#my brain just sucks at remembering
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Red Velvets’ Peek-A-Boo starts playing:
Normal fans: ‘oh it’s Peek a boo’
Me: ‘oh the pizza man killer’
#literally just happened#because I can never remember the song names#like I know I know it#and I’ve heard them before#my brain just sucks at remembering#like on Sunday at work I was going through my biases from the Thai group tempt#and I could only come up with 3#this was from before they debuted when I had looked up all 6 members and I saw 4 I thought were cute#but I couldn’t remember the 4th one#so I went through all the members and only came up with 5#I knew earth and plan weren’t my biases#mark Perth and gun are 3 of them#then I remembered title and I’m still mad at myself for that#like how could I remember mark perth and gun but not title?#or like red velvet and f(x) I frequently forget members#but I can name the members of super junior (15) and EXO (12) in alphabetical order
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dance of dreams
#THEYRE SPINNIIIING THEYRE TWIIIIIRLING JUST LIKE IM TWIRLIIIING MY HAAAAAIR blink blink blink blink. hi :3#im not taking back the :3 its how i feel dammit. its REAL RAW EMOTION u gotta accept it. en ee wayz#so 7.3 eng drop huh. yea so um. i . so u remember how the initial drop made me go insano mode and i drew 5 pieces in 4 days?#so it wasnt done. the second drop gave me one more to draw. its the THEM chapters its mals rage when hes like 'YOURE AWAKE??'#the TENSION!!! the DRAMA!!!! oh i am SICK my heart SKIPS!!! the two guys with dream powers fighting ougughh made just for me#made in a LAB for miss cartoons!!!!!! made in a lab for ME!!!!! silver's eye is a lil bit open if u look close. mal will find out soon#IM SICK SICK SICK SICK AND TWISTED MY BRAIN IS RATTLING LIKE A JUNKER CAR U BOUGHT AT 16 FOR 400 BUCKS#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#malleus draconia#the overblot fit still sucks to draw but goddammit ill do what i must. also yippee i dont hafta tag spoilers for once FGHJD#suntails
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I think some people forget that peppino can be kind of a jerk. He's not your perfect awkward nervous guy who can do no wrong, he is not perfect, but that doesn't make him a bad guy. He has flaws, because thats a normal human thing to have.
Sometimes he gets angry and a bit mean, sometimes he takes joy in beating the shit out of the tower residents, sometimes he gets selfish or says something mean to someone. His anxiety is not his only flaw, please don't forget that. He is not a perfect sunshine boy who can do no wrong. He is not nice and friendly 100% of the time. He is a human person, he is a complex being who cannot be easily defined as completely good or completely bad.
Sometimes good people do shitty things. Sometimes a person will not act in the kindest way possible. Sometimes someone will do something not realising (or caring) how it makes others feel. Sometimes people have bad days. Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes people are wrong.
Peppino is a human, he is not immune to being a jerk sometimes. Again, this doesn't make him a bad person, it just makes him human, and I don't want people to forget that and misinterpret him as being someone whos only flaw is his anxiety. Yes it is a key part of his character, but theres more to this guy than that, thats not his only flaw or imperfection or whatever you want to call it. He's not 'kind perfect guy who also has anxiety', theres more detail to who he is than that.
Peppino can be a bit mean, Peppino can be hotheaded, and you know what? Thats okay because thats what a person is like sometimes, and that is a sign of a complex and realisticly written character (even if he is a cartoon guy, his personality still feels realistic). He's not the same guy all of the time, he doesnt respond to every situation in the same way, he's not a one note character. Sometimes he sucks as a person, but its okay because despite all that, he's a loveable and endearing character, and he isn't a horrible terrible person, he just is human, and thats okay.
#okay rant over just had to get that out#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#peppino pizza tower#pizza tower peppino#pizza rambles#I'm not implying that having anxiety or other mental illnesses is a flaw or makes you a flawed person I just couldnt think of a better word#so sorry if it comes across that way!#I dont even know if I made any sense and got my point across but hopefully I did#my guy kind of sucks and that okay because I love him#sometimes people get such heavily head canoned interpretations of someone they forget what the actual character is like#and its like yeah nothing wrong with hcs but you got to remind yourself that maybe your version of him isnt the same as he is in canon#your brain can twist a character into your idealised perfect version of them which can stray from the actual guy you started with#and you gotta remind yourself of that sometimes#of course if were talking about au peppinos than ignore all of this but if were talking about just regular guy peppino than please remember#he's a bit of jerk sometimes okay? and we love him for that
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of all the star wars movies, which of them do y'all 1) enjoy the most 2) consider the best quality and 3) think you've rewatched the most. add your answers in the reblogs or replies, i'm genuinely curious how much of an overlap there is within everyone's three answers. mine don't overlap at all! they're revenge of the sith, empire strikes back, and the force awakens :^)
#len speaks#star wars#revenge of the sith#empire strikes back#the force awakens#not tagging more films than that bc i cant b bothered. incoming tag ramble ahead bc i have sw brainrot rn and im making it everyones prob❤️#i rlly struggled 2 remember if id watched tfa or aotc more. i went w/ tfa bc it was formative to me as a teen and ive seen it probably 6ish#times? whereas aotc was the first sw movie i remember (specifically the scene of obiwan serving c*nt in the bar lmao) but i've only seen it#for sure 4.5 and maybe 5.5 times. the .5 is from when i got bored after obi-wan's scene ended and ran off to go play in the mud or smthn 😭#i'm sure tfa will eventually get surpassed in number of rewatches by aotc and rots bc i don't fw the direction of the ST but that's my#current ballpark estimate of my total number of rewatches#as an adult tho if i just wanna watch a star war i'll go with aotc bc it's fun and ends semihappily and i can turn my brain off for the#spinny lightsabers. it's great background noise or for if you're sick or whatever. rots on the other hand? i won't talk through that unless#i'm quoting it with my brother and i am LOCKED IN 100% entirely entranced by it all#i almost picked rogue one for the best quality answer but i think the character writing is weaker and the facial cgi is creepy. esb beats#it by a hair imho bc of that. the vader hallway scene goes hard tho!!!#also i'm not covering shows or games or books or anything else in this post - simply the films. might ask abt shows later but that might#also give me hives bc so many of the shows suck ass and i don't rlly want ppl extolling the virtues of t.bb in my notes 💀#and yes i do think one's enjoyment and one's opinion of quality are two things that often overlap. but sometimes you just like something#bad and that's awesome. like rots is the best of the prequels by a large margin and i adore the opening and characters and many of the#scenes but that doesn't mean it's the best star wars has to offer ykwim? it's my specialest most favoritest sw movie but that doesn't blind#me to the dialogue lmfaooo
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hehe~~ i am soooooo sleepy and tired right now :3 i’m all cuddled up in all my blankets🥰 so warm and comfy hehe…..oh and also my past is haunting me😐
#girl help i tried to go to sleep but remembered the Anger™️#experienced a Situation recently that i have been very bravely and sexily ignoring#and - literally WHO would have known - ignoring it is not making it better lol#so now i lay down all comfy to sleep and my brain is just like: the thing😦#and then i gotta stay AWAKE😒 so i can distract myself from the thing#until im tired enough to sleep BEFORE my brain remembers the thing#smh#it sucks#also im good mostly!#it’s just hitting me worse rn because my period always puts my emotions out of whack😪#but im getting proper sleep and everything#and hope to take action to lessen the impact of the thing soon it just takes time ya know#like sometimes things ARE going to hurt you and bother you for a while#and that’s just how it is#but life will move on eventually and good things will come to steal some of the space those bad things take up#just gotta be patient😪#sorry for my nonsense rambles again#i just found it really funny#because tonight i really was legitimately more annoyed by the disruption to my sleep than i was about the life changing situation lol#sleep is my number one priority at any given moment fr#to be fair though i WAS so comfy and tired from cramps and really looking forward to sleep#so i think i was justified😤😤
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2nd post of the day.... 😎😎
Hahhs. can you tell. can youvtell what my latest obsession is. theres more but theyre Ugly. so are these but.they can be tolerable..... (oldest to. Newest i think? idk.you can see the visible art style change)
dont ask how in coping with the latets ii episode (my reactin when watching the episodr btw. theres more but i cant add more than 10 photos💔)
#osc art#osc community#osc#bfdi#bfdi gijinka#ii#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity gijinka#gijinka#hfjone moldy#i love moldy. is it bad that i can relate to her.? i dont Act like that but erm. majority of ny brain does💔#i rlly wanna do worse on moldys disease. butmy art kinda sucks... so i dont#something funny i remembered is that uh. hfjcheesy once said that people dont hold back on moldys erm.disease#he called it disgusting human disease and i giggled at that.#ok tine to stop rambling this is so stupid brah.... i only talk abt bfdi with certajn friends#this kne friend in particular hates ahen i yap abt it.💔#bfdi leafy#two tpot#tpot gaty#bfdi gaty#test tube ii#test tube inanimate insanity#ii lightbulb#inanimate insanity lightbulb#match bfdi#pencil bfdi#i love them theyre canon in my heart Trust❤ just ignore the latest episodrs they dont do then justice :(#x bfdi#x bfb#hes so ugly in this art dawg. ive drawn more of him but its digital and ugly
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calloway family reunion ✧
#ts4#sims 4#I HAD A BLAST DOING THIS#the amount of lore i have for these guys swimming around in my head#too bad i don't know how to logically get it out of my brain#i'm gone now though bye see you in march#unless i spontaneously drop out of school because i can't take this much longer#will answer asks when i get back sorry to keep u waiting#ily 👋#also#top row cillian and cathal you know them#row 2 felicity daithí's daughter and margot felicity's mother#row 3 the twins aunt róisín and their sister who's name i can't remember i'm so sorry LMAO#and finally their mom muireann i LOVE HER#i would like to do a part 2 with the dad n uncles and the twin's other sisters#but they don't fit the prompts and i don't have time!!!#i also really want to make a family tree but plumtree sucks#gonna have to just make one in photoshop#ts4 cas#goodnight it's almost 1am
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unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP
retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).
Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping.
if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know
^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises
even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you
even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird.
there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6
#text#i've been putting more meaning(?) into the nelvas-es i've been drawing lately so i wanted to see how it would reflect in words#the fact that dis will show up in tags will haunt me a little bit but if i add asteriks it will be incomprehensible LOL#i hope this isn't too hard to understand when reading bc i know i have an easier time reading stuff like this instead of 'snobby' writing -#- bc i like knowing how the thoughts were brewing as they were written down.#but it may not be the case for all people.#what do U think of it.#i think what i;ve always liked the most in being able to talk w/ people Online is getting to know their thoughts on the same thing#more than anything else#i literally sucked and spit out all of the skajrim lore factors out of their relationship pretty much (not that it had much in the first -#- place) so it's just a reading on a possible scenario with the characters i was given#i mean characters i put in the soup pot decorating the middle of my brain#this is december-may 2024 facts for now#just so i remember#abuse //#< OKAY#log#< is gonna be my tag for this type of thing if i end up saying more because i already started torturing my notes app with what i think of -#- civil war characters#tumblr is pussy so it made me reformat the paragraph breaks i made. they don't rly matter anyway but still
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When Matthew tells you he's been a bit stressed with debut preparations, you help him get his mind off of things. With some handcuffs and a torturous, never-ending hand job.
#you know what. maybe i am delulu but the more i listen to this the more i think it sounds like him. oh whale#caption kinda sucks but you get the gist. the one i had before was even worse because brain no worky#it's also almost 6am and i just worked a wink shy of 12 hours so who knows if i'm even in the right headspace to even be editing and postin#i just kinda remembered that it's been a minute since i proposed it and i'm in a fuck-it-we-ball kinda mood#if it's a flop kindly let me know and i will delete in the morning i.e. when i wake up#whenever that'll be#i'm like 82% percent sure it's a flop though#so don't be afraid to tell me if it sucks bc trust me i already know#ayo have i ever rambled this much in my smut post tags? i think i've finally lost it#in my flop era for sure because what is this. what am i doing. why am i the way that i am#def going to bed now#pls don't hate this as much as i think y'all are going to#seok matthew imagines#seok mattew scenarios#seok matthew smut#seok matthew audios#zb1 imagines#zb1 scenarios#zb1 smut#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone scenarios#zerobaseone smut#kpop smut#mine
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HELP GRAY FULLBUSTER yknow what i see it. natsu was my fave for awhile before rogue cheney came along lol
u guys have no idea but i had the biggest fairy tail phase when i was in middle school and i was in love with gray fullbuster it was crazy. i dont know why. i really truly dont remember why but i thought he was the coolest fucking guy in the world. i hated juvia. i dont anymore, i think shes actually really cool but to this day im not entirely sure how i feel about her and gray just bc. the stalking 😭 that was kinda crazy. also i was mad cuz i wanted him with erza but also its been like so many years so if my takes suck take it up to 11 y/o me i never finished the series. anyways natsu actually based i loved that guy. i watched fairy tail in english and so when i got to awakening for the first time, i got morgan, he started talking and i was like HOLY SHIT. NATSU DRAGNEEL? like i was floored. insane. i had to look up rogue i forgot that guy but he looks like a pokemon trainer kinda
#asks#i really dont remember anything from this time in my life#probably bc like most people on tumblr middle school is something my brain blocked out bc WOW that sucked#but omfg i was in the wattpad trenches for this shit#i read this one really fucked up gray x reader fanfic and then i never read an x reader again bc it was like#idek man it was fucked 😭😭😭 like i dont think im gonna go into it further it just. wow. anyways
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cabenson fic recs please? (like the ones you can read over and over again)
i've rec'ed most of my personal favorites here and here, so you should definitely check those out first, but here are some more:
Descent by milk3002 - established relationship!cabenson are working a case together and it goes south (make sure to check the tw in the description before reading)
Business Dinner by milk3002 - explicit; 4x06 dinner canon divergence
Splinters by VivalaB - post-congo, alex is back to prosecuting for svu but before she gets the chance to really talk to olivia, they both get abducted
Alex Cabot Was Drunk by aolurker - alex gets drunk with the sole purpose of confessing her feelings to olivia (this one's unfinished but it's worth a read)
A New Life by AOBZ - post-ghost, alex is going back into witsec and olivia decides to come with her (this one introduces an OC halfway through which is not something i normally enjoy, however i haven't been able to find a lot of fics which describe their life together in wpp, so if that's something you're looking for this one might be for you)
Mine by AOBZ - alex gets attacked by a perp and ends up in a hospital
The Cabot Cabin and Trial & Retribution by VivalaB - sequels to Déjà vu, i hadn't read them at the time of putting together the first recs post but i have now and i enjoyed all three stories
Questions and Answers series by RaeDMagdon - starts with the extension of the hotel scene in ghost + their s10 reunion
Chain Reaction by VivalaB - alex blows off a potential date to go to dinner with olivia and it kind of backfires
Home Is Where The Heart Is by TriXter21 - olivia is dying and her ghost comes to see alex one last time (i know, sounds crazy but give it a go)
Not So Soft by tremblingmoon - a short one-shot of alex coming back from witsec
Blue Dress by trancer - olivia has a gift for alex
Contradiction by tigerDE - explicit; alex is thinking about olivia (written from alex's pov)
Flight Pattern by The Party After You Left - set around s13, alex is finally coming to terms with her feelings towards olivia who's currently dating someone else (this is one of my most recent favorite long-shots <3)
Holiday Short - Columbus Day by sunsetwriter - alex and olivia are celebrating columbus day (this author has an entire series of them celebrating every holiday under the sun, so you might want to check those out as well)
The Summary of Errors by omiceti - post-loss, alex is taken to the hospital
One Hundred Things That Might Have Happened by omiceti - a collection of 100 ao drabbles (this one might be one of my all time favorite ao fics)
No Wedding and One Funeral by omiceti - conviction crossover; alex and olivia attend mike's funeral (i have no idea who mike is but it's good)
Three Ways to Die Trying by omiceti - and die they do. very angsty
you might need to use vpn to access omiceti's fics but trust me it's worth it. hope you enjoy!
#cabenson#law and order svu#fic recs#i hope these short summaries make sense i suck at remembering what i read yesterday let alone weeks or months ago#and my brain is just not working properly rn i feel like i keep using the wrong words all the time#ig this is my way of saying it ain't much but it's honest work and i hope you like at least some of these!!#boy do i need to finish that ao fics google doc one day. not today not even this year but eventually
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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Hey if you’re still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me 😊 please and thank you
Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (“She was writing kids books!” They said. “She didn’t know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didn’t examine it closely. It’s a mistake anyone could make,” we said. “She would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,” we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.
That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of “maybe she doesn’t realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERF” and then “how could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things she’s retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her work” and finally “oh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.”
Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasn’t trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. It’s weird to discover that there’s a room in your house that’s rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you can’t live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending it’s still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadn’t yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because what’s going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.
JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic children’s books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.
#mine#Harry potter cw#yeah I don’t want to see or think about this shit either and I’m sure most of my followers are on the same page of just like. let’s wipe it#from the public consciousness and do our best to just completely ignore it and forget it existed and in doing so take away JKRs platform and#influence and also stop the continued harm the series will do by propagated hateful biases in people who continue to read it#but despite heavily culling my feed over the course of the past several years and thankfully mostly not seeing HP fandom things anymore#I’ve been seeing a lot of responses today to people defending it and honestly I forget that there are still people out there doing that who#think they are just fine and normal fandom people with non-hateful and terrible interests and it makes me so angry#maybe more so because like. I was there too! I was annoyingly obsessed with Harry Potter from the ages of idk seven? up until whenever JKR#started being openly transphobic. I have so much fucking knowledge about this book series that will never leave my brain. and yeah it was#weird and hard to have to rethink things and realize that no actually it does feel bad and uncomfortable to continue to be a fan even#passively of these books. it was a big part of my childhood and several of my friendships. I fully get it. I was the weird kid also.#it was weird and hard to say oh actually this sucks and I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. but I did it! I got there! because it was#more important to care about real actual things and people than it is to fondly remember a book series for children.#and at the time it felt like maybe I did hang on a little longer than I could have and was a little later than some people and figuring out#my feelings and moving on from the whole thing. but it was still fucking years ago. and you’re still here?#because you like the color of the wallpaper in this shitty rotten broken down tacked on room? because we used to spend time there together?#buddy the room was giving us lead poisoning the whole time and the rest of us have accepted that and we are all outside doing other things.#you will find connection and community in so many places in your life. I promise. get the fuck out of that terrible awful room#and for gods sake stop bring out handfuls of mold you found under the floorboards and shoving it in our faces#nobody fucking wants this. we did it. we’re done.#so yeah I think I have an extra level of disdain because I know from personal experience that it’s not *that* fucking hard to care more#about real life trans people than about antisemitic children’s books.
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I wanted to draw misakis funny shirt so so so badly but i couldnt draw her hat for the life of me :,,,,(
#watching mygo rn grgrggrrgrggrhr its so good#i love them all…… ive forgotten their names rn so i cant tallk abt them but i love them#art tag#bandori#whats the bandori tag. got damn#bang dream#hello happy world#girls band party#misaki okusawa#kokoro tsurumaki#dunno if i should use their ship tag its not like. ship art? theyre kinda just hanging out#man i wish bandoris beatmaps itched my brain as nicely as other rhythm games do#somethin about it…. maybe its just meaner to me but it doesnt feel as like satisfying to play? which sucks#and you can only use i think up to 3 energy things!!!!! getting the event stories are killing me let me use more!!!!!!!!#cutomised the hell out of the lane and beat thingies which helped a bit. maybe theyre too tiny thats what i dont like idk#remember seeinf bandori YEARS ago like ? what is this? anyway#and now look at me. im in the trenches rn. having the time of m ylife#i love sll the bandori characters o smuch ALL of them. ok im done. good bye
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Two cats I met while strolling through Tallin, thought you might appreciate them :)
I do!! I do appreciate them!!!! The tuxedo one even looks a bit like my Gríma :')
#ask#geminating#last night I dreamt she was still here with me#it was very bittersweet#I'm a rather lucid dreamer so even as I held her in my dream I knew it was only temporary#I also don't usually remember my dreams and this is a good thing usually cause I have chronic nightmares but I'm glad I did now#even though it did mean it kinda sucked to wake up without her#I'm just thankful for the small moments I still glimpse of her as my brain tries to process her loss#one day I will no longer remember the softness of her fur or the exact sound of her purr but that day is not today so until then#I am grateful for every moment my mind is able to accurately bring her to life in my dreams#she's not truly gone until she's forgotten and I plan on remembering her for as long as I can#sorry these tags are kinda heavy :(#I miss her
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i have adrino brainrot right now (do people even say brainrot anymore?? i don’t know but i can’t think of another word for it) and i want share how i view them because i haven’t read fanfic or seen anything else that’s similar enough to this
so adrien and nino are dating and they haven’t told anyone (maybe nino has told alya and adrien has told chloe (i love her and she and adrien are friends shut up) but marinette can’t know for this to work) they have multiple reasons for why they are staying silent the main ones are gabriel, nino thinks adrien doesn’t want to come out, and adrien doesn’t want nino to be bombarded with reporters, paparazzi, fangirls, homophobes/fangirls who want to date adrien (i say fangirls but i mean anyone not necessarily girls),etc if nino becomes popular he wants it to me for who nino is and what he does not because he’s dating a famous model/gabriel’s son and they like their relationship being just between them but that also means having to make sure that they are alone before they can do anything together which is a lot harder than it seems to be so nino goes up to ladybug at one point when he’s carapace(if adrino has revealed their identities to each other) to ask ladybug if it’s ok that if he and chat noir can publicly date because they’re actually dating but they have to keep their relationship secret and ladybug agrees but is a little hurt nino hasn’t told her (marinette) that he’s dating someone and that feeling comes and goes because she wants nino to be able to tell her this stuff but also doesn’t want to know chat noir’s identity and a little less publicly chat noir will flirt or tease nino when carapace is not needed (but only around ladybug/rena or when they think they can without causing a lot of attention so people don’t suspect nino is carapace) and carapace can’t really do the same with adrien (at least around rena and ladybug like chat noir does) but it’s very obvious to people close to adrien that he has the hots for carapace and has made jokes that if carapace wasn’t with chat noir maybe his celebrity status is enough to woo carapace and at times chat noir will ask for the turtle miraculous when he sees ladybug so him and nino can spend time together when they may not be able to as their civilian selves until nino gets the turtle permanently and even after adrino come out publicly they’ll still have dates as chat noir and carapace partially so people don’t think they’ve broken up but mainly because even if they could go do something together without at least one person coming up to them being able to chill with your boyfriend in places most people can’t get to is so much better than going to your typical date locations and the views are so much better (not that they usually look away from each other long enough to notice)
#i probably had more to say about this but i can’t remember#i’ll add more to this later if i think of something else#i love alya knowing about them because would definitely tease the two as rena or alya#i just remembered thought that if she knows that means she’ll know both ladybug and chat noir’s identities so just ignore that#but if she knows then maybe luka knows too??#at least very least he gets the jokes adrien makes about wanting to get with carapace#also i know my grammar and punctuation suck but you can blame my english classes for not embedding themselves into my brain#it’s easier to do nothing then stress about doing it correctly#miraculous ladybug#ml chat noir#carapace#adrien agreste#nino lahiffe#adrino#ml ladybug#rena rouge
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