#my brain is not great on a good day
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I always forget how bad I feel in winter
#my brain is not great on a good day#and now the sun goes down at noon#aur's mental health#i just gotta go to bed#night
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the cruelest thing about the world is that there's so many languages and a girl can't learn all of them
#legit have like 5 things open at once and i'm losing my mind#slovenian and english are locked down#german is far enough to function in so that's fine#but then i have a 50 day streak of swedish (cause it's my fav country to visit)#and i've done like three monthly spurts of russian (cause it sounds so pretty and also slavic so it's not that hard)#and i've done asl for years and love it more than anything#and i fully plan to start in-person classes for slovenian sign (so it'll actually be useful here and great if i come across deaf patients)#anyways. having a good one#my brain is screaming to stop and do one at a time but i don't have the discipline for that#noodle rambles#language stuff#langblr
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[REACTION SPEED - IMPOSSIBLE] Gracefully step OVER the cat
#my art#kazuma asogi#dgs spoilers#kinda but not really#dai gyakuten saiban#the great ace attorney#disco elysium#sorry it's been a while. it's my last finals week of my college career and I'm so damn tired#finished disco elysium recently and I have such insane brain worms about it. especially about jean#figured this style would be good for rendering practice and it turned out better than I thought#this is dumb lmao. hope too many people haven't done this already#also yes I gave him the vicquemare square as a background. don't worry about it#bro did not do enough speed before this check smh my head
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new prints!! n some old ones restocked >:3 link
#mine#uehehuehueuee#i got so low on stock bless....brain is so small#also u will not believe th frog plush i bought this morning .....#i collect frog plushes now i hve decided#i hve had an okay day...made sm orders...i was literally abt 2 go mail n now its raining ough#actually. i think its trying 2 snow. hmm.#largest update in my life rn is i am now th proud owner of an electric blanket#its. its so good. take this as ur sign 2 get one#its helpin my joints as well!! when i get cold for sm reason i tense up my ? hips? n i was getting so sore ough#okay it is snowing now. great. am gna wait for it 2 stop n then post n then......video game time >:)#someone stop me from buying morrowind
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hello dungeon meshi lesbians
#it’s lesbian visibility week and I like Namari so I cast the lesbian spell on her#I’m also art blocked and my brain is fried so no hands will be drawn this time#namari is so great I loved her in the manga and I’m watching the anime now and it’s making me love her even more#I love her voice the va was such a good pick#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#namari#dunmeshi#whatever the kids are calling it these days
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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece
#ill watch it at some point but despite my silence i have been like obsessively anxious about this cartoon#and pestered my friend to watch it for me sDFJKL#in a month this will have either ruined pnf for me forever or i'll have changed my mind and i like it actually its fine#for now anyway i have tons of comic sketches about perry's muteness that i no longer wanna finish and share...maybe someday but not now#i had a rly great day actually but now im falling asleep in bed tipsy and a little teary over this. cuz i love perry a lot he's#really special to me. i also got that star wars perry shirt in the mail today btw. and. it's such a good pj shirt#but back on topic#it sucks when an aspect of a character that is CORE to your appreciation of them becomes casually disregarded by the writers at some point#like im certainly not ever accepting an interpretation of perry like 'secretly hed really like to be able to talk' because its#never ever been communicated. like the idea that heinz wd prefer if perry was human. its just not in the show. the opposite is true in fact#so im left feeling stupid for caring about something that some writers(inc. dan) felt was unimportant. makes me not wanna continue my art#which sux cuz i like my comic ideas! id love to finish them. i hope i get over this.#i overreact to live-updating media when im fixated on it wh is why i prefer getting into dead fandoms haha#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe#it was funny me trying to explain to my friend why i efel so strongly about this meanwhile hes tried to explain why he feels so strongly ab#ut AYA and my stance on that episode has always just been “cute! its fine” lmao#@ dwampy you guys made the show that follows a specific rhythm and set of rules designed to appeal to obsessive autistic brained people ok#you invited my overreaction. unsheathes katana etc#ok im goint to sleep#meta
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Hi I hate to be cheesy but I wanted to say that while a lot of people - very rightly!!! - point out how cool your art is and how inspirational it is that you showed art can be learned, not just a rare natural born talent, I also LOVE your sense of humor. The dialog and visual jokes are always so sharp and are guarenteed to make me laugh! Because I'm autistic as hell lol I like to bookmark things I can read through over agian when I'm looking for laughs and your blog is now high on the list! Thx!
Be not afraid to be cheesy; your genuine message has brought me immense joy B’*)
#ask#non mdzs#<-temp tag until i figure out a good sona tag name#I am currently living in a hazy state of exhastion so I cannot make my thoughts as clear as I would like - however#Thank you kindly for sending such a sweet message💙#I am very glad to be the funny little creature that brightens someone’s day#Also very happy to have the autism brain brrrr seal of approval. A true honour B*)#I’d Love to know your favourites if you’re comfortable sharing. Sort of a cool littlt tidbit to know!#I hope you have a great day! Tha k you again for your support!#(meant to combine this with the jyl post - for the 27th- whoops! this is how far we have fumbled the ball these last two weeks)
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my favorite steamgoth icon
#good morning drebber nation (its almost 3 am)#rip enoch you would have loved cinema strange and creature feature#god he is so me it hurts#honestly i can never get sick of drawing him he just translates into my style so well#now i wont be able to draw for weeks im exhausted lmao#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#ace attorney#enoch drebber#i love posting in the dead of night and not when everyone is presumably awake at a reasonable hour#aa#tgaa#dgs#dgs2#shit i draw#please bring him back in dgs3 i bailed him out of jail myself so get to work crapcom#edit: oh my god this guy is a fucking BRAIN PARASITE#HE IS SO ME. IT ACHES.#enochposting
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making of a feathered thing
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#tagging ship like a power word kill here#hi. linked there is a fic I wrote in uhhh. three hours? something like that#literally have no idea how to explain it to you at all. feel free to read if u wanna. mostly its like damn I keep puttings pictures into thi#s literary piece.#gonna cool down soon. oh boy is it hot here. probably why I wrote that#that took place in like november but the vibe is. summer. or something like that I really need to sleep#new ink arrived! its kinda watery! line still feathering! not into this!#I'll try to see if thats more my paper. dont enjoy that#but yeah Ive just been testing the ink and stuff out with these#doing these like. less than an hour each. no brain just go#man I wanna fly a kite... theres an open plot of land right next to me. I should try doing that#go out and hang out with so many bugs and fly a kite#gods. I need to sleep. idk not much to say here I simply think reki is a growing boy and he'll become great and awesome#thats all folks! have a good night. well good day. its 5am#sleep well! run so fast
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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently
#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case#like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring#this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world#the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect#and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring#i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it#ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc#but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other#so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason#this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling#i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3#maiora garrulates
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Can we get more Spider-Man content? I’ve already read through all of the current ones, and I crave more. All of your posts are great and I’d love to see more of them.
I’d love to make more fun posts but I’m still recovering from being sick rn and classes just started back so I’ve been mostly suffering these past few days so my brain just hasn’t really been working 😭
But! I can leave this one thought for you:
Peter Parker working for Norman Osborn while he’s still an undergraduate and getting into a whispered heated argument with him when Norman a) takes one of Peter’s designs and unveils it without crediting him and also b) removes safety features from it to make it cheaper to manufacture it
Peter quits on the spot when he realizes Norman isn’t sorry for what he’s done and isn’t gonna make things right, and Norman threatens him with never getting to “work in this town again” and good luck proving those were his designs and Oscorp’s also keeping all of Peter’s other stuff that they’ve stolen from him
(This is about the time that Norman’s started taking the goblin serum so he’s just at absolute peak asshole™️ mode)
Within seconds of Norman telling Peter he won’t stand a chance against Oscorp’s legal team, especially as a broke college student, Matt Murdock shows up after sprinting towards them (his super hearing letting him hear the entire argument) to hand Peter his business card and let him know he’ll take his case pro-bono
#I know people say they spend a lot of time on tumblr when they aren’t doing okay#but I feel like I’m the opposite#if I’m making a lot of posts then there’s a good chance I’m in a good place to be creative#(or maybe I’m procrastinating something 😭)#also!! putting tags on reblogs helps me with creating posts 🥺👉👈#it’s always great to either get feedback or to have someone add something that I can then add to#making a fun creative cycle#this ask feels like it came from my brain#especially with that spidey dream I had#I want to make more spidey (and Star Trek and aliens and DP) posts#but just getting through the day rn is taking all my energy 😭😭😭#Spiderman#spider man#spider-man#Peter Parker#norman osborn#green goblin#matt murdock#daredevil#ask#ask box
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I always forget how bad I feel in winter
#my brain is not great on a good day#and now the sun goes down at noon#aur's mental health#i just gotta go to bed#night
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I keep hoping this is just summer depression and will let up around the time the semester starts up again, but even if it is, I think I need to accept that this is a far more intense & debilitating instance of "summer depression" than I have dealt with in the past--all during a year where my mental health was actually significantly improved for a while--and do some serious thinking about how to handle this sort of thing in the future.
Like, I keep meaning to work on the elf outfit I'm trying to throw together for DragonCon and I can't summon the motivation at all, even though I'm excited about it in theory, and the tiniest, silliest things are making me want to cry (just now, a double whammy of a post about autistic sensory issues around food next to a post about a neat dinner a friend cooked, because apparently I no longer have it in me not to cry about..... not actually liking food very much, even though I wish I did). Not to mention how it's interacting with aromantic wedding-related stresses as we start with all that planning. And I dread to think how it will affect me if it persists into the fall--I have a research project to do and, even more pressingly, graduate school applications to write on top of all my classes!
(Never mind the irony that the research project is on melancholia during the Renaissance and I was wanting to connect it to modern conceptions of depression, but I would like to have the brain to actually do the research, thank you very much)
In any case. Feeling very down and hoping it's temporary, but even if it is, I think I need to stop treating it like something that's just going to pass when the sun goes away :(
#i really am doing so much better mentally in... all other respects#but it sucks that even if i learn good coping strategies and mature emotional responses and etc. my brain can still wreck my day#probably going to talk to my psychiatrist about adjusting my meds a little the next time i see him#sigh. i am not doing so great all
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Day 274 | id in alt
I like to think Gojo has the strongest mentality so far up his ass it pisses Kugisaki off because, DUDE. SHE FUCKING GETS IT. BE QUIET. He's emo but a different color.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#gojo satoru#didn't color him normally because i didn't wanna💖#i fuckin passed out the other day sorry bout that but thankfully i now i have a fully draw thing for tewmorrow#gojo brings me great loathing and i cannot begin to piece together the pure “i know his issues and i no longer care” i have for him#the fandom shoves it down your throat too much for me for actually care for his existence#i say this like i didn't just watch a limbus company character shout for her oarmen for 30 minutes straight#listen. very good va and very entertaining for my unitched brain wrinkles#i love the sea in any kind of way i love weird shit#yall gonna hafta side eye me before i stare grabbing Kugisaki with rose and bear imagery again heavily#woe. fixation upon me#not woe because i fucking adore Kugisaki are you fuckin kidding me#i have so many things to jab gojo with for Kugisaki dont even get me started#no. dagons domain and his awakened design did not remotely make me happy#basic as FUCk imo but we wont get into that#im very passionate about mind and cosmic horror and sea horror and whatever that kinda shit sorry#i will push it through Kugisaki. hope yall are okay w that💖☝️
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me when the project i put an absurd amount of work into still fails to reach my ludicrously high, literally impossible-to-hit standards
#every day i wake up catastrophize abt shr for ten hours and then go to bed#i hate my brain i litearlly despise it. “erm this comic isn't as good as dungeon meshi” YEAH MAN NO SHIT????????#guy screaming at other guy meme can i pick something other to compare myself to other than like. the golden standards of comics#this is my first ever original project. it will not be perfect it frankly may not even be Good. logically i have accepted this#emotionally i will burst into glass and cinders if it isn't So Great So Good Yippee Yay#you understand.#vent#i guess ????? im just bitching#sparks speaks
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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!
#persona 3 spoilers#minato arisato#hc and au nonsense#lizzy speaks#happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls#you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations#and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4#and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES#objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written#but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently#specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship#it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc#it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but#eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go#“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons#anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙
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