busy schedules he’s been doing than believe that what he did was a conscious decision. He was supposed to be the mature one at that moment, reaching out to fix the issue.

And yet here he was, feeling like a child in front of you.

He wanted to approach you, apologize for earlier, and maybe another one for whatever stupidity his old self did that was clearly bad enough for his mind to completely block out entirely. If you were reacting this much, it had to be at least somewhat of a traumatizing experience. Seungmin doesn’t think he ever got that bad back then, but everyone had different perspectives—and yes, young him had a tendency to be a prick. He still had friends, though, and no one ever called him in to discuss his behavior, so it wasn’t like he was a bully.

Either way, he felt the need to apologize—and maybe get an apology back, but his legs wouldn’t let him. A part of him knew that if he did approach you at the moment, you might run away again, and it was almost time for the briefing. Instead, he settled on looking at you across the pop-up room, hoping that his silent sentiment was delivered.

Which it was not. At all.

If anything, it added more pressure to whatever nerves you were holding back. Seungmin’s gaze was so piercing to the point that you didn’t even need to turn and look to know that he had his eyes locked on you. What does he want from you now? Oh, right—you two would be filming your scenes together in a matter of about an hour or two. Maybe this was Seungmin’s way of telling you to get your shit together while finally respecting your wishes to be left alone. Improvement is improvement, so you’d leave him alone to do his thing too.

“All right, is everyone here?” A lean man in his mid-twenties walked in, asking everyone inside. There was another person following him, yet seemingly younger. “It seems so. If someone you know is late, just fill them in with the details later.”

The first man lifted up a thick bind of paper, which you quickly recognized as the script. “I’m sure everyone has read their copy of this. My name is Hwang Hyunjin, and I’m the head scriptwriter for this film. Over here to my side is Yang Jeongin, my assistant. We’re here to give you a briefing on how this shoot will go for today since Director Han and Assistant Director Lee are busy with the filming crew as of the moment.”

So they were the ones behind the script. You felt your excitement levels increase as various questions about the story’s making filled your head—but you would save that for another day. Perhaps during the crew dinner after the movie’s filming was completed.

“Today, we’ll be filming one of the first scenes in the movie—the reunion. That’s why there’s a lot of you are here right now, despite the story only really having a few recurring characters. Still, whatever your role is, I hope you take this opportunity with pride. All of you here will be treated as actors for as long as you stand on this set, so have the dignity of one. Whether you have lines or not, what I expect from all of you is your best, and only your best,” Head Scriptwriter Hwang emphasized.

The briefing continued on with the necessary information for the reunion scene, with detailed clarifications and stage directions. If you weren’t locked in on all the information being fed to you, you would’ve had half the mind to acknowledge how strikingly handsome the man was upfront. A few others did, though, and you couldn’t really blame them. The guy could be an actor himself if he wanted to be.

“And I believe that’s all for now,” Head Scriptwriter Hwang clapped his hands in satisfaction. “Hair and makeup will take care of you all for about an hour and a half. I see that some of you already came prepared, so go ahead and touch up yourself if you want to. Main characters, you have your own booths,” he glances towards the stations at the end of the tent.

“You’ll be called up when needed. Actor Kim Seungmin, please get ready first since we need you for the entrance shots. That is all. Good luck.”

Head Scriptwriter Hwang bows politely to all of you before exiting the tent with Assistant Yang. With that, the battlefield begins.

You couldn’t remember much of what was happening other than you being sat down in front of a well-lit mirror and letting yourself become a doll in the hands of the make-up artists. The one assigned to your hair did start a short conversation about your previous works, to which you could only thank her shyly for her support. While you weren’t the most popular actress out there, you were still relatively well-known, with notable works under your belt. Seven years of experience wasn’t something someone could just laugh at, after all.

On the other hand, your co-star was a famous A-lister who was most likely getting paid significantly more than you for his role in this film. You glanced a bit to your right, where Kim Seungmin was happily chatting with his hair and makeup assignees, his voice effortlessly traveling its way over to your spot.

Ever the social butterfly, that one.

“Are you excited?” The woman assigned to your hair, who you learned was named Eunha, asked. You looked at her, startled by the sudden topic change. “Sorry—it’s just that you kept looking over at Actor Kim that it came to mind. He is quite the looker, isn’t he?”

“Oh.”

How should you even respond to that? It wasn’t like you could just go around advertising your personal beef with the man when, as far as you knew, he had a clean record on his plate. That would just be a lawsuit waiting to happen. You’d have to settle for something vague instead. “I guess,” you cringe at the evident pain in your voice.

“I’ve heard from others in the industry that he’s a great guy. You’ll have a blast filming this movie with him. I know it’s a bit awkward right now, but I’m sure you’ll warm up to him soon. After all, you’re both the lead roles.”

You’ll surely have a blast, alright—straight to the ego.

This conversation just gave you the unfriendly reminder that you had to act all lovey-dovey with this man, and if anything, it was triggering some unpleasant memories. By memories, you meant the charity drama from your acting academy days.

Your experience with that project was interesting, to say the least.

It had all started with Seungmin winning the prize of being the drama’s male lead after getting the top spot on the year-end evaluation for the junior level. Along with his prize came the privilege to choose who he would be acting alongside, only to surprise everyone when he chose you, a trainee who barely got recognition and wasn’t even in the top ten of your level. At first, you felt honored. It was like you were finally getting acknowledged, and by the top performer, no less. So you worked hard to do your part properly, wanting to repay Seungmin for his act of kindness; only for that kindness to turn out to be a mockery of you.

The difference in skill between you two was just too wide. Your shortcomings showed far too much, and your mistakes ended up being emphasized to the point that your level advisor became endlessly frustrated with you. First, it was the scolding. The woman clearly did not appreciate you holding back the entire production, especially since it was for a cause, so she would point out every problem in your acting, which quickly took a turn after you showed barely any improvement. Eventually, your advisor started to berate you—going as far as constantly referring to you as the reason the drama would fail. When you tried to raise the concern with her that it was affecting you negatively, she only brushed you off with a comment about how you should know to take constructive criticism this early to succeed in the actual industry.

At eighteen years old, you could only clench your teeth and accept your fate.

Things only got worse when you overheard Seungmin talking to his friends near the vending machines after practice one day—the same day they were talking about you.

“Dude, why did you choose Y/N to be the female lead?” One of Seungmin’s friends, Yeonjun, groaned aloud. “She’s awful at it. What? Do you like her or something?”

Seungmin only shrugged. “Not really,” he said, uninterested. “I just kept seeing her name during level advancements but never saw her doing anything to stand out. If she got this far, then I should give her a chance, no?” Yeonjun pursed his lips at the answer.

“That’s just cruel, man. The witch has it out for her now.”

“Then she can just do better,” Seungmin chuckles, taking a sip from his soda before continuing. “Not my problem anymore. If I do my role well enough, maybe they’ll pay less attention to whatever she’s doing.”

Beomgyu, another friend of his, scoffed. “So, like—you’re basically using her to your advantage.” You watched Seungmin wave him off without a care.

“Stop making it sound so bad like that,” he hums at the thought. “Let’s just say I’m saving her the embarrassment. Like you said, it was my fault she’s getting thrown around like this anyway,” Seungmin continues before tossing his empty can of soda in the trash.

And wow, did you feel like one after hearing that.

Starting from that point onwards, you held a dislike for Kim Seungmin. It did, however, give you enough spite to use as a driving force to do well in the charity drama—eventually climbing up to senior level right beside Seungmin, where you two clashed for the higher ranks before graduating and starting your own careers.

Despite this, the memory of the junior project still stayed ingrained in you, never really managing to fade away like you wanted it to, causing you to struggle in your quest to succeed in the industry. The deprecating thoughts came at the worst times, making you revert back to that eighteen-year-old who kept her tears at bay as the director shouted at her for the nth time.

It was particularly the worst right now.

“Cut! Bad take!”

You snapped your head towards Director Han, who looked so frustrated that he started to resemble a certain someone from the ghosts of your memories. Kim Seungmin was in front of you, his tongue poking at his cheek after hearing the comment. Right, you were at the set—shooting a scene. And you had just failed to say your next line.

“Actress Y/N, you can’t just keep forgetting your lines like this!”

04 : FOUR.

You really can’t go on forgetting your lines like this.

“Y/N.” Changbin sighs heavily. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

It would have been amazing if the gods could hear your plea. Your wish was fairly simple, after all—to be buried six feet under at the moment. To hell with being a popular actress; you wanted nothing more than to disappear right now after that stunt you just pulled. On the first day of filming, no less.

Should you just go dig your own hole instead?

“It won’t happen again,” you softly replied, like a child getting scolded by their mother.

Your manager could only take a deep inhale at your words. “And I believe you, I really do,” he says. “But I can’t just let this go like this.”

Of course, he couldn’t. You would do the same thing in his shoes. Changbin was a manager for an actress—an actress who clearly can’t even manage herself. Your job’s core had a simple description, and that was to act out your lines. Lines that you had to memorize, internalize, and perform. What was the point of having seven years of experience under your belt if you couldn’t even do the basics of your occupation?

“You have to understand, Y/N. It wasn’t just once, or twice, or heck—not even thrice! You had a minimum of five retakes per couple of lines, and that’s already concerning enough for me to have to intervene. Director Han was really disappointed today, and it’s only the first filming. The only reason you’re still coming back on set tomorrow is because, at the end of the day, we managed to get good takes despite the issues. So pray tell, is something wrong?”

The humble inn’s room you were staying in became devoid of sound from your lack of response, making the cicadas outside seem a lot louder than they actually were. Your sitting figure made you look small in front of the man before you, who was pacing across the room in distressed strides. In all honesty, you had nothing to say back to Changbin. As much as you trusted him like your own older brother, explaining your oh-so-stellar performance earlier would entail having to reveal your past with Kim Seungmin, which was the last thing on the list of secrets you wanted to get out. Thus, there was only one solution to your dilemma.

“Can we replace Kim Seungmin?”

Changbin’s jaw slacked. “What—him again?” He laughed humorlessly, completely baffled at your request. “And replace, you say? Y/N, at the rate we’re going, you’re the one in danger of getting replaced!”

Okay, you should’ve expected that. But the sting from your manager’s comment wouldn’t hurt any less, even if you did.

You were well aware of all of your shortcomings as an actress. The seven years you gained in this industry clearly taught you a lot of important lessons, but those same seven years barely did anything to your ability, no matter the amount of effort you desperately poured into your career. It felt like a futile attempt at pouring into a cup that had a big hole at the bottom—knowing you could be filled to the brim with the necessary factors to succeed exponentially, yet still letting everything go down the drain.

Maybe this was the wake up call you needed to acknowledge that you’re the only one holding yourself back. And you had the slight inkling that you knew all along where this whole mess stemmed from.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what, even?” Changbin ran a hand through his already tousled hair. “Look, if you really don’t want to tell me, then fine. I’ll respect your wishes. But you can’t expect me to understand where you’re coming from if I know nothing. Deal with how overbearing I could be, or I don’t know, just keep that in mind.”

“I understand.” You meekly nodded. “Sorry, again. I’ll do better tomorrow.”

With your vague words, Changbin eventually came to the conclusion that you weren’t going to speak about the issue today. Walking towards you, he finally accepted your decision with a light pat on the head. “You don’t have to say that to me, Y/N. Maybe to the crew tomorrow. And Actor Kim Seungmin if you want. Just promise me a better performance tomorrow, and we’ll be good.”

You chuckled dryly. “Yes, I’ll do that.”

“Alright.” Your manager rolled his shoulders back, releasing the tension that built up from his pacing. “I’ll go to my own room now. Get some good rest. You need it after what happened today,” he chuckles.

“Okay, good night.”

You plastered a small smile for him, only letting it drop completely after you heard the door shut. After that, it was just you and your mind, ready to play the most depressing thoughts all through the night to beat you down once again. However, you weren’t going to fall for that today. You had already promised a better performance on filming tomorrow.

And what better ways were there to achieve both than practice until the sun rises?

Well, that surely did it’s work for you because you walked into the set the next day looking like a few years had just shaved off your lifespan. But as long as you could still function well enough to participate in the shoot, then you would consider your little sacrifice worth it.

A certain someone would beg to disagree, though.

Seungmin has never felt more concerned in his life. Just what in the world did you do all night to come out of your room looking like a literal zombie? To make matters worse, no one was even batting an eye at your less-than-ideal state! He watched you get your makeup done from across the tent with a thoughtful expression.

“Is it just me, or did Y/N get no sleep whatsoever?”

Minho cringed at Seungmin’s blunt comment. “Oh, you noticed it too?” He purses his lip, feeling uneasy. “I feel bad for her, but after the mishap from yesterday, I wouldn’t be surprised if she stayed up all night trying to make sure it doesn’t happen again. No sleep is better than no role in this industry, after all.”

Seungmin frowned at his manager’s words. That can’t be right. Sure, as actors, getting roles to play was their bread and butter—but no project was going to be worth more than their own well-being. If your condition was bad, then how were you expecting to have the proper mindset to act well? That should be simple logic.

He huffed. “I’m going to talk to her.”

Before he could even take a step forward, a strong force had already pulled him back. “Stop right there, Seungmin.” His manager gripped his shoulder in warning. “I know you mean well, but please do not do anything to agitate Actress Y/N any further.”

Seungmin turns back in disbelief. “What are you even talking about?”

“Aren’t you two close? I know how you joke around when you’re comfortable, and I’m just letting you know that this might not be the best time to do so.”

The actor narrowed his eyes at the implication being thrown his way. “You know, you’re making me out to be a major ass right now.” Minho shrugged.

“That’s because one wrong move, and you might as well be,” he sighs. “Look, all I’m saying is that what she probably needs right now is support. Someone who would give her motivation to get through the shoot today.”

Seungmin deadpanned at his manager’s sudden advice. He wasn’t expecting Minho, of all people, to lecture him about how to properly interact with others. “Exactly?” The younger of the two raises a brow. “What else do you think I was going to do?”

Minho looked hesitant for a second. “You and I both know that you’re not exactly the most—” he trails off, making random expressive movements with his hands instead. Seungmin scoffed.

“Spit it out.”

���—Motivating. You’re probably the least motivating person here.”

Seungmin visibly blanched at Minho’s admittance. Truth be told, he wasn’t expecting the older man to say anything particularly nice, but the actual reveal was just completely out of his radar.

Even when he was young, Seungmin never struggled with making friends. He’s always been well-liked by the people around him, which has made him fairly popular amongst his peers. With such a positive response from a lot of people regarding him as a person, Seungmin was clearly gifted in the art of making friends. So now, being told that he lacked the skill of uplifting others greatly confused him. If that were true, then shouldn’t he have had the opposite experience with socializing?

“I—” He stutters, caught off guard. “Do my social skills not prove to be enough for you?”

“Those are two completely separate things,” Minho barely managed to suppress a sneer. “Seungmin, you’re great at casual talk—that’s no surprise. But you also have the tendency to be dense. And that’s putting it lightly.”

“Oh.”

That would make sense. A part of him also admitted that his younger counterpart did struggle with connecting to others. Yes, he had a lot of friends, but that didn’t mean he saw all of them equally. As harsh as that may be, the old Seungmin had this unfathomable standard for people he could call friends, which he used as a strict criteria for judging others. He still kicks himself whenever he gets reminded of how big his high horse used to be, for no reason. Seungmin was more than willing to leave that time of his life at the back of his mind to collect dust. His life has been so much better without it, and he would do anything to maintain this satisfactory present he has carved for himself.

His manager chuckled. “Who knows, though? Maybe you could finally practice your empathy with this conversation. You’ve been around professional robots for far too long.”

“That sounds like an insult,” Seungmin says, expressing his doubt.

“I’m just saying it as it is.” Minho patted his back twice. “Now, I already warned you enough. If you still want to talk to Actress Y/N, then go ahead. Just know that whatever comes out of that mouth of yours is completely your responsibility, and I will not cover for you if you come out of this one with a broken friendship.”

Seungmin let the words sink in.

“There you go, all done!” Eunha exclaims, lightly pushing your hair forward to make the volume more noticeable. You gave her a thankful smile.

Eunha was someone you'd only known for two days, but she was already becoming your favorite person on set. The way she manages to lighten your mood every time made her worthy of being on the list of people you greatly appreciated, especially with how things were going for you recently. Today too, her positivity was very welcomed.

“Thank you,” you say while admiring her work. “It looks pretty today too.”

The hairstylist beamed. “Of course it should be,” she huffs in pride. “You need to be the prettiest one here on set. After all, you’re the female lead!”

You knew she didn’t mean it to be, but her words felt like little stabs to your heart. The prickly ache spread slowly, like poison that was meant to be discrete. You chuckled to offset the pain.

“Right.”

Female lead. The character you worked so hard for—only for you to also ruin the chance with your own hands. You couldn’t help but think of how ungrateful you were being, and for what? A personal grudge towards your co-star, who was being more professional about the situation than you ever tried to be? It was almost laughable how belatedly you realized that the situation was never going to be in your favor. You weren’t someone looking to be pitied, so why were you hypocritically trying to paint yourself as the distressed damsel?

Eunha sent you a troubled glance as she fixed the tools on the table. “Are you alright? I—” She sighed. “I didn’t want to point it out earlier, but I guess my concern got the best of me. The bags under your eyes looked deep earlier—Yerin did a great job covering them up, though! You don’t worry about how you’ll look on camera, but I’m just worried about your condition.”

You sheepishly scratched your arm at being pointed out. “Sorry for worrying you. I just forgot the time last night and fell asleep late. You could say I was too excited to shoot again today.”

“Well, that’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one.”

You jumped in your chair, startled by Seungmin’s voice suddenly joining the space on your side of the tent. Eunha’s eyes gave you a silent apology before bowing to Seungmin and heading out of the tent, indicating that her task was finished. Your gaze fluttered toward your co-star, who was looking at you in a disapproving manner. It was then that you remembered his comment.

“And that was rude of you to disrupt a conversation that had nothing to do with you.”

Seungmin wasn’t fazed by your bite. “Why didn’t you sleep?”

“I asked a question first, Kim.” You crossed your arms at being ignored. “Also, I did sleep.”

"No, you didn’t,” he pressed on. You could feel your blood pressure rise at his insistence. “Even a twenty-minute nap could do wonders. You just look horrible.” You scoffed at the insult.

“Gee, thanks. Exactly what I needed to hear.”

Seungmin’s eyes widened comically, and you almost laughed at the sight. Almost. He looked so guilty of what he had just said that you felt the urge to tease him as revenge.

“Wait, no—”

“An explanation isn’t necessary,” you hummed. “Even if that wasn’t a joke, I could really care less right now.”

Your reply made Seungmin flail his hands around like a madman. “It was a joke. I didn’t mean anything about it,” he coughs out before composing himself after realizing how silly he was acting. “Sorry.”

“Ok. Thank you for apologizing.”

“Sure,” he trailed off. Seungmin was now unsure of what to even do.

Oddly enough, your heart warmed at his reaction. A part of you was thanking yourself for finally becoming more rational, as you thought that maybe he wasn’t so bad. Sure, your past together was still rocky territory, but you had to remind yourself that time had also passed. Seven years at that. That detail took you back to the conversation you two had back at the table reading. You remember the way you hissed at him that you had changed—what made you assume that he couldn’t do it too? Everyone was allowed to become better versions of themselves, and Kim Seungmin wasn’t exempted from that. He was but another person living amongst others in this world, after all.

Changbin was right. Seungmin also deserved an apology.

“I guess I also owe you an apology,” you say softly. “About how I’ve been towards you the whole time—it was immature of me. I hope we can continue to work well until the end of this project, like you said yesterday.”

“Now, this is just odd.”

Seungmin was now utterly lost. He recalls approaching you despite Minho’s warnings, deciding that he had enough self-restraint to not screw it up—only to end up insulting you without meaning to. But that wasn’t the confusing part.

It was your reaction.

In Seungmin’s experience, you weren’t one to let something go like that. Even back when you both were in your senior level days at the academy, a simple jest from him would set you off into flames. The you he knew would immediately choose to chew him out, hoping that he would get burned by a rogue ember of your fury for even just attempting to speak such words. But the person in front of him right now did none of that. The you in the present simply took the accidental insult and even apologized for the ones you’ve spat out over the previous days. It was a whiplash, to say the least—just yesterday he was still fighting to keep you in a flowing conversation. So, what was this he was witnessing?

“Is it?” You snicker. “Just think of it like winning. You were right. This is a high-profile project, and I’m over here messing around. I’ve prepared a better performance for you all to see today, so be rest assured.” Seungmin still wasn’t assured.

“Y/N, are you sure you’re alright—”

“Main characters on set!”

Damn. So that’s how it feels for your conversation to get interrupted by someone unrelated to it. Seungmin internally acknowledged your annoyance earlier and kicked the memory of himself from a few minutes earlier.

You turned back to him, tilting your head. “What was that?” Seungmin refused to admit that he found the action cute.

“No, it’s nothing,” he said, clearing his throat. “Let’s have a good shoot.”

05 : FIVE.

Okay, you do not think this was turning out to be a good shoot.

You were already regretting pulling another all-nighter the day after you got absolutely no sleep. This meant that you were already nearing 48 hours of no sleep, to which you were surprised you were still even capable of functioning. You had never gone this long without sleep, and it was both thrilling and terrifying to you at the same time.

Honestly, you were already expecting to feel lethargic after the shoot yesterday, especially after staying up the entire night to master your parts and was planning to go to sleep early to make up for it. However, after getting nothing but praise from the directors and filming crew the whole day for your stellar performance that day, you came to the conclusion that perhaps your sacrificial act was exceptionally effective. A little too effective since your manager even said that your acting became much more alive than the takes you did the previous day, despite feeling the complete opposite internally.

Now, while you normally wouldn’t describe yourself as someone who was peer pressured easily, it still felt really nice for your hard work to be acknowledged after the disappointing performance you had the day before. Which also led you to your current predicament—woefully repeating the same magical process that helped you gain your reputation back.

“You’re yawning an awful lot.” Seungmin raised a brow in question. “Don’t tell me that all the praise you got yesterday already got to your head, and you suddenly find all this boring.”

An irked look made its way onto your face, pinching hard on Seungmin’s arm. You watched in satisfaction as he yelped audibly at your damage, jerking away in reflex. “What the fuck, woman?”

“It’s what you get,” you say nonchalantly while shrugging. Seungmin scoffs at the response.

“Just because we have a truce now doesn’t mean you can abuse me whenever you like,” he snarls. “What happened to the Y/N who didn’t want me to talk to her unless, quote on quote, necessary?”

You cringe at the unwelcome reminder of your previous activities. “I apologized! Would you rather have me act like a total bitch again?”

“Well—no. That Y/N was a pain to deal with.”

“Then be grateful for what you have right now.”

Seungmin lets out an amused snort, crossing his arms and leaning backwards closer towards the living room’s walls, where you two were on standby. “Oh, believe me. I’m more than grateful.”

The set right now was in a cozy cottage house, designed to imitate what the female lead’s family home would look like. You had already moved past the beginnings of the main characters’ romance yesterday and were now heading into the development stage, where they spend more time together until they realize their feelings. A domestic scene in one character’s home was a popular trope—which was, of course, also included in the movie.

If today’s shoot goes well, then you only have one day left in the filming process before everyone packs up to head back to the city. Not for Seungmin, though. The male lead still had to film the first part of the movie where he quit his job at the company. You’d have to laugh at him about it on the last day.

First, you had to get through this shoot without fainting flat on your face.

It was a particularly hot day too, which made your drowsiness even worse. The rural countryside cottage didn’t have an air conditioner set up, so you had to make do with fans all over the place. But that barely did anything to cool you down, as the air around the place itself was humid. At least you weren’t shooting out in the sun today.

“Geez, my makeup might melt even before we start filming,” you groan. “That’s if my head doesn’t explode first.”

Seungmin chuckles. “Blame your character for being a sweater enthusiast. That outfit must be torture in this weather.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. The thick baby blue cardigan you were wearing felt like a punishment to wear at the moment. It was unfortunate that you felt really cute in this get-up because you wanted to trash on it so badly.

Actually, fuck it. Comfort matters more.

“I don’t understand how she does it,” you whine dramatically. “Every scene she’s had has her wearing some kind of version of a sweater. Does she not get hot at all?” You pull on your slightly weighted cardigan.

“I do think she’s plenty hot enough.” Seungmin smirks, glancing at you while waiting for your reaction.

You hummed in agreement. “She’s probably just tolerating it since it's her clothing style. I’ve had my fair share of those moments too.”

It wasn’t something you could see since you were more preoccupied with watching the staff prepare for filming, but Seungmin’s ears were slowly turning red. He took note of how his less than savory joke completely flew over your head, now leaving him to drown in the embarrassment of his original intentions.

Internally, he was already having a boxing match with himself. He thinks she’s plenty hot enough? What does that even mean? You were the only image he had of the female lead since you had her role! Seungmin wanted the ground to suddenly swallow him whole at the implication.

You, on the other hand, were fighting a completely different battle. The combination of the heat and your severe lack of sleep was becoming dangerous. You could already feel a growing pounding in your head, the world’s noise becoming more muffled by the second. It seemed like your vision wasn’t affected yet, though—and for that, you were relieved. That meant you could still stretch yourself out until the shoot was finished. You’d already done this once yesterday, so a second time wouldn’t be that bad, right?

Wrong.

Seungmin’s voice as he carried out his lines in the scene seemed so far away to you already, and it had only been an hour since the cameras started rolling. Internally, you were already sounding the sirens. Something was definitely wrong—you don’t think Seungmin was supposed to sound like he was underwater.

Your co-star seemed to notice that you were out of it too, except he couldn’t exactly stop the scene as you were still conducting your parts as proficiently as you could. Director Han hasn’t called a cut yet, either. So, he settled on carefully watching you for signs. You also thought you could last until the scene was over—until you couldn’t.

The last thing you remember was a figure rushing over to you before your sight went pitch black.

“Y/N!”

“Cut!”

Seungmin felt his heart race as he dashed over to catch you from crashing to the ground. What was going on? You were completely fine a while ago. How did you end up fainting? Could it have been the heat? He didn’t think it was going to be that bad for you since he was dealing with it pretty well. The heat wasn’t exactly unbearable. So what was it?

“Actor Kim Seungmin,” D.O.P. Bang called out. “We should take her to the medic tent. Someone, call her manager.”

Seungmin had never agreed more to a suggestion in his life.

“Seungmin? What’s—” Minho’s face paled in shock at the sight of your limp figure. “Oh, shit. That’s why everyone is running around like headless chickens. Quick, let’s get her to the medics.”

Minho sped over to give the actor a helping hand on steadying you, only to be stopped. “We’re wasting so much time.” Seungmin clicks his tongue.

Everyone could only watch as Seungmin positioned his arms on your back and behind your knees, hastily pulling you up towards him in a bridal carry and speeding away to the medic’s tent. Minho’s jaw dropped at his talent’s actions before recovering from the shock and tailing him.

“Seungmin!”

“What?” Seungmin responds half-heartedly as he sets you down on the cushioned stretcher, stepping back as the medics do their job.

“You—” Minho squeaks out. “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“That!” He gestured towards you, still unconscious and being checked on by the medics on standby. “Did you just carry Actress Y/N?”

Seungmin ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “And what about it? Did I commit a crime or something? I was just helping!”

Minho was conflicted. In all the years he had been working as Seungmin’s manager, the actor had never shown this much attention towards his other co-workers, despite maintaining an approachable and friendly image. Of course, that wasn’t particularly a bad thing—especially in an industry where caution towards everyone around you was basic common sense to prevent yourself from going down a road that would lead to your demise. The view was great up where it was high, but the fall was just as immense.

What Minho did acknowledge was your past with Seungmin. Because of that, he was inclined to think more about your friendship with his talent and how that played into your dynamic. Yet, over the course of the two days you two had been filming, he hasn’t exactly seen the kind of relationship he was expecting. There were discrepancies in what he knew about you and Seungmin, as well as gaps in the bond his actor painted a picture of. In times like these, there were only a few reasonable explanations that Minho could think of, which made him uneasy.

Something big was coming in the future—one that he needed to prepare for as early as now.

Hurried footsteps could be heard nearing the tent as Seungmin and Minho diverted their lines of sight towards the entrance, just in time to see a fairly muscular figure come in all frantic. “How is she?”

Minho immediately recognized the man from a conversation he had in the personal staff area, recalling his introduction as your manager. The former bowed slightly in greeting. “Manager Seo Changbin.” Seungmin felt his blood boil after seeing your manager’s late entrance.

“Where even were you?” He asked coldly, intentionally making his tone sharp. “You know, for her manager, you sure are practically nowhere to be found during shoots.”

Changbin splutters at the accusation. “Y/N doesn’t like it when I stay to watch! She says it’s pressuring!”

“Sure. But it’s your job to be on standby in the event that she needs you. How come you weren’t?”

“I—”

“Okay, that’s enough.” A new face entered the space, who Seungmin quickly made out to be Assistant Director Lee. The second-in-hand gave him a disapproving look. “Actor Kim Seungmin, please stop lashing out at Actress Y/N’s manager.”

Seungmin felt like he was seconds away from committing arson. “I’m not lashing out if it's a reasonable argument!”

He felt someone grab a hold of him, forcefully pushing him down to sit. It was only then that Seungmin seemed to finally be conscious of how emotionally he had been acting—accepting Minho’s foresight on his actions. Assistant Director Lee, on the other hand, did not appreciate his recklessness.

“That it is, but we’re going to need you to stay calm,” he states. “The situation is sensitive enough as it is.”

Seungmin felt like he had no choice but to agree. He couldn’t risk making an unreasonable scene in such a respected project set, and knowing you, a tension-filled tent wasn’t going to be your preferred area of rest. Glancing back at your unconscious figure still being tended to, he let out a sigh to release the extra pressure in his chest.

Just what was he doing right now?

Once Assistant Director Lee saw him calm down a significant amount, he clapped to disperse the heavy silence. “Great. Now, can someone inform us when she wakes up so we can restart the shoot?”

So much for calming down, because Seungmin’s temper flared up again in an instant. “Are you kidding me?” He growled. “No, we are not proceeding with filming today!”

“Actor Kim, we don’t have enough time—”

“I’ll pay for all the expenses for the extension and rescheduling of all the remaining shoots. Put all of it under my personal bank account.”

Minho’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets in shock. “Seungmin, what—”

“I said what I said,” Seungmin continued. “Now go do it. Both of us won’t step in front of the camera for the rest of the day.”

“You can’t just decide that for Actress Y/N,” Assistant Director Lee reasoned in disbelief.

Unluckily for him, Seungmin had already made up his mind—and when that happens, he isn’t one to give up on it.

“Then we’ll tell her it’s cancelled because I’m sure as hell won’t be filming today. You can’t make her act out the scenes prepared today without me.”

Assistant Director Lee was conflicted. Taking a day off so suddenly when they’d already had everything set up was going to be such a waste—and frankly, Director Han was already on edge about it. Granted, this wasn’t the first time he’d come across this situation, and certainly won’t be the last in his time in the industry. Now, an actor telling them that they’d pay for the cost of their demand? That one was new.

Kim Seungmin was notorious in the field for being a perfectionist, so he honestly came in here expecting him to agree with their plan. Maybe he should’ve considered the rumors he’d heard around the set that Actor Kim and you were closer than they initially thought. With that, Assistant Director Lee could only sigh. He’d just have to deal with Director Han’s displeasure.

Along with being a perfectionist, Kim Seungmin was also incredibly stubborn.

“I understand,” he concedes. “I’ll inform Director Han.”

Seungmin tried not to show his surprise on his face. He didn’t think he’d actually get this result so easily, but it was welcomed. “Thank you.”

“Let us know if you change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

Assistant Director Lee chuckled at Seungmin’s firm reply before announcing his leave. The atmosphere in the tent improved as he stepped out, but awkwardness still lingered in the air. Minho dropped down to slump on a plastic chair, leaving Changbin to stand stiffly near him.

“Y/N is totally gonna kill you, dude.” Minho groans, completely letting go of formalities in stress.

Seungmin had half the mind to be embarrassed by his choices. “And to think I’m doing this all for her sake,” he scoffs good-naturedly before turning to your manager. “Did something happen before the shoot? She couldn’t have passed out like this just because of the heat today.”

Changbin scratches at his neck. “Uh, I’m not sure—”

“—It’s exhaustion,” one of the medics spoke up. “Her body seems to be completely fatigued, as well as slightly dehydrated, but that must be the heat’s contribution. Has she not been getting enough rest?”

They watched as Changbin’s face morphed into shock, completely unsure of how that could’ve even happened. “But she said she was going to bed early yesterday!”

Your manager was slowly getting on Seungmin’s nerves. First, it was his constant absence from the set. Next, it was his blatant disregard for your well-being. The last time he checked, a manager was supposed to be aware of their talent’s condition as much as possible. Any less and it would be neglect.

He narrowed his eyes. “The picture you’re painting for me is not a good one, Manager Seo.”

“What are you implying right now, Actor Kim?” Changbin pounced back, Seungmin’s tone stirring negative emotions inside him.

Seungmin refused to back down. “You know damn well.”

“Kim Seungmin!”

“Watch your mouth—”

A rustling noise interrupted the three men’s small disagreement. “Ugh,” you groaned in pain. “What in the world?”

“Y/N!” Seungmin jumps up without a second thought to rush over. In the distance, Minho and Changbin’s eyes meet in mutual speculation.

“Seungmin, sorry, but please shut up.” You raise a hand to cradle your head. “My head is pounding.”

You could vaguely make up a medic handing Seungmin some pills and a bottle of water, saying something about how you were stable enough to just need rest and hydration. The next thing you knew was feeling a hand gently take your chin to create an opening and a pill being dropped inside, along with a water bottle pressing against your lips. You gulped it down in shock.

“The fuck—” You coughed. Another hand came up again to wipe some of the water you spilled around your mouth before you pushed it away. “Kim Seungmin!”

Your co-star rolled his eyes at your dramatics. “Would it kill you to stop being so fussy?”

“Not when you’re treating me like a child!”

Changbin clears his throat, effectively stopping your bickering. “Uh—I’m going to go get us lunch,” he meekly informs you two. “The medics also already went out to get food earlier, so I think we need to get our share before it’s all gone.”

Minho nods at Changbin’s words a bit too enthusiastically for your liking. “I’ll come with him. You two can talk while waiting.”

The two of you watch as your managers dash out of the tent like cartoon characters, raising a suspicious brow at their sudden change in behavior. Seungmin clicked his tongue in annoyance before turning back to you and flicking a finger at your forehead without warning. You squealed at the added pain as Seungmin’s suppressed laughter filled the room.

“You are such an asshole!” You shriek while bringing both hands to shield your forehead belatedly.

“And your hair looks like a nest,” he replies with a snicker.

You gave him a glare at his comment, rubbing the sore spot gently. “Shit,” you whined, feeling the ache from inside your head again. “I can’t believe I fainted. How long was I out? What about the shoot? Are we resuming after lunch?”

The questions you were asking him only served as Seungmin’s reminder of his actions earlier, causing his mouth to run dry. Truth be told, even he was unsure of how to tell you everything that happened while you were away in dreamland. He couldn’t just drop the ball at you that he made sure that the shoot had been cancelled just for you to have the rest of the day to rest up. At the same time, there was practically no other way to convince you that the cancellation wasn’t your fault unless he told you the truth.

But Seungmin had already caused you enough misunderstandings to last a decade—and he wasn’t about to add another one.

“You weren’t out for long,” he told you. “I’m actually surprised you even woke up right away. The shoot’s cancelled.”

He watched you pause to let the words sink in. What did he mean by the shoot’s been cancelled? Wouldn’t that be too costly? After all, you were literally renting a place far away from the city to shoot this movie. A shoot cancellation meant an extension, which also meant new arrangements needed to be made. You curled up into a ball, wanting to evaporate into the clouds at the heat of the sun. How much more were you going to screw up everyone’s experience with this project?

“Is it because of me?” You muttered.

Seungmin felt something inside him break at how small you made yourself seem. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid, only to once again fail to prevent it. That one was on him, though—he didn’t manage to tell you right away that he was the one responsible for the shoot’s cancellation. He felt the need to chase away your negative headspace as fast as possible.

“Why do you always blame yourself first? I cancelled the shoot, so just get some more rest.” He sighs.

Your eyes snap upwards to meet his. He had got to joking. “What?” You ask, bewildered at the statement. “And they agreed? I can still continue!”

Seungmin immediately acts to lift your legs back up on the stretcher when he sees you trying to get up. He places a heavy hand on your calves to lock them in place before sending you an unamused stare. “Land a single foot out of this stretcher, and I’ll make sure the shoot gets moved to next week.”

“You can’t just do that!” Your mouth gaped open like a fish. “Do you even know how bad the cost is going to be to extend for that long?”

“I’m more than capable of shouldering the expenses.”

That single statement made your stomach drop. “You cannot be serious,” was your horrified reaction. “Seungmin, did you pay for the extension costs?”

The man before you only shrugged, like he hadn’t just dropped significant information. “What about it?” You blanched at his unconcerned attitude.

“What do you mean, what about it?” You asked, absolutely outraged. “I swear, you’ve always been like this! You think you could just play around with everything around you, since you can. Why can’t you take things seriously for once?”

It was Seungmin’s turn to look offended. “Now, when did I ever do that?”

“The charity drama!” You cry out. “Yeah, I knew all about your little plan back then. If you acted well enough, they wouldn’t pay attention to whatever mess I was making, was it? I even overheard you telling your friends you chose me to become the female lead just because you were curious about how I kept advancing levels when I barely met the standard—and there I was foolish enough to believe that you chose me for my skills!”

“I—” Seungmin stammers. “I don’t remember that.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” you held back a sob, feeling emotional as you poured out your inner insecurities. “Why would you? Someone of your caliber could go around bending things to your will, and no one would bat an eye since they would justify it with your talent. I’m the complete opposite, Seungmin.”

Seungmin was quite alarmed, to say the least. These were your side of the story—the side that he never got to acknowledge. He could only watch you try to keep yourself together in front of him, clearly struggling as your emotions ran wild at the release of what seemed to be years of suppressed experiences. His body was screaming at him to move and comfort you in any way he knew how, but for the first time in his life, Seungmin was completely frozen in guilt.

“I’ve lived the life below people like you. We were the ones that were always stuck in the shadows, where stepping on us became the norm. People like us were the pieces in your games of chess who couldn’t even speak out in the fear of being thrown out.” You inhaled deeply before meeting his gaze. “It was a life you would never even begin to imagine experiencing at your ability, Seungmin.”

Your words were like spears thrown at Seungmin’s heart. They all rang true in his head. He would never understand what you went through because he was part of the problem. Seungmin thought back to his past, trying to recall where it all started.

He was a young child, only ten years old, when he discovered his passion for acting. His class decided to do a play for the school festival, and he got the role of the main character completely by chance through drawing lots. Young Seungmin didn’t think of it too much and agreed out of obligation. It wasn’t until practices started that he started to take an interest in it after receiving constant praise from his classmates and homeroom teacher. This fascination only bloomed more on the day of the festival, where he found out that performing for people could be this exhilarating.

From then on, Seungmin made it his lifelong dream to become an actor. Seeing his talent in the field, his parents supported him wholeheartedly, eventually leading to them suggesting he join an acting academy to improve. The praises didn’t stop even after he joined the academy—in fact, they only doubled in frequency, making Seungmin come to the conclusion that he must’ve been some sort of prodigy. Perhaps it was due to that mindset of his that he paraded around like the world was his. To his defense, none of the adults around him saw the wrong in his behavior and even went as far as encouraging it.

It was when he graduated from the academy and started his work as a professional actor that he got humbled by all the talent around him. Everyone seemed to be on his level or greater, which completely shattered his worldview. During those times in his rookie years, he learned the importance of hard work and how much it could really make a difference. There was one time that he thought to himself—maybe this was the reason he felt so attracted to you.

You were the first person he ever associated with the difference that hard work brought. Seungmin first noticed you on the first day of intermediate level. He had gotten to that level first and thus kept an eye out for notable candidates from the beginner level. The thing is, he had never even heard of you or any of your performances—so it was a complete surprise to see you climb up to intermediate level. From then on, he observed you from afar, never really approaching. To him, you seemed plain; someone who didn’t even exude star quality. So eventually, he forgot all about you again.

Until he saw your name on the same paper as his, indicating that both of you would be in the same batch that got promoted to junior level.

The charity drama was another project Seungmin gained an unexpected opportunity from. With the privilege given to him as the top ranker for the year-end evaluations, he chose you as his female lead. All Seungmin wanted was to see what kind of shine you had as an actor, and he was rewarded greatly with your stellar performance after days of painful practices. When you were once again bumped up to senior level right alongside him, he was ecstatic. You had changed since the charity drama, and your aura started to take up more space in their small practice room. Seungmin wanted to get closer to you, but the two of you would only end up clashing every time. He guesses that you and him were just complete opposites in everything, down to your work ethic. He still tried to interact with you in any way he knew how, though—which led to his friends teasing him about his little crush on you.

Now, he couldn’t help but think that maybe they were right.

Seungmin pulled his hand away from your calves, letting his hands fall down on his sides before bowing deeply. “I’m sorry. There would be no excuse for my actions, and it’s even worse that I have no recollection of the details when I’ve obviously affected someone. I know an apology wouldn’t erase everything that has already happened, but it would be the start of my attempts to make sure it doesn’t happen again. At this point, all I can ask for is your forgiveness.”

You quickly reached out to grasp his arms, trying to pull him up from his act of remorse. “Get up—oh my god. It’s fine, Seungmin. Really. I’ve already forgiven you yesterday, honestly. My behavior also had some faults towards you, and it was unacceptable.”

“Knowing why now, I think it was more than reasonable.”

You let out a laugh at his words. “You’re just trying to make me feel better,” you teased. “Now, I think the other crew members also deserve an apology from us.” Seungmin’s face paled at the reminder. Just imagining Assistant Director Lee scolding him for his audacity earlier was sending him into early retirement.

“Yeah,” he coughs. “But can we not take back the shoot cancellation? It would be so awkward for me if we did, and you still need the rest.”

“Fine, you big baby.” You pinched his cheek after seeing his childish pout. Seungmin was quick to swat your hand away, despite the burning sensation he could feel heating up his ears. “So does this mean we’re friends?”

Even if he could feel a crack form in his heart from your innocent words, Seungmin refused to show it.

“Sure. Friends.”

06 : SIX.

Being friends with Seungmin was odd.

Granted, you already got a taste of what that felt like for the two days that flew by since you two decided on a truce. However, you didn’t really feel much of a change in your dynamic in those two days—not until things took a turn after your conversation in the medic tent.

After your little heart-to-heart session, Seungmin had begun acting strangely. And by strangely, you meant becoming a complete one-eighty from the Kim Seungmin you were used to. It was almost like he was replaced by a softer, more warm-hearted version of himself. In one talk, you were suddenly subject to his endless affection, albeit still exhibiting the Kim Seungmin flare that you were comfortable with. Overall, it was just weird to think that four days ago, the two of you were fighting like cats and dogs. Now, you watched him bounce up and down as he gave himself a pep talk to prepare for the kissing scene.

“Are you that nervous?”

Seungmin flinches at your question, seemingly not expecting your voice to enter his head while he was seconds away from a meltdown. Your co-star looks at you sheepishly. “Is that bad? This is driving me insane.”

That was another thing different about Seungmin after the medic tent incident. He acted a lot more endearingly in your eyes. You faintly recall a comment you made a few days ago about how Seungmin would never be akin to a small bird who deserved to be doted on. But seeing the Seungmin in front of you right now, you might just take back your words.

Kim Seungmin had a lot more layers than you thought—and you found yourself wanting to uncover them all.

“I’m sure this isn’t your first kiss on camera,” you snort. “Just go do it like you usually do. Act like how your character would act in the moment. You have my whole consent, anyway.”

Seungmin wanted to tell you how much you didn’t understand his dilemma right now. In all fairness, even he was somewhat unsure of what was happening to him the past few days. All he did know was that he was right in what he thought during the first day of filming—he really did feel like he was turning younger in front of you.

It was almost embarrassing how easily he slipped into that carefree attitude around you, especially after your conversation in the medic tent. He was doing so well up until then, so what happened? Seungmin couldn’t be more curious about his own actions. He did have an inkling of what it was, but he needed more proof to act on it. Seungmin couldn’t risk becoming more of an idiot in your eyes. You already had too much of that experience with him during your filming yesterday, which was the rescheduled shoot of the one he demanded to pause.

That also meant that this was the last day you two had on set together before everyone packed their bags and headed back to the city. After that, it would be just him again on set to film the movie’s first scenes of his character.

Seungmin wasn’t disappointed. He totally wasn’t.

“What are you going to do if I lose control and give into my character, huh?” He argues. You stopped reading your script to give him an unamused stare.

“Seriously?” You scoffed. “If you really must know, then I wouldn’t do anything. If that’s what the male lead feels, then the female lead just needs to reciprocate if they’re really in love with each other. As their actors, we need to deliver those same emotions.”

You didn’t get what was making Seungmin so on edge about the scene. Reviewing his past works, this certainly wouldn’t be his first on-screen kiss, nor was it his first romance project as the male lead. What made you so different from his other co-stars that was making him act like a rookie?

“If anything, I should be more nervous than you. This is actually my first kiss scene!”

“That’s just even worse!” Seungmin whines, burying his face in his hands. “This is gonna be terrible.”

It was then that you finally had an idea as to why Seungmin looked like he was having a mid-life crisis this early in his life.

You felt a grin creep up on your face and paste itself there. “Did you want this to be a good memory for me?”

Seungmin groans at your poking. “Stop teasing me! So what if I do? Did I commit a crime, huh?”

“The crime of stealing my heart, yes.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Thank you,” you laugh. “I try my best.”

Seungmin mutters something beneath his breath—something you couldn’t hear because of Director Han calling for the two of you. He watched as you skipped away, leaving him to follow in your footsteps. Seungmin smiled at the picture painted in front of him.

“I know.”

You stopped at your designated place in front of the camera, turning back to look at Seungmin beside you, who was already sweating bullets. Your hand unconsciously lifts up to wipe them off, which startles the both of you. Seungmin opens his mouth to say something but was cut off by Director Han’s loud voice.

“Alright!” He claps. “This is our last scene for the day before we call it a wrap! I’m sure you two already know what it is, so all I’ll say is don't think too much about this. Enjoy it, or whatever you want to do—as long as it looks natural. Sounds good?” The two of you nod at him.

“Okay, camera starts at three,” he says, motioning towards D.O.P. Bang. “Two, one. Action!”

You took the opportunity to appreciate the scenery around you as the camera started rolling. The scene was set on a hill with a breathtaking view of the rest of the town. Hues of orange and pink start to tint the surroundings as the sun sets in the background. It was nothing less than ethereal, and you almost envied the female lead for having this moment in her life.

“I’ve always wanted to take someone here,” Seungmin says, reciting his lines. “When I was younger, I told myself that I was going to bring my true love here and propose. It was unfortunate that I moved away—this was my favorite spot in the whole world.”

You let yourself completely immerse in the situation. “Propose, huh? I’m sure the lucky person would love it up here. It’s so serene, like it's taking away all your stress just by being here.”

Seungmin gently grabs your hand into his, making you turn to meet his eyes. You almost gasped out of character after seeing the immense amount of love swirling in his gaze. Love looked great on him, you pointed out in your head. One day, Seungmin was going to look at someone else with the same gaze—someone that he loved with all his heart. A tinge of hot green jealousy burned in your stomach at the thought.

Part of you yearned for someone to look at you even just a fourth of the way Seungmin portrayed the male lead’s longing for the female lead. But for now, you had a role to fulfill. You could just lock these feelings up for later.

“Do you?” He asks. Your breath hitches at his question. “I’m not proposing—well, not yet. But I brought you here for a similar reason.”

Seungmin reaches for your other hand, now holding both of them. “I love you so much. I know our time together hasn’t been the longest, but it seems like my heart has found its way back home. Honestly, I first thought that it was just because I was back in town, but eventually I realized that I felt at home with you too.” He caresses your knuckles with his thumbs. “Maybe my heart knew where it belonged long before I did. I loved you back then, just like I love you now.”

You couldn’t help but genuinely tear up at Seungmin’s monologue. It was such a beautiful feeling to be loved, and you hoped that someday you could experience the same kind of love you acted with. “So, I’ll ask you this question,” Seungmin continued.

“Will you be mine?”

“Yes,” you sobbed out.

Seungmin lifts his hands to cup your crying face, bringing you closer to his own. The moment your lips connected felt so magical that you ended up leaning in more, savoring the moment with your fluttering heart. Seungmin reciprocates the act, kissing you with more emotion than he did just a second ago. His lips felt like smooth pillows, coaxing you to release all the tension you had left and rest—with him. Seungmin was being careful yet passionate at the same time, leaving you to drown in the sheer magnitude of the butterflies.

You couldn’t help but love every passing second that you were lost on his lips.

When you two pulled away due to the lack of air, he kept his forehead to yours, noses touching. The soft sound of both your laughter filled the surrounding area.

“Cut! That’s a wrap for today!” You hear everyone start cheering at Director Han’s words. Seungmin chuckles at them as he slowly steps back, missing the way your body followed after his warmth.

“Congratulations,” he says gently. You felt your heart skip a beat. “Your first on-screen kiss, done. How did I do?”

Oh, this was going to be dangerous for your heart.

07 : SEVEN.

There’s been an empty feeling in your heart since yesterday that you were trying to ignore.

It was currently the day after you returned to the city. You watched the bustling streets of urban life filter through the car’s tinted windows while Changbin continued to drive you back home after a busy day in the company. Something you had never expected to happen was getting attached to the small countryside town you filmed in enough to miss it like this.

You felt it when you stepped out of the car yesterday to head back to your apartment—the polished concrete floors of the parking building suddenly felt foreign to you. The abundance of luxury cars was evident in the space, reminding you that you were once again in the city. It felt almost cold and lonely with the way you couldn’t see the hills you got used to seeing all day long. But it would do, you think to yourself.

The city could also be warm if you wanted it to be.

“Oh? I think they’re filming the first scenes of the movie in a building around here,” Changbin pointed out from the driver’s seat. “Minho mentioned this street a day ago.”

You raised a brow at his words. “Since when did you and Seungmin’s manager get so close?”

“Ever since you and his talent did,” Changbin snickers.

Heat rose to your face at your manager’s teasing. It was no secret to anyone who witnessed the movie’s shoot that you and Seungmin got extremely close after the fainting incident. You were sure that his efforts to stop the filming from continuing that day was also the talk of the town with the crew members. After all, who would go so far as to pay for rescheduling costs for their co-star? Sure, you and Seungmin were friends, but the two of you were barely talking in the first few days of the project. Anyone in their right mind would find his actions out of the blue—just like you did too.

Maybe it was just Seungmin’s way of making up for all the things you both went through. At first, it made you mad at how he flaunted his blatant disregard for the people affected by his decisions. The image of younger Seungmin came to mind, triggering the part of you that still held a slight resentment for what he did before. However, you found yourself slowly changing your mind as you two apologized to the crew members for the sudden decision, promising them swift and quality scenes the next day. As Seungmin walked you back to your inn’s room, you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of happiness bubble in your stomach at the thought of someone caring enough to do this for you.

You watched as the evident signs of a film crew appeared in the distance, right in front of an office building. The same tents you’ve come to familiarize yourself with stood strong, indicating that this was indeed filming the same movie you were working on. It was already early in the evening, so they should be wrapping up any time soon. Should you stop by and say hello?

“Do you want to stop by and visit? You don’t have any schedules left for the rest of the evening,” Changbin suggests, getting ready to park near the building if you give confirmation.

Maybe you could repay Seungmin for his support over the past few days by visiting him. You smile at the thought of catching him off-guard.

“Sure, why not?”

The summer air of June was starting to make itself present despite already cooling significantly due to the sun saying its goodbyes an hour or two ago. Bright lights scattered across the vast street, a mixture of car lights, building lights, and streetlights morphing into the familiar image of a city that everyone knew. You walked towards the set peacefully, effectively going under the radar with a black mask covering your face. It was just a few steps more until you reached the barricade, when a familiar voice called out your name.

“Y/N?” Eunha squinted her eyes to determine if it really was you, only for you to watch them widen in surprise when her conclusion was proven correct. “Oh, it is you!”

You waved as you got closer. “Hi, Eunha. I saw you guys while passing by and thought I’d give you a visit,” you say shyly. Eunha beamed at your explanation.

“That’s so sweet of you; you’re always welcomed here!” She gives you a hug, quickly separating to drag you over the barricade. “Come on, I’ll show you to the others.”

Witnessing the set as a visitor was interesting. Despite the multiple people that greeted you on the way, it still felt as if you were an outsider with a V.I.P. pass to tour the set. Normally, you would be somewhere near the center, where the main scene was going to be shot. So staying back and watching the other crew members do their own things on the outskirts of that area was a new experience. In a way, you felt giddy like a child on a field trip.

“Actress Y/N is here!”

Eunha’s ecstatic voice traveled throughout the main area of the set, catching the attention of the directors, who had a figure you knew all too well standing right beside them. His eyes snapped up from the monitor D.O.P. Bang was showing him, eyes searching around for yours. Once he caught sight of your face, his eyes lit up.

“Y/N?”

If anyone asks, you totally weren’t checking him out. The clean black office suit he was wearing was incredibly flattering on his features, along with the formal brush-up the hairstylists put his hair in. You had only seen him with his hair down for the past few days—with his character supposedly portraying the look of someone who was comfortably back home to rest. And while that Seungmin was also objectively handsome, the way his hair was framing his face right now was stirring something more inside of you. Swallowing the feeling away, you straightened yourself.

“Hi, Seungmin.” You laughed. “Missed me?”

Seungmin abandoned his post with the directors and sped towards you. “Why are you here? It’s getting late,” he says, worried. Seungmin lets his eyes wander behind you for a second before a frown finds its way to his face. “And where’s that damned manager of yours?” You sighed at his obvious complaint.

“When are you going to let down on Changbin?” You say, unamused. “I swear, he means well. I came from the company, so he’s guarding the car since it’s just on hazard.”

“Still—” Seungmin tries to argue, only to be cut off by you waving your finger like he had been a bad child.

“Stop that. We talked about your coddling.”

He clicks his tongue in disapproval. “Maybe I’d stop once you actually learn how to take care of yourself.”

A series of claps interrupted the conversation you two were having. “Okay, break it up, lovebirds,” Minho says while inserting himself between you two. “It’s so nice to see you again, Actress Y/N. But we have a crew celebration dinner to attend, so I’ll borrow Seungmin first over here.”

Your co-star resists his manager, staying firmly on spot to prove a point. “Wait, I’ll walk her back to her car first.” Minho gave him an odd look.

“What do you mean walk her back?” He questions. “She’s attending. You just need to get changed out of that suit.” It was your turn to look confused.

“Huh?”

That was how you suddenly found yourself sitting at a long barbecue restaurant table with the other female crew members, silently listening to their energetic conversations while downing as much meat as you could. You didn’t know if this was a curse or a blessing in disguise, but you would surely regret it if you didn’t make the most of what was handed to you. Free food is still free food, even if it was a sponteneous invitation from the directors.

“I’m so happy we finished filming!” The woman assigned to your makeup, Yerin, said aloud. “Now it's those computer bastards’ turn to slave away.”

You couldn’t help but feel guilty for a portion of her hardships. “Once again, I apologize for all the trouble I caused you on set.” You slightly bowed while still sitting. “Hopefully, it will be better the next time we get to work together.” Yerin only waved off your apology.

“Oh, please—don’t be such a worrywart! Having you on set was a delight,” she squeals. “Plus, we had a blast seeing the development between you and Actor Kim Seungmin.” Eunha’s face quickly turned into one of horror.

“Yerin!”

You paled at her words. “I’m sorry, what?”

What did she mean by that? The inside of your mind turned into a battlefield at Yerin’s implication. Your eyes immediately turned to search for Changbin, feeling the need to inform him of a possible issue in the near future. In your experience in the industry, scandals always started like this. You didn’t want this to affect Seungmin’s career negatively, so it was always better to prepare early than late.

“Don’t listen to her, Y/N,” Eunha frantically says, trying to get a hold of her co-worker. “She’s just drunk.”

Yerin pushed her hands away, albeit weakly. “Eunha, stop being such a party pooper,” she whines. “We all know they’re dating now. Oh, our crew has tight lips, though! We won’t sell you guys or something.” That didn’t ease the panic that had already formed in your stomach.

“We’re not dating.”

You could only watch as Yerin’s showed genuine shock at your revelation. “Wait, for real?” She gasps. “That’s too bad. You two look great together!”

“Yerin, seriously!”

“Sorry, I’ll just go get some fresh air.” You excused yourself as politely as you could before standing up to head out the front door.

The now-cooled air pricked at your skin, making you breathe a bit more easily than in the humid interior of the restaurant. You lowered yourself to the narrow road’s curbside, choosing to sit down and admire the quiet neighborhood’s lights. It felt a lot better out here than inside, making you feel guilty for not enjoying the celebration more than you should have as one of the main characters for the project.

If you had refused, it would’ve been a bad look. You didn’t have a schedule for the night to use as a reason, and lying to the people who gave you the opportunity to work on your biggest project yet was out of the question. At the same time, you think of what you would’ve been doing instead if you had said no to their dinner offer. Laying down in your apartment while eating takeout wasn’t such a bad scene. The sliding of the aged wooden door brought you out of your thoughts.

“See? Just what I said,” a monotonous voice pointed out. “No self-preservation skills whatsoever.”

You rolled your eyes at the comment. “It’s just the outside of a family-owned barbecue establishment, Seungmin. There’s practically no one out here at this time.”

“Does that not make it worse?” He gave you a look of disapproval, crouching down slowly to join you on the curbside. “You have a knack for making people worry, do you?”

“Then stop worrying!” You snapped—his words reminding you of the situation you had just fled from to find peace.

Seungmin raised his hands in surrender. “Woah,” he exclaims. “Alright, something is clearly wrong. Talk to me.”

You could only turn away, feeling yourself unable to face him. It was an awkward subject to bring up, and you told yourself that Yerin had already promised that the crew was tight-lipped. Objectively, there was nothing more left for you to worry about. Subjectively, the implication bothered you. Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows at your reaction.

“Hey,” he calls out softly. “Did someone say something to you back there? You know I can beat them up, right?”

You grimaced at his attempts to comfort you. “You’re so violent,” you frowned. “What if it was a woman?”

“Oh, then I’m out of that. Sorry.”

“So full of shit, that’s what you are.”

Seungmin chuckled. “And that I am,” he replies, amused. “But seriously, I’m all ears if you want.”

A bitter taste announced its presence on your tongue, your mind forming a whirlpool of thoughts once again. “Why? Since we’re friends?” You spat out.

The space around you turned silent with Seungmin’s lack of response. You fought the urge to give him a discrete glance, just to see the damage you created. It took a few more seconds of the evening breeze being the only one talking between you two before Seungmin eventually spoke up.

“I’ll let you in on a secret,” he says in a low voice while running a hand through his hair to pull it back. His hairstyle from earlier was long gone, leaving you to wonder how he got rid of the hairspray so easily. “I actually don’t like that we’re friends.”

He watched as you deflated rapidly at his confession.

“Not in that way!” Seungmin splutters. “It’s just that I—ugh.” He brought up a palm to rub across his face.

Now, you were lost. The path of where the conversation was going became lost to you, making you stand in uncharted territory. Seungmin stayed silent for a few more seconds, trying to collect his thoughts. You let him have the time.

“You might curse at me for this or even put a distance between ourselves. But since this is our last day seeing each other on set until the movie’s release, I’ll take the chance now before I end up regretting I didn’t.”

“Seungmin, what—”

“The thought of staying just friends with you has been bothering me for a while now. It was like I was subjecting myself to my own personalized torture, where I couldn’t get away even if I tried. I’m still not sure what this entirely means for me—for us, but what I know is that platonic would never satisfy me at this rate.” He purses his lips, contemplating how to continue.

Eventually, Seungmin raised his head slightly to meet your eyes. “It’s odd. Admittedly, I’ve had my fair share of romantic relationships in the past, yet none of them could compare to what I was feeling now. At first, I thought it was just an obsession with you. Something that stemmed from my previous interest in you back at our senior level of academy—”

“You had a what?”

“I know,” he laughs humorlessly. “My friends used to tease me that I had a crush; that was why I was bothering you so much. Back then, I just brushed them off as jokes, telling them I only saw you as a rival. Well, look where that ended up.”

You were frozen in shock at his confession. “Seungmin,” you start. “I don’t know what to say.” He shakes his head.

“You don’t have to. Just let me have this moment to pour everything out,” he says. “Y/N, to put it into words, I feel at ease when I’m with you. At the same time, it always felt as if I was constantly worried about when it would end. That I would be left on my own again once you had finished your business with me. I tried to reason with myself, to put an acceptable distance between us in the case that what I had wasn’t the best for you. But I couldn’t do it, Y/N. Every time your voice entered my ears, it was like becoming a child. Unable to control their emotions and doing things without a second thought just because it felt like the right thing to do at the moment.” Seungmin looks up to the sky.

“That kiss we had—I think it was the happiest I’ve been in a while. It might have been just a job to you, because you could say it really was, but for me, it was finally a chance to express everything I had been holding back for the past few days. All I want you to remember is that nothing from that act was faked,” he exhales. “I really don’t think this is something you feel for a friend, so—”

“Let’s see where this takes us.”

“—What?”

“I’m not sure how you expect me to top what you just told me, but I’ll try with my own words.” You teased him with a genuine smile. “Seungmin, I feel strikingly similar to what you feel about me. Just maybe not as intensely yet.”

You let yourself move at the need to cup his face as he continues to look at you in shock. “I’m sure you already know that I spent quite a long time hating your guts, so the fact that I even started to feel an attraction towards you was shocking, to say the least. I was never one to believe in fictional tropes, despite my lifelong yearning to experience a love like that even once. As an actor, I’ve made a career out of acting those scenes out for people to see. But also as an actor, I knew more than anyone else how much real life would never be able to compare to the scripts I’ve seen brought to life on set. They were methodological, a feeling so carefully put together to achieve its maximum potential—real life isn’t like that.” You inhale deeply.

“Things happen for no reason, like they don’t for no reason either. And in a way, I felt both with you.” Your hands lowered themselves towards his hands to hold them tightly. “Enemies-to-lovers? It was laughable at first, but as the days went on, everything just fell into place as if it always belonged there. You feel like a child in front of me? I feel like I’ve never felt warmth in my entire life until you came along. When I first got out of the car yesterday, it was only then that I described urban life as cold and lonely in my entire life. I thought that maybe it was because I got too attached to the homey feel of the countryside that everything I’ve ever known somehow became foreign in a few days. But maybe it was just because of you.”

You found yourself giggling at the dumbfounded look he still had on his face, mind slow to take in what was happening in front of him. “What I’m saying is that I would love to see where this takes us. Right now, you can’t expect me to fall in love all of a sudden, especially considering our past. Though if you try hard enough, perhaps that might be just around the corner. What do you say?” Seungmin finally broke free from his trance, eyes watering.

“I’ll show you hard work that you’ve never seen before in your life.”

“And I believe it.” You pinch his cheek before standing up. “Now, let’s go back inside? The party is still ongoing.”

Seungmin clumsily follows, calling out just in time before you opened the door. “Wait—I still don’t have your number.” You gave him an astounded stare.

“Seriously?” You breathe out. “We went through all that, and we still don’t have each other’s numbers?”

Seungmin voices out his offense. “Well, I’m sorry that I was missing all my shots!”

“So, does that mean you’re gonna take a shot now, loverboy?”

“For you, yes.”

taglist 🔖— thank you for waiting ! 🫶

@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @djeniryuu @lixxpix @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @feelikecinderella @abbiestearsricochet @heelovesmeknot @floating-moon-dust @yoontaethings @hwangism143 @jazziesssss @hwangflora @vixensss @yourlocalstayyxi @dollce-exe @bambispostsblog @authentic-65 @dandelions-143

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not inviting my transfem friend to my all girls skinny dipping/camping weekend with my cisfem friends? TW for talking about rape

Okay, so the title leaves out a lot of info, so please read through this before making a judgement. There are four friends in total including me and said tranfem friend who I will call Lilly. I will refer to the other two friends as Nicole and June. This all took place not too long ago.

Also, if you are going to judge me in the comments please call me Nick because I keep getting OP confused with the mod whenever I read through other AITA posts and it hurts my brain [e.g. "Nick you're an AH/NTA/etc" vs "OP you're and AH/NTA/etc"]

Now, onto the story.

The thing about this skinny dipping/camping weekend is that it isn't really a vacation trip but an exercise that Nicole, June, and I have planned as a way to help us get over the hatred and toxic self sexualization of our own bodies that we all develop as a result of rape.

The skinny dipping part is meant to give us a safe space to see other ciswomen with similar bodies in a nonsexualized space, and and to simply have fun while embrace our bodies as something to used to have fun with, not just a disgusting useless object for sex to be acted upon on. The camping part would be for us to regoup, share how we are feeling, if this exercise is working, etc, and to cry together if need be over some smores and hot chocolate.

Lilly, who we didn't know at the time if she is or isn't also a survivor [she isn't], did not know that this is an exercise rather then a get-away. Since telling her was an exercise would out all of us as survivors to her, we elected to just not tell her about the trip all together since we didn't want to hurt her feelings and think she was being excluded from one our girl weekends. However, the day before we left for the trip she found out from Lilly's brother gossiping with her. She texted me asking to be invited, which left me in an very awkward spot.

Not only did I not budget food for a fourth person, but well, even though we could make it work, I know if I invited her we'd have to cancel the exercise aspect and turn an outing that was ment to be healing into just another weekend because while she is a women, she does have penis, which is a body part that is extremely triggering for myself and likely Nicole and June to see. I know that I alone, even in an innocent, fun, platonic environment, seeing a penis no matter who's it on would just cause me flashbacks and a panic attack. Who knows what kind of reactions it would cause Nicole and June.

I felt bad, but not wanting to cancel the exercise and not wanting to tell her it was an exercise because I don't want her to know that I'm, or to out Nicole and June without their permission, as survivors, I just gave her the excuse that I didn't have the money to feed four people and that I will save up a lot this month so next month all four of us can go camping together. She was understandablely hurt since she just thought she was being excluded, and I tried to reassure her, but it didn't really work. I contemplated a way to vaguely tell her it wasn't a typical girl's night, but it all sounded like toxic backtracking and so I just left it as it was.

I told Nicole and June about this and though they felt bad too, none of us saw how else to handle this because none of us want Lilly to know we're survivors. We agreed to take Lilly out to dinner and a spa when got back, and told her these plans, then went on our trip.

It was a very healing exercise for me and Nicole and June, and though all of us felt guilty for lying and excluding her, we all agreed afterwards we needed the trip.

However when I found the time to meet up with Lilly alone for lunch a day after we got back, she understandablely called me out for what see saw as being unreasonablely excluded. She yelled at me, called me toxic, a bad friend, etc, which I don't blame her for because if i was in her shoes, I would have felt just as betrayed and hurt.

I tried to calm her down though and use the budgeting excuse, but she just wouldn't stop yelling which is huge trigger for me. After two hours; being kicked out of the restaurant, driving her home, and brought inside her home, all of which I continually being yelled at, I just couldn't cope any more and broke down into tears while in a half panic and told her that it was a trip for me to heal as a rape victim and Nicole and June we're just there as support to help me since they were the only ones who knew [I didn't want to out them] even though I didn't want her to know because I was so desperate just to not be yelled at and berated anymore.

Lilly calmed down after that then told be she understands but that I'm the asshole for not telling her sooner because while she isn't a survivor herself she would have loved to be there to support me. I tried to tell her I wasn't ready for her to know but she said that was just an excuse to go behind her back and excluded her, and that sometimes I need to suck it up and let people know what's going on. I tried to being up that I really, really wasn't ready, but she just kept calling it an excuse and told me to leave once I apologized a few times. I went home, cried for a while and once I was through having panic attacks I called Nicole and June and told them what had happen.

We talked for a while, and Nicole agreed with Lilly that I should have sucked it up and gave her the story that the trip was for me and they were there for support from the start, and June agrued that Lilly shouldn't have yelled and pushed and accepted that budgeting excuse because sometimes it is that way in real life, where a friend gets excluded in one thing, and that we already told her before we went on the trip that we'd make it up to her.

I feel like an asshole though even now, but with Lilly not responding to any texts or calls for a few days now, and Nicole and June still arguing about who was in the right, and me still feeling extremely emotional and raw from being screamed at, I don't know who to trust to be the judge of if I'm in the wrong or not.

Also while Lilly's yelling does sound kind of bad after writing it down, she does have abandonment issues and us seemingly excluding her likely triggered them. Please don't judge her on that, it wouldn't be fair since I broke down crying and made a baby of myself due to my own triggers and I have learned a lot more coping skills then she has. I promise she is a very sweet and kind person, she just hasn't learn ways to cope with her triggers yet.

I'm not asking if she was the asshole because I know I earn that yellling for triggering her even if it ended up trigginger me, I'm just asking if I'm the asshole for not telling her the trip was for me to heal rather then making an excuse about budgeting being why she couldn't come. Please only judge me, my friends are all great and it's only me who possibly messed up since I'm the one who lied!

What are these acronyms?

[tozettastone]

I don't know if I'm actually keeping this one — there's some stuff I don't like about it and I will at least cut and rearrange it I think. And other reasons.

But it's an excerpt from a draft of a hypothetical future meeting between Maddie and Deidara, featuring Hidan. Contains references to violence.

---

"You're supposed to be dead!" Deidara yelled. He was getting closer by the second.

Hidan glanced over his shoulder at his approach, but he didn't actually turn to face Deidara.

Maddie made a valiant effort to shrink into Hidan's shadow, even though she was nearly the same height as him now.

"Can you please just stay between us?" she hissed.

"You aren't seriously scared of Deidara," Hidan said in half-offended bafflement, turning again as though another look at Deidara's baby-faced, short, featherweight person would reveal a more intimidating appearance if he only looked again and squinted harder. Evidently it didn't, because he just looked back at Maddie again. "You're not even scared of me!"

"He wants to kill me!"

"If he wanted to kill you this whole property would be on fire." Hidan rolled his eyes. "That's the only thing he's good for."

"He left me vomiting through a hole in my oesophagus!" she cried, high and aggrieved. And since her voice had never recovered, it cracked into a hoarse growl halfway through the sentence. "And he didn't pay me!"

"Ooh. Ouch," said Hidan, but he was smiling widely. He totally ignored that Deidara had tried to screw her out of scores of thousands of ryo and instead addressed the part that interested him: "That's a bad one. That bubbling where the open wound meets the acid. It's like it never ends."

That was exactly what it had been like, too. The bubbling had made thin watery bile go a lot further, and the acid washing over her cut throat had felt like it was going to keep going forever.

Maddie clenched her jaw. She had to figure out how to make Hidan see why she was upset — even though she knew it was kind of a lost cause, because Hidan really only cared about stuff he cared about, and was constitutionally incapable of the intellectual empathy that would permit him to understand that his closest people cared about other things.

Her eyes narrowed. She switched tactics. "But they just left me there! They didn't even watch. It didn't matter to him at all. Isn't that cruel?"

...And so now she sounded like a jilted one night stand who felt they'd had something special, which wasn't really how Maddie aspired to sound about getting her throat cut while she vomited and cried in the dirt. This did get through to Hidan a lot better than any of her preceding comments, though.

Unfortunately, the way in which it got through to him was not particularly agreeable to Maddie. Hidan still didn't turn to look at Deidara. His eyes were wide and intense and his lips shone wetly when he licked them.

"Do you want me to do it properly?" he crooned. "I promise I'll take good care of you. Hey, hey, you have more than one heart right now, don't you? We could..."

Blessedly, this train of conversation was cut short by Deidara actually arriving within conversational distance, a blur of fluttering gold and red and black, which forestalled any absolutely horrifying realisations Maddie might have been forced to face about how far she'd go for human contact right now.

Exactly as Hidan had predicted, Deidara didn't immediately try to hurt anyone. But he did look absolutely incandescent with fury.

"I knew there was something going on, hm! What the hell is it?" Deidara at last came to a stop, scowling fiercely at both of them. "Why's she so important? Is she another one? Like you? What? Your — sister or something?"

Hidan finally pulled a face and turned away from Maddie.

"Sister?" He looked at himself, and then looked at Maddie. "Seriously? You think she looks like me?"

Unlike Hidan, Deidara had at least two brain cells to rub together, and Maddie got to watch them working in real time as the weird emphasis on the word 'me' made him squint harder at her.

"Are you... related to Kakuzu?" he said finally. "Kakuzu has a family? What, a grand... niece?" He rubbed his chin. "I did think it was weird that Kakuzu knew a girl, hm!"

"No," Maddie said repressively, even as Hidan crowed, "A kid, even!"

Annoyed, she leaned in and tugged on his hair. "Hidan!"

"Ow! Madeline, that hurts, you know!" He twisted and pulled her hair back.

She put up with it stoically. It was just hair. "If he'd wanted him to know he'd have told him."

Deidara looked like, firstly, all his questions had been answered, and secondly, like he had many more, worse questions. It took him a second to compute.

"How can Kakuzu have a kid!" he bellowed, at a volume that made it hard to imagine why he'd come so close to them to talk. "There are things that are and aren't possible in this world!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Maddie said defensively, even though she herself had had some pretty incredulous thoughts about Murakami Ami's taste in men.

Maddie felt sure she would never fall prey to any such longing: personally, she liked seeing other people vulnerable, and to feel perfectly in control. If someone like Kakuzu had shown the slightest sexual interest in Maddie, she'd have fled the fucking country.

Hidan made an interested little hum in his throat, watching Deidara's face just as closely as Maddie was.

Deidara stared at her, aghast. "It's Kakuzu! What kind of person would...?"

Silently, Maddie pointed at Hidan.

Deidara's big blue eyes followed her gesture. For a split second, his face froze. Then his eyes narrowed. He lifted his chin sharply, sending his long pale hair bouncing around his face. Offered this opportunity of a graceful retreat, Deidara saw it, assessed it, and then totally rejected it in favour of a doomed frontal assault: "Nobody would — do that — with Kakuzu!"

"Ha," said Hidan, a great big huff of laughter. "Sure they would. And maybe if you survive 'til your balls drop, you'll get it."

"Don't be disgusting," hissed Deidara, reddening. He blushed easier than Hidan, despite not being quite as pale. He probably had more shame. Wouldn't have been hard. "Besides, you can't tell me Kakuzu's a... a family type! Hm!" He spat the words 'family type,' as if they'd personally offended him.

"He's not," said Maddie flatly.

"Aw, lucky you have an affectionate uncle," Hidan said smoothly, hooking her in with the pole of his scythe, so she had to either submit to the crushing one-armed hug coming her way or get sliced in half. Knowing Hidan, he probably considered both options great fun. "Someone has to teach kids about the important stuff."

She submitted to the hug. At least Hidan was large and warm. She could feel his heart beating through his ribcage. It was slow and steady, unconcerned. Her hearts, on the other hand, beat off-cycle, fast, little rabbits thumping away in the soft cage of her lungs.

She breathed slowly out, watching Deidara with wary eyes.

"The important stuff. And that's... Hidan," he repeated slowly. Maddie could almost see him processing this. At length, he pulled a disgusted face. "Wow. I'm almost sorry I asked."

[carolmunson]

baby, as if (part 1)

recommended listening: as if - blaque (2000) summary: your on and off again situationship just so happens to be the tri-state area's friendly neighborhood drug dealer. the robinhood of the the neighborhood. and you couldn't be any more toxic with each other. does the playboy know how to play nice when you start seeing someone new? dark!modern!drugdealer!fboy!eddie (but when i say modern i mean anywhere between the 2010s and 2020s. everyone is in their late twenties in this fic tho. except reefer rick.)

WARNING: 21+, minors DNI. this is a DARK piece of fanfiction. if you are sensitive to topics regarding threats of violence, references to abuse, active fighting between a couple, severely toxic relationships, manipulation, coercion, depictions of violence, drug use, alcohol use, potential gun violence, controlling behavior, blatant endangerment, threats of financial abuse, harsh name calling, and anything regarding genuine bad relationship content i would not recommend reading this work. this is not like my sadist!eddie fictions -- reader and eddie are NOT in a healthy relationship -- he is NOT A GOOD GUY in this. this fic does NOT contain non-con or dub-con. DEAD DOVE. DO NOT EAT on all warnings tho.

Two Months Ago

The screaming had both of your throats hoarse. Yelling from inside the club to the walk to the Camaro. The bouncers were so used to it by now that they just rolled their eyes. Not that they'd bother concerning themselves with the man whose always slipping them fifties so they'll let his friends in.

The screaming had both of your throats hoarse. Yelling from inside the club to the walk to the Camaro. The bouncers were so used to it by now that they just rolled their eyes. Not that they'd bother concerning themselves with the man whose always slipping them fifties so they'll let his friends in.

"You think I give A FUCK about you?! You think I -- HEY! HEY! GET IN THE FUCKIN' CAR. I'm talkin' to you!" "FUCK OFF! 'Get in the fuckin' car' -- fuck you, don't tell me what the fuck to do," you half yell while you click through the parking lot passed the car that's just roared to life.

He barrels around the hood, grill blowing smoke in the cold air from the heat. The parking lot is wet and your heels aren’t doing you any favors while you stumble over to the asphalt to call a cab. He growls when he gets to you with a grip so tight on your bicep that you yelp.

“Always out here fuckin’ embarrassing me,” he grumbles while he drags you toward the passengers seat of of the open car, “You drunk bitch.”

“You’re drunk,” you mumble, crossing your arms while he slams the door behind you. He takes his keys out while he walks around the front, falling into the deep bucket driver's seat. When he puts the key in and the engine revs loud, you groan. He revs it again just to fuck with you.

"Can you just fucking drive?" you shrill, "God, who're you trying to fucking impress out here?"

He pulls out of his spot and squeals out of the lot onto the street, immediately seething, "Who am I try'na impress? Me?"

"Alright, heeeere we go," you roll your eyes, street lights catching in your vision -- there and gone and there and gone. It's like they go all the way back to your brain. The lights spin with you.

He presses on the gas when you make it on the highway, speeding dangerously when he gets his hand on the clutch. He swerves between cars, one hand gripping the wheel, the other sits on his thigh. His brows are knitted together in a scowl.

"Don't you pull that 'here we go' shit, you always gotta fucking START somethin'," his free hand slaps down on the center console and the sound makes you jump, "Can't you ever shut the fuck up? Huh?"

You grin, it's the tequila -- it always made you a little excited for a fight, "Ooh, look how mad you are. You don't give a fuck about me right? RIGHT?! So what're you mad for?! What're you mad for?"

"Ooh-hoo-hoo, you piss me the fuck off. See what fuckin' happens if you keep runnin' your mouth," he grumbles, eyes getting dark. He reaches into his leather jacket pocket at a red light, pouring a bump of coke out on the back of his thumb. He snorts it loud because he knows you hate the sound of it.

"If you don't give a fuck then why are you so mad I danced with that guy? You were pretty busy with Jess and Shauna in the back room so why'd you make me leave the club?" you ask, taking the baggie out of his hand. He snatches it back roughly.

"Cause you looked stupid," he says like it's obvious, pressing on the gas again, "Like some dumb easy slut, all fucking over him. And when you look stupid, you make me look stupid. I don't fucking like that, I don't need people to think I keep bitches like that around me. You're so fuckin' sloppy."

"Oh, so lines off a stripper's tits doesn't make you look stupid?" you jeer, "Throwin' ones doesn't make you look stupid?"

He turns to look at you, "You're so dumb. How's throwing ones gonna make me look stupid?"

"You know what? You're right. It doesn't make you look stupid."

He huffs out of his nose, eyes rolling, an angry smirk flashing his teeth in the streetlights. You take a second, smiling at your reflection in the windsheild.

"It makes you look broke."

“Oh, I’m broke? I’m fuckin’ — " he speeds so fast your head hits the headrest, “I’m fucking broke? Who bought the heels you got on? I’m fucking broke?”

“I don’t ask for shit from you, you’re a fucking bum!” you yell back, “You’re such a fucking bum.”

“You want me to get your fuckin’ phone shut off? I’m a bum but I’m paying for your fuckin’ phone?” he yells back, swerving as he peels down the back roads towards Hawkins.

“Oh shut the fuck up, you f—”

“How’re you gonna pay for it, huh? Tips at the fuckin' diner aren't cuttin' it — should I start sellin' those videos you send me?”

Possessed, your hand comes out to smack him hard upside the head while he turns down the street, coming to a stop at a light, “Why do you always gotta say some dumb shit?”

You shove him, hands coming at him to to it again but he grabs your wrist in a bruising grip, "You think that's smart? What happened the last time you put your hands on me, huh?"

He shakes you by the wrist, eyes flashing erratically, "Huh?!"

"Want me to break your wrist again?" he challenges, fingers wrapping tighter, cutting off the circulation to your hand.

You get quiet, still fuming, but his hold on your wrist is starting to throb. You shake your head 'no'.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he huffs, shoving your arm back at you while the light turns, "So shut the fuck up."

You both stay silent after the threat, he slows down when he gets into Hawkins, leaning back in his seat and chewing at a hang nail on his thumb. The steady thrum of the music in his car and the liquor in your body take over and before you know it, the liquor wins. Eye drifting closed with every streetlight you pass.

Your eyes open with a start, stomach lurching while you fumble for the door handle in the car. You heave out of the crack in the door, murky hot liquid pouring out of you with each wretch. You take a deep breath through your nose when you're done and rub your eyes. It was still dark out, the lights in Eddie's trailer were on.

You reach for your phone in your purse by your feet, eyes bleary when you click it on to see your lock screen.

4:37 AM

You groan -- you were dragged out of left the club at 2, there's no way it took almost three hours to get home. It was only 45 minutes away.

So he just fucking left me in here?

You get out of the car, slamming the door so hard that you were disappointed it didn't shatter the window. You take off your heels on the stairs to the door of his trailer, feet hitting the wet grass -- it centers you for a moment. The chill in the air hits you and you shiver -- you're dehydrated and tired, but puking knocks your hangover right out of you. Maybe you could get him to just drive you home so you could get some sleep before your shift at 3.

The door is unlocked which is unusual but what you walk into isn't. He's making out with the neck of some girl who lives a few trailers down, her hips grinding against the kitchen counter she's propped up on, his ringed hand gripping her bare tits with her tank top pulled under them. He's changed into a pair of black sweatpants, tattoos dark against his pale chest and arms, his other hand teasing her over her pajama shorts. Her breathy moans ring in your ears and you let out a sigh. Of course.

You put your phone, purse, and heels on the kitchen table -- clearing your throat to get their attention. The girls face snaps to attention, red as a tomato when she sees you there with your arms crossed.

"What the--" Eddie starts when she pushes him away from her, hastily covering her chest and pulling up her tank.

"What the fuck? Who is this?!" she shrills, hopping off the counter and reaching for her white puffer coat on the table.

"I don't fucking know Trista, can you calm the fuck down?" he lies through his teeth like he was born to do it.

"You're such a fucking asshole, Ed," she barks, "See if I come here at 4 in the morning anymore. You fucking dick." Trista slips on her knock off Uggs and wrenches open the trailer door, slamming it behind her. You stifle a giggle as he turns to you, eyes angry.

"Look what you did," he huffs, "Always gotta ruin shit for everybody."

"Are you fucking with me right now?" you ask, eyes wide, "You just left me in the fucking car?! Was I supposed to just walk at 4 in the morning?"

"Your phone works, you could've called an Uber and gone the fuck home," he snaps, grabbing a half empty Fiji water bottle from the fridge, "I told Trista she could come over and now you fucked up her whole night."

"Her whole night, or are you mad you didn't get your dick wet?" you tease, "Looks like you're just pissed you didn't get to hit."

He reaches into his sweatpants pocket, opening his phone up to a text, looking at the screen while he speaks to you, "Why did Rick tell me you gave that guy your number?"

"Again," you start, "And I'll speak slowly, since I know how hard it was for you to graduate high school -- Why. The fuck. Do you care?"

"Because he knows you fuck around with me and my friends," he steps to you like you're his prey, "You don't know him, he might be working for someone else."

You step backwards, used to this kind of waltz, doing anything you can to not get trapped between him and a wall. It always ends badly for the wall. Sometimes it ends badly for you.

"He might be trying to get to me or Rick, or anyone else. And since you're always on Instragram posting where the fuck you're at, it'll be pretty easy for him to find us," he warns. Sometimes every sentence he said to you felt like an insult, but that's how you learned to be just as bad.

"Trying to find you? Who are you?" you laugh, dodging when his hand reaches out to grab you, "You swear you're special. You deal drugs in Indiana. You're barely moving big shit here."

"You love to fucking lie, don't you?" he asks, finally catching you roughly by the jaw, "You love just saying shit. You're always tryin' to piss me off."

"Don't fucking touch me," you hiss, smacking his hand away from you. He catches you again by the wrist and in the light you can see the bruises starting to surface from when he grabbed you in the car. You yelp again when he closes his tattooed fingers around you, re-awakening the pain.

"What did I say in the car? About you putting your hands on me?" he pulls you towards him so you're chest to chest, peering down at you with bloodshot eyes.

You're able to pull out of this grip, shoving past him to get your stuff off the table, clicking your phone on again, "Well he didn't even text me so, I don't know what you're so mad about."

"I know he didn't 'cause Rick and the guys made him delete all your shit from his phone," he says, leaning against the counter.

"Seriously?" you huff, turning back around, heels in hand, "What's fucking wrong with you? You're always doing this shit. I can't fuck around with any of the guys I know, I can't fuck around with guys I meet anywhere else -- you don't want me, so why don't I get to do anything?"

"What was his name?" Ed asks, crossing his arms, "The guy you gave your number to. What was his name? If you can tell me, we'll go find him and I'll let you put your number back in his phone. Fuck it, I'll put your number back in his phone." You click your tongue, crossing your arms with an eye roll, "Fuck off, Ed."

"Exactly," he responds, "You just wanted to act like a slut at the club. Don't even care who it is as long as you're gettin' some attention."

"Okay?" you shrug, "And how're you better? You were about to be balls deep in Trista for what?"

"Cause I wanted to fuck. Are you serious?" he laughs.

"You don't even know her last name."

"Oh I don't? Trista Katradowski? 24 years old in her last year of nursing school? Moved here in 2011 with her mama and little brother Trey? Daddy's in jail in Jacksonville?" he takes a careful step closer to you with every word until he's caging you in against the table, leaning in close enough that you can smell the liquor on his breath, his skin mixed with his cologne, "What is it? You jealous?"

His lips linger over yours for a moment, noses brushing, his bangs graze your eyebrows, "Wouldn't've let her come over if you didn't pass out."

"You shouldn't of just left me in the car," you mumble, avoiding eye contact with him. If you look at him you'll let him fuck you, and you're stronger than that now, "Someone coulda--"

"Coulda what? Broken into the Camaro?" he asks, letting his hand find your waist, "I think everyone over here knows better than to mess around with my stuff, right?"

He waits a moment to continue, voice softening into something gentle. He nuzzles against your cheek, "C'mon, did you really think I'd let someone hurt you? Have I ever?"

"Stop," you whine. It's hard when he starts to talk sweet to you. He's like a magnet. He smiles so pretty, he has such a way of making it feel like you're the only person he's like this with. You duck out under his hold and walk to the bathroom, rinsing your mouth out with whatever mouthwash he had left over in the medicine cabinet.

"C'mon," he whispers softly, lips dragging over your shoulder. He presses his hips against you, pinning you between him and the sink, "Stop acting like you don't want it. Lemme make you feel good." "I'm about to take a shower," you mumble, shaking him off -- like you weren't both just screaming at eachother. He looks at you in the mirror, brows knitting together, his jaw clenches.

"I need to shower, too," he murmurs, kissing your ear, "Don't make me waste all that extra hot water."

"You're not showering with me," your voice raises slightly, trying to ignore how good his lips feel when they ghost over the back of your neck. His hands find the hem of your dress, the stretchy fabric smoothing over your hips while he starts to take it off. "Don't be like that. Not after you made Trista leave. S'not fair," he says. His fingertips trail over the front of your thighs, the outsides of your hips before his big hands smooth over your waist and tummy. He pushes the dress further up over the swell of your breasts, bra tight over them. You let him take your dress off for you, sighing when he does.

The soft glow of the early morning starts to peak through the window, that dark blue to light blue to orange. His lips are pillowy, pressing against your shoulder again while his hands roam your chest over the cup of your bra. He bought it for you.

"C'mon, bend over," he urges again, you can feel how hard he is against your thigh. And fuck, you want to. You want him to make you feel good, he's the only one who knows how -- he made sure of that. You want to but you shouldn't, you don't need to. He's so bad for you. You're bad for each other. It always goes like this. He'll fuck you and treat you sweet after you fight for a few days or weeks, and then he'll forget you exist for however long until he wants it again. Not you. Whatever 'it' is you have with each other. This give and take, push and pull. Never close enough but definitely close enough. It hurts worse every time.

"I'm not doing this with you again," you shove him off and he sighs an angry sigh before pulling off his sweatpants and opening the glass door behind him. You hear the water turn on and groan.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" you ask, "I just told you I was--"

"Don't you got a shower at home?" he asks, "Bye."

"You're fucking annoying," you growl, slamming on the frosted glass.

"You can get in with me, or you can leave," he says, "I don't give a fuck what you do."

You know he really doesn't.

You slip off your bra and underwear, angry at the throbbing between your legs winning over your brain for the millionth time. You open the door, spice scented steam hitting your face and seeing his with a soft smile on it.

"C'mere," he mumbles, pulling you forward against his soapy skin. Why did he have to smell so good? Look so good?

"We're not fucking," you declare, standing in the spray of the water. He nods still covered in lather, finger reaching out to brush over the fingertip shaped bruises on your bicep from when he pulled you over to the car earlier. He tuts to himself, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, baby," he says softly, letting his hand fall back to your waist. Your heart hammers at the word, even more so when he pulls you in close against him. He hums low in his chest when you lean your cheek on his tattooed chest, hand coming up to smooth your hair off your face.

"You only call me that when you want something," you murmur, eyes closing while his fingers trail down your back with the water. You're the only person he calls 'baby' like that, and even then it's far and few between. It's his secret weapon, his silver tongued magic spell -- you get so pliant, so dizzy. So wanted. So claimed.

"You're already givin' me what I want," he says softly, "Look how sweet you get f'me. You get so nice."

His fingers slide between the two of you, you're half expecting him to take care of his hard on but instead he slips his first and second finger between your legs. You sigh into the feeling, reaching for his shoulder. He looks down at you with a merciless grin.

"Such a dirty girl, aren't you?" he teases, voice sliding down from soft to salaicious.

"Yeah," you breathe out, face melting while he keeps a perfect pace on your clit.

He mocklingly matches your expression, voice lilting, "Yeah? That feel good?"

"Yeah, it feels good," you whine back through gritted teeth, already close from how he teases you. Your thighs shake around his wrist when the pleasure starts to build in waves in your lower belly. "You want me to use my tongue? Taste you?" he asks, a little hitch in your breath answers for him. He likes asking you so plainly 'cause that little blush you get drives him insane. He smiles dipping down to your neck, tongue striping up to catch the water dripping down it onto your collar bone, "Yeah? You want me to lick it?"

"Please," you beg, eyes rolling when his other hand slides between your legs from behind, massaging over your entrance. So fucking wet, he mumbles to himself. He takes his hands away, kissing slowly down your front while turning you over. He doesn't have to ask you to bend forward, your body does it on instinct -- pressing your face up against the tile wall, holding onto the inlet soap dish for some support. He bites the back of your thigh when he gets to his knees, hard enough for you to hiss. He groans when you do, taking a wet hand and smacking your ass hard before gripping both cheeks in his hands. You feel him push them apart, thumbs separating your lips with a slick click, tongue laving over your exposed pussy.

"Ohmigod," you gasp, "Oh that's--Oh fuck." "Mmm, yeah?" he moans into you, eyes closing when he pushes himself deeper against you, forehead pressed against your ass. You can hear the flick of his tongue against your folds, gliding through wetness. Your eyes close, legs starting to quake as he creeps further forward.

"Open up, princess," he murmurs against your thigh, "Gonna cum on my tongue, huh?"

You open your legs but he doesn't go to your clit like you expected, he stays slipping over your folds and back down to your opening, wet muscles fighting each other before easing in one finger. You let out a shaky breath as he breaches your walls, hips bouncing back against the digit. You don't see it, but he smirks at how easy it was to get you like this. He tongue ventures further back, letting his other hand spread one of your ass cheeks where he stripes over your tight hole. He grins at the sound you make, he knows how dirty it makes you feel to like when he does that. But you get so wet when he works his tongue there, getting you nice and relaxed while your cunt pulses around his finger.

"You like that?" he asks, teeth grazing the fat there. Your hips pushing back against his mouth answers enough, your hand reaching back to rake against his wet curls. He obliges happily, a second finger slipping between your legs while your moans mix with the thrum of the water hitting the shower floor.

"Turn around," he suggests, guiding your hips so your back is against the wall. He puts a leg over his shoulder to get better access to you, mouth latching to your clit the moment he can reach it. He looks up at you, brown eyes eager for you to come undone -- but he's not looking at you lovingly. He's challenging you, and himself, to see how fast he can get you to do it. You start to shake when his tongue flutters at the same time his fingers curl to press against your g-spot.

"Fuck, fuck, Ed -- m'comingm'comingm'coming --" you moan out, little squeals coming out of you while he eats you through it, taking his fingers out and collecting your cum in his mouth. He stands up quickly, pressing you up against the wall with his body, his big ringed hand reaching down to wrap one of your legs around his waist. Eddie eases in slow, watching your eyes roll back when he presses in to the hilt, holding in there for a moment so you really feel him. He takes a shaky breath when he starts to thrust into you, a barely audible ah shit, so tight coming out from the back of his throat.

He presses his forehead against yours, deep breaths puffing against your closed eyes while he pumps slowly into you, "You like feeling me like this? Nice and slow?"

You nod against him, unable to talk with how deep he's hitting. His hand cups your jaw, guiding you to look up at him. Your noses brush but you know he won't kiss you, he never does, he hasn't in a long time.

His thumb traces over your lower lip, pulling it down and then letting it go. His thrusts pick up when you make eye contact, his eyes are dark, locked on yours. Eddie's hand hoists your thigh up against his hip a little higher, using that leverage to get deeper inside you.

"Oh fuck, you feel so fucking good," he huffs, face dropping to your neck. You cry out when he pulls your skin between his teeth, sucking and biting at you, leaving marks that everyone will see at work later. Everyone will know who left them. He makes them impossible to cover up, "Thought about this pretty pussy all night."

The head waitress, Sandra, will ask why you 'keep seein' that boy', Phil in the kitchen will shake his head at you -- asking why you won't go on a date with his son. 'Atleast he's got a respectable job!'

But if it wasn't for Eddie, the diner would still have broken windows from when it was robbed last year. If it wasn't for Eddie -- the diner would probably would have closed entirely.

"Ed, I'm gonna -- oh, like that -- M'gonna cum," you gasp, gripping his shoulder. He doesn’t speed up, he knows better, he keeps the same solid steady pace — a touch rougher than before.

“Look at me when you cum,” he mutters, “Wanna watch you.”

“Eddie please,” you whine, eyes shining when they meet his. He holds your head in place by your jaw, leering over you while you babble, “OhmyfuckingGod, ohmygod Eddie — Ed, oh —“

“That’s it, say my name,” he grunts, breaking into a smile, "Gettin' me close, talkin' like that." He feels you pulse and gush hard around him, thumb getting back to your lips where you take it into your mouth obediently -- leaving him to chase his own orgasm. Every whimper out of your mouth makes his cock twitch 'cause he knows he's got you feeling good. Every clench around him is another orgasm won -- he wanted to wear you out, watch you need to hold on to him to get out of the shower. Make you immediately text your friends about how you let him fuck you again but it was 'sooo good' so it's fine.

White heat hits his belly and he pulls out, pumping himself a few times before spurts of cum paint your tummy and thighs.

"Shit, shit -- fuck, baby, that -- shiiit that's so good," he breathes out. He leans against the wall opposite down while he comes down, reaching for his shampoo, continuing to shower like he didn't just blow your mind.

You shake a little while you open the shower door to get a fresh wash cloth from under the sink, sighing when the hot water hits you again. You lather up with his soap, you'll smell like him all day now -- it's like he plans it. Like he does it on purpose.

You don't speak for the rest of the shower, just in bodies. You both stood there in the water for a little after you were both done washing your hair. Hands traveling, lips gliding, but never against eachother's. You know better than to ask if you can just sleep here.

He grabs you a towel and watches you dry off, remnants of him scattered on your skin in shades of lilac and magenta, faded yellows and taupes. You wince when you run your fingers over the hickeys he left you, examining them in the mirror. He leaves you to get dressed alone, walking into his room to tug on a pair of jeans, slipping on an old t-shirt and a black hoodie to slip his leather jacket over.

You both appear in the hallway at the same time, back in your dress from the club with your heels in your hand.

"Don't wear those heels out anymore," he says, eyes lingering on the stilletto point of the heel.

"You bought them for me," you say, looking at the ground.

"Okay, and?" he responds, grabbing his keys when you both walk into the kitchen. You grab your purse and your phone, seeing a couple of notifications but he puts his hand to your cheek before you can read them.

"Hey," he says, "Look'it me."

You look up at him, tucking your bottom lip between your teeth while he speaks.

"You gonna wear them out again?" he asks softly.

"No," you respond, still spacey from your orgasms, "I can throw them out."

"Don't do that, baby," he laughs, pressing a kiss to your cheek near your ear, "They can be just for me."

Everything always is anyway.

He yawns at a red light on the ride back to your apartment, driving much slower and level headed now. The sun was starting to rise over Hawkins, pink and soft -- cotton candy skies after a bitter pill night. You ached between your legs, your wrist throbbed, but your heart was swollen with the sound of him saying 'Baby, baby, baby,' over and over again.

"You want a coffee?" he asks softly, pulling into a drive thru.

"Uh, yeah, sure," you answer.

"Whad'dyou want?"

"Just a small hot coffee with milk," you mumble.

"You gotta speak up," he says, tapping his head back on the head rest while he rolls up to the speaker.

"Just a small hot coffee with milk and sugar," you say a little louder. He leans forward to order, getting himself a black coffee. He pulls around and his free hand finds your thigh while you wait. The touch makes you hold your breath, he squeezes and then soothes, the rings feeling colder from the lack of heat in the car. He passes you your coffee and then puts his in the cup holder.

"Just Venmo me three bucks," he says, pulling out from the window and back onto the road.

"Pfft," you huff. Three fucking dollars? You reach into your purse and take out a folded up five and put it on the center console.

"Keep the change," you spit out.

"You wanna get out and walk?" he asks, shoulders tensing.

"You couldn't cover a three dollar coffee?" you ask back, eyes narrowing. His head turns to you, knowing the streets so well he barely has to look at them.

"Thought I was broke? Isn't that what you said?" he smirks when your jaw clenches. He grabs the fiver and tucks it into his pocket, turning up the stereo -- part way through Metallica's 'For Whom The Bell Tolls'. You put your phone in the cup holder while you drink your coffee, a fatigue headache building behind your eyes with every tree you pass.

"Tired?" he asks. You just nod, forehead pressing against the cool window.

"Me too," he mutters, followed by another big yawn. The Camaro turns down your street, stopping in front of the two-family home you live on the second floor of. A small one bedroom, but by the grace of God you made enough at the diner to pay for it. Your mom still lived in your childhood home on the other side of town with your little brother. A small one family with dirt cheap rent that she still couldn’t afford since your dad died three years ago. Eddie paid your mama’s rent, too.

Your daddy was the manager at the auto shop and your mama cut hair out of your kitchen -- still does. Eddie started working with your dad when he got out of high school and treated him like a son. He’d always talk about how it was great practice for when your brother got older since he was such a handful. Outside of Eddie’s uncle, your parents were some of the few adults to really care for him. They were able to see him for his talents instead of his setbacks. They never even judged him for selling drugs (‘You gotta do what you gotta do,’ they’d say, ‘He was dealt a rough hand, he’s just making the most of what he does best.'). He’d spend a lot of time at your house, come to family game nights when Wayne was at the plant. Your dad would do all the older father and son stuff he couldn’t do with your brother yet. They’d invite his uncle, too.

But when your daddy died of a heart attack, your family didn't really know what to do. Things had always been 'almost comfortable' with finances, some months going better than others. Money went from almost comfortable to 'What're we gonna do?' very quickly. Eddie had taken care of the funeral costs, now at a level with Rick that he was moving bricks out of state. He was bordering on being a main supplier for parts of Michigan and Ohio, every cop on the way paid off with women and pills. Every cop paid off with money and a threat.

Once he was able to get Wayne set up with his own place and Eddie took over the trailer, he started paying for your mom. At first he did it anonymously, he didn't want your mom to feel like he didn't think she could do it on her own -- it's just that she shouldn't have to. Eddie felt like he owed it to your family, especially your little brother, to take care of the people who took care of him. In fact, sometimes it seemed like Eddie was a bigger pillar in your family than you were. In the whole town really. He'd sort of become the Robin Hood of Hawkins in his own way, always showing up for people who needed it more -- whether it was legal or not. Down to helping the owner at the corner store after it got robbed and he was beat up.

The cops never found the guy who did it, but Eddie had. The new cross tattoo on his knuckles three days later was an easy tell. A new cross for every body he'd caught.

Eddie turned the car off when he pulled up in front of the house and you tossed him a look, "You coming up?"

"I'm tired," he repeated, "Lemme come lay with you."

"Ed..." you started, but he was already getting out of the car. He was doing it again, building you up, up, up, just to toss you when he was bored. A pattern he loved to sew, the one you could never break -- because when he picked you it felt so good. He finally fucking chose you. You were important for at least a day, a few hours, thirty minutes. But when he was done...that's what you were trying to avoid. The ache. The wondering what you did wrong. The arguments later. You follow him out and he opens your door with the spare keys he has to your apartment. Sometimes a little terrifying to know you might not always be totally alone.

"You coming?" he asks while you answer a text at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah, one sec," you whisper, waving him off. You hear him open your front door and kick off his combat boots, the slink of his leather jacket coming off and being tossed on your small kitchen table. He walks heavy through the place like he owns it and you wince, hoping it doesn't wake up your downstairs neighbors.

You meet him up there with a scowl, "There's people sleeping downstairs, you know."

He rolls his eyes at you, walking to your bedroom and pulling off his hoodie, curls in a puffed mess when the fabric slide over them. He takes off his torn up Corroded Coffin shirt (though they haven't played a gig in months) and tosses it on your dresser. His jeans follow and you come in while the denim is pooling by his knees. He ignores you, climbing into your bed in his boxers while you close the blinds in your bedroom to block out the creeping morning sun. Your phone buzzes and it reminds you of the time when a text notification pops up. 6:15 AM. You set an alarm for 1 PM, at least you'd have a little time for yourself before your closing shift. You change into a big t-shirt and slide into bed next to Eddie, putting your phone on your makeshift side table face down.

He can't keep his hands off you, it feels like heaven. Nothing compared to this, not the shoes or the phone bill, not when he'd get your mom a new hair dryer or your brother a new gaming console. Not when he'd get you gifts -- because the gifts always came with a price. You always had to work hard for them. The bruises always had to fade first. They always came with your apology.

But when he touches you like this, soft and deliberate -- it's because he wants to. He wants you. You think it makes him feel safe.

"When're you waking up?" he asks, nuzzling into your neck, pulling your hips over his.

"One," you reply. He nods, a soft 'okay' coming out of his mouth when you feel his teeth and tongue graze your jugular.

"Ed," you huff, "I gotta sleep."

"You sure?" he grins, hand coming up to hold your cheek, "I can put you to bed baby, I promise."

You look at him with rounded eyes, pleading for him to just let you rest but you know you'll give in and so does he.

"I'll be quick," he mumbles, face getting closer to yours. Your noses brush, eyes bursting open and fluttering closed again when you feel his soft full lips press against yours. This is how he always wins. Giving you just enough to skate by, but taking all you have to give him.

His tongue takes no time to push past your lips, kissing you deep and slow while he climbs on top of you. If you didn't know him, you'd swear he was in love by the way he carefully presses your thighs up against your chest, the way his fingers wrap in your hair, the grunt he lets out when he pushes into you. Quiet and confident, he slams into you, covering your mouth as to not wake the neighbors. And it did put you to bed -- you were both completely worn out when he was done, so much so that he didn't move out of your sleepy hold over his chest.

He heard you click off your alarm when you woke up, going back to sleep when you started the shower. Eleven minutes later it went off again and the fuse in his chest was lit. He lifted his head up with half asleep eyes, brows furrowed and angry. Why didn't you know how to turn off a fucking alarm?

"Fucking Christ," he mumbles, flipping your phone over and hitting 'stop' instead of 'snooze', his eyes linger on your home screen for a moment. He puts the phone down and crawls out of bed, the shower in the bathroom coming to a stop. He gets dressed again: jeans, t-shirt, hoodie, socks. He checks his own phone, still hanging out in his pants pocket. Three of the girls he met last night left multiple texts earlier this morning. He couldn't remember their names if he tried. Jess and Shauna sent 'thank yous' for the tips, telling him that two of the new girls want to meet him so they can buy -- followed by multiple snowflake emojis. A missed call from Rick, but no follow up message which meant the call wasn't important.

You pad into the room, hair wet and back in your pajamas, while he scrolls through his notifications.

"I gotta go," he says, not looking at you, "Heading to Rick's for something."

"Okay," you nod, pulling your dress and apron out for the diner -- they liked the old school style there. The owner never really got out of the 60s. He steps out and pulls on his jacket in the kitchen, following him to pass him his watch. He puts it back on without saying thank you.

You reach out to hug him goodbye and he placates you with a one armed squeeze, texting someone back when he does. When you lean in to kiss him goodbye, he leans back -- looking at you quizically.

"Hey, no," he says, shaking his head with a little laugh, "C'mon, you knew what this was."

"Oh," you whisper, heart shattering, the familiar sting of his rejection sweeping over you in icy waves, "Yeah, sorry."

"I'll talk to you later," he says, shimmying out of your hug. You hear him leave, the Camaro revving loud before he pulled onto the street, the hum of his music muffled from behind the windows. You swallow the tears building in your chest and nose. How could you have been so stupid? Of course it didn't mean anything.

Eddie pulls into a McDonald's drive-thru to get lunch, cigarette held loosely between his lips while he lights it. He rubs his eyes in the parking lot, the icy white of the sky was blinding. He leans back in his seat, scrolling through his recent calls to call Gareth.

"You better be fucking awake, man," he mutters to himself.

"'Sup," Gareth's voice flows through the speakers of the Camaro, "You good?"

"Where's your roommate been the last couple weeks? Who's he been hangin' out with?" Eddie asks with edge.

"I don't know, man. His friends? We don't talk," Gare responds, "Why?"

"Find out and get back to me," he says, "Before I gotta find out myself."

"Yeah, that's fine. You sure you're good? You sound pissed."

"I'm not pissed," Eddie says, he was pissed, "Just find out where he's been and who he's talking to."

He hangs up, seeing a message from you -- something along the lines of: sorry for thinking too far into it again, have a good day. He takes a deep breath, igorning your message, and puts his music back on, eating in silence while he watches a show on his phone. He didn't really have to go to Rick's, there was a bigger reason he had to leave your apartment.

He had to find out why the fuck Steve Harrington been texting you since five o'clock this morning.

[bibislutmarvel]

Who Did This To You?

Summary: You'd grown up with the Princes of Asgard. They were your friends. And sure, things weren't always as sweet as pie with the God of Mischief, but you could trust him.

I'm a slut for (vaguely) enemies to lovers and the "Who did this to you?" trope, but really, who isn't?

Of course, that means someone did something bad, so here's your warning for attempted sexual assault.

18+ only, MDNI.

Word count: 5128

Read on Ao3 // Part Two

The slap of your feet on the cool stone echoed around the palace walls, the familiarity of your surroundings lost as the fear distorted the maze in front of you. Their yells seemed to follow you even as the distance between you grew, your ragged breaths doing nothing to drown out their voices. You skidded around the corner, lifting the skirt of your dress as you ran up the stairs, up and up until at last you recognised the floor you were on. The rational part of your brain hadn’t caught up yet, you were moving purely on instinct as the tears spilled down your cheeks.

Finally, the dim light of the palace grew brighter, and you had to swallow down the bile in your throat as the guards turned to you, eyebrows drawn together as they took in your dishevelled appearance. Your lungs burned for air, your legs struggling to keep up with the fear driving you on. One of the guards reached out an arm to stop you, but you slipped past his grasp as he called out to you. The thud of boots behind you as they followed sent another wave of nausea through you, and you stumbled, your hands grazing the stone beneath you as they broke your fall.

The door ahead of you creaked open, and you lifted your head to meet the gaze of your prince. 

—----

The trickle of blood was warm down your leg as you blinked back tears, trying your best to ignore the stinging of your knees as you pushed yourself to your feet. You rounded quickly on Loki, your palm connecting with his cheek with a satisfying CRACK. 

He stumbled back, cradling his face in shock. “How dare you! I am your prince-”

“I don’t care if you’re a prince! You’re an arse, is what you are!”

Thor’s chuckle echoed from behind you and you spun around to him, embarrassment heating your face. The golden prince raised a brow at you. “You may be right, Y/N, but you probably shouldn’t say it quite so loudly.”

You bit your lip, looking up at the palace that sparkled in the sunlight. You flicked your eyes back down at Thor. “He pushed me.” You couldn’t help the petulance that laced your words.

Thor frowned at the boy behind you. “Brother, you shouldn’t hurt a Lady.”

You heard Loki’s snort. “Look at her, she certainly doesn’t look like one.”

It was your turn to frown, and you turned to him as you fumbled with the knot you had tied your skirts in around your thighs. “Well I couldn’t exactly race you if I was tripping over my dress, now could I?”

Loki sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. “You still lost.”

“Because you cheated!”

“Sshh!” Thor’s hushing stopped you mid-march towards Loki, and it was then that you heard the quiet chatter of your mother and the Queen. 

You dipped into a low curtsey as the pair appeared along the path, arms linked together in friendship. “Your Majesty.”

“Lady Y/N.” Queen Frigga greeted with a smile, “We thought we might find you all out here.”

Your mother pulled away from the Queen, extending her hand to you. “Come, let us leave Her Majesty to talk to her sons.”

You took her hand with a well-practised smile, curtseying to the royals in turn. “Your Majesty, Your Royal Highness, Your Royal Highness.” Thor and Loki struggled to contain their amusement at your manners; having grown up together you only ever bothered to refer to them by their proper titles in the presence of others. 

You walked away arm in arm with your mother, barely listening as she chatted enthusiastically about your closeness with the princes. Instead, your mind wandered to what bribes you could offer Thor to fill Loki’s bed with raw fish.

—--

You panted beneath Archer’s touch, his hands firm on your waist as he nipped at your throat. Your eyes flew open as you bit your lip to hide your smile in the moonlight. It was Archer, wasn’t it? Or was it Hunter? You swallowed your giggle as you considered the absurdity of your own forgetfulness, your distracted mind not noticing the glimmer of magic at the corner of your vision. 

The boy pulled away, searching for your lips, but you planted your hands on his chest, batting your eyelashes at him. “I should get back before they notice I’m gone.” You murmured, smiling at his protests. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

You pushed off the tree and out of his grasp before he could say another word, making your way back onto the path and up towards the palace. You managed to avoid anyone of importance, slipping into your chambers unnoticed.

You sighed as you took in Loki’s nonchalant expression as he reclined back on your couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table before him as he lifted a goblet to his lips. “It’s quite improper to let yourself into a Lady’s rooms, you know.”

The God of Mischief smiled wickedly at you, eyeing you up as you made your way over to the mirror, inspecting your reflection for any signs of dishevelment. “And you know how much I love all things improper.”

You rolled your eyes, choosing to ignore him. “Is Thor still walking me down to dinner?”

“Of course, who else would escort the birthday girl?” Loki sat up, resting his elbows on his knees as he watched you smooth out your dress. “Lady Y/N, finally of age… All of the Lords will be scrambling to court you.”

You snorted, turning to him with a smirk. “Let them. You know I’m not-”

“I wonder what they’ll say when they find out you’ve been whoring yourself out to a servant,” Loki said frankly, watching you over the rim of his goblet as he took a sip. You opened and closed your mouth in shock, before his visage shimmered and faded. A warm body pressed against your back as an arm wrapped around your waist, his other hand tucking your hair behind your ear as you stood frozen. Loki’s breath tickled your neck as he whispered in your ear, “You really should be more careful, darling, anyone could have happened upon your little meeting in the woods.”

You silently scolded your body for the reaction to his touch, a shiver creeping up your spine. He was teasing you, mocking you, enjoying the proximity of your bodies contrasting your mutual dislike for each other. You pulled away with a frown. He let you go, watching as you picked up his discarded goblet and downed the contents. You winced at the burn in your throat, coughing. “You’re such an arse.”

Loki smirked at your words, pulling a flask from his pocket as he made his way over to you. He poured the amber liquid into the goblet in your hand as you jabbed a finger into his chest. “Don’t you dare say a word to anyone.”

“Would I really do that?” He raised an eyebrow at you and reached for the goblet. You pulled it away from him with a pout.

“Promise me, Loki.”

“You have my word, darling,” He smiled, tracing his thumb over your cheek. You frowned once again at his mocking and stepped back, but he caught the hand that was wrapped around the goblet. “I think you’d better give that back.”

“Why?”

“It’s not meant for your delicate mortal body.”

“I’m not delicate-” Your childish rebuke cut off as all the blood seemed to rush to your head at once, and you swayed on the spot. Loki took the goblet from you, nudging you back onto the couch. 

The prince hummed as he considered you, “I probably should have stopped you before you finished the glass.” He sat down next to you with a sigh and you bounced slightly. “Oh well.”

You closed your eyes as the dizziness began to subside, reaching out a thump and meeting Loki’s arm with a satisfying thud. “Don’t pretend you’re sorry.” You could practically hear his smug grin.

A knock sounded at the door and you opened your eyes. “Come in.”

Thor strode into the room, bowing absurdly low before you. “Happy Birthday, Y/N.”

You giggled, standing up and offering your hand to him to kiss. He did so with a wink, pulling you to tuck your hand in the crook of his arm. “How are you this evening?”

“I’m well, thank you.”

“My brother hasn’t been pestering you, has he?” 

You ignored Loki’s snort of indignation. “No more than usual.”

—--

Your mother fussed with your hair as you stood outside of the banquet hall, rowdy cheers echoing down the hallway from the feast. You batted her hands away. “It’s fine, mother. Let us go in, I’m dying to say hello to the Princes.”

“They only become more handsome with each new victory under their belt, don’t they?” She smiled as if she knew what you were thinking.

“Oh, do leave it be, mother.” You rolled your eyes.

“You’re not getting any younger, dear. You could do much worse than a Prince of Asgard.” She looked at you pointedly and you huffed, pulling her into the hall. 

You curtseyed to the King and Queen, and left your mother with Frigga. You made your way down the hall, nodding to those that greeted you, until a familiar booming voice called your name. Thor waved you over, motioning away one of the lords to make room next to him and you curtseyed to him before sitting down. He pulled you under his arm in a hug and you laughed, thanking him as he poured you a glass of wine.

“How have you been, Lady Y/N?”

You took a sip of your wine, glancing at Loki as he sat opposite you, immersed in conversation. You were thankful to avoid his sneer at yours and Thor’s affections. “I’m well! I’m afraid I have nothing new to tell you,” you smiled at the golden prince, “I can imagine that you have plenty of stories to tell me, though.”

Thor needed no more encouragement than that, and launched into a battle story that was sure to become legend as you waved over a server to refill the jugs of wine. 

You lost track of time as you listened to his stories, laughing with your friends. Loki joined in occasionally, barely sparing you a glance. You hated to admit that his lack of acknowledgement stung; it wasn’t as if you were best friends, but you had always thought you shared a unique understanding of each other, having spent most of your childhood together.

You flicked your gaze to the guards, who were trying their best to act as if they couldn’t hear the sounds of destruction coming from the prince’s chamber. You offered them a polite smile, asking them if they might give you some space.

When you entered Loki’s rooms, they looked as if they had been ransacked. Chairs were overturned, a vase of fresh flowers lay shattered on the ground, and a seething prince paced the length of the room. The various stacks of books lay untouched, you noticed, and you tried not to smile. Even when he was angry, Loki couldn’t bring himself to destroy anything of importance.

You picked up a chair, setting it down properly and taking a seat. You waited for him to speak.

“Their favouritism knows no bounds.” Loki hissed, mostly to himself.

You grimaced; of course it was this again. “What happened?”

“They’re throwing a feast! In his honour!” He spun towards you, lifting his arms in exasperation. “They didn’t even mutter a ‘thank you’ in my direction!” He laughed dryly. “He couldn’t even remember the ambassador’s name, the oaf. I had to step in and charm my way out of war. And then he somehow befriends them, turns the whole trip around, and I’m long forgotten, once again!”

“You shouldn’t call your brother an oaf.”

“Of course you’d take his side.” Loki sneered, stepping towards you.

“I’m not. I just don’t see the point in resenting him when it’s your Father that has angered you.” You didn’t break his gaze. Most would cower under the angry gaze of the god, but he didn’t scare you. You still remembered him pre-puberty. There was nothing scary about a spoiled little boy. 

You looked around the room at the destruction. “You should clean this up before anyone sees.”

The god leaned over you, placing his hands on the arms of the chair and caging you in. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

You looked at him unwaveringly, and he held your gaze with fire in his eyes, until it eventually died down. He sighed, pulling away and waving his hand. The room righted itself, and you hid your self-satisfied smirk. Instead, you stood, making your way over to him and resting your hand on his arm.

“It’s not fair, Loki, I never said it was. But you can’t give them a reason to scold you. Continue being the best you can be, and eventually they’ll have to notice.”

Loki offered you a small smile. “I preferred it when you were annoying.”

Soon, the hall began to empty, and your mother took up an empty seat next to you as Loki excused himself. You watched him go, dropping your gaze to your mother. 

She wasted no time in getting to the point. “Her Majesty says that she is keen to get her sons courting, to take them away from their laddish behaviour.”

You had to stop yourself from groaning. “They’re not as laddish as you think,” you said, ignoring her obvious point.

She looked at you, unamused. “Y/N, you can’t refuse to court forever-”

“I think I shall follow Prince Loki’s sense and retire for the night, I am rather tired.” You interrupted her, standing up and kissing her on the cheek. “Goodnight, mother.”

You strode from the room before she could stop you, leaning against the wall outside to take off your heels and give your aching feet a rest. It was late enough that you were unlikely to be seen carrying your shoes, and you padded contentedly down the corridor, thinking of your bed and a glass of warm milk.

Taking a detour, you hoped to bump into a servant to request the comforting drink. You took your time, but didn’t see anyone, and so decided to head down a floor in search of assistance. The sound of laughter greeted you as you descended and you hurried towards the sound, eager to get back to your room.

Two guards stood to attention when they saw you, stifling their smiles as they nodded. “Can we help you, M’Lady?” One asked.

You smiled at them and opened your mouth to speak, but the second guard interrupted you. “Or maybe you can help us.” He smirked, nudging the other one. They shared a look before turning to you. 

You frowned in confusion as they stepped towards you, but you barely had time to process the predatory look in their eyes before they grabbed you, pulling you into a darkened alcove. One pulled you back against him, his hand over your mouth to muffle your screams as he used his other arm to pin your arms to your sides. You dropped your shoes as you struggled against him, squeezing your legs together as the other one lifted your skirt, his rough hands dragging against your thighs. Your heart thumped loudly in your chest as fear and disbelief coiled painfully in your stomach.

He pulled a dagger from its sheath, trailing the cold blade against the exposed skin on your chest, and you yelped against the hand on your mouth as he pressed it into your flesh, drawing blood. He collected it on the tip and brought it to his mouth, licking it off.

They both panted in excitement and the one in front of you chuckled quietly. “I’ve always wanted to fuck a real lady.” He shoved his leg between yours, pressing the dagger against your thigh. “Wonder if your cunt feels any better than the whore’s down the inn.”

You squeezed your eyes shut against his hungry gaze, tears cascading down your cheeks. This couldn’t be happening, it had to be some kind of awful dream. How had your wonderful night turned so awful so quickly? You were about to be raped, helpless against two armed men.

“Erik? Gunnar?” A voice called out, and the two men froze. Your eyes flew open and you watched as the guard in front of you slid the dagger back in its sheath, your skirt falling back down as he stepped out of the alcove. 

The other guard held you tight, but your heart filled with hope and desperation. Surely you could take on one guard? You certainly couldn’t give up on what might be your only chance.

Slowly, you reached out your foot, searching for your shoes. When you found one, you slid it on, stamping on the guard's foot as hard as you could. It didn’t do as much as you’d wanted with him wearing boots, but it was enough that you could duck down out of his grasp. He latched onto your dress before you could make it more than a few feet away, and you spun around, digging your nails into any skin you could find, scratching until you drew blood. He swore loudly as his grip loosened.

You fled as fast as you could. The slap of your feet on the cool stone echoed around the palace walls, the familiarity of your surroundings lost as the fear distorted the maze in front of you. Their yells seemed to follow you even as the distance between you grew, your ragged breaths doing nothing to drown out their voices. You skidded around the corner, lifting the skirt of your dress as you ran up the stairs, up and up until at last you recognised the floor you were on. The rational part of your brain hadn’t caught up yet, you were moving purely on instinct as the tears spilled down your cheeks.

Finally, the dim light of the palace grew brighter, and you had to swallow down the bile in your throat as two guards turned to you, eyebrows drawn together as they took in your dishevelled appearance. Your lungs burned for air, your legs struggling to keep up with the fear driving you on. One of the guards reached out an arm to stop you, but you slipped past his grasp as he called out to you. The thud of boots behind you as they followed sent another wave of nausea through you, and you stumbled, your hands grazing the stone beneath you as they broke your fall.

The door ahead of you creaked open, and you lifted your head to meet the gaze of your prince. Loki took in the fear in your eyes, your tear-stained face, the bleeding cut on your chest, all in an instant. He moved quickly, silently helping you to stand before picking you up into his arms before your legs could give way. He cradled you to him as he moved you through his rooms and part of you wanted to lean into his warmth, the strangely comforting scent of him, but you couldn’t get the thought of the two guards out of your head. 

He sat you on the edge of his bed and reached for your shaking hand. You let him take it, your sobs turning into shallow hiccups as you watch his thumb trace calming circles on your skin. As you calmed, you finally met his gaze, watching the storm behind his eyes.

He stood and you watched him through bleary eyes, waiting for him to laugh and make you leave. Your mind was racing, your heart hammering with adrenaline, and all you wanted to do was crawl into a corner and screw your eyes shut against the pain in your head. 

Instead of laughing, Loki went to the bathroom, the sound of running water filling the room. When he returned, he pulled a chair over and sat opposite you.

“Who did this to you?” The words were quiet, but firm. 

You couldn’t stop the sobs that wracked your body at his words, the terrible gasps you made for air as tears began to stream once again. You couldn’t see the pain on his face as he watched you shake, yearning to reach out and comfort you.

The images replayed in your head, and you cried harder as you realised that he was watching them too, searching your mind for the answers he wanted. You could feel his boiling rage before he closed the connection. 

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” His words were cold, and some part of you knew that he was protecting you from his true emotions, but you couldn’t help the painful pang in your chest at the thought that his anger might be directed at you. You swallowed the sob in your throat to let him continue. “You will go and have a bath, and stay as long as you need. I will have a maid fetch your things and bring them to you. You will sleep here tonight, under my protection. Understood?”

You’d never taken orders from him, and normally you’d laugh at him for even trying to boss you around. But you ached to feel the warm envelopment of the water, and you knew there was nowhere safer to be.

You bit your lip and nodded, standing on shaky legs. Loki reached out a hand to steady you, but you flinched at his touch. He withdrew it immediately, watching you silently as you half-stumbled to the bathroom and closed the door. 

You stripped as quickly as you could with your shaking hands, determined not to let yourself break until you were in the bath. The water was too hot, but you welcomed the burn as you sunk in, the tears streaming silently down your face.

You held yourself tightly, as if you could stop yourself from falling apart completely. When you noticed the blood caked under your nails, you had to swallow the bile in your throat, hiding your hands beneath the bubbles as you scrubbed them.

A quiet knock sounded at the door and you struggled to find your voice to call them in as you crossed your arms over your chest. You averted your eyes as the maid placed down your things, collecting your dress. She stopped at the door and you looked up at her.

She bit her lip nervously and gestured to the dress. “His Royal Highness says to get rid of this, M’Lady.”

You swallowed hard and looked away. “Burn it.”

—----

Despite your protests, Loki insisted on you sleeping in his bed, and you watched as he settled himself on the couch. You fell asleep quickly, the lack of adrenaline leaving you both mentally and physically exhausted. It didn’t last as long as you’d hoped, and you woke up as the birds started singing, the sky still dark. 

The tears leaked silently onto the pillow, and you found yourself afraid of your own thoughts. It’s as if you could still feel the two guards’ hands on you, and you absentmindedly traced your fingers over the cut on your chest. You sniffled, sitting up on the bed and wiping your nose. 

You could make out Loki’s long form in the low light, his feet propped up over the edge of the couch as he slept. You didn’t think as you stood up, your aching legs carrying you gingerly over to him, stopping barely a foot away. You ran your eyes over his form, his dark hair splayed on the pillow, down to his softly parted lips. Your gaze lingered on the exposed skin of his chest as the top of his night shirt splayed open, watching the soft rise and fall of his breaths. 

Why had you run here? Was this really where your subconscious had carried you? Why hadn’t you run to Thor? You bit your lip as you thought. You didn’t want Thor to see you like this. You’d never truly been vulnerable around him. And despite your best efforts, Loki had seen a side to you that most hadn’t, on more than one occasion.

You frowned down at your book as Loki sat down in the armchair opposite you, hoping that he would take the hint and leave you alone.

“I see you’ve already given up on the literature I recommended to you.”

You sighed, sparing him a glance. “I finished it.”

“All three novels?” He quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Yes.” You couldn’t hide your annoyance, trying once again to actually take in the passage in front of you.

“I didn’t know you could read so quickly.”

You knew he was only teasing, but the words stung, the comments from your tutor too fresh in your mind. You swallowed thickly, blinking back tears as you willed yourself not to cry in front of him.

Loki sighed. “I’m only winding you up, Y/N.”

“Well don’t!” You slammed your book shut, standing up with a huff. Loki caught your arm as you stormed past.

“What’s wrong?”

You bit your lip, knowing it was futile to pretend you were fine. Still, you didn’t particularly want to pour your heart out to him.

“My tutor says that we should stop our lessons. That I read too much and it doesn’t do a girl any good to be too smart.”

Loki dropped your arm and you sighed at his expression.

“I’ll be fine, Loki.” Your reassured him. “I’m just being over-dramatic.” You turned away and left the library quickly, sure that you’d embarrassed yourself enough for one day. 

The next morning your mother informed you that Queen Frigga had recommended a new tutor, insisting that ‘young ladies should always be able to explore their potential’.

Despite your differences and your difficulties, you found you did trust Loki. You knew that he would never hurt you. You flicked your gaze back up to his face, your breath catching in your throat as you found him watching you.

“I can’t sleep.” You whispered.

He didn’t say anything, sitting up and gesturing for you to sit beside him. You sat, fiddling with the sleeve of your nightgown. Finally, he spoke.

“What do you need?” His words were soft, quiet.

You thought for a moment, your mind clinging to a ridiculous idea, a childish need for reassurance. You couldn’t bring yourself to say the words, instead looking at him and tapping your forehead with your finger.

He understood instantly, and you felt him searching your thoughts. Part of you expected him to laugh at the notion, but instead he offered you a small smile and reached out a gentle hand, tugging you to him. 

You fell onto his chest, his arm around your shoulders, and your heart beat rapidly in your chest. It should have felt strange, being in Loki’s arms, but you found yourself melting into his warmth. You felt him rest his chin on your head, and realised just how comforting it was to be held by him.

—----

You didn’t realise you had fallen asleep until you woke to sunlight streaming in the windows. You blinked slowly, flicking your gaze to the couch to see it empty. Lifting your head, you found yourself resting on Loki’s chest, enveloped in his embrace. He must have carried you to the bed.

You wanted to be embarrassed, mortified even, but couldn’t find the energy to care as you stretched your muscles, finding yourself content in that moment.

Then, the memories of the night before came flooding back, and you breaths grew quicker. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, and you sat up quickly, gasping for breath as you hyperventilated. You crawled off the bed, sliding onto the floor as you held yourself, trying to catch your breath. 

Loki moved to the edge of the bed silently, and you felt him spread his legs behind you. He pulled you back to him, your back to the edge of the bed as you sat between his legs. He tilted your head up, his fingers kneading at your temples.

“Close your eyes,” he said quietly, and you obeyed, focusing on the feeling of his fingers. Your breathing began to slow, and you tried to untense your shoulders as you allowed him to ground you.

You stayed like that for a while, until you felt relaxed enough to open your eyes. You tilted your head up, looking up at him.

He smiled, a rare smile that wasn’t cruel or mocking, and it fluttered something in your chest.

“You should go and get ready, I’ll have breakfast brought to your chambers.”

You instinctively grabbed his hand in an iron grip. “Come with me,” you whispered, the thought of being alone sending a shock of panic through you. You didn’t want to think about how quickly your dynamic had changed, how much you needed him all of a sudden.

“Of course.” He squeezed your hand, before sliding out from behind you. You watched him change before your eyes, a glimmer of magic, and he was now dressed for the day and looking as if he hadn’t slept on a couch for half the night.

He collected your robe from the back of the chair, offering it to you. You slid it on, thankful for your chambers not being too far, a perk of being the Queen’s favourites. 

The walk seemed slow, your legs tired from the night before, and you kept your eyes down, willing to get there as quickly as possible. As you passed a couple of maids chatting on their way to the Prince’s rooms, you found yourself turning to them, something in their conversation tugging at your brain.

“What did you just say?” You interrupted, not realising you had stopped.

“Oh! Your Royal Highness!” They curtseyed to Loki before turning to you. “M’Lady,” they curtseyed again before sharing an anxious look.

“We were just saying what a shame it was, M’Lady.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, tilting your head. You felt Loki stop behind you.

“About the two guards. They were found this morning, ‘said they drank too much and went for a swim and were found washed up on the river bank.”

Loki must have gestured behind you because the maids dipped into a curtsey and hurried away. Your hands were shaking when you turned back to him. Loki gently tilted your chin up with his fingers, and you found his eyes dark and stormy.

“No one will ever hurt you again, my love.”

// Part Two //

[novamariestark]

Hiiii ☺️☺️

I’ve got an Alden Parker x reader request idea if you’re open to it! Basically the team is working a case where they end up  interviewing an older woman as a witness (older than Parker) who clearly thinks he’s handsome but he politely stays professional (we know Nick would tease him for it). But later he ends up meeting her granddaughter and this time he’s the one that starts flirting with her despite the age gap. 

A Tale Of Two Flirts

Summary: When interviewing witnesses, Alden finds himself in an awkward position when one of them starts flirting with him. But later on, he finds himself flirting with her granddaughter, you.

Warnings: quite possibly the worst thing i've written 😂 and I know I say that a lot.

Word count: 2777

Fandom: NCIS

Pairing: Alden Parker x f!reader

[A/N] I know this is bad, 😂 I’ve literally been working on this for like 2 months and every time I thought I’d finished, I restarted it because I just thought it wasn’t good enough. There isn’t that much flirting in here like the request asked and I hope that’s okay, it’s just that I flirt like a potato.

You may say to yourself, “Nova, potatoes can’t flirt,” Exactly 🤣

And the title is shitty too, I’m so sorry. But right now, I get started and I think I’m on a roll but then my brain’s just like “Haha bitch, just kidding”

Hope you like it though

The wooden steps creaked slightly under their weight. As they approach the door, Alden raised a hand to knock firmly against the wooden door.

Knock knock

The faint hum of a television could be heard from inside but the sound immediately disappeared and the sound of footsteps replaced it.

Alden took out his ID as the door flew open, revealing and older woman, early 70s, with bright blue eyes and slightly greying hair. He holds it up to her and Nick behind him, does the same thing, “Good morning, ma’am, I’m Special Agent Parker and this is…”

The woman smirked and leant on the doorframe, “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,”

A snort from behind him made Alden turn around and glare at the owner of the sound. He turned back to the lady.

"So, you saw the whole thing?" Alden asked, his brow furrowing slightly as he tried to steer the conversation back to the case. The witness he was talking to, a woman in her early 70s with silver hair and piercing blue eyes, seemed more interested in him than in answering his questions. Every so often, he could hear a snicker or a snort from beside him, where his partner Nick Alvarez sat, struggling to maintain a straight face.

“If only I did,” the woman said with a coy smile, her voice low and seductive as she leaned in closer. Alden's face turned a shade of crimson as he stole a quick glance at Nick, silently begging for help, but Nick was too busy trying to stifle his laughter.

"I was referring to the homicide, Mrs. Walsh," Alden explained, his voice maintaining a sense of professionalism even as a blush started to appear on his cheeks. Mrs. Walsh responded with a mischievous wink before replying…

“It’s Ms. Walsh,” she corrected him, her smile widening into a grin.

“Ms. Walsh," Alden corrected himself quickly, "Did you see who did this to Petty Officer Lindsey?” He asked, hoping to keep the conversation on topic. Ms. Walsh leaned back in her chair, her eyes narrowing as she thought.

She shook her head, “By the time I made it to the window, it was all over. I heard a lot of yelling and screaming,”  she replied. Alden and Nick continued to ask her questions and each of her answers included a flirty compliment in some way or another.

Just as the two agents began to walk away, the older woman spoke up again, "You know, dinner might make me feel better. What are you doing later?" she asked, giving Alden a sly smile.

Alden laughed nervously, again looking at Torres for help but he just smiled and walked away, “Probably solving the case, Ms Walsh,” he said politely and excused himself. He walked down the steps of the porch and headed towards Torres.

“Thanks for your help there, Torres,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his tone, “I really appreciate it,” Torres just shrugged with a smirk on his face.

The team headed back to the Navy Yard to continue the investigation. Over the course of the day, Alden had suffered at the hands of Torres’ endless teasing.  He thanked God that he drove over with McGee and not Torres, although his luck ended as soon as they all got into the elevator.

“So, Parker, when’s the special day?” Nick asked with the childish grin on his face, as if he’d just asked what he was getting for Christmas.

Jess and McGee looked at each other, with confused glances. Of course, they didn’t know what was going on, they weren’t there when it happened and Nick kept quiet in the car ride over here, wanting to save it until he was in the same room as Alden, and everyone else was around to hear.

“Wait, what special day?” Tim asked for both him and Jess.

Nick slapped a hand on Alden’s shoulder, his grin getting wider, “Parker’s getting married,”

“What?!” they exclaimed in unison.

“When did this happen?" Jess added, a confused look crossing her face. Two questions went through her head. How on earth did she not know her boss was getting married? And how did Torres keep his mouth shut about it?

Torres was about to speak, but Alden cut him off, “It didn’t,” Alden ran a hand down his face before continuing with the real version events and not Nick’s “There was just a witness that showed a… particular interest in me,”

“She wanted to see all of it” Torres continued, emphasising the word all, to convey that the woman desired to see Alden in his entirety.

“I take it you didn’t help him out?” Tim asked Torres. thinking he probably didn't. Why was he even asking?

Torres shook his head, “Of course not, it was funny,” he looked back to Alden with a smirk and asked, “Can I be best man?”

Alden scoffed, “No,” he said as he turned towards the door as it arrived at their floor.

Unfortunately for Alden, this continues throughout the day. By the end of the day, he felt like someone had been whacking his brain repeatedly with a hammer. He couldn’t wait to solve this case, go home and relax. Preferably before he gave into the urge to get out his gun and shoot Torres with it.

***

You met him on Saturday, when he came over to your grandmother’s to ask her if she recognised the suspect or if she’d seen her around.

You had arrived the day before after work and you were shocked to find the house next door was an active crime scene.

It being a Friday, you were headed to your grandmother's for the weekend. But as you walked from your car towards her house, you noticed her neighbour’s house covered in yellow police tape. “What the hell happened?” you asked yourself, your heart raced as you took in the sight before you. Your eyes widened as you noticed the broken window and the red stains smeared across it that you could only think of being blood. And considering the police tape, it wasn’t that much of a stretch.

The chill of the evening air nipped at your skin as you approached the scene, the flickering streetlamp casting eerie shadows on the ground. You pulled your coat closer to your body, hoping to shield yourself from some of the cold of the night or maybe the sight in front of you.

You couldn’t look at it anymore, so you continued on your way. The first thing you asked was if your grandmother was okay. After she reassured you that she was, you asked what happened.

She started to talk to you about what happened and how her neighbour was murdered and she was telling you everything she knew but somehow, for some reason, she began talking about something completely different.

A man. And it seemed that he had made quite an impression on her. So much so that you actually wanted to erase the last 5 minutes. The last thing you wanted was to hear your grandmother explain to you, in detail, all the things that she wanted to do to this man.

The next morning wasn’t any better. She began by telling you that she had a “lovely dream”, and she “hadn’t had one in so long”. You almost spat out your cereal at what she was hinting at.

“Gross, really?”

“Don’t be such a prude, how do you think I had your mother?”

You shuddered in disgust just as the doorbell rang and you couldn’t get out of your chair fast enough. You rushed over to the door, noticing two figures standing outside through the translucent glass.

As you opened the door, the two figures become clearer. Surprise briefly flashed on the face of the one lurking in the background before a smirk began to form. The one in front was looking down, fiddling with some papers.

“Sorry to bother you Ms Walsh,” he started as he continued, rummaging through the pages, “We just need you to look at some photos see if…” he stopped as he looked up at you, the words dying on his tongue.

Who is she? He thought. He looked to the side of the door at the number. 242, well he had the right house.

“Are you okay?” you asked him, he looked thoroughly confused.

“Yeah, sorry, I wasn’t expecting a beautiful woman to come to the door,” he stammered out, which you thought was cute but then again, was he calling your grandmother unattractive? He seemed to know what you were thinking and quickly corrected himself, “Not that your grandmother isn’t but y-you are,”

Realisation hit you. This was the agent that your grandmother was telling you about. When he turned around presumably for help from his partner, you took that time to check him out to see what the fuss was about.

To say you didn’t enjoy the sight in front of you would have been the biggest lie you told since you told your math teacher that you couldn't do your homework because your pet goldfish had a midlife crisis and decided to swim away with all of your textbooks.

Your eyes quickly returned to their previous position when his head began to turn back towards you.

“She’s just in the kitchen,” you said, lazily gesturing over your shoulder, “Do you want to come in for some coffee?” you asked them with a smile.

Alden opened his mouth to reply but his partner beat him to it, “That would be great, thank you,” he said passing Alden but not without patting him on the back. Alden followed you through the door, gently closing the door behind him and then following you towards the kitchen. As he did, he lingered behind, his eyes tracing over your figure, he was so lost that he almost let out an audible groan but your grandmother caught sight of him.

“Oh, Agent Parker, what a wonderful surprise,” she greeted as she came into the little dining area. Her hand patted her hair to make it look as good as possible.

Alden cleared his throat before responding with a nod, “Uh yeah, we just had some photos for you to look at,”

“I’ll help in any way I can,” she smirked, fiddling with the neckline of her shirt. You groaned, your face hiding itself in your hands.

Alden smiled awkwardly before placing the pictures on the table, spreading them out so each photo could be seen, “Do you recognise any of these people?” he asked, mainly to your grandmother because she was the one who lived here.

Your grandmother leaned in, purposefully close to Alden as she studied the photos. Your discomfort was evident on your face as you looked away momentarily, your eyes landing on the other agent. He seemed to be enjoying his partner’s discomfort and evidently yours.

Your eyes moved back to the photos when your grandmother said that she didn’t recognize anyone. Your eyes skimmed the photos and you did in fact recognize a few people in them, albeit slightly due to the quality of the pictures and the fact that they look like they were taken in the dark.

Your finger tapped the one closest to you first, “This is Jade, Sarah’s former college roommate and best friend,”

Alden scrunched his eyebrows and turned to look at you, “Are you sure? I know the pictures aren’t great,”

You pointed to the handbag that the figure was holding, “That is a Louis Vuitton. Jade got it a couple of months ago and she couldn’t wait to rub it in everyone’s faces,” Your fingers then hovered over the other picture, “This one is strange because it looks like Jade’s ex-boyfriend, Connor from college. They broke up because of her obsession with Sarah’s boyfriend,”

The two agents exchanged glances as if you had just given them a piece of the puzzle but that was ridiculous right? Jade was a stuck-up bitch, but she wouldn’t kill her best friend for a man… would she?

“Thank you,” Alden said, his eyes returning to you for as he began to pick up the photos. You notice how his gaze seemed to always linger on you, a little longer than his partner or your grandmother. She, of course, noticed this too considering she wouldn’t stop undressing him with her eyes.

After he collected everything, him and his partner slowly walked towards the door with you close behind to escort them out. They opened the door but stopped on the porch. Alden seemed to want to say something and it looked as though he was trying to talk himself into it.

“I hope you get who did it,” you smiled softly.

“We will,” the younger agent promised as he began to walk down the steps but stopped when he realised Alden wasn’t following him.

“There’s a uh… pastry shop, not far from here I want to try, do you know if it’s any good?” he asked finally after a couple of minutes of silently arguing with himself. Another argument started about how lame that starter was.

“Sugar & Spice Delights?” you asked with a small smile on your face, you nodded because you actually frequent there, “Uh yeah, it’s a great little shop, ask for Rhea and tell her (y/n) sent you, she may give you the friends and family discount” you said with a smirk.

“Or maybe you could accompany me,” he replied without missing a beat. His eyes closed and his head dropped. Why was he messing this up so bad?

You made a sound as if you were thinking about it and what come to mind was the fact that your grandmother seemed to like him a lot and it seemed wrong to say yes, no matter how much you wanted to, “Oh umm,” you paused looking over your shoulder when you heard footsteps approaching. Your grandmother of course and you were starting to feel bad, especially when she started to look at you disapprovingly.

“If you don’t say yes, I am going to have to disown you,” she said, causing you to lean slightly away from her, your eyebrows moving up towards your hairline.

You turn back to Alden with a small smile that only seemed to get bigger when you uttered the word “yes,”

Alden was beyond happy that you said yes, but also really surprised, especially considering the age gap. Over the course of your next few dates, you kept reassuring him that his age was anything but a concern for you, in fact it was kind of a turn on. In fact, you used the word experienced.

A month into your relationship, he wanted to show you just how experienced he really was. And he really was experienced. He knew exactly where to touch you at the right moment to have your toes curling and reaching for things that weren’t even there.

Pretty soon, after all your date to the little bakery, Alden qualified for the friends & family discount even when you weren’t there, much to the delight of his team. You got to meet them properly three months in which is exactly how long it took for Torres’ teasing to die down.

You were immediately bombarded with questions about you and what was Alden like outside of work, although, they mostly referred to him as Parker. Alden had told you about the teasing that Nick had put him through about you and your grandmother and he even asked if she was still interested in him, so you decided to have a little fun with him.

“Well, she always did have an eye for quality,” you said with a smirk, he was about to reply with some silly remark, but you beat him to it, “You should probably take notes, maybe you could learn something,”

Tim and Jess were in stitches, Alden was stifling his laughter but his amusement was evident by the smirk on his lips.

Once he got over the initial shock of what you just said, he walked over and held his hand out for you to shake, “Well played,” he said as you put your hand in his.  

Pretty much after that, you became one of them. You and Nick actually got on really well and aside from Alden, he was the one you spent most time with and occasionally Victoria when Jimmy and Jess needed some alone time.

But most of your spare time was spent with Alden either on cute little dates, or tangled in the sheets and each other’s limbs or as you called it… Heaven.

[coff-in]

Wait ahhhhh I just read the polycule grave siblings with their child and immm tearing uppp. Why didn't they just explain poly to their kid 😭😭. Can we get a fluffy kind of angst continuation?? I could imagine reader decides to leave or tried for a bit to think about some stuff/get time away and Andrew and Ashley are (yandere if you want) like no you're not leaving us!!! And the child feels bad and cries they don't want their momma to leave!! Any kind of little bit of hurt with fluff!! Youre writing is so big brained I'm in awe ❤️

notes from coff-in: this took a while and it's still not finished. i'd like to continue this later though if possible... there is no fluff with this angst (i forgor it, my bad). still, please enjoy what i have made so far (cliffhanger, 1.3k words)

direct continuation of this, [gender neutral] reader-insert (although referred to as 'momma' by the child), verbal abuse, suicidal thoughts/ideation, incest

[reader] doesn't tell andrew or ashley what happened that night. neither does their child. maybe they knew that they'd get in trouble for yelling at [reader] and speaking to them like that with their parents. if [reader] doesn't mention anything, then they shouldn't either.

andrew and ashley can tell that something is up. it's not unusual for [reader] and their kid to be quite, especially with each other, but they notice how they skirt around each other's presence. their conversation are short, direct, and brief. andrew notices the sudden tension that enters their kid's shoulders whenever [reader] talks to them. ashley can feel the air of change around [reader], how their sibling is more quiet and reserved.

they suppose it's time for a talk.

[reader] gently crawls out of their shared bed one night. they slowly make their way to the bathroom to look at themself... they don't even recognize their face. they're not a graves. not legally at least, only andrew and ashley (along with their child) are legally carrying the graves name. they're not... they're not really a part of the family, are they? they're just a weird insertion, misplaced and forced. their skin, their body, their blood, their words, their thoughts... they don't really belong in that house... in that home. 'just some mistress. some pet andrew and ashley keep around.'

they didn't mean it. they're just a kid. they don't fully understand the situation they're in or the relationship that [reader] has with their parents, their siblings. it still hurt.

'do you think you're all that? do you think you're somehow special?' the voice in [reader]'s head digs down into somewhere deep, stringing together words that weren't meant for them but presenting them as a gift all the same. she's not talking to them, but it feels like she is. 'you're just another hole! and you're not even the only one!'

she wasn't talking to you, but it still hurt. it still hurts.

'the only reason they're with you is because they feel sorry for you!' what type of sibling relies on their siblings this badly? 'DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN HER?!' that's not true, they both asked you to be there with them. 'you're not needed. they have each other. they have their kid. none of them need you.'

the voice changes in [reader]'s head. their mind always knew how to cut deep, to make it personal. and soon their reflection was talking to them. the voice that never leaves.

'you're just another dead body they drag around, another thing to dance around and bury. their lives would be so much easier without you! they would even celebrate your disappearance! just like mom and dad did.'

'how about you jump off the bridge and join them?'

they barely hear the soft knocks against the bathroom door, but they turn their head slightly when they see ashley peek in. [reader] can't look her in the eye even though the reflection of the mirror. her black hair is down and messy, brushing against her face and shoulders like a wedding veil.

"hey hun... are you okay?" her voice is deeper when laced with that sleepy drowsiness, "andrew and i missed you in bed. what's wrong?" the door creaks further and she steps closer towards her sibling, resting a hand gently on their shoulder.

"i... um..." the words they want to say claw at the back of their throat while they try to hold them down. their child hates them, and they're tarring the home andrew and ashley fought for, they're tarring the live they deserved. the truth gets silenced in their mouth, "i couldn't sleep."

"hm? was it a nightmare?"

"yeah..."

"hm. come back to bed, [reader]. we'll help you go back to sleep." 'you're just another hole.'

[reader] shies away from ashley's touch, "n-not yet... i can't really, uh." they can't ruin the nest they've lovingly made with each other, they can't overhear the secrets they whisper to each other. the secrets they're not meant to hear. "i can't sleep just yet."

"tell me what's wrong. there's been something bothering you lately." ashley's hand landed on the bathroom sink. "you know you can tell me or andrew anything, right? we're here for you."

[reader]'s eyes shyly dart their way to ashley's face, "it's... it's really dumb. i mean, well, it's just not that important. just a nightmare. a stupid thought that got too scary and too loud." they manage to force a small smile on their face for ashley, "i'm fine, sis. just need a little time to breathe."

ashley hums dismissively while placing a chaste kiss on their cheek, "well, when you're done taking your breath come back to bed so we can smother you, m'kay?"

"okay ashley."

she gave [reader] one last look before quietly exiting the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her as she left. [reader] stared at the door that lead out of the bathroom, that lead towards the bedroom, and turned back to the mirror. their reflection stared back at them...

they turned off the light and left the bathroom.

...

the next day, andrew and ashley decided to stay at home with [reader] after they dropped off their kid at school. they were both concerned for [reader] after last night. they didn't get nightmare like andrew did, even after everything that happened since the quarantine. this was something new, something recent. it clawed at ashley since that night.

"do you think it had something to do with [kid]?" ashley asked andrew, who was sitting on the couch, watching her pace around. he shrugged his shoulders. "i assumed it does, but if it was really something important i'm sure they would've told us by now. our last date was about a week ago."

"... they used to do this before, remember? when they'd stop talking after making us upset." she turned to look at her brother-husband, a small shocked look on her face. "we had to then cuddle them in your bed and tell them that they did nothing wrong. they'd cry and thank us, and apologize for being a burden... do you think they're doing the same thing now?" he look at ashley with his green eyes. a small sad glint could be seen in them as he frowned. she scoffed and looked away from andrew towards the front door.

"they better fucking not. we left that shit behind us!"

"yeah... we did, didn't we? maybe it still affects them though." andrew sighed and followed ashley's gaze.

...

[reader] handed ashley's child a couple of crumpled bills and some coins while in the car. the child took it and looked up at [reader], confused.

"what's this for?" they asked.

"i won't be able to pick you up from school today," [reader] answered after a slight pause, "that's bus fare money. you could buy yourself something nice, if you want to and just walk home."

"why? why aren't you picking me up from school?" [reader]'s eyes avoided the child's.

"i'll be busy... it doesn't really concern you. just try not to get--"

"it does concern me!" the kid interrupted [reader], taking them aback. "is this about last thursday night? are you running away from me? i'm sorry, momma. i'm sorry that i said that stuff to you!" their eyes began to water and they sniffled, "i didn't... i didn't mean it! i was just mad, i-i was mad because everyone at school s-said that it was weird! i don't want you to leave th-though! i don't want you to leave me..." [reader] took in the child's face: wet eyes, fat tears, snotty nose quickly clogging up. they didn't want to cause a scene and now they're making a mess of this child's morning.

"[kid]--"

the child leaned over the center console of the car and wrapped their arms around [reader] as tightly as possible. they buried their face into [reader]'s jacket, "don't leave... please don't leave, 'm sorry."

----

coff-in

[the-elder-polls]

salem pls pls pls go on the rant about Neverar's death I NEED it

oh how thou enable mine soul. i apologize in advance because i am scatter brained and bad at formulating my thoughts (doesn't help that this topic is so weird) but here we go.

OKAY. so. i'm gonna start with foundations that i'll reference throughout this. starting with seht, specifically, seht's eso dialogue. i will link the uesp page HERE (ref point 1) to keep from having to copy-paste big swaths of text. i'll also link ayem (ref point 2) and vehk's (ref point 3), PLUS ayem (ref point 4) and vehk's (ref point 5) morrowind pages. if anyone wants me to snip the exact dialogue i'm referencing, please just lemme know.

SO. some main principles i want to draw from all of those are:

seht is upset about but accepts his place as a npc. he knows he is a npc, he knows he cannot change this, he just seeks to try to affect what he can. (ref point 1)

vehk knows he is a NPC and wants to be the Prisoner, aka the player character, because the Prisoner can be anyone, whereas he can only be vehk. (ref point 1)

almalexia seems to share the same knowledge as the other two, but denies it in favor of attempting to create her own narrative. (ref point 1, 4, and 5)

next, we'll talk about our beloved lorkahn, freak extraordinaire, god of mortals, spirit of nirn. his uesp page will be ref point 6.

obviously, lorkhan's heart is tied to nerevar's fate. it's tied to SO many fates--the tribunal, the nerevarine, dagoth ur, nerevar, the dwemer, etc which is rather fitting for the god of mortals i think. (i also won't go into my ramble about nerevar's parallels with lorkhan because that's a whole other ordeal)

vehk claims that nerevar and dumac fought and fell from the wounds inflicted upon each other. simultaneously, vehk straight up admits to killing nerevar (ref point 5), then just as easily says no, they didn't, actually (ref point 5) and says that that's just a lie spread by alandro sul. vehk is an infamously unreliable source. he lies as easy as he breathes, if not easier.

the battle of red mountain is an entire fucking thing. i really cannot even try to explain what happened during it because of the conflicting sources (see: the previous paragraph where vehk vehks ominously) but we DO at the very least know that the heart was struck, the dwemer disappeared, and nerevar died. whether or not he died DURING the battle or AFTER isn't entirely clear; again, conflicting sources.

aaaaaaaand then, there's dagoth ur. he loves nerevar, he hates nerevar. nerevar betrayed him, he betrayed nerevar. again. conflicting fucking sources. yet another "entire fucking thing" that i can't really go into detail on because i would derail myself so fast.

whatever happened at the battle of red mountain, at least two things are certain: nerevar died and the dwemer disappeared. we genuinely do not know what happened. is it likely the tribunal killed nerevar? yes, it's incredibly likely. but we do not have a 110% concrete answer of "yes, the tribunal absolutely killed nerevar" because even the tribunal don't seem to genuinely know. i think it's part of what is driving them out of their minds. even they don't know. because, like seht mentions/implies, they are bound to the will of the writers and the writers have not given any concrete answers.

i am personally a fan of the idea that it was a dragon break kind of situation, where all realities are simultaneously true and false, because it just feels the most...right, to me.

i had to significantly trim this because oh my god i rambled so much but. tldr we don't know and probably never will. also please nobody yell at me it's 4 am here and i'm just doing this

[emmaelix]

MHA Boys + Men When You're on Your Period Headcanons

I'm on my period and my boyfriend is on a work trip. And so, I have turned to my magical and animated boyfriends. Slight Spy X Family spoilers, plus some really stupid Naruto references because I think Anime-ception is a thing.

And also I just started watching Spy X Family and holy cow! Why did no one recommend this to me sooner?

Boom Boom Boy: AKA Katsuki Bakugo

Let's get one thing straight. Mitsuki taught this boy well. He knows how everything down there works, and he knows how pads and tampons work. Hell, he even knows about period cups.

He does not, however, know how to use this knowledge in a public setting. His mother, also, did not have bad mood swings during her period. You, on the other hand...

"Damn you! What's wrong with you Loid?!" You yell as you throw the empty wrapper of your favorite candy. Suddenly tears start to flow down your cheeks. "He does care!"

Bakugo is standing there, watching you, trying to figure out what to do. Mina, or mom? Mina, or mom? As he stares at his phone he realizes Mina is probably the better option. "Hello?" Mina answers, surprisingly energetic for the late time.

"Help," is all Bakugo says. Twenty minutes later Mina is knocking on his apartment door, Jirou, Denki, and Kirishima in tow.

"I brought her favorites. Along with these," Mina says, allowing her three companions to step inside. Each held one to two shopping bags.

An hour later and Bakugo has been debriefed. He's as grumpy as you, but at least now he knows why. I mean, what man - actual father or not - lets his wife and daughter be treated like that? Shame on you, Loid Forger.

Mind Control Man: AKA Hitoshi Shinsou

Hitoshi, unlike Bakugo, is not the most well-versed in women. Or people in general, for that matter. He'll be supportive, but he'll be shit at it at first.

Mood swings? He thinks you hate him. Hormonal acne? He offers you a facial. Not wearing white? He tells you you look great in white. Not sitting down? He tells you, "Your feet'll get tired."

He's trying, though. He'll even ask Aizawa for help. I personally headcanon Aizawa keeps period stuff in his desk for the girls.

If you do tell Shinsou you're on your period he's going to be googling until three in the morning. He's going to help you out. He'll even get pads and tampons. By asking Aizawa.

"Here you go, Hitoshi," Aizawa says, handing Shinsou a small box of things. Denki, who was also in the room runs up.

"What was that?" He asks, looking at Shinsou's retreating frame. "I want one!"

Denki now keeps pads and tampons in his dorm room.

If you two stay together and have kids he'll definitely teach them about periods. Male or female, so his kids don't go through what he did when trying to figure out how to help.

Bird Brain: AKA Keigo Takami

Keigo's an adult man, he has female co-workers. He knows how periods work. He also knows how to be a little shit any day of the week, but when he forgets you're on your period and tries to do something annoying, let's just say he sleeps at the office for a while.

Picture the scene. You're watching Naruto in bed, eating a chocolate bar when Hawks comes in. You're on your period, and he would know that if he looked at the red dot on today's date on the calendar. But he doesn't, and that's where his problem arises.

Because you're about to lose what sanity you have left over anime, and Hawks wants to have fun. So as you're diligently watching your computer, cozy on your bed with your favorite blanket, Hawks decides what to do.

"Honey, I have a meeting. You need to come, and since it's Halloween soon it's a costume party. I'm going to dress up as my amazing self."

You knew the bull he was trying to pull. "I'll wear my devil costume," you say, walking over to your closet and pulling out a red and black body con dress, red heels, and horns.

While not comfortable, it was nice to see the bird brain dumbfounded for once as you pulled off your horns before walking into the room, stealing the eyes of all his male (and a few of his female) colleagues.

IcyThot on Thursdays: AKA Shoto Todoroki

Last, but if you say he's the least I'll throw you to Endeavor. Or the Dekusquad/Mina, whoever's closer. :)

This boy has had a very... traumatic life. Suffice it to say periods are not something Endeavor thought Wonder Boy needed to know about.

SHOoOoTOOOOooo

BUT, he has Mina, possibly Jirou, definitely Momo, and their respective boyfriends to turn to. And turn he does, a full 180º.

He's sweet, hot, and portable. The perfect ice/hot pack. There's a reason he's called IcyThot. Whoops, that's hot, isn't it?

Jokes aside, however, he also has his sister, who I'm sure was able to say something to him at some point. Maybe.

Anyway, he's gonna be cuddling you whenever you want. And tracking your cycle.

So that's my headcanons before I run back to my recluse din to work on the next fic. Until next time, my dear simpers, Au Revoir, Arrividerci, and Auf Wiedersehen.

[wastingawayinmyroom]

arabella by arctic monkeys is a bangerrrrrr

here's the dorlene royalty au @percesdead and @dont-fiddle-with-my-riddles were dying for lol

...

She was very bold.

That's the first thing Princess Dorcas Meadowes noticed about the new guard. She was not like the other servants and knights of the castle, doing their duties and keeping their heads down. No, not this knight. This girl, no matter the cost, could not keep her nose out of royal affairs to save her life. She'd meddle and prod and set Dorcas' mother on fire with her antics, so much that Queen Meadowes almost threw her out once.

But, as time passed, she found that the nosy girl proved to be helpful sometimes.

It was right after a "meeting", as she came to call the time she spent with various suitors. Her mother had yelled again, angry at her bad performance, wishing her daughter would show more interest in these men that would bring gifts and promises but no affection. Her mother wasn't a bad woman; just a very stressed woman, since Dorcas was of ripe age to marry and had not even set her sights on anyone specific.

"You need to grow up," her mother had spat, angrily. "Marriage isn't some type of lovely romance. Lovely romances... well, I had one, with your father. And look where it got me."

That last part had hurt, because Dorcas wasn't sure whether her mother was referring to the shame of being associated with a peasant, or the shame of Dorcas herself. So she'd ran to her quarters, secluded herself in the bed chamber, and sobbed her life out, because she knew she wouldn't be doing it in a while.

"Personally," she had heard, a voice coming from the doorway. "I think marriage can be pretty cool."

The girl. The meddler. Whatever she was doing here, and whatever she had heard, seemed to be safe inside her brain along with all the other palace gossip, because she didn't sound like she had the intention of sharing. Dorcas appreciated that.

"My parents," she said, "Were perfectly happy. Like, run-off-into-the-sunset romance kind-of happy. They loved each other. They didn't marry for convenience. They were just..." She shrugged. "Together."

"They were peasants," Dorcas said. "It's a lot easier for peasants."

"What I'm saying," she continued, "Is that you might find someone, someday, that loves you, is loaded, and controls good territory. And even if you don't, I'll tell you a secret." She leaned closer. She wasn't by the door anymore, instead right next to the bed. "Cheating's always an option."

Dorcas jolted back. "You— You crazy, disgusting— I would never, ever, ever do something— I can't even find words!"

"Nice to know I leave you speechless," she said, smirking. "Names's Marlene."

[kidrauhlschik]

4. Tangled Memories - Lee Know AU

Post Traumatic Amnesia (PTA) is a transient state of confusion, disorientation and memory loss that occurs immediately following a traumatic brain injury. PTA is sometimes also referred to as post traumatic confusional state and can occur from the moment of injury until the return of continuous memory.

The accident was a tragedy.

But it was the best tragedy to ever happen to you.

-

-

Final Part - See pt 1, 2, & 3 on the Masterlist linked above

Warnings: angst, f!reader, enemies to lovers, drunk driving, gaslighting, Fighting, yelling, cursing, angst, heartbreak, lies, angst, accidents, not proofread, minho is mean, lmk if I missed anything!!

Words: 2.2k

-

You find the note the next morning and immediately crumple it up and throw it in the trash. Since when has Minho been so sentimental and needy?

You can understand that he's over whatever rivalry he two of you used to have, but you're not. Up until the day before, you thought Minho was good, perfect even, but opening your eyes and remembering all of the awful things he's made you deal with made things so much different.

For starters, you can't believe that you trusted him. He's just as manipulative and sneaky as he's always been. He took advantage of your vulnerable state and made you depend on him. He would have been okay with you dying that day and all of the sudden he's not.

Yet, he also coaxed you down from your panic attacks, he made sure to always available for when you needed him, he stayed with you around the clock when you were injured. Thing is, you wouldn't have gotten injured if it wasn't for him.

The back and forth is overwhelming so instead of pondering on the fact you go to check your phone, which probably made things even worse.

Chris: He told me. Im so sorry. Its all my fault.

Innie: Wanna talk? I heard what happened.

Seungmin: I can't believe you didn't tell us you were remembering stuff.

Hyunjin: I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark. We need to talk.

Lix: Hey wanna come over? I can make us brownies and we can talk things out.

Changbin: Are you okay?

Jisung: Minho is really sorry. I am too. We all are. Can we talk it out?

Chris: Please?

Not wanting to deal with everything right now, you shut your phone off and begin your day. It's time to clean up and enroll in classes again. You should probably catch up with your other friends as well, you'd been very distant because you were always hanging out with Minho. It's best to keep busy and avoid thinking about that snake.

Tragically, as snakes would have it, Minho manages to slither his way inside your thoughts on a regular basis for the next month. As much as you hate it, you couldn't help seeing him in everything. He was in your sheets, in your kitchen, next to you on the couch, in the park, in the flowers, and in the sunset. Everything reminded you of him, every version of him, the bad and the good, and you're not sure which one you prefer.

Classes were to start in a week, through your circumstances, the school was able to let you enroll late to your classes, but you were now a year behind. There's so much to catch up on, yet your brain allows something to distract you from your studies, and that something is always Minho. He hasn't made an effort to make contact with you, which reassures you that whatever he had going on was all made up in his head. Maybe it was all a moment of hysteria.

The hysteria felt awfully real to you though. You can't help but doubt yourself and ask if the sleezy, ignorant, cold Lee Minho actually felt something for you, or if you felt something for him. That's why it's better to keep busy rather than to sit and ponder.

Chris: Wanna come over? It'll just be me and Jisung :)

You had forgiven the guys awfully quickly for your predicament. You could see why they'd put Minho in that situation in a moment of anger, they didn't even know that you were remembering your past, and although you wished they would have stepped up more to impede the shit show that happened with Minho, you can tell that they're sorry. They're your best friends after all, but you were still keeping them at an arms distance for the time being. Except for Hyunjin. He always encouraged you to chase after Minho and you couldn't help but too feel betrayed at that. No one else pushed you into his arms but Hyunjin did, and who knows? Maybe if he hadn't, you could've remained civil with Minho instead of playing house.

When you walk inside of Chan's dorm, the smell of warm pizza welcomes you like a warm hug.

"Hey! How are you?" Jisung asks from the couch beside Chan.

"I'm good, thank you." You offer a small smile in return as you take off your coat to lay it on the nearest clean, flat surface.

The place is a mess, there a cups everywhere, the trash is overflowing, and the entire floor had become a laundry basket. "I don't keep you guys in check for a year and all of the sudden your place becomes a pigs den?" You laugh while sprawling yourself on Chris' couch, throwing your legs over Jisung.

"Hey! It wasn't us, it was -" Jisung gets cut off by Chan discretely pinching his leg under the blanket. The younger winces but remains silent.

"Yeah, Jisung's been a mess lately." Chris smiles apologetically.

"Haha. Yeah, sorry." Jisung adds.

You couldn't help but feel as if they were hiding something, but before you could question them, the front door swings open.

"Jisung. What the hell do you want? I was in the middle of practice." The second Minho spots you, he freezes like he did before. Loss for words, he just stares at you as if he'd seen a ghost. He wants to walk out and get as far away from you as he can, but he also wants to run up to you and hold you in his arms. He wants to apologize over and over again, he wants to beg for your love, but he knows better than to think that you'd accept him.

You immediately hop off the couch, quickly on guard, wishing that he wasn't standing in front of you. Seeing him in your memories was very different than seeing him in real life. He looked thinner, tired, and restless. The Minho you had been seeing for the past year looked happy and healthy. Now he was drowning in his hoodie, his hair was messy, and his expression read exhaustion. You couldn't help the worry that seeped its way into your brain.

"What are you doing here?" You ask.

"I live here." Still staring at you in shock, unfortunately, it seemed that he'd gotten even better at hiding his emotions.

"What about your place?"

"I got kicked out for not maintaining the place while I lived with you."

Was he implying that this was your fault?

"You never had to live with me in the first place." An argument. Something you were both so used to, now caused an ache in both of your chests. Your words catch at the base of your throat, and Minho doesn't even have the energy to argue.

Minho finally takes his eyes off of you, scanning the area, looking at the mess he'd made at his friends dorm. The past month had been hell for him. He kept on beating himself up anytime he had a second alone with his thoughts. The only good thing he had done since he left your place was joining the school's dance team, hoping that doing something he enjoyed could take his mind off of you. He was wrong. Every time he showed up to practice, he remembered that you were the only reason he was doing this, not giving up on his dream. He was undereating and overworking himself to the bone, which was not the healthiest coping mechanism but the other option was to rot away in the couch.

He nods and makes a move to turn away, leaving the dorm again.

"Don't walk away Lee Minho!" He pauses his steps but doesn't turn around.

"You wanted me to leave."

"It's not that easy! I don't know what I want okay? I'm in shambles. I want you to leave, but I want you to come back right after. I want you to cry but it hurts to see you in pain. I trust you but I hate you. Worst of all I love you, but I don't even know what's real anymore." You throw your arms up in desperation, not even realizing that Jisung and Chris had left the area long ago. "I just want to know what's real."

Minho finally turns to look at you with an expression that can best be read as indignation. Or was it desperation?

"You want to know what's real? The real thing is that I want to know every part of you, every scar, every bruise, I want to trace the map of you! All of you and every thing about you. My fingers a compass, and your freckles the constellations that I will chart in my heart. That way, when I close my eyes I'll have you in my stars forever, because guess what? You're already in everything else! You're in the sun, in the air, and in my reflection. I'm drowning in the memory of you and the worst part is that I can't even see you!" Minho walks towards you but you stay frozen in place.

"It's never been the way you looked, it was always the way you were. You were like me, both broken and angry. It wasn't until I saw you behind the walls and I was able to see you bare. I would have fallen in love with you with my eyes closed, but I never could because we never allowed each other the chance. You told me that you didn't want to be the shell of who you are, so why can't you let yourself be happy?" He's face to face with you know, a mere couple of feet apart. He was no longer loud, but more so calm. His plea turning into a confession.

"From the moment I saw you making a fool of yourself in that park, I knew that you were worth the broken heart. Finish breaking my heart, and you'll find yourself inside. I'm sorry, but I'll never find the right words for you. You are my everything, always, and even that is not enough."

"Minho stop." Somewhere in the middle of his speech, your eyes decided to betray you and tears were now freely streaming down your face.

"I'm glad I found you, the real you, because before you, I never knew what to wish for. Want me to be honest?" He laughs and runs his fingers through his hair. "I'm terrified of letting you in. I'm scared to see myself more clearly through your eyes, wondering if I'm good enough. I already lost you, but the truth is that not having you scares me more than all the other truths of love. So please, look at me in the eyes and tell me that I'm not being real right now."

He's mere inches away from you, searching for an answer on your face.

So many thoughts but no clear answer runs through your mind, you're just overwhelmed by his confession, the situation, his mere presence, is not letting you think clearly whatsoever. So you break eye contact and make a bee line for the door. While holding the door knob, you stop and say your last words.

"Sorry Minnie."

Minnie.

The one term of endearment that Minho allows to give him hope.

-

Of course on the first day of class you'd be running late. You hated being late and the stress of studying is weighing heavy on your shoulders. How could the morning be any worse?

Luck is a funny thing though. Just when you think things couldn't get worse, they always do.

You bump into someone that simply continues walking, making you drop all of your notecards and papers on the floor. You immediately bend down to begin collecting everything, but there is so much going on around you. People playing around, others trying to find a seat, and more reuniting with their friends after the summer. So much people, so many noises, this is why you're never late to anything. The stress begins to build even more, to the point where your hands begin to shake, needing to move faster in order for you to find your own seat.

His hand comes out of nowhere. Body shoving away the people that were stepping on your stuff, rushing to pick everything up to help you. He hands everything he collected in a neat pile and you cautiously take it. He then turns to the nearest desk on his left, grabbing two coffees and handing you one.

"Hey, I'm Lee Minho. Looks like we're in the same class. Wanna sit together?"

Starting from where you left off was messy, but maybe starting from the beginning wouldn't be so bad. It will take time, but it might be worth it. If everything was real, it will definitely be worth it and more.

"I'm Y/N. I'm down, but I have to warn you, I can be a bit mean at times."

He laughs and hovers a hand on your lower back to guide you to the two empty seats next to each other.

"I wouldn't change that for the world." He gives you a small smile that could also be a smirk. He had the audacity to be cocky?

Despite that, you can't help the little ray of sunshine that warms you from the inside.

“I hope you mean that Lee Minho.”

“I always mean what I say.”

-

A/N: okay, i am not in love with the ending but honestly if it was up to me, i would've ended it on the last chapter. I'm trying something new w happy endings. Thank you so much for reading!!

TAGLIST: @stanstraykidsskz @weareapackofstrays @linos-kitten @cassidymb121

[softwebss]

Hi! Can you write somethinh with MJ confessing to fem reader? Or gender neutral, don't make difference

accident-prone . michelle jones

♡ synopsis: mj fixes you up after a mishap in gym class, and she accidentally confesses to you // gender neutral reader

♡ warnings: fluff, mentions of bruising, first aid, injury + a bit of swearing, a suggestive reference at the end

♡ a/n: oml anon I'm so sorry for posting this SO late skldwffga :((( I've been really busy w exams and studying for midterms so I didn't find the inspiration or time to even start!!! but I hope you like it <3

"you're such a dumbass," mj smirked, teaching you how to do the math problem you were stuggling in properly. Honestly, you studied barely anything. the complications of the formula were bugging you, and you really didn't want to fail in your midterms. "tell me something I don't know!" you groaned, scribbling the wrong answer and writing the correct one. "WATCH OUT!" mj shouted out of the blue. you looked up from your notebook, puzzled. BANG! The sheer impact of the basketball made your head fizz, and you felt your brain bang against your head. it all went black, and the last thing you heard was a muffled yell from mj. studying in the basketball court was not a good idea. "THE FUCK WAS THAT, BRAD?!" mj was on extreme stress. her crush, the literal love of her life just got smacked in the head with a basketball. great, wasn't it? she just tried warning you, but damnit your slow reaction time just ruined it all. mj had everything she wanted, you and her having some sweet alone time, finishing up some math assignments like usual. she finally mustered the courage up to make a move, because your oblivious self didn't have a clue. or so she thought. mj shoved the door behind her, carrying her bookbag inside the room. there you were, sprawled across the sofa, with a bruised forehead. you dozed peacefully, and she smiled at the way you slept, careless of who or what was around you. the sudden slam of the door made you shuffle a bit. mj froze in her place, afraid of what you might do or say. yeahhhh, she did just technically kidnap you, you could say that. it wasn't that bad. your eyes fluttered open, and the might thing that you spotted was the grey blanket laid onto you. you groaned, rubbing the previously hit area. mj smiled at your cuteness. it was absolutely heart wrenching to her. "what the fuck happened," you groaned. mj plopped the bag on a nearby couch and leant downwards to fetch something from a fridge. "you, my friend, just got hit in the head with a baskeball," she mumbled, clearing the fridge out to find her ice pack.

"I DID WHAT?"

"courtesy of Brad Davis, of course," she added. you smacked yourself in the forehead to emphasis the stupidity you just heard. that made the ringing in your head even worse.

"aha!" she announced, carrying the ice pack towards you. your breath hitched at the sight of her care towards you. mj caressed your head and told you to lean back.

"love, if you keep moving your head I won't be able to fix it up, and there will be a gigantic bruise," mj cooed. you stiffened, crooning your neck toward her. "l-love?" you choked.

"DUMB, DUMB!" she cut off, looking sideways, trying to advert your eyes. "I MEANT DUMB- HAHA-" she nervously laughed, holding the ice pack against you. did she... did she just call you love? the slip of tongue was so absent minded of her. she mentally facepalmed. mj tried to distract you by further examined your injury, trying to soothe the pain. you looked her in the eyes and noticed the beauty of them. how could you not have noticed that before? she looked you and sighed relentlessly. your eyes were closed now, soothed by her touch. the ice pack made the bruise go halfway away. she, on the other hand, thought you were asleep. but you felt her gaze on you, and the sheer care that she showed for you made you just melt. "I love you so goddamn much," you breathed out unconsiously. it was a whisper, but it meant the world to her. when she heard you, she leant down and grabbed your collar.

"WHA-" you exclaimed at the sudden gesture, as she pulled you in and kissed you. it wasn't a big deal, your biggest crush just kissed you, you told yourself.

but honestly? it meant the fucking world. the tenderness of her soft lips against yours, the touch of her skin creeping up on her. an arm snaked around your waist, and you ran a hand through her hair. the feeling of electric shocks ran through you.

a ball of warmness mixed with flurries of anxious butterflies churned in your stomach. "you're so accident-prone" she grinned, pulling away from you, the sensation still electrifying you. and lets just say, that day ended with the both of you on top of each other, doing something you probably weren't supposed to do

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for repeatedly losing my temper at my kinda-friend? I (17F) have anger issues and I'm working on mitigating it, however, losing my temper always involves yelling and insulting people. Usually I think this is bad and apologize profusely when I lose control.

However, this kinda-friend (16F) who I'll call E, has absolutely no respect for other people's personal belongings, space, or time. She always grabs and plays with my things during class, or our mutual friend's items (16F), and as all three of us are artists, we carry around pretty expensive equipment. (Think Micron ink pens, Winsor & Newton paint, Derwent pencils, etc., just as reference. Thankfully no Copics lmao.)

The mutual friend will be referred to as J.

So, E has been told by both of us to stop taking our art supplies and playing with it, to the point where I'll yell sometimes, and she absolutely refuses to listen to us. She'll claim that she's forgotten what we've told her and put down the item just for her to pick it up again five seconds later. The problem is that she sometimes breaks these items or injures us - she'll play with my x-acto blade and cut me, or break J's graphite pencils, or push my watercolor palette off the desk. I've really tried to be patient about it, but it's proving to be difficult.

J is quite soft spoken, so I end up doing most of the reprimanding. E also brings up inappropriate topics that make J and I uncomfortable, as well as disturbing us when we're busy and then sulking when she doesn't get our immediate attention - once I told her three times to let me do my classwork before snapping, and E cried. She never does anything in school and hates all of our teachers, so she's pretty rude to them. All my work gets copied by her. She really annoys me, but I do feel terrible that I seem to lose control so often around E, since no one deserves to be yelled at.

However, this all came to a peak today when R (16M) and I won prizes for winning a mini-game and asking an interesting question during a seminar at school respectively; the gift was a black notebook that I didn't even like, which is an important tidbit to keep in mind. R left his gift still wrapped in his bag when he left the classroom for break time, so it was just J, E, and myself in there. Upon seeing what I had unwrapped, E went to R's bag and opened it - since all four of us are friends, we thought E was just being "jokingly" invasive as usual and were on alert, but didn't stop her.

J asked what she was doing and E said she was grabbing the gift out of R's bag. This caught my attention, so I asked why she was doing that. E told us that she wanted the book, and when J reminded her that the gift was, in fact, not hers, E said (and I wish I was kidding because this is replaying in my head in 4K HD right now like oh my god pls) "I know. It should be mine." Had she asked for my notebook, I would've given it up happily. I've got too many empty sketchbooks and notebooks at home.

I immediately stood up, but allowed J to handle the situation because I didn't trust myself not to react violently. J eventually lost her temper too and that's when I jumped in and started my yelling routine. I always feel bad whenever I do this, because it's not something I enjoy, but in this particular situation I just can't muster up the guilt? E is extremely irritating, but she tells us she has a horrible home life, so I try to be understanding. Except this was just completely intolerable. R even said that he'd predicted this would happen and to just give her the damn notebook - I vetoed that so we wouldn't enable E.

I really don't know if my reaction was overblown because I shouted a lot and said things like "you were given a brain - use it" and "you're a terrible person with no morals". It's ridiculous to say all that because it's (at the end of the day) high school drama, but I really can't understand why she acted that way. I don't know if I'm in the wrong in this situation. I wish she would listen when we tell her nicely not to do something, but even when I was blowing up at her, she was just smiling as if it was a joke. Should I apologize? I've apologized before when I lost my temper, but I have completely lost all will to be civil with her after this. The teachers are tired too - when she disappears from class or talks back, they just let her be. We can't really go to them because she'll feel betrayed and then get mad at us, which is a whole ordeal, because she's known to destroy and sabotage other people's items because of a grudge.

This is really lengthy. I apologize. I just feel terrible about the situation because I don't feel any guilt for my anger like I probably should. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[thecryptidzenith]

I was thinking today about a timeline where Midnight Oil Riz gets back to his mom and somehow ends up in a party with the rest of The Bad Kids in Junior year (ignore the logistics). Thinking about him having to interact with the Rat Grinders is so funny; I feel like he'd see Kipperlilly being mean to Kristen, immediately try to find something to blackmail Kipperlilly with to force her to drop the election, and accidentally uncover Porter's whole plot in approximately four days.

First of all, I'm delighted that my silly little fic lives in your brain enough that you're thinking of alternate timelines, that's incredible. And thanks for sending this to me! I love excuses to procrastinate and excuses to yell about my guy.

So obviously, I'm God, and there's a lot of stuff prior to where this would be on the timeline that would have an impact, but I'm going to keep my cards as close to the chest as possible, however I think the thing that would impact this the most has already happened: which is that Poxson Tiktaalik is a student at Aguefort. On that, Kalina says "I have contacts at Aguefort." and "There’s more than one conspiracy going on at Aguefort," (to which Riz's internal response is 'what a fucked up school,' a sentiment made extremely funny both because he's an Aguefort student in canon and because he'd be an Aguefort student here.) This will be said directly soon, but Riz has met Eugenia, he's passing rogue class. Logistics aren't a problem at all.

But here's the fun part: the second conspiracy Kalina's referring to is Porter's plan to take Ankarna's place in the pantheon. Him and Jace are her contacts who take care of the administrative aspects of Poxson Tiktaalik being a student there. And Riz has already passed freshman and sophomore year with flying colors, and Eugenia knows who he is. The only thing that would need to happen would be changing his name in the system, and that's not technically necessary. Porter knows Kalina, and he knows Kalina wanted Riz in Aguefort's system for some reason. Throw in anything he may have heard about Poxson from Eugenia or any other networks he may be a part of, and suddenly, he looks like an incredibly useful ally with a high likelihood of helping them. If Kalina did, surely her protege would too, right?

Plus, this is a super tumultuous time for Riz. His living situation has changed drastically, his mom is alive, and he only recently found out that his godmother--his closest confidant--kidnapped him as a child and groomed him to be her actor in the physical world. Kid's not doing great as a baseline, and this makes everything so much worse.

How much does he really know or care about the Bad Kids? He's not exactly a team player here, and these kids are directly responsible for his ability or lack thereof to go to college. In canon, Riz doesn't have any resentment for them, but here? That's likely to be a different story. The two people he actually cares about are his mom and Aelwyn, the later of whom is working for Kipperlily Copperkettle.

Would it be so wrong of him to be a little angry? After everything he's been through, would it be unreasonable for him to get a little mad?

This isn't to say he'd join--there's no way he wouldn't despise the Rat Grinders, especially Kipperlily. He'd find them incredibly entitled, petty, and incompetent. Porter and Jace would probably annoy him too, their final goal is just to make Porter a god, and that's not something Riz would find worth it. Maybe his complicated feelings about Cassandra/the Nightmare King have solidified into hatred and he just wants her to hurt when her wife's domain is given to a new god, but that's the strongest motivation I can devise. Compare this to Kalina, who gave him a personal reason to help her in bringing his parents back and a societal reason in using the Nightmare King's power to fix the ugly parts of the world Riz got to know all too well in Gravalvia. Porter and Jace just aren't that good. Sorry to say, but nobody's doing it like Kalina.

And then there's the Kalina of it all. Does he want to help them because it seems like the thing she would have wanted him to do? Or is he spiteful and works tirelessly to destroy them instead? There's no way he isn't curious about what in the hells she was up to with them, but what does he do with that curiosity? Maybe he plays both sides until he knows exactly where he stands. He could pretend to infiltrate the Rat Grinders for the Bad Kids and the Bad Kids for the Rat Grinders. It'd be hard to pull off, but he's Riz 'Poxson' Gukgak. He excels at hard things.