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trashlie · 3 years ago

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ILY FP 180

Me to me: Ashlie you have a post IN WORK right now that you have been mulling over for the last two weeks it’s NEARLY COMPLETE maybe you should finish that up because you have 3 others swimming in your brain?

Also me: I HAVE GOT TO SCREAM INTO THE VOID ABOUT 180 WHILE IT’S HOT AND FRESH WHO’S READY TO TALK ABOUT PARALLELS AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

Alas, I am nothing but predictable and very true to myself, so my current post will have to take the backburner so I can yell into the night about this recent FP episode. Because LISTEN, I have FEELINGS! And I know you guys do, too! Parallels? OH WE GOT IT. Character development? IT’S THERE. Whether or not you ship Nol and Shinae, it’s a REALLY good one. And that’s it for my teaser, I’m trying so hard not to spoil anyone hahaha.

I’ve had nearly 24 hours to mull over this one, so if this post comes out longer than usual (and frankly, who is keeping track anymore) I can’t even apologize, but I WILL do my best to try to be at least coherent.

Compared to the almost palpable relief, the giddiness of things acknowledged leading to it, episode 180 is intense, with tension bubbling right to the surface. On a superficial level, it even seems almost scary - this version of Nol we have only come to know in secret, hidden away from his friends - with how different Nol is compared to Yeonggi. But something we must always remember is that context is important and that’s going to be a big theme of this overview for me. Context and perspective.

I get the feeling that Shinae definitely did not expect Nol to stick around, even though it’s what she wanted. When she made that point to “talk to Minhyuk” about Nol, it was with the hopes that he would overhear and come follow, but I think at the same time, it was the only way for her to attain closure. Though she wanted him to come, I think she also expected him to run away again and didn’t really consider what it would be like to face him - face to face, not calling down from the balcony - after saying such exposing, vulnerable things.

Like I noted in a previous post, Nol choosing to join Shinae on the balcony (and by literally climbing up there no less) is a pointed decision on his behalf. He’s given the opportunity to run and instead he decides that no, he is not going to run. Tonight, he is going to face Shinae. And he does. And I think it’s important to note this because it frames their entire interaction in this episode.

Taken aback by Nol’s unexpected choice, Shinae finds herself embarrassed, I think. She probably feels exposed for the things she said - she literally sang praises about him lol but it’s easier to say those things when he’s not there to react, right? Saying things to his back when she doesn’t have to FACE him. But now she has to - they sit beside each other with the weight of all their reveals and confessions hanging between them. Shinae’s confession of caring, of him being a dear friend, Nol’s confession that she is special she is important, his decision to return instead of run away. It’s so MUCH for two people who guard their hearts so much, who struggle to be open and reveal what is in their hearts.

I think Shinae also carries some unaddressed anger - anger that he lied, that he DID walk away, that he was never going to tell her these things, anger that she cares and thought he didn’t. There’s a lot of warring emotions going on, for both of them, I think.

In her embarrassment she retreats into her shell, falls back on old habits of shutting down and putting up her guard. I love the absolute irony of it - that she lured him to come back, and when he did, she balks at it. She didn’t plan this far ahead, she didn’t think she’d get this far!

And that’s the thing. Nol knows this about Shinae, both because he can read her like a book and also because they are SO alike. They’re both so stubborn and terrible at expressing their feelings, especially the kinds that leave them so exposed and vulnerable. I think he, too, is teeming with the things revealed, the things exposed. That he never realized how much Shinae cared almost makes me laugh, considering the entire interaction in the rain, but knowing the way Nol views himself, I see why it’s still something for him to take in, especially in light of what she overheard.

I’m going to take a moment to really highlight this, even though I don’t think we need it. Nol hasn’t had many genuine relationships in his life. Dieter, Soushi, and Shinae are, probably, the only real friendships he’s had. We’ve seen time and time again the way Nol reacts in shock to the things Shinae notices about him, the details she picks up on, and her stubborn, unrelenting care about him. It’s so foreign to him, both something wanted and something dangerous. To let himself care about someone is to endanger them and weaken himself. And yet, here he sits with a friend he’s struggled to keep away from - who literally only was able to keep his distance by presenting himself as a monster and revealing his betrayals/lies and even THAT barely worked. Likewise, Shinae’s closest friend is Minhyuk, and we know that while their love is deep and honest, it’s a bond like family, something organic that bloomed out of Minhyuk’s protective nature and their shared interest. This, though? Uncharted territory. Their friendship is so shortlived at this point and moreover, they don’t really KNOW much about each other? Everything about the importance of their friendship is so emotionally connected and charged. They are important to each other for what they’ve gone through and things they DO know they share in common and how they gravitate towards each other for that. Shinae knows (or at least, believes) innately that Nol has a good heart, that his deeds came from a good place. It’s the same way Nol knew that Shinae needed someone to pull her out of her shell. To cajole her.

And again she needs it.

Nol has made the decision to do as she goaded him into doing. He didn’t run away. He’s facing her. But now that he is, SHE is the one running away, closing herself off and then literally trying to get up and leave. She made this big fuss about what he means to her and wanting to see him again, but once he’s there, her walls are up and lol she’s just bluffing her way through. “I don’t need you here anymore.” “I’ve always enjoyed the quiet.” “I’m out of here.”

Through their conversation, Nol doesn’t look at her. He looks away from her but she’s the one who keeps looking at him, falling into his traps. He plays her like a fiddle - once upon a time, Shinae really DID want to get away and avoided him but now? Now she’s not. He calls her out on her bluff and she’s ready to escape except he grabs her wrist, pulls himself up.

Ordinarily, I don’t like when a guy grabs a girl’s wrist, because often it’s either possessive or denies her agency. But in this case, I don’t think it’s either of those, though it does lean into the agency thing. But I’ll get to that. Something I didn’t realize at the time of reading until someone else brought it up was the way this parallels episode 11 when they met at the bakery following the party where Nol was drugged. It’s a STRAIGHT UP PARALELL. Nol grabs her wrist to stop her from running, says “Yeah, right. You can’t fool me.” He holds her hostage even as she DOES in fact, scream. The whole time, she’s trying to get away from him, fully intends on running away. In that scene, Nol (as Yeonggi) does, indeed, deny her her agency, roots her in place.

But here I think it’s more like... he’s done what she wanted. He returned, he decided not to run away. But if she does, what does it resolve? Especially with him on the eve of being locked away, there’s no other opportunity for them to clear the air. Though she said she got what she wanted - closure - it’s not what they mutually want. Even the way she tells him that with this closure she’ll be able to move on... probably. She’s not even certain of it. Because deep down she, too, wants to reconcile but she’s just not good at navigating this. It’s one thing to say those things to a retreating figure, another to actually discuss it, together, face to face. But if not now, then when? She’s so good at running away!

The parallels man! THE PARALLELS

“Hey let me go!” “If I do you’ll just run away again.” / “Let me go!” “If I do, are you going to run away again?”

Unlike the first time, I think Nol knows Shinae doesn’t really WANT to run away - it’s a reflexive habit of hers, it’s an act of self-preservation. He doesn’t maintain his grip to control her, but because he knows that if he DOES let her walk away, if he does nothing, then nothing changes, then this all stays the same, then he goes away for four months and nothing is truly resolved.

In that same regard, we have ANOTHER parallel. In episode 103, Shinae confronts Maya about the cake she made - clearly with the intent to apologize to her - and the undelivered apology. She pushes and pushes and pushes until finally Maya breaks and admits that yes, she made the cake for Shinae, that yes she felt bad. And that’s what Nol is doing, too. Much like with Shinae and Maya where they NEEDED to have that conversation, they NEEDED to address it and each other, Nol is pushing a conversation that has to happen now. The contrarianism of Shinae saying all those things to lure Nol out only to balk and try to run - he wants her to be honest with him, because he’s trying to be honest, too. I looooooove how she uses that line lol that the world doesn’t revolve around you because he’s caught her in her bluff lmao

“Let me go or I’m going to scream.” “Then do it.”

In episode 11, she did just that. In episode 11, she actually wanted to get away, she was actively trying to avoid him. Bu she isn’t here. And Nol knows it. He dares her to scream not because he wants to scare her or make her feel threatened, but because he knows she won’t do it.

Like earlier, this entire conversation takes place without Nol once glancing at Shinae. Until he dares her to scream.

Only when he tells her to scream does he look over at her and they make eye contact - really intense eye contact, where he holds her gaze unyielding, calling her on her bluff and challenging her to be honest. If she screamed, I’m sure he’d let go. Nol’s grip isn’t with the intention of denying her any agency. If she truly wanted to escape he’d let her, but he knows better, and so does she, because she doesn’t scream, and it’s not because his gaze is so intense and intimidating that she gets flustered.

“You don’t have to look at me that intensely... geeze. It’s making me feel weird...”

Something of note is that this is Shinae’s first real interaction with Nol - not Yeonggi, but Nol. While yes I think it’s safe to say that her encounter with him outside of his school was her first brush with Nol, it was such an emotionally charged, desperate, messy situation wherein he himself waffled with his own feelings of concern, apology, and need to exit their lives. This is a totally different thing - a version of her friend who isn’t propping up their conversation on jokes and blanketing things he doesn’t want to discuss. In this moment, everything is on the table. Nol is challenging her to be honest with him, to face him the way he’s facing her, to stop running away like he has.

And she folds, spectacularly.

Shinae’s weak resolve crumbles and her honesty finally comes spilling out (though, notably, she looks away from him when it does; I told you guys I’m on to something with truths spoken when not face to face lol) revealing to Nol why she wound up letting him in. And as she does, another spot of vulnerability reveals itself: her scar.

This is SUCH a good moment for them! I love it to DEATH! Nol has revealed that he feels like the universe is punishing him - that bad things happen to him no matter what he does, even if he tries to fight back, he feels like there is no end to it. And because of it, he has internalized that he’s bad, because the only people who need to be punished are bad people. The use of punishment is so very key, because even though we already know Nol thinks of himself as the bad guy, it’s a mindset that he’s internalized from his inability to escape the terrible things.

But Shinae throws it back at him, because he isn’t the only one plagued by a trail of unjust scenarios. He’s not the only one who fought back and got screwed over. He’s not the only one who has been unable to untangle himself from a series of bad luck no matter how hard he tries. But unlike Nol, Shinae doesn’t think it means she’s a bad person (anymore) or that she deserves what happens.

“Sometimes people are just born into bad luck and you just need to accept it. But all that... doesn’t mean you’re bad.”

Shinae knows (or at least believes) that Nol is not a bad person. That he is someone who couldn’t help but come to care for the people he was aiding in a quest for his own absolution. That he’s a person who saw a girl who had locked herself away and convinced her to open up, to give people a chance, that he gave her the push she needed. She knows that Nol has, at every opportunity, done his best to help her. And even if his intentions are selfish, it doesn’t entirely negate the goodness of it.

Nol is complex, like all of our characters: selfish, good, and bad. But the experiences Shinae has shared with him have revealed that though Yeonggi was not entirely real, Nol still isn’t the monster he thinks. And she knows it, because she’s lived the same life as him. Abused simply for who she is, where she comes from, the family into which she was born. Looked down on for things she cannot control. She has been viewed as violent for reaching a snapping point (and given how closely their lives mirror each other I am STILL inclined to think that Nol’s altercation with Kousuke was also him driven to a snapping point).

I think he’s seeing this, too. Nol has been given a lot of clues about Shinae’s life, without her ever coming out and confessing to any of it. He saw the eviction notices at her apartment, knows that she’s been going through financial troubles, he knows that her dad is her only relative and that her mom is out of the picture and her only grandparents died before she was born, that her sister is LITERALLY stalking her. Shinae’s trauma goes deeper than Nol had first thought, and with that knowledge coupled with her reveals that she, too, has been dogged by shitty circumstances, I think he’ll be able to see more of himself in her and hopefully see her as someone he can open up to, when he’s ready. More than that, I hope that Shinae’s reveal will help him to reframe his own traumas, because if Shinae is not a person who needs to be punished by the universe, doesn’t that mean the same for him? MIRRORS, man. MIRRORS. It is time for him to see himself in Shinae, and maybe even learn to forgive himself.

And they CONTINUE to mirror each other right to the very end, when Nol reaches out to touch Shinae’s scar. Isn’t it funny, how in the rain she allowed hm to brush away her tear, cupping her face but because this is her scar, her most vulnerable of vulnerabilities, her most secret of traumas, she reacts IMMEDIATELY - just like when she dared to call Nol by his real name. Unlike Nol’s, Shinae’s scars are physical, but just like Nol, she does not freely give people a pass to know them. She’s always very conscious to keep her scar hidden. Nol has been able to see through the flimsiest of Shinae’s masks, but the one thing she keeps heavily under lock and key is her scar, the physical manifestation of her worst betrayal, the worst time she was burned.

The irony of Nol knowing that he reacted so strongly to Shinae using his name and still touching her scar does not miss me lol. Does he not consider how personal it is? Is it because he knows how personal it is? His reaction when she swats away his hand is not surprised - in fact, he looks wholly unaffected, kind of like he expected it to happen? Or maybe it’s just enough surprise? Idk. I mean, clearly he broached something very private and personal, but from a narrative standpoint, I kind of love that moment, because now they’ve both bared something very vulnerable to each other. Each are now aware of these little exposed pieces of anguish and pain.

And the way he questions it! “Was this punishment?” Using that term, still. Punishment, for a thing she never did. Punishment. For trusting the wrong person? For being hopeful? Referring to it as punishment feels like such a shared experience. In fact, by referring to it as punishment, I think it negates the flippance of “accident”. An accident implies something faultless, a thing that occurred that the other party didn’t mean - and I still don’t think Alyssa meant Shinae harm or expected her to fall and get injured but it still had grave consequences. Shinae could have died! She could have suffered some kind of brain damage. It’s a physical scar she carries of the time she tried to be someone’s friend and was badly burned. It wasn’t an accident, but a punishment for hoping for something she wouldn’t get.

Idk I just. I love that? Just like Nol is going to jail for a crime he didn’t commit, a punishment for his existence, for daring to think that he could have friends, that maybe things could change, that there was a chance for things to go well. In neither case did either of them actually do anything wrong, but they both carry the heavy burden for it regardless.

When Nol remarks that he never knew she even had a scar there, it’s the second time in that period that he’s noted something he didn’t know about her. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me.” There’s so much that Nol and Shinae don’t yet know about each other, and despite that, they are still SO drawn to each other, bonded by their shared experiences and an emotional connection. And idk I love THAT, too? Because so much of their friendship until now has been a mess - one pretending, one trying to shake him, chasing each other back and forth. FINALLY they are facing each other square on and FINALLY they are going to face each other as equals, get to know each other as equals. Nol, acknowledging that he’s no longer pretending, will hopefully open up more, share more, as she does the same. And though addressing her scar is definitely an invasion of privacy, it’s the beginning of just that - sharing and revealing and getting to know each other. The bond they’ve already forged is clearly really hard to break, so it’s only natural that the getting to know will follow, because the important part is established. That connection, that importance, the level of care. Nol isn’t calling out the scar to be insensitive - he’s already revealed that he cares about her, that she’s important, so seeing something like that probably is appealing to that part of him - to the part of him who can never help getting involved in her problems, who knows she can take care of herself but “that won’t stop me from caring”. He WANTS to know, to share, though I’m not sure she’s ready (or at least not ready to reveal the WHOLE thing).

There is so much yet for Nol and Shinae to learn about each other, but first they have to resolve their current issues so they can start over in a better way. On equal footing.

Before I close this rambling mess off, there’s something else I’d like to touch on - at the very end, Shinae says “Nobody is allowed to touch that”. Now, prior, she also emphasizes don’t you ever do that again, but we’ve also seen instances in the past where nobody is used to allude to Nol. “Nobody... it’s nobody Kousuke.” And we know that Kousuke is the one who reduced the affectionate nickname Nol’s mom gifted him to null, to nothing. It feels like this might be one of those little tricks of quim’s “we know you’re the true heir”, “it’s nobody Kousuke”, those little moments where something is laden with another meaning, a bit of foreshadowing.

Don’t get me wrong lol I know that’s completely conjecture and I’m not saying that for sure it’s alluding to anything, but I do think this episode is really laying some groundwork for potentials. I’m always stressing how much of the story so far feels like a foundation set for Nol and Shinae, fostering an environment where it’s possible for them to grow into people who could become lovers. I’m not saying that that’s exactly what this is - at the very least we know it’s setting the stage for an enduring friendship. I can’t help but be curious to see how Nol and Alyssa will interact following this, given that their last interaction was that argument about Kousuke and where Nol would rather be. Does he count Alyssa amongst the friendships that became real? He never did mention her, and he didn’t know Shinae was listening in, so he has no reason to leave her out. I guess there’s also the whole possibility that he knew his friendship with Alyssa wasn’t pretending at some point - and yet his relationship with her is? Idk I want more insight to that!

But again, it just brings me back to the foundation that’s been laid out for Nol and Shinae. At this point, they truly are the two characters with the closest bond - prior we believed it to be true but now it’s actually real, they are taking those steps and starting anew. There’s a lot of tension, but I think that’s largely because of her defensiveness and the things they need to discuss yet, and I’m hoping they have the opportunity TO do that. The way the episode ended feels PRIMED for someone (Minhyuk, or possibly Dieter) to interrupt - compromising position, looking like they’re fighting/being antagonistic? Imagine Minhyuk coming to check on Shinae and see what’s taking her so long and find her with Nol, like that. GOD. It would be one way to break the tension for sure... but it would also put an end to that conversation and I’m really hoping that they get to finish. Quimchee rarely does what I expect, so I hope that if the cliche choice is to interrupt them and leave this conversation unfinished, we’ll be blessed and that WON’T happen. Because we all know Minhyuk would not respond well to that. And god we don’t even want to get into Dieter walking in to that, gah!

I think the more unexpected thing is for Shinae to drop her guard a little and for them to recover from that tension themselves, to resolve the lingering issues before Nol goes away. Someone on reddit said something along the lines of if this moment is interrupted, it will be like a sneeze that doesn’t come to pass and I agree.

#I Love Yoo #ILY #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #it's going to take EVERYTHING in me to not leave a novel of spoilers here in the tags lmao #let me instead just shout: PARALLELS PARALLELS PARALLELS!#MIRRORS!!!!!!!!!!!!#CALLBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!#FOUNDATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i have so many feelings about this episode #which is better? 151 179 180?#ALL OF THEM #I love every moment that they have character development together every moment that their relationship grows #real growth!#GOD I LOVE THEM

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ren-c-leyn · 2 years ago

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Happy STS Ren! What about a scene comes to you first? Piece of dialogue, first line, conflict, imaginary, voices,...What else do you need to write it down? @writingonesdreams

Also any hints on what the celebration in October will look like?👀 Your enigmatic posts are making me curious.

And if there is a writing/thinking update I would love to hear how you are doing ^^ How is the dark princess wip?

@writingonesdreams

Happy STS to you too, Dreams! :D

That depends on the scene in question. I got on a ramble, multiple rambles actually, so here's your very favorite thing to get on sts and wbw: a read more.

Some of them it's the first line, like the opening of The Shackles of Time. Some of them it's dialogue, like the scene I have in mind for the ending of book 1 of The Dark Princess wip. Some of them it's imagery, like The Time Keeper's office scene in chapter 4 of The Shackles of Time and the tea scenes in Forgotten Gods. Then, there's times it's the conflict, like the last couple of chapters of Forgotten Gods and this explosive scene in the middle of The Firewalker.

I never really know what my brain is going to latch onto to to inspire a scene in my mind, but in order to actually write the scenes out, I need to know what came before it. I can't just dive in and start writing an ending scene without knowing what happened in the middle, or the beginning, of a story. Which is why I have to write in chronological order, otherwise the scenes don't fit right and I can't get my mind to do the cause and effect chain I use to keep my stories on track.

Usually I don't need much more than that. I can roll with just a snippet of dialogue bridge where I'm at to the dialogue without an issue. I can do the same thing with just a first line of a scene and then use what came before and my ideas for where the next big plot point are to roll it that way.

If I'm working on a one shot short story, like the ones I used to write all the time for the blog, then I don't even need that much. Just some kernel of an idea and I'm good to go.

The joy of having a chaotic writing process that not even I can predict lol XD The downside of this process is that if I'm not getting that random spark of inspiration for a scene, or a scene that's relatively close, I hit snags where I need to actively start hunting for that snippet of dialogue or line or conflict or imagery I need to get the story to go again.

As for the October anniversary celebrations, what can I say besides it's a surprise? Okay, okay, I actually have a lot I can say. I'll give you a spoiler for the special post I did complete, because it turned out awesome and I need to scream about it a little bit: making things sparkly is super fun ^^ Having three people do far say they love the same sparkly thing in The Shackles of Time gives me lots of excuses to make this sparkly thing over and over again in different contexts. Oh, and I have an idea to turn one of your answers + one of your favorite Shackles of Time Incorrect Quotes into another thing. It'll be the next celebration thing I work on after the current thing I'm doing, since it's going to be a format I've never worked with before and I might need a couple of runs at it to make it work. Before I work on it, though, I'm going to finish Arlen's introduction post art so it doesn't get lost in the celebration stuff.

As for writing updates, I don't have much to report. I'm just getting back into the swing of being on tumblr regularly and creating things again. My life is settling down again, thank goodness, so I should be able to start clawing out more time for writing and plotting and stuff.

I will definitely be working on The Shackles of Time as my main focus, though, since I'm releasing those extra chapters in October and December to celebrate, along with an extra new years chapter, so I need to get ahead. I don't have enough written at the moment for all of them. Which is fine, I've been looking forward to introducing the new team, which will be the next arc. The trio have one more rookie quest to go before Glenn and Zephyr get their date mini arc. I'm looking forward to that, though I'm also a bit sad since the trio being turned loose might mean less of their fun mentors. I'm thinking of ways to keep them involved, and I think I have a few ways to keep not only Glenn and Zephyr involved, but also Wyndulin. So we'll see how that pans out when I get there.

Dark Princess is still going, though it is admittedly on the back, back burner at the moment. I have a general idea of the layouts of the kingdoms before and after The Dark Empire starts it's warpath. I also think I more or less have the diplomatic relations between the kingdoms figured out. Still have not finished building all of the characters. Did I say this is a huge cast? It's like over 20 characters I need to keep track of. No one is named, yet, and I don't have everyone's loyalties figured out. But hey, at least I have the major players in the plot more or less built. So progress!

Still haven't built the magic system, but I think I figured out the basic structure I'm going to be going with. It's inspired by The Shackles of Time's multiple traditions, the Lumen from Long Live The Queen, with a twist of The Plight of a Sparrow's consequences. Maybe. That's the general framework that's sticking with me as I'm looking into different magic systems, so I think that's the one I'm going to be going with. I need to set down and set up the rules of the magic system as a whole, but I'm going to put that on the back burner until I finish building the court. How many nobles could there be in a castle? *insert laughter that slowly trails off into a long sigh*

As one of my housemates are fond of saying: You just can't make anything easy on yourself, can you, Ren?

The answer is no, no I can not, but at least it makes for good stories, right?

#sts #The Shackles of Time #The Dark Princess of Acontinum

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wanderingalien142 · 3 years ago

Text

His Scientist

Helmut Zemo x Reader

Summary: Fluffy Zemo taking care of his partner

Warnings: pronouns used: They/them (let me know if any others were used), fluffy... that’s it...

Word Count: 845

Translations: Liebling= darling, Schatz= Sweetheart (if wrong blame google translate lol)

Side note(s): This is my first completed fan fiction and I thought screw it someone might enjoy this like I’ve enjoyed others so on the off chance at least one person does this is for you! You beautiful/ handsome human! It was also written in one night... so I apologize for any grammatical errors no one has proof read it soooo yeah... enjoy!

Zemo’s POV:

I walked by the study with a mug of tea in hand. I had trouble sleeping so I had gone to read in the living room by a small fire. It had gone out not long ago, now in the early hours of the morning I know why I had trouble sleeping. Seeing the light seep through the crack at the bottom of the door I lightly pushed it open.

Walking up to the desk I set down my mug on one of the papers that had been scattered across the desk. Some contain handwritten notes, some formulas, graphs, diagrams, and many other things I don’t quite understand. A couple books on the right side of the desk are open. Some closed with bookmarks of more notes sticking every which way out of the books that were stacked on the desk and even some on the floor. An empty mug of presumably coffee to the left and empty plate with crumbs from a quick snack of which I’m sure is the only thing they’ve eaten. A lamp is on the left corner of the desk hanging above the cup and plate. I turn it off and rest my hand on the person who’s fallen asleep in the middle of the papers with pencil in one hand and book in the other.

Taking the book I leave it open on the page knowing there’d be hell to pay had I closed it. Resting my hand on their shoulder I bend down and kiss their head. Smiling gently at how relaxed they are, it's rare to see but it remains to be one of my favorite things to behold. Opting out of waking them up I reach down and pick them bridal style leaning their head against my shoulder.

I nudge the door open with my foot and walk them down the hall to get some proper sleep in bed. (y/n) had been overworking themselves on a new scientific theory as usual. Laying them down I did my best to move the covers without waking them. (y/n) then raised their hips and legs so I could get the covers over them.

“How long have you been awake liebling?” I asked grinning.

“Since you walked into the study. Also you left your tea on the desk.” (y/n) said eyes closed grinning. They cuddled up into the covers and turned over. I simply chuckled of course they knew and I simply left the room going to get the forgotten mug. “Don’t forget to turn off the light Helmut!”

(Y/N)’s POV:

I heard the door creak open and shut gently. The tea mug was set down on Helmut’s night stand and I heard him hang up his robe. Pulling back the covers he slid into bed. Instantly I cuddled into his chest and sighed much more comfortable than I had been on the desk. He wrapped his arms around me and left another kiss on my head.

“Thank you for getting me.” I whispered as not to disturb the calmness that had settled like dimming lights upon us.

“Anytime schatz. But you know you need to stop overworking yourself, or at least eat properly.”

“I know but you also have no room to talk. You do the same thing and you know it.”

“I know but that’s no excuse for you.” He chuckled. It was a nice sound and comforting to hear. I smiled hearing him and feeling how his body slightly shook and how his arms wrapped around me a little tighter.

I yawned sleep taking hold once again after working my brain all day. “Thank you for leaving the book I had open, I was afraid of losing my train of thought.”

“I knew you’d be mad had I closed it. I honestly don’t know how you keep track of any of your research in that mess.”

“We all work differently, you’d probably go mad trying to follow how my brain jumps around.” He chuckled again and I felt him nod.

“But you had better hope that mug didn’t leave a mark on the paper you set it on.” I felt him tense up a little. I laughed and yawned once more.

“If so, I'll make it up to you liebling-” This promise caused you to break away a little bit and look up at him smiling, an idea had already come to mind.

“But I will not be an experiment for you.” Helmut finished having read your mind.

“You never want me to have any fun.” You complained frowning. You had suggested he help you with a theory in which he would be an experiment years ago. He had agreed but quickly backed out saying he was joking realizing you were only partly joking. It has been a joke of yours ever since then.

“Right now I want you to sleep.” Leaning in, he kissed you. And pulled you back into his chest. “Goodnight my little scientist.”

“Goodnight my baron.” I sighed and fell asleep to get some proper rest.

#zemo x reader #helmut x reader #baron zemo x reader #x reader #baron zemo

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prose-for-hire · 4 years ago

Text

C-C-Cold Hearted

Pairing: Spike x reader [platonic]

Request: So glad your requests are open again!!! I have an idea for a platonic spike x reader, where reader's kind of a goody-two shoes with the Scoobies, but is actually punk in her personal life? I imagine Spike finding out after she drives everyone off home after a long fight and she swaps the music, forgetting Spike's still in the back (because he actually shut up for once, lol) but do it however the inspiration takes you. Thanks kindly! (Also no pressure if you don't wanna do it, it was just an idea I thought you'd be really good at.)Spik

Requested by: @cameo-greaves

A/N: I haven’t written a platonic Spike fic in a long time !! He’s protective like a big brother kind of relationship with the reader. So this was nice (I hope this was okay love) 💖💖

You and your friends had all been driving around looking for a demon. You had decided since Sunnydale had decided to completely freeze over it was better to take the car. You were driving Buffy, Willow, Xander and Spike around. Spike had insisted he came and Buffy eventually gave in. This demon was supposed to be hard to defeat.

Willow had cast a spell on your car so you wouldn’t slide around on the roads and you were all wearing coats in the car because no matter how much you tried you couldn’t warm up. The cold got everywhere.

The demon was named Jacque. He was large and ogre-like. With power that nobody knew the full extent of. He was somewhat of a myth, even according to Giles’ books. He had stretched light blue skin and he thrived in this weather. He was ice cold, his heart was literally a block of ice, one that never thawed. He had an icicle constantly hanging from his nose.

He had appeared one summers evening, turning the entirety of Sunnydale into Lapland. Nobody had seen this much snow before and it was only continuing through the weeks. Buffy and the rest of your friend group had been stuck in researching rather than having snowball fights like you all wanted.

There was a demon freezing people to death and you needed to figure out what you were looking for and quickly. Which is what you had been doing this evening. But you had been driving everyone around for hours now and there had been no sightings.

The radio was on, some tinny song you didn’t recognise. You didn’t get to hear much of it anyway as everyone was talking and laughing around you. You grinned as Xander cracked another joke with Spike just rolling his eyes and slouching in his seat.

Spike had shut up while the others in your car had gotten louder. He was just staring out of the window, he had offered to drive but you and your friends had said no. He took a lot of risks and in the snow the Scoobies could all see him managing to wipe the entire group out and managing to walk away unscathed. He had wanted to make sure you were back home before he got in. You had forgotten that he was still in the back of the car with everyone else chatting.

He kind of positioned himself in his own head as your big brother. He was weirdly protective of you but he didn’t let it show very often. You were too kind, a total goody-two shoes. Everyone thought so anyway. He was convinced that you wouldn’t last a second if you were left on your own.

You dropped each off one by one. It took a while people walking to their houses, scared of sliding around. You paused, making sure everyone got to their doors safely – not that you would have been particularly much help if anyone had been attacked by a demon waiting in the snowy shadows.

When you thought your car was empty, you exhaled slightly and turned to root through the glovebox for your music. You didn’t realise that there was a vampire still slouched on your backseat. You leaned in putting a cassette tape in and playing the first track. The music started, pounding through the speakers. You couldn’t help a smile spreading on your face.

You slammed the steering wheel in time, ready to launch into song alongside your favourite punk song. You hit the first note before you were interrupted suddenly.

An arm reached from the backseat to turn the dial up. He happened to like this song too. You screamed (and not in time with the tune) near drowning out the music that was playing. You had forgotten he was there and almost skidded into a snow drift on the side of the road.

You slammed on the brake and turned back to look at him, horrified to see Spike still there. You had been caught out. You weren’t too embarrassed or anything, you were just shocked he was there. He had actually managed to stay quiet for once.

You kept this part of your life away from the others. Especially Spike, you didn’t want him to look at you and think you were a poser. On the weekends you would often frequent local punk venues, soaking up the music and meeting people with a shared interest. You even dressed slightly differently (your look was a lot more toned down usually).

You needed a hobby that you could separate from the reality you lived in. You and your friends saving the world all the time, it was kind of heavy. You needed this escape. And what better than the embracing arms of the punk genre?

The lyricality of it you felt within. The heavy music and the powerful voices just spoke to you. In a way that nothing else had.

It made you feel alive. It woke you up from the dreary hopelessness that could consume you in Sunnydale. You could just get lost, it lifted the spirits when you were just shouting along to the words.

You and Spike didn’t speak much, other than squabbling over petty stuff. He just sort of turned up when you ended up stumbling into trouble the way you usually would. He often grumbled at you that you would happily plant your neck into a vampire’s jaw given half the chance.

You knew he looked out for you but you didn’t realise why. You were the same age as the others but he had a soft spot for you. You reminded him of his sibling. From when he was human. Now he realised you were slightly more similar to him than he thought in music taste at least. You were still as sweet and unassuming as you always appeared to be despite this revelation.

“Spike!? I could have crashed!”

“Didn’t though, did you?” he maintained, “Since when did you get any taste anyway?”

“I have always been cool, thanks very much” You insisted, turning your nose up at him and he scoffed.

“Wouldn’t say so, platelet. Unless you mean ‘cause of the weather that is” He teased which made you roll your eyes at him. Though you ended up smiling at him, you couldn’t help it.

He was always good natured with you. Made sure you felt safe around him despite him always insisting he was oh so evil. The others would tease him for it. They had thought he had fallen for you at first but he had made it clear he felt a duty of care to you. Couldn’t explain it, decided he didn’t owe it to them anyway.

“Well, now you know I guess… don’t tell the others?” You asked and he nodded. You appeared relieved. He wouldn’t want the others discouraging your interest. Your hobbies. He knew how that could be.

“You go to any shows?” He asked after a moment of silence, looking outside as he asked. The snow had began to slowly fall again. It was unending at the moment. Bleak.

But he’d rather look outside than watch you pull faces at his interest in your life. You would pretend you found it lame. He cared and you made it difficult sometimes despite it being in your nature to be kind.

“I go to the Fishtank sometimes to see the local bands play” You answered matter-of-factly. This was another reason you didn’t tell the others – they’d try to make you stop going. That place had a bad reputation.

He thought on this for a moment and then looked at you in the reflection of the rearview mirror as you anticipated his reply being one of disdain for the bar. Even he only risked that place if he was desperate.

“Well, if you ever need someone to take you there and back…” he offered, his brow furrowed at the idea of you out on your own in the middle of the night on that side of town.

“You want to be my chaperone? That’s so punk, thanks Spike” Your reply dripping with sarcasm.

“Offer’s there” he shrugged. You were about to open your mouth, maybe thank him or something. He really didn’t have to offer and it was him appearing to be genuinely kind without ulterior motive which was wholly unlike spike. But you chose to see the good in him. You were one of the only ones that did.

Just as you were about to speak there was a massive thud on the roof of your car. The roof dipped in slightly under the weight of whatever had jumped on there. You shouted in surprise as the demon jumped onto the bonnet before turning and landing on the ground and turning to face you, squinting into your car.

It was Jacque. The frost demon. You had finally located him. Complete with the sharp icicle on the end of his nose. But now you had found him, were completely slayerless.

Your brain caught up with you and you rushed into action. You reversed the car, manoeuvring the best you could to turn around while the demon set its sights on you.

“Bloody step on it!” He shouted, slamming his hands on the headrest of the drivers side as if it would make you drive faster. You would have said something snide about backseat driving but you were too panicked.

As you started to drive at a much faster pace, Spike threw himself into the front passenger seat with some struggle. His goal, not only to help you, but to turn the music right up. You were blasting the punk song for all of Sunnydale to hear as you drove recklessly through the streets and away from the demon blasting shards of ice at your poor car.

You took your eye off the road for a split second and really did drive into a snow drift this time. You couldn’t get the car started again. You would have to try and run. In what felt like six feet of snow.

The demon was more than double Spike’s height. Still, he ran at it with full force. Landing offensive blows where he could. The large demon swiped at Spike and sent him flying into your car leaving another large dent in the side.

While Spike was recovering, you tried to step up but you knew straight away it was going to be no use. He stared at you hard, using your body heat against you. Turning your body entirely cold. Frozen solid. Blue ice began to slowly create a layer on the outside of your skin.

“You c-c-cold hearted son of a-” Your teeth chattered as you tried to finish your sentence, but it was too hard to speak. You were so cold. You were becoming a statue. An ice sculpture. It was slowly creeping up your neck onto your face.

“Bitch!” Spike finished for you, spinning into a kick that knocked the demon backwards from where he was walking towards you.

“You do not have a heart either, friend… let me take this one” He gestured at you as you shivered in the icy prison you were encapsulated in.

“Not on your life”

“Okay” He shrugged, running at Spike again. They fought hard against each other, but Spike managed to gain the upper hand.

You began to thaw now his attention wasn’t on you although you were still very cold. Shivering violently. You could only watch as you started to be able to feel your fingers again although they felt as if they were cramped up. They were still numb.

Spike landed several successive blows, blocking the shards of ice that the demon threw his way. His ice powers wouldn’t work on a vampire. Spike knocked his feet from under him and

He took out his stake, piercing the large demon’s heart and shattering the shard of ice where his heart lay. The demon just lay there before eventually turning to snow like its surroundings.

He nodded once, looking at where the demon had once lay. Before turning back to you and gesturing with his head for you to walk back with him.

Spike took you home, teasing you lightly as you walked about how punk you looked when you were stood like a cold fool while he was fighting the bad guy. You shoved him and he rolled his eyes having to catch you as you overbalanced on the ice. He should have let you fall and taught you a lesson but it was instinct.

Hopefully now the demon was taken care of, all of the ice and snow would thaw sooner than later.

#Spike btvs #spike x reader #spike imagine #spike x you #platonic x reader #platonic Spike #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #btvs #btvs x reader #btvs imagines #btvs x you #gender neutral #gender not mentioned #Jacque the Frost demon #platonic #Spike

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ryosmne · 4 years ago

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OMG SIA!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! 🤩💜👏✨

200 people that appreciate and love your talent [including me ofc 😜]

I would love more about Dancer!Sukuna Please 🥺. Maybe Sukuna and MC end up late at the studio rehearsing the new choreo but since it’s just them the mood is less strict and more fun and flirty!! 💃🕺

About me? Well, since I found out your Tattoo Artist!Sukuna my brain has been in brain rot Sukuna state 25/8 lol 😆 but tbh, I don’t regret it 💅✨, funfact I’m a fashion student and my pronouns are she/her 😬.

Anyways, I’m so proud of you! And I know you’ll reach even more within the time and the amazing works you come up!!! ✨💜✨

Thank you so so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it a lot 💜💜💜

I completely forgot I had made Dancer! Sukuna headcannons, so thanks for reminding me :D I'm glad I could infect you with my constant thoughts of Sukuna as a secretly really soft tattoo artist 💕. Again thank you so much I'm all giddy and happy :> and I'm sorry it took a bit long, college was a bit of a bitch but I'm getting back on track :D will definitely revisit Dancer! Sukuna too. Hope you enjoy reading and have a good one :> 💗💜💜💜

Choreographer/ Dancer! Sukuna x F!reader

Warnings: a bit of suggestive content, language, that's all.

"You're dragging your left foot again."

Of course y/n was dragging her feet at this point, the studio was supposed to be closed, but her and Sukuna stayed late, a common practice amongst them, cause Sukuna wants to show her the choreographies that don't make the class, today was a bit different though.

"What's with you, I've showed you the routine three times and you're still messing up the footwork"

Y/n grasped choreos really fast, usually by two ties she'd have everything down tonight wasn't the same, she didn't really know why but she was much more nervous that usual.

"I don't want to keep you here if I keep messing up, I'm sure you've got better things to do and I've got class tomorrow"

Sukuna gave her a little laugh, this girl was an open book. "What's the fun in going home so early? We haven't even gotten to the good part yet and you better be designing those sneakers I asked two months ago in your 'class'"

Good part? Y/n questioned in her brain, fearing that her oh so lovely trainer would have her do flips. Again.

"My legs hurt, give me a break."

"Come on, you're always so whiny, let's just do it together"

Together?

Sukuna turned the music on again, that guy who lives upstairs would definitely make another noice complaint, but Sukuna couldn't care less. This scene has been stuck in his mind for days and a guy with a stick up his ass isn't going to stop him from actually living what he's been replaying in his head, dying to actually experience.

"Come here"

Y/n didn't need to be told that twice, and hurried over to him, Sukuna grabbed her shoulders and placed her Infront of him as gently as he could, he's a big guy.

"Ok, follow my lead"

He did his usual five, six, seven, eight and quickly begun moving.

Y/n followed along as best she could, her muscle memory kicking in, she found it easy to execute everything Sukuna was showing her for about an hour and a half.

She barely even noticed the intimacy of their moves at first, untill Sukuna's hand found her waist and pulled her back to reality. His presence was almost suffocating and the way his eyes never left hers didn't help either, but y/n tried her best not to mess up from his constant distraction. One way to do that is to play along, but what would happen if she did? There was undeniable chemistry between the two, everyone could see it, rumours were spreading in the studio that something was going on with them and the little crowd that gossiped and fawned over them doing their thing only added fuel to the fire.

Sukuna and y/n moved in perfect harmony, the sharpness he had complimenting her softness, their styles are so different but they work so well together, their eyes still locked, Sukuna found y/n's expression impossible to read as the song was close to an end, but he only wanted to saw her in closer just so he could figure it out.

The song was over much sooner than either of them wanted, the final poses being a bit too close for comfort, with y/n laying under Sukuna, who stared down at her with a grin plastered on his face

"Would you look at that? you should've said you wanted to do it together from the beginning, you didn't miss a single step."

Y/n let a groan out as he rolled off of her.

"My legs are killing me."

"I can think of a few ways to loosen up."

Y/n reached over to him and smacked him on the arm too tired to try and argue with him.

How was he not out of breath after this many hours and still in his usual teasing mode, one can never know.

"You should make them blue, like that top you wore yesterday, hightops."

"What?"

"The shoes, I want them in blue."

"Didn't you want purple and orange Chita print last time?"

Both of them were sweaty laying there staring at the ceiling.

"I didn't think you took that seriously."

#jjk sukuna #au ryomen sukuna #au sukuna #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader #choreographer Sukuna #a happy ryosmne #ryosmne 200 followers event #jjk drabbles #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #sukuna drabbles

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black-rose-writings · 3 years ago

Text

I read Ruin and Rising because I’m bored

And I also hate myself

Like with the last book, I have a vague idea of the plot and stuff from tumblr and fanfics. I will also be refering to Darkling as Sasha for most of this.

I am still Darklina trash and don��t particularly like Mal.

On a different note, I’ve finally moved for college, but the internet here is trash, so I’ll probably have a lot more reading time now, since most games I play are online and will crash without internet.

Before

Cool story. Let’s hope Alina stays a badass.

Who am I joking, I know how this ends.

Chapter 1

So far so good. I hate the Apparat, per usual. Alina’s there basically dying and that bitch can’t wait to see her do so.

Cult leader to the core this one. He probably hates that his figurehead is alive and also not brainwashed.

Cult leader doesn’t like swearing. How surprising.

My boy David is completely right. What kind of irresponsible dingus keeps centuries old books in a fucking wet-ass cave? (Or a tree for that matter *cough cough* The Last Jedi *cough, cough*).

Genya is fun to be around.

Oh, shit, let’s go.

Chapter 2

Jesus Christ, Alina, Zoya isn’t that bad.

This is one hell of a shitshow.

I live for this version of Alina. Badass. Scary. I want more of this Alina.

Chapter 3

Out of all the random little details from crappy smut fics, I did not expect Oncat to be from the books, lol.

Mal actually has a supernatural tracking ability. Like, literally, they put a bug into the pouch with gunpowder so he could make the shot. I guess this was kinda said before, but never this directly, right?

Alina’s merzost-skyping Sasha now, yay.

Alina is horny for Sasha boy. Yay.

Alina canonically has a praise kink. Nice.

I hate LB with all of my heart at this very moment. How dare she bait us Darklina people like this? How DARE she? (Shipbaiting is the worst, seriously.)

Yes, yes, yes. These two lines. That’s what their relationship is all about. They’re each others foils, the yin to the other’s yang and... ugh. I am Darklina trash to the core and this hurts.

Darklina: You have a terrible taste in men.

Alina: I liked you once.

My boy Sasha walked into that one.

Chapter 4

Alina is a Queen. And we love her.

David, my beloved, my spirit animal.

It’s surprising they can read it at all, given it’s been centuries. Have you ever tried reading medieval manuscripts?

Honestly, with a father that crazy, it’s no wonder Baghra’s a bitch. And I’ve seen it said somewhere that the books imply Ilya’s experiments are what caused Baghra to be a shadow summoner and you know what? I can see how you’d make that connection.

Why is there so few Tidemakers in the books? Waterbenders are useful. I want more waterbenders.

Alina picking up some habits from Baghra I see.

Ah, yes, we love an educated giant.

I’m starting to think Harshaw is a bit nuts.

Shut up, Hershey. Or at least share the weed with the class. I’m not here for this “He’s mean to you because he likes you”. I might believe that in like, elementary school, but yall are (more or less) adults. Jesus.

Well, that was a bombshell of a twist.

Chapter 5

Oh boy, we’ve got some trauma bonding for out merry band of misfits. Yay.

Adrik has a crush on Zoya. And she hates it, lol. Cut the kid some slack, he’s like 15 or something.

That reminds me, I have a four-leaf clover pressed in books from close to year and a half ago. Time flies.

They’re really diving into the Mal has supernatural powers, huh?

Ghosts, let’s go.

Alina “I’m so happy to be outside I start to shine like a fucking fairy” Starkov and Mal is entranced. He’s definitelly nicer now. I’m not forgiving him for all the shit he’s pulled before and for using the silent treatment way too much, but hey, at least he’s improving.

I am not a Zoyalina person, but like... gay? Please? Rivals to grudging allies to friends to lovers, 300k slowburn? Sounds more fun than whatever Mala dn Alina have going on, lol.

(I’m starting to realize I’m not as much a Darklina person as I am anti-Malina person, lol. Like, literally everyone has a more interesting dynamic with Alina than tracker boy over there. Malina is at best boring AF and at worst toxic, codependent and emotionally abusive, while also being boring AF at the same time. It has literally nothing going for it except God herself liking it).

I can see why Nadia is gay in the show. The book version of her definitelly has a crush on Tamar. Homegirl likes a woman, who can murder her with the flick of her wrist and honestly? Same.

Alina has some big “coming out of lockdown after a year” energy atm.

The cat is one of the most realistic characters in this thing, lol.

And since Tamar is also heavily queercoded, our lovely ladies make off into the night, flirting. Or maybe not. Let me dream, though.

At least Blade Boy is aware that his tattoo is stupid. To quote someone ranting about him on tumblr: He’s embracing his identity as a tool.

Oh, boy, this will be fun.

Evil soldier is horny for Mal. Saints, is there a woman in this book who isn’t horny for Blade Boy?

And here comes Niki to save the day.

Chapter 6

Niki saved the day.

Fiberglass? And David being David. Genya being in love with her nerd of a boyfriend.

Jesus Christ, this one crazy kid has moved the technology in this universe a whole century on his own. So, when is David going to propose to him?

Baghra hasn’t changed much I see.

Baghra’s about to drop some truthbombs, but no, we have to be rudely interupted because Genya’s rapist is throwing a fit.

Chapter 7

How does Mal sound? Is she gonna say the Blade boy sounds like her dad? I mean, I know voices are partially genetic, but it has been tens of generations between them, probably.

So, we’re finally taking Genya’s trauma seriously after all this time? Good. Better late than never, I guess.

I wish that regicide was already finished and I’m pretty sure that Genya does, too. Stop defending the fucking king, narrative.

David’s a nerd in all things I see.

Someone please just kill the king already. And the queen, too, for good measure.

Now that’s a romance.

Infodumping and listening to said infodumps is a legitimate love language, Alina. Let them nerd out over poisons.

Wait, has Alina never directly killed anyone before? I thought she did... hmmm.

And just like that, it should have been over. Ugh.

Somehow, Baghra is a better teacher now than she was before. She half feels like a completely different character.

Nevermind, she’s back at it.

Chapter 8

Holy shit, Nadia and Tamar are canon. They have canon gays here.

So, which one of them is gonna die?

Chapter 9

We arrive at that scene. The one, where they should have fucked.

Jeez, girl, get a hold of yourself. Life is short, fuck a villain.

In other news, Genya and David definitelly fucked.

Chapter 10

Poor David. He just wanted to know.

Damn... I never realized just how young Baghra was, when she killed her sister.

I’ve already made a post about this, but it really does strike me like Baghra has already decided to end her life at this point in the book.

Why is that whole “but what if we’re related” thing even in there?

Chapter 11

We love a suprise attack.

When did Sasha boy learn that trick?

Baghra really just did that. Oh boy.

Chapter 12

No, don’t kill the kid... ugh.

Emotiona support cat. She should be friends with Milo.

Porrige for brains. Oof.

So Nadia was the one, who got bees set on her in the book. Cool.

That’s a good question. Why was it never brought up to Alina, that other Grisha get blocks, too?

David already thinking of steampunk prosthetic for Adrik is honestly kinda sweet.

Chapter 13

Back home... kinda.

Is that really... you really care about Mal bonking the Grisha school mean girl over a year ago? Okay.

Chapter 14

Angst! Yay!

And more angst.

Chapter 15

Sasha really went “My mom killed herself to save you? Well, I’ll kill the closest thing to parents you have.”

Chapter 16

Nikolai’s alive. Kinda.

And these two have such a sibling energy, I can’t.

And then they fuck. Ew.

Chapter 17

Wait, wait wait... so Alina isn’t even the one to destroy the Fold?

Okay. That’s... weird.

Holy shit. That was...

So, Aleksander is dead. Mal isn’t. Someone else destroyed the Fold for Alina and now she has no powers.

Okay.

That’s a weird-ass ending.

Chapter 18

The gays survived, so that’s nice.

Genya made good on her promise of making Alina a ginger, lol.

After

What emotion is this supposed to give me? Cause all I feel is kinda sad.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #ruin and rising #book review #alina starkov #darkling #darklina

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kummatty · 3 years ago

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Do you have any tips on reading more :)

scream I really feel like I'm the last person you should be asking, I've been struggling for years to try to read more and I made my book goal 9 books for this year bc I couldn't conceptualize double digits... but I can share what's helped me some, first this post is rly great, and a lot of what ive been doing echoes it :

put reading materials all around you - I have stuff on my phone/laptop & often have tabs open to what im reading/want to read, a physical book in my bag, the pocket app is also great for keeping track of articles, it makes it easier to read throughout spaces in the day & reducing the time, distance, and decision making it takes to open something is critical for me; i prefer having a variety of materials too- articles, short stories, books, novellas, comics, poetry, graphic novels etc, the variety and different forms keep me engaged

know what kind of reading is going to hold your attention the most rn - to build a habit and build focus for reading, its abt knowing what im able to move through easier, I've been reading shorter books (more than 300 pages makes me hyperventilate), mostly fiction, and books I feel are at my current reading level; in addition to short form anything

on rebuilding focus, ive had to be conscious of where my mind is straying, and when it absent mindedly picks up other things or starts scrolling I have to remind it of what we were doing, and with that the intervals start to get less frequent if u keep doing it, and removing distractions helps; ill also say that i’ve been working on balancing/mediating my relationship to social media over time and that’s helped w focus and reading; all of it is such slow deliberate work

reading several things at a time - maybe this only works if your brain is already so scattered but rly not putting any boundaries on what i start and finish, i like having different genres/types of books, varying the content, jumping into one i just found out abt, returning to ones i started before, im always downloading something or the other just so its there when I want to turn to it,, idk sometimes u do have to stop yourself from jumping too much cuz you'll never settle enough to read anything but it's helped me to be able to shuffle bw readings based on my energy/attention levels and what I'm feeling like reading that day

the feeling of accomplishment has been important, shorter books help w it a lot - also so many great novellas/graphic novels/short stories/articles - and so do rly achievable goals like 9 books, u start to pick up momentum when u find yourself finishing things and feeling good abt it

making associations is also good advice, ive not done this very well but the idea of signaling to ur brain that you're transitioning into a reading space, could be time of day, where u sit in ur house, drinking something like tea whenever u start reading; I'm still trying to make a habit of reading an article/short story every morning so that I can read something complete before the day starts (and usually gets away from me)

and I do believe in hopes prayers and giving it attention in ur mind even if u don't do the reading that much yet - like having in my mind that I want to read I want to read has eventually helped me move towards making it a bigger priority even if it's taken years lol, it's honestly v difficult w work and other things to find the time, part of the reason I read so much this month was cuz of a lot of time off

im sorry this is so long when i don’t think i’ve said anything new, but i hope its helpful somehow! <3

#replies #put it under a cut cuz it got long #for no good reason #when yall ask me things like this #im so flattered and perplexed #and i want so much to be helpful but sincerely i dont know anything #im just trying a bunch of things to see what sticks

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ancientwastedlores · 4 years ago

Text

Undone by “Darling”

REQUEST (from @november-solarstorms): Celebrating another year of this earth being braced by Tom Hiddleston's presence! Lol. Might I make a prompt request? I feel as though it would be interesting to read from Loki's POV to explore the dynamics between him and a human female who is just as intelligent as he. She has a sharp wit and even sharper tongue. Her sarcastic and clever nature enable her to out-banter Tony Stark, the king of snark himself (may he rest in peace). But she is also just as flirtatious and salacious. She never blushes, never falters, and is incredibly clever. You can decide the nature of their encounter. Really im just in it for a good game of cat and mouse.

A/N: Okay, I had SO MUCH FUN writing this!! And yeah, this will run a bit longer than my usual fics lol. Also, there IS a Loki POV, just keep reading thaaanks <3

WARNINGS: none.

WORD COUNT: 1,932

____________________________________________________________________

Undone by “Darling”

17 hours and 6 white chocolate mochas later, it was finally ready - an upgraded version of Corvus Glaive’s glaive, this one spec-ed out to your fancies and requirements. It was a beast, and definitely not something Nick Fury would ever let you play around with, even if you made it.

Satisfied with your work, you remove your safety goggles and grin at Stark, who is working on his own weapon he scavenged from the Black Order.

‘I’m done!’ you say triumphantly, causing him to look up and groan. ‘How did you finish before me!?’ he lowers his glasses and looks at your weapon. ‘I’m smarter’ you say. ‘I went to MIT’ ‘And I didn’t, yet here we are, both in the same lab’.

He shakes his head, not unlike a petulant child, causing you to laugh.

‘How far along are you?’ you ask. ‘Still running diagnostics’. ‘Still!?’ ‘Have you seen the size of his hammer?’ he gestures to Cull Obsidian’s chain hammer on his work table, but the innuendo doesn’t escape you and you grin at him. He facepalms. ‘Y/n, for god’s sake...’ ‘You’re just tired, or you’d appreciate the joke too’.

You stretch your weary body and let out a deep breath. You’d test the weapon out tomorrow, but for now, you need a nap.

‘Take a load off, Stark. Hammer’ll be there tomorrow’. ‘Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you...’ he puts his goggles back on and get to work.

Loki’s POV:

Humans are surprising, but I always knew that. I never thought them boring, even if my brother says I do. Humans are of so little power but such incredible resilience that it’s frankly astonishing. I am inclined to believe that sometimes resilience is just stupidity... in most cases, I am right. But that’s not to say I haven’t come across some truly brave people.

Take the Avengers Tower, for example.

Just in here, you have Y/n, a brave soldier with the mind of an intergalactic scavenger, and I do mean that as a compliment. She’s awfully clever, she can build better than Stark, and has a track record of finishing every mission to perfection and before time. And then you have the Super Soldier Steve Rogers, a big muscled, big hearted idiot who often mistakes challenging our enemies for bravery and morality.

The two couldn’t be more different, but they get along like siblings. Not siblings like Thor and I... better adjusted, perhaps.

They sit in front of me, talking about some mission while they play Chess. Her moves are quick but calculated, his take more time because he’s more interested in telling his story than playing the game.

‘...so there I am, no weapons, no shield, bang in the middle of the Serpent Citadel...’

He’s a good storyteller, I’ll give him that. But not as good as Y/n. She paints quite a picture, full of delicious gory details and horribly dark jokes.

‘Steve, you have to pay attention, you’re losing’ she says. ‘Yeah, I don’t actually know how to play chess, I just wanted you to listen to my story’.

She looks up at him, almost offended. ‘STEVE...’ ‘Cool, I’m gonna go wrap Stark into a game of Battleships and tell him about my fight with Copperhead’.

She laughs as he leaves the room, and she puts the chess pieces away.

‘We could play?’ I ask her. ‘Is the God in a mood to lose?’ ‘Over confidence isn’t attractive in anybody’. ‘Oh darling, neither is telling someone what is and isn’t attractive’.

She’s never called me that before, and in the context it should seem cutting, but it isn’t. ‘Darling?’ ‘Problem?’ ‘It’s quite a term of endearment to set someone straight’.

She says nothing.

‘Cat got your tongue?’ I tease her. She only smiles and continues putting the pieces away neatly. Stark’s chess set is gold and black, all individually carved pieces. The pawns are all Iron Man suits, but that’s to be expected. She handles them with the care Stark would.

‘I mean...’ I continue, ‘honestly, if someone heard, they’d never let you live it down’.

And she carries on, unbothered.

‘Y/n!’ ‘Oh dear, look at you come completely undone with just one term of endearment’ she comments, shutting the chess set. ‘Whatever would happen if I held your hand?’

The very thought of it seemed to drain my brain of blood. I unwillingly glanced at her hands, working the lock mechanism of the box, her blue veins prominent.

‘Cat got your tongue?’ she asked.

I stood up, the human emotion of embarrassment becoming too familiar for me. ‘I’ll have to see you at lunch’. ‘Sure, darling’.

Oh, I hate how she’s enjoying this.

----------

The next day, Y/n booked a training room to test out the Glaive, and Stark had a rusty but working chain hammer. Steve insists on trying it out anyway, and now our breakfast is being spent on discouraging him from doing that.

‘Guys... if nothing else, I’ll still have my shield. Let me test it out!’ ‘Y/n’s glaive cuts through Vibranium, you know that, right?’ Stark says. ‘Y/n wouldn’t do that’. ‘Oh yes she would’ Y/n says nonchalantly as she sinks her teeth into a bacon and egg sandwich.

As she does, the yolk runs down her fingers. She makes a sound at the inconvenience and sets the sandwich down, then grabs a napkin. I’m hardly ever crude, but the energy it took not to take her hand and lick off the yolk myself could burn every star in the galaxy.

Captain America scrunches his nose at her remark, severely offended.

‘In any case, that shield barely covers your giant body. It will force Stark to make you a new one’. ‘What do you care about his giant body’ Stark says. ‘It’s America’s ass, Tony’ she takes a sip of her iced coffee. Steve blushes, and Tony rolls his eyes.

----------

The training facility is magic, of course, somewhere between a mirror dimension and Wanda’s reality powers creating a safe cocoon inside the building so no one can be harmed. Y/n hardly trusted anybody to fight with her except Thor, but given the nature of Corvus’ Glaive, she knew magic would be required.

And so she called me.

After getting into my battle armour, I stepped into the facility, equipped with my sceptre and the teachings of the witches of Asgard.

She whistles as I walk in. ‘Trying to distract me from killing you?’ ‘Are you?’ I ask. She’s dressed in a black bodysuit, details of purple in her belt and weapon harnesses. ‘Why yes, I am. Glad you noticed’.

The glaive is on the floor, and she stomps her foot on one part of it so it swivels up and neatly places itself in her hand. She smiles.

‘Try to keep up. I’m not just looking for eye candy in a training partner, darling’ she says, getting into battle stance.

With nothing left to say for the second time this week, I aim the sceptre at her and the stone at the end glows.

She charges and I shoot at her, but she spins the glaive and creates a shield which absorbs the energy.

She continues to charge at me. I shoot again, and again the glaive takes the hit. Not a scratch on her.

Once she comes closer, she simply places the flat end of the weapon against my chest, sending me hurtling back into a wall.

She spins the glaive and laughs.

‘Compliments of Wakanda. It absorbs any hits and charges up with kinetic energy’.

I get up on my feet. This is far from over. I create multiple illusions to surround her, all of them brandishing knives, Chitauri tech, and sceptres.

‘Damn, suddenly my whole evening has opened up’ she says, looking around.

Even my clones look around at each other puzzled.

‘Come on then, who’s up?’ she spins the glaive around. ‘One at a time or all at once, baby’.

They charge at her, and I expected her to fight them off at once... instead she plants the staff on the ground and ducks, and a semi-circle shell grows from the top of the staff, down to the floor... like a mini fortress, completely impenetrable. It could, no doubt, continue to take hits and build up kinetic energy, so I call off the clones.

She gets up and retracts the shell. ‘Nanotech’ she grins at me. ‘The whole shell sits in a disk. It can withstand bombs and even a moon’. ‘Is there any tech you haven’t adopted?’ ‘I’m an intergalactic scavenger, aren’t I?’

I stare at her, horrified. Can she read minds?

‘Maybe I can. Or maybe I heard you tell Stark when he was complaining about me finishing my weapon first’.

Silence.

‘Also, darling, you’re awfully predictable in your fighting’.

She picks up every trick and tech she sees, so beating her is less about weapons and more about cunning.

No problem. Cunning is my specialty.

‘Ready now?’ she asks. ‘Mhm’.

She takes a deep breath to ready herself, her eyes shutting slightly. Once they open back up, she stares in shock.

In my Jotun form, I give her my most menacing smile.

She cocks her head to the side, studying my icy blue skin.

The illusion I cast of myself approaches behind her, dagger in hand. Once it’s close enough and I can almost taste my victory, she raises the glaive and in one swift motion, sticks it into its abdomen.

The illusion disappears into green light.

‘Cute’ she remarks. She points the glaive at me. ‘What else you got for me?’ I shift back to my Asgardian form and sigh. ‘You win’.

Y/n laughs and lowers her weapon. ‘Oh darling, I won the second you walked in wearing all that leather’. She winks at me, then walks out of the facility. I feel a blush creep to my face, much against my will.

-------------

‘Maybe you should stick to your guns, Tony’ Y/n says, ‘Fancy suits is it for you, chain hammers may be overshooting it’. ‘Is that what they taught you in the back alley you learnt ironmongery from?’ ‘Yes! Do you want their number, I’m sure they’ll have a spot on the waiting list for you’.

Ah. Y/n’s relationship with Stark seemed more like mine with Thor. While they banter, Steve and Natasha tear up from laughing. I wouldn’t go so far as to call this domestic, but it certainly is comfortable.

‘Come on, the glaive can’t be that good, right Loki?’ Stark asks.

The company looks at me expectantly. ‘To say her weapon isn’t good enough means to insult your own tech, Stark. Everything about it is founded on your theories’.

‘So technically, it’s my brain that made the glaive so cool’ he tells Y/n. ‘Yeah, you could say that. The glaive comes from the same mind that manufactured Captain America’s dinner plate’.

Steve doesn’t find that one funny, but Natasha does, sending her into peals of laughter.

‘Oh whatever’ Tony huffs. ‘I’m going back to the lab’.

He stands up and Y/n grabs his arm. ‘Aww Tony, I’m just kidding!’ she pats his hand, ‘Look, you’re a brilliant inventor, we all have our slow days’.

He sighs and nods, and holds her hand. ‘Thanks... I guess I’m just not in my element, you know?’ ‘Yeah...’ she keeps patting his hand.

And the feeling of domesticity creeps in. We really are all a family. Y/n smiles encouragingly at Tony, and Tony seems more relaxed.

‘So, you want me to get you the number of that ironmongery, or...?’ ‘OH FOR...’ he snatches his arm away and storms out of the room, with Steve and Nat losing it all over again.

___________________________________________________________

Ah this was so fun!!!!!!!! I hope you guys liked it <3

MASTERLIST HERE

ASK BOX OPEN FOR FIC REQUESTS. Find GUIDELINES HERE.

#loki x you #loki pov #loki x reader #loki marvel #Marvel Avengers #avengers tower #avengers fluff #tony stark #loki fanfic #loki fluff #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston birthday #fic prompts

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the-volume-is-astronomical · 4 years ago

Text

The Crown, The Sword, and The Gay

Meant To Be Good News

A/N: ... heyyyyy- its been a bit. I got rapped up in exams and i felt like being productive today so u get a chapterrrr and i wrote another one so u have about two chapters guaranteed ill try to be more consistent lol (also long chapter as compensation)

(also let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist!)

First | Previous| Next

words: 2286

summary: Virgil doesn't want to deal with this mess but he was sent to deliver a message so, theres not much he can do

pairings: eventual prinxiety, eventual intrulogical, eventual moceit, Remile

warnings: some potty language (not much), stress, anxiety, negative self talk, food mention, worried for a characters safety

(let me know if there's any other)

They went up the steps in silence.

As they entered through the door, Roman grabbed the basket that was abandoned during the argument. He left it on a table near the entrance, he headed towards the corner with shelves, grabbed a brown book, nothing interesting in the cover, just a plain brown book and headed towards the window seat to read.

Virgil was struggling to decide if he should try to speak or not, he absolutely despised small talk but if he didn't talk he didn't want it to get awkward. He looked over to Roman because if he did decide to talk to the prince, what in the hell would he even talk about?! Virgil saw the royal glance up from his book to look at the small table near all the shelves that had a single red book, it was simple like the one he was holding, it just had a title, yet it caused more intrigue than the other.

When Virgil took a good look at Roman he looked somehow defeated, like he had lost- no, given up on a 100 year long fight. The monarch glanced once more at the table with the red book, this time however, he caught a glimpse of the stormy knight, “ You should sit down, the trip back alone takes a few hours, it's gonna be some time before you get to go back.” Virgil looked up at the prince who had resumed his reading, “Uh… yeah” he took a seat near the desk Roman kept glancing at.

Virgil decided to take a glance at the book. It seemed to be a fictional adventure book...seems interesting. Roman looked at the table again and spotted the tall knight carefully opening the book. “It’s an adventure book. Just a fairytale.” Roman’s voice seemed to startle Virgil as he immediately slammed the book shut.

“Y-yeah sorry, I didn't mean to open it without permission, that was so rude of me and-” Roman stopped him mid rant “It's alright, you can read it. One of my personal favorite books.” The prince smiled at him to show he didn't mind “I’m not much of a reader. I just uh… got curious, I guess?” Virgil didn't seem sure of his answer. “Well, I can give you a small summary! If you’d like me to, of course.” Roman backtracked pretty quickly, snide comments about how excited he got over meaningless things forcing themselves into his head. But Virgil’s “Sure, Why not?” Made him a little less apprehensive.

“Ok! So, the story is focused on this boy named Aaron. He is a poor farm boy living with his family in a village that was overthrown by the guards, they became corrupted and betrayed the royal family and took control for themselves.” Virgil just nodded along.

”They treated the least wealthy of the kingdom the worst, they didn't have money to bribe them with so to them they were useless, it got to the point where they were becoming the robbers, they would never steal from people with money because they were cruel people. Aaron and his father wanted to make a change but his mother didn't want them to, she wanted to play it safe and just gather enough money to leave for a better place.”

Roman rambling about the story not realizing how little of a summary it actually was since he definitely wasn't being concise, “I agree with the mom. Her plan sounds safe and effective.” Virgil didn't really mind, at least he wasn't going to be bored while he waited, “Maybe so! But where's the fun in that, dear knight?” Roman didn't really get the knights perspective “May not be fun but at least they'll get outta there without a problem” Virgil thought he was in the right and that the main character would make stupid reckless decisions for the drama and suspense.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Aha! They went back to the mom’s plan anyway! There was literally no need to try and do all that heroic shit.” Virgil was now fully invested in the story, he probably wouldn't have been if Roman wasn’t such a good storyteller.

“Well yeah... But it was worth it! If they didn't try they would have never known the outcome of that situation.” Roman was happy the knight seemed invested, he was mostly happy because he finally got to discuss the book with someone, and that someone had very different opinions than himself.

There was a knock on the door.

They both looked at each other, It didn't feel like they had been talking for that long. So, who in the hell was at the door?

Virgil stood up, hand fidgeting with the hilt of his sword. Roman stood as well, they both walked towards the door. Virgil opened the door, only to find Ruth on the other end of the door. “Oh, it's the lady from earlier.” Virgil turned to Roman as he let her in.

“Nurse, how did you get back so quickly?” Roman spoke up. “I wouldn't say it was that quick, it's been a few hours. But we found someone along the way so that did speed up the process.” Ruth talked as she noticed the untouched basket and started nearing it.

Roman and Virgil on the other hand looked at each other with confusion. It didn't feel like they had been talking for more than half an hour. “I'm sorry, I must have been talking your ear off.” The royal felt a need to apologize, “Hey, at least you made the wait entertaining.” the knight did not deem it necessary.

Ruth turned and glared at Roman. “So, you haven't eaten?” Roman glanced at the untouched basket and cursed under his breath, he completely forgot. “ Well…” Ruth was not having it “You brat.” She walked behind him and started pushing him towards the table.

“I had an excuse!” Ruth stopped pushing him “And what is it?” Roman turned to meet her eye and said, “I get nauseous when I eat too early.” Ruth looked unimpressed “I'm fully aware Roman. But it's almost noon.” Roman’s brain scrambled for another excuse “I was reading and I lost track of time.” She was still very much unimpressed. “As long as it wasn't the book you always read, fine by me”

As Roman’s nurse made sure Roman ate she noticed Virgil standing a few feet behind them. “I wasn't able to introduce myself earlier. I am Ruth, the brat’s nurse.” She extended her hand with a smile. Virgil shook her hand while he chuckled, which was interrupted by Roman’s overdramatic offended noises. “Nurse! You’re making him think I'll be a nightmare to care for!”

Ruth turned to him “Was I supposed to lie to him and tell him you’re a delight? My apologies, sire” Roman put a hand on his chest and gasped. “Now I understand why Trent called you a witch!” Ruth laughed, “You’re just basically proving my point.” Roman could only grumble and go back to eating.

Ruth took a look around the tower and spotted the red book on a table. “I see you've decided to become a liar huh?” Roman turned to her “Whatever do you mean?” She walked towards the table and picked up the book “Seems like someone was reading the same book they always read, I don't understand why they read it if they've memorized the whole book!” Roman knew Ruth was only joking but he didn't appreciate being called a liar “I wasn't reading it this time it was just out in the open! You can ask him!”

Roman pointed at Virgil, Ruth just looked at Virgil expecting an answer, “He wasn't reading that book, he was reading the one by the window” it wasn't a lie. “You better not be covering for that devil.” Virgil noticed there wasn't any malice behind her voice, her words portrayed something different. “Are you accusing me of being a liar? I thought that was reserved for the prince.” Ruth started laughing “Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Virgil just chuckled.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman’s nurse sat next to the window, looking out worriedly. Roman knew his nurse fairly well, “Has Remy not gotten back yet?” Ruth sighed and turned “My son and his tardiness again”.

Roman went over to his nurse, giving her a hug “I’m sure he’s just a little late..” Ruth tried to smile at Roman “I know Roman. I'm just a worried old hag.” Roman rolled his eyes and sat by the window

Ruth looked out the window one last time and took a deep breath. “Well I have to get going so we get there some time before sunrise” Roman stood up to say a proper goodbye to his nurse. “See you in a few days…” Roman really didn’t want to let go but he didn't have much of a choice.

Ruth started packing what she had brought in silence, once she neared the door she spoke “Roman, his and her majesty will have to be informed about this incident..” Roman was obviously not content because this would surely somehow be put partially on him. “Yes, I understand.” Ruth smiled sympathetically and turned to the storm eyed knight only a few feet away.

“Virgil, you’ll have to stay with Roman for a while longer. Commander Arlott sure didn't expect the need to find a replacement for Trent and truly not a day after being stationed here.” Virgil just nodded, he understood the circumstances and was glad to be able to witness such a sight. “The Commander insisted it would take quite some time to take someone off their post, he insisted he wasn't worried.” Ruth opened the door ready to leave, while Virgil was just trying for the pressure to not get to him.

Ruth said her final goodbyes and exited the tower.

Virgil then turned to the Royal, who went back to the same spot he had been before Ruth arrived, and just stared out the window as his nurse left.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Roman sat near the big window just looking out he started wondering why Virgil had even come here in the first place. He vaguely remembered Trent mentioning him being a messenger but that could just be some Knightly insult he was unaware of. So… he asked “Virgil, if you don't mind me asking...why exactly did you come here?” Virgil looked alarmed for a second as he had just zoned out for about 20 minutes “Commander Arlott, wanted me to deliver a message to Trent” Roman just responded with a simple “Oh” and resumed his staring out the window.

“So… how did the book end?” Virgil felt a little embarrassed to interrupt the silence to ask but he got extremely invested, to the point that if the Prince refused to share the information he might just read it himself. Roman just laughed, he knew how intriguing the book was “Well… In the middle of the mother’s plan being in motion they actually got word of a rebel group that had been inspired by their attempts to take the crown back.” Virgil sat down right across from the Royal nodding for him to go on.

Roman continued speaking but he kept getting distracted by a tapping sound. At first it was nothing, but then it got so prominent he couldn't ignore it anymore. Mid-rant he stopped himself and started looking around to see where the sound could possibly be coming from.

Virgil was confused as to why the heir had stopped speaking but then he started to hear taps. They didn’t sound like just a regular forest sound and they would surely not hear minuscule noises from such a height.

“Dear knight, are you hearing that?” Virgil nodded and stood up to see what could possibly be causing the ticks, Roman stood right along with him and then suddenly pointed towards the balcony doors. “Virgil, it's coming from the balcony.”

Virgil stopped to listen carefully “Yeah, but what's causing it?” They then saw a little pebble hit the glass doors of the balcony and make the tapping they had been hearing.

Roman went to the balcony with no hesitation and opened the doors.

Virgil started having his thoughts race a mile a minute, what if this was to lure the prince out to assassinate him? If the prince died on his watch he would be hung no doubt.

As these thoughts crossed his mind, he moved forward to follow the prince. He then quickly realized the prince was leaning over the balcony having a casual conversation with his possible murderer.

“Remy, what are you doing here? Ruth is going to kill you if you don't get there by sunrise!” Roman screamed down to the man in a black cape with dark tinted glasses covering his eyes. “Well yeah! But I had to make a stop here! I have something for you!” That made Roman start jumping with anticipation as to what Remy could have brought him from his trip

“What is it Rem? Is it something fancy? Is it food? Is it a book?” Though his eyes couldn't be spotted, not only because of his glasses but due to the height, it was very apparent he rolled his eyes. “No! It's a letter.” That got Roman even more excited. Could it actually be him? Roman haven't received anything but it could actually be! Finally some good news!

“Who’s it from?!” Remy looked down at the letter as if inspecting it “I don't know.” That caused Roman’s excitement to dull immensely. He would have surely marked it. There’s still a chance it could be him, right? Roman’s anticipation quickly turned into more of an anxious feeling.

taglist:

@meowthefluffy

@shade-romeo

@pattonsmile

@sevencreepycatsinacoat

@mychemically-imbalanced-romance

@innerpostturtle

@queenof-hell

@joyrose-fandomer

@vpow

#prinxiety #remile #ts roman #roman sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #roman angst #prinxiety fic #platonic remy n roman

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knickynoo · 3 years ago

Note

You wrote about it in Harborage but now I want to know all the details: what went down during the great midterm fiasco of 1985? (In both timelines). Loving your fic, btw!

LOL, I figured that little moment might stick out and prompt questions. Glad you're enjoying the fic!

Some context for others: I headcanon Marty with ADHD & that Doc is the first one to put the pieces together regarding it. In my fic, during a conversation, Doc and Marty make reference to "The Midterm Fiasco of January 1985", which isn't elaborated on but is basically implied as being the event that prompts Doc to have a conversation with Marty regarding his suspicions.

Now, some details for you, anon. (I do have a whole backstory on it because I wrote a one-shot a while back that was similar-ish in concept, but I never posted it and probably won't at this point. So...here!) LONG post ahead...

Marty's staring down the barrel of midterm week, and he prepares accordingly by telling Doc he won't be by the garage for a while because he's going to be going straight home to study.

Doc is like, "Great, let me know if you need help," and when he doesn't see of hear from Marty, he assumes it means all is going well.

Until Marty comes flying through the garage door at full speed the weekend before his exams start, in a complete panic. He's all disheveled, and he drops his half open backpack to the ground and just sort of gives Doc this wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look.

Doc figures Marty is overwhelmed or burnt out, so he assures his friend he can help and asks what subject Marty wants to focus on.

And Marty just stands there a moment and goes, "All of them." Which makes Doc go "????" because Marty's supposedly been at home studying all week, so he asks, hesitantly, if Marty has studied at all yet even though he knows the answer to that.

"Marty...what have you been doing all week??" Cue a distressed shrug from Marty and, "I DON'T KNOW."

No, really. Marty has no clue how he managed to somehow waste away the whole week, feeling stressed out of his mind but unable to open up a book. He kept telling himself he had time until oops, he's got less than two days before the tests and has done nothing.

Doc, of course, has seen this scenario before (albeit on a smaller scale with other assignments) so he calms things down first and then asks if he can take a look at Marty's exam schedule, his notes/study guides, etc.

Except...um...Marty doesn't have any of those things. He dumps out his backpack, which is pretty much just a mess of wrinkled papers, a hundred pencils, food wrappers, and probably a few things he thought he had lost a while back. Exam schedule? It's somewhere in his room. Maybe. Notes? They're sparse, and a lot of what he does have is disorganized or illegible. Study guide? HA!

After a nice, nutritious fast food meal and some time to regroup (and a trip to the McFly house so Marty can find his schedule), Doc helps him form a game plan and attempt to sort through what notes he does have, as well as zero in on the specific topics he most needs to focus on.

There's only so much Doc can do though, because Marty is attempting to cram like, 4 months worth of material into his brain at once which just...doesn't work. So, it's a very tumultuous week that Marty spends panic-studying at the garage and barely sleeping. And, as Marty is prone to do, he gets all caught up in the self-blame spiral, which does nothing to aid in his motivation.

Doc keeps helping to get him back on track, but he also kind of paces the garage, doing some work/small tasks and thinking through the whole situation. He's well aware of this familiar pattern of procrastination and last minute scrambling, as well as many of Marty's other tendencies and general quirks. The impulsiveness, the time blindness, distractibility, executive functioning issues, etc.

Doc had come across some literature on ADD a while back (which is what it was referred to as then. It was changed to ADHD in 1987) and he became fascinated with the topic, as well as the clear connection he saw to Marty. He'd kept the information to himself though, never quite sure if he should bring it up for fear of upsetting his friend and also the chance he could be wrong.

But as he stands by, listening to Marty complain and drown in stress, Doc is like, Okay, yeah, we're not doing this anymore, and sits Marty down for a chat.

He says that there could be an explanation for what's going on and slowly wades into the topic, explaining all the things he'd read and his own observations. Marty's heard of ADD, but at this point in the 80s, it's still regarded by many people as not even existing, and most cases that are acknowledged/treated are the most severe ones, primarily made up of really young kids (almost exclusively boys) who are "completely out of control" and have significant discipline problems. So, Marty sort of brushes him off at first, but as Doc continues to list facts and refer to his research, Marty can't deny that he identifies with most of the things he's hearing. Plus, he trusts that Doc wouldn't just toss something like this out there without having genuine reason to.

They talk for a really long time, and lightbulbs are just going off everywhere above Marty's head as he takes things in and is like, OH. Well...now what??

Unfortunately, because of the limited understanding of the condition by most people (and even professionals), lack of resources, and Marty's less than involved parents in the original timeline, there aren't a whole lot of viable options. So Doc turns the focus to strategies they can implement in order to help with those day to day tasks that are most difficult. But more than anything, Doc makes it clear to Marty that it doesn't make him "a slacker", that being differently wired isn't bad, and that he's incredibly bright and capable.

The conversation is a lot to take in, but it's a beneficial one. Marty is still very much Marty, and a lot of things stay the same, but feeling fully understood helps a lot. The fact that Doc is open about his own eccentricities and differences is an added bonus.

When all is said and done, Marty makes it through the whirlwind of a week with his sanity mostly intact. His grades aren't spectacular or anything, but he manages to pass every exam, and the week is soon fondly dubbed "The Midterm Fiasco of January 1985" by the both of them.

The end

Thanks for the ask!

#back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #asks #I didn't make a distinction between the two timelines because #I think this played out pretty much the same way in both #only difference might be the level of George and Lorraine's awareness/involvement

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