#my brain is still processing
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Apparently after watching the act 3 (and last) my brain decided that my only topic of conversation today will be Arcane, I don't complain
#I'm talking about Arcane like four hours ago lol#i'm going crazy#my brain is still processing#much to think about#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane act three#arcane s2#jinx arcane#jayvik#caitvi#viktor arcane#ekko arcane#happy and sad#arcane league of legends
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finished watching madoka magica, i have no idea how to feel rn-
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holy fuck spiderverse good
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mouthwashing hurts huh?
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something something a chat i am in discussing the loneliness of Armand who needs someone to define him and see him, so
"...it was ghastly and awful and loathsome, and beautiful all at the same time."
and yeah i kinda just want to give ppl hugs with anything i do and talk to them in hushed tones, so there you go
#art is a coping mechanism#fan art#interview with the vampire#daniel molloy#iwtv armand#armand de romanus#vampire armand#armand#eric bogosian#assad zaman#i still need to figure out Assad's anatomy#he's too beautiful#it makes the process tougher#Eric's face is fascinating in a completely different way#Assad's features seem simple to capture because ANIME VIBE but it's all about the tiny nuances#artist's rant#lots of words in the tags#also tmi but i perceive the world through touch and boy does sketching Eric tingle my brain in the best manner#iwtv spoilers#iwtv fanart#iwtv art#amc iwtv#devil's minion#armandaniel
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oughhhhh i put them all together with duck tape and autism
#transformers#transformers one#tfone#orion pax#d16#megatron#art#tw bright colors#tw eye strain#sorry about that#legend says there's still 4 other versions of this sitting on my computer... spooky...#i dont know how to ex´plain this but this is my brain thinking about tfone#part of it is processing the Epic New Clips and screaming about them. another is insane ab9out d16 and orion. another is imagining everyone#as kitties and puppies. and another one is throwing up about the colors#'i dont know how to explainthis' <- proceeds to explain it. ok then
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ACT 2 "You're... me?" "That's right, stardust!"
You know I've been drawing Loop as their Siffrin form so much that it's got me thinking. I've read and seen so many fics and artworks of Loop eventually getting back to looking like their old self, but I don't think I've seen any so far of Loop already being a mirror copy of Siffrin. So uh, yoink?
ISAT AU where the game plays out the same way (plot-wise at least) but Loop looks like Siffrin the whole time and while Siffrin is extremely perplexed that there's another him, he's still gotta accept their help because how else are they supposed to escape the loops? Good ol' Loop is here to help, helpful friendly Loop!
Siffrin is going through it still but Differently.
#In Stars and Time#ISAT#ISAT Spoilers#ISAT Siffrin#ISAT Loop#ISAT AU#illustration#digital art#artists on tumblr#the creativity process#fan art#id in alt#TCSS AU#think this is the first time i've come up with a proper AU at ALL so um! i'm going to call this#two coins same side au#EDIT: CHANGED THE AU NAME BECAUSE I HAD A BIG BRAIN MOMENT OTW HOME FROM WORK#honestly i already have lots of ideas for this. like how the intro convo goes and how act 5 plays out when siffrin has the Moment with loop#and ESPECIALLY with how the convo “who do you think i am” will be changed i have thought IMMENSELY about that#i'll get to that one first at some point! i've got a lot on my plate art-wise but i'm excited to do this haha#if i still did writing (and had the ideas for a good plot) i would do it but comics and excerpts will do for now
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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after act 2 I thought Sky is the hexcore manipulating Viktor.
after act 3 I thought Sky is the real Sky, both she and Viktor are being manipulated by hexcore as they see their magic as something good when it actually isn't.
but 1: if that's real Sky why did they change her model
but 2: how can she possibly see their magic as good when it literally killed her? did she thought "it killed me but revived Viktor so it's ok"? alright
then, I believe, when she realized all this evolution is NOT good, it was too late to persuade Viktor. she be "he won't listen to me anyway lol bye" so her death does nothing to his hexdamaged brain.
and then we see Jayce persuading him in like 3 minutes. I'd believe Jayce meant more to Viktor than Sky but it was Sky who was with Viktor all this time when he rejected Jayce right after his resurrection. It was Sky who inspired and guided him in his herald path.
and they made her to be just a metaphor for his humanity to discard when she was a REAL person with her OWN mind and POWER to affect Viktor. well guess she wasn't.
thank you arcane for senseless second fridging of a female character with big ass actual potential. mwah.
#added a thought in comments!#I do respect viktor & jayce brotherhood. nothing bad about them but something there is really unfair#viktor isn't viktor after his first death surely we can shift the blame onto his goofy ass but still#I'm still digesting the show so I can change my mind#but now as everybody's talking about that I wanted to add my brain process ahaha#arcane#sky young
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20Nov24
The thing that could always bring gladness Will now surely always bring sadness. Four men in black dress Laid their brother to rest. Liam’s gone? What the fuck is this madness?
#liam payne#rest in peace liam#tw liam's death#my brain is entirely disinterested in processing his death#i've made no progress — it's still october 15 and he's still alive#still can't listen to 1D#the funeral coverage seemed very sanctioned#it was kind of his family to let fans in on the grief#i hope they've had a lot of time to grieve privately#i was so moved all four were there#and that they seem to have orchestrated a unified front in terms of displays of mourning#giving the media just enough to write the headlines#but not turning it into a 'reunion' spectacle#what's hitting me hard is seeing them dressed in their funeral blacks#i fell hard for 1D with their performance of through the dark on snl#i didn't know anything about them before that#and seeing these five men in svelte black suits was so contrary to what i imagined them to be#(well — four were svelte. louis was straight up slutty.)#and their funeral attire takes me back to that moment#but 'through the dark' plays in my head like a dirge now#will it ever not be hard?#hope y'all are all ok#liam's funeral
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Animation commission I guess...
Um... ha-ha, okay, it has been stuck in my head for the whole month, but if I will keep it any more I will explode, I need to busy my brain even more I'd like to take an animation commission. Like, a fully colored, shaded, with lightning, with in-betweens, with the clean line (and background). Up to 5 seconds depending on what you want to get I guess the price may start from 250$ and be higher or less depending on complexity of the details, character or movement (<- of course everything will be negotiated) I never took such commissions before so please be patient with me since I might spend even months ha-ha (really wanna beat this fear of taking something more complex) But I will do my best since it will be first experimental time for me 1. Payment via Boosty after acceptance of the sketch animation (very rough idea) 2. I think I can draw mostly anything (but won't 18+, guro and I can decline something if I feel like I will not like to do it) 3. You must have a reference of the character, I'm not ready to work with something that doesn't have a ref to start working right away 4. Please, properly think of what you'd like to see, I will not make 3 different rough animations of different ideas because you suddenly had another idea ;~;; 5. Note me in dms if you'd like to take commission... (I'd like to move to discord later since it's more comfortable in here) Uh... I have only this as a more or less proper example (it was based on amazing storyboard by yeye23)
Okay, I'll just leave it here if someone really will be interested and will delete if it if it will be decided.... I just feel like my brain is dying if I don't have an enjoyable/stressful more complicated work on a side that demands an attention from me. Have a nice day
#I just...#I have what to do#Plenty of what to do#But it doesn't stress me enough to make my brain work#Such kind of commissions give me both a boost of work and enjoyment because of the process#So... yeah ah my brain is very much lacking it right now#And I think it will be interesting to finally do something complicated again but more properly#from the very beginning#I need an experience while I have time to pay attention to it#commission#I'm still not very confident to take money for these kind of works so I need to understand what pricing is okay for what I'm able to do wit#animation...#*opens the door*#*leaves the stage*#hahhh my dear life why did you give me such a lazy brain...
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And I just have to tell you that I
Love you so much these days,
#homestuck#dirk strider#bgd#brain ghost dirk#jake english#dirkjake#hs2#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck epilogues#candy epilogue#admin draws#fanart#i cant even pretend im normal about my own art or this song im sorry#im tryna think of something to say abour this and i keep thinking about the lyrics and i GRGRHHHHFHFJG#i dunno man. i love plastic beach. i cant say anything here that is not gallbladder-achingly cheesy#but just. i dont know.#jake keeping a little bit of dirk in his heart all those years. even if bgd is 'all' jake hes still in the memory he carries#when i listen i find myself stuck between which singer/verse should be jake and which should be dirk. but the answer is simple#theyre both both.#jake thinks hes the one singing abour getting abandoned. but really hes the one losing himself in the substance#and dirk. dirk is the one watching him lose himself. but since hes just a part of jake. yeah.#'i have to tell you that i love you so much these days' both as something jake is saying to dirk and what jake wishes dirk was there to say#hes so alone in that reality. even if he might not admit and go so far as to imagine dirk saying it. its something that deep down#he aches to hear. the man who has deemed himself unlovable and incapable of love. he still wants to hear it despite himself#he still wants to say it despite nnot being able to bring himself to even process that emotion#sigh. see what happens. i cant talk aboht it bc a single line turns intoTHIS
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scrappies cause HE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 📖
#witch hat tag#orufrey#witch hat atelier spoilers#AAAAHHHHFRUHFREJGKLGGL;GFF..... tired i will make better Celebratory I Survived The Qifreylessness of 2023-24 art later#so many chapters end with some horrific threat/mystery that will not be cleared up yet or possibly not for like a YEAR. lol *accepts it*#i still haven't processed the chapter yet ive been trying to calm down. and kitchen 5 should finally arrive. YIPPEE!! life isn't SO bad....#i think i will pour some of my feelings and contemplations about loneliness into an original comic. i keep meaning to. for me. i guess#i am very VERY grateful that i get to be safe inside a house and read my silly beautiful little manga. even if my brain is breaking down
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me after watching across the spiderverse
#it’s the jake johnson cinematic universe we’re just living in it#just absolutely brilliant#what a piece of cinema#my brain has still not processed what my eyes have seen#spiderman across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse#across the spider verse#spiderman across the spider verse#spiderman: across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#miles morales#gwen stacy#peter b parker#miguel o'hara
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Welcome to another week of..... Why the fuck are you looking at each other like that if you're not gonna fuck?! Feauturing a bonus side of PAIN
In the words of my beloved Old Maniel:
#I have work in the morning so I am going to bed AND NEVER WAKING UP AGAIN#joking i love you all but my brain still cant process what the fuck i just watched#Devils minion#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire spoilers#armand x daniel#armandiel#armandaniel#Armand#Daniel Molloy#old maniel#my gifs
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Watching over you 💙💫 [x]
#destiel#spn art#spn fanart#dean Winchester#castiel#supernatural#wiggleart#I had sketched this out on my old iPad based on this original doodle I did years and years ago#and wanted to finish it up on my new work space so I didn’t have to worry about layers haha#I’m still getting used to that lol it’s so weird going from 10to 70 layers like my brain can’t process it#also yes I took this line for the art from the show but I did narrow it down to watching over you so it can#match with our official unofficial anthem watching over me lmao#shhhhh I’m perfectly fine
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